#BRO CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HIS COOKING LIKE COME ON YOU CANNOT TELL ME HE IS NOT ADORKABLE

[my-name-is-jefferooni]

Okay listen. I know all the Silver moments are sweet. But the Shadow moments towards the end are honestly my favorite. “Because happiness come from inside.” BRO ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HOW IS THIS NOT MELTING YOUR GODDAMN HEART RIGHT NOW WHAT THE FUCK

OH AND DON’T YOU DARE LOOK AT ME WITH A BLANK-ASS FACE WHEN HEARING ABOUT SONIC THINKING OF CHIP DON’T YOU DARE SAY IM BEING OVERDRAMATIC DON’T YOU DARE BE NORMAL ABOUT THAT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IAN YOU CANNOT JUST PUT THAT IN THERE AND THEN MOVE ON LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED

I gotta get the cookbook now not for the recipes but literally just for these little small interactions. Such wholesome shit!

All The Fun Bits From The Sonic Cookbook

The cookbook was made by Sonic, Tails, and Amy

And Eggman, who apparently broke into Tails' lab and added his own recipes because he was jealous

Knuckles makes paste to use as filling for rolls by smashing together stuff he finds on Angel Island

The recipe for egg tarts in the cookbook is the same in Sonic's time as it is in Silver's

One time all the ovens in the Sol Empire's palace failed during a gala event, so Blaze helped out the chefs by using her flames to cook the food, and continued doing it from time to time afterwards

Rouge likes food that tastes expensive

In the post-06 timeline, Amy still visited Soleanna, but she never met Elise. She mentions feeling like they would've gotten along great

Blaze often gets so focused on her work that she forgets to eat

The Diamond Cutters used to celebrate a successful mission with muffins. Whisper feels like she's with them again when she eats one

Marine asked the chefs in the Sol Empire's palace to make her some curry, but she thought it was too boring, so she went in and made some for herself

(Ngl I almost teared up at this one. Silver I love youuuuuu)

After a successful heist, Rouge likes to treat herself to something indulgent

Rouge plays the mandolin (I think)

Every so often, Sonic will get a sundae supreme and think of Chip

(This one is so good too. Ian Flynn thank you for blessing Silver fans with this)

Eggman is a pretty good baker

Blaze's family has had their own tea recipe for many years

(Literally all the Silver bits are fantastic. I can't get over it)

Chao fruit are edible to Mobians

[leaderwonim]

WHAT’S YOUR ETA ?!

pairing. exbf’s best friend!heeseung x fem!reader

summary. although heeseung’s always believed in bro code, he can’t help but call you when he sees your boyfriend, park sunghoon, cheat on you with some girl at a party. don’t worry though, heeseung can prove he’s much better than sunghoon.

“Hey! Y/N?” The voice of Lee Heeseung comes through your phone, his camera shaky and pointed at the ground which was covered in what you can only assume is confetti.

“Heeseung?” You say quietly, rubbing your eyes as you sat up from your bed. “Don’t you have a performance later?”

“I cannot believe this,” you recognize the voice of Park Jongseong, who recently became close friends with you after discovering you both liked cooking.

“Isn’t that your boyfriend?” Heeseung moves the camera view from the floor towards the pool of a house you don’t know, zooming into what looks like your boyfriend, Park Sunghoon, talking to another girl.

“Hurry up and get over to Lia’s house!” Jongseong says, eyebrows furrowed. “Oh my God—look at them.”

When the camera finally clears, you realize it’s Yuna standing next to your boyfriend, touching and grazing his arms while he smiles down at her.

Unable to handle it any longer, you practically jump up from the bed, running into your bathroom with your phone in hand.

“Hey, me and Jongseong have to perform,” Heeseung speaks up. “We’ll call you back!”

Heeseung hangs up the FaceTime, and you want to slam your head against your mirror when the sleepiness wears off and you let what you just saw sink into your brain.

“It’s always the girl that he tells you not to worry about,” you say grumpily, brushing your teeth so harshly that the toothbrush practically falls out of your mouth.

By the time Heeseung and Jongseong finish their performance, the crowd was cheering like crazy, but they were both too concerned as to where you were to care.

“Hey Hee!”

The voice of Park Sunghoon almost makes the two boys fall back first into the pool, but luckily Jongseong gripped the back of Heeseung’s shirt tightly so they wouldn’t trip.

“What’s up?” Heeseung chuckles nervously, eyes wandering around to see if Yuna was hanging around nearby.

He knew Park Sunghoon all too well to know that he was most likely going to take Yuna to his house after Lia’s party. Sunghoon was his best friend, but that doesn’t automatically mean Sunghoon was a good person.

“Your performance was killer, man.” Sunghoon pats Heeseung’s back, “you too Jongseong, the way you dance was just flawless.”

“Mhm.” Jongseong tries his best to smile at Sunghoon, which didn’t work because it looks like he was constipated.

“Okay.” Sunghoon awkwardly smiles, patting Heeseung’s back one more time before descending back into the crowd.

“What was that?” Heeseung says, laughing so hard he has to clutch his stomach. “Your eyes were twitching and you looked like you’re gonna poop!”

“Shut up!” Jongseong pushes the older boy back in annoyance. “I didn’t want to speak with that cheater, Y/N’s my friend.”

It was as if Jongseong’s mention of your name spawned you to the party because there you were, walking up to them with the angriest look a woman could have.

“Where is he?” You say, scanning the crowd with a glare.

“Whoa there,” Heeseung places both his hands on your shoulders, “do you really want to do this here? I don’t want Sunghoon to embarrass you.”

“Who says I’m going to end it?” You say, challenging the two boys who’s jaws practically drop to the ground.

“What? Cmon! He’s real bad Y/N, just end it.” Jongseong begs.

“He’s right,” Heeseung says, bambi eyes dosing down at you. “Don’t indulge him.”

“Promise me you’ll pop his tires with me if he embarrasses me?” You ask Jongseong, who automatically nods as he lets out a small giggle.

“Popping his tires and keying his car.”

“Okay,” you take a deep breath. “I’ll do it.”

You spot Park Sunghoon easily now, it wasn’t so hard when Shin Yuna was all up on him.

“Sunghoon!” You yell, which attracts the bystanders nearby. “You cheating bitch!”

Sunghoon’s expression quickly turns into panic, his face converted into a nervous fit of giggles that past you would’ve found endearing and cute.

“What on earth are you talking about?” He chuckles, grabbing your arm as he smiles at bystanders. “Can we not do this here?”

“Oh we’re doing this here.” You elbow him in the stomach, which works because he groans and loses the grip he had on your arm. “We’re done, over. I’ll mail your shit to you so I don’t have to see you ever again. And if you try to come back, I’ll make sure to have Heeseung beat your ass.”

Sunghoon’s eyebrows furrow and his expression darkens. “Heeseung? Why would my best friend beat my ass for you?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” You grin. “He was the one who told me you were cozying up with Shin Yuna you bastard!”

“Okay—that’s enough,” Yuna steps in, which only fuels your anger even more.

“You’re so lucky I don’t believe in violence.” You spit out at both of them in disgust.

“Oh please, you wouldn’t dare to hit me.”

“But I would.” Sunghoon has no time to react to Heeseung’s words because his face was already met with the older boy’s fist, making him collide with the floor.

“Holy shit!”

“Sunghoon!”

While Yuna’s busy helping Sunghoon off the ground, Jongseong grabs both you and Heeseung, running towards Lia’s backyard door.

“That was fucking amazing.” Jongseong breathes out. “You punched your best friend.”

“Yeah,” Heeseung sucks in a breath when he realizes it’s starting to bruise. “He’s definitely gonna kill me.”

“Not if I kill him first,” you mumble, carefully grabbing ahold of Heeseung’s hand. “We’re gonna need to bandage your hand. Come to my house.”

Jongseong watches with a smirk as you still hold onto Heeseung’s hand. He walks behind the two of you, happy that you were finally with someone better than Sunghoon.

“This has happened more than once, hasn’t it?” You say, frowning as you patted Heeseung’s bruising hand with ointment.

“I saw it before but you weren’t there,” Heeseung says, sucking in his breath. “I didn’t want to believe Sunghoon was cheating on you so I waited to see if he was gonna do it again. And he did.”

“What an asshole,” Jongseong adds in. “I’m gonna key his daddy’s money Mercedes Benz.”

The three of you laugh, the sadness of the situation wearing down slowly.

“Thanks for telling me Hee,” you say, finally making eye contact with him. “I know you guys were friends for a while.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I won’t do what’s right.” Heeseung sighs. “Remember when you couldn’t come to Jongseong’s birthday because he wanted you to help him with economics homework?”

Jongseong lets out a gasp. “Oh my gosh, now that Heeseung’s mentioned it, you did miss my birthday because of that fucker!”

“And remember when I got into trouble? He ditched me even though I’m the closest friend he has.” Heeseung chuckles bitterly. “Or when I got broken up with and Sunghoon told you not to comfort me because it wasn’t your place.”

“I now realize how much power he had over me,” you say, lips curving into the saddest frown Heeseung’s ever seen.

“Hey—it’s okay.” He reassures you. “You were being manipulated by him, it’s not your fault.”

“It’s really not!” Jongseong yells from the living room.

You two roll your eyes at his small commentary, and when you lock eyes again, Heeseung can’t help but break into a smile, admiring how beautiful you looked.

“You deserve better.” Heeseung says breathily.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” His eyes trail down to your lips before looking up at you with those brown bambi eyes again. “You deserve better like me.”

Heeseung doesn’t have to say it twice before you’re crashing your lips onto his, the shriek of Park Jongseong and a cup breaking goes unnoticed by the two of you.

[hearts4renaa]

HE IS IN LOVE.

summary: things the bsd men do that show how in love with you he is. featuring atsushi, akutagawa, dazai, chuuya, ranpo, and kunikida

contains: fluff, gender neutral reader. based off of “you are in love” by taylor swift

a/n: ahhh bsd they could never make me forget about you. reblogs are always appreciated <3

you can hear it in the silence. you can feel it on the way home. you can see it with the lights out. you are in love. true love.

—

he says “look up”, and your shoulders brush.

ATSUSHI points out anything and everything that is even slightly related to your relationship. you could be walking down the streets together and he’d suddenly point at a restaurant sign while talking excitedly, “remember how we had our first date there?!” or he’d point at a mannequin in a window and go “the color of the shirt is like those shoes you wore at ___!!” he loves you so evidently that you seep into everything he sees. for him, the world has never been so colorful.

—

no proof, one touch. but you felt enough.

AKUTAGAWA squeezes your hand three times to tell you he loves you. he’s fully aware it’s cliche as hell, but that’s never deterred him. he squeezes your hand at the most random times too. talking to a cashier? i love you. watching a film at your place? i love you. cooking in your kitchen? i love you. he may not always tell you with words, but akutagawa never fails to remind you that he loves you. you are always his favorite thing to think about.

—

morning, his place. burnt toast, sunday.

DAZAI wakes you up with three things: a kiss, a coffee, and an attempt at breakfast. keyword: attempt. bro cannot cook for shit, and he knows it, so he ends up just making you toast. it’s either barely toasted or it’s burnt, no in between. but, your coffee is always exactly how you like it, and he makes sure to write you a cheesy little note no matter what. the giggles you have at the sight of his toast makes up for the tiny bit of embarrassment he feels for still not having the toast method down. he loves you, and he knows you’ll always love him, no matter how shitty his cooking is.

—

you keep his shirt. he keeps his word.

CHUUYA swears to you before every mission that he’ll come back home to you. and he never fails. you are always on his mind, no matter how much danger he is in. he makes sure to fight long and hard if it means that at the end of the day, he gets to be in your arms. it even works for simpler things, like if he was too lazy to fill out his reports. all he has to do is remember that you’re at home waiting for him, and that gives him all the motivation he needs. they say home is where the heart is, and his heart belongs to you.

—

you two are dancing in a snow-globe round and round.

RANPO spontaneously dances with you whenever he thinks the atmosphere is pretty. when the first snowfall hit, he brought you out to dance. when there was a soft shower of summer rain, he brought you out to dance. when the sun shone through the clouds, he brought you out to dance. he doesn’t care about the lack of music or coordination. you could step on each other’s feet a thousand times, but he’d still wear the same joyous smile. no matter the weather, no matter how bad his feet might hurt after. he always thinks you’re the most beautiful when you’re dancing with him.

—

and he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown.

KUNIKIDA has a little corner on his desk in the agency’s office basically dedicated to you. he has little trinkets you’ve given to him all laid out nicely, along with his favorite picture of you all framed. dazai teases him every time he walks by. kunikida tells him off each time, but he never removes anything off his desk. he glances at your picture every time he feels a little burnt out or tired. you keep him grounded, in a sense. you remind him about the reason why he’s doing all of this in the first place. there is good in the world. he knows that the world can be good because you were good to him. and he can only hope he’s been as good to you.

[gh0st-t0wn3]

Lmk ss edits + Headcanons, Part 2 (Pigsy, Tang, Sandy, Sun Wukong, Macaque)

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Huge environmentalist, if you put any garbage or recycling in the wrong bin expect to get at least a three hour lecture, no you can not escape this, yes MK and Mei have tried, no they did not succeed

- ONLY shops from farmers markets/family businesses, you will never catch this man supporting a corporation

- Use to steal Tang's college hoodies

- Took him the longest to get used to having Redson around and a part of the group , but eventually warmed up to him (is still kinda salty about Redson burning MK's room though)

- Grows his own herbs

- Gets incredibly frustrated when he gets the hiccups (writing this as I'm fighting off hiccups)

- Loves watching true crime shows and listening to true crime podcasts while he does household chores or while he's setting up/closing the shop

- Got his ears pierced with Tang

- MK and Mei call him mom when he's being overbearing, Tang calls him mom now too to tease him

- Once caught Mei and MK sneaking food out of the kitchen at 3am and beat them with a broom for a solid minute because he was too drowsy to recognize them and assumed they were intruders (they were fine)

- Is the type of person to call his husband (Tang) "bro", "dude" etc

- Got drunk in college once and talked about nothing but how much he loved Tang, didn't remember any of it the next day but Tang asked him out pretty quickly after that

- Exchanged a few recipes with DBK while they were at the beach, they still do exchange more recipes once in a while but they don't talk much outside of cooking related topics

- Learned how to play dnd in college because Tang liked the game and ended up liking it a lot more than he expected to so they wound up playing together all the time (they still play it once in a while if they have time)

- Him and Sandy get together every other weekend to try and help Pigsy with his anger management issues

- Never called MK his son while he was growing up because he was scared that MK's real family would show up one day to take him back home, finally realized that no one was gonna show up a short while after MK turned 10 and started acting like an actual parent (MK always saw Pigsy as his dad though)

- Always says "this is the last time" when giving Tang free noodles (it is never gonna be the last time, and Tang knows it)

- Once bumped into a mannequin at the mall and apologized to it, Tang still makes fun of him

- Use to take Mei and MK to conventions all the time until Mei learned how to drive and could take them herself

- Won't care for people getting hurt in movies but will be absolutely crushed if something happens to an animal (sobbed when he watched "A Dog's Purpose")

- Smells like noodles

- Love language is acts of service

- Keeps trying to convince Tang to come with him to family events, has yet to succeed

- Carries around an extra pair of headphones in case Tang or MK needs them

- Almost threw hands with DBK and PiF after hearing about how they treated Redson (seriously guys, I need Redson to have a good parental figure in the next season, please), this man is a father to everyone

- Snores loud as fuck, it's a wonder how Tang gets any sleep

- No fashion sense what's so ever

- Insomnia

- He/Him

- Gay

- Once zoned out and stared at a wall for six hours straight

- Desk is covered in pencil shavings and pen ink

- Constantly bruised from always falling (weak ankles)

- Fluent in Polish, don't ask why, it just feels right

- Doodled all over his books in school (they made him pay for new ones)

- Never up before sunrise

- Got in some random dudes car once thinking it was a taxi and almost got himself kidnapped

- Will make the most annoying, smart-ass remark to anything anyone says

- I'm not actually sure if it's ever mentioned in the show what Tang does for a living but it doesn't matter, he's a college history professor now

- Has grandma floral bedsheets (we've all seen his sleepwear, you cannot tell me that man doesn't have grandma floral bedsheets)

- Somehow always cold

- Constanly napping, he can and will fall asleep if he's left alone for too long (his students once caught him asleep at his desk after lunch break and dipped class)

- Used to have hexagon glasses cause he thought they looked cool but found out Pigsy liked circular ones better so he got new ones

- Still has a septum piercing he got while he was in college but keeps it flipped up, he also has ear gauges

- When he met Pigsy's parents he was super nervous and ended up passing out half way through the night because of anxiety, he has not lived it down and refuses to go to any events with Pigsy if his family is gonna be there (they actually really liked him and are disappointed when he doesn't show up)

- Doesn't own a bookshelf for some reason, everything is just piled on the floor

- Very faint freckles

- Needs a daily 'to do' list, his whole day gets thrown off if he doesn't have some kind of schedule

- Maladaptive daydreamer

- Never showers, only takes baths

- Needs headphones on crowded transportation otherwise he'll get stressed at all the noises and talking overlapping eachother

- Severe rsd (rejection sensitivity dysphoria,  "benched" was an especially bad time for him)

- Number one art appreciator and constantly drags Pigsy to museums

- Smells like a library (please tell me you know what smell I mean)

- Love language is gift giving ( and you KNOW he loves you when he shares his food with you willingly)

- 76% of the clothes he owns are thrifted

- Blind as a fucking bat, if he looses his glasses he's on the floor feeling around for them like Velma,  I swear they could be two feet in front of him but he won't even notice

- Hypersomnia

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Huge conspiracy theorist, ask him anything and he'll have some in depth explanation on how it relates to cryptids or something (I'm talking Matpat level conspiracy theorist, seriously, someone get him help)

- Slowest typer on the planet (mainly because the screen is too small for his hands), will respond to something 3-5 minutes after they changed topics

- Made seed bombs and threw them everywhere at random around the city and now there's a bunch of flowers and vines growing everywhere

- Was the first one (Aside from Mei and MK) to welcome Redson into the group with open arms, everyone else was still kinda cautious

- Would literally die for any of his friends, no questions asked, no hesitation, just jumps in the line of danger as soon as he sees one of his friends about to get hurt

- Didn't have a lot of friends growing up until he met Pigsy in his last year of high school because everyone was afraid of him

- He and Pigsy were in a band together in college, Sandy discusses it with pride, Pigsy gets embarrassed and denies ever being in a band at all

- Since he also has scales he's the one who teaches and helps Mei look after her scales and keep them from drying or getting damaged

- Yoga master, wakes up super early to do it during sunrise

- Has the best taste in music, he can find the most amazing, tear jerking, heart wrenching, underground music ever effortlessly

- Hasn't met a single person he wasn't able to get along with

- Firmly believes in all the little wishing rituals (11:11, shooting stars, birthday candles, blowing dandelions etc)

- Learned how to whistle so he could sing along with birds

- *gets robbed* "oh, i bet he needed the money, it's ok"  "I really don't think he did." "...maybe he's gonna donate it!"

- Favourite kind of tea is earl grey

- Named one of his cats Maquack after Macaque

- Sometimes cat sits for Bai He when she goes to doctor appointments, family visits out of the city, etc

- Got his piercing while he was still in a band but kept them in because his band mates were some of his first friends and they all got pierced together

- Has a tail to help him swim better (unfortunately I could not add it in the edit above but just I imagine he has the same kind of tail as the water Na'vi in Avatar ig)

- Skin has a faint ombre to it (his hands and feet are lighter and fade around his forearms/knees to a slightly darker blue (i did add this one in my edit but unfortunately I don't think it's as visible as I wanted it to be, my bad)

- Webbed hands and feet to help him swim better

- Has adipose eyelids like a fish to protect his eyes from the water, block exposure of harmful ultraviolet light into his eyes and act as protection against impact to the eye in aquatic environments. Since his eyelids are transparent though, he has to wear a sleeping mask at night

- Smells like a mix of ocean air and tea

- Love language is quality time and physical touch (will pick up and hug his friends all the time no matter the place)

- His hair and beard always have something in them, sand, seaweed etc

- Shoes are actually really uncomfortable for him to wear because his body is evolved for an aquatic environment, but he doesn't want to be rude so he wears them anyway (Mei found out and got him a customized pair of shoes so he could be comfortable without feeling like he's being rude)

- Uses Kaomojis

- If he's not busy, or doesn't have anything planned for the next few hours, he'll spend his free time cleaning up the ocean and beaches from any garbage

- He/Him

- Pansexual

- Everything he has ever done has been an impulse decision

- Is the type of mf to kick the inside of someone knee while they're walking to make them fold (Tang is the primary victim)

- Chews his nails

- Made up his own constellations as a "fuck you" to the universe (somehow managed to convince some mortals they were real constellations too)

- Mk and Co constantly forget how ancient swk is until he says some old person shit

- Naturally has curly and untamable hair, uses glamor to avoid getting called out about not taking care of it

- Horrifically optimistic

- Always has leaves and dirt and sticks etc in his hair

- Will sit out in the rain for hours on end

- Follow up on the last hc, he's been struck by lightning.. twice

- Actually has really heavy eyebags but uses glamor to cover them up

- Gets bored super easily

- Has naturally long lashes, Mei is still convinced he's wearing makeup though

- Cannot cook for the life of him

- His memories are always in shades of gold, no ones sure if it hasn't something to do with his gold vision or not, even himself, he just can't remember things in normal colour

- Stress induced migraines from the circlet

- Not a fan of big cities but loves how the lights look at night

- Stacks of notebooks and loose paper, cannot keep anything organized

- Takes a nap everyday at exactly 2:38 without fail

- Freezes in the winter, man's house has no insulation whatsoever

- Doesn't like big crowds but also can't stand not being the center of attention

- Once picked fleas out of both MK's and his own hair and ate them, MK was and still is disgusted, he will never look at Monkey King the same way again

- Smells like Peaches (it's like the only fucking thing he eats)

- Love language is physical touch

- Kinda chubby (mostly around his stomach and thighs) but still has muscles

- Always teasing Redson about the fact that he's technically his uncle since he and DBK are sworn brothers, he finds Redson's overreactions to it funny but is secretly kinda hurt that Redson doesn't think of him as family anymore (He use to when he was a little kid but stopped seeing Wukong as family after he sealed DBK away. They've started to try and mend their relationship after the events of season 4, it's slow but it's progress)

- Sometimes the monkey's on FFM will come into his house through the windows at night to sleep with him for comfort

- Really bad with technology but pretends he's just too good for the internet so he can avoid using it without looking old

- He/Him

- Bisexual

- Says his "S"'s really sharply

- If you ask him anything about himself he'll give you a different answer to the exact same question everytime (he thinks it makes him mysterious,  it does not)

- Lower lid eyeliner >>>

- If you say something stupid or weird he'll just stare judgingly until you take it back

- Actually lost his mind when he found out what blowing bubbles were

- Drinks tea with an ungodly amount of sugar

- Chronic eye pain + headaches. It's gotten significantly better over the years but.. yk, eye gouged out

- Has a deeply relaxing voice, strangely enough

- Has tried to compliment people before but it always ends up coming off as an insult

- Classical music or heavy rock, no in-between

- It is literally impossible to take a bad picture of him

- Puts his hair up in a bun whe he doesn't wanna deal with it

- Has patches of freeze burns from LBD, along his right side (mostly just his arm).

- Theater kid

- Rose tea enjoyer

- Likes to bake sometimes and frequently exchanges recipes with Pigsy and DBK

- Like to watch the sunrise and sunset

- Hates being out in the sun too long, not having a shaded area nearby for an easy escape stresses him

- Will stare out the window while it rains, Mei once said he looked like he was pretending to be in a cringey early 2010 music video

- Hard of hearing, his six ears are very sensitive and all the fighting and screaming has definitely done some damage to them by now

- Follow up on the last HC, despite being hard of hearing he will either absolutely refuse to wear hearing aids, or will wear them (albeit begrudgingly) but cover them with glamor

- Septum and snake bite piercings he got during his emo phase

- Smells like grapes, don't ask

- Love language is quality time, he doesn't care to actually have a conversation, though, he's fine just sitting in comfortable silence

- Will use his shadow transport for the dumbest things when he's lazy, like teleporting the TV remote to him if it's on the other side of the couch, teleport a bag of chips from the pantry to him in his bedroom,  etc

- Room is covered in scented candles

- Sandy has invited him over to work out some of his problems multiple times, he doesn't really care to open up though, he just goes for the cats (Sandy let's him)

- His hair is always soft and he refuses to tell anyone what he washes with, MK has asked multiple times and he gets a different, vague answer everytime

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

Sulani: Evening

(Written for @akitasimblr's Mad About Dodo Challenge ❤️ This got very long. I cannot do short lines of dialogue that convey so much like some of you out there :x The last two paragraphs are the only ones that matter)

(Also I owe a lot to @dead-lights for her interpretation of Darrel. Thank you for giving him so may layers!)

GEMMA: So. Why are we here? DARREL: I know why I’m here. The question is, why are you here? GEMMA: Ah, c’mon man. Sulani. The cushiest and most exclusive resort on the whole island. Even more cushy and exclusive now that they’re filming Mad About Dodo. DARREL: Mad about what now? Mundanes still believe that they exist?

GEMMA: No, you doofus. Only the hottest reality tv show in the Simsverse. And Dodo Harper is the bachelor. DARREL: The twin of He Who Shall Not Be Named?

GEMMA: Now look around us. It’s a beautiful sunset. About to be a beautiful night. Why do you darken my day by bringing up that turd and his pro-vampire propaganda piece? DARREL: That’s usually my line. GEMMA: And it was totally when he was banging that one lady fanger too. Why do you masc type Sims have to go and lose any mote of common sense the instant you get your wands wet- DARREL: Gemma.

GEMMA: Okay, you have a little more sense than the rest of them. I’ll give you that. In fact, some days I think that you were born with a broomstick shoved so far up your arse that Emilia’s still pulling the fragments out- DARREL: Gemma.

GEMMA: So prove me otherwise by letting your absolute favouritist sister stay with you while you’re here for work? Pretty please? I’ll even cook you dinner. DARREL: I can Delicioso my own dinner. So can you. GEMMA: But then it won’t be made with love. Pleaaaase?

DARREL: Alright. Fine. But only because I know that you’ll get into worse mischief if I say no. GEMMA: A gentleman and a scholar! DARREL: Back on the premises no later than eleven o’clock. And if I’m out for the night, you’ll stay with Duane Talla and his caregivers. GEMMA: You’re the best! 

Somewhere nearby, a loading screen blips, deposits a Sim on the nearby shore (he never even got peanuts on his ride). A Wildfang emerges.

LOU: Well, hey. Had no idea I’d be working with spellcaster royalty. If I’d known, I’d have taken a longer wolf bath before boarding the loading screen. DARREL: Great. My associate is a Wildfang. GEMMA: Darrel, be cool. Don’t mind my brother. He doesn’t actually hate werewolves. DARREL: I don’t. I’m wary of them. No offence. GEMMA: He just miscast a spell one day and his face has been frozen like that ever since. So sad.

DARREL: I did not miscast a spell. GEMMA: Whatever. I however am a werewolf ally. LOU: I can tell by the lack of tense moodlets on you. Awoo! DARREN: How does that even apply when you’re not transformed?

LOU: For you, baby? I can transform. GEMMA: Don’t bother. He’s engaged and not the slightest bit interested in that throuple update coming to base game. Though he supports it in principle. DARREN: Yeah. See this finger?

LOU: Bro. Wrong finger. And that was hurtful. DARREN: Ah plum. Look, I’m just juggling a lot at the moment with the wedding and an upcoming trial- GEMMA: He’s going to be a Master Caster… DARREN: And for all I know, you’re a decent enough guy. But when I was told that I’d be working with a werewolf, I was expecting someone with more of a… reputation for polish and professionalism. Someone from the Collective, maybe.

GEMMA: Guys, it will be fine. This big secret thing that you’re not telling me, that is. Maybe you can start over by trading hair care tips? Even though Darrel only has the second best ‘do of all the spellcasters. DARREN: Ember has to be using some kind of untamed magic. I just know it. Therefore it doesn’t count. LOU: Hey, your locks are truly luscious, man. Could totally smell the keratin the second I got off the loading screen. DARREN: Oh, really? Thank you. It’s my-

GEMMA: And it could be worse. At least you’re not working with Vladdy Daddy... [mimes the creep walk] All three laugh. 

Here, however, comes someone who is not laughing. In fact, had she French kissed a lemon beforehand, you would probably describe her expression as ‘joyous’ next to the one she’s currently wielding.

ROSAMUND: Pleased to see that you have already found each other. But why am I addressing a child? My directives were clear. This is a potential business meeting, not a summer camp.

GEMMA: Child? You know, gameplay mechanics allow me to do all the things that a young adult can do. Even perform caregiving duties on an infant, only I don’t get any parenting skill boost from it. Do you ever think about that? No, you only ever think about yourselves. LOU: That’s so unfair. GEMMA: [fake sniff] I know! ROSAMUND: We can discuss the rights of the disenfranchised Thriftea generation later. Shall we sojourn to somewhere more private? LOU: [to Gemma] Hey, she’s got that kind of knack where she phrases something like it’s a request. Only it’s anything but a request- TOGETHER: I stan.

ROSAMUND: So. Is there an adult present with whom I may converse?

DARREN: That would be me. And not simply by default, though I can understand you having that impression. ROSAMUND: Yes. You come highly recommended at least. Please. Have a seat.

GEMMA: So, Wildfang. What news of this gig? What do your wolf ears perceive? LOU: A Lord of the Swings reference. I dig it. GEMMA: Something about Mad About Dodo? LOU: Oh my Watcher, I am obsessed! When that hot mean girl type was all set to Black Widow challenge Vlad- GEMMA: Not all heroes wear capes! LOU: And then that sweet shy twink finally got to shoot his shot at the WowWow hut! GEMMA: Total OTPness! LOU: Oh, but then that one dude drowned.

GEMMA: Which at first I thought was funny because I was like ‘people, chill, there’s a spell for that dot com?’ But then I remembered that everyone on that show is a mundane, probably because "Mister Vampire War Crimes Apologist" wants to be able to torture all the truly helpless Sims without any pushback or accountability or something. LOU: Plum, I hate that dick.  GEMMA: So then I felt bad for thinking that it was funny? Since they don’t know what we know. And Dodo was crying over his tombstone and shit.

LOU: Yeah, that was rough but like, don’t feel bad. Our first reaction to anything ever is all down to social conditioning, you know? You reframed the situation in your own mind with hindsight and that’s what’s important. GEMMA: Thank you. LOU: I got you. Anyways. The tea is that her daughter’s on the show and she’s not happy. GEMMA: Oh my Watcher, I knew that she looked familiar! She has to be - TOGETHER: [scooby doo villain reveal tone] - Minty’s Mom!!! GEMMA: And Minty almost died too. No wonder Lady Muck-Muck here looks like she just stepped in a three hundred year old corpse. LOU: Yeah, I would be Blood Moon Rising level Furious if it was my pup. [whispers even quieter] But as well as ‘a’ mommy, she’s also Mommy, am I right? GEMMA: Totally Mommy. Though I’m still a teenager so I don’t have those moodlets about anyone above my age group yet. LOU: Don’t worry. I’ve got enough for the both of us.

ROSAMUND: Let neither of us disrespect the other by wasting their time. What do you know of untamed magic? DARREL: About five thousand simoleons worth more than what you’re currently offering. ROSAMUND: A risky venture and you must be compensated accordingly for your labour. Understood. DARREL: You’ve obviously done your research. You know then that we Charms are an old spellcaster family and we don’t need the money. And neither are we the types to dispense cheap party tricks for hire. [glances over at Gemma] Well, those of us who are of age anyway. I want to know that you’re serious about this. ROSAMUND: Oh, I most certainly am. And I can afford to be still more serious than five thousand additional simoleons. I can be very serious indeed. DARREL: Let’s discuss particulars then, yeah?

ROSAMUND: Yes, let’s. Mister Howl and Ms. Charm, downstairs you will find a bar, a dance floor and some credit in your names. LOU: [to Gemma] Don’t worry, I got you. ROSAMUND: You will also find a bartender under strict instructions not to serve alcohol to any minors, and to blacklist anyone who provides alcohol to said minors. LOU: Curses, foiled again!

[shoukiko]

My Simon "Ghost" Riley headcanons

Throws up this and runs away. No cuz fr, I don't know how else to share this other than just *BLEH* *Runs* plz enjoy (I hope my boyfriend doesn't see) Word Count: 688 Fandom: Call of Duty Modern Warefare Purely sfw!!!!!!

I see so many people talk about him like he's this cold insecure guy, not for me, he has so much confidence and loves showing off especially in front of you. Soap showing you some dumb trick he can do with a knife? Ghost wil 100% come in like "Oh yea, watch this?" and do something 10x cooler. He catches you watching some guy on YouTube mincing some veggies really fast? Ghost will practice in his free time and randomly come to you like "Come, I wanna show you what I can do" and then make you watch him mince veggies. Anytime you take a selfie he has to photo bomb it in the back with him flexing or a peace sign, he's jsut silly like that.

Bro cannot cook for shit. He burns everything so he sticks with microwaved meals or a sausage on a stove (courtesy of this post) If he's cooking and you're around he will look to you with a desperate face and say something like "Help me out, yeah? Cmon"

TOUCHING!!!!!! LOVE LANGUAGE IS TOUCHING!!!!!! He NEEDS to be touching you in some way. Sitting on a couch, but someone is in between you and him? He has his arm reaching out behind them to touch your hair/shoulder. He's laying down with you sitting up? His feet are under your thighs. He loves touching you in way that aren't super obvious, but when you're alone he needs to be holding you in some way.

I like to think he plays video games on his free time. Maybe not like Minecraft (He would definitely play if you asked him) but more like FPS games cuz he knows he'd be good. (He also has a banger set up that he's really proud of, he'd build you a PC if you asked)

If you guys are just friends/long distance, you'd talk to him over Discord, maybe you have a server with him. (And perhaps Soap and Gaz....Price too old :3) He would ping you like "@name I wanna play a game, play with me." and you you didn't respond fast enough, he would spam ping until you answer cuz he's desperate for your attention.

He likes to look at you, whenever you call him he will instantly switch to a video call so he can see your face, but he's the tyep to not pay attention and only show his forehead because of how he holds his phone. Maybe on discord before you play he asks you to turn your camera on and when you don't wanna he hangs up and refuses to join back. (Cuz hes a big baby)

Back rubs, giving and recieving....need I say more

He made an instagram/twitter/whatever you use, just to follow you. He only ever follows you until Gaz or Soap beg him for a follow, Price again doesn't really care for it. He likes all of your posts, including the cringey ones. If you post selfies and get compliments, he'd reply to someone saying "Get in line" or "They're taken, fuck off with ya"

His texts are short, but you can tell how he really means it, he's better with actual words than texts because he likes being able to look at your reactions. Things like "You wanna get some takeaway? I can order you something, what would you like?" Will turn into "Food, yea?" in text.

He'd let you paint his nails, would go around showing people what his "Lovie" did to him. He'd also be surprisingly good at painting yours, steady hands~

"Hey, Ghost" "Simon." "What?" "You heard me."

He likes playfighting, maybe you're standing next to him and he'll randomly shove you just to get a reaction, he finds it cute.

If you own a pet, it loves him, but he doesn't love the shedding. Ruins his edgy look.

He cares, but he shows it quietly so he doesn't embarrass you in any way. If you're crying, he'll come to you and give you a soft headpat, or rub your back. He won't say anything until after you've calmed down That's all for now~~ I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I do!! If you want more PLEASE TELL ME I WILL DELIVER!!!!!

[floppydiskettess]

YORU SFW ALPHABET

a/n: hi nobody requested this but i have been reading those alphabet fics and i was so sad to find out that there were none (sfw) for yoru!!!! i figured i would make my own (maybe cypher next-)

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

acts of service! he is not the best at words and worries he will say something wrong...so it is much easier for him to do tasks for you to show you that he cares.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

you would have a friendship similar to his with jett and phoenix! the only difference is the two of them notice you and yoru hanging out much more outside of their friend gatherings...

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

he really likes cuddles but only in certain settings...if you are in bed or if you are lounging on a couch or chair. he doesn't really enjoy standing up cuddles? he would mostly be big spoon (to keep his pride) but he really enjoys being small spoon. being held comforts him a lot. he loves to bury his head into the back of your shoulder or your chest.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

house husband bro...im telling you. this man will cook, clean, everything. he isn't the best at words, so doing things for his lover is a much better way for him to show his affection.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

he would probably try to be gentle, but come off as harsh. he really isn't good with his words.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

he probably never thought about it before, heck he probably didn't expect anyone to love him. if someone brought it up though he would probably SPIRAL. like shit do i marry them? what would life be like? do they want me..??. If you wanted to commit to each other, he would be thrilled. If not, thats alright too! As long as he has you by his side.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

despite being the "badboy" agent, you bring out the gentle side to him. he won't act like it around others or with anyone else though. but he is very gentle and caring in private towards you.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

he really doesn't like PDA but in private he is all for hugs! he loves sleepy cuddles and casually slinging an arm around your waist or shoulders when your sitting together. he is definitely touch starved...his hugs are suprisingly soft. physical touch makes him vulnerable and emotional. he probably would tense up at the beginning (not out of discomfort, out of suprise.) but slowly grow fond of it.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

he would accidentally say it. it would just slip out in the moment. he would have been trying to keep it in, scared of seeming too eager. but in one moment all he can think about is how much he loves you. after he knows it is reciprocated, he will be saying it a lot.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

oh this man in JEALOUS..he absolutely hates when chamber flirts with you, he cannot stand it. you probably have to hold him back from soing something he regrets...

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

he loves kissing wherever he can reach. if you're cuddling? he is planting soft kisses to the back of your shoulder and neck. anywhere else though he enjoys (giving and recieving!) a simple kiss on the lips, cheek, or forehead. he is very gentle with you, but if you are in public and chamber is around however? he won't hesitate to roughly kiss you to get him to back off.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

he is probably uncomfortable at first, but ince he adjusts he is a big softie. he usually scares the children away but if they are not scared it makes him feel really happy inside. he definitely loves to play with them and does magic tricks using his rifts.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

extremely soft, like tooth rottingly sweet. morning with him are the best, he is clingy in the morning and will be buried in your chest. expect lots of kisses, cuddles, and sweet whispers. but don't mention this to the other agents though, he does have a reputation to keep up after all.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

quiet but loving! similar to mornings but he is much less outwardly affectionate. he will try to sneakily attempt to get physical affection (he doesn't want to admit he wants it.). when you decide to wind down for the night, he will lay down next to you and hold you gently. (its just because its cold, trust...)

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

it would take him a while, he is a pretty guarded person after all. but once he knows he can trust you he will quickly open up to you one thing at a time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

depends the situation...with you? rarely. he has never gotten genuinly mad at you. with chamber or some of the other agents? ehh....he isn't the most patient with them. he definitely won't hesitate to make snippy comments towards them if they really deserve it..

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

lets be honest, he probably will forget quite a bit. but if in passing he remembers a small thing you said he will be delighted to see your pleased reaction.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

your first mission together. he truly got to admire your skills and was wntranced by your abilities.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

he is protective as all hell. you are rarely put on a mission without him due to it. what if you were hurt and nobody was around?? if you were on a mission without him he would be anxiously pacing the whole time. he would lock himself in your room and worry that you were lying on the ground injured somewhere...due to this behaviour sage began insisting to brimstone that he is put on the same missions mostly, otherwise he would drive himself crazy.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

he would put a lot of effort in, but if you were to confront him about it he would deny everything. he doesn't want you to know how much he cares for you.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

his ego (obviously.). sometimes when he is feeding his ego, he may say something that brings you or other people down unknowingly. but if you tell him about it he will immediately feel bad and apologize. he has no intention to hurt you, he just sometimes doesn't watch what he says..

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

he cares a LOT. he is definitely the type to preen himself when he recieves a compliment. he has a big ego LOL. he absolutely adores getting compliments from you, it fuels his ego a little but he always feels a warm feeling when recieving a genuine compliment

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

he was always used to being alone before he met you, but ever since you came he has grown dependent on having someone close to him regularly. if he lost you...he wouldnt know if he could handle being alone once again..

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

he definitely had a small crush on phoenix at some point, he absolutely hates that he did. you definitely tease him about it LOL

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

arrogant people...he may have a big ego but he cannot stand when people berate others.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

he sometimes accidentally opens a rift in his sleep, he also definitely sleep swears.

as always tysm for reading!!! the amount of support on these is mindboggling omg :))!!! (ps, im working on some requests rn 👍)

[hunterwritesstuff]

General dating hcs for builderman?

Sure! Gonna do a mix of hcs and dating hcs, canonically in the AU, he's married, so there's gonna be heavily implied Heavenly Builds. Don't get huffy about it. I'm not changing my AUs canon for you. Sorry. /nm

(Divider by @lunaridae)

🔨 He's a very gentle guy! His hands are always gentle, very good for pats!(and other things /silly)

🔨 He has a verry soft voice! His morning voice gets Orion feeling some type of way bro,,,

🔨 He gives good hugs! Very strong arms mean firmer hugs!

🔨 He WILL pick up whoever he cares about!! He likes swinging them around in a hug!!

🔨 He gives Orion wakeup kisses every morning!! It is part of his routine!! If he does not smooch his hubby, he cannot get out of bed until he does!!

🔨 He always makes sure to get up before Orion so he can(try) to make breakfast for the two of them!

🔨 He usually doesn't succeed too well, but he can always make bacon pretty well!

🔨 He makes sure Orion takes care of his scars and takes his meds, as any good husband does! :D

🔨 He WILL get huffy with Orion if he doesn't take care of his scars or take his meds. He's not afraid to put his foot down.(Orion secretly finds Builder INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE when he gets serious, SOMEBODY HELP HIM.)

🔨 He downright ADORES cute little dates! Coffee shops, dinner out, furniture shopping, mall dates, theater dates, Hell, even nights in watching TV! He just wants to spend time with his angel!

🔨 Nicknames he uses on Orion: Buttercup, Love, Angel, Birdie, Darling, Beloved, Little Love, Dove, Sugar, Sweetheart, Honeypie, Honey, Hon, stuff like that!(He's. very affectionate in the day-to-day)

🔨 His love languages are gift giving, cooking(even if he's not the best at it), words of affirmation, touch, and acts of service! :D

🔨 He'd also do quality time, but he gets a little too busy for that unfortunately :(

🔨 He DOES call Orion on his lunchbreaks, however!! Always tries to check in and make sure his hubby's doing okay and hasn't gone back to bed!!

🔨 Before he and Orion got married, he'd just. gush about how cute Orion was to Shedletsky(Shed agreed to this), and he sounded like such a golden retriever bro 😭

🔨 "John, John, John!!! Did I tell you about this one time he SMILED AT ME??? OOH!! OR-OR-OR WHEN HE COOED AT ME??? OR-OR-OR-John? Why're you laughing?"

🔨 "Because you're speaking like a lovestruck idiot, David!"

🔨"Ohh...studs..."

🔨 Definitely a flirt when it comes to Orion! He WILL fluster him if it's the last thing he does!!

🔨 He ADORES listening to Orion's heartbeat! Because HE DID THAT!!! HE KICKSTARTED THAT!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW FRIGGIN' COOL THAT IS???

🔨 He definitely helped Orion with keeping his wings in pristine condition!

🔨 After the incident, he apologized endlessly for not being able to help more and help him keep his wings.

🔨 When he was taken, he worried that Orion would blame himself.

🔨 Little did he know, Orion did.

🔨 He never blamed Orion. He knows Orion needed his sleep.

🔨 He would never blame him...not for this...

🔨 All he needs to do is stay alive for him.

🔨 He finds a way to write little poems for Orion while imprisoned, it's the least he could do.

🔨 All in all, he's very loving to his husband as much as he can be!!

🔨 Also, like, he'll sometimes bring plushies home when he comes home from work for Orion. He knows what his Husband loves.

[to-thelakes]

We keep saying Luke is a simp for reader (he is) but it's the other way around as well. Reader loves baking things for Luke and making him lunches for office days. They also make sure he gets enough hydration and even packs cute notes in his bag for motivation

i was just about to go to sleep but OH. MY. GOD. YES THEY ABSOLUTELY WOULD

like baking his favourite cookies?? YES! speaking to his mami and finding out what his favourite foods were as a kid and cooking them, YEAH they'd do that for him.

literally reader would simp just as hard if not HARDER for luke, they would do literally anything to keep him happy, it's insane, and i love the idea of them making him lunches for when he goes to the office, he makes them a lot of the time but if they know that he's tired, they'll make his favourite or a comfort food and they'll give him some freshly baked cookies (and one for garcia to) which quickly devolves in them baking for the entire team bc their cookies are the best (i see u jj, going after the cookies)

but if he is the one that makes his lunch, that doesn't mean his partner won't sneak a note in so that he can giggle and smile over it while he's at the office. it's usually just something short and sweet, an i love you or you look cute today but sometimes it's a little longer and when she knows he's been having a rough week she writes a longer note talking about how much she loves him and telling him that they're gonna go do something together whenever he has his next free weekend

like the reader has endless patience with his job and they adore him so so so much, would literally do anything to make him smile and if he's had a really long day in the office, he comes back to find that they invited themselves over, already took roxy for a walk for him and gave her dinner bc luke was back late and then they are cooking while roxy watches them and he's just so in love

and the reader would just do little things, gift him a new book that he's been wanting, check when the release of games he wants to play are so she can make sure he can play them on the day of release and not have to worry about anything else, sometimes they'll even do research on the games to make sure that they know everything and if they're over while luke is playing and he is stuck on a level, they'll watch a couple of playthroughs in secret and then give subtle hints to get him through the level

like he is a gamer bro but he's the big soft cuddly gamer bro and he will play his games but if you text him that you've had a bad day or need to cry, he will drop everything and come to you. you would do the same for him

it's such a soft cute relationship and ugh, okay, i really need to go sleep now but the thoughts of mr luke alvez are constant especially in my ill-state, i cannot escape him, i want him to give me soup and take care of me and scare the doctors into listening to me xx

[fushitoru]

HIIII AASHI <33 okay i'm like 3 days late on when i meant to send this but work kicked my actual ASS when i got back 🫠 but I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL <33 i feel like i've missed so much it's wild

OKAY OKAY so my entire flight back i binge read spiderman!gojo and bridgerton!gojo chap 6 you absolutely fed me on my flight back it was peak tbh and now i'm here to YAP so apologies in advance

the ANGSTTT in chapter 6 girl!! delicious i ate it up. choso is such a good brother and SUKUNAAA i'm so excited to see more of him

the conflict with reader's mom is so real i felt the fear 🙂‍↕️ she scares me like she's my own family asjfdjlkhg the angry silence would kill me bless yuji he's such a sweetheart. i absolutely love the dynamic between reader and her brothers and did i mention how excited i am for more sukuna?? i love the idea of reader's defiant and independent side coming from being super close to him growing up

and UGHH gojo!! like i GET what he's trying to do but reader is SOO valid for telling him off like boy that is NOTTT the way to go about it 😩

bridgerton au my beloved...... you absolutely cooked as always

OHHHH AND SPIDERMAN!GOJO?? aashi genuinely one of my all time fave fics i have ever read like you captured how i think gojo would be as spiderman PERFECTLY like the conflicting emotions of his responsibility and just wanting to be a student and have a normal life and love someone :((( he's so cute and i love the academic rivalry SO MUCH

like okay their little meet-cute?? ADORABLE. reader being petty and making the sweetest drink ever for him and he's so smitten already i was kickin' my feet smiling to myself the pining is SOOO good

him with his gaming laptop playing on cool math games 😭 he's such a dork i literally love him sm like the way he simultaneously is so easily confident and cocky but he's also so smart and nerdy you literally perfected that balance and he's just so lovable

AND THE ATMOSPHERE like the way you capture new york and spiderman and the SPIDER KISS i yelled

him showing up to reader's window all beaten up 😭 he's too precious like pls give this man a HUG he deserves the world he's trying SO HARD i just wanna wrap him up in blankets and keep him safe

also gojo using webs to bind reader's wrists PLEASE that's genius he absolutely would and it's so hot i have so many horny brain thoughts that aren't meant to see the light of day 🥴 literally perfection i need him so badly

ANYWAY sorry for the novel i hope you're doing well ily bb <33

- @starmapz

HIIIII TRISHHHH ILY POOKIE HOW R U?? ik its been a while since you sent in this ask but AHH this made me so happy :3

im so glad you had a safe flight <3 dude i feel like if i had reader's mom i would spontaneously combust like that shit would be so anxiety inducing...and UGH gojo is a bitch that's scared of feelings. bro thinks he's gonna die if he enters a love marraige what a fucking dumbass

AHHH OH MY GOD your spiderman!gojo thoughts are making me SQUEAL thank you thank you i thought the academic rivalry was gonna feel so awkward and like i squished it in there but im glad you like it :333

but im SORRY im so srs if he was alive in 2024 and was gen z you canNOT tel me he wouldn't be some cool math games loser that plays minesweeper during lecture like....unfortunately i am obsessed with gen z-ifying my millienial gay twink king

OMG yes do share those horny thoughts >:) i just want him soooo bad.

I AM GOOD i hope you are doing well too it seems you've been busy with work lately and i hope you're taking the time to take care of yourself!!!!

[tojiscrack]

HELLO WIFEY IM BACK.

before i go to our regularly scheduled shitbag content, LETS TAKE A MOMENT FOR THE NEW CHAPTER OF LIAR LIAR???

HELLO I LOVED IT SMMMMMM

I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA! i cannot wait to see the future dynamics that come from this

ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT

i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy. even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM.

but i was very glad that megumi is starting to show more interest in her semi romantically.

now if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it.

for legal reasons, this is a joke.

I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!

now back to our regularly schedule programming.

'like you seem sceptical but it’s not BAD 😫'

uh huh... sure... tbf i dont like beans

'i’ve never tried a desi breakfast ☹️ but i don’t doubt that it tastes great! it looks really good too 👀'

it's so yummy

'DON’T BE SURPRISED WHEN I SLIDE INTO UR DMS INTERROGATING YOU ABOUT THE AMERICAN GRADING SYSTEM 😫🫶🏽'

YES OMGGGGGGG I GOTCHUUUU

'but i just don’t think shin ramen is for me'

NONONO U CANT MIX THINGS UP THE FIRST TIME U TRY IT!!!

lemme put u onto a recipe

so, ur gonna just cook the noodles from the shin ramen with about a cup and a half of water. then, ur gonna take a bit of that water and add it to some peanut butter. hey hey hey stay with me now. trust my process. then, mix in the seasoning packet. and then add it to the noodles and let it simmer for a tiny bit of time. AND THEN BAM. banger noodles.

'ok but we also know that kay comes into my inbox every other day to chat shit about you 🌝'

this is the most british sentence ive seen in my life BUT YES U ARE RIGHT

'me personally, i think you should cut him off completely 😬 block button is free + he has a gf so i think just out of respect for that (even if he himself doesn’t respect that) you should do ur part by untangling urself from any of that 🫡'

see the issue here is, before we had our situationship, he was my guy best friend. and we have MANY mutual friends and are in tons of gc together. it just wouldn't work out to block him. thats the rlly annoying part.

'HOW IS HE EVEN PULLING YOU AND THAT OTHER GIRL?? 😭'

I HAVE NO CLUE. IT'S TERRIBLE

'start ur life anew (without him) and let him wonder how his life would’ve been sm better with you in it if he had treated you right and been a better person 😋'

I WISH BRO

'i’d hate to see how you’d behave with a girl you DON’T like 💀'

lowk bro acts the same LMAOOO

also i realized this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex LMAOOO

'however, you should never rely on a man for his money, being financially dependent is a necessity'

oh of course not queen. i am a cs baddie on the rise. we both go to a college prep school. relying on him for money was never an option 😋😋😋😋

'everyone’s too busy caring about themselves to do anything about it :)'

our grade is so tiny we have nothing better to do than talk ab other ppl i fear....

and when i say our grade is tiny, i mean it. like most public schools have graduating classes of like

ehh 500 or so.

our graduating class is going to be 70 people.

'not until you wipe ur mouth from that indirect kiss from that THING you call a man 😐'

I STARTED CACKLING HELLO

'tojis bumcrack ‘cause i find that hilarious HAHAHA 😭😭'

YES OMG THATS WHAT I WAS HOPING IT WAS

'‘cause we’re exchanging cute nicknames but then he’s come back to ruin it :/'

i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story 😋😋😋

'DO NOT INVITE HIM TO UR PARTY 🌝'

THE ISSUE IS IVE TOLD HIM AB IT A LOT....

so the new shitbag lore is that

in a gc i have w him and some of my close friends, i was complaining about not having a bf and how i want one so bad.

and i get a call. i do not see who it is. i assume it's my mother bc it's late at night and i'm making too much noise. i answer the phone.

it's shit bag.

he turns the call into a ft and screenshares our school's directory, asking me what i think of every guy on the thing.

i think he's trying to set me up with one of them.

we narrow it down to the only two guys in my grade i'd consider being even slightly attracted to.

he decides to add a third guy to this list.

for this, there is more lore u must know.

back when me and shitbag were just bsfs, i rlly liked one of shitbag's friends. lets call him niceguy. niceguy, like his name, was rlly nice and rlly funny. and i've known him since 2nd grade bc we went to the same elementary and middle school.

and i started liking niceguy this summer bc i worked with him at a summercamp. it was lots of fun. and i ended up inviting him to my bday party and he came and we got a picture tgth which ended up being rlly cute.

i would talk to shitbag a lot ab niceguy, asking for advice and shit.

and then one day, i am looking through my phone. and at this point, we had our homecoming dance within 2 weeks of the present day. and i was rlly hoping niceguy would ask me bc we texted a lot and talked a lot in person. and a lot of ppl rlly thought he might like me back.

but as i'm going through instagram, i see his story is him, one of my not so close friends, and a hoco proposal sign.

i am torn. i am distraught. i have a 4 hour ft call with shitbag to discuss it.

and niceguy and the friend i'm not so close with start dating from that day forward.

after a month or so, they break up.

and that is why, shitbag wants me to add niceguy back to the list.

where was i going with this? uhhhh... oh right. so shitbag ended up fting me for too damn long going through our directory.

and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)

and i havent texted him since!

now, on better news. i am currently replaying mystic messenger. i do not know if u know this game but i played it when iw as 13 and i am feeling very nostalgic as of late so i had to hop back on the game. i am having much fun and i think this is part of the reason why i havent been texting shitbag back.

god bless for fictional men!

anyways how is your life going wifey?

i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!

LMAOOO

bye pookie

HI HI HELLO <3

‘I AM SO GLAD THAT GOJO CLOCKED SUKUNA'S TEA!’ — can you tell i’m a very biased gojo stan? 😋‼️ sukuna lovers are in enemy territory rn i’m jk, like yeah i hate that thing with a PASSION, but idc if you love no-neck-ed LMAOO

‘ALSO Y/N SITTING ON GOJO'S SHOULDERS IS SO ADORABLE I LOVED IT’ — i HAD to implement dadjo in the series bc as much as his relationship with the characters in canon was more like a fun older brother looking out for his students, he’s so father coded, specifically during the exchange event in s1 of jjk 😫 like his behaviour was sooo embarrassing-dad-supporting-his-kids (and the fit looked delicious like yum yum i’m eating well tonight 😁)

‘i was also so grateful to not have to read kamo speak in this chapter. brought me much joy’ — HELP HE’S JUST A GUY WITH A CRUSH 😭 the kamo hate is so funny yet i feel so bad for him 💀 but keep ‘em coming, it still lowkey brings me joy HAHAHA

‘even tho Y/N'S BITCH ASS WAS SPENDING TOO MCUH TIME WITH HIM’ — girl any more of the y/n criticism from you and i’m gonna start to think you hate our poor mc 🫵🏽😟🫷🏽

but just to be clear, it was just a tutoring session with kamo. they weren’t hanging-out-hanging-out, iygwim?

‘if you tear this away from me, i will hunt you down and shiv you when you least expect it’ — 🌝

i’ve been keeping my windows and doors locked SINCE the malakai hate train started a couple months ago, ‘cause i knew that if that poor emo kid was getting hate ‘cause of a random ANON who started shipping him and y/n (they’ve still yet to reveal themselves 🤨) then the kamo hate would rise astronomically from the very same ppl 😭

now with that threat, i humbly remind you of the ‘angst’ tag 🌝 no comment on anything after that

‘for legal reasons, this is a joke’ — i sURE HOPE SO??? 😭

‘I AM SO VERY EXCITED FOR FUTURE CHAPTERS!!!!’ — IAISNWISNWIEJ ME TOO, but unfortunately, at some point from here and up until june, there are gonna be super slow updates :( i’ll address that another time tho! <3

now for the rest of the askkk :)

there’s a problem with ur shin ramen recipe…

i am (unfortunately) a very picky eater. and i hate peanut butter ☹️ but you probably already guessed that with the ‘hey hey hey stay with me now’ 🥴 i’m sorry, peanut butter is vile

shin ramen is just not for me ig 🥲

now as for shitbag… ik you mention that you guys have mutual friends and are in several gc’s tgth, so maybe blocking him is just not possible here, but giving him clipped responses when he texted and declining face-times is very much possible, i believe 😁 get away from that sad excuse of a human being kay, PLS

like you can text him when he texts you first (the italics here are important) but make sure they’re very simple responses, nothing he can use as an opportunity to build on. and 4hr face-times are a nO NO.

absolutely no.

he has a gf, you are not his gf, and even if you DESPISE who he’s currently with, be the better person and leave it 😭

there! problem solved! 😋

‘also i realised this today but part of the reason why i think he didnt tell me ab him and his ex getting back tgth is he knew i HATED his ex’ — hmmm, this tells me a lot about him already 💀 i’m sorry kay, i do NOT like this imposter who-entered-earth-without-a-visa 😐

‘I STARTED CACKLING HELLO’ — HAHAHA 😭 i’m dead serious. i don’t like that guy. i even feel like ‘shitbag’ as a name for him is a compliment, if anything.

‘i think shitbag for u in my asks is like kamo for me in ur story😋😋😋’ — FREEZE 🤨🤚🏽

i don’t not support kamo hate, but i don’t support it either. and yet, this one sentence is the only kamo-hate-sentence that lowkey has me tweaking.

do not compare our respectful-nonchalant-dreadhead-kamo to that bin-juice-of-a-human-being-SHITBAG. EVER 🤢

‘so the new shitbag lore is that’ — STOP ✋🏽 HALT 🛑

did i forget to mention that i DETEST shitbag with my whole entire being?

‘and then i told him i was gonna go sleep (WHICH I WAS QUITE PROUD OF BC WHEN I LIKED HIM, I WOULD STAY UP AND FT WHENEVER HE ASKED AND WOULD WAIT TIL HE WANTED TO SLEEP LMAOO)’ — CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 🥳 WE LOVE TO SEE IT

ok good, you’re not longer texting that unique-breed-of-human-kind, got my first point out of the way real quick. don’t ever text him unless he texts you

secondly, niceguy’s available. probably the only thing i agree with shitbag with. you should get with niceguy :)

my personal opinion that i have rooted to the core is to stay single forever and ever, marry fictional men and die in love with them, ‘cause that’s been my plan for as long as i can remember and look at me: no situationships, no drama, no SHITBAGS 🤭

‘now, on better news’ — YESSS

‘i do not know if you know this game’ — i’m not aware of it. even when i looked it up, i was a little confused haha. i was a moviestarplanet, stardoll, baby hazel, moshi monsters, bin weevils, purble place, club penguin, sarah’s cooking class, papa’s freezeria, pizzaria, hotdogaria (etc), roblox girly through and through 🥴

but i am super glad you are starting to find enjoyable things to look back on that take you away from the negative doom-cloud that is shitbag! 😙 idek you irl but that genuinely makes me so happy for youuuu <3

‘god bless for fictional men!’ — ameen 🌝

‘anyways how is your life going wifey?’ — ugh, don’t even get me started 😀 i’m living vicariously through you, honestly 😭

‘i think this may be the last of the shitbag updates so shorter asks coming soon!’ — THEY CAN STILL BE LONG, I LOVE HEARING ABOUT UR DAY AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW YOU, but i’m glad shitbag will no longer be the centre of our conversations (literally who does he think he is, starring as a mc in MY blog)

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAYYY ;)

[winderlylandchime]

2/2 Mikey is now at Brian’s loft: ‘mike, fix the mess you made. Poor Bri Bri, he looks so bad (he now paused the episode to laugh at Brian’s Chernobyl line. He is so easily impressed with Brian) mike..i doubt he will ever eat chicken soup, he barely eats. FOR FUCKS SAKE BRIAN STOP BEING A BITCH AND ACCEPT SOME HELP. *lets out an actual gasp* IS MIKEY GONNA STAND UP FOR JUSTIN?! TELL HIM MIKE! YES HE IS HIS LOVER! YES! FINALLY MIKE, THAT WAS A SHITTY WAY TO TREAT HIM! I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.’ Brian says Justin wouldve left anyway ‘what the fuck? Says who? He wouldnt leave you! I cant decide if this is his anger over cancer or what but dudeeeeee stop it! Go back to Justin, if not for you, do it for me’ And we are at Drew’s party ‘im sorry what did he just say? What a piece of shit. Spit in his food. Oooor talk to him..i guess that’s more mature. Yeah, tell this little bitch that he’s a little bitch!’ ‘Im sorry but i just doubt that Lindsay would miss these classes! I mean come on she was all insane over being a mom in the beginning? What is this bullshit? Its giving straight men vibe, you know what I mean?’ And we are at Mikey and Justins scene ‘COME ON BLONDIE STOP BEING STUBBORN AND GO TO OUR MAN! There is no way he’d just let him go like that when Brian is sick. This is bullshit. MIKE DO SOMETHING. (Justin says brian being sick doesnt concern him anymore and he pauses tv) what the fuck is this bullshit?! Nah. Maybe if something horrible happened, id get this. Id even get this during the *makes a grossed out face* ethan era but now? Fuck no. Our boyfriend has cancer and he’s just chill? After he cried and held him the way he did?! Who the fuck wrote this shit? *clicks play* TELL HIM MIKE! fucks sake Justin! Use your big brain! Exactly Mike! GO TO HIM JUSTIN, OH COME ON!!!’ And we are at lindsay and sam scene ‘oh for fucks sake. What is this bullshit and why do I have to suffer it? My baby Bri Bri is sick, my baby Blondie is being stubborn and not listening to me and they think I care about whatever this is.’ He just fake gagged and made a grossed out face to sam and lindsay hugging. And we are at Ben/Mike scene ‘you know what? I never thought id say this but Mike deserves better. He’s been so supportive of Ben and even kept quiet about his own success only for this dick to be a dick to him. I now like mike so he deserves better.’ And we are at Drew/Em scene!! ‘Ugh him again. Fuck you dude bro. Emmett be careful! Something is off about this guy. (Drew makes a move on Emmett) um..what is going on? THIS IS WHAT THAT JUSTIN AND BRIAN FIGHT SCENE WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE! Wait..what the fuck dude? I thought he was straight? Okay get it em..i think’ and back to Ben and his student ‘i dont like this shit. What the fuck is this shit? Why is everyone acting so fucking weird and stupid?’ ‘BRIAN! You’re supposed to be resting. He looks like shit. Bri, go home please and call Justin. *he giggled like a little kid* i like how Ted and I both call him Bri. Yes, go home and call JUSTIN FOR FUCKS SAKE! (Brian walks in his loft to Justin cooking) JUSTIN! BLONDIE IS HERE!!! HE MADE HIM SOUP! Brian stop being a bitch! YES BLONDIE TELL HIM. (justin snapped at Brian) OH MY GOD! TELL HIM BABY! YOU GO GIRL! EXACTLY HE CANT HANDLE THIS ON HIS OWN! YOU GO BABY! YEAH BRIAN WHY WOULD YOU THINK HED LEAVE! Babies, before this goes bad, how about none of us leave? *stands up and literally puts his hands in the air and claps* YES GET YOUR ASS BACK IN BED AND EAT CHICKEN SOUP! I guess he will eat soup. HA! Remember when Debbie said he met his match?’ He then paused on Britin in bed at the end and walked to the tv and pointed at it while looking at me and went ‘THIS! THIS IS ALL I WANT! Is that too much to ask for? Now give me the next episode!’

I cannot believe im about to say this but mikey..you might have officially made it off my shit list forever.

Forever is a long long time, I’m curious how he’s going to react to S5 Mikey…

Lindsay would absolutely not miss the birthing classes. That was so out of character. CowLip really did not care what they did with their lesbian representation.

Ben is such a shit in this whole storyline. Michael has the bad luck to be with men who seemingly like him partially because his career is less impressive than their (Dr. David I’m looking at you.) Toxic masculinity, you even infect the queer men.

Okay his entire reaction to the chicken soup line (YOU GO GIRL) just made my night.

Brian did meet his match in Justin. That’s why they are OTP.

[celiastjamesoscar]

😭 Grace now you have put me into an impossible situation! For your sake I truly hope he won't include you into his slides but for my own selfish reason and twisted amusement I'm silently praying that he'll sneak in a picture of you... I'm so sorry but the senior trip one was so hilarious and adorable that I'm sure other ones will be just as awesome!

YES MY DARLING GIRL, YOU DID SO WELL!! The format change doesn't even matter, you finished the paper quickly and BEFORE THE DEADLINE!!! WELL DONE HONEY!

WHAT?? STINKY 😭 OH no, poor baby boy. Is he doing okay overall? How's he handling it? EXCUSE ME YOUR MOTHER DID WHAT?? THAT'S A CRIMINAL OFFENSE, PUNISHABLE BY DEATH!! Don't worry Grace, I will come and snatch you up for a tattoo tour!

Duh. Obviously recording was the better choice. That's not even a question. I'm sure your brother would have done the same thing to you. I would have died laughing, just the mental image is cracking me up!

A Japanese steakhouse?? Omg that sound mouth watering!! Tell me more please! Well... I'm not saying that you can easily be distracted/love procrastinating buuut I kinda had a feeling that you wouldn't devote your whole day to studying like you said...that's why 🤨 was included. BUT 5 QUESTIONS OUT OF 50 IS A START!! 45 MORE TO GO! YOU GOT THIS. I BELIEVE IN YOU!! Though you definitely could get 10 out of 50 if it weren't for Call of Duty 🫢 (joking, taking care of yourself and relaxing is important too!)

Here's some more Sam/Mel videos I found

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeRmnYo6/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGeRLAaFh/

Girl I cannot have you praying on my down fall in Jon’s class 😭 thankfully, he didn’t put any pictures of me in the slides, but we did talk about vision today. I wear glasses most of time, so he asked me if I was near or farsighted, then he proceeded to call me ‘four eyes.’ Like bro, WE BOTH WEAR GLASSES?!? That senior trip picture haunts my dreams, but I hope it will be the one that gets put in, just for your sake

THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE!!! I’m such a procrastinator when it comes to writing for school, but then it doesn’t even take me an hour to finish

Stinky is a MESS!! We’ve had him a little over 3 years, but the only real problem he’s had from it, was when the cut on his paw wouldn’t heal. Other than that, he seems perfectly fine. He was a random stray that quite literally appeared in our backyard one day, so we don’t know how long he’s had it for. Hell, we don’t even know how old he is 😭 but don’t worry about him, that little trouble maker is laying in bed right next to me, snoring his head off. IT HONESTLY IS A CRIME!!! I want another one so bad, but she’s just like “no 🤨.” A tattoo tour sounds amazing right now too!!

When in doubt, record! That’s something I have always lived by. My poor brother was like 6 years old getting jumped by a rooster, that somehow knocked him down too. That boy was going through hell and all I did was smile and say “you’re doing good, sweetie!”

Japanese steakhouses are so amazing!! I highly recommend going to one. We just ate a simple dine-in, but you chose to do hibachi, which is where you get to sit at this grill and have the chef cook it in front of you. It’s pretty cool, but it’s a lot more expensive than a dine-in. You know me so well, it’s kind of unsettling miss ma’am. But in a good way! If it makes you feel better, I’m going to my chemistry tutor tomorrow so we can go over an exam

Don’t ask me the color of anything in that first pic of Mel, I couldn’t tell you

I seriously need to buckle down and watch her other roles 😻

[catch-the-wind]

when reader is sick hc's p2

PART 2 IS FINISHED WHOO

here's a link to part 1 uwu

so i'm still brainrotting over this and i would like to date almost every character rn~ i probably won't add more to this unprompted but if anyone wants a part 2 just shoot me an ask! <3

tags: gn!reader, xiao x reader, zhongli x reader, ningguang x reader, beidou x reader, kazuha x reader, amber x reader, keqing x reader, venti x reader, scaramouche x reader, thoma x reader

xiao

this man is so awkward goodbye

he’s really popping into the kitchen of wangshu inn like mr. smiley yanxiao i need an order of almond tofu and uhh whatever the hell it is sick people eat

asks cloud retainer if there’s a medicinal thing she’s created and hey can you fix my s/o

meanwhile his s/o is like xiao- xiao- XIAO- it’s a COLD i’ll SURVIVE, stop leaving me to find solutions and just come cuddle

so xiao cuddles <3 he’ll read to his partner but it’s likely he’s also just sitting there in silence holding his s/o

he likes the companionship, doesn’t talk much. comfy silence all around

his partner probably falls asleep on him at some point but he’s okay with it

he probably watches his partner while they rest and he’s super frowny because he hates seeing them in pain :(

but also the gentle forehead kisses while his partner rests <3

he tells zhongli that he needs time to be with his s/o while they’re ill. he makes it sound like his partner is dying which is...overdramatic but also he just wants to dote on them and make sure they’re okay

he asks verr goldet what things a sick person might want while his partner rests and then he tries to kinda sorta subtly ask for help getting them

tries to dote on his partner subtly but he’s so grumpy all the time LOL

n e ways he gives his partner smooches and cuddles and that’s all that matters uwu

zhongli

he doesn’t even have to really say it to hu tao, she just knows he’s about to ask for a few days off. he does ask, ofc bc he’s following the protocols of social etiquette

he goes to his partner’s home or they’re in his for the entire time they’re sick

has a shopping list of foods for a sick person, also gets tea

has no mora to purchase anything on his shopping list so he hits up tartaglia LMAO

tartaglia comes w zhongli just to visit zhongli’s s/o

hu tao also comes to visit zhongli and co but he’s so wary of her because is she about to pull a prank- really she just brings him some tea he likes and wishes his s/o well <3 she probably sings to them too but it’s a little creepy if you listen to the lyrics LOL

this man is not reading his partner stories, they’re getting histories, pov morax. he knows so many little details that are lost in time but are kept safely in his memories

the man works out, tell me otherwise. he may choose his own body and he knows he has cake but the man works out and trains. he’s a god of WAR and he keeps himself in good shape. n e way he works out in the living room or backyard while his s/o is sick and he trains w just a shirt and pants and he’s so pretty aHEm i think my asthma is acting up again hang on

okay but muscles rippling and you can see it through the clothes that aren’t even that tight BUT BRO WHY ARE YOU GRUNTING SO MUCH PLEASE NO ONE ELSE DOES

would probably get his partner toys and such and one of them is a little dragon <3 give it smooches every day

he’s distracted when he answers hu tao or the adepti because he’s thinking ab his partner instead

ningguang

the frown on her face when she finds out PHEW

she takes her partner’s temperature with the back of her hand and she’s all frowny all day. ganyu is lowkey concerned bc what’s the matter with lady ningguang-

her partner stays in ningguang’s home and she’s working from home for a while <3 there are millelith guards and members of the qixing popping into her home office and even beidou once or twice. bei is also worried ab ning’s partner, but she’s doing the hearty slap on the back and the “get well soon!”

ningguang ordering food from wanmin and xiangling personally delivering it <3 xiangling and guoba are both showing up with some hot soup and guoba is there for cuddles pls he’s so cute

ningguang will read to her partner, probably tells them about her day and entertains small talk until they fall asleep

she cooks some of her qiankun mora meat and tries to make her partner soup <3 the millelith and the qixing have never seen their tianquan in a kitchen working before but she would only ever do it for the people she loves

keqing is in the corner quietly shipping while munching golden shrimp balls goodbye

i think ningguang respects ganyu too much to force her to run around for stuff but ganyu probably likes ning’s partner enough to do it anyway

ning and cuddles and temple kisses and she won’t give her partner smooches on the lips :( but she’s soft for them so they get cheek kisses and spooning them to sleep

beidou

she stays at her partner’s place while they’re sick because the crux might make them feel seasick instead

but she goes back and forth to the crux to get her things and take care of business and such. her crew probably loves her partner so they have things for bei to bring back <3

bei doesn’t even leave her partner’s town but she’s got sango pearls, cecilias, qingxin, cor lapis jewelry, dendrobiums (even though those are like. blood flowers. they’re pretty it’s fine) and many many fruits

xiangling comes by with food for bei and co and sticks around to hear beidou telling her partner stories about her time at sea

beidou is. she’s so buff okay. she carries her partner in and out of the room and to the living room or kitchen or brings everything to her partner and you can see how defined her muscles are bye i’m in love with her

we already know bei learned to cook a little bit from xiangling but beidou is absolutely learning to cook more while her partner is sick. xiangling is there giving her cooking lessons while beidou’s partner watches <3 bei with that look of concentration and she’s so quick with the knives too i’m- okay but her spoonfeeding her partner?? *chef’s kiss* ;)

beidou puts too much pepper in a dish and it deffo clears sinuses LMAO but she tried and it actually does taste very good if you can handle your spice 🤷‍♀️ i cannot so find me with a gallon of milk later

n e ways beidou cuddles her partner to sleep and falls asleep as soon as she knows they’re resting <3 many cuddles and many kisses, even if they insist not to because cooties will get u sick bei 🥺

visits bubu’s pharmacy to get her partner’s medicine herself but also has remedies from other places too! zhongli deffo helps her with some other gifts for convalescents so it’s historically, traditionally and socially acceptable

kazuha

is so worried omg

wherever his ass is, he’s going to his partner as soon as he finds out they’re sick. he’s so frowny and worried it’s almost cute but also,,,kazu it’s a cold, it’s FINE

he goes to collect qingxin and sweet flowers and stuff himself and makes his own poultices and soups and such <3

he shows up at his partner’s home with arms and buckets of flowers and herbs as soon as he possibly can. bei understands if he has to go tho, she gives him leave uwu

makes his partner soup and dried fish and gives them many smooches <3 they are not allowed out of bed LOL they just have to stay there and wait for him to dote on them

many many cuddles and smooches. he plays leaves and grass and recites poems for them he’s so cute <3 sigh, this man plays grass and i’m out here simping

also comes bearing gifts from wherever he was last tho. if he was on the crux, he’s probably got gifts from beidou and the crew even if they don’t really know kazu’s partner, they just know he’s happy and that’s what matters. if he’s not on the crux, his boss probably gives him leave and a gift or smth even if it’s just like a tea or a bottle of wine or smth

he’ll cuddle and be a blanket. but he’s also got fabrics that beidou picked up in inazuma and he uses that as a blanket for his partner <3

will tell his s/o stories of his childhood, his time wandering, his time with the crew, his work. anything they want to know or have questions about, he’ll tell them.

forehead kisses, temple kisses, holding his partner’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of their hand ugh i love him

deffo gets sick because he can’t deny his partner smooches on the lips smh. and then it’s his partner’s turn to play nursemaid

the crew from the crux probably drops by to check on kazoo man and co. they bring some regional delicacies and blankets and their best cold remedies with a slap on the back for kazu and a gentler pat for his partner. like w ningguang’s partner, bei probably gives kazu’s s/o a hearty slap but it’s not enough to hurt them

anyway i’m in love with him

amber

she’s so worried she’s such a sweetie omg

she goes to her partner immediately and fusses over them before they have to gently tell her that they’re fine

she goes to collect sweet flowers and stuff and goes to ohm, albedo and barbara for help making medicines and such

doesn’t want to leave her duties unattended to but jean also knows that amber wants to be with her s/o so she tells amber that she has fewer duties for her <3

jean tells kaeya to go make sure amber is doing okay and doesn’t need help or anything so he drags ohm, diluc, albedo and lisa too LOL

lisa was planning on going anyway, she just used diluc to carry her books w this opportunity <3 albedo is just treating amber’s partner w meds and potions and things and lisa takes a peek at that too

she’s so sad she doesn’t have ohm’s super cold skin so she can’t be a human cooling pack for her partner </3 but she gives them many smooches on cheeks and foreheads and temples

barely resists giving her partner kisses on the lips bc she still wants to go to work but also wants to give her partner what they need and sigh. it’s a struggle for amber

she wears pajamas and cuddles with her s/o <3

cooks her partner some (fully cooked!!) meals, not her specialty steak. but she makes soup and goes to good hunter and gets good hot food there too

keqing

wants to take some time off to help her partner feel better but also doesn’t want to leave work. ningguang probably sends her home at some point because she’s fretting and working and stop feeling so bad keqing, you have sick days

she still goes to work but she’s just taking marginally shorter days sigh, she goes home early instead but brings work home so she can do it while sitting with her partner

wears leisure clothes when at home with her partner but the fact that she has clothes she doesn’t use for work is shocking LMAO the cat ears stay tho ;) catgirl always

ganyu comes by with keqing’s work, some wanmin takeout and a card and gift for her partner <3

xiangling hears that keqing is home with her partner while they’re sick and brings food over to keqing’s. she’s got extra golden shrimp balls for keqing. AND AGAIN. GUOBA CUDDLES ❤️❤️❤️

keqing feels so bad for not doing as much work, she’s making herself almost as sick as her partner </3

ningguang comes over one night with beidou while keqing is doing work in bed while her partner is resting and she sees keqing stressed as all hell. she just gives keqing some food and tells her to actually rest. soft!ning and bei being moms god i love them

okay but keqing tucking her partner in with a sweet kiss before retreating to her work in the corner, the lamps turned to the lowest they can possibly be because keqing refuses to leave her beloved but can’t not do work

keqing trying to cook food for her partner that isn’t meant specifically for survival but for taste is so cute. she’s trying to cook golden shrimp balls and soup and stuff and she’s not bad at it! she took a single night of giving her s/o hot tea and some wanmin soup before she learned the whole cookbook so she can be the one to cook for them <3

venti

he brings his partner wine u cannot tell me otherwise

he goes to diluc’s. not the tavern but straight up dawn winery and asks diluc if he can get a bottle of wine for his s/o and please please please he’ll go fight some of those slimes for you, please? with the big 🥺 and staying outside diluc’s window to beg bye

diluc just gives him the wine with a glare but won’t make venti do the commission <3 venti legit says “thank barbatos” and gives diluc an ~ehe~ before he gets ready to glide away. he turns around and asks diluc if he’s sure he can’t do the comm but diluc just glares at him all broody~

diluc comes by to check on venti’s partner too bc where does venti live- venti is just camping out at his partner’s place for now and feeding them and giving them wine and diluc just kinda goes a little pink but glares while he says “get well soon” and leaves a windwheel aster from near the winery

venti makes soup and many vegetable/fruity foods because “they’re good for you! have some wine with that ehe”

jean comes by at some point with barbara to check on venti and co. they’ve got other foods and some hydro healing for venti’s partner <3

ohm comes over to see his friend and brings him some medicines, food and wine. he gets to witness the anemo god get all soft and squooshy for his s/o it’s so sweet

he uses anemo to entertain his partner with some gentle breezes playing through leaves <3 but he also plays his lyre for them and gives them smooches in between and during songs because he’s a god ofc he isn’t gonna get sick, pay the bard with kisses. and where’s his gratuity :( 😗

he doesn’t read to his s/o but he does tell them stories with a musical accompaniment. sometimes his partner will fall asleep so he just smiles so softly and tucks them in and continues playing his lyre at the window while they sleep <3

but also brushing his partner’s hair back and giving them a kiss on the forehead please i love my beloved kinnie

n e ways venti forehead smooches and playing the lyre for his s/o <3 no cough meds ehe, just dandelion wine and whatever ohm gave him (that was, in fact, the cough medicine)

scaramouche

bro this dude looks like he CANNOT be assed but he really cares <3<3

his work schedule doesn’t change but he’s going to his s/o’s home super often with soup and food and medicine and extra blankets

even to his partner, scara looks broody but he always looks like that LOL

tartaglia finds out where scara is going and he brings food and toys and stuff too <3 scara later has to read one of the kids books tartaglia brought and he refuses to voices but it’s very sweet anyway

scara probably asks sandrone if his doctor brother can get him some good cold medicine but would never admit that he asked ohm for help LOL. ohm shows up anyway and finds out <3

can and will cook soup but that’s all you’re getting from him. the takeout he brought is most definitely not something he made, no sir’am he would never do something as soft as cook for them. soup doesn’t count, it’s oboiling water with some added flavor, shut up tartagalicious he’s not soft

will give his partner kisses only after he thinks they’re asleep. refuses to give them any affection besides a headpat or two and maybe one hug when he shows real concern. his partner isn’t quite yet asleep one time and then feigns sleeping when they hear scara’s whispered “i love you” and he presses a kiss to their forehead 🥺❤️

he takes off his hat inside the house but will go around with a blanket around his shoulders to mock his partner smh. the blanket is on his head like a hood and he fake sniffles with an almost derisive laugh but he gives his partner a real smile at the end <3

9/10 times will never admit that he’s soft unless it’s a Very Serious Moment but he’s a squishy dood for his s/o and his s/o only

will not read or sing to his partner but he’ll sorta cuddle if they ask very nicely and many times. it’s just kind of him sitting next to them and they kind of have to muzzle before he’ll move his arm for his own comfort LMAO

will bring his partner gifts and food, a few flowers but he’ll just claim he’s delivering it from someone else with a look of fake disgust </3 maybe like two of those are actually from other ppl and not him

when his partner is actually feeling really sick, he won’t be a big smol meanie and he actually looks so concerned~ his partner means a lot to him and he doesn’t want them to feel sick or in pain so he’ll cuddle them unprompted and rub their back, run his hand thru their hair, soft forehead and temple kisses and “i’m here, baby” and “i love you” and falling asleep with his partner tucked under his chin <3 he’s actually so sweet bye 😭

thoma

thoma feels so bad when his partner is sick. it isn’t even his fault but he feels so bad because he wants to protect them, even from tiny little germs 😭 i’m sorry u can’t be my immune system thoma it’s FINE

he asks to take off work and ayaka just kinda sighs but smiles and waves a hand to dismiss him bc yes ofc you can, simp

ayato just laughs when he sees this LMAO BYE

thoma’s partner stays at his home, in his bed or a guest room (idk if he has his own place or stays w the kamisatos as their literal live-in maid but anyway)

his partner gets his care, any doctors or caretakers around ritou, the medic from the crux, the kamisato family doctor- this man is using some of his favors for medicine and then cuddling his s/o, ugh i want to date him sm

both kamisatos come by with some food for thoma and co but poor ayato can’t even keep his grin contained, poor thoma is conditioned to be nervous ab what ayato feeds him LOL

he’s cooking for his partner, legit gives them a list of options and an “anything you want, my love?”

cuddles his s/o even tho they might protest but it takes like 0.2 seconds to stop protesting bc that man is comfy

tells his partner stories about what it was like back home in mondstadt and his journey to inazuma and why he’s there as well as his stories about all the different kinds of people he’s met

taroumaru coming w kozue to the kamisato estate to get some hot tea to thoma 🥺 and the cuddles and nuzzles from this great doggo for thoma before he turns to his partner too 😭 straight up jumps in the bed and licks their faces a little before nuzzling in for a hug

n e way thoma gives a lot of hugs and kisses and cuddles and i think he’s hella touchy-feely and misses home and treasures his partner even more because of it

my beautiful red shield ❤️

[moemammon]

Since you're open for requests, how about a MC who cannot die no matter how much you try? The anime my sister was watching yesterday (I think it's Rezero or Re:zero, I'm not sure which one) had a character like this, apparently she comes back out of nowhere each time you kill her, no matter how. It's kinda creepy, but I think a MC like this would be very interesting!

MC Just Can't Be Killed! (Feat. The Demon Bros)

(Took some liberties on this one and tweaked it so MC just conveniently manages to escape with their life-)

Lucifer

He knew something was up the moment you first avoided being killed by Levi-

He thought it was dumb luck and pure chance that you could always talk your way out of things, or how you were always rescued by someone. But then he started getting suspicious.

How can you, a human, possibly survive so long? Not that he’d allow you do die while under his care, but even HE was impressed when you managed to bounce back from being clapped into the shadow realm by Belphie.

And then you just... kept narrowly escaping death. You crawled out of the jaws of Cerberus, completely unscathed. You tripped on a path (with Mammon) and went tumbling down a hill... and off a cliff. Yet when he went to get you, you were fine. You ate Solomon's cooking and lived to tell the tale.

What are you.... he demands answers...

Mammon

Probably?? Doesn't notice for a REALLY long time how many brushes with death you've had. Literally thinks your survival is all thanks to his great supervision skills.

When in reality, he's sometimes the cause of a few of your mishaps. Like the other day, when he playfully tripped you on your way out, and thought he fucking murdered you.

And the time he let you help him advertise a shady 'youth potion', and a couple of demons thought you were part of a promotional sampling platter.

How you were still in one piece after all of this was beyond him but hey, he's not asking questions! As long as you're alive, Mammon is a-ok!

Though, he seriously wants to know how you survived that thing with Cerberus. Can you give a guy some tips on how to avoid teeth-induced puncture wounds?

Levi

What kind of infinity lives glitch are you exploiting and how did you implement it in real life-

Levi knows a hacker when he sees one and he's NOT letting you off the hook. The moment he realizes that you haven't died despite being manhandled in every sense of the word, he's watching you.

But also hella thankful?? He wouldn't know what to do if you ACTUALLY died.

It's probably because you're so amazing that you keep managing to do impossible stuff, huh? As expected of his best friend!

Still lowkey worried though, and tries convincing you that you're less likely to die if you just stay in his room with him all the time.

Satan

Inch resting....

Satan would definitely notice right away that you seem practically unkillable, considering how you walked away from every single brother completely unscathed.

You were a human, attending a school for demons, sometimes completely unsupervised, and you were STILL alive?? Yeah, some thorns me not adding up.

He would purposely lead you into dangerous situations, just to watch in awe as you get out of it without so much as a paper cut. Until he starts catching feelings, of course.

As interesting as it is to test out your lucky abilities, the anxiety that swells in Satan's chest when he sees you doing something dangerous is enough to make him want to protect you. Isn't it safer to just sit down and enjoy a good book?

Asmo

Asmo literally tried putting you in Lucifer's way in the beginning so you'd get hurt, so he definitely notices how not hurt you are after a while.

But now that he loves you, all's well that ends well! He's sooo glad Lucifer didn't tear you apart like he thought he was going to! Mwah mwah, no hard feelings ❤️

Seriously though, how the hell are you managing that?? You keep being tricked into eating things they're poisonous to humans, and the most that happens to you is bad indigestion. And that time Asmo forgot the hot springs were too hot for you? Yeah, somehow you didn't die that time, either.

What were you made out of??? Were you secretly magical like Solomon and didn't tell anyone?? Or maybe you were super lucky???

Does that mean you're especially sturdy? If so, then maybe he could introduce you to a few "activities" that are bound to keep you out of trouble~

Beel

What have you been eating that's making you so sturdy?? Actually, what HAVEN'T you eaten at this point..? The fact that you didn't die after eating Solomon's cooking is enough to tell Beel that you might not need his protection.

Though, that doesn't stop him from following you around. Even if you miraculously bounce back every time, he's getting kind of worried for like.. your overall health?

At this point he's tempted to just zip you up in his jacket to keep you safe. You're like a danger magnet and it's giving him anxiety.

He doesn't mind your adventurous side, but can't you slow down a little? At least make sure he's with you when you decide to do something risky.

If he feeds you enough, you'll get tired and just want to rest. That'll keep you out of trouble. So get ready, because Beel's bringing over a ton of desserts from Madame Scream's.

Belphie

Yeah uhhhhh he was fucking SHOOK when you came back from the dead after he clearly sent you to heaven with his bare hands??

So yeah. He's convinced you're unkillable for now. But as curious as he is to test those limits, he's realized that you're off limits as far as killing goes. And he might.. like you a little too much to try anything.

Just kidding. He makes it known that he likes you, and once you're comfortable with it, he'll make jokes about how you're immortal. Maybe you're a demon in disguise? Or an angel even?

Doesn't make it known, but he quietly watches over you to make sure you don't kill yourself through one of the millions of ways to die that the Devildom offers for free. Might not be the best bodyguard since he falls asleep all the time, but he's doing his best.

You know what would really keep you out of trouble? Napping with him. So every time you even think about something risky, he's dragging you off to the attic for some quality z's.

[unbridgeabledistances]

hiiiiiiiii i'm here to scream about love is blind! ( paging @smokey-mickey and @grumpymickmilk <33 )

okay okay so:

we hate how much we love shayne x natalie now. like !!! wtf they're so cute it's ridic

THE WHOLE THING W NATALIE'S MOM AT FIRST. 'do you want to see the ring?' 'no.' *slaps hand* SLAPS HAND. twisha rewinded that a few times bc it was sending us 😩😭

shayne's rant on the baseball field!!! coming after sal and his tight pants!! then the transition from 'that was embarrassing as shit! 😠' to 'but i'm in love with natalie🥰 i'm gonna say yes 😌 i'm so happy 😁' pure of heart, dumb of ass <3

SHAKE. shake-y shake where do i begin. the whole 'i wanna fuck you EMOTIONALLY. before i see if you're good in bed, i gotta see if you're good in the head.' L I K E LMFAO. twisha (and i) got The Ick a lot sksdfjdsh

danielle???!! g i r l -- driving me up the wall a bit

also i want the best for iyanna <3

SHAINA!!! i was laughing in shock the way she was coming after natalie??? bonkers!

also we love sal's grand gestures bc he really seems to care and be making an effort <3

AND THE CLIFFHANGER BEFORE THE LAST EP COMES OUT. CRUEL.

BRI!!!!💖💖 the way that i received this message and then immediately opened my LAPTOP to tumblr dot com so i could type out an essay-length response

1) SHAYNE AND NATALIE ARE KILLING ME. one minute i am gagging over shayne's gross bro-y laugh and him constantly askign shayna ~what are u wearing~ and the next moment i am SWOONING over him communicating his feelings to natalie like a big boy. i feel like next episode where they get in a fight before the wedding is gonna be BIG drama and make me hate him again- AND HIS BASEBALL RANT PLS LOL

2) danielle is the worst!!! as put by rhys on the phone last night, nick could be like "wow that dinner was rly good" and danielle would be like "hmmmmm so you think it wasn't GREAT?🤨 so u hate my cooking?🤨🤨"

3) WE LOVE IYANNA and shaina is truly BONKERS! also she could literally hit kyle with a car and he'd be like "she's warming up to me😌"

4) okay..... rhys's HOTTEST take is that sal is sus and not as wholesome as he seems and i kind of see it?? he is a wholesome marshmallow of a man but i am nervous he will say no now that mal is committed

rhys's other thoughts:

FINAL PREDICTIONS: nick/danielle BETTER be a no, i have no idea about shayne/natalie, deepti's gonna say yes but i bet shakey boi is gonna chicken out, and iyanna and jared are gonna say yes but after iyanna cries a little bit, sal/mal are ???? NO IDEA

it brings me so much joy that y'all are watching i cannot wait to scream together next friday😭❤️‍🔥

(p.s.: bri i am sorry i did not respond to ur ask the other day, i was sleepy and i clicked "delete" instead of "answer" and then angrily went to sleep telling myself i would inbox u in the morning and then promptly forgot🤪 but jeep emmett brought me immense joy u know i love him and u xoxo)