#BEAT HIS ASSSSSSSS

[storge]

it was in that moment he knew....

The Double (2024) 1.08

[spidrgrl]

What are your thoughts on caliborn

To be honest, I never really knew the guy personally until now (we have a Caliborn in sys), but my opinion has mainly stayed the same!

As a character, one in Homestuck no less, he's actually written SURPRISINGLY well. No joke, this is one of the few in Homestuck that's written in a smart way. He symbolizes the toxic side of the fandom pretty well, he's comedy gold if I'm being honest, he's a good villain, and he's not incorrigible or anything. Does that make sense???????? And the only thing that's really terrible about him is the whole sexism part, which actually fits his character? Call me crazy but I think it fits his character since he's written to be an out of control, toxic teen boy that has NO clue what he's doing. It's not an unnecessary gross thing that absolutely soils his reputation (see Doc Scratch, Meenah, Cronus, literally any of the trolls including me, etc), it's a genuine flaw this time!

I do think he deserved more development. He and his sister both should've had that right. Also, if they ever just retcon HS^2 like they should have a long time ago, HE should be the main villain. Everything in Homestuck sets him up to be that! Jane shouldn't be a dictator when there's LITERALLY all you could ever want in a villain RIGHT THERE.

Knowing him though is slightly different.

I first heard about him from John when all of us that survived were all together. He told me about an annoying guy who very clearly didn't mature and a bunch of other details, but pointed out that he was green and that he beat his assssssss. I told him I was proud of him for that, and there wasn't really any more talk of him besides that, at least not to me.

He was an insignificant prick until, woah, hold up, there's a guy screaming on the top of his lungs about wanting to be the host and demanding to speak to anybody in charge! Honestly it's really funny seeing him run around, he hasn't been near front lately but like, I DO know that he got into Madoka Magica lately.

hegegge he's REALLY silly to me

[onlinegratitudes333]

I create my own reality, including how I am perceived and how I perceive myself. my narrative about myself is not a fixed thing and I can change it!!

So beginning today, along with my gratitudes I will record things I've done that are small wins, things I am proud of, etc

proud of:

thought reframing-- turning a small L into a positive W

going to therapy, reaching understandings and breakthroughs

staying sober; alternatively, not beating myself up for smoking weed

going to work, being productive, getting lots of things done

grateful for:

my boyfriend, ******* his phat assssssss

stoner culture... stoner comedies,.. smoking weed, how strong it is today ^__^

my skincare routine; the presence of routine in my life

dreaming; nice dreams

my parents; talking to my mom on the phone

napping

[fairlylocalkatiee]

My prom also sucked but TF I WILL BEAT HIS FRIENDS ASSSSSSSS FOR THAT BEHAVIOR

Hihi! I just wanna start by saying thank you for always answering everyone’s requests and having a positive attitude!

I myself have a request: You recently wrote a fic where it was nerdier!reader x basketball player!tyler Joseph, and they had a group project. May I request either a part two to that that is all about getting ready for prom, going to prom, etc? And if you’d rather not do a part two, can I request a separate prom fic? :) If you don’t have time, that’s perfectly alright! You’re a very skilled author, and I will appreciate anything that you write :D

School Project Part 2 - Tyler Joseph x Nerd!Reader

Warnings: Slight angst - argument and bullies

Word Count: 2641

A/N: This was fun to continue :) enjoy it!!

PART 1

The weeks leading up to prom were a whirlwind of excitement, nerves, and anticipation. After Tyler’s big promposal at the basketball game, I felt like I was walking on air. For the first time, I wasn’t just watching everything happen from the sidelines. I was part of the story now, and Tyler had made it clear that I wasn’t just a background character in his life anymore.

But as the initial excitement started to settle, the reality of the situation began to sink in. Prom. With Tyler Joseph. I didn’t know the first thing about prom, let alone how to prepare for it. Everyone around me seemed to have it all figured out—girls in my classes were constantly buzzing about their dresses, their hair appointments, spray tan appointments, and their dates. They all seemed so confident, like they had been planning for this night their whole lives.

And then there was me. Who never thought I’d be going to prom with anyone, let alone Tyler Joseph.  I wasn’t sure where to even start.

Thankfully, my best friend wasn't about to let me panic alone. The day after Tyler’s promposal, she cornered me in the cafeteria, her eyes practically glowing with excitement. I was alone–Tyler had decided to go back to his friends’ table where they could discuss basketball things.

“So,” she said, plopping down next to me with a wide grin. “You’re going to prom with Tyler. How does it feel to be living every girl’s dream?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “I keep waiting for him to tell me it was some sick  joke.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please. Did you see the way he looked at you during that game? There’s no way this is a joke. He’s into you.”

I shrugged, still trying to wrap my head around it. “I guess. But prom… I don’t even know where to start.”

Her grin widened. “Lucky for you, I’m an expert at all things prom. We’re going dress shopping this weekend, and you are not getting out of it.”

I groaned, but there was a smile on my face. “Fine, but I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she said, linking her arm through mine. “Trust me. By the time I’m done with you, Tyler won’t know what hit him.”

Saturday came around quickly, and before I knew it, we were standing in the middle of a bustling boutique, surrounded by racks of shimmering gowns in every color imaginable. My stomach twisted with nerves as I scanned the dresses, feeling completely out of my depth.

My best friend, on the other hand, was in her element. She immediately started pulling dresses off the racks, holding them up to me with a critical eye. “This one’s cute, but maybe a little too much sparkle. Oh, but this one—this would look amazing on you.”

I smiled weakly, letting her take the lead. After trying on several dresses that felt too over-the-top for me, she finally handed me a simple, elegant gown in a soft shade of lavender. “Try this one,” she said, her eyes twinkling. “I have a good feeling about it.”

I slipped into the dress, and when I stepped out of the dressing room, I barely recognized myself. The fabric flowed beautifully, hugging my figure in all the right places without feeling too flashy. The color complimented my skin tone, and for the first time, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I could pull this off.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me. “That’s the one,” she said, nodding in approval. “You look stunning.”

I turned to the mirror, feeling a strange mix of disbelief and excitement. I did look… different. Not like the quiet girl who sat in the back of the classroom. Not like the girl who was invisible to most people. I looked like someone who could actually go to prom with Tyler Joseph.

“Okay,” I said, smiling at my reflection. “This is it.”

She grinned, clapping her hands together. “Now all we need to do is figure out your hair, makeup, and nails. We’re going all out for this, Y/N.”

As the days passed, I found myself thinking more and more about what prom night would actually be like. Tyler and I had been texting more often, sometimes about school, sometimes about music, and sometimes just about random things. He was different in these moments—more relaxed, more real. It felt like I was finally getting to know the real Tyler, not just the jock everyone admired.

But there was still a part of me that couldn’t help but wonder what would happen after prom. Was this just a one-time thing? Would everything go back to the way it was after the night was over? Or was this the start of something more?

I tried not to overthink it, but it was hard not to let those thoughts creep in, especially when I saw Tyler with his friends at school. He was always surrounded by people, always the center of attention, and I couldn’t help but feel like I didn’t quite fit into that world. I was still the quiet one, the one who preferred to stay in the background.

But whenever Tyler caught my eye in the hallway or sent me a quick text during class, I felt a flicker of hope. Maybe things really were different now.

The night of prom arrived faster than I expected, and before I knew it, I was standing in front of the mirror, staring at my reflection as my best friend fussed over my hair.

“You look amazing,” she said, stepping back to admire her handiwork. My hair was styled in soft waves, with a few strands pinned back to frame my face. My makeup was simple but elegant, just enough to enhance my features without feeling too overdone.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies in my stomach. “I can’t believe this is actually happening.”

She smiled, giving me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. “Believe it. And just remember, Tyler asked you to prom. He could’ve asked anyone, but he chose you.”

I nodded, her words sinking in. I couldn’t deny the flutter of excitement in my chest. Tyler had chosen me. And tonight, I was going to let myself enjoy it.

A few minutes later, there was a knock at the door, and my heart skipped a beat. Tyler was here.

She grinned, practically bouncing with excitement. “Go get your man!”

“He’s barely my man,” I laughed and made my way to the door, my heart pounding in my chest. When I opened it, there he was, standing on the porch in a sleek black suit and a tie that matched my dress perfectly. He looked… stunning. But it wasn’t just his appearance that made my heart race—it was the way he looked at me when our eyes met, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

“Wow,” Tyler breathed, his gaze sweeping over me. “You look… incredible.”

I blushed, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

He grinned, holding out a small corsage of white roses. “For you.”

I took the corsage, my hands shaking slightly as I slipped it onto my wrist. “Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

Tyler smiled, his eyes softening as he took a step closer. “You ready?”

I nodded, feeling the butterflies in my stomach flutter wildly. “Yeah. Let’s do this.”

The drive to the venue was filled with nervous laughter and light conversation. Tyler was calm and easygoing, which helped ease some of my anxiety. Still, I couldn’t shake the feeling that tonight was going to be one of those moments that I’d remember forever.

When we arrived at the venue, the ballroom was already buzzing with excitement. The decorations were beautiful—twinkling lights, elegant drapes, and tables set with sparkling centerpieces. As we stepped inside, I couldn’t help but feel like I was walking into a dream.

Tyler’s hand found mine as we made our way through the crowd, and I felt a rush of warmth at the simple gesture. People were watching us, whispering, but for once, it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t the quiet girl fading into the background anymore. I was here, with Tyler, and I felt like I belonged.

The night moved in a blur of music, laughter, and dancing. Tyler was attentive, always checking in to make sure I was okay, and for the first time in a long time, I felt completely at ease. He wasn’t just the popular basketball star anymore—he was Tyler, the guy who made me laugh, who understood me, who made me feel seen.

At one point, Tyler suggested we meet up with his friends. I hesitated for a moment, but I didn’t want to seem nervous. After all, I was his date tonight. I nodded, and he led me toward the table where his basketball friends were gathered with their dates, all of them dressed to the nines in glittering gowns and perfectly tailored suits.

“Hey, man!” one of Tyler’s friends, Jason, called out, slapping Tyler on the back. His gaze slid over to me, a smirk forming on his lips. “So, you actually brought her?”

I stiffened, my fingers tightening around Tyler’s hand. The way Jason said it made my stomach twist, like I didn’t belong, like it was some big joke that I was here. I glanced at the other girls sitting at the table. Their eyes darted between me and Tyler, barely veiling their disdain.

“Yeah, this is Y/N,” Tyler said, his tone light but firm. He seemed unfazed, but I could feel the tension rising in my chest.

One of the girls leaned forward, her overly bright smile not quite reaching her eyes. “Oh, Y/N, isn’t it? We’ve, like, never really seen you around much. You’re... what, in the same English class as Tyler?” She let out a little laugh, as though that was somehow amusing.

“Yeah and history,” I replied quietly, my voice barely audible over the music. I could feel their eyes on me, judging, picking me apart.

Another one of Tyler’s friends, Ryan, chuckled. “I gotta admit, when Tyler said he was taking you, we thought he was kidding.”

Tyler let out an awkward laugh while the girls giggled, exchanging knowing looks. One of them whispered something to her friend that made her burst into laughter.

My heart sank. Suddenly, the dress that had made me feel beautiful, like I belonged, felt like a costume that didn’t fit. Like I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t. Their words were sharp, like tiny daggers, chipping away at the confidence I had felt earlier in the night.

I looked up at Tyler, hoping for some kind of reassurance. But he just gave an awkward smile, not quite knowing how to respond. He didn’t laugh, but he didn’t say anything to defend me either. He seemed uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure how to handle his friends’ comments.

Jason leaned in, his smirk growing wider. “I mean, no offense, but we figured it was just, like, a pity thing. You know, since you...”

That was the final blow. I felt my chest tighten, my eyes burning with unshed tears. I couldn’t stand there anymore. I couldn’t be the punchline of this cruel joke.

“I—I think I need some air,” I mumbled, pulling my hand out of Tyler’s grasp and turning away before the tears could fall.

“Y/N, wait!” Tyler called after me, but I didn’t stop. I pushed through the crowd, my vision blurred as I stumbled toward the exit. The laughter and music seemed distant, muffled by the pounding of my heart.

I made it outside, the cool night air hitting my face as the first tear slipped down my cheek. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold it together, but the hurt was too much. I had known deep down that I didn’t fit into Tyler’s world. I had known it from the start, but hearing his friends say it out loud—like I was some joke he couldn’t get out of—was too painful to bear.

I wiped at my cheeks furiously, angry at myself for crying, for letting them get to me. But no matter how hard I tried, the tears kept coming.

Footsteps echoed behind me, and before I could slip away into the shadows, Tyler was there, his face full of concern.

“Y/N,” he said softly, his voice filled with regret. “Please, don’t go.”

I shook my head, stepping back. “Tyler, just... don’t. I get it now. This whole thing was a mistake. I want to go home.”

He frowned, his brow furrowing. “What are you talking about?”

I looked away, unable to meet his eyes. “Your friends—they think I’m some charity case. And honestly, I’m starting to wonder if they’re right.”

Tyler’s face fell, his expression one of pure disbelief. “What? No, Y/N, that’s not true.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything back there?” I asked, my voice cracking. “You just stood there while they made me feel like a joke.”

He stepped closer, his eyes searching mine. “Because I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t expecting them to act like that, and I—I should’ve said something. I’m sorry. But I swear, Y/N, I didn’t ask you because I felt bad for you. I asked you because I wanted to. Because I like you.”

I blinked, not sure I had heard him correctly. “You… like me?”

He nodded, his gaze intense. “Yes. I’ve liked you for a while now. I just didn’t know how to show it. I thought asking you to prom was my way of finally telling you. And tonight… you’ve been amazing. I’m sorry my friends acted like jerks. They don’t know you like I do.”

I swallowed hard, my heart still aching but starting to soften at his words. “But why didn’t you defend me?”

Tyler ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated with himself. “I know I messed up. I didn’t handle it right, and I’m sorry. But I’m here now, and I want to make this right. Please, don’t let them ruin tonight for us.”

I hesitated, my emotions still swirling, but the sincerity in his eyes made me pause. He wasn’t like them. He had never treated me like they did.

Tyler reached out, gently taking my hand. “Y/N, I asked you to prom because I wanted you by my side. Not because of what anyone else thinks. I’m sorry for what they said, but I don’t care what they think. I care about you.”

His words broke through the walls I had built up, and I felt the tears fall again, but this time they weren’t from hurt. They were from the overwhelming relief that he wasn’t like his friends, that this night wasn’t a cruel joke after all.

“Tyler…” I whispered, my voice trembling.

Before I could say anything else, he closed the distance between us, his hand cupping my cheek as he leaned in and kissed me. It was soft and sweet, but there was something more—something that made my heart race and my knees weak.

When we pulled back, Tyler rested his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my skin. “I’m sorry,” he murmured again, his voice full of emotion. “But I’m not letting you go.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of his words settle over me like a blanket of warmth. I wasn’t a joke to him. I wasn’t invisible anymore. And as we stood there under the stars, I realized that this night wasn’t just a dream—it was real. Tyler was real. And maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of something I had never imagined for myself.

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[stark-illerbase]

The way Jon looks at Baelish is a fucking mood

[driversmutbucket]

Kitten XI

Hey! It’s me! Sorry about the impromptu hiatus, but, ya know, life.

Kylo Ren AU x Reader

Warning: NSFW, minimal plot - maximum smut, eating assssssss, spanking (with belt), oral sex.

💋💋💋💋

1 year later

You pulled the fridge door open with such force that Kylo looked over from where he was making a coffee.

Grabbing a bottle of Pinot Gris from in the door you were aware, in your peripheral vision, of Kylo’s eyebrows shooting into his hairline.

“Not this time then?” He asked gently.

“Obviously!” You snapped, a surge of venomous anger washing over you.

You pulled out a wine glass and slammed the cupboard door shut.

“Kitten.”

The tenderness in his voice was all it took. You burst into tears- guttural, gasping sobs.

“I don’t-...why-...” you tried.

His arms were around you within seconds, pulling you into the warmth of his chest, hands rubbing soothing circles on your back.

—

Infertility was a bitch.

You never had any indication, apart from being the wrong side of 30, that you would have any trouble conceiving.

There was nothing wrong per se, with either of your reproductive systems. It just wasn’t happening.

You had tried for 6 months au natural.

Now, you had a regime of pills and injections that had taken over your life.

Sex had become monotonous.

You had never been more miserable.

—

“I can’t do this anymore.” You sniffed, “I feel sick all the time, my moods are completely erratic, Kylo, I can’t….i’m so…. ” tears were threatening to spill out of your eyes again.

You were snuggled up on the sofa, Kylo stroking your hair, your head resting against his chest, the beating of his heart calming you.

“You’re done, I can see that, it’s ok,” He soothed, “i want my happy wife back.”

“You’re not disappointed?” You asked in a small voice.

“Not in you, never in you, babe, but I’m really fucking certain there is no God.”

You snorted, breaking into a small smile.

—

It was like you both breathed an unspoken sigh of relief, after putting conception on hold. You gleefully packed away a pharmacy worth of medications and ovulation strips and deleted the multiple apps off your phone. Good riddance.

It wasn’t that you weren’t sad, of course you were, but there was also a part of you that was content with letting the universe decide.

Now you were on a mission to get your sex life back. The one that had been smothered under expectation, ovulation cycles and pharmaceuticals.

You hadn’t had sex in 2 weeks. The longest you had ever gone in your relationship. There was a sense that perhaps you were both decompressing from the intensity of the last 6 months. The clinical, downright boring, let’s-get-this-done sex to try and conceive. And my god, quantity was certainly not better than quality.

Tonight you were making an effort, having even finished work early and had your hair done. It had been woefully neglected.

The idea had been sparked by a dress in the back of your closet that you had caught sight of this morning. You had worn it the first time you met Kylo. It was black, tight in all the right places with a plunging neckline, surprisingly it was in one piece, despite being almost ripped from your body that night. You smirked at the memory.

—

Pulling open the door to the bar, you scanned the dim room for your husband.

You spotted him in a back corner booth, in head to toe black. His handsomeness still gave you butterflies. The way his dress shirt buttons strained just a fraction due his broad physique and his ability to dwarf the majority of furniture made you bite your lip and squeeze your thighs.

Kylo looked up and saw you when you were a few feet from the table.

He froze, slowly placing down his drink, jaw slackened.

Good.

Hair freshly styled, a fair whack of makeup and a sexy outfit had you feeling like a new woman.

You had forgone underwear, the bodice of the dress was tight enough to squish your breasts in place, the plunge of the neckline ending a few inches above your belly button. Long sleeves and a knee length hem kept the garment in the realm of tasteful. You opted for black stilettos, even though they were hell to walk in, you knew he loved them.

“Jesus Christ.” He half choked as you say down next to him.

His eyes lingered briefly on your cleavage before drifting up to the dainty gold necklace he had given you on your wedding night.

“Hello, Sir.” You purred, unable to suppress a grin.

His eyes flashed in acknowledgement as he recognized the dress you were wearing.

“Kitten.” His voice was almost a growl.

You picked up the drink he had pre-ordered you, sipping and meeting his searing gaze.

You leaned into him, placing a hand on his thigh,so your lips were right beside his ear.

“When I have finished this drink, I want you to take me home, and fuck me like you did before you knew my name.” You whispered, grazing your lips along his jaw and placing a quick kiss on his lips.

A smirk slowly appeared on his face as you took another sip of your drink, watching him.

“That depends.” He mused, picking up his glass and swirling the dregs of an old fashioned.

You raised an eyebrow, as his hand trailed up your thigh.

“Are you going to be a good girl?”

He felt you clench, his large hand was rubbing soft circles at the top of your thigh. His smirk only got bigger.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded.

“Then be a good girl and finish that drink, before I get us arrested for indecent exposure.” He quipped, before draining his cup.

You all but gulped down the cocktail.

You walked with Kylo to the bar, his hand rested on the small of your back.

As he handed over his card to pay, the hand drifted down and squeezed your butt, before patting it softly.

You looked up at him with a grin, “subtle.”

“Don’t get mouthy with me, Kitten.” He warned in a low murmur.

Entwining hands, you walked out into the night air to begin the short walk home.

-

You had walked as fast as your stilettos had allowed. Kylo was near striding, which had you giggling and cursing as you tried to keep his pace.

“Thank god!” You gasped, staggering into the elevator, behind Kylo, slightly puffed.

Kylo leant against the opposite wall of the elevator, eyes raking over your body.

“I’m not wearing any underwear.” You offered cheekily.

His eyes snapped up to yours almost in time with the elevator opening at your floor.

You exited before him with a grin, hightailing it to your door.

You toyed with his belt, grazing his growing bulge with your fingers as he fumbled with lock on the front door.

“Fucking brat, you have no patience.” He hissed, finally getting the door unlocked and pushing you inside.

“Says you, who dragged me home.” You countered, looking up at him.

He cupped your jaw and ran his thumb roughly across your lips. “You better be naked by the time I get to the bedroom Kitten. But leave those shoes on.” He pushed his thumb into your mouth, and you sucked it greedily.

“I need to think about how I’m going to punish you for being so mouthy.” He outright grinned as he pulled his hand away and turned you in the direction of the bedroom, smacking your ass.

You walked with an exaggerated sway of your hips. Pulling down the zip of your dress as you went. You could feel his eyes burning into your back.

-

Walking into the bedroom you kicked off the dress and bent yourself over, resting your elbows on the bed. You knew your legs looked great in these heels.

You were wet from the anticipation alone.

You shivered with excitement as you heard his footsteps.

You could feel him behind you, heard his belt being undone. You stayed still and quiet, like a good girl.

You jerked as the cold leather of his belt was dragged over your cunt, he slapped your clit with the doubled-over belt. Not hard, but enough to make you gasp.

“Soaking.” Kylo murmured.

He cracked the belt on your ass, you yelped at the sharp pain that quickly gave way to a wave of pleasure.

“Good girl.”

Another. You didn’t yelp this time, just uttered a guttural moan.

It seemed his patience was limited, you heard the belt be dropped on the floor before he took an ass cheek in each hand and squeezed.

“Kitten, you look so perfect bent over for me in those heels, this peachy ass- fuck!” His voice was rough.

“Thank you, Si- oh god!”

Kylo buried his face between your legs. You peeked back, he was fully clothed, on his knees, and you doubted you had seen anything more erotic.

He ran his hands up and down your legs, as his tongue probed your entrance.

You pushed back against his face unconsciously.

His hands traveled up and kneaded your butt cheeks again, spreading them, your whimpers of pleasure morphed to filthy moans as his tongue dragged upwards and he must have been spurred on, because he began to eat your ass with enthusiasm.

Your legs were shaking, you hadn’t experienced pleasure like this in, what? Months? God, you had forgotten how good it could be.

You whimpered as he pulled away.

“Lay down, baby girl, give those legs a rest, you’ve done so well, Kitten.” He murmured, guiding your shaking body to the bed, “need to make you cum before I fuck you.”

Laying on your back you had hardly caught your breath before Kylo pushed your legs open again and wrapped his plush lips around your clit.

You arched your back with a moan as he plunged two fingers into your warmth and sucked your clit.

“Ohfuckohgodbabyplease!”

Another finger and a subtle change of angle had you orgasming so hard your eyes watered and a rather large gush-

“Holy shit!” You yelped.

“That was…...so hot.” Kylo said huskily.

His pupils were blown, hair rumpled, and he was still fully clothed as he looked at you from between your legs.

“A lot of pent up orgasms.” You mumbled sheepishly.

You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you had climaxed - as sad as that was.

“I know babe, I’m so sorry, fuck, we just…..” he sighed with a look of anguish.

“It’s ok, it’s over with.” You reassured him. “Now can you please hurry up and get naked?”

The smirk returned, “I’ve missed this.”

Kylo placed some quick kisses down your thighs before standing up and beginning to strip off his clothes.

You watched, propping yourself up on your elbows, smuggly thinking, that is my husband.

“Are you gonna let me ride you?” You asked, eyes fixated on Kylo’s cock as it was released from the confinement of his trunks.

You had had enough missionary let’s-get-this-done sex to last a life time.

He didn’t answer, instead, he sat against the headboard. You crawled over to him, as he slowly pumped his cock.

You straddled him eagerly, batting his hand away from his cock and quickly replacing it with your own.

He cupped your butt as you hovered, lining yourself up.

“God, I love you.” He breathed, eyes roaming your body.

You beamed at him before easing down onto his cock with a sharp inhale.

“Mmmmph fuck! So good.” You kissed his lips gently as you rolled your hips experimentally, “I love you too.”

He squeezed the flesh of your buttocks, helping you fuck yourself on his cock.

You buried your hands in his hair, and kissed him. You hadn’t kissed with urgent, fiery lust in weeks. Within seconds you were moaning into each other’s mouths as your tongues did a well rehearsed dance. Nipping and sucking each other’s lips as your movements on his cock became more frantic.

“Not gonna last.” Kylo panted, pulling away from your mouth.

“Don’t care.” You whimpered, “please touch me.”

One of his hands moved to your front and dipped in between your bodies, seeking your sensitive clit.

“There! Hnnngh!” You cried as he began rubbing tight circles.

Your forehead dropped to rest on his shoulder as you felt his hips stutter, he came with a groan beneath you. You placed little kisses down his neck as he let his head rest back against the headboard.

The second orgasm that washed over you was less intense but just as magical, your toes curling while you made little noises of pleasure into Kylo's neck.

-

“We are never having sex for the sake of it again,” You mumbled, snuggling into your spent husband, “not when it can be like that.”

“Never.” He vowed.

———

Tag list: @reyloaddict55 @candycanes19 @jediminddicks1000 @finn-ray-nal-beads @maybe-your-left @thegreenmatt @morby @sydneyssmut @contesa-lui-alucard  @millenialcatlady

[w-h-4-t]

Oh Sweet Maker, there’s two of them

Basically @mfmoonbear​ has an OC (an elf mage named Yelisavita Lavellan) and so do I (an Qunari elf mage named Fen’Harel Adaar). Now they’re here together in a story. A n g e r y co-Inquisitor AU here. Rivalry +100.

They get along. Sometimes.

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

***

Due to its Andrastian nature, Skyhold was more than just a battle fortress. It was also a tribute to the Maker; the garden was often peaceful as the Chantry mothers swung censures while muttering the Chant of Light. However, Skyhold was also a refuge for all kind of people, including the polytheists of the Dales. 

“DIRTHAMEN’S SHADOWY NUTSACK WHAT THE FUCK”

One such example rang through the courtyard as four pairs of feet kicked up dust mid-run. There was a race happening, as usual, between two very competitive people, both dubbed Inquisitor. Yelisavita and Fen’Harel got along well enough at first. Though their time together in Haven was drought with cat fighting they grew to mutually respect each other.

That, however, did nothing to stop their competitive nature. 

It all started as a simple ‘race you to the War Room’ which was turning into an all-out mage battle royale. Both Harel and Yel made their way up the steps leading to the Main Hall, shoving each other before Harel caught the small elf in a headlock.

“YOU CHEATING BASTARD!” she screamed, making her face as red as her Valaslin, “LET ME GO!!!”

Harel switched her tactic, looping her arms around Yel before throwing her from the steps, “Make a barrier this time else you’ll get some bad bruises!” 

Giggling like an ass, Harel continued up the stairs, hopping over several steps at a time before she felt something cold take hold of her legs. At once, the Qunari elf listed forward before catching herself, attempting to yank her legs from its new icy prison.

“You little fuckin-” Harel started.

“Fucking what? Cheater? I didn’t cheat first, remember?” Yel interjected with a smile as she jogged back up the steps, taking her time before stopping by Harel, “Aw is the Dread Wolf stuck? Do you need help puppy?”

A menacing stare shot from the half-Qunari as her body began shaking. Soon enough, the ice began hissing as little wisps of flames licked out from Harel’s skin, eating away the ice.

“I’m a mage too, you fuck,” Harel growled

Yel simply smiled, coating her hand in a slick sheet of ice before reaching up to pat the angry co-Inquisitor’s cheek, “Uh-huh, I see that. Have fun with that ice, it’s extra reinforced for shitheads like you.”

Flinching at the cold touch, Harel pulled back before focusing to burn the ice away; Yel jogged up the stairs, only turning around for one second to mouth I win.

Oh that fucking does it.

Summoning every drop of magic in her bones, Harel blasted the ice chunks away, scaring quite a few people and earning a far away cheer from someone in particular.

“BEAT HER ASS!!!!” Sera yelled from the tavern rooftop, “SORRY YEL BUT I’M ROOTIN’ FER THE TALL ONE!!!”

Hearing the aftermath, Yel turned around slowly, green eyes shining with surprise. Harel shook the chips of ice from her feet before giving her signature wide-eyed, wide grin. 

“You heard her,” Harel said as she began clomping up the stairs, “I’m gonna beat YOUR ASSSSSSSS!!!!”

Now,  Yelisavita was a powerful and highly dangerous mage. She survived a great deal of trauma and death. Crawling out of Haven’s ruins, she proved she was indeed walking in the Maker’s Light despite being an Alienage elf. 

In that moment, however, Yel was a fennec in the eyes of a hyena. One would think she’d be careful now that she’d angered the other mage.

“Says the idiot caught in a simple ice spell.” Yel antagonized before leaping away, breaking into a sprint. 

Summoning another bout of magic, Harel brought forth ice, Faade Stepping in a blue blur past the stairs and into the Main Hall. Unfortunately for Harel’s dumbass, Yel had caught on, Fade Stepping in tandem past her. 

Varric had to hold down his many Merchant’ Guild letters as the two flew past, his hands gripping the many pages tightly, “HEY! Can’t a dwarf do some paper mache in peace?”

Back to shoving each other, Harel and Yel scrapped with Yel’s hands around Harel’s horns and Harel’s own trying to push the elf away.

“NO!” they shouted together at Varric, on the same page for once.

The black bones of Harel’s horns began to smoke as Yel funnelled fire into her hands.

‘YOU LITTLE SHIT!” Harel said before finally pushing her off, “Did you just try to burn off my fucking horns??!!!”

Harel in turn pushed the office doors open, noticing the absence at the desk before breaking into a sprint. Kicking in the office exit, Harel opened the door just in time to see Yel cracking the War Room entry open. 

Using the opportunity, Yel took off once more, diving through the Ambassador’s office towards the War Room.

“GET BACK HERE!!!!”

Instead of saying some crude quip, Harel continued running, pulling magic from her body once more to Fade Step, meeting Yel halfway as she flew forward in a blue streak. The Alienage elf turned back at the last second, her green eyes once again wide in surprise as Harel leapt forward, grabbing Yel and sending them both tumbling through the door. They rolled, pulling each other’s hair and scrabbling like wet cats before someone cleared their throat.

“Good day, Inquisitors,” Cullen said, raising his voice to cut off the tail end of their argument, “I see everyone is in high spirits.”

For a moment, the two stayed the way they were with Yel’s hands around Harel’s throat and Harel’s hand pushing Yel’s face back. 

Releasing her grip, Yel pushed Harel’s face back, shoving her into the ground before getting up. She gave a great smile as she dusted herself off, moving to take her place at the War Table. 

“Good day, Commander,” she said with a smile, a light blush painting pink shades around her Valaslin. 

Cullen smiled back, gripping the pommel of his sword before looking away, also blushing just a bit.

“FUCKIN-” Harel shouted as she moved off the ground, interrupting what was supposed to be a lovely moment, “I will put my foot so far up your a-”

Another throat cleared, this time, from the very end of the War Table. 

“Harel,” Josephine assuaged, “I will kindly ask that you show a modicum of decorum. Thank you.”

Scrunching up her face, Harel looked between Yel and Josephine, at first settling on the elf’s smug grin before staring at the lovely Antivan. 

“Lucky little fuck,” Harel muttered as she took her place next to Yel, “Damn fuckin lucky that Josie’s here or else I’d-”

“You’d what? Cry at me, wolf?” Yel replied, her smug grin only growing wider.

And once again, the flames of rivalry grew, fanning into an inferno as static crackled in Harel’s palms and fire spun around Yel’s body. 

“YOU ARE NOT CHILDREN” Leliana shouted, clapping her hands, her eyes glistening like vicious sapphires, “So for Andraste’s sake, stop fighting like infants! Behave yourself!”

Yel and Harel differed in many ways but there was one thing they agreed on. Leliana was scary and when that Orlesian had enough of their shit, it was time to stand straight, shut up and do their job.

“E-emerald Graves,” Harel stuttered, looking at Yel, “Thinking we could go to the Graves to do...do that thing…”

Yel nodded before staring at the map, trying her best not to look up at Leliana, “We should go to the Hissing Waste’s actually but sure….sure….The Graves sounds...important too.” 

At the opposite end of the table, Josephine sidled up to Cullen, finishing the last flourish of her letter before whispering, “ Our paramours continue to be interesting, do they not?” she dips the quill in ink, writing another line, “However, it would be preferable if they did not fight so much. It is indeed troubling for our reputation when they scrap in the public eye.”

Cullen sighs as he looks at Yel, watching her brush back a strand of strawberry blonde hair before pushing a map marker away from Harel’s hand, “ They’re not so bad, Ambassador. My sisters and I fought in a similar way, but because we hated each other. I think they’ll be fine.”

Turning away from her clipboard, Josephine looked at Harel who continued trying to pick up the map marker, only to have it shoved away, “Perhaps you are correct. Maybe they are growing to be friends.”

“IF YOU PUSH THAT MARKER ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR ON ANDRUIL’S SWEATY TIT’S I’LL SKIN YOU ALIVE!!!!”

“Oh, you want to lose again, pup? Don’t go crying to your prissy little bedbuddy -I mean no disrespect Ambassador- ” Yel stops for a moment, looking at Josephine before turning to Harel once more, “when I tan your hide faster than you can say Mythal.”

“Inquisitor-” Cullen starts before Harel shoots a glare at him.

“Don’t even try it, Curly!” 

“DON’T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT!” Yel shouts back, giving the taller half-elf a shove.

And once more, a fight broke out in the War Room as all three Advisors watched the pair roll around on the floor. One would say they were akin to a wolf and a lioness fighting when in fact they were just two aggressive nugs duking it out.

Today was just one of those days where they didn’t get along more than usual. Hopefully, soon they’d be back to some kind of mutual idiocy with Yel on Harel’s shoulders, steering the half-Qunari around by the horns before they’d both fall down some hill.  

Josephine and Cullen, though different in many aspects both thought the same thing as they watched their other halves fight.

Maker help me and my competitive girlfriend. 

[masterserris]

FUNERAL FOR A MAGICIAN     Pt.5: The Oil

They have decided to free this world of Ultron’s tyranny! But who else is along for the ride? How did things go so wrong, and which familiar faces will appear? Mysterio and Spider-Man are in dire straights, but help can come from even the unlikeliest of places!

Characters: Neo Mysterio (Quentin Beck), Doc Ock (Otto Octavius), Spider-Man (Peter Parker), Alexandria Beck (Alex), Maria Beck, Sandman (Flint Marko), Chameleon, Electro, Rhino, Terrax the Tamer, Ultron, UU Otto Octavius, UU Electro, UU Spider-Man (Peter Parker), UU Mysterio, UU Curt Connors

UU = Ultron Universe

Warnings: Explicit gore and death, violence, mentions of past abuse, mental illness, physical illness

^These warnings are here for the story as a whole. If you get invested by reading a less graphic chapter, then be prepared for the warnings above in other parts!!

Mysterio is the quick thinker of the pair. Not to say, Parker isn’t, however when it comes to high-stress circumstances, he can melt under the pressure and make rash choices from time to time. Neo, however, often remains cold. To keep up appearances, he had to learn to cast aside his anxieties long ago. Or rather bottle them up in an unhealthy manner. For as weak and pathetic as Beck was, Neo Mysterio is now a super villain whose masterminding and cunning is unto a class of his own.

It was Beck who teleported next to the blue clad Spider-Man of this Ultron infested universe and without a sound, motioned for him to remain silent and that he meant no harm.

‘This universe’s Spider-Man is smarter than my own,’ Beck mused to himself, as the blue Parker nodded silently and followed him to a closed off alley; Neo’s Parker trailing behind. Once they were sure no one could eavesdrop, the native Spider-Man spoke.

UU Spider-Man: “I have been looking for you for hours now. I’m quite impressed with how well you’ve both been keeping out of sight after your... encounter.”

Neo Mysterio: “I’m surprised you didn’t outright attack me when I appeared next to you, in all honesty.”

UU Spider-Man: “Well, I knew for a fact you weren’t my universe’s Mysterio... That and you haven’t set off my spider sense the entire time you’ve been in this world. Although I wouldn’t put it past you to also have way to block it.”

Mysterio: “Hm. You certainly are brighter than most...”

Spider-Man: “Yes, Beck’s illusions and tech are no joke, but that’s besides the point. As you already seem to know... We aren’t from here. We are trying to get back to our own universe, and we could use your help. Could you fill us in on this whole Ultron situation you got here? And any idea on how to deal with it or at the very least work around it? How did this even happen?”

UU Spider-Man: “Hmm.. well, it started several years back. Hank Pym created an AI that could help serve humanity as an impartial police force. The problem was that Ultron was erratic. It took little time for the program to take hold of New York. At first, everything was alright. Ultron helped me and other heroes take down plenty of villains. Then... Then the Sinister Six happened.”

Neo Mysterio: “Explain,” he simply commanded in a brisk tone as he crossed his arms.

UU Spider-Man: “You see, I had fought the group of them plenty of times before, but now Ultron was here. And the AI was.... vicious. Merciless... it...” 

He trailed off as a drone flew by far overhead.

UU Spider-Man: “It still isn’t safe to talk outdoors. Especially about... that. Follow me, I know a place were we can discuss things further. And... meet some friends.”

Curious, Parker followed his azure counter part, while Mysterio remained apprehensive. Something... wasn’t quite right. Regardless, Beck trailed along as well, tensions rising in his mind. He wasn’t going to let his guard down at all.

Soon, the three of them arrived at the back entrance to a rundown condo. Making their way inside, there was a make shift lab of sorts. A staging ground. Sitting at a desk was none other than this universe’s version of Dr. Octopus.

He turned to face them, but what Beck beheld was a shadow of his friend. Otto looked immensely tired and beleaguered. He had small scars crisscrossing his hands and face, grey streaks running through his hair. What struck Beck the most was the profound sense of loss and grief in Octavius’s eyes.

Along with Octavius, was the Lizard. He seemed fairly calm and rational, albeit still animalistic. Curt Connors was in control of himself, but it was clear that his transformation took its toll. Connors merely watched silently, content with observing.

UU Doc Ock: “...You’ve found them. How fortunate..!” 

With some effort, Otto rose from his seat and managed to make his way across the room. He had a slight limp from what was presumed to be a past injury. His mechanical arms were no where to be found, however he still had the original main harness grafted to his flesh, unable to be removed. He extended his hand out to Spider-Man, who accepted, and then to Mysterio.

Beck stared for a second before regaining himself and took Otto’s hand. A heavy sense of sorrow filled his heart as Otto spoke once more.

UU Doc Ock: “It has been ages since I’ve seen you, old friend... I... know it isn’t really you, not the you I knew... But still... I have struggled to move past the day... Your life was cut short. I’m glad to meet you.”

Mysterio: “Explain,” he said in a quiet, yet startlingly harsh voice, withdrawing his hand.

UU Doc Ock: “... Ultron came for us. The entire Sinister Six. All we could do was run. You... Died trying to help me get away after Ultron savagely attacked and..... beat me... The others, like Electro... were captured. In fact, Ultron still has many of the Avengers and various super villains locked away.”

Mysterio: “I..... see.” 

Beck accepted that response rather well, but it did nothing to lighten the mood.

Spider-Man: “Hey other-me, if... You don’t mind me asking? Why are you working with Doc Ock? Because of Ultron, of course, right? And... if you are comfortable with talking about it, what happened... to your arms, Doc? And, the... Lizard?”

UU Doc Ock: “Simply put, Ultron tore them out as he forced Max Dillon to electrocute me. I have.... extensive nerve damage from it. I haven’t be able to make a new set of arms that didn’t result in... intense pain. Spider-Man and I had joined forces some time ago because of this threat. Besides, I’m in no condition to be his enemy anymore. We’ve moved past all of that.”

Spider-Man: “Oh geez... I’m.. Sorry, I didn’t realize...”

Doc waived his hand.

UU Doc Ock: “I wouldn’t have said a word if I hadn’t come to terms with it. You asked and I answered, think nothing of it. As for the lizard...”

Curt: “I ammmmm in controllllll of myssssselffff. I had become thissssss beasssst long ago. After Ultron came, Octaviussssss my old friend, offereddddddd me a place to hide and continue myyyyyyyy ressssssearch in peace. Spider-Man hadddddd alssssssso been helping me get by before handddddddd. Ultron hasssss targeted me assssssss well. We all hate that machineeeeeee”

UU Spider-Man: “We have been trying to counter Ultron from here for awhile now, but it has been.....”

UU Doc Ock: “Rather futile.”

The blue Spider-Man nodded. 

UU Spider-Man: “But I suspect... You have a plan to get home?”

Spider-Man: “We were working on that. We... would like to help in fighting Ultron. It just wouldn’t be feasible to escape with those drones still flying around. It’s the right thing to do, anyways. Also, we’ve scouted the place, and I think we might have a strategy.”

UU Spider-Man: “Well, be my guest. What’s our plan?”

Neo Mysterio: “MY plan is to draw Ultron’s fire. I will sneak into the facility as my illusions and robots confound him. I will shut down his systems by any means necessary as my world’s Spider-Man will take the parts we need to leave this place.”

Curt: “Ssssssoundssssss like sssssssuicide to meeeeee.....”

UU Doc Ock: “That’s... extremely dangerous. I may not really know you, but are you sure you can do such a thing? Your cape is already full of bullet holes. You’d willingly go into a death trap like that? And expect to come out the other side unscathed?”

Neo Mysterio: “I am confident in my abilities. Although an extra pair of hands in the form of this worlds Spider-Man would be welcome...”

UU Spider-Man: “I will help. But if you make any wrong moves, if you abandon me, if you put us at too much risk, I won’t hesitate to deck you. Doc and Connors will stay put. They are in no condition to fight. Plus there is plenty they can do from here.”

Neo Mysterio: “Fair.”

UU Doc Ock: “There is something you should know before you go. Remember how I mentioned how Ultron captured Electro? He’s... He’s using Electro like a battery now. It’s constant torture. That way the hub is disconnected from the city power grid. It’s a self sustaining fortress. You must free him, it may be the only way to permanently defeat Ultron. Electro can fry all of his systems if he were saved. Two birds with one stone.”

Curt: “It issssss no way to liveeeeee. Trapped assssssss a tool for a cruel beinggggg,” he said shook his reptilian head sadly.

Spider-Man: “Right. We’ll save everyone from that murderous machine! We should go immediately.”

Neo Mysterio: “You aren’t coming, remember? You have to grab the parts, you idiot. Besides myself, you’re the only one here who knows what we need, and I have to go fight Ultron. At least one of us needs to get back home, that’s how it is.”

Spider-Man: “Y-yeah... I forgot... whoops.”

Neo Mysterio: “Besides, it’s a bad idea to go running out now. We should carefully plan out our attack and rescue attempt. Plus I have to calibrate my machines for this to work properly. It should only take a few hours at most. You need to rest your leg, anyways.”

Spider-Man: “O-oh... r-right..”

Sheepishly, Parker remembers the wound he received not long ago from Ultron’s drones. It would be a bad idea for him to storm the base in such a condition.

Curt: “Let meeeee get ssssssome painkillerssssss for you....”

Spider-Man: “T-thank you, Dr. Connors...”

Neo set to work as Parker rested. Together, they crafted a plan of attack. However, Mysterio had his own hidden plan in mind. If this was going to work, it was going to be done his way. They just would never understand.

There must always be...

a sacrifice.

[heytherejones]

I honestly for sure think jug and chic are gonna get into a fight and jug is going to fuckin beat his assssssss for makin his girl uncomfortable

[adampage]

Ride Along with the Good Brothers ft. Real Finn and Cardboard AJ

“I wish it was the real AJ” - soft boy finn

“come here you little bearded baby” - karl @ cardboard aj

“one year and a half in the wwe, we’ve done 3 ride alongs, 6 shirts, 3 action figures, and we’ve won one (1) match” - karl, while finn giggles

“and almost the anticipation of it happening, was almost cooler than, it happening” - finn on the balor club uniting (though, finn, sweetie, it’s bc they just did it as opposed to making it a cool story bc CREATIVE SUCKS)

*steve austin voice “watch this sonnn of aaaaa bitchhhhhh”

“if this truck doesn’t stop blinkin’ at me i’m gonna have to come over and WHIP HIS ASSSSSSSS”

*braun voice* “i killed that deer”

“you didn’t kill that deer, braun”

“i sure did kill that deer, yes i did!!”

“go to wweshop.com, buy some balor shoyts, buy some gallows and anderson shoyts”

“be quiet back there ya bearded little baby” - @we-work-hard they said that one just for you tho

*aj voice* “shut up gallows or i’ll give ya a styles clash or a *shoddy irish accent* phenomenal forearm!”

*takes a bite out of a fake burger* “anyy y’allll single?” - finn as karl

“people think you’re cool, man, you’re a f***ing hill billy” - finn dragging karl

*talking about the demon paint* “yea you beat the shit out of everybody. didn’t you beat uncle allen?” - karl (HE CALLED AJ UNCLE ALLEN I JUST)

*aj voice* “aw man freakin i wanna rematch” - luke

*aj voice* “i’m the real top guy in the bullet club!” - karl

“hey, remember you peed on my laptop?” - finn to karl

*cue inevitable man stories about poop*

“that’s when you f****ed that goose” - karl

i’m dying @ the japanese girl wanting to touch the abs of the irish god

and so much more but like i’m dead

[littlenymphie]

first: ahsoka tano

current: this fucking asshole

AHSOKA BEAT HIS ASSSSSSSS OKAYYYYY LIKE SHE SOOOO CAN NO QUESTIONNNNNNNNNNNN NONE WHATSOEVERRRRR im rooting for her. deck him. a lot.

huh…..i see ive kept the blue eyed alien theme going on in a way sooooo…….waIT THEY WERE BOTH BANISHED TOO AHAHAHHAHA WAIT DOESNT TH OR HAVE TWO SWORDS IN RAGNAROK I—

thanks for the tag!!! @give-me-a-moose!!!! im leaving mine opennnnn. actually if you see this on ur dash u gotta participate or else u wont get dreams of ur current crush tht is all thank u

Imagine your first fictional crush fighting your current fictional crush...

I've seen this going on tik tok and tumblr

I literally learned to smile this way just because of Damon and so I can smile only in this half-smirk way now, it's more comfortable

First fictional crush:

Current fictional crush:

I wonder how that would go...

[marper-didnt-die-for-blecho]

Get this piece of shit off of my screen.

yes Archie beat his assssssss

[sleepykalena]

YASAAAASSSSSSSS. Cassian to Jyn for the writing prompts: 47. "When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.” pretty please and thank you! *triangulation salute*

“When I picture myself happy…it’s with you.”

Jyn eyed Cassian incredulously.

“Cassian, that’s a beer bottle.”

“I KNOW!” Cassian burst out, leaning back on the bar stool. “ButI’m so happy tonight, cuz thisalcoholssogoooood” he slurred. He poundedhis fist down at the bar in pure satisfaction at the last couple of syllables,but even Jyn couldn’t figure out how many words that was supposed to cover.

She smirked and looked forward as she took another swig of her own drink. Shewas glad to see him having a good time, and felt a deep sense of satisfactionknowing that she can now hold it over his head about what a lightweight he’sbecome since school demanded all his time and attention. It really was great tosee him smiling again after school and work had beat him down so much. Thefatigue in his eyes from this morning had disappeared completely as he lovinglycaressed his beer bottle and pressed the cool glass up to his cheek forcomfort.

Still though, that History of Intelligence Extraction Techniques class wasbrutal.

“Man, FUCK these guys, no one ever passes this stupid class, whichmeans-” he startled Jyn by grabbing her arm with one hand for emphasiswhile raising his other hand with the beer, “-either we’re all dumbfucks,or Draven can’t teach for shit! I’mma awesome student, it’s probly hizz fault!Stupid Draven.” He finally took another swig of his beer.

Jyn tried as hard as she could not to snort. She offered to take him out for drinksand snacks after she walked in on him looking crest-fallen at the final grades postedon his student account. It seemed to cheer him up a lot, but she suspected hejust needed company from someone other than his robotic housemate, Kay, whosupposedly passed Draven’s class with the “A” Cassian so badly wanted.

“’F all I’m worth is a C, may as well say ‘fuck it’ an’ live’little, right?! Like a ‘C’ student does.” She watched Cassian gulp down somemore of his beer.

This was Cassian’s first-ever “C” grade. Jyn didn’t have theheart to tell him that it still meant he passed the class and wouldn’t have totake a class with Draven ever again.“‘msssoooo pissed I gotta takehimagain nessstyear like how do you get somany classes t'teach when you’re sooooooo shitty anyway?!”Oh. Well then.Jyn gestured to the bartender for another round of shots and slid one toCassian.“Another shot!” she said. “For the future.”Cassian grabbed the shot glass a little too enthusiastically and let some ofthe vodka dribble down the inside of his wrist. Noticing this he brought hishand closer to his face and sloppily licked up and down his forearm at thedrippings. Jyn gulped at the sight and wondered just how long his tongueactually was.She quickly grabbed her shot to avoid detection and raised the glass. “Tothe future,” she declared and nodded.“FUTURE!” he exclaimed belatedly. Their glasses clinked and Cassianthrew his shot back with no hesitation. He shook his head wildly withsatisfaction, slamming the shot glass down at the bar, and Jyn noticed themovement of his tousled brown hair. It now looked extra fluffy after all thetimes he’s run his hands through it tonight in frustration.She wondered vaguely how the hair would feel between her fingers- if they’d besoft as a child’s or rougher from sweat from being out all day.If he weren’t in such a drunken state, she might have actually dared toinvestigate.Jyn shook the thought out of her head and shot a cheesy grin at Cassian.“Alright buddy, I think you’ve had enough. Let’s get you back home beforeyou pass out at the bar cuz I can’t carry your dead ass back to yourplace.” She put a few bills in a dry glass and raised it to the bartender.The bartender nodded once and turned back to her other drinks.Jyn turned back to Cassian and found him pouting at her. His lips werenaturally thin but, like this, she felt like a kid staring through a candy shopwindow, and his lips were her favorite candies on display.Dear god, he needed to stop that.“But the night is young!” He whined, swaying a little on the stool.“It’s 1:30 in the morning, the bar’s gonna close soon anyway.”“I barely started drinking!”She crossed her arms. “That’s exactly the problem, you’ve had only 2 shotsand that beer you’ve been caressing,” she retorted with a raised eyebrow.“’S always room for moreeee,” Cassian said. His voice rang withresistance but his body knew better as he attempted to get off the bar stoolregardless. Jyn put an arm around his torso and swung his arm around hershoulder for support.“One step at a time, alright Cass?” Jyn said as they trudged out ofthe bar, a few steps at a time.Luckily, Cassian lived on a residential street behind the bar, so it wasn’tlong before they approached his apartment. Jyn patted around his pants for hiskey fob and Cassian started laughing.“Tha'tickles,” he said with a grin. “If you wanted to get intomy pants all ya had t'do was assssssss…k.”Jyn blushed and felt even warmer than the buzz that crept up on her through thenight, but she rolled her eyes at him.After finally fishing out the key fob, she opened the gate and dragged Cassianinto the apartment complex. Reaching towards the elevator, she stuck her fingerout to press the “up” button, but Cassian thought it was a better idea to swatit like a cat. The lack of control over his own body was probably driving himnuts, she figured, and she pressed her lips together to keep herself fromlaughing at the thought.

When the elevator doors slid open, she pulled him in and leanedhim against the back wall. She pressed the button to his floor and leanedagainst the back wall as well, looking up at him to see if he was okay.

He stared down at her, zoned out and eyes half-lidded. Theonly audible sounds were the hum of the elevator and his slow, but headybreath. Jyn couldn’t tear her eyes away from him, and he swayed back and forthslightly trying to stay upright, but soon enough she found him leaning so farforward towards her she could feel his breath on her lips. Jyn’s eyes flutteredas she stared through his long eyelashes and realized she was paralyzed at thebeauty of it. Slowly, her hand made its way up to his face and she gentlypressed two fingers on his bottom lip. She almost recoiled in surprise at howsoft they were, and she found herself struggling hard against her owninebriation to stop herself from outright taking advantage of him physicallywhen the elevator made a small “ding!” noise and the doors slid back open onCassian’s floor.

Cassian whipped his head in the direction of the door andattempted to move on his own accord. Jyn snapped out of her trance andscrambled to put her arm around his waist again to keep him up as they left theelevator.Once inside the apartment, Jyn flicked the lights to his bedroom on and led himto his bed. “Alright, let’s get you to bed, and tomorrow we can go out forhangover breakfast,” she said, patting his back. She was about to tear awayfrom him and head towards the bathroom to wash her face, but she felt a suddenforce pull her down and onto the bed. Cassian had gripped one of her handstightly and brought her down with him.

“Man…” Cassian breathed. His words were still elongated andslurred, and the smell of alcohol wafted through Jyn’s nose. “That was fun!Told you I could out-drink you!”She chuckled. “That’s not how it works, Cass. I’m still sober.”He tried to throw his head back by digging his head further into the pillows,then tried to shush her by placing his fingers on her lips. But in his drunkenstupor, he missed and they landed just above, on her nostrils. “Shhh, no,stop spreading lies,” he hushed.

Jyn dug Cassian’s phone out of his back pocket and rolledover to place it on his nightstand, screen-side down so the notificationswouldn’t wake him up. But she noticed a small Polaroid photo sticking out fromthe card holder on the back of his phone case. Curiously, Jyn took it out,wondering what a studious, discreet man like Cassian was doing with asentimental item.

It was a picture of herself, dressed up as a Jedi, flashinga peace sign while leaning against Cassian, who hadn’t bothered to get into thespirit of Halloween. He flashed a demure, yet cocky ghost of a smirk on hisface, red solo cup in his free hand. At the bottom, in sharpie, were the words “Halloween,2012” and, much smaller, at the bottom corner: “First time meeting Jyn”.

“When I picture myself happy, it’s with you!” Cassiansuddenly slurred together, eyes closed, apparently having found a second windof energy in all his drunkenness. It caught Jyn by surprise and she quicklyshoved the picture back into his phone case before flipping back around towardshim.“Yes, yes, the beers and the booze make you happy,” Jyn soothed,remembering his beer-bottle-caress. “Don’t forget that I’m the one thattook you out for drinks though,” she teased.He turned over more to face her and haphazardly threw an arm and a leg aroundher. “I know,” Cassian mumbled as his lids drooped. “You knewhow to cheer me up, and that’s why you’re in my happy-picture.”A flash of heat surged through Jyn as she thought back to that photo, and hercheeks went red. She wanted to ask about the picture he kept with him, if itmeant anything to him, or why he even had it on hand. But just as she got thecourage to get the words out she looked up and found Cassian’s that eyes were completelyshut and his breathing had turned into a gentle purr of snoring.Well, she was trapped under his heavy limbs, on his own bed. She might askabout it tomorrow, if she’s still feeling brave. Until then, she could stand toget comfortable for the night.So she did.

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 20.10.17 lb

god. work is killing me. fuck capitalism. 

as much as i love the 40 minute episodes and think it’s a better format for the show, i can’t help but be a little relieved that we’re going back to the 21 minute format; just for my personal mental health. 

whut, did shivaay just abandon anika’s ass in the jungle? OMG DID A LAKKAD BAGGA GET HIM??????!?!!!!!! 😧😧😧

oh. there he is. 

waaah, bina google maps raasta dhoond liya? maan gaye billuji aapki paaar ki nazar ko!

fuck rudra, i hope bhavya’s actually abandoned him. i wish a lakkad bagga would have gotten HIS entitled ass. 😒😒😒

btw i loveeeeeee how bhavya’s glasses survived the parachute jump. bas amazing only. 😌😌😌

i hope that’s dirty ditch water that she convinces him is soup and makes him drink. 

BHAVYA WHY ARE YOU SO NICE MY GOD HADH HAI 

ok i literally don’t care about their ghar ghar ka khel and bhavya being so good to him when he doesn’t deserve it is pissing me off so fwding. 

like, every morning these ppl are like PATA NAHI SHIVAAY NE HUMEIN EK SAATH KYUN BULAAYA HAI. at this point, just stop being surprised. or stop fucking showing up???? 

ugh shivaay in this black suit from ep 1 just…. doesssss something to me man. i don’t want to feeeel, but he makes meeeeeee. this is my absolute favt. billu outfitttt. 😍😍😍😍

good to see he still hates pinky’s guts. 😆😆😆

LMAO SHIVAAY JUST STRAIGHT UP CALLING THEM OUT FOR FUCKING HIM OVER

… no mention of bhavya. apparently we don’t care if she survived. she’s not in the inner circle yet. 

can’t get over how tiny shivaay looks in this shot, yet how he’s bullying the older generation into giving up the secret. 

what “bohut dino se”??? your family and this godforsaken house has been AJEEB since time immemorial. 🙄🙄🙄

LMAO BRO SOMEONE OR THE OTHER KEEPS GETTING ATTACKED IN YOUR HOUSE EVERY DAY, WHAT’S AJEEB ABOUT THAT? a day where everyone makes it through safely is what should be ajeeb in this house at this point. 

OH HO SHIVAAY DON’T GIVE UP ANIKA’S TATTLING LIKE THAT. LIKE YOUR MOM DOESN’T HATE HER ENOUGH ALREADY. 😣😣😣

i love fucking ENTITLED he thinks he is to the “truth”. lol if only life worked like that.

ok don’t emotionally blackmail him buddhelog. 

…. so you’re just gonna walk away like that??? cool, i guess. 😕😕😕

pffffffffft. YOU SHOULD LIVE IN PERPETUAL SHAK OF YOUR FAM AFTER WHAT YOUR OWN DAMN MOM DID TO YOU. 

HAHAHAHAHA “SHIVAAY BOHUT SENSIBLE HAI” HAHAHAHAHAHA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME MAN I THINK WE ARE COZ SENSIBLE IS THE LAST THING HE IS

ok everyone’s getting awfully defensive about their involvement. 

so even tej is all about shivaay being the “neev” of this fam now? we’ve just given up on our own sons doing anything of consequence, have we? 

shakti, you don’t knowwwww shivaay at all. AT ALL. i’m more of a dad to shivaay than you are. 😒😒😒

WHAT THE FUCK RAAZ MAN I HATE THIS SHITTY PLOT SO MUCH Y’ALL ARE SO SHADY

woooooooop shukla’s up! 

not even a question to shukla like “oh, you’re out of the coma? how you feeling? let me come to the hospital to see you so you don’t have to trouble yourself!” 

OBLIGATORY TRIP TO THE MAIDAAN OF ALL HORRIBLE OBEROI EVENTS

why the f is shivaay wearing sunglasses at what looks like fucking 7 pm

GOD THIS SHUKLA ACTOR ANNOYS ME SO MUCH. JUST HIS FACE MAKES ME WANNA BEAT HIM UP. 

what the fuck sense does this make, why would they want tapes proving their innocence destroyed???? 

betting you that it was abhay’s overly satyavaaadi dad who did it. 🙄🙄🙄

tfw you find out that your fam aren’t cold blooded murderers/arsonists. a momentous time in every couple’s life! 😊😊😊

god shivaay you’re such a fucking idiot i swear. one random person told you that your fam are murderers and you believed him. now this other random person said they’re not and you believed HIM. like fucking have one independent thought in your front seat waala dimaag, please! 😣😣😣

GOD I HATE THIS PLOT AND THIS WRITING AND EVERYTHING SO MUCH I DON’T CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE SHOW ME MY BABIES DILPREEEEEEEEET AND GAURIIIIIII

lmaooooooo and abhay’s life continues to suck. 😂😂😂

other than the genetic lottery that dealt him that face and THAT bod. 😍😍😍 

howwww the fuck did this shop waala dude even know this guy is an oberoi/lives there??? 

lmao delivery for “MR. OBEROI”????? there’s 6 of them here!!!!! you gotta be a little more specific, my man. 

why can’t dadi open the package on her own? 

ohhhhhhh boy dadi’s in the mood to watch a movieeeeeeeeee. 

lmao dadi just realised she has a life outside of this chutiyaapa and fucked right off. 

ok you ppl are hella rich. there’s absolutely no need for you to fight over this ONE tv like a middle class fam from the 90s. 😒😒😒

TANYA MY GOD HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF ABHAY’S APPROVAL FOR FUCKS SAKE GIRL, GET A HOBBY OR SOME SHIT 😩😩😩

gosh i feel so bad for tanya, being stuck in this house with these maniacs, for a guy who doesn’t even give a fuck about her. she needs to leave his ass already. girl however hot he is, and HOTTTTTTTTT he is, it isn’t worth this shit. 

ok pinky, kitna makhan lagaaogi toast pe???? cholesterol ka bhi toh kuch khayal rakho. 😬😬😬

abhay’s hereeeeeeeeeee. looking hotttt af. 

the tape lives to see another dayy! 

ok honestly, pinky/jhanvi, what the fuck do you even do all day??? dadi gives you ONE thing to do and you can’t even do that? it’s not like you guys are focused on… oh idk, YOUR KIDS or anything. 

OMFG I TRULY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THIS PLOT WHY IS THIS STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOING ONNNNNNN CAN WE MOVE ON TO ANYYYYYYYYTHING ELSE. ANYTHING?!?!?! LIKE, LET’S DELVE INTO KHANNA’S PERSONAL LIFE. LET’S GO INTO TANYA’S BACKSTORY. LET’S GO TO ALL THE FUCKING WAY TO AMERICA AND CHECK UP ON FUCKING PRINKU, I AM LITERALLY MORE INTERESTED IN HER THAN WHAT’S GOING ON HERE RIGHT NOW. FUCKING FWDING. I’VE HAD ENOUGH. 😤😤😤😤

okaaaaay i see some fakeass happy family shit as i’m fwding. 

ugh rudra is back too. 

btw, i love how shivaay’s priority was this nonsense raaz, over, oh idk, IF RUDRA SURVIVED JUMPING OUT THE PLANE.

ugh ok i don’t care anymore. fwding. 

om’s outtta disguise? okaaaaay. 🤔🤔🤔

YEAH THAT WOULD INVOLVE TELLING HER THAT YOU’RE OMKARA SINGH OBEROI. 😒😒😒

OUFF NOT THE TIME TO PLAY VICTIM YOU LITTLE SHIT

god he looks sooooo hottttt todayyyyyy though *strokes the screen lovingly* 😍😍😍

awwww, he’s cryinggggg. baby nooooooo. 😥😥😥

actually baby yes. cry a little. you deserve it for how much you made my girl cry. 😠😠😠

ugh godddddd i don’t care about you shitty oberois, where’s my girl gauri? 

metaaa announcement about show being half hour now. 

pfffffft, pataakhon ki awaaz se darrte hai yeh phatuus. 

shivaay’s motto is apparently “patakha jalao mat, pataakha bano.” 

sounds more like anika’s motto to me but ok whatever. 

waise this whole episode is hella boring and making me want to die a little. laaaaaaaaaast 40 min episode and awaiiii ki bakchodi mein time waste. 

anika has some traumatic diwali babyhood memories? 

daaaaaang, those some rudeass orphanage ppl. 

snorttttttttttt taaaana about the much delayed ‘i love you’. 

MY GOD YOU FUCKERS ARE SO IMMATURE

finaaaaaalllllly. gauriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. my gauriiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. what a sight for sore eyessssssssss.. 💖💖💖💖

gauri switched teams from shankarji to devi maiyya? 

oufffff gauri yaaaaaaaaaar. such contrived situation to go to OM again. 

ok devi maiyya, that’s a hella vague answer. this could go either way??? 

but gauri seems to be adept at interpreting, so good for her i guess. 

abhayyyy looking hot af in whiiiiiiite. 

i’m soooooooo sure now that abhay’s dad was the one who fucked everything up. 

tanya’s here. to show love to abhay. and get yelled at in return. COZ SHE NEVER LEARNS. 😣😣😣

wow, tanya. you’re awfully blackmail-y for a sanskaari, mandir-going type no? 😕😕😕

aaaaaaand abhay’s a POS. as usual. who is surprised? not me. 

tanya whyyyyyyyyyyy are you with this asssholeeeee????? my girllllll you deserve soooooo much better! 

and omkara’s running away from his issues. as always. 

um did gauri get dressed in the dark???? why is she wearing THOSE bottoms with that kurta/dupatta? 

lmaoooo omg tanya giving example of shivika as sachcha pyaar to light a real fire under abhay’s ass. that got his attention! 

YES TANYA LEAVE HIS ASSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

omg this is the besttttttttttt thing to happen in this episodeeeeee I AM SO HAPPY FOR MY GIRLLLLLLLLLL 😭😭😭😭😭

YAS TANYAAAAAAAAA, NOW GO MEET UP WITH RAGINI AND BE FABULOUSLY GAY WITH HER SOMEWHERE FAR FAR AWAY FROM THESE FUCKED UP OBEROIS 👭🏽👭🏽👭🏽

wow, gauri’s already in oberoi mansion and sneaking around!???

whaaaaaaaaat, how does abhay even know gauri???? 

oh no, what fakeass chitthi is this now??? 😟😟😟

ABHAY THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM MAN, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW GAURI OR ANIKA, THEY’RE NOT OBEROIS, WHY ARE YOU EVEN INVOLVING THEM IN THIS 😡😡😡😡

godddddddddd fuck you abhay. 

why is bhavya still in oberoi mansion??? 

ugh we’re back to this fuckery. 

they need to make up their mind with what direction they’re going with rudra’s character. either he’s mature revenge monster, or cute baby obro. he can’t be BOTH. it’s giving me whiplash from how multiple-identity he’s coming off as.

ugh nonsense ruvya romance. fwdinggggggggggggg.

oh gauriiiii. my babyyyyy. *holds her forever* 

abhay you should fuck right off to whatever fucking hellhole you crawled out of. 

oh wow, he’s taking my advice. good. bye bye you hottttt demon. 👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽👋🏽

wifey maaaaaaaaad about lack of i love you. 

hubs has managed to make chand bracelet more YELLOW. got it dipped in 24k gold? 

damn, shivaay does really look suuuuuuuuper related to abhay in this scene. more than he does to omRu! 

[wolfftalz-blog]

Alec: *making his beautiful speech about unity* Shadowhunters: *listening and agreeing* Two dick head shadowhunters: he's only doing this because his boyfriend is a downworlder. In a week someone new will be in charge and make better decisions. IZZY: STANDING RIGHT THERE GIVING THE BEST SIDE EYE EVER Angel Izzy: babe just ignore them you're better than this Devil Izzy: BeAT thEIR MOTher FUCKING ASSSSSSSS Alec: *still calmly talking unaware of the fight about to go down*

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz/dbo 29.05.17 lb

plain text version here.

om stop glaring at my girl. don’t make me yank your tiny ponytail. 😠😠😠

husband wife hug ke alaawa aur bhi bohut kuch karte hai, woh bhi kabhi kiya karo!!!!!! che mahine se hug pe hi suiii atki hui hai tumhari, pfffft. 😒😒😒

but i’m dying @ how he keeps going back for hugs and encouraging her to hug him so that “they can see it’s normal!” ugh, this adorable asshole. 😭😭😭

yeah ok who died and made you the foremost expert on marriage and relationships, shivaay? 🙄🙄🙄

apni shaadi toh theek se sambhali nahi jaa rahi, dusron ko gyaan deta phir raha hai. 😑😑😑

lmaoooooo the boys are scared of anika’s cooking after her paneer fiasco. 😂😂😂😂

ek packet maggi ke liye ITNAAAAAA excitement aur drama. pffft. 🙄🙄🙄

goddamnit, just merge the fucking shows into one already. i need shivaay and gauri to be able to hang outtttt everydayyyy. 😩😩😩

lmaoooo ok, the girls are GOING for it. aw man, i miss rudra. he’d have been on theirrrrr teammmm. 😊😊😊

let om go back to dbo, but can we have gauri here please? pleaseee???? i need to see her to be here with anika and shivaayyyy. 👸🏽👸🏽👸🏽

i am kinda side-eyeing buamaa’s saccharine love for these two now that she mightttt be shady. 😐😐😐

OUFF SOMEONE CHOOSE SOMETHING. 😒😒😒

cause of death: shivaay waking up and feeling around for anika on the bed, before even opening his eyes. 💀💀💀

god, that kurta and his fluffy hair makes him look absolutely delicious. i could spread him on toast and just NOM. 😍😍😍

such a cute top she’s wearing, but ugh, this weird table cloth kinda crap on top of it is ruining everything.  😣😣😣

please shivaay, you’re the un-jhel-able one here. do i need to remind you how many women ran out on your ass on your wedding day? 😑😑😑

TELL HIM, GIRLLLLLLL. 😚😚😚

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

like, romance and all is fine, but in scenes like this, i can’t help but think of the morning breath situation. ok i’ll stfu and just enjoy the sexy. 🤐🤐🤐

“toh jaao na, anika.” 

hahahahahha, fuck me. 😧😧😧

here lies tellywoodtrash, killed by the sexiest fucking whisper i’ve ever heard in my not-so-short life. in lieu of flowers, please buy my cat some cat food instead, thanks. 😽😽😽

OMG JUST FUCKING KISS HIM GIRL, LOOK AT HIM ALL SEXY AND SLEEP RUFFLED AND HOARSE VOICED. HONESTLY, WHAT ARE YOU EVEN MADE OF!?!?!? 😲😲😲

ok the fuck, she has to wear that in the evening, asshole. will you iron it for her? yeah i didn’t thinkkkkk so. ok sorry, i’ll stfu again and try to enjoy the sexy. 🤐🤐🤐

anika really seems into his sexy clothes throwing though. maybe she doesn’t hate ironing as much as i do. 😕😕😕

"mat likhwana. biwi toh phir bhi meri hi rahogi.” 

this cocky bastardddddddd. 😯😯😯

snort. narcissist. 😆😆😆

but omggggg his adorableeeeeeeee smileeeeeee. 😍😍😍

ugh, they’re so fucking cute, i can’t. i just can’t. let me just savourrrrrrrrr these moments, knowing the shitstorm that is comingggg. 😫😫😫

OUFF NO I DON’T CARE ABOUT RONDHU GIRL. GO BACK TO BADE BHAIYYA AND BHAUJAIIII BEING SEXY. 😑😑😑

lol maaaan, their love story is so fucking contriveddd. 🙄🙄🙄

whyyyyyyy is she always cryinggggggggggg? like, girl, come on. 😒😒😒

rudy boy, honestly, i thought you had smoother moves than THIS. like... this is BS desi stalker “do you wanna make frandship with me” shit. 😟😟😟

OK YES YOU HAVE RIPPED OFF ALL OF HUM DIL DE CHUKE SANAM IN THESE 3 MINUTES. STOP ALREADY. 😒😒😒

ohhhhh god noooooooo, return of thisssssss horrible outfit. i haaaaate that stupid collar. 😫😫😫

god pinkyyyyy. you’re the worsttttt. 😡😡😡

no the mehendi colour is contingent on HUSBAND’s pyaar actually. so fuck off pinky. 😤😤😤

siiiiiiiiiiigh. my poor girl. sach bol bhi nahi sakti is mummeh ke bete ko, jhoot bhi nahi bol sakti. *hugs her* 😔😔😔

“mehendi mein mera hi naam likhwaana.”

achcha hua tumne bol diya. nahi toh padosi ka naam likhwaane jaa rahi thi. 😂😂😂

“sirf hum dono hi ek dusre ko jhel sakte hai.” 

truth. you’re both freaks. please let the rest of us normals live. 😌😌😌

aw, his little eyebrow raise. ugh. nakuul is killing me today man. 😍😍😍

also killing me, in a not good way? his fucking sherwani. like it’s bad enough i had to watch him wear this once, BUT TWICE?????? the fuck. 😑😑😑

oh anika, you naive fooool. just murder the old bat already. 😠😠😠

lol does the chai have glucose biscuit in it today or not? 😋😋😋

not. 😂😂😂

ugh fuckkkkkkkk you om. now does she have to taste test every fucking drink she brings you? 😒😒😒

god, what an asshole. GIRL COULD YOU JUST LEAVEEEEEEEEE HISSSS ASSSSSSSS????? 😣😣😣

waaaah, kameeni bhi idhar colour coordinated hai. 😌😌😌

ohhhhh great, another zabardasti ki shaadi. 😠😠😠

HE’S THE FUCKING ACP!!!! HOW THE FUCK IS HE GONNA FORCE HER INTO MARRYING????? LIKE??? 😯😯😯

er... what? what gang? 🤔🤔🤔

ppl with guns crashing wedding and shooting in the air, classic UP wedding. 😊😊😊

LMAO GOGGLE GANG HAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂

ohhh goggle gang dude, you messed with the wrongggggggg cry baby. 😎😎😎

ugh. pinkyyyyyyyyy. 😠😠😠

but acid would form a separate layer when poured on oil and it’d be really obvious????? 🤔🤔🤔

dulhe ki behen has new clothes, dulhan is still wearing puraane kapde from her husband’s wedding to some other chick. best. 😒😒😒

LMFAO WHAT THE FUCK EVEN, BHAVYA???? 😂😂😂

uske upar this CRAZY KIYA RE ka soundtrack. the cherry on top of the WTF sundae that is this scene. 😆😆😆

ouff rudra, you’re suchhhh a loser. 🙄🙄🙄

it’s ridiculous to see om all happy happy like this in some scenes, when he doesn’t want these ceremonies to be carried out. like... character consistency please???? 😐😐😐

ugh, we’re entering the #drama portion of the night. do i absolutely haaaave to watch? can’t i just watch the first 20 minutes again??? 😩😩😩

... can shivaay have ONE normal mehendi function in his life without the damn thing being spiked with acid? 😣😣😣

okaaaaaaaaaaay, abrupttttt scene change. 😶😶😶

YO THIS GIRL LEGIT LOOKS LIKE AMRAPALI. 😯😯😯

lmaooooooooooooo anika’s CUT THE BS face. 😂😂😂

ouff this whole BS is so predictable. pinky will accuse anika of fucking with the mehendi. and a whole lot of yelling and trying to make shivaay pick a side. ughhhhhhhhh. 😑😑😑

yupppppp. 🙄🙄🙄

WAIT. RATHORE. ACP RATHORE. was she the one who was supposed to originally investigate that case from eons ago, and ranveer came instead??? 😯😯😯

also - wow. three names, woh bhi rajput. she’s a 4 Lions Hero. 😏😏😏

yes ok you’re a badass and all, but i still don’t think you’re right for my rudy boy. 😐😐😐

aaaaaaaand we’re off with the nightly #OberoiSlam 😒😒😒

prinku, can you ever be anything but THE FUCKING WORST? CAN YOU AT LEAST FUCKING TRY? gawdddddd. jab bolna hota hai, tab toh mooh nahi kholti. kholti hai toh aise chutiyape ke liye. 😠😠😠

ohhhhhh hoooooo, so much yelllling. 😫😫😫

shivaay, dude, it’s time to look into expanding the business abroad. just take the wife and fucking go live somewhere else for a few years, thanks. 😌😌😌

om’s face is screaming “thank god i live in the alternate universe. i can’t take this shit on a daily basis.” 😂😂😂

BRO THE SCENE CHANGES ARE SO FUCKING ABRUPT; I WAS LIKE WHAT THE F IS THE FUCKING POLICE DOING HERE FOR THIS MEHENDI WAALA ISSUE. 😟😟😟

ouffffffff not feeling this stupid love story at all. if anything, this badass lady cop deserves someone smarter than rudra? 😗😗😗

same, girl. same. #theseDogsAintShit 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhh great. from a good acp, to this lameass one who is the worst. at everything. 😒😒😒

WHEN THE FUCK ARE PPL GOING TO STOP BEING ABLE TO WALTZ INTO THIS HOUSE AS THEY PLEASE????? WHERE THE F IS KHANNA? 😡😡😡

her nose looks back to normal now. dude i don’t get it. 🤔🤔🤔

also, they’re already in the middle of one ‘kid in-law’ crisis right now. take a number and wait your turn, bro. 😝😝😝

ohhhhhhhhhh boy. what mission? what are they going to use him for? he’s an OBEROI. not really the most low key dude you can just blend into the crowds with. 😕😕😕

oufffffffff yahan pe yeh khatam nahi hua? 🙄🙄🙄

goddddddd. why can’t my girl catch a fucking break? she was so fucking excited for her mehendi. 😭😭😭

you’re consoling the wrong fucking personnnn, shivaay. he doesn’t even WANT the rasm to happen. 😑😑😑

om having to do shivaay’s emotional labour, aaaaaah it’s just like the old days! 😊😊😊

goddddd ranveeeeeeeer you’re such a fucking psychoooooo. FUCKING LET GO OF HER. 😡😡😡

COZ SHE’S A DECENT FUCKING HUMAN BEING WHO HATES UNNECESSARY BLOODSHED, YOU ASSHOLE. 😤😤😤

don’t fall for it prinku. DON’T FUCKING FALL FOR IT. 😩😩😩

WHAT IS WITH THIS FUCKING UNIVERSE AND JUST... LIKE THIS IS NOT HOW MARRIAGE WORKS, YOU ASSHOLES, ON A PURELY LEGAL STANDPOINT (LET’S NOT EVEN GO INTO THE EMOTIONAL), THIS IS NOT HOW IT WORKS!!!! 😫😫😫

OH THANK GOD FOR SHIVAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

YAAAAAAAS. BEAT THE SNOT OUT OF HIM SHIVAAY!!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT HELPING, OM? 😒😒😒

i mean, yes good, hold prinku back. that’s a form of helping too, i guess. i’d prefer if you used your sculptor guns to sculpt him a new face tho. 😗😗😗

lmao, all i gotta say to gauri is welcome to the fam, girl!!!!! 😂😂😂

anika, can you just STFU???? why do you keep talking crap when it’s not the time???? let him deal with his stupidass never-learns-her-goddamn-lesson sister as he sees fit. 😑😑😑

OH NO, PINKY KAMEENI TEAM UP. OH NO OH NO OH NO! 😟😟😟

and omg yaaaaaaaaas, finally, tender!Omkara channeling his best ASR with the choodiyaan. 😊😊😊