#BD Next Level

[probablyasocialecologist]

The economic indicators speak of nothing less than an economic catastrophe. Over 46,000 businesses have gone bankrupt, tourism has stopped, Israel’s credit rating was lowered, Israeli bonds are sold at the prices of almost “junk bonds” levels, and the foreign investments that have already dropped by 60% in the first quarter of 2023 (as a result of the policies of Israel’s far-right government before October 7) show no prospects of recovery. The majority of the money invested in Israeli investment funds was diverted to investments abroad because Israelis do not want their own pension funds and insurance funds or their own savings to be tied to the fate of the State of Israel. This has caused a surprising stability in the Israeli stock market because funds invested in foreign stocks and bonds generated profit in foreign currency, which was multiplied by the rise in the exchange rate between foreign currencies and the Israeli Shekel. But then Intel scuttled a $25 billion investment plan in Israel, the biggest BDS victory ever.  These are all financial indicators. But the crisis strikes deeper at the means of production of the Israeli economy. Israel’s power grid, which has largely switched to natural gas, still depends on coal to supply demand. The biggest supplier of coal to Israel is Colombia, which announced that it would suspend coal shipments to Israel as long as the genocide was ongoing. After Colombia, the next two biggest suppliers are South Africa and Russia. Without reliable and continuous electricity, Israel will no longer be able to pretend to be a developed economy. Server farms do not work without 24-hour power, and no one knows how many blackouts the Israeli high-tech sector could potentially survive. International tech companies have already started closing their branches in Israel. Israel’s reputation as a “startup nation” depends on its tech sector, which in turn depends on highly educated employees. Israeli academics report that joint research with universities abroad has declined sharply thanks to the efforts of student encampments. Israeli newspapers are full of articles about the exodus of educated Israelis. Prof. Dan Ben David, a famous economist, argued that the Israeli economy is held together by 300,000 people (the senior staff in universities, tech companies, and hospitals). Once a significant portion of these people leaves, he says, “We won’t become a third world country, we just won’t be anymore.” 

19 July 2024

[fantastic-nonsense]

I know it's cold comfort to everyone protesting and watching the protests against US funding of Israel right now, but the needle on Palestine has already moved further than I would have ever thought possible in so short a time.

For nearly 75 years, the conversation around sending money and weapons to Israel has remained staunchly ingrained in the American public imagination as something that is both good and uncontroversial. 2014 (the first time Israel's brutality against Palestinians truly went worldwide on social media) was the first time I believed that public sentiment change was possible. But that was a cracked door of genuine sympathy. Israel's behavior this time has blown the door wide open. I've seen more movement on the issue of American military aid and political support to Israel in the past 6 months than I have in the past 10 years.

When I did my graduate thesis on how to advocate for more effective international arms control against state actors who violated human rights, I was explicitly told by my client to stay away from Israel for the case study portion. They were an exception to every law and rule we had, so it was useless to talk about them. Fast forward two years, and we are having genuine conversations about Israel's ongoing, routine human rights violations and the need to condition their military aid that I would have considered impossible last year.

I never thought I would see AIPAC talked about in Democratic circles like they talked about the NRA. I never thought I would see people who work in the political sphere and aren't explicitly doing human rights advocacy talk about the Leahy Laws and the human rights conditions of the Foreign Assistance Act in relation to Israel. I never thought I would see federal politicians repeatedly call out Israel's brutality on the floor of Congress. I never thought I would see "normies" talking about the state-level anti-BDS laws that the pro-Israel lobby has advocated for and helped pass over the past decade. Hoped and wished it would happen, sure. But thought it actually would? No. But it's finally happening!

And if there's a silver lining in this whole awful mess, it's that it's clear Israel has lost the long-term war of public opinion. Every single poll of under 30s (and to a certain extent, under 40s) is pretty clear on that.

Regardless of what happens here in this moment, Israel's unique relationship with the United States is done the second the current crop of legislators retires or is pushed out of office. We're starting to see politicians who are willing to have that conversation already, thanks to everyone who has gotten involved in state and federal elections and helped support candidates who value human dignity and sympathize with Palestine. Within ten years at most—and more reasonably within the next five depending on how 2028 shakes out—the funding conversation will look VERY different (as long as you all keep voting, anyway). Progress is slow, but it IS happening.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Blend in with your surroundings. I can't understand why people build huge houses with only 2 bds. This is a 2000 build in Larkspur, CO. 2bd, 2ba, $989K.

2 glass doors open to stairs that go up to the main floor. (Note the rock from outside, coming in.)

Look at this.

There's a large kitchen with grayish blue cabinetry.

Part of the kitchen and dining area are open so you can see the lower level.

To the side of the kitchen there's a living room.

This looks like a built-in desk right next to a rock. What a tranquil space.

I think that this is the primary bedroom. It has stairs to the en-suite, behind the wall.

The en-suite is pretty nice. Has a nice tub, shower and sinks.

The 2nd bd. is a loft space.

The en-suite is very nice. Has a beautiful sink, the black tub and glass block shower.

Narrow mirrored laundry space.

Here's another home office, a small corner space.

On the top floor there's a conservatory, but they don't show the interior. Outdoor spaces include terraces, decks, and patios.

The largest deck has a grill.

And a sitting area around a fire pit.

Then, down on the ground, they put a picnic table under the trees.

Behind the house, they have a shed and hot tub area.

0.86 Acre lot

[guillotine-drop]

Rating POSTAL Dudes by how good they smell:

POSTAL - 9/10: I think his habitual reclusion and distrust of the world would probably mean he’s showering constantly, moreso than any other Dude, especially if he thinks there’s a ‘Hate Plague’ going on. I think he smells basic; very simple routine, just enough to make sure he feels clean, so at most he’ll smell like some generic 3-in-1 body wash and shampoo/conditioner, maybe something slightly nicer just for himself (some decent $15 aftershave for that menthol scent and cooling relief).

POSTAL Redux - 3/10: Exact opposite of his original incarnation, this greasy son of a bitch isn’t scared of shit he just wants to throw explosives at ostriches and parades. Barely showers, constantly stinks of stale sweat, old blood, cheap leather and cheaper cologne, punctuated with the scent of burnt gunpowder. Borderline noxious.

POSTAL 2 - 4/10: Smells just as bad as Redux Dude but gets the edge here because every now and then he goes outside and uses the neighbor’s hose to blast himself. Shockingly uses deodorant, still not enough to be perpetually leather and denim clad in the great state of Arizona. Almost constantly reeks of sweat and has the recognizable yet faint scent of stale piss wafting off of him, accompanied by the scent of even staler crack and pungent fast food. Almost pungent enough to drown the rest out. Almost.

POSTAL 3 - 2/10: If you were to raid the wash cart after a double overtime football game, steal every jockstrap in the place, wring the sweat into a bucket, and then bring it all to a boil, you’d have somewhere in the realm of what a clean P3 Dude smells like. On average, however, this man has managed to combine the overwhelming sensory nightmares of cat piss and cheap spray deodorant into an almost lethal concoction, ONLY made breathable by the strange and overpowering smell of gasoline that seems to seep from his pores. Approach with caution and for the love of god: do not bring bleach or matches near this freak.

POSTAL 4: No Regerts - 5/10: Despite looking like he crawled out of a dumpster after a bad divorce or a fantastic honeymoon, P4 Dude is shockingly passable in terms of being able to stand next to him for a prolonged period without gagging or killing him. Having learned the efficacy of not being encased in leather in the desert, he’s managed to bring his pungency down several notches. Still reeks of sweat most of the time, and the smell of burger grease and pepperoni follows him like a specter of death, but the piss scent stopped clinging on as hard. He’s also upgraded from hose showers with no supplies to sink baths with tiny gas station travel soaps. It’s an improvement, trust me.

Brain Damaged - 2/10: Take a look at his living space in the title screen, then watch the game’s cutscenes. Just soak it all in. Now that you’ve done that, you can understand that his rank ass smells exactly as bad as you might think it does. If it can come out of his body, it’s probably soaking some part of him. If you think any of the clothes on him have been washed, you’re wrong. This man smells like if someone firebombed an outhouse and pissed on it to put it out. The best thing for him would be getting blasted with a firehouse and a box of laundry detergent. Please.

The Other Dude - 1-10/10: Entirely depends on how the BD Dude would imagine he smells depending on the situation.

POOSTALL Dude - 6/10: Despite the name, this one actually smells pretty decent. The clearly larger coat with the rolled sleeves implies some level of understanding about how not to smell like swamp ass and sweat soaked leather, and truthfully, he looks like he bathes semi-regularly, a rarity amongst these guys.

POSTAL Doe - 9/10: I admit fully and entirely to my lack of impartiality to this one, but I’m willing to stand by it even if I lose my Stink Judge License: first of all, sleeveless leather trench coat AND a crop top mean less overheat which means less sweat. Second of all, visually cleaner than pretty much any of the dudes which implies some kind of self care regimen. Third, and most importantly, girlstink counts positive. I will not be turning in my badge or my gun.

Movie Dude - 8/10: This may be controversial, but despite the squalor he lives in and the fact that hems a cuckold and that his life sucks and that he can’t get a job and that he’s a loser- I digress. I think Movie Dude is in the top echelons of Dude Stink solely because I think he’d have a breakdown if he smelled bad. This man uses Dr. Teals. He stinks like a mix of eucalyptus and peppermint. If ever there was a Dude who had a skin routine, he still wouldn’t, but he’d definitely think about it one day. I think by the end he gets an extra point just because he gets a little hotter the more deranged he is. Overall very pleasant but I still wouldn’t give him $4.

John Murray - 2/10: Hasselridge seems to have a very… interesting relationship with what is and isn’t normal, so unsurprisingly, Johnny Boy would probably smell pretty rough. Considering how dingy, run down and shitty everything in that town appears to be, I can’t imagine anyone else is smelling like roses either. Just avoid the entire place, not least of all because of the zombie thing.

Shtopor - 0/10: Bad.

Nottem Portant - 5/10: Despite the misanthropy, dollar store Nathan Explosion thing and the absolutely abysmal gameplay, Mr. Hatred is actually extremely middle of the road on stink. Sure, he doesn’t smell great, but shockingly he washes his ass despite the whole ‘death to humanity’ thing. He does get point deduction for not washing his hair though, grease mop motherfucker.

[magentas-dystopia]

Something I really lament is the move towards digital media. Slowly we start to never own the things we like. Even if we "buy" a digital game, or movie or show. It's locked behind a certain platform or service. Once it shuts down we lose it forever.

(me when big booby anime girl explosion Is taken off of Netflix)

I also feel like there's a certain charm to owning physical media, like things you can hold and the satisfaction from pressing a clicky button or putting a disc or cassette in and seeing it work.

(oooh so classy so retro so.. expensive in the modern day)

More people should try to make copies of what they own digitally, or try to buy physical media before it's lost from streaming services and digital storefronts forever. Like the case with certain games like Godzilla 2014 and Transformers War for Cybertron. They don't exist digitally anymore. Only hard copies exist outside of emulation and at insane resell prices like... INSANE ones for a mediocre Godzilla game

So yea. Buy some more CDs of those albums you have on replay! Buy a DVD of that niche obscure anime you like! And most importantly PLEASE PLEASE START MAKING HARD BACKUPS OF SHOWS YOU LIKE THAT YOU PIRATE!!! media preservation is important!

(me downloading every episode of Daredevil onto my hard drive to burn to a DVD later so I can give it to all my friends)

This is now going to be a Comprehensive guide on how to rip a CD

POLL TIME!

Burning and Ripping Disc's❤️❤️💕💕🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

STEP ONE:

BUY A CHEAP BLU-RAY/DVD DRIVE FOR YOUR WINDOWS COMPUTER

here are some I recommend!!!

i personally use this pioneer one :)))

DVD drives in general are relatively cheap from 30-20 smackeroos, but Blu-ray drives are around 80-100 bucks depending on the manufacturer but offer better support for copying HD video such as on a Blu-ray.

STEP TWO:

FIND A PIECE OF MEDIA YOU ENJOY.

in this case its gonna be a CD!!

i really enjoy Vespertine by Bjork, but i wanna have it on my computer just in case anything happens to my CD. SO. ill open Windows Media Player

(she hasn't changed since 2011 <3333 be urself girl)

NEXT

ill insert the disc into the player. and it'll start playing!

Pause the disc and go into Rip settings

NEXT!! select the format!

if you want to conserve space and don't mind sacrificing audio quality select MP3! if you want to hear the same level of audio quality as preserved on the CD, select a format labelled LOSSLESS. I recommend .WAV files as they'll work with most devices including an android phone or iTunes on PC (more on that later ;3 )

NEXT!

create a folder on whatever u wanna save ur music to! (u can call it whatever u want the world is your oyster bestie)

THEN!!! FINALLY

go into more options on the Rip Settings menu!

select ur folder and press Rip CD!!!!

the fun thing of this now, is that you can pull these files on your computer and put it onto your Android device so you can listen to your hearts content without lugging around your CD in a player at high quality without any subscription service with free reign of who you can give your download to!

But Magenta! what if i have an iPhone?

ohohoo fear not bestie because iTunes on PC has an even EASIER way to do it

because simply putting in a disc with iTunes downloaded prompts THIS

(oooo so new age)

and if you have apple music on your iPhone this will sync to your phone if you logged into iTunes on PC!!

thank you for coming to my TED talk

[2kverrr]

Judy Alvarez Headcanons

CYBERPUNK || Judy Alvarez x Fem!Reader

On your first meeting, she was a bitch. You'd wandered down into the lower levels of Lizzie's and assumed she was Evelyn, you'd interrupted her editing to which she took the aggressive approach, "Who the fuck are you? You don't walk into somebody's office all dilly dally and shit on their editing."

She's a terrible cook, you know this and she knows this. So you tend to make sure she's eating properly when you have the time, boiling and frying a half-decent meal for her when she finishes a BD.

She's always willing to patch you up, her door is open to you any time you need care, and boy is she willing to give it to you. You'll sit on her kitchen counter while she scurries off to find any supplies required. And when she returns, she'll give you a quick, loving peck but then scold you for being so reckless while sorting your wounds.

She doesn't drink a lot, unlike you she goes for the strong shit that lasts her half an hour, like a malt or a whiskey. On the odd occasion, you ask to try some, she gladly raises the glass to your lips and purposely spills a little down your chin just for her own enjoyment. "Split a little." She giggles, slowly wiping your chin with her thumb, and dragging your lip down before licking her thumb clean.

She loves cats. When she comes to your apartment she immediately zooms past you to greet your momma cat and her kittens. At first, you were slightly offended but it's become the norm.

She struggles to sleep without you, it's like an addiction, after the first time sharing the same bad, holding you, digging her face into your neck, waking up entangled in each other, she needs it every night.

NAP QUEEN. She takes at least 2 a day, why sleep all night when you can do it in shifts? You feel more energised plus you get more work done. But when she does sleep, it's deep. Like you could throw a toaster across the room and she'd barely move a muscle. It's a pain when you need to get up and she's slung across you with more or less all of her body weight, it takes you a solid 15 minutes to get out of bed.

You love asking about her childhood in Laguna Bend, and she loved telling you about it. You never got tired of her stories, even if she sometimes repeats the same tales, you have a keen ear for her past life.

She's weirdly good at chess, she often tries to teach you but you prefer to tease her, running your leg up her leg while she's thinking about her next move, sit and stare at her instead of taking your turn, "You've got to move something at some point!" She complains, crossing her arms. "Hmm... I'd rather not."

You're her top volunteer for her implant, robotic and chrome experiments. Once, you tested a new combat implant for her and let one of her robots shoot at you, long story short, Judy's bathroom wall could do with some new plastering.

[juxl25]

KUROSHITSUJI THEORY!

Spoilers for ch208 onwards

Will the whole circus troop be brought back? And will Doll end up siding with o!ciel?

As I’m sure we are all aware from the end of the book of circus manga, the undertaker had most of the circus troops bodies (joker being the accepted as he basically got cremated). And now with Snake’s death and Doll having his body, that they will likely hand over to the undertaker, will mean the the undertaker will have all the bodies of the first tier Noah’s Ark circus.

I suspect that now with all the piece (the bodies of the first tier) the undertake will bring back them back as low level bizarre dolls (think Derrick Arden lvl) and force them to preform.

Why do I think that? Well I have very little evidence from the manga (like nothing at all) however I believe in poetic irony and a theme with Yana’s writing style.

First let’s look at the evidence from the manga, this is mostly for snake getting brought back to life.

This is mostly just me grasping at straws for snake being brought back lol. But also with Yana known for always including bits of foreshadowing in her work. Wether that being the chess game in showing to Ciels during the emerald witch arc, as well as ciel lying about the true fate of the circus troop to snake, apron his first arrive at the Phantomhive manor foreshadow him finding out later on in the story. So this panel’s taken from the start of book of Atlantic hits towards Snakes and by extension the rest of the troops being brought back to life.

And now on to my poetic irony. As we know Yana like to play the hand of justice in the series. Specifically killing of semi important characters in the series in the same way they have killed other people. This is shown in Madam Red’s death, Madam Red kills women by slitting their throat and then cutting the stomach open, and madam read died from being cut open when Grell stabbed them in the stomach with her chainsaw. And snakes death as well, where he got he throat slit was in the same place that Phipps got bit by the black mamba. Now following this theme we would expect the circus troop to die in a way that mirrors the death of the children in they kidnapped, but this didn’t happen. Thats why I suspect they will be made in to bizarre dolls and forced to preform. Being made in to low level BD would mimic how the kidnapped children were after their lobotomy and forced to preform like the children where forced to for baron Kelvin.

This leads on to my next point. Why might doll ended up siding with O!ciel? Because of the bizarre doll circus troop. Doll would take the place of joker as the ringleader and be forced to witness their family preform this way; Mirroring how joker felt watching the kids preform. But the difference is unlike joker who wouldn’t betray the Baron because of him believing his siblings at the work house would be punished, Doll currently does have any loyalties like that except to her family. So when they see what the undertaker has turned them in to Doll will do everything in their power to save them. Leading to them siding with O!ciel in the end.

But what do yall think? Let me know your thoughts or if I’ve missed something in the comments :)

Tags: @abybweisse

[cyaniku]

I was playing a lot of Bomb Rush Cyberfunk, and have been rollerblading more now that the weather's gotten nicer, so now I've got skating on the brain 😛 Also I recently rediscovered my Sonic Rush obsession, it's been making me want to draw Blaze more often- she is very underrated imo, my favorite Sonic character deserves more love~ Anyway my two interests collided and now we have ourselves a skateboarding Blaze 😎🔥(and no, I've never played Sonic Riders before).

I was debating what kind of skating gear I should give her for this drawing (rollerblades, BMX, etc.), I settled on a skateboard since there's a level in SRA where she and Sonic use snowboards, it's the next closest thing. 

Also here's some fun trivia for you: Hideki Naganuma composed the OST for the Rush series, he also made a few soundtracks in Bomb Rush Cyberfunk (and of course the Jet Set series that it was inspired by, which is what most people know him from)- I just learned that Blaze is also his favorite Sonic character as well! It can only mean one thing... my girl was destined be a skater kid >BD

[fairuzfan]

Sorry if I've missed info floating around! But is there like an idk level 2 boycott? I dont buy from places that are on the targeted boycotts list anyway, not interested in marvel so won't be watching the movie etc, but all the info I've seen on bds has been on targeted boycotting and nothing on the next best businesses to target

There is the Extreme List which basically includes every single big brand

The priority is the BDS list right now but feel free to boycott from these places as well. I would keep up with BDS as sometimes things get removed/changed based on actions taken with the parent company (like Pillsburry and Ben and Jerry's).

[clubdionysus]

[BAD DECISION #42] Hitting Where It Hurts

warnings: 'chess' :(, arguments, waaaa, jungkook is, once more, so painfully cewt :( perilla leaves! gasp... healthy... communication?? glitter koo! starluvrs <3

notes: im literally on a train back home from seoul as I schedule this, everyone say thank u korail wifi for being a bd enabler <3 but it's also why there's only one update again!! sorrryyy - I'll be better organised next week (famous last words)

wc: 8.7K

bd total wc: 540k (ongoing)

AO3 | MASTERLIST | MINORS DNI

"Piss off," you hiss with lethal venom when Jeongguk chases after you.

Shaking off the light grip he has on your arm. You continue walking away, not really where you're heading to. Away. That's all you can think of. All you want. Space. Separation

The skies above you are grey; clouds hiding away the early evening sun that's due to paint the skies in pretty purple bruises to match the ones on your heart.

"Byeol-" He tries again, voice desperate.

You turn to face him, arms folded over your chest, and are greeted with the exact same Jeongguk you had just stormed away from.

"I said to piss off. "

Chest bare, shorts on his lower half, he's everything that makes you salivate - and yet you feel sick, now. Hair damp, the small sheen of red looks buffed out, as if she tried to smudge it away while in pursuit of you - but the stain lingers. It always does.

Jeongguk's arms outstretch, then slap back down to his sides. He shakes his head in a little disbelief, as if he's the one questioning you. Is agitated in his tone when he speaks.

"Whatever you think just happened, didn't . You can't just storm off-"

"Oh, but I can," you smile at him, as if your eyes aren't thinly veiled daggers.

Turning on your heel once more, you decide against giving him the time of day.

Blood running far too hot within you veins, you know you'll only do damage if you discuss things with him now - but Jeongguk knows he has to talk about it with you now, otherwise you'll just try and sweep it under the carpet when you've cooled down.

It's how you always do it; hot in your immediate fury and frightfully cold in the aftermath.

A defence mechanism taught and reinforced by past relationships, it continues to wreck your ability to deal with things healthily. Whenever your ex would fuck up, he'd refuse to speak about it, and frustrate you to absolutely no end. Would anger you, and still, nothing. So you'd mellow. Give up trying.

The process is so worn into your existence now that you don't even realise why you get so annoyed in the first place, only to act like it's no big deal a little while later. Think that is just natural; that hurt, like a bomb, just explodes. Is white hot, until it's not, and all you're left with is debris and destruction.

"Please," Jeongguk says quietly.

Doesn't want to draw attention to what's happening. Other people don't need to know your business. Wants that bubble you were both in earlier to remain protected - but the lock has been picked, and the steel reinforcements are starting to collapse. It's only a matter of time until it all comes crashing down.

"No," is all you say.

"It wasn't what it looked like."

"It doesn't matter," you say softly, trying to respond rationally - but it comes across as a little psychotic. You know damn well it does.

Casting your eyes down to the ground, a slight shake to your head. The air around you is cold, waves crashing against the shoreline. It's a sombre state of affairs; the skies just as grey as your heart.

Walking a little closer towards Jeongguk, it seems as if the chill in the air has settled the red-hot blood screeching in your veins. Comes as a surprise to you both.

You're learning, or so it would seem.

Just because he continually makes the same mistakes of the past doesn't mean you will, too. You've a point to prove.

You sigh. Shrug your shoulders. Fuck it.

"Look," you offer with an air of maturity, trying a more level-headed approach.

It gets his head tilting. Was expecting war, and was perfectly willing to battle against it just for you to hear his truth. This... this is new.

"I don't know what led to the scene I walked in on - but I do know that you made consecutive, considered choices to get there," you assert. "What I saw is a product of your own choices and your total lack of consideration for me, Gguk. So, I don't wanna hear it. Save it for someone who cares - cause if you don't give a shit about me, why should I give one about you."

Okay, so maybe that air of maturity is a little clouded with childishness. So what?

"That's not fair," he pleads, needy in his tone, eyes soft as he tries to convey just how painfully he wishes he could undo it all - not that he even thinks he's done anything wrong. "Let me-"

"Maybe it's not fair," you admit, cutting him off with a sad shrug of your shoulders. At this point, you're not willing to discuss it rationally in any depth, but you also don't want to argue. Not really. Will only cause you more hurt. "But it is what it is. I'll see you at dinner."

"B, c'mon just hear-"

"Chess."

Ouch .

He shuts up immediately. Looks at you with such excruciating pain you wouldn't be surprised to see the red smudge on his chest begin to trickle with blood. Doesn't understand how a day that started in him declaring just how much he likes you is ending like this.

Perhaps that's the issue. Maybe he was toying with the strings of fate a little too prematurely. They might just be snapping back into place. That's all.

This is exactly why you knew better than to make any admission of your feelings.

Jeongguk's intentions are never bad, but sometimes his decisions are. Sometimes the choices he makes are the wrong ones.

You wish he would have chosen you.

In that moment, regardless of what transpired, you wish he would have chosen you.

Taken a step back, and said 'no .'

But he didn't.

And so you don't care for his excuses or his explanations. You don't care for the truth, because you're already reeling in your own.

Jeon Jeongguk is too good to be true.

You've always known this. He's too kind. Too funny. Too handsome. There always had to be a catch, and you've learned it the hard way: he's too forgiving.

And so you'll take it upon yourself to be everything he's not.

You'll be unkind. You'll find no humour in his jokes. Won't forgive him for how foolish he's made you feel.

Scatter-brained, you can't make heads or tails of your emotions. Pangs of heat, of burning anger, flare up and cool instantly. You're shades of red and green, and looking at Jeongguk only gets them muddled. Murky.

"Can you stop being like this?" Jeongguk eventually sighs, exasperated by his own desperation. "You know-"

"I'm not being like anything," you say, voice flat. "I just don't want to have this conversation right now."

"But we need to have this conversation," he replies immediately. His eyes scan your face, trying to get a read on you - but you're stoic. Refuse to give anything away. Spent your university years playing poker with your housemates. Can keep this up all night, if you really need to.

"No. What we need, Jeongguk, is-"

"To talk," he interrupts. "You won't even let me explain myself."

"Because I don't need an explanation," you insist, indifference just as hurtful as anger. "Look, it's fine. Consider that little label we agreed on earlier on a free trial. Money back guarantee if returned within five working days."

"I don't want my fucking money back," he spits, finally raising his voice a little. Knows you've the ability to be unreasonable, but rarely ever has to deal with it. Is used to your brattiness, but normally only when in pursuit of gratification. This is different. There's no pleasure gained from this, for either of you.

"It's already been deposited into your bank," you say with a smile. "Shame."

You don't want anything from him right now. Not even this conversation. Just want him to piss off, exactly like you told him to earlier.

"Fine," he snaps back.

"Fine!"

"Oh, grow up," he snarls, turning on his heel and heading back toward the house you'd both just left.

Typical. Always goes back.

But then the reality of his words weigh down on your chest.

Words uttered to you in the height of your glitterless days, when your heart used to get toyed around with sharp claws belonging to a man who'd look at you with kitten-like innocence.

Grow up.

Jeongguk pauses. Turns to face you. There's a shock to his expression. Surprise, as if he wasn't the one who just uttered words that he knows will tear apart the now-healed wounds left by Seokjin.

Silence lingers in the air between you. Down by the shore, the waves crash and crescendo, fading out into the abyss until they inevitably repeat as they always do.

There's a comfort to the ocean.

It's vast, and terrifying, yes, but it's also ever predictable. The waves will always roll. The creatures will always swim. The current will always change. Predictably unpredictable is the ocean, and you like it that way.

You've always thought you liked change. Liked the excitement that came with it.

Sitting here now, you realise you hate change. Hate what you can't control.

You wonder what Jeongguk's thinking about. If he's thinking at all, or if he's just focusing on the sound of the waves, too. If his heart feels just as horrible as yours does. It's as if he's taken it and rolled it around in the sand. It's gritty. Grainy. Marred in remnants of lifetimes lived before you came to be.

You want it back. Want to rinse your heart out in the waves that are rolling in, and place it back in your chest. You don't care if it will sting. Don't care about anything else - you just don't want to feel so stupid all the fucking time.

This is exactly why you weren't supposed to fall for Jeongguk. This is why it was never supposed to elevate to more than what it was. This is why it was so stupid of you to indulge in the idea of what if.

Shaking your head, eyes warm with tears that you refuse to let fall, you feel like you have nothing left to give.

But you do have the ability to bite back just as hard. You know you shouldn't - but you're hurt, and you want to hurt him too.

"You sound just like him."

If you thought Jeongguk looked devastated before, then you've no idea how to describe the way he falls apart now.

Though he remains on his feet, body strong, his eyes sink into a darkness you've never known. His posture slopes. Everything about him reduces like wood to ash in the midst of a forest fire. 'Anguish' sounds far too violent for the gentle way in which Jeongguk quietly crumbles, but it's the only thing that's remotely apt for his current expression.

"Don't compare me to him," he says. Swallows. "It's not fair."

But love and war never is.

"Don't do the same shit he did," you counter. "Then maybe I won't."

No goodbye is offered as you turn on your heel and head towards the house that Danbi's been staying in.

Jeongguk doesn't try to stop you this time. For some reason, even though you don't want to speak to him, you find that it only hurts even more.

But no matter how hurt you may feel, Danbi promises to hurt him tenfold.

"That little git," she hisses, quite frankly shocked by not only the argument you've just explained but also the circumstances that lead to it. She thinks perhaps he's self-sabotaging now that things are too good. Thinks, more likely, that he's just a twat who thinks with his dick.

And as much as she could rant and rave about how much of a swine he is, and how little he deserves you, it's not a conversation you want to be having.

She promises not to shout out at him - "I'm only doing this for Seoyeon and Yoongi. Anywhere else and I'd curse him out so badly I'd get locked up." - and tries to distract you with false deliberations over what she wants to wear. She's had it planned all day, but lets you 'help' choose her dress regardless.

"Go for the green," you nod, when Danbi holds up two nearly identical dresses. The only difference is that once is a pretty mint green and floor length, while the other is black and cuts off midway up her thigh. "Tae got a shirt that could coordinate?"

"Not sure, she hums, looking across the clothing rail where he's keeping his clothes. There's a crisp white dress shirt, a little oversized and relaxed, but so perfectly Taehyung. You know that together they'll look like they're off to Monaco, or some place fancy like that.

It's nice how interwoven Danbi and Taehyung have become; so entirely different and complementary all in the same vein. Like olive oil and balsamic vinegar, they really are the perfect pair. Maybe you can just be a baguette. Be the third wheel for all of eternity. That'd do nicely.

When you think about it, you're not even entirely sure what you saw by Jeongguk's door.

The mark on his chest could have been anything. Maybe he'd had a scratch? And he wears shades of grey near constantly . Maybe it was an article of his clothing on his bed?

But then you realise you're gaslighting yourself. You know what you saw.

Shuffling into her dress, Danbi holds her hair up for you to do her zipper. The dress finishes midway down her calves, and is ever so slinky. It highlights her figure in the best of ways, and she really does look gorgeous.

"Is it too much?" she asks, but you shake your head.

"As long as you don't upstage Seoyeon, you'll be fine - but I think she said she's wearing white, anyway. You'll be fine," you smile.

Still in your clothes from the Jilympics, you know you need to get ready. Don't want to go back to the house - so Danbi runs over to grab your bag and brings it back to her room. Gives Taehyung his shirt and tells him to get changed in the bathroom. Priorities.

"Figured you'd want this," she says, hooking up a dress on the back of the door. It's already on a hanger, but isn't one you recognise. Nabi's maybe, accidentally picked up from the common area - or worse still, Hayun's.

It's not really Hayun's style, and is too short for Nabi. Her legs go on for days, and the dress would barely cover her ass.

"Not mine," you say - but will admit, it is gorgeous.

"Hmm?" she hums. "Judas gave it to me as I was leaving. Said you'd want it."

Standing opposite the dress, you tilt your head. It's a cowl neck mini-dress. Silver. Covered in sparkles. If you didn't know better, you'd think it was a replica of Paris Hilton's iconic 21st birthday dress - just a little more tailored to your body shape. Slightly higher neckline, just to preserve a little bit more of the parts of your body Jeongguk adores.

"Or," Danbi begins to suggest, sensing that this was a gift intended to be given under far different circumstances. "Wear my black dress instead."

It's rare for you two to share clothes, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Once Tae is finished in the bathroom, Danbi leaves you to get ready. The dress situation plays over in your head - and it only serves to confuse you even more.

You've no idea what Jeongguk is thinking. Is feeling. What he wants, nor who he wants.

The sad thing is, you think that might be the issue: he just simply doesn't know who he wants.

Doesn't want you enough, evidently. They never do.

And it's funny, 'cause Jeongguk swears he can hear how his heart breaks when you walk into the main house later that evening, body wrapped in black satin, the dress he got for you still on the back of Danbi's door.

There's a tiny peek of lace from your bra that accents the low neckline of the black dress, and he hates that he knows exactly which set you're wearing. Knows he packed the full set for you, and that there's a corset-style garter belt that fits snugs around your waist somewhere close by.

He's got no idea if you're wearing it - and has no intention of finding out, either.

You're not concerned with making an entrance, and head straight over to Seoyeon first and enthuse with her over her pretty white dress - "Look at you!" "No, look at you!" - You give her a hug so tight Jeongguk can almost feel it. He pouts.

There's a spare seat beside him, and he already knows you won't be sitting in it.

But there are appearances to keep up, you think. Know that if you sit anywhere else, questions may be asked. It will be less noticeable to the others that you won't exchange a single word with him if you're sitting directly beside him.

The physical distance would indicate an emotional one too, and you really don't want to highlight it.

And so you sit beside him.

"B," he begins, but you shake your head.

He could just be greeting you, but he says the term of endearment in such a tone that you know means a little more than just casual formalities. Now is not the time for such conversations.

"Don't," you say quietly, so that no one else hears.

From your peripherals, you can see him sit up a little straighter, adjusting the dress shirt he's wearing. You've deliberately not given much of a second look. Don't want to see what he's chosen to wear - though you know it's a white shirt.

You feel insecure about your choice of attire, aware that Jeongguk must know what you're wearing beneath it. He's got an eye for detail. Notices these kinds of things.

He included it in your luggage because he likes it. By all metrics - right up to the way your hair claw-clipped away from your neck, long wispy strands waving around your face - you're everything Jeongguk wants.

And you hope it crushes him.

To your left is Namjoon, and opposite him, Hoseok. You engage in conversation with them, paying no mind to the man beside you, even if the silage of his aftershave and deep hum of his voice pulls your thoughts away. You're incredibly good at nodding and smiling along. Have worked in customer service for long enough to perfect it - and Hoseok's too busy trying to subtly flirt to realise you've got your 'work smile' on.

Taehyung is to the right of Jeongguk, Danbi next and then Seoyeon is sitting at the head of the table.

Opposite Danbi is Yoongi, leaving the seats opposite yourself, Jeongguk and Taehyung free.

You wonder if Jeongguk is just as apprehensive as you are about who'll be sitting where. The last thing you want is Hayun opposite you, but you don't particularly want her opposite Jeongguk, either. Don't want her here, full stop, to be honest.

It's not your call, though - and as Jimin takes the seat beside Yoongi, you know that this night is about to get far more uncomfortable than it already is.

Jeongguk glances over his shoulder, down towards you.

Regretfully - instinctively - you follow suit. Meet his gaze. Say nothing. Nor does he. There's a billion thoughts that could be running through his pretty head, but you know he's probably just cursing repeatedly.

Sort of like you are, when you realise there's a few speckles of glitter on his cheekbone. Not the kind he gets from spending a little too much time in your presence, by the kind that's deliberately put there.

The worst part?

You know exactly which glitter it is. Know it's yours. Know it's one that he has guardianship over, from all the times you've left your wands of liquid glitter at his place.

Know that it's one you've got multiple wands of, 'cause it's one of your favourites.

So much so that it's the one you chose to wear tonight.

You wanted comfort. Had found it in your chosen shield. Are crestfallen at the concept of Jeongguk doing the exact same thing.

Your awkward and slightly confusing focus is broken by the arrival of the final two guests.

"Finally," Seoyeon beams as her closest friends enter the main house.

"Sorry," Hayun smiles right back at her. "Fashionably late."

And as much as you hate to admit it, she's right. Looks like she belongs in a magazine. Is wearing formal, high-waisted black pants, cinched at her waist with a black leather belt and brassy buckle. She's foregone a shirt and appears to be wearing a lacy red bodysuit in its place, topped with a matching, oversized blazer.

You're no stranger to the underwear as formalwear trick, but she's so much more refined than you are. Far more demure. Her tits aren't covered with glitter, for starters.

It's not like your tits are glittery today (although there are always specks somewhere). Chose to keep to respectable glitter application.

Your eyes are sparkly as always. The liquid glitter both you and the boy next to you are wearing is the same one that you'd adorned Jeongguk in on New Year's Eve.

Poetic, sort of, you think as Hayun takes the seat opposite you.

Lips now her signature shade of red, you're reminded that it doesn't matter how Jeongguk is choosing to brand himself now, for he was branded by her, right over his heart, a few short hours earlier.

Sure, it was just a smudge - not like she'd fuckin' kissed it or whatever. At least, you don't think she did. The memory is a little blurry, adrenaline playing its part in diluting the intensity of the horror you'd seen.

Nabi takes the seat opposite Jeongguk, probably because Hayun knew she wasn't welcome beside Jimin.

Hayun doesn't notice the look on Hoseok's face as she sits, and how body slightly curves away from him.

"Now that we're all here," Yoongi voices a little louder than normal to make sure your attention is all geared towards him. Decides that he may as well get to his feet. Lifts the champagne flute that has been fizzing in front of him. You've all got one, freshly poured by the groom himself just before you'd arrived. "I'd like to propose a toast - to my fiancé. There's no one else I'd rather battle against in the Jilympics. I hope we never stop living life together."

He raises his glasses and everyone follows suit. Jimin is very pleased with the mention of the Jilympics. Nabi kicks him under the table when she notices his smug grin.

A chorus of 'To Seoyeon' echoes out into the room, smiles evident in the tone of the cheers. Simple, sweet and straight to the point, Yoongi's speech was the embodiment of himself.

For now, amongst friends, this will do.

Come the wedding day, he'll make a proper speech. Will be so bloody poetic that even the staff working the catering will cry.

Downing the champagne in one, you're pleased to see that Hoseok does the same. Decided that he will be your drinking partner for the evening. Ignore the fact that Jeongguk, too, downed his.

You don't refill his glass when you refill yours and Hoseoks.

It's rude. Bad table manners. The least he deserves.

Silence prevails between you both. Conversations are had with other people, but never one another. The iciness is easy to ignore, given the warmth of your loved ones.

But something's gotta give - and a few too many drinks in, main course now being absolutely inhaled, you're the one who makes the first move.

"The meat is amazing," you nod, brows furrowing as you swallow it down.

It's kinda hilarious how much you look like Jeongguk when you appreciate foods these days. Have somehow adopted his expressions into your own repertoire. Glancing over to him, you ask, "is this what you'd do for the restaurant? This cut of meat?"

Nodding, Jeongguk tries to hide the relief he feels at the fact that you're talking to him. Even you're sort of surprised with yourself, and how easily you're able to speak to him, even when you're mad.

"Will be the signature cut and cook," he says of the meat. Keeps it simple. "It's my favourite. I'm glad you like it."

It's not hard to see why Jeongguk likes it so much. Tender and juicy, it's packed full of flavour all from a simple grilling.

"Here," he says, passing over a small pot of sea salt for you to dip the meat into. "Try."

It's not exactly a unique combination, but it is your favourite - and Jeongguk knows this.

He deliberately didn't set up a salt dish near you, just so that you'd have to ask for it - but finds himself relenting and making life easier for you regardless of the fact you didn't request it. Doesn't want you to ever miss out on the things you love, after all.

And as much as you hate yourself for it, you find yourself reciprocating, passing him the banchan that's a little too far from him. Fill up his stock of ssam leaves with your own when he runs out, 'cause he prefers wrapping his meat up, whereas you like eating it by itself.

Leaning over to lend a hand, an ease now established between you both, you think nothing of it when he's grabbing some perilla.

The fermentation process that the leaves go through make them notoriously hard to separate. Honestly, you never normally bother. Just take a few at a time - but it's clear Jeongguk is after just a single leaf. Trapping the excess leaves beneath your chopsticks, you aren't even really looking at him, as you do so.

Until he pauses his movements, and furrows his brows in that ever-so-curious fashion he always does.

"Hmm?" you sound, question his pause, then figure maybe he's after a wad of them after all. Pull your chopsticks away. "Oh, sorry. Thought you only wanted one."

"I do," he says quietly. "Just one."

Never before have you seen a man speak so carefully regarding fermented leaves.

"Okay..." you elongate your acceptance, posing it almost as a question. Leaning back over, you swipe your chopstick between the leaves. Get him two in one, so put it down in your dish and nod towards it. "You split it."

This time, he manages easily, even if he's barely able to take his eyes off of you.

"Are you, like, possessed by the perilla leaves or something?" you ask quietly, so that no one else will hear.

He shakes his head. Finally looks away from you. "No. Sorry."

You're no stranger to the superstitions that come with the sacred peeling of perilla leaves - you just had no idea that Jeongguk seems to be obsessed with them, too.

The debate regarding the leaves had been a hot topic for a little while. Everyone and their dog seemed to have an opinion on the matter. TV panel shows would spend entire segments discussing it. Even boy bands were weighing in and driving their fans crazy with their thoughts on it all.

What you'd found far more interesting was the psychological studies done in the wake of it all, aligning people's stances with their attachment styles.

Jeongguk, it would appear, has more of an anxious attachment style. Checks out, you think.

From across the table, Hayun stays focused on anything other than the pair of you. It's light relief.

"B," Jeongguk begins, but you shake your head, not wishing for him to forget that he's still very much in the dog house.

"No," you simply say, quiet enough so that no one else hears. You won't entertain him, but you won't embarrass him, either. "We're not having a friendly chat."

There's an uncomfortable discord in your chest; a sombre disposition that makes your lungs stutter a little.

You could cry, if you wanted to.

Could be a big baby, and let everyone know that you've got a big stupid crush on your best friend.

Could look Hayun dead in her eyes with your own (bloodshot) pair, and question why she insists on being such an insidious, vapid twat all the time.

Could ask Jeongguk why he lets her.

Could ask the rest of them why they let her bad behaviour slide, and why none of them give a fuck about Jeongguk and what he went through.

Could turn to him, a pathetically ask why he doesn't give a fuck about what you went through.

But he does .

All Jeongguk ever fucking does is care . He showers you in affection, and makes you feel like there's a world out there in which men can be good. Kind. Decent without the expectation of your body in return.

He looks at you with honest eyes, and laughs with you without reservation. He gives you the world, and in return, you give him the stars.

His world is forever changed by you, and you know damn well that whatever happened in the confines of his room this afternoon is incomparable to whatever stunts Seokjin used to pull.

And yet it just hurts so much more.

You're devastated by the idea that maybe he'll never let go of Hayun.

He's a hopeless romantic, after all. Probably thinks they're star-crossed, or some dumb shit like that.

But Jeongguk has never cared for Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet is only worth watching if it's the Baz Luhrmann one, as far as he's concerned - and he only watches it for the vibes.

Stars don't mean shit to him.

You're the only one that does.

No matter how fleeting, you're the shooting star that he'll wish upon day after day after day. Week after week. Month after year.

Of those wishes, none of them will be for him.

Shooting star? I wish B has a good evening.

Tossing coins at Yonggungsa temple? I wish B doesn't get blisters.

Spotting a rogue Yakult lady pushing her cart? I wish B has a delicious lunch.

Birthdays? I wish B knows how happy I am.

New year? I wish B achieves everything she wants.

Wishbones? I wish B this, I wish B that.

Horseshoes? B, B, B.

Eyelashes on cheeks? God, it's you .

Only you. Has been for fuckin' months. Can't remember the last wish he wasted on himself.

It's not even like they're the big wishes. Just tiny ones. Improvements for your day. Bettering your life. Easing your ailments.

If he were to be granted a wish right now, Jeongguk would wish for only one thing:

I wish B would hold my hand.

For once, it is a selfish wish. Something of which he knows won't come true. Something that would ease his discomfort. Would make him feel better.

As you adjust in your seat, mid-conversation with Namjoon, your legs crossed over, shutting Jeongguk even further out. Wine glass in the hand closest to Namjoon, your other hand strokes at the silky fabric of your dress, along the outer side of the thigh you've just crossed over. It's self-soothing. Something you don't even realise you do.

Jeongguk mirrors you. Twists his body away from you to face the conversation he's pretending to be interested in. Crosses his legs, 'cause he's closing off from you, too.

You know it's happening. Can see it in your peripherals. Feel it in the way your heart tugs. In a way, it's kind of nice for him to match your energy. At least you still match in some regards. Small victories.

Namjoon is telling you about some guy he was trying to track down for an interview. Something about baked beans, and world records. You're not really entirely sure, 'cause you're a little wine drunk, and you're only half invested, one ear listening out in case Hayun makes any snide remarks, or Jeongguk for that matter.

So subtle at first that you don't even notice it, you realise the soft brush of warm skin against your knuckles.

Fingertips.

A call to attention.

When you glance over to Jeongguk, ever so handsome in his white shirt and slightly messy hair, he's entirely focused on the conversation he's in. Doesn't turn to look at you.

Yet his fingers continue to stroke against yours. Refocusing back on your conversation, you don't pull your hand away. Instead, you let him trace your hand with his own. Let him toy with your fingers. Pretend as if your heart rate hasn't increased to a mile a minute.

And you know you should pull away, and that you shouldn't let him indulge in such simple pleasure - but you just can't help yourself.

You want the comfort that comes with being held by Jeongguk - even if it's just your hand beneath a dining table. Public yet private. A hushed declaration. Feelings yelled from the rooftop of a busy city, unheard to anyone but the yeller themselves.

You ease your fingers. Let them link with his. Take a deep breath as he intertwines with you.

Like an English rose up an oak pergola, the fit is seamless. Thorns count for nothing, the buds of how you feel blossoming with every stroke of his thumb against yours.

It's so painfully perfect. Hurts, and heals all in the same touch.

It wasn't what it looked like.

Your choice has been made; confirmed by how your grip tightens.

Maybe it's stupid. Maybe you should know better. Maybe you'll grow to regret it.

But for now, you choose to trust Jeongguk. Choose to believe that it really wasn't what it looked like. Believe that he does want to explain himself. That he will explain himself. That his explanation will be honest, and understandable, and reasonable.

Lord knows you've trusted others with far more for far less.

Even if the roses do wilt, and you're left with nothing but thorns in a hostile climate, at least you're somewhat comforted, now.

Glancing over to him, you're surprised to find him looking over at you, too.

Even more surprised when you both decide to linger for a moment.

There's an earnest nature to the way he looks at you. Big, round eyes, deep with affection. Full of stars. Always fuckin' full. So many for you to make wishes upon.

He tips his head slightly. You okay?

You reciprocate. I'm okay. Are you?

With a squeeze of your hand and soft, fleeting smile, Jeongguk nods. He's clearly not okay, but there's nothing more you can do right now. Both of you are lying, but you're both well aware of it, so it doesn't really count.

His eyes flick down your body, then back to your eyes. Lips move ever so gently. Silently express the word, 'pretty .'

It's accidental, the small smile that blooms on your blushed cheeks. You shake your head. Wordlessly mouth back, 'fuck off.'

And then he smiles, too. Lip ring flips in the corner of his mouth. Rids your heart of all heaviness, even if it does sorta look like you'll both cry.

"DB?" Your attention is pulled away from Jeongguk. Dropping his hand, you turn to face Namjoon. Hum a little in confusion.

"Sorry, I missed that last part. What were you saying?"

Jeongguk returns to the conversation he'd left, too. Runs the pad of his thumb against his fingers, savouring the way you felt. Is okay with the loss of your touch, for he's grateful to have had it all.

The evening continues peacefully. You're pulled into conversations that include Hayun, and act as if it's no skin off your back.

Get into the age old Peperro debate, and learn that she likes the reverse, nudes ones too, like you. Group yourself together with her, when you say "It's not our fault we're girlies with taste."

By framing yourself as an equal, you hope that she'll stop viewing you as a rival. Will make life so much easier if she just accepts the fact that you exist, and will continue to exist.

It confuses Jeongguk. Gets his hand on your thigh, tipsy eyes narrowing in your direction, as if to ask, 'what are you up to?'

If you were to think about it critically, you'd realise that you're trying to get her on side. Trying to make her like you - not because you want to be friends, but because you are certain she must have a moral compass hidden away somewhere. If she likes you, hopefully she'll be less inclined to fuck with Jeongguk. Respect boundaries.

"Come for a walk?" you ask quietly, a little tipsy and finally ready to speak to him.

He nods and gets to his feet without hesitation.

"Walking off some of this soju," he declares to the group, not even thinking about it. Wants to be out of the room, and out of the room asap. "Wanna still be able to out-perform you fuckers later."

The noraebang system is calling your names, like it always is after a few drinks, and it's where you intend on ending up come the end of the night.

"Oh, good shout," Jimin nods, about to join - and then realises the subtle shake of Jeongguk's head. "...For you. Good shout for you . We're all okay. Another round? Anyone?"

Danbi laughs, and begins to pour out shots, distracting everyone else as you get up to join Jeongguk. He's about as subtle as a siren, but you're both wine-drunk. Need to have this conversation before you've mixed too many drinks and it all gets a bit messy.

Leaving your shoes inside, you walk barefoot across the lawn, arms folded over your chest. Jeongguk had stepped into a pair of sliders that he's pretty sure belong to Jimin, given the fact they're a little too small.

"Stars look great from the beach," Jeongguk says, wanting to be as far away from the house as possible. Needs this moment with you to be uninterrupted.

You'll go wherever the stars shine brightest, and Jeongguk will follow.

There's a vast emptiness to the ocean at night. It's sort of terrifying, in a way.

Yet as Jeongguk comes to sit down beside you, the only thing that scares you is the potential for everything to fall apart.

He takes a moment to stall. Points out a constellation hidden in the twinkling abyss above you. Needs this conversation to happen, but fears it, too.

"So..." you whisper.

"So," he nods. Knows that over-explaining will open himself up to scrutiny, but needs you to know everything. "Can we talk?"

You take a moment. "You talk. I'll listen."

It's as good as he'll get. Inhales and sharply exhales. Is slow as he begins to explain.

"I didn't realise anyone was in the house when I got out of the shower. Only thought to put my shorts back on 'cause I remembered Jimin coming in unannounced earlier."

"Okay," you accept. Seems like he can learn from his mistakes. Wonder if the same can be said for his mistakes with Hayun. "Then?"

"S'gonna sound like such a lie," he laments. Knows what it looks like. Knows that you'll likely still be sceptical. Remaining quiet, you let him continue. Maybe it will sound like a lie, but that's up for you to decide. All he can do is give you his honesty. "You know how the stairs jut out a little? And the downstairs bathroom is kind tucked away?"

You silently nod. Hadn't really ever thought much of it - but he's right.

"Hayun-" he's careful not to call her 'Yun' - "was coming out of the bathroom, and I was sort of, like, skipping down the stairs? Going fast, you know how I do. Hands on either side of the bannister."

You know it well; how he just swings himself down flights of stairs, as if he's still a kid. It's sweet. Sometimes . Annoying, and really irritating when you're behind and he's gearing himself up to gain momentum - but also cute when he clears five steps at a time and has the hugest smile on his face after he reaches the end.

"Thought I was alone," he reinforces. "Cleared, like, six in one go. Was pretty impressive, actually."

"Well done," you smile, like the proud parent of their bat-shit crazy child.

"Thanks," he grins, but quickly resumes seriousness. "Anyways, had a little too much momentum, didn't realise she was coming out of the bathroom, and couldn't stop myself in time."

Doesn't take a genius to work it out. You can picture it all in your head. Him, her. The stuff of K-dramas. The collision you always thought would be between the pair of you happening with her instead.

"She uses, like, this stain stuff - the red. It's not like, the sticks," Jeongguk tries his best to recall the right terms, but honestly his brain is just full of glitter these days. "It's in a tube - anyways, not important." 

You hate that he knows this - but it makes sense. He's always been attentive. It kind of is important, but you let him go on. 

"Takes a while to dry," he continues. "And she'd just done her makeup, and like - I tried to stop myself, I really did, but you know it's like. Anyways -"

He holds up both of his hands. Keeps one in place, while the other slaps against it. The sound echoes in time with a crashing wave, the truth of the lipstick mark revealing itself.

"Literally nearly knocked her out," he says, then pouts a little. "If anything, you should be-"

"I'm not thanking you," you laugh, cutting him off before he gets the chance to demand it. "Still doesn't explain-"

"The door," he nods. "I know."

There's a pause, Jeongguk giving you a chance to say something - anything - before he continues. Instead, you just look out to the ocean and play with the sand a little mindlessly.

"Nearly wiped her out. Asked if she was okay, and she just... I dunno, she just sorta started crying and like - I didn't know what to do," he stresses. "Can count on one hand the amount of times I've seen her cry," he admits, and the statistic doesn't surprise you whatsoever.

She doesn't strike you as the type to wear her vulnerabilities on her sleeve.

In much the opposite fashion, it had taken Jeongguk by surprise when the water works started. He wasn't really sure what to do. Isn't an awful person, so didn't wanna just walk away when another human being was quite clearly in distress - especially as he seemed to trigger it.

"Things are just..." she had sobbed, exasperated with the state of her life. Nothing had gone to plan. Even her back up options were lost to her, now. The things she had been certain she'd achieve were hanging in the wastelands, and she had nothing to show for it. "They're shit, Gguk. Everything is shit."

The cynical side of Jeongguk thought she only had herself to blame.

But the side of him you adore endless - the compassionate, kind, gentle side - had taken pity.

"That's not true," he'd said. " You've got a good family. Good friends. Skills. This is just a blip. Things'll straighten themselves out eventually. They always do."

This only made her cry even harder.

Why he had to be so fucking nice to her all the time, she'd never understand. She'd been a cow, and was well aware of that. No matter how much she was trying to make right her wrongs, she knew that irreparable damage had been done. Many things, is Hayun, but naive not one of them.

Weak, is another thing she refuses to be. Refuses to let anyone see her cry. Asked to talk to Jeongguk a little more privately - and he was desperate to cover himself up. Was well aware he was half naked. Didn't really feel comfortable.

"Was a lapse in judgement," he admits to you. "Should have told her to wait outside, or go to her room, or something. Just sort of thought the quicker I get a shirt on, the quicker I could stop feeling so uncomfortable. I headed in first, she followed behind. Didn't even realise she'd locked it. Think she was scared of people seeing her cry."

You scoff a little at this. Refuse to think he thought the process was really that innocent.

"Anyways, you came in, she freaked. I went to open the door, realised it was locked," he explains, taking a deep breath. Shakes his head. Replays the memories.

"I don't want her to see me like this," Hayun had hissed.

"Yeah," he'd called out to you, rushing to unlock it.

"Don't open it. Please."

Furrowing his brows, Jeongguk had shook his head. Whispered, "I have to."

Was a no-brainer to him.

"Just gimmie a second," he had called through the door, now on the other side of it. Waved his hand in the air indicating she should get out of sight if she didn't want to be seen. In that split moment, it seemed like a logical compromise.

By the time he'd opened the door, your face was already contorted with confusion.

The realisation of how terrible it looked hit him quickly. Didn't even realise she'd tossed her jacket down. Just knows it was a series of unfortunate events that'd give even Lemony Snicket a run for his money.

"I know I'm a fuckin' idiot," Jeongguk says. "I do the wrong things and I say dumb shit, but Byeol I'd never fuck you over like that. What's the point in me making a big song and dance this morning about how much I don't wanna lose you, only to do something that would jeopardise that completely?"

You shrug. Sniff back little tears you didn't even realise you'd been holding in.

"Boys are stupid."

"I know." He reaches out for you, and you find yourself just melting into his touch as he drags you into his lap. Jeongguk wraps his arms around you - and you just let him. Lips pressing a firm kiss into your hair, he squeezes you tightly. "B, I meant everything . Love the way I feel when I'm with you. Don't wanna lose it."

Tepid as you turn your head to face him, your hands tentatively find their home beneath his strong jaw. He closes his eyes. Inhales. Feels so fucking at peace.

And when your nose nudges up against his?

Oh, he's home .

"I'm sorry," he whispers - and you punctuate his apology with a soft kiss to his lips, that have been longing to feel yours for hours, now. He shakes his head a little. Laments. "So stupid. So fukin' stupid."

But then you shake your head, too.

You were presented with evidence, and decided to take a pole vault to it. Jumped to conclusions that reached even greater heights than you thought were possible.

"I should have heard you out," you admit. Takes two to tango when it comes to the dance of miscommunication. "I'm sorry for not doing that."

He just shrugs.

"I get why you didn't... but B, I'm not him," he says quietly, still hurt by your earlier accusation. "I... Look, I know I didn't dress it up in flowery words, and that I sort of made a joke about it all, but I want this. Whatever this is. I want it. Want you."

And as his lips sink into yours, you know that lies are something he's no longer capable of.

"I'll give you a nice fuckin' label," he promises. "Tell anyone who ever asks, if you like. You're my best fuckin' friend. No one else comes above you. No one. Whatever you want to label us as, that's what we'll be. Whatever you want, B."

"And what about what you want?" You ask, forehead against his, the weight of his words light and yet incredibly heavy in the same fleeting moment.

Friends? Lovers? Partners?

Together?

The options are endless. Daunting.

And yet Jeongguk seems unphased.

But of course he is. Been so scared of losing you that he's been hesitant with his honesty, and now realises it's completely counterproductive.

"Told you already," he whispers. "Want you ."

"You're drunk."

"Doesn't matter."

"You won't remember this in the morning."

"Then remind me," he says. "It'll come right back."

"Confident, aren't you, Koo?" You giggle, and Jeongguk knows that he's done for. That name. Gets him every goddamn time. "Thought you were scared of rejection?"

"Don't reject me for the sake of the birds." He pleads, now. Begs . A kiss is pressed to your lips, heart swelling in your chest. "Rejection doesn't scare me anymore, B. Losing you does."

"I don't think this is on the birds, anyways," you whisper. "Don't think anything we do these days is."

Crazy how everything changes and yet Jeongguk remains exactly the same, in his own, strange way.

"You'd be surprised," Jeongguk smirks. Presses his lips against yours to stop you from immediately responding.

There's only a few birds left hanging above his bed - but there is a new addition. One he added the day he arrived home from Busan. One that gets his hands all clammy just thinking about it.

Pulling away, Jeongguk is so pleased to see you smiling.

"I'm scared," you admit. Sort of just blurt it out. Feel the need to let him know that you'll need your hand held.

"Yeah," Jeongguk nods. "Me too - but we've always been pretty good at facing our fears together, right?"

"Right," you say, biting down on your bottom lip, cheeks full, eyes sparkling even in the dark of night. "Seriously though - will you even remember this in the morning?"

"Never felt more sober."

"Okay...," you nod, not believing him in the slightest. "Well, ask me again about a label in the morning."

"So you are rejecting me."

"No," you laugh. "I'll say yes. I just want to make sure it's something you actually want to do."

"I'm sure," he insists - but you're still a little hesitant. Don't want to rush anything. Had been christened with a label earlier that day, only to revoke it a few hours later. Seems a little premature to assign another.

"Anyways, we've been on a 'walk' for ages," you hum, getting to your feet, dusting sand from your lap. The topic is being changed, and Jeongguk knows to let it. To respect your choices. Follows you as you lead him back to the house, where you can already hear the noraebang session has started.

"Let's face it," Jeongguk smirks. "Jimin's probably told them all we've gone for a shag."

He has.

It's confirmed when Jeongguk gets him in a headlock, and Jimin squirms away from the noogie he's receiving, saying, "You better have washed your hands, you nasty fucker."

And so, while Jimin is still trapped within the handlock, Jeongguk rubs his flat palm all over Jimin's face. It's only fair.

Jimin's like a cartoon character in the way he pretends to vomit - as if his hands haven't also touched a little less than appropriately. Boys. Idiots.

"Fuck off," you laugh at the commotion. "We were just down by the beach. The stars are super bright tonight. You should go look."

Danbi welcomes you onto the sofa with her, arms outstretched, pulling you in for a hug. Snuggling up to your best friend, you both squeeze one another so tightly you might burst.

"Nabi and Hayun just got 86," she quietly says of the noraebang system, just for you to hear. "We gotta beat them."

Nodding, you agree. "We will."

"You and loverboy okay?"

"So much to tell you," you laugh. Pull out of the hug and twist your back to click it. Consider how much you want to divulge. Decide that you'd much rather just get drunk. "But yeah."

"Did he grovel?"

"Oh yeah."

"Good. Explain himself?"

"Mhmm."

"Commit any sins?"

"Only the sin of being a big fuckin' idiot."

Danbi smiles. Notices you're sparkling again. Glances over to Jeongguk, and finds he's looking over at you, sparkling too.

"We can live with that."

[breakfastteatime]

What do you want to see in Jedi:Unknown title (jedi 3)? Could be gameplay, story, or anything related to the game.

In absolutely no order whatsoever, my Jedi 3 wishlist!

EVERYBODY LIVES. Do you HEAR ME, Respawn?!?!??! They get to live out their days on Tanalorr!!!!

While I'd love for Kata to not be Force-sensitive (Greez and BD will be outnumbered!), I don't think that'll happen, so I'd love it if they stuck with the theme so far that the Force doesn't belong solely to the Jedi, so Kata can choose her own path... maybe a more sisterly path... Or just a path that doesn't necessarily adhere to the Jedi way. Cal is so haunted by the Jedi's past (he spends most of Survivor exploring the Order's ruins after all), that I wonder if he'd even want to teach Kata how to be a Jedi of old.

Speaking of Kata, I really want her relationship with Cal to be more of a struggle. Regardless of her whole 'It changed Papa' line, she is still living with the man who murdered her father and the woman who helped him do it. I'm not interested in happy families because that's too easy.

There's a line in Survivor about how dangerous the leftover Raiders are, and we do see them fighting alongside the Brood, sooooo RAIDERS BROOD TEAM UP! And a final showdown with Sorc Tormo because Cal deserves to put an end to his nonsense once and for all.

Cal's ongoing struggle with the darkness. I don't want that to be the main focus of the game, but I want to see him finding his own way through. I know, I know, Cere told him to lead 'her' through the darkness, but how about he just takes five to check in on his own wellbeing?!

More psychometry too, especially now we know Cal can turn people's memories against them. Oh, and he can walk through someone's dreams because of his psychometry. I love how Survivor hinges on it at multiple points.

Logically, there has to be some kind of existential threat to Tanalorr or the Hidden Path in the next game... but not the kind that results in Cal sacrificing himself. Please, just ONCE, can we get a happy ending?!? Cal dying would make the other two games feel so pointless and empty.

No connections to anything Disney+ related because none of it is very good. YEAH, I SAID IT. Also, if you had Obi-Wan Kenobi showing up, he's really gonna overshadow Cal in his own damn game. Vader gets away with it because he's used really sparingly, but you start busting out Kenobis or Solos, we're gonna have a problem (or I am anyway).

A flashback in which Cere and Cal share a hug. I can't believe Survivor denied us T_T

Cal reaching a master's level of power in combat. They did such a good job developing his abilities in Survivor, so I'm sure they'll smash it in the next game too. What I'm saying is perfect bolt reflection with EVERY lightsaber, not just the double-bladed.

THE ZEFFO RETURN!!!! Okay, no, maybe not...

Greez gets to start his Pyloon's franchise.

No, seriously, Nightsister Kata is more interesting to me than Jedi Kata, so maybe Merrin gets to play the mentor (not happening, I know... SIGH)

Please please please don't let Cal's default clothing be more traditional. I don't like him in robes because they seem so at odd with his lifestyle and how athletic he is.

The son of the son of Oggdo Boggdo.

There's probably more but that's about everything I can think about right now. Thanks for the Ask!

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Humongous home in the water. 2012 gigantic floating home in Seattle, WA. 3bds, 3ba, asking $3.6M, reduced $300K. House is situated at the end of the Freemont Cut that branches out to Lake Union.

Here you can see that it's chained to the dock. I would check them frequently. There's a terrace, as well as, a lower deck.

The color of the wood resembles the kind that would be on a high-end yacht.

Beautiful big kitchen. I like the black counters against the color of the wood.

Love the built-in dining area. Pantry shelves behind the glass door next to the fridge.

The formal dining room. This home is definitely a modern Craftsman style. Look at the classic columns and cabinetry.

Built-in sideboard.

There's also a large serving window from the kitchen and a cozy woodburning stove. On this side, it opens to the sun room.

Beautiful closeup view of the river.

Living room with cabinets & columns.

I also love the wainscoting. This home has 3 levels. (What is keeping it afloat?)

The primary bedroom has a sitting area and stairs to an upper level sitting area with a better view. Also not the wood ceilings throughout that match the floors.

The en-suite is very large and the jetted tub has a view.

Walk-in closet.

Bd. #2 has an adorable bath with a pedestal sink and modern version of a clawfoot tub.

It even has a home theater.

Double doors open to the outside deck and on the left there's a cozy sleeping nook.

The large deck has a sitting area and a terrace above with a table and chairs.

All lit up at night.

[lilyginnyblackv2]

The Name of Kyutaro’s Cafe is “Mistletoe.”

Yadorigi (ヤドリギ・宿り木) means “mistletoe” in Japanese.

I’m bringing this up now, because the new interview that went up on the official website (which will be linked to in the comments below) is with Kyutaro’s VA. It makes me believe that Kyutaro is going to get some focus in this week’s episode, which means that a lot of things are pretty open to exploration, given the fact that Kyutaro has some level of knowledge about:

- Miri and Misaki

- Rei’s Past & Situation (He mentioned that Rei knew how hard it was to leave an organization, likely implying Rei left his father’s organization)

- Ryo Ogino & The Death of Yuzuko

Any of these topics could come into play in Episode 8 (we may even get multiple topics overlapping and connecting to each other).

I found the VAs view on the relationship between Miri, Kazuki, and Rei to be rather interesting. He sees the dynamic less as “Parent - Child” and more as three siblings. I don’t necessarily agree with that myself, but it’s always intriguing to see others POVs on things like this. I do agree with Kyutaro’s VA when it comes to Buddy Daddies being a “human drama” in which ‘the characters grow up by overcoming the challenges and themes that are imposed on them.” BD really is all about the characters first and foremost, which is why I like it so much. I tend to be drawn to shows that are character studies with some action and drama thrown in to spice things up a bit.

This post is a bit long, so I’ll be placing the rest of this under a Read More.

Anyway, wrapping this back around to “mistletoe.” I’m sure you all are thinking about the way mistletoe is often utilized in many modern day medias (especially in the USA) - kissing under a mistletoe and its ties to Christmas in particular and the holiday season. Buddy Daddies first episode takes place on Christmas Eve, a very couples focused holiday and day in general in Japan.

But, for children around Miri’s age, there is a bit of a family aspect to Christmas. Toddlers in Japan will likely believe in Santa, and toddlers and children will likely get a gift or two.

But this time frame when Santa is real and kids get gifts is very short-lived in Japan, usually by 1st or 2nd Grade there really isn’t a belief in Santa  and the family focus is shifted away from the holiday once children start reaching pre-teen years. This is talking very generally and about children who have two Japanese parents, rather than ones that may come from families with mixed nationalities where one of the parents may come from a country where Christmas is a family focused holiday on level with New Years in Japan. 

So, I do find it interesting that Buddy Daddies chose to pick a holiday that, in Japan, is more often associated with romantic relationships, rather than familial ones, but turn their focus on the very fleeting time frame when Christmas does have a bit of a more familial air about it. 

But, at the same time, we have the imagery of Kazuki visiting The Mistletoe Cafe alone the day before Christmas Eve:

Then Kazuki and Rei meet Miri on the job, on Christmas Eve, a holiday usually reserved for couples, but which is made family focused in Buddy Daddies through Miri and her desire to see her Papa, and with the beginning of Rei, Kazuki, and Miri becoming a family (though none of them know it at the time).

And then visiting The Mistletoe Cafe with Rei the next day after their job, which is on Christmas Day:

Something which is a very rare occurrence in general for Rei (to be out and about in general, not just at the café).

Of course, mistletoe has symbolic meanings to it as well. It can also mean “surmounting difficulties” and was viewed as a plant with healing power to the Celtic people. It has also been associated with fertility, good luck, and great blessings. Kazuki and Rei learning to heal and gain some good luck back into their lives through the arrival of Miri (a child) fits into these themes well, especially since they “gain” all of these things through a job they received at The Mistletoe Cafe. 

The Japanese kanji for mistletoe is made up of the kanji 宿 (yado・ru) , which is used in words associated with inns, dwellings, homes, and even pregnancy. The other word is 木 (ki), which means “tree.” This fits because of how mistletoe make their “homes” in trees and shrubs, and this all fits with Kazuki and Rei turning their house (which is a pretty dangerous place for a kid at first) into a home.

And, finally, mistletoe is a parasitic plant.

It’s also a poisonous plant, specifically if you eat any part of the plant or if you drink tea created from the plant or its berries. So, rather an appropriate name for a café that is a front for a hitman organization. 

Anyway, that’s all. I figured I’d share this bit of information since it looks like Kyutaro’s character is going to get more focus in Episode 8, though without a preview out yet, I can’t say this with too much certainty. Just a hunch based on the interview being released (usually there is some connection made between the interview they release before the episode and the contents of the episode). If anyone has anything else they would like to add to this, please feel free! :D

[loupy-mongoose]

How I've collected an Army of Mews. :3

@puzzled-zebra asked me in a chat how I get my Mews, and it made me realize something. While I did make a post awhile back talking about how I easily get my Mew characters in-game, there are a few aspects that I feel need more attention (some of which I've learned since that post). So I figured I'd make a new and improved, deeply in-depth post about it! :3

It is important to know, though, that the Mews (and Jirachis) obtained this way are SHINY LOCKED! You cannot reset for a shiny this way! (I have a post about how I got Akoya here~)

The Lindens, the Branch crew, and my first gift Mew Pearl. All safe and sound in Scarlet. :3 Every Mew here except Akoya was obtained in Shining Pearl.

What you need: Nintendo Switch/Lite Brilliant Diamond OR Shining Pearl Let's Go: Pikachu OR Let's Go Eevee (For Mew) Sword OR Shield (For Jirachi)

First off, it's best to do do this on a user with HOME access for a few different reasons. First and foremost, Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl has a lock that makes it so you can send ONLY ONE Mew per file into HOME! I learned this the hard way, as I made the mistake of stockpiling my Mews in a Shining Pearl file, only to find out that I had go through convoluted hoops to get them all into HOME. XD This issue is ONLY present in BDSP--Sword and Shield, and Scarlet and Violet do not lock you in this way and you can transfer as many Mews as you want to your hearts content. (Currently--please don't change it GameFreak!) (I don't fully understand the mechanics of it all, but Mews obtained in previous games pass through this lock--Akoya and Randy were consistently able to be put in HOME together from the same file. It's only when they're obtained in BD/SP that the lock applies, or so I understand.)

The second reason for HOME access is, you have to beat the first Gym to do this method. I have in the past done it using the starter Piplup and catching Starlys and Shinxes, but if you have access to HOME and powerful Pokemon, then you can borrow some to help you get through. I use the Linden Shiny Squad since their levels are between 65-70. They scarcely listen to me, but when they do, it insta-KO's their opponents. (I recommend having Piplup or a Lv. 10-ish powerful Pokemon on hand, especially for Roark's Onix, as it has Sturdy. I have had them all disobey themselves to death.)

Make sure you put your borrowed 'mons back into HOME before deleting the file, if you want to do so!

How it works is, there's a lady in Floaroma Town that will give you a Mew, at Level 1. (The guy next to her will give you a Jirachi at Level 5 as well.) In order for her to give it to you, you need to have save data of LG;P or E on the same user. It doesn't matter how far in the LG file is; it just needs to be to the point that you can save the game. And you don't need to touch it after you save--One LG save gets you as many Mews as you restart BD/SP for. (For Jirachi it's the same, but instead of LG save data you need Sword or Shield save data.)

So you start BD/SP, play up to Floaroma, and boom, Mew! You can save by the lady and reset for a specific nature, and even name it! With the Shiny Squad's help it takes me roughly an hour of play time to get to that point.

Anyway, a little long-winded, but I thought I'd put this out there for peeps who have the means and want to build their own in-game army of adorable pink cats. :3

[bloghrexach]

💥 … good news!!! — July 20, 2024!!

By: LaillaB, founder of ‘Reclaim the Narrative’, from LinkedIn …

“As Israel's genocidal war against Gaza continues unabated, the Israeli economy is facing a catastrophe.

The economic indicators speak of nothing less than an economic catastrophe.

Over 46,000 businesses have gone bankrupt, tourism has stopped, Israel's credit rating was lowered, Israeli bonds are sold at the prices of almost "junk bonds" levels, and the foreign investments that have already dropped by 60% in the first quarter of 2023 (as a result of the policies of Israel's far-right government before October 7) show no prospects of recovery.

The majority of the money invested in Israeli investment funds was diverted to investments abroad because Israelis do not want their own pension funds and insurance funds or their own savings to be tied to the fate of the State of Israel.

This has caused a surprising stability in the Israeli stock market because funds invested in foreign stocks and bonds generated profit in foreign currency, which was multiplied by the rise in the exchange rate between foreign currencies and the Israeli Shekel.

But then Intel scuttled a $25 billion investment plan in Israel, the biggest BDS victory ever.

Three Israeli historians, two Zionists and one anti-Zionist, have declared that the Zionist project has come to an end.

Israel's power grid, which has largely switched to natural gas, still depends on coal to supply demand.

The biggest supplier of coal to Israel is Colombia, which announced that it would suspend coal shipments to Israel as long as the genocide was ongoing.

After Colombia, the next two biggest suppliers are South Africa and Russia.

Without reliable and continuous electricity, Israel will no longer be able to pretend to be a developed economy.

The physical destruction in Israel has been minimal, but one thing has been destroyed: its future.

When a critical mass of Israelis, regardless of their political opinions, become convinced that Israeli apartheid has become unsustainable, they will no longer agree to invest energy and money and risk their lives and their families for the sake of the Zionist project.

They will seek out a better future for themselves, as every sane person would, either by leaving Israel, or better yet, by working towards a new and democratic political system in Palestine 🇵🇸 إن شاء الله

Mondoweiss.

🃏 An economy built on the exploitation and suffering of others is a house of cards destined to collapse.

إن شاء الله

#reclaimthenarrative — 🍉🕊 — #FreePalestine … @hrexach

[novaonhere]

A Future, A Home

Relationship: Cal Kestis x f!reader

Summary: You, Cal, and the crew on the Mantis are about to leave Jedah to go to Koboh after figuring out about the last intact compass. Cere asks you to stay and help with the archives. You both wake up and have a rough time leaving each other.

Word Count: 870

Warnings: Cal leaving again 😭 how dare, cute BD alarm clock

A/N: I can’t get over all the custom features Survivor offers like omggggggg the stubble???

Prompt: “You’ll stay, this time, right? You won’t go off again. You won’t disappear.”

(gif not mine)

————————————————————————

The small window in the corner of the room shines just enough light on your eyes. You slowly blink, groggy from starting to wake up. The room is cool, unlike the vast landscape outside. The dark orange-brown rock around you creates a pleasant cave sensation, protecting you from the outside world. A pair of freckles hands wrap around your waist, pulling you in. You smile softly, knowing your partner is still fast asleep, in his own little world.

You don’t mind, actually, you’re more than happy he is sleeping so soundly. You know for a fact his bed on the Mantis is rock hard and he can barley sleep anyway with so much turbulence and rocking about. With the “go-go-go” mentality, he can never bring himself to even sit down at times. The fact that he asked you to bed first was shocking, but you were extremely glad to show him to your room, where he instantly laid down on the fluffy sheets and knocked out.

The memory made you smile. While you’ve been on Jedah with Cere and Merrin, you’ve just now learned what Cal has been up to the past few months. You take your hand and stroke his arm, tracing each freckle like a game of connect the dots.

Missing him would be an understatement. In this world, your kind were being hunted constantly. Jedis needed to be eliminated, according to the Empire. You’ve spent your lives running, fighting, looking past your shoulders. To experience pure bliss and safety in each others arms was a luxury, a luxury you never wanted to let go of.

Cal shifted in his sleep, gripping onto you tighter. You chuckled, letting your eyes slowly blink back to rest.

BD-1 chirps at the door, acting as your own personal alarm clock. Sighing, you slink out of your boyfriend’s embrace, who grumbles in protest. You open the door a crack, crouching down to the adorable droid, cocking his head up at you.

“Good morning, buddy.” You smile, the droid bouncing with joy. “We’ll be out in a few, I’ll send Cal to the Mantis straight away. Meet him there?” With that, BD-1 scampers away.

“Five more minutes,” Cal complains, Force grabbing your pillow and sending it your way. On instinct, you catch the pillow, a sad smile on your face as you close the door.

You slowly make your way towards the bed, sitting down besides his curled up frame. He looks peaceful, being able to not worry and rest. You know once he wakes up fully, the worry and anxiety of the day will come crashing. His hand reaches out to yours, interlocking your fingers together as he straightens up.

“Good morning,” You smile. Cal reciprocates, bringing your hands up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles.

“You looked so peaceful,” He smile, brushing a strand of red hair away from his eyes. “I wish you could…” You trail off as he starts to shift, moving his legs off the bed. You stand, making room for him to get up. He sits next to you, placing a kiss to your temple. You faintly smile, worry still painted on your face.

“After all of this…” You start.

“We’ll have Tanalorr, (Y/N). A place where we can sleep next to one another every night.” He states, sounding leveled headed and very much like he rehearsed that statement. You nod, watching him slip on his everyday clothes, freshly washed thanks to the kind droids helping out with the Hidden Path.

“But you’ve never known that. Who says you’ll stay? You’ll stay, this time, right? You won’t go off again. You won’t disappear, right?” Your worries and doubts melt from your mouth. You were ready to settle and help out with those you can. After traveling with Cal and the Mantis for years, it became too much. Cere asked for you to aid her in helping with the Hidden Path, which was definitely more your style.

“(Y/N)…” Cal breathes out, slipping his saber to his side. He turns around, facing your concerned face. “This is it. My last fight for now. Of course we will help those and train those who want to go back out and fight. But my job will to be protect and teach.” He walks up to you, taking your hands into his freckled ones. He places a sweet, gentle kiss to your cheek. “We’re so close, and I’ll come back to you. Every time.”

“A Future.” You smile.

“A Home.” He grins.

You look up into his eyes, shinning, knowing his said his truth. You smile, pecking him on the lips. He reaches his hand behind your head, pulling you back in for a longer, much needed, kiss. You grasp onto his collar, wanting to hold yourself there for as long as possible. Unfortunately, he just had to pull away, giving you a goofy smile.

“Go kick ass, Cal Kestis.” You smile, letting go of his hands. He chuckles, making his way towards the door.

“Anything to come back to you.” He responds, smiling over his shoulder. With that, he leaves you in your room. The sun coming from that small window now blinds you.