#And u only get better with practice
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finally updated my fic, “on little cat feet”, after five million years of trying to write, and I figured I’d link it here
if anyone would like a story about Desmond miles getting turned into a cat and ending up in Seattle during the events of infamous:second son, check it out here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40643007/chapters/101831541
#It Will eventually end up as DesDel#So if ur not into that#Here’s your heads up#Hopefully the link works#I’m not good with technology#It won’t be the best written fic ever#But it’s one of my first#And u only get better with practice#Desmond miles#delsin rowe#infamous second son#assassin's creed
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anyways . silly thing
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#animatic#i want it done.get out of here u stupid dog#ITS CHEESY.IM SORRY ! IMSORRY <embarrassed .truly#but i think. a gf revival would not be complete w/o me trying my hand at a shitty animatic. this 1 is for me dwg#as annoying as the whole process was it was kind of fun ngl. . like ive never been good at keeping a consistent style or chara model#and this was rly good practice for that .. i think looking at it now its like. no its crazxy its insane bc i dont ever want to do it again#at least in the immediate future but watching it back im like ok well.icouldve at least done that better. or tried to loosen up my vp and#made it feel less flat . <thats the devil talking & trying to get u back in on it.thats what i mean liike its fun but its evil and tiring#also im so creatively burnt out ik i couldve done so many fun ciphord gore things but i ug a 'shrug' pff 'shrug' i ?. yk#if only i didnt have the disposition to want to finish everything in one sitting. i think thats why i like static illustration#more bc u get more like. topical variety in a shorter amt of time u feel. anyways i remember hearing this song 4 the first time and in#my need to apply everything ever to my hyperfix i was like omg crop circles soo stanford lol. omg a deal he made when he was young.. & no#it doesnt feel so great does it .. (ciphordd)..then the eyes & fate i was alr convinced but when it got 2 the stanley part ab the taking hi#fathers brothers name i was like ok well fuck filbrick 1 . but rewritten for canon events anyways HELLO???????? AND U WILL DIE THE SAMEE?#much cooler version is still stuck in my head but i hope that u can get the same rudimentary vision i have
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gouache painting practice :3
#painted over an old ink doodle that looked kind eh#also forgot to add eyelashes but eh this was mostly to get used to gouache a little mroe and i almost got the hang of it#i think the problem is that its not greattttt for layering. like u can and i do lol but idk#also its cheap gouache so that might also be why lol#anyways i mainly just need a better more opaque white and ill probably be better at painting lol cause i only have a small tube of white so#dont use as much paint as ai porbably should#anyways i have a few more practice piece that i might finish up digitally eventuall ymaybe lol#art#doodle#gouache#painting#gouache practice
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let's cut some onions
bonus:
#my art lol#acme iku#iku acme#maidloid#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#utau#utauloid#utau fanart#utauloid fanart#onions#chromatic aberration#green#purple#off white#lmao i wasnt gonna do the bonus but the idea popped into my head and i thought it was funny. props to those who get the ref#i got really lazy after the lineart nerfed my wrist 😫 so thats why the shading and overall rendering kinda sucks sorry#i hate drawing bgs 😭😭😭 but ik i need to practice them more UGHHH. damn bitch you live like this?#anyways red onions are better than white onions sorry its true. we only eat red onions here if u dont like gtfo (joking)#UGHHHH wanting actual food is getting to me (<- mouth is literally banded shut) i want to EATT liquid diet will be death of me
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God, this is fucking crazy
So i only have 3 more classes to take, but it'll cost the same to take 3 classes as 4 classes. So I've been thinking about taking a 4th class just for the hell of it. Something fun and/or easy.
Out of curiosity, I looked up orchestras. I was in it in my first year, but I haven't consistently played since 2016. But I still dream about being in an orchestra again. I *miss it*. So I was like. Well, what if *that* was my 4th class next semester? What If?
I looked it up. This week is the last week they're doing auditions for it. There was only one more spot free after today. And that's *tomorrow evening*.
I haven't really played my violin much in YEARS. I'm so out of practice. But apparently they don't reject anyone outright. Auditions are just for placement. So worst case scenario, I get placed in an orchestra at a lower skill level than I was at my prime. It'd still be an orchestra.
It's crazy short notice, but I don't think I'd forgive myself if I passed it up. Bc I have just one more semester before I graduate. One last opportunity to be in a school orchestra. And if I didn't do this, I'd be left with that What If forever.
So. Crazy short notice, but I have a violin audition tomorrow!!! Hahahaha
#speculation nation#im literally shaking with nerves rn but i want this so so so badly#i remember. how to play. my arms are just so much stiffer than they used to be. and my nails. man im gonna have to trim my fucking nails#at least my left hand. kinda sucks bc i like the polish i have on rn but u cant have any long nail at all for violin.#i need to play two scales of my choosing. ascending and descending in three octaves.#recommended for violin is A C or E-flat major. of course i know A and C but i'd have to look up E-flat. never did much with flats in school#then again i have that One Two Three and a Half rhythm Down. thats how id often warm myself up.#start with the base G string and just do a scale up and down (one octave). go up to the next note. do it again.#again and again until i started running out of room on the E string. & if i was Real motivated maybe id start shifting to continue.#so all id need to do is find the E flat and id be good. it all follows the same pattern.#the harder challenge will be the solo or etude. 2-3 minutes in length. only *one day* to prepare.#i have NO IDEA what id even play. i'll look in my old sheet music to see if theres anything that might work#simple enough for me to relearn on such short notice. and interesting enough to be played solo#(since i was always in orchestras it's not always the best for solo playing. tho i was also first violin section a lot#which is Basically the same as playing solo lmaooo)#if i cant find anything i do have a few sheet music books i could look in. id hate to play smth too simple#but better simple and Right than trying to do something above my current skill level.#which IRKS ME bc once upon a time i was the 4th best violinist in my high school. out of nearly 2k students.#but thats what happens when u go years without consistent practice :p ur arm gets Stiff.#im. still nervous but also thinking about the music is making me EXCITED.#it's going to be a wild time prepping for this thing but itll be over in like 5 mins and i dont even have to worry about Passing#so long as i *do it* i should get into something. i just need to push myself. do it. get out there. *play your violin*#i already cried in a public bathroom for 10 mins today and im feeling emotional Again.#not quite crying emotional tho thankfully. just. i feel like i need to climb onto a rooftop and SCREAM!!!! but like in a good way.#so so so nervous but itll be so so so worth it. i could be in an orchestra again. finally. finally finally finally.#and i STILL NEED TO FINISH THIS ASSIGNMENT.....!!!! hfkahfks today has been. a DAY.#just. keeps going through my head. i could be in an orchestra again. i could be in an orchestra again. at least one more time.
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Worst thing about learning a new language of my own violation though is that its made me a fucking nerd. I just found my friend's flashcards on quizlet and got excited. I get excited to hear some french words in everyday conversation. When my friends are reading a book i have to resist the urge to go WHAT LANGUAGE IS THAT. Im just super excited to consume french and spanish language and phrases and im a fucking nerd about it now
#like im not as into spanish as i am french#i like the sounds better but i set out here to learn french goddamit!!!!#but it would be SUPER awesome to speak both fr fe#fr#hell even just 1#like in 4 years. again. km not going to be worse#im listening and learing french constantly atm#spanish its only been a few days but im getting on a lot better than i thought#i keep getting frustrated bevause i dont always understand it and its digficult to manage my time#plus ive heard that learning two langauages can confuse u#but ive not had too much issue atm and it can actually be benifitial to learn both#hell i dont think om even doing this for qsmp anymore i dont even watch qsmp!!!!!#but also if i do need to dropone language or maybe even both if rhings get really crazy#it wont be the end of the world because i can always pick it back up and it wi never be a waste u know#luke i havent learnt spanish for 4 or 5 years!!! and i STILL can read a bit and i got put forwards on duolingo even FURTHER than i currently#am in french!!!!!!#and ive been learning french for 4 months! (although i learnt spanish at school since like. year 4 and i didnt take it in later years and my#spanish teacher hated me bc i was always drawing and she was mean#ik spanishis easier to learn than french#did u k ow that if u practice for 3 hours a day u can learn spanish in 6 months!?#i dont have 3 hours a day#i think today ive spent about 1#1.5 hours practicing and 1.5 hours engaging with french and spanish media combined#but thats only half of that each idk#i just dont think im going to be fluent for aggggeeeesssssss like YEARS. maybe in like. 4 or 5 years would be cool#but also its just fun? and im having fun and oh my god this makes me a nerd doesnt it#okay okay ramble over im just proud of myself :]
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if anyone wanna commission me 😈😈😏😏 hmu i could use a few bucks rn
#im honestly willing to underprice myself lol id say the level of stuff i normally post on here will be like 15-20#i can do more complex shaded stuff for around 30 i can dig up some old examples#yes i will also also do stuff for adults only if u get what i mean even though i dont normally post that stuff (not suee if i can actually#say the word for it without tumblr hiding my post from everyone)#im much better at furries but i can draw humans as well....just dont expect it to be as good i dont have nearly as much practice lol#commission#furry commissions#meowing
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people interacting w wgoin in my notes... this would be a rly bad time to say all my writing will probably be on hiatus for the indefinite future huh
#not like it makes a practical difference considering i only upload twice a year at best#but im realising how much my writing is shame motivated and its just not sustainable or healthy#it saddens me that these stories i invested So much time and effort into will probably never get finished#i wanna hold out hope that they will but#i dont want anyones expectations to be too high#bc knowing myself they probably wont#i started wgoin thinking that this would be the story i commit to finishing and not just abandon as soon as i get bored#but that was before i had really realised how my brain works#and for a while writing these chapters have felt very forced#gbgb had a much better run till it crashed and i was just unable to pick it back up#tbh that one could potentially still be saved bc of how open ended it is if i get any inspo for it back whatsoever#bc it had no strict plan i was entirely making it up as i go#and im realising thats how i write best. i tried to plan wgoin so id commit to finishing it but im realising that has the opposite effect#if i plan anything too thoroughly writing it becomes like gnawing on lead#cause i got all the dopamine out of the idea already#i write best when i have nothing but a vague idea or a vibe#gbgb crashed bc i ran out of vibes and ideas but if i find any again who knows#there is the possibility where i scrap the plan i had for wgoins entire plot and make the rest up as i go#which i might try purely bc i love the story sm#and i think i enjoyed writing it most back in the first three parts where i Was making it up as i went#which is why im saying indefinite hiatus instead of discontinued#bc there is hope for them. just not. much#so if u stick around maybe follow me on ao3 if u dont wanna see all my posts n just my stories#maybe in 3 years time youll see another wgoin notif or sumn#sorry to the small but dedicated handful of readers who really loved these fics#i wanted to write more for you guys bc ik its hard to find this kinda fic anywhere else; its why i started writing it#but i am but one unmedicated autist w severe adhd. we r working on the unmedicated part tho#ive learned so much abt how my brain functions now n how to make the most of it tho#i told myself id finish any new writing before i post it. so know anything new Will be complete :3#mischiefing time
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nothing like waking up and immediately having horrible migraine aura followed by a horrible fckn migraine to just completely derail all the plans you had 😖
#last week was very very VERY stressful & busy and a lot of my day to day shit fell to the wayside#and yesterday was really good in terms of getting back to normal! I was like hell yeah crushin it!#and then I started getting the tell tale pre migraine headache last night and I was like I'll take meds to combat this now! try and prevent!#lot of good that did me! haven't had the aura shit in a while fckn doozy of a day had to scrap everything and crawl back into bed#feel slightly better? vision still isn't uhhhh... like I wouldn't drive rn lol but at least it's a little better#head is still fucked but it'll probably be that was until tomorrow#god I hate this I know it's from the massive weather change coming gonna rain for a week straight 😞#and because I'm so fckn old now AND have nerve damage my whole body is just FUCKED from going back to cold ass weather#I did find out today my brother and I experience different migraine auras though which was interesting#still can't wear my glasses tho so lmao def can't drive or do practically anything at all 🙃#just now able to look at my phone (only apps in dark mode fck u tumblr for being one of the only apps that has dark mode)#can't even brainstorm on fic which is killing me I can only sit like a potato and just exist#brain cannot imagine things only pound pound pound#erin explains it all
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i’m just saying a god that counts every one of the stars and knows them each by name is autistic as fuck
#showing back up on main for exactly 1 minute just to make this post#where's that post like#a god who made all those beetles is not neurotypical#couldnta said it better myself#only the least neurotypical god knows what's going on in my head rn but here y'all have a thing before i vanish back into the void#sorry for playing schrödinger's blogger lately#i am off tumblr in favour of spending my spoons on eating for the moment i'll be back once i get off the edge of starvation friends#pain-induced loss of appetite requires mollycoddling u know how it is#all good just practicing self care#in the immortal words of jack slater. I'll be back#in the meantime sending love#inbox always open to animal pictures & tma anything#(i miss answering y'all's updates on tma listening journeys. Love reading them thank u always for sharing <3)#linden's originals#(fr i promise i'm all good. battery savings mode is for once being proactive. i'm plugging myself in by unplugging if u will#i love y'all & miss spending my spoons here but social media is a little rough on the hyperempathy so it does take the spoons#i'll be back once i don't need those to eat. here's to a neurodivergent god who gave me the worst nervous system ever)
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To get good at telling stories... writing stories... one must... practice by writing stories ;-;
#rant#i tell u what i think id have functioned well in a wrbnovel publishing format. but i dont think#any good sites for that exist in english as of yet? (i think theres one but its contract is Yikes i heard)#but just like. the idea of publishing chapter ever 1-2 weeks until youre done. maybe 20 chapters maube 2000. maybr you never finish.#most of the chapters free and maybe idk you make some advertizing money on ads viewed on your chapter page. or make the last couple extras#paid only idk. but the big thing? the point im getting to - sorry i got lost in the sauce -#my point is: you probably DO write shit at first. or write fine with some SHIT ARCS or rushed chapters to hit ur weekly updates#and 5 years from then youll look back and wanna overhaul some of those fucking stories (weve seen many a jjwxc writer revise later).#but wow will you have practiced writing a LOT.#youll have 100k 500k 1 million 5 million words worth of writing under your belt in a few years#and youll probably be a hell of a lot better at knowing how to make more chaptwrs on average interezsting and Building Consistently to your#main plot and arcs. you'll probably get much bettwr at raw scheduling of wriitng and pre-planning that works for you and structure mapping#youll have a much better idea of your personal strengths whrn you need to lean on them for a rough month when your story's turned#into a mess. youll value your own writing more (i hope) cause LOOK how much you fucking accomplished.#like. npss? dmbjs author? idk about others but i can definitely see the improvement in wriitng skill#between dmbj book 1 and the recent heihua book and mountain village book#(in terms of style in word choice. and goals for the story set out to be told)#i look at priest and newer novels by priest are as impressive as any literary novel ive ever analysed#(and older ones while i also love i do see their slightly rougher word choice and how some were executed a bit#more up and down/not as tightly)#i just. agh. i am :c feeling that ill probably write 200k words this year#and none of it will be as good as i want. but i NEED to write these first 200k#because the only way i get better. get to the way i want to write. is to make the progress of improvement with this first 200k.#ToT fun fact i wrote 170k words this year. WOW. and maybe 400k words of fanfic in the 4 years prior (so 100k words on average)#i know i am imptoving. i just gotta keep at it.#also? annoying i cant focus my attention lmao. 160k words is mkre than enough to finish a 1st draft novel#but me? i split those among like 20 projects this year. so the novel most written so far is still only at 40k#and im probably going to need 60k more words to finish it
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Me drawing Luke skywalker for the first time to the most recent time a trilogy:
I posted this to my art instagram and I'm posting here because it's important to remember PRACTICE WORKS. take it at your own pace though like you don't gotta be like me where I draw like 50 things in the span of a week 😅 but progress happens and studying reference helps and idk just keep on truckin to all the artists out there I'm rooting for you let's all improve!!!
#art improvement#art practice#luke skywalker#I WILL GET BETTER AT DRAWING YOUR FACE BABY U DESERVE IT#i only started drawing him 3 days ago#im workin on it#lol
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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photorealistic intensely sexy calendiles fanart when
#please my people are starving#musings#i gotta practice drawing and get better for literally only this reason.#be the change u wanna see in the world
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nothing like a typing test to lift the spirits
#i might still not have the fucking essay half done but i just scored 118wpm qwerty on monkeytype 30 second test with 96%acc#^ btw typing tests r mostly bullshit and theyre not an accurate measure of how fast u type in practice#they often include only common/basic words and lack both punctuation and coherant word patterns#additionally it only measures how quickly you can replicate written word#when i know that personally a lot of the drag on my typing speed is composing sentences in my head or processing audio#like using stenography methods a lot of people reach speeds of 220+wpm (the average speed a person talks)#but even if i learned plover (something i have all the equipment to do but i havent sat down n done yet)#i doubt id be able to become a court stenographer or other such thing bcos of how autism slows down my audio processing#so i would need to attend to That and improve it greatly and i do not know if that is possible#and also like i have no urgent need to transcribe real-time dialogue its just an interest thing#but yknow!#anywho i probs need to practice dvorak more and get good at that before i crack into stenography#last i checked i was like 23wpm without reference if i attempted accuracy (using a typing test with punctuation and sentence structure)#which is like. dogshit. but it wont get better if i dont practice ig#okkkk from now on im going dvorak mode except for schoolwork and im not allowed 2 get mad#ok there we go i switched over yay#i'm both better and worse than i expected#muscle memory is doing so much heavy lifting re: where letters n shit are#but its still a little agonising
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i will alaso say that i do NOT care about h00k not ONE BIT. idk why he's been able to hold this yaoi title for so long , like i also don't get how it doesn't make him look absolutely LAME to everyone. liKE J*NGLEBOY IS RIGHT that belt is literally just given to him cause he's a nepo baby.
AND YES! jack is also a nepo baby but your dad being an actor that was famous for about 5-6 ish years , then had to act again to support his kids..is VERY DIFFERENT from your dad LITERALLY being a wrestling veteran in ww3 nOIDMOISMFIOSF.. LIKE CMON
#straight dudes talking about like perry too LIKE UMMM.... I KNOW MORE THAN U#DONT GET ME STRTED ON HOOK!!#he gets away iwth LITERALLY DOING NOTHING puts only about 5 minutes in a match and gets windED#like jungle boy is gonna have to literalyl carry the feud AND I DFONT THJINK HE CAN ASMNFH#but im thinking this is really good practice for jack to get better#to give him a feud with someone who will put in nothing so he has to do everything to make hook look really good#curious to how this will play out
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