#As a person who gets really sensitive to noise when I'm stressed

[iamthecomet]

Woke up with a great idea for some Swiss/Dew nipple play. But my turtle has not stopped attempting to escape his tank since I woke up. It has been so many hours of constant scrabbling (and me getting up to give him a look like "hey get your hands off the top of your tank right now stop that") and I am now flirting with actual insanity. This is the reason I will never have children. So, uh, that Swiss/Dew nipple play idea might end up a little more insane than I originally planned. You're welcome.

[factual-fantasy]

23 asks! Thank you!! :}} 🐶

Guys, please read the FAQ in my pinned posed before sending asks, like the ask button says. You don't have to read them all- just a quick check to see if i have answered your question already and especially to see my stance on requests.

I'm not taking drawing requests at the moment. If I hit an art block and start taking requests, I'll make a post about it and update my pinned post.

Again, please just take a quick glance at the FAQ before sending in your asks. It saves both of us a lot of time. Thank you! <:)

Currently there isn't actually a plot line I'm following- its more of a "day in the life of the neighborhood" kind'a thing.

The main points of interest though is Wally's home being alive and it watches him sleep at night.. this causes Wally to have terrible sleeping problems and anxiety. But no one knows Home is the culprit..

Another point of interest is Julie secretly actually being a huge beast that is simply disguising herself as this pretty little harmless neighbor.. she truly is a nice person and loves her friends, but she has disguised herself to look this way so that people wouldn't be afraid of her. Only Frank knows what she really looks like..

And lastly, Eddie is a real human from our/another world. He was somehow brought here to the neighborhood.. he has no memory of his original life..

Oh wow!! :000 That blue one is so pretty.... 🥺💞💞

@imdonewiththisblogsblog

A BUTTERFLY WITH CLEAR WINGS?? THAT SOO PRETYYYY💞💞💞

@littlelightfish

AAA THANYIOU!! :DDDD

Octo is intended to kind'a have normal old man problems- he's kind'a far sighted, has a cranky back, gets tired easy, gets winded faster than he used to.. other than that and the natural aches and sores that came after his major injury- (that comic you're referencing) he's relatively ok! :00 (Those dizzy spells that I talked about come from when he overworks himself.. normal old man things! <:D)

Seafoam is intended to be the youngest of his siblings, and his eldest sister was a rotten egg that had kids way too young.. and her kids were ALSO rotten eggs that had THEIR kids way too young. One of those kids being Red. So because of the age gap between him and his sister, and both generations having kids at like 20 years old... Seafoam is 55-65 and Red, his great nephew, is like 4-6...

Spider crab tends to not interact a whole lot with Pinwheel and Tuna, since they are a little too high energy and loud for him. 😅 But Coco and Red are nice company. :)

Spider does worry about the crewmembers that are missing limbs or eyes.. he does his best to offer help without overstepping. Sometimes those things are sensitive to talk about.. Also Spider sure looks old, but I pictured him being somewhere in his late 30s. Stress will add a lot of age to your face... 😅

I can see Spider crab, Louis and Tuna spending the most time in the kitchen just to be around Ellie. Although if one of them comes for a visit and one of the other 2 is already there, they probably wont stick around long. <XD Spider doesn't like Louis or Tuna's noise and Tuna like's to be alone with Ellie to talk peacefully.. As to who cooks when she cant... I can see the crew eating things that don't need to be cooked until she gets better. Pre-baked bread, easy sandwiches, etc- in an emergency though I can see the crew catching fish and Louis cooking them for the crew :))

Red might have nightmares yeah.. although his family were pretty rotten so this new crew is actually rather nice.. also Coco is his favorite playmate :))

AAA THANKYIUU!! :DDD IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE URCHINS DESIGN!! :)))) Unfortunately though, I haven't thought out her backstory too much..

I'm thinking she met Cuttlefish the same time the rest of the crew did. As for what made them friends, I kind'a like the idea that Urchin can see right through Cuttle's facade. She's not used to having someone see through all her lies, see the REAL her.. and still want to be her friend. Its nice.. 🥺

and finally WAARRHGHH THANKD FOR THIS ASK! :DDD MY HEART IS FULL OF JOY READING YOUR INTEREST IN KY OCS!!! :))))

Honestly? I have absolutely no idea XD 💀💀 All I know is Poppy is the oldest and Sally is the youngest. Sally is probably around 18-20--

@spirited-splashes

WWAHGGG THABK YOU SO MUCH!! :DD ITS MY FAVORITE THING TO DRAW!! :}}}}}

@legitanawkwardmess

ALKDKJENFKJEN THATS HILARIOUS XDDDD

I haven't decided what the neighbors reactions would be since I have no plans for Julie to reveal herself.. though even if she did, I have a feeling she would want to maintain her smaller form. Even if it takes more energy..

To Julie, this body represents who she really is. Who she really wants to be. This is how she want's the world to see her. Even if the truth got out and everyone accepted her. She'd stay in her smaller form anyways..

@i-only-created-this-to-read

So far I don't have intentions for there to have been any tenants before Wally.. or at least no one will ever find out who they were or what happened to them.

As for how old Home is, I haven't decided this and its also a complete mystery to the neighbors. Poppy has lived there ever since she was a child and Home was already there when she moved in..

Now Home could get creative and find different ways to harm or even kill those it doesn't like.. but thankfully Home doesn't have any intentions to hurt anyone, especially not Wally. Home wouldn't even try to significantly hurt Barnaby, despite him getting in the way of Homes plans.. although Home cant resist the occasional stubbed toe or splinter out of frustration...

As for adding stuff to Home's body.. if Wally purposefully slapped a strip of duct tape on the wall, that wouldn't really become a part of Homes body. Things only really attach to Home if they are significant.

Examples being a new shelf. An added wall to split a room, cutting a hole in the wall and installing a window, ripping up carpet and installing hardwood floors, etc. The nail holding up a picture frame or that nail gun plugged into the wall are not apart of Home..

Though that's not to say Home cant control the outlets, it can! But that would only give Home the power to turn the nail gun on and off. Home cant make the gun fire..

As for plants, even if they engulf Home and grow in-between the floorboards, Home cannot control plants.. or if there was moss or some kind of fungus growing on the walls? If it ate away at the wood that plank would just die off and Home couldn't feel/control it anymore..

Lastly, Home being able to move things quickly is kind'a what you would imagine. Home moves them as fast as that object can reasonably move. How fast do you think you could slam a door? How fast do you think the window would slam down shut if you gave it all your might?

I hope I cleared up these questions! :00 And sorry if I accidentally missed one or two! <:D

OUUGHH I LOVE THIS!! ITS MAKING ME WANT TO DRAW THE COMIC AGAIN XDDDD

No worries! :DD

@soulful-rodent

On desktop the limit appears to be 100, I'll see what I can do! 😅Also thank you! :))

AW! :DDD I'm glad they like it! But yeah absolutely keep it to the light stuff-- my Octonauts art has a surprising amount of blood in it for a kids show 💀

(Referencing this post)

I might just be! XD🪄✨✨✨Also thank you!! :)))

@captain-skyler1987

Oof... welcome back? <:D ... sorry-

Awe! I'm glad to hear you liked my Gravity Falls stuff!! :DDD Thank you so much!! :))

@jayemover-16

Oh no no! :0 reblogging is a feature of Tumblr and is not reposting! :))

My idea is that Wally only really has sleepovers with Barnaby. He would have sleep overs with Howdy too, but that Pillar's on a pretty tight sleeping schedule/routine <XD

Now Barnaby has noticed that Wally sleeps better when he crashes at his place. Because of this he has started offering his house as a getaway for Wally when ever he notices he seems a little extra tired..

Something to note; neither Barnaby nor Wally think something is wrong with Wally's house because of this- they're just starting to think that Wally's anxiety is worse when he's alone..

Also thank you so much!! :DDDD

@wolfie-777

I don't think much would change to be honest.. they'd still be the same old Wally and Barnaby even after a species swap!

This was sent right after I commented that I'm still open to Welcome Home suggestions. Are these Welcome Home AUs..? <:0 I am unfamiliar with them..

Oof, went back and fixed it. I tend to type too fast and get slime and smile mixed up. 😅

It can be a little embarrassing when people point out my typos, mostly because every single typo I make is pointed out every single time without fail.😅💀 But no worries, I know you meant no harm-

[clangen-dadm]

I got permission to post asks about potential treatments for Warriors disabilities & disorders for those who want to write about them, this one's about autism (referred to as starwalker in-game, but I'll be using the name autism)

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS:

- Do not use the herb-related FICTIONAL treatments IRL AT ALL!! I am not a medical professional or vet. If you believe someone needs help, get them real help!

- I obviously cannot speak for everyone with any disorder, so take everything with a healthy pinch of salt because not everyone will agree with me. If you're one of those people, I am absolutely open to civil conversation and constructive criticism ^^

What is autism?:

Autism, aka Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is characterized by many symptoms including (but not limited to): difficulties with communication and socialization, repetitive behaviors, sensory sensitivities, and difficulties with executive functioning.

Important things to note from this description:

- Autism being referred to as a spectrum means no one person experiences anything the same, so symptoms vary a LOT. Imagine a circle--every autistic person falls somewhere on that circle. Just as symptoms vary, some may not need very much support in their day-to-day life, while others might need lots of regular accommodations. This does not mean anyone is "more" or "less" autistic than anyone else.

- Neurodevelopmental means all autistic people are BORN autistic and will ALWAYS be autistic. Nobody's entirely certain where autism originates from, as it's actually a relatively new diagnosis, but we do know that it is not something that can be prevented or cured.

- Executive functioning is tied to a lot of things--emotional control, flexible thinking, impulse control, self-monitoring, working memory, organization, task initiation, and planning and prioritizing.

I'll admit, I'm writing this late at night and a majority of what I've been planning on saying is already covered here: https://allwritealright.com/how-to-write-an-autistic-character/#Make_Your_Autistic_Character_an_Individual (Excellent post, definitely check it out!), so I don't feel a need to say too much more, but there are s few more things I wanted to discuss.

How would Warriors treat autism?:

Honestly, I don't have any herbal remedies for this (and frankly I don't think they'd be very useful or appropriate anyways), but there are plenty of ways to accommodate for autistic kitties in your Clans!

When a cat is having a meltdown:

1) Stay calm! They don't need more stress right now.

2) Remove any potential triggers.

3) Distract them (encourage them to use calming strategies and offer something else for them to focus on)

4) Give them time and space to recover.

To treat sensory sensitivities in a cat, first identify triggers. If they're triggered by loud noises, try to keep them in a quiet area. They could wear little mossy/feathery earmuffs to help when things are noisy! If they're triggered by touch, make sure everyone knows to ask before touching them (which should be pretty basic manners anyhow). If they're triggered by smell or taste, keep those specific smell/taste triggers away from them. You get the point :)

To help a cat who is resistant to change through a change, try reinforcing everything else being similar except for one thing so that they can ease into a new routine instead of being shoved into it.

For nonverbal characters, communication cards, while limited, are one option left unmentioned in the blog I linked that can be quite helpful, as well! Simple things like common emotions and phrases are a good idea for these cards :)

Ough I really wanted to write more but I can't think of anything else that wasn't covered in that blog post unfortunately :( but if anyone has any questions I'll be lurking around the blog now and then, and I'm sure the actual mods of this blog can help too!!

this is really cool!! thank you :)

To piggyback off this, personally one thing I’d like to see more of in autism rep is characters with negative stims or tics! When overwhelmed, I have really bad negative stims (hitting myself, biting myself, etc), which can make things even worse, but a good therapist and support group can help your character through! In real life this may translate to hitting a plushie or biting an orange peel, but I’d love to see creative ways warriors could come up with instead- maybe they could bite into a preserved pelt or extra prey! In the game we have some stim toys they can get from two legs, but I’m sure warriors could also come up with some creative ideas!

I also appreciate it when other characters help autistic characters work through their sentences without teasing them. I have a moderately annoying stutter and struggle to find my words, especially when my emotions are running high. The best people in my life will patiently wait for me to get it out instead of pressuring me or making fun of it. I’d love to see a community of cats around the autistic character!

I’m sure Song has more ideas as well, unfortunately I’m the only West Coast mod XD ! I’ll ask them in the morning

[light-wynd]

ANOTHER random Melusine info/headcanon dump

Previous one here

Everything under the cut once again!!

Canon random facts

There's a Melusine (called Manaia) in Natlan, and you can find her at the hot springs talking to a Koholasaur! She says Neuvillette told her to wait for the hot spring water to cool down before drinking it, even though she has no interest in tasting it at all. So I guess Neuvi is projecting his hobbies onto them lol.

According to one of Sigewinne's character stories, back when Melusines were hated by humans when they first tried to integrate into society, many of them - understandably - went back underwater due to how badly they were treated. We don't know whether all of these Melusines are still in the village or if they've tried again since, or if they even still remember what happened back then.

A lot of them tend to be named after fairies and other similar mythological or fairytale creatures/characters from around the world.

They might be known for their special eyesight in particular, but pretty much all their other senses seem to be different - and usually more sensitive - than those of humans too. For example, they can walk on slippery surfaces without any problems, and can hear subtle sounds that humans can't (such as Cosanzeana being able to hear noises made by Naku Weeds even when they're barely moving).

The descriptions for the Merusea Village teapot furnishings have some interesting tidbits - for example, one type of their houses is built in a way that amplifies sounds made inside, and if any Melusines in the village are too noisy, they get shut inside one of said houses for some time to talk to themselves all they want.

Melusine ergonomics need further study to this day, which is apparently why they still don't have specialized furniture made for them in the Court of Fontaine. Another reason is that actually developing said furniture would be expensive. Still, come on man, it's been 400 years, let them have some comfy chairs and stuff already :c

They make all kinds of bubbly/squishy noises pretty much whenever they move (even outside of water!). Thought this deserved to be pointed out just in case anyone hasn't noticed them in the game because it's the cutest thing ever.

Elynas, in his parting words to Mamere, refers to all the other Melusines as her sisters, and Serene refers to herself as "everyone's big sister" rather than the village head. Some other Melusines in the village refer to each other as sisters as well - though from what I've noticed, it just tends to be ones that look really similar to each other, such as Flo&Rufina&Virda or Sluasi&Puca. However, none of the ones living in the Court of Fontaine seem to refer to each other as sisters at all, just as colleagues (though Aeval does also say that Serene is like a big sister to them all, but not that she is her eldest sister). There seem to be like, different levels of separation between them (for lack of a better word) despite them all being born from Elynas, and I just find that really interesting.

Apparently, Aeval has never gotten the chance to personally speak to Neuvillette.

Aside from the fact that they came from Elynas, they don't seem to be very aware of anything else about their origins. They all seem to know different legends about themselves and Elynas, but not the actual story of them being a result of an explosion during a battle.

Melusine dolls exist in Fontaine and i wish they existed irl too - specifically, they're Marechaussee Phantom Melusine dolls, commonly given to children who are afraid of the dark.

Headcanons

Sigewinne can assess the health of her fellow Melusines just like she can do with humans, and pays very close attention to them whenever they visit her for tea. She tends to observe the ones that are prone to stress or overworking particularly closely, and does her best to help them relax.

From (probably reading too much into) her dialogue, I'm pretty convinced that Menthe is relatively new to the human world compared to some of the others. For one, she's only now seeming to realize a bunch of difficulties that come with living in the city. But what really made me feel this way is that when she asks if it's too late for her to change jobs, you get a one-time dialogue option to say "it's never too late to start" - to which she responds "Whoa, spoken just like Monsieur Neuvillette". My personal theory is that she might've gotten that response from Neuvi by asking him if it was too late for her to try living in human society, and of course he wanted to encourage her. There are Melusines in the village to this day who want to work in the city in the future, so it's certainly not impossible.

They generally like to sleep curled up in small, cozy places the most. Sleeping on their backs can be uncomfortable for a lot of them because of their tails (and wings for those that have them) being squished under them.

Some Melusines are actually quite happy to let humans pet them if they're asked first. They tend to like being stroked on the top of their heads and scratched behind their feelers and on their chins the most. Additionally, pretty much all Melusines love to be petted by Neuvillette and consider it an honor.

If you're reading this and have any Melusine headcanons yourself, please do feel free to share!!

[nickeverdeen]

Heeyy sweetie <3

I saw you were doing matchups, and i thought that was so fking nice and wanted to try too. I wanted to try with Arcane and Umbrella Academy.

My name's Meli, and I'm pansexual without any preference. I'm an introvert, and most of the time quiet unless I really trust someone. I had some trust issues, so, it does take me a lot to trust someone. I'm creative (or at least that I a been told), the mother like friend, and an overthinker. Most of the times I wear headphones because I have social anxiety and tend to get overwhelmed with loud noises very easily. I am very sarcastic and have a dark sense of humour and I curse a lot in Spanish (that's my first language,) and English. I'm also a people pleaser, and I just put everyone above me not matter what. I'm an observer and a very empathetic person. Most of the times, i match the other person's emotions without noticing, or if I not e they aren't feeling okay, I do try to make them feel better with subtle things (or at least I try to)

I love to write and read. I have many hobbies, like playing guitar, drawing, painting, sewing and cooking, among other stuffs. I mostly read thriller but I end up reading about everything tbh. I LOVE true crime, and that's why I ended up watching everytime I end up in YouTube.

I hate conflict (mostly angry yelling) loud noises (I said that before, but well), and people who just don't care about other people's emotions.

Feel free to not do this and take your time <3 I'm so sorry if any of this doesn't make sense, my English kinda sucks tbh.

PS: I’m absolutely loving the petname for me

——————————

Your Arcane match is…

Viktor

Viktor would appreciate your quiet nature and find comfort in your presence

You’d both enjoy sitting in comfortable silence while working on your respective projects

He’d be fascinated by your creativity, often asking for your input on his inventions or sharing ideas with you, knowing that your perspective would add depth to his work

Viktor would understand your trust issues and never rush you

He’d be patient, allowing you to open up at your own pace, and when you finally do, he’d cherish that trust deeply

He’d find your dark sense of humor refreshing, often joining in with his own dry wit

Your shared sarcasm would create an unspoken bond between you two

Viktor would be very mindful of your social anxiety and sensitivity to loud noises, ensuring that your environment is as calm and quiet as possible when you’re together

Your ability to empathize with others would resonate with Viktor, who often carries the weight of the world on his shoulders

He’d find solace in your understanding and support

As an observer, you’d notice the subtle ways Viktor cares for others, even when he doesn’t say much

You both would enjoy late-night discussions about science, philosophy, and the intricacies of the human mind, often losing track of time in your conversations

Viktor would appreciate the subtle ways you try to make him feel better, like bringing him a cup of tea when he’s stressed or offering a gentle touch when words aren’t enough

Your love for reading and writing would match well with Viktor’s intellectual nature

Viktor isn’t one for grand displays of affection, but he’d show his care for you in small, meaningful ways—like fixing your headphones when they break or leaving you notes in your native language

Viktor would be intrigued by your love for true crime, occasionally joining you in watching documentaries or discussing interesting cases

Viktor would gently encourage you to prioritize your own needs, reminding you that it’s okay to put yourself first sometimes, even if it’s hard for you to do so

He’d be a steady, supportive presence in your life, always there to listen or offer advice when you’re feeling overwhelmed or anxious

Viktor would surprise you with small, handmade gifts that show how much he values your creativity and the unique bond you share

Your The Umbrella Academy match is…

Five Hargreeves

Five would absolutely love your sarcasm and dark humor

The two of you would engage in quick-witted banter that would leave everyone else around you struggling to keep up

Despite his tough exterior, Five would be incredibly protective of you, especially when he realizes how much you put others above yourself

He’d be the first to step in if someone tries to take advantage of your people-pleasing nature

Five would be drawn to your intelligence and creativity, often seeking your opinion on complex matters

Five understands what it’s like to have trust issues, and he’d be patient with you, giving you the time and space you need to feel comfortable around him

Five would appreciate your quiet nature, often just sitting in silence with you, finding peace in the moments where neither of you feels the need to fill the space with words

Your shared dark humor would lead to inside jokes that only the two of you understand, often leaving others puzzled or slightly alarmed by your conversations

Though Five doesn’t always show it, he’s deeply empathetic

He’d notice when you’re matching his emotions and would appreciate your efforts to make him feel better, even if he doesn’t always say it outright

Five would respect your need for personal space and quiet, never pushing you to engage more than you’re comfortable with

He’d also ensure that your time together is never too overwhelming

Five would be intrigued by your love for true crime and thrillers, often joining you in binge-watching documentaries or discussing the psychology behind criminal behavior

Five isn’t big on traditional romance, but he’d show his affection in subtle ways, like making sure you have your favorite snack or fixing something in your house without asking

You both would bond over your love for books, often exchanging recommendations and discussing your favorite plots or character developments

When you’re feeling down, Five would use his sarcasm to lift your spirits, knowing exactly how to make you smile with a well-timed, snarky comment

Five would deeply respect your ability to observe and understand others, recognizing how valuable that skill is, especially in tense situations

Five would be there for you during moments of social anxiety, quietly offering his presence as a grounding force, never making you feel pressured to interact more than you want to

The two of you would have dark comedy nights where you watch the most twisted movies and shows, laughing at the absurdity while enjoying each other’s company

———————

Tag List: @callsignwidow

[windstir]

why strawberry crepe cookie is very autistic coded

by: yours truly, an autistic person who happens to like the pink cookie a lot! 🌸

the chart above is what i will be using as a base for some of the behaviors they express. though i'm letting you guys know beforehand that autism looks different in everyone (obviously) and that some traits might be influenced by traumatic events in your early years of life (like what happens with Crepe.)

most of the information has been taken from canon events and stories, and some other things are just based on my own interpretation of their dialogue and the few things we know about their backstory!

we will go in parts, describing each tab in as much detail as i possibly can ...

that being said, sit the fuck down, grab some snacks, and listen to me ramble about the little pink cookie, because that's what autism made ME do. some people solve math problems, i talk about my little pink thing while i rotate them around in my head like a microwave.

before i start: spoiler warning for pretty much everything regarding Strawberry Crepe Cookie and cookie odyssey.

🌸🌸🌸🌸

i. fixations -

the fixations tab is the easiest thing to explain from this mess, since it's most of their character: robotics!Crepe shows a high interest in wafflebots! being pretty much one of the few things they talk about freely (and something they're very passionate about as a whole) and being something that takes up most of their day and routine.

there are many parts where they start rambling about the bots, being most noticeable during the cookie odyssey (they have many of these moments during their parts of the story! 🎶)

(they also seem to be messy as mentioned by Clotted Cream Cookie at some point in odyssey, unless it comes to their tools! which is. something i relate to deeply lmao. i find organizing my clothes and things pretty boring, but i enjoy organizing my art supplies for example. relaxing activities ~ i'm not sure if it IS part of a fixation but i still think it deserves a spot.)

🌸🌸🌸

ii. noise sensitivity -

this is also easy to explain: they don't like noise. one of their "default phrases" is. just that. them complaining about the noise (and mentioning that their bots are more quiet, once again tying things back to their special interest/hyperfixation.)

and this new comment from the spring 2023 event.

🌸🌸🌸

iii. aggression -

while also having canon arguments to back up this one, it can't really be used as a way to say "oh Crepe is autistic". why? because crepe has gone through trauma and was exposed to violence as a fairly young kid, specially since it wasn't really explained to them that what they did was wrong.

they are aggressive, having threatened others before ... but is it an autistic thing, or just a trauma response of some sort? i can't really tell, honestly. so i'm going to replace it with:

🦄🌸 the inability to properly identify their own emotions, something i've struggled with since i was just a little guy !!!! 🌸🦄

(or, in proper terms, i think it's called alexithymia! if this is wrong i will correct myself.)

when Pure Vanilla mentioned the time period they were alone (or with DE) they responded with: "well ... it WAS boring!"

boring, a word that seems to be quite common in their vocabulary and mine (especially as a kid, we're talking a 5-8 y/o child who struggled to properly identify their emotions and was pretty disconnected from them)

i remember always complaining of boredom, and i sometimes still mix boredom with sadness, understimulation ... you call it.

and the fact that they used the word "boring" to describe a (definitely) traumatic period of their life is. quite interesting to me!

were they truly bored, or were they sad? anxious? scared ...?

and then, once again, in the spring 2023 event, we get more of that:

it happens after the group of kids they're playing with don't listen to their attempts of communicating their discomfort and stress over the situation they're in, Crepe was trying to communicate that they weren't happy with the noise they were making and the fact that everyone was walking in different directions. (and one of the kids was being particularly hyperactive too)

so, they lashed out.

pretty self-explanatory. Crepe also isn't very good at expressing and controlling their negative emotions.

so yeah! back to the ACTUAL chart now ...

🌸🌸🌸

iv. social difficulty -

yeah, another obvious one. they struggle with socializing and seem to prefer the company of their robots and small crowds. (or older people, they seem to be a lot more nicer around Espresso. like in the christmas 2022 story)

not much to say, their socializing skills may also be affected by their trauma. (they were frozen for years as a child, abandoned by their village and then by Dark Enchantress, leading to a pretty lonely life before the events of chapter 9 and odyssey)

but i do think they're genuinely just an awkward little kid, and that's fine! they're learning at their own pace as i've mentioned in another post :)

🌸🌸🌸

v. speech pattern -

... it may be me, but their way of speaking is different of the way kids around their age express themselves usually, so i say they got an abnormal speech pattern.

they use big words and know what they mean, end of the speech tab. i don't know how a normal person speaks so i can't really say "this was supposed to be abnormal speech? but I speak like that!"

🌸🌸🌸

vi. depression / anxiety -

the depression and anxiety tab are mainly based on headcanons i branched out based on their backstory, but they may be enforced by their crunchy dreams story and their fortune: "you're not alone: love surrounds you."

it's probably not related to autism, though. it's probably because of their trauma and abandonment issues. either way it's there.

to need reassuring in something like this means that they probably cling compulsively to certain thoughts/beliefs.

which, if i remember correctly, is a thing that sometimes happens with autistic people according to other autistic people. it's like a weird fixation of sorts, i'm not 100% sure ...

the only time(s) i've seen them have some sort of anxious behavior is during their battle speech, where they panic after losing to Gingerbrave's team.

then during the spring event of 2023, where they say that they "can't think straight" because of the noise Pancake Cookie is making.

🌸🌸🌸

i'm not sure if they got any tics and fidgets, i haven't noticed anything that can classify as such, so it's one of the lowest tabs.

same with the abnormal posture. and if they got it is probably because of the being frozen thing weakening their body to an extent.

🌸🌸🌸

in conclusion! after tumblr deleted part of my post from my drafts ... _(:3」 ∠)_

i wholeheartedly believe Crepe might be an autistic coded character, whether or not is something the writers intended to do isn't clear to me, but they show SO many traits that i wouldn't be surprised if they canonically were! most of the things i mentioned are also based from my own experience and the bits i can remember form my own childhood as an undiagnosed kid, but yeah!

i hope you enjoyed this painfully long rant <3 i might make one eventually about how i think Crepe might also be physically disabled (implied), but for now, have this.

okay bye i can't post more pictures because the app sucks.

[azalea-romanoff]

HAPPY AUTISM AWARENESS DAY!

First: happy autism awareness day to all my mun/mods with autism or who have characters with autism. (in my case, it's both!)

So in honour of Autism Awareness Day and month, I'd like to tell you all about my levels of autism <3

Tics and Fidgets: I'm on the spectrum such that I have a lot of tics and fidgets. Usually it's the repititions which feel nice, and it can often annoy others. I have a tendency to: click my tongue, snap my fingers, flap my hands, rock back and forth, and i make popping sounds. the more subtle tics are pulling my hair, picking my fingernails.

Poor Eye contact: Poor eye contact with me is only with people i don't know or during stressful situations. like if i'm in a meeting with Nick Fury, i'll be fine. but if i'm greeting new agents? hell no. (//ooc: i can talk to my class teacher just fine, but with maybe the delivery man, a cashier, i can't look them in the eyes.).

Abnormal Posture: ...as an agent, this is a huge no-no. the only reason i got the job is because my abnormal posture is literally me just keeping my fists clenched at all times, and keeping my left foot a bit more in front of the other. a tense fighting stance if you will. Convenient!

Anxiety: Shockingly, it's low! I only get anxious in places which are too loud or too far from home. loud places make me really anxious because it means i have too many thoughts in my head and too many things to process at a time. and being deaf, too, with hearing aids, it makes it 100x tougher. Sorry, but Azalea Romanoff-Maximoff isn't the girl you take to a party or a club.

Social Difficulty: I have moderately high social difficulty. as in, i have trouble communicating my thoughts when in big groups, and making friends is a bit...daunting as a task. And sometimes i miss on non-verbal cues like sarcasm, subtle joking, even a few metaphors here and there. So iF YOU NEED A SPECIFIC BIRTHDAY GIFT, TELL ME TO MY FACE. DON'T HINT IT-? I WILL LITERALLY NOT GET YOUR POINT.

Noise Sensitivity: ...have you met me? i am VERY sensitive to noise. Vacuum cleaners, power drills, gunshot sounds (//ooc: movies, especially), someone typing loudly on their laptop, so many of these day-to-day sounds drive me to a meltdown sometimes because it's just so annoying.

Abnormal/Flat Speech: Nope. Most people can tell how i'm feeling by my voice, except in situations where i'm confused on how to react. like if someone says they're pregnant, i'll just say 'oh, nice.' like, are you happy or sad or like-? eH???

Fixations: I have plenty. But my biggest ones? Top Three: Animals, History, Space. iF i get bored, i will literally talk about this for hours, and dare you show even an iota of interest in the same, my friend you're gonna be there a WHILE.

Depression: only on sensory overload days, or on days where i randomly get sad. a result of the anxiety, honestly. i think wayyyyy too many 'what if' scenarios.

Aggression: And finally, I'm not a very aggressive person. Only if i'm very overstimulated, if i'm not being heard, or if i'm just having a bad day in general, i might break a pencil or two. maybe throw a few books down a shelf.

BONUS: soooo i hate the colour yellow or anything that is yellow. like, i haven't ever touched a banana. my favourite colour is red, and my favourite animal is the panda. i hate the feeling of shag carpets and i don't like the feeling of nylon on skin. i don't like the scratchiness of yarn and i don't like the sound of chalk on a chalkboard. i do like the hum of an air conditioner though, and looking outside a window helps calm me down.

SO that's all about my autism! I hope i made you all aware! Reach out to any fellow autistic people you may know, and do find out about their fixations, if they're non-verbal or verbal. accept them for who they are, don't try and fix them.

autism isn't a disease. our minds are just wired differently. if you can figure out how a complex video game works within 24 hours, how hard can a person be?

🤟 love you all!

bellow is my autism spectrum evaluation results (mod's) for people who are close to me, like @moongirlwidow @wandabug @supermilkshakebanana @nevaeh-daughterofvalcarol @capt-carter-mostly-official @esmerxyaugusta and @pietro-maximoff-official <3

[writingrenna]

Hassel x GN!Reader

"Where The Heart Is"

A story where you start to actively pay attention to the specific brand of weird Hassel throws your way.

I admit, I didn't finish most of the friendship quests because I WANT MORE OF HIM, WHY DO CHARACTERS JUST DISAPPEAR/BECOME GENERIC NPCS WHEN THEY'RE DONE BEING IN THE STORY?? I want to truly engross myself in his backstory, so I'll be taking things slow. Don't mind me, just dragging out the inevitable </3

I WILL be taking advantage of his rematches, thank you very much.

ALSO this takes place three years after the end of the game so your expy has time to be hired and get to know Hassel, you work as one of the academy librarians!

Tone/Ending: Slightly Angsty At Parts, Wholesome, Romantic

Warnings: If you're sensitive to rough family situations, be warned! Hassel is very firm with no longer associating with his family and it's hinted at that his childhood wasn't the best, but the story doesn't dwell on that yet, I'm exploring that more later

Also, beware the movie and Hassel's painting sections, especially if the Iron Giant makes you sad

Word Count: A little bit over 5,000

^^^>

"You're... really sure about this, huh?" You say into your mug.

The steam from your tea gently tickled your nose as you considered what he said. The two of you were standing at the back of the staff room, both leaning against a window each on opposite sides of the bookshelf. The rain was fairly loud, but it served more as a gentle white noise to your conversation than anything.

"Yes, I simply cannot imagine an outcome that would make reaching back out again worth it."

You couldn't see his face, but the sadness in his tone was evident, so you took note of that.

"Ah, I know how that feels." You say, remembering some sour relationship conclusions where the other person reached out again or seemed to linger a bit more than they should. But his story... holy Tauros, it was something else.

"Well, do you think you're happy here in Paldea?" You begin. "I mean, would you consider seeing more of the world from time to time? Maybe even visit your home region again?"

He paused, taking in your question. He then huffed a little out of his nose, although it didn't seem to be out of annoyance.

"Well, I have lightly entertained the idea of just visiting my homeland again, but I just..." He paused. "Something is holding me back."

Your face dropped from attentive neutrality to one of sadness for him.

"Hey, no, that's valid of course! I was just wondering where you stood, you know? Like, after escaping all that and starting anew here? I'll stop asking if you like, though."

He immediately rebutted your offer.

"Nonsense, my dear. I do not mind your curiosity. I am aware my familial ties are... strange."

You can almost feel him stare into his mug in self-reflection, the one with the hand-drawn Gossifleur design a student made him that he had printed on. The one he proudly owned and tearfully showed off to every member of staff who happened to walk by if he had it at the time until the entire combined workforce of both the academy and the league knew about it. His favorite mug...

Him speaking up snapped you out of your trance.

"Ah, and about your first question. Truth be told, I do not have enough time to even imagine seeing more of the world, much less experience it. Between the academy and my duties with the elite four, my schedule is simply swamped! I sadly do not even remember the last time I had an extended break."

You frowned, looking down at your own mug. The one you spun yourself after classes on a day that Hassel had done a lesson in properly handling clay, donated courtesy of Brassius. He gave you a chance to throw down and de-stress as he cleaned the rest of the classroom since you had an especially rough day reorganizing books in the massive entrance hall. It wasn't perfect, but it was your own pride and joy, one he had cried upon seeing you finally use one spring morning.

"Oh! But do not pity me, I really and truly do love working with our students and giving it my all in the league. My classes remind me of the joy and wonder one feels while appreciating the beauty the world has to offer, even during those darker days. The future is bright for all our students! And these dragon Pokémon..." He paused. "They were always there for me despite my family's less-than accepting stance on my life choices. I have nothing but praise and gratitude to show them all."

You smiled, looking down a little as you let his words reverberate in your mind. You were going to ask him another question, only for him to completely derail your train of thought.

"Besides... there are many a thing here to make me feel well and truly at home."

You could hear a great warmth in his voice when he said this. You pondered on this, wondering if he meant to hint at something there when you notice the rain had stopped.

"Hey, the rain's gone!" You said before departing from the window. You stretch, careful not to accidentally spill the contents of your mug as you do so. You then walk forward a bit, looking over at your colleague as you do so.

You can't help but pause, however, at the way he stared longingly at the mug.

His eyes were transfixed on the last bit of tea left, swirling the liquid in his hands. His usual piercing eyes were replaced with a far more softened gaze, pupils large and unfocused.

He glanced up at you, smirking, although it was out of contentment. You couldn't help but focus on his blush. He was obviously thinking about something, but what ?? The way he stared at you from below his eyelids, refusing to lift his head more, but still giving you his undivided attention made you feel... strange.

'What is this man thinking?'

Despite taking in every little thing you could about his strange behavior, the moment really only lasted a few seconds before he chuckled softly, sitting up straight himself.

"Ah, well then." He softly intoned. "We should probably head out. Would you..."

He rubbed the back of his neck.

"...do me the honor of... of letting me walk you outside?"

^^^>

The rain-kissed streets of Mesagoza smelled fresh, and the warmth in the air left you without the need of a jacket, so you decided to forego wearing it. Hassel seemingly felt the same way, taking his coat off and draping it over his right arm before gently placing his left dominant hand over top it, as if caressing it. He took a deep breath, eyelids closed and fluttering.

"Ahh... smell that evening air. The world has been rinsed clean and emerges anew!"

You smiled up at him. He truly did seem to appreciate every little thing this world had to offer, good or bad.

"Hah! Yeah, I love the smell of rain. Very cozy, makes me feel all peaceful and stuff."

You suddenly remembered something.

"O-oh! And did you know? The word describing that comfy smell of rain after a dry season is 'petrichor'!"

He looked at you, head tilted down and to the side at you, his wide eyes showing his astonishment.

"I did not! Thank you for enlightening me, I now know a far simpler way to describe this feeling."

You beamed up at him, eyes closing momentarily as you grinned a toothy grin. When your eyes opened again, his face had an enchanted smile. That blush... it was back.

A coincidence, surely.

You decided to pretend you didn't notice.

"Oh, hey! It's a nice evening. Would you like to take a little walk?"

You bow slightly, looking up at him and offering your hand. He flinches slightly, eyes widening again as his face erupted in a deeper hue.

"Uh, y-yes. Yes I would."

He hastily grabs your hand and moves to face forward, avoiding your gaze. The man was probably in his early-to-mid 50's or 60's, but his voice audibly cracked. You didn't mention it, however, much to his relief.

^^^>

Here you are, splashing and kicking about in some puddles. You brought rain boots with you to keep at the school because the weather seemed to change at a sneeze in Paldea, but you really didn't mind. You loved the rain. You also loved having company, even super posh and serious company. You called for your companion.

"C'MON, HASS! WHY NOT GET YOUR PANTS WET THIS ONE TIME!?"

He was leaning away, seemingly trying to protect his suit jacket.

"Er... I would rather not have to deal with dry cleaning for a few minutes of rebellion..."

You understood, although a part of you just wanted to see the man act like a child again. So you walked off to stare out into the distance, 'hmm'ing to yourself as you came up with an idea. This worried Hassel, who backed up a bit.

"My dearest, what is on your mind? I'm not sure I feel comfortable with your suspicious little 'hmm's..."

You let out a mischievous little cackle before turning your upper half back towards him. His nervous smiling face screams 'oh Arceus, save me!', yet he remains glued in place. He seems ready to bolt at any second, however.

"Oh, nothing." You start, turning to walk toward the man, whose nervous smile wavers a bit to being more worried.

"But I will break you."

He lets out a shakey noise, but he remains.

"Ah, well, it is alright. No need for, um, breaking." He grins. "I am quite content simply watching you enjoy yourself."

He seemed genuine. You groaned.

"Oh, I am still breaking you, sir." You point a finger at him, waggling it a little as you turn and walk away, although you don't retract it, simply shaking it to your side. "Juuuust you wait."

He 'hmmph's, shaking his head in amusement.

"I see, I am..."

He mumbles an 'Oh bother...' under his breath before continuing.

"...interested... to see whatever you have planned for the night."

You freeze. You didn't actually stop to think about when you'd "break" him. But tonight definitely works.

"Good. Cause it's gonna be WIIIIILD."

^^^>

It certainly was not nearly as wild as Hassel expected. Here you were, popping popcorn as he sat under a blanket fort in your living room. A part of you expected him to be giddy, feeling that childlike wonder take over.

But the logical part of you predicted his bewildered expression, silently staring up and around at the neon lights you hung about the dark room.

"So." he began. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Oh, I wanna remind you of what it's like to be a kid again! Let loose, man!" You did a strange little shimmying dance as you said this.

His eyes widened, although it was different than before.

"Really now?"

"Yes, really!"

The popcorn was finally done, so you put it in a large bowl before going over and putting it on the floor beside him.

"It's movie night now! Your choice..." You said, holding up several cases with classic movies.

The Little Primarina, The Pyroar King, even Revavrooms were available for him to choose from. He carefully looked them over, his usual neutral expression on his face as he seemed to seriously consider which movie to watch. It was kinda funny, your stomach compressing a little to hide a laugh that was threatening to come up. He didn't seem to notice however, instead pointing to one, looking back up at you in the process.

"That one looks promising."

^^^>

He chose poorly. Or at least, he chose one he wasn't prepared for. You watched as tears spilled from his eyes, him constantly shaking his head and whispering "no" over and over with the covers pulled up over his nose. The Steel Ultra Beast really did a number on him, watching the mysterious entity (who we now know as Celesteela) sacrifice itself to save its new friends from an Ultra Wormhole a secret branch of the government tried to seize, but instead caused to collapse. He yelped when it said to itself "Palafin." He couldn't bare to watch the climax, sobbing pitifully while squeezing his eyes shut, looking down and repeatedly chomping down on the blanket you two shared.

"It's Ok, Hass..." You said, rubbing his shoulder.

You had tried to warn him, but in all fairness, it'd take a lot of effort to properly warn anyone of the emotions involved watching it without spoiling the entire movie.

He leaned into you, his eyes still closed, tears still managing to escape.

"Th-thank you, my dearest..." He sniffles.

You felt bad for even having it as an option, but then again, he seemed to enjoy it despite the... sorrowful conclusion. You gave him a little while to let it all out, holding him tight and rubbing his back as he bawled his eyes out into your shoulder. You were so sucked up in comforting him that you almost forgot-

Gasp!

You sat up abruptly, although you hold onto Hassel so he's still lying on you.

"The ending scene!"

He's teary-eyed, but he looks over to the TV screen.

"The ending has not happened yet?"

"No! Or at least, not the true ending."

You smirk and look down at him like a Purrloin caught stealing but absolutely not regretting it, although his eyes are still sad. Either way, he kept watching, when...

"It... it is rebuilding itself?"

"Yeah! I mean, the movie never got a sequel, which sucks, but hey! Open-ended bittersweet endings are one of my favorite kinds!"

He seemed to feel slightly better, sniffling a bit as he sat up and wiped his nose.

"Ah, I-I see..." He said, slowly calming himself down. He took a few deep breaths before turning to you.

You feel the need to apologize.

"Hey, sorry I, uh, brought that movie out in the first place."

He looked at you, a weak smile on his face.

"Do not apologize, my dear! I can see why you and many others consider it a cult-classic. It was a marvellous story despite the turmoil in my heart. Perhaps even partially because of it."

He seemed hesitant to say the next part, sitting with his legs up to his chest.

"I, um, had a fantastic time with you tonight."

He turned to look at you, eyes sparkling due to the light of the TV.

"Really, I did."

There was so much warmth in his tear-stained face.

"I'm glad! I just wanted to see you let your guard down, haha!"

"Ah, I see..." He said, eyes darting to the side as he turned away, contemplation on his face.

The two of you sat in silence for a moment as he thought on what all just happened. You decided to close your eyes, lightly humming a tune to yourself. It wasn't one that existed, or even made sense really, but it was your own little melody.

"Ah, I have always wondered, is that a song you like?"

"Hehe, nah, just a melody I made up one day."

"Oh. It is very pleasant." He smiled.

"Thank you!" You smiled back.

^^^>

He had gone home later that night after you forced him to stay for pizza and a few episodes of a show you used to watch. He went for a salad instead, not wishing to feel sluggish on his way home, although you got him to eat one singular solitary slice. All-in-all, it was a very good night. You got him to smile and laugh again despite watching such a sad movie just an hour before.

It was now Friday, three days later. You knew he'd have something special planned for his students today, as he did every other Friday. You wondered what it'd be as you reorganized the shelf housing the Occulture Magazine again. You idly wondered how accurate the entries were when you heard a bell.

"Oh, classes are out already?"

You had already kept up with what the students in the entrance hall were up to that day, since there weren't many there to really pick up after, so really, all you had to do was a final check of the catalog you started earlier so you could pop by and see what Hassel had done that evening.

It took a bit over 30 minutes to wrap everything up, but you finished, signing out of your work computer and making your way over to the art room.

When you reached the door, you heard a familiar tune. You wondered what it was, before suddenly realizing something: it's the tune you hum! He remembered it? Has he hummed it before?

You entered the classroom, prepared to ask him how he remembered the erratic tune so well when you decided to see if he was in a state to even be distracted. Hassel was sitting at a desk, adding various dots with the aid of a thin paintbrush to a canvas he had. You assumed it was glitter or stars.

He looked up at you, neutral expression turning into a huge grin.

"Oh, my darling! Come over here! I have something I'd like to show you!"

You did as he said, coming over as he himself stood up to meet you at the other side of the desk.

He held up a painting, and by Arceus was it gorgeous. It was of Celesteela, flying into space, a content look on its face despite the doom looming over it.

"I used this as an example for today's lesson." He began. "I was inspired by our movie night earlier this week. I thought of the many pieces of media that make one feel things, the images and words that truly stick with you that came from another mind, how we often analyze and relate to them. So I decided to base this Friday's special on that very concept! Everyone was allowed to draw and paint their own favorite scenes from the movies, shows, and games they enjoy."

You nodded, still taking in all the details of his painting. He based it off a real photo of Celesteela, a sorta modern "glow up" of sorts that make the familiar scene truly pop.

He continued.

"This piece was meant to represent the acceptance Celesteela showed during the climax of the film. How it smiled despite facing what it thought at the time was oblivion. How it..." He swallowed and blinked harshly a few times. "...it would do anything for... the ones they lub... w-without he... hesi-"

You put a hand on his shoulder, smiling. The man looked back down at you, obviously on the brink of tears as he swallowed and sniffled a bit.

"Heh... I suppose you wouldn't need my analysis, seeing as though that tape of yours was so well-loved."

He had taken note of how the label on the tape wasn't perfectly pristine.

You scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes.

"Yeah, well..." You continued to look off to the side. "I like it when things make me feel things."

He softly laughed, a few stray tears finally escaping. He closed his eyes while leaning his head back for a moment.

"Yes, I can tell. You seem to enjoy learning about descriptive words and how specific they can get..."

He trailed off before wiping his tears away, finally looking down at you again.

"Well, speaking of, would you like to... accompany me at my booth for the academy's upcoming fair? It would be nice to teach people more ways to express themselves and how they feel about the things they consume. It is truly saddening to see people keep their opinions to themselves simply because they do not know how to accurately bring their thoughts into the world. And as a self-proclaimed 'word nerd', your area of expertise would be an excellent addition to my own inspiration station, alleviating the frustration they feel and helping them dig up what they feel inside."

You blinked. Hassel, the Hassel wanted to work with you? You thought he was far more articulate than you, often gnawing at what he says in your mind and trying to emulate that vibe in your emails. I mean, you often said "lmao" in real life. Having an interest in words sadly didn't make you a wordsmith of any sort. Did he see something in the way you speak or express yourself that you didn't?

"I'll d-do it."

Woah, how nervous were you? Or, rather, how eager were you?

Hassel's golden eyes shone as he grinned, ecstatic at your 'yes'.

"Ah, do not worry, my dear! You will do amazingly, I just know it."

Looks like you're gonna need to break out the thesaurus.

^^^>

It was the afternoon of the "Treasures Within" fun fair. Hassel's booth was really fun, he'd do his usual demo thing while also personally helping people start their artistic journeys when they didn't quite know where to go after each session. His advice came from a place that personally helped him cope and start his life anew in his past, although he didn't delve into just how it helped, only that he understands the struggle.

As for you, if someone wanted to articulate exactly how they felt about a piece of art or music, you'd hold a "mind unraveling" session, where you picked out certain themes they repeated or tried to go deeper in until they felt confident in describing what it is they feel with words that felt right. You thanked yourself for having the forethought to read up and watch a bunch of impassioned speeches online ahead of time.

It was a month of you hiding your anxiety from Hassel, but you can tell he knew, as he not-so-subtly tended to your every unspoken need, such as making tea whenever you were too busy reading, or having a comfy spot prepared whenever you came to his room to discuss your plans. He would even manage to check in on you more often than usual despite needing to tend to things on his own end.

Nothing could really get past him, could it?

As you were finishing up helping a kid who wanted to express just why he loved a drawing where Regieleki and Xurkitree became friends so much, you turn to see Hassel already looking at you, a familiar fond smile on his face.

"I would say today was a success, no?"

You pause for a split second, although you're not sure why. You respond, however.

"Oh yeah, for sure! I'd say we make a great team, even!"

Now it was Hassel's turn to pause, although his is far more noticeable. Jolting slightly, his mouth suddenly presses together into a tight line as a blush erupts on his face. He pretends to not realize this, although he looks tense.

"I certainly agree, my dear-"

His voice momentarily rises in pitch as he abruptly chokes and doubles over at the end, turning away. It sounded genuine, although you wondered if it'd have happened if you didn't say what you did.

You couldn't help but look back on all his odd behaviors around you lately.

"Um, yes!"

You turn to a vendor.

"I'm..."

You momentarily turn back to the man, pointing over your shoulder to the stand.

"I'm gonna go get some juice. For you, specifically."

You then turn and leave without another word.

^^^>

It was night. The fun fair has long since been cleared out in Mesagoza, but the two of you were nowhere near the town anymore. In fact, you were on top of the lighthouse on Poco Path.

Your eyes were closed, taking in that sea breeze. You cooed softly as you felt the gentle wind cut through the otherwise muggy night. Despite the humidity, it felt nice, reminding you of summer nights as a child.

Your train of thought came to an abrupt halt at this realization, however.

What was the weather like where Hassel used to live?

You opened your eyes, slowly turning toward the man, who also had his own closed. He had a calm smile on his face. You didn't want to ruin it, but you couldn't help but feel bad. He left all that was familiar to him due to circumstances he couldn't control, at the hands of his own family, no less. You wondered if he had any particular places, feelings, or things he missed, but you decided to ask a different question.

"...hey, uh... Hass?"

His smile widened for a split-second before he responded, eyes still closed.

"Yes, my dear?"

You didn't know how to begin.

"Does this weather make you think of anything?"

His smile fell to a neutral frown as he thought.

"Hm. What do you mean?"

How do you ask this question without annoying him...?

"L-like, this weather reminds me of summer break, when I'd open my window past my usual bedtime and stare at the stars. Does this weather make you feel nostalgic in any way? Like, sentimental and peaceful and stuff?"

You look down, stretching the bottom hem of your top a little. "It's just an intense feeling I'm getting, sorry."

He takes a moment to ponder this question.

"Ah, no worries. We often feel the need to relate with others in regards to our intense feelings and emotions. But to answer your question, it does, yes."

This answer both relieved and confused you further. He seemed fine answering, but it was somewhat vague. You decided not to push it, however, just glad he didn't take it the way you thought he might (not that it'd be wrong if he didn't want to answer it at all.)

"Right on, man. Right on..."

You turned away and stared back out into the distance. The silence that swept over the scene felt loose, fluid, running through and around the two of you like some unknown substance.

You weren't sure if you should add anything onto the conversation, but his voice decided what would happen instead.

"I... have a confession to make, actually."

You froze.

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath.

"That feeling you often speak of, the one where you feel a lightness in your chest and peace wash over you. A peaceful sadness, even, I do not really feel when I think of 'home' anymore. I feel nothing. "

You take his words in. It made sense, really, but it made you sad beyond belief.

He continued.

"Yes, that feeling of longing, a-and belonging, I know it may be hard to truly grasp, but trust me when I say I am fine with my decisions, that I cannot say I regret leaving my old life behind even if I do miss certain aspects of it from time to time. The negatives here far outweigh the positives there."

You nodded. Honestly, this convo was all your mind needed to extinguish your curiosity for a good while. He left home, and he's content with his current life, no matter how much he may miss certain aspects of it. No elaboration needed.

Except, there was some elaboration needed, only it was needed elsewhere.

"Oh! And your confession? Or was that your confession?"

He paused, body tensing as his grip on the handrails tightened. His breathing became slightly labored as a blush creeped onto his face.

"Um, well..."

He mumbled an "Oh dear..." to himself before continuing.

"When I said I have things here that make me feel at home, I meant the connections I've made. I love the people in my life far more than I love my family. I still care for them, yes. I can confidently say I love them, but I cannot say I actually like them."

He wasn't looking at you. Your mind was swimming with possibilities for what he planned on saying next, although you had the faintest idea...

"I... am very fond of you, too. I often find that I feel that peaceful feeling around you in particular."

He swallowed, eyes stinging with tears he tried desperately to blink away. He was holding his composure quite well, actually. You subconsciously held your breath.

"My darling dearest, I cannot hide how I feel for much longer, no matter how hard I try... I think... I believe I am... falling in love with you."

Your mind went blank as you stared up at the man, heart and stomach dropping in an instant. His eyes have closed yet again. His shuddering shoulders and shaky breath gave everything away, however.

He lifted his arm, covering his eyes as you continued to stare wide-eyed at him.

"I am so very sorry, my dear! I-I hobe you do nod feel cornered by my conbession!" He sobbed. "I shall make my leab ib- ib you wish do be aloooone! BWUHH-HU-HU-HU-HUHHHHH!!"

You could barely understand what he was saying. He had already started to walk away when you finally closed your mouth. You weren't even aware you were gaping at him, the confession shutting your senses down despite halfway expecting something along these lines at this point. You guessed actually hearing him say it was different to speculating quietly to yourself...

"W-wait! Mr. Hassel!"

You grabbed his free arm, stopping him from getting any further. His cries continued, however.

"I-I'm sorry! I was just so shocked, I-"

You look down, still processing the feeling of your heart pounding in your chest. You hadn't even realized you were shaking so much until you realized how oddly... weak your grip on his arm felt.

"I-I jus-"

He took a few rapid half-breaths before stopping you.

"You do nod h-hab do gib me a resbonse! Nod now, nod eb-eberrrrr!"

You considered this. Truthfully, the idea of giving dating Hassel a shot didn't seem half-bad. You looked up to him, admired his skill and his strength despite everything he's been through. Not to mention, you admittedly found the man kinda cute. His personality just struck you as so sincere, taking his work and emotions very seriously. He's a very honest man, so he must truly love you. You'd definitely feel secure with him...

"...you're right... about the me needing time thing." You began. "B-but once I sort my feelings out, maybe we can get to know each other some more?"

He was still trembling, breath catching up with him as he hyperventilated. But a few seconds later, while heavily panting, he could respond.

"I-I would lub that!!"

He had turned to you, eyes still closed, head still tilted back, but he grabbed both of your hands and gently brought them up a little closer to himself. As he finally caught his breath and started breathing at a normal pace (aside from the large, shallow breaths he took), he slowly opened his eyes, looking at you, blush ever present on his face. His eyes sparkled with an intensity you'd never seen before as he smiled, the bottoms of his eyes crinkling as he did so. For a split-second, he looked like a young man again...

The two of you stood there, a tranquil feeling coming over you, when you heard him start to whimper. His mouth wobbled for a second before he suddenly started bawling again, causing your eyes to widen. You then let out an odd chuckle.

"Oookay, big guy. C'mere."

You took him into a hug, causing him to cry even louder as he let his overwhelming emotions out.

^^^>

It had been a few weeks. You were thinking back on everything that had happened. The moment you realized 'maybe he feels stronger feelings toward me than I thought.' How he went along with your weird plans despite having better things to do, how he looked out for your well-being by going above and beyond for you and truly understanding your needs, how he always praised and incorporated you into his work...

You absent-mindedly flip through some pages of Occulture Magazine. It really didn't seem too realistic now that you actually had a chance to sit down and read through it, but strangely enough, that wasn't really what you were thinking about right now.

You stand up, putting the book back on the shelf, a smile on your face as you make your way to the art room. He was on break at the moment.

You approach the open door, leaning against it and knocking, catching his attention.

"O-oh! Hello there!" He quickly clears his throat. "I'm very happy to see you! What brings you here?"

You look around, making sure nobody was there to hear this.

"Hoooow about... we go see a movie this Saturday?"

^^^>

A/N

I KNOW THIS STORY IS A LITTLE ODD! Like, he seems to be madly in love with you already, to an obvious degree, but this is the first time you take note of anything, right? Well, it's one of those "Oh yeah, there were signs" sorta situations. The pottery night you had with him was a small hint that he was already looking out for your well-being well before this and giving you special attention, but you just didn't think much of it. Plus, he's quite emotional, you imagine that once he finds a friend he feels safe around, his even more complex feelings come out. Which, true, but also HE DOES STUFF AROUND YOU THAT HE ONLY DOES AROUND YOU BUT YOU DON'T NOTICE CAUSE HE IMMEDIATELY CHANGES HIS BEHAVIOR ONCE HE REALIZES YOU'RE NEARBY. You defo noticed that behavior change, but again, he changes a bit around close friends already, and you didn't really have a point of reference for what his "normal" is (yet)

Sorry, I just love the pining dude genre, gimme some more oblivious love interests for male characters, please! Your gender still isn't stated, I just wanted Hassel to be the one to be super soft and like "Yes please notice me" while you're like "Huh. Cool. He just asked to take me to a new café. So anyway, how about some more weirdly specific words?" IT'S SUPER CUTE AHH

Also, speaking of, the story was gonna have them going to a café instead of a walk, and him talking about some beautiful customs and traditions from around the world and bringing up the Applin thing as a super duper totally subtle hint at his feelings, but you'd genuinely not know of that tradition before, so you'd just see it as a neat little cultural tidbit, but then I was like "bruh they just had tea", so I changed it to them spending time together like kids cause I thought it'd be cute if you got through to him to get him to experience things from a childhood he couldn't enjoy (even if it is more based on your own childhood, you're trying! Consider the night they shared here a test run). No worries, in future installments, reader will begin to fully understand what he went through growing up (I tried to make their questions less about his family and more about his life in general, but of course, the two are forever linked.) The idea of the little fair came randomly, based on the fact that all the gym leaders seem to have some career where they express themselves (even Larry with his "normal old job(s)," although obviously it's all more complicated than that), plus the entire game has frequent themes of people finding where they fit in life, what they wanna do, their dreams/goals, things like that. It's pretty interesting, actually, I can't articulate myself well tho so RIP I guess

ALSO ALSO not gonna edit this one cause the Tumblr app COULD NOT HANDLE IT LAST TIME so yeah

OH YEAH I HAVEN'T SEEN THE IRON GIANT IN 66 MILLION YEARS SO SORRY, I JUST TOOK WHAT I REMEMBERED AND POKÉ-FIED IT, I'm just going to use the excuse that the legends of the Ultra Beasts go WAY back, so the Celesteela in the movie may look simplified by comparison due to them not having a complete picture of it compared to the characters in S/US/M/UM. The movie doesn't even say its name, simply referring to it as the Steel Ultra Beast because nobody knew their names yet

[emeritus-fuckers]

I would like to think I'd be a ghoul, but I'd be a rather gentle souled ghoul. My reasoning is mainly because I've been called the Raccoon Demon for fun and the title just feels right. There isn't much behind it, but that's my reason I can think of.

Out of the Papa's my favorites (if I had to choose) are Copia and Secondo, but realistically I see myself as a handful at times so I don't know it Secondo would like me very much. Personally, Primo and Copia would seem like the easier ones to work with, so either of them. I'd say primo because the thought of helping him with the garden or at least accompanying him would be nice. I'd definitely try to take pictures of the flowers, butterflies, and maybe even spiders the plants have by them. Or even Primo if he would like. The photography part also stands for Copia, who I feel like we'd both be close due to my love of rodents and his albums being one of my top ones. I definitely give off raccoon energy. Either way, I'd try to make lots of memories.

I'd definitely say that I'm ambiverted. It depends on my mood and how I wake that day. If things are going well, and I'm feeling very positive energy/I'm energetic, I definitely fall into extroverted mode. If I am tired or have had a physical, emotional, ect strain then I usually feel more introverted and less social/quiet. Being around people I love/trust is helpful, though. Additionally, I am either the type to fake it and force myself to interact to make a better impression/avoid conflict. I force it, but then I get more tired.

When it comes to chores I'd enjoy, I know that anything is more enjoyable if I have music to the point I need it to function a lot. I'd be best at acts of service as simple as running errands to making a meal for the ones I love. Besides that, I am neutral.

As for some information about me? Well, I really enjoy the outdoors and I took a hike yesterday and I really enjoyed it for the most part so there is that. Adventures in the woods! I well, I like Halloween, Fall, and Haunted Attractions. I'm short (5'1). I can end up figuratively bouncing off the walls if something related to my hyperfixations excites me. I'm rather emotionally sensitive/need positive reassurance plenty of times, though by being helpful and fed positive words, I could probably do anything. Or at least try.

- 🦝

This post is part of the 1000 followers role in ministry event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your role in the ministry is...Wildlife and landscape Photographer for the Clergy

Your boss is Primo but you often work for Copia.

You take photos of Copia’s rats, for their birthdays or for special celebrations/holidays. Also just day to day photos. Copia puts all of them in an album and hangs some up. He'll also give you a copy of the group photo at the end of the year.

You also photograph Primo's garden throughout the year.

Primo will also invite you to help in the garden if you have time. It's more something you do for pleasure. As you work you both share some stories and gossip. Primo will always make you a cup of tea in thanks. In summer and autumn sometimes spring if it's warm enough you sit outside his shed in the evening round the fire pit.

Copia will often join you both and bring some of his rats, one of his rats particulary likes you and sits on your lap. Copia also brings marshmallows to toast in the crackling fire.

You get to be outdoors a lot with your job and on your time off. Copia also will sometimes join you for a hike. It's mainly when he is stressed, you kinda have to drag him out at first as he makes protesting rat noises. But he really apprecaites it nand cheers up as soon as you are away from the Ministry and all the stress of his work. You also take Primo tea on days he is more tired and can't do as much as he wants to. You'll tend to the garden and make sure he has a good meal.

Copia and Primo both love your work. They also think you are awesome and amazing so you get plenty of postiive feedback and assurances from them (they are more than hapy to).

~

Written by Nyx

[lady-laureline]

I want to get to the bottom of neurodivergent burnout. I feel like there are a lot of people that have no context to take it seriously in, so they don't.

As with a lot of these posts, writing this is my way of ironing out my own understanding - take it with a grain of salt, I'm not a professional. I've tried to keep it general but as I'm speaking from a late-diagnosed audhd experience, it will lean in that direction.

Also, depending on how much you relate, this may warrant a mental health trigger warning? There's self-talk that isn't very kind.

×××

The precursor to burnout is survival mode: a state in which the body doesn't allow itself to fully enter a state of rest, as it is perceived to be "unsafe" by the nervous system. Neurodivergent symptoms aren't always a cause for stress in and of themselves, but people displaying them quickly learn that symptomatic behaviour rubs others the wrong way, even if they lack the intuition to see why.

☁️ People don't like the way I behave.

×

This is compounded by miscommunication.

Say a divergent child says something that sounds neutral to them, but rude to everyone else. They might get reprimanded for hurting someone's feelings, but they don't see how what they said was hurtful. Say this child's requests for an explanation are seen as insolence instead of curiosity.

The adults might come away thinking the child needs more discipline. The child might come away knowing they did something wrong, but unsure as to what that was or how to avoid it in the future.

☁️ I can't trust myself to say good things, even if my intentions are good. If I say a bad thing, it's my fault even if I don't know why it's bad.

×

The more these situations crop up, the more the emotional takeaway morphs into low self-esteem and constant vigilance (to catch mistakes before they happen). As the child grows older and responsibilities increase, they are also faced with a more nuanced picture of society that they're already lagging behind - demanding more nuanced masking, which is already a separate workload - on top of battling those good old sensory issues.

To those who don't know what the fuss is about: you know when you have a fever and your skin is super sensitive? If you separate the tingliness from the discomfort, and then apply that discomfort to the rest of your senses, you'll get a pretty good idea of what sensory overwhelm is like. We don't all experience this the same way (for example, I'm generally fine with food textures but really sensitive to noise) or with the same frequency, but it tends to be both unpleasant and consistent.

These additional energy drains inevitably lead to feeling the effects of hard work without anywhere near the same results of our peers. The easiest explanation, and the assumption most uninformed make, is one of personal shortcomings. Laziness. Selfishness. A "bad attitude".

☁️ No matter how hard I try, it is not enough. I haven't earned my pain. I haven't earned my rest.

×

It's a frustrating experience, and all those feelings need to go somewhere. We learn skills such as silent crying to hide our "overreactions"; we use our anxiety as a driving force for productivity. Many disabled people have the dissociative method down pat. And then there's the assertive emotions.

Displaying anger out of bounds of the neurotypical context is a whole other kettle of fish. When the nervous system is cortisol city, things will boil over eventually. Any witness is likely to be unaware of the extent of the stressors that led up to this outburst, so it can seem to happen out of the blue. Plus, if the inciting incident appears insignificant to the onlooker, they'll probably think it's all a bit childish.

Say what you will about neurospicy social skills but we have a killer radar for cringe. Raise your hand if you smush down irritation on the regular. Better yet, raise your hand if you "never get angry".

☁️ My frustration is misplaced and out of proportion. If I show it, I lose the respect of people I care about.

×

Maybe we've been afraid to feel what we feel our whole lives, but there comes a point where something's got to give. We might even be making a conscious effort to get in touch with our emotions after years and years of ripping them down and sealing them away. It's a Pandora's box situation: once the seal is broken, there's no getting the horrors back inside.

That's usually the beginning of what is widely recognised as burnout. There is so much to sort through, life effectively gets put on hold, at least for those of us lucky enough not to crash and burn the moment we let go of the wheel.

Recovery isn't a matter of a little vacation time: it can take months or years, and it may not look like work but it very much is. The trauma runs deep and we have no choice but to get to the bottom of the trench if we don't want to be stuck in a permanent state of exhaustion. It can be isolating as there's not a lot of energy left for much else - overextend and your body will slap you back in line so fast your head will spin. And no, you do not get to choose what overextending yourself entails.

To anyone actually going through this, try not to keep yourself in check, at least when you're alone. Your psyche does not want to pretend anymore. Pretending has repercussions now.

×

It may come as a surprise that a lot of people don't take kindly to healing. A person in burnout recovery is (by necessity) less accessible, more self-centered, taking up more space and drawing new boundaries. Unmasking may reveal a person your friends don't understand like the contorted version of yourself they got to know. Furthermore - change, when seen as a threat, can cause people to lash out.

☁️ Healing is a punishable offense. It hurts those around me. They don't want me as I am, but they don't want me to change, either.

One of the things I've had difficulty accepting is that there are good, caring people in my life that don't deserve an explanation of what I'm going through. They might have a space in their hearts for the person they think that I am, but the capacity to truly get to know me isn't there, at least yet.

Once I'd been burned enough times, I made a decision to settle for nothing less than sincere interest as a prerequisite for any attempt to make myself understood. From there, it wasn't not far to the bittersweet realisation that the only person's permission I need to grow is my own.

×

I'm not sure how to wrap this up, which might mean future edits (there are always more edits), but the thought is complete enough to post.

I suppose there is no end to becoming one's own person, and even though the line between recovery and living can be blurry a lot of the time, existing with purpose is a decision each of us has to make.

I'm sending a telepathic hug to anyone who needs one right now. Take care of yourselves.

×××

The self-talk of some weird kid:

"People don't like the way I behave. I can't trust myself to say good things, even if my intentions are good. If I say a bad thing, it's my fault even if I don't know why it's bad. No matter how hard I try, it is not enough. I haven't earned my pain. I haven't earned my rest. My frustration is misplaced and out of proportion. If I show it, I lose the respect of people I care about. Healing is a punishable offense. It hurts those around me. They don't want me as I am, but they don't want me to change, either."

(I've included this depressing subconscious narrative because I think it's important to show how little unresolved rejections add up over time. One can put on a dazzling performance to meet social demands while believing all of that, and we desperately need community support that is informed and equipped to help them pick up the pieces once the show falls apart.)

[greenbirdtrash]

Things about being an autistic adult that i'm not usually talking about, pt.1

1. Sometimes I'm really struggling with maintaining even the basic body needs, and it only gets worse because i don't really feel hunger, minor physical discomfort or thirst until it's too late, which usually ends up with me being totally exhausted and getting mad at everything for no reason. Same goes with overeating and feeling sick after that - i usually can't tell when i'm full and trying to eat in small portions to prevent that

2. My masking mechanism is mirroring other people, and i found this out not so long ago.

If we started to communicate on a regular basis, over time i can "adopt" a part of your personality and some behaviour traits without processing a single thought. I'm not even noticing that unless someone points this out. This changes from one friend circle to another. Unless we're really close with each other, it's not really my "personality", it's actually yours/someone else's from the same friend group. It IS annoying for some people, but i can't really do much with it

3. Sound sensitivity. I can't "filter" the background noises, and i can hear even the soft high-pitched sounds made by phone chargers/light bulbs. At the same time, i have troubles processing speech in the loud environment, i twitch from VERY loud and sudden sounds and my eyes are just starting to get wet for no reason after that (Usually i'm good at hiding that or just blame it on the bright lights if anyone asks me). I hate it even when there's two or more people talking at the same time, i have to put myself together to get what they're trying to say if they're even talking to me. It's really hard to concentrate on it

4. Navigation and visiting new places.

I'm very good at following any routes i already know, and i prefer to take them even if there is shorter/easier ones....well, if i never was there before. I can't just pick a new route or enter a new grocery store/hospital/post office/anything else for the first time if i'm alone.I remember a day when i was still studying, and i stood outside the professor's office (at the exact same day when i had to deal with some problems with my documents) for approximately 1 hour before someone opened the door and asked if i need something

I just get something like a brain block which doesn't allow me to do something, and i can even start to panic because i'm out of my "well-known comfort zone". I often need a person who can guide me somewhere, and then i have no problems with doing it myself. You don't have to follow me everywhere, but i truly appreciate it when you help me with that.

5. Couple of years ago I also had huge troubles with just answering the phone (i still prefer text over calls, all my friends know that, but seeing my phone vibrating with a call from unknown number still gives me a bit of anxiety), because when i'm stressed, i can go completely non-verbal.

Why? I just have a feeling that sudden call means "something bad happened", and if i don't pick up, i can somehow ignore the imaginery bad stuff and it won't happen to me

Somehow i managed to deal with that with lots of practice with my therapist when i had to make my own appointments, and eventually i kinda gaslighted myself into believing that it's not much different than voice chats with my friends. Now i can at least make an important call and don't feel very exhausted after it

[dogerthefennec]

This isn't normally something that I would post, but this is really important and I feel like I should post it anyways. This will cover a lot more personal shit that I've been going through, so please keep that in mind while reading.

For the longest time I've had major self esteem problems and a huge fear of refusing to tell anybody what was wrong. It only got worse once puberty hit me and I just started realizing how fucked up I am. It wasn't until I was 13/14 that I sorta came out as non-binary to my parents, they supported me and nothing else really changed. Once I turned 15, it seemed to only get worse as I had started questioning if I had depression, anxiety, and ADHD, but my parents passed it off as stress. I did too at first, but it only got worse.

I would always go to my closest friends for anything mental health related, even then it was barely anything, and they suggested I tell my parents and consider therapy. At first I didn't even want to consider it due to my dad's short fuse (and constant lectures and anger lashing out when I would stay frozen and silent for too long) and I would only barely bring this kind of stuff up with my mom. It wasn't until the day before winter break during 2022 that I couldn't hold back my thoughts anymore. I wrote down a note to my parents about what I've been going through. I eventually broke down during my third period and my teacher sent me to the counselor.

We eventually had my parents stop by and I showed them the note sobbing. They took me home as I knew I wouldn't make it through the rest of the day. They found a therapist for me and we didn't have too many sessions, and that was a massive mistake on my part. My mental health kept declining overtime, even with starting medication.

Fast forward to today. I'm now 17 and my mental health is at its lowest, meds aren't working anymore either. School was really busy so far and I was burnt out and mentally exhausted. I came home hanging by a thread, trying to not let the noises get to me (noise sensitivity is great...) and it wasn't until I briefly brought up my body disphoria with my mom that I broke. I told them everything. My depression, my disphoria, everything that I was too scared to tell them.

I am finally safe to be who I am around them. Both parents love me for who I am. I al finally comfortable with dealing with my fucked mental health. I am so happy to be who I am and with the people I support.

[bunnybluez]

WOAH, you're also level 2??? i'm not professionally diagnosed with a level myself (i was diagnosed at 11 at around 2007, way before levels were established, with autism, pddnos, and "asperger's disorder" at various times), and i believe my level of social and repetitive behavior disability would qualify as level 2 (with my verbal and communicative sharing qualifying potentially for level 3 in an extroverted version because as you can see i literally do not understand what are proper boundaries to share with strangers aside from the obvious stuff like sexual things most of the time, and with everything except for schedules and sensory sensitivities being level 2, with schedules being level 3 and sensory sensitivities being level 1 because 1.) therapy helped me tolerate loud noises better and i don't scream as often as frequently at loud noises anymore, i can tolerate more textures though i still struggle, and i am in fact heavily sensory seeking --- i like touching different types of textures from tables to walls to fuzzy things to goo, and i like listening to music with weird amounts of textures which is why uk bass, hyperpop, glitch pop, glitchcore, and other music like that is VERY sensorily satisfying to our system) but i can't get a re-evaluation for my autism levels specifically because it'd be a burden on my mom's finances. all i know is that because i'm probably level 2 middle support needs, i can't attend in person classes because of my extent of my disability even part time, have to attend classes even with subjects i'm good at part time because more than one assignment at once stresses me out so bad i regress to a level 2.5 or 3 but hyperverbal type state, and i am...not trusted with most household appliances or even food (both because i'll gorge myself on anything tasty and edible, and because i have a tendency to either make a mess at the lightest or almost cause a house fire at the worst)

so yeah! i'm glad someone actually diagnosed level 2 can relate because...it makes me feel like i'm on the right direction with my diagnosis

im not offically diagnosed with level 2 actually my country has no where that uses levels so im not able to be assessed even if i wanted to, im just diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.

my level also self assessed but ive had input from my gp, mama (carer) and therapist who agree i fall under level 2 because ive never had any idea how social interactions work, im an extrovert and would talk to strangers the same way i would with friends (tho i never had many in the first place, apparently other kids were scared of me) i make better friends online because irl its so stressful to try be aware of others, i used to be able to mask but i burntout and now im back at having very little awareness of others social cues like body language, facial expressions, tone or even like implied meaning to words idk how that works i never have. even when i masked my autism was extremely obvious but since im (hyper)verbal with a high iq (top 19%) i wasnt noticed as autistic until i was 12 then diagnosed at 16.

i cant go to school either, i can do online schooling okay since its all done in my pace and its subjects i really enjoy (psychology is my special interest and what im studying but i also wanna study biology or medicine, also spIns) i cant clean or cook, i do have chronic illness that stops me but even if i didnt that stuff would be extremely overwhelming, i could cook maybe once every few days and i can make basic stuff like instant noodles n cup snacks. my mama has to pick my clothes out and tie my shoes because idk whats appropriate or not to wear, id wear pyjamas everywhere and change clothes like once a week if i wasnt told to.

[cloverslovelygarden]

1. I have chronic migraines, irregular menstrual issues and hyperacusis. (All obviously physical)

2. The menstrual stuff has gone on since I got my first one and the chronic migraines happened about 4 years ago, hyperacusis is new to me though as it has only been here for half a year!

3. I dont really have any specific meds yet but I use regular painkillers like Nexproxin and Ibuprofen. (When a migraine is present I use maxalt.)

4. Alot of my friends and family have mental disabilities but I think I only know maybe one other person who had migraines like me in my family and she only had hers once a year. (So not really many like mine.)

5. Yes, I do. If my menstrual issues are acting up really bad then I will get a migraine (which is usually) but it doesn't happen vice versa. My hyperacusis can cause very bad migraines and a slight headache can cause my hyperacusis to become just the slightest bit more sensitive which gives me a bigger headache.

6. Almost nothing but there is a very slim chance that when you tell people they will be incredibly aware of it and make sure they don't to anything to make it worse/happen.

7. Honestly I wish people talked about how common disabilities are and also how its not something to be afraid of. Whether it be mental or physical its a challenge nonetheless and your should talk to a doctor or a trusted loved one about it. I also wish educators would talk about periods more. Especially menstrual isses or irregularities.

8. I dont think they affect my gender or sexuality but they definitely effect my hobbies. I cant do sports because I always get a headache from the heat and end up throwing up and Ive even stopping some of my more complex hobbies like candle making because of the stress and low energy from my migraines.

9. I usually say juice or just energy. Like for example, "My juices are running low, I need to lay down."

10. I talked to my doctor and she understood and wrote me a note for all of my classes of something along the lines of, "They need to drink lots of water so make sure they get extra bathroom passes if needed. When having a migraine take student into a dark, quiet room until migraine it dampened or gone." and she even used the exactly words, "Sometimes absences are inevitable." Which was really cool. I also use earbuds or noise cancelling headphones when I have bad noise sensitivity and sometimes and ice pack or cold wet rag for my head to help.

11. The need for quiteness /j but on a real note probably the ban on noise canceling headphones in school to be lifted. I know people who just like to use them that don't have the common sense to take them off when instructed which is taking some resources away from disabled people which is incredibly annoying.

12. A lot of people don't know that my migraines can cause excessive dizziness or tiredness so they don't understand why I can't do anything with a migraine "just because your head hurts."

13. Its a strong tie between, "Well you don't look sick." and "Well youre speaking okay, you don't sound bad." (Its not being sick Karen, I'm not going to have a raspy voice from a headache, also I've dealt with migraine long enough to look my lowest constantly.)

14. No, actually. I've had almost no moments where I've thought, "I have the same struggles as you!" or "I can relate to you because we go through some of the same things." (I mean my OBGYN totally understood my problems but I do not know her very well so I didn't really see it as a community moment.)

15. What disability pride month means to me is being able to talk about my disabilities and share with others so that other people could possibly get the help they need. I like sharing my stories to bring light onto hardly talked about situations like menstrual irregularities in children and teens and how to help someone with a migraine or dizzy spell. It also allows me to show how I can talk about disabilities without feeling embarrassed or alienated so it gives confidence to others who may feel strange to talk about them.

16. Happy disability pride month, drink lots of water or re-hydrating sports drink. Eat balanced meals if you can and do not feel forced to eat 3 meals a day if you feel like you cant eat but don't starve yourself either!! And also tell people about disability pride month, spread the word and share your stories!!!

disability pride ask game

I'm so sleepy but I have persisted anyway bc i am so brave

feel free to reblog, try and send an ask to the person you're reblogging from so the game doesn't die, and absolutely never be pressured to answer anything that feels too personal--this is about/inspiration for what you Want to share about disability and experiences being disabled, not what you feel like you have to! (also: this ask game is PRO SELF DX.)

what disability/ies do you have? (and are they mental, physical, or both?)

how long have you known you're disabled? does that match up with diagnosis?

what, if any, disability aids do you use? (mobility aids, sensory aids, braces, communicative devices, IVs, etc. meds also count here). do you customize them/their containers/outsides?

do you know any disabled people irl? what about online?

if you have multiple disabilities: do they affect each other? how?

what's something good that's come out of being disabled?

what's a struggle you wish more people talked about?

does your disability affect how you experience other parts of your identity? (gender, queerness, culture, even hobbies/life goals you're very passionate about)

how do you measure your energy? (spoons, battery, something else?)

whats something youve come up with or integrated into your life that makes disability easier, besides typical aids?

how would you label your support needs?

what's something (a struggle, a symptom, a weird phenomenon, or even a funny experience) people don't realize about your disability?

whats the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?

has there ever been a time where you felt solidarity/community with another disabled person in a situation with you?

what does disability pride mean to you?

free space to talk about whatever disability issue or experience you want !

[magical-bees]

Look at me! Look at me dont look at the clock, look at me! Everytime you look at the clock I think you dont care, I think you hate me! Stop looking at the clock and look at me!

I was in third grade when a teacher screamed that in my face. I had been pulled from the middle of my class and brought to a separate room. I was scared and confused and just wanted to go back to class with the other kids, but that was not the first time it happened, once a week for multiple years I had been pulled out of the class for “special classes”.

I'm autistic, I was diagnosed sometime around the end of second and beginning of third grade , these “classes” or “therapy” as they called it where supposed to “fix” my autism, or at least suppress it. In these classes I’d do practice conversation with a teacher and read books out loud to learn how to be“normal”. 

The books I read gave me lessons about how there are secret rules that no one talks about that everyone but me was born knowing, don’t fidget, don't break eye contact, don’t speak loud, if you aren’t paying extreme attention to everything you do or say, if you brake one the the hundred secret rules, everyone will immediately think your weird and hate you!

How were my parents, how was I  surprised when years later I needed to start therapy? Think about that, I needed therapy to get over a different therapy! In my schools effort to make me normal, they messed so much more.  My schools approach to dealing with autism was to suppress any possible symptoms, to try to force me to permanently mask. 

“Masking” is when an autistic person suppresses stimming actions, hides special interests, mimics social behaviors of those around them, and suppresses any behaviors that may be seen as weird to those around them. While this may seem like it have little to no negative consequences, the overuse of masking has been shown to lead to increased anxiety and depression, and lead to breakdowns. Along with this masking often involves hiding self regulation behaviors or “stimming” as its more commonly refers to that help regulate emotions in new or stressful situations. 

Masking also hides sensitivity to certain stimuli. I have sensitivities to loud noises, some forms of intense lighting, and setting physical sensations like the feelings of oily or sliminess. Being around these stimulants, especially in crowded places, can lead to sensory overload, when my brain feels too overloaded with sensory inputs and can cause lack of focus, spikes in anxiety that lead to flight, fight, or freeze responses, or shut downs. Having to hide my sensitivity to these inputs and not learning how to live with them has made life much harder. I was never taught how to regulate these symptoms, only to hide them, when I finally learned to accept these things and start to plan around them, such as bringing earbuds with me when I leave the house to help muffle noise, or having gloves with me when I work with certain materials, my life got so much easier.

As I’ve talked about my experiences you may have been thinking that I don't look or act autistic, and to that I have to ask what do YOU think an autistic person is supposed to be? For many people when the phrase “high functioning autistic person” is said a young boy comes to mine who likes trains and is bad at communicating, this is for 2 major reasons, the research on autism that is most widely available and the representation in popular culture. The first person diagnosed with autism was Donald Triplett, who was diagnosed in 1943 when he was around 10 years old and died only a few month ago, on June 15 2023. I want to you to really think about that, the first officially diagnosed person died only a few moths ago, that is how new the field of research on autism is! Most of the research until quite recently on autism was done on young, upper middle class, white males. That is a very narrow demographic to studies someone as wide ranging and unique as autism.

That brings me to the second reason for the popular stereotypes about autism, representation in pop culture. What I’m about to say must of course be taken with a grain of salt, I have high functioning autism, I can care for myself and most of my problems are about writing and socialization, this may be different for people of different areas of the spectrum or have had different life experiences. For many neurotypical people when autism in media is brought up Sheldon Cooper is the first to come to mind, an abrasive, detailed oriented man, who has a few special interests, and has various problems with social interactions, he is a character meant to be laughed at. And the wild thing, he was not supposed to be autistic! When he was first written the writer's goal was to make an unlikable character and they grabbed many of the traits associated with autistic people and turned them up to 11.

Good representation of autistic individuals while slowly increasing is rare, but so very important. I will forever remember watching the show community for the first time and seeing Abed Nadir. Abed was one of the first good depictions of autism I had seen on television. Abed is treated with respect by the show, is autism is depicted realistically and it’s not his entire personality, he’s creative, smart, and despite him misunderstanding some social situations he has friends who care and except him, he’s depicted as a full person who is worthy of love and a full live without needing to be “fixed”. Seeing an adult who I related to who was about to do so much and was depicted with so much respect was so important for young me. It showed a future where I could have friends who didn’t need me to conform to certain standards and I’m able to do what I loved.

Autism is a wide ranging subject and effects every person who experiences it different, so why is it only treated one way? Why are characters depicted in only one way, why is research only based on one group of people? Why are children taught to only act one way and suppress it instead of learning to live with it? Autism is not one size fits all and it needs to stop being treated that way, the systems in place for people who have it need to change

[beckyg1016]

So, I thought the Brave Thing was disclosing my Autism at work for the first time and being willing to talk about it with others. And I guess that was a brave thing - it was scary and I did it.

But, turns out THE brave thing is actually being vulnerable when I'm not okay - when it's more than just "loud noises startle me" - when it's the dysregulation of rapid-fire change and deadlines I wasn't expecting.

I've worked so hard to be the person who gets things done. Need it done on time? Give it to Becky. Need it done right the first time? Give it to Becky. Did someone else do it wrong and now it needs fixed? Give it to Becky. But the last few weeks it's been too much, too fast, for too many days in a row and I've finally let my boss know that I'm struggling - not "hey, this is a lot of work and I'm feeling stressed" (which is what I would have said before) but "hey, this level of change, so quickly, is really hard for me to process and it's put me in a bad place mentally. I'm on edge and overwhelmed and I might be extra-sensitive to everything for a while because I have no time to transition or decompress"

And as hard as it was to say it, it's just as hard to sit here and wonder if all the work I've done to prove myself, all the advocating for normalizing asking for help/accommodations...is it all just talk and they'll stop seeing me as someone who is capable of doing the job at a level of high quality and start seeing me as "the person who can't do the job as well as we thought - she just can't keep up with the pace of corporate work".

That last paragraph is 100% the fear that kept me from disclosing at any previous job. So, I've named it. And it's either my brain lying to me about my self-worth (a thing it does - hello Depression, you bastard), or childhood trauma rearing its ugly head, or a serious concern and I've just F'ed up my work relationships and career advancement prospects. Guess we'll wait and see.