#Apologies for taking time to answer it I'm struggling to get motivated lately

[oculusxcaro]

What kind of food do they serve at Pauli's Diner? What does Khare find herself cooking during her shift?

Pauli's Diner serves classic 50's American cuisine! The menu is pretty extensive with retro classics like burgers and fries, steak, hot dogs, fried chicken, caesar salad, wings, pizza, pasta, basically your lunch time classics with a heavy focus on breakfast such as pancakes, waffles, french toast, eggs, bacon and other fried foods. There's pretty much everything you can think of and what self-respecting diner skips dessert? The milkshakes at Pauli's Diner are renowned as the best in Gotham, made with actual fruit and ice cold milk to give it that famous taste. Strawberry, chocolate, banana are all traditional favourites but Oreo, Peanut Butter and seasonal specials like Tropical (in Summer) or Pumpkin Spice (during Fall) are known to make appearances!

Working at night, Khare usually finds herself helping out in the kitchen if multiple meals require attention. Normally these are things like burgers, chicken, fish, pizza, often things that requires a little custom work (the gentleman at table three insisted on no pickles!) while the main night cook sees everyone gets served at the same time. Jerry's quick and efficient at his work but Gotham is busy even at night what with many night-time wanderers looking for a meal after (or before) work. More often than not, Khare is getting things ready for the breakfast rush, preparing batter for pancakes, baking muffins and preparing bagels (and other quick meals on the go) for early risers on their way to work around the city. Basically it's your hearty all-american fare that's not always the healthiest but certainly delicious and filling while being cheap enough to make it a favourite of many, be they poor or rich businessmen in too much of a hurry to cook their own breakfasts. The menu has classics not commonly found outside of the 50's diner theme but they do have a few twists such as a section for Soul Food as Jerry is AMAZING at cooking those dishes.

[adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass]

do you have any recommendations for how to handle an understimulating university environment? i dropped out a year and a half ago after failing spectacularly, then realised i had adhd.

i remember being incredibly bored in every class despite the degree being the thing i'm most interested in. help, how do i fix this? i really would like to go back some day!

Hello! Thank you for your question❤️

Apologies for the late reply, depression has really been kicking my butt this year.

As someone who has struggled with this exact thing I will tell you right away that it isn’t an easy fix. It’s a process and you might have to go through some trial and error before you find something that works for you. I can’t promise I have the right answer for you but I will do my best.

What I can offer are some suggestions on how maintain your interest and thus your focus and motivation.

1. Make the subject more interesting

This can be tricky when you’re doing something you already know you enjoy but still feel understimulated. Try finding or incorporating at least one tiny tidbit of information that interest you and focus on that in order to keep up your general interest.

As an example: I once took a class on the history of crisis, and there was a lot of stuff in there that didn’t really interest me even though I liked the subject in general. It was hard to motivate myself at the start. However I was able to incorporate one of my special interests into my essay for that class and that made the entire thing much more enjoyable because I was able to gush and learn more about my special interest.

2. Stimulate yourself to prevent boredom🧠

The general idea is to occupy yourself with something minor that allows you to listen and participate without suffering through overwhelming understimulation. Some suggestions are:

Making fun/interesting notes. Draw charts, diagrams, make little boxes or circles around your text, draw arrows, add little thought bubbles or clouds, whatever floats your boat.

Drawing

Fidget toys, they can be anything for a ball of sticky putty, necklaces, rings, kneadable erasors to just a simple hairtie.

Fidgeting, some examples of non-disruptive fidgeting are: rolling or twirling a pen between your fingers (resist the alluring urge to click your pen so as not to bother others), dangling your legs back and forth, wiggling your feet/toes, tapping your fingers against each other, chewing gum etc

Knitting/crocheting/other hand-based work that is easily portable.

Be aware that some of these require that you not get too distracted by what you’re doing, it might be a good idea to try different things until you find one that doesn’t take away too much of your concentration.

3. Use external motivators

This one might be a hit or miss depending on your personality but for many people external motivation can really help you stay focused when internal motivation is lacking. Some examples of external motivators are:

Sitting in front. By sitting in front you have a more direct view of the person speaking and this helps engage you in what they’re teaching. You also have their eyes on you more often which will act as an external reminder to pay attention.

Join studious peers. This works as a sort of body double system. If I see that the people next to me are paying close attention that makes me want to do the same.

Reward yourself when you successfully maintain focus with something you look forward to. This can be anything from getting a treat to some extra minutes gaming time later that day, whatever sparks your dopamine.

As an example: I used to have 45-minute lectures with a 10-15 minute break and then another 45-60 minute lecture after that. If I had paid attention and made good notes after the first 45 minutes I would treat myself to coffe and a pastry from the caféteria during our break. This was a way for me to reward myself for doing a good job. So whenever I felt my motivation lacking I would remind myself that I needed to pay attention if I wanted that cinnamon bun later on.

🌼I hope these answers were helpful to you. Remember to be kind to yourself and don’t judge yourself if things don’t work out right away. 🌼

Thank you for reading and good luck🌼

[askthe-iii-shipchildren]

Hey fellass Infinite here

So lately I have been sort of slowing down on answering the asks and I'm very sorry about that =[

I hate to say it but my motivation has gone down a little but this ISN'T me saying that imma leave this blog behind, and then pull a MePhone with another new ask blog (looks at ask the final 4) .. yeah.

I'm just gonna take a break for a few days and see how I feel, thank you all for the support for the blog, it means a lot that you all love these kiddos =]

Also I may be posting a few other things on this from time to time maybe it's the kids, it's just answering stuff thats a struggle for me rn

Alright this is getting too long oops, I will say really quick that if your ask hasn't been answered for a while, it most likely means that I jus don't know HOW to answer it, so apologies for that =[

[ichika27]

OnS Chapter 128

My mouse needing replacement I still haven't gotten (I still don't have the money for it at the moment) makes taking screenshots difficult and then tumblr making an annoying "twitter-fied" update made me lose motivation to read this chapter cause I like blogging what I read especially this series. I love this series too much to not yell it out in the void that is tumblr lol.

I used some extensions recommended by other users so that the tumblr layout would be the same as before so I'm sort of okay but I'm still sad the post boxes are a bit thinner than they used to be. I'm struggling a bit with the mouse but it's fine. So yeah, this is late lol

The aftermath of last chapter's tragic events.

Bael comes into the room and sees Paimon dead and angel Mikaela's corpse being cradled by the king. Bael wonders if Paimon killed himself because if he did, that is considered a sin by God which meant Paimon's soul probably would get punished (not sure if it's going to hell or anything cause Shika Madu cut him off before he could finish the sentence).

Bael tried to be supportive and tells Shika Madu this event is just another trial and things could still go well but Shika Madu is having none of it.

Shika Madu just feels tired, helpless, and terrible and he doesn't want to accept the current situation. Their goal has always been to go back to Paradise where God is but Shika Madu is now questioning that goal as the road to it is filled with nothing but pain.

And he just had to find out at that moment that even Bael is sick. bael apologizes cause he knows he won't be around for long enough to help his king.

Bael still tries to be encouraging and tells his king to keep moving forward to Paradise, even if he'd end up going alone. Shika Madu is frustrated at the unfairness of it all.

And Bael tells him he'd be staying behind with Paimon. He also explains that unlike Paimon, he had no expectations. He's not doing all this because he wants the King to fulfil some kind of goal nor did he want to go to Pradise and see God. When Shika Madu asked what Bael wanted, Bael looks at the dead Paimon and answers that whatever it was, he'd no longer be able to get it now. So now all Bael could do is whatever would be asked of him and if Shika Madu wants to start a resistance, he'd be of help if told to.

Bael then takes Paimon's corpse with him and leaves Shika Madu with angel Mikaela's corpse. Now alone (well, technically he can't see Yuu-chan and Mika there), he is left to conteplate on what he should do next and all he knows is that he's at a loss.

Next we see of Shika Madu, he's at a graveyard. Bael had also killed himself so he would be with Paimon in death. Even their graves are shown to be right next to one another's which is pretty sweet considering how close they were.

Their long time goal has finally been met but Shika Madu wonders what the point is now that they've lost so many people in the way. After asking that question, Amon looks to his side and we are shown Belial's grave.

Astaroth answers that there's a reason: to be the first to get to Paradise for the sake of everyone that have passed away. Shika Madu agrees and tells everyone to get ready and tell the others that they'd finally leave the next day.

Shika Madu researches and we get a bit of explanation: the light they've been collecting all this time is power that God had created and it's what they needed to return home. It could also make miracles happen but the angels can't use it this way and if they did anything taboo, they get punished and the worst sins all involve life and death.

But he found some kind of loophole via doing experiments - one of which is how angel Mikaela was created.

He places angel Mikaela in a coffin and asks God if this was his punishment.

God gave him no answer so he just thought of one on his own: commit more taboos using the light they were able to collect. He'd first resurrect angel Mikaela then everyone else as he refused to leave anyone behind.

Homonculus Yuu is okay! And he's got his orders to convert all the light they collected within Babel into darkness. As homonculus Yuu does his job, Shika Madu waits for anything at all to happen whether he be punished or something stops them but nothing does.

And then they appear. It also seems they might have destroyed homonculus Yuu.

--

Okay... I guess we're finally getting to the scene where Shika Madu gets punished and the appearance of the seraphs. I feel bad for him cause yeah, what happened isn't fair. He and the rest have succeeded in getting the power they needed for their goal but they lost so many important people along the way.

Um... can't really tell me not to ship Bael/Paimon after this chapter lol. I wonder what it was that Bael wanted had Paimon not died? Bael is pretty contradictory in a way, I think as he's telling Shika Madu he'd support whatever the latter wants to do while trying to convince him to go through with going to paradise as it was what they (especially Paimon) would've wanted) but then dying after. Bael's death though helped in making Shika Madu find his own choice more acceptable though as Bael's death just added to the pile of people Shika Madu lost.

Shika Madu has proven he cares about his comrades and the rest of his subjects as he's willing to push the limit of what he's allowed to do but he doesn't seem to feel the same way about their current incarnations. My guess back then and even now is that they probably aren't completely the same as what they're used to be and so he doesn't consider them the same person. It's the same with his son Mikaela. If just reviving Mikaela was the goal then he'd have already succeeded as Mika is alive (well, he's currently a demon but still). But he still wants to revive the real angel Mikaela - the one with the memories and the person he spent his time with as family. It's not perfect unless they're the exact same people he's lost.

One of the themes of this entire series from the start is "family". Yuu had to learn and accept he had one in the Hyakuya orphans after his traumatic experience with his real parents and later he had to learn to accept the rest of the Shinoa squad as his new family after he lost the other orphans. Guren also lost his friends who were as important as family to him. Ashera wanted to get reunited with his sister and later, said sister wants to see him again when they got separated. Now they reveal Shika Madu losing what's basically his entire family is what started all this.

This manga felt like a roller coaster and so many things happened and not gonna lie, I'm still not sure the author knows exactly where all this is going but he seems adamant that this story will be about family. I think that's amazing lol.

I have already started reading the chapter after this one but I'd make a post maybe tomorrow hehe. I wish I could do a 2-in-1 but these chapters needed a bunch of screenshots taken. So much lore...

[kafus]

Do you have any advice for people that want to get into programming?

oops, we've been archiving old art today and got to this late, apologies!

so i'm going to assume that you mean as a hobbyist and not as a professional because i am only a hobbyist who likes coding simple websites. i think depending on how serious you want to take programming there's a lot of different potential answers to this question and everyone's different, so take me with a grain of salt, but i can answer from my own experience!

i earnestly think the best way to start with programming is to start making a project that aligns with interests you already have, and keep it small. i don't mean jump into that massive dream video game immediately, that'll lead to burnout fast! for me it was blue moon falls, taking it one page at a time. i slowly graduated from struggling on basic html/css stuff to making decently complex javascript calculators. my love for pokemon really carried me through a lot of the parts where i felt stuck or frustrated, so if you have an interest like that and can make something for it, even if it's silly, i highly recommend it! not only does it help with motivation but it leads you to naturally picking up new skills as you go. for instance, i learned how to intimately work with multi-dimensional arrays while working on my gen 1 pokemon shiny tool!

also, please do remember that it's okay to struggle on parts that other people seem to have an easy time with, that doesn't make you a bad programmer. and it's okay to ask for help! google and stack overflow are your friends - even professional programmers (including the likes of my IRL father) will tell you that programming, even professionally, is partially just "professional googling." it is normal to be confused and it is normal to have to cobble together code by copy/pasting off of stack overflow and w3schools and whatever, you are doing it "right" ww (there is no true right or wrong, everyone learns differently)

if you have any more specific questions i'm always open to talking about neocities and stuff!

[taliah-tezel]

"You've been taking pills since she died?" Just to confirm, she couldn't help but think about the fact that was months ago. He had been drowning for months, and aside from thinking he was grieving and sad, she hadn't noticed, hadn't picked up on it. What sort of friend did that make her? "I think if you had the strength to refuse when you not only wanted to, but when it was right in front of you, then you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for." Taliah nods, not dismissive of his struggle, but wanting to give the praise where she felt like it was warranted. "But yes, it was shitty timing. I imagine you've got some making up to do." To Lydia and Logan, that was.

"There's a few things I want to talk with you about, and I want to help you, Nate, however I can. Because there isn't a part of me that judges you, not ever, I want to be there for you like you've always been there for me. I want to be the friend you deserve and need, but before I do that, there is something that we need to chat about." Placing her knife and fork down, she really just wanted to get this specific topic out there and done because she wasn't quite sure how he'd take it.

"I heard about what happened between you and Cole. And if I'm going to speak no bullshit, it's a worry for me." Not just for her, she's sure, but in this discussion, she wanted to address how it made her feel. "I worry enough about all of you, and the handful of peace I have is that you all look out for each other, you go into things sharp and focused... And by your own admission, that hasn't been you lately." Taliah sits back and shrugs. "You're Cole's right hand, and I wonder how long you compromised his safety because you pretended to be fit for runs, until it became apparent that you weren't." With a roll of her shoulder, she lifts her eyes up to look at him. "I'm not trying to drive a knife in or highlight your mistakes, I'm not looking for an apology, I'm sure it's something you regret," at least she hoped so.

"What I'm actually getting at is a lot more formal, I have just one question. Because I can forgive past sins, no situation arose, luckily, where you'd have been needed to defend." She meant that nothing tragic happened that may have turned out worse if he hadn't been on the ball. "My question to you is simple. If tomorrow, something happened that required you to be at Cole's side, a VP, laser-sharp and ready, could I trust you're in a fit enough state with yourself to be that person for him?" Taliah only wanted the truth, because outside of this, his answer would also help her as his friend, to understand what they needed to rebuild to return him to a state of stability. For the minute, however, her newer responsibility as an old lady needed to take the wheel. She no longer had the privilege of being just a friend, that much she'd learned from watching Laura and Rowan over the years. What she wanted from him was for him to convince her, a motive that was partly a selfish one as a woman who just desperately needed to know that her man had every member of his club ready and armed at his side.

He sighed at her question, shaking his head faintly. That wasn't a no, that was his reaction to everything he thought, not an indirect answer. "I'm struggling with life, T." he scoffed at himself, more so at his admittance. It was pathetic, honestly. It didn't mean to sound as depressive as it came out, it was just how it was. He was struggling with the fact that he was trying to stay clean, he was struggling with the fact that he didn't want to right now, he was struggling with fucking up some of the relationships around him, and he was struggling with keeping his head above the water. But he was doing so.

"Yeah something like that." he wasn't about to go off into detail about what he had done, because he felt like he didn't need to. He also didn't want to be like yeah I smashed the shit out of a mirror because I didn't want to see myself. He nodded faintly, looking towards her as her voice grew stern, to then focusing back down on his plate. Sighing he ate a bit more, though really it just tasted more on that scale of nothing because his entire mood had just dragged his appetite.

Her question had him putting his fork down once again, drinking some more water before he leaned back in his chair. "Yeah... Cassie died and I stopped sleeping so I helped myself out." which was what he thought he was doing at the time. It's what he had convinced himself he was doing. "I'm not on anything now." he wasn't taking any pills, nor alcohol, he hadn't even touched a cigarette either. It was why his status was currently nothing short of miserable. "I left because I wanted more," he begins, already assuming for himself she was going to ask, so he thought he'd just answer her without her even needing to ask, "I had the chance to and I didn't use, I wanted to... I still want to, but I'm... here and not there." he figured he could only be honest. "It was shitty timing, I know that, I know I need to fix that."

[lunathebee]

[11:02]

Ok guess what I'm back with another sad sopping stuff and it's still about Steven, can I call this a drabble?

Y/n is Steven's lover, and she struggles with making friends at work. When she thought she was doing a good job, reality hits her in the face.

It was a Saturday morning and Y/n had forgotten about an important meeting, her brain tricking her into thinking it was a normal day, and by the time she realized it, it was too late.

But the thing that made Y/N sad wasn't her boss being mad; it was her co-worker.

"You aren't in the meeting this morning?" A woman in a beige pencil skirt said, holding a cup of coffee in her hand. She seems surprised when Y/n is having a breakdown over the meeting.

"I- I don't know, I DO know there would be a meeting, somehow I- I forgot?!"

"Well, you should tell the boss" The woman said before leaving to get back to her seat, pretending to be busy with the paperwork.

Y/N has no choice but to also take a seat and quickly type an apology message to her boss. After hitting the send button, she doesn't have the energy or motivation to finish the work anymore.

===

"Love! You're home early" Steven said when Y/N walked through the front door, but his joy quickly turned to concern when he noticed she had been crying."Did something happen?..."  

Y/n doesn't say anything back; she just slowly sits down and holds her knees close to her chest before starting to cry loudly. This of course makes Steven's worries skyrocket, and he quickly rushes to her side to see what's wrong.

"Love, hey hey why are you crying?" The British man held onto Y/n's hand, the warmth from his hand making her calm down a bit, but not enough to stop her from crying.

"Do..Do you think people hate me Steven?"

"What? No, who would hate you?"

Y/n wiped her tears with the jacket's sleeve; it already had a big wet patch now. "My coworkers, whom I have known for more than three years. Do you think they hate me?"

Y/n doesn't wait for Steven to answer; she continues to speak. "Today I have an important meeting, and... it was my fault; I forgot about it somehow, but it was a two-hour meeting, and no one texts me, or calls me, or whatever... they don't even notice I wasn't there."

Steven's heart clenched at Y/n's words. His lover is like the sun; she is warm-hearted and always trying her best. Steven never failed to notice her presence; how could he? And yet here she is, talking about herself like she's just a dull piece of rock or a puddle of mud.

"Oh...love-"

"I WORKED WITH HER, I ATE LUNCH WITH HER, I CHATTED WITH HER; I have done everything, I thought she was my friend! ..." Y/n suddenly feels angry and frustrated; she doesn't realize her voice is so loud Steven was taken back.

"And not just her, NOBODY noticed I wasn't at the meeting; all the co-workers... STUPID, this workplace is a goddamn PAIN" She threw her suitcase across the room; it made a loud slam when hitting the floor before sliding under the table.

Steven cringed at the sound before turning his attention back to Y/n, her face full of dry and wet tears, her eyes puffy and red, not to mention her nose too.

"Love, I know you have tried your best, and if someone can't realize that, it's their fault, not yours" Steven stopped for a moment to look at Y/n's reaction, making sure she was listening to him. "There are still people who are worth your love and kindness, people that you can trust to be friends with"

Y/n bites her lips to stop herself from crying, and she lets Steven hug her afterwards, listening to him rant about fun Egyptian facts before dozing off to sleep in his embrace.

"Take some rest, darling. I love you" Steven brushed off the strain of hair on Y/N's face before giving her a small kiss, admiring the subtle smile on her face.

[spacecasehobbit]

I keep struggling to write up Zuko meta around the Crossroads of Destiny and after, mainly because I don't want to start up a bunch of arguments about Katara vs. Zuko and who was more wrong. And I still very much don't want that. (I love a good faith debate about fictional stories, but those good faith and fictional stories bits are key.)

There is one piece I need to toss out into the void to get it out of my head, though, because I see it all the time and disagree with it so completely.

Zuko didn't betray Katara in Ba Sing Se.

Betrayal is a violation of someone's trust, and yes Katara had started to trust Zuko. However! Zuko never promised Katara anything. Her tentative trust was based on her own lack of understanding of Zuko's situation.

Katara yells at Zuko and accuses him of working with Azula. She tells him that he's the Fire Lord's son, so "spreading violence and hatred is in [his] blood." Zuko tells her that she doesn't know what she's talking about, to which she responds by telling him that the Fire Nation had taken her mother. Zuko reaches out to Katara and shares how he lost his mother, too.

Katara apologizes to him for yelling, and then talks about how she used to picture his face as the face of the enemy. Zuko assumes that she's talking about his scar, to which she clarifies that's not what she meant. Even so, Zuko shares with her that for a long time he viewed his scar as, "the mark of the banished prince, cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately, I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark."

Some important things here, from Zuko's side. This is Zuko saying that he's growing to accept his scar, and to accept that it doesn't control him. He has not said that he's chosen a new side in the war, or even that he knows what destiny he will choose now that he feels free to choose.

At this point, Katara still doesn't know the whole story of Zuko's scar. What she does know, is that he saw it as the mark that cursed him to chase Aang forever. Zuko is already realizing that his scar doesn't have to control him, but it does still weigh on him. So Katara offers to heal it, thus "freeing" him of the destiny of chasing Aang.

And Zuko doesn't take her up on it immediately. He is clearly considering it, but he hasn't agreed or promised Katara anything when they are interrupted by Aang and Iroh's arrival. When Aang shows up, the moment between Katara and Zuko is shattered and Katara runs over to hug Aang in relief, while Aang glares at Zuko in distrust over her shoulder.

Katara may have thought that she was, "giving Zuko a chance," and that he betrayed her trust, but Zuko has already lampshaded the truth for us with his first line to Katara - she doesn't know him, she doesn't know the full context of his situation or motivations, and she doesn't get to tell him who he is or how he feels about the world. She has made a lot of assumptions, some kind and some less so, but the first genuine question she asks is what Zuko would do if she healed his scar. That is a question Zuko never gets to answer before they're interrupted, and thus Katara only had her assumption of what his answer would have been and what it would have meant.

(Which is in character for Katara! She's a young girl who has very strong opinions and morals and is willing to stand up for what she believes is right, but who is still in many ways lacking experience with the wider world (yes, she's traveled a lot with Aang, now, but S3 shows us that she still has things to learn, especially about the Fire Nation, and about herself and the kind of person she wants to be when she has the power to choose). She is also very compassionate, and she clearly wants people she feels any kind of sympathy for to be on her side. The flip side of those things is that she also tends to assume things about other people without confirming the truth, and then act as though her assumptions are facts.)

Katara's assumptions being wrong, however, does not constitute a betrayal on Zuko's part.

[harmonizingsunsets]

Polin Week Day 4: Prompt - Jealousy

Touching A Live Wire

After dragging Colin by the arm through her and Eloise's flat with one hand, Penelope slams the door behind them with the other.

She folds her arms across her chest and looks him in the eye for the first time since they left her work party early. He'd looked apologetic, following her wordlessly to the car and remaining silent during the entire drive to the flat.  

"You have five seconds to apologize."

Colin sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "Penelope, this is a misunderstanding."

"Five," she starts counting.

"I didn't mean to say it that loud!"

Penelope's lips curl further in anger. "Four."

"Wait, let me explain why I—."

"Three," she interrupts, tapping her foot loudly on the floor.

Colin tilts his head at her. "Pen, this is ridiculous."

"Two."

"Can't we just sit down and—." Pen opens her mouth, her lips forming the word one, but Colin looks alarmed and puts his hands out to stop her. "Fine, you're right. I'm sorry!"

Penelope breathes in relief. Despite the show she just put on, she didn't know what she would've done if she'd reached one. With Penelope's grade three students, she'd send them to the principal's office or write their names in the infraction book. But, Penelope didn't think those forms of punishment would've worked with Colin.

She moves her hands to her hips, pinning her gaze on him. "Sorry about what?"

"I'm sorry that I got a bit carried away."

"A bit carried away?" Penelope scoffs, causing him to flinch in guilt. "Colin, you yelled at my co-worker, "Penelope is too good for you," and then proceeded to knock over the punch bowl!"

"In my defense, whoever placed it there did a poor job. It was teetering on the edge of the table."

Penelope's jaw clenches. "I placed it on the table."

Colin's eyes go wide, adorably so, which she could appreciate more if she weren't so angry at him.

Well, she still does appreciate it a little. She's human, after all.

"Oh, then it was a lovely job!" Colin exclaims, trying to cover himself. "Perfect placement, angels in heaven would want you to be on punchbowl duty at every party."

"You think angels have parties?"

"No, of course not, but they host them. Can you imagine parties in heaven? Unlimited food, great entertainment, and you could dance with Pablo Picasso and Prince at the same time."

"You really think Picasso and Prince would run in the same social circles in—hey, don't distract me," she interrupts herself, pointing accusingly at him while biting back a grin. "I'm mad at you."

Colin takes a step forward, beginning to smirk. "Then why are you smiling?"

"It's an annoying side effect of being around you," Penelope explains grumpily. "But, I'm still angry."

Colin deflates. "I know. You  should be angry at me." He begins to pace, making Penelope worry that he's going to slip as she and Eloise just polished the floor yesterday. "I was way out of line. I shouldn't have yelled at your co-worker. It was disrespectful."

Penelope exhales, her anger beginning to fade, but confusion still causing her head to ache.

"I don't understand. Why did you yell that at him? And why did you spend the whole evening scowling at him and steering me away from him the entire time?"

Colin doesn't respond, looking down at his shoes. His behavior worries her, as Colin's never been one to avoid telling her something. His eyes are always open, full of honesty and understanding. But lately, they've been clouded.

The clouds are unsettling. Penelope misses the sun's warmth, and she can't take the chill anymore, especially because she doesn't know what prompted the weather change.

"You've been so unlike you the past few weeks," Penelope quickly says before she loses her nerve. "You've been off ever since he started working with me at the beginning of this month."

Colin shifts his feet. "No, I haven't."

"Yes, you have! Whenever I bring him up, you completely shut me out, you've avoided my attempts for you to meet him, and I caught you rolling your eyes when I was talking to him on the phone," she lists, furrowing her eyebrows. "What do you have against him?"

"Nothing."

"Colin, tell me."

He shrugs but with tense shoulders. "There's nothing to tell."

Penelope presses on, taking a step closer. "Obviously, you have something against him."

"No, I don't," he says, taking a step back.

She steps forward, feeling a rook on a chessboard that's slowly advancing on his pawn as he moves it backward one square at a time.

"Be honest."

"I am."

"No, you're not. I know you well enough to know when you're lying."

"Penelope…"

"Please, Colin, just tell me what's really got you so—."

"He's into you!" Colin blurts out.

Penelope freezes, her rook stopping one square before her victory.

Colin grimaces at himself, taking a deep breath as if his words knocked the wind out of him.

"What?"

"He's into you," Colin repeats, his voice quieter than before. "I don't like the way he looks at you. He obviously wants something more than friendship."

Penelope knows she shouldn't, but she laughs. "That's absurd."

Colin's expression drops even further, beginning to frown. "Why is that absurd? "

"Because it's me. Why would he be interested in me?"

"Why wouldn't he be?"

Penelope narrows her eyes at him. "Colin, don't play dumb."

"I'm not. You're the one that's playing dumb."

"Excuse me?"

"Pen, you're intelligent, beautiful, funny, and kind," Colin describes, slowly raising his hands and placing them on her arms. There's something in his eyes as he speaks so vehemently, a gleam that sends a thrill through her body. "You're the perfect package. Who wouldn't want you?"

Something in his words causes her to pause, reassessing the entire evening. Once she does, seeing a supercut of Colin's reactions towards her co-worker and his behavior around the two of them, her mind reaches one conclusion—a conclusion which quickens her heartbeat.

However, it also inspires a newfound sense of motivation to stop tiptoeing at the edge of the cliff she's been on for years.

But, she has to make sure Colin is truly standing on the same cliff as her before jumping.

Penelope swallows nervously. "Alright, let's say you're right and that I'm the perfect package—."

"You are."

"Ok, let's say that I am," Penelope agrees, taking a deep breath before crafting her following words. "So, why shouldn't he like me?"

"It's not that he shouldn't like you because, of course, he should. But—he shouldn't," Colin blabbers, getting a cute crinkle in between his brows as he struggles to explain himself adequately, which only fuels her wonderful but terrifying theory. "Because… he's—that guy is not right for you. "

Penelope inches closer, so her chest brushes against his body. He intakes a sharp breath, and she has to restrain herself from doing the same thing, knowing the gravity of this moment—of getting this exactly right.

"But I'm the perfect package, so I'm perfect for him, right?"

"No—I mean, yes, he'd be lucky to have you. But that doesn't mean you should be with him." His eyes flicker to her chest, and back up at her eyes, and back to his shoes, his face becoming more red with each passing second. "He—he has a horrible laugh, he likes Star Trek over Star Wars, and he took way more than his share of the cheese platter—."

"Those reasons are inconsequential. You know they are."

Colin opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. So, Penelope raises one of her hands, moving up his arm and to his neck.

The path of Penelope's fingertips creates a live wire, causing his skin to brim with electricity everywhere she touches.  But, it doesn't shock her. Instead, she's part of the electrical current and feels a hum of energy in her palm that his touch provides.

"So, there must be another reason you don't want me to be with him," Penelope continues, forcing her voice not to shake. "Right?"

"No," he shakes his head after a few beats.

She bites her lip, trying to hold on to hope. "Really, there's not one reason?"

"Um…no?"

Penelope sighs, dropping her hands from his neck, feeling stupid. How foolish was she to think ahead of herself like this? Clearly, Colin's answer was not what she predicted. Just like always, she got carried away in romantic notions, as she always seemed to, when Colin’s around.

"Ok," she says, clearing her throat. Colin frowns at the sudden distance, but Penelope can't see his expression as she's closing her eyes to try and banish the inclination to cry. "I know, it's been a long day, so let's forget it. I think I should—."

Penelope doesn't get to answer. Because, suddenly, Colin swoops forward, his hands cupping her cheeks and his lips crashing onto hers.

If touching his skin created a live wire, kissing Colin makes a high electricity voltage, one strong enough to power an entire city.

Colin's lips brush against her softly, but there's a desperate edge to it, one akin to the desperation she feels as she clutches the collar of his jacket and pulls him closer.

When Colin breaks apart for a breath, he rests his forehead on hers.

"I was jealous," he whispers.

Penelope pulls her head back a little so that she can meet his eyes. "What?"

"That's why I didn't want you to be with him, because I want you to be with me," Colin confesses, pursing his lips. "I know that's immature. I'm sorry. You should be with whoever you want to be with, even if it's not me. It's my fault that I was too much of a coward until—Ow!" He abruptly yelps, looking down at his arm, which Penelope just pinched. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Penelope ducks her head, the corners of her lips twitching into a smile. "I was just checking to make sure you weren't an illusion."

Colin smiles in the incandescent way that made Penelope fall in love with him in the first place. He tips her chin up, forcing her to meet his bright eyes filled with an emotion that wraps around her heart and squeezes it.

"I'm real, I'm very much real," Colin assures, his thumb skimming her cheek. "I'll prove it to you."

He closes the distance between them again. But, Penelope is the one to deepen the kiss. She feels a wave of heat run through her at Colin's moan. Also, she experiences a surge of confidence, proud that she was the one to elicit such a glorious sound.

Penelope wraps her arms around her neck, finding it slightly annoying that he's so tall, as she has to lean up on her toes to kiss him. Colin must sense her struggle, quickly amending the issue by swiftly raising her into the air.

But, as her legs sweep up as she's taken into his arms, she accidentally kicks the bowl that holds her and Eloise's apartment keys off of the table.

It crashes loudly onto the floor, the ceramic breaking into multiple tiny pieces.

Colin and Penelope's lips break from each other's, looking down at the mess near her feet. Then, for a moment, neither of them say anything, only staring at the floor.

"Well…at least there was no punch in there this time," Colin says, sidestepping the broken pieces of the bowl.

Penelope laughs, smiling against his lips as she pulls him in for another kiss.

While she has a lot of explaining to do about the dramatic scene the two of them caused when she shows up at work tomorrow and will have to answer Eloise about the broken bowl, she can't find it in herself to care.

When he opens his eyes briefly, looking at her and moving a strand of hair behind her ear, she no longer sees clouds. Instead, she only sees the sun, and she wants to bask in its glow forever.

Penelope knows how idealistic that thought is, but as Colin begins kissing down her neck after moving them to the couch, she thinks it's quite a reasonable notion.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Zena Lorell Spark Sheet

These are just a series of notes/dialogue about Zena. I thought it might be fun for y'all to see the writer's equivalent of a sketchbook. I'm still admittedly working her out, so let me know what you think works!

Random Scenes/Dialogue

At some point Din leaves Zena to look after the kid while he scout out a small town. Zena gets bored and decides to play some games with Grogu to pass the time. The first game is hide and go seek. It takes a while for Grogu to get the point of the game, but soon enough he catches on. Unfortunately for Zena, Grogu is a little too good and the second she starts to look for him, the little womp rat is no where to be found. She basically tears the ship apart and then starts to look outside, now starting to get worried Din might kill her if she doesn’t fine him. Then she hears a soft cooing from the trees.

Somehow, the kid managed to get himself all the way up the tree and is smiling his little face off.

Zena knows she has to get him down, but seeing as trees had never been a thing she had to deal with growing up, climbing to get him proves to be a challenge. And what’s worse, once she’s up there, she very quickly discovers she’s got a little think about heights.

It’s in this state Din finds him. Grogu smile in a tree with Zena clinging onto the branch for dear life.

—————————————

Early on they have to work out living arrangements since Din does need to sleep and has to take off his armor at least to shower. For a while that means Zena is sleeping in the cockpit, but her back can’t take it for long. Eventually, she comes up with a solution. She buys a huge thick blanket from a local market and brings it back to the ship. She then gets some rope and divides the space in half. She even gets some beads to put on the bottom so Din can hear if the curtain is being moved.

With the new sleeping arrangements, late night conversations start to become a thing.

—————————————

“It just feels weird that I don’t even know your name. Or is that another thing I’m not allowed to know?”

“Din. My name is Din.”

“Do you want me to call you that?”

“Whatever you want.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

—————————————

Grogu goes over to Zena’s side of the ship to sleep with her at night sometimes.

—————————————

“You sound different.”

There was a small shuffle of sheets on the other side, and decidedly no answer.

“Are…are you not wearing your helmet?”

An awkward pause followed.

Zena felt her blood go straight to her cheeks. Of course, she knew he had to take the helmet off at some point, but knowing it logically to be the case and for it actually to be confirmed were two different things.

“I can’t see you,” she assured, a little too quickly.

Again, silence. She held her breath, her ears straining for even the small hint of movement. After what felt like years, he finally spoke.

“I know.”

She let out a small breath of relief. Still, the awkwardness hadn’t left the air. She needed to say something.

“I like your voice.”

He didn’t say anything. It was getting ridiculous. She wished she could at least see the outline of his body. Then she could at least read his shoulders. If her cheeks didn’t set fire to the fabric, it was going to be a miracle.

“Thank you. I…like your voice too.”

Something about his tone made her stomach flip. She imagined downcast eyes and an awkward smile. Was he blushing? Could he blush?

“Goodnight, Zena.”

“Goodnight, Din.”

—————————————

Zena is not a fighter and needs lessons in shooting and basic self-defense.

The first time she and Din meet Cara, Zena goes outside and points her blaster at Cara to keep her from attacking Din.

“Stop right there!” Zena snapped.

The woman whipped around, her eyes making quick assessment of the threat.

“Safety’s on,” she smirked.

Zena looked down at the blaster; first mistake. In a second the woman had knocked the blaster out of her hand and sent Zena flying with one solid kick.

Options of where to place her introduction episode:

Before “Sanctuary”:

Pros:

Motivation for Din coming to Mir is to lay low; he comes to Zena looking for accommodations, money she receives is for lodging

Bounty Hunters are the one to scope out Zena’s place, she lies and that’s why her place gets robbed and eventually burned down

Her lying for him adds to Din’s guilt

Chance for Zena to get to know Grogu a bit before joining Din

She is there during the events of “Sanctuary”

Nice ending where Din says there is no reason why she can’t stay. “It’s green,” he offered. “And a lot safer.” “And you still owe me 10,282 credits,” she countered, though not as harshly as before.

Cons:

Din is still in a place mentally where he’s willing to leave Grogu behind if it means it’s safe

The lesson that they need to stay on the move might come too early: solution, have Din forced to land on Mir post escape and have Zena fix the Razor Crest as form of payment (Din knows Mir is too much of a hot spot to stay permanently)

Zena not likely to go along with the idea of lying low on a nowhere planet, when she just left a nowhere planet and Din still owes her money; solution, Din insist they’re still too hot after Mir and need some time to cool off, and there has to be some small time stuff he can do in the meantime

Not much for her to do since she’s not much of a fighter (on the other hand, good excuse to establish how less skilled she is compared to Din and Cara)

After “Sanctuary”:

Pros:

Din is now securely in the “keep on the move and make money where we can” mindset

Motivation for coming to Mir is to pick up some non-guild work better suited to such a far off out-post

For my own personal reasons, all the exposition about how long Din has been wearing the armor and the rules involved have been told and so doesn’t feel like a rehash

Zena more likely to not fight Din tooth and nail about landing on Tatooine

Zena’s first/second outing with Din involves getting shot at; ability to test her resolve earlier on

Cons:

Not much for her to do, probably spends most of the time either working on or commenting on repairs: Din volunteers her to work on the ship instead of the droids?

She and Din are more antagonistic, him leaving her behind with the ship is a struggle

Just not as fun of an episode to explore her and Din’s dynamic

Final decision; Introduce Zena in between “The Sin” and “Sanctuary”.

Din has to make a pit stop on Mir due to trouble with the Razor Crest. He knows Bounty Hunters are still hot on his tail, but it’ll give him a minute to think about where to go next with the kid. He goes to Zena for repairs.

Damage to the ship will take a few days, so for some extra money Din offers to pay for he and the kid to stay in Zena’s spare room.

Local gangsters try to rough up Zena a bit for protection money. (They know she’s got money saved, they’re just no sure where it is) Din steps in, which gets them to back off for the moment. Some exposition of Zena’s situation; she’s on her own, gangsters have always been a problem, but post Endor they’ve been even more of a nuisance since the New Republic isn’t stable enough to get anyone all the way out to Mir, and she doesn’t need help.

“You’re going to leave Mandalorian,” she said, bitterly. “And the second you do, they’ll be back and pissed. So, do us both a favor and pretend you’re not even here.”

Her father was in debt to the gangsters? It took her a long while to pay off the debt and she’s just now getting herself enough money to buy a ship. Gangsters don’t want her to buy a ship since she’s basically the only mechanic they have they can squeeze for repairs.

Din later apologizes for butting into her business, and she apologizes too, recognizing he was just trying to help

Need at least one nice little bonding moment between Zena and Grogu; Grogu actually seems to like her cooking, she has him hold some of her tools and play with the less dangerous ones, etc.

Bounty Hunter arrives looking for Din and the kid

Zena lies to cover for them

Bounty Hunter then meets up with the gangsters and figures out Zena was lying; Bounty Hunter and the gangsters then decide to form an alliance to capture Din and keep Zena on Mir

Fight breaks out; Din, Zena, and Grogu are able to escape, but all of Zena’ saving are left behind and her place to all but burned to the ground

“I can drop you wherever you’d like,” he offered. “There are plenty of space ports looking for a good mechanic. You could even join a crew, if that’s what you want.”

There was a long pause, the distant, harden looks never leaving her face.

“Do you have someone you can stay with,” he tried. “Friends? Family?”

“No.”

“Then where—”

“No!” She rose to her feet, anger fueling her. “You’re not just going to dump me on some back water stink hole! It’s your fault Cane and his crew decided to escalate things. It’s your fault that bounty hunter showed up. And it’s your fault everything I own save for the clothes on my back are burned to a crisp. Your fault. You pay for it.”

[daehgub-bughead]

I hope I'm not bothering you, so feel free to ignore this, but I yearn to know: if you had full creative control of the show, how would you run season 5? You can pick and choose whatever leaks you want to include.

So it's better late than never. Seriously for don't answer before and make you wait I didn't forget it I just this was more difficult than I expected every time I saw the white page on my computer I didn't felt the inspiration or have the energy to do it but it's 3 am, I can't sleep sooooo

let's started:

*jughead won't be alcoholic *Veronica isn't married *that awful song doesn't exist, that dint happen was just a collective nightmare instead veronica sings "I kissed a girl" to betty bcs I want to. * maybe is unpopular but I'm not excited for the idea of all working on the high school post-time jump give me glee flashbacks and I hate it. * I will ignore all the new interviews, stills, spoilers. I choose delusion. * I use the phrase "rebuild the truth" a lot Even when I hate it I will give more priority to the cheating storyline and the arcs of the characters how this will affect not only their relationship romantic/friendship. I would put a really heart-heart conversation between Jarchie, Beronica, and Barchie; Ba comes clear apologizing bcs they make a mistake and being sincere with JV. Talking about Ba I dig more into their thinking, motivations, and feelings for both, Give to Archie his point of view and give MORE priority to the core 4 trauma and how they deal with it. And then try to figure out how it could move the plot of the mystery like maybe when Jughead finds out about the kiss he tries to distract himself and go more into the mystery as we see before. Archie's having the things clear in the end but Veronica choosing herself first and deciding that break up would be the best even when it would hurt both. I would show a bit of their life's out on Riverdale Just to the end of the episode, there's some reason everybody comes back to the town probably related to the death (I still think that pops will die). Veronica would be a successful businesswoman, she is an icon in New York and dates a beautiful woman called Rebbeca but when veronica decides to come back to RVD they break up, bcs Rebecca wants to take a time to work on herself, and Veronica comebacks to Riverdale to take control again of pops and start to work with Tabitha remodeling pops maybe and maybe try to become it a franchise. I'm not sure what I would do with Archie but the writers either, so I'll keep the firefighter storyline but he would use a shirt all the time bcs I'm tired of seeing KJ on shirtless (at this point is every man of this show) also he will take total control of Fred's construction company. Veronica contracts Fred's company and varied start to spend more and more time together and try to be just friends while finding their way back to each other and obviously angsty, pining, longing maybe a bit more of angsty and Pining Archie fight for V love. I'll give Toni the screentime that she deserves and let her shine for herself I would like that the show makes justice to the choni/Toni storyline this season but I learn don't get my hope up with this show focusing on the Toni family and her backstory more and making her an individual character again. I'll love to see more musicals moments Vannesa and drew singing together, and Toni and fangs being on a band give to me now. I think first I will talk about ba and then about betty. Love triangle: No más eso no sirve. So I will end with that before time jump they will still felt guilty and regretful for hurt JV and lose them. Archie always be the boy that betty dreamed of for too long and Bettys will always have on Archies heart also they don't idealize each other anymore but still, they will love each other but in a different way.I'm not against the show exploring new relationships and least to betty dating someone else I always expected that the writers will explore ba at some point, I just expected something different, so I'm not against ba dating post time jump for any reason that the writers could think but the thing I would do its ba talking about their feelings for one another, discussing how to live could've been if he never rejected her (not so much bcs Jason was already death, anyways) make a what-if episode/ or an Au episode where Archie don't reject betty but ultimately in that episode it is shown that they are better off as friends & that the road not taken still would lead to bugvarchie.

One thing that I love about the s1 is that in a way or another everybody was involved in the mystery the core 6 with Toni and the serpents could be a good way to get information. One of the points of the season will be the redemption and the rebuild of the seasons so I will go to a semi-slow-burn with the friendships of the shows, I never feel what I supposed to feel for Jarchie but one of the things that I love about some fics saw the rebuild of beronica friendship so I would put so much effort on that and put more moments when we could appreciate the friendship of the core 4 to make it feel more genuine.  Veronica will forgive Betty when seeing how much betty misses her and try to fix the things between them.

As a lot of people do I think that bughead won't break up pre-time jump, Jughead will forgive betty and they will try a long-distance relationship I would like to say that they will leave the cheating behind we would see them being happy and walking to the sunset and live happily ever after but a cheating storyline for them breaking up for the distance doesn't feel good to me so the cheating will affect their relationship and they will try to get over it but it will be a little factor+ the distance and all the responsibilities that have on the university combined make them realize that the timing isn't right, time apart for growing individually, met other people, so they talk about and decide that break up is the best and have a friendly break up.

I think that betty would meet a lot of people some serious relationships other not so serious she will meet some idiots sadly wemet some idiots (that she later will tell veronica and they would laugh together about the looser that stood up Betty and didn't see her on that beautiful readdress) and some really nice guys, Charmings that will care about her and he will want her but sadly the things won't work out. Betty being an FBI agent I'm in, betty being a full badass I'm in, her struggling to follow the rules of the FBI I'm in that's the betty that we love. I have not problems with our favs having difficult times I would keep him having writers' block but not one hit writer I will go to him having problems to find the inspiration to write the end of the story that he starts a long time ago. And for Jessica even when I would like to see jealous betty it seems that every relationship at the beginning of the time jump its borrow time and that's unfair for her so they will be together like 2 or 3 eps max, I think Jughead will love her but on a different way that he loves betty and their relationship seems that isn't on a good moment since the beginning so betty being again on jughead life will be just little factor on their relationship I would put betty investigating the disappearance of Polly and jughead with the Mothman they investigating in different paths until the next episode to see that their investigation is related and start to work together. I'm here to see bughead being single for a time, see their relationships as friends then I will go to the undercover/fake dating/kissing for a cover route I will go for angst, the pining, jealousy, Longing looks, and denial of their feelings and there would be conflict both being scare pf their feelings, let the walls that the build after years being apart down until they can hide the fact that never stop loving to each other. Also, I add this of last moment while we explore bughead future I would show more about bughead backstory, go more into their friendship and pre-pilot relationship, they reading together young Jughead pining for young betty I'm a sucker for that.

[queervagabond]

How were you able to go back to college? Like, I basically failed mine and I just recently dropped out. Everybody keeps telling me to try again, but I'm just so embarrassed about it and I feel like a disappointment.

hey! I really apologize for not getting back sooner and I hope you see this. I have been dealing with finals and I wanted to figure out how to give this question the answer it deserves. If I don’t give a good one, since my strategy ended up being rambling my entire story of the past few years and hope something sticks, you are always welcome to message me or send another ask asking for a better answer. 

When I first went to college, I did it because that was just what I was always told to do. Graduate high school and then go to college. Thats how life worked, no leap year, and it had to be a “legitimate college” aka art school was out of the question. So I went to a nice qualified school and I failed. Like all out complete failure. Lost a full ride my first semester and ended up in debt by the end of my second. The only thing I didn’t completely fuck up was the symphony program I was in. I like to say to people that ask that I didn’t fuck up the photo class I was in because that makes more sense than symphony program, but honestly, in the end I even messed that up. And I returned home feeling completely defeated. I wasn’t even metaphorically licking my wounds, I was purposefully letting them fester because I thought I didn’t get to recover from being a disappointment like that. And I didn’t talk to anybody about it because being a dropout can definitely feel embarrassing because of society’s standards (But one thing I had to realize is that everybody has a different personal timeline and I should give the middle finger to the stupid standards)

And for quite a while I was where you were. In theory I wanted it, but I couldn’t even start to imagine trying again. I had felt the fall once and there was no damn way I wanted to experience it again. But after a while, good god did I want it.

I had to get over my absolute terror of failing again. I had to get over all the people that looked down on me for dropping out. I had to get over the fact that I adored the college I first went to and that I couldn’t go back. I had to get over that the opportunities I had been presented there weren’t going to happen again. I had to make sure that I wasn’t pushing myself into something I couldn’t do yet. I had to want it.

Goodness that was a lot of baggage. And honestly, therapy helped a lot. If you have access to that, I highly suggest it. And find one that fits, not all are going to work, and it can be frustrating looking for one but my current one has helped me immensely get to where I am now. 

But a tip, want it. Make sure you want it. And find a major and a school that fits you and that you want. Don’t do it because others are telling you to (along with those stupid societal standards,) do it because you want to. Take the time you need to figure everything out, get yourself back onto your two feet, do some introspection(I did A Lot of that,) and take a breather, because if you are like me, you need one even if it seems, at the time, wasteful. I took nearly two years. Seemed like forever but I needed it. 

When I applied it ended up happening at 3 am on one of those nights where I want to do everything and see the world and think if I just try enough I can reach the stars. I feared the motivation would go away by morning like every other time so I applied that night and for a while I didn’t tell another living being that I had applied except in whispered anxious excitement to my cat. If I didn’t tell anybody then nobody else’s expectations would be riding on if I got in or not. I got a call at 8 am that woke me and I sat in bed crying for about 2 hours because they wanted me to come in with a portfolio and I interviewed and was damn honest when they asked what happened the past few years and got in and every damn day I am thankful for those terrifying minutes of bravery it took me to apply. 

I found my fit at a small school where everybody knows everybody by their first name and I’m open about my past, in my depression and in my major failure, so people can understand me and I made sure I have a lot of support I can fall back onto in case I start slipping again. I went from failing every class I stepped foot in to straight A’s (bragging gives me a sour taste in my mouth a bit but I did this by and I have to remind myself I get to brag sometimes.) And while I had exactly one credit that could have transferred, I decided to not even enter as a transfer student because I wanted a new start.

And yes, I still have the regret. It still weighs on me late at night, full of what if’s. But I also can counter them with What Now? “Where do I go from here” and “Look at where I am now.” I had to make myself stop looking back, and told myself to just move on. You can’t drive a car looking in the rear view mirror, so how the hell was I going to go anywhere in life if I kept looking back. 

Also, I quit facebook. Seeing everybody succeeding sure wasn’t helping and I needed to focus on me and not whatever my pseudo-friends from high school were doing. The only reason I didn’t delete it entirely was I needed a way to talk to my brother because he didn’t have a cell phone I could text in South Korea. So maybe you enjoy facebook, but also be careful on how much you look at where others are going and what they’re thinking and just focus on you. 

So, want it my friend. Figure out what you want to do. When I express my regrets to my therapist he always points out that I’m just one of those people that sees no point in doing something I don’t enjoy so of course I struggled (and that the depression sure didn’t help lol.) 

I can talk so much more about this but I don’t want to turn this into an introspective autobiography, if that hasn’t happened already. I hope this helps. 

tldr- I waited until I wanted it like a man in a desert wants water. And a lot of therapy, self-reflection, and reassuring safeguards put in place. That too. 

[khaleesimaka]

Hello, I'm the anon from the writers ask! I just seen your answer now and no problem, I completely understand your point of view. Sorry for having sent so many, but those were such interesting questions I couldn't control myself lol :') So if anybody hadn't already asked you, I choose 4, 12, 16, 49 and 54 :)

It’s been a while since I reblogged that post so hopefully these are the right questions. And I apologize for the late response >_

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

Yes. I like to set time aside so I can write unless I know I’m gonna be busy that day or just feel like doing something for me. I also like to sit somewhere comfortable, put on the instrumental soundtrack for Life is Strange or some other video game, and allow my mind to get into the story I’m writing. I need to be alone during that time too. Especially if I get into a writing groove where the words just flow. I hate when my concentration breaks during those times >_

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

I go to twitter and cry about them or just cry about them alone in my room until I finally decide to kick my booty and remind myself that I’m not an awful writer like my brain likes to tell me. I’m kinda decent. Sometimes I’ll even read old stuff -- especially if I’m writing something I already started or is already a good chunk into the story -- to remind myself that I’m actually a pretty good writer. 

But that usually doesn’t happen until a good amount of crying has happened beforehand hehe

16. Where do you take your motivation from?

Right now, a huge amount of my motivation and inspiration is coming from the book I’m reading which is A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas. Tbh I’ve found that reading books really helps motivate me to write the stories I’m already working on. There’s just something about it that is really inspiring and helps push me to write. 

I also find motivation in reviews/msgs/kind words people have told me about my writing or getting kudos/favs/follows on a fanfic. Those tend to help motivate me a lot to keep working on the thing and update it sooner cause I know people are waiting ^u^

49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?

Sometimes it’s the beginning; sometimes it’s the ending. Sometimes it’s all three. It really just depends. The beginning is hard to write when I have a general idea for a story, but Idk how to start it to get someone’s attention. That’s one of the reasons it’s taking me forever to update Bachelor AU cause while I know where the chapter is going and stuff, the beginning has been a struggle. 

But then the middle is sometimes hard because I’ll have a good beginning and end but piecing them together is just really difficult. Like adding in the fluff and the slow burn and all that other stuff is just like eh, but that’s also the fun part of writing. It’s connecting the beginning and end together, and when I figure out where to take a story, it all turns into a pretty decent story tbh.

Endings are difficult for me only because my brain likes to continue on and add more things, and I have to find a good spot to just stop the story so it all makes sense and leaves the reader satisfied and happy. 

54. Any writing advice you want to share?

Tbh, just write. Write and finish the story you wanna tell even if you don’t think it’s the best thing you can put out there. You can always go back and read it over and make your own edits. It’s your story. There’s no one to stop you from making corrections or changing something. And also keep writing. Don’t stop. Your writing is gonna improve the more you do it and the more you take chances. Always improve your skills and incorporate something new into your writing. Even the best writers have room for improvement in their storytelling. You just gotta keep at it. 

Writing is a skill, and you won’t get better unless you practice.