#BEING A BUTT LMFAOO

[khrused-archived]

soft,  cherry  red  lips  only  seem  to  drift  closer  and  closer  ──────  an  intoxicating  pool  of  wine  tempting  hungry  lips  to  taste...  "  do  i?  "  her  words  now  are  hardly  a  whisper,  as  if  any  louder  could  risk  blowing  out  the  flickering  flame  dancing  between  them.  gaze  lowers  to  his  lips,  contemplating  her  own  surrender  with  the  thought  of  his  kiss,  sure  to  taste  like  cigarettes  and  relief... 

she  grins,  pausing  only once she is a  mere  breath  away  ―  emerald  eyes  suddenly  alive  with  mischief  as  she  taunts,  this  time  her  turn  to  play  with  the  edge  of  his  buttons.  "  tell  me...  do  you  like  getting  caught,  jack?  "

       Oh, he was in for it now. First the jab of a finger into his shirt, and then the twisting of her fist in the fabric — though Jack remained smirking through it all, in a way that he was sure made him even more punchable in that moment. He couldn't help it; Hera was fun to mess with. Pushing her buttons was fun and she didn't seem to object to it either. It was harmless. But when she yanked him down to meet her height, something else took over. Something about the tone of her voice, the distance of her lips to his face. He'd never doubted it, but now he knew for sure: she knew what she was doing, too. Jack cocked his head to the side, letting his dark eyes linger on her face. “ You make that sound... kind of appealing. ” His brow arched, as if inviting the possibility of... whatever this was. It was her move.

[papil0nglegs]

What about the mercs with a fem SO that talks in brainrot sometimes? Would really want medic in there but it's up to you!

Mercs x Brainrot!Reader

A/n: WHY IS THE TF2 FANDOM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA? 😭 I SAW ANOTHER FIC ABT THIS AND TWO REQUESTS ASKING FOR THIS PLS

warnings: Brainrot.. a lot of images being used, it’s a shit post who cares tbh

Scout

He’s into it too

Guys it’s scout

“Scout ilysm ur so nonchalant <33”

“Thanks babe ^^ I know I’m pretty alpha”

(Oh btw the alpha thing isn’t a joke he unironically listens to alpha male podcasts)

In the middle of spy’s serious moments you’d both lip sync ‘you are my sunshine’ to each other when he’s not looking

“what the bloody hell are you guys doing..”

“���perhaps itz a coping mechanizm zince scout doesn’t have a father?”

Medic really had to take it there

The ‘fatherless child’ meme was a coping mechanism for him tho

“I’m a fatherless child, of course I have abandonment issues”

“Um babe? Idk if you should joke abt that 😚”

“Na it just makes me more sigma”

You guys love to fuck with the blu team sm with your shenanigans, esp sniper!!

Scout would have his bat and you would have whatever weapon you have with you and yell “skibidi” before jumping him

Here’s something he DEFINITELY didn’t learn from you 💯

creds to urwhouchoose2b on Tik tok

Engineer

He tries so hard to understand

Whenever you show him a meme he does the classic old person holding phone away from eyes thing

Yk the

“Ok so this is the ‘im nothing like y’all’ fish”

“alrighty, and this is..?”

“Oh that’s the Freddy five bear meme, see it’s funny cuz his name is actually ‘Freddy fazbear’ but they got his name wrong so like.. yeah”

“…I’m not sure what I’m ‘posed to say ‘bout this, but I think you belong in a looney bin”

Once he had a project that had the word “alpha” in it and he hated mentioning it to you cuz yk

“giggle”

“…what?”

“Skibidi alpha”

“What??”

Demo man

HE LOVES IT LMFAOO

he’s so energetic esp when he’s drunk so he’s happy to have someone he can share that energy with

Y’all know that “Scotland forever” meme

Well you screamed it after another victory as a joke, but when demo heard it he was confused but also excited?

“SCOTLAND FOREVAA”

“OH? ALRIGHT THEN, SCOTLAND FOREVER 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿”

cut to him butt chugging beers

Demo doesn’t get it but he has the spirit

He’ll be right there replicating the TikTok audios after taking the point

Dude is drunk 99% of the time so he’s never bothered to ask what any of this means, he’s just in it for the fun

Once you dragged him to the bathroom since he drake too many beers (shocker) but he didn’t want to do it in the toilet cuz he didn’t want to ‘hurt his dear skibidi’

“Cmon demo you have to puke it out!!”

“Noo, take me to the jawbox I don’t wanna hert me skibidi toilet”

“Oh god what have I done”

I think you rotted his brain a little too much

Spy

Don’t even get him started.

He’s so sick of your antics it’s not even funny

“Guys we all have to remember that it’s not about the money.. it’s about the skibidi.”

Passionately grabs spy’s shoulder

“How have you made it this far in life”

Unlike engie, he really doesn’t want to know about it

Especially during missions

“lol spy you’re so devious ASF”

“shhh, enough blabbering!!”

“You are not carti 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️❌‼️‼️‼️”

You make fun of him a bunch, he can’t think of a single moment where you took him seriously

“Y/n get off the cart!!”

“If we were in Fortnite I’d have higher ground + double pump.”

[soaps-mohawk]

🌘 anon back in the house what whatttt

anyways been thinking about this for a while but I feel like later on in their relationship Simon is the type to (not necessarily in a sexual way) just hold reader’s boobs as…….almost as a calming mechanism???

They’re cuddling together in his bed and right as she’s about to fall asleep she feels his big warm mitt slip under her shirt and just cup her tit. Gently kneading it as a way to distract himself and warm his hands up.

same with using her butt as a pillow LMFAOO she’s reading on the rec room couch or in his bed on her stomach and he just walks in, pushes her legs apart, and lays his heavy and tired head right in the valley of her cheeks.

falls asleep of course, so she’s just stuck there until he wakes up bc she doesn’t wanna wake him up herself. Poor man needs a nap don’t we all know it

— 🌘 !

See I always picture this as being a Johnny thing, but I could see Simon doing it too, once he's comfortable enough.

It's just kind of something that happens, something out of the blue one day when he gets enough courage to just slip his arms around the reader and cup her tits. Not doing anything, just sitting or laying there, hands cupping her breasts and holding them. Sometimes he might gently squeeze them like a stress ball, but most of the time he just kinda cradles them and then he's out like a light because they're so warm.

Using the reader's butt as a pillow definitely happens by accident. He does it to Johnny constantly, but this time Johnny's not available. He's just so tired and the reader's right there and he just kind of flops down and rests his head on a cheek and he's out. It becomes a thing after that. Simon needs a nap and Johnny's busy? Reader better get used to laying on her stomach because he wants to just rest his head right on a cheek or maybe both.

[fumifooms]

They are so fond of each other I can’t…

Ep 6 crumbs comp

It’s gonna be rough being a marchil head during season one but that doesn’t mean we aren’t eating well! Damn if the marchil harvest continues to be this strong I’ll continue making these posts for every episode. Can’t clog up the semi-serious crumb masterpost with them making eyes at each other for 200 frames. He teases her any opportunity he gets help me… In this ep we see them continue their dynamic from ep 4, sticking together, unionized against the weirdos™️. They start the ep exchanging cute banter, but end it with a clash! And thus the first step of Chilchuck’s opening up arc has happened, and surprise surprise it’s Marcille pushing him out of his shell. Hah, mimic, shell, bc his symbolic monster is a mimic, haha, hehe.

Are you noticing a trend of them sitting so so close to each other btw.

I don’t like that he calls out to Marcille instead of shaking her awake btw. Like ok in the manga he shakes her while telling her to wake up dummy, she wakes up, ok neat. But in the anime… "Marcille heard "Hey, clumsy-head." and knew it was targeted at her, she went like oh someone is calling me I need to wake up lmfaoo??? Listen that’s good for the ship, she woke up because it was his voice and insults like that are practically his pet names for her, but I AM sad that we lost on Chilchuck being both mean and rough when waking people up’s legendary streak. Edit: Damn went and reread and realized I was wrong, he doesn’t shake her or even touch her, he just gets way closer than in the anime.

Ok we are reaching the terminal brainrot stop so this is it if you aren’t a marchil fan, but lastly tho… 😳 I am looking

I’ll also humbly say that they’re too comfortable shoving their butts in each other’s faces but unless anyone asks about it I’m not gonna post those screenshots lmaoo. It’s a reach but I find it funny that they both did it. Listen I’ve had 10 months to process their arc about her seeing him as a kid initially, I’m past that I can make jokes and glean for crumbs. But help… Why did she sound so disappointed at "I knew it you’re just a kid, sad…" GIRL HUH. And she looked soo happy that he opened up just before he said it too… Sorry girl you’ll have to wait 50 chapters. She’s so friendly and sweet

[jihyoruri]

LMFAOO sorry I meant like when they stopped being a fling 🙏🙏it’s been a long day.. (this English class is abt to be my 15th reason I am not annotating a whole book in a day she’s INSANE)

I FEEL YOU my english class is kicking my butt and it hasn’t even been a week yet

[hoshigray]

Omg yes you’re right, maybe I do need some identity lmao, can I be 🐆 anon? Omg it’s my first time being specific anon, I’m nervous 🙈

And I just read your new Sukuna fic, just in time after our discussion 🖤 You ate so bad, I fear, I loooove it. That’s my favorite trope, when you’re his wife, not just concubine or smth. And praises?? Pet names?? And pleaseee spooning position??? It’s so so intimate, in my list it goes right after missionary when it comes to soft sex. But Sukuna is fucking annoying with that “maybe I should get concubine” 🙄 Boy, stfu 👺 So in character, him talking about other women while in bed with his wife, can’t shut up for even a minute 😑 Still love his annoying old ass tho 💔

Yes, indeed, you can; welcome aboard, 🐆 noonie!!! And omg ty, I'm happy you liked it 🤭💗 and fr?? I have a concubine series that I've been meaning to get to, so hopefully I can read it now I kinda got the time !! And yes man, spooning just felt right (I was gonna make it cowgirl, but mmmm, maybe next time) bc I like the thought of true form Sukuna all big and handsy with you while whispering to your ear all slick and shit 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 NO DEADASS THO LMFAOO such an asshole bringing up other women, as you're butt booty naked and willing for him like??? Can't stand him fr, he'd got nothing but THE nerve to try you even in bed 😄💢

[evansbby]

For the Flirty Asks, #2, 3, 7 & 8 please.

Thank you 😊

Thank you so so much for the questions🩷🩷

2: do you like anyone right now?

Not particularly 😭 I wish my real life love life was more interesting but I currently don’t really have a major crush on anyone. The guys I do have crushes on end up always being in a relationship and obviously, THANKFULLY, that puts me way off them hahaha.

3: how do you act when you have a crush?

Not very smoothly I’m afraid 😂 With guys I do like, I’m always super quiet and stand-offish and I hate it 😭😭 I’m a naturally flirty person and I flirt with everyone EXCEPT for guys I actually like… then I just get super shy haha. BUTTT, after a few weeks of being shy and when I actually get comfortable around the idea of talking to my crush, THEN I get flirty. Like there was this one guy I used to work with I had a huge crush on him but bc of that I literally NEVER spoke to him. It took me three years to finally get fully comfortable around him AND THENNN I was super flirty lmfaoo. Like three years is actually crazy but tbf I was only 19 when I first liked him and in my teenage years I was INSANELY shy! Then in my 20s my personality kind of changed and I decided to stop being shy IDEK!

7: how could someone make you swoon?

Okay so when men do the thing where they put their hand on your waist or lower back and move you to get past you? I KNOW girls hate that and honestly if some weirdo were to do it to me I’d hate it and probably shove him away BUTT. When a hot guy does it?!? OMFG IT MAKES ME SWOON… bc it’s like wow, look at you taking charge! UGH IK I SHOULD NOT LOVE IT BUT I DOO. Also when a man smells of fresh soap, I LOVE that. When a man plays with my hands and fingers, I think that is so cute 🥹🥹 IDK JUST SMALL TOUCHY FEELY LIGHTHEARTED THINGS I love those 🥹🥹

8: what’s something romantic you wish someone would do for you?

Plan a treasure hunt type date for me. The one where there’s a clue and then you have to find another clue etc etc. IDK I FEEL LIKE GUYS ONLY DO THAT IN BOOKS AND MOVIES but if someone made the effort to do that for me in real life??? I would find it so cute and romantic 🥹🥹

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

“Past due for a diaper change “ lmfaoo TRUEE

it's ridiculous lol it goes to show how playing into the notion of bodies being a trend can make you look crazy. it's too contradictory. on one hand, you gotta be thin.. and when you're thin, you have smaller thighs. so now you have little ass thighs and a huge sagging butt that sticks out, literally, like a sore thumb.

don't drink the koolaid!

[sultrybaby]

Fallin' (EN- REACTION)

Enhypen reaction to you tripping down the stairs and crashing onto them.

Requested by: ANON

'Enhypen reaction to you tripping down the stairs and crashing onto them

Why? Cuz my head is running laps around the east coast prison near the asylum. '

💞Warnings: a lot of falling, im pretty sure there's cursing, really cliché at times, this honestly feels like a fever dream💞 Word count:200 something 💞Pairing: Enha x gn!Reader💞 Genre: Fluff, crack (can be interpreted as established romantic relationship OR platonic relationship)

Heeseung:

Poor boy was coming upstairs to check on you

When he saw you coming downstairs. He turned away for like...1 second and suddenly u yelped.

PaNik-

He ran to you in order to catch you but in vain.

You just smashed into him.

Both of you fell on the floor, Heeseung suffering slightly more than you did considering u used him as a mattress when u fell, while he hit the ground straight up (RIP 💀)

You both start checking if the other was ok

"Dude you good?"

"I mean u almost curried me but yeah wtv"

"Hey I didnt MEAN to-"

U both make eye contact and just...start laughing.

"BRO that was epic"

"r u srsly bro-zoning me rn"

"i talk like this when im embarrassed shut up-"

Jay:

Honestly

I can imagine him just, catching u out of reflex

Like you would trip and fall and he would just extend his arm and casually catch u (Damn that's hot 😳)

"Uhh..thanks man"

"Oh baby, what would u do without me, mm?"

Jake:

Tripping and falling onto jake would be so cute

Like i think you'd both be going down the stair when u trip, and he would wrap his arms around you and envelope you

"noo bby r u okay??? 🥺🥺"

You'd be a blushing mess because of how embarrassed you are, and he will just make it worse by pecking ur crown and being all "i caught you falling for me 😉"

He might even go as far as bridal carrying u down the stairs (provided he does not give up and jsut leave u on the stairs by then)

Sunghoon:

This guy would react similarly to jay

As in he'd probably catch u perfectly with his reflexes

But his attitude

OH

He is NOT as carefree as jay

This cocky mf is not gonna let u forget about it god

You'd trip, fall, and land straight into his arms. And he would push you in until ur noses are almost touching.

"If ur so desperate to be held, u can just ask baby"

And you'd eyeroll but ur also secretly, like, so flustered

And honestly HE'S EMBARRASSED TOO he does not know where all this confidence is coming from

Like he'll manage one more 'I see ur falling for me" before breaking and bursting into laughter, his face a red mess.

And u would laugh along with him, hitting his chest.

"You dork😡"

"You clutz 😡"

Sunoo:

Okay yall

Dont kill me for this BUT

I think sunoo would actually just let you fall LMFAOO 😭💀

Like he would be near the stairs when he would hear you trip

And he'd see you falling down, and he's jsut make that disgusted face he makes and move the fuck out of ur way like ur some dead insect

LIKE IM SAWRY but that is the only way i see this going down

And you would rub ur butt and stand up, and then he'd be like

"u okay?? 🥺🥺"

"I ALMOST DIED WHY DIDNT U CATCH"

And yall would just bicker endlessly until he notices like a red spot on ur elbow and gets seriously worried

Prepare for cuddle night

Jungwon:

The most normal out of all of them

U trip, crash on to him. He almost falls but then he catches his balance

He's lowkey amused but he keeps his cool and he's checking if you're okay

"Im good Im good dont worry"

He kinda dusts you all over

And then

Yall just go your merry way

Every once in a while he does bring it up when ur going downstairs tho

"Hey be careful...remember when u almost died"

"That's way too dramatic baby 😭"

Ni-ki:

The craziest out of all of them.

I feel like this would go down really badly.

He would probably be at the end of the stairs with some col drink in his hands, when you trip and fall

But he'd be listening to something with headphones in so he wouldnt know

Would get an inkling like a millisecond too late

You crash into him, he drops his phone and drink (which spills all over the two of you)

He would fall, and you would fall on him

Everything would happen way too fast and he would be so confused while you were embarrassed (and drenched)

You barely recover from the shock when you hear him yelp

"OMFG THAT WAS SO FUN"

Bruh wot 🤡💀

"Come on yn let's do it again"

So yeah you would somehow convince him to not do it again by getting him a new drink 

-

TAGLISTS:

Permanent all works

@gloomysunny @thomas-the-tank-engene @goldenhypen

Permanent kpop

@soobin-chois @one16core @hoonsmarsbar

Enhypen

@yogurteume @annoyingbitch83

Networks

@kflixnet @enhypennetworks @the-k-neverland

[rachelsennott]

not to be one of those radical anti medicine/“modern medicine is an agent of social control, pathologizing/medicalizing behaviors society considers imoral, ugly, wrong, that deviate from our normal/acceptable bc if it’s a disease, it it’s an illness, if it isn’t how ppl are supposed to be or behave, then we don’t have to accept these ppl and their behaviors, we can instead focus on curing them so they can become healthy and normal and moral again” activists (esp bc im a doctor LMFAOO imagine the fucking irony) but we gotta STOOOOOP pretending we (ie our society) really actually truly honestly gives a fuck about eating disorders.

society only gives a fuck about bodies they label as repulsive and unattractive. especially female bodies!!! it’s only when they are “forced” to see ppl existing in bodies (too thin or too fat) labeled as unnatural, as ugly that eating habits become an issue.

we fucking THRIVE on disordered eating!!! what girl doesn’t have at least one memory of being body shamed by their mother? who hasn’t at least seen one “omg i also live in a ‘mom only eats a handful of nuts’ household!!”? influencers and celebrities make fucking bank advertising weight loss shakes and teas on social media. not to mention the billion dollar industry of diet and weight loss books.

it’s when bodies become bothersome, when they become unattractive (“men don’t like fat girls”/“men like girls with big butts and boobs and small bellies”/“men like a little bit of meat to hold on, who wants to hold a skeleton??”. always men always women alwaysalwaysalways men dictating what women need to look like alwaysalwaysalways a normal body is a body men want to fuck and show off and lust after) that they become sick bodies.

on the dsm criteria for anorexia? must have low bmi. oh, u have every single behavior of anorexia but u have a high bmi? nah, sorry, that’s not anorexia! oh, u have every single anorexia behavior but a high bmi? then congratulations on starting ur weight loss journey, we’re so proud of u!!

oh, so u used a diuretic/laxative or u fasted before a big event bc u want to look good/fit in ur outfit? omg we’re just like kim k on the met gala!!! omg noooo, it’s not an issue, it’s only like once in a while, relax!

eating the entire mcdonalds menu on a tiktok video? it’s a mukang when they r thin and a “today i had a binge episode” video when they r fat.

the sickness of eating disorders isn’t, ironically, in the eating behavior, it’s in the body that bears the behaviors.

(if u try arguing w/ me on this post i want u to know ill fucking doxx u u ugly rat, i have enough money to pay a good lawyer i won’t even hesitate!!!!)

[enden-k]

How would you describe Zhongli's build? What sort of build allows him to look so dapper with his dumptruck ass with the turning radius of a waverider at full speed?

AKSCBIASBCKJSB SCREAMING

ZHONGLI zhongli zhongliiiiiii hmmmmm dont mind me adding childe to this too for comparison LMFAOO so how i would describe and usually draw the build, i hope i can explain it well enough but i doodled smth to show what i mean in case i dont explain it good lololol here (with extra butt)

so both are the around the same height (if and who is taller and by how much i dont know and i dont really care tbh so i usually go with just same height), with childe on the slimmer side and zhongli more on the more uh? sturdier? side. they both have nicely broad shoulders and backs before it trails off into a slim waist tho zhongli has a slimmer waist than childe and his coat accentuates it since its nicely snug around his waist. but zhonglis hips are a bit wider than childes and his thighs are also thicker than his. zhongli has like hmmm i dont wanna say hourglass bc it would be too exaggarated i think? his build is both elegant and strong/muscular like a warrior, tho he hides that a little with his prim and proper gentleman clothing ajkbc. childe on the other hand is completely built "just for battle" if it can be phrased like that? his shoulders and back are broad but the rest of him is very slender. he also got muscle ofc like zhongli but hes lean (his foul legacy is way bulkier and i also like to draw morax like that)

(regarding their butts: childes butt is like the rest of him lean muscle LMFAOBCKJAB small but still enough to have a handful. zhongli? he got that cake. you could grab it and there would still spill some out between your fingers probably. why? maybe bc of his thicker build. or maybe bc zhongli just decided he wanted to have the thickest ass in teyvat when he created his human vessel-)

i kinda like to think of, their play style/combat style kinda reflects their build, like zhongli got his thick and strong shield so its like his build is also strong and thicker than childe who is very fast so his build is slimmer to allow him to move faster? just my thoughts tho aksjbc

so yea zhongli and childe are both tall and slender, with zhongli being thicker than childe tho, but zhongli is not as thick as i like to think of other characters such as itto (bc my itto deserves the thickness and muscle he was robbed off AKJBCKJSAB)

[empiressmpheadcanon]

Inspired by the jimmy has scars bc of his weak dmged egg hc by anon.

I ACCIDENTALLT SAID DIO WHILE TYPING DUO LMFAOO

"you thougth it was joel and fwhip but it was me! Dio!"

Warning: i am not a writer. Im not good at these nor is english my frist language. Also this was not proofread, so sorry for mistakes

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They took it too far.

He liked being the butt of the joke, not really, but he could take it. That made him seem like the weakest empire. Despite popular belief, he's not. All empires are equal. Even the oh, so powerful Rivendell is equal to.. The Swamp Empire ruled by.. me.. Nonetheless it’s still true.

So why didn't they stop? Do they think my voice isn't equal to theirs? Do they think I'm below them?

King Mezalea and Count fWhip thought it would be a good idea to visit me, and when they came, they immediately started talking about how "the swamp looks so ugly." They didn't even called it an empire. Amazing how we're still allies, I guess that’s one of the perks of being my sister's husband.

It was fine, I could handle the disrespect. I can handle the insults that were being thrown at me. Fine, really.

I don't really know what they were talking about, the Swamp Empire is beautiful. All they could see was the mud and the "dirty" swamp water when my empire was so much more than that.

I just blocked out their voices after that, I didn't really hear anything they were saying. Probably saying I should've picked a better empire or saying this land shouldn't even exist. I wouldn't know anyways.

Until I heard the topic of my scars come up.

"You should cover them up."

fWhip started. I looked at them with wide eyes.

"I agree, it's unattractive."

"Unattractive? Look at yourself for once. You must had a good personality for my sister to date let alone marry you." I thought bitterly.

"You'd be looked down upon-" I cut fWhip off.

"Could you guys stop? I'm not comfortable talking about my scars." Finally, I had the strength to speak up.

They had a look of shock in their eyes. Their brows furrowed.

"We're saying this because we care about you."

"Cared about me? You're serious?" I deadpan.

Joel looked confused, but still nodded.

"I'm literally over here wondering if I should put you guys in exile, and you’re saying you cared about me?!" I screamed asked them.

The two looked stunned, they never seen me scream. I never scream, atleast not to this extent.

"I'm sorr-"

"Do you guys want to know something?" I questioned the duo.

Nothing.

"I.. would've been so much better, if you guys weren't here."

This shouldn't break Joel's heart more than it should.

-🐚

THIS IS RLLY RLLY GOOD!!!! AND SAD !!! AUGH !!

[jangofctts]

Could you please do something about your ocs eating out habits or kinks?👀

iMMA JUST DO THEIR KINKS BC I HAVE ANOTHER ASK FOR THE EATING OUT SO KEJKRJEH here yA aRE below the cut

Sunburst Squadron kinks

Blanche: size kink aLL THE WAY--he either likes a really smoL bb to swing around and just hug to his chest (or see that tummy bulge when he fuckin you kejrkjrh) or a veRY TOL bb he can bury his face into them tiddies or if they look like they can step on him. blanche is a big guy so with a tall s/o sometimes it’s cool to be able to look at your s/o in the eye kwjekjh. ALSo he do be bustin a phat nUT very quickly if you either bite him when he’s balls deep in you OR you let him fuck your tits.  Hair pulling--he wants his haIR YANKED, he’ll pull yours too if you want. mild handcuffs/ropes kink--he loves it when you man handle (as much as you can lmfaoo) and tie him up, maybe edge/overstimulate him. he likes a little pain like bite marks or scratches0--not toO much tho. oR ride his face, he ADORES that. it just shows how much he trust you when you tie him up so :)) (and well uh....he’s let you peg him if you asked teehee) idk if it’s a kink but kjhkj he gets hOT and bothered when youre being a badass or youre sparring with him. a Slight breeding kink--he likes seeing his cum drip out of you just so he can finger it back in.   

Blue: he likes grinding, ik it aint a kiNK BUT, he likes it a lot. he’s a bit of a crier too, he likes praising/worshiping you and doesn't mind if you return the favor. blue likes mutual masterbation--loves watching you fuck yourself and then when he's close he likes to cum over your thighs/tummy. he really likes your lips--they always make such pretty words and his name sounds so nice when you say it so, he reALLY likes it when you suck him off. he likes comm sex, likes to call you and whisper dirty things to you when he’s off planet. dont wanna say somnophillia but like he likes the idea of either you waking him up with a bj or him walking you up with oral, ya feel?   

Jaws: suCker for finger sucking--yours or his, he doesn't care. he’s big sappy romantic so..may I suggest...an oral kink where he’ll happily go down on you for hours with those puppy dog eyes. he likes when you ride his face or you offer to take him down your throat. he likes to do very light role-play like the “oH nO, there’s a big bad trooper who caught me stealing, whatever shall I do?”. he does have a kink for making sex tapes, they're kinda like shitty pornos buT he adores watching them when youre not there. he’ll make you watch them with him ifyou ARE there but--he just wants to document all of it wkejrhejh. he’s a bit of a joker so, he tends to run his mouth bUT when he goes quiet save for those breathy grunts yOU KNoW he’s close to cumming   

Sweets: sWeeTS BABY--listen, he is VERY vanilla at first bc he has no clue what he’s doing so ya gotta explore with him. tho he do be a big snacker so foodplay is something he’d like. put whipped cream on yours/his nipples anD YES he goes wild. tiddie fuckin is a yES, he goes feral for it, makes the most noises when you let him do it and cums verY fast wkjrhje. he doesn't like his hair YANKED but if you softly pull it and guide his mouth to wear you want him he likes that. ngl he does like fucking outside. he’s a nature boy, so his dream is just to fuck you on a bed of moss or some shit kwjerh--usually it ends up just being the floor. listen....yall forget that he’s an A Class sniper--boy sorta has a predator/prey kink. 

Kamikaze: kami is the nastiest mf ngl and like one of the only true tops in the squad kfhfh. his favorite place to fuck is the cockpit of his ship, or in very semi-public places. he’d rather have someone watch rather than watch you get fucked by another person, but he’d be fine with either. he likes teasing/overstimulation a littLE TOO much, so when you start to cry that’s when he relents. he likes handcuffs obvi, begging, likes watching you deepthroat and alSO likes breath play. kami is a Mean top so if you’re being too much of a brat he’ll spank you. he also has a kink for....vibrating panties ejjhejrh like if you’re in a meeting he’ll turn the vibrator on at the worst moments, yknow? little bastard man. he has a degradation kink to his s/o if a partner is into that   

Fuse: listen--this boy thinks he’s a top but he is Not krjkrjh. he’s a very bratty bottom and only presents as a top bc he’s so much of a brat that he’s always assumed he’s just a top wkrjkwh. this is controversial and I hate writing this but he might have like a mommy/mistress kink. he has a massive praise kink so do with that as you will. he likes wax play and also has a mild pain kink--heart eyEs mf when you give him a light slap on the thigh or cheek. likes biting and to be bitten or scratched. he do be liking quickies--he doesn't last very long but he can go a couple rounds sO quickies are his jam. he’s kinda a pig and will swipe your underwear (just a couple pairs ejrjeh) but dont tell him you know or he’ll just lie out his ass. HOWEVER. if yall are fighting or bickering he's a very big fan of hate sex while youre pinned against the wall yknow?     

Bruiser: tbh this boy is pretty vanilla when you first meet him (besides the size kink but rjekhkw), he fucks hard with a hand around your throat bUT once you introduce him to more things he'd be down. he’s an....ass man OOp. he doesn't wanna be pegged but he’ll buy you a nice butt plug or see how much of his cock he can fit in your ass yknow? he likes choking too but what reALLy gets him going is fucking in full armor. he thinks role playing is sorta dumb buT he adores when you’re already laid out on the bed and ask for your big strong trooper to come fill you up with all the armor on. he gets a thrill seeing where your nails chipped the paint when he’s on the battlefield. imma say it--he has a weapon kink. he gets so hard so fast if you kiss his blaster or grind on the hilt of his knife. he also likes fucking on furniture or walls--rarely a bed for some reason so ekjrhejh

Void: switch kjfhkwjhr--once he’s off the battlefield on leave and after you get him all relaxed he’s pretty mellow. he’s easy with anything you wanna try, what position you want him in yknow? you want him to kneel? sure thing. you want him to spank you? why not. he do be liking shower sex, something about the cramped refresher where there’s hardly any room for the both of you just gets hiM GoiN. he has a kink for dirty talk, so he’ll just be next to your ear the whole time chatting away. he has a kink for like, public places too I guess? mostly just storage closets but kjehrejh that’s p much it. ngl he’s gonna ask you if he can try to make you squirt, and if you say youve never tried/couldnt, well--he IS a medic after all kjhkjhr. he also has a kink for oral, so bonus points if he makes you squirt in his mouth. he hates anything that’ll leave a mark besides hickies/bite marks, sO that’s one of the only things he wont do  

[athys-obelia]

summary: no one's evil au lmfaooo but make it pt. 2

character/s: anastacius de alger obelia, claude de alger obelia, athanasia de alger obelia, jennette de alger obelia

and here's part 1 <3

oh my god okay. okay. so.

ana, claude, athy and jennette - they go on a LOT of vacations

claude complains every single time but anastacius pulls his trump card and sends athy and jettie BOTH after him

u think he's strong enough to say no after that? lmao jokes

and their vacations always go this way:

jennette: isn't this scenery just gorgeous, uncle

claude: indeed it is. and...quiet

jennette: ...too quiet

[cut to anastacius in the distance, fighting a bear as athy cheers him on]

athy + anastacius, hands down the most chaotic pairing yes i will not be taking criticism

they have tea in ana's palace everyday, just the two of them, they're so poised and picture perfect through the entire thing everyone thinks it's just the emperor giving profound advice to his heir

it's actually them deadass scheming,,, ana has no qualms discussing everything from court gossip to military tactics, both of which she's so on top of all the time

if anyone shit talks jennette or claude, this tea party is where their slow and agonizing demise is planned out to the dot

[true story - count sivan once made the fatal mistake of expressing his favour for athy as the next empress, dissing jennette by comparing her to athy sm which inevitably sparked a debate that ranked the princesses. a week after athy's sources informed her of the kindling behind this new debate, the count's sudden divorce became the talk of the town, and the man's business faced bankruptcy all of a sudden. the sivans still haven't recovered.)

athy n jennette were actually allowed to visit kiel in arlanta a few times, except it was too dark at their first arrival, postponing the meeting to the next morning

buttt then jettie can't sleep and she decides on a midnight snack run (their hotel doesn't really have the maids the palace does, but oh well. she's left the palace w lucas n athy plenty of times)

felix tags along btw, he knows this trip is important to the girls since they're leaving the palace without their Overprotective Papas™ for the first time and want some sense of independence, but... she's just so smol n he couldn't bear it if anything happens so he just shadows her

she totally knows he's there

n e ways so there's a juice place right beside their hotel which she aims for, but when jennette reaches it, it's closed

and out of nowhere, a voice addresses her - "hey you, do you come here a lot?" she nearly jumps out of her skin at the brunette, relaxing when she sees he's literally a kid around her age and not a murderer lmfaoo "me neither," he continues without waiting for her, pouting at the closed sign, before he asks for her name and whether she's new in arlanta

she confirms that yes, she's only visiting, and refuses to tell the stranger her name, still feeling strange at being addressed as 'you' for the first time (well, minus lucas, but he was like her brother and had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon, so)

he eyes her. "you're so weird. i've never seen a girl out so late before, and alone too. are you stupid?"

(felix has his sword out at this point)

she's flushing now and has no idea why she's still out here, but then this stranger kid apparently senses her mood and tells her the best ice cream store in arlanta is not too far away

(he also explains he knows someone who's starts doing weird things when she's hungry as well, and tries to defend that ice cream is actually a healthy midnight snack, "you can just take a healthy flavour like strawberry or mango, mangos are healthy,,right"💀️💀)

so jettie has travelled all the way from obelia, she loves her papa but he would have a heart attack if he found out she was ever awake this late?? yeah bc she's never getting this chance again, jennette accepts the offer

the stranger boy seems to be taking the whole "i'm not telling you my name," thing like a joke, and asks what he should call her since 'you' was getting boring

she goes with "lady j" and like a knight, the boy becomes "sir c"

(felix is on the verge of committing a crime - the princesses can only have one knight, after all)

they walk as the the boy navigates the streets in the dark, and she asks whether he's from the academy, seeing his uniform

"of course i am! you could probably tell bc i look so smart, right?"

she snorts. "yeah, that."

she also comes to know that this guy,,,well he might as well be a tourist? she's out here asking stuff like "oh where's the statue of lady alphia?" or "aren't we really close to the museum where they keep the first emperor's sword?" and he goes "lady do i look like your brochure?? but if you turn right from here there's a cool arcade and across the street from there is the best street food vendor you'll ever eat from."

well at least mans had his priorities straight 😌

"so can you take this off?" he asks, pointing towards her dress once they've neared the store

um???????? sir tf????????????

anyways jettie has been living with lucas n her dad farr too long to not take this the wrong way?? "...no?"

the boy raises an eyebrow "look, it looks like an expensive cloak but i promise i'll return it, alright? i gotta hide my uniform."

ohhhhhhh. 😳.

so she unfastens the cloak and because he's kinda just staring at it cluelessly (he can't even tie his shoelaces fight me), jennette sighs and moves the clothing over his shoulder, fastening it in place at his neck

he's literally a tomato when she looks back up and realises that yes, we are way too close rn

bc she's ana's daughter, jennette by default cannot function when she's flustered. so she kinda stumbles backwards like a fish out of water (years of princess training n etiquette? where art thou??) and 'sir c' has to grab her forearm so she doesn't bump into the pillar behind her smfh

the shopkeep is definitely suspicious of this pair that's definitely too young to be out so late, but chalks it down to his sleeplessness

they escape the store with the ice cream before the shopkeep can ask any questions, and 'sir c' escorts jennette back to her hotel. he climbs onto the roof of the building, helping her up as well

(felix wishes he had a magic stone to capture this moment, this is the first time he's seen jennette become such fast friends with someone)

she stands on the roof (it hurts her butt so she doesn't wanna sit)

"my sister would be so jealous right now," jennette murmurs, "she told me her ideal first date would be either a picnic or something like a moonlit walk. we're having like a moonlit picnic."

it's silent for a few seconds the boy speaks up, "is this a date?"

oh-

oh.

"i mean- i didn't- i don't- uh."

give her some time lmfao she's loading

"i don't really mind that," he tells her, and she thinks she might just walk off the roof in her embarrassment - who just says something like that?? "you're probably feeling really lucky right now, right?"

jennette: ✊😔

he does look pretty in the moonlight, she admits to herself, listening as he excitedly tells her about his siblings at home and how she should send an offering to the gods since they gave her the good fortune to be on a date with the most good looking one of all four of them

in turn, she tells him about how she spent her childhood away from her amazing dad and had gotten closer to him recently, about her sharp-witted uncle, her sister and friends

(the 'friends' section includes felix and he's melting)

she smiles - it's almost as if, at finding out he treasures his family just as much as she does, they've gotten a bit closer

and he tries to listen. jennette had guessed that his temperament was somewhat like her dad's - her dad didn't know how to listen, always making his opinion known before anything else, though she supposes as emperor he could do that

'sir c', on the other hand, tried his best, his blue eyes focused on her as he almost burst from the unsaid words he was holding back, trying to let her finish. the sight was an odd mix of sad and insanely adorable that she couldn't help but let him tell her about everything he couldn't hold in

sensing she could pass out from her exhaustion nearly half an hour later, and 'sir c' escorts her to her window and helps her sneak in bc "what sort of knight would i be otherwise?!"

(felix can't stop shaking the entire night)

the next morning, jennette's heart is pounding as kiel shows her, athy and felix across campus - the chance is low, but still...

"ezekiel!" comes a voice, and the four watch as a turquoise haired boy waves down the alpheus heir "are these the guests you mentioned?"

kiel introduces the trio to johannes vastia before asking, "where's cabel?"

"at the training grounds, he asked if you could bring everyone there so he could show them around there."

"... they're my guests though?"

athy is quick to befriend johannes (i mean she and his sister are practically the same person, so) and at the grounds, jennette's blood runs cold

(so does felix's)

the brunette doesn't notice her at first, arguing with johannes about something as kiel introduces him as cabel ernst

jennette is hyperventilating?? actually back up is this girl even breathing??

cabel ernst from kiel's letters? the 'loud and obnoxious cabel ernst', who gradually turned into 'my acquaintance cabel ernst', then 'hardworking, passionate cabel ernst', and finally 'my friend cabel'?

she'd actually rather admired this slow build of respect between her friend and the ernst boy, and had even expressed her interest to meet him

"this is the first daughter of his highness prince claude de alger obelia, princess athanasia-" cabel mock salutes the princess before his mouth forms an 'o' and he remembers to bow, "-and here's the emperor's only daughter, her highness princess je-"

andddd his eyes widen comically "-hey, lady, it's you?"

yeah jettie is on the brink of literal death - her entire face reddens as this...cabel, grins at her

she watches as he glances behind her, "and you're the guy who was following us - sup?"

felix flinches "...you knew...?"

cabel shrugs. "i mean you do kinda suck ass at the whole subtle thing."

"don't say it like that," jennette retorts, "felix was trying his best."

"princess 😭😭 you knew as well?"

"uhhhh no?"

athy + kiel in a corner: 👁️👄👁️

they watch as cabel's eyes widen all of a sudden and he just,,,runs away

...🐦...🐦...🐦...

yeah well anyway he comes rushing back a few minutes later, a piece of cloth in his hand "...*huff* here *huff*...you go."

athy totally flips out "jennette is that your CLOAK???!??"

"uhhhhh no?"

"um do you realise uncle would literally wage war at this."

and as if it would make everything better,

"i washed it," cabel offers with a grin

"you didn't," the vastia heir deadpans

"i mean, johan helped a little bit."

kiel smiles murderously at the pair. "johan, did you know cabel took the princess out?"

"wait, you're a PRINCESS??"

your honour they aren't very smart

so the group orders some coffee (milk for cabel smfh) to find out what happened, cabel mentions "date" and everything goes to shit again lmfao

kiel and felix scheme against poor cabel while athy n johan get over that stage pretty quick ("listen. MY sister will be living with ME after the marriage and if your friend wants to be with her he'll have to come with us to obelia." and johan's just like "fine by me ✌️😊") and start planning the wedding

cabel + jennette dip n sneak out of the academy again to get the juice they couldn't the night before bc shit is getting awkward here

on another note, our uncle cius' musical intelligence is actually very high - he can probably play more instruments than i can name tbh, but he feels most comfortable singing and i shit you not, this man has straight up an angel's voice

(didn't like singing in front of others coz he was secretly a nerd and only knew old love songs with deep lyrics, athy found out and educated him)

jennette tends to have nightmares often, most often regarding their family - she's seen her father murder her uncle for the throne, and vice versa, athy admitting her affections towards jennette were a front to get the position of crown princess, her uncle killing her to solidify athy's claim, etc - her family is her everything, so despite however many times these horrible scenes play before her, she's left sobbing uncontrollably

and on these nights, she leaves for her father's room, who holds her close and sings her to sleep

also lucas n jennette are like sibling duo# 1,,, jettie is an active lucathy shipper even though he denies it sm - like their dynamic is just peaceful walks in the gardens as she watches the plants n lucas shi talks the nobility and kiel

claude and athy have a thing for each other's sleeping on each other? idk it's weird

athy once fell asleep on the couch while reading with him, and claude moved her head onto his lap so she wouldn't be uncomfy sitting - well, she woke up to his hand absentmindedly raking through her hair and it was just so soothing that whenever she's tired and he's working or reading, she just plops her head on his lap and zzzz

and claude wondered what was up with that, so she proposed they switch roles and he felt so awkward trying to lay down in front of her lmao

obviously athy noticed and she just started reading, thinking he might be more comfortable if her attention isn't on him completely - she ended up reading out loud while playing with his collar and he just,,,passed out

also anastacius has definitely pulled jennette aside regarding the issue of his heir at some point - she had been hesitant at first before admitting she wouldn't like to be the empress at all

i know we'd all love to see empress!jettie and her sister duchess!athy ruling the court, but i really really really can't see her wanting the title?

so thus start athy's empress lessons, but holy shit her teacher is mean

like this man makes me want to bash his face in?? so he doesn't like the idea of athy becoming empress over jennette at all, all bc of both hers and claude's mothers being commoners

he has one of those long ass sticks that you use in presentation to point at stuff?? idk but basically mans has athy name every region, its lords and their vassals during their first lesson

the first time she gets one wrong, she's too shocked as the stick meets the delicate skin of her forearm to react

now the thing is, wmmap!athy would probably stand up against this bc her dad is the emperor and she's his only heir, but i imagine with anastacius' social nature he holds many parties / balls where she's probably heard claude's mom + diana slander and it wouldn't be unreasonable for her to be self conscious abt it (now she's the emperor's heir while jennette, 100% royal + noble blood, is right there which probably makes her feel even less legitimate)

so she endures it, the light marks on her arms as well as the taunts of his she's too smart to not understand - perhaps this is the price to be accepted in jennette's place?

and honestly, no one really notices until at breakfast a few weeks in, where jennette mentions how her dresses are still so modest when sleeveless dresses were more in fashion - ana is suspicious because athy is always on top of these things, societal trends and such, and claude is sus from the way she hesitates slightly in her answer, "i haven't had the time lately, i suppose"

the lesson after focuses on ettiquete since everyone knows she's good at politics and such already, but now tears of frustration are pooling in her eyes because what the hell?? this guy had made an opinion of her long before he even met her, so anything she did would be wrong in his eyes

he gives her a sinister smile, "tired, princess?"

"no," she insists, keeping her voice level. he's about to spout some other nonsense, when anastacius enters the room, taking a seat across from her

anastacius watches quietly as athy answers the teacher's questions in her "public" voice. he watches as her usually cheery disposition is replaced by something far more...dead, despite the front she puts on for him. he's soundless as she hesitates in her answers where she normally would've been louder, more confident. he stops watching in silence when his niece flinches at the sight of the stick

oh.

he interrupts her lesson, not missing the way she winces almost imperceptibly when he grabs ahold of her arm, announcing, "we're going."

he just- it's just that that was the moment he knew for sure - the sight of his niece emotionally disheveled for the first time reminds him too much of how his own brother had once been, and he'd... he'd promised he wouldn't let anyone hurt his family anymore

he ends up taking her to the port with some of his advisors to welcome some royal guests, insisting that she would learn better from experience rather than books - but the guest delegation gets so boring that he sneaks her out of the meeting n they end up in the streets

now athy has no idea where they are, but apparently her uncle does?? ana has his hand on her head as he navigates the streets of the capitol as if he comes here everyday, using magic to casually disguise the two of them

in the meantime?

felix is at the port trying to cover for them smfh, he makes up this huge story about how the great wise emperor wanted to familiarize his heir with the locals, understand her subjects, yada yada

back at the palace prince claude is currently dragging a man by his collar and only upon jennette's insistence does he throw him in prison rather than literally kill him

(jettie visits him later in prison to give the guy a piece of her mind, after felix's visit he's sporting a few noticable bruises and the prisoner is practically unrecognizable once lucas visits)

back to athy + ana, they end up stuffing themselves with some super good street food as anastacius confesses that yes, he has definitely been sneaking out of the palace ever since he was a lil kid

athy almost mentions that she, lucas n jettie sneak out too but that might give him a heart attack, so

"it's so pretty, uncle cius," she says, gesturing towards the necklace he holds up. once he's paid for it, anastacius fists the necklace, opening it to reveal the jewel pendant - now imbued with his magic and replaced with gold lettering of the word athanasia

and she realises that yes, that's what both him and her dad have called her all her life, haven't they?

"you're my heir, athanasia," he uncle tells her with a small smile, "i am proud of that."

getting teary, she tells him, "i'm really proud of you too, uncle cius," triggering a very flustered + blushy anastacius

this mans craves validation - not from the sycophantic nobility, or the obsequious concubines he'd dismissed all those years ago, but from the family he thought he'd neither have nor deserve

and just the acknowledgement is so large for athy - he wants her as his heir, not because she's his niece, but bc he trusts her to look after his hard work after him??? - yeah she's totally bawling her eyes out

anastacius magics her a handkerchief but my mans magic isn't that strong?? lmao he's used up so much by now that the 'handkerchief' turns out to be some scratchy tissues

awkward amirite

nope! athy laughs at that, offering him a sip of her drink as she magics another straw and a proper handkerchief lmfaoo

n e ways so when they return, everyone's shocked to learn that the crown heir, princess athanasia will actually be joining the official circles as anastacius' temporary aid - he doesn't wanna entrust her to anyone but family, and decides that the best way to learn is by his side

(she's so confused bc lucas doesn't normally bat an eyelash when she wears the prettiest gowns, but he deadass can't look her in the eyes when she's in her aid uniform - it's more like a suit than it is a dress)

yes lucas women in suits >>>>>

everyone is STUNNED when at dinner, claude proposes they leave on vacation??

anastacius is just not having it?? like no, this is not my brother, and he throws a grape at claude to check if it's a clone or sum (¿¿how does that work??)

anyays so he ain't no felix, ana's aim is ass and it hits jettie instead

mans nearly gets on his knees to apologise

long story short everyone preps for vacation, but by some aCCiDeNt claude n athy end up at a different destination than jettie n ana, when she suggests returning to the palace to regroup, mans deadass sulks

"so you wouldn't like to spend this time with your father, despite barely visiting my office for weeks?"

o-oh

so at their return, the nobility starts pestering everyone that the princesses aren't independent enough, yada yada idc so to quell this annoyance, to the girls' joy, they get to move into emerald palace together, while claude and ana stay in the ruby and main palaces respectively

literally emerald palace becomes such a cool place to be in since it's the residence of the only decent people in this family, the brothers spend hours going through the requests of maids who want to be transferred

it's such a busy time because of athy joining the court and jettie starting her studies as well - naturally, since she isn't becoming empress, she'll be getting the duchy claude + athy were to be given in the beginning

speaking of futures, jettie's interest in plants and cooking has definitely branched out into herbs

claude notices her tending to a small garden during his visit to athy and even gives her a few tips (he had been studying medical since he was a kid, and picked it up again when athy was born and the empire stablised somewhat)

this soon becomes a routinely thing, and he actually starts reading up on some herbs and even orders a few for her prospering garden

after a month of her learning from books, claude proposes adding a medic as one of her teachers, and turns out his hunch was right?? she's excelling at medicine and they keep it between themselves for the time being

it doesn't last long though, bc they're on a hunting trip when ana injures his leg

and !! this girl istg, she gets to cleaning and wrapping the wound without blinking an eye, as if it's the most natural thing ever, and claude is just smirking while athy and anastacius and literally everyone else: 🌟💞✨jettie✨💞🌟

literal tears coming out of anastacius' eyes "how come my daughter is smarter than me😭💅"

claude: that's not a very high standard, brother

anastacius: ✨suddenly i'm an only child✨

behold, the people in charge of running an empire everyone 👏👏👏

even though jennette is claude's (unofficial) student and athy is her uncle's heir, they both ask their dads to the debutante

yes athy does dance with lucas, anastacius sent him an invitation even though he wasn't a noble (he's an active match maker 😌) and nobody dared question the emperor's special guest

at the end of the night, kiel gives jettie a letter from arlanta - it's an invitation to the academy during holidays, from a certain brunette

when she brings up the subject, felix lets out a squeak and literally everyone goes silent 😭😭

athy n kiel are just out here DARING him to spill them beans

but anastacius takes on look at his excited lil kid and decides that yups, she's going to get everything she wants

a/n: i literally don't know how many parts this should have lmaoo but y'all made it this far!! thanks for reading i hope you liked it<3

[myhaikyuuthings]

Lol could you do the booty thing for bokuto and kuroo too? Thank you

oh happily anon

“Whatcha doin with all that booty?” 

prompt synopsis: kuroo & bokuto with a s/o who is in love with their ass

Kuroo:

he’s very observant i think

but he doesn’t say anything about you checking out his ass towards the start of your relationship

yeah he loves to tease but he was being the nice guy he is

for about two weeks lmfaoo

you were studying at his place and he was explaining a certain chemical formula to you

you were listening but your eyes kept drifting to his butt while he paced in front of you, text book open

“my ass isn’t going to help you in chemistry love” 

“maybe not but it is really nice” you shot back, causing his signature smirk to appear

if you’re kind of confident about it and throw a response back he loves it tbh

if you end up blushing and denying it he’s gonna tease you even more

ends up asking why you stare at it so much

“It’s just... really nice i don’t know how to explain it” you pouted and ngl he cooed over how adorable you are

10/10 the type to let you touch it immediately, no shame to be seen

def blushing on the inside though don’t let the cool act fool you

honestly if you smacked it in public or gave it a squeeze, he plays it off really well but he’s trying so so hard to keep that blush hidden

when you’re alone it’s very common to find him laying on his belly with you using his ass as a pillow

or if he’s been particularly annoying you’ll straddle his thighs and play ‘patty cake’ with his ass

(kinda nsfw ahead)

he finds it hilarious but on the down low he feels like you’re punishing him for being a brat

isn’t sure if he’s into it or not but he likes that you love every part of him an give him attention

great ass attached to a greater boyfriend

will get ‘revenge’ by smacking your ass back twice as hard

Bokuto: 

shameless

a Himbo so he is kinda... dumb when it comes to picking up on when the time is right to ask certain things

you’d been dating for one week (1)

you were at one of the practice games, hanging out in case he went into emo mode on Akaashi’s request

his ass looks Thicc in those shorts, especially when the material pulls taunt as he jumps around

literally no one could blame you for staring at his ass okay

but after a great spike, he turned to you waiting for his cheers

but you were so busy staring at his ass you missed it and didn’t react in time

“y/nnnnnnn watch me play not my ass” he whined, jumping quickly into emo mode

you had to apologize and literally explain why you were watching his ass instead of his spike for him to cheer up

in front of the entire team and Nekoma (who they were practicing with) 

very very embarrassing 

the Minute practice ends hes bouncing over to you and asking if you wanted to touch it

if you say yes, he won’t let you finish saying ‘but not in front of everyone’ before he’s pulled you in for a hug and plopped your hands on his ass for you

“oh that actually feels nice” he hummed against your neck, his hands resting on your ass too “so does this”

Kuroo never let either of you hear the end of it

as the relationship progressed you two were constantly touching each others asses

you know those couples in the mall who just grab each others ass all the time without a care in the world who’s around? that’s you two

(nsfw warning)

way into the relationship after you two had been intimate often, he brought up the topic of pegging

“you like my ass so much so I just thought-”

“yes yeah no i would yes can we try that” 

loves loves loves it 

peg this man 

i know everyone pegs (heh) him as a hardcore dom but like... you can be a dom an still bottom and he is the Perfect example of that

also i hc him as a switch but anyways

the b e s t to be with if you’re an ass person, will literally let you do anything to him anytime anywhere and will love every bit of it

[stolen-llullabies]

Shadow and Bone Rambles

So many thoughts and feelings. Did I stay strong for 2 days only to succumb to a 9-hour marathon even though I have 2 more exams? Yes.

Ingenious

Jesper and Milos

I love how the conductors version of a stress ball is a goat

I dont like the darkling but I like ben barnes so now what

"and I will be right here" i snorted so hard Im so happy to be able to see this

Also I loveee my baby crows sm

I love how the show adds a this warmth to crows banter that wasnt as palpable in the books.

Genya is so stunning idfk what to do

Also I love how they included that scene in the train with jesper that way anyone whose like 'bUT hE iSn'T RElEvaNT' would stfu

"No human being should be as proud as you are right now"

"Shutup, jesper"

Read throne of wolves and seeing a specific character broke my heart

Genya and david are amazing. I love them

Also, the scene in ep 2 was so unnecessary when right before her bath, they showed her butt like it's Ramadan??? behave.

THE TENSION BETWEEN INEJ AND KAZS IS SO THICK

LMFAOO JESPER FLIRTING WAS SO FUNNY TO ME

Mal smashing glass on the master is so funny hes like u deserve no rights, thank yew.

Lmao they casted the roles for those *men* so spectacularly I wanna kill em all

The apararat is so creepy.

Alina's reaction in the library to him is so valid, like thats all women to creepy men.

I'm laughing so hard omfg she just PUT HERSELF IN THERE AHAHAHAHAHA

Ivan is so funny

How the fuck is ben so attractive like I just want to hold his face

So u guys know how Mathias described the way that nina speaker as musical ITS SO TRUE the actress is so talented like pls talk to me forever

Zoya bby

Omfg that entire scene under the wagon all of it was just for us

Jes

I've never heard a word said with more disdain

Omfg when kaz used his cane as a reason to not help it was the same as captain holt pulling the gay card

Also kaz taking steps back when he encountered the darkling

When darkling said 'you're just a child but she's grisha' really shows that they're not ppl to him

Kaz giving that hint of a smile to Jesper when they were teasing him, please

Inej doing the one thing she never wanted to do for Kaz, and Kaz putting his entire empire on the line for her. I love them, your honour.

That entire campfire scene

I actually laughed out loud so many times, and that's so hard to do.

Bonus: My favourite scene is the one when the three of them are under the wagon, but my SECOND favourite is when Jesper opens the door, and David is just reading. I rewatched it like 8 times. It's so funny.