#Anya raccoon

[live-at-fortune-city]

the tulpar crew (non-playable edition)

(sequel image to this if you haven't seen it/wonder where jumbo josh and curly are)

[cosmostickers]

by Anya

[drawloverlala]

Commission for  @ItzWizlol , 

Anya the rabbit belongs to Wiz and Kimmy the panda and Aura the hedgehog belong to @pukopop   And here are all hanging out with their friends in the playground!

[panda-of-the-trash]

Everything sucks rn

Ima fuckin die if this continues

Nuh uh, you´re not allowed to die

[thirdlotusprince3]

*Adult Anya and Damian*

Damian: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Anya, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

[eatin-bread-n-cryin]

Introduzione

Hello queers and freaks, I've seen a lot of profiles do introductions and I wanna sooo:

(PD: plz be my moot if you share interests :3)

My name is Ro

Pronouns: She/Her I/Me/Myself (/ref)

Mexican

Pansexual

INTP, Aries

Spanish and English, learning Italian :0

I have a dog :3

No religion, just gay

A Tism™

Interests and fandoms

I play the kalimba :D

AO3

Writing

Indie music

MARINA, Will Wood, Anya Nami, VOCALOID (clearly)

Art, drawing

Musicals (Heathers and Beetlejuice 🔛🔝)

Alien Stage

Batman/Batfamily

Spiderman and Deadpool

Video games (Class of '09, Stardew Valley, Danganronpa, Mouthwashing, Undertale, dead plate, DDLC, etc)

YouTube :p

Yap and whine

Greek mythology (Icarus my beloved)

🫶 Cats, raccoons, crows and owls 🫶

I've been a Wattpad crackfic writer, a tktok brain rot user, a FNAF kid, a Roblox kid, a Minecraft, a gacha kid, edgy, YouTube animatics fan and more, I'm not saying which ones I atill am (auto imposed wall of shame)

A lot of shows idk TADC n shit

Molto furri

DNI:

Unironic Bigotry

Unironic weirdos and creeps obvi

NSFW

/J People who disagree with my objectively correct opinion /J

[tygerbug]

For better or worse, the 2023 Super Mario Bros movie very accurately translates the Nintendo video games to the big screen, offering fun and references but few surprises.

Some have defended the quirky 1993 Super Mario Bros movie by saying that the original games aren't cinematic, and aren't possible to adapt into a film. "What, do you want a movie where Mario jumps on some blocks in a raccoon suit and says Wahoo, it's-a-me, Mario?" Well, this is a movie where Mario jumps on some blocks in a raccoon suit and says "Wahoo, it's-a-me, Mario."

Will Mario, Luigi, Toad and Princess Peach be able to save the Mushroom Kingdom from Bowser, king of the Koopas? Will Mario eat some mushrooms, kick some shells, and jump on some blocks? Will fire flowers and invincibility stars provide a temporary boost in power? Will Mario drive a go-kart down a rainbow road? Will Donkey Kong throw some barrels? Is water wet? Does two plus two equal four?

It's been forty years since the Nintendo Family Computer (Famicom) hit shelves in Japan, and thirty years since the 1993 movie, made by an older generation that didn't understand the appeal of Nintendo's video games. This time round, everyone involved understands the assignment and plays it safe. I'm glad we're at that point where everyone is on the same page, even if no risks are taken with the material. There are similarities to the 1993 film but mostly it feels like you're watching one of Mario's recent video games, but as a movie. Which raises the question of what this film has to offer that a game doesn't.

For one thing, there's the character relationships. Mario doesn't have much to say in the games, but here is serviceably if blandly played by Chris Pratt, who somehow hasn't been fully cancelled yet. (See also: Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong.) We somehow get a fair amount of bonding between Mario and Seth Rogen's amusing Donkey Kong. Incidentally the events of Donkey Kong (1981) are fictional in this movie, but the events of Wrecking Crew (1984) are not.

The standout is Jack Black, giving a very Jack Black performance as the lovestruck villain Bowser, king of the Koopas. He mostly interacts with Kevin Michael Richardson, spot-on as Kamek the Magikoopa. Keegan-Michael Key plays an adventure-seeking Toad, whose part in the adventure feels underdeveloped. Charlie Day doesn't get enough to do as Luigi, mostly just looking scared in true Luigi fashion, but does well enough with what he has.

Anya Taylor-Joy plays the sweet and fiercely determined Princess Peach, who is very much a playable character here, as an overcorrection for her passive nature in most of the games. The result has Lego Movie syndrome, where it's not clear why this hyper-capable, overqualified character gets to do nothing, compared to a man with zero experience or skills. The Lego Movie also starred Chris Pratt, and both come uncomfortably close to the bigot's dream that "the best of them is lower than the worst of us." This is, at least, in line with the games, where Luigi and sometimes Peach and Toad are just as playable as Mario is, but are also not your first choice of character. But there's no reason given in the film to choose Mario over Peach, and even Peach's interest in keeping Mario around is somehow less romantic than the quick kiss he'd get at the end of a game. The film does often find things for Peach to do, including fighting Bowser herself. It also puts her in the passive role of watching Mario do something, while portraying her as overpowered compared to him, which almost feels sarcastic.

The predictable plot is not unlike the 1993 movie and 1989's The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, whose theme song is used here. Actually a lot of theme songs are used here, with the score constantly referencing themes from the games, almost at random. (In a real dick movie, Grant Kirkhope is not credited for writing the Donkey Kong Rap, with a blank space credited instead.) As in the 1993 film, the Brooklyn plumbers Luigi and Mario Mario journey into the sewers and are warped via pipe into another world, the Mushroom Kingdom, and menaced by the evil King Koopa. I'm pretty sure this has never been the actual storyline according to Nintendo of Japan (who sometimes claim that Mario is from the Mushroom Kingdom himself), but it's a key factor in American adaptations.

Otherwise this is stuff you've probably seen before in over forty years worth of video games. The attention to detail is laudable, but it's also just protecting Nintendo's corporate branding at a time when they've been doing this for over four decades, and are now expanding into theme parks. It would be an idiot move, at this point, to deliver anything that's unlike the video games. This movie would have felt like a miracle in the 80s or 90s, when anti-Japanese paranoia was still rampant among the older generations, and video games were written off as rotting kids' brains.

But coming at this with a Millennial and Gen X attitude, we know exactly who Mario is, and what he does. This is a Mario movie where you expect the expected. Of course it could have been a lot worse. The film feels a little too simple, but doesn't do anything actively wrong or bad. They had a chance here to lend a little more depth to Mario, who is barely a character, and that chance is not taken. The film zips by without much time for character development. Kids may find poetry in that, and be able to fill in the blanks, as if hours passed in these scenes rather than seconds. Adults will simply get what they paid for - a movie that feels like the Super Mario Bros video games. In particular, the New Super Mario Bros series, which upgraded the adventure to new hardware while staying very close to the old 80s formula.

Here's another metaphor for you. The Mario game series got more experimental with Super Mario RPG and the first Paper Mario, as well as the Mario & Luigi (Superstar Saga) RPG games. These introduced many unusual new characters, but the Paper Mario sequels have been progressively less experimental, presenting us instead with a lot of similar Toads and Koopas. That's also what we get in this movie - a sea of Koopas and Toads. Series creator Shigeru Miyamoto, credited as producer here, prefers it that way.

The scenes set in Brooklyn are a little stranger, filled with easter eggs and characters we don't learn much about. It's too cartoony to pass for the "real world," and is full of stuff Illumination are making up for this movie, rather than taking from the games.

I was surprised, somehow, that some animated version of Dennis Hopper's Koopa didn't show up. I think that might have been an improvement.

Not long ago, I edited an extended version of the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie, intended for an official Blu-Ray release which never happened. That film had a famously troubled production, and has some real problems with a mismatch in tone. The directors had created the cyberpunk TV series "Max Headroom" and wanted this to be a similar cyberpunk dystopia for older teenagers, while the studio heads at Disney were dismissing Mario as something for very young children. The shooting was a messy and unhappy affair, and something was lost in the edit. Meanwhile no one involved seemed to know or care very much about the actual property, which seemed impossible to translate into live action anyway. It's fanciful and cartoony, and the things Mario does in the games are things he does because it's a video game. There's no reason for him, in a movie, to be jumping on blocks and saying "Wahoo!"

The 1993 Super Mario Bros movie is very weird. The 2023 Super Mario Bros movie is a cartoon where Mario jumps on some blocks and says "Wahoo!" The latter is, obviously, much more accurate to the game. In a weird way, I think both approaches were valid. Older people actually know who Super Mario is now, so this is the movie we get. It's a kids movie, for those kids who've been playing Mario games for the past forty plus years. It's no better or worse than that. There's no false advertising here - it is exactly what it claims to be.

I can't imagine that anyone will be thrilled by a post-credits sequence teasing Yoshi, whose species already appears in the film. That's about the least surprising reveal possible, in a movie that's already devoid of surprises. A set of toys for this movie came out at McDonald's, and this is really the McDonald's hamburger of movies. Something for kids that adults can just about choke down. Well, I've got all those McDonald's toys on my desk, and if they keep making movies like this I'll probably keep watching them. I'll watch a movie with Yoshi in it, or Rosalina or Wario or whoever they add for a sequel. I just won't pretend like it's something I haven't seen before.

Rating: Fresh / Recommended

(Seen in theaters)

[dysco-lymonade]

What about a silly 3 men and a baby type fic except it's just Clexa somehow getting an infant forced on them out of the blue and then falling in love while figuring out how to care for the kid. Or maybe you could do one where one gets a letter not meant for her and it's from the other. The rest is up to you😂

I will be affectionately referring to this AU as 2Girls1Baby until I think of, or am recommended a new title.

This is a work in progress, but I wanted to give you a little snippet, Anon, because this AU is living in my head rent-free now.

A little back story. Raven and Anya have an 18 month old baby, and they have to go out of town. Their last resort for childcare is leaving their daughter, Tris, with Clarke and Lexa.

Clarke and Lexa have been roommates for a while now, really only knowing each other through Anya and Raven. Anya is Lexa's sister; Raven is Clarke's best friend. They live together, but don't really associate aside from that.

“So what now?” Clarke looks at Lexa, perplexed.

“Well, I guess we'll just keep her alive until Monday. That won’t be too hard… Right?” Lexa searches for comfort in Clarke’s gaze, receiving nothing of the sort.

“Anya is your sister! This is your problem.” Clarke gestures toward the 18 month old in the car seat currently chilling on their living room floor, kicking her feet at a dangling raccoon that is attached to the handle of her carrier.

“Raven is your best friend!” Lexa scolds in a hushed voice, not wanting to disturb the currently occupied toddler.

“Blood is thicker than water, right?” Clarke scoffs and walks away, to close herself up in her bedroom as per usual.

With a heavy sigh, Lexa cautiously approaches the toddler. “Hey, Tris.” She mumbles, “I’m your Aunt Lexa, we’re going to be great friends.” Suddenly, Tris realizes that neither of her mothers are within sight.

A wail that Lexa is surprised didn’t shatter their windows, falls from Tris’s mouth.

“Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, no. Shh- Shh, it's okay sweetheart. You’re okay. Aunt Lexa’s got you. We’re going to have so much fun…” Lexa searches around the living room, desperate to find something to occupy this kid’s attention. Anya had warned her that they were trying to limit her time with electronics, so she wouldn’t become reliant on them. The TV was out of the question.

Lexa whips her phone out of her pocket, scrolls through Spotify, and comes across a Disney playlist. She turns it on, and connects the phone to the bluetooth speaker in the living room.

“HAKUNA MATATA WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE” comes out entirely too loud, and only makes Tris cry harder.

“Shit, shit, shi- shoot, shoot, crap, dang it.” Lexa silences her phone. “Okay, maybe a bit more preparation for that, eh? Okay, so, find the speaker… where is it? Oh, there it is!” She locates the bluetooth speaker next to the television. “Now to turn the volume down, huh? That was wayyyy too loud. Aunt Clarke must have been in the zone the last time she was painting.” Lexa continues to ramble to herself, not realizing until she pulls her phone back out that Tris has stopped her wailing.

“Oh. You’re a conversationalist, are you?” She asks with a cheeky grin towards the 18 month old. She puts on the Disney playlist, on a low volume for background noise.

“Did your Mamas tell you the shi- crap I’ve been going through at work?” She waits a beat, Tris looks at her with big, bloodshot eyes, from her crying fit. 

“No? Okay, so let me just tell you. My boss,” she clears her throat and takes on a comedic Renaissance accent, “Executive Chef, Charles Pike, total idiot,” Lexa then resumes her regular speaking voice, “decided today that he was going to have a five course meal planned for the Water’s wedding tomorrow.” She scoffs.

Tris just babbles along while kicking her raccoon and eyeing Lexa suspiciously. 

“Exactly, that’s what I said. And then Pike has the gall to walk over to me and ask me to get it done by the end of the day, like I don’t already have 42 things on my plate. Because this man has made weaponized incompetence into a fuc-freaking art form.”

“Truck truck truck?” Tris all but screams at Lexa.

“You’re totally right, I should’ve told him to walk in front of a truck.”

"Truck, truck, TRUUUCK” Tris starts to wail.

“Truck? Where is the truck?” Lexa starts to rummage through her diaper bag. “Oh god, WHERE IS THE TRUCK?!”

In her panic, Lexa doesn’t realize that Clarke had emerged from her bedroom, and is currently walking towards Tris with a small yellow Tonka truck in her hands.

“Is this what you want, baby girl?” Clarke coos.

Lexa’s head snaps to attention and finds Clarke currently knelt next to her niece, shaking the truck slowly in front of her face. Tris has stopped crying, and currently has her full attention on Clarke’s hands.

“Clarke?” 

“Don’t mention it, I was just tired of hearing you talk about work.” Her roommate quips back, and then starts making vrooming truck noises to occupy the toddler.

“You don’t have to do this, Clarke. I am more than capable of-”

She’s cut off by Clarke, “Babysitting should be about more than just surviving, don’t we deserve better than that?”

Lexa gapes at her, unsure how to respond. 

“I might be a hypocrite, Lexa. But you’re a liar. You have no idea what you’re doing taking care of a baby.” Clarke jests with a raised eyebrow.

“I didn’t lie to everyone, not you.” She mumbles quietly.

“Well, if you care about me, and Tris, you’ll go make a bottle for her. I think she’s hungry.” Clarke retorts, a bit softer than she had been previously.

[littlefreya]

WIP game

Rules: In a new post, post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

@raccoon-eyed-rebel the lovely tagged me and so I must comply! I hope I am not getting my self into trouble with this. :) I have been working on multiple stuff while being busy and such but here we go. Willing to give some teasers :X

To Love a Monster

WG (evil secret project)

The Wretched

Destoyer of Angels pt2

Blackbeard (Neptune Snare 2)

Wolfmoon

Frenemies

God damn it, Anya! (referring to @the-soot-sprite)

Walter

The Wolf

Pirate!Sy (I guess)

Artie Walker - the saga

Tagging: @captainsy-cookiemonster @wolvesandhoundshowltogether @luna-aestas @viking-raider @sapphirescrolls @targaryenvampireslayer @navybrat817 @nuggsmum @thelastsock

Anyone else is welcome to do this :)

[calicohyde]

Commissions/Services Info (2023)

Writing

My specialty is NSFW short stories, but I’m willing to give most anything a go. I will not write incest, vore, scat, A/B/O, cis-swapping, or explicit sexual content involving people under sixteen years old. Expected turnaround will be quoted by case.

Fanfiction: $10 per 1,000 words, flat. $10 minimum. Will write up to 10,000 words. I will not add any additional charges if I happen to overwrite.

Samples: On my AO3

Original: $0.01 to $0.03 per word depending on difficulty of concept, at author’s discretion. $10 minimum. Will write up to 20,000 words. I will not add any additional charges if I happen to overwrite.

Samples: In my fic tag (free, partial) | Or on Gumroad (for sale, full)

Reading

I will read (or listen to, or watch, etc) just about any genre. I will not read (etc) anything containing incest, vore, scat, A/B/O, explicit sexual content involving people under sixteen years old, or anything about the Holocaust. I’m unlikely to read things containing medical abuse or abuse by a maternal figure. Expected turnaround will be quoted by case.

Sensitivity: Will sensitivity read for trans masculine, Jewish, and/or bisexual characters/topics. $20 per 1,000 words, flat. $20 minimum. Will read up to 75,000 words. Feedback will include sources when relevant.

Proofreading: $5 per 1,000 words, flat. $5 minimum. Manuscript must be available through Google Docs.

Paid Review: $6 per 1,000 words or 1hr of content for a liveblog (a play-by-play on my blog or TikTok). $12 per 1,000 words or 1hr of content for a written review. Need not be your own original material!

Samples: Avengers: Infinity War | Stake Sauce

Art

My specialty for artwork is portraiture, but I’m willing to give anything a try. I will not draw incest, vore, scat, any sexual content involving people under eighteen years old, or animal mistreatment.

Marker & Pencil drawing: $10 to $50 based on size/number of subjects. Shipping Included.

Samples: Ed Teach/Taika Waititi | Self Portrait with Cats | Raccoon Tarot

Charcoal drawing: $30 to $100 based on size/number of subjects. Shipping included.

Samples: Anya Taylor Joy as The Devil | Min Yoongi | Jack Dylan Grazer

Oil painting: $50 to $200 based on size/number of subjects. Shipping included.

Samples: Castiel | Eddie Alfaro | Ryan Bergara

Send an ask off anon to discuss your desired project!

[derelictheretic]

This is the self insert/OC fairy. 🌼🧚‍♀️When you get this in your ask box, please tell us 3 facts about your S/I or OC and pass it around. Let's learn about each other's S/Is/OCs! 🤍

Thank you for this, I am losing it over the raccoon look at that lil dude omg,,,, <3 Anya time bc I miss her also,,,

Anya actually has terrible vision due to her albinsism but refuses to wear glasses because people talked to her more when she wore them (introverted queen was not having it)

Anya loves romance literature but would not be caught dead reading any in public, if you saw her reading pride and prejudice no you didn't :)

Her cats Lev and Sasha are named after her little brothers and she found them both in a box in an alley on her first day in America.

[asknarashikari]

What are the nicknames Anya Forger will give the King-ohgers and GotchardCast?

She'll only give nicknames to the girls and Keiwa and Gira because everyone else freaks her out

Himeno is "Princess"

Rita is "Cool person-san"

Gira is "Tyrant-weirdo-nii-chan"

Neon is "Neon-nee-chan"

Tsumuri is "the black and white nee-chan"

Keiwa is "Uncle Raccoon" (because racoon dogs aren't indigenous to where Anya lives which seems to be a parody of Europe)

Everyone else just gets the -_- face from her

[mosylufanfic]

Confession time: Anya Taylor-Joy’s face freaks me out and I’m not a fan of Harriet or Knightley’s actors either. So while i would love to watch the 2020 Emma, I just can’t. Love me some Romola Garai, though, and also Emma Approved.

She . . . does kind of look like a cross between a feral raccoon and an anime girl. But for me and for this character it works, although if it doesn't for you that's fair.

Of course I also like the Romola Garai version (with Jonny Lee Miller!) and Emma Approved and I even like the one with Gwyneth Paltrow (who is a reasonably decent actor who should be immediately deplatformed the moment she says words that someone else didn't write for her). I don't recall if I ever saw the Kate Winslet one which is a bad sign probably.

[panda-of-the-trash]

I totally didn't tell Tundra Italic's kinks

WAIT WHy DO YOU KNOW HIS KINKS

SHOULDN´T ONLY TUNNY KNOW THEM

ITA GET OVER HERE

[outdatedcakes]

put in anya (my irl name) :p umm tagz..... @kenopsian-raccoon @dr-fizzovich @royalstarstorm @arceusbelovedchild @ch0cocrave

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑙𝑒: 𝑔𝑜 𝑡𝑜 𝑝𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑡, 𝑠𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑐ℎ "𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑛𝑎𝑚𝑒 + 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑒," 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑖𝑥 𝑝𝑖𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒𝑠. 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡𝑎𝑔 𝑠𝑖𝑥 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒.

Athena-core was fun to search 😍

I tag @newbornwhumperfly @grizzlie70 @butwhatifyouwrite @sapphoslibrary @wildfaewhump @deluxewhump

[eek-a-tron]

My favorite platonic ships, where the characters function as found family/friends:

Batman & Lois Lane

Catwoman: & Rocket Raccoon (serial stray-adopter & angry gearhead space-bandit, occasionally heisting while arguing about weaponry choices), & Bucky Barnes*

Loki: & Verity (canon), & Nebula, & Elsa**

Rogue & Storm (canon)

Rey & Rose (kill the canon if you have to)

Spike & Anya

*Q: Isn’t this just a reskinned WinterWidow? A: No, WinterCat Motorcycle Club (my phrasing, pff) is a platonic ship where a redemption-questing Bucky hangs around Gotham, angsts it up with Jason/Red Hood, & befriends Selina over motorcycles. *breaks out the pepe silvia meme* Ed Brubaker wrote for/revision-ized them both!

**To this day I associate Frozen with babysitting, so this concept is like an instant baww-level memory for me. The kids were so sure those sad ice wizards would help each other out! The wholesome power their platonic Elski AU had!