#And the inherent love and possibilities of Polyamory

[averagefungus]

A review of the Dumb Jokes Jello kept out of the Sky Pirate Girlfriends video

The Valuan Armada is only allowed to attack one place one time, they get one shot. They nearly kill Vyse and his friends twice but never actually succeed because they completely where the base they lived at was completely.

Drachma is every beast to exist, including being Vyrsas older brother by implication of being a Gigas. (I give the funny moments not the context)

Vigoro is hated by every single person on both the sides of good and evil, and also being the only person in the entire world who intentionally deadnames Vyrsa. The elders reveal their biggest regret wasnt creating super weapons capable of destroying civilizations, but that they never killed Vigorors ancestors.

The history behind “Samuses Husband” is revealed, I don’t remember who it was that made the Oc of Samus’ Husband but it’s fucking incredible (no he does not have a name besides ‘Samuses Husband’, I believe his characterization and origin are told in the first VOD)

Belleza continually disguising herself in increasingly obvious ways, with Team-Rocket tier disguises after the events with Bellena

The increasing absurdity in Aika and Fina buying a ship with 10,000 gold in only a week on a waitresses Salary

Enrique gets sick easily on boats, Jello jokes that Fina doesn’t know what vomit is, so when we actually see Finas home everyone immediately is disgusted, and then it gets INFINITELY worse due to the worst dungeon design ever conceived.

Ramirez and Galcian are extremely gay for each other, to the point of pet names and dramatically trying to kill others out of rage when one perishes. The Dudes Rock to the Trios Polyamory

Andddddddd Piccolo

[ironunderstands]

Not a question, just very happy it's not just me loving IP3 (or trans Ratio for that matter). Yap away on both

Ugh I love them both so much

Most of my headcanons are when I find something to be better and/or more interesting than it is in canon, or something that’s a great extension of canon, and that’s exactly what trans Ratio is to me.

It takes his already present insecurities and squares them, as now the doctor has to contend with not just being a SMART enough man, but being a smart enough MAN, and adding that extra layer of misery and complexity is just so delightful.

By taking a character racked by self doubt and adding another layer to it, like Ratio being trans, you complicate his current insecurities and give new perspectives to look at them from.

Like in canon Ratio exercises so much because he wants to be the most perfect, best version of himself and has been doing it since a very young age (middle school).

But then you add him being trans to that, and suddenly he’s not just combating being perceived as not good enough, he’s combating being perceived entirely, attempting to try and get others to view him the way he really is, and attempting to live up to whatever masculine ideal that would push away his dysphoria, something prominent within his life from a young age.

I’ve kinda dived into this within my fics about it, but I like the idea that Ratio keeps this a secret from everyone- and I mean everyone. He already doesn’t live up to his own expectations of himself, so to have the rest of the galaxy find out that he doesn’t live up to their expectations of him either (ie being a cis man I mean you cannot tell me there aren’t like hundreds of people in universe begging for his uh- yeah), it would crush him.

I mean considering how guarded he is already, adding another thing to hide behind that alabaster mask would be fun, even if I think Ratio is likely at least a decade post-op + post-transition, so it’s not like he has to bind or anything, but the threat is still there. Especially considering his well known love of baths- imagine if he avoided the public baths at his home planet (considering how heavily Greek/Roman inspired Ratio is), and how that might affected him growing up, or just the tendency of shirtlessness in general.

There’s just a lot of possibilities and intricacies to it that makes me really like this particular headcanon, and it will always be canon in my heart haha. I have some more silly things behind it, like me wanting to give Aventio and Ratiopaz biological kids because it would be cute, or just the inherent joy of the big buff guy actually being the trans one rather than who you would expect it to be/who it’s stereotypically made as- Aventurine, as I like when characters have traits you don’t expect them to possess.

I also tend to dislike Aventurine being made ftm because he’s implied to be an SA survivor and rep for amab victims is already kinda abysmal so I don’t like taking it away, also I just think it’s boring tbh, at least for me it just doesn’t interest me.

Trans Topaz is a whole other discussion, personally I think she’s mtnb, and more femme presenting (I’d make her use she/they in my fics it’s just pronoun swapping when writing polyamory is miserable and anybody who’s ever written it can attest to that 😭, it’s there in spirit I promise!)

I honestly don’t have deep reasons behind this one, it’s just pure vibes. Someone was like, “Topaz gives nonbinary” once on here and I’m like yeah, yeah she does 😭. She reminds me of Childe a lot and I also view him as nonbinary so she’s kinda in a similar boat.

I think she’s very motherly but like in the way Mother Nature is if that makes sense? Mother is mothering but she’s also a creature tm* and certified tax collecting humanity loving entity. Also I have a close friend who’s a trans woman and Topaz reminds me of her so like, bam ur trans now lol (hi Alice if ur seeing this).

As for Aventiopaz, I fear I’d need a whole other post dedicated to why I like them. You guys know why I like Aventio, Avenpaz also require a whole other yap session, and Ratiopaz is the best rarepair ever fight me. Generally I like it because it’s really sweet, the dynamic is hilarious, they are the power trio of all time, they have great gameplay synergy, and their designs complement each other a lot- being primary colors and all.

I also enjoy their individual unique relationships to the IPC and how that might affect their interactions with one another, both in canon and in my brain. Moreover the trio of coworkers who are well known around the office for a) getting the job done and b) being absolutely obnoxious around one another (in a good way) is incredibly fun and I enjoy the idea of all the shenanigans they would get up to.

Perhaps my next Aventiopaz fic would be them going on a mission together or something, as I definitely want to write another one, and also update my slideshow of the parents au, I’ve just been so busy and a bit unmotivated 😭 so hopefully I can get to that soon

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Look the real reason so many book fans are mad about the wheel of time adaptation instead of having a great time with it regardless of changes, is that the production is putting a very strong focus on updating the worldbuilding and characters in specific ways, as well as changing individual events in favor of a more streamlined way to make The Same character beats happen.

Because this is an adaptation to film, and of course they have to change stuff. Come on people. Be realistic. You know how long the series is.

And there are parts of the book series that Do need updating. RJ was trying to be as progressive as he could in a lot of his approach to the series, but what was progressive in the 90s is not as progressive now so of course they are updating it. If you didn’t think this show was gonna have queer people and polyamory then sorry about it. Dear Mr. Jordan was Really Good at writing romantic relationships between women when he thought he was just writing friendships, he did it A Couple times. I would Bet Money on Avilayne becoming canon. This series is being created by a queer showrunner he is absolutely doing a queer reading of these books. Which I am Very Here For.

And he is doing a reading, and changing things. Which again, is Necessary. The book series is Super long and they have 8 seasons to do it in. They’re gonna change individual events to make sure that the main characters go through all the necessary character beats. And you’re just being recalcitrant if you can’t admit that season two Rules in a lot of ways. They are still making sure every important character has all their moments. And each individual episode has focused on some of the most powerful themes of the Entire book series. Including the inherent tragedies inherent to channelers such as: being cut off from the one power in various ways through shielding and stilling, having their own control of the one power taken over by others through weaves and ter’angreal, and living extended lifespans and thus leaving behind their loved ones. They’re doing a Very good job of keeping to the core themes and character beats and also changing stuff around to make the story work on a shorter time frame.

Also they’re working really hard to make sure Every character is as well fleshed out as possible. Meaning that yes, a lot of focus is being spent so far on the other main pov characters and all of the important aes sedai who will matter in the conflicts to come. That’s a good thing. Sorry to the people who only cared about the ta’veren boys or whatever but RJ wrote a ton of interesting and powerful women and they’re all getting their Due in this adaptation that is a feature not a bug.

It’s not like there isn’t stuff to be improved in the original! There is a huge chunk of the wheel of time that a lot of fans refer to as the slog! Where most of the main characters are separated and the plot is barely moving so some characters only show up in like two chapters of a single book, because there are so many individual things happening, before the plot starts moving faster again towards the end of the series. (And then there’s the crimes committed by Mr. Sanderson on the last three books but we’re not going to talk about that right now.

Which personally I would disagree that the slog is where the series is least enjoyable. The section I usually skip when rereading is the first two books, #having a great time right now actually with the show skipping through as much of the minutiae of books I and II as they can. The wheel of time is not a perfect series and Robert Jordan kept trying to finish it in one to three books at first and the first two books suffer as a result.

If you stopped reading in books one or two PLEASE just try to make it to three Trust Me. Or just watch the show and then read the battle of falme in book II and then read book III. You will appreciate books one and two more on a reread after all the stuff he does bring up there has really paid off. And also just have fun watching your faves be more happy than they are in later books ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The show is not Trying to be the books and frankly I’m glad it’s not! This is another turning of the wheel, another version of events, a parallel universe to the randland of the books. And I think they’re doing a pretty brilliant job of telling a version of that story so far this season.

Adaptations will change things. That’s a good thing. Judge it on executing the ideas it is bringing up and staying true to the core of the character arcs and themes of the original. And frankly it’s enhancing a lot of character arcs right now. There are many things that I think the show is already doing better than the books did tbh (Min, Liandrin, Selene, making Perrin spend less time dithering about the Wolf Stuff, speeding up Mat’s healing from the dagger so my best boy gets more time to shine)

Adaptations are transformative works. To lesser and greater degrees they reinterpret a work through a different artistic lens and medium. The changes are not bad because they are changes. Judge it on the execution of the story it’s actually telling instead of a close comparison to the books. And they are keeping as true to the books as they can whether you acknowledge that or not.

If you’re a person who reads fanfiction but you can’t judge a film adaptation for what it is instead of what it’s not then please try Slightly harder.

And if you’re just mad that it’s all queer and polyamorous now and the boys aren’t the only main characters then die mad I guess. I will continue having a pretty great time watching this show chock full of extremely powerful (and sometimes evil) women. I think RJ would have liked it tbh.

[mothidocandart]

I don't even go here anymore but I'm writing a shitty essay about the effect of polyamory on the media its in and how it's portrayed and I was talking about Marcy from Amphibia, and it got me thinking...

Does Marcy think she's inherently betraying Anne and Sasha by having feelings for them?

I was thinking about the prom poster from Olivia and Yunan, and the fact that it doesn't offer a chance to say no really mirrors how she brought them to Amphibia and then tried to explore other worlds with Andrias and bring them along, and how they were made because she didn't give them a choice or ask them first. Most notably, because she never thought they would say no.

However, the fact that the SJMS logo also morphs into a heart when Sasha and Anne combine into one and reject her is also another evidence of this love = betrayal idea. She loves the both of them, and because she loves the both of them, she does things that inherently betray them, but doesn't quite realize why they feel betrayed. At this point, unless I'm remembering wrong, Marcy doesn't have a strong grasp on why Anne and Sasha feel the way they do, and strongly associates her want for them to be together with them being angry with her. She doesn't realize that they're not mad about the fact that she cares about them and wants them to be together, they're mad about the fact that she took away their autonomy.

By loving them, by doing things that show that she loves them, she is betraying them. And therefore, her feelings for them are bad.

EDIT: OH. NOT TO MENTION. Maybe she feels that the only way that Anne and Sasha could possibly be with her in the way that she wants is IF she took away their autonomy. She feels like they'd never want her otherwise. Screaming and cryin

[sophia-sol]

whoops I drafted this for crossposting but then never got round to it - just discovered the draft while cleaning up some files!

two question/answer memes* I did over on mastodon! reposting here so you can see my answers too :)

*shipping meme and fic-writing meme.

Shipping meme

1. three shipping tropes I love:

bodyswap, fake dating/marriage, sex pollen/fuck or die, inter-species communication, timeloop, whoops that's five but I'm not deleting any!

2. three shipping tropes I don't love:

soulmates, omegaverse, royalty au (I usually see that in the context of shipping so I think it still counts as a shipping trope!)

3. One emotional aspect of a ship that always gets you:

when you can tell how much they know each other on a deep level, and nothing they see of the other's full self puts them off!

OR when they're so different that there's no hope of them ever managing true and full understanding but they care about each other so much that they try anyway

4. One physical aspect of a ship that always gets you:

I'm fairly far in the direction of aphantasia; I simply do not picture my ships having physical existences because I can't picture them period!

anyway what I want my ships to have physically is for them to have the things that those characters in specific would be super into

5. Multiship or Monoship?

you can convince me of nearly any ship! me shipping one thing by no means stops me from simultaneously being into like five other ships that conflict with the first one. each ship has different dynamics to explore and it's fun to spend time thinking about all of them!

6. Rare pairs or Mainstream?

both! ship all the things!! I often start in one of a fandom's bigger ships because it's what's there to dive into, but over time I start hungering for variety and investigate all the possibilities

7. Polyamory or Monogamy?

either, both, whatever makes sense for the characters and ships in question!

8. If the ship is physical, reversible or not?

truly not something I have strong feelings about in any particular direction, shrug

9. Do you always have romantic ships for fandoms?

honestly…..almost any characters I'm into romantically shipping, I would also be into platonically shipping, unless that would be wildly out of character for them. I just want them to have intense feelings about each other! the specifics of those feelings are less important.

10. How important is the sexual part (if any) of your ship?

not a big deal to me! unless it is obvious from canon that sex is important to these characters, in which case, it's important to me because it's part of writing them in-character

11. Opinion on platonic ships?

love em! I like stories about people's relationships with other people, whatever shapes those relationships takes

12. List 3 ships you currently love:

I love so many it's ridiculous. I am into the major ships of all my current fandoms as well as plenty of other ships, but let me name three rare ones I like, just for fun:

jin guangyao/su she

ling wen/shi qingxuan

ning yingying/liu mingyan

13. List 5 OTPs from past fandoms:

chosen somewhat at random from the vast numbers I could pull out of my fandoms of yore!

marcus/esca

budur/hayat/kamar

methos/everyone

elisabeth/death

valjean/fauchelevent

14. Opinion on the importance of marriage?

not something I have any particular attachment to for my ships, one way or another. if it's something the characters would place high importance on, then that's great, but it's not something I feel any need to lead characters in the direction of if they're not already going there themselves

15. Opinion on OC kids?

I'm not personally into kidfic or other narratives that are inherently focused on themes of reproduction, pregnancy, parenthood, or the wonders of children/childhood/babies. OC kids are particularly likely to be props in a story that's about those themes, so they're a flag that a fic is likely not going to be for me!

fic writing meme

1. Fave genre to write:

I find it the most fun to write humour, I think, but I don't actually do it very often; only the occasional fic idea I want to write actually lends itself to being humour. I think a lot of my fics are…..idk, literary fiction that happens to be in an sff setting? focusing on style, character, relationships, and theme.

2. Preferred tense and pov:

strong preference for past tense as my default, but present tense can sometimes be useful for certain effects - I just don't like to use it unless I have good reason to!

for pov I like to mix it up, because different ones can serve different purposes. first, second, and third, but also within third doing either limited or omniscient. I like experimenting with the different things you can achieve with pov! fandom house style is limited third so I do default to that, but I think I have written fics in all the possible varieties of pov!

3. Tag you've used most:

Post-canon, with 5 uses out of 60 works on my ao3. You can tell I don't tag profligately - I mostly use tags as a way to tell readers who see the fic what kind of fic it is, rather than trying to draw in more eyes by having my fic show up in every possible relevant tag. I'm just not that interested in that style of marketing for myself I guess, for better or for worse!

4. What inspires you to write:

A number of intersecting factors! it's fun and interesting creative work, it's a way to engage with thinking about the fandoms and characters I love in a more structured way that lets me dig deeper, it's a way of regularly connecting with my cheerleader verity, it feels good to finish a thing and post it online for accolades, it's a way of connecting with others in fandom and being excited about our shared fandom together, and probably more!

you'll note that none of this is the type of "I am just driven to write" or "I have so many ideas I simply have to get out" that I often see from people who identify as writers. I don't think I'm an obligate writer, but it is a hobby that brings me lots of joy and pleasure regardless, and I love having it in my repertoire of hobbies!

5. One line from a current WIP:

you're getting three whole paragraphs! :D

Bored and suspicious, Luo Binghe glanced through the memorial he held, ignoring the watchful attention of those around him. His reading skills were developed under the neglectful tutelage of a sect who did not appreciate the potential of the student whom fate had given them. Five subsequent years in the Endless Abyss provided few opportunities for practice. Luo Binghe was a slow reader, ashamed of it, and angry at being so ashamed. This added to the forbidding impression he gave to the anxious northern official. After looking at the paper in his hands for long enough only to take in a few phrases here and there, Luo Binghe's eyes snapped up again, glittering and dangerous. The memorial said something about a mating season, he thought. The location of the ritual seemed to be the problem at hand. Tedious business to a ruler who was used to focusing on duels and battles and power struggles, and vital in the working life of a career bureaucrat. “Why are you bothering me with this?” Luo Binghe asked, his voice soft.

6. Trope you want to write:

It's unconscionable that I have not yet written any time loop or time travel shenanigans in my entire decades-long fandom career

7. Favourite character to write

I like to mix it up, I would get bored writing the same character(s) regularly, but I do keep coming back to shen qingqiu of late - I think because the disconnect between his self-perception and his actions is enormously fun

8. How you choose your titles:

mostly: sighing, despairing, looking through the fic to see if there's a short phrase I can use that's thematically relevant, seeing if I can find lyrics I like in a song or poem that's thematically relevant, asking friends for help

9. Describe your writing style:

hmmm a tougher question! I would say - heavy on creating vibes and on interiority, precise and careful about choosing just the right words, and tending over-much towards very long multi-clause sentences. flowy rather than high-tension or rhythmic.

but I might be too close to my writing to describe it accurately! I'd love to hear how others would describe my writing style!

10. A comment you treasure:

one fic I wrote eons ago got a comment from a person who was deeply moved and grateful because they saw themself and a major struggle in their life reflected in my fic in a way they had never seen before. that comment has really stuck with me!

11. Favourite scene you've written:

I am extremely fond of the scene from Habitat, Behaviour where bingqiu transition from peaceful cozy homelike vibes of sqq writing an angry letter to a publisher while lbh brings him more paper and snacks, to a scene that's extremely sexual with sqq in lbh's lap while lbh hand-feeds him and escalates from there, and sqq has no idea how or why this counts as sex because lbh's pillar isn't involved at all. meanwhile lbh is sobbing into sqq's neck over how amazing it is. (sqq loves it too.)

I am really proud of the physicality I managed in this scene, the groundedness in sensation and tangible presence of things, as well as the conveyance of what sqq is actually feeling vs what you hear of his thoughts from his close pov!

12. Fic that best represents you:

hmmmm, probably Artifice and Affectation. from the pov of a secondary character who's not a man and who doesn't get much fandom attention, gen with ambiguously shippy vibes, About Gender thematically but not explicitly, interested in interrogating structures of power, doesn't actually have a plot.

13. A fun fact about a fic you wrote:

do I even have any fun facts? if I haven't written it down somewhere I've probably forgotten it!

goes to check my old fic notes

oh ok! so while I was writing precious treasure I was very aware of what I felt was needed from each side of the foursome to turn them into a viable ship from the state they start the fic at, so these were the things I had to be sure to make happen.

sqh needs: to be able to complain at lbh without being nervous of how he'll respond

lbh needs: to feel like he could be fussed over in a caretaking way by sqh

mbj needs: to find something in lbh that he can respect

sqq needs: nothing, he's soooo gay for everyone in pidw plus the creator of pidw, he's easy to get on board

14. How you handle writer's block:

I put the fic aside for the day and come back the next day. if I keep on not coming back to it, I try to think about whether there's something I feel unsure of in terms of where the fic is trying to go, and I either think it through on my own or talk it through with a friend, to get myself unstuck. if that doesn't feel like it's what's going on, I just accept that there are factors in my life that make writing harder for the time being and I let it go, because trying to force writing when it doesn't want to happen doesn't give me what I want out of this hobby!

15. Hardest thing for you to write:

in the past I would have said dialogue but I think I have really levelled up on that! I suppose now what I find hardest is plot. I'm working on it though!

16. Dialogue you loved writing:

every single line from the aquarium hobbyist discord fic!!! so much fun, and rereading it now, I still think I'm very funny :D

17. Your planning process:

Not a huge amount of pre-planning, usually! once I have the general concept of the fic, I dive into writing, and discover as I go whether more planning is needed. Sometimes I keep an outline of the fic in a separate doc as I write - a retroactive outline, showing what I've done so I can see what structure I'm creating. Sometimes I talk through the concept with a friend to figure out what I'm actually interested in exploring with the concept. Sometimes I get partway in and realize I don't know where I'm going and need to do some brainstorming on that front. But sometimes the concept is all the planning I need and I just….write.

I do usually end up having a notes document for any fic that's longer than 1-2 k words though, with little thoughts to remind myself about what my intentions are for the fic, or noting things I want to keep in mind as I write, and that doc gets added to and altered as I go. But the kinds of notes I keep in there vary fic by fic!

18. Your editing process:

I do a fair amount of editing as I go, both editing the bit I'm writing as I write it, and semi-regularly going back to the already-written parts of the fic to tweak when I have more distance from what I wrote and more sense of where the fic is going. When I'm done a draft I give the whole thing another read, fixing anything that stands out to me, then I send it to beta. I do another round of editing based on my beta's comments, and then I consider the fic done and I post it!

19. Your favourite writing tip:

(caveat: not all advice is right for everyone, ignore if not right for you!)

it's been big for me to have a cheerleader! a friend to send snippets of fic to as I write it, who will say encouraging things!

some reasons:

I get accountability, because they're expecting fic updates, so I don't get as caught up in the executive dysfunction failure to initiate task

I maintain a sense of perspective, that my fic is good and worth continuing to work on

Praise as a form of critique is under-valued! Having someone react excitedly to my writing as I go tells me which things I'm doing well and encourages me to do more of that! It can help me see things in my writing that I wouldn't have seen without that outside perspective! It motivates me to hone skills to do more of that better and on purpose!

I have a friend who is invested in my story to talk things through with when I run into issues!

AND MORE.

A++++ would recommend.

20. Your current writing goals:

keep having fun writing :)

[ilistentogirlinred]

a bunch of ideas for essays i have

ESSAY IDEAS:

fandom and parasocial relationships with celebs

primarily musicians

KPOP!!!

shipping

how this effects the idols themselves

and the fans perception of idols

“delulu”

competitive nature

groups

positions

obsession

racism

infantilisation

“maknaes”

lisa, jungkook

ONE DIRECTION

fucking larries

obsession

FITTH HARMONY

SWIFTIES

the idolisation

white feminism?

performative activism

NOT SEEING CELEBS AS REAL PEOPLE WITH FEELINGS!!!

mysoginy in fandom culture

internalised mysogyny

mysogyny in the works themselves

how that is internalised

the prevalence of m/m ships

patriarchy!

boo

KPOP!!!

shipping

how this effects the idols themselves

+ their friendships with each other

and the fans perception of idols

homophobia in the industry

“delulu”

competitive nature

groups

positions

obsession

racism

non fans who dislike the industry/fans

infantilisation

“maknaes”

lisa (crazy horse)

jungkook (seven, etc)

DEBUTING ACTUAL CHILDREN

THOSE ARE CHILDREN WTF DUDE

SHE IS BARELY 14

SHE IS 13

SHE WAS 12 WHEN SHE WAS ON THE SHOW

possible human rights violations?

work hours

neglect

mental health issues

suicides

beomhan therapy video (managers)

homophobia in the industry

if an idol comes out, fans will treat it as “proof” that their ship is “canon”

or will just be outright homophobic

FANSERVICE

its not gay but…

influence of fandom on modern media

queerbaiting/queercoding to attract an audience

destiel

teen wolf

bbc sherlock

tropes

enemies to lovers

DONE WRONG

queer rep in media

queerbaiting/coding to attract viewers

supernatural, sherlock

destiel, johnlock

teen wolf

queer coding in disney!

accidental?

LUCA!!!

cultural differences?

anime

YOI, SK8, Haikyuu

Naruto

superwholock -> ourgoodshadows

early 2000s/2010s YA dystopia plague, ya books in general

hunger games

marketing

movies

divergent!!!

bad

no second half of the third one lmao

maze runner

technically first!

LOVE TRIANGLES

twilight (either read or consult ms elloy, mya, etc)

hunger games

“big strong guy” vs “childhood friend”

predictable

repetitive

c’mon guys make it gay for once

try a conga line love triangle

that resolves itself with polyamory?

SPORTS ANIME

why is it so popular?

fandom, duh.

ok but why?

easy. gay anime boys

why is sports anime so gay?

power of friendship?

close bonds between people of the same gender

lack of characters from the opposite gender so less heterosexuality and f/m ships

but thats fandomy

the inherent homoeroticism of sharing a locker room

referring back to friendship/close bonds

BLUE LOCK

HOLY CRAP BLUE LOCK

its gayer than haikyuu but there’s no power of friendship really

there are very close bonds and strange definitions of attraction tho

bachisagi, reonagi, ryusae

REONAGI SHOUJO SPINOFF

attraction -> obsession

soccer -> dream -> lack of care about self

RYUSAE FUCKED UP IDEA OF (and perception) ATTRACTION

soccer = attraction, bond, romance/sex, etc.

BACK TO HAIKYUU

rivalries

rivalry -> close friendship

mirrors enemies to lovers very slightly

tis the power of friendship

power of friendship combined with coming of age?

YUURI ON ICE!

the canon gays

SK8 the infinity

queer coding?

QUEERCODING IN ANIME

is it all perceived and unintended due to differences in cultural upbringing?

possibly but the undertones are still very much there

maybe its censorship? who knows

killugon -> possibly find sources

the homoerotic queer-coded rivalry or friendship

established from the start

sasunaru, kagehina, bakudeku, renga, killugon, fucking soukoku, etc

also tsukkiyama, matchablossom, leopika, etc

SOUKOKU (and the rest of bsd)

the irl authors - were they queer?

FIND SOURCES!!!

[misc-obeyme]

thoughts on a lucifer and solomon love triangle? or one with lucifer and diavolo?

Oh no, anon, you have summoned the angst muse.

Because both of those scenarios sound like pain and suffering to me.

Lucifer and Solomon have a very interesting relationship and I love when they interact with each other. But everything would be ten times more intense if they were in a love triangle with MC. Because in the end, MC has to choose, right? Assuming we're not going the polyamory route (and I've talked about this before, but yeah I don't think it'd work too well with these two), MC would inevitably have to reject one of them. Can you imagine the relationships between them all after that choice?

Love triangles are inherently a competition - two people are competing for the love of the same person. Lucifer already doesn't like Solomon. He obviously trusts him enough to send MC to him if he thinks Solomon can help, but otherwise I would say Lucifer generally thinks of Solomon as shady and possibly even manipulative. Is he those things? Irrelevant. Lucifer thinks he is. On the flip side, I think Solomon considers Lucifer to be powerful and possibly dangerous. I wouldn't say Solomon dislikes Lucifer, but I do think he's wary of him. It's more of a respect for his power kind of thing. Throw the competition for MC's love into that and you've turned them into straight up enemies. They stay civil for MC's sake, knowing that in the end, it's MC who will make the choice. And that once MC does, the other person in the scenario has essentially lost MC for good.

The interesting thing about these two as well is that I think they'd both react to rejection in a similar way. Lucifer would throw himself into paperwork and Solomon would throw himself into magical research. Though I think it'd be more difficult for Solomon to deal with. Lucifer can distract himself with his brothers, but Solomon is essentially alone. If MC rejected him, he hasn't just lost someone he's in love with. He's lost his apprentice, his friend, the only other human in the Devildom, likely the only person who has made him feel anything in a long, long time. Sure he has Simeon and the others, too, but we all know it isn't quite the same. And maybe they could help him through it, but he would isolate himself and I think it'd be hard for them.

Lucifer and Diavolo on the other hand... these two are like BFFs to the point where a bunch of us ship them. A polyamory situation with these two would work, one of the few that I think Lucifer could manage. They already love and trust each other. BUT if we consider the love triangle necessity of competition, it's going to get really sad really quickly. Because while Lucifer and Diavolo would both absolutely do everything they could to win MC's heart, they would know they were breaking their best friend's heart in the process. It might tear them apart. It might completely ruin their relationship. It might not.

I kind of see it as, MC makes a choice and the other person accepts and respects it. But they no longer have the close relationship they used to. For instance, if MC chose Diavolo, every time Lucifer saw them together, he would feel the pain of having lost MC, who he likely still loves deeply. Lost MC to Diavolo, someone he also deeply loves. Seeing them happy together should make him happy, but all it does is hurt him. And he would be upset about the fact that he couldn't be happy for them, too. And the thing about all that is that Diavolo and MC would know. They would know he was hurting every time he sees them. So I think they'd just naturally drift apart, Lucifer avoiding them and Diavolo not inviting Lucifer around as much to spare him the pain. (This would work the same way if MC chose Lucifer, too.)

So you know, my thoughts are mostly tragedy all around. Of course, the solution would be to have a love interest for the person who gets rejected. Someone who ends up being even better for them than the person they lost. So for instance, if MC chose Solomon and left Lucifer to find someone else, he might be okay if he ended up with Diavolo. Maybe it even makes him realize he's been in love with Diavolo all along... etc. That's really the only way to resolve a love triangle without leaving someone in pain.

Once again I'm out here writing essays lol. Anyway, these are just my thoughts, but that's what I think it'd be like.

[1yyyyyy1]

what do you think about poly? i hate it because i don't think its possible to actually be in love with 2 people without pair bonding more with one, or value someone while having sex with someone else. i feel like it's a cover for how shitty men and some women are at commitment. a part of me believes men don't feel true love or intimacy, but admitting that only makes me feel like i'm validating them when they say they can't commit and it's "unrealistic" but it's really just being a good partner.

I like not to think about it :) Everything I've learned about polygamy has been against my will… I distinctly remember a male on Reddit describe his experience with polygamy, in which he spoke about having a "polygamous mindset" for a lack of a better word. He was in a committed relationship with a monogamous woman and chose monogamy because he liked her as a person (I'm guessing polygamy was a hard boundary for her). He said that, aside from the pull to be with multiple people, him being polygamous meant that he was genuinely happy with his partner seeing (and sleeping with) other people and enjoying it; it didn't sound like he was describing a fetish and it was in general different from the idea of polygamy I previously had in mind. It stood out to me because he was mostly talking about his attitude towards his girlfriend partnering others and not his personal gain, so I could see how it could be a mutual dynamic between compatible partners. This kind of changed my opinion on what polygamy could be like if it involved emotionally mature and self-aware people, even if didn't make me understand the appeal any better.

Generally speaking, I don't have a strong opinion on polygamy (or polyamory) because I prefer to concern myself with the things that are for me. I can imagine polygamy working out for people, even if only within the confines of a thought experiment, so I'm not going to dismiss it on the premise that it is inherently dysfunctional. I'm not going to dismiss it in favor of monogamy either because I don't view monogamy as a sign of adjustment. Some people are into monogamy because they are obsessive and controlling, and monogamous partnerships are still notorious for cheating and turning into an "open relationship". I'm less and less inclined to be picking a side as people always seem to find a way to pervert whatever it is I would be supportive of... It is possible to stand up for your preferences without disparaging the other option — and risking being wrong in the process. The reason I would only ever consider monogamy is very simple — I don't like sharing my life on a profoundly personal level with multiple people. My overall personality traits coincide in a way that makes this unfeasible for me. I am very private about my life experiences and I would not share them with someone who is not fully invested. I also see relationships as a learning experience, and since I like getting to the bottom of things I would be genuinely distressed if me getting closer with someone were diluted by some other person's contribution. This may sound like a self-absorbed approach to something as reciprocal as a relationship, but laying down the precise terms on which you enter one makes it impossible for people to sway your opinion in a direction that doesn't benefit you. It doesn't matter to me if my standards are framed as "a desire for ownership" or "controlling", which are all common accusations made against monogamy. The point is that I would never consent to a relationship (let alone sexual contact) with a person who is not willing to match my commitment and views on privacy, it would violate my personal boundaries and I am better off not entering a relationship altogether until my conditions are met.

I would argue that there is an issue with commitment on people's part, but I would attribute it to something other than a specific relationship model. What I see is that most relationships are formed out of convenience, and revolve around reproduction, shared finances and sexual gratification. The reason I believe this results in commitment issues is because these are all non-specific traits most functional adults can perform and provide. There is not much ground for personalized bonding, and this approach can result in indecisiveness about which partner to commit to (if at all). This, of course, can also lead to multiple partners being a valid option at the cost of them being entirely replaceable... To answer the question the second time — I do think that relationships that involve multiple people can be a sign of poor commitment and superficial bonding.

As for men's inability to love, I don't see acknowledgement as endorsement and I don't understand why it is such a common notion. My negative assessment of people is there for me to have an understanding of what I am dealing with, not to validate said people. In acknowledging that men are incapable of commitment, I choose to allocate my efforts to someplace else because attempting to change a person's behavior is a waste of my time. I don't feel responsible for men's stance on faithfulness; I believe them to be capable enough to live in accordance with their convictions regardless of outside influence. I know for a fact that no amount of external validation would make me cheat on my partner, so it is not a stretch to extend these expectations to other people, including men.

[dogstarblues]

in my experience, people being unable to fathom or deal with polyamory has little to do with maturity and everything to do with life experiences. sometimes people can unpack jealousy, sometimes they cant. but jealousy isnt a monstrous thing. possessiveness can be unlearned but polyamory is not as inherently liberatory as some people think. its great. i love being a relationship anarchist. but its totally possible for monogamous people to deconstruct the nuclear family with close involvement in the community. anyway, some people just cant deal with polyamory and it isnt always jealousy or possessiveness thats causing that. and you need to deal with the fact that you will encounter people who just cant do it and you have to live in a world where people just cant do it.

[anarchohobbitist]

look at this book i found at my local radical bookstore???? i am so excited????

from the back - “If aromantic people primarily desire friendship or nonromantic partnerships over romance, then how can they practice any recognized form of non-monogamy? And polyamory — the practice of having multiple intimate, loving relationships — is just for romantic people, right?

The truth is, being aromantic or asexual usually means there’s an emphasis on friendship, which is inherently non-monogamous. Being aromantic means loving a bit differently, but in ways that matter just as much.

Knowledge about these experiences and identities can help with clarifying relationship needs, bringing up new possibilities and better choices for relationship formation, and for turning friendship into something more than a simple throwaway stand in for some potential romantic partner. Communities built on friendship rather than competition (and let’s face it, competitiveness is usually encouraged when it comes to romance) would be more cohesive, less prone to the power dynamics that lead to systemic abuse, and can actually cultivate true agency.

There are plenty of books out there already for straight, white, romantic folks. This is the book the Black queer aros never got.

‘Love is not my motivation; it is my state of being. You cannot tempt me with the promise of your scraps when I feed myself.’”

[birlwrites]

Helloo!! Uve sometimes described barty as potentially being a romantic partner to regulus and so i was wondering what made u choose evan to be his love interest in ttdl instead? I think u also mentioned the possibility of them being polyamorous and so in what scenario do u see that happening (in the ttdl universe or a whole other one)

Have a great day!!!

okay SO

there are a few reasons that regulus/barty does not happen in atfhv and most of them are supports to the real reason which is that i think best friends are SO underutilized as central pairs of characters. i've read a shitload of works centered around regulus and sirius, and a shitload of works centered around regulus and a romantic partner, and i have also written a bunch of these! like they're everywhere! and there's no inherent problem with that, but i think that with a familial or romantic relationship, the question of 'why us' becomes much simpler and less interesting

so ig the short answer to your question is: it was more about choosing for barty to *not* be regulus's love interest than it was about choosing evan to be

also [insert rant about regulus not often having his own friends in fic]

but as for why i did choose evan!! aghslgkjdhf i'm going to have to do a lot of tracing of my thought process because regulus and evan as a pairing just feels SO intuitive and obvious to me now, but the fact remains that when i got into it the tag was TINY. so like. how did those neurons fire in my brain?

i think it started with survived by, which was the first fic i wrote in which evan really played a role - barty's always had a pretty set personality and vibe in my head, so evan was an opportunity to play around and make someone up. i didn't proceed directly from there to rosewater - there was a period of time when i was experimenting with a few different ships, notably blaise zabini's mom and The Forbidden Jegulus Fic, and i'm looking at my warmups document right now (which is where most of my stories start before they hit ~10 pages and i decide they merit their own documents) and rosewater just sPRINGS INTO EXISTENCE on page 11. so those neurons may continue to be a mystery

but i think generally speaking, to answer 'why evan,' it's because the persona i gave him complements regulus's personality in a very different way from how barty does. they're playing the same game in very different ways, and of all the characters in ttdl, the two of them have the strongest facades.

regulus is very guarded and has a role he's decided to play, and evan just has Massive Fucking Secrets, including a role that was decided for him, but regardless - the process of the two of them growing close enough to develop and then EXPRESS vulnerable feelings is so intense/demanding in a way that it wouldn't be for any other combination of people, because literally any other combination of people would be slightly less hidden away. even them + barty in a triad would be less closed off b/c barty

in the ttdl universe i'm very attached to aro barty, which doesn't prevent there being polyamory but does affect the shape of it - i do think that at any given time the probability of regulus and barty being life partners is basically 100% though. in my head they always have a life together, unless it's like, stga aghshgljkdf, so then the question becomes how does evan factor in, and the answer is 'yes'

like they're very much a trio in my mind - the specific dynamics might change but in terms of the future, almost regardless of universe (rip stga), i envision the three of them together in some way

[koreposion]

All of my characters are polyamorous and this is because, I just want them to be. Just because they're polyam doesn't mean they wouldn't shun the idea of being with just one person, it means that they are open to the possibility of dating other people.

Of course there are levels to these feelings as it manifests differently depending on the character(Vanilla being polyam because of a systematic point of view, and Indigo being polyam because it's basically just hoarding people, Ichor is polyam because they can be)

Which is why...err I'm weird about shipping my characters with other people's characters because they don't like the idea of polyamory and while I GET THAT, I also wouldn't change my character's views because of it(It's happened so many times you would have no fuckin clue man.).

Because jealousy is something that happens, it's naturally occurring and I wouldn't call it inherently bad. But I fuckin hate love triangles and anything even coming close to it. Plus, that's not the only setting that jealousy has to happen in(but people can't cook so like what can you do?)

So usually, when it comes to relationships with other people's characters I opt for just waiting and seeing what they think. Because I love romance, but I also love queer platonic relationships to death. They are both good.

[literaryspinster]

Possibly hot take

I don’t see Starfire as being strictly polyamorous. Yes, I think a polyam relationship can suit her well but I also see her being perfectly fulfilled and happy in a monogamous one, as we have seen. I think fandom tends to force inherent polyamory onto her to either resolve love triangles or argue why she’s a wrong fit for Nightwing (who would probably also be a decent candidate for either monogamy or polyamory if we’re keeping it a buck and a half).

[larkawolfgirl]

Girlfriend and Girlfriend: Chapter 1 and 2

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, Multi Fandoms: カノジョも彼女 | Kanojo mo Kanojo | Girlfriend Girlfriend (Anime)カノジョも彼女 | Kanojo mo Kanojo | Girlfriend Girlfriend (Manga) Relationships: Hoshizaki Rika/Kiryuu Shino/Minase Nagisa/Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki, Kiryuu Shino/Minase Nagisa/Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki, Minase Nagisa/Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki, Mukai Naoya/Saki Saki, Minase Nagisa/Mukai Naoya, Kiryuu Shino/Mukai Naoya, Hoshizaki Rika/Mukai Naoya, Minase Nagisa/Saki Saki, Kiryuu Shino/Saki Saki Characters: Mukai Naoya, Saki Saki, Minase Nagisa, Kiryuu Shino, Hoshizaki Rika Additional Tags: Canon Rewrite, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Polyamorous Character, Bisexual Female Character, Domestic, Romantic Comedy, POV Third Person Omniscient, High School, Sexual Tension

Summary:

A rewrite of the Kanojo mo Kanojo manga, chapter by chapter, using mostly the same dialogue and image descriptions when possible. I aim to do the following: 1. Have the characters acknowledge that they are in a poly relationship rather than obsessively calling it two-timing 2. Emphasize Naoya's inherent attraction to multiple people 3. Emphasize Saki's bi-denial 4. Hint that Nagisa begins to like Saki from the start 5. Tone down the characters (especially their reactions) 6. Make Rika more tollerable

Read on ao3

Saki, the cutest girl in the world, cocked her head to the side. Her pink hair swayed with her movement, and her eyes glinted with the fluorescent lights overhead. Classes had finished for the day, which meant that Saki needed to head to the gym for basketball practice. “I know you’ll be lonely, but you better not cheat on me while I’m gone,” she teased.

Naoya’s reaction was immediate, his entire body stiffening with tension. “What? Saki-chan!” He could not believe that he had failed so miserably to express his devotion. His voice was thick with remorse as he bowed his head. “Do you really think I would do such a thing?”

“Na—Naoya?” Saki’s voice was hesitant, caught off-guard by his seriousness.

“I’m sorry that I made you anxious…” Naoya threw his arms around his shocked girlfriend. “To make sure you’ll never feel that way again, I’ll love you even more!”

Saki was acutely aware of the attention their fellow students were giving them and pushed against Naoya’s hold on her. “Hey…Hey, let go!”

Ignoring her, he continued spouting nonsense. “Saki-chan, I love you!”

“Do that when we’re alone!” she demanded, finally getting him to let her go.

“Geez.” She sighed with agitation. “You’re so…You’re way too serious about stuff like that. It’s pretty weird, you know? And you don’t even get my jokes.”

Naoya was perplexed how anyone could make a joke about something as serious as cheating. Obviously, it would be far too easy for a guy to fall for another girl. Right? He had to hold onto his conviction and put all of her concerns to rest. “I’m weird?” he asked.

“Annoyingly so!”

“Which part?”

Saki could feel her irritation growing. How could Naoya be so oblivious to the situation? “That thing you did just now for instance!”

“Is that so?” He held his head as he tried to figure out what was upsetting her. “Even so, I can’t lie about how I feel. So, I always have to tell the person I love that I love them.”

“That’s pretty inconvenient.” She appreciated the sentiment, but there was a time and place for that sort of thing.

Inconvenient? Was she belittling the depth of his feelings again? His blood boiled with passion. “But I’ve loved you ever since our first year in grade school! And you finally accepted my feelings when we got into high school! I want to hold onto you forever!”

Now there were audible murmurs from their classmates.

Saki’s chest fluttered, but she pushed it down. “I’ve been telling you, that kinda stuff was way too heavy for a grade schooler!” It was too much for her, even now.

Naoya leaned in closer. “Which means you can accept it now?”

She wasn’t about to show him how much his words affected her. Not now, not ever. “Yesh, sure. Come right at me!” She declared despite her turmoil. She pounded her chest before immediately spinning around with an excuse to leave. “Anyway, I’m going to my club!”

“Then, I’ll wait until you’re done. You were the cutest girl ever today!” Naoya clenched his fist with conviction.

“Thanks,” Saki replied with forced cheeriness, literally sprinting out the door before he could say something even more embarrassing.

Naoya waited atop the school’s roof, thoughts of Saki playing in his head. The peaceful quiet of the afternoon was broken by a timid voice.

“Uh, um…”

He turned to see an adorable girl with short blue hair tied to the side with a cute blue ribbon.

“You’re Mukai Naoya-kun, right?”

What could she want, he wondered. “Yes, that’s right.”

The girl lowered her head just enough so that her hair obscured her eyes. “Uh, um…I…”

Was it just his imagination or was she blushing? As soon as the thought crossed his mind, she blurted loud enough for the entire school to hear.

“I love you!”

Naoya’s heart stopped in his chest. It started again a split second later, but it resumed at a breakneck speed. “Wait. Huh?” His mind was a blur as he tried to piece together what was happening. For nine years he had fruitlessly sought after Saki’s love for it to only now be returned, and yet somehow, by the grace of whatever god was looking out for him, this adorable girl had somehow fallen for him without him having to do a thing. It was inconceivable.

The girl knelt. “Ah, sorry. I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Minase Nagisa, a first year. Nice to meet you.” Rising back to her feet, she took a step closer. “Um…Do you think I’m cute?”

“Eh?” Girlfriend or no, it wasn’t as if he could lie. Honesty was a virtue, after all. ���Well, to be honest…Yeah, I think you’re super cute.”

Delighted, Nagisa clasped her hands in front of her chest. “Ah! Thank you! I’ve been preparing for this day for the last three months. Doing four hours of muscle training and jogging every day.”

Naoya’s eyes bulged at the extent of her diligence. “You really did work super hard!”

“I wanted to do the best I could to prepare myself for confessing to you today.”

“You’re so honest.”

“I’ve heard the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so…I also tried my best at cooking for eight hours a day.” Nagisa pulled out two bento boxes she had prepared, full of delicious, but also nutritious, dishes.

The food sparkled with the love, care, and work she had put into making it. Eight hours a day? Plus four hours of physical exercise? At that rate, she couldn’t possibly have been resting enough. Concern crashed over him like an unavoidable tidal wave, and before he knew it, he was gripping her shoulders tightly. “Is your body alright? Life is precious, you know?”

“I’m fine, really.”

“Really?” he pressed.

“Yes!” she replied with more force. “Eat up, please.”

Was eating another girl’s home-cooked meal a form of cheating? Yet, he couldn’t ignore this dish that she had spent so many hours preparing specifically for him, so he sat down and dug in. The omelet melted in his mouth.

“It’s delicious, but don’t you think you’re going too far?”

Nagisa gave a dismissive wave of her hand. “Not at all. I’ve done all this for your sake, so it was actually quite fun. And besides, I got a part-time job for this. I wanted to use ingredients on the level of matsusaka beef. It cost me around 50,000 yen.”

Overwhelmed by her dedication, Naoya felt tears welling in his eyes. “You really went way too far!” He clutched the bento box, feeling his resolve wavering. “You’re so brave.”

“So, um, do you think I’m attractive?”

“Of course you are! You’re as attractive as it gets!” The words exploded out of him.

“I’m so glad.” Nagisa knew she should be happy with that much, but still… “Th-then…” Her voice wavered as she prepared herself for rejection. “Do you want to go out with me?”

Sweat poured down Naoya’s face. His pupils dilated, and his heart felt ready to pound out of his chest.

He had to turn her down, right? That’s what any decent guy with a girlfriend would do. But how was he supposed to turn her down when she was so amazingly cute, sincere, and hardworking?

Nagisa waited, but he didn’t say anything. “Am I not good enough?” she asked.

Naoya gripped her shoulders, meeting her eyes without hesitation. “That’s not it at all! Minase-san, if I were to date you, that’d make me so happy! But, I’m already dating someone else.”

“I see…Of course…” Despite her disappointment, Nagisa resolved to maintain her spirit with a smile. “But, I’m not going to give up just because I was rejected. I’ll come confess again.”

Naoya sucked in a huge breath, demanding his heart to stop its incessant beating.

“See you later!”

Nagisa turned to leave, but Naoya grabbed her hand, stopping her.

His mind was wheeling trying to figure out what he could do in this situation. “Yeah, it’s like I said, I’m already dating someone else. I love her. I want to hold on to her for the rest of my life!”

“Naoya-kun?”

“But the fact that I think you’re attractive, Minase-san, is also true! I want to spend my life with you! I don’t want to reject you! But still, I can’t just betray my girlfriend! So, if you’re okay with it…Do you want to come ask my girlfriend if I can cheat on her with you?”

He held his hand out for her to take, but Nagisa didn’t take it. She was too confused. Cheat?

“I’m sorry,” he added quickly, realizing how absurd he sounded. “This is the only solution that I could come up with.”

Nagisa processed what he said. He would continue dating his girlfriend, but he would date her as well. She supposed that was better than being rejected, right? Who was she to be picky in this situation? She nodded her head and took his hand. “Let’s give it a shot!”

Naoya smiled, enjoying the softness of her hand in his. Somehow, he felt hopeful that this would work out. “Thanks! Let’s go!”

Chapter 2

Saki closed her eyes, still working on catching her breath after her intense training. “Ha, I’m so tired.”

Suddenly, Naoya rushed towards her. “Saki-chan! I need to talk to you about something!”

Concern knit her brow. “Naoya? What’s wrong?”

“It’s about this girl.” He directed his attention to a cute girl with blue hair and a ribbon to match.

Nagisa’s voice stuttered in the face of her beautiful rival. “N-nice to meet you! My name is Minase Nagisa.”

Everything about Nagisa was cute. The sparkle in her eyes, the gentle tone of her voice, the hesitance of her demeanor. Overwhelmed by her cuteness, Saki let out a high-pitched squeal in delight. “Where’d you find this girl?” she asked Naoya, before pulling her soon-to-be friend into a hug. “Oh, geez! You’re so cute! Wanna go out to play?”

Nagisa blinked, surprised by how well the conversation was going so far. Perhaps, if she acted cute enough, it would win Saki over.

“Wait,” Naoya interjected. “We need to talk about something important first.”

There Naoya went getting too serious again. She was sure whatever he wanted to say could wait a couple of hours. “But if we don’t get to know each other first, wouldn’t that get in the way of our discussion?” she reasoned.

Considering her point, Naoya put a hand to his chin. “That makes sense.”

Saki grinned at her victory. “Alright, then. Let’s go!”

“O—okay!” Nagisa agreed to the unexpected turn of events.

Naoya bowed his head. “Thanks, Saki-chan!”

In a whirlwind of enthusiasm, Saki whisked them to a karaoke bar, eager to sing a duet with Nagisa.

Nagisa was happy that Saki seemed excited to spend time with her, so she tried her best to hit every note. However, despite her efforts, every note came out harsh and flat. It didn’t take long for Saki to stop singing and stare at her in disbelief.

“I’m sorry…I’m not good at this,” she apologized, her vulnerability creeping into her voice. If only she had known to devote hours to singing practice as well.

Saki closed her eyes and whined. “You’re soo cute when you’re embarrassed.”

Nagisa could feel her cheeks warm at the unexpected compliment.

Next, Saki wanted to play a round of basketball. Luckily, Nagisa had built up some stamina with her intensive training these last months, however, she was not used to dribbling a ball. When she overstretched her arm, her body strained forward, causing her to lose balance.

Saki rushed forward to help the fallen girl, but stopped short when her eye caught the panties on display. They were light blue and fit just right to show off the curve of her rear. “Your panties are cute, too,” she complimented.

Feeling as if her face was going to burn itself off, Nagisa quickly righted herself, and her skirt in the process. The rapid shifts in mood left Nagisa feeling more unsteady than a moment ago. Rather than disjointed, though, Nagisa felt intrigued by Saki and Naoya’s immediate adaptability.

As if showing off the skill, Saki casually said, “I’m hungry,” as if she hadn’t been eyeing Nagisa intimately just a second ago.

Following Saki’s change of direction, she presented a brimming bento box. “Oh! I made this this morning if you want.”

Saki’s eyes widened at the prospect of free food. “Really?”

Saki took the bento from the other girl and began eating. Each dish was somehow better than the last, full of rich flavors and quality ingredients which left her taste buds dancing.

It was the best thing she had ever tasted!

She might have been crying, it was so good. “Marry me! This is so delicious!” It was a joke, but really, if it meant she could eat food this good on a daily basis, Saki might consider taking her up on the offer.

Nagisa chuckled and fiddled with her hands, trying to pretend that the words hadn’t made her heart flutter for a second. Saki was unique, to say the least. Her statement definitely came off as a joke, but all of the attention she kept giving her was honestly beginning to confuse Nagisa.

Naoya had purposely stayed in the background, hoping that the girls could create a stronger bond that way. Finally, after Saki’s stomach was appeased, he spoke up. “So, Saki-chan, what do you think of Minase-san?”

“Honestly, I wanna date her!”  Saki exclaimed with a playful tone.

Again, with the flirty jokes.

Unaware that Saki was joking, Naoya replied earnestly, “Yeah, I know what you mean,” he replied seriously.

Saki’s hand on Nagisa’s shoulder tightened. “Hey, now, Naoya-kun. You have me, right?”

He met her gaze with heated intensity. “Well, yes…That’s why I want to date Minase-san as well.”

Saki’s brain felt like he had ripped a gear out of it, as if the machine that ran their life was turning off kilter. This was Naoya, the guy who had been hopelessly pined after her for nine years. If he hadn’t found someone else then, why would he do so now? It didn’t make any logical sense. Unless…Unless he now that he finally had her, he was sick of her. “What? You mean…you want to cheat on me?” She spoke the words slowly.

Realizing that Saki was struggling to comprehend his request, Naoya decided that he would continue explaining until she understood that he didn’t have any other choice. “To be honest, earlier today, Minase-san confessed to me. And the more I get to know her, the more attracted I get to her. Honestly, she just fascinates me. The only solution I could come up with was to two-time you.”

“What?” The only solution? The only solution, her ass!

Saki stood up, the anger of his betrayal crackling through her veins. Her voice was eerily calm, when she asked, “What are you even saying?”

“I mean, two-timing you in secret is not something I could just do like that. So, if you could accept it, Saki-chan, I want to two-time you with your permission.”

Asshole! Obviously, he shouldn’t cheat on her! She smacked her fist into his chest with all her might, causing him to stumble backward. “Of course, I’m not accepting that.”

Naoya bowed his head, as if doing so would somehow change her mind. “Can’t we talk about this?”

“No!” There was nothing to talk about.

“I feel bad for cheating on you, Saki-chan.”

How could he want to be with this random girl badly enough to ruin his relationship with the love of his life? “Then don’t. You already have me. Am I not enough for you?” Saki hated how desperate she sounded. He was the one begging here, not her.

Naoya turned his head to the side in shame. “Up until yesterday, I thought you were.”

A storm of conflicting emotions brewed within her: anger, hurt, betrayal. “You told me that you love me.”

“I did—I do. But, somehow, I’ve fallen for Nagisa-chan as well.”

Saki was unprepared for the tidal wave of pain that swept over her heart, threatening an onset of tears. Yet, she clung to her anger, fiercely pushing them back. “You sneezeball! You’re a womanizer like everyone else.”

Naoya shook his head. How could he possibly explain himself? “I’ve always only had eyes for you, Saki-chan. But then…Minase-san tried so hard to get me to like her that…I don’t know…I wouldn’t have asked you if this wasn’t important to me.”

His sincerity was aggravatingly genuine. It made it difficult to direct her anger at him, so Saki whirled to face the girl who caused this mess in the first place. “Hey!” she exclaimed, jabbing a finger her way. “Are you really okay with this two-timing stuff?”

“Well…I don’t believe Naoya-kun will break up with you, so unless he starts two-timing, I’ll just get rejected. That’s why I’m okay with this.”

Nagisa’s unwavering conviction struck Saki’s resolve like a hammer against glass. How in the world could she be okay with only getting half of a relationship? And for the sake of being with someone like Naoya on top of that? “Really? What’s so good about Naoya anyway?”

Nagisa didn’t falter to reply. “Naoya-kun is everything to me right now.”

“R—really?”

Nagisa leaned forward. “Please! Saki-chan, please let him two-time you.”

She looked like a stuffed animal, innocent, adorable, and glossy-eyed. It was a direct hit.

Saki shut her eyes before her attack worked its magic. “Don’t look at me with those eyes! There are only supposed to be two people in a couple. That’s just common sense!”

“But I can’t deny that I’m fascinated by Minase-san,” Naoya said. “And rejecting her just because it’s common sense while dating you like nothing happened would mean I’d be lying to myself. And to you as well, Saki-chan! I know there are regrets to be had in both lying and two-timing, so I figured I shouldn’t lie to myself and attempt the honest two-timing route.”

“No.” She gave the word as much weight as possible. It didn’t matter if he wanted to be honest or not; she wasn’t going to give in.

“Is there anything I could do that would change your answer?”

Couldn’t he just drop it already? “No means no.” Her voice was dripping with venom.

Naoya was at a loss. He couldn’t break up with Saki, but he couldn’t reject Nagisa either. “There has to be a good solution.”

“Why are you so persistent?”

“If it means making you both happy, I’m willing to try anything,” Naoya pleaded.

As if she could ever be happy in that sort of situation. “That isn’t necessary.”

“Can’t we just try it out?”

By this point, his continued attempts were grating to her ears. “Quit it already!”

Watching their exchange compelled Nagisa to step in. Naoya was trying so hard for her. If he couldn’t get through to her, maybe she could. “Please!” she cried, grabbing onto Saki’s shirt in her desperation. “I’ll make sweets for you every day. You can eat as much as you want.”

Naoya quickly added to the deal. “You’ll be just as important to me as you’ve always been. I’ll even give you a monthly allowance of thirty thousand yen.”

Saki frowned. Why did it sound like they were paying her off?

In an attempt to make Saki see how serious he was, Naoya got down onto his hands and knees. “I’ll do anything I can. I know that two-timing is a selfish thing to do, and I know that you have every right to dump me for this, and I also know that Minase-san would prefer to be in a relationship with just the two of us. But still, I say this to you, Minase-san, and to you, Saki-chan.”

He bowed his head so that it was only three inches from the ground. “A day will come when you’ll definitely feel glad that you allowed me to two-time you!” He meant every word. He would do everything in his power to make them as happy as possible.

Nagisa was touched. “Naoya-kun…”

Saki groaned. It seemed the only way to ever end this conversation would be to give in or give up. “Geez! If you want me to change my mind, then go ahead and try to change it. But I’m pretty sure it’s impossible.”

“Thank you!” Naoya said with as much gratitude as he could. “I’ll give it my all.”

“I’m already starting to hate you, though.” It would take a lot of work for him to make this up to her.

Naoya seemed ready for the challenge, though, given the look of relieved gratitude on his face. “I’ll do my best!”

[shrimpmandan]

In fairness: it is very possible to fall in love with someone who doesn't meet your sexual needs. Maybe you have vastly differing libidos, or maybe your kinks and preferences don't quite line up with your partner's. Maybe they have a sexual dysfunction or trauma. That's fine and normal. With good communication, it can be worked around. This sort of thing happens in allosexual relationships all the time. I also find it strange to position the goal of dating as being to find someone who perfectly lines up with your own sexuality, though that probably isn't exactly what you meant. (I'm also ignoring polyamory here because it kind of removes the issue entirely.)

It's not that allo/ace relationships can never work. It's that a lot of people are biased towards the idea of their ace partner having sex with them anyways because "they don't mind", or even because "I can fix them". The issues arise when allos don't consider that-- hey, maybe they don't need sex to have a functional relationship. Maybe they can compromise. Horny? Masturbate. Craving intimacy? Cuddle. Need both? A lot of (though not all) asexuals are into nonsexual kink. You can still fulfill that need in your relationship, without the asexual partner always having to be the one to compromise. That's why I've personally always disdained the narrative of asexuals having sex to "make their partner happy". Why do we never hear anything of their partners engaging in forms of nonsexual intimacy for the sake of their asexual partner? Why is the action of having sex with your partner seen as an inherent service to them that's simply being withheld?

Obviously this is a massive oversimplification. Sure, some asexuals do like sex. Sure, some allosexuals absolutely need traditional sex in their relationships. The critique is not with individuals, but rather how general society views asexuality, attempting to minimize its threat towards the traditional cishet norm, by making it seem like being ace doesn't actually make a meaningful difference in your life. "It's okay that people are asexual. Asexuals can be normal too."

It's always, "aces can still have sex" but never, "allos can go without sex"

Kinda makes it feel like aces *have* to be the ones to compromise in allo/ace relationships

[pleasureactivismreview]

"Bodyminds Reimagined" - A Conversation with Sami Schalk

in this interview, amb interviews Sami Schalk, and her relation to disability justice, BDSM, and polyamory. i find this interview really interesting, especially because i have a partner who's disabled.

i think one of the thing that resonates with me from Sami is her discovery of the problems that impact disabled people. while i had an idea about this, it wasn't until forming strong connections with disabled people that ableism was truly shown to me. my partner is disabled, and they've helped educate me and inform me about the stigmatization and prejudice they face as a disabled person. while i can relate to disability, it's only in a small way, as my disabilities are from my mental health and with migraines, both of which are invisible disabilities. being with a partner who's disabled, we've sometimes had to accommodate with sex, whether that be stopping so they can eat food to raise blood sugar, or testing new positions that reduce pain for them. i think it's very unfortunate that when disability comes up, we often ignore the possibility of disabled people being sexual. as a society, we may think that they are unable to have sex, or that their disability makes them less desirable. but something that Sami talks about is that no, disability isn't an inherent deficit, but rather a difference. another book that helped me see the sexuality of disabled people was Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon. in it, Allison discusses the problems that disabled people face when it comes to sexuality as well as possible ways to accommodate for disability. (they also write spicy introductions to each chapter relating to the topic of that chapter. in the disability chapter, they write about a sexual encounter with a disabled person, which i think just helps normalize disabilities and their relationship to sex.) Sami's points on BDSM and polyamory are also very interesting. the use of BDSM as an embodiment of pleasure focused on the body as a break from the life of academics is a great strategy i think. not only is it an escape from reality for a while, but it's also a great way to practice communication, care, and self reflexivity. as for polyamory, i think the benefits described by Sami are wonderful. as someone who has been in poly relationships, i find the open exploration to follow desires, set boundaries, and create strong relationships is so wonderful. while polyamory isn't necessarily for me (i'm happily in a monogamous relationship, but we're both open to change) , i think the practices of stating and following desires is so strong and important, and the open love that can be found is so beautiful.