#August Booth smut

[shelbgrey]

Hi, I saw you were taking requests for once upon a time, can a I request this prompt “You saw the good in me when no one else did...so thank you” with August and maybe some smut? Thank you!

Hidden secrets(August Booth)

Paring: August Booth x Hopper!Reader, Archie Hopper x Daughter!Reader

Summary: august has been writing all day and his girlfriend wants his attention prompt: 1.9) “You saw the good in me when no one else did...so thank you”

AU! Where Gepetto finds out Archie was involved with his parents death and hasn't forgiven Archie since. August and y/n have to keep their relationship a secret because of their feuding fathers.

Warrings: SMUT! Teasing, Dry humping, slight hand job, female reader, unprotected sex, slight dirty talk?

MasterList

“dad, I'm going out” I said, peaking my head into his office. Pongo sat up from his bed next to mu dad's desk and greeted me with a nudge of his black nose and his waging tail. My dad looked up from the file he was reading and smiled.

“where are you going if you don't mind me asking?” my father asked kindly. That was the problem, he was too kind and it killed me to lie to him. The secret keeping wasn't exactly his fault, he hated the on going feud just as much as August and I did.

It was bad enough my dad still felt guilty about Gepetto's parents and when the secret was revealed he tunred on my father then making me and August Storybrooke's very own Romeo and Juliette, which sucks beacuse I hate Shakespeare. I'm sure my father would be supportive, because he's nothing less than loyal and kind, but me and August both agreed to keep our love a secret.

“going out with Ruby” I quickly lied which ment I'd have to shoot her a text, asking her to cover my ass. My dad nodded and waved good bye. “okay, love you Bug”

“love you too” I said and quickly left to meet up with August.

We met up at the toll bridge like we always did. “hey, beautiful” August smirked and handed me the spare helmet beofer claiming on the back of his motorcycle. The helmet I wore covered my face completely, it was a safety thing and he never let me get on the back of his bike without it. But if I was on the back of it no one in Storybrooke knew who I was and trust me the people of Storybrooke wanted to know who August was riding around town with.

No one knew about us except Ruby and Emma. Ruby knew because she was my best friend and I'd never lie to her and emma just found out by mistake, she had walked in on us one time because August forgot to lock the door to his place.

It didn't matter that there was nothing to do in town, it was nice just to hold on to him as we road around Storybrooke on his bike. With the helmets on we were just a couple without any worries, and we didn't have to deal with our his father.

We made a few laps around town then went threw the woods once before getting some food at Granny's. We could go in there and no one would question it, we got our usual spot which was in the very back and ate before heading back to his place to relax.

--------(3rd pov)--------

Later that afternoon August and y/n retired to his apartment to relax and so August could do some writing. The clacking of a typewriter filled August's ears as he concentrated on the story he was working on. His girlfriend of two years sighed as she layed on the bed they shared. It felt cold without him and the lazy day turned into something that dragged. Y/n tossed around in bed a bit before rolling on her stomach and watched August typing away on the typewriter he refused to replace with a computer. “Auggie?”

without looking up he spoke in a tone that said u. Wasn't fully listening. “Yes, Sweetheart?”

Y/n silently rolled out of bed and walked to where his desk stood on the other side of their bedroom. She stood behind the chair he was setting in and ran her hand through his wavy hair then kissed the side of his forehead. “Are you almost done?”

He looks up and sees her behind him. He smiles. "Not even halfway, darling.”

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, hugging him from behind as she placed gentle kisses on his scruffy jaw. “But I'm so bored without you”

a grin spreads across his face. “Oh, you're bored?”

Without thinking, he scooted his chair away from the desk to wrap his arms around her and pulled her down to his lap with a smirk. She got comfortable in his lap, facing him with her legs dangling off the sides of the chair as I straddled his lap. August scooted his chair back to its original place and got back to work, resting his chin on her shoulder so he could continue writing. 

his fingers move over the keys as he continues writing, now feeling the warmth of her body against his “I'll let you sit on my lap if you behave”

Y/n shifted in his lap, making sure to brush up against the sensitive area between his legs. She rested her head against his chest, pretending she didn't know what she just did. “I'll behave…”

August bites his lip as he hears her innocent sounding voice as his cheeks slowly turn red. "You better behave…” he leaned forward and continued to type. 

She shifted slightly again, purposely grinding against him. August couldn't concentrate on his typing, the warmth between his legs growing increasingly uncomfortable and yet, he couldn't help but enjoy the feeling. His chest rose and fell in tandem with her breaths as he tried to ignore the distraction. 

Her soft moans filled his ears, feeling him starting to grow harder. The roughness of his jeans provided a small amount of friction against her short-shorts covered core. Placing his hands on her hips to keep her still, he leaned in close, letting out a low growl "You're going to be in trouble if you keep that up…”

“Sorry... Just trying to get 'comfortable'” she teased, hiding her face in his neck.

August's heart races as her soft breath fanned across his neck. He tries to ignore the growing bulge in his pants, focusing on the story he's telling. His fingers started to fly over the keys, the snapping of the keys getting louder and more aggressive as he got lost in the rhythm of their dance.

August grew harder against her, his erection twitched against where she needed him most, the only thing keeping them apart was her shorts and his jeans. The arousal between them grew as she gripped his t-shirt in her fists, her arousal soaking through her shorts onto his jeans. 

August let out a groan as he felt the wetness seeping through his jeans. His fingers falter slightly on the keyboard, but he grits his teeth stubbornly and keeps typing. I smirked, knowing he wasn't gonna give up easily. She kissed his jaw instead of grinded against him. 

August shivers at the touch of her lips on his skin. His fingers continue to fly over the keyboard, but his mind is no longer focused on the story he's telling. All he can think about is her body and how much he wants her ��you're making this extremely difficult for me…”

“Just trying to give you... Emotional support” she teased as she nipped down his jaw and continued to grinded against him again. The wet patch on his jeans grew bigger. Her breathing quickens as her core ached for him. August groans again as he feels her plush lips on his skin, her body pressing against his. He tries to maintain control, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. He can feel the bulge in his pants growing harder by the second. “you'll be giving me something else if you aren't careful…”

Y/n nipped at the skin under his ear then whispered, “like what?” she grinded against the sensitive area between his legs. 

August growls low in his throat, feeling the wetness against the fly of his jeans. He can't help but arch his back into the sensation, stopping his writing momentarily to hold her hips in place as he arched up into hers. She moaned as he arched his back, the zipper of his jeans pressed against her clothed clit. 

August bites his lip, feeling the need to give in to the desire building within him. He turned to face her, a hungry look in his eyes. She moaned, got desperate as she moved her hips faster. 

August's hands find her waist, pulling her closer to him as he crushes his lips against hers for a brushing, hungry kiss. His tongue sweeps into her mouth, tasting her fully as he pushes his rigid length against the fabric of her shorts.

She moaned against his lips, their tongues fought for the dominance he easily won. She tugged at his hair as their hips grinded against each other, making her grow wetter. As their mouths collided, a wave of heat rushed through him. He deepened the kiss, teasing her tongue with his own. She moaned against his lips, tugging at his hair. August groaned at the sensation as his hand snaked under her shirt, tracing a light pattern over your stomach. "You're making this awfully hard,”

“I could tell” she joked, pulling away from the kiss to look down at his erection pressing against his jeans. 

August chuckled softly, his eyes never leaving hers as he reached down to unbuckle his belt and unzipped his jeans. "I'm going to need some help with that," he murmured, taking hold of her hand and guiding it towards his hard length. "Touch me.”

Y/n's heart pounded as she stared into his blue eyes and slowly started to stroke him. His eyes fluttered shut as he tilted back. He let out a low groan as she stroked him, a look of pure lust and desire etched on his features. His breathing grew shallow and his body tensed, his hips jerking slightly in response to her touch.

She pressed her lips against his, her tongue danced with his. The feeling of her lips on his, the taste of her mouth mixed with his own was intoxicating. He groaned against her lips as she continued to stroke him, his hips bucking against her hand in an unconscious response to the pleasure she waw giving him "Fuck,”

Y/n teasingly rubbed her thumb over his leaking tip. His eyes grew wide as and his breath hitched as she teasingly rubbed his leaking tip. He couldn't contain a deep moan, his body shuddering with the effort to keep still "Jesus, baby," he gasped, his voice rough and husky. 

She slammed her lips against his for a rough kiss then pulled away. “W-we should go to the bed" y/n whispered against his ear as she continued to jerk him off. He was still in his chair and she was in his lap still. 

He nodded, gripping her tighter as he stood up. He kicked the chair aside and carried her to the bed, his heart pounding with excitement and anticipation "God, you're so fucking beautiful,”

He dropped her onto the bed, making her slightly bounce as he climbed on top of her. His pupils were blown with lust, leaving very little blue showing in his eyes. Their eyes locked as she teasingly reached for his cock and stroked him again as he placed his hands on the bed, holding himself over her. 

August groaned deeply, his hips jerking involuntarily in response to her touch. His eyes never left hers, the intensity of their gaze mirroring the fire burning within him. "Fuck, baby... I need you so bad,"

Her thighs clinched together at the noises he was making, rubbing her thighs together for some sorta friction and started stroking him faster. 

August gritted his teeth, his fingers digging into the sheets as she stroked him faster. He lowered his head, kissing her hungrily, his tongue sweeping into her mouth once more. The sight of her thighs rubbing together was driving him wild. She matched his hungry pace, kissing him and tangling her tongue with his. The grip she held on his cock tightened only slightly as she continued to stroke his leaking tip with her thumb making, His hips bucked violently. His muscles tense as he fought to maintain control. He groaned, his breath hot and ragged against her skin. "Fuck, baby... I can't wait much longer.”

She stroked him faster as she buried her face into his neck, nipping and kissing his neck. 

He groaned deeply, his body trembling with the effort to maintain control. "Take off your shorts," he commanded, his hands tightening on her hips. "I need to be inside you now.”

As she let go of his cock, he sat back on his knees at the end of the bed as she frantically tried to pull her shorts down. His cock twitched in anticipation. As soon as they were down around her ankles, he grabbed her hips, pushing her back onto the bed, positioning himself at her entrance. 

Y/n moaned as her back hit the bed with some force. Her hands racked into his hair, tugging desperately as his tip rub up against her aching core “A-August” 

"Relax, baby," he murmured, his voice rough and low. He dragged his tip down her folds, teasing her. 

He chuckled darkly against her neck as he continued to tease y/n like she did to him. “P-please stop teasing” she panted. 

August smirked and finally pushed inside her, filling her up in one swift motion. He groaned deeply, his hips meeting y/n's as he began to thrust slowly. “So tight…” he growled against her earlobe. 

Y/n let out a loud moan, throwing her head back against the pillow as he stretched her out. August picked up the pace, his hips slapping against hers as he took her hard and fast. His free hand gripped her hip tightly, holding her down while he claimed every inch of her body. “You feel so good…”he panted, his cock throbbing inside her.

Y/n dug her nails into his back and wrapped her legs around his waist as a desperate attempt to hold on as he moved harder and faster. I moaned and whimpered his name as the bed creaked and moved under their movements. 

"Fuck..." August groaned, his hips slamming against hers as he lost control. His cock pounded deep inside her, claiming her body as his own. The room was filled with the sounds of their passionate lovemaking and creaking of the bed moving under them.

“A-August!” y/n moaned out as he thrusted into her, hitting her g-spot with force over and over. 

"That's it, baby," he growled against her neck as he pounded into her, his hips meeting hers with each thrust as his grip tightened. He pulling her closer, claiming her completely. “You're mine…”

“I'm yours!” y/n moaned. 

"fuck yes," he growled, his lips brushing against her neck. His thrusts became harder and faster, his body trembling with the effort to hold back his impending orgasm. Y/n’s moans fueled his passion, driving him to greater heights of desire.

She felt a tight knot forming her stomach, making her heart pounded as she tightened around him every time his tip hit her g-spot. Y/n gripped his shoulders, moaning louder “I'm c-close”

"Cum for me, baby," he groaned, his hips slamming against hers as he thrust deeper and harder. His cock throbbed inside her, seeking release from the intense pleasure coursing through his body.

with one last thrust the knot snapped, triggering her climax. Her head fell back in pleasure as she came hard on his cock “August!” 

August let out a hoarse cry, his body trembling as he felt her tighten around him. He thrust one last time, feeling her clench around him as he released himself inside her. 

“Mmm…” y/n hummed softly and lovingly as she gently ran her fingers through his messy hair. 

"You're so beautiful," he whispered before pressing his lips against her in a slow, passionate kiss. Y/n blushed and kissed him back softly. She moaned against his lips as he slowly pulled out. August let out a soft moan, his cock throbbing from the pleasure. He leaned down to kiss her softly, his eyes locked with her e/c ones. “I love you” he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire.

--------(August's pov)--------

“there you are, where were you, My boy?” my father asked as I walked I to his shop early the next morning. My heart pounded against my chest when he asked my that, I knew I was supposed to remain truthful and selfless if I wanted to remain human. Hell, if I was still a hunck off wood my nose would be a mile long by now. Is it really selfish if I'm protecting y/n? And I'm not lying when I tell my father I was home all night.

“just at my apartment... Doing some writing” still technically not a lie... I was writing untill y/n districted me. I looked into my father's eyes and I knew he could tell I was hiding something. “I know when your lying, your nose may not grow anymore but I see the other signs”

I sighed, taking off my leather jacket and throwing it on the chair that sat in the corner of my father's work shop. “I'm telling you the truth Papa, I was at home”

“with whom, Son?” he pushed. Just out of instincted I reached up and scratched my twitching nose. It's stupid I have to remind myself I'm human and not some wooden lie detector. “you were with her again... Weren't you?”

I sighed and faced my father with pleading eyes. “yes! Yes I was with y/n... Papa whatever beef you have with Jiminy doesn't involve her or me” I stared at him from acrossed his work table, the frustration and emotions I felt since day one of my relationship boiled over. “you want me to be truthfull? Selfless? Well here's to truth, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I love everything about her. Her eyes, her smiles, the ways she laughs, everything! Damnit, papa she's the kindest most selfless person in this whole damn town! It would be selfish of me just to keep our relationship a secret”

My father crossed his arms over his chest sighing. He looked down for just a moment before looking back up at me. “I've been the selfish one, I didn't relize the grudge I held effected not only your life but y/n. I'm truly greatful your heart is full of love and not hate like mine is. If you truly love y/n, then I won't get in your way. If anyone deserves a happy ending it's you, my son”

I was shocked, but relieved at the same time. A big smile few acrossed my face and I hugged my father, greatful he was so excepting.

Later that night I stayed up in the shop, working on a wooden jewelry box for y/n. The quiet was getting to me so I called y/n, putting my phone on speaker phone so I could sand the wood and talk to my Love.

“Hey!” her beautiful voice said.

I smiled, wishing I could see her instead of just hearing her. “hey, beautiful”

“what's up? It's late” she asked concerned. Yeah it was late, but it was nothing new for y/n to stay up so late. She was probably reading.

She was the one person I can't nor won't lie too, so I quickly cut to the chase, not wanting to worry her by beating around the bush. “my papa found out about us...or I told him” I spoke softly.

“I know you don't like lying to him... How did he take it?”

I smiled even though she couldn't see it. “well, I guess we're pretty damn lucky because he said as long as we love each he won't get in the way”

“that's great!”

I smiled softly, then there was a beat of silence between both ends of the phone. It felt like a breath of fresh air not having to hide anymore. There's no amout of words that could express my love for this woman. I don't know how I got so lucky. “hey, sweetheart?”

“yeah?” she asked softly.

“You saw the good in me when no one else did...so thank you” I smiled softly.

“I love you... You'll always be a hero in my eyes. I'm glad we don't have to hide anymore”

“me too... And I love you too” I smiled, I loved her more than ever and how didn't have be a hidden secret.

[leonsrailway]

hello my love! been thinking about creepy stalker leon lately <3 maybe vendetta leon! he's damaged mentally and he can't stop himself from being fixated on you. like he corners you somewhere and dubious consent things proceed. IN PUBLIC WOULD BE HOT, but they don't get caught. for a fem! reader

ive been watching you.

AHHHHH first request ate tf up. something about vendetta leon makes me blush. i hope u like!!!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. NSFW UNDER THE CUT

CW: smut 18+, p in v, fingering, oral (f! receiving), dubcon, semi-public sex, stalking, obsession, masturbation, leon being a creepy perv, age gap (reader is like 22), noncon photography, choking, size kink if u squint and tilt ur head

fem! reader

divider: @leonsdolly

hes not a weirdo. really! he never meant for it to go this far.

it was a random day last august when he wandered into the restaurant you worked at. but as soon as you came to his table and introduced yourself with that pretty little smile and those big doe eyes, he knew he'd been in trouble. after a short pause, he turned his charm on and started a conversation with you.

then he found himself back the next day. and the next.

he swore the only reason he showed up was for the coffee, which was the laziest excuse he could muster considering the coffee was from K-Cups, but you didnt seem to mind. every time you worked, you found your eyes glancing to his booth hoping to see his dark hair poking over the top of the booth in front of him. he could see the way your eyes lit up when you saw him, he just hoped you didnt notice the way his cock twitched when his eyes locked with yours.

during your small talk at his table, even after he learned you were half his age, he could only ever think about the way his large, rough hands would feel running all along your body, from your pretty tits, to your waist, to your thighs, to your- oh shit, what were you saying?

"you with me, Mr. Kennedy?" fuck, he loved when he heard his name leave your lips. "uh, yeah, sorry. long night. what were you saying?"

"did you want your regular?" you were smirking, almost mocking how distracted he was.

"yea, add something for yourself pretty lady, come sit with me on your break?"

leon had been a regular of your months. he looked to be in his late 30s-early 40s, and you'd be lying if you said his little nickname didnt make your knees a little weak.

"as much as id love to, Mr. Kennedy, i cant today. but i can definitely get that order in for you" you reluctantly deny his request.

he didnt appreciate that.

-

after a week of discreetly following you home after your shifts, he'd learned your routines. what time you shower in the evening, what time you have dinner, what time you touch yourself when everyone else falls asleep...

leon invested in some binoculars from the local nerd store and even found a little bush he could hide in perfectly angled to show him your bedroom. he even bought himself a new camera so he could take pictures of you when you look your best, oblivious.

when you had gone off to work one day, he snuck in right as you left. he's not sure what possessed him to do this, he used to be such a good guy. he wanted to protect and serve and... now look at him, rummaging in some 20 somethings underwear drawer.

-

you slam the register shut after counting your money for that night, it had been a long one. full of old men, not leon, telling you to "smile for them" or snapping at you for a refill of their sweet teas. everyone else had gone home for the night, and you were just about to lock up. your body ached, you felt like falling on the nearest flat surface and knocking out for the week.

until you heard the bell ding.

"we're close-" you were cut off by yourself when you saw who walked in, "oh, hey Mr. Kennedy."

theres his girl. "hey honey, you alright? you look tired" he approached you from behind.

"its been a long day, but nothing i can't handle. i was actually just about to lock up the restaurant... so.." you trail off, hoping he may get the hint that you just want to go home.

"well good thing i came in, huh?" he laughs, and so do you, but you didnt find it too funny. he was starting to stand a little bit too close to you for your comfort, even though you trusted him.

"i guess" you say, blushing when he gives you a look that made you almost rip off his shirt right then and there. but you cant, thats wrong, what would your parents think?

"you look pretty, angel" leon says, tilting your head up to look up at him. god, he was tall, and his one hand could cover your whole face.

"t-thank you Mr. Ke-"

"Leon. call me Leon"

"thank you, leon" you reply, crossing your arms, tensing up. you knew you shouldn't be feeling this way, it isn't professional.

he couldnt hold himself back anymore. whether it was the way your big pretty eyes looked up at him like a trap, or the way his hand was finally grazing your soft skin, something made him bold enough to kiss you.

"Le- Leon... we can't" you made out between kisses, as much as you were denying him, you were still kissing him back, that kept him going.

"we can't? that's too bad..." he mutters in your ear, breath fanning against your neck as his fingers wandered below your waistband, "because im gonna do it anyway"

you squirmed against him but you couldn't deny the way you mewled in his ear when he grazed your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. he laughed meanly in your ear before putting his free hand around your throat and gently squeezing when he applies the slightest pressure to your clothes clit, making you moan, "i knew you'd like that". he lays you down in a booth in the empty restaurant.

"p-lease... fuck" you tugged at his shirt, shyly asking for more. he laughs at the change in your charcter from only a moment ago, before ultimately complying with your silent request. he rips your clothes off and leaves a trail of sloppy, wet kisses from your neck, to your tits, to your stomach, and finally down to your pussy.

he gazes up at you with the hungriest eyes youve ever seen, glazed over and half lidded yet so focused on you. he makes out with your cunt, his nose bumping into your clit as he slips his tongue in and out of your hole, making lewd, borderline pornographic sounds. you were a wreck, writhing under him and grinding your hips into his face as he moaned incoherent praises into you, the vibrations making you soak his face more than you knew you could.

he eventually sticks two fingers into you as he sucks on your puffy, neglected clit, and once he curls his fingers to the spot that makes you jolt, he keeps on hitting that spot again and again and again until you cum in his mouth. he doesnt stop then, using his tongue to clean up your mess until you're pushing him away, a stupid cocky grin plastered on his wet lips.

you didn't realize you were taking his belt off until his cock was in front of you. he was big, leaking precum from his pretty pink tip and his eyes were piercing yours as he pumped himself a few times before lining himself with your entrance, the two of you gasping in tandem as he bottomed out inside of you.

tears pricked at your eyes as he began to move, the pain and pleasure and overstimulation from your last orgasm all combining and making a cocktail of sensations you've never experienced before. your head lolled to the side and you squeezed your eyes shut while leon rocked you into next year, until he just almost cuts off your airway and forces you to face him and look in his eyes as he drills into you like a jackhammer.

"ah-ah-ah-f-uuuck, Lee!" you moaned into his neck as you scratched pretty red lines down his back, making him grit his teeth to keep from letting out a whine he'd only heard when cumming in the panties he stole from your room

"i know pretty girl, feels good doesn't it?" he lets up on your throat, not that you could catch your breath at the rate he was plowing you. "y-yes- i'm cumming, oh my god im cumming" your eyes roll into the back of your head and you draw blood from biting your lip.

"go ahead princess, im right there with you" he grunts, slightly angling to hit you impossibly deeper, which was your final straw, you let out a string of curses and chants of his name as you cream his cock, he spills his load inside of you. not that you're that angry, his warm cum spilling out of you felt so nice you couldn't dare be angry.

the two of you catch your breath in silence until leon snaps a photo of your leaky cunt, both of your cum spilling onto your thighs.

[callmelola111]

maniac ♡ e.w. oneshot

✄ - - - -   inspo track   - - - -   maniac

synopsis: lies are spewed and truths are revealed when a precarious friend group joins together once more on the 1 year anniversary of their estranged friends disappearance.

      | 𓆣 | pairing & wc: ellie williams x reader. wc: 4.4k

      | ❀ | cw: 18+ themes (MDNI), modern au, reader is referred to with she/her pronouns but other than that all descriptors are gender neutral, heavy violence blood and gore, oc deaths, drug use, homophobia (use of the word "dyke" once. i'm a lesbian so don't y'all try to cancel me), heavy language, mentions of reader having anxiety and panic attacks, lots of tension and fighting, ⭑ SMUT ⭑ ... thigh riding (r on e), dom!ellie, sub!reader, fingering (r receiving), pet names (baby, angel, etc.)

a/n: hi lovelies!! long time no see... i know this is a little different from my usual stuff but i honestly really love how it turned out. i spent a good chunk of time planning this out and then even longer writing it so i really hope y'all love it! i want this to be a fresh and exciting read for everyone. if you do end up enjoying the fic, any kind of note is greatly appreciated! ur fave tumblr writers thrive off all y'alls support! anyways, love love love you guys!!! ♡~ lola

To everyone else, it was a summer like any other. But when it came to you and your friends there was something missing this time– someone missing. This absence felt extra heavy as tomorrow would be the 1 year anniversary of August’s disappearance, and the annual camping trip was right on time with it. It had been tradition for as long as you could remember, but its memory was now tainted and left something that used to be so sure, completely up in the air…

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

The five of you squeezed into the small 4 person booth at your favorite local diner; Tj’s Eats. In one seat sat Lottie and Reid. The girl’s loose, dark curls gathered at the boy's shoulders as she snuggled into him, still clearly in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. On the other side of the white marbled table sat Xavier and Ellie, with you perched on her lap, of course, as she insisted to everyone that it was “necessity” and “there really, really was no more room”. In all actuality, all it took was an extra chair to fit the five, but she was your girlfriend, and even after years of dating you still couldn’t get enough of each other. 

“Can someone just say what we’re all thinking, please! I can’t with this tension,” Lottie complained, finally snapping out of the cuddle fest with her red-headed boyfriend.

“What are we all thinking Lottie, huh? Since you know everything,” Xavier retaliated, guising his irritation with a poorly crafted remark. 

“Don’t be fucking mean,” she said, kicking him under the table.

“Yeah seriously chill out,” Reid echoed. 

“God, enough with this shit, you guys are driving me insane!” Ellie butted in. You, however, paid no mind to this type of bullshit, as fights like this had become a frequent occurrence in your group of friends ever since that godforsaken night. So you continued to down your chocolate shake and drown out the bickering with a light hum. That is, until you were rudely interrupted by Xavier’s insulting words.

“You’re being real fucking quiet over there, Y/n. Do you really have nothing to say? You can’t just tune us out forever. We’re your fucking friends.”

You felt your hands balled into tight fists, “Fine. You want me to say something? I’ll say something–my brother is still missing and if you’re even thinking of going on that stupid fucking trip this year, you can count me out.”

“Not going on that trip isn’t gonna magically bring him back. August is gone and we can’t stop living our lives because of it,” he retorted, going just a tad bit too far. This was the last straw and quickly sent you up and out of your warm place in Ellie’s lap. She grasped at your wrist trying to pull you back into this mess of a friend group, but to no avail. 

“Now look what you’ve fucking done!” Ellie yelled at your defense as you disappeared into the bathroom.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

Now face-to-face with your tear-stained cheeks in the mirror, your head fell down between your shoulders, slowly letting the pent up emotions roll off your back. Ever since you lost August, life had become 10 times harder. As much as your younger self would’ve hated to admit it, he was your rock–your annoying brother–but still, your rock. This confession made you feel even worse though, because deep down, there was a part of you that blamed yourself for how things happened. Maybe if you would’ve stopped fighting, or told the truth to the police, or took it easier on the booze and coke that night, August would still be here. There was nothing you could do now though. This was your reality and you had to accept it. 

With that you reached into the pocket of Ellie’s varsity jacket that engulfed your figure, hoping to find a tissue to blot away your tears and smeared mascara. Instead, you were met with a small polaroid. You flipped it over to reveal a bewildering picture of Xavier and August from the last night he was seen. Their arms were swung around each other’s necks, both flashing toothy smiles at the camera and you could recall being the one to take this photo. The one thing you didn’t remember is the black sharpie captioning the bottom of the image. It read “don’t believe his lies”. Your head began to race with countless questions and zero answers. The biggest one being, what the fuck was Xavier lying about?

The wet bathroom countertop dug into the palms of your hands as you took a second to decide the best course of action, but all you could come up with was shutting the fuck up and pretending it never happened. You weren’t ready to relive last year all over again. Not yet–not ever. So you paraded back into the dining room, eyes still damp and hands still shaking. Ellie felt your energy immediately and knew it was time to go.

She glanced at you for confirmation and then turned to address the group, “I think it’s time for me and Y/N to head out. Sorry guys.” Xavier shot a look of discontent and Ellie mouthed something along the lines of “I’m sorry, I’ll talk to her I promise”, which seemed to slightly ease the tension he was previously carrying in his shoulders. She then slid out from the booth, slipped her left hand into the pocket of your denim shorts, and ushered you outside to her red convertible.

The drive back was silent but as Ellie’s hand gently stroked the flesh of your thighs and the other steered you knew there was no way she could have anything to do with that polaroid. But you had to find out who did. Just as you were nearing your house though, Ellie’s gentle touch quickly shifted to a handsier approach and it was clear she had other plans for the night. 

“Els?” is all you had to say before she quickly pulled over and jumped to the backseat, pulling you along with her. She positioned herself in the middle seat opening up her legs in a dominating stance resembling a manspread. You eagerly climbed atop her lap, placing soft kisses up her veiny neck and extending them to her defining jawline. This was just what you needed to release the tension that had racked up from tonight's events. The moon was hitting your face just right and Ellie felt so lucky to have you in that moment.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful” she murmured, slightly breathless from the overwhelming touch of your lips. You smiled against the crook of her neck and dove into the girl's mouth for a deep and passionate kiss. She returned the exchange with even more fire, graciously slipping her tongue into your entrance. With each second things got messier and your hips got looser, slowly grinding into Ellie’s denim clad thighs. She couldn’t help but chuckle just a little at your desperation, to which you buried your head back into her shoulder, encasing her in your arms for better traction. Ellie’s hands swiftly found the curves of your hips and rocked them back forth to aid you in your journey towards climax. That is until your anxiety got the best of you at the sound of rustling coming from outside the car.

“Ellie?”

“What does it not feel good?” she questioned.

“No, no– It’s just… I swear I just heard something coming from behind the car.”

“I mean… we are parked by the woods. It’s probably just some animal or the wind.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes babe, I’m sure.” she assured you with a firm squeeze to your thigh and you let your worries go. This time Ellie was on top, laying you down across the seats to hover over you alluringly. Your lips found hers once again as she slipped a hand down your shorts and past your panties to meet the slick that had been piling up the whole drive. You let out a strangled moan into Ellie’s mouth as her rough digits met the throbbing bud of nerves. She took that as a sign to speed up the pace and slip in a curved finger to hit that perfect spot. You jerked in pleasure, eyes closed, almost reaching your climax from just those few movements. Ellie felt as your walls tightened around her and knew you were close.

“Look at me baby. I wanna see your eye’s when you cum all over my fingers.” she cooed. You obeyed and parted your lids open to reveal a disturbing image followed by a frightened scream escaping your puffy lips. Ellie jumped back at the clearly non-orgasmic exclamation, letting out a string of concerned “what? What??”’s. All you could do is point your shaky hand towards the message written in the condensation of the back windshield. 

“I know about last summer…” Ellie read out, voice as shaky as your extremities. Both of your fight or flight responses were triggered; you choosing flight and her of course choosing fight. The door to the cherry red car flung open and Ellie climbed over and out of her seat to trail the perimeter. You cowered down, eye’s filled with tears as Ellie recklessly yelled out to whoever wrote the message.

“Hello? Anybody out there?”, she kicked at the rocks in frustration, “Seriously who the fuck are you? This isnt fucking funny!”

“Ellie, will you please just get back in the car? They’re gone!” you pleaded. She eventually returned from her fit and came to console you. You were a mess and you were scared. 

“Hey, hey, it’s probably some prank. Let’s just take a breath, babe. In and out. Nice and slow.” she coached and you followed.

“But- what if it’s not though… what if this isn’t the first time something like this has happened…”

“Wha-what do you mean?” she asked.

You pulled out the polaroid and handed it to Ellie, “I- I found this in your jacket.”

“Y/n I swear I didn't put that there. I have no idea where it came from. Please, please believe me.”

“I do, I do. But that means someone else put it there, and they probably wrote that message too.”

Her head fell into her hands as she let out a sigh, “Fuck. We’re so fucked.”

“So what do we do?” 

“We go on that camping trip and keep our mouths shut till we know more.” 

“Seriously? What is camping gonna help? I already said I’m not going!” you yelled.

“Like hell you are! You’re insane if you think staying in the same town with the psycho freak who's borderline blackmailing us is gonna solve shit! If we’re in the woods they can’t get to us.” Ellie argued, face turning red with insistence.

“Fuck. I guess you’re kinda right. I’ll go.”

“Thank you.”

“Will you sleep over tonight though? I’m scared Els. I don’t even wanna think about being alone after tonight.”

She gave you a kiss on the forehead, “Of course I’ll stay the night. We’re in this together, okay?”

“Okay.”

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - - 

The next morning Reid came barreling over in his beat up white van. He haphazardly whipped into the driveway of your two story home that looked straight out of suburbia. Ellie stood at the top of the concrete hill holding your pink duffle and her navy blue one on the dip of her shoulder. Xavier swung open the sliding door and the both of you climbed in as you were practically slapped in the face with the smell of old bong water and way too many Little Trees air fresheners that somehow made the smell worse.

“Fuckk Reid, you’ve gotta get rid of this kidnapper van.” Ellie remarked, holding her nose and pretending to gag a couple times.

“Fuck off Ellie, you should be thanking me for driving you bums around.”

She just rolled her eyes, “Righttt… Right…” 

The van quickly took to the road again, heading straight for the forest where it all happened just 1 year ago.

“It’s too quiet in here. Can we please put on some music?” Lottie asked about 30 minutes into the drive. 

“Yeah sure. I have a few tapes in the console right there if you wanna put one in.” Reid gestured to the compartment on the passenger side and Lottie reached in, pulling out the first tape she could find. It was in a small plastic case with no writing or cover to indicate what it was, but it sparked an intrigue, so she popped it into the car's sound system anyways. To Lottie and everyone else’s surprise, music didn’t start playing. All that came through the speakers was a muffled recording of two voices arguing. 

“Shut the fuck up August you’re just jealous!”

“You’re gonna regret this Reid.”

“Are you threatening me right now?”

“You’re the one who-”

Before the tape could finish Reid ripped it out of the player, slamming it into the dashboard and destroying the possible evidence.

“How the fuck did you get this Lottie?! Where’d you find this, seriously?” he screamed as his frantic girlfriend tried to explain.

“It was just in the console I swear!”

“Don’t fucking lie to me! I’ve never seen that tape, let alone put it in my car!”

Tears welled in her eyes, “I’m not lying Reid!”

The bickering continued as you, Ellie, and Xavier sat in the back, jaws dropped in utter shock. You felt yourself shutting down at this new found information. Did Reid have something to do with August disappearing? What were they even fighting about? Suddenly breathing felt impossible and the world went silent as panic set it. You only snapped back to Earth when you heard the sound of Ellie screaming.

“FUCK REID LOOK OUT!” It was too late though and the thud of a full size deer flipping over the hood is what finally shut everyone up. 

“Oh my god…” you shuddered at the smear of thick crimson blood across the dirty windshield. It didn’t matter if it was an animal, Reid had just taken a life and you were basically an accomplice. Your heart broke and the pit of your stomach swirled with sickness thinking of the likely decapitated body splattered just behind the van. Ellie wrapped you in her arms, as if to shield you from the horror of not only the poor deer, but the realization that any one of your friends could be the reason your brother was missing. 

Xavier finally broke the jarring lull in speech, “I- I think we should take a pit stop.”

“Yeah…” Ellie agreed.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - -

A few miles down the road was a small gas station where Reid pulled over for everyone to recollect themselves. Lottie scrubbed mindlessly at the deer carnage with the murky gas station water and squeegee she found beside the gas pump. Xavier paced in the parking lot like he was off one but it was the pure anxiety and adrenaline that had him tweaking so much. Reid on the other hand was still stuck at the wheel, slouching in the driver's seat, and not making a single move since he put the van into park. Even his deep green eyes remained motionless, they seemed to be locked onto absolutely nothing, just staring into the void. Everyone was a fucking mess. The only people who seemed to be somewhat on this planet still were you and Ellie.

“I think I might gouge my eye’s out if I don’t eat some Swedish Fish and drink a Yerb as soon as possible.” you professed, walking inside the little convenience store with a ring of a bell.

“I think I need a fucking cigarette.” Ellie said in a joking tone, but candidly, these past few days had her seriously considering picking the old habit back up.

“I think everybody does. I’m tired of shit like this happening and then everyone shoving it under the rug cause we’re all still ashamed about last year. I mean, I know I am, but we have to talk about it eventually.”

“You’re right, but even if we did, what is there to say? We were all so fucked up the whole night’s just a blurry mess. Like, did you see Reid's face when that tape came on? It looked like he was hearing the conversation for the first time just like the rest of us.”

“This sucks Ellie” you groaned as you opened up the glass door to retrieve your drink. Ellie approached from behind, slithering her hands from your sides to your naval and giving you a squeeze. 

She planted a soft kiss to the top of your head, “This does suck, but I love you and we’re gonna be alright. You gonna be okay for the rest of the drive?” She flipped you around to face her and you gave an assuring nod in response. Ellie always knew just what to say to ease that panicky feeling that was constantly bubbling up in your chest. The girl then took your hand and led you to the counter where a gruff looking cashier checked you out. He slowly scanned each item at an agonizing pace; Hot fries, Swedish Fish, a Yerba Mate, Chex Mix, and a Fanta Orange. 

“Total is $13.78” he mumbled as Ellie swiped her card and you gathered up the snacks. The clerk's eyes seemed to get meaner and meaner each second you waited for your receipt– until he finally cracked. “You know you’re going to hell for what you did.” 

Ellie backed away, “Excuse me?” Had he overheard something? Did he know about August? Who the fuck was this guy?

“I don’t need any dykes shoving their sins all in my face in my own damn store!” he grunted. Oh, he’s just homophobic. Right. That was y’alls que to get back on the road and out of the middle of nowhere immediately.

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - -

After an excruciatingly mute hour stuck in the “kidnapper van” you finally arrived at the forest where you’d be spending the night. The silence looked to have eased some of the tension though as conversation grew a little more lax around the campfire. 

“Yo Lottie do you have the bud? We should roll up.” Xavier suggested. You nodded fervently in agreement, a joint was exactly what you needed. Lottie seemed to have made up with Reid as she was hanging all over him not hearing a word Xavier said.

With a few calls of her name she finally looked up, “Huh?”

“The weed Lottie.” Ellie said.

“Yeah it’s in a little pouch in my tent if someone wants to grab it.” Xavier got up from his spot on a mossy log and ventured into the purple tent hitched by a tree. In just 30 seconds flat he came storming back out, face completely red and a beaded bracelet dangling from his right fist. 

“What the fuck is this Lottie!? How do you have this?” 

She pulled back from her steamy kiss with Reid to answer, “Oh my god what Xavier? You’re being sooo goddamn annoying today.”

“Could you maybe stop grinding on your boyfriend for 5 fucking seconds and look at what I found in your bag?!” he yelled back. After a closer look the small beads began to look eerily familiar. This wasn’t just any bracelet, this was August’s bracelet. The one he had on the last night he was seen, and all of the sudden Lottie’s loud mouth seemed to shut right up.

“I- I- Xavier believe me I didn’t put that there.”

His voice broke with pain and fury, “Oh really?? Then who did ‘Miss innocent’?”

“I don’t fucking know but it wasn’t me!”

“Fuck you!” he screamed, dashing off into the dark woods. Everyone tried to yell at him to come back but it was no use. He was too angry to listen to anyone but himself.

That being said, hypervigilant Reid stood up to follow, “I’m gonna go find him guys. He shouldn’t be out there alone. Not after…” His voice trailed off but everyone knew exactly what he was alluding to.

“I really didn’t put that there you know” Lottie said.

You and Ellie shared a glance, “We know.”

A puzzled look spread across her face, “what do you mean you know?”

“We think someone’s orchestrating all this,” Ellie said.

“Like blackmail?”

You nodded, “exactly like blackmail. It’s happened to me and Ellie too. Once with a lost polaroid photo and another time with a message written on her car.” You then pulled out the photo to show to Lottie.

She read it aloud, “Don’t believe his lies? Like… Xavier?” Ellie twiddled with her fingers, looking down at the dirt before saying what you and Lottie were both thinking.

“I mean, I don’t want to point fingers because this is a fucked up situation, but how have we all been framed except him?”

Lottie smoothed back the sweaty bangs stuck to her temples, “Fuckkkk. He probably had the bracelet from the start too, he seemed sooo damn eager to go dig through my shit.” 

“So, what do we do?” you asked.

Xavier suddenly appeared out of thin air, “What do we do about what?” Lottie practically jumped out of her spot.

“Fuck Xavier you scared me. Wait… Wh- where’s Reid?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he left to look for you.”

“I never saw him.”

Lottie began to scream and call for her missing boyfriend and without a second thought went straight for the forest like an idiot.

“Lottie fuck come back!” Ellie yelled out. It wasn’t long before she was running right back to you though. A blood curdling scream dampening any sounds of nature and sending a parade of chills up everyone’s backs.

“IT’S REID Y/N! IT’S REID! HE- HE- HE’S DEAD!” Lottie collapsed into your arms dry heaving from the overwhelming amount of tears, pain, and betrayal. “IT WAS YOU! IT WAS FUCKING YOU XAVIER!” You and Ellie worked to hold her back as he denied every claim.

“Lottie you’re acting fucking crazy! I didn’t do shit!”

“Even if you didn’t, you're not helping! But to me, it looks like you have guilty written all over you!” Ellie spat back.

“Fuck you guys! This isn’t fucking funny! I didn’t do it! Please, is this some kind of-” His words were cut short along with his head by the swing of a large machete right through his neck, sending a spray of fresh blood into the air and across your face. It took a solid 15 seconds before any of you could even let out a scream, but when you did, it was pure terror.  

“RUN! JUST RUN!” you yelled. Ellie grabbed your wrist in one hand and Lottie’s in the other, sprinting away with little discretion. A hooded figure trailed close behind, dirt and rocks flying into the air upon each kick of their sneakers. Air caught in your lungs with no release, all you could do was put one foot in front of the other which was a struggle in itself.

Lottie got brave though and took one single look behind her following immediate regret. A rock caught her pink converse just right, throwing her across the dirty ground and setting her feet back from the rest. And as this hooded figure caught up, the moon casting its light through the trees and across his face, it all began to make sense.

Lottie struggled backwards through the dirt with a scream, “IT’S AUGUST! IT’S FUCKING AUGUST!” Ellie halted in an attempt to pull the fallen girl back up and running but she was frozen in disbelief, in horror, in complete and utter fear. There was no choice but to leave her there and as the both of you turned to run, all you needed to hear was her earth shattering shriek to know exactly what happened.

Tears streamed down your face, “Els, Ellie I- I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Just keep running baby please.” And you did for another couple feet until fate had other plans. A hunting trap violently swept you up into a tree, encasing you in a thick net. 

“ELLIE HELP!” you screamed. She pulled and pulled at the rope creating lacerations across her palms and fingers but to no avail. 

“Do you trust me Y/n?” 

Through tears and strings of snot you shook your head, “Yes Ellie, I trust you.” Your girlfriend then took off, leaving you dangling in the air with no protection. It was just you and August now. And with a single swipe of his weapon you tumbled to the ground, twisting your ankle at the fall.

He gave a sinister smile, “hello sister.” You scrambled in the opposite direction, hands grasping at the soil below but never getting far with your limp foot. 

“August please. You don’t have to do this. It’s me! It’s Y/n!”

“STOP IT! You’re not gonna change my mind about this. I’ve waited long enough!” Your heart beats from your chest. What the fuck were you going to do to survive this?

“We’re fucking family August! I’m your sister. You’re my little brother!”

“‘Family’, ‘little brother’,” he mocked, “you haven’t changed a bit.”

“Wha- what do you mean?”

“I’m not living in your shadow anymore Y/n. I’m done being the sidekick to you and all of your stupid friends!”

“They’re your friends too!”

He began inching closer and closer, “No they fucking aren’t! Friends don’t do what you guys did to me. Lying to the police, seriously? Acting like you had no idea what happened? I disappeared and none of you even gave a fuck till the cops started asking questions!”

“That’s not true August,” you broke down into tears once more, “I missed you every fucking day!”

“Clearly not enough.” He slowly lifted his arms, gripping the bloody machete with both hands. There was no escaping at this point. You just clenched your eye’s shut and braced for the end. 

“NOOO!” The sound of a gunshot rang through your ears and instead of the feeling of cold metal slicing through you, you were met with the warm embrace of your girlfriend. You broke.

“Ellie. Oh my god Ellie.”

“I’m right here baby. Never leaving. I promise.” She just held you and held you, rocking back and forth till your breaths got less shaky.

“H-How?”

“A cabin. I found an empty cabin with a shotgun hanging right on the wall.”

“God, I love you.” Ellie smoothed back your hair and gave you a kiss.

“I love you too, angel.” 

✄ - - - -   ♡   - - - -

After that night things were never the same. It was just you and Ellie now. But together you would heal. Somehow, despite all the pain and loss, there was a glimmer of hope. Deep down you both knew things would be okay. And they were.

✄ - - - -   masterlist   - - - -   ♡

taglist...

@endureher @gold-dustwomxn @alexpritch @4rt3m1ss @robinismywifee @sophlovesbooks @97cityy

(taglist is for all callmelola111 works, if you'd like to be removed just kindly lmk)

[billys-pretty-babe]

Tropicana's Where I Lost My Heart

Pairing : Billy Hargrove x Stripper!Fem!Reader

Summary : March 29, 1988 was the first time Billy could step into a strip club where there was both tits and alcohol in the same room. Los Angeles, California was a long way from Hawkins, Indiana, so why was his ex girlfriend there dancing for a room full of pervs?

Warnings : Swearing, alcohol, lap dance, smut (protected piv, cumshot), vch piercing

Word count : 3,108

A/N : Inspired by Girls, Girls, Girls by Mötley Crüe (X)

Los Angeles was not a place that Billy visited very often, but the night of his 21st when his childhood friends and Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins came to visit, Tommy suggested a strip club. So, that's what they did. Tropicana always had a line outside of it, one of the best strip clubs because it served alcohol, you could pay for private rooms, could pay for lap dances, and best of all tits were out.

He leaned against the brick wall, a lit cigarette in his mouth as about twenty people, men and women, were lined up to get inside as bouncers checked IDs and gave people stamps or X's. "How's she been," Billy asked around the butt of his cigarette. Tommy shrugged, puffing on his own cigarette, handing it to Carol. "Haven't seen her since you left, she's probably dead." Billy pushed Tommy as Tommy laughed obnoxiously, fixing his stance as he leaned against Carol.

"Just saying, you guys broke up in August of '85, that was nearly three years ago, man. She's not around no more, at least she's not in Hawkins. Her folks are still there, her mom's still friends with Susan. Oh, Neil's in jail, I forgot what for." Billy hummed, nodding and he flung his finished cigarette into the road. Soon, they were all cleared to go inside, and Billy took in the atmosphere.

The lights were bright on the stage, men and women of all ages, mainly men that were older sat near the stage. Tommy had rented a booth close to the stage and someone led them to it. "Birthday boy gets the closest seat." Billy rolled his eyes as everyone piled into the booth, Carol sitting on Tommy's lap as Billy sat down at the outside seat.

A bar girl got their drink orders, checking ID's and wishing Billy a happy birthday before taking their orders to the bartender. Throughout the night, Billy remembered why he stopped drinking with Tommy who was ogling the topless women. Carol was no different, whistling at the girls, making Billy shake his head at the two of them.

Billy finished off his beer and Carol ordered shots for the table. Billy could handle his alcohol, he knew that much from all of Tina's parties that he attended, beating his own keg record each time. He wasn't paying attention until Carol gasped. "Told you she wasn't dead, Tommy," she said, slapping her boyfriend's shoulder.

Billy looked up to the stage, watching you. Men and women whistled watching you work the shiny silver pole on the middle of the stage. Billy's childhood friends looked to the stage, seeing who had caught their best friend's eye. "She's hot," James said. Billy's eyes flickered to him before going back to you.

Tommy snickered, "That's his ex." James' jaw dropped, "No way he bagged that." Tommy laughed, "She didn't look like that in high school, not that I remember at least." You did look the same, Billy was the only guy to ever see you naked, your body was ingrained into his brain forever after the night he took your virginity.

He noticed the pretty little tattoos on your body, seeing one right under the string of the material on your hips. The bar girl came back, and Carol began asking her about you. "She does lap dances for five dollars, private rooms are twenty and she won't take her top off on stage but give her ten bucks and she will." Carol nodded, pulling money out of her clutch that Tommy was holding onto.

"Birthday boy gets a lap dance." He looked at her as Tommy began cheering, Billy's friends egging him on and cheering too. "I'll get her over here when she's done." Carol nodded, thanking her and she left the table. "Fuck you," Billy said through his teeth to his friends and they all laughed at him. "Lighten up, she probably doesn't remember you anyways. Like I said, nearly three years, and who knows, she probably has a boyfriend somewhere around here."

Billy's jaw clenched at Tommy's words; he wanted you to be happy but with him. The two of you ended on bad terms, he wanted you to follow him to California, you told him no and he left in the middle of the night because he was angry. You never got to say goodbye to him.

You finished your dance, security gathering the cash for you and handing it to you as you thanked the large man, going backstage. You went to your dressing room, putting the money into neat stacks and into bags, tossing them into your locker. Someone knocked on the door and you looked over, smiling at Claire, the bar girl. "Hey, we have a lap dance." You nodded, touching up your makeup.

"What's he look like?" She smiled dreamily, "Tall, blonde with curls, pretty ass blue eyes. He has some tattoos on his hands. He's with a group of friends, I'll bring them all to your section because they're in a booth." You nodded, thanking her and finished touching up your makeup.

You put on more deodorant and a little perfume behind your ears and neck, knowing the guy would be close enough to smell it. You bent over, fixing the laces on your heels and stood up, looking in the mirror, bending over and fixing your boobs in your top. The entire outfit was skimpy but left enough for a man's imagination to go wild, wanting to pay for the clothes to be taken off.

You walked to your section, immediately recognizing Tommy Hagan's freckly face as Carol had her arm around his waist. Blonde hair. You knew it wasn't Steve Harrington, he was a brunette. There were only two blondes that Tommy hung out with, Billy Hargrove and Jason Carver. For once in your life, you were hoping it was the latter but with the look on Tommy's face, it wasn't.

In the chair, your designated lap dance chair, was Billy Hargrove. Your heart raced. He looked different; he was still hot, hotter than he was when he was your boyfriend. He had more tattoos that peeked out of the muscle shirt he wore, his hands had tattoos as well, but he never touched his pretty face. His brow still had a slit in it and his blue eyes were just as striking as you remember them to be, the same ones were in your dreams every night.

You had half a mind to give another dancer him but at the same time, you didn't want to see your co-workers grinding on your ex-boyfriend. "Who's paying," you asked. Carol put the money out and you took it, putting it in the tip jar that you had. You sat in his lap; his thighs were bigger than you remembered. You'd know because you had ridden him practically every night after he took your virginity.

"This okay," you asked him, and he nodded, his hands on the sides of his thighs. You grabbed them, placing them on your waist. A song started, some type of R&B, it was definitely music to fuck to. Tommy's eyes were trained on the stage, practically slobbering like a dog as Carol teased him. Your hands laid on Billy's shoulders as you began the lap dance. Billy's eyes were trained on you, his lips were slightly apart.

He felt himself getting harder with each second you were grinding on him. His hands gripped your waist tightly, wishing it was a different situation, wishing he was holding you close and kissing you. Sooner than he liked, it was over. You leaned to his ear, "Happy birthday, B," you said, just loud enough for him to hear it over the loud music. His heart stopped.

Did someone tell you it was his birthday? There was no way you remembered that. You glanced at his friends, seeing all of them occupied. "Come with me," you said, getting up and he stood up behind you as you grabbed the money from your tip jar and going to your dressing room. He followed you, sitting in an office chair in the corner of the room as you shut the door.

You added the money from your dances into the bags in your locker. You sat in your chair and looked at him, really getting a good look at him in the well-lit room. "Didn't expect you to be a stripper." You shrugged, "College didn't work out for me. I needed to get away." He hummed, "So you chose California?" You nodded. He pursed his lips, "Bullshit, you're lying. You're doing that thing with your nose. What's the real reason you came to California?"

Him.

You shrugged, "I don't know, needed a change of scenery." He hummed again, "And lie number two within in the span of five seconds." You rolled your eyes, fixing the lipstick at the corner of your lips. "You followed me, didn't you?" You shrugged, "Maybe, maybe not." He nodded, "How long have you been here?" You looked at him in the mirror, "Since March '86." Two years and he had never run into you.

"You're lying to me about college. You left during Spring semester; you didn't even give it an entire school year." You sighed, "Cause I fucked up. I should've come with you instead of letting you come here alone." He nodded, practically burning a hole into your skin.

"I still think about what could have happened if we were still together. Probably married with a kid or two with one on the way." You looked at him, turning in your chair. "You wanted kids with me?" He nodded, "And marriage. You were the only girl I had ever thought about being married to. I hated marriage until you came into my life."

The way he looked at you looked like he wanted, like he still loved you. You had never forgotten about the way he loved you, he loved you like every single day was his last day with you. You looked at your dressing room door, getting up and locking it and you moved to where he was, standing between his knees.

Your hand went to his cheek and his hands darted to your waist, pulling you close. He leaned in, stopping when his forehead touched yours. "Did you kiss anyone tonight?" You shook your head, "No, I don't kiss customers." He nodded, kissing you. The kiss was different than the others the two of you had shared. You couldn't describe it, but it felt familiar.

Billy kissed like he was hungry for you, like he needed this. His hands wandered under your butt, pulling you so you were in his lap. His hands messed with the strings on the bottom of your two-piece outfit. He pulled away from you, panting a little. The most action he had recently was with his left hand and whatever shitty porn he was able to get his hands on.

"Are you clean?" You nodded, "Haven't fucked anyone since you." His heart did a little skip, he believed you. "Are you clean," you asked back. He laughed and nodded; he had a few hook ups after you but those ended in 1987. "You got so hot," you said with no shame. He laughed, "Me? Fucking look at you." He kissed your jaw, pressing hard kisses to your neck, kissing a few of your small tattoos as he bit the top of your left boob.

"B, I know we love foreplay, but I need you in me, right now." He laughed, kissing you as he reached between the two of you, unbuckling his belt. Your hands went between the two of you, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, pulling them down to his knees as he pulled his dick out through the hole in his boxers.

"Was that what the hole was for," he asked himself in his head. He reached into his wallet, thanking himself that he put it in his front pocket rather than his back pocket. He grabbed the gold foil, tossing his wallet onto the floor.

"Open your mouth," he said, to which you did. He put the corner of the pack in your mouth, and you bite down, and he ripped the corner off, taking the condom out. He rolled it on himself. He went to undo the strings on your bottoms. "Is this, okay?" You nodded, "More than okay, please, just need you." He nodded, quickly pulling the strings as your lower half was revealed to him and when he hiked your legs up, he saw something shiny.

He put his right arm behind your back, gently leaning you back. He hooked his thumb at the top of your labia and gently pulled up, revealing the clit piercing. He whistled when he saw it, "It's pretty." You smiled, your skin heating up. "Does it add more stimulation?" You nodded and he hummed, "We'll be testing that out at my place, but for now," he said, grabbing two inches below his tip as he brought your chest to his, running his tip through your slick.

He tapped it against your clit, and you moaned, thankful for the loud music playing throughout the club. "Ready," he asked you. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, holding your hands behind his back, hoping he wouldn't smash your fingers against the wall.

He pulled you a little closer so you could feel the curls on his base on your clit. You felt the condom slide against your entrance before his thumb guiding his tip inside of you. He moved his thumb to the edge of your hole, gently pulling it to allow a little room for his cock and you moaned, back already arching at the feeling.

Both of his hands went to your waist and once your butt was on his thighs, he moaned, head falling back to the wall. He swallowed, his Adam's Apple moving, and you couldn't help but you place your lips right under his jaw and sucked a hickey onto his skin.

Albeit he tasted like alcohol from his cologne, but you ignored it because right under it, you could taste him. He controlled your hips as he looked at you, peppering your skin with kisses and little bites. He spread his legs a little, thrusting up into you, making you cry out for him, your nails digging into his back through the material of his shirt.

Your body was overtaken by pleasure, not being able to ride him like you used to. Your head fell to his shoulder at a particularly hard thrust and he laughed. You thought about how pathetic you looked. Your ex-boyfriend mentioned marriage and here you were on his dick, how embarrassing. Billy moaned in your ear as you clenched, getting him back for laughing at you.

"God, you feel so good," he moaned out. "Fucking missed this, don't ever make me miss out on you ever again, please." He sounded like he was begging for you. You put one of your hands in his hair, tugging it gently and he let out another moan. Your moans were his favorite, they were authentic, they were him.

You began moving your hips with his thrusts, a deadly combination for the both of you. The room was filled with skin slapping, the wet squelches coming from your body every single time he would thrust back into you, along with the moans from the two of you.

He knew you were close; he could feel the way you were clenching around him. "I got you baby, let go for me. I'm right here, it's okay." Billy was a talker which was good and bad, it was bad when he talked you through your orgasms because his voice was hot, and it made you want to stay on his cock and just soak him completely.

Your thighs started to shake a little. "That's it," he said in your ear, rubbing the small of your back. You succumbed to the pleasure, letting out a loud moan of his name as he talked you through it, his voice was muffled as your body tingled, your eyes rolling back a little.

"Good girl, there we go," he said, trying to stave off his own orgasm, wanting to watch you. God, he loved you so much, he never stopped, and in this raw moment of pleasure, seeing you so vulnerable to him, he loved you even more than before. He kissed you after you caught your breath.

He couldn't help it as his thrusts were getting sloppy and messy, gripping your skin as his breath was coming out heavy. He was so close, and he pulled out, taking the condom off, giving his cock a few quick tugs as his cum landed on your stomach, painting it in uneven stripes with little drips and some globs.

He put his head on your shoulder, his body shaking a little as he was coming down. You gently scratched his back, and he kissed your cheek. "Do you have a towel or something, I kind of made a mess." You laughed and nodded, getting up on shaky legs and you grabbed a clean towel because you tended to shower at the club after your shifts.

You went to clean it yourself before he leaned up, snatching the towel from you. He beckoned you over and you sat back down in his lap, and he cleaned off your stomach, kissing your shoulder as he did so. He cleaned himself up and threw the condom away in your little trash can. "Ready to go to my place?" You nodded quickly. He helped you put your bottoms back on as you slipped on a pair of shorts and a baggy t-shirt over your top. You took your heels off, putting a pair of socks on and grabbing your sneakers, sliding your feet into them.

Billy tied your shoes for you, and you smiled. You got all of your stuff together, including your bags of money and he finished redressing himself and getting himself together. He grabbed his wallet off of the floor and you led him out of the back of the club as he followed you to your car. "Do you still have Blue?" He nodded, "My house, I didn't drive just in case I got drunk." You nodded and got into the car.

From that night forward, everything changed for the better for both you and Billy. Your guys' story didn't end, there was just a pause in it, but the two of you always knew you'd rejoice.

[treacheryinblue]

Chapter 3/?

× Elysium (noun) : a place or condition of ideal happiness. type of: fictitious place, imaginary place, mythical place.

Word Count: 9.3k

Masterlist

A Noah Sebastian x OC Series

× Summary: Noah and his new found (sort of) friend, Persephone, battle the trivial ins and outs of being teenagers in a world that doesn't accept you. They survive together all the way into adulthood - with bouts of loneliness included - where the world is still a fickle bitch.

× Warnings!: language, violence, slowburn, friends to lovers to enemies back to friends, rinse and repeat (not even in that order), eventual smut, sexual themes, etc. Each chapter will have its own set of separate warnings.

× Author Notes: ( 1 ) And there I go again with the too much rambling and making chapters entirely too long. What's the preference when it comes to things like this? ( 2 ) Don't forget that there will be no smut or sexual descriptions while Persephone is still a minor aka anytime before 2016. ( 3 ) Another time jump will be coming up within the next chapter. As I stated before, I'm not trying to dwell too long in the past for them, but my brain always has a way of dragging things out. This may also be the last chapter of Seph as a minor... ◔‿◔

× Chapter Warnings!: language, brief sexual themes

SUMMER OF 2014

FRIDAY AUGUST 1st

NOAH

“Did you guys hear about Persephone?” 

Everyone stared at the dark haired girl - now known as Alexa - after she dropped down into the booth next to Folio, waiting for her to continue. 

“Ya know, after her party last weekend?” 

Christ, if this girl didn't just spit it out. Noah didn't want to hear about Seph, no, but he for some reason felt anxious about whatever was about to be revealed. It already wasn't sitting right with him. 

“Well, her parents apparently came home early because someone cut their security cameras back on to the live setting, and they saw all of it. The people, the alcohol, the huge mess she hadn't been able to get cleaned up yet. It was bad.” 

Alexa was nodding as she spoke, though she was now taking a long pause. They could sense she had more to say, so Noah made a face for her to continue, which she huffed and did. Folio’s new girl was cool and all, but damn did she have a flare for the dramatics. She also had this weird power of knowing everything about everyone. It was a little scary.

“A little birdy told me that Seph then had a masssivveee breakdown. I'm talking a full on freak out. She trashed the place even more, broke some priceless vases her mom had, got blood everywhere because she accidentally cut herself on the glass or some shit. Yeah, it was insane. Something legit right out of a movie.” 

Noah was fighting back the urge to spew his lunch everywhere. His stomach was churning, his insides turning every which way, and there was no end in sight for it. He was avoiding everyone's gaze, instead choosing to stare at a blank spot on the table while processing what Alexa was saying. 

“Who did you hear that from?” Nick spoke up, obviously suspicious of the story. He was the only one who really knew what happened between him, Seph, and Maisie that night, so of course he was going to dig deeper. 

“I shouldn't even be telling anyone this, but my brother was a paramedic at the scene. He said he thinks it was all stress induced, but some people are saying she was on drugs.” 

“No, she didn't do drugs.” Noah shook his head, refusing to believe that rumor. It was clear there was a lot that Seph needed to work on, but he wasn't going to let her name be dragged through the mud over something he knew wasn't true. 

“Drugs, no drugs. Doesn't matter. Her parents sent her away to some facility up state but they're telling people she's spending her senior year studying abroad in Sweden or somewhere posh sounding like that.” 

“That's fucking wild,” Folio sighed while shoving a couple of fries into his mouth. “Pretty bummed I only got to go to one of her parties.”

“Shut up, Folio,” Noah heavily exhaled, his thumb and pointer finger rubbing and digging at his eyes. 

There was a part of him that didn't believe it, or rather didn't want to believe it. But if Alexa's brother was there, then he had to admit that was a pretty reliable source. And after what he saw that night, it was all pretty plausible. 

Fucking hell. 

SPRING TO SUMMER 2015

PERSEPHONE 

Fingertips lightly traced the tiny delicate scars that now scattered across the top and bottom of her hands. There was a point months ago when she was worried about how they would heal, nervous as to whether or not they'd always look red and angry. Thankfully that wasn't the case, for they were small and white, barely noticeable unless you were close enough or already knew they were there. The soles of her feet carried identical scars, all because of the shards of glass she had stupidly walked over. 

“We've still never really talked about why you thought you couldn't seek help or guidance, Persephone.” 

Although she heard the older woman’s question, her eyes remained down on her hands. The same scars she had stared at for days upon days were way more interesting than whatever bullshit she was going to try prying from her today. Only sometimes did she give the woman a bit of information, just to tide her over so she could report to her parents that she was making ‘great progress’. 

“You really want to know?” 

“Well, yes, of course.” 

Slowly nodding, Seph took in a deep breath before dropping her hands into her lap and finally lifting her gaze to the older woman. She held her pen at the ready, fully prepped to scribe down anything of importance she may divulge. 

“I figured there was no point in ever telling people about what was happening inside of me. It was best kept inside, like everything else.” 

“Why did you feel that way?”

Seph shrugged, arms crossing over her chest in a defensive manner. Yep, the woman was right on it with that damned pen too. Of course she was going to take note of her stance. 

“Because people don't want to hear about the difficulties of life coming from someone like me.” 

“Someone like you…what does that mean?”

“You know what it means. You're in my father's pocket, after all.” 

Everyone at this ridiculously irritating place was. The only employee she had become slightly friendly with was a second shift nurse who let her use his phone, but of course for a price. Gross, not like that. He wanted money, just as everyone did. $100 for fifteen minutes. Can you believe that? 

The woman eyed her from across the room. She was waiting for her to continue because obviously her smart ass remark wasn't a sufficient answer. 

“Someone who has the means to do anything and everything. Never a need for anything. Someone who has all of their material wants satisfied. That kind of person.” 

Seph twisted her lips and looked out the wall of windows within the office. God, she couldn't wait to be out of this place. 

“People tend to forget that material items aren't everything, though. At the end of the day, they don't fucking mean anything. I can't talk to a purse. I can't voice my frustrations to a goddamn overpriced car.” 

This made her laugh, the sound of it echoing through the otherwise quiet office. Her therapist didn't seem to find it as funny, but that was okay. She wasn't trying to spit jokes at her anyway. It was all the truth. 

“You don't believe your parents could see that you were struggling? What about your friends?”

Ah, of course the woman was going to try to get all the answers she had been seeking from the beginning. A part of her was starting to think that she didn't really care about how Seph was, she just wanted to know all the gritty and secret details of a man’s family who basically owned her. 

“I didn't have friends, not really. Well…I had one, but he was a new friend. He wasn't ready to learn all of my inner workings.” 

Persephone could tell the woman wanted to dive into this ‘he’, but she wasn't going to give her the opportunity. Noah was not going to become a pawn in her sessions that could be used against her. 

“And my parents were never around, so no, they didn't see a damn thing. It took it literally blowing up in their faces for them to notice.” 

That was enough talking for today. Seph was mentally tired of this gymnastics routine she was forced to partake in multiple times a week, and now all she wanted to do was get the hell out of there. Both the office and the facility as a whole. Though mainly the former right then because it was nearing the time for her to be out a hundred bucks. 

Once she was given the ‘okay’ to call it a day, she couldn't have scurried out fast enough. And like perfect clockwork, Ben was waiting outside of her room, ready to collect. They didn't say anything to each other as he slyly slipped his phone to her, then carried on down the hall until he would circle back fifteen minutes later. 

Seph hid within her bathroom, her body uncomfortably seated within the empty bathtub with the curtain drawn. She didn't know why this is where she felt safest making calls, but it's the one and only place she had done it since her first month there. 

One ring. 

Two rings. 

Three rings.

On the fourth, the call connected and she was able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Pom,” he answered without missing a beat, his smile easily heard in his tone. 

“Hey, peach,” she softly spoke, immediately feeling more like herself as soon as she was in friendly company. 

“Did you make all the doctors happy today?” 

Seph snorted out a laugh, rolling her eyes to herself. “Well, I didn't threaten any of them, if that's what you mean.”

“Ah, so progress! That warms my heart.” 

“I think they're going to let me come home soon. Therapist number two was really digging in. But how's things there?”

“If you want to ask about him, then you can.” 

The smile she wore slowly began to fade, her eyes fixated on a random spot of her sweatpants that she had started picking at. 

“No…I mean…is he okay? I'm not going to come home to him having lost a leg or something, right?” 

Nick laughed, and she just knew he was shaking his head. “I can say with absolute certainty that all of his limbs are still intact. A one legged front man would be pretty badass though, yeah?” 

As much as Seph wanted to get lost in thoughts of Noah, she couldn't bring herself to do so right then. She had to save that for those particularly hard moments while she was locked away. 

“Did you tell her?” 

A female voice in the background broke through, followed by a hushed response from Nick that she couldn't make out. There was some shuffling on the other side, then he was heavily sighing before speaking up again. 

“Shit, Seph, I hate to do this…but I don't want you to come home and be blindsided.” 

“You're really freaking me out right now.” 

“Alexa heard that your dad…yeah! I'm getting to it!” Again Nick huffed, and this whole thing being drawn out was literally going to cause her heart to beat out of her chest. 

“She heard that your dad is trying to press charges against Maisie…for the video of you and Noah. Some shit about child pornography, I don't know. Apparently she sent it to her brother, so that's not only possessing, but also distributing.” 

“What the actual fuck, Nick?!” Seph quickly covered her mouth with her hand to muffle her outburst, which allowed her a moment to take a deep breath and count to ten. 

“No…how? How is he going to do that when nothing happened in the video? It was just us kissing and his shirt coming off. Not mine!” 

“I'm not a lawyer, Seph, I don't know. That's just what Alexa heard, so it could hold zero weight.” 

“Does Noah know?” 

“Yeah…apparently your dad also paid him a visit…fuck, I wasn't supposed to tell you that.” 

More hushed voices rambled off in the background. The main one she could make out was from Alexa still, but a new one had been added that caught her off guard.

“Who the hell are you being so secretive with?” 

His voice came through loud and clear this time, so Seph assumed he had lowered the phone to play it off like he wasn't on it. Not very smart, Nick. Not smart at all. 

“Huh? No one. I was just gonna order a pizza.” 

“Nick, you're a terrible liar. What are you doing?”

Seph sunk down further in the bathtub, a hand holding her forehead in complete disbelief for what was happening. It was the first time she had heard Noah’s voice since she saw him last, and of course it had to be when she was talking to his best friend on the down low. 

“Pom? Who’s Pom?” 

NOAH

There was a brief moment of tug-of-war as he tried to wrestle the phone from Nick. Never had his best friend kept something from him, at least not to his knowledge, but especially not when he had been caught red handed. 

Finally, Nick gave in and released the device, allowing him to turn it around until he could clearly read the name plastered on the screen. 

“Pom? Who's Pom?” His brows furrowed in confusion, though he still lifted the phone up to his ear. There was no sound on the other end, except for the very faint hint of a breath being taken. Then, the line went dead, the call ending from the other side. 

Nick was staring at him with wide eyes and he could already see the explanation just waiting to escape him. 

“Dude…I'm sorry,” he began, hands holding out in a defensive stance. “Pom is Seph…ya know, like pomegranate? Persephone is a goddess who-”

“I know who Persephone is! I understand the reference, Nick!”

“Right, yeah. You know how she would always say 'you're a peach' to me? Well, she just started calling me peach one day and it stuck, so she became Pom and it was just this dumb thing to help her while she's away, and -”

“You've been talking to her this entire time?”

Nick paused, his body relaxing for a brief moment as he thought back to when their first conversation could've been. 

“Not the entire time…probably since last September?” 

Noah was really hoping Nick could feel the fire in his glare, because boy, was it intense. What the hell was he supposed to do with this information? Should he even be mad? It was honestly the fact that Nick kept it from him that really pissed him off. Why would he? Unless…Seph had asked for him to. 

“She doesn't want to talk to me.” It didn't take much for him to put it all together. Seph was complicated as all hell, but she could be predictable at times too. 

“No, she does. She does, okay? She hasn't straight up told me why she won't, but my guess is that she's embarrassed. I don't know! I'm not an expert on teenage girls!” 

“You two are just best friends now or something?” 

Nick heavily exhaled, his arms dropping down to his sides in defeat. A silence settled between them, one that was just long enough for each of them to gather their thoughts. Or, at least try to. 

“Dude…come on.” Nick shook his head slowly at Noah, a look of disbelief beginning to move across his features. “Don't make me seem like an asshole because I was trying to be there for her.”

That's exactly how Noah saw it, though. Although he wouldn't always have this opinion on the matter, it's how he felt currently. He wanted to be the one there for Seph. He wanted to help her through whatever it was she was struggling with. She wouldn't let him be that person, though, and that's what really stung. 

Fuck, why was he letting a girl he had been friends with for a month plague his mind like this? 

“It's whatever, man. I'll just see her when she gets out, I guess.” 

Noah didn't want this to become a huge conflict between him and Nick. As easy as it would've been for him to argue his point right then, it wasn't worth the headache. Nick was his best friend, and had been for years, while Seph was only just a girl he had developed an infatuation with. 

PERSEPHONE 

“I know it's bad timing, dear, but your father and I expected you to be home next week.”

On and on her mother went during the drive home, all while Seph spent the duration staring out the window. Her fingers were itching to get a hold of her phone but the device had yet to be given back to her - of course. Honestly, she would be surprised if her parents let her have it back at all. 

But at least it seemed like the snow queen was over the disastrous ending that was her beloved vases. 

“But, we’ll have a nice dinner as a family tonight, then he and I will be back Sunday evening.” 

Seph wanted to laugh at how ridiculous her mom sounded. When did they ever have nice dinners together? At least one, if not both, of her parents always ended up wandering off to take business calls in the middle of meals, leaving her to eat alone. What was so nice about that? 

“Does that sound like a plan?” 

Forcing a slight smile, she finally looked over to the older woman and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good to me.” 

Although Seph could tell that her mother was trying, she was curious to know how much of it was genuine. They had never had a strong relationship to begin with, but that was expected given how her parents chose to put their careers ahead of their daughter. Seph used to be sad about it, though she stopped caring as much the older she got. Them not being around sure as hell didn't stop them from putting the pressure on whenever possible. 

× × ×

“No, the doctors said her medications may make her…unlike herself for a bit.” The woman spoke in a murmur to her father upon their arrival home, as if Seph couldn't hear them. 

“A bit? She's been on them for nearly a year now. How much time does it take?” 

“However much it does, Chris. I don't know.” Her mother retorted, the annoyance evident in her tone. 

Seph didn't hear much more because she had made it to the top of the staircase, now aiming straight for her bedroom. She just wanted to be alone for the first time in forever. No worries of nurses and doctors barging in, or the occasional fellow patient that tried to make friends with her. 

There was a sudden halt in her steps when she entered her room. It definitely wasn't how she had left it aka in an utter mess. No, it was thoroughly cleaned now. Nothing out of place. Just as it usually was before things began to truly go downhill for her. Shaking her head to herself, Seph pushed her suitcase off to the side to tend to later, her gaze glancing over to her desk. Lying on top were multiple college applications, as well as letters from others she had applied to before leaving. Columbia, Brown, Dartmouth - ‘her’ top choices. Not really. Those were actually choices that belonged to her parents. 

With furrowed brows, Seph carefully shifted the papers around. Her lips moved as she quietly skimmed over the gist of each letter, her anger bubbling with every word. All the letters claimed acceptance for this year’s fall semester. 

“What the fuck?” She muttered to herself just before she abruptly pulled her hand from the pages. She couldn't handle this right now. The last thing she wanted to think about was what her father had been up to while she was gone. Paying off universities? That was a new low for even him. No way in hell would they have willingly taken her after everything, but Seph was sure their minds were changed as soon as her dad made a hefty donation. How many libraries or community centers now had their name plastered across them? 

“Oh…you've already seen the letters.”

Seph lifted her head to see her mother standing in her doorway, a slight uneasiness to her. 

“Well, they are on my desk. Seems like someone wanted me to see them.” 

Marilyn, the snow queen in question, took in a deep breath and heavily exhaled while crossing the threshold inside. She immediately approached where Seph stood, her own hands frantically shuffling the papers together and then tucking them beneath her arm. 

“No need to worry about those right now.” Reaching back with her free hand, the older woman then retrieved something before extending it out to Seph. It was her phone. 

“I figured you could use a bit of normalcy again.” 

Hesitantly, Seph accepted the device, slowly nodding. 

“Thanks,” she lowly spoke. 

This whole demeanor that her mom was portraying was very out of the ordinary for her. She couldn't help but to be slightly taken back by it. Maybe it made it appear as if she wasn't actually thankful, although she was. Who could blame her for being suspicious, though? After what had happened, this was the last sort of interaction she was expecting. 

“Dinner will be at six, okay?” 

Seph watched as her mother walked away, giving her a small nod in understanding. Once she was gone, she followed the same path she took, only to quietly close the bedroom door to allow her some privacy. There was then a need within her to get her phone turned on. She rushed over to the side of her bed where she typically had her charger plugged in, relieved to see that the cord remained. After inserting it into her phone, she waited a few seconds, then the Apple logo popped up. 

A sigh of relief left her, her body lowering down to sit on the edge of her bed. As the device powered on for the first time in who knows how long, notification after notification began to flash across the screen. 

grl are you okay?? 

i'm worried! 

Alexa 

Heard about your incident. Dramatic. 

Seriously? Call me. 

Stop being a baby. I'm sure daddy made sure you have your phone. 

Sweden? That's laughable. You hate fish. You'd never survive on the cuisine. 

No one believes that's where you are, by the way. 

Your dad is fucking insane!!!! 

Maisie 

babe come on talk to me. 

i’m not mad about you and emo guy. 

maisie showed me the video but it's fuckin dumb. 

lol can't believe you were gonna fuck him tho. 

sweden?? and you didn't tell me?? wtf

Mason 

OMG miss you! 

damn it's gonna suck to not have any infamous Seph parties senior year! 

Aw hope you have so much fun abroad! I loved it when I went! 

u are not gunna believe wat i heard about u

Random “friends”

I miss you. 

Noah 

It was a horrible idea for her to read any of these, but she couldn't bring herself to look away. There were a lot that she deleted, most being from unknown numbers or people she hadn't even spoken to since way before all of this. Everyone obviously just wanted some entail and they thought going directly to the source would work out for them. Oh how wrong they were. 

The last message she read was what really got to her, though. She assumed Noah had known the truth of what happened pretty early on, meaning that his text from only a couple of months ago was honest. That's what she was telling herself, at least. Every other text thread was deleted except for that one, then she started a new one. 

‘Home. Need to see a friendly face.’ 

Seph stared down at the screen as if Nick would have already replied when she knew he was busier than usual these days. The band, working at a tattoo shop, it all left very little downtime for him and the others. But much to her surprise, the little gray bubble appeared, indicating that he was typing. 

‘FUCK YEA DUDE!!’

'Come by the shop!’

'I'm here working on some pieces until probably 9’

It was impossible for her to explain how at ease she now felt knowing someone was excited about her being back, especially when that someone happened to be one of the only people she considered a friend. Getting close to Nick had come out of left field; definitely not done on purpose since she always felt like he only tolerated her for Noah. Who ever would've thought they would've gotten as close as they had while hours away? It was all strictly platonic, though. She looked at Nick as more of a brother type, and she knew he viewed her the same. Well…as a sister, but same sentiment. 

After dinner, she would slip away and somehow make it to the tattoo shop Nick had mentioned a few times. Maybe she’d get lucky and her parents would do their usual routine of acting as if she wasn't even there, just so she wouldn't have to awkwardly crawl out of her window. Plus, that would also mean they wouldn't realize she had left. Perfect. All she had to do was make it through dinner…

Well, that wasn't currently going so well. 

Her favorite meal had been cooked for the night, though her appetite was nearly nonexistent these days. Was it the mental issues? Or the meds she downed to help fix said issues? Either way, a few bites was all she could stomach. 

“Not hungry?” Her mother spoke up first, her lips showcasing a sympathetic smile. 

Okay, seriously. What the hell had gotten into her? 

“No…not really. Sorry.” 

Marilyn shook her head in a way to silently tell Seph that it was okay, but before she could verbally respond, her father was beating her to it. 

“You need to eat,” he demanded as he eyed her from across the table. “It'll help you feel better to have decent food again.” 

Seph stared at the older man, inwardly biting her tongue to prevent herself from saying anything too rash. No need to cause an argument on her first night back. 

“I don't think I'll be feeling too great when this doesn't sit well and ends up in the toilet.” 

A heavy sigh came from her mother, who then covered the sound by taking a long swallow from her glass of wine. Ugh, she should've snuck a few sips for herself before dinner began. 

Although Seph could tell that there was something needing to be said that was right on the tip of her father’s tongue, he remained silent. The daggers he glared at her were loud enough. Before anything could be set off, she carefully slid her chair back and stood up. 

“Where are you going?” Her father sternly questioned as she walked by with her sights set on the front door. Seph snagged a set of car keys and clutched them tight within her palm, fully prepared to make a run for it if she really needed to. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. 

“I just need some air.” 

There was a start of a protest from her parents, but she didn't linger long enough to hear whatever it was they had to say. She was already out the door and closing the distance between herself and her mom’s car. 

× × ×

It was a blessing that she knew downtown Richmond like the back of her hand or else she never would've found the tattoo shop tucked in along the congested street. There was a neon red ‘open' sign glowing in the window, but nothing beyond that really told you what the business was until you were right on top of it. Not too surprising to her that the guys would work somewhere low key. 

There was a faint jingle from the bell above the door as she entered the building, though she figured the bell was only for show because the music playing inside easily drowned it out. A girl with multiple piercings shining on her face sat behind the front desk, and the opening and closing of the door caused her to look up at who could possibly be coming in near closing time. 

“Hey…” she hesitantly spoke, though a polite smile was visible on her lips. “I'm looking for Nick.” 

Piercing girl glanced over her shoulder and leaned back in her seat a bit as if trying to see something just out of reach. 

“Do you have an appointment?” She questioned after returning to her resting position. “We aren't taking walk ins right now.” 

“Oh…no…I'm just a friend of his.” Seph almost blurted out that she wasn't even old enough to get a tattoo, though she figured that surely would've gotten her kicked out. “He told me to stop by.” 

“Seph?”

A familiar voice broke through before either of the girls could exchange any more words. She lifted her eyes to see Nick stepping through a door that led to the back, both of them sharing near identical smiles at the sight of each other. Seph slid around the counter and rushed over with quick steps, her arms immediately being thrown around his neck to embrace in a close hug. 

“Peach!” She excitedly exclaimed while her arms squeezed him so tight that she was convinced she was cutting off his ability to breathe. Never had she and Nick really even touched, yet here they were, embracing each other as people within the tattoo shop awkwardly sideyed them. 

“Your hair!” Seph gasped as she pulled back to look at him, her hands now grasping his shoulders. Nick mimicked her stance, laughing as her eyes scanned all around his face and the new tattoos he adorned. “You cut it!” 

“People tend to get haircuts every now and then,” he continued to laugh. 

“Yeah, but it's kinda all mullet-y now! I love it!” It didn't matter that he had a beanie on in the middle of the summer. She could still see those new layers. 

“If you think I look different, then just wait until you see Noah. Dude has grown at least two - shit, sorry, Pom.”

The smile she wore began to fade at his mention of Noah, her grip on his shoulders loosening. She didn't like this reaction her mind and body immediately had to his mere existence being brought up. Hopefully this glitch in her system would work itself out. 

“It's all good,” she shook her head. “I'm gonna have to face the music at some point, yeah?”

Nick gave her a sympathetic smile to accompany the gentle squeeze of her shoulder. He then nodded his head towards the door he had come from, motioning for her to follow. 

“Come on, let's get away from all this fucking noise.” 

Ushering her into the back room, Seph was greeted by what appeared to be a break area; a table with a couple of chairs, a fridge, couch, and all the other workings for people to be comfortable when working long shifts. In front of the couch there was a coffee table with different sketches strewn about it. She assumed this is what Nick had been working on. 

“I had no idea you were doing tattoo stuff,” she muttered softly while approaching the coffee table to gaze down upon the drawings. 

“You never asked.” Nick shrugged, his body bent to peer into the fridge towards the back of the room. “I mean, I never really asked things about you either, so I guess we're both assholes.” 

Seph glanced back at him, extending a sheepish smile. “Sorry. I've had a lot going on up here.” She motioned to her head before lowering down onto the couch. 

Nick was following suit not too long after, his hands holding out a bottle of water for her while the other clasped around a beer for himself. 

“Hey!” She laughed, eying the other beverage. “Not fair!” 

“What? You're not old enough to drink.” Nick chuckled while taking a swallow from the can. 

“Neither are you!” 

Although her eyes narrowed at him in a glare, she was only joking. She released a dramatic sigh, but then took the offered water and twisted the cap off. “You better be glad I shouldn’t drink with my meds.” 

After taking a couple of sips from her water, she carefully placed the bottle on the coffee table and then tugged the sketchbook into her lap. She began to slowly flip through the pages, though she hadn't even bothered to ask if she could. Oops. 

“How is…all of that going, by the way?” 

“Fine, I guess,” she gave a single shoulder shrug. “Everything is amazing and perfect.” 

Nick’s eye roll was so pronounced that she swore she heard his eyes somersaulting in his skull. He then sighed, his face telling her that he was not convinced. 

“You're full of shit,” he smiled despite the attempt at a serious conversation that she was trying to shoot down. 

Seph laughed, nodding. “Yeah, I am.” 

With a pause in her page flipping, she glanced over to him, seeing that he was staring directly at her. There was no way he was going to drop the topic. As annoying as it was, Seph was a little…touched that Nick cared enough to actually ask. Not even her parents had. 

“I don't really like them,” she honestly revealed. “They always make my brain feel like it's in a fog. I'm mega tired, nothing tastes good, and all I want to do is rot in my bed.” 

A finger then tapped the page she had been staring down at, the drawing that of some sort of creature with horns. She had no idea what it was, but she liked it. “This is cool,” she complimented with hopes to change the subject. 

Seph knew she should've known better than to even attempt it. 

“Hey,” Nick tried to gain her attention, which she eventually gave him by lifting her head and meeting his gaze. “You know you can talk to me, right? Noah, too…he’d probably sing about it all night if you did.” 

Offering a faint smile, she nodded. “I know…it's just hard talking to anyone about things, but especially Noah. Opening up has never been easy for me.” 

As easy as it would've been for her to elaborate on this, she didn't. She wasn't trying to make this a pity party for herself. Coming by to see Nick was actually supposed to be the exact opposite of that. 

Nick leaned forward a bit, his elbows resting on his knees and both hands grasping the beer can. “Talk. To. Him.” He further explained, this being his final attempt at trying to get her to do what they all knew needed to be done. 

“You'll end up regretting it if you don't.” 

× × ×

It was that conversation that landed her in the guys’ shared home the following night. Again she had left her own house without explanation; fully ignoring her parents on her way out. They seemed to be letting her do whatever for now, though she wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to push her luck. Whatever. They should just be glad she had finally ditched the sweatpants for a pair of shorts and slapped some makeup on her face for the first time in a year. It was minimal, but at least she cared enough about something to try. 

Nick had claimed it was only going to be a small get together, but the ten to fifteen people mingling around told her otherwise. No, it wasn't anywhere near the level her parties had been, but it was still a bit much for someone in her current mental state. Seph was determined to power through, though. She was desperate to return to her old self. At least in some aspects. 

“Oh my god! Sephy!” 

There was barely time to react before Alexa was rushing to her, forcing her into a tight hug that she had not been prepared for. She still smiled, choking out a soft laugh as her hands hesitantly patted the girl's back. 

“I thought I heard Nick say something about you being back! Oh my god! This is amazing! How are you?!” 

While her and Alexa had been kinda friends before this whole thing, she wouldn't have considered them to be close. They were acquaintances at best, though she was assuming things were going well between her and Folio if she was still hanging with the guys. Guess that meant she would have to stay on her good side as well. 

“I'm good! Yeah, things are going good.” Seph nodded once they had broken from the hug. She felt as if she was going to be telling this lie a lot going forward. 

Alexa gasped and held onto her arm, her eyes going wide as she looked back to the room she had just emerged from. “Have you seen Noah yet?! He's going to be so fucking stoked to see you. I know it.” 

Opening her mouth to speak, she wasn't even able to get a word out before Alexa was pulling her along to the next room. Her voice called out for Noah, repeating his name a couple of times. 

“Look who's finally back from Sweden!” Alexa gently bumped her with her shoulder as she laughed, and when she glanced over to the girl, she winked at her. Huh, okay. Was everyone just going to be in on this joke? 

“Sweden?” A guy with long dark hair that was pulled half back she didn't recognize spoke up, a bright smile taking up his face. “Hallå!”

Alexa laughed again as she reached out to his shoulder, shaking her head. 

As much as Seph wanted to figure out what that was about, she was now far too lost in the other guy that stood in front of her. Noah. Her eyes stuck to him, unable to look away, though she didn't want to. He had definitely filled out some within the last year and his hair was much longer, but it suited him. 

Also, when the hell had he gotten a neck tattoo? 

NOAH

Persephone fucking Hill. 

In his house. 

Staring up at him with awe. 

Fuck. 

What the hell was he supposed to say? Good to see you? Wow, so glad you're free? Nice tits?

Okay, definitely not the last one. That was a bad thought for him to even have. But still, nothing felt like it would be the right thing to say after how things ended. 

“Long time no see,” he then blurted out. 

Goddammit. That was lame as fuck. 

Noah could sense both Jolly and Alexa picking up on the awkward vibes because they took simultaneous swallows of their drinks and then slipped away in a nonchalant manner. 

“I probably wouldn't have even recognized you if Alexa hadn't dragged me over here.” Seph chuckled, and he knew immediately that she was just as nervous as he was. That was a bit of a relief. 

He wanted to tell her that that was okay because he would've spotted her within seconds. The words didn't leave his mouth, though. Actually, no words did. Noah continued to stare at her, both of them holding the other’s gaze. 

No, he couldn't get caught up in Seph again. It wasn't good for him. It wasn't good for her. Neither of them were what the other needed. That's what he had been telling himself for a year as he tried to get over her. Noah wished he could say that it had worked. 

“Noah…can we skip the weirdness of acting like we don't know each other? I've had a lot of time to think about how this would go, y’know, when we saw each other again, and every interaction I imagined was awkward…to say the least.” 

Seph laughed as a hand lifted to tuck her hair behind her ear, her eyes tearing from his for a brief moment. He inwardly frowned when this happened, already missing the sight of her honey colored irises. But when she didn't look back at him yet, he finally nodded and glanced around the kitchen. 

“Do you want a drink? I can fix you something.” Noah was already reaching for bottles before she could reply because of course he remembered her favorite mix: fruit punch and vodka. He found it revolting but he had a fond memory of her mouth dyed red one night when they sat in her backyard, and she was telling him some story he didn't remember all because of said red dye. 

“Sure…but hold the vodka.” She placed a hand on his wrist to stop him from untwisting the cap of the liquor, the small touch like fire on his skin. 

“I'm not really drinking at the moment.” 

It then dawned on him that Seph was probably on some medications she had been instructed not to mix alcohol with. He was tempted to tell her that it would be fine because he did it all the time, but this maybe wasn't the time. Seph was a big girl. She could make her own decisions. 

“Oh, yeah, that's cool. Just fruit punch it is then.” As he set the vodka bottle aside, he instead grabbed the juice and filled the cup half way before passing it her way. She gazed at him from over the rim while taking a sip, that sight alone making him weak in the knees. 

Get it the fuck together, Noah. 

“This is probably when I should tell you that I'm sorry…”

It seemed as if apologies at parties were starting to become their new norm. He couldn't say he was very fond of it. 

Noah took in a deep breath before swallowing from his own drink, his head shaking while lowering the cup. 

“You don't have to do that, Seph. Seriously. Ancient history.” 

He watched as she shifted awkwardly before leaning a hip into the kitchen island they stood behind. She looked basically the same, though maybe a few pounds lighter and her hair was longer, just as his was. Noah assumed the former had to do with the lack of decent food, and probably just a lack of appetite all together. He understood how it could be when starting medications. 

“I saw your text.” 

Noah froze, his mind racing to figure out what she was talking about. He then remembered the one message he had sent a couple of months ago when he had been up way too late and lost in his thoughts. It happened a lot but he usually had enough self control to not message her. That night, not so much. 

When he didn't say anything, she continued. 

“I missed you too.” 

That made him scoff, head shaking while taking another generous swallow of his drink. He looked off to the side as if interested in whatever his friends were doing, but he was actually trying to hold back his words. 

Glancing back to Seph, her brows were furrowed in confusion. 

Noah shrugged, fingers tapping against the side of his cup he held. “I need to talk to you about something.” 

With no other explanation, he placed a hand against her lower back while gently maneuvering her out of the kitchen and to the opposite side of the house where his room was. Noah could tell Seph was lost, which wasn't a shock. He wasn't exactly being very forthcoming right then. 

The door to his bedroom was quietly closed, then he was turning to look at her again. He expected her to be staring back at him, but she was actually slowly stepping around his room, studying the minimal items he had on the walls and on his desk. Clutter and knickknacks had never really been his thing. 

It was then that Noah realized this was the first time Seph had been in his room, or just where he lived in general. They were always somewhere less personal before, until the night of her party. 

“So, uh, your dad came and talked to me while you were gone.” 

He had no idea how to approach this topic, though he figured it was best to do it sooner rather than later. 

“I heard…” she murmured, her focus up on the framed images hanging on his wall. “That sounds like it was loads of fun.” 

Noah chuckled, a hand rubbing nervously at the back of his neck. “Not exactly the words I'd use.” 

“What did he want?” 

A few steps were taken so he stood at her side, his eyes down on her while hers remained elsewhere. There was an urge to reach out and touch the bare skin of her shoulder, brush her hair aside, but he resisted by shoving his free hand into his pocket. 

“He tossed out a lot of legal jargon, probably just to confuse me, but what I gathered is that he's thinking about pressing charges against Maisie. He also had a few choice words for me and our friendship.” 

Seph then looked at him, head tilted up at just the right angle for their eyes to meet. Her figure shifted and turned a bit, both of them facing each other. 

“I'm not going to let him press charges,” she exclaimed with a confidence that he hadn't been expecting. “Nothing happened in the video.” 

Was she not interested in the last bit he had tossed in? 

“He doesn't want us around each other.” 

This made her softly laugh, her eyes rolling. “Of course he doesn't.” 

“I'm not really su-”

“What do you think about that?” Seph cut him off, her eyebrow arched curiously. 

Noah stumbled over his words a bit since he hadn't really thought that in depth about it yet. He figured he needed to see how things were between them first. And now that he had…he still had no idea. 

“Do you want us to not be around each other?” She repeated her question with different wording, as if that would get an actual response out of him. 

“No…” he hesitantly replied, a slight smile appearing. 

“Then what he wants or has to say doesn't matter.” 

Again, Noah was struggling to find his words. Fuck. This was not going how he wanted it to. He was supposed to be agreeing with her dad, telling her that it was best for them to stay away from each other. But nope, he couldn't bring himself to say it. How could he when she was looking at him like that?

“I really did miss you.” 

Welp, that really cut his growing mood a bit. 

“It's actually funny that you say that since you didn't make any attempt to talk to me.” 

There was no way he could continue to bite his tongue on the matter when she just kept bringing it up…kind of. Inadvertently. 

“But you talked to Nick…how many times? Multiple times a week for nearly a year?” 

Seph bit down into her lower lip, her gaze dropping to the carpet in shame. Damn. Now he felt bad. 

No. He wouldn't let her get to him that easily. 

“I…I know it was shitty, okay? I didn't even mean to start talking to him. His Instagram was public so I was able to message him from a nurse’s account. I just wanted to check in…see how everyone was…but then talking to him helped keep my mind at ease when I really needed it.” 

Noah now did an eye roll of his own, his feet shuffling back a bit so he could place some distance between them. That sure as hell didn't explain why she hadn't talked to him. Only why she hadn't contacted him first. 

“Fuck, Noah. I was terrified to talk to you, is that what you want to hear? I didn't want to know how mad you were at me or find out what you thought about me after everything.” 

“Mad? I wasn't mad at you, Seph. I was worried! You kick me out, I don't hear from you, and then I find out from Alexa that you're gone?” 

A hand ran over his face, heavily exhaling. He definitely hadn't been prepared to have this conversation with her right then. 

“And what do you mean by what I thought of you? I always looked at you like the sun fucking shone out of your ass, so why would that have changed?” 

Seph was physically taken back by his statement. Her mouth fell open a bit, but then promptly closed. Head shaking, he could see the clench in her jaw. This told him that she was not happy. 

“No, you looked at me like I was this perfect unobtainable thing! You were just as blind to everything like my parents were because you couldn't fathom the fact that someone you saw as sunshine was falling apart bit by bit everyday!” 

It was Noah's turn to be taken back now. He stared straight at Seph, sporting a clenched jaw of his own that rivaled hers. 

“I didn't want you to think of me like that, Noah. And I know it's ass backwards and doesn't make sense. Don't want you to see me as perfect…don't want you to see me breaking down…” Seph shook her head to herself, her hands moving about as she spoke at a rather fast pace. 

“Believe me, I'm confused too.” 

“You've got to stop caring so much about what other people think. If someone judges you for breaking under pressure, then you call them an ‘asshole’ and keep it moving!” 

Seph had her eyes cast to the ceiling, her lips folded in for only a brief moment. He was waiting for her to say something - anything - that let him know she understood. 

“It's not that simple.”

Nope. Not the response he was hoping to hear. 

“But it is that simple, Seph. Why the fuck do you care about what other people have to say? Myself included.” 

“I don't…” she stammered over the two words, and Noah could tell that even she wasn't convinced. 

“Why, Seph?” He found himself taking a step closer to where she stood, his voice a little softer now than it previously had been. It hadn't been his intention to get so worked up, especially not when this was the first time they were seeing each other in what felt like forever. 

Noah could see the tears welling in her eyes. He knew that she knew why. It was only a matter of whether or not she was going to reveal this to him. He wasn't going to push her, but he was well aware of how this all needed to go. Seph needed to admit it to herself. 

“Because…I only feel worth anything when I know people like me.” 

PERSEPHONE 

And there it was. The truth Noah had been trying to tug out of her since the beginning of it all. It felt juvenile to say, admitting that people’s thoughts and opinions of her was what made her feel good about herself. Did that mean Maisie had been right about her? Was she only interested in Noah because of how he used to once look at her as if she was perfect? 

No, she wouldn't let that be true. He was worth so much more than that to her, even if she had a horrible way of showing it. 

“Fuck other people, Seph. They don't mean anything. Only the people who you feel like yourself around are the ones who matter.” 

“And what if they see parts of me they don't like? Hm? What happens then? What happens when you realize I'm just some fucked up girl who isn't worth the hassle?” 

Seph couldn't stop her voice from breaking as she laid it all out for him. If Noah wanted honesty, then that's what she would give him. And if he happened to run, well, at least she could say 'I told ya so’. 

Instead of using his words, Noah was quick to cross the remainder of the bedroom to where she stood. His large hands enveloped her face and soon he was pulling her up into a kiss that made her heart race and her breathing halt, all at the same time. She was unable to stop herself from leaning into him, eager to have as much of him pressed against her as she could. It was just like they were back in her room a year ago when she craved to truly feel him. Definitely didn't take much for that need to return full force. 

Seph didn't dare break from the kiss as her hand came up to grasp the back of his neck, her fingers briefly tangling into the long strands of his hair. She actually somehow managed to deepen the kiss even as Noah progressed forward, both of them taking in sync steps back to where his bed was. 

As soon as she was lying back against his perfectly made bed, Noah followed right behind her. She pulled him down close against her, his lithe frame settling between her legs, knees pressed firm into his hips. One hand held himself up while the other drifted beneath the shirt she wore, just to feel the warmth of her skin against his own. Seph broke from his lips for mere seconds so she could rid him of his own shirt, which Noah took as an invitation to do the same. It had definitely been one. 

“Noah…” she murmured into his mouth as they again collided in a heated kiss. As much as she didn't want to, she managed to pull back a bit, just as his fingers began to work on the button of her shorts. Though when she stopped, his hands also paused. Seph licked over her lips as she gazed up at him. She was then thankful for her flushed cheeks because that meant the blush creeping up was well hidden. 

“I've never done this before…” she admitted, despite knowing that he probably already knew this from past conversations. As well as Maisie outing her during all of that commotion. There was just a weird urge she had to properly disclose the information to him. 

Noah released her shorts, though his hands shifted to glide along her hips and up her sides in a soothing manner. “Are you sure?” 

There was a pause and then he was shaking his head, laughing in slight embarrassment at himself. “Not ‘are you sure' you haven't done this because I think you'd know if you had. But are you sure that you want to…right now…with me?” 

Of course she couldn't help but to laugh along with him, her nose scrunching at how flustered he had just made himself. Noah’s cheeks were now red with a blush and it was a sight she was hoping to always remember. 

Seph sunk her teeth into her lower lip after their laughter had died down. She didn't want to hesitate with her response because she didn't want Noah to think she was second guessing anything. Maybe the timing wasn't ideal, considering there was a get together happening on the other side of the wall, but Seph wasn't the kind of girl who needed planning and rose petals. The social construct of virginity wasn't that deep to her, not like how a lot of people made it out to be.  All that she cared about was trusting the other person and actually caring about them…much like how she cared for Noah. 

“Yes,” she finally spoke with confidence, just so Noah knew she wasn't second guessing anything that had to do with him. 

Noah then took in a deep breath, giving her a nod of his own before his head angled down and his lips trailed slowly along her neck. Oh, so now he was going to take his time? 

“Just one thing…” she breathlessly mumbled after her eyes had fluttered closed and she was doing all she could to focus on the new sensations sweeping through her. 

“Anything,” Noah continued to kiss and bite at the sensitive skin of her neck, his fingers returning to the button of her shorts that he managed to swiftly pop free. 

Seph softly laughed, her hand lifting to cradle the side of his head in a way that made him pull back just enough to gaze down at her. 

“Can you lock the door?” 

CHAPTER FOUR JUMP

× End of chapter notes!: One guess as to where my eyes started crossing because I was beyond tired but needed to get this completed at a decent stopping point. :') ANYWAYYY, not me pausing halfway through and thinking, "is this about to become a Ruffilo fic?" A story really does write itself sometimes but NO. I had to refrain. But will there more little Peach and Pom moments? Yes. ♥‿♥

If anyone can tell me what the preferred chapter length is among the masses, then that would be greaaat. Stop me from my wild ramblings. Please. Unless you guys are into it and then I guess I'll just keep on truckin'.

[ao3feed-narlie]

Lost Love Is Sweeter When Its Found

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/hJF1cbj by RoyalHeartHuff “Nick sat in his normal booth in the tiny cafe on the high street. The warmth from his mug of tea seeps up through his hands and into his veins. He looked up out of habit when the bell above the door jingled, just in time to see Tori Spring walking up to the counter. The door had almost closed behind her when a hand shot out and caught it. The late August breeze blew behind the man, making his curls almost sentient in the way they floated around his face. The sip of tea Nick had just taken burned his throat as he choked on it, his eyes widening as recognition registered. “There is no way,” Nick thought.” 10 years after the fallout of their break up, Nick and Charlie find themselves in the same city once again. Words: 4667, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Heartstopper (TV), Heartstopper (Webcomic) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper), Victoria "Tori" Spring, Michael Holden (Solitaire), Tao Xu, Elle Argent Relationships: Nicholas "Nick" Nelson/Charles "Charlie" Spring, Charles "Charlie" Spring (Heartstopper) & Original Male Character(s) Additional Tags: Abusive Relationships, not Nick and Charlie!, Break Up and Make Up, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, maybe? Who are we kidding its me, There will be smut later on, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, once I figure out what I'm doing with this fic read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/hJF1cbj

[ao3feed-destiel-02]

Pie and Honey

Pie and Honey https://ift.tt/vhWHOfI by Inkblooded_Witch Every year, courting season follows a strict schedule. Castiel might appreciate the routine, but he’s hardly looking forward to facing it. Now at an age where it’s obligatory to get at least one year’s attendance under his belt, Castiel and his fraternal twin brother embark on their first series of courting season events. They span an entire month in the spring, dominating the weekends. Starting with three days allowing Alphas to showcase themselves, followed by two days that allow Omegas to do the same. The third and final weekend culminates in a single event: the Chase. Castiel intends to just go through the motions, but gets swept up in it all. That’s the point of all this after all, to tap into their instincts, forge some sort of connection before the Alphas are turned loose on them. Something made abundantly clear when his offerings for their Bakeoff are blatantly vandalized. As dangerously inept he can be in the kitchen, despite all efforts to the contrary, at least there’s one thing he can get right. Pies are nothing special, why he made cobblers the first time, but at least he won’t have an empty booth to offer them. Surely someone won’t mind painfully mundane apple pies, right? Words: 52258, Chapters: 6/6, Language: English Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Relationships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Gabriel, Chuck/Becky, mentioned past Dean/Others - Relationship Additional Tags: Omegaverse, Chase AU, Slice of Life AU, Modern AU, Alpha! Dean, Omega! Castiel, Alpha! Sam, Omega! Gabriel, courting season, Intersex Male Omegas, Intersex Female Alphas, D/s elements, Bullying, alcohol consumption, Fraternal Twins Castiel and Gabriel, Fluff, Smut, Dean has a pie fetish, Bottom Cas Big Bang, BCBB2023/2024 via AO3 works tagged 'Castiel/Dean Winchester' https://ift.tt/v3DIBf2 August 10, 2024 at 09:39AM

[woodenisms]

“ i've lived a lifetime of selfishness, cowardice, and dishonesty... and only i can cure that. not MAGIC. not science. just me. ”

independent roleplay based on AUGUST W. BOOTH from abc's once upon a time.

est. 2012, re=established 2024

formerly the-w-stands-for-wayne and xbelixver

rules and character bio below (for now)

RULES

o1. mun (aka bex) is 32yo, and does not feel comfortable interacting with underage persons. therefore, for my comfort, this is a 21+ blog.

o2. this is a medium to low-activity blog. i work 40 hours or more a week & need to focus my energy on that. sometimes i will be able to invest more time here, but that will not be the norm.

o3. at some point this will likely become a more private blog that will interact almost exclusively with mutuals. for now, anyone is welcome to send memes or asks, respond to open starters or request starters.

o4. i am not really a fan of writing smut, it makes me uncomfortable. i am an adult & i can handle it on my dash but it is not for me. that being said, nsfw content could still end up on this blog & i will be sure to tag it as such. i will be doing my best to tag any & all problematic content that may appear, using a tag styled ' __ cw". if there is anything you need tagged, please feel free to shoot me a message to let me know. this is my space, but that doesn't mean i can't try to make it safe for you guys too.

o5. all relationships are in alternate universes, unless otherwise stated, or in the case of characters mine have a history within their bio. like all human beings, i have my own personal favourite ships. do NOT feel obligated, because you roleplay as the corresponding character, to write our characters as having any kind of romantic relationship. i won't force ships on you, please do the same.

BIOGRAPHY

It all started when a lonely carpenter made himself a son out of wood…

Animated by the enchanted wood he was made from, Pinocchio stayed wood until the day he risked himself to save his father. The Blue Fairy rewarded this act of selflessness by making him a real boy, warning him that the magic would only last if he remained “brave, truthful, and unselfish.” But that would be harder than expected.

When the Evil Queen’s curse came around, Geppetto was tasked with building a magical wardrobe that would send baby Emma to the world with no magic. There was enough magic for two, so the carpenter also sent his son, telling the boy to take care of Emma. This new world was riddled with temptations, and a seven-year-old boy is only capable of so much willpower. He left Emma in foster care, where he thought she might be taken better care of, and went out into this world on his own.

“August”, as he was now called, spent the next 28 years becoming self-sufficient and self taught. He traveled the world, experiencing its many temptations, its many pleasures. He cherished his freedom - perhaps a bit too much. Aside from the occasional shadowing to make sure she was still on the right path, he ultimately failed his promise to watch over Emma until she could break the curse. And he received a painful reminder of that promise the day the saviour found her way to Storybrooke. His magic had worn off, he was slowly turning back into a puppet.

In a world with no magic, wood was just wood. It couldn’t move or talk, it just laid there.

Afraid for his life, and after failing to find some small bit of magic that could save him, August hopped on his motorcycle and made his way to Storybrooke, hoping beyond all hope that breaking the curse would save him. But with his fate resting on Emma’s shoulders, it would be no easy task. ****this version of august does not end up being turned into a little boy again. in the main verse, he gets turned back into august– with some memory loss.

[unculturedswine-101]

Once Upon a Time...In Hollywood

A/N: I’m combining two of my favourite things: Christoph and Once upon a time in Hollywood, hope you enjoy, and there is more to come!

I woke up on the jet to Christoph with his glasses on reading a book. I arched my back, stretched my arms out and gave out a big yawn, as I looked out the window; it seemed we were going to land soon. “Good morning y/n” Christoph said, not looking away from his book, “mmmm, morning, are we almost there?” Before he could respond the captain came onto the speaker “Good afternoon, this your captain speaking, we are about to land in sunny Los Angeles, please keep your seatbelts fastened as we prepare to land”. Christoph puts away his book into his carry-on as I get out my compact checking my makeup, I’m assuming there’s going to be a lot of press since Christoph and I just got engaged so I want to look my best. We finally skid on the runway as Christoph grabs my hand giving my knuckles a kiss as he smiles at me, reassuring me that everything will be ok. The flight attendant grabs our things as another opens the door to the stairs “Mr. Waltz welcome to Los Angeles”. I take a deep breath as Christoph and I exit the plane, hands still grasping one another as we descend the stairs with no surprise: a surplus of flashing cameras. We both waved at the cameras and each answered interview questions from reporters “How does it feel to be engaged to the most famous director in Hollywood?” I smiled at the question looking down at the beautiful engagement ring Christoph had given me “amazing!” I laughed as did all the reporters. “It’s rumored that y/n is to star in your new movie alongside Sharon Tate, is that correct?” “Yes, it’s true we start filming in October” Christoph replied. He looked over at me seeing how tired I looked so he quickly grabbed my hand and with the help of some security pushed through the crowd to where Christoph’s red convertible was, while some people plunked all our luggage into the back seat. “Ready to go home?” Christoph asked, putting his gold-rimmed sunglasses on, “Absolutely” he laughed and stretched his arm around my seat as I went to rest my head on his shoulder. He turned on the ignition and we sped away, wind flowing through my y/h/c hair as I soaked up the Californian sun on my face. I leaned forward and decided to turn on the radio.

                                     🎵Los Angeles weather!🎵

“Warm tonight around 59, mostly sunny tomorrow with a high near 68!”

Christoph took in a deep breath “That’s what I love about this Los Angeles air, it fills you with warmth and relaxation” you only nodded grabbing a packet of Marlboro cigarettes putting one in your mouth I offered one to Christoph and he nodded as I simply placed one between his lips as I searched for my lighter. I first lifted it to his then to mine, taking a deep plume of smoke and letting it curl in my mouth. “God, I do not miss the chilly Austrian weather” I leaned back in the red leather taking another drag of my cigarette. “Yes, I do have to admit when I arrived, from Austria to LA for the first time..” he laughs to himself, “I never wanted to leave!”. I quickly sat up from my seat taking my cigarette from my mouth “Oh my god is that your- OUR house” Christoph looked over at me admiring how exited I looked admiring the house “you like it?” You tapped your cigarette ashes on the road “I love it”!

[dre6ming]

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter 17 - this is when the feeling sinks in

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Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/ actress fem reader

Warning: age gap (10 years), smut (18+ mature content), cursing, mentions of death, grief, alcohol, fluff

Plot: the ending to a beautiful love story, the next few months in (y/n) and Austin’s life, navigating everything.

Word count: ~10.000

Disclaimer: this is the last chapter of the series, BUT be not afraid, there will be an epilogue to tie the end completely, but I can’t make any promises about when it will be posted since I have started on it yet, but keep an eye on my page, I always update when I can. Also this chapter is not proof read so there my be writing errors. Thank you!

A/n: thank you so much for coming along on this journey and though the story might be over “The delicate beginning rush” universe is not closed, so content from this world might still be posted on the form of fake instagram stories or small stories. I will always revisit these two whenever I feel like you (my readers) want me to. Thank you!! 💜🧶

June 2022

Today it's a calm day in the studio with Taylor and Jack, I'm working on my vocals for her new album that she will announce at the AMA's. "Ok when you hear the beat, start singing." Taylor tells me, giving me the ok to record my vocals. Jack plays the track, the song Paris, is not finished yet, but she really wants it on the album, so we're doing the mixing and vocals for it, I the hopes that inspiration will struck and she'll finish it. As I'm singing I keep thinking that the way she describes she's feeling about Joe, it's the way I feel about Austin, only I can't scream it from the top of lung like her, I have to keep it private. When the word private comes to my mind something in my brain clicks I tell Jack to keep playing the beat for a little longer.

" Privacy sign on the door and on my page and on the whole world

romance is not dead if you keep it just yours

levitate above all the messes made

sit quiet by my side in the shade

and not the kind that's thrown

but the kind under where a tree has grown"

After I finish I take my headphones down and come out of the recording booth, seeing Taylor's and Jack's knowing looks. "That was amazing, Taylor you're up next" Jack says, getting back to his computer, putting together the vocals and such. "Ahah right away, then you're gonna tell me who this person that has you so in love is" Taylor teases before going into the booth to record the verse I just wrote.

Later in the car on the way to her place where she and I will have dinner with Joe, like we usually do, I fidget around nervously. "It's Austin isn't it? He's the one you love?" She asks, looking at me and taking my hands in hers, to stop me from picking at my skin. I look at her, scared for her reaction and all words leave me as I simply nod. What she does, takes me by surprise, when she brings me close and hugs me resting her chin on my head. "If he make you happy, I'm willing to give him a chance." She promises, squeezing me tight in her arms. "Thank you, it means so much to be able to finally tell you." I giggle, the weight already off my chest. "I hope you know now you've got to arrange a meet between me and him, preferably a double date at your place maybe?" She says. "Deal." I agree, happy to have her support.

August 2022

"Agh I'm so nervous, this is too much for me to handle" my hands are shaking holding the champagne glass, looking at the huge projected screen counting down the seconds until my album goes live on streaming. "It's going to be so amazing, my darling, trust me (y/n)" Austin tells me, squeezing my shoulders in a comforting way, kissing my cheek. For the past months I've slowly been introducing Austin to my close friends, so when I decided to host my birthday party and my album release party, privately at my New York apartment, I decided it was safe to invite him. "You think so?" I ask furrowing my brows, creasing my forehead with concern. Austin smooths his hands down my arms, his electric touch sending shivers down my spine. "I know so." he smiles at me so confident.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I put my glass to his lips and he tilts his head back, drinking the remaining liquor. He licks his lips sensually, dipping down to kiss me, but I see Taylor approaching in my peripheral vision, so I turn my head to the side, so his lips touch my cheek instead. "Hi Taylor!" I say, moving out of Austin's embrace, to hug her tightly. "Happy birthday my mastermind!" She says, squeezing me as hard as she can. I feel Austin shift uncomfortably behind me, so I can only imagine she's giving him a death stare. Taylor was the one who probably took it the hardest when I told her about me and him, she loves me and she's very protective of me. Taking caution from her previous relationships with age gaps such as mine and Austin's. "Hello Taylor, nice to meet you in person!" Austin says, extending a hand for her to shake, this is the first time they meet officially, he knows she's not too fond of him. I try to give her my best pleading look, while trying to be subtle about it and Taylor understands, her gaze softening a bit. "Likewise Austin, glad to see you're here supporting her, it means a lot to her!"

"I know it does." Austin tells her truthfully, snaking an arm around my waist. "So are you excited, only 10 minutes until it goes live." Taylor moves her eyes on me, looking excited. A set of arms wraps around her waist and Joe's head pops from the side, resting on her shoulder. "(Y/n) happy birthday, 20 looks good on you." Joe says in his strong British accent, smiling wholeheartedly. "Aw thank you Joe! I'm actually freaking out right now, what if everybody hates it?" I start stressing out again, all kinds of thoughts taking over my head once again as my heart rate picks up and my hands go clammy with sweat. "Hey, hey, none of that, you have a beautiful voice and you wrote beautiful songs, people would be crazy not to love them." Taylor assures me, taking my hands in hers, smoothing her fingers over my knuckles. "She's right, it's gonna be amazing, you're so so talented." Austin chimes in, agreeing with Taylor. "Austin man, mind grabbing a glass? Let's leave the girls do their thing." Joe proposes, leading Austin to the bar, to get a drink.

Taylor hooks her arm around mine and starts walking me to the balcony to get some fresh air. "You know I think I'm slowly working my way to liking him, you guys are cute, I'll give you that." I giggle at her confession, curling a strand of hair behind my ear. "He's sweet, he's been by my side through all of this, he calms me down."

"Well that's good, doesn't mean I won't keep my eye on him." She tells me, squeezing my arm. "Well it's good to know I have friends I can count on." I lean my head on her shoulder, looking out at the New York lights, the city looks so magical at night. "I just don't want you to go through the pain I did, when I felt like everything hurt, every single action was excruciating." She sighs. "Heartbreak is inevitable, I don't think me and Austin are forever, maybe I'm wrong, I don't know." I admit my thoughts, this is the first time saying this out loud, though I've thought it for a while now. I love Austin, of course I do and it's not to say that I don't think he loves me, but I have to keep a grip on reality and the possibility that he might leave some day. "Don't!" Taylor warns, taking a step away, turning me to look at her. She places her hands on my shoulders, softly shaking me, like trying to wake me up, her blue eyes looking straight into mine. "If there's one thing I've learned from every relationship I've had, is that if you keep anticipating the bad outcome, there's always a good chance it'll happen. Austin may not be forever, but he might also be, you don't know and you can't keep jinxing yourself."

Tears well in my eyes and I nod, a soft whimper escaping past my lips, turning into a sob, as she pulls me into her arms, to hug me. "I'm so scared Taylor, I feel paralyzed, soon all of the songs I wrote about my parents, my feelings, about Austin, everything.. it'll just be out there. And then I have to admit to myself that me and Austin won't be able to keep this hidden for much longer, I'm so sa-" my voice breaks as I fist the material of her dress, clinging onto her. "Oh (y/n) it'll all be ok, just breathe ok? Please!" Taylor tries to calm me down, but I'm livid at this point shaking in her arms, hot streams of slat running down my cheek and into my mouth. "(Y/n)? Taylor? Guys?" A all too familiar voice calls out, slow steps approaching. "Oh my sœur, my sweet little sister, what's wrong? Joe and Austin said you two walked out on the balcony, is everything ok?" Timmy asks, smoothing a hand down my back. "We just need a minute, how long until midnight?" Taylor asks, rocking me in her arms. "Four minutes on the clock." Timmy tells her, causing a much louder sob to go past my lips as the fear of the inevitable release of everything I've worked so hard for approaches. "Ok, go in there, we'll be in at the right time." Taylor assures.

Timmy kisses my temple, then leaves me and Taylor as we were before, alone in the hot august night. "You have one more minute to cry, then we will wipe those tears away and go in there. You'll act like the superstar that you are and claim every good thing coming your way, I know it can be scary to have you're feelings served on a plate for everyone to see, but once they are out and you see that everyone feels or has felt like that, you won't be so scared anymore." She wipe my tears with a tissue she pulled out of the pocket of her dress. My lips shiver in a shy smile, as I breathe deep. "Ok, I'm a superstar, I'm gonna be great." I repeat her words, trying to convince myself, the fact that she looks so sure of it, helping a bit. "Come on, we don't want to miss the release." She drags me back into the apartment, all my fiends are gathered around the screen projector, looking at the huge numbers counting down, champagne glasses in their hands, ready to toast.

"Five, four, three, two, one..." people count out loud, then clapping and music erupts, shaking the room alive as Timmy and Joe pop some confetti. I let go of Taylor's hand, my eyes scanning the room for the one I want to see the most. A pair of arms catches me, turning me around to face the person. My face inches away from Austin's. "I love you, congratulations!" He whispers, before placing his soft plush lips on mine, moving slowly and tender, bringing me to life, every cell in my body becoming overcharged with serotonin. My head thuds against my rib cage and I lace my fingers through his silky hair. "I love you too!" I tell him, as he lets me go, so I can circle the room and hug everyone here. It's not a big party but all the important people are here, except my parents. Now, my mom wanted to come, but she couldn't take so much time off work and dad, well I still haven't gotten around to talking to him.

After hugging Billie and her brother, I move on, ending up face to face with Joshua. "Congratulations! I'll be rooting for you at the Grammys!" He jokes, making me laugh as I drag him into a tight hug. "That reaching but I think that just for tonight I'll entertain it." I say, smiling. "Well we'd hope so!" Roxanne says, coming to his side, kissing his cheek. They started seeing each a few months ago, after she came along for a studio session with him. "Very funny, have fun!" I wish them moving on to the next person.

At the end of the night I'm pretty tired and my feet hurt like hell from being squeezed into those very uncomfortable, but very beautiful heels. "An outstanding piece of art from a young upcoming singer, best known for her Oscar worthy performance. A raw, bone shattering audio experience, a journey through the ups and downs of the teenage years..."

"Oh my lord, stop stop, that's enough!" I say, crawling over the bed to reach Austin and take the phone out of his hand. "Hey it's on rolling stone, it must be legit." He says, bending down to kiss my lips. "Maybe." I mumble moving my soft lips against his. My hands roam his torso, until they reach the collar of his shit. With a little tug, I fall on my back, dragging him along. Austin chuckles against my mouth, using one hand to prompt himself up so that he doesn't squish me underneath him. My thoughts are going at a thousand miles per hour and my hands find purchase in his blonde locks of hair, scratching at his scalp, resulting in a long breathy moan to escape him. My hips lift off of the mattress unconsciously, my pelvis brushing against his. Austin grunts, grinding his crotch against mine, placing his free hand on my thigh, encouraging me to wrap my legs around his waist.

We're a panting mess of bodies colliding, the clothes between us restricting us from feeling the warmth of each other fully, so I grab at his shit that's tugged into his pants, snaking my hands underneath the cotton material, to feel his soft burning flesh with the tips of my fingers. Austin's lips move along my jaw, taking their sweet time in loving that one spot right below my ear, that has me going crazy. "Austin.." I sigh, pleasure traveling through my bloodstream enveloping my whole body, I feel the arousal starting to gather in my underwear and I need more, so I move my hips against him harder, searching for that release. Austin's hand ghosts over my thigh, lifting my dress up, then stopping on my hipbone he pushes me into the mattress.

"(Y/n), baby? How far do you want to go?" Austin asks me, his fingers digging into my flesh holding me in place against the mattress. "All the way, I- I need you." I whine, trying to get free out of his grip, but to no avail. Austin freezes above me, then slowly moves back a bit, putting some distance between us, to look at my face. His blue orbs look over my crimson complexion, analyzing every freckle and every wrinkle, looking for the smallest drop of doubt. "Are you s-sure you're ready? I've told you before, you don't have to, I love you!"

Austin has always been considerate, ever since we started dating and I told him about being a virgin he assured me that I should never feel pressured into changing that. And I never have, but I've dreamed maybe even wished that it would happen and that he would be the one to do it.

I push my hips up fighting he's strong hold on my hip, whining for his touch, feeling starved in a way I've never felt before. Austin's breath gets a bit jagged and his hand resting on the side of my head, fists the bed sheets. "Ok baby, anything for you, anything!" He promises putting his lips back on mine, consuming my entire soul with his wet kiss. I lift my head off of the bed to follow his sweet soft lips when he pulls back. Austin's hand leaves my hip, coming to stroke my left cheek gently, his skin feeling electric against mine. His ocean blue eyes travel over my face, following my every feature like his willing to have my face engraved in his memory forever. The glimmer in the sky colored orbs watching me, melts my heart, it makes heat travel all over my body and stop in between my legs, so I rub my thighs together, trying to get some relief. The action does not go unnoticed by Austin and a boyish smile appears on his face.

I blush a deep shade of pink, trying to hide my face in the palm of his hand. "Nah no doing that, eyes on me honey! Good, now tell me what you want!" I open my mouth to speak only a bit scared to voice my desire, but his loving glare calms me down. "I want you to make love to me, Austin. Be mine!" I tell him, cupping his face this both of my hands, smoothing the skin on his cheeks. "I'm yours, I've always been, always will be!" His eyes so full of honesty and love, there's no doubt that what's between us, is real and genuine. I pull him in, only to miss his lips right before they touch mine, turning his head to whisper in his ear. "Show me!" My words sound like a dare and his whole body trembles in response.

Instantly his lips are on mine, drinking me in, moving in an orchestrated manner. Austin's hands roam my body and he shifts around the bed, placing a leg in between my thighs, angling it up, putting pressure right her I crave it. I sigh in pleasure, moving my hips over his thigh, wanting more than just the peer pressure his leg provides. I'm wearing thin nylons under my dress and he uses one hand to rip them apart. "Aus!" I gasp pulling back to see him smirk. "I'll buy you a dozen more, now let me make you feel good." He says stealing the breath out of me. His hands settle on my hips, moving me along his thigh, the friction sending electric shocks of pleasure through me. I grasp onto him, keeping him as close as possible, while he keeps my hips moving. I feel me sleek coating his pant leg and I squeeze my thighs around his muscular thigh. Austin keeps a steady pace, speaking quietly in my ear, telling me how much he loves me. "Let go baby, realx, come on!" He encourages me and my orgasm takes over me leaving me a shaky breathless pile of bones and muscles.

Austin gets up from the bed, taking a step back to look at me, catching his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "You look so fucking beautiful like this, spread out for me, cheeks rosy" he bites his lip, slowly starting to undress himself, unbuckling his belt. On cue I start to lift my dress over my head, but he shakes his head, stopping me. "I want to do it, just be patient my darling." His voice rasps, filling me with excitement.

Soon he stands bare in front of me and I can't help but roam my eyes over his form, I've seen him naked before, but for some reason right now feels like it the first time. "Like the view?" Austin quirks a brow at me, chuckling. "Maybe!" I giggle, licking my lips, the action wiping the smirk off his face. Austin comes closer, bending down to take both of my hands in his, lifting me up in a sitting position. "You're the best thing to happen to me." He tells me truthfully. I touch his face, smoothing the wrinkles by his eyes, then ghosting my finger tips over his plump lips. "I love you Austin, thank you for being mine." I kiss him forcefully, as his hand grab the hem of my dress, slowly lifting it up my body, his burning flesh teasing my, leaving goosebumps all over. We have to break apart when he reaches my head and we both laugh when the sequences of the dress get stuck in my hair.

Now here I am, naked in front of this man that watches me like I'm the only thing he's ever known to look at. His eyes glimmer in a way I can't describe and his hands follow the shape of my body without touching me, like he's scared I'm going to perish if he dares to lay a hand on my. I grab his wrists and guide his hands to cup my bare breast, the moment our skins make contact his eyes snap at me, pulling me into a deep stare. There's something so carnal about this, just to people in love, looking into each other's eyes. I let go of his wrists and move to take off my panties and ripped nylons, finally leaving myself completely bare for him to see. Austin's eyes never leave mine, as on of his hands moves over to my hip, the other snaking around my torso. Carefully he lifts me up, placing me in the middle of my bed, hovering over me.

"Are you scared? You're so quiet." Austin asks, brushing the hair out of my face. "No, I think you've left me speechless." I smile, brushing my hands through his hair. "As flattering as that is, I want you to tell me if you need me to stop. Eyes on me (y/n)!"

"I will, I promise! I'm ok now." I assure him and he nods his head, coming down to kiss me. "I need a condom, fuck I- I don't have any." Austin suddenly realizes, looking apologetic. "I'm so sorry baby, I just, I don't carry one around and I-" I start laughing at his frantic way of apologizing. Their is my Austin, always so sweet and considerate, not to say polite. Him not having a condom on hand tells me that this is as unexpected for him as it is for me. "I have an idea." I say trying to hold my laugh in. "What?" He looks rather skeptic of me. "I know Timmy has some, I could go sneak in and take some."

Austin instantly looks terrified. "And risk getting killed on your birthday?" I can't hold my amusement in anymore. "I'm glad my eminent death amuses you." He says trying to sound angry, but unable to hide his laugh. "Well technically, it's way over midnight, so it's no longer my birthday and I'll be careful." I say, sliding from underneath him, grabbing my silk robe and tying it around me. "(Y/n) are you sure? We can do this tomorrow, or when you want to, we don't have to rush." I bend down to give him a quick kiss. "I want to now, I'll be right back." I turn around walking out of the room and closing the door behind me.

I tiptoe through the quiet house and I can hear Timmy in the kitchen talking on the phone, so I quickly sprint to his room, going straight to the bathroom. I search every drawer and cabinet, finally finding the condoms, grabbing two and putting them in the pocket of my robe. As I close the cabinet door and get ready to leave I hear the door to his room open and close. "Fuck fuck..." I look around for an excuse of why I'm here, this late and naked. I grab the toothpaste tube and decide I'm just gonna lie about needing it.

The bathroom door opens and I'm met eye to eye with him. "Can I help you sœur?" He asks, looking confused. "Um I just needed to borrow toothpaste, I ran out." I explain nervously, shifting my weight from one leg to the other. "Okay?" He doesn't seem to believe me. "Well thanks!" I smile trying to get past him and out the door. "Can you bring that back when you're done? I need to brush my teeth as well." He says and I curse myself for not thinking about that. "Oh well I'm actually so tired, I think I'll just take some now." I say, opening the tube and squeezing some toothpaste onto my finger. "Here you go, have a great night." I tell him, handing back the tube and running out the door. "Ok wiredo.." he mumbles as I walk fast back to my room.

In my room Austin waits for me on the bed, with his arm folded under his head and everything on display. "You made it. With toothpaste?" He jokes, getting up from the bed, hugging my waist and spinning me around onto the bed, to end up where we left off, with me under him. "Timmy walked in in me, I had to find an excuse for being there." I explain taking a tissue form my bedside table and wiping the toothpaste off. Austin laugh shaking his head in disbelief. I slide my hand in the pocket of my robe and pull out the two condoms, holding them up. "Two? You plan to seduce me more than once tonight?" Austin smiles at me, coming down to pepper kisses all over my face. "Maybe." I tease, getting lost in the feeling of his lips traveling over my skin. "Well to be honest you don't have to try to hard" he confesses, kissing down my neck, reaching the spot under my ear, sucking and turning me to jello in his arms. His hands walk over my silk covered form, untying the robe and letting it fall open. Austin places the palm of his hand on my lower stomach, slowly inching it down, teasing me by taking a second to play with my hair. "Please!" I beg, lifting my hips off the mattress, willing him to touch me. "Patient baby, I need to open you up a bit, I don't want it to hurt." He says breathing ragged.

Finally his skilled finger touches my clit, drawing slow circles, pleasure cursing through me, enveloping me whole. "Aus.." I moan pulling at his hair, causing him to let out a guttural groan. "(Y/n)." His fingers work me like magic, his thumb applying pressure to my clit while his forefinger teases me hole. Slowly he enters one finger, pumping it in and out at a slow pace, curving it up, to massage that spongy spot inside me, making my legs shake. "I'm gonna add another one baby, ok? Just breathe for me." Austin instructs me and I nod my head, unable to reply as my voice gets knocked out of me. His long fingers work me open, gentle and slow, the stinging of the stretch being gone very soon. I feel the bubble of pleasure start to form in my belly and I start breathing faster. Austin moves down my chest to take one of my nipples in his mouth, swirling his hot tongue around the sensitive bud.

Right when I feel about to reach my peak, his long fingers disappear, leaving me whining and wanting more. "What-" his lips on mine silence me. "Take off the robe baby, I want to feel all of you." As I work on getting my robe off, he takes his shaft in hand, pumping himself a few times, quiet curses going past his lips. "Fuck the way you watch me kills me baby, you know that (y/n)?" He asks, taking one condom, opening it and rolling it on slowly. Everything suddenly feels so real and when he clears his throat to catch my attention, I realize I was frozen. "(Y/n) we don't have to, I told you." I quickly shake my head and wrap my arms around his neck to pull him back over me. "It's not that, I just-" I'm a bit ashamed to voice my fears, but looking into Austin's eyes I see that I have nothing to fear. "What if I'm not good enough and I don't make you feel good?" I whisper.

"My darling love, when it comes to you it's not just sex, never was, never will be, it's about showing each other how much love we have for one another. And to be honest sex feels good for guys almost no matter what, only a jerk would tell a girl she doesn't know how to please him. Ok? I love you!" Austin caresses my cheek, kissing my lips. I feel my heart gallop in my chest and the second I feel his hard on, touch my inner thigh I'm reminded of the desire I have for him. "I love you too." I tell him, kissing him back. "I know, I'm going to try ok? If it hurts to much, just tell me and I'll stop." Austin promises, looking into my eyes. "Yes, I promise."

I feel his head nudge my entrance, my breath hitches in the back of my throat and anxiety builds in my chest, up his eyes never leave me. I wince at the sudden sting and he freezes. "Keep going it's ok." I say, and though he looks skeptical, he keeps going. When he's fully inside me and his pelvis touches mine, I feel complete. I wish I could describe better how the way we're now conjoined makes me feel so at peace and so safe. "Are you ok?" Austin asks one of his big hands cupping my breast and twisting my nipple between his fingers. I moan loudly, throwing my head back, screwing my eyes shut. "Yess, move, oh god." A low grunt escapes Austin and he starts to move, his head hitting my g-spot with every thrust. "You're so tight, squeezing me so good, God I wish to stay like this forever." He whines, moving his hips at a steady pace. I get more confident and start moving my hips to meet his thrusts. "Shit Aus, feels so good.... Love you so much."

"I love you too!" His hands touch every patch of skin, exploring me, memorizing every inch of my body and I do the same, touching every part of him I can. Austin moves on of his hands back to my clit, stimulating it, making me squeeze around him. "You close baby? Look at me." He demands and I follow his request, making eye contact with him and feeling closer to my orgasm. "I'm so close, Aus, don't stop." He gives me a sloppy grin, kissing the tip of my nose. "I'm close too honey." He says, moving a bit faster. At this point we're just two piles of bones and muscle, whimpering and chasing our pleasure. Austin keeps playing with my clit and soon my orgasm hits me like a brick wall, pleasure washing over me like a cold shower, making everything blurry. "Austin." I moan, feeling him twitch inside me, as he freezes on top of me, moaning loudly. "(Y/n)"

When we both come back to reality he gets up, to throw the condom in the trash, then he scoops me up into his arms and carries me to the bathroom, turning the shower on. We take turns on washing each other, cracking jokes. "I love using your stuff I smell like you and it feels like you're with me all the time." Austin tells me, kissing my lips and working my conditioners through my hair. "I love you so much." I say, looking into his eyes. "I love you too."

December 2022

"Mom, the timer is done, I think your chicken is cooked." I scream from the kitchen, busy cracking some eggs for the cake I'm baking, tonight we plan a surprise birthday party for Timothee, so I'm doing all the baking while mom take care of the cooking. She and I kept on talking over the past months and while she's keen on staying at her new job in Nevada she visits now. Don't ask about my dad, neither of us got the courage to contact him just yet, but it's on my goal list for next year. "Oh Jesus, why must this skinny white boy have as his favorite food, your father's secret chicken recipe?" I giggle, adding flour to my mix. "Mom if it were secret, you wouldn't be able to cook it right now." She flips me off, making us both laugh as she gets the delicious food put the oven.

"So I think I got the karaoke system to work, but I won't put my money on it." Austin comes in the kitchen. "Oh miss. (Mother/n) that smells so good." He compliments my mom, coming over to my side to dip a finger into the frosting I made. "Hey, wash your hands first, now put it in the fridge please." I ask politely and he complies, giving me a quick kiss on the top of my head. "Thank you Austin, dear!" My mom smiles at him.

She met Austin a month ago and despite our big age difference she seems to be quite fond of him. She told me however to be careful, but other than that she welcomed him in. "So when is everyone showing up?" Austin asks, leaning against the kitchen counter. I look over his shoulder at the clock on the wall. "In two hours, but Roxanne and Joshua should be here any minute." I tell him, singling for him to bring the cake pan over so I could pour the mixture in it and pop it in the oven. "I'm happy the are still going strong." Austin speaks, opening the oven for me to slide the cake in. "Yeah, they seem happy." They've actually been going steady for a few months now and anyone who watches them sees that they have a great time together and that they love each other dearly.

"So any songs you want to do tonight?" Austin teases, walking me over to the living room to show me the karaoke station he installed. "Hm not really."

"Give it a try?" Austin hands me a microphone, helping me up onto the small stage he put together. "Ok, any requests?" I ask, smiling at him. "Surprise me." I think a bit about what song I want to do and decide to do one that's not yet on streaming, one I wrote a while and recorded not so long ago. "Ok, ready?"

New York back in August 10 floor balcony

smoke is floating over Jane and Greenwich Street

goosebumps from your wild eyes

when they're watching me

shivers danced down my spine

head down to my feet

swimming in your eyes in your eyes Egyptian blue

some thing I've never had without you

you're giving me chills at 100°

it's better than pills how you put me to sleep

Calling your name the only language I can speak

taking my breath a souvenir that you can keep

"When did you write that one I don't think I've heard it before is it about me?" Austin teases coming over to take me into his arms and kiss my cheek. I giggle putting the microphone down and circling my arms around his neck looking straight into his eyes "Yeah I wrote it about you what gave it away?" Austin shrugs his shoulders smiling at me playing with my braids between his fingers "Maybe it was the part about giving you shivers" I laugh tilting my head back "Oh really I thought it would've been the part about Egyptian blue eyes" he chuckles softly. "That part too, I guess." I shake my head at him, kissing his pink lips, licking my own when we break apart. "Is that my lip balm?" Austin blushes and pulls the lip balm tube out of the pocket his sweatpants applying some. "Dork" I say slapping his shoulder, making him feign hurt.

"Would you love birds stop all the smooching" Roxanne says walking into the living room with Joshua in hand. "Hey man!" Austin says reaching a hand out to shake Joshua's, then he goes to hug Roxanne. "Roxy, ever bubbly." Austin teases. "Hi Roxy, Joshua." I say. "Butler, ever a golden retriever, go fetch." She jokes, throwing an invisible ball. "Easy tiger!" Joshua pats her shoulder, kissing her cheek.

"Everything looks nice, is the cake ready? Can I taste some?" She asks excitedly. "Thank you and no, not yet." Just then my alarm rings for me to take the cake out. "You think you boys could fend for yourselfs while me and Roxy make the cake?" I ask, looking between Austin and Joshua. "I think we'll be fine." Austin responds, Joshua agreeing. "Ok, come on Rox, I'll let you eat the extra frosting."

"Hey that's not fair, I want some as well." Joshua says walking out way, only to get pulled back by Austin. "We'll steal some later, let the girls have their own moment" Austin winks my way, making me blush.

"Oh hello Roxanne!" My mom says, as she works on the smashed potatoes. "Hi miss" Roxy says back, hoping on the counter and watching me take the cake out of the oven and pouring syrup over it to cool it of and get it moist. "So Joshua was saying that he was thinking a trip to Rome might be nice for new year's. He said you and Austin should come along and if Timmy keeps things steady with Lily-Rose he should bring her." I get excited for a minute only to deflate the next. "What about paparazzi? You know me and Austin want to keep this as hidden as possible."

"We would rent a vineyard air b&b outside of Rome, keep away from the big city, maybe visit some of the villages around." The plan sounds great, but not bulletproof. "Paparazzi could still find us." She shrugs her shoulders, taking a spoon and helping herself to some of the frosting. "At this point you've been together for what? 10 months?" I nod. "And you love each other, if they find you, the last thing you should do is listen to their stupid speculations and talk, you and Austin know the truth of your love story ."

"I'll have to think a bit more about it. Ok?" She understands and tells me that I still have a few days until Joshua has to confirm how many people will be staying at the place he rented.

The party starts soon after our conversation and we all have a great time, singing and enjoying good food. At the end of the night when me and Austin put ourselves to bed I tell him about Roxy's invite and he tells me Joshua brought it up to him as well, as far as he's concerned he is willing to take the risk. "I love you and you love me, we both know what we have it's true, so what does it matter if they find us." I agree with him in the end, deciding that maybe yes we should go with our friends and enjoy new year's with them, but the anxiety of being found out doesn't necessarily leave me.

February 2023

The Grammys

"And the Grammy goes to..." Dua Lipa, makes a slight pause to read the winner off of the card and I hold my breath, having so many feelings at once. Taylor holds my hand under the table, also watching the stage closely, waiting for the moment the tell us who won. "(Y/n), Someone who loves you (wouldn't do this)" my song "everything I wanted" starts playing and there's screams from everywhere, feel Taylor hug me, lifting me up from the chair and pushing me towards the stage. She, Finneas, Jack, Billie and Joshua join me on the stage as I accept my award.

" I can't say that when I was making this album I ever thought it would be nominated for a Grammy and then it would get to win a Grammy. I poured my heart into this project and every single one of the people on this stage tonight can tell you how many tears I've cried over these songs and how difficult it was for me to open up to the world in the way that I did. It's more than just a dream to see my words be transported from my journal entries into songs into streaming platforms and then into your homes and hearts. I am so honored and so happy and I want to thank my family, my friends, my love, and my record label and the Academy for the amazing opportunity that they've offered me tonight thank you!"

After the great ceremony and a few more awards, I finally get to go home, missing Taylor's after party, since I'm too tired to attend. When the elevator doors open to my apartment, I'm met with a huge arrangement of flowers, from purple star flowers to sun flowers and peonies, all my favorite flowers, filling the room with their incredible aroma. "...my love" I hear my voice say as Austin comes into view holding his phone, turning the recording of my speech off. "You found a way to thank me, you didn't have to." He says, scooping me up into his arms. "That was exactly what I needed to do, dandelions was my first number one hit." I remind him kissing his cheek, as he carries me to my bedroom and into the bathroom where he prepared a relaxing bath for me.

Golden Globes evening

" Good evening everybody, I want to start off by thanking the Golden Globes for giving me the honor of presenting an award this year. The first time I ever attended the Golden Globes ceremony I was Timothée Chalamet's +1 it happened in 2016 and I met Taylor Swift. If you would've told me back then that getting to talk to Taylor would change what my future would look like forever, I probably wouldn't have believed you so I have a lot of things to thank the Golden Globes for. Last year I was nominated for a couple of words I even won a few but I couldn't attend so this year it was mandatory for me to be here. I am excited to announce the category for the best actor, on our list we have nominees who have given us amazing performances of incredible characters, bringing to screen pure and raw emotion pouring their soul and entire being into these personas that they've taken responsibility to portray. Here's a list of our nominees for best actor" I wait for the promoter to read the nominees, hoping that my reaction to Austin's name being called out, wasn't too much.

The room is quiet and it's my turn again to speak, with shaking hands, I hold the golden envelope up. " In this year's winner for best actor is" I pause opening the envelope and as soon as my eyes make out the name written on the card, they fill with tears that quickly blink back. " Austin Butler for Elvis, Congratulations!" My voice tremors and I feel like my entire body could explode with joy and excitement for Austin. After hugging Baz and his father Austin, runs over to the stage, coming my way with teary eyes. On reflex he hugs me and picks me up off the ground, squeezing me tight, so I have to remember him about where we are.  "Careful baby!" He puts me down, taking the award and mouthing a silent 'sorry'.

After he gives his speech, we both get down from the stage and I walk over to his table to make small talk with Baz and Priscilla and meet Lisa Marie for the first time. "(Y/n) always a pleasure to see you, you look beautiful, honey." Priscilla says, putting back in place some pieces of hair that fell out of place. "Thank you and it's a pleasure to meet you miss Presley" I say to Lisa, extending my hand out to shake, but she surprises me by giving me a big hug. "Oh please it's Lisa, I was so sad we didn't get to talk at the premiere last year and I'm so happy so finally get to see you." I blush at all the nice commentary coming my way, making small talk for the rest of the night.

A few days later

I'm still in L.A. after the golden globes working in getting some auditions for some new exciting roles, I'm staying over at Austin's house, which I think by now a lot of people know. There were some pictures of him picking me up from the air port before the awards, but nothing too scandalous to confirm we're more than just friends.

Austin is in his office, working on some online interviews, having doubled his press due to the Oscars being in a couple of weeks. I can hear him softly talk and laugh to the interviewer and it makes me smile, knowing how sad and worried he's been for the last day. He received news from Baz who heard from Priscilla, that Lisa Marie was rushed to the hospital last night and since then Austin's just been packed with nerves and anxiety, he formed a strong bond her. Not to say he's under pressure for the Oscar nominations, being announced in two days from now.

As I scroll through my phone, Austin's phone rings, he left it here with me to take any calls or messages while he's busy with interviews. I see the id caller being Baz, so I decide it's safe to answer. "Austin?" Baz's voice comes through the phone, worry and sadness evident in his tone and my mind goes directly to Lisa Marie. "It's me Baz, Austin is in an interview right now." I hear Baz sigh. "Well maybe it's better like this maybe he'll take the news better coming from you." I know what this means, I know it so well, it hurts before he says it, my heart filling with hurt and sadness, tears breaming my eyes. "Just say it." All this wait is killing me. "Lisa Marie didn't make it, the memorial is a week form now at Graceland, both you and Austin are invited to come. I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news." I wipe the few falling tears from my cheeks, breathing deep. "That's ok Baz, thanks for telling me, I'll tell Austin when he's free, we'll talk soon, take care." I end the call and cry for a few good minutes, but I decide to be strong for Austin and I wipe my face and sit reading my script, while closely listening for him to be done with his interview.

When I hear him say goodbye to the interviewer and close his laptop, I get up form the couch and walk over to his office. The door is closed so that way, neither William or Simba could walk in and bomb his interview. I knock quietly and open the door. Austin, who was resting his head on his hands, ruffling his hair, lifts his eyes up to look at me. "(Y/n) have you been crying? What's-" I sit down on the leather couch in his office and pat the spot next to me. "Sit with me." Austin looking worried, listens to me, no questions asked, sitting down next to me. "Baz called, he," I take a deep breath. "He told me Lisa didn't make it, the memorial is next week at Graceland."

As I speak he doesn't seem to hear me talk anymore, his eyes filled with tears. He falls limb into my arms and cries with his face buried into my chest. I feel his hot tears soak into my shirt and his hands grip the cotton material harder, almost ripping it off of me. I try to soothe him, but the best thing I can do right now, is let him cry in my arms.

After a good hour or so of crying he fell asleep on the couch with his head in my lap, it was good thinking I got my phone with me when I left the living room, cause he had another interview scheduled for today, so I texted his agent James and told him that Austin isn't going to be able to do them. James, being Austin's best friend since they were little kids, understood perfectly, giving me green light to let Austin rest.

About three hours into his sleep, I need to use the bathroom really bad, so I unlatch his hands from around my waist and get up to go to the bathroom. As I'm washing my hands I hear him call my name, thinking he's up, I call back. "In the downstairs bathroom Aus." But I don't hear anyone approach, which worries me. I still hear him calling my name over and over again and I realize he's not awake, he's just sleep talking, something he does when he's very nervous.

I find him still on the couch in his office, asleep and mumbling my name. I squeeze next to him on the small couch and find my stop into his arms, instinctively he hugs me close, burying his nose into my hair and breathing in my scent. I don't know how long we stay like that, but by the time his eyes flutter open, the sun outside is setting. His hazy blue eyes watch me. "Is it real?" He asks, new tears pricking his eyes. "It is, baby." He holds me close to his chest, breathing in and out quietly.

A little over a week later

I attended the funeral with Austin, which made sense since I was close to the family outside my relationship with him, there were a few photos of me and him at the event, but we were both in mourning and us hugging didn't look too out of character. But to be honest at this point I don't think we care to hide the relationship anymore, we just want to be happy.

After the funeral Austin decided to fly back to New York with me, where we are now. Tonight the Oscar nominations are announced and I'm so so nervous for him, he really deserves it and I know deep down he wants it so badly. "Ready for bed honey?" He asks, coming into my bedroom and setting into bed next to me. "Do you really think you could sleep?" I ask as he puts his head into my stomach. "If you sing to me, please." He asks politely, so how could I refuse him?

One night a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what  could've been lights

but it might just have been you

passing by unbeknownst to me

life is emotionally abusive

And time can't stop me quite like you did

and my flight was awful

thanks for asking

I am unglued

thanks to you

and it's like snow at the beach

weird but fucking beautiful

flying in a dream stars by the pocketful

you wanting me tonight feels impossible

but it's coming down no sound it's all around

like snow at the beach

Though Austin falls asleep soon enough, I can't find rest for the whole night, so at 7am I'm at the kitchen counter, drinking a big cup of coffee, looking out the window and listening to the nomination announcement. When they reach the best actor category, my heart stops and I hold my breath. Finally they say it, they say he name, I'm so excited I don't have the patience to stay and watch the rest of the ceremony to see what other nominations hie movie gets, this one was the one I cared for the most.

I Find him still soundlessly asleep, his phone buzzing on his nightstand. I pick it and see it's James. "James hi, I'll wake him up now so sorry." James his agent sighs, chuckling. "That's ok, tell him to call me when he can, but an hour later max, understood?" I promise James that I'll get Austin to call him no later than an hour from now and end the call. "Aus.." I shake him awake gently and he opens his blue eyes for me. "Baby?"

"It's here Aus, you, made it, you got the nomination." As soon as the words leave my mouth he, sits up , looking for his phone. "You'll call James later, look at me Austin, I'm so proud of you, congratulations." I say cupping his face in my hands and kissing him. I can't believe I get to live in the moment with him.

March 2023

The Oscars

"This year every time we went to the cinema we had an incredible experience watching amazing actors put on a show for us, we saw personalities portrayed in ways we've never seen before from the electric magic of Elvis to the magnificent sad story of the Whale, we have experienced pain, love, fear, happiness all in one, all at the same time. We got drunk on the feeling of pure joy and pure excitement watching these incredible human beings play out on our screen. Tonight we honor them, we offer a token of our appreciation for the hard work that has been put into these movies. Here is the list of nominees for this year's best actor in a drama." My palms are sweaty and watch Austin holding hands with Angela Basset, while his dad has a hand on his shoulder for the two behind. I see the hope in his eyes and when in handed the envelope with the results, I say a little prayer for him. " Austin Butler for Elvis."

I can't believe it, he doesn't seem to believe it either as he sits frozen in his chair. "Austin it's you, you did it, you won, come up, you won." Finally he wakes up, standing and running over to the stage, not missing a beat when it comes to hugging me. I feel his tears on my cheek and it makes me so happy to know all he's worked for payed off. "I love you so so much!" He says letting me go, receiving his award and heading to the mic the give his speech.

"It's a lot to imagine that after four years of hard work, three years of dedicating myself to this incredible person who is no longer with us, but who left us with such an immense legacy , I get to be here on this stage tonight and hold this award in his name. Elvis, he loved acting, he loved movies and this award it's so much for him as it is for me. I want to thank him I want to thank his  daughter Lisa for always watching over me. I want to thank my mom who is up there with them looking down at me hopefully so proud of who I am right now and what I managed to do. I want to thank every single person who was by my side in this period of time and who always supported me even when I didn't believe it myself thank you so much!"

After the ceremony and after getting his award engraved with his name we get in the car together, I rest my head on his shoulder as his driver takes us back to my place, so we could change for Baz's after party. "I can't believe it!" Austin whispers, smoothing his fingers over the cold metal of the award. "I can, you work very hard and you reached peoples hearts, you deserve it, own up to it."

July 2023

After the Oscars we were photographed many times together, but the most recent one, which finally confirmed our relationship came out only two days ago, after we had cute date. We were both a little tipsy and while waiting for Matt to come pick us up, we were photographed making out on the side of the street. It feels so weird to have everyone know that we're together, but it also feels good in a way, because now we don't have to hide anymore. Trying to lift my spirits up, Austin booked a trip to Disneyland the day after my birthday, which we chose to celebrate together at his house in L.A, combining both of our birthdays since they are only 9 days apart.

I look down at my lap, at the sleeping Austin, he looks so sweet and peaceful, I think it's finally time that I confirm my love for him online, so I snap a picture of him over my book that I'm reading, posting it to my stories and tagging him. I know this will probably blow out the internet, but I don't care, I'm so in love that I might stop breathing, he and I are approaching two years together and it's so unbelievable, if you've told me two years ago, that Austin would be mine, I probably would've laughed in your face, but it's true and it's of so amazing.

I can't wait to see what our future has in store for us, but I'm hopeful that we'll get through everything, like we have so far, by being open and communicative, by listening to each other, knowing when and where to set boundaries. Dedicating our time to helping each other grow and stay happy and healthy.

All because loving him is golden like daylight and the delicate beginning rush we felt so long ago never seems to leave us, only growing in intensity, fueling us to always come back and be here.

Tags: @galaxygirl453 @rainydayz101 @samaraannhan20 @marlowmode @myradiaz @areuirish @micaelainthe60s @homebodybirkin2003 @pennyroyalcreep @purejasmine  @strokesofstokes @lanasfloridakiloss @denised916 @kibumslatina @macey234 @melodixs-blog @shantellescrivener @chewiethecatus @guacala @fangirl125reader @father-of-2cats @lucid315 @melodixs-blog @ilovehobi101 @richardslady121 @jensmithin @julie181 @chrisevansgirl34 @ranaissingle @onecrazydirectioner @maria-1287 @austinbutlerssimp @kingdomforapony @acoolnight @tarot-sybarite @goldenmarygio @frozenhuntress67 @anonyboo63478338 @littlewhiterose @thefallofthedamned @1eminicookie @rose-deathman @iheqrtaustin @desitravelsblog @prompted-wordsmith @austinsvlrslut @crystallizedth0t @hertvgirl @peanutbutterinacup @austinswhitewolf

Songs referenced:

[t-nd-rfoot]

BIRTHDAY BASH

The clock has struck 12 which means it's officially my birthday! I wasn't planning on doing anything, but since I was able to get some time off from work for the day, I thought I could celebrate with all of you 💜🩵🩷✨

Pick a party zone, send it to my inbox, and I'll meet you there!

PHOTO BOOTH 📸 ⎯ send me a character from the guest list below and a word/phrase/prompt/idea of your choice and I'll create a moodboard for it

DANCE FLOOR 🪩 ⎯ send me a character from the guest list below I'll give you a song to dance to with them

DESSERT TABLE 🎂 ⎯ send me a character from the guest list below and a word/phrase/prompt/idea of your choice and I'll create a drabble or headcanon for it

GUEST LIST ⎯ Top Gun: Maverick Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw, Jake 'Hangman' Seresin, Javy 'Coyote' Machado, Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia, Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace, Reuben 'Payback' Fitch, Robert 'Bob' Floyd ⎯ Marvel Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Joaquin Torres

⎯ Other Characters Rhett Abbott (Outer Range), Harrison Knott (Press Play), Captain Syverson (Sand Castle), August Walker (Mission: Impossible - Fallout), Evan 'Buck' Buckley (9-1-1), Nick Fowler (The 355)

I'll be accepting requests till May 18th! Please note I don't accept full smut requests and anything with dark themes. Minors DNI. And if you sent in a request prior to this, I'll be sharing them as well alongside these ✨

Enjoy the party!

OPEN PARTY INVITE (aka no pressure tags!) @natrace @theroyssroman @demxters @hangmanbrainrot @a-reader-and-a-writer @rassvetsky @lewmagoo @rhettabbotts @bobfloydsbabe @laracrofted @footprintsinthesxnd @autumntouched @nobody7102 @notroosterbradshaw @babyonboardfloyd @thesluttyarchivist @jackiequick @mothdruid @sebsxphia and anyone else who wants to join!

[bethdutten]

devour me

The official sealed record states August Walker is deceased. It doesn’t mention why there wasn’t a funeral like any other CIA agent killed in the line of duty would get. No one talks about him at all. You’re going to find out why.

august walker x reader. 2.6k words. angst, fluff, smut!! 18+ only

You glanced down at the file on your desk, knowing you could be fired just for being aware of its existence. No one knew about you and August; it was imperative to your safety and his that no one knew. When he didn’t come home after three months on a mission with Ethan Hunt, you knew something was wrong.

He would never just abandon you. Having to go undercover for awhile, maybe. But the CIA would have had to keep a trail of that, for bureaucratic reasons. You got through some encrypted files, found the code names he went under, and discovered in an email that there was a single paper copy in a higher-up’s desk.

It would have been difficult for anyone else, but it was easy for you to get your hands on it. Now you stared at the manila folder named ‘Walker/Lark’ and suddenly weren’t sure if you wanted to know what was inside it.

An hour later, you’d read through it all, and nothing was clear anymore.

You carefully stacked all the papers and photographs together, tears blurring your vision as you placed them back in the envelope, which you’d put back where you found it without anyone knowing. You thought you knew everything about August— his childhood, his mother, his army experience and how it all traumatized him. What he did in the CIA, you accepted and loved him not in spite of it all, but including it all. You loved him, and knew about the ring in the back of the closet with hopes he’d one day grow up and actually ask you.

Who was this man you’d spent the last three years with?

Nothing made sense anymore, but one thing was clear— you needed answers if you were ever going to let this go. And you weren’t entirely convinced August was dead anymore. He was the most solid man you’d ever seen, he’d survived bullet wounds and hits that would kill regular men. Whatever happened out there with Ethan, it was only part of the story.

So, you grabbed a bag and started packing for Kashmir, where the file claimed he was killed. Your eye caught on the black box on the top shelf on August’s side of the closet, half hidden behind a plaid shirt he always wore on weekends that still smelled of him.

You were suddenly hit with a wave of emotion. Maybe this trip was just another stage of grief because you wouldn’t accept that he was gone. Because you never got to openly be with him, when it died it was like your entire relationship died too. The love had no where to go, no where to be remembered.

You took the box and opened it, looking at the ring for the second time since you first found it. A beautiful old miners cut diamond on a silver band, a bit rough but gorgeous, like the man that bought it. You slipped it onto your left ring finger, snapped the box shut, and finished packing.

A CIA contact got you to Srinagar by the next night, and you were planning to be in Turtuk tomorrow. You knew it was a long shot— if August survived, he wouldn’t have stayed at the last place he was seen. But if he was injured, he wouldn’t have a choice.

You left your hotel and went to the closest bar, a small and cozy spot that was pretty empty. You picked a dark booth in the back, pulling out the file you’d copied from the one you stole. You were still left with so many questions. Why didn’t he trust you with any of this?

The door to the bar opened, and you glanced up to see a man walk in.

You would recognize that body anywhere.

Somehow, by some miracle, the dead man you had travelled across the world to find just walked into the bar you were in. It was dark, and he was favouring his left side like he probably broken his leg and was still healing.

As he walked under the lights at the bar, you noticed the right side of his face was covered in thick scars, his eye milky and void of the blue you were used to. The moustache he left with was replaced by a full beard, but it was him.

You felt like you were seeing a ghost. Weeks of telling yourself he had to have survived, that he was too strong to be taken down by someone like Ethan Hunt, that he was just healing somewhere. But seeing him in person, or what was left of him, was surreal. You slid out of your booth, saying softly, “August?”

August froze. He hadn’t heard his name said aloud in months. The local woman who found his broken body at the bottom of that mountain didn’t speak English, and he never told her his name. It was the first thing that came back to him when he woke; his name, then that he was a CIA agent. He couldn’t remember why he was in Kashmir, only that no one came looking for him.

But that voice. He heard it in his dreams, coming in and out of consciousness. Then your name, but he didn’t know who you were to him.

He turned, keeping the right side of his face in the dark. He didn’t know if he should trust you— maybe you were an enemy, sent here to track him down and finish the job. He needed to tread lightly.

But you noticed the recognition. It was August. Letting out a sob of relief, you stepped closer and met his eyes, a hand hesitantly coming up to rest on the side with the scarring. He flinched away, but you held your ground, whispering, “It’s really you. I knew you would never leave me.”

August grabbed your hand and pulled it away from his face, his eyes flashing with recognition but still guarded. Then he looked down at your hand in his, and noticed the ring.

A memory hit him hard. He walked into a bedroom, catching you sitting on the bed with a ring box in your hand, looking at the ring inside. He growled, stomping over and snatching it out of your hands. What the fuck? Don’t look through my things, he’d snapped. You’d smiled, raising an eyebrow. “Are you just mad you can’t surprise me? You’re a spy dating a spy, you should know better.” August’s expression had softened, giving you a glare. “Just don’t--don’t expect me to ask right now, alright? I was waiting... until the right time.” You nodded and kissed him, whispering, “I’ll wait, August. I’m not going anywhere.”

He came back, looking down at you and letting out this soft, heartbreaking sound. It all came back to him. You never gave up on him, after he’d disappeared and abandoned you. After they all would have told you he was dead, if they told you at all. After you probably found out why he was dead.  You still looked for him.

You intertwined your fingers and tugged him along, murmuring, “My hotel is down the street.”

August followed you, a hand nervously rubbing at the right side of his face. He knew he wasn’t the same man you had said goodbye to all those months ago, in a lot of different ways. Would you still love him, knowing he looks like a monster now? Knowing he is a monster? He briefly glanced at the folder you were carrying; knowing it was most likely the Lark files. But if you knew everything, why were you still here?

You got him back to your hotel room, locking the door and promptly turning around and wrapping your arms around his torso, giving him a hug. He was still so solid, making you feel protected and safe like always. That was one thing you loved so much about him-- you knew he would die before he let anything happen to you. 

August felt himself smile for possible the first time since he fell, wrapping his arms around you and hugging you tightly. It felt so nice to have you in his arms again. He was sort of glad he didn’t remember you until tonight-- he wasn’t sure if he would have survived all those months knowing what he was missing.

You pulled away slightly and looked up at him, a watery smile on your lips. “Fuck, I love you, August. I don’t know how you survived, but I’m so glad you did.” Deep down, you knew there was this part of him that he always refused to give you— now, you wanted it. You needed that part of him.

He brought a hand up to the nape of your neck, guided your face up to his. “I love you, too, angel.” He leaned down and kissed you, pulling the most beautiful, needy sound from your lips that made him instantly hard. 

It was a lot of emotions at once; happiness, relief, confusion, fear, arousal. But more than anything, August wanted to hold his baby and remember what it felt like to be loved.

“You’re wearing the ring now, huh?’ he asked with a groan, turning off the light as he guided you to the bed. The ambient lights from the city poured in from the open curtains, but he didn’t want to distract you with his face while he worshiped your body. He laid you down, reaching under your dress to pull it up over your hips.

You nodded, letting him pull the dress up and off you with ease. You tugged him down to get a taste of his lips again, murmuring, “Women travelling alone should wear a ring, that’s just common sense.”

August chuckled against your lips, pulling away enough to yank his shirt off. He hoped you wouldn’t be able to see the scars on his torso from the surgery. “Or did you just finally give up on waiting to be Mrs. Walker?”

You whined, grabbing at his belt with one hand while your other pulled off your panties. “Fuck, August, I need you now.”

Both of you were too desperate for each other to make it fancy; August unzipped his jeans, getting them and his briefs off as quickly as he could, then unceremoniously got on his knees and pulled you towards the edge of the bed, getting his mouth on you like the starving man he was.

You cried out, back arching as your hand made its way into his hair. You tugged as he ate you out like your cunt was his favorite meal, and he’d gone without for way too long. Which wasn’t too far from the truth.

August held your thighs open with his huge hands, a thumb close enough to rub circles on your clit while his tongue licked up and down your folds, slipping inside to fuck you with his tongue when you gave a sharp tug on his hair.

He moaned, and the vibrations set you off, panting out, “August, oh my god, I’m coming, I’m-I’m coming—“

He smirked as he felt you spasm around his tongue, your juices thoroughly soaking his beard. God, he missed this. He didn’t think he could ever forget your taste.

He pulled away when he felt your shaking thighs begin to settle, wiping off his beard with the sheet before he crawled up your body, leaving soft kisses as he went.

You blacked out a little, still convinced this might be a dream. You felt his hand on your breast, sucking a mark onto your neck and tickling you with the beard. You grinned, hands tangling in his hair again as you pulled him up for a kiss.

“August,” you sighed, nipping at his bottom lip and feeling his cock brush against your stomach. “Fuck me, please.”

“I love you.” You weren’t expecting that, and gasped when he pushed inside you, capturing your lips in a punishing kiss as he began go fuck you just like you asked.

He set a rough pace, deepening the kiss as he thrust into you deep, one hand on your hip anchoring you down. You pulled again with a moan as he hit a particular spot, crying out, “Fuck! Right there.”

August practically growled, driving into you harder as he felt his balls draw up and cock pulse inside you. You felt so fucking good, it all came back to him now. How no one made him feel as good as you.

“Come with me, baby, please,” he panted out, and you could hear the tinge of desperation in his voice, through the arousal and love. That’s what did it for you— you came hard, the feeling washing over you in waves and making you claw into his back, clinging onto a semblance of reality.

August stuttered in his movements, a few more sloppy thrusts before he came deep inside you, his cock shooting load after load of cum inside you as he let out a strangled groan. He felt himself still throbbing, carefully hauling you into his arms and cradling you against his chest as the aftershocks wore off.

Your eyes were shut, just soaking in the feeling of him inside you, still hard, his body like a furnace as he wrapped himself around you.

You listened to his heartbeat, counting it until you got somewhere in the 70s, every beat reminding you he was alive, he was here, you found him.

Eventually, he slipped out and sat up, but you clung to his torso, frowning. “Where are you—“

“I was going to clean us up,” he said quietly, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He didn’t want to leave you either, but he also remembered how strict he was on aftercare before. He didn’t want you to think he was slipping.

“We’re just going to get dirty again,” you murmured with a smile, leaning up to kiss him. “Then we can talk about how much of a bad boy you’re been,” you added offhandedly, too clouded by the orgasm to really want to get into it now.

August tensed, swallowing. “Look, what you read— it’s… well, I can explain—“

“Tomorrow,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to the centre of his chest, swirling a finger through the chest hair still damp with sweat. “Or the day after that, or the day after that. We can start a new life now.”

He brushed a piece of hair away from your face, drawing shapes on your back. “I’m dead, baby. I can’t have a life anymore.”

“That’s why you can. They’re not looking for you, August.” You rested your hand on his chest, letting the light from the moon glint off the right on your finger. “We can be together, like we always wanted to. Out in the open.”

August sighed, and when you glanced up at him, he was turned to the right, hiding his face from your eyes. “A lot is different now. I look on the outside the way I am on the inside. I wouldn’t blame you for letting a dead man stay dead.”

You sat up suddenly, grabbing his face and turning it towards you. “August, stop it. You are not a monster, not to me.”

He met your eyes, a tear silently falling from the undamaged one. You wiped it away with your thumb, leaning in and softly kissing along the scarred side of his face, barely brushing your lips over his eyelid before you pressed a gently kiss to his lips. “We are going to figure it out, okay?”

He nodded, voice shaky. “I just wanted to make the world a better place for you. For our children.”

“Shh,” you soothed, straddling his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck. You slowly ground your core against his cock, feeling it already start to harden again as you kissed down his neck.

“I love you. Show me you love me, August. Show me you’re still alive.”

[wanderingdarlingblog]

"The Bewitched and the Beguiled" Ch. 4: "Our Little Secret..."

Summary: What do you get when you cross a sexually frustrated lass with a size kink and a six-foot-five Scotsman with an instant mutual attraction to his old friend's little sister..?

That's right. You get some bomb sex.

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: SMUT (18+ ONLY, MDNI), discussions of previous relationships, hints of possible abuse but nothing is exclusively mentioned, Baron continuing to be an ass but only for a minute, cursing, slight exhibitionism (?), hair pulling, hickeys, some good fucking, oral (f receiving), use of a condom (for once), Drew being a smirking devilish gentleman, honorifics (sir), nicknames (little one, princess, lass, lassie, love, dove(?), good girl), praise kink, size kink, a smidge of manhandling.

A/N: I FUCKING DID IT. I haven't written smut in a MINUTE so if this is a little rusty, I apologize. The more I write it, the better I'll get, and trust me this is just the beginning 😏 as always, thank you for the love on this story, I love writing it and it makes it just that much better that others enjoy it too. Feedback is encouraged and always welcome on my page! I want to know what y'all think, I love hearing from everyone. If you're enjoying this series and want to be added to a the taglist, let me know! Love you guys!

-WD

Sneak Peak Ch. 1 Ch. 2 Ch. 3 Ch. 4.5

August 22, 2021 Las Vegas, Nevada

To anyone looking from the outside, Michelle's face was blank as she stared at the ice in her glass in front of her. In her head, however, Michelle was drowning in memories that she had long ago buried. Memories she wanted to forget and reminders of a person she never wanted to be again, and here walks in a materialized man of all her past regrets.

"Micky, you good?" Rhea asked from across the table.

"Yeah, I just need a refill. I'll be right back. Anyone else need a refill?" Michelle asked as she pushed herself to her feet.

Dani wanted another Long Island, but the rest of the table was fine. She started walking back to the bar. She slid into the booth and ordered, feeling a sob bubbling in her chest but she pushed it down.

How could she be so stupid? Of course he would be here, but she did not think in a million years he would remember her.

"Hey-"

The voice made her yelp, surprised by the sudden touch on the small of her back. She sighed when she saw it was only Drew.

"You alright?" Drew leaned against the bar, his brows knit with concern.

"Yeah," Michelle nodded with a sniff, her nose ticklish from being on the verge of tears.

She delicately twisted her nose piercing and rubbed her nose as lady-like as she possibly could.

"He's just an old fling, if you could even call it that. I guess I was just hoping he wouldn't recognize me."

"You and Corbin?" Drew smiled softly, trying not to sound too accusatory, but he was a little shocked. "That's a little bit of a strange pairing."

"What?" Michelle laughed a little with raised eyebrows. "You can't see it?"

"No." Drew spoke without hesitation and shook his head. Michelle laughed a little harder at his reaction, which made Drew grin. "You have such a lovely smile. It's so bright."

"Thank you, you're too sweet." Michelle's attention diverted for a moment as the bartender slid over her glass, which she quickly took a long sip.

"How did you and Baron meet?" Drew asked as he sipped on his pint.

Michelle tried not to choke on her drink and played it off as a little cough. She thought for a short moment, picking her words carefully. As she was thinking, she thought back to that night, images flashing in her mind.

Booming music. His stare was etched into her memory. His touch lit her skin on fire, his cologne smelled expensive. She remembers how his denim jeans felt on her bare thighs.

"We met at a club in New Jersey one night, like, five or six years ago." Michelle offered a smile, hoping that would be enough for him to not press much further than that.

"Were you together long?"

Michelle glanced over her shoulder to see Baron walking back to the table, already looking at her. After short eye contact, he looked away.

Neck kisses. Hickyes. He had a bruising grip that made her feel some type of way. She remembers how he'd tug her hair to make him look him in the eyes, how the cold metal of his rings felt pressed gently around her neck. Her nails dragging down his back. Beds creaking. Same motel, different nights.

"Not particularly. We weren't exclusive." Michelle said quietly as she looked back at her drink and stirred it with her straw.

Drew glanced back at the table, noticed Baron's return and leaned in close before speaking.

"What happened? I seemed to walk into a heated argument earlier. Bad break up?"

She was yelling. He was banging his huge fists on the kitchen table. Holes punched in her walls. Doors slamming shut.

"Ohhh yeah, it was pretty bad." Michelle's laugh had a morose undertone. "Thought I would see the last of him after that though. My mistake."

"Did you not know who he was?" Drew chuckled.

"Not at the time." Michelle sighed as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and leaned on the bar. "I didn't find out until his main roster debut that he was a wrestler. We didn't really do a lot of 'getting to know you' during our time together. It never came up."

"That's unlucky." Drew's laugh boomed, which helped Michelle laugh a little at the fucked up situation. "Was the sex good, at least?"

Michelle shrugged, which only made Drew laugh more.

"What?!" Michelle giggled at Drew, who was leaning over the bar on his forearms and his head was hung, trying to stifle his laughter. "I don't know, it was alright I guess. I've had better since. I think I just liked that he was so...so big I guess? Wait no, I mean...fuck-"

She started to stutter when Drew raised his eyebrows at her.

"I mean he's so tall. I meant to say tall. He had something about him that told me he could...toss me around a bit." Michelle chuckled a blush dusting her cheeks.

"Sure, lass." Drew smiled and stood up straight and took a few sips of his beer.

He put his glass down and scooted his stool closer so when he sat, he bumped her shoulder.

"So you like big guys?"

Michelle ran her tongue along the inside of her bottom lip and shook her head, debating whether or not she should even entertain the question.

"Yeah." She admitted begrudgingly with a blush dusting her cheeks.

"And toss you around?" Drew sounded deep in thought. "You like getting manhandled, huh?"

"Oh yeah, you would love to know, wouldn't you?" Michelle beamed, a playful twinkle in her eye and a sarcastic tone in her voice. The two shared a laugh.

"I would, actually." Drew chuckled and gave Michelle a look that made her heart pound in her chest. "Why do you look so surprised? You told me I had to 'find out for myself'. Did you already forget?"

No, she did not forget.

Michelle glanced back at the table. The group had thinned out. Annie and Matt had left, leaving Baron, Randy, Dani, Damien, and Rhea. She gnawed on the inside of her cheek and her knee bounced, temptation getting the best of her. She grabbed her phone and opened up her messages with Darcy.

"Heading to my room now, love you."

"It's getting pretty late," Michelle smirked, hopped off her stool and took a step back. "Wanna head to my room for a nightcap?"

Drew beamed and got to his feet. He tossed a few bills on the bar, gently placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her towards the exit.

"After you, princess."

The pair quietly stepped into an elevator when Michelle's phone dinged.

"Dani: Where're you going! My Long Island!! :("

"Something came up, I'm calling it a night. See you in the morning."

After hitting send, she powered off her phone entirely and hit button "15" to get to her floor.

"Your girls wondering where you wandered off to?" Drew's voice made her heart skip a little when he broke their silence. She leaned her back against the adjacent wall and laughed.

"I think Dani has separation issues." Michelle rolled her eyes as she spoke. "Can't go anywhere unless she knows. You can imagine how pissed she was when I debuted tonight. Gave me so much shit for not telling her. But..."

Michelle reached out and hooked her index fingers around the band of his jeans and gave him a tug forward. He took a few steps closer until he put his hands on either side of her head and was towering over her.

"I think she can survive if I sneak off for one night. Don't you think?"

Drew watched Michelle carefully as she grazed her fingers across his belt, moved up his chest and started playing with the top button on his shirt. She could feel his muscles tighten under her touch. He licked his lips and let out a small breath he did not realize had been holding.

"How buzzed are you?"

"Sober enough to know what I want," she popped the button that she was fiddling with and dragged her fingers to the next down. "Buzzed enough to actually do it."

Drew's chuckle died in his throat when she popped another button and peeked at his broad chest underneath the navy fabric.

"We're still in the elevator, love." Drew pointed out, sounding a little wary.

"I know." Michelle smirked, keeping eye contact while she traced the metal of his belt buckle and started to pull the end of the belt loose from the belt loops.

"Somebody's impatient." Drew raised an eyebrow at her with a coy smile and glanced at the floor number they were on, which was 13. Michelle unbuckled the belt so it was hanging open on his hips.

"You gonna do something about it, stud?" Michelle's voice was breathy as she leaned up to kiss him.

Ding.

Before their lips could meet, Michelle ducked under his arms and walked out of the elevator. She still had her hand wrapped around Drew's belt, which she pulled from his hips as she walked away from him. Drew's gaze darkened as he followed, watching her hips sway. Michelle reached behind her head and she unclasped her claw clip in her hair and let her red waves fall.

Drew and Michelle reached her hotel room. When she searched her wallet and grabbed her hotel keycard, Drew grabbed the card from her hand, making her spin around with a surprised look on her face. Drew slipped a strong arm around her waist and pulled her flush to his body. His free hand softly held her jaw in place while he pressed a firm kiss to her lips.

Michelle hummed happily into the kiss and closed her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck, fighting back a smile. To her left, Drew's arm momentarily left the small of her back. She heard a beep and a click. Drew opened the door, grabbed her waist with both hands and hoisted her in the air. Michelle squealed, wrapped her legs around his hips, and grabbed on for dear life as he entered her room.

"I've got ya." Drew chuckled as he kicked her door shut, Michelle threw everything in her hands down to the floor, and she kicked off her heels.

He started peppering kisses on any open skin he could get to while he walked to her bed. Her neck, her shoulder, her chest. He slowly loosened his grip so she slid down his body and she was back on her feet. He took her hand, squeezed it and he sat down on the edge of the bed. He opened his legs so she could stand between them.

"How do you want things to go tonight?" He asked quietly while his thumb rubbed over her knuckles.

Michelle took his hand and placed it on her hip while she brushed fly-away hair out of his face.

"Such a gentleman." She smiled as she climbed into his lap.

He welcomed her into his space and wrapped her in a firm embrace. She traced his jaw and bit her lip.

"I love a gentleman, but I don't need that tonight."

"What do you need? Because I can treat you like a princess in here if you asked." Drew's eyes wandered her figure as he spoke.

His finger's danced on the strap of her dress as he pulled it down so it hung off her shoulder. He gave a peck on her collarbone and looked up at her with those big baby-blues of his.

"What if I told you I wanted to walk funny to my gate at the airport tomorrow?" Michelle's voice was small, she was worried about how he was going to respond to her request.

Her heart skipped a beat and as his face changed from soft and sweet to a devilish grin. He grabbed hold of her hips and back and flipped her on her back and stood over her. She squeaked and laughed a little as she made contact with the sheets.

"All you had to do was ask." His rough hands slowly rubbed up her thighs and pushed the fabric of her dress up her body until it bunched up at her waist. He stared at her lacy black thong and licked his lips. "Would you prefer a safe word? Or colors?"

Michelle's heart swelled a little at the thoughtfulness, but blushed at the thoughts of what was going to happen next.

"Colors." Michelle decided as she sat up on her elbows.

"What's the color right now?" Drew asked as he hooked his finger around the waistband of her panties, pulled back, and snapped it against her hip.

"Green."

"Good girl. How about now?" Drew fell to his knees and pulled her thong down her legs.

He slowly opened her legs, kneading the flesh of her soft thighs along the way. He gazed at her pussy like a starved man. He swallowed and licked his lips, his gaze shifting to Michelle, waiting for her answer.

"Green..." Michelle's breathing was a little heavier out of anticipation, and Drew was enjoying watching her sweat. He smiled and nodded.

"Good girl." With that, he dove into her core.

Michelle let out a sigh and lulled her head back as his tongue licked a long stripe up to her clit. He kitten licked her clit before wrapping his lips around it and giving a gentle suck, which made Michelle let out a high pitched sigh. She placed one of her hands on the back of his head and weaved her fingers in his dark hair.

"You want more?" Drew's voice sent vibrations and pleasurable tingles up her spine.

"Yes." Michelle keened, which just made Drew smirk.

"Beg for it, then." Drew pushed her legs open even further and continued to devourer her.

"Use your fingers? Please, Drew." Michelle moaned and gripped his hair a little tighter as he gave her clit a particularly hash suck. He slapped the inside of her thigh, which made Michelle yelp as the slap echoed in the room and made her skin sting and throb.

"Try again." Drew's voice was even and confident while he made direct eye contact with Michelle as he slipped his tongue into her cunt. While his tongue was working her core, his thumb came up and continued to rub tight circles on her bud. She collapsed, laying flat on her back.

"Please sir? Please use your fingers and stretch me out, I need it so bad." Michelle whined.

"That's better." Drew smiled and slipped two fingers into her dripping core. Michelle gasped and smiled when he slowly started to pump his fingers in and out.

"Color?"

"So fucking green." Michelle's laugh was cut off by a gasp when his fingers found that spot that made her toes curl. Drew's eyebrows flew up and her grinned.

"Right there?" Drew laughed a little as he hit the spot again and Michelle's hips rolled against his hand.

He started to finger her a little faster while he latched his lips back onto her clit, which made Michelle's hips buck off of the mattress, but Drew's arm pinned her back down and continued his assault. His pace slowed for a moment, just for him to add a third finger, making Michelle cry out in pleasure.

"Fuck Drew, just like that!" Michelle's voice was strained as she felt herself clenching harder and harder around his finger.

"You close? You gonna come for me, love?" Drew panted as he went back to sucking and licking Michelle's sensitive nerves.

Before she could properly string the words together to give him an answer, her eyes squeezed shut and a chill ran up her spine as she came. Drew was grinning like a cat as he helped her ride out her orgasm, slowly coming to a stop and slipping his soaked fingers from her. She opened her eyes just in time to see him lick his fingers clean with a hum.

"So delicious," Drew grinned as he started to unbutton the last few buttons that Michelle did not get and shrugged it off his shoulders. "Do you have a condom, little one?"

"It's in that bag over there, I think." Michelle muttered softly as she waved her hand behind her in the general direction of the bag, still blissed out from her orgasm.

Drew chuckled at his handiwork and disappeared out of Michelle's sight. She giggled softly and ran a hand through her hair.

"Not bad, Scottish Warrior."

"Aye, if you liked that, you're in for a treat." Drew spoke through his teeth as ripped open the condom wrapper.

She heard the rubber being pulled and rolled, and then he was back in front of her line of sight. She sat up a little and her eyes widened at the sight of Drew's dick for the first time. It was definitely bigger than she had expected, big enough to make her blush even more than she already was. Drew arched a brow and smiled a little, probably proud of her surprise at his size.

"Are you alright little one?"

"Yeah, I'm fantastic," Michelle laughed, making Drew laugh as well. It was standing at attention with an occasional throb. "Just go slow at first..."

"Of course, love." Drew nodded and climbed onto the bed.

He grabbed both of her ankles and yanked her to the middle of the bed, which made them both giggle. He pulled her to a sitting position in front of him, grabbed her dress that had ridden up and pulled it over her head. He cupped her face and pulled her in for a searing kiss while he reached around and unclasped her bra. She let it fall off her shoulders as they broke apart. He reached up and tweaked her hardening nipple, making Michelle whimper, which made him smile

"I love how responsive you are." Drew shook his head in admiration as he pushed her down gently on her back and rested on his haunches.

He grabbed her legs behind her knees, pulled her hips up so they wrested in his lap, ran his hands from the top of the back of her thighs to the back of her knees and pushed her legs as far up as she could stretch. She was completely open to him.

"Color?" Drew took a deep breath and glanced up at Michelle's face, whose brain was buzzing at the idea of him filling her up.

"Green-ah!" Michelle started, but was cut off by her own moans as he pushed the head of his cock past her folds. "Fuck..."

"That's it," Drew's praise had her pussy clench around his cock, which made Drew curse under his breath. "taking me so well."

Soon, he bottomed out and the pair both let out a groan. He slowly pulled out and pushed back in. The stretch Michelle was feeling could only be described as delicious. Her nails dug into his thighs while her back arched off the bed.

"You can go faster..." Michelle sighed, her half-lidded coffee brown eyes meeting his.

He smirked and shook his head as he continued to piston his hips at a slow and deliberate pace. He leaned forward so he was pushing her legs even further back, bottomed out and started grinding his pelvis into hers, rubbing her clit and g-spot as a result. She cried out and he pressed his lips to her neck.

"I thought you wanted me to start slow." He teased and started to suck a hickey on her neck. Michelle was panting in the new position, desperate to grab ahold of something. One of her hands settled on his bicep while the other grabbed hold of the back of his head. She grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled his head up so he could look him in the eyes.

"Fuck me silly." She said with a gleam in her eye and a smirk on her lips.

Drew laughed and sat up straight, pausing his thrusts for a moment to readjust.

"As you wish." He secured his tree trunk arms around her thighs, threw her legs over his shoulders and started fucking into Michelle's core like a jackhammer. The sound of skin slapping against skin and Michelle's whines and moans echoed off the walls. The pair were being a little louder than they thought, since the person they shared a wall with started banging on the wall, trying to tell them to quiet down. (They did not).

"Right there! Just like that, shit..." Michelle alternated from fisting the sheets to trying to grab at Drew for support as he pounded into her at a relentless pace.

Drew's hand reached around her thigh and started rubbing harsh, messy circles on her clit, desperately trying to bring her to a high one more time.

"Fuck!" Michelle squeaked and screwed her eyes shut. "I'm so close."

"I'm right there with you, lass, come on." Drew's pace sped up just enough to make Michelle's breath hitch in her chest. "Give it to me, squeeze my cock."

Drew watched Michelle come undone under him. Her breasts bouncing, her chest heaving and panting, her head rolling back into the pillow. It was all enough to send him over the edge with her.

The two stayed connected for a few moments after the peak of both their highs, gasping for air. Eventually, Drew slowly brought Michelle's legs back down to be horizontal with the mattress. Then, he slowly slipped out of her with a pop. She hissed at the stretch and the emptiness, which made him smile a little.

"Sore?" He chuckled, already knowing the answer to his own question. He got up and walked to the bathroom to throw out the condom.

Michelle laughed sarcastically and sat up slowly, trying not to fall back over because of the little head rush she felt.

"A little," Michelle brushed her hair back out of her face and let out a deep sigh. She swung her legs over the bed and got to her feet to stretch, but she stumbled back and fell on the bed with a chuckle.

"Just lay down! No rush to get up." Drew laughed as he caught a glimpse of her trying to walk from the bathroom sink. "You told me to make you walk funny."

Michelle shook her head and sighed, staring at the ceiling as she spoke.

"I really needed that."

"Me too." Drew agreed, walking back into the bedroom.

"Hey Drew?" Michelle sat up as he rounded the bed to stand in front of her in all his glory.

"Yes, love?" He smiled at her so softly, it made her chest swell.

"Can we...would it be okay if we kept this between us?" Michelle tried to say it as gently as possible. "I know we jumped into this without talking about what we really wanted out of this. I just don't want it to become a thing. I'm not looking for anything serious right now anyway, but I don't want to get a bad rep and make it seem like I'm trying to sleep up the latter. The new girl sleeps with Drew McIntyre, I become labeled the roaster slut or something. Does that make sense?" Michelle rambled on and started to pick at her manicure out of nerves.

Drew took hold of one of her hands and kissed the back of it.

"Of course. I wasn't gonna pressure you into anything anyway, I just assumed this was a casual thing. I won't say a word. It can be our little secret." Drew reassured her and patted her hand. "And you're not a slut, never say that about yourself."

"Thank you, Drew." She used his helpful hand to stand and give him a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I appreciate you understanding"

"You're a bonnie lass, Micky." Drew pulled back and pinched her cheek, which made Michelle laugh and make a face.

"'Bonnie'?" She raised an eyebrow, confused.

"You never heard a' bonnie?" Drew howled in laughter as he pulled up his pants and looped his belt. "Means you're a knockout, you're swell."

"Oh! Well, thank you!" Michelle laughed as she sat back down on the edge of the bed and watched Drew get dressed. She winced a little as she sat, her pussy still a little sore.

"'Course, little one." Drew pressed a kiss to her forehead as he buttoned up his shirt. "I had fun."

"So did I. Haven't had this much fun in one day in a while." Michelle grabbed a hair tie off of her nightstand and threw her hair up in a little bun. She got up and walked to her suitcase to grab a pair of cotton shorts and her Cactus Jack shirt that was maybe two sizes too big. When she turned back around, Drew was already looking at her with a glint in his eye that she could not really read in the dark.

"You're adorable." Drew smiled.

She walked him to her door, opened it and leaned against the frame. He leaned down and kissed her temple and winked at her.

"If you ever want to do something like this again, you know where to find me." Drew eyed the hickey he left on the right side of her neck. He leaned down and gave that spot a peck. "Don't forget to cover that up in the morning. G'night, lassie."

"G'night." Michelle whispered and waved him off, watching him walk back towards the elevators.

She pushed off the doorframe, closed her door, and padded over to her bed. She turned her phone back on and plugged it in. She climbed into bed, fluffed her pillows and sighed contently at just how soft and inviting the thought of sleep after such a long day was. She heard her phone buzz and unlocked it to set her 7:00am alarm. Her flight was at 11:00am, and she was far from thrilled considering it was a little past 3:00am. She threw her phone down, pulled the covers up over her head and dozed off, thinking about what other adventures lay in store for her. ---------------

Taglist <3

@cherrytheeredheadmamaclaymore

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Ori One-shots

Fall(ing) (a tiny one-shot love letter to autumn and Ori, finished) with artwork by@crowrelli

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Autumn walk 🔥(imagine based on@middleearthpixie's ask)

Ori smut 🔥(based on@shrimpsthings ask)

Ice-skating (small ficlet, finished)

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A Reading for@laurfilijames (a 2k, Fíli-smut story)

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Imagine about the -Ri brothers for @lordoftherazzles

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Life is a poem that doesn't rhyme (Part I) for maalezzo (artwork by @estethell)

Goodbye but not farewell (trainstation scene) for @maalezzo for the February Challenge

Apple Tree (Part III for @maalezzo) for the February Challenge

One night 🔥 (SMUT!) for Valentine's Day 2022

Werewolf AU

Between the lines for @mismaeve's February Challenge

Solace for @eunoia4mind

Birthday Smut🔥 with art by @pistachiozombie for my own BDAY

Kissing Booth with art by @myselfandfantasy

@blairsanne's Blorbo Blessing Imagine for anon about Ori & fierce GF

Ori finds a haunted teapot with doodle by @scyllas-revenge

Ori helps Fíli organise a date for @guardianofrivendell's Bday Challenge 2022

Stone and Book for @maalezzo (BAD!ORI!!!)

A domestic scene for @sorisooyaa

Daydream with art by @mathelaw for the FOTFICS calendar 2023

Silk and ink with art by @estethell

Repairman porn (🔥🔥🔥)

A good day's work for @lordoftherazzles (gen family fluff)

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Events

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[nathcnielarchibald]

Drunk kiss and tell | Serenate

Who: Serena van der Woodsen ( @theserenavdw​ ) & Nate Archibald

When: August 2nd, 2022

Location: A bar in Manhattan, Nate’s apartment

Summary: Serena invites Nate to get drunk with her which leads to more honest conversations, confessions and a step further than they actually intended.

Trigger Warnings: alcohol, smut

Serena: Serena couldn’t remember the last time she’d spend a day like this with Nate. The fact that she had actually convinced him to leave his work behind was remarkable all by itself. The fact that she managed to convince him to do so only to sit in a dark corner booth of a bar at mid day with drinks that should have never been consumed before dark was even more remarkable. So many things in her life were uncertain at the moment, but unsurprisingly, Nate was her constant. No matter what was happening in her marriage that wasn’t much of one anymore but also was officially only on hold, or in her life in general, she so easily gravitated towards him. Actually, the blonde had been uncertain where he stood with all of this - his reaction to her trial separation a lot more neutral than what she had expected. Leaving Manhattan for a bit certainly had been a reaction to all of that, but now, next to Nate in an establishment neither would ever frequent on a normal day, she couldn’t quite remember why she had ever wanted to leave. “I need another drink - and some food!” The blonde declared just as she emptied her last, the glass barely touching down on the wooden table before she already gestured for the waiter who, mostly because they were the only people in the bar, reluctantly made his was over. “Can we have 2 more of, well, that - !” Serena asked gesturing to their empty glasses before she added “plus, we need shots…and food. Whatever you have, we like it all!” The smile that followed was one of those charming ones that she reserved for grumpy bartender and people of authority, clearly the first one being the reason for its appearance right now. Leaning her head against her arm that was propped on the table the blonde looked back over at Nate, her smile softening into one of its most honest iterations. “I really have to be incredibly special to you, getting you to leave the office only to get drunk with me while I avoid all the renovations at my place!”

Nate: Convincing him to skip work even if it was just for a day or maybe only a couple of hours was certainly not an easy task - mostly because he always felt incredibly guilty. Almost as though he was letting the people of NYC who'd elected him as their mayor down if he for as much as a second wasn't working. He was aware that it was ridiculous and that politicians should certainly have actual time off too to rest and recharge but Nate had minimized that free time a long time ago and it was a habit that wasn't exactly easy to break. Even though he knew it wasn't really healthy. Apparently it was a little easier to break it if your name was Serena van der Woodsen though. Maybe there had been a few seconds when she'd suggested the idea of hitting up a bar so early that he'd been hesitant to join at first. Not just because they'd look like they could potentially be the kind of people who'd hit those bars up very frequently, but also because... well, he was afraid he was signing himself up for heartbreak. The kind that was actually worse than every he'd went through so far. There was a part of him that was convinced all of this was meant to go downhill soon enough, after all it had never worked out with her and she basically had easily fallen out of touch with him. Or so it felt at least. Not that he had really tried to reach out either, which was mostly due to the fact he didn't exactly feel like she wanted to be contacted. Luckily, the alcohol took all those thoughts and the little bit of anxiousness away quickly, the two easily falling into their usual teasing and lighthearted conversation topics. Weren't they truly champions at ignoring the elephant in the room? Someone should hand them a trophy. The grin that had settled on Nate's face a while ago only widened at the bartenders grumpy look, knowing that it would probably not really put the other in a better mood but at the same time hardly caring about that. Honestly, who could blame him that he didn't pay much mind to some grumpy guy when a gorgeous woman like Serena was sitting right next to him? "I think I remember you claiming something along the lines of making it your personal duty to keep my sanity in check for the rest of the month? So... I'd say I only gave you a chance to actually live up to your promise." His gaze met hers as he kind of mirrored her position, only that his chin was resting on his fist. "And it kind of feels like you're just using this apparently hardest challenge of your life as an excuse so you really don't have to take care of your place that I'm almost convinced very likely looks like a mess right now. Only because you started something but then weren't really into finishing it."

Serena: “I think it was something along the lines of your sanity suffering because I wasn’t here?” Serena quipped back without missing much of a beat, though part of her wondered if there was something about her prolonged absence that didn’t sit right with him. She knew she’d probably left town one too many times to just claim that people were overreacting whenever she went on a little trip without much of a notice, but then again he had hardly actually spoken to her either, something she had longed to change but just didn’t quite know how to. After all he had been the one to leave relatively abruptly the night she had told him that her marriage was most likely over. “No, that’s not it at all - plus I absolutely do have a decorator who is doing all the work for me…all I have to do is wait and see!” She replied grinning, the words still somewhat foreign, easier identified with those that used to come out of her mothers mouth than her own. “Plus, it’s barely afternoon and you did not voice any opposition to another round of drinks and shots, therefore whatever I’m doing right now seems to be working!” As if he had heard her the waiter put their drinks on the table, noticeable absent at this point though was any kind of smile on his face and the food they had ordered. Not that the food has been ordered for anything but to keep up appearances. “if we were any younger I’d absolutely suggest we play a very paired down version of a drinking game now, but I heard that we are all together to old for that at this point!” Sighing dramatically she blonde cracked a smile before she added “but if we weren’t you’d absolutely pick truth and I would ask you how you really felt that evening when I told you Dan and I were on a break!”

Nate: Nate clicked his tongue followed by a gentle chuckle and a barely visible shake of his head when she kinda called him out, the conversation still too present on his mind to pretend she wasn’t absolutely right. “Touché.” Even if the moment was short, he did notice that there was something else weighing on her mind for a moment but thanks to the alcohol that clouded his mind, his focus moved too quickly to her reply than to actually figure out what it could be. But if it was important, the one thing he should know was that it’d always come up in conversation at some point. While they were certainly good to dance around a topic sometimes, it inevitably never worked for too long - which, honestly was a good thing because 9 out of 10 times it was a misunderstanding that could easily be solved instead of spreading constant worries in their minds. “Pft, that’s just another unfair advantage because you know exactly alcohol is the way to my heart.” He joked, the grin still as present as before while he glanced at the drinks that were now placed in front of them. One thing he really had to give the grumpy waiter was his great timing. Despite his previous words, Nate knew that alcohol (especially too much of it) had put them into very difficult, sometimes even heartbreaking situations they also didn’t seem to be immune to the fact that it led to some of their most honest confessions. The only thing he wasn’t sure of right now was if the truth this time was such a good idea. He’d been vulnerable without the involvement of any alcohol months ago, confessing his feelings to her while at the same time pushing her away because he couldn’t bear the thought of watching her choose someone else again and he wasn’t sure if that had actually changed. Yes, the situation was very different to what it had been then, still feeling guilty about the fact he’d kind of betrayed his friend in that moment by telling his wife that he loved her, knowing that it would cause some reaction at least. Some would maybe even go as far as saying that the trial separation was an indication she might choose someone else than Dan but he wasn’t too sure of it. And the fact her question made his heartbeat quicken as he slowly started feeling a little nervous wasn’t helping either. “Mmm,” He only hummed after she’d finished talking, the grin on his face fading a little as he bought himself some time while he took a sip of his drink, the alcohol helping slightly with his nerves. “What makes you think I wouldn’t choose dare? Though, I have a feeling it’d be the same question regardless only that you would dare to tell me how I really felt.” Despite his obvious attempt to avoid answering the question for at least a little while longer, his gaze never left hers, maybe a slight indication that he would eventually give her the answer she was seeking. Especially since he’d kind of already confessed with his reaction right now that he’d been hiding his feelings back when she’d told him. “If we were young enough to still play that drinking game I’d tell you that I wasn’t able to comprehend the fact this was really happening when you told me,” He began, still much like he’d been then struggling to find the right words or any words to express how he felt really, “It made me feel guilty later that the first thing I think I really felt was relief - in the sense of there being an actual chance you wouldn’t force yourself to stay in this marriage just because you didn’t want to be like your mom. Which, for the record, I still think are two whole different situations.” His fingers traced the rim of his glass absentmindedly as he still kept his gaze on her. “And I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to kiss you as badly as I did then.”

Serena: Serena wondered if she should not have asked. Maybe they’d be better off pretending, as they had so often, that nothing was the matter. Maybe she had also just been too quick to assume that he’d..have some kind of reaction to the possibility of her leaving Dan. It felt like these days there was a constant push and pull between her and Nate, something she had assume they had put behind them years ago until he had kissed her on thanksgiving. Actually, it wasn’t quite fair for put that on him, if anything, they had kissed. Very mutually. From there on things seemed to change by the minute. From declarations of love, to not speaking at all, to honest conversations about figuring out whatever was going on between them..only to then not actually talk about anything once something actually seemed to be changing. “It’d be an unfair advantage if you’d be the only one drinking, we are keeping this very level!” The blonde commented smiling a little as she watched him carefully, the silence that followed her question not exactly the most reassuring thing. “I think you wouldn’t because we used to actually play these games when we were young, remember?” Probably when they were too young, 15 year old on the carpet of Blair’s room - back when it still felt like Serena would end up watching her two best friends love story from the side lines forever. God, how the tables had turned. The blonde stayed quiet when Nate spoke, listening carefully in between sips of her drink, the stem of her glass somewhat of a lifeline at this very moment. “That’s why you felt relief? Or guilt?” She questions maybe came out a little more sharply than she intended, but she really wasn’t quite sure what to make of his words, at least not until his final admission reached her ears, her eyes looking up from her glass and locking with his. It took her a moment to find her voice again after that, before she’ll couldn’t help but ask another question. “Why didn’t you?”

Nate: “Vaguely,” He answered, a bit too amused probably. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to remember all those times they’d played truth or dare but the alcohol that had been part of those games only left him with rather blurry memories. After all, even back then and even if he certainly didn’t want to admit it then, he’d at least had a crush on Serena so that game always caused him to get nervous - and therefore required at least a specific amount of alcohol. The sharpness with which her following questions came irritated him to some degree, brows furrowing as he wasn’t sure if she had expected him to elaborate some more, maybe even wanted him to say that he’d not only been sad to hear that she was potentially single again. He opened his mouth to explain further how and why he’d felt the way he did but then closed it once their eyes locked and a question that simply brushed all the others aside followed. Maybe his mind also seemed so empty now because his gaze had dared to drop down to her lips for a moment, something that so easily made him forget anything but the fact that he was absolutely drawn to her lips and wanted to kiss them. Taste her. He swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly a little dry. “It probably sounds stupid but I was scared it’d push you away.” His voice was barely above a whisper as his eyes met hers once more, smiling softly.

Serena: God they were not good at this, at communicating and their last conversation probably was even more proof of that than the one they were having now. If anything she had been disappointed that he had not reacted more that day, had not said, as she had so often asked of him, even if only silently, to make a move, or at least try and fight for her - a fact that wasnt exactly fair, not when she had pushed him away and made it hard for him to do exactly that so many times before. "It does sound stupid!" Serena confirmed with a slight smile, the air around them charged with something sh could, in fact, put her finger on but wasnt sure if was something they should react to just now. Not that the sentence that followed would help with that. "I thought you would, you know, kiss me that night. I really thought you'd..seize the opportunity I guess!"

Nate: He tilted his head searching her face with his eyes as he tried to figure out if she was messing with him or not. But then again, there was no reason to. Plus, they were pretty much alone in here so that kind of gave them the perfect opportunity for intimate and honest conversation, no need to fear anyone who wasn’t supposed to hear them would eventually get the information from gossip girl. Not that this was really on his mind right now though, thinking not his strongest suit when he was already a little too intoxicated for how early it still was. “Damn, I really suck at reading signals from you, don’t I?” Nate shook his head more at himself than anything else, wondering how it was so easy for him to think he was doing the right thing and then missing something as simple as that. It surely also made him wonder if he’d been standing in the way of his own happiness all those years. Maybe he shouldn’t have flown himself out of the city before her wedding and instead shown up on her front door to ask her not to marry Dan as he’d done many, many times in his imagination. “But I think it doesn’t change the fact that it would’ve felt like taking advantage of a vulnerable situation. The right person, yes, but not the right timing for a kiss.” He then added softly, revealing yet another reason why he hadn’t kissed her that night. There was so much in their past that had happened because they’d followed their desire and the undeniable chemistry between them and while he didn’t regret any of those situations, it did ultimately put them through so much heartbreak and drama that he didn’t want history to repeat itself this time. Which was also something he thought both of them had agreed on when they’d their heart to heart on his birthday - and therefore another reason why he was surprised she seemed to be a little upset that he hadn’t tried anything but instead given her space and time to figure this new situation out.

Serena: “I sometimes think you just don’t want to see them…!” Serena admitted when he asked if he sucked at reading her signal - possibly signals also looked very different to them, no matter what they’d talk or didn’t properly about it seemed that actions tended to look different for the both of them sometimes. At the end of the day it probably was a mix of all of it, many situations of right person, wrong moment, paired with miscommunication and topped off with some fear that they’d mess it all up again. After all, how many heartbreaks could a friendship, or a partnership survive? They’d already coming very close to no longer being part of each other’s lives and that in itself was reason to be cautious. His follow up statement made her smile softly, the reason for why he hadn’t kissed her so very much him that it was hard to believe that so many years living in their world he had not changed. “I think you’re possibly the only person I’ve ever known to be worried about taking advantage of a situation…!” Serena told him softly as she took a sip of her drink before she shook her head softly, the fact that it felt like they’ve never but also constantly had this conversation slightly overwhelming as well as heartbreaking. “Even if you would have kissed me that night, I would have never thought you’re taking advantage of me!”

Nate: Her words probably hit the nail on the head - at least to a certain degree. He didn’t exactly not want to miss out on all the signs she may have given him but something was telling him that he did avoid acting on anything because he’d built some kind of wall around his heart, trying to keep her out of it. Ironically, he at the very same time always wanted nothing more than to be with her, this inner conflict surely to blame for his slow or non-existing reactions and actions. And that inner conflict was also most definitely one of the reasons for the (luckily) short-termed ending of their friendship. God, he probably would’ve never forgiven himself if they would’ve never recovered from that. It was probably the most stupid thing he’d ever done. His hand reached for her hand that was holding onto her glass, fingers brushing over the back of it until she let go of the glass so he could lace their fingers together.  “I may have missed some of those signs on purpose,” He admitted as he lowered his gaze, “I guess I was and I still am a little scared of what would happen if I act on it. No, I actually think we both are. And you know that as much as I do because I’m pretty sure that’s why you told me we shouldn’t move too fast this time. Being with you all those years back was - despite all the drama - the happiest time of my life and losing that was the worst. Especially the way it happened, it was just so frustrating.” He sighed. “I don’t want to go through another time of me having to read about your hookups in Paris on Gossip Girl every morning and feeling just the worst kind of pain that I just wanted to numb,” Nate made a face at the memory of how he’d chosen to numb it and that he actually used Chuck’s black book and how completely out of character he’d acted at the time - an indication of much he’d really been hurting. “I don’t want to use unhealthy coping mechanism again and even worse - everything I know about you against you so I could hurt you too. As much as I would maybe like to claim I didn’t know what I was doing when I brought Juliet with me, I most definitely did it for the worst reasons.” He looked up at her when he paused for a moment, unsure if he was putting his foot in his mouth or if talking about this was actually a good thing. “I don’t want to play any jealousy games or trying to push the other over the edge to get them where we want to… We both know this is all so delicate and I don’t want us to break it before it can even start.”

Serena: The irony of the fact that the hand he was holding, fingers interlaced in what might have been the most comforting action of the day so far, was still adored by both her wedding and Engagement ring was not lost on her - and it was an unwanted reminder that technically, this was a trial separation and a decision would still have to be made. Despite the fact that she was already renovating their shared space, she wasn’t sure if either her or Dan were ready to admit that it was in fact all over. “I just don’t want anyone to think you’re the reason for this…I mean for a possible divorce. At the end of the day we weren’t..we aren’t happy and whatever happens with us, it’s a whole different story!” It was one of her main concerns, not necessarily for the sake of her own reputation but Nates. His job was demanding and while the comparison to Tripp wasn’t one she’d ever voice again, it was undeniable that the press would be equally unkind if they’d suspect their mayor might have cause a divorce on the upper east side, especially since her name wasn’t completely unrecognisable in the New Yorker society circuit either. “It was always other peoples drama…whenever it was just us, it was so good?” What sounded like a question wasn’t really one, in her mind she knew the answer. Whenever they’d actually been alone during their relationship things had been absolutely wonderful, if anything perhaps they had never spent enough time just the two of them. “I think the days of a spending a month of reckless dates in Paris are well and truly behind me, if that’s what you’re worried about!” Serena teased him, the only way she knew to help her cope with all of the things he had just said - and was continuing to say. Even if they both looked back at their relationship and considered it an incredible happy, if not the happiest time, it was hard to deny the fact that they had played far too many games - both during and after. Not to mention that, much like he said, they knew each other so well it unfortunately was easy to push the others button when push came to shove, though in her memory that had happened more so whenever they weren’t actually together - when repressed jealousy showed it’s ugly head. “Neither do I, but we also didn’t want this when we last tried this…!” It was hard to admit that, but she felt like in a way their previous relationship had started with much of the same pretence. “I just remember thinking then that it made so much sense, that it was you..and that it should have been you all along!”

Nate: If there was one thing Nate certainly could relate to than it was the fear of people turning a possible relationship between them into unnecessary drama. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time and people just loved to judge and gossip without really knowing anything, especially not the truth. But to him it wasn’t only his reputation and the way he could potentially be received as a home wrecker by those narrow-minded people, it was also the fact they’d (once again) judge Serena and paint her out to be someone he knew she wasn’t. He’d always hated how Gossip Girl made her look like this spoiled brat and party girl (and yes, he knew Serena hadn’t exactly been innocent growing up so maybe it wasn’t completely undeserving to some people) but he felt like the good and kind parts of her had always been left out of those narratives. Which wasn’t really fair. The last thing he wanted was for her to be seen as someone who she truly wasn’t again because of stupid nonsense. “I know and I don’t want it either. But if the existence of Gossip Girl and all those tabloids have taught us one thing, it’s that people always talk and they also always make up shit about people they don’t know, if they feel like it. I think even if we waited for years after decisions have been made and things have been finalized, there’d be someone digging and then finding out about our history only to use it against us.” Of course, it was easier said that  they technically would have to accept those false narratives should someone decide to put them out there, than to actually do so but he felt like they didn’t really have any other option. “Maybe we should ditch New York and just run off to the West Coast together.” He joked, chuckling softly though there was a small part of him that if things got really bad wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea of them just running off somewhere - it didn’t even have to be the West Coast as long as they were away from the drama. “It was always good when it was just the two of us, yeah.” Not that it was really necessary for him to confirm it because the smiles and glances back then had spoken volumes - just as much as the moments they’d managed to steal away, blissfully oblivious to the drama slowly unfolding in both of their lives. “Ha ha. Not the point but I appreciate the reassurance.” He couldn’t help but grin at her when she teased him, as heavy as the topic was at least they were also at a point where they could make fun of the situation itself now. That was some progress, right? “I know but maybe we just have to try harder this time.” Once again, something that in their lives seemed easier said than done but Nate also knew that if they would really try this again, he was willing to do everything he could to make it work - something that also included the fact that he needed to take action in situations that didn’t seem as perfect and right at first probably. “Your young adult self was smarter than I ever gave her credit for, I guess.” Now he couldn’t help but tease her, a soft grin coming along with his words to make it clear that they certainly weren’t meant to harm her. Maybe it was even a confession of sorts because he did indeed always convince himself that he’d been her second choice in every past situation.

Serena: He was absolutely right, if anything they had learnt to deal with the noise of the tabloids and Gossip Girl over the years, but it also felt like the older they got the stakes certainly were higher. She didn’t put it past the media to have an impact on his career if they decided to really hound him, or her for that matter. “I think the whole point is not running away from it all this time around, no?” Serena asked softly, although the thought was always appealing. She sometimes did wonder why they had never left New-York and all the drama behind, not just her and Nate, but all of them. When he admitted that there was a chance her younger self had been smarter than he had given her credit for she smiled softly, though a trace of sadness was easily readable behind the smile. “You never trusted me when we were together, not fully at least. I know I didn’t give you many reasons either, so I don’t blame you, but…I just wish you would have trusted me more!” Maybe it was also a silent plea for him to now do what he apparently couldn’t do then, to, if they were to try to build some kind of life together, actually fully let himself believe that it was what she wanted and that being with him was the only thing she wanted.

Nate: While Nate knew that the point indeed was not to run this time, part of him wished they could because it certainly would be easier. On the other hand, he kind of really wanted to go the more complicated, harder route because he was sure in the end it’d be worth working through everything that was still lying ahead of them. No matter if they were friends or lovers at the end of what he assumed was going to be a rocky road. “Yeah, it’s all about not running this time.�� He smiled softly as he looked at their intertwined hands, the fingers of his other hand absentmindedly drawing circles on the back of hers while he was lost in his thoughts for a moment. He looked up again when she talked about his lack of trust, the sadness of her smile not going unnoticed by him, a soft sigh escaping him at the sight. There were many factors that had played a role in their relationship not working out and Nate knew that his own issues had been part of it. Oddly enough, Serena was one of the people, if not the only one, he trusted in every other aspect, so much that she was probably the one who knew the most about him. The only thing he still couldn’t completely trust her with was his heart. Just the thought of giving it all away and trusting her blindly, especially not to change her mind about who she wanted to be with was scary. Most of all because he just knew if they screwed up another time, there’d be no way to fix this relationship again. It’d be over for good then. He lifted his hand to caress her cheek gently, his thumb running across the soft skin of cheek as he searched for her eyes this time. “I know I have to work on my issues too. I’m… I’ve actually already… started working on them. Not alone, though. But with professional help.” He admitted, it was the first time he was telling anyone that he was seeing a therapist. It had been difficult for him to even admit that he needed help, always one to try and figure things out on his own, especially when it was only about himself but he knew he couldn’t continue like this. “I’ve been seeing a therapist regularly since… since my trip to LA. When I ran into Diana, I had some kind of panic attack because having to see her and being confronted with that part of my past that I just honestly want to forget brought up too many feelings that I couldn’t handle. My therapist calls it trauma, I honestly didn’t have any idea it was that bad until that day but yeah. Working on.. all of that has been interesting and just… a lot.”

Serena: His words floored her for a moment. Professional help, admitting one was out of one’s depth wasn’t exactly something that was common in their world - while most people certainly needed it, nobody ever seemed to consider it. The fact that he now was facing things that they had always downplayed, mostly because it was the only way to continue, felt momentous. “Trauma…id like to say I’m surprised, but the only thing that actually surprises me is that we are all still standing upright at this point!” Sure enough they had all experienced more traumatic situations than most people did in a lifetime, most of which had always been simply ignored and considered normal. Just part of their lives. Serena let go of his hand for a moment, taking up her drink as she considered his words. “How does it feel? To talk to someone about, I mean, just all of this?” She asked her hands automatically reaching for his arms again, softly tracing little lines on his skin as she waited for his reaction, his answer. “I did think if anyone would make you want to go to therapy I’d be me!” She finally joked softly, just to let him know that she in fact, much like him, understood where her faults laid with their past. Her next words weren’t exactly the easiest to formulate, but she meant every word of it. “Nate, if you need time for yourself right now..and need to focus on yourself - I get that!”

Nate: The pause she needed to process the information he'd just placed in front of her, he used to take a couple of sips of his own drink. The liquid courage certainly needed in a moment like this. And he honestly understood the need to process on her part because he still wasn't sure if therapy was the right or wrong thing to do and it most definitely wasn't a common thing in their society. "It feels... odd, weird even. I prefer talking to you about these things, cracking jokes and brushing it off... momentarily. But I guess that no longer works for me from a long-term perspective." He answered truthfully as a sigh fell from his lips. While her questions and the topic in general was the hard-hitting kind, her touch was soft and gentle - basically the opposite of it, which was more than just comforting and calming in a way. Plus, there was always this soft layer of goosebumps covering his skin whenever Serena touched him. Not solely because of his sexual attraction to her but every time she was touching him, it felt like she was touching his soul - one of those effects only she ever had on him. When he'd told her that he was seeing a therapist, he somehow didn't think of what else she could apply this to. He didn't think that she would maybe assume that he was subtly trying to tell her that he needed time and wasn't ready for letting another person into his life. That was not what he wanted - or meant so he shook his head. "I don't need time for myself. I mean- I-I do need to figure some things out that I need time for but... that will likely be something I'll work on for the rest of my life. Maybe I should just marry my therapist. Though I think his wife might not be too happy about that." He couldn't help but drop a joke in between all the heavy, seriousness of this topic. "I meant that... I..." He was struggling to find the right words or to put his thoughts into words that made sense for both of them, honestly. Not because he was afraid she wouldn't understand him or she wouldn't like what he was about to say but solely because he wanted her to know that the fact he wanted to be with her was the only certain thing in his life right now. "I do trust you, there are just... holes in that construct that I still need to fill? But I'd... I think the only way to fill those and build it back up in a complete way would be to do it with you. I don't need distance from you to work on it, the only thing I need from you is to understand that I want to get there but it's gonna be a work in progress. Basically like everything in life is? The only thing I don't want is to go into this pretending like those issues didn't exist and making the same mistakes all over again so that we'll inevitably fail again. But from what you said, I think that is a very mutual thing, right? And if you tell me this is what you want - I am what you want then I will believe you this time and not question it constantly. I'll try as much as I can not to slip up and fail to trust that.”

Serena: "Oh please do not marry a therapist, I am that would not go down well next thanksgiving – i personally would hate being psychoanalysed over turkey and pumpkin pie!" I was really easier to just smile away the worries and the topics, it was what she, or all of them really, were good at, but she none the less was listening, taking in all those informations he was laying on her right now. News and information she was proud he chose to share with her. "I understand that,  I really do, I think...!" Serena could not help but laugh a little, her hands covering her face for a moment when she looked back up at him, the whole situation feeling much more complicated than any of the things they'd found themselves in before. Somehow the lines when it came to kissing while one was still married, having sex while the other was in a relationship - and any other thing that had ever happened between them was less black and white like this. "I cannot and I will never promise you anything. I am not good with these things, but I need you to understand how I feel about you, how I have always felt about you, in one way or another! I am nowhere near divorced yet, my husband...Dan, we havent even decided that things are really over..I guess we both know, but...all I wanted when I told you that my marriage seemed to be ending was to kiss you!" She was not sure if any of this was giving him what he needed, or if this was an actual answer to anything he had just said. "I dont want to make the same mistakes again either, but I also dont want us to once again just...not try, or not try enough. What if things just arent meant to be completely smooth and there will always be some kind of complication? Because there will be. Your family would never approve of me, I doubt it'll be great for your career, people will talk always … about us, about the past, about Dan, wether or not this started long before. There will be gossip, an rumours and we might fail...!" Because there was a chance this would not work, just statistically, this might as well would not work out and that was not taking all kinds of exterior factors into consideration. If the fact that she had said all of that with a smile on her face had not been sign enough that none of this was meant to be stated to be hurtful, but simply to be truthful, her next words certainly would give him that idea. "But I want that and I want to try. I'll have to talk to Dan and we need to figure this all out...and we should take it slow, see where this all leads us, but...!" Her body had gravitated towards his as she had spoken without really realising it, but it did just underline her next words perfectly "...I need you!" words that were especially underlined when her lips met his just moments later, albeit in a kiss that was much softer than what she truly craved.

Nate: Just picturing being married to a therapist and them analyzing his friends amused him so much that he let out a soft laugh. The guaranteed chaos, however, wasn't something he'd look forward to either. Especially since their Thanksgivings were already dramatic enough and there was still that little bit of hope left that they'd finally have one so calm that their biggest worry would be maybe some spilled red wine. But that was a train of thought for another day, maybe. He rather focused on what she was now saying, the fact she told him she wasn't going to make promises she likely wouldn't be able to keep not something that disappointed him but he actually appreciated. It was definitely not something he expected or wanted from her anyway, the only thing he really wanted was for her to acknowledge that they had issues that needed to be worked on and she already did that. Everything else she could offer was something he'd take but he certainly didn't want to pressure her with expectations she couldn't meet. They were already both on the same page of wanting to really try this time, but maybe his hesitation when it came to kissing her already made it seem like he wasn't up for that. But when it came to the possible repercussion this could have on his career, the gossip they would have to endure and most importantly his family not approving... those were things he didn't really worry about at all. Truth be told, that could seem a bit stupid, especially since he'd worked hard on getting where he was but it wasn't really his career that was making him happy. Plus, he'd already made the decision for himself that he didn't want to stay in the political field after his term was over. But that was also something he hadn't really told anyone yet, except for his therapist and he knew he'd need some time until he was able to tell anyone. She was right - there was a chance they would fail yet another time and that thought was admittedly scary and maybe the one he worried about the most. For the most part because he wasn't sure how much this would also affect their friendship in the end. He knew that if their relationship failed after they really tried to make it work, he wouldn't want to try that another time. But what he knew was that he would try his best to stay friends with her, just that it obviously depended on the reason why it ended then. Though, right now, this was the worst case scenario and surely not something he wanted to pay much mind to. Thinking about something ending before it even really started surely wasn't clever. Moments earlier, when she had mentioned that all she wanted was to kiss him the night she'd told him about her trial separation, Nate's gaze had inevitably wandered to her lips for a second but he'd quickly reminded himself to focus. Only when her body now moved closer to his, he suddenly felt the urge and the pull to meet hers in the middle and this time he gave in. The smile on his face mirrored hers as she told him that she wanted to try and when her lips met his, he let his eyes fall shut as he enjoyed the softness of the kiss, not even hesitating for a moment to kiss her back. "I want to really try this time too. Doesn't matter which obstacles will be thrown our way." Nate then whispered against her lips, pulling back a little to look at her again but it truly wasn't the easiest task. And just a moment later, he gave in a second time, only that he kissed her this time with a little more hunger than the kiss they shared before.

Serena: Serena had never been known to be one to resist temptation, if anything she was the temptress, even in moments when she had not anticipated or attempted to do so. If there was one thing they had always been able to rely on it was physical attraction - friendship or relationship hardly mattered, they’d always been physical, touch a love language Serena used and occasionally abused in a sense, physicality often easier to access than words. The blonde wasn’t sure if this was right, if they should be kissing right now - if she would think of it she’d think of the man who was still her husband, of the fact that her separation at this one was a trial, albeit one that came with renovation and a move on Dans part so the permanent decision possibly had already been made only that words had failed them. Words now equally failed the blonde as she simply allowed herself to indulge in the feeling of Nate’s touch, her lips hungrily exploring his as if they’d never kissed before. A fact that wasn’t all that far from the truth since, aside from thanksgiving, their last intimate encounter was years ago, something that filled her with both excitement and a healthy dose of anxiety. “Can I stay at yours tonight?” Serena finally asked when he lips broke away from his, though the distance was minimal, her breath still hot against his skin as she tried to regain some sense of time and space. “I mean…not for this…I just don’t want to spend the night alone!” She told him truthfully, knowing that sleeping over was them playing with fire if they truly wanted to stick to their self imposed slowness, but she knew that being alone with her own thoughts in an empty apartment that was a partial construction zone would be detrimental tonight.

Nate: Nate was a little dizzy after she’d pulled back from the kiss, he didn’t know if it was due to the alcohol in his system or just simply the fact it was Serena who he was (finally) kissing again - but it was probably a bit of both. One thing was for sure, though… not only the kiss left him a little breathless but her question surely took a moment to process as well. While the timing surely did indicate something entirely different than the actual reason behind it, Nate wasn’t disappointed when she corrected herself. Instead he smiled softly at her, knowing well enough that Serena always struggled with being alone and she never really had been in the last… well, probably never actually. But he also was just as aware that neither of them was actually known for being able to resist each other and if their kiss just a few seconds ago didn’t already prove it, a lot of moments in their past most definitely would. “Yeah, of course.” There was no way Nate would’ve been able to say no to her and he also didn’t want to. Plus, maybe they were finally at a point when they could actually take things slow, which was something he was sure both were equally as determined to stick to. “How does takeout sound? Because I’m pretty sure the only food they offer here are those peanuts in that bowl the guy placed on our table and I don’t think we should keep drinking on empty stomachs.”

Serena: “Mhm, I’m guessing your fridge is entirely empty since it’s no longer stocked by Blair and Chuck…!” She pondered teasingly, though the memories her own words brought back should be reason enough to reconsider her own idea of sleeping over because her whole body was craving to touch him again - but she also refused to go back on her word this quickly, how hard could it actually be to practice some self restraint. “Chinese?” She asked instead of replying properly to his question, the food choice more than enough of an answer. “Order some food and get a car and I’ll handle that guy?” Serena added, one look over her shoulder at whom she by now suspected to be the owner of this place and it was clear that he was more than ready to get rid of the only patrons at this place and while she’d claim that it was the only reason why she leant back down after she had gotten up and caught Nate’s lips in another kiss that should technically be reserved for the privacy of one’s own home although truth was it was both, her heart and the shots doing the talking. Plus this guy hardly looked like he knew, or cared about gossip girl. The air outside was hot and heady, the opposite of cool and sobering that they both possibly needed and it was the first moment that Serena wondered if what she was doing was cruel to both of the men in her life, one who probably knew that their marriage was over and the other who might end up loosing a friend over it, especially if photos of them would appear online so soon after this trial separation. It was a question she mulled over on the drive back to his place, teeth unconsciously pulling on her lower lip, a nervous habit that had never really disappeared over the years - although the worries did he moment she stepped foot into Nates place, everything about it familiar despite the fact that she had spend very little time there over the years. It even smelled like him. The familiarity made it easier to just discard her bag in a corner, heels following before she looked around a little, spotting little details she hadn’t notice the last time she was there. The silence between them in the moment not uncomfortable or threatening, but somewhat peaceful and she only broke it when she walked back over to him, her arms wrapping around his neck, the height difference suddenly turned on its head now that the loubutins no longer worked to her advantage. “Thank you!” She whispered against his lips, hers meeting his again because frankly now that they had kissed she felt like she been starved of his touch for years and not only memories but emotions resurfaced at an almost overwhelming speed - all quieted by the simple action of giving in to this, to him. Were their plans of quasi-chastity saved by the ringing doorbell that announced the arrival of their food? The fact that at least Serena felt what she assumes most teenagers felt like when they were caught by their parents suggested that yes, the doorbell had been somewhat of a saving grace. The blonde sighed with a hint of what possibly was sexual frustration as she pushed her hair out of her face and stepped away from him so he could take care of the food, only speaking up again when the door was closed. “I need a hot shower and a drink…and since you cannot be part of the first, you’re in charge of the second!” The words were spoken with a grin on her face, though she did need a moment to put some distance between them and a shower was about the only thing she could think of in the moment.

Nate: There was something about the sexual tension that was suddenly so present in the air between them that made him almost forget his actual task while she was gone to pay their drinks. He had no memory of him calling his driver to pick them up and then ordering the food but both things had apparently happened during her absence. All he did remember was how his eyes never left Serena and the little voice in the back of his mind screaming that it was a bad idea. But bad ideas didn't mean that they would always come with regret, right? At least he couldn't exactly claim that he fully regretted any decision they had made while drunk on both, alcohol and... feelings in the past. So, why should it be different now? It seemed like Serena's mind was clouded with similar thoughts, or at least with worry during their drive back to his place, his eyes catching sight of one of her nervous habits that he was all too familiar with. And yet, the only thoughts that really crossed his mind were that she looked cute like this and that he was glad this day wasn't over yet but actually included a sleepover. He'd missed her so much that every additional hour was very welcomed, no matter the possible consequences that could come from this. It was easy to tell Serena relaxed as soon as they were inside his apartment, his body inevitably doing the same, but for a moment he wasn't sure if it was the privacy or because she felt comfortable in his space. The bag and heels that landed in the corner almost carelessly a second later gave a little hint as to what at least the main reason seemed to be. Which in return caused a smile to grace his features, still unable to keep his eyes off her, though he at least managed to take his shoes off by the door as well before she'd approached him again. His arms easily snuck around her waist, only slightly surprised by the kiss this time because he too felt the constant pull towards her since the moment they'd shared their first kiss of the night. Lines they had drawn themselves and previously planned not to cross had been blurred again, and it, ironically enough reminded him of a similar situation. Only that... well, Serena had basically been in his position and he was the one who had been disappointed in her and hurt by her decisions. But was this really as bad as the decisions Tripp and Serena had made back then? It wasn't the same, was it? That thought was quickly pushed away when he noticed that he was still holding the door open even though the food and money exchange had already happened and he closed it again, turning towards Serena. The question she then asked along with the mental pictures of her naked in a - no, his - shower definitely made sure that every doubt and thought was silenced, the grin on his face now matching hers even though he wasn't exactly sure how he was going to survive this night and actually resist the temptation. "Take the bathroom on this floor, this way," he gestured towards the hall to his right, "second door on the left. The shower is much nicer than the one upstairs. Fresh towels are in the first drawer." He looked at her for another moment, his gaze maybe a little more intense than he actually intended before he forced himself to turn away and place the bags with their food on the kitchen counter so he could go and grab them both a drink. Once he heard the bathroom door close behind Serena, he allowed himself to let out a deep breath as he muttered an almost inaudible "Shit." How did he always find himself in these situations with Serena? And how was he supposed to hold it all back when he'd done so for the last ten years or so and it all seemed like the hardest task he's ever been met with now? Especially since his mind always wandered back to the fact she was in his shower right now and if he was being honest, he was dying to join her and it admittedly did cost him a lot of strength not to as he forced himself to focus on placing the cartons with their food on the table in front of his couch before finally fixing both of them a drink, his first two emptied right after they were poured and then refilled again. He figured putting on a movie while they ate would hopefully help him staying focused on anything but the sexual tension, though he had no idea which movie would actually be able to break that. Not when he could hardly think straight and the alcohol he kept adding to his system surely didn't help either.

Serena: “Nice shower? Are you trying to woo me Archibald?” Serena asked teasingly as he led her to the bathroom which what he deemed the nicer shower and showed her where she could find anything she needed - only to not leave the room when he was done, at least not right away. Her eyes had met his through the mirror, knowing it’d be oh so easy to take off just one piece of clothing right there and invite him in, not just the shower but whatever else this was, but he had averted his gaze eventually, door shutting behind him and she wasn’t sure if the sigh she let out was one of relief or frustration. The hot shower didn’t exactly purify her thoughts as she had hoped, but it did leave her feeling slightly more alert than previously, the effects of the alcohol wearing off slightly - stark contrast to him as she realised when she stepped out of the bathroom, drips of water following her as she made her way to the living room again, her hair slightly tangled and damp from where it reached her shoulder blades, her body wrapped in a white towel which she held onto tightly, though it did little to cover her long legs, a fact she was achtelt aware of once she was back in Nates presence. Serena had to clear her throat for a second before she could formulate words, carefully bending down to grab a hold of the glass she assumed was hers without exposing too much naked skin…or any more than was already on display. How was modesty so much harder than seduction? And how was it this contrary to both, her nature and her current longing. “Forgot to ask if you have anything I could wear...!” She finally spoke though the fact was probably more than just a little obvious as she stood in front of him. “If you tell me what to grab I can get it myself I just…didn’t know where!” The fact that it once had been common cutesy for her to raid Nates closet for anything she could wear, be it around his place or as some kind of outfit filled her with memories and made the fact that she now didn’t even know behind which door his bedroom was even more….confusing. “You know what, never mind, I can just put my clothes back on!” She finally added as she emptied the glass she had picked up. Apparently sobering up did nothing to make her want to drop her towel any less, so she might as well continue to easy the tension with alcohol. At least that’s how she explained her own actions to herself. The fact that contrary to her words and what they’d suggest she actually sat down next to him, hand reaching for the bottle to refill her glass before simply reaching for a blanket to place over her very exposed legs wasn’t exactly sensical - but neither was anything else happening in her life so far. Not to mention that something about the effect she still seemed to have on the man next to her ten years later was undeniably exciting and maybe, just maybe she did like playing with fire despite her earlier attempts of denying that little fact to herself, but now her mind wouldn’t stop replaying the way he had looked at her just moments earlier and she couldn’t quite remember feeling as desired in a very long time.

Nate: How he had even for a second thought that it would actually be easier to not think about sex once she finally stepped out of the shower and rejoined him was beyond him. Well, maybe if he had thought about the lack of clothes she'd brought to this sleepover earlier and had gotten her clothes to change into after her shower it would've been... but now? The way the towel clad to her still slightly wet body and the fact he smelt his shower gel on her body threw any kind of control over his mind and body right out of the window. His gaze was glued to her, suddenly wishing that his couch was even bigger than it already was but deep down he knew even then they wouldn't leave too much space between each other. Nate was sure that it wasn't just him who was struggling this much, her need for the shower probably not just due to the heat outside and the smell of the bar on her, yet he wondered for a moment if she was torturing him on purpose because she didn't want to be the first to blur the lines even further or if her body was acting mostly on its own as well. His mouth was too dry to speak right away, swallowing in an attempt to actually say something at least but words certainly didn't come easy to him right now. Did he want her to get dressed, whether that would be in his clothes or the dress she had been wearing earlier? Or did he actually not truly mind that she was only wearing a towel? It definitely hadn't been his intention earlier but now he wasn't so sure anymore. "Mm, no, that doesn't make sense, I can get you something to wear." He offered before he - a little absentmindedly - kissed a few drops of water off her shoulder, only leaning back a little to look at her again but not actually moving away or getting up to do what he'd just offered. "You think a shirt will do? Or do you need some shorts as well?" Nate whispered against her lips after he'd leaned closer to kiss her for yet another time, obviously unable to resist at least her lips for too long.

Serena: The air was charge with enough tension to possibly last them a lifetime, not that there had not already been plenty of those scenarios before - most of them going way back to their teens when Serena had boldly teased him, but back then it had always just been a game, albeit occasionally one she would have liked to loose. Now it wasn’t a game, not was it calculated and yet, the situation felt oddly similar, only this time both of them tried to restrain themselves. For a second the world stopped moving when her lips connected to the naked skin of her shoulder and Serena was sure the shaky breath that followed was telling him more than she wanted him to know about his effect on her body right now. Similarly she would have answered his question but how was she going to focus on getting dressed when all she really wanted for him to also loose his clothes and to go back on absolutely everything they’d promised each other earlier. It was suddenly hard to see why they thought restraint was the way to go after all this time anyways. Her lips eagerly welcomed his, for the first time actually allowing herself to not only project feelings but all of her desires into that kiss as her tongue met his in a moment that grew hungrier by the minute. Pulling away for a moment, primarily to catch her breath the blondes head fell back against the headrest of the couch, ironically enough providing him with a perfect view of her neck and peak of her breast as she closed her eyes for a moment. “…I really didn’t come here to have sex with you!” She exclaimed weakly before she looked at him and sighed, knowing that she’d possibly have to clarify her words. “I mean god…I want this, you..so badly, but that’s not what I was hoping for…!” Her words were barely coherent as she tried to grapple with all the emotions she felt in that moment. “All I know is that this feels right, but it’s also everything we said we wouldn’t do…!”

Nate: The kiss they just shared had him almost close to throwing even the last bit of hesitation out the window, so close to just pulling her onto his lap and screwing those rules they set for themselves. That was also why a small sound of protest left his lips when she broke away from the kiss, although it probably saved them both from doing what they at least initially didn't want to do. Right now he just didn't know if that was still what he truly wanted. "I know. Otherwise we'd be doing it already." Nate then admitted once he was finally able to lift his gaze from her exposed neck that he suddenly felt the urge to place kisses all over just so he'd hear her take another shaky breath before he grinned slightly despite his words being an honest statement that probably both of them knew was true. Not that Serena would've been to blame for it because every situation in the past as well happened due to a decision they both made. Or at least due to something they both acted on. And it was safe to say they'd always been a little horny for each other. But this was not just that. Yes, he was undeniably horny but he was longing to feel her soft, hot skin against his, to explore her body as if he'd never done so before, and he also wanted all the post-sex moments, the cuddles, the sweet nothings they'd whisper to each other.... Yeah, it wasn't just about sex, it was about so much more than that. "If it wasn't obvious yet - I want you just as badly and I can't remember why we tried to convince ourselves that this specific kind of slow was the way to go once again." He then said, his voice a little softer yet there was still a hint of amusement in it considering he was obviously referring to how when they had started dating in the past obviously failed at taking it slow then too. "Maybe we just need to... get it out of our system and then... go slow?" Sober Nate would probably realize that this sounded a little ridiculous (or did it really because was it really such a wrong thing if it actually felt right?) but he allowed the question to hang in the air between them and actually waited for her reaction.

Serena: "I think that is exactly what we did last time...!" Serena teased him as she let her eyes wander towards him again, having averted his gaze for a moment mostly to avoid the little grin that was playing on his lips and was so evident in his eyes as well. There was a boyish charm about him that she assumed would never quit leave, that twinkle in his eyes that made his innocence evaporate into thin air. It did feel slightly torturous though, what they were doing here and perhaps what she should do is get dressed again and just go home, sleep in her own bed and not risk the chance of messing this up, but...somehow that also did not really feel like an option. She knew the likely hood of them giving in now and 'getting it out of their system' was slim, they had not been with each other, explored each others bodies in years and she could not exactly deny that the thought of him had crossed her mind in that time - but imagining and actually getting to reconnect was something completely different and something told her if anything if they'd cross the line it'd be terribly hard if not impossible to get back to innocence. "Are you sure this is what you want?" She asked him quietly, not a no to his question but in reverse also only a yes if he was absolutely certain that this was the right thing for them to do, rings still on her finger and all...

Nate: His gaze locked with hers when her question reached his ears, his answer not something he needed to really think about because it was a definite yes. The only thing he wasn't sure of for a moment was whether it should come with a 'but' or not. Sure, there were some worries that had crossed his mind earlier and before that when they'd talked about the possibility of a future together. At that time, Dan hadn't even suggested a trial separation and it had been all very hypothetically but that did change. Yes, she was still married, she still had to finalize things - even have the conversation that would lead there and the possible divorce would take some time for legal reasons anyway but did that really mean they had to stay away from each other? Especially when they both somehow felt that being here was right? One thing he knew for sure was that he didn't want to make decisions based on anyone else's standards, on what other people thought was right or would work or should be. The issues they had in the past weren't a result of them moving too fast, there were entirely different reasons why they hadn't worked out. Maybe it was wrong for others, maybe things wouldn't work for a different couple if they gave into the sexual tension too fast but it actually had almost caused a rift between them back then because they allowed somebody else to tell them what was right or wrong. So, he settled on no 'but'. "Yes, it is what I want." Maybe calling it 'getting it out of their system' was wrong, even foolish to believe in the sense that if they went there, it would be difficult to not do it again for some time but if he was honest with himself, he actually didn't think there was anything wrong with it. Which was maybe retracting some of the things he had said earlier but those were worries that would actually keep him from what he truly wanted and he felt like it was time to allow himself to live a little and maybe put himself first for once as well.

Serena: He was clearly considering his answer carefully, actually thinking about her question rather than just saying yes for the sake of instant gratification and that alone reassured Serena that, yes, this wasn’t as wrong as other people would make them believe it was. Similarly to the first time around, when they had been content until people had started meddling. “in that case it’s a shame you didn’t join me in that shower like you wanted to….!” She teased him softly, no denying that she had thought of exactly that while she had been under the hot stream of water, part of her wanting and somewhat hoping he’d open the door again to join her - breaking their self imposed rule that they had now decided on disregarding anyways. The food on the table was equally forgotten, the only evident hunger in the room their apparent lust for each other, though she thought it was more than just lust, though clearly it was at the forefront of the conversation right now. They’d both gotten older since the last time they’d been in a situation like this, where it was so obvious that they’d both allow themselves to act on their physical attraction, but Serena had in no sense lost any of her confidence, at least not when it came to Nate it seemed, as she stood up from the couch, still holding onto the blanket and towel until she wasn’t, the fabric falling onto the floor leaving her in nothing but panties in front of him. “Show me how much you want me…!” The blonde whispered against his ear as she leant down, her words not only exactly what she wanted him to do, but also what she needed - only that this time she also knew that her need to feel desired came from an actual place of longing and not just from a need to feel something, anything.

Nate: Her teasing words caused a grin to appear on his face, not at all surprised that she knew he’d been fighting himself earlier to stay away from the bathroom and that it indeed had been a struggle. He figured his reaction was confirmation enough that he too thought it was a shame so he didn’t acknowledge it through spoken words as well. Plus, maybe a part of him felt like shower sex sounded too much of a quickie and while that would’ve been satisfying for sure, he wanted their second first time to be more. His gaze never once left Serena, following each movement with anticipation as his breathing grew a little heavier when the towel and blanket finally dropped to the ground, mouth slightly open while his eyes took in the sight in front of him. Her body had become more… feminine (if that were possible) since the last time he’d seen her (almost) naked, the tan from that time spent in the Hamptons still visible and Nate once again knew he’d never been drawn to anyone the way he was drawn to this mesmerizingly beautiful woman right in front of him. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment when she whispered into his ear, gentle goosebumps covering his skin instantly. “With pleasure,” he whispered back, moving his head to kiss her again, only that this time, he didn’t hold back at all. All of his longing, years if not decades of pining for this to happen, the anticipation, his feelings for her… a mix of it was transferred into the kiss, leaving him breathless when he forced himself to pull back again so he could gesture for her to stand up tall again. Even though he’d planned to move from the couch now as well, he couldn’t resist placing a few kisses against her hipbone before he finally got up as well. Grabbing the hem of his shirt, he pulled it over his head before he smoothly removed his pants as well, now standing with the same amount of clothing in front of her. It was only fair if she’d stripped down that he’d too, right? Though he didn’t gave her as much time as he had to take the moment in, his lips crashing against hers again as his hands grabbed her thighs to lift her up, motioning for her to wrap her legs around him before he carried her upstairs to his bedroom. The bed was still the same as he’d left it this morning, unmade and yesterdays clothes scattered on the floor but he hardly cared about that right now. She was the only thing that mattered. He was gentle when he climbed into bed with her, her back now hitting the mattress as he hovered over her, lips moving to her neck and further down until his tongue circled her nipple all while his fingers teasingly caressed her belly before they finally moved down further and disappeared beneath the fabric of her panties, stroking her folds lightly.

Serena: Serena had always been confident, mens reaction to her and her body a constant companion and somewhat of a crutch for years, starting in her teens all through her young adulthood and admittedly still something she partially fed off of today; knowing you could invoke a physical reaction from someone, intentionally or not, was powerful knowledge after all. It hardly ever truly affected her though, never had - possibly a result of too many nights or teenage debauchery where her body and sex had almost been a currency, or perhaps she’d gotten used to playing into the fantasy of men over the years - though none of it compared to the moment she could feel Nate’s eyes taking in every inch of her body. If she didn’t know better, if the memories of previous days and Nate’s spent with him were not still present in her mind she could have sworn he was taking her in for the very first time, the flutter in her stomach supporting that theory. The blonde would have protested to how little time she had to let her eyes and fingers get reacquainted with his frame, but it was hard to do when his lips were on hers, her legs wrapped around him and she was no longer quite sure where he ended and she began. His touch was light and airy, both his tongue on her breasts and his fingers below the fabric of her underwear, not hesitant but soft and teasing - though he hardly needed to touch her at all for her body to react to his, the heat pooling between her legs proving just that. While she remember what it had felt like to be with him when they were younger, she hardly remember what he felt like, her hands refamilisrising them self with his body as her fingertips traced the lines of his back and shoulder, anything she could reach and hold onto in this moment, nails occasionally digging into his skin, especially whenever his tongue sent a jolt through her body, back arching into his touch. “Look at me!” She rasped softly, encouraging him to stop what he was doing at least for a moment - no matter how much pleasure it brought her. “…I want to remember this!” She whispered against his lips when he did face her again, her tongue teasingly brushing over his lower lip for her moment before her teeth grazed the soft skin. “I want to remember every inch of your body…and every inch of you…!”

Nate: Her reactions to his touch, to him were addicting, every inch of him enjoying the feeling they evoked, craving so much more of it. Part of him already wished they could stay in this moment forever because it just felt like this was where they belonged. It was all kinds of exciting to get to explore her for another time, it felt so familiar yet so different and new - in all the best ways and it was just as thrilling to feel her do the same with his body. The way he trembled lightly beneath her touch indicated that he wanted more; needed more but when she stopped him and made him look at her, he obeyed to her wish slowing down even more for a moment to lock eyes with her. A soft sigh slipped from Nate's lips, a combined reaction to her words which held the promise that this night would indeed be special and her tongue that teasingly touched his lip. Nate held her gaze for another moment, the look in his eyes telling her more than the words he was lacking right now even could; he wanted to remember this too, more than he ever wanted to remember anything before and it didn't even matter if this was the start of something he'd been wanting for so long now or if it wasn't. For now, for tonight, it was just her and him. So instead of saying anything, he kissed her again, tenderly at first before he deepened it - only pulling back so he could finally take off her panties, and just to keep the level of clothing on their body fair, also get rid of his boxers at the same time. This time, as he now kneeled next to her on the bed, he gave her a little more time to let her gaze roam over his body, just to give her what she'd asked for, grabbing her hand and placing it on his chest so she could feel his heartbeat, and then slowly guiding it a little lower to his abs - those obviously being the newest feature since the last time she'd seen him naked. He'd always had an athletic body, which honestly came with the territory of being the captain of almost every sports team at St. Jude's but it had never been trained the way it was now. Perks of having a gym inside the apartment complex' which he lived in and his workouts being the only actual free time he seemed to get on the regular.

Serena: The mix of the incredibly familiar with the unfamiliar was intoxicating - it had been similar when they’d last gotten back together, the memory of their very first night spent together overwritten then  by new memories, only to now meld into a completely new chapter altogether. Nates assertiveness and confidence was perhaps what had grown the most over the years, his own awareness of his effect not just in her but on women an obvious trait - and one she was all too eager to witness, especially if it meant he’d give her all this time to let her eyes roam over his naked body only to encourage her fingers to explore his naked chest, his heartbeat matching hers as she paused to just feel the heat of his skin underneath her finger tips for a moment. When he slowly guided her hand lower she couldn’t help but grin at him, frankly not expecting him to stop when her touch reached his abs though it was clear that he’d put many hours into this version of his body and she’d be lying if she’d deny that she more than appreciated it, her gaze following the lines of her fingers as she traced his muscles, following the line all the way down to the v of his hips, eyes flickering up to meet his for a moment before she confidently let her hand brush his length, fingertip tracing the underside of him before she wrapped her fingers around him, strokes slow but deliberate - the ultimate goal not to tease since something told her they’d possibly have the rest of the night to explore, manipulate, tease and tire each other out, but for not she wanted to, as she had said, feel him. “How often have you thought of this?” The blonde asked, not a taunting question but a serious one.

Nate: It was incredibly rewarding to watch her take everything of him in now, his eyes not once straying from her face to see every little reaction. Sometimes he wondered how all of his senses always seemed so… heightened when he was with her but he really liked the feeling. No matter how many other sexual experiences he’s had, nothing came close to this. Nate grinned back at her, knowing what she assumed his next move would be but also liking that she took her time instead, just like he’d silently asked her to. But when she finally reached where he’d been craving her touch the most, a little moan escaped him as his teeth slowly sunk into his lower lip and he closed his eyes for a moment. The question lingered between them for a moment, not because he didn’t want to answer it but because he was a little too lost in the moment to actually form a coherent sentence. “Too many times.” He then admitted, his voice a little hoarse as his gaze now met hers again, moving slightly from his current position so he could lean down and kiss her again. “I’ve been thinking about and longing for this for a really long time but I guess that’s kind of our thing.” He whispered against her lips, grinning for a moment because it wasn’t the first time he’d made a similar confession and he was sure they both remembered it still before he kissed her, once again demonstrating his longing for her through it as his hand reached for hers again, pushing it down into the mattress above her head, interlacing their fingers while he moved from his spot next to her back to his previous position between her legs. He knew they’d both been ready long before they’d even consciously made the decision to go all the way tonight, and waiting longer than he already had to feel all of her felt like torture so Nate didn’t hesitate to push her legs open just a little more and position himself at her entrance, pushing into her slowly. “Oh, Serena…” He lowered his head, trembling with an effort to go slow as his lips brushed over the soft skin of her neck before he filled her completely with one hard thrust, groaning against her skin. If he had been a little overwhelmed by the sensations earlier, he was now lost in a whirlwind of pleasure, the intensity of it, desperately craving more while at the same time wanting to savor every second and go as slow as possible, caused him to hold still for a moment to allow them both to enjoy the sensations rushing through their bodies. His fingers gripped onto hers a bit tighter when he could no longer resist the urge to begin moving again, thrusts still slow but hard as he lifted his head to look at her.

Serena: There was a quality to his deliberate movements, to the slowness of his actions. They were not underlined by uncertainty, doubt, or any kind of hesitating, they were punctuated by determination and a certain kind of force that was just bold enough to take her breath away. He was gentle without concern, at least not the kind of concern that she’d break under his touch, but much rather gentle for the sake of savouring the moment and each other. Although he had paused for a moment after the overwhelming sensation after he had thrust into her and yet it felt like she barely hard time to adjust to the sensation - to adjust to him in that moment. Her eyes met his, an encouraging twinkle in them that was only underlined by little gasps for air, all her senses filling with just him as she locked eyes with his, her body encouraging him to explore hers further, long legs adjusted to feel even more of him, her hand that he wasn’t holding differing into the muscles in his back, all while her hips shifted against his, meeting his thrust with an equal intensity, if not silently begging for more.

Nate: Though the encouragement wasn’t necessarily needed, it was still an absolute turn-on to have this additional confirmation that she was craving more as much as he was. There was no need to be shy or to hold back and boy, did he explore her body - touching, biting, licking, caressing, thrusting, whispering words of affirmation into her ear - all of it turning this night into something that would be forever theirs. A night worth remembering no matter what the future was holding for them. And yet, when they were done exploring each other like it was the first time all over again and their bodies were finally all tired out but satisfied, Nate couldn’t help but hope it wouldn’t be the last time he’d fall asleep with her in his arms.

[blueathens]

Autumn 2021

-Unrequited Love Series-                                       

                                 CHAPTER 3

Song: Why Won’t You Love Me by 5SOS Quote: “I Love You.”

TW: Blood, Mentions of Smut

Masterlist//Dusk Till Dawn Masterlist//Agape Masterlist

Mason blinked in surprise at the woman in front of him.

“A date?” He asked, making sure he heard correctly.

“Yeah.” Y/n grinned, nodding as she bounced on the balls of her feet, hands behind her back. “A date…as friends.”

Mason felt his heart drop to his stomach at the word ‘friends.’ Maybe he thought wrong that she could like him back. He took looked at her with a poker face whilst the inside of him was like a tornado of emotions. A vein popped out of his neck as the excitement that once filled his face went into sadness. He ducked his head, shaking his head as he frowned. ‘How could he be so stupid to think that she could like him back?’ He thought to himself, cursing at himself for thinking such things.

Y/n pointed twiddled with her thumbs in front of her nervously as she noticed Mason’s expression. “I-It’s just yesterday you basically said you didn’t want it to be just sex so I thought maybe today we can go on a date as friends.”

His head looked back up, shoulders rolling back, sighing slightly before placing a fake smile onto his face. “Can I still kiss you?” He asked her shyly, one eye closed as he looked at her.

Y/n let out a small giggle and Mason felt his heart flutter at the sound of it.

“Course, I’d be crazy to stop you.” Her right thumb then pointed behind her. “I’m really craving ice-cream.”

For a day in August you would expect and ice cream parlour to be busy, but not this one, this one was something Y/n and Mason found ages ago when they ran away from paparazzi. ‘Frosties’ (the name of the parlour) was always a favourite spot for the two, but they stopped going because of their relationship relying on sex after Y/n gave them that label. But here they were in the purple, black, grey, and white parlour, sharing the same side of the booth, Mason’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. Y/n was eating a waffle with mango ice-cream, talking to Mason about her career whilst Mason ate his chocolate ice-cream, listening to the person who he would call the love of his life talk passionately about her job.

“I’ve wrote some songs for my new album but, unfortunately, I don’t have any inspiration for what to do for rest of the album. Half of its unfinished and my manager wants an update on my album.”

“Talk about what you love.” He shrugged licking the melted ice-cream that was running down his waffle cone with sprinkles on it.

Y/n snorted as she took another bite of her dessert. “Everyone talks about love and heartbreak. I want something different.”

“Not all love and heartbreaks the same, maybe talk about your life, perhaps how great of a friend I am.”

Y/n patted his hand that was playing with the end of her hair. “You are a pretty good friend.”

“I’m an amazing friend!”

Mason never hated a word more than that six-letter word.

Y/n leaned her hand against his hand, pressing a light kiss to his fingers as she turned her head to look at it before turning back. Mason heart went faster as he saw the sight of her, so calm and everything.

“You could write down whatever your feeling right now.” Mason suggested. “You look calm.”

“Because I am.” She muttered. “You make me feel calm.”

His smiled slightly at that knowing that she only meant it as a friend.

She felt like home to him, but he didn’t feel like home to her.

“Write about your happy place.”

“Huh?”

“Songs are like stories, innit? So, describe any story to your fans like the ups and down of fame, a dragon kidnapping a princess, a love story so great but in the end they couldn’t be together, just write a story or a poem and make it into something beautiful.”

“Quite the motivational speaker you are.” She tittered.

“Only for you.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her forehead.

The two continued to eat their desserts in comfortable silence.

“Have you ever thought that maybe the dragon kidnapped the princess for her own protection?”

Mason turned his head, smiling at the sound of her voice.

“What?”

“Maybe that’s why they fight so much to keep the princess with them because it’s to protect them. Like think about it, they never cause harm to the princess only to the knights who come to rescue her. The dragon is a protector of-”

“Stop talking.” Mason muttered as he leaned forwards to press a kiss on her lips, her humming happily at the feeling of his lips on hers. His hands cupped her face, rubbing soft circles on her face as he pushed her against the wall at the end of the booth. He bit down onto her bottom lip, causing her to gasp in shock, allowing his tongue to enter and fight hers for dominance. Mixture of chocolate and mango filled Mason’s mouth as his tongue explored her mouth, something he knew very well. Face turning to deepen the kiss further as one of his hands moved to hold the back of her hair.

It was like the world made sense when they kissed, everything falling into the folding together correctly as they kissed, like nothing could destroy this. And Mason wished that it was always like this – he could love her whenever.

But this wasn’t real.

She wasn’t his.

Their lips parted, a small strand of salvia keeping them attached, but it broke and fell onto their chins as Mason rubbed their noses together, sighing happily at the peace he found within her. He stared into her eyes, noticing the different lines of colours that created the things that are able to pull anyone in with one look. They were like black holes as they have the ability to pull anyone in. “Your adorable.” He chuckled before pressing a soft kiss to her swollen lips to taste her once more.

Summer went into autumn quickly. Plants started to die, and leaves started to turn green to different shades of reds, oranges, browns, and yellows. The breeze become harder causing civilians to wrap themselves up in jackets and hats, protecting them selves from the cold winds. Boots crunching against the leaves that scattered the paths, grass, and roads.

Mason stood at a party that Ben, Dec, and Reece dragged him to, he would have been with Y/n if they didn’t drag him out to the party Dele was hosting. The two of them have been going on dates, with the rare occasion of sex between as they were still just friends with benefits who went on dates as it was included with the benefits…much to Mason’s dismay.

He was leaning against the wall his three other mates talking near him, but he didn’t try to hear their conversations, his eyes was just scanning the many footballers and strangers that filled Dele’s house.

“How’s Y/n, Mase?” Dec asked, not fully understanding their relationship but Ben tried to keep him up to date with it as Mason never was going to, and Ben needed someone to rant to about how obvious Y/n is to Mason’s feelings, and how they should be together.

“She’s good.” Mason replied, a smile snaking itself onto his face at the thought of the girl.

“Asked her out yet?”

“It isn’t like that Dec.” Mason shook his head giving out a mirthless laugh at how ridiculous the next few words are going to be. “We’re just friends.”

“Friends.” Ben barked out a loud laugh at how stupid it was. “You two are anything but friends.”

“Yeah, Mase, I don’t sleep with my friends.” Reece added.

“You’re sleeping with her?!” Dec asked loudly as he shot daggers at Ben for not filling him in that part and Ben just shrugged bring the beer bottle towards his lips.

“Who’s Mason sleeping with?” Madders asked as he walked up to the group, fist-pumping Ben as he stands next to his mate.

“His best friend Y/n.” Ben muttered, voice echoing as his lips stayed on the top of his bottle.

James rose his eyebrows looking at Mason. He knew who she was, of course he knew who the famous singer was, but he wasn’t aware they were that type of friends. He also was trying think if Y/n was the Y/n that another mate talks about.

“You aren’t friends if it becomes sexual, Mase. She may have been your best friend before, but she isn’t anymore. You either commit to each other or you both have to admit that you abused your friendship, and it will never be the same again.” Dec told him in a serious tone and James blew out his cheeks.

“Woah, woah, woah.” James said pushing his hands out to stop the conversation. “You’re only sleeping with Y/n right?”

“Yeah.” Nodded Mason.

“Except the fact that he’s been madly in love with Y/n since he met her.” Reece pointed out, smirking when he saw Mason’s cheeks turn a faint pink under the dim lighting.

“He never told me that.” James muttered.

“Who never told you what?”

“Mase I swear to you he didn’t know that you liked him, or he wouldn’t have slept with her.” James tried to assure Mason who now just stared at him with a cold look.

“Who slept with Y/n?” Mason voice went lower with venom, hand clutching onto his bottle tightly.

“Mason, I swear, he wouldn’t have slept with her.” James tried again as he saw how angry Mason was getting. “If he knew you liked her in any way he wouldn’t have slept with her.”

“Who the fuck was it?” Mason barked angrily.

“Jack.”

“Jack?” Ben, Dec, and Reece looked at James with widen eyes whilst Mason shoved his bottle into Reece’s hand when he caught sight of the Birmingham man.

“JACK!” He marched towards him, he clenched his fists, corners of his inner brows were pulled down as creases filled his forehead, veins popped out his neck, forehead and arms, and his face turned a dangerous red.

“Hey Mas-”

THUMP!

Jack’s tumbled backwards slightly when Mason’s fist collided with his cheek.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!” He yelled angrily as he tried to step in front of Mason, but he just pushed him back.

“You slept with Y/n!”

“Ain’t my fault if she’s single mate.” Jack gave a half shrug. “She can sleep with who she likes.”

“I know that.” Mason tugged onto his hair as he let out a frustration groan.

He was aware of the eyes on him and Jack, but he didn’t care. He was also aware how the music died down, but he didn’t care about that either.

“She’s hot anyways.”

Mason pushed him back again, “Shut the fuck up!” Ben and Dec rushed to hold Mason back when they sure him clenching his fists again whilst James and Stones held Jack back. Mason struggled against their holds as he tried to get to Jack, and Jack was doing the same. “You sleep with the one girl that I love. I fought you was my mate, but I guess not.”

Jack froze when he heard Mason say that.

“Mason, I swear to you man, I didn’t know you liked her, if I did I wouldn’t have done it.”

“Whatever.” He scoffed.

Maybe it was harsh as he and Y/n wasn’t together so she could sleep with anyone she likes, even if it hurts Mason. And maybe it was harsh, and Jack never knew about his feelings for her, but hearing Madders say that Jack slept with her triggered the jealousy in the form of a demon inside him. He needed to punch something, and what more would it be if it was the person who slept with Y/n.

“She said you weren’t together.”

“We’re not!”

“I-I wouldn’t have-”

“I fucking love her, man.” Mason whispered, voice husky from his yelling. “I fucking love her.”

“Believe me, I wouldn’t have done anything if I knew that you liked her.”

Mason pushed Ben and Dec of from him, adjusting his jacket back on as the sleeves fell from his shoulders. “What do you know about love huh?” Mason said to Jack bitterly who looked at him with sorry eyes. “All you do is fuck girls and leave them the next day.”

“Mas-”

“You know nothing about her, or me, or my feelings for her so don’t try and apologise.”

“If I knew that you liked her I wouldn’t-” Jack tried to speak but Mason shook his head and walked to the door to leave but he turned around opened his mouth but closed it again before he turned back around to leave.

His hands went to his jean pockets pulling out his phone to ring a specific number.

“Pick up. Pick up. Pick up.” He muttered to the rings.

“Hello?” A tired voice on the other side of the phone asked.

“You fucked Jack!”

Those were not the words Mason wanted to say.

“Excuse me?” Y/n sat up in her bed as she glared into nothing as she listened to Mason’s deep breathing. “So what if I did, we’re not together Mason.”

“I know.” He threaded his fingers through his now messy hair. “I know.” He walked to a wall, leaning his head against it. “I just thought-”

“Thought what? We’re friends with benefits, we can sleep with whoever we please, Mason.”

“What does Jack have that I don’t?”

“He just kept me company when you couldn’t.”

“So, when I didn’t want to have sex with you, you went off with him.”

“We had a fling before our friends with benefits started, so don’t give me any fucking attitude. Then we slept together once this year and that’s all.”

“Jack…” He shook his head in disbelief. “You chose him over me?”

“What am I bloody choosing from?! We’re not together Mason! There’s no choice to it!”

And before Mason could talk back he heard the line being ended and he cried out of anger, dropping his phone as he turned around to punch the wall behind him. The anger turned into pain as he waved his up and down, blood rushing down it from how hard he punched it.

“Mase!” Dec yelled as he looked around before catching sight of the injured man. “Mase!” He ran to him, grabbing his hand after Mason tried to pull it away from him, and inspected the injury. “Let’s get this cleaned up.”

It was September when those arguments happened, him and Jack made up – well Jack apologised, and Mason just brushed it to the side – but Mason hasn’t once heard from Y/n since then and it was November now. He missed her and called her many times, leaving voicemails for her. He also flooded your phone with messages of apologising as she was right they were nothing and Y/n could sleep with whoever.

It was November 24th of 2021, the time was nine pm when he heard a three rapids knocks on the door, followed by another three rapid knocks.

He opened the door and saw her.

She had sleeping bags under her eyes and chapped lips. Hair messy from how many times she pulled her fingers through it, and she was dressed in a tracksuit.

Mason probably looked the same, but to him Y/n still looks beautiful.

She leaned forwards capturing his lips into a kiss as her hands tugged onto his shirt, desperately wanting it off but Mason pushed her off.

“Oh, so I only exist when you need someone.” He laughed bitterly watching how she pursed out her lips. “No calls, no texts, not even a ‘fuck you’ Mason.” He asked in disbelief.

“I didn’t want to talk.”

“Clearly!” He waved his hands between the two of you. “But you obviously want to fuck me.”

“I thought our deal was still on.”

“No I’m calling it off and it never will be on again. For fuck sake,” he ran his hand over his face, “I never wanted it to start to begin with.”

“Then why did you?” She folded her arms, foot tapping as she waited for an answer. “Why did you agree to be friends with benefits with me if you didn’t want it? I wouldn’t have pushed you in doing so and-”

“I’M IN LOVE YOU!”

She stumbled back in shock by what she said, furiously shaking her head no, disagreeing with what he was saying.

“But we’re just friends.”

La Douleur Exquise.

Its French for the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable.

Its like Unrequited Love but it focuses more on the feelings than the people. It focuses on the devasting pain you feel when the person you love the most in the world doesn’t feel the same as you. It’s the feeling of the longing and the hope that one day, one day they might feel the same way you feel about them. But that just hope. Hope’s a dangerous thing as hope can rise our expectations for something, only for it to come crashing down when we see the reality of it. It’s the feeling of your heart being ripped from you and being treaded on before it gets thrown into a pool of depression for you to drown in. It’s the feeling of wanting to be strangers again, but every memory you have with them always haunts you mind, forcing you to forever remember them and love them. It’s the feeling of knowing that they hurt you but you still can’t help to love them.

It’s a real emotion. It’s a real fucked up emotion that causes so much heartbreak around the world as no one prepared them for a heartbreak from someone who was never theirs to be begin with.

“Unrequited love does not die; it’s only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.” – Elle Newmark, The Book of Unholy Mischi

Sometimes Cupid misses the person their trying to aim for causing only one person to fall in love with whilst the other stays oblivious to the love as they was not hit with the arrow of love. And Cupid must have hit Mason before he caught sight of Y/n for the first time, but the arrow just scraped passed Y/n, resulting in him falling madly in love with her whilst she saw him as nothing but a friend.

Unrequited love was like a stab to the chest, the knife twisting inside you the more your beloved rejects you, and Mason thinks he’s on the blink of death right now for holding all this love in, knowing that Y/n didn’t feel the same. Even though it’s torture Mason didn’t mind it because he was in love with Y/n, he’s addicted to her, and would do anything for her.

It was like what’s been said before.

Y/n was the love of Mason’s life, but Mason wasn’t hers.

And that’s that the tragedy of it all, you could love someone with all you got but they might not love you back.

“But all I am to you is an unrequired love.” Mason sniffed as tears welled up in his eyes as he finally came clean to her, finally got the truth out there, and god did it hurt, it hurt like a bitch because he knows she didn’t love him back.

“Mase-” Y/n whispered, unsure of how to respond to his confession.

“I love you ,Y/n. Why do you think I broke up with my long-term girlfriend? It was because I couldn’t love her the way that I love you. Why do you think I haven’t been in relationships since?”

“Mase I can’t do this, I-”

“I love you.” His voice was raw with emotions, desperate for her to say it back.  “I just want you to love me the way that I love you.”

“Why did you never tell me before?” Y/n cried silently as she watched the tears full like waterfalls down her best friend cheeks.

“Because it was too much!” He yelled in frustration. “I couldn’t act like that anymore, like I didn’t love you!”

“Mase-”

His bottom lip quivered whilst his shoulder dropped in recognising of his next words.

“And the worst part of it all is that I know that you don’t feel the same. You don’t love me like I love you.”

“I’m sorry.” She uttered. “I didn’t-”

“I love you.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Just say it back, please.” He begged her, heart longing for her love as he poured all his feelings out for her. “Please.” He sobbed. “Just tell me you love me too.”

“I-I can’t.”

And his eyes flew open as he watched Y/n leave.

His bit down on his lip hard as he watched the love of his life go in the autumn rain, the rain that started before the confession, mirroring how the two 22-year-olds felt, but two sad for different reasons.

His vision become blurry; it was difficult to watch her figure leave. An involuntary whisper left his mouth as he tried to call her back, but it was too quiet to hear. His knees gave in as he fell to onto the hallway floor, his body shaking violently with sobs as he watched the love of his life leave. He wished for her to come back, he wished that he never told her, but now she was going.

“I love you.” He whispered into the harsh rains, but nothing was said back to him.

And that was the horrible bit, sometimes you fall in love with someone who can’t love you back.

And that was what happened with Mason.

A/N: I’m writing a Mason fluff now to cure any broken hearts brb...

                                  𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑜𝑢𝑠 ◁ II ▷ 𝑁𝑒𝑥𝑡