#And the judgement from Lily and Reg

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

Harry & Luna Headcanons

Harry is 1 year and 1 month older than Luna

He calls her “Loons” or “Na-na”

She calls him “Haz” or “Bunny”

They both know 9 languages (Urdu, English, Spanish, French, mandarin, welsh, Dutch, Filipino Italian)

Everyone thinks Luna is the innocent & sweet one but it’s actually Harry

They grew up with Theo, Blaise, Neville and occasionally saw Draco and the Weasley’s

When they miss home they go into the kitchens and bake Effie’s chocolate chip cookies

They both stan Taylor Swift and have mini concerts in either of their rooms

They can both sew (Harry prefers embroidery though)

At the Potter residence their rooms are across the hall and at the Lovegood residence they’re next to each other

Harry starts fights with anyone who calls her “Loony”

They study together sometimes

They still hang out with the kids they grew up with at school (occasionally)

they have their ‘own’ language which is just a mix of all the languages they know

they talk about people in front of their faces

they wear matching amethyst necklaces

They have tea with Remus randomly

Luna steals Harry’s ties and wears them as accessories

both of them kiss peoples cheeks in greeting

they have a cat

Harry sets up Luna and Ginny

they don’t often fight but it’s usually verbal

if they’re walking past eachother in the halls, Harry will tug on Luna’s hair and Luna will stretch out to trip him

Luna has Harry saved in her phone as a keyboard smash followed by the middle finger emoji

they’re both very blunt

they pass notes in the great hall

Lunas godparents are Barty and Dorcas

Luna knows the password to Gryffindor Tower

they share clothes

they’re both very judgemental

[jaylienpotter]

Conceited

Jegulus one-shot

Warning: Lily Evans bashing (kinda)

"Why don't you give me a chance? Even to be friends?!"

Regulus turned around and walked towards the source of the noise. He knew that voice very well.

"I hate you, Potter!"

Seemed like Black's crush was getting rejected again. Part of him was sad for his brother's best friend, another, more selfish side of him, was relieved.

"Why?! What did I ever do to you? I know I was a prick to Snape sometimes-"

"You're a bully!"

"I'm not a bully! Snape isn't stupid, nor weak, nor innocent. He does the exact same thing we did to him! He's not a victim." He wasn't wrong, to be a bully meant it was one-sided. Snape and Potter were more like mortal enemies.

"Even then, you're still a rich, obnoxious, arrogant, selfish prat who doesn't shut up about himself! You're so bloody conceited!"

That hit. He could see the hurt in those dark brown eyes. People didn't know the effort the tanned skinned boy put into helping others, making sure everyone is happy, included, safe. He could have all eyes on him yet no one noticed. Except Reg. He noticed James.

"That's not true." The pair turned to him in surprise, pale hands becoming fidgety with the sudden notion of being watched. He kind of regretted speaking up.

"James doesn't talk about himself. Yes, he's sometimes a bit obnoxious and loud, and he does talk a lot but it's never centered around himself. You're getting confused with my brother, Evans."

"Oh, please. Those two are the same. You're not in Gryffindor, you don't hear them all the time." Right, but he did hear from the boy in private. In their late night talks that started after Sirius ran away. Because James didn't want Reg to feel alone. He noticed. He cared. He helped.

"What does he say then? About himself. Not about his friends. Or the stupid pranks they all pull." He dragged the word 'all', making it a point that it didn't count.

"Do you know his favourite colour? Favourite animal? Favourite classes and professors? His grades? How many people he's dated? Anything about his home life? His life goals and dreams?" It was too late to back out, the rant had begun, and you bet Blacks finish what they start.

"Because I don't think so. He might talk a shit lot, but it's about his group plans, his friends, making jokes, making others laugh when feeling like shit as so many do nowadays," himself included. "It takes a lot to get him to talk about himself as an individual, actually. You would know if you gave him a chance. But for someone so against judgemental people, you really do focus on his appearance." Green eyes wide, pink lips shut tight. Regulus contained his smirk.

"He's a good person. A great friend. Selfless and caring despite being from an old pureblood family. And he fights for what he thinks is right. He fights for others. With his big personality comes a big heart. So if you don't make space for the love he has to offer just because you think you don't believe he has it in him, he's not the conceited one." Red hair nearly flew with Lily's stormed exit. She hadn't liked their interaction in the slightest. It was better that way. She wasn't deserving.

Piercing dark eyes were burning a whole through black curls. Reg avoided James's gaze, afraid of what he'd say. He only faced him when he felt the boy closer, and he could swear Potter's eyes were sparkling.

"You meant that...?"

"Of course. You care so much about everyone else that you forget yourself. You couldn't tell me what you wanted to do in the future because it would depend on what your friends decided to do with their lives. You're the most selfless person I know, and if she thinks otherwise, she doesn't deserve your love or friendship."

Silence. He really wanted the older boy to say something, but he just stared, lips slightly parted. Icy blue eyes looked away, shoulders tensing from the attention.

Warm strong arms surrounded his small figure, nearly making him halt. But Potter's sweet, intoxicating smell had him relax and melt in his arms, wrapping his much slimmer ones around his tanned waist.

"Thanks, Reggie." His heart skipped a beat at the nickname and he hoped James didn't feel it against his own chest. He was also thankful to have his face covered, absolutely certain that his white cheeks had turned fully pink.

[jegulily-stuff]

Jegulily complement each other really well in their types of intelligence.

Regulus is smart in that he's knowledgeable, especially about obscure and arcane stuff, but struggles to deviate from the way he's been taught things work.

Lily is smart in that she's innovative and good at applying information in ways other people haven't thought of yet, but she doesnt have a large background of information to work with. Lily and Reg really benefit from each other's strengths when doing projects together.

James' main skill is processing information. He learns new things easily without needing to give them much thought, and is good at instinctively applying it in the moment. He has sound practical judgement and is very decisive, which is useful when Reg and Lily are overthinking.

[courfee]

ah, if tiktok crowd heard you naming jegulus as your fav ship and nobleflower (still don’t understand who and why named this ship like that) as your least favorite, they would probably put you on witch trial :) which is stupid, of course, they’re not the same….at all? i do like them, tho. they’re cute. but i’ve been pushing lily/narcissa agenda for years now and it’s a bit sad that my girls don’t get the same attention </3

do you have favorite wlw ship? if yes, what do you like about them?

about jegulus and prongsfoot, i read both amtc and owanker and in both stories sirius ends up supporting jegulus, differently and less enthusiastically in amtc (understandable why). does he ever get jealous of what regulus and james have? not in a romantic sense, more like in james-was-mine-first way. i mean your sirius in general!

See for the longest time i thought nobleflower was lily/narcissa cause like. Lily has been 'flower' forever (flowerpott?? Hello??) And narcissa is part of the noble house of black, so it just made sense to me. If i push them closer together in age i do like lily/narcissa as a ship, i think they're cute

I'm generally not big on shipping, i can enjoy ships from afar but i personally dont ship them, there have been about 6 ships in total over all my fandoms that i've ever properly shipped, so i wouldn't say i really have any wlw ships i properly ship. I do enjoy seeing things about pandalily and when i read atyd i honestly thought mary and marlene would end up together so i have a bit of a soft spot for them when they do happen, but it's all very passive enjoyment

i do think sirius would have a bit of a problem with jegulus, in canon adjacent settings more so (see amtc obviously) based on the fact that james is his best friend. I think it's less of a jealousy thing and more of trust thing, although i guess they do go hand in hand a bit. It's the fact that he cried so much about regulus to james and suddenly reg and james are a thing so obviously sirius would have to wonder if james tells regulus the things that sirius said about his brother, and i think he would struggle a bit more opening up about regulus to james, because james is now biased in his judgement. In that sense i think he is a bit jealous and at times would probably wish james wasnt dating regulus. (Sirius would certainly be jealous of james for getting along with regulus so well though. James managed to do what sirius tried for so long and eventually gave up on)

In AU settings like operation wanker i think those feelings are a looooot less but would probably still bubble up every now and then, sirius getting a bit territorial about james, but i think regulus would just kind of have to come to terms with the fact that every now and then he will walk in on james and sirius sleeping half naked in the same bed cuddled together under one blanket. and sirius is confident enough in both his friendship with james and relationship with his brother that feelings of jealousy or inferirority would barely ever arise

[aithusarosekiller]

This isn't an attack as much as an alternate perspective but I would disagree with the black-and-white perspective here and the somewhat implicit implication that the characters in question must be perfect depictions of the objective events of their environment.

I think the nuance here comes where you consider that their perspective on their family relationships is not necessarily what their sibling or an omniscient narrator would think it looks like from outside, so altering the validity of their feelings as inferior is null because people are not omniscient, they are biased and blinded to the perspectives others may take on the scenario. The characters are people and therefore are not privy to every truth of the situation, their only have their own experiences and biases to rely on when making a judgement, unlike a reader who has an unbiased outside perspective.

The perspectives you are using as evidence here are those of their siblings. This does not mean that they are wrong, but it also does not succeed in disregarding any feelings Reg or Lily may have regarding their worth in their parents' eyes. We are only granted with one side of the story, there is no way for us to see the other side as they are dead and cannot speak for themselves, but denying their perspective entirely is strange. Both Sirius and Petunia are biased with their own experiences with their parents and their own view on their siblings, as both Lily and Regulus would be. If I thought that my sister was the favourite child because our parents her praised but she disagreed because she did not feel she had ever personally received such praise or though it was disingenuous, neither of us are inherently wrong.

Regulus may have been praised constantly in front of Sirius to try and bend him into shape; but that does not mean regulus ever heard any of that praise, or that the thought the praise was from a place of genuine admiration. In families like that, it is highly likely he would end up seeing himself as nothing but a to to shape Sirius up properly. He could not look at the world with any perspective other than his own and as goes human nature, would assume it was about him.

Lily may have been held to high regard for her parents for being a witch and an intelligent woman but that does not rid her from any feelings of isolation or guilt with her family. She may have felt distanced from them as her sister gets to spend most of the year with them while Lily is limited to letters and late updates on what they jane been doing. Lily thinks her sister gets more of their parents than her because she is away, Petunia is blinded by jealousy at her sister's advantage and assumes their parents' pride in Lily is hatred of her. That how the mind works, especially when it comes to sibling bonds. Why is Lily's perspective any less valuable than Petunia's? Why would either of them be taken as word of god?

I think what is needed here is a knowledge that ahah the characters say and feel is never necessary what we would consider the hard truth. People are nuanced and biased and they can have their own views of their experiences even if we don't believe it is the 'solid truth' as a reader outside the story and above the situation. You can't look at a character's actions as definitive or you will never gather anything from reading. Every narrator who lives within the story is an unreliable narrator and cannot be taken at face value as a facet of truth.

Characters cannot see from the outside of the story like you can.

kinda hate how some people totally misrepresent regulus and lilys relationships with their families. like no, they were not stuck in the shadow of their older siblings, they were the ones that their parents preferred. they were both the golden child of their families, not the child their parents cast aside

sirius makes it very clear that walburga and orion liked regulus far more than they liked him (though i highly doubt they actually liked either of them, much less loved) and the entire reason why petunia was so jealous of lily was because their parents doted on her since she was magic

you can totally have regulus and lily relate about their experiences with their siblings and parents (which are arguably similar!) but you dont need to do it by changing them!

[fforsythiaaa]

Sweater Weather Tarot

Y’all, never have I ever created fan art or anything... and I still haven’t. Because I can’t draw. But after @lumosinlove mentioned a Sweater Weather tarot deck, I had to cross over this amazing story (which you should 100% read immediately) with my only other creative talent -- reading tarot.

Click through for the Major Arcana as Sweater Weather. (Please, please, someone make my dreams come true and illustrate these.)

spoilers abound, read the fic first!!! 0 - The Fool - James The start of the tarot encourages us to think about the hopeful, confident feelings we have at the beginning of a journey. James is overly excited about welcoming Sirius to the team, about Lily’s pregnancy, then later about Coops and O’Knutzy. He’s a tad oblivious - the main caution that the fool gives us -  but we all wish we had his optimism.

1 - The Magician - Dumo The magician is the one who sees all, knows all, and makes shit happen. Can you think of anyone who better represents creative problem-solving, using intuition to guide actions, charisma, power, benevolence? Daddy Pascal all the way.

2 - The High Priestess - Natalie Even though she’s a relatively minor character, it’s clear to everyone that Natalie knows exactly who she is and she acts like it. She’s a bad-ass who knows what she wants and gets it. That’s the high priestess - balancing our internal and external drives, goals, and motivations.

3 - The Empress - Lily I know, I know, put the pregnant lady on the card featuring.... a pregnant lady? The empress encourages us to embrace our compassion, empathy, and healing powers; she tells us to bring new things into the world, whether that’s literally small people or creative projects or new relationships. She’s so supportive of Loops, James, and Sirius that she deserves this (my favorite card!)

4 - The Emperor - The League Is is cheating to put a kind of abstract body here? The emperor represents the structures in our life that give us rules and regulations. Sometimes, that’s a good thing - we can all use a little routine and structure for stability. Sometimes it can feel oppressive. The League is responsible for bringing all our favorite characters together, but its power makes them feel scared of breaking the rules.

5 - The Hierophant - Minnie A hierophant is a religious leader; in the tarot, he taps into The Rules and uses them to provide guidance on the journey. Minnie, as Sirius’s agent, knows how to guide him along that traditional path as a star hockey player without too much damage to who he is inside. She’s going to work within the system to give the press some Brothers Black drama to distract other news, but she’s proud as hell when he snaps back at nosy reporters. She’s the best.

6 - The Lovers - Coops What did you expect??? In the Tarot, this card isn’t just about romantic relationships with others - it’s also about our relationship to ourselves. Sirius and Remus are both healing and building their relationships with their own identities throughout the course of their careers and lives in SW. Their growth together and individually is what makes them perfect for this card.

7 - The Chariot - Finn This card represents action, action, action - even if you’re not sure which direction that action is headed in. Finn dates June, kisses Leo, runs after Logan, shares their relationship with team... all of this to keep himself moving forward. Maybe it’s not a linear path, but he’s sure as hell skating running down it.

8 - Justice - the Blizzard Honestly I think this card is such a perfect pairing with the High Priestess. Justice asks us to think broadly about what is fair, to ourselves and to others. At Remus’s during All-Stars, Kasey sums up perfectly how Sirius's reaction wasn’t fair to anyone involved -- it’s a moment that really hit home for me what a stand-up guy he is! 

9 - the Hermit - 36 Missed Calls It’s good to take time out to retreat and evaluate yourself, your life, your next steps. The hermit isn’t a “bad” card, by any means. But we can’t hide forever, and we have to choose when our self-reflection is going do the most good, for ourselves and for the ones around us.

10 - Wheel of Fortune - O’Knutzy The wheel reminds us that sometimes it’s best to go with the flow and trust that the right opportunities will present themselves at the right times. Sometimes you just gotta wait 8 years for your missing piece to show up, okay? I’m not crying. 

11 - Strength - Sirius TW: coming out, being outed, abuse (mentions, not graphic) This card always gets me because the Waite-Smith illustration reminds us that strength doesn’t always look like we would assume. Sometimes it’s just surviving, just making it another day, even if you’re not doing the most “courageous” thing. It’s hard to not be out, it’s hard to come out, it’s hard to be outed. And it’s hard to experience abuse and hard to have abuse in your past. Sirius knows a thing or two about strength, okay, plus this card has a lion on it, so there you go.

12 - the Hanged Man - Leo Where the hermit retreats to do his self-reflection and thinking, the hanged man takes his time to reflect out in the open. His upside-down position represents considering that what’s expected of you might not serve you. The most observant guy on the team could teach us a thing or two about stepping back to step up.

13 - Death - Regulus Listen. LISTEN. Death is a great card to pull in the Tarot. It signifies the end of an old chapter and the beginning of a new one. When Regulus and Sirius cut off their mother and Reg agrees to come back to Gryffindor, he ends that chapter of the Black brothers’ lives, allowing a new one to start.

14 - Temperance - Arthur I’m 100% basing this on the snippet that Haz shared where Arthur tells everyone not to bring their relationship drama onto the ice. He’s clearly so happy, but there’s also a game to play and a cup to win. Balance, boys, everything in balance.

15 - the Devil - Paparazzi & Press Sure, we’re mad at the paps and want to characterize them as negatively as possible, but truthfully they’re more complicated. The paparazzi and the press represent the temptation of caring about what others think... it’s fine to care a little bit, but when you care to the point of sacrificing yourself and your own growth, you’ve given into a dangerous temptation. 

16 - the Tower - Greyback, Walburga, and The Photo When everything falls apart in a spectacular mess, that’s the tower for ya. Greyback, Sirius’s mom, and the photo are the ones that set off the chain of obstacles that Sirius and Remus overcome in SW. Of course in hindsight we’re glad the tower fell so that we can build up a better one, but wow, did it have to suck so much? Like the death card, the tower also paves the way for new beginnings, but we can grieve the way it happened. 

17 - the Star - Remus You thought it would be Sirius, didn’t you? Well the star is a “dreams come true” card, and Remus knows something about that. Even when his hockey career was ended before it began, he pivoted and created a new dream to go by; his dreams of love may have taken a back-burner, but now they’re coming truuuue <3 thanks for letting me be so corny

18 - the Moon - Logan The phases of the moon remind us that nothing is permanent. Even if there’s some mystery about what’s going to come next, our worries aren’t going to prevent the sun from rising. Logan was perhaps a little reticent to move from his “ignoring feelings” phase into “yay love amazing relationship” phase. He hid a little bit from himself and from Finn. But it’s all going to be great!

19 - the Sun - Julian & Adele We look to the sun for happiness, confidence, inspiring happiness in others -- the next generation is certainly a source of that. Hazelnuts love Julian and Adele because they represent how amazing life can be for our favorite Lions.

20 - Judgement - Hazel @lumosinlove She’s engineering the whole show. Us Hazelnuts can only wait with bated breath for her to bless us with the next chapters of Sweater Weather and Coast to Coast! 21 - the World - the Cup *knocks on wood* *throws salt over left shoulder* This card is the end of the journey in the Major Arcana and it’s achieving our goals - growth, love, stability, creativity, new knowledge, whatever your heart needs or desires. It’s not just about winning a championship for our characters.... it’s about living a complex and fulfilled life, with love, hockey, self-confidence, family, friends, and maybe a Cup, too. *knocks on wood again*

[siriuslyblack12]

chapter 9

“Pads, Pads c’mon, we have to talk about this.”

 He groaned.

 “You can’t just ignore it forever,”

 Another groan.

 “Sirius, baby, I know this is hard for you and you don’t know how to deal with it but if you just let me help we could do it together, yeah? Please let me help you.”

 Sirius went to groan once again but this time just sighed softly in defeat. He and Remus were sat on the latter’s bed, snacks that Mrs Lupin had brought them long discarded and sheets askew. Sirius was yet to respond to the messages he’d gotten from his brother the night before, which was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing in that he hadn’t had to confront it, but a curse in that he couldn’t help but stress over it. Regulus was all he could think about as he lay face down on his boyfriend’s bed, clothes and hair askew.

 He lifted his head to look at Remus, smiling at the way his curls fell down onto his forehead, “What is there to talk about? He wants me to go stay at the house I ran away from, there’s nothing to even consider. I’m not doing it.”

 “I know, I know,” Remus leaned forward to cup Sirius’s face in his hands, forcing his eyes to stay on him, “But he reached out to you, he hasn’t done that before. You’ll have to talk to him at some point.”

 Sirius didn’t reply in favour of capturing the boy’s lips in a long kiss. It was gentle, as if both were afraid that the other would break as they fisted each other’s t-shirts to bring them closer together. Remus moved his head to the side with a bitten back smile, causing Sirius’s lips to fall on his cheek as he was still in the trance. He snorted quietly.

 “I for one think that my time would be better spent kissing you, unless you any objections…” Sirius trailed off suggestively.

 “You’re an idiot.”

 Despite that, Remus gave him the shortest of pecks to the forehead. “What does that make you then? The idiot’s boyfriend?”

 Remus spoke breathlessly, “Something like that, yeah.”

 When their lips met again, everything in the world seemed to fall into right into place. The stars aligned, the planets shone brightly, the two of them together where they belonged. Sirius could feel Remus’s eyelashes flutter shut against his cheek and hand come up to grip his jacket. If he didn’t have something to hold onto he would probably combust on the spot, but he abandoned that thought in favour of living in the moment.

 Sirius sighed into his mouth as he pulled away, “You’re too good at that,”

 “You think?” Remus laughed tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear. It was a little exasperated, coming out in a much higher pitch than his usual tenor.

 “It’s a wonder I get anything done,” Sirius pressed a kiss to one cheek, then the other. “When you’re sat there,” A kiss to his nose this time, “Looking like that.”

 Remus couldn’t control the blush that rose on his cheeks, “’m nothing compared to you.”

 “Nonsense!” His boyfriend practically shouted, making Remus have to put a hand over his mouth to stop his mum from hearing and coming in. “You’re literally the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, babe. I’m in second, of course, but you’re like… unreal.”

 Rolling his eyes, Remus was hit with a wave of emotion and gratitude for Sirius. He didn’t exactly agree with him, but every compliment did something to his heart. Maybe if he heard it enough he’d begin to believe it himself, but he couldn’t see that happening anytime soon. Sirius Black is vain, Remus Lupin is not, that’s the gospel truth.

 “You could come with me,” Sirius supplied rather unhelpfully, hand wading through Remus’s hair. “Stay over at the house with me, at least then I wouldn’t have to talk to Reg on my own.”

 “Are you sure that’s a good idea? I don’t want to get in the way or anything-” Panic snuck into his voice as he questioned him, they’d never slept over before. There was a part of himself telling him that Sirius just needed the comfort, but another part saying that they weren’t at that stage in the relationship.

 “No, no, you wouldn’t be in the way. I can’t go there alone, Re, I just can’t. There’s a double bed in my own room so there’s plenty of room and everything.”

 He hesitated slightly, before replying, “Yeah, okay, I’ll stay with you. But if at any point you need to be alone with Reg then I understand, just tell me, okay?”

 Sirius surprised him with a kiss, one full of happiness and hope and promise. “Thank you so much.”

 “I’m just doing my job as the idiot’s boyfriend, after all.”

 The pillow that met his face second later did not come as much of a surprise.

  ~~

  Lily looked over at Remus from over her book, the library table between them littered with pens and notebooks long abandoned. Marlene was sat by her side, her phone open and hidden under the table away from the peering eyes of the librarian as she laughed at whatever was on the screen. He’d just finished telling them, like an excited little girl, of his weekend plans with Sirius, a smile etched on to his face which quickly dissolved. “You do realise he wants to shag, right?”

 Lily’s words made him scoff, “What? What are you talking about?”

 “Think about it,” She began patiently, her elbows folded over her book, “You’ve been dating for a couple of months now, you’ve never slept over at each other’s house before and suddenly he asks you to stay over for a whole weekend. In his bed.”

 Marlene clicked her phone off, placing it gently on the table and laughing slightly, “She’s got a point.”

 “No she doesn’t!” Their stares burned into him, weighing him down as he tried to argue further. “Why would he invite me to comfort him in a house he hates to talk to his brother and shag as soon as he’s not looking?”

 “Don’t ask me.” Lily said dismissively, eyebrows raised. His mind reeled as he considered what she was saying. If, and only if, they were right and that was Sirius’s plan then he was about to lose his virginity to the boy he loved, about to experience something that he would remember most likely for the rest of his life. It scared him a little, thinking about being so open and vulnerable even if it was with someone whom he trusted more than life itself. He’d be under scrutiny, criticism, judgement, Sirius could hate what he saw; but at the same time, sharing himself with him gave an unexpected rush through his bones.

 “He wants to shag me.” Remus stated with disbelief.

 Lily looked over at Marlene, then back at Remus, “I thought we’d already established that.”

 “Well I hadn’t.” He squeaked. “What am I supposed to do? Why didn’t he say anything? We haven’t even talked about it, and it’s not like the gay stuff is taught in school. I’m gonna be rubbish.”

 “I’m not sure a lesbian and a straight girl are the best to talk about the technicalities of gay sex with,” Marlene said with a laugh. She shrugged, “Just do what you’re comfortable with, Re. And talk to him. Don’t be afraid to tell him what you like.”

 He groaned, pressing his head down into his hands out of embarrassment. It wasn’t exactly the most appropriate conversation to have in the middle of a library.

 “Aw, you’ll do fine, Re. There’s no pressure.” Lily reached over to hold his hand, swiping a thumb over his knuckles.

 He rolled his eyes, “Have you met my boyfriend? The most attractive person in the school, of course there’s pressure.”

 “And what do you think your boyfriend would say if he heard you saying that.” Marlene smiled.

 “I’m fucked. Royally fucked.”

  ~~

  As soon as the school bell rang at the end of the day on Friday, Remus and Sirius found each other outside as soon as possible, pushing poor year 7’s out of the way to meet in a loose hug. It was as if they’d forgotten that they’d been in every lesson together, and that they’d sat right next to each other at break and lunch. Every second apart was torture.

 Remus stepped back in favour of taking Sirius’s hand in his, “You ready to go?”

 Sirius brought their hands to his lips with a sweet kiss, “Reg told me to pick up something to eat on the way there, he’s not exactly a great chef.”

 “You’ve been talking to Regulus,” It came out as more of a question than a statement, to which Sirius nodded encouragingly. He seemed happy for the progress, “Well what do you fancy?”

 Sirius bit his lip, “How about a subway? I haven’t been there in years.” It was probably an exaggeration, but Remus couldn’t help but smile.

 “Lead the way.”

 Before they could make it far however, James came up behind them with a startling shout, “Here that, Pete, we’re going to subway! I’m dying for a club sandwich.”

 Sure enough, Peter walked up right beside James, but his face served as a direct contrast to his friend’s oblivious smile. “I don’t think we’re invited, Prongs.”

 “What are you on about?” He had thrown an arm around Sirius’s shoulders as a friendly gesture, bounding forward with his chin up until he finally looked down and saw a pair of entwined hands. “Oh my God, this is a couple thing isn’t it? I’m so stupid.”

 “You’re not stupid,” Remus assured, smiling up at both James and Sirius. It wasn’t the first time he’d unknowingly third-wheeled them, multiple times he’d caught them about to sneak off together and tagged along or sat himself right between them on the common room sofa. At first it had been funny, watching his head reel in confusion when they told him what he was doing, but at a certain point it had become frustrating. “But you are correct.”

 He felt Sirius tug on his hand slightly, “We’ll see you on Monday, okay?”

 “You wound me, Moony.” James placed a hand over his heart playfully but fell back to respect their wishes.

 “He wounds your ego,” Sirius jibbed. He seemed quite happy with himself, grinning wildly and squeezing Remus’s hand. Remus squeezed back to contain himself. “See you later, mate.”

 “Bye, dickface.”

 And with that, they had to take another detour as Sirius tackled James to the ground. Friendship truly is a beautiful thing.

  ~~

  “C’mon, Regulus will probably be wondering what took us so long.” Remus prompted gently. The two approached the door of Sirius’s old house, subway bags in hand as Sirius gradually became more hesitant. Remus couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was going through, the pain that just being there brought back.

 “It’s not my fault someone couldn’t make up his mind about his sandwich. I mean, how hard is it to decide if you want it toasted or not.”

 He smiled, “It’s a difficult decision! Throws off the whole thing.”

 “Sure it does,” Sirius snorted, waving Remus off dismissively. He stopped them as they came to stand right outside the door, taking in a breath and squeezing his eyes shut. The ministrations on his face told Remus everything he needed to know, so he turned to cup Sirius face in his hands.

 “It’s going to be okay, Pads,” He assured. “He wants you to be here, he’s the one who invited you, remember. It’s just us and your brother.”

 “I know, I know.” He pressed his face further against the warm hands, relishing in it. “It’s just weird to be here and feel so… happy.”

 First, they kissed quickly and simply, but as they pulled apart Sirius chased Remus’s mouth for a much longer and deeper kiss. He kissed him like he was a dying man, as if Remus would somehow save him from his inevitable fate. They were so lost in each other that they only barely noticed as the door was swung open by the youngest Black brother, startling them back to reality.

 Regulus stayed in the doorway, eyes flicking between them in equal surprise. It occurred to Remus that he probably wasn’t aware of their relationship, considering everything they did at school could be passed off as banter. “I didn’t know you were inviting friends.”

 “It’s just Remus,” Sirius said harshly, walking past Regulus and into the hallway, gesturing for Remus to follow him, “And in case it wasn’t clear, he’s not exactly a friend.”

 Remus couldn’t help but blush fiercely at the statement, and then at Regulus’s intense stare that followed. After a few moments of silence, just eyeing each other curiously, Remus cleared his throat and followed his boyfriend. The first thing he noticed was the sheer size and expense the house had, all grand spaces and luxurious furniture. There was a cupboard on the back wall showcasing various pieces of china, fragile enough to break at a single touch. Remus suddenly felt very out of place in a faded red school leavers hoodie and his dad’s old jeans, kicking off his mud-covered trainers and discarding them neatly.

 He watched intently as Sirius fell down onto a pure white sofa, legs lined with gold embroidery, and opened the bag of food, “I got you tuna, if that’s alright Reg. You used to love it.”

 “Mum wouldn’t like us eating on the sofa.” Regulus warned. Despite the words being cold it was said with all the warmth he could muster; even a small smile accompanied it.

 “Should’ve thought of that before you invited me,” Sirius folded his legs and took a sandwich out of the bag to give to Regulus, and then another one for Remus. Then Regulus didn’t even hesitate to sit himself on a chair opposite the couple, a similar perfectly kept colour and texture. “Want some crisps?”

 “No way I’m eating your cheese and onion monstrosities,” Regulus said with disgust.

 Sirius sighed, shoving the bag towards Remus to offer him the same, “For the last time, cheese and onion is the best flavour! What do you prefer, ready salted?” He teased.

 “Actually, yes I do.”

 Groaning dramatically and laying his head back onto the sofa, Sirius reached around for the TV remote. Remus looked curiously up at where he was pointing it, what seemed to be a blank wall decorated with only lavish paintings and one bland family photo from years ago, when a large square lit up with an episode of Friends. Of course.

 “Seriously? This is what you’ve been watching without me?” Sirius said with shock and disgust.

 Regulus took a bite out of his sandwich, “It’s mum and dad, not me. Turn it over if you’re that bothered.”

 “Nah, Remus loves this show.”

 Remus looked up at the mention of his name, curls bouncing, “What? No I don’t!” Sirius just smiled giddily at him, turning the volume up and settling back onto the couch. A blanket that was thrown across the arm was thrown across both of their laps, enclosing them in warmth as they joked quietly with Regulus. One of Sirius’s hands found Remus’s underneath it, a silent show of gratitude and thanks.

 “So, Reg, what’s your excuse for the Halloween party?” Sirius spoke after a few moments of silence.

 Regulus paled a little, thin fingers tightening around the arm of his chair. Remus expected some sort of explosion, emotion pouring out of the boy like a violent foundation of pent up anger against his brother. Instead however, Regulus let out a long breath, unwinding his fingers and curling the corners of his mouth up, “Pardon me for not wanting to spend my Halloween with my brother and his idiot friends.”

 “I’ll have you know that we are extremely cool,” Sirius raised his chin in defiance.

 Regulus snorted, “If by cool you mean thoroughly stupid, then you are correct.”

 “Prick.”

 “Dickhead.”

 “Gimp.”

 Listening to them tease each other, Remus was reminded starkly of Sirius and James, arguing and wrestling like all brothers do. Sirius and James had always acted more like brothers than the biological pair, from the first time Remus had met them, but it wasn’t too bad of a change. I’m happy for him.

  ~~

  If Remus felt out of place in the living room, he certainly felt the same as he stepped into Sirius’s bedroom. Large bookcases loomed over him from one of the walls, filled with all the literature he’d ever wanted and a few stray comic books. However, that was where the small touch of personality seemed to end as his eyes shifted to the king-sized bed pushed against the wall, draped in silk sheets and a golden throw. Remus couldn’t help but let out a soft gasp as he looked on.

 Sirius laughed slightly, “It’s not as fancy as it looks, I promise.”

 “Shit, this whole house is…” He trailed off, searching for but not quite finding the words to express what he thought.

 “I hate it here,” Sirius admitted, sitting down on his bed gingerly. “I hate this house, I hate being here, I hate thinking about it.”

 Remus sat beside him, tangling their legs together and placing his hand on top of Sirius’s, “You don’t have to do it alone, you know. I’m here, and Regulus, and everyone else.”

 “I know,” He said, threading their fingers together. His eyes were sad, contradicted by the smile spreading on his face. Remus thought the dimples on his cheeks were impossibly cute. “Thank you, by the way. I don’t think I said that before. Thank you.”

 “No place I’d rather be, love.” Remus said honestly, his hand drawing circles on Sirius’s jaw. When they kissed, it was gentle and kind and tender with all the care they could give one another. Sirius almost sighed as he felt a familiar nip of teeth on his bottom lip, falling back onto the bed under the weight of his boyfriend’s mouth. What was at first slow and quiet gradually became more heated, passionate with want and teenage hormones. He straddled Remus’s hips, strands of hair falling into his eyes causing them both to laugh slightly.

 Remus blinked up at the ceiling as Sirius moved down to his neck, peppering kisses over his cheeks and jaw on his way. Hands threaded through each other’s hair, breathing deeply and melodically, the two fitted together like two pieces of a perfect puzzle, moulded like clay. Neither were particularly religious, not necessarily believing in greater powers but somehow it was as if they were always meant to be together. Remus opened his eyes, “Wait, wait, Sirius, fuck, we need to talk about this.”

 “You didn’t want to do much talking a few minutes ago, did you?” He punctuated it with a heavy kiss to his neck.

 “Sirius.”

 He giggled, fucking giggled, “I know, I’m sorry.” Sirius pressed a kiss to his jaw once more, before leaning back to look Remus in the face, his thumbs drawing circles on his hip. “Go on.”

 Remus licked his lips timidly, his own hands joining behind Sirius’s head. He let out a shaky laugh, “Regulus is just down the hall, you know.”

 “It’s a big house,” Sirius said, his signature smirk showing itself on his face. “Thick walls, he probably can’t hear a thing.”

 “Is that so?” They just looked at each other for a few moments, before Remus put a steadying hand on his boyfriends’ thighs to flip them over. Sirius almost groaned as their mouths met again, tongues swirling and hands exploring.  His hands rode up beneath Remus’s hoodie, resting on the back skin beneath it as he tilted his head to give him more access to his mouth. Remus pushed a knee between his legs and to his crotch, earning himself another pleased noise.

 “Are you sure you want to do this? I know it’s a big deal, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” Sirius said as he pushed a hand through Remus’s hair. He said it with authenticity, genuine care dripping from the tone.

 “Yeah, I do,” Remus breathed. “What about you?”

 Sirius tore his mouth away from where it had been stuck pressed against Remus’s, sitting up slightly so that the tawny-haired boy sat between his knees. “I really do hate this house. There’s just too many memories, bad memories and no matter how nice Regulus is I can’t be here without thinking about it, you know?” Remus nodded along sadly as he spoke, “But maybe if I make new memories, happy memories, I won’t have to think about that anymore.”

 “But that shouldn’t be the only reason you chose to have sex. I don’t want you to feel like you have to,” Remus reasoned.

 “But that’s the thing, I do really want to. I really care about you, Re, I don’t think I’ve ever cared about someone like this. Prongs and Wormtail are great and all but you’re… you. I can’t even describe it. You’re dead fit, too. That helps.” Remus rolled his eyes and barked a laugh.

 Sirius continued, laughing along with him, “What I’m trying to say is, I want you to be my first. I-, I love you. I love you.”

 Remus bit his lip to subdue his overwhelming happiness, tears threatening to spill, “I love you too. Fuck, I love you so much.” They said it twice because neither could believe just how lucky they’d gotten, because it didn’t feel real enough to say and move on.

 When it was over, they lay exposed in the evening sun flitting in from the window to bask in the afterglow. Sirius’s chest heaved, “I officially declare that your cock is a masterpiece.”

 Remus laughed loudly, “Shut up.”

 “Absolute masterpiece, if James only knew! If he ever calls you innocent again-“

 “Stop talking or I’ll make you.” Remus growled playfully, running his hands along Sirius’s sides.

 He leaned into the touch, “Is that a threat or a promise?”

[redemptioninterlude]

It’s an affair that’s started since they were children. A softness, a FONDNESS, if you will. They’re meant to be horrible children, born of ill will and a sense of pure entitlement that passes from generation to generation, twisting within them what it means to be a child. They’re handed rules and regulations as to how to handle themselves, hardly playthings, and told whom they could and couldn’t speak to. Who was worthy. The Blacks fall into that category for them, a way of angling the McKinnons into upwards mobility. They play, oblivious to the politics of it all, and Regulus is sweet enough -- the younger brother, the one that tags along and not always to good effect, but Marlene can’t help it, he’s small with full cheeks and she has no siblings of her own. It’s nice to feel like the strong one, for once, until she gets older and learns that she’s been that all along.

The school years are a little revolutionary - she writes him that she’s in Ravenclaw and not Slytherin as expected, and she doesn’t hear back at first. Is it disappointment? For once, she doesn’t care, she’s happy and excited and suddenly all the rules they’ve been taught GROWING UP no longer seem to apply and it’s brilliant. But another year passes and little Regulus Black himself comes to school and he is no longer little and he himself is trying to find himself but when she speaks to him she feels him a little cold. Perhaps it’s the new muggle friends she has, perhaps it’s other things too, more than the blue in her robes and the smell of cigarettes that now sticks to her clothing, the scabbed knees from falling and trying to play quidditch. 

Marlene doesn’t try to dig - maybe she herself is afraid, of what he might say, the judgement he might pass. The kind she’s already getting at home, not that it matters anyways, she goes home sparingly and puts on a face, but really she’s making plans with Dorcas and Lily and Emmeline and things are fine with them around. They’re not pally the way that Regulus’ brother is with his BOYS, but they’re well on enough in their own brand that they don’t need the comparison, and it all passes by like a flash in her eyes, these formative years. She catches him, one day, dark hair, all curls, the boyish, sarcastic curl of his mouth as she’s out in the middle of a rainy day, huddling beneath a tree as she smokes and she idly waits out the wet, it seems he’s caught too, and she looks at him with the same crooked grin she’s always had. “Reg. It’s been ages.” and it’s kind of her fault isn’t it, but kind of his too.

a starter for @invcntion // regulus

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Could you write a soulmate au where James's soulmark could fit Lily or Sirius and he just always assumed it meant Lily so they're in a relationship even though neither of them really feel it. And then he gets to know Sirius better (maybe he's in Slytherin or they're at uni or something) and he realises that sirius is his soulmate so him and Lily break up and James and sirius live happily even after and so does Lily (with remus or marlene maybe?). Sorry, that's probably really weird and specific.

Sirius wanted to rub at his soulmark, but he knew better than to have a tell like that. So he glared at nothing in particular and let everyone else think what they will. An entire of summer of being isolated enough to touch it when it was unsettled had let him get comfortable, and now he was back at school. With a soulmate that had rejected him at the end of the last term. Oh yeah. It was going to be a great year.

“People are going to think you’re plotting their mass murder if you keep looking that way,” Regulus said beside him. Sirius glanced at him, but he already had his gaze back on his book. “What’s got you in a sour mood anyway?”

“Nothing,” he lied.

It was Regulus though, so he knew better and just scoffed lightly.

“What are you reading that for? I know it’s not a class.”

“Oh?” Regulus said, and tried to hide the content of his book without making it obvious that that’s what he was doing. “And since when did you pay enough attention to your classes to make that kind of judgement?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed the book before Regulus could sneak it all the way into his bag. He raised an eyebrow slightly and gave Reg a look. “Werewolves?” He checked the author. A blood purist arsehole, no surprise, probably spouting fear-mongering bullshit. “You aren’t going to learn anything from this bastard.”

“I know,” Regulus said, snatching the book back and pretending that there wasn’t a blush crossing his cheeks. “It was the only one the library had.”

“The only way you’re going to learn shite about a werewolf is to ask one.”

“Well that would defeat the purpose wouldn’t it.”

“Reg…”

“Shove off,” he grumbled, but it was obviously from embarrassment rather than anger.

“We have a resident werewolf,” he said leadingly, watching with perverse glee as Regulus’s shoulders started to hunch, “who just so happens to be unbonded. Now, the only reason I can think of ickle little Reggie to be interested in werewolves is if he has some sort of clue to--”

Reg slapped a hand over his mouth and glared. He glanced around nervously even though he knew just as well as Sirius that no one could hear them because of the silencing spell they’d put up when they sat. “Fine, okay? I think it might be him.” Slowly, he took his hand, as if daring Sirius to say something stupid so he could cover his mouth again.

“I don’t think reading that book is going to win you any points with him.”

Regulus sighed, turning back to his mostly empty plate. “I wanted to be certain.”

“Are you sure it’s him?”

“Pretty sure. What are the chances I’m going to meet a different werewolf that could be my soulmate?”

Sirius didn’t say anything. Unless Regulus moved to a different country, it was practically guaranteed that his soulmate was Lupin. Well, one of them. “It’s only one of them, right?” If it was both, Regulus’s life just became a lot more difficult.

“What?”

“Your soulmates. Only one of them is a werewolf, right?”

Regulus’s face shuttered even though he knew Sirius didn’t mean anything by it. Mother and Father insisted that Reg only had the one soulmate, that somehow the marks were merged to mean one person even though they obviously referred to two separate entities. Similarly, they pretended that Sirius didn’t have a soulmate at all because it was better than believing it was a Potter. “Seems that way.”

“C’mon Reg, cheer up. You know they’re happier with your marks than mine.”

“Barely.”

That was true enough, though they could by no stretch of the imagination be considered ‘happy’ with either of their sons. Sirius shrugged. “Couple more years and you’ll be in the clear.”

“So will you,” Regulus said, looking at him with a slight frown.

“Heir. They want me to be as miserable as both of them are. If Bella’s soulmate doesn’t turn out to be a suitable match, you know they’re going to throw us together.”

“You’ve always talked about running away,” Regulus reminded him.

Sirius gave his brother a flat look. “If I leave, they’ll just drag you into it, and I doubt you’re offering to leave with me.”

Regulus hesitated. “I might.”

“Not with at least one soulmate in arm’s reach you won’t.” Sirius pat him on the back. “But I appreciate the offer.” It’s not like James wanted him anyways. Where would he go?

~~~

Sirius remembered getting his soulmark, looking at the design on his hip with wonder. It was a Great House crest, he knew, but he didn’t know which one. He could ask Father, couldn’t he? He’d be happy with it.

But when he showed Father, his expression darkened, he drank from his glass quickly, the only thing stopping him from drinking directly from the bottle his sense of pride. He grabbed Sirius’s arm harshly, pulling him close so he was in his face. Sirius leaned back as much as he could, disgusted by the smell, but it wasn’t enough.

“You don’t show anyone else this mark, you don’t tell anyone about it,” he ordered. “If someone asks, you don’t have a mark yet. Understood?”

“Yes sir,” Sirius mumbled, stumbling when Father let go of him. He rubbed at his arm for a moment before turning and running from the study.

Mother knew, but only because Father told her. Sirius himself still didn’t know what it meant yet. Two years later, a fancy party he didn’t want to go to, and he found out. The Potter’s were supposed to be blood traitors.

So what did it mean that Sirius had their crest etched into him for the rest of his life?

~~~

Sirius was eleven, finally out of his parents’ clutches, and excited to meet his soulmate. Purebloods talked, and they especially loved to talk about heirs, even the disgraced ones. James Potter, one of only two living Potters (not including Euphemia, who had married into the family) and the only one unbonded, was his age, and would be in his year at Hogwarts.

It was a dream come true the way they fit together, chatting like they’d always known each other. Then again, Sirius thought, they were two halves of one soul, it made sense that they would get on.

…But then James said something about feeling sorry for Sirius because he didn’t have a soulmate, and Sirius’s heart sank. He’d forgotten that that’s what his parents had told everyone, and with James being from a Noble House, he’d ‘know’ about it.

It might have been salvageable-- because it was a lie and his soulmate was right there!-- but James continued on. “I’ve just met my soulmate. The redhead in our year, you know, Evans? She hates me right now, but she’ll fall for me soon,” he said confidently.

Sirius nodded, too numb to do anything else, and that had been that. When he sat on the stool and the Sorting Hat dropped onto his head, he argued with it.

Not Gryffindor.

It’s where James would be put, he was sure. He wouldn’t be able to survive seven years sharing a dorm with him, he just wouldn’t.

So he fought and fought until the Hat finally called out, “Slytherin!” and he didn’t look at James as he walked to the Slytherin table.

~~~

Sirius tried not to stare at Lupin in shock. He succeeded, but it was a near thing. “Not many people have two soulmates,” he said neutrally, offering him a hand up.

He’d already taken it by the time what Sirius had said sunk in, but then he flinched away, choosing to stay sat on the floor. Sirius let his hand fall by his side, then, when Lupin showed no signs of getting up, he sat criss-crossed on the ground in front of him. Sirius wanted to sigh; it’s not like he meant to run into him on the stairs, crashing both of them down. However, since he had, he couldn’t ignore this new information.

“Does Potter know?” There wasn’t any mistaking the strong outline of a lily flower, and even less mistaking the leo constellation it encased, with-- surprise surprise-- the regulus star bigger than the others. Apparently Miss Evans was also a doe, based on Regulus’s second soulmark. Sirius needed to focus on Reg, that was the more immediate situation on hand.

Lupin glared at him. “You’re not going to tell him.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow, wondering if he could get away with telling Lupin that, as Potter’s soulmate, it was technically his right to inform him that his girlfriend had a soulmate that wasn’t him. Of course then he would have to admit that he’s known all along that James Potter was his soulmate, and that was not a pile of hippogriff shit that he wanted to deal with right now. Or ever. Instead, he asked, “Does Regulus? I don’t know why I’m asking, really, he obviously doesn’t know. If he did, you three would already be together. Rather determined, little Reggie.”

Lupin-- hell Sirius should probably start calling him Remus since he was his brother’s soulmate-- didn’t let his expression waver, but a flash of something went through his eyes. Hope, maybe?

“I wonder if his other soulmate is Lily too,” Sirius mused, purely for Remus’s benefit since Sirius didn’t believe Reg would have two soulmates that weren’t involved with each other. Regulus wasn’t going to take that first leap, unless someone nudged Remus he wouldn’t either, and like hell would he talk to Evans about this even if she was the one most likely to do something with the information. “He’d be happy to hear that, I think.”

Remus snorted. “Happy that he has a muggleborn and a- someone like me for a soulmate?” The stumble in his words reminded Sirius that Remus didn’t actually know they were aware he was a werewolf. Sirius thought for a moment about telling him, but that wouldn’t go well, and besides it wasn’t his problem. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled.”

“Have you ever talked to my brother?” Sirius asked pointedly. “He’s not full of as much blood purist shite as you seem to think.”

“And you?” Remus challenged, but he sounded more curious than accusatory, so that was something. It’s not like they’d fought in all their years at Hogwarts, preferring to simply not talk.

“Until my beloved parents are with the Black ancestors of generations past, the official party line is that I am.” Sirius shrugged with a helpless ‘what can you do’ air.

“And you’re telling me all this why?” he asked suspiciously.

Sirius stared at him flatly before saying, “You’re my brother’s soulmate.” Sirius got to his feet and dust off imaginary dirt from his robes. “Regardless, if you don’t tell him by tonight, I will.” He didn’t wait for a reply before he started walking away. He’d probably tell Evans tomorrow unless Reg could give a good excuse for why he shouldn’t. Even if he did, Sirius might tell her. He was selfish, and honest enough to admit it, if only to himself.

“Wait!”

Sirius paused, half-turning so he could see Remus, who had finally stood up.

He looked around, checking that no one had entered the corridor. “Does he know? About Lily?”

“Not yet. He had his suspicions about you,” Sirius added. See? He was a good person, helping other people find their soulmates even though he’d already said all this, if not in so many words. His previous good mood was rapidly turning to shite. He was happy for Reg-- really-- but that didn’t mean he wanted to be in the thick of things.

“And if I don’t tell him, you will. About both me and Lily.”

“Yep.” Sirius couldn’t deny that Evans having a confirmed soulmate in Remus and Regulus didn’t make him happy for the specific reason of breaking her and James up, but he would have told Regulus about her even if it didn’t benefit him. Knowing that didn’t lessen his building self-hatred.

“If he knows, he’ll tell Lily.”

“Probably,” Sirius lied. Regulus was many things, but brave in his personal life was not one of them. If Remus refused to tell Evans, Sirius would so Reg wouldn’t have to-- he wasn’t about to let his little brother suffer when he didn’t have to. He also didn’t know Remus well enough to trust that he’d take one for Reg. Soulmates or not, they didn’t know each other yet.

Remus chewed on his lip for a minute, before coming to a decision. “Do you know where he is right now?”

“Common room.” Unless he’d randomly decided to ditch his homework in favour of a walk like Sirius, which wasn’t likely.

“Will you take me?”

The only surprise Sirius showed was a single, out of place blink. “Sure.”

In the end, Reg was smiling, although he’d banned Sirius from being there for the conversation with the excuse that he wasn’t part of the relationship and therefore wasn’t needed. Sirius sighed dramatically, like that wasn’t the case, but left them alone. He didn’t have a chance to interrogate them about what they decided because Regulus came in the common room, gave Sirius a quick hug and smile, then left again.

Sirius was left staring after him, wanting desperately to ask if they were going to tell Evans. It was stupid, but he wanted Potter to be… unattached. Sirius couldn’t be with him, but he didn’t want anyone else to be either. They were soulmates, they belonged together. But- but they couldn’t be together. Frustrated with himself and his contradictory thoughts, Sirius stalked out of the room and through the castle until he was at the base of the astronomy tower.

Then he was even more upset.

He would come up here sometimes because it gave him a great view to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch practice, but it was far enough away that they wouldn’t see him. He did it more often when he was younger because now that he was older, he was in more classes with James. They actually interacted now, for classwork if nothing else, and there was nothing else. He had asked him out last year, when his heart was pounding just that bit too hard to be ignored, and gotten a confused ‘no’ in response, like James couldn’t understand why Sirius would even think to ask him. He’d tried to get some emotional distance since then, but clearly hadn’t succeeded if his subconscious took him here. He wanted to punch himself-- emotional distance from a soulmate just wasn’t possible.

Sirius sighed in defeat and trudged up the stairs. If he was already here, he might as well go all the way. He sat on the edge, letting his feet dangle as he leaned back on his hands to look at the sky. It was already past ‘getting dark’, but hadn’t quite reached ‘night’ yet. It was a good time of the day, in Sirius’s opinion, but he was biased-- being able to see in the dark because of his animagus form definitely had to do with it, not that he could tell anyone else that.

He was sat on the edge for- Merlin he didn’t even know. Long enough that it had become fully nighttime. Long enough that when he heard footsteps and turned to look, his body protested so completely that he couldn’t turn his head.

“Sirius?” James. Of all the people that could find him right now, James was probably the worst. Of course the only good option was Regulus, but still.

Sirius thought about staying still, playing it off and talking until James left so he could try to get himself to properly move again, but the chances of him needing to leave quickly were high. Slowly, he leaned forward and stretched his arms up. “James.” He groaned when his back popped back into place. He rubbed at his neck, trying to work out the kinks as he stretched his legs out, flexing to get life back into them.

“How long have you been up here?”

Sirius snapped at him before he could process the concern in his voice, “I wasn’t breaking any rules so sod off.” He rolled his shoulders experimentally, face twisting when it sent shocks of pain through his arms. “What are you doing up here anyway?” It’s not like most people came up here by themselves.

James didn’t say anything, but he didn’t leave. He sat on the floor next to Sirius, not bothering to pretend he wasn’t looking at him. “I have it on good authority I’m an oblivious idiot.”

“Congratulations.” He was not in the mood to have a heart to heart. He wanted a soft surface, a warm blanket, an even warmer drink, and some bloody privacy.

“Lily is soulmates with your brother.”

Was he fucking serious right now? He wanted to talk about that? No. No way in hell. On another day, in a different mood, he’d be able to. He loved talking about Reg, he loved talking to James, and he’d be able to ignore James’s love sickness enough to get through a conversation. Right now though, he would literally rather jump in the dungeons with Blast Ended Skrewts. He started to scoot back from the edge, mentally preparing himself to stand. His arse was sore, and he was sure his hips wouldn’t be doing him any favours. Being around James was too much pain on a regular day. When he was feeling this off-center, this vulnerable? Forget about it. He could not deal with this right now.

“And Remus,” James continued, as if Sirius wasn’t actively trying to leave. “Her soulmark was vague enough that I thought it might be me, but apparently Remus’s isn’t.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why he didn’t just tell me.”

“Maybe because you made heart eyes at your girlfriend any chance you got,” he ground out.

“Maybe,” James said, completely unbothered with the way Sirius was climbing to his feet, getting to his own like he was determined to have this conversation with Sirius no matter what. “Why don’t you date?”

“What?” Sirius asked, so thrown by the subject change that he paused in his escape.

“Plenty of birds are dying to get your attention, but you don’t care. Why?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” he snarled. Gods why couldn’t he be left alone just this once?

James caught Sirius’s wrist before he could leave, but his grip was loose, uncontrolling. “As your soulmate, I think it’s my business,” he said quietly, in a completely un-James way-- Sirius had only ever heard him speak proudly, confidently.

He froze, eyes wide and feeling like he couldn’t breathe.

“I used to think it might be Lily,” he continued, in that same, soft voice, “we both had vague enough marks and if we looked at each other the right way, it almost worked. We never liked each other enough for that to work for long. We were basically broken up when Remus and Regulus talked to her earlier, it just needed to be official.”

Sirius tried to speak, but swallowed several times before he could. “I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

“‘Bright star’. That’s what my mark says.” His thumb gently stroked the skin of Sirius’s wrist. “Do you remember when we first met?” He waited until Sirius nodded to continue. “We fit. But when you got put in Slytherin, I was young and stupid enough to think it meant we couldn’t be. I’ve never felt like that with anyone else. Have you?”

Sirius was trembling but shook his head in affirmation. Everything he’d ever wanted to hear James say, was being said, but… “I have responsibilities. To my family.”

James looked heartbroken when Sirius slipped his arm out of James’s hand.

“And so do you.”

As he walked down the spiralling stairs, his steps piercing and echoing, his chest tightened. In all his years of imagining, he’d never turned James down when he asked. When he pictured it happening, Sirius told his parents to bugger off and he left with James, running away like Reg had mentioned.

Sirius was halfway to the Slytherin dorms, barely keeping himself together by the seams. It wasn’t until he heard noise in the corridor behind him that he realised he couldn’t deal with anyone like this, wouldn’t be able to keep a blank face, let alone pretend he was fine.

“Sirius!” James stopped in front of him, clearly having been running. Sirius wondered if he’d run all the way from the tower. “Last year-- you asked me on a date. Where was family responsibility then?”

Sirius blinked dumbly at him. He remembered? “It was a mistake,” he said slowly, like his body was too busy trying not to cry to accomplish anything else, even so practiced a lie.

“No, me saying no was a mistake. Sirius… give me another chance? Please?”

Unbidden, tears started slipping down his cheeks. “That’s easy for you to say,” he croaked.

James tentatively hugged him, holding him more completely when Sirius folded into him, his head resting  in the crook of James’s neck. “I’ll help you. Whatever you need, whatever I can do, I will. We could be great together. I think I can make you happy, let me try.”

Sirius let out a wet laugh, but it sounded (and felt) more like a sob. “Yeah? And when my parents kick me out?”

“You’ll always be welcome in my House. You and Regulus both.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

James kissed the side of his head, and Sirius found himself feeling a little better for it all the while wishing it was more. “You better.”