#Anyway. This chapter is all about building tension | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gotham-daydreams · 4 months

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Not Now (PT. 2)

[Platonic! Yandere! Neglectful Batfam × Gender Neutral! Sibling Reader]

[Warnings: Mentions of Neglect, Mild General Yandere(ish) Behavior, Arguing, Awkward Tension(?), No One is Having a Good Time, Angst, Implied Past Injuries (To Reader)]

(When I say arguing I do mean it this time. Might be a bit more OOC? Dick is living up to his nickname. This is longer than the first part, just fyi - and by a good 4k or so words. Again, take your time and remember to take breaks!)

Didn't tag anyone on this post since both this part and the first are posted back to back :] Regardless, enjoy!

Chapter 1. Chapter 2. Chapter 3 (PT. 1). [Series Masterlist]

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"I… I just don't think it's a good idea. It doesn't feel right, and- and I…" You couldn't think of much else to say. All the reasons you had felt too personal, and you didn't feel comfortable telling Dick any of them. Not out here, and certainly not while he was in the suit. Though even if he wasn't, you weren't sure that it'd make you any more willing to tell him anything.

After all, you wouldn't even share the date of your birthday if he asked now, with or without the suit.

"Yeah, but why? It doesn't make sense to not go to either place just because you have a ‘bad feeling’ or anything. Even then, you'll be safe, and that's what really matters." That didn't feel like it was the case. Your safety doesn't feel like a priority over him just being able to keep an eye on you, and being able to pull anything he wants to without any prying eyes.

Though it was with that thought, did you wonder when you began to see Dick as someone so untrustworthy that you considered him to be on the same level as a thug out on the streets. Just far more dangerous and capable.

"Look, I just-" You sigh harshly, looking back at Dick as the fire in your chest rose, building up as it poked at your ribs and flesh. Begging for more air, more room to grow. "I'm going to the park. If you're not coming then that's fine by me, and if you're not okay with that, then there's nothing I can do about it." You state, looking forward as you pick up your pace.

Dick fumbles over his words before he hurriedly matches your pace, "Wait! Let's try and think this over-"

"Why? Even if we're out in the open, you're still a vigilante. If you can defend and look after an entire city, then surely you can protect one person, right? Not to mention that I can take care of myself." You huff, still keeping your eyes forward even as they narrow. You add, "Besides, again- not many people are out tonight. And if anything- seem to be rushing home, because of whatever is going on. We'll be fine."

"Sure. Yeah. I can handle it- but wouldn't it be smarter to just be inside anyway? That way it's less likely for anything to happen. You have to think rationally-" You swiftly cut Dick off again, really trying to put your foot down and stand your ground here.

"I am thinking rationally. You're a skilled vigilante that's been trained under Batman, and have only improved in skill and technique over the years. If anything goes wrong, and I can't handle it, you can. Not to mention that you have a way to contact the others if things really do go sideways, and you're in the suit. I didn't think I needed to say anything else." You sigh, lightly scratching the cup in your hands with your nail.

"Also, if you haven't noticed, even criminals and thugs are running home. It's like some kind of quarantine or lock down is going on. Some random person eavesdropping on us doesn't seem like it'll be a problem. Let alone with all of the noises that seem to be 'persuading' people to go home."

Dick could only sigh himself before saying, "Alright- okay. Fine. But like you said, I'm still in the suit."

"And?"

"And someone could see, and think that you're a close tie to me or something. You could be put in more danger."

"Are you actually worried about that now? You've been walking beside me this entire time when you didn't have to, and it's only now that you're worried about me being seen with you in the suit?"

"How else are we supposed to have this conversation? And I'm sorry for being worried about your safety, and well-being in the future for being seen with me." You could practically hear the eye-roll in Dick's voice despite knowing that he didn't actually do it. When did he get so sarcastic?

"That's not the issue, and you know that. We could've figured out some other way to have this talk, and you didn't have to walk beside me this entire time." You shot him a glance, causing Dick to sigh again.

"What if something happened while I was up top, and I couldn't react fast enough because I wasn't next to you? Someone could've tried something if I wasn't there, especially because you'd appear to be by yourself."

"So… remind me again, who's the paranoid one?"

"Y/n, I'm being serious." Dick states.

"I know. I'm being serious too, and I'm just saying that it's kind of ridiculous to be worrying about that now when it's already been a few minutes." You huff, "And I don't know what you expect me to do about it. I'm not the one in the suit, y'know. Why don't you just go and change somewhere?"

Dick rubs his nose bridge, getting annoyed but not trying to show it as he says, "Fine. I can do that, but at least come with me." He looks at you expectantly as his hand drops from his face. You couldn't help but raise a brow at his words.

"Why?"

"So that I can keep an eye on you…? And if anything happens while I'm changing- I'll be able to jump in and help much faster?" Dick said, confused. Talking as if he was stating the obvious, and maybe he was in a way, but you didn't see why he's so adamant about being close to you enough where he could easily protect you or reach you if needed.

"But wouldn't that kind of go against the point of you changing…?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I wait somewhere and Nightwing walks off, only for you-know-who to pop up after a little while, and we walk off together, wouldn't that be weird? Or at least hint at a certain something?" You point out, a little confused and surprised that you even had to explain this to Dick.

"C'mon, I won't be that obvious. And even then, no one will be able to figure it out."

"You say that like every other villain or wannabe in Gotham isn't some genius or anything. They're criminals and all that, but they aren't entirely stupid."

Dick sighs, though it came out more frustrated than he would’ve liked as he ran a hand through his hair once again, "Still, I'd just like for you to at least be close by. I don't want anything to happen to you, and I want to be able to help out as soon and as quickly as I can if anything does." He explains, getting a little closer to you.

"Please, Y/n. Just come with me."

You shake your head, your shoulders feeling far too heavy, and the flame in your chest was much too hot for you to even think about it. You knew Dick wasn't happy about it when he gave you a little room, but still kept close. As if hoping you'd change your mind, despite already knowing the answer.

"I'll just head to the park, and wait a few minutes. I'm not defenseless and can handle myself for a while, and it's not my fault that I could be in more potential danger because someone thought it was a good idea to come see me, and follow me around while in their suit. You can figure it out, and live without me for a few minutes." You huff harshly, adding, "If you aren't there after that time? I'm leaving. That's all." Once again, you pick up your pace, only to be stopped by Dick as he rushes in front of you.

"Wait- hold on. Are you sure about this? I don't think it's a good idea- and how long exactly will you be waiting? Where are you going if you leave? Are you going back to the apartment? Are you going home?" You don't like how hopeful Dick looked when he asked you that last question, but you push your discomfort to the side, and stand your ground.

"I'm an adult, and I'm a L/n. I'm sure about this. You can think whatever you want, and like I said- I'll be waiting a few minutes. If you're not there by then, I'm going to leave." You narrow your eyes at Dick, piercing him with your gaze as you said, "I've made my choice and I'm sticking to it. If you're not happy about it, or don't agree, then you can leave and I'll go on with my night. I'll wait at the park, and that's that." You state one final time before making your way around Dick, and continuing to walk forward. Luckily, he didn't try to stop you again, and if anything — seemed to stop following you entirely.

All you heard was a low scoff from behind you, and the rush of wind.

When you glance back, Dick was gone, and it was only then did you realize how heavy the air felt. Releasing the breath you didn't know you had been holding, you clutch your chest. Your heart aches, and yet you manage to push on.

Tonight wasn't exactly going well for you, but that almost tipped you over the edge.

You were beginning to hate many things about tonight, along with Dick. It almost made you think that maybe you were lucky back when he hardly ever noticed or talked to you. It made things easier, after all, and of course now that you've had your longest conversation with him — things were only getting harder.

Every word he said made him seem bigger, or pushed you down as an attempt to make you smaller. His reasoning could go from making complete sense, to being outright idiotic and paranoid. With each action of his being either too small or way too much.

Dick, in that way, was too much.

You could chalk up some of your discomfort and nervousness to your lack of experience with Dick, and being around him. Of course some of his antics and habits would seem strange to you — since you were never able to see much of them, and those that you did notice were from a far, and never up close. You weren't able to experience them yourself, not until now. Though that almost made you grateful for all the times he turned you down or ignored you, seeing as now you could only see how much of a handful he is to deal with.

Maybe that could've changed if you were more familiar with him, but it was too late for that now. Even if you did wonder how this whole thing would've gone if you did know him. If you were more familiar with how Dick acted, and had actually managed to spend time with him. If Dick was more familiar with you, and how that'd change this whole situation… but, again, it was much too late for that. If he really wanted to know you, he would've taken one of the chances you gave him over the years, and yet he didn't. No one did. No one except for Alfred…

You hope he's okay, at least.

Shaking your head, you push your thoughts to the side. There was no use thinking about 'what if's, not when such thoughts and possibilities kept you in the manor for so long. Not when your mind used them against you, and had you keep that pathetic hope you once desperately clung onto. You promised yourself you wouldn't do that anymore, and so you took a breath, and tried to stop them from coming in. They always slip by, but you try to ignore them. Especially since they caused you so much trouble that could have easily been avoided in the past.

You took a small sip of your coffee, only to pull it away and look at the cup strangely.

It was… bitter. More so than you remember, and it immediately struck you as odd. Since, Jessica always managed to make your coffee the exact same way every time, and even if she did make some mistakes here and there, the change was never this significant or noticeable. Not like it was now, with the taste lingering on your tongue, almost trying to further stain your taste buds and remain there for as long as possible. As if trying to permanently ingrain itself in your mouth.

You couldn't help but cringe a bit. Maybe getting coffee really was a bad idea after all…

Sighing, you just continue on and brush the weird occurrence to the side. Whatever, you have enough things to deal with and worry about now. There wasn't much you could do about the coffee, and if anything, maybe that just went to further show how horrible your night is going thanks to Dick.

Though, you wouldn't push it that far, even if your opinion of him was definitely souring by the minute, but the thought was pretty funny to think about, at least.

The night felt calm for once, and it’s only now, with you by yourself, do you realize how much you needed this.

Sure, Gotham was potentially going to hell, and you might see Dick again in a few minutes, but you don't have to worry about that right now. Just here, in the streets, did you have… normal problems. Problems unrelated to a family you no longer wanted to involve yourself with, that also just so happened to be made up of vigilantes. Problems that didn't involve your musical career, and how your rise to fame was becoming both an inconvenience, and a bit of an issue. Problems that… just about everyone has dealt with one way or another.

Your coffee didn't taste quite right, you felt exhausted despite having only walked a bit, and your social battery was just about to hit its limit. The air was just a tad too cold for the clothes you were wearing, you had a strong desire to crawl into bed and sleep like you had nothing else to worry about, and really — besides yourself and making a few dumb mistakes, the only thing you really had to worry about here was getting mugged. Maybe even jumped, at a push.

Yet, such things got a light, airy laugh out of you. You felt so at ease by yourself, and during the most dangerous hours of the night, no less. Despite everything, you couldn't help but find a bit of humor in it, and such a little thing even made you feel better. That uncomfortable heat in your chest dying down, and almost going away entirely as you cooled off.

As funny as it was, you felt safer and so much more at ease without the person that was so adamant about wanting to do all of these things, to protect you. How could you not laugh at the irony?

Suddenly, the bitter taste on your tongue didn't feel so bad anymore.

Walking along Gotham streets when it was so quiet still made you feel a bit uneasy, but for the time being you were able to find some small peace with it. After all, who knew when you'd get another breather like this? Especially with whatever business Dick had with you. Vigilante and hero work wasn't exactly known to be light and easy, after all.

So, you took this moment as it is. Finding odd little details in the night that helped you relax as much as you could before things continued.

Honestly, you didn't think you were ready for whatever Dick was about to talk about or mention, but you doubt any of it could surprise you. After all, in a city where a villain breaking out of the local prison or asylum every now and again during the week was normal, it was hard to be surprised by things related to such occurrences. Since, it even felt like someone was trying to blow up the place at least twice a month, and robberies were so common that it was a wonder that anyone had any fortune left to protect at all.

Though it did still make you curious about what’s going on.

Obviously, it couldn't be any good, but it just seems too… quiet to be anyone that Gotham had already seen before. Seeing as the usual villains and whatnot always made some kind of mess, or made things as extravagant and entertaining as possible. Almost like a certain clown that loved to try and run circles around a certain bat.

Regardless of that, however, you were still more curious about why Dick — or any of the others, really — had bothered to seek you out at all. Sure, the first thing that came to mind was that they need you for something, rather that be for help or something else entirely, but that's only because it made the most sense to you. Why else would they try to find out where you live? You couldn't think of another reason. Though, again, maybe that was because they had ignored you for so long? Even then, you can't think of anything else.

Besides help and such, nothing else made any logical sense to you. There is no other reason. There couldn't be, and if there is — you couldn't think of it. They couldn't just be here for you. They almost weren't capable of it. You're sure, since they have made it very clear a long time ago. You were just too naive and blind to see it at first, but now you did, and you don't plan on becoming blind to that again…

Nevertheless, you continue on your little path.

Now that Dick wasn't with you, your journey to the park was short, and much more peaceful and quiet. It was almost calm in an odd way, but you appreciated it all the same.

The park held that strange feeling of abandonment and emptiness that most of Gotham seemed to have tonight — thanks to whatever was going on — but you manage to ignore it for the most part. Making your way around the park, your pace was slower and your breath was a bit heavier. You felt like you were prolonging the inevitable, and such a feeling spawned so much dread that you almost choked on it. However, you manage, and instead try to find a good place to sit and wait for the time being.

Sure, it would be easy to leave and just go on with your night, but you did want to stay true to your word even if only a little. It's the least you could do, since this would be the last thing you'd ever do for any of them, anyway.

Besides, you were better than them in that way — following through with what you said, instead of saying a ‘maybe’ that'll never come, or a ‘next time’ that'll never arrive. Always stuck to a tomorrow that was always just out of reach.

Your words held meaning, unlike theirs.

Moving on, you eventually found a good spot. It was closer to the center of the park, and the moon could be seen as clearly as it could be with all of the clouds passing by, and building up. The air had an odd moist and damp feeling to it, and it made you think that it might rain after all, seeing as you remember hearing something about it earlier in the day. Yet, that just gave you all the more reason to hope that this whole thing would be wrapped up soon. Though whether that happened with Dick not showing up, or him making good time and keeping things short and simple, you didn't care.

Even if you did hope that he just wouldn't show. For both his sake, and your own.

Settling down on a park bench off to the side of the path, you took a big breath, before letting it all out. You still don't have a good feeling about this, but you'd take all the little victories you could. Since, you managed to avoid going to the manor and clock tower by some miracle, and even got Dick to leave you alone for a little while. Even if a small part of yourself did wish that you had pissed him off enough for him to leave you alone, you wouldn't count on it. He seemed oddly stubborn about sticking around, or to at least keep you around him, and though it made you feel uncomfortable, it unfortunately meant that there was a chance that he'd actually show up again.

You'd pray if you had any faith left, but you don't. Not at the moment, and certainly not with that possibility hanging over your head, just waiting to drop and crush you under its weight. Though for now, you'd try to not think about it as you look around, taking in the dark scenery instead.

The darkness of the night shaded over the park in an ominous, beautiful way. With the trees looming over you, and their leaves providing more shade than necessary. As if trying to protect you from the moon's stare as much as they could. The clouds slowly crawled over the sky, waiting for the perfect opportunity to drop all they were carrying — and leave the burden for Gotham to hold. They covered what could be made out of the blank, pitch black void that was the night sky, with the moon trying its hardest to shine through. To take a glimpse of the chaos below, and judge you in its silence.

A loose breeze drifts by, causing you to shiver thanks to its added chill over the night's natural coolness. The sounds of nature were hardly audible, as if even the insects have been silenced by whatever is going on, and the only thing you could hear was that constant, sickening snapping and cracking of broken bones, and that popping from joints getting dislocated. Even if such noises were much fainter now, thanks to the spot you've chosen, they still managed to reach you here, and dominate all other noises that tried to make themselves known, with its echo.

You could only sympathize with their desperation to be heard, to be noticed — only for the violence to cover all of their efforts. Maybe you'd even pity them, but you already felt foolish over your emotions, and feeling sympathy over noises was silly enough. You have already made enough humorous and dumb choices tonight, so you'd at least try to not make another. Even if you bothering to actually wait here, instead of leaving right away, is dumb enough.

You don't know if it was hilarious or sad how many stupid choices you’re making in one night, and all because of the people you are trying to leave behind. People you were so sure would never bother to look for you or even give you a single thought, and yet here you are now. Waiting for one of them to show up – only because suddenly he couldn't leave you alone. Almost like he couldn't afford to, and now you couldn't help but debate over the humor and sadness of that.

Of course it had to be now, it had to be tonight, that one of them showed up - but you don't know what exactly you're expecting. After all, if one of them were to try and show their face to you despite everything, it would be at the worst time possible. It felt fitting in an odd way, so maybe it was only right that things went down like this. That life throw one of the biggest ‘fuck you's it could at you, during a time where you are trying to recover. To heal. To get better.

Of course he just had to show his face when you were done with him — with them, and their whole family. It had to be now, when you're trying to move on, did an effort have to be made. It couldn't be while you were in the manor - when you were trying to do the same.

… Maybe you should've let him bust open the door to your apartment after all, and just ran away while you still had the chance.

Yet, as if knowing you were thinking of walking away while he still wasn't around, Dick finally appeared and made himself known with a little whistle.

You turn your head and face him, his appearance almost making you laugh, but you didn't have it in you to do so. Much too exhausted and fatigued to even try, and your feelings were too mixed up to even consider the thought. Though you did have to admit, he did look a little funny.

Dick almost looked out of breath, but he still manages a smile when you turn to look at him. The clothes he wore looked strangely baggy, and you could've sworn that you saw the smallest glimpses of various price tags that were tucked away sloppily. Which made it look like he really was in a rush, and… well, you didn't know how to feel about that. Yet, in that same moment, you caught the tiniest bit of his suit right under the shirt he wore. Further ‘hinting’ at the fact that Dick had been in such a hurry that he didn't actually bother to change, and instead opted to cover up his suit.

His mask was off, at least, and for a moment you wondered where he put it until you noticed him subtly stuffing something in his pocket. Which is funny as it is concerning.

Dick wore an oversized coat that he left open, with a collar shirt underneath that had two of the buttons unbuttoned, along with sweatpants and shoes that didn't quite look his size. All in all, he looked like a mess, but Wayne's look good in everything for a reason, you suppose.

“Made it just in time! I told you I would, didn't I?” Dick chuckles, still holding onto the coffee you had given him earlier with one hand. The smile on his face quickly grew into a playful smirk, and you didn't know if you should find it weird or oddly scary how much closer he seems to be to the side of him you've only seen at a distance before. The side you have seen at galas or with his family, occasionally. A side you didn't have any personal experience with until now, and the dread you felt from before only grew at that.

“Um, no, you didn't-” You try to point out, only for him to cut you off.

“Well, it probably just slipped my mind, but I'm here now!” He muses, and you can’t help but find his tone off putting considering how things ended off a few minutes ago. He both looks and sounds way too happy for someone who was so annoyed with you before.

“I didn't keep you waiting, did I?” Dick steps closer, making his way over to you casually. Not a single trace of his previous demeanor could be found.

You can't help but move a little further away, and bite your tongue. You hoped he would've, that he did, but unfortunately he did make good time. Since, from the moment you sat down, Dick appeared only a minute after, and had it not been for his messy outfit, you would've thought that he had planned this whole thing out — down to the very last second.

“No…” You drag on, looking away once again, trying to hide the disappointment in your voice.

Yet, despite the implications of it, Dick couldn't help but find it… cute, in an odd way. Causing him to exhale softly, his smirk dying back down into a smile. Blue hues shining as they look down at you.

He moves to sit down on the bench — noticing a spot next to you, but deciding to sit beside you instead. Still remaining close, but not getting in your space entirely, since he felt like you both weren't at that point just yet. There was an armrest between the both of you, and he felt as if that'd be enough for now. Even if he did want to move closer, he decides that this was the least he could do for having been ignoring your discomfort and clear nervousness thus far.

While he still couldn’t fully bring himself to acknowledge or accept it — since he still doesn't want to think about it — he at least wants to try and do this small thing for you.

Though, the space between you and him would never be big enough for you to be comfortable. Since just knowing he was around, and that you were in his space, already made you feel a certain way, but he didn't have to know that. Not that you would tell him, anyway.

Dick took this little opportunity to take a slow, long sip of his coffee. The drink not quite to his liking, but he wouldn't complain since you seem to like that little diner, and the last thing he wants is for your opinion of him to get worse, so he kept his mouth shut. Besides, it wasn't even that bad anyway, especially knowing that it came from a place that you enjoy going to.

Silence was quick to fall over the both of you again. Yet, this time, Dick didn't exactly have a problem with it.

Even if you weren't looking at him, he could still see that little twinkle in your eyes that the faint bits of moonlight were able to show and make clear. How your hair matched you just right, and the way you did it and took care of it completed your look even more. Along with how even the little things on your person said so much, yet so little, about who you are now. About who you have become after all this time.

A sense of endearment and sentimentality suddenly washes over Dick, and he can't help but feel as if it were just yesterday that you were introduced to the whole family. Though he still couldn't quite describe the look in your eyes then, as there was an unmistakable hint of excitement and unfounded joy that lingered when you first met them all. When you first met him.

You were such a little thing back then, and you have grown so much since. Dick still can't help but think about it even as he finally pulls the cup away from his lips, and sighs, content.

You were so small, and little. Your face round and youthful, hands soft and delicate - just like everything about you at the time. The world and the people in it were still so new to you, and you looked just about ready to explore it all. To see every little thing you could, and learn about everything that you found. ‘Wonder’ was the first word he thought of when he saw you that day, and looked at your expression. It was full of that child wonderment.

Yet… look at you now. Grown, and significantly taller than you were before. Face matured and settled, but still did have a youthful look to it. He notes how your hands did seem to be a bit rougher, and instead of delicacy, he found a gentleness that was always there — but is more prominent now. That look of wonder gone, and now replaced with something more. Something complicated and complex in nature, and yet simple all the same. There's a sense of turmoil but… he couldn't look much deeper than that. He can't bring himself to.

Point is, you have clearly changed.

Sure, he noted how you looked different and everything before, but now that same conclusion felt different in a strange way. Though maybe that was because he wasn't only looking at you now, but seeing you as well.

Dick doesn't just see the change in your clothes, and how your voice has changed its tempo and volume, but some other things as well. Maybe that's because he's able to connect some things he's learned about you over the course of the entire day, back to you and how you showed yourself now. How those details presented themselves in your appearance and mannerisms.

It’s a lot to take in, sure, but in this moment of silence - Dick found himself slowly absorbing all of this information, taking it all in and finding ways to love you through it. Even if the changes made a particular fact all the more clear — despite the time he has missed, he did genuinely love the person you have become. He does now, at least.

Despite everything he has done to you, or lack thereof, you have managed so much on your own. Despite him and the family not being around when they could've, when they should've, you managed to pave your own path and face all the challenges it brought by yourself - from what Dick could tell anyway. Even if he wasn't fully aware of all you have gone through in his absence, and he knew that as well – you’re still here. You're sitting beside him, looking at the scenery of the park, coffee cup in hand, and just… living in this moment with him.

Dick didn't know when such small things made him feel so happy or content, but in this moment, with you, it's like all he could feel was happy and put together, in a weird way. He doesn't know how to describe it, but now that he's here with you, in your space and presence, he feels… whole. Complete. Like all the missing pieces he didn't even notice were gone, all fell into place when you were around. With you here with him, he feels the happiest he's been in a long while, and he couldn't even begin to explain why.

He's only really known you for a day, but it already felt like he's spent a lifetime with you.

“Hey… Y/n?” He spoke up, breaking the silence between the both of you, looking back at the coffee cup in his hands. “I just want to say that… I'm happy you're here, and that you let me see you.” He begins, slowly looking back at you, an easy but pleasant smile on his face. It was easily the most natural one he's shown you tonight, and his clear unannounced happiness, no matter how light, made the pit in your stomach grow deeper and wider.

Why is he looking at you like that? And why did it hurt to see it now? Why did it relight the fire in your chest, and make it burn - the flames barely tickling your chest from the inside? Why did you feel like this? What did you do to cause him to wear such a smile?

Why now? What was going on?

“I know we haven't talked much, or really hung out, but this… this is nice for what it's worth, and I'm happy that I get the chance to spend this time with you despite everything.” The small bits of moonlight shined in his eyes, almost making Dick appear better than he was. More friendly, charming, and brighter than you saw him as. You couldn't stand the sight. Your dread growing much too big for you to keep looking at him.

So, you look away. Hoping that Dick would get whatever kind of message you were trying to send - and yet, even if he saw it, he didn't bother to decipher it. Words tumbling out of his mouth before he could think them over, too deep in his own feelings to see yours. Though he doesn't seem to mind as he said the words that began to fill his heart, and let them out into the open air. The wind whisking them away, and shoving them into your ears.

“You… mean a lot to me, and I know that, again, we haven’t really done much together, or really spent the most time together either, but- you matter to me. You’re important to me, and I’m sorry that was never made clear before.” He blurts out, heart aching and swelling at his own words, but Dick just couldn’t help himself. He feels like he needs to say something, to say this, and he doesn't want to have to wait any longer to say it. Even if you don’t like him or saw him a certain way, he wants to at least say this. To tell you his truth - his new truth. A truth that is becoming more clear to him as the seconds pass. Seconds he spent with you. “I know that I’ve messed up- a lot, and I know that it isn’t just me that made things turn out like this, but I at least want to let you know that I do care about you. I just…” Dick ran a hand through his hair, pausing for a moment as countless words he wanted to say float around in his head, but he just didn't know how to say them. Or even say them in a way that would get you to understand, or at least hear him out.

He looks away for a moment before looking back at you. Hand dropping and folding around his cup once again. “I’m sorry, for everything. For missing your concerts and performances, and just- everything. I should’ve been there, and even if I was busy, that isn’t an excuse. I should’ve made time for you, I could’ve, and yet it just always slipped my mind and… I should’ve never done that to you. You didn’t- you don’t deserve to go through that, you didn’t have to, and yet you did, and I’m just.. so sorry that now is the time that I’m realizing this. You… you deserve so much more than what we gave you, and I’m sorry if that made you feel any less than what you are- because you are amazing, and wonderful, and bright-!”

“You’re.. you’re a lot of things, and I really couldn’t list them all since I’m still slowly seeing it all for myself. Though even then, we’d be here for a while… wouldn’t we?” Dick chuckles lightly, a tinge of endearment in his tone, with a hint of a softness that was slowly becoming more and more apparent as he went on. His expression softened even more, and yet all you could feel was dread and anger that grew with each sentence that fell out of his mouth.

Was he messing with you? Was Dick trying to make himself feel better about everything, or just mess you up even more? Maybe both?

Why was he saying all of this now? Why tonight? Why now of all times? His words… they couldn’t be true. They can’t be. If they were, if they are – then why did he wait so long? How come he didn’t realize anything sooner? Why couldn’t he realize it sooner? Why now? Why right this minute, when you were almost ready to let go?

Why is he trying to give you hope over a future, a dream, a wish you never thought would come true? That they, indirectly or not, made you believe would never be made into a reality? No matter how much you did, and sacrificed for them behind the scenes? Was he trying to trick you? Did he really believe that you’d allow yourself to become blind again? That you could actually take the little words that he’s saying to you at face value, after all this time? After all of your wasted effort?

Did he really think that he could salvage what little remained of your nonexistent relationship with him, with just a few words and soft smiles? That you would just suddenly be willing to let him back into your life, after you spent the last year or so just trying to make it so that once you left, you’d never have to turn back? After everything he and the others put you through?

You understood that they were busy. That protecting Gotham and Bludhaven were more important to them than you’d ever be. That they care more about their work and their own lives than they never will about anything you’d try to say to them - you understood that well. It was almost impossible not too with how long you’ve had to deal with it, and come to terms with everything over the few months you’ve given yourself to truly soak everything in and reflect. The one time you gave yourself a breather to process all that's happened over the years you wasted on them, and think about how you are going to move forward in your life. How you’re going to deal with the family moving forward, or if you’d ever bother to deal with them at all. Though, you're still in that process, and had yet to really think about what you’d do moving forward.

Yet, Dick just had to show up while you were in that process. He just had to show his face after so long, and do this to you. Torment you with his words, and cause further conflict inside of you that you don’t need. Causing more heartache and pain that you didn’t want, and yet he just had to keep going, he had to keep talking. He couldn’t just walk away again like he had all of those other times when you were fighting to spend time with him, to just mean something to him. Dick just had to show up, and lie to your face about this. He just had to finally notice you, and hurt you more.

“I’m… I’m just really glad I got to see you is all I’m trying to say, I guess. And that I missed you too, in all honesty.”

So he keeps going, it seems. He just has to say that, like you’d believe him. Like you’d truly think that he cared about you more than the criminals in Gotham did. Like he wasn’t just lying to your face in an attempt to try and hurt you more. To crush what little part of your heart you still had given to them, and destroy it entirely.

Honestly, now it was like he's trying to get you to hate him. To rid of the memories where you used to look up to him, and really tried to see him as your older brother until the reality of it all crushed you. Until reality forced your eyes open, and made you realize the little you had, and the little he cared.

Your own anger was beginning to blind you, and your hatred grew within you - though you hardly found a part of yourself that cared anymore.

Even if Dick’s words are true to him, they aren't to you, and that’s all you cared about. Since, as far as you know, they were never true until he suddenly felt bad, and this whole thing started.

However, you still try to remain civil. Just taking in a breath, and sighing before looking back at Dick. Exhaustion becoming more evident, anger and hatred beginning to bloom – but you manage to tuck it away for now. No matter how frustrated Dick makes you, you could keep your composer. You could keep yourself together, and by God would you try no matter how much you want to just get up and leave. No matter how much you want to think that he wasn’t worth the time or energy. At least, not anymore.

“Dick, just tell me why you’re here.” You say, getting straight to the point and seemingly completely ignoring what he said before. Not taking his words to heart, no matter how much they sting and add fuel to the flame growing in your chest.

Dick looks at you confused, a little taken aback by your response, but just pushes it to the side. Only raising a brow, managing to keep up his smile, “What do you mean? I told you already, silly.” He chuckles a bit, his words already pinching at your skin.

“I’m here to see you.”

‘Bullshit.’ You immediately thought, but don’t say out loud. Not yet, anyway.

“It’s obvious that something’s going on, I mean- do you hear the sounds echoing throughout Gotham? Or, hell, how quiet it is besides said noises?” You ask, tone shifting with every word that spilled out of your mouth, undertone unclear, but Dick didn’t like it. “You don’t have to explain what’s going on, but please, just tell me how or if I can help so that we can both go on with our nights? I know you don’t have time for this. Both of us don’t.”

Dick can only furrow his brows in response, his confusion growing the more you spoke, but also worried about the tone you’re using with him. A tone that was growing increasingly harsh.

“What are you talking about? I never said I needed your help with anything, and didn’t I already mention that the others are handling the situation?” Dick said, genuinely confused, and yet that only seems to make the flame in your chest burn brighter.

“Then what are you doing here? Why are we even talking right now if you don’t need anything from me?” You ask, voice rising in volume a bit before you bring it back down. The little stings Dick’s words left on your skin turning into a grip around your heart.

“I’ve already told you, Y/n…. I just wanted to see you.” Dick said again, growing a little more worried now.

“Yes, but why? What made you want to see me so badly that you even went out of your way to find out where I live?” You couldn’t help but ask, frustration growing but so did your desperation. Over what, you don’t know, but all you knew was that you want this to be over. You want to go home. You want to be away from Dick. From them.

Even if your home probably wouldn’t feel as safe anymore now that they knew where it is, and you knew that too, but couldn't find it in yourself to care. Anywhere that wasn't in the immediate vicinity of Dick felt better than being here, with him at arm's length.

“I need a reason to see my younger sibling now? I can’t just come visit them?” Dick asks, still worried and confused, yes, but an odd tone of sarcasm seemed to develop under his tongue.

“After months of no contact? After all that’s happened?” You say as a meaningless, humorless laugh escapes you before your voice drops and cements itself, “Yes. Yes you do, because you’ve never visited me before. You’ve never gone out of your way like this, not even to see me in my own room. So why now? Why tonight? Why come see me?”

Your words stung Dick, and you can tell with how he flinches a bit at your words, if only for a brief moment. He even cringes a little, as if they have physically hurt him, but you didn’t react much. You want to know why, because it made no sense to you, and by God did you deserve an answer.

There is no reason why he should’ve come to see you, none. You aren’t related to him, and even if you are by law, he’s never treated you like family in the past - just someone else who lives in the manor, but over time you began to believe that he started to forget that too, with how he’d grow increasingly surprised by seeing you in person when he'd occasionally visit.

You meant nothing to him, last you checked. So what was so important that he and the others needed to find out where you live, and seek you out like this? What was going on?

From how you look at Dick, he can tell you wanted to know. That you want a ‘real’ answer, one that you’d accept, anyway. Along with the fact that you aren’t going to take your words back, finding them to be nothing less than true, and even if they are, they don’t hurt any less. Especially considering how far he’s come today. How much he’s seen, and how his view is beginning to change. How you were growing on him without even knowing it, making him realize that some of it isn’t even you to begin with. Though there wasn’t much he could do about that, not right now. Not with you getting worked up like this, and not with how he's beginning to hurt too.

The truth hurt, it almost always did. Never sparing anyone, and almost acting as a sword rather than weight. A dagger than another page, but paper cuts did exist for a reason – he supposes.

“I.. I know that it might seem hard to believe, considering everything, but that really is all there is to it.” Dick says, trying to explain as he clutches onto the coffee cup in his hands, “I just want to see you because I was worried, and I… I just wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s all.”

“Then what about the others? Why find out where I live? What’s with all the noise?” Your desperation was becoming a little clearer as you spoke quickly, the questions falling out of your mouth as your heart began to squeeze tightly. The smoke that the fire in your chest was creating, started to reach and fill your lungs little by little with each passing second.

“The others are busy taking care of the city, and how else am I supposed to see you? You weren’t answering any of my or Tim’s calls or texts. We…” Dick drags on a little before just sighing, looking dejected, “I was worried about you- I am worried about you. I thought something happened, and I had to know if something did. Is that so wrong? Can I not check on my younger siblings anymore?”

“That's not what I meant, and you know that.” You point out straight away, but did falter the slightest bit when he mentions how you were ignoring them trying to contact you earlier. However, you didn't back down. “And both of you just started contacting me today. I didn't have any time to answer either of you before you showed up at my door.”

“Really? You had absolutely no time at all to pick up the phone? Not even send a quick message, or even read our texts?”

“I was busy? And was doing something else, so I couldn't get to the phone right away.”

“For several hours? Y/n, you've got to be kidding me.” Dick chuckles out, obviously not believing you, which ticks you off even more.

“What, so I can't do other things? I have to be at your every beck and call, now?” You scoff, rolling your eyes. “None of you have ever contacted me first, so I'm sorry that I didn't have any time to respond to whatever you both had to say. I have my own life to deal with, you do know that, right?”

“That's not what I-” Dick cuts himself off, just letting out a sigh before speaking again after thinking over how to reword what he wants to say, “Look, just- what was so important that made it so you couldn't answer the phone?” He asks instead, searching your expression for something, and furrowing his brows when he couldn't find it.

“... That's none of your business.” You answer instead, narrowing your eyes at him a little. Whatever you did in your life, he didn't have to know. He doesn't have the right to know, not anymore. You may have been willing to offer him this one chance to ask something from you to help with whatever is going on, but that was all, and where your generosity ended. It wasn't a chance to reconnect, or to rebuild what never was, and still isn't.

If there's anything that this whole situation has told you, it's that you shouldn't have tried in the first place - and that maybe, just maybe, you should've left sooner. That was clear to you now.

“...” It's like Dick could tell things were getting worse this way. He didn't know what was causing it or how, but he could feel it. Especially with how you were growing increasingly upset, and how he was as well.

So, he tried to settle down a little and just took a breath. At this rate, he could only dread how things would get, and so he at least tried to change the direction of things a bit. Yet, he still couldn't help himself either. Maybe he didn't deserve to know, but he did want to ask.

“Look, just-” he tries to find the words to say, to not make this whole thing worse than it already is, and settles on a simpler question. One he figures you can handle, one he hopes does what he wants it to do. “Can you at least tell me why you keep ignoring me when I say that I'm here to see you? Or at least why you just… brush it off?” Dick manages to say, eyes never once leaving you, but for a different reason this time.

He just wants you to open up, but how could you do that when he kept you out for so long? When he locked that door so long ago, and forgot where he left the key? Leaving him to never know of the chair you left right under the handle.

“... What do you-”

“You know what I'm talking about, Y/n, just… please.” Dick almost pleads, which makes you uncomfortable. Causing you to press your lips into a thin line once again, “I don't want this to…” he doesn't want to say it outloud. He couldn't bring himself to. Especially when he doesn't want it to be true. To be made into reality.

“I just want to know, Y/n. So please, just tell me? Because I don't understand why you keep avoiding it, or just don't acknowledge it at all.” Dick says instead, which causes you to grow quiet in the process.

“...”

You couldn't think of anything to say, just being able to look at him before glancing away and taking in a breath of your own. You couldn't bring yourself to answer the question because - what were you supposed to say? What are you supposed to say? The truth? Or make up a lie? Though even if you picked one or the other, would it be for yourself? Or for Dick?

You didn't know, and a special kind of uncertainty came with that, jabbing your gut and making the flame within you crackle harshly. You hate this. You hate this more than what their inaction did to you, and almost as much as the realization that it's because of them that you're in this position to begin with.

“Why do you think?” You begin, emotions and thoughts swarming in your head and squeezing your heart. You want to not care, to brush it all off as you have before, but only find yourself hurting despite everything. Why does your chest hurt so much? Why did it feel like something was pressing against it, threatening to pierce it? “Why do you think that I'm ‘ignoring’ it or just… dismiss it?”

Dick hates how you look away, and the swirl of emotion he saw in your eyes when you looked at him before. Which only made his own emotions grow like a heavy weight, threatening to fall on him. To crush him, and only leave the tiniest parts of himself behind. Parts that still hung onto that false hope he made himself.

He knew, or at least had an idea, but he ignored it. Dick wants to hear it from you, even if he doesn't know what he's hoping for with that. He knows of his faults, and yet not the entirety of them - at least, that was the impression he was getting from all of this.

He isn't blind, but there are only so many things he could let himself see before the ugliness of it all rears its head at him, and snarls. Before the quiet part that he refuses to glance at, becomes loud.

“I… I don't know,” Dick manages to say after a moment, still looking at you as he searches for something, anything that will point things in a different direction. Something that will give the little hope he has anything to cling on to.

Something he doesn't find.

He takes in another breath, “Can you please just… tell me? I do want to know, I really do- so just, please. Tell me why you keep ignoring what I'm saying?”

“I'm not-” You cut yourself off, speaking before you could come up with a response, the words tumbling out of your mouth quickly before you caught yourself and take in a slow, uneven breath. “I'm not ignoring what you're saying. I'm not, but- just…” You drag on before finally letting out a sigh. Some of the tension freeing itself from your body, but not enough for it to let you truly calm down or relax.

“What do you expect me to do? To say?” You finally manage to voice it outloud, to ask as you look back at Dick briefly. With the moon trying its hardest to peek through the clouds as they begin to fill and crowd the sky. “You haven't checked up on me in all the years I was in the manor, and, hell, I doubt you even know where my room is-”

“I know where it is.”

“- and even if you do, that doesn't change what happened. Or, really, what didn't.” You narrow your eyes at Dick's sudden words, but don't comment on them as you continue, voice wavering slightly, “You've… never checked up on me before, or even asked me if I was okay- we barely even greeted each other, and I didn't see you around all that often. I didn't get to. So I'm sorry if it's hard for me to believe that you just suddenly care, or want to check up on me after all this time.” You say, still biting your tongue and holding yourself back from sharing more than you should. From giving more than you already have.

“...” Dick's lips press into a thin line before he goes to speak again, “I understand that, but… why can't that change now? Why can't I care about you now?”

“It isn't about what you can and can't do, Dick. Nor what can be changed now or not, it's…” A quick, small groan escapes you as you try to gather the words you want to say, and finally let them out when you do, “it's what I'm used to, Dick. That's just how it is.”

Finally, dread made its way into Dick’s heart as well, “So… that's it? You're just ‘used to it’? And I can't change that?”

“I don’t know, can you?” You asked sarcastically in a dead tone, already tired of all of this, and yet the fire in your chest continues to burn ever so brightly. “You haven’t really done a good job of that thus far, if that's what you’re trying to do. I’ll say that much.” Your words hurt, you could tell right away. The way he looked at you said everything, but you didn’t try to look deeper than what presented itself on the surface.

“This isn’t some kind of…. ‘reconnecting session’, stuff like that doesn’t really matter. I thought something serious- something important was going on, or had happened, that’s why I bothered with… all of this.” You point out and explain, only watching as the expression on Dick’s face morphed into something else. Something you couldn’t decipher, but didn’t like looking at. A face that made your stomach twist, with dread pouring out of every crevasse it could manage.

“And why would you think that? I don’t remember saying anything that would hint at that, and even then I would’ve said it outright.”

“You suddenly appeared at my door in the suit, and at some point was banging on it. How could I not think something was going on? Or that you didn’t need something from me? That something serious wasn’t happening? Especially when I don’t remember telling any of you where I live-”

“Okay, okay. I… I get it,” He didn’t, at least maybe not to the extent one would hope he would, but he didn’t want to argue. Not here, and not with you. Especially not when he was really beginning to see you. “But still… I want to change that. I want to make it up to you and fix things. Is that so bad?”

“...” You had no response to that, but even if you did, what could you say? You had imagined countless instances like this, but those situations weren’t real — this one was. In those scenarios, you always had something to say, rather it be good or bad, and you always knew what to do. Yet here, now that it was actually happening, you had nothing. You didn’t know what to do or say, and even if you did have some things you wanted to just let spill out, you kept them in. You didn’t want things to get worse either, but the more Dick talked, the harder that became.

Why couldn’t he just be the person from your thoughts and dreams? The person you always saw him as until now?

“I just…” Dick tries to gather his thoughts, not exactly liking your silence but trying to push on anyway. He finally had a chance, and he’d be damned to not take it. “I want to make things right, and yeah, maybe it's late- really, um, late, but I still want to try.” He manages to say, taking a small, quick breath before he continues, an easy smile trying to settle on his face.

“You deserve better, and I want to be better for you. Things may not be the same, and sure, it might be a bit awkward-” He chuckles slightly in between his words, “-but I think that we can… work it out if you just give it a try. Give me a chance-”

“But I did.” You manage to say, cutting Dick off. He has to fight for his smile to not falter immediately, unaware of how your heart pounded harshly in your chest, the fire it held growing and clawing at the bars of its cage that was your ribs and flesh. Scorching your lungs, and the smoke causing your throat to close, making it harder to breathe.

“... What?” Dick said, partially confused but still trying to at least seem optimistic. A weight of its own beginning to press down on him.

“... What do you think I did all of this time?” You ask, looking away for a moment, glancing up at the covered moon before looking back at Dick, “What do you think I did all of those years I spent at the manor? Before I decided to move out, and be on my own?”

“...” Dick didn’t have an answer, not one he said right away, anyway. Not one that wouldn’t make him look bad, but he didn’t know what was worse. Staying quiet when he knew a part of it, or saying the part he knew and risk being wrong, revealing how he still didn’t know the full picture despite everything. Despite getting a glance into a life he knew he wasn’t involved in, and feeling more guilty all the while.

However, you decide that his small bit of silence was enough of an answer, and just as Dick opened his mouth to say something, you spoke again. “Most of my time in the manor I’ve spent trying to give you chances- to give the others a chance. Trying to give opportunities to just do something, try anything, and… well,” You look away fully this time, caressing the coffee cup in your hand, it’s dying warm doing little to help you, causing you to draw your attention to the shaded greenery of the park instead.

“We both know how that turned out.”

If your words didn’t hurt him before, they definitely did now. Even as Dick fought to keep that smile of his up, it was pointless. You were right, and he knew that. Even if he didn’t know the true extent of your words, he was at least aware of the times where you’d try to get them to see you perform, to hear your songs and listen to your music that had gotten you this far. He knew that much, and yet he still couldn’t help but try. He wants to mean more to you, to do what he hasn’t done up until this point, to truly be your older brother, to be your family - despite how long he’s been unable to do that.

“I… I know, and I’m sorry.” Dick could only say that much, even if it did little in the long run, and a part of himself could tell that his words only made whatever you were feeling worse as you inched away from him, the sight of the small action breaking his heart even more.

“Maybe that doesn’t mean much, but it’s true. I’m just… sorry that things turned out this way. That we- that I never noticed how hard you were trying until now, and even if it is late, I want to be honest and say that I’m sorry.” He adds, finally managing to look away as well as he looked down at the cup in his hands, thoughts swarming and eating away at his heart. Even if they were going too fast for him to process them all, they hurt him all the same and caused his worry to grow. “I’m sorry for everything, for never noticing what was going on or the extent of it, or appreciating the effort you tried to put in for our attention, for just not… being around. You deserve better- and I want to give that. I want to give you want you deserve and finally be-”

“Stop.” You said under your breath, voice wavering as you take in a shaky breath. Yet, even as it falls upon deaf ears, and Dick couldn’t make out exactly what you said, he still pauses for a moment before speaking again.

“... I just want to fix things, Y/n.” Dick says instead, but it doesn’t make you feel any better, nothing does.

“You mean a lot to me.” You just want him to stop.

“And maybe that’s… weird to hear with everything that’s happened. But it is true, and I’m sorry I never made that clear before.” You want him to stop lying to you, to stop trying to make you feel better. You’ve been doing fine on your own without him, without them, and so the only thing you wanted now was for Dick to stop and leave. To act like he had before, and go back to ignoring you.

“So… let’s change that, okay? I… I want to spend more time with you.” You want him to shut up. You want it so bad that it hurts to hear him talk as he goes on and on. His voice ringing in your ears to a point you’re convinced that they’ll bleed if this continues on for any longer. If he continues to talk for any longer.

“I’m being honest, I really want to try and be your-”

“Stop… please, just- just stop.” You manage to say, voice small and wavering as you try to take in another breath. You want to be unbothered, unhurt, painless, and numb, but you can’t and you don’t know why. You thought you had gotten used to this, and you had, but to hear that - to hear the words you’ve wanted to hear for so many years - that hurt more than anything else. The pain was indescribable, and its result only made that fire grow, the flames scratching at your chest even harder, and your heart bleeding as a result.

Suddenly, all the progress you’ve made over all the months you’ve been away feel useless now. Reduced to nothing in Dick’s presence as his words stripped down your walls in the most violent, volatile ways possible.

Once upon a time, you fought to have a single conversation with him that lasted more than just a few short exchanges, and now you’d do anything to have that back. For him to go back to the Dick you grew up with, the one you fought to even have to look at you for more than a few seconds.

“You can’t do this to me.” You said without thinking, voice weak and shaky as you scramble to keep yourself together, to hold back tears that you refuse to spill – refusing to shed any more over them. Refusing to let all of your progress go to waste just like that.

You were happy, you have been happy these past few months, and you refuse for that to be taken away from you.

“What? Y/n, what do you mean-” Dick tries to speak, but you don’t give him the luxury, not after this. Not after what he’s been doing to you.

“You can’t do this to me,” You repeat, trying to breathe and fight past the smoke building in your lungs, nearly gasping for air as your teeth begin to grind, “you can’t- you just can’t. So stop… please just..” You try to take in another breath, no matter how small it is or strangled it feels.

“Just. Stop.”

“...” It’s like no matter what Dick tries to do, things end up becoming worse, and he hates that he doesn’t know why. He can't understand why.

Clearly he’s hurting you, he could see that no matter how much he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t know what he’s saying that’s hurting you. He doesn’t know what he’s doing that’s causing you to become so upset.

After all, don’t you want this? Don’t you want him to try? For your efforts to be reciprocated? Don’t you want to be family too? For him to try and be what he’s supposed to have been all of this time? Don’t you want him to try and be your big brother?

You couldn’t have given up yet, right? There was no way you could have. You couldn’t have given up after all you have done, after all the awards and such he saw that you’ve earned over the years – awards that were still in your room. You couldn’t have given up. That's impossible, there’s no way. No one would throw all of that away, right? No one would do all that you have, only to just put it all behind them - not anyone that Dick could think of at the moment.

… He hated how he thought of it anyway. How the thought creeped into his mind, and remained there. Letting his dread and worry grow as reality began to sneak its way into his brain.

Dick doesn’t want to think about it – let along consider the idea, but this isn’t about him. This isn’t about what he thinks or feels.

This is about you, and despite his words, he hates that he had forgotten that already.

“Y/n,” He calls out to you softly, really trying this time, and you hate that detail with all of your heart, “can you just please tell me what’s wrong?” Dick’s words make you physically pause, even causing your rushing thoughts to come to a halt. They repeat in your head once more, and you can only think one thing.

Is he seriously asking you that?

“I know that you’re upset, but I want to work through this with you. So, just tell me so I can help, okay-?”

“Stop- God, just please stop, Dick.” You manage to say, already getting slightly choked up before you manage to shakily exhale, trying your hardest to keep it together as your heart squeezes and your chest tightens. You can’t bring yourself to look at Dick, but your teeth grind as you scramble to keep the flames eating up your body from the inside, trapped and hidden away.

“You can’t do this to me,” You say more desperately than you wanted to, a few tears developing that you fight back violently to keep them from spilling, your own teeth getting crushed and feel as if they were beginning to chip and break with how hard they’re grinding against each other. “You can’t- you can’t-” You struggle to get the words out, nearly gasping for air as that sickening, thick smoke threatens to escape your lungs.

“You can’t do this to me, you can’t give me hope.” You finally say, voice straining as your breath trembles. When you finally do look at Dick, neither of your expressions are good ones. Both filled with mixes of emotions, but his was more deep and almost controlled, while yours was frantic and ever changing.

“... What?”

“After all of this time, after everything- everything I’ve been put through. Everything I’ve been trying to move on from-” You struggle to breathe momentarily, but manage to get yet another gasp of air before continuing, “you can’t just try and give me hope like that. You can’t. You just- can’t.”

Now it’s Dick’s turn to pause as he processes what you said, each word making the weight in his chest sink deeper and deeper until it reaches his stomach. The very thing he seems to dread is becoming more real with every minute that passes and he hates that more than anything. He wants to ignore it, to push past it, but how can he do that when it’s right in front of him? How can he do that when something worse could be laying underneath everything?

He doesn’t want to think about it, and so he doesn’t and tries to tuck it away as he goes on to say, “But… why? Why can’t I give that to you? Why can’t I try to help you?”

“Dick, please, for the love of god just-” You want to say it, you really do, but manage to hold yourself back with the little self control you have, and simply just take in the biggest breath you can manage, and sigh just as deeply. “Nevermind, and just- you know what? We’re… we’re done here.” You say instead. Placing your coffee cup on the bench, not even caring that you barely finished the drink, and move to stand up.

“What? Wait- what?” Dick asks, sitting up and tensing when you stand, but not making a move just yet, even if it was clear that he’d do something. What, you don’t know, but you didn’t notice anyway as you were too focused on yourself and getting out of this situation.

“We’re done here, what else do I have to say?” You don’t look back at Dick, instead continue to try and steady your breath. Trying to calm yourself down, and finally do something to quell the burning flames inside your chest, “This isn’t going anywhere, and we aren’t discussing anything important, so… let’s call it here. I’m leaving.” You say outright, being blunt this time as you make a move to step away-

Only to be stopped when Dick suddenly grabs your wrist, his grasp a touch too tight.

“Hold on- who said you get to decide that?” Dick asks, having sprung up to grab you as swiftly and quickly as he did, a flash of panic showing on his face before he pushed it aside and swallowed his nerves. He tries to manage another smile, even if it doesn’t reach his eyes yet again, “Let’s just talk about this, okay? There’s no need to overreact.”

“Overreact…?” You glance back at him, physically feeling as all of your previous progress to calm yourself was quickly diminishing, the fire only roaring to life at Dick’s words, and it’s like he could feel it too with how his smile faltered the smallest bit before he tried to pick it up again.

“Okay- maybe not overreact, but we can still talk about this… can’t we?” He says instead, as if realizing his mistake once you point it out. Scrambling for something, anything.

You don’t say anything right away, your chest only hurting even more, “And talk about what, exactly?” You ask, just barely being able to hear the clouds overhead groan in displeasure, “What is there to talk about? We have nothing to discuss, and so we should just end things here.”

An airy laugh escapes Dick, almost as he can’t believe what you’re saying, and yet he continues to stare at you. All he does is raise a brow, his heart pounding as that weight in his stomach drops further, “About… everything?” He says, as if a little unsure of how to word it, but keeps going anyway, “About the family, about us, about you- everything! What isn’t there to talk about?” He counters, furrowing his brows a little.

He knows you want to leave, but he can’t bring himself to let you go. Not when he doesn’t know when he’ll have this chance again. Not when he’s so close – but to what, he doesn’t know anymore. All he knows is that it deals with you, and that’s enough for him.

“... But there isn’t anything important to talk about.” You point out as if it was obvious, raising a brow of your own as you look back at Dick, ignoring how the longer Dick held onto your wrist, the heavier your dread became. Nearly making it impossible to breathe despite how you were trying to act now, “Again, I even bothered to do any of this because I thought something was going on or that you needed something from me, and I turned out to be wrong, so there’s no other reason for me to be here.” You try to be logical, or seem that way, anyway. You try to give whatever bullshit reason you can, saying anything that you hope would just get Dick away from you and just let you go.

“...” Dick hated your words with a burning passion he didn’t even know he was capable of feeling, and the breathy laugh of disbelief that escaped him only furthered his own change of heart, “So I’m not important to you? Our family isn’t important to you? Because of everything that’s happened? So our effort to change everything isn’t important to you? It matters that little to you now that you’ve lived on your own for… what, a few months?”

“What are you talking about? You’re asking me that as if you know me, and- news flash, you don’t. So get a hold of yourself- and let me go already!” You yank your wrist away from Dick’s grasp, pulling it back towards you harshly.

The moment your wrist leaves his grasp, his hand twitches, but he manages to hold himself back and just let his hand fold into a fist as it falls back to his side. His eyes pinned on you once again, never leaving you, “Why can’t I get to know you now? Why can’t that change, Y/n?” He asks, his own tone changing without him noticing, making it sharper than he meant it to be, “Why can’t you just let me in?”

The visceral hatred those words spawn in you is hotter than words can describe, and felt as if it was burning right through your chest, melting your muscles and organs down to nothing. You not only struggled to breathe, but it hurt to even take in the smallest breath. “‘Why’…? You’re asking me, ‘why’?” A small, airy, pathetic laugh escapes you, a look of disbelief clear on your face.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the years that have passed? That every attempt I’ve made to do what you’re asking me right now- was ignored until I didn’t try anymore? Until I go off and try to actually live my life, that you ask for me to let you in? For things to change?” You almost spat out, barely managing to take in a steady breath, “I don’t know, Dick. I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Dick could barely pull himself together. Everything was falling apart, and even if he could see that, he could barely get a grasp on his own emotions that he was failing to calm down. He wants you to understand, and he wants to understand you too, but god was everything making it so hard. He just couldn’t understand why you were being so stubborn about this, and why you wouldn’t just hear him out.

So, in the midst of his own frustration, he tsked and spoke without thinking.

“I haven’t done anything to you! Why are you acting like this?” The moment those words left Dick, his eyes widened and he scrambled to recover, “Wait, I didn’t mean-”

“Isn’t that the point?” You cut Dick off, the smoke finally escaping your lungs as you furrowed your brows, chest tightening as more unwanted tears began to build, “That you did nothing? That you- and everyone else didn’t do a goddamn thing?”

“You try to act like I owe you something. Like I owe you this. Like I owe you my time, but you know what? You really don’t, because back then? I clearly didn’t deserve yours. I wasn’t worth your time, and now, years later, you think that I owe you mine? That you can just say whatever the hell you want to my face, because I dared to try and be respectful and civil and do all of this shit for you?” There was no holding back anymore, not when Dick dared to say something like that to your face when you’ve been trying so hard to act calm and civil around him. To give him a chance to say his piece and leave.

The one time you tried to do something for them, for him, after months of being away from all of them, and he dared to say something like that to you?

“Then think again. Because unlike before, I have some god damn self respect and won’t stand for your bullshit anymore.” You spat out as the sky above growled even louder, “You don’t get to say that to me, Grayson.”

Yet, despite your words, a single measly tear manages to slip past your defenses and slowly, painstakingly roll down your cheek. The clouds above seem to have taken that as some sort of sign, as a few small drops of water fell from the sky and hit the pavement under your feet.

Dick pauses after that, if only for a moment as he looks over your expression before sighing. “Okay- fine, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… but,” he took a short breath before saying, “that still doesn’t answer my question, Y/n.”

“...” All you could do was stare at him. Another pathetic, airy laugh escaping you all the while. He really was unbelievable.

“Which one? The one where you asked why things can’t change? Why I won’t ‘let you in’? Or why I’m ‘acting like this’?” Dick clenches his hands into fists, squeezing them before he lets go.

“Why can’t things change, why can’t the relationship between us change?” You hate the tone he used and how the look he gave you expressed and showed more than words could describe. A certain desperation in his eyes that you wish didn’t exist, that you didn’t notice.

“You never showed me that it could change. That it would always stay the same as it has for the past few years-”

“But why does back then matter? Why can’t we focus on now? On this?” He gestured between the two of you, “Can’t we just- I don’t know… move on from that?” You didn’t know if you wanted to laugh, or actually allow yourself to cry, especially when a few more raindrops fell from the sky. He couldn’t be serious, could he? Did Dick actually just say that, and to you of all people?

“Move on?” You say, a few more tears spilling despite your efforts to stop them, their touch burning your skin and sinking into it like acid, “You want me to move on from that? Move on from the years of my life that you weren’t a part of? To just forget all that’s happened?”

“You don’t have to forget… maybe just, push it aside so that we can work on this! On us…” Dick says, dragging on a little before he takes in another quick breath, “Is that so bad? Don’t you want to be family-?”

“You don’t get to say that to me.” You immediately cut him off the moment Dick even tries to mention family again, “You don’t get to say what I want or what I have to do- after everything I’ve done for you! For the others-! You don’t get to say that to me anymore!”

“Y/n, please, just calm down-”

“No! You don’t get to do this to me! To say all of this shit to my face-” You struggle to speak, your words catching in your throat and nearly choking you, but you manage to continue. To continue to say your part, and finally say the words your heart has been longing to say, to give yourself this much, to finally feel this out, “Do you even know how much I’ve done for you- all of you? How much time I spent doing all of these things I thought you guys liked just so that I had a chance to hold a conversation with any of you? To just mean something? To actually be part of the family, only for no one to show up-?”

“No one asked you to do those things! No one asked you to do anything!” Dick snaps, but immediately tries to reel it back, “I understand that things didn’t work out before, but I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Your brows furrow even more, and your teeth grind so hard that it feels like they’re chipping away, “No one had to ask! Hell- none of you ended up caring anyway! It was a waste!” You shout, voice raising the more you talked, tears mixing with the drizzling rain, “It was for you- I did everything I could think of to just talk to you, and now you want me to do more for you? After everything I’ve already done? After all the effort that was put to waste because of you?” At this rate, you knew you weren’t talking to just Dick anymore. Instead, he acted as an extension, in your mind. An extension to something bigger, something greater than himself. Something more than he was.

Dick falters, but just sighs again, “No one told you to do all of that,Y/n]. You didn’t have to do anything but just try to-”

“Try to what, Grayson? Try to what?” You cut him off, eyes swirling with untold emotion as your gaze pierces into him, “Go on, tell me what else I had to do. What I should’ve done.”

“...” Dick looks at you for a moment before speaking again with a small huff, “You could’ve tried a different approach, or maybe, talked to us?”

“...” You don’t know what you want to do more; try to strangle Dick, cry harder, or leave again after trying to kill him. “You did not just say that.” You manage to laugh out, but it’s broken and far from genuine. The humor in it long gone, and all that was left was a sickening, uncomfortable emptiness where it once remained.

“Well, I’m just saying-”

“You did not just say that shit to me when you’ve been the one shooting down every conversation I’ve tried to have with you. You- the person who’s supposed to be the ‘family man’, and we’ve barely even talked. And let me tell you now, I’m not the one who hasn’t been trying to talk or avoiding it.” A pained smile crept up your face as you laughed breathlessly in between your words once more. Not even caring anymore as you let the fire burst from your chest, and have its ashes and smoke spill out of you.

Dick narrows his eyes and furrows his brows a bit, “‘Avoiding it’? What the hell are you talking about? I haven’t been avoiding you-”

“Then please explain where the hell you’ve been all of my life until now? Why you could never follow through with what you’d always tell me? Why you come to me now, when I gave you years to do or say anything?”

“I… I was busy, okay? You know that,” He tried to lighten his tone with a chuckle but it did little to help, and only showed his own strain, “I don’t always have time to come to Gotham-”

“But you make the time to do it anyway. You make time to visit, especially when it comes to Damian.” When Dick falls silent again for a moment, you take in a shaky breath and sniffle slightly, feeling awful in every sense of the word, “I guess I just wasn’t worth it, right? I wasn’t worthy of your oh so precious time, but everyone else was. Something else was.” Your expression darkens slightly as your strained smile drops completely.

“There’s always something else, right? Something else to do, someone else to see. You could make time, alright, but just couldn’t for me.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Y/n.”

“Then please, enlighten me, what are you saying, Grayson?” Dick hates every time you say that, every time you refer to him by his last name. It feels like there's a deeper meaning to it that he refuses to see, and just hearing you call him that instead of anything else only forces him to remember that. To remind him of his own faults, both past and present.

Maybe he'd wonder how he keeps messing things up or why he keeps saying everything besides what he actually wants to say, but he's too deep in his own feelings to even think about that. Even if the answer laid within the action itself.

“Saving the city- having to look after Bludhaven and Gotham sometimes, and even the world on occasion- doesn't really give anyone a lot of time to do certain things. You know I'm not over all the time, and that I'm not always… y'know.”

“Dick Grayson?”

“Yeah! And just…” he took a breath before sighing once again, “All I'm saying is that a different approach could've been taken.” You hate how every word he said only seemed to validate concerns you had in the past. Thoughts that still liked to linger every now and then when you caught yourself still thinking about what could've been, and if certain things happened, would that really change anything?

It's funny that only now were you truly beginning to think otherwise.

“So… what?” You say in a dry voice, “Are you saying that I should’ve been just like you? Just like the others- and give up my dream, what I wanted to do- give up my passion, because at least then I would be able to talk to you? Because I would have a higher chance of even seeing you?”

“That's not what I mean, Y/n, and you know that-”

“No. No I don't. I don't know that, and honestly? I have no idea what the hell you’re even trying to tell me right now besides that I should’ve tried harder. That I didn't do enough, because clearly- spending all of my time trying to do things for you, to accommodate for the whole fucking family that couldn't even stand for me to be in their presence for even a few seconds-” You took a shaky breath, more tears spilling out and escaping you, more falling than you would've liked, “that's not enough. Wasting my life away and trying to do everything I could to the point where it put my health at risk- that wasn't enough. I should’ve just dropped everything and followed everyone else instead of trying to find an alternative, because there was no alternative, right? Is that what you're trying to say?”

For once, Dick was speechless and had nothing to say, and his silence only made you hurt more. It's like you were waiting for what felt like the inevitable.

“What else am I supposed to do, huh? What else haven't I done? Is nothing else good enough for you? Is that really the only way I could've been with you? To see you, to actually talk with you and all the others? To be part of the family? Is that what it would've taken?” You're nearly gasping for air at this rate, with every word you say only carving deeper into your heart, and getting harder to say as you struggle to voice them aloud. Nearly choking on both your words and tears, and yet you push on.

“Did I really have to give up on my passion- my dreams to have a better chance to be something to you?”

“Y/n, that's not what I mean. Doing it wouldn't have gotten in the way-”

“You know that's bullshit! You act like the line of work you do doesn't take over your life! Like you don't think about it everyday- like you aren't constantly in danger!” At this point you're shouting and you barely even realize it, tears flowing freely now as they burn into your cheeks and crash down on the pavement below, “Is it so bad that I don't want that? That I don't want to put my life at risk? That I don't want to live your life?!”

“Maybe you enjoy that. Maybe you like that chaos and constantly putting your life on the line- but some people don't! Maybe you're made for that kind of life, but I'm not! I want to live my own life without having to be even more worried about my own well-being and safety!”

“Y/n, please- calm down! I don't want to fight, I-” Dick took a quick breath, his own heart squeezing as he tries to remain stable, to remain calm. Even if it felt like he was watching his whole world crumble before him, each tear you shed stabbing into him, and every word that spilled out just twisted the knives as they dug deeper into his chest and body. “I understand what you mean, but you have to realize-”

“Realize what? That everything I did was for nothing?” Thinking it was one thing, but saying it out loud was another. The words weighed heavy on your tongue, and the more you tried to say them the more choked up you became. “That all of my effort was in vain, and I should’ve given up while I was ahead? Because that's the impression I'm getting right now-”

“That's not what I meant, Y/n. I… I didn't mean it like that.”

“But how else could you have possibly meant it? How else am I supposed to interpret that?” You laughed again, but it was just as sad and pathetic as the last, “You can't expect me to just know these things, Grayson, especially considering everything and just-” You felt like you were going to tear your hair out, like you were going to collapse and truly break. Yet you managed to stand, and speak again no matter how weak your voice is.

“You were never there for me, none of you were.” Your hands are shaking and your face burns, voice cracking in every way possible, and you hate this feeling. Yet above all else, you hate how he made you feel like this, “I could show up at the manor, bloodied and bruised, and no one- no one would notice or bat an eye. I could be wearing a cast and have crutches, and yet not a single person besides Alfred would see it or comment on it. I could be at the hospital and no one would show up, not one of you-”

“Wait… what-?” Dick tried to speak, but you wouldn’t let him, you couldn’t.

“You were never there when I needed you. You never checked up on me, you barely even noticed me-” again, you suck in another breath, barely able to take it in, “do you know what I’ve had to deal with on my own? How much it cost me? How much it hurt me-?”

“Wait, wait- hold on! You’ve been hurt?” Dick managed to cut you off, “I… I never heard about this.”

“Of course you haven't!” You couldn't help but laugh, more tears spilling and leaving scars on your face with how badly they burned into your skin, “You hardly even noticed, how can you expect to hear about it?”

“You didn't tell me- you didn't tell anyone! How- how am I supposed to know about these things when you won't even tell anyone? When you won't tell me?” Dick can feel himself begin to tear up, but he keeps it all down. He was frustrated, and even if it wasn't directed towards you, he couldn't keep his big mouth shut. Even if by the looks of things - you couldn't either, even if that was for a different reason.

Maybe you both were one in the same, but different in some ways. Dick would feel stupid if he noticed it, but of course he couldn't — not at the moment. Not with how things are going.

If only he noticed that sooner. If only he had done a lot of things sooner – then both of you wouldn't be in this position. You wouldn't be in this position.

Yet, he couldn't help himself. Both of you couldn't, in a way.

“I can't read your mind, Y/n! I'm not even at the manor half the time- how am I supposed to notice? You can't just expect me to suddenly know-”

“But you visit enough for the others? For any one of them you'd come rushing over, especially if it was for Damian-”

“At least he tells me when he gets hurt!”

“Are we talking about the same kid right now? God, and here I thought that he was your favorite.”

“‘Favorite’?” Dick chuckled out humorlessly, feeling something in him break at your words. “I don't have any favorites-”

“That is such bullshit, Grayson, and you fucking know that.” You couldn't help but sneer, everything you tried to keep inside finally rearing its ugly head as the lid you tried to put on your emotions flew off, leaving you feeling nothing but unapologetic rage. “You play favorites all the time, but I wouldn't know that, would I? I'm probably your least-”

“Don't say that. You're not. You never were.”

“Right! Yeah, you're right. After all, I'm not even on the list, am I? How can I be the least when you barely even acknowledge me-?”

“I didn't-” Dick just cuts himself off, sighing before he continues, not being able to stop the scoff that slips past, “I didn't mean it like that. You're important to me, Y/n, how many times do I have to say that? It's like you're trying to put words in my mouth at this rate.”

“Well, excuse me for not believing you considering that, oh, I don't know, I've been ignored by you for years? That-”

“‘Ignored’? I haven’t been ignoring you, no one has-”

“Really? Are you really trying to say that now-?”

“I understand that you're frustrated, okay? That you have all the reason to be mad- but no one has ignored you. I haven't ignored you-”

“BULLSHIT! That is bull-SHIT!” You scream before you even notice the words had left your mouth in the first place, “You would have said that before it that was the case! And even then- how the hell do you explain this entire shit show? How do you even dare to try and explain where the fuck ANY of you have been?! Because people can only be so ignorant and stupid until others begin to think it's intentional and you're doing it on god-damn purpose-!” Broken, harsh chuckles escape you - slipping in between your piercing words, ones so rough and dry that it scratches your throat just to let them out. The disbelief was heavy in each and every one of them, utterly devoid of any humor, and yet they were so unbelievably empty simultaneously.

You could feel your heart breaking even more, but you weren't the only one. Not that it mattered, as with each piece that was chipped off, you could only register the little sounds of you coming apart. Everything else was muffled, and almost completely blocked out. With your only focus being on him, on them.

“Just because something looks a certain way, doesn't mean that it's really like that. I told you, it isn't that easy. Like I said before- I haven't been avoiding you, let alone ignoring you! I wasn't trying to do anything like that-”

“It doesn't matter what you tried! What you're trying to do! Don't you see? What matters is what it felt like to me-”

“But you won’t let me change that! You won't let me try and change things- it’s like you want it to remain the same-!”

“YOU DON'T GET TO SAY WHAT I WANT! NOT AFTER THIS- NOT AFTER EVERYTHING! You don’t get to say shit like that- you don't know me! You don't know what I've been through-! So stop talking like you understand me!”

“But you won't let me in! You won't give me the chance to understand! How can I expect to know anything when you're giving me nothing to work with?!”

“How about you take a fucking hint, Grayson. Can't you read the room?! You're a cop for crying out loud! And was trained by the best detective the world has to offer- so it's not my fault you're acting like you're stupid!”

“You're not another case, Y/n! You're family, you’re my sibling! Not something that needs to be solved! Is it really so hard to just tell me anything and not push me away when I'm right here?!”

Your words catch in your throat momentarily, but you try to push past that and force something out, not caring if it was made of broken glass or venom. Yet, just as you go to speak, and the first letter escapes your lips – Dick finally breaks too.

“SHUT UP! Just Shut. Up. And ACTUALLY listen to me for one second! Please! For the love of-” Dick can't help but scoff, running a hand down his face, and covering his mouth with it. Looking away as he does so, brows furrowing.

He wants to say something, think of anything that he wants you to hear and understand clearly - but nothing comes to mind. Nothing you'd truly hear him out on, anyway. Nothing he's already mentioned to you. Nothing that would make this better. Even as he goes to try and say something, all that comes out is a mess of half finished words that he can't make comprehensible, especially not in a way that'll have you listen to him where you won't try to bite at him again.

So, he falls silent. You both do.

Your eyes widening at the sudden shout, before your gaze hardens and you glare at Dick through your tears and agony. His silence makes you angrier, but his loud response does shut you up momentarily.

“Well– fine, if you want me to be quiet so badly, then I'm leaving.” You manage to say after a moment, voice wavering and becoming weaker — now spent thanks to how you've been using it up until this point.

Still, your words immediately snap Dick out of whatever trance he was in, and cause his head to snap back in your direction, with his eyes locking onto you once again – though they widen a little before he tries to calm down, and take in one last breath. He scrambles to say anything, especially as he sees you turn to leave, and see your words through.

“W-wait, hold on, I-” he presses his lips into a thin line, thinking briefly before continuing, “Can I at least walk you home? It isn't safe-”

You pause in your movements, “No. Just-” you don't look back, you can't bring yourself to, but you do just barely glance over your shoulder – though not enough to actually see him again. Dick can't see your eyes anymore, but he can still see the tears streaming down your face. “Just leave me alone. All of you.”

Dick tries to reach out, to stop you one last time – but he hesitates, and just lets his hand fall back to his side. Instead, opting to watch you leave while he stands there, left hurt and alone. His eyes eventually find and land on the coffee you had left behind on the bench, and he finds himself staring at that once you're out of sight.

He has to hold back from running after you, and following - if only to just make sure that you'd reach your apartment in one piece - but he manages. It's the least he could do, after all, and besides, he doubts he'd be able to do that without making you hate him even more. He's gathered as much from all of this, and really - from the looks of things, he had a lot more to consider than he had originally thought. All of them did.

… It's only as you walk away and the distance between you and Dick grows bigger, with both of your words beginning to settle - that you both notice the clouds once light cries have turned into ugly sobs, with each tear being shed heavier than the last, thunder roaring and echoing in the distance, lightning striking the earth with a deafening clap. It was only then that both of you even noticed that the light drizzle from before had turned into pouring rain, and that there was more than just the two of you in the world. Something that felt heavier than it should’ve, but felt appropriate at the same time.

Regardless, you continue to walk away, and once again, never look back as you commit to your decision no matter what may happen afterwards, or the consequences that may follow. Just like that one day back in the manor, you move on and go on with your choice, just knowing what you want in that moment and seeing no reason to deny yourself — especially when you want the same thing you wanted that night, when you just want to get away. You don’t know what happened tonight, but all you knew is that you didn’t want to be a part of it anymore, so you just left, and maybe you would’ve felt a little grateful that Dick let you go if you had noticed to begin with – since your mind was more focused on just putting as much distance between you and him as possible.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and it’s only then that you remember that you still had it on you – not that you knew why you’d leave it anywhere or forget it, but it’s something you noticed nonetheless. You fish it out of your pocket as you walk, and wipe some of your tears away with the back of your hand, sniffling lightly as you check the notification. Jessica had left you a voicemail – several, actually. You couldn’t imagine why, but you didn’t try very hard to think of a reason, and instead just opened your phone to listen to it.

[“Hey, hun’, it’s been a while, you okay? If you don’t call in the next twelve hours or so then I’m calling the police- even if most of them are useless as hell, I know more of them will look, since they know who you are and all that. But I swear if that asshole did anything to you then he’s got another thing coming, and I know you don’t like to fight, but please, for the love of god, just sucker punch that creep in the face if you have to. He looks like he could use one, and an extra hard one at that.” She takes a moment to sigh, clearly frustrated - which her tone made very clear - but you could sense a little worry, “But, seriously. Just get back to me when you can, and you better be safe, alright? Listen to my other voice message if you haven’t already, talk to you soon, bye.”]

Just hearing Jessica’s voice made you feel a bit better, and some of what she said got a little laugh out of you. She always tried to look after you, and with what just happened – you couldn’t be more grateful for it.

So, you did as told, and listened to the other voice message she had left you, curious as to what she had wanted you to know about.

[“Hey, it’s Jess, darlin’. I hope you’re not still with that guy, but if you are then just remember what I told you, okay? Well, anyway, Cece came by, and is waiting for you in the diner, and barely awake at that. So just come by and pick them up, since- well, I’d send ‘em home on their own but honestly I doubt they’d be able to make it there themselves. I’m a little surprised they were even able to reach this place- but you get the jist. Come by, but if you’re still with that guy? I can wait, just hurry up because a girl’s gotta get her beauty sleep. See you, bye.”]

… Oh, well, guess you had to make a stop on your way home, then. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in your bed and just sleep, but it’s not like the walk to the diner was long anyway, and besides, it was on the way back to your apartment, so you couldn’t really complain.

With that, you made a turn and headed towards the diner. Still processing and taking in everything as you do so — but when you feel more tears begin to well up, you push it to the side, and tell yourself that you’ll handle it later. No matter how short or long that interaction was, it drained you, and you desperately needed rest. Maybe it wasn’t the most healthy decision to make, but you couldn’t handle doing anything else right now, so it’d have to wait. Besides, with how tonight went, you definitely didn’t want to think about Dick and the others at the moment – they didn’t deserve it, anyway.

Thankfully, you reached the diner in no time, and it’s only when Jessica stops you at the door do you even realize that your soaked… which makes sense but you feel a little embarrassed when she points it out nonetheless, and says how she loves you but doesn’t want to have to clean the floor again when her shift has been over for about a half hour. Cece was sitting at the counter, and perks up when you enter, giving a sleepy smile before standing up and making their way over to you. Both of you thank Jessica as you take your leave – but not before you wish her a good night and say your usual goodbyes, even if she does make a point about how you and her will talk later. Hell, she even sneaks in how you almost looked like her after her breakup with Michael which… ouch, you can only imagine how awful you really look if that was the case – but it also only fully confirmed that you were talking to her about what happened no matter what.

Still, you were grateful that she left it at that, and didn’t pry anymore as she finally let you and Cece go home. The walk to the apartment – or, rather, the short run there – since you and Cece ended up sharing their jacket as cover from the rain, and they had a funny idea as you both held it over your heads, and… well, one thing led to another – and it's safe to say it turned out to be rather eventful. Ending with you and Cece laughing in front of your apartment building once you reached it, huddled in front of the small entrance – Cece ending up being partially soaked despite their best efforts, and of course, you’re beyond drenched.

Once you reach your shared home, Cece, despite barely being awake, basically shoves you into the shower once you're both a little more settled, and you just do as told – more than a little tired yourself in numerous ways, and definitely not in the mood to argue. When you’re clean and in a new set of clothes, you and Cece talk a little. They try to ask why you had been out, but you just say you ran into someone – though it wasn’t anyone important, and that it wasn’t something to worry about — with them just accepting that answer, much to your relief.

The rest of the evening becomes a bit of a blur after that, with you and Cece just talking some more here and there, sharing a few laughs that really helped brighten your mood and made you forget all about what had happened. The pain becomes dull, and that bright fire in your chest finally dies out - leaving behind a warmth that wasn’t burning or suffocating, but instead comforting and painless. One you welcomed graciously and with open arms as you felt yourself relax more and more.

Eventually, Cece turned in for the night, and as they headed back into their room, you did one last check of the apartment — making sure all the windows were not only locked, but that the curtains were closed. Going as far as to check the front door a few times just to make sure that it was really locked. Even if none of what you did would really stop any of them from getting in - it put your mind at ease a little, and really, that’s all you could hope for.

With that, you finally settled into bed, and fell asleep faster than you had in years.

For once, you hoped you’d never wake up as your worries and fears felt so far away, and reality was out of reach – even if it laid just beyond your closed eyelids. As much as you hoped for a better morning, more than anything, you hoped that you’d just sleep the week away if you could help it. God knows you needed the rest, or at least it felt like you did.

—----------

Dick had no such luxury.

The night became a blur after you had left, and he barely remembers even meeting up with the rest of the family once everything was said and done. He couldn’t tell how long he had been standing in that park all by himself, thinking of everything you had told him and looking at the little pieces of your existence that still remained behind.

All he knows is one thing led to another, and now he’s here – sitting on top of a roof with everyone else both simultaneously chastising him and trying to discuss what they should do now. Though Dick couldn’t bring himself to pay attention, since the events that had unfolded moments prior replayed in his mind like a broken record, torturing him slowly as his brain reminded him of all of the mistakes he’s made tonight. He can’t understand why he said half of what he did, especially because he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean to blow up like he did – especially in front of you, and when you were clearly hurting and frustrated on top of that. The only thing Dick wanted to do in that moment was stop both of you from arguing, and it seems that his mouth ran off to do just that before he could think of a better way to do it. Now leaving him like this, and things worse off than they were before.

Point is, Dick felt like shit, and he knew he deserved it. Though the rest of the family definitely weren’t helping him out in that regard.

“How the hell did you even fuck this up, Dick?” Jason asks, his tone so heated it sounds like it could’ve come from the depths of hell itself – and all just to burn his older brother.

“I knew I should’ve gone instead, this would’ve never happened-” Tim can’t help but mumble to himself, arms crossed as he sighs, frustrated – but not completely at Dick. If there was a moment for him to really believe he should’ve kept your address and apartment number to himself, it was definitely now.

“Wait- so… what do we do now?” Stephanie asks, concerned over what happened, and that Dick hasn’t really said anything about it to them – even if all of them can tell it went poorly.

Damian just sighs, his arms crossed as well as he looks at Dick before looking to the others, “Take matters into our own hands, obviously.”

“While I agree that something should be done, is it really a good idea to act now?” Barbara pitches in, not entirely sure of what Damian was talking about, but not liking the implications of it all the same. Something about it just didn’t feel right to her, nor did the look he gave her.

“Of course. Now that they’re presumably heading to their apartment, we can just-” before Damian can finish what he was going to say, Cassandra covers his mouth, cutting him off swiftly which annoys the little Robin enough to shove her hand away and give her a scrutinizing look, “what?”

Cassandra just shakes her head, and instead begins to sign something, basically saying how they don’t know if you're even at your apartment, and by the time they find out where you actually are, it’ll probably be morning. Even mentioning how since you know that they know where you live, you probably wouldn’t even be there anymore. Which just causes Damian to huff in response. She had a point, and he knew it, but he wasn’t going to admit it out loud.

Still, despite that Jason spoke up again, “Actually, I agree with the little twerp. Now’s a good a time as any to get them home.”

“... You can't be serious, right?” Barbara asks, now getting a little concerned over what Jason meant as well, and the half-shrug he gave did little to reassure her or calm her nerves that were slowly beginning to rise.

“Why not? They’re still out there doing god knows what- who knows where in the dead of night,” he points out, giving Barbara a little glance, “it anything, I just see more of a reason to get them before anything else happens.”

“Jason, do you even hear yourself right now.”

“What? Is it a crime to be worried for my god damn family now?”

“Jason.” Bruce’s voice pierces through the air, cutting through the tension before anyone else can speak up or give their two cents. Almost as if just his voice alone was enough of a barrier between those who wanted to get you home, those that didn’t, and the few who didn’t know where they stood at the moment.

Regardless, it’s enough for Jason to stand down, if only temporarily as Bruce turns to Dick – who’s still out of it, and staring at the ground just before his feet.

“Dick,” Bruce calls out, which only gets him a subtle glance, with Dick not even bothering to pick up his head – or maybe he just couldn’t, no one could tell except for the one person among them who was much too fluent in body language. “What do you think?” He asks simply, narrowing his eyes a little when his eldest son grows quieter somehow.

Dick fidgets with the coffee cup in his hands, its warmth long gone, and yet he still runs a finger or two along the side as if it was still there. He doesn’t know why he grabbed it, but now he almost couldn’t find it in himself to let it go. It was yours, after all, if only for a brief moment – and even if all it did was serve as a reminder of his faults, it reminded him of you, and right now? That’s all he could ask for. Dick can’t explain it, but it’s like by holding the cup and having it with him, he had a small part of you with him. Since, sure, while you had left it during your… ‘dispute’ with him, it had come from a place you liked and he could only assume that it was just how you liked your coffee. It was silly, but holding it made him feel close to you, and that’s all he wanted at the moment. To be close.

… It takes him a beat or two before he responds, and even then he seems unsure of himself – but remembering what had transpired minutes ago is enough to set his mind straight.

“I think… we should give them some time, and… a bit of space too for a while.” Dick manages to say hesitantly, tapping the cup lightly as he still holds onto it.

That seemed to quiet everyone down for a moment, until Stephanie eventually asks the question on everyone’s mind.

“Just how badly did things go, Dick?”

He couldn’t answer that, he didn’t want to, so he remained silent. However, Cassandra could tell, and found herself just as divided as she felt the moment she first saw him. She didn’t know what she wanted to do more – throw Dick off the roof, or go looking for you herself. Maybe she’d try to do both if Bruce wasn’t right there.

“So, what? Do they hate us now or something?” Jason says sarcastically, but with how Dick tenses a little his tone turns harsher, “... You can’t be serious.”

“Dick- please tell me you didn’t screw things up that badly. Please tell me that you didn’t make things worse!” Tim almost begs, desperate to be wrong and hoping that his eldest brother hadn’t made things worse – that there was still a small chance.

Sure, they didn’t expect things to go great, but none of them really believed that they would go so horribly!

“Look, just-” Dick takes a short breath, looking at the cup in his hands in quiet defeat before glancing away, “I think we should give them some time to themself is all.”

Jason can only scoff as he crosses his arms, “I knew I should’ve gone instead, they would’ve been home right now.”

“I believe me and father would’ve handled the situation much better,” Damian states, as if it would lead to the only positive outcome should he and Bruce had gone instead.

“I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut and just gone over by myself- stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Tim curses under his breath, looking away as he continues to mumble to himself – expression growing increasingly darker and the air around him shifting into… something indescribable.

Cassandra seemed just about ready to rip something apart, and Stephanie was getting nervous from how the others seemed to be reacting, only able to stutter out a small, “G- guys? Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this right now-”

“I agree…” Barbara chips in, her own concerns only growing as she looks at the family, but tries to help Stephanie out nonetheless, “What’s done is done, and we should be trying to figure out what to do from here on out.”

Damian scoffs, “Right, like that will be easy with brother being silent about everything.” Dick could only look away in response, taking a small sip of the coffee in his hands, finding a little bit of comfort in its taste. It was cold, and wasn’t how he usually got his done – but it’s how you liked it, and that was enough from him to like it too.

A small argument seemed to spawn from that alone, with some now going back and forth yet again on what to do – Cassandra, Jason, and Damian pretty adamant about wanting to bring you home, with Barbara, Stephanie, and Dick more keen on waiting and giving you space — even if Dick was definitely more quiet about his stance, still thinking about… whatever was on his mind. Tim didn’t seem to engage much in the arguing either, and instead seemed to be dealing with his own thing as he kept mumbling to himself, leaving Bruce to be stuck listening to all of the nonsense until he finally got fed up with it.

“Quiet down, all of you.” He states firmly, voice cold and harsh as he shuts everyone up without even moving an inch. His eyes seemed to judge all of them as he looked at everything before sighing, and making the decision for everyone.

“We’ll give them time, and stand down for now.” He says, his tone alone indicating that there would be no arguing on this. What he said was final, and everyone would be smart to follow along with it, no matter where they stood. Still, he turned to look down at the city, and caught the faintest glimpse of your apartment building in the not-so-far distance. “but if anything happens, then we’ll act accordingly.”

#yandere batfam #platonic yandere batfam #gn reader #yandere dc #platonic yandere #yandere x gn reader #yandere batfam x reader #yandere dc x reader #yandere dick grayson #yandere dick grayson x gn reader #it's finally here in full!#total wc is around 37.5k words #so the 1st part is around 16.5K~ words #and this part is around 20K-21k~ words respectfully #ngl i lost a bit more of my sanity writing this chapter #i was so naive when i called chapter 2 my longest post...#not series

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navybrat817 · 3 months

Text

Hold You Tight: Part 4

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 3 | Series Masterlist | Part 5

Chapter Summary: You try to continue the date like "normal" after Bucky's promise.

Chapter Word Count: Almost 3.4k

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, unease, tension, possessiveness, mental and emotional whiplash, reader is trying to stay calm, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight! Hope you lovelies enjoy and thank you again for the feedback so far! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . I no longer do taglists, so please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

“You’ll be out of your apartment before the end of the month.”

The statement played on a morbid loop in your mind as Bucky pulled you up from your chair. The guard gave you two plenty of room to enter the penthouse again. You looked at him, trying to convey in your expression that you needed him to do something. Anything. The man gave you nothing in return. It was pointless to try. He worked for Bucky, not you. He wouldn't care.

“Did you mean what you just said? Your promise?” You asked as you followed Bucky to the dining room table. You wanted him to take it back, to tell you it was a joke. He couldn't make you leave your home by the end of the month. He had no right.

“I think you know the answer,” he said, pausing when you yanked your hand away and crossed your arms.

“And I think you have a lot of nerve,” you uttered as he pulled out your chair. “Where the hell do you get off? And how do you even plan to get me out of my home? It’s not like you own the building.”

You had no idea how deep Bucky’s pockets ran. There was a chance he could buy the building tomorrow or bribe someone into evicting you. Would he stoop that low?

“I adore you, Kotyonok, but I’m not going to tell you and ruin the surprise,” he smiled, gesturing for you to take a seat. “And you haven't seen me get off yet.”

You ignored his comment as you sat down and stared into the flame of the candlelight. The familiar scent of the meal drifting from the kitchen put you at ease for the most part, but your stomach turned. Would this really be where you'd spend your meals from now on? It didn't matter that the penthouse was beautiful. You had a home. Maybe it wasn't as nice as this, but it was still yours.

Did Bucky care about your distress at all?

You blinked when you saw your wine glass on the table. The guard had grabbed both of your glasses from the balcony. For a man of his size, he sure as hell moved quietly. “Thanks,” you whispered, taking another swig to help calm your flaring nerves.

“You’re welcome,” he said.

“You know, I was so excited to have you in our home I don’t think I introduced the two of you,” Bucky said as the man stood tall. “This is Raymond, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you call him Ray since you’ll be seeing a lot of him.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. Bucky said “our” again. Not “his”. You wanted to go back to bed and hide under your covers. “It’s nice to meet you. Is it okay if I call you Ray?” You asked, not wanting his boss to speak for him.

How and why did he work for him anyway?

His eyes were a brighter shade of blue than Bucky’s, but still had a touch of coldness. Though his expression did soften a fraction as he considered your question. “You may. And it’s nice to meet you, too,” he replied, nodding toward the kitchen before he stepped back.

The chef walked over seconds later with plates in hand, a large smile on his face. “Here we are. We have the…” You tuned him out as the dish was set in front of you, your eyes on Bucky across the table. He didn’t look at the chef either, your gazes locked in a silent battle. Your hand began to ache before you realized you were gripping the handle of your knife. You released it and looked away, but you caught his smirk anyway.

He won.

“Enjoy!” The chef finished, clasping his hands together.

Bucky shot him a look before he could walk away. “I’ll enjoy it once I know she does,” he said, his smile soft as he turned his attention back to you. “Dig in.”

A beat passed and all eyes were on you, waiting for you to have the first taste. It was unsettling to say the least as you blindly grabbed a piece of flatware to take a bite. You slowly chewed the food and wished you could've appreciated the additional flavors the chef added to make your favorite meal that much better, but being under the scrutiny of the entire room took away the delight.

“It’s delicious,” you announced, bringing another piece to your mouth. The chef’s audible sigh made it hard to swallow. What would Bucky have done if you didn’t like the food? “Thank you.”

“Yes, thank you,” Bucky added, still gazing at you like you were the center of his world. “Ray, would you show him out please?”

The chef didn’t have to be told twice as Ray wordlessly led him away.

You didn't miss the way Bucky's eyes followed your motions as you continued to eat. They told you he’d rather have you for the meal. That he’d reach under the table at any moment and part your thighs to gather the taste of you on his fingers. You firmly pulled your legs together.

“Are you not hungry?” You asked. He hadn't touched anything on his plate. Too busy staring at you. Why was he so fascinated with watching you do something as mundane as eating?

“I wanted to make sure you ate enough before I dug in,” he answered, finally taking a bite. He groaned as his eyes slipped shut, the sound making you press your legs even closer together. Being handsome didn't excuse a thing and you refused to let him get to you. “You're right. This is delicious.”

You averted your eyes when he ran his tongue over his lips. “Well, you hired him, so I imagine he's an amazing chef.”

“He is. I’m not a bad cook, but I don’t cook as often as I'd like.”

You nodded. Running a club likely kept him busy, but he could've used his free time cooking or doing something else instead of looking into your life. You ranted about that already though.

“Maybe we can have a day of the week where we make a meal together. We’ll take turns picking different meals to try, like pizza. We’ll have to make a pizza together,” he said, leaning forward as his eyes lit up. “I could even set up a projector on the balcony if you wanted to cuddle outside and watch a movie. Or we could do something indoors.”

“What if I don't want pizza? Or a movie night?” You asked, trying to gauge his reaction since you actually enjoyed pizza and movies.

“If that isn't what you're in the mood for, we can figure it out together,” he offered.

“Can we?” You asked, pushing a bit of the food around with your fork. “Or will you just make the decisions for me?”

You were speaking as if you planned to continue with his delusion. That you would actually have dinner dates and movie nights and cuddle. Things you always wanted with the right partner. The one you chose.

He twirled the knife in his hand before he pointed it at you. “I told you I don’t want to control you.”

“Yet you’re putting me in a cage.”

“You have a lot of freedom,” he retorted, taking another bite. “It’s not like I’m telling you to stop spending time with your friends or not have hobbies. I just want you close by. And about your job-”

Your eyes flashed. “If you’re about to tell me I have to quit, I will throw wine on you.”

“Thought you said it was too delicious to waste.”

“I’ll throw your glass on you and enjoy the rest of mine,” you said, warmth creeping up your neck when he chuckled. “Don’t laugh. I’m serious, Bucky. I’m not going to quit my job. I don’t care how much money you have. I love what I do.”

He laughed still, but held a hand up on surrender. “Kotyonok, I won’t make you quit your job. I know you love being a florist and I’m not about to take something away that makes you happy.”

You reigned your inner claws in. “So, I can keep working like normal? And why are you calling me Kotyonok? What happened to doll?”

“Doll, Kotyonok, you suit them both.” He reached up and ran a hand through his hair, looking every bit like the king of his castle. “And you can.”

“Oh. Well. Thank you,” you said, wishing you didn’t feel the need to thank him when it shouldn’t be his decision to begin with.

The two of you ate in semi-comfortable silence after that. You wanted to trust that he wouldn’t mess with your job, but he was interfering in the rest of your life. Maybe it wasn’t a cage he had you in after all, but he did have you on a leash.

Either way, you were his pet.

“Dance with me,” he stated once your plates were clear.

“There’s no music,” you said before a soft melody began to play in the room. You glanced around and tried to find where the speakers were. Ray must’ve turned it on.

You allowed him to help you up from your seat to hold you close. You bit back a protest when he guided your hands to rest at the base of his neck. There was hardly any room between you as he rested his hands on your hips and helped you sway to the slow beat. It contrasted with how your heart raced and you had to close your eyes to escape his gaze.

“I felt like I’d been asleep for a long time until you came along. You woke me up. Made me feel,” he whispered, his lips brushing against your forehead. “We’ll be happy together.”

His words had you catching your breath. He wasn’t the kind of predator who went right for the kill or the kind that merely stayed in the grass to bide his time. This was a cat and mouse of sorts. He caught and released you. The scary part was you didn’t know how long he’d hold onto you before he sank his teeth in or how long he’d let you run before he caught you again.

“I really want to kiss you,” he murmured, your heart thudding more as he rested a hand on your cheek.

“Not on the first date,” you said, hoping it sounded more like a tease than a complete refusal.

He chuckled and brought his lips to your ear. “What does our second date get me?”

You didn’t want to say the wrong thing, especially since he was playing along. But how long would you be able to fight off his want for you? “I guess we’ll play it by ear,” you answered.

“Making me work for it. I respect that,” he said, checking his watch as the song changed. “Speaking of being respectful, I should probably get you back to your place.”

As eager as you were to leave, you still asked, “No dessert?”

His heated eyes swept over you as he traced the diamond necklace with his finger. “I want you for dessert, but I’m trying to be good,” he replied, his voice husky as you held your breath. “I also made sure we’d have dessert to share in the car. Why don’t you go get your clutch and we can go?”

“Sure,” you said, taking one last look around the place as you went to get it. Bucky went to Ray and whispered something you couldn’t make out, but you went to the door instead of trying to eavesdrop. You didn’t want to know what the conversation was about. If it didn’t involve you, well, it wasn’t your business to begin with. And if it involved you, you were bound to find out anyway and you were too tired and mentally drained to deal with it.

A bath and more wine wouldn’t even help.

“I hope you like it,” Bucky smiled, holding up a small container as he joined you with Ray right behind him.

“Let me guess,” you said, taking the container from his hand. “It’s my favorite.”

“Of course,” he said, opening the door and putting an arm back around you.

You looked back when Ray didn’t follow you into the elevator, wishing he’d join you so you wouldn’t be alone with Bucky in there. You supposed it didn’t matter. Would he stop his boss if he tried anything or just look the other way?

It was surreal to leave the penthouse. You half expected him to go back on his word and not let you go. You glanced at him as the elevator went back down to the garage. Besides being a walking red flag, he was still a mystery.

“You said your mom would’ve loved me. Past tense,” you said, seeing his jaw clench. “Did something happen to her?”

He tightened his arm around you as the elevator stopped. “She’s gone and that’s a topic for another day,” he said, pausing to give you a tender smile. “But thank you for asking.”

The man had issues, but you hadn’t meant to touch on a sore topic. Why were you asking personal questions about him anyway? You weren’t his girl. He wasn’t going to be your guy. This wasn’t a fairytale. If it was, he would be the villain disguised as a king.

Bucky helped you back into the car, once again not waiting for the driver, and got in beside you. He barely had the door closed before you pulled you into his lap, the container almost falling from your hand as the other went to his chest. “Bucky, what are you-”

“I said you could sit in my lap after dinner,” he smirked, running a hand along your thigh. Your body went rigid as his hand trailed higher. “I won’t do anything except feed you.”

You stayed perfectly still as he moved his hand away and opened the container. He promised he wouldn't force anything tonight, but you didn't want to throw fuel on the fire by shifting and inadvertently teasing him. It would be fine. A short drive and you’d be back at your apartment.

“Open,” he ordered. You obeyed, your mouth opening up for him to place a piece of the dessert on your tongue. He swore under his breath as you closed your mouth to chew and his hand found its way back to your thigh. “Swallow it, Kotyonok.”

You were lucky you didn’t choke, the normally sweet treat sliding bitterly down your throat. He probably imagined saying those exact words to you in a very different sort of scenario. Feeling his hips move slightly beneath yours, he was likely imagining it right this second.

“Good girl,” he sighed, feeding you another piece before he buried his face in your neck. “I can't wait until you're really home.” His breath tickled your skin. “I won't have to say goodnight and watch you walk away. You’ll be beside me and fall asleep in my arms.”

“In your home,” you whispered, tilting your head to give you some space, but he followed.

“Our home,” he corrected you. “End of the month.”

Your chest ached, but you breathed evenly. You were almost home and could panic once you were alone. “It’s too soon. You understand that, right?”

“I went too long without having you by my side. You understand that, right?” He asked, cupping your cheek to make you look at him. “You went too long without me, too.”

It wasn’t fair that he was trying again to prey on your loneliness. “Bucky, you have to give me some leeway here.”

“We can figure it out together,” he said, the same thing he said during dinner. Dismissive. He thought he was going to get his way. And he would, wouldn't he?

“Well, we aren’t figuring that out tonight,” you said, pushing off his lap when the car came to a stop and fixing your dress since it rode up. “Good night.”

He stopped you from getting out. “I have to walk you to your door.”

“I’m not letting you in,” you warned. You needed your space.

“You do remember that I can get in your place without you opening the door for me, right?” He cupped your cheek again when your eyes rounded. “But I won’t do that tonight. I’m just making sure you get in safely.”

“That’s ironic coming from you,” you mumbled.

He chuckled and helped you out. Your building normally looked like a safe haven, but it was like there was a clock overhead counting down the moment until it was no longer yours. “I really do love how sweet you are, but I love your claws when they come out.”

“Careful. I just might scratch you.”

He groaned, leading you inside. “You know, you’re welcome to scratch up my back. Leave your mark on me and I’ll leave one on you.” He winked when you caught his eye. “And in you.”

He caught you when you stumbled. “Stop saying stuff like that, please,” you begged, straightening yourself out. You weren’t sure how much more you could take tonight.

“I can’t help myself,” he said, taking your phone from his pocket once you got to your door. “I had a really nice time tonight.”

His fingers touched yours as you took your phone back. “I had a nice time, too,” you said. Under normal circumstances, a romantic dinner and diamond necklace would’ve been a dream come true. “Good night, Bucky.”

He lingered as you unlocked your door. You turned to remind him that you weren’t inviting him, but you couldn’t speak when he leaned in. His lips brushed the corner of yours, all too gentle and intimate.

“Sweet dreams, Kotyonok.”

You ducked inside without another word and locked the door, listening for his footsteps. It took a moment, but you heard him walk away before you slid to the floor. It felt like you could finally breathe again since you were home and he wasn’t going to bother you again tonight.

Your heart sank though when you checked your phone and saw a message from Addison.

“Change of plans for tomorrow and I’m so sorry, but Brady somehow got us a reservation at The Terrace. Can you believe it?! Maybe we can hang out the day after?”

Tears burned your eyes. You were looking forward to seeing her. It would've been nice to pretend that everything was normal. Or maybe you would've told her at least something about your situation.

Your mind drifted to Bucky. The Terrace was one of the best restaurants around and usually booked a couple of months in advance minimum. Was it a coincidence that Brady somehow got them reservations on the day you were supposed to hang out with Addison or did your new suitor have something to do with it?

Speak of the devil, you received a new message from the man himself.

“Thank you again for the wonderful date. Are you free tomorrow night? I’d love to introduce you to some of my friends.”

Your eyes narrowed. The second you see that your plans are broken, he messages you? If you didn't think he meddled before, you certainly did now.

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

He messaged back seconds later. “Yes, you do. I can have it sent over or have it ready for you here.”

You huffed out a laugh before a couple of tears fell. Meeting Bucky’s friends would be another step in his plan to make you his. If they didn’t like you, maybe they’d sway him into forgetting about you. It was wishful thinking. Because you knew in your heart that Bucky wasn’t going to let you go.

But if he was going to play, maybe you could find a way to throw him off his game.

“I actually have plans. Maybe another time.”

You didn't bother looking to see if read the message or if he responded. Your life was your own. Bucky would have to deal with it. But knowing how he handled things so far, he’d find a way to have you on his arm tomorrow night.

Yay to @targaryenvampireslayer for guessing who the guard is! And what's Bucky going to do since you declined meeting his friends? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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eddiernunson · 1 month

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Ice Cream, Bikinis, and Other Ways To Torture Him | Older Rockstar!Eddie x Harrington Fem!Reader | 18+

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Summary: The stories of Eddie Munson, front man of Corroded Coffin and his music filled the Harrington household, his albums on shelves and picture frames hung of your dad and him, young and dumb. You’re home for the weekend, which just so happens to be the same weekend Eddie is in Hawkins on a personal errand. The longtime crush on him bubbles to the surface as you meet him, giving into the temptation of small summer dresses and bubblegum gloss for the fun of it. Until your dad is called in to an emergency work meeting. Then the fun of torture becomes temptation.

Warnings: Older Rockstar!Eddie, Harrington!Reader (Steve’s daughter), multichapter build up, excessive use of nicknames, no use of y/n, use of marijuana, perv!Eddie, this chapter has some forced proximity, tension and uh oh feelings.

Describes: long hair, shorter than Eddie by a few inches, reader is described to look like her mom (can be ANY race) with Steve’s freckles. No skin colour, body shape/type

Word Count: 3.7k (it’s the shortest one, I promise I’m so sorry 😭)

Chapter 2

The first thing you did when you got into Eddie Munson’s little red corvette was peel the window open, claiming you had just needed some fresh air. It was true, as his scent had choked you as soon as you sat down on the dark gray leather seats. It’s strangely intoxicating, an odd mix of smoke, woodsy, and pure man that has you wanting to take a big whiff like some little pervert.

Strangely even from the window of a rockstar’s corvette the little town looked no more glamorous than it did from your beat up car, the small town feel of it all suffocating as you fill with gratitude you managed to get out. He finally pulls in front of a three story apartment, white walls and balconies so small they make you claustrophobic.

“Uh, how are we supposed to fill this small car with all your uncle’s stuff?” You ask, peering into the backseat as you undo your seatbelt.

He smiles, his eyes momentarily switching between the backseat of the two door car and you. “My van is in the resident’s parking lot, it should have plenty of room to move stuff over.”

“So, donation, your place and your uncle’s place, I’m guessing?” You ask, walking a step behind him to the front door of the building.

“Pretty much. It just comes down to going through it which I know, will be a fucking pain.” He reaches your eyes, giving you a small smile. “Thanks for coming.”

You didn’t have much of a choice.

“Not that you had much of a choice,” he adds as he opens the apartment door, a small bout of laughter filling the halls.

Okay, that was weird.

His uncle lived on the first floor in the corner room in a furnished spot, so all it came down to were the knicknacks he had collected over the years. You didn’t think that’d be so bad until you walked in, your eyes landing on wall to wall collections of mugs and hats and other tiny sentimental things.

“Pretty sure we’re going to end up donating most of the mugs, he doesn’t use them anyway, it’s the hats he’s been fighting tooth and nail for,” he rolls his eyes, grabbing a moving box you haven’t noticed from a stack in a pile against the wall.

“How’d those get here?”

“My assistant brought them with the van,” he explains, setting the box up. “He’s hanging out around town until we pack the van up.”

“Must be nice to have an assistant to take care of that shit,” you muse, your voice only the teeniest bit bitter about it.

He passes you the box, his shoulders shaking in laughter. “I’m aware it sounds pretentious. I only hired him when I kept losing track of which fucking thing I had to do next. Interview, show, interview, photo shoot…it was fucking never ending at times. Sometimes I needed a reminder to fucking eat.”

You grab the box from him, ignoring the twinge in your gut as you walk up to a bookshelf in the corner of the small living room containing many little things. You know time is of the essence, but you can’t help yourself, leaning over to analyze the display his uncle had created. There’s a photo in the center in a simple wooden frame, a gruff older man who you supposed would be Wayne standing arm in arm with Eddie, a much younger, freer Eddie, at least, standing outside in front of a forest area.

Eddie has his hand on his hip, squinting his eyes against the sun with his uncle's arm wrapped around his shoulder. If you’d looked closer, you’d see their reddened faces, blotchy from tears shed but both gritting their teeth for the picture.

“That was the day I left for LA,” you jump at his voice, holding your chest tightly as you turn to look around to face him.

He’s still across the apartment, wrapping the mugs and storing them in a tupperware box. “I have never seen him cry like that in my life. I was scared shitless.”

You avoid his stare, the starry eyed version of him something you’re not quite used to, something stirs deep in your gut that you find oddly unsettling.

In an attempt to ignore it you look closer at the knick knacks surrounding it, suddenly realizing it was just Corroded Coffin merch, tickets, and even demos. “These would be worth a pretty penny,” you turn over the tape in your hand, imagining a rough draft of Eddie’s untuned, inexperienced vocals. “To you, they must be priceless.”

“I could release them if I’d really wanted to, but the songs suck and my voice was even worse,” Eddie shrugs, still moving mugs into their different boxes. You notice how much fuller the one on the left is, Eddie making actual progress in comparison to your dilly-dallied snooping.

“I bet Wayne still wants this.” You sigh, placing the memorabilia gently in the cardboard box, admiring the faded ink from ticket stubs over twenty years ago. The following shelf had a full row of dark fantasy novels, every spine cracked to oblivion with yellowed crinkled pages. “Do you want these?”

Eddie looks over, absentmindedly wrapping a mug when he double, triple takes, his face lighting up like a kid on Christmas. “Oh I thought he threw those away!”

Suddenly the scent of his cologne invades your nose again as he leans right next to you, grabbing at one of the books on the shelf with a giddy grin. “I used to reread these all the time.”

“Princesses needing rescuing in some odd faraway land?” You tease, turning the dark green book over in your hand.

“Usually with some kind of twist,” he hums, analyzing the back of his paperback as he squats his ass an inch over the floor. “Dragons being in cahoots, noble knights acting selfishly, evil kings turning out to be righteously good… there was always some sort of twist,” his narration turned dramatic as the sentence moved on, a story teller’s voice.

It reminded you of one specific fun fact. “Uncle Dustin said you were his dungeon master in high school, were these any inspiration?”

Eddie’s brows furrow deeply, jerking his head as swivels sharply upward. “Somehow it’d slipped my mind that you would know Dust.”

You nod absentmindedly, taking in the fantastical names in the description. Lysandra the princess, Eletha the fae, King Alistair… “Unfortunately.”

“Hmm,” he peeps, fluttering through the pages. “Aah, Sorceress Nyrinn teaching Lysandra basic magic, this takes me back.”

You smile down at him, how his dimples are deeply embedded in his cheeks and his front canines peek from behind that wide grin as he skims through his harlequin equivalent chock full of fantasy and adventure.

“Any of these girls you’ve ever fantasized about rescuing?” You tease him, starting to toss the books in a box labeled Eddie Home. He remains silent, even a pink tinge dusting his ears. “I was joking, sire.”

“Just keep packing,” he grumbles, tossing the book carelessly into your very organized box. “I’m gonna go take a quick smoke break.”

You find yourself fallen into an easy pattern, having figured out what Eddie’s looking to keep very early on. He’s even willing to go through the boxes that have been long stored at Wayne’s apartment, insisting they don’t need any dead weight, not in Wayne’s small sized room, and not lugged across a few state lines back in LA.

One of the boxes stored in Wayne’s closet seems like it was just thrown together until you realize they were all belongings of a teenage boy. A soft smile graces your face as you imagine Wayne unable to part with the little part of seventeen year old Eddie he still had with him, even if it’s his messy room thrown into a box.

You pick up a small shoe box, the items clunkily jumping about when you shake it. It’s only logical that the box should hold a few dozen player’s dice and painted figurines. The box’s heavy weight is largely contributed to by the worn out and outdated version of the player’s manual.

You take note of the sticky notes curled and faded peeking out of the pages, messy scrawl noting a page Eddie must’ve used for referral once or twice.

One set of dice had a familiar red and plank pattern, painted to look like his prized guitar. You smooth your thumb along the ridged paint, putting the box aside for Eddie despite the protests he will so obviously yelp out.

He deserves to be a bit more forgiving of that side of himself.

There were a handful of items you picked up and put aside for donation, a few old music tapes, a guitar string placement poster, until something catches your eye; a well loved classified notebook.

Now, you might’ve been wrong, but you always had the feeling that Eddie wasn’t too interested in his school work, all items from his locker having been tossed in the garbage the moment the last bell rang each year. As you tentatively open the book, you realize it was probably the one thing that kept him going back.

Each lined paper was filled with his messy scrawl, an intriguing combination of cursive and print, extensively detailed plans for his run as, so Dustin called him, a vindictive and tyrannical dungeon master. Across the scrawl were doodles, well shaded pencil drawings of creatures and classes alike. One page caught your eye towards the end, a full page of scattered doodles that seemed eerily familiar to you.

“Wow.” You look up to face Eddie leaned against the door frame with his arms across his chest, his eyes trained on the notebook in your hands. “I haven’t seen that in a while.”

You glance back down to the page and its doodles, still trying to make sense of where you could’ve seen it. As if plucked out of thin air, a song starts playing in your head and it clicks. “Hey you used these doodles on an album cover.”

He nods, watching your hands gently touch the graphite on the paper. “You could totally donate these to a rock and roll museum; they'd think it's dope.”

Eddie shakes his head, as if the idea was ridiculous. “No one wants to see my ratty old notebook filled with my dateless evenings. There’s not even a single lyric in there.”

“But this is on one of your albums, isn’t it?”

He nods, smiling softly at the abstract doodles before glancing up to you. “I don’t want it, I would never look at it. Take it, if you want.”

You were already tempted to steal it, the notebook having a scent that’s so specifically Eddie with an added elixir of teenage boy added to the mix making maybe your one true Kryptonite. “Whaaaaat? Why would I take it?”

“Steve said you’re a fan of our music, yeah?” You nod meekly, still tracing the graphite. “Well if not, it's going in the trash.”

You put it in your purse.

Since your father left that morning, so did the tether that kept your head on straight, any lingering ideas kept at bay as you kept a safe distance. It was gone.

Keeping a safe distance as an act of self discipline all but seemed moot when your dad offered your services, now stuck in a tiny apartment working around Eddie as his gentle voice hums to the music blasting through his phone.

Maybe a dress isn’t the best choice to wear for manual labor such as packing and moving boxes, the length obviously not long enough to cover the bright underwear. Maybe it's the little allowance you give yourself to indulge in defiance against your own rule. Regardless, it was safer to stay as far away as possible.

Fate proves herself to be a cruel mistress as you find yourself on your tiptoes, reaching up to grab something on a shelf you wondered why someone elderly had a shelf stored so high on the wall, and you smelt him before you felt him, reaching to the shelf’s level to grab it for you.

“Why the hell did he have a shelf this fuckin’ high for?” He huffs, tossing the hidden box onto the bed.

He steps away as fast as he came, leaving the room with a few boxes you had packed and ready. The moment clouds your brain, his strong torso completely against your back, his hot breath on your neck as he stepped away. What the hell?

Your heart pitter patters, your whole body frazzled while you put a few more boxes by the door.

As you’re leaning down to pick up another box you hear Eddie swear loudly down the hall in disgust. He uses the lord’s name in vain several times, rubbing his hand on his pants as his face twists up in utter revulsion when you peek out to see the culprit.

“Somethin’ gross? I don’t see anything wrong with this picture,” you comment, looking around his setting for what might have set him off.

“Don’t–” his hands fly up to prevent you from taking another step. His overly wide eyes and panicked state would usually have you laughing if you weren’t so curious to what could possibly send him into this frantic state of disgust. “You don’t want to know, trust me.”

“Now I really do want to know,” you insist, still scanning the room.

“No. You don’t.” He shakes his head solemnly, his foot slowly shuffling slightly to his left. “Seriously.”

“Can I at least have a hint?” You plead, knowing the possibilities will drive you crazy all day.

“I just found a box of my old clothes,” Eddie starts, gesturing to a kaleidoscope of different shades of black with an occasional band font, unfolded as if thrown in a hurry.

He obviously is hinting towards something, but you need some more exposition. “...Ok?”

Eddie pauses to think, hands on his hips as he racks his brain for something. “Think of it this way. Think of the one item of clothing you don’t want to find under a teenage boy’s bed, twenty years later. Especially twenty years later.” He shudders again.

The one thing…oh. “Oh my god,” you giggle, hiding your obvious glee over his disgust behind your hand. “A…sock?”

Eddie nods slowly, nodding his head in what must be mortification. “Uh huh. I am burning this whole bucket of clothes that just–” he shudders, his left foot inching towards where you had to now guess what must be an absolutely petrified cum-sock lies, “marinated in it.”

A bout of laughter passes through your lips again, disguising the odd intrigue you found yourself in. You might be more perverted than even you initially realized.

No, put away the thought of inhaling in the 20-year-old musk–

“Hey, do you mind helping me with this box? It’s ridiculously heavy,” Eddie gestures down the hall to a tote seemingly filled to the brim with random shit, the sock supposedly tossed into the garbage by then.

“No problem.”

“You want me to walk backward?” He offers, reaching your eyes as you both bend over to grab at the awkward edges.

“Yeah that’d be great,” You cough, failing to ignore the cigarette on his breath just barely disguised by the mint.

Step by step you help him around the corners until you help lift the box into his van, refusing to allow yourself more than a singular moment lingering on how his arms bulge through the lift.

Wayne had a bedside table he hadn’t gone through, filled with momentums over the years. You grab one of the smaller boxes from the living room to hold them, wanting to take care of the things that Wayne had cared for. There were a few photos, Eddie in scattered years from an angsty teenager to a rowdy kid with a missing front tooth. It was obvious everything in his bedside would be moved back to Wayne, allowing him his precious memories of the boy he cared for.

Allotted between the table and the bed is a photo album, something you suspect is cover to cover filled with more photos until you get the glimpse of a brightly coloured pape, just a millisecond but enough to peak your curiosity.

By the second page you’re in tears, softly sniffling at messy scribblings with silly puns and elaborate doodles.

“Hey, when you get a sec–” Eddie stops mid-sentence, taking you in on the bare bed as you weepily turn a page. “You okay?”

“Oh,” you wipe away the tear that was shed, embarrassed. “I’m fine. It’s just— it’s so obvious he went through this a lot, some pages are worn out.”

“Let’s see,” he holds his hand out for the photo album, a drop of weight on the bed as he peers shoulder to shoulder with you as he reads over the pages in front of you. “Oh, wow.”

You put the book in his outstretched hands, watching his expression turn misty as well. The deceitful photo album is an album of father’s day cards, about twenty of them all lined in a row with Eddie’s well wishes in each one.

“I started sending them when I was 25,” he mumbles, his voice wet as he turns a page. “I figured since he raised me n’ all, he deserved the title and the recognition.”

“Seems like he felt honored,” you comment, watching page by page.

“I picked these cards out in less than a second but he puts them in a pressed fucking photo album,” he laughs, shaking his head. “Wayne is ridiculous. But he’s always been my biggest supporter.”

Impulsively, you nudge your chin on his shoulder affectionately, watching him flip through the last through the final few pages. You wondered if his vulnerability making you even crazier for him would be an isolated incident.

God sure had a sick sense of humor when he tied emotion and lust for women.

Turns out, you two work remarkably well together because by the time Eddie places the photo album in the box with a not so subtle sniffle, Wayne’s room, kitchen, and livingroom are all packed up and ready for distribution. The things going home with Eddie and to Wayne’s room are in the van stacked like tetris with your very ‘helpful’ commentary and the donations are piled up by the front door waiting for their collection.

The little red corvette has been sitting in the hot sun for a few hours by the time you’re back into it, ready for a night off your feet.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Eddie comments, taking a turn away from your house.

Your stomach growls at the mention of food, still only two slices of toast being the one thing used to sustain your appetite for the day. “I could definitely eat.”

“Good, I need to thank you for your help.”

You avoid his intense gaze from the corner of your eye, staring holes into your thighs. “It was nothing–”

“What’s your favourite spot in town?” Eddie seems to be ignoring your protests, meeting them with an exaggerated huff as if you were acting foolish.

“I don’t mind if you take me to the nearest one, Munson. I’m starving,” you insist, laughing at the manic shaking of his head.

“I’m not taking you anywhere except your favorite spot,” Eddie insists right back, without missing a beat.

No wonder he and Steve had managed to stay friends for so long, he matches your stubbornness step for step.

“Fine! Take me to Miss.Tina’s I haven’t had their burgers since I’ve been back,” you think back to their fully stacked burgers paired with their crinkle fries drizzled in mustard. You still haven’t been able to find a burger from a local restaurant near your campus that even rivals Miss.Tina’s recipe.

“Oh, I know you’re fucking with me,” Eddie laughs, taking the left turn at the traffic lights.

“Nope,” you inform him, shaking your head slowly. “It’s always been my favourite place in town.”

“Well call that dumb luck, because it’s my fuckin’ favourite place, too.”

“I take it back.”

You laugh at his deadpan, noting the new decor around the walls since the last time you’ve seen it.

“It’s not that bad.” It is, you’re just hoping he doesn’t leave because of the change.

“Are you shitting me?” Eddie deadpans, glancing around to the updated insides now turned into a hollow husk of a restaurant. At least, it certainly felt like the funeral march of your once beloved restaurant. “It’s a horrendous study in interior design. Who the hell paints the inside of a restaurant bright orange?”

“Ok, it’s that bad, but I just need a damn good burger.” You lead the way into the line, noting their updating point of sale. Last time you were there the employee had still been using a notepad, this time an iPad had been stationed on a stand.

The employee now wears some updated uniform barring the design, a bright smile on her face as she greets the two of you. Definitely not the deadened stare you were used to.

The mustard packet you received was a third of the size of what they used to be. It seems Miss.Tina’s has finally met empty corporate capitalism.

The decor might’ve changed, but the recipes remain as always untouched, a collective groan in satisfaction in your first bites in the tacky booth confirmation that Miss.Tina’s still fucks.

“If they change their recipe they are so screwed,” Eddie says exactly what you’re thinking between bites, wiping his face from the sauces that splatters his lips. As he wipes it off, you start to think of making out with him in the booth and lapping up and cleaning his messy face for him. Some real good messy make outs.

You nod, taking a sip from the large soda that must be at least 5 ounces smaller. “Oh, they’d shut down within the week.”

“This was one of the only few places where every group in Hawkins High could be seen, because they didn’t care when we loitered and Miss.Tina treated us like her own.” Eddie glances upward at a sign right by the table, NO LOITERING.

“That’s kind of really depressing,” you sigh, munching on your fry through a fucking wooden fork. “I am not sure I want these fries lathered in mustard enough to also add the taste of wood to it.”

“Plenty of wood has been tasted in these walls before,” Eddie smirks, raising his pierced brow when you choke on the following fry.

It’s like he prides himself on how he manages to make your brain short circuit so easily. Thankfully, years of being raised in the Harrington household has trained a keen sense of wit into you. “Judging on those princess books, Munson,” you take another sip, letting the beginning of your sentence settle in, “doesn’t seem like yours was one of them.”

The fry that bounced off your forehead the moment after was worth it, and the rosy pink that bloomed across his cheeks was even more so.

I have 99% done at this point I’m so excited for y’all to read it!!!

Main taglist: @arlxt @alastorssimp @mmunson86 @pinkcowracing @yourthebrokengirl @skrzydlak @thirddeadlysin @sammararaven @bebe07011 @prettylovley @josephquinnschesthair @forget-you-morelike-fuck-you @names-were-taken @oddussy420

Taglist for Ice Cream, Bikinis, and Other Ways To Torture Him: @emxxblog @transparentenemypenguin @stylesxmunson @ali-r3n @mediocredreams @miaajaade @dreamerjj @prestinalove @pretty-pink-princess @alesiaaa @moonisu @love-anonymous-writer @marlena-marlena @bl1ssfulbaby @kellsck @rockmusiciscalming12 @eddie-munsonsbitch

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x reader smut #older!eddie #older!eddie munson #older eddie munson x reader #older!eddie x reader #rockstar!eddie x reader #rockstar! eddie munson #rockstar!eddie munson #rockstar!eddie x you

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iinumakiis · 3 months

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Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)

summary: gojo satoru is your average frat boy; hosting parties, serial playboy, and somehow managing to pass his classes all the same. unfortunately for him and his normal day to day, he finds himself becoming far more interested in a new addition to his friend group: you.

pairing: gojo satoru/you

warnings: college au, slight smau inclusions, fem!reader, cussing, eventual smut, angst if you squint, gojo's a lil bit of a whore, not proofread, chapter one of multiple

a/n: decided to start a gojo fic 👹 i'm so excited for this y'all don't even knowwww. dividers by @rookthornesartistry + @cafekitsune <3

taglist: @sad-darksoul @seternic @imaddicted-b (ask to be added!)

masterlist / next chapter

Gojo stands outside of the business building, casually chatting up his most recent hookup before class. The woman wraps her well manicured fingers in her hair, toying with it, obviously flirting with a pristine grin. Which Satoru absolutely acknowledges (more so because half of her titties are out), but nonetheless pretends to be interested in anything she has to say.

Meanwhile, Shoko and Suguru show you around campus, being that you transferred in two months late from Kyoto.

"So this way is towards the business building, usually that's where at the dick-for-brains frat boys hang around-" Shoko is rudely interrupted by Suguru loudly yelling overtop of her.

"Speak of dick-for-brains frat boys: Gojo!" Suguru smiles and breaks into a steady jog, eventually meeting up with the snow haired man and clapping him on the back. "Who might this lovely specimen be?" He remarks playfully, eyeing up Gojo's newest arm candy.

His blue eyes roll instinctively, smile still plastered on his face. "This is Ayaka, the smokin' hot girl I told you I was seeing."

Shoko groans from a distance. "Looks like Gojo has another toy to play with." She spins around to face you, making your expression contort into confusion. Gently, she grabs the sides of your arms, "Whatever you do, do not fuck Gojo. He has a new girl like twice a month, and as the newbie to this city, he would feel no shame in taking advantage of your ignorance."

A frown replaces the look of confusion, your brows furrowing together. "Shoko, respectfully, I'm not really one for hookups anyways..."

She nods in response, sighing in relief. "Thank god, I cannot handle graduating being the only girl he hasn't slept with."

You laugh at her deadpan nature. "Yeah, sounds like that should be it's own personal award."

Suguru turns in you and Shoko's direction, "Come here you guys! Y/n you have to meet Gojo!"

Another groan is elicited from Shoko before she reluctantly leads the way towards the two men, Ayaka having given him a kiss and left for her class. Gojo glances at you up and down and quirks an eyebrow, something bordering on curious. He steps to meet you two, much to his own surprise and extends a hand.

"I'm Gojo Satoru, you can just call me Satoru." He says, eyes hidden behind a pair of round sunglasses, his bright smile plastered over his face.

Your hand timidly meets his and shakes, "I'm y/n, I just transferred here literally this morning." You shift your weight to one foot, already feeling too open from the way he's staring at you, but you smile back at him anyways.

The tension is thick, Shoko awkwardly shuffling beside you. Suguru is thankfully unaware of this and continues to ramble about whatever else they had managed to come up with in conversation.

Thankfully, Shoko speaks up between the two men for you, refusing to stand here and watch Gojo semi-ogle you while trying to hold a conversation. "Anyways, I'm going to finish showing y/n to the science and art departments, you two dorks can kiss or whatever it is you do."

Your wrist is enveloped by her hand as she drags you around the men and down the sidewalk, the both of you opting to ignore the protests of the duo behind you.

For some reason you can't put your finger on, you glance back towards Satoru, only to find his eyes already on you.

Satoru's eyes follow you, watching Shoko drag you to the north side of campus where the rest of the buildings were. He doesn't realize he's been tuning Suguru out the entire time, well, up until he interrupts the long haired man mid sentence.

"So does she have a phone number or....?" Satoru drags the question out, turning slightly to once again face Suguru, who's expression is one of mild annoyance.

"Yes she does, why are you asking?" He crosses his arms and cocks an eyebrow, almost in an interrogating way, causing Satoru's arms to shoot up in defense.

"I just figured if she's going to be friends with both of my best friends, I might as well be her friend too. Think it'd be pretty awkward if I wasn't her friend, actually."

Suguru sighs, but can't really fight the logic. Tapping away at his phone, he sends your number to Gojo.

"Don't fuck up man, she's new."

Later that night, after finally settling into your dorm and becoming acquainted with your roommate, your phone pings.

#edenwrites #g.satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #gojo satoru #gojo x you #gojo x reader #jjk gojo #jjk imagines #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n

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enwrites · 1 year

Text

Summer Lovin' (l.hs) – Part One

pairing: ex childhood friend!heeseung x afab!reader

warning: 18+ MDNI !! (not really proofread so sorry for mistakes)

genre/cw: smut, sexual tension, degradation, fingering, male masturbation, vulgar language, suppressed emotions, asshole!heeseung, very slight basketballplayer!heeseung here, crack, slow burn kinda, jealousy, angst, teen romance, slice of life, you cry a lot, heeseung is very annoying, lots of throwing up is mentioned, enha members (02z & sunoo), aespa members (karina & ningning), mentions of beomgyu txt

synopsis: you and heeseung were super close as kids. being the same age and your parents being best friends, you had no other choice but to be each other’s best friends as well. that was until heeseung’s family moved to another town causing a rift to get in between the both of you. never being able to fully recover from the past, what happens when they move back and old feelings start to emerge? you just knew this was going to be a long summer.

wc: 13.2k words

a/n: part one is officially here!! this was just mainly a build up for the story so i apologize if it's a little lacking. part two will def have more to it and juicier smut so pls bare with me! i still hope part one is still enjoyable <3 happy reading and again, all feedback is appreciated :) (+ lmk if you'd like to be added to my taglist for this fic or my perm!)

[ series m.list ] [ main m.list ] [ part two ]

You let out a sigh of content.

Having just graduated, your senior year finally came to an end. Your last summer before college has just started. Bittersweet feelings linger in your heart as you realize your highschool chapter is over. Scrolling through your camera roll, you reminisce on old memories and experiences. Giggling to yourself finding pictures you had thought you forgot about. Most captured you and your three best friends. Karina, Ningning, and Sunoo.

The four of you have done just about everything together and you couldn’t wait to get your summer rolling, especially as Sunoo wouldn’t be joining you guys in college just yet. You cursed at the world, he was just a year younger than you all. It wasn’t like you guys were going to be separated anyways, he was your next door neighbor, his family having moved in right after Heeseung’s family left.

Heeseung… your mind starts to fill up with childhood memories. You couldn’t help but wonder how he was and what he was doing. You turn your head to the side. There on your nightstand sat a hello kitty framed picture of you and Heeseung at the town’s fair. You picked it up, holding it in your hands as you reminisced on your younger days. The two of you being shy of 12 years old, the summer before he left. The picture showcasing the two of you plastered with huge smiles eating funnel cake. You giggle a bit thinking about the events that occurred that day. Your mind couldn’t help but wander to one specific moment.

For some reason both of your parents allowed you two to ride the ferris wheel alone. Your face falls a bit as you start to remember. You wish things had never changed then maybe Heeseung would still be as close to you… maybe he would’ve kept his promise like he said.

“We’ll wait right here for you guys, okay?” Your mom says, ushering you both to the ferris wheel line. Excited bubbled inside the both of you as you two finally were getting to spend a ride alone without having a parent chaperone. Hearty laughs leave the both of you as you enter the ride, sitting across from one another. The sun was finally setting, leaving a sun kissed color in its path. You knew you’d remember this forever.

“The sky is so pretty Hee!” You excitedly said, taking the disposable camera your parents had bought you out of your little hello kitty purse, capturing the sky from your view. Heeseung watched you with so much adoration. He couldn’t help but smile at your actions, loving every second he spent with you. After getting your little picture, you put the camera back into your bag and turn to look at him, a smile permanently etched onto your face as well.

“Yeah— just like you,” Heeseung bluntly says, eyes never leaving yours. Your face starts to heat up and you look away from him. You had always had a crush on Heeseung, everyone knew that. Your heart pounds against your chest, you want to throw up everywhere. What you didn’t realize was that everyone also knew how much Heeseung liked you. Your little puppy love could be seen and felt from miles away. “I like you Y/n,” he continues, breaking the tension.

“I like you too Hee–,” he cuts you off. “No I really like you Y/n,” he sternly said, leaning into you. Even being across from one another, you felt suffocated, the ferris wheel capsule was extremely small you noticed. You wanted to run away. this had to be a dream right?

“I do too Hee,” you whispered back at him. The ride comes to a halt, you were at the very top. Your face red as can be, you were waiting for him to laugh saying this was all a joke. But he didn’t. He leans in even closer and that’s when you felt it. He took your first kiss. Your eyes went wide. For a moment you felt like you were floating amongst the stars. He pulls away, giggling at your reaction as a blush painted his face as well.

“We are going to be together forever Y/n, I promise and I'm going to marry you! And we’re going to have a big house and our very own hamster and even a cat! I know you really love cats but I really want a hamster!” he rambled holding your hands as his eyes never left yours again. Your heart was so full you felt like you were going to explode from joy. At that time, it was you and him against the world.

Forever you had hoped. Small tears formed as you remember the day he moved. Forever was long gone. You wish the world had helped Heeseung keep his promise. The heart shattering memory played in your head. You have tried for years to forget. But can anyone really forget their first love?

“D-Do you really have to go Hee…,” you choked out as tears fell down your face. Your parents gave you both some time to say goodbye to one another as they packed the last of the Lee’s things into their moving truck. The tears kept falling and falling. He reached his hand to your face, wiping them away. His heart shattered that day, he didn’t think his parents were serious. But slowly things were being packed up until this very day and he knew he had to say goodbye eventually.

“I’m sorry Y/n… I have no choice… please don’t cry,” he says to you, your sobs intensify. It was his time to cry as well, tears fell from his eyes as he watched you, this was never a sight he enjoyed.

“We’ll call all the time, okay? I’ll make sure we do, remember what I said Y/n! I’m going to marry you!” he choked out. “We’ll be like Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel Y/n… I promise, I’ll make sure my parents let us visit, okay?” he rambled on more. Pulling you into a tight hug, he let you cry on him as he wiped his tears away, holding you one last time. You didn’t know it was going to be the last time. You pull away, wiping away your snot and tears.

“I-I have something for you,” you stuttered, feeling overwhelmed as you pull out a little charm and a tiny picture of the two of you. Before you could say anything, the two of you were cut off as Heeseung’s mother spoke up, letting you two know they had to leave in a few minutes. Your tears always came rushing back but you held them in. You hand him the picture and a charm. A small smile crept its way to his face. There in your hands was a tiny little hamster charm accompanied by a pocket sized photo of the two of you from the ferris wheel, giggling as he remembered how you guys attempted to try and take photos together with your little camera, hoping the pictures came out well.

“I have a matching one!” you said, pulling out another hamster charm except yours pink and his gray. He pulls you into another tight hug, never wanting it to end.

“Don’t forget me Hee…,” you sadly uttered, his heart breaking right there and then. How could he forget you?

“I’ll never forget you Y/n, I mean everything I said!” He pulled you away giving you a stern look. You give him a weak smile, your heart feeling like it was never going to feel better.

“Just promise me Hee,” you softly spoke, sticking your pinky out. “I promise Y/n,” he links his pinky with yours, the two of you pressing your thumbs together, solidifying it. And with that, the two of you make your way to his driveway, as your parents called for the both of you. Your families say their last goodbye, promising to keep in contact and to visit. With one last final hug goodbye, they make their way into the truck. Pulling out of what was once their driveway and onto the road, Heeseung waved goodbye from the window up until the truck was out of sight.

You broke down. Your parents consoling you as your never ending tears kept falling down your face. You never really knew what heartbreak really felt like but you knew for damn sure this had got to be it. There you were, inconsolable as your first love headed away for a new town.

You didn’t realize how badly you were really crying. Puddles of tears trickled all onto the frame you held. No promise was kept as the months went by and your contact slowly started to dwindle. The Lee's getting too busy with business trips and Heeseung making new friends and joining so many after school clubs. The Lee’s never visited since then. Your mother telling you they just had a lot on their plate and that they’d make time eventually.

That was when the silence came.

Heeseung eventually stopped calling. The fantasy of that little house of yours being taken away by a tornado, forever ripped apart and shattered. The only time you heard or saw anything having to do with him was the year you got gifted your very first phone at the start of freshman year. Your mother had reached out to the Lee’s to give them your phone number. He added you on snapchat from his contacts, never once even starting a conversation with you. You never dared to attempt as well. Too many days had passed and you just couldn’t bring yourself to it. You were just glad to see he was alive and well, even if he never used the app. He never posted anything. Hell, he watched your stories for a week and abandoned the app, never once seeing him appear again.

Before you could get deeper into your thoughts and feelings, there was a knock at your bedroom door.

“Y/n~ are you up yet? Your mom told me to come up here,” you heard a voice from outside your door speak. Sunoo. You sniffled and wiped all your tears away as best as you could, setting the little frame back to its rightful place beside your bed. “Y-yeah I’m up!” you yelled back, hoping you didn’t look as bad as you thought you did. Sunoo opens your door, taken aback by your red puffy face and eyes.

“Were you thinking about him again?” He softly asked, joining you in your bed giving you a sad frown. He knew about Heeseung, you practically made his life a living hell the day his family moved in next door yelling nonsense about how he will never be Heeseung. He knew how much he meant to you and oftentimes he’d catch you looking at old photos with tear stained eyes. No matter how many boys you kissed and dated, you just never seemed to be able to move on. He was gonna fix that for you this summer. No more crying over Heeseung. Sunoo was on a mission now.

“Maybe…,” you weakly said followed by a sniffle. You were embarrassed to say the least. You hated how he had this effect on you. No matter how many boys you’ve been with, Heeseung was over there in the back of your mind. Even the time you lost your virginity to the school’s hottest boy Beomgyu, you couldn’t help but secretly wish it was always Heeseung. It was sickening and you knew he didn’t care for you anymore but for some reason you couldn't get him out of your head. You tried your best to suppress your feelings but you knew it was always going to be there.

Sunoo groaned, throwing his head back, tired of seeing you this way. He hated seeing you sad and he especially hated seeing you hung up over some boy you liked as a kid. You were grown now and he was going to make you get out there and forget about Heeseung.

“Y/n this is your last summer before college, we have got to get some new eye candy,” Sunoo says into your face, shaking you dramatically. “You have got to get over this dude Y/n! It’s been five years! YOU WERE A KID,” He exclaims, rolling his eyes. You sighed, hanging your head low. Sunoo had a point. You have got to try harder.

“You’re right…,” you let out. Putting his hand on his chest with a shocked expression plastered onto his face, he looked at you with his mouth hung open. No way you were finally agreeing with him on this matter.

“I’m gonna take this as a sign to completely come to the conclusion that we will never see each other again,” you glumly uttered. Yes your heart hurt but it was simply the truth. He ghosted you the year after he moved. You needed to get him out of your head once and for all.

“Well… let’s start with that picture right there,” Sunoo points to the frame beside your bed. You frown. You shook your head a little, reaching over to the frame and just setting it faced down. Baby steps you told yourself. Sunoo lets out an exhausted sigh. Some things he just needed to be more patient with.

“I’ll let you pass with that one for now, now get your butt up and go get changed and ready! If you haven’t seen what Rina said in the chat, she wants to go downtown to shop and eat! So let’s get up! They’re waiting!” It was your turn to groan as he ripped your blanket off of you and dragged you out of your bed, literally.

You were ready to finally get rid of Heeseung. For good.

“Finally you’re here!” you heard a familiar voice shout as you walked into the designated brunch spot you frequented. You spotted your friend Karina waving for your attention next to Ningning. You and Sunoo make your way over, sitting across from the two. “Took you two long enough! I’m starving,” Ningning muttered, picking up the menu to flip through.

“Sorry! We could’ve come sooner but someone had a problem starting with Hee and ending with Seung,” Sunoo said to them. They both gave you a small eye roll.

“Y/n you have got to get over him,” Karina said, looking down at the menu in her hand. “It’s been literal years babe,” she added.

“Yeah, I still can’t believe you turned down Beomgyu, he was literally in love with you after you both… you know,” Ningning trailed on. You cringe at the memory. Just after losing your virginity to him, Beomgyu started to get clingy real fast, constantly texting you every second of the day, walking you to all of your classes, wanting to be with you even after school, giving you zero time to yourself. Of course you were fine with those things as you were interested in him at first too. But every single day? You couldn’t take it any longer. It was exhausting the way he love-bombed you.

“Yeah why did you ever end it with him anyways,” Sunoo spoke up, not remembering the details.

“Because, he was creepy and weird and even if the sex was good, I felt suffocated, PLUS he said Hello Kitty was stupid…,” you said, reminding them, your cheeks turning red from embarrassment as you admitted the last part. No one was gonna hate Hello Kitty and get away with it.

“You are something else…,” Karina said back, shaking her head. They knew how much Hello Kitty meant to you and that was surely something they did not wanna mess with. Before anyone else could speak, the waitress came by to take your order. This was going to be a long day. You ordered a creme brûlée french toast and a caramel iced coffee. Heeseung loved french toast too, you remembered.

Boy was this going to be a long summer for you.

“Anywaysss, this summer is project “hot girl summer” for miss Y/n over here,” Sunoo breaks the ice. You roll your eyes as a smile crept onto your face. You couldn’t help but feel immense happiness, thinking about how your friends cared for your well being. You felt so lucky that the world had brought the four of you together. They were your entire world. You probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for them.

“Good because I wanna head to the mall and get some new clothes. Perfect timing! We have got to get you sexier things to wear!” Ningning exclaims excitedly. Something inside of you couldn’t help but get a bit excited. You were ready for a change and you were ready to get rid of Heeseung once and for all.

But you couldn’t help but feel as if something bad were going to happen.

You shake the thought off and you engage into whatever conversation your friends are having, laughing your heart away. You had to make this last summer count.

After about what seems to be almost an hour and a half, you and your friends head to the mall. Thankfully, everything downtown was in walking distance so you didn’t have to worry about Sunoo having to find parking once more.

Walking into the mall, you guys entered the first clothing store you saw.

“First of all, we gotta get you some lingerie or something, you cannot keep wearing all of those Hello Kitty underwear you have,” Karina judgingly said.

“Heyyy! They’re cute,” you offendly spit back with a pout. “Again, surprised Beomgyu even gave you some dick after seeing— OUCH!” Ningning yelps in pain as you smack her arm. She rubs the inflicted area, trying to soothe herself.

“Yeah you cannot expect to get laid like that anymo— OW!” you smacked Sunoo next before he could say anymore. Without realizing, Karina was already filling up a little basket full of matching sets for you. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Were your Hello Kitty underwear really that bad? Your thoughts were disrupted by Sunoo as he called for your name, holding up a few mini skirts.

“Try these on right now,” he said, pushing the skirts into your hands as Ningning followed suit with some tops and dresses. Already pushing you into the nearest dressing room, they demanded a fashion show. Meanwhile, Karina was hand picking the best lingerie she could find for you, making her way to the checkout, keeping her selections a surprise. Your friends were insane people.

Finally, from hours spent in the mall, you guys were ready to make your way home. The sun was finally setting as you four walked back into the direction of the restaurant your day had started at. With your hands full of bags, you swore you’re never going to spend this much money in one go again. “It was for a good cause,” you hear Ningning's earlier statement fill your mind.

Was this really going to help? You couldn’t help but feel doubts within you as the thought of Heeseung came crawling back into your head.

The sunset was the same sunkissed colors of red and pink that day you shared at the fair. This was getting pathetic. He doesn’t care about you anymore.

“Alright, we’re here, thank you guys for helping me with this case,” Sunoo spoke up, opening his trunk to put your bags away. Karina and Ningning smile at you, giggles escaping everyone’s mouths as you all take in the moment. It was days like this you all appreciated each other more.

“No worries, plus I cannot wait for you to see the lingerie, you’re gonna love them!” Karina excitedly squeals, pulling you into a tight hug. She leans into your ear whispering “send pics,” pulling away and giving you a sly wink. Hitting her shoulder, you shake your head with a toothy smile.

You guys say your last goodbyes as Karina and Ningning make their way to Karina’s car, you and Sunoo pull away, making your way back home. Man was it convenient for him as he lived right next to you.

“By the way, my mom just texted and asked if you wanted to stay for dinner tonight, she said there are surprise guests?” you asked puzzled. “What is Ice Spice going to be there or something?” Sunoo asks back laughing. You joined in. “Actually, she won’t tell me who it is so we’ll see… so are you down for dinner?” you asked again.

“Sorry not tonight, I already agreed to have dinner with my grandparents today,” Sunoo replied back. You were bummed as meeting new people always made you anxious. “But I’m free other than that so tomorrow we can do something again?” He asks. You nod your head telling him it was okay.

As you guys turn down onto your street, a boy on a bike passes by, catching your eye as he looks at you for a second, riding past Sunoo’s car. There was something oddly so familiar about him.

“Woah, cute guy… never seen him before, hope we see him again, maybe he could give you some action,” Sunoo piped up as he pulled into his driveway. You smacked his shoulder earning a dramatic yelp from him.

“Yeah… let’s see,” you said back, rolling your eyes as Sunoo helped you gather your things, walking you across the lawn to your house. He gives you a little hug and tells you to tell your parents he said “hi” before making his way back to his house. You opened your door and was immediately met with laughter and some distinctly familiar voices. Yet your head couldn’t quite pinpoint it. The door opening catches the attention of your mother.

“Y/n? Is that you? Hurry in!” she shouts from the kitchen, sounding a bit impatient. “Hold on! I have to bring things upstairs real quick, I’ll be back down!” you shouted back and ran upstairs. Walking into your room, you threw all of your bags into your closet, making a mental note to put them all away later and to try on the things Karina picked out for you. Without a second thought, you ran back down, curious as to who your mother was talking about.

Heading towards the kitchen, your steps come to a halt.

Were you hallucinating or were Mr. and Mrs. Lee standing right before you?

“Oh my Y/n— you’ve gotten so grown up and beautiful, I may just cry! Come give me a hug!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, one hand covering her mouth to hold back tears and the other extended to pull you into a hug. “It’s been so long, how have you been Y/n?” Mr. Lee asks you, it was his turn to pull you into a hug. Still stunned, you thought this was a dream. This had to be some sick and twisted dream.

“I’ve been okay, you know… just graduated and stuff,” you shyly said, suddenly getting anxious. Does this mean Heeseung was here too?

“Yes! We are so sorry for not staying in touch, oh how we wish so much to have stayed here but Mr. Lee’s new job required so much traveling!” Mrs. Lee spoke up, sadness filled her tone.

“Oh no worries, life happens, it’s wonderful to see you guys, are you two just visiting?” you asked, taking a seat at the dining table, looking at them. They had visually aged but they were still the same sweet couple you remember them to be.

“There’s something we have to tell you guys actually…,” Mrs. Lee trailed on, a sheepish smile on her face. She looked at her husband and looked back at us. “You tell them honey!” she excitedly demanded, seeming a bit giddy. Mr. Lee gives a gummy smile.

“We moved back into the neighborhood!” He shouts. Your parents both let out an “oh my god” as everyone was shockingly surprised. Your father getting excited that his cooking buddy was back and your mother getting excited now that she has someone other than you to gossip about the neighborhood.

“Oh my god, that’s so fun! What made you guys come back?” you asked, your interest piqued as you genuinely wanted to know. It’s been five or so years since they last moved.

“Well, Heeseung actually got into a college here, so we decided to move back and settle,” Mrs. Lee said. “Hmm what was the school name again?” she turns to her husband and asks.

“Decelis University honey, you’re always forgetting,” he laughs.

Your heart fell to your ass. Your mouth hung open, a visible reaction of surprise shown on your face. No way this was real… you had to be dreaming. Before you can speak up, your father beats you to it.

“Oh? That’s where Y/n is going! That’s so exciting, you hear that Y/n? You and Heeseung can be friends again!” your father joyfully claimed. “Speaking of Heeseung, where is the boy?” your mother asks.

“He should be here soon, he went on a bike ride before we left to see if anything changed around here. I’m sure he remembers where the house is!” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Bike… riding?

Oh no.

The realization comes crashing down onto you, you already have seen Heeseung. You wanted to throw up right there and then, this could not be happening right now. All of your emotions start rushing back to you as you excuse yourself to leave. Your mother sees your discomfort and follows you out of the kitchen a few minutes later. You make your way out heading towards your room, needing to sit down. Taking deep breaths in and out, your heart felt like it was going to collapse any moment. Your tears come flooding back the same they did this morning. Your breathing increases and you start to hyperventilate.

Was that really him? This can’t be happening, not right now.

Your heart felt as if someone just ripped it out of your chest and through it into oncoming traffic. No matter how much you wipe your tears away, they just keep coming back. Your head shoots up. There was a soft knock at your door. Your mother opens it, a weak smile showcasing on her face. She shuts the door softly, taking small steps towards you.

Your mother had always known how much you liked Heeseung. Your father always thought it was just mere puppy love, thinking you’d move on eventually. I mean who wouldn’t have? You two were only just kids. But your mother knew better. She always did.

The following days after the Lee's departure, she remembered having to hold you in her arms for hours as you hysterically cried thinking about the boy. The following months after, she knew you were still affected despite you telling her you were okay. She’d always occasionally catch you crying, hearing faint sounds of sniffles coming from your room. She always made sure to make your favorite desserts or meals to cheer you up, subtly letting you know she was always here for you. You knew you always worried her so you tried your best to suppress the feelings. But moms know best.

Sitting down on your bed next to you, she wraps her arm around your shoulder, pulling you into a tight hug. You lean your head onto her shoulder as your tears continuously stream down your face. Leaning her chin on top of your head, she hums into your hair to calm you down just a bit.

“Hey baby, it’s going to be okay, I promise… do you want me to tell the Lee’s an excuse so that they can go home? We don’t have to do this if you aren’t ready yet,” she softly said in an almost whisper-like tone as she rocked you a little from side to side. You shook your head. You knew you had to face him one way or another, you mind as well get it over with.

“I-I’m okay…,” you hiccuped trailing off. She laughs a little. “Are you sure? I can really make an excu–,” cutting her off you chuckle, wiping your snot filled face and tears away. Your mother was always like this. She was always willing to do whatever it took to make you feel at ease. You couldn’t have been more thankful for having such a wonderful mother in your life.

“Sunoo said it was “mission forget about Heeseung” summer, so that’s what I'm gonna do,” you let out, untangling yourself from your mother’s arm, sitting back up. You wipe off the non existent dust off your skirt, hoping your mother would understand. She lets out a heavy sigh.

“If this is what you want, you know I’m always going to support you and whatever you choose to do– but I will be checking on you even more than usual, got it?” she sternly ends, squinting her eyes at you as she gives you a harsh point almost scolding you a bit. You both break out into a fit of laughter.

“Well, whenever you’re ready to come back down, the Lee’s will be joining us for dinner tonight– if that’s oka–,” you cut her off once more. “Mom, it's okay!” you dramatically sighed. “Heeseung is nothing to me now! I just threw him out the window in my mind,” you giggle picturing the scene. Your mother shakes her head, a huge smile plastered on her face listening to your silly thoughts.

“Whatever you say Y/n~ The boy should be here soon, so get cleaned up and make sure you look good! Show him what he’s been missing out on!” She excitedly lets out, giving you a kiss on the cheek. She heads to your door, but before leaving she turns her head back giving you a sly wink, then shutting the door. Her footsteps slowly disappear in sound as she goes down the stairs. You stand up, walking towards your vanity. Sitting on the seat in front of the mirror, you sighed heavily.

You looked insane. Eyeliner everywhere and your hair a mess. You put on a smile as you get on to working on your makeup once again. Fixing your wings and making sure to add your touch of glitter, you finish off with a clear gloss on your lips. You brush your hair out, making sure it was neat enough and definitely didn’t look like you were just crying your heart out. Thankfully, your oh so dear best friend Kim Sunoo, bought you some eye drops not too long ago, making sure you never walk out with red eyes ever. He knew the amount you cried no matter how much you tried to defend yourself. Some day you knew it’d come in handy.

Well today was the day that’s for sure.

You grab the eye drops, squeezing a few drops into both eyes, carefully blinking them in, hoping they wouldn’t mess your eyeliner up. You set it down, looking once more into the mirror for a final check. To your surprise, your face didn’t look as puffy as you thought it was. Thank you for the wonders of makeup. Satisfied with how you look, you walk to your closet, standing in front of your full length mirror beside it. You check yourself out, taking note that your outfit seemed cute enough already.

You had on a sort of short light purple pleated skirt, paired with a simple black corset crop top and sheer thigh high stockings. Was this too much? Again, Sunoo did help you pick the outfit out earlier as, in his words, this makes you look “sexy yet cute” and will “attract all the single boys in our area.” Feeling the need to cover up just a tad bit more, you open your closet to grab an oversized, cropped, black cardigan to wear over your top. That should be enough. Giving yourself one last look, you walk out of your bedroom door, happily humming to yourself as you skip down the stairs, going back to where your parents and the Lee’s were. Catching the attention of both sets of parents, they all looked at you as you stood at the kitchen doorway. You give a tiny wave, an awkward smile on your face. You walk to the dining table, pulling a seat out to sit next to your mother. Mrs. Lee catches your attention.

“Oh Y/n sweetie, are you okay? Your mother says you weren’t feeling too well,” she concernedly asked you. A chuckle leaves your lips.

“Don’t worry Mrs. Lee, I’m okay! Just something going on with my friends,” you lied, smiling back. Your parents definitely knew you were lying and Mrs. Lee couldn’t help but wonder if her own suspicions were true as well. Deep down, she knew how much your friendship with her own son meant to you. She also couldn’t help but feel guilty for how you both drifted apart, always thinking she should’ve convinced her husband to stay in this neighborhood a little harder. “Well, Heeseung should be here any minute now, food’s about done.”

You take a deep breath in, mentally preparing yourself. Maybe you weren’t ready for this. It was a little too late now though… plus you didn’t wanna ruin your parents excitement having their close friends back in town. You loved your parents and there was nothing more you wanted but to see them happy as well, no matter how much you were hurting inside. But man did you have a lot to tell your friends later. Your deep thoughts are soon broken as your dad speaks up.

“Oh Y/n! The Lee’s wanted to know if you wanted to come to their house this weekend for a barbeque party?” You nervously giggle as you weren’t really sure what to say. “You can invite your friends as well! Your parents have told us how close you were with the Kim’s son next door,” Mrs. Lee speaks up. Your palms start to clam up and your heart starts racing.

“Y-Yeah… sure I’d be happy to go, I’ll let my friends know! Thank you,” you shakily let out. Both of the Lee’s nod as your mom gives a single happy clap, filled with immense joy. “Perfect! And you’ll make your famous tiramisu right?” your mother grins, nudging you with her elbow. Shaking your head with a grin, you couldn’t help but agree. “Ooh Y/n you make sweets now? You’ve always had such a big sweet tooth,” Mrs. Lee said.

“Oh she sure does, wait till you try some of her macarons!” your mother exclaims dramatically, slamming her palm onto the table for a little smack sound effect. The two women get up filled with laughter, as they start to help prepare the table for dinner. “Do you guys need any help?” you asked, getting up from your seat.

The doorbell rings, catching everyone’s attention. “Y/n dear, could you grab the door? That should be Heeseung,” Mrs. Lee sweetly spoke up, hands filled with plates and utensils. “Uh… yeah… sure,” you sighed out, heart pounding against your chest. You definitely really weren’t ready for this. Again, that same bubbling feeling started to rise, you swear you were about to throw up right there all over the dinner that was being set onto the table. Surely this couldn’t be bad– right?

Making your way out the kitchen, you softly walked to the door. Your steps suddenly feel like you're walking on a floor full of hot lava. You oh so desperately wished you could just disappear into thin air right now. Please world, let you spontaneously combust with no trace of your well-being. As your body trembles a bit, you take in a deep breath as you shakily reach for the door, unlocking the lock and twisting the knob. That french toast from earlier fighting the urge to regurgitate right onto your floor. You pull the door open, confirming the sight you saw earlier from Sunoo’s car.

Lee Heeseung in the flesh.

Exactly how you saw him earlier in the day, clad in his gray hoodie and black jeans, bike leaning on the side of your porch. He tucks his phone back into his pocket, looking up to see who was appearing before him. The two of you lock eyes. He looks you up and down, taking in your appearance. He surely looked different, you thought. He no longer wore his glasses, his face was heavenly defined, and he grew to insane heights, towering over you. He had to be at least six foot tall you thought… yeah he was huge. You couldn’t help but feel butterflies in your stomach, you were sure that you were attracted to him. You swear you could just faint any minute now. Without a care or a single word being spoken, he pushes past you, making his way into your house and into your kitchen.

What the fuck?

Taken aback, you close the front door, locking it behind you. A frown worn on your face as you try to take in what just happened. Following not too far behind him, you hear your parents excitedly yell his name. Appearing before you in the kitchen, you see him giving your parents both a hug, a small smile plastered onto his face. He wasn’t being serious right? It felt as if he was trying his hardest to ignore your presence. You held back your disappointment as tears desperately wanted to fall from your eyes. This effect he had on you was pathetic.

Now feeling offended as you watch them all engage in conversation, you make your way back to your seat at the dining table. You let out a huff, just waiting for this day to come to an end. Aside from his shitty attitude, you couldn’t help but think about the way he surely did grow into all of his features. Though he sported the same black hair he has always had, you couldn’t help but think how cute and fluffy it still looked, or the way his doe-like eyes still sparkled when you looked at them.

Well to you they still sparkled.

You also couldn’t help but think about how it’d feel like to have him enclosing you against the wall, towering over you or picturing yourself sitting on his lap as he held you with his big hands, making out with you. You squeeze your thighs together, naughty things fill your mind as a blush crept onto your cheeks.

What was wrong with you? Why were these thoughts filling up your mind? Before getting a little too flustered, you were brought back into reality as the chair across from you was being pulled out to be sat on. You look up, there Heeseung took a seat. He catches your eyes again, an uninterested look on his face. You simply look away. His aura felt suffocating. He was making you feel so small in your own home. It was sickening.

But man was the so fucking hot. Puberty had done him well that’s for sure. Your mothers sensed awkward tension between the two of you as they brought the food out to be set. Your fathers take their seats at both ends. Your mother takes a seat next to you and his mother next to him. Pouring yourself a glass of water from the pitcher your moms had prepared for the table, your throat feeling drier than ever, you gulp down nearly half of your cup. As you all settle in a bit, you start to dig into your meal. Silence fell upon the table as you all took a moment to eat a bit.

The silence almost made you want to curl up into a ball and cry. Mr. Lee clears his throat. “Heeseung, guess what?” he asks his son in a joyful tune. Heeseung cocks his eyebrow, looking at his father as he takes another bite of his food. Mr. Lee grins, looking at you and back at Heeseung. “Y/n is also going to Decelis University, isn’t that so fun?”

Your cheeks start to heat up as you awkwardly take another sip of your water. Heeseung looks at you. You could feel his stare burning into his skin.

Why was he being like this?

“What are you studying?” he asked, tone seemingly uninterested as if he was forcing himself to speak with you. Yet that didn’t stop the butterflies from filling up in your stomach. You had missed his voice. His voice, now deeper than it was before, runs through body. Your body trembles just a tiny bit. To you he seemed bored yet that was not going to stop your heart from doing olympic flips inside of your chest. “Um, psychology…,” you trailed awkwardly, playing with the food on your plate. He nods, more immersed into his food than he was in you.

Maybe people do change… maybe he really didn’t care for you anymore. You purse your lips into a flat line, frustrated at how things were going. Maybe you really did need to forget about him.

“Well Heeseung just got his very own car! I’m sure he’d love to drive you to school as well,” Mrs. Lee spoke up, trying her best to defuse the tension. “Mom,” Heeseung whines, disappointed in his tone. She gives him a stern look. The younger boy sighs annoyedly. His mother always forced him to do things he never wanted to do in the first place.

“I-It’s okay really, I’m fine taking the bus when the time comes, trust me, he doesn’t have to,” you shakily let out. Yet again, you felt as if you were going to throw up all over this table. “No he will Y/n, don’t worry, I’ll make sure of it,” Mrs. Lee smiles at you. Heeseung rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed at his mother for offering his services. You awkwardly pick at your food, as the parents started up a completely new conversion amongst themselves.

Stealing peaks at Heeseung every so often, you wondered why he was being so weird. Did he not miss you this entire time? Were you really that forgettable to him? You frown to yourself, finishing what was left on your plate, not realizing how fast everyone had eaten. You get up from your seat, giving a helping hand as you start to clear the table for everyone and making your way to the sink. Finally, away from the view of the table, you set the dirty dishes down.

You let out a deep shaky sigh. Tears slowly well up in your eyes once more. You tilt your head up towards the ceiling, trying your best to hold them back. You hated that you were such a big cry baby. You decide to start on the dishes, giving your mother a little helping hand, trying your hardest to think positive thoughts.

Back at the dining table away from your line of hearing, your mother speaks up, catching Heeseung’s attention. “Heeseung, you really have gotten so tall and handsome!” she expressed in awe. “Can’t you believe Y/n used to be a little taller than you back in the day? Now look at her! So short,” finishing her statement, she covers her mouth as she laughs, the other parents at the table join in.

Heeseung simply chuckles back. You were very small, it was almost as if you barely grew in height the last he saw you. If Heeseung was being honest, you caught him off guard. You looked completely different. Your hair is longer, your curves grew in, and even the way you dressed surprised him. Heeseung didn’t mean to ignore you, he really didn’t. He was afraid he’d stutter and embarrass himself.

You probably hated him anyway. So he made the conscious decision to make it seem like he just didn’t care. You surely had new friends now. But the thought of you, was driving him a little insane. That wasn’t the same Y/n, was it? He kept sneaking peeks at you like a kid having his very first crush. Well you actually were his very first love. For some reason, you were making him feel a bit hot and bothered. He needed to get away from you, he didn’t even think his parents would even move back to this place. He wanted to forget about you. There was no way you still felt the same after so many years.

It was his fault anyways that you both stopped speaking. He couldn’t forgive himself and he figured it was best to keep you out of sight and out of mind, embarrassed and nervous thinking of the way he must’ve made you feel. It’s been so long, it wasn’t like you cared– right?

Seeing you today just made him want to jump all over you. The nerve of you to wear that little skirt… Did you know his favorite color was purple? The moment he saw you, impure thoughts filled his mind. Thoughts and images in his head of you, bent over the table with your little skirt, all for him. He knew it was you he saw in that car with that boy.

Who the hell was that guy anyways? There was no way you wanted anything to do with him… you had already replaced him. For all he knew, that guy could’ve been your boyfriend. He needed to put an end to these thoughts. The two of you were no longer friends and here he was thinking about you in compromising ways. He felt like a creep. He felt himself getting a little too excited in hopes that maybe, just maybe, you were the bigger person and would look past his nonsense and maybe talk to him. He missed you, he always has.

But he was the one that ghosted you and he couldn’t forgive himself for what he ruined and he knew there was no hope of rekindling what was once there. It seemed like you had a boyfriend anyways and the thought of that just sours his mood. For some reason, it just made him all the angrier. He wanted to just kiss you in front of everyone to let the world know you were his girl first to begin with. Deep in thought, he hadn’t realized you were already back until he saw his empty dinner plate being carried away by his mother.

You sat back across from him. He locks his eyes onto you, taking the way you looked in once more. Man did he want to take you right there and then. He felt so filthy thinking about you in such a way surrounded by not only his parents, but yours as well. He shifts a bit in his seat, having to keep in mind that you were already taken. He was always selfish thinking you’d wait for him. To make himself feel worse, the thought of you doing lewd actions to anyone but him, made him feel the need to punch holes through walls.

Why was he so upset? He couldn’t even bring himself to speak to you normally anyways.

You felt heavy eyes on you as you sat in your seat, looking up from your lap, your eyes meet Heeseung’s. This was happening way too much for your liking. You look away and back onto your lap, fiddling your fingers together, nervous as to what he was thinking. He looked scary. Your breathing still a bit shaky, you were just counting down the minutes till the Lee’s left. But you knew they’d be here awhile, that was typical of both your families as they loved to linger and talk about nonsense. Your legs shaking nervously, you let out a deep sign, your anxiety getting worse as the time flies by. “Why don’t you show Heeseung to your room and catch up a bit? I’m sure you guys would love to talk amongst yourselves.”

You spin your head at the speed of light to where the voice was coming from. Your father takes a sip of his drink. “Go on, we’ll give you two some space,” he adds on. Shocked, you looked at your mother, hoping she’d save you, but she gave you a little shrug shaking her head. You knew your dad never took your feelings for Heeseung seriously. Taking a mental note to have a stern talk with him later, you stand up from your seat, legs wobbling. “Uh… sure– if it’s okay with you of course,” you hastily spit out, hoping he’d turn you down.

To your surprise, he stood up from his seat, making his way towards your side. What the fuck was going on. Was he not just ignoring you not too long ago? Your heart pounding against your ribcage, you scurry your way out of the kitchen, Heeseung follows behind.

Heeseung knew where your bedroom was already, your house was still the same aside from minor renovations from the past years. As you lead the way to your room, he couldn’t help but trail his eyes down to your bottom. The thigh highs on your legs not making anything better for what he was going through at the moment either. Walking up the stairs, his eyes catch a glimpse of your underwear… Hello Kitty underwear? He smirked. Maybe some things about you never changed and boy was he right.

When you open the door to your room, he was met with Sanrio galore. Hello Kitty plushies littered your room followed by every possible character that franchise had a hold of. Hell, your bedsheets and bed were splattered with just as much.

You walked in and sat on your bed, the nerve wracking anxiety eating away at you. You swear you could just jump out of your window right now to escape this. Too deep into your thoughts, you didn’t realize the fact that he closed the door behind him. You were definitely going to throw up sooner or later.

The tension was awkward and your heart was heavy. What were you supposed to say?

Lee Heeseung was in your room and he looked extremely hot.

He takes in your room, it looks completely different. You had taken time to really change things. He scans around and a certain wall catches his eye. There on the wall, littered with many pictures of you and your friends. There he saw you and that same guy he saw you with earlier in so many of the pictures. Why was he always there? It pissed Heeseung off to no end. Old pictures of the two of you nowhere in sight. He was upset to say the least. Did you really hate him that much? His temper starts to get short. What he said next shocked the both of you.

“Did you really have to dress like a slut for dinner?” he spits, catching even himself off guard. Your head shoots at him, a disgusted expression lay on your face. “What the hell did you just say to me?” You stood up, crossing your arms as you looked at him.

This was not the Heeseung you knew, that's for sure. Your feelings for him were thrown out the window and forgotten. He was being thrown out the window in your head once again. “Did I stutter?” he cocks his eyebrow at you as your face displays offense.

“What the hell is your problem Heeseung,” you bite back, your temper being shortened. You cannot believe this was the same guy you were crying over the entire day. He laughs at your face. “What’s yours? I’m not the one having my ass and tits hanging out for the whole world to see,” he nonchalantly says. Oh he was done for. “You sure have changed.”

He was far too gone to even call whatever he just did some sick joke and make up with you. To him, you looked so cute being all angry at him, it made him a little excited. He wondered how long he could keep this up. Though, he was fighting the urge to just grab you and kiss you right there. But you had a boyfriend, he couldn’t do that.

You angrily stomp towards him, cornering him against the wall. Harshly jabbing his chest with your finger, you looked up at him, a smug smile plastered onto his face. You wanted to punch his pretty face in.

“You are so fucking annoying, what do you treat every girl you see this way? Dick too small to get any action, you have to take it out on women?” you spit out at him, venom lacing your voice. One thing you were not going to let men get away with was the way they spoke about women. The sweet Heeseung you once knew, instantly exploding into little pieces in your mind.

He chuckles. “I’ll have you know, I have a huge dick and probably get more action than you– Ms. Hello Kitty panties,” he smirks at you as you gasped. “You fucking creep!” a loud sound erupted into the room.

You had just smacked him in the face. Heeseung knew he had that coming. You couldn’t believe this was your Heeseung. Someone definitely replaced the Heeseung you knew with a terrible good for nothing clone.

But why were you still so attracted to him?

Heeseung rubs the side of his face that was inflicted. “Can’t handle the truth can you, can’t believe your little boyfriend lets you out looking like that,” he said, rolling his eyes at you. Puzzled, you furrowed your brows together trying to figure out what he meant. Boy… friend? Then it hits you.

Sunoo. You couldn’t believe what you just heard. Heeseung thinks Sunoo is your boyfriend. Forgetting all that just occurred, you pull back and let out the loudest laugh in his face, clutching your stomach. You couldn’t believe he thought Sunoo was your boyfriend. “You really are so stupid,” you said, wiping a tear away.

Heeseung’s face heats up a bit as he pouts, what could’ve possibly been so funny. “Yeah, my “boyfriend” let’s me out like this, because he’s not actually my boyfriend,” you said with finger quotes on the word boyfriend. Why was he so worked up over Sunoo anyways?

“Then who is he to you, he’s in all of your pictures,” he crosses his arms at you. You raise an eyebrow, confused as to why he was pressing. “Um, that’s my best friend, he lives in your old house…,” you trailed, feeling a bit awkward bringing up the fact that his old place of residence was now occupied by some boy he knows nothing about.

Heeseung’s eye twitches just a bit, a weird feeling bubbles within him. So you did replace him and better yet, replace him with another boy that lives in his old home. He felt as if you just kicked him in the face.

“Was I nothing to you? What are you gonna marry him now? I look better anyways,” he disgustingly lets out at you. Was he jealous? You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“You were the one that ghosted me, let’s not forget that now,” you said back sternly. The way his eyes darkened at you, made your knees a bit weak. He strides towards you, causing you to walk backwards, the back of your legs hitting your bed as you stumble on, Heeseung towering over you.

Voice dropping as he looked down at you on your bed, he spoke up. “It’s not like it mattered anyways, seems like you were out here dressed like a whore, leading every boy on.” Your eyes meet his, he leans down, you can feel his breath on your face.

“Bet you wanted me to look at you anyways, I bet you like the attention,” he whispers in your ear. Tingles run through your entire body. Without thought, you squeezed your thighs together to feel a little friction. You were getting turned on. He lingers just a little as he reaches his hand up to hold your chin, making sure you looked him in the eyes. Your breathing increases as you start to realize how close he was to you. This had to be a dream. He inches his face closer to yours, the scent of your strawberry like perfume fills his nose. You have always smelt sweet. It was intoxicating to him. You close your eyes, hoping this wasn’t real. He looks down at your lips before taking a slight breath in.

His lips landed onto yours. Your eyes widened, not believing this was happening. You quickly close them again, giving into the kiss. He smirks against your lips, deepening the kiss, his hand still holding your face up. He pulls away, pushing you down. You scoot up a bit, as he climbs onto your bed, now hovering over you.

You felt so small under him. Your eyes fluttered as he stared down at you. A wave of embarrassment wash over you as you bring your arm up to cover your face. He pulls your arm away, eyes hungry for you. He leans back down, pulling you into another heated kiss as he puts his knee in between your legs, opening them slightly. The friction catching you off guard, you let out a small moan. His dick twitches, you start to grind a little on his leg. He moves his hand down to caress your side, bringing it up to give your boob a squeeze over your shirt.

You gasped, taken by surprise. He takes the chance to stick his tongue into your mouth, your panties growing wetter by the minute. Mission “forget about Heeseung” was no longer there. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in. Everything felt so hot and fuzzy, you had long forgotten the things he had said earlier. Heeseung pulls away, moving his mouth to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses. You squirm under him, trying your hardest to keep quiet. He chuckles.

“We just met again after so long, and you’re really letting me do this to you right now while our parents are downstairs?” he spoke against you, he trails his hand down and in between your legs. “You aren’t really helping your case of being a little slut now– are you?”

Your face turns red, unable to speak. He was right, you guys had barely said anything to each other and here you are letting him touch you after all the nasty things he said earlier. It was Lee Heeseung after all. The one and only boy who managed to make you feel every and all emotions in this world. Your body easily gave in as if this was what it's been waiting for.

His fingers stroke the outside of your panties, you were already soaked. He rubs his finger up and down your panties, feeling the dampness as he reaches his other hand up to your corset top, conveniently having a zipper on the front, he unzips your top, your boobs spilling out. “No bra? You really are just a slut.”

At this point, he was painfully hard. He gropes one of your breasts as he leans down, taking the other into your mouth. He sucks on your nipple as he rubs circles on your clit, still clothed by your panties. You reach your hand over your mouth, covering it as your moans gradually get louder. The room felt hot and heavy, you couldn’t help yourself as you moaned his name, pleasure overfilled your body.

“H-Heeseung… Hee… please…,” you softly cried out. He moans into your breast, pushing your panty to the side, he feels your wetness in its entirety. His fingers slide up and down your slit as he takes his mouth off of your nipple, eyes on you.

Fuck, you looked too hot. He couldn’t believe he was doing these things to you right now. He pulls you into another sloppy kiss. He inserts his finger into your hole, a moan erupting out of you as he starts to thrust his hand. You were so wet and he needed to take you right now. The thought of you both potentially getting caught as your parents were just downstairs, turned him on even more. He pulls away, taking your fucked out expression in. He adds in another finger.

“Oh my god,” you moaned, blushing as you caught his eye. Lust overtook him as he increased the pace of his hand, pumping his fingers in and out of you as if his life depended on it. He curled his fingers within you, earning a loud squeal from you. He smirks.

“Y/n, you gotta keep your voice down, you don’t want your parents coming up here seeing their sweet little daughter like this, now do you?” he menacingly asked. Your cute little moans were enough to almost make him burst all over you. His pants were getting too tight for his liking. He needed to have you.

You were lost and flustered. His fingers so deep into you, you felt your climax was close. “Faster… please H-Hee…,” you moan, stuttering from the sensation. “S-So c-close, I’m so close.”

With his free hand, he reaches up, grabbing your face. “Look at me while you cum Y/n, I need to see your fucked out face,” his said, his deep voice making you clench around his fingers. Your moans start to increase again, he puts his hand over your mouth, trying to suppress the volume. With one more pump, you cream all over his fingers, screams of his name muffled against his hand as he rides out your high with his fingers. He takes his hand off, allowing you to finally breathe and catch your breath. Eyes hazy as you pant. He pulls his fingers out of you, taking them up to his mouth, sucking on his own fingers and tasting your cum.

“Fuck, you taste so good Y/n,” he said, leaning down kissing you, letting you have a taste of yourself. Pulling back, he leans his forehead on yours, taking in what he just did with you. Silence filled the room, your cheeks heated up as you looked away from him. Your heart wanted to jump out of your chest.

You just let Lee Heeseung finger you.

And you liked it.

Before you both could even muster up words to say, yells of Heeseung’s name were heard from downstairs. He stands up quickly, taking in the way you were on your bed one last time. Man did he love that skirt on you. He adjusts his hoodie, pulling it down more to cover his raging boner. Without a word, he takes his leave, leaving you there on your bed. Tits out, panties filled with your own cum, skirt hiked up, and flustered. You hastily sit up, zipping your top back up. Like the entire day, the feeling of needing to throw up reemerges. You reach your own hand down, feeling the wetness still there. This definitely was not a dream. Heeseung just fingered you.

Lee Heeseung was here and he just fingered you.

You grab your pillow, groaning as you slam your head repeatedly down onto it.

How the hell did you end up here?

Heeseung’s heart was beating so fast. He ran down your stairs, almost running into his own mother as she was putting her shoes on by the door.

“Woah, slow down son,” she laughs. He mutters a sorry as he turns to bid your parents a goodbye. He makes his way out of your house needing a breath of fresh air, still painfully hard. He picks up his bike from the side of your porch and makes his way off of your driveway and down the road, leaving his parents there puzzled as to why he was in such a hurry. He needed to get home now.

Thankfully, his house wasn’t too far from yours, just being down the street by the basketball court. He threw his bike onto his lawn as he hurriedly tried to fish his house keys out of his pocket. Opening the door, he quickly shuts it behind him as he runs up the stairs and to his room. He locks the door. He needed to let one out while the image of you was fresh in his mind.

Heeseung strips himself of his clothes, leaving him in just his boxers. He jumps into his bed, laying his head onto his pillow, palming himself through his boxers. Before getting started, he hears his parents enter the home. He waits until they make their way into their room, settling in for the night. After a bit of time had passed, he deemed it safe enough to finally start his session. He palms himself once more, squeezing his length through his boxers.

He couldn’t believe you actually let him finger you. He takes the hand he used to finger you with, bringing his fingers up to his nose, taking a whiff of what was there of your essence. His dick twitched. You smelled delicious. Not being able to take it any longer, he pulls his boxers down, his cock slapping down onto his abdomen, pre cum already leaking from his tip. He spits into his hand, carefully reaching down to his cock, giving it a stroke.

Thoughts of you fill his mind. Images of what just happened flipped through his head like a slideshow. He strokes up and down, remembering the way your tits looked amazing. Your moans replay over and over again. He gives his tip a squeeze and continues on stroking his cock to you. His eyes remain closed as he tries his hardest to keep you there. He strokes hard and fast as he can almost still hear you moaning his name over and over again.

He groans, wishing you were here to help him out. He thinks about how warm and wet your mouth would feel around him. He wishes so badly he got to feel your pussy around his cock, squeezing him the way you suffocated his fingers within you.

“Fuck… Y/n,” he moans to himself, speed increasing. That damn skirt of yours. Next time he knew he had to have you bent over the nearest surface, pumping his cock deep into your pussy. If there was even a next time.

You were driving him insane. His orgasm getting closer and closer, he gives a few more pumps, ropes of his own cum spilling all over his chest as he lets out curses of your name. He laid there, panting and trying to catch his breath.

This summer was going to be the death of him.

The next day rolls around a little too fast for your liking. The events of last night, replaying in your head over and over again. You wanted to go to the nearest bridge and jump off.

The boy you have been crying over for years was just here… in your house… and he fingered you.

Your anxiety has been eating away at you since the moment you woke up. Your friends were on their way to your house, any minute now. Thankfully, Sunoo slept over his grandparents and agreed to go pick up the two girls before making his way here.

After Heeseung had left last night, you immediately looked for your phone, opening up your messages to tell them what just happened. Thinking about it makes you want to run away forever.

Y/n sent a message to group “fuck heeseung!”

Y/n: guys … something just happened…

Karina: what’s up babe?

Sunoo: u good?

Ningning: ???

Y/n: uhhhhhhhh……

Sunoo: bitch if u dont just spit it out! 😒

Y/n: heeseung just fingered me in my room

Sunoo: WTF

Karina: WTF

Ningning: WTF

Ningning: this bitch done took the gc name srsly my gawdddd 😭

Having sent that text, you immediately threw your phone, ignoring the spam texts and calls your friends were sending your way. You could not handle your emotions as you went to get ready to sleep only to wake up to threats from your friends telling you they’re breaking into your house tomorrow and making you spill the tea. You lay there on your bed, covering your face with your hands. One of these days you were really going to throw up all over the place.

Your thoughts were soon broken as you heard loud knocks coming from downstairs. You hear muffles of your friends greeting your mother as she opens the door for her and then asking where you were. You wish you could just cast a spell like Alex Russo and disappear yourself out of here. Rushed footsteps head their way to you and your door was thrown open. You uncover your face and quickly sit up, patting your lap as your friends stare back at you, their arms crossed.

“Heyyyyyyy…,” you said, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood, tucking your hair behind your ears, giving them a toothy exaggerated smile. This is the part where you wish you could spontaneously combust. Karina closes your door as Sunoo walks to sit on the bed with you and Ningning occupies the beanbag on your floor. Karina sits on the ground next to her. All eyes on you.

“So… how are you guys,” you sheepishly said, rubbing the back of your neck. They all roll their eyes simultaneously growing impatient.

“How are we? Bitch how are you?!” Karina shouts at you. You pick up the Hello Kitty squish next to you, slamming your face into it and groaning. “If you don’t hurry and get to the detai–,” you cut her off.

“I will! Okay! So like you see…,” they inch closer towards you, not wanting to miss a single detail as mission “forget about Heeseung” was now compromised. You sighed, taking in a deep breath. It was now or never.

“Okay so you see what had happened was… Heeseung’sfamilyhadmovedbacktotheneighborhoodandtheycameoverand–,” you were interrupted. “Oh my god Y/n slow the hell down, you know I can’t think!” Ningning exclaims, annoyed at your tactics.

“Okay.. okay… so… Heeseung’s family had moved back to the neighborhood–,”

“So they were the “special guest” your mom had told you about?” Sunoo interjected. You nod. “Okay, carry on.”

“Right so, since his family had moved back… that means he’s back… and–,”

“Now how did this get to him fingering you?” Karina speaks up.

“I’m getting there woman! Okay so–,”

“Damn Sunoo you missed out on seeing this motherfucker,” Ningning interrupts once more. “Right? Like I was just thinki–,” Now you were the one to cut Sunoo off. “Are ya’ll going to let me finish my story or what?” you annoyedly sighed. The two mumble small “sorry’s” as they allow you to continue.

“Alright so, my parents invited them to stay for dinner, Heeseung wasn’t there yet and turns out he was the guy me and Noo saw riding his bike down our road,” you start off, palms getting sweaty. “THAT WAS HIM?” Sunoo shouts back at you, hand covering his mouth. “He was so cute.”

“Anyways,” you continued. “He shows up, kinda an asshole now, he practically ignored me all dinner until my parents forced me to bring him to my room and then things got a little… you know… heated… and he uhh… you know, did what he did to me,” you shyly finished as all the blood within you started to rush to the apples of your cheeks. You looked down onto your lap. “He was really mean… but he was so hot… I’m not sure what happened but he went from calling me a slut, to getting weird over thinking Noo was my boyfriend, me yelling at him, and then BAM! His fingers made their way in me I guess…,” you finished off. You look up, catching your friends' confused stares. Sunoo bursts into a fit of laughter.

“He thought I was your boyfriend? Y/n he was so jealous, like seriously, he finger fucked you because he was jealous you were around another boy!” Sunoo says through his laughter. You smack him with your squish, throwing punches at him after. “Well yeah and you’re sitting right where it happened,” you yelled at him. He gagged, disgusted he pushed you off of him and took a seat on the floor next to the two girls. He shook his whole body, cringing.

“Wait a minute, he called you a slut? Like in a “you’re so hot you belong to me” type of way or “you’re a slut and you need to stop looking like how you look” way?” Karina asks, genuinely concerned over the fact that this dude potentially hurt your feelings. You scratch your head.

“Um… the second one…,” you trailed. Karina gets a bit heated. Her feelings towards this dude grow sour as the seconds pass. She hated him already. She lets out a heavy sigh. “You can’t be serious and you let him touch you after all of this?” She says with a disgusted tone paired with an equally expressive disgusted face. “When I get my hands on this guy, I’m gon–,” you cut her off.

“Rina, seriously it’s okay… everything just happened so fast, I’m not really sure how to feel but I also didn’t hate it,” you painfully admitted. The shame inside of you spilling out of your pores as you try to figure out a way to justify what you did. There was no justification. This was all way too complicated.

“Y/n… this is the guy you have liked forever… and he ghosted you… if it were me, i would’ve been beating the shit out of him and not letting him put some fingers up my cooch,” Ningning spoke up, shrugging her shoulders.

“Well I did slap him across his face,” you nonchalantly throw out. “You did what?” Sunoo said, raising an eyebrow genuinely interested. You roll your eyes at him.

“So… did you even get his number to like… you know talk about all of… this,” Karina asked. She just wanted the best for you but you just alway seem to dig yourself into the biggest holes known to man. You let out a chuckle.

“About that… no…,” you muttered out. Karina picks up the nearest plush she saw that was on your floor and throws it at your head. “You are so stupid sometimes, you know that right Y/n?” she tiredly said. If she gets the chance to ever see Heeseung, she made a mental note to have a long talk with him. He could not get away with these shenanigans, she did not care how much he meant to you.

“Oh yeah… and he’s going to be attending Decelis–,” this time it was Ningning throwing a plush at you, interrupting your nonsense. “It just keeps getting better and better!” Sunoo sarcastically lets out.

Sighing you felt exhausted, mentally and physically. This whole situation makes you want to pull your hair out of your head. But before forgetting, the thought of the barbeque comes to your mind. “Also, his family is hosting a BBQ this weekend, they said I could invite you guys– but only if you were interested!” you hurriedly finished the last part, worried they were going to throw anything else at you. Ningning and Sunoo shoot up from their seats.

“Def def def going! If he’s as cute as y’all make him to be, he’s bound to have even cuter friends to invite,” Ningning giggles, fantasizing about the potential boys Heeseung could be inviting. “Maybe they’re gonna be going to DU too~,” the bubbly girl sings. You all roll your eyes at her. She has always been a hopeless romantic.

“I’m just nosy and I’d love to see how this all plays out,” Sunoo lets out, Ningning agreeing with him also. You all turned to Karina, she seemed indifferent.

“So Rina bear… do you want to come too? I’m making my tiramisu for the occasion~,” her face lights up, you can see the twinkle in her eyes. “Okay, but… I can’t promise i”ll behave,” she said, crossing her arms, sticking her tongue out at you. You jump up with joy, jumping onto them and onto the floor, pulling them all into a tight group hug.

“I love you guys so much, now let’s go get ice cream or something, I'm craving something sweet!” You excitedly exclaim. Sunoo snickers. “Yeah Heeseung already gave you something sweet last nigh–OW!” you smack the back of his head before he could even finish his sentence. With that, you all get up, making your way outside and to Sunoo’s car.

“Alright, where are we heading?” Sunoo asks you guys. Ningning speaks up from the backseat. “Ooh, to that taiyaki ice cream place, you know, the one past the basketball court down there!” Everyone agrees as Sunoo pulls out of his driveway.

Unbeknownst to all of you, Heeseung has been at the basketball court since the morning, playing some rounds with his friends. As Sunoo drives down the road, he suddenly lets out a gasp, slowing his car down.

“OH EM GEE… Y/n is that Heeseung?” He asked, pointing his finger towards the basketball court. “Oh em gee, WHERE?” Ningning yells, rolling her window down, Sunoo does the same.

There Heeseung was, in a simple baggy white tee and gray sweatpants. “Wow Y/n… he’s so hot,” Ningning gasps. “And so are his friends! If those are the ones going to the BBQ, I call dibs on the blond one, he looks like a puppy,” she finishes.

“Fuck are they looking at us?” Karina asked, her eyes bulging out of her face. Your face heats up, there Heeseung was, stopped in his tracks, eyebrow cocked as he makes eye contact with you through Sunoo’s car. You wanted to jump out of the car and run away. All of his friends were staring back, looking to see what had caught their friend’s eye.

Of course they were, Sunoo and Ningning were not helping the situation. Who wouldn’t notice a bright red car, slowly driving down a quiet street as some weirdos stare at them from inside. To your surprise, Ningning catches the attention of the blond one, giggling as she winked, blowing him a kiss, he winks back at her. Karina pulls her back from the window, smacking her upside her head as she rolls the window back up.

Sunken down onto your seat, the embarrassment was eating away at you as you oh so desperately wanted to throw up all over the interior of Sunoo’s car. You groan, covering your face, your friends really had to make things even weirder for you. Sunoo steps on the gas as he tries to get you guys out of this awkward situation ASAP. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way you looked in the passenger seat next to him. You ignore him, pulling your phone out to scroll through whatever social media app your finger clicked first. An instagram notification catches your eye.

“heesoswag1015” wants to send you a message!

You click on the notification, leading you to your requests box. Your heart is still racing, you click the accept button. The color drains from your face.

heesoswag1015: stalker much?

heesoswag1015: anyways my friend jake told me to tell u that your friend is really hot

heesoswag1015: and that you’re really fucking weird

You were definitely not looking forward to the weekend.

#♡; enwrites fics #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #heeseung smut #heeseung x reader #heeseung x you #heeseung imagines #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung hard hours #jake smut #jay smut #sunghoon smut #fanfiction #enha smut #enhypen x y/n

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bettyfrommars · 12 days

Text

Death Becomes Us

vampire!Eddie x supernatural!Reader

Part 11: Strange Blood

masterlist playlist

18+only, smut, unprotected piv, oral, blood drinking, mind-bending moments, supernatural elements, vampires, fear of the unknown. Hopper and vampire!Joyce, werewolf!Steve, and a few others.

word count: 12.4k

Summary: All I can say is that this is another wild one, lmao. Not an action-packed rollercoaster like the previous chapter, but definitely some odd things going on. You know me, it gets a bit wacky. It's been my honor to be on this journey with you, and I hope you enjoy this final chapter. I love you, dear readers.

A/N: Hi everyone who has patiently waited for more of this story, Betty finally did it! I had a hard time coming back to this one only because I wasn't sure in which direction I wanted to take it. Oh, and also, I forgot how to write there for a while but anyway, the previous chapter was such chaos, and I wanted to take them in a different direction, so I did. Although this is the end of the series, there is still plenty I want to write for the True Blood universe, so this will not be the end.

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this picks up right where part 10 left off

“I have dreams about you too, you know,” Eddie said softly from the edge of the bed. Shirtless and quickly healing after the bullets were removed, he used both hands to pull his hair into a ponytail, and then released it.

Sweat bloomed on your scalp, and all you could do was swallow thickly, spinning on your heel to head for the hallway.

“I’m sorry if what I said was too much,” you babbled in a rush. “We can just forget—”

Eddie hopped up to snatch your hand. “Hey wait—don’t,” he heard the harsh desperation in his voice and then softened it to a whisper. “Please.”

You stopped in your tracks and let him tug you backwards slowly, step by step.

Before he could put his arm around your waist, you turned on a dime, sliding fingers along the cool ripples of his ribs, watching his parted lips, the way his breath hitched in surprise. It felt like there was no time and no distance in between his mouth and yours; suddenly they clashed together and your hand made a fist in his hair.

He wasn’t expecting it, but neither were you, and it was a breathless, awkward meeting of teeth for a moment. Stumbling back so that his legs hit the back of the bed frame, Eddie toppled to the mattress, taking you with him.

You weren’t sure if it was the tension that had been building between the two of you, or the adrenaline from the recent vampire massacre that happened right outside your door, but you devoured each other like it was the last day of immortality.

For as much of a prick as he could be out in the real world, Eddie was gentle and eager, taking your clothes off with trembling hands so that he didn’t rip them before he tasted you from face to hip, kissing down the jagged scar on your sternum while you clung to his head and writhed.

It was more than foreplay to him; his attention was a form of worship, the next best thing to running his mouth was filling it full of you.

You clawed at his belted black jeans and he smiled against your kiss. “So, does this mean you like me?”

Your eyes locked while you helped to push his denim jeans down to his hips, your heart in your throat. “You need me to say it?”

“You don’t have to, but I’ll say it,” he lifted up on his forearms, his hair tickling your cheeks from the way he hovered over you, one dimple popping up from his crooked smile. “I really really dig you.”

“Show me,” you whispered, lifting to slide your nose along his, making a shiver run through him.

“As you wish, m’lady,” he chuckled, pushing his jeans all the way off and kicking them to the side with such force that they hit the wall.

He had no right to be so gorgeous, you thought, running hungry hands down the icy, tattooed flesh of his stomach where the bullet holes had already healed. A single whisper of, “I wanted this for so long,” came out in a breathy whisper when he intertwined his fingers with yours.

Being pressed up against your skin made him feel like he was standing too close to a raging bonfire, like maybe his body hairs would get singed. He wanted to beg you to leave a mark on him; the branding iron of your touch to claim his animated corpse.

He made you come with his mouth first, growling into you as you shook and fluttered on his tongue. His skill level suggested that it was not his first rodeo by far, but you could tell he was listening and learning about the things that felt best to you, the right speed and pressure that made you cry out his name and claw at his skin. He wanted to please you—more than that, Christ—he wanted to be the only one.

Eddie fucked you into next week. Each of you were sweaty and depraved, but his saliva felt like melting ice, and you could almost hear it sizzle when it met your heat. Tongues wrestling together, moaning sweet and filthy things until you were bouncing on top of him, hips snapping up to meet you, cumming so hard you thought you might explode into vapor.

His fangs latched onto the side of your throat after you begged for it, making everything messy and sticky. You liked hearing the way he whined when the tang of your blood hit his tongue, the way he fed from your vein, sealing the wound with a few kitten licks. At one point, with crimson dripping down either side of his chin, he was taking you from behind and his hips stuttered.

“Roll over,” he rumbled. “I need to see you.”

And that was how he came, buried deep with his eyes locked on yours, spilling every drop until he was almost convulsing. He sliced a cut on his chest with the fingernail of his thumb, and coaxed you up to drink from him, moaning at your insatiable hunger, the way you moaned into him.

Eddie might’ve been lost in the heat of the moment, but he knew what he felt for you was more than just… “like”. His head spun when you whimpered things like, “deeper Eddie, cum inside of me.”

It’d been years since he’d slept with someone he cared about, but even then, it wasn’t like with you. He’d never seen anything as beautiful as the gentle kisses you planted on his palm before sucking his fingers while you rode him.

Yeah, he had it bad for you.

Neither of you bothered to clean up once the pace began to slow down. He rolled onto his side to make out with you with dried blood in the corner of his mouth, not ready to end what you just shared, for fear it would never happen again.

No one who mattered ever stuck around.

He ran a tender thumb over the scar on your cheek that was also caked with a line of crimson. “So, you were in a…car accident?” He asked in a whisper.

“Apparently I died,” you laughed to soften the harsh truth of it. “My father tried…” you trailed off, and Eddie was about to say you didn’t have to talk about it, but then you continued. “I guess you could say he exchanged his life for mine.”

“I wish I could’ve met him,” he trailed off, tracing your eyebrow with his finger. He interlocked his fingers with one of your hands and held it to his chest. “Tell him how grateful I am.”

“He would’ve liked you,” the thought of never being about to introduce Eddie to your father made tears swell. Eddie scooped you closer, pulling your leg up by the crook of your knee to wrap your thigh over the sticky length of his cock.

“This is nice,” he hummed, eyelids flickering shut to the feeling of your warm breath on his shoulder. “Stay with me for a minute?”

The two of you dozed off, and you awoke to Eddie shooting upright into a seated position with a jolt.

“Shit, it’ll be dawn soon,” he hissed, head spinning to look at the digital alarm clock by your bed.

You sat up too, looking at the big window with thin white curtains that could never block the potentially murderous rays of the sun.

“I could cover it with…something else? A comforter?” You hurried to shuffle off the mattress, suddenly panicked at the thought of what would happen if he was exposed to daylight.

He was up and yanking his jeans on. “These windows are a death trap,” but then a thought made him smile to himself. “I guess if my time comes, I’d want it to be with you.”

“Your time has NOT come, okay?” You hastily pulled a t-shirt on from one of your drawers. “I refuse to let the best sex of my life go without a fight.”

He cocked his head with a blushing smirk and repeated his question from earlier. “Does that mean you like me?”

“Stop it,” you playfully shoved him on your way by, scooting a pair of shorts up your hips. “This is serious.”

“Oh it’s very serious,” and then he caught your hips with both hands before you could get too far away and pulled you back.

“Let’s get you to a safe place first,” you muttered against his lips. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

A loud thud banged on the roof like a good sized rock landed from the sky, and you both knew it was Bela returning from wherever she’d been for the past few hours to avoid the danger. When You turned the light on in the living room, Dio stretched and yawned from her position curled up on the arm of the couch.

From where you stood at the mouth of the hallway near the kitchen, you could see the front of Eddie’s trailer through the courtyard facing window. A few steps more and you could see half of it, somehow unscathed by the fire.

Surely, your eyes were playing tricks on you.

Maybe it was the backside that had been affected by the flames? Maybe it was still too dark to see, but the sun would be up soon enough—

“Eddie?” You motioned for him to follow you, to see what you were seeing, and then you stood side by side, dumfounded.

Surely, most of his house should’ve been nothing but a pile of charred wreckage.

An eerie feeling of fear washed over you, making your eyes dart over to the television screen, waiting for a face to appear like Brenner’s had the night before.

“Something’s wrong,” you whispered. “How could your trailer survive the fire without a scratch?”

Eddie’s pinky hooked onto yours when he couldn’t find the words.

You let out a heavy sigh a beat later when you figured it out. “This is another dream, isn’t it? Of course it is.”

“No, no way,” he shook his head, paying attention to the horizon that would soon light up with his demise. “There’s no way we would be in the same dream like this. This is real.”

Seeing Bela sail in the front door and land clunkily on the top of the TV gave you a huge amount of relief. You patted the top of her smooth head a few times, thankful to have her as a constant.

“Be right back,” Eddie said just before he did that vampire thing and zipped outside at the speed of light. You watched him dart in and out of his trailer, and then he was back at your side again.

“That’s my trailer, all right,” hands crossed over his chest, he gnawed his lower lip in contemplation. “Nothing’s missing, nothing was burned. Even my guitar is over there, when I know I brought her here. Doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

“No it doesn’t,” you agreed softly. You should’ve been grateful his trailer was untouched, but instead it filled you with dread.

Eddie turned, eyes narrowing on the deep orange creeping over the mountains.

“I need to get underground,” he started looking around, like maybe he could dig a quick hole in the floor. Instead, he went over to the western style couch with wagon wheels and cowboys on the upholstery and inspected it.

“Have you ever checked behind here?” He asked.

“No,” you frowned. “Why would I?”

In one effortless swoop, he moved the piece of furniture away from the wall and then stood back.

There was a door built into the carpeted floor near the wall, complete with a handle and lock. At first you couldn't see it, because it was covered in orange shag to match the rest of the living room. You rested your tongue between your teeth, dumbfounded.

“Yeah so that’s a Sunlight Safe Room,” he scratched his head. “They were built into all of the trailers way back in the day. I just never thought to check for yours until now.”

He pushed the couch to the middle with Dio still asleep on the armrest. “Call me paranoid, but I don’t want to be too far from you,” he knelt to open it. “I can stay out of the sun here, if that’s okay?”

You were tempted to “go to rest” with him just so he wouldn’t somehow disappear like the evidence of the fire had. Inside the hatch were ten metal steps downward that opened to a modest concrete area with a twin mattress on the floor.

It looked creepy as hell, like something you’d see in a horror movie like Silence of the Lambs.

“I’ll get you a pillow,” you turned, but he called your name.

“There’s no time,” he was halfway down the steps. “I’ll see you after dusk, okay?”

You didn’t know why you were so afraid to be without him, but you nodded.

“I’ll lock it from the inside,” he said as he pulled the door down and descended. “Stay safe okay? I’ll still be able to feel you if you’re in danger.”

He wanted to say something else to you, words that were clenching on his heart, but then worried it might be too soon.

Bela threw her head back and screeched, stretching out her wings.

“Okay.” You gulped. “I’ll miss you.”

He smiled generously at that, just as the neon light of morning blossomed over the trailer park and you heard the click of the lock on the inside of his…what would you call it? Tomb? No, it was a Vampire Safe Room.

You shifted the sofa back in place and crossed your arms over your chest to stand and stare out the window at the untouched gnome on Eddie’s front steps, still flipping you the bird.

If only its impish mouth could talk.

—-------

After dozing off on the sofa above Eddie for a few hours, you snapped awake flooded with fear that everything had gone back to “normal”. But the door in the floor was still there, and Eddie was still in it; you could hear him snort-snore every so often. The sound made you feel a tidal wave of relief.

If you’d somehow slipped into another dimension, at least you still had Eddie.

You took Dio back over to Eddie’s untouched trailer, just in case Bela forgot her manners, and you asked your demobat companion to keep an eye on Eddie while you were gone. She chirped a few times, swaying back and forth to let you know she understood while she munched on chopped up bananas. She wasn’t very hungry, but the claws on her wings had a hint of blood on them, and you figured she found something to eat in the woods, but you didn’t want to know what.

You hadn’t touched your Polaroid camera in a while, but you used it to snap a photo of Bela then, with her gnarly grin stuffed with banana mash, and then you clapped the land camera shut and put it in your bag.

There was not a single thing amiss in the courtyard of the Crimson Terrace trailer park. No blood in the dead grass, no tracks from all of the vehicles and the crowds, and your hearse did not have a single new scratch.

You shot a glance over your shoulder where Bela perched in the window, wondering if it was a good idea to leave Eddie defenseless like that with how weird everything was. You shivered and zipped up the rest of your hoodie.

On your way around to unlock the driver’s door, your landlord Dolores spotted you from four trailers away and came out to wave you down. She wore one of her signature muumuus with pink curlers in her short, auburn hair. .

You flinched as you walked up her three steps to the small porch, thinking she’d interrogate you about all of the chaos, or have an issue with you spending time with your vampire neighbor.

But it wasn’t a scolding she wanted to give you; it was a letter.

Adressed to you with no return address, the envelope was weathered yellow like it had traveled across the ocean by rowboat, and then the rest of the way by horse and buggy. She’d found it on her doorstep that morning.

“Thanks,” you said absently, turning it over in your hand as you walked off. You waited until you were safely behind the wheel and down the street before you opened it, trembling.

The piece of parchment inside was wispy thin, but the date was somehow...exactly a year from the day you were in.

That had to be a mistake. The person just messed up the numbers, it happens.

You’re probably very co fused right ow.

That was how the letter started.

You stared at the words with dry, unblinking eyes, noticing that the letter “n” was missing from the typeset.

You folded the paper over in your lap and checked to see if anyone was nearby watching. You bit on the cuticle of your pinky finger for a few seconds before opening it again.

You’re i a slightly differe t timeli e ow. That’s all I ca say without revealing too much. Ma y thi gs will be differe t, but some will be the same.

A laugh bubbled in your throat; one of those insane laughs appropriate for absolute absurd things. It had to be a joke, one that you did not find particularly amusing.

A different timeline? How was that even possible? You’d been introduced to many odd things you never previously believed existed, but this one was a little more difficult to wrap your brain around.

Whe the time is right, everything will be revealed. U til the , stay safe.

It wasn’t signed, and there was no hint as to who or where it had come from.

You turned the weathered, creased paper over as if there might be a photo of the author, and then you stared out the dirty windshield, letting it sink in.

The most bonkers thing about it was that it actually made sense. It was the only possible explanation for there being no sign of any of the wreckage from the night before.

If it wasn’t a joke, then who was this messenger committed to giving you a heads up?

Tucking the letter into your bag with a hard swallow, you cranked the radio up on the way into town, headed to Main Vein. The trees were bare, and the sky was heavy with clouds, hiding a dollop of egg yolk sun behind their veil. You’d drop in to get your new schedule from Bob, and perhaps see if the town of Hawkins had changed.

You caught sight of Argyle’s VW beetle parked down a side street and smiled to yourself, knowing at least that was a constant. Main Vein was still housed in the same building, but the red neon sign in the window said VEIN ON MAIN instead. .

Robin’s bookstore appeared to have a quaint cafe attached to it. You were able to get a glimpse of her there, sitting at a small, round sidewalk table. Her hair was longer, worn in a ponytail, and she held hands with the other woman across from her. At their feet was the tan pit bull terrier who had helped you defeat the Klemps all of those months ago in the alley.

At least it looked like the same dog.

Would they remember you at Main Vein? Or…Vein on Main?

You drove around the block and then parked at the curb, the same place you’d parked the hearse the day of your first interview with Bob Newby.

The Main Vein you remembered had floor to ceiling windows in front that were covered in dark velvet blackout curtains during the day, but this space had a red brick front with two small windows painted black and a red door. The windows each had neon signs in them: one for Pabst Blue Ribbon, and one for the synthetic vampire blood called NuBlood.

The black door opened to a space the size of a generous closet facing another door. There was a gumball machine, a stack of local newspapers, and a guy on a stool reading what appeared to be a paperback romance novel. One of those bodice ripping ones with the dramatic covers. He had one foot planted on the ground, while the booted heel of the other hooked onto a rung on the stool.

His honey brown hair looked like it had been styled with a blow dryer, and he wore a pair of sunglasses pushed up to his forehead, even though he had no use for them since it was fairly dark in that nook.

He glanced up bored at first, but then straightened when he saw you.

“It’s you,” Steve beamed, folding the corner of a page in his book to save his spot. “I didn’t think you were on the clock today?”

Your mind froze. So, Steve was your coworker in this new timeline? You tried not to let your brain short-circuit over this new information.

At least you could be comforted by the fact that you still had employment.

“Wait, what is your job again?” You asked, looking around the space between the two doors.

He gave you a side-eye as if you were fucking with him. “I’ve been the bouncer for a few weeks now. Argyle got me the job, remember?”

“Oh right, oh sure,” you nodded wildly a few times.

“Are you feeling okay?” His look was one of genuine concern.

“I’m good, I promise.” You offered a flat smile that did not reach your eyes. “But is it okay if I ask you another potentially really stupid question?”

“Shoot.” He crossed his booted feet at the ankles in front of him, leaning back.

“Did we…did we ever…” you bit the inside of your cheek. “Did we ever…go on a date? To see a movie?”

Steve scratched his stubbled chin. “Well I wouldn’t call it a date-date, but I was a third wheel with you and Erica that night Robin bailed on me.”

“And you’re still…also a werewolf, right?” Now the absurd questions were just flying out.

He tilted his head, and his eyes glowed red for a second as an answer. “Last I checked.”

“Okay, good.”

“You sure you’re alright?”

“Maybe not?” You shrugged. “But I’ll be okay. Is Bob here?”

“Think so,” he was about to say more, but just as your hand was on the door to go in, the outside door began to open, and he hopped up. “Hold on, there,” he told the person outside, pulling the door shut again. “Only one door can open at a time.”

“Now you can go,” he nodded, gesturing for you to enter. You didn’t confirm it, but figured that it was a safety measure to keep sunlight off of the vampires that were possibly inside.

Inside Vein on Main looked like a casino with various shades of burgundy and neon red. No natural light, but the mirrored bar was backlit, and there were stained glass lamp shades hanging down over the dark booths to your right. A synth-wave techno beat thumped from unseen speakers as curls of smoke from the end of cigarettes gathered into a gray cloud. At the far back was a pool table and a stage in the corner on a riser with a bunch of musical equipment set up.

You saw Erica behind the bar, and were about to go over to say hello to her, but a cold hand clamped down on your shoulder.

“Just the one I wanted to see,” Jareth’s voice rumbled in your ear.

He was the last one you expected to bump into in a human/vampire crossover bar. He’d always been much too above such things. His blonde hair was slicked back, his blue eyes burning with intensity.

“How did you get in here in the middle of the day?”

“I have my ways,” he said cryptically. Older vampires like Jareth didn’t need to sleep as much as the younger ones, so he had more time to get up to mischief.

“No but really,” you looked him up and down, noting that he was still in the standard, fashionable Jareth attire, and then glanced around to the handful of other patrons. “What are you doing here?”

He glared at you skeptically. “Why wouldn’t I be here? This is my bar.”

“What about Sacrament?”

“It’s still there,” he crossed his arms over his chest, curious about this odd line of questioning but, he decided to indulge you. “There’s an underground tunnel that connects the two.”

The new information was all very…disorientating, to say the least. You felt like your head was spinning, like you might possibly throw up or something.

“And Bob? What did you do with him?” There was a hint of frustrated anger in your tone.

“Bob and Maxine run the place. I am more of what you would call…a silent partner.” He pushed into your space, towering over you as if he might lower his head for a kiss. “But you know this already, don’t you, Dove?”

You turned away, snatching his elbow to pull him into a booth with you. He stood fast at first, not wanting to follow, but then slowly obliged.

“Listen, this will probably sound crazy,” you started.

“Oh I have no doubt about that.” He laced his fingers together on the polished wood table top.

A long exhale and then you laced your fingers on the table. “Have you ever heard of anyone, um, jumping timelines?”

He sat back, expressionless. “Are you saying that’s what happened to you?”

“Maybe, yes, yeah,” you paused to wonder if you should tell him “I’m pretty sure know that is what happened to me, but I didn’t think it was possible.”

You told him about the past 48 hours, and about the letter you received from some unknown person.

He gave it some thought, spreading his hands out flat to tap his thumbs on the table.

“I’ve heard stories,” he appraised you with his chin tilted down. “But I’ve never met a Jumper in person.”

“Well, nice to meet you.”

“I always knew there was something about you,” he smirked. “I knew you weren’t exactly human, but could never put my finger on it.”

“Congratulations.”

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Jareth gave a micro shrug. “If somehow you stepped into a nearby timeline, I wouldn’t know how to put you back.”

“I can’t believe how calm you are about this.”

The last time you saw Jareth, he was at your trailer park ripping Brenner and the rest to shreds with the help of a swarm of other vampires. You wanted to thank him, but then realized that was from another timeline he might not remember.

Jareth continued. “Maybe you were pulled into this timeline for a reason. Maybe you weren’t meant to understand.”

You nodded absently, looking around at the new Vein on Main, feeling like you should wake up at any moment.

“You said the letter you received was dated a year from now? Ever think you might’ve written it to yourself?”

Head spinning, might definitely puke.

“Maybe something worse happens in that other timeline and you jumped over to this one to avoid disaster.”

What if something bad happened to Eddie in that other timeline…

You couldn’t get over how chill about the whole mess Jareth was being. Maybe all of the things he’d experienced in the 3,000 some years he’d been a vampire made it so nothing surprised him.

“One thing I have heard about Jumpers…” he waited to finish until a group of giggling humans walked by. “...they eventually forget about the old timeline. Somehow they assimilate to the current one and sync up with the memories. It’s likely that one day, this one will be your new normal, and the other one will feel like a dream you had.”

You weren’t sure if that should comfort you or make you cry.

“Did I at least make a move on you in that other timeline?” Jareth wet his lips while he stared at you.

“Absolutely not,” you responded with a slight roll of your eyes. “Never going to happen in this one, either.”

“Never say never,” his grin was evil in the most charming way.

All you wanted to do at that point was go back to your trailer to sit on the floor and wait for Eddie to wake up.

After a stop at the grocery store and gas station, that was exactly what you did.

—-------

The daylight seemed to last forever. You reread the mysterious letter countless times, let Bela out for a few hours of flying, watched two episodes of Outer Limits with Dio curled up in your lap purring, and paced around the house, glancing at the horizon every so often.

When the sun finally settled into a deep purple sea, you were kneeling at the front of the door when you heard the inside lock jiggle.

“You’re here,” you exhaled a long-held breath, grinning so wide it felt like your cheeks might break while you braced the door open. You also took that opportunity to snap a photo of him with your Polaroid camera, one of him with an expression caught between amusement and surprise. It would end up being one of your most cherished photos of him.

“You sound surprised,” he chuckled.

He rubbed sleep from his eyes with the knuckle of one hand as he made his way up the steps with a yawn.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile that big before,” he remarked groggily.

“I had this weird feeling you’d…disappear or something.”

“Nah,” he came up the final step and then crawled on top of you, making you go flat on the ground with a laugh, dropping the door down with a bang as you went. “You’re stuck with me now, I’m afraid.”

You held his face with both hands, enjoying the weight of his body, the soft moaning and playful flicks of his tongue on yours.

He lifted up to trace your mouth and chin with his finger. “Did you have a good day while I was asleep?”

“I really missed you.”

You tried to kiss him again, but he pulled further away, giving himself a double chin. “Does that mean you like me?”

“I’m still deciding,” your eyes were full of stars as you searched his face.

His hips rolled against you, giving away that his length was already hard, straining against his denim. You reached down to feel him, popping open two of the buttons on his jeans while you were down there.

“Yeah?” He whispered, hooking two fingers inside the leg of your loose shorts to graze your panty line. “You want this?”

“I want you,” his mouth was on yours before you could say another word, cradling his hand behind your head.

When he finally sank in with a moan, you grabbed onto his ass with both hands, urging him closer.

“I love those noises you make,” he mumbled, twitching inside of you.

Your shirt was pushed up, and you’d probably have rugburns on your back later, but right then you didn’t care. All you wanted was to be was as close to him as physically possible.

Eddie shivered when he was seated fully inside, practically purring at the way your nails scratched up his back.

“Bite me,” you gasped, offering the throbbing artery in your throat to him.

He paused, breathless, sliding his nose along your ear. “I don’t want to take too much. Last night was—-”

“Please.” You flexed and rippled around his cock, making him whine. He’d cum in two seconds if you kept doing that. “Just a quickie.”

“Just a quickie, she said,” he hummed. “Sweetheart you have no idea how true that is going to be if you keep squeezing me like that.”

The euphoria that rolled though you when he fed from your vein, coupled with the quickening of his hips when he was close made your eyes roll back in your head. He slowed down, didn’t want to finish before you, but you clamped your legs around him.

He unlatched from your throat with a hiss, fangs stained and dripping. “The things you do to me, holy shit—-”

“Wait wait,” you pulled his face back up so that he would look at you.

He stilled with a frown. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, I just wanted…” you trailed off, heart wailing like a steam engine in your chest.

Still throbbing hard inside of you, he gave a hopeful smirk. “Did you want to tell me that you like me?”

“No.” You said softly, hearing his throat click when he swallowed. “But I think I might be in love with you.”

He froze, making sure he heard you correctly, thinking about maybe asking you to say it again just so he could hear it.

He rocked further inside, smashing his mouth onto yours in a way that made you whimper, taking your hand to interlace his fingers.

“Holy shit I love you,” he panted. “I’ve never felt this way before and I should’ve told you, I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid that—-”

“Shhhh.”.

The next few hours brought more of the same, with Eddie never tiring and you craving him in a way that was animalistic. Against the wall, in the shower, on the countertop, and you were both finally able to say the words that had been bubbling up in your chest for a while.

Eddie tucked you in when you fell asleep, and then went over to his place to change clothes and call Gary to see if there was any work available at the chop shop.

For some reason, it didn’t occur to either of you to talk about why everything was different, or why his trailer wasn’t a charred wreck. He’d been shot the night before with silver bullets and almost died, but it never got brought up in conversation again.

You’d fully intended to show him the letter, to tell him about the conversation you’d had with Jareth, but then somehow it simply slipped your mind.

Bela came swooping in the next morning, yapping away like she had a story to tell, and you wished you could speak her language. You remembered the night you rescued her, on your way back from the Upside Down with Eddie.

Why had you gone to Sacrament that night? A date maybe? No, Eddie needed to talk with Jareth, that’s what it was. You were just tagging along.

While you were pondering that night, you had this sudden lightheaded feeling, stumbling over your feet before you thankfully caught yourself on the kitchen island. Making your way down the hallway to the bathroom, you felt like you were on a funhouse floor that was shifting, so you leaned into the wall to catch your bearings.

Splashing water on your face would have to do. You ran the water as cold as possible, and when you saw your reflection in the mirror, you had one of those moments when you didn’t recognize your own face.

Surely, it happens to everyone from time to time, but have your eyes always been two different colors? One was an icy blue, and the other was light green, almost hazel. As if your eyeballs belonged to two completely different people.

The scars, they were familiar. Down your chest, along your jaw, at your shoulders, at your knees and down to your right foot.

After a few deep breaths, your legs no longer felt like jello.

You found a strange typed letter in your bag, but it didn’t make any sense, so you figured it was garbage and threw it away.

—---------

Hopper roused up from a nap shirtless, still wearing his work trousers, to the smell of brown sugar baked salmon coming from the kitchen, and he sat up with a smile on his face. Scratching his head, he changed into something more comfortable; a navy tee with a front pocket and jeans.

“Smells good,” he called from the bathroom where he used a boar bristle brush on his hair and put a little cologne on. He paused to appreciate the way there were two toothbrushes in the ceramic holder by the sink.

He couldn’t believe this was his life, didn’t know what he’d done to deserve it.

He had to part a heavy floor to ceiling curtain to get to the other part of the house. It was hours from sunset, but still there was not a drop of natural light to be seen. He’d renovated half of the trailer to be daylight safe for vampires–one vampire in particular— including covering the windows with metal sheeting that could be lifted at night, if they desired.

“I hope I didn’t leave it in for too long,” Joyce fussed with the rooster print potholders, bending over to get the dish out of the oven.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he followed her over to set the dish on the table and kissed the top of her head just before she finished what she was doing to wrap her arms around him.

“What about you?” He tipped her chin up to gaze lovingly at her face. “Hungry?”

They had a case of NuBlood Type B for when she was in a pinch, but he preferred for her to have the real thing, he didn’t much care for the idea of her sustaining on that synthetic crap. So, he took his iron supplements and stayed healthy, and became her main source of food. She was never greedy, she always knew just how much to take.

But that night, he had a surprise for her.

“One moment,” she watched with adoring eyes as he opened a cupboard above the stove that was much too high for her to reach. He pulled down what looked like a bottle full of corked red wine and presented it to her with a proud grin.

“Ordered it from that vampire mixology show you like,” he let her take it so she could read the label, her mouth set in an O of fascinated awe.

“Plasma donated by a meditation guru who only ate tangerines for a week. They say it’s some tasty shit.”

“Hopper,” she clutched the bottle with the yellow label to her chest and tilted her head to beam up at him. “You didn’t have to do that, it must’ve cost a fortune.”

He stared at her, unable to gauge her reaction. “You don’t like it?”

“No I love it!” She gushed, snuggling into his embrace again. “Nothing could ever taste better than my man, though.”

He rested his chin on her head, grinning like a fool. “One day I’ll kick the nicotine habit and it will taste even better.”

“Well, don’t do it for me, you’ve gotta quit for yourself.” She scooted away to take a bean salad out of the fridge.

She always got up early to start her day so that they could have a meal together before she left for her job as a night time stocker at the local grocery store. Hopper would wake up before sunrise to be able to spend time with her before she went underground to the safe cubby he’d built. More and more, he considered becoming a vampire himself, just to be able to spend more time with her, but that would be a talk for another day.

The table was set with a bouquet of wild, pink poppies, and then a plate with silverware for him, and a glass for her. She’d been sad to give up real food for those first couple months when she was first turned, but by then, almost a decade later, she was amazed at how much she didn’t crave it.

“I had the darndest dream just now,” he cracked open a cold Schlitz and it fizzed.

“Oh yeah? What about?”

He almost didn’t want to say it out loud.

“It was a nightmare really. You were dating Bob.”

Joyce burst out in a bubble of a laugh. “Bob Newby? Of all people. I do like Bob, though, he’s a nice man.”

“You like him more than me?” He teased, frowning.

“Hopper, please.”

He took a sip of beer. “I was addicted to V in the dream. Lonely, and hated my life.”

“Addicted to V, huh? That’s a tough one.” Joyce searched his face with sincere concern.

Vampire blood, or V, was sold illegally to recreational users, and it was highly addicting.

He leaned forward, sliding his big hand up her arm. “I’m addicted to you.”

Before they kissed she hummed, “you’re insatiable,” and then took another sip of her imported treat.

After the sunset, they sat out on the porch for a while, looking up at the stars. Joyce nestled between Hopper’s legs with her back against his stomach in one of the lounge chairs, fingers intertwined at her middle. They talked about the kids, how Joyce’s son Will, who was also a vampire, would be joining them for dinner/breakfast on Sunday, and Jonathan would be bringing his girlfriend home to visit for the holidays. Hopper’s daughter Sarah was on a backpacking trip across Europe, and their fridge was covered in postcards from her travels. She called Hopper collect from Greece that day and told him she’d found a job there and planned to stay a bit longer. He said he was happy for her, but it made his heart hurt to know he wouldn’t see her again until next year.

“I’m pretty happy with this little life of ours,” Joyce said softly.

Hopper planted his lips on the top of her head. “There’s no other timeline I’d want to be in.”

—-----

Eddie rolled up to the chop shop in the white porsche he’d lifted from the parking garage of a fancy restaurant in town. He tipped the valets well, and they never gave him the keys, but were fine with turning their backs so that he could do his work.

From the dark alleyway, metal sparks were flying in the open garage door, and the sound of an electric drill buzzed away from the several other employees working the night shift. Gary handed him an envelope full of cash for the car, and the first thing that came to Eddie’s mind was buying you that rare Kurt Vonnegut copy you’d had your eye on at Robin’s bookstore.

He made his way through the busy work area to the back entrance where he’d parked the GTO. It was still primer gray and needed a lot of interior work, but he liked working on it with Wayne, it was a way for them to bond. ��

The moon was not yet full. Maybe a few more days and it would be. He stopped to stare up at it for a few beats, wondering if you were battling insomnia again and possibly looking up at it too.

It was late winter, so the sun wasn’t up for a while, and he had plenty of time to get you an iced coffee and have it waiting in the fridge for when you woke up. He used the spare key tied around his neck when he got to your trailer and tip-toed in, trying not to rustle the knob so he didn’t wake you up.

But you were there on the couch next to Bela watching television. Bela stuck her whole face into the bowl of dry cereal before her and came up with colorful Fruity Pebbles stuck to her lips while she munched, making growing sounds.

“How long have you been up?” He took his leather jacket and battle vest off to hook them on the back of the door, revealing a Warlock shirt with the collar ripped out.

“Dad’s on the news again,” you said without answering his question, without taking your eyes off the TV. “He called last night to tell me about it, but I almost slept in and forgot.”

He sat down on the other side of Bela and stretched his hand along the back of the couch to squeeze your shoulder.

Your father, the brilliant surgeon turned funeral director turned “mad scientist” in the media, was doing a tour as a guest speaker for several well-known universities. A lot of people were fascinated by his brilliance, and his research on reanimating dead tissue, but some thought his work was an abomination.

You were still his best kept secret. He worked hard to keep the details of your life and your whereabouts hidden, but eventually you wondered if someone would find you. You were the only human proof that his methods worked, but bringing your story to light would only put you at risk. You no longer went by your birth name and everyone called you Dove. He referenced you in public as his niece, and no one seemed to be asking any questions, at least not that you were aware of.

“He’s wearing that tie we picked out for him,” Eddie noted proudly.

When Bela finished her cereal and flew off to her perch near the window, you scooted into the nook made by Eddie’s open arm, smooching him before resting your head on his shoulder. He had his knees spread wide, taking your hand the second it was close enough.

“I missed you tonight,” he mumbled into the side of your head.

“I work at the bar until late tomorrow.” You snuggled closer, putting our leg over his. “You could pick me up and we could go steal cars together. I’d like to watch you work.”

It’d been a month since the first time you were intimate, and diving into a relationship felt like second nature. You’d talked to Bob about letting you have more night shifts instead of working during the day, and he was enthusiastically understanding, clapping his hands together to rub them back and forth conspiratorially. “I smell a romance blossoming.”

Eddie came in one time for a drink at the bar and Argyle said, “dude, it’s weird to see you not all grumpy and sulking.” And then Eddie caught your eye from across the room and gave you a little wiggle of his fingers, unable to wipe the permanent smile off of his face.

For the first time you really felt like you’d found a home somewhere. But also, there were things happening that were truly…odd.

In the sock draw in your bedroom, you found a few polaroids you didn’t remember taking.

One was of a hearse that was the same make/model as yours, but it was solid black instead of black with white pinstriping. Another was of what looked like Vein on Main, with Bob waving at you from the doorway. The neon in the floor to ceiling window said Main Vein. Had it been remodeled before you came to work there? But if so, how had you been the one to snap the photo?

You also found a key on your keyring that did not look familiar. It was smaller than the rest with blunt, jagged teeth.

You showed it to Eddie, thinking it might be to open a glove box or something car related.

He brought it up close for examination, going cross-eyed. “It almost looks like one of those gas cap keys, but your hearse isn’t that old. To a secret diary, maybe?”

“I never write in a diary. You know that.”

“Well,” he sniffed. “Let me put my Columbo hat on and crack this case.”

You could see his mind racing as he took it around the trailer, trying it in any lock he could find, including the front door knob, which was silly, but he had to rule it out.

“Babe, what are you doing down there?” You asked when you walked into the bedroom to find him on his stomach, fishing around under the bed with a flashlight.

“Just ticking all the boxes, my love,” he responded with a grunt. He crawled in more so that you could only see him from the waist down. His butt looked so cute wiggling there, you wanted to pinch it.

“Ah ha!” He exhaled triumphantly, dragging something with him as he scooted back out. “I knew I saw a box under here when I was looking for Dio the other day. By the way, you should really vacuum under there. I think I saw a dust bunny with teeth.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you mumbled, arms folded, waiting to see what he caught from the depths of the shadows.

“There,” he jerked a square gray case out by the handle, settling on his knees to wipe his bangs away from his eyes. “The one thing we haven’t checked.”

There were no markings on it, but you saw the tiny silver key hole lock right away, lowering yourself to the carpeted floor next to him. Hard shell case with worn corners as if it had seen quite a few travels. There was a texture to it, and if you closed your eyes, it felt like snakeskin.

“Do you know what’s in it?” His gaze flicked to your profile. “It weighs a ton.”

You turned your head from side to side. “I’ve never seen that case in my life,” and that realization prickled your flesh. “But maybe it was left here by the last tennant?”

“Why would you have the key, though?”

You turned to stare at each other, unsure of what else to say.

“Try it,” he offered you the key, clearing his throat.

“I’d rather you did it.”

“Certainly,” but he said in a voice that mimicked Curly from the Three Stooges.

The key fit, and when he twisted it, the latch clicked, and you held your breath.

“Drumroll,” Eddie flipped the latch up.

“Please just open it.”

He pushed the lid back and the metal hinges creaked.

Jaws unhinged, you both stared at the smoke gray Royal typewriter for a few beats, cocking your heads to the side in tandem.

“A vintage typewriter.” Eddie stated the obvious.

“My mom used to have one like that,” you whispered it under your breath, not even meaning to say it out loud.

“So it is yours?” he waited.

“Um,” you ran the tips of your fingers along the edge. “It must be.”

But, surely you would have remembered lugging that thing around. In your mind's eye, you could see your index finger doing chicken pecks over the keys, but yet couldn’t recall anything you’d written.

“Do you have any paper?” Eddie got to his feet. “We could try it out.”

“In the bottom drawer over there, I think,” pointing to the desk against the wall with three drawers down one side.

He carried the heavy piece of equipment out into the kitchen island to test it, rolling the paper in manually and clicking the typebar until it dinged into place.

Akfj giahkasras va auiwyrg is what he typed.

“There’s a letter missing,” he noted, taking a better look at the metal teeth inside.

“It’s the N,” you said before he could. It was almost as if you knew which letter it would be with your eyes closed. It was stuck, jammed in place.

“I think I know a guy who could fix that,” your boyfriend said softly, wanting to be helpful. “Wonder if some WD-40 would do the trick.”

After Eddie left for an interview at the body shop of a popular vampire car dealership, you stared up at the fan on the ceiling of your bedroom, unable to sleep. Bela was on one of her nocturnal adventures, Dio was back on her window perch at Eddie’s place, and you vibrated there in the loud silence. The night sounds were more menacing, the flap of the loose shingle on the roof suddenly sounded like someone walking around up there.

You were just starting to fade when you heard the click clack of the typewriter keys.

clickityclackclackclickityclack…Whack…DING

Adrenaline surged through your body and your eyes shot open, freezing there while invisible spiders swarmed your flesh.

But then, everything went quiet. A full, creeping silence that made your ears ring.

You held your breath and an owl hooted out in the woods. What if you’d dozed off more than you realized and the sound was part of a dream?

Your gaze shifted slowly to land on the entrance to the hallway, waiting to hear creaking footsteps followed by a figure standing there. Maybe a tall creature with long arms and clawed hands and red eyes that glowed in the dark. After several minutes of nothing, you pulled yourself together, recognized your own strength, and kicked your feet out of bed.

Hands balled into fists, skin buzzing, you padded softly to the mouth of the hallway, keeping to the shadows, out of view of anyone who happened to be standing in the kitchen. Maybe some elves and faeries came to fix the stuck N key.

ClickclickClackclackclick

Slower that time, but someone was definitely out there messing with your shit.

You rolled your back flat against the wall, hiding, thinking of a weapon you could use. The ballpoint pen in the bedside drawer was the only thing you could come up with, and you brandished it like a knife at your ear with the point out.

“Eddie is that you?” Voice wavering, you hovered just beyond the door frame.

The silence only thickened.

You felt that surge of electricity crackle along your muscles and your breathing deepened.

Who needs a pen when you can shoot lightning bolts out of your fingers?

After a sharp intake of breath, you closed the distance between the bedroom and the hallway lightswitch, flicking it on.

You’d been prepared for the worst, possibly some hulking monster with vampire fangs and blood dripping off its claws. Something like your boyfriend but darker, older. Hungrier.

But you were alone in the trailer.

Your heart pumped ice cold blood through your veins as you made sure to check behind the kitchen island.

Nothing. No one.

You lifted your hands up in front of your face to find that there were snaps of electricity idling there, building power in case you needed it. Your eyes darted to each of the windows, thinking one was open or shattered, but everything appeared to be just how you left it before bed.

“Hello?” One more time for good measure. “Eddie, I hope you aren’t fucking with me.”

Still nothing, and you knew in your heart that he wouldn’t fuck with you like that. Tease you and be a brat in other ways, sure, but he’d never make you think there was the threat of an intruder, not after everything.

The closer you inched into the room, the more it became clear that there was writing on the piece of paper rolled into the feed of the typewriter.

Right underneath Eddie’s Akfj giahkasras va auiwyrg was:

Hello Dove

I k ow you ca ’t wrap your head arou d this right ow

But Eddie is i da ger

Nostrils flaring as you read it, you spun around, expecting to find someone standing right behind you.

Nothing. No one.

But then

The keys were moving again, depressed by invisible fingers.

The two of you are o lo ger safe i Hawki s

A memory clicked in your head about the Remington rifle with the M84 scope hidden in the wall in your closet that was loaded with silver bullets. Brass knuckles, hunting knives, and plastic flexi cuffs, among others. You had an arsenal of things for capture and killing.

O ce you have read this you must bur it

A d the replace the paper and await further instructio s

Slowly, you tugged the single piece of paper out of the feeder in one swipe and only hesitated for a moment before aggressively crumpling it up into a ball.

You picked up the yellow lighter near the phone and lit the edge on fire before tossing it into the ceramic sink and watched it turn to charcoal ash.

You’d killed before. Many times. Humans and monsters alike.

…but why did you feel like you were just now realizing that fact?

And now someone was after Eddie.

You fed a fresh sheet of paper in, but after an hour, no new words appeared.

You had no idea how it worked, but wondered if maybe it could function as a two-way conversation.

Your palms were sweating as you poised your fingers over the keys.

“Who are you?” You typed, each letter falling like a brick, almost afraid to know the answer.

Clickclickclick the keys snapped as soon as you finished.

I am you

…….

a other versio of you

but also we are the same

……

When Eddie got home, you’d been watching from the window and leapt into his arms before he could step all the way through the door.

“Fuck, finally,” you said in a slightly whiny tone, unable to help yourself. You’d been sitting there bouncing your knee and letting your anxious thoughts run wild. You’d called the garage, but Gary had no idea where he went and you really wished Eddie would get a beeper.

He returned the embrace, grinning sappily into the side of your neck. “Good to know you didn’t get another boyfriend while I was at work.”

You wouldn’t let him go, it felt too good to be able to touch him, to know he was okay.

“Hey, hey,” he said softly, pushing you far enough away so that he could see your face and the water at your lash line. His cold, dead heart ached at the sight. “What’s this all about? Did something happen?”

You let him take his leather off, and then you told him about the Twilight Zone typewriter.

Paper fed into the rubber roller, you both sat staring at it in silence and prickling anticipation. Eddie fed Bela saltine crackers and she ate them messily, snorting every so often as she sucked them down.

“What if we talk to it first,” Eddie suggested, knowing that you had succeeded at that earlier.

“I have so many questions, I wouldn’t know where to start.”

He sat forward on the sofa, his hands in the shape of claws, hovering over the letters. “May I?”

You wet your lips nervously and scooted closer to him. “Sure, be my guest.”

He blew a long breath out of tight lips before wetting them again, eyes darting over the machine.

…..

This is Eddie. Is there a other versio of me there? I’d like to ask him some questio s.

…..

He pulled his hands back as if in a form of surrender, staring at the blank white space.

Nothing happened for what seemed like an hour but was really only 2 minutes and then—-

Eddie is ’t here

……

Your heart rate spiked, and you were about to speak, but then the ghost typing continued.

You eed to fi d Jareth

…..

Eddie is in da ger

You shouted at the piece of machinery then. “Why is Eddie in danger? From who? Enough with the cryptic shit.”

Eddie took the liberty of typing a few words in for you and waited, gnawing at the inside of his cheek..

Another 30 seconds that felt like a million

The Fellowship of the Su

Eddie fell back stiffly on the couch at that, staring blankly at the words.

“What is that last word? Sun? What the hell is the Fellowship of the Sun?”

Even as you asked, you could tell by the look on his face that it was bad.

“They’re a group of religious extremists who think vampires are an abomination and don’t support the new laws that give us rights and let us be a part of society. They don’t think we should exist at all, actually.” He took a deep breath. “They’re pretty dangerous babe.”

“Well I’m pretty dangerous too,” you mumbled, cracking your neck. You ran your hands up and down your face a few times exhaling a ragged groan.

“Wasn’t Jesus a vampire?” You mused more to yourself, but Eddie was quick to shrug and agree that he always thought so.

Your fingers hit heavy as you punched out the words.

Tell me what I eed to do.

For a moment there, you felt utterly foolish and out of body. Talking to some other secret version of you about vampire stealing Jesus freaks on a broken typewriter, of all things? But you had to focus, you didn’t have the luxury of doubting whoever was at the other end of the words.

Other You considered switching you to another timeline again, but too much of that could mess irrevocably with a person’s head. This was the only timeline when your dad lived to be an elderly man, the only timeline when Hopper and Joyce could find their happiness, and those things mattered to you. Both Other You and Current You.

It was also one of the only timelines that you knew of where they eventually discovered a cure for vampirism. That meant Eddie could have the choice to live out a mortal life with you, if he wanted that. A family and daywalking together would all be an option again.

eed to fi d Jareth

Other You repeated, and then: He will k ow what to do

You asked a few more questions over the next hour but did not receive any further communication. Eddie sank back on the couch while you remained hunched forward and he rubbed comforting circles on your back with the palm of his hand.

After staring at one spot on the paper for another few seconds, you settled back against him with a huff, curling one leg over his and wrapping an arm around his chest while your head nestled at his shoulder.

“Do you think we should leave Hawkins?” Your words were the first ones spoken. “Just hit the road and get as far away as we can? Dye our hair, change our names, I don’t care.”

“If you go, I go,” he mumbled into your temple. “But I think the You on the other side of the typewriter has a point. Jareth could hide us in the Upside Down for a while. The fellowship would have a hard time getting to us there. They’re petrified of that place.”

You closed your eyes. “Why would they want to hurt you?”

He grabbed the crook of your knee to pull your leg closer. “Because they hate vampires, baby. They want us all to go Back in the Coffin, as they say.”

“If you go, I go,” you twisted closer, nuzzling the side of his throat.

“Speaking of going,” he groaned, not wanting to face reality. “I need to get underground. The sun will be up in like, ten minutes.”

Ugh, you hated being apart from him for such a long period during the day, especially now that he might be a target. But at least you could put the couch over the door in the floor and always know he was safe as long as you or Bela were around.

He took a few sips of plasma from your wrist while your mouth was on his cock. It was a risk so close to sunrise, but you rolled your tongue around his shaft and flicked it at the tip in a way that had him shivering and moaning your name while you swallowed his cum after only a few minutes.

Breathless, he threw his head back. “Holy shit jesus christ I fucking love you.”

You hopped to your feet, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Okay now we need to get you to bed. Quick quick.”

“That’s okay,” he sighed, unmoving. “I’ll just perish right here.”

“Not on my watch,” you giggled, yanking him up while he fumbled to put his dick back into his jeans.

When he was at the bottom of the hidey hole, you got on your knees at the entrance and held the door, preparing to close it. “I’m not going to work today, so I’ll be here. Shout if you need me.”

“I will,” his eyes seemed to sparkle while he stared up at you, admiring. “I fucking love you.”

“Ditto,” the word put a catch in your throat. Why did it feel like you were saying goodbye to him?

When the darkness finally took him and he sank back to where the mattress was, you shut the carpeted door and then put your hand on it, as if you could still feel his cool flesh through it.

Standing with a weary breath, you moved the couch and thought about the phone calls you needed to make. Hopper, Argyle, and the rest of the vampires and their allies that you were friends with. If Eddie was in danger, perhaps they all were.

You had to call Vein on Main to find out where Jareth was, and they patched you through to Sacrament.

When he picked up on the second ring, he said hello to you before you even said who was calling. Caller ID perhaps? You didn’t have time to wonder.

“I need your help. I think Eddie might be in danger,” you spoke quickly, bursting with urgency.

At the other end, Jareth was as calm as ever. “And this should concern me, why?”

“Does the Fellowship of the Sun ring a bell?”

You could hear the ancient vampire go ridgid. His voice changed, lowering to almost a whisper. “How do you know about them?”

“It’s a long story,” to say the least. “Someone told me I could trust you with this. That you could help us.”

He was so quiet, you wondered if he’d disconnected, but then it sounded like he walked into another room and closed the door. You could no longer hear the rapid techno beat of club music in the background.

“What if getting rid of Eddie was all part of my plan?” He smirked into the phone. “Then I could have you all to myself.”

“Please, Jareth. We don’t have time for this.”

He cleared his throat. “I did hear that the Fellowship were closing in on Hawkins, but they are no match for—”

“I don’t think we should underestimate them,” you said softly. “Could we meet up later tonight? After sunset? There is something I need to discuss with you, but not over the phone.”

You wondered if you should tell him about the magical typewriter and the version of you from a parallel life.

What if there was a chance he already knew about it?

“Come after your shift, around 3,” he said. “I’ll ask Maxine not to hassle you at the door, but no promises.”

After the phone call, you turned on the news to see the female President of the Vampire Coalition arguing with a man who was a pastor from the Fellowship of the Sun.

“You vermin don’t belong here in our streets indoctrinating our children with your bloodlust and fornicaiton!” The balding pastor barked. “And we’re going to shine god's light on you and send you back to the hell you came from.”

Sophie Ann Bledsoe, the president of the coalition, had sea blue eyes, a brunette bob of hair, and muted wine lips. She looked like a soccer mom, not a member of the dangerous undead.

“If you’d give me a chance to speak,” she said calmly, watching Pastor Daniels grow red in the face. “I will assure you that we are peaceful, productive members of society—-”

“I won’t listen to this devil!” The pastor turned away, toward the camera, and then a moderator intervened with a few diplomatic words before the broadcast went to a commercial.

You could see rage in that pastor’s eyes: he wanted to wipe vampires off the planet.

But then, the television screen flickered to static and back again.

You swore you saw an image, nothing but an outline, but familiar all the same.

Had there been a voice? Someone whispering your name over the political news broadcast?

You waited, but the flicker never happened again.

Before you bent to click off the set, your head did a slow turn to glance over your shoulder at the typewriter squatting like doom on the coffee table.

Maybe it wasn’t doom, maybe it was hope, and you considered that while the winter sun broke through the trees, blanketed by clouds.

The next place your eyes landed was the hatch in the floor that had yet to be covered up by the wagon wheel sofa. You had a few things to get done that day, but when the sun finally set, you knew you’d be kneeling there, waiting for Eddie to take your hand and be your partner in crime for the evening.

There was something like a memory itching at your brain, but a distant one that belonged to someone else, like an echo in a dark hallway.

A memory of you and Eddie in your trailer, but it was a dark, royal blue, raining with strange particles that looked like snow but danced on the air like fluff from a dandelion. The trees and the grass were dead, and the sky was void of stars, like a bleak landscape painted from a nightmare. The ground split open in places like jagged knife wounds that never healed; they reminded you of your scars.

The Upside Down.

Bela was perched on your shoulder in the vision, and Eddie had a rifle strapped to his back. You needed food and supplies, but you didn’t want him to go alone. The three of you had survived this long, and so together you would stay. You knew the typewriter was hidden safely under the floorboards and you’d come back for it later.

Eddie reached for your hand in the vision and you gave it, mirroring the look of adoration on his face. The two of you were very much in love, but around you there was a sense of horror in the air, edged with a feral determination to survive.

Survive what, exactly?

But then you blinked and the sensory experience was gone.

There was the heavy thud of Bela landing on the roof above you, followed by fumbled rustling and a tiny growl of sorts that made you smile.

You let her in and went over to make some tea, warmed by a sudden calm that everything would be okay and no harm would come to the people you loved.

You’d make sure of it.

#Death Becomes Us #DBU #Eddie Munson #vampire!Eddie #Eddie Munson fanfic #Eddie Munson x reader #True Blood au

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lev1hei1chou · 1 year

Text

Why i believe Gojo could come back

This chapter left us in a devastated state and was absolutely uncalled for, but I personally believe this isnt the end of the strongest sorcerer. There are several reasons as to why (These are just opinions, I could be wrong in certain areas AND personal feelings might make an occassional appearance.)

LEAKS:

This whole panel was obviously made for a reason. And we dont see gojo making a decision. Considering the fact that this is literally THE Gojo Satoru, he's more likely to choose north since there's numerous things left as plot holes. We'll get to that.

Here in this page, he mentions that Toji should've cut his head off to actually kill him. In the leaks, whats cut off is his upper body but not the head! I still can't quite wrap my head around RCT but lets say he's not able to heal himself. You know who can and who would? Yuta and Shoko

Now moving on

"Gojo then bids farewell to everyone." If hes truly gone then why would he be bidding farewell to the fallen comrades? If he's dead then isn't he supposed to stay in the afterlife with them?

Pretty self explanatory

What if Kashimo is going in to distract Sukuna while Shoko and Yuta can heal Gojo?

Now think about this. Gojo is gone, Shoko doesnt fight and who are all left? A bunch of sorcerers who are literally under 20, need guidance and we havent really seen any panel where they actually plan how they're going to go about in the whole battle. Gojo isnt a want, hes a NEED, a NECESSITY.

Remember, Toji who was dead long ago pretty much appeared out of nowhere in Shibuya Arc LMAO so- yes

WHAT IS THIS EVEN SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Theres no way Gojo would be left sealed for 3 whole years, brought him back just to kill him off in the most disrespectful way possible.

Besides, things that Gojo wanted to do haven't happened yet.

He wanted to tell megumi about his father

He wanted to see his students surpass the strongest sorcerer, aka him

He wanted to get rid of the higher ups

He wanted to properly mourn suguru (for which kenjaku has to be defeated but oh well)

He wanted to save Megumi

How'd we know what Gojo said here.

On to the other aspects of why killing off Gojo was a bad idea. We barely ever saw what happened to him, and an off screen death to the so called strongest sorcerer is just senseless. Gojo is a fan favourite. People started watching the show for Gojo (myself included) and there's a high possibility of multiple people dropping the manga since he isn't even there anymore.

The ending could take a turn for the worse considering the fact that Sukuna is just overpowered and Kenjaku hasn't done anything as of now. Unless there's some heavy plot armor I dont think the students even stand a chance against Sukuna and Kenjaku. Both outcomes- the students and others emerging as victors or sukuna emerging as a victor could make the ending absolutely terrible and this might as well top AOT for being the manga with the most disliked ending.

Gojo Satoru is the mentor for multiple; for Yuji, Nobara, Megumi, Yuta, Maki, Panda, Toge and the third years and its necessary for them to have someone to teach them. It is one of Satoru's wishes to see his students surpass him, which can happen only when he's there since there's nobody else who is actually capable of teaching them and leading them into the world as actual graduated sorcerers.

So Gojo dying will make the manga take a turn for the worse. Killing him off in the middle makes absolutely no sense and is just plain bad writing. People are prolly gonna kill me for this but lets admit the truth. Hyping this battle, building up tension just to finish him off screen is NOT good writing.

Anyways. There is factual proof of Gojo potentially making a return. Maybe at a cost, like him losing his power, losing his "strongest" title or anything else. He may not even be the same anymore but honestly as long as he's back, I'm fine.

It happened previously, and could happen again.

Satoru Gojo may not be the strongest and the honoured one, but may be reborn as a newer version of himself after getting humbled. Lotuses, as mentioned above symbolise rebirth, which is why i believe this is not the end.

A small bit of advice for gojo fans: Go watch haikyuu or highschool babysitters as a form of self care <3

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multi-fandom-imagines8 · 4 months

Text

A Song of Ice & Shadow

Part 5

You can read chapters one, two, three, and four here.

A/N: Not @ me pulling an all nighter to finish a protocol for uni and submitting it at 6 in the morning just 10 minutes before the deadline. Then proceeding to edit this chapter. This series in ruining my future, because all I did in the last two weeks is write 20 chapters! instead of the four protocols that I should've written on time. Anyways, enough about me. Y/n is fighting everyone in this chapter and saying hurtful things along the way.

Summary: Tension rises as Y/n only makes things harder for everyone around her. After moving into the Town House, she is attacked by the King’s soldiers.

Warnings: angst, slight violence, blood.

Word Count: 4.1 K.

Coming to check on Elain, much to Y/n’s surprise, she was not in her room. She paced towards the room where Nesta usually sat, only to hear her telling someone to get out. When she arrived she found Nesta and Feyre by the door and Elain and Lucien sitting in the room.

“I told you to keep him away from her” Y/n glared at Feyre, her voice tight with frustration.

“I came for a book” Lucien stated, trying to sound nonchalant.

“You don’t fool me, you one-eyed bastard. Get out!” she kept her voice steady, though a storm was building within her.

“She needs fresh air. Get her out of this house” he advised, and although he was right, Y/n barked “do not tell us what my sister needs. You don’t even know her”. In a moment of intense anger, a faint spark danced across her fingertips, the sensation lost amidst the turmoil of her emotions. She clenched her fists tightly, extinguishing the spark, the potential within her remaining hidden.

Feyre had come this morning to apologize for the previous night, but upon being seen in the same room as Elain and Lucien, it only made things worse.

“Y/n, I-”.

“Save it” she gave her sister a glare before storming out.

—

With no one around, Y/n felt cooped up and could not leave even if she wanted to. She decided to explore the rest of the house. Reaching the library, she felt something tighten around her chest. She was greeted by Clotho who wrote on a paper offering to assist her. She didn't even know why she was here, but then an idea came to her. She wrote back “do you have books about the anatomy and strong and weak points of the Fae?”.

“You want to learn about your body?”.

“Something like that”.

Clotho signaled one of the priestesses who led Y/n to the aisle about Fae anatomy a couple of floors below. She started reading out of curiosity but got sucked in. The tightening of her chest returned and she finally put the book down. She looked around, but no priestesses were in sight. She walked around the library when she saw a dark pit below. Something was drawing her closer, and she decided to investigate. She heard a faint voice ask “who walks here?”.

“Hello. Is there anyone here?”. No answer. She resumed her descent.

“Who dares disrupt my sleep?” the voice was louder.

“I-I did not know there was anyone here. I’m Y/n”.

“Ah, the one who’d been lost. I see you’ve been found”.

“What does that even mean? Who are you?”.

“You mean to say, what am I?”.

“You’re not Fae? Wh- where are you? How is it possible that your voice is everywhere?” Y/n was now going down carefully, as the lights began to fade.

“Fae?” the voice laughed “I’m much older, girl-”.

“Y/n, what in the Mother’s name are you doing here?” Cassian grabbed her wrist and led her upstairs.

“What the hell, prick? Let go of me!” but Cassian did not release her until they were in the upper part of the library, where it was safe.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” this was the first time she’s seen Cassian angry. His wings flared slightly, a sign of his agitation.

“What has gotten into you?”

“What has gotten into you?” he repeated “how can you just go down there? Do you know what lies beneath the library?”.

“No, I do not. No one has told me anything. In fact, this is the first time I’ve been to the library”.

“You stupid fool”.

“Mind your tongue, General”.

“Why did you even go down there?”.

“Because- I- I don’t know. Something was calling to me. I had this strange feeling and it led me there” she explained.

“If it ever calls to you again, do not answer. Do not go down there, do you understand me?”.

“I do not take orders from you, General. I’m not one of your soldiers that you can command”.

“Mother above, Y/n. Will you just listen for once?” Cassian sighed. He’d never dealth with such a stubborn and infuriating woman before.

“What is down there?”.

“A creature you do not want to face, trust me. Please, just stay away. I’m not commanding, I’m asking”.

“Alright, whatever. How did you even know I was here?”.

“I stayed behind to guard the city and you and Elain-”

“I don’t need guarding”.

“I know. When I came to the house, you weren’t there, so I had to check. When I got to the library, Clotho told me you were here. I did not think you’d do such a stupid thing, but when I came to find you you weren’t there. Only the book you were reading. Why are you studying our anatomy?”.

“I need to know everything about my enemies in order to defeat them”.

“Do you plan on killing me?” he chuckled.

“If you keep annoying me”.

“You’re lucky that I found you. You could have died”.

“Am I supposed to thank you? You don’t know that. Maybe whatever is down there just wanted to chat” she shrugged.

“Since when do you see the best in people?”.

“I don’t, but it is not a person, is it?”.

“Let’s just get out of here” he rolled his eyes.

“Where is everyone?”.

“Hewn city. If you agreed to help, you could’ve gone with them”.

“And see more of your kind? From what I heard, they’re even worse than you”.

“Much worse”.

“Then why would I ever want to go there?”.

“Fair point. But what about your powers, don’t you want to learn about them?”.

“You don’t know if I have any”.

“You are Cauldron-made. I-we believe that each of you has powers”.

“Power or no power, I’m not doing anything to help you”.

“Why not? You’d help save everyone”.

“You ask a lot of questions, General”.

“And you answer none”.

“I don’t owe you or anyone an answer”.

“Sorry, I asked… I have to go now, Rhys just informed me of their return. And please don’t go down again”.

“I won’t. Tell my sister and your brother to come here tomorrow, I have something to discuss with them”.

—

To Y/n’s surprise, not only Feyre and Rhys were in the living room the next morning, but also Cassian, Azriel and Nesta.

“Good morning” she greeted Nesta, and Nesta only. “How are your lessons going?” she took a seat next to her sister.

“I’m learning to shield myself. Yesterday was tiring” Nesta informed her.

“I want to go home” Y/n informed Feyre, who was taken aback, much like everyone else in the room.

“What? This is your home now” Feyre said.

“No, this is your home. I want to leave. I want to go back”.

“But you’re not human anymore” Feyre reminded “they won’t accept you there. It’s not safe”.

“I can glamour myself. And I can decide what risks I’m going to take myself”.

“You can’t glamour yourself forever”.

“Why do you care? I have made my decision. I want to leave” she persisted.

“Because you are my sister, and I want what is best for you”.

“And you think this is what’s best for me? To be locked up in here with nothing to do, surrounded by people I don’t like. I’m sorry that your human life was miserable, that you had to hunt for our family’s survival and just because you found a purpose here, just because you fit in, doesn’t mean we all have to. I had a life back then, a good one”.

“No one is locking you up. I told you, you can leave any time you wanted” Rhys reminded.

“How am I supposed to leave if no one is here to take me out? Or am I magically supposed to send a letter that would go wherever you are?”.

“You can call with your mind and I would send whoever is nearest to get you” Rhys explained.

“Nice trick, so you can enter my mind and read my thoughts? I’m not stupid”.

“I would never do such a thing, I give you my word”.

“You and your words that you can’t keep” she huffed.

“Y/n-” Feyre tried to diffuse the situation.

“I.want.to.leave”.

“It’s not safe. Not for you and not for your father. You have to think ab-”.

“Oh, that’s rich, coming from you” her reply came with a huffed chuckle “where was all that talk when you came to us for help? Or did our safety not matter to you when your new family wanted help? Because from where I stand, everything that happened to us was because of a decision you made” Y/n’s voice grew quiet, almost hesitant, pain and disappointment evident in her tone. Y/n didn’t want to say these words aloud, knowing her sister felt guilty, nonetheless. But bottling up her feelings all this time backfired on her.

“Don’t blame Feyre for what happened to you. If you want someone to blame, blame the King of Hybern, blame me” Rhys defended.

“Oh, I do, and his turn will come. But she played a part in what happened, I begged her to take her business elsewhere... I played a part in what happened” her voice faltered “we all did. And you? You want to know why I hate you? You made a promise that you couldn’t keep. You and your brothers promised to protect my sisters and when they needed that protection, you were all helpless. I should’ve never trusted you or let you anywhere near them and I have no one but myself to blame. I knew of the danger your kind would bring us, but still I allowed it to happen and now my sisters are suffering and Elain lost her fiance. All because of one decision” tears were now filling up in her eyes, but no one dared to speak. They all partly blamed themselves for what happened to the sisters and now with her confession, they know she blamed them too. A reminder that they have failed her and her sisters.

“It’s not your fault. No one blames you” Nesta finally spoke, trying to comfort her older sister. This was the first time she saw her break. She was always composed, didn’t let anything or anyone get to her. A faint smile appeared on Y/n’s face before she wiped away the tear that slipped and composed herself. She wanted to say something but had no energy left in her to argue, so she only nodded.

“You are right, it would put my father in danger. I won’t make that mistake twice” Y/n admitted before silently walking out of the room.

—

“What’s going on?” Y/n stepped out of her room as she heard noise and movement coming from outside.

“We’re moving to Rhysand’s townhouse” Nesta informed her sister.

“Great! And when was this decision made?” Y/n sighed.

“Yesterday… after you left”.

“I see. Is it because-”.

“Elain needs fresh air and staying here won’t help anyone”.

“Right… Was anyone going to tell me or were they just going to drag me there?”.

“I was sent to inform you, since-”.

“Since I basically told them to piss off”.

“Something like that. Let’s go” Nesta led her sister upstairs where the Illyrians and their other sisters were waiting, in addition to the one-eyed ginger. Azriel was the only one who dared to offer to take Y/n. He was met with sympathetic looks from his brothers and Feyre.

To his surprise, Y/n did not object and took the hand he extended to her. This time she’d be calm and composed. She did not say anything during their flight and neither did he. Knowing how she felt about him- them, he could not face her, as guilt crept up on him. They were the first to arrive and when they reached the front door, he released his grip from her waist and opened the door. “Where’s my room?” was all she asked. He informed her and she nodded in thanks before leaving for her room.

—

The next day, a healer called Madja was sent to examine Elain. To see if something was wrong with her, but she found nothing. She informed the sisters that there was nothing wrong with her physically and that she cannot enter her mind, since apparently being Cauldron-made gave them immunity against anyone who tried peeking around in their minds. This made Y/n feel pressure lifted off her, seeing as now neither her sister or Rhys can ever read her mind without permission. Madja suggested that Lucien try, seeing as he was her mate, maybe he could sense something they couldn’t. Although Y/n hated the idea, she agreed for her sister’s sake.

“What the hell did you do to her?” Y/n yelled at Lucien as Elain stood from her seat startled by whatever he did.

“Nothing” he claimed and apologized to Elain. After a while, Nesta walked out of her lesson with Amren and took Elain to the garden, away from Lucien. He informed Feyre that he felt her, but as Y/n thought he could not sense what was wrong. Feyre assured him they could try another day before walking after her sisters to retrieve Nesta for Amren. Lucien was left standing alone with Y/n.

“Don’t even think about getting together with my sister” Y/n warned.

“She’s my mate” he reminded.

“I’m letting you near my sister, you one-eyed bastard. You have done enough damage. You might be able to fool the others, but you don’t fool me. I know the only reason you’re here is because Elain is your “mate”. If she wasn’t, you wouldn’t have cared, you would’ve stayed with that dumb fuck of a male, his existance is a waste of oxygen. And don’t think I’ll ever forget how when my Feyre was suffering, when your ‘friend’ locked her up, you did nothing. When you tried taking her back by force, after seeing how she suffered. When you stood by while that monster made a deal with the King to use his land to slaughter humans. When my sisters became what they are because of you and your friend’s stupidity. You couldn’t even be a good friend, and let him spiral out of control, let him become the villain that everyone hates. So, over my dead body would I let you have her, but I don't put it past you to kill me to get to her, knowing who you keep company. But at least if you kill me, Elain will see you for who you truly are” Y/n said coldly, only hatred in her eyes.

“I-I’m sorry about wh-”.

“You’re only sorry, because she happens to be your mate. Don’t waste your time with me, I will never forgive you” she walked slowly upstairs, knowing her words will leave a deep scar.

—

Y/n was on her bed reading, when two High Fae males appeared in her room. From the way they looked, Y/n knew they were the King's soldiers. She promptly jumped out of bed and shouted “Elain, get out of the house now! RUN”.

“Don’t worry, we’re not here for your sister. At least not that one” one of them smirked.

“Stay back!” she warned.

“Or what?” one of them blew out blue Faebane dust at her, rendering her magic, whatever it was useless “you can either come with us willingly and make it easy for everyone or you can try and fight back, but it won’t be fun, at least not for you” one of them laughed as he took his blade out.

“I think you know which one I’m sticking with” she gave them a smile, not letting them see her fear. As one tried to move towards her, she threw the lamp on her bedside table at him and jumped on the bed, hoping to reach the door. The other one was fast enough to yank her back by her braid, throwing her on the floor. “Is that all you’ve got?”.

“I’d say it’s not fair to fight an unarmed woman, but again when is it ever fair?” She managed to kick him in the balls before getting back up on her feet and opening the door. When she reached the stairs, one of them pushed her down, resulting in a few bruises and a sprained ankle, possibly a mild concussion as well, but surprisingly nothing more. She limped to the kitchen, in search of a sharp object she could use. The first thing she saw was a small knife, but it would have to suffice. “What do you think that knife is going to do?” a mocked laugh came from one of them as he slowly walked into the kitchen.

“That depends on your fighting style. It could be the eye, your throat or even land right between your eyes or legs. Who knows?” she shrugged “I’m not going down without a fight. The only way you’re taking me with you is if I’m dead”.

“The king needs you alive, but he said nothing about harming you” one of them lunged forwards but before he could reach her, Azriel ripped his throat with his bare hands, blood splattering all over Y/n’s face and nightgown. Before the other one could react, Azriel threw his blade, Truth-Teller at him, which landed in the middle of his face.

“I had it covered”.

“I’m sure you did. Are you alright?” Azriel scanned Y/n bodies for any injuries.

“I’m fine, but Elain-” she remembered as the adrenaline wore off.

“She’s fine. No one tried to attack her” his hands were on her shoulders, still scanning her.

“I’m fine, Shadowsinger. I just sprained my ankle” she reassured him.

“That is what’s worrying me. You fell down the stairs and only got a sprained ankle”.

“How do you know that I fell? And are you saying you’re disappointed I didn’t break my neck or get worse injuries?”.

“I- that’s not what I meant. Just forget it and I’m sorry about the mess and the blood” he gestured to the blood on her face.

“That’s the least of my worries” she chuckled.

Azriel had just finished getting rid of the bodies, while Y/n sat on the couch with an ice pouch applied to her ankle when Feyre, Nesta, Rhys and Cassian walked through the front door.

“You look like hell” Y/n said to her sisters.

“I could say the same to you” Nesta gestured to the blood still all over her and the messed up braid.

“You should see the other males” Y/n stood up and gave her sister a warm hug “I’m glad you’re alright” she took a step back and shifted her gaze to Feyre “both of you”.

The others arrived and gathered in the living room to plan for any future attacks. They informed Y/N why the King was after them and what had happened to the queen who jumped in the Cauldron after them, but still she couldn’t understand how that would happen, seeing as she went in after Nesta and nothing happened to her.

“Maybe it’s because you went in immediately after Nesta and the Cauldron did not realize she took something from it” Cassian suggested.

“But as I recall, you stayed much longer than Nesta and Elain” Rhys reminded.

“The ravens said that both of you stole something from the Cauldron. What did you take, Y/n?” Feyre asked.

“I don’t know. All I know is when I went under, I was full of rage and hatred and I wanted to destroy the Cauldron. Other than that, I don’t remember”.

Then, they went back to discussing the meeting with the High Lord and who had agreed to come and possible outcomes of the meetings.

“The queen might come” Elain said. They all wondered who she was talking about and she clarified it’s the one with feathers of flames. Everyone was confused except for Azriel, who came to the conclusion that Elain was a seer. They started asking Elain questions about this queen and then debated about going to find out more about her and maybe bring back an army when Lucien volunteered to go.

“I need a bath” Y/n sighed before standing up again and heading towards the stairs. Azriel rushed to help her, but she held out her arm, gesturing she could walk alone.

—

“I need to send this letter out” Y/n entered the living room, where the inner circle except for Feyre and Mor were sitting.

“Alright, Az will take you. I have some things to discuss with Amren” Rhys said. Azriel stood from his place and nodded in agreement.

“Where’s Feyre?” she questioned.

“Out with Mor. She’s showing her something”.

Y/n strode towards the door and Azriel followed behind.

“Don’t be late” Cassian quipped and Y/n lifted her hand up, showing him the middle finger before leaving.

“I’m sorry you got stuck with me” Azriel said.

“I suppose it’s alright. It was either you or the General and I’d take you any day over him”.

Azriel snorted “what’s the deal between you two?”.

“He’s a giant prick who loves annoying people”.

Azriel winnowed them out to the dispatch center and waited outside when Y/n hesitantly walked in. She had finally decided to send that letter to her father. She informed him of the war that is to come, of how she and her sister were transformed against their wills and that she now lives with Feyre. But she also lied, telling him she’s happy where she is and that he shouldn’t worry about her. That she’ll come visit him once the war is over.

“Is everything alright?” Azriel asked when she finally came out, a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“Yes, it’s fine. Let’s just go”. With that he wrapped them in the shadows and winnowed out.

“Where are we?” Y/n noticed her surroundings were not something she was familiar with.

“We’re on a mountain”.

“No shit, that I figured”.

“I come here sometimes, when I’m feeling low” he confessed.

“Who says I’m feeling low?”.

“I’m not blind” he gave her a knowing look, his eyes narrowing slightly as if to say I can see right through your lie “you’ve been like this ever since this morning, especially after delivering that letter”.

“And what am I supposed to do here?” she crossed her arms.

“Take a break. Away from everyone. You can see Velaris from here. It brings me peace whenever I come here. I thought it could do that to you too”.

“I appreciate the thought, but peace is not something I will experience any time soon”.

“Then just take a break for a moment to breathe, unless you prefer going back and enduring Cassian” he joked.

“Fine…so what am I supposed to do exactly? Look down at the city and enjoy the view?”.

“If you want. Whatever makes you feel better” he sat on a rock, his arms crossed.

Y/n stepped towards the edge and looked over for a few minutes before speaking “it’s hard to do anything when you’re sitting behind me watching like a hawk”.

“Would you prefer it if I left? I can give you however much time you need and then come back to get you” he offered.

“No. Just- if you’re going to show me a city, show it to me at night or dawn. Everything looks more enchanting at these times”.

“Duly noted”.

“We can leave now, I feel a bit better”.

—

Y/n was knitting in the living room, a new hobby she’s picked up, when Amren walked in, informing everyone that Hybern had attacked the Summer Court. The inner circle were discussing strategies and exchanging information about what to do next, when Rhys decided they were going to aid the Summer Court.

Azriel and Cassian were preparing for war, checking their blades and tapping the siphons atop their hand, spreading their scaled armor across their body. Their expressions cold and devoid of emotions. Although Y/n had seen him- them in their full armor before, she never witnessed them preparing for a fight or a war. The sight of them made her heart skip a beat. Was that worry she felt? She did not know. She stood from her place to say something, but they were gone before she could. Nesta questioned if Mor and Feyre were going to fight and Feyre informed her that they would if needed.

Taglist: @st4r-girl-official @judig92 @5onedirection5 @nayaniasworld @blackgirlmagicforever @stained-glass-eyes0708 @aehllitas-blog @nebarious

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lynxgriffin · 7 months

Note

What are your predictions for Deltarune Chapters 3-4 ?

Hmmm, let's see...

I think Susie and Ralsei are going to work out very quickly that Kris was the one to create this fountain. Susie's going to brush it off like "Okay yeah I get why you would, it's okay we'll just have fun and seal the fountain when we're done anyway!" and Ralsei will try and act like it's not a problem, when he clearly is bothered by it, and this will start to build up some tension between Ralsei and Kris.

I am open to Toriel being another side party member, less convinced yet that we'll be seeing another adult like Undyne or Napstablook there as well. I do not think we'll be getting a Snowgrave repeat where Toriel is manipulated into killing Undyne or anything like that. If there's a weird route continuation here, it'll be handled very differently.

I don't think we'll be seeing more of the Dreemurr household in the dark world; it'll just be focused on what's on the TV. We've already got a few possibilities for areas: a cooking show, the weather report, and the monster movie, plus we do keep getting hints that the western show may show up in some capacity.

To that end...hopefully a Susiezilla sequence for the monster movie part!

Unsure of what Mike's role will be in here, but I'm anticipating Tenna as the main big bad for this Dark World.

I don't think anyone has guessed the secret boss for chapter three yet, and I don't think anyone will. Thusfar for secret bosses, there's been no hints of them from other places, and you have to go out of your way to find them. Their function as Darkners made from discarded/forgotten objects makes sense in hindsight, but isn't obvious from the get-go. All we know is that we'll need the shadow mantle for a future secret boss, and that that's missing now.

At the end of chapter three, Asriel is going to call on the landline phone and talk to Toriel briefly, but WE won't get to actually communicate with him and it's going to drive me bonkers.

We know less about chapter four, except for some very basic things...Susie and Kris have a few scenes talking out in the light world, and it's raining some of that time. It could either go the direction of an all-light world chapter, or another dark world they explore the next day.

Assuming it's the latter and there's another dark world (which makes more sense to me), I feel the best location options are the hospital, the church, and Asgore's flower shop. If there's a thread started in chapter three getting into more of the Dreemurr family history and Kris's place in it (which does seem to be the case), Asgore's shop seems the best bet to continue that thread next, so I'm going to predict Asgore's shop for chapter four.

Since that's a flower shop and all, a more Alice In Wonderland sort of theming seems likely, with more of a jungle/wild area that the Fun Gang has to explore compared to the city and sound stage areas of previous chapters.

I am expecting Catti (and potentially also Jockington) to be future Dark World partners, and either chapter four or chapter five seems a good option for that.

I think Catti is necessary as a partner 1) because of her occult history with Kris, 2) her focus on protecting Noelle, who I could see showing up in the Dark World again as early as chapter four or five, and 3) her clearly having beef with Susie.

If we're dealing with Kris's family history through chapters 3 and 4, I can see that then going into more of Susie's backstory and whatever is going on with her family. I get the feeling that Catti knows some secret about Susie that makes her dislike her more than just "she stole Jockington's hat once", and that will need to be resolved in conjunction with learning more on Susie's situation.

Every day in-game that big-headed blue bird monster is going to reveal another shelf in the second floor of the library, which will slowly give more worldbuilding lore, and it's going to be maddening just getting those little crumbs of info one at a time.

We'll be getting more Knight hints, but not a real reveal until chapter five.

#ask lynx stuff #whew that was more thoughts than I expected #deltarune theorizing

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lucid-loves · 8 months

Text

Taste Like Venom ~ Simon "Ghost" Riley Part 4

Pairing: Ghost x assassin!reader (fem!reader, no use of y/n, callsign “Hex”)

Word Count: 3.6k

CW: angst, violence, blood, strong language, scars, enemies to lovers trope, slow burn, fluff, clear attraction and sexual tension, smut later on, reader POV and ghost POV, minors dni, Soap lives in this AU

Let me know if I missed any CWs.

Story Synopsis: After Makarov gets away once again, Laswell decides to force a favor from you, the world’s greatest assassin and best-kept secret. You are now expected to help the 141 with taking down Makarov in addition to playing nice with them. It’s hard to play nice when you have always worked alone. It doesn’t help that one of the team members, Ghost, gets curious about you in each interaction.

Chapter Synopsis: While you are alone in your own hotel room, the men talk about you over Italian cuisine. This includes speculation on Ghost’s feelings for you. Meanwhile, you are already gearing up for infiltration to tap the target building. Ghost decides that he wants a front-row seat to your show.

A/N: I am adding a taglist from now on for those who want to be a part of one. I made a post asking people to like it if they wanted to be part of it. If you would like to comment that you want to be in a taglist, you can do so on this post~

Taglist: @eatingtheworldsoffanfiction @dory-98 @cum-tea-and-towels @completelymarveltrash

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Part 7 ~ Part 8 ~ Part 9 ~ Part 10

Good God, authentic pizza was absolutely amazing. The standard for pasta was incredible as well. It beat the standard cafeteria food back on base by a landslide. The 141 grimaced as they thought about someday having to return to the food back home. Even the food they’ve eaten out of your fridge has been refreshing to their taste buds. Soap was the most vocal about his dread of the mass-cook cafeteria food as he devoured another slice of heaven. “Christ, going back to bland spinach and soggy rice is going to be fuckin’ painful!”

“Remember when they tried to do a taco night. Fucking hell, the lettuce was dripping fat like a sponge.” Gaz added as he took a swig of whiskey. It wasn’t the Italian choice of liquor to pair with food, but it was the 141’s choice. Not Ghost’s though. He missed his Kentucky bourbon.

“Last Thanksgiving was the most painful for me. Turkey was drier than my fuckin’ belt.” Soap chuckled, trying not to drip sauce onto the bed with how his whole body laughed with him. They were eating in one of the double queen hotel rooms, away from the public eye. When they were all together in a group, they often garnered attention. Such was the price for being such large, capable men.

“Anyone reckon that Hex is up yet? Food is gonna get cold.” Price inquired. They had saved some food for you. A plate full of different things since no one knew what you liked. Even Kate didn’t know when they called to ask her. Still, they tried their best anyway. And their best was getting cold on a ceramic plate.

Soap shook his head in refusal. “I’m not gonna knock on her door. The lass scares the shite out of me.”

Gaz laughed out loud. “Soap? Afraid? Never thought I’d live to see the day.”

“Hey, you weren’t the one that nearly lost an ear! With fuckin’ car keys of all things.” He defended, taking a long swig of his own drink. He clearly wasn’t going to forgive you for that any time soon. It made him annoyed when he thought about the fact that you probably didn’t care.

Price shrugged and poured himself another drink. “You were kinda asking for it, Johnny. I think I would’ve nearly killed you too if I’m being honest.”

“Well, Lt. made the joke first and he didn't nearly get stabbed.” He continued to argue, looking to Simon for an answer on how it was different when he cracked the joke. Ghost just stared with indifference, sitting in the corner with his mask halfway up. Even if he was with the people he trusted with his identity, he just felt more comfortable hiding his face while he ate.

The room went quiet for a moment as the men thought about it. Out of all of them, Ghost seemed to be the one that was able to get the closest to you. You still pushed him away by miles, but it was definitely closer than they were getting. Kyle took another slice of pizza, the fresh basil so vibrantly green that it looked like it was glowing. “How do you feel so comfortable pushing her boundaries, Lieutenant? One attempt at our lives is enough for us to back off. Yet, you seem to keep going back for more.”

The men waited for an answer, an idea crawling into each of their heads. Price had already picked up on it by now. He noticed as soon as Ghost lifted you in his arms. Gaz vocalizing his observation out loud just now triggered Soap to realize it too. A slow, knowing smirk crept along Soap’s lips. Simon scowled at the insinuation, reading all of their minds. “All of you can bury your ideas six feet under. I’m just trying to get her to trust us. The mission will go a lot smoother if she does. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can go home.”

All of them returned to enjoying their meals, unconvinced by Ghost’s protest. Was Simon attracted to you? Absolutely. Did he like you? Well, he certainly didn’t hate you. The biggest problem for him was that you were dangerous. Not just from an ability standpoint, but from an emotional standpoint. While he did want to get close to you, he still wanted to keep you just out of arm’s reach emotionally because he knew that you would burn him. Poison him with that venom of yours. He knew if he really did fall for you, he would never stop falling.

For the sake of the mission and his own preservation, he convinced himself that you were only a temporary attraction. A beautiful woman with incredible power that will return to the unknown as soon as this is all over. His teammates knew better, though. In all their time of knowing Simon, he has never shown interest in women. Always too busy. Always too focused on work. Not even making time for hook-ups. When you came into the picture, you got his attention in a way they have never seen before. That meant a lot to them.

“Regardless, you have the honor of delivering our assassin her dinner, Lieutenant.” Price smirked, abusing his power as Captain to avoid feeding the feral woman next door. Ghost clenched his jaw, cursing out John in his mind as he got up.

The men continued their lighthearted conversation as Simon walked out, plate of food in hand. Taking a deep breath, he walked to your door and knocked. When there was no answer, he thought that perhaps you were still asleep. So, he took out his spare keycard to the room and welcomed himself in.

The room was dim, large shadows casing over the beige walls. A few laptops were running on the desks, already hacked into the security cameras of the target building. You’ve actually been up for a while and have been busy getting things ready for your infiltration. It was alarming when you woke up in your hotel room instead of the car at first. However, it didn’t take you long to figure out that someone must’ve carried you. You were pretty sure who it was, but you didn’t dwell on it. There was work to be done and you had wasted too much time with sleep.

Kate helped you get into their systems. From there, a layout of the building was mapped out along with the IDs of everyone working for Makarov. You have watched enough security footage to take note of the guard routes. All that needed to be done was planting the taps to allow you to listen in on everything. Nothing was going to be unheard. Not even the sound of a guard taking a bathroom break.

Simon watched you fasten a black belt tight around your hips that carried a collection of small throwing knives. You wore new pants, a long sleeve turtleneck with a hood, and boots. All tight. All black. His hands ached to reach out in order to trace your prominent curves. He wanted to feel the thin fabric of your shirt, the heat of your skin exuding through it.

Instead of that, he placed the food down on top of your dresser, resisting the temptation. “Not going to eat first?”

You didn’t even glance his way, something he wanted to fix immediately. “No. It will weigh me down. I had room service bring up some fruit earlier. It will tie me over until I get back.”

“You’re leaving now?” He questioned, anger rising in his tone. You should have let them know that you were awake. That you were set up with the tech. That you wanted to proceed with the mission with a lookout. You shouldn’t have intended to do this alone.

But, you couldn’t help it. This is how you have always worked. Besides, to you, there was no reason to waste time with unnecessary things like knocking on their door to let them know you were ready. What were you? A fucking dog looking to be let out? “Now is better than later. Security usually lets their guard down after meals. It’s not too late in the night to expect intruders too. Now is the optimal time for me to place the taps.”

Simon scoffed at your unapologetic reasoning. “And you were just going to do this alone? Not even someone to watch the cameras out for you? What if you get compromised?”

Here we fucking go again. You grabbed the taps sitting on the desk, putting them in a small satchel securely tied to your belt. “Can you not criticize the way I do things every fucking conversation? I’m doing what I do best, Simon. I’ve never been compromised before. That’s a streak I intend to keep.”

He stepped towards you, his frame menacing as he towered over you. Hearing your name come from your lips was still something he wasn’t used to. Despite that, he wasn’t going to let you do this alone. This time, his tone was gentle yet resolute. “I’m letting the force know and I’m going to monitor the cameras.”

Looking up into his eyes, you could see that he wasn’t going to waver from his decision. There was no point fighting about this, you finally decided. Not even twelve hours ago was your last fight with him. A part of you was getting tired of it. Stepping back towards the hotel window to leave, you threw in the towel. It wasn’t going to stop you from getting the job done anyhow. “Do whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.”

“Hang on.” Ghost stopped you, his hand reaching out to grab your wrist. He pulled you towards him, using the advantage of his strength to have you close to him. Anticipating you to either reach for your knives or strike him with your other hand, he prepared to guard himself. However, you never used the same trick twice in a row.

Like a forceful tango, you stepped your full weight forward to catch him off balance. You then pushed further as he was forced to step back lest you headbutt him, your hand now having the room to land on his chest with a quick, sharp force. In Simon’s fall, you swiped his sheathed knife from his own belt. Before he knew it, he was laying on his back on your bed, you straddling him, his eyes locking with yours that blazed with victory.

Ghost’s strong hand was still wrapped around your wrist, but your free hand had his own knife pressed against his chest. Right over his heart that was thudding against his chest like it wanted to break out. The hot blood in his body was pumping into overdrive. Not in fear of death. No. In pure, passionate attraction. He swallowed hard, fighting back the urge to still pull you down and kiss you through his mask. Even if it would cause the knife to be plunged into his heart, the thought of being able to share a passionate kiss with you didn’t seem like a bad tradeoff.

Tendrils of your hair fell past your face, framing a beautiful jawline he wanted to trace with his lips. The image of you gasping in shock and pleasure as he squeezed your hips flashed in his mind for a second. It wouldn't have been hard to do. His other hand was still free but frozen as you pressed the tip of the blade into his chest. He also imagined the potential sweetness of your tongue, giving him a taste of dessert after dinner. He wanted to be the one to catch you by surprise and submit to his will. Only, you would love it and beg for more through feverish kisses and the grinding of your hips against his.

Christ, he was getting a boner.

He wasn’t the only one who was feeling it, though. The sound of your own heartbeat was flooding your ears. You couldn’t seem to pull away from his blue eyes that so heatedly begged for you to come closer. The heat already felt from your body pressing against his didn’t feel like enough. Especially when you began to feel his growing hardness pressing against you. That just made your own sex tingle with need.

You got off of him quickly, putting distance between the two of you. What the fuck were you doing?! What the hell was wrong with you?! You haven't been with anyone for so long, but it was no excuse to get so swept up like this. Not with someone like Ghost. Not with someone like Simon Riley. You needed to get a fucking grip. Get your head on straight. Damn it, you were better than this!

Slowly, he sat up and cleared his throat, trying to pretend that what just happened wasn’t the sexiest thing he’s ever been through. His knife was tossed onto the bed next to him, your movements quick as you rushed to get the fuck out of there.

However, when Simon called your name, you froze. He sounded a little breathless, his voice making you shiver. “Hex, wait.”

Simon stood from the bed to grab something from the desk. Cautiously, he walked towards you, now learning his lesson that it wasn’t a great idea to just grab you so suddenly for multiple reasons. At a slow pace, he opened his large palm to show you a small earpiece. Still being careful with his speed and touch, he lightly brushed your hair behind your ear and inserted the earpiece for you. You flinched as his fingers brushed against your jaw, butterflies erupting within you.

“You’ll be able to hear me through this. I won’t say anything unless I really have to. You’ll be able to talk to me through it too. Whatever you want, whatever you need, just say it.” Ghost promised.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. You feared that using your voice would reveal just how flustered you were over what just transpired. Instead, you gave a simple nod and headed back to your window.

The nighttime breeze flooded in as soon as you opened the window, the chill seeping into your bones. Good. You needed to cool off. Without looking back, you slipped out into the night, leaving Simon behind to wonder if supposed enemies were supposed to be attracted to each other like this.

The shadows concealed you, the moonlight accentuating them on every surface they could touch. Quietly and quickly, you moved from shadow to shadow until you stumbled upon the targeted building. From the outside, it looked like a rundown, abandoned office building up for sale. The place was hidden away, tucked behind the forefront of what Italy wanted to offer instead. Beauty.

You watched armed men standing guard, looking out into the alleyways for enemies. Sticking to the shadows, you crept along the side of the building before spotting an open window just above you. Taking a deep breath to focus your mind, you sprung into action. With a few wall jumps, you were right in one of Makarov’s weapons depot.

From the laptops back at the hotel, Ghost carefully watched the footage, almost holding his breath as he searched for you. His team gathered into the room once he told them you had left already. They had assumed that all the time he spent missing with you was just him helping set up the tech. He didn’t correct them on this. Like you had said before, never underestimate the power of assumptions.

Relief washed over his shoulders as soon as he saw your figure invade the building. Just as fast as you had entered, you hid, dropping a tap that was modeled to look like a dead fly onto the dirty tile. The place was dusty, the smell of stagnant air filling your lungs. The men here didn’t care about the cleanliness of the place. Fortunately for the 141, that meant that they wouldn't have to worry about anyone cleaning up the “dead flies.”

All of the men watched the footage as you swiftly made your way from room to room dropping flies. Soap double checked to make sure that the enemies’ own footage was still scrubbed as you worked. Regardless, you moved so carefully that any video of you just looked like a weird, black glitch. You were in your zone. This is what you did for years. This is what you have secretly missed doing.

Every move you made was calculated, following a strict regime based on the men’s own schedule. As you dropped more and more taps, Price began to check if they worked on his end. Sure enough, they could hear everything.

Gaz noticed that Ghost’s body was rigid, his eyes refusing to leave the screens. He was keeping track of you like he would lose sight of you if he blinked. Wanting to ease his worries, he began to prepare some tea using the hotel’s electric kettle. Kyle was always one to look out for his friends like this.

A hot cup of black tea was placed in front of Ghost, the smell already releasing the tension in his muscles. Gaz pat his stiff shoulder. “She’s gonna be alright, bruv.”

Ghost gave a silent nod, finally taking a moment to let his eyes wander off of the monitor to have a sip of tea. Now that he was more relaxed, he viewed your movements in a more admiring way. None of them could pull off how smoothly you moved. How easy you glided through like a gust of wind passing through. Even when you were close to an enemy, you kept your cool, refrained from killing, and moved on without detection.

You were a god damn modern-day ninja. A fine one at that.

In less than an hour, you had swept through the whole building without detection. Every tap was planted. Not once did you hear Simon in your ear either. You were glad. You felt like if you heard his voice through the earpiece it would break your flow. But, a part of you did yearn to hear his deep voice so close to you.

Getting out was the easiest part. Having no one seen you come in, you took the same route out. When you came back through the window, you were met with grateful smiles and words of praise that were foreign to your ears. Ghost wanted to be the first one to say something about your skills, but loud-mouth Sergeant Soap beat him to it. “Damn, Lass! I think you just set a record for 141!”

“That was quite impressive stuff there, Hex. It was like you were never there. Kate was right about you.” Price grinned as he thanked you in his own way.

Gaz hopped on the headphones to listen to the taps as soon as his Captain moved. “All of them are working just fine. I’ve only ever seen moves like that in movies and video games. Job well done!”

You were unsure of what to do with all of this attention, never having experienced it before. When you worked alone, there was no one to tell you that you did well when you got back. You didn’t know if all of this flattery made you feel good. In all honesty, the confusion you felt about it made you a little sick to your stomach.

Weaving past them all, you grabbed your cold plate of food that Simon brought to you earlier and left without a word through the door. After receiving some worried glances from his soldiers, Price provided some words of reassurance. “Don’t worry, men. Hex probably isn’t used to having people wait for her like this, let alone praise for good work. Give her time.”

As the team brought back some of the tech to monitor from their rooms, Ghost stepped out into the hallway to look for you. He initially thought that you would be in one of their rooms to use the microwave, but you were nowhere in sight. While he wanted to keep looking, a call by his Captain to help made him call it there for the night.

And so he spent the rest of the night bunking with Soap, listening in on private conversations and thinking about you. Meanwhile, you spent your night eating a cold dinner alone on the hotel rooftop. Overlooking the city, your own mind occasionally wandered against your will towards Ghost and how it would feel if his heat saved you from the autumn winds chilling your skin.

#simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fanfic #simon ghost riley #ghost x you #ghost x y/n #ghost x reader #ghost x female reader #ghost x f!reader #cod fanfic #simon riley fanfic #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley #ghost cod #simon riley smut #simon riley x y/n #simon riley x female reader #simon riley x f!reader

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lilacxquartz · 14 days

Text

CHASING HUMANITY • kenjaku × fem!reader

ao3 • masterlist • << previous chapter • next chapter >>

summary: kenjaku assigns you a new role for a case study, finding that it brings him conflicting feelings.

a/n: extra long chapter <3 no real warnings for this one, maybe sickness & suggestive content. i’m setting it up for a pretty messed up chapter for next time though.

Chapter 4. Cold Soba

In a way, this whole thing didn’t feel real.

What exactly were you really doing here?

And why were you having these thoughts now of all times?

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to steel yourself. No matter how you looked at it, it didn’t look good. You took a life this morning. Whether it was indirect or not, your actions led to the end of someone’s existence and for… what exactly?

What a joke. Suddenly, the air around you felt thicker, more thicker and barely breathable. You wanted to get out of the car sooner than later, lest you forget how to function. Just for a second, nothing more, the promise to stay put be damned.

You left the car anyway. You wouldn’t go far, at least. The gas station nearby where he was parked was sparsely manned with just a single employee. Their unrelenting gaze on you felt almost accusatory, but there was surely no way they knew, so it was all likely in your head… right? You were just browsing around, they were probably just making sure that you weren’t a thief. Fingers flicking through overpriced snacks and drinks alike in the aisles, quickly realising that the very prospect of food nauseated you.

In a strained tone, you asked the clerk if there was a bathroom on-site and he said there was one around the corner of the building, accessible from the outside. You tore forward in a flash, slamming the door and locking yourself in the tiny room yet somehow, it felt less suffocating than being in the car with him.

For a while you just stood there, your body reeling. Your eyes focused on the shoddy lock that barely kept the outside world away.

Soon enough, the wave of nausea passed through you again. Whether you wanted it, whatever little substance was in your stomach was coming back up and you couldn’t do a single thing about it.

Flipping the lid open, you dry heaved into the bowl.

Your mind continued to overwhelm itself with confusion.

Why did you act like that, back there?

You had never shown even a hint of potentially being violent, so why did you act like taking a life away like that was… nothing at all? Did living the way you did, so empty and numb and abused, really give you the right to apply that same level of depravity towards someone else just as undeserving?

Was it worth it? Your mind continued to challenge you, almost tauntingly. Was it? To attempt to impress someone who didn’t even see meaning behind your own life? Who nearly left you for dead?

You weren’t so sure why you were having these thoughts now but here you were, unable to escape them.

Leaving after washing up, you settled back into the passenger seat of the car, finding that Kenjaku was now wide awake, staring blankly at the steering wheel. He glanced you over without regarding you before pulling the car back onto the road.

Attempting to diffuse the tension, you tried to break the ice. “Thought I ran off?”

For a while, he didn’t reply as though seeing through you. Kenjaku recognised that look that you currently were, finding it almost nostalgic. After his first kill, his mind also spiralled in a similar fashion. It was a familiar feeling by now though and he had grown desensitised to the whole thing, prioritising his efforts into chasing the meaning behind humanity.

Still, it was a look he could never forget.

Meaning that you must have gotten him to an extent.

Maybe you were even trying to find your own meaning too, in the midst of this whole mess that you got yourself into.

“Not at all,” he finally said, “you’re not that stupid.”

The drive for the most part down the freeway was surprisingly quiet, the radio tuning into music on and off with static that buzzed when the connection faltered. You stared out of the window, seemingly dissociating through the ride. He didn’t mind. Eventually, he found himself tuning into the news, shuddering when he caught a mention of his calling card being found earlier than anticipated, with one suspected not yet found victim.

How quaint. Did the local authorities really think that you were the second victim? Almost. Luckily he got that itch scratched with the unfortunate tourist.

He supposed that it made sense that you were reported missing, though. He wondered if your cop boyfriend was the one to report it, or if someone else saw something they shouldn’t have. Maybe he was careless and you left behind something that indicated a struggle or maybe you simply had places to be during the early morning that seemed suspicious in the wake of a fresh murder. As long as they kept their efforts isolated to the vicinity of the town though, then neither of you needn’t worry, at least for a while.

Kenjaku flicked his gaze back at you, wondering why he was even giving you so much thought.

It didn’t matter to him whether you left the shithole he found you in or not, but by bringing you along, he invited an extra inconvenience in doing so. If you were to be a missing person, then he would likely have to disguise you a little now. Maybe shorter hair and a different colour. Red might be good. Maybe something you wouldn’t usually wear. Anything to distract the public from what you typically looked like.

The drive itself was long and tedious either way, but it did soon come to an end. Parking the car over a cheap inn-style hotel near a different town, not too far from the road, he figured that some real rest wouldn’t hurt at least for a couple of nights. If the efforts were focused elsewhere for now, then that’s all that mattered. He would get you a new phone, something simple, just to use as a burner. New clothes and some hair dye. To keep himself hidden, he would dress down for a while, refraining from the recognisable robes.

A shame. Those things were comfortable.

Leaving you behind to rest in the hotel room, he could only hope that you stayed put that time and weren’t roaming around the area causing more trouble than he could keep up with.

It would be a shame to get rid of you soon.

~~~

With everything back in tow, he found you resting on the still made hotel bed when he got back, indicating that you hadn’t moved a single inch since he had left you there. Good. You weren’t a hindrance, after all.

Leaving the goods there, he set out again, walking around this town in particular for a quick bite to eat and maybe, if luck had it in store for him, a brand new study.

It was a risk though, but he couldn’t help but be curious about places like these where life moved slowly and the residents seemed more often than not, to not quite be enjoying their lives in such areas.

A peculiar thought, perhaps. When he still worked in the city, the common narrative was to fantasise about owning property in the countryside, far away from any stress.

Maybe the lacking bustle just meant that now there was nothing left to blame, so that’s why people tended to lose themselves instead in places like these.

Kenjaku soon found himself walking into a noodle bar. It had barely caught his eye as the sheet metal sign that advertised it just over the entrance was long faded, but a blackboard outside seemed to hint at a lunch discount. Shrugging, he thought that it couldn’t be too bad. Food was food and he was hungry. so he could gamble a bite to eat.

His order was taken by a rather unkempt man which should have been his first warning about this place. Unclean fingernails and greasy hair that tied strands of hair together, oil stains that painted the man’s once white t-shirt. The udon he ordered seemed to be prepared by the same guy, who slid the bowl over the bar table.

Maybe he was going through something, which meant all the better for him. A vulnerable mind meant it was easier to break into.

Ignoring the hair he found in the broth, he reluctantly took it out and tried the dish. Not too bad, but he refrained from complaining. This strange man might just be the next case study.

“Haven’t seen you here before,” the man spoke as he threw a towel over his shoulder, planting his palms over the counter.

“Oh, I’m just passing by,” Kenjaku replied, feigning politeness. He was capable of doing so perfectly well, as long as he didn’t have to do it too often. He preferred stalking his prey however rather than mingling with it.

The man grimaced slightly at the strand of hair sitting on the napkin, but didn’t apologise for it. “So, where are you going?”

Kenjaku slurped on his noodles passively, replying between contained bites. “Probably Tokyo.”

“Probably?” the man laughed, trying to joke. “You don’t know where you’re going?”

“I’m just out on a day trip,” he replied, “the destination is a mystery, you know?”

The man quietened down after that, realising that he was talking a bit too much. It couldn’t be helped though—the place often did poorly—there were very few customers, let alone new faces that turned up each day.

Setting his chopsticks down, Kenjaku then looked around. The restaurant was small, but cosy at least. There was a distinctive humming sound coming from an old cooler that had maybe three total drinks inside. The fact that the man had very little to do, implied that the place wasn’t thriving. If he didn’t come back to work the next day, it would very likely not be immediately noticed.

“You run this place all by yourself?” Kenjaku asked, sifting through this wallet to pull out a few bills.

Taking the cash, the man shook his head. “Nah, my brother takes the evening shifts. We run it together. Used to be more popular, but there’s a population decline. More people keep leaving for the city.”

“I suppose there’s more work there,” Kenjaku speculated. For the sake of getting onto this guy’s good side to maintain the facade however, he chose to maintain his politeness while offering some sense of humour to further match the guy’s personality. “I’m still around for another day or two, make sure to stay in business.”

The guy laughed as he took back the bowl, his tone of voice sounding almost relieved, “I’ll try.”

Kenjaku pushed himself back from the stool and walked around the town to see if there would be anyone else more suitable of a candidate for the role, but it didn’t really seem to be the case. The residents in the town weren’t particularly special in any way with the occupants mostly being senior citizens and maybe a few younger people who had the misfortune of their family living here.

So perhaps the man who ran the failing noodle shop, who still found a reason to smile despite being clearly in shambles, was the next in line.

He did wonder to himself what exactly could possibly be the reason. The only hint that he had was that the guy liked to joke and shied away when there was no response. He probably had a corny reason to keep going, like seeing others smile.

Although, as he made his rounds back, he saw that the man remained unchanged from his work attire but was now standing at a bus stop. This town wasn’t too small, just empty, large enough to call for a bus route so he wondered where this man actually lived. It wasn’t too uncommon to reside in an elderly parent’s house, especially in places like these and since he worked with his sibling, he wagered it to be just that.

An amusing thought entered his mind however, as he saw him shy away from a woman waiting for the same bus. Not that she noticed it, her focus rightfully turned away from him, but he seemed to be shifting around nervously.

This gave Kenjaku a curious idea.

He was travelling with a woman, after all.

Returning back to the hotel, he noticed that you were only just now waking up. With an eye roll, he chucked the box of hair dye at you and crossed his arms, waiting for you to register what was evening happening.

“What’s this?” you asked, your voice strained with sleep.

“What does it look like?” he asked, his eyes narrowing at your silly question.

You held the box in front of you to inspect it in the dim light. It was still day, but the closed curtains made it difficult to see.

“Hair dye…?” you observed.

He smiled, finding your slow and tired mind to be entertaining. “Very good. Think you can do that now?”

“Right now?” you asked, yawning again. Your arms stretched so far that the box tumbled right out of your hand, watching as his eyes narrowed the longer he watched you.

With a firm and slow nod, he confirmed it to you, “Yes… and you’ll also change into the clothes I got you. You’re on the run, remember? You can’t look too much like yourself.”

Swinging your legs out of bed, you reached down to pick up the dye and walked over to the bathroom, pausing as he tugged on your hair to halt you in place.

“Also,” he added, “you’re getting a shorter cut. Don’t worry, I’ll entrust myself as your hairdresser, I’m sure it won’t look too bad.”

You warily laughed, trying to pry him off of your hair. You still felt off though, the very little sleep that you had doing little to soothe your still ongoing worries. “I’ll… trust you.”

Letting you go, he nodded again. As Kenjaku thought more and more about the plan, he couldn’t help but feel a bit odd about the whole thing without understanding why. It wasn’t jealousy, but something still stirred at the idea of you redirecting the ego feeding attention you were so happy to give him and putting it elsewhere.

He knew he was being irrational though; you didn’t even know about the plan just yet and he was already annoyed at you.

Shaking the thought away, Kenjaku focused more on discarding every single thing you had on your person and burning it off somewhere down the road or maybe chucking it into a dumpster somewhere once he got to the city.

As you soon emerged from the bathroom, your hair was still damp but you filled out the new clothes he got you pretty well. Something inconspicuous. Just a black long sleeve top and some jeans in a different cut from before. You still looked like yourself, but different which would hopefully be distracting enough to the untrained eye.

Slipping into his own bag, he pulled out some scissors and brought you forward, reeling you in as he tried to keep you secure. He patted his pocket for a hair tie, pulling your still wet strands back without warning.

“Hey, that hurts—“ you protested in complaint.

“Bear with it,” he tutted, rolling his eyes. You wouldn’t have been compliant either way and he didn’t want to sink too much time into doing it properly.

Cutting the ends off, he stared at the result. It was good enough, he supposed. Perhaps the colour was too eye catching, but at least people wouldn’t focus too much on the face. Given what you were wearing and how you looked when he first met you, he figured that your partner would be the type to describe you as shy and maybe even frumpy, so this sleeker appearance was doing more favours than not.

Your voice then brought him back down to earth. Surprise, surprise. More complaints. “Did you really have to take so much off?”

He glanced at the pile of hair on the floor, shrugging. “It’s easier to take care of now, be thankful.”

“Why aren’t you getting a haircut then?” you asked, attempting to sass him. He did have long hair, after all.

“Because,” he poked at your forehead yet again, enjoying messing with you, “I’m actually capable of taking care of myself.”

Besides, he wanted to continue to walk in Geto’s shoes for a while longer. It’s partially why he wanted to stop by Tokyo, loving the paradox of a cruel monk. There were some interesting prospects in the city and he wanted to secure some deals before moving further up north.

As you mourned your hair, Kenjaku took a step back, setting the scissors aside and leaned his back into the sofa. The news channels were talking all about the barbed wire shibari, his motives still speculated as unclear.

How funny.

If only they knew.

Arousal soon stirred in his trousers as more and more attention to his kill was addressed, a coiling feeling that made his cock feel hard. For a moment, he considered something darker, but he also sought your compliance for tomorrow (and for the foreseeable future) so he withheld. Excusing himself to the bathroom, he stepped into the shower and ran cold water as soon as he undressed. The running flow was loud, like crashing static and was enough to stifle away any grunts and gasps that escaped his frustrated lips.

Stepping out, he was still curious, but he had no intention of ruining the prospect of accomplishing a good study with sex that wasn’t mutual. It was surely annoying though, as the curiosity lingered. Whether or not he got to fuck or not, wasn’t an issue that he exactly cared about. Like with most of his life ideology, he preferred his actions to have meaning. Meaningless sex as a result was just what it was—boring, pointless even.

Maybe that was a him only issue to work on by himself, though. Kenjaku wondered if you would even like it or if you had been maybe put off of it thanks to whatever your boyfriend had you do with him.

Enough about that though.

He wouldn’t force your hand, it wasn’t that type of arrangement. There were more important matters to fixate on, his arousal finally melting away.

“You should sleep,” he said as he squeezed the last of the water out of his hair, throwing the towel over the sofa, “we’re getting up early tomorrow.”

“Are we leaving already?” you asked.

“Nah,” he shook his head, putting on a t-shirt, spreading himself out on the sofa, already concluding that he would sleep on it. He didn’t trust the bed in a place this run down anyway. If anyone was going to get bugs potentially crawling on them in their sleep, it wasn’t going to be him. “New case study in the works. You’re helping me.”

“Oh… okay,” you reluctantly settled into the idea, your mind still spinning from the last time you ‘helped’ him. “To study what they find meaning in, right?”

“Correct,” he replied.

“And what am I helping with?” you asked.

“You’ll be acquiring the trust of a guy I found in the town,” he yawned as he laid it out to you, “just be friendly with him, get his guard to go down—flirt if you have to.”

You frowned at the idea. “Why?”

Kenjaku shrugged. “The guy gets visibly nervous around women I’ve found. I feel like if he trusts you, then we could get him to open up more. You follow?”

You hummed, the idea of your actions leading to someone’s death still sounding foreign in concept. You weren’t terribly okay with it, despite thinking that it was all fine the last time. You already did it once, so in theory you could do so again, you just wondered when you would stop feeling so bad though.

Noticing your cold feet on the matter, Kenjaku raised an eyebrow, sitting up to study your reaction further. Initially, he wasn’t going to pry, but he couldn’t help but feel nosy, “You’re not having second thoughts… are you?”

“I-I don’t know,” you replied, your voice tinged with uncertainty. “It’s just too soon—“

“—oh, but you said you could keep up, no?” Kenjaku interjected, feeling amused by your sudden turnaround. “Are you really saying that your use for me has already run out?”

“No…” you denied, shaking your head, “that’s not what I’m saying, I…”

He tutted, unable to give into messing with you. Still so malleable, you just needed a little push into doing his dirty bidding. “I put a lot on the line for you, you know,” he leaned back, his head rolling over the pillow. “I was perfectly content with burying you, but your whining sold me.”

You took a deep breath, trying to shake off his teasing. “Do I have to kill him with my own hands?”

He smiled. So that’s what this was all about.

“You don’t have to lift a single finger,” he assured you. “Just talk with the guy. It’s not like I’m asking you to have sex with him.”

“Okay… I’ll try,” you replied, unable to not cringe at his crudeness.

Something about you surely did feel colder to him, though. You felt more distant, but he didn’t understand it completely. To him, people were relatively simple—at least usually. You seemed to be mad at yourself for something that you didn’t have to cause, was that it? Nobody forced you to give the tourist the jar full of acid nor to suggest such a method to begin with. You spoke to him with such a tone that implied that you were upset at him for something that he truthfully did very little to influence.

You were blaming him just because he was there. In the last day that he spent with you. he hadn’t done anything to you to make you feel unsafe other than retaining the general aura of unease that he passively carried.

His promise remained true: he wouldn’t kill you so long as you helped him.

And yet you were falling behind.

Kenjaku found himself disliking this sort of thought exercise, realising that you were forcing him to practise empathy. If he had to try and consider it, maybe it was just the side effect of you being both younger and naïve as a result. You seemed sheltered due to the lifestyle you had to endure before, that much wasn’t your fault. That wasn’t on you, he supposed. Jumping from an abusive domestic partner and to the side of someone like him couldn’t have been easy for anyone.

But at the core of it, whatever it was that was going on in that head of yours, wasn’t something that he should care about.

So if you were to keep winding him up with your own personal hindrances, then your usefulness was limited to him.

Once again, he asked you, “Will you keep up?”

Kenjaku stared at you, his gaze unwavering, cold and unrelenting. You were either going to keep up with him or he was going to dispose of you. It was that simple. In his carefully crafted lifestyle that he spent years cultivating where people were nothing beyond the studies they served as, there was no room for failure.

If you failed to comply, then you were defying the very cause that he sought to find answers within.

However, you then replied with a promised confirmation, “Yes. Sorry. I will.”

He watched from the sofa as you laid down to rest, still seeming exhausted, once again disregarding the concept that he could very take you out at any second, freeing you from your sorry existence if he had half a mind to do so.

Perhaps it was that jaded look you had though that stopped him.

The lack of fear missing from your face.

It was a look that he recognised quite well.

Maybe you didn’t care what he actually ended up doing, even if it did end with your body six feet under or burnt down into ashes, scattered into the back of a dumpster. Maybe you wouldn’t even care about torture inflicted on your body. Something told him deep down that such a thing was the case of you.

And that very little notion bothered him more than he cared to admit, because suddenly, he found himself being able to relate to you.

If there was no meaning to your life, then you were in the exact same boat as he was and perhaps this was something he was missing all along.

Maybe you’d both just cause each other to sink faster, but maybe—just maybe—one of you could find the lifeline instead.

But would you hold on?

…Would he?

~~~

The alarm sounded rather loudly in the morning at around eight o’clock. Given the season, it was still quite dark as well, but that was largely due to the cloudy skies. Kenjaku was able to both wake up and get up with ease, but it seemed to be a completely different story for you.

He narrowed his eyes as he turned the corner, seeing you perfectly passed out and not too different from a corpse. For a moment, he considered that you could actually be dead, but then he saw you turn onto your side.

“Up,” he firmly said, nudging at your tucked in shoulder.

You however did not immediately get up.

Kenjaku simply just sighed and stared at you with a resigned expression, tutting at the slight predicament he found himself in with you. Maybe he was just getting too old for this. How much sleep could you possibly need anyway? You were relaxing for most of the day yesterday as well.

Finally, you mumbled something in your sleep but it was far from coherent. He repeated his command a bit louder that time, finding that it only seemed to make you fall deeper asleep as your body sank even further into the mattress.

“Really?” he muttered.

He was about to tear off the covers in slight annoyance but then you finally stretched awake, yawning and still clothed. The bedding absorbed some of the dye. More to throw and burn away, he thought, but maybe after the upcoming case study, if it all goes according to plan.

“Finally,” he mumbled, watching you rise from your wake. The more he stared at you, the more irritated he got from the plan he had in mind for you, not quite understanding his own agitation.

It was as though he was pissed off at you for doing something before you even knew what you were getting yourself into.

Rationally, he knew that the blame was unjustified.

Finally out of bed, you adjusted your clothes and brushed out your hair. You still looked half asleep and in the process of waking up, but you were up and ready.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he walked you out of the hotel room and flipped the door sign to not be disturbed before directing you into the car.

“We’ll have to find you someone who can resemble your face card,” he said, buckling himself in. “We’ll be stopping by Tokyo, so we can find some nobody for you to become. A new name can open up more opportunities, especially since you look a bit different now.”

You simply nodded, throwing him off a little bit. Maybe you were just tired, he speculated, but the way you were acting hinted at something deeper, something cryptic that you were purposefully withholding from him. While he didn’t expect you to get chummy with him, it was a little odd that your personality was as erratic as it was.

He didn’t like it.

Being forced to care, that was.

For now he ignored that side of you, continuing to feed you information about the plan at hand and unloading as much information as possible with the hope that you could retain at least some of it.

“I’ve already been there once before,” he continued to say, “the place is usually empty from what it looks like.”

You blankly nodded once again.

“You’re keeping up with me here, right?” he asked.

You casted him a blank stare before stretching your arms out in the car, as if still exhausted. “Yeah. I’ll get the guy’s number and invite him over.”

“If you’re lucky,” he reminded you, “it might not work, but you’re likely capable of that much, aren’t you?”

“You’re putting too much faith in me,” you warned in a soft tone. You were still unsure about your indirect involvement with taking away a life despite knowing fully well what you were getting into the second you asked him to let you tag along.

Besides, if this guy was as insecure as Kenjaku made him out to be, then it had a chance to fail. As a former shy kid, you knew a little too well how it was to have low self esteem and if the man wasn’t too successful with women, then your attempt might seem mocking to him. Even cruel. He would likely be suspicious about your intentions right away.

You knew that you would be if you were in his shoes, anyway.

“Are you saying that I shouldn’t trust you with the plan?” he asked, trying to read you.

You however shook your head, shrugging your shoulders as you did so. Your answer wasn’t really all that clear. “I’m saying to keep your expectations realistic.”

He nodded too, feeling annoyed with your vagueness.

So cryptic, so cold.

So distant, almost.

Kenjaku didn’t like it anymore; he wanted that bantering, rebellious woman he met just days ago who wanted to defy all order while seeking out chaos, because that’s what drew him to you to begin with. This whole display however just felt… boring, for a lack of better words.

Just like the rest of them.

What happened to the version of you that poked fun at him or even jokingly defied him? What happened to the strange person who would feed his ego and flatter him?

Why were you… so confusing?

Was it because you were still hung up over what happened with the tourist? What was his name—Seb? Sean? …Seth? He didn’t really care to remember his name, seeing him as just another statistic in his journal of reports. Still, you shouldn’t be so upset, he thought, he was the one who endured the ugly parts after all, he was the one who studied those people, not you.

And if it was violence that you were so afraid of, then he would happily take on the responsibility of taking on the burden of dirty work forever, leaving you to play the part of someone trustworthy.

What he truly wanted from you was just someone who got it above all, someone that he could joke with and catch sass from.

(Was he lonely? Really? Him?)

How frustrating.

Try as he might, however, he could not read minds all the same. So whatever it was that was going on in that pretty head of yours was not something he knew anything about. What did you really want? And why were you being so elusive, so unclear?

Kenjaku could only sigh as he pulled into the on-street parking.

This was why he worked alone.

No mess, no overthinking the little things.

“You’ll do as you’re told,” he could only say, deciding to match you on the coldness you were giving him. You were being unfair when he was being surprisingly neutral. Ungrateful is what you were; quite literally biting the hand that kept you fed and concealed away from the chasing force that willed you back into a loveless home. Stupid girl. You didn’t understand.

“Okay,” you flatly responded.

There you went again with that bland tone, like a record playing a dull melody. Lifeless and uncaring.

Did you even want to be here?

…Did you even want to be alive?

Maybe you didn’t deserve to find meaning in your own life, after all.

Getting out of the car, he slammed the door shut and locked it as soon as you were out too, gesturing for you to follow him. The red hair looked good in the sunlight, he thought. A good decision on his part. Maybe you should be wearing glasses too to further conceal your features? On the other hand, maybe not. You were fine with how you were. They were searching for a corpse back in dirt hole you crawled out from, not a live crimson haired woman hours away from the area.

You’d be fine.

“One bowl of cold soba,” Kenjaku ordered as soon as he walked in. Despite the season, he could always go for something refreshing. He almost prayed to himself for the man to get it right and for no hair of mysterious origins to make it into the broth.

He glanced at you, waiting for you to order. It would be on the house for you, so you’d better be thankful.

“Beef udon, please,” you quietly asked a moment after reading the menu.

So quiet. So annoying. Why weren’t you being more assertive? Confident? He hated witnessing whatever it was that was going on, feeling more and more agitated the longer that he was forced to watch. Had something happened even just last night? You went to sleep after being off all day and then it somehow got worse.

Even just being in the same room as you bothered him. You sat alone at the bar stool while he sat further into the restaurant, scrolling mindlessly away on his burner phone, elusively checking on a possible son of his’ social media, his eyes narrowing as he failed to keep up with the ‘pranks’ the boy kept posting about.

Kenjaku sighed as he looked at you, after pocketing his phone as the meal was served to his table.

Tokyo could be good for a lot of reasons, he thought. It wasn’t too far away, but the current prediction seemed to be that he would stay in the south, from what he managed to get tipped off on from his moles back in the city. Besides, the city could give him more room to hide in even if he still continued to ‘study’ people, just as long as he played it carefully.

Especially since the goal was to otherwise find someone whose life you could assimilate into; maybe they wouldn’t have much going on or no immediate next of kin, which would make their search all the more delayed. Identity theft on its own was otherwise an easily enough accomplished task through paid forgery, he supposed, but there was something extra special about living on in the lives he had erased from existence.

It was like a sentimental legacy.

This would be a driving point that he would attempt to get you to understand too, like a mental initiation. The importance of both sacrifice and dedication.

It was almost symbolic, he thought.

Quickly torn away from his internal monologue, his focus was brought back to you when he heard laughter from the counter. He narrowed his sights as he leaned in and slurped on his noodles, listening in on what sounded like a genuine laugh that escaped your lips.

How odd.

Your lips were tightly curled and dimples poked at your cheeks. Your eyes squeezed into crescents—all at something the man was telling you, a smile just as bright on his face too.

Was this all an act?

No, that was an involuntary giggle; you even snorted. Something that the oaf had managed to utter left you feeling genuinely entertained.

Kenjaku then heard more.

You even called the man funny.

A compliment? Technically, he did encourage flirting, so he couldn’t be too annoyed at the delivery. That’s what your assigned role for today was. You had to get the guy to trust you so that you could lure him back into the hotel, it was that simple and yet, all it did was leave behind a strangely complicated feeling that stirred within him.

It wasn’t jealousy, he had been over this with himself already.

So what did that leave?

Whatever. It wasn’t important for now. If you were capable of completing the job successfully just as he had asked you to do, then that’s what he should be focusing on.

He wondered more about the man, he didn’t care to learn about his name, just like the others. This was subject number 15 or the restaurant worker, at best. Ordinary subjects didn’t deserve to honoured, not when their calling cards would make them so much more memorable instead.

Kenjaku tilted his head to the side, watching the interaction. He speculated that this man could technically find the reason for going in with others, perhaps. He seemed quite dim before making you laugh, after all, and now his expression was completely lit up.

An interesting specimen, indeed.

He finished up on the dish, focusing on you and ignoring him. This wasn’t envy, he thought to remind himself, as if trying to convince himself, even. Maybe it was something closer to entitlement. Whatever it was, he didn’t like that after doing everything otherwise correct at your side, that you were giving the warmth you otherwise kept locked away to a total stranger instead.

Entitlement indeed, he was a stranger to you too.

But it felt different somehow.

You then seemed to be exchanging phone numbers with the guy as he tapped the digits into your own burner phone.

Mission accomplished, he supposed.

That meant that it was a good time for him to leave then, throwing some bills at the counter as he motioned for you to follow suit. He wondered what type of relationship the guy thought you and he both had, clearly something unimportant if he thought that he was actually getting somewhere with you.

That was almost hilarious.

The drive back was in complete silence though, just like before. You were cold again.

With a weary sigh, he tried not to pay it any mind. “Text him all day if you’re able to, then invite him over for tomorrow evening.”

You nodded idly at his request with a blank look on your face.

It was then that he finally got it.

It hit him, just like that, like a sharp slap to the face.

He had seen that look after all, he even acknowledged it all the way back in the gas station.

You were simply being cold because you didn’t understand.

It was very likely a learned response from your relationship, if he had to guess. You probably just learned to bottle up your feelings and then never opened up the lid, because why would you?

Albeit reluctantly, he finally gambled a portion of his still latching shred of humanity that he had left. In a way, this was a lesson to him all the same, even if it didn’t have to resort to something violent.

While empathy was a foreign concept to him, he didn’t want to be ignored by someone that he finally found that he doesn’t mind keeping around for the long term. Being ignored hurts no matter how tough you are, he supposed and besides, it wasn’t good for his arrogance.

So for you, he would make do.

Settling in right beside you, he finally closed the gap not saying a single word and to his surprise, the tension you held onto finally seemed to sag. The stress finally seemed to melt away.

It wasn’t quite something he expected to endure, but he tolerated the sensation of you sobbing into his shoulder, trying to stifle it all at the same time.

Maybe if somebody did this for him after his first kill, he wouldn’t have become so far gone either.

So maybe you weren’t a pesky brat, nor vile, nor dumb or lacking. Just misguided, forced to endure what you shouldn’t have.

Maybe you did truly get it, after all.

What a strange sort of accomplishment he felt.

For today, he felt that he had truly learned.

If not about you, then humanity? And if not humanity, then about you?

(…About both?)

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