#Ashland Craft

[juhnkit]

Motivational Music in the Morning ... #HixTape feat #AshlandCraft & #BrothersOsborne, #iSmokeWeed [Official Audio Track] (2021) #MMitM1

[chris-sales-belly-ring]

And I left Texas in the red dirt dust

It was easy leavin' Louisiana

I hit eighty in a fifty-five

Just tryin' to cross that 'Bama line

Don't miss a thing about Mississippi

Carolina keeps callin' me

But I can't seem to make it past Georgia

[niofo]

valheim ashlands update so good. i tamed a lava dog to ride and then got into fight with skeletons and he died. rip doggo, but i didn't have time to name him, so it's fine. frostner, a hammer crafted 4 biomes ago, is still carrying the entire game, i want to upgrade her, but nothing was actually better yet. i'm having my eyes set on the storm star tho, might finally have a worthy successor. too bad it's not ice, i like ice.

[auraeseer]

Call 5418253200 and ask about their beer selection . . .

[oflgtfol]

watching art videos and recognizing michaels products counts as a mental illness i think

[mdelgadoimages]

Michael's Boss Collection Décor by Ashland #michaelscraftstore #girlboss

[slusheeduck]

If you're still up for the send in a character thing: vivec! (sorry I'm late to it lol)

YES I SURE AM ESPECIALLY RE: VIVEC

First impression

Absolutely hated him. I played ESO before delving into the Morrowind lore and I thought he was so vague and full of himself and I h a t e d doing his quest in ESO because I couldn't stand the concept of Vivec.

Impression now

AND THAT'S THE POINT. Make no mistake every time I watch a cutscene with him or read the 36 Lessons I'm immediately like "Shut the FUCK up" but that's exactly the kind of character Vehk IS. It's the persona he WANTS people to see. He's so complex and multifaceted and yes in the ESO point in the timeline he is at his peak so of course he's going to be so annoying and full of himself because he's a literal god but by Morrowind he's so weary and tired and full of grief and regrets and the stories he's built around himself are shaping up to have a terrible ending and GOD I want to fucking BITE something. He's a creature of his own design, a story he's crafted that's as true or as false as he wants to be, because we're all stories in a way--he just takes it more literally.

Favorite moment

Ironically, despite my mention of how much I hated Vivec in ESO, there's one moment at the very end where he's rewarding everyone who helped in the quest, and there was something electric in the delivery/animation where I was like, "Oh, I can see why people would love him. I think I love him." Now I can't pinpoint what it is, and it didn't hit the same when I watched a playthrough of it years later, so it's the vaguest moment ever, but that's the energy I love imagining with Vivec.

Idea for a story

Well I still have one that's a long-term labor of love. But one part that's a long way off is a chat with Voryn about love and hate, because I think it'll be very fun.

Unpopular opinion

I like Buff Vivec. I know, I know, Twink Vivec is best Vivec. I know, the visuals of a female and male half would be more fun. I KNOW. But hear me out: Vivec is an ever-shifting entity that rewrites and edits himself to be whatever the people need. In the face of a great war (and all the various bullshit going on in 2E585), the Dunmer will be looking to the Tribunal for guidance, and in this case, the people need more Warrior and less Poet.

I like thinking that he changes his looks every decade or so--some he's more feminine, some more masculine, some more androgynous and some an amalgamation of whatever bits he feels like.

Favorite relationship

Vivec and Sil. I'm always a sucker for brothers, and that's what got me so invested in him. (Because COTHH was supposed to be Sil-centric but then Vivec butted in, which is in-character tbh) But there's an underlying fondness in the way they speak about each other that I just go feral over, and it makes Sil's death later on so much more tragic.

Favorite headcanon

That he was wholly unremarkable before he met Nerevar. Just an Ashlander kid from a family of netchimen. I like thinking that he was pretty sickly and so didn't really get in with the family business and instead listened to the mothers swap stories as they worked on weaving and cooking and the like. I also think "What My Beloved Taught Me" was his first, clumsy attempt at rewriting his own history, but he did pull the "Oh, I'm so illiterate, muthsera, but I'm so devoted to you that OH WOW look how quickly I learned to read and write!!" in an attempt to impress Nerevar (and it worked! In the sense that it impressed Nerevar. Literally no one believed him, but the sheer audacity was enough to get Neht to bring him onboard.)

[sigmaelxgr]

Random ashlander boy lost in my upcoming housing instance. I'm crafting a jungle tree by tree.

(His eyes are so beautiful.)

[acrowwithakeyboard]

Skyrim OCs

Decided to put my LDB OCs on here for posterities sake (and my friend's recommendation), since I have a bad habit of mass deleting screenshots and would like to remember them as accurately I can. PC player so there are mods.

Full name: Ieama Stormblood

Alias: Rhiatrice Adrati

Nicknames: Silver, Candle, Rhin

Race: Reachmen (Boldclaw and Bear-heart Clan, Mother was from the former, father the latter) Werewolf

Faith: Hircine

Background: Raised in the wilds of the Reach, took to hunting/crafting to make a living making jewellery (scrimshaw and bone hawk jewellery are her specialty). Uses alias to sound more Breton and heavy hoods and masks to avoid the general Reachmen biases amongst the local population. Eventually took to traveling outside the Reach and ran into various individuals who quickly became friends, then one night at the Inn in Helgen changed the course of her life forever. (Alternate perspective mod)

Fighting: Offensive destruction and restoration spells are her main magic schools when fighting, alteration and conjuration secondary, archery is a steady back-up when the situation (lack of magicka) calls for it.

Current followers: Remiel, Xelzaz, Gore (❤) , Auri, Redcap and Val Serano (have yet to get a good photo of them all)

Home: Camp near Dushnikh Yal in the Reach

Full Name: Vathyr

Alias: None

Nicknames: None yet

Race: Dunmer

Faith: The Reclaimations (Mephala specifically)

Background: An Ashlander who left home to explore the world, hoping the excursion would cure his wanderlust. He made a stop at Solstheim only to pick up a Dunmer mercenary before setting off to Skyrim. Has a less-than-trusting disposition towards people and tends to think the glass half empty, but once he considers someone a friend he will do whatever he can for them. Very skilled with poison and daggers and more than ready to hide if the guards come knocking.

Fighting: Dagger/sword combo with a LOT of poison, and some alteration and illusion magic goes a long way. Bows are used liberally with his poisons and when the enemy is too big to take down in close combat.

Current followers: Teldryn, Val Serano, Jenassa

Home: Renting Emberbrand Celler in Windhelm

Full Name: Ynhethune

Alias: None for now

Nicknames: Yenna, Yin

Race: Snow Elf

Faith: Auri-El

Background: Born some unknown time shortly after the Dwemer disappeared, Ynhethune sustained herself by hiding in the various cave systems dotting Skyrim's landscape and scavenging the wilds. Going above ground granted the opportunity to gather what is otherwise unavailable to the various Falmer settlements and allowed her a place as a traveling merchant amongst the hives. She is a common sight in Riften, but since she goes to various Falmer hives to trade she isn't often in the city too long. Though most leave her alone, the civil war has made travel difficult so she recently hired a mage to accompany her on her travels as she wants to set up trading relations further to the Reach and needs to make a stop at Helgen.

Fighting: Restoration against undead, conjuration for convenience, illusion for avoiding conflict, alteration for quick getaways, and destruction against everything else. A mage through and through.

Followers: Marcurio (more to be added)

Home: Blackreach, rents at the Bee and Barb regularly

Full Name: Drea Windseer

Alias: None

Nicknames: Didi, Dia

Race: Nord

Faith: Kyne

Background: Raised in Helgen, Drea is quiet and kind to her neighbours. She helps the local blacksmith by smelting and tanning raw materials she finds while on hunts to supply the inn. The guards warn that the recent patrols from the Thalmor have been... disappearing on the roads between Falkreath and Ivarstead with bandits a suspect as bodies that are found are stripped of belongings quite thoroughly. Drea has taken it upon herself to help the guard, letting them know when she finds recent attack sites. If the blacksmith notices her bringing back more smelted ore and tanned leather at night than usual after her hunts, he isn't going to complain. She gives him a good price and he hates the Thalmor as much as she does.

Fighting Style: The most reckless two handed swordswork you will see in this lifetime, heavy armour and heavy hitting, if she is caught unawares without her weapons her fists can substitute for a short time. When hunting game, her bow is an extension of her arm.

Followers: Xelzaz, Remiel (more to added)

Home: Was Helgen Modded home (used in tandum with alternate perspective) Currently nomadic due to Alduin

Edit: forgot a nickname Edit 2: editing again, story time: I had a mod for snow elves but had to get rid of it due to texture issues, Ynhethune was supposed to be an in-between of current Falmer and Merethic Era Snow Elves and I just figured out how to recreate that somewhat. Her background changed as well because of this. Edit 3: New character! Edit 4: Housing costs too high, changed a few homes

[quicquam-dot-com]

It's time for me to rant about things i'm mad about that no one else cares about

so Michael's (the craft store) sells collectible town miniatures from a brand called Lemax. they (michael's) sell two seasonal towns, christmas and halloween (lemax has other towns but they seem to be something they don't make/sell anymore). i don't care about the christmas one so i'm gonna talk about the halloween one but i'm sure this also applies to the christmas one. (i've also found a place online called eerie emporium that sells spooky town, they're much better than michael's about holding onto older stock of it)

i started collecting spooky town in college, when i found a graveyard gate piece that lights up and some figurines on mega sale the day after halloween. i've really gone ham with it ever since, but i need to find an alternative. the price keeps going up (ONE building this year costs $200, which is absolutely outrageous, esp since it isn't a very good looking one) and the quality keeps going down.

they used to make a lot of their buildings out of a ceramic-type material (i think it was a plastic ceramic, but it still feels and behaves like ceramic) and the ones that weren't ceramic were a sturdy plastic, but now they've moved to all flimsy plastic all the time.

i understand that certain parts have to be made of lighter materials, particularly if they have moving parts, but even the ones that just have a nightlight bulb in them are oops all plastic. (though they do have led nightlight bulb replacement things that don't get nearly as hot, so that's nice)

another drop in quality is the paint jobs. they used to actually have some detail on the buildings and the figurines, but now it's like they just took a big brush and went "splort splort splort that looks fine". some of the people don't even have eyes and mouths anymore, just flesh toned molded plastic. i hate this. i shouldn't have to repaint things this expensive just to make them look good. i've modified pieces before (i was weirded out by the grocer having a (human) body hanging in the window so i made essentially a new sticker without the person and figured out how to remove the meat display thing and put in the new sticker), but i shouldn't HAVE to modify them to make them look even passable.

the figures are stupid expensive too, but not nearly as bad as the buildings. i've found out that if i stop caring about the scale being exactly right, i can buy the michael's in-house brand (ashland tiny treasures) of figurines for much cheaper (which are back after a couple years, no idea why they stopped selling those for a little bit but i was upset about that but i'm having trouble finding them their website). i also have designed some minis in HeroForge that i'll do up for spooky town one day when i'm rich and famous and buy a 3d printer, so ultimately the figures aren't something i'm terribly worried about never being able to find again, i'm just frustrated about them.

i love things about the lemax spooky town like the colored lighting and the moving parts, so i can't just move to only ones with nightlight bulbs in them. i certainly have no objections to ones with nightlight bulbs and no moving parts, i have several that are lemax and like 3 that are little houses from some unknown brand that i thrifted that don't match the lemax at all, but i still love them. i've thrifted vintage lemax pieces (for the human town portion of spooky town), but they're hard to find bc resale value is high for older pieces, but that's a whole other issue.

YET ANOTHER issue with lemax is the mechanical parts just straight up not working. i've got this one piece that's a skeleton and grim reaper in a hot air balloon that's supposed to spin, but it completely stopped working after like 2 years. i managed to pop it open and fix it, but the next year it wasn't working again and i couldn't fix it. there's also a pretty big facebook group about fixing specifically lemax pieces, since lemax refuses to offer repairs or replacements for broken pieces, which is pretty stupid, but that does mean that there's been an opportunity for a few people in that fb group to actually get paid to fix them (so i guess one nice thing coming out of corporate greed). i do have a piece that i intentionally broke, the ghoulish gourd, which has a jack o lantern on top that sways back and forth and the top half of it with the eyes spins 180 to have evil or happy eyes and makes the LOUDEST snapping noise when it does that (i just cut the wire on it so it doesn't have power to the spinning mechanism). the spinning/snapping also knocks the jack o lantern off its base, which i have to re-seat every year because it was previously holding on with sheer willpower, since glue doesn't seem to be very good at holding it on.

there are absolutely things i love about the lemax spooky town, but i need to find an alternative, because i'm just starting to get to the point of being over it, and i don't want to lose another thing i love (namely, having a little halloween town) to corporate apathy.

rant over.

[varlaisvea]

hi im asking despite my embarrassment. so theres this one off npc. uhmm 👉👈 her name is nerise venim, she's a professional alchemist but in her quest she gets mistaken for a witch, you'll see what i mean if you look her up. she's kind of. haughty? looks down her nose at ppl. but ngl im a complete lesbian for her and idk if theres much if any fics on her so im asking for a Little indulgence bc i rly like your prose 🥺

(This is re: my offer to write fic about ESO NPCs. Offer’s still good, though…)

IT HAS BEEN A MONTH AND A HALF SINCE YOU SENT THIS. I AM SO SORRY! There’s been Stuff, and also, truthfully, I’ve gotten really stuck on the sexy part of this. Smut is already harder for me than I’d like, and on top of it, I think where I ended up going with this is different from what you wanted.

THAT SAID THOUGH, I still wanted to do something for you :) I redid this quest and I too am very gay for Nerise Venim! So, I decided not to let my writer’s cockblock (gn) stop me from at least posting the first part of the story. Hopefully it’s a nice tale on its own? No promises, but I’ll keep fighting with the sexy part 🫡 And THANK YOU so much for your kind words!!

————-

Words: 1.9k Rating: Mature (allusions to sex and sex toys, mention of alcoholism) Characters: Dunmer Vestige, Mirri Elendis, Nerise Venim

——

With Vivec City in our sights now, I feel a strange anxiety in my center. I stop to take in the view of the city, the sea, and Baar Dau. “I can’t stop thinking about that Nerise Venim.”

“Oh, she was incredible, wasn’t she?” Mirri says. “Killing goblins felt even better knowing I was doing it for her. Seht knows I don’t take orders well, but somehow I found myself wishing she’d push me around a little.” Mirri meets my eyes and with a guilty little grin. “I… hope that’s what you meant.”

I sigh. “It is. She was intimidating, in that hello muthsera sort of way.” 

Mirri nods, and we stare at the Vivec City skyline for several long silent moments.

“Heh, I should have let one of those goblins knick me, so I could be injured enough for one of her upscale unguents.”

Mirri stares at me. “Sometimes I forget that you grew up Velothi.” She chuckles. “And in Stormhold.”

“What does that mean?” We start walking again. 

“Dunmer controlled Stormhold for much of your life, it’s true, but it was never a Dunmeri city. If you’d come of age in Vivec, or Balmora, or Mournhold, or even in your Ashlander clan, you’d have some idea about expensive upscale unguents to be sold to discerning clients.” 

“I guess I don’t know what exactly an unguent is.”

“Ah,” Mirri says, nodding. “Well, if I didn’t have experience with upscale unguents, I wouldn’t know either, but: one common synonym is lubricant.”

“Ah.”

The rest of our walk to Vivec City is mostly spent in comfortable silence, and we have a beautiful view of the Temple and the sun setting over the Inner Sea. To avoid some of the construction, we take the long way, past the silt strider station and the traders on the outskirts of town.

We’re walking through the crafting plaza when Mirri stops. “I bet I know where she’s selling her wares.”

“Ha, are you in the market?”

Mirri raises her eyebrows at me. “Irrelevant,” she says with a grin. “I meant… if you’re still thinking about her, maybe you could… see if she has any plans this evening.” She hesitates, then adds, “or… we could.” Mirri meets my eyes with slight unease. We love each other, of course, as one comes to love anyone who has fought by their side through Oblivion and back. We both feel pretty strongly that we work best as friends and adventuring partners, but we share sleeping arrangements regularly, and we’re adventurers, so of course, just like with several of my other regular traveling companions, we relieve one another’s tensions from time to time, or watch each other relieve tensions. Sometimes one of us helps the other pick up an evening companion who catches our eye… but we’ve never done it together.

I look down at my boots.

“Ah, just a thought!” Mirri stammers. “I’m sorry, friend, if that was over the line—”

“Mirri,” I don’t want to laugh at her, but I’m laughing at her. “I didn’t even say anything! As soon as you said that, I wondered why we’d never done it before.”

Mirri laughs, trying to sound calm but obviously relieved. “I thought the same thing. I’ve never had a threesome.”

“Really?” I do not hide my shock very well, and Mirri looks adorably sheepish. “Well, now we have to try.”

“I agree!” She grins and lays her hand on my hip. “And now that we’ve been thinking of this for as long as we have, I believe even if she declines, you and I will have a lovely evening, no?”

I lay a hand on her forearm and lean my head against hers for a moment. “Obviously.” We start walking toward the bridge. 

Mirri does know exactly where to find Nerise Venim, and it turns out, I know the place too—on our way in, Mirri and I wonder aloud, for the second time today, why we haven’t been broadening our exploration of common interests. The shop is run by Telvanni-trained mycoturges who specialize in a craft that’s been honed over many generations: strong, flexible, and very pleasurably-shaped fungi, preserved with Altmeri preservation enchantments for easy cleaning. The proprietor claims Vekh himself shops here, and while I’m not sure I believe that, this particular shop does have the best selection in Vivec City, and a wide variety of accessories.

Nerise has a small booth just inside the shop. She’s not serving anyone right now, but evidently things can get busy here—there’s a sign a short distance in front of the booth that says to ensure privacy for all, please wait behind this sign. Even out in the wilds, Nerise was dressed in noble finery and carried herself like a Grandmaster, and here in the shop, she looks regal; someone the rich and powerful trust with their secrets. If she claimed Vekh himself preferred her upscale unguents, I might believe her.

She smiles slyly as we approach. “Came looking for me, did you?” 

I nod. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you.” She raises an eyebrow, and I return her smile, hopefully with an air of casual ease. “We had to know what happened with Stromgruf.” 

“Ha!” Nerise claps her hands together. “Well he’s got pants now, at least, and—thank the Mercymother—I don’t have to deal with him anymore.” She leans across the counter conspiratorially. “If you can believe it, Stromgruf actually thanked me; even apologized for calling me a witch and endangering my livelihood! And that sword I bought him? He practically begged to trade it back for some vials of Potion Of Transform Into Guar For A Day Or So. Said he hadn’t thought once about getting blackout drunk while he was a guar.” She sighs. “Ayem knows the bottle is a far stricter mistress than some angry witch.”

Mirri, now standing outside of Nerise’s view, fans herself dramatically at that. I continue on bravely as if unaffected. “Please; you’re more than some angry witch,” I say. “You turned a Nord into a guar and he begged for more—it takes quite an alchemist to cook up something so potent and pleasurable.”

Nerise meets my eyes with a haughty smirk. “You’re damned right.” She pauses, then smiles serenely. “Now, can I interest you in something… potent and pleasurable?”

“That’s exactly what we came here to find,” I say, somehow managing not to stammer. “Do you have any plans for this evening?”

“Ha!” Nerise looks genuinely charmed. “My only plans are to find an inn room and count my coin. Hmph, look at me; do you think I slum it with adventurers?” She smiles, stern but amused, and meets my eyes to let me know her question was not rhetorical.

I laugh nervously. “Ah—heh. Ah, you—“

Mirri—as she often does—sees me faltering, and steps in. “Come now, sera, I think classifying my friend as merely an adventurer would bury the lede somewhat, don’t you?” Nerise crosses her arms and smiles with eyebrows raised, and Mirri meets her eyes and matches her pose. “We both know you’re worldly enough to have immediately recognized one of Tamriel’s great heroes when you met us earlier today,” Mirri says. “But, message received—it is a bit uncouth of us to make overtures while you’re at work. Apologies; we’ll leave you to your unguents.”

Mirri nods toward the door for us to leave, but Nerise says, “people make overtures all the time in my line of work—occasionally, I even find it intriguing rather than utterly laughable.” She smirks and meets Mirri’s eyes, then mine, and then there is a long, heavy silence. 

“You’re not laughing,” I point out.

“I try not to make a habit of it,” Nerise says, her expression hardening. 

Mirri and I exchange a glance—something about the way Nerise said that seems to have given us both pause.

Mirri drops her smirk. “It’s been rough for you of late, hasn’t it?” she says, now sincere and cautious. “Not just all the business with Stromgruf, but… things were hard well before the goblin situation, I’d wager.” Nerise presses her lips together and maintains her stare, but says nothing. “I come from a big family,” Mirri says, “I know what it looks like when someone has a lot of people depending on them, a lot of weight on their shoulders.” 

Nerise looks away and swallows hard. “Nothing I can’t handle,” she says.

“But wouldn’t it be good to set it down for a while?” I ask. Nerise turns to me, gaze stony and head held high, waiting for me to say more. “Don’t you get sick of cleaning up all the messes, keeping an eye on every variable, holding everything together for everyone around you?“ 

She stares at me, clenching her jaw. 

I meet her gaze, smiling, and ask, “don’t you ever wish someone else could take control; let you rest your mind, let yourself feel?”

Nerise stares at me for a long moment, jaw clenched and eyes glossy. She nods once. Mirri nudges me from behind. All three of us know what that nod meant.

I smile. “Wouldn’t it be good for someone to take care of you, for once, Nerise?”

She meets my eyes with something approaching vulnerability, then crosses her arms and looks away. “I doubt you’re up to the task.” 

Mirri lays her hand on the counter. “You doubt we’re up to the task?” 

Nerise stares at Mirri, then at me. After a long pause, she says, “I’ve got a lot to do here.” She continues staring back and forth at Mirri and me, as if she’s trying to say something without saying it.

“… I own the penthouse at St. Delyn’s Waistworks,” I say finally. 

Nerise is quiet for a few moments. “I’ll see how I feel later,” she says, her tone giving nothing away. 

“Fair enough,” says Mirri, suddenly chipper. “For now, we’ll stick to business.” Not far away from Nerise’s booth is a shelf of merchandise, and Mirri points to one of the mushrooms; long and thick with subtle ridges at the top. “I’ve got one like this back at the penthouse. What would you use to help it go down nice and easy?”

Nerise rolls her eyes and sighs, but says, “I usually recommend—“

“Bring it with you,” Mirri says, and turns to walk away, grabbing my arm to bring me along.

Nerise once again rolls her eyes and sighs, obviously having expected Mirri to say something like that. But she says, “I should tell you, I don’t go down without a fight. I’m rarely nice and never easy.”

Mirri grins. “Of course. See you soon.”

When we get outside, we’re giggling like kids. “That was awesome!” I say. “I didn’t know what to do—I just followed your lead! Very sexy, I have to say.” I affectionately bump Mirri with my hip.

“Thank you, sera,” Mirri says, bowing her head. “I may be inexperienced with threesomes, but let’s just say I have some idea of how to get people like Nerise Venim to unravel.”

“I don’t know,” I say. “She seemed a bit aloof about it all. You really think she’ll come over?”

“Oh, I suspect she will,” Mirri says coolly. “People like her need to hold onto the air of dominance right up until they’re on their backs—and from there it’s short work to get them on their knees.”

[lunchtimebedamned1997]

A journal entry of a truly fucked (fictional) man

An excerpt from the diary of Sebastian L. West (A character from my WIP series, Ashland Bites, CW: He's a simp)

(Please forgive the messiness of these quick sketches, they're all the art I have of him currently <3) ...

The taste of her skin - my god, I can't forget it though the memory has faded.

It's the cruelest kind of torture, to know something, to covet it, but to not be able to live solely within your own memory.

To only ever be able to regain it by not only the miracle of her forgiveness - but added requirement of the unlikely return of the feelings she once held for me.

How am I supposed to live knowing what I know of her? Knowing the depth of her soul and the luscious sounds and smells and tastes of her pleasure?

To not feel her against my lips, my tongue, wrapped around me in what must be a truly holy embrace.

Gods what I wouldn't do to have her back.

I can't think of a single thing.

I'd kill myself if it'd make her forgive me, forever rob myself of a future chance if it meant we'd be at peace with each other.

I have never known a creature more divine.

I wish she'd get over what I'd done - that she could, for even the barest, briefest moment understand that it was all for her. Even if it's not how she would have wanted things to go. Yes, I'll admit some of it was my ego, my pride - but how could I call my devotion love if I went to her destitute, with no real skill or craft fit for a man of low station. [Redacted] didn't want a man. Didn't want a husband, but her family demanded it. Our friendship and mutual lack of interest was a light in the dark of my shallow former torment. I know it was the lying, the deceit, more than anything that grated against [Redacted] - I knew it was of value to her, honesty, but I was willing to betray her trust if it meant having my Cecilia.

I knew it wouldn't truly hurt [Redacted] beyond the lie itself. And I could have never known the wound it would cause to my love. That both would want me dead so swiftly - I try to convince myself it was the heat of emotions, too soon an opportunity after the awfully timed reveal of my play.

Perhaps the universe forgives me for my follies even if they do not. I've been granted an eternity to chip away at her hurt until I am allowed a chance to make it right.

I am convinced, especially and increasingly over the last few decades of testing the waters of interest with others, that Cecilia is the only person in the world for me. That I will never love another.

I loved none before her, and i will love none after.

Even if she hates me for the rest of our lives, if her disdain stretches to the brink of eternity, I will love her still. I do not need her to love me to know she is the finest person to ever grace the Earth.

I do not need her forgiveness to feel that she is the beginning and end of my heart's wants.

I will wait - if ever death comes to greet her, I will slaughter who or whatever called him forth, and then I will join her in whatever awaits us, heaven, hell, the blank nothingness. There is no world without her light; even if I'm kept behind a curtain, if she is alive the light filters through.

How many journals must I have filled now with my aching?

Every time I see her my mouth opens and I am lost. My mind blanks, and any pretty words I may have written here evaporate between my tongue and the air, leaving me with only the most foolish, stupid things that only increase her dislike of me.

My only comfort in her hatred, beyond the proof of her continued existence, is the pure radiance of her rage.

An emotion so ugly on others, only highlights her beauty. Not as much as the peaceful bliss of comfort and trust I was once blessed to witness, but gods, its close enough to feel as though I am the chosen of a most generous god.

[ourpickwickclub]

Jenny just said that Gwen didn’t come to Tempe. She is on Kara’s IG Live in Tempe from her bus. She said they begged Gwen to come but she has to work tomorrow.

- B

Correction: Kara’s IG is from Ashland Craft’s trailer. She said Ashland lent them the use of the trailer to get ready and do the GXVE makeup live.

[wherewhereare]

Blake's IG 20240501

Ole Red Nashville 6th Anniversary party on 2 May.

Mark your calendars for May 2nd, because we’re throwin’ a FREE birthday shindig hosted by Jake Hoot with performances from Ole Red OGs Julia Cole, Ashland Craft, Dalton Dover, and a few big ole surprises up our sleeve. Come down on May 2 at 6:30 to join in on the action.

Doesn't say that Blake will be there, but you never know.

[auraeseer]

Why do we scream at each other? Out of beer . . .

[direwombat]

📻 for Syb. What's a song that emulates her joy?

send me a 📻 + an oc and i'll give you a song off their playlist!

ooooooh y'know i was almost worried that i didn't have a song for you because most of the songs on syb's playlist are angsty af. but there is one that's pretty upbeat and cheerful :)

this one is for sure a pre-reaping syb song that captures how she is outside of. y'know. being in an active warzone where her enemies are also waging intense psychological warfare on her. a song that captures the essence of what she's like when she's just chilling out and doesn't have the weight of people's survival on her shoulders :)

I like my beer from the bottom of a Walmart cooler I'm a Saturday cheap float above ground pool-er Yeah, every night's Friday night long as you're rolling with me I like my homegrown white shine straight from the holler Like my men in muddy boots, redneck, blue-collar What you see is what you get, is what you get, just wait 'til you see ... I can get a little dirty, I can clean up nice I can polish off a bottle, I'm just one of the guys But ya better think twice before you try to pull one over on me Where's all my good ole girls out there just like me? Yeah I ain't no straight line walker, ain't no smooth talk talker I'm a long way, wrong way prodigal daughter Might think there ain't a whole lot left but honey I believe Oh yeah, there's still some good ole girls out there just like me