#Astarion has a granddaughter

[spacebarbarianweird]

I can't wait to read about Astarion and sweet Tiri adventuring together but in the meantime... could you please treat us with a drabble when they see each other for the first time after Tiri is old enough to show her personality? A little girl who would love unicorns being left alone with her sarcastic vampire grandpa for a moment, the only grandparent she has.

You've sent me so many requests and I barely wrote any of them. So here is a treat and a sneak into the future where Astarion finds himself in a company of his granddaughter Tiri (Tiriel) Goldenroot and her pet dragon Aurix!

Astarion's Little Fire

Summary: This story is set 25 years after the events of the Mortal Bounds Series (which I haven't finished yet) and this drabble will be part of the final chapter. Alethaine Ancunin defeats the demons, avenges her dhampir cousins, marries her thiramin Elren Goldenroot, and together they become the first High King and High Queen of the Elves. They name their only daughter Tiriel in honor of Alethaine’s mother - and the red-headed ranger is ready to see the world on her own

Tags: dadstarion, dhampirs, fluff, Astarion's granddaughter

Alethaine's age: 325 Baby Tiri's age: 23

Thanks @themadlu for beta-reading!

Read on AO3

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion watches the night skies. The sea is stormy and the relentless winds howl through Darknest, home of the Blood guild, the unlikely alliance between the few dhampirs left and vampires. Hopefully, none of them are Cazador's spawns. 

Astarion loves being in charge. He loves being in control. He is the oldest of all of them and they watch him with respect.

Astarion opens his arm embracing the cold wind.

340 years of being free. Cazador tortures are left in the past. The years of freedom that followed the Netherbrain’s defeat eventually wiped away the torture of the previous decades.

Astarion was married. He loved his wife with all his selfish, undead heart. Tiriel died. Yes, she did die almost two centuries ago yet Astarion keeps seeing her whenever he trances. It’s always painful to come back to the reality where Tiriel doesn’t even have a grave.

She had red hair.

Freckles.

She was loud and funny. Kind. Loving. Fierce and brave. 

Alethaine, their daughter, is nothing like her. Astairon smiles. He rarely sees his daughter anymore. The cursed elven kingdom separated them. Alethaine followed her husband and her people, and the strong magic of the Isle of Evermeet doesn't tolerate the presence of the undead like himself. 

Actually, Astarion has seen her only once in the last twenty-five years. Alethaine came to Darknest as a Queen, with guardians, obedient to her will. She didn’t need them, but oh, did she love having them around to highlight her new position.

Astaron raised his princess right.

And even his biggest fear didn’t come true! He was afraid his daughter would be alone. That he doomed his princess to a lifetime of loneliness and misery.  But it seems like all elves are created in pairs. For Alethaine the necromancer there is Elren the monster slayer. 

Astarion doesn't like admitting it, but he adores his son-in-law. And he knows Tiriel would have loved him too, should half-elves have been blessed with longer life spans. 

Besides, Elren deserves respect for not being afraid to be around a vampire. 

Suddenly, Astarion's undead feelings stir.

There is someone alive in the castle. Some unfortunate soul has decided to hide from the storm in Darknest. 

The presence of warm blood is like a drug to an addict. Astarion is already sensing the other vampires moving through the halls.

Astarion crawls up the ceiling. None of the vampires would dare attack a visitor (Astarion has standards and the guild has rules), but whoever has come better not tease the dead.

He quickly moves to the main hall.

Yes, the prey is there.

The fireplace casts shadows on the walls. And there are two living creatures.

A small dragon, the size of a cat, sleeps peacefully on the burning wood, snoring like a kitten.

“Oh…” Astarion hears a girlish voice. “Hi!”

The intruder is a young elven girl barely adult enough to leave her home. She is five feet tall and her red hair is loose. A pair of green eyes study Astarion without fear. 

She wears traveling clothes made of the finest elven fabric; her cloak is adorned with elven symbols. The only odd thing about her is a macabre head circlet with a small skull.

The girl’s ears twitch as she puts her bow behind her back. The dragon stretches and jumps out from the fireplace. It crawls up the girl's shoulder and watches Astarion with curiosity.

“Hi,” the girl repeats. Her heart races faster. She starts getting scared. 

The heart…

Astarion jumps on the floor and moves closer to the girl. 

He recognizes this heartbeat though he heard it only once, twenty-five years ago.

When he was carrying a weak and wounded Alethaine back from the battlefield.

The second heartbeat in his daughter’s belly. 

“Well, I suppose only my granddaughter, Tiriel Goldenroot, could break into a vampire castle,” he chuckles.

“It's your castle and your guild and technically I can come without an invitation,” Tiri says.

Atsarion gives out a laugh. All these years he was imagining the first time he would meet his baby granddaughter. What he would tell her, what she would look like.

Tiri opens her arms and hugs him.

She is warm like a fireplace and her heart is loud like a dragon’s roar.

Little Fire, Astarion remembers. Alethaine and Elren call her Little Fire.

The small dragon finally gets bored of sitting in the fireplace and crawls to Tiri.

“Oh, and this is Aurix.” She grabs the dragon as if it were a kitten and pushes it into the Astarion's arms. The dragon seems made of warm stones. “I can stay here with you, right?”

… They spend the next day talking. Tiri listens to all his stories with her eyes wide open, and by the time the storm ends, Astarion has promised her that he will leave the castle and guild to some of his subordinates and would follow her to the mainland. 

Astarion is amused by how much of a vampire Tiri ISN’T. She is mortal, she is scared of the dark and of cursed places. Spiders, skeletons, and skulls disgust her, and Tiri even admits she has never been to her mother’s dungeon. 

“I like the woods,” Tiri says. “O’Su taught me how to survive there if I am on my own. O’si tried to teach me how to identify the undead and the ghouls but… well it didn’t end well,” she adds.

When Tiri gets tired and falls into a trance curled by the fireplace in Astarion’s room, the vampire returns to the main hall where a few of the guild members are already hiding from the sun.

In all honesty, it would be fun to become an adventurer once again.

“Anyone scares her,” Astarion says, “and I will make sure your limbs won’t regenerate. Also,  I am also leaving. Who wants to be in charge?”

**

Tiri thinks she hears the sounds of а bloodbath from below.

Darknest is creepy, but what did she expect by deciding to visit her grandfather? 

What really surprises her is how warm it is inside. 

Of course, the undead and dhampirs are always freezing. Vampires can’t warm themselves up and are attracted to fireplaces like moths to lights. And dhampirs have cold hands. 

Tiri’s mother, High Queen Alethaine, wraps herself in thick black fabric even on the hottest days and she actually enjoyed looking after Aurix’s egg in the fire when he was hatching – meanwhile, Tiri would feel dizzy after a minute spent there. 

Tiri hears Astaron’s voice – he’s encouraging his subordinates to fight. 

The voice causes a memory to materialize – Tiri has started reliving real events only recently and the experience bewilders her.

In this memory, Tiri is only 5 and she’s just had the biggest revelation in her short life.

“O’si,” she whispers to her mother who sits in a chair and is engrossed in some ancient book. 

“What is it, Little Fire?” Alethaine asks, closing the book as if its contents weren’t meant for the child’s eyes. 

Tiri doesn’t answer and crawls onto her mother's lap. Then, she presses her ear to Alethaine’s chest. 

“Why don’t you breathe?” Tiri asks. 

Alethaine caresses her ears. “Well, because I am a dhampir. Do you know what vampires are?”

Tiri gives an answer. Scary creatures, dead slaves to their hunger, cursed spawns of the darkness. That’s what they say in stories.

And then another revelation happens.

“My dad, your grandpa, can’t come here because he is a vampire. He died many centuries ago and ever since he has to drink blood and hide from the sun. My mum, Tiriel, I named you after her. She saved him from his master and they lived together. I am half-undead. That’s why I don’t breathe and can bring you down the tree when you get stuck.”

“But you are an elf!”

“I am. As is your grandpa. You will meet him when you grow up. He is a menace,” she laughs, baring her fangs.

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[lassieposting]

Concept:

You are Bhaal, god of murder, and someone is praying to you.

And that's not necessarily unusual. Lots of people pray to you, usually for the untimely death of a rival, an ex-spouse, an overseer. The prayer itself is a small and broken thing, bloody and raw, whispered by a man whose vision is dulled by agony and the dark spectre of approaching death. The pathetic not-quite-survivor of some rather brutal torture, wishing murder upon his captor. You take a moment to enjoy the fear, the pain, the suffering - and then you tune him out. There are millions like him, and your favour is for those willing to do their killing themselves. Besides, that wretch will be nothing but a corpse all too soon.

Except...he doesn't die. You never feel that timid little spark of existence stutter and go out. Far beyond the breaking point of a mortal body, this one lingers on, clinging to being with fingers all but stripped back to bare bone.

It's intriguing enough to warrant a second look and - interesting. The prayer comes from a vampire, a pretty little corpse becoming an even prettier corpse under the skilled hand of a cruel master.

It is not in your nature to intervene. You favour the strong, not the weak. The master, not the slave. Your first instinct is to leave the wretched little thing to his fate.

But the thing is. Your child - your favourite child, shaped from your own flesh, coldest and most brutal of your progeny - has gone and got a boyfriend.

And you don't like him.

You don't like the effect he's having on your chosen, the way they're becoming distracted, attached, less devoted to their true purpose. And right now, your nature takes a back seat to your desire to get rid of that smug, arrogant little Baanite whelp, Enver Gortash. Your granddaughter's spiteful machinations have given you an opening, but you know they're bound to run into one another eventually, and it will all start over.

The vampire is beautiful. Well-trained. Accustomed to brutality. Already purged of sympathy and compassion, eaten up inside by hatred and bitterness and harm. And immortal; able to survive the worst of your son's inclinations. At this point, he'll do.

So you redirect a nautiloid. It's not that you're showing the creature any favour - it's just pragmatism, really. He is simply a tiny piece of a very large puzzle.

And then you watch.

You watch the vampire take the spectacular murder of a young bard in stride.

You watch him identify your memory-addled, sanity-challenged offspring as the most dangerous one in their sad little group of unwashed tragedies - the strongest protector, the solution to his fear of being discarded or returned to his master.

You watch him expertly lure your progeny into a pit trap of sex and lies and manipulation, dressed up with honeyed words and an exaggerated performance of desire.

Your child comes face to face with Enver Gortash and remembers nothing - feels nothing. They only have eyes for Astarion, and you are filled with satisfaction. The vampire is pathetic and fearful now, but already he plans to take over his master's ritual, and then he will be perfectly placed to feed your child's very worst impulses, to bring out the sharpest edge of the darkness inside.

You watch the vampire say, "I want us to be real."

You watch your child happily become a glorified comfort blanket, your masterwork living weapon reduced to little more than a prey animal, a do-gooder, a sacrifice.

Watch them vow, "I will be the person you see in me."

Watch them talk the blasted creature out of going through with the ritual at all.

Watch them start fighting their own nature for the pantomime love of someone else's broken toy.

Watch them turn on you.

And you decide, with the benefit of hindsight, that Enver Gortash was not that bad, actually.

[thievinghippo]

Saw a post yesterday that reminded me of an idea I had that I really want to try out

Meet Bertha. She's seventy-eight years old and retired. Fifty years ago, she was part of one of the most popular bands in Faerun. She had a very brief and very unhappy marriage with the lead singer of the band, but she got a wonderful daughter out of it, so she doesn't complain too much. Especially since he had the decency to die of mysterious circumstances after only two years of marriage (She testified under oath that she didn't have anything to do with his demise. She was almost telling the truth)

These days, she mostly babysits her great grandchildren. And does a lot of knitting to keep her fingers limber, as playing the flute still gives her a great deal of joy

She was on her way to Neverwinter to visit her grandson when she was kidnapped. (She has two grandchildren. A granddaughter who married young and already has two children of her own, and a grandson who is a 1st year professor of sorcery at the Eltorchul Academy)

Bertha immediately became the team mom, with a soft spot for Astarion, because he actually saw her perform in Baldur's Gate fifty years ago

She will romance no one (but might hook up with Halsin, we'll see). But her ultimate goal, besides saving the world? Is deciding which of her new friends she'll set up with her grandson!

[joshriku]

What are your favorite fics you've read in the past year?

hi thank you for asking i love to talk about fics i read. im so sorry you didn't specify a fandom so i'm going to talk about everything i favorited this year so far lol. i am currently reading this cherik fic called exit wounds by lemonadegarden and i cannot stress enough how good it is. the worldbuilding, the politics, the characters, the storytelling, the emotions, just so so good. please read it if you are a cherik liker. i love it. i haven't finished it yet but omg. not in any particular order

the patch of sand where we buried the dog by shroomyystar: this fic is about luna and erik running into each other and getting ice cream. it should be normal but it's magneto family you know it's fucking insane. you don't even understand the luna and erik brainrot i gained from reading this i was like oh my god his granddaughter.. magnificent character work. to me the magneto family in comics have such a special specific dynamic and it's so well nailed here. it's crazy

make the fire rise by frozencinders: alright i don't go to baldur's gate 3 but i know enough about wyll and astarion and i really like this author so i might as well read their wyllstarion do you feel me. it's about yearning and romance novels and vampires and everything u could ever ask for. i loved it sm. one of my favorite things about this is the narration, like the way the thoughts flow so easily while keeping in beat with the character voice and making u feel so earnest..... gorgeous.......

what's the point in playin' a game you're gonna lose by shroomyystar: raven/irene in regard to the x-men blue origins revelation. raven being so fucking mad at irene but also so deeply in love with her to the point it's the same thing. when i say toxic yuri this is exactly what i mean it's exactly raven trying to kill her and thinking it's like having sex. that's EXACTLY what i mean.

gravity felled the apple (but the spiders stuck around) by maroonmusings: insomniac spider-man 2, peter gets to keep the teaching job and everyone thinks he has a favorite student (miles) which creates some drama until they figure it out a little too well. it's so fucking good. when i read peter parker, i want him to sound exactly like this. the character voices.. the non-canon characters perfectly fitting in this... the entire spider-man cast playing very well in this fic.. THE DIALOGUE! writing peter is such an art but this person GETS it.

taste the way that you bleed by maroonmusings: peter parker/astarion based on that one time they made a joke about it. again i don't go to bg3 but fantastic character work, it's literally so in character it totally sold me on this pairing - not that i need much convincing for crackships. that's just who i am brother.i fucking loved this so much.

Some Catching Up to Do by magicasen: jean/wanda! jean/wanda set in x-men first class. it's so fucking good and funny, it feels incredibly in character to the xmfc versions of them. it's such a feel-good fic about them in that period of time too, and pietro's cameos were too fucking funny. i love girls being girls and being in love :(

lech lecha by ferriswheelsdayoff: hosea matthews character analysis it will blow your tits off. i'm still floored by the amount of work into each line and how it's connected to real world teachings and how it manages to weave all of hosea's important relationships while analyzing him too. saur good

take what you give me by magentateam_bplot: storm/magneto. THIS is the sub erik type of shit i enjoy. magnificent characterization of both of them i could easily read 9k of it 1k was too little!!!

Girls' Nights by EmilyArmadillo: gabby bonding with vault laura!!!!!!! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD IDEA like i wish we actually had gabby's reaction to talon? i mean ofc that's asking too much from duggan, or for duggan to care, but this person delivered so well. everything was so well implemented, even the bit where the other laura kinney sees her and leaves the room. ahhh so good

Graveside by NotesFromSarah: the aftermath of erik burying anya after the fire, and then him and the twins coming together to visit her burial place. i thought this was amazing and heartbreaking and also a very groundbreaking magneto fam style for me..... not a lot of fics focused on them during the 80s, which is a good place for them to be somewhat normal around each other, and this fic does such a good job of using tragedy to join them without disregarding their past. gorgeoussss

Last Chance by Lefaym: my notes on this says 'old man sex heart hands' and it's exactly that. doomed timeline cherik from dofp have such a special heart to me even if i don't go much to moviesparts as i did before and oh my god... it's about that longing that regret that they're running out of time and also your hip being sore so you can't really hold a sex position. i love it.

Speed of Silence, Sound of Silence by neverminetohold: x-men evolution pietro & erik. something goes wrong and pietro thinks he's going to be scolded, but erik doesn't scold him. 'His quickening stride screams of his wish to escape this moment that is as far removed from a lecture as it can get.

That defines their relationship in a nutshell. Will they never be able to move beyond this?' you don't even get it im insane. im insane. im insane

chatoyant by unsungillumination: this fic is the best use of the fake dating trope that's ever existed, probably because the main protagonists of this are light and L death note. L and Light get in a relationship for strategic reasons until light gives up the death note, forgetting it is strategic, and believes it's actually real. it's so fucking good. also devastating

Drive. by MissAmyShay: the bear fic. insane. carmy and richie reconciliation, nat and richie flashback to when mikey was first declared dead, nat richie bonding, nat giving birth, donna mentions. what else could i even ask for. it's amazing. i don't even need to read any other fics

telltale by unsungillumination: L haunts light after his death. it's literally ruining light's life. this is my favorite thing in the world i love a good fic about grief and about fucked up soulmates who are not soulmates in a traditional way. i recently finished death note after leaving it on standby for a decade and i'm thriving

This Is How I Disappear by TzviaAriella: kira gets found out. he gets sentenced to death row. he asks the task force to shoot him. it's literally the most haunting fic in the world and i'm so so so so obsessed with it i kinda wanna reread it but it's like devastating and most of all GOOD

they both die at the end by unsungillumination: when i say i love fics that make me feel at odds with my own mortality and how i am spending my life and also grief for the future and grief for things past and grief, in the actual sense of death, ohhh. oh my god. what kills me is that this fic is just so grounded as well. you know the ending is coming. you just hang onto the little moments hoping MAYBE it won't happen, but you know. i loved it so bad. also this is a death note fic again

Connect the Dots by GrayJay: SCOTT SUMMERS ASKS MATT MURDOCK OF DAREDEVIL FAME TO BE A TEACHER AT THE SCHOOL AND THEY BOND OVER HOW SIMILAR THEIR DISABILITIES ARE it's ltierally so godo it's insane i love my favorite characters talking so much :(

the thirty-second hour by unsungillumination: this fic is about light yagami not being able to lie for 4 hours in each day, but it happens at random times, as a consequence of regaining his memories of the death note. it's inspired by i found you in the fire by yosgay which is ALSO one of my favorite fics even if it's not from my current 2024 reads but it IS TO ME. anyway. point is a character like light being forced to tell the truth is amazing. the layers of performance and what truth even means being analyzed through light's own eyes... mmmwah..

Tough Love by UmbrellaMartialGod: haikyuu fic. suga/tsukki. i was like no one in this world understands my fucked up haikyuu dynamic ship in which tsukki has a life-ruining unrequited crush on suga that no one else knows about except yamaguchi EXCEPT THIS PERSON!!!!!!!! THIS PERSON WROTE IT!!!!!!! IMAGINE THAT. HAVING A FIC ABOUT A RAREPAIR THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEEDED. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE. I GENUINELY DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT

anyway, thank you for asking. i love fanfic and i love talking about it. hope you enjoy either of these

[animentality]

saw your post about redeemable durge and gortash and how they are different. And my two cents is that pre amnesia durge was way beyond redemption, there is just so much necrophilia, cannibalism and mass murder you can do before it forever stains you haha xD It is like finding some old demented man that used to do warcrimes, you can jail them, but they wont fully understand why they are there. anyways, love durge and gort <3 thank you for your posts. Hopefully larian gives us option to rule with gortash at some point. there seems to be some hints of that happening in game files.

you know, I said something similar once.

but I don't know now.

the game is pretty liberal in terms of presenting villains as sympathetic and capable of redemption.

Astarion might've been forced to do some awful things, but he still has the weight of thousands of souls on his head, doomed to an eternity of hunger. wyll was mizora's lapdog, and he was absolutely going to kill poor Karlach, who did nothing to deserve it. his guilty reaction implies he might've done this before.

gale's desperation for mystra's approval and power resulted in him getting that orb in his chest, which could've detonated at any moment, killing like... I don't know. it could kill a damn netherbrain, right? so it would've been able to flatten at least a city. that's a lot of deaths at his hands, and for what?

nothing. his own ambition.

Lae'zel and Shadowheart of course serve evil cults.

I'm not saying it's the exact same, because they've definitely all been coerced in some way.

but it allows for some ambiguity, doesn't it?

let's even look at outright villains.

you can tell Ketheric that he's still redeemable. he even falters when you suggest it.

and while Orin was never going to redeem herself, I mean fucking look at Sarevok and her mother. she was a product of incest already, which was absolutely disgusting, and then her own mother tried to kill her as a child, for the approval of Bhaal.

and then Sarevok tells you to kill her!!! his own daughter/granddaughter (yuck).

she desperately wanted his approval, and Bhaal's approval, and when you confront her with the truth, she's forced to turn into the slayer before she can even contemplate what it means to her.

I just.

I know Gortash is awful and if he existed in real life, I would absolutely kill him. he's on Joseph Mengele levels of fucked.

I wouldn't even need a trial, he'd be like Hitler. just shoot him in the head.

but since it's a game.... I can say that they presented him in an oddly sympathetic light, just like the villains, just like our morally gray heroes.

nubaldin boasts about how he used to bruise his knuckles on his face. Karlach, who is his chief victim for the audience's understanding, even says that it makes sense.

it doesn't excuse what happened to her of course.

but it explains it.

so... anyway I've rambled too long.

I admit that amnesia is really the only thing that redeems the dark urge.

but consider that I also said that Gortash is actually less evil than them from the start.

and they kind of balance each other out, in that way. you could even call them equals.

they could both have redemption, if only they both sought it.

[changeling-fae]

So I have an entirely indulgent headcanon that my main Tav/Durge, Nym, ends up accidentally getting knocked up by Haarlep during their encounter and now she has a cambion son that looks like Raphael’s kid that she and Astarion raise in the newly renovated Cazador manor.

Haarlep didn’t intend to knock her up and my explanation is Nym is the daughter of an abyssal cambion herself and the great granddaughter of Graz’zt, the demon prince of pleasure, decadence, and unlimited self indulgence, as well as the patron of corrupt authorities and tyrants. So basically her biology as a descendant of the abyssal forces meant shenanigans happen around other incubi/succubi that would have to be taken into account but Haarlep didn’t know and she didn’t know that that would happen.

She’s super pissed about being knocked up (can’t have any consequence relatively free fun it seems) but she actually likes kids and is a protective mom. She has a really weird love-hate relationship with Raphael already (that I’ll probably go over in a future post) and this just complicates things even further.

Her weird biology is also the reason she survives the birth because I say so.

Kid actually turns out pretty ok given his circumstances. He’s probably teetering on the chaotic good/neutral end of things. She and Astarion are the ones who actually raise him ‘cuz I can’t see Haarlep caring all that much; random offspring are probably par for the course with devils, especially incubi and succubi.

Nym has an extreme hatred of her mother and complicated feelings around her own heritage so she’d be super protective over her son and not wanting any of that nonsense to affect him.

Doesn’t stop her from visiting Raphael (and Haarlep) frequently because again, a messy and complicated relationship and situation.

I headcanon his ears are bit longer than shown in the pic (though not as long as hers) and he has his mother’s floof tipped tail with hidden stinger. Does not get her cloven hooves though. Nym had been born with wings so he definitely gets wings too.

Astarion makes for a pretty good, if at times overly indulgent and chaotic, dad.

[not-so-lost-after-all]

Thank you @oonalovesastarionssimpleplan for tagging me!

Your tav or durge's name and their partner:

Esipre the human wizard. It's a question how good she actually is at being a wizard because she's never got much of a formal education and had many teachers throughout many years due to her wild life but she's enthusiastic 🤣 She loves Astarion and in fact, has never felt so strongly about anyone before and he'll remain the only love of her life.

Tell us about your character - anything at all!

She's a former Balduran noble kicked out of the palace by her stepmother once she had younger brothers. Her house is no more though and the palace in ruins. She's a roguish wizard with relaxed attitude towards law who occasionaly uses daggers when it's... more convinient and quicker. Doesn't talk that much but she sure as hell listens and is very good at reading people which made her a leader in most of the groups she used to be part of. Not great at real relationships and betrayed people in the past because she's lived on the road since she was 12. She's almost 80 now because her witchy step mum blessed (cursed?) her with slow aging - something Esipre's father wanted before choosing that woman as his bride.

What do they enjoy doing together?

Besides the obvious? 😁 They're very "touchy", so some massage and bathing together. Also adventuring, the precious feeling that they can completely rely on each other.

What's something your character's partner loves about them?

Esipre is level headed and task oriented and Astarion knows that it saved their asses many times. She's also a big softie in private and likes to cuddle. Oh and he loves her lips and hands.

Their life after Baldur's Gate?

They have a permanent house in BG. They're doing bounty hunting for living which made them rich and since they both enjoy some finer things in life, their home interior reflects that. They have a half elven daughter Wen who... didn't inherit her father's immortality nor mother's talent for magic. She loves them both dearly and they her but you can probably see why she left the home very young to strike on her own. She became a smooth talking political advisor to a powerful elven noble in Waterdeep, had his child and he marries her some time later.

How their story ends is not set in stone but for now... after travelling the world for decades they find a way to turn Astarion mortal. You see, they die some 300 years after the events of the game. Their granddaughter is marrying the son of Duke Ravengard. The thing is that the son was engaged to a far better match whose family is not pleased and turn the wedding into a blood bath. Astarion and Esipre help the young couple escape but die in the last stand situation, in blood on the floor but hand in hand. It's alright, Astarion's had his happy life and hers is nearing an end anyway despite all her efforts. I hate the concept of living together forever, that sounds like a nightmare.

Something your Tav/Durge loves about their partner:

Esipre noticed his good looks but his gallows humor which she shares is what sealed the deal. Well, at first. She loves how bold and open he turned out to be about his feelings about her. He feels deep and since that's something so precious to her, she can't but reciprocate. She greatly admires his resilience which made her to make some peace with the shitty cards the fate has dealt her before. He's like a tree stricken by the lightning that despite everything continues to grow.

Something that your character and their partner both hate (about anything):

Gods. They're all pricks.

Tagging @lirotation and @memoiandy if there's something you want to share...

[nemo-in-wonderland]

Honestly it's amazing how a second Playthrough could change SO MANY ideas I had for Aranea and her relationship with the rest of the Canon characters.

Like, during the first playthrough, when I still didn't know exactly who she was, and where she was coming from, I was mostly going with my own personal preferences aka the one that I knew I would get along with as a person, the one that mostly resonated with me in terms of morality etc. etc.

But now that I am truly entering in the thick of things of Act 1, I realized how different everything is now.

Like, I am just LOVING playing her as a little chaotic gremlin, having her fun on the Material plane after 200 years spent in Cania, bringing plenty of mischief around, not a care in the world, and having Astarion tagging along because by the gods, she better than most can understand WHY he desires power so much.

I can actually see her opening up a bit about what caused her to seek the power of Mephistopheles for herself, and revealing to him what she did when she avenged Halim, and finding actually a sympathetic ear, because I know that, among all the companions, the one that would understand why she did what she did, why she went to such extent would be Astarion (along with Lae'zel and Minthara).

The rest of the companions would probably look at her in absolute horror, which is also a reason why I think she would not ever reveal this to anyone of them.

But I can still imagine that, among all the good companions, Aranea would still get along super well with Karlach, if anything because they both have lived in one of the layers of Hell (and also because Aranea's own granddaughter, my other tav Lyraleel, is so HOPELESSLY in love with Karlach that Aranea cannot help but have a soft spot for the woman her precious granddaughter loves. So I like to imagine that Aranea is looking out for Karlach and trying her best to help her and keep her safe - even though neither Karlach nor Lyraleel know who Aranea is).

OR. OR.

How the first time Raphael met Aranea and the rest of the companions at the bridge,Raphael would play dumb and pretend not to know his step-mother, and Aranea just getting along because omg if there is someone that knows about his antics, that's her!

And Raphael would be the BIGGEST LITTLE SHIT with her because finally, after 200 years of bantering and being on the receiving end of all her shenanigans, now that she is tadpoled he has a reason to tease her and mock her about all the tentacles she is going to sprout (but Aranea has 0 worries because she knows that Mephisto would let Cania thaw before having her turn into a freaking octopus).

I particularly loved the moment Raphael brought her to the House of Hope and all the dialogue that followed, because omg I got a screenshot (that I slightly modified to make Aranea look more pissed)

And after 200 years, ARANEA IS SO DONE WITH HER STEP-SON'S THEATRICS.

SO DONE.

I can almost hear her saying: "Son, I had a long week: I was abducted by those godsforsaken Illithid; I haven't had a proper bath or meal, have been called names because these peons cannot distinguish a Seldarine from a Kobold; On top of that, I have this thing wringling in my brain, causing me so many headaches, for a moment I thought it was you, finally reborn in a new form. A. WHOLE. WEEK. OF. THIS. CIRCUS. And you show up here, with your grand entrance and speech about those godsforsaken lullabies, and I know FOR A CERTAINTY, that you have practiced this speech in front of the mirror thousands of times before coming here just to mock me. Now, get straight to the point, or I swear, as soon as your father has taken care of this tadpole , I will come back the Hells myself and rip you a new one."

So yeah, needless to say, I am having a HUGE BLAST with this new playthrough!

HUGE FUN. Even more than the first time I played! 😂😂😂

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

Gates Balding More Updates Woo

I DID finish Act II the other day andddd forgot to finish the Forge, and the ruins PFFT. *That'll have to be another playthrough oh no the horror~

Shadowheart's been MIA since we spared Nightsong but in camp everyone can talk about Shar doing her dirty, so I assume she hasn't LEFT us (we did fight her, but non-lethally knocked her out).

Gortach has the greasiest appearance I have seen yet (barring like, the actual zombies) but. GDi they gave him Jason fuckin Issacs voice WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS

*Be doomed that's what

I feel like with the Shadowcurse lifted Halsin might finally be able to relax plsdatemeplsletusdateyoucomeONihitonyoueternally-

Nor does he seem to displease of Shadowheart anymore. But since were at Wyrns then I think Astarion can give that weird monk thingy the amulet to his granddaughter (that wont' go poorly at all I'm sure)

I have failed Isobel entirely on BOTH accounts in this game I AM SORRY TO YOU AND AYLIN. not only were werE DESTROYED in Last Light but then she got freaking. cremated fighting Thorm. (Well, his second phase, where he's Myrkul's projection/avatar/thing, because we skipped the larger phase one bit by talking him into suicide) SORRY DARLING MAYBE NEXT TIME-

All the Harper's died in Last Light too so it was just poor Jahiera on her own with us at Moonlight-

BTW I love Aylin her design is amazing absolutely stunning 10/10

I feel like Orin being a changeling just spells future disaster. If you can change into anything THEN WHAT? THEN WHAT?

I also feel like the second time I play through this game I'll have a way better idea how I'm supposed to do it xdd. i MAKE SO MANY MISTAKES RN I mess so much stuff up and I have not gotten a grasp of combat strategy but I try!

[teamdilf]

The next chapter of Lost Souls Like Us is up! Astarion clashes with Petra's grandfather, and sits by Petra's bedside, doing what little he can to care for her.

With Halsin out of the room, he settles in the chair beside Petra’s bed, ignoring Berrin’s glares. The man has met Petra once; he doesn’t get to claim the spot beside her bed. “Looks like you and I are going to be friends,” he says sarcastically to Berrin, who opts to stand tall, staring at the bed Petra is now lying on. “Leaving you alive was another of my granddaughter’s mistakes,” Berrin says, making him laugh at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Berrin is almost as likeable as he is! “She would disagree.” “And as we’ve established, she has the judgement of a child denied her favourite toy.” He forces himself to ignore the man and searches his bag for a strip of leather, and once he’s found something appropriate, he divides her bright purple hair into three sections and begins braiding. As he does, he can feel the burn of the other man’s glare.

[spacebarbarianweird]

Tiriel acknowledges Astarion's nature both of a vampire and an elf. She loves his soft part. She loves his predatory part. Tiriel gives him her blood, she encourages him to go on a hunt. She never acts all just and fair by not allowing him to kill his prey. But Tiriel also talks to him in Elven, caresses his ears and never interrupts his reverie.

Astarion acknowledges Tiriel’s mixed nature, both an elf and a human. He never stops her from fighting or drinking. Always on her side. Always supporting her. He talks to her in Elven and caresses her ears. Astarion encourages Tiriel to join an adventuring party even if it means he is on his own for a couple of days. Astarion never looks down on her for her low intelligence or inability to read.

When Alethaine is born, they don't try to make her something she isn't. They know she is a predator and never punish her for bringing dead animals home or biting. They don't force Alethaine to act "normal", no one is normal at their home. Alethaine is clingy. She cries for attention. She ressurects the dead animals she brings home. She is a monster and she is taught not to be embarassed by it.

When Alethaine grows she is fine being on her own.

Until she isn't.

Alethaine meets a ranger, a monster slayer. She thinks she has seen him before in some feverish dreams. He looks like a character from an elven legend.

Elren Goldenroot has never belonged. His faher and his clan had died before Elren was born. His mother offed herself out of grief. Raised by humans, Elren has been witnessing the downfall of the elven kind believing the world is close to the end. He hunts down monsters and demons and is very good at this.

He knows how to deal with them.

Elren Goldenroot sees Alethaine Ancunin for what she is. She has a soft and swet side deep under the black fabric. She is good with kids and protect the least fortunate. That her cynicism is superficial. He acknowledges her monstrous side and doesn't cringe if she accidentally bites him. Elren knows she is stronger than him but he doesn’t feel intimidated.

Alethaine knows her beloved's duality. Elven hero, a fighter, a leader. First a warrior, then a king. He is everything people imagine when they read about elves. But he is a monster slayer, a ruthless hunter who has seen the most unimaginable horrors. And that such life is his free choice. Alethaine knows his struggles, his low self-esteem, his lack of confidence. She suppports him no matter what.

Their daughter is named after Tiriel. Tiri is her parents' little fire. She is nothing like Alethaine or Elren but Astarion notices her resemblance to Tiriel. It seems like she even doesn't notice her grandfather isn't like other elves.

The most difficult thing for Astarion is acknowledging Tiri doesn't like macabre and black things like Alethaine. That his dark princess gave birth to the girl who is afraid of the dark and would never go to a graveyard.

Sometimes Astarion watches his granddaughter trancing and he thinks he really enjoys being a grandfather.

[drhu0806]

11 – “You lost it. Well, we lost it.”

Fandom: Baldur’s Gate 3 (fanfiction) Characters: Tav/custom player character Rating: T Warnings: strong language

When the small window in the attic is uncovered, the bright sunlight that falls into the room reveals a dust-covered, messy space filled with chests, crates, and other clutter left untouched for years. Kainé coughs as she waves away the cloud of dust the flies up at the barest touch.

“Woooow, you took great care of the place, huh?”

Another tiefling steps into the room. Her skin is almost the same color as Kainé’s, but a slightly darker, wine shade to her rosy red. Her face is dotted with youthful freckles, but the dark makeup she wears makes her seem older than she is at first glance. She gives the dusty attic a judgmental once over.

“You really just stuffed all of Gran’s things in here? What if you needed to find something important, like, oh, now?”

“And you think standing there posturing is going to fix the problem? If you’re so afraid of getting a bit of dirt on your precious fancy clothes, then maybe you should take yourself back to your crusty little Upper City circle.”

Halua rolls her eyes but begins perusing a corner regardless. Outside the door, the rest of the party stands frozen by the threshold. Astarion looks to the rest and frantically shakes his head.

“I do not want to be anywhere near this!” he whispers.

Gale grimaces. “Ah, the beauty of family reunions. Perhaps we can simply wait out here…?”

“Are the rest of you coming in?” they hear Kainé call.

At the wild gesticulating from the rest of the group, Astarion leaps into action. “Uhh, it’s a little cramped in there, darling. I’m sure you and your sister are perfectly capable of taking care of things. Why don’t you throw anything you need unlocked out here for me to open? That way we’ll have more space to look at things.”

“Um… Sure.”

They collectively release sighs of relief and quickly disperse, though Astarion, nosy as ever, continues to loiter. Inside, the two tieflings continue to paw through the contents of the room. Kainé moves slowly as she goes through her late grandmother’s possessions, her hands lingering over uncovered items as memories come rushing back. There’s an old gardening set she recognizes from years ago, one she borrowed when she was growing her first vegetable garden. She finds a tea set with a tea knife she cut her hand on as a child (she still has the scar). There are books she’s certain are older than she is, some filled with handwritten notes and sketches, others on varying topics from all walks of life.

When they lost her all those years ago, she’d locked all these away without a second glance, wanting to shut out the pain and never look back. But years later, as she stands among the remnants of the life of the woman who raised her, Kainé can’t help but try and piece together the person her grandmother had been. A new wave of grief wells up within her, but different than the ones that came before. She laments never learning more about who she had been before her granddaughters came into her life, before her son’s bloodied and battered family showed up on her doorstep after crossing an unfathomable distance through the Hordelands in search of a better life. Who was she, when she wasn’t Grandmother?

“姐，给我帮个忙.”

Halua’s call rouses her from her thoughts. Finding nothing on her end, she helps her sister shuffle through the other corner of the room. Locked chests are moved outside the room to be picked open, the floor of the attic is gradually laid out with various objects. The two woman, covered in dust, take a small break as they behold a faded red jewelry box.

“Okay, hopefully this is it,” Kainé breathes as she wipes her forehead. Her sister sits sprawled against the wall, her head tilted back against the wall.

“Gods, I hope so,” she bemoans. “I really didn’t think she kept so much stuff. How long did it take you to move all this?”

“Ugh, I don’t remember. It was quick but… I wasn’t particularly careful about it.”

“I’ll say… Alright, let’s get this over with.”

They flip open the lid, revealing a hodgepodge mix of various accessories. It takes a few moments of picking through it before they notice something’s off.

“Hey, sis, is it me or… are these not supposed to be in here?”

“Well, some of these belong, but some of these definitely don’t… I don’t remember her keeping these in here. And the pendant is definitely not in here.”

They sit in contemplative silence before Halua’s eyes light up. “Hey, do you remember when we were moving her old furniture because it wouldn’t all fit up here? And then—”

“We had that awful mess because things fell off, yes, I remember. A lot of it was jewelry.”

“And we were in such a hurry we just ended up throwing things wherever, which means…”

Kainé’s shoulders drop. “Which means it’s probably not here. Fucking hell.”

“Gods… I cannot believe you lost it.”

The elder sister gives the younger an incredulous, menacing look, and Halua chuckles with a dismissive wave. “I’m kidding. We lost it.”

If the floor wasn’t so dirty, Kainé would have collapsed in a heap onto it right then and there. “Alright, give me a few minutes, and then we’ll go.”

[tw-neo]

Character Intro: Niseke

Niseke Siduszik (she/her) was my first BG3 character, and probably my second favorite/most fleshed out. She is an ~570 y/o Lolth-Sworn drow draconic bloodline/great old one sorlock. She romanced Astarion (lmfao cougar) and sat in a party with Astarion (Lore bard 11/Life cleric 1 healbot build), Shadowheart (Dexadin build), and her son, Nys, an OH monk. Nys belongs to the same person who created Tin, we have way too much time on our hands and love intertwining our characters.

Niseke is a very typical Lolth drow. She brings all the negative traits of that culture to light, especially when she was plucked from Menzoberranzan and tadpoled. She is transphobic, a misandrist, power-hungry (but only she is allowed to hold power. Ascending Astarion? Absolutely not, if anyone should ascend it should be her), and overall a massive cunt to nearly anyone.

This hunger for power is her downfall in my canon universe. Instead of being tadpoled and getting a whole redemption arc through her adventuring, she rises in Lolth's favor enough to be put through her trials, which she fails. She becomes a drider, and is set in her grandmother's labyrinth to forever wander, either finding a way to kill herself or killing her grandmother to gain Lolth's favor back.

Niseke has probably the most fleshed out family lore out of all these characters. ~40 years before the events of the game, she met a wood half-elf, Ellion Ashspell, she had a fling with as he was visiting Menzoberranzan. She ended up getting pregnant and giving birth to Nys, her trans son. Soon after giving birth, she gave them up to Ellion in order to rise in the ranks in Menzoberranzan.

And yes!! She has a grandmother! I fleshed out her draconic sorcerer anscestry and she's the granddaughter of a oldass obsidian greatwyrm- Dal'Nizeke, The Forge of Sardior. Dal was originally a character I had developed for my 5e world. She is a high tier smith, creating powerful and beautiful weapons in a lucrative and overall secretive scheme that aids both sides of the Blood War. She doesn't really care who wins, she thinks it's fun to watch wars from the sidelines. She's also quite fickle: She abhors Niseke for what she did to Nys, and, alongside using the Blood War as entertainment, she torments Niseke after she gets dridered and placed in her labyrinth.

I feel like she has a lot of nuance because of her two endings. In one, she stays relatively transphobic and douchey, and in the other, she learns to accept her son and breaks away from Lolth, instead moving towards Zinzerena and living in the Underdark with Astarion and the 7k spawn they let loose.

[nostalgiachan]

The Fury of the Sun

Twenty-First Prompt: Describe the moment Vier rescued a companion from Orin.

Obviously Act Three Spoilers

C/W: Blood

Summary: Exactly as the prompt implies (726 words)

---

All that remained of Orin the Red, Chosen of Bhaal, daughter and granddaughter both of Sarevok Anchev, was a smear of blood across the floor of the temple. Ragged breaths escaped Vier’s split lips, her lungs burning deep within her chest with each expansion. Her red eyes were wide with righteous fury. She smelled blood, tasted blood, felt blood sinking into every pore upon her flesh and pooling into every crevice of her armor. Every muscle felt as though it was one moment from fraying, and it took every last ounce of her healing magic just to keep herself upright, let alone to keep the rest of her companions alive.

But it was done. The second pillar of the Absolute had crumbled, and one more Netherstone was hers. This all could’ve been so much simpler, Vier thought. 

Death was absolutely coming to Orin one way or another. But slave to complexity and theatrics as she was, she simply couldn’t leave well enough alone. If she had but waited her turn, Gortash would have been dead and she truly could’ve been the last of the Chosen standing. She may have even had a day or two to gloat over her ultimate victory before Vier came to give her the end she richly deserved.

But the second she laid hands on Lae’zel, the very moment she loosed that ultimatum from her blackened lips - end Gortash or lose her dear companion forever - she hastened not only her demise, but that of her misbegotten grandfather and his entire Murder Tribunal. Orin would be getting exactly what she asked for: Vier’s attention was focused on her like a sunbeam through a magnifying lens, and it would burn her away just as swiftly and violently.

A tense hush had descended upon the chamber, and all eyes were upon Vier as she stood within the remains of their leader. Hatred unlike any she had felt before still churned within, and she brandished the Blood of Lathander at the rogues’ gallery about her. She shouted to the very rafters, “Should any of you wish to join Orin in whatever hell awaits you, step forward now and I will gladly send you!”

None took her on her offer. Perhaps they wisely surmised that they were little challenge for anyone who could best the Slayer, or perhaps they held far too little love for Orin to make an attempt at vengeance. Whatever the reason, the remaining cultists either stayed in place or quietly exited the temple, leaving Vier, Karlach, Astarion and Gale upon the dais undisturbed.

As soon as her breath properly returned to her, Vier scrambled to the blood-drenched altar, across which lay the body of Lae’zel. She breathed a haggard sigh of relief as she examined her friend; she was still breathing, and showed few signs of injury beyond some rope burns and bruises. With a gentle nudge, Vier shook Lae’zel awake. Blearily, her ochre eyes opened, and she struggled to sit up.

“Judging from the smell of you, nothing is left of Orin for me to cleave apart,” she grumbled. 

A tired smile spread across Vier’s battered face. “Gods, I never thought I’d be so happy to hear you complain. Can you walk?”

“My legs are not broken, but…I may need some assistance,” Lae’zel answered, her boundless pride causing her to hesitate for a moment. “Whatever spell they put me under has sapped my strength.”

Cautiously, Vier draped one of Lae’zel’s arms about her shoulder and hoisted her up by the waist, bringing her to her feet. Slowly and deliberately, they moved to regroup with the others. “How’re you holding up, Gale?” Vier asked. “Think you’re good to get us out of here, or will we be taking the long way ‘round?”

Gale absolutely looked like he’d seen better days - robes half shredded, covered in blood that could just as likely be his as much as anyone else’s - but with a stretch of his neck and a roll of his shoulders, he replied, “Oh, I’m sure I have enough left in me to take us home. Need a hand with the load?”

“Watch your tongue, wizard,” Lae’zel hissed. “Though I may be weakened, I have strength enough to pay back insults in kind.”

“Wits as quick and sharp as ever,” Gale laughed, taking her threats in stride. “An encouraging sign, indeed. Shall we?”

[captain-azoren]

My Tav's ongoing journey towards inner peace in Baldur's Gate 3

Just felt like sharing the story I crafted through my gameplay experience of my first BG3 playthrough. Still not finished.

I started put as a pretty rough and tumble wildheart barbarian, acting like a typical barbarian would. I kept him pretty firmly on the good side if a little prone to violence. I get to the goblin camp and make Crusher kiss my feet. After that I meet Kirz and she's the cutest goblin so far. I make a mental note to not kill her when things inevitably go sideways.

Fast forward, I deal with the goblin leaders, but I want to save the owl bear cub too. We fight the rest of the goblins outside, but in my barbarian rage, Kirz ends up getting killed too (I was under the impression they all needed to die and not just be knocked out to free the cub). Narratives, my Tav feels guilt over killing Kirz because he couldn't control his blood lust, even if it's still kind of a good thing for the Grove and tieflings.

All the while, Tav is getting to know his companions and can't help but notice a common thread with their problems, that being stuck serving some higher/supernatural power and their emotions getting them into deeper trouble. My Tav has been a pretty carefree wanderer (I don't play him as being from Baldur's Gate since I never played 1 or 2) and hasn't had any close friends or family, but he feels pretty empathetic towards the rest of the party.

Skip ahead to the Grymforge and Tav finds the sentient amulet and meets the cursed monk. He resists the laughter and decides to help. Out of game, I had been considering changing to Monk and the sentient amulet seemed like a good excuse. I had also gotten the Kushigo armor so there was that. In game, what I imagine is, the cursed monk sensed my Tav's inner turmoil and offered to teach him to find inner calm and focus to use ki instead.

So, from then on, the cursed monk acted as a kind of spiritual guide/mentor to my former barbarian after I respecced to open hand monk. The cursed monk imparts lessons about balance and patience onto Tav and in turn Tav tries to impart this wisdom towards the companions, acting as a balancing force to their more self destructive tendencies. Tav has to warn Gale and Astarion against lust for power and meddling with forces they don't understand. He cautions Laezel and Shadowheart to not blindly follow dogma and authority figures. He also tries to make sure Wyll doesn't get a big ego. My Tav initially was attracted by Karlach but ended up with Shadowheart instead. He still harbors some feelings for Karlach and tries very hard to keep her alive.

The cursed monk is an effective teacher despite his affliction. Eventually they reach the Open Hand Temple and find out the monk's granddaughter is dead and can't take the curse. For all that the monk taught him, Tav agrees to take the curse instead. The focus and control Tav learned as a monk helps him to resist the laughter and the spirit in the amulet is freed.

I still have the last part of act 3 to complete, but looking back on my playthrough so far I thought this made an interesting personal story. My Tav is a tempering force within the group, and he'll try to steer Astarion away from ascension and teach the vampire that he doesn't need to keep seeking power to be free.

[bg3smash-or-pass]

ALRIGHT Y’ALL! It’s been quite a while but let’s dive into another round of STATISTICS!

Most of our previous numbers have been replaced! The only character still on the board from the last round of stats is Karlach in the Highest Smash % category. Bumped from 1st to 2nd place by God’s Favorite Princess, she’s still got a grip on her title! (Isobel did edge her out in Lowest Pass % though)

We absolutely have some more extremes in the Pass category this time! With the rotting bartender Thisobald Thorm in third, the Dark Urge’s bloody little butler Sceleritas Fel in second, and in first for Least Fuckable BG3 Character so far, is everyone’s least favorite deep gnome Wulbren Bongle! Barcus may fawn over you but it turns out he’s just about the only one.

A new category we can consider this round of statistics is comparing character variations!

The Companions:

[Character] - [Smash %]:[Pass %] >< [Character Variant] - [Smash %]:[Pass %]

Karlach - 90.4:6.5 >< Pre-Repair 80.4:15.7

As expected, a fiery fate doesn’t dissuade most from wanting to get it on with our beloved barbarian!

Halsin - 84.4:11.7 >< Bear - 57.6:31.5

The beast within has scared off a good chunk of Halsin’s eager admirers, but the majority still wants a piece of the hunky druid

Astarion - 80:13.1 >< Ascendant - 43:49.2

The ultimate power of the Vampire Ascendant gains Astarion many things, but loses the affection of a good half of his lovers. Let’s hope he takes it well… (he won’t)

Gale - 87.4:9.5 >< God - 41.1:52.6

Ascension seems that no matter the other benefits, it makes you less fuckable.

Wyll - 86.2:9.5 >< Devil 85.5:8.2

Horns or not, ridges in unmentionable places, Wyll is Wyll and everyone wants a piece either way

Shadowheart - 85.4:9.8 >< Selûnite - 90.6:6.3 >< Dark Justicar - 66.1:27.8

All versions of God’s Favorite Princess have the majority at her beck and call, but the white haired beauty of a follower of the Moon Maiden has proven herself THE most fuckable BG3 character of them all! On the flipside, the darkness of the Lady of Loss drives a few of her admirers away.

Lae’zel - 82.3:14.1 >< Illithid Thrall - 26.3:63

Despite the fandoms thirst for tentacles, Lae’zel would I think appreciate the voters disinterest in her worst nightmare

Others:

It seems the companions have much wider changes in their variants than the different forms other characters take

Raphael - 67.3:25.4 >< Haarlep - 68:26.8

Seems the attraction to Raphael may only be skin-deep, his personal Incubus gaining an ever so slight lead using his form.

Qudenos (Dragon) - 61.4:28.5 >< Dragonborn Disguise - 62.7:29.8

Our resident scalies seem just as eager to mount a young adult red dragon as they are a red Dragonborn in the depths of the undercity

Auntie Ethel - 19.2:71.5 >< Hag - 18.8:73.5

The guise of a gilf seems to only fool a small amount of voters into bedding her, despite her lotions and potions

Dark Urge - 75.5:17.9 >< Slayer - 54.9:39.9

Orin - 54:39.4 >< Slayer - 50.4:39.2

The desire to lay Bhaal’s Perfect Killing Machine seems about the same no matter who wields it, with the Durge only slightly beating out Orin in slayer form. While the slayer only slightly changes the desire to lay Bhaal’s great-granddaughter, the pure blood offspring loses a good chunk of their appeal if they join with their father.

And that’s the statistics roundup for now! See you all next time!

📈Statistics📈

Autistic bitches LOVE statistics! That’s why I’m running (and you’re following) a Tumblr Gimmick Poll Blog! So let’s dig in:

Highest Smash % ⬆️

🥇 Selûnite Shadowheart - 90.6%

🥈 Karlach - 90.4%

🥉 Dame Aylin - 88.4%

Highest Pass % ⬆️

🥇 Wulbren Bongle - 85.5%

🥈 Sceleritas Fel - 81.1%

🥉 Thisobald Thorm - 80.8%

Lowest Smash % ⬇️

🥇 Wulbren Bongle - 8.8%

🥈 Sceleritas Fel - 12.1%

🥉 Thisobald Thorm - 12.5%

Lowest Pass % ⬇️

🥇 Dame Aylin - 6.2%

🥈 Selûnite Shadowheart - 6.3%

🥉 Isabel Thorm - 6.4%

⬆️🗳️ Highest # of Votes*: The Emperor - 1,484

⬇️🗳️ Lowest # of Votes*: Mamzell Amira - 159

Stats Last Updated: 07/12/24

It’s just so fun to see how Highest Smash % doesn’t automatically mean they also have the Lowest Pass %, and vice versa, because there is an Opt Out option. Stats will be updated arbitrarily whenever I get around to it.

*# of Votes Statistic including ended polls only