#BLOOD SHOTGUNNING GOES CRAZY

[fishfingersandscarves]

scene from open up your skull, i'll be there by typefortydeductions

[prettysweetprettysweet]

Louis and Lestat are laughing over shots of drunk ppl neck at a bar and Louis is like, "you wanna hear something crazy though? I topped him for 70 years." The laughing stops abruptly but after a moment's pause, Lestat says "ah, you mean you topped him from the bottom" and continues nursing his beer. And Louis' like "uuuh, NO. I mean I topped him." And Lestat, thinking that they've reached the source of the misunderstanding, says "ooooh, I see now, you mean you bottomed for him from the top." And Louis' like "...no, no, what?? no, ~~~I~~~ topped ~~~him~~~." And Lestat is like "??? OH! Oh my god, how silly of me, I thought we were talking about sex! You must be referring to some modern game I'm unfamiliar with, like bottle caps?" And Louis says "Lestat, I am talking about sex, I topped Armand for 77 years" and Lestat laughs and says "Oh, Louis, and I'VE been the one hermited away in a little shotgun shack! I don't think that word means what you think it means, but you're very cute." It takes another 7 minutes for them to truly come to an understanding, but not before Lestat literally throws his hands up and attributes the confusion to a language barrier that they won't be able to get past and maybe they should just 'move on.' When the realization really hits Lestat he's left with a profound sense of horror that almost immediately morphs into smug satisfaction that both Louis and Armand have been having the worst sex of their lives for nearly a century, but then it goes 360 fully back round to a horror so sobering that Lestat's blood alcohol level has shot down to base level at miracle speed. all they can do now is stare at each other and Lestat is hoping with all of himself that Louis can see the genuine sorrow pouring from his eyes and Louis is thinking "i forgot that he can really be so empathetic, i've gotta let him hit tonight" and Lestat says through blood tears, "Louis, one time over a century ago you asked me why God put us here. I know now, in every atom of my being, that God put me here to fuck you the right way"

[emperor-neo]

Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.

Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*

Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*

Selina: God why are you even in here?!

Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—

Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…

Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.

Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”

*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*

Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting

Clark: Lex can you sit down?

Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*

Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—

Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?

Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.

Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*

Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*

Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.

Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.

Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa

Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?

Barbara whispers back: only during holidays

Jim: remind me not to attend during it

Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?

Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.

*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*

Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.

Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination…

Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—

*a chorus of outrage erupts*

Jon: WOAH WOAH!

Dick: HEY!!

Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—

*cuts short by Lucius Fox*

Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.

Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…

Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card

Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!

Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*

[kitchenisking]

Sterek Fic Rec

Second night of chunnuka!

As it Should Be by KuroKitty (HaleYes) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 7,240, sterek)

Stiles comes home from his 18th birthday party at the bowling alley to find a surprise waiting for him in his room.

Or, the one where Derek has no chill.

Daddy. by Krose_16 - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,430, sterek)

Stiles smells like someone else. A certain alpha doesn't like it.

Daddy's Boy by Snare - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 2,822, sterek)

Stiles has been blushing around him all week, sputtering and cheeks going red. It’s only after a pack meeting when Derek finally sees the soft pink lace peaking out from under his waistband.

you're still you by EvanesDust - (Rating: T, Words: 7,292, sterek)

[excerpt] Stiles takes a deep breath and follows the pull of their bond to the kitchen. He stops short when he sees Derek sitting at the table. His brows are furrowed with worry and his eyes are closed. But that’s not what makes Stiles’s heart skips a beat.

No, it’s the fact that Derek, his thirty-two-year-old husband, looks half his age now. As in literally half his age. There’s no way that the man sitting in front of him is older than sixteen.

“What the fuck?” Stiles blurts out, and Derek’s eyes shoot open, the chair clattering back as he stands as if Stiles surprised him. And that just goes to show that something is seriously wrong because Stiles has only ever been able to do that when Derek’s stressed and lost in thought. “What the hell happened?”

…or the murder husbands fic that’s mostly sweet while bby Derek takes care of his pregnant mate.

Neither Here Nor There by FelOllie - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 7,083, sterek)

"Yeah." Stiles ran a hand through hair he hadn't washed in days, not since he'd come home from his dad's to find the loft littered with shotgun shells, black blood staining the floor and the heavy scent of wolfsbane cloyingly thick in the air, with Derek nowhere to be found. "We'll get him back. But..."

"What?" Scott asked, crossing the floor to stand before Stiles, lifting a comforting hand to his best friend's shoulder.

Stiles met Scott's eyes, his own orbs glittering with terrified tears. "What if he's just ash by then?"

Bright by thedevilyousay  - (Rating: Not Rated, Words: 4,102, sterek)

"The strongest warlock in all the land uses his power to constantly kidnap the princess. Most people believe it’s because he’s in love with her, but they have it all wrong. He’s in love with the knight who always comes to save her."

or

Allison finally lets out all the air that’s been trapped in her lungs to giggle, a noise she quickly tries to cover with her hand. This is all too much though, honestly. Stiles isn’t even dressed, Derek has no idea that the mage only does this to see him, and she suddenly can’t remember if she took the kettle off the fire in Stiles kitchen before walking out here to greet her Knight. She tries to gather herself before she speaks.

Nothing Gory Means No Glory (but baby please don't bore me) by DefNotForWork - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 13,537, sterek)

“I don’t like them touching you,” he rumbled. “I don’t want anyone else touching you.” He leaned forward, and Stiles’ eyes went wide, thinking for one crazy second that the wolf might be leaning in for a kiss. He stood, frozen in place as Derek pressed in close, chest to chest, dragging his nose and then his stubbly cheek against the corner of Stiles’ slack, shocked mouth, down over his jaw and then to his neck. Stiles recognized it as scenting, but damn did it feel like so much more.

Or

Stiles puts himself in the way of a succubus, gets munched on, Derek talks about his feelings, and then they find true love. Not strictly in that order.

At Peace by RisingQueen2 (FallenQueen2) - (Rating: Explicit, Words: 1,801, sterek)

Stiles spies Derek looking adorably soft and can’t help but go to him.

The End is the Beginning by AClosedFicIsNeverRead - (Rating: Mature, Words: 6,496, sterek)

When Chris returned to the living room, rifle in hand, Stiles – God help him – looked so relieved. 

“Thank you,” Stiles sighed. He sat up and closed his eyes, trying to hold himself somewhat still as he waited to die.

Chris clenched his jaw. Raised his rifle. Aimed with tearful eyes. And pulled the trigger. 

- OR - 

The one where Stiles is bitten and left for dead by a rogue Alpha without anyone knowing, becomes increasingly unstable, and asks Chris Argent to put him down. It doesn't go the way he expected it would...

let the tension seep from your bones by To_fill_the_sea - (Rating: Mature, Words: 3,510, sterek)

Derek comes home from tracking a rogue alpha that was encroaching on his territory and threatening his town. When he finally fixes the problem and comes back home he finds Stiles crying in the shower. He then does what he can to soothe and help him.

[moongreenlight]

ok ok so about this post:

https://www.tumblr.com/moongreenlight/729759450340130816/headcanons-for-captain-john-price-and-his-very

i was reading it while listening to mozart’s requiem: confutatis maledictus

https://youtu.be/hN7DZhGNCxY?si=knTn38X98KovFvzL

and i was thinking what if the age gap is the same BUT reader was also military?

like this sweet little thing who dresses in pretty, dark red cherry print skirts used to have the same dark red splotches of blood on their uniform in the field. reader who’s a bit deranged, who plays the strings on her violin until the deep indents on her fingertips threaten to cut and bleed. a bit strange reader who immediately snaps her head to the slightest out of place sound on her private garden, face dropping from her stepford smile into a focused scowl. loose screwed reader who demands the cook to cook the same dish 4 times on a random thursday because it didn’t taste like the same as when he prepared it 4 months ago. bit rabid reader who keeps her staff dogs on a tight leash, including her husband, demanding things to be done on her standards. pretty show cat reader who hisses and scratches when john doesn’t greet her with the same amount of joy at the door when he has a bad day at work.

this cat, no matter how pampered and spoiled, never fully became domesticated to be a house cat, still feral under her shiny new coat. her new appearance however, is truly just a guise over her rabid tendencies. god forbid john ever pushes readers buttons because his things will get destroyed, his ego deflated, his paperweights cracked, his uniforms ripped at the seams, sturdy until needed, his pens lacking any more ink, fountain pen nibs bent ever so slightly, furniture moved every so slightly, hair and facial appointments cut in half and only being once a week.

i just LIVE for deranged!reader. i love love love it when reader is the crazy one too who feeds and takes ideals from her husband 😼😼😼

Katz I am almost certain you read my rough draft for these Headcanons because I swear to you I almost wrote reader like this. Your mind. You also know I’m a sucker for an animal comparison you literally forced me to write this. :’(

I am a crazy bitch SYMPATHIZER. She is me I am her. It takes a lot of me not to write every reader as a little off their fucking rocker but I’m glad you’re endorsing this.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

He probably takes a liking to you shortly after you start training. Catches you tearing into one of your bunk mates viciously for leaving one (1) sock on the ground next to their hamper. Doesn’t bother to break it up, just immediately goes back to his office and figures out who your training officer was and how quickly he could get you switched into his group.

He pulls rank on Soap to get him to agree to let you switch over. He doesn’t look happy about it, but he huffs and agrees to take a significantly less advanced rookie in exchange for you. Completely unfair trade, but Price is over the moon about it.

He doesn’t come off too strong at first because you’re young. Just turned twenty and joined the military to get loans for uni. He knows he’s much too old for you.

But still, he lets his hands linger on your waist when he’s correcting your posture, kicks your feet apart and plants his leg between yours when he’s teaching you how to properly handle a shotgun. Hears his other rookies complaining about you being favored by him because you’re the only one he’ll compliment during sessions.

Doesn’t even bother saying anything about the rumors spreading because you beat him to the punch- sometimes literally. Like he’s fairly certain you shot the worst offender in the foot on purpose during a mission to shut them up.

A few months go by with no real progress and no real payout until one day after training he wanders back to his office and finds you already sitting there waiting for him. You say something about how you’re hoping to advance pretty quickly after training, you wonder if he sees any potential in you. Lean over his desk and bat your lashes and ask what he thinks about giving you some private lessons, only if he has time of course. He nearly passes out.

And then a year later you’re married. He doesn’t have time to dick around, nor does he want to, and he now knows you well enough to know that you’ll throw a proper tantrum if things aren’t done exactly to your liking, so sure, it was a quick turnaround, but you really did love each other.

I think he asks a few times if you’ll leave the service, and you shut him down immediately. Scowling and pulling a face at the suggestion. Saying no just to say no. And then you go spent like $600 at the shops with his card. So he learns to keep his mouth shut and just supplement you with the life he wants you to have until you come to your own decision to be discharged.

And while you’ve grown accustomed to your new plush life, you never quite lose your fire. Truly, you’re a feral little thing turned prized show cat. You let him dote on you and provide you with all the finer things in life. Let him preen you and dress you up and play his perfect little wife. Oftentimes gives people the impression he’s got you tucked under his thumb when the reality of the situation is quite the opposite.

You let him play captain when you visit him at work or when he brings the boys over for drinks. Smile and stay relatively quiet tucked in by his side when you’re hosting dinner. Put on a nice outfit and a big smile when he introduces you to his chain of command during holiday parties and outings. You’ve gotten quite good at playing domestic.

But you like things exactly how you like them. Very particular about your life and your house and the people in it. You make it abundantly clear that it’s your way or no way at all.

Lounging out by the pool in the back while the landscapers work and noticing as they’re trying to slip out the gate that they didn’t properly trim the grass around the perimeter of the fence, so you storm out after them and hiss and yowl your complaint until they fix their mistake. Making a spectacle in your tiny bikini in front of the whole neighborhood until they finally correct the issue. Then you shake off any irritation and flash them a bright smile and offer your thanks like nothing had happened.

Hovering around the cook in the kitchen irritatingly close after you’ve asked them to prepare a dish that your mother used to make when you were a child. Peeking over their shoulder and punctuating their work with comments and corrections that are presented like suggestions, but everyone understands they’re demands. Going so far as to dump their progress in the trash when they’re not following your instruction well enough.

Sending John to work for two weeks straight with an empty bag that was supposed to hold his lunch because you’d asked him to please stop kicking off his mucked up work boots directly in front of the front door when he got home and he didn’t. Not even bothering to make up an excuse as to why you wouldn’t be coming to base when he called to ask if you’d bring him food. Simply saying no and ending the call no matter how many times he apologized.

Spilling his mug of tea over paperwork if you felt like he wasn’t paying you enough attention. Even if you were sat on his lap and obstructing his view of his desk.

Growing agitated with his working late so you go up to base when you know he’s out training and locking all of the drawers and cabinets in his office. Wearing the key on a dainty chain around your neck and telling him he can only have it back once you feel like he’s gotten his priorities straight. Calling in the aid of a handyman to bolt the mail slot on his door shut so he had no excuse to be doing any excess work.

Pulling a duchess from Wolf of Wall Street and wearing tiny little dresses with no underwear. Intentionally bending at the waist in front of him and leaning over his desk with your elbows pushed together in front of you when he’s done something to piss you off. Batting his hand away when he tries to grope you.

Or what felt like the worst punishment of all to him- making a point of being in the shower when he came home. Not giving him the pleasure of giving you the lush bubble baths he loved so much. Sometimes just sitting in the bathroom with the water running until you heard the front door swing shut and turning it off. Coming out wrapped in a towel that barely covered you. water beading on your shoulders. Sauntering away from him with your tail flicking back and forth when he tried to voice his protest.

He’s infinitely patient with you. Mostly because he is absolutely infatuated, but also because he knew what he was getting into when he married you. He’ll correct you when you go too far for his liking. Maybe pull you over his knee and make you apologize for how you acted until he feels like you mean it. Giving you a mean swat to the ass every time you’re snarky or flat out refuse. Sometimes gets fed up with your smart mouth and shoves his cock down your throat for a few hours to remind you that speaking is a privilege and not a right. Or he’ll parade you around the house fully nude. Maybe forcing you to crawl around on all fours like the feral cat you are in front of all the staff (or the task force boys) just to remind you of your place. Has you curl up on the sofa next to him, even though the whole time you’re pouting like you didn’t do anything wrong. Looks at you over his newspaper with a mock-sympathetic smile but says nothing until you decide to get over your anger and settle in his lap. Purring while he smooths a hand over your hair.

[omtua22]

Through Time and Lies

Thank you @mangoshorthand for helping develop this idea. This is a little dabble of an alternate version of the Umbrella Academy Season 4. This is my first time writing anything like this, so sorry if it's bad. I just hated what really happened between Five and Lila in the actual season.

The acrid stench of ash and decay hung heavy in the air, a constant reminder of the wasteland I'd called home for the past six years. My fingers tightened around the worn grip of my shotgun as I surveyed the desolate landscape, always on guard for any threat. That's when I saw them—two figures materializing out of thin air, one of them stumbling and clearly injured.

My blood ran cold as I recognized the face of the man. It was... me. An older, more haggard version, but undeniably me. Before I could process this mindfuck of a situation, instinct took over. I raised my gun and fired without hesitation, the crack of the shot echoing across the barren terrain.

The other me crumpled to the ground, a look of shock frozen on his face. The woman accompanying him—dark-haired, wild-eyed—let out a strangled cry and dropped to her knees beside him.

"Five! No, no, no!" she wailed, cradling his head in her lap. Her eyes, filled with tears and desperation, snapped up to meet mine. "Please," she begged, "don't shoot, you trigger happy little squit. You don't understand—"

I cut her off, my voice cold and steady. "I understand perfectly. You brought another version of me here, and now he's dead. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't put a bullet in your head too."

The woman—Lila, she'd called herself earlier—took a shaky breath. "Because I can help you see your family again. To get out of this hellhole."

I scoffed. "And why the fuck should I believe anything you say?"

"Because I know things," she insisted. "Things only you would know. I was Diego's wife in another timeline. I knew you—the other you. And damn, it would just be your luck you'd die at your own hand."

I raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "You think dropping Diego's name is gonna make me trust you? Try again, sweetheart."

Lila's eyes narrowed, a hint of her own fire showing through the grief. "Fine. You want proof? Dolores."

The name hit me like a punch to the gut. Dolores. My companion, my confidante, the only thing keeping me sane in this godforsaken wasteland. How the hell could she know about Dolores?

I lowered the gun slightly, but kept it trained on her. "Talk," I growled.

Lila's story poured out in a frantic, disjointed mess. Time travel, the Commission, apocalypses—plural. My family, all grown up, with their own lives and problems. It was too much to take in, too fantastical to believe. And yet... the proof was lying dead at my feet.

"So let me get this straight," I interrupted, my head spinning. "You want me to pretend to be him?" I gestured to the corpse with my gun. "To what, save the fucking world?"

Lila nodded, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "It's the only way. Please, Five. I know it's asking a lot, but—"

I cut her off with a bitter laugh. "Asking a lot? You're asking me to lie to my family, to pretend to be someone I'm not. To step into the shoes of a man who's apparently fucked up time itself multiple times over."

"But you'll get to see them again," Lila pressed. "Isn't that worth it?"

I fell silent, considering. Six years of isolation, of wondering if I'd ever see another living soul again, let alone my siblings. The chance to go back, to be with them... It was everything I'd dreamed of. Even if they hated me—well, the other me.

"Fuck it," I muttered, holstering my gun. "I'm in. But if this goes sideways, I'm putting a bullet in you first. Got it?"

Lila nodded, relief washing over her face. "Deal."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, adjusting the tie of the perfectly tailored suit Lila had procured for me. It felt strange, constricting after years of scavenged clothes and whatever I could cobble together.

"You're fucking crazy, you know that?" I muttered to myself, running a hand through my hair.

Lila appeared in the doorway behind me, her arms crossed. "Crazy got us this far, didn't it?" she smirked.

I turned to face her, my eyes narrowing. "This plan of yours is insane. You realize that, right? There's no way in hell they're going to buy this."

She shrugged, that infuriating smugness still plastered across her face. "They will if you sell it. Come on, Five. Don't tell me you're chickening out now. Don't you want to see your family again?"

I clenched my jaw, fighting the urge to snap at her. Of course I wanted to see them. It was all I'd thought about for six fucking years. But this? This felt wrong.

"They're going to hate me," I muttered. "Or, well, hate who they think I am."

Lila's expression softened slightly. "Maybe. But isn't it worth it? To see them again, even if they don't know it's really you?"

I turned back to the mirror, straightening my jacket. She was right, damn her. I'd endure anything to see my siblings again, even their hatred.

"Let's get this shitshow on the road," I growled, pushing past her and out of the room.

The reunion was... intense, to say the least. Seeing them all grown up, changed in ways I couldn't have imagined, it was almost too much. Luther, no longer the awkward, bumbling kid I remembered, but a leader. Diego, still a hothead, but with a newfound respect that caught me off guard. Allison, confident and powerful in ways that went beyond her rumors.

And Viktor. Jesus Christ, Viktor. The quiet, timid kid I'd left behind was gone, replaced by someone strong, assured, with powers that made my spatial jumps look like child's play. I couldn't have been prouder if I tried.

They all looked at me with a mix of wariness and resentment, clearly expecting the worst. It stung, but I swallowed it down. This wasn't about me. It was about them.

"Well," I drawled, falling into the persona Lila had coached me on, "looks like the gang's all here. Ready to save the world... again?"

Diego scoffed. "Oh, now you want to work as a team? That's rich coming from you, Five."

I bit back the urge to defend myself, to explain that I wasn't who they thought I was. Instead, I just smirked. "What can I say? I'm full of surprises."

As we delved into the latest apocalyptic threat—because of-fucking-course there was another one—I found myself marveling at how they'd all grown. Their abilities, their teamwork, it was beyond anything I could have imagined.

When Viktor unleashed his powers, nearly leveling a building to stop a group of Commission agents, I couldn't help but grin. "Holy shit, V," I muttered under my breath. "You've come a long way from violin practice."

"What was that?" Allison asked, eyeing me suspiciously.

I schooled my features back into a neutral expression. "Nothing. Just thinking we might actually pull this off for once."

As the days wore on, the lies became harder to maintain. Every time they referenced some shared experience I knew nothing about, every bitter comment about past mistakes I hadn't made, it was like a knife twisting in my gut.

But then I'd see Luther take charge of a situation with a confidence he'd never had as a kid. Or watch Diego and Allison move in perfect sync, covering each other's backs without a word. Or catch Viktor's small, proud smile after mastering a new aspect of his powers.

And I knew, deep in my bones, that it was worth it. Every lie, every moment of self-doubt, every flash of hatred in their eyes—it was all worth it to see them like this. To know that somehow, despite everything, they'd all become the heroes I always knew they could be.

One night, as we regrouped after a particularly harrowing battle, Lila and I blinked up to the roof and just sat there. I did this when I was a kid too. Blinked to the top of the Academy to escape dad.

The guilt was written all over Lila's face.

"They don't know," she whispered, her eyes darting to where the others were gathered. "They still think you're him."

I nodded, a small, sad smile tugging at my lips. "I know. And it's okay. Let them think that."

Lila frowned. "But... don't you want them to know the truth? That you're not the one who—"

"Who fucked everything up?" I finished for her. "Who dragged them through time and space, who got them stuck in the wrong timeline over and over?" I shook my head. "No. If this is what it takes for me to see them like this—strong, united, better than we ever were as kids—then I'll take it. I'll be the villain in their story if it means I get to see them shine."

Lila's eyes filled with a mix of admiration and pity. "You really love them, don't you?"

I snorted. "They're my family. Of course I fucking love them. Even if they hate me."

As we turned back to join the others, I caught sight of Viktor laughing at something Allison had said, his whole face lit up with joy. And in that moment, I knew I'd made the right choice.

They might never know the truth. They might always see me as the asshole who ruined their lives. But I got to see them like this—happy, powerful, united. And that? That was worth everything.

Even if it meant being hated.

[foolishfoolsgold]

Fuck it. Official CaW car headcanon post

Red blood cells: Anything at all as long as it’s red and not too big (I’m looking at you, Honda Accord). They have a pizza-guy thingy on top shaped like a real RBC with a light inside that goes on when they’re oxygenated. Instead of decals they just have that and like a little Lyft driver sticker on the dash. Also all cells have their “names” (codes) on the back license plates. Often times the drivers will personalize their cars like crazy with bumper stickers and dashboard plushies and shit

Neutrophils: white Ford explorers (any year) all decked out w/ identifying decals and gear like cop cars. All immune cells have sirens btw

Killer Ts: Black Chevy Tahoeesssss, 2021 or newer. Have minimal decals but a front ornamental plate that says KILL like their hats

Eosinophils: any modestly sized pickups really, but Toyotas are a favorite. Usually pink with some kind of camo thing going on

B cells: this one’s probably my favorite. Subaru Bajas with giant antibody machine guns bolted to the bed. And Memory rides shotgun

Macrophages: gigantic Ford F-250s because yes. What if they were like super pale pink with a pearly finish and crazy spikes on the front bumper

Regulatory Ts: Shiny new Lexus RXs for powerful rich lady vibes. And also because this rosy bronze color specifically is just so beautiful I’ve seen it IRL a few times

Dendritic cells: SEMI TRUCKS!!!! A. Real dendritic cells are huge in general and B. they gotta carry all them antigens

[thewritersaddictions]

Drabble- Tommy Miller: Popped

Your patrol with Tommy had turned a little crazy when you ran into a rather large group of runners and stalkers. The loud sound of a handgun and your shotgun echoed off the walls of the old and ran down the shopping center not far off from Jackson.

"TOMMY!!" You yell his name as you try to get your bearings from everything. It always happens so fast. It's always guns blazing and blood splattering across your face, but he's always right beside you when things like this happen.

"I'm right here, darlin'." He says as he walks over from another aisle. "Oh, thank god." You murmur as your arms wrap around the muscular waist of your patrol partner and boyfriend. The two of you had gotten together after Maria, and he had a blowout; at first, you were his friend, then his best friend, and now you're this. His partner, it's different.

Regardless, you had entered the old, run-down building to get supplies. The new-ish building had been watched and added to the list of buildings that needed to be looked at and cleared. Tommy's hold was warm and loving, giving life back into your racing heart. "I hate when that happens." Tommy chuckles in your hug. "What are you laughin' at, mister." You say as you move your head, resting your chin on his chest. Eye to eye. Tommy only shakes his head, "Babe, you've been around these things for a good while now; you think you'd be used to it by now." Tommy says. "It's not that, Tommy, and you know it. I'm used to them and all of it, but now I'm worried about you. I just wanna make sure you're safe." You say to Tommy with sincerity behind your words.

There's silence, and then Tommy sighs heavily, "You know that's supposed to be my line, right?" He says with a smile on his face. "Very funny, but we should seriously check the rest of this place out before more of those fuckers come." You say, detaching yourself from your boyfriend's hold. From that point forward, you move quickly and quietly through the aisle that you can still get down. Some aisles are entirely ruined from debris, or the tall shelves have fallen on each other. You are surprised that the canned goods are still stacked on one of the shelves. You take a few in your hands and check the sides and rims to ensure nothing has pocked it or caused damage.

When you don't find any, you grab a few, stuff them in your satchel, and then move on to the next aisle. It doesn't take long for you to go through the open aisle, but you are more than surprised when you find the candy aisle. It's utterly open, so you wander down.

Your heart leaps into your chest when you find a whole shelf of the kernels for popcorn. Two large containers are sitting there with dust covering the tops, but regardless, you can grab them, stuffing them beside the canned goods. "You good?" You hear Tommy yell from the other side of the old store. "Yep!" You yell back, "Ready to go?" He asks when he finds you in yet another aisle. "I think so; most of the stuff left wasn't very umm… usable." He chuckles and grabs onto your hand.

Nearly two weeks later, you remember the kernels in your satchel. You had given the canned goods to the main food hall and kept the kernels for yourself. Maybe you're a little selfish, but you don't care. Finders keepers, you would say. Tommy kissed you goodbye this morning and told you he would see his brother and I'd be back later in the afternoon. This house had an older TV with a DVD player already connected. The tiny house also comes with a nice collection of movies. So you set out to work on a surprise for Tommy whenever he came home.

You take the kernels from your satchel and work in the kitchen. The pan is hot on the stove, and the little oil you have left goes into the pan used for popping the kernels. It had been a long time since you sat down, watched a movie, and ate the delicious snacks that came with movies. Sure, movies are played every Friday for the kids, but it's always the same movies and no snacks. This time, it would be different; you could sit down and watch a movie with your boyfriend while eating those delicious cookies Ellie had dropped off for you.

You are all set up and ready for when Tommy walks in through the front door of your house. The lights are low, and the TV is waiting with the DVD playing the intro to the movie. It brings a warm glow to your living room. It's not until you hear the click of the door and the shoes land on the floor with a loud bang that you realize that Tommy is home. "Y/n!?" He shouts for you, and you shout right back. "In here!" You reply. You wait a few moments, letting the soft pad of Tommy's sock-covered feet tell you when he's near.

The sound of utter shock and happiness has your eyes climbing up his frame. Broad shoulders and floppy black hair, but a smile that's what you really see. "What's all this sugar?" He asks as he stands in the doorway. You bit your bottom lip with your teeth before starting to explain yourself. "I thought that you might wanna have a night in, and I was able to get the DVD player working. did you know there was a nice collection of movies underneath the TV stand?" You start to ramble on, but a firm, sweet kiss on your lips shuts you up momentarily.

When Tommy releases you from his hold, you smile up at him, his hands still resting on your checks. "I fuckin' love this; what's that smell?" He asks, and your smile grows tenfold. You get up quickly while rushing to the kitchen; Tommy only stands there momentarily before following you.

"So you remember that patrol we did a few weeks ago, the one in the old store?" You ask him, and he hums, resting his back on the island and crossing his arms. "Well… I might have grabbed a container or two of the kernels you can take home." You say excitedly. His brows furrow, and then his face relaxes. "Are you sayin' I'm gonna be able to watch a movie and eat a bowl of popcorn?" You nod your head and smile. Again, Tommy is grabbing your frame and pulling it into his chest, pressing a sweet kiss to your temple, nose, and then finally to your lips, which you reciprocate.

"As much as I loved to continue kissin' you, sugar. I really wanna watch a movie with you and eat some of this popcorn." He says as his lips just barely leave yours. "I can't deny a man his movie and snacks, now, can I?" You joke, grabbing a bowl to pour the popped kernels into and walking back to the living room with your boyfriend's hands wrapped protectively around your waist.

That protective arm never moves. Laying behind your head as you watch the movie at first, and then halfway through, it pulls you into his lap and wraps you, pressing you further into his touch. Head resting against his chest where you can hear the rhythmic beat of his heart, causing your eyes to flutter and the deep darkness of sleep to take you away.

Completed on: 01/23/24

Posted on: 03/02/24

TLOU-

[miltonlibassistantn1fan]

my particular flavor of objectum brainrot goes crazy with marathon because likr

durandal sword motifs. Like robot Durandal is so good but like.

Sword Durandal. No robot body just. Sword. He gets peeved if Mjolnir doesn't take him along. He loves being used as a weapon. Next to Mjolnirs shotguns he's the best weapon in any situation....

Indestructible. But always needs a little love at the end of the day. His edge needs some care and he needs a new coat of oil to be as shiny as he was before he was soaked in the blood of an enemy

Sorry I'm normal

[red-hemlock]

"Love Story with Zsasz" (good lort, sorry River, lmao)

Send “love story with ____” for my muse’s reaction on finding a romantic fanfiction about themselves paired with that character @sanguine-salvation

"Goodness, there's really more under this thing? Maybe I should change my name, and splurge for a brand new look." But alright, who's the next 'lucky duck' to be sacrificed upon the Altar of Ship with another piece of her sanity?

...Viktor Zsasz.

Okay-... She can kind-of see why some heart-eyed Gotham shipper might want to pair the two of them up. They both like knives, they both like knifing things, they both probably dance and finger-paint a little in the bloody-red aftermath. Tale as old as time and all of that good jazz, what more could a super-fun relationship need?

But is the fic any good? Now that's the million dollar question... Though considering Wattpad was batting 0-2 in her tag right now, River's not sure how much lower the bar can even go at this point.

"Well, here goes nothing, I suppose." She muses with a soul-steeling sigh, tentatively clicking the title.

But in the end, to her absolute shock, it was-... Quite the good read. Amazing even, considering the competition raised against it. A multi-chapter cross-over set in the world of that crazy car movie her daughter wanted to watch, Mad Max: Fury Road. It had the knives and knifing, madness and blood by the bucketful of course, as she and Zsasz wrested control of some clan called The Buzzards from their former leader.

Two Warlords, tearing across the dusty desert dunes in rusted, spike-covered Hell-cars. Raising chaos and the group up from the muck, from crusty scavengers into the greatest and most fearsome faction the Wasteland had ever seen. Sure, there might've been one too many hot n' handsy make-out sessions over corpses, that were more tooth than tongue; and the whole part of them choosing to die together, in a Bond-esque explosion-death ending was a bit ill-fitting. But at this point, River's just happy to see that neither of them were insultingly woobified; it could've been so much worse.

Witness them, indeed.

River never backed-out of a website so fast, how quick she was to pull-up her text messages.

2:30am [Tally Apple]: Hey.

2:30am [Tally Apple]: Hey you! ᕕ༼⌐■-■༽ᕗ

2:31am [Tally Apple]: Sleep is for the weak lookit this now [LINK]

2:33am [Tally Apple]: Be my hypothetical apocalypse bestie, Y/Y? I'll let you sit shotgun sometimes. ( ͡° ε ͡°)♥

[blindrapture]

SUNDAY JUNE 5TH, 2011 (WOMP WOMP)

4:30 AM I’ve slept plenty. Now I’m ready to go and do shit.

4:36 AM I’m gonna take a walk around this town, see what’s there to see.

5:29 AM Hello, handsome. I found a mirror in a shop. A big mirror. Y’know, I didn’t realize I looked so damn good in this white suit. The actual jacket is more of a light-blue colour, but I guess it’s to set me apart from most white-suit folk. I think Mistress really thought this outfit through. It’s like.. a proper disguise. After all this killing, nobody’s gonna recognize me because I’ll be wearing all black and carrying a guitar controller! I gotta try not to get blood all over the suit.

5:41 AM …no way. You have got to be shitting me, this can’t possibly be real. This is a fucking CD shop.

5:53 AM Sunsetters’ No Entry, Genesis’ Abacab, and I decided to give Bonnjo Vjonsped’s experimental years a try with Womp Womp. I dunno, it looks interesting. Luckily, in Rapture, there’s no worry about paying for shit. >w>

5:59 AM Went back to my car. Gonna listen to this shit on that music player, so I can play it super-loud and not wake people up. Let’s try Womp Womp.

6:19 AM WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP Take the bass Rock the place Kick the space In the face With a taste Of your case Of Bud Lite taste AND THE PARTY GOES WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP 7:10 AM Okay, that was about as close to the music of the gods as anything could get without being progressive rock. That was legitimately amazing. I’m tired. I’ve been dancing too much. I’m gonna go back to the hotel.

7:28 AM There’s that little kid again. He’s just sitting, cross-legged, in the hallway. He’s looking at me, and he’s smiling. It’s an innocent smile, but I can see something behind it. Like he knows something. And he’s just.. waiting. ..I’m gonna wait in the bar.

7:31 AM Bar’s fairly quiet, no doubt because it’s this early.

7:47 AM Ferdinando came in. He’s sitting nearby, minding his own. I don’t think I’ll use my crowbar for this. I’m gonna take a glass. Tall glass. ..fuck, I don’t know how the hell I’m gonna make it out of this. I do not look forward to it.

8:25 AM I was so barbaric He wasn’t a monster and I was so barbaric

9:56 AM Hiding. Found a house. Hiding. Oh god, I must have gotten the whole town after me. I think Ferdinando was the messenger they were sending to Manresa. I’m gonna.. I’m just gonna rest a bit. Just a bit.

12:03 PM ..motherfucker where’s my car where is my car No no no nooo oh god no, all my prog was in there I’m.. no. No, just no no, no please, I can’t do this, my prog. ._. Oh god.

12:07 PM …false alarm, I just remembered I took all my CDs into the house with me. BUT STILL. My car! Looks like I’m back to walking.

12:34 PM Like before, I have no idea where I’m going now. I mean, I know I’m going to Manresa, but I have no idea where that is. I guess I’ll just keep following this road.

3:01 PM God, it’s getting hot.

5:22 PM I’ve noticed that there have been a lot less crazy monsters ever since I left Blackpool. I almost miss them. It’s better than all this boredom.

8:49 PM I’m getting very tired. I’m just gonna.. stop in this house here. And sleep.

8:57 PM FUCK RUN RUN OH GODDD RUN RUN RUN

9:14 PM There were people there, oh my god. They answered the door with a shotgun. And said “Dios mio, el bufon blanco!” I guess that’s my name now. The white buffoon.

9:32 PM Another house. I’m gonna try this one.

9:40 PM Empty, completely empty. Perfect. I’m gonna get some shut-eye, then. Hopefully tomorrow will be better than today was.

(Attached: “While Womp Womp wasn’t the first instance of dubstep in the music world, it was probably the funniest. Bonnjo Vjonsped are the world’s dumbest metal band. Their name is pronounced ‘Bon Jovi on speed,’ a pronunciation that literally makes no sense when you look at the way it’s spelled and think about it for a second. They spent most of their years in obscurity, though Womp Womp was met on release with a warm reception since no one had heard of these guys so the critics assumed the album was a parody. The cheesy lyrics were quite serious, I assure you. I’ve met the guys.”)

[PREV LOG] [TABLE OF CONTENTS] [NEXT LOG]

[sporadicarbitergardener]

October 3, 2023

Lil Feleta.

One thing about family it changes as life goes on, one thing about loyalty you never let a new bitch bring ya baby momma's name into shit.

Also when you fucking with someone you allow them to vent into you. Without ever giving up there past or life or even blood history because at the end of the day last names holds alot of stories that alot of peopled don't realize we are all victims of abuse as life goes on. Right now America is going through times of welcoming new people into our Native Lands and jobs are hard to find right now because even on open WIFI network you don't have security to put your social security number on the web also never let your baby daddy ask for your child's social security over the phone because then the recordings are used with another female that wants to play "momma:. When the reality is alot of women use men to gain power when power is within yourself because economics are becoming very hard as well because of debt and over taxation on the working class as well.

People of even the past will even bringing up old secrets between friends to throw the mother of a child into a prison because a baby daddy will do jail talk and now its the time of the dwelling because friends turn into enemies' and replicate the past back into the future.

Now I am looked at wrong because even my child's father was snitching the entire time in prison not understadning everything you say in jail comes back out into the streets and well the DA likes to do a "charge" all because a babys father wanted to bring a double barral rifle shotgun around her at 8 months old. It got tossed away from my child into the hands of Tyler Vincent out of 407 Hawthorne, Abbeville . La because at the time he was 19 and his family was being nosey because we wanted to move and his family was getting mad because we wanted privacy back in the day from mental anguish and lies. His grandparents use to taunt him and ......... because they like making people feel less of themselves by judging every woman that goes into that family because in their eyes " No woman" will ever be good enough for any of the sons because of the way they speak. Even like bringing up a name of the mother of my child's father . Jessica Hebert and taunt about her past as well when the DA forced her to get married at 14 because they manipulated her into marrying into more mental abuse than she had to go through before . She went through a break up in early 2002 and Connie Vincent and Tommy Vincent played like they cared about Jessica hebert after she was hurt and left and also judged as a bad mother because she had 2 children before the age of 15 . Even getting to know her over the years and also even when her son was locked up she always checked on me and made sure I was safe because she saw me as a "daughter" she never had real family.Everyone in her family even always told her no to coming home because she was always judged by her past as well. She made mistakes but the only time her children ever call her is when they want something as well.

Love is easy , letting go of the past is as well. Screenshots will never prove anything because a voice is a bigger statement than what any "RIco Story or even a past can tell".

If you and your baby daddy split up and your a baby momma. Let him have peace in his life without using his children to hurt him. Women will always be looked at as evil because they use diagnoses and even lies from people with degrees to say if a human beings statement is true. Everyone feels owed some thing . People will look you in the face and even smile and say sorry and will act like its womans fault of rape.

A womans job is to embrace a mans pain and not respond but study how your man reacts. Each man is different. As long as a man comes home to you everyday you have no reason to be jealousy. Its crazy when a "woman" or "female" gets jelouse over a man's child's mother especially because they want "Mental Restitution". I want alot of things. RIght now I am trusting the wisdom I have seen in my life and leaving it all be because at the end of the day you be suprised what a person can do behind a keyboard. Always being told " You need medicine." No wrong people need to wake up. Women watch your old man or boyfriends or even husband because right now its "Whore season, you owe me something bs." Don't mean to speak of it like that but it is truth. Screen shots will never prove shit because at the end of the day you need a written statement . Going around someone and recording them while they speak is werid also while playing "Oh my God." Sex trafficking is when a man takes adavantage of a women for her weakness and uses her it actually does matter when there's a difference in size of a person's height for intimidation.

Vibes tell a bigger story than anyone else. There is a God above watching because when a baby daddy brings shit to court the judge will open up alot of shit to bring up a past and even use it against a mother because state of Louisiana looks at mothers as it will always be our fault. No some mothers want to give the father of their child a chance but if a child says no to going visit there father they shouldn't have to. Healthy relationships are from within. You never take advantage of a child's voice. I spoke up Dec 24, 2012 , September 16, 2014 and also two other dates.

State of Louisiana drops the charges to give them a chance to be able to fix a mistake they made and sometimes as you grow older into maturity even as a woman at 24 years old learn the hard way that no matter what you do as a woman its your job to watch your own back because when the glue of the family dies . Your own blood will even share your information trying to deem you as something your not and alot of times women will always be hated because its easy to place a man in Jail over "False" and coached statements.

The mother's of a child should be allowed to meat the other parents spouse marriage or not because its respect. You don't take advantaged of you baby mothers kindness to "build" something when you had another girl the whole time.

If I was to go to court I would break a girls heart bad because the truth hurts about shit. At the end of the day a promise is a promise. Some females need to learn that "Oh I want you ." "Oh I love you." is lies real love is always having the other parents back even after they crossed you wrong even after they played in your face and they bring shit around you around your child. Louisiana loves looking back into old DCFS statements but alot of times Children are even coached by their own mothers to speak lies on people because of hatred either towards the woman they are with, or even past family's history's.

Women are all beautiful all shapes and sizes. Being small is beautiful as well hatred and jealousy is taught by behavior and also by even genetics sometimes. You have the power to take control of your mind. Nothing wrong with being open minded because this is my 4rth time in life with tribulations and now even as a woman it will never be your fault you were raped.

Women play victim alot . By truth when I was abducted from Transcontintal 06/06-07/2023 it was either be raped or killed.

Rape is rape no matter what form , shape or matter. Girls are overdramatic and extra sometimes . Sometimes instead of taking medication and letting everyone say that " your crazy" "your Evil' "You have no rights. Women have more rights than we think alot of times its hard to prove our worth when we allow someone to have mental control or even access to the mindframe , Love is unconditional , forgiving and letting go.

Sometimes its better to let it out on a screen as anonymous than to ever pour it into a man.

By truth men are more emotional than women because pride takes longer to build but just as easy to break as trust.

Women have pride as well. You keep that pride to yourself.

#louisiana #Womensrights #Music #Love #Power #womenempowerment #Nomorechildsupport #Love #Peace #Harmony #Kindness #Sun #moon #love

[bigcheesespookyness]

Evil Dead

The beginning of the movie does a really good job of setting up the characters. The first thing we meet is evil killing three people in a lake which was obviously a call back to the og. Also having the girl named Jessica float over the water as the title shows up was just awesome.

Same with the opening camera transition that is evil always loved how it looked. Then you meet the Aunt known as Beth in a concert bathroom taking a pregnancy test. You find out later that she is pregnant and its the reason she visits her sister. Which then cuts to the middle child Bridget. You can tell is quirky and has strong moral values because she goes to protests. You meet the older brother Danny who gets lost in his music and is adventurous. you meet Casey next who is a weird youngest child who believes in ghosts and even has a plan for them. Which is cutting off a baby doll's head and putting it on a stick. Also afraid of water. Then you get a rough breakdown of the mother named Ellie whose husband is no longer in her kids' lives and she has to take care of them. Also doesn't have the best relationship with her sister. for the whole first thirty minutes, it's trying to establish characters and once they are Evil shows up. They think it was an earthquake that created a hole in the parking garage. Of course, Danny goes to explore from here on out he becomes my least favorite. If you have seen the original the Necronomicon makes you follow to where the book is which is what it did to Danny. He finds a record and a creepy photo of a priest and a statue of Jesus Jump scares him. Almost like it was warning him. One of the reasons I don't like Danny is he was surrounded by a room full of crosses yet decided to take stuff from that location which excuse my French IS FUCKING STUPID!!!

I wanted the clip but couldn't find one that exactly showed all the stuff. They all meet up with their mom. After that, Danny and Bridget look through the book only after Danny gets his blood on it. Bridget gets scared of the book and closes it Danny gets more interested in it Bridget wants it gone first thing in the morning. Danny F's around and finds out by playing the record which of course unleashes the evil. https://youtu.be/7jRRIYxC5jg?si=KNdhPA9sThCULY2i. Mother gets killed by an elevator and it is alive. Mother is now a deadite but they never call it this term just the classics did. They think the mother is dead and bring her to her bed when two characters don't matter and can't remember the name because the only said it once and missed it. Their two purposes are to die find out the mothers religion and introduce the boom stick or shotgun. they leave and Ellie awakens and burning up which causes them to put her into a bath. The Deadite does its thing doing all these crazy movements.

From this point on all my stuff got deleted while I was doing this post so it might not be nearly as specific you can thank Tumblr. Ellie kills the two guys who just brought weapons. Gets locked out. Tries to convince Casey with the classic I'm still here troupe that evil dead always does. https://youtu.be/8BQtvFsAhvQ?si=wE-okoxzueavYhx1 And just cause I thought it was great how unhinged the Deadites are. https://youtu.be/XGeKRcccwgQ?si=o6R0poWlWFfQSAWs. Bridget also starts to turn which brings in the Academic source thank you creepy catalog. "The reason could be that the fear of becoming possessed is heightened by an injury, and the fear is what really lets the demon inside" (Chris Catt) So Bridget goes and starts eating glass https://youtu.be/yH736-qHoL0?si=ymdCa3n-JmSz8L3O. This image will be in my nightmares for two nights. Bridget hurts Beth and then goes after Casey which then she stabs her in the head with the doll protecty thing. They seal her up and Beth tells Danny to show the record they don't have power so Beth does some MacGyver thing and starts to listen to it in a different room from the kids. Here is where the movie starts to die off you find out in the recording that you have to completely cut off their head arms and legs and Beth doesn't do that till the very end which ticks me off. It literally tells her. Bridget wakes up again going after Casey Danny pushes her out of the way and stabs Bridget. She immediately takes out the knife and stabs him in the arm he fights and never gets scared once. Even setting Bridget on fire. Danny became awesome just to die literally after this scene. Don't worry he comes back and just like all dead people they become Deadites. Also didn't know he was trans found that up looking for this photo so cool fact.

The record also tells Beth to run so once Danny the person dies Beth grabs Casey and tries to get out of there. Trying the fire escape which is still locked. Finds the shotgun on the ground and as the conformed mother-son-daughter Deadite goes after them they go into the elevator. Which is alive if you can remember and tries to drown them in blood which ends up failing. they rush to the car and are still getting followed by the group Deadite. Which then introduces a wood chipper and a chainsaw Groovy. After no stop action, a chainsaw goes into the head of the mother and they get swallowed whole by the wood chipper. https://youtu.be/QmTOJSD0XYg?si=fWMK7mjMV-E1IwC9. That unfortunately was not the ending because then we meet Jessica and remember her well evil follows her and is back into the world yet again. The movie comes full circle. As an Enjoyment, I give it an 8.5 as a movie I give it a 7 the characters were just way too stupid, and even though the action was amazing I just disliked a lot of things. It has potential but in my opinion, needs Bruce Campbell to pass the torch in the actual movie.

[heartsoulrocknroll]

ROH Final Battle 12/10/22

Mercedes Martinez (c) vs. Athena for the ROH Women's World Championship -- This was a really awkward match. I couldn't get into it. Athena has some good stuff here. Nice powerbomb. Athena gets the pinfall with a big shotgun dropkick that sends Mercedes' head into the turnbuckle, followed by an O-Face. Glad to see Athena win a championship.

Daniel Garcia (c) vs. Wheeler Yuta for the ROH Pure Championship -- Garcia lands a closed-fist punch to Yuta's face right off the bat and gets a warning!!! Yuta returns the favor and gets a warning as well!! Damn!!!!!!!! Garcia throws Yuta into the ring steps on the outside! Nasty chops from Garcia. Garcia removes the turnbuckle pad, drives Yuta's head into the exposed buckle, and steps on his head! Garcia locks in a sleeper on Yuta in the ropes, forcing Yuta to use a rope break! Garcia then locks in a surfboard on Yuta with his arms around the ropes, forcing another rope break!!!! Brilliant! Garcia locks in a dragon sleeper, and Yuta goes to the ropes, using his last rope break! Garcia with a deep Sharpshooter! Yuta counters into a cross face!!!! Garcia goes for the Sharpshooter again, but Yuta smoothly reverses into a roll up! Garcia kicks out! They trade headbutts and palm strikes! German suplex and Samoan Drop by Yuta, but Garica kicks out! Cross body from the top by Yuta! Garcia gets the knees up and lands a piledriver, but Yuta kicks out! Garcia locks the Sharpshooter back in, and Yuta has no rope breaks!!! Yuta crawls toward the apron!! As Garcia leans back to lock the hold in deeper, Yuta gets his arm around Garcia's neck in a choke and takes his fingers to the nose and eyes of Garcia!!! Damn! They trade strikes on the apron! Garcia goes for a piledriver on the apron, but Yuta reverses into a big back body drop!! Back in the ring, Garcia flips Yuta off, and Yuta responds with a huge kick and a Tombstone with Garcia's legs trapped! Garcia kicks out! Yuta traps Garcia's arm and lays in the hammer and anvil elbows until Garcia goes out!!!!! Damn!!! That rocked!!! Great, intense back and forth action. Loved the story of Garcia taking every potential advantage away from Yuta early in the match, baiting him into using his one closed fist warning and forcing him to use all his rope breaks. Loved the finish with Yuta knocking Garcia's lights out! Both guys looked great here. Two-time Pure Champ Wheeler Yuta!!!

FTR (c) vs. The Briscoes for the ROH Tag Team Championship -- Dax hurls a chair at Jay's head! Dax grinds the chain across Jay's face in the ring. Doomsday Device by FTR! Mark kicks out! Cash lock in a Gory Special on Mark, choking him with the chain at the same time!!! Dax with a diving headbutt to Jay from the top with the chain wrapped around his own head! Huge side suplex from Cash to mark on apron!!!!! Oh my god!!! Cash absolutely slings Mark off the top rope with the chain! Mark lands on his back on a pile of chairs on the floor!!!! Holy shit!!!!! Huge Jay Driller to Dax in the ring!!!!! Dax kicks out! Jay nails Dax with a chair three times! Dax lands a piledriver on Jay in a chair!!! Everyone is bleeding!!!! Including the ref!!!!!!!! Cash throws all the chairs from the outside into the ring. Dax puts Jay on the top rope! Huge chops from Dax!! Jay superplexes Dax on the chairs!!!! Dax kicks out! Jay wraps the chain around Dax's face and neck and wrenches back!! Dax goes out!!! New champs!!! What a match!!!!! This was crazy!!!! Spots galore, blood everywhere, and great wrestling to tie it all together. Just incredible. These guys have amazing chemistry.

The Gunns attack FTR after the match. Who could care about this after that amazing match?

Samoa Joe (c) vs. Juice Robinson for the ROH World Television Championship -- Solid match here. Great to see Juice. Joe looks awesome here, as usual. He retains with Muscle Buster.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Claudio Castagnoli for the ROH World Championship -- Claudio throws Jericho all over the outside! Claudio lands the Neutralizer less than two minutes in?!!!! Jericho kicks out. Gut wrench slam off the top rope by Claudio! Pop-up uppercut by Claudio! Jerichon kicks out! Jericho springboards off the rope for a kick, but Claudio intercepts with a short, hard uppercut! Damn! Suplex off the apron to the floor from Jericho to Claudio! They trade chops and uppercuts! Jericho pokes the eye! Claudio grabs Jericho in the Giant Swing position, but Jericho reverses into the Walls! Claudio to the ropes! Menard and Parker come out to give the bat to Jericho! Jericho nails Claudio with the bat!!! Claudio kicks out! Inside cradle gets Claudio two! Codebreaker by Jericho! Jericho goes for a Judas Effect, but Claudio blocks it and gets Jericho into the Giant Swing! He swings Jericho around about 20 times! This crowd cannot count!! Jericho taps out to the Swing????!!!! Wtf???? Loool. Weird finish to a good match, but hell yeah, Claudio is the new champ!!!!!

[amostdelectablescribbler]

i am decent at writing and winning fights and have an opinion.

as a followup to 1b) in Jujutsu Kaisen, explaining a technique amplifies it’s power, so this is not always true, but it depends on your worldbuilding and system

This is long, so only read if you wanna learn about some fighting stuff or are curious.

1: You don’t have to write the mental battle, that bit happens before all the fighting. The battle of the mind is the staredown, in which both combatants look each other in the eye and try to intimidate the opponent

2: in the heat of adrenaline you are not thinking. Neither is the other guy. I also think it’s relevant to say that fighting requires the work to be put in before the fight, with training and sparring and practice.

3: bareknuckle punches hurt, and untrained fighters can break their wrists punching bareknuckle, as well as the opponent’s face. Throw some elbows in the mix, as they hurt less to hit people with and hurt a bunch with little damage and lots of bleeding (look at Rodtang’s fights. Lots of elbows and blood)

4: fighting is reeeeaaaaalllyyy tiring. Most of the time, an unofficial or impromptu street brawl won’t be any longer than 5 minutes, because the combatant’s don’t have the conditioning. After three minutes of Judo at a tournament-level intensity, it gets hard to hold your arms up and move like you did at the start of the round. You will get really tired really fast, and so punches will slow down or get wilder as the fight goes on, as many fights in the professional level are won by conditioning, not pure strength, as the athletes are roughly the same weight class.

5: Weight Matters. A guy who weighs 70kg(~160lbs for you ‘Mericans) is gonna ragdoll a guy who weighs 50kg (~125lbs), but the 50kg guy is gonna be a good bit quicker. Also, the 70kg guy going up against a 90kg (~200lbs) guy; the bigger guy won’t even feel the 70kg’s punches. He won’t be able to dodge, as he’ll be slower than the lighter fighter, but he only needs to land one big blow to fold the 70kg fighter like an omelette, while the little guy has to constantly nail him in the jaw and the temple to fell the bigger guy.

5.5: Biology matters too. A big guy with big long arms full of muscle, and regular sized legs will be better at punching hard and blocking than a smaller girl with longer, meatier legs, while the girl will be much better at kicking and dodging with long levers to throw her weight around on. 5.6: men by default are stronger than women. A woman who trains hard will not be nearly as strong as a man who trains just as hard. I don’t mean moving the same weights, i mean in terms of effort. If she can bench 100kg for reps, and he’s never touched a barbell in his life, that man is gonna get lamped. Women have naturally stronger legs compared to their upper bodies, while men have roughly the same leg strength out of the box, but with much stronger arms. A bottom-heavy lady with long legs will kick like a freight train and punch like, well, a girl. A big guy shaped like a dorito is gonna punch like a bus, but won’t be as stable during kicks. 6: Kicks>punches in terms of damage. By a lot. Your legs are crazy strong next to your arms and shoulders, so kicks will fold you in half and send you into a wall, while punches will only make your shoulders touch in the middle. There’s more to strike with than fists and kicks are your sniper rifle: slow and clunky but accurate and devastating. Punches are more like a pistol for your jab and a shotgun for your cross/overarm.

how to write fight scenes

many people have told me that Chum has good fight scenes. a small subset of those people have asked me on advice for how to write fight scenes. i am busy procrastinating, so i have distilled my general ethos on fight scenes into four important points. followed by a homework assignment.

Fight scenes take place on two axii - the physical and the intellectual. For the most interesting fight scenes, neither character should have a full inventory of the other's abilities, equipment, fighting style, etc. This gives you an opportunity to pull out surprises, but, more importantly, turns each fight into a jockeying of minds, as all characters involved have to puzzle out what's going on in real time. This is especially pertinent for settings with power systems. It feels more earned if the characters are trying to deduce the limitations and reach of the opponent's power rather than the opponent simply explaining it to them (like in Bleach. Don't do that). 1a. Have characters be incorrect in their assumptions sometimes, leading to them making mistakes that require them to correct their internal models of an opponent under extreme pressure. 1b. If you really have to have a character explain their powers to someone there should be a damn good reason for it. The best reason is "they are lying". The second best reason is "their power requires it for some reason".

Make sure your blows actually have weight. When characters are wailing at each other for paragraphs and paragraphs and nothing happens, it feels like watching rock 'em sock 'em robots. They beat each other up, and then the fight ends with a decisive blow. Not interesting! Each character has goals that will influence what their victory condition is, and each character has a physical body that takes damage over the course of a fight. If someone is punched in the gut and coughs up blood, that's an injury! It should have an impact on them not just for the fight but long term. Fights that go longer than "fist meets head, head meets floor" typically have a 'break-down' - each character getting sloppier and weaker as they bruise, batter, and break their opponent, until victory is achieved with the last person standing. this keeps things tense and interesting.

I like to actually plan out my fight scenes beat for beat and blow for blow, including a: the thought process of each character leading to that attempted action, b: what they are trying to do, and c: how it succeeds or fails. In fights with more than two people, I like to use graph paper (or an Excel spreadsheet with the rows turned into squares) to keep track of positions and facings over time.

Don't be afraid to give your characters limitations, because that means they can be discovered by the other character and preyed upon, which produces interesting ebbs and flows in the fight. A gunslinger is considerably less useful in a melee with their gun disarmed. A swordsman might not know how to box if their sword is destroyed. If they have powers, consider what they have to do to make them activate, if it exhausts them to use, how they can be turned off, if at all. Consider the practical applications. Example: In Chum, there are many individuals with pyrokinetic superpowers, and none of them have "think something on fire" superpowers. Small-time filler villain Aaron McKinley can ignite anything he's looking at, and suddenly the fight scenes begin constructing themselves, as Aaron's eyes and the direction of his gaze become an incredibly relevant factor.

if you have reached this far in this essay I am giving you homework. Go watch the hallway fight in Oldboy and then novelize it. Then, watch it again every week for the rest of your life, and you will become good at writing fight scenes.

as with all pieces of advice these are not hard and fast rules (except watching the oldboy hallway fight repeatedly) but general guidelines to be considered and then broken when it would produce an interesting outcome to do so.

okay have a good day

[fezco-youphoria]

Family

a/n: idrk what this drabble is but i kinda like it

summary: Fez will do anything to protect his family…

pairing: Fezco x reader

You’re hanging out in the living room with Ash, watching TV and waiting for Fez to come back home. He’s been out for a few hours. You have no idea where he went or what he was doing, but deep down you know it’s something bad.

Fez has been quietly on edge since his last visit with his supplier Laurie a few days ago. During the meeting, Laurie informed Fez that Rue owes her $10,000 for a suitcase of drugs and now she can’t track Rue down. She asked Fez if he knew where Rue was, reminding him that he had called her family when they first met. Fez hasn’t spoken to Rue since her relapse when he had to physically kick her out of his house. Even if he did know where Rue was, he wouldn’t tell Laurie. He’s no snitch.

In an unnervingly calm manner, Laurie told Fez that if he doesn’t help her find Rue or get her money then she would go after someone else in his family. She knows that Ash is more than just Fez’s business partner. Fez loved Ash like a brother. Laurie explained that her men have no problem hurting kids.

And then, Laurie casually name dropped you. She knew your full name and that you lived with Fez. Laurie mentioned that you were cute and she could make a lot of money off of you. If anything, Laurie always finds a way to make her money back…

When Laurie threatened you and Ash, Fez almost lost it. He wasn’t going to let Laurie or the crazy dudes that work for her go after you guys. And despite everything, Fez would never rat out Rue. He needed to protect the people he cares about, so he figured out a way to get extra cash and pay off his supplier. He didn’t tell you his plan and you knew well enough not to ask too many questions.

Whatever your boyfriend is doing, he’s doing it alone. Fez didn’t bring Ash along because he wanted his little brother to look after you and guard the house. Laurie knows Fez’s address and he’s nervous that she will send some of her guys over. If Fez can’t be there, the only person he trusts to protect you is Ash.

Although Ash would never admit this out loud, he loves you like family. He sees you as a big sister and has become just as protective of you as he is of his older brother. And right now, Ash looks like he’s about to go to war for you. He has a shotgun propped against the couch right next to him, ready to grab at a moment's notice.

While waiting for Fez, you and Ash have been watching some reality show about tattoo artists in Los Angeles. You turned it on because it sounded like something Ash might enjoy, but you both actually got really into it. You’ve been binging the show for the past few hours and judging all the tattoos the artists have done.

“That looks awful. What the fuck was he thinking?” Ash snickers.

“Right? I think you would’ve done a much better job giving the tattoo than that guy,” you tell Ash.

Fez finally returns home late at night. The first thing he hears when he walks through the door is you and Ash laughing in the other room. Fez can’t help but smile to himself. He loves that you’re close with Ash. You two are the most important people in Fez’s life.

Fez locks up the front door and goes to the living room to join you and Ash. As soon as you see Fez walk in, you jump off the couch and rush up to him. You’re so happy he’s ok.

“Hey,” you greet your boyfriend with an embrace.

“Hey baby,” he softly replies, hugging you back.

After a beat, you both pull away.

“You get it done?” Ash asks his brother, cutting right to the chase.

Fez nods. He takes stacks of cash out of his duffle bag and tosses them onto the table. Ash notices blood on a few of the bills and exchanges a knowing look with Fez. Then you see the blood. You take a deep breath and decide to change the subject-

“So, Ash and I were watching this show about a tattoo parlor in LA. Wanna watch with us?” you smile.

Fez’s eyes light up. After the night he’s had, all he wants to do right now chill out with you two.

“Yeah, word.”

You sit back down on the couch and your boyfriend joins you. You and Ash continue commenting on the tattoo artists’ work and Fez holds you close to him. He’s finally able to relax. This right here is everything Fez was protecting when he went out tonight. He did a bad thing but he’ll do anything for you guys. You’re his family.