#BECAUSE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT THIS MUCH BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME)

[erralinadventures]

okay so, I saw this, and decided I was bored again(I'm always bored), and so I shall answer this for Kinnio! He is the only character in Erralin I actually played as a DND character, from level 1.

Yes. Though trauma is usually not something he considers.

Usually saving them from a physical threat, like a dragon or bandits.

Fun Fact: Kinnio is an Illeist. Meaning he refers to himself in the third person, so usually it sounds like he's talking about someone else if you don't know him. But, to the actual question. He would probably be like, 'Kinnio is a super cool warrior king who can vanquish any foe set in front of him'. or just 'Kinnio super strong and cool.'

They percieve themselves well, not really having any problems with themselves, except that he could just be a better warrior.

He stabs into the air a few times, yelling something random.

Thunderstorms. It creates fun battle backgrounds

1994 Toyota Corolla. Why? I've seen too many memes recently.

Eh. I'd say pretty decisive, considering in the campaign he was played in, he made a lot of...decisions. (Nuking a city, nuking a giant stone mech, challenging a demon king, war crimes, buying a tavern, hatching literally every egg he found, including a tarrasque egg.)

Like the entire menu. Not a scrap of that food is being wasted either.

Normally by messing with his hands(Cracking his knuckles, tapping his fingers, cracking his fingers.)

Romantically, he will immediately just be the biggest gentleman whenever he is speaking to them. Also he likes carrying people. Platonically, he'll just be really nice to you and treat you as an equal. Or superior.

I'll just say, there is probably going to be a dead dragon by the end of it.

Silver. While gold is more valuable, he does like the color of silver and normally has his equipment made in that color or with that metal.

He honestly could not care. A little lie isn't one that will hurt anyone.

Strangely, he does like weddings. He doesn't like the people much, but he will usually bring the biggest gift. As a King of Erralin(Modern Day), it isn't unusual for him to appear at weddings, even if it's a commoner wedding.

He is the target demographic for most modern men care products. So like wood and other 'manly' things.

we love the fact you have to specify. Anyways, He likes apples and melon.

Uh, I don't know? I've never heard of this scale, so I'm going to just....skip it. Though it was an interesting google search.

Fighting, and any of the ancient pokemon, or Galarian Zapdos.

White Chocolate.

I don't know any, so I apologize.

He is incredibly loyal and will fight to the death for an ally he trusts.

His trust is hard to gain, and one of the easiest ways is proving a capable warrior.

No, because he can't read...sometimes. Sometimes he can. Depends on if the book has pictures.

I again, have no idea. I think I'm just stupid.

He would love the drift answer, but yeah, he would just pull the lever. That is, if he isn't allowed to just stop the trolley himself.

Fight his way back up. Failure is not an option.

He usually works out or finds one of his many pets, commonly his dragon, Crimson.

I might as well give up, I don't like not answering questions.

He typically just does whatever the hell you want him to do. He is basically just going to just dedicate himself to you.

The Chaos. Honestly, he is very consistent, but also chaotic, my DM has expressed since day 1 that Kinnio was his favourite character in the campaign, and he has tried killing him off ever since, to no avail.

I'm going to assume you mean a different person's action, and not at all. Canonically, King Kinnio killed a shop owner for retaliating against one of the party members(He also had no idea the party member was in the wrong, he just heard someone yell for help and jumped into action. The party member basically manipulated him into it.)

Not very. Usually, he just acts then thinks later.

No. Especially with his party, there is only one person he trusts more than anyone, and would only talk to him about his plans, if he had any at the time.

Alcohol. Wine, Beer, or any monster drop. He would also be the only character(That I can remember) that you can give old weapons to.

The most beautiful face any person has every seen, next. But really though, of the people he would know, it would probably be a royal he met in the campaign he was a PC in.

A poppy, as in the world wars they were a symbol of a battle fought.

For every character(Except Sparta) I use a random name generator and alter the name slightly.

Meat loversx10. It's probably going to be like 90% meat.

He eats a lot, due to his abilities draining his energy. A lot of it is unhealthy eating.

Wish. He has casted it like 8 times between levels 13 and 16.

It wouldn't really make sense unless you played the campaign, but the royal mentioned before, her husband, Sparta(He was thrown into the campaign hastily bc the DM didn't want to come up with a shopkeep), arnold schwarzenegger(He was also in the campaign)

Himself. He usually doesn't think about what other people might want unless they mention it directly.

DND Ask Meme but it's random questions I've asked other players apropos of nothing within the last 6 months

Does your PC believe it’s possible to save someone?

What does saving a person involve?

How would your PC describe themselves?

How do they perceive themselves?

What is your PC’s idle animation?

What weather does your PC prefer? Why?

So if your PC had a car what kind of car would it be

How decisive is your PC?

If your PC rolled through a McDonald’s what would they order 

How does your PC fidget?

How does your PC show affection?

If your PC had to set up a date, what would they plan for it?

What’s your PCs favorite color

How does your PC feel about white lies?

How does your PC feel about marriage? Weddings?

What scents do you associate with your PC? 

What are your PCs favorite fruits (not including gay people) 

Where would your PCs fall on the futch scale? 

What is your PC’s Pokemon Gym Leader type and Signature Pokemon?

What type of chocolate do they prefer? 

What tarot would your PC be? 

What is your PC’s #1 personality strength?

What is your PC’s #1 personality flaw? 

If your PC found a book that detailed their whole life, from birth to whatever death they’ll have, would they read it and why? 

What are your PC’s charm point(s)! 

How would your PC answer the trolley problem? 

When your PCs hit rock bottom, what do they do?  

When your PCs want comfort, what do they seek out? 

Please describe your PC’s romantic type 

How does your PC flirt? 

What’s your favorite part of playing your PC? 

How much does your PC think about their actions before they execute them? 

How considerate is your PC? 

Is your PC an effective communicator? What is their communication style? 

If your PC was a dating option in a farming simulator (a la harvest moon or stardew valley), what kind of items would they like? 

Your PC meets a trickster being whose face changes to the most beautiful face a person has ever seen. Whose face is your PC seeing? 

What flower represents your PC? 

How did you choose your PC’s name? 

What would your PC put on their pizza? 

What are your PC’s eating habits? 

Does your PC have a favorite spell, and if so, which? 

Who is your PC’s favorite NPC(s) and why?

When your PCs make decisions, who or what are they making those decisions on behalf of?

[whateversawesome]

Spy x Family Ch. 108: Fear

Don't get me wrong, that panel with Twilight remembering his friends was beautiful. I think he feels nostalgic for that connection with other people. However, I think what really caught my attention in this chapter was Melinda.

Come on, look at this:

Look at this face of terror. And she was just remembering her husband's eyes!

A long time ago, when we just met Melinda, I wrote this theory about her being afraid of her husband. Today, it was finally confirmed.

I feel so sad for her. Melinda has probably been carrying this alone for a long time. I doubt she's shared her fears with any friends or family members because, who would believe the illustrious political leader could be an abusive man? This is especially true if there's no actual physical violence in the relationship. However, like I said before, violence is more than that.

Something tells me that the violence in their relationship is mostly psychological. Donovan Desmond uses his authority to tell Melinda what to do, to create fear, to keep her away from their children.

Melinda appears as such a composed woman who has her life together in front of others, and only someone as emotionally perceptive and caring as Yor would notice something is wrong. There's a shame component in abusive relationships: "How did this happen to me? I used to be so strong and brave," combined with disbelief: "Am I overreacting? Is he really that bad? Why am I afraid of him if he hasn't really done anything to me?"

Hopefully, in time, Melinda will realize that fear is not only her responsibility; even if her husband wasn't physically abusive, his behavior caused her fear.

Without a doubt is a complicated issue, which brings me to something that will probably complicate things even more:

Yup, Twilight.

I'll admit that this is the first time that I felt very uncomfortable with what Twilight is about to do, but that's exactly the point. Good fiction/literature is suppose to move something within us, even if at times, it makes us feel uncomfortable.

You probably imagine why: Melinda is a person in dire need of therapy. She deserves (and needs!) a true professional and instead, she getting someone who is only trying to gather information.

HOWEVER...

Time and again, Twilight has shown that despite his line of work, he'll always try to do the right thing and the least amount of harm. So, I'm hoping he will apply that in this specific situation. My guess is that it will start as a way to get information (his classic "for the mission") but then, as Melinda opens up, he will actually give her good advice and hopefully empower her, as a real therapist would do!

Something else to keep in mind is that Melinda story of domestic violence could trigger Twilight himself in some way, given his own family history. We will have to wait to see how that goes.

Bonus

A final note on Melinda's beliefs in occultism: it makes sense.

I won't comment too much on the specific meaning of the cards because my knowledge is limited and I'm skeptical about that. But I will say that it makes sense that someone with so much fear and uncertainty in her life would believe in something that would bring her reassurance that everything will be okay or try to know the future in order to protect herself. (I really want to give Melinda a hug.)

On the other hand, you know who doesn't believe in that?:

Yup, our dear Becky, who is one of the most authentic character in sxf, who is protected and loved by her parents and Martha. That makes sense too.

[sxorpiomooon]

How do men view you? A pac reading

Paid readings<3

Tip me!!

Check out my other readings!!

Pile 1-

They see you as a damsel in distress also this pile is too smooth with their words and I wanted to say that it's almost as if they lure men in and that was the exact moment this whimsical siren tuning started playing somewhere and this is the vibe that I'm getting. Almost all of the time you are telling men something they know it's bullshit and you are manipulating them but they just let it be😭😭 I see them just sort of not caring. This pile might also be very good with their mouth. LMAOOOO pile one let me tell you, alot of your male friends are only your friends because you do not want anything more or have not indicated anything more yet. None of these guys want to be your friend and I see them waiting for their chance and the moment they get the opportunity they are going to grab it. For some of you, these men might be trying to manipulate you if you are going through a hard time by portraying as they are supporting you but they just have ulterior motives so be careful of those men who support you too much even when you are wrong they just want to go to bed with you the exact words I'm hearing

Pile 2-

ooooo you challenge them and piss them off. This is mainly through word exchange and debating. You challenge men alot and they find you mentally stimulating this pile might have or will have rivals to lovers/ enemies to lovers with someone. Men find you complex and appealing and find themselves drawn to you even when they despise you. You might at times find men starting debates with you over the most silly reasons but it'll just be their own way to talk to you. It's almost as if they are doing all that because they know they won't be able to get you to talk to them normally in other ways. They think you are very high standards too men might restraint themselves from directly confessing to you bc men are scared by women like this usually. They are very attracted to you tho pile two trust me perhaps some of you might have never been in a relationship before it's not because men don't like you it's because they know they can't handle all that

Pile 3-

Alot of men that seemed to or are supposed to have given up on you HAVE not. It's surprising to me to see how men are just waiting for their chance. Alot of men are not your boyfriend simply because you've not yet given them the chance to it's like everyone's waiting for their turn. Are you someone who believes in concepts like fate karma or soulmates alot? I think if yes men might even try to manipulate you into thinking that they are the "one" for you. Men think of you as someone who's cold and sexy I'm also hearing intimidating. Some of you do that latina makeup or that tiktok makeup and they find it very sexy I'm seeing boys teasing each other over your names. You might have alot of rumors about you or misconceptions but girl it's jus bc ur pretty and everyone's talking about you always. Idk if you know this or not but men fight for you alot too or might want to show themselves as heroes in order to get your attention. Men from the same friend group might like you.

Pile 4-

Extremely feminine, if you don't dress extreme feminine and by extreme I mean quite literally extreme you act like it alot. I'm seeing bows, coquette etc anyways men might see you as someone who's very very divine feminine therefore very attracted towards you. They might constantly want to surrender themselves to you oooo this pile is good. You know the game pile 4🙏. Men also see you as someone who is very innocent dainty and deer like. They might also get the illusion that you'll save them this pile has pisces cancer placements I'm also having visions from the love witch it's something similar to that and I keep seeing lana del rey again and again I'm also seeing a deer. Men want to surrender and sacrifice themselves to you completely and might be ready to do alot of things for you😭 you also attract alot of crybabys who might want you to nurture them.

[just-sg]

And if "just ignore them and write it anyway" doesn't overcome the anxiety, here's alternate advice:

Remember that these are opinions, and it is perfectly reasonable to consider others' opinions, but if you ask enough people, there WILL be mutually exclusive opinions out there. You CANNOT please everyone, as in it is literally physically not possible, you have slightly higher odds of your molecules lining up exactly the right way to jump through a solid wall. There is not a single decision you can ever make that will avoid the chance of someone not liking it; if enough people see your work, someone WILL have an issue with something, which means you don't have to worry about "what if". Might someone misunderstand? Might someone find it annoying or boring or upsetting? Immutably, yes; if the answer is ever no it just means not enough people have seen it yet. So stop trying to do the impossible!

And once you've got that part, think about what you can control. Look at the opinions you're worried about and actually break them down. Why does dirtysocks574774757 hate that trope?

If it's "overdone", is that actually a problem? Is it popular because many people enjoy it? Is it a little cliche, but something you personally enjoy seeing in other words even knowing that it is? Or if the problem with "overdone" is that it's overshadowing other good options, does anything else appeal to you? Is there a way you can add a unique twist to the trope, keeping what you like while also making it stand out and having all the more fun with it?

If it's "unrealistic", are you trying to be realistic? Is this an escapist fantasy or personal venting where making things better/cooler/gritter/edgier/whatever than real life is part of the point? Is pushing this idea harmful, and if so, what about it is the problem? Is there a way to address that part without avoiding everything even slightly adjacent to the trope with a 40 foot pole?

Remember that no one's opinion is objective law. Even if something is overdone to a point of becoming a stereotype, as long as that stereotype isn't spreading harmful misinformation or actively shitting on people, it doesn't mean you have to avoid anything that even might look close as much as possible at all costs, it means be careful.

Ex: Your gay character can be flamboyant, I promise; the problem isn't camp gays existing, it's when the one (1) gay character or couple in a series is always Like That and little if anything else. So just don't do that part! Remember context, too. It's very different having a whole group who all act a certain way vs a group where only one/some do, ya know? I know this post was more about pet peeves and stuff but I'm saying, if even stuff that can be genuinely bad doesn't have to always be, then you also definitely shouldn't be stressing harmless fun tropes.

Above all else: remember it's better to do something right than to do nothing wrong. There is no amount of effort you could put in to make your work appeal to everyone, but the closer you get to making it tolerable to everyone (still impossible to achieve fully), the less likely you are to appeal to much of anyone. So don't worry yourself to death (or worse, to a point of never making anything) avoiding everything that might be offputting. Instead, when you find yourself worried about a potential issue, examine it, weigh your options, and make a conscious choice about if you want to keep, alter, or scrap it. As long as you're being mindful about your decisions rather than just throwing things in with no regard, you should be FINE.

People relate to messy complex characters, and what one person finds "unrealistic" could just be a thing they don't get, but that makes someone else feel incredibly seen and validated. People like stupid indulgent fantasies! And if you need proof people will actively seek out and enjoy reading the same shit over and over, look no farther than "Coffee Shop AU" or "Only One Bed".

In the end, there's little more powerful than passion from a creator. Write what you like, write what you'd want to read, make the points you want to make. There will always be people who just don't like the things you like, and no amount of trying to water yourself down for them will make them anything more than tolerant. So write for you and the people who do like what you like, and put your whole body into it. Someone will always hate it and someone will always enjoy it, and the more you write something you enjoy, the more likely it is that the people who do like it will really, really like it. Don't hold yourself back!

hey, writers. especially neurodivergent writers with anxiety or OCD.

if you see one of those writing advice posts that is literally just, ‘these tropes suck’, ‘this story idea sucks’, ‘this sucks’, ‘that sucks’, ‘all of this is horrible’.. don’t dwell on it.

these are just random people on the internet, okay? they’re just acting like they know everything and that their personal preferences are universal.

you don’t have to listen to them, write whatever you want, regardless of if dirtysocks574774757 on Tumblr/Pinterest doesn’t like it.

(ahem, if a user by the name of dirtysocks574774757 from Tumblr or Pinterest actually does see this.. sorry 😅 i’m sure you understand)

[thedolsideblog]

You are in the rear courtyard behind the school. Some of the students are running around and playing, as the facilities stay open for a couple of hours.

Blythe is there, sitting on one of the tree stumps. He seems to be thinking about something.

(1) Approach him

You walk towards Blythe and make your presence known. This seems to break him out of his train of thought, but his eyes light up when he realizes it's just you. He pats his thighs as an invitation to sit on his lap.

(1) Sit on his lap | ++ Love | + Lust | + Devotion <<

(2) Sit next to him instead | + Love

You sit down on his lap, making yourself comfortable. Blythe pulls you closer, leaning his head on your shoulder while one of his hands settles on your hips while the other openly gropes your thighs. He seems content like this, but he seems distracted at the same time. You wonder what's he's thinking about.

(1) Ask him

"You had a long look on your face," you say. "What's wrong? you can tell me."

Blythe shifts a little bit, but he doesn't stop his touch. ".......It's nothing serious. It's.....a bit silly, actually. " He turns his head to look at you. "I was wondering, do you want to go to my place?"

You don't see any reason to refuse. "Sure." You say, about to climb off Blythe's lap, but he stops you. "No need. It's not far. I'll....just carry you, if that's okay."

(1) Let him carry you | Promiscuity 2 | +++ Devotion <<

(2) Insist on walking

"If you don't mind- whoa!" You exclaim, as Blythe easily moves you into a bridal carry position. He moves from the rear courtyard to the front with no difficulty, as if you weigh nothing to him. Several students who are still around the school area stare at you, with some wolf whistling while others look with jealousy. It's a bit embarrassing, but there's a small swell of pride that blooms within you knowing that Blythe offered himself to carry you like this. He seems to be quite happy too.

(1) Next

As Blythe walks, he navigates through High Street to Barb Street. He keeps up a brisk pace. You think that Blythe was exaggerating when he said his place isn't far, but you wonder if he feels that way because of how fast he goes when he walks. It's a wonder that he isn't tired of carrying you.

Eventually, the two of you reach a flat building. He walks up the stairs to reach the second floor and finally puts you down to get his keys. He seems apologetic about it, as if it's disappointing that he isn't able to open his flat while carrying you.

He opens the door, and he lets you step inside first. The interior isn't big, but it isn't small either. It's mostly clean, with only the occasional dust or paper strewn about. There's a kitchen with a small countertop, a living room with a sofa, a table, and a small tv. You see two other doors which you assume leads to the bedroom and bathroom. Blythe gets in after you, closing the door and leads you to sit down with him on the sofa.

"It's not much." He says, dusting off the sofa. "But I really wanted you to come here. Seeing you here is....." Blythe trails off, a small blush forming on his face.

"Anyways," He grasps your hand, urging you to open your palm. He gives you a key. "The real reason why I wanted to bring you here is to give you this. It's a spare key to my flat. You're welcome to use this place anytime, even if I'm not here."

"Really? are you sure?" You ask, suddenly feeling the weight of responsibility on your hand. Blythe nods. "Really. I'd be a horrible boyfriend if I don't." He pushes your fingers to make a fist, solidifying the gift. "All that I have...is yours."

You unlocked Blythe's flat! What is his is yours after all. You're free to come at any time.

[kelloggsenthusiast]

if you're reading this - luigi mangione x reader

just want to let you all know that all the accusations made against this and are just that- accusations

innocent until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt

(not beta read)

he had been caught.

that's all you had been seeing all day. his pictures all over social media and the news, some demonising him and calling him a terrorist, others calling him a hero. you were just confused. three weeks ago, he just up and left your shared apartment without so much as an explanation. you wished you knew better but you couldn't explain it. you loved him and you thought he lived you right back. he was so sweet and doting and attentive to you, even if he hadn't been the same since the accident.

the accident... it had dimmed his light significantly. he couldn't hike or climb or do the things he once loved, being too financially and physically incapacitated to do it, and that's when you noticed his shift. you'd been seeing each other for some years, even talking about the idea of marriage before the accident happened. after it, though, it's like a switch flipped. he came to stay with you while he was covering his medical bills and you could see up close how it changed him. he became distant from you and obsessed with a lot of socialist literature, reading while he wasn't working. his parents and family called you several times because he had effectively stopped speaking to anyone since then. he was different and it was difficult for you to watch what had become of him now that...

you were on your way home from a long day at work, only made longer by seeing your boyfriends face everywhere. you had to turn off the radio because of all the news reports every few seconds. you couldn't believe it, but at the same time, you could. he had an implicitly calloused way of handling things that you'd always said would land him in prison. little did you know, it was literally landing him in prison. the health care system, after all, killed your childhood best friend and left him disabled and in debt. he was the one who just went to go and make his grievances known.

upon your arrival at your apartment, you headed straight for his desk and flipped through all the papers and manuscripts, reading through his detailed notes and excerpts from books and studies. then you saw it. a letter, starting with the words: if you're reading this, they got me. and I'm sorry.

your heart lurched when you saw those words and you didn't even realise that tears were running down your face. you continued reading thr note in his familiar messy handwriting, sharp and thin lettering you recognised as his.

I'm so sorry. I know I've been abandoning you and our relationship. I've been abandoning everyone. but I can't just deal with this pain any longer, and I can't bear to see you suffer because of something neither of us could have predicted. I've cleared the medical debts and paid for the apartment for the next three months. you're free now. and I want you to use that freedom to find happiness beyond me. I love you. but I know I won't be there for you much from jail. you've always been headstrong and intelligent, so I hope you'll understand why I chose to do what I did. I'm truly, truly sorry. I hope you can forgive me. and more importantly, I hope you can find happiness beyond me. I love you.

a short something for all of you. prayers for all of you in the states, I never knew it was this bad. if ceo's were popped as often as kids in school, gun control would be a thing. once again, free luigi. he didn't do anything wrong. - saïe

[lockes-woods]

10; Shelter in Place

!!!!!!!MDNI!!!!!!

Request: Here's my obligatory Mishanks (Sir, Daddy) request. It's not very exiting I know but I do love how you write them. A/ B/O dynamics heat, snowed in. I think i got everything. I’m looking forward to all your amazing stories. 💛

Requested by: @nocturnalrorobin

A/N: This kinda fully got away from me. The rest of the one-shots in this series will probably be around 1,500 - 2,000 words max. I think I'm so used to writing his pairing for Stuck that I was using chapter pacing instead of one-shot pacing.

WARNINGS: Anal, PIV, MxFxM, Threesome, A/B/O, Knotting, Snowed in, Smut, Heat/Ruts, Sir kink, Daddy kink, dp, creampie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-It’s the season’s first proper nor'easter and most likely the last one before the new year and it is a is a doozy! Northern winds have pushed the storm south at a breakneck pace. Those situated in any of the red and orange zones shown behind me on the map have been directed to shelter in place as the storm is scheduled to hit within the next hour.” Shanks clicked off of the news channel as the host transitioned from weather into a puff piece on dog safety during the winter.

“Well, it looks like we got an extension on our vacation,” Shanks said, he wasn’t wrong, your location sat right dab in the middle of the red zone.

“It’s supposed to be a record amount of accumulation,” Mihawk started reading off his phone, “I’d be surprised if we’re able to leave any time this weekend.”

“You won’t get in trouble at work, will you?” Shanks asked as the couple turned their attention to you.

“No,” you said shaking your head, “I cashed in all my vacation time. I’m not scheduled to be back until the 1st.”

“Okay, good,” Shanks nodded, “We should be fine on food and water. I’m only concerned about our access to firewood during the storm. I’m gonna bring in as much as I can before it truly starts to come down.”

“That’s a good idea,” Mihawk agreed, “This is some vacation, we came to ski and in turn roped you into being marooned with us.”

“Oh, no,” you joked, “How will I ever cope with getting to spend a few extra days with my closest friends.”

“Still, we should have been better at looking for the projected forecast; sorry Sunshine.”  Shanks said as he slipped on his jacket, before moving to put on his snow boots.

“Shanks it’s fine, really. We have a few more days together and I get to be doted on by two capable alphas,” you said with a smile, “I mean who would pass up that up?”

“We do not dote on you,” Shanks said, rolling his eyes.

“Oh? And who threw a fit when they found out I forgot my gloves at home?” You asked, teasingly.

“It’s below freezing! You could have gotten frostbite.” Shanks argued.

“I was going to buy a pair at the resort! How was I gonna get frostbite in the less than five minutes I would have been outside getting to the car and from the car to the resort?” you asked raising an eyebrow.

“Something else could have gone wrong.” Mihawk started in Shanks’s defense.

“Really Mihawk? I know it’s natural for you guys to want to care for me because of my secondary gender and all, but I’m not made of glass.” You said, rolling your eyes, “I swear I can’t tell if you’ve both gotten better or worse since college when it comes to taking care of me.”

“I feel like we’ve gotten better,” Shanks argued.

“I mean it’s not like either of you set a particularly high bar. Anything’s better than when you used to growl whenever another alpha got near me during my pre-heat.” You said, shaking your head.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing; you know we were only doing that because we care for you.” Shanks argued.

“Yeah, yeah,” you replied reluctantly, “I love you guys too, but it definitely hasn’t helped me try to find a mate. One of those alphas could have been it.”

“If our growling was enough to persuade them then they weren’t good enough for you,” Mihawk dismissed.

“Still, not all of us are lucky enough to find a mate that young. I mean fuck you both committed to each other by the time Shanks, and I graduated.” You pointed out to the older alpha, “Some of us are out here having to rely on heathub to get through our primal spells.”

“You’re not going to find a mate on heathub,” Shanks said, “Plus what’s your rush? It’s only been a few years since we graduated.”

“That’s not the point, I’m just saying you’re both very lucky. I barely have time to date in my free time. Which leaves heathub as my only option during my heats.” You sigh, “Speaking of my heat I’m gonna go take my suppressants.”

“Alright,” Shanks nodded, “I’m gonna work on the wood.”

“I’ll join you.” Mihawk said, grabbing his coat. You quickly retreat to the guest bedroom not liking the old emotions coming up with the way the conversation was heading. You took some calming breaths as you opened up your bag. You blinked away tears as you felt around for your suppressant bottle. You knew it wasn’t their fault for making you feel this way but fuck how were you supposed to cope with being in love with two of your closest friends. As much as it pained you to not act on your feelings you knew it would exponentially be worse to lose them all together.

You took one last deep breath before zoning back in at the task at hand. You furrowed your eyebrows as you felt around your bag still not touching anything remotely bottle-shaped. You had finished off a bottle the day before, but you always packed extra. Especially when you were going to be around either alpha, you had always been extra sensitive to their scents. To the point that when you were roommates you were sent into an early heat just by smelling the faintest whiff of their scent during their rut. You could feel your pulse spike as you turned over your bag and frantically shook out all of its contents. It needed to be here. Scratch that it had to be here. It had already been a little over 24 hours since you took the last pill, meaning that there was most likely none of it remaining in your system. Your breath turned sporadic as you cleared out all your clothing to the side along with your toiletries. Desperate, you picked up the bag and looked in every nook and cranny of each pocket hoping against hope that you missed it during your first pass.

You were in such a frenzy you hadn’t even noticed the souring of your scent as you went into the hallway to the bathroom to make sure you hadn’t just left it in there the night before. After giving the bathroom, a once over and finding nothing anxiety set in. Your breathing turned erratic. You had no idea how to cope. You were stuck here for the next 24-36 hours before the roads would be drivable again. You were so in your head that you hadn’t noticed the loud steps rushing towards you. You were in a blind panic. You could feel yourself becoming lightheaded one moment, to the next being held in Shanks’s arms. You took a deep breath of Mihawk’s earthy scent as you began to calm down.

“I’m sorry, fuck I’m so sorry,” You choked out, as your breathing began to even out again.

“Shh, it’s okay baby.” Shanks said, cupping your face and wiping away your tears. You hadn’t even noticed you were crying until his calloused hands glided across your cheeks. You took a few more deep breaths as you felt yourself coming down to earth. Through your tears, you could just make out a concerned Mihawk hovering over Shanks’s shoulder.

“There we go,” Shanks said smiling down at you as your breathing finally evened out.

“Are you okay sunshine?” Mihawk asked. You swallowed a cry from deep in your throat as you blinked back tears threatening to spill again.

“I’m s-sorry,” is all you could make out.

“Baby, I’m sure whatever happened we can get through,” Shanks said, looking down at you with an emotion you couldn’t place.

“What has got you all riled up?” Mihawk asked.

“I-my I’m out of suppressants.” You manage to just spit out before your breathing begins to ramp up again. Shanks and Mihawk shared a look over his shoulder as you began to nervously ramble, “I’ll stay in my room. We could maybe barricade it? I could put the dresser in front of the door-”

You were cut off mid-sentence by Shanks’s warm, slightly chapped lips pressing against yours. Your eyes widened, as he slipped his hand behind your neck and tilted your head to deepen the kiss. It felt like your brain turned off as your eyes fluttered shut. You opened your mouth unprompted, letting the alpha dominate the kiss. A whine keened in your throat as he delicately pulled away.

“I-I” you stuttered as your brain began to buffer.

“I think you broke her,” Mihawk said jokingly, maintaining his monotone voice.

“W-what, why-” you started, still processing, “I’m sorry-” you started heading down a void of existential crisis; not being able to process what you never thought was an option.

“Shh it’s okay love,” Shanks reassured, gently, “We’re not mad.”

“What- but, I might trigger your ruts,” you said, still processing the situation.

“Darling, that’s okay,” Mihawk said, in a calming tone, “If anything this is a blessing in disguise.”

“A blessing?” you asked.

“We love you, baby,” Shanks said, explaining slowly as you began to truly understand the situation.

“But you’re married and mated. Why-,” you started.

“Love, we’ve been pining after you for a while now,” Mihawk cut you off, “We’d love to get you through your heat. That is if you’ll have us.”

“But, why now? How long-”

“Long,” Mihawk said, answering the unasked question.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” you asked.

“We were too scared of losing you to make a move,” Shanks explained. You nodded understandingly as everything finally began to click in place for you.

“Would this just be a one-time thing?” you asked.

“No,”

“Fuck I hope not,”

Mihawk and Shanks replied simultaneously. You laughed at Shanks’s response, while Mihawk gave him side-eye. Your laughter was cut off by a sudden spark in your core, you suddenly felt very warm, as you clenched around nothing. The sole need of wanting to be filled floating to the surface. You bit your lip looking up at the two alphas, the tone in the room shifting as their eyes locked with your hooded ones.

“Alpha,” you said looking up between them, any lingering nerves long gone as your inner desire surfaced. The next few minutes were a blur as you were corralled into the master bedroom, sharing needy kisses while the couple took turns undressing you. You suddenly found yourself naked in between the fully dressed alphas. All you could do was whine as you ground against each of their clothed erections. You moaned at their size, too far gone to question how either, let alone both of them fit.

“Fuck, daddy please,” you begged as Shanks kissed over your sensitive neck. He honed in on that spot sucking and nipping at it until a sizeable hickey formed. You could feel him throb against your backside.

“How’d did you know to call him that?” Mihawk questioned, tilting your chin up to force eye contact.

“Thin wall,” you panted.

“Is that right?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you hummed, “yes, sir.”

Mihawk’s eyes sharpen at your claim of him as ‘sir’, he quickly tugged off his shirt before once again pulling you in for a desperate kiss. All you could do was moan into the kiss, your nipples rubbing against his chest, already hard from the drafty air.

“Fuck,” Shanks groaned behind you, “How do you want us love?”

“In me,” you begged, gasping for air as you pulled away from Mihawk’s lips.

“No which one of us baby,” Shanks clarified.

“I want both,” you whined.

“Darling there’s no way we’ll both fit in your pussy,” Mihawk soothed, attempting to stifle a groan at the feeling of your slick soaking through his trousers.

“Please,” you whine, “I want both my holes filled,”

“Have you ever done anal?” Shanks asked, needing your ass.

“Yes,” you gasped as Mihawk slipped his hand between your thighs, immediately finding and rubbing your clit.

“Do we need condoms?” Mihawk questioned.

“Mhm, no,” you whined, “I have the implant.”

“Fuck,” Shanks groaned taking in the sight of your wet pussy after Mihawk knocked your thigh apart for better access.

“There’s so much slick, I don’t think we need any lube,” Shanks said in awe, “Do all omegas produce this much slick, or is our baby special?”

You whine, burrowing your face into Mihawk’s shoulder as they talk about you like you aren’t sandwiched between them.

“Fuck, I haven’t fucked an omega in a while, but even in heat this is a lot.” Mihawk forced out, freeing his cock from his pants.

“I wanna taste; is that okay baby?” Shanks asked playfully, “It looks like you have plenty to go around.”

“Do be careful not to drown in it, that pool of slick’s big enough to warrant a lifeguard.” Mihawk teased, rubbing his cock up and down your slit. Shanks moaned unabashedly at the taste of your slick.

“Fuck, she’s as sweet as she looks,” he groaned, collecting a decent amount of slick on his finger tops before he began to tease your asshole. You needily ground back against his digits as Mihawk teased the head of his cock at your entrance. You rocked back and forth as their movements sped up. You were a moaning mess as you were manhandled, bouncing on and off their cocks. Your mind went blank as your orgasm crashed through you without warning.

“Fuck, where do you want us baby?” Shanks gasped out at your tightening walls.

“In me please daddy. Fuck please daddy I’ll be such a good girl.” You begged as overstimulation started to build. Shanks shot off first, collapsing against your back as his knot catches your entrance. You both moaned as Mihawk pressed on. Overstimulated tears kissing the corners of your eyes as he used you to get off. Just as you turned the corner of pain to pleasure Mihawk’s thrust began to get sloppy. He reached between you and began to stimulate your clit in rhythm with his thrusts. He held on just long enough to trigger another orgasm. Shanks whimpered in your ear as you once again clenched down on his spent cock. The three of you fell down on the bed in a connected pile of lust and years of repressed feelings.

There was no question if you were warm enough as your heat fully took over.

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[naughtyneganjdm]

Threads of Desire: A Christmas to Remember - Chapter 4

Summary: After her night with Daryl, Y/N goes into work and discovers that Negan is already there waiting for her, desperate for a conversation. Multiple events lead to the two of them growing closer with Negan starting to realize he was blind to things in the past and it makes him feel guilty.

Characters: Negan Smith, the reader (OC), Maggie Greene, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61111030/chapters/157485796

Warnings: Swearing, Cheating, Angst, Smut, Heavy Touching, A moment of non-con, etc.

Notes: I edited this at 2 in the morning. I'm sure I could have done a better job, but it's the best I have for now. In this chapter, there is some non-con in this chapter that could be uncomfortable for some reading. I want to put it out there beforehand.

Waking up this morning was hard. First, it was the hangover. The gnawing, aching migraine that felt miserable. Even opening her eyes was incredibly hard because the light that was filtering into the apartment increased the ache she was feeling. That was the alcohol hitting her back. Then it was the fact she didn’t have an alarm set. So by the time she woke up at Daryl’s place, she had no idea where she was or when it was. It took a while for her to gather herself. And surprisingly? She didn’t give a fuck when she woke up this morning. That wasn’t like her at all. Maybe after last night she decided to say fuck the world and do her own thing because at that moment? Nothing mattered to her.

At some point during the night she had fallen asleep only to wake up with Daryl laying face first into the pillows with his arm loosely hooked around her waist. Being in that position only reminded her how much Daryl actually wanted more out of their friendship. And that’s why she thought sleeping with him was wrong in the first place. But that didn’t stop her. Which really made her feel bad the longer she thought about it.

Daryl was always incredibly shy. It took a lot for her to even get him to say more than a sentence or two when they were hanging out together when they first started spending time together. And originally she had just thought they were friends. When Maggie and Negan slept together and she walked in on it? She was devastated. And she went to Daryl who said the most amazing things to her. They were both drunk and they fell into one another. Daryl had always commented that she should have fell in love with him instead of Negan, but she always thought he was joking at first. But it didn’t take long for her to realize that Daryl did in fact have feelings for her. The only bad thing is that her feelings for Negan had always clouded those that she had for Daryl. The crush on Negan came first. Part of her had wished she met Daryl first because then she wouldn’t have such conflicting feelings about everything.

Getting out of the bed wasn’t that hard. Daryl was a heavy sleeper. So that meant that he wouldn’t wake up when she left. It took her longer to get ready and before she left, she wrote him a note. Running away without saying some kind of goodbye after having sex last night was an absolute no-no in her book. Putting the note on the pillow she slept on last night, she knew that she needed to head out. Even though she would have rather stayed with Daryl to hang out for the rest of the day instead. Being late today was one thing, but if she was exceedingly late she knew she’d never hear the end of it.

But the biggest problem? She didn’t have any clothes at Daryl’s. She had the clothes Daryl gave her and the dress she wore to the event. That meant she had to run to the store to get something nice enough to wear to work.

But because of her being late? That meant no coffee shop stop to pick up Maggie’s favorite drink. It was her having to run straight to work to get done what she needed to. Which was prepare Maggie for her meeting. Check the e-mails. See if there were any messages. Daily chores that Maggie had for her before Maggie even got to work. Then again? She even questioned if she would have gotten Maggie that stupid drink in the first place. From here on out, she really didn’t feel like running to that coffee shop every morning. What was the point in going above and beyond for someone that wasn’t even her friend and made that evidently clear? There was none.

Getting to work, she wished one of the stops she would have made was at a store to pick up some Tylenol. The headache that she had only grew worse with this cold weather and not having something all day was going to suck. There was no questioning that Maggie was going to be furious with her today. Especially since she didn’t go out of her way to get that drink and she showed up a few hours later than she normally did. Maggie would see that as her being rebellious after what she discovered. And she could only picture what she was in for today.

Last night after they had slept together, Daryl had extensively attempted to get Y/N to reconsider her decision about staying at the company. Daryl wanted her to quit. Listing off all the reasons she didn’t need to be there. And while she appreciated the idea of Daryl letting her live in his apartment for a while, she didn’t want to be a loser. Anything she did, she wanted to do on her own. Which meant keeping her head down and doing what she could here until she could find another job. Daryl promised her safety and assured her she would have a place to stay, but that was a last resort for her. If nothing else worked, moving in with Daryl didn’t seem so bad. It was nice that she had someone who promised that they wouldn’t let anything happen to her. There was just one thing that Daryl couldn’t keep safe. And that was her relationship with Negan’s daughter, Jordyn. Nothing was more important to her than Jordyn. So she didn’t want to piss Maggie off that bad.  

That didn’t mean she forgot everything that happened or the things that she learned. Last night confirmed a lot of things for her. And that would change their friendship moving forward. Because now? She knew that their whole friendship was a sham. It was fake. A steppingstone for Maggie to feel better about herself. So that was something Y/N was going to have to live with too.

Waiting for the elevator today was twice as annoying as normal. Instead of pushing herself in with the large group of people waiting to get up, she just stood in the back until she could get a less busy one. But even the sound of the elevator was increasing the tension in her head. And it made her groan out. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she wished she would have just stayed at Daryl’s. This was stupid. She could have maybe gotten away with one day off from work with Maggie. Made Maggie panic a bit. Because her head was throbbing.

Waiting for everyone to get off the elevator, she was the last to leave. Dragging her feet along, she didn’t lift her head until she almost reached the office. But when she did? She felt her chest aching at the sight. Standing up from the couch in the office once he saw her near was Negan.

“Shit,” she muttered under her breath noticing the way that his hazel eyes were locked on her already. It was too fucking early for this and she already felt terrible. With how quickly she rushed out this morning, she could only imagine how awful she must have looked. But him? He looked good. He always looked good. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing a pair of his black, thick framed glasses.

Pausing for a moment as she reached out for the door to the office, she wondered what she would even say. The last thing she wanted to do was talk to him right now. After the mess of things she made last night and what she learned with Maggie cheating, she didn’t even want to see Negan for a long time. It would have been nice if there was someone that could have helped her get Negan out of that office, but she knew that everyone else was busy. And no one would do her any favors.

Lifting her head again she realized that there was a drink carrier with coffees on Maggie’s desk and it made her scoff. Assuming those were for Maggie had her rolling her eyes. Well, today would be like every other day.

“Keep your head down, say nothing,” she coached herself, so badly wanting this whole thing to be over with. If she could have gone back and erased everything she said from Negan’s mind, she wished she could have. Then again? She wished she could have erased what she had seen happen between Guy and Maggie too. That would have made seeing Negan much easier today. Pushing forward, she headed into the office. Opening the door, she stepped inside and it had Negan stepping forward. Shoving his hands into his pockets, it looked like Negan wanted to say something but the color drained from his face. “Morning.”

“Good morning,” he repeated back what she had said, his hazel eyes following her movements when she set the presentation drawings down in the corner of the room on Maggie’s drawing table. Right now? She was avoiding Negan at all costs, moving around the office like he wasn’t even there. Heading over to the desk, she sat down in the chair and saw out of the corner of her eye that Negan was approaching it. “If you’re waiting for Maggie, she’s going to be a little while longer.”

“I’m not waiting for Maggie,” Negan grunted, his brow line creasing when he got to the area beside her. Sitting on the corner of the desk, his eyes were locked on her and he shrugged. “I’m here for you. I went to your apartment this morning, but you weren’t there. So I came here.”

Pausing after logging into Maggie’s computer, she pushed the chair back and her eyes connected with Negan. Leaning back, Negan grabbed the drink that he had gotten for her. Holding it out for her, Negan teased it just beneath her nose, “I got you your favorite. Well, what I think your favorite still is after this long. I got you what your favorite was when the two of us were spending a lot of time together.”

Thinking things over, the realization started to set in. Exhaustion was still eating away at her. Accepting the latte that Negan had gotten for her, she took a sip of it. Giving a nod, she set it beside her and cleared her throat uneasily, “It’s still my favorite.”

“Good,” Negan seemed proud, reaching for the coffee that he had gotten himself. “It means my memory isn’t as shit as I thought it was.”

“Why are you here?” she wondered, clutching tightly to the coffee cup that Negan had gotten for her. “And why would you even bother going to my apartment this morning? Last night was a mess. One we need to forget and just pretend didn’t happen.”

“Because you wouldn’t answer your phone or any of your texts,” Negan explained, shrugging his shoulders, a frown tugging at his handsome features. “How else am I gonna get you to talk to me? This was the only place I knew you would be.”

“I have a lot of work to do Negan,” she stressed to him, going back to look through the e-mails that were on the computer. “If I don’t get through all of these, Maggie is going to be really upset with me. She’s going to want me to have these finished by the time she gets here. Plus I have to prepare her things for her meeting today. Usually I get here much earlier than this, but I slept in this morning and…”

“I think you needed to sleep in this morning,” Negan suggested, tipping his head to the side before taking a sip of his coffee. “Hopefully you got a lot of sleep last night after you ran off on me and scared the shit out of me when you wouldn’t answer your phone. A drunk girl running through the streets of New York so late at night isn’t the best of ideas.”

Thinking about how last night went, she licked her lips and shifted in Maggie’s chair uncomfortably, “I’m a big girl Negan, I can take care of myself. And as for sleep? Not as much sleep as I would have wished to have gotten.”

Elaborating was not part of the plan there.

Pushing his way between her and the computer, Negan made it so she wouldn’t be able to go through the e-mails that she did every morning. Huffing out, she snatched her coffee from the desk again and held onto it. Negan’s eyes were staring down at her and she felt like a child in that moment.

“I think Maggie will cope if you don’t do exactly what she should be doing every morning, not you,” Negan suggested, his jaw flexing when he made it clear that he wasn’t about to let her get to her work. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving. I’m here to talk to you and I’m not leaving you alone until we talk today.”

“Negan, there is nothing to say,” she frowned, forcing herself to look away from his hazel eyes. So badly she wanted to tell him everything, but she knew what the outcome would be if she did. Nothing but trouble for her and she couldn’t cause tension that would keep her away from Jordyn. “I was overly emotional last night and I let things get to me. Usually I’m good at keeping my mouth shut. Last night, I wasn’t. Trust me, it’s not going to happen again, so you don’t have to worry.”

“But I’m already worried,” Negan slurred, clicking his tongue against the top of his mouth. “You can’t tell me not to fucking worry when I’m already worried. It’s there. It isn’t leaving me. So fuck the whole don’t worry thing. What I saw and heard yesterday? That’s not something I’m used to. At all. So, I’m pretty fucking worried.”

“You have your own family to worry about,” she reminded him, still having a hard time looking at Negan. Both from what she did in front of him and what she knew about Maggie. “I appreciate that you care enough about me to come and check in on me, but I don’t matter at the end of the day. Especially when it comes to your life.”

“You matter very much to me,” Negan stammered, his raspy voice growing more concerned with the way she was talking about things. “I don’t want you to end up in a place like I was when you had to help me through things. That’s a place I never want to end up back in, but more than anything that’s a place I never want to see someone that I care about end up. It’s a fucked up place.”

“I don’t have time to end up in a place like that,” she assured Negan, taking another sip of the latte that he had gotten for her. Lifting her eyes, she stared up at him. There was genuine concern in his expression and she didn’t even know why. “If I had time to sit to myself and think about all the woes in my life, then yeah. I might end up in a place like that. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately in this case, my job doesn’t allow me the time for that. Is my life miserable? Yeah. Do I hate my job? Yes. I do. Do I think things that I want to so desperately say but then end up not saying them? Yes. But that’s life. We all have to go through things we don’t want to.”

“And I’d like you to talk to me about those things,” Negan explained, sucking at his bottom lip after she rolled her eyes. “Come on, this isn’t like you. The two of us are close and you are trying to push me away so hard.”

Feeling her phone buzzing, she reached for it to take a quick look to see that Daryl had texted her something.

Be fierce today. You’ve got this.

It made her smile that he sent her that. Especially after everything she had gone through.

“For good reasons,” she pushed her seat forward toward the computer tapping at Negan’s hip in attempts to get him to move. “Maggie is going to kill me if her e-mails aren’t checked and finished by the time that she gets here.”

“I want you to take a day off,” Negan announced, curling his fingers firmly around her wrist to give it a firm squeeze. “My mom has Jordyn out for a grandma fun day. So come on. Be a rebel and spend the day with me. Like we used to. We’ll walk around. Maybe go to the Bryant Park Christmas Village. Go to lunch. Find things to do. And then you can come over tonight. Jordyn will be happy to have you there. We’ll play video games, I’ll make you a really nice dinner. We can watch Christmas movies together. Have hot chocolate by the fire. If you’re lucky, I’ll even put those tiny marshmallows in yours.”

“While that sounds amazing Negan, I can’t do that anymore,” she noticed that he wasn’t letting go of her wrist. Setting down her latte, her free hand covered his. A frown tugged at his features with her turning him down. “I have a job. One where it doesn’t allow me to be able to do something like that. I would love to take off with you and spend all day with you. But I’m not that girl that can just drop everything for you anymore. I have bills to pay. Or I lose everything.”

“I think Maggie will understand. She wouldn’t want you being this upset,” Negan thought aloud, but that made Y/N smile and shake her head. “Maggie is your friend and if she knew how you were feeling, I’m sure that she would support what I’m trying to suggest here. No one would want you to be suffering like this.”

“I don’t think that’s at all what Maggie would think,” she stressed to Negan, hooking her fingers with his. Getting him to lower his hand, she nodded toward the computer again. Hinting to him that this was a must that she had to get done.

Sliding over, it was only a moment before the sound of the door being pushed open was heard. Both of them looked to the door to see what appeared to be an overwhelmed Maggie carrying multiple things in her arms. Big glasses covered her eyes and she looked infuriated.

“Shit,” Y/N breathed under her breath. She’d gotten nothing done. The only thing she had done was make sure to bring the presentation that was needed today. Today, she was going to be in for it. And by the time that Maggie finally realized that Negan was sitting there with Y/N? Maggie looked like she could absolutely die right there on the spot.

“Morning,” Negan waved, his eyes following Maggie’s movements when she dropped everything down on the couch. Tugging her sunglasses from her face, Maggie looked between Y/N and Negan. Maggie looked like she could have fainted right then and there. Right now? Y/N was certain that Maggie thought she was telling Negan all about what she had learned the night before.

“Morning,” Maggie slurred her words, letting them linger when she stepped closer to the desk. Lowering down had Negan meeting her halfway in a quick kiss. With Negan kissing her back, Maggie could tell that they were still okay and it seemed like a large amount of weight was lifted from her shoulders. “What are you doing here honey?”

“Well,” Negan paused to consider what he was going to say. Looking back to Y/N, his Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and he shrugged. “Truthfully? Y/N and I were having a conversation last night. Then she remembered something she had to do and hopped out of my car. So I came here this morning to check in on her. And I was hoping to finish that conversation.”

“What about?” Maggie acted like she wasn’t all that interested, her green eyes hooking with Y/N’s. Shaking her head, Y/N let her know the best way that she could that she didn’t tell Negan about what she walked in on last night with Maggie and Guy. Forcing herself to look away from Y/N, Maggie didn’t want it to be clear that they were communicating without really saying anything.

“It’s kind of between the two of us,” Negan alerted Maggie getting an offended breath from Maggie. Hearing that surprised Y/N. Having Negan tell Maggie that she wasn’t allowed to know what they talked about? Well that was shocking. “It was just a conversation between two friends. I’m sorry Mags, but sometimes I think things should stay personal between two people. If she’s comfortable enough to talk to you about things in the future, then that’s on her. But right now? It’s between us.”

“Now I’m suddenly curious,” Maggie looked to Y/N who dramatically shrugged at Negan’s response. Thankfully Negan didn’t mouth vomit everything. Because that would have been bad for her in the end anyways. “Neither one of you keep things from me.”

Both Negan and Y/N laughed immediately at that comment eliciting a frustrated grunt from Maggie, “I guess I trusted you both more than I thought?”

“There are some things you just don’t need to know,” Y/N stressed to Maggie since Maggie had pretty much made her life miserable over the last four plus years. Keeping her personal life from Maggie just seemed like a good idea. While she wished it wasn’t the case, if Maggie knew about some things in her life she was certain that Maggie would ruin them. Just like she did with Negan and this job. “Do you tell me everything?”

“For the most part…” Maggie started, but the glare that Y/N gave her was obviously directed at what they had talked about the night before. “No, I guess you’re right. There are some things that need to be kept to ourselves.”

“Exactly,” Negan snapped his fingers, a big cheesy smile tugging at his handsome features. “I was actually hoping that you would give Y/N a break today and let her take today off so we could go on an adventure.”

“We?” Maggie repeated what she heard nervously, color flooding into her cheeks. “And by we…you mean?”

“Oh, just the two of us,” Negan wiggled his finger between him and Y/N. Hearing that had Maggie in a panic. And it was plastered all over her face. There was a sense of pride from that for Y/N. “I started to think about it, I considered Y/N to be my best friend before I started dating you. Then we got together and I just started to spend all my extra time with you. That’s not really fair to my friend, y’know? I went from really spending every extra moment I had with her, to spending it all with you. I thought it would be cool to do something with her today. Like old times. Y/N does so much for me helping out with Jordyn. I thought it would be nice to give her a day out.”

“I see,” Maggie’s eyes locked with Y/N and, in that moment, Y/N knew that Maggie was furious with the idea that Negan had come up with. “While that sounds nice, and I’m sure she’d love to do that with you, she actually is going to be very busy today.”

“I’m sure you could survive one day without her,” Negan stood up from the desk, walking around it. Locking eyes with Maggie, he was almost pleading with her to let Y/N go with him. “I’m sure you could handle your messages, e-mails and what not for the rest of the day.”

“You didn’t finish the e-mails and messages?” Maggie looked beyond Negan with Y/N lowering her head down to her hand to bury it there. Oh, today was going to be fun. Snapping his fingers again, Negan got Maggie’s attention and had her huffing out. “It’s not just that Negan. You see…”

“Have you told her yet?” a booming voice caused all of them to jump with the door being thrown open. Getting everyone’s attention, Guy took his sunglasses off hooking them to his silky white shirt. Once again, Guy was dressed very fashionably. To add to the white shirt was a pair of white slacks and white loafers. His dark hair was groomed nicely, a small amount of stubble over his face and his brown eyes were locked with Y/N’s. “Why does it look like nothing has been done yet?”

“I haven’t had the time to tell her,” Maggie stammered, searching for the right words. Nervousness flooded Y/N’s veins when Guy moved around the desk toward her. “I was thinking, I’m not really sure that it’s the best idea Guy because…”

“Blasphemy. Anyone who walks through a snowstorm in the middle of the night to assure that your work is here bright and early deserves a chance to experience what it’s like to be in the middle of everything,” Guy hushed Maggie, reaching for Y/N to get her to stand up and step before him. “What you’re wearing is cute, but it’s not going to work for today. I’ve already called a place down the street. They work with me, get me some things last minute. I assumed your size and requested a dress from them. I’m going to need you to go grab it, put it on and rush back here. They are going to have you try it on there in case it doesn’t fit. They’ll have you pick out some shoes to go with it. Help you through the process. And if you want to, grab some jewelry that will go nice with it. I’ll pay for everything.”

“I uh…I’m sorry. But what?” Y/N felt flustered with how quickly Guy was talking along with the way that he spun her around to get a look at her. Warmth was flooding into her face wondering what the hell was going on. “Why?”

“I’m going to have you join us in the meeting today. I just want to see you wearing something more…Vixen?” Guy stressed, waving his hand about while lowering his other hand that was still holding onto hers. “Maggie and I had a conversation about you. Being here for as long as you have been, I’d like to see what you are capable of.”

“I’m just a personal assistant,” she was flustered, but caught the expression that Negan was giving her when she looked beyond Guy’s shoulder. Throwing his thumbs up in the air, Negan gave a dramatic nod. Pointing to his mouth, he gave her a cheesy smile as if to suggest she should smile. Noticing the way that Y/N was looking over his shoulder, Guy looked back and it had Negan swiftly covering his mouth. It looked ridiculous with Negan forcing himself to look somewhere else while using his free hand to stroke down over his jaw. Smirking, Guy had obviously caught onto the fact that Negan was gesturing her to do something but decided not to say anything.

“Are you?” Guy stammered, his dark eyes narrowing when he gave his attention back to Y/N. And really? She didn’t know how to answer that. Obviously she did more than be Maggie’s personal assistant, but her job title was pretty much that alone. How would Guy know now of all times that she did more for Maggie than she should have. Out of frustration, it looked like Maggie tried to focus elsewhere when she moved around the desk to sit down at her computer. “Give me your cell phone.”

“Why?” she wasn’t sure what was happening, but when she dug into her pocket, Guy was quick to snatch it from her. Attempting to open it, Guy huffed and held it out for her so that she could open it for him. Going into her contacts, Guy was quick to put his number in that section. After, he sent himself a text so that way he would have her phone number too. During this whole thing, he kept motioning her to weight, holding up his index finger every so often since she was visibly uncomfortable with him holding her phone. Handing back her cell phone, Guy reached for his and sent her a text that appeared to be an address. “Something tells me that you will surprise me. So head down the street and get the dress I picked out for you. You know what time the meeting is.”

Yelping, she felt Guy pushing her toward the door followed by him smacking firmly at her ass. That wasn’t something she would really let anyone else get away with. But no one else said something, so she just assumed that she would keep her mouth shut in this moment. Grabbing her latte, she moved for her jacket with Guy watching her closely. Waving his hands to motion her to move faster, Guy sat on the corner of Maggie’s desk. By the expression on Maggie’s face? She was furious.

“I’m going to walk with her,” Negan explained moving around Guy to grab his coffee before moving to the couch to pick up his jacket that he had taken off when he got here. Working it up his arms, Negan pointed toward Y/N who was already headed out the door. It looked like Maggie was about to complain, but with Guy there she simply nodded her head and went back to work. Fuck, she was already nervous enough, the last thing Y/N needed right now was having Negan following her. “Hey! Fucking wait for me.”

“Where can I go? You know the elevator takes forever and it’s not like I’ll be able to sneak away before you get to me,” she pointed toward the closed elevator doors, getting a frustrated glance from Negan as he approached. Hitting the down button a few more times, she knew it would do nothing, but there was the hope that she could get this all over with quickly. “I don’t know why you want to follow me. It’s not like I’m going to be able to open up to you about things on our walk over. I’m nervous enough as it is.”

“You shouldn’t be nervous, this is a good thing,” Negan hushed her, adjusting his jacket so that he had it on properly when he stepped in beside her. “You wanted more with this company and it looks like Guy wants to allow you have the opportunity for that.”

“But I’m wondering why,” she frowned, knowing that she couldn’t open up to Negan about what she knew. There were a few reasons that she figured Guy was doing this. One, he wanted her to keep her mouth shut about what she saw with him and Maggie. Two, he wanted to have sex with her because he really seemed to be stressing that idea last night in Maggie’s apartment. Or three, he was going to test her and if she didn’t prove herself to him, he’d fire her. So either way, none of the options were great. Especially since she knew that he wasn’t doing this all of a sudden because he recognized her talents. Where Negan saw this as something good, she saw it as something complicated and worrisome. Being on Guy Vixen’s radar after last night didn’t seem like the best thing in the world.

“Does it matter?” Negan really didn’t understand why she was acting upset about this whole thing. “We were just talking about things last night. How you wanted more. How you didn’t want to be just a personal assistant anymore. This is a good thing. Maybe Maggie and Guy talked about you and how talented you were.”

“I don’t think they talked about me and my talents last night,” she hushed Negan, holding her hand up because she knew what they were doing last night. Talking about her work was not one of those things.

“Why aren’t you happier about this?” Negan pushed, giving her arm a supportive squeeze. “You should be happy here. This is what you wanted. To feel seen. And now you’re being seen. Which is a good thing.”

“I’m not sure I’m happy with the way that I’m getting it,” she muttered, looking back over her shoulder to see through the glass panel walls that Guy and Maggie seemed to be bickering. Without meaning to, Y/N caught Guy’s attention when he realized that she was staring. Flashing her a smile and winking at her, Guy held up his hand to wave. It had a breath catching in her throat when she realized he was being flirty with her. “Truthfully? I think he wants to have sex with me.”

“He wants to…” Negan paused, looking back over his shoulder at the office just in time to see Guy waving at Y/N. Returning the gesture, Y/N waved and then turned on her heel to face the elevator again. Catching himself staring at Guy, Negan felt his face growing hot. “Isn’t he gay?”

“Apparently he’s pansexual,” she repeated what she had heard the night before from Maggie, clearing her throat uneasily. At least she wasn’t the only person to assume that Guy was gay. “That’s why I’m not so sure I deserve this or want this.”

Negan was still staring at Guy by the time the elevator opened. Realizing that it was near closing, Negan stumbled in and cussed to himself, “I doubt that’s the case. You heard him. He was impressed with you walking through a snowstorm to make sure that the work was done. Which…” Negan paused, his thick eyebrows furrowing. “How did he know that you did that?”

Well shit. There he was using his brain in that moment, “Oh,” she paused. Not she needed to think of something good that was honest without lying. Because Negan could always pick up on her lying for the most part. “When I got to Maggie’s apartment last night, she was there. I think Guy had walked her up to her apartment and they were still talking about…things.”

“So Maggie was home?” Negan confirmed leaving her wishing this elevator was a whole lot faster than it was. Everything inside of her was tense and it was so fucking hard even looking at Negan. “I tried calling her last night and she didn’t answer.”

“She was probably angry. The two of us were bickering,” she was quick to respond, but that also wasn’t a lie. Swaying too far from the truth with Negan would be too hard so she was going to be as honest as she could while leaving some details out. “You called her when she was likely distracted and pissed off. You know how I was last night Negan. I was drunk and not in the best of moods. No one would know that better than you.”

“Bickering? The two of you were fighting?” Negan gathered, his head tipping to the side with his right eyebrow arching in curiosity. “In front of Guy?”

“Yeah, kind of. I guess. He wasn’t really in the room we were in when we were having a heated discussion,” she thought back on last night knowing that Guy was mostly in Maggie’s bedroom when they were fighting it out with one another. After all these years being close to Negan, it was hard not just coming out and telling him the truth. In her opinion? He deserved to know everything. But with the threats she was given by Maggie, she knew that it wasn’t her place to tell him. “It was a complicated situation. I stormed out after our fight and maybe the two of them talked about me? Which makes this even worse for me. I don’t know if they talked about me in a good or bad way.”

“Lemme ask you this,” Negan began, stepping in closer to her in the elevator. Sweeping his finger in underneath her chin, he urged her to look up into his hazel eyes. Giving a weak smile, he shrugged his shoulders. “Do you really care how you ended up getting this chance? Maybe now is just your time. You rightfully deserve a moment to shine and experience things. Who cares if Maggie likes it or not. Or how you even got it.”

“Careful. That’s your girlfriend you’re talking about,” she warned, lifting her hand up to curl her fingers around his wrist. Getting him to lower his hand from her face, she felt her chest aching. The last thing he would really want to do is shit talk Maggie and she knew that. Shaking her head, she could feel a lump that was growing at the base of her throat. The sound of the elevator doors opening quieted them. The elevator stopped more times than she would have liked it to. Especially when she had a specific timeline that she had to get through with Guy. But? The one thing it did have was that Negan was incredibly close to her, pressing in near her with the amount of people that were surrounding them. Closing her eyes tightly, the scent of Negan’s cologne surrounded her and it sent chills throughout her body. It was intoxicating. There was something about the way that he smelled that drove her crazy with desire. Forcing herself to act normal, she spoke up in a whisper. “With the two of us? I’ll see you on Saturday. And we can talk then when we are with Jordyn.”

“Saturday is too far away for me,” Negan refused, biting down on his bottom lip. Pressing in closer to her, the warmth of his breath hovered over her ear and it sent chills down her spine. “And really? I want alone time with you. There is only so much we can talk about around Jordyn.”

“Saturday is close enough,” she countered, her heartbeat skipping hearing that he wanted alone time with her. In the past? She would have ate that shit up. Now? Not so much. “Negan, we spent four years with us having zero alone time together. We’ll handle that.”

Reminding him of how their relationship had been over the last few years seemed to infuriate Negan. Her last comment had him rolling his eyes, but it was honest. So she didn’t know why he got so upset about it, “If you want to talk? The two of us will figure something out before Christmas.”

“Yeah, see. That doesn’t work. I told myself the same thing four years ago when the two of us weren’t spending time together. We’ll make time. We’ll find time,” Negan listed off the things that he knew he would say over the last four years, but they never did. People were now starting to listen in on their conversation and it was annoying that they were. “I want to make time for you. We need to make time for each other.”

Thankfully, before she could respond, the doors were opening and people were leaving the elevator. Quickly making her move, she tried to get away from this conversation, but Negan was just as fast in following her, “Why?”

“Why not?” Negan stammered, the lines in his forehead growing. “You’re important to me. That’s why.”

“Thank you?” she stopped, not sure exactly what to say now. There was too much that was going on between them. Things that he didn’t even know and this was starting to get to be too stressful for her. Reaching for her phone, she copied the address and loaded the directions to the place into her phone. Right now, Negan seemed pretty desperate for her attention and she shrugged. “Okay. Why don’t you walk with me to the store? That’s the most free time I’m able to give you right now. It’s only a few blocks away.”

“Yeah. I’d like that,” Negan stammered, moving closer beside her when she started heading for the door. “I would prefer more than just this, but I’ll take what I can get right now.”

There was a silence between them. He’d never been this desperate for her attention, “So…when is your meeting?”

“In two hours,” she educated him, not sure on the exact time. “I’m still trying to determine what he even wants me there for.”

Wincing out, the windchill that surrounded them when they stepped outside the building was extreme. It was cold causing her to pull her jacket in closer to her body, but even that wasn’t doing much for her. Attempting to warm up in the best way that she could, she took a sip of the latte that Negan had gotten for her.

“Thanks again for the drink,” she did want to show him that she appreciated the gesture. Hell, all she wanted from Negan was his attention for four years. Right now? He was giving it to her and proving that he still knew her enough to get her the drink that she actually liked. “It was a very nice gesture.”

“Of course. I’m sorry I haven’t done it more often. I should have gotten you shit when I brought things for Maggie,” Negan acknowledged, bobbing his head about. “You know what it’s like. You get with someone and your brain gets unilaterally focused on that person. Making you a fucking idiot.”

Just nodding, she didn’t want to comment on that one. She’d been a fucking moron for over eight years at this point with how in love she had been with Negan. So she understood that statement more than he would ever know.

“I uh…” Negan began, his words coming out unsure. Finishing off his drink, Negan was quick to throw it away before stepping back beside her. “I do kind of want to talk to you about something we talked about last night.”

“I was drunk Negan. We don’t need to talk about last night,” she stressed to him, hating that it happened to begin with. More than anything she wanted to pretend that last night didn’t happen. “I made a fool of myself in front of you and I’m very embarrassed about it. So I’m sorry for that happening.”

“You don’t have to apologize to me. At all,” Negan refused to accept her apology, his face scrunching up. “I feel like I should have been aware of these things. You meant so much to me for so long and I just…I had to have someone smack me so to fucking speak to realize what I wasn’t doing right as a friend. I needed you to wake my ass up.”

Silence followed. So much could have been said, but she didn’t know how to respond. They were almost to the store, but Negan held his hand out to stop her from continuing. Turning to face her, Negan grasped at her shoulders and gave her an empathetic look.

“I don’t think you are stupid, pathetic or undesirable,” Negan blurt out in response to some of the things she said last night. And it made her want to die on the inside that he was bringing this back up. Dropping her head down, her heart kickstarted in her chest when he brought up the one thing that she wished he would have forgotten.

“I can’t do this right now,” she pulled away from him, her face growing hotter with embarrassment. The store wasn’t too much further away. Hopefully when they got there she would be able to get away from Negan and he would just take the hint.

“You need to hear it,” Negan grunted from behind her trying to catch up with her noticing that she was desperate to escape him. “Please. I don’t think you are any of those things. I think you’re the most amazing woman that I know.”

“Oh, come on Negan,” she abruptly stopped walking, turning to face him with an angered expression. “Stop with the lies. You don’t have to keep lying to me in order to make me feel better about things. Because lying doesn’t help. I’ve had enough of that.”

“I’m not lying to you,” Negan defended himself, his voice growing raspier with him trying to get her to listen to him. “I do think you are the most amazing woman I know. You took a broken person and you made them open their eyes to what was important. Showed me that life was worth living. And what you’ve done for Jordyn…? No one would do that shit. I don’t know how you could assume I would think any of those things about you.”

Giving her a rather pathetic expression with his big, hazel eyes had her frowning, “Negan, you laughed at the idea of me asking you why you never made a move on me. I think that was more than enough proof of how you made me feel last night. I felt stupid. And undesirable. And pathetic. So, there’s that.”

“But it wasn’t…” Negan dropped his head back with a groan when she left him in front of the store by walking away. Following her into the store, Negan stood back to allow her to speak to someone about Guy sending her over.  Once Guy Vixen’s name was dropped, the employees were eager to work with her dragging her throughout the store, asking her questions about what she liked and her clothing sizes. “Y/N?”

“Negan,” she looked over her shoulder to see that he was still following her. Leaving him on the street she felt like was a sufficient enough end to their discussion. “This is not a good time.”

“I realize that, but…” Negan paused when the employee pulled out the dress that Guy had gotten for her. They had Y/N look it over before handing it over to her explaining that when she got it on, they would be able to help her with anything that didn’t look right. Heading over toward the area they had people try on the clothes, Negan felt his throat tensing up when they were alone. Y/N was gazing upon herself in one of the mirrors, holding the dress up to her body attempting to determine if she would look good in it or not. “Did you want me to make a move on you in the past?”

All the color drained from Y/N’s face and he could see it with her reflection in the mirror. Gazing over her shoulder, there was a sense of misery in her eyes and it had him shrugging his shoulders, “Did you?”

Instead of saying anything, she turned on her heel and let out an extended breath. Holding the dress in her arms, her lips parted, but she stopped herself several times from saying anything to him at all, “I think it’s too late to be asking questions like that. Don’t you?”

That shocked him. It wasn’t the answer that he was expecting from her. And she simply just stood there, shaking her head when she thought of what to say next, “If you would have wanted to make a move, you would have.”

“Not necessarily,” Negan interrupted her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. There was that annoyed smirk again where she definitely thought he was lying just to blow smoke in order to make her feel better. But he held his hand up trying to make it known that he was being honest. “Y/N, you were my student. All four of those years. You heard my view on the whole professor and student thing when we were talking about what Shane was doing. Having a relationship with your student was an abuse of power and…”

“Right, I was just your student,” she hummed, her eyes narrowing with Negan standing before her speechless. Now she felt the tension and the anger coming back. The only problem? She couldn’t use the alcohol as an excuse with the snark she was undoubtedly about to give him. “Was it normal for a student and their professor to flirt like we did? Or how about me taking care of your daughter? What about us laying in your bed for hours talking to each other? I think we were way past a student and professor relationship.”

“So you did want me to make a move on you?” Negan pushed, his jaw flexing with an emotion she couldn’t quite read. Looking around, Negan noticed that the store was empty except for a few stray employees that weren’t paying attention. “Why didn’t you say anything to me? I kept flirting with you. And you said nothing. I genuinely thought you just wanted to be friends.”

“Oh, come on Negan. Please don’t blame me for this. Every woman wants to be romanced by the man that they are interested in. But they don’t want to scream it from the rooftops that they want you to like them,” she chuckled having Negan’s long eyelashes fluttering. “I flirted back with you. And there were times where I felt like you were going to kiss me, but then it always just felt like a tease. You didn’t want it and I understand that.”

“I was your professor,” he reminded her with a bit of color flooding into his face.

“Negan,” she held her hand up knowing that this discussion was a waste of time. Pointing toward the fitting room, she could barely even look him in the eyes right now. “I’m going to get changed. Please just leave.”

“Y/N…” Negan breathed out her name. He didn’t know what to say. And she didn’t want to hear it really.

Turning on her heel, she went into the changing room and left Negan out there. It wasn’t the time or place for this. It was too much. Getting emotional right now wasn’t in the playing cards. It couldn’t happen. Not with the first chance that Guy was actually giving her.

Setting her things down, she pulled her jacket off and tossed it to the corner of the room. Getting her shirt up over the lengths of her body, she tossed the material aside toward the rest of her things. Gasping out, she heard the sound of the door behind her being pushed opened. Looking back over her shoulder, she saw that it was Negan that was moving into her fitting room with her.

“Negan!” she felt her face getting hot, reaching for the shirt that she had tossed in attempts to cover herself up with it. Then again, she didn’t know why she was bothering. It wasn’t helping all that much. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I’m not leaving until we talk about things,” Negan whispered, closing the door behind him. Leaning back against it, his hazel eyes locked on hers with her covering her chest. A smirk tugged at his handsome features and he tipped his head to the side. “You’ve seen me naked Y/N.”

“Not by choice,” she half laughed with Negan folding his arms in front of his chest. Thankfully this changing room was big enough for them to be separated, but still. If someone noticed him coming into the room she wasn’t sure how the store would handle it. “I saw you naked because you were fucking the person that was living in the same apartment as me. And she liked to flaunt off your big dick in my face just to rub it in that you were hers.”

“You think it’s big?” Negan grunted, a wicked smirk tugging at his features. God, of course that was the only thing he heard in her statement.

“You’re such a man,” she rolled her eyes, sighing loudly before she tossed the material of her shirt aside. At this point, she didn’t even care that he saw her in her bra. “You already know the answer to that question. You just want to hear me say it’s big so you can get arrogant about things.”

“I didn’t realize you were looking,” Negan stressed, bobbing his head back and forth. “Does that mean you liked what you saw?”

“You were walking naked around the apartment all the time,” she was flustered with him, reminding him of what it was like when she lived with Maggie in their apartment together. “Kind of hard to miss. And don’t even start with that.”

“Fine, you don’t want to talk about that. We don’t have to. But, I still don’t think it’s fair that you get to see me naked and it’s no big deal. Whereas I just want to talk to you while you change and suddenly you have so many issues,” Negan argued, throwing his hand about seeing something change in her eyes. Nodding, she started to work open her pants after kicking out of her shoes. “I want to know why you didn’t talk to me about things back then.”

“Would you have cared?” she pushed down the material of her pants causing Negan to let out a tense breath. Folding her clothes up, she closed the distance between the two of them and shrugged. Standing before Negan in her bra and panties was not exactly something she had on her bingo card for today. “Because I don’t think you would have given a fuck. I was right there for the taking and you didn’t do a fucking thing.”

“I just…” Negan swallowed down hard, dropping his head to look between the two of them. Gazing at her breasts, Negan’s breathing grew broken and she laughed. Forcing himself to look up, Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced. Licking at his lips, Negan felt the warmth of her body close to his. “What?”

“I’m just starting to realize that my breasts are more impressive than I thought,” she explained considering the fact that Guy turned into an absolute mess last night over them. And both Negan along with Shane said something. “Or maybe men are just predictable.”

“We are, but that’s not what this is about,” Negan stammered, his lips parting when she stepped slowly away from him. Since he knew she was about to get dressed, he didn’t know if it would be inappropriate or not to continue to be this way. “Do you want me to turn around?”

“Do you want to turn around? You’re the one that barged in here complaining about how it wasn’t fair that I’ve seen you naked,” she reminded him of what he had just said to her, having his dimples becoming more prominent with the smirk he was giving her. “I guess I’m just having a hard time believing that it took you eight years to realize how I felt about you.”

“I was married for two of them. A mess for one of them,” Negan reminded her with her nodding her head about dramatically.

“And dating my best friend for four of them,” she finished up for him, sucking in a sharp breath of air. “And the sad thing is that I would have done fucking anything for you. I pretty much have when you really think about it.”

“What are you doing?” Negan stammered, biting down on his bottom lip when she reached behind her for the hook in her bra. The material loosened and his long eyelashes fluttered with his eyes lowering down.

“I need the bra off in order to wear the dress Negan,” she claimed, still keeping the material loose at her arms. Even though it was undone, she was still managing to cover her breasts. “If you would like to leave, you can turn around right now and wait for me to be done.”

Standing his ground, Negan lifted his head. The vein at the side of his neck slightly bulged while staring out at her. Snickering, she shrugged her shoulders and let the material drop down. Allowing her breasts to be revealed to him had him inhaling loudly. The reaction was almost immediate with his lips parting.

“If you’re going to stay in here, I could probably use your help getting the dress on,” she explained to him pointing over toward the dress. Standing before him in just her panties was bold. Likely the wrong thing to do, but he was the one that wasn’t leaving and she was on a schedule here. After all the embarrassment she went through over the last day or so? Right now, she didn’t seem to have a care in the world that she was just about naked in front of Negan except for her panties.

“Yeah,” Negan simply said, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip again. Stepping before the mirror in the dressing room, she started to gaze upon the dress. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that Negan had taken his jacket off and put it on one of the hangers. Instead of staying where he was, Negan moved toward her. Each step was slow with her straightening up her posture. Going to look back, she stopped when Negan’s arm loosely hooked around her torso. Faintly his hand skimmed in over her lower abdomen having her let out a tremoring breath. “I’ve always thought you were beautiful Y/N.”

She wanted to say something smart. But nothing came out.

The tips of his fingers were rough when they made further contact with the area right below her navel. Now the warmth of him behind her grew closer. Closing her eyes tightly, she knew that she was trembling beneath Negan’s touch with him caressing up over her ribcage and across her abdomen. Forcing her eyes open, she saw Negan’s eyes locked on her reactions in the mirror. There was something in his hazel eyes that showed an awe for her. Negan’s lips were parted, his breathing loud in her ear. Easing his touch up higher, he dragged his palm flat across her abdomen right beneath her breasts.

Dropping his head forward, Negan nuzzled his nose against the side of her neck taking in the scent of her. With a moan, she felt his hand drag back across her chest with the roughness of his palm now caressing over her breasts.

Kissing at her jawline faintly, Negan growled against her flesh with his index finger circling one of her nipples, “You are so beautiful.”

“Negan,” her head dropped back against his shoulder as he dragged his palm across to the other breast to cup it tenderly in his hand. Whimpering, she didn’t know how to respond. Had she never waken up and this was still a dream? It felt all so real, but at the same time? After how long her feelings festered for Negan, this just felt like something her brain would have come up with to help make last night better.

Testing the flesh in his grasp, a growl fell from his lips with him pressing another kiss over her jawline. Pinching at her nipple, he followed it up with circling it teasing at her flesh with his rough fingertips. Quiet cries escaped from her parted lips. In a way, they were both still being quiet since they were in public. Pushing his hand down between the valley of her breasts, Negan lifted his eyes to watch her expressions.

Sliding his hand down the middle of her abdomen toward the top of her panties, Negan pushed his hand beneath the material hearing her whimpering out his name. It drew a fire throughout his body with her left hand reaching around the hook slightly around the back of his neck. Stroking her fingers through his hair, her body trembled when he palmed in over her mound.

Waiting for her to deny him, Negan buried his nose further against the side of her neck. Caressing over her most intimate area, Negan let out a raspy moan with her hips pressing back and her ass rubbing up against him. It was the most gifting thing she could have asked for from him. Only in her dreams had she heard him like this, and those were nothing in comparison.

“Fuck,” he rumbled, kissing at her neck. With her free hand, she reached around her. Flattening her palm out over the front of his pants, she caressed at his body through the material. Bouncing his hips forward into her touch, Negan’s index finger dragged a line over the length of her sex. On trembling legs, she purred and tried not to shake too much.

Working his pants open as best as she could, she dipped her hand beneath the material of Negan’s pants. Their breathing was uneven, with both of them shaking. The roughness from Negan’s short beard tickled at her skin and once she palmed over Negan’s warm flesh, she could feel his fingertips circling her clitoris. With her touch, Negan was rewarding her with tiny moans. The warmth of him felt incredible against her hand with him slightly bucking up toward her touch. Each passing second had Negan’s caress over her body growing harder and she was doing her best to stand steady on her feet.

“Fuck…” Negan’s voice was raspy with her fingers curling around his girthy length, working to jerk him off to the best of her ability in the position that they were in. Panting, Negan licked his lips and his eyes met hers again in the mirror. Dragging his bottom lip across her jawline, Negan hissed out along with her grasp tightening around his body.

“How’s it going in there?” the employee’s voice called out having Y/N pulling her hand from Negan’s pants causing a muted groan to fall from him. Reaching for Negan’s wrist, she stopped his touch with him still cuddling his head in against the side of her neck. “Do you need some help?”

“No, I’m fine,” she declared, fighting like hell to keep it together after the way they had been touching each other. Listening carefully, she made sure that the person was gone. Still locked in on the moment, Negan’s caress started back up. There was something that drew attention to the lust in his eyes. “Negan…fuck, Negan stop.”

Yanking his hand from her panties, she stumbled forward. Bracing her arms against the mirror, she dropped her head forward and tried to get her body to calm down. Licking her lips, she felt an ache inside of her. All of her desperately wanted to continue, but she knew it would lead to nothing good.

“We can’t do this,” she finally blurt out, looking over her shoulder at Negan. Both of their breathing was still uneven. The bulge at the center of Negan’s pants drew her attention and she immediately regretted that she stopped this, but knew it was for the best. “You don’t want this.”

“I just…” Negan lifted his hand to drag it down over the front of his face in a moment of confusion. Falling back into the corner of the room, Negan’s eyes grew wide with him cussing under his breath to himself. Starting to work back together his pants allowed her time to catch her breath. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she lied. It really wasn’t fine, but what could she tell him? Working on the dress, she had some issues, but was surprised that Negan was helping to get the dress over her body. Even though they both had realized what they had done, Negan’s fingers were slow with caressing at her bare shoulders and then over her back. Dragging the zipper up, Negan’s eyes locked with hers. There was a rose color to his cheeks. It looked like he wanted to say something, but nothing was coming out. “Thank you.”

Taking a step back to look at herself in the mirror, she realized that it was tight fitting in some areas, but she assumed those were the areas that Guy wanted her to be focused on.

“What just happened…” Negan began, dragging his thumb out across his bottom lip.

“It was nothing,” she interrupted him, not wanting him to overthink this whole thing. “I had been working you up since last night. It was a moment of heated tension, and it didn’t go anywhere. Don’t worry about it. You were feeling guilty about everything…”

“But I wasn’t,” Negan defended himself, placing his hand in over the center of his chest. A defeated sound followed with her phone going off. Grabbing it, she looked to see that it was Guy asking where she was. “I think we need to talk about us.”

“There is no us in the terms of us needing to talk about it,” she suggested, taking another look at the dress in the mirror. “Do I look okay? Because I have to rush to this meeting.”

Right now, she was breathless. It was going to be hard to think about anything other than this moment while she was in that meeting. Facing Maggie would be hard, but it was undoubtedly a moment she would have to get over. There was a reason they were stopped and they probably should have never done it to begin with.

“You look beautiful,” Negan assured her, reaching for his jacket as she gathered her things. Dropping his hands down at his sides, Negan licked his lips and let out a long exhale. “You wanted me to touch you like that, right?”

“Did you want to touch me like that?” she was quick to respond, pulling her jacket on after shoving her clothes in the bag that she had with her.

“I mean…” Negan lowered his head to look down to the very obvious bulge that was still in his jeans. There was a severe ache from the lack of his release and she was the one that stopped him. Not the other way around. “Obviously.”

“Why now and not four years ago?” she stammered with Negan attempting to think of an answer, but the sound of her phone going off was heard again. Rolling her eyes, she dropped her head back in defeat realizing this would go nowhere. “I have to leave Negan.”

Stepping forward, he huffed with her holding out her hand to keep a distance between the two of them, “I have a feeling that later you are going to regret this. Especially after you have time to think about this. So, I’m just going to leave Negan. I have to go.”

And with that, she was quick to leave the dressing room. Checking to make sure everything was okay with the store, she was eager to get back to the office. That meant she took whatever shoes they gave her, put on the jewelry they handed over and she barely even looked at herself. Moving faster than she would have liked to in the shoes that she had put on. In the snow, it made it hard to walk, but she was doing her best.

By the time she got up the elevator, Guy was sitting on the corner of someone’s desk motioning her to move quickly, “What took you so long?”

“I just wanted to make sure that I looked perfect,” she was out of breath both from what happened with Negan and rushing here.

“Open the jacket,” Guy demanded with her doing as he asked. Giving an approving nod, he waved her forward. “I want you to be relaxed. I want you to do what feels right and where we go from there…we’ll see.”

----

“You’re really quiet tonight,” a voice pulled Negan’s attention from what he was doing. Lifting his head, Negan’s eyes followed Maggie’s movements after she had just gotten out of his bathroom after a shower. She was stroking the towel she had through her hair and Negan shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

For the last hour or so Negan had been going through photos that he had on his phone. Y/N was right. Once he started thinking about the things that happened earlier, he started feeling guilty. He had been with Maggie for four years. Not once had he ever considered cheating on Maggie. After he had a tough relationship with Lucille during some of their hardships, Negan swore he would never cheat on someone again. Yet, he got pretty close to it and he was certain that Maggie would have considered it cheating.

“I’m not quiet,” Negan stammered, trying to keep things normal between them. “Just tired.”

“You’re a big mouth Negan,” Maggie pointed out, looking back over her shoulder at Negan. Tipping his head from side to side, Negan got more comfortable on the bed before looking to his phone again. “What has your head buried in that phone tonight?”

“I was just looking at some photos,” Negan explained letting out a long sigh. Truthfully? He was looking at photos he had taken during the years involving Y/N. “Around this time of the year, I get sentimental. Especially after losing Lucille near the holidays.”

“That’s sweet,” Maggie frowned, setting the towel she had been using to dry her hair off on his dresser. Tensing up, Negan’s hazel eyes focused on that towel. He hated when she did things like that, but she had gotten mad at him so many times in the past for correcting her that he was doing his best to hold it in. Making sure that the towel that was around her body was still hooked together firmly, Maggie lowered down on the bed to sit beside Negan. “So what was the conversation about with Y/N that you were desperate to talk to her?”

“I told you…” Negan exhaled loudly, setting his phone aside when Maggie’s fingers pushed at the bottom of his shirt. Getting it to the center of his chest, Maggie started palming across his lower abdomen eliciting a sigh from him. Sliding in closer, her fingers danced across his flesh until reaching his pajama pants. Pushing her hand beneath the material had Negan’s eyes slamming shut tightly when her fingers made contact with his manhood. “There are some things you need to keep to yourself.”

“I’m not allowed to be curious? My best friend and my boyfriend are deep in conversation and I’m not allowed to know what about?” Maggie bit down on her bottom lip, taking her time to tease at Negan’s flesh.

“You can be curious, but that doesn’t mean that I have to tell you,” Negan looked to the time to make sure that Jordyn would be asleep. It had been a few hours since she had gone to bed, so Negan assumed it would be okay for them to do something like this. Maggie’s grip grew with Negan’s comment causing him to groan out. “Why are you so desperate to know?”

“Well what am I supposed to think when the two of you keep secrets from me?” she wondered, adjusting her wet hair over her shoulder. Each caress over Negan’s body had him growing harder in her grasp which was a good sign for her.

“We’re good friends Maggie,” Negan stressed to her, his breathing growing louder with her caress becoming faster. Between broken breaths, Negan licked at his lips appreciating the touch. “I knew her before I knew you.  And we’re close…”

“Not that close,” Maggie countered, her brow line creasing. There was a silence that filled the air while she considered her next comment. “Maybe before you were dating me the two of you were close. Since then, she’s really only around for Jordyn.”

“And that’s my fault because I should have been a better friend,” Negan insisted, his lower abdomen sinking in with a sharp inhale of a breath. “I should have put equal amounts of time into both you and her.”

“Gee, thanks,” Maggie snorted working her hand harder over Negan’s throbbing erection. Hearing that didn’t make her happy because she liked being the center of Negan’s world beyond his daughter.

“You know what I mean,” Negan rolled his eyes, dropping his head back with a moan. Licking his lips, his eyes slammed shut when Maggie started to tug at the material of his pants to get them down in the front allowing her more room to touch him. “Maggie?”

“Mhmm?” her eyes were focused on what she was doing in pumping her hand over his length.

“What was it about me that you liked?” Negan wondered, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. It was something he had been considering lately. An amused rumble escaped her with her movements slowing down. “What drew you to me?”

“You were hot?” Maggie was blunt, a tiny laugh following. “Have you looked at yourself lately Negan? You were this tall, dark and handsome type. With a killer smile and those dimples. Who wouldn’t be interested in you?”

“That’s it?” Negan winced when her movements stopped all together. It had his hips bouncing up toward her grasp, but she didn’t continue.

“What else would it be?” she inquired, her eyebrow arching in a moment of confusion.

“I didn’t know if there was some ulterior motive,” Negan whined when Maggie pulled her hand away from his aching flesh.

“What kind of motive?” Maggie looked suspicious now that Negan was questioning why she hooked up with him in the first place. “I thought you were hot. So I let you know and we fucked. What more is there to say?”

“I…I don’t know,” Negan let his words linger. There were a lot of thoughts he had been having since the other night. Things he really shouldn’t have been thinking about, but he was. “What’s your favorite thing about me?”

“What’s with the deep conversation all of a sudden?” she laughed, curling her fingers back around his girthy length having his hips arch up toward her touch. “Usually we talk about our day and either fuck or go to sleep. Our relationship has never really been built on much more.”

“That’s all you think our relationship is?” Negan confirmed, sucking in a sharp breath of air and dropping his head back.

“What do you want from this Negan? Do you want me to keep jerking you off? Do you want me to have sex with you? Or…?” Maggie seemed frustrated, her green eyes narrowing. Pulling her hand from Negan’s member had it smacking up against his lower abdomen with him wincing. “You’re not acting like you.”

“How am I supposed to act?” Negan scoffed with his cock aching after getting it harder for the second time today with no release.

“I don’t know Negan, I’m in a towel stroking your dick and you’re looking for some kind of deep conversation from me,” she retorted, standing up from the bed and snatching the towel that she had left on the dresser. “Maybe you should be taking the towel off of me and fucking me.”

“So sex is the primary thing you want from me?” Negan doubled down on his question which had her laughing at him.

Tossing the towel in the hamper, she threw her hands up and nodded, “I mean having sex is what we do best. Right?”

“Is it?” Negan had a bit of attitude in the way he was responding to her. “If we’re going to be a couple for the rest of our lives, don’t you think we should have some kind of something fucking deeper between us? Where we can actually talk about the things that are on our mind.”

“Baby,” Maggie began, crawling onto the bed. Moving in over him, she lowered down to start pressing kisses at his lower abdomen. Then down over to his hip where the v-line was. “You’re not a deep person. You cuss. You joke. And we fuck. The only deep you like is being balls deep. Fucking is what you’re good at. Being someone who wants to connect on an emotional level is not you. We got together because you wanted to fuck me. Not because you wanted to connect on an emotional level. If that’s what you wanted, you would have hooked up with Y/N. Not me.”

“Hey,” Negan stopped her, his head tipping to the side. “Why would you say something like that?”

“Come on Negan,” she half laughed, hovering her mouth over Negan’s length. Her green eyes were locked on his, an amused expression over her features. “You had to know that Y/N was head over heels in love with you. You had four years of an opportunity to make your move on her. You didn’t want her, you wanted me. She was the one you could make an emotional connection with. I was the one that you could fuck senseless. You picked me.”

Hearing Maggie say that aloud had Negan pulling up into a seated position with his back leaning against the headboard, “Oh come on. Don’t pretend like you didn’t know. You think some girl is just going to start being mommy to your child because she’s good and kindhearted? You knew she was in love with you. And you made it very clear that you didn’t care.”

“I didn’t know how she felt about me back then,” Negan denied that he was the way that Maggie was insisting that he was. “The first two years I was married and then the next two…”

“What is this going to do?” she got on her knees, irritation flooding her veins. “You’re not about to convince me. She’s not here, so her feelings aren’t going to be hurt. I know for a fact that she was head over heels in love with you. I was her best friend after all. I heard it all the time how in love with you she was. How you were the most perfect man. How she connected with you better than anyone. How the two of you would talk for hours and hours. You weren’t looking for an emotional bond. You were looking for a sexual one. Because I know she let you know how desperate she was for you to like her. Considering every outfit. Doing everything just to impress you. The girl even considered going into film just because of you.”

“You knew how she felt and you started dating me?” Negan breathed out, a sudden surge of guilt flooding through is veins. Now he was understanding why Y/N was talking about things the way she was over the last few days. These were real feelings that even Maggie seemed to be confirming for him right now.

Rolling her eyes, Maggie started kissing up over Negan’s abdomen toward the center of his chest, “You knew how she felt and you started dating me. It’s pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it? You took advantage of her kindness because you weren’t attracted to her. I took advantage of you because you were hot and she was doing nothing to make her move on you. Or maybe she was and you just didn’t want to. Either way, we’re bad people Negan.”

Lifting his hips up, Negan started to pull his pants back over his body. Moving out from underneath Maggie had her releasing an annoyed rumble, “Please don’t act like you’re above this. You’re a lot of things, but stupid is not one of them. Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

“You sound proud of it,” Negan stressed to her and she threw her hand up in the air. “Hurting your best friend makes you happy?”

“She had her time to make her move on you. I saw you and I knew that I had to have you because you were hot. She had four years. Nothing. I had two weeks and I had you immediately,” Maggie reminded Negan getting to her knees on the bed before him. Tugging at the towel that she was wearing, she allowed it to drop down onto the bed. “You didn’t want a deep, emotional relationship with someone you bonded with. You wanted someone that you could fuck that made you feel good.”

Leaning back against the dresser, Negan huffed loudly while considering what she was saying, “Why don’t you just grab a condom and fuck me. Get this aggression out. I know you like to play the good guy with things, but we both know you’re a shitty person Negan. So just be you and stop pretending to be this person that we both know you’re not.”

Waiting, Maggie wiggled her finger at Negan with a wicked smirk tugging at her pretty features. Turning, she lowered down onto her hands and knees. Pressing her hands against the bed, she put her face down and her ass up to tease him.

“So do what you do best Negan. Shut up and fuck me,” she demanded hearing Negan’s breathing growing louder. With a wince, Maggie heard Negan move forward swiftly and he grabbed her hips firmly. Purring out, she felt Negan’s hand placing at the back of her neck to get her to press her face further into the bed. “That’s it…”

“No,” Negan growled releasing her and moving away from the bed. Groaning out, she sat up in the bed and pulled her towel back on when she stood from the bed. “I’m more than just a fuck. And I refuse to believe I’m some kind of prick that used a girl to take care of my daughter…”

“What did you do then Negan?” she watched him drop onto the chair at the corner of the room beside the light that was there. Digging into his pants that he had taken off earlier, Negan pulled out a cigarette and she huffed. “You made a girl fall in love with you and then you fucked her best friend. At least own up to it. Realize that’s who you are and you can’t change it. Being a single parent at the time was too hard for you, so you found the first sucker you could get. And with how much she loved you? It was easy.”

“You weren’t around, you don’t know,” Negan growled putting his cigarette between his lips. Cussing out, Negan couldn’t get the lighter to light his cigarette. Stealing it from him, Maggie managed to get his cigarette lit. With a glare, Negan inhaled sharply and winced when he pulled the cigarette away with a big exhale of smoke. “I could barely get out of bed. I was ready to fucking die. And she saved my life. If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t be here anymore. My daughter wouldn’t have either one of her parents.”

“Okay, so now that you know she was in love with you. What are you going to do? Leave me for her?” Maggie pushed, wondering if her comment was going to backfire on her. There seemed to be a lot of emotions that Negan was feeling right now and it wasn’t how she thought he would be responding to things. “After four years are you just going to dump me to be with her?”

“Obviously not,” Negan winced with Maggie crawling in over him. Dropping his head back, Negan didn’t fight Maggie when she started working his cock through the opening of his pajama pants. Closing his eyes, Negan groaned when Maggie lowered down in over him taking him into her. Hooking her fingers into his dark hair, Maggie forced him to look at her and he pulled his cigarette from his lips. “I wouldn’t throw away a four-year relationship over…”

“Nothing?” Maggie finished for him causing him to grunt. Taking her time to roll her hips in over Negan, she heard his breathing uneven and he still looked mad. “Now that we’re on that point, I do think that she may be too involved in our lives.”

Burying her head against the side of Negan’s neck, Maggie moaned out against his flesh, “She acts like she is Jordyn’s mother…and she’s not.”

Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan felt Maggie tugging at the hair at the back of his head while her movements grew stronger over him, “It’s time you let her get her hopes up and know that she’s not welcome in this family. She’s just our friend. Nothing more.”

“Stop,” Negan demanded, sucking in a sharp breath of air. Groaning out, Maggie started to firmly bounce her hips back against him having Negan tossing his cigarette in the ashtray. Grasping at her hips, Negan growled with her forcing his arms back against the chair. “I said stop, damn it.”

“You don’t want me to stop,” she asserted, her moans vibrating against Negan’s ear. Bouncing her hips back against his length had his winces flooding the area surrounding them. “You’re mine Negan. You know that.”

Nipping at Negan’s earlobe, Maggie forced his wrists further back against the chair with Negan’s breaths growing louder, “It’s my pussy you wanted to fuck. And it’s been that way for four years.”

Hooking her fingers around Negan’s wrists with her right hand, she lowered her left and grabbed a firm hold of Negan’s jaw. Forcing him to look at her, Maggie pressed her forehead to his with the wet sounds their bodies made filling the air, “You’re mine. And she’s just going to have to deal with it.”

“Fuck…” Negan winced, his heart hammering in his chest with the way she was moving over him. Even if he was fighting it, it was hard. After being denied an orgasm twice today, his body was desperate to have one. But mentally? He didn’t want this. Not after she just accused him of being a massive piece of shit that purposely hurt someone he cared about. “Get off me.”

“Let it happen Negan,” she purred against the side of his neck, riding him harder. By the sounds of his moans, she knew that he was close so she was working extra hard to get what she wanted.

With a roar, Negan managed to get his hands unhooked from her grasp. Forcing her hips from him just in time, the first line of Negan’s cum spread out across his lower abdomen. Groaning out, Negan dropped his head back with his breathing uneven as his cock twitched through the rest of his release.

“Being greedy tonight, fine,” Maggie got up from the chair and reached for her towel to put it back on. Tossing Negan the tissues had him hissing out.

“She’s the closest thing to a mother my daughter has,” Negan finally responded to what Maggie had said earlier, working to clean himself up. “I’m not going to take that away from Jordyn. One thing has been constant in her life other than me and that’s Y/N. She may not be Jordyn’s biological mother, but I will never separate the two of them.”

“Whatever then,” Maggie knew it was no use to keep bothering with the situation since Negan seemed to be so sensitive over it. “But you’re just dragging her along. I’m sure she’s really happy being the mother to your child without you going balls deep and pumping her full of your cum.”

“Mature Maggie,” Negan threw the tissues in the garbage, working himself back into his pants.

“Like you’re mature at all,” she countered as she got dressed in something to wear. Huffing out, she pressed back her hair and realized that Negan was having a hard time even looking at her. “You could have at least let me make myself come. It’s not really all that fair to let you orgasm, but I don’t get one.”

“Oh, so now you want to have unprotected sex with me?” Negan countered with an angered expression. “You were the one always so insistent that you didn’t want me to come in you because you didn’t want to get pregnant. You don’t want my babies Maggie. You said that yourself.”

“I’m on the pill Negan,” she reminded him getting a huff in response. “I’m just not ready for children yet. I want them, but I’d like to be more comfortable in my career by the time that we have them. And being married to you might be a thing to think about if you want children.”

“Oh, so now you’re comfortable with being married to me?” Negan responded, standing up from the chair that he was seated in. Resting his hands at his hips, Negan was visibly starting to get angrier. “Two years ago when I asked you to marry me, you told me no. You don’t even want to fucking move in with me.”

“I wasn’t ready then,” she stressed to him with Negan rolling his eyes and moving back to the bed to drop down onto it. “Now I might be.”

“You weren’t when I asked the first time, but now you might be,” Negan snickered, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “I think you should help Y/N get further ahead in your company. Being your personal assistant isn’t really a job that was made for her.”

“Wow, that was a quick change of subject. Talking about our relationship to going back to Y/N,” Maggie frowned, dropping down on the bed beside Negan. Yanking the blankets out beneath him had him huffing angrily. “I would never do that because she sucks at her job. She’s lucky that I gave her a job in the first place. Guy wouldn’t even see her originally.”

“She sucks at her job?” Negan repeated what Maggie had said, the muscles in his throat flexing with her blurting that out. “Something tells me that’s not true because I was there when Guy demanded her be in the meeting today. If someone was bad at their job, I don’t think they would be being asked to be part of that meeting.”

“Oh, he only wants to fuck her,” Maggie rolled her eyes, turning away from Negan and getting comfortable in the bed. That was the second time he heard that today. Y/N had thought the same thing earlier.

“Does that mean she did a bad job during the meeting today?” Negan inquired, waving his hand about in the air in attempts to get Maggie to tell him about things. Earlier he had texted Y/N, but she had never gotten back to him. And that did upset him. Especially after everything that happened between them.

“She’s your good friend. Why don’t you go call her and find out yourself?” Maggie snorted cuddling her head further into the pillow. Hearing the way Maggie was talking, Negan was starting to understand why Y/N was having the feelings that she was toward Maggie.

“She asked me to help her get a job in the film industry you know,” Negan blurt out having Maggie push up onto her hands to look over at Negan. There seemed to be a sense of panic flooding her features with Negan admitting that to her. “Told me that she was unhappy working for you.”

“And what did you tell her?” Maggie looked like she was going to get sick with Negan letting her in on the information that he likely should have kept to himself.

“I told her that I didn’t have contacts like I did before,” Negan explained with Maggie rolling her eyes and letting out a laugh.

“Well that’s bullshit,” she almost found amusement in Negan lying to Y/N about that. “They are constantly begging you to come back and work with them,” Maggie reminded Negan, pulling herself up into a seated position. “See, you don’t think she would be a good enough employee either.”

“I panicked. Especially after how much you bitch about her,” Negan was honest with Maggie throwing his hands up in the air. For years she would come home and complain to him about Y/N and how awful she was. For a while his mind actually started to believe it in terms of her career. “I told her that in order to make that happen, I would have to put myself on the line and…”

“Good boy,” Maggie outstretched her hand to pat Negan on the chest eliciting a defeated breath from him. “She’s where she belongs Negan. Don’t feel bad. You made the right decision. As soon as Guy fucks her, he’s not going to be interested anymore. And she’ll fall back into place.”

“You told me that she was a bad worker. You’ve been saying that for years,” Negan recalled all the things that Maggie had been telling him since they were together. “I know her better than that, but I just allowed myself to believe you because…”

“Oh shut up Negan,” she rolled her eyes lowering down onto the bed again to get comfortable. “You made your decision. If you didn’t believe me and you thought that she would be good you would have gotten her the job. Instead you told her no. Which good for you for standing up for yourself. It’s what she deserves. To be put in her place. Her egos way too big.”

“So Guy really does want to have sex with her?” Negan brought up what Maggie had said with Maggie snorting under her breath. “Y/N said the same thing. Said that today wasn’t something to be excited about because she just thought Guy wanted to have sex with her.”

“And he will,” Maggie slurred, dropping her head down further into the pillow. “Guy gets what he wants and if she wants to keep working at Vixen, she will do whatever he wants. And she’ll probably enjoy it. He’s a hot guy. It’ll be the biggest thing to happen to her. So…”

Huffing out, Negan dropped his head back again and looked up at the ceiling. Today had been a rough day and he had a headache. There were so many feelings and emotions he was going through and he didn’t even know where to begin in dealing with them.

----

Tags: @slutlanna976​ @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @jennydehavilland @pixelb4rbie @ibelongtonegan

@smallsadjellyfish @labyrinthofheartagrams @msjamesmarch @thebeautysurrounds @hotfornegan

@redmercysugar @caprithebunny @tuttifuckinfruitty @emoryhemsworth @a-girl-interupted

@akumune @stoneyggirl2 @xsarcasticwriterx @haleygreen23 @xhannahbananax03

@sanctuaryforthelost @burningredaffair @killaweiser @dead-of-niight @ayumi-wolf

@promiscuousbarnes @lanadelnegan @peachihellcat @dilfsandmartinis

[saturnsedan]

Does Judeau like Griffith?

Someone said they "didn't think Judeau really liked Griffith" on the piece I drew of them hanging out together. I replied in the comments but I realized I have a lot more to say about it ^^

When Guts first joins the Hawks, Judeau has nothing but good things to say about Griffith. He talks about how they were all charmed by Griffith and, because of his efforts, they can live somewhat normally despite being mercenaries. While he admits that he doesn't really have a grasp on who Griffith is as a person, he doesn't seem all too bothered by this.

About the only thing I could think that would bother Judeau at this point would be the way Griffith treats Casca. She was obviously uncomfortable and upset with his order for her to lay with Guts while he recovered. But Judeau doesn't say much outside of explaining the situation and quoting Griffith.

He doesn't offer his own opinion on the matter but we can infer, based off his feelings for Casca, that he wouldn't care for that kind of misogynistic sentiment. At the very least not when it's directed towards Casca considering she "gave up being a woman".

When Guts and Casca fell off that cliff, Judeau reported on the situation with Gaston. While he's concerned, he doesn't push for an immediate action like Gaston. In fact, it's Judeau that keeps Gaston from continuing to push the matter.

Because Judeau understands that, on the battlefield, the lives of two soldiers is not worth risking an army or defeat. As much as he cares about them, he knows that they are mercenaries and their bloody work comes first and foremost.

Of course, Griffith made the decision to search for them despite the nobles' disapproval because he cares deeply about the both of them. Either way, I don't think Judeau would have disliked Griffith for his decision on the matter. He understood how tricky Griffith's position was but, I'm sure that in allowing Judeau to lead the search party, he was grateful to him.

He goes on the say that he was jealous which means he wants to know that Griffith cares about him just as deeply. He wants to be invaluable to him, to be something he'd risk losing men over. You wouldn't want that from someone you dislike (at least, you shouldn't.)

Judeau, like all the Hawks, greatly admires Griffith. He left his life behind in the circus to join him because he believed Griffith was capable of obtaining his dream. He followed him because he wanted a chance to touch greatness. He's content in being a jack-of-all-trades instead of a master-of-one because he can assist Griffith better that way.

The only time I think he truly begins to question Griffith is when he suspects Guts of possibly having a hand in the royal assassinations. Because Guts would not do such things by his own volition, it's just not like him. Guts would need an order to take on such things. And Judeau understands that only Griffith would make such orders.

But of course, he quickly brushes this thought off. Either because he doesn't want to suspect his friends of such heinous crimes or because he knows that little good would come out of confirming his suspicions. The Hawks are in a great position by this point and very few would suspect them. And Guts is leaving anyway. If he did play a role in it all, the nobles would have a hard time proving it, much less finding him once he's gone.

He's not upset or even bothered when Griffith challenges Guts to a duel because he understands his reasoning. Upsetting as it may be to see either one of them hurt or killed by the other, he knows that that's simply their way of life as mercenaries. It's completely within Griffith's right to protect the things he owns even if it means potentially destroying said thing.

And even after a year of running around as wanted fugitives and likely living off very little, Judeau sticks with the Hawks and holds onto hope for their future. You could argue he's only staying for Casca - which is a big factor, don't get me wrong - but the Hawks are a family to him. And he, just like everyone else, has hope that they will rescue Griffith and things will fall back into place.

He wants to save Griffith despite the fact it was his arrest that led them to this time of hardship. Despite the fact it's wearing on him and tearing Casca apart. Because he cares about Griffith and wants to return him to their found family.

He may have come to question Griffith once more when he witnessed him attempt to choke Guts during his rescue. But, if anything, this would only confirm the suspicions he and the others already had - Griffith blames Guts for his downfall.

I don't believe Judeau would necessarily hold such an act against Griffith in the long run. At that point, Griffith had suffered over a year's worth of torture and he very likely not within his right mind. What man would be? A bit troubling, of course. But I'm sure Judeau thought that, with enough time, they could sort it all out and rebuild the trust between them.

But ultimately, I think what's most telling about how Judeau feels about Griffith is his plan for the future. He decides he will take on the responsibility of caring for Griffith. When Guts asks him if he has any obligation for such a task, Judeau tells him that he's still a Hawk.

You could argue he only wants to stay for Casca. But that can't be the root of it considering he literally tells Guts to take Casca with him. Yes, he wants her to go because seeing and tending to Griffith in the state he's in would surely break her heart over and over again.

But it's also the fact that Judeau genuinely cares about Griffith. More so than as a commander, but as a dear friend. He's willing to carry on with the hardship and commit himself to a life of crime to protect and take care of Griffith. He's willing to bare the burdens that such a thing might entail because he wants Griffith to heal and prosper. He wants Griffith to continue living and to do so in relative comfort.

You don't take on such a demanding task for someone you don't care about deeply. Not when you don't have any real obligation to do such, not when there are others that could take up that role.

TL;DR - Judeau cares about Griffith just as much as any of the Hawks. He understands Griffith is human and thus has flaws and he accepts them as a part of him. He wants to be important to him and help him achieve his dream. He is willing to sacrifice his own safety and comfort to ensure Griffith's own.

In conclusion, Judeau likes Griffith! :]

[sissylittlefeather]

If I Can Dream: Chapter 6

A/N: Christmas is about to kill me, y'all. Have a chapter of Jo for your Christmas Eve! Love you guys! (Another one might be coming very soon so stay tuned!)

Need to get caught up? Masterlist HERE.

Summary: It's 1975 and Jo Bellamy has been in love with Elvis for 20 years. She doesn't even care that they haven't met yet. All she needs is a chance and she's determined to get one.

But Elvis doesn't feel much like Elvis anymore. What happened to the man he used to be? He's pretty sure he's long gone.

Can a chance encounter with Jo change the ill-fated trajectory of his life?

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, creampie, smoking

Word count: ~2.3k

“And you're right.” He mumbles into her neck. “But I'm not just scared; I'm fuckin’ terrified.”

“I know. It's okay.” She turns and puts her arms around him, kissing his forehead gently.

******

Jo flops around in her bed for about 6 hours and then gets up for work. It's amazing how quickly she got used to having Elvis beside her as she sleeps. She puts on her black skirt and red sweater with boots and heads into the office.

For about 9 more hours, she bounces between staring at her word processing machine and the clock, anxious for the end of the day to come. She wonders if he's thinking about her, or if he's realized their tryst was fun, but unrealistic to continue. In some ways, it does seem a little absurd to meet someone and love them so fully and so completely in such a short amount of time. But she knows what she feels and she knows he has to feel something similar. He's everything she ever dreamed he would be and more. She just has to convince him not to let his fear get the best of him.

******

Elvis wanders around the house after Jo leaves looking for traces of her: her glass in the sink, her makeup on the pillowcase, a lipstick kiss she left on his mirror. When he looks at the lip print, he catches his reflection and doesn't cringe for once. There's a light in his eyes that hasn't been there for years. He knows why it's there.

Then he remembers that he sent her away, turns from the mirror, and goes to bed. He sits on the edge of it staring down at the pills in his hand. Does he need them? He hasn't in days. But that was because she had been there, a constant reminder that he had a reason to try to live without them. He carries them into the bathroom and looks at the other bottles, the ones that he takes to get through the day. There's no way he can stop taking all of them just cold turkey like this, but he can cut back. Or he could if she was there. He drops the handful of pills into the toilet and flushes it. Sleeping is nearly impossible, but when he closes his eyes and imagines her next to him, he's able to get a couple of hours.

He drags himself out of bed around 1pm the next day. The Colonel shows up to discuss the New Year's Eve show he's arranged in Michigan. Elvis half listens and hopes he doesn't agree to anything too drastic. On his way out, Colonel Parker corners Jerry.

“He's distracted. What's wrong?” The Colonel gives him a cold stare and Jerry swallows hard.

“He met a girl.”

“He meets girls every day.” Jerry shakes his head.

“No, you misunderstood. He met a girl.” The Colonel looks at him sharply.

“What kind of girl?”

“A good one. She's good for him.” Jerry squares his shoulders defiantly, ready to go to bat for Jo if he has to.

“Hmm. Should I be worried?” Jerry shakes his head, shaggy hair moving wildly.

“No. She might save him.” The Colonel nods and walks out the front door.

Elvis looks at his watch. 2:30pm. Only an hour and half until she comes home.

Home?

Home.

******

At 3:45pm, Jo is ready to crawl out of her skin. She wants to leave so badly to see Elvis. Weirdly, the receptionist comes to her and tells her she has a phone call. She puts out her cigarette and follows the older lady to the phone. Who on earth would call her at work?

“Tink?” His smooth baritone cuts straight to her soul.

“Elvis! Why are you calling me at work?” She's absolutely beaming, trying to keep her voice even.

“Missed ya. But also I wanted to tell you to…” He trails off and Jo can feel him losing his nerve.

“To what, babe?” She hears him sigh.

“To pack some clothes before you come over. I wanted to see if you might wanna stay… for a while…”

“I would love to.” He brightens instantly, so much so that she can practically hear it through the phone.

“Well okay then! I'll see you in a little bit. I love you, honey.” She smiles.

“I love you too, Elvis.” They hang up and the receptionist stares at her.

“Was that really Elvis Presley?” She asks flatly. Jo considers lying for a bit, for his sake, and then decides against it.

“Yeah. It was.”

“Mkay.” Jo nods and starts to walk away. She hears the receptionist whisper under her breath. “Lucky bitch.”

******

When Jo knocks on the door with her suitcase, Elvis actually answers it himself. He grabs her around the waist and kisses her like they've been apart for months.

“Wondered when you'd get here.” He presses his forehead to hers.

“Well, I had to go pack, didn't I?” She gestures to the suitcase and he picks it up to bring it inside.

They settle into dinner, both of them avoiding the inevitable conversation that they started last night. Finally, when there's no more food or ice cream or anything else to distract them, Elvis clears his throat and lights a cigar. They're settled in the TV room, but there's nothing playing on any of the screens.

“Is this a conversation I need to be smoking for?” Jo asks tentatively. He smiles a little and she reaches for his cigar, taking a drag and handing it back to him.

“Tink, I spent the whole day thinking about it.” She expects him to go on, but he doesn't. Her heart is in her throat.

“And what did you come up with?” He lets out a puff of smoke and looks at her.

“I can't stand being without you.” She smiles. “But I have no idea how we make this work.”

“What do you mean?” Now it's her turn to take the cigar.

“Well, I'm not going to change anything about my life. I really can't. And you have a whole life of your own. I can't ask you to uproot all of that just to be with me. What if we… don't… what if it ends? And then what?” She smokes for a bit in silence and then speaks softly.

“What if I die tomorrow?” He blinks and his eyes flash with something he's not ready to admit.

“What the hell are you talkin’ about, honey?”

“What if I'm driving to work and one of those big trucks hits my car and I die?”

“Don't even talk like that.” He takes the cigar back, gritting his teeth.

“What if it happens in three years? What if you die?” Elvis is visibly uncomfortable with the way this conversation is going.

“You better make your fuckin’ point, Tink.”

“We have no idea what might happen tomorrow. Or in three years. All we have is right now. You can't live your life thinking about all the ways it can go wrong. What kind of adventure would that be?”

“No kind.” She takes the cigar.

“Exactly. So now I'm gonna ask you this. How do you wanna live your life right now?” Elvis looks at the woman in front of him: the one who ran on stage and then threw paper airplanes over the wall to get to him and make sure he was okay, the one who made him leave the house for the first time in too long, the one who convinced him to jump into a freezing pool and then made love to him even when he thought he couldn't, the one who brought him back to life and shows him every second that it's worth living.

“With you.” He reaches out and cups her cheek and she smiles and leans into his hand like a cat. She takes another quick drag and then kisses his palm.

“Then why do we need this big plan? Let's just live and be together until we can't anymore. Isn't that better?” He takes the cigar and puts it out in the ashtray. Jo isn't sure whether she should cry or not, so she just sits and watches him.

“You never cease to amaze me, honey.” He pulls her into his lap straddling his thighs and kisses her lips gently. Then he whispers. “Let's be together until we can't anymore.”

“Yes…” She giggles and nods. He kisses her again with more urgency this time and on the third kiss, both of their mouths are open as their tongues dance wildly against each other. She rolls forward, pushing her skirt up her thighs and presses herself against him. He moans softly into the kiss and grabs her ass with both hands, pulling her in as close as she can get. Reluctantly, she breaks the kiss. “Should we go upstairs?”

“Why?” He kisses her neck and drags his tongue up to her ear– a move he hasn't tried in years. She groans as he nibbles on her earlobe.

“Well, I'd like to do more than just kiss you-”

“We're on a perfectly good couch.”

“Elvis.”

“Tink.” He lifts her up and flips her over so that he's on top of her. “I had this couch made deep like this for a reason.”

“I'll try not to think about how many women you've had on this couch..” She giggles as he kisses down her neck to her collarbone.

“Smart girl. But I have to say, you're my favorite.” He lifts her sweater over her head and off, tossing it across the room. His lips drift down her chest to the place where her bra meets her skin. He gently pulls the cup down and slips his tongue around her nipple. Her back arches as he pulls it into his mouth and then releases it, moving over to her other nipple. “I want this off, honey.”

She nods, sitting up a little to unfasten her bra and take it off. He grunts when he sees her breasts bounce free, leaning down to kiss and nibble her soft skin.

“I bet you say that to all of us.” She lets out a small half-laugh. He stops and pulls back, looking down at her seriously.

“No, I mean it, Tink. I don't think I want any more. Just you.” She holds her hand up to the side of his face and traces the line of his brow down to his jaw and up to his lips. He kisses her fingertips and waits for her to speak, but she doesn't. She just runs her fingers through his hair and down his neck to his shoulder, finally landing at the middle of his chest under his necklace and directly above his heart, her eyes following the path she makes with her hand. He starts to get nervous that he's said something wrong. “Say something, honey.”

Her eyes flit back up to meet his clear blue ones and she opens her mouth, but closes it again.

“What is it?” Now he's really worried. She's never been speechless before. Finally, she speaks so softly he can barely hear her.

“I don't know how to tell you that I think I was meant for you without sounding like I'm crazy.”

“Oh, honey. If you're crazy, then so am I.” He dives into a deep and passionate kiss as she pulls at his clothes, pushing his jacket off of his shoulders and shirt over his head and off. He yanks her skirt down her legs, tearing at her panties with a fire he hasn't felt in years. The need to be close to her is so strong, it overwhelms any sense of doubt or apprehension as she pushes his pants down just enough to free his erection. The next thing he knows, he's on top of her with his cock sliding in and out of her as she whimpers and moans and claws at his back. He groans with the sensation of her wrapped around him as he pounds her with a fervor he didn't know he still had. The heat of their passion is matched only by their love for each other.

“Oh God, Elvis.” She moans in his ear as he hits her g-spot at a relentless pace. Her legs wrap around his waist and he grunts with the change in angle. Their skin burns with sweat in the places where it meets and she whimpers as she feels her climax approach. “Oh fuck!”

Her body shakes involuntarily as her orgasm slams into her like a freight train, rushing through her with the speed and intensity of a lightning bolt. She clings to him as he continues to rut into her while she cums, her pussy throbbing and pulsing around his dick.

“Goddamn, Tink, honey, I love it when you cum.” He moans and slams into her one last time, pressing his forehead to hers as his cock twitches and fills her with warmth.

They lay there, both of them trembling in the aftershocks of their orgasms. He kicks his pants all the way off and then rolls onto his back to settle her against his side with her leg and arm thrown over his body.

“Move in with me.” He whispers into her hair. She picks her head up and looks into his face.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Move in here and we'll be crazy together. You are my big adventure, honey. Live with me.” He holds her chin between his thumb and forefinger as he talks.

“I'm gonna need to pack more than that little suitcase.”

“So that's a yes?”

“That's a fuck yes, babe.” He giggles and tickles her sides excitedly and they laugh together on the big-enough couch, naked and unafraid of the future… for now.

******

What next?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @atleastpleasetelephone @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley @returntopresley @searchingforgravity @msamarican @angschrof @lustnhim @polksaladava @librababe99 @hooked-on-elvis @theelvisprincess @makethemorning @peaceloveelvis @mrspresley69 @pxpresley @kxnnxy

[sports-on-sundays]

this simple feeling / LN4 & OP81 / Part 3

Summary: Lando x female!Australian!McLaren marketing unit worker!reader x childhood best friend!Oscar - Two Formula 1 drivers who just so happen to race for McLaren also just so happen to have fallen for you. Link to part 1, link to part 2

Warnings: I think I might've messed up the timeline just alittle bit but that's okayyyy (probably should have all taken place like a week or two later but I only realized that after it was all written so I guess you'll just have to deal with it; I'm sincerely sorry), language, sickness, vertigo, let me know if there's more I missed

Requested?: To be honest, I don't think so, but let me know if I forgot about you.👍

A handsome smile adorns Lando Norris's lips as he strolls down the Spanish paddock, and it's extraordinary to believe that despite his outside cover, he has the most pounding headache.

It's all my fucking fault, his mind roars as he catches the eye of Max Verstappen walking past and gives him a friendly wave. Y/n is a nervous wreck over the whole situation, and Oscar seems like he's going to blow if he sees me show Y/n affection one more time.

Why did I ever fucking start this stupid, stupid 'relationship?' It's a mess, and it's all my fault.

And I've got no way of fixing it.

Maybe I should have just given up Y/n in the first place, before all this happened.

Maybe I am wrong for getting in the way of her and Oscar.

But a part of him knows that's not right. He could never give you up. You could never give him up. And neither of you could ever give up on Oscar.

Even though it's starting to look like that might just be the best for him. Or at least, the best option at this point.

After I've gone and messed it all up.

For once in his life, sleep won't just take Oscar Piastri.

It sounds stupid, because he shouldn't be going to sleep. Not here. Not now. But as he lay in his driver's room, all he wishes is for sleep to take him away from his never-ending thoughts into a peaceful, sweet, dreamless slumber.

But every time he tries to replace his current ones with new ones, his brain always leads him back to the main point:

You messed up.

He sighs. He's just being over dramatic, isn't he? Isn't that all it is? Shouldn't he just get over himself?

It's not that he doesn't like Lando. In fact, he does. A... well, a lot. He could see himself having real affection towards him.

He might even want to.

But that longing, confused part in his brain keeps coming back to: But what if Y/n loves him more? Isn't he just getting in the way of what you always wanted?

Isn't this unfair, Oscar?

But that's just the worst part of it all.

It's not unfair. Not one bit.

For your whole life, Oscar has known you. For years, he's cared about you. He's even loved you. He just never said it. Always held back. When he shouldn't have.

If he had just acted way before, in the beginning, it would've been just you and him. That's the way it would have been, and Lando would have never gotten in the way.

But, Oscar's brain whispers, almost like a sneaking suspicion, do you really want Lando out of this, now that he's in it?

Maybe I just have to learn to accept it. Accept him. Trust them both.

Do I just need to get over myself?

Because I am the only reason why this isn't working...

Right?

No one else can feel it, but it's getting awkward. Not even so much in private. In private, Lando is honest, and Oscar tries. In private, you see. They're not all lovey dovey, but they care about each other. It's like all is well, though you and Lando both know how Oscar can get.

But in public, it's worse. Terribly worse. It's like Lando and Oscar want to have something, but they can't. It's like Lando wants it but Oscar won't let him... and, at the same time, as if Oscar wants it but Oscar also won't let himself.

Why not?

In public, since they have to fake, it's like it's hard not to. Because they're closer than friends, but not more than that.

In private, they're trying to fake, so it almost comes easier.

But in public, they almost avoid each other at the same time as being super friendly with each other when they do have to talk.

You hate it.

A huge part of you wonders: If Oscar likes Lando back, why doesn't he just relax and let this whole thing work? Doesn't he need it?

Doesn't he need Lando, just the same way I need him?

He certainly acts like it. Sometimes. The only solution you can think of, though a not very clear or perhaps not very accurate one, and one with certainly no answer, is this:

He wants you more than anything. But he needs Lando more than anything.

But because he wants you so bad, it hurts him to see Lando having you.

Though he has you, too.

But he can't let himself break out and let himself love Lando back, because his feelings towards you are so incredibly strong.

You sigh.

Oscar. Why can't you just give up? Give in? Why can't I show you just how much I adore you?

What do I have to do to show you?

Is there anything I can do that would be enough?

You sigh. What if you're all wrong? What if Oscar really can't love Lando back? What if this whole thing is bound to fail?

What if there's absolutely no solution?

As anxiety begins to fill your chest, you feel as though you're right back at square one again.

Why didn't I just choose, from the beginning? Wouldn't it have been better to break one of their hearts, than all three of our hearts?

Because isn't that what is going on right now?

We're all breaking.

And we wouldn't be if I hadn't ever, ever let it get this fair.

Damn it.

It really is all my fault.

Maybe it's all the stress, or maybe it's just the natural way of things, but either way, by the time a week later that the Austrian Grand Prix comes around, you are in no world feeling well enough to go to it.

Of course, that's fine. You're sick; no one will have a problem with you staying home to rest up and get better. There are plenty of other people who can take care of your usual responsibilities for one race weekend. That's not really a big deal at all.

Of course, Lando and Oscar sure treated the whole thing as one, both of them talking about how one of them should stay with you, and how are you going to get on by yourself, and they feel like such bad boyfriends for leaving you in your unwell state, and so on. Blah, blah, blah.

Really, it was the sweetest thing. You know you shouldn't complain. But you did end up telling the two they were both wrong, not to worry, go race, and it's quite easy to FaceTime and stay in touch so they can check up on you over the weekend.

So despite whatever your boyfriends think about it, that's the decision you made sure was made, because there was no way you'd let either of them do something so ridiculous as to miss a race because of you.

Especially not the Austrian Grand Prix, for God's sake.

Well, whether Lando and Oscar would admit it or not, both of them, in their own little ways, see this as an opportunity for connection with each other.

One-on-one.

So now, of course, Lando has been the sole thing, other than racing, that's been on Oscar's mind all weekend. So much so that he finds himself wandering towards Lando's driver's room after qualifying, his heart leading the way more so rather than his head.

When he reaches the door, he finds it ajar, and peeks in through the door frame, his heart pounding.

Why is his heart pounding?

He swallows, his eyes resting on Lando relaxing, scrolling his phone. He hasn't seen Oscar yet.

Lando. There's a lot I like about him.

Let's just try this. Just for now, forget about Y/n. Think about Lando. Think about all the reasons why you care about him. Think about it as if it were just you and him.

Would you want it to work?

He knows the answer, but wouldn't dare let himself consciously think it.

Oscar gently knocks on the door, as to avoid startling Lando, before saying softly, "Hey, Lando?"

The British man immediately looks up, his hazel eyes meeting Oscar's plain old brown ones. Though he doesn't smile, his eyes soften. And brighten. "Hey, Oscar." He sits up a bit, as to make more room on the sofa. "Wanna come in?"

Oscar nods, stepping inside. Gently closes the door behind himself. Somehow, Lando seems to understand.

He sits down. Closer to him. Turns and looks him right in the eyes. Opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it when he realizes he has nothing to say.

Lando talks instead. "How are you?"

"Fine... and you?"

"Good... I think the race should be promising."

Oscar nods in agreement. The silence feels so simply empty.

"You missing Y/n? Is that what it is?" Lando gently asks.

Oscar considers that for a few seconds, before slowly shaking his head 'no.' "Of course, I wouldn't mind her being here. But that's not it."

"What's 'it,' then?" Lando asks.

Somehow, he just knows, doesn't he?

Oscar's starting to see why you might love that about him so much.

"It's not Y/n I'm missing. I guess I'm missing you. And me. I'm missing us."

"Hm," Lando says simply, seeming to ponder that for a few seconds, before saying softly, almost as a dare, "How could you miss 'us,' if 'us' was never a thing?"

Oscar feels the sudden urge to reach out towards Lando. Put his hand on his, or fix that loose curl, or do something.

But he holds back. Like he's always done with you.

God damn it. Am I really doing it again?

What am I even doing?

"I guess..." Oscar murmurs after some hesitation, staring down towards the tiled floor, "I miss the 'us' that could be and should be but never has been."

Oscar feels Lando look up towards him, but continues staring at the floor.

"Look at me."

But Oscar doesn't dare.

That's when Lando gently moves his hand to grab Oscar's chin and force his head to look at him. Not in an overly gentle way, but not in a way that hurts.

Oscar sighs. Those eyes.

When did he start liking them so much?

"We can make that reality," Lando murmurs, in the same determined way he talks about sports, or strategies. "We can make it happen. You don't have to miss me, or Y/n, and we can make 'us' come true."

Oscar gulps. Nods, though he knows not why.

Maybe it's because I really do want it.

I do, don't I?

Us.

Lando reaches over and grabs Oscar's hand strongly. Wraps his hand around the other man's. "This simple feeling..." Lando whispers. "Don't you like it?"

Oscar swallows. "I don't know if I like it, but..."

Lando waits for him to finish, even after he's trailed off.

"...but I think I know that it's exactly what... what I need."

Lando sighs. A little smile even begins to sneak up on his lips, just gently. Softly. Hardly there.

That's when he leans in and pulls him into a hug. And embrace. And it's refuge that Oscar finds there, in his arms. The same kind of irreplaceable refuge he finds in your arms. He sighs, wrapping his arms back around Lando, feeling the warmth of his body around him like a blanket.

"This simple feeling," Oscar murmurs this time, mirroring Lando's words, swallowing, his voice cracking softly, though tears don't threaten to fall.

It's just a little raw.

"This simple feeling... it's exactly what I want. What I need. From both of you.

"It's like I'd be content if we let this last forever," Oscar finishes softly with, close to Lando's ear.

"We can make it last forever," Lando utters back.

And all time stops in that little room as the two men embrace. A cavern of honesty and truth.

A safe place that promises to hold them forever.

It's funny how someone's cares and concerns can be washed away so quickly.

Like, for example, Oscar's podium at the Austrian Grand Prix in 2024, seeing his team grin up at him, spraying the champagne with George and Carlos, the joy of getting second place.

Partially, also, the joy of being the one to score points for the team.

But once that's all done and he's talking and doing all that PR, it starts nagging at him. You're not here, which means Lando's all alone.

Probably fucking pissed off.

P20.

So it's a mix. He got 2nd! But Lando got 20th.

So he tries to get through all the PR gobbly-gook as fast as possible, while still putting on a good face, since he knows you'll particularly care a lot if he screws up all his interviews the one race you weren't able to make it.

As soon as he's set free from his duties, though, he rushes to Lando's driver's room. On the way, someone even grabs his arm, saying, "Oscar! Oscar! An autograph? Please?" but he brushes them off, saying, "If you stay around, I'll be back to give it to you!" before just running off again.

He honestly can't grasp why he's so particularly and intensely desperate to see Lando.

It's because he did something for me last night when I needed him. Now I can't just leave him when he needs me most.

Soon, he reaches the latched closed door and knocks hard, saying, "Lando? Are you in there?"

There's a few moments of silence, and for a moment Oscar's nerves tell him that Lando isn't even here, and that he ignored that fan for no reason at all, until those thoughts are interrupted with Lando responding with a heavy sigh in his voice, "Osc? You can come in."

Oscar sighs with a certain amount of relief before gently opening the door and letting it shut behind him.

Lando is standing, not facing Oscar, on his phone, texting. Head down.

"How're you-"

"Texting Y/n."

Oscar nods, slowly walking up behind him. He gently rests a hand on Lando's shoulder, and says softer, "What's she saying?"

"Everything she has to in order to try and make me feel less like shit."

"Is it working?"

Lando turns, looking over his shoulder back at Oscar with a wry smile, saying, "Not at all. Max is a fucking-"

"Cheater, aggressive driver, idiot, bad sportsman. I know that's everything you're going to say. You just need to blow off some steam, hm?"

Lando snorts, shutting off his phone, hanging his head. "I've had an hour and a half to do that since the race."

"It takes a while," Oscar says simply, giving his shoulder a squeeze.

Lando sighs, nodding. "I know... I guess I'm not even really that mad anymore. Just disappointed. And frustrated."

Oscar nods, glancing away, beginning to slip his hand off Lando's shoulder.

But Lando reaches back, slipping his hand over Oscar's to keep it there, dragging his other hand over his face with a heavy sigh

It's then that Oscar suddenly feels compelled to do something he never thought he would.

Yet he gives in, simply because it feels like exactly the right thing to do in the moment. So he wraps both arms around Lando from behind, pulling him towards himself, letting his nose and lips press against his neck, next to Lando's ear.

Lando sighs in something like contentment.

And Oscar feels himself smiling softly, before it quickly fades off, and he whispers gently in Lando's neck, "You're a good driver. You would've won that race. But I also know that means you'll be able to win the next one, hm?"

Lando nods, sighing. "You're right. I know you're right."

Oscar nods, murmuring, "But you have every right to be upset. And I'll be with you during that working through it as long as you want me to be."

Lando feels an unexpected smile begin to creep up on his face as he mutters, "I want you here with me every single moment you want to be here, Oscar."

"Yeah? It's funny how I've started to like to be with you more."

"I guess that's just my natural charm, hm?" Lando says softly, his smile growing.

Oscar can almost not believe how he naturally chuckles at that and responds softly, "I don't know about that..."

Lando is full on grinning now. That handsome, big, sunny smile of his. "Just ask Y/n about it. She'll tell you all about my charm."

"Hah," Oscar says sarcastically, but for some reason, instead of coldness, like that comment might used to have filled his chest with, he feels an undeniable, affectionate warmth fill his body.

A feeling that he seems to like a lot more.

He just re-wraps his arms around Lando and responds softly, "I'm sure Y/n would tell you all about my charm, too, Lando."

Lando smirks, glancing back at Oscar, meeting the Australian's milk chocolate eyes. "But you don't have to ask Y/n to hear about how charming you are, Oscar. I could talk about that all night." Lando's honestly not sure where all this bravery on his part is coming from, but he's honestly glad for it. Since it seems to be going down well.

Oscar's eyebrows raise as his light complexion becomes slightly flushed. "Hm. You could?"

"Oh yeah," Lando laughs a bit. A beautiful sound. Then the two remain in that peaceful silence, before Oscar lets his hands slip away from Lando gently.

Lando turns, taking the younger man's hand in his, looking earnestly into his eyes. "Hey. Congratulations on your P2, by the way. I was so caught up in my own shit, I completely forgot about your-"

"Don't worry," Oscar says, waving it off. "I don't mind. But thank you, anyway."

Lando grins, leaning in to kiss his cheek and saying simply, "No, thank you, Oscar. Look at the way you've managed to cheer me up like that, huh?"

Oscar smiles at that, his eyes fluttering shut for just a moment, perhaps in something like peace, or trust, for him to murmur, "Not sure how that happened..."

"Guess it's just that charm of yours we previously discussed, huh?"

And Oscar's eyes flutter open just in time to see Lando peck his lips.

And with Oscar's face fire hydrant red and Lando laughs filling the small room, I'll leave it up to the reader to go and imagine what could've happened next.

Oscar and Lando get out of the car, Lando holding some flowers and Oscar a grocery bag of goodies.

"You ready?" Lando says with a little smile, nodding to Oscar.

"Can't wait to see her, despite the poor state she must be in," Oscar says with a nod, and is about to start walking, when he suddenly stops and, with only a moment of hesitation beforehand, holds his hand out to Lando to take.

Lando looks at the hand, before looking up at Oscar again, taking his hand, with a little grin. He gives him a nod, before the two head off towards the house, hand-in-hand.

You're awakened in your feverish state by the ringing of the doorbell. You know you should get up and at least look to see who it is, but at the same time, who could it be? You're not expecting anyone. So you opt for the easier decision to just assume it's something unimportant like the mailman or something and leave it, letting yourself drift back into your feverish half-sleep.

But just as you're about to fully drift back off into slumber, it rings again. You sigh and stand up with an ornery groan, dragging your shaky legs to the window, to peek out of it, to see what on earth is so important.

But you stop as soon as you see them.

Your boys.

Lando holding flowers.

And what's more, they're holding each other's hands.

And they both look completely comfortable with it.

Really? Even Oscar?

He's not that good of an actor!

Soft smiles adorn both their handsome, perfect faces, shining like a charming prince and a shining knight.

Your foggy brain doesn't take the time to consider which is the prince and which is the knight, and you instead rush to the door right away, unlocking it and exclaiming, "Lan! Osc!" You stumble a bit dizzily as your weakened legs threaten to give out, but Lando's arm is there to steady you right away, keeping you from falling.

"Hey, Y/n," Oscar says gently, putting his arm on yours as Lando plants a quick kiss on your forehead, asking, "You okay?"

You sigh, nodding, and saying after the wave of vertigo subsides, "Just still a bit sick."

"No kidding. My God. Let's get you back inside and in your bed," Lando says gently, letting you use his arm to steady yourself as the three of you head inside and to your bedroom.

Once you're there and crawling back into bed, Lando hands Oscar the flowers and says, reaching in the shopping bag, "Got you some chicken noodle soup, Y/n. Want me to make you some?"

"Oh, God," you murmur, sinking back down against the pillow, "Yes, Lando, that'd be great."

He nods and leaves, going off to do that, leaving you with Oscar.

The first thing Oscar does is say, taking the blanket from the bottom of the bed, "Want this on?"

You nod, sniffing up your stuffed up nose. He gently tucks you in, kisses your forehead right where Lando kissed it, and grabs a tissue for you, seemingly out of thin air.

If you weren't a bit feverish, maybe you would of just known he got it out of the shopping bag. But you kind of missed that detail.

"We got you flowers," Oscar says gently, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to you.

You smile softly, leaning up to smell the bouquet, saying weakly, "Aw... that's so lovely... You guys didn't have to."

He smiles softly. "We wanted to treat you. To show you how much we missed you this weekend." He brushes a strand of hair from your forehead, before frowning and murmuring, "You're really warm. Hey, I'll be right back, m'kay?"

You're not sure how long it takes, but in a bit, Oscar comes back to place a cool cloth on your forehead, and puts the flowers, now in a vase, next to you, on your nightstand.

"They're so pretty," you murmur softly, gratefulness to you warm in your voice.

Oscar smiles. "Pretty flowers for a pretty girl."

You smile softly, reaching to take his hand. "I like you like this."

"Like what?" his eyebrows raise.

"All soft. I like that."

He smiles. "Just taking care of you." He leans down and kisses your cheek, saying, "Can I get you anything? A drink? Water, tea?"

"Oh... I think I'm good. But thank you," you weakly smile.

He nods. "Are you comfortable? Do you want a fan, or another blanket, or anything?"

You shrug. "I dunno... Maybe a fan would be nice. There's a big one in the closet. Jus' put it on low."

He nods and immediately heads to do that. Once he's done, he goes straight to the windows, saying, "And the blinds? Are they good the way they are, or should I-"

"Oscar, Oscar," you say softly, giving a lazy wave of your hand. "None of that matter. Not really. I don't really care. Why don't you just stop worrying and running around and taking care of me and doing everything for just a moment and just come and be with me, huh? That's what I want for you to do the most. Just come be with me. Let's just talk, hm?"

Oscar blinks. "Oh. Of course." He nods, making his way across the room. As he settles down on the bed next to you, he says simply, "Sorry."

"Don't worry. I like it. You just need to give yourself a break, too. And I want to talk with you, Osc." You slip your hand in his.

He nods, and after a few seconds murmurs, "Maybe that's just what I want, too."

"See?" you smile softly up at him.

You sit together in silence for a bit, him gently rubbing your hand in his, before you finally think to ask, "So... How... How are things with you and Lando?"

"You noticed a change, didn't you, huh?"

"For the better. Unless I'm imagining. Or you suddenly became an amazing actor in one week."

He smiles, nodding. "Lando, he... I think we worked it out. I worked it out."

"Worked what out?"

"That I love you, and I might just love Lando, and that in order to love one, I've got to love the other."

You stare. "You... You and Lando?"

Oscar nods. "We talked. I think I can make this work now. Let this work. We can let this work."

You smile. "Hm. Really?" you look at him with fluttery eyes.

He shrugs, smiling softly. "I can't just care about myself. That's not what a relationship is about. Nor can I just care about you. Nor can I just care about Lando. It needs to be selfless, you know? We need to be there for each other."

You grin and murmur, "For some reason, Osc, I really wanna kiss you right now, but I'm sick. It's like you've just said what I've been dreaming for you to say for weeks now. Probably months."

He smiles, nodding. "I guess it was bound to happen. I just had some things to work through. And even though I don't even know how, and don't think he does, either, Lando helped me work through them, partially, too... Oh, and by the way, with the kiss thing?" he smiles, leaning down a bit closer, before murmuring, "I'm sure you won't get me sick. You're probably way past being contagious." And with that, he closes his eyes and leans in to kiss you gently.

It's then that Lando walks in and says with that cheeky smile of his, "Hey, lovebirds, can I get in on this? When's it my turn?"

You pull away from Oscar and tease, "Oh, get back in the kitchen!"

"Jeez! I guess I'll just eat your soup, then, if you're going to be like that!"

"Wait! No!" you say, reaching your arms out for the tray in his arms.

He chuckles, placing it in your lap, and says, slipping on the bed next to you, on the opposite as Oscar, "Did you really think I would eat your food?"

"You might..."

He grins. "I might."

"Hey!" you giggle, rolling your eyes.

Lando lays down next to you as Oscar says, "My goodness, Y/n, you're so peppy as soon as Lando enters the room. You were acting so sick before, just a few minutes ago!"

You grin, looking him over with a shrug, "I guess I liked the way you were treating me so softly and delicately. I didn't want you to stop feeling like you had to take care of me. Now, come on. You lay down next to me, too, won't you?"

Oscar smiles and does so, murmuring, "I guess I can't say no, huh?"

You smile, contented, shutting your eyes as you feel the warmth from both of them, on each of your sides, envelop you. "I guess not."

As you eat your soup, your boys snuggle up to you, their arms wrapping around you, and the three of you talk. Mostly about Austria, and then about he upcoming British Grand Prix in less than a week now, which you're sure you'll be healed up enough for, especially since getting there doesn't require any planes or airports. Sometimes, that can be the worst part of travelling to Grand Prixs far away.

Soon, though, you finish your soup, and sink back down into the pillows, letting the tiredness seize your body once more. As you begin to drift off, the last thing you whisper is, "I love you guys..."

On each side, you feel each of their lips gently kiss your cheeks, but you don't stay awake long enough to hear how they respond to that.

Here you are, with your two McLaren boys.

Sure, there'll be rough spots. Lots of them. Something like this doesn't promise to be easy.

But sometimes, the harder path is the better one in the end.

And right now, in this simple moment, it feels perfectly worth it.

Well, maybe perfectly imperfect.

But would you really want it any other way?

This simple feeling...

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[pleasantphantomhologram]

Title: longing (Part 1)(PART 2)

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x Reader 

Warning: Modern Setting, Fertility problem, Angst, Hurt. 

Summary: When the doctor said that you will lose your chance to have a children, suddenly your world collapse, but Marcus Acacius, your husband is there no matter what's your choice.

A/N: Hello! i just want to drop this fanfiction that have been on my draft since i dont know when. so... yeah, enjoy the part 1. Please leave a note,if you are interest for the part 2 :') (I am so sorry if it is there any grammar error, it is not my main language :'( )

"You are the only matter to me Y/N. No matter what you choose, I will support you."

The baby's cries were like the incessant honking of cars at a busy city intersection. Y/N stared blankly at the dull white ceiling of her hospital room. This shared room was meant for two patients, and she didn't know much about the woman in the next bed, but she was certain the other woman had just given birth to her first child.

Child, a familiar word on the tip of her tongue, yet so foreign at the same time. For Y/N, having a child was a small dream she had harbored for a long time because having a small family with Acacius was the meaning of happiness for her. Acacius, a middle-aged man who had unexpectedly entered Y/N's life and promised to be by her side until death did them part, the man who was always there for her when she had to endure the severe cramps every time her period came, the man who only looked at her with concern and not judgment when the doctor said...

"I'm sorry, but it's no longer possible to save Mrs. Y/N's uterine wall,"

Acacius held Y/N's hand, which was starting to tremble as the doctor's verdict filled the room.

"No, there must be another way, doc, I'm still young, not even thirty yet."

"Once again, I'm sorry Mrs. Y/N, but your fibroids are too large and attached to your uterine wall."

"NO! IT'S JUST A NORMAL FIBROIDS, WHY DOES MY UTERINE WALL HAVE TO BE REMOVED TOO?" Y/N's anger came out in every word she uttered.

"Y/N, hey, calm down, honey."

"NO, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE JUDGEMENT..."

Acacius slowly embraced Y/N, who was now starting to become hysterical. Removing her uterine wall? Really? It was like forcibly taking her soul away, and it was so cruel. The man hugged her tightly, stroking Y/N's back slowly, hoping his wife knew that even though this was difficult, the most important thing for him was for her to get healthy and smile again like the first time they met.

"Hey, Y/N. Please listen to me for a moment, honey? Please look at me. I know this is so heartbreaking for us. Yes, I know you will feel less than any woman, but the only thing that matters to me is you becoming healthy again. You are still my wife, the one I chose to be with forever. Screw people and society. Please, baby, we will get through this together. I promise it will be hard at first, but trust me, it will be alright." Acacius said, his hand gently touched the lines of Y/N's face and directed her eyes, which were now filled with tears, to look into Acacius's eyes.

"I love you, always. with or without children. You are the only matter to me Y/N. No matter what you choose, I will support you."

Their conversation in the doctor's room a few days ago echoed in her mind, accompanied by the sound of Acacius's anger coming from outside the hospital ward. Her husband was protesting to the hospital staff about their decision to place her in the same ward with all the women who had just given birth. Of course, he was angry, very angry to be exact. How could the hospital staff be so heartless, when it was clear that she had a different condition than the others? He was afraid that all this would add stress to her life.

You could still faintly hear Acacius insisting on moving you, who had just finished having your uterine wall removed, to a VIP room. Shortly after that, Acacius came back into the room and sat beside you. His expression still looked angry, but he tried to hide it.

"Honey.., talk to me..,"

"I am so sorry Y/N"

" It's not your fault."

"I am so sorry, I swear I will make things a lot easier for you." said Acacius.

"You are here. and it is already enough."

Acacius looked at Y/N, you knew he was calming himself down as his fingers slowly held your fingers and kissed them.

[sevikasleftbicep]

hello😁 how about sevika x semi masc reader who’s boyfriend/girlfriend cheated on them so they cheated with sevika and they ended up dating

A/N: before we start I just wanna say I'm a fem and I know nothing about masc presenting actions/looks because I'm not one personally so if I make any mistakes please let me know, other than that let's get to it

You knew what sevika was gonna say before you even knocked on her door, again.

This happened a lot during your relationship with your ex. Now, it all came to a head when you walked in on her, with her best friend.

"What happened?" she gave you that look, a look you knew all too well.

"She cheated." The tears hadn't stopped no matter how hard you tried. Sevika signed and opened the door to let you through.

"So pick your poison darling" she motioned to her liquor cabinet, one you've grown familiar with during your relationship with your ex.

"Just some whiskey, please" You needed something stronger than your regular to get you through this shit.

You felt her eyes, pity, knowing, maybe even a little sadness she felt for you.

"You know you could just tell me I told you so." You stated sarcastically.

"Now why would I do that? Sure, I never liked the woman, but she made you happy, and now you just look blue." She was right, you had thought you finally found the one truly.

"What did I do wrong?" The truth is neither you nor sevika knew what you did wrong. You treated her like royalty, anything she could have possibly wanted, she got.

You and sevika moved to the couch, where she held you. You're not much of a cuddler, but aeviks knew you needed it.

(I'm sorry, I'm very new to this, so where gonna do a time skip instead of smut, I'm just not ready to write that yet)

*time skip a couple months*

You finally got off work, and now it's time to head home to your girlfriend.

It's insane really after that night, sevika, and you got to talking. You admitted that the only reason you got with her was to try and get over sevika, then she admitted that she felt the same way.

The rest is history. Now you're on your way home to her.

As you open up your apartment door, you see the exact person you were just thinking of lounging on the couch with a glass of whiskey.

"Hey baby, how was work?" you say as you talk your shoes and jacket off, ready to join her.

"Hey darling, it was good, silco had me going every which way today." She said, making room for you.

As you sit down, you realize what you need is right in front of you, this amazing woman, a good career, and a warm home to come home to every night.

A/N: Sorry if it's not that good, but I feel I'm slowly getting better. Anyway, continue with the requests. I love seeing them come in. Have a great holidays and please stay safe. 😊😘

[nknoxe-n]

☆★☆★→ Call Me Back? ←☆★☆★

Synopsis: Reo doesn't love you, and you don't love him, right? But you're both liars to each other and to yourselves

Tags: [angst] [pre established friendship][shitty ending its comfort I just suck at endings][not a nice ending but not a bad one in terms of angst][You both being in denail][unknown mutual pining][miscommunication]

w.c 4.7k

a/n: I think this is the longest fic I have written so far and surprisingly it's for Reo.. basically saying the rest of my account is Shidou and Rin. It is NOT proofread and I do hate it but who doesn't like two friends that can't tell they love each other and also if you see this and like my writing, I'm doing a match up event for 100 followers starting on the 26th :D

It had always been so easy to be around Reo. No matter how different your worlds seemed, no matter the distance that existed between his wealth and your modest upbringing, there was a connection that felt natural, effortless. The laughter came easily, whether you were sharing snacks on lazy afternoons or getting caught up in competitive gaming sessions where the stakes were nothing more than pride.

You didn’t care about the lavish gifts he’d sometimes try to give you, the ones that were meant to impress. Expensive perfumes, designer clothes—it all felt like an attempt to buy your affection. But you’d never wanted those things. They never impressed you the way he thought they might. You’d much rather have a poorly written note that made him smile, one that carried his personality, than something shiny with a high price tag.

When you thought about the moments that meant the most, it was always the simple ones. The evenings spent binging on snacks that could only be described as “junk” food, yet they were filled with laughter and inside jokes. The way he would tease you for your competitive streak, then turn around and beg you for a rematch when you beat him. Or how, when you lost, he’d give you that grin of triumph, but it never felt like he was rubbing it in. It was just… fun. Simple. Real.

There were nights when you both stayed up talking, no agenda, just sharing pieces of yourselves. You knew about his pressures, the expectations that came with being Mikage Reo—the heir to a powerful family—and he knew about your dreams of independence. You had your whole life planned out. The university you were determined to attend abroad, the job you’d pursue once you finished school, the career that would give you the freedom you craved. No amount of wealth or grandeur could sway you from your path.

Sometimes, Reo would try to convince you to let him help, but you always politely declined. You weren’t interested in shortcuts. The hard work and grit that would get you to where you wanted to be was far more appealing than any easy way out.

“What’s wrong with a little help?” he’d tease, flashing a mischievous grin your way.

You’d roll your eyes playfully. “Because I can do it on my own. I don’t need anyone else to build my future for me.”

He would just shake his head with a chuckle. “You’re stubborn, you know that?”

And that was the beauty of your friendship. It wasn’t about what you could offer each other in terms of money or status. It was about something deeper. The way he respected your independence, your drive. And how you never once asked for anything he could buy. You valued his company, his time, and the moments you spent together. You didn’t need anything else.

The bond between you two wasn’t built on pretense—it was built on shared understanding, laughter, and the kind of genuine moments people only experience when they’re not trying to impress anyone.

-

It was one of those nights when the air felt thicker than usual, the world outside humming quietly as you sat beside Reo on the balcony, the distant city lights twinkling like stars scattered on the earth. You were leaning against the rail, looking out over the view, and he was beside you, feet dangling off the edge of the low wall. For a moment, the silence between you both was comfortable, the kind that only happens when there’s no need for words. But there was an edge to it, something that had shifted recently—neither of you could place it, but it was there, hanging in the space between your breaths.

"How’s it been going?" you asked quietly, your voice gentle but carrying a weight of understanding.

Reo let out a slow sigh, running a hand through his hair. "The usual," he replied, but you could hear the tiredness in his voice, the subtle cracks that slipped through the mask he wore so well. "The pressure to be everything everyone expects me to be… it's exhausting. I can't even remember the last time I felt like I could just… relax. Be myself."

You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you simply turned to face him, your gaze soft as you caught the faintest trace of vulnerability in his eyes. Reo Mikage was never one to let anyone see him like this, to share these moments of uncertainty, but somehow, with you, he always felt a little lighter. Still, he kept his distance, pushing himself to be the heir, to fit into that mold. It was as if he’d built a wall around himself, and you were the only one who seemed to see the cracks in it.

"I know it’s hard," you said softly, your voice barely above a whisper. "But you’re allowed to be more than just the heir. You’re allowed to be you, Reo."

There was a quiet pause as your words hung in the air, and then he turned toward you. His expression softened, his lips curling slightly into a small smile. "You always know what to say."

You shrugged, trying to play it off, but inside, your heart was beating a little faster. There was something in his gaze, something that made you feel like he wasn’t just listening to your words, but he was seeing you in a way that was different from before.

And maybe that was why, when his fingers brushed against yours as he reached for the can of soda between you, the touch lingered a second too long. You couldn’t even call it an accident—it wasn’t, not with the way he hesitated, his hand barely leaving yours before he withdrew. The brush of his skin against yours felt like a spark, a tiny flame that started to flicker in the depths of your chest. It wasn’t anything monumental, but it felt… different. You couldn’t help but glance at him, only to find his eyes already on you, the faintest trace of something unreadable in them.

You didn’t pull away, though. It would’ve been too awkward, and somehow, in that moment, it felt like the right thing to do. Neither of you acknowledged it aloud, and yet, both of you were acutely aware of it, even if you didn’t say anything.

The rest of the night was quiet. But there were subtle things that began to shift. When you joked around, he’d laugh a little longer than usual, his gaze holding yours a second too long. And when you’d talk about your future—your plans to go abroad, to build your own life—he listened with a sort of intensity, the kind of focus he usually reserved for the most important matters.

Over time, your friendship with Reo began to shift in ways neither of you quite understood. The moments that once felt light and carefree started to carry a new weight. The way his hand brushed against yours as you passed the snacks or how he always seemed to linger a little longer than necessary when handing you something—those small, subtle gestures that had once been innocent started to stir something deeper.

It wasn’t anything overt at first. Just moments that seemed to stretch a little too long, a little too quietly. You noticed how he would sit closer than before during game nights, his knee occasionally brushing yours, and how, when you laughed too hard, his gaze lingered just a little longer than usual, like he was trying to capture the moment in his mind.

There were times when he would glance at you with something unreadable in his eyes, his lips curving into that smile of his—half-amused, half-wistful—and you found yourself wondering if there was something more to it. But you brushed it off, convincing yourself that it was just the comfort of your long-standing friendship. You were close. Maybe too close. But friendship was all it would ever be.

The more time you spent together, the more you realized how easy it was to slip into moments of closeness that didn’t seem to make sense. He would look at you after a silly joke, his eyes lighting up with that spark that made you smile back without thinking. You’d find yourself stealing glances at him when he wasn’t looking, your heart skipping a beat when your hands brushed in passing.

One evening, while watching a movie, you felt him shift closer to you. At first, you assumed it was because you’d both gotten too comfortable, but when his shoulder lightly pressed against yours, you froze. He didn’t pull away. Instead, he stayed there, his arm brushing yours once more. The proximity felt different. It was a closeness that wasn’t just physical—it was emotional, too. You tried to play it off, shifting awkwardly and pretending not to notice the way your heart was racing in your chest.

But you could feel his warmth beside you, and something in the air between you both shifted. There was no overt confession, no grand gesture. But in that moment, you both seemed to exist in a space where words weren’t necessary. The silence was enough.

Reo, as always, was the first to speak. But this time, his voice was softer than usual, almost hesitant. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he said, his eyes still fixed on the screen, but his voice carrying an undertone of something more. Something that felt a little too intimate.

You didn’t answer right away. Instead, you just leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling the steady rhythm of his breathing. You both had been through so much—him with his family, you with your plans for the future—and yet, this simple act of being together, of sharing this quiet space, felt like it was everything.

“Me neither,��� you whispered, your voice barely audible, even to yourself.

And maybe that was the issue. Maybe you both knew, deep down, that this was something more than just friendship. But neither of you dared to speak it out loud. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

-

Reo was acting strange. Well, stranger than usual. You noticed it a few days ago, but it wasn’t until now that you started to realize something was different. He was still his playful, affectionate self, but there were subtle changes. He’d call you more frequently, texting to check in on your day, asking about the little things, the details that he never cared much about before. He started showing up at your place unannounced, offering to drive you to class, waiting outside after work to grab coffee—small gestures that, at first, seemed like his usual friendly acts.

At first, you thought you were just reading too much into things. After all, Reo had always been affectionate—playful, a little too clingy sometimes—but it was just who he was. You didn’t think anything of it. You didn’t want to.

One evening, you both sat at his place, watching some random movie that neither of you were paying attention to. Your legs were tangled together on the couch, your head resting against his shoulder. His fingers lightly brushed through your hair as he casually turned the volume up.

It was the closeness you were used to, nothing new. But the tension in the air was undeniable. His hand, which had casually landed on your knee, now lingered there. You shifted, and Reo adjusted so his leg brushed against yours. The small, gentle touches, the unspoken connection—it all felt so natural. So… familiar. Yet, in the back of your mind, a small voice kept reminding you that things had been different lately.

Reo cleared his throat. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, his voice unusually soft.

You turned to him, a little surprised by his tone. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. You?”

He paused, his eyes flickering to yours before quickly looking away. “I’ve been thinking… about a lot of things.”

You raised an eyebrow but didn’t push him. “What kind of things?”

He hesitated, as if the words were caught somewhere between his chest and his mouth. Finally, he spoke, but it was quieter than usual, almost as if he was uncertain. “I don’t know. Just… about us. About how you always seem to know just what I need.”

You blinked, confusion flickering across your face. “Reo, we’ve been friends for so long. You know I’ve always got your back. You’re like family to me.”

Reo's expression faltered for just a moment. “Yeah, family. Right.” His voice trailed off as if he was trying to mask something deeper, something that wasn’t quite right. You didn’t catch it, though. To you, it was just another typical moment in your close friendship.

As the night went on, you both chatted and joked around, just like always. But your words stuck with him. Maybe it was his attempt at courting you—he wasn’t quite sure—but every time you responded with your usual platonic affection, it only reinforced his uncertainty. He didn’t know how to turn this friendship into something more, but he could feel that familiar warmth growing inside him every time you smiled at him. Every time you’d laugh, he felt that little spark. But when you called him “family,” it felt like a wall went up between you two.

The next day, you were hanging out at your favorite spot again, and Reo was acting more distant than usual. His phone buzzed, and he picked it up, reading something with a frown. He quickly stuffed it back in his pocket and shifted in his seat. You noticed, of course, but you didn’t mention it.

“What’s up?” you asked casually.

He glanced at you but then quickly looked away. “I’m fine. Just… thinking about a few things.”

“About what?”

Reo rubbed the back of his neck, looking more flustered than he usually did. “You know… maybe I’m just overthinking things. Forget it.”

It was as if a light bulb flickered above your head, and the pieces finally began to fall together. Reo was acting weird because he was interested in you. But the idea felt ridiculous, and it only made sense if you were misinterpreting his signals. You’d been friends for so long, and now suddenly, he was acting like he cared about you in a way that wasn’t just friendly. You shook your head, trying to push the thought away. No way.

You could feel the awkwardness stretching between you both now, as though there was some unspoken barrier that neither of you could cross. Reo’s attempts at deeper affection fell flat as you kept responding with the same ease, the same nonchalance. He was used to being loved and adored, used to being in control. But with you, it was different. It always had been.

That night, he finally said it—the thing that had been on the tip of his tongue all this time.

“I just… never mind.” His voice trailed off as he stood up, his frustration simmering. “Forget it, okay? I didn’t mean anything.” Only to immediately clam up, backtrack, regret.

You looked up at him, frowning. “What are you talking about, Reo?”

He didn’t respond at first. He just shook his head and muttered, “I’m sorry. I’m just… I don’t know anymore.”

The silence stretched between you, thick and uncomfortable, before he grabbed his jacket and walked out without another word.

Over the next few weeks, Reo threw himself into his work with Nagi, both of them pursuing their shared dream of becoming the best in soccer, and while it was mostly Reo's dream, it always has been, Nagi was his 'treasure' and key into the professional leagues. You noticed the subtle shift as he started spending more and more time with Nagi—long hours in practice, late-night strategy sessions. The calls and texts from Reo became less frequent, his absence more apparent. It left you with an uncomfortable emptiness you hadn’t expected.

At first, you were relieved. Maybe he’d gotten over whatever had been bothering him. But as the days wore on, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed. And you couldn’t help but wonder if it was your fault. Maybe you had pushed him away without realizing it. Maybe his feelings had been more than you had given him credit for.

You began to notice how much you missed him—the laughter, the ease, the way he could brighten any room just by being in it. You missed his presence, his warmth. And it started to sink in that you might have missed your chance to admit that, perhaps, you felt the same.

But now, he was slipping away, and you were left wondering if it was too late.

-

The game had ended, and Reo was still riding the high of his win as you stood at the edge of the field, waiting for him. You had come to watch, not because you had to, but because you wanted to. You had always supported him, even when his focus was more on the game than on anything else. He always seemed to forget to acknowledge you at times like this, but you didn’t mind. That was just how he was.

When the game ended, you waited for him near the stands, feeling the cool evening air wrap around you. Reo found you quickly, as he always did, a smile on his face as he jogged up to you. “Hey, you came,” he said, a glint of surprise in his eyes.

“Of course I did. How else would I know if you’re any good?” you teased, smiling back.

“Of course, you know I’m the best,” he said with his usual cocky grin, but there was something behind his eyes. Something softer.

The walk home was quiet, an almost uncomfortable silence hanging in the air between you both. You’d gotten so used to the easy banter, the casual conversations, and now there was this strange distance. It wasn’t that you were upset with him—not entirely—but something was missing, something that had been there before. You glanced at him, watching as he kept his gaze straight ahead, hands tucked into his pockets, his face slightly tense as if he was trying to keep something from spilling out.

You couldn’t ignore the feeling that had been nagging at you for the past few days—the weight of the silence.

Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. “Reo,” you began, your voice hesitant, but your heart felt like it was already halfway out of your chest. “I… I got accepted into the university I’ve been working for. The one abroad.”

His stride faltered for just a second. He stopped walking for a moment, turning to look at you, his expression unreadable. “You got in?” He asked, a mix of surprise and something else, but you couldn’t quite place it.

“Yeah,” you nodded, trying to keep the pride out of your voice. “It’s been the plan for a while now. I’m… going soon.” Your chest tightened, a mix of excitement and sadness flooding through you as the words left your mouth. It was everything you had dreamed of, but now it felt so heavy.

You looked over at Reo, and his smile was a little too tight, his eyes almost shadowed. He opened his mouth, but no words came out immediately. Instead, he turned his face away and began walking again, his steps slower now, as if weighed down by something.

“I’m… proud of you,” he said quietly, still not looking at you. “You deserve it.”

The silence between you deepened, suffocating almost, until Reo finally broke it again. “I’ve… I’ve been scouted,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “For a soccer program called Blue Lock. I’ll be leaving soon too.”

You froze in place, your breath catching in your throat. “Blue Lock?” you repeated, trying to make sense of his words you didn't know if that was good, but he always told you getting scouted by a big team or youth program was one big step towards his goal. “But… that’s huge, Reo. That’s amazing.” A part of you felt like your heart had just been ripped out, though you couldn’t understand why. Maybe it was the fact that you were both about to embark on separate paths—two dreams pulling you in opposite directions.

“I know…" he continued, his voice slightly strained. “I’ll be gone for a while. A long while. I don’t even know what’s going to happen after that. Things are just… changing, and…”

He trailed off, and for the first time in a while, you saw the cracks in his façade. It was the first time he didn’t seem sure of himself, didn’t have the answers.

Your stomach twisted painfully, and before you knew it, the words slipped out. “Reo, why didn’t you… why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He flinched, his eyes softening for a split second, before he looked away again. “I didn’t want to… I didn’t want you to think I was just… going to leave. I didn’t want things to change, but they already are, right?” He stopped walking again, turning to face you, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re going, and I’m… leaving too.”

It was then that everything seemed to crash down on both of you at once. You stood there, facing each other, caught in a whirlwind of feelings that neither of you had fully processed until now. You had both been avoiding the reality of it, pretending that things would stay the same, even when they couldn’t.

The words started to tumble out of you, overlapping and colliding with his own. “Reo, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, with everything changing—”

“I don’t want to lose you, okay?” Reo blurted out, his voice raw and desperate dominating yours. “I never wanted things to be like this. I—I don’t even know how to do this. I don’t know how to… let you go.”

Your heart stopped, and you stood there, frozen. His words echoed in your mind, but there was something more beneath it, something unspoken, hanging between you two like a fragile thread.

“I don’t want to lose you either, Reo,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper. “But we can’t keep pretending like things won’t change. They already are. We already are.”

You could see the hurt in his eyes, and for a brief moment, you thought he might say something more, something that would bridge the gap between you two. But the moment passed, and instead, he just let out a shaky breath, rubbing his face with his hand.

“I guess we’ve both been holding on to the wrong things,” he muttered, a bitter edge creeping into his voice.

And that was it. No more words. No more attempts at fixing things. The space between you had become too vast for easy fixes, and neither of you knew how to close the distance anymore.

Reo let out a breath and looked down, his shoulders slumping in defeat. “I… I should go…. Call me later?”

You nodded, unable to find the words to stop him. The emptiness settled in quickly, and as Reo walked away, you felt something in your chest snap, even though you couldn’t quite say what it was.

It wasn’t just that he was leaving. It was that, for once, he was being honest with himself—about his feelings, about everything. But the timing, the way everything had come to light, made it too late.

-

The days after that evening with Reo felt like an endless stretch of time. You focused on your studies, your new life, and the overwhelming rush of excitement that came with your acceptance into the university abroad. It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t perfect, but you were moving forward. Every day felt like a step toward independence, toward the life you had always planned, and you couldn’t afford to look back.

The first few days after your conversation with Reo were quiet. You couldn’t call him. You just couldn’t bring yourself to. Not when everything felt so raw, and not when his words, filled with uncertainty and bitterness, still echoed in your mind. You told yourself it wasn’t worth dwelling on. But still, it gnawed at you—why hadn’t he called? Why hadn’t he answered when you tried?

Eventually, the urge to reach out became too strong, and you grabbed your phone, fingers trembling as you dialed his number. The seconds stretched into minutes, but there was no answer.

You tried again. And again. Until the hours passed, your frustration growing with each failed attempt. Your chest tightened, and a bitter feeling pooled in your stomach. Was it something you said? Something you did? Had you been too abrupt when you told him about your future? Or maybe… maybe it was something else. His life was about to take a new direction too, wasn’t it?

You tried not to overthink it. You tried to tell yourself that it wasn’t your fault. That maybe, just maybe, Reo needed time to himself too. But even as you sat there, staring at the phone screen, the silence felt suffocating. Your mind spun in circles—why hadn’t he called back? You had been so close, you had been his constant, and now… now, he was gone. No word, no explanation. The uncertainty ate away at you.

And after that, you didn’t try again. Days turned into weeks, and then months. Your life was in full swing—uni life, dorm life, new friends, new experiences. It was all overwhelming and exhausting, but it was yours. And yet, every time you caught yourself thinking about Reo, you couldn’t remember why it had hurt so much back then. Maybe it had been the suddenness, the unfinished conversation, the realization that your paths were diverging.

But even as life carried on, you still found yourself replaying that moment—the last time you saw him. His words. The way he looked at you, like something had shifted, but neither of you had known how to face it.

That day, you were sitting on your dorm couch, textbook open in front of you, trying to study. You glanced up absentmindedly, the sound of the sports channel filling the background as white noise. It was just a game, something to pass the time while you tried to focus. But then the camera panned to the field.

Your heart skipped a beat.

There, on the screen, a match between the U-20 team and Blue Lock, the program he'd told you about, the feed was pre-recorded, this would have happened hours ago back in Japan but was only coming to you now. But there was no mistaking it. It was him. Your best friend.

You froze. Your heart thudded in your chest, the weight of emotions you had buried deep in your heart suddenly resurfacing, sharper than ever.

Without thinking, you grabbed your phone from the table beside you, fingers trembling as you flicked through your contacts. You stared at his name, sitting there on your screen, and the weight of the decision hit you harder than you expected.

You hadn’t called him in months. You hadn’t even thought about calling him after those first few failed attempts. But now, now you wanted to reach out.

You hesitated, then pressed the call button and let it ring.

Each second felt like an eternity. Your heartbeat matched the rhythm of the call, and just as you thought it would go to voicemail again, it clicked.

Reo’s voice, so familiar, so distant, crackled through the line. “Hello?”

What did you say now? 'Reo I love you and I know you haven't called me back since I left and we'd probably never see each other between my school life and your soccer career but I saw you on TV and almost balled my eyes out because I miss you so much? No.'

So you settled "Hey… It's me… You told me to call you back? But uh.. you never answered…" "...I miss you"

[tiagobarros1699]

I don't criticize it because they think it's bad (because it is, from the sixth to the eighth arc the continuity becomes increasingly fragile and disappears for good at some point in the ninth arc).

But I still think it's sad to see that someone just didn't see the subsequent editions. In more closed editions, tll we have some of the best stories in the entire magazine.

We have the issue of the Witch rescuing Yan Lin from Singyu, the brief appearance of Erin Peyton (a diva, queen, iconic, I wanted her to become a permanent member of the main core), the issue where Will reaches the root of his power in the arc 7 and we see how important everyone is to her, Will's cute moments with his new brother and her stepfather, Dean, who does more for her than Thomas ever did. In addition, of course, to the highlight of these final arcs: finally seeing Cornelia and Peter together. After all this confusion, Cornelia finally maturing and having a HAPPY AND HEALTHY relationship WITHOUT ANY TRAUMA is very satisfying. Seeing the two together is always the highlight of any edition. Besides being very good when they show the public that her crush on Caleb WAS NOT A GOOD thing and that it only hurt her, rubbing it in everyone's face that she is much better off without that burden. We had perfect pearls here.

Another thing about arcs 7 through 11: we only have four writers working across 60 issues. They are Bruno Enna (the only one who was there since the first arc), Teresa Radice (who joined in the Nerissa and Arkhanta arcs), Alessandro Ferrari (entered with issue 65, and is also the author of Reboot) and finally, Augusto Machetto. In this case, the script is more "Augusto Machetto and friends", since he is responsible for about 70% of the stories from arc 7 onwards. If you don't like something in these arcs, it's almost certain that the script is his.While Bruno, Teresa and Alessandro always seem to be concerned about maintaining some continuity or making references to old editions.

And finally, I want to talk about one thing: With the eighth arc, we have a new dimension, the Speedworld. (Any similarities with the Metamoor or the plots of the first arc may not be mere coincidence.) I am VERY DISAPPOINTED at how the Witch fandom ignores this world to give more attention to other realms like Meridian.Don't get me wrong, I love everything they do and I'm always keeping an eye on what they create. But everyone gets so caught up in the Meridian-Arkhanta-Basiliade-Kandrakar axis that they forget the whole Speedworld plot; that has a world submerged in the Earth; a kingdom where you can tame magical creatures; a world like ours, but more advanced and with magic, and everyone admires the guardians... I think it's a shame that people ignore all of this.

I plan to bring more material here that I'm gathering as I read the issues.

Longer text than I wanted and I think it might have been confusing, but I wish I could say that.

Alright people let’s do it, I’m curious:

Reblog for sample size!

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked