#Aren’t they technically McDucks

[scrooges-greasy-toes]

May and June witnessing their “Mom” being murdered will never be unpacked in DT17 canon and I think that should be considered a crime and that everyone at Disney should be arrested for it.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Seto Kaiba

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Every good anime revolving around a game, sport, or competition needs a great rival to antagonize the main character. A rival is a character who helps push the protagonist to their limits, and forces them to apply what they’ve learned in order to beat them. Now, a rival like that typically isn’t someone who is going to get a Psycho Analysis, as most rivals are just garden-variety jerks at worst. For instance, Gary Oak is a bit of a snot, but he’s literally a child and he turns things around and becomes a decent guy relatively quick. Or hell, look at Miles Edgeworth; he spends most of the first Ace Attorney butting heads with Phoenix Wright in court, but he’s pretty quickly shown to be far more concerned with finding the absolute truth than any truly nefarious purpose. Ultimately, most rivals end up being genuinely decent people who just take competition a little too seriously and eventually develop into staunch friends and allies.

But imagine a rival who never changes. A rival dead set on being the most antagonistic douchebag possible, one who is driven solely by the sheer spite and hatred they feel at being second banana to someone else, someone who can’t bear that their massive ego is even slightly bruised. A rival who may help when the chips are on the table, but who is only doing so for their own selfish and self-centered reasons. That’s a character I could reasonably review on Psycho Analysis! And if ever there was a character who fits that bill, it’s Seto freaking Kaiba.

Now, to be clear here, Kaiba isn’t a villain. He’s an antagonist, he’s an anti-hero, but for about 99% of his screentime he’s not technically a villain. But just because the series is called Psycho Analysis doesn’t mean I’m literally only reviewng psychos, and it’s about time I broke out a bit and experimented in this new year by looking at characters who aren’t totally evil, but maybe are a little bit. And as you’ll soon see, no one is a better choice to break the mold than the second best duelist in Domino City.

Motivation/Goals: To put it simply, everything Kaiba does is motivated by his ego or by spite. This is a man who has done genuinely great things, from dismantling his father’s bloodthirsty legacy of profiting off of war to opening theme parks and creating new technology to make Duel Monsters more fun and engaging for all players. All of this on paper makes him look like the most ethical animated billionaire this side of Scrooge McDuck, but there’s one little issue: Nothing he does is out of the goodness of his heart.

Do you think Kaiba actually gives a shit about anyone affected by his father’s business? No, he just dismantled it out of sheer hatred for his adopted father who, to be fair, really was a massive cunt. Do you think he went through all the trouble to make massive strides in Duel Monsters technology just so people could have fun? No, he did it all so he could exploit it in some way to defeat Yugi once and for all.

And that’s one of the biggest things that drives Kaiba: His unquenchable desire to defeat Yugi and be crowned the true king of games. The thing is, every time they have a fair fight, Kaiba gets his ass handed to him; the one time he won was by essentially threatening Yugi with suicide. His sheer petty desire to one-up Yugi extends far into the future, where he names the loser dork house of the academy in GX after Yugi’s Egyptian God card Slifer, while the ultra-cool prestigious house is named after the God he got, Obelisk. And in one possible end of his story, he goes to the most insane and ultimate extreme to try and settle his grudge (but more on that shortly).

Performance: In English, there are two main voice actors of note who have portrayed Kaiba. The first is Eric Staurt, who outside of Kaiba is best known for his Pokemon roles of Brock and James. It leads to a bit of whiplash hearing someone who sounds so similar to the affable yet horny Brock be an absolute arrogant prick, but I definitely think Stuart is able to pull it off.

The other VA of note is Martin “Littlekuriboh” Billany, creator of Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series and the man who voices about 90% of that gag dub’s cast. His take on Kaiba is pretty much what happens if you cross Stuart’s performance with Solid Snake, and it works very well for a Kaiba who’s weirder and wackier yet somehow even more insanely egotistical.

Final Fate: Kaiba, seeing as he’s just a douchebag and not a truly evil person, doesn’t get any sort of major comeuppance save for constantly getting his ass handed to him by Yugi. There are really two possible endings for him, though if you want to be charitable they’re not necessarily mutually exclusive. The first ending is, of course, that he eventually goes on to found the Duel Academy, which means he helps kickstart the events of Yu-Gi-Oh GX in a way. Anyone even partly responsible for the rise of bisexual monsterfucker king Jaden Yuki is getting high marks in my book.

But the much more notable ending for Kaiba comes from Dark Side of Dimensions where, so consumed by his desire to duel Atem one more time despite the pharaoh finally being at rest, he leaves his company in the hands of Mokuba and goes to the fucking afterlife to challenge him. Whatever way you want to read it—that he actually used science to travel to the great beyond, that his tech killed him and he’s not coming back—Kaiba really cements his legacy as the most insane, obsessive rival ever created. If he still feels like he has something to prove by beating you, you ain’t getting your eternal rest; he will bust down the barriers of life and death to have a chance of whooping your ass. Absolute madman.

Evilness: So in this new segment, I’m going to establish how evil any given villain is and rate them on it, separate from how I rate them as a character overall. This score is basically just a reflection of how evil their actions are, with a 1 being “Barely a villain at all” and a 10 being a “Complete and utter monster.”

As we’ve already established a bit, Kaiba is more just an egotistical asshole than anything. In his early appearances in the manga you could definitely say Kaiba was a villain, and his first appearance as the starter villain of the anime definitely paint him as a dick… but after his mind crush, he definitely veers more into anti-hero territory for the rest of the series.

Normally, this would net him a solid 1, but that’s the thing. Despite the fact Kaiba frequently does genuinely good and helpful things and despite constantly aiding the heroes, he only ever does it because he feels like he has something to prove. For instance, look at his handling of the Big Five as he dismantled his father’s legacy; do you think he tore down the military dealings KaibaCorp dealt in out of the goodness of his heart? No, Kaiba did all that out of sheer hatred and spite, negative emotions that motivate just about everything he does no matter how nice it seems. Even if he isn’t actually evil by any stretch and even though he’s undoubtedly bettering the world with what he does, he’s doing it for impure reasons that mainly revolve around reasserting his own superiority. The only genuinely selfless things he does are for the benefit of his beloved brother Mokuba.

So for the first ever Evilness Score, I think Kaiba is going to score a 2/10, which denotes being a huge dick but not neccesarily evil. He’s not actually evil enough to warrant anything higher, but he’s too big of an asshole to get a 1.

Best Scene/Quote: Abridged!Kaiba gave the world “Screw the rules, I have money,” a line that perfectly summarizes a good chunk of Kaiba’s character in both the main and the abridged version of the show. But his best quote (and his very best scene) come during his duel with Ishizu in Battle City, where he decides to give fate the middle finger and beat Miss Ishtar despite her clairvoyance while giving her the following speech (in the dub):

“Hear me now! I won't be controlled! I decide my future! So now, I sacrifice my monsters! Obelisk and Gadget Solider, I send you to the card graveyard! You're so quiet, Ishizu. Where's your magic now? Or have you realized that there's no such thing as destiny? Now observe as I summon my Blue-Eyes! Show yourself!”

And more than anything, this sums up Kaiba: He has the most massive ego in history, the strength and cunning to back that ego up, and a steadfast and stubborn refusal of destiny. He plays by his own rules and follows his own path, and nothing will stand in his way. Not Egyptian gods, not prophecies, not magic or shadow games or what have you. He is unstoppable, implacable, and he won’t be denied that duel with Yugi no matter what anyone says. Not even the barrier of life and death can stop him.

Final Thoughts & Score: Unsurprisingly, as someone who grew up with Yu-Gi-Oh, I fucking love Kaiba.

Going into this, I knew he wasn’t going to be a straight example of a villain, because his evil is mostly relegated to the early parts of the manga and the start of the show, with his post-Mind Crush self being more of an anti-heroic jerkass with a heart of gold. But I think he’s just enough of an asshole to be worth talking about, and talking about antagonistic jerks opens the door to talk about characters like Toy Story’s Sid or the more hostile Pokemon rivals like Silver, Blue, and Bede here. It would have to be Kaiba blazing that trail, though; there’s no jerk more perfect to open the door to discussion of other jerks.

Kaiba is just genuinely fascinating in that, despite being incredibly static as a character, he never really feels shallow. Sure, he steadfastly refuses to change and never really becomes on the best terms with the Yugi squad, but his interactions with them are still fun to watch and he never gets flanderized to the point of being obnoxious. It’s honestly extremely impressive they were able to walk that tightrope of him never really progressing past being an asshole while still remaining a fun, likable character who it’s fun to see in action. I suppose it helps they gave him the most ludicrously badass backstory where he as a plucky little orphan boy manages to beat a businessman in chess to get adopted, fleeces him out of his entire fortune and company, and then dismantles said company’s military division to focus on gaming. And if that’s not enough, they have him do stuff like throw trading cards to jam guns!

Of course, his most appealing aspect is his single-minded obsession with defeating Yugi and proving himself as the superior duelist, a character trait for which there is quite simply no heterosexual explanation for (I’m half kidding). With most rivals, they don’t really get so consumed by their desire to defeat their opponent that they essentially kill themselves just to get another chance at beating them, but most rivals ain’t Kaiba! Really, I think the only rival I’ve seen who’s close to being on his level is Vegeta. Once again, they found a nice balance, keeping Kaiba from being too obnoxious even with his single-minded obsession with one-upping Yugi.

Kaiba is really a character who so easily could have been obnoxious or insufferable, but instead he quite honestly stole the show. Yes, Yugi and Atem’s trials and tribulations are crucial and all, but seeing the insane lengths Kaiba goes to ensure he gets another chance to summon his Blue-Eyes against Yugi’s Dark Magician is just a blast. You’re always wondering what insane rich guy nonsense the man is going to pull off next, and he rarely disappoints. Kaiba may not be evil, he may merely be an antagonistic rival, but I think he still deserves a 10/10 for being the egomaniacal asshole opponent every arch-rival should aspire to be.

[scottpetersen]

DuckTales The Inter-Dimensional Swap Fanfic Chapter 2

Scrooge McDuck (2017) POV:

I wasted no time in trying to find a way home.

But that’s starting to look much harder than I thought.

I asked this world’s Gyro Gearloose if he can find a way to send me and my counterpart back to our home dimensions.

But after giving me a brief lecture about String Theory, he told me that according to his instruments, whatever sent me here is keeping my “quantum strings” fixed onto this world meaning nothing can reverse it besides what caused it in the first place.

Speaking of Gyro, I’m not getting anywhere near as much pompous mad scientist vibes from this world’s version of him as I did from the one back home.

In fact, everyone here is a bit different than the versions of them I know. There’s no version of Della in this world! The Donald here is usually away working at the navy. The Huey, Dewey and Louie have completely identical personalities and the only thing that helps me tell them apart is that they’re color-coded. The Beakley here doesn’t seem like the fighting sort. And neither does this world’s Webby.

And while I’m on the subject, I asked this world’s Beakley what things are like between the Webby here and my counterpart.

She told me about how this world’s version of my daughter likes to mimic me from time to time like how she copied my counterpart’s attitude on a phone call. It reminded me of how my Webby read my biography and perfectly mimicked the way I drink my tea.

This world’s Beakley also told me about how this world’s version of me makes sure to correct himself when it seems like his more negative quirks are starting to rub off on this world’s Webby.

So, I guess this world’s version of my daughter has at least a small bit in common with my world’s version of her and our counterparts in this world do have at least somewhat of a father/daughter relationship.

I also decided to teach this world’s Webby a thing or 2 about horse back riding. She didn’t seem to be the fighting or athletic sort. So, I figured teaching her how to ride a horse would be the next best thing.

I did actually enjoy it all a bit and this Webby does indeed remind me of my Webby.

But it just did not feel the same.

This Webby asked me why I called her my daughter earlier.

I then told her everything about our relationship back home and my world’s Webby turning out to be a clone made from my DNA which technically made her my biological daughter.

“Wait. If Ms. Beakley is the other me’s grandma and you’re the other me’s dad, wouldn’t that make my grandma your mom?” this world’s Webby asked me while I was explaining.

I almost fell out of my chair at that thought.

“Um…well…I never exactly thought of it like that. But…” I started to say but stopped myself not sure what to think of that idea. “How about we just move on with what I was saying?”

“Ok.” this world’s Webby replied.

After I finished explaining the story to her, she all too enthusiastically asked if that could be the case here too.

I wasn’t sure about that. And I also didn’t want to keep the truth from her since keeping what happened to my niece a secret from my family almost tore us apart and Beakley keeping where she found her a secret from Webby almost broke her heart.

So, I asked this world’s Gyro to do a DNA test to see if me and Webby’s counterparts could be related here too.

And the test indicated that they actually aren’t.

When I saw this Webby deeply saddened by the news, I went over and gave her a hug.

The whole ordeal made me feel all kinds of horrible and uncomfortable in more ways than one. But I was still able to give this Webby a sympathetic speech about how even if she and my counterpart aren’t genetically related, they’re still family and they can still be father and daughter.

That did make this Webby feel a bit better. But I still saw tears in her eyes.

For once in my life, I actually fled from the situation.

I took a dip in my counterpart’s money bin to calm myself down.

But even my money bin didn’t feel the same as back home.

Ugh. All the more reason to find a way home and see my world’s version of my family again!

Then, something else just crossed my mind.

There is one thing that would be powerful enough to put me and my counterpart in this situation: the Papyrus Of Binding.

I went and did some research to see if there is a version of it in this world.

But if there seems to be very little record of it in this dimension. There isn’t even any record of its location. That might explain why my other self never seemed to search for it.

Another thing is that if it was used to send us to each other’s dimensions, that means that someone is behind this!

And that someone could be getting ready to attack me and my counterpart any moment now.

With that in mind, I realized that I may need some help to get the Papyrus Of Binding away from them.

I asked this world’s Duckworth about everyone my counterpart has met and one name stood out to me!

According to Duckworth, she doesn’t reside in Duckburg.

So, I asked this world’s Launchpad for a flight.

I made sure the reporters know that I’m going away to make sure whoever caused this doesn’t attack where most of my family’s counterparts are.

This world’s Launchpad and I crashed-landed in Klondike.

“Wait here. I’ll be back soon.” I told this world’s Launchpad.

“You got it, Mr. McD.” this world’s Launchpad replied.

With that, I started heading towards town and soon caught sight of the household I was looking for.

I sure hope this world’s version of her will help me.

-

Scrooge McDuck (1987) POV:

This world’s versions of the people I know are very different than the ones I’m familiar with.

The boys here are actually very different from each other unlike the ones back home. The Dewey here is reckless and silly. The Huey is very book-smart and heavily relies on the Junior Woodchuck Guidebook that all 3 of the boys back at my home relied on so much.

The Duckworth here apparently died and is now helping around the mansion as a ghost as I found out the hard way when he accidentally startled me.

The Ms. Beakley here is much more firm and strict than the one back home. And she’s also a very competent fighter. And apparently, she was also an agent of a spy organization called SHUSH.

The fact that this world’s Webby is actually my daughter caught me off-guard even more. I do love my world’s Webby and I do try to be a good example for her when it comes to how to interact with people. But I never actually thought of her as my daughter.

Speaking of this world’s Webby, while I was researching and studying all the artifacts and trinkets my other self had obtained over the decades, this world’s Webby called her friends for help on her “cellphone”. My family’s other selves told me that cellphones work just like telephones except they work wirelessly and can give you access to a vast array of information.

Anyway, 2 young girls soon arrived.

“Soooo…you’re the other Scrooge Webby talked to us about?” the duck in the black and gray stripe shirt asked.

“Yes I am.” I replied. “…And who are you 2?”

“I’m guessing there’s no versions of us back at your dimension either.” the hummingbird in the green shirt said.

Seems like this world’s Webby told them about there being no version of my other self’s niece back home.

“Apparently not.” I replied.

“Ok. Here’s the rundown…” the duck in the black and gray stripe shirt began.

The duck in the black and gray stripe shirt introduced herself as Lena and the hummingbird in the green shirt introduced herself as Violet.

And after they finished explaining just who they are, I was completely shocked by what I heard. Especially by Lena’s story.

I can’t believe that this world’s Magica De Spell had a niece. And that she used her as a way to get to me! I also can’t believe Magica made Lena suffer the way she did all because she wanted revenge on me!

And it was my fault for not helping Magica’s brother.

“Lena, I am so so sorr-” I was starting to say.

But Lena stopped me.

“Don’t. The other you already beat you to the punch after that trial he had with Louie.” Lena said. “Besides, he was getting ready to try to find my uncle wherever he was and turn him back to normal before I stopped him. I mean him and my aunt were already evil tyrants to begin with who turned people into mindless animals. So, they got what was coming to them.”

I nodded understanding her logic.

As for this Violet girl, she says she’s a magic enthusiast who has become dedicated to researching and learning everything she can about the supernatural. So, I believe that’s at least one of the reasons this world’s Webby invited her here. This also means she might actually be able to help me and my other self.

“With all that out of the way, I think we should get started.” Violet said with Webby and Lena nodding in agreement. “First, we have to pinpoint exactly what caused this inter-dimensional swap between you and your counterpart in order to better make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“Good idea.” Lena replied.

This world’s Webby nodded clearly agreeing as well.

They used a ritual on me with a crystal, a mirror, grains of sand and an arrowhead as the ingredients.

The ritual sent waves of magic into my body. It felt very strange. It was like every bit of my body was starting overflow with adrenaline.

Once it was done, a sphere of magic emerged from my chest and was beginning to move through the hallway.

“We have to follow it!” Violet said.

We followed the sphere until it eventually lead us to a hall which looks to be full of hundreds of chambers.

This world’s Webby previously told me this is the Other Bin and that it’s where my other self keeps all the magic artifacts he obtained over the decades.

And judging by the number of magic artifacts I was told were stored here, I’m betting my other self must’ve been named the explorer of all time.

The magic sphere lead us to one of the chambers.

When we entered, we noticed the magic sphere stop at a pile of ripped apart pieces of paper that looked magical.

“The Papyrus Of Binding caused this to happen?!” this world’s Webby exclaimed in disbelief.

“I’m guessing this is the thing you mentioned earlier that lead to the discovery that you were my other self’s biological daughter.” I said.

“Yes. It’s a magic paper that can make anything that is written on it come true. But it can’t be. It’s destroyed.” this world’s Webby said before pointing at the Papyrus. “Plus, it’s been stored here ever since FOWL was defeated.”

“Wait. Look at the way the sphere is reacting.” Violet said pointing at it.

We looked and we saw the sphere glowing bright yellow and it’s also fluctuating in a strange manner.

“I think that means that it was the Papyrus Of Binding from your world.” Violet said before looking at me. “That’s what caused our Scrooge to be switched with this one. And because of the Papyrus’ sheer power, it was probably able to bypass the dimensions’ different rules hence why this Scrooge’s head and eyes stayed the same even after making the trip here.”

“Ok. So, is there a way to get him and our Scrooge back home?” Lena asked.

“I’m afraid we’re gonna have to restore the Papyrus Of Binding from this world and use its power to cancel out its counterpart’s effect.” Violet said. “We might be to restore the Papyrus briefly but it will take time and an insane amount of magic power.”

“Looks like this is gonna take longer than we thought.” this world’s Webby said before turning to me. “You might need something to do in the meantime.”

“I’m afraid so.” someone said from behind us.

We all turned to see that it’s this world’s Ms. Beakley.

“Apparently, there’s a social gathering our Scrooge is supposed to attend very soon.” this world’s Ms. Beakley continued.

“Can you reschedule it, Grandma?” this world’s Webby asked.

“I’m afraid not. It’s happening in 2 hours.” this world’s Ms. Beakley said.

“So, I have to attend in my other self’s place.” I said knowing where this is going.

This world’s Ms. Beakley nodded.

“I’m sure I can handle it.” I assured this world’s Webby. “I’ve attended social gatherings before. This shouldn’t be hard.”

“Ok, other-dimension Scrooge.” this world’s Webby replied.

“But just to be sure, I’ll be accompanying you.” this world’s Ms. Beakley stated.

“Alright, Ms. Beakley.” I said in response.

2 Hours Later…

This world’s Ms. Beakley and I are at the social gathering.

This world’s Lena conjured a magic disguise for me that makes me look exactly like my other self. It also changed my voice to sound like his too. So, I won’t cause any suspicion from my other self’s enemies like Glomgold for example.

“Be sure not to wander off. Whoever caused this to happen in the first place could be planning an attack at any moment.” this world’s Ms. Beakley whispered.

“Ok, Ms. Beakley.” I said.

As I greeted the guests at the gathering, one walked up to me. An owl woman in a suit.

“Hello, Mr. McDuck.” she said.

This must be Zan Owlson, the mayor of St. Canard that this world’s Ms. Beakley told me about. I’ve never seen any version of her back home.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I replied briefly forgetting that her and this world’s version of me have met before.

I quickly realized my mistake and this world’s Ms. Beakley stepped on my foot glaring at me!

Zan Owlson raised an eyebrow at me.

She turned to this world’s Ms. Beakley and asked her, “Does your boss have some kind of amnesia?”

“No. He tends to have a hard time remembering his former employees.” this world’s Ms. Beakley lied with a calm demeanor.

Zan Owlson still looked a wee bit skeptical before shrugging it off and saying, “Well, be that as it may, I want to talk to Mr. McDuck about the charity drives in St. Canard.”

“Oh, yes…the charity drive.” I said very reluctant to spend what could be a lot of money.

“I know that you don’t like spending money, Mr. McDuck.” Zan Owlson said. “But I also know about your self-reliance philosophy. I’ll get straight to the point. The people this charity is for can rely on themselves and their own skills to get by in life. But only if they’re given the opportunity to do so. And do you really want all that self-reliance and hard work to go to waste before it even begins?”

I can see her point and it does, in a way, remind me of Mad Dog McGurk, a friend who was wrongly sent to jail for a crime he didn’t commit thanks to Flintheart Glomgold and was thus separated from his mother. We met when I myself was framed for stealing a painting by Glomgold. He was robbed of his opportunity to get by in life until I gave it back to him by pardoning him. So, I think I can do the same for those poor souls Zan Owlson is talking about. And since my other self also does believe in self-reliance, I’m sure that he would agree with Zan Owlson if he were in my position right now. So, this shouldn’t cause any suspicion.

So, I responded with, “Very well. I’ll be sure to invest the money those people need into the charity drive. But only what they need.”

“Ok. I’ll be sure to inform those people of the news.” Zan Owlson said beginning to walk away before stopping. “And just to be sure you go through with it, remember that this would look good for your public record.”

With that, Zan Owlson walked away.

Sighing in relief, I said, “That was close.”

“I think it’s best that you let me take the lead at the start of the conversation next time.” this world’s Ms. Beakley said.

“Agreed.” I replied.

As the social gathering continued, I kept on greeting the other guests until I caught sight of a woman at the top of a staircase.

The woman I’m seeing is a duck wearing a yellow dress and gold earrings. And she seems to have yellow (almost gold) looking hair.

She also seems to look incredibly familiar.

So, after making sure I was out of dodge of this world’s Ms. Beakley, I started making my way towards the mysterious woman.

-

Scrooge McDuck (2017) POV:

I was making my way to the household I was looking for and saw a shadowy silhouette of a woman with a shotgun.

“Who’s there?!” she shouted.

“It’s me. Scrooge.” I said.

“Scrooge?” she asked.

“Although not the one you know.” I said.

“You’re gonna have to be more clear if you’re gonna be making sense.” she said as she made her way out of the shadows.

If I’m gonna make it back home, I’m gonna need help from this world’s version of Goldie O’Gilt.

“Well, let me explain from the beginning…” I said starting to tell her about the situation me and my counterpart are in.

-

Scrooge McDuck (1987) POV:

I had to make it through an entire crowd of other guests in order to make my way up the staircase.

But when I made it up there, that woman was gone.

I was starting to think I wasn’t going to find her when someone tapped my shoulder.

I turned around to see who it is.

It’s that woman!

“Hello, Scroogey.” that woman said slyly.

All of a sudden, I realized who this woman is!

It’s this world’s Goldie O’Gilt!

Notes: Ok. I think I’ll be posting chapters of this fanfic on a weekly basis. The next chapter will come out next week and it will be in celebration of the 70th anniversary of Carl Barks’s story Back To The Klondike and the first appearance of Goldie O’Gilt. Credit belongs to @goldiejake11 for making that fact known to me in her HAPPY (ALMOST) 70TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE KLONDIKE QUEEN HERSELF - GLITTERING GOLDIE O’GILT post and also to @pick-and-shovel-laborer since I probably could never have found that post if they hadn’t reblogged it. Also, Happy 70th Anniversary to the first appearance of Goldie O’Gilt.

[delicate42]

I have this ideia for a s3 of DuckTales rewrite for some weeks now and I decided to share a summarised version of it.

So I was thinking how we could tie the Isabella, Bradford and Huey plot more nicely so what if Bradford gets transformed back into a kid and tricks everyone into getting the lost mysteries for some weird ritual to get Isabella back (she is already dead but since most people don’t know what happened to her in her last adventure they believe in him) and at mcduck enterprises it takes some time to notice that Bradford disappeared because Bentley and Buford are doing the paperwork (through kid Bradford’s orders), on the other hand FOWL would still be in the race for the treasures even if they aren’t successful collecting the treasures because kid Brad plan is working and is making the family believe they’re winning. Huey would give more attention to Bradford because he’s technically the blueprint for the woodchucks so he wants to know and learn more about it, Brad uses this opportunity to manipulate (similar to the finale) everyone to the point it’s difficult to keep harmony between everyone.

In the end we get to Alexandria and everyone gets ambushed by FOWL and Bradford transforms himself back into adult (the plot twist!) and the rest…well I’m not sure how it would go yet but during the season we would get some clues about Bradford’s connections and by mid season we would start to notice many friends disappearing (if we go by the box kidnappings storyline).

[tymime]

I’m not sure how I feel about the Chip ‘n Dale: Rescue Rangers movie including uncanny valley CG characters as toons. I’ve always felt that the divide between toons and lifeless illustrations was the pretense of realism or lack thereof, which is why you didn’t just see the Mona Lisa or some character from a serious dramatic animated film running around with Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny. And I also feel like it doesn’t just have to be animated characters. I think characters from comic books and newspaper strips count too. It’d be weird if Scrooge McDuck wasn’t alive until Scrooge McDuck and Money in 1967, wouldn’t it?

Where does the boundary lie, exactly? We couldn’t just have CG Spider-Man or Iron Man from the MCU included when we’re supposed to believe they’re real within those movies and not think they’re cartoons. I’m reminded of the times when characters like Space Ghost and the Hanna-Barbera versions of the Justice League interacted with Cartoon Network characters.

I feel like this more believable, because although 1970s superhero cartoons aren’t exactly meant to be “cartoony” in the usual sense, they aren’t really meant to be realistic either and nobody takes them very seriously.

The movie also ignores the fact that Chip ‘n Dale have already been CG for over a decade now, ever since Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

But I suppose you could excuse it by saying Dale is going all the way CG, with fur texture and all. On the other hand, since Chip is technically not actually hand-drawn, but one of those semi-2D outlined CG things, the joke doesn’t really fly. Which is weird because it looks as though every other 2D toon is drawn frame-by-frame, sans the MLP characters...

I’m also concerned about Roger Rabbit’s cameo. What if they mention he was in the Who Framed Roger Rabbit movie, and instantly make this new movie non-canon in the WFRR universe? I would hate that.

But in the end, it kind of blows me away that the writers seem to be thinking in similar terms as I am. I’ve thought about 2D toons going CG through some sort of digital process for a long time. I like how they’ve got toons mingling with humans, even anime toons, going to parties and conventions together. I like that. Can’t help but notice that there are no toons from Warner Media IPs in the trailer, though.

[wild-aloof-rebel]

Okay Leslie, I love your baseball fics, and the latest one is 😭😭 but I know nothing else about baseball. Can you explain what is happening right now to me like I'm 5? I keep seeing news that there's a lockout or whatever... but I don't know what that means or why or anything?

oh goodness, ummmm i guess the 5-year-old version is that mlb and the owners are all scrooge mcduck and their favorite hobby is pulling one of these

but they think their pools of gold aren’t wide enough or deep enough, so they told the players—you know, the people who actually do the job that makes them all that gold—that they can’t come to work again until they agree to let all the scrooges make rules that keep giving them more and more gold, while the players get squat.

in case you want a slightly more substantial explanation than that, i’ll put it under a cut (and i’ll try to keep the baseball of it all to a minimum, lol)...

okay, so baseball operates under a collective bargaining agreement (cba) between mlb and the players’ union, the mlbpa. like any cba, it covers things like salaries, disciplinary and grievance procedures, and health and safety, and it is mutually agreed upon by mlb and the union. the most recent cba was enacted in 2017 and covered through the end of the 2021 season. that cba expired at the end of the day on december 1, at which time the league made the decision to lock out the players.

in basically any kind of labor dispute, there are two kinds of work stoppage: a strike and a lockout. a strike is implemented by the union side, a lockout by the employer. in essence they are the same thing: the employees will not do any work until the strike/lockout comes to an end. from mlb’s point of view, they went with a lockout to preempt the players striking and to supposedly jump start negotiations, though the latter part is mostly a joke based on how mlb has behaved since then.

anyway, practically, this means things like, if you’re having off-season surgery, you can’t work with the team’s trainers during your recovery, nor can they ask how you are doing (because mlb has told staff they aren’t allowed to have contact with players during the lockout). it also means that spring training workouts are not starting this week as they were scheduled to. hilariously—because what can you do if you can’t laugh about this nonsense—it has also led to things like

(Yankees reliever Zack) Britton and his brother, Buck, who manages Baltimore’s Triple-A club in Norfolk, are in a supremely weird spot. As an MLB team employee, Buck is technically prohibited from contacting his brother, who is a 40-man roster player for the Yankees.

“We’ve joked that during Christmas, he’s got to stay on the other side of the room,” Zack told FOX Sports.

anyway, so the players are currently locked out until a new cba is reached or the owners decide to end it out of the goodness of their hearts, which, lbr, is not gonna happen. (theoretically they can end the lockout and mlb and the mlbpa can agree to continue to play under the old cba until a new deal is reached, which is essentially how the 1994-95 strike ended, but that seems Very Unlikely to happen this time around and even then basically only happened with federal intervention.)

so all the issues now are basically just what each side is arguing for or against wanting in a new cba. i won’t get into too much detail about all of it, but some of the main things under discussion are... 

1. player salaries and free agency: for the first three years of a player’s career, they [almost universally] make the league minimum. after that, they enter salary arbitration where they can negotiate with their team for a better contract. after six years, they enter free agency, where they can seek out a new team and a new contract. free agency is typically where the Big Money happens, since players have more leverage and choice, but as you can see, it takes a while to get there. 

2. service time manipulation: all those things in the previous point are determined not by actual calendar years but by service time, or how long a player actually plays in the majors. teams can manipulate that system by sending players back down to the minors for a bit to extend how long it takes to reach those milestones. this means keeping your hot young stars for longer (since they don’t get to free agency as fast) and for dirt cheap (since before arbitration they can’t negotiate for what they’re worth). 

3. revenue sharing and the competitive balance tax: i won’t bog you down with the details of how these work, but they are two different things with the same intended purpose, which is to help spread money around the league to support smaller market teams and make them more competitive with teams that basically eat money for breakfast. essentially, they take some money from teams with more of it and redistribute it to those with less. it seems like a good idea, but in reality, both of these have given [some] teams and owners a reason not to spend money, when they can just make it off the backs of other teams without actually making any effort to field a good team of their own. which leads to...

4. tanking: some owners just flatout refuse to put forth a competitive team. there are always arguments that sometimes being cheap and/or bad for a season or two is a useful rebuilding strategy, but for a lot of teams it’s just that there is very little incentive to win. they don’t have to go after expensive free agents when they can just field a team of mostly pre-arbitration players being paid the minimum, they’ll get rewarded with better draft picks the more that they lose, and through revenue sharing and competitive balance tax penalties, they’ll make more money than they’re spending, which they can just pocket since they aren’t required to actually use that money to make their team better, even though that was its intended purpose. (obviously spending lots of money isn’t a guarantee that your team will be good, but not spending any money is almost certainly a guarantee that it will be bad.) and if you’re a player unlucky enough to be stuck on a team that is not actually investing in winning, you’re truly stuck there unless they happen to trade you, since you can’t make the choice to go to another team until you become a free agent after six long years. 

at the end of the day, owners want to keep being allowed to put money directly into their pockets instead of spending it on players, and players want to receive their fair share of the revenue they help to generate, they want it earlier in their careers, and they want the teams they play for to actually care about winning games. seems like a reasonable ask, but of course we wouldn’t be here if mlb was a reasonable organization 🙃

(and of course none of this even touches on the plight of minor leaguers, who are affected by these same practices and the greed of mlb owners but do not actually have a say in any of this since there is no minor league union and they are not covered under the cba or represented by the mlbpa since those are specifically for the majors)

[quiverwingquack]

Okay so in this post @gosalyn made the excellent point that Louie doesn’t have any friends and it got me thinking about just how little the poor kid fits in.

Like, Webby makes friends wherever she goes, and at first she had the most trouble of any of them. If I remember right Louie was the one who was hesitant to bring Webby to Funzos because of her lack of social skills. But she makes friends with the other girls, and a lot of people she interacts with seem to like her a lot! She’s super friendly, to the point in Louie’s Eleven, Swanstantine, and Castle McDuck she gets people talking to her mid-battle.

Dewey’s obviously super friendly and he’s got a lot of people to talk to, what with befriending LP early on and knowing who both of the big superheroes are. He’s friends with Gos, and I would guess, knowing LP and Drake are going to go to Fenton to help her find her Grandpa, that Dewey has an easy “in” with Boyd too. Plus, he’s adventurous, so that means he gets along super well with Della and Scrooge, and like in Doomsday Vault he goes along with them, but none of the other kids do. He’s just close to them naturally.

Huey bonds with Boyd and Violet over Woodchuck stuff. Like Webby he has a bit of trouble socializing (autism coding, perhaps?) but he finds his people. And like Dewey he has Fenton, and he seems to hang around the lab with Team Science a fair amount. Specifically in Moonvasion he repeats that early Gyro quote like “I am man, you are machine,” which I always thought was a sign he’s been around Gyro enough to pick it up. Even if they’re not technically “friends” Huey has people to hang out with and do his own thing.

But Louie keeps getting left behind.

Boyd goes off to live with the Drakes, and I think neither of them talk much afterward. Maybe when they’re hanging out as a big group, and Boyd’s there with Huey and possibly Vi, but generally I don’t think they’re friends. It was a traumatic experience for Louie, like he might have gotten very hurt or died, and he mentions it to Della later on as such. So they probably aren’t very close.

Plus, even earlier on, he tries to connect with Doofus, thinking “oh this will be great, a rich kid, finally someone will understand me.” And what happens but a near-death experience, just like all the adventures have been for him. He’s left miserable, and he goes home with his brothers, probably feeling like they only came to help him because of coincidence(which is partly true) and like they’re only there because they have to be.

He wants to be close to Goldie. Like, she obviously cares about him, with that picture in her wallet. But he cries when she leaves because he finally felt understood, and her leaving hurt him. And maybe after Florida she’ll come around a little more, because after almost losing Scrooge I think she realizes she needs people, and she’s got them when she’s around the McDuck/Duck family. But the damage has already been done, you know? Again, traumatic experience, and Louie’s gonna always have that between him and Goldie, so they’re going to have a different relationship than what Huey does with Fenton and Dewey with LP.

Plus when it comes to his family itself, he doesn’t really get along with anyone as well as the others. It was a plot point in S2 that both Scrooge and Della struggle to connect with him right. They see his schemes as bad or hurtful, he’s not as into adventuring/tends to be uncomfortable with danger rather than excited by it. With Glomtales they kind of show how he feels like an outcast because he can’t connect with the people around him right, and in Woodchucks he has that line about being “cold and terrified” equaling adventure for him. Then, in the end of Quack Pack, they show him upset with Donald’s wish, which could signify that he doesn’t get along with Donald too well either thanks to a difference in ideals. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen them, but in Mervana, Impossibin, and even as far back as Atlantis he and Beakley have trouble getting along too(which might come up again in future with the whole lying thing).

Also, like I mentioned earlier, I definitely think sometimes he feels his brothers are only there because they think they have to be. I mean, remember the B-plot of the Other Bin episode? The whole thing was Dewey and Huey pushing Louie aside for their new buddy and blackmailing him into helping them hide it. Dewey hiding the Della thing basically broke his heart in Secrets of Castle McDuck, and afterward he was terrified of adventures altogether because of it, like he tells Huey in Game Night. In Cousin Fethry it’s a gag even that they blame their actions on poor Louie! He’s constantly made to feel like he doesn’t fit with them/doesn’t belong, and when they are there for him, like in Only Child Day like I mentioned, or Found Lamp and Timephoon, a lot of it is due to Louie messing up and needing their help. They’re very rarely there just to support him and I think that contributes to how outcast he feels.

Do you think maybe that’s why he leans so hard into his schemes? He doesn’t have friends to spend time with, and if he can help it, stays home rather than going on adventures. He probably fills that time making schemes and inventions alone. Like with Louie’s Eleven and Glomtales, he just wants to feel like he’s needed and he belongs in the same space where his siblings fit in so effortlessly. Part of it, of course, comes from being raised in a household where they didn’t have a whole lot of money (look at the interior of Donald’s car in Woo-oo, for one) but I think just as much of it is driven by this need to feel like he’s part of the family.

The poor kid just constantly gets left behind, forgotten, not included, over and over, and his “lone wolf” act he puts on working with Goldie is probably not much of an act, actually.

[i-legit-dont-know-what-im-doing]

How The Golden Spear would go in my “HDLW grow up with their Duck Cousins counterparts” AU (This is Part 2 of Webby’s introduction Part 1 is Whatever Happened to Della Duck which you can find right here):

It opens with Della bringing gold back to the ship where Webby is watching a news report that they managed to tune into while Penumbra watches with suspicion.

Della is exhausted from spending all her time trying to fix the ship so she can get her and Webby back home.

Meanwhile on Earth, Donald is trying to get some much needed relaxation time only to be interrupted by Dewey who wants to know if he can use his old VCR to watch a zombie movie.

Which of course raises the dead so they have to right off zombies causing Donald to molt more.

Lunaris attempts to persuade Della to stay in Tranquility, saying that it would be perfect to work on her ship but she still isn’t convinced.

They end up by the statue of Lunaris and Penumbra and Lunaris tells Della about how the two of them defended the Planet Moon “Which is technically not a planet so ‘Moon Moon?’” from the Moon Mites.

After Penumbra shows up and they talk for a bit Della says she has to get back to fixing the Spear with Webby and as she walks away Penumbra tries to blast her only to be stopped by Lunaris.

Lunaris talks about his father, General Meridian, and how he was afraid of the earth and drove them into hiding, then points how neither Della nor the child she came there with look like a threat.

Lunaris orders Penumbra to let Della and the child stay with her and then leaves before Penumbra can argue.

After Donald and Dewey defeat the zombies he moves his hammock to the house boat.

As soon as he gets comfortable Storkules  and Zeus’ family argument makes it’s way to Duckberg.

Over on the Moon, Della and Webby have arrived at Penumbra’s place much to the Moonlander’s dismay.

Webby is excitedly bouncing all over the place and asking questions about everything while Della tries to get her to calm down and apologizes while thanking Penumbra for offering to let them stay with her.

Della, sensing Penumbra’s annoyance, tells Webby that they ought to get back to working on the Spear of Selene and the two of them leave with their bag of gold.

As the two of them start trying to hoist the tip of the rocket to the top a few Moonlanders appear and thank Della for saving them from the mites and call her a hero.

Della tells them that she’s just a mom trying to get her and Webby home to see their family.

The Moonlanders offer to help them with the Spear since she helped the with the mites.

As she repairs the ship Della tells the Moonlanders stories about earth and her adventures with Webby popping in to tell her favorite parts.

Penumbra tries to prove the Moon is better but when Webby makes a comment about the Moon orbiting the Earth Penumbra blasts at the ladder.

When a Moonlander asks why Della loves earth so much she starts talking about her family and different earth-things drawing more Moonlanders over.

Meanwhile Penumbra hears yelling and runs back to Tranquility, assuming that Della and Webby had sprung their trap.

Only to find Della talking about the gargantuan Glided Man.

Webby excitedly interrupts to talk about how Della single-handedly defeated it.

Penumbra almost throws her spear at Della in her anger but Lunaris stops her and starts talking about how fascinating the rocket is, and how all Della would need to do is flip a little switch and it launch the rocket into space.

After Dewey tries to fight Zeus Donald has to step in and fight Zeus himself.

He tried to set up his hammock in Scrooges closet only for Scrooge to burst in and demand to know what a magical goat that Donald had failed to notice is doing there.

The goat opens a portal and Scrooge and Donald are sucked in.

Penumbra, getting increasingly aggravated by the sounds of Della and Webby fixing their rocket, goes out to confront them with her spear.

Della announces that it’s working and her and Webby are finally getting home to their family.

All the Moonlanders cheer for earth and Penumbra says “If you all think earth is so great, why don’t you just go already?!” and on of the Moonlanders asks Della if they can all please go with her.

Della says that she wishes she could but their isn’t enough room.

When the crowd expresses disappointment Penumbra sees an opportunity and says that surely the great Della Duck could get them all to earth if she really wanted to.

The Moonlanders believe Penumbra and ask if Della is embarrassed by them and Della quickly says that she isn’t and she does really wish she could take them all but it isn’t possible.

Penumbra says that she thought nothing could stop the amazing Della Duck.

That’s when Webby says that if her and her Aunt Della could learn rocket science and rebuild their ship and there’s no reason they shouldn’t be able to find away to fit them all in the Spear and the Moonlanders rejoice.

Penumbra breaks her spear out of anger.

Scrooge and Donald are spit out of the portal and Donald is not looking to good.

Just then Dewey bursts in talking a mile a minute.

Donald drags his hammock out tiredly leaving a trail of molted feathers behind.

Della is going to find Penumbra to return her newly fixed spear when she overhears Penumbra ranting to Lunaris about how the Earthers are brain washing every one with lies and magical bracelets and are gonna get them killed.

She clears her throat, apologizes for startling Penumbra, and pretends like she didn’t hear anything.

Della returns Penumbra’s spear and then shows her and Lunaris her drawing of Huey, Dewey, and Louie/Jet, Turbo, and Rebel, and says that they’re her sons, and thanks to Penumbra and Lunaris she’s gonna have a chance to be a mom to them and Webby is gonna have a chance to meet her grandmother, who isn’t in this drawing.

She promises to Penumbra that she’ll protect her people just like she protected Webby all these years.

Dewey and Scrooge surprise Donald with a month long cruise so he can get some time to relax.

Penumbra starts to formulate a plan to keep Della and Webby from taking her people to earth, even if they aren’t evil.

She drags the two of them to the Spear and flicks the emergency launch switch.

She wakes them up and tells them that she doesn’t know what happened and Della jumps in to try and stop it.

Penumbra helps Webby in and tells them to go back to their family.

Webby says that they can’t leave the others behind and Lunaris, appearing out of seemingly nowhere, says that they can build more and tells Della to give him the plans for the ship.

Della grabs the plans, looks at Webby, then at earth through the window, then at Lunaris.

She quickly moves Webby into the pilots chair, straps her in, and tells her that the ship will take her to just outside of McDuck Manor and once it lands she needs to get the mansion and ask for either Beakley, Donald, or Scrooge, tells Webby that she loves her, and then climbs out of the Spear.

Webby tries to get out of the straps saying the she won’t go without Della but the door is already closed and the countdown in nearing completion.

Lunaris and Penumbra are too shocked to move until the rocket has already launched.

As they watch the ship go Della and Penumbra hear a laser blast and turn to find Lunaris grinning with a wound and holding his gun.

He grabs Della and pins her to the ground with her arms behind her back and his laser gun to her head just as the other Moonlanders come out to see what’s happened.

Lunaris tells everyone that Della and Webby betrayed them and used them to rebuild their ship and then when the time was right they attacked him while Della struggled to get out from under him and tried to tell them he was lying.

Lunaris ignores her and tells the others that she can her companion were the first wave of a bigger attack and she lied to them so that she could get back to earth and tell the Earthers of the Moons weaknesses.

Lunaris says that they can use the plans that he wrestled away from the traitors before the small one was able to flee to build a fleet of ships to invade them first talking over Della as she tries to explain the truth.

Penumbra finally overcomes her shock and realizes what’s happening.

Later she asks Lunaris why he brought the Earthers and their ship to Tranquility and got the others on their side.

Lunaris says that they others are not warriors like they are, that they needed a reason to fight, so he gave them one: betrayal.

On Earth, while Donald is waiting for the bus to take him to his cruise he sees something familiar fall from the sky.

He runs after it and finds the Spear, he runs to it calling out his sisters name.

But when he reaches the door he finds a girl, about Dewey’s age, wearing his twins jacket and odd gold clothes in the pilots chair instead.

The girl appears to be struggling to move, like she can’t left her limbs.

Donald pulls the door open and the girl tries to move to look at him.

He jumps in and calls out his sisters name again, hoping she pop somewhere.

Finally the girl says something though it sounds like it takes a fair bit of effort, “You know my Aunt Della?”

He whips around to look at the girl and she says something else before promptly passing out, “Hi, I’m Webby.”

Part 2 of the Webby intro, is complete! Sorry this took so long to do! I haven’t had much motivation for anything. The next episode posts I am planning are Nothing Can Stop Della Duck and Whatever Happened to Donald Duck so keep an eye out for them. As always, if anyone has any questions about this AU then don’t be afraid to ask! I love answering them!

Important Links/Info For AU

[mighty-ant]

The Man From F.O.W.L., Part One

“What’s with these little guys?” 

While the lab was always cluttered, it was normally cluttered with scientific equipment and charts that Steelbeak didn’t know the names of and couldn’t parse heads or tails of anyway. In the last two months, Fethry’s addition to the lab brought more of the same, but at least his charts were colorful. A large jar full of water and tiny swimming creatures was incongruous, to say the least. 

“Oh, that’s my team!”

He glanced past the jar at Fethry, who beamed at him from the other side of the table. “Your team?” he repeated, confused. 

Fethry nodded eagerly. “I found them back when I worked in the McDuck Sublab. They’ve been my stalwart companions going on...oh, about five years now.” 

“What are they, shrimp?” Steelbeak asked. 

“Euphausia superba,” he replied, “more commonly known as the Antarctic krill! They were invaluable in my unofficial research, and I figured they could help me out here now that I‘ve got a real lab coat and a new underwater lab!” Fethry tugged on his lapels with a grin, one of his sleeves stained with ink from a particularly irritable squid, only to thoughtfully add, “Well, underwater and underground lab, technically. All of the ‘unders’.”

Steelbeak blinked. “So they’re like super krill or something?”

“Exactly!” Fethry enthused. “I’ve been training them since they hatched, and they’ve learned to follow simple commands and swim in formation. I’d be lost without them.” He came around the table to stand beside Steelbeak and began pointing out individual krill. After a moment of hesitation, Steelbeak leaned down with him so their faces were level. 

“Let’s see, we have the ever feisty Hans, Dr. Krill—he’s currently arguing his dissertation—Benji, Alastair, Nicholas, little Beverly, Virgil, Simone, Fish Breath, Philippe’s right there, Cameron, Sylvia, and Charles! Oh, and Mitzy, but she’s no longer with us.”

Steelbeak turned to Fethry, his brow furrowing. “What happened to Mitzy?”

“Hm?” Fethry said distractedly. “Oh! Oh, no, she’s fine! She’s just too big to fit in the same jar as the rest of the team. You know the giant krill in the bay? That’s Mitzy!”

“Huh,” Steelbeak said, leaning back. 

Fethry bounced a little on his heels, clasping his hands together. “Oh, and that isn’t even the best part!” He hurried back to the other side of the lab, where the light switch was. “My whole team was mutated by the chemicals in the hydrothermal vents near where I found them. Mitzy’s mutation was the most obvious, but Mother Nature is a tricky customer and she gave the rest of my team a little something, too.

“Behold!” he announced, flipping the lightswitch and plunging the lab into darkness. Only, not complete darkness. The jar of krill glowed brilliant blue like a lantern, almost otherworldly in its intensity. Steelbeak gasped in spite of himself. 

“My team’s natural bioluminesce was increased a thousandfold,” Fethry explained, his voice hushed as he stepped up to the other side of the table. “They’ve helped light my way through some dark times, let me tell you.” 

Once more, Steelbeak looked past the jar and to Fethry on the other side. He found himself arrested by the play of light across Fethry’s features, the jar’s pale blue glow highlighting the delicate curves of his face and throat, so unlike the sharp panes of his own. A clever quip caught in his chest, along with his next breath. 

“They’re really somethin,” Steelbeak found himself saying, stupidly. 

“Aren’t they?” Fethry’s voice was awed. When he met Steelbeak’s gaze, his heart jolted strangely in his chest. 

A series of crashes in the darkness had them startling apart, to Steelbeak’s overwhelming relief. His chest was still feeling tight and though he could tell himself otherwise,  the racing of his heart had nothing to do with the potential of an intruder. He prepared for attack, moving to shield Fethry from view. If memory served, there were a handful of syringes in the drawer to his right and a heavy microscope on the table next to him that he could use to bludgeon an intruder if need be. He was only a little disappointed when he recognized the voice that began muttering pretentious curses from the direction of the doorway. 

“What in the—what the devil happened to the lights?”

Fethry winced. “Sorry about that, Dr. Heron.” 

With all active agents gathered around the conference table or beaktiming in from various clandestine locations, their biweekly mission debriefings were strangely akin to the meetings regular coworkers might have in some office building. That is, if those meetings entailed handing out kill orders against foreign dignitaries and instructing which sleeper agent was to be put in their place. Hell, maybe that was what happened. It wasn’t as though Steelbeak had ever held anyone’s idea of a normal job. 

It was their first debriefing in the new base beneath Funzo’s, and he listened with only half an ear, still sore about the loss of the lighthouse. Blot was being given a break from sentry duty to do something sinister in Rongway, Dee was to work on new surveillance equipment, so on and so forth. He didn’t start paying too much attention until Bradford said his name. 

“Heron, you and Steelbeak will be stationed here for the foreseeable future. We’ll be acquiring a new asset tomorrow who must be kept in the dark regarding the true intentions of our operation.” 

“You’re bringing a civilian here?” Heron demanded. “What on earth for?”

“Because he makes a convenient hostage,” Bradford replied shortly. With the press of a button, the massive screen behind him flickered and an image of a duck wearing a red beanie, jacket, and yellow sweater appeared, smiling at the camera. 

“This is Fethry Duck, nephew of Scrooge McDuck. He’s a marine biologist who’s been looking for a research lab willing to hire a scientist without a degree or qualifications of any kind.” He smiled, a sharp, cruel slash that was enough to make even the back of Steelbeak’s neck prickle with apprehension. “We told him that F.L.O.W., the Federation of Leading Ocean Wayfarers, would be happy to have him.”

Steelbeak snorted. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.” 

Bradford’s expression melted back into its typical scowl, peering down at Steelbeak like he was a particularly ugly bug he’d found under his shoe. He tried not to feel too special; Bradford looked at everyone like that. “Excuse me?” he said icily

“F.L.O.W? A little on the nose, ain’t it?” Steelbeak said, gesturing flippantly at the image of the duck smiling benignly on screen. “Like what idiot’s gonna buy that?”

“Fethry Duck is cut from a different cloth than the rest of clan McDuck,” Bradford said, letting his glare linger on Steelbeak. “To put it simply, he is an idiot. Either he turns out to be a valuable hostage or we dispose of him like the rest of them. Your job is to keep him in the lab, happy and oblivious. I’m sure even you can manage that.”

“You have nothing to worry about, Bradford,” Heron replied, shooting Steelbeak a quelling look. 

He raised his hands defensively, leaning back in his seat. As the conversation continued around him, he considered the asset’s still image. 

Fethry Duck, huh? 

He supposed a babysitting job wouldn’t be too bad. Plus, he’d be able to place bets with the Eggheads to see how long Heron would let an outsider mess with her lab equipment before she snapped and just blasted the poor sap. 

With few options for entertainment onbase, and even less outside of it as a former convict, Steelbeak tended to frequent the lab in between missions. The week following their last debriefing found him doing just that. 

He was messing with the big boxy device that spun around on the inside on Heron’s Touch-This-And-I’ll-Use-You-As-My-Next-Test-Subject table when he heard voices out in the hall. 

“What a setup! If I’d realized this place was so top secret I would’ve—well I wouldn’t have turned you guys down, far from it, I’m very grateful! How far down are we, by the way? The elevator was quick but I know when I’m traveling below sea level. Are we underwater now? There don’t seem to be any windows so I’m guessing we’re even further down. Underground then? Am I talking too much? I’m sorry about that.” 

Heron stomped through the doorway of the lab with a pinched expression of such utter fury on her face that Steelbeak had to disguise his snort of laughter as a cough, raising a fist to his beak to sell the charade. Her resulting glare was venomous, but he didn’t have long to be amused by it before the source of her ire followed her. 

Fethry Duck looked much like he did in his photo, only more cheerful. He entered the lab with his head on a swivel, taking in Heron’s dour setup with undisguised awe.  His clothes were baggy, and he didn’t resemble what Steelbeak had come to expect scientists to look like. 

Heron stormed past Steelbeak and grabbed a handful of the explosive ammunition she used in her prosthesis from her Touch-This-And-You-Won’t-Live-To-See-Retirement table. “You two idiots entertain yourselves,” she muttered, for Steelbeak’s ears only. “I’m going to the firing range.”

He bristled at the insult, but he told himself not to take it to heart. His partner was notorious for not tolerating fools lightly, and if what Bradford said was true, this Fethry Duck was the biggest fool of all. 

“Thank you for showing me the way to the lab, Dr. Heron,” Fethry said, beaming, as she walked back in his direction. “I’m looking forward to working with—” Heron marched past him without so much as a sideways glance and he trailed off, watching her go. “Oh. I guess I was talking too much.”

Steelbeak was debating how much bodily harm he was risking in following Heron when their oblivious hostage wasted no time in approaching him, arm extended for a handshake. 

“Hello there!” he said, seemingly unbothered by Steelbeak’s refusal to uncross his arms. “I’m Fethry Duck. Are you a scientist too?” 

He instinctively saw red and his hands curled into fists. Asset or not, Steelbeak didn’t take kindly to being mocked, much less twice in the span of a minute and much much less by one of the Ducks. But his brain caught up to the rest of his body when he processed the guileless expression and the sincerity in the duck’s voice. He was actually serious. 

Feeling as though he’d missed a step on a set of stairs and trying not to show it, Steelbeak scoffed. “As if I’d be into this nerd stuff. No I’m, uh, I’m lab security. So you’ll be seeing a lot of me.” He said the last part as a challenge. 

Fethry lowered his hand, but not his smile, as he began examining the materials on Heron’s Touch-This-And-I’ll-Replace-Your-Beak-With-One-Made-Out-Of-Styrofoam-Steelbeak table. “Well then, it’ll be nice to see a friendly face! I haven’t met anyone but you and Dr. Heron, Mr…?” 

“Steelbeak,” he replied. 

Fethry laughed, delighted. “It certainly is,” he said, wandering back and peering up at Steelbeak with a lack of fear he hadn’t experienced in years. “I’m no engineer, but even I can tell that your beak’s expertly made. Kind of like Dr. Heron’s arm. Oh, did she make it for you?” 

Steelbeak took a step back without meaning to, unnerved by Fethry’s earnestness. He hadn’t known what to expect from a new scientist, official credited or not; maybe someone haughty and cruel like Heron or timid like the base’s other scientists. His instincts told him that the all-smiles routine was just that, an act, and it put him on the defensive when he was supposed to be putting their hostage at ease. 

Fethry blinked, exuberance faltering for the first time. “I’m sorry, I got a little carried away, didn’t I?” he said, his smile shrinking. He took a step back, clasping his hands together. “I’m just excited to start working with you all. This’ll be my first official research job, y’know! Not just something I do to while away the hours as I stare into the unending abyss.”

“Huh?” Steelbeak said 

“Do you know if I’ve been assigned to a specific part of the lab?” Fethry asked, his cheer startlingly buoyant. “Or is it more of a first come first served kind of thing?” 

Steelbeak glanced around for just a moment before pointing at Heron’s Touch-This-And-I’ll-Use-You-As-My-Next-Test-Subject table. “Nobody’s using that one. Go right ahead.”

A month after meeting Fethry’s team, the scientist in question nervously sidled up to him in the lab one morning. 

It was just the two of them, as had increasingly become the case since Heron started conducting more live animal experimentation in her personal lab. Fethry had a row of fish tanks against his side of the lab, filled with everything from colorful algae to a perpetually angry octopus. Weeks ago, he started offering to let Steelbeak feed the piranhas while he documented their behavior, an offer Steelbeak always took him up on. 

That morning, he was distracted from watching the piranhas tear apart a handful of thawed bait fish when Fethry hardly said a word for the duration of his notetaking. Normally, silence was rare in the lab when Fethry was in residence, as he could talk at length about any and every species, the body of water of their origin, and the personalities of the ones he’d had the pleasure of meeting.

However, while Fethry might’ve been silent, he certainly wasn’t motionless. He twirled his pen around his fingers like a magician might a playing card, and every few minutes moved to stand a little bit closer. Not only that, but he was chewing on a corner of his beak in a display of nervousness that Steelbeak had never seen from him. It immediately put him on the defensive as he became more and more certain that he was doing something wrong. 

“What is it?” he snapped, burning hotly with embarrassment beneath the collar of his bespoke suit. Heron never had any problem listing his many faults; maybe Fethry just needed prompting. 

Fethry jumped, dropping his pen. “Oh, sorry,” he said, grinning sheepishly. He bent down to retrieve it. “Nervous habit, I guess.” Pen in hand, he tapped the edge of his clipboard a few times, looking down at the ground. “After feeding our sharped-toothed friends here I was planning on getting some fresh air. The tidepools by the abandoned amphitheater supposedly have, uh, albino hermit crabs so I was gonna check that out. If...if you wanted to-to join me.”

Steelbeak’s instinctive response was to suspect a trap. Back when he was in deep with the St. Canard underground fighting circuit, there was a particular spot down by the docks with no police and less witnesses where the more prestigious gangs liked to dump bodies. The amphitheater was the ideal setting for such an ambush; secluded, empty, and hard to reach. 

With some difficulty, he stamped down the worst of his paranoia. This was Fethry he was talking about. For all intents and purposes the least dangerous member of Clan McDuck until the day he decided to take Mitzy for a walk downtown. Besides, in the unlikely event Fethry did try anything, it wasn’t as if Steelbeak couldn’t take him in a fight. 

He tried not to think about how the thought of laying a hand on Fethry in any fashion made dread coil like a fist in the pit of his stomach. 

The speed with which Fethry tapped his pen against his clipboard reached new heights in the wake of Steelbeak’s prolonged silence. “I understand if you’re busy,” he said in a rush, “it’s not very interesting, I know—”

“Sure, why not,” Steelbeak replied, trying to remain aloof as he moved for the first time in over a minute, dropping a few more pieces of bait fish in the piranha tank. 

“What—really?” 

Steelbeak made the mistake of glancing down at Fethry and was floored by the brilliant, disbelieving smile on his face. Heat prickled under his collar again, this time from a different sort of embarrassment. “Uh, yeah,” he said. He sniffed and quickly glanced away. “Nothing better to do in here anyway. Might as well get some air.”

“Oh, o-of course,” Fethry replied. When Steelbeak risked another glimpse, he saw Fethry failing to hide a smile as he busied himself with note taking. 

After a quick check-in at the actual security room, Steelbeak returned to the lab so he and Fethry could set out for the passageway that opened up into the amphitheater. The base had dozens of tunnels just like it, sprawling out to various strategic points all over town, but Fethry obviously knew of only a scant few of them, if that. 

Before they left, he was a little surprised when Fethry pulled off his baggy lab coat—at two sizes too big he always rolled the sleeves up—to reveal a close-fitting gray turtleneck that, aside from fitting Fethry properly, also looked brand new. In all the time Steelbeak had known him, he always wore well-worn, oversized clothes: an old Duckburg U sweatshirt, for example, or his trademark yellow sweater. 

Steelbeak dressed in the most expensive suits he could get his hands on, wanting to make his rise in status obvious to anyone who looked at him. He wasn’t the same punk who cops dragged kicking and screaming out of the ring, beak warped and face beaten bloody. He was an agent of F.O.W.L., not a henchman or a mobster’s pawn. But Fethry had never shown such concern for his appearance, and Steelbeak eyed him discreetly, wondering what had changed. 

Obviously he wasn’t discreet enough, as Fethry’s natural smile became a bit abashed as he hid his turtleneck under a red coat that also seemed to be new. “Oh, uh, Della, my cousin, took me on a bit of a shopping spree when she heard about my new job. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her anything about any of this,” he added quickly, and Steelbeak was a little embarrassed to admit that the risk of a potential security breach hadn’t even crossed his mind. “She said that after being on the moon so long she needed a new wardrobe and that I couldn’t keep wearing ‘grandpa clothes’.”

Steelbeak stuffed his hands in his pockets as they started walking down the hall. “Well, uh, you look good,” he said stiffly. “But you looked fine before, too.” 

Fethry stopped in his tracks. Steelbeak almost turned around to check on him before he hurried to catch up. “Thanks,” he said, and Steelbeak could hear the smile in his voice (and he wondered when that became something he recognized). “You always look very nice, you know! Very snazzy.”

Steelbeak laughed as he stopped to enter the code in the control panel to open the passageway. A strange feeling settled over him that he belatedly recognized as flattery. He was flattered. “What, this old thing?” he said, tugging smugly at his lapel as the entrance slid open.

At first, the passage on the other side of the door stretched out into darkness; standing at the entrance, it was akin to peering down a predator’s gullet. After a few seconds the fluorescent lights kicked on, spaced out every five feet on the metal ceiling. The tunnel was wide enough for Steelbeak and Fethry to walk side by side and once they entered, the doorway sealed shut behind them.

  The crisp breeze blowing off the bay came as a bit of a shock, and Steelbeak wondered if he’d been shut up in the base for too long. 

Wind whistled hauntingly through the crumbling walls of the amphitheater, and above them the sky was pale blue, peppered with clouds. Sitting on one of the collapsed pillars decorating the weathered, wooden stage, Steelbeak watched Fethry wander through the tidepools surrounding the base of the flooded amphitheater. 

The utter openness of the open space was almost disconcerting. In front of him the bay stretched out endlessly and the air was salty and fresh, not the same stale, recycled kind he’d grown accustomed to. F.O.W.L. might have freed him from prison but sometimes it felt as though he’d just been placed in another box, this one with gilded wrapping. Or rather steel, he amended, as the sunlight glinted dully off his beak. 

Fortunately, Fethry chose that moment to interrupt his thoughts before he could go too far down that rabbit hole. 

“So….Steelbeak,” he said, standing in knee deep water. “Is there a first name to go with that?”

He smirked. “How do you know Steelbeak isn’t my first name?” 

Fethry started, then shook his head with a laugh. “Guess I fell into that one.”

“Speaking of names,” Steelbeak said. He hesitated, knowing he was getting into dangerous territory. As usual, he just plowed ahead. “You’re related to McDuck, right?”

He didn’t expect to watch, alarmed, as the smile slipped off Fethry’s face.  

“Not really,” he replied, with a meager attempt at his usual cheer. “I’m just his...sister’s husband’s nephew,” he said, counting off on his fingers. 

“Still,” Steelbeak countered, “that’s more than most idiots can say. Richest duck in the world’s gotta need fancy science guys too. Why not hit him up for a job? You worked for him before, right?”

These were the sort of questions he wasn’t supposed to ask. He hadn’t exactly been handed How to Be A Spy For Dummies but even he knew that introducing doubt to a hostage who came to them willingly was a capital ‘b’ Bad idea. Time was, he wouldn’t have cared enough to ask; what were the McDucks if not a means to an end? But this was Fethry. He wanted to know what could possibly drive someone to F.O.W.L. when for him it was a last retort. 

 Fethry chuckled without humor, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well uh, isn’t that a whale of a tale.” 

Steelbeak’s brow furrowed in confusion. Ambiguity was hardly Fethry’s M.O., quite the opposite in fact. He was able to relax around Fethry because he didn’t feel like he was lagging six steps behind when they had a conversation.  

Fethry resumed his perusal of the tidepools, notably lacking in his earlier exuberance. “The last time I worked for Uncle Scrooge it ended a little abruptly,” he said, his voice carefully even. 

“You were fired?” 

“In a manner of speaking,” Fethry said, crouching to inspect something beneath the surface of the water. “The lab was old. Coupled with the hydrothermal vents, it was only a matter of time before it fell apart. I still haven’t told Donald or Uncle Scrooge. And Della thinks we were all one big happy family while she was gone, so...” He shook his head with a chagrined smile.

“I don’t get it,” Steelbeak said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. What might have once garnered mocking laughter or one of Heron’s eyerolls only made Fethry straighten with a sigh. 

“I’m not doing a very good job of explaining this,” he admitted, shooting Steelbeak a small, apologetic smile as he scratched his forehead. 

“Okay,” he said with a decisive nod. “For four years, I took care of Uncle Scrooge’s lab. I wasn’t a scientist or anything, I just...kept it running. It was just me and the wonders of the deep, out in the middle of the ocean and most of the time it was amazing! Everything I’d ever dreamed of, y’know? But it was just me. And I was worried that if I went back to Uncle Scrooge he’d just stick me in some other dark, empty place and forget all about me.”

The image of Fethry’s bright light smothered by an oppressive darkness didn’t sit right with Steelbeak. Entirely the opposite, really, as the notion curdled in Steelbeak’s gut like spoiled milk. 

“What about F.O.—F.L.O.W.? Isn’t this just the same thing?” he asked, and realized as soon as the words were out of his mouth that he was dreading the answer. 

Fethry blinked. “Of course not. You’re there.”

Steelbeak’s train of thought screeched to a halt, the cars crashed together and the coal cart caught fire. 

“What?” he said.

“I’m doing this all wrong aren’t I?” Fethry muttered, raising a hand to his face. 

Steelbeak stiffened, a familiar paranoia rising to choke him. He was on the brink of searching for signs of an ambush when Fethry exclaimed, “I don’t know if there are albino hermit crabs in these tidepools.” He threw his hands out at his sides. “They’re not why I’m out here. Or why I asked you to come with me. I just...I wanted to spend time with you outside of the lab.”

Fethry looked up at him, expression imploring and a little bit hopeful, as the water lapped gently around his knees. Steelbeak felt heat rise up his neck, flooding his face. The silence became overwhelming and he couldn’t think of a single pithy comment. 

“I went to prison,” he blurted. 

Fethry’s eyes widened sharply in surprise.  

“Nine months,” Steelbeak went on, his beak moving independent of his furious mind demanding that he shut the hell up. “It was supposed to be longer but F-F.L.O.W. got me out early.”

“Steelbeak,” Fethry said, his brow furrowing in concern as he started making his way to the stage. “You don’t have you—”

“I’m on parole,” he said, wincing through the lie. “That’s why I’m here. Before you get any ideas about making us friendship bracelets.”

Fethry stopped at the edge of the wooden stage, which reached him just below his waist. He didn’t look angry or scared like Steelbeak had intended. “Thank you for telling me,” he said, smiling that infuriatingly gentle smile. “You didn’t have to do that, and I want you to know that it doesn’t change my opinion of you.” 

“What? Why not?” Steelbeak demanded, throwing himself to his feet. 

Fethry clambered onto the stage with a grunt of exertion. “Well—” 

His foot slipped. 

Before Steelbeak was conscious of moving, he lunged forward the moment Fethry started tipping backward. He grabbed Fethry by one flailing wrist and dragged him forward to safety, which just so happened put him on a collision course with Steelbeak’s chest. 

For one breathless moment, their bodies were pressed flush against one another. Steelbeak burned all over and couldn’t draw breath, much less look away from Fethry’s upturned face, his beak parted in an expression of perfect shock. He felt the rise and fall of Fethry’s smaller chest against his own, and he choked on his own exhale. His grip remained ironclad around Fethry’s wrist, locked still like a statue, and in spite of that he felt Fethry’s hands settle against his waist, pressing gently.

It was too much. 

“I should be getting back,” Steelbeak stuttered, tearing himself away. He didn’t look at Fethry as he stumbled, stopped and finally turned around, making a beeline for the tunnel that would return him to base. 

He left Fethry alone on the stage without looking back. 

Black Heron greeted him almost the instant he crossed the threshold. 

“Did you seriously leave headquarters with the asset?” she hissed at him in the hallway, enraged in a way that went far beyond her typical ire. 

“Yeah, so what?” he retorted, still shaken by what transpired in the amphitheater. “He wanted to do some science thing by the water.” 

He would later blame her augmented prosthesis for the way he didn’t even realize she’d moved until she was grabbing his beak. She used her enhanced strength and his surprise to yank him down to her eye level. Her unyielding talons screeched against the steel, sealing it shut.“You idiot! Do you realize you could’ve exposed us? What if one of his insipid family members had seen you?” 

Startled and enraged at being brought to heel so easily, he jerked his beak out of her grasp. “I checked the security monitors, Heron,” he snapped. “McDuck and them are in Egypt and the green cousin won tickets to some resort in Birdbados. I’m not stupid.”

Heron sneered. “Not this time.” She shoved past him, starting down the hall with her beak in the air. When she stopped only a handful of feet away, he knew to be on the defensive. Instead, what she said chilled him. “Oh, and next time you decide to mix business with pleasure, try to be a little more discreet,” she threw over her shoulder, making no effort to hide her smirk. “After all, Fethry Duck won’t be here for long.” 

[waveypedia]

complete and utter chaos [ducktales group chat fic] - Chapter 1

AO3 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

~

group chat: let kids be kids

Junior-Woodchuck74, ICanDeweyIt, Lou, TheWebbedWonder, lenaonme, Violet-Sabrewing

 1:47 pm

TheWebbedWonder: hey guys

TheWebbedWonder: This group chat is amazing!!!

TheWebbedWonder: I’ve never really been part of a group chat before so i love it!!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: To be fair, you didn’t have a phone before Uncle Donald

TheWebbedWonder: Yes, and I am forever grateful to him

ICanDeweyIt: Dadnald strikes again!!

TheWebbedWonder: Anyway

TheWebbedWonder: You know what would be fun?

Lou: what

TheWebbedWonder: Let’s make a group chat for the whole family!!

Lou: But we already have a family gc

TheWebbedWonder: I know

TheWebbedWonder: But we don’t have one with the extended family!!

ICanDeweyIt: omg that’d be so chaotic

ICanDeweyIt: IM IN

TheWebbedWonder: HECK YEAH

new group chat: Family Groupchat!!!

 1:56 pm

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl created chat

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl added Junior-Woodchuck74, ICanDeweyIt, green-sharpie, aw-phooey, Scrooge-McDuck, worldsgreatestadventurer, 22, TheCrashiestCrash, lenaonme, Violet-Sabrewing, and ghostbutler.

aw-phooey: Webs

aw-phooey: We already have a family group chat

Scrooge-McDuck: Aye, I do not need more of these blasted text messages making my phone make noises

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s quite distracting when I’m in a board meeting

green-sharpie: dude just mute the chat

aw-phooey: Louie he is not allowed to mute the chat

aw-phooey: you know the rules

worldsgreatestadventurer: besides that would be no fun >:(

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Hang on

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Im adding more people I just have to find their usernames

Violet-Sabrewing: *I’m

lenaonme: omg vi cmon

Violet-Sabrewing: Lena, we are sisters. You know me well. Did you not think I would correct Webbigail’s grammar?

lenaonme: yea

lenaonme: but webby needs to maintain her excited aesthetic

Violet-Sabrewing: Understandable.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl added worldsgreatestinventor, TotallyNotGizmoduck, ihaveahead!!!, worldsgreatestinvention, Lucky-Gander, mutant-krill!!!!,  purpleisforthegays, Indy_Sabrewing, moonlander-general, and Wine-Aunt

worldsgreatestinventor: what on earth

worldsgreatestinventor: this is ridiculous

TotallyNotGizmoduck: agree to disagree Dr. Gearloose

TotallyNotGizmoduck: This is so cool!!!

worldsgreatestinventor: believe what you want fenton, but i am inherently correct

ICanDeweyIt: like i said

ICanDeweyIt: SO chaotic

worldsgreatestadventurer: Gyro!!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: One of us is gonna have to change

TotallyNotGizmoduck: But Gyro and Lil’ Bulb match!!! It’s so cute!!!

TheCrashiestCrash: aww!!

worldsgreatestinvention: agreed we are adorable

worldsgreatestadventurer: ok now two of us will have to change.

worldsgreatestadventurer: LIL’ BULB

Junior-Woodchuck74: This is going to be so confusing

ICanDeweyIt: AND CHAOTIC

moonlander-general: Dewey, you have a one-track mind.

worldsgreatestinventor: Fenton for the love of all things science I thought I told you to change your ridiculous name!

TotallyNotGizmoduck: I changed it in the Team Science group chat!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: YOU HAVE A TEAM SCIENCE GROUP CHAT????

lenaonme: damn huey

lenaonme: that was intense

green-sharpie: trust me lena u aint seen nothin yet

Violet-Sabrewing: Louie, your grammar is atrocious.

Junior-Woodchuck74: Trust me Vi he knows

Junior-Woodchuck74: He does it on purpose

Scrooge-McDuck: What was that blasted thing you said?

Scrooge-McDuck: For the aztec???

Violet-Sabrewing: I believe you may mean aesthetic?

Violet-Sabrewing: It means for visual appeal.

green-sharpie: right on vi

green-sharpie: lena were finally getting to her

green-sharpie: she understands pop culture

Indy_Sabrewing: I will not let you corrupt my beautiful daughter!

Indy_Sabrewing: She is wonderful the way she is.

Indy_Sabrewing: Of course, if Violet wishes to learn pop culture, she may.

Violet-Sabrewing: I do, thank you Dad!

purpleisforthegays: I, for one, am glad.

lenaonme: SIR

lenaonme: POPS

lenaonme: you have my respect forever

purpleisforthegays: Good to hear!

lenaonme: best name goes to ty sabrewing!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: omg agreed

lenaonme: also he’s right

TheCrashiestCrash: Yeah!

TheCrashiestCrash: I think my friend would agree

purpleisforthegays: Thank you Lena! I love you!

lenaonme: sdfghhgfsldkfsslfdejsdhshdgs

lenaonme: <3 <3

lenaonme: im not gonna do my chores when i’m in teenage rebellion mode tho

purpleisforthegays: Hmm

purpleisforthegays: Disappointing.

Indy_Sabrewing: what did you expect honey

Scrooge-McDuck: Lena what is that… thing you just typed?

moonlander-general: did you just have a stroke? Is she in good health?

ICanDeweyIt: it’s a keysmash Uncle Scrooge

Violet-Sabrewing: It is a way to express intense emotion.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: lena was overwhelmed by the love!! Which we will continue to give because she’s a beautiful angel who deserves all the love in the world!!!

lenaonme: omg webs

lenaonme: 💖💕💜💖💕💖💖💖💜💜💕💕💕💖💖💙

TheCrashiestCrash: it’s like a crash… but in text form!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Somehow, that is accurate.

Violet-Sabrewing: @moonlander-general Lena is okay!

moonlander-general: I am relieved.

moonlander-general: not that I was worried about her

worldsgreatestadventurer: aww, Penny! You care!!

moonlander-general: …

moonlander-general: Fine.

lenaonme: thanks Penny

Junior-Woodchuck74: @worldsgreatestinventor @TotallyNotGizmoduck @ihaveahead!!! @worldsgreatestinvention ADD ME TO THE TEAM SCIENCE GROUPCHAT YOU COWARDS

worldsgreatestinventor: you’re still on about that huh

ihaveahead!!!: done

worldsgreatestinventor: MANNY

ihaveahead!!!: dr. gearloose u should know this by now.

ihaveahead!!!: i am no coward.

worldsgreatestinvention: i can confirm this.

worldsgreatestinventor: YOU CAN’T ADD PEOPLE TO MY GROUP CHAT WITHOUT MY CONSENT

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Actually, it’s technically my groupchat. I set it up.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: Dewey and I set up your account, remember Dr. Gearloose?

worldsgreatestinventor: ...

worldsgreatestinventor: You still need to change your name, Fenton.

TotallyNotGizmoduck: fine.

TotallyNotGizmoduck changed their name to Blathering-Blatherskite

worldsgreatestinventor: That’s not much better.

worldsgreatestadventurer: you also need to change your name gyro!!

worldsgreatestadventurer: you too lil’ bulb

worldsgreatestinvention: i disagree

22: This is becoming tiring.

22 changed worldsgreatestadventurer’s name to Della

22 changed worldsgreatestinventor’s name to Gyro

22 changed worldsgreatestinvention’s name to Lil’ Bulb

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Granny!!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I know you don’t usually use group chats so it’s nice to see you 🥰 💕

22: Webby, I’m sitting across the room from you.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Aw c’mon Granny you know what I mean 💕🥺

22: ...Nice to see you too, dear.

Della: >:O

Della: enough with the soft fluff melting my heart

Della: MRS. B!!!

Della: betrayed by my own housekeeper/bodyguard/mentor *sad emoji*

Junior-Woodchuck74: Mom you know you can actually use emojis right?

Della: whatever

Della changed their name to Adventure-Pilot

Adventure-Pilot: @Gyro truce?

Gyro: Fine.

Gyro: I accept.

Gyro: But don’t believe that this is so easily forgotten!!

Adventure-Pilot: aww I’ve missed our prank wars!!

Gyro changed their name to wildlymisunderstood

wildlymisunderstood: i haven’t.

Adventure-Pilot: awwwww!!!

Adventure-Pilot: I speak Gyro. I know you’re really saying i love you Della and i missed you too!!

wildlymisunderstood: ...i am not. your gyrospeak is incorrect.

Blathering-Blatherskite: I actually speak Gyro and I can attest to this.

Blathering-Blatherskite: He’s actually saying: I hate your prank wars with a passion but I still missed you and I feel responsible for the Spear of Selene breaking down.

wildlymisunderstood: Cabrera!!!

wildlymisunderstood: i told you that in confidence!!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Oh no

Blathering-Blatherskite: I’m “Cabrera” again

wildlymisunderstood: you dug your own grave

Blathering-Blatherskite: DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO GET HIM TO CALL ME FENTON????

green-sharpie: ...i can tell ur really upset about it…

Junior-Woodchuck74: Louie c’mon

aw-phooey: louie

Scrooge-McDuck: bless me bagpipes

Scrooge-McDuck: I do not want to go through this again

Blathering-Blatherskite: ...I may have messed up.

wildlyunderstood: MAY??

lenaonme: tbh we all knew that, mr. mad scientist.

wildlymisunderstood: excuse me! it is doctor mad scientist to you!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: after what happened in Tokyolk I’m not 100% sure you even have a doctorate

lenaonme: damn y’all got to go to tokyolk

lenaonme: lucky

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ikr

Junior-Woodchuck74: trust me it was very stressful

Junior-Woodchuck74: But also fun!

aw-phooey has changed wildlymisunderstood’s name to dr. mad scientist

dr. mad scientist: thank you.

dr. mad scientist: i guess.

Scrooge-McDuck: Aye Gyro, it’s not a secret.

Scrooge-McDuck: But all is well. I never blamed you and neither did Della

Adventure-Pilot: huh, I never knew that. Sorry gy-man

Adventure-Pilot: uncle scrooge is right. I don’t blame you dude

dr. mad scientist: … good to hear, i guess.

dr. mad scientist: i’m glad you’re back, della.

Adventure-Pilot: <3 <3 <3 <3 I love you too!!!!!

dr. mad scientist: ugh, affection. disgusting.

Lil’ Bulb: he loves it.

dr. mad scientist: besides i’m gay.

Adventure-Pilot: that’s not what I meant and you know it.

Junior-Woodchuck74: heck yeah for platonic affection!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: heck yeah!!

ICanDeweyIt: heck yeah!!

mutant-krill!!!!: heck yeah!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: FETHRY

aw-phooey: hi feth!!

green-sharpie: wait there are more people

green-sharpie: this chat is confusing enough, webs.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Just you wait!! I have a list of people I’d like to add that aren’t in the chat yet!!

green-sharpie: wait is this one of your meticulously planned out fantasies-turned-schemes?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yep!!

lenaonme: wow what a surprise.

Violet-Sabrewing: Ah, it’s nice to see another one of your thoughtful plans play out successfully, Webbigail!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: thank you Vi!! 💖💖

mutant-krill!!!!: Hi Huey!! I miss you!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: I miss you too!!

moonlander-general: why are you so passionate about “mutant krill”?

mutant-krill!!!!: my dearest companion, Mitzy, is a mutant krill!!

moonlander-general: hmm. Understood slightly, may need more context in the future.

ICanDeweyIt: i’ll fill you in later Penny dw.

mutant-krill!!!!: Mitzy says hi, everyone.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Hi Mitzy!!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Hi Mitzy!!

Adventure-Pilot: Hi Mitzy!!

aw-phooey: hi mitzy!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Hi, Mitzy!!

Violet-Sabrewing: Even though I have not met you yet.

mutant-krill!!!!: Mitzy says it’s nice to meet you, Violet!!!

mutant-krill!!!!: and I say that, as well!!

Violet-Sabrewing: It’s nice to meet you too, Fethry!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Isn’t it wild that some of our family has just straight up

Junior-Woodchuck74: never met each other

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yeah

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: We should have a big introduction party!!

TheCrashiestCrash: That’d be fun!!

TheCrashiestCrash: i’ll help you plan webs!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Thanks LP!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: @ghostbutler @Junior-Woodchuck74 join the planning committee!

ghostbutler: hmm

ghostbutler: no.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: c’mon you’ll get to prove you’re a better party planner than Huey!

Junior-Woodchuck74: hey!

ghostbutler: i already did that.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Do it again, then!

Indy_Sabrewing: Excuse me, but is that not essentially the purpose of this chat?

Scrooge-McDuck: Ack, the lass is right. this newfangled tech cannot beat face-to-face interactions!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: 🥰

lenaonme: scrooge grandpa moment

aw-phooey: HAHAHAAHAHAHA

Scrooge-McDuck: excuse me lass

aw-phooey: scrooge grandpa moment

Scrooge-McDuck: DONALD DUCK

aw-phooey: hahahahaha

Scrooge-McDuck: I AM YOUR UNCLE

Scrooge-McDuck: Show some respect

Scrooge-McDuck: YOU TOO LENA SABREWING

lenaonme: 😔😔

lenaonme: ��

aw-phooey: you lost my respect a long time ago and you know it

TheCrashiestCrash: You have my respect, Mr. McDee!!

TheCrashiestCrash: So do you Mr. Dee!!

aw-phooey: thank u launchpad

aw-phooey: you have my respect too

Scrooge-McDuck: Aye

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Aww how wholesome!

green-sharpie: this chat is wild

ICanDeweyIt: why dear brother, that’s the point!!

22: Chaos is not a desired concept, Dewey.

Adventure-Pilot: agreed Dew chaos is fun!!

ICanDeweyIt: Heck yeah Mom validation!!

Adventure-Pilot: mom validation is here anytime you want it, sweetie!!

ICanDeweyIt: sdfghgfds

Adventure-Pilot: but also I’m here to spite Mrs. B for changing my glorious name.

dr. mad scientist: wasn’t all that glorious

Adventure-Pilot: you’d better watch yourself, gyro. The prank war is back on!!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Dang, you scared him!! Gyro just got up and sprinted out of the lab!

Scrooge-McDuck: ARE YOU ALL TEXTING WHEN I’M PAYING YOU TO WORK

Blathering-Blatherskite: blathering blatherskite

Junior-Woodchuck74: haha

lenaonme: ssksksksksks

Blathering-Blatherskite: well I can’t very well say it out loud!

TheCrashiestCrash: wait why?

Blathering-Blatherskite: uhhh

Blathering-Blatherskite: gotta go Scrooge just stormed down to the lab

ihaveahead!!!: lol

Wine-Aunt: eh chaos can be pretty useful sometimes.

aw-phooey: @Wine-Aunt change your name there are children here

mutant-krill!!!!: wow that was fast Donnie!

aw-phooey: that’s what happens when you have kids, feth.

Adventure-Pilot: agreed.

22: agreed.

Scrooge-McDuck: agreed.

Indy_Sabrewing: agreed.

purpleisforthegays: agreed.

ICanDeweyIt: aw cmon uncle donald we all know what wine is

ICanDeweyIt: Louie’s even had it before!

green-sharpie: seriously dewford???

aw-phooey: WHAT

aw-phooey: LOUIE DUCK

green-sharpie: brb

Wine-Aunt: haha

ICanDeweyIt: @Wine-Aunt you sowed so much chaos!!

ICanDeweyIt: Teach me ur ways

Wine-Aunt: hmm i’ll consider it. how much will you pay me?

ICanDeweyIt: uhh

ICanDeweyIt: i’m kinda broke

ICanDeweyIt: i spent all my money on tickets to see the featherweights last month with lena

lenaonme: it was lit tho you have to admit that

ICanDeweyIt: true

ICanDeweyIt: @Wine-Aunt n e ways do you accept handwritten personal monologues?

Wine-Aunt: no.

ICanDeweyIt: darn it i have so many of those!

TheCrashiestCrash: I’ll take one, Dewey!

Violet-Sabrewing: Launchpad, you have 25.

TheCrashiestCrash: Oh right!!

ICanDeweyIt: what about being a guest on my coveted youtube talk show, Dewey Dewnite!!!

ICanDeweyIt: also available on TikTok!

Wine-Aunt: honey.

Wine-Aunt: you’d be lucky to have me on your show.

Wine-Aunt: we can add that to your package if you’d prefer?

ICanDeweyIt: uhh sure

ICanDeweyIt: uhh @Scrooge-McDuck @aw-phooey @Adventure-Pilot @22 @ghostbutler please give me money

aw-phooey: no way

22: No way

ghostbutler: no way

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Hi Duckworth!!

ghostbutler: hello Webbigail

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: :D

Adventure-Pilot: I’d give you money but I’m also broke

Adventure-Pilot: I was on the moon for ten years! i don’t have a job, remember?

ICanDeweyIt: oh yeah

ICanDeweyIt: uncle scrooge?

Scrooge-McDuck: it’s bad enough that Louie is consorting with Goldie and seeking her expertise. I will not support or fund your attempts to mimic him

ICanDeweyIt: wait that’s goldie?

ICanDeweyIt: as in AUNT goldie???

Wine-Aunt: this name is not for you.

Scrooge-McDuck: are you sure about that, love?

Wine-Aunt changed their name to wreathedingold

wreathedingold: if you must know, I lost a bet.

TheCrashiestCrash: to who?

Violet-Sabrewing: *whom

Scrooge-McDuck: yes, I would like to know who bested Goldie O’Gilt!!

Scrooge-McDuck: Aside from me, of course

wreathedingold: my granddaughter dickie

Scrooge-McDuck: oh

green-sharpie: >:o @wreathedingold is MY mentor dewford!!

green-sharpie: you already have mom!!

ICanDeweyIt: she can have two mentees!!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: correction:

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: she can have three

wreathedingold: @Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl i refuse to teach you just for that name

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: *surprised pikachu meme*

Scrooge-McDuck: Hey

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl changed their name to TheWebbedWonder

Scrooge-McDuck: HEY

TheWebbedWonder: how’s that?

TheWebbedWonder: Besides Aunt Goldie

wreathedingold: don’t call me that

TheWebbedWonder: i know you’re actually threatened because you think you’re the ultimate scrooge fangirl

wreathedingold: no

lenaonme: sksdkdkskd

TheWebbedWonder: Eh lie to yourself all you want

green-sharpie: daaaaaang webs!!!

green-sharpie: proud of u

22: So am I

TheWebbedWonder: Awww!! 💜💕💖💕💙💜💙💖💕

moonlander-general: why is no one talking about the picture Webby posted

moonlander-general: what is that thing

moonlander-general: is it an earth species??

ICanDeweyIt: PENNY DOESN’T KNOW POKEMON

ICanDeweyIt: @aw-phooey @green-sharpie @Junior-Woodchuck74 @TheWebbedWonder @Blathering-Blatherskite @TheCrashiestCrash @Lil’ Bulb THIS CALLS FOR AN INTERVENTION

moonlander-general: is this “pokemon” really that important?

Blathering-Blatherskite: YES

Blathering-Blatherskite: albeit I really need to get back to work

Blathering-Blatherskite: intervention postponed?

ICanDeweyIt: fine

ICanDeweyIt: like this message if you want to join the Teach Penny Pokemon Group Chat!

This message was liked by Junior-Woodchuck74, aw-phooey, Lil’ Bulb, green-sharpie, Blathering-Blatherskite, Scrooge-McDuck, Adventure-Pilot, mutant-krill!!!!, TheWebbedWonder, lenaonme, Indy_Sabrewing, TheCrashiestCrash, and Lucky-Gander

Lil’ Bulb: add Gyro to the chat

ICanDeweyIt: sdfgfdf ok

dr. mad scientist: do not

ICanDeweyIt: hehehe too late!!

moonlander-general: I did not like the message

moonlander-general: Do not add me to the chat

Adventure-Pilot: You can’t get out of this, Penny

Adventure-Pilot: it’s a coveted earth custom

Adventure-Pilot: also I need to catch up on the latest games

Adventure-Pilot: apparently it’s in the real world now???

dr. mad scientist: wow you are behind

Lil’ Bulb: good thing ur in the chat

Adventure-Pilot: wow rude

aw-phooey: @Lucky-Gander i c u lurking

Lucky-Gander: I am

Lucky-Gander: what was it you said green bean

Lucky-Gander: Vibing?

green-sharpie: YES

green-sharpie: good job uncle gladstone

Lucky-Gander: It was a lucky guess ;)

aw-phooey: of course

mutant-krill!!!!: Hi Gladdy!!!

Lucky-Gander: Hi Fethry!!

Scrooge-McDuck: bless me bagpipes

Scrooge-McDuck: what in dismal downs does that mean?

Lucky-Gander: I’m vibing on a yacht I won yesterday Uncle McDunkle

Scrooge-McDuck: So does it mean freeloading?

Lucky-Gander: I’m not

Lucky-Gander: I won it with my own money

Lucky-Gander: Ooh I just found $20

Scrooge-McDuck: Xandra, coveted goddess of adventure, give me strength to get through this

aw-phooey: 😳

wreathedingold: huh when did you turn religious?

aw-phooey: he’s not

aw-phooey: he’s just mad at me because Panchito, José, and I went on secret adventures with Xandra

Adventure-Pilot: YOU WHAT

aw-phooey: oh no

aw-phooey: @22 @ghostbutler hide me

22: no

ghostbutler: no

22: You dug your own grave

green-sharpie: finally I can stop running

aw-phooey: no you can’t louie

aw-phooey: watch your back

green-sharpie: heck

green-sharpie: @ICanDeweyIt this is your fault dew

TheCrashiestCrash: Hey Webster

TheWebbedWonder: yes LP?

TheCrashiestCrash: You should add Panchito and José to this chat

TheCrashiestCrash: They’re family too!!

aw-phooey: YES

TheWebbedWonder: for sure! @aw-phooey can I get their usernames? They’re not in the McDuck Family Database

Scrooge-McDuck: how did you get into that

Scrooge-McDuck: I did not create that for the intention of a blasted group chat

TheWebbedWonder: On a completely unrelated note, thanks for giving me access to the archives uncle scrooge!!! I really appreciate it!!!

Scrooge-McDuck: bless me bagpipes

Scrooge-McDuck: I don’t like this chat, but you’re family Webbigail. Of course you get access

TheWebbedWonder: SJDKSKFGSKDHGDSGDUSBDGSSBD

TheWebbedWonder: 💕💕💖💖💕💜💜💙💖💖💕💙💕💖💙💜💖💖💙

22: Scrooge McDuck if you have killed my granddaughter I will kill you

Scrooge-McDuck: noted

aw-phooey: i’ll pm you once I defeat dell and find louie @TheWebbedWonder

Adventure-Pilot: YOU WON’T GET AWAY FROM ME THAT EASILY

aw-phooey: yes i will

TheWebbedWonder: Thanks Uncle Donald!!

TheWebbedWonder: @wreathedingold will you mentor me now? I have a different name!

wreathedingold: you still have to pay me

Scrooge-McDuck: Goldie stop running cons on my kids

TheCrashiestCrash: I’ll mentor you Webster!!

TheWebbedWonder: Thanks LP!!

TheCrashiestCrash: anytime!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Our first session will be watching every single Darkwing Duck episode!!

22: Wait that is what we did last week

22: Is Launchpad mentoring me??

Scrooge-McDuck: HAHAHAHA

ghostbutler: HAHAHAHAHA

22: @Scrooge-McDuck @ghostbutler You would do well to watch your backs and sleep with one eye open. Bentina Beakley does not forget insults.

green-sharpie: ooooooo

ICanDeweyIt: *eating-popcorn-gif*

lenaonme: dewey no

Lil’ Bulb: @ICanDeweyIt come on

moonlander-general: I am pleased with the amount of combat sparked from this chat.

aw-phooey: i’m not

Indy_Sabrewing: Neither am I. This is concerning.

Violet-Sabrewing: What did you expect from the McDuck family?

lenaonme: uncle d you’ve been doing half the fighting

Lucky-Gander: Yeah Don you don’t have much of a leg to stand on here.

aw-phooey: tell louie and della to stop acting out then

Adventure-Pilot: You’re the one who acted out!

aw-phooey: oh no, i did stuff with my friends, the horror.

aw-phooey: kids, this is not an example for you to follow.

green-sharpie: darn it!

TheWebbedWonder: @TheCrashiestCrash sounds exciting!! I’m there!!

TheCrashiestCrash: Yay!! Mrs. Beakley can join us as well!!

22: no

TheWebbedWonder: @wreathedingold you’re still mentoring me though

wreathedingold: hmm let me think about that

wreathedingold: no.

TheCrashiestCrash: yes! I am the superior mentor!

 new group chat: Teach Penny and Mom Pokemon Group Chat!!!!

 3:02 pm

ICanDeweyIt created the chat

ICanDeweyIt added moonlander-general, Junior-Woodchuck74, aw-phooey, worldsgreatestinvention, green-sharpie, TotallyNotGizmoduck, Scrooge-McDuck, worldsgreatestadventurer, mutant-krill!!!!, Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl, lenaonme, Indy_Sabrewing, TheCrashiestCrash, worldsgreatestinventor, and Lucky-Gander

 Junior-Woodchuck74: I am not going through this again

Junior-Woodchuck74: @worldsgreatestinventor @worldsgreatestinvention @worldsgreatestadventurer change

worldsgreatestinventor: ugh fine

worldsgreatestinventor changed their name to wildlymisunderstood

worldsgreatestinvention changed their name to Lil’ Bulb

worldsgreatestadventurer changed their name to universesgreatestadventurer

universesgreatestadventurer: HAH

universesgreatestadventurer: @wildlymisunderstood TAKE THAT

wildlymisunderstood: whatever

wildlymisunderstood: it doesn’t have the same ring to it

universesgreatestadventurer: idc

universesgreatestadventurer: i went to space so worldsgreatestadventurer is inaccurate anyway

wildlymisunderstood: well i built the rocket that took you to space so I should be universesgreatestinventor!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Do not change your name Gyro

wildlymisunderstood: it’s dr. gearloose

Junior-Woodchuck74: if you do I’ll make Dewey come over to the lab and give you his 2.5 hour powerpoint presentation about how brilliant High School Musical is

ICanDeweyIt: HEY

ICanDeweyIt: it’s a good movie!

Junior-Woodchuck74: Not as good as you think it is

wildlymisunderstood: fine

ICanDeweyIt: :(

ICanDeweyIt: why must you wound me like this dear brother

moonlander-general left the chat

ICanDeweyIt added moonlander-general

ICanDeweyIt restricted leaving

moonlander-general: Hey!

 Family Group Chat!!!

 5:37 pm

ICanDeweyIt: wow that killed the chat

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: uncle scrooge is having a crisis

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: he won’t let me comfort him :(

mutant-krill!!!!: oh no, is Uncle Scrooge okay?

22: He is fine. He just did not realize something.

22: something obvious.

lenaonme: sssdfgfds

Blathering-Blatherskite: wow, this is like one of M’ma’s telenovas!

Junior-Woodchuck74: @TheWebbedWonder why is Officer Cabrera not in this chat? She’s family too!!

green-sharpie: yeah she makes the best food for family gatherings

lenaonme: agreed.

22: watch yourself, Louie.

ghostbutler: agreed, Louie.

22: I will come for you too, Duckworth!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I don’t have her number/username, Dew.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I told you guys I have a whole list of people i’d add if I could!

Blathering-Blatherskite: I’ll pm it to you Webs once I get off of work.

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: Thanks Fenton!

Scrooge-McDuck: now get back to work, Crackshell-Cabrera!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Right away, sir!

--

2:34 am

Lil’ Bulb: anyone up lol

ihaveahead!!!: yea lol

dr. mad scientist: what the heck go to sleep

dr. mad scientist: heck

dr. mad scientist: heck

dr. mad scientist: heck u

dr. mad scientist: motherhecker

dr. mad scientist: @aw-phooey STOP EDITING MY TEXTS

aw-phooey: this is a family groupchat. with CHILDREN.

aw-phooey: ur a father u should understand

dr. mad scientist: what no im not

Junior-Woodchuck74: What about Boyd?

Lil’ Bulb: what about ME???

aw-phooey: huey go to sleep or i’m taking your phone

Junior-Woodchuck74: what?! I’m the good kid!

ICanDeweyIt: hey!

aw-phooey: that goes for you too dew

TheCrashiestCrash: Haha that rhymes!

dr. mad scientist: @Junior-Woodchuck74 if Boyd wants to live with me he can

Junior-Woodchuck74: He does

dr. mad scientist: well he hasn’t said anything

22: Wow you are dense.

dr. mad scientist: hey!

Blathering-Blatherskite: Oh dear

Blathering-Blatherskite: Huey’s right though Dr. Gearloose…

dr. mad scientist: you’re still on cabrera terms shut up

Blathering-Blatherskite: oh blathering blatherskite

ihaveahead!!!: lol

PM between worldsgreatestinventor and Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl

 3:01 am

worldsgreatestinventor: @adefinitelyrealboy

worldsgreatestinventor: that is boyd’s number

worldsgreatestinventor: add him if you want

worldsgreatestinventor: i don’t care

 3:14 am

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: *wink emoji*

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I’m adding to my journal entries on the McDuck family that you are a father

worldsgreatestinventor: wtf webby you’re supposed to be asleep

worldsgreatestinventor: why am i in your journals

worldsgreatestinventor: erase my entries this instant!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: listen Dr. Gearloose

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I used to think that family means blood

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: but it doesn’t

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I’m family and so are you

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: so is Boyd, not because he’s basically your son but because he’s Huey’s good friend and now mine and the rest of the kids’

read 3:16 am

 3:23 am

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: sorry I didn’t mean to scare you off

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I’m not always great at social stuff

 3:25 am

worldsgreatestinventor: you’re fine

worldsgreatestinventor: i’m not either

worldsgreatestinventor: i left you on read because i didn’t know what to say but

worldsgreatestinventor: thanks webby

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: anytime <3

read 3:26 am

 group chat: Team Uncle McDunkle (les parentals)

Dadnald, Moneybags, acepilot, 22, purpleisforthegays, Indy_Sabrewing

 4:56 am

Dadnald added worldsgreatestinventor

Moneybags: donald go to sleep

Dadnald: nah

worldsgreatestinventor: oh come on

Dadnald: accept it gyro ur a dad now

Dadnald: one of us, one of us

purpleisforthegays: One of us, one of us

acepilot: one of us, one of us

worldsgreatestinventor: oh thank god i don’t have to change my name

acepilot: i’ll make you change it just for that

worldsgreatestinventor: >:(

22: everyone go to sleep right now

 PM between Scrooge-McDuck and Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl

 6:48 am

Scrooge-McDuck: Good morning Webby darling!

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: good morning Uncle Scrooge!

Scrooge-McDuck: You mentioned you have a list of people you would like to add to the family group chat?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: yes, do you have any requests?

Scrooge-McDuck: Perhaps? I’m mailing a letter to my parents today, and I’ve decided to enclose smartphones so they can chat

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: YES

Scrooge-McDuck: Webbigail, I haven’t even asked yet

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: THEY CAN JOIN THE GROUPCHAT

Scrooge-McDuck: I take it they’re on your list?

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: ABSOLUTELY

Scrooge-McDuck: It’ll take a couple days to get through

Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl: I CAN’T WAIT

~

Okay, so there are a lot of names here! here's a nice handy list. The way I designed the chat system is like discord, where you have one set name and you can change it for individual servers, if that makes any sense. The actual chatting part of it isn't like a discord server with separate channels, but a regular text group chat. Hopefully that's not too confusing!

Huey: Junior-Woodchuck74 Dewey: ICanDeweyIt Louie: Lou / green-sharpie* Webby: TheWebbedWonder / Ultimate_Scrooge_Fangirl* Donald: aw-phooey* / Dadnald Scrooge: Scrooge-McDuck* / Moneybags Della: worldsgreatestadventurer* / Adventure-Pilot / universesgreatestadventurer /acepilot Beakley: 22 Launchpad: TheCrashiestCrash Lena: lenaonme Violet: Violet-Sabrewing Duckworth: ghostbutler Gyro: worldsgreatestinventor* / dr mad scientist / wildlymisunderstood Fenton: TotallyNotGizmoduck* / Blathering-Blatherskite Manny: ihaveahead!!! Lil' Bulb: worldsgreatestinvention* / Lil' Bulb Gladstone: Lucky-Gander Fethry: mutant-krill!!!! Indy: Indy_Sabrewing Ty: purpleisforthegays Goldie: Wine-Aunt* / wreathedingold Penny: moonlander-general

*main

thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed! This is mostly just a joke fic but yeah. It's really fun to explore the characters in this kind of low-stakes, fun setting.

btw, I don't usually do multichapter fics because I get long blocks of low motivation and energy, but I've already written two and a half chapters and this fic is by far the easiest to write since it's just silliness. I'd like to have started Chapter 4 before I post Chapter 2 but I don't wanna make you guys wait too long. So probably around a week or so.

Next chapter: Huey finally gets into the Team Science group chat (for no lack of trying on his part), Boyd joins the fray!

Chapter 2

[the-faxx-macheen]

Okay I'm gonna blabber on about my feelings about the finale which I super love and ngl wouldn't change a thing even if I do have like a few minor gripes but they aren't really important, and if anything I may just use some of this as like an au or something maybe who knows anyways I said I was gonna wait but who cares here we go!

Watch out for falling spoilers!!

So first things first whoa webby is a clone theory totally unexpected and yet also totally related to like ideas I had like using the feather clone Scrooge and the Papyrus. So I actually super want to talk about all that and where better else to start… What came first, the duck or the egg? Neither, it was the feather!

Gonna admit I was super blindsided about the feather belonging to Webby, totally thought it belonged to scrooge and that they were going to clone scrooge in order to find the Papyrus. Which well I guess was more or less right but happened way before the finale except also probably not??? There's a possibility that they didn't know the feather belonged to Webby initially either and that it was Scrooge's, perhaps they used the same formula they used to make Webby to make June and May so getting two little girls wasn't a surprise. But even with the possibility of them finding out they used Webby's feather perhaps they thought the girls could still find the Papyrus, but they'd be incredibly wrong with that idea because if Webby being a clone of Scrooge makes her his daughter that would technically make May and June the daughters of Webby - which is a whole other can of worms we just opened right now and i am absolutely throwing out because yikes. ...We'll say it had bugs in it.

Next in the order is omg Webby is Scrooge's daughter I love this because it's everything I wanted since the episode about the statues of the greatest members of clan McDuck. Which I remember fussing to myself about how they totally should have had something about webby being the one deserving of a statue (in the future because yikes kid dying no thank you) and also as a testament to her being a true a member of the McDuck/Duck family which she totally is because holy heck she's literally his actual heir now!!! But then if they'd wrapped that up by alluding to her deserving a statue we probably would have forgotten all about it and besides the reassurance of her being a McDuck was apparently planned to happen in the ending we got. It's not particularly something I got right but I just love how similar the tracks are!

To the final Webby-Scrooge plotline now, the Papyrus! I actually had several ideas for how the papyrus would have gone. First being the Scrooge clone being used to find the Papyrus, which was right albeit in a slightly different way because Webby turned out to be the clone instead of fresh Scrooge clone (see how these are tying up now?). The second actually relates to Huey and the journal in which I suspected perhaps Scrooge's family would be completely incapacitated (they were) except for Huey (he wasn't) and Bradford would attempt to use Huey to get what he wanted with the Papyrus (he tried to convince Huey to help him convince Webby but it was ultimately unneeded read further for my feelings on this matter) by maybe having Huey write it but in the end would be foiled by just how different they actually are (which came true but only as the result of Huey running into the prisoners instead of his own feelings but in the end it kinda did turn into Huey foiling Bradford with his own feelings and the ultimate lesson for him to learn which was "expect the unexpected" and to not let it get to him).

Phew. That's a lot - but we're still not done yet!

The final theory I had about the papyrus was how Bradford was planning to use it to keep Scrooge from adventuring and/or use it to wipe out all adventurous things (another kinda sheesh what is this!), yes and no. Sorta. Bradford was absolutely going to do both of those things however he only planned to stop Scrooge with the Papyrus, the latter was going to be taken care of by his new literal black hole machine. It almost worked except for Gyro stopping the machine and Huey finding a flaw in the contract he wrote on the Papyrus (I was going for a whole "death would be a very big adventure" vibe but the uh usual "family is the biggest adventure" these guys do is good too I guess) by the concept of that literally everything in life is capable of being perceived to be an adventure (truly every life is one as they're all filled with countless mysteries and dangers along the different paths we take).

And now back to Huey and the grievances I have about his usage in the finale. Segues and call backs woohoo!

First I'd like to make a complaint about the Woodchuck Guidebook. I am suuuuuuper bummed they just used a tracking device and didn't use it to help find the library after Huey and Webby left, I'm also disappointed in FOWL for not thinking ahead and having a jamming device (like c'mon guys really?). I was really hoping for more of a callback to how the Guidebook was used in the OG DT for helping them find the Library, but I'll give it a grudging pass because they at least used the arrows (still I'm not happy).

Secondly, it really super sucks the sidelined Huey so much in the finale for the Webby clone stuff. Yeah it's cool but like c'mon man you guys literally gave us a villain who's practically an exact mirror of Huey, if something went wrong to make Huey hate adventuring just like Bradford (which I could totally have seen coming because of Huey's problem with accepting unexpected outcomes much like how Bradford hates the chaos that leads to such unexpections, is that a word…?), and then we only get like a morsel of it. Yes they spotlighted the similarities between Huey and Bradford and yes in the end he's still the one who ultimately defeats Bradford and comes to his own resolution of things happen and the only way is just take things in stride, but stiiiiiilllllllll they barely gave it any real time and it sucks.

The finale is still good, and like I said I wouldn't change it and heck I don't even know how I would! But well those are my feelings on what I think are the major stuff in it. Srsly tho what is up with me being like partially right on this stuff but then going off track because I kept thinking. Need to take my own advice I was thinking at Huey… The answers that you seek are in the questions you have - if you keep turning over rocks you'll only want for more.

[pilyarquitect]

93 with Scrooge and Beakley, I love those two

93. “Don’t make me tape your mouth shut.” Scrooge and Beakley

“What happened then Uncle Scrooge?” the girl with a bow on her hair stopped jumping for a moment “Oh, I love to call you ‘Uncle Scrooge’ Uncle Scrooge!”

Scrooge giggled. How could he have been all this time without trying to know better Webby? She was an amazing child! Very energetic, optimistic, and – something that scared Scrooge a little – plenty of knowledge about him.

The old duck smiled proudly.

“Bless my bagpipes, I’m glad to hear ye calling me like that, lass.”

Webbygail seemed to be plenty of joy after those words. Suddenly the lass cleared her throat.

“Aww… okay so… what happened then?”

Oh, of course, the story…

“Agent 22 found a clue that seemed to lead to F.O.W.L.’s base, and of course, S.H.U.S.H.’s director Von Drake asked me to go with her on a recognition mission-”

“Oh! Did you find F.O.W.L.’s base?” interrupted Webby.

Curse me kilts… she's truly energic! Scrooge cleared his throat.

“Unfortunately, no lass, the place was empty. We just found one of their targets and-”

“And what?” Webby jumped and jumped “What else was there? An agent ready to fight until death? A mortal trap prepared to kill you both that obviously failed on its purpose?”

Scrooge laughed kindly, this lass had an incredible imagination, how many scenarios could have been running on her mind?

“Actually no, what we found was a coffee maker.” The old that admitted.

“Just that?”

Webbygail seemed a little disappointed to hear that, but what else could say Scrooge? That was the truth…

“Yes lass, just that.”

Scrooge had to admit he was… enjoying a little Webby’s deception. Suddenly, the young girl’s attitude changed drastically and excitement returned to her face.

“Oh, I see! This coffee maker was actually a secret weapon camouflaged as if it was something completely not harmful!”

Scrooge eyes opened wide. Where did those ideas come from?

“Well, actually-”

Before he could continue talking, the door opened suddenly and Beakley appeared behind it.

“Webby?”

“Yes… Granny?”

The lass probably knew what came next, and it was clear she didn’t want this to happen.

“It’s time to go to bed darling, you’ll continue talking with Mr. McDuck tomorrow.”

“Awww… but Granny it isn’t too late… couldn’t I be here a little longer?” the lass asked with pleading eyes. Scrooge smiled, Beakley wasn’t easy to convince. It was very unlikely Webby would succeed.

“No darling, you know the rules.”

Totally expectable with Agent 22.

“Rules can be changed if they aren’t fair.” Webby tried to argue, but it was useless.

“Nice try Webby, but not with this one. This is a fair rule, now go to bed.”

“Yes Granny.”

Webby lowered her head totally defeated, she knew it was absurd to argue, her Granny was very inflexible with those issues. Her only and best course of action was to obey.

Scrooge saw how the girl left the room and closed the door behind her.

“Mr. McDuck?”

Oh! Curse me kilts!

“Yes Beakley?” asked Scrooge smiling awkwardly .

“It would be a pleasure if you stop telling my granddaughter about our secret missions.”

Beakley sounded angry, and to be fair, she had some kind of reason to be angry. But in Scrooge’s opinion, he did nothing wrong, oh curse his bagpipes, he took Donald and Della on a mission once. It was the twins first adventure! And both did it amazingly well! Why was Beakley now acting like this with Webby?

“Oh, come on Beakley, the lass is just curious. What could happen to know more about your past and about mine? She admires ye, do ye know that?”

Beakley narrowed her eyes. Okay, that couldn’t be good. It was never good when Beakley narrowed her eyes like this.

“That doesn’t matter! I’m trying to protect her, and one of the ways to do that is to keep her in the dark about my life as a spy.”

Beakley’s point of view, fair, but Scrooge’s point of view wasn’t the same as Agent 22. She should have learned this!

“Ye may think like that Beakley, but I think differently than you, I don’t think I’m doing something wrong just to explain the lass some of our adventures.”

Hands on her hips, that was getting worse…

“That weren’t adventures, they were missions, those are different things!”

Scrooge smiled awkwardly again.

“Technically, I’ve never been a spy, so those weren’t missions for me.” He hoped this would sound as a convincing excuse to his housekeeper. Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky.

“Mr. McDuck?”

“Yes Beakley?”

“Don’t make me tape your mouth shut.”

What?

“Ye wouldn’t do that!” he felt a mixture of anger and fear… fear specially.

Now was Beakley who smiled and looked at him with a proud smile.

“Of course, I would, and you know that. And I’d use that special tape that can’t be taken off so easily, I think you know what I 'm talking about.”

Of course, he did! That tape was one of Von Drake’s inventions. Apparently inoffensive but more useful than the handcuffs of a policeman. Oh, bless his bagpipes… Von Drake was a genius…

“That look in your face makes me think you know what I am talking about.” She turned her back to him and walked towards the window “Here’s the deal, you can explain Webby all the adventures you want, but you can’t tell her anything about any of our missions. Understood?”

She looked at him with a look that suggested only one option, accept, and Scrooge knew perfectly well the consequences of refusing Beakley’s offer. Even the great Scrooge McDuck had his weaknesses… nobody needs to know that of course.

“Okay Beakley, you win.”

Beakley nodded.

“Fine.”

That seemed enough to her. She turned to face Scrooge. The old duck saw a thoughtful expression on her face. What-

“Now one last question, what happened with that coffee maker?”

The old duck opened his eyes wide. Why was Beakley now talking about that?

“The machine? I brought it here, actually ye can see it here.”

He pointed to a place where in fact was placed the coffee maker. Beakley seemed surprised upon seeing it.

“It’s the same machine?”

“Of course! I made it be cleaned since the maker was fully operative, and it makes good coffees. It would be a pity to leave it there.”

“Yeah… I guess…”

Scrooge was confused, why was Beakley acting so… out of her character?

“Oh, come on Beakley, what’s going on?”

Beakley looked away. Scrooge saw her frown… what was she thinking about? What was upsetting her?

“There was nobody there… but we don’t know for sure if that place was related to F.O.W.L. or not. What if this machine is more than it appears?”

“Oh Beakley, don’t be paranoic, it’s just a coffee maker!”

Scrooge couldn’t blame her, to finish F.O.W.L. had been the mission of her life until she left S.H.U.S.H. maybe to know F.O.W.L.  was still out there making her suffer. His housekeeper sighed.

“You may be right, Mr. McDuck. Now, if you excuse me, I’ll say goodnight to my granddaughter.”

Scrooge smiled. Who was he to stop his housekeeper from doing that? Beakley moved to the door and opened it.

“Goodnight Bentina.”

Beakley looked at him surprised and then smiled back.

“Goodnight, Scrooge.”

Unnoticed from any of both, the camera hidden inside the coffee maker recorded all their interaction and remotely sent it to F.O.W.L.’s base.

[threadsketchier]

Hey Sketch! Not to be a pest, but any progress on Libero? It’s my absolute favorite fic for Star Wars or maybe just in general, and I know I’m not the only one on pins and needles!

I KNOW, I AM TOO  (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

On paper, so to speak, I shouldn’t really have an excuse - @alderaan-babe helped me out a ton with figuring out space battle logistics and all that less fun crud.  This is becoming more like...

...ok, time for Dirty Laundry Posting™, Debbie Downer ahoy

I’m slowly mentally edging toward a Blue Screen of Death because of two primary things:

I’m kind of a full-time caregiver to my mom, who’s dying a slow, gruesome death at home and

I need to find a job.

**I’m not going to get into the personal details of how I do have money to live off of right now, but suffice to say it’s not a bottomless Scrooge McDuck pit, eventually it’ll run out.

Very very ironically, after leaving my toxic job in Sept. 2019, I planned on taking a little hiatus and then looking for work again in March.  Ha.  Yeah, laugh with me.  We all know what happened then.  So I put that off, especially when it was a struggle bus to obtain food and supplies for like 2 months straight with all the shortages everywhere.  The amazing thing is, despite confining myself to my apartment for the past 7 months, the year’s gone by too fucking fast.  It’s already enough to deal with helping Mom, doing household chores, ordering and then meticulously cleaning all grocery items, in addition to wanting to stay in fandom by hanging out in 2 separate chat servers and being on Tumblr and seeing my favorite YouTube channels...

It’s been too easy to put the looming Work specter aside from all that.  But I can’t avoid it forever, or else we’ll wind up homeless.  I also don’t want to rejoin humanity.  COVID will definitely kill Mom if I brought the germ home, and I don’t want to get it either because I do not have a good track record with illnesses.  I don’t want to play that game of Russian roulette and be one of those outlier statistics of young healthy people who somehow still managed to die from this shit, or wind up in extreme medical debt if I survived (because of course right now I’m uninsured).  I’d really really prefer to find a remote job, especially because I’m already accustomed to it; I had to do plenty of remote work for my last job.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few months.  Every day is going by so quickly.  I’m terrified that I’m not going to find anything and we’re going to be out on the streets.  And if I DO secure a job, I may not have time for fandom anymore, or so little time that I can’t write anymore.  Now, you’d think that would motivate me to hurry up and finish barfing out the story so that it could be done ahead of me needing to stop having a life, wouldn’t it?  But that’s all I can think about when I try to open the draft and keep typing.  I even have another WIP I foolishly started but I’ve stalled on both of them.  It makes me feel the nihilistic sentiment of, “why does this stuff even matter?  It’s pointless, ephemeral fan blather on the interwebz.”  Fic and fandom aren’t going to rescue me when my bank account is empty and I’m hungry and shelterless.

(Sadly, this is the very point my mother tried to make to me all while I grew up, but I was the arrogant, reckless dreamer who just wanted Experiences™ and fun, fuck the consequences.  Well, they’re catching up to me again now.)

Alas, I wish I was a Twitch streamer or a slime-maker on YouTube, raking in the dough, or somebody with a million Patreon supporters, but I’m not “special” enough for that.  I gotta get in line with the rest of the world, as much as I don’t want to.  I just want to write fic and draw again and try podficcing and yell across the internet at a bunch of nerds I’ve gotten to know all day, but I can’t.  I have to face reality and stick my resume on a prettier template and spend the next several weeks desperately combing through job listings, hoping somebody out there is willing to exploit and whip me as a corporate slave again so I can keep paying the bills.

This post feels extremely relevant right now, even though I know all my readers are lovely and patient and aren’t pressuring me.  The thing is, even though we’re technically not obligated to anything because this content is free...we still kind of are.  Because I chose to start posting in the first place.  I started stringing people along by making the story public.  I do kind of owe it to everyone to either finish the story or explain the rest of the plot, at least, because it’s doing readers a disservice to leave the narrative hanging when I first made that unspoken promise by posting it.  I’m never going to learn my lesson that I’m better off not posting content unless it’s complete to avoid causing this kind of disappointment, both to y’all and myself.  Yeah, Darth Real Life happens, but I still feel I’m in the wrong here.

[dr-gearloose]

DuckTales Theory

So, I’m pretty sure you all know about the 1987 (Original) DuckTales, 1990 (Reboot) The Quack Pack and the 2017 (Reboot) DuckTales.

Well, I have a theory that connects all 3 together. Originally, this started with a theory about Gyro Gearloose, so here’s how all 3 connect.

ACT I: The Original

1987: Donald Duck joins the Navy thus leaving Huey, Dewey and Louie in the hands of Scrooge McDuck. 

Scrooge decides to hire some people to... Help around the house (Mrs. Beakley) Be a pilot (Launchpad McQuack) Count money (Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera) and be the Bin’s Security Guard (Gizmo Duck)

(The reason why Gyro and Duckworth aren’t listed is because I’m pretty sure they were already hired. Okay, back to the regularly scheduled theory.)

Mrs. Beakley brought her granddaughter; Webbigail to the mansion.  Webby always went unnoticed. She only made friends with animals because no one else pays attention.

ACT II: The Quack Pack!

1990: The boys were teenagers now, Donald left the Navy and Huey, Dewey, and Louie have moved in with their Uncle, who now has a girlfriend. Daisy Duck. 

Instead of Gyro, they have Dr. Ludwig Von Strangeduck. (Episode 1) With his newest invention they could become ‘T-Squad’ (just realized how much that sounds like T-Series) Also, their voices were probably higher cause of puberty.

[There’s nothing else to really go off of in Huey, Dewey and Louie’s lives other than their outfits. (We’ll come back to this.)]

As for Webby, I’m going to assume that sometime around the first or second episode maybe? is when she started her spy training and Beakley was hired as an agent.

Gyro is currently on a well deserved vacation. Or did he just travel 26 years into the future? (We’ll come back to this.)

ACT III: The Reboot

2017: Now, there’s A LOT to go off of in the new series! So here we go.

Webby’s grown up. She’s now somewhere around 13, she’s basically a professional spy.

Huey, Dewey and Louie’s outfits have changed. I’m gonna say that Huey is 16, Dewey is 15 and Louie is 14, he’s still in that angsty teen era. 

They’ve also forgotten about Scrooge because of all the adventures. Plus, teenagers wouldn’t really care about a rich uncle too much, would they? They just want a girlfriend...or three.

Duckworth is unfortunately dead, which is pretty clever. Donald and Daisy have unfortunately broken up and forgot about each other. Daisy was busy with her job and Donald is just living his best life. Or at least trying to... (We’ll get back to this.)

Scrooge has grown to like his nephews over time. --

[VILLAIN BREAK!] Ma Beagle: No longer wears her hair in a bun, wears makeup and changed her fashion up a bit.

The Beagle Boys: There’s more of them! [The Déjà Vu’s, The 5th Avenue Friendlies, The 5th Avenue Meanies, Black Arts Beagle, The Ugly Failures, etc.] Their home has downgraded to a Junkyard, they changed their shirts. Bouncer Beagle never skipped a day in the Beagle Gym.  Burger Beagle has S T I C K S for limbs.

The Aliens: They like rockets.

Magica De Spell: She has a niece now!  [VILLAIN BREAK: TO BE CONTINUED...]

--

ACT IV: Spies and Broken Hearts

Since Webby’s been in a mansion basically her whole life, she’s a sucker for adventures and magic! (We’ll get back to this.)

As for Della Duck - When she stole The Spear Of Selene in 1987, it was now her mission to get home. She made friends with an alien named Penumbra.

She finally got home, on Earth in maybe 2017 or 2018. Now we continue the love story of Donald and Daisy: In Season 3, Episode 5 - Louie’s Eleven, we see Daisy’s comeback.  Donald doesn’t recognize her, Daisy doesn’t recognize him. (I still ship it tho)

Daisy was fired from her previous job - a news reporter - so now, who knows where she is in her life now. 

ACT V: Project B.O.Y.D.

Gyro hasn’t traveled 26 years into the future, he’s been on a well deserved vacation, he came back and made a new robot. 2-BO, or B.O.Y.D. A definitely real boy. Akita, however, did not like the idea of 2-BO being a ‘real boy’ so he overrode his programming.

A few years later, Mark Beaks found ‘2-BO’ left in the trunk of Gyro’s car. While Gyro was in the store, looking for things to fix up B.O.Y.D,  Beaks thought that he could take B.O.Y.D and pretend he had a child so he could go to Doofus Drake’s birthday party. While B.O.Y.D was living with Doofus, Gyro decided to get a makeover.

--

[VILLAIN BREAK! PART 2]

Magica De Spell: She dyed her feathers!

Mark Beaks: That one kid who’s WAY ahead of his time and confuses everyone.

Flintheart Glomgold: Still wants to be richer! But he’s chubbier.

Goldie O’Gilt (Technically): She doesn’t have gray hair!

(just realized i did magica twice. oops.) [VILLAIN BREAK: TO BE CONTINUED...]

--

New Glasses / His old glasses were broken by B.O.Y.D due to a malfunction in the programming. New Shirt / The previous shirt he owned was not only uncomfortable, but was torn while testing B.O.Y.D for the first time. There was a malfunction, causing B.O.Y.D to attack Gyro. New Hat / The straps were uncomfortable. New Haircut / There’s no real reason for this other than he just wanted to change his style a bit.

ACT VI: Gizmoduck  Fenton had been working on Gizmoduck, improving the suit’s self defense system and stuff. Soon enough, Gizmoduck was everywhere! TV, the News, saving people! 

Also, Fenton’s skin/feathers changed because he probably got a sun-tan. 

[VILLAIN BREAK! PART 3]

Waddleduck (Technically): Gizmoduck but he’s Mark Beaks.

Negaduck: He’s back and also has a double personality!

Magica’s Shadow: ...gone?

Tulpas: THEY ENVY THE POPULARITY THAT THE OTHERS HA-

[VILLAIN BREAK: THE END]

ACT VII: Lena De Spell 

Lena was created by Magica De Spell, you all know this. But how did she learn to do this? Well, in the 1987 series there was an episode in Season 1 named ‘Magica’s Shadow War’ it wasn’t a 2 part episode or anything special. But it was the first appearance the Magica’s ability to create shadows and make a shadow army. 

With this new knowledge, she took it upon herself to first, improve her old outfit and get a more modern look. Less trickery and bribery. She was gonna get that dime...but she needed a puppet. She couldn’t do it herself.

Before she knew it, she was in Scrooge’s dime. The thing she wanted most, she was now shown on... But before this, she performed the same spell from all those years ago... And brought her shadow to life, she swore that if she found a puppet, that shadow would be connected to them for as long as she’s in that dime.

What if I told you... Lena’s not a shadow. She was bribed into being Magica’s puppet. Even though she said ‘No more trickery or bribery’ she had to so she could convince Lena to be her new puppet. 

Whenever she wanted, she could come out and yell at Lena to get the dime so she’d be free. 

When she finally had the dime, I bet you’re wondering how she could be banished to the SHADOW realm if Lena’s not a shadow. Well, that’s just it... She wasn’t in the shadow realm. She was in Limbo. 

The realm between life and death.

Lena was able to help every so often... Thanks to Violet Sabrewing and Webby, she was freed.

ACT IX: The Quack Pack! (2017)

Season 3, Episode 2: The Quack Pack! This is a short one, but remember when I told you to remember their outfits from 1990? 

No? 

Good! ‘Cause I never did. :) I just said ‘...other than their outfits. (We’ll come back to this)’ 

So, the 1990s Quack Pack was slightly different. I mean the outfits. 1. Donald had a Hawaiian type shirt. 2. Louie’s shirt was different and had a hat. 3. Daisy existed.

But anyways, they brought the outfits back! 

ACT X: The End.

TL;DR: ACT 1: Scrooge hires a bunch of people and only cares about money. ACT 2: The nephews and Donald forgot Scrooge and Donald is dating Daisy. ACT 3: Huey is 16, Dewey is 15, and Louie is 14. Duckworth died ACT 4: Webby loves magic and adventure now, Della was stuck on the moon for 20 decades, Donald and Daisy broke up, Daisy was fired from her old job. ACT 5: Gyro invented BOYD and then BOYD was stolen by Mark Beaks. Also, Gyro got a makeover. ACT 6: Fenton improved his Gizmoduck suit. ACT 7: Lena isn’t a shadow, Magica learned how to bring her shadow to life and cursed Lena until she got the dime and then Lena was stuck in Limbo for a while. ACT 8: The Quack Pack made a comeback in Season 3. ACT 9: You’re reading ACT 9, why did I add this one?

Everything here is a theory. Not facts. And I can’t believe this all started with a little theory about Gyro’s change of style!

Just gonna say this now: I totally ship Fenton x Gyro. Don’t @ me.

[sirfrogsworth]

*not accounting for inflation or cost of living expenses

Let’s add some important context to Trump’s not-so-humble brag. 

First, the top 5% seem to be the ones seeing dramatic wage increases. If you remove the top half of this graph things aren’t as impressive as our President claims. 

For the non-wealthy, wages continue to stagnate while the cost of living increases.

Sure, more people are working. 

Some people are technically earning higher wages. 

But their labor is not valued properly. A living wage is a thing of the past.

Trump always brags about how great “his” economy is doing. But he judges it by things like the stock market and GDP. But 48% of US adults do not even own stock. And when you look at the distribution of stock ownership, it shows that the bottom 90% only own a pittance comparatively. 

He never seems to acknowledge that the economy isn’t great for everyone. 

Nearly half the population is a medical emergency away from bankruptcy. And while millions of people are struggling with this financial anxiety, Trump continues to tell people they are actually doing great despite their low paying jobs and 4 roommates. 

Maybe if they do bunk beds they can split the rent 8 ways. 

Trump’s go-to reason for keeping him in office is a farce for most Americans. Yet the people ignoring his corruption, lies, and amorality keep propping him up. 

Some do it to totally own the Libs. Some do it because they are fellow bigots. Some do it because they think Democrats want to rip nearly developed fetuses from as many wombs as possible. 

And then there are these delusional dumbasses.

Just 25 more years and I’ll have my own Money Bin like Scrooge McDuck. 

You’ll see. 

You will ALL see. 

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

Who are the top 10 characters youd like to see be added to disney heroes battle mode?

Was kinda hard to narrow it down to just 10, but here we go~

1. Anyone of the Fearsome Five. Obviously I'm leaning towards QuackerJack, but considering our boy got put in Minecraft recently alongside Megavolt, Liquidator and (technically) Negaduck, I'd say it's more fair for Bushroot to get some spotlight. ***Actually, upon looking up any future update notes while making this list, I found out Megavolt is apparently rumored to be an upcoming character, so hooray~***

2. Max Goof (specifically "An Extremely Goofy Movie" variation). We got Goofy, why not his son?

3. Donald Duck. We got Goofy and Mickey so far, where's Donald, guys?

4. 1987 Scrooge McDuck. Alternate Costume: The Masked Mallard.

5. Todd and Copper, from "The Fox and the Hound". This movie always made me cry, and was probably the first movie that I actually paid attention to besides just being captivated by the moving animals on the screen. I know that they can't be friends forever, but at least let me enjoy seeing a few more adventures of them before that reality sets in. 😭

6. Fred from "Big Hero 6". We already have Hiro and Baymax, Fred would fit perfectly, and I'm sure he'd have a few entertaining potential friend campaigns.

7. Tarzan. Alternate costume: that nice suit. Dude can already talk to animals, he could have a great side campaign with Stitch or any of the Lion King characters.

8. Gantu, since we already have Stitch. We could use a little more Gantu.

9. Cheshire Cat. Can you already see this guy trolling everyone??

10. Sora. I think it's pretty obvious why I think this would be a great idea. I've only really been able to play "Chain of Memories" (via GBA emulator) and "Dream Drop Distance" (I have a legitimate copy this time), and I got the manga adaptions of KH1 and CoM... But I think I can appreciate Sora.

Honorable Mentions:

- Rescue Rangers... But Mickey is a mouse too, so how would we address that Monterey Jack and Gadget are mice and Mickey's a mouse? Also, can you imagine how small the sprites would have to be??

- Mulan and/or Mushu... Why aren't they there yet?

- Kim Possible... But she's already confirmed

- Huey, Dewey and Louie... are confirmed

- Anyone from the Hundred Acre Woods... But do I really want to see Winnie the Pooh get hurt..?

- I'd say anyone from "The Jungle Book", but then if they implement anything from "TaleSpin", this would become a bit of a snarl there. 👀

- Kronk

- Oswald