#BANGER POST OP

[enderlordisadumbusername]

ok wait i never realized that skyrim having so many just random books that just have full text in them would mean that elder scrolls lore would be this deep, like it makes sense, i just never made the connection

everytime someone asks me about the khajiit/bosmer relation its like activating sleeper agent except instead of killing someone i turn into a tes anthropologist

[abnormalpsychology]

knuckle tatts that say HIIII IIIII

[attyrocious]

just look at this tiktok so i dont have to explain myself

[gillionmeowstrider]

absence of warmth.

based off this post by @theratdruid

[siffrin-enthusiast]

couldnt be siffrin

[attempting to flirt] if i was stuck in a timeloop id desperately explain my situation to you every single reset

[strawberryteabunny]

oldschool Angelic Pretty strawberry dresses🍓

[genderrevealparty]

good god something evil is happening in the notes

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

[moonworshippinglesbiandotcom]

swifties kinda up there with the worst fandoms ever

[luigiheritageposts]

Luigi heritage post

Imagine with me Mario knows exactly what Luigi‘s type in men are so when him and peach are talking Mario’s like “what does this bowser fellow even look like anyways” peach goes on to describe him as like 10 foot fire breathing turtle Mario starts asking questions like how would you describe his eyes

Peach:… I guess Stern and sharp

Mario: looking increasingly worried “does he have a deep voice like rustic”

Peach: starting to get concerned yeah??

Mario: I need to get to my brother!!

Peach: what? I mean of course we’re going to get your brother but you seem… Extra desperate

Mario: I can’t have my brother falling for tyrant

Peach: WHAT?!?! Mario what are you talking about.

Mario: “ tall! deep rustic voice! sharp AND stern looking man THATS TOTALLY HIS TYPE!! we’re lucky that he’s a real bad guy so it’s not like he’s going to do anything like caress Luigis face gently ”

meanwhile Luigi looking into Bowser‘s eyes as his chin is lifted up to make sure he doesn’t look away (oooh nooo hee’s hoooot!!!!)

[tryinginvaintobreathethefire]

how dare the ✨bruce springsteen✨ subreddit make me feel old. people in the comments had to explain to this person what a hidden track is, i can feel my body turning to dust

[heal2ninjagogirl]

I don't think season 7's opening song gets enough credit or hype like I hear stuff about season 5's opening song but I don't hear ANYTHING about season 7 like whattt

[joelletwo]

[pointing] teen boy

[idkanothersideblog]

^op this! But more specifically the type of mother-son relationship that sy and sj have is like the weird boy-mom kind. And that’s where the rumors of them also having a sexual relationship stem from.

The Shen Jiu & Shen Yuan dynamic I need to see more of is Shen Jiu coming to see Shen Yuan as a father figure, perhaps even a mother figure. And not in the way you think.

We are always talking about Shen Yuan's wife beam, but we don't talk about his mommy beam. I think Shen Jiu could resist the wife beam if subjected to it, but I don't believe he has any defense for the mommy beam. Now, I'm not talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating earlier than canon, meeting a child Shen Jiu and adopting him.

I'm talking about Shen Yuan transmigrating after Shen Jiu has already taken over Qing Jin peak. I'm talking about 21 year old Shen Yuan transmigrating into the body of a nameless rogue cultivator, meeting fully grown man already in his thirties Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu, and hitting him with his mommy/daddy-issuesinator and causing him a life threatening Qi deviation.

Shen Qingqiu can't help but trust him, and eventually looks up to him, sees him as a wise elder he seeks out for advice. He fucking hates it but he can't help himself. This homeless man he met in the forest is the closest thing he's ever had to a father. Also. He sort of wants Shen Yuan to breastfeed him in a, and he means this, non sexual way and he can't cope with that. He would just feel so safe!!

Shen Yuan, 21 years old, rogue cultivator, first time transmigrator and the father who stepped up, thinks he befriended the scum villain, and maybe? He can be a good influence on him? Be a good friend and guide him towards a fully limbed future. He's practically raising him but nobody tell him that.

Shen Jiu lost his childhood to slavery and his teenage years to violent madmen. and now he's behaving in ways he doesn't understand. He once lost Shen Yuan in the town's market, ran towards a man who looked exactly like Shen Yuan from behind, and almost had a panic attack when the man turned out to be a stranger. It's all good because Shen Yuan found him before he started swinging Xiu Ya ("Have you seen my friend? He's this tall, clearly traumatized, but we haven't had the talk")

People think they're lovers at some point because Shen Jiu is quite possessive of Shen Yuan's attention, but everybody realizes that there's something way more innocent, and also weirder, and worse, going on between them when Shen Yuan drags Shen Qingqiu by the hand to apologize to the sect leader for being so rude when poor A-Yue is trying his best, and stands there with arms crossed, eyebrows raised, until Shen Qingqiu mumbles an apology, glances at Shen Yuan, and runs away.

"I'm sorry about that, Sect Leader Yue, he's had a bad day. I'm sure he didn't mean it."

Yue Qingyuan, someone who did actually sort of raise Shen Qingqiu, who's stood in Shen Yuan's shoes before, extracting reluctant apologies from an indignated Shen Jiu, to authority figures so he wouldn't get in trouble, is overcome by an intense, never before experienced wave of jealousy, so sudden it makes him spit vinegar flavored blood.

Then, a panicked Shen Yuan accidentally hits him with the mommy beam by accidentally adopting him (trying to befriend this guy who clearly needs a friend he can confide in!). And now he's placed himself in the young step-mom role who's desperately trying to bond with her new husband's teenage children but they're wired to not like her! (He used those exact words when explaining to Shang Qinghua where that new tension he has with the Sect Leader came from)

Liu Qingge is afraid of him. Maybe. He runs away when their eyes meet but he keeps leaving dead things at his feet so like, he's probably threatening him? He feels intimidated by him? Or something?

(Liu Qingge thinks Shen Qingqiu's older brother is so cool and really wants to hang out with him, but if Shen Yuan calls him Didi one more time Liu Qingge's barely held back "Yes, Gege?" Is going to jump out of his mouth and he WILL Qi deviate and EXPLODE)

When Binghe enters the equation shit gets a lot weirder.

First, he believes Shen Yuan to be Shen Qingqiu's neglected spouse (Shizun keeps leaving his poor wife alone when he goes out on night hunts and to visit brothels! Shen Yuan has needs!! He should be with someone who cherished him!! Someone who would treat him as he deserves to be treated, someone who'd wait hand and foot on him!!!) needless to say, Luo Binghe's teenage fantasies take on an even more illicit turn than in canon (it goes from "STERN TEACHER POUNDED BY STUDENT AT BAIZHAN TRAINING GROUNDS" to "NEGLECTED WIFE CHEATS WITH STUDENT ON HUSBAND'S BED!! IMPREGNATED WHILE HUSBAND IS AWAY")

Luo Binghe, of course, does his best to seduce him, but ends up being coddled and cuddled.

"it's like I'm his handmaiden, his shadow, the only witness to my lady's heartbreak at her husband's cold regard and indiscretions. Shizun won't spare him a moment if not to discuss cultivation or business! He won't allow Shen Yuan more than a head pat! and move away from any other touch! How ungrateful! They don't even share a bed! I brush his hair, I dress him every morning, I pour him tea and he lets me rest my weary head on his lap. The intimacy we share is not sexual, but Ning-Shijie, I wish it was! I saw the outline of his dick yesterday and I need it!"

"A-Luo please stop talking."

Then, he realizes he misunderstood. Shen Yuan is a cultivator so of course he looks so young! Shen Yuan is clearly Shen Qingqiu's father. He's constantly worried for his un-filial son and remains by his side!! That explains everything!!!(LONELY DILF RIDES YOUNG MAN ON QING JING'S LIBRARY!! HE WISHES YOUNG MAN WAS HIS SON!!!!)

He goes from trying to steal Shen Qingqiu wife to steal his father. He could be Shen Yuan's friend, lover, and son. His student. His confidant. His silly rabbit.

Shen Qingqiu KNOWS this. But nobody will fucking believe him!! The jiejies at the pavilion giggle and tell him he must be exaggerating, and when he went to Yue Qingyuan so he could intervene and fix it, Yue Qi just looked at him dead eyed and said to "Let him." !!! Let him what?? Deflower our father Qi-Ge??? Shame on you!! That beast is trying to break this family apart!!

But wait!!! look!!! a crack opened in the fabric of space and reality, leading directly to hell. Wouldn't it be a shame if someone were to, accidentally, drop kick this homewrecker inside it?

Luo Binghe's is gone when Shen Qingqiu realizes oh wait, that was a demon mark on his forehead wasn't it. Oh good, now he has an excuse. Baba will understand.

(Baba doesn't understand. Baba acts as if he's lost his soul and won't look him in the eye. He's also growing mushrooms bodies in the garden, and added a drop of Shen Qingqiu's blood in the seeds before planting? Which is odd. but at least if he's gardening then he's not staring at that swordmound for hours on end)

I don't even know where I'm going with this

[yourthirdparent]

obsessed with the idea of a jasonlityerses friendship btw. you see lit's ass in the dark prophecy? i want him to be friends with jason. they spar together and jason loses every time because he gets distracted by how hot lit is. they lay on couches and one of them has their head in the other's lap while said other pets them. lit keeps getting nature valleyed cuz jason refuses to stop eating granola bars

[ineffable-gallimaufry]

i think that every time i make a post and think wow this should get a billion note it should get like. at least a thousand

[schneckmag]

Amazing how ghost became the patron Saint of 'he wouldn't fucking say that' within a month. Astounding even