#As usual I kinda feel like I started rambling.

[enchaentingly]

        she does realize they’ve stopped, eventually, eyes fluttering to adjust to the large picture. darker, maybe. but fear isn’t the conclusion allie comes to. it’s pretty, all the reds. they almost look like flowers, but allie thinks there just might be flowers in everything. the more she talks to casey, the closer she stands, the dreamier she gets, warmer, kissed by flame in her cheeks. she perks up with interest, remembering her lovely, very personal tour guide.  “ tell me about this one, ”  allie demands, turning half-way to casey and tapping her, gentle but close to her heart.  “ whaddya’ think? ”

        the edible helps, too, but it makes everything so much more. the surprise that comes at casey’s admission draws cartoonishly on her face.  “ you don’t date? like, never ever? ”  allie takes her hands back in hers, in her seriousness.  “ that’s so sad! dates are really fun, they’re, like, hanging out with people, but upgraded, ‘cause you get a kiss. and sometimes, you don’t have to kiss, if you don’t want! i love kisses, though, duhsies. but- but they’re special! that’s the point, dates are special. ”  as fretting starts to seep into her ramblings, all allie can think of is how lonely it is. she can’t stay single to save her life, and she doesn’t want to. she doesn’t ever want to be alone. how could she help casey? allie lights up.  “ wait, i have an idea! you could date me! ”

        all talking about monsters makes her want to do, is feel under casey’s skin, even more than she already does, to feel the flame for herself.  “ yes, i happen to like the snatching.”  she says cheekily, with a smile to match. despite casey’s assurances, and allie’s eagerness to believe every word she says, the thought continues to burrow deeper in her mind. all she can think is she really isn’t good at anything. she’s kinda’ useless, actually. but casey doesn’t seem to notice, she always responds so sweetly to everything allie does. it makes her crazy. her eyes grow wide listening to casey talk, as if it will help her observe the information.  “ oh gosh, i’m definitely not smart enough for that. ”  she says with a nervous laugh. of course, she still has a million questions, but she keeps it to a few.  “ do you find it scary, then? or, like, is it fun, then? or, both? sometimes people are like that, all mixed up like a salad. usually, if they’re scary and fun, that makes them hot, though. but i guess that’s not actually scary, i’m not scared of people. ”

They’re wandering a bit aimlessly, Casey brings them to a stop in front of one of the darker things that cover the walls. It makes her feel tense about how raw it is. Like all the ugly parts of someone’s insides splattered against the canvas. She doesn’t understand it, not really. Being so open, so brazen, not caring what anyone thinks. She wishes she could be that. Wishes she didn’t need to dull her fire, her spark. That she could char across page, leaving a trail of mottled black and fraying edges. Charcoal gray and embers sparking a multitude of heated colors. But that isn’t who she is. She can never be. She has a duty and obligation. To her coven, to her family. A controlled fire, it’s the only kind allowed if you don’t want to be snuffed out. At Allie’s words, she smiles down at her softly, enjoying the little squeeze.

“Hmm…I don’t date, but I like to watch movies with friends.” she offers, because it’s true, she doesn’t date. It brings questions sure, but those are easily brushed away by a busy schedule. Too much ambition. It saves her from having to entertain a barrage of men, keeps her free time open in case of an unexpected something behind closed doors. And with Riven and her being so close, oftentimes people just assume. It helps too, her grandmother never asks, just tells her he is handsome. That he has a worthy job to keep her company. And as long as the old woman isn’t poking into her business? Well, Casey will let her think what she wants about their relationship.

“Monsters, huh? Like the kind that creeps and snatches up pretty girls?” she jokes, catching on to the small hint easily. So Allie was a part of things, it was comforting to know. She shrugs at the confession. “It’s impossible to be great at everything unless you force it. And that’s really no fun. Nothing to be ashamed of.” At the question about her favorite horror movie, she has to think for a while about it. “Not really no, I’m really into less known films though. There is this one called The Bleeding House. It’s the kind of horror that gets deep-rooted in your head. I think psychological thrillers are my go to.”

[nerdnag]

Hi Sara! You are wise and cool and I'd appreciate advice if you have any! I am trying to make friends especially with fellow autistic people in real life but it is very very hard and scary also I don't know how to find people who want friends. Do you have any advice? (Please only answer if you want to!)

Thank you Ghostly!! 🙏 You are so valid - it *is* hard and scary to make irl friends!! (... Online friends too, tbh)

I don't know if I have any helpful advice, but I'll try!

I think what's worked best for me is to meet people in contexts that are related to specific, niche interests. I'm not entirely sure I have any IRL friends anymore who are only autistic, I do have a bunch who are both autistic and have ADHD though. And all of them, I've met through various kinds of special interests.

For example, several people in my TTRPG group are neurodiverse. How did I meet them? I happened to sit next to a guy I'd never spoken to before while at a work lunch, and we got to talking fantasy books (... I don't really remember how), which got us into RPG talk, which eventually led to him asking me by the end of the lunch whether I'd like to join the TTRPG group that he and some of his friends were starting up soon. That was 3,5 years ago, and we're still playing together to this day!

Another, I met through Magic: The Gathering - we were going to the same weekend event (not related to MtG) and I saw him post in a thread about looking for people to play some games with, so I replied to him, and we pretty much clicked right away because it turned out we had lots of other similar interests as well.

A third, I got to know through playing social deception games at yet another event, in which we sort of fell into a banter-y jargon while trying to convince everyone else to vote out the other. (We were both the wild cards in every game, because I had a habit of grinning wildly and looking generally untrustworthy regardless of which role I was given, and he had an absolutely straight face regardless and was really hard to read, so we pretty quickly identified each other as friendly rivals.) Then I figured out he lived in the same city as I did, and my train was cancelled, so I used my Charisma™ to hitch a ride with him and his dad back home :D

... So based on my own experiences, it seems I've mostly met other neurodiverse people through various kinds of games, which is one of my great passions in life! Depending on what your interests are, maybe there are events, groups or such that you could be on the lookout for? Sort of like it usually happens on Tumblr I guess, but IRL it's a bit harder since you have to do more work and research to find those places and communities.

The thing is though, it will always be scary. The first time I went to play with the TTRPG group, I was super scared. I barely said anything during the first hour or so, and even after several sessions, it still took some time each time to get back into it and relax. But I always have a lot of fun while playing, and I know they appreciate having me there, so that makes it easier to relax and not worry so much. It was the same thing with the MtG friend - I rewrote that first message sooo many times, and then had a racing heart by the time I went to meet up with him. The trick for me has been to recognise when it's worth pushing through that discomfort, and try to be accepting of the fact that sometimes it won't work out, but sometimes it will; sometimes it will lead to amazing friendships, but sometimes it will fizzle out or face plant before it could even start. And that's fine.

It gets easier with time in my experience, but it never gets easy. I've sort of had to accept that I usually don't make a great first impression. It's not that I make a bad impression, I just don't think I make much of an impression at all - I probably seem more shy than I really am, and sometimes my fears make me behave really awkwardly. But after a couple times, as I start to relax and get more comfortable being myself, I think I can make a really really good impression! And I stress a little less about first impressions when I remind myself of that.

Oh, and one more thing: I've personally found that it's a lot easier to meet new people if they are there by themselves. People who already hang out in groups are much harder to approach. Because of this reason, actually, I tend to avoid going to places together with my friends if my aim is to meet new people. It means I won't have the comfort and safety of my friends with me, but it increases the likelihood that I'll approach people I wouldn't have talked to others - or that they will approach me! (The friend I met through social deception games is the opposite, though. He says the comfort of having friends with him makes him more relaxed and confident, which makes it easier for him to meet new people.)

[pup-pee]

no1s mad i drew more konbart right?

last drawing is nirvana au // also i gave up on the 1st drawing mayb? i might return 2 it

[wayfinderships]

Oh boy! :D I can't wait to look through my f/os tag!

-1 HP

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[moonchild-in-blue]

I haven't really done much art for tumblr (at all) lately, cus life, but! Here's a lil something I've been working on (it's a Xmas gift) 💙

(also peep that lil January calendar painting 👀 i did mini squares for each month for myself, because I need to have a physical one always, and they each have their own colour 🥺)

[laugtherhyena]

Character inspo things, i thought about making these a lil while ago when the trend was going around but i could never think of enough characters to fill it all the way (i still can't, but eh fuck it)

[e77y]

The visceral and hungering loneliness is back. You know what that means! Bedtime

[scarecrowbutch]

if you'll allow me to be sappy on here for a moment, i want to say how happy it's made me to see more art of people/characters with cleft lips that aren't demonized or gross the past few years

i'd only begun drawing characters with cleft lips a few years ago and ever since then, drawing that and seeing others draw characters with it has helped my self image immensely, and i encourage anyone who has anything similar to draw their features more on ocs or faves and seeking out others who do similar 🧡🧡

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

every once in a while i remember that scott’s life series+empires characters being aro is not actually a hc that has occurred to most people and it really does throw me for a loop. there are very few characters where my personal hcs about their queerness so heavily affect how i analyze them but scott being aro really is a massive contributor to how i see his character and i see takes about him i agree w/ relatively frequently so i. forgot. this is at least partially because i have curated my dash well and rarely go into the tags but that is not the point.

[gregmarriage]

i don’t understand ppl who leave their packing, until the last minute. i am already packing and i don’t go anywhere for over a week, imao

[nervocat]

I love my cat sm

[vilelittlecritter]

Me: "I don't like people, I prefer being on my own and not talking"

People: "oh okay we'll leave you be then"

Me: "wait no PLEASE COME BACK I WANT LOVE-"

[rainbow-burst]

I being so fucking normal about this fit on him rn I'm beingsofuckingnormal I'm beingsofuckin nor-

[sn0wbat]

If you don’t mind, I saw the comic about vampire hair and it made me wonder what would Einarr look like with a beard?

the context

he'd rather not dwell on it too much

[scrawnytreedemon]

Part of me, after all this time of kinda feeling 'eh' about the prospect, wants to try dating. Issue is that I basically have no options in my area, and as many lovely people as there are online who I'm compatible with... Once we officially start dating, I just can't keep up?

It's a mixture of not having anything physical to do(not even talking that I mean like going out and shit) and also needing to be more active online when my track record is already very spotty, lol.

Plus, thinking about the future, y'kno? Not even in a marriage and kids kinda way, but like,,, how viable would it be to close the distance? What if I found someone more generally suited to me in my area, even if we don't share that soul-bond?

It ends up being easier to stay friends, even if in person I know I'd be all over them. Don't want to strain the lovely thing we already have.

[silverselfshippingchaos]

this is one of my favorite k.yohei moments!!