#And when we go I'll try not to be so slow

[hwaslayer]

wildfire (cs) | thirteen.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 7k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing, we catch a lil moment with belle 🙄, crying .. lots of crying, just lots of hurt and heartache, more misunderstandings, we see a bit of parents from both sides - esp san's dynamic with his father, flashback scene with smut: oral (f. receiving), 🤠, praises, lots of sweet kisses and tender moments, some nipple play, soft and slow smut!!

—a/n: fic announcement soon!

If the texts yesterday afternoon weren't nerve-wracking enough, it was the downtime in between the texts and seeing San that had you ready to curl up in a ball out of anxiety; fetal position, rocking back and forth as an attempt to rid the feeling. San hadn't texted much after deciding the two of you should talk the following day, and you never questioned why he couldn't just see you the same night he had told you he needed to talk. 

you: 😞 you didn't even look my way when you walked back into the office and i haven't heard from you all day.

you: i hate how all my papers and presentations are due this week. plus ppl have been weird, idk. i just wanna cuddle 😭

san: i'm sorry. it's just been a day.

you: that's never stopped you before... ☹️ what's wrong, san?

san: we should talk, baby.

you: oh.. okay. so let's talk tonight? i just need to finish up a few things, and i'm halfway done on most of my papers and presentations. i think they can wait a bit.

san: no, you should finish up. i've got a ton of things to catch up on so tonight won't work. can we do this tomorrow? i'll come pick you up once we're both done in the lab.

you: are you sure?

san: mhm. i'm sorry again, it really just has been kinda all over the place today.

you: it's fine, san. as long as you can promise me we're okay?

san: we will be. i'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? try to take breaks and rest well.

You accepted it, even if it felt excruciating and painfully long.

These things never turn out well, and you knew your case wasn't gonna be an exception. You were afraid for it, you were nervous and you were wondering what San might do to try and lessen the blow of whatever was coming.

He wouldn't hurt you, right?

He meant it when he said you two would be okay, right?

Even if he tried to be as reassuring, everything about it felt off and cryptic. None of it felt like sunshine and rainbows, none of it felt like the San you felt in love with. None of it felt like the giddy excitement, the comfort, the safety you had come to know and love. 

You hated automatically assuming the worse, but nothing was preventing you from doing so— not even San.

Today was actually pretty uneventful, nonetheless. Despite the wait and silence from San, you felt like you managed to get by in one piece. It still felt like everyone was looking at you; like they had all known your deepest, darkest secrets. Like they had been following your every move, especially while you were with San. It still felt awful, but you had learned how to push aside because people could talk and assume— but they would never know the true story.

And who knows? Even if you tried to explain yourself, they wouldn't get it.

You didn't really owe that explanation to anyone, you think.

The only other weird part about your day was when you had tried to help Belle earlier since you had some downtime and she brushed you off completely. She had been avoiding you, and it was pretty obvious she was letting the talk get to her head. She didn't maintain eye contact with you, she didn't acknowledge you, and she didn't talk to you the way that she used to.

—FLASHBACK

You walk into the lab, passing by a few of your labmates with a tiny, toothless smile etched on your lips. There was no Sunwoo around, but there was Belle; yet, she still hadn't turned to acknowledge your presence. You had gotten through your to-do list for Sunwoo's project, leaving you with extra time to spare today. You hadn't been able to dedicate a lot of your support to Belle lately due to all those technical issues you needed to troubleshoot for your project with Sunwoo, and you figured this would be a good time to make up for it.

Unless she had other plans.

"Hey Belle!" You come to her desk, pulling the courage from deep down within you to approach her first. She looks up at you, a brow cocked up before returning her attention to her laptop. "I have some time to help—"

"No thanks, I'm good." She doesn't look at you. "Just so you know, I don't really need extra help anymore. I've got everything figured out already."

"Oh, okay." You step away from her desk, fiddling with your fingers while you stand there looking dumb. "Are you sure?" She pauses her typing before finally looking back up at you with her brows knit tightly together. 

"I just said it, didn't I?"

"I-I'm sorry, I just wanted to make sure since I had the time and I haven't been able to help you out as much cause of Sunwoo's project."

"Why don't you go and use your extra time with Professor Choi since you've been doing that anyway?" She gives you a look that settles in the pit of your stomach. You don't say anything to her, even as she shuts her laptop close and stands— brushing past you to get to one of the behavior rooms. You feel a bit hurt, and your other labmates aren't even paying attention to the whole thing; or, maybe they are, and they just don't wanna say anything to dig deeper into the wound. 

So, you turn on your heel with your head down, returning to your desk to continue your data analysis in silence.

—END

You try to tell yourself that it doesn't really matter— that you didn't need anyone's reassurance or validation. It hurt despite not being super close to Belle, but you knew she thought of you in a different light now and that wasn't really fair. You could see how it'd look problematic on the surface, but you thought she knew you better than that.

Guess it's also your fault for assuming.

When it's time for San to pick you up at your usual pick-up spot, you grab your keys and head out— still not having changed out of your outfit for the day. You try to take slow steps to not seem too eager, but you can't help it when you see San parked in his usual spot. This time though, he isn't watching for you in the rear view mirror. 

"Hey." You swing the door open and slide in. San gives you a small smile, followed by a:

"Hey." He watches as you dip forward to kiss him on the lips like you always do, and he surprisingly takes it. You were getting ready for the rejection or some kind of pull back; but, to San's own knowledge, he did it because he knew it'd be the last time he could savor it.

"You okay? Were you able to finish everything you needed to?"

"Uh, yeah. Think so." He says with a subtle chuckle before driving off. 

"Are we going to your house?"

"Thought we could sit at the view and talk, if that's okay with you?" You slowly nod, keeping your eyes trained on San as he drives.

"Okay. You're scaring me, Sannie." He shakes his head. 

"Please don't be."

"Then why couldn't we just talk about this like normal at your place?"

"Y/N, you trust me, right?" He quickly looks at you as he comes across a red light. You silently nod, just in time for him to drive off and continue onto the destination. "Okay, so trust me." He's still being so cryptic and distant that you don't even know how to respond. You quietly sit back in your chair and watch the surroundings pass you by, trying to settle the queasiness you feel building in your stomach.

These things never go well, and your case doesn't seem to be a one-off.

San continues to remain silent as he drives the rest of the way to the view, the music softly filling in as background noise that's enough to distract you. When he pulls into the small empty side lot and parks his car, he lets out a sigh and sits back.

"How was your day today?" He asks softly, still avoiding contact with you.

"It was okay, I guess. Better than yesterday."

"That's good."

"San." You adjust your position so you're looking directly at him, body facing him. "What is it that you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't know where to start."

"You have to start somewhere." He sighs again. "You know, whatever it is, you can tell me. We can figure this out together." You raise your hand to cup his cheek, almost somewhat of a gesture to force him to look at you. And for a minute, you feel him relax under your touch. You can tell he wants to turn and kiss the palm of your hand like he usually does, but he doesn't. "Sannie—"

"We should stop this." Your mouth slightly drops even though you don't know what to say. Your eyes widen, your touch turns cold. You retreat your hand while you let the response sink, San still keeping his gaze out of the window because he truly can't dare to look at you right now.

He'll fold.

He'll forget all about this and risk everything for the both of you.

He shouldn't.

"W-what?"

"We need to stop this, Y/N." He finally looks at you and his gaze feels like an icebox. Everything feels so cold and distant, even if it's supposed to be a front; it's working, and it's fucking you up completely.

"All of a sudden? I-I thought we were fine, what happened? What did I do wrong?" He shakes his head.

"Nothing. It's not anything you did, I'm just trying to be realistic here."

"Realistic? I thought you didn't care about the outside noise?"

"We're only prolonging the inevitable, don't you get it? Everything is going to come crashing down on us whether we like it or not. No matter how hard I try to stop it, this is what it'll eventually come to." You don't really understand where he's coming from or what he's getting at, but it's too late— you feel the tears steadily streaming down your cheeks.

Then, you're sobbing into your hands and you feel pathetic. But San feels terrible, he hates this. He doesn't wanna do this but he's conflicted between right and wrong, between being selfish and letting you go. "San, why?"

"Y/N, please hear me out on this, okay?" He's barely able to answer.

"Why? You ask him again. You cry in his passenger's seat, wiping it away with your sweater sleeves. "You said I could trust you, a-and that you wouldn't hurt me because you didn't care about anyone else."

"I need you to understand that I'm doing this because I care about you."

"But, I love you." San shakes his head as tears streak his own cheeks.

"We're being too selfish." He looks at you. "I am. I'm being too selfish and I don't need this to ruin things for you more. I need to put you first—"

"Why do you get to decide what that looks like for me, San?" He doesn't respond. "So, you don't want this?" He lets out a shaky sigh. "Us?"

"That's far from how I feel and you know it."

"Why can't you just say it back? Why can't we just let this be? I don't care—" You tug on his arm and he grips your hand before shaking his head.

"Because this is already hard as it is. Y/N, listen to me." He pleads, cupping your cheeks. He finally looks deep into your eyes, his thumb gently caressing the surface. The life in his eyes are gone. The glow, the stars. Now, his eyes are dull. They're holding back. They don't show you anything. "We should stop. We need to. Namjoon and the dean are discussing your future at the school, and I need you to keep going in this program. I need you to keep going forward even if that means I can't be right there with you every step of the way. You deserve to be here and you deserve to finish this until the very end. You've worked so hard to get here, and I refuse to let them lose out on you simply because of me."

"This makes no sense to me. Why do we have to do this? We can just be more careful and plan better. We can just—"

"I'm trying to protect you." 

"Protect me? From Namjoon and the dean? Or are you trying to protect yourself?"

"I don't give a damn about me, Y/N!" He's a little angrier with this response but you know it isn't directed towards you. It's towards Namjoon. The dean. Yunho and Iseul. This whole fucked up situation. "I'm always gonna put you first. It's always been about you and it'll always be about you." You cry a bit harder at his answer, unsure of what to make of this entire thing. You don't know if San really means this or if he is just trying to protect you. You don't know what to do, you don't know if you should keep trusting him the same way. 

You don't know if you can, and that's probably because you're blinded by all the overwhelming emotions you're feeling right now.

The both of you sit in this thick silence, your cries now filling the space while San tries to muster up the last bit of his energy to try and make you feel better— to get you to understand this better.

It's not that he wants to, he has to.

"I don't—" He swallows thickly. "I don't wanna do this but I have to. You have to understand." He says at a whisper, more tears streaming down his red-stained cheeks. "You have to understand, baby. Please." He begs. "I don't want them to do anything to you and I don't wanna jeopardize your future. Just listen to me. We have to do this." He leans forward to cup your cheeks and wipe your tears away with his thumb.

"No, we don't." You almost whine, but all San can do is shake his head and sit back in his seat.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I have to do what's best for you." His voice shakes. "I really am so sorry, sweetheart." He answers lowly, wiping his remaining tears before retreating back into his shell and showing off his cold demeanor for the remainder of his time with you. "I should get you back."

"I should've never trusted you. I should've known this was all too good to be true. You didn't care." You cry, repeating all this nonsense to try and get him to hurt the same way as you somehow. Because he'll never understand. Everything had led up to this and you were still unprepared for this. Even though you knew you'd be here at some point, nothing would have ever prepared you for the way your heart drops to your stomach; the way you feel nothing but thunder and rain.

Blue and grey.

He does, though.

In fact, he's probably hurting the most because he had to pull the trigger and let you go.

He hates it. He fucking hates it. 

He's trying to drown out the rest until he gets you back to your building because he can't take it. He can't take hearing you cry anymore, he can't take hearing you say these awful things because you're angry at the moment. He hopes that you'll see where he's coming from eventually because all he's ever wanted to do was protect you and keep you safe.

All he's ever done was care about you, and you only.

All he's ever felt was love for you, and you only. You showed him what love was like again and he'll never take that for granted.

This was him showing you love. He needed to put you first.

"I care about you more than anything. I'm trying to do what's best—"

"Without involving me? Deciding for me? Yeah." You wipe away at your cheeks once more before unbuckling your seatbelt. "Whatever San, save it." You tell him before swinging the door open and stepping out. "You were just trying to protect me. I get it."

"Baby, don't be like that. Please don't make this harder than it already is. I would never intentionally hurt you. You know this." He tries to reach for your hand, but you move it away.

"You don't get to call me that anymore." You roll your eyes. "Anyway, goodluck, San." Is all you say before slamming his door shut and storming off. You begin to cry to yourself again, feeling sorry for yourself and stupid. You know deep down that San was only trying to do the right thing and that he was trying to protect you. But, right now, you're angry, you're sad, you're upset. You feel empty and betrayed and you just need to feel this out in order to let it pass.

This too shall pass.

When you head upstairs, you quickly pack up a few things, along with your laptop and other school-related necessities before locking up and heading to your car. You feel a migraine coming on, which definitely means you should take it easy and stay behind; but, all you can think about is getting to your mom and being away from school for a few days.

Nothing's better than a mother's love and comfort, even though you aren't entirely sure how she's gonna react to this, how she'll feel about San.

In the end, you don't hate him. 

You can't.

You could never.

—FLASHBACK

"That was a good girl's date, wasn't it? We got massages, our nails done. Now we're eating a banana split under this nice weather." Your mom chuckles. "You need to come home more often."

"I know, I know." You scoop up a good helping of the banana split, internally conflicted on when is a good time to let your mom know about what's been going on. She would probably be surprised and scared for you, but your mom had a good way of choosing her words. She had a good way of being there for you but making her concerns known without pointing fingers or putting any blame on your actions.

"How has school been? Your friends?"

"They've been good. We've all been busy with our labs."

"Jiung's been good? You think you guys are all gonna stay in the labs you're currently rotating in?"

"He's good, yeah. And I think so, they all seem to be enjoying it."

"How about you?" You poke at the banana before scooping another helping. Your mom can already tell there's something else on your mind, but she's gonna let you take the floor and open up about it when you're ready.

Which is now. 

You just don't know if she's ready.

"Uh, yeah. It's been good!" You give her a small smile. "I'm still deciding on my route, but it's been good." Pause. "There's actually something else I've been meaning to tell you."

"Okay, try me!" She chuckles. "What is it?"

"I've been seeing someone."

"Oh?" She laughs. "Well, isn't that great?! I mean, you never needed a man, okay. But, as long as they make you happy and add value to your life. I just want you happy." She laughs. "Who is he, where did you meet? Tell me everything!" You sigh and take a deep breath before starting.

"We met at school. In the lab. Because.. he's my rotation professor." You give her a look, afraid of what she'll say. She stops mid-bite and almost chokes, setting her spoon down before looking at you with knitted brows.

"Your.. what?! Y/N—"

"Mom, please. Just hear me out before you start assuming and saying things. He didn't abuse his power, I didn't throw myself on him, okay? It just happened." You immediately say and look at her with puppy eyes. "We just happened. We grew feelings for each other and just clicked really well. We've been keeping things lowkey."

"But, Y/N. Honey, I say this sincerely. What if people find out? Not that I want them to, but they will." You shrug.

"I don't know, we'll figure it out."

"H-how old is he?"

"32."

"Oh, okay. He's young."

"And handsome." You rest your chin on the palm of your hand and smile. "His name is San. Choi San. He's pretty popular in the bioengineering and neuroscience world."

"That's good." Your mom is slightly shutting down and you know it's because her thoughts are traveling at 100mph and she doesn't know what to think or do.

Or say.

"Mom, I'm sorry. I know you're worried but I'll be fine, okay? I promise. It'll all be fine." You add to break the silence and reach for her hand.

"I just don't want him to hurt you and then you lose everything you've worked so hard for over him."

"I just don't know where this is gonna take us. Things feel too overwhelming. Like.. I just don't want any talk getting into his head about us."

"It could really ruin things for the both of you, Y/N. Please be smart about your actions. Don't throw everything away because of him. That's all I ask. Just by the looks of it, I know he makes you happy and you're riding cloud nine, but you need to remember who comes first— yourself."

"I know. I hear you. I don't mean to cause any unnecessary worry or anything."

"No, you're not. Lovey, I'm your mom, I'm always gonna worry regardless. But, I trust you enough to make the right decisions and to take care of yourself. I know you'll be smart and I know you won't be completely reckless. I'm not gonna lie, this— this isn't a 'conventional' relationship and I'm not sure how I feel about it yet." She sighs and looks at you with a hint of concern in her eyes. "I'm trying hard to see this from your side, not from my side, and I think it'll take me time to get used to. In the end, I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't want people to think bad about you, and I don't want you to lose everything you've worked so hard for."

"I know, but it's all okay. I promise." You promise her, but you don't even know if you believe the promise yourself. "You can trust him." She doesn't say much, and you can tell she's trying her hardest to swallow her true emotions.

"Just becareful."

—END

San picks up the phone to call Namjoon, hands slightly trembling. He's still sitting in his car, still sitting in the same spot because it's his turn to cry and let out all his feelings. He hits the steering wheel before running a hand through his hair, second-guessing all his decisions.

Why did it have to come down to all of this? Did he really have to? How long before he folds and comes back to you?

Before he says fuck this all together and chases after you?

He keeps trying to remind himself that he needs to protect you and let this blow over. He keeps trying to remind himself that it'll all be worth it and you both will find your way back to each other again.

In time.

"San."

"It's over with." Is all he is able to say before Namjoon lets out a small sigh on the other end.

"I'm sorry, San. Look, just give this time—" Quite frankly, he doesn't wanna hear it anymore. Not today, not tomorrow, not for awhile.

"It's fine." He cute him off. "You don't have to say it. Just please make sure nothing happens to her."

"You got my word. I'll figure this out. Don't worry." San ends the call before he's digging his head into his hands and cries.

And cries.

And cries.

Because now his days are going to blend back to the black and white filter he used to have on. He'll never experience that warmth, those colors, without you around.

He'll never witness where the sea meets the sky, when the sun sinks below the horizon. When dawn meets dusk. 

His days will be monotone and dull, lifeless and cold. Gloomy. Days he had prayed to get past and never return to.

But, he's here again.

And somehow, this pain feels worse this time around than the first time.

—FLASHBACK

San sighs when he pulls up to his parents' house, aggressively shifting the gear to park before taking a moment to himself. He wasn't happy when his father left him a voicemail, scolding him for the rumors going around about him dating his student. He was quick to call him names and demand him to make things right before his name could be tainted in the industry. San isn't gonna lie, he's always looked up to his father. Things changed when San started making a name for himself in the academic industry, creating some kind of competitive tension between the two. Well, San never felt that way. His dad strongly did though, for whatever reason.

He never understood it. It's whatever.

What San wasn't having was the fact that his father kept calling you a little girl who only wanted to use him to work her way in and up.

He slams the door to his car, adjusting his hat and his jacket before tapping the code into the keypad on the front door.

"San, is that you?" He hears his mom's sweet voice call out to him. He smiles softly when she comes into view in the hallway, opening her arms for a hug. "Please don't mind your father, you know how he is. He's just concerned." She gives the back of his neck a reassuring massage.

"Mm, yeah. I can feel the concern especially when he starts calling me out my name."

"San." His mom gives him a look before his dad looks up from the paper he's reading on the couch, forehead crinkling when he sees his son walk in.

"Why are you here?"

"Hi to you, too." San says while his mom steps in the middle.

"Honey." She turns to his father.

"So, what was up with that voicemail?" 

"Why don't you tell us what's been going on with you and your so-called girlfriend? Do you even care about yourself or what this could do to your career? You're so careless—"

"So what if I'm careless! You don't even know her so you don't have a right to do that!"

"Are you actually that stupid, San? Do you know how damaging this could be for you, for us?"

"What does this have to do with you?!" San's voice raises. 

"It has everything to do with us! Everyone thinks you either forced that girl into a relationship or she threw herself on you and you stupidly took the bait!"

"Even if I said it wasn't like that, you wouldn't listen anyway!"

"Are you serious about her?"

"What makes you think I'm not? We're two grown adults who are capable of making our own decisions and knew the consequences from the very beginning."

"And you think she'll stay? Someone that young and who is just getting started with her life, basically. You think she'll stay and be there for you when times get rough?"

"Absolutely." His dad scoffs.

"Is that so? Wishful thinking. You couldn't even keep Iseul and now you're downgrading to a st—"

"Hey!" San's mom cuts off his father's statement. "That is enough from you. Don't finish that sentence."

"You have no idea what Iseul put me through!" San's tone is louder to match his father's energy. "I found somebody who genuinely and truly cares about me and who I am. That isn't enough for you? Just because she's a student, but a grown adult at that?! You can't even be happy for a second? You still find a way to be on Iseul's side even though she cheated with my bestfriend!"

"Maybe it's time you realized you pushed Iseul away. That was your own doing. And this girl? Don't come to me and make me tell you 'I told you so' when she leaves after she's gotten everything she needs from you." San's dad is fuming in front of him. "How could you be so sure things will be smooth sailing with her, hm? What makes you think this can work?"

"This is fucking bullshit, I'm not explaining myself to you. If you don't wanna be happy for me and support me, then so be it."

—END

San thinks maybe his dad was right; maybe this wasn't meant to be, and was just supposed to be another fleeting moment, another lesson.

Even though deep down, he knows it's far from it.

As he sits in his home office, he scrolls through old pictures of you and him together— you, pictures you've sent him. He feels the rush of sadness hit him like bricks, his chest almost physically hurting from the ache. He has this sudden urge to text you and call you, tell you how much he misses you.

But, he stops himself.

What if you stopped caring? What if you were so mad at him that you hated him?

He couldn't bear with it.

If only he knew how much you cried and yearned for him every night, if only he knew how much your head hurt while you laid on your mom's lap while she ran her hands through your hair— gently cooing you and shushing you to help you get some sleep.

If only he knew.

"Mom, I'm sorry." You cry and cry, laying your head on her lap as you let everything out. "You were right, I messed everything up. This was all so stupid. I'm so stupid."

"Don't say that." She shushes you and tries to coo you. "Don't ever say that again." She looks at you. "What happened?" You gather the strength to tell her everything that's been going on. How deep your relationship went with San and how well he took care of you. How you weren't always the most careful but the only reason why things blew up was because of Hae-jin, Iseul and Yunho. How Iseul and Yunho just keep trying to get in between, how Jiung even went to Professor Kim about all of this.

How San broke this off claiming he wanted to protect you and put you first.

How utterly sad and betrayed you feel.

"I'm just so tired of feeling this way. I hate how alone I feel. I hate how much I miss him. I hate how this unfolded the way it did."

"I'm so sorry, honey. You need to let things be for now, okay? I know that's not what you wanna hear, but you need to. Especially for school and yourself."

"Why does anyone care? Why does it matter?"

"People have nothing better to do, and I'm sorry it had to be those two and Jiung."

"I'm so tired, mom. When will this pass? What did I do wrong? Why did he leave so quickly?"

"Lovey. You did nothing wrong. It wasn't you at all, and it wasn't San either. The circumstances are just tough. You didn't know it would play out this way and I'm sure he has his reasons."

"What if he's just using that as an excuse? What if he really doesn't want this anymore?"

"If he really cared about you, why would he lie, Y/N? I'm sure he was doing his best to protect you both, especially you. I know it hurts right now, hun. But, maybe this is for the best." You don't wanna hear it even though your mom might be right.

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this was just telling you this could never work between you two.

No matter how hard you both tried.

San's urge to text or call doesn't lessen as the next few days go by, especially when he notices he hasn't seen any trace of you. He'll usually see you walking towards the biology building for Yunho's class or making your way to the dining hall with the girls.

If San hadn't overheard Sunwoo telling his lab mates that you were sick, he would've gone crazy.

It still doesn't help that you're feeling unwell and he can't do anything about it.

"Sunwoo." San pokes his head out of his door, causing Sunwoo to lift his head from his laptop and shift his attention towards him. "Can you meet really quickly?"

"Yeah, sure thing. Be right over!"

"Thanks." San heads back to his desk and lets out a breath, waiting for Sunwoo to come. It takes him less than 5 minutes to finally make his way into the office, rubbing his hands down his jeans. "Hey." San looks up at him. "Thanks for coming in on short notice."

"No prob! What's up, Professor Choi?"

"I wanted to talk to you really quickly because I wanted you to hear it from me directly. Starting next week, we'll be losing Y/N's support. She'll be heading to Professor Kim's lab."

"O-oh. Okay. Damn." Sunwoo ticks his head to the side. "Professor Kim with the steal." San chuckles a bit.

"Yeah." San can't even hide his sadness when he looks down at the papers beneath his hands that Sunwoo catches on and he feels bad. He still doesn't know the details and he never will, but if it's one thing he can gather right now, it's the fact that the room feels cold and empty.

It's the fact that San literally has to force himself to smile and deliver this news like all is okay and no big deal— when in fact, it fucking is.

Sunwoo feels so bad.

"So, I know she's out sick right now, but will I still get to see her before she goes? I wanna talk to her to wrap things up, too."

"When she returns, we'll make sure she has time to close loose ends with you and gather her things."

"Hm." Sunwoo nods slowly. "Okay."

"I'm sorry this came up so suddenly, but I had to make a few changes around here. We all thought she'd be a better fit with Professor Kim." 

"I see. She's super smart and incredibly great at what she does, I know she'll do well in whatever she does and wherever she goes." San nods.

"Yeah, she will." He sighs. "There's another rotation student that I might bring in next quarter that might be a good fit to work with you, too. His name is Baehyuk."

"Cool. Down to meet whenever the time is right."

"Thanks, Sunwoo."

"No, thank you for always giving me some help and pushing me forward." San gives him a small smile. "Everything will work out."

"Yeah." Is all he could say in response. Because he hopes it will. 

Right now, it seems like a far reach.

All San wants to do is love you, rather than hiding just how deeply in love he was with you.

—FLASHBACK

"Here, baby." He turns to hand you a plate with a smile on his face. "Think you can help me dry the last of these dishes and put 'em up?"

"Course, chef." He chuckles, watching as you tip-toe with nothing but his shirt on to reach over and place the dry dishes into the proper cabinet. You follow suit with the last three dishes, setting the towel aside while San wipes away the water droplets around the sink. "We did it, babe! All clean."

"Sure did." He laughs, caging you in against the counter to kiss you sweetly. "Thank you, baby."

"You're welcome." You giggle. "Thank you for making dinner."

"As long as you enjoyed." You nod.

"What do you wanna do for the rest of the evening?"

"Mm, we can watch a movie and fall asleep here on the couch without any worry."

"That's fun." You smile.

"Or, we can do other things that I have in mind." He brushes the hair away from your face while you wrap your arms around his neck.

"Ooh." You reply in a sing-song tone. "Care to indulge?"

"Absolutely." He says just as he swiftly carries you and wraps your legs around him. You squeal as he walks over to the couch and gently plops you down onto the soft cushions, wasting no time to attach his lips to every inch of skin he can. He slowly hovers over you, hands roaming up your shirt and tugging material along with it as he continues to move upward— exposing your cute pink panties from beneath. He sinks to his knees and pries your legs open after fixing your position to the edge of the couch. "Let me make you feel good, love."

"Yes please, Sannie. Please." You beg, watching as San slides down your panties and tosses them aside. His hands caress your thighs, giving them a good squeeze while laying open-mouth kisses along the surface. You continue to watch him, biting on your lip when he hovers over where you need him at most. He licks a stripe up your folds, causing your head to cock back against the cushion. He begins to gently kiss and suck at your heat— a satisfying, breathy moan leaving your lips as you let San relish being in between your thighs. He laps away at your clit, tonguing down your pussy as if he had been deprived of you for years.

You love/hate how good he is at this. "Babe—" You moan loudly, hips now working on their own terms against his mouth. He subtly nods as he continues to suck and lap away at your heat, tongue keeping you wet and filthy; just the way he likes it. "God, right there—" You whine, hips rolling upward and grinding against his mouth, his tongue. 

You used to be so shy.

Now, you're not afraid to tell him what you want and he fucking loves it. "Oh—San— gonna—" Your statement comes out broken as you continue to work against his mouth, orgasm crashing down like a harsh wave against the shore. You grip his hair, body twitching as San continues to latch on and groan against your pussy; incredibly hard while watching the way your body surrenders all. "Fuck." You whisper, still twitching due to the aftershocks from your first orgasm of the night. 

"That's my girl." He's back to kissing your thighs, hands gently rubbing up and down your leg as a way to soothe you. 

"Need you." You tug him by the shirt to plant a messy kiss against his lips— shirt soon to be discarded on the floor, along with his sweats.

Now you're on his lap, slowly riding his cock just the way he likes it— the couch's throw blanket resting against the small of your back and draped along San's lap.

It's his favorite position after all.

"Mm— just like that, baby." He whispers against your lips as you continue to ride him slowly on the couch. "Just like that." He repeats. "You're my good girl, right? Just mine?" He asks lowly and you nod, letting out a sweet moan as he pinches your nipple and watches your head tilt back in pleasure. "Oh, fuck— just like that." His head rests back against the couch, feeling your walls brush against him and drag against his rock hard cock. "All mine."

"Mm'fuck, Sannie." You keep your head back, intense pleasure bubbling at the pit of your stomach. You take him slowly, deeply; his cock hitting all the right spots every time you do a 'lil tug and pull— hips carefully rolling against him. 

"So fucking sexy." He groans. "God, you're everything." His lips drag against your skin, tongue swirling around your perky nipples as your hands tug on the ends of his soft, black hair. "Everything to me." He whispers as if your skin could hold all of the universe's secrets. The blanket is barely keeping up with your movements. San's hand comes up along the base of your neck, bringing you back down to envelope your lips with his. 

The kiss is full of hunger.

The kiss is slow and steady.

The kiss is messy.

You break the kiss first, body slowly crumbling in his grip when you feel your high approaching quick. You moan loudly, breath ragged as you pant; hips slightly picking up the pace to push yourself further and further until you reach the edge.

"Oh—" San matches your moans. "That's it, sweetheart. Cum for me." He praises you, voice deep— tone sending vibrations all the way down to your core. "Give it to me. Wanna feel you cum all over this dick, angel." Hearing San talk the way he's talking is enough to make your coil snap. He continues to coo you as you come undone on his lap; stuttering in your movements and trembling in his grip. He places his hands on your hips, fingers digging deep into the flesh while he fucks up into you— reaching his high shortly after you with a loud groan and hiss. "Fuck, that was so good, baby." You giggle, forehead against his while his hands gently caress and your back. You leave a tender kiss against his plump lips, and he chases with a few repeated kisses before bringing you down with him on the couch. The both of you lay underneath the throw blanket, now properly covering most of your bodies while San holds you from behind. He has his propped up by an arm while you both watch the show on TV, but San finds his thoughts wandering elsewhere at some point. He begins to look around the house and notices how different it feels since you've been around.

Good different.

A space that used to he so grey, so lifeless; now has remnants of you everywhere.

Your polaroids.

Pictures of you and San in frames.

Your little stuffed animal keychains and rings thrown onto the kitchen island, or the room. Or even his desk in the office.

Your little post-it notes. Your favorite chips and snacks littered around the pantry.

You were there everywhere he turned, and he finds it's one of his biggest blessings.

Especially when you lay here on the couch with him, completely not minding the idea San proposed of just falling asleep on the couch together while sorting through movies.

You agreed so quickly and so happily.

No matter how big or small, most ideas just seemed silly in his last relationship.

But, now he has you— someone who is happy to just be with him and spend time with him. No matter how big or small the idea, the plans.

San loves you.

And he'll never take it for granted.

—END

—read 13.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[beardedjoel]

💗🎉💗CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MILESTONE!💗🎉💗

I’m so happy for you! I found you through Closer, and I couldn’t be happier about it. You’re an amazing writer and such a lovely person!

I’m wondering… what about one of these?🌹the prompt number 1. I love your writing and I cannot stop myself from asking. Perhaps with Joel, or Frankie, or Pero…I’m not picky, I’ll be happy with whatever the inspiration leads you.

Alsooooo… Is it too much if I add a little bit of 💌? I’m curious about your writing process. How do you do it? Is it linear, or do you jump around, and later “paste it”?

wym, you're so sweet and i love sharing this space with you my friend 😘 thank you for sending in this prompt and allowing me to do something special with it. thanks for your patience as i have been painstakingly slow with making my way through this backlog of requests! i'll answer your thoughtful writing question at the very bottom of the post after the one shot, if that's alright!

axel and ember — joel x f!reader

request: "overwhelmed, but happy crying during sex". sent in as part of my 5k celebration! i decided to use this one for something very personal to me. as someone who has dealt with vaginismus, this was challenging to write the last few days but it felt like the right direction for me to go in with this prompt. in no way does this describe the experience every person with vaginismus has (nor 100% true to mine), and it is a lot of hard work to help your body and mind learn to work with the sexual obstacles that come with it. i simplified things for the purpose of this story but still found it really gratifying to write so much from personal experience and feelings that i have dealt with. i highly encourage anyone who has not heard of vaginismus to do a little research as it's something that many, many women deal with in silence or is ignored as much of women's sexual health is. happy reading 💓

wc: 2.9k

warnings: 18+ MDNI, reader has vaginismus, unprotected piv

“Maybe… maybe it just doesn’t fit.”

You’d said the words, exasperated after trying for the third time that week.

“I don’t think that’s how that works, darlin’,” Joel teases the words playfully, his hair hanging down into his face as he holds himself perched above you. His smile brusquely fades when he sees that you’re genuinely upset. Some days, it hadn’t been that big of a deal, you’d been able to shrug off the frustration. Today, however, you felt frayed and emotional, pissed off that your body couldn’t just behave like a normal body should. It’s infuriating, living in a body that won’t cooperate with your mind, seeing others do with ease what you never could. What you could only have as a fantasy. 

“Hey, it’s alright.” He leans down, kissing you softly before moving from where he’d been stationed on top of you to lay at your side.

Another dream of finally having sex with your boyfriend tonight slipped away in an instant. 

“What if I try the dilators again?” you ask desperately, meeting Joel’s gaze. His warm eyes look back at yours with empathy, and he shrugs.

“If y’want. But maybe you should jus’ rest. We already had our fun, yeah?”

He’d gotten you off, you’d gotten him off. Fingers and tongues and mouths, which admittedly were great, but you craved to know what more of him felt like, more than just the one, sometimes two fingers you could handle without soon wincing in discomfort.

You wanted him inside of you, wanted your bodies joined in the way that you were so cruelly being denied by the universe.

“N-no, you’re right. It was fun.” You flash him a somewhat forced smile, grateful for his patience and love when he wraps his arms around you. Joel had been such a constant with you, so wonderful, and that only made it hurt more that you couldn’t give him this. He’d never pressured you, never made you feel at fault these last five months you’d been dating. In some ways, it had brought you closer, not being able to rush into sex, but it didn’t mean that he’d stick around forever if it meant he couldn’t get the one thing you know men always want.

“We’re gonna get it one of these days,” he reassures you, stroking your hair. “You’re workin’ hard at your sessions and here at home. Don’t tell you enough that I think it’s great, seein’ you tryin’ all of that. But don’t do it for me, okay? Do it ‘cause it’s what you want.”

You stare at him for a moment, dumbfounded. You were of course doing all of this work for yourself, so that you could freely enjoy something that should come so naturally to your body. Yet you knew that deep down the pressure was mounting, wanting to give Joel the sexual satisfaction you assumed he craved, something that your hands and mouth couldn’t give him. It was putting up a block between you and your sexuality, making each interaction that much more strained and distressing. You’re surprised Joel caught on to all of that when you’d been trying to put on a brave face for him. 

“I - I know,” you concede with a sigh. “I’m afraid sometimes. That I’ll never be enough without this piece of me.”

Joel’s deep set brow furrows further, looking hurt - for you or for himself, you can’t quite tell. His lips set into a firm line before they part, readying to speak. “I think you’re pretty damn amazing the way that y’are. I want that for us, ‘course I do. But I’d rather jus’ have you, whatever, however you are.”

“You would?” you ask sentimentally, your eyes stinging with unshed tears. You laugh slightly, wiping under your eyes, knowing your question is ridiculous but still needing that extra validation that he’s sure. That he’s okay continuing to try this with you, even if it never results in anything. 

“Yes, silly. Why do you think I’ve kept you around all this time?” 

“‘Cause I find us all the good TV shows to watch?”

He laughs, his burly chest shaking with it. “Quit bein’ a pest, I’m tryin’ to be serious with you,” he quips back, trying and failing to hold back his chuckle.

“I know. I know what you’re saying, Joel. I -“ You swallow, your face falling, pulled back into the seriousness of the moment. “I appreciate you. So, so much.” You reach and wrap your arms tightly around him. You relish in the feeling of being close to him, your naked bodies melding together, the heater-like quality of Joel always comforting to you. 

“You’re all the good in this relationship, baby.”

“Who’s being a pest now?” You flick his chest, sending the both of you into a fit of laughter again, giddy at the late hour and the tax of this evening leaving you emotionally spent.

The voice deep inside your mind taunts you as you slowly listen to Joel falling asleep next to you, his breath falling to a rhythmic pattern interlaced with tiny, endearing snores. You hold back tears that come in the dark, feeling so small and alone in this moment, knowing that despite his reassurances, he could never truly understand how this feels for you.

The next few weeks go by with much of the same - you’re busy with life, work, friends, and going to your physical therapy sessions. It was awkward at first all those months ago, laying there bare underneath the sheet while a woman practically had half her hand inside of you, but you got used to it, even started to look forward to hearing about her life and her kids. 

You and Joel try a few more times to no avail, your body once seeming to have a breakthrough before promptly making you inhale sharply in pain, shaking your head dejectedly. 

You try to let it go, let all of it go. Learn that life doesn’t surround this, it simply can’t if you don’t want this pressure, this hole in your heart that you think you need to fill, to eat you alive. This cannot mean that you’re broken, that nobody could want to be with someone born with their factory settings just a little bit off. 

You see it on Joel’s face and in his demeanor, proudly taking note of the change within you. You start to pounce on him every chance you get, fueled by trying to feed this new, insatiable mental freedom you’ve allowed yourself. If you couldn’t have the sex you were dreaming of just yet, you figured that in the meantime you may as well make the sex you are having something new to dream about.

Joel, as predicted, is highly receptive to your new outlook, hands and lips all over you more often than not the second you step through his door to spend the night with him. You find yourself laughing with him when you’re being intimate instead of focusing on that pit in your stomach that worries if this time could finally be the time. You’ve done away with taking it far too seriously to even enjoy when your gracious boyfriend is buried between your legs like it’s his favorite thing. Now, you can appreciate all of it for what it is - a way to connect with Joel, to share something special and fun and sexy together.

You lie in bed with Joel this evening, cackling as you two take turns narrating excerpts from a friend’s most recent read in the romance department that she’d lent you. For inspiration, she’d teased, saying it might help your mind and body become more open to connecting with one another on the topic of sex. You’d taken it with a grain of salt but now it was the evening's top entertainment. You had to admit that she had a point - it did feel nice to read about characters that were so sexually open that anything seemed possible for them.

“The people in these books are unreal,” you manage to get out through your laughter, wiping the stream of tears that coats your cheeks. Joel wipes at the corners of his own eyes, still chuckling.

“Wouldn’t mind givin’ some of these a try one of these days, bet you’d be sexy flipped upside down or whatever the hell they were doin’,” Joel says, propped up on his elbow, his handsome eyes smoldering in your direction. The implication that many of the acts the fictional couple are doing involves things that your body hasn’t been cooperating enough to even go near makes you stiffen for a moment. Maybe a month ago, the comment would have wrecked you, sent you spiraling or feeling self conscious about this perceived insufficiency of yours, but now you let it slide right off your back.

You scrunch your nose at him, letting it fall into a sly smile as he flicks his eyes over you in appreciation. “Shush,” you tease. “We need to find out what happens next to… whatever their names are.” This had all been in good fun, and their names seemed secondary to the juicy details of their sex lives. 

“Axel and Ember.” Joel cuts in, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

You deadpan. “Right… Someone has been paying attention.”

“Go on, then…” Joel insists with sass, his hand motioning expectantly to the open book in your lap. You smirk before focusing on the page and continuing where you left off. You two read until both of your eyelids get heavy, the words muttered slower and slower, your bodies buzzing hotly with arousal from the content yet far too tired to do anything to make a move on the other person. 

“Tomorrow,” Joel utters in your ear just as you’re moving into that cozy, floaty, drifting sensation before it all goes black. “Tomorrow I’m gonna Axel your ass into oblivion.”

You’re awoken by a kiss, feather light upon your lips. Your lids flutter open to see Joel, his scruffy beard and unbearably cute bed head up close and personal with you. It’s barely light out, the room bathed in the pale blue glow that comes right before dawn. Your skimpy camisole strap has slid off your shoulder, the entire thing askew and leaving one of your tits bared to him. Joel’s eyes seem to be glued there before flicking back and forth between your now perky nipple and your face. His lips close around it, gently sucking, and you writhe, your body turning towards his.

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy,” he mutters against your hot skin, breath ghosting over your sensitive nipple. You shudder, your skin prickling with anticipation, the space between your thighs desperately empty. Going to bed so unsatisfied seemed to have done a number on the both of you as you’re now acutely aware Joel pressing up against you, his cock already hard and leaking.

“Joel…” you whine, hips bucking towards him.

He dives in, his lips devouring yours, shifting his body to straddle yours, grasping the sides of your face in his hands. His tongue laps into your mouth and you arch your back into the way his hips start to grind into yours, burning desire low in your belly. You’re already so damn wet from his teasing, more than you’ve ever been, built up longing spilling over from last night.

“I… want to try right now,” you finally manage to gasp out as his lips separate from yours for a brief second. He pauses, looking down at you, his heavy lidded eyes sincere as they dance over your features.

“You sure? It’s okay if we jus’ -”

“No. I’m sure,” you tell him. “I feel so good. I want to feel good with you.” Your fingers dig into his bare back, urging him on.

He only nods, his throat bobbing as he swallows. He places gentler kisses on your lips before moving to your neck, then down your body until he reaches the waistband of your sleep shorts. Tugging those down along with your panties, he moves with certainty and care, adoring your soft skin in every place along the way. 

He touches a gentle finger to your slit, so sensitive and swollen now, and you suck in a breath.

“Holy shit. God damn, baby,” he muses with awe, fire burning in his dark eyes.

You chuckle shakily, feeling your cheeks flush as you avert your eyes shyly. “I - I know. I need you.”

“Can practically feel her puslin’,” he growls, licking his lips, desire clouding his mind.

Your cheeks only grow hotter at his dirty words, pulling your lip between your teeth. “Taking a page from Axel’s book, I see,” you tease him breathily.

“Nah. This is all Joel Miller, baby,” he replies just as he uses his whole hand to cup your slick cunt, the both of you groaning quietly. Joel starts to shimmy his briefs down, leaving him completely stripped underneath the covers with you. You wait for him to climb back on top of you, carefully removing your top and taking you in.

“Perfect.” He smiles, and you wrap your legs around his waist, a silent signal that you’re ready. Joel reaches between your bodies, bringing his cock to your cunt, lazily moving it through the folds until he’s coated in your arousal, each stroke making your hips buck, your need climbing to an unbearable level.

“Please…” you whine, feeling the emptiness inside of you, craving that full sensation you’ve been romanticizing time and time again in your mind.

“I got you, baby. No matter what. I’m right here, ‘kay?” You feel him line himself up, trying to manage your expectations as you nod for him, swallowing down your nerves. Even if it doesn’t work this time, it’ll be okay, you’ll be oka -

The tip of his cock pushes past your entrance, and you gasp, eyes going wide. You both pause, staring at each other in an optimistic, full silence, breathing heavily.

You nod again, mouth agape. “More…” you whisper softly, taking a deep breath, trying to relax your body.

Joel smiles, pressing his hips into you the tiniest bit more. He still slides in with ease, the smallest pinch subsiding when he takes a beat, then pushes a little more, repeating the process a few times. You feel the stretch, the slight burn as your body adjusts, your mind racing at the miracle that’s occurring, barely even able to register it right now.

“Oh my god,” you mutter, starting to shake. Joel leans down to kiss you, a comforting move, but it only pushes his cock in another bit, making you gasp softly at the fullness.

To your shock, when he pulls back the sensation begins to near something pleasurable. “Sorry,” he quickly spits out, his concerned stare meeting yours.

“No. It’s good. A-again. Do that again.” You start to smile in earnest, a toothy grin that you can’t help but feel spread across your face. 

“What… this?” he asks coyly, more overt with the thrust inwards as he pulls his lips into yours. He buries his face in your neck, breathing you in and kissing the sensitive skin there. “You’re so wet, so fuckin’ tight, baby. You feel incredible.”

You shudder underneath him, moaning softly as his words travel right to your core, burning with a new kind of eagerness you’ve never felt before. “You feel so good,” you echo back to him as you pant.

Joel starts to move, testing the waters with slow, steady movements. You keep breathing, terrified that any minute the ball will drop or this will have been a dream or some cruel trick your body is playing on you. But the sporadic bursts of discomfort subside with each new roll of Joel’s hips, blooming into something pleasurable and sweet, pulling up from deep inside of you.

Emotion bubbles to the surface before you can even tame it, your eyes brimming with tears when Joel bottoms out inside of you, pulling back and pushing in to the hilt again. It feels good, amazing even, to be so full of him, to celebrate this victory, even if only for today.

“Shit. Sweetheart, you’re okay, right? Are you hurting?” Joel freezes when he sees your watery eyes, every muscle coiled stiffly, his face screwed up in fear.

You shake your head, fighting the urge to sob, but Joel’s faithful, genuine concern puts you over the edge. Tears spill, rolling down your cheeks in profound little streaks, every bit of your frustration and pain and anger from the last half of a year pouring out into this beautiful display of pure joy.

“I swear, I’m happy, I’m happy,” you cry out, immediately cradled in Joel’s arms.

“Good,” Joel breathes out in relief. “You’re happy, I’m the happiest fuckin’ guy in the world.”

His words make the tears flow faster, but you start to laugh amidst it all. “Stop making me cry harder!” you chastise him, hugging him tightly around the neck. 

“Joel…” you say after a long, tender embrace, the two of you soaking it in. His cock still throbs inside of you, reminding you of the pleasure you’d started to chase moments ago, lost to the emotion of the moment.

“Hm?” he asks, pulling his head from where it had been buried in the crook of your to look at you.

“Please fuck me now.”

He grins, the movement lighting up his entire face with a lusty glow before he eagerly crashes his lips with yours again. When you see his eyes again, you swear they’re a shade darker, his cheeks tinged with the color of desire. Low and gravelly, he finally speaks. 

“Grab your god damned vibrator, sweetheart.”

to answer your 💌 my writing process is a little all over the place! i used to write mostly linearly, that was what worked for me and i kind of thought of everything in order. but lately i have been doing a bit more doc hopping when i get stuck. maybe writing a later scene that i have ideas for and feel like it's more fleshed out or going back and polishing older paragraphs and such. i definitely am not a big outliner and plotter, which i'd like to get better about! but mostly everything just lives in my head and gets blobbed onto the doc once i have time to write it, which sometimes leaves things forgotten hehe

(divider by @/saradika-graphics!)

[evilminji]

Weird/Unusual Crossover time?

Weird/unusual crossover time! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧ (oh shit~! She's back on her billshit!) (That's RIGHT! Nothing is sacred and NO ONE IS SAFE!)

ANYWAYS~

Danny Phantom. Cultivation Novels (my current obsession). A match made in hell? Or an exciting new adventure‽ Cause like... the Zone DOES go EVERYWHERE, right? Infinite means Infinite means "Literally Without End" Infinite.

As in, Forever.

You COULD, in fact, pick a direction and just... keep going. Forever. For always. Without end or limits. The Zone is not just "really, REALLY big and we need a word your mind could comprehend." Not "as big as a galaxy or the known universe". It is? On a scale that even GODS can not comprehend.

The place GODS go to die. A place they are BORN from. The great primordial soup where universe end and begin anew. Where the cracks are glued backed together, and the souls of the living flow in and out. Endless scraps of fabric, realities, atop a churning sea of green. Keeping everything even.

After all... you can't CREATE a soul. They got to come from SOMEWHERE. Where do you THINK they arrive from? When populations grow? Thin air‽

But... ah~, there in lays the rub, doesn't it? Would knowing the Zone? Knowing SOME of it's mysteries and machinations (for NO ONE, not even all the Ancients COMBINED, can ever claim to understand even a fraction of them all.) mean that Danny??? Was powerful in a Cultivation reality?

He's certainly a powerful GHOST.

But?? They FIGHT ghosts all the time. Wouldn't he be WEAKER and more in danger? As they try to hell the restless spirit move on? Not knowing he is balanced between life and death? They could very well kill him.

Which, given the moral standards of the Realm? Would NOT be viewed as a bad thing.

But! On the OTHER hand?

He is a ZONE ghost. Not a simple spirit. Far beyond what they are used to dealing with. Arguably? ASCENDANT. From a higher plane of existence. A lower one. Several steps to the side. He is, for all intents and purposes, shrimp colors to the human eye. The color blue to a blind man. An orb to the two dimensional.

CAN he even interact with the world's cultivation systems? Does it recognize him as a god? A dead man? Some sort of ascendant dead god?

Something... Not Right™

Yet still utterly natural? Clearly not meant to be here. Yet... not wicked. Granted, not, perhaps, benevolent. But...

Because what IS he? Is he a boy? A man? A corpse? Immortal, perhaps? Is this creature a demon? The resentful dead? They DONT KNOW! It... probably scares a lot of them. Makes some of them think he is a test. Probably makes OTHERS wanna fight (friend? Hey! New friend!).

And like? Why would Danny even BE there? He's already immortal. The swords are pretty cool... but he has Fenton tech.

So, WHY?

I propose?

His well know Anger Issues. His fear of becoming Dan. He's heard meditation is good for shit like that, right? Mindfulness and stuff. Sam recommended it. And? They were watching Fantasy Kung-fu 17, "bamboo monks of vengeance" (now with more slow motion aerial battles). So he was like? Hmmmm... those misty valleys and mountains shots DO looks relaxing... I could go camping...

Maybe find a mysterious old kung-fu monk? Is that what they are? Tucker. Tucker! What's the name of this genre again? Xanxia. Yeah. That! I'll do the whole "live, laugh, love. Hot girl, cultivation summer" thing! That'll fix my shit! This is a GREAT idea!

Thus? Danny. Terrorizing some poor Xanxia Cultivation world with his Zone Ghostiness. Pretending to be a human... very, VERY badly. Yes, hello Fellow Locals! It is him! Average Human Man! Take me to your *checks notes* Cultivation Sect! *smiles with far too many teeth*

#nailedit he's gonna get SUCH a good job at blending in! A thing that is both real and possible to achieve!

@babbling-babull @legitimatesatanspawn @mayfay @hdgnj @spidori @the-witchhunter @leftnotright @lolottes

[billthedrake]

LINEAGE (PART TWO)

It was weird being in my doctor's office. Even weirder sitting out in the waiting room while my son Braden was getting the news confirmed. I wondered if the other people there had any idea or could read how much I was hiding my anticipation and excitement. Trying not to get my hopes up TOO much.

Too late for that, though. A week before, Braden had peed on the pregnancy test. I wasn't a water sports guy, and Brade wasn't a water sports guy, but it became our regular weekly ritual. Stepping into the master bathroom and then Braden pulling out his dick to pee on that stick.

It took several months to conceive. It was disappointing, at first. But Braden was the optimistic one. "You got strong swimmers, Dad, I know it. Let's just enjoy the act of making our first kid together."

So we did. Each time we fucked - and that's all we did now and would do now until conception - it was with a purpose. We had the idea of pregnancy in our heads. And we spoke them out loud. We talked about baby names while I slow pumped my raw dad cock in and out of my hot Marine son. We talked about the changes Braden's body would undergo once he got knocked up.

But the thing that drove me wildest, that drove Braden wildest, was the incest. Once either of started talking about how my son was also going to be my grandson, or how I was gonna give Braden a baby brother, how I was gonna fuck his little brother into existence inside of Brade... well, both of us would cum explosively.

Maybe those extra hard cums did the trick. The pregnancy test got a plus sign. It was wild to watch my son's soft cock grow instantly hard at the news. I certainly boned up.

"Bill?" came the doctor's voice as he popped out into the lobby. "Wanna come back?"

Dr. Fiedler was my general practitioner, and had been ever since he took over the practice from his father. He was still young, mid-30s. I had felt self conscious coming to him, but Braden insisted that he felt more comfortable with Fiedler than with some new doctor.

I tried to read the man's expression as he led me back, but he had a poker face. Until we got closer to the door and I saw a smile form on his lips. Hell, yes.

Brade was shirtless on the examining table, sitting up for all of his hunky perfection to see. God, if Fiedler touched my son in any way... get a grip on yourself, Bill, I told myself.

Braden's smile calmed my weird jealous streak. He didn't have a poker face, just pure joy. Already he was putting his T shirt back on, which I kind of regretted. We'd definitely have to fuck when we got home.

Fiedler motioned for me to sit in a chair while he pulled up his rolling desk chair.

"Well, Bill, I've told Braden the news, but he's for sure going to be a father."

"Yeah?" I replied with a beaming smile that I couldn't suppress. "That's incredible... I mean." Catching myself, though not in time.

Fiedler laughed. "It's OK, guys... I think it's beautiful." He looked back and forth between me and Brade. "Why do you think my dad retired early?"

"Shit!" Braden exclaimed with a laugh. "For real?"

Fiedler nodded. Doc was a handsome, cute fucker, I'll give him that. And the fact he'd bred an incest baby was wild to think about. "They've made some real advancements in fertility pills," the doctor said. "I'm sure Braden here doesn't need them."

"It took us a while to conceive," I admitted. Maybe I was concerned and wanted to make sure everything would be OK.

The doctor gave a quick nod. "Yeah, it takes longer with men." He looked over at my son. "Braden's all Y chromosomes, so if the sperm that reaches it is also Y, it won't take."

"So it's going to a boy?" Braden asked excitedly. No one could accuse him of being a dumb jock, though he was committed to researching pregnancy in a way he never got into studying in school.

"It's a boy," Fiedler assured us.

The doctor spent the next fifteen minutes filling us in on the next stages and then pulled out a pad. "Here's an obstetrician I can recommend," he said, writing down a name. "Dad and I used him, so he's sympathetic."

I took the paper. "Um, if you don't mind me asking, Doctor, how many kids have you...."

"Three," Dr. Fiedler answered. "And we're working on number four now." Somehow, the guy could say it in a way that was endearing as it was lewd. He turned to Braden. "Fatherhood's the best, Braden... and nothing like the first time."

***

There were phases. The excitement period over the news. Braden and I fucked at least twice a day. Trying to relive that moment of conception. Getting deeper into our sex talk. Choosing that baby name. I never thought I'd be one of those ego-centric guys who'd name his kid a junior. But once Braden went on about he really wanted our kid to have my name, I got real into the fuck, real into making out Brade, and real into the idea. Our first son was going to be Bill, Jr.

Then came a two month stretch of morning sickness. With Braden, it wasn't just the morning. He had it rough. I felt bad. I did my best to look out for him, even with my long hours. I got into the rhythm of bringing work home or tackling some on the weekends. It wasn't ideal, but it meant I could step up and do some of the basic household stuff. I'd gotten used to Brade taking care of all that.

In a strange way, it was like I was 18 and doing my share to help Susan out as we raised Braden. I could envision doing this once Bill Jr. was born. It would be even better, since my son was conceived with purpose, with love. Conceived with Braden.

Around the time the baby bump started showing, Braden felt better. Then the pregnancy hormones started kicking in. My son could get moody... sullen, angry, manic... but damn did he get horny. I'd wake up to him sucking me. Or he'd pounce on me when I got home, pulling me by my tie back to the bedroom. It was like our fucking honeymoon.

It got better. Once Braden started swelling, I got even more turned on. I was caught off guard by how much that growing belly and that overall pregnancy thickness would turn me on. I learned not to go rough when having sex, but that was better, too. Just pumping into my hot son while I watched that big round swell where my soon-to-be-born son was. Seeing that pregnancy gut sway lightly but tightly on his midsection. Where our son was.

And Brade's taut muscular chest grew rounder as he body prepared to make milk to feed the newborn when he arrived.

Bill Jr. was a big baby. 9 and a half pounds. I was over the moon, but it was the smile on Braden's face that thrilled me the most.

"We did it, Dad," Brade said as he held our infant son in his arm. He was still in a hospital gown, and even so he looked hot. Braden could look hot in just about anything, I decided. "Bill, Jr."

I saw our son squirm. "He's a feisty one," I said.

Braden laughed. "Was I, Dad?"

I shook my head. "Nah, you were a docile infant. Even as a toddler you were quiet. I don't think we're going to be so lucky."

"Probably not." Braden's eyes were on our son, taking in the miracle of a new life he'd brought into being. He looked up at me, then. "He's gonna be like you, I know it."

"We'll see."

***

I was proud of Braden. Nothing is like parenthood to make you grow up fast, but it was wild to see him step into responsibility. I wasn't able to take paternity leave since to the outside world, I was just helping my single-parent son out. That was the only tough part of this, the fact that Brade and I had to hide our relationship and the fact we'd made a son together.

The first couple of months were amazing but also tough. No sleep, changing diapers, the feeling of always being on shift. And my son and I weren't having sex. Brade wasn't ready, and my own libido was taking a hit. I jerked off in the shower from time to time for a quick release, but that was it.

Until one day I came home to see Brade shirtless on the couch, breastfeeding Bill Jr. It was just, I don't know, angelic, beautiful. Brade in his prime of youthful masculinity and parenthood. Feeding our son.

But there was the physical sight of Braden's body, too. The pregnancy weight was mostly gone but not entirely, and the fullness gave his ex-Marine muscle a beefiness.

"Hey Dad," he said softly as he looked up from Jr to me. "How was work?"

I shrugged and sat down across from him. "Work's work," I replied without wanting to go into the stress of my day. Brade didn't need me to unload that on him. "Nice to come home to this."

Braden laughed. His voice was deep now, a man's grown voice, and sexy as hell. "To what?"

I leaned back. I was chubbing up in my trousers. It was inappropriate sure, but my son was so hot and the neglected sex drive was coming back with a vengeance. "You. Feeding Junior." I paused. "Is that wrong to say?"

Braden got what I was thinking. He shook his head. "I didn't know you were a milk guy."

"Never was," I said, thinking back to when Susan was breastfeeding. "It's you, Brade, the fact you give me this gift."

His voice got soft, emotional. "Let me put Junior in his crib, OK?"

I nodded.

I was in a weird mood when I went to the bedroom to get out of my suit. I felt like I'd sullied something good and perfect about parenthood. Maybe my son would be freaked out. I'd hung my suit up in the walk in closet and had removed my tie when Braden entered the bedroom, still shirtless.

"Junior left some for you, Dad," he said in a quiet tone that I knew was lust. "We doing this?"

I felt my dick rock hard in my briefs. Braden could probably see that beneath my shirt tails. "It's probably wrong, isn't it?" I said.

Braden stepped up. "Inside this house, inside these walls, it's not fucked up, Dad," he said. Throwing back the words I'd told him more than once. My heart beat double time and my breath stopped as he grabbed my hand and guided up to his bare pec. Brade had let his chest hair grow in and there was soft fur all around the swollen nipple.

"You get sore tits?" I asked as my fingers played with the fleshy nib.

He nodded. "Yeah, a good sore though. Means our son has a healthy appetite."

"Oh Brade," I hissed as I leaned in for a kiss.

When you're in an ongoing relationship, particularly with your own son, you can't really rank the sexual milestones, but this definitely ranked up there in hotness. Me and Brade connecting for the first time since the birth of our son. I plunged my tongue into his mouth and felt his flutter back against mine. I could tell he was horned up now, and as I felt up his full pecs, his own mitt reached down to grip my boner.

Braden was the one with willpower to pull back. I could see the erection in his loose shorts.

"I don't think I'm up for fucking yet, Dad, but why don't I lie back and let you nurse me?"

I nodded dumbly. Not bothering to take my dress shirt off, I watched Braden strip and get on the bed while peeled down my underwear to free my hardon. Already I was leaking, dripping clear sap steadily off the tip.

My son's dick was hard, rock hard as he lay back on the pillow, legs slightly spread and his hand cupping his milk-full chest muscle. "Sorry to make you wait for sex," he said.

"Buddy... you should never feel pressured," I said. "But I won't lie, I've missed this."

I crawled on the bed, on top of Braden. Part of me was sad I couldn't be inside him, but even the feel of his nakedness and warmth beneath me was incredible, particularly as our cocks touched.

We kissed, and I did my best to go soft and slow before pulling back.

"You sure it's OK if I have a taste?" I asked Brade.

He nodded, with a grin. "More than OK. The idea is hot to me, too, Dad."

"Fuck," I hissed. This was kinky as hell. But as I kissed along my son's neck and down that hard upper chest, I got crazy excited. My lips traveled along the softer, fleshier part of his pec, dusted in his hair, before I found that swollen nipple.

I licked and sucked at it. I could taste the sweetness there, but milk wasn't really flowing out. That was Ok, I guess. Junior had probably tapped that teat dry.

I felt Brade's hand on my head, massaging my hair. Then I heard his deep, masculine voice. "Kind of munch a little, Dad. Gently, then suck on it at the same time."

Fuck, my son was coaching me on how to nurse at his tit. It took a second, but I coordinated the actions and was rewarded with the flow of his milk.

I moaned excitedly as I tasted Brade's breastmilk, swirling it around my tongue, then swallowing as more came out. I learned to coax more out. It tasted different than what I expected but both rich and watery at the same time.

I was going wild, but it turns out Brade was, too. I could hear the urgent excitement in his voice. "Fuck, Dad, this is so hot! Do my other tit."

The right one was more swollen and raw-looking but Braden didn't seem to mind as I latched my mouth on it and suckled hungrily.

His left hand cradled my head while his right went down to stroke off. I wondered if I could get him to cum like this, but I realized I wanted more. It had been too long since we'd had sex.

Relinquishing his teat, I gave it one last soft kiss then scooted down to taste my son's prick. He was leaking like crazy - like father, like son - and when Braden realized what I was doing he let go other than to feed his dick to me.

It took five bobs and my son was spurting into my mouth and throat, hard. He'd been majorly backed up.

"Dad!" he gasped as he gave it up. "Oh shit!" The aftershocks were intense for him, so I finally pulled off, gently lapping the dribbles which kept coming.

He still had a horniness in his voice. "Want me to suck you?" he asked as I rose up to look him in the eye.

I shook my head. "Can I feel a little more, buddy?"

That made him laugh. "Leave some for Junior," he said but twisted to reach over for the lube in our nightstand.

I took the bottle and squirted some on my prick, kneeling up to show it off for my son. Brade always loved seeing my dad cock and I loved showing it to him. Maybe before long it could be inside him again.

But that would have to wait. I tossed the bottle aside and leaned down. I still couldn't believe the miracle of life and the way Braden's body was producing milk like this. I licked around his tit and then placed my mouth square over it.

This time I had the knack down. I suckled and felt and tasted the milk in my mouth. I didn't want to overdo it, so I just went fot it. Storking furiously as my son breastfed me.

I came hard. As I rode out my orgasm I finally pulled off, resting my face against his meaty chest.

"Love ya, buddy."

"Love ya, too, Dad. So much."

I scooted up and met him in a kiss. I'm sure he was tasting his own milk. Braden was still hard and I hadn't gone soft myself. Maybe we'd go for a round two but just then we just enjoyed the closeness and connection.

"Dad...?" Braden finally said.

"Yeah, Sport?" I said, massaging his Marine-buzzcut hair. We'd talked about what life was going to be like now that he'd served out his enlistment contract, but the stay at home dad thing was more and more appealing to him. And I was getting very into the idea of supporting Braden that way.

"You know I think you're an incredible father, right?"

I leaned up. "I guess I could see where this is going," I said with a wry sadness. I knew that while I'd done my best raising Braden, I hadn't always been the best dad.

He had a contrite look on his face. Maybe a little hurt that he had to be saying this. "I just want you there in Junior's life, maybe in a way you weren't in mine."

"Oh buddy..." I said, heavy in emotion.

He cocked a grin to defuse the heaviness. "Maybe you just knew the hard-to-get approach worked on me."

I laughed, which made Braden laugh.

"I'll do my best, son," I said more seriously. "I want us on the same page when it comes to parenting."

"We will be, Dad," my son said in earnestness. "I know I'm going to learn from you."

****

It was a month before I was fucking Braden again. It was even off to the races with the pregnancy talk during sex. But I didn't need to check up on my son's birth control pills to know he was taking them religiously. I could trust him totally. We'd talked about how we wanted another son, maybe two more, but we wanted a break and time to enjoy raising Junior.

And for all the ups and downs between me and my son as a couple, and yeah the occasional fights, I knew we were of one mind with what we wanted for our family.

[skzhua]

episode 3.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, exes-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 5.3k (not proofread yet!)

warnings: cussing, jealousy, heist (aka don't do that kids).

summary: despite you and min ho growing closer once again, he still sends you mixed signals about what he wants. and you don't know how long you can handle this back and forth. especially when you know you'll be spending seollal with him... and stella.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

As soon as you saw Stella, you pushed Min Ho away from you. She was beyond mad, she was hurt. Before you could say anything, she shook her head in disappointment and left as she disappeared into the school building. You looked at Min Ho, who was avoiding your eyes.

"You didn't tell her you weren't interested, did you?"

With a sigh, he shook his head no. "I didn't get to speak to her, let's say."

"A text, Min Ho, no?" you said in disbelief.

"The one I was really trying to text was not responding."

"Yeah, and you should have taken it as a sign maybe."

His Adam's apple bopped. "Then why did you kiss me?"

You pointed at him. "You're the one who kissed me."

"What? Why would I want to kiss you?"

It felt like a knife went through your heart. You were baffled that, only seconds ago, you were letting yourself fall in love with him again. Although he was noticeably frustrated with you, it wasn't hard to see he regretted what he said right after the words left his mouth.

"Sorry, it just-"

"Whatever, Min Ho..."

Crossing your arms, you held them close to your body. To this, he took his jacket off and wrapped it around you. Your face still showed anger but you did nothing to stop him.

"I'll talk to Stella," he assured.

"Yeah, and I will too. I'll say this was in the spur of the moment."

He scoffed. "So, it meant nothing?"

Your shoulders dropped. "What do you want me to say?"

His mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. Visibly, he was as confused as you were. And while you didn't hate it, you were afraid you only hurt yourself.

"Sure," he finally spoke. "It was in the spur of the moment."

The corner of your mouth lifted the slightest, a sign of gratitude. "Thanks. We're good?"

"We're good."

You shared a hug that you could describe as the most awkward physical interaction you'd had in life, and you went your separate ways, not forgetting to give back his jacket beforehand. By then, hunger had died down and the softness of your mattress was all you could think of. You dreaded the discussion you'd have to share with Stella, but you couldn't just stop yourself from going home.

When you walked in, she was on her laptop and sat on the couch. At the sound of you entering the place, she glared at you before focusing on the screen again. You slowly approached her.

"Hey, can we talk?"

She frowned. "About how you promised nothing was going on with Min Ho before giving me his number, only to kiss him right in front of me?"

Ouch. As much as you hated hearing that, you couldn't deny that she was pretty spot on.

"It's not what it looks like-"

She suddenly shut the laptop before looking at you right in the eyes. "Did you do it to humiliate me or something?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Then explain to me what is going on," she breathed out, her voice softening.

You allowed yourself to take a seat next to her. "Min Ho and I, we have a complicated relationship. I am trying my best to become his friend again, no feelings involved. What you saw earlier was nothing but a moment of weakness where we both fell back into old feelings. I swear, it was nothing."

She cocked her head to the side. "It seemed pretty passionate to me."

"I promise, it meant nothing. Have him all you want, I won't overstep again."

Even if you were more trying to convince yourself than her, she ended up accepting your explanation, thanking you for being honest with her. But were you?

You hurried to join Dae and Kitty as soon as you saw them in the crowd. Q had been showering the whole gang with messages about how the track meet was important to him, meaning he wanted everyone to be there for him. Your only surprise was to not see his face among the team, who was already settled for the track to start. Out of breath, you joined your two friends who seemed as lost as you were.

"This is crazy. Where is Q?" Dae spoke what everyone was thinking.

"I have no idea, but that is the guy he was all over last night at the club," Kitty pointed to one of the track members.

Dae scoffed. "Q ditched me for Jin? But he's Q's rival, and he's a big jerk."

"Yeah, well, looks like Q might have gotten played," you sighed before turning to take a look around in hopes to spot Q.

That when you saw Min Ho and Stella, seated in a very cozy manner on the bleachers. While Stella waved at you kindly, Min Ho stared at the floor, visibly ashamed you 'caught' him hanging out with the person he was supposedly not interested in — also considering he kissed you the day prior. You were not going to let it affect you. Like you had both established, it meant nothing.

Alex coming out to announce start of the race was enough to make you forget about that weird feeling in your stomach. "Runners, please take your marks for the 100-meter dash qualifying. The winner will represent KISS-"

"We have to do something!" Kitty exclaimed.

You nodded. "I have an idea."

Before either could question you, you ran to the track. You purposefully dropped your bracelet, one that belonged to your mother, and began to act distressed as you looked around the ground. You didn't hesitate to let out grunts of frustration and comments on your foolishness for losing your jewelry.

The crowd began to chatter amongst themselves, wondering why you were interrupting the race. Kitty and Dae were trying to tell you with hand movements to stop, but you couldn't let Alex start the run when Q wasn't here.

"Y/N, get off the track!" Alex called out.

Out of panic — well mostly because you ran out of ideas — you dropped on the ground, faking to have fainted. Frankly, the ground was quite comfortable as you closed your eyes, only feeling the wind grazing against your skin... and fingers?

"Y/N!" Min Ho yelled, worried. "Y/N, you all right?"

As he rubbed your shoulder, shaking it slightly to see if you were fine, you opened an eye to glare at him. "I'm trying to cause a diversion, dummy!"

His shoulders relaxed, but he couldn't help but roll his eyes. He held his hand out for you to grab, and by hearing Q finally arriving, you took it. Helping you up, he could only chuckle.

"What?"

"That's the last thing I'd have expected you to do. I mean, since when do you like being the center of attention."

It was your turn to roll your eyes. "I don't. But I care about Q, who should be both our focus right now."

You didn't let him reply as you joined your friends — and Stella, to cheer on Q. As soon as the race started, your eyes were fixated on him. He started out great, being the first up. However, it didn't take long for Jin to surpass him.

"Come on, Q," you muttered to yourself.

"Let's go!" Kitty encouraged.

Unfortunately, the cheers you heard were all for Jin who made it first. You still all clapped, although you were visibly disappointed.

"Have I been mean to Juliana?"

You groaned, throwing your book at the end of your bed. All you wanted was one morning without Kitty complaining about ruining Yuri and Juliana living together by letting it slip out in front of Principal Lee. So far, so good since you were the one to take Yuri's bed in their room. That worked out for you since you wanted to avoid Stella. Yeah, because Min Ho clearly did not turn her down and they continued to be 'a thing'.

"What did you do, now?"

"Nothing!" she almost yelled, making you jump. "She was eating her cereal, then I tried to confide to her about Praveena, but she just left. She said she had stuff to do but I think she's making up excuses. Did I say something?"

"Beside the fact you were the cause for Yuri to move out?"

She deadpanned at you. "Yes, beside that."

You shrugged. "She might actually have something to do."

She whined. "You're not helping."

"Forget about them," you said, getting off your bed and grabbing your school bag. "We have to get to the assembly anyway."

Min Ho: Y/N?

"Uh..." you stopped on your tracks.

"Everything alright?" Kitry questioned, trying to catch a glimpse of your phone screen.

"Yeah, you go ahead. I'll join you at the assembly."

She seemed unsure but nodded nonetheless before leaving you alone. You looked in her room to see if Stella was still home, and when you noticed no signs of her, you dialed Min Ho's number.

He picked up right away. "I thought you'd ignore me!"

"What do you want?" you cut right to the chase.

"I was just grabbing coffee before class. Since we don't live in the same dorm anymore, I just wanted to know if you wanted one."

You scoffed. "What about your girlfriend? What is she going to say when she learns you're getting your ex coffee?"

"Hey, we're still friends, no? And Stella's not my girlfriend."

You hesitated. But, coffee is coffee after all. "Alright. You know how I like it?"

"How can I forget?"

You could hear the smile from his voice and, ultimately, it made you smile too. "I'll join you in a bit, then?"

"Just hurry before it gets cold."

And so, you took off, not forgetting to grab your umbrella in the process since it was raining lightly. It took you less than five minutes from your dorm to the coffee trailer. Min Ho, in all of his glory, stood patiently next to it with two cups in hands and his hair slightly damped since he put his umbrella away until you arrived. He was rocking his body back and forth, visibly waiting.

"You could have gotten me a large," you commented, grabbing his attention.

He chuckled. "For you, m'lady," he held the coffee to you.

You grabbed it, glad to see it was still warm. "Thanks."

He opened his umbrella again and you walked side by side towards the school building. Taking a sip, you were more than happy to get warmed up. Plus, it was just how you liked it.

"The ones you make are still better," you pointed out.

"I know," he cocked an eyebrow. "I hate to say this but it is different without you at the dorms."

"Don't get all nostalgic, it doesn't suit you."

He sipped his coffee before shrugging. "It's a fact, though. I have nobody to bicker with."

Your eyes grew, offended, and just when you were about to give him a slight slap on the arm, you were quickly interrupted by his father.

"So, how's my favourite student doing?" Mr. Moon asked, only for Min Ho to react disgusted.

"A bit early for blatant nepotism, dad."

"I was talking to your girlfriend, the shark," he pointed towards you and you body stiffened.

"Sorry about that... again. And we're not-"

He cut you off. "It's okay, I loved it," he complimented before turning to his son. "So, have you decided about the cabin for the long weekend?" Noticing Min Ho only seemed confused, he continued. "Just you and me, one-on-one on the slopes? You used to love when I took you skiing as a kid."

"That was Joon Ho. Not me. Anyways, Stella and I have plans this weekend."

"Oh I thought-" Mr. Moon started, glancing at you for a second. "Nevermind. Well, it would be a shame to let this house go to waste, again," he said before leaving the two of you be.

"Y/N-" Min Ho started, obviously wanting to explain the Stella thing.

But you ignored it. "Your dad's not doing a Seollal get-together with the whole family?"

He sighed, upset by your avoidance but he still answered. "All my siblings are spending the holidays with their moms. Joon Ho is on tour, meaning I'm his last resort."

"I mean, he is still putting in the effort of asking you. Who knows, maybe it's a chance for you to-"

"Torture myself?" he interrupted you. "Forget it. We have an assembly to go to before class."

The assembly in itself was not so interesting, as per usual. Stella joined Min Ho, to begin with, which did not please you much. Especially seeing her hold Min Ho's arm the way you used to. Otherwise, Alex was trying his best to catch the students' interest, which was pretty sad to watch. Madison was being the Korean obsessed girl that she is. And Mr. Moon had to steal the show. He announced a student talent showcase at the end of the semester where the winner would receive a cash prize. At the mention of it, you immediately looked at Dae.

And by the end of the assembly, your friends seemed to have the same thought as they encouraged Dae to sign up for it, while Kitty and Stella followed behind the four of you, having a conversation of their own.

"You have to enter the contest," Q said excitedly. "You have the voice of an angel."

Dae nodded. "My family could use the money. But singing is just, like, my hobby."

"I got you, bro. I'll coach you. Manager-performer dream team, baby," Min Ho offered. "And, I won't even take commission."

Dae chuckled, remaining doubtful. "But do you think I could actually win?"

"Yeah," you and Q affirmed.

That visibly encouraged him. "Okay, then. Let's do it."

Arriving at the dance studio, you came to fetch Dae after he texted you. Apparently, Min Ho and Eunice were making his first rehearsal hell and knowing you, he hoped you could get him out of it. As you walked in, you were less than surprised to see Stella tagging along as she observed Dae dancing messily. You chuckled to yourself, leaning on the door frame to not disturb them. You wanted to see Dae suffer a bit, it was kind of funny.

"This isn't going to work," he let out, discouraged.

Eunice scoffed. "It is not my fault that you can't handle a little constructive criticism."

Stella sighed. "Okay, why don't you tell them your brilliant idea?" she asked Min Ho, not forgetting to touch his arm in the process.

You swallowed whatever feeling you were having as Min Ho spoke. "Well, I thought of the cherry on top for your performance. When the song ends, you spin around, bend her back, and lay one on her."

Dae frowned. "What do you mean, 'lay one on her'?"

"What I mean is..."

You wanted a show, you got a show. Spinning Stella around, Min Ho swiftly held her before bending her back, just like he had described. And he laid one on her. Their lips met briefly but the small gesture was enough to make your eyes water. What hurt even more was Stella's satisfied grin, like she had won something. Maybe she did.

"My boy's right."

You jumped at the voice while Mr. Moon walked in the room past you. Finally, Min Ho spotted you. You couldn't tell what his face was saying, but it was nothing good. It was a mix of shame, fear, guilt... And to be honest, you couldn't care less about how he was feeling.

"Your instinct is so spot on, son," he continued and Min Ho nodded, thankful. "All right, I won't distract you. I just wanted to say Baek Jong Won said he'll be happy to cook a dinner at the cabin this weekend. I know how much you love his ramyun."

"The famous chef?" Stella asked, stars in her eyes almost.

"Yeah, he's just a family friend. Think about it." He turned around to leave and smiled at you in acknowledgement as he went past you again. "Miss Park, always a pleasure."

"Your dad's really trying," Stella said, but was ignored.

"Where were we?" Min Ho went back to Eunice and Dae.

"I was just about to leave," Dae said, looking at you. "Sorry, I can't do this."

He joined you while the others called for him. Min Ho frowned, looking back and forth at the both of you but you just took Dae's wrist and rushed to get him out of there — get you both out of there. Deciding you both deserved food for each of your problems, you went to the convenience store to get some instant noodles together. You insisted that it was on you, and even if Dae tried to pay for himself, he ended up letting you take care of it.

Finally seated, you both slurped in silence, enjoying the flavours rather than speak about your issues. That was something the both of you needed terribly. But you couldn't avoid it for too long.

"I think I won't do the talent showcase," Dae stated.

You moved your eyes from your food to him. "One bad rehearsal does not mean you have to give up."

"Did you see me there, Y/N? I was a mess."

You shook your head. "You were definitely out of your comfort zone, but you weren't a mess. You had three people working with you, that's something. They know you've got what it takes."

He sighed. "I don't know... Ah, and sorry about Min Ho. I didn't know they would kiss in front of you or..."

You smiled. "Thank you for worrying, but I'm fine. You know just like me that it's hard, but you have to accept it won't be the same anymore."

He nodded in agreement. "You and me are pretty much on the same boat, yeah."

"Besides, I'm just glad he at least found someone nice and not some random fangirl."

You both shared some laughter. It felt amazing to spend time with him like this. You reminded yourself once more that he was a true friend you could rely on.

The moment was short as you phone began to ring. Both of you looked at the contact. Speaking of your exes, Kitty was the one calling you.

"What's up?" you answered.

"You know how quiet and subtle you are?"

You raised an eyebrow, unsure as to what she was saying. "I guess."

"I'm planning a small heist with Praveena, but we need help..." she said, trying to not sound too crazy.

"Kitty!"

"I need my mom's time capsule and the only way I can get it is by stealing it."

You shut your eyes, discouraged. "How did you come up with that idea?"

"It was Praveena's, actually. Please, Y/N, I really could use some help."

You breathed out. "You can sneak in without me."

"You know how to walk in a room without being noticed. I could use you as a guide!"

"Ugh... Fine, I'll come."

"Oh my God, you're an angel."

"I am aware," you chuckled.

"I do need one last favor from you, though. Please?"

You paused. "What is it?"

Dressed in dark clothes, you followed Kitty to the archives to join Praveena. For a date, this was... something for sure. You spotted the girl soon enough and she waved at you all.

"Oh, great. You brought the mouse and the muscle."

"I'm the muscle?" Min Ho asked and you lightly kicked his side with your elbow.

"Don't get too excited. Like I said, we just need someone tall enough to reach the high stuff," you snorted. "And Dae and Q were busy, so..."

"Hmm, are you sure it's not because you wanted to see me tonight?"

You glared at him. "After having to disinfect my eyes after you and missy's kiss, no thanks."

"Okay," Praveena stopped your bicker. "Huddle up, here's the plan."

You all formed a circle, huddled up, and it was hard to ignore Min Ho's hand placed around your waist. Of fucking course he was still sending you mixed signals while clearly being happy with Stella.

Praveena went on explaining the plan. You immediately got into action and she walked in, acting as a distraction. She exchanged with the old lady at the front desk before signaling for you three to get in. You discreetly crouched down and you rushed in, making as little noise as possible. Kitty and Min Ho followed your lead and you finally got in. You allowed yourself to stand up and turn on your flashlights.

"Why are we going through all this?" Min Ho complained.

"Because I have a whole other side of my family that my mom came here to find. So if this time capsule has a clue on how I can track them down, I have to have it," Kitty whisper-yelled.

"How touching," he said with no emotion whatsoever, causing you to bump the side of his body again. "Hey, will you stop?"

"Show a bit of empathy, here," you rolled your eyes.

"Well, personally, I'd love to erase the existence of half of my family."

Kitty let out a chuckle before going on about looking through the files. Meanwhile, you and Min Ho looked around aimlessly as you keep discussing.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but did your dad fund an entire arts program to spend time with you?"

"That's his move. Big, shallow gesture to make up for not being there. Like inviting me to a ski cabin for Seollal."

"I mean, do you want to fix things with him? I remember you telling me you do miss him," you pointed out, recalling one of your dates.

"I guess so," he admitted. "But... one-on-one time with him is always stressful. It'd be different if there were a bunch of family members around, like there's supposed to be on Seollal. Or even just very annoying and unpleasant people like yourself. As a buffer."

You hummed, faking a smile. "How kind of you," you said before joining Kitty, starting to get annoyed yourself.

He followed you and placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you. "What if we did that?"

You scoffed. "Use me as your buffer?"

"Well, you and the guys. And might as well ask Covey."

Kitty turned to you at the mention of her name. "Oh! I mean, it'd be more fun than hanging out here for the holiday."

You, for once, agreed. "Yeah, I guess. And we'll have your back if your dad's being difficult."

"Still looking out for me, how sweet," he joked.

"Like you said, I'm still your friend."

He was about to say something but noise coming from the front door made you all hide behind shelves.

"Professor Lee, I can assure you I know aisle 12!" Praveena yelled for you to hear.

"Wait, this is aisle 12!" Kitty whispered making you all change you hiding spot. While Kitty took the left, you and Min Ho too the right.

"Why are you shouting?" Mr. Lee asked Praveena. "I am perfectly capable of hearing you as well. I'm not as old as you think."

"I don't think you're old!"

You tried to peek but Min Ho grabbed you a which inevitably brought you back down. "Are you trying to get us caught?"

"I was just-"

He immediately placed his hand over your mouth to hush you. Meanwhile, his eyes glimmered with the little light there was. You began to breathe heavily and you thought he was doing so too. You did feel his hand getting sweaty and a blush a appeared on both of your faces.

"Y/N, about earlier-"

You stopped him, removing his hand from your face. "I'm happy for you."

He frowned. "No, I'm not-"

"I am, really. Stella seems to care about you."

"Don't fake being happy when I'm hurting you."

Kitty joining you lot made you push him away from you as you both stood on your feet. You hadn't even noticed Praveena and Lee were gone by then.

"Praveena just saved our asses. I mean, it's only our second date," she smiled but you and Minho exchanged a look.

"Date?" you scoffed.

"Kitty, she's sweet-talking an old lady whilst you're third-wheeling who used to be the hottest couple in school."

You buried your face in your hands, getting reminded of his cocky ass. "He just meant that it's not much of a date."

"Why don't you bring her skiing?"

Kitty shrugged. "That's kind of a big step." You and Min Ho sighed but Kitty's eyes then lit up. "Oh my God, I think that's it."

Following whete she was pointing at, you finally located the time capsule. Min Ho was quick to get to work, grabbing it for Kitty. Once you've acquired it, you lost no time in getting the hell out of there to join Praveena who was patiently waiting outside. Kitty ran to her for a hug.

"I cannot believe that actually worked. Oh, I wish I had a way to thank you."

"Oh, please," she brushed it off.

Again, you and Min Ho exchanged a look, knowing damn well that you were thinking the exact same thing. And of course, you hated that you still had this type of dynamic.

"Praveena, do you ski?" he asked.

"No, but I snowboard."

Kitty jumped in. "Any chance you want to come with us this weekend to Min Ho's dad's ski cabin?"

"You're inviting me to the Kris Jenner of Korea's vacation home? Hell yeah I wanna come."

"Cool," Kitty giggled. "I can't wait!"

They both began to walk away. As you were about to do the same, Min Ho stopped you by grabbing your hand. You immediately broke away from his hold.

"What?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Don't make this face with me."

"What do you want?"

Seeing you were going to keep the attitude, he spoke. "I know you wanted to cause a diversion the other day, but you forgot your bracelet on the ground."

He took it out of his pocket, presenting it to you. It was still as pretty as shiny as it always has been, maybe even more.

"Min Ho," you breathed out, taking it from him.

"I got it cleaned and I wanted to give it to you when we got coffee. But my dad kind of ruined the moment, so..."

You held it to your chest. "Whatever, I'm just glad I have it back. I forgot that's when I removed it. Thank you."

He nodded. "My pleasure."

He started to walk away, but you were the one to stop him now. "I... My aunt gave me a letter from my father. I haven't opened it yet and I thought we could open it together? I mean, it would definitely help me to read it and maybe it could help you with everything going on with your dad."

He couldn't keep his smile to himself. "I would love to."

The Seollal festival was something everyone had been looking forward to, but especially Juliana. Being the one who she shared her room with now, you listened to her nervousness about exposing her art more than enough. So when it finally came, you were ecstatic to not have to hear about it. And you were also happy for her, obviously.

"Thanks for helping me with setting up the booth."

"No worries," you smiled. "I do want to get food before it runs out..."

She laughed. "Go! Anyway, Yuri should be here any minute."

You ran to get any food you could lay your hands on. It went from Korean delicacies to traditional sweets. And man those sweets were good. From afar, you caught a glimpse of Dae. He seemed to have seen you at the same time since he was already signing for you to come join him. You made your way through the crowd and finally reached him. When you spotted Bora, his little sister, you saw she was eating the same one you had just gotten for yourself.

"Bora, look! We like the same things."

Her eyes grew. "Dae keeps saying it's too sugary, but I think he has bad taste."

You crouched to whisper in her ear. "Between you and me, I think you're right."

She laughed and Dae could only sigh. "Bora, that's your last sweet," he warned and she nodded.

As you sat down, you finally noticed the happy couple who was sat just next to Bora. While you gave Stella a warm smile, you bluntly ignored Min Ho. When you were alone, you were more than happy to be friendly. In front of his new girlfriend, however, it was better to not interact to avoid any argument — that included between you and him, them, or you and her. She was your roommate, you had to have her back somehow.

"Since when do you like children?" he asked.

"You don't know everything about me. That, or you don't pay attention when I talk."

You stared at him with mischievous eyes and he quickly caught on you were simply teasing him. Two could play this game.

"Try me."

Stella put her hand on his arm. "Min Ho," she said in a warning tone.

"What? I like a challenge."

You raised an eyebrow. "Rain check on that, your girlfriend's right. Save your knowledge for trivia night at your dad's cabin."

She seemed to agree with you. "That sounds fun, we should do that instead."

He huffed. "Fine, but we'll see who knows the other better."

The rest of the event went on smoothly surprisingly. Min Ho and you did bicker a lot but Stella joined in instead of being bothered about it. In fact, she and you kind of bonded over some quirks you could not stand about Min Ho. In a way, it felt bittersweet to know she was now the one to enjoy Min Ho's chivalry. On another part, bonding with Stella allowed you to see this as a new chapter. Yes, maybe there will always be a weird tension between Min Ho and you, but you knew you could go past it.

And now, it was time for ski.

"Have you packed?" Stella asked after knocking at your door.

"I just need a few more things and I'll join you."

"I'll be waiting at the cars outside."

You exchanged a smile and you continued to pack. Min Ho did mention there would be a hot tub. And Q did encourage you to buy that one swimsuit when you went shopping. That can never hurt, right? The only thing missing now was the letter. And for the life of you, you could not find it. You were convinced you left it in the bottom drawer of your desk but it was like it vanished into thin air. To say you were frustrated would be an understatement. You were on full panic mode. This was one of the last things your dad left before dying, and your aunt entrusted you with it. How could you lose it?

Seeing that time was passing, you concluded you'd have to look for it when you'd be back. Maybe ask Kitty or Min Ho to help you. Closing your suitcase, you grabbed your coat and headed out.

Only... when you opened the door... you were at loss for words. Not even that, you completely froze at the sight in front of you.

"Covey, cars are here. Let's go!" Min Ho yelled out as he bursted in your dorm.

When his eyes landed on Kitty and Yuri kissing, his reaction was identical to yours. Joining him, you were then noticed by the pair who showed nothing but shame.

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[karikitdemonrp]

Core sniffled while trying to collect himself, feeling his heart swell more. It felt so nice to be loved and wanted like this. The kitsune let out a happy sigh, nuzzling Kohaku's chest and letting his body relax. Core ignored the cool wind, moving so his tail covered himself and Kohaku, mostly Kohaku, to keep them from getting too cold.

"I love you so much. I'm so lucky to have you by my side." The kitsune whispered softly. He then gave Kohaku's cheek a gentle kiss, just enjoying the moment he had right there. On that bed of moss, entangled with his lover. It gave Core a feeling of pure bliss. The kitsune closed his eyes, wanting to just take his time and enjoy this moment. Kohaku did say the two could stay as long as Core wanted.

A little over an hour passed before Core nuzzled into Kohaku's chest with a happy moan. "Ko~Ha~Ku~, my love." He purred affectionately while looking into the demon slayer's amber eyes, tail moving to gently rub his bare skin. "I'm ready to go back. I'll make some tea and set up a nice fire pit for tonight so we can continue in a much more comfortable spot." He purred, giving Kohaku a gentle kiss on the lips.

The kitsune moved when he was able to get his clothes on, trying to be a bit slow in an attempt to tease Kohaku like the demon slayer would with the kitsune. Though he wasn't exactly the best at it, clearly nervous and a bit self conscious, he was clearly trying his best to give Kohaku a show. Once dressed Core stretched his arms and back with a groan, tail swishing in glee since it was a good stretch. He then went to pick up what he had killed and looked at Kohaku, waiting for the demon slayer to get his kill so they could head back to the village to prepare the skins and meat.

Kohaku’s heart clenched at the way Core trembled in his arms, the pure, raw emotion in his voice making the demon slayer hold him even tighter. He felt the warmth of Core’s tears against his skin, but he knew they weren’t from pain or sadness—no, these were the kind of tears that came from feeling deeply loved. And that alone made Kohaku’s own chest ache with something fierce, something undeniably tender.

He ran his fingers gently through Core’s hair, pressing a soft kiss to the top of his head. “Core, my love,” he murmured, voice filled with nothing but warmth. “It’s not silly at all. I want you to know how much I want you, how much I love you. You mean everything to me.”

Kohaku smiled as he listened to Core ramble, his heart swelling at how much care and devotion his kitsune poured into every word. He truly didn’t deserve someone this good. But damn it, he would spend his whole life proving that he did.

“I know you’ll always worry, and I know it’s because you love me. And as much as I tease, I love that about you. I love you.” Kohaku whispered, rubbing soothing circles along Core’s back. “So, if taking care of me makes you happy, then I won’t fight it. You can pamper me as much as you want when we get back.” He chuckled, pressing a playful kiss against Core’s cheek before tilting his head slightly. “But first, I think I’ll indulge you in your selfish request.”

His arms tightened around Core, holding him close, their bare bodies pressed together in the cool air of the forest. “We’ll stay here as long as you want,” he whispered, his lips brushing against Core’s temple. “And tonight, I’ll hold you just like this. I’ll keep you close, all night long.”

[karmaajr]

guys not the way I cried over my mum getting pissed at me outside our flat earlier and calling me a chav

for context, she called me on my phone a while back n started yelling at me n I was SO lost n turned out she only wanted me and my relative to go downstairs and pick up the shopping

n I tried to get our relative to wake up but bro js got pissy with me so I started stressing out on what I should tell my mum JUST when she calls me on my phone again

the convo follows:

-> *name* where the hell are you? it's freezing, I'm not getting all of this crap myself

-> my bad my bad, I'm uhm trying to find clothes to change into?? also *relatives name* won't wake up so what do I do??

-> I don't know! for God's sake do I have to do everything around here? just get down here

-> im still in my pjs tho...

-> I DONT CARE just come downstairs!! stop overcomplicating everything for once

-> okayokay sorry, I'll be down in a min after I find my coat

-> it's fine, it's pretty warm

i was kinda confused CUZ SHE LITERALLY SAID IT WAS FREEZING LIKE A MINUTE BEFORE??? but like, whatevs!! I still go find my coat though because like....... homie my pjs is a tank top and some thin pyjama trousers so HELL NO LMAOOO 😭😭😭

n I get downstairs after a bit n mum starts giving me stuff while giving me dirty looks and I'm like whatevs, she's probs in a bad mood cuz I was so slow n then MY DUMBASS makes the mistake of tucking my hair behind my ear 💀

which then reveals my collarbone more clearly and my mum absolutely LOSES HER SHIT OMG?!?! like girl starts screaming at me to zip up and starts saying how I look like a chav n like a....... ✨️paid adult fun timer in the making✨️ to make it PG for yall 😍😍

anyways like two minutes later our creepy neighbour pulls up and makes everything SM worse n even looks me up and down with a smirk while offering to "help us out while (my) baba is gone" as if im not literally younger than his eldest daughter 🙏🙏 (only by a year BUT STILL HOLY SHIT?? WE USED TO BE FRIENDS AS WELL SO IT MAKES IT SM WORSEE)

n ya the walk back upstairs adds to the shittiness of it all cuz mums talking shit about like, everybody in existence once again AND TALKING SMACK ABT OUR RELATIVE WHICH IS COMPLETELY FAIR CUZ OUR RELATIVE IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING OMG 💀💀💀🙏

anyways like half n hour ago I went to the living room (where my mum and sister are cuddling on the sofa watching some film that i wasnt told they were gna be watching so thats whatevs ig :D) after putting the kettle on boil and tried to check with my mum if she said what she actually said (cuz this happens a lot n she denies it afterwards which makes me feel like I'm going mad omg) and she starts laughing for like 2-3 minutes straight with me standing in the doorway on the verge of teats n my sister like "amma what word??? what word is she talking about????"

anyways I give up, pour myself some hot water after basically getting the confirmation and go to my mums room (2 bedroom flat and my relatives taken over my room atp) to cry LOL

then locked in a few minutes later BCUZ WHAT AM I CRYING OVER TF?!??!? STOP BEING A LIL BITCHHHHH????!? then I remember her absolute loathing for chavs and them lot, get upset again and blah blah now im listening to AMAZING ass covers on YouTube (on my ipad) n writing this so I can stop feeling upset omg 🙏🙏🙏 ANYWAYS BAI YALL WHO ACTUALLY BOTHERED TO READ THIS WHOLE THINGGG

[red-hibiscus]

THE Lee Taemin held the flag I designed so here's a rant from a shawol of 14 years

I got into SHINee in 2011 when I was 13. They were my first kpop group and to this day they are my favorites. They've always stood out and will never be overtaken no matter how many kpop groups I listen to.

I had just barely missed the last SMtown concert in nyc and I never thought I'd be able to see any SHINee related concert (excluding whatever SuperM was). SM certainly wasn't going to give them a tour. So when Taemin announced a world tour it felt like a dream. When I managed to snag that ticket I was shaking.

I had started making flags for some artists a year and a half ago for onlyoneof's tour. Just as a silly "lmao what I give them a pride flag" then decided "fuck it I'm gonna design an onlyoneof pride flag." Then I did it for Lucy (my 2nd favorite k-music act) for two different cities. It's addicting seeing your creations be so well received by fans and artists alike. It's my little selfish fan moment of something I worked hard on be acknowledged and loved by them with the bonus of making other fans happy.

So of course I had to make Taemin a flag, and when I got the ok, I knew exactly what to do. I wanted to show his progression as an artist. So I had two silhouettes. One from Lucifer and one from Move. Lucifer (my 2nd ever kpop song after Hello) we all know is so influential. The choreo is iconic and it set the stage for more difficult choreo in kpop. The legendary practice video that had people dizzy while they stared at Taemin trying to learn it. I was there too. And Move... I mean come on. Kpop is different post Move. We know how viral Taemin went for move. How everyone was and still is absolutely shocked. The androgynous (relatively slow) difficult and sensual choreo that only Taemin can do. And the music as well!! I've seen several kpop artists try similar styles after that. So Lucifer and Move were the obvious choices.

Seeing people slowly fill up the flag while they signed it at the pre-show party was so fulfilling. All the people whose eyes lit up when they learned the flag was going to be given to him. The anxiety they got when they tried to think of what to write cause there's no going back and it's gonna be given to their idol. All the compliments I got on my design. It brings me so much happiness.

To be honest I was kind of stressed. The actual designing/drawing of the flag wasn't too bad, but getting it approved and the uncertainty that the flag would be brought out for picture time had me going crazy. But they did. He held it. Lee Taemin... Kpop jesus... The idol's idol held my flag. And he was smiling. He loved it. He looked so good. It's like it was destined to be in his hands.

After he got it I was shaking. It actually took a bit for me to process it was actually happening. And then I cried (for the 3rd time that concert except harder this time) all throughout Say Less. Probably gonna get emotional every time I hear that song now. Thanks Taemin.

I don't know what artists do with flags they get. Store them in a closet, toss them away, give them to their company, idk. For now all I know and care about is that it's safely with him and he knows it exists. Maybe he'll read some of the messages. Maybe he'll read the messages on the postcard we gave him and smile when he reads my message. I'll never know. If he's happy, I'm happy.

[hypnonerd1095]

Contract

"Wake up Amanda"

Amanda blinked, confusion and drowsiness washing over her as she stumbled a bit, thankfully the man who had spoken to her was quick to catch her and steady her back on her feet.

"Easy there Amanda, I know it's disorienting, just take it slow. Good girl" the man said reassuringly

She shook her head a bit, trying to regain her bearings. She hadn't responded to the name Amanda for over a month now, it took a moment to even recognize the man was speaking to her, but being called a good girl sent a wave of calm and contentment through her that helped slow her thoughts enough to focus. That was right, she was Amanda, and this man had been her employer for the past month... what was his name again? The memory of that was fuzzy, the only name she could come up with was Master...

"Ngh... is it always this bothersome when we wake up?" Amanda grumbled, letting Master guide her to a chair as she rubbed her temples "no offense Master, but you should really work on this... also why can't I remember your name?"

Master chuckled "it gets easier the more used to it you become. This was your first time so it makes sense your thoughts are jumbled. As for my name, that's a bit of a safety precaution. Can't have you spreading word about this position around after your employment ends, everything is technically above board, but you never know what kind of protesters might show up on principle" he explained

"Right... the position... " Amanda mumbled "so I've seriously been your slave for a month? I can only remember bits and pieces. Guess that's part of it huh?"

"Yes, we can negotiate how much you do or don't want to remember. Some of my girls enjoy knowing exactly what is being done to them in their waking lives, some wish to leave their work lives separate. For trial runs like this we default to partial remembrance, in case you decide not to renew" Master said with a nod, providing her a laptop "feel free to confirm your payment was received and anything else you like. I'll have a servant bring you something to drink that should help. We can talk more when your head is fully clear"

Amanda nodded, logging into her bank account, wow, that was a lot more zeroes at the end of her balance than she was used to. Checking the transaction history, it was legit. Exactly the amount he'd promised, and a little more to boot for "extraordinary performance." She didn't know what that referred to but she blushed at the words, she had a decent idea.

A woman "dressed" in what one might classify as "underwear" if they were feeling generous came in with a plate of food and a fizzy drink. Amanda couldn't help but steal glances at the woman as she stood at attention, smiling down at Amanda blissfully.

"T-thanks" Amanda murmured, focusing on her meal. Is that what she'd looked like? The woman seemed so happy and content, didn't even seem cold from the lack of clothing.

It was hard to believe this job was real. Voluntarily be turned into a hypnotized slave for a predetermined length of time, all living expenses covered, and get paid a generous wage to use as she saw fit during her time off. She could even set limits on what tasks she'd be used for... though the less restrictions she placed on her service the more she was paid.

When Master had approached her with his offer she'd almost called the cops on him to have him carted away to an asylum. Only a sizable up front deposit had convinced her to humor him... but there was no denying it was real now.

When Master returned, he carried with him several different contracts. "Now that you've had time to clear your head, I've brought you options to review going forward. You can, of course, decide this job isn't for you. But you did quite well here, I'm prepared to offer you quite a generous starting wage." he said, putting the various contracts down in front of her.

Amanda looked over the contracts, various lengths, with varying amounts of time on and off duty. With what she'd made already she could easily walk away, this nest egg would carry her a long time. She could go back to her old boring job, serving customers with a fake smile, following inane orders from bosses who either didn't know or didn't care how impossible their expectations were. All for a pitiful wage that wasn't remotely worth it. It'd be better now, with these savings she had... but...

Amanda glanced at the slave next to her, that blissful expression mixed with arousal now that Master was here. Was being a hypnotized slave really worse than being a wage slave? She could feel like THAT all day, and live in luxury on her weeks off. Work this job for a few years and she could even retire!

She barely needed to think about it as she took the longest-term contract on offer, filled out her choice of restrictions, and signed her name. Probably the last time she'd be using her name for quite a while. Her Master smiled.

"Glad to have you with us, my Good Girl. Now then, slave A-42 activate"

Amanda smiled as the trigger took hold, she was going to enjoy this new job.

[starlightsuffered]

Wanna Bet

Warnings - SMUT, teasing, masturbation, lingerie, oral (male and female receiving), fingering, hand job, degrading, a bit of a sub dom dynamic (both roles for each), daddy kink, dry humping, over stimulation, unprotected sex, finger sucking, name calling.

"I was thinking the other day," Timothée began. We were cuddling lazily on the couch. I noted the cocky tone of his voice and I rolled my eyes. I was in for some teasing.

"You have never turned me down for sex," I could hear the pride and grin in his voice.

"Yeah, well, neither have you big boy," I said.

"It's different with you," he goaded. "I don't think you could resist me if you tried."

I pulled out of his arms and turned to my grinning boyfriend.

"Oh yeah," I asked.

"I'm pretty confident in my statement," he said, putting his hands behind his head.

"Wanna make a bet," I challenged.

"Sounds interesting."

"Alright, we'll see who caves from no sex first, but we can tempt each other."

Timothée leaned forward, interested in my plan.

"Okay, so let's set up the rules," he said, licking his lips.

"No touching erogenous zones as a temptation, that's cheating," I listed

"Alright. How about also we start slow and gradually ramp it up, more exciting that way," he continued.

"Sounds good," I agreed. Just the idea of this game was turning me on. "We also shouldn't get anything else involved. So like no flirting with someone to make each other jealous. It's just things we do."

"No problem," Timothée agreed. "I'll have you breaking within hours."

"We start tomorrow," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Well, if we start tomorrow...." He trailed off.

"Take your pants off," I sighed.

***

The next morning I smirked as I went for a jog. Timothée always fucked me after a run. He loved seeing the sweat running down my body, he loved the way I gulped down water when I came back. I listened to my sex playlist to get me in the mood to be sexy for Timmy today. I got increasingly more wet as I thought of what he might do to tempt me.

I got home, waiting for Timmy to come downstairs. I gritted my teeth when I saw he was wearing my favorite pair of sweatpants, and his hair was styled perfectly. I wanted to fucking pull those curls but I controlled myself.

"Hi baby," I greeted. He smiled at me in answer. I went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water.

"I just went for a run," I explained as I gulped down the cold water. I let some drops run down my chin onto my chest. When I put the bottle down, my partners eyes were on me. His eyes were dark and full of lust. I knew he wanted to take me right there on the counter.

Timothée sat down at the kitchen island. I noticed his fingers were completely decked out. He was wearing rings on nearly every finger. He was showing them off too, tapping on the island, spreading his hand out, clenching his fist and unclenching.

I walked purposefully to the freezer. I rifled through it to find what I was looking for. I grinned when I found what I needed.

I peeled the plastic covering off the popsicle. I stood on the other side of the island and sucked on the flavored ice. Slowly rolling my tongue over and around it, right in front of him.

"Mmmm so good," I moaned. I watched his eyes twitch as I continued to lap at the frozen treat. I could tell I was getting to him.

"Would you mind practicing this script with me," he asked, tossing the paper onto the table. I stilled, he knew how much watching him work turned me on.

"Certainly," I growled. It was hard as he said his lines with passion, I was shifting in my seat. I responded with equal earnestly, trying desperately to get him to give in. I was rubbing my thighs together as he said one of the most iconic lines of the movie.

"What's wrong baby," he taunted when I didn't say the next line right away. "Something, bothering you?" He asked.

"N-no," I stuttered and cursed myself.

"I just remembered I have to go shopping," I said, pushing the script to his chest. I was glad he looked surprised.

"You're leaving?" He asked.

"Yup," I responded.

As I drove I tried to think of all the ways I could tempt him. I knew a few things, but I wanted to up the anti. I needed to win this.

I got new lingerie at the store. I also picked up some essentials, but I made sure to get some sexy bras and other things to help my mission.

When I came into the house with my bags I hoped Timmy had not been plotting. I was disappointed.

"Hi angel," he said. "Sorry, my friend asked me to watch their kid while they ran to the store."

I was breathless. Timothée with children was so sexy. He knew all my weaknesses. I bit my lip as I put the bags down.

"I can take her, so you can rest," I offered desperately. He shook his head, insisting he was the one who had pledged to watch the child. I NEEDED to take the small girl from him or I'd pounce on him as soon as their parent came back.

I watched in agony as he laughed with the small girl. He read her a story. He even played dolls with her. She commented positively on his bejeweled hands and Timothée smirked at me as she did.

In thirty minutes, the parent came back, thanking Timmy for volunteering to watch the child. I sat on the couch just watching him.

"I think that counts as using someone else to tempt me," I snapped as he shut the door.

"Nah," he said. He sat down on the couch and stretched. I couldn't help but appreciate his body as he bent this way and that to crack his back.

"That tired me out, care to take a nap with me?" He asked. I knew it was dangerous, but I was insanely riled up. I needed to touch him in some way. I nodded. We went to bed together. Timothée could fall asleep so fast. I desperately tried to find sleep while his hard on pressed against my thigh and his breath ghosted my neck.

I got out of bed early, unable to take the contact anymore. I took a shower, but Timothée was awake when I came back in. I bit my lip.

"Hello, Mon Amor," he said sweetly. He came to me. He kissed me deeply and I realized I'd never made a rule about kissing specifically. I kissed him back, hungrily. I felt his hardness against me. I desperately wanted to love on him, but I also wanted to win.

"Have I ever told you, you are the light of my life?" He asked and I was shaking with need. He truly said the nicest things. I dropped my towel instantly.

"Oops," I said, and bent down slowly to get it. When I came back up I was happy to see his pupils blown out with lust as he watched my every move.

"Can I borrow your eyeliner," he blurted.

"Why?" I asked cautiously.

"Wanna try it on," he smirked.

"I don't know," I hedged

"Why, does me wearing eyeliner bother you in some way? Does it have an effect on you?" He asked moving closer. I mentally cursed myself, I couldn't even remember when I'd told him I liked him with eyeliner.

"Not at all," I said quickly and went to go get it. I knew I was going to have to work harder now. While I was getting my eyeliner, I also sneakily grabbed my vibrator as well from my desk drawer.

"Here you are," I pressed the eyeliner into his hand forcefully. I was still naked and his eyes roamed my body once before exiting to the bathroom.

A/N- so this is where I interrupt you. I have split this into two parts. One where Timmy wins and one where you win. Please read the one you want, or both :)

Timothée wins

Before I could continue my plan to get on my lingerie, Timothée called for me from the bathroom.

"Can you wait a minute?" I asked desperately.

"Nope!"

I mumbled something about impatient actors as I made my way to the bathroom. My mouth dropped open when I saw what he'd done.

"Thought I'd try this on again," he smirked.

He was wearing his Oscar's outfit, complete with eyeliner. He must have remember we'd had some of the best sex of our lives when he'd shown me what he was going to wear. I was nearly drooling, my arousal pooling in my panties.

"Fuck it," I said and grabbed him by his jacket to me. I kissed him hard, and he was smirking into the kiss, knowing he'd won.

"Timmy, please," I begged.

"Please what?" He pretended to be none the wiser to what he was doing to me.

"Fuck me," I pleaded. He was on me in seconds, slipping off the robe I'd put back on. I was pushed up against the bathroom wall.

I sighed contentedly into the kiss as my fingers wound into his hair. I pulled at his curls like I had wanted to all day. I was trying desperately to grind myself against him, trying to get some sort of friction.

"Soooo desperate," Timothée drawled darkly. "So needy for my cock."

"Yes, so needy," I whimpered in agreement. He shook his head and tutted, but reached down to insert two fingers into me.

"Timothée," I screamed. He was laughing now, so cocky, so damn proud of himself. I couldn't bring myself to care as he began to move his fingers in and out of me.

"So wet, and I've hardly done anything. You must really like me," he taunted. I nodded eagerly as he curled his fingers.

"Ah, ah, ah," he chided. "I'd like words please, tell me how I make you feel."

"So good, so good daddy," I knew the name would rile him up. He growled low in his throat, fingers picking up their pace. He pressed his thumb to my clit and I moaned, legs shaky.

"More, tell me more," he egged me on. "Who do you belong to? Whose slut are you?"

"I'm your slut, I'm your whore, I don't want anything but you, I need your cock!"

"No," Timothée replied, as he continued to massage my clit and move his long fingers in and out of me. "Say my name."

"Timothée," I gasped as his other hand came up to play with my nipple. "I belong to Timothée."

"That's right baby," he cooed. "Couldn't resist me could you? Couldn't stop getting wet for me, all for me eh?"

"Yes, all for you, only for you," I panted. He bent down to take my nipple in his mouth. I was moaning, desperately trying to grind against his hand. His fingers hit a sweet spot inside me and I cried out as I tumbled into oblivion.

He removed his hands from me before I could react, and then he was on his knees. I gasped as his tongue came in contact with my heat. My legs were shaky but he braced his hands on my thighs.

"Tim?" I questioned, but he didn't answer. He continued to slurp and lap at me expertly.

"You're so good at that," I moaned, head leaning back against the wall.

"You're going to make me come again!"

A few more swipes of his tongue and he caused my orgasm to crash into me. My legs shook furiously as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through me. My walls clenched on nothing as he removed his tongue.

He was still smirking cockily as he wiped his mouth and stood up.

"Please," I begged.

"Please what Mon Amor?" he teased. "I can't read minds. How can I know what you want if you don't tell me."

"You know what I want," I clung to him in desperation. "Fuck me. Fucking impale me with your cock. I want you in me, so deep, please. I need you."

My words had made his jaw clench. He smashed his mouth against mine. He was grabbing handfuls of my ass. He shrugged off his sparkling, lacy jacket. Next came his pants and my mouth was watering at his hardness.

"On your knees," he demanded.

"But daddy, I want you inside-"

"Knees first," he commanded, knowing I'd do whatever he wanted. I dropped to my knees and took his long, thick length into my mouth. His hands were pulling at my hair as I worked on him.

"That's it baby girl, just like that, fuck."

I was gagging, saliva running down my chin. I moaned so that vibrations ran up his cock. I wanted him to feel good. I wanted to worship his cock like he deserved.

"That's enough," Timothée groaned, and I popped off him.

"Come here baby girl," he coaxed, and I was more than willing. I stood on quivering legs. He massaged my nipples as he rolled his hips into me. Finally, finally, he was sheathed inside me.

I cried out as he began to move. Only he could go so deep. Only he could fill me so full. As he moved he sucked on my neck and I pulled on his hair in bliss.

"Look at you," he chuckled. "So dreamy," he ran a finger over my cheekbone as I whimpered.

"I was right wasn't I, you can't live without my cock."

"You were right Timmy, can't breath without your cock. I want you in me all the time. I want your cum so bad. Will you cum for me?"

"I may," he said, and I whined. He moved his hand down to my clit.

"I think I want you to come first though," he said.

"Too much," I moaned, as overstimulation took over.

"S'not too much, you can take it baby. You're so good for me. You want to please daddy don't you?"

"Yes!" I gasped, in seconds I was experiencing my third orgasm of the day. My walls were clamping down on Timothée's cock and he moaned before spilling into me. I was rewarded by hearing him pant and moan as he fucked me through his own orgasm.

Finally, we both stilled, breathing hard and looking at one another. Timothée moved forward to kiss me gently.

"I love that you can't resist me," he murmured against my lips.

You win.

As soon as Timmy had left the room, I got out the bag from the store. Quickly, I put on the lingerie. I grabbed my vibrator and laid on the bed.

"Ohhhh," I moaned as I pressed the tip of the vibrator to my clit. Relief washed over me as I finally got some sort of pleasure.

"Timothée," I groaned out. My boy sped back into the room, eyeliner only half done. His mouth fell open at the sight of me.

"That's right Timmy, just like that, oh, oh," I was putting on a show, but it did feel good. He had licked his lips at least a dozen times. His eyes were wide as I continued to moan and squirm, my breathing fast.

"Arg," he growled running a hand through his hair. "Fuck it!"

He pounced on the bed, snatching the vibrator from my hand, turning it off, and tossing it somewhere.

"You don't need that," he snapped.

"Oh," I taunted. "And why is that?"

"Because I'm a million times better," he said.

"Prove it," I goaded.

He completely removed my lacy thong that I'd pushed to the side for my activity. He was kissing and sucking up my thighs making my breath hitch. Then he was diving in. He was feasting on me. His tongue was like magic as it swirled in me, tasting, and lapping, and sucking.

"Good boy," I praised as I put my fingers in his hair. I pushed his head down, grinding against his mouth. I moaned his name when the cord inside me snapped. I was seeing stars as my orgasm washed over me. I swear I could even feel the pleasure in my teeth.

Timothée lifted his head, my juices covering his mouth. He was staring at me so hungrily I nearly shivered.

"Come here you." I said. I pulled him to me and then flipped us so I was on top. He laid under me, eyes following my every move. I began to circulate my hips grinding down on him. He was so hard beneath me.

"You like that?" I asked and he nodded with a moan.

"So hard, you been hard all day baby?"

"Yes," he gasped with need.

"Look at you, so desperate," I chuckled. "I bet I could make you cum in your pants from just this."

His eyes were squeezed shut with pleasure, but I saw him nod ever so slightly. I grabbed his chin with my hand, making him look at me as I dry humped him.

"Suck," I ordered as I placed my fingers near his mouth. He gladly took them into his mouth, sucking on them as I ground against him.

I moved off of him, pulling my digits from his lips. He whined at the lack of contact.

"Hold still," I ordered and grabbed the eyeliner he'd left on the bedside table. I held his jaw tightly as I finished his task for him. He obediently, didn't move.

"There you go," I said, and began pulling down his sweatpants. He sighed with relief when I pulled down his boxers. He was so hard I nearly gasped as he sprung free. I began to moved my hand up and down his length as he squirmed and moaned.

"Needy huh?" I said with mock compassion.

"Yes," he panted.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" I asked.

"Want you to fuck me. Want to be inside you. Need to feel your pussy," he begged and I chuckled.

"So what you're saying is, you can't resist me?" I challenged.

"N-never," he stuttered as he bucked up into my grasp. He was rewarded by me straddling him and sinking slowly down onto his cock.

"Oh fuck," he nearly shouted.

"I love how big you are," I complimented as I began to move. I bounced on his cock and he was a mess of moans and half formed words.

He lifted his hands to my lacy bra, feeling the peaked nipples underneath. He somehow managed to get it off so his hands could knead and massage my breasts.

"You're so worked up baby," I laughed as I rode him.

"You're so wet, so tight," he praised.

"See I knew you wouldn't make it. You're such a whore for me."

"Yes, use me," he begged. "Fuck me anytime you want, anywhere. Make me yours over and over again."

I groaned at his words and leaned down so he could take my breasts in his mouth. I continued to ride him though my thighs were burning. I lifted up off him to the tip and slammed back down. He cried out.

"I'm gonna cum, baby you're gonna make me cum," he whimpered.

"Then cum," I said. "Show me how good I make you feel."

He fucked up into me and with three more thrusts he was gone. He was whining as he emptied himself into me, moaning and mewling from his pleasure. He looked so desperate I came after him, my walls clenched him delicately.

He stilled as he came down with heavy breaths. I smirked down at him.

"You didn't even last a day."

[imagineweasley]

Puppy Love: Part II

Sirius Black x Fem reader

summary: you and your friends are fascinated by animagi and one day, decide to take a risk and become one. it proves to be an interesting experience - one day you are wandering the forest when things take a turn and secrets are revealed...

read part 1 here!

y/n: your name

y/h: your house

y/c: your color

submit a request!

author's note: a valentines' day present to my valentines! here's part 2 of puppy love :) also - THIS ONE GOT SO LONG TOO! this part is a big slow but i had to cut it off somewhere and i'll try to get part 3 out sooner. buckle in!

@hellokitty-girl666

-

Y/n's POV

My task was simple. During Herbology, I'd sneak over to where Professor Sprout kept the mandrakes and sneak three leaves. Somehow, I had to get them without the bloody things screaming at the top of their lungs, so my plan was to find three fresh leaves that they might have already dropped, or else I'd have to go to plan B. I did not want to go to plan B.

We'd scoured Advanced Potion-Making the night before, reading the steps over and over again so that we could commit them to memory. Callie had wanted to write it down but Ellie and I vetoed that idea; if we got caught, one look at the list would reveal what we were doing.

Under the list of items and instructions, there was an extensive list of disclaimers:

DO NOT ATTEMPT UNLESS OVER THE AGE OF 17. DO NOT ATTEMPT UNLESS AT/SUPERVISED BY A WITCH OR WIZARD WITH ADVANCED MASTERY OF POTIONS. IF STEP 3 FAILS, WITCH OR WIZARD MAY HAVE PERMANENT WHISKERS.

We ignored those, especially the whiskers part. The others had their own tasks, of course. Callie would be collecting the dew from somewhere "neither sun nor human feet have touched," and her best guess so far was to go to the Forbidden Forest to collect them. One of us would have to go with her, of course, there was no way we'd let her go in there alone. Ellie on the other hand, would have to get a chrysalis of a death-head's hawk moth. We were stumped because what the hell is that? After some research, we realized we would not be able to obtain it ourselves, and would have to find some underground tactics. I had no idea how she would pull it off, but if anyone could, it was Ellie.

It was the next morning now, and Callie and I were headed to Herbology. "You ready?" Callie whispered to me while we hugged our books to our chests and tramped to the greenhouse.

"Ready." I kept my eyes forward, not wanting to attract attention to us.

When we arrived at the green house, we found a spot on the far end of the green house, where the mandrakes were tucked into a corner to reduce the risk of a clumsy student falling into them and causing a chorus of brain-splitting shrieks. Callie tood right in front of me, stepping on my foot.

"Ow! Callie get off!"

"Sorry!" She whispered, panic creeping into her voice, "I'm just trying to make sure no one sees you!"

"Alright students, gather around!" Madame Pomfrey marched into the greenhouse and motioned for people to come closer, "I hope you all have good reflexes, as today, we'll be studying the Devil's Snare." There were a few "oooh"s as the students gathered around the small cut of the vine and Professor sprout bent over it. I, on the other hand, saw this as the chance to snatch some leaves and backed away from the group as discreetly as possible towards the sleeping mandrakes. I whipped around to the pots for my target, heart thumping. I scanned each pot for what I needed, but it looked like the mandrakes were perfectly in order. Damn. Of course they were in perfect shape, there was no way Sprout would ever let them - hold on. A flash of green caught my eye, tucked behind one of the mandrakes. I leaned carefully over as to not disturb it, and saw two leaves. Bingo!

Very slowly, I reached my fingertips in between the plants and managed to grab the them. I breathed a small sigh of relief, but it wasn't over yet - I still needed one more.

I looked over my shoulder to see if I had been spotted, but all I saw were students' backs and Callie shooting nervous glances back at me. I shot her a look that said Turn! Around! and she huffed but listened. Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the plants in front of me. I searched in the dirt once more for one, JUST ONE more leaf, but there wasn't any. I even scanned the ground below the table, but no luck. Disappointed, I returned to the group.

"... usually grow so large that they can trap large humans, and they try to trick you with these lovely flowers..." Professor Sprout was holding up the pot to show everyone the budding white flowers. I tried to pay attention but all the possibilities of plan B were reeling endlessly in my brain. In my peripheral I could see Callie shooting me nervous glances but I ignored her and stared as hard as I could at the plant, wishing it could strangle my thoughts.

-

We huddled in the corner of the library for a rundown of our progress.

"Alright girls, how did it go today?" Ellie blew a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes out of the way. I sighed.

"Only two." I mumbled, and she looked slightly disappointed but seemed to push it aside. "Okay! That's two more than we had this morning!"

"Yeah, but now I'll have to do plan B." I had really been hoping that it would be a one-and-done situation.

"Y/n, you've got this!" Ellie touched my arm encouragingly, "I would help, but I have to go find Jessup Daniels tonight. I've heard whispers that he has a gift for sneaking things into school for people for a price, things that no one should be able to get their hands on except for the most shadowy wizards. No one knows how he gets them, but I figure out of everyone, he'd know where to get those chrysalises."

Callie and I nodded in agreement. "He looks like he'd know how to get things like that." I said under my breath and the girls stifled giggles, earning some very pointed looks from the students around us. "Plus, I know that James Potter has an invisibility cloak on him," Ellie patted her bag indicating she already had it stowed away, "I heard them talking very loudly about it. Those boys aren't so subtle are they?" Ellie rolled her eyes. She had the most contact with those boys than us, being in Gryffindor house too, so it made sense that she had gotten her hands on something like that.

Sirius's face flashed across my mind at hearing James's name. For a second, I saw his dark gray eyes scrunch up with laughter, I felt his fingers against mine. I imagined just what would have happened if I had let my hand linger... what it might have lead to... what else his fingers could do....

"Y/n. Y/n!" I heard Ellie calling me and shook myself back to reality. "Do you need to use the cloak tonight? Maybe we can stagger when we go to do -" I shook my head. "The greenhouse is only a little bit that way and it'll be dark, no one will see me." Ellie nodded in agreement.

Callie surprised us by saying she'd already gotten her hands on her dewdrops. She merely shrugged, saying, "I have a lot of practice in 'borrowing' things and the Potions cabinet is a sitting duck, what can I say?" I nodded, impressed.

My watch caught my eye. 8:30.

"Alright girls," I made a motion to get up, "I should start heading out. It'll be dark and it looks like it's starting to sprinkle out there." Tiny raindrops were dotting the window next to us. Ellie and Callie followed suit and nodded seriously.

"Godspeed." Callie saluted me with mock seriousness.

I saluted her back, then quickly gathered my schoolbag that I had brought with me to stuff the leaf in. My nerves had suddenly turned to excitement - I had never done anything more than getting messy drunk at common room parties, maybe smoking a joint here and there and raiding the kitchen. I had been such a rule-follower my whole life - suddenly, I was excited to get my hands dirty. Hiking my bag higher, I quickly left the library, but maybe I shouldn't have been so fast. I never noticed the gray eyes watching me.

-

Sirius's POV

It hadn't even been a day since my run-in with y/n when I spotted her at the library. She and her friends - I think their names are Calliope and Eleanor? - were in a huddle, whispering furiously. I let my eyes linger on y/n as I made my way over to the only open table behind her armchair.

I plopped my bag down on the table, internally groaning. I never came to the library of course, I have better things to do with my time, but I had gotten into a small scuffle with James in Potions because he wouldn't leave me alone about y/n and gotten myself 10 points from Gryffindor and a foot and a half on the properties of belladonna. Huffing, I yanked out my parchment and quill when the words invisibility cloak and y/n's voice caught my ear.

I could barely hear what she was saying, but if I strained, I could hear her whispering, "The greenhouse... it'll be dark..."

The greenhouse? What could she possibly need to do in the greenhouse? Not only that, but in the dark? From my years of admiring her from afar, I knew that y/n isn't one to be sneaking around after hours. I kept straining my ears to catch more of the conversation without being too obvious, but all I could hear was Callie talking about some potion. Then, they all got up and I ducked my head, mind racing with ideas of what they could possibly be planning. Callie saluted y/n, and y/n started walking out of the library. I ducked behind a shelf to watch her leave, mind still racing about what she could be doing. I returned to my table and Ellie and Callie had gone too.

"What in the bloody hell..." I sat for a moment staring at my empty parchment, trying to focus my mind on this stupid paper, but gave up. I jumped to my feet, stuffed my belongings into my bag, and decided to go back to Gryffindor tower.

There was no way I'd be able to get y/n off my mind.

[rthornewrites]

She looks just as dumb and slutty when she opens her door as when you told her how dumb and slutty she looked, two days ago. Long blonde hair, tits practically popping out of her button down shirt, a skirt barely long enough to cover her ass. The perfect model of a dumb slut.

She lets you in without question, leading you to their kitchen and fixing you up a cup of coffee when you demand one.

Finally, when you're taking the first sip of the frankly perfect coffee, she says, "So, you have an offer for me."

"I do," you say, drinking even more coffee. "I know when we were in high school you had all sorts of ambitions," you say with faux sympathy, "but clearly they didn't work out for you, so I thought I'd make you a proposition: you be my dumb slut, and I'll make sure you're taken care of. As taken care of as you need to be."

"I see," she says. "And how do you plan to do that when all you can think about is your drooling pussy?"

"What?" But even as you ask, you can feel the slow slide of wet between your folds, the way your clit is swelling up and your cunt is starting to ache with emptiness. "What is--"

"Don't bother thinking about trying to touch yourself," she says, and any thoughts you might have had about that disappear like so much smoke in the wake of the overwhelming need between your legs. You squirm in your seat, unable to keep your hips still. "All you need to think about is how wet and needy your cunt is. Are you thinking about that?"

You nod. It's the only thing you can think about, that throbbing empty ache between your legs and the way that you've already soaked through your panties. Your hips start rocking, looking for friction, for anything, but it doesn't fill that needy hole inside of you.

"I'm not a dumb slut," she says. The rim of a mug is pressed to your lips, and you drink from it until there's nothing left to drink. "But you are about to be. Your entire life is about to me that dumb hole between your legs, and as long as it's empty, your brain will be too."

Your thoughts start to slide away, until everything is just sopping dripping wetness and need. It's the only thing that matters.

"For now," she says, "just stay there and leak."

And you do.

Eventually, she has you stand up and takes off your clothes and fits you with a locking chastity belt with a plug that slides in so easily to that drippy pussy of yours, and as your brain starts to come back to you, she explains that you're her dumb slut now, and the only way you can think well enough to go out in the world is with her plug filling up your stupid cunt.

[scottofchromia]

I’m so sorry Jimmy, I’m so sorry. I love you.

[keeps-ache]

need to be exploding something but i Can't for some reason. just Can Not. my ability to do is just. Nay

[bladeofthestars]

.

[thebibliosphere]

To be clear, unless staff trips over the trail of extension cords keeping the servers running, Tumblr likely isn't going anywhere any time soon.

What the info we've seen suggests is that updates are going to slow down, maintenance is maybe going to get a little shaky, and we're going to see more glitches as time goes on and the remaining staff gets further behind their workload.

Is this a good thing? No, absolutely not.

Should you be panicking, jumping overboard, running for the hills, etc? Also no.

So what does it mean?

Well, for myself and several other creatives you all saw tagged in that post, it means we're looking around trying to figure out what to do in the long run. We're not running for the lifeboats. We're just eyeing the iceberg in the distance and getting our shit together in the event that the worst comes to pass.

Speaking for myself, I intend to crawl through the walls of Tumblr until they pry me out of the air vents armed with a broom and oven mitts. I'm not going anywhere until the lights go out, and even then, I'll be chewing on the wires.

But that doesn't mean I'm not looking around for somewhere to land when the time comes.

Myself and several others are not panicking about this, but we are trying to be organized about it.

I'm just old enough to remember when fandom websites being nuked overnight was a very real thing. You'd go to bed one night and wake up the next day to find friends you'd known for years were just gone with no means of contacting them because the site you'd been using got wiped. Entire collections of fandom history were just destroyed in the blink of an eye.

We don't want that again. And the good news is, we have time. We have time to back up our shit, time to swap contact info with our friends, and time to find a new place to exist within our communities while also staying here because Tumblr ain't dead yet.

She's just slowly going to wind down over time.

Unless, of course, they trip over the cables. Then we're fucked.