#BANG CHAN CHEATING

[hanadulsetaad]

"In the Warmth of Trust: A Promise Recalled"

BANG CHAN X READER ( Y/N) BREAKUP

TYPE: ANGST, CHEATING, INSECURITY, BREAKUP

PART 2

One year of long distance won't change anything, you thought to yourself while paying the fees for your master's course. You couldn't believe how amazing life had been lately; things with you and Channie were better than ever. You had recently gotten into your dream school in your favourite country. Before leaving Korea for a year, you felt very emotional leaving Bang Chan and your silly little gang; you would definitely miss them. But you couldn't shake the feeling that life had been too good too early, almost as if you had jinxed it yourself.

You couldn't believe what you just read: a text from your boyfriend of 6 years. "Hey, it's not working, okay? I've been meaning to break up with you for the last 3 years. Actually, I never wanted a serious relationship, and I don't even want kids or to get married." As you read the words, you thought it must be a joke. Bang Chan, the most perfect guy in the universe, would never say this. It had to be a prank. You had only been away for a month, and he was texting this? It couldn't be real, could it?

But it was true. Bang Chan and everyone in the gang had blocked you. A few friends of yours who were in a different friend circle told you about rumours that Bang Chan was hooking up with Sana. "In the Span of Two Months, Your Life Went from a Loving Relationship and Amazing Friends to Solitude in a Foreign Land, Without Friends or Channie."

You recall a conversation you had with Bang Chan a long time ago when he introduced you to Sana and everyone else. You remember how insecure you felt, and he said all those reassuring words about how his ideal type was only you. He expressed that he had never been interested in Sana or any other girls and that you were the only girl he wanted.

The memory replays vividly in your mind as you recall sitting with Bang Chan on a warm summer evening, the sound of cicadas filling the air.

You: "I don't know, Chan. I just feel a bit insecure sometimes, especially around Sana. She's so pretty and talented…"

Bang Chan: wrapping an arm around you "Hey, don't say that. You're the most beautiful and talented person I know. Sana is just a friend; you're my everything. My ideal type has always been you, Y/N. I've never been interested in anyone else."

You: smiling, feeling reassured "Really? You mean it?"

Bang Chan: nodding earnestly "Of course, I do. You're the only girl I want, Y/N. I love you."

You remember feeling a warmth spread through you, reassured by Bang Chan's words. But now, those memories feel like they belong to a different lifetime, a different person.

[baby-yongbok]

Caught up - Bang Chan Hard Thought

Content warning - infidelity, appearance by Minho[MDNI]

WC - 626

✧ Masterlist ✧

It all happened so fast. The scratching, ripping, moaning. Your legs wrapped around his waist, his warm hands hiked up your sundress, and pinned you to the closet wall. He held you up against him while he fought with his belt, button, and zipper. This is wrong. This is so terribly wrong, but when he sinks into you, when he fills you like he was made just for this moment, all of the guilt melts away with a strangled groan.

“Holy shit.” He's grunting while he ruts into you. There's already sweat beading at his hairline, you can feel it when he kisses your neck. He sucks forbidden marks into the skin, and you know you should tell him to stop. You need to tell him to stop.

“Chan, we - Chan.” Words betray you. Syllables melt into moans and your crossed eyes can't follow a single thought.

“I know, I know. I'm sorry.” His nails dig into you in a way that contradicts his apology.

His thrusts pick up, his moans ring louder in your ears and the knot in your stomach tightens so quickly that it has you wildly clenching around him. You can feel your slick dripping from you. You can hear the way that it coats him so perfectly.

“We shouldn’t.” He's speaking like he hasn't already done it. Like he hasn't already lost his sanity in his brother's girlfriend's cunt. “I just can't-”

His sentence falls off into moans as he reaches the edge. “God I wanted you so bad.”

All that you can say is his name. All that you know is the feeling of him. His lips find yours in the dark. The kiss is clumsy and rushed and so fucking good. It's everything that the both of you have dreamt of.

It felt wrong then, when you'd touch yourself to your boyfriend's brother and moan his name so loud that your neighbors could mistake Chan for your actual lover.

Chan felt no better as he'd fuck himself to the thought of you with his brother sleeping on the other side of the thin wall. He’d bite his fist and fuck his pillow with sweet whispers of your name. He always came with his eyes closed. See no evil, commit no sin.

“Baby?” Minho called for you from the hallway. You gasp at the sound and Chan buried himself so deep inside of you that you see stars.

Chan covers your mouth. His eyes stare into your wide ones as he strokes you agonizingly slow. His cock massages your g-spot to a perfection that you've never experienced. He's perfect.

You whimper from behind his hand while he fucks you slow. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth and his eyes roll back when you squeeze him. His nails are bruising against your hips, he digs in to keep his composure but you're both losing it.

It only takes one more slow & deep thrust from him to have you seeing white. Your legs tighten around his waist and you bite your tongue so hard that you could draw blood. A whine still escapes you despite your efforts, you still squirm around him and clench so wildly that he's spilling into you as you come undone.

“Babe?” Minho steps closer to the closet. His curious ears are red as he plants one to the door.

“Oh fuck, baby.” Chan grunts through clenched teeth. He can't help it. “Shit, so tight.”

Chan tips his head back as you ride out your high. He savors each clench of your dripping cunt as it milks him dry. He takes in the way that your chest rises and falls against his. He takes it all in with his eyes closed.

And then the door opens.

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[channie-binnie]

The blue team only have Chan and a dream

[chanstopher]

🐺🫧240219

[broken-glowsticks]

What Once was Mine

Chapter 10 - Make it fit

Genre: Childhood friends, Eventual Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Love corner/love triangle, love rivals, Series. Not all chapters will be proofread!!

Warnings: 18+, mdni, mentions of sex and alcohol consumption, additional warnings will be added to individual chapters as needed.

Additional warnings: there's some implied, almost cheating. Idk how else to put it, but it's there, and I just thought I'd let people know.

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Hyunjin dragged his brush against the canvas, smearing paint together as music blasted from his speakers. Along the walls hung numerous canvases already covered in his artwork, drenched in all his emotions.

The past few weeks, whenever he wasn't at work or being dragged from his apartment by Minho, Seungmin, and Jeongin to spend time with them, he was holde up in his spare room that he had been slowly converting into a make-shift art studio - as it had the largest window and the most ventilation. It was cathartic, spilling every thought and feeling into whatever medium he had on hand, which turned out to be quite a bit. He and Minho had bought an art class's worth of supplies when they went out, but it was well worth it.

Painting truly became a respite. He had turned dancing into his career, sucking almost every bit of relief the activity brought him, leaving only his art as a way to process the feelings that demanded to be felt.

Yes, dancing didn't mean what it used to, but at least it was still a good way to work off his sexual frustration, an exceedingly agitating sensation he's been feeling quite a lot lately. No matter what he did, no matter who he did, it was never enough, it never felt right. What the serious hell was wrong with him? He's been like this ever since you started dating “The Boyfriend”, and Hyunjin really couldn't wrap his mind around what the connection was between his upset feelings over that and his out of whack libido, if he didn't know any better it was almost like having sex with you was the only thing that could get him off.

Hyunjins brush paused on the canvas as a realization hit him. That's exactly what this was. After all, he only slept with those other girls because he could never fully have you, and as far as he knew you never wanted him as something more, so he just kept up his fuckboy habits from highschool as a way to work off all that extra need. In hindsight, that was not the best idea, downright dumb even. Other girls were only ever good for a night. None of them were you and thus couldn't last, which caused him to leave a trail of broken hearts in his wake. But he couldn't seem to stop. For him, it was a desperately needed distraction and enough to hold him over until the next time you were in his arms. Yet, now that you've essentially broken up with him, nothing was enough. What was the point in working off all that pent-up carnal desire with strangers if, in the end, you would never end up in his arms again?

Hyunjin let out a rough sigh, this really was like a break up - not that he actually knew what that felt like. In all his life, he was always the heartbreaker, never the heartbroken and to make matters worse he did this with his own two hands. Maybe he should have listened to Minho and taken the chance to confess his feelings for you, to just get them off his chest and let whatever happens, happen. Or maybe he should have been selfish and not let Changbin have you to begin with, effectively breaking your heart but leaving room for him to pick up the pieces, maybe then you'd see him as someone to love. Not as a friend but as a lover to spend the rest of your life with as easily as you spent the start of it. But he was too much of a coward, too scared to risk rejection, to risk what little intimacy was left between the two of you, too cowardly to face the reason why he never felt like you loved him to begin with.

Scoffing at himself, Hyunjin slashed his brush, splattering acrylic in an action that mirrored the agony swirling in his heart, before flinging his paintbrush across the room in an attempt to push down the disgusting feelings of filth and inadequacy that rose in his throat like bile. He loved you. He's loved you since you were children but never knew what to call the emotions that tethered him to you. He knew you were comfort and dependability, that your smile was amazing, that your laugh was a shining light in darkness, that your scent belonged to linger in his life, in his bed, on his clothes, and in his hair, but he never knew that was love and as he got older he got lost in trying to find out exactly what love was. He got so lost, in fact, that when he came to his senses, you were crying next to him in your bed, asking what you did to make yourself so unwanted. How did he lose so much time? How could he even do that to you? His most precious person.

It was that night when he found out what love was and - most important - that he was in love with you. But that was also the night he thought you could never be in love with him.

How could you? He left you, completely abandoned you, and for what? To be with other girls, sometimes even older women? Girls and women that only used him - either for sex or status, sometimes both? He did dirty things, drank too much, partied too hard, got into a few scrapes, made some enemies, nothing too severe but enough that he knew he wasn't the same innocent kid he was before your parting. At the end of it all, despite realizing he was in love with you, he came to the heart rendering realization that he doesn't know how to love - only how to fuck. How could you love someone who didn't know how to love you back? It would never be enough. And so, Hyunjin decided to give you the only thing he knew, hoping, praying that it would be enough for you to stay by his side.

It worked for a while, it gave him enough time to heal and work through his issues - some of which you were integral in helping him overcome - but by the time you two had settled into becoming adults, Hyunjin had convinced himself that there was truly no chance for the two of you. After all, if the two of you were meant to be, it would have happened by now, right? Or was that just him being cowardly again, too afraid of change? If you loved him, then there would have been signs, but he didn’t see any. You would come, you would accept his affection and kisses, but it was always him that wanted you to stay. That had to mean something, right?

Hyunjins' hands rubbed roughly over his face before sliding upward into his hair, tugging harshly at the roots and staining the locks with splotches of acrylic. He was filled with frustration and loneliness. It’s been weeks since you called him, complaining about The Boyfriend leaving you alone in his apartment to work out. It’s been even longer since he’s even seen you in person. How long, he’s not entirely sure. It’s been agony being without you, but what could he do? If he saw you, Hyunjin wasn’t entirely sure he’d be able to stop himself from pulling you close and kissing you, partially out of habit, but mainly because he missed you.

The sound of a phone call interrupting his music snapped Hyujin from his mental torpor. He hoped to god it wasn’t one of his friends or work. He was in the mood to wallow. However, the contact made his breath stop as he fumbled for his phone, attempting to answer as quickly as possible, to hell with smearing paint on his phone.

“Y/N?” Hyunjin breathed out, causing you to hesitate, surprised by his use of your name.

“Yeah, uh, hi Hyunnie- I- I mean, Hyunjin,” you facepalmed. When were you going to break your habit of using pet names with him? “How… How are you? It’s been a while.”

“Yeah… it has…” Hyunjin answered, still bewildered. A pregnant pause passed before you finally brought yourself to speak, feeling the need to break the silence.

“I miss you, Jinnie.”

“I miss you too, Beautiful.”

“Can I see you?”

“Can you?” Hyunjin asked gently. If he were honest, the reason he hadn't gone to see you is mainly because he didn't feel as if he deserved to. Would it really be alright? Spending time with you, being with you, alone, when he was the one who stepped away in the first place? Him, the guy you were sleeping with, and who The Boyfriend knows is in love with you?

“Of course I can! Just because I'm dating someone doesn't mean I can't see you. He's my boyfriend, not my dad.”

“At least I would hope he's not. That would be weird,” Hyunjin replied rather flatly, but his face broke into a smile when you laughed.

“I'll be over soon,” you said once the giggles subsided.

“I'll be waiting, Beautiful.”

○●☆♡☆●○

Hyunjin felt nervous as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. Was he too overdressed? You two were just going to hang out at his place, right? His eyes dragged over his slicked back hair - still wet from his shower, the pricings in his ears, his pinstriped button up shirt, the necklace dangling from his neck, it looked like he was ready for a date. The only thing that was casual on him was his jeans, and even then, if Minho saw him now, he'd say Hyunjin was trying too hard. Maybe he should change?

It was too late. The sound of his doorbell told him you were here. Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin made his way to the door. Time to face you.

When he opened the door, Hyunjin was stunned into a temporary silence. Had you dressed up, too? Or was it just his imagination? Little did Hyunjin know, you had also put effort into looking as casually pretty as you could in your tights, black denim shorts, ankle boots, and button up, long sleeved crop top. You also had the exact same thoughts as he was in the moment.

“Hey, Beautiful. You look gorgeous tonight,” Hyunjin said, pulling you into a short, chaste hug. “Oh, was that okay to say?”

“I think it was?” You giggled, returning the hug, “ thank you, by the way, you look really good too.”

“I always look good,” Hyunjin grinned as he ushered you inside, relishing in the familiarity of your responding eye roll. It was a welcome distraction from the fact that the last time you were in his apartment he was fucking you into ever surface of his apartment. A memory that had been screaming at you too ever since you crossed the threshold into the entryway. This was going to be an interesting evening. Not once since the two of you reconnected had either of you felt so awkwardly around each other.

“Sooooo, did you have anything you wanted to do?” Hyunjin asked tentatively, looking anywhere but at you.

“Well… we both seem to be dressed to go out, wanna… go get dinner?” You suggested as timidly. Hyunjin miles the idea over for a bit before smiling down at you.

“Sure, I could go for food. Let me get my keys, I know a spot.”

○●☆♡☆●○

“You know, when you said you ‘knew a spot���, I didn't think you were talking about a bar.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Hyunjin tutted, his finger wagging, “bar and grill,” he corrected.

“Whatever,” you said with a roll of your eyes, taking a sip of the drink in front of you. You were in desperate need of alcohol, once again feeling awkward and unsure of how to act. How did you act with Hyunjin before you and Changbin began dating? You weren't sure, and you felt so stupid for it.

An extensive silence passed between the two of you, only being broken by the bartender coming to take your orders. The bar and grill was small, only allowing the impressively large bar and a few tables to fit within the four walls of the establishment, most of their business seemed to have been from take out orders by the way people shuffled in and out. Thank God the weather was starting to warm up.

It was only when the two of you received your food and had begun eating that Hyunjin was unable to bear the silence and the pitying looks from the people around him.

“Okay, enough of the awkward first date energy. This isn't us.”

You sighed, taking another dig at your food before nodding, unable to fight how right he was.

“I just…” you began, “I don't know what to do, basically our whole lives we've never had any boundaries and now that I'm suddenly trying to figure out where to place them, it feels wrong because it's you.” You paused to chew on your lip a bit before taking a swig of your drink, Hyunjin simply sat patiently beside you, listening attentively. “But the thing is, things have changed and as wrong as it feels it's the right thing to do. My main problem is that I'm over analyzing everything, torn between trying to still be your best friend and be Changbins' girlfriend.”

Hyunjin released a small huff, swallowing down his selfish thoughts of how you wouldn't be having these kinds of issues if you were his. Now wasn't the time. Even though he took a step back, you were hurting, and, quite frankly, Hyunjin could sympathize as he was also facing the same conundrum.

“My poor Y/N,” Hyunjin tried his best to sound nonchalant as he popped a fry into his mouth. “I'm not going to sugar coat this, that's rough,” you glared up at him as he held his hand over his plate and ran his thumb over the pads of his ringed fingers, dusting off the crumbs from his fry.

“Thank you, Hyunjin. That is soooo helpful.”

“I'm not trying to be ‘helpful’, I'm agreeing with you,” he corrected with a bit more seriousness than before, adjusting in his seat to face you. “Let's be real here Y/N, this is your first boyfriend since we started our relationship. I'll admit, neither of us knows how to do this without worrying over whether we're crossing any boundaries here, but you know what I just realized, baby? We shouldn't be so worried about this.”

You threw him a quizzical look, egging him to continue. Hyunjin gave you an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes and leaning back in his chair to continue eating at his food.

“If you're so concerned about boundaries than go talk to The Boyfriend about it, not your friends who you used to fuck. Secondly, other than the fact that we've stopped fucking, nothing else has changed about us, so what's there to overthink? We just have to break a few habits is all.” Hyunjin earnestly tried to sound collected, informative even - judging by the enlightened glow softening your features, he was successful - but truly Hyunjin spoke with more confidence than he had. “Break a few habits”? How the hell was he supposed to casually stop pulling you close to hold you gently or kiss your lips when, even now, he was longing to lay his hand over yours? To pour out every ounce of love he has for you until it fills you whole?

“Oh my god, Hyunnie, you're a genius,” you suddenly mumbled out, making him break out into a smile.

“You should tell me that now often,” was his curt reply as he continued eating his food, with you following suit.

After that conversation came easy. You two had tons to talk about, eager to catch up on the time you've spent apart: New hobbies, change in work conditions, how the change in weather has affected your respective wardrobes and how you were needing to buy new sandals for the upcoming warm weather, Hyunjin was even in such a good mood that he was willing to ask questions about your relationship with Changbin - much to your surprise.

“What about you, Jinnie? Any repeat offenders since I've been gone?”

“Nah, I've actually stopped the casual hookups.” You choked on your drink in surprise, coughing into a napkin as Hyunjin patted your back.

“Is the Hwang Hyunjin seriously off the market? What made you stop the hookups?” Hyunjin shrugged, giving you a sheepish smile.

“My painting has just been taking up more of my time, making me happier. If I'm not at work or the guys, I'm at home with my art.” You blinked at him, truly looking at him under the dim bar lights and drinking in his expression. You couldn't remember the last time he looked so content outside of his mornings alone with you.

“Hyunjin, will you show me?” The words were out of your mouth before you could process the fact you had even said them. Hyunjins gaze turned to you and softened, his smile growing but retaining its contentment.

“Of course, Beautiful.”

○●☆♡☆●○

You sat perched on the edge of Hyunjins couch, watching him with amusement as he dashed in and out of a spare room, collecting his favorite pieces. Some were on canvases, painted in oils or acrylics, others were on sheets, scribbles of pencils, charcoal, ink, and pastels flooding the pages. You were impressed. He hadn't limited himself to a single medium, as if testing which one he would find himself only to see there was a piece of him in all of them.

“What, no sculptures?” You teased as he set some loose leaves of paper beside you on the couch. Hyunjins head snapped up, and his sheepish smile returned, all white teeth and crescent moon eyes.

“I don't think I have space for sculpting,” he said with a chuckle, standing upright to scan the pieces he's picked out. “Okay, yeah, I think these are all of my favorites. What do you think?”

“I think you look like a pregnant mom when you put your hands on your waist like that.” Hyunjins baffled face looked down to his pose, suddenly seeing what you meant before playfully batting at your arm.

“Yah! I meant the art!”

After your giggles died down, you made Hyunjin go get you a drink so you could truly appreciate the copious amount of art laid out before you without anxious eyes drilling into you. You were amazed at the story the pieces told, a clear depiction of Hyunjins' rapid growth. Hyunjin had laid everything out in the order he made them, grouping them off by medium. In every group was seemingly his first ever attempt at each category and you were so impressed by how the third or fourth piece he had seemed to have gotten a firm grasp on what he was doing - but he especially excelled at mixing oils, charcoal, and pastels. Pieces of implied figures defined by rough, purposefully unstructured lines and filled in with smears of colors became a staple as you continued to flip through pieces. One of your favorite pieces was what appeared to be a page of scribbles, but as you focused your gaze, the features of a familiar face came into view. You were unable to put a finger on who the person in question was, but you were able to make out that it was a woman.

“Here we go, one hot chocolate with marshmallow and whipped cream.” You head jerked up as Hyunjin returned with two mugs, and you mumbled a thank you as you took it, making room so Hyunjin could sit beside you.

“So, thoughts?” He asked as he took a drink from his mug, smiling at how you already had whipped cream clinging to your lips.

“Mmh, I love these. You got so good, so fast.”

“I told you my art's been taking up more of my time. I've been kind of addicted to the feeling of making something.”

“It suits you,” you smiled, resting your mug of chocolate on your leg and reaching for your favorites. “I love these. You can really see that at this point you've developed a style, and it's really cool.”

Hyunjin looked at the pieces you've collected, chuckling at himself. You probably didn't notice, but, in a way, each of these were about you. One was an abstract portrait of your face, based on a memory from when the two of you were kids. The second was what it felt like whenever he made love to you, not whenever he would fuck you silly, but when he would hold you gently, kiss you passionately, and would tell you he loved you in every other way but in words. The third was a representation of the pain he felt, realizing that despite everything, you would never truly be his.

“Would you like them, Beautiful?”

“Oh, Hyunnie, really?” You asked with glee, your bright smile filling him with joy.

“Of course, I wouldn't let anyone else have them,” he said gently, reaching out to wipe the whipped cream that you so selfishly refused to lick from your lips. You gasped at the contact, his fingers eliciting flames beneath your skin, and you found your abruptly standing, setting down your drink and making your way to the door of the make-shift art studio.

“So what else have you been working on?” You asked with a bit more force than was needed.

In a panic, Hyunjin bolted from the couch, almost spilling his hot chocolate over some of his charcoal sketches as he hastily set down the mug.

“No, no, no, barred from entry!” Hyunjin shouted, lifting you from the ground mere seconds before you could even touch the handle.

“Ah! Hyunjin, put me down!”

“No!”

“Why can't I go in?!”

“Because I said so!” Hyunjin rebuttaled, putting you back down on the ground but refusing to let you go. For a moment, you believed you had a chance to escape, but before you could even attempt to sprint away, Hyunjins fingers began dancing at your side. You squealed, squirming and jolting as Hyunjin tickled you mercilessly.

“I- I want… to seeeeee!” You whined between gasps of air, but Hyunjin only doubled down, releasing your waist entirely to tickle you with both hands, causing you to drop to your knees with Hyunjin following.

“Barred. From. Entry.” He enunciated, reaching beyond your sides to any vulnerable spot he could use to his advantage, giggling as you attempted to squirm away.

“Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I won't go in, I promise!” You acquiesced.

Instantly, Hyunjin removed his hands, letting you sit up and catch your breath before wrapping his arms around you. Resting your head on his chest, you pouted, a childish need to see what he was currently working on rushing through you.

“You must be working on something big. You never hide anything from me.” You felt Hyunjins’ laugh rumble in his chest as he nuzzled your head.

“Don't be mad, it's just… the art in there. If I let you see it, it would be like I let you read my diary. I get really vulnerable in there and not that I don't trust you, but I've just been… feeling some things I'm not ready to share with anyone yet.”

You pouted again, this time at yourself, feeling silly. He shouldn't feel like he had to defend himself. That wasn't fair to him. Yes, it hurt not being aware of every facet of his life, but he deserved to have things he could keep to himself, it was only fair considering there were things you could no longer share with him either now that your relationship has changed. So, with a huff, you relented.

“Don't apologize, Jinnie, I'm just being pouty. If you feel like it's too private, then I won't pry,” you reassured him, leaning up and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek.

Hyunjins heart gave a clunky thud but he attempted to just take the moment for what it was. A warm moment between friends, a moment where one friend was simply reassuring the other and showing her comfort through a platonic show of affection. But when Hyunjin pulled away, fully intending to simply smile and thank you, his eyes met your lips over your gaze and he couldn't feel anything other than the warmth of your body in his arms, the softness of your hair, the memories of your lips against his and thoughtlessly he began to lean in.

You held your breath, completely captivated by the electricity buzzing between the two of you. Your mind was blank, your body waiting for the heat that always came when Hyunjins lips brushed against yours. If you closed your eyes, you could always recall how he'd tease whenever he had the time to, how he would ghost his lips over yours before pressing into you more aggressively, lingering just long enough that you melt before snapping away and leaving you breathless.

It was when Hyunjins ringed hand rested against your cheek that you broke back into reality, the cold metal a biting reminder that he was too close.

“Hyunjin…” you breathed, his lips a breath away from yours.

A slight gasp spilled from Hyunjin as he swiftly pulled away from you, standing and walking into the living room. He had to put as much space between you and him as possible. What the hell was he doing? What was wrong with him?

“Oh god, Y/N, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me.” Hyunjin could feel the guilt washing over him and had to bury his face in his hands to keep himself calm. He couldn't help but notice that the metal on his hands wasn't as cold as it usually would be.

This was it, though, right? He's totally crossed a line. Surely you'd never want to be alone with him again.

“Ah… that was close,” you said after a moment, your head still reeling. “I guess this is what you meant when you said we'd need to break a few habits.” Now it was your turn to smile sheepishly. Hyunjin dropped his hands, and your heart constricted as wide, glassy eyes looked over to you.

“You're not mad?”

“What? Hyunjin, no, of course I'm not mad. It's not like we actually kissed, we just got caught up in the moment,” you said, walking over and taking one of his hands in yours, your gaze focused on twiddling with his fingers. You had wanted to hug him but thought better of it, you didn't want to risk another close call. “I… I'm not saying I feel good about what almost happened, but… this is our first time seeing each other since Changbin and I started dating, and we're still… adjusting. I don't know if this really is the right thing to say, but I don't think we did anything wrong since we didn't actually kiss.”

Your eyes trailed up to his, your gaze holding his in a silent urge for him to calm down. Taking a deep breath, Hyunjin nodded, running his free hand through his hair.

“I guess… it wouldn't be bad of us to give each other a little bit of grace, yeah?”

“Yeah, I think so too,” you said with relief, dropping his hand and taking a step back, trying to work some breathing room between the two of you. “And if you're really feeling bad about this, you can always paint about it in your little room there.”

Scoffing Hyunjin tossed a pillow from the couch at you, walking over to the spare room and rapping on the door with his knuckles.

“I’ll let you see it if I ever do.”

“I'll hold you to that.”

After a beat of silence, you decided now was a good time to bow out, still feeling awkward from the almost kiss and not wanting to push your luck. Hyunjin walked you to your car but made sure to keep a small gap between you two, too afraid to even touch you. He may still want you but not like this, he never wanted to ruin your happiness in such a way, so instead he simply imagined a part of him was being held close in the three pieces you clutched tightly to your chest.

Once you had wished him goodnight and drove off, Hyunjin dashed back inside and changed into his ratty paint attire. He needed to paint, to vent, to get out all of the overflowing feelings he had struggled so desperately to reign in the moment he almost kissed you.

Walking into his studio, he gathered his supplies and replaced the canvas he had on the easel with a painting he had been working on periodically. This one was special. He had to get it right. Stepping back, he looked over the piece before continuing to render out the forms, sweeping his brush over his pallet and collecting hues that matched the mood he wanted to convey. If he was being honest with himself, out of all the pieces, this was the one he wanted you to see the least, the main centerpiece of all his vulnerability and desires. He had been struggling to name it, but after tonight, he knew exactly what to call it. Taking a nearby hard pastel, Hyunjin turned over the canvas, scrawlling in swift motions the words:

“What Once was Mine”

---------------------------------------

DEAR GOD I STRUGGLED LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER TRYING TO WRAP THIS CHAPTER UP!!! I started off all well and good, had a good rhythm going. Then freaking mom life stepped in and next thing I knew it was Friday already, what the FAWK???? I barely got this chapter out by the skin of my teeth 😭

Anyway just... here, here ya go. Enjoy the moral shades of grey with that almost kiss at the end. I'm gonna go rest my eyes now omg.

Taglist: @groovygroovyhyunjin @hhwangsmoon @luvyblossom @doggezz@kayleefriedchicken @hyunjinhoexxx

[faunandfloraas]

i love being friends with girls and then they get a boyfriend and then he becomes the center of her entire existence and all she talks about and all she focuses on and i sit there and i smile and i nod and i feel myself becoming genuinely evil

[theehexgirl]

how do you know pt. ii: how it started

synopsis: a look back at that faithful night that started it all…

characters: y/n, bang chan, bijou, changbin, han, felix, and syd; guest starring: lee know

content: smut, alcohol usage, drunk sex, cheating, outdoor sex, rooftop sex, penetrative sex, oral (f.receiving), nipple play, teasing, cunniligus, kickback

“Who all is coming aside from the old man?” Y/N asked. Her best friend rolled her eyes at the little remark about her boyfriend as they walked down the snack aisle.

“He’s not old and it’s going to be you, Chris, Changbin, Han, Seungmin, Jeongin, Amaya, Hyunjin, Syd, Felix, my sorority sisters, and a couple of my cousins,” Bijou informed her.

“Ahhh. So almost everybody you know?” Y/N teased.

“Yes,” Bijou giggled.

“You’re lucky that you have a home for kickbacks like this,” Y/N smiled.

“Me too. My grandad is the best person in the world,” Bijou gushed.

“Yes he is. Plus, your rooftop is amazing too,” Y/N said.

“The rooftop is my favorite if you know what I mean,” her best friend waggled her eyebrows. Y/N laughed, shaking her head at her friend’s silliness.

“I bet it is. Last time I fucked on a rooftop was when I was whats-his-name,” Y/N remarked.

“You mean the one with the scar on his eye or the one with the locs and grills?” Bijou questioned.

“Grills,” Y/N clarified.

“Ahh. Eww,” Bijou said.

“Don’t be rude. I didn’t say eww to you,” Y/N laughed. Bijou giggled as they continued down the aisle.

“Okay. So all we need is dip and soda. Chris has us covered with alcohol and so does Han,” Bijou informed.

“Good. I’ve got the snacks,” Y/N said.

“And I’ll just be the amazing birthday girl that I am,” Bijou proudly proclaimed. The two continued shopping for the items on their list before going to the register to pay. Y/N paid for everything and even used a couple coupons as well.

“Snacks are good to go. Let’s go!” Bijou exclaimed as soon as they walked outside the store.

Y/N laughed, “While you’re trying to go, be careful and don’t get hit. I’m not taking you to the E.R on your birthday.”

“How rude,” Bijou feigned shock.

“Rude? So you’d rather be in the hospital on your birthday?” Y/N inquired.

“No,” her best friend shook her head.

“Alright then,” Y/N replied.

Later that night, Y/N was decorating Bijou’s house and making sure everything looked nice for her friend's birthday with Amaya.

As for Chris, he was making jungle juice with Syd’s assistance. Syd insisted on assisting Chris, which is more like them managing the man.

“Now put the fruit in there, down under Ken,” Syd instructed.

“Down under Ken?” Amaya questioned.

“Don’t even question them and their nicknaming skills. If their partner doesn’t do it, then why should we,” Y/N answered.

“Felix has the patience of a saint,” Amaya remarked.

“Thank you very much,” Felix beamed, walking into the room. The sight of Felix seemed to light up the room for everyone.

“Do you see that, Y/N?” Amaya questioned.

“Yes I do,” Y/N played along.

“There’s a halo above Felix’s head,” Amaya jokingly stated. Felix laughed at their silliness.

“You two are always saying that I’m an angel. I’m not always sweet,” the other Aussie stated.

“Yes you are,” Y/N replied.

“Sweet as a peach pie,” Amaya added.

“And what about me?” Chris asked.

“More like the devil himself,” Y/N answered without hesitation. Chris made a face and everyone else laughed.

“If I didn’t say it before, but you look fine as hell,” Amaya turned to Y/N.

“Thank you,” Y/N smiled, “So do you.”

“Of course I do. I’m always fine,” Amaya grinned.

“And conceited,” Y/N mumbled under breath. The other woman smacked her arm hard while she laughed.

“When is Minho coming?” Felix asked.

“He’s gonna drop by for like a couple minutes, then he’s dipping,” she answered.

“Ohh,” Felix nodded, plucking a grape off the fruit tray.

“Changbin should be back soon with the cake,” Y/N said. Changbin walked into the kitchen with a cake in his arms. He placed it onto the counter.

“Here comes the macho man now,” Y/N smiled.

“Macho man? I like it,” the muscular man grinned.

“Of course you do,” Y/N giggled.

The kickback was a success. They sang happy birthday to Bijou, played a couple of games, played some music (they did not let a certain someone get the aux), Minho had dropped by at some point then dipped, and pretty much everyone was drinking, except for a couple.

However, Bijou had drunk so much that she was sleeping like a log in one of the pool chairs. Most of the party was gone, which left Chris, Bijou, and Y/N. Changbin had gone home and Han was knocked out on the living room couch.

“I’ll take her to her room. I’ll be back,” Chris informed Y/N.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m fine on my own,” she assured him.

“I know, but I still want to drink a little,” he said.

“Alright,” Y/N nodded. She was already at the halfway point of being tipsy and drunk. She was ready to become completely drunk since she didn’t have to work tomorrow.

“I’m back and I threw a blanket over Han. He looked really cold,” Chris informed her.

“Did you put his feet on the couch? The position he was in looked highly uncomfortable,” she said.

“Yes I did. He looks more comfortable now,” Chris chuckled, plopping down onto the couch.

“He can sleep anywhere,” she laughed, sipping on her drink.

“Yes he can,” Chris agreed. The two friends continued to talk and drink with each other on the rooftop as the minutes passed by. Y/N could feel herself becoming a little more drunk. She was definitely going to have a hangover, but she was relieved to not work tomorrow.

Chris was sitting up on the couch laughing as Y/N recounted a funny story about the time when she and Bijou had gone streaking on the football field of her alma mater.

“I can’t believe you two did that,” he laughed.

“We can’t be trusted when we get high. We have the most outrageous ideas,” Y/N said.

“Obviously,” he said, wiping away a tear as he laughed.

“That wasn’t even the worst of it. There was the time where Bijou had stolen my clothes when we were supposed to skinny dip in my neighborhood pool and I got caught by my next door neighbor,” Y/N laughed.

“She really did that?” Chris asked with a shocked expression on his face.

“Yeah. She didn’t tell you?” Y/N looked at him in confusion.

“She never did,” he answered.

“Well, the more you know,” Y/N jokingly stated.

Chris laughed again, “You’re an insane individual when you get together with my girlfriend.”

“Yeah I am, but it’s fun,” Y/N smiled softly.

“I bet,” he said.

“From what Felix has told me, you’re much worse than me,” she grinned.

“What did he tell you?” Chris asked.

“He didn’t say much, but I can say that you walking out of your room butt as naked when Han’s parents were visiting is more than funny. It’s hilarious,” she giggled.

“Oh my god,” Chris groaned, “Why would he tell you that?”

“Because he got a little tipsy and he started spilling secrets,” Y/N chortled.

“Any more secrets of mine that he spilled?” Chris asked.

“I’ll never tell,” she smirked, making a zipping motion.

“You’re so evil for this,” Chris chuckled.

“That’s my middle name,” she grinned. He rolled his eyes laughing and threw back the last of his own drink.

“Whatever happened to that guy you were dating?” Chris asked.

“What guy?” Y/N cocked an eyebrow.

“You know the one with the really fast car,” he answered.

“Ohhh. We broke up like three months ago.”

“What did he do?”

“I found out that he was actually renting that car and was sleeping on an air mattress.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Wooow.”

“Plus, he wasn’t a good lay either. He was like a quarter pump chump.”

Chris burst into laughter, “Oh fuck. That’s bad.”

“Yeah. I made Bijou swear to secrecy not to tell anyone, but I just spilled the beans myself.”

“I’ll keep it a secret too,” he patted her knee eliciting a small smile from her. His hand did not move from that spot at all and just stayed there.

“Thank you, Prince Valiant.”

“Besides, you deserve better than those bastards.”

“I do, but for now I’m happy being single. It’s much more fun considering how there are no strings attached.”

“I respect it.”

“You have no other choice but to do that.”

“True.”

“One thing is for sure though, they don’t know how to use their mouths,” she muttered, sighing. She felt his hand move up her thigh and her eyes looked down at his hand that was slowly sliding up her thigh.

“Umm…your hand is going a little too high,” she remarked.

“It is,” he said, moving a little bit closer. His other hand made contact with her other thigh. Both hands were moving up her thigh. Y/N did not know why, but his hands felt really good, especially his thumbs that were making circles.

“W-wait, Chris. What are you doing?” Y/N inquired.

“You said that they don’t know how to use their mouths. Maybe we should fix that,” he answered.

“This is wrong. So very wrong,” she said.

“It is, but you can keep a secret, right?” Chris questioned, hooking his fingers into the waistband of her g-string. He slid them down her legs, then pocket them. Y/N did not know what to say. As much as she wanted to voice that this was wrong, half of her wanted to see where this was going. The Aussie began planting butterfly kisses starting from her knee, trailing down to her inner thigh. His lips felt so soft against his skin and they felt so nice. She felt him begin to suck on her inner thigh close to her pussy while nibbling it as well.

“Chris,” she moaned softly. Chris repeated the same ministrations on her other leg and it was beginning to drive her insane. She wanted him to just go ahead and eat her out, but he was very intent on making her suffer. He continued to leave hickeys upon her inner thighs.

“Chris, please stop teasing me and just eat my pussy,” she breathlessly said.

A smirk had formed on the Aussie’s face at the sound of her begging, “Beg me.”

“What?” Y/N looked down at him. Her dark brown eyes met his eyes that were giving her such a heated gaze.

“Beg me,” he repeated.

“Beg? Quit playing. I don’t beg,” she firmly stated.

“Well, you need to start today. So beg me,” he told her.

“I’m not begging you for shi—mmm,” she moaned, unable to finish her own sentence. The Aussie had pressed his thumb against her clit, rubbing it slowly as he sucked on her inner thigh once more.

“I’m…not begging…y-you,” she mewled. His thumb’s tempo began to increase. She felt him begin to alternate between dragging his tongue on her thigh and kissing it. Each time he inched closer to her pussy, he would go back to where he started. He switched thighs and did the same thing as his thumb rubbed that little bundle of nerves.

“Chris, please…please eat my pussy. Please eat it,” she begged between her moans. She felt his lips leave her thigh and his thumb stopped rubbing her clit. She felt his thumbs touch her lower lips, which increased her anticipation for what was to come.

“Your exes are real idiots for not knowing how to please you,” he remarked, using his thumbs to spread apart her lips. Y/N sucked in a breath as soon as air touched her pussy.

“But enough about them. I’ll show you should be treated,” he said. He began lapping at her pussy and she couldn’t deny that his tongue felt good, especially since it felt so cool. She could barely contain the noises that were spilling from her lips. His thumb released her lips and he wrapped his arms around her thick thighs.

The sound of him slurping and sucking was so fucking lewd that she loved hearing it so much. Y/N felt him pull her closer to his mouth and it drove her even more insane.

“Your tongue feels so good,” she moaned, feeling her toes curl. One of her hands made its way to his black hair. Her grip became painful and she was too occupied with feeling good to even apologize for almost ripping out his hair.

“Oooh…Chris,” she moaned. Chris took her clit into his mouth and began suckling on it. His eyes flicked up to her face. He was burning a hole in her face the entire time as he watched her range of emotions.

Feeling as if his mouth wasn’t enough, he slid two fingers inside of her warm hole and began thrusting them in and out of her. She gripped his hair even hard and closed her legs around his head, but he spread them wide as he continued his ministrations.

“Chris,” she moaned. He moaned as he savored the taste of her delectable snatch that he feasted on like a starving man. The vibrations from his moans went straight to her clit and it was driving her crazy as her toes curled.

“Chris,” she cried out, eyes rolling back as she splashed his face. The curvy woman collapsed onto the couch, attempting to catch her breath. He lapped at her essence greedily not wanting any of it to go to waste.

When he finished, he pecked her little bundle of nerves then covered her panting mouth with his own, engaging in a fiery kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close to her. Y/N could taste herself on his tongue. His large hands slipped under her short dress and he began to grope her breasts. It didn’t feel so bad when he did it. It felt really good, unlike when her past partners attempted to do it.

His thumbs brushed against her nipple eliciting a small shudder from her. His index fingers began to flick them up and down. Y/N had to admit that the way he was teasing her nipples felt so good. So good that she moaned in his mouth.

Chris slipped his hands from under her dress and placed them at the front. He pushed down the front of the dress and let her breasts free. His lips trailed down to her chin, her neck, and finally the valley between her breasts. Each kiss left her skin feeling on fire.

He gave that little valley a languid kick, then kissed it softly. He alternated between licking and kissing her breast as he trailed towards it until he reached her nipple. He circled the tip of his tongue around her areola before taking the dark brown nub into his mouth. Y/N let out a small sigh as he sucked on her nipple, allowing his tongue to toy with it at the same time. Her hands went to his hair, but she was much more gentle than before with her grip.

Chris and Y/N’s met once again for the third time tonight. He held her gaze even as he nibbled on it with his teeth and even as he pulled it back, then let it go quickly. Y/N let out a small shriek and that seemed to amuse him. He relayed the same actions on her right breast before kissing her hard again.

He pulled away and unbuckled his pants, he lined himself up at her entrance and began to slowly push in. Y/N let out a soft gasp from him entering her. He leaned down over her, burying his head inside her neck, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Fuck. You feel good,” he moaned into her ear. She felt his tongue dip inside eliciting another shudder from her. Slowly, he began rocking in and out of her warm opening. He felt so good inside of her and he was already much better than exes and her little toys. He was light years ahead of them in terms of experience.

“Chris,” She moaned as one of her hands moved to the back of his head.

“How does it feel to have me inside you, Y/N?” Chris inquired. She couldn’t find it in her to formulate the right words to say to him. One of his hands gripped the underside of her face, forcing her to look at him.

“How does it feel?” Chris asked.

“It feels good, Chris,” she answered. His tongue caressed the roof of her mouth before kissing her once again.

He sat up fully and placed his hands on her hips. His pace began to pick up and his thrusts became powerful, rocking both her and the couch. Y/N’s back arched off the couch as her hands searched for something to grab. She settled for grabbing onto the armrest of the couch and gripped it tight.

Chris stared down at his cock as it glided in and out of her warm cavern. It was so mesmerizing to watch.

“You feel so good. My cock is going to melt inside of you,” Chris groaned. He loved the feeling of her pussy enveloping him in a warm embrace. It felt so good and he never wanted to pull out.

He pressed a thumb to her clit and began rubbing it as he pounded her. Y/N’s hand wrapped around his wrist, but his hand wasn’t budging at all.

He rubbed the little bundle of nerves vigorously, “Y/N, you take my cock so well. You’re such a good girl for letting me fuck you like this.”

All she could do was moan and hold onto the couch for dear life, “Chris.”

“Say my name, baby,” he moaned.

“Chris,” moaned, “I’m cumming. I’m cumming.”

“Go ahead. Cum on my dick, Y/N,” he told her. He didn’t have to tell her twice because she soon came on his girth. Her body collapsed onto the couch from exhaustion.

Though she had reached her own climax, he was far from done. He slid out of her and

He lined himself up and slid inside of her. He gripped her hips tightly.

“You might want to delete all the numbers of your little boy toys,” he remarked. Before she could even give a response to that comment, he began thrusting in and out of her quickly. The sound of his hips as he pistoned in and out of her penetrated the night air. Y/N found it hard to hold herself up and she collapsed over the armrest. Y/N felt herself beginning to drool as the man behind her fucked her like she owed something.

She felt so good that she couldn’t even begin to form a coherent sentence. She was literally being fucked stupid by him and it felt so good.

“You have the best pussy, Y/N,” he moaned. The sight of her round bottom jiggling with each thrust was such a sight to behold. It was like watching art itself. His hands moved down to her body and towards her cheeks. He gripped them hard enough to leave handprints on them and spread them apart.

“Chris!” Y/N cried out.

“Who owns this pussy?” Chris inquired.

“Chris!” She screamed.

“Good girl,” he breathlessly said, grinning. He released her ass and grabbed onto the back of her dress he pulled her up. Her back stayed flush against his chest as one of his hands slithered over to her clit. He began to rub that little nub as he pounded her.

“Chris…I’m cumming,” she moaned.

“Hold it, Y/N,” he whispered into her ear. He buried his head in her neck as he pumped in out of her. She attempted to hold back her orgasm as best as she could, but she ended up letting go, cumming on his cock.

“Chris!” She cried out.

“You’re lucky you’re sexy as fuck,” he groaned.

Soon, he came inside of her offsetting yet another orgasm for her. Chris continued to pump into her as he came inside of her. Y/N collapsed onto the couch completely, feeling so exhausted and worn out. Chris hunched over her body and turned her head to the side slightly as he craned down to kiss her passionately.

[minhosimthings]

Do I love Bang Chan and Jay with my entire heart and soul? Yes, yes I do.

Will I make Bang Chan and Jay my biases? No, no I won't.

But will my I continue to simp over them and cheat on my lovely first husbands Minho and Jake?

Yes, yes I indeed will.

[spohkh]

why is this man putting on a whole entire passion play with thousands of girlies right now.

[myulmahng]

LOL CHAN BEING SO DEFENSIVE WHEN A STAY SAID HE CHEATED

[hanadulsetaad]

"In the Warmth of Trust: A Promise Recalled" part 2

BANG CHAN X READER x stray kids

(part 1)

TYPE: ANGST, CHEATING, fluff

( i feel the ending is very cringe but this only came in my mind)

(also bang chan is an angel, this is just fictional)

When Chan broke up with you and you stopped eating or going out, your dream of mastering your studies turned to shit and you scored the lowest grade in your class. All you did was text Bang Chan and cry for him until he blocked you. When the results of your first semester came, you were broken. You couldn't believe that you let Chan's situation waste six months of your life and take away half of your dream college experience. You went to your grade professor and explained the whole situation. Luckily, your college had two batches a year: the December winter batch and the summer batch in June. Your professor asked you to reappear in the December batch, which was ideal. That winter batch changed your life. It's been seven years since Chan's situation. You just turned 30 and were actually preparing for the reunion of your undergraduate batch in Korea with Changbin. You and Changbin both became college professors: he was in the music department and you were a law professor.

Fast forward to the reunion. You met all of your friends, but then you heard Changbin yell, "OMG!" and you turned to see Bang Chan and Felix. You felt no emotions; you were just happy to see they were okay and doing well in life. Changbin dragged you to see your old group, and you instantly got deja vu when everyone in the group blocked you, including Changbin. When you saw Bang Chan and Felix, Felix looked at you in an apologetic way. He pushed Bang Chan and hugged you, saying, "I am sorry for everything. I didn't know you didn't dump Chan; it was Chan who dumped you." You just smiled at Lix and said, "What happened was in the past, let it go."

Before you could reply to Chan, Changbin, Hyunjin, and all of them started beating up Bang Chan and Felix. Both Chan and Felix left Korea and went back to Australia five months after you left Japan. They started their own company in Australia, and since they got busy, they lost touch with the whole group. All of you sat, and Felix asked you, "Y/N, you are the only one whose life is a mystery." All of them looked at you, and you said, "Really?"

Felix asked, "What happened after all that drama? I don't even know how you and the guys became friends again. I mean, when Changbin hyung called me to come for this meet up, he also mentioned how Bang Chan was the one who left you. NGL, I stopped talking to him for two months, but at the end, I had to talk since he was my partner." You smiled, "It's okay, Felix." Chan and Felix looked at you and asked, "So what were you up to in these years? You don't even have social media; you look different."

Y/N said, "Are you saying I got fat, Christopher Bang?" Changbin quickly said, "Hey, it's happy post-baby weight gain," and Bang Chan and Felix were shocked. Chan's disappointment was showing on his face with regrets. Felix got more excited and asked you about your life. You replied, "Well, when my college ended, I had to come back to Korea. After coming back, I was a guest lecturer and preparing for the assistant professor exams. While preparing, I suddenly bumped into Changbin, and he gave me the dirtiest look ever. I ignored him, and he made a comment, 'Look, cheater is back.' I was angry; I turned and hit him with my book and yelled at him, 'Me, cheater? Really, Changbin? Your friend was the one who broke up with me and at the same week got together with Sana, and I am a cheater?' That's when Changbin, Hyunjin, and I.N. all came to me and apologized. I never wanted to be friends with them again because they believed Chan, but everyone deserves a second chance, right?"

Felix said, "Hey, hey, you didn't tell us about your baby and your partner?" Y/N laughed, "Well, I met my 'husband' (the word 'husband' made Bang Chan's eyes more regretful) in Japan itself. I was roaming in the market street and spotted a familiar face. We both looked at each other, and you know, it was only six months after the breakup from Chan, and I got news that I had to repeat a semester. I was emotional, so I just looked at him and started crying." Felix interrupted, "Wait, wait, wait, so you knew him?" Y/N replied, "Yep, he was from our batch. He just stood there and comforted me."

Y/N: Well, after the meeting, I asked him not to talk to the gang about this since I wanted to talk to everyone directly. And since I was starting a new college, I didn't want people from the past to be back again. My husband and I talked to each other via FaceTime every day. He came to Japan for my graduation and asked me on a date.

Felix: Aww.

Y/N: But I said no. Haha, I actually didn't want to be in a relationship. I had zero trust. So, he waited for my answer for one year, and one day when I saw him taking care of me, I confessed to him. Since then, we are stronger than ever. We got married two years ago, and we just had a baby girl. My husband was the reason I improved my grades in college, and I believed in love again. He was my strength and pillar during my worst times. I thought I would never believe in happiness again.

Bang Chan was shattered. He couldn't even look at you in the eye because he realized you lost your friends and had to repeat a semester because of him, just because he wanted to fool around with Sana for a few weeks.

Felix asked Y/N, "Hey, show us a picture of your baby." Y/N showed him the picture, and he said, "OMG, she is so cute! She looks like a bunny." Lee Know yelled from the back, "Of course, she is cute; she is my daughter." Everyone looked back at Lee Know, who was holding your daughter, who was wearing a bear suit. Felix ran to Lee Know, and Lee Know thought felix was giving him a hug , but Felix just snatched your daughter from him and started taking selfies with her. While everyone was laughing, Chan went to Lee Know and said, "Thanks for taking care of Y/N." Lee Know said with a cold look, "You don't have to thank me." He made his way to the gang who were literally fighting each other to hold your and Lee Know's daughter. Bang Chan just stood there, watching you, Lee Know, and your daughter being the perfect family with your friends, and he found himself alone.

[rens-peekaboo-nipples]

I said i was ready. I LIED. This is my first come back as a stay. I need more time 🫠

After work for sure. Yeah.. 🥲

[icosmiic]

stray kids members when you moan their name in your sleep

❰･❉･❱ genre: smut (ot8 x viewer)

❰･❉･❱ word count (quesstimated):

❰･❉･❱ warning(s): fem!reader, somnophilia, tittie sucking, praising, a little breast worship, mentions of female masturbation, allusions to meandom!minho, one spank, allusions to reader being in love with changbin’s muscles, hyunjin painting reader whilst she sleeps, munch!hyunjin, cunnilingus, allusions to sex in jisungs (no actual smut), breast fondling, meanie seungmin, fingering, male masturbation, jeongin shamelessly perving on sleeping reader, petnames: baby, honey, dirty slut ect. let me know if i’ve missed any!

❰･❉･❱ minors do not interact! feauted below the cut is 18+ only content, if you are uncomfortable with whats below stop reading.

❰･❉･❱ this is not an accurate representation of the members of stray kids, and shouldn’t be viewed as such.

❪  ❥ .   bang chan,  방찬  ❫ || idol!bf!chan

the gentle, distant ticking of the clock in the living room resonated throughout the house, bang chan sat up in his bed, laptop perched on his lap whilst his headphones played the latest track he had spent hours upon hours perfecting. the lamp sat upon the bedside table flickered slightly as chan focused, he however paid no mind to it. beside him you laid, fast asleep, all worries gone and replaced with gentle snoring and rustling of bedsheets whenever you moved.

a quiet sound brought chan’s attenion away from his laptop screen, removing the headphone from one ear the man kept a listening ear out for the noise again, nothing followed, so instead he placed the headphone back on his head and focused on his work again. a few minutes had passed before the noise dragged his attention away from his laptop screen.

as chan removed his headphones from his head entirely and began to save his editted work, deciding it was time to ‘hit the hay’ (as he’d put it), the reoccurring noise sounded in the room, it was a soft noise coming from… you?

chan’s eyes glanced towards you where you laid on your back, eyes still shut. shaking his head, he pushes the thought away as just you rolling over, you had just previously been laying on your side.

instead of silence, another, slightly louder moan escapes your lips, paired with a furrowing of your brows. chan’s eyes trailed your body, your perky nipples hard behind the thin layer of his shirt (which had now become your sleep shirt).

the boy contemplated for a moment, before another softer but more desperate whine-like moan escaped your lips, legs pressed together beneath the duvet. slowly he lifts your shirt, making direct eye contact with your round, perky breasts.

he glances up at your sleeping face, as he attaches his lips around your nipple, sucking at it gently. his eyes flutter shut, rolling back as he licked and nipped at the bud.

your eyes flutter open as you awake, groggy but undeniably horny. it takes you a moment to fully process what was going on, before your eyes drift down to your boyfriend, sucking at your pretty boobs and subtly rutting himself into the mattress.

“fuck i love your pretty titties.”

❪  ❥ .   lee minho, 이민호  ❫ || husband!minho

minho had come home late from work, his body felt heavy as the day had worn him down. seeing all the lights were off, he knew you were sound asleep in your bed. he kicked off his shoes and walked through the hallway towards your shared bedroom but before his hand could grab the doorknob to push the door open, a muffled noise grabs his attention.

he stares at his outstretched hand, centimetres away from grabbing ahold of the doorknob. admittedly his mind went to all the worst options, he knew you’d never cheat on him, so immediately he assumed you had been touching yourself without his permission.

his hand opens the door, expecting to see your fingers deep inside your pretty pussy, as you rubbed at your clit but instead he found you laying on his side of the bed, your face smothered in his pillow as your thighs clenched together in your sleep.

another moan escapes you, which makes minho chuckle to himself, you were adorable. walking over to you, he sat in the open area of the bed, hand coming down on your ass in a harsh slap, just because he could.

you jolt away, a noise of discontent leaving you as you shoot up, eyes focusing right on the man sat in front of you. “having a good dream, baby?” he asks, shoving you down again and climbing over you, hand slapping at your thighs for you to spread them.

“you better have enjoyed that dream, cause i’m not going easy on this pussy tonight.”

❪  ❥ .   seo changbin,  서창빈  ❫ || gymrat!bf!changbin

coming home from the gym had become like clockwork to changbin, opening the door to the smell of freshly baked cookies and/or his lunch was his favourite part about his days recently. today was like any other day, the smell of freshly baked goods wafting into his face as he placed his duffle bag down.

only difference was that you weren’t at the door, waiting patiently to greet him. it was never something he asked you to do, it just came naturally. changbin sighs, slightly disappointed but he assumes you must’ve been called into work.

his assumptions are proven incorrect as he walks into the living room seeing you knocked out on the couch, sleeping soundly. he smiles, he loved how pretty his baby looked in her sleep.

changbin sits down on the couch, admiring you but his moment of clarity is taken from him and replaced by shock. a moan had slipped past your lips and changbin, thinking you were hurt, gently shakes you awake.

“baby, you okay?” he asks, eyeing you down as you wake up, dazed, confused and horny. seeing your bf in his gym attire, arm flexing as he holds onto you for comfort you can’t help but moan again, which makes the man realise.

“fuck… come here, honey.”

❪  ❥ .   hwang hyunjin,  황현진  ❫ || artist!hyunjin

you and hyunjin had previously discussed that he was allowed to paint you nude whilst sleeping, it was an odd thing but knowing you were a deep sleeper and an equally as still as a statue when you slept.

you laid with an air over you face, leg lifted up as you slept, mouth slightly parted, hyunjin’s brush strokes gently against the canvas, his eyes darting across the canvas and towards you.

a small moan escapes you and breaks hyunjin’s train of thought, his artistic abilities dropping in an instant and instead replaced with a tent in his sweats. he stares, pulling out his phone and taking the best picture he could use instead before he walks over and kneels at the foot of the couch.

he moans as he makes eye contact with your glistening core, wetness shining in the light, he looks up at your face, smiling. it had also been discussed that he could touch and fuck you when you slept.

his mouth attaches to your bud, sucking at your clit before he licks a stripe up your folds, savouring the taste of you before he begins fucking you with his skilled tongue.

“s-so fucking good, fuck.”

❪  ❥ .   han jisung,  한지성  ❫ || bestfriendsbrother!jisung

being shoved into the middle seat beside your longtime crush is bad enough, but falling asleep and having your best friend take countless photos of you, is worse. you slept soundly beside jisung whilst julie laughed at you.

a surfboard laid between you and julie, before she had noticed you asleep she was trying to grab the packet of food from jisung and got distracted and now she was listening to her music and not paying attention, their parents talked quietly as loud music played.

you shift closer to jisung, head falling into his shoulder in your sleep, he stiffens, did his twin sisters best friend, not to mention his crush, just move onto his shoulder, his eyes widen even more when a soft moan sounds in his ear.

in a panic he shakes you awake, harder than ever in his grey shorts, you lift your head off his shoulder, blushing/feeling hot but trying to act oblivious. the boy gulps as he leans closer.

“meet me in my room when we get to the cottage, please?”

❪  ❥ .   lee felix,  이필릭스  ❫ || brothersbestfriend!felix

felix and chan had always been closer, despite the boy being a year older than you and three years younger than chan. the three of you had grown up together, seeing all of each others weird phases. your mother had asked felix to get you for dinner whilst she, chan and your father cooked dinner on the barbecue.

felix walked down the hallway, quietly observing the hallway he had been down hundreds of time, barging into the room, felix smiles at your delicate sleeping figure.

just as he reaches for you to gently wake you up, a moan falls from your lips, better yet a moan of his name. he stiffens up, both in movement and down in his pants.

he reaches down and shakes you up, and when you see felix leaning over you, eyes glossed over in lust you shy away. he turns you back to him, smiling at you. “you want me, baby?” he whispers to you.

you nod, feeling his hands begin to gently massage your tits, your head falls back. immediately felix feels himself stiffen up in his pants more, you were gorgeous.

“we needs be quick sweetheart, dinners ready soon.”

❪  ❥ .   kim seungmin,  김승민  ❫ || sugardaddy!husband!seungmin

seungmin walks into the bedroom, holding a couple bags of designer accessories he had bought for you, he smiles seeing you asleep on the bed, the overpriced silk pyjamas lifting up slightly, showing him your pretty ass.

he places the bags down and loosens his tie, but he’s immediately distracted when a loud moan fills his ears, he looks back at you surprised, you had always been vocal, but this level of volume when sleeping shocked him, you rarely even snored.

despite his initial shock, seungmin smirks and walks closer, tsk-ing as he notices a wet spot in your expensive pyjamas. he moves the thin material to the side, seeing your bare cunt right there for him.

he gently runs his fingers through your folds, before he pushes three into you, the pain of the stretch jolting you awake, his fingers move at a dangerous fast pace as he fucks his fingers deep into your pussy.

“suck a dirty slut, moaning for me even in her sleep.”

❪  ❥ .   yang jeongin,  양정인  ❫ || bestfriend!jeongin

you and jeongin had been best friends ever since the first day of year 7 when you moved to the highschool, and ever since those two awkward teenagers had blossomed into the equally as awkward adults you were now.

you laid sound asleep on jeongin’s bed as he played his video games, focusing on the movements of his controller and his friends yelling. he hadn’t even noticed the moans in the background until his mate pointed it out.

“what?” he asks, confused and his friend answers. “is someone being fucked, why is there moaning dude? gross.” his friend jokes, and jeongin immediately disconnects from the call, your moans filling his ears.

jeongin looks back at you, watching as you rut against his pillow, moans slipping past your lips in your sleep. he knew you we’re bestfriends and he should just leave and forget about it but when you moaned his nickname he couldn’t help pulling his pants down and fucking into his fist wishing it was your pussy.

he watches as your hips begin to get erratic before you both cum at the same time, his cum shooting up onto his chest whilst you soil his pillowcase.

“fuck, this is so wrong, fuck you’re too hot though.”

© icosmiic || do not steal, copy, plagiarise or post my work anywhere.

[skysdelusions]

Needy girl.

Summary: You wanted to make Chris jealous but you didn’t think it out enough.

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem!reader

Genre : little bit of angst , smut , fluff towards the end

word count : 1.4k

Warnings : cheating , name calling , rough handling, hair pulling , oral sex (m receiving) , spanking , rough sex , unprotected sex (don’t ), creampie , overstimulation.

Notes : I just be having lots of ideas for stray kids , they shall be coming soon though. I’m trying to get as much of these ideas out but this is my first time writing smut, I hope I did good, I could use some pointers as well. I was listening to railway and pornstar by nessa Barrett while writing this. The edit of Chris I saw was so good it made big mama throb😼.

(This is not proof read , forgive me🧍🏽‍♀️)

It was one of those days where you felt needy and when you were needy. You’d become a brat.

You had this crazy idea to get at Chris because he was still at the studio , working overtime when he was supposed to be home hours ago. You know how Chris got when you’d go out late without telling him or at least texting him and letting him know you were going out.

Your girls had asked if you wanted to go out a few hours earlier but you had the thought to decline but you were looking for some excitement right now so you hit your girls up and asked where’d y’all be going. After texting back and forth in the group chat , you started to get ready. You were feeling a low cut black dress with some small black heels. As you looked in the mirror , you could just imagine what Chris was going to do to you. All you wanted was to give him a taste of his own medicine.

The drive to the place your friends said you were meeting up at was a bougie club. (clubs just seem like a fitting setting for this rn) As you got out your car ,you noticed some messages from Chris.

Mr.Bang : Just got home, where are you ? 8:00pm

Mr.Bang : Hello? 8:30pm

Mr.Bang : Y/N , if your trying to be funny, it’s not funny. 8:50pm

When you noticed the time , it was 10 o’clock

“No point in backing out now .” Y/N thought

So you turned your phone off and went inside the club.

You noticed your girls at a table in the middle of the club so you walked to them.

“Hey bitches”

As you all started settling down , you decided to get the first round of shots because you were planning to have fun before Chris got to you but you knew when he came , you’d enjoy every moment of it.

After several rounds of shots , y’all started to disappear to the dance floor. You knew Chris was coming at any second because you never turned your location off. You didn’t want to tick him off bad , turning off your location would’ve sent him over the edge.

You were currently grinding on a random man , just thinking about Chris. You knew you were in for it. You were basically cheating on him. You loved Chris so much that you’d never cheat on him or hurt him. You just wanted to have fun and show him what it felt like when he promised he would be home more often but he broke the promise and that hurt.

You were just thinking , not noticing Chris walking into the club. You felt the urge to check your surroundings so you looked up and saw Chris basically exploding, what happened next was a blur. You were dancing on someone now being dragged out of the club by your very angry boyfriend.

“Chris” you called

He just flat out ignored you

When you got to his car , he basically threw you in the passenger seat. You guess you would come get your car tomorrow. If you could walk.

The car ride was silent. The silence made you uncomfortable but you were turned on. As Chris was pulling up to your shared apartment, you tried speaking to him but he just parked the car , got out , and dragged you out the car all the way up to the apartment.

When you guys were inside , you turned around while Chris had his back to you.

“Chris-“

“Shut the fuck up.” Chris said

“You didn’t return my messages because you just wanted to go out and whore yourself out with your friends.

“You want to be a slut , I’ll show you how sluts get treated.” Chris deadpanned

You couldn’t process what happened next but Chris grabbed you by your hair and dragged you to your shared bedroom. He had thrown you to the floor and made his way to the foot of the bed. You were rubbing your thighs together , you were so turned on. Chris watched you get off on his anger towards you. You tried to collect yourself but Chris yet again grabbed your hair and started to unbuckled his pants.

“You're getting off on this. Such a fucking slut”

You started to help Chris with his pants but he smacked your hands away.

“Don’t fucking touch me slut. Your only job is to suck my cock like a good slut. That’s all your fucking good for.” Chris said

Once he got his pants down, he took no time to just gather your hair up into a makeshift ponytail and shove your head down on his cock. You started to bob your head up and down but Chris being so big , it was getting hard for you to breathe.

slob was running all down your chin, eyes watering as you made eye contact with Chris.

Chris threw his head back and started to thrust his towards your face. You couldn’t breathe while Chris was fucking your throat but you were enjoying it so much, the feeling of the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat , the sounds of his grunts and moans , you knew your voice was gonna be fucked in the morning (literally).

“Your gonna swallow all my cum amd if I so if see a little drop fall out your mouth , you won’t cum tonight.” Chris grunted out.

Chris was getting close and before you knew it , he was cumming down your throat. You made sure you didn’t spill any of it like his good girl. You loved the taste of him, salty.

“Strip.”

That’s all you had to hear and your clothes were off in a heartbeat.

Chris now has you bent over the edge of the bed. You felt his hand rub your ass then he stopped.

!THWAP!

The way you screamed as you felt Chris spank you. Chris had gotten his leather belt and he had the means to punish you right now before he fucked the lights out of you.

“You're gonna count everytime I hit you , if you mess up then we’ll started over, got it slut ?”

“Yes sir”

!THWAP!

“TWO���

!THWAP!

“T-THREE”

Chris continued until he had spanked you ten times. You were a sobbing mess right now , Chris dropped his belt and started to massage your sore and raw ass cheeks.

“Have you learned your lesson baby?”

“y-yes daddy , I’m sorry , I just missed you so much and I just wanted to feel how it felt when you broke your promise.” You cried

Chris' heart broke, you did all this because of him.

“I’m sorry baby, how bout daddy make it up to you hmm? You want daddy to fuck you to sleep ?”

“Yes daddy, I need it .”

Chris started to stroke his hard cock. He didn’t even want to prep you, he wanted to give his baby what she needed. Chris cock started to poke your entrance , you started to whine as you felt him bully his big cock in your little hole.

“Fuck daddy , too much”

“Shh baby , I got you” Chris groaned

It took a few minutes for Chris to bottom out but once he did , you were already fucked out , so full of his cock. Chris has started to set a brutal pace , knocking the air out of you.

You were clutching the sheets for dear life as Chris was brutally abusing your hole. You felt so overstimulated

“Fuck, too much daddy”

“Baby you can take it , I know you can”

Chris started to thrust faster , he was determined on stuffing you full of his come. Chris knowing you were close , you started to squeeze him in. You felt chris’ hand grab the back of your neck and push you further in the bed.

“I’m cumming”

“You gonna let daddy cum inside you huh baby? Let daddy make you a pretty mommy?”

“Yes daddy.” You moaned

With that you came hard, Chris wasn’t far behind you. He started ramming his hips into yours. Your hole wanted his cum so you started sucking him in and he came. You felt so full, you and Chris’ juices running down your legs.

Chris pulled out of you and you collapsed on the bed. As you started to fall asleep, Chris woke you up with a wet washcloth , he was cleaning you up. Once he was finished , he made sure you peed then he laid both of you down.

Chris kissed you goodnight and promised he’d do better.

[ivyues]

Scars of the Past: Stray Kids' reactions to finding out their S/O was cheated on in the past

Bang Chan

While watching a drama together, the plot unfolds about a cheating scandal. Casually, you comment, "Ugh, I know how that feels." Chris looks over, concern immediately filling his eyes.

You smile bitterly, huffing out a small breath. "I haven’t told you I was cheated on, did I?" Chris’ face freezes for a moment before his expression softens with empathy.

"What do you mean?" he asks, his voice gentle, a hint of worry in his tone. When you explain, his jaw tightens, and he pulls you closer.

"I’m so sorry you went through that. You never have to doubt us, okay? I’ll make sure you never feel that way again." For the rest of the evening, he keeps you close, reassuring you with soft kisses and sweet words.

Lee Know

During a round of "Never Have I Ever" with friends, the topic of infidelity comes up. You casually admit you’ve been cheated on before. Lee Know stiffens but says nothing in front of the whole group.

Later, when you’re alone in the car, he locks eyes with you, his expression suddenly serious.

"I can’t change what happened to you, but I can promise I’ll never hurt you like that. You're too precious to me."

He gently takes your hand, interlacing his fingers with yours, holding them tightly. It's a simple yet meaningful gesture, an unspoken promise that this moment is different.

Changbin

In the middle of a conversation about insecurities, you mention that your last partner cheated on you, and it’s the reason you sometimes struggle with trust. "They did what?" His voice rises slightly, but he catches himself, softening as he sees your discomfort.

He pulls you into a tight hug without hesitation, but there's a flicker of discomfort in the gesture, as if he's unsure whether it's the right move. He pulls back slightly, looking into your eyes.

"I'm so sorry. No one deserves that, least of all you," he says, his voice full of sincerity.

After a moment of silence, he hesitates before asking, "Do you... do you still talk to this person?" His tone is careful, as if he’s afraid of the answer but knows he needs to ask.

Hyunjin

Watching a romance movie together, the protagonist discovers her partner cheating. You murmur, "Yeah, that’s all way too familiar." Hyunjin immediately pauses the movie, turning to you.

"You were cheated on?" he asks, his eyes big and full of sadness. His tone carries a mixture of shock and indignation, as if the idea is almost impossible for him to grasp.

When you nod, he pulls you into a tight hug. "I can’t believe someone could betray you like that. I hope you know you’re worth so much more. I’ll remind you every day if I have to."

Han

During a late-night chat, you mention offhandedly, "Yeah, my ex cheated on me once."

Han freezes, his eyes widening in disbelief. "You? You got cheated on?" he blurts, his tone incredulous. "How is that possible? You're amazing."

You couldn’t help but huff out an unexpected laugh by the seriousness in his voice. He shakes his head, a mix of frustration and sadness on his face. "They were an idiot," he declares, taking your hand. "I’ll never understand how anyone could treat you like that – but I’ll make sure you never feel that way again."

His smile returns, softer this time, as he presses a kiss to your knuckles. "Promise."

Felix

During a cozy night in, a TV show triggers a memory, and you casually mention, "Yeah, my ex did that to me too." Felix freezes mid-bite of his snack, his eyes wide with shock.

"They what?" His voice is a mix of disbelief and sorrow. When you avoid his gaze, focusing on the TV instead, he leans forward slightly, trying to catch your eyes. “Hey,” he says softly, his tone coaxing but serious. When you finally meet his gaze, his expression is earnest, his eyes searching yours.

He takes your hands in his, his thumb tracing soothing circles. "You deserve so much better. If you ever feel unsure or insecure, just tell me, okay? I want to be the one to heal that part of you."

Seungmin

When Seungmin casually mentions a friend he’s been talking to, you freeze, suddenly feeling uneasy. He notices the shift in your mood. "Is something wrong?" he asks, his voice soft but concerned.

You hesitate, then admit, "I know you're not like them, but… I’ve been cheated on before, and it’s hard to trust anyone after that."

Seungmin’s eyes widen in surprise. "I had no idea," he says quietly.

You look down, your voice shaky. "I want to trust you, Seungmin. But the damage is done. I don’t know how to stop feeling this way."

He gently takes your hand across the table, his touch warm. "I’m so sorry you went through that. I want you to know I’m not like them. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust."

I.N

As a song about cheating plays on the radio, you murmur, "This song really hit hard when I found out about my ex."

I.N’s face shifts from surprise to quiet concern. "Wait, you went through what?" he asks softly, his usual bright demeanor replaced with a rare seriousness.

You nod, explaining briefly about your cheating ex, and he listens intently. "That’s awful. You deserve so much better than what they gave you."

When the song ends, he flashes you a small, reassuring smile. "Let’s make some new memories with better songs, okay? You’re safe with me." 

masterlist

[kflixnet]

Check out our member Vaish's drabble!

Tolerate It

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem reader Genre: angst, established relationship Summary: You know your love for your husband should be celebrated, but instead, it’s tolerated. Warnings: Unhappy marriage, mentions of cheating, swearing, toxic spouse, gaslighting, emotional abuse Word Count: 919  

“Where were you last night?” 

Chan sets down his fork with a heavy thud and puts his head in his hands, visibly frustrated. “Not this again.”

You hold back tears as you wordlessly rise, placing your plate in the sink and leaving the kitchen while ignoring the incessant calls of your husband. You already know the answer to your own question, but you ask him anyway, maybe because you still love him and can’t pretend that every single time this happens, you’re not dying on the inside. But maybe you’re also asking him because it’s your duty. It’s your duty to be a faithful wife to your husband, to look after him and love him. And you do all of it. 

Every single day, like clockwork, you wake up at five to cook him a hearty breakfast and prepare him a lunch packed with love. You have memorized how he likes his coffee at different intervals in the day. When he comes home from work, you take his coat and briefcase before seating him at your dinner table and welcoming him with a delicious home cooked meal. You give him shoulder massages while he watches TV and doesn’t even thank you. Your children are never a challenge to their father, only a joy, because you are willing to bear the burden of the more difficult parts of your children’s upbringing. You gave up your passion to commit to a lifetime of serving him. Instead, you work a tedious desk job that’s soulless, but stable, so you can come home early. For him. You can and will drop everything and go to him if he merely whispered your name. Under your watchful eye, the house is always sparkling clean and inviting at all times, just for your husband. 

But you’ve never been good to yourself. You have never spared a single thought for your own wellbeing and sanity. You can’t even fathom holding your heart together while it breaks, because you’re too busy slaving away for the man who shatters it, over and over again.

As you enter your bedroom, you can’t even slam the door shut and lock yourself inside, because you know your husband will want to come and rest soon. The children are fast asleep in their own rooms, and you’ve dined with your husband. You have fulfilled your responsibilities for the day, and now, you shed the flawless facade as you desire.

Collapsing onto the bed, your body racks with fast, choked sobs, and you know you are completely and utterly alone. For a long time, you’ve been unfeeling. Chan stabs at you, again and again, and yet, you never responded, numbly taking it all. You knew what he did after hours, all of those times that he called home and breathlessly explained that he would be working late. Or those times he stumbled into the house, limbs disoriented and hair mussed, mumbling about a harmless trip to the bar with his boys. And then there was when he waltzed in with a lipstick stain on his collar, the collar that you had neatly pressed in the morning. Some lady bumped into me and accidentally smudged her lipstick on me, you’re just paranoid.

You weren’t stupid. You just didn’t want to feel. Of course, you could not refrain from crying yourself to sleep every night, but nevertheless, when the sun hit your blinds, you pretended you were okay. Last night was different. 

For the first time, he hadn’t bothered even attempting to cover up mistakes, because he wasn’t stupid either. He was aware you knew about his infidelity, and it looked like he didn’t value you enough anymore to even come up with a lie. He had staggered into the kitchen and asked what you had made him for dinner, instead of pushing out his usual pathetic excuses. 

Thinking of him feels like there is a metaphorical balloon in your chest, swelling rapidly but never reaching the apex, the breaking point, because even now, you can never truly fall apart. Falling apart would mean running to your husband and grabbing his arms, screaming at him for a reason why you aren’t good enough anymore. Falling apart would be taking your children, the ones you cared for, and leaving him behind. Falling apart would be falling out of love for him. But you’re still scared, clinging to the hopes of a happy marriage and being truly cherished by the man you are killing yourself for.

It’s why when Chan walks into the darkened room, shutting the door behind him quietly and laying next to you in the bed, you stay quiet instead of having the courage you need to confront him. 

“I’m trying, baby. I’m trying to be better,” Chan whispers into your ear, his arm thrown over your waist and pulling you close. 

You say nothing, just giving him a brief nod while he turns his back to you once and falls asleep. You stay awake, though, and let the silent tears stream down your face. This isn’t the first time he’s promised to change, nor the first time you’re risking your sanity forgiving him. 

Your love is never ending, wishing and pleading for the man you know he could be once again if he tried. You stay running after the man you fell for— someone who was funny, attentive, and sweet. Someone who loved you too, once upon a time. You know your love should be celebrated, but all he does is tolerate it.

NETWORK: @kflixnet TAGLIST: @hamburgers101 @chansburgah @hee0soo @ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98 @ohish @anyamaris @chizumiyoshi @lilydaisyyy @jetblackbelle @chillseo A/N: I have a huge prompt list that I'm starting to tick through (please don't hesitate to send me requests- please check guidelines on my navi post- if you got any, I will do them)! I'm going to be posting a lot, now that I'm traveling on vacation 😼😼