#And we're supposed to be doing research and picking the topic

[watery-melon-baller]

im just a girl who hates her degree and open ended projects and is being faced with a horrible assignment

[studywithsilver]

19.08.2024

Realised that I have only 2 more weeks to finish my Econ assignment but all I've been doing so far is research on the topic since we haven't gone through macroeconomics in our lectures...at this point, I'm not even sure which topic to focus on. HRM has somewhat been fun though, I think I've decided which tutorials I want to reflect on for my reflective portfolio I need to submit as an assignment. And for Business Law. Well. I have made some progress on the assignment and we're supposed to submit a formative by the 30th...sigh. Had management accounting revision this week, there was no one else sitting the MCQ mid-term I had missed last semester, so it was just the lecturer and I, but I cleared my doubts, so yay :)) I'm almost done with the book I was reading though, I'm glad I made a good book pick.

[ebonysplendor]

Where Winter Crows Go Review ❄️🐦‍⬛

TL;DR: Chaga mushrooms ain't the only thing that Crowe be foraging, but this time he doesn't want to share the spoils with the squad for research purposes.

Game Link: https://prikarin.itch.io/where-winter-crows-go

Notable Features: Gender Neutral MC, Optional Reader-Insert with choice of pronouns, Yandere LI, 17+ Spiciness: 1/5 -- It gets a little flirty, but it's sweet and innocent LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Manipulative, little hands on, has a temper

Want to know more? Well, let's get into it!

Okay, so, the full release finally came, and ya girl was SO excited! The demo was very promising, but I needed a little more convincing. That being said, this wasn't by any means one of the one's that I was the most ecstatic about, but I was still excited enough about it to check back occasionally for the full release. I just so happened to get lucky recently and saw that it had actually dropped back in November. So, I was late, but not embarrassingly so. Now, this review on the other hand... But listen! I just recently decided to take the plunge and start making reviews, so mind ya business lol.

Anyways, this isn't about me and my tardiness, this is about this pleasant little game that really went for it in the full version, and boi, did they go for it!

I'd classify this as one of those "slow burn" visual novels, simply because it's not obvious that our LI is a lil' psycho off the rip, and there's nothing too unsettling from the jump aside from getting caught in a blizzard. Actually, since we're on the topic, the LI -- his name is Crowe Lynn, by the way -- is actually pretty damn hospitable, and he's a full blown scientist. The most shocking part is, he isn't even doing anything sketchy! for the most part. He is deadass living in the middle of nowhere for research purposes and is writing books to know why nature is...well, naturing, for lack of better wording.

That being said, I think the intro is long enough, and I'm really excited to tell you more about this game, because you guys have got to play this whenever you get the chance! As always, I'm going to tell you as much as possible about the game without ruining the game itself.

So, boom. We're -- or Aspen, should you decide to play through their eyes, but I prefer self-insert -- going on a trip in our favorite run down car to get to some town where there is supposed to be this really nice place to let off some steam via skiing. Trust me, we did research on this; we know what we're talking about. Anyways, while driving, we start noticing how we've been on this same road for a long time, and yet, we haven't seen anybody for an equally long time.

Run down car? Long road? No one for miles? You already know what's about to happen.

Yep, you guessed it, we get a flat, and as you've also probably guessed, we have no spare tire, but bear with me! The game isn't this predictable, I swear! You've gotta understand that it can just be a little hard to get away from certain tropes, and let's be real, they kind've have to happen for plot purposes. I mean, think about if we actually had a tire in the trunk. We would've been outtie, we would've had a great trip, and there would've been no game lol. Sometimes, you just gotta cut the devs some slack.

Anywho, so yeah, flat tire and no spare. Naturally, we hike it to try to find some help, but the weather kind've picks up, and the clothes that we have, while appropriate for the cold, aren't adequate enough for a full blown blizzard. No worries though, because guess who comes to the rescue? This guy!

Everybody, this is Crowe. Crowe, this is everybody.

As you'd expect (I know I keep saying that, but lmao it's not a overly predictable game, I swear!), Crowe is this really chill dude. Actually, more than a chill dude, he's a massive nature nerd. That's actually why he's out in the middle of the woods anyways! Like I mentioned before, he's researching why nature be naturing, specifically -- at least, his current topic from the way it was worded is -- partial migration. If you've never heard of that, don't even worry about it, in the game he explains it to us. Like, I'm telling you. This man is super into this stuff, and we love a smart man.

Getting away from that though, he basically ends up telling us that the town that we're in is pretty much deserted with the exception of like 13 other people, and because of the blizzard, the time it'd take to clean the roads, the likelihood of there being another blizzard right behind the one that just happened, and cleaning up after that blizzard, getting to our planned destination just wasn't going to happen. ...Well, shit.

What are we going to do then? Our car has a flat, we can't travel, and there's not any resorts nearby. No worries though, because the bae came through! He said "Oh, you can just stay with me!" Oh wooooooord???

So guess what we do? Make ourselves cozy in this bomb ass cabin. I'm not even exaggerating about that. Like, this cabin is REALLY nice! Take a peek!

That's just our room and the hallway. You can only imagine how bomb the rest of the place looks. Like, I'm telling y'all, it's super cozy up in here. But we must stay focused! And by we, I mean me, because I could go on and on about how nice this cabin looks.

Back to the topic at hand though, we've agreed to stay with Crowe, even though, we honestly don't have much of a choice, but it was just dope that Crowe was cool with everything. That being said, during our stay, we do all kinds of pretty cool stuff! We go foraging with him for chaga mushrooms and winterberries, we create some powders to add to other stuff, and we make some medicines. Everything was going super smoothly ... until it wasn't.

Crowe kind've has...a weird temper. Like, we had accidentally gotten hurt, and he had gotten super pissed about it. We love a man that cares about his guest, but he was a bit overdramatic about it. You'd think we would've lost a limb or something. The main thing that got him really pissed, though, was when we had mentioned our car and implied leaving. He did not like that, and when I say we got into it bad? Oh, the insults were flying. Like, look at this!

So, yeah, we fought, and what about it? It's whatever. Forget him...

...Actually, we felt really bad about the whole thing, and so did he. We talked it out, and everything was all good again; however, now he's acting really weird, we're getting really suspicious, and we still have to get home. That being said, we call it an early night, borrow one of his books, and pretty much make a gameplan so we can figure out how to get home as well as what the hell is going on that is not only making Crowe act weird, but what is going on in general.

And we do! We sneak out the next morning and ... we actually make things worse because now, we're REALLY confused. I'm not going to get into the details, but just know that there are more questions than answers at this point. So, yeah, while the investigating helped, it only helped a little, and I genuinely mean only a little.

One thing that we know for sure though...

This man is definitely crazy in love with us.

And that's all I'm going to tell you! Lol I'm sorry! But if I tell you the rest, it'll literally be the ending, and it'll ruin it! You know how much I want you guys to play it, so no way am I going to spill the details, but like most visual novels, how it ends is completely up to the choices that you make.

Guys...the full game delivered.

I prefer choice heavy visual novels like Darling Duality and Forcefully Yours, but this still wasn't bad by any means. I actually thought it was quite good! Like I said, the most shocking thing to me about all of this is that this man is deadass a scientist! Like, he really isn't doing anything entirely sketchy out there! That was the biggest plot twist of the century to me! But, anyways, letting go of that. Let me tell you more of my thoughts on the game, and why I feel like you should play it whenever you get the chance.

The visuals are absolutely stunning, first and foremost. So far, my favorite VN visual wise has been Mushroom Oasis, but this is definitely a solid number 2 spot. I absolutely adore the art style. I also appreciate the revamp that they did with Crowe. There is nothing wrong with femboys by any means, but to me, Crowe was a little girly looking, and he very much so looked like a small child lol. Like look at the difference in this.

This is the old Crowe Lynn

And this is the new Crowe Lynn

Lol you see what I mean? He looked like a child that wanted to be a scientist when he grew up versus the actual adult him that chose science as a profession. The redesign was definitely a good choice, and I love how he looks now, especially with the longer hair and worn out lab coat. What do you think, though? Which did you prefer?

Aside from that though, you know what one of my favorite things about the game was? The fact that -- and listen close, because this is about to be a tip! -- the endings that you get are based more on how the character feels about Crowe versus how Crowe feels about us. How curious is that?

In a majority of visual novels, the endings are literally dependent on how far we push the LI or their affinity for us, but it's not like that in this one. We get a different ending based on if we trust him or not, if we flirt back with him or ignore his remarks, and some other factors that I don't want to include and possible spoil the story. I just thought that was a really interesting take, and that was super creative of the developer. It was definitely refreshing to play as more of myself and base the gameplay on my -- or rather my character's -- feelings versus playing for the LI and his feelings.

With all that in mind, I definitely say give this game a go! It has a nice mystery/suspense to it, and not to mention, there is a really bomb song during the credits. I was so sad to see that it was not on Spotify! Well, let me clarify, it IS, but it's not available to me which sucks ass. It's not even on YouTube, and it hurts me so bad! Ugh!

Anyways, in case my feelings and opinions weren't clear -- play this game, play this game, play this game, play this game! As always, be sure to leave your comments on the dev's page if you feel like they've done a good job, and you want to give them that extra reassurance to keep making games. Of course, donations are always helpful to them as well! Like mentioned at the very top, here is a link to the game so that you can play it for yourself, and I really want you to play it for yourself!

That's all from me! Drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Where Winter Crows Go

[youwontlikethisblog]

Armando Mendoza: A Brief Analysis

Hey, how are you? It's been a while. This will be a lil update so if you want you can skip down to the [GREEN] to start with the post :)

It's been a hectic few months. I finally decided to stop setting it aside and get real about my writing and begun the tedious task of editing the final draft of my original manuscript. I'm a perfectionist(Although if we're considering my posts about YSBLF as an example of that, than you wouldn't expect it lol. I suppose that's what I get for writing post when I haven't had a lick of sleep and don't stop to take breaks while writing the posts and then, half brain dead, I sit down to "edit" the grammar). When it comes to something that truly means a lot to me I do not feel satisfied until it has reached my exact expectations. I've made a few updates on my writing and how it's been going. There's some exciting development on it but I want to wait a little more to be able to fully talk about it and share the news with y'all.

That being said; I still have not continued watching YSBLF since the last time I did a post about the show, y'know, life and all but without further ado, here is the post :)

Armando Mendoza: An Objective and A Not So Deep Dive

Now that I've had some time and space away from the show, I can look at the characters in a more objective manner. I've been considering a lot of things regarding them and I feel like this post might come right out of left field —seeing how I normally seem to "defend" Armando, or some might assume I do— and this post will most likely not do that. In reality, it won't. It'll rightfully so call him out.

See, the stark difference between Marcela and Armando, not personality wise, but writing wise, is that Marcela doesn't really have a backstory. Her past is pretty blurry and the very few clear images we get of it always paint her to be the exact same person. However with Armando his past, while also not clear, is more visible and a little bit more precise than hers. In the post I made for Marcela I wasn't as empathetic as I should have been.

Marcela's past is basically unknown and the very little information we do get doesn't paint her in the best of lights. However, that doesn't mean that she deserved or that what Armando was doing to her was okay. I should have said that in her post. I placed a lot of emphasis on the fact that while Marcela had a right to feel what she did, she didn't have a right to act the way she was. Feelings are valid, actions are not.

Well same goes for Armando.

Armando could have been dating a helicopter as a girlfriend, someone who was possessive and controlling of him, but that doesn't justify nor excuse his horrible behavior towards her. While yes, one could assume that his cheating had to do with his lack of control with life, it still doesn't justify or excuse it. Nothing, ever, justifies cheating.

As I said in the Marcela post: This isn't about her so I won't be explaining her reasoning, her behavior, her actions, or anything of those sorts, therefore, don't take it as me excusing her bad behavior. It's simply being mentioned.

With modern times come modern solutions. Nowadays it's very easy to be able to pick up your phone and google something, read a self-help book, find the root of your childhood trauma and even a therapist. Child development isn't easy to understand to the naked eye and you have to have years of experience on the subject to fully understand how point A gets to point B. I'm no expert of it, just done some basic research on certain topics of childhood trauma and such so while I might have some form of understanding, it's not an exactitude on the subject.

We can estimate that Armando had emotionally absent parents, witnesses how his parents turned their backs on his sister for falling in love with a poor man and the way the elite society they're a part of was about the whole subject. How do we draw to this conclusion?

His father doesn't even know what he went to college for or what he got his degree on. His mother coddles him, only when he acts to her standards, enables a horrible relationship that does not benefit neither her biological son or her basically-adopted daughter. Quite the contrary the show does a good job at showing the drastic parallels of Betty's relationship with her parents compared to Armando and his parents. Consider the fact that any time Armando is on screen with his parents they only talk about two things: His relationship with Marcela and the company.

They don't sound like the warmest of parents do they?

I talk a lot about being a writer and how knowing your characters IS one of the most crucial and important parts of developing your story. I mention this because when you write characters, fleshed out ones, you have at the very least an understanding of their past. Not an exact one, but an understanding in order to have them say the things they do and act the way they do.

Roberto was always cold towards Armando, from the very start. He clearly showed signs that he didn't very much care for him. He cared more about the company, his wife, Daniel, Marcela, Beatriz, and then, at the very end, Armando. With obvious reasons we understand why Roberto didn't trust Armando. It's always been told that he's always been a player, doesn't commit, and is immature, plus with the devil on his shoulder he calls a best friend, Armando isn't the most trustworthy.

Yet, that does not excuse Roberto's lousy father role in his son's life. Children need strong(by that I mean emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually present) male role models in their lives, especially father figures. I've said it before that it could be a possibility that Armando's childhood was very much with an emotionally distant father. This creates the perfect breeding ground for a child to constantly feel like they must excel in every part of their lives(perfectionism), have an anxious attitude, a fear of losing the love of their loved ones if they aren't excelling(low self-esteem), and other difficulties. Basically this ball of fear, resentment, anger, perfectionism, and anxiousness(being avoidant) . These issues on their own bring their separate problems that mixed together make for an unlikeable person. I don't know about you, but this sounds a lot like Armando.

Of course there's people who grew up with emotionally unavailable parents and grew up to be fully companionate, kind, loving, and wonderful people. That's the tricky thing about trauma, not one size fits all. Just because two people grew up the same doesn't mean they'll deal with it the same way.

Emotionally absent parents equal physically absent parents when it comes to their children's development.

His mother was the same, though, unlike Roberto, Margarita did love Armando and was present but very conditional with her love. You can have examples of this when Armando and Marcela would be fighting. She always took Marcela's side and pressured Armando to continue the relationship. She also guilted Marcela into staying with Armando. She was never there to comfort her son when he was at his lowest or even before. She was just only ever present in his life and made an effort to talk to him when it came to his engagement to Marcela. Plus, the whole causing Camila to divorce her husband and move to a different country fiasco.

Armando did a fine job of taking after his parents, as he is a perfect reflection of them.

There's one thing that Armando said that has ran laps around my brain for a while now; "I know I did things wrong, damnit I always do!" outside of el Meson.

He's aware of the things he does, even if it's at the heat of the moment, Armando is a self-aware jester, who never cared enough to change until he lost everything.

This change, while outside forces moved him to change, were not the reason why he changed. That's another message that is lost with this show.

Armando didn't change because he fell in love with Betty. Armando only learned to be brave enough to be the person he always aspired to be, because he fell in love. Doesn't matter who he fell in love with, he simply did. The love he received from Betty only taught him to be brave enough to love the same.

The same way Betty was naïve to how depraved any man can be, whether educated or not, rich, poor, or from a "high" society or lower class, Armando too was naïve to what was actually good and bad because he never really had parents that cared enough to teach him. Now this in no way frees Armando from accountability. Lets not forget that the whole point of his personality at the beginning of the story is that he sucks, and is a horrible man.

[TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED ONE.]

Sex addiction is a serious addiction. As I've mentioned before, in one of my earliest posts, that Armando shows to have signs of it but I'm no expert so I wouldn't say he does. For example, his affairs often cause issues in his relationship, his professional life, and for himself. While he's aware of all the risk that these affairs cause in his life, he still part takes in them! These are all signs that he has an addiction. However, I don't think that was the intent behind this part of his personality when he was being written, simply there to show how he was a Casanova of sorts.

These are all things I've already talked about in different posts but I wanted to dive a little bit deeper here in case some people haven't read those.

Let's get to the real juicy stuff now.

Armando's horrible, terrible, abusive, treatment of women.

Yeah Armando defended Aura, he wasn't a misogynist, and he didn't abuse his position of power nor assaulted any women(not talking about the constant harassment of Betty after she found the letter yet). Still, Armando was abusive.

He constantly manipulated women into believing he was serious about them just to use them, he gaslit —not only Marcela but all his side chicks— people in order to control a situation, and at times even got physical. Let's not forget the hair pulling, choking, and dragging of Karla, Marce, and Larson. Let's not forget Betty! While he never hit them, the way he acted, was not okay!

Armando was aggressive, he was controlling, and he was manipulative. God, he was awful!

There's no excuse or even a justification for him in this part.

While you can argue that his intentions weren't to harm those girls, he still did it. The moment they didn't behave to his standards, he removed his "love"(infatuation) from them. Does that sound similar to a pattern? like someone else? (Margarita).

However Marcela for this instance was a victim of his. His constant cheating made her so controlling, resentful, and bitter.

A cycle starts somewhere. Whether it be Marce being possessive from the get go of their relationship or Armando cheating first, somewhere the cycle began.

One thing I want to make clear is that both Marcela and Armando were abusive and victims of each other.

From the start of the novela Armando isn't a good person. He's horrible. However, he was meant to be charismatic, which would cause people to over-look those red flags.

There's a lot of sides to Armando's character and that's what makes him complex.

There's obvious reason as to why Armando, in a sense, has some redeeming qualities compared to the people he's surrounded by. You know, he feels remorse for the way he acts, especially towards Marce and Betty. He feels the pressure of not letting his parents down and the responsibility of keeping people employed. However, even if it's remorse, the problem always lays in the fact that he doesn't truly change.

In this half of the post I'm focusing more on his relationship with Marcela.

I've talked about reactionary abuse, toxic relationships, abusive tactics, and patterns in all of my posts regarding Armando and Marcela. I've explained in a simplified way and yet I feel like some people either reject the idea or only want to blame one party.

What makes Marcela and Armando's relationship toxic and not D.A. is that they both enable each other and their bad habits. See, even if Armando were the one that started the conflicts, Marcela also acts out abusively. Basically they up one another in any fight. As if saying "Oh so you're going to threaten to leave? Fine! Then I'll ruin your life! If you leave me it would be like losing my parents all over again." while the other responds with "Marrying you is simply a favor to you! If you speak up about this than the wedding is off!" get the idea?

Marcela enables Armando by acting out in her rage, further pushing him to act out in his cheating and gaslighting. Armando enables Marcela by his cheating and gaslighting. They both feed the cycle and reject any accountability for their actions.

What makes this drastically different in what a typical D.A situation in where the abused reacts abusive(aka mirrors their abuser) is that they BOTH switch sides. One moment Armando is the abuser, the one with the upper hand in the relationship and then, the next, Marcela is the one that is being abusive and in control. Often times they bounce off each other. It's not Armando constantly and only being the Abuser with Marcela mirroring him. They BOTH DO THIS.

However, at the very least, Armando at the end of the series took accountability and broke the cycle.

When you write two explosive and complex characters meant to be together you have to separate them from each other. By this I mean that Marcela is her own person away from Armando, just like Armando is his own person away from Marcela. Together, however, they are a volcanic eruption. While, for Marcela, this can translate to just being passionate and intense, for Armando it can be an absolute tragedy that must continue in order to keep every party of people in his life "happy" while in the end, at the very least, he has his affairs to give him something.

Together Armando and Marcela are a horrible duo because all they do is cause harm to one another. That's what makes their relationship toxic, not one sided abuse.

One can argue that the ONLY reason Marcela acted this way was because of Armando, meaning, if you remove the cause of the problem, the issue would be resolved, right?

Not entirely as we're often shown and told that Marcela is this way with everyone. She keeps up with public appearances for the sake of their elite society but she treats people outside of her economic class poorly, en fin she treats anyone that isn't to her standards poorly and inhumanly. What does this tell us? That she on her own is toxic and abusive so even if she were in a healthy relationship, her prejudice and expectations of things causes her to be this way.

Armando was a cause of the problems in the relationship! That's where the tricky part and what makes them complex, is.

We know that Armando and Marcela were basically forced to be together, or groomed. From a young age all they've heard is how they must be together to unite the families, how her dead parents wanted that more than anything. That's placing a lot of pressure on two people.

However, even if this were the case(which it is) Armando's go about and treatment of Marcela was not okay. For the sake of this post let's say that Armando is the reason Marcela is the way she is(meaning we ignore her personality all together). He caused her to be possessive, controlling, toxic, and cold. Marcela was once a kind and sweet person who did nothing but show devotion and adoration for him, and Armando's constant cheating and lying pushed her to be this way.

Armando could have handled it a lot better. If he felt obligated to be with Marcela from the get go, he could have at the very least, like the very minimum treated her as a human being, and not cheated. That's the very least she deserved.

Obviously, we don't know how the start of their relationship was like. All we know is that when they got engaged that he made a promise to Marcela to be faithful and that Marcela knew about the affairs. We know that Armando and Marcela at least had somewhat of a "happy" relationship, despite the affairs and fights they'd get into. (Which this on it's own establishes that Marcela was fully aware of Armando's unfaithfulness before their engagement, that and his promises to be faithful show us that it's been a problem for years.)

Let's consider this; If Armando fell for Betty when she was ugly SIMPLY because of the adoration and devotion she had for him, why didn't he do that with Marcela at the start?

Had she held this devotion and adoration for Armando from the start it would imply that Armando would have fallen for her, same way he did with Betty, and therefore Marcela would have never turned out to be the way she did, right?

Let's be honest here. That's the sole reason why Armando even began to have some sort of confused emotions towards Betty. It made him feel good, boosted his pride and ego, and tide with the fact he trusted her, he liked Betty. So if Marcela would have been the same way at the start, don't you think Armando would have felt the same? Therefore he wouldn't had cheated on Marcela?

Again, that sounds like I'm solely blaming Marcela for the dissolvement of their relationship but I'm not.

Armando is part/responsible for Marcela's possessiveness in their relationship and there's no excuse for it.

What is cheating and why do people cheat?

Cheating can range from emotional intimacy with another person that isn't your partner to physical. The physical can range from simple hand holding to full blown intercourse.

(source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-people-in-relationships-cheat/#:~:text=The%20participants%20admitted%20to%20cheating,desire%2C%20and%20situation%20or%20circumstance.)

In the article linked as a source it mentions that most partners cheat due to a lack of validation, love, or due to neglect in their relationship. What does this tell us?

While cheating is not a valid response to whatever is a lack in a relationship, there's always a valid reason the person feels the way they do. Let me say that again. Cheating is not valid, but the emotions of the person who is cheating, are. Cheating is not valid, but emotions are. What does this mean? (Unless we're talking about a narcissistic abuser. In that case, no. They are not valid) This is overall just a an idea of why cheating occurs in otherwise "healthy" relationships.

If you feel like your relationship lacks validation, love, neglectful, abusive, or there's no spark or desire: LEAVE or go to couple's therapy and work on it with your partner(EXCEPT FOR THE ABUSIVE ONE. LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! LEAVE! There is help for you.).

Emotions are valid, actions are not. A person's feelings are valid but that does not excuse nor justify cheating.

While Armando's cheating was a huge reason why they had fights and arguments, there had to be a reason why he cheated in the first place and while his emotions were valid, his actions were not.

His cheating could have very well begun at the start of the relationship feeling as if he had no real control over his life because of his parents persistent push for him to be with Marcela, which means it had nothing to with Marcela, everything to do with his parents, and ultimately this caused Marcela to be so possessive. Or it could have simply been Marcela who was like that from the start because she too had to deal with the ever guilting of Margarita's "this is what your parents always wanted, for you two to be together and unite the families." In all honesty the real villain of this show is Margarita.

Yes, their relationship was a paradox of sorts. If they broke up, Armando would lose the presidency, the company would dissolve, his parents would hate him, and he'd be a failure. Marcela wouldn't have really lost anything except Armando.

We can go with the 'could have' and 'should have' or 'what if's', but at the end of the day all we've got is what is actually canon in the show and not just speculation.

A few weeks ago I saw this video on my IG feed of FG talking about the ending of YSBLF. He said he didn't give them their happily ever after, since Armando was Betty's executioner(verdugo).

If the writer himself is saying that Armando wasn't all that amazing, I suppose that means he wasn't.

Yes, Armando went through a redemption arc but even then, Armando wasn't the best person. He was simply a better version of himself. He learned to be honest, to view people as his equals, women as humans and not properties, and to be selfless and caring, that's a huge difference from the Armando from the beginning but Armando was still neurotic. He was still a control freak, and was prone to his anger outburst.

However, this is realistic! Armando didn't change to be the perfect man that was deserving of Betty. He came to be real. He had his traumas and he was healing from them. The love of Betty didn't fix him, contrary, when she stopped showing a pure love towards him, osea, removed her love from him, Armando had no other choice but to LEARN to love properly. In order to do that, he needed to revaluate himself, his goals, his life, and what had pushed him to such a low point in his life and the ironic thing is that Armando's low point wasn't him drunk and suicidal at the bar that night. Armando's low point was the moment he agreed to manipulate Betty in order to retain her devotion and the company.

The downfall of Armando began the moment the novela started. It was a slow trickling drip from the throne he believed he deserved for simply existing and just as that, so was Marcela's.

Unlike with Betty, who was basically seduced to be bad, Armando and Marcela's downfall began from the very beginning.

So many people dismiss the abysmal abuse that was plain in the novela when it's the women acting out this way but are quick to crucify any male who acts the same way.

Now, I'm not saying Armando was only a victim of circumstance because that's not true. If I believed anyone was a victim to circumstance I'd say it was Marcela or Betty.

Why?

Because Armando, with chest puffed in pride, cleared headed, and sober CHOSE to manipulate these women. That's the abhorrent part of his character. That above all he always wanted to save his own skin and while his feelings were complex as to why, at the very end of it, he didn't want to deal with the repercussions.

While Armando wanted to be good, to prove he could be good, to himself, Marcela, and his parents, there lacked a true conviction in him. He felt like he needed to be good in order to have his parents love and approval and one of those things was that he also marry Marcela but he didn't feel inspired to be good.

There's a difference between knowing what's good, wanting to do good, and feeling inspired to be good. See, with inspiration comes motivation and with motivation comes action.

Writing complex characters means that good motives are acted out wrong. It means that bad motives are disguised as good acts. Not fully good, not entirely evil.

When you get to know your characters the rest of the story comes to you naturally and by that I mean that the actions they take, the words they speak, how they are, kind of rolls out of you naturally. You need to know your characters before you sit down to write your story.

Armando's actions are horrible. He was abusive but he was also a victim and I know someone is probably wondering "well why aren't you talking about the way he was towards Betty when she found the letter?" and that's simple.

Armando perfectly mirrored Marcela and Betty perfectly mirrored Armando.

I mentioned this in the Marcela Valencia post but I'll try and talk a bit more about it here.

Armando's constant abuse and violation of Betty is an exact mirroring of Marcela, however, he still chose to act this way knowing that instead of drawing Betty closer to him, that he'd push her further away and while in moments of lucidness Armando attempted to resolve the issues he had with Betty in a calm manner, she wasn't on the same page.

Armando chased Betty all over the place, threw jealousy fits, and forced himself onto her. Marcela did the exact same to him.

However, here's the tricky part of it.

Betty.

Betty was the perfect mirror of Armando. She lied to him, manipulated him, and "cheated" on him. The same way he was towards Marcela.

Obviously this is a simplified version of it but it's the same thing at the end of the day.

Had Betty never acted this way, would Armando have treated her the way he had?

To a lesser degree, I do think so.

I think he would have manipulated her and that he would have thrown some jealousy fit here and there.

See the thing is that if Betty had never given him a taste of his own medicine Armando would have never changed. No matter how much he wanted to or how badly he was in love with Betty.

Armando, to his core, was a coward. That's what he was in the story. Due to this he resorted to manipulation and cheating.

While some of his actions were due to some sort of trauma or the fear of rejection, and came from a place of hurt and self-preservation, Armando still acted wrong.

At least at the end Armando took accountability for his actions and somewhat changed his ways. Was he deserving of getting the girl? Not entirely but was Betty deserving of getting Armando? Not entirely and see that's the problem with writing romance.

Often times the most important bit of the story is cut out because "people don't want to see the reconciliation, they just want to hear about it. "

From what I know, Betty never took accountability for the way she treated Armando after she found the letter and this I will later discuss whenever I get around to watching YSBLF and write a post about the episode but in simpler words: Betty chose to exact revenge on Armando and yes, her emotions were so valid! but her actions were not!

Betty treated Armando the exact same way Armando treated Marcela.

Lastly, I've said Armando is a complex character from the start and while that may be true, this complexity does not excuse his horrible behavior because complexities never do.

Well, I hope y'all enjoy this long over due post, and I apologize for the long hiatus on the YSBLF breakdown posts.

Also, again, sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, I'm working on it! Lol.

'Til next time :)

[alexandraisyes]

For fanfic writer ask game:

🤗🤩🍦

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

It's not a contest, or a competition, and don't get hung up on statistics. If you're not enjoying a story you're writing, or hitting a roadblock it's okay to put it to the side. You don't need to feel guilt about leaving something behind if it's causing you stress or you just aren't having fun anymore.

Take breaks during writing, get up, stretch, walk around, drink some water, you'll find that your stamina lasts longer. Try to write a little every day, it doesn't have to be for your current fic, but you'll find the longer you go without writing the harder it is to get back into the habit. Pick up journaling, document things from your day, challenge yourself by doing new literary techniques.

Read shit. Not just other fanfiction, read whole ass books. Big ones, old ones. Read classic novels, read modern series. Read Shakespeare and Charles Dickens and Stephen King. Stay up late absorbing the works of the masters, expand your vocabulary, learn new words. Follow that niche interest that you stay up at 2 am reading about. Do research for your fics.

Never say no to an idea. If you have it, it's a good one. In art and writing bad ideas don't exist. There's no such thing as failure, just keep pushing. If you aren't satisfied try again or adjust it to make it work. Even if it makes you uncomfortable, even if you think it's too happy, write it out anyways, put it to the side, keep it for later in case you need it. There is no such thing as a story being "too dark". It's okay to write about uncomfortable topics.

Learn what "romanticization" means. There's a lot of fear in fandom spaces about "romanticizing" dark topics, because obviously no one wants to offend victims of horrible situations. Romance and romanticize are not the same thing. You cannot romanticize a situation in fiction, because romanticizing is reserved for situations that happen in the real world, or sincerely wishing a fantasy would play out in the real world. Fiction will not reflect upon your reality, you are not romanticizing uncomfortable topics by writing about them.

Figure out what your afraid of. Bleed that out onto the paper for raw emotion in darker moments of your writing. You'll find you work best with tragedies and horrors you've already lived through.

Kudos and comments are nice, but don't forget that you're writing for your own enjoyment. This is a hobby, not a job.

If you struggle writing on your own find someone who has similar ideas as you and write with them. And for stars sake, get a beta reader. You will thank me later when you don't find 5 typos in one paragraph because you never reread it after editing it at 2 am.

I just got an ask for 🤩 and this is getting long so I'll answer that one in the next ask.

🍦 What's the sweetest fic you've created so far?

Okay so Sweet Tooth isn't out yet, we're working on chapter uhhh 5? It was supposed to be chapter 4 but we decided to add a chapter in between this one and the last, and I'd say that one is pretty sweet and wholesome. It does deal with some sensitive topics, so I'll have to say overall my "sweetest fic" is Errors In Resentment, which is a friends/qpr fic about Eclipse and Ruin. There is a second chapter planned but I started that one alone and I'm having trouble writing it on my own. Whatever burst of motivation I had that made me sit down for 7 hours and just slap out 10k words in one sitting has yet to return.

But it's a very wholesome fic about them becoming friends and such. I like it a lot, it's probably my favorite dynamic I've written so far.

Ask Game - Writer Edition

[discourse-by-candlelight]

i saw your reblog and im gonna take you up on that offer if you dont mind. im not trying to come from a closed minded point of view, so im gonna ask something i hope isnt rude? i was wondering what brought you to the decision of creating your system?

Wrath: Sorry for the delay in answering this, we've been going through quite a bit irl lately.

As for your question, it's not rude at all! We're happy to answer it. For this post I suppose I the host/original should answer despite rarely being active on Tumblr. This might be a little messy at times so bear with me. I'll also be using tulpamancy terminology for this post as it's what I know if that's OK. My path into tulpamancy was far more unorthodox than most, that's probably why we run a tumblr blog while most of the community would rather do anything else. Fair warning: This may be very, very long-winded, but every tulpamancer has their own highly subjective story, and mine is out there even by my community's standards. So I'll give a TLDR above the cut and the long biography/essay under.

TLDR: While my first tulpa initially was formed on accident, I found that my life was enriched and genuinely far more fulfilling once I started working with tulpamancy, and the companionship changed my life around when I was in a dark place at the height of Covid. From there I purposely expanded my system, although we had an initial explosion of system size due to some experimentation going a little far. We worked together to create a beautiful inner life and dynamic, and with a couple walk-ins and odd experiences down the line we stabilized at 16 members for over year, and then picked up our final member last September leaving us at 17.

The system is still going strong after 2 and a half years living this way and I feel like my life has more meaning because of them. In fact, I'm not sure I'd still be here today if they weren't around for the trials I've faced within the last year. We've carved out a nice life for ourselves, and while depression still kicks all of our asses at times, we have a collectively agreed upon future dream, and all of us have our own interests and hobbies that helps enrich the rest of us too.

So to begin the long answer/mini biography, I'm host of one of the less common but certainly not unheard of tulpamancy systems that initially formed accidentally. There's a couple ways this can happen, usually via imaginary friends, roleplay characters, or OCs coming to life from repeated imaginative activity in a way that the tulpamancy community would consider to be similar to "forcing" (the in community term for tulpa creation and development). In my case it was less obvious and a little more obscure than that, but I've got a decent hypothesis as to the how's and why's.

So my first tulpa was originally named Shade but nowadays goes by Null, and they formed while I was in a stressful period of my life and I ran into a piece of fanfiction whose main character developed an alter ego, an alter ego that was for all intents and purposes in effect a tulpa. I hyperfixated on this little story, and since previous to this I had spent quite a bit of time in occult circles I was already familiar with the concept of thoughtforms in general. The brain did all the heavy lifting for me without my realizing and only a day or so after finishing said story I had my first experience with Null.

(Note: Most first tulpas when intentionally created take a week or so to form with modern community teachings, but time varies widely between systems. My system is on one of the far ends of the spectrum, forming quite rapidly and without much intent at the start. People on the other end may take months or longer due to mental blocks or misunderstandings of the fundamentals).

At first I was confused obviously, and a little concerned, but Null was friendly and knowledgeable, and we both agreed to do some research into the topic. The first check was DID/OSDD, as I'm sure it is for most people experiencing any form of plurality. I knew I had a trauma history, so it wasn't like it was off the cards for me. We found that we didn't really match up with the criteria, however. Certain things just didn't click and while my system to this day drifts farther down the dissociative spectrum than most tulpamancers and tulpas, we still don't think we've ever truly met the criteria nor do we think we ever will. We exist in a bit of a blurry zone there compared to most tulpamantic systems but nonetheless remain steadfast in our understanding of our system.

Once Null and I put DID back on the shelf for the time we moved onto other searches. These were very general, stuff like voice hearing and imaginary friends, but it did the job because fairly quickly we found a certain article written by an academic on the topic of tulpamancy. This caught our eye and felt like it near perfectly described the experience we were having. It also lightly covered on accidental tulpas, and things clicked into place in my head with me having read that story beforehand.

So we joined the tulpamancy community first by signing up for a forum called tulpa.info

This is where we initially learned most of our techniques, and also where my system went from me and at the time Shade, to Shade Null and I. So at this point we were practicing simple stuff, keeping tulpas around and active, visualization training, basic stuff for tulpas. Null having a very specific and less than emotional personality came to the conclusion that he could better help our dynamic if he changed up his personality and style. This resulted in some experimentation with form, voice, and general self expression, and eventually Shade settled into the form of a feminine hooded shadow person, and developed a very different personality. Shade still has this form and has expanded on it since, but things get interesting here as Null chose instead of just presenting as Shade, to instead split off and keep himself as he was, and let this version of himself become an independent tulpa. So my system went from 2 to 3.

Here's a piece of art I had commissioned for Shade on her first birth/formation day, or well Null's birthday. They consider eachother as two independent manifestations of the same identity which is still confusing even for me at times. Luckily the rest of my system while no less odd is (mostly) far more intentional and not nearly as complex to grasp.

So Shade and I were the ones who really made the system as it is today. Null took a bit of an intentional backseat and still prefers being less active. Shade and I during our couple months alone developed all of the fundamental tulpamancy skills. We developed our visualization and a wonderland aka inner world, we learned possession (A tulpa/headmate controlling a specific limb while someone else fronts), and we learned how to switch via a visualization ritual, and eventually developed it and lessened the time needed down to a blink. Shade and I also practiced some imposition, which is kind of like a form or controlled hallucinations, but that's a crude understanding of it. There's multiple guides and references to the topic from my and other communities such as prophantasia you can look into if you desire.

At some point we decided to experiment with the idea of thoughtforms in our wonderland to give it some life, and maybe adding some new members. While we'll spare the details for personal reasons, things got a little out of hand and what was just supposed to be some imaginary characters innerworld became a large set of tulpas, and I chose to accept them in. This made the majority of my system, and while it was chaotic for a time I have zero regrets.

During and a short while after this time we also had 2 walk-ins (which in the tulpamancy community means a tulpa who forms/appears seemingly out of the blue, usually only after you've been a tulpamancer for some time, not to be confused with spiritual walk-ins from the wider plural community) which I chose to accept as members unlike other walk-ins. Walk-ins are interesting, and there's a few working theories on the topic, but that'll be for a different post, probably on our non syscourse blog @thecandlelightsociety

So to tally up this left my system size at 14 including myself. For reference, most tulpamantic systems have 2 to 6 members on average. Things stabilized here and we stayed a this number for quite a few months, but eventually a member of my system, Dawn, decided to make a new tulpa with some help from a friend. I gave her the go ahead and about half a month later we added Junior to our Simply Plural. At this point I was wrapping up school for the year and was at this point fully adjusted to the plural lifestyle, and it was the most memorable few months of my entire life. We all talked every day, shared perspectives I'd of never had on topics on my own, and discussed individual interests. We would and still do sometimes argue but since we share a brain and as a tulpamantic system don't have any major dissociative barriers we near always understand what eachother feel and truly mean, so they never get nasty and are more philosophical or fun banter. I did lose a fair amount of personal time, splitting it between all of our hobbies, but I enjoy seeing the others have fun and grow as people, so it's time well lost.

So fast forward more and we have our second to last member show up, and this one is yet another unorthodox tulpa formation (seeing a trend with my system yet?). Dawn, being a dumbass as always, decided to mess around with a tulpa hypnosis file and ended up dropping to it, and so two days later we had Sera show up. I was skeptical of her, but she quickly showed herself worthy of staying and so our system reached 16 members and we ended up studying hypnosis for a time. This is the number we would stay at for most of our time as a system up until recently.

During all of this time we would switch front based on whoever felt like fronting, and Astra, the tulpa who actually runs this blog usually, became the most frequent fronter and made me proud, accomplishing multiple personal and academic goals for herself. She's the main reason we're now studying psychology in college, and she would later handle quite possibly the worst couple months of our life all my singlet years included. I couldn't be more happy with all she has accomplished for herself and our shared life. Just seeing her happy and succeeding makes tulpamancy worth it for me.

So our most recent member was also a walk-in, and one of only three fictives in our system. Fictives are common in tulpamancy spaces because using a character as a base model for a tulpa makes the creation process much easier. It gives personality traits and an already known form to work with. My system due to it's unique set of circumstances for most formations however is mainly custom forms. One member of my system really wanted her accepted, and I eventually agreed, and I don't regret it at all either. She has been a wonderful person to get to know and quickly became one of the most active and social members out of all of us, and became the most popular person in our online friend groups.

So that covers the (very rough) general timeline of my experiences with tulpamancy. It is horrifically simplified and missing quite a bit, but the main point was to show that my system, while complex and messy at times, has brought me immense joy. Most of all though, it brought me purpose. I'm so glad I didn't just ignore Null all the way back then and let him dissipate back into the sea of my mind. This journey has been a wild ride, but I love all of my tulpas, and I'm happy to have them as my equals in this shared life of ours.

[multiplydifficult]

i'm struggling so bad right now. we might have been ok (stressed like hell but manageably so) with just the assessments (3 x 2000 words in a month with careful limited use of references, except one will turn out to be done orally and we only get a weeks' notice for which).

But then they had to add in this extra fucking (ungraded) group debate that covers topics we haven't touched in class, and there's this other ten-minute group presentation we're supposed to do the week after we hand stuff in.

Many people are extra stressed because they did poorly on their lst assessments and we can only fail one (1) thing this semester or we can't do next semester, so i really don't have the support of my group to do the group work.

And for me, i can't afford to do another year after this. I must pass. But there's just too much to do and i'm not sleeping so well and i'm skipping classes today because i'm just. Overwhelmed. I can't think well enough.

Anyway.

After vent, finish getting dressed and brush teeth. Go to shops because we need food. Eat food. Start on debate stuff. Will ONLY work on that today and run over it briefly tomorrow before the debate.

Tomorrow will go to study first-thing and use all spare time to work on assessment number 2. Or carry on number 1, i don't fucking know. It's so hard to find useful research on it, and i had planned to have it roughly finished before this week so i'm absolutely behind.

I swear these tutors just love to pick topics for which there is limited research, then ping us for using semi-related research in our papers.

[gryphonlover]

Speedrunning WGS 101: Unit 6

I think a lot of people get media literacy, reading comprehension, and literary analysis mixed up. They're all important, but as far as I can tell, they're not the same thing.

We're supposed to submit our proposals for the current events papers and the way the professor worded the instructions is so bizarre because they want us to do research before picking a topic but also not do research, and I think I understand the instructions and thought process, but there has to be a better way of saying it.

The professor has instructions on how to write an email in the syllabus.

I'm losing braincells in this class.

Related Content Below

The SPENT Game

[cinemaocd]

Not to blaspheme on this excellent post by bringing up Dan Simmons, but the novel makes different use of Crozier's Irishness, by having Francis remember his Irish granny (Moira) and her gift with ESP being the part of him that can communicate with Silna at the end of the novel. (I don't support Crozier/Silna as it's written in the book, but I do actually like the idea of them communicating telepathically so I kept that in this fic I wrote.

I disagree a bit that Crozier wouldn't have any Irish language, yes the language was suppressed at this time, but there was only so much they could do. My recent research into my own genealogy gives a bit of anecdotal evidence to the contrary. (My relatives probably emigrated at this time and at least one of them listed Irish as the language spoken at home on a census form and the place where they wound up-- Newfoundland-- has Irish language place names and the people even have west country accents to this day!) '

The Irish language revival didn't really start until much later in the century, but the rural areas in the west always had isolated pockets of Gaelic (this is part of why Yeats is buried in Sligo and not Dublin where he was born and raised...) and people were closer to the culture than in the cities.

Also, while we're on the topic of accents, there's that critical scene with Goodsir where he picks apart Hickey's accent and pin points that he comes from poverty. It's amazing that Crozier doesn't pick up on the authenticity of it as well, but of course he's drunk when it comes up and he may never give it another moment's thought. When he finds out the truth in episode 10 I suppose it would be too much for him to be like: wow it makes sense that you did such a great English accent while Tuunbaq is attacking...

ok francis rawdon moira crozier post: everyone’s always (rightly) repeating the “irish and middle born” line but i really don’t see talk about it beyond that — except maybe having him spit some irish gaelic while he fucks fitzjames in a fic, and i guarantee you that man would not have been a fluent irish speaker (see: efforts from both the english and from irish communities to prevent people from speaking irish). and as part of that i’d like to see more discussion of francis’ betrayal of who he is and where he comes from.

he is irish. the famine has just begun. he spends his life attempting to rise through the ranks of, to be a successful arm of, the empire that has ensured his status as a second class citizen, his inability to speak his ancestral language, the genocide of his countrymen. francis has his assertive personality and his vocal objections and his challenges, but ultimately he’s betrayed the very essence of who he is and only does it further upon destroying himself with alcohol — because to the empire, what else would an irishman do?

and he has so little genuine self awareness about it. deep inside himself, in his subconscious, i’m sure he knows. but he could never begin to Truly know it within the conscious or to actually vocalize it. bc how do you even begin to acknowledge or make sense of this about your ENTIRE LIFE?

and ofc this parallels with james and with hickey. pretending to be something you’re not, betraying the very essence of what you are. hiding. he doesn’t know it but THAT is the basis of his initial resentment of those two: they’re betraying themselves.

because to him, at first, hickey is an irishman who has so fully committed to the betrayal he won’t even speak in a way that implies his origin. hickey thinks this double deception makes them comrades, but in reality, would francis really have had hickey punished As A Boy if not for their first exchange? would hickey have mocked francis’ irishness from the gallows if not for the failure of that disguise, this betrayal of a perceived countryman?

the full extent of james’ betrayal is hidden to francis until the cairn but he still sees it, and he sees himself in it. the obedience, the obsequience, the ambition, the admiration, (the queerness,)

so when james confesses his bastardry, his non englishness, his deception, even if francis did not now love him, how could he ever hold it against him? he’s done worse.

and, perhaps most significantly, paralleling that with silna. francis helping the empire to colonize and imperialize other places as ireland was. silna avoiding and almost rejecting her duty for nearly the entirety of the show, seeking shelter with and in some cases allying with the interlopers she despises and who have ruined her life. Tuunbaq Is Dead.

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

ohhh christina rossetti and gerard manley hopkins are wlw/mlm solidarity

[hansgrubr]

y’all i’m fucking pissed at myself i cannot get myself to do this stupid homework that’s overdue bc i just hate it so much

[qqueenofhades]

I’m really curious, when you read books by historians do you read them straight through or do you pick out the chapters that are the most relevant to the topic you are interested in? I’m mainly asking because I picked up a very interesting book from the library but it’s been difficult to read it straight through. In college my professors actually told me that it was best to pick out the chapters or sections that were relevant to my research and not get bogged down trying to read the entire book. I guess it just feels unnatural now trying to read a book straight through.

Aha, this is absolutely fine. I'll tell you a dirty little secret, which is that no academic in existence can possibly actually read everything that they cite, in full or sometimes even in part. The good academics are also supposed to write their stuff in a way that makes it possible for you to read the abstract, the introduction, the chapter headings, and the conclusion, and know essentially what they're talking about, the conclusions they're drawing, and what they're contrasting it against. The middle chapters are there to demonstrate their scholarly work in detail, and meticulously explain how they analyzed the material to reach the conclusion that they did, but not necessarily crucial to understand their overall argument or what the piece is about.

Showing cites to other work is a crucial part of demonstrating that you're engaging with your field, you're aware of what other people are writing on the topic, and of course, where you're drawing the critical threads and other commentaries that you've used, which is why reading a popular-history book with no footnotes or endnotes always gives me hives. This, however, is not a concern for the average layperson, and you shouldn't feel obliged to read ALL of the book, because even literal actual professional historians/academics don't do that. We read free summaries and Academia.edu copies, we take shameless advantage of what we can read over the paywall cut, we do Google Scholar/Books searches just to make sure we're getting a good sense of what's out there, but there's no way we can actually read every single page. Besides, as you point out, some of it is more relevant to your particular interest than others, so yes, focus on what you want to learn and not the rest, especially if it's bogging you down.

[cravingstudyvalidation]

25/30 dop~ 15/7/22 ( late post)

Today was a shitty day. ok well not completely but hear me out. first half of skl was ok and the second half, Jack in the box came out so obvi I was hyped up( equal sign<<<<). I came home and practically did nothing for an hour except for attending a class. I had too much shit to do and I felt rlly overwhelmed and anxious. With my exams in less than 10days and the debate being on mon ,I was just feeling lost and my mental health was deteriorating.(idk if that makes sense) Ig I just needed a breather. As if my day wasn't already getting worse, one of my debate mates texted and said that they CHANGED THE TOPIC. Like excuse me? Aren't u like supposed to ask my opinion too and wdym u just changed the topic without asking me? I spent 5+hrs researching and reading endless number of articles and was almost done with it and u dare to text me and say u guys changed it? Like u could've atleast told me that when we were in skl. I wasn't angry that they changed the topic it was just they've could've asked me if I was okay with changing it and like they just changed it just like that, as if I'm not a part of the team•_•

Bcoz of this chaos, I totally forgot that I had to pick up my anxiety meds from my doc, so I had to rush tot he clinic 20mins before they closed to get em. Just revised some phy and did olevel past Yr qs and researched for the debate. I could've not given a fuck abt the debate and should've prioritised studying for exams but I had to get extra credits:[

Sotd: Arson by Jhope( yea burn it all)

26/30 dop~16/7/22

Today was a much better day. I surprisingly woke up around 630 without my alarm and went on morn run. The weather was rlly chilly and calm. I did a deep study session for 3hrs after. Did a whole lot of physics and practiced Ray diagrams, since that's my weakest link. Had a grp call with debate mates to discuss and finalise the speakers for the debate. We're doing it in British parliament style this time ,which none of us has ever done before so we're all a bit nervous( mostly me lol) I also watched some debates that was on the topic we had and got some rlly good arguments and counterpoints. So that was it for the debate. Went for dance class later and we learnt this new piece which was sm different than the other pieces we've learnt. It's a fusion of various types of dance forms and we're gonna perform it in a upcoming event so I'm rlly excited for that!( atleast I have one thing I can look forward to after exams lmao). Came back home and did some qs on polygons and mensuration. I'm also done with her last mistake, this was the first book I've read in the Gina Harte series and I loved it. I might even check some of her other books too.

Sotd: Stargazing by The neighbourhood and STOP by Jhope

[eagles-translated]

This is when the fourth and final season of Eagles releases

This summer, the third season of the hit series Eagles premieres on SVT. Now it's confirmed that there will also be a season four - which will be the series' last. We've talked to actress Alva Bratt and screenwriter Michaela Hamilton.

The hit series "Eagles" will soon release its third season on SVT. In the series, we get to follow five teenagers who live in the hockey town Oskarshamn and their high school years, which are filled with friendship, love and rivalry - both on and off the ice. Now it's also confirmed that a fourth and final season of the SVT series is on its way. So how will it end for our favorite characters? We've talked to actress Alva Bratt and screenwriter Michaela Hamilton about the inspiration behind the characters and what the coming seasons have to offer.

- You could see it as season three and four entering phase two. When you start to face adult problems and how you handle them as a non-adult person, says Michaela Hamilton.

The second season of the teen series averaged over half a million viewers per episode and was nominated for Kristallen 2020 in the category of best TV drama of the year. Despite the success, season four will be the last season. Why is that?

- It's quite funny, the way you're asking the question. It's exactly the same thing you feel when you graduate: “Why does it have to end? We're here and having such a good time”. But we have to move on in life and release these people and relationships into the world. That is exactly what we're doing with Eagles as well, says Michaela Hamilton.

- It's good to finish on top! These were the years the show was supposed to be about. Now they're graduating and then we will set them free, Alva Bratt adds.

What will season 4 be about?

We've gotten to follow the characters during their high school years, and the fourth season will take place during the last six months before they graduate and go their own ways. Michaela remembers that there is an incredible pain in graduating and that you are exposed to the world in a completely different way.

- It is a rather bewildering moment in life when you know that you're going to be separated from people that you have first been forced to be with, but then learned to become friends with or live with, and what these goodbyes do to you. So that's where the basic story lies, says Michaela Hamilton.

Alva Bratt on Eagles-Felicia: "It's like her facade is falling quite a bit"

The third season premieres in June, and is largely about the main characters' different choices. Having to make important choices for the future, even though you may not really know who you are, and what the consequences will be. The third season of Eagles will be darker than the previous ones, which we will see in Alva Bratt's character Felicia Kroon.

- I would say that she feels darker and more insecure. It's like her facade is falling quite a bit, says Alva Bratt.

The season will address issues such as how young people are affected by anxiety over the future, mental illness and dysfunctional families. These are topics that both Michaela and Alva can recognize themselves in, but in different ways. Michaela says that she herself was very identity-seeking and insecure when she was younger. When she got a little older, she lost both her brother and stepfather and also had to go through incredible grief. She has tried to put that trauma into the Eagles' script.

- Grief is so striking and it does things to people, both in positive and negative ways. So I've really lent out a lot of my feelings about it, and it's something that has been personal to me, says Michaela.

It's precisely the search for identity that the screenwriters have attributed to Felicia's character. Trying to find out who you are by testing different identities, and that the journey there can be incredibly difficult. Themes such as mental illness and anxiety over the future are probably things that most people can relate to on some level.

- I've felt bad when I was younger, but also good. That's probably what youth is, I guess, says Michaela.

- That's probably also the climate we live in today. No one feels great all the time. I can feel anxiety over the future now more than ever. Especially with the pandemic, it's been awful on so many levels. That you have to live with the constant anxiety of the future. Even if you're feeling pretty well, it's always difficult to know what you're going to do in the future, says Alva.

They both think that these are important topics to highlight and show more sides of. Michaela says that Eagles has never tried to be a series that is only lighthearted, and they're trying to be a broader spectrum than that. The characters encounter problems such as eating disorders, cancel culture, rumors and drug problems.

- I don't think we're romanticizing anything, which I think is very important. It takes a whole lot to do certain things that some of the characters do, but at the same time there is a hopefulness in the series that gives balance, says Alva and continues:

- I think that one of the guy characters problems are highlighted very well. That these vulnerable guys get represented too, because I really think there is too little of that in media. This story also shows that all people are equal regardless of which gender, identity and class we feel like we belong in.

- Emotions belong to everyone, Michaela fills in.

Prior to the series, the production team did solid research work by interviewing young people in Oskarshamn, and among them many teenagers could recognize themselves in Felicia. But Alva Bratt, who plays the character, doesn't find many similarities between her and Felicia.

- I'm very different from my character. I've said it so many times, but she's like the teenager I never was, says Alva.

The characters may seem stereotypical at first, but as the series progresses, we get to see more sides of them. It's a bit like when we get to know someone in real life. At first we might see a happy guy, but the more we hang out with them the more sides to the person we get to see.

- I think it's nice to write a character just like that, to unfold it a bit like a flower. And it's especially important to understand that when you're young, you're not just evil or good or sad or happy. It's not a whole personality. You can change. You can feel shit but at the same time laugh with your family or have problems within the family but still be a good partner, says Michaela.

So, why has the show gotten so popular? Alva and Michaela think that a lot can be attributed to the viewers recognizing themselves or other people they know in the characters. That they are easy to relate to.

- That's the beauty of teen shows. Either you go through it, have to go through it or you have gone through it. That everyone can find something in there that you can relate to, says Michaela.

The filming for the fourth and final season starts soon. Since it has been clear that Eagles will be about the characters' time as high school students, it means that Eagles will end soon. Whether it will come in any other form remains to be seen.

- No closed doors. That's what I'll say, says Michaela.

When does Eagles season 3 premiere on SVT?

We've seen two seasons of Eagles so far and this summer the third season will finally premiere. Add June 4th 2021 to your calendars - that's the premiere date for season 3.

Quick Recap: This has happened in earlier seasons of Eagles

The first two seasons of Eagles can no longer be watched on SVT Play, which means that they're not possible to stream at the moment. Along with season 3, the previous episodes will return soon. But do you want to refresh your memory for the next season right now? If so, here's a quick recap of what happened in seasons 1 and 2.

This happened in Eagles season 1

In the first season of Eagles we met the Kroon siblings - the influencer Felicia (Alva Bratt) and the hockey player Elias (Edvard Olsson), who moved back to Sweden after their time in the US. Their father was a hockey professional in the NHL but is now taking over as a coach for the hockey team in Oskarshamn.

Felicia starts seeing Ludvig (Adrian Öjvindsson), the hockey talent who's been the best in the team - until Elias joined. The rivalry between the young people reflects much of the season both in friendship, love and popularity.

Klara Ceder (Sarah Gustafsson) who is the school's IT girl feels threatened by Felicia who invades her territory, both as the school's most popular girl and by hanging out with Amie (Yandeh Sallah), who was Klara's friend from the beginning.

Ludvig has family problems and drowns them in alcohol at a party. At the party he meets Amie, and something happens between them.

This happened in Eagles season 2

The second season of Eagles picks up from the dramatic end of season 1, but here we get to see a slightly darker season. Elias starts dating Klara, who Felicia doesn't like. But at the end of the season, Klara apologizes to Felicia, and we get to see other sides of her. Is this the beginning of a new friendship?

Felicia dates Jack Barrett (Filip Wolfe Sjunnesson), a new assistant coach on the team, until she learns worrying things about him.

There is a strange atmosphere between Ludvig and Amie, but they continue to make music together. When Ludvig ends up in the hospital after a hockey tackle, Amie kisses him, but he doesn't kiss her back. Are you allowed to fall in love with your friend's ex?

Cecilia Arvidsson March 15th, 2021 Source: (x)

[ashiversary]

If We're Honest - Chapter 3

Read the full fic on ao3!

It was a testament to how little Blanche knew Candela that they did not see this coming.

Blanche stared at the restaurant, which was one of the most upscale in Opal City, with dismay. The patrons glittered in suits and floor-length gowns with diamonds and sipped the most expensive wines the city had to offer. “I am not dressed for this,” Blanche said as Candela took their arm and steered them through the door.

“Don’t worry, darling, they know me here,” Candela replied. This was not reassuring, as Candela was wearing a red silk gown with a plunging neckline and golden six-inch heels. Rubies glimmered at her ears and throat, and a series of gold bangles covered her wrists. She was stunning. Blanche could not believe she kept red-carpet attire in a gym bag in her car.

They considered it extremely discourteous of her to not warn them. Or give them the chance to stop by their apartment to change into a suit.

The only comfort was that Spark hadn’t changed either, and was still in his orange tank and leather jacket.

“Candy, I thought we were going to a steakhouse!” Spark complained as Candela spoke to the hostess.

“This is a steakhouse! Yes, I have a reservation for three,” Candela said when the hostess asked.

“Just because steaks are on the menu does not make it a steakhouse,” Blanche said. Spark sent them a grateful look for taking his side, and the sense of camaraderie made Blanche feel slightly better.

Candela did not reply, and Spark and Blanche were forced to follow her and the hostess through the restaurant to the table. It was covered by a snow-white tablecloth and crystal wine glasses. Spark went to pull out Candela’s chair, which pleased her, but Blanche made sure to sit down before Spark could repeat the gesture for them. No thank you.

Their little group attracted some curious and amused glances, which was no surprise given that Candela was the only one dressed appropriately for the venue. Blanche did their best to ignore the attention as they unfolded their pristine white cloth napkin and draped it over their lap. Despite their efforts, their face and chest grew hot and sweaty at the sound of nearby laughter. It was a couple on a date who weren’t even looking in their direction, but it felt like their amusement was directed at Blanche regardless.

It could have been worse, they knew. At least Spark was in the same boat as them. He whined to Candela for misleading him about where they were going to eat, and she smirked in reply. She seemed to enjoy being the best dressed person at the table. Blanche could deal with agents of chaos, but they liked to have some warning that was what they were dealing with.

As Spark flipped his menu open, he grumbled, “They probably don’t even have chicken tenders here.”

Blanche had to stifle a laugh as they were reminded of their twin, whose tastes leaned toward juvenile.

Candela grimaced. “Definitely not. But they do have steak!” She helped Spark by flipping to the appropriate page of his menu. “Ribs too, see?”

Appeased for the moment, Spark scanned the page for his choices while Candela ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Red, of course.

Blanche scanned their own menu and winced at the prices. They had been a research assistant for the last few years, and that had not been a high-paying job. Spark must be able to read their face, because he leaned into their space while Candela was busy chatting with the server about the day’s specials. “I can cover ya, if ya want,” Spark whispered.

Blanche flushed. They could make it work with their finances. It just would have been easier if they hadn’t moved from a different region recently. “It’s all right. I’ll manage.”

“Seriously, it’s fine. Candy comes from money, so she forgets about this stuff. It’s not payday yet. Let me cover you.”

Ugh, he had such a reassuring smile. “I’ll pay you back later.” They hoped he would not argue. Soulmate or not, they did not know him well enough to accept freebies yet.

“Sure thing!”

This arrangement did make them feel better, and they were able to choose a tasty-looking seafood dish without too much guilt. Spark ordered his steak, along with vegetables and an extra side of potatoes. Blanche couldn’t imagine attempting to eat that much food at once, but Candela acted as if this were normal.

The table lapsed into silence, and Blanche felt that they ought to say something to incite conversation. After all, they were the new person being integrated into an established friendship (Blanche wasn’t sure about thinking of either of them as more than that yet). “So, Candela, were you born in Opal?” Blanche asked, fishing for a safe topic.

Something flickered across her face that told them that this topic might not have been as safe as they had thought. However, before they could apologize and backtrack, she smiled. “Oh, not at all! I’ve lived here for a couple years now, but I was born in Unova.”

“I see.” Blanche had never been to Unova and was curious about what kind of pokemon Candela saw growing up. But there was a strange tension in the air, so they weren’t sure it would be right to ask.

Spark, however, felt no such restraint. “Candy’s got four older brothers!” He grinned as he said it. “Can ya believe it? I’m an only child, so I can’t imagine.”

“It sounds boisterous,” Blanche replied.

Candela waved a hand. “It certainly was! It’s much quieter now that they don’t talk to me.”

Oh. Despite her flippant tone, there was pain in her eyes. “May I ask?” She didn’t have to tell them if she didn’t want to, but they would like to know the source of her pain if she was comfortable sharing it with them.

She sighed and drummed her fingers on the table before she picked up her wine and took a generous sip. “It was stupid, really.”

“I’m sure it isn’t stupid, if it caused you pain,” Blanche murmured.

Candela sent them a grateful look. “Thank you, darling. But how it happened was stupid.” She sighed and tapped the side of her wine glass. “Spark knows the story. My family has a long history tied to Moltres. It’s kind of like our guardian legendary. The tradition is that the oldest child will form a bond, which is like this telepathic connection, with Moltres. It was supposed to be my oldest brother Lucifel next, but I encountered Moltres while walking home one night. It recognized my bloodline and formed the bond.” She sighed again.

“And that’s bad?” Blanche asked.

Candela shrugged. “My parents were furious. In their mind, I usurped tradition and stole my brother’s birthright. It didn’t matter that I didn’t do it on purpose. I was a bad and rebellious daughter who brought shame to the family. Everyone stopped talking to me, even my Grandma. Eventually I couldn’t take it and moved in with my cousin in Alola. Her family is much less traditional than mine. One way or another, I ended up here.”

Spark reached out to rub her bare shoulder. She leaned into the touch and managed a small smile. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put a dampener on our date.”

“It’s no problem, Candy. Don’t worry about it.”

The server came back with their meals, offering fresh ground pepper before disappearing to serve the next table. Blanche sampled their seafood pasta and was very pleased - it was delicious, with just the right amounts of butter and garlic.

Blanche didn’t want to detract from Candela’s story, but now seemed like a good time to mention Articuno.

“I do know about bonds with legendaries,” Blanche said. Both of the others looked at them in surprise, though Candela recovered first and took advantage of Spark’s inattention to steal a bite of his steak. Blanche ignored this and continued. “While I was travelling around Kanto and Johto with Professor Oak, I encountered Articuno.”

“And it bonded with you?” Spark asked with far more excitement than Blanche thought that the situation warranted. He shook Candela’s shoulder. “Did you hear that, Candy? Can you believe it?”

“Right?” Candela said around another stolen bite of steak. “Three for three. What are the odds, Sparky?”

“I beg your pardon?” Blanche was missing some context.

“Sparky here is bonded with Zapdos!” Candela said, laughing, draping an arm around Spark’s shoulders and pointing to his face.

“Are you joking?” Blanche wanted to make sure. They weren’t always the best at catching on to jokes.

“Nope! Met it at the power plant with my Uncle when I was a kid. Been together ever since.”

Blanche looked between them. They could understand the other two’s mirth now. What were the chances of the three of them being soulmates, team leaders of the Go Program, and bonded to Kanto’s titans? “Unbelievable.” Was all they could think to say.

“I know!” Spark said.

“Well, eat up, you two,” Candela said. “The food is getting cold.”

The date was very relaxed after that, enough so that Blanche forgot to be self conscious that they weren’t dressed appropriately for the venue. The wine made them all tipsy. Spark and Candela tried to talk Blanche into coming to Spark’s apartment to play Super Smash Bros, but Blanche wasn’t comfortable with that yet and ended up taking a taxi home. Once there, they kicked off their shoes and flopped face down on their bed until morning.

The next day, the soulmate bond between the team leaders seemed to be all anyone could talk about. By lunch Blanche was both annoyed and flustered by all the people congratulating them and the shy approaches from young interns asking if the rumours were true. It didn’t help that interest kicked up several notches when Spark and Candela showed up at lunch with grins and sandwiches.

Blanche accepted their invitation to a picnic with a sigh.

“Aw, Blanche, we’re gonna think you aren’t happy to see us,” Spark teased as they settled into a small courtyard outside Mystic Headquarters.

Blanche was squinting at their sandwich with suspicion. It was somehow their favourite, despite the fact that they had no recollection of telling Spark what kind of sandwiches they liked. They hadn’t been so drunk the night before as to have forgotten something like that. “Did Annie tell you what sandwiches I like?” they wondered out loud, for that was the only explanation they could think of. As their assistant, Annie was almost always around. She would have picked up on their tastes.

Spark’s expression turned sheepish, and he shook his head. “Um, no, about that…” he began, and Blanche turned their suspicious squint from the sandwich to him. Candela choked on her apple juice as she laughed, and Spark waved a hand. “No, no, it’s nothing weird! I just, y’know, happened to run into Noire, so I asked.”

That didn’t clear things up. “How did you run into Noire?”

“Well, they dropped by Instinct - like, literally, through the ceiling - to steal some rare pokemon eggs. I recognized ‘em as your sib, so, y’know, once I’d thwarted their plans I asked.”

Candela laughed harder. “Darling, you’re so weird,” she sighed. “You captured a Rocket exec just to interrogate them about Blanche’s food preferences?”

“Well, sure,” Spark said. “Why not?”

Blanche put their face in their hands. They could not believe Noire had not called to laugh at them about their soulmate being a major dork. In fairness, Noire was also a major dork.

“Anyway, they’re coming over tonight so I can wreck their ass in Mario Kart. Wanna join?” Spark continued.

Blanche supposed they could not complain about Noire and Spark getting along if this fledgling potential relationship was to work out. But goodness it was awkward.

“Oh, I’d love to come,” Candela said, getting her laughter under control. Her smile glittered dangerously, and there was no doubt she would also love to kick Noire’s butt at Mario Kart. “I have to pay them back for messing with my team, don’t I?” She leaned over to wrap her free arm around Blanche’s. “Do come, Blanche. It won’t be as much fun without you.”

And if that wasn’t one of the sweetest things Blanche had ever been told. Their cheeks went pink. No one had ever called them fun before. They were too serious, too awkward, too stoic. Noire was the fun, friendly one. But if they were wanted… “I’ll see if I can make time,” Blanche said, trying to play it cool.

“Great! I’ll provide snacks. All ya gotta do is show up,” Spark said, beaming.

“Very well.” Blanche was abysmal in the kitchen, so at least it wasn’t going to be a potluck. Candela was still holding onto their arm. It felt nice. Very nice.

Blanche still had not told them.

The thought of bringing up their background made their heart hammer and a lump stick in their throat. It was too hard. They did not want to. But if they did not, would it not be deceitful? Candela and Spark had both told Blanche things about their pasts, things that were difficult for them to say. Reciprocating would be the right thing to do.

“While you’re here, there was something I wanted to tell you,” Blanche began. Even those words had to be forced out of their mouth. Candela gave their arm a brief squeeze. There was so much comfort in that touch. It gave Blanche the courage to continue. Spark stopped teasing the wild pidgey that had landed on his shoulder in hopes of bits of sandwich, and was giving Blanche his full attention. He didn’t seem to notice that this gave the pidgey the opportunity to steal a large chunk of his sandwich meat and take flight for a nearby tree to eat its spoils.

“When we were children, Noire and I were found on the streets of Orre.” The memories, vague and clouded as they were, came up. Blanche pushed the back in order to continue. “We were found by Team Rocket taking shelter among stacks of pallets at an abandoned warehouse. I do not remember how we got there. Neither does Noire.” They only remembered two days prior at most, but they weren’t sure of that. They remembered twisting a spigot on the side of the building and getting a thin trickle of water. They remembered hunger, blistering hot days, and cold nights. Fear. That was all.

“That’s okay, Blanche,” Spark hastened to reassure them. “We’re all orphans, in a way.” He glanced at Candela, whose parents were still alive but had effectively abandoned her. “It’s okay.”

“Thank you. But that’s not it.” Blanche drew in a deep breath, then pressed on. “I don’t recall anything before that clearly. But I do have… I suppose I would call them *impressions* of things. Nothing clear. Locked doors. Needles. Terror. People in white coats. That’s all.”

Spark scooted until he was sitting on Blanche’s other side. He draped his arm over their shoulders and squeezed. “That’s rough. Thank you for telling us,” he murmured.

Blanche was mortified to feel tears prick their eyes. They swiped at their face with the back of their hand to wipe away the moisture, and Spark squeezed again. “Hey. It’s okay. Cry if you gotta. It’s tough stuff we’re talking about.”

Blanche hiccuped, and despite Spark’s reassurance, they were ashamed of their weakness. How stupid was it to cry over things that the didn’t even remember? “I might not be human,” they choked out.

“Of course you are!” Candela’s voice was fierce. She pushed up until she was kneeling and cupped their face in her hands. Blanche wanted to look away, but Candela wasn’t having it. “No, no, you listen to me,” she said. Her eyes were gold. Had Blanche ever noticed that before? “You are human. Absolutely. Just as human as me and Sparky over there, even though he has the mentality of a pokemon sometimes and eats weird things he finds in the forest.”

Blanche gave a wet laugh, and Candela smiled in relief. “Hey, I’m serious! He once ate this weird twisty berry and his face was paralyzed for an entire day. Who does that?”

“Hey! It was only temporary. And Go dared me. I don’t back down from a challenge, Candy.”

“But did you learn your lesson? No!” Candela shot back. “He tried to eat an apricorn the next day,” she explained to Blanche.

“Apricorns can be juiced, but they are not edible raw,” Blanche said.

“Well, I know that now,” Spark said. “Geez, Candy, you never let anything go.”

“It was only two months ago Spark!” Despite her more aggressive tone toward Spark, Candela’s hands remained gentle on Blanche’s face. She stopped frowning at Spark to smile at Blanche and give them a soft kiss on the forehead. Blanche flushed and automatically pulled away. They weren’t used to such casual affection.

Fortunately, Candela didn’t seem to be offended. “Finish your sandwich, Blanche,” she said, and settled herself back on the grass to eat her own.

Spark was frowning as his sandwich like he’d just realized there was a chunk missing. Blanche opted not to tell him about the pidgey. “Like Candy said,” Spark continued. “You’re human for sure. No matter how your life started. Okay?”

“Okay,” Blanche said.

The other two had to leave shortly after in order to make it back to their respective team headquarters in time. Blanche was sorry to see them go. They couldn’t quite see the relationship as romantic yet, but they were starting to consider Spark and Candela to be very good friends.

And maybe that was how it started. As friends. There was always the chance to move on to other things later.

Then again, given the behaviour the other two had exhibited, they clearly didn’t view this as a platonic relationship of any sort.

When they got back to their office, Annie had a stack of reports waiting that needed their review and approval. She smiled at them as they slid behind their desk. “Did you have a good lunch?” she chirped.

“Yes, thank you,” Blanche replied. They picked up the first report in the stack and grimaced, already knowing that this one was going to be a mess. This tech was brilliant in the lab, but their writing left much to be desired.

“I’m glad you’re taking proper breaks now,” she said. “I thought you were going to be one of the types that works themselves to death when you first started, so I’m glad that’s not the case.”

Blanhce grimaced at being so accurately called out. “I am exactly that type.” It was difficult to focus on a conversation and skim a report at the same time, and their attention drifted away from Annie to the report in their hands. “I haven’t been given much of a choice about taking breaks at the moment, though.” After all, it was Spark and Candela who kept showing up unannounced and making them leave work that they otherwise wouldn’t.

Because Annie no longer registered in their mind, they missed her murmured, “Is that so?” and the thoughtful gleam in her eye. Therefore, they did not expect it later when she put her hands on their desk with a smile and said, “Chief! Leader Spark is here to pick you up!”

Blanche was in the middle of working through a thorny supplier issue and it took them a second to process what she’d said, so what came out was an intelligent, “Huh?”

Annie continued to smile. “Leader Spark is waiting for you down in reception! We couldn’t let him come up because of the Pokemon snuffles outbreak among some new breeding pairs at Instinct. It’s a minor illness but highly contagious, so it’s better if he doesn’t access the elevator used to transport lab pokemon.” While she talked, Annie packed the materials she knew they would want to take him with them into their briefcase, along with some thumb drives and a malfunctioning lure Blanche had been trying to repair in their spare time.

“But why is he here?” Blanche glanced at the clock. “It’s only six.”

“It’s 6:45.” Was it Blanche’s imagination or did Annie’s smile look a bit threatening? “I heard that you, Leader Spark, and Leader Candela have plans for the evening. It’s rude to keep them waiting!”

Blanche blinked at her as she tossed their coat over their shoulders and shoved their briefcase into their hands.

Baffled by Annie’s pushiness, Blanche nonetheless logged out of their computer and complied. They did not want to be on bad terms with their assistant, and it seemed important to Annie that Blanche clear out. The warning edge to her tone dissipated when Blanche stood up and shoved their arms through the sleeves of their coat.

They eyed Annie with suspicion. “You seem to be in quite a hurry to see me out.”

“Not at all!” That was feigned innocence if Blanche ever saw it. “It’s just that Leader Spark is already here and all, and it would be rude to make him wait.”

Blanche didn’t know what she was up to, but they supposed it wouldn’t be anything nefarious. To their understanding, Annie had been with Mystic for some time and there had never been any complaints about her conduct. “All right. Have a good evening.”

“You too, Chief! See you tomorrow!”

Blanche locked the office door behind them, and with a final wave, Annie skipped off to her own, smaller office, presumably to get ready to leave herself.

Spark was indeed waiting when Blanche reached the main level. Rather than his typical leader attire, he was wearing jeans that appeared to have torn and faded through wear rather than been purchased that way and a T-shirt that said “If found, return to Go.”

“Is that a custom shirt?” Blanche asked as they approached.

Spark had been browsing memes on his phone. At the sound of Blanche’s voice, he put his phone away and leaped up to take their hands. Blanche was caught off guard and let him, though their cheeks went pink when he squeezed their hands with obvious affection. “Heya, Blanche! Ready to go?”

“I suppose. I’d like to stop by my place and change, if that’s all right.”

“No prob!” Spark let go of one of Blanche’s hands, but held on to the other as he led them to where he’d parked his car on the street. “And yeah, me’n Go had these made up a li’l while after I started with Instinct. I keep it and the jeans in a bag at work in case my clothes get yucked. You know how it is, working with pokemon.”

“Indeed.” Blanche slid into the passenger’s seat and crossed their legs. “I find your change of clothes much more practical than Candela’s.”

Spark laughed, and Blanche knew they were both thinking of the red dress and accessories from the other day. “Yeah, well, Candy’s like that. She does have a change of more practical clothes at Valor, too. And gym clothes. She says she’s gotta be prepared for any situation, her appearance included. Gotta admire that, even if it’s not for me.”

“I suppose.”

They pulled in next to Blanche’s apartment. Blanche went upstairs to stow away their briefcase and change into something more casual. They weren’t comfortable enough with the other two yet to not dress on the nicer end of casual, so they put on their nicest pair of jeans and a teal button-up shirt. After that they floundered a little, unsure what was expected of them and if they needed to bring anything else. Spark had said they just needed to show up, but did they really?

This was ridiculous. They were keeping him waiting with pointless dithering. Blanche sighed and trooped back out. Spark had passed the time by browsing memes again, and he put his phone away and headed in what Blanche assumed was the direction of his own home.

The inside of Spark’s apartment was cluttered and cozy, but also gave away the fact that a bachelor lived there. There was equipment for raising baby pokemon scattered about, dirty dishes scattered in the sink, and Blanche saw through an open door that Spark’s shower curtain was shoved straight through the rod. There was a nice smell wafting from the kitchen, and Candela poked her head out.

“Spark! I pulled the stuff in the oven like you asked!” she said, coming over to give Spark a hug. They seemed to have adjusted easily to the reality of being soulmates and had made the shift from friends to lovers without thinking too deeply about it. Blanche wished they could be so lighthearted about things.

“Thanks, Candy. Ya got it at the right temperature, yeah?” he asked, kicking off his shoes and placing them on the rack by the door. The shoes on the rack were a mess, but Blanche supposed the fact that they were up off the floor was a point in Spark’s favour as they discarded their own shoes and added them to the mess.

“Of course I’ve got them on the right temp. I know how to work an oven,” Candela said, her lips turning downward in a pout. This might be the first time Blanche had seen her without lipstick. Candela rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest as Spark passed her on the way into the kitchen. “He doesn’t trust me,” she huffed to Blanche, who smiled.

“I do trust ya, Candy! I just… gotta make sure.” Blanche could not see Spark from their vantage point, but they could hear pots clanking as he moved around.

With no idea what else to do, since they doubted they would fit in Spark’s kitchen while he and Candela were already in there, Blanche sat on the couch. Their lap was immediately invaded by a clutch of tiny Vulpix kits, who seemed to have been sleeping under a blanket until Blanche disturbed them. Delighted, Blanche scratched their little heads and was relieved that they had not chosen to sit on that blanket. If they had crushed the little babies, they would have died.

There was a knock at the door, which Candela went to answer. “Hello Rocket,” she said, managing somehow to sound both cheerful and menacing at the same time.

The response was unmistakably Noire. “Bite me.”

Noire stomped into the apartment still wearing their boots. “We brought booze- oh, babies!” they broke off with a gasp. Noire shoved the packs of beer into Candela’s arms and knelt on the floor in front of Blanche to coo at the kits.

Amelie kicked off her own boots, gave Candela a polite nod, and came in to join them.

Whatever Spark was doing in the kitchen caused the apartment to be full of delectable smells. Noire kept sniffing the air as they tried to steal all of the Vulpix kits from Blanche’s lap. Blanche kept stealing them back, and this continued until the kits began to protest loudly and Amelie confiscated them all.

Noire counted this as a victory until they realized that she did not plan to share with them, and they returned to the couch to sulk with Blanche.

Spark came out of the kitchen bearing steaming pans of food, and they all gravitated in that direction with their mouths watering. “I didn’t know you could cook,” Blanche commented to Spark.

He grinned, but there was an edge of shyness to it. “Oh, yeah, I love to cook. Feeding people is one of my favourite things.”

There was rice and stir-fried veggies, a platter of meatballs, bread that appeared home-made, though it was not fresh from the oven, and a plate of fresh-baked cookies. They all piled their plates high and settled around the living room, since Spark didn’t have enough chairs in his tiny eating area, and the chairs he did have held baskets of sleeping Pichu.

Candela and Spark opted to sit on the floor, sitting close enough to brush against Blanche’s legs. Amelie sat on the couch with Noire half lounging in her lap. Whenever Noire’s feet came too close to Blanche’s lap, and therefore their plate, Blanche would pinch Noire’s toes.

“This is delicious,” said Blanche. On impulse, they ruffled Spark’s hair, and was immediately embarrassed.

Spark twisted around to grin up at them. “Thanks! Glad you like it!” He lifted one hand to squeeze Blanche’s knee, and their face went hot. Spark blinked in surprise at their reaction, then smiled. “Hey, uh, Blanche,” he said, almost shy.

“Hm?”

“Sorry if this is sudden, but… Can I kiss you?”

Blanche flushed all over and a nervous, fluttery feeling filled their chest. It was probably too soon, but Blanche wasn’t as opposed to the idea as they thought they would be.

Blanche’s hands clenched their jeans and they bit their lower lip as they nodded. “I suppose,” they said, aware that their voice sounded small and uncertain.

Spark had not removed his hand from Blanche’s knee. He kept it there for support as he turned toward Blanche and shifted into a kneeling position. Blanche’s heart pounded against their ribs as he leaned closer. When they felt his breath on their face and his hand cup their cheek, they closed their eyes.

The kiss was soft and gentle. It was obvious that Spark was trying not to scare them away. Blanche’s hand came up to grip Spark’s t-shirt, and they only pulled away when Noire started making fake gagging sounds.

“Blanche, gross,” Noire groaned.

Blanche turned their head to glare at their twin. “Like you don’t kiss Amelie in front of me.”

Noire glared back. “That’s different. I’m eating here!”

Blanche was going to snap back, but hands on their face distracted them. Blanche looked up in surprise as Candela shoved Spark out of the way and settled on Blanche’s lap. “Aw, does little Noire not like PDA?” she purred, snuggling against Blanche’s chest and turning their face the same red as her t-shirt. She looped an arm around Blanche’s neck and smirked at Noire.

While Noire sputtered, Candela leaned in so close that her breath tickled Blanche’s ear as she whispered, “May I have a kiss too, darling?”

Half the reason they accepted was desire, but they would be lying if the other half wasn’t the need to antagonize Noire.

Whatever concerns Spark had about scaring Blanche away, Candela did not share. This was not a light, gentle kiss. It was hot and hungry, and by the time Candela pulled away Blanche was panting to catch their breath.

Candela smiled at them, softer and happier than Blanche had ever seen her.

They opened their mouth to say something, but were interrupted by Spark’s whistle. “Nice, Candy,” he said, awed.

Candela snorted.

Blanche peeked to the side to gauge Noire’s reaction. Noire was red-faced and sputtering. When their eyes met Blanche’s they snapped. “What the HELL. Did you invite me here just to watch you guys make out?”

Blanche couldn’t help it - they started to laugh. Soon the others joined in, even Amelie, while Noire whined and sputtered.

This wasn’t bad. It was quite nice. Blanche wouldn’t mind having soulmates, if it meant they could have a lot of days like this in their future.

[polyamquackity]

I saw you reblog a post about wtnv and my brain immediately went "friend likes night vale!!!! tell friend about your project!!!!!!" so that's what I'm gonna do-

we're currently doing a project in class in which we're supposed to pick a topic from a list (technically it's a group project but I'm doing it on my own), do some research and present our results in a "creative way". predicable as I am, I picked LGBTQ+ and wrote an episode of welcome to night vale to present it!

I was only allowed to make it about 15 minutes long, so it's not quite the length of a typical episode, but I'm still pretty happy with the script I wrote regardless, even though it's almost painfully self indulgent-

Cinders that sounds so cool oh my gods!!!!!!!!!! Self indulgent is good sometimes!!!