#Axe is best boy

[kyodelika]

Oh, right, most importantly: Happy Birthday, my angel. Love you and miss you forever, Your sister.

[kindagastly]

my other main, uhhh (checks notes) sam trick r treat

[iphijaania]

that post about ‘this is why odysseus’s wife waited for him while agamemnon’s killed him with an axe’ is so funny to me because. girl. euripides iphigenia at aulis. line 1363. odysseus was very much also the reason agamemnon’s wife killed him with an axe

[first-ex-wife]

Burn Notice 5x04: No Good Deed

[coachbeards]

can’t explain it, but there’s just something soooo about ted and beard both excelling at similar sports

[sweet-cuddlebug]

High Guardian Spice Incorrect Quotes!

:]

Hiding from a horde that Rosemary accidentally angered.

Sage: Do you think they saw us?

Rose, poking her head out from behind the wall:

Horde: >:(

Rose:

Rose: Yes.

_

Snapdragon: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Amaryllis: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person…

Snapdragon: You don’t have to wear it—

Amaryllis: No. I’m gonna wear it, forever. Back off.

_

Rose: Your ass is grass, and I'm gonna mow it.

Snap, desperate: Leave me alone!

_

Sage, sheepishly: I’m sorry we skipped school.

Anise: You skipped school?

Sage: … No

Rose: We were solving a murder!

Aloe: Solving a murder is no reason to skip school…

Rose, sarcastically: Okay, Department of Education.

_

Amaryllis, so done with this bs: You were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the deck!

Parnelle: I did! I named him Lord Moseby. He likes Coco Puffs!

_

Thyme: We'll have to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?

Aamaryllis /s: Probably Parnelle and Slime Boy.

Snapdragon /jk: That's a good start.

SB: Huh well that makes the things I was gonna cut irrelevant.

_

After Amaryllis had to listen to Snap's romantic whines that are definitely not about Sage for the 10th Time.

Amaryllis: Are you sure this isn't because you secretly had a sexy dream about that nerd?

Snap: What?! No! …Recently? No!

_

Parsley: Water balloon fight!

Sage: What?

Parsley: It's how we usually settle issues in Lyngarth.

SB: Well, that and freestyle rap battles.

_

Sage, yelling at Rose and Parsley threatening a man who made her uncomfortable: Girls stop! This is-. Girls! This is crazy. He’s not worth it!

Rose: You’re right, no one will miss him.

Parsley, cracks knuckles: >:(

Sage, exasperated but flattered: No, Rose! That’s not what I meant!

_

New introduction to Slime Boy, one of the three main saviors of the show.

SB: You've come to the right people.

Sage: Uh, we didn't come to you at all.

Rose: Yeah, you just walked in here without knocking…

SB: There wasn't time for you guys to figure out you needed me. Fortunately, the walls are thin.

_

Sage, secretly messaging Snap about their definitely not secret date: See you soon baboon. Wait, spice it up. See you soon, bitch. Too spicy, too spicy. Oh god I sent it.

_

SB: If you need me, I’ll be down here on the floor. Dying.

_

Amaryllis: FUCK

_

Amaryllis and Slime Boy discovering the same deadly secret about the guardians.

Amaryllis, naturally violent: You mean the Triumvirate? Then let's go kil- get them! Let's go get them >:)

SB, naturally pacifist: >:/

[jankillbride]

There is something to be said about the fact that half the time, marginalized characters end up being the "normal" ones in fanon when that is so clearly not the case.

[theflyingsealion]

Tressa. Time.

So a couple months ago I decided to challenge myself to draw all the octopath 1 travelers in the job outfits I gave them, and then halfway through the sketches I got the brilliant idea to try practicing a new coloring style on them 😅 Starting with Tressa because I hadn't drawn her face before and also I miss her beautiful little wolf hat more with every passing day. Hopefully this will be part of a series!

[niceaxephotos]

Did you create your OC with a plan to ship them with a specific character or another OC? Or was their relationship something that evolved all by itself?

!!! Depends on the character :D

Nice Axe is my main, and was created long before I knew what RP was, her ships grew very naturally from people I met along the way, and the two that stuck are the people I became the closest too outside of game. So she became close friends with, and later slowburn, maybe some day, partner, to Marius.

Lenore was always intended to end up with Ketsu, she was created for the express purpose of joining a community that my (now) boyfriend is very involved in, and piggy backing off of a character concept he'd been working on, but she grew a life of her own as she picked up hobbies and a personality, so even though she was built for her relationship, she developed as a character from there.

And Naia was built for Gpose, but, as soon as the first shred of personality emerged, I knew she needed more lore xD she's just so much fun, so what was intended to be a short interaction may deepen, only time will tell.

[arolesbianism]

I need to make a new pmd story right now or I'll explode

[thejagermeister]

i haven't been able to stop thinking about this headcanon since i first saw this post so here are my thoughts:

boy jerry is max's sort-of-estranged uncle. his legal last name is jägerman but he uses a pen name for reporting and no one knows or really cares about his legal name.

max's dad and jerry are similar in some ways but their differences are so jarring that they both distanced from each other as they grew older. max doesn't know he even has an uncle.

max's parents wanted a kid, but his mom wasn't able to have one. so when girl jeri got pregnant, boy jerry reached out to his brother and let them adopt baby max. all this was, of course, kept a secret because neither side of this interaction wanted word getting out about max's true parentage.

the timelines where lumber axe is real are timelines where max "doesn't exist" because for whatever reason, the jerries didn't put him up for adoption, and instead raised him in the witchwood by themselves.

but in the timelines where max is max, lumber axe is just a rumor. no one knows when the rumors started or even who originally came up with the story. it's like an echo across timelines, keeping the story even though the monster in them is just a normal teenage boy.

and then... what if in one of those timelines, max goes to abstinence camp?

his dad wants him out of the house for the summer or something, and either doesn't care or doesn't remember that his brother runs the place.

max walks up and the jerries are staring at him. girl jeri is on the verge of tears, seeing her baby for the first time since he was born. max says "what are you crying about, lady?" and she bursts into sobs.

the longer he stays at camp, the more strange he feels. like the witchwood is calling to him. slowly, oh so slowly, he starts to change. first it's just his personality— steph makes a sex joke and he blurts out that she's going to hell. he plays it off as teasing but internally, wonders if grace is rubbing off on him.

but then he starts getting more monstrous. he grows really tall and at first he's happy that he's getting another big growth spurt, but after he wakes up one day and his head hits the cabin ceiling he starts to get a little concerned. his hands seem bigger, hairier, but maybe he's just seeing things.

maybe he gives in and runs away into the witchwood to become the literal monster he should've been. maybe camp ends before he can fully transform. who knows?

just realised how well the lyrics of axe man could also relate to max, especially the “watching nerds run for their lives” & “you may have brought a gun but it’s hatchetfield” & referring to him as a demon/devil & “he’s got you sweating through the night” (grace’s dream)

i’m not saying it means something but i’m not NOT saying that

anyway unrelated what if i formed an insane headcanon that lumber axe was somehow an alt timeline version of max & max was the son of the jerries. listen. all i’m saying is i could absolutely believe that boy jerry would call his son a little cuck. and it would sure explain where max got the whole dirty girl thing from wouldn’t it

[nightingale-prompts]

Lay Me to Rest- DCxDP Prompt

Warning: Blood and gore

There has been a series of murders across the country. Each death was varied and self-inflicted. At first, they all seemed like suicide but each had a strange range of symptoms before death.

Sudden paranoia, incoherent mumbling, screaming or yelling, going in and out of their homes sporadically, random fixations, and finally self-harm.

The victims were teachers, parents, businessmen, truckers, and even a crime novelist. All unrelated and in different states.

Each victim didn't seem to have a connection until an investigation discovered that each one had been an active serial killer. The body counts ranged from as little as 5 to as much as 23. The killer was named the Serial Serial Killer which wasn't creative but it was catchy. Some called them the Angel of Vengeance but most thought it was cringy and overdramatic. Many people didn't want them to be caught but others hotly debated letting a killer dispense justice when their crusade could easily turn into them killing people for innocuous things.

The police were still questioning whether this killer even existed. One thing was clear, there was a trail and it led straight to Gotham. A goldmine for them. Naturally, Batman had gotten a hold on the case and began an investigation.

The biggest question was how the killer found their victims and how they knew that they were killers.

The answer was obvious. They didn't need to figure it out. They just needed to wait. Why just in the effort to investigate when a serial killer tries to convince you to leave with them? So bars are the obvious place. But that's shaky at best since there is a period of torment that takes place that allows the victims to return home. The killer doesn't care if the victims could call the police, perhaps because they know their victim won't.

Bruce started to build a profile. He saw a pattern here. Each of the victims had a preference for their victims as well. They targeted young people, mainly boys. Odds are the Serial Serial Killer matched that description or age range. So bars weren't the hunting ground. So parks were more likely to go unnoticed and boys tended to hang out there longer after dark.

The killer was more than likely a victim himself so he may have a few scars but probably not noticeable enough that his would-be assailants would be turned off. There is no ignoring the predatory nature of the victims. Each killed children for gratification in some form. It's not that the boy is attractive but he probably has traits that the victims found attractive in children. So babyfaced, short, native, and polite.

There was much else Bruce could get. There was nothing concrete and he still didn't understand the method that was used. So far this was guesswork.

It wasn't until a few weeks later while he tracking another killer that he found his answer.

Dr.Kinder a Biologist by day and a killer who experiments on his victims at night had picked up a promising new lab rat a week ago. He had intended to slowly dissect the boy. He had gotten so used to the screams he stopped using anesthetics besides he wanted to see how the fear response caused the organs to shift.

To his surprise the boy didn't fight, in fact he seemed to jump to the table and say he didn't need restraints. Disturbing. But he was restrained anyways.

As the doctor cut him open the boy didn't react, only humming to himself as he watched the doctor.

"What are you hoping to find?" He asked. "I'm getting bored and this bearly hurts."

The boy annoyingly never stopped talking and never missed a chance to ruin the moment. There were never any screams or cries but incessant talking.

Dr.Kinder found the boy disturbing so he simply took an axe and chopped the boy into pieces. Not once did he make a sound. The doctor thought it was over but the next day the boy was back. He sat on the autopsy table kicking his feet in nothing but his bare skin.

"What the hell are you?" The doctor gasped in horror.

"I'm bored. Play with me again." The boy purred.

Bile crawled up his throat as the doctor restained this...thing again.

This time the boy spoke differently.

"You cut me up last time. Did you do that to the last boy. After you...you know." A sick grin spread across his cheeks.

The doctor cut open his neck this time and let him bleed out.

Everyday he came back and every day the doctor killed him until the time between his death got shorter and shorter. The days began to blur and he had no idea how long he had been doing this. But that thing kept talkimg to him.

Dr.Kinder stared down at his desk at the papers trying to think of anything but-

"I wonder what people would think about what you've done. You're a disgusting and depraved man doctor. Look at what you've done to me." The sing-song voice of that demon called out.

He could feel those blood-soaked arms wrapped around his neck.

He flinch as he pushed the thing away.

"Oh, are you going to beat me or stab me this time? Ooo, or are you going to put me through the woodchipper again?" The demon asked as the doctor wrapped his hands around his throat.

He just kept squeezing until the boy went limp. It never ends. The blood never goes away. It covered every surface of the room. Dripping, conjugating, and spreading into every corner. Whenever he turned his head he could see body parts spread across the room in the pools of blood he could they the faces of the others that he had killed. Each face wretched in agony.

"You hold on better than the others. I've been eaten, torched, and disemboweled before but after coming back a few times they usually end it after a few words. But every time they don't feel guilt. They just don't want to face consequences." The boy said. "Do you even remember my name? The one I told you when you picked me up on the side of the road or was I just another body to use and discard? I used the name of your first victim. I hoped you'd notice."

The doctor knew he couldn't kill the boy but he could end himself. He had tried it once but just like the kid he came back without a scratch.

"Not yet. This is your life now. Come on, let's taste death together. Again and again and again and again and-" he repeated over and over.

This was hell. This was his hell.

But it came to an end eventually. Dr.Kinder put an end to himself in a gruesome display.

Batman had only caught the tail end as he faced a young boy standing an a pool of blood.

****

"Yeah, that thing is like a worse version of a revenant. Doesn't really have a name yet to describe it. It's undead for sure. You kill it and it just comes back." Constantine said "Why did you bring it here?"

After a long bath and some new clothes, the kid looked normal as played on a phone given to him.

"Look, I didn't know what else to do." Bruce explained.

"You leave it alone!" Constantine said exasperated "Look they are harmless to anything they don't bear a grudge towards. Think of it as a force of nature." Constantine said.

"I just want to know how to stop him." Bruce said.

"Well you can't kill it but you can't bring him back entirely. You can just soothe it 'till it stops targeting its victims. It must have died pretty gruesomely to go to these lengths. You need to find where it died and lay it to rest. Properly." Constantine sighed knowing that appeasing this soul would be more than just difficult.

"Danny, come on. Let's go." Bruced said putting a hand on the boy's head as Danny stood up to leave.

"Okay. Bye!" Danny waved to Constantine.

[nightfall-kachiniko]

જ⁀➴ CALLING HIM BY HIS HERO NAME

pro hero!hawks x reader drabble ☁️ ོ

a/n: i just thought this would be cute, hawks getting all upset- I mean- Keigo. 🙄

“You know for someone who’s always out and about, you always seem to make time for me.” You softly smile upon hearing your front door open and then close.

“How’d you know it was me?” He asked, taking off his coat with a tussle.

You paused your tv show before turning around to look at him.

“Can smell the kfc on you from a mile away” you teased as he scoffed in offense. “Woah, I wear the best cologne.”

“You mean axe body spray?” You added, his lips escaping a laugh. “Not to much on me birdie.” His eyes followed yours as you got up from your spot on the couch to be in his embrace, a smile peering through his lips as he sweetly pecked you.

“Mmm..” you hummed in satisfaction. “How was work sweet boy?”

“The same as always.” He replied, holding you in his arms tiredly. You noticed how he tried to hold himself up. You knew how exhausted he was from working so often, and how bad he wanted to collapse into your arms. Still, he always kept that last bit of energy for you. It didn’t matter how much of it he had left, he’d always be strong for you.

“You need to get sleep baby.” You said, pushing the hair out of his face, “nah im fine, I wanna spend some time with you.”

“You can do that in the bedroom.” You added as a smirk grew on his face.

“Not in that way weirdo!” You gently punch his arm making him laugh. “Oh but I was hoping~”

“and I hope you go to bed, finally~” you cut him off.

He looked into your eyes for a moment before saying “your right love, guess I should start listening to you from now on.”

“Took you how long to realize that?” He hummed as he gently placed his head down to rest on you. “Not that long~”

You sighed out a slight smile, your hand playing with his hair.

“Hey.” You said, making him slightly come up. “Yeah?”

“I love you, hawks.”

His head popped up, a look of disgust on his face.

"Excuse me??" He said, pouting.

You can’t help but start laughing at him. He looks like you just insulted endeavor to his face.

“UHM who is this other man in your life??!!” He says dramatically.

“Ughh, I love you Keigo~”

“Mm..” he settles back down into your comfort, “much better.”

[lesamis]

If you're up for it could you explain what is making the Germany government stuff so funny? I can find news articles about it (a coalition is dissolving? There's been tension for a while?) but they're all fairly serious. Thx!

ohhh, sure thing! i'll do my best!

i'll say upfront: this is a pretty serious thing to happen. our chancellor fired our minister of finance, Lindner, which definitively breaks up the governing coalition. germany will likely have snap elections at a moment in which far-right parties are polling extremely well. if news coverage about it seems like people are Worried, that's because, well, they are.

however. the reason it's funny is because our minister of finance was fired. ministers aren't really... ever fired. like, it's not a done thing. i'll fully admit i didn't even know it was an option until yesterday. and our minister of finance wasn't just anyone, he was one of the most mocked and hated figures in politics to germans who vote anywhere left of center.

the coalition that governed until yesterday was made up of the green party, the social democrats, and the neoliberal party (FDP). the FDP is infamous (and i mean, my parents already raised me to hate them for that) for playing kingmaker in coalition governments: they never get all that many votes, but they get just enough that whoever they agree to form a government with will probably succeed. they then tend to force extreme concessions from their coalition partners, because hey, if we walk off, you can't govern at all! so you better play along!

for the past three years, this behaviour has been extremely frustrating for germans who voted for greens or social democrats, because policy from their faction was constantly being blocked by the FDP and often by Lindner personally. the FDP received 11,5% of votes in 2021, but to many of us, it felt as if they were the only party who really had any say in the governing coalition. it made the green and social democratic coalition partners look spineless and passive.

and now, i invite you to imagine how on the day of the US election results, the day the whole world rolled their eyes at the sheer fucking stupidity and pointlessness of it all, at NINE IN THE EVENING, just as germans are getting ready to settle in to bed to dream of nightmare global politics -

the news suddenly breaks that our notoriously invisible chancellor just decided to fire Lindner for that exact behaviour. this chancellor comes out and says, on camera, to the entire sleepy nation, that acting the way Lindner did - blocking necessary policies, refusing to approve budgets unless his party's interests were met - was childish, selfish, irresponsible, and unfit for government, so, whoops, he had to go. shame. coalition over, i guess.

so, politically, that was a long-needed but never-expected moment of triumph for those of us who think the FDP is a clown show made up of human TESLA shares, and it came at a hysterically funny moment.

on a personal level, i can barely explain how uniquely hateable Lindner has always been. he's what would happen if a stock index graph came to life. he hates poor people with a relish; he mocks welfare recipients and would ax minimum wages in a second. he's everyone's business major roommate who shows up in boat shoes fresh off a yacht to discuss NFTs with you. throughout the entire time that he's used his rich boy policy blackmail strategy, he's been smug about it, and he was never taken to task for it, and millions of germans have been longing to throw rotten fruit in his face since 2017. and now we finally get to do it. via memes. on the day of trump's election win.

so that's why it's funny.

[n0vazsq]

Underneath the (ice) sheets | MV1 x Reader

pairing . . . max verstappen x figure!skater!reader

summary . . . When Max suddenly starts appearing in Switzerland between races, fans get suspicious and decide to start researching. What they didn't expect to find was that his girlfriend was an olympic medalist figure skater

request . . . idk

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none! just one usage of the words 'fuck' and 'bitches'

alexavia yaps . . . FINALLY i started to write this after 829 centuries!! my first tumblr smau so i hope you guys like it <33 for the users its gonna be their names w no space bc im lazy also ignore the name i didnt know what to name it! it's a bit short but i'm on a writing grind so yes we can ignore that

maxverstappen1

liked by schecoperez, redbullracing, charlesleclerc and 709k others

maxverstappen1 taking a much needed break from racing

click to view all comments

username this is so pretty oh my god

victoriaverstappen so kind of you to invite me!!

maxverstappen1 yeah yeah

victoriaverstappen whatever you say, lover boy

username lover boy?? my delusions tell me hes visiting someone

charlesleclerc come visit us soon lover boy

maxverstappen no??

charlesleclerc enjoy your visit to switzerland then

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, alextrustova and 210k others

yourusername would much rather skate in the lake but i got fined last time

click to view all comments

username mother is posting again!!

username HOW DO I BECOME Y/N'S FRIEND?? URGENT

yourbff buy her food

alextrustova tell her coach that she didn't eat snacks

username she's so pretty omg i saw her in the olympics

username i'm so delusional to think that i can be with her

username max in the likes??

username as a f1 and y/n girly thats my dream relationship

username it's not fair why is she so lucky i need her luck

maxverstappen1

liked by yourusername, yourbff, schecoperez and 672k others

maxverstappen1 i tried my best

click to view all comments

username WHO. IS. THAT?!??!??!?!?!??!

schecoperez tell her i said hi 🥰

maxverstappen1 sure

username WHY is y/n here?

username max is in switzerland.....y/n lives in switzerland.....she's an olympic skater......

username wait because y/n has the same jacket and skates as the girl in the pic??

dannyric lover boy is risking it

maxverstappen1 like you didn't give me a 40 minute lecture telling me what to post

dannyric so?? ive got everyone guessing who ms figure skater is

maxverstappen1 DANIEL

dannyric sorry? it's not like i said her full name or something

maxverstappen1 daniel i know you're about to type her full name i swear to god i won't let you live to see tomorrow

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, dannyric and 341k others

yourusername when he's fast on and off the rink and his name rhymes with axe>>>>

click to view all comments

username girly literally hard launched

username yall STOP playing with usss

username i don't need any more pics i know who it is

username the innuendo?? y/n isnt as innocent as we thought

username cleanse yalls minds hes an f1 driver

username why is everyone such a dirty thinker :sob:

username i came here from max's insta and isn't this the same bow the girl he posted was wearing??

username WAIT I SEE IT???

username YALL ITS HER I SAW THEM TOGETHER IN ZURICH

username NO WAY WE JUST CRACKED THE MYSTERY

f1waggossip

liked by f1gossip, motorsportwags, pierregasly and 192k others

f1waggossip fans spot y/n l/n and max verstappen together in a romantical date in zurich! its reported that l/n and verstappen have been dating for over a year, and that max's swiss trips were to visit his lover.

click to view all comments

username MY GOATS ARE TOGETHER OH MY GOD

username its legit a dream come true

username they werent even trying to hide it oml

username WHEN WILL THEY CONFIRM

username max's type is himself because she's the verstappen of figure skating

username LITERALLY

username realest thing i saw today

maxverstappen1

liked by dannyric, yourusername, schecoperez and 720k others

maxverstappen1 guess the secret's out. i love you, schatje tagged: yourusername

click to view all comments

username IUYEGDFVGBSHJIUEYGDHJIO

yourusername my no.1 skating partner <33

maxverstappen1 and my no.1 supporter ❤

dannyric photo dump coming very soon yeah?

yourusername make sure to put good pics of me

maxverstappen1 it's impossible to put bad pics of you because you don't have any

dannyric DISGUISTING

username my parents

username they're my parasocial relationship

username do they need a third??? a pet?? i can bark, meow, tweet, anything really

username can they adopt me omg

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, yourbff, dannyric and 827k others

yourusername: i'd jump in a lake and get fined if it meant i spend eternity with you tagged: maxverstappen1

click to view all comments

username MY WIFE GONE TO A MAN?!?!?!?

username girl really was mad about that lake fine

maxverstappen1 and i'll say 'fuck' and touch rear wings a million times just to spend a moment with you

yourusername you drive me insane

dannyric you were already insane

username two stubborn bitches in one relationship couldn't be more romantical

username "THAT SHOULD BE ME"

username the way this could be about max or y/n lmao

landonorris does this mean you'll finally let me skate with you and max?

daniel3.jpg

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername, yourbff and 382k others

daniel3.jpg finally got to post photos ive been waiting months to post. these filters don't do your romance justice. here's to my favourite couple, cheers to many more! tagged: maxverstappen1, yourusername

click to view all comments

username when will it be me

yourbff thank you from saving me from the third wheeling daniel, really appreciate it!

daniel3.jpg no problem! really enjoyed taking those photos (i didn't)

yourusername you're our favourite third wheel daniel <3 we love you!!

maxverstappen1 we love you a lot danny

daniel3.jpg aww, my heart. so when can i stay at y/n's cabin??

yourusername you're not max

maxverstappen1 🥰

yourusername <33

username they're so in love it's disguisting

username i need this

username love, such a lovely thing

[riality-check]

Steve, realistically, shouldn’t even be at this show. He doesn’t care about the band, he didn’t want to make the drive, and he had to bring Anna along because he couldn’t find a babysitter.

But he was going to suck it up to go with Dustin, who immediately bought tickets to see his favorite band when they went on sale. Who called Steve this morning to inform him, somehow both solemnly and frantically, that he had the worst food poisoning known to man, and, that until he stopped puking and shitting at the same time, he could not leave the bathroom.

Steve very much did not need to know that.

With Dustin went the rest of the Babysitters’ Club, all of them having eaten the same shady pizza and suffering the consequences. The only exception was Mike, lactose intolerant but cursed to take care of his idiot friends.

He texted Steve to ask if he had extra bleach. Steve dropped it outside the house because no way in hell was he entering that building.

Dustin assured him, amidst too much detail and shockingly disgusting background noise, that both tickets shouldn’t go to waste, and with no one able to babysit Anna, Steve should take advantage of both.

So, here he is. Standing in the first level - Dustin couldn’t get floor tickets, thank God - of a show for a metal band he has no intention of ever listening to and holding his four-year-old daughter, who has bright pink ear defenders looped around her neck in preparation for when it gets really, really loud.

“When are they starting?” she asks for the fourth time in as many minutes, with a sigh too big for her little body.

“In a few minutes,” Steve says, keeping an eye on the stage, where he watches the crew set up. Mad respect for them hustling so hard. He could never.

The seats are slowly filling up, and Steve feels a little sad for the first opener, a little sad that they don’t have a full house for their set.

A group of four guys takes the seats right next to Steve, with a pale, long-haired, big-eyed guy right next to him. He’s got tattoos on his arms and rings on all his fingers and a silver bar through his upper ear.

And he’s arguing emphatically with his friend next to him.

“I’m telling you, American Psycho is more recognizable!” he says, hands flying. Steve discreetly makes sure he and Anna aren’t within striking distance. “Not to mention cheaper!”

“A prop chainsaw,” his friend - a short white guy with shorter but equally wild hair - says, “can’t possibly be that hard to find by tomorrow.”

“We already have the axe!”

“I’m with Eddie,” the big white guy at the end of their group says. “I’m a sucker for American Psycho.”

“Okay, but I’m the guy who has to use the props,” the fourth friend, a Black guy with short braids who looks annoyed at this conversation, like they’ve had it before. “And I think I’d have more fun with the chainsaw.”

Eddie - the guy with long hair and heavy jewelry and hands with a mind of their own - rolls his eyes. It’s a full body movement, one that has him spinning to face Steve. When he does, his face cycles through a myriad of emotions too fast for Steve to really track.

“Hi, pretty boy,” he says. His eyes then dart down to Anna, who stares at him with her head cocked to the side. “Pretty dad. Dad. Pretty. Hi.”

“Eddie,” the short guy cautions.

“Yeah, sorry, anyway, can you be a tiebreaker for us?”

“Sure,” Steve says. Anna squirms, so he lets her out of his lap to stand, holding her hand all the while. “What do you need?”

“American Psycho or Texas Chainsaw Massacre?” the big guy asks.

“You gotta give him context.”

“No, I don’t, Jeff.”

The guy who said he’d be using the props - whatever that means - rolls his eyes and stops fighting.

“What’s American Psycho?” Anna asks, choosing the best time to pay attention to the conversation, like always.

“A movie you’re too young to see,” Steve says. “And the one I’m picking out of those two.”

“Oh, thank you,” Eddie says, using a tone that better fits Steve saving his drowning dog or something. He then turns to the rest of his friends and says, “I fucking told you!”

Anna gasps. “You’re not s’posed to say that!”

Jeff smothers a laugh behind his hands, while the other three guys stare at Anna, half confused, half admiring.

Eddie clears his throat, looking significantly abashed. "Sorry, Miss-"

"Anna," she says.

"Anna," Eddie finishes. Then he turns to Steve. "And you are?"

"Steve. No Mister for me though. I might be a dad, but I'm not that old."

"You are old, Daddy," Anna says.

Steve frowns down at her, where she stands at his feet. She's smiling, mischievous like she always is when she says something along these lines. "I'm not that old."

"Yeah you are! You're like, you're like, like, fifteen."

Jeff gives up on hiding his laughter.

"I'm older than fifteen," Steve says gently, trying not to laugh.

Anna’s jaw drops. “You are?”

“Thank God for that,” Eddie mutters, then shuts his jaw with an audible click.

Steve tried to come up with an answer for that, but someone comes on a mic and starts playing the drums, so he moves the defenders over Anna’s ears and pays attention to the show instead.

It's... fun, he guesses. Fun if he were into it, maybe. The first opener has a lot of energy, even if the music isn't melodic enough for Steve's taste. He finds himself tapping along to the steady beat, moving slightly in his seat to the music.

It's nice background noise. He'd put this on while he grades papers. It's steady enough to fill his head but doesn't have a whole lot of lyrics he could get distracted by and sing along to.

Eddie and his friends, meanwhile, are having the time of their lives. The short guy - Gareth, Steve thinks his name is - mimes the drum part of each song with startling accuracy. Archie jumps up and down, Jeff absolutely screams along, and Eddie-

Anna stares up at Eddie, eyes wide and jaw slacked as she watches him bang his head to the music.

Steve almost snaps a picture of it, this little moment, before the second song ends and Eddie snaps out of his zone.

He shakes the hair out of his face, then looks down at Anna, who's still staring at him. "What?"

She cocks her head to the side in a mirror of his. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"The," she pauses, then starts shaking her head really hard, side to side. Steve puts a hand on her shoulder before she slams into the chairs in the row in front of them.

Eddie laughs. "The headbanging?"

"Yeah," Anna says, nodding.

"It's a way I move to the music," Eddie explains.

"Like dancing?"

"Sort of," Eddie says. "It's easier. I look stupid when I dance."

"You're not s'posed to say that," Anna tells him solemnly. "Right, Daddy?"

Steve meets Eddie's eyes. Even with the lights down, they're big and pretty and reflective, and Steve is going to kick himself so hard if he chickens out before he can get his number.

"Right," he says, still looking at Eddie. "We're not supposed to call ourselves stupid."

"Sorry," Eddie whispers.

"Don't be."

Anna tugs on Steve's hand, then Eddie's. "Teach me."

"Anna," Steve cautions.

"Can you please teach me?" she corrects.

Eddie glances down at Anna, then back up at Steve. "If it's-"

"Go ahead," Steve says because Eddie has more than passed the vibe check at this point.

Eddie crouches down as a new song starts up, and while Steve can't hear what he's telling her, he sees her smile, bright as day.

By the last song of the first opener, Anna is headbanging along with Eddie, off-beat in the say little kids always are but more than making up for it with effort.

Steve gives into the impulse to take a picture.

When the first opener finishes, Steve picks Anna back up and takes her ear defenders off.

"Woah," she says. "Can I keep them-"

"Nope," Steve says. "They stay on when the music is on. You heard it fine, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but you-"

"I have my earplugs in," Steve says, pointing at them.

"So do I," Eddie says, and when he moves his hair back, sure enough, there are black earplugs nestled in his ears.

"You don't seem like the kind of guy to wear earplugs," Steve says.

"You don't seem like the kind of guy to come of a metal show," Eddie counters.

Anna climbs out of Steve's arms and onto his back, where she loops her arms around his shoulders and just hangs, like she does sometimes when she gets bored.

Weirdo kid, Steve thinks affectionately.

"That's because I'm not," Steve says. "I was supposed to come with a friend, but he got sick."

"Yikes," Eddie says. "You coming tomorrow, too?"

"I am," Steve says. "Are you?"

Eddie raises his eyebrows, like he didn't expect Steve to ask that. "Yeah, we'll be here. Not in these seats, though."

The lights go back down before Steve can ask what he means by that. He reaches behind him, scoops Anna back down on the ground, and puts her ear defenders on by the time the second opener strikes a scary-sounding opening chord.

Anna doesn't look scared at all. From the moment the music starts, she looks up at Eddie, and when he starts headbanging, she does, too.

Yup. Steve has effectively created a monster.

He contemplates, if Dustin is fine by tomorrow, skipping out on the show and giving his ticket to Anna, but that means not seeing Eddie again.

He really wants to see Eddie again, even if he won’t have the same seats.

Whatever that means.

Steve decides not to focus on that. He decides instead to focus on the moment. He listens to the music. He lets Anna take his hand and dance with it. He bops his head along with hers, but not too hard because he can’t risk aggravating his whiplash.

He enjoys the show, even if it’s not his cup of tea. It’s easy to enjoy the show, with Eddie next to him. It’s easy to enjoy his wild hair and pretty jewelry and big eyes and contagious enthusiasm.

It’s easy to see the way Eddie looks at him.

It’s also very easy, after the venue clears and Anna falls asleep in the car on the way home, to forget to ask for his number.

Shit.

(Part 2 is alive!!)