#Anyways YEAH THEY'RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR! THESE GIRLS ARE IN LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER AND WILL ALWAYS BE!

[arkhammaid]

— ˚₊‧⁺˖ THE LIGHTNING ON TRACK | THE WAIT FOR THE FIRST RACE

fandom. formula one & mcu

about. the waiting time between pre-season testing and first race is being filled

content warnings. the girls (men) are fighting and y/n gets a reality check

notes. another chat chapter because you guys liked it lol

george russell Welcome, @/oliverbearman and @/ynstark to the main Grid Chat. I will add you to the other ones as well.

daniel ricciardo WELCOME!!! We're so happy to finally have you here

Also, @/kevinmagnussen, welcome back you ass

Don't leave any groupchats again, it's a pain to add you back

george russell Considering I have to do the work, you're not allowed to complain Daniel

lando norris booo, let him have the fun

nico hülkenberg Oh no, it starts again. I'll mute you asshats if you don't stop this

lando norris you're just boring

oliver bearman thank you guys! very happy and honored to be finally part of the big guys 🫣

y/n stark thank you, george! and i'm excited to officially meet you all, until then, hello :)

charles leclerc Hello y/n, welcome to the grid! I hope you'll enjoy your stay here 😉

y/n stark thank you charles, i'm sure i will lol

kevin magnussen I swear I will block you all

daniel ricciardo Don't be like that, you love us

y/n stark lol, he actually hates you guys, won't stop whining kevin magnussen One day, young lady, one day... y/n stark y'all hear sum? charles leclerc Gagged. lando norris charles???

carlos sainz Can you guys just shut up for once, dios mio.

charles leclerc Aww, Carlos, you love us! carlos sainz Debatable. Sometimes I wish you would all crash and not survive to be honest oscar piastri We get it, you're an asshole carlos sainz Fuck off Piastri oscar piastri Right back at you Sainz

lewishamilton welcome to our new rookies! ollie, awesome to see you again, y/n, don't be a stranger, we haven't talked in ages!

y/n stark lew!! we defo have to, gonna hit you up for fashion show for sure, pepper has been planning something pierre gasly Lew 👀 y/n stark look who's here... the tripod.... pierre gasly Yeah yeah, shutting up. Welcome to the grid y/n y/n stark thank you pierre

sergio perez Welcome, rookies.

max verstappen From me a welcome as well!

esteban ocon Welcome, welcome!! This is so exciting, I've been waiting for a long time now 😋😋

lance stroll Estie??? esteban ocon Shht, Lancey, let me cook lance stroll 💀💀💀

lance stroll Anyways, all of them are idiots, as we already know, welcome to hell, y/n

y/n stark aww, thank you lance. so sorry you have to go throught this 🫂 charles leclerc We're not so bad?? lewis hamilton Well. charles leclerc Oh come on Lewis lewis hamilton I didn't say anything

fernando alonso Stark and Bearman! Welcome to the coolest people on the paddock 😎

oliver bearman thanks fernando! y/n stark thanks nando 😎

alexander albon Hi guys, so nice to see you finally in here! @/georgerussell you took your sweet time man

george russell You be Head of the GPDA then. alexander albon No thank you, I'm fine 🙃

logan sargeant Welcome, welcome, happy to see some new faces!

oscar piastri They're finally here. Welcome back Ollie and welcome Y/n to this shit hole

lando norris you know what osc? oscar piastri No, and I don't care. Save the talking for the track lando norris you do know i'm still zak's favorite driver? i could get you fired oscar piastri Please don't. charles leclerc This is what you get for lying in an interview. No groupchat with all of us is ever formal oscar piastri This literally isn't about you Charles charles leclerc Boo, you hater

y/n stark @/kevinmagnussen i see what you've said now...

kevin magnussen Never ever doubt me again, I've been with those fuckers for years now daniel ricciardo Hey!! That's not nice yuki tsunoda you know what else is not nice ricciardo? daniel ricciardo Yuki, drop it. Team orders are team orders yuki tsunoda i don't give a fuck old man, you behave like a bitch you get bitch behavior max verstappen Drop it or else I'll involve Helmut. yuki tsunoda fuck you dan-cocksucker max verstappen Yuki. We don't carry out team issues to the grid. yuki tsunoda he started first and i have proof daniel ricciardo I don't know why you're being so dramatic, it was only testing yuki tsunoda i give you dramatic you fucking asshole. you know what you did and i stand by my statement that this was a total asshole move. just because you got a big smile doesn't mean you're fooling everyone fucking ass george russell I will both kick you out if you don't drop this immediately.

carlos sainz And it starts again...

valterri bottas You're all children. Stop it

y/n stark so pierre was right huh 😀

kevin magnussen I told you so. pierre gasly Why am I getting involved in shit again?

zhou ganyu I apologize for their behavior. Y/n, Oliver, welcome to the grid, I'll be excited to race you both!

kev

are they actually children because wtf did i just witness.

Yeah... I told you drivers are dramatic. Well, most of them and other's are just their victims. Of course we have our moments and friendships but it's a ruthless sport

man tf. literal man children. i'm so glad i have you as a teammate kev. like seriously. i don't know if i could survive with someone like daniel or carlos

the passive agressive vibes <<<<

that's just not it tbh

I have no idea what you just said but I agree. Daniel and Yuki are not good teammates, it was already bad last year and now this.

To be honest, Nico and I often missed stuff like that since we were stuck at Haas and the upper dogs never really showed interest in what we thought or did but everyone knew what happened between them

pls don't tell me they have a clique here... oh my god and i thought the rumors were false

I mean.. not really but also kinda yes? Better drivers stick together since they're always spending time together, you know. No one cares about the ones who're limping behind, well besides Pierre and Esteban, but they're only kinda involved because they're close to Charles and Lance. And Lewis and Fernando aren't really on their level, they keep to themselves

why are men problematic

not you obvs, but like... jeez really felt the love here when we got welcomed

Welcome to F1 kid, it's a shithole

thanks, it's so lovely here

dad?

i think it's worse than we thought

Honey, what are you talking about?

everything. you should see the group chat with the drivers right now. i thought people were joking about f1 drivers being bitter and bitchy towards each other, but there are literally groups and alliances or whatever the fuck is going on there

and if that's only the drivers... i don't want to know how the teams are

Oh.

but also like, what is that going to stop us? we made plans, we know what to do but dear lord are men stupid. well not all but most of them. i literally had to watch how yuki and daniel were fighting because of a team issue in the GROUPCHAT with all drivers

and when max told them to drop it, he got called a dan-cocksucker, can you imagine??

everyone seems to know why they're fighting besides me and ollie, i knew there was tension in alpha tauri but this?? it's a new level of what the fuck is going on here

Are you alright?

i am

just

yk had to tell someone who's not kev since he has been involved in this forever and is used to it. but i still thought

well idk what i thought, maybe i'm just stupid for my wishful thinking

should've known all of this was pr and that most rumors are true. it will make our lives a bit harder

Don't worry, no matter what they throw against us, it's no alien invasion. They're just whiny little men after all and I'm literally Iron Man

i know dad

love you. and thank you

Of course, anything for you

taglist. @lilypadlover , @adorablezhui , @peqch-pie , @keyz-writes , @obsidianjewel, @themercyverse , @lem-hhn , @akiraquote , @kiiyoooo , @nichmeddar , @nothingfuninthislife , @minkyungseokie , @fionaschicken , @lyrasconstellation , @spideybv28 , @keii134 , @starssfall , @tpwkstiles , @fangirl-dot-com , @lady-laura-speaks , @nikfigueiredo , @hinamesgigantica , @brakingboundaries , @almostjollypizza , @yoremins , @raizelchrysanderoctavius , @celesteblack08 , @watermelon-sugars-things , @lighttsoutlewis , @radiantdanvers , @vellicora , @sterredem , @hiireadstuff , @jolixtreesunn , @mypage-myfandoms , @nelly187 @greeneyesandsunshine , @fulla02 , @welovediaaxx , @whyamireadingthis , @67-angelofthelordme-67 , @blueberry64857959 , @winchesterwife27 , @six-call , @skywalker1dream , @mellowarcadefun , @cherry-piee , @peterholland04 , @motorsportloverf1 , @renarots , @msbyjackal , @woozart , @leclucklerc , @yl90 , @thebook-bitch

crossed off tags mean i can't tag you!

DO YOU WANT TO JOIN THE SERIES TAGLIST? please leave a comment on this post or send a non anonymous ask!

ARKHAM MAID 2024

[rekino2114]

Can I ask for one headcanon about what Fami, Makima, Asa/Yoru, Power and Quanxi reacting to someone hitting or disrespecting your boyfriend?

Makima,power,quanxi, asa/yoru and fami reacting to you getting disrespected

Makima

She resists the urge to kill the person right there and then to not cause a scene and instead just approaches you

She's smiling the whole time and holding your hand to make you feel safe but to the person who was bothering she just seems creepy and uncanny

If they don't leave and continue harassing you she'll just use her powers and make them leave before asked if you're OK and reminding you that whatever they said wasn't true (she gives you headpats if you're particularly sad)

If they, for some reason, decide to come back, she'll just kill them, she already gave them a warning after all

"Are you alright darling? I saw you looked pretty sad by what that piece of trash said, just remember that I love you ok?

"Don't worry I know thanks makima"

"Don't mention it, it's the least I could do"

Power

Unlike makima, power has absolutely no problem with killing someone in front of you, especially if that someone is insulting you in front of her

She'll just create a blood spear or something and stab them repeatedly to release her anger

But if she's having a good day or if you ask her to, she won't kill them but just kick them down while spouting insults at them

Once she's finished she'll demand praise for defending your honor

"HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE GREAT POWER'S GREAT BOYFRIEND, YOU SHOULD BE DEAD FOR YOUR ATTITUDE YOU PATHETIC HUMAN"

"......p-power I think they're unconscious"

"Eh, how disappointing, anyways I think I deserve a little credit for protecting you"

"Thank you power, even if I didn't think you needed to go this far thanks for defending me"

"*blushes* o-of course, the almighty power will always defend you"

Quanxi

Her hand was already on her Dao the moment she heard something negative about you come out of that person's mouth.

She decided against killing them and just joins your conversation, making (not that) veiled threats at their life if they continue insulting you

This woman is intimidating af, so the person will probably leave but if for some reason they don't she'll put her sword at their neck and just say "leave" in her cold and deadly tone (she considered going crossbow form but thought they were too weak)

She'll be more protective of you for the rest of the date (which is saying something) side hugging you whenever someone goes near you

"Y/n....... is this person bothering you?"

"Oh its alright babe I think they were leaving anyway"

"What a shame.....i just sharpened my Dao I was looking forward to using it"

Asa mitaka/yoru

(I assume you wanted them together since you put a slash in them instead of a comma, but let me know if I'm wrong)

That person's fate really depends on who is in control of the body at that moment

Asa doesn't like confrontation so she'll just tell you to ignore them and pull you away (while ignoring yoru screaming in her head to let her out so she can kill them)

Yoru, on the other hand, is much more aggressive. Those insults that person told you are gonna be their last words because she's immediately turning them into a weapon before chuckling at how weak it is and throwing it away (probably killing another person in the process)

If you're sad about it later they will give you hugs and remind you of their love to make you feel better (yoru while blushing intensely)

".......hey girl, let me out this instant"

"No I'm not letting you murder someone today"

"THAT BITCH IS INSULTING MY BOYFRIEND AND YOU'RE LETTING THEM GET AWAY WITH IT!?"

"Our boyfriend"

"Whatever. The important thing is that you didn't even tell them anything, do you really love y/n that little?"

"N-no, I love him!"

"......Are you and yoru fighting again?"

"Y-yeah"

Fami

She finishes swallowing whatever she was eating, stands up, goes near their face, and tells the person to leave

Fami can be really intimidating too. She's a tall, emotionless woman with ringed yellow eyes, so most likely the person will leave when she is right in their face

She'll keep silent eye contact until they leave not even blinking once and then coming back to the table continuing to eat like nothing happened

If what the person said really hurt you, she'll bring you to eat ice cream cause she heard it's the food that helps cheer up humans the most

"My boyfriend and i are eating. Leave."

"........."

"Is something wrong y/n?"

"N-no, I just....didn't think you could be that scary"

"I'm an horseman of apocalypse, I kinda have to"

"Yeah that makes sense"

"........I don't scare you do I?"

"Oh no don't worry, absolutely not"

"Hm....good"

[lady-of-the-puddle]

Hello hello, it is time once again for, you guessed it!

Rating Clu's

Homoerotically tense

Relationships

I thought long and hard about this because I only had about 2 in my head when I mistakenly threw it out there in another post but like, here you go 😎

Have a picture in case you forgot what cgi Jeff Bridges looks like:

Behold, a guy. Anyway

1. Kevin

He is the most obvious so I'll get this one out of the way

You are me and I am you but you are the darkest parts of me but I love you anyway

This begs the question:

Would you fuck your darker self/clone

Idk about u but my heart tells me that Kevin sure would

7/10 it's about the man vs self of it all

2. Jarvis (why is this photo so fuckin big??)

I know I said Kevin is the most obvious

But this guy has the biggest crush on Clu

He is simp supreme

Like the way he turns to Clu for approval after everything he says makes me feel like I should leave the room

He loses a point for being a dork coward but Sam's mascara is very pretty and he's also a Flynn so I can't blame him too much

9/10 go henchboy go

3. Rinzler

Fellas, is it gay to brainwash god's most specialest boyfriend and make him loyal to only you all while knowing god is still out there and can see what you've done to everything he loves? All while knowing he's nothing more than a pet and will never love you and wouldn't even if he could

Like talk about the ultimate rebound

No notes honestly, I don't even need to go on with this one

11/10 not even one girl(Quorra) could make this all seem a little less gay

4. Dyson

Another case of yoinking your exes boy but this time it was consensual

He literally just agrees with Clu and helped him take over

If that's not a basis for a strong relationship then idk what is

He really seems so desperate to stay in Clu's favor like he must know that tron is the real prize here, his bitter ex. Has there ever been so much dating drama between programs?

5/10 replaceable.

5. Sammy

It occurs to me now that he hasn't made it on these lists yet so everyone clap for him

I feel brave for even acknowledging this one

Is Clu his dad? Is he an entity separate but still containing qualities of his father at a certain point in time that forever diverged from the moment of conception? Idk he's a computer man

So like the part where he's just kinda circling Sam looking him up and down like he's a prized pig? Yeah.

CAUTION THIS IS A JOKE please for the love of Kevin don't cancel me over this

2/10 why the 2? Cause there's fics out there man I know it

6. Zuse

He's so babygirl

Clu even mixed him a drink before he blew him up

I love their dynamic I get the feeling if Clu had to spend more than 5 minutes around him he'd strangle him much sooner

Stoic asshole with the silly asshole

Honestly they're perfect for each other

10/10 what can I say? I'm a simple program I see two men interact and I rate them

Special mention:

7. Quorra

Now some of you might say, hey Puddle Girl, this isn't homoerotic at all she's a girl

Well they're programs so gender isn't real and also they're bi so it counts

Anyway I thought about this one cause there was this weird tense moment towards the end of the movie where Quorra is captured and Clu's just like, talking to her and touches her hair and it was uncomfortable but it also made me feel some type of way

Like I understand that it's 100% a power play BUT

😏

3/10 he was gonna add her to the boyfriend collection cause all he does is steal from Kevin

Hi in honor of my Tron themed birthday I finally finished this. I was really reaching for some of these as you can see but I can't take it too seriously anyway. I'm always here for the gay of it all but is it homoerotic or do they just need to put more people who aren't men in this franchise? We'll literally never know! 🙃

Hey @soihadthisdreamonce I'm sorry 5-10 business days turned into 5-10 business weeks I was moving and time got away from me but I didn't forget you

[denny-artsss]

Caine throws a "prom night" as the adventure and Gangle (reluctantly) agreed to be Jax's date and Jax basically shuts down because he did NOT expect Gangle to look that good in a dress, like DAMN

Caine: HELLO EVERYONE!! I HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL PLANNED FOR TONIGHT!

Jax: you're gonna learn to speak in your inside voice?

Caine: SILLY JAX! THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE! NOW! WERE GONNA HAVE A PROM NIGHT!

Zooble: what are we school girls? Ragatha and Gangle be playing bingo like they're in a retirement home.

Ragatha: we play cause its fun not cause were old.

Gangle: bingo-

Caine: COME ON IT WILL BE FUN! YOU CAN DRESS UP IN DRESSES AND COSTUMES! ITS TONIGHT AT 8!

Jax: is it mandatory to show up?

Caine: YES! ITS ALSO MANDATORY TO HAVE A PARTNER!

*everyone finds a partner except Gangle and Jax*

Gangle: *slowly backs away*

Jax: *pulls her close* Gangle! My best friend!

Gangle: *raises an eyebrow*

Jax: best- frienemy? Whatever. You coming to prom with me.

Gangle: that sounded more like a statement than a question.

Jax: UGH YOURE SO PRETENTIOUS! FINE! oh my dear Gangle, light of my life, would you make me the HUGE honor of going to Caines stupid prom with me? *ironic*

Gangle: you forgot to drop on your knees and beg

Jax: YES OR NO

Gangle: *sighs* I would've gone with you anyway. There's no one left, big brain. But thanks for humiliating yourself I guess.

Jax: whatever. Have fun finding something to put on that body of yours. We'll see who's gonna be humiliated. *walks away laughing*

*Gangle walks with the others to look for something to wear*

Gangle: I'm not forgiving you guys for leaving me to be his date for prom.

Zooble: a risk I'm willing to take as long as I'm Jax-free.

Ragatha: yeah sorry Gangle. My Hate for Jax is bigger than my love for you.

Gangle: that's understandable. *picks up a nice black dress and puts it on* huh- this doesn't look too bad does it?

Ragatha: no it actually looks really good! Here- *hands her some accesories* ooo

Zooble: Gangle trust me.you don't need to get this dressed. Jax will probably just show up in his pajamas.

Gangle: pfft. Like If i was dressing for him anyway- *admires herself in the mirror*

Zooble: I think ill just slap a tie on and call it a day.

-time skip-

Jax: *knocks at Gangles door* you abstracted yet?

Gangle: I wish. *opens the door and looks at him* wow you actually put on some decent clothing-

Jax: ah this? I just stole it from those 2 npcs having a wedding now the groom is naked.

Gangle: there was a whole box of costumes downstairs. *steps out of her room into the light*

Jax: *stares at her, a blush creeping on his face*

Gangle: what? Does it look wierd?..

Jax: no- no it looks- *cleans his throat* it looks good- *hands her a red rose*

Gangle: *smiles softly and puts it on top of her head* how do I look?

Jax: beauti- I mean you look okay- *comes closer and wipes the running mascara off her face*

Gangle: I shouldn't have put make up on with my tragedy mask.

Jax: what happened to your comedy mask?

Gangle: Caine keeps forgetting to fix it-

Caine: DID SOMEONE MENTION MY NAME? MY MY! YOU BOTH LOOK STUNNING- oh wow Gangle I don't think that dress is prom appropriate

Gangle: huh? *looks down*

Jax: SHUT UP CAINE SHUT UP I WILL FORCE FEED YOU DENTAL FLOSS SHUT UP.

Caine: alright then-

Gangle: *walks with him to the prom* wow you must really like this dress-

Jax: *blushes embarrassed* yeah well- I also just really DISlike Caine.

Bubble: does this mean you're my date for the prom Caine?

Caine: ... *pops bubble*

.

(Also heres a drawing of her in the prom dress)

Yes I used this as am excuse to draw Gangle in yet another dress.

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

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The long-awaited, the sequel of a sequel, ✨ Mairuma Incorrect Quotes ✨Get ready..*finger guns* to be disappointed!

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Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #1

Purson: Lied? Ah hell no he's definitely not straight.

Camui: As much as I agree he doesn't really look like a demon who only has one gender attraction however, he never really shown any other type of gender other than the wonderful females.

Purson: Fine. Bet.

Moments later

Purson pointing in a random direction: Lied! Look it's Opera-sensei being shirtless!

Lied immediately whips his head around: Where?!

Camui:

( Yes, how did Lied-kun realize he isn't only bisexual? Opera. No need I say more.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

Kerori, literally not getting any sleep because of her akudol career: My fucking mixed complex is so weird and a pain in the ass too, like I could literally be bawling my eyes out on the floor and writing depressing inferiority lyrics, and the next second I could be boasting about my cuteness being as superior as Delkila.

Agares, just trying to get some sleep because it's fucking 3 AM but not wanting to be a prick to his best friend finally opening up: Uh-huh.

Kerori, unconciously pining over a girl she often rejects: Also Gyari, she is such an unbelievable asshole. Like she says she wants to give me some of her company's Vill because she said 'you should rest, Kerori. My beautiful gem must be at her very best for me to be happy making you mine.' like fuck you, that shit you just said made my brain turn into mush and now I can't stop thinking about it you rockhead bastard.

Agares, covering his ears with his pillow not wanting to hear the hopeless pining for the hundredth time: Uh-huh.

( 💫 Agares and Kerori, the tsundere duo because it's literally my drug 💫 )

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

Asmodeus, speaking to himself : Listen here, Alice. You don't want to have a stain on your honored position as Iruma-sama's soulmate. So you shall NOT allow your insufferable feelings get the better of you.

Iruma, does something Iruma-like:

Asmodeus, being incredibly in love: Fuck.

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #4

Ronove: You're just like me!

Zeze: Oh I can see~

Ronove and Zeze singing together dramatically: We take responsibilties~

Vine, mumbling in a corner about shiny people being way too sparkling: Oh derkila, TWO of these types now?

The rest of the student council except Ameri, realizing that they're gonna have another version of Ronove: Aw fuck.

( Student council shenanigans because I can.)

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #5

Misfit Class: We finally have a plan.

Balam: As long as it doesn't get you illegally in trouble

Misfit Class:

Balam:

Lied: FUCK! We planned this shit for two hours already!

.

.

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So yeah that's all. I decided to be nice and give them a break on the dark humor and trauma thing. Don't expect this to be your usual. This is one-in a life time sorta thing. Anyways I hope you enjoyed my post and have a good day or night guys, gals and non-binary pals!

[far-from-fran]

What are the examples of your "cringefail x [gender]failure" ships? xD

I'm so glad you asked!!!!!!😁

@kpchrs

Ok! So! I'd probably have to start with Hijack!

Hijack

Hiccup (httyd) x Jack Frost (Rise of the Guardians (great movie btw😊)) If we're going by htty1 Hiccup would be the boyfailure, and Jack would be the cringefail. But, if we're talking about httyd2, then Hiccup would be the cringefail and Jack would be the boyfailure. The shit they go through and the way I write them really fits that dynamic.

Ashnifico!

Asha x King Magnifico (Disney's Wish) King Magnifico is kind of like a cringey and underappreciated dad, it's so funny. Like, he's supposed to be this intimidating and evil-as-fuck villain, but he's just so cute. Like, look at him twirl:

"I'm glowing! :D"

This is after he's turned evil too, so. Lol

And, Asha is the girlfailure, because... she's just a mess of a character. 😂 Like, I love her, but she's a mess. All the characters kind of are, but, that's kind of why I love them.❤️

Roceit!!!!! :D

Yeeeeeeeeeesssssss! Ok!

Roman "Creativity" Sanders x Janus "Deceit" Sanders from Sanders Sides:

There's a (too) big section of the fandom that (only) sees Janus as this suave and debonair mystery man, which is definitely what Janus wants to be seen as. But, in reality, he's just a big dork! (affectionate)

Picks him up and hold him under a flashlight Look at him! LOOK AT HIM!

So, Janus is the cringefail.😂

Roman! :D Roman is the boyfailure. My mans is... Not Winning. (Which is partially his own fault) (Who said that!?👀)

He's so good, though! I love him! Like, more Roman being happy, please! Enough with the ANGST! (lighthearted... also kinda serious.😂)

I have a fic for them planned. (When don't I? Lol) Well, it's for all the Sanders sides, but it's going to feature roceit heavily. Which I said I wasn't going to do, because I wanted to feature all the sides equally, but here we are.😂 I hope I can get the first chapter out soon!😁

Hmm. I had another one I wanted to talk about, but I don't remember what it was right now.🤷

Well, anyway, here's some honorable mentions:

Hiccabela

Hiccup (httyd2) x Isabela Madrigal (Encanto)

I think calling Isabela a girlfailure is a bit of a stretch, since her whole thing is being perfect. But, she's a bit of a girlfailure in my eyes, so that's all the counts.😌💅🏾

Quick Hiccabela edit I did:

Bunnydoll

Jax x Ragatha (The Amazing Digital Circus)

I hesitate to call Ragatha a girlfailure, but, eh... she's not exactly Winning. Which isn't entirely her fault. It's, like, 90% Jax's fault.

Jax is definitely a cringefail, though. To me, at least. I guess he would technically need to fail more, but whatever. There's only two episodes out, as of writing this, but I'm pretty sure he's going to be failing a LOT more in the future.😂

Hmm. Maybe, I'll switch the roles? Jax is the boyfailure and Ragatha is the cringefail? Eh, whatever.🤷 It works either way.😂

I JUST REMEMBERED!!! I almost sent it without talking about the Cringfail x Girlfailure ship of all time.😂

GuitarSpear

Adam x Lute (Hazbin Hotel)

Adam is just... the worst, and Lute is a girlfailure, because, like, girl Raise your standardsssssssssss!!!!😭 (affectionate) I can't wait to see more of them in season two.😊

But, yeah.😂 Those are my "cringefail x [gender]failure" ships. Feel free to ask more about these or any of my other ships. I ship a lot of stuff. Oh! There's a crossover ship tournament going on, if you want to vote. No pressure. It's just for fun anyway. I put in a link to the hashtag if you're interested: Crossover ship poll tournament. It's hosted by Rapunzel Crossover Queen. They're great!😊

[sirthisisa-wendys]

hello! it's my first time seeing your blog and MY GOD I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT LIKE I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY READING ALL OF YOUR WORKS!! I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE A GOD SEND

anyways, may I request bonten x a reader that has back pain? I have really bad flare-ups especially when it's cold and it has been freezing every night where I live, so on top of having sinus because of the cold, I also have to deal with back pain :(

WOW OMG THANK YOU??!!!! I am shooketh and honored, love!

You may request and I am happy to deliver! (Let me know if there was someone I missed! I took some out for the length so I wouldn't overwhelm, but if you want the other members, lemme know!)

Come Thru & Chill: Ran Haitani/ Rindou Haitani/ Takeomi Akashi/ Kakucho Hitto x Fem!Reader

wc: 800

tw: fluff

masterlist

Ran & Rindou Haitani

The brothers are a dynamic duo in and out of the fighting realm. Especially now, when they're taking such good care of you.

"You want another blanket?"

"No," you whisper, snuggling under the three Rindou has already brought you. "This is perfect."

"Are you sure?" Ran wonders, holding his share of items - a mug full of warm tea, medicine, and a box of tissues.

"I'm sure." Ran sets the items on the nightstand next to you, then sits in the chair beside the bed. Rindu takes his place at the foot of the bed, flicking on the TV and flipping through the channels until he lands on one you like - the black and white one that plays classic movies.

"This movie was good," you murmur, blowing your nose into a tissue before humming alone to the opening credits. "Have you seen it?"

"Yeah, once," Rindou replies. "But if you're recommending it, we should watch it together." Ran agrees with a simple grunt, and you three are entranced by the movie's opening scenes set in a place you'd never been.

You reckon you'd fallen asleep mid-way through because when you wake up, the two men are on either side of you and tucked under the covers. Your pain has eased considerably, and you silently thank them for their kindness with a couple of forehead kisses.

Takeomi Akashi

It's been a long day, but Takeomi is prepared for a long night when he steps into the house, rubbing his forehead.

"Babe?" Takeomi calls out, walking through the house and setting his things down where they belong. "Babe?"

"In here," you call out, and Takeomi follows the sliver of light from the hallway, his fingers loosening his tie and untucking his shirt.

"Hey, sweetheart--" He stops when he sees you grimacing in the bed, your face contorted into a painful expression. "Oh, shit."

"Just need help reaching the floor," you whisper, and Takeomi hurries to your side, reaching his hands out for you to steady yourself.

"You need the heating pad?" Takeomi wonders, his eyes glancing over at the nightstand.

"Sure," you reply and shuffle your way to the bathroom with his help. Once you're situated, Takeomi wanders back into the bedroom, pulls the heating pad out from the dresser, plugs it in, and places it right where your back would lay.

"Ready when you are." He comes back into the bathroom as you're brushing your teeth carefully. "How long has it been hurting?"

"A few hours," you admit, and Takeomi nods, biting his inner lip. It isn't long before you both trudge back to the bedroom, and he helps you into the bed, relishing in the sound of your satisfied sigh when your back hits the pillows. "Thank you, baby."

"Anytime," he coos, pulling the sheets around you and kissing your lips. "Anything for my girl."

Kakucho Hitto

"Hey, how long until you get back?" Your husband looks at his watch and then answers,

"Ten minutes."

"Okay..."

"Are you feeling alright?" Something in him tells him you're not, so he's pressing his foot down on the gas before you can answer. "I'm on my way."

When Kakucho arrives in the house, he quickly locates you beside the couch. "Hey," he whispers, crouching down so you can see his face. "Let's get you somewhere comfier, yeah?"

"Yeah," you whine, your bottom lip trembling. Kakucho hefts you up by placing his hands under your armpits and cradling you in his arms.

"Just another one of those nights." When you're in bed and covered by many blankets, your husband presses his hand to your forehead and determines you have a slight chill.

"Give me five minutes. I'm going to warm up some tea for you."

"You really do love me," you tease, smiling.

"I sure do." Kakucho kisses your forehead before leaving your side and sticking to his schedule. Five minutes pass, and he returns with a pill and a small cup of tea. "Take this for the cold, and the tea will have you asleep in no time." You obey as he undresses, watching him continue his evening routine without fail.

You're drowsy when Kakucho returns from washing his face and nearly asleep when he pulls out a book he's been reading for a few weeks.

"Should I read to you before bed?"

"You should," you reply, snuggling into him as the pain fades slightly. Kakucho's voice lulls you into a comfortable sleep, each word he reads soothing your aches and pains like a sweet salve you could only conjure up in your dreams.

When you've fallen asleep, Kakucho closes his book and turns the light out, resting your head on his chest so you could listen to his heartbeat for the rest of the night.

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

Promo time!!

Hm?

Oof a body

Uh oh a specific killer 😬?

Ope nope a pentagram o.o

OPE NOPE BOTH 😭😬

YOOO MEKIA'S NEW HAIR oh my gosh that's slaying so hard

Oh gosh I.o

I wonder how many 😬

Ope her husband o.o?

Out committing another murder 😬 o.o?

NOPE ope O.O

So her/another family member or somebody else is continuing it o.o uh oh 😭 xd

Oh gosh xd

Well that's gonna be DRAMATIC and I am looking forward to it it looks so fun :D

Loving again the look that it'll be more of them all working together!! I'm loving that so much this season :))

Well, that's about the last of my last thoughts, so now it's onto the. . .

REVIEW

I loved this episode!! I thought it was really good :D. The scary vibe was really cool lol :). And while the isolation would've been interesting, I think it fit well into the time slot it was given, and I'm glad we got to see the others still. Also, again, it helped us move storylines along without wasting time, which is something that unfortunately needs to be done in this shorter season 😭. Still, besides Aaron and Celina maybe being a bit quick (but I'm not mad about it lol), nothing seems too rushed! Anyway, it was a really great episode :D. Loved all the plots :)! Also there were some really hilarious moments XDD 😂. Even a laughing emoji, I know, I'm crazy lol (thought about just saying "wild lol", bc it's just something I don't tend to do).

Also,regarding this review: again, not quite as serious as my main ones lol

Anyway!

Onwards to the characters/individual plotlines/details :))

I'm really glad I got to watch this tonight by the way, if not live :D it was a cool episode :)!! I nearly said live just a second ago though lol, and I was like ". . what am I talking about? And what am I actually trying to say here lol" xD. That's what I had to do to get here lol. Anyway!

Back a week later lol. I want to watch last night's (the next one compared to this review) episode tonight, so this will be quick lol.

Loved seeing my besties Angela and Nyla!! They didn't do too much in the way of actually stopping what was happening in the island, but I do think it's definitely a good thing they showed up. They got everything sorted and hey, they got a little vacation out of it too. And got to be epic 🥰. Slay, I love them <33. I did miss Wesley though lol, and James too. Also Gray just being like "whatever" was iconic lol.

Tim, Lucy, and Celina's case was wild lol!! I am glad they didn't just dismiss it, and actually figured out what happened. Even with the mind games, Celina seriously slayed this episode :DD.

LUCY MADE DETECTIVE!!! YAYYY WHOO CONGRATS GIRL 🥳🥳🥰🥰🥰. She did get 17th, but you know, it counts!! She slayed anyway <33. And the scene at the end with her and Tim was so cute 🥰🥰. Your honor I love them so much 😭😭❤️🥺🥰.

I don't remember what Aaron did much, but I do remember that him and Celina are doing better!! And I'm really glad for that :). They could be cute together, but I love them as friends and I really think it was just his trauma. Glad they're doing better now though :)).

John and Bailey!! Using his first name since it's his honeymoon lol. He deserves it xD. Anyway, I am so glad they're okay lol. Kinda idiots for going to people's houses in the middle of the night and what not, not to mention following murder sounds, but hey xD. What can you do lol, they're heroes. Anyway, these trouble magnets made it xD. And hey, at least they had a bit of honeymooning in there lol! I am glad they got their bit at the end though :')). It sucks the actual thing didn't work out too well, but I'm happy for them overall <3.

Overall, I really loved this episode! I thought the format was cool, and even if it would've made it feel more isolated, I'm glad we didn't just see Bailey and Nolan. Plus, everyone else had plots that did need moving along. Still, it was really enjoyable! Loved the creepy vibes, it was so fun :D.

So yeah! I really liked this episode, it was a nice switch of pace from what it usually is. I'm excited for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

The Rookie, Season 6, Episode 3: Trouble in Paradise

I loved it! I'm so excited for the next episode, it looks super interesting. And, of course, dramatic :)! I'll be back next time for my review of. . .

The Rookie, Season 6, Episode 4: Training Day

See you then!

[plasticfreckles]

how aforementioned fictional men from this post would react to the fact that my prof failed my paper WITHOUT EVEN READING IT

(we're still in love obvs bc ive had so many breakdowns about this over the weekend that theyve kinda fused into one long-winded breakdown just lemme have this my sanity is holding on by a thread and its getting thinner by the second)

jaal ama darav: would still not have this problem, but would let me cry into his chest tentacles and go to my university and cause a scene my guy

liam kosta: well guess what bitch we're having takeout and boba and comfort movies and SO MANY BLANKETS AND STRING LIGHTS

saren arterius: would have either bribed prof and/or uni so this would not happen, but if it DID happen theyve got another thing coming honey

thane krios: ok now he'll help. help me write long sentences and also intimidate the prof bc wow are you a dishonorable shitbag sweet chalupa jesus

zevran arainai: murder now? too late already did it you're welcome oh they already marked it failed in the system? no problem let me just [daggers the servers] now lemme smash

banck trevelyan: we are now having a mental breakdown together we're writing a new paper and it only says [prof is a whorechild] its very cathartic

dorian pavus: the audacity on this professor. runs them out of their job faster than they can say "failed"

jackie welles: ok now they're getting beat up within an inch of their life he said he'd catch a case if the prof didn't let me pass and they didn't so now he's gotta back his words up with action its really on the prof your honor

johnny silverhand: assuming the place had not been nuked prior to this event would do it then even if he told me to shut up, stop crying and cowgirl up earlier. (could also just mean you're too dumb for this degree shit. - well YEAH but they could've figured it out BEFORE im about to start my thesis paper thankyouverymuch)

goro takemura: that would mean that really, the arasaka goon he got to write my paper for me failed, so they're getting run out of their job so far they may as well just live in a cardboard box. also blackmail the prof

river ward: damn girl that sucks. need a hug? want me to run for another pizza? drive you to a different library? like tell me what you need and youll have but you'll need to tell me (river i dont KNOW what i need) damn girl that sucks. need another hug?

dorn il-khan: the sucker is so dead he'll find a way to get into lunia and kill them again bc obviously dying once wasn't enough for them to get their shit together

rasaad yn bashir: would go to the prof and just talk at them until they read the fucking paper

data: honestly would just download the grading guide and do it himself also add the fact i was failed without having been assessed into the profs file dont worry about it its fine

thranduil oropherion: bitch NOT ONLY did they assign THE QUEEN a paper they FAILED her?! lemme drag their ass to mordor ill drop their disgusting head into the firepits myself and it will not be attached to their body anymore

kim nam joon: damn girl that sucks. want me to check if there's a place you can report it to? because that doesn't sound normal. are we sure they're not on a power trip and you just got to deal with it? anyway we'll fix this together and you'll pass don't you worry about a thing

dustin bates: wow they FAILED you without doing their fucking WORK? [drops track about aint-shit opportunist bastards and capitalism commercializing education like bitch i paid 160€ in this assumed free education country for a degree the least you could do is do your fucking job]

the apocalypse dj: ["accidentally" backflips into the prof so they drop their notebook and it breaks wow looks like karma's a bitch huh]

[lyralumina]

THEY’RE IN LOVE YOUR HONOR!

[jcbbby]

A Chance Meeting pt.3.

Y'all. Y'ALL. Get ready. This is your warning. This is a doozy, both in content and in length. The 3rd and final part to this saga. I truly have been so overwhelmed with the love on the first two parts. I threw the first installment up on a whim, my first bit of writing on here ever, and it's been so great to have such wonderful feedback on it. Thank you for sticking with me! Also lmao, the "song" that appears in this...listen, I pulled those lyrics out of my ass. They're not a song I've or anyone else has ever written. They're corny, I know. Ignore that lol....anyway...

Synopsis: By chance, you meet the person you've admired most from afar, Jamie Campbell Bower. By luck, a friendship blossoms. Or perhaps...more? Over the course of a whirlwind week, your wildest dreams start to become reality.

Pt. 1 here. Pt. 2 here.

Warnings: Swears, alcohol, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it in real life, kids).

-11:15pm. Friday.-

You and Jamie sat next to the other at the hotel bar, elbows propped up on the flat countertop, facing each other. You sipped your glass of wine in between laughs and upbeat conversation. You felt an ease you hadn't felt in so long, like everything in your life thus far had simply been leading up to this innocuous moment in time. Jamie glanced at your empty glass in front of you.

"Would you like another? On me, of course." Jamie asked, pushing his hair back with one hand. You looked down at the glass and back at him. "If you want, I mean. No pressure. Again, not trying to get you drunk..." He put his hands up in front of him and leaned back slightly, smiling.

You laughed and lightly smacked your hand down on the bar. "You know what, why not. It's Friday night, and I played a damn good show, I earned it." You smirked.

"Absolutely!" He exclaimed, raising a hand to get the attention of the bartender. "Could we get another glass, please? Cheers, mate. Thanks." The bartender nodded and grabbed a bottle to pour into your glass.

"I know I keep saying it Jamie, but really, thank you so much for coming to the show. I mean, you've truly been such a huge inspiration for me, and I've been a fan of your music for years. It's just so mind-blowing to think you've heard music I've written." You looked down as you took a sip of your fresh glass of wine.

"Aw, Y/N...you wonderful girl." he tilted his head, with a smile that reached his eyes. "That means so much, love. I'm so honored to have been even a sliver of inspiration to music as great as yours. Thank you. And you know, you're going places, I'm sure of it." He smiled and placed his hand over yours on the counter.

You glanced down at his hand on yours, and then up to meet his gaze. Your heart raced and you felt your face flush as you smiled, your eyes tilting slightly downward as you nearly let tears well up. Before this week, you never saw yourself getting out of your current station in life. It was hard to believe in yourself, and believe you were talented enough to achieve what you wanted. But sitting here, as Jamie of all people told you he believed in you, it felt like a dream. For even just a moment, you believed in yourself too.

"Thank you, Jamie. I just...I can't thank you enough." You shook your head, still unsure if this had all just been a very long dream. You took another sip from your glass.

"You know, I've actually started writing a new song since I've been here. It's not finished yet, but perhaps you'd like to hear it? I mean, you've so generously shared your music with me, it's only fair I do the same, right?" He smirked.

Your eyes widened as your lips parted into a toothy smile. "Are you kidding?! Oh my god, yeah I'd love to hear it!"

He chuckled. "Alright, grab your drink, love. Let's go up to my room, I've got my guitar with me."

You nodded and obliged, picking up your glass and scooting yourself off the bar seat. You followed him toward the elevator, wondering what you were about to hear. Riding up to the 19th floor of the hotel, he held his arm in front of him as the doors opened, allowing you to step out first. He then took the lead down the hall, halting outside a door. He rummaged around his pockets for a few seconds, before pulling out a key and tapping it to the door, it making the door click unlocked. He opened and held the door for you as you entered the large suite.

"Wow, they really put you up well, huh?" You glanced around. Items of clothing and bags were scattered throughout the room. Not a mess, but enough to make the room look lived in for several days.

Jamie chuckled. "Oh, yeah... Accommodations are often a surprise when they're booked by PR team. Sometimes they're tiny little rooms, other times they're like a castle. I'm always happiest with something in between, like this." He bent down to open his guitar case.

You sat on the end of the bed, watching him remove the beautiful light amber acoustic guitar from it's case. He turned to sit on the armrest of the sofa, across from you, with one leg up on the sofa cushion to rest the guitar on his thigh, as the other leg remained stretched out down to the floor. Sliding a guitar pick off the coffee table and into his hand, he quickly tuned the instrument. You watched him thinking to yourself how good he looked holding that guitar, his hair falling into his face, his long fingers over the strings.

"Okay..." He shifted himself slightly, pushing the hair behind his ear, and cleared his throat. "Like I said, it's not finished yet. So don't judge too harshly." He smirked.

He began playing, plucking a sweet and simple tune. You instinctively smiled as he started singing. His voice soft and deep, warm and passionate. He sang with a controlled, quiet intensity, his eyes looking down at the guitar, as his fingers slow danced across the fretboard. You listened to the lyrics he crooned, trying to get a feel for what the song was about. As you listened, your eyes welled up slightly, feeling goosebumps ripple across your skin.

"She longs for more in life But if she could only see She's got the whole world in her eyes And she amazes me Each time she smiles Or glances over at me I can hear the heavens cry And I just want to make her mine"

He went on for a bit longer, before he started to trail off. He looked up at you, for the first time since he started the song.

"That's all I've got so far..." he smiled sheepishly.

"Jamie, that...was beautiful. I loved it." You brought your hands up, placing them against your chest, over your heart.

"Thank you, love." He held his shy smile.

He got up off the sofa and bent down to lay the guitar back into it's case. Closing the top of the case, he came to sit next to you on the bed. There was a few seconds of a heavy feeling silence before you turned and opened your mouth to speak.

"I um...I really wish you didn't have to leave tomorrow." You placed a hand on his leg, not even realizing.

"I know, darling. I would love to stay even just a day longer. It's been great here." He looked into your eyes.

"I've just, had the best time of my life getting to know you. I feel so lucky." You let out a breathy laugh.

Jamie smiled and placed his hand on top of yours, both resting on his thigh. "I've felt so lucky getting to know you as well, Y/N." He paused for just a beat. "You know...if I'm being honest, that song was largely inspired by you." His thumb began ever so slightly caressing the top of your hand.

You blushed, your heart beginning to race, a surge of electricity running through your blood. "Me? Oh, Jamie...you sweetheart, I don't know what to say." you held his gaze, biting your bottom lip slightly as you smiled.

"I really like you, Y/N." Jamie said, as both of you started to lean in slightly.

You felt like you could combust at any moment. Is this really happening right now? You thought.

"I- I really...like you too." You stuttered, trying to comprehend what was happening.

Jamie broke eye contact, looking down to take both of your hands in his. You looked down as well, following his hands with your eyes as they enveloped yours. You both looked back up at each other. You hoped he couldn't feel how fast your pulse was going.

"Y/N...can I kiss you?" Jamie asked, his eyes full of longing.

You blinked a few times and swallowed, trying to not let the surge or energy you felt building in your body come out from your mouth in whatever way it was trying to escape. You bring your eyes back to center, looking into his and nod. "...yes."

He gave a slight smile as his eyes diverted downward towards your mouth. He brought a hand up to cup your cheek. Slowly, he leaned into you, his lips softly pressing into yours. The kiss was quick, breaking after a few seconds. He leaned his forehead against yours. You felt an energy building between the two of you, almost like a magnetic pull. You breathed a few times, feeling that energy begin to pulsate, and before either of you could say anything, you found yourself crashed against each other's lips again. This time, a raw hunger seemed to engulf the both of you. His lips parted, his tongue asking for entrance, which you allowed. Your arms reached to him, and his to you, hands grabbing at the other's bodies, trying to pull them closer.

Jamie began pushing your jacket up over your shoulders, revealing the tank top you were wearing beneath it. He moved his head down after letting the jacket fall to the floor, leaving love bites on your neck and on your collarbone. You moaned sweetly as his teeth and lips moved over your skin, your hand traveling up his back and into his blonde locks. Jamie's hand began to make it's way under your tank top, caressing your waist, inching closer to your breasts. He stopped just before taking your left breast in his hand.

"Is this okay?" He asked against your neck, placing a kiss just under your ear.

"Yes...I want you, Jamie..." You breathed out, as his hand moved up under your bra and began massaging. His mouth ventured back up to yours as he started making circles with his thumb around your nipple. You moaned slightly against his kiss, breaking it for just a few seconds as you quickly removed the tank top. Your lips met again, Jamie's hands wrapping around your back to unclasp your bra. You then began inching his shirt up, asking without words to remove it. He leaned away to allow you to bring the shirt over his head, revealing his tattoos, and toss it to the side.

He took you in his arms, laying you down on your back. He laid against you, pressing your shirtless top halves against each other, skin to skin. He went back to your breasts, beginning to suck on one nipple while his thumb moved back and forth across the other, then switching, making sure to give ample and equal attention to each.

Once he felt satisfied with his work, he reached for the button of your jeans, looking up at you for assurance. You nodded as he looked back down, undoing the button and zipper, continuing to plant kisses down your thigh as he slid your jeans over them. Letting them fall to the floor, he leaned back in, kissing and gently biting your thigh as he played with the hem of your panties. Twisting his pointer fingers around either side of the fabric, he began sliding them down, revealing your whole body now to him.

"You're so fucking stunning." He said breathlessly, taking a moment to take every part of you in, before leaning over, planting kisses from just under your chest, back down to your thigh.

He glanced up at you, eyes full of admiration, before bring his hands to your thighs. He gently parted them, bringing his mouth to your heat. Your breath hitched, as you felt his tongue working on you, working some kind of magic. You let out a moan, as he smiled against you.

"Jamie..." you breathed, and tried to stifle another moan, suddenly acutely aware of being in a hotel and having neighbors in nearby rooms.

Jamie looked up suddenly. "No, you let it out babe. I want to hear you." He smirked.

He took this opportunity to slip a finger inside, bringing his tongue back against you, immediately doing the come hither motion with his finger. Your hips began to buck against him, and your hands quickly buried themselves in his hair as your head flew backward against the pillows. Your moans grew louder as he slipped in another finger and began pumping. You felt your pleasure building up in your stomach as Jamie continued. Before you could let yourself come undone, your hands brought Jamie's face back up to yours, as you pushed your lips against his, his face moistened by you.

You reached down and began fumbling with his belt. He smiled against your lips, before leaning back on to his knees to assist you in removing his trousers. He rolled over on to his back to kick them and his boxers off, before rolling back on top of you. He hovered briefly, forehead pressed against yours, before lining himself up and slowly pushing inside of you. You both moaned as he let you adjust to his length. He sighed as he leaned back in, wasting no time pushing his tongue into your mouth, as he began to thrust.

Like he had asked of you, you were not shy in verbally encouraging him. You probably wouldn't have been able to if you tried to keep quiet, the man sure knew what he was doing.

"Fuck...oh fuck...you feel so good baby." Jamie breathed in your ear as he picked up his pace.

In a quick shuffle, he propped himself on his knees, lifting your legs up, holding them at a 90 degree angle in his arms to give him leverage, as he continued. This position allowed him to hit exactly where you needed it to.

"Oh shit...fuck..." Your back arched as you gripped the sheets. "Just like that...mmm..."

You could feel yourself tensing around him as he kept going. He would change up the pace, going from hard and fast, to slow and deep, and it was driving you wild. You felt your pleasure reaching it's peak. "Fuck...Jamie, I...oh god..." You moaned as your legs began to shake.

"Hold on, darling..." Jamie whispered, between grunts. "I want to look at you."

He lowered your legs to either side of him, bringing his hands behind your back, and lifted you up toward him. His legs stretched out under you, so that you were facing each other, his hands supporting your lower back as you both continued to rock your hips in rhythm with the other. Your arms rested on his shoulders as you both looked into each other's eyes. With a couple more thrusts, you felt yourself come undone, seeing white as you threw your head back in ecstasy.

"That's it, baby..." Jamie moaned, loving the show you were giving him.

You fell forward into him as your arms wrapped tighter around his neck, riding out your high. Within seconds he also reached his release, tightly wrapping his arms around your waist, moaning next to your ear. The two of you were left clinging to the other as your movements slowed down, leaving you both breathing heavily, in a haze of bliss. You smiled into his neck, gently placing a soft kiss. Jamie carefully laid the both you back on the bed, taking you in his arms and holding you against his chest, caressing your shoulder. He took in a deep breath and let it out with a content sigh, before kissing the top of your head.

"You're amazing." Jamie said, leaning his head against yours.

You smiled as you began tracing his skull tattoo. "You're not too bad yourself." You smirked.

You laid together, intertwined for a few moments. You were tired, but at the same time, the most awake you've ever been. Slightly zoned out, blissed out, still letting your finger explore the lines of his chest art, Jamie spoke and brought you back down to earth.

"You should come see me in LA soon." He smiled, softly playing with your fingers.

You smiled back. "I think I would love that." You paused, your smile fading just slightly. "Jamie...this isn't just going to be some hook up thing, is it?" You looked into his eyes, slight concern taking over your face.

Jamie now took your hand firmly in his and brought it to his lips, kissing it, before squeezing you tighter against him, placing his head in the crook of your neck.

"No, darling. No, I have a feeling this is the start of something truly beautiful." He whispered.

*************************************************

THE END. The rest is up for your imagination. :)

Thank you SO MUCH for sticking around and for all the overwhelming love on this. I hope this final part was sufficient for you! I appreciate every single person who liked, reblogged, interacted with any of these posts. I wish the world for you. <3

People who asked to be tagged: @nyleen @nograce-nomercy @dark-academia-slut

[juicenet]

top 10 gayest h2o episodes: a definitive ranking

i'm back with another ranking, but this time it's a little different! today, i'll be ranking the top 10 gayest episodes of h2o: just add water. (in MY opinion. i realize that this show has no canonically LGBT+ characters, but come on, the subtext. also, i write sapphic h2o fanfiction, what did you expect?) anyway, please don't take this too seriously, it's just for fun.

ranking below the cut!

honorable mention: 1x05 "something fishy"

i'm just going to link this post and let it speak for itself.

10. 1x26 "a twist in the tail"

the episode where the girls are "outed" (the official h2o jaw youtube channel uses this term, no joke) to dr. denman, zane, his father, and nearly the world. thankfully they're able to avert exposure with advice from their gay mermaid mentor/queer elder, miss chatham. however, they begrudgingly have to give up their tails (temporarily, though they don't know this). even with the challenges that being gay a mermaid poses, they've still come to love what they are.

9. 2x11 "in over our heads"

rikki almost dies trying to retrieve a deep-sea treasure and emma cradles rikki's head in her arms while trying to save her. so... yeah. emma also shows hostility towards rikki's boyfriend, zane... and i get that he was a mermaid hunter last season, but this also reads like emma is jealous of his relationship with rikki. but on the flipside, zikki is kind of like a het relationship for gay people. idk. there's a lot going on here.

8. 3x21 "the jewel thief"

rikki and bella's moon crystal necklaces gravitate towards each other and cause a city-wide electrical blackout. this is gay, please don't make me explain. oh, cleo also gets a matching crystal necklace in this episode and the girls all wear them to symbolize their "friendship" (or are they just in a throuple? nobody knows).

7. 1x18 "bad moon rising"

mainly put this episode here because of emma's iconic line to rikki: "if we're going somewhere we're going together" and then their smoldering gazes that follow. but, generally, the subtext is off-the-wall. when rikki loses control of her powers, she thinks she's a danger to society and tries to isolate herself—just like how gay people have been told for thousands of years that we're destructive to society. this one is kinda sad actually :(

6. 1x07 "moon spell"

not only are we introduced to camp gay miss chatham, but there's something really queercoded about embarrassing your family at a party (as emma does in this episode). she also calls rikki "rikki baby" and now i'm realizing that this ranking is pretty much a love letter to rikma.

5. 2x04 "fire and ice"

sometimes i think the writers just forgot who rikki's canon love interest was at the time?? half of these season 2 episodes frame rikki and emma as girlfriends. anyway, emma's desire to be rebellious and wild reads like a baby gay trying to be something they're not after coming out. in the b plot, nate tells lewis he's not "manly" enough and the latter struggles with this. maybe it was unintentional, but some lines make it seem like the show is queercoding lewis. i'm here for it, either way.

4. 2x17 "moonstruck"

a moonstruck rikki and cleo try to expose emma as a mermaid to ash, but without context, you'd think they're trying to tell him that emma's a lesbian and that's why she's been so secretive and distant with him. another mermaid=gay allegory? no one knows for sure, but sources (me) say yes!

3. 2x06 "pressure cooker"

ah, yes... another episode where the writers forgot that rikki and emma weren't dating, included multiple scenes of them on an actual date, and hoped we wouldn't notice. plus, we see that rikki is emma's phone wallpaper. cleo and charlotte also could've had an enemies-to-lovers moment here, but what do i know?

2. 1x01 "metamorphosis"

three teenage girls discover something life-altering about themselves and must stay closeted keep the secret from the rest of society. in the process, they become much closer to one another but also feel isolated from their families and other girls their age. are we reeeally certain that this isn't an allegory? sure, a lot of this applies to the rest of the show, but "metamorphosis" is the episode that started it all, so...

1. 2x18 "the heat is on"

this episode is actually the reason i made this ranking. not only does rikma's homoerotic feud cause a thunderstorm, but they (+ cleo) ditch their boyfriends at the juicenet to celebrate their "anniversary" of becoming mermaids. okay, straighties! bonus points for zane and ash's UST during that game of pool.

end notes

it doesn't surprise me that this list consists mostly of season 2 episodes, because rikma was probably at its peak (imo) in the first half of season 2. it also doesn't surprise me that only a single season 3 episode is here. i'm not sure why that is—maybe it's emma's absence, maybe it's the way the tone of the show shifted considerably from the end of season 2 to the beginning of season 3. anyway, hope you enjoyed this :-)

[nightfall-kachiniko]

I never thought I would make it.

“Congratulations cadets, you are officially deemed a soldier, welcome to the scouting regiment,”

It’s hard to believe im even still alive.

You stood in the crowd of your now newly named comrades, your fist over your heart as it pounded in and out of your chest. Realization overcoming you as you looked around the crowd. “Seven..no eight..” You mumbled, counting the peoples heads. One in particular stuck out to you. “Oh, the quiet girl who’s always with Eren?” You questioned yourself, as an answer popped into your head about her cause of joining, “Probably for him..”

It had been days since your promotion from cadet to soldier.

The people all around the lunch room talking and chatted as you sat at the table with Eren, Armin and Mikasa. Jean sat next to you with Sasha and Connie across the table, right beside Mikasa. “That wasn’t fair! The captain doesn’t understand how hard i’m trying to master my titan ability!” The emerald eyed teen whined, hiding his face in her elbow in stress. “I’d say not to worry about it Eren,” Mikasa suggested in response as she sipped her soup.

“Yeah, Mikasa’s right!” Artlert exclaimed, “There's no way he’ll punish you for that incident earlier, it was after all an accident!” He shrugged, reassuring Eren.

“I just hope he doesn’t tell section commander Hange to help me with it.. They’re nuts,”

“Keep in mind you don’t need to master it, just gain control,” You blattered out, overhearing their conversation. The black haired girl with the red scarf looked towards you, her eyes narrowed in a stren confusion. “A-ah..er.. Sorry I didn’t mean to intrude in your conversation..” You blushed as she looked at you, your eyes quickly moving away, hiding the rose that came upon your face. “Your fine,” She said, looking away from you. “That’s okay y/n! Thanks for the advi-”

“THATS IT!” Eren suddenly yelled, pounding the table with his fist. “You’re right y/n! I just need to have control!” The brown haired boy realized with a smile on his face. “Thanks!”

“O-oh uhm no problem!” You said in his response.

The girl still had her eyes on you, almost as if she was watching you closely, observing you. Even during training, Mikasa’s eyes always fell right onto you. It was as if she was watching a child.

“AGH! ANNIE OKAY!” You yelled in hailt for your fighting trainer to stop. The dirt flew in your eyes as you crashed to the ground, your body in a sharp pain. You tried clearing the dirt in your eyes as you were kicked in the side. “AH! I SAID STOP GODDAMNIT!” You backed up, wiping your eyes. “That hurt like a bitch..” You grumbed, the side of your stomach in pain. “Its not my fault your skills in hand-to-hand combat are awful,” The blonde said, staring at you below her. “You think you could go a bit slower next time?! This is training where we help each other improve, not kick each other's asses!”

“Hey,” A familiar voice called out, steps getting closer. “That was uncalled for, Leonhart,”

“Hm?” The blonde looked behind you, The voice coming closer, “And so what if it wasn’t?” Annie said, her arms crossed at her chest. You felt an intensity gain in the atmosphere. The air was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Mikasa, still glaring Annie down, crouched at you side, “Are you alright Y/n?” The females voice questioned. You wiped your eyes with your shirt, water coming out as well as the sand that had been in your eyes. “Here,” Mikasa handed a tissue to you as you wiped with that instead. She stood up, glaring the blonde down, predator on pray. “You need to be more gente, keep in mind what would happen if you got caught by Captian hurting someone,”

Annie scoffed and brushed the hair out of her face, “Yeah, you’re right, but this is training, I can be as hard as I want on Y/n, after all, we’re soldiers remember?”

“Yeah, I remember, and you sure as hell don’t look like one,” Mikasa replied, leaving the blonde’s face more aggravated. A crowd suddenly formed behind them, “Oh shit are they about to fight?” Connie said, looking at the both of them and how their eyes locked sternly onto each other “No way! I’ve gotta see!” Sasha looked up from her plastic knife. Woah..wait.. Your mind wondered, are they seriously about to do this? Right now? Here? Mikasa’s the most calm and collected person I know.. And here she is, about to fight Annie.

“If you’re looking for a fight all because Y/n here is too weak, then bring it,” Leonhart smirked, holding out her hands in a steady punching position. “I’m always ready for anything,”

And with that Mikasa walked over to Annie, looking down at the girl. “Go ahead, hit me and see what happens,”

“Oh god…” Eren mumbled to himself, “why right now..”

“Mikasa! I don’t think this is a good idea!” Armin shouted at her.

“No, it’s a great one,” Mikasa looked over her shoulder at him, his face cautious, “Let’s see what you’ve got, Annie,”

You were frozen in position, too much in shock to get up. Why is she fighting over me? I mean nothing to her? Don’t I..?

“Try me, you bitch,”

“Brats break it up!” The captain yelled from across the yard, heading over to Mikasa and Annie. Levi pushed them apart from each other, scolding them, “Your lucky I don’t have much trouble with the both of you then I have with Kirsten and Jaeger,” His face in annoyance as he spoke. “Back to training you idiots, and I better not see it again,”

It seemed as though the days of being a newly graduated soldier were over as you soared through the sky. Enemies surrounded all around you as you drew your blade slicing the Jaw titan. Mikasa at your side as she helped take him down. Eren had became a monster, sneaking off to a forgien country and killing thousands of innocent civilians. It was all so new to the survey corps, and taking lives was something you didn't necessarily have a liking for.

All the screaming and yelling as the battle continued. You sprung your ODM gear onto the top of a building with terrified residents inside, their screams coming from the open window. You looked down as ash filled the air along with smoke. All around you laid bodies of people who no longer existed, their deceased corpses laid under rubble, some torn in half, some crushed. Wetness fell down your face like rain as you realized the situation before you.

“Y/N! KEEP MOVING!” Your girlfriend said as her black hair moved in the wind, her hand slightly touching your shoulder as she moved swiftly past you, her blades drawn and swinging at the Warhammer titan. Wiping your tears as you got a move on, avoiding the chaos to get a better look.

“But,” You studdered out, “what about the childre-”

A corpse of a little boy, no older than 8 laid beneath you, his head crushed open, a arm band on his shoul. “Why…”

“TONIGHT WE HONOR OUR SEVEN FALLEN COMRADES BY CELEBRATING ANOTHER STEP CLOSER TO ELDIAS VICTORY!” The soldiers all roared as Foster cheered them on.

“Is that everyone?” Jean called out after helping you on the aircraft, his hand in your pulling you up. “I think so!” You called back to him from above. Connie yanked you in the airship, fully getting inside as you rolled on the floor. “Geez con, mind being a bit more careful? Since where’d you get all that strength from?” Groaning out, you complained.

“Too much strength for a bald man anyways,” Sasha Joked around as Connie punched her in the arm, letting out a laugh. “Thanks you guys,” You softly smiled, “I really needed that,”

“Mission been hard for ya?” The bearded man questioned. “Yeah, really hard,”

“We wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that bozo looking guy in the back with Captain, Armin and Mikasa,” The brunette female said in annoyance, rolling her eyes as she fixed her gear, adjusting it. “I know right,” Jean commented, “We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him,”

“I’m just glad I still have you two,” The guy with barely any hair said, hugging Jean and Sasha. “You guys are important to me,”

He glanced up at you who was removing your heavy gear from your side, “And you too y/n,”

“Well thank you for making me feel included,” You joked around. Standing up as you lower the bottom of your shirt, “Welp, Imma go see where Eren is and try and get some sympathy for the innocent lives he killed out of him,”

“I doubt the suicidal maniac will have any to spare,” Jean rolled his eyes as a you smiled at his stupid remark. “Hopefully over dinner we can all talk and catch up while they're interrogating Eren ,”

“I Hope we’re having meat tonight!” The snack loving girl exclaimed, a glare of joy and hope in her eyes. “Me too we haven't had any in ages,” You crossed your arms. Jean gave you a soft smile before saying, “Later Y/n,”

“Alrighty,” You said, closing the door behind you as you stepped into the room where he was being held. Your girlfriend, Mikasa gave you a glance and a smile, love in her eyes as you responded by doing the same. Clearing your throat before looking away as the blush rose upon your faec you placed your eyes on Eren.

You stood next to Mikasa and Armin looking at the boy who you knew, but it was apparent to all of you that you no longer did. “I see the whole gang is here,” Zeke said, trying to kid around with his brother. “Shut up,” Captain spoke at the blonde with glasses, his legs steaming as well as Eren’s. Both of their hands were tied behind their back, Eren looked numbly to the floor, no expression to appear besides coldness. “You did put on a show Levi cutting off my limbs like that,”

“I’m glad I still, a shitbag like you doesn't deserve them,”

Levi glared down at the man, anger in his tone as he harshly spoke to him. “Eren,” You stated his name as Jaeger looked up at you, “Why did you decide to do this?” The brunette looked to the side, his once glowing emerald eyes now stone cold. “...” No words came out of his mouth, his expression not changing either. “Did you do this in a rage like you always do?”

So many unanswered questions roamed your head, dying for an answer. “We haven't seen you in months!” You shouted, getting angry with him. “And then you send us letters, demanding us to help you with this-!”

“I never begged you to do this y/n,” Eren finally spoke, his head still hanging low. “You basically did! You knew we would come, and you knew Mikasa would as well, and the rest of us!” Your lips spat at him in ignorance and frustration.

“You did all this for what use? What was the outcome of this besides getting Zeke!?”

Yet again no words. You sighed as you mumbled an “by the walls,” In frustration. “God this is no use is it?” your fingers pinching the bridge of your nose.

“Is this all a part of your revenge on the Marleyans?! On Annie Bertoldt and Reiner?!”

“Yes it is,” His hair hung in his face, messy and greasy locks tangled together. He looked like he was in terrible condition, malnourished and unhygienic.

“...wow, I can’t believe you.. Innocent kids over people who wronged you, Is death all you talk about?”

He nodded his head, glaring into your eyes as you paused, then looked at your feet. Mikasa grabbed your hand, holding it. “Thats enough y/n, he isn’t going to cooperate anyways,” She said in a calm manner, trying to avoid any argumenments.

“I doubt any-”

The sound of the heavy metal door coming open stopped you dead in your sentence, Jean came into the room along with 2 kids you had never seen before. His hand on their shoulders as the kids arms were tied together with rope.

“Jean?” Mikasa said, looking at him with a confused expression on her face. “Who are these brats?” The captain asked, annoyance in his voice.

“These kid’s snuck on board using Lobvo’s gear,” He explained.

“And this one,” Jean pointed to the brown haired girl, “Shot Sasha,”

A flame of shock came over you all as you looked at each other, Armin and Mikasa rushed out the room, tears building up in their eyes. You followed along with them as you whipped open the door.

“SASHA!” Mikasa said, running over to the injured woman and crouching to the ground. Armin went next to her side, Shaking her barely conscious body. “Are we...eating yet…..?” She whispered, a croak in her voice.

“SASHA PLEASE STAY WITH US!” Armin yelled, cupping her cheek and sobbing. All you could do was stand there, shock upon your face and your mouth agape.

“Why are you guys…..being...so...loud..”

Tears and sniffles along with screams of plea flooded the room, just as how it was outside. You put your hand over your mouth, slowly backing away as you cried to yourself. Backing against the wall and tears streaming down your face as you curled yourself into a ball.

“When will this ever end?”

[snake-rot]

(EXCLAIMING)

(ORCHESTRA MUSIC BLARING)

(GROANS)

(WHIMPERS)

(GRUNTING)

(MYSTICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(GROANS)

(COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(COUGHS)

Sweet home Alabama

Where the skies are so blue

WOMAN: Excuse me, sir, is there a commode?

Sweet home Alabama

(GRUNTING)

Lord, I'm coming home to you

(GRUNTS) Justin!

Quick, honey, take my picture. I got the pyramid in my hand.

(CAMERA CLICKING)

Yeah

Justin, you get back here right now!

No, stop!

GUARD 1: No, no, no! Stop him! GUARD 2: Go back! Don't climb!

(JUSTIN IMITATING AIRPLANE WHOOSHING)

Wait, wait.

Hold on. Easy, little boy.

Okay, stop, child! Stop right there. No!

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no, no! Oh! There he goes.

(GASPS)

Justin!

I've got him! I've got him!

(JUSTIN GRUNTS)

(AIR ESCAPING)

Outrage in Egypt tonight as it was discovered

that the Great Pyramid of Giza had been stolen

and replaced by a giant inflatable replica.

There is panic throughout the globe as countries and citizens

try to protect their beloved landmarks.

Law enforcement still has no leads,

leaving everyone to wonder, which of the world's villains

is responsible for this heinous crime?

And where will he strike next?

Gru: Freeze ray! Freeze ray! Freeze ray! [laughs evilly] Fred: Morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard, and I don't appreciate it. Fred: Sorry. You know dogs. They go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although, it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: Okay. Yeah. Steamrolling whatever Gru: [groans] You've got to be pulling on my leg! Margo: Hello! Cookies for sale. Gru: Go away. I'm not home. Margo: Uh, yes, you are. I heard you. Gru: [gasps] No, you didn't. This... [monotone] is a recording. Margo: [scoffs] No, it isn't. Gru: Yes, it is. [o.s.] Watch this. Leave a message, beep. [Edith kicks the door] Gru: Ow! Agnes: Goodbye, recorded message. Margo: [o.s.] Agnes, come on. Gru: Huh? [screams] Kyle! Bad dog! No! No, no. Sit. My muffin. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I, too, have encountered great disappointment, but, in my eyes, you will always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid. They're saying he makes all other villains look... lame. pause Gru: Assemble the minions! [throws Kyle off of his arm] Minions, assemble! Minion: Okay. Okay. Hey! Gru: Looking good, Kevin! How is the family? Good? All right. That's my Billy boy! What up, Larry? Hello, everybody! Yeah, all right! Simmer down. Simmer down! Thank you, okay. Now, I realize that you guys probably heard about this other villain who stole the pyramids. Apparently, it's a big deal. People are calling it the crime of the century and stuff like that. But am I upset? No, I am not! A little, but we have had a pretty good year ourselves, and you guys are all right in my book. Minion: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Gru: No, no raises! You're not going to get any raises. What did we do? Well, we stole the Times Square JumboTron! Nice! That's how I roll. Yeah, you all like watching football on that, huh? But that's not all. We stole the Statue of Liberty, the small one from Las Vegas. And I won't even mention the Eiffel Tower! Also Vegas. Okay, I wasn't going to tell you about this yet, but I have been working on something very big! Something that will blow this pyramid thing out of the water! And thanks to the efforts of my good friend Dr. Nefario... Dr. Nefario: Thank you! Gru: There he is. He's stylin'. Now, we have located a shrink ray in a secret lab, and once we take this shrink ray, we will have the capability to pull off the 'true crime of the century. We are going to steal... The Minions all pull out their weapons in response. Gru: Wait, wait! I haven't told you what it is yet. One of the Minions, Dave, shoots his rocket launcher at a crowd of Minions. Gru: Hey. Dave, listen up, please! Dave: Ditto. One of the Minions Dave shot walks over to him and punches him on the shoulder. Gru: Next, we are going to steal, pause for effect, the moon! The Minions cheer in response. Gru: And once the moon is mine, the world will give me whatever I want to get it back! And I will be the greatest villain of all time! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. [picks up his phone] Yes? Dr. Nefario: Hello, Gru? I've been crunching some numbers, and I really don't see how we can afford this. It can't be done. I'm not a miracle worker. Gru:Hey, chillax. I'll just get another loan from the bank. They love me! Margo: Edith, stop it! Edith: What? I'm just walking. Girls: Hi, Miss Hattie. We're back. Miss Hattie: Hello, girls! Agnes: Anybody come to adopt us while we were out? Miss Hattie: Hmm... Let me think. No! Edith immediately puts a mud pie on Miss Hattie's desk, much to her displeasure. Miss Hattie: Edith! What did you put on my desk? Edith: A mud pie. Miss Hattie: [sighs] You're never gonna get adopted, Edith. You know that, don't you? Edith: Yeah, I know. Miss Hattie: Good. So, how did it go, girls? Did we meet our quotas? Margo: Hmm... Sorta. We sold 43 mini-mints, 30 choco-swirlies and 18 coco-nutties. Miss Hattie: [gets up] Okay.

Well, you say that like it's a great sale day. [furious] Look at my face! Do you still think it's a great sale day? Edith rolls her eyes in response. Miss Hattie: [hangs up a portrait] Eighteen coco-nutties. I think we can do a little better than that, don't you? Yeah. We wouldn't want to spend the weekend in the Box of Shame, would we? No. Girls: No, Miss Hattie. Miss Hattie: Okay, good. Off you go. Go clean something of mine. Girls: Hi, Penny. Penny: Hi, guys. Gru: Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs in disgust] That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, Mom, I am about to do something that's very, very big, very important. When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud. Gru's Mom: Ha! [sarcastically] Good luck with that. Okay, I'm outta here. [hangs up the phone before sending her karate instructor flying] Gru: Gru to see Mr Perkins Receptionist: Yes, please have a seat. Neil Armstrong: That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind. Young Gru: Ma, someday I'm going to go to the moon. Gru's Mom: I'm afraid you're too late, Son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys any more. Vector: Hey. I'm applying for a new villain loan. Go by the name of Vector. It's a mathematical term, a quantity represented by an arrow, with both direction and magnitude. Vector! That's me, 'cause I'm committing crimes with both direction and magnitude. Oh, yeah! Check out my new weapon. Piranha gun! Oh, yes! Fires live piranhas. Ever seen one before? No, you haven't. I invented it. Do you want a demonstration? Shoot! So difficult, sometimes, to get the piranha back inside of my... Receptionist: Mr Gru, Mr Perkins will see you now. Gru: So, all I need is money from the bank to build a rocket. And then, the moon is ours. Perkins: Wow! Well, very nice presentation. I'd like to see this shrink ray. Gru: Absolutely! Will do. Soon as I have it. Perkins: You don't have it? And yet you have the audacity to ask the bank for money? Gru: Apparently. Perkins: Do you have any idea of the capital that this bank has invested in you, Gru? With far too few of your sinister plots actually turning a profit. How can I put it? Let's say this apple is you. If we don't start getting our money back... Get the picture? Look, Gru, the point is, there are a lot of new villains out there, younger than you, hungrier than you, younger than you. Like that young fellow out there named Vector. He just stole a pyramid! Gru: I've got it. I've got it. So, as far as getting money for the rocket... Perkins: Get the shrink ray, then we'll talk. Minion: Suckers! Suckers! Gru: We got it! What? Hey! Hey! What! Hey! No, no, no! You! Vectors: Now, maybe you'll think twice before you freeze someone's head! So long, Gru! Gru: Quick! We can't let him get away! Up ahead! Up ahead! Fire! Fire, now! Vector: You missed me! Gru: Come to papa! Take that. Vector: How adorable. Gru: Got you in our sights! Like taking candy from a... What? Vector: Hey, Gru! Try this on for size! Gru: That's weird. What is going... This is claustrophobic! No, no, no! Too small! This is too small for me! [groans] I hate that guy. Margo: ...and please watch over us, and bless that we'll have a good night's sleep. Edith: And bless that while we're sleeping, no bugs will crawl into our ears and lay eggs in our brains. Margo: Great. Thanks for that image, Edith. Agnes: And please bless that someone will adopt us soon, and that the mommy and daddy will be nice and have a pet unicorn. Amen. Margo/Edith: Amen. Agnes: Unicorns, I love them Unicorns, I love them Uni, uni, unicorns I love them Uni, unicorns, I could pet one If they were really real And they are So, I bought one so I could pet it Now it loves me Now I love it Gru: Don't you... What the... Good luck, little girls! Edith: Whoa! Cool. Margo: Hi! We're orphans from Miss Hattie's Home for Girls. Vector: I don't care. Beat it! Margo: Come on! We're selling

cookies so, you know, we can have a better future. Vector: Wait, wait! Do you have coco-nutties? Margo: Yeah. Gru: Light bulb. Dr Nefario! I'm going to need a dozen tiny robots disguised as cookies! Dr. Nefario: What? Gru: Cookie robots! Dr. Nefario: Who is this? - Gru: Oh, forget it. Mrs. Hattie: Well, it appears you have cleared our background check, Dr Gru. And I see you have made a list of some of your personal achievements. Thank you for that. I love reading. And I see you have been given the Medal of Honor and a knighthood. - Minions: Me, me, me. Me, me, me. Minion: Kevin? Mrs. Hattie: You had your own cooking show and you can hold your breath for 30 seconds? It's not that impressive. Minion: Idiot! - Minions: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Mrs Hattie: What in the name of... What? Gru: Well, here's the dealio. Things have been so lonely since my wife, Debbie, passed on. It's like my heart is a tooth, and it's got a cavity that can only be filled with children. I'm sorry. You are a beautiful woman. Do you speak Spanish? Mrs. Hattie: Do I look like I speak Spanish? Gru: You have a face como un burro. Mrs. Hattie: Well, thank you! Gru: Anyway, can we proceed with this adoption? So, so excited! Mrs. Hattie: Please tell Margo, Edith and Agnes to come to the lobby. Margo: I bet the mom is beautiful! Edith: I bet the daddy's eyes sparkle. Agnes: I bet their house is made of Gummi Bears. [Edith and Margo look at her curiously] I'm just saying it'd be nice. [picks up a Cheeto] Aww. My caterpillar never turned into a butterfly. Edith: That's a Cheeto. Agnes: Oh... [eats said Cheeto, making Edith and Margo recoil in disgust] Miss Hattie: Well, Debbie was a very lucky woman. [pause] Gru: Who's Debbie? Mrs Hattie: Your wife. Hi, girls! Girls, I want you to meet Mr Gru. He's going to adopt you. And he's a dentist! Agnes: Yeah! Margo: Hi. I'm Margo. This is Edith. And that's Agnes. Agnes: [sing-song] I got your leg, I got your leg! Gru: Okay, that is enough, little girl. Let go of my leg. Come on. You can do it. Agnes: Higher! Higher! Gru: Just release your grip. Wow! How do you remove them? Is there a command? Some nonstick spray? Crowbar? [sighs] Okay, girls, let's go. [They drove off in the distance.]Vector: Uh-huh! Oh, yeah! Pretty impressive! What are you looking at? Boo-ya! You got shrunk, tiny mouthwash! Take that! You done been shrunk! (His phone rings) Yello? I got the shrink ray, all right. No, I'm not playing with it. Gru? Don't make me laugh! No. P.S., he is not getting the moon, and P.P.S., by the time I'm done with him, he's gonna be begging for mercy. (Shrinks a toilet) Okay, bye. (Hangs up) Look at you, a little tiny toilet for a little tiny baby to... [The toilet pops out and water sprays him.]Vector: Curse you, tiny toilet! [Gru and the Girls arrive at Gru's Home.] Gru: "Okay, here we are. Home sweet home. Margo: So... This is, like, your house? [realizing] Wait a sec... You're the guy who pretended he was a recorded message! Gru: No, that was someone else. [Margo gives a skeptical look before she, Edith and Agnes enter Gru's house, with Gru following suite.] Agnes: [scared] Can I hold your hand? Gru: Uh... No. Edith: [looks around] When we got adopted by a bald guy, I thought this'd be more like "Annie". Gru: No, hey! [screams] Kyle, these are not treats. These are guests. Girls, this is Kyle, my... Dog. Kyle snarls in anger. Agnes: Ooh! Fluffy doggy! [approaches Kyle before he runs away, much to her disappointment] Margo: What kind of dog is that? Gru: He is a... I don't know. Margo: Do you really think that this is an appropriate place for little kids? 'Cause, uh... It's not. [Edith sees a closet that is sharp and goes in it.] Gru: No! No! Stay away from there! It's frag... [He sees juice spilling on the floor.]Both: (Gasps) Gru: Well, I suppose the plan will work with two. Edith: [muffled] Hey! It's dark in here. [Gru opens the iron maiden, revealing Edith, who spits out a straw]Edith: It poked a hole in my juice box. [They went to the

kitchen.] Gru: As you can see, I have provided everything a child might need. All right. Okay. As I was saying... (Edith knocked a bottle down) Gru: (Cont'd) Hey! Oh. Edith: Somebody broke that. Gru: "Okay, okay. Clearly, we need to set some rules. Rule number one. You will not touch anything. Margo: Uh-huh. What about the floor? Gru: Yes, you may touch the floor. Margo: What about the air? Gru: Yes, you may touch the air! Edith: (Gets out a laser gun) What about this? Gru: (Screams) Where did you get that? Edith: [shrugs] Found it. Gru: Okay. Rule number two. You will not bother me while I'm working. Rule number three. You will not cry or whine or laugh or giggle or sneeze or burp or fart! So, no, no, no annoying sounds. All right? Agnes: Does this count as annoying? [popping] Gru: Very! [sighs] I will see you in six hours. Margo: Okay, don't worry. Everything's going to be fine. We're gonna be really happy here. Right? Agnes? Gru: Question. What are these? Dr. Nefario: A dozen boogie robots! Boogie! Look at this. Watch me! Gru: Cookie robots. I said cookie robots. Why are you so old? Dr. Nefario: Okay. I'm on it. Margo: Hello? Agnes: TV! Margo: What is that? Edith: Whoa! That is cool! Come on! Agnes: I don't think he's a dentist.Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this for a while. It's a anti-gravity serum. I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: So far, no. No, they don't. And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. Gru: No, no. I said "dart gun," not... Okay. Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this? But, anyway. What I really wanted to show you was this. Gru: Now those are cookie robots! Agnes: La, la, la, la I love unicorns Gru: What are you doing here? I told you to stay in the kitchen! Margo: We got bored. What is this place? Edith: Can I drink this? Dr. Nefario: Do you want to explode? [Edith kicks him in the shin] Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru: Get back in the kitchen! Agnes: Will you play with us? Gru: No. Agnes: Why? Gru: Because I'm busy. Margo: [scoffs] Doing what? Gru: Umm... Okay, okay, you got me. The dentist thing is more of a hobby. In real life, I am a spy. And it is top secret, and you may not tell anybody, because if you do... Edith: What does this do? [She fires a laser and it hits Agnes's unicorn and it burns to ashes]Gru: Hey! Edith: Whoops. Agnes: My unicorn! You have to fix it. Gru: Fix it? Look, it has been disintegrated. By definition, it cannot be fixed. [Agnes gasps in shock, then starts holding her breath] Gru: That's freaking me out. What is she doing? Margo: She's gonna hold her breath until she gets a new one. Gru: [sighs] It is just a toy. Now stop it! (Agnes faints) Gru: Okay, okay! I'll fix it! Tim! Mark! Phil! This is very important. You have to get the little girl a new unicorn toy. Gru: Hey, hey, hey! A toy! Go, and hurry! What are those? Gru: They are my... Cousins. Jerry! Stuart! Watch them and keep them away from me please. [The three minions put on a disguise and head to the store.]Minions: Wow!- Wow! [Meanwhile the two minions and the girls are tossing toilet paper at each other. Gru comes up and he sees the Girls and the two minions having fun.]Edith: It was your cousin's idea. Jerry: What? Gru: Okay, bedtime. Girls: Aww... Minions: Aww... Gru: Not you two! Minions: Yay. Gru: Okey-dokey. Beddie-bye. All tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: I think I can live with that. Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up. But try not to toss and turn. Edith: "Cool." Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story?" Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. And there's probably something in your closet. Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes. Agnes: It's beautiful. Gru: Girls, let's go.

Time to deliver the cookies! Margo: Okay. But first, we're going to dance class. Gru: Actually, we're going to have to skip the dance class today. Margo: Actually, we can't skip the dance class today. We have a big recital coming up. We're doing an excerpt from Swan Lake. Agnes: Yeah, Swan Lake! Gru: That's fantastic. Wonderful. But we're going to deliver cookies! Come on! Margo: No. Gru: No? Margo: We're not going to deliver cookies until we do dance class. Really? Gru: Well, I am not driving you to dance class. So if you want to go, you are going to have to walk yourselves. What are you doing? Margo: Walking to dance class. Gru: Ya? Okay, fine. You just keep walking, because I'm really not driving you! Margo: Okay. Gru: You're going to suffer the wrath of Gru! Seriously, I'm going to count to three! And you had better be in this car! Here we go! One! Two! Teacher: ...three, four and five. And lift, and stretch. And one, and two... Agnes: Here you go. Gru: What is it? Agnes: Your ticket to the dance recital. You are coming, right? Gru: Of course, of course. I have pins and needles that I'm sitting on. Agnes: Pinkie promise? Gru: Oh, yes. My pinkie promises. All right. Our first customer is a man named Vector. Margo: But he's a V. You know, we're supposed to start with the A's. Then we go to the B's. Then we... Gru: Yes, yes! I went to kindergarten. I know how the alphabet works! I was just thinking that it might be nice to deliver Mr Vector's first. That is all. Almost over. It's almost over. Vector: Girls, welcome back to the fortress of Vector-tude! Do you have my cookies for me? Margo: Four boxes of mini-mints, two toffee totes, two caramel clumpies and fifteen boxes of coco-nutties. Vector: Exactly. I'd like to see somebody else order that many cookies. Not likely. Name one person who ordered more cookies than me. Margo: That'll be $52. Vector: Right. Seven, eight, nine... Tic Tacs! Where was I? Seven, eight, nine... Agnes: Why are you wearing pyjamas? Vector: These aren't pyjamas! This is a warm-up suit. Edith: What are you warming up for? Vector: Stuff. Agnes: What sort of stuff? Vector: Super-cool stuff you wouldn't understand. Agnes: Like sleeping? Vector: They are not pyjamas! Here you go, 52 big ones. Bye! Gru: Come on! Vector: What the...? Quiet down, fish. Down, boy!Gru: [laughs] We did it! Come on, girls, let's go! Margo: But what about the other people who ordered cookies? Gru: Life is full of disappointments... For some people. [chuckles ominously] Agnes: (Screams) Gru: Don't do that! Agnes: Super Silly Fun Land! Can we go? Please? Gru: No. Edith: But we've never been. And it's the funnest place on earth! Gru: "Don't care." Girls: Please? Please? We'll never ask for anything else, ever again! Pretty please? Please? Come on! Come on! Gru: "Light bulb." Edith: Come on! Gru: "Goodbye, have fun. [He began to leave. But a attendant of the roller coaster stopped him.]Carnival Ride Worker: Sorry, dude. They can't ride without an adult. Gru: What? [groans] [Soon Gru gets sick from the roller coaster ride.]Agnes: Oh, my gosh! Look at that fluffy unicorn! He's so fluffy, I'm gonna die! Margo: You've gotta let us play for it! Gru: No, no, no. Agnes: Come on! Gru: How much for the fluffy unicorn?Carnival Barker: Well, it is not for sale. But all you gotta do to win it is knock down that little spaceship there. It's easy! Agnes: Yay! Again! Margo: Wait! Edith: Come on. One more time! Agnes: Just one more. I accidentally closed my eyes. I hit it! I hit it! Edith: That was cool. Awww. Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What was that? She hit that. I saw that with my own eyes.Carnival Barker: Hey, buddy, let me explain something to you. You see that little tin spaceship? You see how it's not knocked over? Do you know what that means, professor? It means you don't get the unicorn! Somebody's got a frowny face. Boo! Better luck next time! Gru: Okay, my turn. [Gru uses a fire gun and it blows up the whole booth.]Gru: "Knocked over!" Agnes: It's so fluffy! Yeah! Margo: That was

awesome! Edith: You blew up the whole thing! Agnes: Let's go. Let's try another game!Dr. Nefario: Gru, do you mind if I have a quick word? Gru: Okay, girls, go play. I got the shrink ray! Cotton candy! Dr. Nefario: We have 12 days until the moon is in optimum position. We can't afford any distractions! Gru: Get me Perkins. Sorry to bother you, Mr Perkins, but I figured that you would want to see this! Mr. Perkins: What? Well done, Gru. Rather impressive.Gru: Now, the rest of the plan is simple. I fly to the moon. I shrink the moon. I grab the moon. I sit on the toi-let. What? (girls start laughing) Sorry. Sorry! Could you excuse me for just one second? I told you not to touch my things. I told you, I told you. I've told you a thousand times. Margo: Hey, can we order pizza? Gru: Pizza? You just had lunch. Edith: Not now, for dinner. Gru: Dinner? Just... Fine, fine, fine, whatever. Just get back in there! Margo: Can we get stuffed crust? Agnes and Jerry: Stuffed crust!Gru: I'll stuff you all in the crust! Agnes: [giggles] You're funny! Gru: Just don't come out of that room again! All right. Sorry about that. Where were we? Mr. Perkins: You were sitting on the toilet. Gru: No, no, no! No, I'm sorry. It was a little attempt at humor. I know how much you like to laugh... [Mr. Perkins glares at him] Inside. Eh, now, I was saying... [the door suddenly opens] You don't seem terribly focused, Gru. Believe me, I am completely focused. Right? Edith: Hello! Mr. Perkins: What? Edith: That guy is huge! Agnes: Are we on TV? Mr. Perkins: What are those? Children?Gru: What are you doing? I told you to stay out of here! No, no, no! *Agnes: Freeze ray!Mr. Perkins: Mr Gru? Gru: Okay. As I was saying... Mr. Perkins: No need to continue. I've seen quite enough. Gru: But my plan... Mr. Perkins: Is a great plan. I love everything about your plan, except for one thing. You. Young Gru: Look, Mom, I drew a picture of me landing on the moon! Look, Mom, I made a prototype of the rocket out of macaroni! Look, Mom, I made a real rocket based on the macaroni prototype! Gru: I don't understand. Mr. Perkins: Let's face reality, Gru. You've been at this for far too long with far too little success. We're gonna put our faith, our money, into a... Well, a younger villain. Gru: But I... Mr. Perkins: It's over. Goodbye, Gru. Gru: Now, I know there have been some rumours going around that the bank is no longer funding us. Well, I am here to put those rumours to rest. They are true. In terms of money, we have no money. So how will we get to the moon? The answer is clear. We won't. We are doomed. Now would probably be a good time to look for other employment options. I know. I have fired up my resume as I suggest that all of you do, as well. What is it? Can't you see that I am in the middle of a pep talk? Yes! Yes, we will build our own rocket using this and whatever else we can find! Grab everything! Hit the junkyards! Take apart the cars! Who needs the bank? Let's go. Let's go! Mom! What are you doing here? Gru's Mom: And here he is in the bathtub. Look at his little buns. Gru: Mom. Not cool. Gru's Mom: And here, he's all dressed up in his Sunday best. Margo: He looks like a girl! Gru's Mom: Yes, he does. An ugly girl! Agnes: You're funny! Edith: Yes! Mine's shaped like a dead guy! Receptionist: Mr. Perkins, your son is here. Mr. Perkins: Send him in. Vector: Hey, Dad. You wanted to see me? Mr. Perkins: Yes, I did, Victor. - Vector: I am not Victor anymore. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector! Mr. Perkins: Sit down. Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh! Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? That's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that looks exactly like it! Vector: What the...?! Those girls sold me cookies! Mr. Perkins: Do you have any idea how lucrative this moon heist could be? I give you the opportunity of a lifetime, and you just blow it! Vector: No, I didn't. Mr. Perkins: Oh, really?Vector: You just wait until Gru sees my latest weapon. Squid-launcher! Oh, yeah! Man:

There's a squid on my face!Vector: Don't worry. The moon is as good as ours. Gru: Come on now, it's bedtime. Did you brush your teeth? Let me smell. Let me smell. You did not! Put on your PGs. Hold still. Okay, seriously! Seriously! This is beddie-bye time, right now. I'm not kidding around. I mean it! Edith: But we're not tired! Gru: Well, I am tired. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? [pause] Gru: No. Agnes: Pretty please? Gru: The physical appearance of the "please" makes no difference. It is still no, so go to sleep. Edith: But we can't. We're all hyper! Margo: And without a bedtime story, we'll just keep getting up and bugging you. All night long. Gru: [sighs] Fine. All right, all right. Sleepy Kittens. Sleepy Kittens? What are these? Agnes: Puppets. You use them when you tell the story. Gru: Okay, let's get this over with. "Three little kittens loved to play, they had fun in the sun all day. "Then their mother came out and said, 'Time for kittens to go to bed."' Wow! This is garbage. You actually like this? Agnes: Keep reading! Edith: Come on! Gru: All right, all right, all right. "Three little kittens started to bawl, "'Mommy, we're not tired at all.' "Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "'Fine, but at least you should brush your fur."' Edith: Now you brush the fur. Gru: This is literature? A 2-year-old could have written this. All right. "Three little kittens with fur all brushed "said, 'We can't sleep, we feel too rushed! ' "Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "'Fine, but at least you should drink your milk."' Agnes: Now make them drink the milk. Gru: I don't like this book. This is going on forever. "Three little kittens, with milk all gone, rubbed their eyes and started to yawn. "'We can't sleep, we can't even try.' Then their mother sang a lullaby. "'Good night kittens, close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. "'Though while you sleep, we are apart, "'your mommy loves you with all her heart."' The end. Okay, good night. Agnes: Wait! Gru: What? Agnes: What about good night kisses? Gru: No, no. There will be no kissing or hugging or kissing. Margo: He is not gonna kiss us good night, Agnes. Agnes: I like him. He's nice.Edith: [turns off her light] But scary. Like Santa! Dr. Nefario: Only 48 hours till the launch, and all systems are go. Gru: About that, I was thinking that maybe we could move the date of the heist. Dr. Nefario: Please tell me this is not as a result of the girls' dance recital, is it? Gru: No, no, no! The recital? Don't... That's stupid! I just think it's kind of weird to do it on a Saturday. I was thinking, maybe a heist is a Tuesday thing, right? Dr. Nefario: Gru, you and I have been working on this for years. It's everything we've dreamed of. Your chance to make history, become the man who stole the moon! But these girls are becoming a major distraction! They need to go. If you don't do something about it, then I will. Gru: I understand. Dr. Nefario: Good. Minion: Butt. Butt. Butt. Gru: All right. Now, when we put our cups together, we will make the "clink" sound with our mouths. Ready? Edith? Gru: and Edith: Clink. Gru: There we go. And now we drink. And Agnes? Gru and Agnes: Clink. Gru: Very good! Excuse me, girls. Girls: Come on! Gru: Don't worry, I'll be back. Keep clinking. - Clink, clink. - Clink, clink.Gru: Miss Hattie, what are you doing here? Miss Hattie: I'm here for the girls. I received a call that you wanted to return them. [Gru gives her a quizzical look] And also, I did purchase a Spanish dictionary. [swats Gru's head with the dictionary] I didn't like what you said. Gru: But... I will get the girls ready. Agnes: Don't let her take us, Mr. Gru! Tell her you wanna keep us. Mrs. Hattie: All right, girls. Come on, let's go. Margo: Goodbye, Mr. Gru. Thanks for everything. Dr. Nefario: I did it for your own good. Come on, let's go get that moon. Gru: Right. What is this for? The recital? I am the greatest criminal mind of the century. I don't go to little girls' dance recitals! Dr. Nefario: Opening launch bay

doors. Commencing launch sequence. And we are good to go in T minus 10 seconds. Ten, nine, eight, seven, six... Vector: Oh, yeah! Gru: Nice work, Doctor. All systems go. Vector: Boo-ya! My flight suit. Oh, yeah! Once again, the mighty... Gru: I've got it! I've got the moon! I've got the moon. I can make it. Dr. Nefario: Wait a minute! Jerry: Kevin! Gru: Come on! Come on! Agnes: He's still not here. Margo: Why would he come? He gave us up. Agnes: But he pinkie promised! Teacher: Girls, girls, places. Edith: No, we can't start yet! We're still expecting someone. Agnes: Can we just wait a few more minutes? Teacher: All right. But just a few more minutes. Margo: He's not coming, guys. Dr. Nefario: Gru! Gru, can you hear me? Quick, we have to warn him, and fast!Gru: Okay, okay. There's the library. That's Third Street. The dance studio... There! There! There it is! Janitor: Sorry, buddy. Show's over.Gru: Over? Gru: Vector, open up! Vector: First give me the moon. Then we'll talk. Agnes: Mr. Gru! Vector: Zip it, Happy Meal. Gru: Now, the girls. Vector: Actually, I think I'll hold on to them a little while longer. Gru: No! Vector: Oh, yeah! Unpredictable! Gru: Listen close, you little punk. When I get in there, you are in for a world of pain! Vector: [laughs sarcastically] I'm really scared. Agnes: He is gonna kick your butt. Vector: What? He punched my shark! Dr. Nefario: There he is! Hang on, Gru. Oh, no! Gru: Vector has the girls. Go! Dr. Nefario: What happened to the ship? It's big again! Not as big as the moon is going to be! Gru: What? Dr. Nefario: The larger the mass of an object, the quicker the effects of the shrink ray wear off! I call it the Nefario Principle. I just came up with it now, actually. Gru: Oh, no! Margo: Did you see that? Girls: Vector! Help! Vector! Over here! Vector: Hey! What are you girls doing back there? Girls: The moon! Watch out! Vector: Ouch! Gru: Get as close in as you can. You got it. Margo: Mr Gru, up here! Agnes and Edith: Mr Gru! Gru: Okay, girls! Girls! You're going to have to jump. Edith: Jump? Are you insane? Gru: Don't worry, I will catch you. Margo: You gave us back! Gru: I know, I know. And it is the worst mistake I ever made. But you have to jump now. Margo: It'll be okay. Gru: Okay, girls. Margo: Jump now! Gru: Margo, I will catch you. And I will never let you go again. Vector: Not so fast! Gru: No! Margo: Let me go! Gru: Margo! I'm coming, Margo. Hang on! I got you.Vector: No! Oh, poop. News Reporter: This time, good triumphs, and the moon has been returned to its rightful place in the sky. But once again, law enforcement is baffled, leaving everyone to wonder, who is this mysterious hero? And what will he do next? Gru: Okay, girls. Time for bed. Edith: Come on! We want a story. Agnes: Three sleepy kittens! Gru: Oh, no! Sorry. That book was accidentally destroyed maliciously. Tonight we are going to read a new book. This one is called One Big Unicorn by... Who wrote this? Me! I wrote it. Look, it's a puppet book! Here, watch this. That's the horn! Agnes: This is gonna be the best book ever! Gru: Not to pat myself on the back, but, yes, it probably will be. Here we go. "One big unicorn, strong and free "thought he was happy as he could be. "Then three little kittens came around "and turned his whole life upside down." Edith: Hey, that one looks like me! Gru: No, what are you talking about? These are kittens! Any relation to persons living or dead is completely coincidental. "They made him laugh. "They made him cry. "He never should have said goodbye. "And now he knows he could never part "from those three little kittens "that changed his heart. "The end." Okay, all right. Good night. Margo: I love you. Gru: I love you, too. No, no! All right. Didn't I get you already? They're very good! Gru's Mom: I'm so proud of you, Son. You've turned out to be a great parent! Just like me. Maybe even better. Gru: No, I'm fine. Go ahead. No, no, no! THE END Hey, Carl! Hey. No, no, no. Me, me, me. John? No, no. Me, me, me. Oh,

poop. Oh, no! Stop! Stop! Hello, I am Gru. Back to work, back to work! Back to…

IS THIS THE ENTIRE FUCKING SCRIPT?

[uwua3]

if it's ok 😳👉👈 i really love your writing and i've had this idea in my head for awhile but i can't get myself to write it on my own 🤔 i wanted to see how your spin would be on it- so can i request a prompt where reader gets jealous of tenma's co-actress in a romance and tries to mimic what she does to him in a show they're in?? ty!!! 💕💕💕 i look forward to your interpretation

thank you so much for requesting~ ♡ i love you sososo much; i hope this lives up to everything you’ve dreamed of! ♡ ～('▽^人) i LOVE YOU!!! <333

summary: when tenma lands a role in your favorite drama, he had one goal: to become your favorite actor

warnings: envy/jealousy, food mentions, rivalry (all covered briefly!)

author’s note: after learning everything there is to know about the k-drama, true beauty, on tik tok, i’ve decided to write this! for context, the only thing i recommend watching before reading this is watching the “roar” scene!

this is also the first time i’ve introduced made-up characters with names! please enjoy jun, the first character who isn’t canon to the a3!verse :D

word count: 3,768

music: like a movie – b1a4

pretty u!

🌻☀️ sumeragi tenma

what the heck was love, and why did he have to be in it?

sumeragi tenma, future “world’s best actor”, was suddenly... seeing why he hadn’t won that award yet. with a script in his hand and confusion in another, tenma read the title of the next drama he landed the role for

“PRETTY U...” it was japan’s next major love story, advertised on every social media platform possible with the all-star cast in the spotlight already. although it had already been out for a season, tenma was entering as the up-and-coming newest character of the series

tenma was boyish, young, and much too confident for his age—perfect for the role of a second-lead bad boy who was going to steal the heart and test the protagonist’s commitment

except... he didn’t actually want to take up a new project so soon. he only did because—

“what?! you’re going to be chan on PRETTY U?!” he proudly nodded and watched as you began ranting about how much you loved this show. there was only one reason he came to the audition: tenma wanted to star in your favorite television series

you always went on and on about how great everything about PRETTY U was. after hearing so much and pretending not to listen (even if he could practically explain the entire plotline now without watching it), tenma let himself become a fan, too

after all, how could he not be a fan when you loved PRETTY U so much?

tenma didn’t respond to his manager’s pleas until one day, you revealed another reason why PRETTY U was your favorite production: the main lead

“he’s so handsome~ i love him so much!” “do you know him? could you get me his number?” “look at him... he’s the most perfect actor in the business right now—ah, sorry ten!”

tenma scoffed every time, claiming he could most certainly do better than that hotshot. although the boys typically didn’t do the same type of television, he had become tenma’s #1 rival without even knowing it

besides... what did that guy have that tenma didn’t? he was just nice! sure, he held open the door for the lead, bent down to tie her shoes, bended over backwards just to be the perfect boy-next-door. yeah... even he couldn’t pretend anymore

tenma pouted at the thought, skimming over his next pilot episode for rehearsal tomorrow. he was too good to be real, after all, he was meant to end up with the lead girl anyways (spoiler alert!)

but, it didn’t matter how perfect that actor was! because tenma had gotten the role of “chan”, the leather-jacket wearing mystery with an actual heart of gold, and he was going to make the entire audience swoon

(though, tenma just wanted to make your heart skip a beat when he ended up on the big screen)

tenma would never admit how fast he checked his phone when he felt it buzz in his pocket. sure, it was unprofessional during rehearsal but he knew it was you. however, his smile dropped the moment he read what you sent

you: remember to tell him how much i love him!

tenma: hah... no good luck for your new bad boy?

you: you know i’ll always root for you, ten!

tenma: but, i’m better than that actor, right?

tenma watched his message get delivered and was about to keep bothering you until someone called his name like they were friends. speak of the devil...

that actor’s straight, white toothy smile made tenma stand a little straighter (damn it, tenma was shorter), eyes wide as the actor gracefully introduced himself as his co-star for the next month or so (how did his voice sound even better in person?!)

“good morning, tenma! my name is jun, i’m so honored to meet a fellow actor on set! let’s work together well!” were they... really the same age? tenma barely registered the fact he was suddenly shaking jun’s (right, that’s his name) hand. why did he have such a manly grip?

tenma quickly (to his dismay) found out that him & jun had entered the industry around the same time but often had different projects, so they were never featured in the same production before. apparently, that was creating quite a buzz in the media that two childhood stars were competing against one another

a competition that tenma couldn’t lose. he was going to be your favorite actor, not his rival!

jun, like the perfect gentleman everyone described him to be, showed tenma around the PRETTY U set. jun had nothing but good things to say about the crew and vise versa. that only reinforced how tenma was oddly much more quiet than he usually was. luckily, one of the talents of being an actor was improvising, so jun was doing just fine

when they had reached the dressing rooms, jun shot a bright smile at tenma and gestured to the rather large room

“we’ll be sharing a dressing room together, tenma! we’ll be spending a lot of time together!”

tenma suddenly regretted his decision to become chan of PRETTY U. you couldn’t have had a different favorite show?! anything but... this

there were now three main characters for PRETTY U: hoshi, yuri, and chan, creating a love triangle for millions of viewers to watch every week

nakamura jun, leading role, played “hoshi”, the boy-next-door. this is the popular boy at school with the best grades and an even greater reputation amongst everyone. next, uedo ren, one of japan’s rising female actresses of this generation. she is adored as “yuri”, the perfect girl. she is the typical nerd who suddenly transformed into the prettiest girl at school from learning make-up

last (but definitely not least!) is sumeragi tenma, playing “chan”, the bad boy. it was nothing like tenma’s done before, since the character was much less expressive than he was used to. chan is a traditional rebel who is revealed to have a soft side for yuri. but, chan (ironically enough) has a secret history with hoshi, causing tension in this already confusing love triangle

(embarrassingly enough, jun had to explain to tenma the complications and ties between each character. tenma, unfortunately, found it to be extremely helpful)

even with this newfound knowledge of the characters in season 2, tenma couldn’t help but absolutely ruin the first day of rehearsals. even with a decade or so of acting as his experience, one thing kept him from being chan: his lack of chemistry with “yuri”

“cut!” the director called out again for the nth time, sighing as their eyes landed on tenma, who was not enjoying being the center of attention this time, surprisingly

“take 5, kid. once you come back, i expect you to actually go through this scene without messing up your lines.” tenma nodded and exited quickly, feeling flustered from the looks of sympathy directed his way. usually, it was one-and-done. it didn’t take a hundred tries just to do another romantic and cliché scene

tenma exhaled loudly once he felt the fresh air upon his face. without the fear of cameras in his face anymore, tenma ran his hand through his hair with a frustrated kick at the concrete. come on! he was renown child actor sumeragi tenma, why was he so in his head now?

tenma was about to yell into the sky before he heard someone close the door, standing beside him with their usual silence. tenma didn’t even have to look to know it was jun (probably with the most pitiful look ever)

“tenma? are you okay?” jun waited as tenma tried to not say anything he’d regret, shifting his weight on his foot back and forth before relenting, shrugging as if it couldn’t be helped

“i don’t know... i just, i can’t see yuri that way. how am i supposed to flirt with someone i don’t even like?”

jun pondered the thought for a moment, before tilting his head, a boyish smile overtaking his features. tenma unwillingly relaxed; jun finally looked his age

“who do you like then?”

tenma froze, a blush even foundation couldn’t hide blossoming on his cheeks. jun let out a teasing “oooh!” as he nudged tenma with his shoulder, who pushed back with an eye-roll

“i-it’s not like that! don’t be so—ugh!” tenma cut himself off, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding jun’s knowing eyes. damn it, they barely knew each other. why was he getting so comfortable with his enemy?!

“well, whoever you thought of, imagine yuri as them.”

“is that what you do?”

jun shrugged, not giving a clear answer for once. before tenma could ask for more information, their break was over

when tenma returned to the scene, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes. when he opened them again, he watched as yuri transformed into the one person he’s been trying to impress this entire time: you

when “you” smiled, tenma couldn’t help but follow along. his first-take after break made the cut for the final product

“you must really like them, tenma~” — “stop!!!”

filiming afterwards became easy, especially when he imagined all his romantic words were directed towards you. he could feel the clamminess of his hands, the rapid beat of his heart, the intense blush across his face, all at the thought of you

(the only time he had to start over was when he accidentally said your name instead of yuri’s)

tenma was sure he’d become your favorite actor now! after all, you were his favorite person

“will you watch the first episode of PRETTY U’s season 2 with me?”

you had never said yes so fast in your entire life. when tenma learned there’d be a cast-viewing of episode 1 after finishing the season, he knew his +1 invite could only go to the biggest fan of the show

throughout filming, you were always the person who got him in trouble when the text tone wasn’t put on silent. you liked spamming tenma with a bunch of supportive and encouraging messages when you were available, meaning tenma always had something to look forward to after each scene

in return, tenma would send a selfie of him with his castmates or the set (or, what he was allowed to show under his contract). yet, despite your constant pleas, there was one co-star he’d never take a photograph with: jun

(“tenma! we’ve worked together for months~ shouldn’t i be called your friend now?” “no—” “huh?! don’t pretend you don’t like me!” “who said i was pretending?” “tenma!”)

at first, tenma was apprehensive about inviting you to an event where jun’s picture-perfect face would be on display everywhere. but, whenever he saw you, the weight of the tickets suddenly felt much heavier in his pocket. he couldn’t deprieve you of such an exclusive event just because of his jealousy (even if he was this close to doing so)

when tenma impulsively asked three days before, it felt worth it when you threw your arms around him (he hugged you back and pretended this meant something to you)

“i love you, ten!”

tenma felt like he was on set again, with yuri’s arms tightly holding onto his heart

“i love you, too.”

even after saying it so many times, tenma meant it even if he didn’t say it to your face every time

you looked like the star of the show

tenma fixed his tie as his blazer suddenly felt too tight. you appeared in your most formal attire, looking like a million bucks as you two sat across each other in the limo

“ten, look at all of this!” you pointed out every little thing of preparing for a professional event. the little glasses of champagne neither of you two could drink sat to the side as the leather seats molded to fit your posture. as the night lights of tokyo blurred by, tenma couldn’t help but think you sparkled more than this diamond of a city

“i can’t wait to go see the first episode! thank you for inviting me.” you bowed your head, as if suddenly overcome with gratefulness. tenma lightly kicked your shoe with his, fondly rolling his eyes as he tried not to smile (mission failed)

“don’t worry about it, who else would i bring? you’re my favorite pe—friend. friend, yeah...” tenma trailed off, suddenly finding something very interesting outside of the window. you only nodded, seemingly more interested in the fact there was enough room to walk around

when tenma caught sight of the infamous red carpet laid out in front of the theatre, he cleared his throat and put on his best face for the cameras. after stepping out of the car with his bodyguards nearby, tenma turned and gave you a genuine smile. not his typical arrogant smirk the news source ate up, but a type of smile only reserved for you

when he held out his hand, the flashing lights behind him seemed like a real celebrity, something you had never considered him to be before. it was like seeing tenma in a new light (both literally and figuratively)

“shall we?” you took his hand and wondered if you could ever have your own j-drama. perhaps, tenma could even be the main lead...

before you could step off to the side, tenma already had his arm wrapped around your waist with his unchanging expression (however, underneath it all, he was internally freaking out. what was he going to do now?!)

“you’re my date, right? walk the red carpet with me.” tenma winked (you swore it sparkled) as he gestured towards the carpet ahead. suddenly, the line seemed much longer

“t-ten... you’ve never brought a date before...” you mumbled, acutely aware of how soon it was to walk down together. tenma’s arm stiffened, but nothing else exposed the revelation as he looked down at you

“you’re my first, then.” and my last, tenma thought to himself. before you could change your mind, it was showtime. tenma put on his movie star face and introduced you to familiar interviewers, smiling away as if you two weren’t panicking on the inside

while you were focusing on the fact you were going to be going viral as tenma’s first “date” to the event, tenma was trying not to blush from how close you were. you felt... right besides him

tenma was a natural in front of an audience waiting for him to make a mistake. he flawlessly answered every question with swaggering confidence, his stride easy and poses photogenic

you did your best to follow his lead but it all ended when tenma took you into the theatre, staring down at you with a bright smile

“we did it! see, told you we’d be just fine.” tenma let out an exhale of relief, glowing with joy from the adrenaline of everything that came with being a superstar. as you looked up into his excited eyes, you saw him lean down before—

“your arm is still around me.”

silence, then a hurried separation as tenma put too many feet between you two. it was suddenly as if you two were strangers. you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth; you didn’t mind at all... why did you say something?!

“um... so, food?” tenma spoke up after an eternity of making excuses. you two quickly moved to the line of movie snacks, using candy and popcorn to substitue the suddenly awkward silence

when tenma ordered all your favorites without even asking, he turned around with the selection only to close his eyes and internalize every single thing he was feeling because there he was, his worst enemy

jun entered from a side door, most likely finishing up helping the crew with set-up (and 30 minutes early as usual) before catching tenma’s iconic bright orange hair, a grin lighting up his face

“tenma! it’s me, jun!” he said, as if they weren’t the two main leads of japan’s most famous drama so far. immediately, your smile matched jun’s as you watched as your favorite actor of all time make his way towards you two

“jun... of course you’d be here.” tenma said through gritted teeth, forcing a pleasant smile even with an armful of junk

“ah, still keeping the bad boy attitude? we’re off set now, you can stop method acting now.” jun joked, bringing his attention to you with a dazzling smile that would absolutely make any fansite’s career

“oh? who is this, a friend of yours?” tenma tried not to sigh so loud when you couldn’t help yourself and burst into a long rant about how amazing jun was. tenma waited until you reached your midpoint and stopped you with a quick nudge, trying not to scream (could jun stop being so... perfect? could you stop being so cute?!)

when tenma introduced you, he stood a little closer as he tried to maintain his jealousy. “they’re my date, by the way.” no one had asked, but tenma was clearly telling anyone who was around you two had gone together

jun’s eyes lit up in recognition as he let out a noise of surprise. “ah~ so this is who you—”

tenma didn’t regret losing his giant popcorn so fast to a co-star who could only be silenced with food. his wallet could afford another one, anyways. his pride on the other hand? could not let you know his acting secret already

“what was jun going to say?” you asked after you two departed for the viewing room. tenma nonchalantly pretended like everything was okay as he guided you to front row

“probably something about the fact you’re the one who always interrupts our scenes.”

“hey! my texts make your day, don’t lie!”

“go sit down and eat already, jeez.”

when it began, your eyes couldn’t leave the screen. it was better than you could have imagined. everything was perfect, it exceeded the standards of even the toughest fans out there. you loved every second of it... except...

tenma was too good at being chan. even with his bright hair, the dark clothes he wore made him appear intimidating, with his sharp eyes and even sharper smirk. chan’s appearance was tough, rough, and mean, everything tenma wasn’t

yet, you still couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when chan was clearly in love with yuri. yuri was one of your favorite characters by far, but she ended up bothering you for the entireity of the episode

especially every time she shared a scene (which were many times) with chan. chan was revealed to be a bad boy with a heart of gold, all with a special soft side for yuri

what was this feeling? were you... no, you couldn’t be! after all, you had never seen tenma that way before, right? yet, every time chan made an exception for yuri, you felt sick to your stomach

was it possible that tenma liked the actress who played yuri? you snuck a glance at tenma, only to see he was looking at you already (he’d never admit it, but he was watching your reactions to see if he made you proud. yet, every time you saw him, you subconsciously frowned)

were you not proud of him? did you not like his performance as chan?

before tenma could ask you, the scene changed into one of chan’s. he was standing outside in the school uniform, his head ducked as he swiped through yuri’s social media. before he could look up, yuri jumped in front of him with a teasing smile

“roar!” she called out, referring to their inside joke earlier in the episode. yuri cutely bounced back with another roar, holding her hands up like paws. chan watched, his typical rock-hard expression breaking to reveal his developing feelings for yuri

later on, chan stopped yuri in the hallway, other students watching as the school’s bad boy and goddess interact

“do that again.” chan demanded to which yuri innocently tilted her head, confused like a little puppy. “do what?” “that... that thing.” when chan roared, tenma sunk into his seat with an embarrassed defense and explanation ready. but, when he looked, you finally cracked a laugh at his little roar

your smile only fell when yuri roared again as a joke, but chan smiled for once. tenma wondered why... he thought you would be so happy to be here with him. maybe, he’d never be better than jun...

when the episode ended, it took a moment before you stood up and clapped. tenma followed along, but all he could think about was how he let you down. not only as chan, but as your boy, too

when you two left the room, you two hung back to watch as everyone congratulated one another on the success of the production. in the midst of the cheer and celebration, tenma felt small as he watched your blank expression

what did he do wrong? he put his best efforts into every scene; he might even say it was his best work yet. before he could apologize, you did the unthinkable: you roared

you jumped up into his face, holding your hands up like yuri did. when yuri did it, tenma didn’t feel a thing. but, when you did, tenma felt it. the butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he stared at you, frozen in place

“this is the part where you ask me to do it again.” you shyly trailed off, about to put your hands down before tenma weakly put his hands up, knowing he was about to regret his next move (if the embarrassment didn’t kill him, he didn’t know what would)

“roar!”

that was too loud, wasn’t it? the room suddenly went a lot more quiet as they turned their attention towards a teen actor roaring at his date

“yah! why didn’t you ask me the next line?”

“b-because... i know i like you even without you doing, that, again.”

you paused, taken back by his honesty. as tenma contemplated just falling onto the floor right then and there, you suddenly hardened your expression, standing up straighter with your arms crossed

“do that again.”

“do what?”

“that thing.”

when tenma roared again, much quieter this time, you nodded as you finally smiled genuinely for the first time ever since that episode started

“good, i know how chan feels now. i like you, too.”

“does that mean i’m your favorite actor now?”

(when jun released a video of tenma roaring online, he captioned it with “ROAR = ILY!!!” tenma realized maybe he wasn’t all that bad, but still)

[roselynflame]

i cant tell you how excited i am that you are a very cool person who also happens to like the ufc the same way i do (and that you share so many kind comments on my excessive posts lmao 😭)

i have to ask: who are your favourite fighters and why?? :D

IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO ANSWER OMG!! so many things came up like my bf and his wisdom teeth removal and i finally went to the DMV FOR THE FIRST TIME!! and also i have medical stuff going on and school is starting up again soon WAHHH so MUCH!!!

i am so honored that you're in my inbox for the second time (SO SORRY FOR NOT RESPONDING THE FIRST TIME) and WAAHHHH to ask me about my FAV FIGHTERS???? AND WHY I LIKE THEM??????? QHAHHAHHJFHKEFJEWJFLEWKJLJ tumblr user verawhisk i feel so blessed that you exist

you are so cool and i LOVE ALL YOUR POSTING and im so so so glad i scoured tumblr for ufc content and found you :)))

as of my favs.... oh me oh my

strap yourself in this is gonna be a long one

first of all. i love brandon moreno. i have not been a fan for long, only about three weeks now, but he has earned my number one spot and is keeping it, forever. i could scream and cry and pee my pants talking about him, but i will keep calm because... wow. brandon moreno. he is just. everything that is wonderful about the world personified into one man.

i find his attitude in this line of work so refreshing, he's so respectful of other fighters and so kind while also being a complete badass and holding his own ground. and the fact that he's SUCH A SWEETIE???? HE MAKES HIS MONEY BY GETTING INTO A CAGE TO FIGHT ANOTHER PERSON AND BE TELEVISED DOING IT AND HE'S SUCH!! A SWEETIE!!

he collects legos and is married to a woman he's been dating since (i think) 18 and together they have three beautiful children and they're all GIRLS!! and he's so kind to his wife and his kids and so genuinely wholesome while being so mature and grounded and grateful for everything in his life.

also i find him so hot. he's such a baddie bro.

my bf was the one who got me into mma/ufc, and i have a running joke with him that i only like characters in media that are hot, so i asked him to show me hot fighters and well. brandon moreno was the second one he showed me lol!

the first one?

charles oliveira.

OH MY GOOOOOD charles was my introduction into ufc!! the first fight i ever watched was charles v. dustin and it was a great one to start with!! i love charles's fights because you're always guaranteed excitement and flare!! he's always moving in and being bold, and i truly adore how all of his fights go.

also he's so soooo fucking cute with his daughter oh my god???? he loves her so much and i can't fucking handle it

i love him so much... i also love how, like moreno, he came from a struggling background and how he had to struggle to become successful. no nepotism babies in my house! i think he's made such great strides, and i love seeing an underdog become a champ it’s so good. he deserves everything he's gotten.

do i sometimes question how humble he really is?? yeah. do i sometimes think maybe just mayybeee the fame and glory gets to him? mhm, yeah. do i also think i would be super cocky if i won against dustin and michael and justin and TONY FERGUSON??? oh definitely.

i love charles so much, it's just that now that i know more fighters and see other personalities, i feel conflicted about him bc i don't really know anything about his personality lmao.

i know the basics because you can always tell the basics, but i don't speak portuguese dawg i can't just go and watch interviews for him to see what he’s like 😭😭 not unless they're translated which... rarely they are from what i've seen 😭

it just feels harder to deep dive for him lol but im trying to make it work bc i love him :))

anyway i think he's super hot. he takes selfies like it's still the early 2010s and does not know how to pose for shit but he has a very nice body and the blond hair does him wonders. and the SHORTSSS WITH THE SLITS???? bro he has me SWOONING I SWEARRRR!!! i love early photos of him when he still had brown hair and that weird mohawk and the glasses bc his sight is so bad bc... what can i say i love me a loser. or well at least someone who looks a bit nerdy lol

i love charles!! he is second to moreno now, but he's my first ufc love and he was my first fight :))

anyway, those are my big two favs and the ones i keep up with the most, but i'm starting to branch out into other fighters too!! i will admit that i only really know lightweights and flyweights though lmao…

i love justin gaethje a lot!! when you started posting him with chandler it really boosted that love bc yay!! gaethje content!! i love his face so much, i think he's just such a cutie. his eyes really get me, and like charles, i love seeing older photos of him with his glasses!! i love seeing fighters look like losers because man oh man you'd never expect that they fight professionally haha

i think he's so cute and so silly and he reminds me of a little dog that's just a bit too clueless for its own good. he is so precious to me.

but his FIGHTING??? oh my god gaethje is such a powerhouse, and i love when you see him pull out the wrestling moves bc for someone who was an ncaa d1 wrestler, you don't see him use it a lot lol. but his STRIKING??????? holy moly i think i’d pay to get punched by him

i will admit that i have yet to watch more full fights of his, i've only seen him against charles (and we all know how that went...) and then some clips (mainly of michael and tony but a few dustin ones), but i love what i've seen

also his backflips? god he's so lovable. i wish he would post more on social media lmao.

speaking of tony, i also love him a lot!! tony is one of my boyfriend's favs, and i just... i love him so much. his social media captions are... really weird and i hate but love how he signs every instagram story with -CSO- and then the american and mexican flags 😭

i wasn't around for it, but i wish he did get the opportunity to fight khabib. ppl say that charles v islam is gonna be the tony v khabib we never got and i can get behind that thought process, i really can.

tony's 12 win streak ending because of gaethje is so bittersweet because i love both of them. i hate that tony is on this downward spiral, but you know, you only go for so long in this type of work. 38 isn't that old when it comes to life, but when it comes to mma... idk sometimes you just gotta know when to call it quits and i hope he doesn't push himself :/

also i think tony is so hot... idk how to explain it lol... he really is something else. ALSO THAT VOICE YOOOOOOOWEEEEEE!!!!!!

i also have a super soft spot for kai kara france!! i think he's a genuinely good person and him and his wife and son are a super cute family. i love seeing supportive spouses wahhh it makes me so happy.

kai is such a sweetheart and he deserves so much more. i talk about it with my bf all the time: kai deserves to be champ, he really does, but even if he beat moreno and went on to figgy, i think he would have lost. :/

figgy and moreno are just... leagues above the rest of the division, and yes them going against each other for the fourth time is lowkey repetitive... but like not really. all three of their fights have been so fucking engaging and it's crazy to see how equally matched they are. they're destined to fight. enemies to lovers slowburn soulmates.

but kai is amazing. just not... ready for figgy i feel yknow? i'd happily watch him and moreno fight again though.

ALSO THE FACT THAT HE'S MAORI??? WAHHFHEIHGEWHOEH I LOVE SEEING INDIGENOUS PPL INTEGRATE THEIR CULTURE INTO THEIR CONTENT

okay this is going on for so so long lmao... honorable mentions are dustin bc i'm trying to get into his content more and michael chandler bc your posts made me go and stalk his account. and kim jiyeon. she's new and i know nothing about her... she's also on a losing streak lmao... but she is HOOOOT. and i'm asian so i have to love other asians in ufc.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS AND READING THIS. i will now also send an ask to you LOLLLL