#BJJ frustration

[tysonfurybattlepass]

What kinds of martial arts/fighting do you do? I've always been interested in stuff like that but I'm really short and petite. It doesn't seem possible for me to do.

haha, you’ve come to the right place. i’m 5’3 (160cm) and at my highest ever weight right now, a whopping 115lb (about 52kg). ive been training for over a decade now and competing/teaching almost as long so I’m Your Guy lol

i started with brazilian jiujitsu when i was thirteen. i thought it would be fun and i wanted to strengthen my heart and lungs, as i was a frail victorian waif with pots and asthma. started with once a week, fell in love, and soon was clocking in an hour or two five days a week. i exclusively trained and competed in bjj for 3-4years before i decided i was done being bad at standup fighting so i added in muay thai. fell in love with that too. competed in a couple national tournaments and took third and second. post-covid, hopped into boxing. my most impressive achievements are on that stage imo, having taken gold and silver in two regional tournaments last year (gold/silver match was against the same opponent both times! so i guess that makes us even…) just recently started seriously building my standing-grappling game (which is still weak rip) by adding in freestyle wrestling and judo. i train and spar mma regularly, but have not competed under that ruleset.

so to answer your question: i do a little bit of everything.

some advice from a small but determined combat athlete:

1. being smaller than your training partners and opponents is frustrating. it is disheartening. people will get away with doing shit that is objectively bad and wrong on you because they can brute force it. it’s not because you aren’t good enough. there are also ways to mitigate this:

2. as a small person, your assets will be precise technique, accurate timing, agility, and endurance. because you are small, you will naturally be more technically competent. if you do something wrong against someone bigger than you, it simply won’t work. thus, you will have more incentive to do it right! once you build up to a consistent training schedule, you will have better movement and endurance than a bigger person because you simply have less weight to move. ergo, moving yourself is an easier task. use this to your advantage. wether the storm until big boy gets tired and then tool him around👍

3. this applies to exercise in general and i cannot stress it enough: do not go hard at first. do not jump into the deep end. start out with two classes a week. ideally 45min-1hr classes, on different days, with at least one rest day in between. your body needs time to adapt to new workloads, or else you’ll just be hurt and sore and burned out. do that until it feels easy! then bump it to four days a week, which is when you’ll start to see real technical progress.

4. establish your goals for training before you commit to anything! are you looking for fitness? competition? self-defense? or are you just trying to have fun? each sport offers different benefits and potential drawbacks. i’d be happy to elaborate more on that if you wish. feel free to ask about whatever you’re interested in and i can recommend what to look for :3

combat sports is half my personality and the entirety of my irl social life nowadays. 10/10 would do again despite mild ouchie and being tired a lot

[trivalentlinks]

.

started doing mma (mixed martial arts, aka that thing from the tap out job) again after a multi-year hiatus and wow

i'd forgotten how much i loved this, or maybe i just like it more than i used to--

this is certainly true for kickboxing (kickboxing and bjj (grappling) are the main components of mma); i remember last time i didn't like kickboxing and only went when i wanted a workout and the bjj classes didn't fit my schedule

but this time i think i actually like kickboxing just as much as bjj, if not more--there's something about punching/kicking/elbowing a heavy bag as hard as you can repeatedly that's so cathartic actually

(i think the problem was my previous gym put so much emphasis on partner drills where you can't use full force; this gym does partner drills, too, but only for like 20% of class; most of class is bag-work, and after a frustrating day at work that feels so good)

and as for bjj... i think i am realizing that i've been touch starved. not in general (so lucky to have a partner of similar tactileness) but for a very specific kind of touch that looks something like this

you know. competitive hugging as a woman at my gym calls it

(unrelatedly, she's super cool: a larger woman (i could barely wrap my arms around her midsection), but she knows how to use it, and also she is fast and very strong and has amazing balance, certainly not one to be underestimated. also she got into bjj because her daughter was doing mma, and she wanted to see what it was all about, but now she's much more into it than her daughter, and just.

heart-eyes. what a mom. everyone else i know who's done mma has told me that their mom's reaction was more along the lines of 'ew. why are you doing this. how uncivilized')

though also

i'd forgotten about the injuries >:(

kickboxing bruises up and down my shins and the tops of my feet (from kicking the bag) and also on the sides of my thighs (from being kicked in partner drills),

did something to my shoulder a couple weeks ago landing wrong from a throw (my last gym didn't really do take-downs, so i'm not great at landing safe),

and now i have a sprained wrist from being rolled over it wrong in bjj a few days ago

but honestly all i can think about is how many days before i can go back to mma (doctor says 1-2 weeks, but by then i'm going to be at a conference, so it's more like 3.5 weeks (T_T))

[thomasczerniejewski]

Overcommitting to Submissions Without Proper Control in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu by Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Buffs including Thomas Czerniejewski

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is a martial art centered around leverage, technique, and control. While submissions are a key element of BJJ, overcommitting to them without maintaining proper control can often lead to mistakes and lost positions. This issue is particularly common among beginners, but even advanced practitioners can fall victim to the temptation of chasing a submission at the expense of positional control. This blog explores why overcommitting to submissions without proper control is problematic, how it can affect your performance, and how to avoid this mistake to become a more effective BJJ practitioner.

The Importance of Control in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu

In BJJ, control is the foundation of all techniques. It is not enough to simply achieve a dominant position or lock in a submission. The ability to maintain control ensures that your opponent cannot escape, improve their position, or counter your move. Control allows you to set up submissions more efficiently, as a well-controlled position gives you the time and space to apply pressure gradually. Without control, even a perfectly executed submission attempt can fail, leaving you vulnerable to sweeps or counters.

Positions such as side control, mount, and back control are all examples where control is critical. A submission, when attempted from these positions, should be a natural progression, not the main focus as emphasized by Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu enthusiasts like Thomas Czerniejewski. Without solid control, an attempt to submit can create openings for your opponent to escape or reverse the situation. This is why BJJ practitioners are taught to value control first, as it provides the opportunity for more successful submission attempts and better overall positional dominance.

Chasing Submissions Leads to Vulnerability

One of the most common mistakes in BJJ, especially among beginners, is the habit of overcommitting to submissions. When practitioners focus too much on finishing a submission, they can lose sight of the fundamentals of position, timing, and leverage. In these situations, they may sacrifice a dominant position in order to chase a submission that isn’t fully locked in. This can leave them open to sweeps, reversals, or submissions from their opponent.

For example, if a practitioner tries to force a submission from a bad position, like attempting a guillotine from bottom guard, the effort may tire them out or expose them to a counter. When control is not prioritized, the opponent can easily capitalize on these mistakes. Overcommitting can also result in a practitioner losing their balance or energy as noted by Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu buffs such as Thomas Czerniejewski, leading to more mistakes. This is why BJJ emphasizes patience and understanding the process of positional control before submission. It is essential to know when to transition to a submission and when to remain in control for a safer, more effective attack.

The Balance Between Aggression and Control

To avoid overcommitting to submissions, it’s important to strike a balance between aggression and control. While it’s natural to want to submit an opponent quickly, especially in competition, rushing into submissions without control can often result in frustration and mistakes. A controlled approach to submissions is more effective because it minimizes risk and maximizes efficiency as highlighted by Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu enthusiasts including Thomas Czerniejewski.

In practice, this balance can be honed by focusing on positional progression rather than just submission hunting. Instead of immediately seeking a submission, take time to improve your position and apply pressure slowly. When you’re in a dominant position, such as mount, control the opponent's movements, isolate their limbs, and only then look for a submission when the opportunity arises. This method not only ensures a higher success rate but also makes your attacks less predictable and more methodical.

Developing Patience and Awareness in Submission Attempts

A key aspect of avoiding overcommitting is developing patience and awareness during rolling (sparring) and drilling. Rather than rushing into submissions, take the time to feel out the situation and understand the dynamics at play. Understanding the natural progression of a roll or fight helps you determine the right moments to attack.

For instance, when attempting a submission, focus on creating a chain of control points before moving forward with a submission. This can involve isolating the opponent’s arms, securing a dominant position, and only then transitioning into a submission when they are fully controlled. By mastering this step-by-step process with the help of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu buffs like Thomas Czerniejewski, practitioners can enhance their submission accuracy and prevent costly mistakes. With practice, awareness grows, and you’ll develop the ability to recognize when your submission attempt is valid and when it’s better to maintain control for a more advantageous attack later.

The Dangers of Overcommitting in Competition

In a competition setting, the pressure to secure a win can lead to even greater temptation to overcommit to submissions. This often results in practitioners rushing their attacks, which in turn increases the likelihood of mistakes. For example, a competitor might feel pressured to secure a submission quickly, abandoning proper control in favor of an all-out effort to submit their opponent. While this may work against less skilled opponents, it often leads to failure against more experienced practitioners who can exploit such mistakes.

Competitions are designed to test not only your technical skill but also your strategic thinking under pressure. Practitioners who can maintain a calm, controlled approach while working towards submissions tend to perform better in the long run. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu enthusiasts such as Thomas Czerniejewski express that by prioritizing control, athletes increase their ability to create submission opportunities and avoid falling into traps set by their opponents.

[carlsongracie]

Private classes are for any person that wants to adjust any aspect of their games, Jiu Jitsu can be very frustrating for beginners as well as for more advanced individuals. So when you feel you are getting stuck on need some light in any area this is a great option. Get in touch with us for more info on contact@carlsongraciebjj.co.nz.

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[jiujitsuwoman]

Jiu Jitsu Woman is a resource and community for women in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

Jiu Jitsu Woman is a resource and community for women in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. We write articles, guides, and how-to's specifically so women don't have to feel alone in this male dominated sport. Our Women's Club is a subscription group for women who want to hear from the top ranking female BJJ athletes. Every month we have interviews with top ranking female athletes hearing their stories on gender dramas, frustrations, and tips on how they function in such a male dominated industry. We also ask practical questions on how women prepare for tournaments and competitions, and we even talk to men to find out the other sides perspective.

Name: Jiu Jitsu Woman Address: Chava Resort, 110 Moo 3, Cherngtalay, Phuket, 83110, Thailand Phone: +66611724331 Website: https://www.jiujitsuwoman.com/

[kiotobrazilian]

From White Belt to Black Belt: The Journey of Progression in Jiu-Jitsu

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) is a martial art known for its depth, complexity, and the journey it offers its practitioners. Unlike many other martial arts, BJJ doesn't rely on striking or brute force; instead, it emphasizes technique, leverage, and the art of submission. The journey from a white belt to a black belt in BJJ is a transformative one, filled with challenges, growth, and a deepening understanding of the martial art. In this article, we'll explore the stages of progression in BJJ, from the humble white belt to the revered black belt, and the significance of each step along the way.

The White Belt: The Beginning of the Journey

1. Humility and Learning

Every BJJ practitioner begins their journey as a white belt. This stage is characterized by a steep learning curve and a focus on fundamental techniques. White belts are encouraged to embrace humility and absorb as much knowledge as possible from higher-ranked teammates and instructors. It's a time of exploration and discovery, where the foundations of BJJ are laid.

2. Survival and Basics

As a white belt, the primary goal is survival. Learning to escape from dominant positions, defend against submissions, and establish basic positions like guard and mount are crucial. White belts often find themselves tapping out (submitting) frequently, but this is part of the learning process.

3. Building a Strong Foundation

White belts are encouraged to drill fundamental techniques rigorously. Concepts such as posture, base, and weight distribution become second nature. BJJ is often compared to chess, and white belts are learning the essential moves and strategies to navigate the game.

Embark on the Journey from White Belt to Black Belt at Kioti Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Transform Yourself Through the Art of Jiu-Jitsu Excellence.

The Blue Belt: Refining Techniques and Game Development

1. Blue Belt Blues

Reaching the blue belt stage is a significant milestone in a BJJ practitioner's journey. It's a time when many practitioners face what's commonly known as the "blue belt blues." At this level, the initial excitement of learning BJJ has often worn off, and practitioners may encounter plateaus or periods of frustration.

2. Expanding the Arsenal

Despite the challenges, blue belts begin to refine their techniques and develop their personal style of Jiu-Jitsu. They become proficient in their favorite submissions and sweeps and start to experiment with more advanced techniques. Blue belts often have a deeper understanding of the positional hierarchy in BJJ.

3. Rolling with Intent

Rolling (sparring) becomes more strategic at the blue belt level. Practitioners start to develop a game plan during rolls and work on their positional dominance. Rolling with higher-ranked practitioners allows blue belts to test their skills and adapt to various styles.

The Purple Belt: Becoming a Well-Rounded Practitioner

1. Versatility and Adaptability

Purple belts are known for their versatility and adaptability on the mats. They have a broad range of techniques at their disposal and can transition between positions seamlessly. Purple belts are often seen as formidable opponents, and they can hold their own against a wide range of opponents.

2. Teaching and Leadership

Many purple belts begin to take on teaching roles within their academies. They assist with beginners' classes and share their knowledge with lower-ranked practitioners. Teaching others reinforces their understanding of BJJ and deepens their own practice.

3. Fine-Tuning Techniques

Purple belts focus on fine-tuning their techniques and identifying their strengths and weaknesses. They may start developing their own unique style of Jiu-Jitsu and signature moves. Rolling with higher-ranked practitioners continues to be an essential part of their development.

The Brown Belt: Mastery and Innovation

1. Mastery of Technique

Brown belts are often considered masters of technique. They have a deep understanding of BJJ principles and can execute complex moves with precision. Brown belts are known for their ability to chain techniques together seamlessly.

2. Innovation and Creativity

At the brown belt level, practitioners often innovate and develop their techniques. They may create variations of existing moves or discover entirely new ones. Brown belts have the freedom to experiment and push the boundaries of their art.

3. Mentorship and Leadership

Many brown belts take on mentorship roles within their academies. They guide and mentor lower-ranked practitioners, helping them on their BJJ journey. Brown belts are respected figures in the BJJ community and often assist with teaching advanced classes.

The Black Belt: A Journey, Not a Destination

1. The Symbol of Mastery

The black belt is often seen as the pinnacle of achievement in BJJ. It represents years of dedication, hard work, and a profound understanding of the art. However, in BJJ, the black belt is not the end of the journey; it's a new beginning.

2. Continuous Learning

Black belts continue to learn and evolve in their practice. They may explore different aspects of BJJ, such as self-defense techniques or competition strategies. The black belt journey is marked by a commitment to lifelong learning.

3. Giving Back

Black belts often take on leadership roles within their academies, guiding the next generation of practitioners. They contribute to the growth of the BJJ community and may even open their academies.

Conclusion: The Endless Journey of Jiu-Jitsu

The journey from a white belt to a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is a profound and transformative experience. Each belt represents a different stage of growth and development, and the lessons learned on the mats often extend beyond BJJ into various aspects of life. Ultimately, BJJ is not just a martial art; it's a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and continuous growth—a journey that lasts a lifetime. Whether you're a white belt just starting or a black belt with years of experience, the beauty of Jiu-Jitsu lies in the endless possibilities it offers and the unwavering commitment to self-improvement that it inspires.

[hansdavidian]

How To Deal With Spazzy White Belts

In this blog post, I am going to talk about how to deal with spazzy white belts. If you have been training BJJ for some time, you must have encountered them. You know, the one who flails around like a fish out of water, trying to muscle their way out of every situation, throwing elbows or knees to every direction and oh how they love to pull and twist your fingers! It can be frustrating, even…

[kingzblogs]

Tips of buying jiu jitsu clothing

If you have just started training in Jiu Jitsu, you will soon have to consider getting a Gi. Buying your first Jiu Jitsu gi can be useful because you might be surprised at how much they are valuable in training. 

The contrast between Gi and No-Gi? 

If you own a BJJ Gi, you might be clear as to why you need one in the first place. But practicing BJJ with the Gi is very different than without it. The first difference is that the Gi offers a range of throttles and techniques that can be performed with it. 

You can grab your opponent's pants and use them to force his legs to the side. They can also grab their gi from a standing position and perform with judo throws. You can also grab your opponent's sleeves and set up advanced protections like "collar sleeves" or "worm protection." 

The distinction between a BJJ Gi and other martial arts attire? 

Jiu jitsu kimonos are much thicker, like a judo gi, and built to take a lot of abuse. It can be grabbed, pulled, pulled, or wrapped around a person's neck. You might find it frustrating the first time you roll with someone good with the Gi if you're trained mostly without a gi.  

If they talk about fabrics, they can mention the following: Single Weave, Double Weave, Pearl Weave, Gold Weave, and Diamond Weave, among others. These are used for the making of the Gi jacket.

Single-weave jackets are characterized by being thin and light. In addition, they usually have a shorter duration than other types of fabrics.

The Double weave is very similar to the Single weave. It uses twice as many threads as a single, making it a much more resistant, heavier fabric with a higher value. The kimonos made with this fabric are not usually very comfortable as they are usually hard and tend to restrict movement.

Pearl weave is the most widely used fabric today. It is very resistant, soft, and durable. You can find from 350GSM to more than 800GSM. This type of fabric does not usually shrink much. It is an excellent option for any type of jiu jitsu gi mens kimono.

Gold Weave was one of the most popular fabrics since it is light and durable. However, it also tends to shrink and is usually rough and hard. For these reasons, it began to be replaced by Pearl weave.

Some fabrics like Diamond or Chess provide a great look and are usually very resistant, comfortable, and durable. They have the 750 GSM Pearl weave Golden Heavy Kimono and Diamond skirt, a unique and must-have design from womens jiu jitsu gi collection.

Regarding white gi pants, they have the classic cotton ones, the most popular since they are soft and comfortable. However, for a long time, there has been Ripstop, which was a boom because they are very light and resistant, but only some things are perfect since it is a rough fabric that can make many users uncomfortable.

[shaunstenning2020]

Why Did Shaun Stenning Start Sutai Experiences?

The owners of Sutai Experiences, Amy, Nando, and Shaun have been friends for years. Nando being Phuket’s leading BJJ coach was a coach to Shaun’s son Lucus and Amy owning the best Muay Thai Gym for kids in Phuket meant that Shaun was regularly visiting Sutai Muay Thai for BJJ and Muay Thai training for his son Lucus.

Over time the friendship between these 3 owners grew and expanded beyond a client relationship into one of friendship with regular dinners and outings where Lucus could play with Amy and Nando’s son Hunter.

During the Covid 19 Pandemic, it was important for ex-pats to have a strong friendship network, people you could turn to if you were having a hard time. Amy, Nando, and Shaun further developed their relationship as they shared frustrations about the lockdown and also encouraged each other to stay strong.

Then in the middle of Phuket’s Hard Lock Down (probably what the world would call a Stage 5 Lock Down) Amy, Nando, and Shaun saw how much the local communities around them were suffering. Through the financial funding of Shaun’s company 5 Star Marine Amy, Nando, and Shaun joined together to establish a Privately Funded Food Donation program helping people from Bangtao to Kata, Koh Sirey to Leam Sai, and beyond.

This Privately Funded Donation Program is now the longest-running and largest donation program in all of Phuket. Spending hours together packing rice, dry food, and supplies and then delivering them to the local communities gave Amy, Nando, and Shaun plenty of time to talk about ways to help each other’s local businesses move through this crisis.

It’s at this time that the conversation turned to discuss how we could privately affordable, yes service-orientated Small Group Tours to the local ex-pat and domestic tourism market. All of us had experienced overcrowded boats, disinterested crews, and poorly maintained boat group tours before and wanted to offer something different.

While some ex-pats could afford to rent a private boat, there were a number of ex-pats who were single or without kids making the cost of a private boat too expensive. So it was decided between Amy, Nando, and Shaun that they should set up Sutai Experiences to provide affordable VIP Small Group Tours.

Since the establishment of the Experiences, the local community has really supported the program and we are proud today to be running a variety of programs on a monthly basis.

[kontextmaschine]

go do bjj mr body wizard sir

I honestly should now with these leg changes, at least to appreciate what I had before them – I used to grapple best from the bottom, wrap one of their legs and just frustrate their attempts to get a choke for a while while they wore themselves out, then take advantage of their gambits to pull an upa and get top mount with them exhausted

[tiliamericana]

Muay Thai: 1.16

“So, why jiu jitsu?” asked Agatha, handing Nairi the last of the flatware they’d used for dinner and leaning her hip against the counter. It felt like she was watching her clean the dishes, disconcerting.

Nairi hummed, giving the plate an extra scrub just in case before she finished. “I wasn’t very good at it before,” she said, trying to think how to phrase it. “Which was why my teacher tried me out on judo instead. BJJ is sort of on the same spectrum as judo, just the other side, if that makes sense.”

Agatha looked like it didn’t, actually, but she nodded anyway. “I see. So, you’re trying it again?”

“No, it’s a different style,” said Nairi, draining the sink.

The furrow in Agatha’s brow deepened momentarily, then smoothed over again as she schooled her face. She nodded and made her way over to the couch in front of Nairi’s TV, seemingly satisfied with Nairi’s work on the dishes. “Okay then. Are you going to look at this one with an eye for teaching or just for fun?”

“Mostly to learn it,” said Nairi, staring blankly at the kitchen sink. “I’m already teaching as much as I can, really.”

“Well, it’ll probably inform your teaching in your other classes anyway, it’s always good to see how other people in your field are doing things, and the variety is useful and interesting on its own,” said Agatha nodding and making herself comfortable. “All done in the kitchen?”

“Yeah,” said Nairi, giving up and walking over to settle next to her. “Thanks for cooking. I haven’t really eaten many mushrooms before.”

Agatha smiled at her, but didn’t scoot closer the way she normally did. That probably meant it was Nairi’s turn to be affectionate, right? “It was a tasty recipe; I might have to try it with chicken at home.”

“It’ll probably taste good. Chicken goes well with mushroom, right?” She shifted closer and wrapped an arm low around Agatha’s waist, leaning in against her.

Agatha relaxed against her and tucked her feet alongside Nairi’s, kissing her temple. “Usually, yes. When was the last time you ate meat?”

“When I was about, um, nineteen, I think,” said Nairi, not quite able to stop her fingers from twitching where they were resting on Agatha’s shirt. “I don’t really like the texture.”

Agatha laughed softly, bringing her hand up and running it through the hair of Nairi’s fringe, carefully separating it with her fingers. “Alright, that’s a new one—”

Nairi caught her hand and pushed it away, sitting up straight again. “Don’t.”

Agatha frowned, but let go of her hair. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s fine,” said Nairi, tugging her elastic the rest of the way out of her hair and pulling it all up to tie it back again.

Agatha looked… well, troubled. “Actually, can I ask you about that?”

“About what?” said Nairi, glancing at her and trying to keep her face calm, or at least neutral. “The vegetarianism? There’s not much more to it, really.”

“No, I mean about your hair,” said Agatha, her eyes lingering on Nairi’s fingers as they dropped from her head.

“Oh.”

Agatha looked at her expectantly. Nairi let her own eyes slide away again and settled on the couch uncomfortably, tucking her foot behind her knee as the silence drew out. Eventually she leaned forward to pick up the remote for the TV and Agatha sighed. “Nairi.”

Nairi left the remote on its coffee table and turned to face her, tension settling in between her shoulders again. “I just don’t like having my hair touched, okay?”

“Does it hurt?” asked Agatha, looking at her with, with somethingin her expression that Nairi couldn’t read. “Are you worried about it being greasy or dirty? Do you think I’m going to pull on it?”

Nairi sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know, I just don’t like when people touch it.”

“Is it like your tattoos?” asked Agatha, still pressing the damn point. “Would you be more comfortable if it was covered up? Or cut short?”

Nairi’s hand flew to her head and her frown deepened. “No. And my tattoos don’t have anything to do with it.”

“Well, what do they have to do with then?” said Agatha, her frustration visibly mounting.

“Nothing, they’re just tattoos,” said Nairi flatly. “I just—don’t like them anymore, okay? It’s fine, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter if they upset you,” said Agatha, reaching for Nairi’s hand. “You don’t have to keep them if you don’t like them, laser takes a while and is a bit pricey but—”

Nairi pulled her hand away. “I don’t want to get rid of them. It’s fine, they don’t upset me, it’s just, it’s complicated. That’s all.”

Agatha caught her hand again, just her hand, and looked Nairi dead in the eye. “Try me. I want to understand. You are upset, and I can handle complicated, I even have the PhD to prove it.”

Agatha’s hand was too hot where it was holding Nairi’s, and she scanned Agatha’s face carefully, searching for something to say. Her mind was blank, stalling, and she kept returning to Agatha’s eyes, over and over again. She couldn’t—she couldn’t tell. She wanted to leave it behind, that was the point, she wasn’t going to just sit here on this damn couch in this new place with this nice woman and tell her all of the fucked-up things that weren’t part of her anymore.

“Nairi, please,” said Agatha, the lines around her eyes tightening. “I care about you. I want to support you—I want to be a good girlfriend here, but you have to want that too.”

Nairi stared at her blankly, unsure how to even start responding to that, but judging by the way Agatha’s face started to shift, no response was the wrong response.

“Nairi, do you even want to be in this relationship?” she said, sounding both hurt and exasperated.

“Yes,” lied Nairi immediately, in case hesitating was the wrong response to that as well. She knew she didn’t want Agatha to go, and she knew that if Agatha left now then she probably wouldn’t come back and that was worse. She didn’t—she didn’t have any other options.

“Good!” said Agatha, gripping Nairi’s hand too tightly, anxiety writ in her brow. “I’m glad! But I’m not feeling it or seeing it or hearing from you! Every time I’m with you it feels like there’s only half of you with me—like you wish you were literally anywhere else.”

“That’s not, I don’t wish that,” said Nairi, stumbling over her own tongue. “If I did then I wouldn’t, I’d just leave, I’m sorry, Agatha, I’m not good at this stuff.”

“Neither am I, but I’m trying,” said Agatha, shuffling her knees on the couch to face Nairi straight on. “It’s only in the last two years or so that I’ve even started dating women, and I didn’t exactly have a lot of relationship experience before that, much less good ones, can you—can you please just tell me what I’m doing wrong here?”

“Um, nothing?” Nairi felt strangely static, like she should be hugging Agatha, or reassuring her, or doing something other than sitting there like a piece of wood. She didn’t know how to fix it. “You’re not doing anything wrong, I’m just—”

“You’re just what?” said Agatha, patience bleeding out of her tone into something more accusatory. “I know I’m doing something wrong because you’re fine with Linden.”

What?

“…What do you mean?” said Nairi, suddenly even less sure of her conversational footing than she had been.

“I mean that you spend more time with her than you do me so you’re clearly not having issues there,” snapped Agatha. “You’re more comfortable with her, hell, you’d rather spend time with her in a crowded club that’s filled with shitheads when you don’t even want to be there, over going home with your actual girlfriend and making sure she’s okay!”

So that had definitely been a mistake. Nairi shifted on the couch, feeling uncomfortably pinned by Agatha’s gaze. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t figure out which way you’d gone, and I didn’t want to lose both of you and ruin it more—”

“You didn’t want to ruin it for Linden,” corrected Agatha. “It’s two thousand and nine, Nairi, we both have cell phones. AndI waited outside for you.”

“Right,” said Nairi, finally glancing away from her. “Yeah. Sorry.”

“I know,” said Agatha, her tone tight, audibly reigning herself in. “It’s just—even a check-in text, or a phone call would have been good. I didn’t even hear from you until the next day. You were more concerned about Linden having fun than you were with seeing if I was okay, or even safe.”

Nairi’s hand was too hot in Agatha’s, and she shifted it, only for Agatha’s grip to tighten, lacing their fingers together. “I’m sorry,” she said again, feeling like everything else out of her mouth had been the wrong thing to say, just wanting the conversation to end.

“Please stop saying that,” said Agatha, and great, now that was the wrong thing to say as well. “Please. I just want to know what you want, just one indication of what you’re feeling, or thinking, or that you even want me to be here! Please! Just one sign that you even like me or want to be dating me and not Linden!”

“I don’t want to date Linden, I’m dating you,” said Nairi with a firmness she didn’t feel.

“Nairi, that’s not reassuring,” said Agatha, finally letting go of her hand.

“Well, what do you mean then?” said Nairi, starting to lose her grip on her patience along with the thread of the conversation. “I am sorry, I don’t want to date Linden, I don’t know what you want me to say here.”

“I believe you,” said Agatha, sounding entirely like she didn’t, actually. “I just want to know what you’re actually thinking or feeling. I don’t know how to read you, and when I ask, you keep deflecting, I just—please. What are you feeling? Right now.”

Honesty probably wouldn’t help her here, but fuck, she didn’t have much else. “Right now? Frustrated,” she said bluntly.

Agatha gestured, her expression expectant, like she wanted more.

Nairi puffed out a sigh. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know what to tell you, or how I would tell you if I knew, or what answers you’re looking for when you ask me. I’m trying to give you what you want, and I don’t want to upset you.”

“I’m already upset,” said Agatha, her voice rising. “I can’t read your mind, Nairi, you say you want to be here and to be with me, but you act like I’m pulling your teeth when I ask, I can’t even tell what’s different when you’re happy and you’re pissed off.”

“I’m not pissed off,” said Nairi. She was frustrated. And tired.

“And you’re not happy!”

“Not right now, no!” said Nairi, feeling her aforementioned frustration rise.

“Are you ever?” snapped Agatha. “Because the only time you even look like you are is when you’re with Linden!”

“She’s my friend!” said Nairi, not entirely sure why she felt so defensive about it. “And I don’t know why you’re bringing her into this!”

“Because you like her more than me!” said Agatha, her eyes tight and furious. “You’re my girlfriend, and you hate spending time with me, but you’ll drop everything to go run around with her, even when it hurts me!”

“I’m not doing that deliberately,” said Nairi, staring at her blankly. “I’m not choosing her over you, and I’m sure as shit not spending time with her to hurt you!”

“But you wouldn’t choose me over her,” said Agatha snidely, glaring back at her.

“No!” said Nairi hotly, and as soon as it left her mouth she knew it was the wrong damn thing.

Agatha recoiled, her mouth twisting, and too late Nairi realised the tightness around her eyes was because of tears. She looked away from Nairi, braid slipping back over her shoulder as she stared down at her hands.

“I don’t—that’s not—” Nairi stumbled over her words, feeling something cold and slimy swelling in the pit of her stomach.

“Don’t,” said Agatha quietly, a bitter note in her voice. “If you meant it, you should say it.”

“That’s not—I don’t mean—” Nairi took a deep breath and tried again. “She’s my friend. You’re my girlfriend.” She tried not to think about how much that word stuck in her throat as she said it. “I don’t want to—I’m not looking to pick between you, I want to be around both of you.”

“Right,” said Agatha thickly, dropping her glasses into her lap and pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. “It’s not about picking.”

Nairi didn’t own any boxes of tissues, which seemed like an oversight right about now. She got up and pulled a fresh roll of toilet paper from her cupboard, pouring a glass of water before she went back over and sat down, a little closer to Agatha than before.

Agatha took the paper and swiped at her eyes viciously, still not looking directly at her, even as she drank the water.

Nairi waited for Agatha to set the glass down on the table, and then shifted closer, wrapping an arm around her back and shoulder. Agatha was stiff against her, her mouth in a mulish set as she looked up. She looked like she was going to say something else, but Nairi kissed her cheek and tugged her back against her, and she sniffled again, leaning back into Nairi as the muscles in her face finally loosened.

“I’m sorry,” said Nairi softly, running her fingers over the hair near the crown of Agatha’s head. “I’m a fuck up. I want this to work out, I don’t want to lose you, and I especially don’t want to hurt you.”

Agatha turned her head a little and kissed Nairi’s shoulder through the cotton of her shirt. “I don’t want to lose you either,” she said in a small voice.

“Good,” said Nairi, chewing on her lip as she stared at the ceiling, trying to relax at the feeling of Agatha pressed up against her. “You’re not going to, I promise.”

[swisssadge]

Hand-to-hand martial arts for the Gold Saints

Yes, I decided to focus on weaponless martial arts only. n.n Because I know two or three Saints, which would be SO obvious otherwise (wink wink). I mean, come on: Aiolos would totally do Kyudo (Japanese archery), and Shura would be so doing Iaido or Kendo. Those would be the styles for Sagittarius and Capricorn Saints in EVERY list. Anyways, I tried my best to find the martial art that fits personality and or fighting style of each one. Or, if this doesn’t work, can be connected to the Saint in question in some other way, however farfetched. Like if I can picture him doing a certain martial art really, really well.

HOWEVER: If a martial art does include a weapons training, but has the main focus on hand-to-hand combat (like for example Aikido), it still qualifies as candidate here.

 So here goes this little list. And do not hesitate to tell me what martial arts you would give the Saints.

 P.S.: I am an Aikidoka and also know single tidbits about other martial arts as well.

 Mu: Tai Chi

We all know that Mu is quite a calm person, especially for an Aries. In my mind, when imagining him doing some martial arts, I've always pictured him doing Tai Chi. And with his psychic abilities, a martial art that is nicknamed "meditation in motion" would be perfect for him.

 Aldebaran: Hung Gar Kung Fu

So, those of you who know a bit about martial arts might think: Brazilian Jiu Jitsu no question! Alde is Brazilian! Well, yes, he is. However… As I had to find out, BJJ doesn't fit his personality or fighting style in the slightest. Sumo was not viable either, since Aldebaran is not fat at all. So, after some thinking, I finally got it: Hung Gar Kung Fu. It has powerful stances and blows. Also, it was the style on which Avatar's Earthbending was based on. (I think the pieces fall in place now for everyone who knows Avatar.) And so, for actually multiple reasons, I think Hung Gar fits Aldebaran much better than BJJ. Hm… a style where speed is of the essence would of course be great too, since it is said Aldebaran, despite his size and strenght, is actually the fastest Gold Saint. However, except Wing Chun with its rapid-fire punches, I couldn't think of any. And Wing Chun doesn't really fit Aldebaran.

 Saga and Kanon: Judo

This one… I don't even know why I always picture the twins doing Judo together. I could have given them one of plenty other martial arts… but for some reason, it was Judo who stuck with me. Perhaps because of those instances in which one of the two Judoka has a blue gi instead of a white one…? Unfortunately, I don’t know of any martial art heavily using distractions (like through movement of hands and/or feet). Cause that would go perfectly with their illusionary techniques.

 Deathmask: Mixed Martial Arts

I don't mean it in a negative way, but MMA has always had a bit of a rogueish vibe to me. And I think Deathmask is the type of anything goes anyways. One who doesn't necessarily stick to the rules. Winning at (almost?) all costs. So I think, MMA, which throws many different techniques together, fits him better than any of the more, hm, structured martial arts. And let's be honest, MMA practitioners can give off a bit of a bad boy vibe sometimes, no? ;)

 Aiolia: Muay Thai

Well, in my head, Aiolia is similar to Regulus. A strong and skilled fighter, and somewhat a natural at it. Of course not in the child genius way of Regulus. And as the Leo Saint, I imagine him to have some inner wildness and ferocity that comes out when he's in combat (though we haven't really seen that in manga or anime). So, I think one of the most devastating martial arts which even uses knees and elbows in addition to arms and legs suits him quite well.

 Shaka: Aikido

If there is one martial arts that fits the buddhist mindset the most, it is Aikido. And were he not a Gold Saint, Shaka might even be as big a pacifist as Shun, if not even bigger. So, I think he'd be right at home in Aikido, a non-competitive martial art which is all about using an opponent's energy against him, and if possible not getting into fights in the first place.

 Dohko: Tiger Style Kung Fu

… Need I really explain this one? XD Really, when I tried to come up with an alternative, I wasn't able to. Though, without the tiger on his back, any other Chinese martial art would have been a candidate. Though which one? He just hasn't really a distinct enough fighting style for me to close in on anything specific. So,Tiger Style it is. And for Specter!Dohko, there would be even the style of the Black Tiger Fist.

 Milo: Eagle Claw Kung Fu

This one was actually a bit frustrating. I wanted to give Milo either Dim Mak or Kyusho, as it is known in Japan. Because come on: Pressure points would be on point with his Scarlet Needle technique (pun fully intended). But no, they turn out to be concepts, not full martial arts… Unfortunately, there is no martial art that focuses so heavily on pressure points. And while according to Wikipedia, there is a Scorpion Kung Fu style, I didn't find any other info about such a style. So I have to go with my gut a bit here. A style I can absolutely picture Milo doing. One I know does in fact exists and does use strikes to pressure points to some extent. I present: The Eagle Claw Kung Fu style. Which apparently is THE martial art focusing on pressure points more than any other.

 Aiolos: Jeet Kune Do

For one, Bruce Lee, the inventor of JKD, was a Sagittarian himself. And they were both incredibly skilled, Lee as a martial artist, Aiolos as a Saint. And as if the mobile game Cosmo Fantasy wanted to strenghten my opinion, there is a version of Aiolos in it with God Cloth and Libra weapon. Which weapon did he get? The freaking nunchaku. XD It all just screams Bruce Lee and Jeet Kune Do. Also, I do think that the style would fit him otherwise, too.

 Shura: Karate

Karate-do literally means way of the empty hand. And if there is one Saint whose hand is a weapon, it is Shura. And since Karate has kicks too, it would even fit with his Jumping Stone technique.

 Camus: Savate

I had actually two possible candidates for Camus. Savate from France and Sambo from Russia (he did train in Siberia, after all). And of the two, Savate is the style fitting Camus more, because it has a touch more elegance than Sambo. I doubt that Camus would be in for any kind of brutal martial arts, and in Sambo, apparently things can get really, really rough. That Savate is from France is just the icing on the cake. And as the example of Aldebaran showed, it was by now means a given that the martial arts of his homeland would have suited him.

 Aphrodite: Crane Style Kung Fu

*big facepalm* I originally put Ninjutsu here, because of how Aphrodite uses his roses. However… I think I said weaponless martial arts. So scratch that. Ninjutsu has its hand-to-hand combat, but it uses way too many tools. Also, the way Aphrodite wants to showcase his beauty, I doubt he'd appreciate having to work hidden in the shadows. And since Aphrodite is all about beauty and grace, he needs a martial art linked to that. Unfortunately, I haven't heard of a martial art called "beautiful but deadly." There is only one style that comes to my mind when talking about grace. I give you: The Crane Style Kung Fu. Of all the animal styles, the Crane is the one representing elegance the most.

[ashymcgee]

Today's puzzles. . Overcoming fear today. I am one of those people that I have to do movements in a methodical, repetitive fashion until they are automatic before I go on to something new. . I memorize tiny movements and catalogue them. I learn slower than most, but my execution is typically flawless because I take the extra time that many past dance, especially ballet, teachers deemed: 'unnecessary'. . I like how I learn. It's meditative and I have nothing to prove to anyone. I am the same way in bjj. I could be a white belt forever. Doesn't matter. This is my journey and nothing else matters except for the education. . My experimentation with V0 and V1 warm ups prepared me for the incline walls quite well. My speed and breathing were even with every movement and I didn't gas out on the descent. . I'm impatient about my finger and forearm strength, but I know I haven't hit the 3 month period for tendons. Gah. Frustrating. Small victories: my lower transverse abdominis is stronger than I thought from rollerskating, so scaling up the wall using my lower core was quite smooth and easy. . Back to work. . #blackgirlmagic #climb #climbing #bouldering #rockclimbing #halfmoonbouldering (at Half Moon Bouldering) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQejjVWJk2V/?utm_medium=tumblr

[hansdavidian]

White Belt Survival Tips

In this blog post, I will share my top 5 BJJ white belt survival tips to survive longer against higher belts during sparring sessions. Sparring with higher belts can be a frustrating experience for BJJ white belts, and I know this from my own experience as a brand new white belt back in 2018. During my early days of training, I spent only a few seconds in a neutral position against my rolling…

[daprec]

Unspoken and Spoken Mat Rules At Combat Room Miramar #jiujitsufirst

Some of these were borrowed from BJJEE and Gentlemen Grappler, some were modified by me, and others are my own rules or rules that have been passed down and seen as tradition

1. Shake the hands of the black belts when you enter and when you leave the mat. Additionally, after greeting the blackbelt please greet your teammates with the JJ handshake and smile 🙂

2. If a higher belt invites you to roll, you roll. They will invite you politely, if you say no they might not ask you again (except on special situations such as injuries, necessary rest for competition and others).

3. If a black belt is rolling near you, stop and move. If you are a black belt and you have a stable position and the lower belts around you are scrambling or with a submission locked in, don’t be a tyrant, be humble, you move.

4. Be stoic. If you get a submission, don’t celebrate, don’t show any joy. If you are submitted, don’t show frustration, shake hands and restart.

5. If the pain is tolerable don’t stop. Don’t talk to your partner about it, don’t expect them to say they are sorry, most of the times they didn’t even realized what happened. Keep it to yourself.

6. No excuses, a tap is a tap, crank or no crank. Don’t waste time massaging your ego explaining why you tapped, focus on what you should had done instead.

7. During the explanation of a position be attentive, listen carefully. Don’t expect the full attention of your professor if you didn’t give him any.

8. Payback rule, whatever you do, it will be done to you. If you are rough we will be rough on you. If you dedicate yourself to Jiu-Jitsu we will dedicate ourselves to you.

9. Do not cheer for teammates while you watch them roll. If you are on the side watching a roll, please keep your outbursts of joy that your teammate got a sub on your other teammate. It’s not fair and doesn’t help the person who got sub’d at all.

10. No coaching from the sidelines unless you’re a purple belt or above. If you ARE purple and above, please do not coach if the head coach, instructor or Professor is coaching. Too many people shouting instructions at 1 practitioner doesn’t help anyone and it’s the Professors job to coach his/her students. If Professor isn’t there (in a tournament scenario), then the high belt coaches

11. Whitebelts are not allowed to make rules or teach. You’re a whitebelt and with all due respect, you don’t know much at this stage. Unless you’re a D1 All American Wrestler or Judo World Champion who are joining up in BJJ, you are not allowed to teach newcomers or other whitebelts, and you most certainly are not allowed to make rules on the mats.

12. Always make a bow before stepping onto the mats. This is a quick and nice way to check your mind and body onto the tatame, and focus on training, leaving your job and real world problems behind.

13. No barefeet off of the mats ESPECIALLY WHEN GOING TO THE TOILETS. If I need to explain why then you owe me 3000 pushups.

14. In general lower belts are not allowed to ask higher belts to roll. There are always exceptions but this rule must always be adhered to unless an arrangement or conversation has been had by the individual high belt. This also goes for male whitebelts asking other women whitebelts to roll. At this stage the technique isn’t there yet and we want to mitigate unintentional injury as much as possible.

15. NEVER ask when you’re going to be promoted, or when another student is going to be promoted. Instructors have their reasons why/when/if to promote a student and their judgement must be respected at all times, regardless if you understand or disagree with the decision. This is simply how it’s always been.

16. Training at other gyms. One-off training is fine if you want to visit another gym to get a different experience or have friends there. But regular training at other gyms isn’t cool for a variety of reasons. The 1st being your grading process, and the 2nd being the fact that coaches invest a lot of time and effort into your training. Training at HQ or other Combat Rooms is strongly encouraged, but you do not earn credit at CR Miramar from training at other CRs.

17. If late to class – please wait to be waved onto the mats by your Professor. This is so that he/she knows you’re on the mats to help keep track of attendance and safety. Additionally without question 20 pushups is owed as penalty for being late.

18. Forgetting your belt. Whitebelts owe 20 pushups, Bluebelts owe 40 pushups, Purplebelts owe 40 pushups + 40 burpees. Brown and Blackbelts never forget their belts because punishment works.

19. Start and finish class with a bow. As previously mentioned this is more of a handshake rather than any sort of reverence. Its more to pay respect to each other: the instructor to you, and you to the instructor.

20. Line up according to rank. (yes even in the picture) The people who have put in more mat time have not only earned this right, but also have more knowledge than the lower belts. This is attributed to the “Martial” part of “Martial (Military) Arts (Subjective Craft)”

21. Blackbelts are called “Professor or Sensei”. If your gym has purple/brown belts who are official gym instructors named by the head instructor, they are called “Coach”

22. Always have a clean gi or no-gi uniforms. “No one wants to essmell you esstink” – Rey Diogo

23. Please trim your finger and toe nails. We don’t know how to fight wolverines yet

24. Be a good training partner and/or Uke. When practicing technique with a partner, or if Professor calls upon you to demonstrate a technique, please don’t act like this is a live sparring event. Practice is practice, rolling is rolling, demonstration is DEMONSTRATION. If you resist or start defending, Professor will not call on you again to help.

25. Train in a controlled and methodical manner. We are not here to injure our teammates or “break our toys” as I like to say. Beginners don’t have the technique yet to implement this philosophy at first, so upper belts please don’t get frustrated. Help them along the way, as upper belts did for you when you were a beginner. Beginners, no one is going to kill you, so try to remain calm during a roll and learn something.

26. Please stick to the IBJJF ruleset of submissions unless you have verbally agreed with your training partner otherwise.

This means:

No neck cranks, cervical locks or heel hooks

No slamming

No footlocks or kneebars for white belts (straight ankle locks are IBJJF approved for all belts)

No fish hooking, eye gouging or grabbing fingers individually

Avoid chokes along the jaw, chin, teeth or face

ALWAYS respect the tap, and allow partners time to tap

27. Go slow when applying a submission. Most joint locks can cause severe damage, especially the arm and shoulder locks. I know it’s exciting, but please go slow enough to give your partners a second to tap or don’t apply the submission 150%

28. Tap early and a lot. Everyone taps – this is part of the game. Think of it as a game of “gotcha” rather than a game of wining or losing. Most of my taps usually end with a giggle and a “that was awesome well done”. This is how we learn. This is the realtime feedback that illustrates a mistake on our part that needs addressing. Work on your weaknesses.

29. Please invest in a mouthguard. Accidents do happen, and as adult humans our teeth do not grow back. Pay the money on a good one, it’s worth it. This is not mandatory, but strongly advised.

30. MINIMUM attendance for promotion consideration is 3 days a week. I need to see you on the mats at least 3 days a week consistently for 6 months for you to be considered for a stripe or promotion. This does NOT include going to HQ or other gyms or open mat (free rolling days). You need to be on the mats in Miramar to qualify for a promotion. If you can tap and sweep everyone in the gym but are only showing up 1 day a week then you most likely won’t get promoted.

31. Always come to class with a positive and open mindset

32. During technique practice please do NOT talk the entire time. Not only is this disrespectful to your Professor, you are wasting your training partners time as well as your own time. Technique practice time is the single most important part of class and is the only time I expect full focus from all of my students. We only get 3 hours a week to train, and only 1/2 that time to practice technique to please avoid socializing and practice the technique.

33. Do not attend class if you are sick. Please stay home until you are completely well and ready to train. Do not come to class to watch if you still have symptoms

34. Do not train injured. If you are injured please come to class to watch, but as difficult as it may be, please don’t train. Injuries can linger for YEARS if you do not take the time to heal properly. You’ve already dedicated yourself to JJ, it’s not going anywhere. Rest up, heal up and come back stronger!

35. Please remove all jewelery, earrings, bracelets before class

36. If you are on the side watching people roll, it is your job to help prevent collisions happening on the mats. Step inbetween 2 groups of people rolling and do your best to either protect their heads or if they get too close let them know they should move. The higher belts have the mat priority, so lower belts move for them.

37. High belts are responsible for the mats after class and locking up. If I’m not around to mop the mats, high belts are responsible. It’s really EVERYONES job. Make sure the mats are mopped and stacked before leaving the gym. Don’t wait for someone else to do it, please help. Also if there is no one else in the gym, the high belt (bluebelt and up) is responsible to lock up.

38. NO SHOES ON THE MAT EVER. I shouldn’t even have to type this, but sadly I do.

39. *AMENDED* Leave drama off of the mat AND out of the group chat please. If it’s mat drama please deal with it off of the mats in a kind and respectful way. If it’s chat drama please deal with it off the chat in person in a kind and respectful way.

Please keep in mind I work 50-60hr weeks PLUS teach BJJ – 2 jobs. I would appreciate it if people could figure it out among themselves. Keep in mind I’m only qualified to give you Jiu Jitsu and Motion Capture Animation advice 😊

If you find yourself consistently at the center of issues at the gym or the chat, perhaps step away for a bit and think about what the common denominator is and how you can improve/fix things and come back with a different mind set. If things can’t be settled then speak to me about a different solution, but please try the above avenues prior to reaching out to me.

All of that said I’m always here for my students and can/will help however possible, but if it’s things I don’t need to be involved in, please help me and be #mindful in that regard.🙏

40. Guys – don’t hit on the ladies. Our gym has a unique and large female presence and I want to keep it that way. We haven’t had a problem yet that I know of and it’s going to stay that way.

41. Saying “Oss” is an affirmation. This is a very traditional method of either saying “you understand”, or “I give you permission to practice on me and I on you” or just a sign of gratitude and respect. Oss is cool

42. What happens on the mats stays on the mats. I know we all get excited and our ego’s pumped when we sweep or tap out someone. But lets keep that to ourselves – we don’t need to gloat off the mats about sweeping a 1 stripe whitebelt, or how we heelhooked a 12 year old, or how we passed a blackbelts guard (who 99.99% let you anyway). We especially find it tacky and uncool posting these kinds of things on social media so keep it in the gym.

43. Beginners, yes the higher belt let you have it, unless they said you legitimately “got them”, so please hold off on launching the blimp and having a parade until you have confirmation. Its the higher belts job to help guide you along this path, and at some point you will stop being given chances.

***UPDATE 01***

44. Whatever special arrangements I’ve made with an individual apply to that individual ONLY. Sometimes there are things in life that are out of our control, and we cannot manage to abide by some of these rules. If a student has spoken directly to me about some life event or change and we need to come up with a plan specific to them, that does NOT mean it applies to everyone. Every student is responsible to speak to me about their situations.

***UPDATE 02***

45. Visiting guests from another gyms. Of course always be courteous and welcoming, but the general unspoken rule is to smoke them when rolling – usually when matched to your belt level 😃. This is a worldwide unspoken standard within BJJ gyms. The thinking is when they leave our gym and go back to their home gym, they’ll know that we practice good Jiu Jitsu and train hard. This helps keep quality and standards up within the BJJ community and increases the drive at other clubs to improve. It’s kind of a weird quality control, but hey we’re learning how to fight so it isn’t always pretty. There are ALWAYS exceptions to the rules, but this is the general “Old School” way of doing things, that as far as I know is still an unspoken standard.

46. Visiting other schools. Be respectful and courteous – mind your manners at all times. Give them a call or an email before showing up to ask if it’s OK to jump into a class. Greet the Black Belt or head coach 1st. Treat the tatami how you would treat your own school regardless if they do not practice the same etiquette as your home gym. Train hard, be technical, – don’t be a meat head.

“It’s better to know your manners and not need them instead of needing your manners and not knowing them.” – Miyamoto Musashi I think 😛

***UPDATE 03***

47. Gi and no-gi uniform. Being that we’re still in a Covid pandemic, we still must continue practicing safe hygene. This means wearing leggings and rash guards under your gi. This means wearing leggings, shorts and long sleeve rash guards for no-gi. We’ll continue this practice when we eventually are a post-Covid world.

***UPDATE 04***

48. ZERO TOLERANCE of sexual harassment. Ladies if anything of the such happens at our club, however unlikely, please bring it to my attention IMMEDIATELY. I have a 1 strike and you’re out policy and will not condone this kind of behavior from any of my students.

Other thoughts

You’re going to want to quit. Don’t worry we have all felt that throughout this journey. BJJ is hard. Some say the hardest thing they’ve ever done. The learning never ends – the same goes with life and anything else you want to master. And just as in life, running from your problems never solves anything so call timeout, recharge, and come back!

Ask yourself what kind of student do you want to be? One that’s made of rubber? Bouncing back and forth to class, disappearing for months, reappearing for months again and again? One that’s made of wood? After a couple breaks or if things get too hard they quit, never to return? Or one that’s made of steel? A student who regardless of the injuries, hits to the ego, damage to the body, never bends or breaks and always shows up ready to train.

Rubber, Wood or Steel – which are you?

For most all practicioners, the mats are a sacred space. We train because not only do we love the art, but our time on the mats is a cathertic experience. We can forget our daily lives, our jobs, families, friends, pets etc and focus 100% on ourselves, our minds and our bodies while learning something usefull and cool.

Lets not forget what this means to everyone and always give and pay the tatame and class the reverence it deserves. Oss!

*Over time this rule set can and will be amended*

Unspoken and Spoken Mat Rules At Combat Room Miramar #jiujitsufirst was originally published on davepreciado

[novoplata]

Drive and navigate.

On one of my first days at my CrossFit box, I lifted my scaled-down 60-lb barbell with great difficulty (and frustration) and asked my coach: “How long do you think it would take me to be able to Rx my workout?” He chuckled, fixing my still-stiff front rack position and told me that there’s no available statistics for how long it would take for people to be able to do things around the box. “You just come train and you will get better, 1% everyday,” he said. I agreed, but I already had a different plan. I decided that by the end of three months, I should be able to do the Bear Complex WOD with 55 lbs at least. This, however, may not quite be achievable since we’re back in quarantine (sigh!) indefinitely. I asked the same kind of question during my first few weeks of BJJ: how long do you think it would take me to get my first stripe? I later found out that grading talks are a big no-no in BJJ gyms. You’re supposed to pretend you wouldn’t mind being a white belt forever until your coach decides you’re ready. Which I think is pretty dumb. 

People are supposed to want progress! How is it better to coast rather to always strive to get better each day? For some people, it meant getting a new PR and a new stripe on their belt. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. No really, it is your fault. I briefly worked with a colleague who used to complain about how underpaid she was. At 42, she was still earning less than 2.5K a month, still lived at her parents’ house (crammed with her siblings and their spouses), still didn’t have her own car and required her siblings or parents to pick her up and drive her around if she needed to get anywhere. She would complain at least once a week about how little she gets paid and I would try my best to sympathise (thanks to my newly-acquired empathy from a season of having gained and lost weight). One day, after the recent state election, I asked her if she voted. She replied that she was not even registered to vote. I realised then that at 42, as cruel as it sounds, she really has nobody else to blame for ending up where she is apart from herself. The right to vote is a privilege that many people fought for -- and this colleague, at 42, couldn’t even be bothered to exercise hers. I honestly cannot offer any sympathy for such blatant irresponsibility.  I think many people underestimate how much control they actually have over their own lives. Like some BJJ people, some people think that they should just coast in life and pretend they don’t care whether or not they get a raise or whether or not they ever move out of their parents’ house etc., because they falsely believe that doing so proves that they’re humble -- and to have ambition, work your ass off for things you want, and subsequently have the audacity to ask for what you deserve means that you’re being prideful. 

Set healthy milestones. In the past, I’ve been made fun of due to my seemingly rigid milestone-setting habit. I have a definite goal for how much I’d want to get paid, how much I’d want to save up in a year and yes, how much more I’d like to be able to lift after a certain time frame. I’m not the kind of person who’d ‘go with the flow’ and just see what happens. I’m in control of my life and that’s that.  This kind of attitude may have caused me mouth ulcers and then some, but at least it’s prevented me from complaining about getting paid so little or having to share a bathroom with my younger siblings. A big chunk of adulthood is about accepting responsibility for yourself and making plans for what matter to you. I’ll be 37 in two weeks’ time and so far, I'm pretty happy with where my cumulative decisions have taken me to in life. And I can’t wait to attempt the Bear Complex WOD!