#BC I'M A HOWLING IDIOT )

[blitzbuckz]

🦴🐺🎃🦊🍬

@partyqveen

[stabbyfoxandrew]

happy wednesday! your writing is a treat and I hope you're having a lovely day <3

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE Y- I MEAN ARSON! ARSON! ARSON! ARSON! ARSON!

WIP Wednesday (1/31) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 93)

Andrew How much gas did you use? 10 Eh. Twenty bucks worth, I guess. Andrew You spent twenty dollars on gas just to burn a building? What are you, rich? 10 I'm not super wealthy, but I've got money. Besides, it was a special request, if you recall correctly. Andrew No it wasn’t. It was a suggestion. Wait. No. Scratch that. It was just an idea. 10 An idea that YOU gave me. :) Mr. Firefighter. Andrew I told you to knock that off. 10 Didn’t say I would. Andrew You’re annoying. You’re annoying and you might be stalking me. Why am I chatting with a potential stalker? 10 I might be annoying, but I’m not stalking you. Not my crime of choice. And… as for why you’re chatting with me. I think it’s because you like me.

Andrew’s eyes widen. Well, yeah. Duh. 10 is hot and witty and stupid. Of course Andrew likes him. But 10 isn’t supposed to know that.

10 Or, you think I’m interesting enough to talk to. By the way, *you* messaged me. Which means you took my number from a confidential case file. Thus, you’re the stalker.

Andrew sucks his teeth. Fuck. He’s almost got a point. But,

Andrew I got your number off the station’s phone when you called.  10 Stalker. Andrew Stop saying that. 10 Fine. I’ll say something else. I like you, too. You might actually be my first friend. Congratulations. Andrew An honor, I’m sure. 10 Mmhmm. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m starving to death. I’m going to get some dinner. Don’t follow me. Stalker.

Andrew huffs and rolls his eyes. He sort of wishes he could figure out where 10 is going for dinner. He wants to see him again. The picture in his head may be perfect but it’s not enough. He wants to sit across from this man and talk for real. Maybe one day.

[i-am-agent-washingtub]

Took my little brother to school with me and all he did was nibble my homework >:(

[greedbent]

Kaz didn’t care about gratitude.

It was a fickle weapon, if a weapon at all, fleeting and highly unreliable in a world ruled by greed and selfishness. Nothing but chance, far from stable and grown out of roots that barely stretched beneath the surface—easily plucked and discarded. And Kaz didn’t engage in anything that left even a breath up to mere possibility.

If nothing else, these acts of his were weapons he could use: leverage. The ability to hold something over someone’s head that forced them to their knees and guaranteed their compliance in the snap of his fingers. He didn’t give a damn about the good doctor’s patients any more than he gave a damn about the Traveler’s latest escapades. He couldn’t be bothered by whether Baizhu was amicable or not: business was business, and they each did for the other only what was earned in an equal exchange.

Kaz didn’t want gratitude.

But what that said about the inexplicable knot behind his sternum, or the sudden struggle in his next tight exhale, the need to avert his gaze again—He didn’t know. Moreover, he didn’t want to know. And so, all he offered was that one extra statement of clarification, as if Baizhu hadn’t put it as transparently as possible already: “I prefer to keep my investments reliable”—Kaz freed his lungs with another louder breath—“and amenable.”

And he was back. Stern edges and taut lines manifested again in his posture as he held himself straight and stretched that stiffness back out of his legs. He steeled himself to take his leave, and one foot pivoted with a resolve convincingly unshaken… before his “investment” spoke again. No, made a request. Which did as well as the first time to stall Kaz in his tracks—before a track could even be made.

“I thought you had a little errand boy of your own,” he posed, not accusatory, but dismissive. For, indeed, despite the not-so-delicate reminder of this being a job for someone else, Kaz still obliged. His steps brought him not to the pharmacy’s exit, but to the shelves indicated, and a trained search of his eyes located the vial without a wasted beat. As he returned to the counter, previous formalities dropped.

He invited himself behind it.

Kaz offered the extract in an open palm. “I��d recommend staying as far away from Inazuma as you can,” he finally uttered, continuing a former point not yet addressed. “—is what I would say if you were a wide-eyed, gawking tourist.” Though one strike of lightning could be enough to either grow a few brain cells or just thin out the herd of imbeciles. “For the furtherance of personal research, however”—and there, barely distinguishable, was a little twitch in one brow—“it might not be a wasted trip.”

Despite stated intent to leave, his visitor indulged questions meant to delay him with no hesitation. Their chats were a standard occurrence by now, yet he couldn't help but feel pleased every time. Kaz was a man of few words and even fewer acquaintances and was certainly intelligent enough to guess his ulterior motives for striking up conversation. There couldn't be many scenarios in which he'd choose to converse longer than necessary.

But who was he to question the whims of his esteemed business partner? Whatever his reason, Baizhu was content to be glad for it.

"I imagine that would put a damper on things," the doctor chuckled. "Next time you're headed there, do stop by before you depart; I'll make you some Electro resistance elixirs for the trip. It can't nullify a direct lightning strike, of course, but it'd at least make traveling easier."

As he spoke, he couldn't help a bit of wistfulness for a nation he'd never had the chance to visit. "I really should make a trip to Inazuma soon." After all, where else would be more likely to house the secret to immortality than the nation of eternity? But no sooner had the words passed his lips did he scrub a forearm across his brow with a sigh, visibly exhausted by the mere suggestion. "Although, with such glowing reviews from visitors like yourself..." Baizhu trailed off with a shake of his head. "Well, 'easier' traveling still doesn't equal 'easy' traveling, now does it? Hm, perhaps someday."

With a shrug to himself, he pinned the idea on a mental note to revisit at a later time. His gaze trailed after Kaz as he paced along the counter between them. One might assume that "most merchants" would have included the man himself, but Baizhu had no doubt that Kaz had found a more efficient way to source Inazuma's goods than the frantic scrambling and bidding wars of "most merchants." Not that the particulars of how he acquired them mattered as far as Baizhu was concerned.

"Of course, of course," he acquiesced easily, nodding along to a statement as unarguably factual as the color of the sky. (Silently logging away the faint softening of the other's tone that blotted iconic blue with clouds of doubt.) "Profits come first in matters of business. However, I'm well aware that there are plenty of other avenues into which you could invest your time and efforts for a profitable return. So, on behalf of my patients and myself, I feel it's only fair to extend a bit of gratitude where it's due."

But that was enough of that. He wanted Kaz to stay, after all; not to scare him away with sentimentality. "Ah, speaking of—would you be a dear and hand me a bottle from the shelf over there?" With his hands full of herbs, Baizhu nodded to a section of shelving just past the table in the lobby. "It seems I forgot to grab a vial of mist flower extract before I started. It should be on the third shelf down; look for a blue liquid with condensation on the glass."

[beesonhoneytoast]

Howl’s Moving Castle Incorrect Quotes

another shitpost bc I have problems 🎐

Ryan: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life  Sophie: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!  Howl: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!  Markl: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!  Calcifer: My moral code, is that you?  Ryan:  Ryan: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

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Howl: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?  Ryan: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies  Calcifer: Socks are Feetie Heaties  Markl: Forks are Stabby Grabbies  Ryan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties  Calcifer: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies  Markl: Stamps are Lickie Stickies  Sophie, annoyed: You are disappointments

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Howl: If you had to choose between Ryan and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?  Sophie: That depends, how much money are we taking about?  Ryan: Sophie!  Howl: 63 cents.  Sophie: I'll take the money.  Ryan: SOPHIE!!!

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Howl: He stole from me first! Sophie: Mhm. Howl: Stole my heart... Ryan: It is still illegal to commit murder.

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Howl: Fuck. Ryan: We've got to work on your cursing. Howl: Why? I'm pretty good at cursing already.

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Howl, Ryan, and Sophie are sitting on a bench Markl: Why do you guys look so sad? Howl: Sit down with us so we can tell you. *Markl sits down* Ryan: The bench is freshly painted.

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Howl: I think we're missing something.  Ryan: Teamwork?  Markl: Cohesion?  Sophie: A general sense of what we’re doing?

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Howl: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Ryan: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Howl: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SOPHIE WITH ME Markl, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

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Howl: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys.  Sophie: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!  Ryan: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!  Markl: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.  Howl: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.  Howl: Shit.  Ryan: Wait, three?  Cop: Yeah?  Sophie: OH MY GOD MARKL FELL OFF!!!

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Howl: *Screams*  Ryan: *Screams louder to assert dominance*  Sophie: Should we do something?!  Markl, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

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Howl: I think Markl was right.  Ryan: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.'  Sophie: He wouldn't do that.  Markl: You're right, Sophie. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that.  Markl: *turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'Markl Told You So' on the back*

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Howl: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?  Ryan: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Markl?  Markl: Probably “road work ahead”.  Sophie: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

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Howl: Dammit, Ryan! Ryan: What?! It wasn’t me! Howl: Sorry, force of habit. Dammit, Sophie! Sophie: Not me either. Howl: Oh...Then who set the house on fire? Calcifer: *whistles*

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Ryan, banging on the door: Howl! Open up! Howl: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Sophie: No, he meant- Markl: Let him finish.

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Howl: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.  Markl: Okay, but what is updog?  Sophie: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.  Ryan: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.  Calcifer: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.  Prince Justin: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.  Markl: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.  Howl: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.  Sophie: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.  Ryan: What’s a henway??  Howl: Oh, about five pounds.

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Howl: Croissants: dropped  Ryan: Road: works ahead  Witch of the Waste: BBQ sauce: on my titties  Markl: Shavacado: fre  Calcifer: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead  Sophie:  Sophie, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

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Howl: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.  Ryan: This knife is actually a magic wand.  Sophie: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.  Markl: *cocks gun* Magic missile.  Calcifer: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[bandnerdlevel43]

Ravioli Week, Day One- Love: Platonic/Romantic/Friend (Favorite AU)

Ravio x Lu Legend (Ravioli), Spirit Tracks Link x Zelda (Zelink) (< Implied)

Summary: Ravio is on a mission to rescue his husband from the Shadow’s tower. Not only does he dread what he finds, the mission doesn’t exactly go as planned, either.

Word Count: 3,742

Warnings: TW for mentions and evidence of torture and drugging, implied talk of Rulie’s whole sacrifice thing, Shadow does swear but it’s minor and I censored it anyway (I don’t swear :/), writer can’t resist making Legend a damsel in distress, mostly angst

A/N: Hello, everyone! I apologize for being… *checks calendar* …an entire week late? Holy Hylia, guys, I am so sorry. I totally missed the actual Ravioli Week. Well, I hope this is worth the wait!

As for the au, I'd like to explain. I didn't really have a favorite au before this, so I decided to use my own that I’ve been playing around with. Essentially, it's Hyrule Warriors Part Two: the Electric Boogaloo, with various companions attached in some way to each Link shoved together in the same adventure. For example, from Wind's Hyrule, Tetra; and from Wars’, Impa. I also added Spirit and his Zelda, since I love Spirit Tracks so much (older than Wind and Tetra bc I think it's funny how Wind would react that his successor is older than he is). And, of course, I had to include Ravio, with a side of marriage because I said so. Basically, this whole au started with me thinking that Midna and Hilda just screeching at each other was hilarious, and now Legend and Rulie are in Dink Jail and the Idiots have to get them out. *Shrugs* What can you do? 

If you're still reading this, I use the name “Spectre” to refer to Spirit's Zelda. I can't remember where I found the name, but if anyone can find the person who came up with it, please tell me. Thank you!

That's all I have to say! Enjoy!

----

“Close it, close it, close it!” Ravio gasped.

Link slammed the door shut behind him, throwing his slight body against the rusted steel. Ravio's fingers fumbled against the lock as the screech of claws on metal howled in his ears. The wolfos bayed frustratedly, making Ravio jump. Link groaned, his legs visibly shaking under the strain. Frankly, he was surprised the boy hadn't already snapped like a twig.

“Done!” Ravio scrambled away from the door. The wolfos behind it was very angry at the setback, that he could tell. He held his breath, waiting for the creature to burst its way in despite his best efforts. The thick metal rattled and, in some places, warped before its force, but its attempts proved fruitless. A snarl sounded from behind the door, and from then, silence. Ravio sighed while Link sank to the ground with a tiny whimper.

“Are you alright, Mister Link?” Ravio panted.

“I'm fine,” the Hylian chuckled. “That hurt, though.”

Ravio helped him up. Link stumbled to his feet, but he was relieved to see no further struggle. 

“Next time, I'm locking the door,” Link told him. 

Ravio shuddered. “I should hope there is no next time,” he mumbled.

Link snorted. Suddenly, his eyes widened, stepping around Ravio with his jaw agape. Ravio blinked, turned around, and sucked in a breath. 

He had never seen anything like it, and not in a good way. The dungeon was two floors tall, but apparently empty. The only light came from a couple of holes in the ceiling that allowed the smallest rays of sun to poke through. The smell of mildew drifted on stale, chilly air and burned his nose. Broken pieces of stone littered the floors and soaked in pools of water, giving the whole place a dilapidated feel. The cells were somehow even less sanitary! It was obvious that these cells had held a variety of creatures. Clumps of fur had been hastily shoved into corners, piles of hay lay rotting in a plethora of puddles, and rusted chains had been ripped from their place on the walls, bits and pieces of them tossed carelessly to the floor. The whole place reeked of decline and despair. Ravio's heart sank. 

“Wow,” Link laughed nervously. “I’d almost rather have another go with the wolfos.”

“Link,” Ravio breathed.

“Hm? Oh- hey, wait!” Link called as Ravio dashed off to the nearest cell.

He went from cell to cell, giving each the briefest glance possible to confirm they were empty. He never considered himself a religious man, or at least one who actively worshiped the Goddess. Faith was for those who still held hope that things would get better on their own. He was far from believing in divine intervention, especially not invoked by his own hand. Despite this, he found himself pleading to Lolia to please, let him be somewhere else. Somewhere other than this horrible cesspool of a prison.

“Link?” His wobbling voice bounced off the stone and danced around his ears. “Link, it's Ravio. Can you hear me?”

An agitated pause. Ravio licked his lips anxiously. Maybe there was hope. Maybe they misjudged and this was the wrong chamber. Legend would be somewhere clean, humane, and maybe even comfortable. He almost sent a prayer of thanks to the Goddess when a weak, piteous moan destroyed his optimism.

Link (this was about to get confusing, very quickly) caught up. “He's upstairs,” he said seriously. 

That was all he needed. Ravio ran for the stairs, Link close at his heels. He nearly tripped multiple times and even stepped in a puddle once. Still, the icy water couldn't hope to compare to how his blood ran cold with dread. Hilda had told him to be prepared for the worst sights, and Impa had been far too ready to provide vivid descriptions of torture, druggings, and- ohh, he was going to be sick. His own paranoia made him lightheaded. 

“Ravio-” Link puffed. “Ravio, you have to remember-”

“I know,” Ravio replied tightly.

“We don't know what's up there,” Link insisted. “You can't do anything rash, alright? Stick to the plan. Whatever happens, don't…”

Ravio froze. Link trailed off, following his eyes until his own rested on the slumped form two cells down. It watched them, wary but unmoving. Like a prey animal that had already accepted its demise.

“Link?” Ravio asked shakily, fearing the response.

The figure hesitated. Then came the hoarse reply: “Rav..?”

“Lolia,” Ravio swore under his breath.

He was there within seconds. Legend sat up, slowly, with a grimace. His chains clinked as he shifted, and Ravio couldn't help but notice how well-oiled and shiny they were compared to the despondency of the rest of the cell. Anger swelled in his chest. He cursed the Shadow, and the monsters who did this to him. He cursed Lolia; and, while he was at it, he cursed Hyrule's goddess Hylia as well. How could she let this happen to her chosen hero?

“Ravio,” Link said abruptly. “The portal.”

“Right!” He dug into his satchel until his fingers bumped against the jagged shard of metal. He lifted it out and gingerly set it on the floor.

The sound of chains shifting caught his attention. He glanced over. Legend had moved into the light, and oh- it was worse than Ravio could have ever imagined. He was covered head to toe in gashes and bruises. Many of his wounds were red and swollen from infection. His wrists were wrapped in harsh burns. Worst of all, though, were his eyes. His eyes were heavy but dark from too many sleepless nights. They carried so much distrust and uncertainty, but within that a small glimmer of hope that was too hesitant, too weary. Ravio's heart never ached so painfully before. 

Legend reached his hand out between the bars, his fingers shaking with miniscule tremors. The flesh on the top of his hand had been shredded and torn thoroughly, and only on that hand. Ravio had only a heartbeat to feel a flicker of confusion before Legend’s fingers touched his cheek, brushing his skin lightly.

“It- It is you,” he croaked. “I-I thought they had drugged me again. Ravio, I-”

“Shhh,” Ravio hushed softly, gently holding his battered hand. He gripped Ravio’s own tightly, like a man drowning. “Save your strength. We’re getting you out of this place.”

“Ravio, I lost it,” Legend said hoarsely, squeezing his hand. “I tried to hide it, but they took it. They took your bracelet, too-”

“Breathe, Link,” Ravio soothed best he could. “What did you lose?”

Those were definitely tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to spill over at the slightest provocation. “The ring,” he whispered. “I lost our ring.” He hung his head shamefully. “I’m sorry, Ravio.”

Ravio’s heart shattered. He shook his head violently, cupping Legend’s face with his hands. “No,” he said sternly. “No, Link, look at me- It's not important. It's just a dumb piece of metal. It's not important.”

Legend's expression was so pained it had Ravio’s eyes stinging as well. He forcefully swallowed the growing lump in his throat. Keep it together, you stupid rabbit, he scolded himself. He doesn't need you breaking down too.

“It's more than that,” Legend mumbled. He looked like he was about to say something else, but a bout of coughing attacked Ravio's ears instead. He groaned, his breath rattling in his chest.

“The portal's ready.” Link approached from behind Ravio, and Ravio didn't miss how he had unsheathed his sword, standing protectively over the two of them. “The keys will be here soon.”

“Thank you,” Ravio said genuinely. Link nodded in return. 

Legend’s eyes flickered in suspicion. “Who are you?” he asked.

“My name is Link.” Link lifted his hat in a polite greeting. “But you can call me Spirit.”

Thank the Triforce he had a name ready. However, Legend didn’t share his welcoming attitude. “There’s another one?” he remarked incredulously.

Link- Spirit- grinned at that. “Seems like it.”

Legend snorted, which encouraged another coughing fit. “Delightful,” he grumbled.

While Ravio was glad to see some of his usual sarcasm show through, he was concerned for the younger hero. He didn’t want him hurt or put down by Legend’s gruff exterior, but it seemed he didn’t need to worry. Either Spirit (This is going to take some getting used to) hadn’t detected the edge in his words, or he was simply being a good sport.

It was probably the former.

Ravio didn’t have time to elaborate on the thought. Without warning, an invisible finger traced a circle in the ground by Link- blast it, Spirit! Startled, Spirit leaped back as the circle developed a waterlike film over the center. Ravio only stood when the portal spat out Shadow- and only Shadow.

Shadow hung in the air, his lip curled as he hurled an explosive back down through the portal. A muffled boom and a warped chorus of shrieking answered him.

“Hey!” he snapped. “Is this a rescue team or a statuary?! Shut it now!”

“Where’s Zelda?” Spirit demanded, the color drained from his face.

“She’s fine!” Shadow snarled. “Leave that open and we won’t be!”

To highlight his point, a large, meaty hand reached from the open gateway, swiping at Shadow’s feet. He drew his bloodstained sword without hesitation and thrust the blade through the monster’s muscle. He yanked it out ruthlessly and kicked the hand back down. Ravio quickly snatched the piece of the Master Sword off of the floor, which caused the portal to seal closed. Shadow huffed and spat at where the portal once sat.

“Where is she?” Spirit shouted, accusation evident in his tone. “You left her with those monsters, didn’t you?”

“Cool it, train boy!” Shadow bared his teeth, exposing dark tips that made Ravio flinch. Had- Had he bitten a monster? “She told me to. Listen, I don’t like it any more than you do, but loverboy over here-” he jerked his head at an affronted Legend- “is critical to our plan. She…” His voice cracked. He cleared his throat, tipped his chin defensively, and finished, “...is not.”

“WHAT?!” Spirit nearly threw himself at Shadow, who made no move to defend himself. Alarmed, Ravio had to act quickly. He stepped between the two and held the younger back. Spirit yelled at him now, saying, “Let me go, Ravio!”

“I can’t do that, Link,” Ravio said through gritted teeth. “You’re not thinking clearly!”

“Coward! Let me go!”

Ravio winced. He had to admit, it had been a long time since that word had any bite to it, but this time, it wasn’t the word that hurt, but the mouth that spoke it. He held fast anyway. He didn’t mean it, right? “If Shadow says it’s a death trap to go back, then we can’t go back, but Link, listen to me! You have to trust her!”

Spirit stopped struggling, his hands dropping to his sides. Tentatively, Ravio let go. He took a step back, and relaxed when he saw no signs of aggression. 

Spirit lifted pleading eyes to Shadow’s. “Please tell me she'll be okay,” he begged.

Shadow nodded cautiously. “She's more capable than all of us combined,” he assured. “She cut down the most massive Hinox I had ever seen with just her sword.” A tiny smile twitched at his lips. “I'm more worried for the monsters than her.”

Spirit mulled that over in his head. Ravio knew how little he trusted the darkling, even after all this time.

“Trust her,” Ravio repeated.

That seemed to work. Spirit glanced his way, then nodded. Not at Shadow, but at him. “Let's hurry, then. The faster we get him out, the less time she's in danger.”

Ravio winced and threw Shadow an apologetic look. The other man simply shrugged indifferently, as if to say, “What can you do?” He unhooked a ring of keys from his belt and said, “What do I shove these into?”

Ravio gestured to the lock on the door, wringing his hands restlessly. He made quick work of it, allowing the cell door to creak open. Ravio rushed in, dropped to his knees, and wrapped his lover in a tender embrace. Legend grunted, but otherwise did not protest. Instead, he lay his head limply on Ravio's shoulder, exhaling deeply.

“I'm sorry we didn't come for you sooner,” he whispered into his hair. “I'm so sorry, Link.”

“Don't…” Legend rasped. “Don't apologize. Just… don't.”

“Hate to interrupt,” Shadow said loudly, “but I have to get between the two of you to release ‘Mister Hero’ here.”

Ravio hastily released Legend, who frowned at Shadow, then at him. Shadow took his place and began unlocking the shackles. Legend continued to stare at him, not at all subtle in his careful assessment. In turn, Shadow winked. Legend looked scandalized.

Shadow stood, and Legend shook the chains off his wrists. Shadow dropped into an exaggerated bow, smirking. “He's all yours.”

Ravio blushed, but knelt before the Hylian once again. Legend's brows furrowed, still glaring at Shadow. “Say his name is Link and I'm punting him into the Sacred Realm,” he warned.

“Ha!” Shadow snickered. “Believe me, I would've done that myself if I was anything like you twinks.” An ironic statement, considering he was the smallest of them all. “No, I'm Shadow. Not the Shadow. Just Shadow. No relation, by the way.”

Legend regarded him with even more suspicion, if possible. Ravio decided this was the perfect time to change the subject. “Can you walk?” he asked.

“Does it look like I've tried?” he retorted. There was an instant flicker of guilt in his worn eyes, and he stared at the ground. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No, you're okay.” Ravio smiled softly, brushing his bangs out of his face and tipping his chin up. “It's not your fault.”

“Hurry it up, you two,” Shadow called irritably.

Legend scowled. Ravio distracted him with an outstretched hand. His heavily lidded eyes softened as he clasped his own hand around Ravio's. With a grunt, Ravio pulled him to his feet, which immediately gave out beneath him. Ravio dipped down and caught him before he could fall. 

“Oof- I don't think I can walk, Rav,” he chuckled ruefully. 

“I'll carry you,” Ravio suggested.

Legend looked dubiously at him, his legs visibly quaking despite being held up by Ravio. “Are you sure?”

“No offense, Link, but you're practically a skeleton,” he pointed out. “I think I can handle it. Now, hold on.”

Granted, Ravio himself was somewhat doubtful, mostly because of his own lack of confidence, but he had to pretend he had it. For Legend's sake. So, he scooped his frail body into his arms and hefted him up. He admittedly stumbled once or twice, but Legend was still shockingly light. He felt another pain in his stomach.

“Ready? Good, can we move?” Shadow said impatiently. 

“What's up with you?” Spirit folded his arms.

“In case you hadn't noticed,” Shadow snapped, “Zelda and I weren't exactly making friends-”

“‘Zelda’? What happened to the little nickname you gave her?” Spirit scoffed.

Where had that come from? Ravio widened his eyes, taken aback by the aggression in the young hero's voice. “Guys?” he said timidly.

“Excuse me if I don't see the relevance of Spectre's nickname,” Shadow snarked, his cap lashing like a cat’s tail. “As I was saying, Zelda and I-”

“You wouldn't have to if you hadn't left her to fight a horde of monsters on her own!”

“Would you let me finish my d— sentence?!” Shadow shot up into the air, looming above Spirit, his red eyes flashing menacingly.

Spirit jabbed him in the chest with a finger. “Not if you keep acting like an arrogant hog!” he spat.

Oh, dear. There was way more tension between these two than Ravio had thought. 

“Really? You're the one who can't comprehend the fact that Zelda can be friends with someone other than you!”

He was going to have to be the adult here, wasn't he?

Spirit laughed bitterly, the sound devoid of humor. “You would think that I have a problem with her making friends. No, I have a problem with narcissistic, manipulative, self-serving liars like-”

“Shut UP!” Ravio exploded. “Just shut up, both of you!”

The dungeon fell abruptly silent. 

Ravio's ears flicked back. He chewed the inside of his cheek anxiously. 

Then, slowly, Shadow lowered his feet to the ground. Spirit let his sword fall to his side. They watched him, likely startled that such an exclamation could come from one so emphatically against conflict. To be fair, Ravio was surprised with himself as well. 

He waited until all hostility was gone from the two of them before speaking. “Shadow, tell us what you were trying to say.”

Shadow opened his mouth, but Ravio interrupted him, adding, “And no witty quips. Or passive-aggressive comments.”

Shadow gave him a flat look. In an even flatter tone, he said, “Zelda and I didn't make it to the Traveler. We were intercepted by a squad of the Shadow's underlings- which, by the way, were poorly chosen. Personally, I would have gone with something quicker. Lizalfos would've had a much easier time; besides, they have more style than Hinox-”

“So we need to find Hyrule ourselves,” Ravio concluded, ignoring how Legend stiffened in his arms.

“Well, yes,” Shadow conceded, somewhat miffed at being cut off for the third time. “But there's more. It wasn't just chance that a fully armed attack team was just wandering around where we happened to be at the time. There has to be a reason why, and I can only think of two.”

“Spit it out,” Spirit muttered.

Shadow, thankfully, pretended to be deaf. “One:” he announced, holding up a finger, “our information was wrong and they're more heavily armed than we thought. Two, which I believe to be more plausible: the Shadow knew we were coming.”

Ravio sucked in a breath. “So, what you're saying is-”

“We're about to have a whole lotta monsters on our hands.” Shadow glanced at Legend. “And something tells me they're not here for a civil discussion over tea and biscuits.”

“Really,” Spirit said dryly.

“Lay off, Spirit,” Ravio chided. He likely didn't look very intimidating, considering how pale he was. He really shouldn't be the leader here. Where was Hilda when you needed her? “Do you have a defense plan?”

“Other than run with our tails between our legs?” Shadow said wryly. “Nothing.”

“It's an idea,” Ravio sighed, only a little sarcastic. “Escape plans?”

“Hide until Aurora calls us all to rendezvous.”

“How high are our chances of Spectre getting to Hyrule?”

Shadow looked at Spirit and exhaled deeply. “Look,” he started. “I have no doubt that she can scrape through alive. But alive with the Traveler? No chance. She won't have time.”

Ravio sighed again. “You're really great at having a positive outlook, aren't you?”

“Glad I could help.”

He wrinkled his nose, but continued. “What about us?”

“What?”

“What are our chances of reaching Hyrule?”

Shadow narrowed his eyes. “Depends on what your husband knows.”

Legend stilled. Ravio gazed with concern down at his lover, who had squeezed his eyes shut, as if to hide from the world.

Ravio was torn. They were probably Rulie’s only hope of escape, but he hesitated to ask. Legend looked close to tears again. He opened his mouth, but to his surprise, Legend spoke. 

“They moved him about a week ago,” he said. His voice was hoarse again. “He'll be somewhere cleaner. To- To keep him healthy.”

The way his voice broke didn't exactly put any of them at ease. Shadow's jaw was tense and his skin looked more gray than Lolian brown. “That's quite a lot of positivity, Sunshine.” He licked dry lips. “Don't overdo it, now.”

“Wait, hold on a minute- What do you mean ‘keep him healthy’?” Spirit asked apprehensively. 

Ravio wasn't sure he wanted to hear the answer, but before either could respond, Shadow's ears pinned back against his head. Without warning, the darkling pounced at Spirit and threw him to the ground, shouting, “Get down!”

Twin fireballs of blue and orange hues whizzed over their heads. Ravio ducked in the nick of time, the blue one just grazing his hair. Chills scrambled down his spine as he whipped around.

Spirit tossed Shadow aside with a growl. He jumped to his feet and froze. Before his eyes floated a large bat-like monster with a flat snout and rings around its intelligent eyes. And it was swelling. Fast. Great Goddess, did this thing even have a skeleton?

“Look out!” Shadow hollered.

Spirit let out a string of colorful curses that would've made Tetra proud and dove to the side, narrowly avoiding the creature's breath, which of course had to be fire. Why did it always have to be fire?

The flames singed the end of Shadow’s cap. He rolled to put it out and drew his sword in a fluid motion while Spirit, for some odd reason, pulled his boomerang from his pouch.

“I killed you!” he shouted furiously. “What’re you doing here?”

“You know this charming fellow?” Ravio gasped.

“Unfortunately.” Spirit grimaced. “Real pain in the- Shadow, duck!”

Shadow leaped into the air. Blue fire shot from underneath him. The bat screeched.

“What do we do?”

“That's the best question anyone's ever asked today!” Spirit snorted.

The cogs in that head were turning; Ravio could tell. He took in his surroundings in less than a second and dropped to his knees. He began rifling through his pack. “Shadow, get cozy. Distract that thing!”

“What?!” The darkling swore through his teeth. “Alone?”

“Exactly! Ravio, take the Vet and get out of here. We'll stall him.”

Shadow turned sharply. He flicked his fingers, tossing something shiny directly at Ravio. It flew through the air and landed awkwardly on Legend's nose.

“Keys!” Shadow yelled. “Go! Find the Traveler!”

“We'll handle this!” Spirit agreed.

Ravio took a step back. He gawked at Spirit. He couldn't deny his overwhelming panic, but he wasn't about to leave them!

“Go!” Shadow commanded, bloodstained teeth glinting in the light of the fire.

He hesitated, afraid. Could he really turn and run, just like that? But then an image of Legend bloodied and motionless presented itself in his mind’s eye, so he turned and fled. 

What could he say? He had always been a coward.

He just had to hope that his family didn't end up the same way.

----

A/N: So, yeah! If you have any questions about my au, feel free to scream at me through my asks or the tags. (Bonus points if you can guess who they’re fighting hehe) Love you all!

[circinuus]

HIII can i request an Chuuya x reader where Chuuya saves reader ( they are just a civilian and no ability pls) and to get home chuuya use his ability and its the first time for reader to his ability tyyy♡♡♡♡

in a sky full of stars, i see you

chuuya x fem! reader. 1.5k words

chuuya, the ever-gentlemanly and kind chuuya, will do everything to protect you and your smile.

[unestablished relationship; implied attempt of sexual harassment]

❥ nonnie, your request made my howl-chuuya agenda happy. having said that, tysm for the rq ♡ i had to make reader fem bc of the petname, hope you don't mind :'

Chuuya has always liked the fineness of wine.

There's something about the way they intoxicate him; the curious mix of sweet grape and bitter tannin that linger on his tongue, the telltale fruit-like, sometimes earthy aroma that wafts to his nose, and the way they swirl beautifully like liquid ruby in his glass 

Through wine, too, fate finally did him a good favor and let him meet you. And yet, he can't seem to find it in himself to indulge in its delicacy. Not tonight.

"Nakahara," your voice cuts his silent mullings. "If you're still worried about that, you shouldn't be. I'm fine."

"I shouldn't?" his eyes search your face, "Some bastard almost touched you. Disrespected you—The bar owner, for fuck's sake!"

"Hey hey," you reach for his arm, "You took care of that 'bastard' yourself, didn't you? You know I'll do the same even if you weren't there."

The good-for-nothing is now permanently banned from your bar. You didn't know what Chuuya had said to the sad excuse of a human being, but the person was already running with his tail between his legs before you promptly closed the establishment for the day.

Had it not been for the patient, assuring way you softly hold his arm, the lascivious man wouldn't have lived long enough to see the next sunrise.

"Got the guts blamin' it to the wine too," he grits his teeth, "that little shit-"

His tone raises. but it was too late when your hold on him slightly faltered.

You flinched. For God's sake, you flinched. You flinched and Chuuya thought maybe Kouyou was right, maybe everyone was right, maybe he shouldn't meddle with the life of a civilian. 

As much as you’ve intoxicated him like the sweet taste of a Romanee-Conti, as much as he finds himself coming back every night and attain comfort in your presence, his presence might one day grant you something more than an idiotic drunkard.

So maybe it's time to stop. 

"Shit," he breathes out, "Sorry, (Name). I'll-"

"Stay."

The bar is coated with dead silence, deprived of any sign of patrons and alcohol-induced exuberance it usually has.

"I mean-" you put the last glass back in its place, "Obviously, we're closing soon. I was just wondering if you'll stay with me—until I get to my apartment?"

Oh.

Chuuya creases his eyebrows, "You shouldn't just trust any man like this, ya' know?"

"Yeah, and you're not just any other man. I trust you."

'That is, if you want to,' you add an afterthought, ‘But you've done a lot for me today,' your voice hesitates. But uncertainty soon lost its place as a gloved hand, after a moment's pause, offered itself for you to take.

"You go home like this every night?"

"Yeah. The walk isn’t that far."

"Alone?"

"Yep."

A breeze blows, bringing the port's mild smell of the sea to even the rural area of Yokohama. Chuuya slightly frowns as he matches your steps.

“Remind me to accompany you home, from now on."

"Come on!" a humorless laugh escapes you. "I've been doing this for years, I'll be fine.

"-Was what I'd normally say. But after what happened.."

The moon hangs high in the sky, its melancholy mirroring the conflict in your eyes.

Chuuya doesn't like it, he figures. The desire to track down and give that bastard a piece of his mind runs strong, but the impulse to wipe that clouded expression off your face was profound.

So the words cut through the heavy silence before he can stop his tongue.

"Say, you’re not scared of heights, aren't cha?"

“No, why?"

“Wanna see a magic trick?”

You blink. “Come again?"

"I told ya' about my ability, didn't I?" 

"Yeah?" you eye him curiously "But you never really showed me."

"Well then," he stops in his tracks, now facing directly at your form.

"It's your lucky day, princess."

Like before, a gloved hand presented itself in front of you; like a knight—in a bowl hat and dark coat, to a princess—who lives in a downtown apartment.

The idea made a smile bloom on your lips.

"I gotta ask again," something mischievous twinkled in the his eyes, "Do you trust me?" 

His protective hands had shielded you from that lascivious drunkard, he reels back his anger to not make you flinch, and he indulgently agreed to escort you home—even when you choose to traipse through the city in favor of getting some fresh air to distract your mind.

What reason do you have to change your answer?

"Hold on tight," he promptly whispers as your hand nestles in his. Before you know it, an arm has itself secured around your waist, and with a swift kick of Chuuya's soles, you feel as light as a cloud.

"Now straighten your legs and start walking, sweetheart."

The ground seemed to zoom away from your sight, and only then did you realize you were walking on air, steps already treading in tandem with Chuuya's swift strides.

"See?" the hand on your waist now seamlessly intertwines itself with yours. "Not so hard is it?"

His hands are secure on yours. And you trust him so much, you think. More than you admit. No inkling of fear was present—even when you're several feet above the ground, treading among stars like the Weaver Princess and Hikoboshi during the night of Tanabata.²

“That’s my girl,” you receive a small chuckle for your dazed nod.

That night, something tingles in your heart. 

Yokohama's night lights twinkle like radiant stars, concealing each and every one of its darkness. From beyond, the moon smiles at you, surrounding her are the luminesce of various constellations.

When you lean back, you feel the warmth of Chuuya's chest. When you glance at his face, you see the sight of his smile and the reflection of the stars in his eyes.

It feels like a dream. But dreams are always fleeting, as they say.

The warmth of his gloved hand doesn't leave yours before you safely land on your apartment floor, steady in your balance. His hands seem to linger longer, but you already miss his warmth as soon as he lets you go.

"There you go," he steadies you, now perched on the railings in front of your door. What he gave you was an experience beyond your wildest dreams. Your face is flush with exhilaration and bafflement. But when you look at his face, 

"(Name)," an undertone of worry still colors his face. 

”I know I won't. But if ya' ever caught me go stupid over too much alcohol-”

‘Or if another idiot dares as to touch you.’

“Let me know, then give me a damn good punch in the face."

You pause at this, before breaking out into a loose laugh. "I thought 'too much alcohol' was never in your dictionary, Mr. Wine Connoisseur.”

"I'm serious."

The night air languidly blows a cold breeze. An early sign of precipitation; the sky is as cloudy as Chuuya's expression.

You let out a sigh, hand reaching to straighten his slightly crooked hat.

"It isn't like you to get so frazzled, Nakahara."

'Because it's about you,' Chuuya wanted to say. But he couldn't. Not when those words will bound him closer to you, and someday keep you from smiling like this.

"Just call me Chuuya," so he compromised.

"Okay, Chuuya." you acquiesce, "You're a great man, you know? A real gentleman. You gotta be careful, I might just fall in love with you."

It isn't fair. You can't just carelessly say such things. With your easy smile, bathed in the gentle luminesce of moonlight like this, his heart aches further. '

Then do, fall in love with me.

"-But you're right. I'll be sure to give you a good punch. Though I'm confident you'll never lose yourself." 

"On second thought-," you press a finger on your chin, “Maybe not. You did go a bit crazy once. Must’ve been a very stressful day for you.”

Chuuya was almost ready to plunge into a flurry of panic and guilt, readying himself to forget any foolish sentiments and stay away from your life, for good. But his mind freezes at your next comment.

"But how can I just punch you when you looked so cute?"

"..What?"

You raise your palms in defeat, “Got totally wasted on Cabernet. But I made sure no one messed with you."

"Though you did mumble some interesting things in your sleep,'" you add with a playful wink. 

When Chuuya asked, with the remaining composure he had left, you only responded with a perky "Who knows~" as you turned to your apartment door.

"But in all seriousness,” you give him a final glance, “Thank you for everything, Chuuya." 

Looking at your placid smile, Nakahara Chuuya realized he had fallen deeply, hopelessly for you. And perhaps he was the last one to know that.

"Usual time and place tomorrow?"

Chuuya be damned. Who is he—a mere man—to refuse when you asked him so sweetly?

the howl pendragon-chuuya agenda¹ i'm talking about. yall should watch howl's moving castle frfr

the weaver princess and the cowherd ² (orihime and hikoboshi, in the japanese culture variation) are characters found in a chinese mythology about star-crossed lovers. their love was not allowed, and thus they were banished to opposite sides of the heavenly river (symbolizing the milky way). once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month (celebrated as the tanabata festival in japan), a flock of magpies would form a bridge to reunite the lovers for a single day. (source)// cmiiw

♡ @ashthemadwriter

[songmingisthighs]

Hey ik youre acquaintances with “luvtokki” and I was just wondering if you know how she’s doing ? It’s been a while since she’s updated so if just been worried ;^; hope this doesn’t come off as prying or snoopy :”

yes! we're not just acquaintances, we are the three mingketeers which is a nicer way of saying we're three high strung horny idiots with back pain, debilitating simpiness, and seasonal depression

but yea bunni is super duper busy, super tired, she comes to the gc like a zombie bc she's in uni and she has tons of responsibilities. i'll let her know you guys are missing her but do remember to be understanding and kind to her situation

i'm so glad the person who asked this is being so polite so thank you anon! ^^

@luvt0kki one of your simps is howling for you 👀

[rayshippouuchiha]

I just got back into the Naruto fandom bc of gacha reactions on youtube and I have a new favourite trope: Uchihas are little freaks who are attracted to people who can and if mildly provoked will rip them into two equal pieces with their bare hands.

Also, behold! My new favourite ship and ship dynamic!

Tobirama "I-Just-Created-47-New-Jutsu-Because-I-Was-Left-Unattended-For-5-Hours" Senju x Madara "Instant-Awkward-Boner" Uchiha

Just-

Tobirama breaks Madara's nose and Madara immediately starts looking into a winter wedding to comliment his future husband's complexion.

Naruto using 1 tail of gold chakra to break Sasuke's Susanoo and literally physically whoop his ass with a single movement and that little freak is already in a wedding kimono bc "C'mon Dobe it's august and we need a summer wedding otherwise your skintone and hair color wouldn't look perfect in the photos and I'm not waiting a whole year".

Touka breaks Izuna's jaw for being a little shit and sneapking up on her and startling her and that man is one his knees trying to gargle out to please give him a chance he can cook and clean and look after the kids.

Mikoto and Fugaku having to hold onto each other up BC their friendgroup decided to host a "tournament" on training ground 3 and everyone is hot. Hisashi and Hiashi are judging hard. Tsume is howling from laughter.

That kind of thing. Just a whole clan of those little strength kink having idiots immediately wifeing themselves the moment someone strong enough to break their spins flexes in their general direction.

Yes yes to absolutely all of this

[blackhairedjjun]

I should be working on my own prince txt wip, but through the day I keep thinking about foec jjun and reader! So here's a soft thought, I hope you don't mind...

I keep thinking about this couple on Valentine's day, because I just know they'd have the sweetest surprises for each other. I think Yeonjun would have a plan for a while before the occasion. He heard of a flower field not too far away that is in full bloom for the season, and from that moment, he knew he had to take you. He would arrange to take you there on Valentine's day, excited every time he thought of the plan the whole month before and your face when you laid eyes on the place.

He'd be so giggly and just beam the whole morning, and you'd never seen him like this but you were loving it. He said he was taking you on a nice walk, but then ushered you into a carriage. Not telling where you were headed, he'd just smile a full beam grin and raise your joined hands to kiss your knuckles each time you asked. Soon before the carriage stopped, Yeonjun drew the curtains closed to prevent you from seeing out the window, causing you to grow more curious of your destination.

When Yeonjun stepped out and reached his hand to help you down, you felt excited butterflies, the ones that still came to visit even after you'd been married a while. With your hand clasped inside his, he lead you around the back of the carriage, off the dirt road and onto grass. The moment you emerged from the back of the vehicle, your eyes were hit by a sea of colour, stretching out as far as you could see. The field was a beautiful display, the sun shining just right over the flowers, the light breeze causing them to sway and dance, and it took your breath away.

You looked up to see your husband with an even wider smile than he'd had all day, you hadn't thought it possible. His eyes were dazzling with affection and admiration, only he wasn't looking at the beautiful scene of nature before him – he was admiring you. Your speechless reaction and wide eyes were exactly what he had pictured when he'd imagined bringing you here, even better seeing it in front of him. You looked at each other with so much love, as you did every other day, glad you could share in these small joys together for the rest of your lives.

(I'm not sure where foec is set or what season February would be for them, so I left the flower colour and type vague for you to imagine whatever you like :)) 💗

CEE OMG... THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL HFKSHKDJJD im smiling like an idiot at lunch lmao 🥰🥰🥰 i absolutely agree that foec!jjun would be the type to dote on you and surprise you, he knows how hard you had to work as a gardener and now he wants to make sure you feel cared for and loved <3

also just IMAGINING the look in yeonjun's eyes when you see the flower field, eyes shining full of love... aaaahh butterflies 🥰

i was actually imagining the flower field from howl's moving castle when i read this:

tysm for the lovely ask cee <3 btw! the timing of this ask was perfect bc i was also thinking of sending you a prince txt-related ask, but i couldn't think of anything so i'll try to send you one later!

[bogbees]

rentan fics I'm working on

- forsake me not, literally just gotta work out some kinks and it's dooooone. i keep thinking "let's finish it and post it," so that's how close I am

- companion piece fr Tanjiro's pov bc ppl keep commenting "gee i wonder what Tanjiro's up to!" which honestly he was literally just doing chores idk what else to say but i feel bad misleading you all, thinking it was important so you get this as a treat

- konpon au that's a weird Howl's moving castle but also draws inspiration fr all the dwarves in the shire bagginshield fics i read like ten years ago. so it's cute domestic but with extreme sexual tension. very insane with the symbolism of coal feeding flame and fire being akin to the sun

- au where upon death Kyojuro winds up four years back and goes to find Tanjiro to train him and hopefully save more lives. inspired by fanart i saw on pixiv that drove me nuts

- old enough inspired thing that i was doing to figure out images on a03

- demon!rengoku au where he's like. unwilling to eat human flesh and is very adamant ab hanging with Tanjiro once they find each other again. smth smth fuck that ulquihime song Rapport by Tatsuya Kitani

- a Your Name au i still want to fuck with bc i think Kyo's autism would make that whole situation worse. it was a modern au tho and was fun bc i had akaza as a serial killer who killed kyojuro on Valentine's day 💕

- some weird sex pollen esque thing that might never see the light of day.

- stupid sexy succubus rengoku au that exists bc i think there's good comedy of idiot college student being too polite to accept the advances of an idiot succubus. stupid and stupider, the ideal rentan

- dragon au prompt fr rntn winterfest still lives in my head rent free.

[the-algebra-thing]

I feel so idiotic rn guys bc when I read house of many ways I didn't remember to think about howls origins or expect any extrapolation on them. I am only now realizing that we never hear jack shit ever again about real life wales or see it again or anything. that's just some wild thing sophie and michael found out about him and we have to guess dwj just threw it into howl's moving castle for fun and just like. some extra spice. which is endlessly funny to me but also honestly baffling bc it completely changes the meaning of its presence in the first book now that I know it doesn't show up in any of the others. as far as I can remember I guess anyways.

hopefully gonna go back to reading it out loud to tesla this week so I will maybe gain some insight about it when I read the scene again, but also like. to be honest her writing isn't at all like what I'm used to where you can point out what the reason was for why every thing you can find was included. after I finish it with tesla I'll have to read it again and take a pencil to it and try some real tone and diction analysis because now I'm dead curious

[mushiewrites]

Wake up brain is back in action Mushie!

So, I'll make it lee!George for you and lee!Dream for Llama

Sapnap telling Dream that George needs an exorcism after he says something extraordinarily mean. So he uses a pen to draw random symbols on George’s arms and forehead before shoving him onto his back so Dream can grab his arms. He then rather aggressively shakes George into the bed, yelling for the demon to get out of their friend. George makes a noise of surprise first before bursting into giggles at how silly the situation is. Sapnap claims the demon is laughing at them so he knuckles his ribs which gets him immediately screaming and thrashing like an exorcism No amount of pleading or bargaining convinced them to let him go, it's only when George begins to play along, shrieking out that he's been freed and the demon's gone now. They both back off and act relieved that it worked. Sapnap wipes away his tears and brings him up into a hug, George in a few seconds feels Dream behind him, sandwiching him in. The body heat comforting him. "You guys are idiots" is the last thing he says before falling asleep against Sapnap’s shoulder

omg sleepy.....do you just wake with ideas like this???? i wake up ideas too but not THIS detailed, holy cow. you are just....a genius in every way, sleepy 🥰

firstly, sap and dream are so extremely playful and george is just so wild that they would have so much fun in a scenario like this. because sap and dream would be holding him down, drawing random patterns everywhere they could reach (focusing on the extra tkly spots like his triceps and palms - he even feels his shirt lift and tks along his ribs that make him squeal). and george just has to lay there and.....take it. bc what is he gonna do, fight back? dream has both of his wrists held down to the bed!

and they start telling him he's possessed and they need to give him an exorcism NOW before it's too late!!!! george is screaming and laughing and thrashing and it's just complete chaos as sapnap fights to throw his leg over george's waist to straddle him. but george is squirming so much dream has to hold his wrists in one hand for a second before leaning forward to place his hand on george's stomach. he has to push on it lightly so his body stays down on the bed long enough for sap to finally take his place on george's hips

when george gets cackling from how ridiculous this whole situation he is sapnap just gasps in fake offense, quickly rubbing his knuckles against george's ribcage. and george screams and howls and laughs and he's in hysterics because it tks SO FUCKING BAD and he cant handle it!!! he doesn't know what to do besides scream and thrash and kick. he can hear dream and sapnap, giggling and still shouting this back and forth to each other about how possessed he is and how they need to "rid george of the demons!"

eventually george can't take anymore. sapnap has been rubbing into his ribs and kneading into his sides and soon enough he feels sapnap's thumbs drilling into his hips. he shrieks and just goes "OKAY OKAHAHAY I'M C-CUHUHURED! I'M NOHOHOT P-POSSEHEHESSED ANYMOHOHORE!". finally sap and dream take pity on him and he feels sap wipe the tears off his cheeks. he hadn't even realized he was crying bc of how hard he was laughing, but it warmed his heart that sap paid enough attention to comfort him that way.

george would let himself be cuddled and squished and squeezed because fuck, he deserves it after that torture. and of course he calls them idiots before he falls asleep in the little cuddle pile ):

[rinhaler]

luxie I'm so sorry you are feeling sad, I hand you this funny Ino x Sukuna scenario🤲🏼❤️‍🩹

I know they are getting shitfaced at Ino's family christmas party, Ino just took Sukuna with him and told his family he's his boyfriend, just for shit and giggles and Sukuna just rolls with it because free food + Ino's family faces of horror

At the end of the night the call the reader to picks them up and Ino getting in the car goes "Miss girl, you are gonna have to stop fucking myy boyfriend" Sukuna wants to kill him💀💀

NO STOP I TEARED UP READING THIS BC SUKUNA MISSES HIS FAMILY SO GETTING TO SPEND THE HOLIDAYS WITH INO’S FAMILY IS SO SWEET HELP 😭��

Also them fake dating so Sukuna can get a plate has me HOWLING I love them they are such idiots 🫶🏽 also LOVE that ending I can imagine Sukuna growling at Ino for that one 😩 but how is the reader sneaking away from Yuuji to pick up his brother 🤔

[pondslime]

HEYYYYY me seeing ur pfp change and going >:))))

i know ur writing stuff for aawil but if u wanted to give us a line or two or tease what this masterpiece of a fic is gonna entail that’s totally cool w me 👀

u know ur down bad when u change ur pfp. u know ur six feet UNDER

gdsfhgdsfhgfhdghdfs I watched that film and lost my goddamn mind. like. all marbles?? lost. in the void. idk when I'm getting them back!!! no clue!!! nada zip zero!!!! howling on the dash every single day about a film literally 0.09% of u care about bc I'm UNWELL abt it LMAO

I've just.........acquired two new idiots and now every single I see them I'm like

they really is the because 😔🙏💯. to me

rlly and truly lost @ sea over two Standard Run of the Mill Guy-Type Guys of GuysVille. like.......they're just guys. two random ass dudes. it's Just Some Dudes Summer™ and I'm livin it tf up

⚠️ splitting up the rest of this post under the cut bc I ramble and I don't want u all to have 2 scroll forever:

the conceit of the dumbass fic I'm rotating in my mind rn.........is to answer the question absolutely nobody (me) asked, which is what IF there WAS an inn down the road?? what IF????? and what if they didn't get their shit absolutely rocked by a werewolf on the moors??? and instead they got [redacted] [REDACTED] [redacted]??? only big brain thoughts here on this Blog, ofc!!!

I've truly only written disembodied bits of dialogue for it. like str8 up NOTHING coherent jsfdkjdfskjkfdsjksf all I know is that there are croissants and sheep and thunderstorms and making out in attics over a game of clue. other than that. beep boop 404!!!!

half of writing this shit is gonna be me making sure I give due diligence to both of the idiotboys bc even tho I love them both dearly. I do. regrettably. have a bias to one. I'm sure..........it's difficult to figure out.............which one.....................

it's gonna be one of those fics that I spend 93492439843 hours on PURELY for the enjoyment of my singular peanut brain 🤡🔨and u will all look @ me like.........when will everything else return from the war??? and I will do a lil jig or smthn

[igorthefifth]

eeeek this is cute! thanks so much @loycht for tagging me! 💞

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tea, coffee or soda?  I'm nobody without coffee  

dogs or cats?  don’t make me choose!!! please!!! (cats)

can you play an instrument?  guitar (and a lil bit of drums)

what’s your sun sign?  I’m a pisces! 🐟   

first song lyrics that pop into your head?  chiquitita tell me what’s wrong

do you have any tattoos?  nope (not yet!)

favorite place you traveled?  I think the week I spent in santa cruz cabrália, a small district (?) in the state of bahia in brazil, when I was a kid

what’s the last movie you’ve watched?  howl’s moving castle (I watch that one and spirited away every week religiously bc I’m obsesseddd)

what languages do you speak?  portuguese, english, spanish, french

do you have any hobbies?  my hobbies are all over the place bc of adhd but the most consistent ones are reading and watching/listening to true crime stuff

you can hang out with one fictional character for an hour, who do you choose?  rn I’m gonna say howl form howl’s moving castle bc I’d like to fight that idiot (affectionately) (or maybe haruka aka sailor uranus since she was my gay awakening??? idk this is hard)

compliment yourself:  don’t have nearly enough self confidence to do this hahahha sooo I’m gonna say I make good playlists bc that’s what I’ve been told by people

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idk who to tag but if you see this and want to, please do it! I love reading these thingsss 🤍