#As panicky over such a stupid reason idk

[sick-as-a-dog]

×

[fanficsandfluff]

The Snyder Cut: Headcanons (mostly of the tickly nature)

Bruce Wayne (Batman) ~ Batfleck, my love

He’s such a lover boy, and I can say that though I don’t exactly know how to explain what I mean. You just gotta understand.

He cares so strongly about EVERYONE. e v e r y o n e. Alfred, fucking loves the guy, jokes with him. The fucking “This is Alfred, I work for him.” MY MAN, STOP!

I think he just really wants to get along with everyone and wants everyone to get along in general.

But he lowkey crushes on Diana (at least in his mind, he’s keeping it lowkey, but we all see what’s happening)

I love the idea of this big hunk of a man getting soft with someone like Diana. 

She makes him genuinely laugh this one time by saying something funny, and then they’re both laughing together. 

Bruce definitely has one of those laughs where he throws his head back and shit and you can see his like Adam’s apple bobbing and everything.

But that’s if he’s really laughing.

And he has loud “HA”’s that are like really short but loud and then he kinda just snickers to himself for a while, holding his stomach.

And dude, the scene in freaking uhh… i think it’s BvS I’m not 100% (maybe i fucking imagined it who knows) where she like comes over to him and is fixing his wound….. tickle scenario hand picked from the gods right there

I can see a whole, “Woah!” from Bruce when Diana traces her fingers on some sensitive skin. And that Gal Godot smile is on her in an INSTANT. 

Bruce will laugh if he’s with the right person. Like I headcanon that if he’s being tickled, he will laugh if it’s done by Diana or Barry, then like he’ll be forced to laugh if it’s Clark bc he overpowers the poor bat, but then he just has these hilarious bouts of angry growls and chuckles if Arthur is going after him. 

I can’t even write about Batfleck being a ler because I will literally explode, so I’m done here 

(((((butseriouslyifanyonewantstotalklerbatfleckwithmehmuplz)))))

Diana Prince (Wonder Woman) 

I know the GIF isn’t from ZSJL but just let me live, ok? (Also I couldn’t find the one of Gal wiggling her fingers YOU KNOW THE ONE I’M TALKING ABOUT)

First off, Gal is the most horrible queen of giggles. I’ve seen those blooper reels. My god, girl, how do you keep getting hired?

SHE HAS SUCH A BIG SMILE IT’S LIKE THE ROCK IDK HOW THEIR TEETH AND MOUTH GET SO WIDE LOOKING

Diana will start tickle fights without a doubt.

She’s already very trustful and I also feel pretty handsy with people, especially those she may feel close to. So if she’s playful, you best watch out.

Her favorite targets are Bruce and Barry. I will not take criticism. Diana attacking Barry and reducing him to panicky shrieky laughs is my #1 thought. It’s not even living rent free, I’m commissioning it to be there.

Diana is one to laugh with her victims. She will wreck them and have a great time doing so. 

She’ll be ticklish if she wants to be, but it isn’t often she gets pinned and tickled or anything like that.

The guys try to stay away from her or not go after her with tickles for fear of retaliation.

AQUAMAN, CYBORG, SUPERMAN, AND THE FLASH UNDER THE CUT

Arthur Curry (Aquaman)

So…. my man isn’t really ticklish. I really don’t think he is, I feel like his Atlantean genes make his skin a special kind of hard, if that makes sense?

THAT BEING SAID ARTHUR IS THE BIGGEST LER OMGGG

He’ll try and act all cool and ‘whatever’ around the League cuz that’s kind of his persona.

But he slowly gets to like them more and more and his playful side starts to come out.

He’ll tickle Barry out of pure annoyance. Like if Barry makes any kind of comment, he’ll just point his finger out and get that glint in his eye and Barry is sprinting for the hills.

Here’s my favorite headcanon: Arthur will tickle Bruce because he knows it pisses him off when he does it. Bruce will fight back and keep Arthur in his sights at all time and curse and growl at him. And Arthur thinks it’s hilarious.

Arthur as a ler will taunt and tease until the cows come home

“Huh, big guy? What’s that? Ahawww that’s what I thought!... Not so fast/tough/etc. now!... I will wreck you.”

Victor Stone (Cyborg)

Unfortunately… not ticklish. :(

But this boy has the sweetest laugh you will ever hear, and I will die on that hill. 

Now that he has friends (superpowered friends, no less), he can slowly come alive and be himself. 

I can see Victor not getting involved in tickle fights at first, but at a certain point he’ll be all like, “Okay, step aside so we can do this right” and just PIN THE SHIT OUT OF WHOEVER IS BEING TICKLED. His extra robot arms are killer!

Okay, when he laughs for the first time in front of the group, there’s that cliche moment of pause where everything stops and everyone just stares and listens to him. It’s so rare to hear him laugh because the poor kid barely even smiled around them in the beginning. 

He SMIRKS

Now hear me out on this…

Okay, so half a face. Great. Weird. We love it. But you can see all of mischievous Victor when the guy SMIRKS. You see his eye squint and you can swear his robot eye gets a gleam of a different color. 

Wait honestly as I was writing that, the thought of Victor’s eye and like his apparatus changing color based on his mood is golden.

Me sitting here, lowkey wishing Victor’s robot body had some kind of cuddly mode like Baymax lmfaoooo 

Like the defense mode his body went into when he was around resurrected Supes, but for cuddles and being cute.

Clark Kent (Superman)

I was debating even including any headcanons for Superman bc I don’t care about him much, honestly.

I am v happy they kept in the whole ‘him staring at Flash through the speed storm’ scene bc I laughed so hard at that the first time i saw Josstice League in the theater. 

Also I didn’t really like the black superman costume??? I’m not a comic buff, so I’m assuming that’s why. I am like the one person who missed the color from the Josstice League cut. Don’t miss the stupid red sky in the finale, but I miss every other ounce of color that was just SUCKED right out of the Snyder Cut.

Clark and Bruce are besties now, I don’t make the rules. Bruce bought the man his house back. By buying the bank. He’ll take care of him.

And I’ve always simped for those two ever since BvS, bc I’ve already written like two fics where they tickle each other. 

Clark overpowering Bruce to tickle the shit out of him makes me so happy lol. Big strong boy Batfleck looking thiccc over here… but put him against Superman and he’s donezo. Because as mentioned earlier, I do think Bruce is pretty ticklish. 

But Clark can have his lee side when he’s feeling nice

He’s got that mighty chuckle, almost like how Thor might laugh. 

And he really likes getting involved in tickle fights with the League. He knows all of them are sorta afraid of him on the daily anyway, but have that power added to a tickle fight and it’s fun as hell. 

He’s gotten taken down by them ONCE. And I mean exactly (1) O N C E.

They all teamed up. Bing, bang, boom. Pinned him to the floor and they each took an area of skin and fucking SQUEEZED AND WIGGLED. They were trying to incapacitate him as quickly as possible. And dangummit, he laughed a lot! Like Clark realized just how ticklish he could feel if he wanted to feel it. 

And don’t even get me started on Lois, he’s big on getting her to giggle and she likes toying with him and running her hands all over his body (bc who wouldn’t?)

Barry Allen (The Flash)

I waited to write about Barry last because I have so much to say about this character....

and then I fell asleep and waited until the next day to write anything down about him so now I’m totally not in the mood and I forgot all the salient points I was planning on making.

fuck you, michelle.

I got a weird relationship with this character. He was mad annoying in the Josstice League. Thank goodness they trimmed his bad jokes down.

But now....

when he got hurt at the end and he was like crying and shit oh my god I wanted to hug him

His character got so... good

And I’m now at the right age where I can think about myself in a relationship with this character with no changes or shame

We both out here trying to find that one good job after college and everything

BARRY JUST WANTS FRIENDS, GUYS

HE’S THAT CUTE

And then he got this whole found family schtick with the Justice League!!! Lookit him!!! Thriving!

He has total little brother energy

like, pesky little brother. Bothers everyone, looks over people’s shoulders while they’re deep in thought or concentrating on something.

Asks a lot of questions.

All the more reason for the gang to want to tickle the shit out of him.

Barry just reads like a super ticklish lee. Like his whole character.

Maybe touch starved because he said he needed friends, and I don’t think he has siblings??? (sorry if i’m wrong about that, comic fans)

I already named some of my fav headcanons about him getting tickled by like Diana and such, and I’m sticking with it.

Barry does flee. He runs away with super speed.... but sometimes he just kinda wants the tickles so he lets them have at him. 

The chase is all part of the fun with tickling Barry, though. That’s what makes it so entertaining. And Barry isn’t afraid to be a little shit about it either. He will super-speed around his pursuers and poke their sides and tickle them back really quickly before they even know what’s happening. 

Barry doesn’t exactly hold back his laughter lol. He’ll protest and scream and squirm like crazy, but once he’s actually tickled, he loses it.

Pure boy. With funny ass facial expressions.

And it really doesn’t help that I never realized just how hot Ezra Miller is, even though I heard he’s not a great person irl. Oh well.

THAT’S ALL FOLKS!

Please please let me know if y’all have things to add, to squee over, to question me about... please. anything. i’m here for you. thanks for reading, guys!

[slightlyunconventional]

alr um. ka/z snz hcs go

word of warning they kinda suck? because im just, idk i waffle

- i think he definitely has spring allergies like hayfever yk (definitely not inspired by One Single Line from the book)

- also wy/lan has hayfever like him but there is a difference., wy/lan takes meds for it because he's sensible and it makes it sm better for him

but k/az doesn't . because for some reason medication just makes it worse for him; he gets SO MUCH sneezier and he hates it. a lot. but sometimes it's cute

- dust allergy

yeah im like such an allergyfcker what abt it it's hot alright

i think k/az would just be so sensitive to dust and it's the one time he can't stifle/hold back properly because it's SO itchy like hello 👀

this is why he's never the one doing all the sneaking around in heists because he literally cannot

i had a stupid little scenario in my head about this it's very stupid so bear with me

so in the crows' headquarters or whatever we pretend they have a library; nothing too grand just a nice (very dusty) library with some fairly relevant books

and imagine k/az goes one day after a certain book to read cause he's bored so he goes and looks for it but he can't find it (definitely not because jes/per took it and hid it just to see k/az lose his dignity c o m p l e t e l y

so k/az is like . where is my book. and starts to minorly panic because every ounce of dignity he ever had is about to go out of the window in less than a minute bc that dust is well and truly in his system and its gonna take a lot to get it out-

so in conclusion he ends up snzing the rest of the evening throwing everyone glares that really have no impact because his entire face is a complete mess like red nose eyes watering still sniffling and like,,, so SO sensitive still it's unbelievable. he can barely hold eye contact for two seconds before he's hitching again

ok what. that scenario was a whole lot of waffle . i tried ok im tired u can let ur brains fix it

anyway continuing with hcs

- he stifles pretty much every time when he can: yk gotta keep up that cool controlled demeanor right ;)

- when he doesn't manage to stifle or hold back the sounds of the snz varies, but it's usually mid-volume and fairly vocal kind of like

"ihHk'tCHUH! ..ehihH--hK'SHUHh!"

- however if he's particularly deep in a fit, as it progresses it just kind of?? tires him out ???? so they get softer and inherently cuter in some's eyes; more of a

"h-huh'isHhu! iht'sHuh!"

- definitely muffles into his coat collar,, like that material is just so thick and welcoming who wouldn't want to

- i can see him being germophobic to an extent and gets kinda panicky when he's ill, but he knows in/ej and jes/per are always there to support <333333

- much to his dismay of course he seems to get a nasty cold every winter. always so messy and sneezy he can't keep it together

following on from that the rest of the crows definitely make bets as to when he'll FINALLY show any sign of being sick over winter

he'd come down the stairs on a snowy december morning just a few minutes later than he usually would, and in/ej can just tell by his face that it's gonna be a bad day so she just sighs and says "go back to bed"

why do i suck at writing these

- in reference to the first hc + a post i made recently he's very very sensitive to especially roses,, they make him so itchy and hitchy do not eveN

- how about with regards to just random sneezes like

not caused by anything just Happen yk

i say he sneezes in triples because that's nice

- also sometimes he stumbles a bit when he sneezes bc bad leg and all that

- oh also how i mentioned how he muffles into his collar well sometimes he doesn't right so

when he tries to hold back which is like every time, but he fails,, 9 times out of 10 he doesn't have the time to duck down and clamp his collar around his face so there's a brief moment of panic before he just has to sneeze loosely into a lifted elbow like--

"ihh-hihh..-ehHK'TSCHH!"

usually by this point it's pretty rough and sometimes messy. knocks the wind out of him for sure

- if anyone notices him so desperately trying to hold back it's just a sigh and a click of the fingers in front of his face to break his concentration, slack features and watering eyes immediately snapping forward with a likely violent sneeze absolutely ripping through him

of course that usually earns him a few snorts from around the room, possibly a sigh and shake of the head from his wraith ;)

aaaaaanyway it's getting late and that's all i can think of rn. bye byeeee

[danorexiic]

rant/vent incoming

the emotional impact from dinner is still really shaking to me. like, is this what my life has come to? it was so pathetic, my mom was trying to get me to eat and we were out of the safe chicken soup and i couldn't find anything else that didn't make me super stressed out. i was literally crying over a stupid grilled cheese and forcing it down. i hadn't had one in so long, i didn't realize how much of a fear food they'd become. i was panicky and mad and just so emotionally devastated by a fucking soup and sandwich. i can't have proper home cooked meals anymore?? packaged shit feels so much safer, my moms cooking is terrifying. and she seems worried about my eating and i feel guilty but i'm also just mad for some reason?? like leave me alone??? idk i think was kind of in denial about my ed and this really shook me. idk

[cross-d-a]

For the give me a character ask 💕 LI CU!!!!!!!

LI CU LI CU LI CU LI CU MY BABY BOY 

you know every day i ask myself: “li cu can’t be your favourite character, right? like you’d die for iron triangle and you’d kill for xiao bai and you’d give your body and soul to free princess mute, like- it can’t be li cu, right?” and then i look myself in the mirror and go: “stop lying to yourself”

WOW THIS GOT LONG SO THE REST IS UNDER THE CUT

How I feel about this character:

Might possibly be my fav dmbj dumbass. who knows. certainly not me. i just- LOVE HIM?? SO MUCH???? He sucker-punched me from the very beginning with his TEARS and his DESPERATION and his ACCUSATIONS OF KIDNAPPING. and ok he’s also a Dumb Teenage Boy and ok maybe he tries Too Hard to be a Normal Dumb Teenage Boy, like he’s going through the motions and maybe I relate a little ok idk.

And I just- adore that so much of Sha Hai is through his perspective?? Because it is very much Li Cu’s story. He’s an outsider here diving into a world we already know so well and Wu Xie is the catalyst. And really- it’s about seeing a character whom we all adore (Wu Xie) who is Hurting and Desperate and Raw (bc Xiao Ge), and he’s doing his best to fulfill a HUGE storyline but maybe he catches Feelings along the way. Maybe he adopts a son who is also Hurting but for very different reasons. And maybe it’s about seeing these two people who are lost and alone find each other in this chaos, see the good in each other, and help them find the good in themselves.

I already screamed about Li Cu’s character at you last night because I just- have So Many Feelings about him. But I think the core of Li Cu’s character really resonates with me?

It’s all about him finding a reason to live and a reason to love himself and a reason to care about himself. And it’s all about him letting others love and care about him, too.

Li Cu’s been told his whole life that he isn’t worth the air he breathes and he isn’t worth the trouble he causes. He isn’t worthy of love or sacrifice or kindness. And so much about Sha Hai is Li Cu realizing that he is. 

As you pointed out so beautifully, Sierra, Wu Xie is in such an awful place, and yet he still helps Li Cu realize his worth. And, re our conversations about how Li Cu views Pingxie, Wu Xie helps Li Cu realize that that love that can a beautiful, kind thing. Painful sometimes, and so fucking hard. But it’s worth it, if you want it.

And honestly, I think a lot of the Tiger Trio is about this, too: finding a reason to live, getting out of the motions of pretending to be a Normal Teenage Boy, finding a reason to love yourself and realizing it’s okay to let others love and care and fight for you, too. 

They’re already friends, but Sha Hai truly brings them together. Makes them realize they are worth it and there is someone who cares about them and will fight for them and will follow them to the fucking ends of the earth. 

It’s about finding FAMILY and I fucking LOVE THAT for them!!!!

I adore our Ya Li so much I could cry (i do. i do cry)

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

You know, I wrote a little about family and love, and promptly tripped into shipping Jia Kezi/Li Cu so hard I straight up blacked out.

I also am interested in Jia Kezi/Li Cu/Li Jiale 👀👀👀 but have not explored this yet.

I have Feelings about Li Cu/Shen Qiong/Wang Can bc of @traineecryptid’s  AMAZING fic 老牛吃嫩草| old cow eats young grass which I think about Often. I honestly don’t really ship straight up Li Cu/Shen Qiong, but adding Wang Can’s Chaotic Murder Element Does Things to me.

I want to ship Li Cu/Su Wan/Hao Ge but anything past Kissing and Holding Hands makes me cover my face in Embarrassed Despair bc they are my BABIES my SONS i cANT

and you already know about that One Very Specific time travel au where it’s li cu/wu xie/xiao ge i have a LOT of FEELINGS about THAT but only for that Very Specific Circumstance

I actually headcanon Li Cu as demi/bi, leaning more towards ace, bc it just?? Fits so well, in my opinion?? I don’t really wanna imagine him having Sexy Times with anyone, just Sweaty, Embarrassed, Panicky Feelings (except for that Very Specific Time Travel au but we’ve talked about this). Maybe this will change. But for now he is simply My Son and I wish him happiness in whatever form he so chooses.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I WOULD DIE FOR THE TIGER TRIO!!! FOR ALL THE REASONS STATED ABOVE!! THEY’RE DUMB TEENAGE BOYS LEARNING TO LOVE THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER.

I also unrepentantly would die for Shen Qiong&Wang Xiaoyuan&Li Cu&Su Wan&Hao Ge&Wang Can BROT6. I- wow. okay. Might actually write a fic about this. They are the Next Generation, learning from the Iron Triangle/HeiHua/Su Nan and they are learning from past mistakes and SURPASSING THEM and everyone is SO PROUD LOOK AT THEM GO!!!!!!!! And okay maybe let’s add some Xiao Bai in there, too, hm?

And- well. not BROTP, but it is our Classic FATHER&SON DUO LI CU & WU XIE. They are my favourite thing about Sha Hai. Full stop. They make me Feel Things and Cry. They’re what really got me into Sha Hai and the greater dmbj universe. :)

ALSO LI CU & SPIRIT SNAKE ✨ BFFS FOREVER ✨

My unpopular opinion about this character:

UHHHHH I have no idea I’ve never thought about this before UUHH ARE there unpopular opinions???

OH maybe unpopular opinion is that Li Cu is demi/bi instead of Straight Up Sweaty Gay. he’s just Sweaty bc oH NO HE’S NEVER FELT LIKE THIS BEFORE??? HE L P???

OH also maybe unpopular opinion is that he and the original Shen Qiong actually were good friends and maybe each other’s only friend until Su Wan came along.

And okay maybe this is another unpopular opinion: Li Cu did actually start falling for Shen Qiong but he’s a Confused demi who has a difficult time telling the difference between friendship and romance and also it was a Really Shitty Situation. and he’ll forever wonder if they could have been Something or just Really Good Friends and he’ll never know 🙃

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

MORE SPIRIT SNAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I want them fighting over control of his body. I want Spirit Snake kicking ASS. I want more of those CRAZY DEAD PEOPLE VISIONS ok i have HEADCANONS about those and I think it was the SPIRIT SNAKE and not whatever the fuck Wu Xie said it was. I want Trauma, I want Reluctant Found Family, I want Li Cu letting the spirit snake take the reins of his body every so often so it can actually Live and maybe get Li Cu’s ears pierced and dress up gnc as FUCK bc the spirit snake don’t need no Stupid Human Gender. and- sierra, as you so eloquently put, Li Cu looking at himself and going “OH?” 👀 bc hELL YEAH THAT’S STUCK IN MY HEAD NOW LET LI CU BE GNC

I’m assuming we’ll get more spirit snake in Sha Hai 2, but if it’s not Leo Wu playing Li Cu I will burst into Actual Tears.

Sierra thank you for letting me cry about My Actual Son Li Cu. \(´；ω；`)/

[macronalds]

For Reasons, I recently found myself rewatching “The Gang Chokes” in order to examine Mac’s behavior and reasoning therein.  I ended up writing a stupidly long, probably stupidly stupid, essay about it, and had a lot of fun in the process, so I wanted to post it here for posterity.  Below the cut, please find in adapted form my argument for Why You Can’t Call A Plan Desperate If It’s Working.

ETA: The Reasons were helping the amazing @weareintheblankbit with the fic Add It Up.  Even if you make the right choice and skip this monstrosity of a post, don’t miss her excellent story.

——

To me, Mac doesn't seem predominantly panicky or fearful in this episode.

     His actions overall, here and in the later “The Gang Texts,” look like a purposeful abandonment of ego in contrast to similarly obsequious but more objectively pathetic behavior in “The Gang Escapes” (I have feelings about the sadness of season 13 and the dividing line of Mac Finding His Pride between then and the next year, but I can't work out how to figure those ideas in and keep this even close to a cogent essay).  Here, as in the opening “The Gang Gets Romantic,” Mac has a plan that he's constructed and is following - and while he does sometimes get stuck in the execution of it, on the whole he's successfully sticking to a throughline. For instance, when Dennis rebuffs his query at the start about what he will be eating, he doesn't get flustered about it, he just keeps on doing what he's decided is the thing to do.  "Again, Dennis, what am I to be having?"  And like, that's not really floundering.  It was obviously Dennis's idea back in the day to order everyone's meals for them (”The Gang Gets a New Member”); Mac's just trying to harken back to it.

    (Talking about back in the day, I have a whole thing about how the central "problem" over the course of their friendship, through like season 11, was that they pretty much were in a nascent "gay relationship.”  As long as they didn’t call it that, it worked for them.  The snag: Mac was afraid of being Gay, and Dennis was afraid of committing to being in a Relationship.  Mac, now, has finally become comfortable with himself - Dennis isn't there yet.  The story of season 14 for me is that Mac wants to return to the unnamed state of absurd closeness they had back then, but is trying to take the lead from Dennis in making it happen.)

    The thing is, I think this plan (to make Dennis happy in their relationship again) is mostly beginning to work here.  He really seems to have hit on something close to what Dennis wants: to be taken care of.  Dennis approves of many of Mac's actions in this episode.  For instance, Dennis is IMPRESSED that Mac remembers his dairy "allergy."  He's EXCITED for Mac to be his food gatekeeper, and waits expectantly for him to continue rejecting the rest of that pizza.  Mac has correctly identified a role that Dennis wants him to take on; it's just that he's bad at it, and that (the not remembering Dennis's problems with the other ingredients) is what gets Dennis's goat.  You see, although Mac is deeply caring, I think you can make a factual statement that his ADHD qualities* make him a bad schemer, and yeah, he is also fundamentally needy, and checks in for guidance too often for Dennis's comfort.  The points at which Dennis gets frustrated in Chokes are when Mac's ability to contribute what he wants from him in the relationship is compromised by his incompetence, leading to Dennis fearing that he can't really rely on him (and therefore anyone, because he doesn't come close to trusting literally anyone else).

*I refer to this sincerely, not in a glib way; please note however that I am not a mental health professional. I just want to refer to the traits he has that are associated with this diagnosis without proclaiming that I know he has it for sure.

    And that brings me to the question of: does a plan count as desperate if it's working?  It looked to me like Dennis wanted Mac to massage his muscles and tape his ankles, wanted Mac to warn him about pollen and carry him home like a princess.  He got back in Mac's arms twice after being dropped, for god's sake.  I don't think he's merely succumbing to Mac's fussiness for Mac's benefit, although Dennis may not want to admit that to himself.  Dennis always wants to feel like he's in control.  Micromanaging all of his friends helps keep him from spiraling out.  HOWEVER: quote: "With real power comes real responsibility, and I don't want any of that shit.  I just want the money and the illusion of power" (”Sweet Dee Gets Audited”).  I see a lot of utter exhaustion from Dennis in season 14, and I think stems of it lie in accidentally having convinced [Mac, himself, IDK] that his power and therefore his responsibility are real, and in feeling like he's alone in controlling his struggle of a life.

    So he falters in playing along with the intricate rituals.  He's afraid it's the wrong choice.  Mac's solution to this: aight, guess I'ma have to poison him and make it not a choice!  Mac states his opinion at the end of the episode that Dennis will inevitably see through all ruses, and potentially be impressed by Mac's devotion nonetheless, and I think that assessment includes the pizza shakes.  What's more, I think he's right.  We see Dennis looking curiously at the tumbler of protein drink on the basketball court, smacking his lips and turning it side to side.  I think it's obvious that he can tell straight away that it's made of pizza, which he has just reminded Mac that he's intolerant of, yet he drinks it anyway and shortly goes all faint.  When they get to the final restaurant trip, Dennis tells Mac he's feeling better, no thanks to his efforts.  Then, when a shake appears, he immediately decides he needs it anyway.  Again, there is no way he doesn't know Mac's making them out of pizza.  He's just so excited to play this damn game!  Dennis wants to depend on Mac, he likes being taken care of, and if he's been "poisoned," no one can fault him for not staying in control like he purports to want.  He just needs to be carried home again, goddammit.

    For me this episode is Mac is trying to take his cues from Dennis, to read the signs from him on what Mac should be doing as a good friend to him.  He's just not great at it.  Dennis is a complicated man, but also, Mac has never done subtlety well.  He needs to refine his approach, and in taking responsibility for his actions, including the ~fussing~, back off Dennis's shoulders, I think he succeeds.  Look at Dennis's face at the end of the episode: game, recognize game.  

     In conclusion, this is why I don’t think "fear and anxiety" ring true as a read for Mac’s motivations in Chokes.  Nerves definitely happen when he finds himself incurring Dennis’s ire in the course of his plan - a strong need for approval has been seared into the bones of this man - but the gestures of care and affection themselves aren’t born of desperation.  He knows what Dennis wants.  If he can get Dennis to let himself have it, he knows they can both be happy.  His plan is born of hope, and I think that noun just hits different.

the end :)

[c-c-cherry]

Mista Whump headcanons? I loved his chapter in the dadbacchio fic!

Hi! I’m glad you’re liking Communication Breakdown so far, the new chapter should be out once I’m done with my Halloween stuff! <3

//content warning for whump-related shit (sickness, major injury, etc..)

◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇

I feel like I should just shove in my pre-established headcanons that I always have for Mista before I start like what I did for my man Jonathan:

-Oldest in the family and (ironically) has four younger sisters! 

-His parents worked a LOT growing up so he was often treated as the third parent growing up, doing almost everything for them in search of their approval

-It made him very responsible, but it also made him feel like he had to be responsible for everything and everyone

-That mindset followed him to where he is now; no matter how relaxed he seems to be, there’s always a feeling in the back of his head that he has to manage everything and be responsible for everyone’s safety and health

-Loves physical affection but would rather die than be an “active burden” on anyone

-Not in any form of contact with his family since he went to prison (and misses them a lot) ;(

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Pain Tolerance

-Getting shot? Been there, done that. Kidnapped and interrogated? He can hold off for a surprisingly long amount of time. Drugged? Barely even phases him.

-We all know he probably has the highest pain tolerance in the entire team

-Partially because it seems like he always gets hurt no matter what he’s doing

-I headcanon him as the oldest in his family so he was always brought up to have really thick skin and was always thought to be the most responsible growing up

-His parents were working all the time, so that meant he had to take care of his siblings whenever they were hurt

-But meant when he was injured as a kid, he had to deal with it himself :/

-When he first joined the gang, it was:

1) weird not being the oldest, and

2) really weird having people actually worried about you when you got hurt

-Even with Giorno having Gold to help them out all the time and Giorno insisting that its literally his stand’s purpose, he still feels this weighted guilt every time he needs someone else’s help

-Our man acts all whiny about it but truthfully, if he was given the option, he would much rather ride it out on his own or deal with things himself :(

Injury

-In all honesty, he’s probably one of the only members of the team that wouldn’t be opposed to going to a hospital

-Whereas Bruno or Narancia would be fucking terrified of stepping foot in one again for obvious reasons, the rest of the gang are just pretty stubborn about it

...

-He tends to be overdramatic most of the time when he gets hurt, but you can tell when something is really hurting him when he’s absolutely silent

-It’s almost the opposite of his other team members; most of them get uncharacteristically loud and panicky when they’re in serious serious pain but it's almost like his brain just completely shuts down

-He gets so quiet that he’s basically unresponsive and his body keeps trying to numb itself as the pain gets worse and worse

-It always bites him in the ass later when his state starts wearing off and all the pain his body was blocking out comes back tenfold and it's just OUCH

...

-Mista’s a pretty touchy guy. He practically lives off human contact

-Except when he’s hurt.

-His body kicks into this weird overdrive where he wants no one to touch him and he’s just supposed to deal with it himself

-Idk how accurate this actually is in canon but I headcanon that Gold Experience’s healing methods don’t actually hurt that much, it's actually pretty soothing for most people

-The reason Mista always freaks out whenever Gold is healing him is because of his weird defense mechanism that kicks in when he’s hurt

Sickness

-His chapter in Comm Break was pretty much just a sickfic because I decided to give him appendicitis, but I have other headcanons hehehe…

-I was actually going to make him lactose intolerant in the first draft and the chapter being about him having no fucking idea why he was sick and Abbacchio just being like “...dude...”

-I eventually dropped it for something with similar elements but more of a dramatic plot, but I still like the headcanon that he’s too dumb to know that getting sick all the time after eating dairy just isn’t normal

...

-He loves taking care of other people because it reminds him of taking care of his sisters; like he’ll be willing to do anything and he’s a master at making people feel better :)

-But him?

-Oho,,,he fuckin hates being sick >:)

-Maybe not Giorno in The Unknown levels of hatred, but the fact that everyone does nothing but makes sure he’s okay the entire day gives him this warm, fluffy feeling in his chest that MAKES HIM EMOTIONALLY CONFUSED because no one ever gave a shit about him pre-passione

-Is he the type of person to completely deny any feeling of ailment until it’s definitely too late? YES. DEFINITELY.

-Usually it's one of the bucci gang who will figure out he’s under the weather before he does.

“You’re looking a bit pale...”

“Nope.”

“Are you feeling alright? You don’t look so good.”

“Totally fine!”

-He’ll refuse to rest until he passes out, is pressed up against the tiles on the bathroom floor, or someone (usually Bruno) shoves a thermometer in his mouth and proves that he absolutely HAS to

-Give him some medicine and he’ll pass out for HOURS. All he’ll do is sleep because he wants to get over it as soon as possible

Emotional Stress

-Mista’s like an open book when it comes to most emotions

-You might not know when he’s hurt, but you’ll sure as well know when he’s sad or stressed

-He’s not afraid to cry, and even though he probably won’t tell anyone why he’s sad, bottling up his emotions was just something that he was never prone to doing

-Bruno’s gotten used to finding him in the kitchen at 3am waiting for his bread to toast and there’s just tears and Bruno’s like “...Meesta ;-;”

-but then there’s hugs so it's ok :,)

-Also Mista is definitely the type of person to just kind of slink into a room and have someone be like “what’s up?” and he’s like “I’m feeling fucking terrible!! :))))” and before they can even reply BOOM WATERWORKS-

-He’s ultimately not ashamed of it because it helps keep him regulated in the long run (and the homies are always willing to provide him with that good comfort) :)

This sad shit is the exception though…

-When he’s with the bucci gang, he’s not afraid to let his emotions run wild sometimes because he knows it’s always little things to keep him chill

-Not about this, though. Because he actually considers this big

...

-Mista has eternal homesickness for his family.

-His parents, his sisters, his uncles and aunts and cousins.. they all cut contact when he went to prison

-It wasn’t a huge fight, but a slow burn of distancing from each other.

-He misses them so damn much. He misses his childhood home, and the way his Madre would cook, and the stupid shit his sisters used to do...

-It comes and goes in waves; most days the feelings don’t hit him but sometimes, especially on holidays, birthdays of his family members, and even his own birthday, it hits hard.

-Normally when something’s bothering him he doesn’t see a problem in just talking or venting to someone

-But with this it's different because he knows if he starts talking about it, it’ll just be uncontrollable and he’ll be a fucking mess if he even tries

-Mista, despite his demeanour, is extremely good at hiding his feelings when he has to ;-;

-He’s too embarrassed to tell anyone, so he spends a lot of those days curled up in his room, sobbing into his pillow

-Even on holidays, when it’s hard to celebrate at all, he manages to hold it in until celebrating is over

-He knows they all suspect something is up, but he also knows that they won’t push him to say anything

-They can all tell he gets fragile certain times of the year, so they try their best to be extra soft with him when he does decide to come out and spend time with them <3

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I really do love writing for Mista. I should do it more sometimes!!

Got a headcanon you want fulfilled? Askbox is open!! <3

[ging-ler]

Idk if it counts as (1) thing but I’d like to know your top 5 characters in any media you’ve related to or loved the most? 🥺

Oooh you know what, I wanna do the ones I relate to the most. Because in all honesty there are not too many characters that I look at and I’m like yep thats me. Here’s my best list:

1.) Jirou and Kaminari from MHA

Im combining them into one because I feel like I can’t fully relate to them, but parts of their personalities I can and if I took those parts and mashed it together it would fully be me. I relate to Jirou because I am self conscious both about my looks and my talents. I get extremely nervous to show my off anything I work on, every time I post art all I can think of “is this good enough?” Don’t even get me started on singing and writing. I can barely show my sister that side of me, I get so scared. I also feel like I have her chill composure and I love music. On the other hand, I sometimes have Kaminari’s panicky composure. I relate to a lot of his anxieties. A lot of the time he looks at fictional situations and he’s like “lets just get out of here, it’s not like this is a real situation anyways” He doesn’t always think things through but at the same time he overthinks his role as a hero instead of just being one. I relate to that, a lot of the time I overanalyze myself rather than letting myself be, and I don’t always go about things the smartest way. But he’s also funny and supportive and I like to think I’m those things too (I would never be friends with mineta tho sorry Kaminari I’m just built different.) Oh also these two are bi as fuck so there’s that. 

2.) Hiro Hamada from Big Hero 6

Okay in every way, shape, and form, I should relate to Anna from Frozen more than Hiro. I have an older sister who I am really close to plus I’m a redhead. Plus Hiro is a mathematical and scientific genius at 14 years old and I barely passed the only math class I had to take for college. But idk, something about his relationship with Tadashi just hit me. I really did feel like he was a stubborn younger sibling that didn’t know shit about the opportunities given to him until his brother showed him the way. And I related to that a lot, hell I’m still in that stubborn younger sibling phase, I probably always will be.

3.) Ed from FMAB

Short, hates milk, lil obnoxious.

4.) Rapunzel from Tangled

Ah my fav movie. I don’t completely relate to Rapunzel but I do feel like I connected to her so strongly for a reason. She’s artistic and just wants nothing more than to be free. I, now more than ever, have that desire to be free and have the ability to just live. Plus she gets her hair cut short! Oh she also has a mom that’s possessive over her hair, which I do too (obviously not the the same extent but still) 

5.) Nami from One Piece

Ah my beloved Nami. I def don’t relate to her entirely, I don’t have an obsession over money like she does, nor am I a con artist who had to sell her soul to the person who killed my mother only to be betrayed by him. But there are a lot of times I find myself watching the show, a character does something stupid, I’ll say something about it, and then literally a second later Nami will say the exact same thing! She’s smart and one of the most cautious members of the group. She has a lot of empathy for others, she cries and she screams in fear but she also stands her ground when it comes to her friends. I love that about her and I feel like if I was in that universe I would do a lot of the things she does. Oh, and we’re both redheads!! 

[sothischickshe]

I'm still stuck on this... I THINK the point of the last ep was supposed to be... Beth (and pals) desperately want rio to go away (understandable what with the death threats and rotten egg scrambling and being extorted for constant possibly free or at least low paid labour) but that Beth (and pals?) canNOT bring herself to try to handle this situation personally. (because... Of how she felt last time assumedly? Plus there was a strong ~fate vibe in the ep??) to the point that instead of Beth trying to shoot rio (he will meet her whenever wherever it seems!) she trains a sleep deprived grieving munchkin to do it (and not very well at that), which is like... Functionally insane??? There is no logical reason Beth couldn't take max's gun and have her own hands under the table, right? (I mean the whole plan was very very very very very very very very very stupid, but if you put that aside for a second.)

And to kind of show that beth is just... Going along with whatever crazy random happenstance comes along? Which has always been a huuuuuge part of her character, but I dunno if they're trying to push that she's just... Even more scrambled and panicky and bananas?

(and maybe some kind of light... Vengeance is justified? I can't decide if I think Beth (and pals) are entirely using max, or if it's more... Let's allow you to extract the revenge you want?)

I think the execution was pretty poor and scattered, but I'm hopeful we'll see these threads pushed and utilised more over the coming eps? Idk I've got high hopes for the next ep, every time I don't really like an ep the next one bangs! Fingers crossed

[serpentupemotions-blog]

Guilt - Reader x Sweet Pea 

(The gif isn’t mine, credit to the creator!)

This is based on the incredible request from @babbbiegirl : “Could you do another sweet pea × reader fan fic. Im not good at writing or anything but basically shes Archies baby sister and she sees the fight go down. She goes to the wyrm to apologize for her brothers actions and sees sweet pea and falls for him. Idk if thats good or not but it popped in my head.”

A/N: A couple things about this one. First, stuff that is in italics is dialogue directly from the show, I didn’t write that myself, those are quotes from Riverdale. Secondly, there will be a second part to this. Unfortunately, I have no freaking idea where I want to go with this. I have about six different starting points to a part two and I’ve been fretting over it for so long, so I decided to just put out part one since it’s done already. 

Word Count: 3,897

You had been doing your very best to ignore Veronica and Archie yelling in the living room downstairs. At least someone else was there to do it this time. Maybe a different voice yelling at him about his idiotic plans of taking out the Black Hood would get it through to him that he was just a teenager with a vendetta, not a detective with police training. But the knocking on the door was enough to draw your attention from your book. Crawling off your bed you press pause on your speaker, so you could listen to what was going on downstairs. Archie wasn’t the only one who was shaken up by the Black Hood, living in a constant state of fear. But he was the one completely unravelling at the seams.

The lack of commotion both comforts you and sets off warning signals in your brain. Probability versus possibility. The counsellor you had been seeing since this Black Hood stuff started told you to always consider what’s probable versus what’s possible when something was making you anxious. Probability says it was a friend or a neighbor coming by to say hi. Possibility says it was an intruder and they attacked so fast Archie and Veronica didn’t even have an opportunity to fight back. But sometimes the possible was so pressing there was no way you could just settle on believing the probable had happened.

You push open your bedroom door, carefully moving through the hallway to the top of the stairs. When you glance around the corner you feel the tension in your body dissipate at the sight of the football team piling in through the door. They weren’t an immediate threat. But you still didn’t want them here, they had done enough in helping your brother form his crazy Red Circle vigilante group.

“What are they doing here?” you ask Veronica as she shuts the door, glancing over her shoulder to watch you walk down the stairs.

Rolling her eyes, she glances into the living room where Archie had gone with the team, “no idea.”

“Great,” you mutter, turning around and ascending the staircase again. You would hear about it later. You just didn’t want to be involved in it. At least if you weren’t involved you could plead ignorance.

Not long after you had settled back onto your bed with a novel, getting lost in a world full of other people with different problems to get your mind off of your own, you hear the sound of motorcycles. Not just a couple, the noise is loud enough to draw your mind out of a fantasy world and straight into a panicky reality. Tossing the book to the side you hurry to your window, watching a group of people parking their bikes in your driveway before heading towards your front door. Probability versus possibility might have been able to help your worries if you weren’t living in a town where the probable seemed barely possible and the possible was incredibly probable.

This time you had a reason to sneak through the hallway quietly, stopping at the top of the stairs and standing with your back pressed against the wall around the corner, listening intently.

“How stupid are you Northsiders? You really think you can come to my house, stick a gun in my face in front of my boys and there wouldn’t be any payback?” The voice is unfamiliar, and it sends waves of panic through your body like fire. Your legs feel shaky and your palms become clammy. Was he talking to Archie? Archie had been acting like an idiot lately, sure. But you couldn’t believe he had figured out how to get a gun and was using it to threaten people.

“You have crap timing, bro. Bulldogs eat Serpents for lunch,” Reggie’s voice is familiar to you and if you weren’t so terrified you may have rolled your eyes at how stupid he sounded. But his presence down there with Archie was oddly reassuring now. When had Archie gone to the Southside and threatened the Serpents with a gun? Sometimes you were sure your parents had mixed up your birthdates, that Archie had to have been the younger sibling. There was no way your older brother was dumb enough to be running around threatening gang members with firearms.

The conversation becomes a little more hushed and you try to make sense of what was happening without coming around the corner, exposing that you were there, that you were listening. It sounded like they were negotiating ground rules for a fight. Something about guns and knives, weapons. You wanted to run down there, yell at them that they were all being stupid. That everyone should just slow down and talk things through. But you couldn’t move, frozen with anxiety. You feel the nausea building in your stomach, pressure in your chest, your fingers were cold. You knew it was anxiety, knew it was a fight of flight reaction. You did neither though, you froze. Fight, flight, or freeze. Of the three, freeze had to be the most useless, to just let the threat get you without any defense.

The next thing you know you hear the door closing and it’s enough to break you from the spell of immobility that the fear had put on you.

“Veronica,” you call, turning around the corner and running down the stairs. Archie wouldn’t have let her go anywhere he thought might be dangerous, wouldn’t let her get hurt. “Is this really happening?”

She turns to you when you practically fly down the stairs, your hand clutching the railing the whole way. “How much did you hear?” she asks, pacing the length of the living room, ringing her hands anxiously.

“All of it,” you admit, leaning against the pillar of the railing at the bottom of the stairs, not trusting your shaking legs to not give out at any second. “Did Archie really…?”

“Have a gun?” Veronica finishes your question before nodding hesitantly as if she’s not sure she should be telling you.

“Oh my god,” you mutter to yourself, sinking down and sitting on the stairs, running your hands over your face.

Veronica walks over and joins you, sitting next to you on the stairs. What feels like forever passes, the two of you sitting on the stairs. There was a silent acknowledgment between you two, that you both knew what Archie was doing was stupid and dangerous. You both cared so much about him, didn’t want him to get hurt because he felt like he needed to put his life in danger to make up for your dad getting shot.

“I have to do something.” Veronica suddenly stands up and walks towards the door. You watch in shock as she pulls her jacket on.

“You can’t,” you tell her, shaking your head. What did she think she was going to do? Single-handedly take out a group of Southside Serpents?

“Yes, I can. I have to.” She opens her purse and slowly pulls a gun out, your eyes widening in fear.

“Have you all lost your minds?” You pull yourself up off the stairs, still using the railing for support. “Where did you even get that? Why do you have it?”

“It’s Archie’s,” she tells you, hand already on the front door handle.

“That doesn’t make it better, what are you going to do with that?”

“I’m not going to shoot anyone, Y/N, calm down. Just stay here, okay?”

You reluctantly nod in response, sitting back on the stairs as she takes off into the stormy night. Sitting in the house all alone you suddenly felt so small, so unable to do anything. You hated it, hated feeling so insignificant. Archie was out risking his life because of his—admittedly misguided—attempts at helping the people he cared about. You wished you could be like that, so selflessly caring for the people you loved. Only, a version that wasn’t putting many people’s lives at risk in the process.

The sound of a gun firing makes you fly from where you were sitting, no longer feeling the need to hold onto the railing. Your body was now filled with adrenaline, raging through your veins and turning you into that person who you were wishing you could be only moments before. When all you can think about it the possibility that someone you cared about might be bleeding out in the streets the fear that made you freeze moments before had now vanished.

You place your hand on the door handle of the front door just moments before it’s shoved open, making you stumble backwards. Archie steps through the door, soaking wet, hand clutching his torso in pain but otherwise seemingly fine.

“Everyone is going to be fine,” Veronica assures you, reading the terror in your face clearly.

Within seconds your concern is transformed into anger, realizing that Archie was nothing more than a little bruised. “What the fuck? I can’t fucking believe you, Archie. You’re such a fucking idiot, when did you get a gun? Why did you think that was a good fucking idea?” your words were shocking even to yourself. You were normally fairly quiet, rarely swore, people perceived you as sweet and innocent. But anyone hearing you for the first time now would never believe any of that.

Archie is stunned, staring at you blankly. “I’m going to take him upstairs, Y/N,” Veronica says protectively. She was still in concerned mode, wanting to care for him. You wanted to take a swing at him yourself, for putting himself in danger the way he had, for bringing a gun into the house, for threatening to kill someone. But you weren’t a fighter, you ran, or you froze or sometimes, when you were feeling brave, you tried to talk things out.

You nod and wait until they had disappeared up the stairs before turning to the closet in the hallway, yanking your rain jacket free from its hanger and pulling on a pair of shoes. Now was your chance, to selflessly protect your brother. You needed to use the bravery your adrenaline had afforded you to apologize for your stupid brother and hope the Serpents might leave him alone. It was a long shot, but you couldn’t sit around and do nothing anymore.

The walk to the only place you knew to find Serpents was longer than you had expected, especially with the rain pouring down on you in heavy sheets. But eventually you find yourself standing in front of the Whyte Wyrm, eyes wide in fear, legs frozen once again. You couldn’t let it do this to you, the fear. You couldn’t let it stop you again. So, you muster every ounce of courage left in your trembling body and march up to the door with a fake confidence, pushing it open and stepping inside before you could stop again.

Swallowing hard you realize the Wyrm was not as busy as you had anticipated, and it seemed almost everyone in the bar was now staring at you. Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed the door open with quite as much fake courage, but at least this meant you didn’t have to ask for attention.

“What are you doing here?” a man calls from where he was sitting a few feet away from you at the bar, a half-empty beer sitting in front of him. He was eyeing you up suspiciously before rising from his seat. There was nothing about you that fit into this bar, you screamed outsider and that was clearly putting this man on edge. “Get out,” he commands.  

“I just-,”

“I said, get out,” he barks. Every last bit of confidence you had disappears as you jump at the sound of his loud, deep voice, recoiling till your back hits the door.

“I’m sorry,” you squeak out, “I just wanted to come and say I’m sorry for what my brother did,” you add, your hand already on the door, ready to flee.

“Are you Archie Andrews’ sister?”

The voice is familiar to you this time, not a reassuring familiarity, but familiar, nonetheless. Forcing yourself to look in the direction of the sound your eyes meet those of a tall teenager, hair wet with rain and a dark bruise forming around his left eye. All you can manage to do is nod.

“He know you’re here?”

This time you shake your head, immediately wishing you hadn’t done that. Of course, you should have said yes. Like how you never tell someone you don’t know that you’re home alone, it makes you vulnerable.

“You should go,” the guy tells you and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion. He wasn’t going to get mad at you? Yell or lash out? You had prepared yourself for the worst, expecting that perhaps you would be leaving with a black eye of your own.

“I really am sorry, for what he did,” you tell him, turning towards the door and opening it a bit, the sound of rain pouring on the concrete filling your ears.

“You walked all the way here just to say that?”

Turning back around the door falls shut behind you. “I guess so,” you shrug.

“Why?” His stare feels piercing and you wished he would look away from you, the intensity making you incredibly nervous.  

“Because what my brother did was wrong,” you tell him, nervously yanking on your sleeves to cover your freezing, rain dampened hand. “Unless you did shoot my dad, which I’m pretty sure you didn’t, he shouldn’t have threatened you, especially not with a gun. He’s not handling what happened to our dad well, but that’s not an excuse. This never should have happened.” You gesture towards his eye, surrounded by a painful looking bruise, “you shouldn’t have gotten hurt.”

He eventually looks away from you, seeming to process what you had said. But the lack of attention from him only makes you realize that the rest of the bar was still watching you closely, including the man who had yelled at you to leave.

“I’m gonna go,” you mutter, turning to look back at the boy with the bruised eye. “I’m sorry, I hope that heals quickly.”

When you’re back outside you feel warmth on your cold cheeks, tears rolling down from your eyes. You knew that this was beyond messed up and it felt like everything was just catching up to you now. You didn’t know what more you could do. You had forced your apologies onto a group of people who didn’t look like they wanted it.  The walk back to your house feels surprisingly short. It seemed like you didn’t have enough time to think, to try and figure out what you were going to do from here.

“Jughead, hey,” you say into your phone, standing in front of Southside High the very next day.

“Hey, Y/N. What’s going on?” Jughead questions and you can make out the sounds of a high school hallway through the phone, chatter, laughter, slamming lockers.

“I’m at your school.” Growing up as Archie’s younger sister you had also hung out with Jughead a lot, him being around the house so much it was inevitable. Even when Archie was going through the typical ‘I’m too cool for my younger sister’ phase, Jughead was always still nice, always still willing to talk to you. It’s not like you were much younger than him or Archie, less than a full year. Just enough to be in different grades.

“What? Why?”

“I’m not totally sure,” you admit. You had looked up the Southside schedule and got on a bus to get you there for lunch. “I want to talk to you about what happened last night,” you tell him, as an excuse for being there.

“Last night? You mean when Dilton was jumped?” there’s a pause before he continues, “where are you? I’m coming to meet you.”

“Dilton was what?” Probability says that Dilton was not jumped after also partaking in a fight last night. Possibility says this town was messed up enough that maybe that actually did happen. “Out front.”

“Dilton was jumped by a bunch of Serpents, stabbed in the leg or something, I didn’t get all the details. Sounds like he’s going to be fine though.”

“That doesn’t make sense-,” you hang up the phone when you see Jughead approaching. “That doesn’t make sense, Jug.”

“I don’t think you should be here,” Jughead says worriedly.

“Well I am, so whatever,” you state. “Are you friends with any of the Serpents?”

“Acquaintances might be more fitting. Why are you here? What’s going on?”

“Can you just show me around or something?” you ask, glancing around the parking lot. You couldn’t believe you had gone this far out of your way in hopes of seeing the guy from the bar again. You had managed to convince yourself it was to check on him. As if a black eye could suddenly get so much worse overnight.  

“Thinking of transferring?” Jughead jokes before reluctantly agreeing to show you around. The tour is short, the school rather unexciting and severely lacking in a certain tall, injured boy you had wanted to see so badly. Eventually Jughead pushes a door open, letting you step outside ahead of him. “So, you know I’m in a relationship, right? This older brother’s best friend thing is cute, but it’s not going to happen,” Jughead teases.

“Shut up,” you laugh, shoving him. “I would never want to date you.”

“Way to bruise a guy’s ego. But I’m just going to believe you have a crush on me until you tell me why you’re here,” Jughead says with a chuckle.

“Like I said, to talk about last night,” you lie, walking out of the school beside him. “Wait,” you comment, placing your arm in front of Jughead to stop him from going any further. Your eyes were locked on the picnic table across the outdoor yard, the now familiar guy was leaning over it with a friend, looking down at some papers. “Do you know him?”

“Who?” Jughead asks in confusion, scanning the yard.

“Him,” you nod towards the table and Jughead follows your stare.

“Fangs or Sweet Pea? Yeah, I know them,” Jughead tells you and continues walking towards the table. “Why?”

You hesitate, “well last night-,”

“No!” Jughead suddenly grabs your arm and turns you to face him, “please don’t tell me you slept with one of them, Y/N,” his voice is hushed as he stares down at you, and thankfully so, since you two would be close enough for them to hear you talking at a regular volume, if they were paying attention.

“What?” you exclaim, “no, after the fight.”

“What fight?”

“He doesn’t know about it,” the familiar voice calls and you look over before glancing back at Jughead.

“What don’t I know? That Dilton Doiley said he was stabbed and that a bunch of you guys jumped him?” Jughead asks, walking up to the picnic table with you trailing along behind him.  

“The idiot stabbed himself with his own knife,” the shorter guy chimes in, but you can barely peel your eyes off the taller one.

“And we didn’t jump him. There was a fight. Bulldogs versus Serpents. And you see this?” his voice is very evidently angry. You watch him gesture towards his eye, which did look much worse than it had the night before. “Your boy Andrews gave it to me just before his girlfriend shot a gun into the air.”

You zone out a little when you hear him say that is was Archie who gave him the black eye. All of it on the grand scheme was caused by Archie, the whole fight. But knowing he was actually the one who gave him the black eye, that made it so much worse.

You feel his eyes on you and you have an overwhelming desire to say something, do something, anything to make him like you. You could feel the residual hate for Archie rubbing off on you and you wanted to distance yourself from Archie.

“Come on,” he mutters to the guy beside him, nudging his arm before turning and starting to walk away.

“Wait,” you barely croak out and to your surprise he seemed to hear you, glancing back over his shoulder at you.

“What?” he asks, not angrily, but not gently either.

You shake your head, not knowing what to say to him. Because, ‘I just don’t want you to go’ was not an adequate answer. “I didn’t know Archie was the one who hit you,” you comment, taking a couple steps towards him.

“Y/N,” Jughead’s voice is low from behind you, warning you not to get involved. He didn’t realize you already had done just that.  

“You don’t have to apologize for him again, he’s old enough to pick his fights, he’s old enough to apologize for them if he feels sorry.”

You glance back at Jughead who’s watching you with curiosity and concern. The boy with the black eye follows your lapse in attention, noticing Jughead’s staring as well.

“I know I don’t have to apologize for him,” you say, looking up at him nervously. Him simply staring at you was enough to make your heart race with nerves. “I know he won’t say it, he won’t say sorry to you, I don’t think he ever will. Archie’s too proud too apologize. But that doesn’t mean I can’t say sorry. I should have realized sooner how far Archie had spiraled, I should have done something to stop him, before everything got so bad.”

He shoves his hands into his pockets, glancing over at his friend and leaving you staring at him in silence. “Look, nothing that has happened is your fault. Don’t take the blame for this. Your brother may be out of control, but you went through the exact same shit as he did and you’re not running around waving guns at people. You don’t have anything to apologize for so just let this go, let your brother feel guilty about this, not you,” he leans closer to you as he talks, like he doesn’t want anyone else to hear what he’s saying. His words are rushed, reassuring in meaning, casual tone. “See you around, Northsider,” he comments, his eyes lingering a moment longer before turning around and continuing away with his friend.

After watching him leave you return to Jughead, spending a fair amount of time convincing him that everything was fine and normal. You manage to get away without admitting you had gone to the Wyrm the night before.

“Well I should go then, the bus leaves in ten minutes.” You begin to turn around before suddenly turning back to Jughead. “What, um, what was his name?”

Jughead looks at you curiously, realizing what you were asking but not knowing why exactly. “Sweet Pea.”

You simply nod in response, turning around and leaving this time. Sweet Pea. You look down at the ground as you walk, a smile plastered on your lips. This was dangerous. Even being on the Southside after what went down the night before held a certain level of physical threat. But it wasn’t that kind of danger you were worried about. It was the emotional mess you were getting yourself in that worried you.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If anyone reads this and wants to discuss what I should do for part two please message me, I’m in desperate need of opinions about it. 

Tags: @gruffle1 @sweetpeasbabydoll

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

22/f

I’m sorry if this starts making less sense as I type more, I’m just trying to describe somethings that I’ve never exactly addressed before? So I’ve felt it and experienced it but never exactly tried to put it in words before.

So basically, I feel like I have a tendency to become emotionally dependent on people I date. I have pretty bad anxiety issues, that I’m working on slowly. Sometimes this leads to depressing days. Well in terms of emotional dependency, with my boyfriend, we haven’t discussed what to do once we graduate next year, because there is still a lot of time left and what can we discuss when we don’t know what is going to happen with ourselves once we graduate, we probably need to figure out our own future before we discuss one together. But we are very happy together. But I feel like it’s starting to feel like a ticking clock. It’s terrifying. And what makes sense is to talk about it when the time is right, and just be in the moment and be together right now. But the problem since, like an idiot, I thought about it so much, I keep thinking we don’t have enough time left together and we need to spend more time together. Because the thought of breaking up scares me so much! And I’m trying to spend more and more time together and trying to force it more, unlike earlier when it just happened naturally. And since I’m forcing it and doing it because of the fear of things ending, it was always at the back of my mind, those times that we spent together just weren’t nice and would get messy and just end up sad or fighting. Until one day he finally told me to calm down and stop thinking so much into it, we’ll figure it out when the time comes.

Second thing, with the quarantine, we’ve both gone home and are obviously in a long distance now. It’s going okay. We did long distance last summer and it wasn’t easy but we were really good together. But this time it’s different. Our uni exams are postponed and online classes are over so essentially our summer break has started. Except it’s still a quarantine. And I won’t say we are very good this time. I feel myself getting more and more need and annoying(my words, he does not let me talk bad about myself, which is a little too frequent), but I need to say how I feel. Obviously the pandemic majorly worked up my anxieties, but work through that. But now I’ll be honest, I’ve developed this strange obsessive behavior that I want to talk to him all the time! And at this point, we’re both just at home so there isn’t as much happening. So there isn’t much to say. And I think I hate that. And it’s not like we don’t speak at all, just not as much as last summer. And I hate that I’m comparing SO much! At this point I’m just fantasizing the past. We talk. And our conversations aren’t dull. They’re just not constant. And when we text, sometimes the conversation ends, which it never did last summer. And unlike me, he’s keeping himself busy because he’s not finding it easy to deal with the quarantine mentally either plus he has own things to deal with in terms of family, and he does talk about it but he finds keeping himself busy helps. Which I’m more than understand but it causes him to reply late. And he’s ALWAYS assured me that unless he’s busy or the phone is away, he will always reply as soon as he sees the message, and I know he does. Now he’s majoring in game design and I’m majoring in animation. So even thought, our year is over, we still need to keep working and practicing. And I know that I need keep my peace of mind and just keep myself busy too, and there’s plenty of things I need to do. Instead, I choose to sit and sulk and overthink that he has replied to my text for the past 1 hour! And then I get mad and we’ve spoken about this at least 3 times since quarantine started and each time he’s made an effort from his side. But why am I still so needy?! I understand everything. I understand his side, I understand the current situation. But despite understanding, it doesn’t change the way I feel! And I just choose to agonize over whatever I’m overthinking about. I just keep making a mountain of a mole hill. I just want to stop feeling this way. I don’t want to sit around waiting for a text like I used to in high school! I have things to do and I want to do them so badly but why am I like this? Please, PLEASE tell me how to stop overthinking nothing. I’m not being hard on myself, I’m just desperate not overthink every single situation. Why am I so obsessed with him now?I can’t tell you how anxious this is making me.  I just want to stop being so scared all the time.

After high school, I took a gap year and got into this horrible emotionally abusive relationship. He was gaslighting me the whole time, made me cut ties with friends, made me constantly feel shitty about myself. Always told me I was dumb and stupid, without fail. And also was always talking to other girls openly, was obviously cheating on me. But when I would confront him, he’d accuse me of not trusting him and that I was stupid. And the strange thing is I knew that I was the one who right, yet I chose to believe him and stay with him? He was very manipulative. Idk how to explain what I was like back then and why. But I’m out of that now and I’m in a good place now. I just feel he is a big influence in the way I am today. And I hate that.

In a few days it’ll be my first anniversary with this wonderful guy. I love him very much and I’m SO happy that I met him. But I don’t want to be emotionally dependent on him. I want to be fine on my own too. And I was for a long time. It’s not like I rushed into this relationship after my previous one, I didn’t even meet him till 2.5 years after. But I don’t want this emotional dependency. I feel like I’m so scared of losing him that I keep making up scenarios which makes me feel like I’ve already lost him. And in general, overthinking and being dependent makes me feel shitty. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone for anything! In high school, I used to dream about becoming the strong independent woman. I thought by now, I would have become one..but clearly not. Maybe for my previous relationship, I can say that my ex really prevented any chance of me becoming one. But in this one, he really pushes me to be better and encourages me to become one! Just because I’m in a relationship, doesn’t mean I have to lose my ability to be fine on my own. This quarantine is a good time for me to work on being by myself. I want to work on myself, mentally. But I don’t know how?

hey there <3 this makes a lot of sense, I think you’ve articulated yourself really well. I would agree with you, it sounds like your previous relationship is playing a big role in your current concerns around identity and anxiety. just something to note though, there is a difference between emotional dependence and emotional closeness. emotional closeness is good and healthy, it’s something you want in a relationship. being emotionally close with each other involves trust and authenticity and communication -- there’s nothing wrong with being emotionally close to someone. emotional dependence can definitely be a problem though (more detail here on what can define it), and I would agree that that’s what you’re experiencing at the moment.

it’s hard not to make comparisons sometimes, especially when what you’re comparing against (ie. last summer) was so happy and positive and good! but I think a contributing factor of that was the “honeymoon” phase of your relationship? and now that you’ve been together almost a yr, the honeymoon phase has ended, and that’s ok. it’s ok if sometimes the conversation just ends now, it’s alright if you sometimes have disagreements or whatever. it’s not that things aren’t as ‘good’ as last summer? just that you’re becoming more comfortable with each other, your love is more stable and habitual (for lack of a better word), 

I think this quarantine is testing you in a profound way, and I think you’re dealing with things pretty alright :* being forced to be in a long-distance relationship isn’t easy at all, being forced to face your anxieties and insecurities is confronting, the covid-19 pandemic is magnifying issues and isn’t helping at all but even though you’re struggling? you’re not completely falling apart, you’re looking for answers and a way through this. 

having read everything that you’re going through at the moment, it feels like a lot of the anxiety is rooted in fear of the future? and I guess a major aspect of anxiety is the unknown! next yr and after graduation is unknown for you, but it can help to start making plans. if you start to make plans then it can clarify things for you, and give you a goal to work towards too. there’s less uncertainty, there’s less to get anxious over because you know what’s ahead and how to prepare for it. the sooner you do it, the better it will be! but the longer you leave things, the less time you have to sort things out and the more your anxiety rises.

you’ve recognised that you’ve developed a bad habit fo obsessively wanting to talk to him all the time? so work on breaking that habit. I’m currently not working or studying at the moment, and I’m finding it so difficult to find the motivation to even get out of bed sometimes! however, I’ve started to write a daily list of things to get done? and it really helps to motivate me and to keep me accountable for getting shit done. so that could be something to try doing: write yourself a (reasonable) list of things to get done each day, tick them off as you get them done. doing that can help keep you busy and possibly avoid spending time over-thinking him not replying super quick.

when anxious thoughts start to take over, when you start to feel really on edge and panicky over him not replying? stop whatever you’re doing, breathe. do some focused breathing exercises (here and here) — deep breathing works to slow down your heart rate, decreases blood pressure, allows more oxygen into the brain so you can think more clearly, and also gives you something else to focus on as well.

sometimes knowing the logic of a situation doesn’t always change feelings ): all you can do is choose to make conscious decisions and actions to fight against the anxious feelings. write down a plan of action, a list of things to do to combat the anxiety. when you start to feel anxious and you feel yourself overthinking something? go back to your daily to-do list and find something on there to complete, or maybe go for a run (or some other kind of intensive exercise), call a friend, find a new recipe and bake something yummy in the kitchen, anything that takes your full concentration and attention.

some ideas on how to work on yourself / improve emotional independence:

keep busy, create daily to-do lists to keep yourself motivated and accountable, use affirmations to fight against anxious thought patterns (see here for examples). 

know that there’s a difference between emotional dependence and emotional closeness — it’s ok, healthy and good to have the latter. you can still be independent while being emotionally close with others, the two can coexist.

something else to try, spend 1 entire day without technology. turn off your phone, laptop, tv etc, spend the entire day focusing on you :) that way you have control over the temporary time apart from your boyfriend, and when you’re in control? you feel more empowered, and less anxiety. talk to your boyfriend before you do this haha, and explain why you’re doing it (ie. to work on building emotional resilience and overcoming anxiety), I’m sure he’ll understand and support you.

practise lots of self care, indulge a lot in things that genuinely make you feel happy and warm and positive :) maybe that’s having an extra long bath with epsom salts and essential oils, maybe it’s giving yourself a face mask and painting your nails, maybe it’s practising yoga or meditation, or solo sexy time, or baking, gardening, playing games? whatever works for you! the more time you spend doing solo activities that you find gives you pleasure, the more your brain starts to associate spending time alone with a positive feeling. 

this is such a long reply, apologies if it’s a little rambling at times! but I hope this helps you lovely, let me know how you get on <3

- tash

[queenoflit97]

DCU Titans: Scrapped s1 finale/s2

The reason this finale was scrapped and no longer canon is because it would have ruined alot of character development and would've possibly ruined the future of the Doom Patrol series. The Doom Patrol were featured in the og finale as a way to connect the two series universes together. However with this og finale the writers realized that they would've ended up making things way more confusing on both sides. I know it looks really cool and we all feel robbed, but let's look at it like this. Alot of us like to point out that certain things in the show feel rushed right? Well if this finale was kept, both Nightwing and Raven would've been rushed. Idk about you guys but watching Dick's development in s1 didn't seem like it was building up to him becoming Nightwing, but building up to him letting Robin go. So it would've made no sense for him to just all of a sudden get the Nightwing suit in the s1 finale.

As for Rachel becoming Raven, I feel like s1 was building up for her to find out about her demon heritage and where her powers came from (since in this version she wasn't raised by monks in azarath). And she wasn't nearly as powerful in s1 as she is in s2 (albeit in an out of control fashion). She got that power boost from her heart turned gem that her father gave her. And yes, while Trigon's defeat (I don't think he's dead, that would be even stupider than permanently killing Desthstroke) was fast and some of us felt like Rachel seemingly had control over her powers, I don't actually think she did. I feel like in that moment with her father, she wasn't afraid and because of that was able to just let it all out, in turn defeating him for now. If we look back at the original character of Raven she struggled with two things: Anger and Fear. Anger is her weakness and Fear is her downfall. In s1 Rachel showed a mix of both Anger and Fear. However when she was afraid, she would get anxious and panicky making it difficult for her to use her powers effectively. My point is, when she went up against her father, she let go of her fear thus being able to use her powers the way she did.

I won't say s2 was fantastic, but I did enjoy most of it. The casting was fantastic for Rose, Jericho, Deathstroke, Aqualad, and Superboy. Personally I enjoyed some of Rachel's development this season, despite it being confusing at times, some of it left me intrigued. I think the Judas Contract storyline works better with Rose rather than introducing Terra (mostly bc I don't wanna see Gar get his heart broken). Speaking of Gar, he definitely deserved/deserves more screentime and at least some sort of exploration of his powers. Of course the writers had to tease us about his potential with the whole cadmus thing and still have him only turn into a tiger by the end of the season. Although I feel like that was a legitimate tease for the potential of Gar's powers and becoming Beast Boy in the future (hopefully in s3 🤞🏻🐍🐢🐊). The rest of the character's screentime varied depending on the focus of the episode. Dick has the most (obviously), Hank and Dawn second most (why tho? cool characters, but we know everything about them so them having more screentime makes no sense), Donna has a fair bit (I actually liked her character for the most part, but....we'll get to that later), Conner/Superboy decent amount (didn't mind this one, he's a precious bean), Jason had a quite a bit (enjoyed his development and Curran's acting was 🔥), Rose's was woven through and increased after the Deathstroke revelation (didn't mind this one either), Deathstroke was in the shadows half the time, Jericho was a flashback (a damn good flashback) and last but certainly not least Kory was at the bottom with Gar. We got a few things here and there, but it wasn't enough in my opinion. Hopefully with s3 being her season we will see alot more of her (and some dickkory stuff too plz).

The s2 finale had it's fair share of problems (Deathstroke and Donna's death), but I think it could've been fixed. Let me explain: The most aggravating thing about this finale was how Donna died and the fact that it held no weight and I agree. The last half fell flat because of it. I think if the Deathstroke thing and the Cadmus thing were intertwined it would've been less disappointing. Imagine this: After Dick and Rose show up everyone gets out of the car to help fend off Deathstroke. Rose still stabs Deathstroke to free Jericho, albeit in a less life threatening area, but still enough to allow Jericho to leave and make the Titans think he's down for the count. You have Jericho talk to Dick, Dawn, and Donna. Then when they look back to check on Deathstroke, he's gone. But before everyone can freak, Dick tells them not to worry about it now because Gar and Conner need their help and they leave for the carnival. They bring Gar and Conner back, Bruce shuts down the bidding, Kory knocks out Mercy and everyone thanks the Titans. Now the giant metal pole still falls and Donna still catches it, however Dawn and some of the civilians (the little girl, her mother and some others) are in actual danger of being harmed by it. The electricity we saw surround Donna as she's holding it up, they're trapped by that unable to move out of the way. Now the electricity doesn't kill her, but a gunshot. As we're wondering where it came from, everything is in slow motion. Connor runs over and grabs the electrified pole and throws it elsewhere as Dick runs over and catches Donna in his arms. Dick looks off to the side for a moment and sees Deathstroke in the distance before he disappears. Everyone else gathers around Dick and Dawn who are softly crying over Donna's body in shock. After that, everything else happens the same and instead of being flat it's emotional, heartfelt and meaningful. As for the whole Rachel going to Themyscira thing, I think its interesting and I feel like it might tie into her learning to control herself and her powers. Maybe they might have Rachel figure out how to open a portal which could lead to Azarath....and I'm getting way to ahead of myself, but you get what I mean.

Conclusion? The series as a whole isn't inherently terrible, but an interesting and unique take on this superhero team that, while at times being confusing and bumpy, can still be enjoyable. However there are those who trash the show and feel negatively towards it. And while it's okay to not like something, it is not okay to be excessively rude or mean to those who like the show or the cast in any way. When you enjoy something, whether you're a fan or the person(s) creating it, it's not fun seeing the negative and sometimes insensitive things said about it. Not everyone who dislikes the show is the same. There's a majority who are actually pretty tame about it. But I have seen many that almost cross a line and that's not okay. The way I see it is, if you don't like something that much: Don't watch it. Don't read it. Don't talk about it. Just leave it alone.

That is all.

[girlgrouptrash101]

Dreamcatcher Reaction to Having to A Share A Room with Their Crush During A Reality Show

Request: “Can I request a dreamcatcher reaction to them being in a reality show with the reader & having to sleep in the reader's (girl) room because there were no other rooms in the dorm”

A/N: I had no idea how to title this so i put crush in there because i’m assuming that’s what you were going for i could be wrong idk oh well

- C

Jiu:

She used music to get close to you. Seeing as you were both idols she related to you a lot, and you talked a lot about it. She also loved to show you new songs, and listen to music you liked too. You guys would end up talking about everything and nothing at the same time, and by the end of the show, you would fall asleep beside each other every night, sharing a pair of headphones with some random song you both liked playing.

Sua:

She tried not to be shy, she knew that this would be a wasted opportunity if she didn’t try her best to get closer to you. So, she asked you a lot about your family and your goals and aspirations, and the whole thing just made her fall for you even more. Little did she know, you were falling for her in this time too. To Sua’s delight, you confessed first, and she felt like the luckiest girl in the world because she got the chance to take you on a date!

Siyeon:

Flustered panicky mode: activated. She would usually be so confident and cool around most people, but there was something about you that just had her a stuttering mess, and for some reason, she loved it. You ended up falling for her too, maybe it was the cute way she tucked her hair behind her ear, or how shy she got when she talked to you. You didn’t know what it was, but you didn’t mind at all.

Handong:

She would be really shy about the whole ordeal. Although she was now confident in her Korean skills, you made her nervous and she didn’t want to make a stupid mistake around you, so she didn’t talk to you too much. Unfortunately, you thought she didn’t like you because of that, so you approached her one night and asked. This ended up in her confessing to you, and then it bloomed into a cute and wholesome relationship (yayyy)

Yoohyeon:

Yoohyeon would love staying in your room, she would ask you about all your belongings and pictures, finding out about what you liked, your friends, your family. She used it as an opportunity for you to get to know each other properly and so she could try and win you over the way she wanted to, without her members embarrassing her or teasing her. The show might end with her asking you out if it goes well for her.

Dami.

Dami just manages to be cool as hell in all situations, this one is no exception. She would be pretty smug about sharing a room with you, it gave her time to have you all to herself. I could see her actually being super flirty and taking you by surprise, but not because you didn’t like it. She would make s move pretty quickly, and you guys ended up becoming really close, especially when the cameras were turned off and you could be yourselves.

Gahyeon:

Gahyeon would just be a happy little squish at all times. She was happy to be doing a show with her members and your group, and this was just an added bonus! She wasn’t nervous at all, she knew that she just wanted to be herself around you, because you started liking her when she acted like someone else, she would never forgive herself. So she would just overall be really fun and would make it her mission for you to always have a smile on your face.

[jess-rewatches-sga]

Season 1: Episode 11 (The Eye)

NOTE: Spoilers ahead.

The second part of “The Storm” story arc.

My thoughts (there are a lot of them):

1:07 - John screaming in the rain is both heartbreaking and very attractive. 

1:20 - Awwww Rodney protecting Elizabeth is honestly so sweet. <3 Rodney is so much braver than people give him credit for. 

2:34 - “I am. Going. To Kill. You.” - John Sheppard is my hero. 

4:33 - What is with the Genii and their obsession with Sheppard? I mean, I love him too but just leave him alone!! 

5:07 - OMG. Carson - don’t touch the controls. Carson is so channeling Rodney’s panicky tendency in this scene. 

7:00 - John - don’t die. Don’t let them kill you!

7:30 - “He can probably hear you’re stupid questions!” hahaha I love this line so much.

8:29 - I’m so anxious. I know how this episode ends and I’m still so scared for Rodney, John, and Elizabeth. 

9:29 - “I’m a bloody medical doctor, not a magician!!!” OMG. Carson is channeling McCoy here!! haha <3

10:29 - I’m not a fan of Ladon but he’s kinda hot? 

11:20 - Aww Elizabeth is scared. :( 

12:28 - hahaha Rodney’s “danger” sign is hilarious!! 

12:58 - Wow. Those Genii found flashlights awfully quickly! hahaha the magic of fiction. 

14:15 - Can Kolya not overhear Rodney and Elizabeth’s conversation? Is he deaf?!? 

16:08 - The Jumper bay is pretty! 

16:23 - Oh dang. I forgot about those Athosian hunters in the back of the Jumper! 

16:54 - Carson looks terrified! Haha poor guy! <3

18:00 - Sheppard for the win!! 

19:08 - I was really scared that Kolya was going to throw Rodney into the ocean there!! 

21:19 - John, baby, I love you and you are a total badass but please stop taunting Kolya. He might hurt Weir and McKay.

22:00 - The absolute relief in John’s voice when he realizes Elizabeth is alive is heartwarming. 

22:30 - That is some good waterproofing on that radio. 

24:35 - Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no. Don’t hurt Sheppard you stupid Genii!!!!!!

25:20 - Ford is really annoying in this episode. I’m with Carson on this one.

26:00 - Yes, always listen to Teyla. She’s the mom of this crew and she always knows best. 

27:05 - Yay! Carson, Teyla, and Ford saved Sheppard!!! :) :) :)

27:45 - OMG. Sora is such a psychopath. 

29:43 - “A Rodney McKay kind of plan.” John - you love Rodney’s plans and you know it. 

31:00 - “No. He’d kill them to punish me.” - John. I agree with this sentiment. For some reason Kolya instantly hates Sheppard. 

32:17 - Aww poor Carson is in wayyy over his head in this episode.

32:35 - Ugh. Sora is so crazy. I’m so done with her. 

33:35 - Idk. I feel like this knife fight between Sora and Teyla is sort of stupid. I wish it didn’t exist. Actually, I wish Sora’s character didn’t exist. 

34:24 - haha never say Rodney isn’t self-aware! haha

35:20 - Seriously though. What is this knife fight doing for the plot?!?

37:00 - John Sheppard is an action hero. Such a great moment. 

38:27 - Teyla is a good woman. So pure.

38:48 - Ok. So this whole “using the lightning to power the shield thing” is cool but how the hell to the corridors not get damaged by the lightning?!? 

40:07 - Rodney is so precious! <3

40:30 - John wanting time off is precious! <3 haha

I LOVE this story arc. Seriously. So good. 

[magical-agatha]

vent. dont reblog.

how do i deal with my own mind trying to destroy itself. i feel like theres this malicious intent thats taking over my own brain and turning it against me. against itself. it hurts. im tired. ive been drowning it out with audiobooks. but i keep getting worse.

it feels like. the bit of my brain that deals with threat detection is way beyond overactive. it feels like its confused. like antivirus software that thinks the whole OS is a virus andis trying to delete it. like my own brain is trying to kill me. if im alone with my thoughts it just floods me with painful memories and worse. if i have a bad day it spirals bc it attacks me and makes it worse and i cant handle it anymore. im barely surviving as it is and every time i get hurt it digs its claws in and makes it worse. i cant always fight it. and its getting so much harder to survive. im losing so much recovery progress bc i cant keep up with it. im panicky and flighty and apologising compulsively. i keep apologising for existing. apologising for having an opinion. apologising for asking my girlfriend for some small comfort. and theres so much else. im so confused. social stuff is frying my brain even more. i feel unimportant in that special passive acidic way. like my friends dont want me. or that they dont care about anything i talk about. it feels like when i try to talk about something im interested in or ive been doing they dont care. they dont engage. or they interupt me and talk about something they like. i try really hard to be kind and polite and to engage with whats important to them. but i feel like i rarely get that back. its not all the time. but enough to wear me down. idk.

the cruel and impossible part is i cant trust my own judgement. am i misremembering? misinterpreting? midunderstanding? expecting something unreasonable? expecting too much? trying too hard? i dont know! i dont know anything. but it hurts. so im hurt but confused and i cant even know if what im feeling is real or fair or reasonable. i feel stupid. it hurts. i keep getting the urge to run away. ppl dont notice if you arent okay. maybe they notice but they dont say or do anything. they feel bad but they dont know what to do so they do nothing as you cry. or maybe you cant say it. so you stew inside and hurt. then you run away. bc you want them to notice. cuz surely theyll notice if you leave. surely theyll chase after you. but they dont. they think you want space. or you hurt them by leaving. maybe they just dont care. then you hurt more bc ur alone. whatever it was like being with friends, being alone hurts worse. you ache inside for people to be with. ppl to talk to. ppl to like you. ppl to whom you matter. ppl who would care if you left. ppl who would chase after you. so you go back or you find new friends. and it starts over. eventually you give up. you try to at least. but you cant. so you just get hurt again.

this isnt about anyone specifically, its bits and pieces of lots of different experiences mixed together. its just me being angry at this pattern and hating myself for hurting and not understanding or knowing what to do or expect or think. this is venting. im hurting and im confused and im stuck. it doesnt matter. i dont matter. forget about me.

i wish i was the kind of person who was self sufficient. who didnt need other ppl. besides maybe a partner. i wish i could be alone without it hurting me. bc if i could that would save me so much hurting. im too fragile to function. too broken. im like a paper doll. and i keep getting close to the fure for warmth. i cant help it. i cant be alone. it shouldnt hurt this much to be alive. its hard to believe it can get better. but i love my girlfriend and i cant leave her. i will keep living for her. no matter how much it hurts. as long as she loves me. ill keep trying to get better.

please dont get angry at me. my brain barely works. im in a lot of pain so cut me some slack.

[doux-amer]

Finally watched Infinity War today (I didn’t want to see it in a full house and I wanted to see it in a genuine IMAX theater because it was filmed entirely in IMAX so I had to wait). Spoilers ahead so if you don’t want to see them, scroll past this post!

SCROLL PAST. 

RIGHT NOW.

NOW.

So, I thought IW was really underwhelming and predictable. I assumed it would be generic and bloated based on the trailers so I was unexcited, but with the way people were so psyched by it, my expectations went up. I walked in, afraid of what would happen....and spent 99% of the time not feeling like I was on the edge of my seat at all. I predicted everything that was going to happen, which was severely disappointing. I can count maybe one or two things that I didn’t expect. And because of that and because the plot was so insubstantial (funnily enough, I thought its issue would be that it would be too unwieldy and bloated, not that it would be superficial and would feel as though it skimmed over everything), IW barely had any emotional impact on me, and at the very least, if that’s going to be the case, then at least have some juicy plot that I can sink my teeth into, you know? I know part of the reason why I’m so uninvested in most of these deaths is because this is a two-parter, but the other part is because the way the movie was set up meant that I could barely connect with most of the characters on a deep level especially when each of them were given like...two lines lol. 

Anyway, I’m tired of writing normally so here’s Part 1 (sorry, you know I talk at length about these things) featuring overall movie stuff, which basically consists of general criticism lol, with Part 2 about characters (not entirely critical):

Violence - I thought Loki’s grim death set the tone for the movie, but the violence was so subpar in this. I don’t want gratuitous violence, but this is THANOS. Where’s the bloodshed? Nothing felt visceral enough. Even his stupid tricks with the Reality Stone weren’t gruesome. Soap bubbles? Really? Even what happened to Mantis and Drax looked so dumb. This is the Mad Titan. COME ONNNN.

Dumb plot holes(?) - Okay, there were big questions that undermined the movie like.....if Thanos and the Black Order can locate the Stones, what kept them from going after the Stones earlier? How do they know the exact location of the Stones and how to track their movements? 

Location captions  - I still hate them. STOP WITH THESE OMFG. It’s so distracting, and we don’t need it if you’re good with dialogue and exposition.

Relationships - Too many undercooked relationships that were important (and too many that went to 100 realllll fast and in terms of romantic ones, it felt kind of dumb to show three pairings going “ILU” and kissing in a row lol), especially Gamora and Nebula’s with Thanos. I don’t blame the Russos and M&M for this though because it’s not like they could’ve spent 3/4 of the movie building their relationship up, and this REALLY should have been a thing that was explored in GotG1. I’ve been saying since that movie came out that it should’ve been Gamora’s story, not Quill’s. 

Dialogue - Almost no memorable dialogue and lots of corny one-liners instead which made it a struggle to feel for the characters had it not been for affection stemming from previous movies transferring over (and sometimes even that wasn’t enough). TOO MANY QUIPS especially for characters who aren't necessarily quippy and a movie that shouldn't be. I know the MCU's known for this, and I HATE it because everyone's humor code sounds and is the same and BP and IM1, the two most significant films in the MCU, show that you don't have to resort to it to make a movie fun while tacking a serious and/or heavy plot.

Timeline - This all happened way too fast. I don’t think Thanos should have gotten all of the Stones that quickly and easily especially since apparently this all happened within a day (or two?) which begs the question: what tf were Thanos and the Black Order doing all this time? If it’s that easy to get everything, why didn’t other people try? He just seems so overpowered that there doesn’t seem to be anything to this story besides the characters reacting and uh......that doesn’t make for a solid foundation for a story. You need characters being more active than reactive. And I feel like one day is just too quick and the Stones are too powerful that it really felt meh. 

Strategy - It’s hard to scramble together a strategy when things happen so quickly that you’re put on your back foot and all you can do is focus on surviving, but uh...aside from me yelling about how Tony is right and I feel vindicated, I was a little disappointed because Tony was preparing for this for six years so I thought that we’d see more of his plan even though lbr there’s no way he could’ve planned for the way that things went down. Some other stuff were stupid like going to Titan which I guess makes sense because 1) they wanted the fight away from Earth to minimize human casualties, 2) they didn't know the Guardians and Thor were out there or where they were, 3) I think the ship was set to Titan anyway, 4) they lost all contact with Earth, but...that’s kind of contrived and idk, couldn’t Strange contact someone on Earth? Or use portals? If not, I feel like we should have seen limits to his magic because it just seems ridiculous that none of them would think of that.

Set-up to Avengers 4 - Going back to the timeline thing, because everything happened too fast and at such a gigantic scale, everything lost its impact because the action was relentless and because you know there’s another film coming so this ended up feeling like a set-up to Avengers 4, the way that AoU felt like a filler movie there to plant some seeds for CW. Why should we care when we know we really need to care in A4? I guess we should worry about what things are reversible or not, but I was underwhelmed. Obviously this is unavoidable just because it’s a two-part saga, but at the same time there should be a few things that we really feel devastated and panicky about.

It’s just...you had ten years to work on this, six years of buildup from The Avengers, so much room to be inventive like never before, and a lot of comics to draw inspiration from, and.....this is it? That's it? That's all? Considering how it was so hyped up, I went from thinking it looked like a bland, generic mess in the trailer to hoping that I would be emotionally eviscerated and then being nervous over the past 24 hours that I would be, but nope. I WANTED TO BE A DESTROYED, MESSY WRECK AND I WASN'T. ://///