#And you tell me you’ll kill me for needing something I don’t hardly never get

[coloradosnumber1dad]

Screaming crying throwing up thinking about Brokeback Mountain right now

[loganhowlettshousewife]

animal

chapter 4

friendly reminder that i am not a writer, i'm just a girl who loves logan howlett and wanted to write something exploring his animalistic side since i so rarely see it done. my first language is also not english, so please do not be rude when giving me any feedback.

warnings: swearing, drinking/alcohol, mentions of sex, mentions of blood, violence, killing, angst, i hate the pacing of this but i rewrote it like three times and then gave up

series masterlist │my masterlist

after sharing your first kiss, logan becomes much more clingy. he’s attached to you at nearly all times. if you’d thought he was affectionate before, you had no idea what you were getting into. his favourite thing is to press his face into your neck, licking and biting the skin there, but it’s not just your neck. you’ve become a chew toy for a 400 pound man.

he’s never too harsh with it, always gentle with you. he knows you’re not as strong as him. it’s affectionate nibbling, like dogs biting their owners, and you love it because it’s such a clear sign of logan’s happiness.

it reminds you of the early days with logan, where he couldn’t stand to be in a different room as you, though now it’s no longer out of fear but out of a deep desire for closeness and companionship.

and things are good for a while, like that. you enjoy the ease of your unlabeled relationship. he’s yours and you’re his, in every capacity. there’s no need to put an arbitrary, man-made label on your relationship when most of it is quiet, unspoken. you’ve never really had a conversation about what you are, but it’s obvious.

you had thought yourself happy before meeting logan, at peace with the life you’d made for yourself, self-sufficient and doing all the things you loved. you weren’t slaving away at a corporate job, making hardly enough money to support your hobbies, leaving you with hardly any time to enjoy them anyway. it was good.

this is a different kind of happiness, one you’d thought was only real in fairytales. you feel as though he has some sort of six-sense telling him how you’re feeling, when you’re tense or unhappy. he makes you feel like a princess.

but all good things must come to an end. 

he starts to have more nightmares, takes to sleeping in the guest room because he doesn’t want to keep you awake all night with him. more often than not you’ll hear him shouting in his sleep, deep grunts of pain that have you rising from your bed and joining him, hoping your presence will soothe him.

and you like to think that it does. you never get too close to him when he’s tossing and turning restlessly, claws out, metal gleaming in the low moonlight streaming from the gap in the curtains, but you know that logan’s senses are enhanced, heightened, and so you hope that he can feel your presence even while stuck in a nightmare, that you can drag him out of it. eventually he always either settles or wakes up, though both are better alternatives than watching him struggle against an invisible enemy.

you’ve had a few more close calls, where his claws get a little too close, where you let your guard down and lean closer towards him even though you know better, because your heart aches for him.

he becomes more human by the day. he doesn’t tell you when his memories start to come back to him, but you can tell.

you can tell when you get home to find him on the couch with a bottle of whiskey that he must have gotten from the cellar, the one you’d never shown him how to find. it belonged to your grandfather, so you’d gotten it along with the house, but you don’t drink very often and so you haven’t made much use of it.

he takes large swigs of the half-empty bottle, the smell of whiskey on his breath and the taste of booze on his tongue when you go to kiss him. 

you can tell when he becomes less expressive with you, no longer sharing his emotions on his face or with his behaviour as easily as before. he doesn’t bound up to you and sniff you to check where you’ve been, to check if anyone’s gotten too close, their scent clinging onto your clothes. he doesn’t growl when he’s upset or annoyed, just grits his teeth and clenches his jaw tight.

you can tell by the way he holds back his little noises when you pull his head into your lap, scratching at his scalp and tugging on the longer tufts of his hair that you’d jokingly started to refer to as kitty ears. you miss the soft purring, the knowledge that logan was happy and comfortable with you.

sometimes you’ll plan out conversations in your head, acting out how you’ll talk to him and the words you’ll use and how he might reply. but when you try to ask him if he’s alright, placing a hand on his trembling one, sitting down in his lap so he can’t escape, he always shrugs it off. he tells you you’re sweet for worrying about him and kisses you until you no longer remember what you wanted to say.

there’s something happening in his mind that he’s not telling you about, but you chalk up all his odd behaviours to him needing time to deal with remembering his old life.

if his constant nightmares tell you anything, it’s that the memories returning to him aren’t positive ones. there’s a pain in him that wasn’t there before, a darkness that lingers behind his eyes, haunted by things he’s seen. you can’t imagine anyone would deal very well with the onslaught of traumas returning with a vengeance.

he doesn’t stop kissing you, doesn’t stop hugging you from behind, doesn’t stop surprising you by sneaking up behind you and picking you up out of nowhere, making you shriek and giggle. so you tell yourself you’re being dramatic, it’ll resolve itself in time.

it doesn’t.

he goes out to run through the forest, to hunt as the natural predator he was always meant to be, but when he comes back he won’t speak to you. he shrugs you off, locking the door to the bathroom so you can’t meet him in there.

it’s a small thing, but it’s a crack in the routines you and logan have been building together, the wordless nature of your relationship crumbling around you because all of a sudden it no longer feels like the two of you are on the same wavelength.

you cry silently on the couch, head in your hands, feeling like your world is collapsing. the perfect bubble that had settled around you and logan had popped, and now reality was coming in to destroy the fantasy you’d grown accustomed to. you should have seen it coming - in fact, you had, with every night he spent in a bottle instead of on your lips, but you’d chosen to ignore it.

he doesn’t seem to be as in-tune with your emotions anymore, and you wonder if it’s because he simply doesn’t care enough to try.

the through wrenches you in two.

you had given logan your heart, placed it in his rough, calloused hands and asked him to hold it for you. and now you could feel that very same hand, once so gentle and careful, squeezing tighter and tighter, a physical ache.

you need time away from him, away from the house where every corner has memories attached. so you journey into town.

you’re out for a while, walking aimlessly. the streets grow dark, the sun setting in hues of orange and pink behind the horizon, streetlamps turning on to replace the sunlight, though their dim glow is hardly an effective replacement. and still, you don’t return home, not quite ready to face logan.

it’s as you’re preparing to head back, muttering reassuring words to yourself under your breath, that someone grabs you from behind, a hand against your mouth so you can’t scream. you’re shoved into an alley, thin and dingy between two shops that have already closed for the night, their employees gone home to rest, no one around to hear your struggles.

you scream, though the sound is muffled, and cry and kick at your assailant, but he won’t let go. he’s stronger than you.

you think about logan, who doesn’t know where you are, who probably walked out of the bathroom with only a towel around his waist, stray droplets of water tracing down the grooves of his abs. you think about how on any other day you would have kissed down his chest to catch the water on your lips, not yet venturing below his waist, though you’ve done other things.

you hope you don’t die tonight. there’s still so much you haven’t done, so much you haven’t said.

and then the body holding yours is gone and you fall to the ground, knees scraping the pavement on your way down. you cry and cry, fear and anger and relief all washing together into a mess you can’t name. you barely notice the sounds of your assailant begging for mercy, or the low growl from your saviour. but you can smell the blood in the air, the tang of iron.

“what the fuck were you thinking?” strong arms lift you up and instinctively you squirm to try to get away, until a hand grabs your chin and forces your gaze upwards. logan’s furious glare stares back at you, his eyes narrowed and jaw tense.

“i- i’m sorry,” you whisper, barely able to get the words out, and you collapse against him. because even if he’s covered in blood and his claws are still out and he’s just murdered a man, even if he’s clearly angry and dangerous, you’ve never felt safer.

he’s quiet the whole way home. he doesn’t speak to you as he carries you inside the house, refusing to let you walk on your own, doesn’t speak to you as he cleans the cuts on your knees, doesn’t speak to you as he settles you down on the couch with a soft blanket fresh out of the dryer, doesn’t speak to you as he makes your tea the exact way you like it.

and then, “wanna tell me what you were doing out there? you know it’s unsafe for a pretty girl like you after dark, you don’t need me telling you that.”

“i just needed some air,” you argue, though there’s not much heat behind the words, staring down at your steaming mug of tea, watching the unmoving liquid as if it’s the most interesting thing you’ve ever seen. logan scoffs, and you can see him in your peripheral vision, looking so unlike the man you thought you knew.

“there’s plenty of air here, we’re in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

“you know what i mean,” you sigh, and he stares at you with his hands on his hips until you roll your eyes and continue, “i needed to be away from you! is that what you want to hear? you’re different lately and it scares me because everything was so great for some time and now you’re…”

“different?” he laughs sharply, “yeah, i’ve got my memories back. i remember every awful fucking thing that’s ever happened to me, every time i’ve been tortured. you know how many times i’ve been tortured? you think i’d act the same after that?”

“it’s not that,” you argue, placing your mug down on the coffee table, “we don’t sleep in the same bed anymore! you refuse to let me see you when you come home after hunting! you don’t cuddle up to me like you did before! you used to kiss my neck all the time and now you don’t! you’re just… pulling away. and i know i’m being selfish, fuck do i know it. but every time i’ve tried to have a conversation with you about this you shut it down so what was i supposed to do, logan?”

“you wanna have a conversation?” he shouts, “fine, talk.”

your breath is coming out in ragged pants. there’s a fire in your veins, a fury you haven’t felt in a very long time, it’s intensity paralysing you. you watch logan’s face, the way he stands before you, his imposing figure stretched above yours.

and there’s nothing you can say. the words you’ve been preparing every night before bed for days and days flutter away in a breeze. all you can do is watch his chest rising and falling.

“i wish you would talk to me,” is the only thing you manage to choke out.

“you’re not getting that version of me back,” he says, voice finally softening into something resembling his usual gruff but not unkind tone, “i remember who i am now. so you gotta let go of this shit, or you gotta let go of me.”

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if your name is in white it means i couldn’t tag you for some reason. i’m very sorry :(

[lucky-draws]

(transcript + some notes/explanation under the cut:)

i feel like the context of this is maybe only apparent in my own head LOL so basically ive kind of imagined an au where, based on the rebirth ending, james has succeeded in bringing mary back to life, but also maria, and also james gets killed in the process. so it's basically just maria and mary alone in the townTM trying to figure each other out. and this is a letter maria sends mary at some point basically. transcript in case the font is annoying to read:

Mary, You’ll have to forgive me if any of this sounds a little weird. I haven’t written anybody a letter in years, and I’m not sure if I have much of a way with words. Though I’ve been spending a lot of time in Ernest’s library lately, so hopefully some of his great literature has rubbed off on me. Somehow, I had this idea that I never liked reading much - that it wasn’t really my style - but I ended up getting kind of hooked. His dusty old books sure aren’t the worst company in this town, at any rate. I wonder what we really are, you and I. I used to think of us as two music box dolls: dancing side by side, spinning in perfect unison to somebody else’s tune. Like a pair of clocks keeping the same time. Two parallel lines, and an impossibility for us to ever intersect, to face each other head-on without some kind of disaster.

We’re not completely identical, though. If you looked closely at me - if you could bear to do that - you’d see all my imperfections. I lack your fine details. The paint on my lips is messier, my joins are showing, and there are bits of sprew left between my fingers. Pick me up, and you’ll feel how much lighter I am - I’m missing a lot of internal parts, you see. I’m a knock-off - we were cast from different molds. You were born of nature, while I was born from your very own killer. But I suppose I don’t need to tell you that. Do you hate me? I understand if you do. Or maybe I’m not so important - maybe you can only think of him. Or perhaps you’re trying not to think of anything at all when you sit by that lake for hours on end. I don’t know how you can stand it - going to the lake every day. It's so quiet. No ducks, not even a single bird. I’d go crazy, I think. That’s why I like to stay at the bar: there’s no one here either, of course, but it feels easier to imagine there might be. To pretend that we’ve only just closed, that those drinks on the table belonged to the last customers, and not to me. I’ve been so restless lately, sitting in the bar all night. I wonder if - no, I guess I’m hoping that - something’s going to give, soon. I think I’m losing the beat  - I’m spinning slower than you are. I think it’s because I keep getting distracted, always thinking of you. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps it’s simply because you’re the only thing in this dreadful town that’s not a monster. But I think you must be as lonely as I am. Much more so, probably. And I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if you’d only reach through the mirror and touch me. I’m full of missing pieces, I know - but I have this notion that between us, we might just be able to come together into something like a real person. You know, some days I feel I hardly know who I am; but other times I feel so sure that I’m beginning to dance to my own beat. It’s no fun dancing alone, though. Well, I guess you know where to find me. I’ll be waiting at the bar tonight. I always am. I’ve waited there every night - for something, someone, anything, anyone - for what feels like forever. But these days, I’m just waiting for you. See you around, Maria

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Imagine Ji teaching kitten how to make a proper nest

this has been sitting in my ask box for a while.... and i'm glad i held onto it because..... me??? writing for a pair that isn't chris x his girl???? unheard of. but not impossible.

Pairing: Werewolf!Minho x Human!F.Reader (one of the main pairings of my WereRoomies series, but you probably don’t really need to read any other instalments to understand/enjoy this one). | Word Count: ~2k | Themes & Warnings: Supernatural/Fantasy AU · Smut · Fluff · Established Relationship · unprotected penetration [piv. no barrier method, but reader is presumed to be on birth control] · breeding kink · creampie

minors do not interact.

For someone with a condition like his, Minho was a very logical man. Sure, he had his moments of randomness and silliness, but in the grand scheme of things, your boyfriend was level headed, rational, and he’d hardly ever let his wolf instincts interfere with his human thoughts.

Which was why you hadn’t expected something as seemingly innocuous as a pile of clothes on his bed to get him like this.

Not like you were going to complain, though. Not when the feel of his thickness filling you up time and time again was this good. Not when the way he had you on your knees, bent over like a dog, deliciously ramming into you, was this addictive.

“Minho…” You weren’t really sure what you were going to tell him, you just whined when you started to feel his lips on your shoulder, when he started to kiss and nibble your skin.

“Hm?” His deep strokes had you seeing stars, and the feel of him hitting the most sensitive areas within your walls was steadily fogging up your brain.

You swallowed, blindly reaching for one of the cushions that surrounded you, holding it tightly to somehow keep yourself grounded to reality. “Love–Love you”.

“Love you, too… Missed you, kitten. So much”, his pace increased, his panting grew a bit louder next to your ear, sending shivers down your spine, feeding that pool of arousal in your belly that was just ready to spill over at any moment now.

You’d missed him, too, of course. Every week, you looked forward to the weekend simply because you’ll be able to see him. You were tired of the distance, but you supposed it was something you’d had to bear for a while.

“Need to–Shit, fuck…” Minho nuzzled your shoulder, reattaching his lips to the skin there, grunting when you started to push back harder to match his thrusts, making him move faster in response.

Before Minho came back from work, when Jisung had come to Minho’s flat to hang out and kill time after you arrived today, you didn’t exactly expect the afternoon to take the turn it did.

‘Wait, so you’re not making a nest to fuck in? Not even during his rut?!’ Jisung looked genuinely shocked, and you had simply shrugged in response because ‘Was I supposed to? I don’t even know how’.

Admittedly, you did know about nests, but only as a concept. Throughout your friendship, Jisung had made sure to give you every single detail when it came to omega reproduction–because why would you keep anything private when you could word vomit at any given time, about any given topic, right?–and just omega behaviours in general.

Making a nest was, essentially, creating a safe, soft, warm space for yourself. Although it could be done just to be comfortable while trying to wind down, it was most commonly done with reproduction in mind, meaning, to be shared between wolves. So, upon finding out you’d never done one yourself, Jisung decided to take matters into his own hands.

‘See, you’ve got to pick up items that make you feel safe. Soft items, preferably. Most commonly you’d use blankets, throws, cushions, but you could also add plushies, clothes… If you’ve got a partner, it’s usually preferable to use items that smell like them. And it’s always a nice touch to add items that smell like you, so your partner can also feel comforted by your nest’, Jisung encouraged you to try it, right then and there.

He suggested doing it on Minho’s bed, since that was his sleeping space, and a place you both spent a lot of time together in. Minho’s sleeping clothes, his fluffy blankets, the throw and cushions from the sofa out in the living room, the bathrobe you’d used not too long ago, the pyjamas you kept in his closet, the pillows that were already on his bed… Jisung and you put these items together, creating this fluffy mess on his bed that certainly looked like a nest.

‘See? So you can do one of two things… If you’re doing it on your own, you can cover yourself as much as you can, essentially making yourself a warm little cocoon… But if you’re gonna share it, then you just lay in the middle. I, uh… I know I’m incredibly biassed, but I think this is probably one of the most romantic places to have sex in’, he said it with a completely straight face, so you really believed him.

Jisung did comment on how Minho could potentially react to a nest, considering it was something he hadn’t experienced in a romantic setting. ‘You know I build nests often when I’m anxious, so he sometimes joins me to help me calm down, but it’s all platonic… A nest built by you… I’m curious as to how it’d make him feel. If it makes him feel anything at all’.

That piqued your interest.

Exploring Minho’s animal instincts was always something you enjoyed doing. It made you curious, mostly because he hardly had any, and the ones he did have he couldn’t even understand very well.

As if on cue, the obnoxious beeps of the front door resonated in the flat. You heard it even in the bedroom, where you had been standing next to your nest with Jisung, just giggling and joking about it.

After Minho went into the flat, and the customary Tired Groan left his mouth, you heard his languid steps as he made his way to the bedroom. “Who gave you two stray cats permission to come into my home?”

His perfectly crafted tone of annoyance held no real meaning to it. You knew it, he knew it, and even Jisung knew it. So you just smiled and answered. “With yours, dummy. You wouldn’t have given us the code otherwise”.

As soon as he was at the door, his poised scowl turned into a look of surprise when his eyebrows rose high on his forehead. His eyes jumped from the nest on the bed, to you, to Jisung, and back to the nest. “Are you feeling well, Jisung?”

Of course. Based on Jisung’s earlier explanation, it made sense that your boyfriend had reached the conclusion that this was Jisung’s nest. That he was probably anxious and built it because of it.

“Yeap. I’m doing great. I was just showing our dear kitten how to build herself a nest”, Jisung usually gave the impression to people that he was dumb and silly. But in reality, he was very smart. And at that moment, in just a few seconds, he was able to choose the most suitable words to get his point across.

This wasn’t his nest.

It was yours.

Built by you with your own two hands.

“Huh…” Minho stared at the bed, and you could’ve sworn the bit of skin you could see under the collar of his shirt was slowly growing redder the longer he stood there.

You cleared your throat to get his attention, and you smiled brightly at him when his head snapped back in your direction. “No kiss?”

Minho blinked a bit, but then he was scoffing. He made his way towards you so he could cup your cheeks and pull you in for a kiss. You hadn’t seen him in a whole week, and that was way too long, in your humble opinion, so that kiss was more than necessary.

The dramatic sigh next to you made you break the kiss, and you turned to see a pouty Jisung staring at you two.

“No kiss for me?”

Of course. This was Jisung’s thing. He took any opportunity he could to beg for kisses.

Your boyfriend simply sighed, just as dramatically as Jisung had, and he quickly moved to stand in front of Jisung. Cradling the back of his head, Minho pulled Jisung to him, planting his lips on one of Jisung’s round cheeks to press a loud, moist kiss on his skin.

“Ew, why is it wet! Stop!”

They jostled for a bit, all while Minho chuckled, until he finally pulled away from Jisung and ruffled his hair. “Didn’t you want a kiss? There’s your fucking kiss”.

“A peck was enough, jeez”, Jisung wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, fake gagging.

The three of you broke into laughs and giggles for a bit, bantering back and forth on the ‘essential omega needs’ Jisung had, until Minho excused himself to go take a shower, leaving you and Jisung back on your own in his room.

“Alright, listen to me, dear kitten”, Jisung held you by the shoulders, trying to get your undivided attention. “Get as scantily clothed as possible, or, even better, get naked, lay in the centre of that nest, and wait for your boyfriend to come out of the shower. You can thank me in the morning”.

“Do you really think something like this would do anything to Minho? You know how he is, he doesn’t have these alpha urges”.

“I guess you’ll have to wait and see”, Jisung cradled your face in his hands, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead before he wished you good night. 

He knocked on the bathroom door on his way out, wishing Minho good night as well, then he was gone.

So you did just as he told you.

You figured that putting one of Minho’s t-shirts on and nothing else would do the trick, and it certainly did, if the look Minho gave you once he was out of the shower was anything to go by.

Minho really wasn’t that in touch with his animal needs, not unless he was close to his rut or maybe during a full moon night, but it seemed like the sight of you, dressed in nothing but his clothes and laying on your comfy little nest did things to him.

Before you knew it you were fully naked, with his head between your legs and his fingers in your cunt, giving you a mind-numbing orgasm only to flip you on your stomach and push his cock within your walls almost immediately after.

That was how you ended up here, relishing his sounds of pleasure in your ear, and the feel of him fucking you open. He was mumbling, things you couldn’t quite make out, not when his fingers found their way between your legs to rub tight circles on your clit.

“C’mon, baby…” Minho groaned, snapping his hips harder. “Give it to me, kitten, love… Want to–Fuck…”

“You–you want what, baby?” You kept meeting his thrusts, spurring him on. You were certainly almost over the edge, but you needed just a bit more… A bit more of him. “Want to stuff me full? Want that, too. Want your–your pups, baby…”

“Fuck! Fuck, fuck, shit, I’ll give them to you, kitten. All of them… Make sure I, fuck, I pump you full–”

Those were the last coherent words your boyfriend told you before you felt his warmth fill you up, before his name left your mouth in a breathless moan as your own orgasm raked through your body. He kept fucking your through it all, until you whined in oversensitivity.

When Minho peeled himself away from your back, your body slumped, and the sudden lack of his warmth almost gave you whiplash.

In an instant, his hands were on your buttocks, spreading you open just as his cum started to trickle out of your centre, and when you turned your head a little you almost giggled at the sight of him.

His chest was flushed, his cheeks as well, and he was staring at your core so intently it was almost like you could see and feel the phantom of his tail wagging in excitement. 

Before you could comment on it, he was leaning down and pressing a lingering kiss on one of your buttcheeks. “Stay right here, kitten”.

Minho left the comfort of your nest and made his way out of his room. He wasn’t gone for long, only a minute or two before he was back with a soaked washcloth to clean you up.

When he was done, he left the soiled fabric on his bedside table and dropped on his back next to you, staring at the ceiling. You just looked at him, resisting the urge to bring your fingers to his face so you could trace his features. Resisting only because he seemed to be deep in thought and you didn’t want to disturb him.

Eventually, he turned to his side, propping his head on his hand and looking at you. “That was…certainly something”.

You chuckled. “It was”.

“Kitten…” Minho scooted closer to you, draping an arm over your waist. “Do I…have a breeding kink?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. Loudly. “Oh, babe. Don’t all alphas do?”

“But I didn’t, though!” Minho was pouting and everything, which only prolonged your chuckles. “Not when I’m not, you know, going through my rut. But seeing you here, like this… Shit. It’s essentially just a pile of clothes and blankets and cushions, but I think it’s altering my brain chemistry for real”.

“Mmm…” You pushed on his chest a bit so he could be on his back again and you could lay on top of him. Minho wrapped his arms around your waist, keeping you close as you pressed a kiss on his lips. “It’s okay, baby. I can always build more nests so you can enjoy coming inside me. I enjoy it”.

“Eager, are we? What am I gonna do with you, kitten?” Minho chuckled, pressing quick pecks on your lips, waking the butterflies in your stomach, as if they hadn’t been wreaking havoc inside you a handful of minutes ago.

“Hopefully fuck me again, if I can have a say in what you decide to do”.

You clearly didn’t need to say anything else, just like he didn’t. The mischievous smile on his lips told you all you needed to know. 

It was definitely going to be a fun night. All thanks to that pile of miscellaneous pieces of fabric.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

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[tardistimes]

Fortune Favours

Part of The Master's Maniacal Misadventures series. AO3 link.

“You’ll be abducted by aliens – but don’t worry, they won’t carry out experiments on you.”

Setting down the paper you’d just read aloud from, you told O, “That’s a weird fortune to get.” So much, in fact, that you picked it up to read again. Maybe they were a joke variety, like the kind you get from a Christmas cracker. “What did you get?”

O let go of his chopsticks to pick up his fortune cookie. Slowly, purposefully slow you thought, he leant back, cracked it open, and slowly withdrew the piece of paper.

“Well?” You said.

He gave you one of those little smiles, the kind you were growing too fond of, before he bent his head to read his fortune, “Your short term goal will soon be realised.”

You read yours again. “Why’d you get a normal fortune and I got this?”

O shrugged. “Being abducted by aliens is clearly what the universe has planned for you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Again with the aliens? They’re not real.”

“Stranger things have happened.” He insisted.

“Fine.” You huffed, sitting back down in your seat at the conference table. A mountain of paperwork was spread out between you, cartons of Chinese food taking up whatever space was left. “So I’m going to get abducted by aliens. That’s one way to start a new year, I guess.”

The Master grinned slyly, hiding it behind a mouthful of disgusting human food.

“So what’s this short term goal of yours?” You asked.

“I can’t tell you,” O said solemnly, “or it won’t come true.”

“Oh come on,” and before he could say it, “and no I’m not saying your name. That’s when you make a wish, not from reading a fortune. It won’t jinx it.”

“Well I’m just not going to take that chance.” O said, remaining firm.

“Hmm, well I hope – for both our sakes – it’s getting this work done and soon. At this rate, they’ll be no point going home. It’s a good thing we get paid overtime.”

He wouldn’t wish for any such thing, having contrived for C to give you this extra workload solely for the extra time together. But that wasn’t the plan. No such thing as aliens, he mused. How wrong you were; and how soon you’d find out.

*              *              *

The Master thought human food was disgusting, so you were surprised when the TARDIS landed on Earth and he ushered you into a restaurant. He had learnt his lesson that you needed regular feeding, but he never came to Earth unless he was up to something.

Eyeing him suspiciously, even more so when he pulled out your chair for you to sit, you waited for whatever plot was about to be unleashed. You were well familiar with his schemes, the lengths and breadth of his creativity never failing to astonish but you’d thought you were past the point of surprise. Until you cracked open your cookie.

“You’ll be abducted by aliens,” you started, raising your eyebrows at the Master, “but don’t worry.” You laughed. “They won’t carry out experiments on you.

“I should hope not!” You added.

The Master grinned wolfishly, waiting for a reaction that you hadn’t given him.

Meeting those brown eyes though, it did stir a memory.

Glancing back down at the slip of paper, you read your fortune again.

“I’ve had this before.” You realised. “Did you…”

His grin turned devilish.

“… of course you did. Did you keep them or something?”

He still waited.

“Oh.”

“Yes.” The Master taunted.

“You made the fortune? So that means… were you planning to abduct me?” You said, suddenly outraged.

“Love, I did abduct you. From the Doctor.” He reminded.

“Oh. Right.”

“Did you forget? Or did you consider it a rescue from the teensy goodie two shoes Doctor?” The Master teased. “Admit it, love. You were relieved when I turned up.”

Rolling your eyes, you had no problem telling him that wasn’t true.

“Hardly, you were trying to kill all of humanity at the time. Also, Master, you know the Doctor’s taller than you.”

He ignored that fact. “Or perhaps you were hoping I would experiment on you.”

“You did. You used that god-awful book to figure out how humans work. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that we’re burning that SOB’s house down.”

“Love, I would never settle for such paltry retribution. Think bigger, then we’ll talk.”

You pursed your lips, tempted but you had another question to ask first. “What was your fortune?”

Grinning ear to ear, the Master theatrically picked up his cookie from the plate and cracked it open so enthusiastically that pieces rained over the table. With a flourish, the slip of paper was produced and he held it up to his eyes with a teasing smirk.

“Let’s see here, what does it say.” He drew out. “Hmm, interesting.”

“Master.” You groaned.

“Yes, love.” He said as innocent as a python with a mouse in its mouth.

“What does it say?”

Clearing his throat until he elicited another groan from you, he finally pronounced: “Your long term goal will soon be realised.”

Frowning, you tried to think back to that lifetime ago when you sat with O at work and ate that meal together. You got the same fortune but, “That’s not right. It was your short term goal.”

“Oh, love. I abducted you a long time ago.” Waving his slip of paper. “You’ll just have to wait and see what I have planned next.”

That was a fortune cookie I got on NYE and it made my mind go to this fandom ofc. Sorry it's only a short one! Only proofed it once too 😅 Set after Guileless Guides.

[coloursflyaway]

Won't Fear Love (4/6)

Pairing: Edwin Payne/Charles Rowland

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.500

Read on AO3

„We should go a date“, Charles says on a perfectly bland Tuesday, looking up at Edwin from whatever he is doing at the moment.

If Edwin wasn’t dead already, he would suspect that Charles is trying to kill him.

or:

Five times Charles takes Edwin on a date to figure out if he could fall in love with him, and one time when he has an answer.

tagging all the lovely people who wanted to give this fic a read: @itsablueberrycow @piristephes @assignedpeanutallergyatbirth @mylu @oneweirdbean @lifeinvirtualreality

There is a crowd outside of the next location.

At least it isn’t teenagers, Edwin reasons with himself, while he lets Charles drag him there, hand in unenthusiastic hand. It seems more like an adult event, with middle-aged men and women laughing and mingling, which elevates his worries just slightly. “Where are we going, Charles?”, Edwin asks, and the smirk Charles shoots back at him is definitely disconcerting.

“Well, the last thing we did, that was for you”, Charles explains and it seems to Edwin that he is far too excited about this. “This one’s for me. But I promise, you’ll like it.” It’s only because he has the utmost trust in Charles that Edwin sets a foot inside the establishment. And maybe the hand that is still holding his.

It is a concert.

Edwin should have known, after all, this is where Charles usually goes to if he spends an evening alone. On several occasions in the past, he had asked Edwin to join him, but he had always declined, preferring the quiet of their agency and a good book to the chaos of live music. Especially the kind that Charles seems to enjoy most.

However, he has to admit that there is something about watching Charles here that is… captivating. Intriguing. Beautiful in its own way. Because Charles is happy here.

He weaves through the crowd with practised ease, glowing with excitement as he takes in their surroundings, mouthing along to the song that is playing through the stereo. Edwin can hardly make out the words, yet Charles seems to know them by heart.

Eventually, Charles stops at the back of the room, a few metres away from the bar, and turns around to face Edwin. “We don’t want to go up the front, there’s gonna be a lot of people once the band starts”, he tells Edwin, “And I hate it when they phase through me during a song, really takes me out of the whole thing. Also, we’ve a bit more privacy here, yeah?”

Edwin isn’t certain why they would need privacy, seeing as they are not visible to anyone around, but he still appreciates the sentiment – people phasing through them is quite unpleasant and proximity to the stage isn’t anything Edwin is keen on in the first place. So, he nods, and Charles smiles, and then does something cruel, heartless, unthinkable.

He drops Edwin’s hand.

It is strange how used to it Edwin has become in such a comparatively short time, holding Charles hand, to the point where he feels the lack of it now, because they are on a date and Charles is supposed to hold his hand.

Yet, instead he is rummaging through his backpack, letting out a tiny Ah! when he finally finds what he has been looking for. He’s smiling, almost a little shyly, and reaches out to grasp Edwin’s lapel, fixing something on it.

“I got you a pin”, he explains; his hand finds Edwin’s again and all is fine in the world. “Little bit like mine. So you won’t look so out of place in here with your fancy suit and your perfect hair. See?” And he points to the pin, a little circle in black and white. It really does resemble the chequered one Charles is wearing, only that the lines are less crisp and more of a wave, that there are little pink and yellow stars scattered between them.

It looks ridiculous against the blue tweed. Edwin never wants to take it off.

“Where did you even get this from?”, he asks, feeling almost dazed, and Charles grins, even as he rubs the back of his neck, indicating an answer Edwin might not be happy with. “Stole it”, Charles admits, and yes, Edwin should be cross with him, but it is very difficult to remember that than when Charles stole it for him. “From a Primark a couple of blocks down from the office. But don’t worry about it, it was maybe a quid. They won’t miss it.”

He’s right, and much more importantly, Edwin just cannot bring himself to care.

“Thank you”, he says softly, putting his hand across the pin and almost, just almost feeling the cool, smooth plastic against his skin. “I love it.”

The band starts playing only a little later, and Charles is so happy that Edwin forgets that he doesn’t particularly likes crowds, that this isn’t music he would listen to if he could choose, not even that Charles at some point in his dancing drops his hand. Because there is joy in every motion, every word he sings along with, loud and inaudible to anyone but Edwin, and watching him, Edwin thinks he might never have loved him more. He’ll go to a thousand concerts, listen to a million songs that don’t make sense to him, if he only gets to see Charles like this again.

The song changes, a piano playing, and it’s more mellow than what has come before, and Edwin expects Charles’ movements to become slower; what he doesn’t expect is for Charles to turn around to him, his hair framing his face in wild curls and hold out his hand. “Wanna dance? I think we should dance.”

“Dance?”, Edwin repeats, still too dazed by Charles’s joy to make sense of the words, and he doesn’t get to think about it for a minute longer, because Charles grasps his hand and pulls him in.

Edwin has danced before, but not like this: it had been stuffy classes his mother made him go to in the summer before he died, taught by a stern woman with a hazel switch that she would use to flick at her students’ feet if they missed a step. He had hated every second of it.

This, however, is so different it should not even be allowed to carry the same name.

Charles’ hand settles on Edwin’s hip, gently pulling and pushing him with the rhythm until Edwin gets the hang of it, smiling so wide that Edwin’s cheeks hurt in sympathy. The light is dim, yet his eyes sparkle, and although the music is so loud, Edwin can hear Charles’ laughter when he raises their hands to spin around, before returning to Edwin’s arms.

He moves like it’s as easy as breathing and Edwin is captivated, smitten, unable to look away. And they are so close, close enough that Edwin could count each of Charles’ lashes, close enough that he can make out every excited twitch of his lips. It would be the easiest, and the scariest, thing in the world to just lean in and…

The song changes.

“I never thought I'd miss you half as much as I do”, the singer croons and Edwin is close enough that he can see that Charles’ eyes go wide, his smile falter for a split-second, before he starts laughing.

“What is the matter?”, Edwin asks, confused by the sudden shift of atmosphere. The music is still playing, sounding almost the same, they are still dancing, but Charles is looking at him with an expression Edwin cannot describe, let alone understand.

“Just listen”, Charles tells him, and Edwin does.

The melody is quite pleasant, upbeat and maybe a little bit longing, and Charles is watching him listen; eager, maybe, interested, definitely.

“Every night, every day, I know that it's you I need to take the blues away“, the singer continues, and Charles ducks his head a little, then „It must be love, love, love…“

And Charles looks back up at him, and suddenly it feels like Edwin hadn’t been aware how close they are after all, even if he spent the last minutes thinking about nothing else. But they are so close, and this is a love song and they are dancing and Charles still isn’t moving away.

Instead, he is holding Edwin’s hand and watching him, his eyes curious and dark, and Edwin wants to kiss him so much it hurts.

“How can it be that we can say so much without words?”, the singer asks and Edwin thinks, yes. Thinks, please. Thinks, I would do anything for you. Thinks, I love you the most.

It’s only when Charles makes a little sound at the back of his throat that Edwin realises they have stopped moving, but before he can formulate a single thought, Charles is dragging him close. Slender arms wrap around Edwin’s shoulders, and Charles is hugging him so fiercely that Edwin can feel it, their astral bodies so close he can hardly tell where he ends and Charles begins. Without thinking, Edwin hugs him back, and Charles buries his face in the crook of his neck, and Edwin holds him, eyes slipping shut.

“It must be love, love, love”, the music still plays, “Nothing more, nothing less, love is the best.”

It’s no kiss, but it’s enough, more than that, even.

It’s love, and the kind really doesn’t matter.

[allzelemonz]

Red Dead Redemption Scenarios: Falling asleep with his head on your lap

Pronouns: None Mentioned Physical Sex: None Mentioned Rating: T/References to sex Warnings: Fluff, sleeping, kissing

Abe: 

It’s just that he’s been so busy on the ranch and you’re so comfortable and your voice is so nice to his ears and he loves how you were playing with his hair. He just happened to nod off. You admire him as he sleeps and he sleeps very soundly with you. When he wakes up it takes him a moment before he realizes you were talking to him.

“I’m real sorry, I knew you was talkin’, I was just- well I- I mean-”

“It’s alright, Abe.”

He lays still for a second, enjoying the feeling of your fingers in his hair. “It was rude of me.”

You chuckle lightly. “Do you wanna go to bed?”

He nods, giving you a sheepish smile. “I am sorry, really.”

You bend over him and press a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t be.”

Bill Williamson: 

He wouldn’t be caught dead like this infront of anyone. But you’re in your tent, secure and private. He feels safe here. This is something he does often. Whenever he needs a nap he always likes to take it with you, have a nice time cuddling and being cozy. If you’re busy with something he’ll fall asleep however close you’ll let him, hoping he’ll wake up with you next to him. This time you just needed to get a few papers together to help with the ledger, so Bill settled onto the ground with his head resting gently in your lap. He watched you work for a while, but his eyes get heavy quickly and he falls. You give him the occasional loving look as you run a hand through his hair or over his hairy face, but the work takes longer than his nap. He wakes up and watches you for a while before he slowly gets up, gives you a quick kiss, and returns to the duties of camp.

Charles Smith: 

It’s not an uncommon occurrence and he doesn’t care about others seeing it as much as he might other forms of affection. Usually it’s on the edge of camp anyway. He’ll rest his head in your lap when neither of you have much to do, partly hoping that you’ll play with his hair. You usually do, it’s hard to resist. The feeling of your fingers lightly brushing or loosely braiding makes him close his eyes to enjoy it and he ends up drifting off. Sometimes you’ll just look at him, admiring how peaceful he looks when he sleeps, other times you’ll read or find something to occupy your hands until he wakes up.

Colm O’Driscoll: 

You would kill to have a camera. The ruthless gang leader looks like an old Irish dog when he sleeps. He snores lightly and his face is as peaceful as it will ever get. You have half a mind to try and get one of the boys’ attention so you can get a photo to remember this, but getting caught wouldn’t be good. Colm has his reputation, he holds it very close. He hardly ever even shows a soft side to you, it’s a rare occurrence just like this. So you bask in it, timidly letting your fingers run through his hair. You occasionally catch a tangle because he never brushes it and you have to carefully pull it apart. He stirs, blinking up at you.

“Sorry, Colm.” You mumble. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

He sighs, low and halfway a groan. “What time is it, sweetheart?”

“Afternoon.”

He settles back against your lap, closing his eyes again. “I got a job around sunset, wake me then.”

“Of course.” You say, smiling to yourself as you resume untangling his hair.

Kieran Duffy: 

He finds whatever time he can to sit with you at the campfire. Javier will often make a comment, telling you to get a room or something. It makes Kieran nervous, but you tell the outlaw off every time. Tonight it’s just Uncle telling his stories to a few of you. Kieran laid down, tired but not wanting to miss the old man’s story. You don’t notice he’s asleep until he twitches and you look down to see his closed eyes. You have your arm draped over his middle, so you tighten it because he likes to be held securely. He says it helps with the nightmares. Uncle goes on with his story and Kieran wakes up periodically before falling back asleep. It’s only once you’re tired that you lightly shake him and tell him it’s time to retire. He nods sleepily and allows you to pull him along.

Micah Bell: 

He’s always touching you in some way. So it’s no surprise when lays his head in your lap to attempt to distract you from cleaning your knife. It doesn’t work. He’ll often try to distract you, usually he’s more bold. He might run a hand up your thigh or kiss your neck, maybe even pull you close from behind so you can feel why he wants your attention. But today this is all he wants, to be close to you. When you finish your knife he hands you his and you take it without question, wanting his rare sweetness to continue. So you clean his knife and by the time you’re done he’s asleep. You set it to the side and admire him for a moment. His hair looks much more blond in the lighting, almost a true gold. You softly run your fingers through it, feeling the layer of grease that’s there even after he has a rare bath. When Micah sleeps it’s always light, so he feels you. He wakes up but he doesn’t show it because he wants you to keep admiring him and playing with his hair, but he’d never admit it.

Sean MacGuire: 

He could listen to you read to him for hours, but today it’s warm and things are slow. He falls asleep within a chapter and you happily save your place and make sure he’s comfortable. You rest a hand on his chest, messing with his shirt’s buttons while you look down at him. He’s peaceful, a small smile on his face. Time passes much quicker than you like and he wakes up even sooner. He smiles up at you, blinking the sleep from his eyes before he drags a hand over them.

“Nodded off, didn’t I?” He asks, yawning through the words.

You nod, running a hand over his face to push a few stray hairs away.

Sean sighs, stretching slightly. “Want me ta make it up ta ya?”

“How’s that?” You ask, matching his smile.

Sean sits up, turning so he can pull you in for a kiss.

[graceful-starker]

Tony the Friendly Ghost pt. 2

Summary: Getting used to Tony's sex drive is an ordeal.

Warnings: Mild dub-con/consensual dub-con, ghost!Tony, rough oral sex, come inflation.

Notes: I have loads of ideas for this AU, enjoy this installment!

~~~

Getting used to Tony had been a long process. Getting used to Tony’s sex drive was a whole other ball game. Peter can hardly take a shower anymore without Tony taking advantage of his nakedness. Which, sure, Peter isn’t really complaining; but still! He would like to be able to change clothes or take a shower without earning a sore ass. His friends are starting to question why he chooses to stand so much.

“Listen,” Peter had said, panting for breath and hanging onto the shower wall for life, “not that I don’t like-like when you fuck me, but you have to let me shower every now and then without taking advantage. The water bill is getting insane, Tony!”

Tony had completely ignored him, kissing Peter’s neck and pushing two fingers inside Peter’s already incredibly well-fucked hole. 

Peter had keened, digging his fingers into the wall uselessly. “You’re going to kill me, at this rate,” Peter had whined. 

The fingers had quickly retreated, Tony’s hands instead landing on Peter’s hips to help the poor boy remain standing. 

“Thank fuck,” Peter had mumbled, shakily releasing the wall and reaching for the soap. “You can just ask, you know. There’s better times for me than when I’m changing or showering. I can get naked other times too.”

That had been a mistake, Peter had realized quickly. Because making Tony aware that he was not limited to when Peter was already naked made Tony try and get him naked every other time. 

Such as, when Peter is trying to tidy up. Or when he’s trying to cook. Or when he’s walking from one room to the next. 

In telling Tony he needs to fuck Peter less, Peter has opened a world of new opportunities and times to do so. Peter is fucked no less than three times a day now. Tony will just pull his pants down at random points in his day and have his way with Peter, whenever he wants to.

Right now is about to be the third time of the day, he’s sure. He’s just gotten home from work, tired and a little cranky; nothing his ghost can’t handle, though. 

“Tony,” Peter calls when he walks through the door, hanging up his keys and jacket. “Listen, can we talk? Where are you?”

Tony bangs gently on the white board in the living room, and Peter walks that way. BAD DAY? Is already written there. 

“Kind of,” he mumbles, sitting heavily on the couch. He rubs his face, taking a deep breath. “I’m just really tired. It was a very long day, lots of running around doing errands.”

The marker squeaks against the board, and Peter waits for it to stop before looking up. I CAN HELP YOU RELAX. 

Peter smirks, leaning back against the couch. “I’m not up for your method of relaxing right now,” Peter teases. “You’ll wear me out even more.”

I CAN DO ALL THE WORK. YOU CAN JUST LAY DOWN. 

Peter laughs softly, shaking his head. “Maybe if you were capable of being gentle,” he half-jokes. “You can go one night without fucking me, you’ll be just fine.”

The marker hesitates, the other words getting erased slowly. Then, I COULD USE YOUR MOUTH. 

Something sparks up Peter’s spine at the wording; at the situation in general. Tony has never really been the best about asking for what he wants. Not that Peter minds. Half the time Tony makes Peter feel loved and cherished, like a real partner. Then the other half, he makes Peter feel like a convenient, available sex toy. Like his only purpose is to serve Tony sexually, to be available to be used 24/7. 

He thought he might mind the feeling, might resent Tony for making him feel this way. Instead it makes him hot, even as it confuses him. 

“You’re just going to use me?” Peter asks, and can’t keep how much he likes the idea out of his voice. “Doesn’t matter what I want, then?”

The marker is placed on the board, and Peter’s breath hitches. That was his only confirmation of where Tony was. 

“Don’t,” Peter says, but his cock is twitching in his work pants. “I’m not- I’m tired, Tony.”

Tony’s cold fingers tightly clench his jaw, yanking his face upwards. Peter’s eyes go wide, and he gasps loudly. Tony takes advantage, sticking his thumb in Peter’s mouth and pressing down on the tongue. 

Peter whines, one hand coming to wrap around where he assumes Tony’s wrist is, and the other pressing into his own jaw gently. 

Tony pulls his thumb out and uses his other hand to stick two fingers in Peter’s mouth. 

Peter chokes on it at first, coughing against the intrusion. But his body gets used to it the more Tony’s fingers move in and out of his mouth, and he looks up at nothing with wet eyes. 

Tony pulls his fingers out finally, and he tilts Peter’s face up even more. 

Peter whimpers, eyes filling with tears that he hopes looks pretty to Tony. “Please, I don’t- it’ll hurt. You’re too big! Please Tony, don’t-”

Tony cuts him off by slipping the tip of his cock past Peter’s lips, stretching Peter’s mouth even wider and tightening his grip on Peter’s jaw. 

His jaw is going to bruise; Tony isn’t good about being careful. Peter finds that not only does he not care, but he hopes he bruises. He hopes he has some physical proof of this happening, something to look at and remind him of this exact moment. 

Tony starts by slowly moving his cock head in and out of Peter’s lips, before pushing further in. He hits the back of Peter’s throat, and keeps pushing. 

Peter’s eyes widen as he realizes he isn’t going to be eased into this. His gags against the first push into his throat, his lips stretched obscenely around nothing. He quickly gasps in a deep breath through his nose, not knowing when Tony will allow him to breathe again. 

He manages it just in time, because Tony pushes deeper, blocking off his airways, just as Peter finishes. He keeps pushing and pushing, and Peter chokes violently with tears running down his cheeks. Tony keeps pushing until his balls rest against Peter’s chin, and Peter can swear he feels Tony’s cock halfway to his stomach. 

Peter chokes on it, the hand on his jaw moving to cup his throat and feel Tony. Tony’s hips pull away fractionally, and Peter can breathe for a second before Tony shoves back inside. 

Tony starts to pull his cock out until just his tip is resting on Peter’s tongue. He gives Peter just a second to suck in a new breath before slowly pushing back in as deep as he possibly can. The noises he’s pulling from Peter’s throat are obscene, and every single one makes Peter’s cock twitch in interest.

Peter feels tears rolling down his cheeks, and he can hardly see anymore. Tony is fucking his throat brutally, speeding up with each thrust as if he’s trying to quickly train Peter’s throat into taking such intense abuse. Just the thought of that makes Peter whine at his first chance at air. He’s absolutely leaking, darkening the front of his pants where he’s already tenting them. 

Tony uses his free hand to run his fingers through Peter’s hair, tangling his fingers into the locks and yanking just enough to sting. Peter isn’t sure how Tony manages to find the exact line between pleasurable pain and actually hurting Peter. 

The ghost continues to brutalize Peter’s throat until Peter is drooling all down his chin and his jaw is aching. Peter squeezes his neck just to make feel it that much more intense, just to make it that much harder to breathe. 

The hand wrapped around Tony’s wrist slips down his torso to rub at himself through his pants, choking on a relieved groan at the pressure. He moves to unbutton his pants and pull himself out, but then Tony pushes him by shoving his hips harder into Peter’s face. 

Peter chokes on it, his hand coming up to try and stop Tony’s hips from moving any further. He looks up with tears clumping his eyelashes together, hoping he’s glaring at Tony’s face. 

Tony grabs onto Peter’s hand with the one he had previously been using to hold onto Peter’s jaw, tangling their fingers together and keeping it far away from Peter’s own aching cock. The second he realizes that’s what Tony is doing his cock jumps, and he feels like he could almost come without touching himself at this rate. 

He whines loudly around Tony, feeling his face heat with how long Tony has kept his cock buried as deep as possible and cut his oxygen off. 

Tony squeezes his hand, finally pulling out again until just his tip is between Peter’s lips. 

Peter sucks in desperate breaths through his nose, running his tongue along the tip and eventually through the slit. He hollows his cheeks and suckles on the tip, taking deep and measured breaths until he feels like his lungs aren’t burning anymore. 

Tony squeezes Peter’s hand again, and that’s the only warning he gets before Tony starts to fill Peter’s mouth, shooting the first few ropes of come so they cover Peter’s tongue. The temperature is a bit weird, just like the first time he tried a taste. 

Peter loves how much Tony comes, he loves the way it fills him up and bloats his stomach out. But that’s when Tony is buried up his ass, not in his mouth. His cheeks quickly puff out with how much Tony is giving him, until he can’t hold it anymore and it starts to dribble out the corners of his mouth and down his chin. 

Tony tightens his grip on Peter’s hair and pushes his cock in more, pushing more come out of Peter’s lips. Peter whimpers and tries to swallow, but Tony is replacing it faster than Peter can swallow it down. More and more is pushed out of his lips, making a mess of Peter’s chin and his work shirt as it drips down his chest and starts to land in his lap. 

The ghost pushes further down Peter’s throat, pushing past the point where Peter can breathe, and keeps going until his balls are back to being pressed against Peter’s chin. 

Peter’s eyes widen as he starts to panic; Tony's cock is pulsating in his mouth, and he’s just grinding his hips in tiny circles as deep as he can.

Peter whimpers, swallowing uselessly and gripping his neck tighter. He looks up at Tony with pleading eyes, begging to be allowed to breathe again.

Tony ignores him in favor of continuing to grind his hips against Peter’s face, continuing to shoot his load down Peter’s throat. Peter tries to swallow, but he’s choking on it and some keeps bubbling out of his mouth and down his chin. He feels like he’s being filled to the brim, like he might explode with how much Tony is filling his stomach with. 

His eyes roll into the back of his head as his vision starts to dot with black spots. His grip on his neck and Tony’s hand both start to loosen.

That’s when Tony finally pulls out, and Peter gasps in a lungful of desperate air, his lungs aching. He chokes on Tony’s come, feeling his breath shudder with it. It takes him a moment to realize Tony is still coming, and is painting Peter’s face with ropes of it.

He whines desperately, his own cock absolutely throbbing with need, and opens his mouth again. Some of Tony’s come lands on his tongue, and Peter swallows it down and closes his eyes as more and more lands over his face. He sticks his tongue out again and Tony takes advantage, shoving his cock back down Peter’s throat and feeding him more. Peter’s jaw is aching, but he loves the feeling.

He finally lets go of Peter’s hand, and Peter wastes no time at all. His hand flies down his pants, pulling his cock out and stripping it as quickly as he can. His other hand leaves his throat to rest on his stomach, groaning at the way his stomach is bloated with how much Tony has fed him. 

Tony finally finishes, pulling out and resting his softening tip against Peter’s swollen lips. Peter gasps in air, fisting himself faster until his eyes roll into the back of his head and he comes hard enough to reach his chin. 

He recovers slowly, panting with an open mouth and looking down at his stomach. He groans at the sight of it, letting go of himself before he gets too oversensitive. “Fuck,” Peter says; or tries to, at least. It comes out more a whisper of air than anything. His voice is fucking wrecked, and his throat hurts already. “Oh, fuck.”

Tony lets go of his hair, petting Peter’s cheek instead in comfort. Or maybe he’s smearing his come into Peter’s face; it’s hard to tell with Tony. 

“Tony,” he tries again, but it’s hardly audible. 

Tony finally lets him go and Peter sees the marker move. I TOLD YOU I COULD HELP YOU RELAX.

“That was not relaxing. That was the opposite of relaxing,” he manages to get half the syllables out, at least. 

YOU LOVED IT, Tony writes, not hesitating even a second. 

Peter grins, looking down at his stomach and wiping some of the come off his cheek. “Yeah, I did,” he agrees just as easily.

[insuke69]

Hey I was wondering if you could do a hobie x trans!reader mtf kinda like the ftm one you did, and if so please tag me in it

His Girl.

★Hobie Brown x Mtf!reader <3

☆You're feeling insecure of something you know you can't get rid of any time soon. At least Hobie would never mind.

★ ; Angst, misgendering mentioned, descriptions of crying, pre-bottom surgery, fluff.

☆ Transphobia = Blocked 849 words.

_______________________

You look at the woman in the mirror you’ve worked so hard to maintain, making you feel like you inside. After years of taking hormone therapy to kill off the misplaced testosterone and replace them with as much estrogen you could.

Little bitties grew, thinner hairs to shave, and finally being the girl you’ve known you were ever since you saw your friends wear dresses, Hardly anyone could tell; You’re always told ‘You don’t look trans?’ as if trans girls looked any different from the ones assigned as such at birth.

All was good except for one thing.

One thing that could have been good if you were cis.

Of course it's convenient whenever you and your boyfriend, Hobie, are having intimacy, but beyond that: It’s difficult to try and tuck every hour of the day spent in public and you can only dream of wearing thin dresses without that incorrectly positioned dick.

Except you had found a summer dress at a thrift shop while on a date with Hobie and bought it because of it’s cutthroat price and at how it would seem to hug your body perfectly once its being worn, the color would be breathtaking against your skin and ‘on the floor of my bedroom’ as Hobie put it.

That impulsive buy ended up having its repercussions, you were in the bathroom and you almost felt like you were gonna cry.

It wasn’t that the dress didn’t fit, You tried it on when you were buying it, But you were tucked then. Usually when you re-enter the comfort of your own home you get comfortable on the couch or in bed and quit worrying about being tucked or not.

But promptly forgetting about it, your default of having your sex free in the confines of your underwear. That bulge peeking through the soft fabric which made you frown, whining with your hands over your face with frustration.

It’s so hard to try and be as womanly as possible, if it’s not hormones it’s the clothing. If it isn’t clothing, It’s the people and homophobes. If it isn't any that bullshit; It’s the one thing you’re fully stuck with until you can afford the surgery.

Your body.

Hobie had heard the whines from the other side of the door and soon began knocking on it. “Sweethear’?” He asked as the door opened slowly, being greeted by you quickly wiping your eyes free of the fallen tears.

“Hey hey hey..” He said with his voice being gentle and soft as if speaking to a baby, his hands moving towards you to pull them away from your face, soon wiping your tears himself. “What’s wrong?”

You frowned more as you looked up at him, you felt your throat grow an unforgiving lump, and not wanting to talk because you knew your voice would crack with your words.

“The dress doesn’t look good on me..” You mumbled after being able to find your voice, looking down at the dress adorning your frame and straightening it out by your hips to express what you mean.

“What are you talking about? You’re beautiful..” he responded softly as he looked down at you and your body with his eyes gazed at you as if you were the only woman in town, in the city, at all. 

“The dress is too thin- and I’ll have to always be tucked and it’s annoying how I’m literally just a girl but born in the wrong body.” You cried, to which hobie wrapped his arms around you with one hand cradling the back of your head.

“Shh.. Shh.. You’re alrigh’, You’re going to be fine. Soon you’ll have the surgery, soon you wouldn’ even recognize the boy that was once there.” He tried to reassure before you cut him off.

“Soon! I don’t care about soon I need Now, I don’t want to have to wait-”

“Exactly, You’re stuck like this. Things may look bad but look on the brighter side. You have me that will support you along the way, You have the access to hormones and you have something to look forward to. I bet this day in two years will breeze on and by then the only thing about you that wouldn’t be accommodated to the girl you are is a letter in a birth certificate.”

You felt yourself get less tense at his words and melt a bit more into his comforting touch and his words soothing your ears to your brain.

Once the atmosphere calmed down, Hobie kissed the top of your head and leaned over a little more in order to whisper in your ear, “Besides, we can have so much fun in said two years.”

You roll your eyes playfully and soon feel his lips close over yours, and your beating heart pumping downwards in a familiar way. And he slowly eases you against the bathroom sink and hands lowering to the ends of your dress just below your hips, and his voice a low raspy siren call.

“Lemme show you how much fun I can ‘ave wit’ my girl..”

____________

Stopping right before the smut because feminism or something (/j)

I'm not a trans woman so I'm sorry if I got anything bad or wrong! Commissions = open

[holylulusworld]

Deep Abyss (6)

Summary: The Winter Soldier smelled something divine, and no one would stop him from having his omega.

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Brock Rumlow

Warnings: a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, angst, true mates, male omega, hostage situation, fluff (kinda), forced cuddling, scenting

Deep Abyss masterlist

Deep Abyss (5)

Brock wakes from a restless slumber. He couldn’t sleep all night. Not with the alpha everyone fears the most holding him in his arms. More than once, he tried to break out of Bucky’s embrace, but the alpha didn’t let go of him.

He gave up fighting eventually and closed his eyes. There was nothing he could do about his situation at that moment. Brock lay awake at night, thinking about a plan to escape the soldier.

Bucky could tell him whatever he wanted; he wouldn’t believe a single word coming out of the asset’s mouth. Hydra’s blunt tool was nothing but a stone-cold killer to him Brock couldn’t and wouldn’t trust the alpha.

“You’re awake,” Bucky murmurs in his omega’s neck. He sniffs at Brock, humming happily because the omega’s scent got stronger. “We are going to leave this place tonight. I found a better place for us to hide from now on.”

Brock didn’t dare to move when Bucky purred in his neck. His teeth graze Brock’s untouched mating gland, making his intention clear. The alpha wanted to claim his omega sooner rather than later.

“When did you find a new place? You’ve been here all night,” Brock asks, wondering when the alpha had the time to find a new hideout.

“While you were sleeping peacefully, I left to explore the area further. I found an old car and repaired it,” Bucky explains while nosing his way up and down Brock’s neck. He can hardly wait to show Brock the home he found for them. “I’ll show you our new home soon, Brockie. Now, we should get up. I brought food and new clothes. It’s cold out there, omega.”

“Brock!” The omega grunts. “My name is Brock. Not Omega, or Brockie. Stop acting like I’m a doll you can play with.”

 “You’re my sweet omega.” Bucky nuzzles his face in Brock’s neck. He knew his mate was strong-headed and a wild one. The alpha smirks, already imagining how he’ll tame his omega. “Now get up. We have a long day of planning our next steps ahead of us. Take a shower and wear the clothes I placed on the chair. There’s a wig too, and make-up.”

“A wig?” Brock huffs. “You know that I’m not a girl, right? Whatever you are fantasizing about in your fried brain; it’s not going to happen. Alphas tried to dominate me before, they all ended up in the hospital.”

“I only want to make sure my omega is safe,” Bucky says. He reluctantly released Brock to prepare breakfast and check on the few supplies he was able to gather. “Get up and get dressed. You need to eat too. I need you strong, and healthy.”

Brock chews slowly. He tries once again to buy himself time to come up with a plan. He wants to escape his kidnapper without getting hurt or killed.

The skilled handler watches his kidnapper stuff clothes into a backpack. He doesn’t know where Bucky got all the things. He assumes Bucky must’ve found a house or a small town nearby.

“You need to dress soon,” Bucky points at the clothes on the chair. “We cannot waste more time. We’ve stayed here for too long. Hydra won’t give up so easily.”

“Why don’t you leave me here? You’re faster without me,” Brock tries again to convince the alpha to just leave him behind. “I’ll come up with a lie. Maybe if you knock me out, it’s more convincing. I can tell them you needed a hostage and left me behind because.”

“They will kill you, omega,” Bucky frowns deeply. “I could never leave you behind. You’ve been the only person who didn’t treat me like an animal.”

Brock huffs. Great. The Winter Soldier only took him because he showed an ounce of decency and didn’t treat the asset like a piece of meat. “Just let me go.”

“No—” Bucky growls low in his throat. He uses his alpha voice, forcing Brock’s body to go stiff. “You’ll eat up, get dressed, and come with me, omega.”

The omega nods. For now, he must give up. There’s no escaping the soldier. Brock must sit and wait. One way or another, he’ll get out of Bucky’s clutches. He’s sure about it. Brock Rumlow survived worse…

Part 7

Tags in reblog.

[imtooscaredforthis]

Entrapment

Chapter Twenty Seven: Peace & Love

Mentions of: Blackmailing, Manipulation (not from readers pov but still), alcohol, scars and mature themes

A/N: So sorry for the late update, but y’all can have a cute chapter as a reward <3

Tags: @elentiyaiswriting @dead-bxxxtch-walking @mama-miya @vandeaad @the-fandoms-georgie

You didn’t want to go to work today. You felt awful after what happened with Jed. One of your biggest pet peeves was when people took their anger out on you, making you miserable just because they’re having a bad day. And that’s exactly what you did. None of this was his fault. He knew you were having a hard time and he wanted you to have fun and you yelled at him and accused him. God, you felt awful.

It would be best if you apologized sooner rather than later. The longer you wait, the worse it’ll get. So you have to rip it off like a bandaid.

With a shaky breath, you messed with the string of your purse nervously. You watched as the number rose on the elevator, waiting for them to reach your floor and the doors to pull open.

When they did, you found yourself making a beeline straight for Jed’s desk. He was typing something on his monitor, hardly noticing your presence. You took a deep breath. “Hey.”

He looked up, locking eyes with you. He opened his mouth to speak, but you were already halfway through apologizing before he could even say anything.

“I’m really sorry about what happened on Friday. I was just stressed and I was saying things I didn’t mean, not that it’s a valid excuse or anything, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and-”

He got to his feet, pressing a comforting hand on your shoulder. Your mouth snapped shut. He smiled at you warmly. “There’s something I want to show you.”

You followed Jed to his car. He opened his glove compartment, pulling out an envelope. Inside were photos of all of Ghostface’s past victims.

“He sends me these, after every time he’s killed. No matter what I do, the next morning there’s a photo in my mailbox, with the same request. Write about this, or you’ll be next. Or worse…it’ll be someone I care about. There are nights when I can hardly sleep or eat, when I hate myself for what I have to do. I don’t enjoy writing about this ______, but I have no other choice. The only thing I can do is sit and wait for the police to catch him.”

You felt guilt and sympathy twist through your stomach. You knew exactly what he was going through, how dould you think anything less? How could you be so selfish? “Jed, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know. I haven’t told anyone this, and I can’t go to the police, or else he’ll…please ____, promise me you won’t tell anyone. If anything happened to you, I’d never be able to forgive myself.” He reached over, caressing your hands and giving them a soft squeeze.

“I promise.” You murmured. He slipped his hand from yours, touching your cheek softly, before leaning in and kissing you. You kissed him back, letting yourself melt into him. Letting his lips mold with yours.

It had been far too long since someone had touched you softly, since someone had touched you with so much care. It numbed all the pain, cleansed you from the dirtiness of Ghostface’s touch. It made your mind go blank, and for once, you forgot about everything.

He pulled away, smiling at you softly. “Would you like to get out of here? Just for today?”

“...Okay.”

–

“I didn’t expect you to be such a romantic.” You remarked as he laid the blanket out on the grass. He shrugged at you with a grin. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.”

You pulled out a bottle of cheap wine and sandwiches you had bought from the store, pouring a glass for yourself and for Jed. You gazed over at the river, admiring the view. It was beautiful.

“How did you find this spot?” You couldn’t help but ask.

“When the Ghostface murders started up, I needed space to clear my head and to write. And it’s so peaceful out here, beautiful too. It helps me think.” You watched him, studying the sincere expression on his face. There was a dark look in his eyes, one from the pain of knowing, the pain of being tortured. The pain you had felt almost every day.

You took a long couple of sips from your wine, turning to refill your glass. “You know, this is the first time you’ve ever really told me anything about yourself.”

“Oh, really?” He mumbled, seeming slightly embarrassed at the realization.

“Yeah, but it’s not a bad thing. I mean, all we talked about was work, or about me. I kinda thought the whole mysterious guy thing was pretty hot, but having you open up and be vulnerable with me feels a lot better. I really appreciate it.” You admitted.

“Honestly, I don’t like to talk about myself much. My mother taught me that it was more important to listen. Most people never do, but I’m all ears. Also, I don’t think there’s a lot for me to say about myself. I mean..I’m pretty boring.”

You frowned at that. “Jed, I don’t think you’re boring at all. In fact, I think you’re one of the most interesting people in Roseville. I mean, you’re very charming, kind, and smart, and you’re an amazing writer. And to be honest, without you, I probably would be so lost.”

And that was too much. God, how much did you drink? Feeling your cheeks get all hot, you glanced down at the glass in your hand.

“I appreciate that. I really do.” He leaned in and kissed you again, after a few minutes he pulled away, reaching down and caressing your waist gently. His hand went to move under your shirt, and you found yourself stopping him yet again.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered against his lips. “I just- I need some time.”

Your scars were only starting to fade, and you weren’t in the right mindset at the moment. You felt guilt curl in your stomach, preparing him to be disappointed by you spurning his advances once again. But he wasn’t. Instead, he smiled softly, pressing a small peck to your lips. “There’s nothing you have to be sorry for. You take all the time you need, alright?”

“Thanks, Jed.”

The two of you lied back against the blanket, gazing up at the clear blue sky above. For once, you let yourself live in the moment and forget about all the pain and fear. For once, you felt at peace.

[inquisitor-runa]

you have to put more than "minor angst" as a trigger warning in your kidnapped chat fics 😭. People might think it's only a joke and get hut in the face with some heavy stuff!

Hi, anon!

I get your point, but a few things need to be cleared.

1) The theme is expressly written in the title. “You’ve been kidnapped”. Kidnap is hardly “only a joke”, so, if a person chooses to read it, they are aware that there are mentions of someone being held against their will, possible threats, etc.

2) There are no mentions of crack in the content. There is “swearing”, there is “slight mention of abuse” (if you read the texts, you’ll see it IS slight) and minor angst because the boys are worried for their partner. That’s it. No one is seriously injured, no one is killed and in every scenario it is implied that the reader will be released (except in Law’s, but still, no harm is done to the reader).

Absolutely nothing in this content leads to a joke, only Shanks BEFORE he realizes the person he is talking to is not his s/o. Once he does, he takes the subject very seriously.

3) Angst is very relative. What might be heavy to someone, is not heavy to other people.

4) Finally, I post here for fun. And I try to be as mindful as I can about triggering people, that’s why I usually don’t post angst, even minor. But if people take things out of context and imply that I’m triggering others, I’ll delete all my SMAUS and go back to never posting anything.

5) Please, don’t tell someone they HAVE to do something. It’s rude. You could always ask nicely, I promise, it doesn’t hurt one bit. :)

That’s it, everyone. People have all the freedom to comment whatever they want, but I also have the freedom to explain things from my point of view.

No hate, anon. It just upsets me a little when things are said without the proper context.

[katierosedreams2]

TMEGE 2

Her phone dinged, and I quickly spun around, almost reaching for Hollies' phone myself. She hardly even noticed if it wasn’t for my reaction, she was more concerned about her show than she was about my missing clothes. She picked up her phone and began reading to herself. The suspense was killing me. As she read, she spoke to herself. “Oh” “I see” “ok” This was like torcher. How could this day that started off so amazing end so terribly!?

When she finally finished, she looked at me, her eyes gliding up and down. “Hmm… I think I could have something for you.” She spoke to herself. “Hollie, what did Haley say?” I tried not to seem panicked and desperate. “So Haley found out that our maid had taken your clothes. She thought they may have been left over by some boy who might have stayed the night here and did as she has been instructed to, she donated them. So you have nothing until we go shopping tomorrow. But that’s ok! I have lots of stuff you can borrow! We seem about the same size, so no need to panic! And then after tomorrow you’ll have so many cute things to wear, it’ll be so hard to pick just a single outfit!” She said cheerfully. 

What!?! My mind raced! I have no clothes to wear!?! I have to wear her clothes tomorrow!?!? This is not the impression I wanted to give. How could this be happening!? These girls are going to see me as some sissy or something! I was trying to stay calm, but it was a struggle. “It’s going to be ok sweetie, I have great style, you’ll look great! I’ll pick out something that’s very flattering, I promise! After all, it’s me and Haley that created the designs for our uniforms! You can just sleep in that and just head over to my room in the morning!” She seemed so calm and reassuring. 

I took a deep breath, I guess she’ll make sure I don't look girly or anything, so this should be ok. “Alright, thank you, and thank you for all of your help, Hollie. This days has just been a lot of excitement. Mostly great! But that was quite a shock.” 

“Of course Jaycee! You’re my girl! It’s my job to take care of you! I’m going to go back to my room and finish my show and go to bed.” She got up off my bed, her sexy beautiful body looking stunning in her sheer lingerie. “Don’t forget to review your contract and the employee handbook sometime soon.” She tapped her long pretty nails on the stack of paper on my desk as she walked by. Her hips swaying in a seductive captivating way. My tiny dick started to get hard as I stared at her ass as she walked. She stopped in the hallway to my door and turned around. “Oh, if you get “lonely” tonight, there’s a “gift” in your far nightstand drawer, compliments from all of us monster girls!” She smiled and winked this sexy flirty wink and then turned around and walked out my door. I could hear her giggle and say “Have fun girl!” Just before the door closed. 

And just like that, the spell I seemed to be under was broken! I looked down, my face red with embarrassment. Had she seen my erection? I looked at the sheer flowy dress and couldn’t even tell I was hard under the black thong. I guess I got in her panties, just not the way I thought. Wait, why did she say I was her “girl”? And what was in the drawer? I waisted no time. I got up and walked over to the other side of my bed and opened the dawer. I almost jumped back! 

In the drawer was a note, underneath was a ginormous dildo! It must have been at least ten inches long! And it was thicker than my arm! Not that I have thick arms or anything. There was also some lube, a small vibrator, some handcuffs, condoms, and something that I think was an enema. I was so scared and confused! I think this must be some joke! I carefully grabbed the note, trying not to touch the simulated giant male member. “Welcome to the Monster Girls Jaycee!! We are so happy to have you girl! We never want one of our girls getting lonely, so here’s a small gift for those nights you don’t have some hot guy in your bed!! Don’t worry, you'll lose that virginity in no time! For all the Monster Girls to you, have fun! Ps And don’t forget to practice those deep throat skills! We are all known to be some of the best!”

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??! There must be some mistake!? They must be confused!?? What is happening!!? In a panic, I threw the note back into the drawer and closed it. This must all be some prank or something!? I picked up my phone. I saw that Haley had texted me the plans for tomorrow. I also noticed the previous texts from my mom. I opened them. 

“I’m so sorry sweetie! I love you Jaycee! You’re my baby! I will always love you! I wish I could have made myself more available and open. I wish you could have felt like you could have been open and honest with me! I hope you’re not running off because you thought I wouldn’t have understood! You could have started transitioning so much sooner! I don’t care that you don’t want to be a boy, I always saw you as feminine anyway! I am so happy to have you as my daughter! I will always be proud of you! I just hope I wasn’t a terrible mother! I hope it wasn’t my fault that you didn’t feel like you could be the girl you are so much sooner! Please call me when you can! I love you sweetie!” 

It’s like my whole world stopped. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!? WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT!?! Then I looked over at the contact sitting on my desk. What the hell did I get myself into!?!? I slowly picked up the contract and started reading. I don’t think I have ever read something so fast in my life. 

HOW DID I LET THIS HAPPEN!?! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO FOOLISH!?! I SHOULD HAVE READ THE WHOLE ADVERTISEMENT! I SHOULD HAVE READ THIS LEGALLY BINDING CONTRACT BEFORE I SIGNED IT!! 

It said that I was part of their new diversity program. The goal was to hire a trans woman to join the Monster Energy Girls. If I were to back out or disobey the contact, I would be held liable for the expense of $300,000! I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY!! I have to be a trans woman and participate in and with all the things the monster energy girls are required to do. Also, if I turn out not to be a trans girl, they will persecute me as a sexual offender, since I will be rooming, living, changing, and engaging in “intimate activities” with these women. In other words, I'm forced to live my life as a woman, or I will go to jail and owe an insane amount of money. The worst part is, I don’t just have to live as a woman, I have to BE a Monster Energy Girl! I have to dress a specific way at all times, I have strict beauty and body standards, I also have a unique modeling conditions. As well as “other personal services” that I will have to render to whoever the company demands. 

I sat on the edge of my bed, stunned. The reality of my situation flooding over me. I started to cry, realizing that, no matter what, my life was over. It was jail, or being slutty a girl. I looked down at my tears as they fell onto my sexy sheer nightgown and saw my girly body. I realized if I went to prison, I'd just end up a girl there too. At least here I’m treated well, well paid, free travel, free education. I'd have to suck dick and get fucked in my ass I guess. But that would happen no matter what I chose from this point on. I guess I get to choose if I want to have pretty makeup, wear a sexy outfit, and have this view of the ocean while I do it. Or If I want to have some makeshift skirt out of some prison uniform and be forced to do it by some guy, or guys, with the view of a brick wall. 

When I thought about it that way, I guess my decision wasn’t so hard. I couldn’t tell a soul that I didn’t want to be a girl, that I wasn’t a trans girl. I couldn’t show any hesitation. Everyone has to think I want this, or I’ll be roughly forced by the guys in prison to become a girl anyway. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I’m not gay. I don’t want this. Maybe once it’s all over in four years, I can just move on and finally get a girlfriend. I had to wait four years in high school. What’s four more? Although in high school I was never someone’s girlfriend!

There was nothing I could do about this now. I looked at the time, 1:30! Oh my god, it’s late! I have been dealing with this for hours! I just need to sleep. I have to wake up so soon! I set my alarm on my phone and laid down. My mind racing, it felt impossible to sleep. I laid there, for what felt like an eternity. I looked at the time again, 3:30. Oh my god, I’m not going to get to sleep tonight. I felt like I had to fight this thing, like I had to confront my situation head on. Like I had to adapt or die. 

I felt this strange pull to the nightstand drawer. I rolled over and opened it. There it was, that massive dildo. Or at least I felt like that was massive. I sat up, and slowly reached down into the drawer. My hand slowly reached around the large plastic object. It was so thick my fingers couldn’t even come close to reaching around it. I pulled it out of the drawer and just looked at it in my small hand. It was so heavy! I reached down a felt my own to compare. It was like it wasn’t even there in comparison. My dick started to tingle from me touching it and I quickly stopped. I placed both of my hands on this massive cock, it extended well past my grasp. I don’t know what compelled me to do this, but I pulled the tip right to my lips and kissed it. I quickly pulled it away! It frightened me! It was like my body just did it without me thinking! 

And then I did it again, but I didn’t pull away this time. I just kissed it again, and again, softly and gently. Each time, I slowly put more and more of the head of this dick in my mouth. My mind was in a flutter and my stomach had butterflies in it. I kept kissing this cock, and before I knew it, the whole head was in my mouth and I slowly, rhythmically sucked on this dick. Back and forth. I laid back and kept sucking it. I noticed my little dick getting hard. Do I like this?! My eyes closed, and I gently sucked this cock, I found myself drifting off to sleep, but for some reason I couldn’t stop. My small little micro dick hard and dripping with precum as I sucked this monster cock until I fell asleep.

The next morning, I woke up in a startle to the sound of my alarm. Like I had been caught doing something I shouldn’t have been doing. Yesterday felt like a dream. But sadly it was not. The huge dildo lying next to my face as I opened my eyes. I sat up and looked around the room. The beautiful view of the distant ocean welcomed me. I looked at the sexy lingerie I had slept in. I would have died and gone to heaven if I had been in bed with a girl who was wearing this. And sucked my cock until she fell asleep. I guess that will never happen now. I turned off my alarm, and walked over to the contract on my desk. I had to reread it. I had to make sure what I had read was correct. Unfortunate it was. I am legally obligated to become a girl. A beautiful, sexy, slutty, eye-candy girl. I sighed and walked to the bathroom. I sat to pee, without thinking. I guess I was already doing that. My mom would get so mad at me when I was little for getting pee on the seat. So I just sat to pee. I guess I’ve been doing it my whole life. 

I was going to shower but realized I had nothing to wear. I quietly opened the door and gently knocked on Hollies' door. I didn’t want Kayla to see me like this. I don’t know why, it was completely hopeless for her to ever see me as a guy, I'm sure she already didn’t! But I still didn’t want this to happen. Hollie answered the door with a smile on her face. She seemed well awake and was already in the middle of doing her makeup. “Hey girl! How did you sleep?” She said cheerfully. “I slept ok, not much. I guess it was just a lot to take in. You know being in such a new situation and all. I was finally able to relax and eventually feel asleep though!” I said, trying to match her excitement, but I was clearly too sleepy too. “You said you had something I could wear today? I was going to shower, but I thought I’d pick it out first.” Hoping I'd find something kind of masculine in her closet. 

“I know! It’s a lot to take in, huh? I could hardly sleep my first night too! Don’t you worry about that! I’ll pick something tots cute for you and bring it over! You feel free to jump in the shower, we’re running out of time! Oh, and don't do your make up!” She giggled” I guess you don’t have some anymore now, huh? Since the maid took your stuff! So I guess it works out! Our first stop is the salon anyway!” She seemed so happy, I didn’t know if I was happy or dreading the news. I also really worried what she might get me. “Ok” is all I could get out, desperately trying not to show my misery. “I popped by your room earlier to get you to come over and pick something out, but you were still asleep! I’m glad to see our little gift help put you to sleep!” She smiled and winked and she closed the door. 

Oh my god!! She saw me lying there with that huge dildo on my face! I felt so humiliated! I walked back to my room and started to cry as I got in the shower. I can’t believe this is happening to me! Halfway through my shower I heard Hollies' voice! “Hey Jaycee! I got something super cute and fun for you to wear for your big shopping trip today! You’re going to love it! I’ll just lay it out on the bed!” The shopping trip now had a whole new meaning to me. It was going to be any girl's dream, but my nightmare. “Thanks!” I shouted back. Oh no, what the hell did she get me? 

I dried off as quickly as I could and rushed to see what she had laid out on the bed. Satin black thong panties and a matching strapless bra. Next to them was a short strapless leather dress. And on the floor were a pair of black heels. My heart sank. I didn’t want to wear something quite so girly. Or sexy. I sighed and thought about running over to her room, but I noticed she had taken the nightgown she had given me last night, so that wasn’t an option. Plus, I was quickly running out of time. I walked over and picked up the panties. They felt so soft in my hands. I slid them up my hairless legs, and they felt great against my body. I didn’t even seem to mind the part riding up my ass. My “manhood” hardly even makes a bump in them. 

I grabbed the bra and strapped it on. It was a push-up bra, and my little bumps looked more like small perky breasts. I looked in the mirror and realize just how much like a hot girl I looked. I grabbed the dress. The feel of the leather was so smooth and inviting. I noticed the zipper was in the back. It was a small struggle to get it on, but I managed. It fit my body like a glove, I really did look so girly and sexy. I slipped the heels on and noticed it was a little weird walking in them, but I felt like I took to them naturally. 

As I looked at myself in the mirror, Kayla knocked on the door as she let herself in. “Wow girl! You look stunning! Hollie told me what happened to your clothes, but I see she took great care of you! You look fabulous!” She spoke with such cheerfulness. I blushed both from embarrassment and from the genuine complaint. “Thank you, Kayla.” I softly spoke. I really had to be careful not to show my hesitation about my feminization, or I could end up in jail. Today was going to be very difficult. I was just hoping that the first day as a girl would be the worst day.

Kayla told me that Haley was here and ready to start our day. We started to leave, and I felt a little silly just holding my phone and wallet. So Kayla offered me a purse. A small black leather bag that matched the dress. As I walked out to the car, in my leather dress, holding my little purse, my heels clicking with each step, I officially started my first day as a girl. 

I got into the back of the car next to Kayla and Haley started to drive. The ride was mostly filled with small talk. And before I knew it, we pulled up in front of this beautiful luxury salon. Haley asked with excitement, “Ok girl, are you ready for your new look?” All I could do was smile and nod in agreement. We all walked in, and it was unlike any salon I’d ever seen. It was nicer than a five-start hotel! It was beautiful! And so we’re the women working there! The receptionist was perfect in every way. Haley walked up to her to check in, and I just couldn’t help but look around everywhere. I felt very out of place. 

My amazement was interrupted by another perfectly beautiful woman appearing from one of the doors. “Haley!” She yelled. “It’s so great to see you darling!” “It’s always great to see you Allie!” Haley replied just as cheerfully as the two hugged. “Ladies it’s so great to see you too! The girls are ready to help all of you!” Allie looked over at the rest of us. Then she looked right at me. 

“And you! You must be the new girl! You come with me dear!” Her enthusiasm and energy was almost too intense. I had only seen people act this way in movies or tv. I didn’t know people were actually this way! “Oh, Haley’s told me all about you! But I must say dear, you are quite the babe! Haley told me you were single! That just can’t be true! You must be fighting men off you every day! ” She took me by the arm as she spoke and started walking me to the door she had entered from. I looked back at the girls but they were all walking off to another rooms. 

Allie opened the door for me and I walked in as she continued to talk. “Now Haley told me you’re one of my favorite types of girl! One of the ones who’ve chosen to be a girl! I swear you trans women really go for it! You’re often more womanly than most women..” she kept talking as she motioned for me to sit in this beautiful chair. I was surrounded by marble and wealth. It hardly resembled a salon at all. Then suddenly another girl appeared and interrupted Allie. “Hello miss, would you like anything to drink?” I looked at her a little stunned. “Oh, uhh…” I wasn’t sure what to ask for. Allie chimed in. “You can get anything, my love. Coffee, water, sparking or still. Wine, cocktail, whatever you’d like!” 

“Oh, I’m only 18.” I said shyly and still confused. “Who cares about that sweetie! Besides, you’re not driving!” She then looked at her assistant “Get her the special, she’ll love it!” And without any time to interject, her assistant turned around and left. “OK, so Haley and I have already talked, we’re going to give you the Monster energy girl treatment! But before I get started, I need to know if you have any objections to anything? Length? Color? Style? Anything?” She was so energetic it was a little overwhelming. “Umm, not really.” I said quietly with a slight smile. “Great! They sit back, relax, and I’ll get to work! So when did you first start your transition?! You must have been quite young! You look way too perfect of a girl to have ever been a boy…” she just kept talking as she started to play with my hair. 

I was mostly quiet as she worked. I mostly only talked in reply to a question, but I kept my answers short. I was very nervous about what was happening to me. About halfway through, another girl, Scarlett, showed up to start doing my makeup. She asked about my experience and when I told her I had almost none, she was so shocked. Allie explained that I recently transitioned, so I’m new to being a girl. I felt like that wasn’t enough, so I added that I grew up poor, and we didn’t have extra money for makeup. I knew that wasn’t exactly true. I also had no interest in it, obviously. But I did know that even if I had, we really didn’t have the money for it. 

“Well then you must feel like a fairy tale princess with all of this!” Scarlett said with excitement! “Yes, it’s all been quite a surprise. I wasn’t quite sure what I had gotten myself into!” I giggled. They clearly had no idea what I meant. “Well, I’m excited! Most girls have a tone of make-up and skin-care bad habits that are a pain to correct! But you’ll be like a clean slate! Now please pay close attention, you’ll have to recreate my work perfectly!” It was obvious she was serious about her craft. 

I paid as close attention as I could. I had no idea what all went into makeup! It’s so much work!! And girls do this every morning!? This gave me a whole new respect for them! As the girls worked on me, in between the instructions, I learned more about the salon. This is a place where tons of models, movie stars, celebrities, etc go to get their hair and makeup done. They have everything, and they do everything. Allie and Scarlett both gave me their phone numbers and their instagrams so I could get ahold of them any time I had questions, or needed to schedule an appointment. I also learned this place was very, very expensive! This huge makeover was thousands of dollars! And then, on top of that, they sold me make up, skin care, and hair products to do this at home! Another couple thousand dollars just like that! Thank god Monster was paying for all of this! 

The other girls were waiting for me, and Allie call them in to see my transformation. I hadn’t even seen the final result yet. They came rushing in, all very excited about seeing the new me. Their reactions told me I must have resembled a pretty girl. “Oh my god! Girl you’re even prettier than I thought you would be!” Kayla said, covering her mouth as if to hold in her excitement! “Jaycee, you’re beautiful! So incredibly sexy! Wow, I love your hair!!” Hollie chimed in. “You look so good girl! And an absolute bombshell! You’ll defiantly fit right in with the rest of the monster energy girls!” Haley was clearly very satisfied with the results. 

I was incredibly nervous as they spun me around to see myself in the mirror. My mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe my eyes!  There’s no way that was me!! I was completely unrecognizable! I looked like the girl of my dreams! My long blond hair now had a much more feminine cut, and was styled to perfection. My makeup was also perfection! I never got to see the whole look, everything I saw in the small mirror Scarlett had given me was close-up detail work. 

My eyebrows were shaped into a much prettier, girly arch. My eye make up was stunning. My long black eyelash extensions with my dark smokey eyes could have seduced any man alive! My small cute little nose was perfectly contoured, and my skin was flawlessly smooth. My lips were incredibly large and kissable! They looked completely like dick sucking lips! And were covered in shiny lip gloss!! I looked like a doll! I couldn’t believe how pretty I looked! I felt a mixture of humiliation and embarrassment as well as strangely happy to be so pretty! What is wrong with me?   

I was so shocked as to how I looked that I could hardly respond to anyone. As we left the salon it all felt like some weird dream. I was in a haze. We all got back into the car and started off to our next stop. I wasn’t even paying attention to what they said. 

I just pulled my phone out of my purse and stared at myself in the camera. I couldn’t believe this was me I was looking at! The girls kept talking, complementing me on how I looked. I was responding without even thinking. I can’t even remember what we talked about. Before I knew it, we stopped the car outside some building, and it shook me back to reality. 

“Are you ready sweetie!?” Haley said as the girls started to get out of the car. I also got out and noticed Monster Energy in large letters on the side of the building. “Um yes? What are we doing? I’m sorry, I’m just still in shock over how I look! I’ve never had a makeover like this before! I had no idea I could look like this! It’s just really taken me back!” I said as we walked to the building. “That’s ok sweetie! You look gorgeous! I’m taking you to go meet some of our executives. My boss, his boss, and then a few other important individuals. The other girls are just going to hang out, and we will meet them after!” She seemed very excited. “Am I dressed appropriately for this? It doesn’t feel very professional. I feel like I’m dressed a little scandales.” I desperately hoped that somehow I could change my clothes into something less slutty! 

“Oh no you look great! This is exactly how you should look at all times! We’re Monster Energy Girls! We’re supposed to be eye candy sweetie. Sexy and flirty at all times!” She said flirtatiously with a big smile, further demonstrating her point. I hated to hear this. But there wasn’t much I could do about it. “I just wanted to make a good impression.” I said softly, trying to hide my nervousness and my heart break that this is my new life. The other girl left us as Haley and I got into an elevator. “Don’t worry, you look great!” She said as the doors closed.

The ride was quick and over before I knew it. The doors opened to a very fancy office. From behind her desk, a receptionist stood up to greet us. She was absolutely beautiful! She wore a statin white button up top with the top buttons undone to show off her cleavage and the top of her bra. She had a very tight long leather pencil skirt that went down to her very sexy caves and was so tight you could see her straps from her garter belt. Her stocking legs led down to her black patent leather six inch “fuck me” pumps. She looked like she belonged more in a porno than in a actual office. 

“Haley! It’s so great to see you girl!” She said, walking around her desk to give Haley a hug. “Cindy, it’s so great to see you too!” Watching these two sexy girls dressed like sluts give each other a hug like that was so sexy! I had a hard time believing this was real! My little dick started to strain against the tight thong. Thank god my erections are so small and weak that the fabric could keep it contained, or it would had caused a small bump in the front of my short, tight leather dress.

“And you much be Jaycee! Our new Monster girl! And a very sexy girl at that!” She said with a big smile on her face “thank you. that’s so kind of you to say! sorry I’m a little nervous!” I said quietly. “Oh don’t worry doll, they are going to love you! They're already waiting! Go on!” She gestured down the hall and Healy started walking. “Thanks babe! Let’s go clubbing soon!” She said with excitement to Cindy and we walked away. I followed her down a few halls to a big wooden door, my heart pounding. Healy opened it and I followed her inside. I felt like I could hardly move. 

The room was large, the whole opposing wall was one large window. There was a large conference desk by the door, but behind that was a few leather couches, a large tv and a full bar. I didn’t expect how nice everything was. There were several men all sitting and talking on the couches. 

As we entered the room, their attention shifted to us, and they started to get up to meet us. They were all so tall, so well built, and all in very nice suits. They looked like men most women would fantasize about.

“Hey Haley! Great to see you girl!” One guy spoke, his deep voice filling the room. He walked over and gave her a hug. His huge size made Haley seem so small. “It’s always great to see you sir!” She spoke as she hugged him back. Her face slightly blushing. She clearly liked him. “This is Jaycee! The winner of the MEGE! Jaycee this is Greg! He’s my boss's boss's boss!! I actually didn’t expect you to be here today sir!” She blushed more as she spoke. “I happened to be in the building. Jaycee it’s so nice to meet you! You are so pretty! Haley did a great job picking you!” He spoke as he shook my hand. My hand was so small I’m comparison. “Thank you sir! I’m very happy and grateful for this opportunity!”  I hardly squeaked out, my heart racing and I could hardly breath. I felt so small and weak compared to this man, and he looked at me with lust in his eyes.

“We are always happy to expand on our beautiful promo girls! They all look so sexy and keep people looking in our direction. They also keep the guys happy and satisfied, so they can focus on kicking ass at their jobs. I have no doubt that you will meet our standards. Why don't you give us a little twirl.” Greg commanded, his deep voice filling the room. All the other men standing behind him, staring at me with lust in their eyes too. 

I nodded my head and slowly turned around. “Stop.” Some man's voice rang out once my back was to them. I froze in place. “That’s a very nice ass girl, move it a little!” The same mystery voice commanded. My heart racing, these big strong men demanding I turn them on with my body. I DON'T EVEN LIKE MEN!! But I knew I had no choice. I slowly and smoothly wiggled my ass, swaying my hips back and forth, desperately trying to recreate videos I’ve seen of girls doing this. I had no idea how well I was doing, but I just hoped they didn’t hate it, so they wouldn’t fire me and send me to jail! 

I just kept dancing, it felt like it was a long time, maybe a minute or two. No one spoke, and I couldn’t see anyone to even gauge their reactions. Finally, I heard a man’s voice, “Thank you, Jaycee, you can turn around now.” My heart was racing so fast! I slowly turned. They were all staring at me, lust still full in their eyes and they each and a noticeable bulge in their pants! OH MY GOD, THEY ALL HAVE HUGE COCKS!  My eyes widened with shock, I felt gross, embarrassed, humiliated, and objectified. 

Haley spoke up, breaking the silence with her sexy voice, “She's very sexy, right boys?” All the men seemed to agree. “So we have everyone’s approval?” She continued. They all seemed to still be in a trance, they just responded with yes. “Great! Then I’ll take this little slut to go get some sexy, fun, new clothes! We have a tight schedule! We’ll see you all later!” Healy said as she started to practically push me out of the room. I was happy to leave, it felt like if I were to stay any longer something bad might have happened. 

As we walked out the door and down the hall to the elevator, Haley whispered in my ear. “I could tell you were getting very nervous, and I know you’re still a virgin, let alone even sucked a guy off yet! So I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could, most of the time that “interview” gets very, um, “physical” let’s say. I don’t think that’s how you would like to lose your virginity! But we'll help you lose that thing very soon, don't you worry girl!” 

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! I’m so incredibly thankful that Healy was looking out for me. That would have been terrible, but I still wasn't looking forward to having to be sexual with some guy! “Thank you so much Healy! Yeah, I wouldn’t have liked that very much.” I whispered back as we got in the elevator. My nerves shaking from the thought of what could have happened. We met the other girls back in the lobby and walked back out to the car. 

I was shaken up by what had just happened, but that seemed to fade away on our long drive to LA. There was lots of traffic, but the ride was filled with good music and great conversation with the girls. I really felt like I was starting to become their friend. I just fit in with them so well. We were on our way to a shopping trip of every girl's dream, but I knew it was the final step of sealing my fate of becoming a girl forever. This is the final step to make this real.

We arrived at our first stop. We had to park down the street and walk to the shop. I still felt so valuable and noticed all the men checking me out and cat calling at me. I was so humiliated and embarrassed! As we rounded the corner, there in front of the store, were close to a dozen beautiful women who all looked incredibly sexy, and we all dressed scandalously. I knew right away these must be the rest of the Monster Energy Girls.

 As soon as one of them spotted us, they all started yelling and jumping with excitement. They came rushing toward us, the sound of all of their heels clicking was almost overwhelming. They swarmed us with hugs and excited comments to make. It was like being in the middle of a sexy bee hive with all the greetings being exchanged. They all wanted to meet me and introduce themselves to me personally. 

I tried to be as friendly and as enthusiastic in return, but I was torn with the fact that I will be working with these stunning sexy girls that id love to fuck. The fact that I would never be able to to fuck them, but instead be fucking men right along with them broke my heart. I tried to keep myself from totally falling apart as we entered the store. The next few hours were a blur as we went from store to store with these beautiful women swarming around me thrusting outfit after outfit of sexy women’s clothes for me to try on. I don’t know exactly how many clothes and shoes they bought me, but I know that every single thing I would have fantasized about some slut wearing for me to fuck. The whole day just flew by, and before I knew it, we were back at our house and the girls were flooding my room helping fill my closet with my new clothes.

After they all helped me complete my new closet, we had food ordered in, and it was like a huge party but just with those sexy girls. I felt like I just fit right in I got along with all of them so well and if I forgot about the tight leather dress and heels I was wearing, I felt really comfortable with all of them. We all had some drinks and some gossip, and it was actually pretty fun. 

The evening had just flown by and when I finally realized it was after two in the morning I decided to call it a night and head up to my room. Most of the girls had either left by then or found a place in one of the spare rooms or couches to sleep. Six or seven girls were still up when I said goodnight to the rest of the girls. At the top of the stairs, I peered into the spare bedroom and saw five girls sleeping on the same bed, clearly all passed out drunk.  Kayla popped her head out of her room, she was wearing a super sexy nightgown that hardly covered any of her body. “Hey, what did you think of your first girls' day?” She spoke sweetly.

“It was a lot of fun, you girls really know how to party!” I said with a sleepy smile. My feet were killing me from these heels, but I was getting turned on just looking at Kayla in her lingerie. It's my second night here and my second time being this close to a super hot girl dressed like she’s in a porno. I could hardly believe it! “You look so sexy.” I just blurted out, realizing my voice sounded just as girly as all the other drunk girls complimenting each other all night. “Aw thank you so much! I love this outfit. I wear it when I’m feeling horny! If there was a guy here, Id let him do whatever he wanted to me! I’m sure you know the feeling!” She spoke in a quiet, almost seductive tone. It was arousing me so much. It must have been my drunk mind not thinking clearly, but I slurred, “What about me?”  

She seemed too drunk to understand that I was saying that she could let me fuck her. Instead, she seemed to think that I also wanted to get fucked by some guy with her. “That could be fun, us both sharing the same hung stud, taking turns railing us both! Don’t worry, I’m not too selfish, I’m pretty good at sharing, I don’t just totally hog the guy! Rumor has it you're still a virgin?” she smiled and winked at me as she started back into her room. “You better practice with that toy we got you! If you can’t get it all the way down your throat you really won’t cut it as one of us. I’m going to go play with mine. I suggest you do the same. Have fun girl! Good night!” She said in a very sexual voice as she closed her door.

I slowly entered my room, for some reason I was both horrified but also totally turned on by what she said. My little micro dick was leaking precum. I entered my bathroom and started the hot water for the shower. I slipped off my heels and put my hair up into a bun. I took my leather dress off, and admired the smooth feel of it in my hands. I actually kind of liked wearing it all day, the constant feeling and reminder of is sexy and inviting texture was kind of arousing. I see why most of these girls were wearing leather of some kind. It looked super sexy and felt super sexy. 

I got in the shower and carefully washed my makeup off my face. My mind was racing about the whole day, but the words of Haley and Kayla promising my lost virginity in the near future repeated the most. I was terrified and dreading that day. I dried myself off and slipped into bed naked. I reached over and opened the drawer with the massive dildo inside. I picked it up. It now represented the rest of my sex life. The sooner I become ok with that, the sooner my life will improve. But that was a lot to take in. I'm in no way interested in sleeping with a man! I was too tired and too drunk to think anymore. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was asleep.

—Katierosedreams Og Cap

[camels-pen]

a gift (not a burden)

Ao3 Link | Chapter 1 | Chapter 3

Chapter 2: Stay with me to the end

Alabasta came and went. It felt like they’d been there months, though it was nowhere near that long. Vivi and Carue stayed behind, a predictable if saddening outcome. Robin, a scary woman that could snap Usopp’s neck in his sleep, was allowed to join with hardly a thought as was typical with this crew. 

And, worst of all, now that the danger had passed and Vivi’s country was saved, they were left with plenty of down time as they sailed to the next island. 

Plenty of time for all those pesky feelings and thoughts to rear their ugly heads from the depths that Usopp shoved them in. Plenty of time for Sanji to—

Usopp frantically shook his head.

No—No, it was fine. Great, even! He needed the rest from all these dangerous adventures; they were terrible for his heart. That’s why he finished his breakfast in a flash and took over morning watch, afterall. He needed time to himself, away from the crazy monsters on the ship. He wasn’t running from anyone in particular, no, he just needed to… regroup! Yes, that was it. Usopp just needed to regroup. Refocus his strategy. Re-establish his plan.

Usopp stared at the empty notebook in his hand. A seagull cried in the distance.

Okay, so he never did have a plan for this, but how was he supposed to know that Sanji would ever find out?! Usopp had a system! A perfect system! A (mostly) Luffy-proof system!

And it was ruined! All because Sanji had to have magical fingers that made Usopp putty in his hands.

If Usopp weren’t avoiding—er, regrouping, he would give Sanji a piece of his mind for ruining his system. Stupid, beautiful, kindhearted Sanji. Always ruining his carefully concocted plans.

He pressed a hand to his chest, drawing circles in his overalls.

Stupid Sanji.

A cleared throat made Usopp jump, nearly sending his notebook flying out of the crow’s nest.

“Cook’s being insufferable,” Zoro said, taking a seat with his arms behind his head. 

“R-Really?” Usopp laughed, the sound strained. “Well, you’re more than welcome to hide up here with me! Ah, not that I’m hiding. Why would I be hiding? I’ve got nothing to hide, Zoro, what are you talking about? Ha ha ha.”

Zoro gave a deadpan stare. “Like peas in a pod.”

“Hey—”

He settled back against the mast, closing his eyes. “You two just need to talk about your soulmarks and you’ll be fine. ‘Course he’s too busy twisting himself in knots worrying about something new every five minutes.”

Usopp had a moment to feel surprised—to feel utterly shocked at the fact that Sanji was acting like Usopp himself usually did—before shouting, “Wait, did he tell—?!”

“Anyone with common sense could figure it out. Cook just doesn’t have any.”

Usopp sat back, breathing a big sigh of relief. He would’ve rather Zoro didn’t notice—nor anyone else, for that matter—but as long as Sanji stayed ignorant…

Ah, but that ship had sailed, hadn’t it?

Usopp slumped back against the wall. “The whole reason he’s being ‘insufferable’ is because he saw my mark.” He laughed, the sound a bitter, shaky thing. “I’m pretty sure he’d kill me if I tried to talk to him about how his precious woman-loving self was stuck with a man for a life partner.” His hands grabbed a fistful of his pants. “And even if he could get over being soulmates with a man, he’d still have to accept being stuck with someone like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Usopp’s hands tightened their grip. “Usopp, you’ve got it twisted. You’re too good for him, not the other way around.”

“You’re just saying that because you don’t like him.”

“Usopp.”

“It’s true!” He dragged his bandana down over his eyes and whined. “He’s probably kicking holes in the wall just thinking about it and I’m gonna be next!” Oh, how Usopp yearned for Sanji to get knocked out so hard that he forgot everything that happened a couple weeks ago. It wasn’t likely to happen before Usopp got murdered in the near future, but a man can dream.

“Then how about this: if you talk to him and he tries to kick you,”—Zoro flicked part of his sword out of its sheath—“I’ll kill him.”

Usopp slowly put his head in his hands. “Thanks, Zoro. That is so very helpful.”

“I mean it.”

“Yes, yes, you’re always willing to try and kill Sanji.”

“No, I mean,”—Usopp looked up, catching Zoro’s steady gaze—“you need to talk to him.”

A lie sat on the tip of his tongue. Easy and automatic. It was so very tempting, to complain of never before seen illnesses and fantastical wonders. Obstacles so bizarre and impossible to overcome that Zoro would have to let Usopp run away from it all as much as he’d like.

It was right there. Waiting for him.

Zoro still stared.

Usopp sighed, hanging his head. 

—

He didn’t have the time to dwell on it, what with saving Vivi’s country, saying farewell, and welcoming the lovely Miss Robin on their ship. Now that they were back to sailing the Grand Line, however, it all came back full force.

It had to have been Sanji’s mark. It had to be, right? Right. It had to. It had to.

But then, why hide it? Why not tell him from the start? They could’ve talked about it. Could’ve swapped discovery stories. Sanji would’ve showed off his own mark more clearly, let Usopp touch and hold and examine it as much as he wanted.

Did Usopp not… not want him? Think him inadequate somehow? 

Was he disgusted by the fact he was paired with a man? Of course he was, who was Sanji kidding; anyone would be disgusted by that. Men weren’t supposed to be with other men, weren’t supposed to be dainty, weren’t supposed to be homosexual.

Why did the world have to work this way? Why did Sanji have to work this way? To be so tempted by women and men at every turn. To be so disgusting as to infect even his soulmate with such a disgraceful thing. 

Was it just another failure written into his DNA? Something that would follow him for the rest of his life? It was already unbearable before, unacceptable, but now it was suffocating, filling up his lungs as if—

“Sanji, the pot.”

He jumped, cursing as he quickly pulled the smoking pot off the stove, then cursing again as his wrist bumped the burning metal. The pot dropped to the counter with a CLANG as Sanji shook his hand out, quickly moving to run it under cold water.

“Sorry—sorry Robin, dear,” he mumbled, the rushing water nearly drowning him out. He grimaced at the acrid smell filling the galley as he rubbed his wrist under the spray. “Did you want a refill?”

“No thank you, Mr. Cook.” Her eyes flicked once to the countertop, then back to him. “Something on your mind?”

He followed her gaze, a little embarrassed at his rookie mistake, when he noticed a cigarette teetering on the edge of the counter. 

Did he pull one from his box? 

He tapped his breast pocket and found it empty. 

On the edge of his vision, an arm sprouted from the wall, picking up the familiar cardboard from a spot behind the burnt pot. 

Huh. So he did.

He stared at the crushed little thing. 

Unlit and unusable. 

Unwanted and unloved.

A hand found his shoulder. “Mr. Cook?”

He swallowed heavily. “Not… not using my name, like earlier?”

“You didn’t answer the first few times I spoke.”

Sanji hung his head. “Ah, I see. I didn’t mean to ignore you, my dear, I was just…”

A silence fell over them. The hand vanished with the smell of fallen petals.

“Would you like help?”

Sanji stiffened. He should accept—it wouldn’t do to refuse a lady, but—

“With the pot, I mean.”

Sanji breathed a sigh of relief. “No need to worry, I can handle that myself. I had to do it a lot when I was younger. I’m used to it.”

With that, he grabbed a sponge and set himself upon the task. Pot first, spiraling thoughts later.

Pot first. Pot first. Pot first.

“Mr. Cook.”

Just put everything else in a little box like you always do—just shove it in there, ignore it, put it away.

The pot clanged against the counter once more, wobbling back and forth as he registered a strong grip around his wrists, holding them in the air. There were arms sprouted from his elbows, holding each wrist with a tea towel. Belatedly, Sanji registered an itchy burning on his knuckles.

A new hand caught the pot handle. The sponge slipped from Sanji’s grasp with a plop.

“I believe it should cool off first, Mr. Cook,” Robin said. “We don’t want you harming your hands.”

The butter and garlic were a stark, crackling black on an otherwise pristine pot. A mar—a flaw so stark and obvious that anyone could see it despite its vain attempts to hide behind thin metal walls.

“You know, I’ve been told I’m quite good at keeping secrets.”

Patethically thin metal walls. The kind of cookware that ended up with several irreparable cracks and holes when used in a specific environment. 

One of them being polite conversation with a prying lady.

“I’m also skilled with a knife.”

The tension sapped from his body, leaving him nearly limp with relief. He made to refuse again, but paused as that same itchy heat prickled up his hand. 

Robin took up a cutting board.

—

“Okay, just go up and tell him. Just get it over with, get threatened, and then scream for Zoro when he tries to kill you,” Usopp whispered to himself, pacing back and forth in front of the galley door. “You stared down a guy who called himself a god; this is nothing! Just a few words, one mean look, and you’re gone! Outta there. Donezo. Nothing else required.”

He slowly turned his gaze to the door. A glimpse of blond hair had him ducking with a pounding heart.

“O-Or I could forget about all this, pretend it never happened, and hope Sanji eventually moves on from wanting to maim me.” He nodded to himself. “Yes, solid plan Captain Usopp. We’ll tell Zoro it was a valiant effort, but—”

“Tell Zoro what was a valiant effort?”

Usopp froze. Mechanically, he turned just enough to see Sanji’s face and check that the galley door was, indeed, open. “Oh. Hi, Sanji. I did not see you there. I was just doing Zoro a favour with my new dials.” He swiftly turned to leave. “I will stop bothering you now—”

A heavy hand clapped his shoulder. “Hold it.”

Usopp did his best not to squeak. The weight on his shoulder lightened with a sigh. “I’m not going to fillet you, just… come inside. We need to talk.”

Usopp laughed robotically. “Well, you see. Sanji. I really need to finish up that favour for Zoro. So. We will have to talk some other time.”

He was ready to make a break for it then, take advantage of Sanji’s loosening grip to pull out his patented Usopp Dash and cower in the boys’ dorm—hell, maybe even pay up a handful of berri to hide in the girls’ dorm—but then…

“Please?”

Even before seeing his matching mark, Usopp had never been able to turn down one of Sanji’s requests.

He followed Sanji inside, head hung and dragging his feet as if he were off to the gallows. He might as well be, with the fate that was awaiting him the moment he opened his mouth.

Sanji waited for him to close the door before whirling around and tightly gripping his shoulders. Usopp braced himself to get knee’d in the face. 

“I’m a burnt pot.”

A what? “A what?”

“A burnt pot.”

Usopp stared at Sanji. 

Sanji stared back.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“The walls are thin, Usopp.”

“Are you worried someone’s gonna listen in on us?”

“No, I—” Sanji groaned, pulling away to drag a hand down his face. “Look, I’m like a crumpled cigarette.”

Usopp put the back of his hand to Sanji’s forehead. “It doesn’t feel like a fever.”

Sanji slapped his hand away, a scowl on his face. “Will you cut that shit out? I’m trying to be sincere here.”

“Are you?” The words slipped from his mouth without a thought, but Usopp already knew the answer. He saw it written in the deep bags under Sanji’s eyes, the empty mugs and fresh coffee stains on the tablecloth, the way his hands jittered. “Did you sleep at all—?”

“I’m sorry.”

Usopp blinked. “You’re… sorry?”

Sanji looked away. “I must’ve scared you off that time in the bath, right? I get it… and I’m sorry.”

Usopp furrowed his brow. He didn’t remember anything beside his overwhelming panic at the time. “Your face didn’t scare me off, if that’s what you mean.”

“No, it’s—” He made a noise of frustration. “I fucked you up.”

Usopp inched a foot backwards. “Did you kick me so hard I forgot about it?”

“I didn’t kicked you! God,”—Sanji ran a hand down his face—“don’t make me spell it out.”

“If you’re gonna keep talking nonsense, then yes, please spell out whatever you’re trying to say.”

Sanji whined. Honest to god whined. 

Usopp held up his hands. “If it’s that bad, you don’t have to tell me, in fact we can just pretend this never happened and—”

“I’m sorry I turned you gay.”

A slow, rolling anger started to well up inside Usopp. In a low, dangerous voice, he said, “Excuse me?”

“I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember,” Sanji quickly added. “Don’t know when it started, but I’d been doing pretty good ignoring it or at least making sure other people didn’t notice. Everything was going pretty great until you guys showed up at the Baratie. Then all of a sudden it got worse and—and I kept it quiet, no one noticed, but…”

Usopp didn’t want to try to parse what he was saying. He wanted to give him a piece of his mind, tear into him. He wanted to—

Sanji sniffled. He looked about ready to cry.

Usopp deflated with a sigh.

“I’ve never really cared about who I crushed on.” Usopp took a seat at the table, suddenly tired down to his bones. “Guys, girls, people who were neither. The outside never really mattered.” He put his cheek in his hand and circled the edge of an empty mug with the tip of his finger. “You didn’t ‘infect me’ or anything, I’ve been like this the whole time. Besides, weren’t you given the soulmate shtick too?”

“Shtick?”

“You know,”—Usopp waved a hand—“how they’re supposed to be really important to you or really similar or whatever. People love to say it’s all about romance, but it doesn’t have to be, if you don’t want that.”

“What if I do want it?” Sanji blurted.

“Bold words from someone who was just apologizing for ‘turning me gay’.”

“I’m serious, I…” He knelt at Usopp’s side. “Usopp, please look at me.”

He sighed, but obliged. “Don’t see how this is going… to…” Usopp trailed off, surprise filling him at the tear tracks staining Sanji’s cheeks, the hopeful look in his eye.

“When I woke up next to you in the galley the other day and saw burns matching mine—when I finally got to the top of that shitty flying ship and you were covered in new burns and that fucking ‘god’ ruined your escape, I…” He reached out a hand, pausing to leave it hovering between them. Usopp didn’t move. Sanji gently cradled his cheek.. “I was terrified. I thought I’d lose the chance to tell you before I’d figured things out.” 

His eyes pinched. “No. More than that, I was just terrified to lose you, Usopp. I’d live the rest of my life just being your friend if it meant I could still spend every day of it by your side.” He rubbed his thumb over Usopp’s cheek. Softly, tenderly. “But I want to be more than that, if you’ll let me.”

“You haven’t slept.” Usopp put his hand over Sanji’s own. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

Sanji brought his free hand up to Usopp’s other cheek. “Usopp, I know it’ll be hard for you to trust me—hell, I wouldn’t trust me—but please, give me a chance.”

He was forcing himself. He had to be. He was so caught up with the idea of soulmates that he didn’t care who or what he was matched with. He just wanted to blindly follow whatever the universe and adults told him growing up. 

Usopp swallowed around the lump in his throat. “We have time.” Sanji’s brow furrowed and Usopp rushed to add, “Y-You don’t have to force yourself into this just because of a mark. Take your time and think it over.” 

“But… but we’re supposed to—”

There it is, Usopp thought as he plastered on a smile. “We’re already good friends, isn’t that enough?” It had to be enough. “And I’m not telling you to forget about it, just make sure that it’s what you really want.”

A pause. Not long, but long enough. “What about you?”

Usopp waved a hand, laughing like his heart wasn’t splitting in two. “I’ve never believed in all that soulmate stuff. Sure I was curious who had my mark, but that was it.” He shook his head with a sigh, forcing his voice steady. “Don’t know why everyone’s always so caught up on forcing it to be romantic.”

“I… I suppose it’s… possible to have a friend as a soulmate….”

“That settles it.” Usopp pushed himself up from the table and went for the door. “Good talk, Sanji! Let me know when you’ve got an answer.” Please please, let that be never. “I’m going to enjoy the sunshine while it’s still around. Oh, Luffy might barge in the moment I open the door though, he was complaining about being hungry earlier—”

—

“Wait.”

Usopp turned around, still wearing that fake ass smile. Fuck. 

He clenched his fist. “Usopp, if you—”

“Tell anyone I’ll meet the business end of your shoe? I know that much, Sanji.”

Sanji’s lips thinned. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He shrugged. Sanji saw the tremble in his shoulders. “You’ve gotta know what you want—what you really want—before asking me that, Sanji.”

What he wanted? He wanted to be with his soulmate. To—To finally find the soul he was meant to be with, the person who he could love and cherish and dote on as much as he’d like. To find his other half. 

“I know you like the idea of soulmates,” Usopp said. “I get it, I do. But do you like the idea of me?”

Sanji reared back, as if struck. “Usopp, you have my mark—”

“There, see?” His facade cracked at the edges. “You’re not in it for me. You only see your mark on my chest.”

That—no, Sanji wasn’t—he cared about Usopp. They were best friends! Crewmates! Sanji would do anything to see him safe and happy and well fed! What was wrong with exploring things further? With taking a chance at making good times even better? It had nothing to do with marks and soulmates and following a pre-determined destiny.

Sanji wanted to speak those words—or any number of others that would get Usopp to understand, to listen, to wait—but it all dried up on the tip of his tongue, insincere and insensitive.

Usopp’s shoulders sagged, his eyes falling downcast. “Just. Think about it, okay?”

Still knelt in front of the table, Sanji watched as Usopp quietly left the galley, a swell of guilt in his chest and knowing exactly where he went wrong. 

[my-castles-crumbling]

Impressive anon here again!

I’ve just been going through a mini crisis over here and I didn’t think to come here and rant bc I usually use this to talk about gender identity and other crisis’. But this is affecting my sleep now so I shall burden you once more with a new issue ..

So today’s little problem is about a possible crush. I think I have a crush. Yes I know pretty sad of me to be this old and to have never been in a relationship so I don’t even know if this is a crush. But, that’s besides the point.

So, I met this girl at work a couple weeks ago and I was like training her. Side note — I’m a really awkward person but being around her was somewhat easy? Anyway ever since that day, every time I see her we make effort to say hello to eachother (yes I know that’s bare minimum but for me it’s a lot) she even asked me a question about if my skin gets irritated bc my job has reason for her to ask that 😭.

Anyway, today I trained her again — and I had to literally resist the urge to tell her that she is very pretty. And that her voice is so soothing. I mean obviously I wouldn’t say that bc firstly, I hardly know her, secondly, I have no idea if she is straight or not or if she has a partner or anything! And lastly bc I am an idiot and when she asked how she was going I said DECENT! DECENT? I should have said something better than decent???

Ok now my crisis is mainly that idk if this is a crush or not, mainly bc I’ve never really had one… and like what do I do if this is a crush?? And how would I know if she is into me as well? And fuck this is too much :’(

I apologise in advance for this outburst haha as I said I wasn’t going to come on here and rant but I need advice and my friends are all busy and my family would kill me if they knew I might be crushing on a girl so this is really the only place I could come to for this..

Thanks cas xx

Ps - your advice really helps me and I cannot thank you enough for everything you have helped me with <3

Hi hon!

Okay, let’s take a deep breath. Rather than deciding right away if this is a crush or if she likes you too, could you get to know her more? She’s new at your job, I’m sure she wants to at least make friends. Follow her on instagram, ask for her number to text about open shifts. Get to know her as a friend! I think after you do that, you’ll be able to figure out how you feel- and you’ll have time to catch hints about how she feels.

And as far as your family, I’m so sorry. It sucks that they aren’t supportive. But I support you and we’ll figure this out as we go ❤️

[punkscowardschampions]

Ruster pt.2

Buster: Technically, once I’ve left, I won’t be able to control where you look

Buster: but until then

Rio: Until then

Buster: You know I can, your every move if I want to

Rio: I’m not going to deny that you could, how much I could want that

Buster: Certain things are undeniable, especially by this point

Rio: That’s always been how it is

Buster: You haven’t always been capable of [whichever was the most savage self defence move he taught her, cos y’all weren’t concentrating but we did do some]

Rio: Like you need to force me 

Buster: But I do need you to tell me how much you want that, let’s not gloss over what you said

Rio: You felt how much I wanted you the entire time you were ‘attacking’ me

Rio: Do I even have to say anything?

Buster: I told you to talk to me

Rio: We should now, you’re going to have to keep me so quiet when I get there

Buster: What I’ll have to force you to do is stop biting the inside of your mouth, otherwise you’ll be in agony after I leave

Rio: Maybe I want to be

Buster: You want what I want

Rio: I like missing you more when I have reminders

Rio: You bit me first

Buster: You can hurt me

Rio: It upsets me

Buster: It’ll make us even, bite me too

Rio: Okay, you’ll like that sort of hurt

Rio: do I get to bite you wherever I want?

Buster: Anywhere you can reach

Rio: I can get you on the ground and reach wherever I want

Buster: Fighting talk is just that, words

Buster: when you get here, you’ll have to back them up

Rio: Did you teach me well or not?

Buster: You were distracted

Rio: I’m always going to be if you’re my teacher, I hate to tell you

Buster: Which is a reflection on you as a student, don’t question the quality of my teaching

Rio: You should be able to teach even the worst student if you’re as good as you say

Rio: even me

Buster: Oh, suddenly it’s an if

Buster: you said I was good, babe, you should be on your best behaviour for me

Rio: I will be when I get there and you back that up

Buster: We haven't changed that drastically, me or you

Rio: It’s only temporary

Buster: You still love to please me

Rio: It’s my favourite thing

Rio: and I so rarely get to

Buster: You’re my favourite, but I’m never allowed to treat you the way I wish I could

Rio: Treat me that way tonight

Rio: and I’ll make you love me again

Buster: I intend to, because I’ll always love you, and if you’ve ever disputed that, tonight you won’t

Rio: Okay, you won’t be as mad at me, you’ll forget you were

Buster: Don’t forget who I am underneath the anger, okay?

Rio: You’ve not forgotten who I am, could be

Buster: Not for a second

Rio: I don’t want to be a bad person

Buster: Truly bad people hardly concern themselves with whether they are

Rio: Yeah but good people don’t do what I have either so

Buster: Lots of good people make mistakes, Rio

Rio: Can we call it that?

Rio: I kept doing it

Buster: Give yourself a break, you’ve stopped

Rio: I don’t feel like I deserve one but sure

Buster: None of us are perfect, I’m only almost, and I work extremely fucking hard

Rio: It’s hard to be giving your everything and feel like it isn’t worth it

Rio: you see the fruits of your labour, at school, in your sports

Rio: I put all of them first all the time and none of them even liked me, they resented me for it

Buster: You’ll discover something worthwhile to channel your energy into, you’ve got time

Buster: five years to kill

Rio: They are worthwhile

Buster: They aren’t giving anything back, you need to put yourself first

Rio: They’re my family, I’m not going to have nothing to do with them

Buster: I haven’t advised you to fully turn your back on them

Buster: but you’re an individual too, your own person

Rio: You’ve just said yourself, I have no direction

Buster: At our age, that’s allowed, apparently

Rio: Thanks

Buster: I’m the bizarre anomaly for having the amount I do, according to the majority

Rio: It’s not nice having no idea who you are, trust me

Buster: It’s no picnic having such a fixed idea, if that’s any consolation

Rio: You’re only spinning out because that idea is getting challenged though, think about it

Buster: I think about very little else, I assure you

Rio: I’ve promised I’ll stop

Buster: Feel free to break that one, I’m not opposed to being challenged

Rio: You say that now

Buster: I said don’t stop

Rio: Touching you

Buster: Come on, we both know I meant more than that

Rio: I know what you meant

Buster: Take my meaning then

Rio: If you kick me out

Buster: Why would I?

Rio: You did when nan and grandad came over

Rio: and your whole family is there right now

Buster: They’re asleep, they aren’t going to ambush us by coming in for a chat

Buster: it’s an entirely different situation, and unfair of you to keep throwing the previous one back in my face

Rio: It’d be unfair if I had to walk home again, that’s all

Rio: it’s different but it could be worse

Buster: I thought you were going to be making yourself at home in mine

Rio: I want to

Buster: So trust me

Rio: Trust me back

Rio: we’re both trying right now

Buster: All I’m trying to say is, I know who you are and where you want to go

Buster: you do have ambition, you aren’t Nance

Rio: This has made me question everything though

Rio: Things that he’s said, it’s made me think about things I hadn’t given lots of thought to before

Buster: No shit, his goal is to make you question everything but him

Rio: I wouldn’t just blindly agree to anything that he wanted, I must want those things, on some level

Buster: On some level, he’s obviously capable of understanding and appealing to what you want

Rio: I don’t know if it was a thought-out plan like that

Rio: he just wants the things most people do, that maybe I do, I’m not sure

Buster: It doesn’t have to be a calculated move, like you said, people tend to want the same things

Rio: And you said, we won’t be able to have it if we’re together

Buster: Thanks for the reminder

Rio: We can’t forget

Buster: Temporarily, we could

Rio: Yeah, tonight

Buster: Exactly, for tonight

Rio: Yeah?

Buster: Not our first truce 

Rio: Be because we can’t seem to make them last

Buster: By definition they don’t, if the peace between us lasted, we’d need a different word

Rio: Are you testing me?

Rio: I’m sober now but still had too much of a day to be clever

Buster: Teaching isn’t my chosen profession, perhaps that’s why you think I’m awful at it

Rio: Did I say awful?

Buster: You didn’t say anything, for quite a while

Rio: I wasn’t going to

Buster: Ever speak to me again?

Rio: Okay, I wasn’t being that dramatic

Rio: but not today, it seems like it ruins everything when we do

Buster: What we can’t do causes the problems

Rio: Yeah, but we’ve got [however long now] to do whatever we want, as long as it’s quiet

Buster: I want you to know the longest truce in history was designed to last 28 years but ended after 3, hopefully that’ll restore your confidence

Rio: Wow

Rio: you’re a complete nerd

Buster: Once our five year deadline lapses, we’ve beaten those embarrassing odds

Rio: Of course you’re turning it into a competition too

Buster: That’s what life is, from the literal biological beginning

Rio: And you having to share the trophy, awkward 

Buster: Hilarious

Rio: Just a fact, babe

Rio: you didn’t even exit first

Buster: No, the fact is, I was trying to cheer you up and you’re testing me on how civil I can remain in order to win

Rio: It’s insulting if this is the first time you’ve considered how long five years is, like

Buster: I’ve considered how long it is in every measurement there is, if you’d like to test me on that instead

Rio: I don’t want to think about it now

Rio: all we have is time to think about that

Buster: Think about how [her ETA to his house as an approx again] isn’t long at all

Rio: Are you coming to get me?

Buster: If I seriously was testing you, I’d insist you sneak in

Rio: I remember the way

Buster: I’ll hold your hand if you want me to

Rio: I always want that

Buster: Okay

Rio: We can run

Buster: Where to?

Rio: I meant to your room, if you were worried I’d distract you before we got there

Rio: but we could do that too

Buster: I’m not worried, regardless

Rio: You aren’t

Rio: you don’t think I could?

Buster: You’re going to be a good girl, that’s what I think

Rio: I’m not always, you know

Buster: False

Buster: with me, you are

Rio: You know why

Buster: We both do

Rio: I hate you being upset and disappointed with me

Buster: I’d rather you didn’t make a habit of it

Rio: Don’t you find it hard, behaving all the time?

Buster: The things that are difficult are also the most rewarding

Rio: Reward me

Buster: Behave and you will be

Rio: I will, whatever you say

Buster: Do you promise?

Rio: I promise, you can test me

Buster: Starting now, say it, as quietly as you can

Rio: [do that, being so quiet for once, this driver is welcome]

Buster: [send your own voice note, ordering her to do it quieter, by saying that single word, just to say it because it’s giving when he said harder when she was touching him, we all know it, won’t truly be happy until y’all are mouthing words to each other in person]

Rio: [doing it again and it’s giving you probably can’t hear over the car and road sounds except for your voice rising on one part of the phrase because you’re !! at him telling you what to do]

Buster: [‘perfect’ no need to say it as another voicenote except to give her shameless praise and for the competition of how quiet you can both be because he’ll really giving his all to this in a way his loud ass won’t be able to when she does show up, basically just a breath more than a word]

Rio: That’s how you sound, fuck

Buster: How you make me sound, always

Rio: You’re not going to be able to touch me now

Buster: I need to touch you

Rio: I can’t believe I’ve touched you, it doesn’t feel real

Buster: No-one else’s touch feels remotely real in comparison, even my own

Rio: That’s because you’re no one else’s, not even your own

Buster: Which is why I’ll never belong anywhere except with you

Rio: You feel like home when you hold me

Buster: I could tell letting go would be indescribably painful, that’s the only reason I did so quickly

Rio: I know that logically

Rio: I don’t know how to act like it doesn’t hurt in the moment

Buster: I’m yet to perfect the act myself, despite practising often

Rio: Count to 100 instead

Rio: or as high a number you can get to, better still

Buster: Sometimes, in the moment, I’m just wrong, end of story

Buster: I should’ve held onto you, kept looking at you, everything I didn’t do

Rio: We’re even

Rio: it’s not your fault, we only make sense when we’re together and we’re not allowed to be

Buster: After tonight we will be, I’m going to make it all up to you

Rio: Just kiss me again, I need your tongue in my mouth

Buster: You taste like [something which is nothing to do with all the drinks she had and is distinctly her coded and peak romance]

Rio: Really

Buster: Truth

Rio: You feel so big in my mouth that I want to choke, truth

Buster: Your eyes got so big when I choked you

Rio: I didn’t know I could love anything as much as you pinning my wrists 

Rio: I want to be bound by you, to you, leave fingerprint bruises

Buster: You are bound to me

Rio: That’s why I want it to show

Buster: It already does, everywhere you go

Rio: Good

Rio: you should be with me everywhere I am

Buster: Don’t you feel me?

Rio: I did before we kissed, touched, did anything

Rio: it’s only gotten worse

Buster: It’s only gotten better, babe

Buster: and you don’t know the half of it

Rio: Okay, better is as insufficient a word to describe it, yeah

Rio: It’s absolutely tortuous 

Buster: I am torturing you not letting you scream, you should warn the driver and then get the urge out of your system

Rio: And run the risk of him having a heart attack and crashing?

Buster: Aim the sound out of the window instead of directly at him

Rio: It isn’t for him so

Rio: fuck it

Rio: [do that like it’s just a woohoo party energy nothing to see here driver lol but we know]

Buster: No, fuck you

Buster: because that was

Buster: I’m speechless, actually

Rio: Prove it

Buster: [a voice note where he’s just breathing in the most !! way ever because trying to be completely silent]

Rio: Is it embarrassing how much your silence gets to me, always has, if in a different sense

Buster: I wouldn’t identify how I’m feeling as mortified, but I suppose there’s room for confusion with the colour I’ve turned

Rio: I’ll show you if you show me

Buster: Deal

Rio: [send your own blushing picture because you would’ve been from thinking about him but then you have just screamed out the window so you’re feeling even more 🥺]

Buster: [send yours now because you were blatantly waiting for hers first knowing she’ll be red post scream, cos you’re paler, soz hun and so feel like yours is automatically more dramatic as a result, plus you’re a boy and not supposed to blush omg (soz again you are your father’s son, in just this one way lol, and he was going red always on the baze re-read I did lol) so it feels like y’all are about even to him, regardless of whether you are or not]

Rio: I love you so much

Buster: Prove it

Rio: [say it out loud]

Buster: Say my name too

Rio: [do because you can when this driver don’t know who you are or who he is, the casual freedom only slightly distracting from the !! energy]

Buster: How good did that feel?

Rio: Incredible

Rio: you’re going to have to do it next time you’re alone

Buster: In America, every day will feel like that

Buster: it’ll genuinely be the land of the free for us

Rio: We’ll be insufferable 

Buster: We’ve suffered enough, everyone else has to take their turn, I’m afraid

Rio: You’re right this time

Rio: we’ll have earnt it and then some

Buster: I’ll make sure I truly deserve you

Rio: You couldn’t do anything to not

Rio: I’m meant to be yours

Buster: I did, but no more mistakes

Rio: Nothing

Rio: I’m serious

Buster: So am I

Buster: I’m not entitled to you as a given, no matter what or however big of a cunt I act, I’m not ever taking you for granted just because we’re soulmates

Rio: But I’m not going anywhere

Rio: say you’ll stay too, no matter how much of a bitch I am

Buster: [do a voice note again, to literally say it, saying ‘forever’ as the loudest whisper you’ve done so far because nothing to prove about how quiet you can be and you really want her to hear it]

Rio: [say it back, sounding so emosh because we are, not quite crying in the club but we could]

Buster: [saying her name as loud as he dares while still very much being a whisper and therefore not loud at all, it’s the thought that counts because she got to say his and he doesn’t wanna wait until he’s alone, instead he wants her to hear all the feeling he’s likewise putting into this]

Rio: What did that feel like?

Buster: Like, if I look outside you should be the one waiting for me, instantly brought to my doorstep by how badly I want you to be standing there

Rio: [tell him how close you actually are]

Buster: [count to 100 like she said, stopping there so you aren’t just counting the entire time until she gets here lol]

Rio: 😍 Sexy nerd

Buster: [not you whisper reading a passage of your law book you mentioned earlier like okay if you want me to be a nerd I’ll be a nerd lol lol, but really you’re just living for being able to send this girl this many voice notes and the way it’s reminding you of y’all’s phone call era]

Rio: Jesus, that’s not fair

Buster: Life isn’t, you’re [however far away she is]

Rio: You’re going to lose your voice reading to me all night, even whispering

Buster: You’re going to lose your mind at what I’m really going to do to you all night

Rio: I can find it when you’re gone, I don’t need to think about any of this

Buster: You can share mine, we’re twins

Rio: I missed being this close

Buster: I need you closer

Rio: Not knowing everything that’s happening in your life feels wrong, I’ve been there the whole time, I can’t just stop caring now

Buster: You haven’t lived without me, no-one should expect you to

Rio: I won’t do it

Rio: You mean so much more to me than just one label was ever going to cover

Buster: Cover me in them, I’ll be everything

Rio: I just like you more than anyone else who could even attempt to fill the roles

Buster: I love multitasking, you know that

Rio: I love being your twin

Rio: and soulmate

Buster: You’re perfect for me, even if we don’t measure up to that high of a standard when we aren’t together

Rio: Nothing else makes sense, never mind considering anyone else

Rio: all I know how to do is be with you, without turning into someone I’m not

Buster: Living in this bullshit postcode is already turning me into someone else, without you I’m fucked

Rio: We get to decide

Rio: not to let anyone or anything change us, sway us

Rio: we know what we want, what’s right and good 

Buster: You’re right, and good

Rio: I want to see you happy, be happy with you

Buster: I don’t want to be the cause of your sadness ever again

Rio: Tonight will make you forget that fight ever happened

Rio: I swear, our shared brain will have no other thoughts 

Buster: My hand is shaking at the thought of being able to touch you

Rio: I’m a tiny bit scared

Buster: Breathe

Rio: [send him a lil vid of you trying but also asking ‘what if I’m not quiet enough?’ ‘cos we know even that breathing feels loud because hyperaware of everything rn]

Buster: [a voice note to say ‘deeper’ the same way he said harder and quieter before, it’s how y’all be flirting but also genuinely he does want her to do some deeper breaths and calm down and she’ll listen to his daddy energy instructions]

Buster: I’ll keep you quiet if you can’t be

Rio: Your hands can be wrapped back around my throat and mouth if you need to

Rio: [but once you have managed to at least comparatively slow it a bit, send the evidence]

Buster: And when my hands are busy elsewhere, there’s always my pillow, don’t worry

Buster: [send her a demo of you muffling yourself with said pillow as you said something therefore incoherent, like see]

Rio: I don’t worry when I’m with you

Rio: your hands are the safest place for me to be

Rio: just promise you’ll remember all the things you can’t say to tell me later

Buster: I’ll call you, the first chance I get

Rio: I don’t want anyone else’s name on my calls list

Rio: I only have your number, on the phone you gave me

Buster: Do you have it with you?

Buster: I want to completely fill the memory with pictures of me

Rio: Yes, I didn’t want anyone to be able to reach me, I’m entirely yours

Rio: I’m obsessed with you, you should look at my search history whilst you’re there

Buster: [show her yours rn because it’s mutual sis]

Rio: So you’re mine and I need the world to know right now

Buster: So what are you daring me to do?

Rio: [send him a picture that’s giving risque but still dressed from the backseat of this uber]

Rio: post me on your secret account

Buster: [do plus the audio of her screaming because that isn’t giving away who she is but it’s being even more extra than she asked you to be therefore he must]

Rio: [comment from your secret account being blatant and extra, of course]

Buster: [send her a pic of you with the same energy but obvs from your bed that she can post on hers once y’all are done having a flirty exchange on those secret accounts]

Rio: [and do being the most possessive about claiming him because who can stop you]

Rio: You’re perfect, everything about you

Buster: [y’all are both being feral as hell on these secret accounts atm because you have to show some slight restraint in being quiet when she gets here, we love to see it]

Buster: I’m obsessed with every single thing you’ve done and are intending to do, all the facets of your personality that make up who you were, are and could be

Rio: The fact you haven’t even touched me properly yet and every inch of me is yours

Rio: if I have a soul that’s yours too, your name comes out of me like a prayer

Buster: In a hypothetical where I believed I had a soul, your name would be written on and inside of it, layered if necessary, so each inch is appropriately covered

Rio: How do you think of the most perfect things to say

Rio: every time

Buster: You’re the love of my life, you would be every time, in another hypothetical where we’re living more than this one

Rio: I’ll make sure whatever God is in charge lets you into heaven, regardless of the atheism

Rio: we’ll be together whatever

Buster: I’m in charge of the only heaven you’re visiting for the foreseeable future

Rio: You’re the kindest, I’m not worried

Buster: I’ll let you stay there, almost indefinitely

Rio: Please

Buster: Let me hear you say it again

Rio: [do, whispering again although you do not need to, gotta get in some practice]

Buster: Good girl

Rio: Fuck

Rio: maybe my favourite thing you call me

Buster: What about baby?

Rio: Oh

Rio: well, that does change things

Rio: not as easy a list as I thought

Buster: And isn’t angel your favourite? I could’ve sworn you liked that one the most

Rio: 😫

Buster: [not you going through the list of every pet name you’ve ever called her in the same vein of oh but what about … purely to remind you both of them all and how many there have been, I simply can’t remember and I’m not going to go re-read at this o clock and check]

Rio: Okay, okay, I love everything you call me

Rio: and could call me

Buster: You probably wouldn’t need three guesses for which tops the list of everything you call me

Rio: I doubt it but I still plan to take all night

Buster: Take the rest of my life, I’m not going anywhere

Rio: I like your name, how much I can say it right now

Buster: Okay, take that as well, the half you haven’t said yet, at least

Rio: [say his full name like that’s casual lmao, you can hear the heart eyes]

Buster: [not you saying hers but giving her your last name, boy you better stop, you’re too sober for this]

Rio: [not you muffling another scream with your hands because you don’t have a pillow available] 

Buster: [the girls are feral, meanwhile we don’t know if y’all are gonna legally be allowed to get married in your era so sad if true, but it’s giving by deed poll even if you’re not because giving you his name regardless, catch this boy muffling a MOAN with his pillow and sending her that audio]

Rio: [mhmm, we only saw it’s being discussed but who can say about anything really, y’all will live your lives regardless and we are living right now honey]

Rio: You mean that

Buster: Yes

Rio: We could have the same name

Buster: We should, we’re family

Rio: None of us have it, I don’t know why we have my dad’s, truly

Rio: I didn’t question it before, wouldn’t have but now

Buster: I don’t know why your dad first named you either, but I’m glad he did

Rio: At least with me, she didn’t know he’d not have the interest, and he must’ve to begin with, to name me

Buster: I’m looking forward to finding out what the new baby will be called, he’s undeniably interested

Rio: Do you know what his kids are called?

Buster: No, but go ahead

Rio: [tell him those buck wild names]

Buster: Wow

Rio: [tell him what they all mean to give some context otherwise a lot of that means nothing to you lol]

Rio: Some of them sound crazy to us but they all have meaning and thought behind them, most men don’t care 

Buster: [tell her some of the wildest posh kid names you’ve heard at school or from your friends which sound crazier and have less meaning, like it’s okay johnny we’ve heard worse]

Rio: Wow

Rio: I think being the only person someone will ever meet with a name is kind of cool though

Rio: we can’t all be [whatever is giving the most common girl’s name in your era and in Ireland]

Buster: Same, I’d hate to be [the most common boy’s name rn in your area]

Rio: I’d hate that too

Rio: how am I meant to moan that, when I can

Buster: Don’t, not even as a joke now

Rio: I wouldn’t

Buster: By the way, you can moan mine now, quietly

Rio: Oh can I?

Buster: The driver knows you’re mine, and he shouldn’t hear you, if you’re playing by the rules

Rio: You did specify quietly 

Buster: Where are my manners, do you need help?

Buster: [and telling her what do to do to make her moan quietly, which is giving touching herself the way he got her to practice for their cockblocked hookup with a replica, not at all casually giving her DETAILED written (thankfully for the driver’s sake) instructions of how he’d do it, because the telling alone would probably get her even if she doesn’t follow through on doing it in this car rn]

Rio: [send this audio of you being quiet but nowhere near quiet enough if you were actually in the house because you are not capable of being is very much the vibe after this]

Rio: I need you to do more than hold my hand

Buster: We’re a team, you can ask me for anything

Rio: Can you carry me

Buster: Easily

Rio: Will you

Buster: I’d carry you the walking distance to America, never mind up to my room

Rio: I’m not spoiling America for you, am I?

Buster: You’re saving me, from myself, from everything my mum is scared might happen, from being lonely in yet another place

Rio: As long as you know you can hit every cliche you want to, I’m not holding you back

Buster: I want you to hold me

Rio: I’m being stupid

Buster: You’re not, we do need to talk about the logistics more, just not yet

Rio: Later’s good

Buster: Tonight isn’t about the future, it’s about addressing the past, what happened earlier, on [the date of the mcvickers cockblock], and didn’t but we wish had

Rio: We both want the same thing

Rio: and we’re not allowed to talk tonight anyway

Buster: I’m going to make you cum so many times you break all the rules, including no talking

Rio: God, Buster

Buster: Exactly like that, yeah

Rio: What happened to being careful?

Buster: I’ll be careful so you don’t have to

Rio: Wow

Buster: Tell me the personal best I’ve got to beat, the record number of times you’ve ever cum thanks to me in one night

Rio: [tell him the number] 😳

Rio: I woke up the next day, still in the position I’d passed out in

Buster: What position was it?

Rio: [describe the shameless way you were just (thankfully not) found dead because there was clearly nothing subtle about what you were doing, is the point]

Buster: Well, fuck

Buster: I’m so proud of you

Rio: We hadn’t spoken for [giving one of your longer gaps, even if when you did speak it was arguing, this is giving no contact vibes hence we simply had to go feral]

Buster: I’m disadvantaged in the numbers game, but mine is [still a RIDICULOUSLY high number for being a boy and not able to cum as often]

Rio: Shit though, when, how, tell me

Buster: [tell her when it was, clearly it was also a no contact kinda time and something happened to really likewise send you feral, maybe she got her first serious boyfriend ever, something like that, because he is that bitch, so jealous]

Rio: [I was likewise thinking of something being posted that sent you over the edge so tell him that, great minds lol]

Rio: You owe me [the number minus one as you made him cum earlier] then

Buster: You owe me [her number + 5 because the counting to five thing earlier why not pick that number teehee and he needs to really top it not just meet it/go one over]

Rio: Take me back to London with you

Rio: I’ll fit in your suitcase, promise

Buster: You fit in my lap, and you’ll be able to breathe marginally better

Rio: I miss you already

Rio: you need to take me home, let me keep you company

Buster: Come home, what’s taking this long?

Buster: I tipped him generously to avoid having to play an added waiting game

Rio: You’re impatient but I’m not far 

Rio: your lap won’t be empty much longer

Buster: I’ll carry you from that point then, say where and consider it done

Rio: [tell him where you are]

Rio: am I asking him to stop?

Buster: [tell her wherever you’ll end up meeting her in the ‘middle' by way of you setting out rn this sec and this car still driving to yours, deliberately sounding like a maths question in an exam lol because she likes maths, could’ve just let this poor man drive her there as arranged but you have no chill]

Rio: [got interrupted here, can come back or redo]