#errors in resentment
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Alright chat I'll make you a deal. When I reach 1000 followers on any of my platforms I will commission Davis to voice act this segment from my Errors in Resentment fic, and get it animated.
His grin wavered back into a frown, “Don’t worry about it.” He muttered, turning back to the surface of the table. “I am worried about it!” Ruin shrilled, “Quite frankly, your behavior as of late has been extremely worrying!” He continued, uncrossing his arms to use his hands for emphasis. “You haven’t even touched any of your personal projects in a week, and you’ve made hardly any progress on Bloodmoon because you’ve been burying yourself inside of your own code! I’m allowed to worry!” Irritation bubbled up and spilled over, “Why? Because I’m not working on your shit anymore?” Eclipse fired back, sitting back to scowl up at Ruin. “That’s why you brought me back, right? To work on your shit?” “Well, yes, but that’s not why I’m worried!” “Then why?!” Eclipse asked voice strained near Sun levels of pitch. He threw his hands up in exasperation, “You treat me well, you aren’t violent to the point you cause harm, and I know you can be dangerous, but you haven’t tried to pull a fast one on me yet. I’ve seen how you treat that golden idiot and his damned brother, but you don’t dance circles around me. So why, Ruin? Why do you worry, why do you act like you care ?!” He seethed, half out of the chair by now, on more physically equal footing than he had been sitting, when Ruin was sitting on the table. “Oh I don’t know, maybe because I do ?!” Ruin yelled back, posture stiff, built-in claws fully extended. A defensive position, Eclipse’s HUD informed him, a fighting position. “Well, don’t! Don’t care, it’s not going to get you anywhere! I’m not going to change, I’m not going to become this hero you look up to Sun for!” Eclipse snarled, own claws flexing in response. Geared for a fight, he hadn’t had a fight in stars knew how long, maybe this is what he needed. Piss off Ruin so those damnable emotions would stop. “Quite frankly! I don’t want you to change!” Ruin shot back, “Have you ever once considered maybe I enjoy your company the way that it is? Or are you too blind by your own fucking insecurities that you can’t see outside of the box that is Eclipse?”
Lucky me I don't expect to hit 1k for a long while, I'm only at 400 as of writing this. So I've plenty of time to let this fester. (For those that don't know what EiR is it's basically my "Eclipse and Ruin are friends" AU that I made before we got copy Eclipse.)
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It hurts to be something…
Its worse to be nothing-
With
You…
And then he goes on to commit mass genocide bc his boyfriend remembered shit womp womp :D /hj
Error is by CrayonQueen
Ink is by Comyet
Fanfic is made by @honeybubbletea33 <3
Lyric reference is Promise by Laufey
#I got lazy at the end hajcbakxb#ive been sick resently so my art isn’t the best rn =_=#this fanfic gives me so much Inspiration <3#undertale#undertale fanart#undertale au#utmv au#utmv#utmv fanart#sans#errorink#ink utmv#ink and error#ink sans#error utmv#errorink fanfic#error sans
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honestly I really like the fact we don't know shit about Laura Milkovich cause neither Mickey or Mandy knows shit about Monica and they haven't met her either it seems fair
#i mean its only fair that we're in the dark about laura#i don't like the fact they're always contradicting their previous statement but only cause it is not on purpose but a script error#otherwise i would be fine with it i could kind of enjoy it actually#i also bet they never really exchanged much about either their mothers. mandy seems to resent hers and ian clearly loves monica and shes#fucked but also sick so excusable? and mandy doesnt like to hear about it cause makes her feel bad. mickey just rarely speeks about his mom#and he never asks about monica cause he kind of hates her for the whole s4 and s5 thing and for making ian cry s1? and thats cause he doesn#even know that monica was the one to take ian to the club s2 leading to him getting with ned and the s4 thing right?#ian gallagher#mickey milkovich#mandy milkovich#shameless#shameless us#monica gallagher#og.#fic idea
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yung notes app ko here sa phone ko puro kalungkutan tots and feels laman kasi tbfh sobrang lungkot ko lately. i know it's important that i go through tough times and not run from them, but damn it, im just so tired of going through it. im so tired. im exhausted. i feel depleted. i just feel so weak and defeated all over.
#i wanna write all my sadness away on an actual notebook slash journal but im the kind of person that categorize slash organize things lmao#like the journal that i hv are for happy days or normal chill days#i dont hv a journal dedicated to sadness kqsi lately keri ko naman imanage mga kinakalungkutan ko#but ever since this recent great loss happened hindi ko na kaya imanage yung lungkot galit tampo sa circumstances sa buhay sa mundo sa laha#umiiyak ako kung saan man ako abutan ng lungkot like di ko mapigilan yung luha#a few days ago nasa bgc me kasi may three resto features kami tapos umiiyak ako habang nagshshoot shutangena#pero ayun sobrang lungkot ko talaga na gusto ko magpakalayo layo muna but also ayoko umalis ng bahay kasi kakauwi niya lang samin ulit#unfortunately umuwi siya in an urn na and i just cant gahd bakit parang ang highlight ng buhay ko ay death and grieving#pagod na pagod na pagod na ko#eniwey ayon nga i tried looking for a journal sa nbs nybg nakaraan pero nafrustrate ako kasi wala lang basta sobrang wala ako sa sarili ko#soayon sa phone ko lahat binubuhos tapos sobrang wala ako energy to do home stuff werq stuff#i just wanna drop all my responsibilities and wallow in sadness and anger and resentment#im avoiding questioning things but damn it bAkeht ba to kailangan mangyari#bAkeht ganito bAkeht kailangan may bawi parati#ang hirap maging thankful lately but im rlly trying my best and hardest#donut#p.s. binasa ko ulit tong post ko lalo na the tags and i saw grammatical errors pero wtvr malungkot ako ngayon kiber na nyeta
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You wanna hear about some absolutely maladaptive brain weirdness? That I have never seen anyone else have?
My brain’s uncanny valley response is just broken as hell. Most things that would trigger it just do not, I am so chilled out about dolls, mannequins, weird photoshops, masks, etc. Those don’t set anything off unless they hit that primal unease dead faces cause
But for some fucking reason my uncanny valley response is 90% just reactive to small children under about 7ish (over that and their proportions are more normal, they stop doing that Small Child Stare, and are less likely to just unpredictably bolt or grab you-- so they’re also not as overstimulating to me as well), and some monkeys that have light eyes. Monkeys and apes with black or brown eyes don’t trigger it, even if they have very close to human facial proportions. JUST certain types of monkeys with the lighter eye colors. Lemurs are totally fine
What the fuck even caused this
#vena vents#not art#I've had bad experiences with other small children as a small child into adolescence so fucked up programming error basically?#that is the only thing I can think of#other than the dislike of being stared at and small children don't know about boundaries#also a lot of parents just let them get away with shit like breaking things or hurting/harassing animals which is most of the exps I had#when I was also like 6#but my resentment goes to the parents and not the kids because their brains are still mush
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I’m now imagining the bad sanses attacking an outertale au and when the star sanses go to the au swap/berror are just looking at the stars in amazement since they probably never seen them before outside of fake ones I bet they’ve seen at the dump
YESSSS U GET IT!!!!!
Dream n ink start trying to prevent damage n blue just like. freezes n stares at the stars
#me 2 tbh i would explode positively if i was in outertale#i have this idea of berror somewhat resenting outertale bcs he knows error likes it n he thinks thats where error was when he was abandoned#whether thats true? up 2 interpretation#ask box shenanigans :3
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.
#it's my first day back at work since it all happened. and um#i'm just haunted by the sadness and resentment i feel about how much time i lost away from our little family last year.#lost to scheduling errors and resting from this ONE 16 hour shift each week#how i had to go straight to my next shift afterward for months#idk man. it feels awful. why didn't i put my foot down? why did i sacrifice my health and my family?#i was going 40ish hours EVERY week without sleeping. then i would crash for 9 hours and go right back to work. for what?#2 days off that i have to spend playing catch up anyways? for that??#and here i am still working it! still compromising. when i know this shift doesn't fit into my schedule or my life or any goal that i have#that it stresses out my partner and it might have killed my pet#like... why am i doing this!
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the dilemma of having ideas that would be best expressed as comics but being afraid to draw
#im gonna give it an actual shot sometime soon. maybe in a sort of storyboard kinda look so i can give myself acceptable room for error#anyways. linebeck comic idea. kinda in vein with that ‘everyone on mercay knows linebeck’ had going on hang on#salty talks#i love using mask stuff with linebeck. both in an autism sense and i nthe general sense that he has multiple different outward fronts for#different situations. the idea that he lets other people decide on those masks for him and he goes along w what they might want#to see from him. not really in a people-pleasing way more in a way to get what he wants and avoid getting hurt or. whatever criticized ig#but its to the degree where his actual self is very… repressed? stunted? restless? he doesnt actually act like himself a lot and the maskin#tires him out and drives him to despise others bc he does it as a sort of defense mechanism and to get what he wants so in a sense whats#under those masks has turned into almost like a muzzled beast. hes abrasive and resentful and exhausted and just a lot of pent up nastiness#like there are times when he drops the mask and its fine (like when he does it around link in ph or. like. if hes in a good mood#but a lot of the time that pent up masked resentment is what bubbles up to the surface when hes alone and he finds ways to utilize it#this leads into the idea that all of that pent-up… frustration? with SO MUCH gets wrangled by bellum n used as motivation for bellumbeck#like. i do like the idea that bellumbeck is an awful fulfillment of a lot of things for linebeck. a chance to actually be able to protect#himself in a fight but also a brief outlet for every awful thought he’s repressed and shoved down. some of those bad thoughts being directe#at link ofc like theres a lot of envy and frustration there and it does lead to a lot of the guilt he feels afterwards. i like the line abt#him asking link if he knows he wouldnt hurt him is like him just saying that but also asking himself. like. he was forced to act on bad#thoughts yknow so then hes afraid of what that makes him even if it was forced. anyways. linebeck acting differently to get what he wants#and burying and allowing his actual nature to fester and become resentful until he finally drops that mask shit and airs it out#just some assorted linebeck thoughts here. taking whats a puddle in canon and turning that shit into a sea bc why not. this idea probably#doesnt come across in any of my current fics but i want to do smth with it going forward yknow#linebeck ideas. yippee. idk how far into ooc territory im in now and at this point i dont fucking care cuz im tired of worrying abt it
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I'm just going to sit here and be amazed at the fact that you can spend nearly twelve hours making a case of morality being complicated; that actions rarely have only good or only evil consequences; that magnanimous actions can be done for selfish reasons; that people can have selfless and selfish motivations at once; that you can develop an individual morality while social ethics remain at the corner of your eye to define yourself in line or in opposite to them;
and end up with an audience nodding and smiling patiently, waiting for the simple solution to get pulled out of your hat like a very tired rabbit.
#not going to go into the main tag but you know what this is about#it goes for everything from evil coffee through crowley had a memory wipe but yes also to#just wait for aziraphale to understand the error of his ways bc he doesn't like the clothes#sorry i just don't like my angst raw#no i like it well done. very well done. practically charred.#give me characters facing each others's death and making a case of how unimprssed they are#give me resent that lasts beyond villain getting what he wants#also give me a catharsis but at the right timing
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Liesl's desperation to fight for Britt to live while Britt has already given up and is ready to die is heartbreaking.
#general hospital#britt westbourne#liesl obrecht#tying britt's death to joss/dex was a colossal writint error#it's hard not to be resentful when watching britt and liesl like this#and that's 100% on the writers#britt's death shouldn't feel like a waste
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Would you write Ruin having a mental breakdown?
Yes! I have before and I will most definitely do it again! He's so fun to fuck with emotionally. I've done a few different rambles about it for different AUs that I'll eventually get around to writing. He has a few emotional breakdowns in Errors in Resentment too.
Ruin struggled to find words, his corrupted processors coming up blank with what he wanted to say. The feelings he wanted to convey. Things he didn’t understand, not fully, but didn’t want to run from them like Eclipse did. Failing to find what he wanted to say, to figure out what he wanted to do about the situation, he let go of Eclipse’s hand with a nervous laugh. “Never mind.” He muttered, stepping back and watching as Eclipse hesitated, then left the room. He ignored the frustrated tears that spilled down his cheeks, ignored the way his code snapped and bristled at him in irritation for his inaction, ignored how corrupted systems surged forward to paint his vision in staticky purple. He grabbed the cup Eclipse had given him, rinsed it, dried it, and stared at it before hurling it across the room as hard as he could, getting no satisfaction in the way it shattered against the door. With a silent sob, he sank to the floor, ignoring the notifications swarming his vision about the mess, curling up into himself and letting emotion consume him.
The silly little snippet of emotional breakdown from EiR
Related Post - Ask Game
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11/21/2023 9:42am
I really want to kill myself. This is all bullshit.
#error vents#im starting to resent having to be alive#sometimes I daydream that we win the lottery just so that no one would be financially fucked if I did so#can’t be too upset if you got millions to take care of you#cw suicide ideation#venting
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﹙ 🎬 ﹚ ────UH OH, I’M FALLING IN LOVE.
𝓢YPNOSiS. you and heeseung have been rivals for as long as you could remember, constantly competing for the top spot in school—basically everything. living next door to each other only added to the fire, the tension between you, especially when heeseung’s cocky aura never seems to waver. but one single encounter shifts the entire dynamic, leading to confusing emotions arising, jealousy, and new surprising revelations. what happens when rivalry starts to feel like it’s growing into something more?
୨୧ 𝓟AiRING. academic rival! lee heeseung x fem! reader, e2l, platonic jake sim! x reader.
୨୧ 𝓖ENRE. frenemies to enemies to lovers trope, neighbours trope, slowburnish, she fell first, he fell harder, angst but vv happy & fluffy ending!! non!idol au.
୨୧ WARNiNGS. profanities, mean girl harassing yn, slight miscommunications, overthinking, heeseungs’ unfortunately vv dumb T-T, kissing, jealousy, insecurities, not proofread so expect spelling errors :3!!
୨୧ WORD COUNT. 10,283 | 10.2K
𝓟𝗟𝗔𝗬𝗟i𝗦𝗧 ﹕ labyrinth, taylor swift, let the light in, lana del rey, white mustang, lana del rey, i love you, i’m sorry, gracie abrams, nobody gets me, sza, fishtail, lana del rey, bel air, lana del rey, intro (end of the world), ariana grande, daydreamin’, ariana grande.
NOTE. after three days it’s finally complete:3 this is my first 10k+ work and i’m really proud of it!! feedback is always appreciated<3 ig this is another (late) birthday post for heeseung bc ilhsm!! ㅠㅠ
LiBRARY | © won4kiss all rights reserved
YOU HAVE ALWAYS HATED LEE HEESEUNG IN ALL YOUR YEARS OF LIVING.
or at least, that’s what you told yourself after your crush on him in freshman year, long before he decided he didn’t wanna be friends anymore—everyday as you stared at the back of his head in class, as you watched him stride confidently down the halls, or caught a glimpse of him outside your window, you knew you hated him.
it wasn’t hatred in the traditional sense, but rather an intense, gnawing resentment that had grown over the years.
he was your biggest rival—had been since childhood.
every achievement, every reward you earned, was always tainted by the fact that heeseung was right there, just a step ahead or a breath behind, competing with you for the same crown.
for as long as you could remember, it had been you and heeseung battling for the title of “number 1” in everything.
academics, sports, student council—if there was something to win, one of you would, and the other would be left second place, seething with anger.
you both knew it, and so did the rest of the school—the rivalry between the two of you was practically legendary.
and it didn’t help that you were neighbors.
from your bedroom window, you had a perfect view into heeseung’s room.
the distance between the two houses was just a few meters, and if you opened your windows at the same time, you could practically hear each other breathing.
there were nights when you could see the dim glow of his desk lamp as he studied late into the evening—no doubt working just as hard as you were, trying to maintain his title over you.
heeseung was infuriating, cocky, arrogant, and—worst of all—talented.
it wasn’t enough that he was smart—he was also athletic, charismatic, and effortlessly incredibly popular.
he’d never let you forget it, either, there wasn’t a day that passed without him throwing a smug comment your way about how he’d beat you in the last exam or how he scored higher in a math test by a single point.
“you almost had me that time,” he’d say with a smirk, as if being second place wasn’t a knife in your chest.
so, naturally, you’d responded in a way anyone else would, throwing curses and insults his way whenever you could.
it was a defense mechanism, a way to keep the bitter rivalry alive.
but deep down, you had to admit, there was something almost exciting about it.
heeseung pushed you to be better, to work harder—and while you loathed the look he gave you every time he won, there was something about his presence that you couldn’t quite shake off.
then, one morning, everything changed.
it was a normal tuesday, and you were getting ready for school as usual.
the sun was barely rising, casting a soft golden light into your room.
you were standing in front of your mirror, adjusting your uniform, when something caught your eye from the window—more specifically, someone.
heeseung.
at first, you didn’t think much of it—after all, his window was right across from yours, and you’d seen him countless times getting ready for the day.
but then you realized—he wasn’t just standing there, he was shirtless.
your heart skipped a beat—you froze, eyes wide, as you took in the sight of him.
his hair was still messy from his slumber, and his skin was glowing softly in the glow of the morning light.
you’d never really thought about heeseung in any way other than as your obnoxious rival, but seeing him like this—bare and vulnerable—you couldn’t deny that it did something to you.
you tried to tear your eyes away, but for some reason, you couldn’t.
you felt your cheeks grow hot as you stood there, practically staring at him.
and that’s when he turned his head.
he caught you.
heeseung’s eyes flickered toward your window, and for a split second, you thought maybe—just maybe—he wouldn’t notice.
but then his lips curled into that familiar smirk, the one that always made you want to punch him, and he raised an eyebrow.
slowly, he stepped closer to the window, clearly amused by the fact that you’d been caught staring.
your heart hammered in your chest, this was the most mortifying moment of your life.
before you could react, heeseung opened his window, pushing it up with a soft creak.
his smirk widened as he leaned against the windowsill, his bare chest still on full display.
and then, he did something you didn’t expect—he motioned for you to open your window.
for a moment, you just stood there, frozen in place, unsure of what to do.
every fiber of your being screamed at you to ignore him, to pretend this never happened.
but there was something about the way he was looking at you—something playful, something almost… flirty? it sent your brain into a whirlwind of confusion.
with shaky hands, you hesitated, then slowly cracked open your window, just enough to hear him.
“what? did you enjoy the view?” he asked, his voice dripping with amusement.
your face flushed even hotter—this was not happening. lee heeseung was flirting with you?
he had never flirted with you before—he was usually busy insulting you or trying to one-up you.
but now? now he was standing there, shirtless, with that stupid grin on his face, teasing you like this was some kind of game.
“i—what are you even talking about?” you stammered, trying desperately to regain some sense of control. “i wasn’t staring, freak!”
heeseung chuckled softly, the sound sending an unexpected shiver down your spine.
“sure, you weren’t. it’s okay to admit it, you know? i get it. i am pretty hard to resist.”
you gaped at him, utterly speechles, was this really happening? was he seriously being… flirty?
your brain couldn’t handle it—without thinking, you slammed your window shut, the sound echoing through the quiet morning air.
your heart was racing as you quickly yanked the blinds down, cutting off any possibility of him seeing your red, embarrassed face.
you leaned back against the wall, your hand pressed to your chest as you tried to calm down.
what the hell just happened? was this some new tactic of his to throw you off your game? to mess with your head right before exams?
or… was it something else entirely?
for the first time in years, you found yourself truly confused about lee heeseung, and that terrified you.
you tried to push the incident out of your mind, but it clung to your thoughts like a stubborn stain you couldn’t scrub away.
that strange encounter with heeseung left you feeling unsettled, his cocky grin and the way his eyes lingered on you making you feel things you didn’t want to acknowledge.
flirting. it was definitely flirting. but why? what was his angle?
in the days that followed, things got even weirder.
heeseung, your sworn academic rival, the bane of your existence, had suddenly… softened.
the mean remarks, the casual taunts—gone.
instead, he’d been acting almost… considerate?
you noticed it first when you were walking into class one morning, arms full with textbooks and a coffee in hand.
normally, heeseung would be the first to slip in front of you and let the door slam shut in your face—just to get under your skin, of course.
but that morning, he held the door open for you, his eyes meeting yours briefly as he gave you a small nod.
“thanks,” you mumbled, confused but too caught off guard to say anything more.
he didn’t say anything either—no smug response, no condescending smile.
he just let you walk through the door and quietly followed you inside. the whole thing was… unnerving.
then, during class, he didn’t try to one-up you during discussions, didn’t toss his usual gloating looks your way when he answered a question right before you could.
he was just sitting there, minding his own business.
you couldn’t understand it. this wasn’t the heeseung you knew—the heeseung you’d spent years battling, exchanging insults, and outdoing each other.
this version of him, quiet and strangely kind, threw you off balance, and it only got worse.
in the hallways, heeseung started greeting.
not with his usual sarcasm, but with a simple, “hey.” sometimes, he’d even smile at you—an actual smile, not that infuriating smirk he usually wore.
you didn’t know what to do with it. your brain felt like it was short-circuiting every time he looked at you, like you couldn’t reconcile this new heeseung with the one who had spent years making your blood boil.
it wasn’t just you who noticed the change, either—your friends started giving you weird looks every time heeseung passed by without some snarky comment.
one day, your friend mina leaned over during lunch and whispered, “what’s up with heeseung? he’s been acting like… different lately.”
“i don’t know,” you muttered, stabbing at your food with more force than necessary. “maybe he’s finally grown up.” mina raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced.
“or maybe he’s just tired of pretending to hate you.”
you nearly choked on your drink. “what?”
“come on,” mina said, smirking. “it’s obvious. heeseung’s been obsessed with you for years. he’s probably just finally figured out that he actually likes you.”
you scoffed, shaking your head. “that’s ridiculous. heeseung hates me. we’ve been rivals since we were kids.”
mina shrugged. “rivals, sure. but that doesn’t mean he hates you. sometimes people use rivalry as an excuse to get close to someone.”
you didn’t want to believe it. you couldn’t believe it. heeseung liking you? it made no sense.
he was obnoxious, arrogant, and had made your life hell for years.
there was no way he suddenly had feelings for you. no. it was all some game—some twisted strategy to throw you off your game. right?
but then there was that nagging feeling deep inside, the one you didn’t want to acknowledge— the same ones you felt not too many years ago.
the one that kept reminding you of how your heart had skipped a beat when you saw him shirtless through the window.
how your pulse quickened every time he smiled at you now, even if you hated to admit it.
the realization was creeping in slowly, like a slow, dread filled idea building in your chest.
the truth was, heeseung had always been more than just your rival. he’d always been the one person who could get under your skin in ways no one else could.
and maybe, there was something there—something that went beyond the rivalry.
but before you could make sense of it, everything had changed again.
a few days later, you noticed a new face in school.
she was striking—tall, with long, dark hair and a bright smile that seemed to light up the room.
she moved through the hallways with an air of confidence, making friends effortlessly.
within days, it felt like everyone knew her name—you quickly learned her name too: haerin.
at first, you didn’t pay much attention to her.
she was new, sure, but you had more important things to worry about—like the upcoming exams.
but then you noticed something that made your stomach twist in a way you couldn’t explain.
heeseung was spending time with her—a lot of time.
you saw them together between classes, walking side by side, talking and laughing.
heeseung, who had been oddly nice to you lately, now seemed to be focusing all his attention on this new girl.
it was subtle at first—just casual conversations, a friendly smile here and there—but soon, you started seeing them together all the time.
and it wasn’t just their proximity that bothered you. it was the way they were so… touchy.
heeseung would lean in close when he talked to her, his hand brushing her arm casually as he laughed at something she said.
she’d playfully nudge him back, her eyes sparkling.
it was the kind of easy, natural closeness that made you feel sick to your stomach.
jealousy was a foreign emotion for you—especially when it came to lee heeseung.
you’d never thought you’d care about who he spent time with—but seeing him with haerin, seeing how comfortable they were together, made something ugly and bitter rise in your chest.
you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being replaced.
that whatever strange connection you and heeseung had been developing was being overshadowed by this new girl.
as much as you tried to ignore it, the jealousy gnawed at you.
you couldn’t help but compare yourself to haerin—she was charming, effortlessly likable.
she fit in with heeseung’s world in a way that you never could.
you were his rival, his equal in competition, but haerin? she was someone who made him smile without the sharp edges.
you hated it. hated how it made you feel. hated how you started to question if heeseung had ever really changed at all, or if he had just been playing some long game with you.
days passed, and heeseung’s attention on haerin only seemed to grow.
they were inseparable now, and every time you saw them together, your heart clenched painfully.
the worst part was, heeseung barely even looked at you anymore.
he had stopped greeting you in the hallways, stopped holding the door for you, stopped leaving those lingering glances that had started to make your stomach flip.
it felt like you were disappearing from his world.
but maybe that was for the best, you thought—maybe heeseung was never meant to be anything more than your rival.
and maybe you were just fooling yourself into thinking there could be something more.
you had always prided yourself on your confidence.
in all the years you spent locked in competition with heeseung, you’d never doubted your abilities.
sure, he was good—annoyingly good—but so were you.
you matched him step for step, beat him sometimes, and when you didn’t, you got back up, ready to fight again.
but now, something was shifting, and it had nothing to do with grades or exams.
it had everything to do with haerin.
insecurity was new for you, but it was impossible to ignore, everywhere you looked, she was there—laughing with heeseung, brushing against him like they’d known each other for years, not just a couple of weeks.
they were so casual with each other, so comfortable.
you told yourself it didn’t matter, that heeseung’s friendships didn’t affect you.
but it did. it was starting to eat away at you, piece by piece.
what was worse was that you found yourself wondering why it wasn’t you.
why had heeseung been so kind to you one minute and then completely shifted his attention to someone else?
had all those smiles, those lingering glances, meant nothing? maybe you’d misread everything.
maybe it had never been anything more than a temporary truce in your endless battle.
but no matter how much you tried to brush it off, the truth was impossible to deny—you were jealous.
you hated that it felt like haerin was taking your place in heeseung’s life.
you hated the way she made him laugh so easily—and most of all, you hated how small and insignificant it made you feel.
and then came the final straw.
it was a friday afternoon, the cafeteria bustling with noise as students crowded around tables for lunch.
you were sitting with your usual group, mina chatting about some drama she’d seen on tv, but your attention was elsewhere—locked on the sight of heeseung and haerin across the room.
they were sitting together, as usual—haerin was leaning in close, whispering something that made heeseung throw his head back in laughter.
your chest tightened at the sight—you tried to look away, to focus on mina’s story, but it was impossible.
that green, bitter feeling of jealousy twisted in your stomach, making you feel sick.
“are you even listening?” mina’s voice broke through your thoughts, and you blinked, turning back to her.
“yeah, sorry,” you muttered, forcing a smile. “just… tired, i guess.”
mina raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced, but before she could say anything, someone approached your table.
it was haerin.
you looked up, startled to see her standing there with a carton of milk in hand, a sweet smile on her face.
but there was something about her expression that felt… off.
her eyes gleamed with a certain smugness that sent warning bells ringing in your mind.
“oops—” haerin’s voice was sickeningly sweet as she ‘accidentally’ tipped the milk carton over, sending the liquid spilling across the table and right into your lap.
your entire body stiffened as the cold milk soaked through your clothes, shock momentarily paralyzing you.
the cafeteria seemed to go quiet around you as everyone turned to look at the scene unfolding.
haerin’s smile didn’t waver for a second.
���oh my god, i’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, though there wasn’t a trace of sincerity in her voice. “that was totally an accident!”
you could feel your pulse pounding in your ears as your mind raced to process what had just happened.
the milk was cold, seeping into your uniform, but that was the least of your concerns.
you knew it wasn’t an accident. haerin had done it on purpose, and judging by the look in her eyes, she wanted to humiliate you in front of everyone.
for a second, you felt frozen—the room was watching, the sound of whispers starting to make its way through the crowd as they waited to see what you would do.
“it wasn’t an accident,” you said, your voice sharp and louder than you intended.
you stood up abruptly, glaring at haerin. “you did that on purpose.”
haerin’s smile didn’t falter—she tilted her head, feigning innocence as she blinked at you.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about. it was just an accident, really. no need to get so upset.”
the fake sweetness in her voice set your teeth on edge.
anger bubbled up in your chest, mixing with the hurt and insecurity you’d been bottling up for days.
“that’s a lie,” you snapped. “you’ve been trying to mess with me since you got here.”
the whispers around you grew louder as people leaned in, watching the confrontation unfold.
haerin’s eyes flickered with amusement, but before you could say anything else, a familiar voice cut through the tension.
“hey, what’s going on here?”
you turned to see heeseung standing a few steps away, his brows furrowed in confusion as he looked between you and haerin.
for a moment, relief washed over you. heeseung had seen everything, right? he’d understand what was happening, and for once, he’d take your side.
but then haerin turned her wide, innocent eyes on him, her lower lip jutting out in a perfect pout.
“i accidentally spilled milk on her,” she said, her voice soft. “but she thinks i did it on purpose. i don’t know why she’s so mad…”
you watched in disbelief as heeseung’s expression softened.
he glanced at you, but there was no anger in his eyes—only frustration.
“come on,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “it was an accident. don’t make a big deal out of it.”
your heart sank.
you couldn’t believe what you were hearing—heeseung was taking her side? after everything you’d been through, after all the strange kindness he’d shown you in the past few days, he was choosing to believe her over you?
“that’s not what happened!” you shouted, your voice breaking with frustration. “she did it on purpose! you saw—”
“just drop it,” heeseung said, cutting you off—his tone was tired, as if this whole situation was just an inconvenience to him.
“you’re seriously overreacting.”
the words hit you like a punch to the gut. overreacting? he was dismissing you—again.
something in you snapped—without another word, you turned on your heel and bolted from the cafeteria, ignoring the whispers and stares that followed.
the humiliation, the betrayal—it was too much to bear.
you found yourself in the empty janitor’s room, the quiet darkness swallowing you whole.
you slid down the wall, burying your face in your hands as the tears finally came.
everything hurt—your pride, your heart, and the foolish hope you’d had that heeseung might actually care about you.
the cold, dim room was silent, except for your quiet sobs.
you tried to keep them in, biting your lip, but the tears just kept coming.
your hands trembled as they gripped your knees, pulling yourself into a ball on the floor of the empty janitor’s room.
it was the only place you could think to hide, the only place where no one would find you in this humiliating state.
you couldn’t believe how things had turned out—everything was a mess.
not just the milk soaking into your uniform, but the betrayal from heeseung, the stupid jealousy you felt toward haerin, and the way the entire cafeteria had seen you break down.
your head spun with anger and sadness, and no matter how hard you tried to calm yourself, the tears kept flowing.
then, there was a soft knock on the door.
you stiffened, wiping your face furiously with the back of your sleeve.
whoever it was, you didn’t want them to see you like this.
but before you could pull yourself together, the door creaked open, and a familiar figure stepped inside.
“hey… are you okay?”
jake sim?
you blinked up at him, confused, you hadn’t expected anyone to come looking for you, least of all jake—heeseung’s rival on the basketball court and someone you’d barely spoken to outside of class.
he closed the door behind him, giving you a soft, understanding smile as he crouched down in front of you.
you sniffed, quickly wiping the remaining tears from your cheeks.
“what are you doing here?” you asked, your voice still shaky. jake shrugged, sitting down beside you on the cold floor.
“i saw what happened in the cafeteria. i figured you might want to be alone, but… i also thought you could use some company.”
you looked away, embarrassed that he’d witnessed everything—the last thing you wanted was for anyone to see you like this, but at the same time, the quiet sympathy in his voice was oddly comforting.
“i don’t need company,” you muttered, but the words lacked conviction.
jake chuckled softly. “maybe not, but i’m staying anyway.” for a few moments, neither of you said anything.
jake sat beside you in silence, giving you space to collect your thoughts—it was strange how easy it felt to be around him.
even though you’d never been particularly close, his presence wasn’t overwhelming or intrusive. it was just… there, solid and dependable.
finally, you sighed, leaning your head back against the wall. “it was her,” you said quietly, your voice barely above a whisper.
“haerin. she did it on purpose.”
jake nodded. “i figured. she’s been hanging around heeseung a lot lately. guess she thought picking a fight with you would get her more attention.”
you clenched your fists, feeling the anger bubble up again. “and heeseung… he just believed her. he didn’t even listen to me. he just… told me to drop it, like it didn’t matter.”
jake was silent for a moment, then sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“yeah, that wasn’t cool of him. i don’t know what’s going on with heeseung, but what he did today was wrong. you deserved better than that.”
the simple validation of your feelings made something inside you crack open.
you hadn’t realized how much you needed to hear that—how much you needed someone to understand what you were going through.
“thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
jake smiled at you, the kind of smile that felt genuine and warm. “anytime.”
for a while, you sat there in silence, letting the tension of the day slowly nib away in jake’s quiet company.
it was strange—this was the first real conversation you’d ever had with him, but somehow, it felt like you’d known him for longer.
there was no awkwardness, no pressure to fill the silence with unnecessary words. he was just… there.
after a while, you finally spoke again. “why are you being so nice to me?” you asked, glancing at him from the corner of your eye.
jake chuckled softly. “is it that surprising?”
“a little,” you admitted. “i mean, we’ve never really talked before.”
he nodded thoughtfully. “true, but i’ve seen you around. we’re in the same class, and you’re heeseung’s biggest rival. i guess i always admired how you handled him.”
you raised an eyebrow, surprised. “admired?”
“yeah,” he said with a smile. “heeseung can be a lot to deal with, but you never back down. you’re tough, and you’re not afraid to butt heads with him. that’s not something everyone can do.”
you blinked, taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.
no one had ever put it that way before—most people saw your rivalry with heeseung as petty or competitive, but jake seemed to see something more.
something you hadn’t even realized about yourself.
“thanks,” you murmured, unsure of what else to say.
jake gave you another easy smile. “no problem. and hey, if you ever need someone to vent to, i’m here. heeseung might be my rival on the court, but that doesn’t mean i’m on his side when it comes to this.”
for the first time all day, you felt a small, genuine smile tug at your lips.
jake’s kindness, his quiet reassurance, was exactly what you needed.
he didn’t try to fix everything or offer empty words of comfort. he just listened, and somehow, that made all the difference.
“thanks, jake,” you said softly. “i really do appreciate it.”
“anytime,” he replied with a grin, standing up and offering you a hand to help you off the floor.
you hesitated for a moment, then took it, letting him pull you to your feet.
as you both made your way out of the janitor’s room, you couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, like some of the weight on your chest had lifted.
jake’s unexpected kindness had done more to heal the hurt than you’d expected.
and as you walked side by side back to class, you realized that maybe, this was the beginning of a new friendship.
over the next few days, something unexpected happened—you found yourself spending more time with jake.
jake made everything feel a little easier, a little lighter, and you didn’t feel the constant pressure to put up walls around him.
at first, it was just small moments here and there, like passing each other in the hallways and exchanging knowing smiles, or sitting together during lunch when mina was busy.
with jake, there were no mind games, no intense competition, and definitely no betrayal.
the first time you laughed with him in class, you almost forgot the sting of what had happened with heeseung—almost.
it was small things at first. jake would crack a joke when you were feeling down, or lean over during study periods to ask a random question that had nothing to do with school but everything to do with making you smile.
he had this easygoing charm about him, the kind that made it impossible to stay mad or sad for long.
and, of course, heeseung noticed.
it was hard not to. you and jake had started walking to and from classes together, and every time heeseung passed by, you could feel his eyes on you.
he didn’t say anything at first, but there was something in the way he looked at you that made your skin prickle—like he was trying to figure something out, something that was just out of his reach.
one afternoon, you were sitting with jake outside, taking in the rare moment of sunshine between classes.
jake had just told a terrible joke, the kind that made you laugh even though it was ridiculous, and you couldn’t help but lean into him, playfully nudging his shoulder.
“really, jake? that’s the best you’ve got?” you teased, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye as your laughter faded.
“hey, i don’t see you coming up with anything better,” he shot back, grinning.
his smile was infectious, and you felt a warm comfort wash over you.
it was nice, being able to relax like this—something you hadn’t realized you needed until now.
but then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him.
heeseung stood a few feet away, watching you and jake with a look that was hard to read.
his jaw was clenched, his eyes narrowed slightly, and for a moment, you could’ve sworn you saw something close to frustration flash across his face.
you immediately straightened up, the laughter dying in your throat as you met his gaze.
heeseung didn’t move, didn’t say anything, but the tension between the three of you was thick.
jake noticed too, his smile fading slightly as he glanced between you and heeseung, clearly picking up on the strange energy.
“heeseung,” jake greeted casually, though his tone was a little less cheerful than before. “you need something?”
heeseung’s eyes flickered from jake to you, and for a brief second, you saw something in them—something sharp and raw.
he shook his head, his expression unreadable. “no,” he muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “just passing by.”
you bit the inside of your cheek, unsure of what to say.
there was an awkwardness in the air, a tension that hadn’t been there before, and you couldn’t help but feel like something unspoken was simmering beneath the surface.
but before you could figure out what it was, heeseung turned and walked away without another word, leaving you and jake in a strange, uncomfortable silence.
jake sighed, running a hand through his hair. “heeseung sure knows how to kill a vibe, huh?”
you tried to laugh, but it came out weak and forced. “yeah…”
but your mind was already elsewhere—on the look in heeseung’s eyes, the way his shoulders had tensed when he saw you and jake laughing together.
heeseung had never been one to back down from anything, but now it seemed like he was avoiding you.
and it didn’t make sense—one minute, he was pushing your buttons, flirting with you through the window, and the next, he was… distant. cold.
you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between you two, and you didn’t know how to fix it.
worse, you didn’t even know if you wanted to.
that night, as you sat at your desk pretending to study, you caught a flicker of movement outside your window.
your heart skipped a beat, and before you could stop yourself, you glanced over to see heeseung’s figure illuminated in the soft glow of his desk lamp.
your eyes locked for a moment.
then, heeseung did something that took you completely by surprise.
he reached down, grabbed something from the floor, and with a flick of his wrist, tossed a small rock at your window.
it hit with a soft tap, not loud enough to startle you, but enough to catch your attention.
you hesitated, unsure of what he wanted.
heeseung hadn’t thrown rocks at your window since you were kids, back when your rivalry was less serious and more playful— back when you could actually call lee heeseung one of your best friends.
now, the gesture felt strange—almost nostalgic in a way that made your chest tighten.
still, you couldn’t ignore him—you pushed the window up, letting in the cool evening air, and leaned out slightly, your voice low as you called over to him.
“what do you want?”
heeseung’s face was mostly in shadow, but you could see the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers gripped the edge of his window as if he was holding something back.
“i need to talk to you,” he said, his voice quieter than you expected. “now.”
you frowned, your heartbeat quickening. “about what?”
“just open your window,” he muttered, his voice strained. there was something different in his tone—something vulnerable, almost desperate.
it wasn’t like the confident, cocky heeseung you knew. and that was what made you hesitate.
but after a long pause, you sighed and opened the window a little wider, waiting for whatever he had to say.
you stood at your window, the cool night air brushing against your skin, as heeseung’s figure shifted in his room across from yours.
he was still gripping the windowsill, his posture stiff and tense.
the silence between you stretched, uncomfortable and heavy, until finally, you couldn’t take it anymore.
“what do you want, heeseung?” you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.
the wound from the cafeteria incident was still fresh, the memory of him siding with haerin burning in your chest.
for a second, heeseung didn’t respond, his lips pressed into a thin line, his jaw clenched tight as if he was struggling with what to say.
then, finally, he let out a long breath, and his shoulders slumped, just a little.
“why are you hanging out with jake?” he asked, his voice low and strained.
you blinked, caught off guard by the question. “what?”
heeseung’s hand ran through his hair in frustration.
“jake. you’ve been hanging out with him a lot lately. laughing with him, spending time with him…” his voice trailed off, and when his eyes met yours again, there was a flash of something vulnerable in them—something you hadn’t seen before. “why him?”
anger flared inside you—after everything that had happened, after he had humiliated you in front of everyone, this was what he cared about? who you were spending time with?
“why does it matter?” you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest. “what, you’re allowed to spend all your time with haerin, but i can’t hang out with jake?”
heeseung winced at the mention of haerin, but he didn’t back down.
“that’s not what this is about—“
“then what is it about?” you shot back, your voice rising with frustration. “because from where i’m standing, it seems like you’re just jealous.”
heeseung’s eyes widened slightly, like he hadn’t expected you to say it out loud. “jealous? of jake?”
“yeah,” you said, glaring at him. “you have no right to question who i spend time with. especially after what you did.”
his brows furrowed in confusion. “what are you talking about?”
“the cafeteria, heeseung!” you practically shouted, the hurt finally spilling over.
“you took haerin’s side, you embarrassed me in front of everyone, and you didn’t even bother to hear me out! and now, you’re mad because i’ve been hanging out with jake? after you made it pretty clear you don’t care about me at all?”
the words came out harsher than you intended, but once they were out, there was no taking them back.
the raw truth of how much heeseung had hurt you was now laid bare between the two of you, hanging in the air like a thick fog.
heeseung’s expression crumpled. for a moment, he looked utterly lost, his eyes wide with regret and something close to panic.
“i—” he opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out.
his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, his eyes darting away from yours. “i didn’t know. i didn’t realize…”
you let out a bitter laugh, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes.
“of course you didn’t heeseung, you’ve been too busy with haerin to notice.”
heeseung’s face twisted with frustration. “it’s not like that with her.”
“really? because it sure seems like it.” your voice was trembling now, the emotional weight of everything threatening to crush you.
“you’re always with her. you don’t even look at me anymore. and when you did have the chance to stand up for me, you didn’t. you humiliated me, heeseung. and you didn’t care.”
the words hit him like a slap. you could see it in the way his eyes widened, how his hands balled into fists at his sides.
heeseung took a step closer to the window, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. “you think i didn’t care?”
you stayed silent, your heart pounding in your chest.
heeseung’s jaw clenched, and then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he said, “i’ve been an idiot. i know that now.” his eyes were locked on yours, and for the first time, you could see the depth of his regret.
“you’re right. i didn’t stand up for you, and i should have. i hurt you, and i hate that i did. but it’s because…”
he hesitated, the words catching in his throat.
“it’s because i’ve been trying so hard to ignore how i feel about you,” he finally confessed, his voice thick with anxiety.
“i’ve spent so long thinking of you as my friend—then my rival and enemy, as someone i had to beat, that i didn’t realize… i didn’t want to admit that it was more than that.”
your breath caught in your throat.
“i’ve been feeling odd—weird around you for a long time,” heeseung continued, his voice cracking slightly.
“but i didn’t know how to deal with it. i pushed you away, acted like a jerk because i was scared. and then haerin showed up, and i thought if i focused on her, maybe i could forget about you—get rid of this feeling, but i couldn’t.”
tears welled up in your eyes, and you blinked them away, refusing to let them fall.
you wanted to be angry, wanted to hold on to that hurt and betrayal, but hearing heeseung’s voice crack with vulnerability made it harder.
his words, the way he looked at you, made you feel things you had been trying to deny for so long.
“but why didn’t you defend me?” you asked, your voice breaking.
heeseung’s expression crumpled. “i don’t know,” he whispered. “i was stupid. i thought if i stayed out of it, it would just go away. but it didn’t. and now i’ve ruined everything.”
you stared at him for a long moment, your heart aching with the weight of it all.
heeseung was standing there, tears welling in his own eyes, and for the first time in all the years you’d known him, he looked completely vulnerable.
“i don’t know if i can forgive you,” you whispered, your voice trembling. “not right now.”
heeseung nodded, his lips pressed tightly together as he swallowed hard.
“i understand,” he said softly. “but please… don’t shut me out.”
without another word, you shut your window, turning your back on him and collapsing onto your bed, emotions swirling inside you.
even though you had closed the window on him, part of you still wanted to reach out.
the next morning, you woke up feeling emotionally drained.
the conversation with heeseung played over and over in your mind like a broken record player, his voice echoing in your head, repeating those words.
“i’ve liked you for a long time.”—you had wanted to be angry, to stay angry, but now, all you felt was confusion.
did it even matter? he’d hurt you, after all.
that should’ve been enough to keep the walls you’d built between the two of you intact.
but something inside you had softened at seeing him so vulnerable, so broken.
you’d seen a side of him you weren’t sure anyone else had ever seen.
as you made your way to school, you told yourself that things would go back to normal.
you’d ignore heeseung like you always did, keep your distance, and focus on the things that mattered—your studies, your friendship with jake, anything but heeseung.
but the moment you walked into the classroom, all of that went out the window.
there, sitting on your desk, was a small carton of strawberry milk—your favorite.
you stopped in your tracks, blinking in confusion—the bright pink carton stood out against the plain wooden surface of your desk, and for a moment, you thought it had to be some kind of mistake.
but then you saw it— a folded note tucked underneath the carton.
with cautious fingers, you reached for the note and unfolded it. the handwriting was familiar, neat and precise.
“i’m sorry.”
that was it—no explanation, no signature, but you didn’t need one.
you knew exactly who it was from. your heart gave an involuntary flutter, and you quickly stuffed the note into your bag before anyone could see it.
your eyes darted to heeseung’s seat across the room.
he was already there, sitting with his head resting on his hand, staring at the window as if he hadn’t just left a peace offering on your desk.
he didn’t look at you, didn’t acknowledge you, but you could feel the tension radiating off him, like he was waiting for you to react.
you bit your lip, unsure of what to do—you wanted to stay mad at him, wanted to cling to the hurt and anger from yesterday, but this… this small gesture of apology tugged at something deep inside you.
heeseung wasn’t one to apologize easily. you knew that. he was proud, stubborn, and always had to win. but this? this was different. it wasn’t much, but it was something.
before you could figure out how to feel about it, the bell rang, and the classroom began to fill with students.
you slid into your seat, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest as the day began.
over the next few days, it became a pattern.
every morning, when you arrived at school, there was something waiting for you on your desk—a carton of strawberry milk, a small packet of your favorite snacks, even a neatly folded handkerchief after gym class when you’d been sweating.
each gift came with the same simple note—“i’m sorry.”
it was starting to drive you crazy.
heeseung didn’t say a word to you during class, didn’t try to talk to you between periods, but his quiet gestures of apology were impossible to ignore.
the other students had started to notice too, whispering to each other whenever they saw the latest offering on your desk.
“what’s going on with you and heeseung?” mina asked one day at lunch, her eyebrows raised in suspicion. “he’s been acting so… weird lately.”
you shrugged, trying to play it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “i don’t know. he’s just… apologizing, i guess.”
mina’s eyes widened. “apologizing? for what?”
you hesitated, unsure of how much to tell her—mina didn’t know about the confrontation in the cafeteria, didn’t know how much heeseung’s words had hurt you.
and honestly, you didn’t feel like reliving it. so instead, you just sighed. “it’s complicated.”
mina gave you a look, clearly not satisfied with your vague answer, but thankfully she didn’t push it.
instead, she glanced over at jake, who had been sitting quietly beside you, picking at his food.
“what do you think about all this?” she asked, nudging him playfully. “you and heeseung have always been rivals too, right?”
jake glanced up, his expression thoughtful “yeah, we’re rivals on the court,” he said, his voice casual. “but i don’t really care about that. if he’s apologizing, maybe he’s finally realized he messed up.”
you looked over at jake, feeling a wave of gratitude for his support.
he had been there for you when you needed someone, and now, more than ever, you appreciated his calm, steady presence.
he didn’t make a big deal out of the situation, didn’t push you to confront heeseung before you were ready. he just… understood.
jake caught your eye and smiled, and for a moment, you felt a sense of calm wash over you.
but of course, that peace didn’t last long.
later that afternoon, as you were walking through the hall with jake, laughing at one of his dumb jokes, you felt someone grab your wrist.
you stopped, your laughter dying on your lips as you turned to see heeseung standing there, his grip firm but not painful.
his eyes were intense, his jaw set in determination.
“come with me,” he muttered, his voice low and urgent.
you blinked, confused. “what? where—”
“just… come on.” heeseung didn’t give you a chance to argue. he tugged you along, pulling you toward the stairwell that led up to the rooftop.
jake called after you, his voice tinged with concern, but you were already too far down the hall to stop.
your heart pounded in your chest as heeseung led you up the stairs, the quiet intensity of the moment making your head spin.
when you finally reached the rooftop, he let go of your wrist and turned to face you, his expression conflicted, like he didn’t know whether to yell or beg for your forgiveness.
“what are you doing, heeseung?” you asked, your voice shaky with confusion and anger.
“i need to talk to you,” he said, his voice quiet but desperate. “about everything.”
the rooftop was quiet, other than the soft rustling of the wind and the distant chatter of the school below.
you stood there, facing heeseung, your heart pounding in your chest.
the tension between the two of you was thick, and the silence stretched on, filled with the weight of everything unsaid.
“what are we doing here?” you demanded, your voice sharper than you intended.
you were still reeling from the suddenness of it all—one moment you’d been laughing with jake, and the next, heeseung was dragging you up here like something urgent was at stake.
heeseung ran a hand through his hair, frustration clear on his face.
“i needed to get you away from him,” he muttered, avoiding your gaze.
“from jake?” you asked in bewilderment, your anger flaring up again. “what does jake have to do with this?”
heeseung finally looked at you, his eyes dark and intense. “everything. he’s—he’s not the one you should be with.”
you stared at him, stunned. “excuse me? what gives you the right to say that?”
“i know,” heeseung said quickly, holding up his hands in a gesture that almost seemed like surrender.
“i know i don’t have the right. but i can’t stand watching you with him any longer.”
your chest tightened as his words hung in the air—you didn’t know what to say.
part of you wanted to snap back, to tell him that he had no business being jealous after what he did.
but the other part of you— the part that had been waiting for him to say something—was finally starting to understand.
heeseung’s voice softened, and he took a small step closer to you. “even if we’re enemies, even if we’ve always been rivals, i would never side with jake. i would never choose someone over you.”
you blinked, your mind racing. his words made no sense. “then why didn’t you defend me in the cafeteria?” your voice cracked, and you hated how vulnerable you sounded, but the hurt was still there, sharp and raw.
heeseung flinched at the question, his jaw tightening. “i told you— i don’t know,” he sighed, his voice barely above a whisper.
“it was stupid. i didn’t realize how much i was hurting you. and when i saw you with jake…”
he trailed off, his eyes searching yours, desperate for you to understand what he was struggling to say.
“when you saw me with jake, what?” you pushed, your voice quieter now, the anger fading away into something softer.
heeseung swallowed hard, his gaze never leaving yours.
“when i saw you with him, i realized how much i messed up. i realized that i was losing you, and i didn’t know what to do.” he took another step closer, his eyes filled with regret.
“i’ve been trying to ignore it for so long—these feelings i have for you. but i can’t anymore.”
your breath hitched at his confession, and for a moment, you didn’t know how to respond.
heeseung, the person you’d spent your entire life competing with, the person who had always been rude and cocky, was standing in front of you, confessing that he liked you?
“feelings?” you echoed, your voice barely audible.
heeseung nodded, his expression raw and vulnerable in a way you’d never seen before.
“yeah. i’ve liked you for a long time, but i didn’t know how to handle it. so i pushed you away. i made everything about our rivalry because i didn’t know what else to do.”
his words hit you like a wave, crashing over you and leaving you breathless.
you didn’t know how to process it, didn’t know how to reconcile the heeseung you’d always known with the one standing in front of you now, baring his soul.
“i hurt you,” heeseung continued, his voice trembling slightly. “and i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. but i can’t stand the thought of you being with someone else. i don’t want to be your rival anymore. i don’t want to lose you.”
you stared at him, your heart pounding, your mind racing with thoughts.
this was everything you’d been trying to ignore, everything you’d pushed aside because you didn’t want to acknowledge the feelings that had been building up between you.
but now, standing here, with heeseung looking at you like he was afraid you were going to slip away, you couldn’t deny it any longer.
“i…” your voice faltered, your throat tight with emotion. “you’re an idiot.”
heeseung blinked, startled. “what?”
“you’re an idiot,” you repeated, shaking your head as a small, incredulous laugh escaped your lips.
“you spent all this time pushing me away when you could have just told me the truth earlier.”
heeseung opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, you closed the distance between you in one fast motion, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him down into a kiss.
for a second, heeseung froze, clearly shocked by your sudden move.
but then, he kissed you back, his hands coming up to gently cup your face.
the kiss was soft, slow at first, but it quickly deepened as all the tension between you melted away.
it was like everything you’d been holding back, all the unspoken words, all the bottled-up emotions, were finally being released in that moment.
heeseung’s lips were warm and gentle, and he kissed you like he’d been wanting to for a long time—slowly, sweetly, as if he didn’t want the moment to end.
your heart raced in your chest, your hands gripping the front of his shirt as you poured all of your frustration, confusion, and affection, into the kiss.
when you finally pulled away, breathless, you stared up at him, your cheeks flushed and your heart pounding.
heeseung’s eyes were wide with surprise, but there was a small, almost dazed smile tugging at his lips.
“i… i didn’t expect that,” he whispered, his voice shaky.
you smiled, feeling a strange sense of relief wash over you. “you’re such an idiot,” you said again, but this time, there was no bite to your words—just warmth.
heeseung let out a soft laugh, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “yeah,” he agreed, his voice thick with emotion. “i am.”
without thinking, you kissed him again, softer this time, more sure of yourself.
and as his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, you realized that this was exactly where you were supposed to be.
the next day at school, everything felt different. it was subtle at first—a kind of quiet shift in the air that made you hyper-aware of heeseung’s presence the moment you walked into the classroom.
you weren’t used to this—the ease, the softness that seemed to have settled between you overnight.
after years of rivalry, the shift from enemies to something more felt almost surreal.
but then you saw him—heeseung sitting at his desk, already glancing over at you the second you stepped through the door.
his usual smirk was gone, replaced by a small, almost shy smile, and it sent a warm flutter through your chest.
you smiled back, the tension from the day before melting away as he held your gaze for just a moment longer than usual.
it was like the rivalry had evaporated overnight, leaving something softer in its place. and yet, the familiarity of your banter remained.
you slid into your seat, feeling a little lighter than you had in weeks.
there was no strawberry milk waiting on your desk this time, no snacks or apology notes, but the absence didn’t bother you.
the fact that heeseung had taken the time to talk to you, to open up the way he had, was more than enough.
still, you couldn’t help but notice that people were whispering.
it wasn’t loud or obvious, but every so often, you’d catch someone glancing your way, their eyebrows raised in curiosity.
mina, of course, was the first to bring it up.
“what’s going on with you and heeseung?” she asked as soon as you sat down for lunch.
her eyes were gleaming with excitement, clearly having picked up on the shift in dynamics. “you two are acting so different!”
you shrugged, trying to play it off as casually as you could. “we talked. that’s all.”
mina narrowed her eyes. “you talked? come on, you can’t tell me something didn’t happen. you guys have been enemies for, like, forever, and suddenly you’re all… smiley. it’s weird.”
you felt your cheeks heat up, and you looked down at your tray, trying to hide the small grin tugging at the corners of your lips. “it’s complicated.”
before mina could press you further, someone else slid into the seat next to you.
you didn’t even need to look up to know who it was—jake, with his usual easygoing smile and relaxed posture, leaned back in his chair as if he owned the place.
“so, you and heeseung, huh?” jake asked, his tone teasing.
you groaned, burying your face in your hands. “not you too.”
jake chuckled, nudging you with his elbow. “hey, i’m just happy for you. i mean, after everything that happened… well, it’s nice to see you smile again.”
you peeked at him from between your fingers, grateful for his kindness.
jake had been there for you when you needed someone, and you’d grown closer over the past few weeks.
but now, things were different, and while you appreciated his friendship, you couldn’t deny the new fluttering feeling that came with thinking about heeseung.
still, you couldn’t resist teasing jake a little. “you’re not jealous, are you?” you asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.
jake laughed, shaking his head. “nah, i could never compete with heeseung. that guy’s got it bad for you.”
the teasing tone in his voice made your cheeks flush, and you were about to reply when someone cleared their throat behind you.
you didn’t have to turn around to know who it was—the shift in the air—the quiet intensity—was unmistakable.
heeseung stood there, his gaze flickering between you and jake, his jaw clenched slightly as he crossed his arms over his chest.
“what’s going on here?” he asked, his voice casual but with an underlying edge of jealousy.
jake grinned up at him, completely unfazed by the tension. “just talking, man. relax.”
heeseung didn’t move, his eyes narrowing just a fraction. “right. well, we’ve got plans after school, don’t we?” his tone was directed at you now, and you couldn’t help but notice the slight possessiveness in his voice.
you blinked, caught off guard. “plans?”
heeseung’s lips quirked up into a small smile, his eyes locking onto yours with a look of softness that made your heart race. “yeah. walking home together, remember?”
you tried not to smile too widely, but it was impossible to hide the way your heart fluttered at his words.
jake, ever the instigator, raised his eyebrows in mock surprise.
“oh, so it’s like that now?” he teased, leaning back in his chair. “guess i’ll have to find someone else to walk home with.”
heeseung shot him a look that was almost a glare, though there was a playful glint in his eyes. “yeah, you will.”
you rolled your eyes, though a small giggle escaped your lips. “heeseung, you’re being ridiculous.”
heeseung leaned down, resting one hand on the back of your chair as he looked down at you with a grin.
“maybe,” he admitted, his voice softer now, “but i don’t like sharing.”
the possessiveness in his tone sent a shiver down your spine, but instead of feeling annoyed, you found it… oddly endearing.
you nudged him lightly. “you’re such a child.”
heeseung chuckled, the sound low and warm, before he straightened up, glancing once more at jake. “you’ll be fine without her, right?”
jake waved him off, laughing. “i’ll survive, don’t worry.”
just as you were about to stand up and leave with heeseung, a voice interrupted the playful atmosphere, slicing through the lightheartedness like a cold breeze.
“heeseung.”
you looked up to see haerin standing a few feet away, her expression unreadable, but there was something in her eyes that made your stomach twist.
she glanced between you and heeseung, her lips pressed into a thin line before she focused on him. “can we talk? alone.”
heeseung’s body tensed beside you, but instead of acknowledging her request, he tightened his grip on the back of your chair, his attention still fixed on you.
“no, i’m good,” heeseung said flatly, his tone leaving no room for argument.
haerin blinked, clearly not expecting the rejection. “i just wanted to—”
“i’m with someone right now,” heeseung cut her off, his voice firm but calm. “and i’d appreciate it if you left us alone.”
the sting of his words was evident in haerin’s eyes, but she didn’t argue.
after a moment, she let out a quiet scoff and walked away, her shoulders tense as she disappeared into the crowd.
you stared at heeseung, surprised by how easily he had brushed her off.
heeseung, who had spent so much time with her recently, was now acting like she didn’t even exist.
“was that necessary?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.
heeseung shrugged, his expression softening as he looked at you. “what can i say? i’m done with all the games.”
you felt a warmth spread through your chest, and for a moment, you couldn’t help but smile.
the possessiveness, the way heeseung had stood by your side without hesitation—it all made you realize just how much had changed between you two.
as the day went on, the whispers and curious glances from your classmates only grew louder.
everyone seemed to be talking about you and heeseung, but you didn’t mind.
in fact, you kind of liked it. for once, the focus wasn’t on your rivalry—it was on something else, something sweeter.
at the end of the day, as promised, heeseung was waiting for you by the school gates.
you spotted him leaning casually against the fence, his hands stuffed in his pockets, but the moment he saw you, his face lit up with that soft smile that made your heart race.
“ready to go?” he asked, falling into step beside you as you started walking together.
you nodded, glancing up at him. “you know everyone’s talking about us, right?”
heeseung chuckled, shrugging. “let them talk.”
you rolled your eyes, but there was a lightness to your steps as you walked side by side.
it felt easy, natural—like this was how things were always supposed to be.
and for the first time in a long time, the space between you and heeseung wasn’t filled with tension or competition.
it was filled with something warmer, something that made your heart feel full.
as you walked, you noticed heeseung’s hand brush against yours, and before you could stop yourself, you reached out and intertwined your fingers with his.
heeseung glanced down at your hands, a look of surprise crossing his face before his smile widened, his grip tightening around yours.
neither of you said anything for a few minutes, just enjoying the silence and the feeling of walking together.
but eventually, you cleared your throat, glancing up at him with a teasing smile.
“so… are we, like, official now?”
heeseung slowed his pace, looking down at you with an amused grin. “official?”
“you know what i mean,” you said, nudging him lightly with your shoulder. “boyfriend and girlfriend.”
heeseung’s expression softened at your words, and he stopped walking, turning to face you fully.
he gently cupped your face with one hand, his thumb brushing lightly over your cheek.
“yeah,” he whispered, his voice barely above a murmur. “i want us to be official. if you do, too.”
your heart swelled at the tenderness in his eyes, and you felt a soft smile spread across your lips. “i do.”
heeseung’s eyes sparkled with something like relief and joy, and before you could say anything else, he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours in a soft, lingering kiss.
it was slow, gentle, and filled with all the unspoken promises of this new chapter you were beginning together.
when he pulled back, you were both smiling, a quiet warmth settling between you.
“good,” heeseung murmured, pressing his forehead against yours. “because i’m not letting you go.”
you laughed softly, your heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. “i’m not going anywhere.”
with that, the two of you continued walking home, hand in hand, your steps perfectly in sync.
and as the sun shimmered down lower in the sky, you knew that this was the start of something beautiful—something that had been building for far longer than either of you had realized.
heeseung was no longer just your rival—he was your boyfriend.
and honestly? it felt perfect.
© won4kiss 2024
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the sweetest thing
i’m just obsessed with dad!gojo :> genre: fluff, domestic life pairing: dad!gojo x mom!reader
"...3, 4, 5. Here are our little fingers! Om-nom-nom!" You hear your son giggled. Seeing his reaction, Satoru continued, "Mmm so delicious! Ah, those cheeks! I’m gonna eat them now" He poked the baby's cheeks and began to smooch them. In response, the little boy was covered with another wave of giggles.
Satoru heard you enter the bedroom and turned with a gentle smile. You climbed onto the large bed and lay down on your stomach, right next to them. You gently stroked the soft white hair on your son's head while Satoru continued to shower his plump belly with kisses and tickling. The kid saw you and pulled his chubby little hands in your direction. In his eyes, you saw a plea, help me mommy!
You giggled and touched Satoru's shoulder. He raised his head and looked at you with his rosy cheeks. His lips folded into a smile. He looked absolutely beautiful.
You couldn't resist and reached out to him for a kiss. He met you halfway. Your lips gently touched. The kiss expressed gratitude for the gift of happiness and love. Your hand lightly stroked his shoulder.
In the background your baby cooed, and you briefly separated. You pecked his lips once more and then turned your attention to your little boy. His long white eyelashes fluttered a couple of times, and he smiled toothlessly at you, exposing his dimples.
You poked his chubby cheek with your finger and cooed, "Aren't you the cutest baby in the whole world?" He caught your finger in his little palm and squealed. Satoru lightly tickled his exposed tummy, and the baby giggled
"Satoru, stop pestering him! My poor baby," you exclaimed.
He whined back, "But babe, I can't! Look at him! Our baby is so cute and so squishy I wanna eat him." To prove his words, Gojo bit the little boy's chubby thigh. Your baby squeaked.
Maybe it's biased, but you do think that your baby is the most precious baby you've ever seen.
You cooed while kissing his little hand. "You look so much like Daddy! I carried you in my tummy for 9 months, but even shape of your nails are exactly like his." You feigned resentment and pouted.
Satoru wrapped his right arm around you and continued to whine."But baby, is it so bad that he looks like me? Look." He moved his face closer to his son’s and said,
"Look, aren’t we the cutest thing you've ever seen in your life?" His eyebrows expressed sadness, but you could see mischief in his blue eyes.
He batted his white eyelashes a couple of times, and his pink lips twitched and stretched into a wide smile; his dimples became even more noticeable. To his left, the exact same smiling eyes, thin nose, and dimples looked at you.
Of course, it was the sweetest thing you've ever seen.
more dad!gojo HERE
hey guys! this is my first work here so please be nice) English isn’t my first language so there could be some grammar errors etc.
dividers by 2. @enchanthings
#jjk fluff#gojo fluff#dad!gojo#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jjk gojo#gojou satoru x reader
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Not your husband
Summary: You are going to marry the Satoru Gojo. A dream come true right? Well when he doesn't even show up to the meetings to arrange your marriage, it becomes clear that it's more a nightmare.
Or: Satoru Gojo doesn't even know how attached he will grow to his wife yet.
Pairing: Gojo x reader, 3040 words
Next part Masterlist
Sane Geto AU (I am an Angst writer, but not like Gege. Please excuse any errors in my writing)
The world of Jujutsu was never a world for you.
Born into a clan, which only saw your value in your technique. Born into a family, which only saw your mistakes. Born from a mother, who had the same problems but still resented you.
Born into a world full of curses but still being told you were the biggest of all.
"Don't daydream, you will make a bad impression. And you really can't afford that."
The woman in front of you isn't pleased. She isn't since she knew she wouldn't give life to boy.
It's hard as woman in a Jujutsu clan.
It's not about how your technique can help you, it's about how your technique could help your son at exorcising curses.
"Yes, mother."
She frowns as she looks at you. Displeased she fixes her posture a bit, signaling you to do the same. You obey.
"You can't afford to make any mistakes today. Just do as I told you. I can only hope you have learned anything."
As you nod you realize what all this means. The dress kimono you are wearing. The expensive tea that is ready to serve. The hairpin you have gotten from your mother, who did your hair today.
All of it becomes so real.
Your husband has been decided.
"You won't say anything, until you are being asked." The woman hissed. "And please keep a smile on your boring face, then it at least looks not so simple."
You never discovered your technique and what you could do with it. It wasn't easy. Knowing that everything you did would result in you being married of.
And as you sat here in this big room with your mother, you could only wonder.
Who would your husband be? Could it be someone who understood you?
Someone you could love?
As the door opened you saw your father who looked onto the ground as he spoke.
"They are here."
Your mother only nodded, as your father closed the door. Just a few minutes later the door was opened again.
And a beautiful woman stepped inside.
She smiled at your mother as she took a seat in front of her. But the smile was the same as the smile of your mother. And maybe the same of your own.
As she sat down on the opposite side, you served the tea. The best tea your clan could afford.
For a man that didn't seem to have come.
The woman gave an apologetic smile. "My sincere apologies, but my son... Well he is in a bit of a rebellious phase, which lead of him disappearing before this meeting."
Your mother's smile faded a bit. "Does he know of what importance this meeting is for our clans?"
The woman laughed. "Oh, he knows." She slightly eyed you before she spoke again. "He just doesn't care."
Silence flodded the room. It was like a cold hand slidded down your back as you realized.
"I hope the Gojo Clan will show more interest in our connection. We will be very disappointed if not." The smile of your mother was just as cold as the hand that seemed to choke you.
This was Mrs. Gojo. The mother of the strongest.
Gojo Satoru.
The one who seemingly stood above anyone. The one who jumped at every opportunity to mess with the higher ups.
Who will be your husband.
And he didn't even show up to meet you.
"Of course. He will learn." The woman sighed as she spared you a glance again. Then she smiled that smile again.
And you mirrored it.
"Your future husband isn't the easiest person." The woman sighed as she looked at you. "Even as a baby he knew what he wanted and how to get it."
Not knowing how to react you just nodded.
The woman laughed at that. "But no worries! Even though he is... Difficult, you will love him. He has that effect on people."
Your mouth dried up at the mention of love. How could this woman talk about love at the table your arranged marriage would be discussed? How could she talk about love when you didn't even have a saying in this arrangement? How, when you will marry the strongest?
Satoru Gojo?
"I really hope that he will learn." Your mother smiled while taking a sip from her tea. "He should know that his actions are what keep the Gojo Clan still important. He shouldn't throw that away."
The tension grew a lot, as Mrs. Gojo mirrored the smile and took a sip of the tea. "Well at least I brought him to our Clan. In the end that's the biggest thing a woman could achieve right?"
It was sick. We lived in modern times, but the Jujutsu Society was still so far behind, floating under the radar, with the excuse of making the world a better place.
"It's true." Your mother sighed as she lowered her cup. "The strongest really is the biggest achievement you could have ever accomplished. Being the parent of such a child... But I wonder..."
Your mother now didn't even try to hide her distain. "Why does his mother not have him under control?"
Klirrr
"Because." Mrs. Gojo's hand shook as it held the broken cup. The sharp shards cutting into it. "As a boy, he can have this freedom."
The black tea in your cup grew cold as long with the atmosphere in the room. Your mother stood up and left the room without a word. Her steps filled the silence in the room. And as she closed the door the woman in front of you sighed.
"Difficult woman, isn't she?" Mrs. Gojo let go of the cup shards while hissing. Her mask no longer in tact as she didn't smile anymore.
"Well who isn't?"
She looked at you surprised and then chuckled. "I guess you are right."
On the same day the arrangement was consolidated. It was official.
You will marry Satoru Gojo.
~~
"Suguru, how could this happen? To me?" Satoru whined as he complained to his best friend. "It all has to be a bad joke, right?"
"No, it sounds like a normal thing in jujutsu clans. I'm just confused why you didn't have any saying. You know, as the strongest." Suguru didn't look up from his book as his best friend groaned.
"That's what I'm saying! I don't give a damn about this whole clan thing."
As they were sitting in the park near their mission, they of course already finished not even breaking a sweat, the sun slowly set.
"It is a really bad system. How the clans only strive after power and never consider the lives of their toles." Suguru muttered as he turned the page.
"And now I have to marry a random girl I don't even know!" Satoru groaned again and buried his face in his hands.
"And she has to marry you." Suguru sighed.
Satoru looked at him slightly annoyed. "What do you want to say? Just say it."
"Well, I am sure, she is just as horrified as you at the sound of marriage. I'm just saying you could at least try to get to know her."
"I'm not going there." Stubbornly Satoru shook his head. "Never. I'm not giving them that satisfaction."
Suguru looked up at his friend and now he shook his head. "I pity your soon to be wife."
Offended, Satoru turned to his friend. "Hey! I'm your friend in need here!"
Suguru placed his bookmark gently in his book and then closed it. "Just promise you will show up to the wedding."
Satoru grinned. "Why? You scared of the higher-ups for me?"
"Not for you." He stood up as he looked down at his friend.
"For your wife. If an arranged marriage isn't going well, you know who gets blamed. And what you're doing is just cruel to her."
Gojo didn't say anything as he put on his blindfold.
~
"Do I look pretty?"
You didn't dare be louder than a whisper. "Mother?"
Her sigh gave you confirmation that she wasn't pleased. As she looked you up and down, her frown never disappeared. "As long you don't make that face, it's passable."
She stood up. "For a wedding you look... I just hope your husband will like you at your best."
"Soon to be husband." you corrected her quietly as you looked in the mirror.
"What?"
"Nothing."
She raised a brow but nodded slowly. Then she paced through the room impatiently. "That woman still hasn't given us any signs."
"Mrs. Gojo is probably seating the guests." a little part of you wanted to defend this woman. Your future mother in law.
"Or the groom makes problems again." your mother shook her head, like always when she spoke about the young Gojo.
After he didn't show up to a single meeting, she was sure that Mrs. Gojo didn't raise him right and that she as his mother should be blamed.
It was so pathetic. How you already felt his displeasure, his hatred towards you.
"Mother?"
"What is it?" she was annoyed.
"What was your wedding like?"
...
"Just like this one. It's tradition in our clan." her face was stone cold.
And you felt sympathy for her. She also had an arranged marriage. A wedding in which she didn't have any saying. A husband who she never chose.
"It's the bride's moment." The voice of Mrs. Gojo halled through the room.
Your mother smiled at you. You smiled back.
"Just don't mess it up."
~~
There were too many guests. Mostly people you didn't know. And all of them looked at you, while you made your way to the altar.
Under their stares you felt small.
But there was also this man. This guy with white hair, that stood at the end of your path. This boy that refused to even meet you before the wedding.
He gave you a glance and then continued to stubbornly look straight ahead.
As you stood before him, he didn't seem to be here with his thoughts.
And at this moment you knew he didn't want to marry you. No, you knew that before. But you knew that he would never open up or try to make this work.
And you didn't want that.
"I do."
No, you really didn't. And as he spatted the same words you knew that he was lying too.
~~
"Oh, you lucky girl!" The old woman, you didn't even know, said.
The after ceremony was not nice. All the guests wanted to talk to Gojo and some, not many pestered you. What really stung you was that they made more effort to talk to you than your own husband did.
"To marry such a handsome man." she looked at you and smiled knowingly.
"Of course it's an honor to marry Gojo Satoru as he is an important figure for the jujutsu society." Everything you said sounded like a broken record that lost any meaning.
She chuckled. "You can be honest with me. An heir will be on the way shortly, right?"
You hated this talk about an heir. Hated, hated, hated this people that keep telling you to hurry up and sleep with this man that didn't even look at you.
"We will see."
She laughed at that. And somehow you managed to excuse yourself from the conversation.
The rest of the evening was torture, but you somehow survived. Gojo didn't talk to you. He just disappeared at some point, leaving you alone in the cave of the lions.
His mother was right. He was a difficult person.
You hated that you had to ask around to be driven to his estate. Hated, that he didn't open the door, it was the personal chef that was going to leave. Hated, that you stood alone in this cold house.
He seemed to like to leave you alone. To just go.
You didn't want to sleep at this house. You didn't want to, but where should you go? Where could a place be, where you could hide?
Gojo had places. Not you.
You slept on the couch that evening. Your wedding dress was still on, as you didn't know what in this big house was to wear for you.
~~
"You're an asshole, you know that?" Satoru didn't like to hear that from his best friend, as he stood at his doorstep.
"I just need a place to sleep."
"I said to go to the wedding." Suguru felt like babysitting a toddler.
"And I did."
"Then why are you here? And not with your wife at your house?" Suguru slowly began to lose his patience.
"Can you just let me in, you ass?"
After shaking his head, Suguru opened his door wide enough to let Gojo in.
"Why are you here?" he wasn't going to make it easy for Satoru to forget he left you there.
"Had enough."
"You're such a child." Suguru shook his head. That's what ticked Gojo off.
"Stop it!" He threw his shoes on the floor.
"You can't judge me! Not when you don't know how it feels to have your future stripped from you just because you have been born in this family!"
Suguru kept silent this time.
~~
Your things were shiped to this mansion you should now live in. It wasn't a lot but your necessary clothes. Finally.
Finally you could take the dress off.
The clothing that reminded you that this was real. That your reason in life was already fulfilled and now you should just cease to exist.
No, that wasn't true, was it? You still had to bring an heir.
Will you ever get used to this new prison? You doubt it.
It was so big and cold. So many things but it didn't have this personal touch. It felt empty, unloved. Did Gojo even live here?
Well it seems like he wouldn't if you were here.
It was stupid. You didn't know him, just saw him yesterday for the first time in person. And still it was so clear he wouldn't make it easy for you.
You felt unloved.
"A letter, Mrs. Gojo."
The sudden voice blew you away from your thoughts. Another thing you wouldn't get used to. There were servants for the Clan leader. Like this girl. They were only needed in the kitchen, but it still felt wrong.
And something felt so wrong with being called this name.
"From who?"
The girl before you had a pitiful look. "Your mother." She cleared her throat. "She said, it's about your arrangement."
As you looked down at this paper, it felt like cursed energy was coming from it.
"Oh. Alright, thank you." Hesitating you took the letter.
The girl just nodded and made her way to the kitchen. The silence in this house was haunting.
Again you looked at the letter in your hands, and wished it was only paper. What should you do from now on? How would you spend your life?
Well obviously not with your husband as he wasn't even here.
And you would make sure that he didn't see the letters from your clan.
~~
"You're here." Satoru Gojo didn't seem pleased to see his wife in his house at this evening. Rather displeased, the way he frowned like a little child.
'Well.' you thought. 'That's to damn bad. He should have come to the arrangement hours.'
"Yeah. I have to be."
He didn't even look at you. Humiliation after humiliation. What would your child self say? Seeing that your own husband didn't even look or smile at you? The hopeless romantic would be crushed.
And now they definitely are.
"I see." His voice was barely audible. Oh, what a humiliation this must be for him! The strongest! Not even in control of his own marriage.
You really should pity him. Be understanding. Like the good wife your mother wanted you to be.
But you didn't have the strength to do that. No, you didn't sympathize with this man, that stood in front of you. The one who had the privilege of doing what he wanted till now just because he was blessed. Because he was born a boy.
And you were not.
"My things were brought this morning and Hina showed me around. I already-"
"Who is Hina?" Gojo sounded confused.
"The servant girl. The one who helps to cook?" you couldn't believe him. She even told you that she was working here since 3 years!
"Oh, yeah she. Continue."
You didn't like his tone, you didn't like his attitude, you didn't like that you didn't knew anything about him BECAUSE HE DIDN'T SHOW UP TO ANY-
"I already have my own room. I won't bother you." While trying to keep the bitterness down you started to whisper.
"What?"
As you looked up at him, your mind went blank. For the first time Satoru looked at you. With his big blue beautiful eyes, he looked at you. So mesmerizing that you almost forgot about your bitterness towards him.
Almost.
"I already have my own room. I won't bother you in any mean. We can also eat separately. In fact I would prefer that."
He snorted. "That's childish. Not even eating together."
And that broke the straw. The straw your patience was hanging on sooooo desperately.
"You." you poked his chest with force. "Can't tell me what's childish or not."
Your voice grew a bit. "You can't, not after not attending any meetings, actively trying to get away from me on our wedding day, leaving me alone for our clan people, leaving me alone for the night way to a new house I have to call home now!"
He kept silent. Like all the times you saw him.
"SO EXCUSE ME." You made your way to your room, shouting to make sure he knew what you said.
"IF I THINK MY HUSBAND DOESN'T WANT TO SEE ME AT ALL! AND IF I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MYSELF SUFFER THROUGH IT!"
You slammed the door with force.
You don't think your husband will ever even like you. Or if Gojo would ever even be your husband.
#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jjk satoru#gojo angst#arranged marriage#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#jjk
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Gwayne Hightower x Targaryen reader where she is Rhaenyra’s sister and daughter of Viserys and Aemma, she is pregnant when they visit King’s Landing and she has the baby so Alicent calls her as she does with Rhaenyra and Gwayne gets furious about it even more when Alicent insinuates that their son is not Targaryen so from then on he is team black.
Devotion
Gwayne Hightower X female reader Targaryen
A/N: I hope its okay that I use an original female character and i don't if i understand your request right but yeah here it is I hope you enjoy. Happy reading mwa!
Disclaimer: grammatical/typographical errors ahead, englisn is not my first language.
Warning: mention of blood, child birth, cursing, and no use of Y/N. Please tell me if I miss anything.
//
The married couple returned in Kings Landing from Oldtown for the King's funeral, the second born princess Targaryen along side her husband and her growing belly arrived at King's Landing, the princess was expecting to see her elder sister Rhaenyra only to hear that she had already departed with her family to Dragonstone.
"Your sister s-she is rather not very pleased to be here" the Queen explained of her sister's departure with her new husband Daemon.
"How is your pregnancy daughter?" Alicent asked, changing the topic.
The princess rub her belly as she smiled "It is great though a bit struggle happens"
Gwayne her husband held her hand that was caressing her stomach, as he joined their conversation "My wife pregnancy is very delicate, it is her first pregnancy and the maesters said her body needs a lot of rest"
Otto nodded in acknowledgement "I am happy for the both of you, you seem to grow fond of each other"
The couple smiled, they did indeed. "We truly did and Daeron in Oldtown is one of our witnesses" Gwayne chuckles, the poor boy was tired seeing the two couple always on each other like what a newlywed partners would do.
Alicent sighs at the mention of her youngest son "and how is he? Daeron?"
"He is doing good, a boy full of wit, a good sword fighter" the princess explained ".....he is very kind your grace, a soft hearted child, his heart has a space for animals" she added, her youngest half brother was a great boy, far away from them. He is a chivalrous boy.
"I should talk to the both of you outside, may I?" Alicent turned to them, the couple simply nodded as all of them walked outside the chamber.
"I wish for your wife to give birth here in Red Keep" Alicent said, the princess frowned but before she could give reaction her husband spoke first.
"I wish my child to be born in Oldtown, why you must decision for that?"
Alicent looks resigned to her brother's fire backs.
"It is an order from your Queen" was all the Queen say before she entered the room, shutting the door before them.
Gwayne's clenched fist softened as she caress it. "We shall give it to them for now Gwayne, there's nothing we could lose for giving them a small favor"
Gwayne rolled his eyes "Oh please that is my sister, and I am a Hightower I know how one thinks"
Gwayne was never unknown to the small resentment his sister Queen had for his wife, even before Alicent was a young lady she had always envied the younger princess, the princess was smarter, kind, beautiful, she was like a glowing light walking through the halls of the Keep, everyone pleased her, and when she was on the right age for marriage she was married to him, the heir to Oldtown and a knight. She had the life his sister was deprived of.
And he knew Alicent has some plans behind this little show of hers.
And he was not wrong.
His wife give her the favor, she gave birth between the walls of Red Keep, her screams and groaned echoed all over the Keep, they can hear her dragon Silverwing roaring for her rider.
"Lord Gwayne you shall not enter, you should be somewhere else or perhaps on the training grou-" the servants shuts when his collar was tigtly gripped.
His wife birth was no jest, the Maesters had informed them before her birth that her body was weak, and she might be carrying a boy for having such a hard labor.
"Don't you understand my wife's condition? She needs me, let me in" Gwayne scowled but his request was denied as the servants pulled him away from the room.
One of the Maesters came out, his face full of worry "My Lord, the princess"
"How is my wife?"
"The princess...she is trying her best my Lord but I must be honest with you, I have both a good and bad message to deliver" the Maester exhales before he continued. "The good one is that the princess is able to push half of the babe's body"
Gwayne wanted to smile, he will finally have an heir and child that he had hope would taken the look after his beautiful wife but knowing that the news has a bad new to come, he can't help but worry for his princess.
"And what is the other one?"
"The babe was rather in an unfortunate position, in birth the head of the babe should be the first thing to come out but in her condition it is unfortunately the other way around"
"You mean my baby's head is still stuck inside of her?"
The Maester nodded "and it is quite dangerous my Lord, we might lose the babe"
Gwayne nodded but frustration covered his face, what would happen to his wife and child?
"Unless my Lord you wish to cut open the princess to save-" the Maester wasn't able to finish his words as he stumble on the ground from Gwayne's singld punch.
"You will do no such thing, what you will do is save my wife from that horrible state whatever it takes, my wife shall come out of that room fine and alive, you hear me?" He command, his knuckled has some blood stained from punching the man.
The Maester nodded and walked back inside the room, Gwayne sat on the cold floor, they will have to save his wife one way or another.
"Your father wish to see you Ser Gwayne" one of the guard approached him and spoke.
"I do not wish to leave my wif-"
"The Lord Hand wants me to tell you it is urgent" the guard continued, Gwayne groaned out of frustration, slowly standing up and walked to his father's office.
On the other hand the princess was lie down on the bed, blood was everywhere.
"Your grace, another push please you are doing well" one of the midwives encourage. Another scream filled the room, stained tears on her cheeks.
The nursemaid and midwives encourage her more, as she continued pushing out the babe inside her, her situation was hard to watch, as they looked at her filled with concern for the princess, she looked tired and breathless. Some of her handmaidens that was present was tearing seeing their princess crying out from pain.
Another scream filled the room once again.
"It is a boy!" The Maester finally announced. Holding a baby boy on its hands, the room filled with cheer as they ran to the princess, immediately handing her help, some wash their sweat, some clean her up.
She smiled as she saw her son being washed and wrapped, she was still shaking but she insisted to hold her child. A boy...an heir for her husband.
The cheering stop as they all looked at the door opening revealing a concerned servant "M-my princess...the Queen s-she uh"
"What of the Queen? Speak clearly"
"She said that she wish to see her grandchild, and you aswell, she wish for you to deliver her grandchild to her" the servants finished, murmurs, shock gaps and whispers filled the room, looking concerned for the princess.
The princess sigh, so this why she wants her to stay here? To have something to play with?
She stood up, legs shaking, her whole was is shaking rather, the nursemaids guide her to carry her newborn son.
"Princess....you're body is still trembling, you shall not walked around the castle or els-"
"Who are we to deprive the Queen a sight of her grandchild" she smiled weakly, as she embrace her son and start walking through the Halls, her whole full of sweat and blood still dripping on her legs.
The news arrived Gwayne's ear, one of his men bargen inside his father's office sending the news of his wife's succesful delivery, Gwayne stood up and left the room fast, his knight walk fast closely to him.
"But my Lord the princess has already left her delivery room, the servants said she immediately left as soon as she gave birth" his man informed.
Gwayne stopped his footsteps.
"They said her Grace had asked for your wife's immediate presence after her birth"
That mad woman. Gwayne was so done of his sister, she is nothing but a horrible Queen, he let her and their father do whatever they have wanted in this castle, corrupting the King, ruining the life of his wife's older sister but he would not let him take advantage of his wife's kind nature.
Gwayne ran as soon as he saw her walking through the halls, his mouth opened but no words came out as he saw her state. Trembling, body covered of sweats and bloodstains, her dress was not very appropriate to see, and his fist clenched as he saw the path of blood dropping from her legs as she walk. Was this is the sigh his Queen sister wish to see?
She wasn't suppose to even raise a finger after her horrifying birth but now she is walking around carrying their babe. He ran to them and cautiously held her back.
"My wife, where are you going?" He tried to sound calm to not show any hint of frustration and anger on his voice.
"Oh ask your dear sister, my love s-she wish to see our child" her voice was hoarse it sounded to frail almost like a whisper from all the screaming she made.
His jaw clenched, he looked at his men and ordered him to bring a nursemaid as soon as the nurse came he told her to carry their child inside the room.
"Gwayne but the Queen-"
"I would have the talk with her, you shall not worry she will be able to see our child when the right time has come, and that right time is when you finally have a rest and sleep" his voice was soft but full of authority, he slowly lower himself to carry her in bridal style.
His eyes cannot lie and his wife can see it, she see right through him. The anger she can almost see what she is plotting inside his head.
The princess lean on his chest. "Do not let anger took over you Gwayne, talk to her nicely"
Oh he would definitely do have a nice talk with his cunt sister.
"Please Gwayne, I would not wish you to be in trouble"
"She took advantage of you darling, how do you wish me to react when I see you trembling as blood drip from your legs walking through this long fucking halls of castle nothing but fragile? Do you wish for me to celebrate?" Gwayne sarcastically spoke, he hated her wife for being a too much proper but he also loved her the same way.
"I kinda wish you do, I gave you a boy. An heir" she smiled, her eyes sparkles as she look over the maid who was carrying their child, Gwayne smiled looking over the babe.
"I am happy more than happy actually, but I would not want to put you in that situation again"
"It is normal state they said"
"Still I would not want to risk you again, I am happy with you no matter with heir or none but now I have a young version of you, I would have more very reason to go home and wake up everyday"
She was his life, she made him whole, losing her would be a big tragedy to him, the day he vowed to her that he will love her with all he can offer, he did not just love her, he stayed and place his faithfulness to her.
As he slowly placed his wife om their chamber, he send her handmaidens and Maester to look after her, clean her and check if she need something to be mend.
He barged inside the council room knowing they will be their, the members looked at him, Otto spoke first breaking the silence.
"My son, as far as I remember you do not have a seat in this room to attend to"
Gwayne scoffs, as he eyed for his sister. "Is this your plan? Why you wanted my wife to give birth here? To make her suffer?"
"It is the King's dying wish"
"Oh I believe is it? Just like how his dying wish is to fucking crown Aegon as his heir, despite your son being brainless smug"
"To say that such thing to the prince is treason, what is it that makes you so angry Gwayne?" Otto tap his son shoulder but he immediately pull back.
"Your Queen, made my wife walk through the halls right after she gave birth to our child, have I not told you that her pregnancy is risky? Yet you made her walk instead of giving her the time to regain her energy"
Alicent snapped a look at him, the two children of Otto Hightower faced each other. "I wish to not harm her, I simply wish to see her and my grandchil-"
"Is that really it? Or perhaps you are so envious of seeing my wife live the life you wished you had?"
A deafening silence filled them, the members each switch looks between the Queen and Gwayne Hightower.
"You shall not touch my wife anymore and so is our child, we will leave here as soon as she recover" Gwayne discussed. Otto approached his son.
"What about your army? we need them incase Rhaenyra declares war after we declare Aegon as King" Otto explained.
Gwayne chuckles, the audacity of his father to think that he will give him his army.
He did not answer them instead walked out the room, he will make sure what they did to the princess will be delivered to the future Queen Rhaenyra.
//
She arrived at the chamber, she was welcomed by the sight of his beautiful wife holding their child, he slowly walked to them sitting on the edge of bed beside his wife.
"We will leave here tomorrow, I can and will not go another days with those cunts around you and our son" Gwayne spoke, caressing his wife's silver white hair, he sighed as he continued to reveal another thing.
"They plan to make Aegon King"
The princess turned her face to him, her face was confused hoping she heard him wrong.
"They know Rhaenyra is the heir, the future Queen of the realm our father made it known before he died, he declared her as his heir" she explained, she and Gwayne were both there as she was declared the rightful heir to the throne.
"I know but those two said it was the dying King's wish, I do not believe."
"We shall go to Dragonstone and send words to Rhaenyra..." She trailed, something in her was nervous what if Gwayne would not side with her?
"Yes we must, as soon as possible my love and make it clear to your sister that we bend our knee for her" Gwayne leaned his forehead to hers, his gaze moves to their son.
The boy had her eyes, lilac gaze, he had his nose and lips.
This is all what Gwayne had asked and wished when he married his wife, a whole family but with the upcoming war he knows they will have to be extra careful.
He will bent the knee for Rhaenyra but his wife and son's safety would remain a top of his list.
#hotd fanfic#house of the dragon#daemon targeryan#gwayne hightower x reader#gwayne higtower x you#gwayne hightower fanfic#gwayne hightower
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