#BC I honestly don't know anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

otrtbs · 11 months ago

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this isn't gonna make a lick of sense if you haven't seen the tiktok of the girl talking about the hunger games fanfiction she read where a tribute gets gifted a machine gun but i'm sorry .... i'm rocking with fanfiction that's "implausible" like, wdym??? wdym a tribute with a machine gun makes you want to quit the story because it took you out of the fanfic???? it's just getting good bro. strap in. things are about to go wild in that arena. "it's not believable :( " if i wanted believable i'd read the actual published book. go ahead and throw renee rapp into the arena while we're at it, i wanna see where this goes.

#to me in essence this is the point of fanfiction #i know i talk about this all the time but like i genuinely don't understand #i thought it was common consensus that fanfic was just wack as hell like that #for fun reasons..... because.... yk. ... it's fanfic #honestly sometimes i think this is why no one is embarrassed anymore to admit they read fanfiction these days. they just go on tiktok #with their whole name and face and say 'i was reading this one piece fanfiction...'#and they're okay doing that bc they're not reading fanfic where people just whip out machine guns anymore... like god. is nothing sacred???#nat speaks

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quirkle2 · 2 years ago

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Warriors smiles. It's bright and wide and warm, relieved and watery and wobbly, and he feels like his body has just been recreated. The mourning over losing his only family to portals and fate ebbs from his chest, escapes through the laugh he lets out, incredulous and elated, maybe slightly hysterical, but Legend lets one out that sounds much the same, so he feels a bit more justified in it.

Instantly, the present burn in his chest snuffs out, smoke in his lungs and soot on his bones, and the hello, good morning, I love you, wants to pour out of him like water to a rickety dam.

piece to accompany a wip fic of mine, cinnamon

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gorkaya-trava · 5 months ago

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not autistic enough to be diagnosed with aspergers in my country, not neurotypical enough to be around people and not feeling like I'm from another planet, but a secret third thing

#yeah we haven't adopted ICD-11 yet and I honestly don't know when we would do it #bc of all the panic around transgender people and just a total stupidity and inhumanity of this fucking gov #my traits are just too “mild” for me to be diagnosed w aspergers lmao #it's more like a “broaden autism phenotype” here #but it's not a thing anymore?? I'm still autistic?? bc of all my traits just. meeting the criteria of ICD-11??#I honestly hate it here #btw I scored high on RAADS-R and AQ so idk maybe I fall under aspergers criteria too #actually autistic #autism

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chaiilamb · 2 days ago

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i am in a constant battle between "asking my first girlfriend from a relationship of two years that ended two years ago to try and rekindle a friendship" and "do i just let it go"

#૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა #our relationship was all online. started on picrew (yk the image editing app) the ONLY contact we have anymore is that we're friends on gen #and not even on my new/main account. on my old account. the one i have my albedo on. we haven't talked in over a year #but i still look at their genshin account sometimes... we got into genshin together. so playing it always makes me think of her at least a #to be honest. we didn't end that well.... i ended the relationship bc i thought i had a crush on a boy i had a class with...#i broke up with her to confess to him. and honestly. i don't regret a lot of things. but i regret NOTHING more in my life than ending thing #i genuinely think she was my soulmate. my person. and i ended it bc i was 15/16. dumb. had an untreated mental illness. and was always chas #and i thought that would be that guy. but no. i think about her every single day. literally not a day goes by that she doesn't cross my min #i wonder if she still thinks about me too.. probably not. and if she does it isn't anything good.#but to me she was the most beautiful person in the world. she was so kind. and soft and loving. and maybe that's cringe and juvenal #but it's the truth. every time i see her genshin account i think about reaching out. but then i wonder if i should just un-add her and brea #that last bit of connection we have. i really never know what im supposed to do..#honestly. i say i've never been in a relationship. but technically i've been in many. like a lot (4 + the one im in now)#but none of them were ...... well i dunno how to describe them. but i don't like thinking about them. so i just like to pretend they didn't #happen and that they don't exist. but.. im afraid i am rambling and getting to soggy. so i will zip my lips closed.#(but like honestly.... advice ?)#tbd

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transsexualhamlet · 8 days ago

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Can't believe I've already been hit with this again but I guess I have to restate the psa: if you gift your transgender relative harry potter merch I'm going to blow up your house

#rowan screams into the void #like read the fucking room jesus christ #its so funny bc they literally knew the entire story about her current political exploits. they just don't fucking care #love the liberal ally relatives. only place I still go and get consistently misgendered anymore #but its of course fine! because it's just hard for old people and you know they support you right?#and its honestly baffling anyway because i have given zero indication since age 10 of having any interest in harry potter #like grandma i have a mustache the waitress thinks you have dementia

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halojalex · 5 months ago

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whenever people say jack and alex dated/g&c is about jalex/etc they're generally joking but i want people to know im being so real when i say that i think jack and alex were together for a brief time

#i've always been deliberately vague about how i feel about this bc i know it's an unpopular opinion #and i know people who genuinely think that certain band members dated have a bad reputation #so like i know i sound insane sometimes #but i kind of don't care anymore #i wanna share my thoughts bc i have so many but so few people share my opinion #and the thing that always gets me is that everyone knows it's there #like if there's enough reason to make jokes about the fact that maybe they dated for a time then why can't it be for real #also i want to make it very clear that i have absolutely nothing against lisa #in fact i genuinely really like her #this isn't me being one of *those* fans #i just honestly think that jack and alex were more than friends during the time alex was separated from lisa #i could write an entire essay on why i think this #(i have done fr)#i promise i'm not just pulling this out of my ass LMAO #jack #jack barakat #alex #alex gaskarth #jalex #all time low

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azaracyy · 10 months ago

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today, cupimon prays for your happiness too.

#digimon #cupimon #oc:elise #made myself draw more personal oc art when not working on comms haha #tbh the motivation behind this was a moment of weakness. like. wanting people to tell you you have done well and everything will be ok #but i also want to heal others that way. it's complicated. the world only seems to get harsher and harsher #holy or angel type digis are good picks for such and cupimon are adorable #imma be realistic this is a pretty tough time to be alive. let's not even try to compare with past eras or the like #the truth is so many of us are struggling so friggin hard we don't even know it anymore bc it's become so routine to our life #but it's honestly? really twisted? if you think of it that way. we're so used to suffering in life. it's so sad.#can only hope things get better someway. somehow. may good news even a little arrives to each of yall this week #btw really sorry folks. after the ai fiasco this site has gotten itself into i'm gonna post even lower res version for my newer works jic #artists writers creatives. do stay safe. keep yourselves and your work safe as much as you can #do what you need to do regardless it matters to you or not ok!#png

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blue-eyed-giant · 4 months ago

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actually, as i start approaching 20 i realize nana is not a cool coming of age story but it is, in fact, a horror

#as i age i can't blame hachi anymore #i used to throw so much shit at the “adults” for not protecting shin #but now i realizr your power over a teenager is so so limited unless you are his actual family #the best you can do is be a good influence and soft-parent him into being a decent person #hachi's actions make more sense than they did when i was 16 now and i understand how she was petrified to make a decision in those situation #ren's death hits more and more as a tragedy now realizing how young and misguided and stressed he truly was #and yasu too bc honestly as i live closer to people his age i realize he wasnt so much older or even maturer #he took care of others even though he himself didnt know anything much #being put in those situations without the backing of your family or someone actually wise is so so horrible i don't know what i would do #and i do get junko bc of this bc when you are not in the situation yourself it is easy to just be the virtuous one and play god #nana #i will reread this once i actually hit 20

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asinglesock · 4 months ago

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so uh

#a sock speaks #I think I might actually experience attraction to men? not as definitively as to women but sometimes #I think I was compartmentalizing things for quite a while #bc I didn't feel okay to have a relationship with a woman #and if I wasn't willing to have a relationship with a woman then it felt weird/wrong somehow to #allow myself to be with a man?#it felt like a betrayal somehow. I felt like I'd be judged or punished for it. or even if not that I'd be doing something wrong.#in retrospect this was the OCD talking #I don't really consider myself side b in the same way anymore. I don't know that I'd enter a relationship #but largely that's because I have anxiety about intimacy and issues with self worth 👍#but I've realized that I can't always tell the difference between shame over wrongdoing and fear of how others will react to me #and fear is not worth a life choice of that scale. but love is #and honestly. I'm acearo spec. I'm not likely to have a conventional relationship. for the present I'm still not planning on a relationship #I've wondered if maybe I have a celibate vocation. which is still possible even with all of this [gestures vaguely]#idk. for now I'm using the word queer to describe myself. it's comfortably open ended.#but also I was too afraid that dating/marrying a man would place me into a power structure I could never escape #and now I think maybe I don't have to be as afraid of that #now the awkward thing would be to let friends/family know without making them think I'm ex-gay 💀

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karokawwo · 4 months ago

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I don't think his hair is his grayest feature

#i swear he's SO gray it HAS to be on purpose otherwise this man wins the ashiest skin award #he might just be actually gray. anime gets away with coloring black characters so badly idk who to trust anymore #honestly idk how to feel about this game the art is REALLY good and apparently it's a thriller? but the writing as of now is kinda awkward #might be bc it's the intro i just hope it gets better #rn we got this dogboy who wants the protag to follow him but he hasn't said shit and so we dont know ehat he wants #and these lame ass dudes (who i have to play as) picked a fight with him #and we just kinda pushed aside the main issues for now??? idk i haven't played the fight yet but i dont like the writing #doesnt help that the translation is kinda bad as well BUT as far as i'm aware these erolabs games don't have super big teams behind them soo #i'll try to be kind and hope they get better

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roscoehamiltons · 2 months ago

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also while i'm on a tangent, i think ppl need to stop using twitter and the man who owns that site needs to be de-platformed 👍

#like it's very telling that most (if not all? from what i could tell) of the hate speech about lewis staying at the ferrari house was from #one specific source (twitter). like i went on reddit and looked at the comments and even tho some ppl were not thrilled about it #nothing said was out of line and no slurs were found. and i know reddit isn't perfect but it's honestly preferable to twitter for getting #f1 news at this point. bc at least the mods will try and remove ppl if they cross a certain line. meanwhile on twitter teflon is actively #encouraging hate speech against minorities and it seems like things are just getting worse on that site esp now w us politics #and i don't think that ppl should be subjecting themselves to that esp when they're bipoc (and/or queer)#i saw a post earlier that said smth about how you can't block everyone on social media bc that's not how it works and that's true #(and i have a lot of thoughts about blocking culture esp on tumblr but that's another post lol)#but you can choose which platforms to give your time and energy to and twitter shouldn't be one of them anymore imo

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byanyan · 1 year ago

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laira schmitt, with love, always. / emily berry, the numbers game / p.d / unknown / cowboyvamp

#was this worth the amount of time i put into it trying to find sources? no #did i have to remove a lot of the quotes i wanted in here bc i couldn't find most of the sources? yes #did i include one unknown anyway bc that quote was the one that got me going? yes i did #am i posting it anyway? yeah ig why not #been thinking a lot about byan's childhood recently and part of it is bc spacy-#well. bc spacy. bc of course it was spacy.#but specifically bc she got me thinking about byan finally getting some revenge on even just one of the people who hurt them and i just #i've been spiralling thinking about it since then #i don't think you're SUPPOSED to weave one quote throughout the whole thing but u know what idc this is my blog #honestly this might not even be fully coherent i can't tell anymore bc i've been staring at it for too long #anyway. dinner and then i'll see about some actual writing now that this is finally out of my head #━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ musings ⋮ cowards only come through when the hour's late.

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hoyotunes · 6 months ago

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#admin post #hoyo-mix #zzz #zenless zone zero #honkai impact #hi3 #hsr #honkai star rail #genshin will still be solely at genshimp3 #but i'm preparing for when zzz releases because i just KNOW i'm gonna want to upload its ost #but i don't really want to make another blog and this one feels kinda empty/idle since i'm not going as in depth #in general i don't think i'll ever go as in depth as genshin's is anymore bc its honestly a pain ajkdsf #i don't play hi3 but i wouldn't mind uploading all their osts. itll give me an excuse to listen to the whole thing anyways lol #there are a lot though so it'll take me a while and this blog might feel spammy in that sense for a bit OTL #if this one stays hsr though that's fine too. then i'll just focus solely on zzz in a new blog

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lesbianfrottage · 2 months ago

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Realized I'm too lashy outy rn to even try and claw my way out of this by talking to people because if I have to hear people gush about their love lives rn it's gonna kill me and make me just not behave right and I don't WANT to do that I'm just so goddamn jealous.

#like it's not like i haven't loved hard enough or anything it's UNFAIR that other people can fall deeply in love in like months #it's UNFAIR that they get to be happy when they didn't even CARE that much about dating #and it's ESPECIALLY unfair when i obviously love all these people bc even if there's one BIG love i actually like #actively WANT to date #it's not like im not a little in love with everyone i know #and im not good enough for any of them :')#genuinely i don't know what to do im ACTUALLY at my wit's end atm #i cant do this much longer tbh #if any longer #I can't be some pathetic thing no one loves anymore #it's too much and i can't handle it #honestly gonna do something risky probably and maybe even very permanent #hurts too much not to at least TRY to leave

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kuromi-hoemie · 2 months ago

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last rb stressed me out lowkey akakska i had an ex like that and it became a self fulfilling prophecy kinda thing..

#like oof where do i even begin #for one... would recommend looking up what pedestalling is so u can catch urself when ur doing it.#and. hm. honestly even working on self worth n whatnot i think rly internalizing not 2 pedestal ppl cuts out a lot of self sabotage #like hello ppl in ur life r there bc they choose to be. you are worth it to them and they are showing u that w action.#u gotta be vulnerable.. u gotta trust in other ppl.. cautious optimism is fine but 😮‍💨😮‍💨#i hate when ppl assume what im thinking and feeling and act upon that. assumptions on assumptions.#my mom was like that in a mean spirited vindictive way. my ex would spiral if i took too long to respond stressed as hell #thinking that i had all these horrible thoughts about her or that i was just using her like holy shit I'm just sitting here drawing ajsjka #i am trying to make friends. i am recovering from my own personal circumstances and trying to figure myself out etc.#was also actively working on finding myself as a trans woman bc it was so early in my transition.#idk. like damn ppl have Lives‚ hobbies‚ other ppl they talk to‚ they take time for themselves.#if u don't know and ur stressed about it‚ ask..? but then believe ppl when they answer idk.#sorry.. I've annoyed myself lmao. it was wild... things were dead simple on my end but she came up w hella things she swore HAD to have bee #true and after breaking up w her she kept DMing me w long ass self deprecating vents and mischaracterisations #i had to block her after a while like 😐 u ever see somebody go to therapy and get worse somehow #i cannot fw people who have low self esteem anymore but like i sympathize from a distance lol #hello from the other side of the interaction... self love/worth is hard but please try #ur mischaracterization of ppl based on assumptions is hurting them and it will alienate ppl n push them away #and then become a sort of self fulfilling prophecy.. but also take what I'm saying w a grain of salt 🤷🏾‍♀️#i just have my personal experiences

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astrxealis · 1 year ago

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hi guys please wish me luck for my college entrance exam tomorrow for one of my dream schools xoxo

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#LET'S GOOO MGA PAREH 💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅💙🦅#i'm so chill for some reason even if ik i will never forgive myself if i don't get in. anyway. manifesting!!! i will pass with flying colors #IT'S REAL DAMN STRESSFUL FOR ME bcs i am aiming for honors courses which means i have to be top 15%... i am top 15% (and higher) in my batch #in school anyway but... urgh...#so. yeah. give me all your best wishes thankyousomuchxoxo AHHEHEHWHSHFJAH sobbing (but fr. if you do. i really appreciate it!!)#i believe in myself :] mostly. the time limit scares me and math and abstract reasoning bcs 5 minutes for 30 items but yeah. okay.#i am Smart ..... bro i literally got perfect on my physics exam and got 100 in statistics (i am really proud of these in particular)#my extracurriculars are good !! all my math scores are insane (cue a math nerd) and science (science nerd) english (god. no explanation #needed) honestly every subject is slay and so is my essay-making but ERGH. honors course... top 15%...#i will try to be chill! honestly i am already lol the nerves aren't getting to me somehow. gl to me and all that i know and do not know.#both here and irl :3 also to fellow ph kids (who are most likely younger than me if they aren't older and yk not worrying abt cets anymore #LMFAO) err idk if . okay idk what i was going to say LMFAO anyway i'm busy af and idk if i'm good with teaching others #but if you ever want any tips from me (honestly i don't really have tips. i do what i do and just make it. but there's a lot involved there)#feel free to come to me for anything ^_^ anything at all tbh. doesn't have to be acads idk i like helping others in general. BUT IT DEPENDS.#but yeah just hmu whatever i will have you know i am genuinely a smart & responsible kid and i am proud of that bcs my family is amazing w #smarts but also the Hard Work is there so :3 !! english is my forte science is my forte math is my forte. also socsci and whatever tbh.#i'm probably insane but i genuinely love all those topics and what we learn in school FISHFK so yeah !!! okay i shut up now #will do my best... zzz... and then i will work on myself. to be better than i already am and even better than i could possibly be. ya. fun!#the mga pareh is a joke btw i like imitating filipino kids like that. like yooo mga pareh let's goooooo wahee!!!!!

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