#Anyway this is already too complicated
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I get that this doesn't include all genders and all experiences and whatnot but like
E5 is literally exactly my gender. Down to the colour and everything. Like literally thats it
Tag yourself! I'm somewhere between F1 and F2!!
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!!!EDIT!!! Plz read before sending hate:
Look, I genuinely get that this graph doesn't have every gender on it. I know that it is labeled weird, I know that female & male and nonbinary/genderqueer & agender are on opposite sides of the chart. I know that this isn't inclusive to xenogenders, bigender, genderfluid, and a bunch of other genders. I know that people are upset about male being blue and female being pink. I know this graph is not inclusive for every gender out there. I really really do. I never claimed that it had all genders. Hell, I didn't even say it was a great graph! This photo is a screenshot of someone's random Twitter post that I found on pinterest and thought was neat. It was my first time seeing a gender graph that was something more besides male and female and it made me excited. I just wanted to share it with others. If it doesn't fit you, just say so. If your gender isn't on there, just say so. If you want to say how it could be improved or critique it's flaws, then by all means please do so! I have enjoyed scrolling through and seeing all the reblogs and people educating me and sharing better graphs. I love the discussions! I love the battleship and bingo jokes/games that have started. But I would really really appreciate if people would stop sending hate and shaming me for a graph I didn't even create. I am really really sorry for anyone I offended or hurt, it was NOT my intention. That is never my intention. I genuinely didn't think this post would even get more than like 5 likes, I was just sharing something that I thought was neat....
#With the exception of some days where I'm C3-D4#Even though that might just be an effect of dysphoria for the ones closer to 'male'#Who knows#Either way this a reaaallly accurate graph for me#Actually yea C4-D5 might be a better way to describe the somedays#But generally I'm no further than D4-E5#And E5 is usually my strongest gender euphoria#I suppose I can dip into F6 for a moment but those are really short really gender euphoria-ey moments#Anyway this is already too complicated#I'm E5#curious to hear what @entity56 would say abt this tho
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I’m so sorry about your mother. I’m sorry I can’t bring her back, but please just…
#Arcane#League of Legends#arcaneedit#animationedit#loledit#Vi#Caitlyn#Caitvi#*mine#yeah sorry i know this scene has already been massively overgiffed#anyway gdi Cait this is why we have trust and abandonment issues#but to be fair i think they were both asking a lot of each other in an extremely volatile and complicated situation#like Vi gave up a lot of herself to be there for Cait#but she's also asking a lot from Cait in return who is not in the best mental and emotional state right now#there's just too much at stake here but Cait should've never made a promise she couldn't keep!!
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*looking at isat ss discord* my power of being silly got out of control
or how I tried understanding rpg maker basics by literally trying to do one (1) thing I really wanted to see ever since seeing Loop unused sprites lying on wiki months ago
the reason I mentioned isat ss discord was simply bc guys were the first people who saw me trying to draw close to pixel sprite face sprite for Loop to,,, do something at some point just to see how it works
and nope I'm not making this into anything, but I really like the fact that I managed to do this
(now with video post edited into this sentence!)
#the Start and the Epilogue is still planned as a visual novel in my head#I got myself rpg maker to make my thing later which is entirely not related to isat (I already showed my OCs involved in that)#isat shitpost#isat spoilers#isat#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat head housemaiden#that one post about voices difference in isat really helped as it is a bit confusing otherwise#I learn by taking apart stuff - that's how I learn#and how I analyze too#break down the character break down the game to the point of literal out-of-bounds make it all make sense in your head#as my head REALLY likes to complicate AND simplify things#basically this was both#also I have a newfound admiration of rpg games as planning ALL this is honestly so cool#like you need to have EXTREMELY clear picture of what you see otherwise it'll break and you won't be able to fix it properly#also Loop's sprite was flying for so long before I understood the problem and it was funny as hell tbh#also they're not in my Seafoam design bc I was... honestly a bit too tired to make new sprites#so I jsut changed soe details on the ones I already looked over and called it a day for now#I'm sleepy and this silly thing took me 3-4 hours and it's like 3 seconds long#but to be fair I was confused for first 2 hours#anyway shout out to isat ss discord and a happy Loop Wednesday (it's 1 am of 5th so it IS a Loop Wednesday)#not art#sillied too hard#I also accidentally softlocked myself by putting Loop nest to Head Housemaiden so they're a bit futher from her#two hats spoilers#I FORGOT that tag
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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btw tw for talking about abuse
I've seen a lot online about how the game never mentions Caterina's abuse of Lucanis while he was growing up (being beaten and starved, which is mentioned in the Wigmaker Job) and I think there's a small mention to it if you're a crow (when asked, he says it was torture training under the first talon and that he resented her for a long time)
And while I do think part of the reason why this isn't brought up is just due to how sanitized this game is when it comes to the crows, I think I do understand why in world wise it's not possible to just be like hey lucanis, fuck your grandma.
It's really hard, loving someone who hurts you. Because you know they're hurting you and yet, you still love them. It's even harder when they're family.
Because its not like Lucanis doesn't know that she hurt him. He says so himself - he hated her, he resented her, and althought I do think him 'justifying' it by saying that at least it prepared him for the life of a crow, at least he still admits that it happened.
But the thing is that despite all this shit, she's still his grandmother. And like, yes, blood shouldn't excuse justifing this behaviour, I feel like it's cultural. Idk how spain or italy works when it comes to family, but here in brazil, you'll hear so many stories of physical abuse happening in families, and its still a situation like Lucanis - i hate them, i resent them, i love them, they're my family.
It's a...complicated situation and I think Lucanis's situation is made worst by the fact that he only has two family members alive and that he cannot let go of.
She beat him, she starved him, he hated and resented her, and he was afraid of dissapointing her, even if in her eyes, i don't think he could. I mean, he comes back an abomination and she still tenderly says 'my poor boy' when you rescue her in the Villa.
All in all...it's tought and I think that it would not be Rook's place to suddenly make Lucanis want to kill his grandma bc he wouldn't. Sorting out those feelings is something he has to do himself, and i'l almost glad the game doesn't make rook do a therapy session with him to talk about it.
#its complicated ok#i've just been thinking a lot about this#bc of my relationship with my mom#and coming to terms that i may be experiencing verbal abuse from her#and the very complex feelings i have in regards to her#so i kinda understand where lucanis comes from?#and why its not adressed in game#this is something lucanis has already come to terms with#there's not a lot you can do about it#maybe after caterina died he would think about it#but its not something that can just be 'solved'#in fact i think if caterina straight up died it would be worst#at least with her alive he could have some time to like fucking properly deal with these feelings#idk i'm not defending caterina#i'm just saying its complicated#idk i just see some posts about 'making lucanis realize all the shit caterina did and go kill her'#and i'm like idk if that would do anything for him#btw don't come for me this is a complicated topic and i did my best to express myself in the wretched language that is english#and when i talk about the cultural part#its bc more than once here you'll have people “brush off” that their parents did those things to them#bc its like...'its been so long and its made into the person i am today and there's not much point in dwelling on it'#it may not be the healthiest thing ever#but sometimes its what you have#sometimes you can't think about it too much if you just want to get on with your day#sometimes its does it even fucking matter its so in the past now#anyways#tw talk of abuse#again DON'T COME FOR ME#lucanis dellamorte
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sometimes i wonder what the people who arent into monprom but see it trending think of my miri artwork. do they know her and the pink humanoid are the same character/person. what do people new to the fandom think i have going on here. do they know the miranda that i talk about is the very same miranda. do they know the way i handle her is full horror genre and not just horror comedy. what do they think of the horrors. absolutely curious what the hell anyone thinks of the redesign verse anymore because i intend to only get stranger with it.
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom#do they think shes an oc.#i mean she basically is at this point but like#thats a complicated question anyways#im a splatterpunk and spec evo person set loose inside a party game dating sim#ive been here since the beginning too and you cant get rid of me#trust me the fandom has tried already
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it's basically the same explanation as in the manga, but the anime has made it easier for me to understand what Kabru's beef is with the Touden siblings, and I think that explanation was really well done
#in the manga i was like 'he doesnt like them... because they give their money away??'#but here its much clearer. he doesn't like them because they just straight up funded an underground crime ring#and they didn't know and kabru knows they didn't know#but it's that lack of thought of what the consequences might be of their actions that he really doesnt like#and its such a nice breakdown of a complicated situation#because WE have spent the entire last season falling in love with these siblings and their autistic tendencies#but kabru's brand of neurodivergence is figuring out how people work and understanding social dynamics#he cares so deeply about the dangers a dungeon brings to the humans involved#and understanding how everyone inside and outside a dungeon does what they do and why#and then these two very capable tallmen siblings waltz into town... and they just dont give a shit#they're changing the social environment so much without giving it any thought. thats got to be incredibly grating#/I/ find it annoying when people wont think critically about things i love to think critically about!!#anyway. i love kabru. i love that we're going to start seeing more of him. love that the anime fans are going to fall in love with him too#if they havent already
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"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily."
+ process(tw blood)
Also, look at him, bloody little guy 🥹
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This drawing was inspired by several matador pics :D here and here:
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^ I don't think I'll ever live up to the second one ah. There's several pics of that specific guy just soaked with blood, and I'm uh a bit obsessed with then ITS FUCKED UP I KNOW OKAY! But I've not drawn blood in a while so it was a bit difficult so I added less than I would want to I guess. Also I'm obsessed with how often they kneel in bullfighting?? Like okay who are you arching your back and spreading your legs for-
#ah not 100% sure abt this one but i think i still like it!!!#i was practicing matador poses during the wknd and im like yeah should prob paint one#and then it felt like all the energy left my body djfkkglg i was like ugh how do i paint again?????#mostly: just really wanted to draw him bloody#i love how every time i draw him in ferrari colors its just the most eye bleeding thing ever#my eyes get too used to it on my ipad's display and im like aw this isnt red enough :(#and then i transfer it to my phone and it feels like the red suddenly is hurting my eyes even worse djfkkglg#im glad the blood turned out well. i honestly think it was probably easier bcs the clothes are red already#but yes yes suffering ferrari nando. hes my comfort character atp 😭😭#perfect catie drawing: depressed ferrari fernando. blood. napoleon quote#anyways yeah lmk! i think it looks okay?? idk i think i just love the first 2 matador drawings i ever did#and its very hard to live up to them. but whatever. we move on#im glad i did a more complicated pose at least ?????#also god i was somewhat annoyed w his face and then i redrew his eye and it was like OH OKAY suddenly good okay#tw blood#<- i would put this drawing under the cut but like. my blog i do what i want and i want to draw blood#i used to draw bloody stuff a lot more but ah idk less opportunities now sjfkkglg so it was kinda nice#catie.art.#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#matador au
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oc-tober day 9, relationships.
a more abstract way of representing some of my favorite relationships in signal to noise. elin and orleans are married but seperated, grace and darcy are in an extremely close-possibly friends with benefits-possibly more relationship, lou and oscar are siblings with a very complex history, samira and jackie are close friends who were closer in their 20s, feynman and odilia are rivals and lovers, and feynman and bell are extremely close friends with a shared secret. and thats not even the whole cast!
for details on what materials are connecting them, check the ids!
#signal to noise#oc-tober#bweirdoctober#elin m pereyra#orleans pereyra#lou iseld#oscar iseld#samira hashemi#jackie delco#isaac feynman#odilia penrose#eric olawale bell#<- FIRST TIME USING THE ERIC TAG? oh i have to post about him more often i love him so.#anyways. this one was very fun on purpose. i cant possibly choose a favorite relationship#as much as odilia/feynman has been occupying my mind lately#if i was slightly less lazy id have done ones for mira w lou and oscar but that was like slightly too complicated#once i had already connected her to jax. thematically fitting ?.
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WOE, RATS BE UPON YE!!
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more Ruju doodles because I lost control of my hands, oops
this time, featuring a later snapshot from Ruju's Commander timeline: set around the time of Secrets of the Obscure and Janthir Wilds, he's now even farther off model than he already was!!
and now some obligatory (non-spoiler) ratmander lore-dumping under the cut:
characterization notes as The Commander™
slowly comes into his own over the years, with his softer side finally showing itself mainly when Aurene chooses him
this rat was the softest little guy wherever she was concerned
no seriously he was almost as clingy with her as she was
Caithe was the serious parent he was the fun uncle/big bro
he used to race her up the jumping puzzle in the egg room
largely wanted her to get to have the childhood he never did
he still play-wrestled with her even once she was 1000x his size
his bond to Aurene helps stabilize his magic significantly
there is an inverted bell-curve of 'respect for the Commander' based on how much experience one has with him
step 1: celebrity hero. step 2: violently insane. step 3: ok yes he's insane but also thank every divinity he's on OUR side
actually did NOT get along with Gorrik at first. he is a grade A projector and also distrusts anyone Inquest immediately
Gorrik being enamored by the murderous beetles did not help.
(that entomologist almost wound up in the sea. oops)
after multiple interventions and a few sincere heart-to-hearts though he's become EXTREMELY protective of the guy
similarly protective of Taimi, though he teases her back too
genuinely struggles to keep track of things. he writes out the canon story journal in a small notebook to help with that
miscellaneous other details you didn't ask for
consistently chooses ferocity-aligned dialogue options even and especially when he has absolutely no good reason to do so
do not pick him up. do not pick him up. do not pick him up.
if he allows you to carry him either he really really likes you or he's pretty sure he'd serve a prison sentence for biting you
acts very big and tough but is a total softie deep down
no seriously if you hug him he might actually cry
(he'll claim it's just something in his eye though)
had some crushes in college and fumbled every single one
50/50 shot of whether the rats he picked on were just easy targets or if he liked them and was trying really hard to cover it up
(if he ever met them again he might actually burst into flames)
incapable of sleeping in normal positions. also snores LOUDLY
puts bloodstone dust on ALL his food. Oxbone would be proud
also makes his own food EXTREMELY spicy when he can
dw he won't put that on yours though. he's not THAT mean
originally got into cooking as a method of training his fire magic
LOVES to put on a big show with it if he has guests, too, complete with all sorts of fancy knife tricks. you get The Works
his ADHD hyperfixation is knives/cutlery. he has told no one this
constant motion/fidgeting, can't keep still. foot tapping, scratching, claw biting, pacing, etc are all very common
#my posts#gw2#guild wars 2#gw2 asura#my art#slooowly improving my rat technique#I also wanted to get some details nailed down for Reasons#I already have his outfits figured out sorta but off model facial design stuff + piercings and scars? needed that too#AND it gave an excuse to share some more lore!! wheeze#I had a full section dedicated to Inquest family drama but I'll save that for another time when it's more relevant#anyway i wanted him to have an ear piercing. it felt right ok#having fun messing with asymmetrical design with him...#(it was also me wanting to practice his big ears and how they move too because they're VERY expressive on him)#yes I'm still avoiding drawing his complicated outfit. shh#since this is the time of soto and jw but has nothing to do with it or any spoilers. it can just be released into the wild ig#chucks this rat at you at high velocity and runs away#Commander Ruju
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sorry i’m not done talking about chaos walking actually. i’m just thinking about todd hewitt as a ya sci-fi protagonist like you just open the book as a 12 year old or whatever and you’re like can’t wait to read about this young hero’s thrilling adventures on this far off planet! okay he’s illiterate. oh he’s mean to his dog. ok he self harms. oh now he’s committing a hate crime. and that’s like. before we even get to book two and the whole complicit in a genocidal regime situation. todd hewitt the character that you are 🫶
#chaos walking#interesting complicated characters my beloveddddddddd#also todd’s self harm is like very much not talked abt enough in my opinion.#patrick ness does an incredible job of capturing the need to externalize your pain and the idea of depression as anger turned inward#pain and grief and rage being too much and hating yourself more than anything for all of it. like yeah#feeling like you’re not enough and punishing yourself for it.#so furious and devastated about whatever it is in your life with nowhere to put those feelings so you turn it all back on yourself#because what else can you do?#you can never be angrier at anyone more than yourself. no one can destroy you more than yourself.#oooouuughh it’s sooooooo good. it’s sooooo good. being a mentally ill teenager is really Like That#because literally of course todd is mentally ill. of course. in the circumstances in which he grew up literally who wouldn’t be#like everything abt his life was already traumatic. and then he goes through more truly unspeakable trauma#whole second half of book two he’s fully just passively suicidal.#but love and connection saves him. viola saves him!! which is why the loss of her in book 2 is so devastating.#he was shown what life could feel like. what it should feel like. and it was not only taken away but corrupted (in his mind).#she was his salvation and then not only abandoned him but put him thru the most horror he’d ever seen (spackle genocide) (he believed)#but still she comes back. still she saves him. and her love is bigger than the trauma than the rage than the pain than anything.#you need to love something so much that you can never be controlled.#anyway!!! patrick ness i am in your walls
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O.K.drawing
#im too lazy to finish corrections#thiswas fun. to. make#me with the bows again...yawn.#im not based i swear kyougokus clothingis jst so complicated.#i need sleep#i need to put him in a blender#im too lazy to even finish this#i think i said that already.#its not like anyone cares about kyougoku ANYWAY#guh im donE complaining..goodnight.#bsd kyougoku#bsd gaiden#bungou stray dogs
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh
#Given some of it IS lines of code and stuff but like.. minus all that it's still probably at least 85 - 95k words hhhhhh#AND I have to do this for another 3 characters. Then a few partial quests for 3 others. THEN the other random misc stuff in the game#(like there are public areas in the city like a park and a forest that you can go and do a few things at. and chat with a few random#townsfolk that aren't actually full characters or anything. And there's a community board where you can#browse some of the random job advertisments or silly things that happen to be posted around#and also pick up a few odd jobs of your own to help earn coin to buy gifts for the npcs. etc. etc.)#Originally I was thinking like 'ah I'll make a short little game just to try it out! :3 It'll take maybe a few months!''#haha........................hee hee........................................hoho#Also evil that it would have been done already if I didn't totally drop itand stop working on it for like 5 years randomly#i could have made 5 years of steady slow progress gradually. instead of like 'one initial idea dump + about a month of art and writing'#...... 5 year break..... 'sudden mad dash to try to get probably 400.000 words written in a year or less' lol#I just really want to be done and have something out there already so it can lead to doing other things in my world..!!!!!! T o T#Like this can be an introduction and then maybe from that I can make other games. or short story anthologies. or other such things#But there needs to be some initially not very complex easy to interact with starting point first I guess... if that makes sense#That's part of why I stopped posting worldbuilding lore dump stuff as often because its' like.. massive walls of novella length#text are much more inacessible to engage with than like.. ooh a game! and there's characters! so its more approachable! and theres#visuals! oo! and the text is broken up in small bits line by line with other things in betwen! oo! etc. etc. lol#Not that THIS is even very accessible. I think dialogue heavy interactive fiction/visual novel type stuff is pretty niche and considered#boring or tedious compared to something with more ''gamplay'' like where you can actually move around in a world#and shoot things or whatever lol. But its an inbetween point. something SLIGHTLY#more accesible for now. Since i just dont have the budget or means or ability to make some skyrim type thing obviously LOL#Though maybe if theres any interest in the visual novel that could lead to making other things too. or at least I hope. I have a VERY cool#idea for a more ''gamey'' type of game that is a super fun concept and etc. but I would need to hire at least 2 people to make it.. ough..#I could do all the writing and probably half of the art. But I think I'd inevitably need a 3d artist and someone who can Code For Real hbjh#the system for ren'py (the thing I'm making a visual novel in) is not that complicated if you stick to just simple dialogue and stuff.#Making a whole moderately sized 3d game with minigames in it and a bunch of quest features and etc. would be out of my simplistic scope#''just learn it yourself!!' ... i barely manage to eat and sleep reliably every day lol... i do not function well enough to spend months#learning that many new skills. I already have a lot of of things I'm good at (not in a braggy way but just factually like.. i already have#a wide variety of different things under my belt).. at some point I have to just be happy with what i CAN already do and focus on that#and admit I need to get outside help sometimes ghjbh... NO more new skills/hobbies!!! ... ANYWAY
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okay lol mini rant in the tags sorry i just HAD to get this off my chest 😭 sorry if this is very incoherent and poorly worded or structured or whatever i'm just. pretty out of it and i cannot really think to write this properly. well, that or i am probably just illiterate actually. Yeah that's it lol
#why are friendships so complicated#in my last year of senior high school at an all girls school#i transferred last year#and it's just cliques left and right#they all hate each other#i'm the type of person who can vibe with all of them even if their personalities are very very different#i am kind of friends with everyone in the sense that i can find common ground and have interact comfortably and enjoyably#my friend group from grade 11 (theyve been friends w each other for so long and i was the newcomer) dissolved this year bc things went down#i dont know the full extent of what happened#but those five friends split and three have merged with another group#the group that isolate my other two friends and seem to not like them#at least the “leader” of the group anyway. Not so sure about the rest#and now i am stuck in the middle lol. I have other friends from other groups but they have their own groups#the three girls already have each other and the new group (it's kind of a mix of me excluding myself on purpose and them not including me#in things presumably bc i am still “close” with my other two friends they don't like#it is a weird dynamic because me and the other group the three other girls merged with can vibe with each other#we can laugh with each other and enjoy each others company when theyre not talking shit (they rarely do it in front of ppl so i havent rlly#seen the full extent of it)#and also my two other friends are obviously closer to each other than with me since theyve been friends for way longer#i remember i had a conversation with one of my friends from the three girls that split away#it was something like i have to tell the class this and that etc since im the president#and i am not a very assertive person i am also very scared of being disliked. I told her i didn't want the class to hate me and she said#“everybody likes you you are friends with everyone”#it really doesn't feel that way. why do i feel like secretly they are talking shit#again i dont even know why we split up#but now i am just. Stuck in the middle#the thing is ive never even heard my other three friends talk shit and do nasty stuff with the new group/the main clique of the class#i havent seen the bad side to anything that i hear whispers about because ive never seen it#i havent been subjected to it either#i feel like i am wrong about a lot of things but i am just. blind or too deep into my people pleasing tendencies to not realize shit
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Do you think Vi and Minnie were still dating when Minnie and Sophie got captured or do you think things were going awry and they broke up before the twins got captured?
they were definitely still dating i dont think we have any reason to believe they werent? like im p sure all evidence points to dating. but i definitely think their relationship was awry at that point, and they were just in a weird middle zone, at least on minnies side. minnie definitely had her frustrations if her words to vi in the woods are anything to go by, and i think violet also not having a response to it and instead just retreating says something about her/their relationship
i do think violet loved minnie and just wanted to make her happy (even if in doing so gave herself the "short end of the stick" in the relationship), and violet seeing minnie as the fish i think says a lot about how positively she viewed her (and i think her getting so flustered at clem saying shes the fish is because those are secretly traits she aspires to, but has yet to recognize in herself). i think minnies behavior towards a kidnapped violet shows us she still cares about her too even if things werent perfect. so if minnie had never been kidnapped, i dont think they wouldve ever actually split up, even if the relationship was turbulent.
what Really causes them to split is the change in the person minnie has become. violet (grief stricken and blaming herself), does not recognize this person, and doesnt like who she sees. someone who would rather hurt the people they supposedly care about to save themselves. unfortunately a kidnapped violet learns this lesson too late
#anyway i dont think vi could have ever reached her full potential if she had stayed in a relationship with minnie#i dont think either of them were getting true fulfillment out of that relationship. for whatever reasons#but also they were best friends and cared about each other enough to Not split up before minnie “died”#ITS COMPLICATED but thats what makes it compelling!!#regardless vi DOES fall in love with clem. which makes it even More compelling. and messy 😏 i love mess#UGH theres too much to talk about when it comes to the relationships between these 3 and i think ive already done it before anyway#its unfortunate we have to guess so much about their relationship pre S4. but i think we know enough. its not that important anyway#whats important is that vi Needs to move on. and watching her character struggle with that (while also falling in love again) is compelling#(and why her shooting minnie to save clem is so satisfying (and shocking))(and why it hurts so much to break kidnapped violets heart 😭)#violet my beloved theyll never make me hate you#twdg#vinerva#replies with lexi#incognito
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