#And that particular chapter carried such an important message. This whole series carries many such important messages

[trashsketch]

i fully caught up with witch hat atelier and aaaAAAAAAAAAA

[filipinoizukuu]

I saw your post about the FA's translations, and I totally agree. Sometimes, when they do not translate accurately, is to make it sound better or cooler in English, but it just ends up taking away a lot from the context and characters. We know how one of the most affected character interpretations is Katsuki's, a main character, no less. And Izuku and Katsuki's relationship too, which is something super super wrong, considering is deeply intertwined with the main plot of the series, thus if someone misinterpreted their dynamic, this person would miss a bigass chunk of the message the story has.

Here is the panel you mentioned before btw

I remember when I read this, only 10 or 11 chapters into the manga (?), and I was like "...I'm...pretty sure this guy didn't say that" khshsjdhs

OK FIRST OF ALL LMAO HELLO MANG!! THANK YOU SO MUCH AND DW ABOUT IT I TOTALLY GET WHAT YOU MEAN !!

(this is your warning for a long post ahead!)

In any case, I still think you're very correct on this! Not to ramble a bit, but Horikoshi's particular talent in developing the plot of MHA is actually very very brilliant and there are a lot of blink-and-you'll-miss-it details that together, assemble the big picture of what MHA is.

Translations are such an integral part of being able to understand foreign media. MHA or otherwise. The simplest of details say a lot about a character and often times make or break a series because everyone knows that strong character dynamics are what carry even the shittiest of plots.

First and foremost, I want to clarify that because of the nature of fan translations and the fact that most of it is volunteer work/ written out of pure enjoyment of the manga--we shouldn't judge these fan translators too harshly (if at all) for interpreting it the way they want to. FA, as far as I can tell, is a fan-based group that works out of donations.

The first thing I wanna bring up is that when it comes to fandom and its works, there are two types: Curatorial and Transformative. Now, the transformative part is something that must be very familiar to a lot of you. Fanfiction, fanart, and most headcanons fall under Transformative Works (i.e. AO3) because they are all about transforming the canon world to fit each individual's personal preferences. Meta-analysis posts and Character Breakdowns are also classified under this.

Curatorial on the other hand are fandom interactions made with the explicit purpose of being as close to canon material as possible. This is working out the logic of quirks, for example, or memorizing as much canon content about your favorite villain as possible. These are more cold, hard undeniable facts that lend themselves to the DIRECT VISION the creator/author had while making this media. If you were to ask me my opinion on this, this would be the moment where I tell you that the Curatorial side of fandom is where fan translations should (for the most part) fall under.

What people need to know though is that oftentimes, fan translations do not.

Translating isn't and has never been a one-is-to-one process. There are hundreds of thousands of aspects in a language that make it so that it isn't perfectly translatable. Colloquialisms to sayings to dialects, to just plain-out words that don't have a proper English translation to them! Manga is made by and for a Japanese audience, so obviously in a lot of instances, there will be cultural nuances that will not be understood by anyone who hasn't immersed themselves in Japanese culture/language.

So what does this mean then for fan scanlations?

It means that a vast majority of translators teach themselves to only get the essence of the message. They take the dialogue as they understand it and translate it to something of their interpretation. When language and cultural barriers exist, translators do what they can in order to make it understandable to the general populace. This means making their own executive decisions on how they see a character speaking. In example, if they see Todoroki using very direct and impersonal Japanese--one translator might interpret it to mean that Shouto is stiff and overly formal, while another may see it as him being rude and aloof.

The problem is, translators are fans just like us.

Like with the image Mang posted above, the translator based the usage of curse words off of their understanding of Bakugou's character. The lack of foul language in the original Japanese might have made the translator think "Oh. There just aren't enough Japanese cusses for his character." And took that as an initiative to make Bakugou's lines more colorful and violent because this was working off of the image Bakugou had had at this point in canon.

But Codi! You may cry. Wasn't it proven multiple times that Bakugou prefers concise and short lines? They should've known better!

Yes. Maybe they should've known better. But tell me honestly in your first watch-through of MHA, did you perfectly understand Bakugou's character either? Did you catch the whole 'direct and no flowery language' aspect of his language when you first saw Season 2?

Most people don't. I only really understood this fact after I'd read multiple discussions of it and even double-checked the manga myself. These are the kinds of things that only become noticeable with a sharp eye and some time to scrutiny. But the fact of the matter is that when it comes to fan translations, the clout and recognition are always going to go to who can post the quickest.

Am I excusing erroneous translations? A bit, I guess. It's hard for us to go in and expect translators to catch all these errors before release when we ourselves only catch these errors like 4 months in with a hundred times more canon context than these scanlation groups did at the time of its release.

Still, there are plenty of harms that come with faulty translations.

When a translation is more divorced from the original's meaning than usual, it creates a dissonance between what is actually happening versus what the audience sees is happening. This looks like decently-written character arcs being overruled and rejected by most of the readers because of how 'jarring' and 'clumsy' it seems. By the time translators had caught on to the fact that Bakugou was more than just a ticking time bomb, we were already several steps into showing how significantly he cares for Deku.

The characters affected most by these translation errors are often those with the most subtle and well-written character arcs. A single mistake in how the source material is translated can make or break the international reception of a certain character to everyone who isn't invested enough in them to look deeper into the canon source.

It creates hiccups in plots. Things that seem out of character but really aren't. Going back to MHA in specific, the way that inaccurate translations hurt both the 'curatorial' and 'transformative' parts of the fandom is that people have begun to cite them as proof of the main cast's characterization.

Bakugou and Todoroki are undeniably some of the biggest examples of mistranslation injustices.

Katsuki, in a lot of people's minds, has yet to break out of the 'overly-aggressive rival' archetype box that people had been placing him in since Season 1. One of the most amazing aspects and biggest downfalls of Hori's writing was that at first, nearly every character fit into a very neat stereotype for Shonen Animes (Deku being the talking-no-jutsu sunshine MC, Uraraka being the overly bubbly main girl, Todoroki being the aloof and formal rival). He made the audience make assumptions about everyone's characters and then pulled the rug beneath our feet when he revealed deeper sides of them to play around within canon.

What made this part about Horikoshi's set-up so good though were the many clues we were given from the very beginning that these characters were more than what they acted like. Even from the very first chapters, for example, we learn that Katsuki (as much as he acts like a delinquent) dislikes smoking because it could get him in trouble.

That is just a single instance of MHA's use of dialogue to subtly divert our expectations of a character.

Another example is when they replaced 318's dialogue of the Second User saying that Katsuki "completes" Deku with him saying that Katsuki merely "bolsters" him. This presents a different situation, as that line was meant to reinforce the importance of those two's relationship as well as complete the character foils that MHA is partially centered around. By downplaying their developed connection, it becomes harder for the MHA manga scanlations to justify any future significance these two's words have on each other without mottling the pacing of the story.

AKA, it butchers the plot.

With every new volume, there are dozens and dozens more of these hints and bits scattered around! So many cues and subtle foreshadowing at the trajectory of everyone's character arcs--yet mistranslations or inaccurate scans make it so that we don't notice them. This is what I mean when I said that some character arcs are being done great injustices.

Until now, many people can't accept that Katsuki Bakugou cares for anyone other than himself (much less his rival and MC, Izuku Midoriya), nor can they accept that Todoroki would ever willingly work by Endeavor's side. The bottom-line then becomes that because of people missing heavy bits of characterization that become very plot-significant in the future.

When it comes to the point where people can no longer accept or fit their interpretation of the earlier manga events to what is happening in canon, the point of a translation fails completely because it has lead people to follow an entirely different story.

TL;DR - Fan scans are hard. Translating is hard. Don't get too mad at fan translations, but also maybe don't treat them as the catch-all for how characters truly operate. Thanks.

Side note: DO NOT harass FA for any of these things. FA is actually a pretty legit and okay source for scans (they've been operating since like 2014 ffs), but regardless of that they still don't deserve to get flack for their work. You can have any opinion or perspective of canon that you want, I don't care. These are just my two (more like two million tbh) cents on translations. I suggest reading takes from actual Japanese audiences tbh if you wanna know more about the source material of MHA. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[spnfanficpond]

April 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

**Also, due to the number of afas and multiple nominations, each person on this list will only be tagged once. Please be sure to read the entire post so you don’t miss multiple nominations/comments!**

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE APRIL’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Slow (oneshot) by @sunlightdances

Intimacy is sooooo sexy xox

Nominated by @manawhaat

Ritual (oneshot) by @winchester-fantasies

This fic is grounded, subtle, realistic, and has an incredible energy between Dean and the reader! There’s so many little things that play into the bigger picture to make this really flow and work seamlessly as a whole!

Temporary Scars (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Fucking hell. Dean x Donna x Benny is such a rare pair that it’s NOT something I knew I needed, but everything about this dynamic is fucking perfect. It’s a bit of an AU, but I still love the way each character was represented. What they all brought to the table and how they balanced each other out in exactly the ways they needed. There’s a dynamic here that I haven’t seen before, especially not with THESE characters, and they complement each other fucking GORGEOUSLY! 

Boyking fic (oneshot) by @whispersandwhiskerburn

This shit is fucking CRAFTY! There’s a lot of little things that carry through this and the way that ‘control’ is presented in each scene of this fic is very cool. 

Calm (series) by @winchesterswoonathon

Oof! This John series just totally fucks me up. It’s perfect in the way you swoon over him and yearn to see a side of him he so rarely shows others. Maggie definitely knows how to nail the pining for John angle! 

Dream Drabble (oneshot) by @theychosefamily

Sam’s comfort and sincerity in this kill me! It may have been inspired by a dream, but this tracks so well for each of them and could definitely be a scene plucked from the show! 

The Unexpected (oneshot) by @impalaimagining

Goddamn this is sexy as all hell! It’s intense and passionate and scary and dazzlingly wonderful! 

Nominated by @flamencodiva

Three’s A Crowd (series) by @1000roughdrafts

So I was browsing Kay’s Masterlist and came upon this very lovely Gem! I would love to see what happens next and I know Kay is extremely busy, but she is a talented writer and I wanted to put this lovely work out there. It is a wonderful concept and I can’t wait to see what happens!

Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

A good way to rot your teeth with Dean fluff. This story pulls on your heartstrings and can be just what you need when you feel down.  

The Pact (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

This is an amazing AU Sam Fic! It is well written and traps you into the fantasy world from the very beginning. I can’t wait to see the roller coaster that is this story as it is beginning to unfold! 

Nominated by @deanwanddamons

The Sullivan Series (series) by @katehuntington​

I binge read this series and adore it. Zoe is such a badass and an awesome OFC.

It is so good it could easily be written as a series of SPN and I am really hoping it is continued as I can’t wait for the next series. Kate is such an awesome person, hugely supportive and a big influence on me as a writer. This series deserves so much more recognition.

Ride With Me (seires) by @katehuntington

This series is divine. I am so invested in this right now. The way Kate writes is a true inspiration to me and this AU is stunning. Her story telling and descriptions are totally immersive and I am so excited to see where she takes us on this journey.

He’s Not You (series) by @mummybear​

This series is awesome! It’s really building momentum and I’m loving where it’s going. Such a great idea for a story and can’t wait to see where Chelsea takes us!

The Man on the Side of the Road (series) by @supernatural-jackles​

This series was beautiful. I was so invested in this and so sad when it came it an end. It was very cathartic for me to read as I related to the reader so much.

Shatter Me (series) by  @winchest09​

This series is incredible. Such a superb concept and I love the way it has been written. The feeling of isolation and Dean’s desperation to save her had me engrossed all the way through. A must read.

D.W. (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage​

I have recently ventured into dark fic and was recommended this.

Demon!Dean is just 🔥 and this fic is dark, sexy and very explicit. And holy shit I LOVED IT!

Nominated by @moosekateer13​

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage

What I really loved about it shows the love can change your whole perspective of the world when love is thrown into the mix.  

The Ones You Love (series) by @kittenofdoomage

It shows how far the Winchester's are willing go when it comes to their family.  

Cosa Nostra (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved how in the end love and their bond was stronger than an obstacles that were thrown in their way.

Paid In Full (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved it! It taught you look past what you see at first.   

Poor Little Rich Girl (series) by @winchesterprincessbride​

Love how it showed the money is isn't everything love is more important.  

Political Animals  (series) by @winchesterprincessbride

Loved the sometimes it showed the its better to break away from people who are trying to control your life.  

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy​

Loved how it to taught you to look past first impressions and that there is always more than meets the eye.

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​

Control and Release - 30 (series) by @thecleverdame​

I think I might’ve nominated this series before, when I wasn’t caught up yet, but I am now and I just have to recommend this chapter. The entire story is gold but this chapter in particular had me sucked right into the scene at the end. The intensity of the fight and the way they deal with everything that is going on; the emotions, the worlds outside of their little bubble of safety. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it for whoever hasn’t read this series yet. But, if you are one of those people, I highly recommend you change that ASAP.

The Secrets We Keep (series) by @princessmisery666​

Better late than never, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to ease the guilt I’m feeling for how long it took me to finally read this series like I said I would. I didn’t enjoy it any less, that’s for sure. And that was even before I got to the twist that made it even better. I loved the vulnerability between Sam and Erin, and the different kind of friendship she had with Dean.

Cabin Fever (long oneshot) by @slytherkins​

I’ve already attempted (and failed) to express my thoughts on this story to the author privately, so I won’t try again here, in risk of my heart shattering all over again. But what I definitely will say (and I will break into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment to scream it from their balcony if I have to) is this: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING and go read this fic if you haven’t already. It’s a heavy read, yes. But it is more than worth it, I promise you.

Equanimous (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill​

I love the tension in this scene. The boys are so in character and I could picture the demons perfectly. And, of course, Cas storming in, being badass, and saving the day, that’s always a plus.

Non-existent (oneshot) by @waywardjoy​

I’m definitely a sucker for a good crack-fic. To be honest, when I read the summary I was already sold. That signature bickering between the boys never gets old, does it?

Nominated by @impalaimagining

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Physically speaking, on the list of things I love about Dean Winchester, this checks almost every single box. I love the little things you’re noticing about Dean as the reader - his freckles, the contrast between his skin and the black shirt he’s wearing, exactly which Zeppelin song he’s singing while he works. The teasing is a nice touch too, especially the line about the night before. Proud Dean is so cute, and it’s exactly how I would expect him to react to being the hero around the house.

Nominated by @impala-dreamer

Almost Paradise (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches​ 

Amanda always always writes the fluff so well, but this little bit of bittersweet longing is delicious. Also, she nails Dean EVERY TIME. One of those writers who just gets Dean’s voice down so perfectly. Very Very well done!

Enough Time (oneshot)  by @dissect-me​ 

I was just scrolling the pond list and found this wonderful Destiel fic. I mean… the emotions were intense and I was a mess by the end. Just lovely and so well done. I will be diving back through their masterlist for more Destiel!!

  Nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Life For Rent (series) by @winchest09

@katehuntington told me to go read this so I did and I do not regret it. An amazingly sexy (and at times, heartbreaking) series, not for the faint of heart. Totally waiting on edge for the next chapter.

Call Of The Ocean (series) by @flamencodiva and @anatheweirdo​

I’m fairly certain I’ve nominated this before but it’s so good, I’m gonna nominate it again. You will absolutely become invested in Thasman’s well-being.

Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67​

Communion (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

But Dean’s natural state is this – nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm. He speaks softly and quietly. His voice isn’t always rough and hard. He sings. MY FEELS. This is beautiful and heart-wrenching all at once.

Sex with Dean is always really good. A lot of times it’s a rushed, life-affirming kind of thing. So when we have time, every touch is at once charged and grounded. And when we have time and are also able to imbibe? It’s metamorphic. All of this, just one perfect line after another. WOW

Just to be his in our own little bubble. And this, this is exactly how this story feels- so close and heavy and perfect Amazing work,.Like, really astounding.

Synesthesia (oneshot) by @there-must-be-a-lock​

Lou took this prompt and did something wildly creative! It’s so well done that the reader can see and feel and taste it.

Wild Thing (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock

I am in love with the Everything series so, so much. Lou has done a beautiful job of building a world with J2 x reader, so loving and creative and hot. This one is, for sure, a favorite! Incorporates one of my favorite quotes into a smoking hot fic. Good work!!

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional​

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams.

6 paragraphs in, and I knew Val was going to break my heart. This is a gorgeous gorgeous story! Creative premise, great characterization, and written so that you can see and taste and feel every moment.

I found myself wanting to both read faster, and slow down and savor it. And yes, it broke my heart, but so beautifully that I would let it happen over and over again.

Weight (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter​

This one is short and both painful and beautiful. So very heavy with experience and meaning. An excellent example of the ways that our favorite characters can help inspire us, lift us and encourage us to keep going

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords​

Kathy is new-ish to the SPN family but not to either writing or fandom, and it is immediately apparent in her first piece of SPN fanfic. Her creative storyline, her grasp of the characters, and her way with words make it immediately apparent that you are reading the work of a master!

Salvation (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence​

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left. These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author  gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar. The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose? This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam! It’s easy to forget sometimes what a fearsome hunter he is, but this author reminds us with razor sharp clarity.

“You’re safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me.“ Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It’s no wonder he’s fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action and some sweet hotness! Plus the author does such a good job with Sam, I’m in love with him all over again. I haven’t read this author much before but you’d better believe I won’t miss a story now!

Casual Affair (oneshot) by @fookinghelljensensthighs​

This Dean x Benny fic is short, smoking hot and painfully good. A must read!

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661​

The Force of Habit (series) by @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ 

I read that series at least 3 times now. I love this story, its witty and funny. This fic just makes me smile without trying! Even after reading 3 times, I still thoroughly enjoyed it like it was the first time.  

Satisfied (series) by @crashdevlin​

This is so good, the emotion that this series makes me feel is just out of this world!

Dangerous Signs (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Rhi always has brilliant idea!!! This is one of those and I just can’t get enough of her writing.

Control and Release (series) by @thecleverdame

What start as mostly just porn turned into such a great series with twist and turns!

Hunger (oneshot0 by @impala-dreamer

Oof… what to say about this? it’s Beka! It’s hot and sweaty and makes me want more! Like everything she writes!

Nominated by @myinconnelly1​

Couldn’t Resist (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

This is fun, funny, and sexy. Short sweet and to the point, while still getting you hot under the collar!!!

Dark Obsession (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Where do I even start in this drabble! It's so fucking cute and funny! I was laughing out loud and could totally see TFW trying to play their parts here

Promise Me We’ll Be Alright (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

What a pain in the heart this fic was. It hurt so good!! I was ready to cry

Say My Name (oneshot) by @idabbleincrazy​

Smoking hot! While in general Baby-girl is a turn off for me, this fic is so far from it! funny at the start with some cracky dean who is caught in the middle, then getting some possessive Sam which is like my fav! 

I’ll See You on Your Birthday (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

SOOO MUCH FLUFF!!! Like seriously i needed a dentist after. Some cute ABO pregnancy right here!

Just A Number (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

Again Sexy and Funny (I have a type ok) This was a great use of Age Gap and it wasn't creepy and didn't need a little blue pill at all!

Happily Ever After (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

HAPPILY EVER AFTER! It's all i need to say!!!! Read It!

Missing Person (oneshot) by @emilyshurley​

This fic is by my favoritest human in the world!!! It’s hilarious and silly but also almost canon. Plus I make a cameo as Garth’s friend!!! What’s not to love!!! 

Nominated by @lovetusk​

The Only Exception (series) by @ne-gans​ & @negans-lucille-tblr​  

While only the prequel so far, I’m too hyped for this beauty to NOT nominate it.

Survive (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage 

I’m always here for some Alpha!Sam, but this one punched me right in the feels. How dare anyone keep him from his Omega.

He Wasn’t In Love With You (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87  

Dawn doesn't angst often, but sometimes she does and I love it.

Nominated by @there-must-be-a-lock

Noises (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter 

Just. HOT. Hot hot hot like burning. Dom!Cas playing Dean like a goddamn fiddle... what more can you ask for!?

Come For Me (oneshot) by @fangirlxwritesx67 

My favorite thing this author has published so far! There are a whole lot of emotions in this one, adrenaline and fear and relief and lust and tenderness, and you can feel the depth of everything going on between them and the chaos of the moment. Also, nailed the “oh shit where did this predatory hotass come from” feeling that I totally imagine would happen during a first time with Sammy.

Plus One (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield 

This is smutty and raunchy and HOT but it also manages to nail the sweet, loving side of Dean. Smut can so easily be one-dimensional, but this fic managed to be both filthy and tender in a way that feels 150% true to character.

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional 

An absolutely stunning exploration of some parallel universe Deans. Gorgeously vivid language, such incredible character accuracy, borderline heartbreaking but in a way that isn’t hopeless; it makes you feel FULL. My favorite SPN fic I’ve read in a long time.

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords 

Incredibly evocative, gorgeous wistful tone, and a couple little plot twists that hit you with all the right feels.

Nominated by @winchest09

All I Want (series) by @katehuntington

I love this, so much. I love the take on this particular episode and how in fact it brings back the reader instead of *spoiler*. It’s still ongoing and it’s already tugging on heartstrings and has made me cry so if you read this, grab your tissues!

Ride With Me (series) by @katehuntington

This series has my heart. Like this could be a published book that i would read cover to cover, over and over. The spine would be broken, pages glued in because i would have read it that much. How everything is described, how the world is painted, the characters, the setting…just everything. It’s a must read..A MUST READ.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (series) by @talesmaniac89​

This broke my heart. This was so beautifully written to the point i was sobbing behind my screen mumbling incoherent words to my husband before talking to a few other tumblr blogs about it. If you read this, have tissues handy. Dean was so in character and my heart will never be the same. Must read.

The Man In Apartment 43 (series) by @talesmaniac89

This series has me so intrigued! It’s written amazingly, has me gasping, has me seriously flinching at some of the creepy goings on and I cannot wait to see where this goes! It’s an ongoing series and I’m loving it!

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

This lovely little drabble satisfies all my domestic dean needs. Covering his fine ass, arms and back. I mean…Come on! It’s just everything that you need in a bite size package. I absolutely loved it!

Nominated by @katehuntington

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today (oneshot)  by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea on the side.

You’re Home (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

A drabble that’s absolutely worth mentioning, is this short story. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art. 

Imagine Dean debating asking you out (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

I Just Called To Say I Love You (oneshot) @talesmaniac89

This one hurts bad, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterisation beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

Side By Side (series) by @talesmaniac89

Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

The Voices (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss​

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

Nicotine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over. 

 My Hero (oneshot) by @plaidstiel-wormstache​  

What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read. 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[fuckyeahharryhart]

PART 3 HARRY HART FAN FICTION Because they better give him a good story for the last Kingsman. In case they don’t, I wrote something myself.

PART  3

FAN FIC

KINGSMAN III: REDACTED

MULTI PART SERIES:(My version of Kingsman 3)

Harry Hart x Original Character

Warnings: Reference to violence

Word Count: 5,000

OVERVIEW: After the events of Kingsman, The Golden Circle, Harry, Eggsy and the rest of the survivors rebuild their agency to it’s former level of integrity. A new player arrives unexpectedly, carrying memories of the past that will change the future of Kingsman.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: Gwendolyn, having played her last card, shares a drink with Harry and Eggsy while she tells them who she is, where she came from and why she was spying on them.

------

The Black Prince Public House stood on a quiet corner in South London’s, Kensington. The pub dated back to the early 20th century and its name referred to the road where it stood. The wall were painted a dark forest green with black trim. Its name was displayed in gold. It was the place to go, its sign stated, for FINE ALES AND STOUT, but the three patrons inside, seated at one of the booths at the rear, decided that something a little stronger was appropriate after the evening’s turn of events.

Gwendolyn decided this was a drink she was waiting for her whole life and, therefore, if she was going to “celebrate”, was not the right word, perhaps “commemorate the occasion” was a better term, she was going to do it properly. She had acquired a taste for fine scotch and chose accordingly. She was quite sure the two men were slightly taken aback when she ordered three The Macallan 25’s, neat, for the table. She was fairly certain that this warm, friendly, unassuming neighbourhood pub would not carry The Maccallan M Edition, or the Silver Jubilee, or the Dalmore 64.  so she didn’t inquire, but even the cost of the three glasses would be relatively extravagant. The price wasn’t a concern of hers and she was sure it wasn’t a concern of the Kingsman, whose coffers went deep. She wasn’t beyond offending any gentlemanly sensibilities this evening. They were beyond chivalry. And she wasn’t about to tolerate either of them possibly ordering for her.

The two men regarded her if she were a new species of female. She probably was. There were female Kingsman agents, but they too, followed Kingsman protocol, regardless of gender. The behaviour, actions, mannerisms of all Kingsman were consistent, familiar, reliable, while she was under no such constraints.  If her behaviour this evening was unseemly, “unladylike”, she really couldn’t give a rat’s arse. She was here for a reason and her methods got her job done. Perhaps with less grace and finesse than she was hoping for, but she got her results.

The three short tumblrs of scotch were placed in front of them. It had been a very long time since The Black Black Prince had poured not one, but three from that particular bottle. As it was custom that the host, or hostess for this matter, make a toast and she didn’t yet make a move toward her glass, the two men waited to follow her lead. So now they decide to be polite, she thought.

“Well, then.” she began. She was slightly irritated at their seemingly perfect presentation, at least on Harry’s part. Eggsy was not beyond taking a more relaxed shape and leaned back into the booth. His tie was loosened and his suit coat unbuttoned. His hair slightly mused even though he did not participate in any of the more physical aspects of their evening, as if that was its natural state. He would have shrugged out of his jacket if it weren’t for his shoulder holster.

Harry Hart, returned back to his gentlemanly demeanour, sat straight, but comfortably, his suit and tie still perfectly in place. Even his hair had somehow returned to its initial state, smooth waves brushed back into shape. It made her feel somewhat uncomfortable to see him so poised after the physical contact they had made. She had flipped him over her head, had a knife to his throat, kicked him fairly hard in the shin, and he looked none the worse for wear. Only his expression, equal parts indignant, concerned, and vaguely offended, revealed that anything of interest had occurred.

In contrast, even turning toward him was likely to throw her off balance. A feeling she did not enjoy one bit. Just her quick glance in his direction and she could feel him behind her again, pressing against her, the long line of his legs, the broadness of his chest across her back, the sheer size of him, the smell of his wool suit and the cologne, soap or whatever made him smell so good and she felt a rush of blood rise up to her cheeks. She clenched her jaw and flushed. She was hoping that they would take it for her high emotional state after their confrontation, not the fact that she found herself neatly attracted to a man she only just met and almost twice her age.

His refined manner only made her that much more aware of her own disheveled state. Her hair, a black cloud that had been blown all over, her pedestrian attire, though not unattractive, in no way matched the elegance of their Kingsman suits. No cosmetics, no adornment, not that those elements of her outward appearance were particularly important to her, in the face of their stately masculinity, she felt decidedly unfeminine. And regardless of her feelings, she knew that her looks were as much of a tool for a spy as her words or actions. She convinced herself she wasn’t concerned just because she wanted Harry to find her attractive.

Her personal feelings seeped into her professional persona. She reeled back her thoughts and replaced them with a cool, calm, collected mindset with a specific objective. If she kept her personal feelings at bay now, she could let it all out after her mission was accomplished. She drilled into her brain, be smart now, feel later.

Until she felt differently, she approached this as she would any other meeting of an asset or target. What she needed from the relationship and how could she get them to do what she wanted was just as much about finding out what they needed, and how to make it seem she was giving them what they wanted.  Almost every relationship was based on a desire to be heard and understood. Wants and needs were always self-revealed, unwittingly or intently. She just had to listen.

Unfortunately, for this first meeting, she would be the one doing most of the talking. She knew being genuine, sincere, and honest, would be in her best interest.  The more and better we are heard and understood, she thought, the more we are willing to and want to engage and respond. The sensation of being listened to was a powerful motivator and feeling enhancer to all people, it was human nature.  It was why we befriended those that listened to us, worked for those that heard us, and fell in love with those that understood us.

——

“Well” she repeated, refocusing. She shifted her posture, drew her shoulders back, lifted her head a little higher, and held the space around her. Composing herself just as she would with any new asset would put her back on target. Remember your training.

“I’m sure you have many questions.” She opened up the table.

Harry, as direct as she, got right to the point.

“How are we to trust that you are really Merlin’s daughter? He never spoke of family.”

He folded his hands together, looking stern with a slight narrowing of his eyes, his brow with just a hint of a furrow.

Harry’s eyes roved over her, her posture, hands, the angles of her face. He listened to the inflections of her voice, searching for any tells that might indicate she was being less than honest. He looked for any hint of the tall Scotsman in this young woman. The loss of Merlin was still a wound that was raw. For both he and Eggsy. He wouldn’t tolerate anyone using his death as an excuse, no matter the reason, but especially if it was a false one.

“He wouldn’t have.” She replied bluntly. “

“ How much did you know of Hamish?” She asked.

She emphasised the pronunciation of his given name. Hay-mish.

“That is, before he came to Kingsman.”

The two men glanced at each other, but did not speak. Admittedly, they did not know of Merlin’s past. He never offered, and as gentleman, they never asked. They both knew that spies usually became spies because of something dark and fucked up from their past, and Harry had no doubt this was the same for Merlin. Hence, he never questioned his unwillingness to disclose his life prior to Kingsman. Harry was the same, just as unwilling to divulge his own personal information.

Eggsy, “That doesn’t mean anything. Anyone can say that.”

Harry leaned forward slightly, emphasising the importance of his words. They were low and sharp.

“If you really are who you say you are, then you know that his loss is one that we still feel every day.”

He shot a glance toward Eggsy, who more than anyone, felt the weight of his death.

“We will not condone anyone using his name for their own motives. Have you proof?”

She surveyed them for a moment. She considered her words and chose them with care. Her words were all she had and they carried a heavy weight. They had to be strong enough to deliver the message she was about to send. He eyes moved to her drink, still untouched.  Mindfulness was key. As was paying attention to their responses, observing them with the intent to understand. Through her words, she would see how they felt, what they were thinking, and most of all, what they wanted or needed.

She cleared her throat. She met one pair of eyes and then the other.  She poised herself to say something that, to her, held the utmost honour and importance. She took a deep breath in. At the end of her exhalation, she spoke. Her voice was low as well. Her words were even more powerful for her lack of emotion.

“My father’s favorite song was ‘Country Roads.’ by John Denver.”

The entire room seemed to suddenly quiet with stupefaction.

“My father was singing it, when he stepped off of a land mine to save both of your lives. And to save your mission. For my father, the mission always came first.”

For the two men, this was an impossible statement. No one, set aside Eggsy and himself had that knowledge. Not even other Kingsman.

Harry spoke, this time with frank disbelief. He wasn’t even questioning her. He was asking himself. Out loud. Without his familiar strength and surety.

“That is impossible. There is no possible way you could know that.”

With the same poise, the same simplicity, she explained.

“I was there when he died.” Observing their state of bewilderment, she clarified. “Via satellite and reconnaissance drones.” Which didn’t ease their confusion.

“If you worked with my father, you knew he was a brilliant strategist. He wasn’t merely good, he was gifted. He had the talent of an artist. Some of that talent filtered down to me. I’ll never be as good as he was, but I was good enough to hack the communication band that Statesman had in place for reconnaissance and I had access to audio and visual of the events that led to, and after his death.”

Impossible would never have the same meaning for them again. Because this young woman’s story was utterly impossible. Yet, here it was, an impossible situation.  

She turned slightly toward Eggsy and held his blue eyes with her grey. Her voice took on an undefinable emotion, “I know that he took your place on a land mine, Eggsy.”

And with that confession, he was forced to drop his gaze. Is this how Harry felt when he had to tell him that it was due to Harry’s own mistake that Eggy’s father died? Guilt was physical. It was a crushing weight on his chest that made it hard to breathe.

“I know that he died in the way that he wanted.”

She added with a note of empathy and understanding to slightly ease their guilt and their shock.  

“He was able to give his life for those close to him.”

Neither of the men could think of anything to say. Harry Hart, who was never at a loss for words, found himself unable to find a single word that would be appropriate for a time and situation like this.

Gwendolyn sighed internally. At least now she had their full attention. She was quite certain that she would not be interrupted this time around.

“Perhaps,”  she said. Her voice now carried a softer note. It was not the voice of an agent. It was the voice of a daughter.

“Perhaps, I should start at the beginning”.

“But first.” she paused and picked up her glass, holding her arm out toward the men, the glass in her hand.

Harry and Eggsy, first exchanging a look in the other’s direction, followed suit. Each man took a glass and waited, with the warm golden liquid breaking up the lines of dim light that hovered over their table.

She suddenly felt overcome once more, as she had been when she first stepped off the train and onto the concourse on her arrival. She channeled that emotion into her toast, which was brief and heartbreaking in its simplicity.

Holding up her glass, “To my father, Hamish Mycroft.” She paused. “And to Merlin.”

Each of them held the gaze of the other two as their glasses touched with a light, crisp ring. Each drank back its contents.

——

As three glasses hit the hardwood of the table. Gwendolyn began to speak. Her story was a long and complicated one. And unfortunately, the two men could tell, it would be a sad one. An unknown daughter of a colleague that you’ve known for most of your adult life doesn’t suddenly appear after his death with good news.

“My father, whose given name was Hamish Mycroft, was married. He had three children. Two boys and a girl. I was the youngest.”

The slightly blank, yet confused faces made it seem like she had already given them more information than they could process. She paused, gestured to the barkeep for another round. The scotch would do good to kick in soon, because her story was not going to get any easier.

“Before he had a family, he worked with far east intelligence, recruited after his time in the army, where he had been stationed in Tibet, Bhutan, and other East Asian territories.”

She nodded her thanks to the barman, who delivered their second round of drinks. The scotch should have been savoured, but she felt at the time, a tip back for her father was right, even though he would have been horrified to see her shoot back a scotch of such high quality. This one however, she would sip.

“While he was working as a field operative at the station in Bhutan, he met a very beautiful Bhutanese woman, Evelyn, my mother, who was also working intelligence, but as a handler. Based on their skill assessment, they were assigned to work as a team. They would run missions together. My father as the operative. My mother, his handler. Hence, I myself am half Scottish, half Bhutanese. If you’ve had difficulty pinpointing my ethnicity. It’s not a common pairing.”

“Even though the agency opposed ‘close and continuing’, inter-agency relationships and relationships in general, Hamish believed that he could live a normal life. That he could have a wife and family despite working in intelligence. They were an example of having a successful home life in addition to a successful career and they were very happy for a long time.”

Merlin as a husband and father were the farthest roles that Harry and Eggsy could imagine him in. The brusk, often testy, disagreeable scotsman, with all the warmth of a potato, with a wife and children.

Gwendolyn continued with her story. Pausing after a long stretch for a sip of her scotch, but for the most part, continuously and without any interruption from the two men. They were both a bit stupefied that one of their closest, most respected and trusted colleagues had an entire past of which they had no knowledge.

—

Hamish was smitten at first glance. On Evelyn’s side, it was more appropriate to say that she tolerated his presence . And even that was putting things kindly. Eventually, he was able to win her over with his rough Scottish brogue, his biting sense of humour and dry wit. Underneath the sarcasm and abrupt, even gruff personality, she sensed a very kind soul who possessed a good heart. It was simply being protected by a shield designed to keep people at arms length.

Though as handler and operative, there could be no shields. There could not be even a hairs breadth distance between a team, let alone an arms length. The operative’s life was literally in the hands of the handler. If they weren’t working, existing, breathing as one, it would be only a matter of time until the operative would find himself in a position where he needed his handler, but the handler wouldn’t be able to provide. Or the agent, not fully trusting his handler, withheld crucial information, therefore setting up his handler to fail in the case where he needs life threatening assistance. These relationships often ended in the death of the operative, as he had to fully entrust not only the capability of his handler, but also fully trust the person behind his earpiece. The relationship had to be based, on not only on professional compatibility, but on a personal and emotional connection as well.  Whatever jesting nature, or standoffish front either of them first presented to each other dissolved when they were on mission. The trust was profound. It was scary to know the circumstances they had been through together and how much each of them put their lives in the hands of the other.

Their relationship was highly personal, intense, and emotional. The nature of their relationship was a powerful force behind their choice to be together and to devote their loyalties to a single agency, with a singular mission, to preserve life and to protect the innocent. However, this often resulted in taking out some very bad, very large, very powerful players off the world’s stage. When they both proved themselves more than capable individually, and even beyond exceptional as a team, they were brought on to the Maximum Threat, Maximum Risk Special Operations Division, or MTMR.

The MTMR, only dealt with the worst of the worst, and then the unthinkable of the worst. These were the terrorists, the warlords, those with enough power and influence to bypass almost any law, any treaty and any world decree. Those who would violate human rights and the rules of engagement. They were the worst of the worst, but also the lowest of the low. In their eyes, life was a commodity to be traded, abused or without value and discarded at will. This is what happened when psychopaths achieved power. Without empathy, without a conscious, without a sense of right or wrong or any moral accountability, without any value of life. These were the most dangerous and most difficult enemies to engage. Not only could they commit the most horrible atrocities, they were usually narcissists as well, dynamic, charismatic, even charming. Therefore, their inner circle was comprised of sycophants who provided his narcissistic supply. They eliminated those that were either immune to their charms, or were beginning to understand the true nature of their personality, which was that of a very highly functioning psychopath.

In this division, Hamish did not operate in the field, but joined Evelyn in strategic planning and outcomes. They worked as a team. Hamish, with his knowledge of the field as a Special Operations Officer, possessed the skills to operate weapons and explosives, to take on missions to gather intelligence and destroy targets in hostile environments. He knew the dangers, the variables, the best strategies.

Evelyn provided critical thinking.  She had the ability to predict outcomes, to make the most difficult life and death decisions without hesitation and be a leader to her team . The pair became an invaluable asset to the division. It was proof to them, when the agency acknowledged their value, not as separate agents, not as a handler and operative, but as a team, that they could be in the world of espionage as husband and wife with a family. The agency saw that their success was based on not only their expertise, but BECAUSE of, not despite their relationship. The closeness, the sheer absolute trust that they had in each other, and their love kept them committed to each other and their work. They experienced both a fulfilling family life and successful professional life for longer than anyone could hope for in their line of work.

During their successful tenure in the MTMR Special Ops, one operation took precedence over all others. They were both actively involved, not only in gathering intel, but in the entire intelligence cycle.  First, with planning, identifying possible threats and what they needed to know about the threat with world leaders and decision makers. Collection, which was the division they both began in, the physical collection of target information through operations. Analysis, examining the new information, looking for connections, key points, new developments, and combining it with what they already knew, creating useful and actionable intelligence. Lastly, was Dissemination, where the new intelligence was discussed with politicians and decision makers who then decided whether to take action or if more information was needed.

It was during one of these cycles, where Evelyn and Hamish were assigned as head officers of a mission. It was a mission that resulted from intel that their team had collected, analysed and produced. The target was an international underground world leader, not of any established or recognised government. He threatened to destabilise society. Not through government or any means of authority. He wasn’t targeting positions of leadership. He wasn’t engaging in the trickle down theory. He was starting at the bottom. First, was taking out crops, tainting water supplies, poisoning livestock. He did not bother with small areas. He targeted the largest ones. Locations with the most impact and the widest effect.  Civil unrest was next. Which turned into peaceful demonstrations. Then came active protest. Followed by violent protest. Then it was rioting, looting. And when fear took hold, it was domestic terrorism. He was using the countries own people to destabilise the structure, the foundation of civilisation, which was based on people working together.

Apparently, he was not one to follow the saying, “The fish rots from the head down.” Meaning that without sound leadership, the people will eventually turn bad and die off. When in actuality, the guts, the contents of the fish begins to rot first. Perhaps the warlord followed this philosophy. Corrupt the innovators, the providers, the creators of sustenance, essentially the life givers, and civilised society will begin to rot from, not the head down, but from the inside out.

In conjunction with the US, the British Armed Forces and other key international allies, they were able to coordinate an airstrike. It was successful in so much that they destroyed their enemies home base, their world HQ and well as almost all of their high level leadership. However, they missed their main target. Also on the strike list, was the home of Azal Aamon, which was where he was supposed to be at the time of the strike. His family, wife and two children were to be collateral damage. Unfortunate, but sometimes unavoidable in times of war. But after reviewing the DNA evidence to confirm the targets as deceased, his family was identified, but Aamon’s DNA was not found. No one had knowledge of how he was able to avoid or survive the attack. The last piece of intel that they had verified, was his location at the time of fire.

———

Inside the Black Prince, Gwendolyn paused. She reached for her drink, lifted the glass to her lips, and took a small sip. Harry saw her jaw working as she let the scotch rest on her palate, allowing it to reach all the areas of her tongue so she could appreciate its aromatic notes before she swallowed.  It was a gesture he was familiar with, one that he made every time he enjoyed his own drink, but it was especially interesting to see this decidedly, he was not a sexist in any way, shape or form, but this particularly male gesture take shape on her extremely feminine and delicate face. He felt decidedly uncomfortable. So he simply took her lead and followed suit with a swallow of his own. As did Eggsy, who was leaning forward at this point, his elbows on the table and his tie even more undone, as were the few top buttons of his shirt. Harry as always, remained properly attired.

She looked at both of them, her eyes inquiring, silently asking if they had any questions, if they needed any clarifications, to see if they understood. To confirm that they believed her.

Harry was particularly intrigued. Out of all the coincidences that seemed to be happening, he knew precisely, the mission she was referring to. The British Armed Forces did take part in the Aamon mission and he knew this because he was part of the BAF at that time.  He had been directly involved in the operations side of the mission. How was it possible that he had this experience in common with Merlin and it never came up in conversation? He thought back to the rare times where they would share stories, sometimes while waiting out a mission, or after a successful one, over a drink just like this. He recalled sharing a few stories from his time in the military, but thinking back, could not recall a single instance that Merlin even mentioned his time in the army, or anything really prior his employment with Kingsman. Harry only knew that he had been military. Out of all the possible connections that they had, one of the biggest ones that they shared remained unknown until after his death.

Gwendoyn was regarding him thoughtfully, knowing that he had made some kind of connection or realisation, but she didn’t mention it and he was grateful. He tipped his head, asking her to please continue.

“As you can imagine, this was seen as a failed mission on paper, since they did not terminate their main target. But in many ways it was a huge success. An operation of this scale, with multiple targets on the board, with international military and intelligence coordination, with minimal collateral damage, is typically unheard of, and my parents were honoured to have lead their intelligence division. I’m not sure if Kingsman participates in this particular tradition, but after high risk missions of this nature, officers and operatives, if it is feasible, are offered time off, mostly to decompress. The agency is aware that if their officers and operatives work at that level of intensity for prolonged periods of time, they will burn out. It’s not possible to sustain that level of stress at length without a chance to wind down.”

It was quiet. Gwendolyn has stopped speaking. Harry could see that she was taking time to collect her thoughts again. He wasn’t sure why she needed to. She was recalling a very complicated and personal story with an eloquence, a clarity and a dignity that he respected very much. She wasn’t just reminiscing about a story, reciting history, or a past event. Their comprehension was important to her. This wasn’t about her “getting something off of her chest”. He had the feeling that she could be very happy never having to say any of these words ever again. She wasn’t looking for support or understanding. She was making sure that THEY understood her story. It wasn’t sympathy for her that she wanted. She was looking for absorbtion  Particularly from Harry. Most likely because he had the longest relationship with Merlin. But she was fixing him with a very intense gaze that he was not quite sure what to do with.

Harry already felt a particular sadness. He knew where this story was heading. He might not know the specifics yet, but you didn’t need to be a spy to know there was no happy ending for her. Out of a family that was once a mother, a father, and two brothers, this woman was the only one sitting in front of them. His respect for her was growing with each moment. He was feeling quite sorry now, for treating her so roughly.

She picked up her story, dusted it a little, found where she left off and resumed. Her voice became detached once again, but her words never faltered.

“We were all on break. Because they both got time off, that meant the whole family was on break. It was very rare for us. For the family, for me, those times were very special.  I don’t remember many other times we had that kind of chance. Of course, outings were still agency outings. I was really too small at the time, six, but that was our life. I didn’t know any different then. But my parents, because of their positions, were at high risk for retaliation and we always had protection with us. My brothers and I had protocol, even back then. No speaking to strangers, at all. Never speaking about my parents, never offering any personal information. Never giving out my name. If we were ever to get lost, we were never to ask for them or speak their names. We had one number to call and it was not even theirs. It was the agency’s number, created just for us to have in case of an emergency. There was actually a person whose job it was to be prepared if they ever received a call from us. Very few people, and only those with high security clearance, had information about our family. We were referred to as assets. Not by our names.”

As she continued, The more emotion left her voice, the more matter of fact she became, as she became more composed, more stoic, Harry felt his sadness slowly turn into inevitable dread. He was also aware of the second mission that followed up the first air strike. He was also assigned operations support for the BAF’s involvement. He had heard stories about what had happened at intelligence HQ, but never anything confirmed. If she had been involved in that, it was worse than he thought.

------

Look for future posts :) If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Feedback, likes and reblogs are always helpful and much appreciated. If you have a chance, would love to hear your thoughts!

[nevergiveupneverrun]

Bodyguard - Chapter Forty-Two “The price of my promise”

Hello everybody, how are you? Here is chapter Forty-Two of my Story Bodyguard. I’m sorry I didn’t post for a decade but I had a lot of work to do... Now, the new chapter is ready so let’s go!

I’m sorry in advance for the mistakes… English isn’t my first language and I do my best. Here is the link to the previous chapter: Click Here.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) 💛

                               –––––––––––––––––––––––

Eighth awakening in the chalet of my childhood.

But a particular awakening because it will be the last: I had decided the night before that it was time to go down to Seattle, Nathan having found an apartment with all the necessary security features. 

The feeling that greets me for this day is a mixture of apprehension and regret.

The return to Seattle was inevitable, we could not hide here indefinitely especially that officially Amelia had left to relax after the death of Richard. The threat to her was still unknown to the general public and the media, and a prolonged absence would have been difficult to justify. 

To return to Seattle was to find the “playground” of the crazy: his observations, his messages… even his actions. The last one was quite tragic so I would be twice as alert and focused. I was hoping for one thing only, the next time he acts, I’m here at the right time to stop him or play my role as protector… until the end.

Regret was also mingled: regret to leave this soothing and quiet atmosphere that offered us this remote locality of Canada.

Who had offered me a bubble of serenity that I had been deprived for many years… not to mention the complicity that was created with Amelia.

Our relationship was no longer the same.

The barriers had fallen.

The barriers are visible first of all with this familiarity that now reigned in our exchanges. 

And the barriers that are less easy to detect but which are present in more frequent, more natural contacts… until this unexpected kiss of the day before.

I tried to chase these seconds of my mind but it is clear that this moment came back to me regularly. And stirred up a whole series of questions about myself and Amelia… but I buried this event in the back of my mind, putting it on the account of spontaneity. Reducing it to a gesture where I did not have to read any particular meaning…

I close the wardrobe of my room by removing my leather jacket.

I take a last look in this room that has marked many memories of my childhood.

A burst of light then captures my gaze on my coffee table.

I go forward and my fingers automatically draw the piece of metal in question.

I slide my fingers on the chain on which this object was clinging.

I watch it for long seconds.

I had always left it on this small piece of furniture.

At this place.

Having never had a reason to change it. To use it.

Until now…

A smile spontaneously appears on my face, as I place the object in my jean pocket and I leave the room closing behind me.

I quickly perceive noise in the living room and go down the stairs.

I see Amelia back leaning over the coffee table.

She is dressed in jeans and a white lace tank top.

I notice clothes on the couch behind her while a lively sound of tape echoes in the room. 

- Do you need help? I asked as I came up to her while posing my jacket against the edge of the sofa.

She had just closed a box and a second was open in front of her, ready to be filled. As we travel by motorbike, we had to leave with few belongings, a backpack at most. I had told Amelia that she could make boxes with the clothes and things she wanted to bring back to Seattle. Boxes that we would send to Nathan’s office to avoid any leak on the new address of Amelia… we are never too careful…

- Yes, if you want. Can you write the address on the box while I fill the second? She suggests to me in a smile.

- No problem. I’m doing this for you.

I move the box on the side of the coffee table and get the marker pen next.

I write the address that I knew by heart while watching Amelia fold clothes to place them in the second box. I recognize a dress she bought at the market and the sweater she holds in her hands captures my attention. What she immediately notices.

- Uh…yes… I wanted to ask you… in addition to the two dresses that I have already worn, I spotted this sweater and two tops that belonged to your mother, she said showing me the clothes in question. Do you allow me… well… I mean, it doesn’t bother you… I understand you want them to stay here and nobody wears them…

She is obviously embarrassed by asking me: her gaze flees mine and her words are hesitant. She was particularly touching in those moments. 

- You don’t need to ask me for permission. If you like them, take them…

- Are you sure? You might want someone else to benefit?

- And who would you like me to reserve these clothes for? You’re the only person who knows this place… and who saw my mother’s creations… except for Rosie.

She looks at me for a moment, as if she still doubts her gesture.

To support my words, I decide to go beyond the words and gently take the sweater she holds in the hands and I put it in the box by raising the eyes directly to her in a smile.

- Thank you, she whispers, smiling back to me.

She focuses on the clothes on the couch and puts them in the box on the coffee table.

- You’ll have those two little boxes to send?

- Yes, just those two. I don’t really have the dressing of a princess you know, she replies in a laugh.

- You’ll quickly fix that back in Seattle.

- I don’t really need it anyway. Especially when I see the wonders that I will be able to carry thanks to the talent of your mother… perfectly to my size. It’s amazing, chance makes things right.

- Chance or something else, I whispered.

Amelia scrutinizes me after my remark but I remain immersed in my thoughts.

I never really believed at the chance: for me, everything happened for a reason.

The death of my father, it was a trial to punish me for my lack of gratitude and my carelessness. Just like my mother’s. Trials that had made sense to me for my life: giving my life for others. For my country first of all. Then for people in danger by protecting them. And all that had revealed to me our stay in this place so important to my past had given me a certain conviction: my meeting with Amelia was not trivial…

- Something else? She finally asks me after a few seconds while closing the box in front of her.

- Do you believe in destiny Amelia?

She looks at me with big eyes and then laughs weakly.

- Destiny? Are you serious?

- Well, I have my answer, you’re not a fan of the concept, I answer, smiling slightly.

- Saw my story you know, I don’t really want to tell me that all the misfortunes and all the difficulties that I lived were planned in advance. It would mean that someone up there, is really annoyed with me or plays with a little voodoo doll to my effigy.

- Should I include myself in the difficulties that you quote? I asked with a teasing air.

- No… of course not… she resumed quickly while I make her a false look shocked. You, it’s… different… I didn’t want to hurt you.

- I’m kidding Amelia, I answer laughingly.

- You’re making fun of me, she said, tapping my shoulder. You take a lot of liberties, Mr. Hunt, I think, you would never be allowed you to do that to me a few weeks ago.

- And you preferred before Miss Shepherd?

She looks down at the box, then takes it off with a big smile.

- No, I prefer a thousand times… now, she says. But watch out for yourself! And for the trouble, you’ll tape up me this box and put the address, she adds while slipping into the kitchen in a slight laugh.

I watch her go away while smiling.

I end up looking down at the box in front of me: I tape it and write the address as she had asked me.

I put the two boxes next to each other and join Amelia in the kitchen.

She is facing the bar, a glass of orange juice in her hand which she takes a sip.

- The boxes are ready. Do you have other things to finish?

She puts her empty glass in front of her before answering me.

- No, I already filled the backpack with two, three things I wanted to take.

- Okay, so you’re more or less ready to take the road?

- Yes, I am ready, just my jacket to recover. Even if…

I approach her by putting myself directly to her side, intrigued by this remark that she doesn’t finish.

- Even if…what?

She remains silent for a few seconds, eyes down and then finds my eyes.

- I would like to stay here, she finally whispered.

- Amelia, you know we can not stay here indefinitely…

- And why not? She insists with a touch of defiance in her eyes.

- Because your life is in Seattle…

- I can change my life, she announces without hesitation. 

- Your music and your career, it can not be done here… you’re not going to tell me that you want to stop the music anyway?

She stares at me but doesn’t respond directly… a shock for me.

- Amelia? You don’t seriously consider what I ask you?

- No, but I think about it sometimes… and more and more with what happened…

- But it would show him that he won if you did that. So we’ll go back to Seattle and you’ll go back to your life, your career, go on stage and prover to him that you are the strongest.

- But… I was fine here…

- And you can come back. And when you want, when this story with this crazy will be over…

- I would not bother you…

- You will not bother me because you will be free to come… without me…

- Without you?

I smiled at her before plunging my right hand into the pocket of my jeans and removing the object I had installed a few minutes earlier before leaving my room.

I take hold of Amelia’s left hand and slide this object into her open palm.

- With that, it will be more convenient, I explained.

She lowers her eyes to her hand, then instantly looks up at me.

Wide-eyes. As stunned.

- It’s…it’s a key to the house?

- Yes, it’s the third key of the chalet. I have one. Rosie has the second. And instead of letting this copy sit idly on my coffee table, I thought it would be more useful to you.

She listens to my words, but I have the impression that she doesn’t hear me.

Her face is gradually falling and watching this key in her hand.

- The house is not entitled to so many visits, and it will be good if there is a little more life.

A silence settles between us and the fact that I don’t distinguish her face makes me uncomfortable. This proposition was ultimately perhaps a bad idea, given her lack of reaction.

- I thought you liked it a lot here, that’s why I thought you might want to come back but you don’t have to take it…

I felt a little stupid at this moment, to justify myself and then try to go back on this idea that had seemed perfect a few minutes earlier… when the face of Amelia reappears.

Unveiling a completely unexpected image with bright eyes where I detect nascent tears.

- Hey… I didn’t want to make you cry…

- Excuse me… it’s stupid, but I’ve never… been lucky enough to have a special place like this… where I know I can take refuge, rest… it was only when I was an adult that I had a “real” home, but it was still different, because I was quickly in the spotlight, not really in anonymity… so this key that you offer me means a lot to me… but I’m not sure I can accept…

- What would stop you?

- It’s your story, Owen… your house… not mine…

- Well, you know this story, you know this house and you knew how to appreciate it and I would like you to take refuge there if you need it. So do me a favor and accept that key, okay? And above all, feel free to come back here whenever you want…

She wipes the corner of her wet eyes with her fingertips and then makes her look back and forth between this key and my face.

She ends up passing the chain around her neck, letting the key slip under her tank top, while placing a hand against the piece of metal now in contact with her skin.

- I’ve never been offered something like that… something so strong… whereas I’ve never had the pleasure of having a real family, and there you offer me almost that…

- I told you that you had to get used to living new things, right?

She nods, while approaching a little more of me, until invaded my space a few millimeters in front of me.

- That’s what scares me… I get used to these things too easily with you…

I watch her in front of me, my attention fixed oddly on her mouth as she speaks.

She moves her head a little more towards me and then speaks again in a weak voice, almost like a whisper.

- You told me that the moment you should let me sound as obvious… but the problem is that I don’t even consider this moment… because it is your presence near me that is become obvious… my dependence…

Given her proximity, I feel her breath near me, her smell fills my nostrils, the warmth of her presence shine in front of me.

- What makes me deserve such attention?

She looks at me intensely.

Her question echoes in me, but I can not think of the last answer.  As if my brain was paused, paralyzed by the stimuli that resonate all around me.

Her eyes support mine and I almost felt she was trying to read inside me, to find that answer that I did not express her.

I suddenly feel her right hand shyly pose on my shirt against my chest, then slide gently back against me.

I see her face erase the millimeters that separate us, get dangerously closer to mine.

But I am incapable of the slightest movement, as hypnotized by her, and by the slightest gesture that she initiates.

And when the softness of her lips falls on mine, I welcome her without résistance. 

Captivated by this contact that awakens the stealthy sensations of the day before.

But this time, they do not disappear as fast: our mouths are connected for several seconds… several seconds during which they guess and then activate slightly.

I forget all the surrounds me except for that sensation of her lips which constitute my only reference point in the real… a reference that I want to prolong… that I do not want to lose.

The ringing of the entrance sounds suddenly and my conscience is revived immediately… violently…

I pull myself away from Amelia, surprised to notice that one of my hands slipped on her back to hold her against me during this moment.

The reality of what just happened between us strikes me in the face.

I avoid her gaze and rush towards the front door.

I breathe a big blow before opening as if to get a grip on myself.

It’s Rosie revealing herself behind the door.

- Hello Owen, you’re still here, I was afraid you were already gone! She exclaims, taking me in her arms.

- Hello Rosie, I answer weakly.

- I see you’re on the start, I arrived on time, I wanted to make you a kiss… Owen?

She looks at me with big eyes, I must have looked completely in the clouds at the moment.

- Yes… uh, actually we will leave in the next few minutes, it’s nice of you to be here.

- And where do you hide Amelia? She continues smiling.

- I’m here Rosie, announces Amelia advancing in the room.

- Hello Amelia, Rosie answers by kissing her.

Rosie detaches herself from Amelia for a few moments, then stares at her.

- You have a fabulous mine this morning, sweetie… I see that the stay has done you good…

Rosie’s remark leads me to look at Amelia naturally, who observes me in return.

- Yeah, this stay will remain unforgettable, she says, staring at me.

- This house has always worked miracles to demonstrate to all who live in it how beautiful life is, says Rosie.

Rosie’s last words bring me back to the promise I made to April as I notice Amelia nodding at her words.

Did I actually succeed and honor my promise?

But at what price?

Tingling runs through my lips.

The memory of the kiss that had just been exchanged.

At what price?

At the price of a different relationship between us.

Incredibly dangerous.

Destabilizing the bodyguard and completely cracking the man I am.

As a new test of destiny…

                               –––––––––––––––––––––––

Thank you for reading. Tell me what you think and have a great weekend 💛

[neuxue]

Wheel of Time liveblogging: The Gathering Storm ch 38

Egwene faces some important questions and understands some important things and it’s all lovely and then the last page BLOWS IT ALL AWAY HOLY SHIT THAT’S A THING THAT JUST HAPPENED

Chapter 38: News in Tel’aran’rhiod

Egwene! This seems like an appropriate POV shift after the last chapter(s). Chapter, mostly. It fits, because of course Rand and Egwene parallel each other in many ways, as I have no doubt already bored you to death with on multiple occasions, but an Egwene chapter seems like perhaps the only way to follow…*waves nervously in the direction of the previous chapter* that, because while there are many many parallels between these two, the difference – as I have also no doubt bored you to death with on multiple occasions – is in their mindsets, and in how they approach those parallel events and issues and obstacles. And so to go from one to the other is (probably) a good way to transition in a way that provides a smooth continuity as well as a marked contrast.

I say all of this having read exactly one word of this chapter, so maybe I should not be getting ahead of myself.

So Egwene is locked in a cell, which means this is definitely not a perfect awful things to happy delightful things tone shift, but then, I wasn’t really expecting it to be. I’m expecting more of a ‘this is what I must do and so I will do it even as it damns me’ burning of hundreds of people from existence to a ‘this is my situation and I will do all that is in my power to bring something good from it because that is the choice I have made’ resistance-but-also-healing from within tone shift.

The conversation thus far looks something like this:

Siuan: “Let’s stage a prison break.” Egwene: “No.” Siuan: “Aw, come on, you’re no fun anymore.”

Lightly paraphrased, of course.

Siuan: “Also they might kill you.” Egwene: “…point.”

So at least Siuan gets to plan a prison break. She should get Gawyn on board; it might keep him occupied. Or at least keep him from fucking everything up (again).

“If Elaida cows them, she will act quickly. The woman’s punishments can be swift as a stormwind, take you unaware. I know that for certain.”

“If that happens,” Egwene said pointedly, “my death would be a victory. Elaida would be the one who gave up, not I.”

And so here we have another of those not-quite-parallels not-quite-inversions between Egwene and Rand. It’s the way they both currently view the possibility of their death. Neither sees it as a defeat, or as something to fear. Both see it, to some extent, as a form of victory. But while Rand arrives at that thought through despair and self-loathing and pain he has had to endure for too long, and sees it as something he deserves and as the best he can hope for – an ending – Egwene sees it as an affirmation of agency. If she dies, she dies in power. If she dies it is because she has chosen not to give up her fight, not to put down the burdens she has taken on. If she dies it is a victory, not because she seeks death or an ending, but because it would ensure that her goals are furthered and hopefully achieved. Rand wants to die because he no longer looks to a future; Egwene will willingly die if it means saving the future she works towards. Rand sees it as his fate; Egwene sees it as her choice.

“An old acquaintance of yours recently arrived in camp.”

“Really?” Egwene asked absently. “Who?”

“Gawyn Trakand.”

Sigh. Please just break up with him; you deserve so much better.

On the other hand, at least she knows he’s there – given how communication in this series usually goes, I’m almost surprised. And if she knows he’s there, she can take that into account. Or send a message to him to mind his own business for a little while. Or something.

She managed to keep her form locked into that of the Amyrlin, however, and forced her thoughts back to the moment, driving herself to be casual as she responded. “Gawyn?” she asked. “How odd. I wouldn’t have thought to find him there.”

Siuan smiled. “That was nicely handled,” she said. “Though you paused too long, and when you did ask for him, you were overly uninterested. That made you easy to read.”

“Light blind you,” Egwene said. “Another test?”

A good test, though. Or maybe that’s just me – I like these sorts of things, even if this feels more Sanderson than Jordan to me. Still, it’s absolutely the sort of thing Siuan would ensure Egwene knew: how to mask her true reactions one way or another, and deceive the messenger without truly lying.

I suppose it’s also good that Egwene still has reactions and emotions, unlike SOME PEOPLE I COULD NAME. It’s one thing to hide them; it’s another to rm -rf the whole damn system.

“I should think that the time for testing me has passed.”

“Everyone you meet will always be testing you, Mother,” Siuan said. “You must be prepared for surprises; at any moment someone could throw one at you just to see how you respond.”

That is very, very good advice. Harsh, perhaps, but true. Hers is not a role or position that allows her to take her guard down. Ever, really.

Also that reeks of foreshadowing.

“Gawyn hasn’t said much that I could hear. I think he’s here because he heard that you were captured. He arrived with a spectacular flurry, but now he stays in Bryne’s command post, visiting the Aes Sedai regularly. He’s mulling over something; keeps going to speak to Romanda and Lelaine.”

“That’s troubling.”

That’s an understatement.

For Egwene’s reasons too, I suppose. I was thinking more about the extraordinary potential Gawyn carries in his pocket to make a mess of things, but it’s true that the implication here of divisions in the camp is…a problem.

Not a new problem, but a growing one.

Romanda on one side, Lelaine on the other, with a shrinking slice that doesn’t want to take sides.

Hey it’s a fractal! The Aes Sedai split in rough thirds between Elaida, Egwene, and Option C; then one of those groups split into rough thirds between Romanda and Lelaine…okay sorry I’ll stop.

*definitely does not start drawing out the Fractal of Aes Sedai Uncooperation*

The Tower may be fracturing along Ajah lines, but the rebels are not free from division and discord themselves. And truly healing the Tower means finding a way to bring allof those together.

“Factions and breaks,” Egwene said, getting up. “Infighting and squabbling. We are better than this, Siuan.”

Or she’ll make them be better than this, by sheer force of will.

It’s hard for any group to remain truly unified towards a single purpose, though, especially when there’s power involved. Just look at…uh…literally anywhere in the entire world.

And in this particular world, Rand’s trying to hold nations together but has just failed to establish a truce with the Seanchan. Egwene’s trying to bring the Tower together, but even her own faction is threatening to splinter apart. There is a greater threat, and they all need to be united to face it, but that’s countered by all the forces of division, all the disagreements and differences of opinion and outright hostilities. So this is where people like Egwene and Rand come in, or should, but that is far from an easy task.

For now, Egwene’s about to lay down the law for the Hall. They should know by now that this rarely ends with anything other than Egwene getting her way, so we could just skip the whole ordeal and go straight to that end result, no? No. Alright. Fine.

“I worry about how hard you’re pushing yourself. The Amyrlin needs to learn to ration her strength; some in your place have failed not because they lacked the capacity for greatness, but because they stretched that capacity too thin, sprinting when they should have walked.”

It’s like a version of or variation on Nynaeve’s talk with Rand in A Conversation with the Dragon. A softer version, perhaps, because Egwene isn’t tearing away her own humanity piece by piece, but she is in her way giving everything she has and sparing very little for herself. It is how she has always been; Egwene does not do things halfway. She throws herself in wholeheartedly, even when there is a risk. She does not let herself rest, does not pace herself.

And yet…well, we all know how I think this ends. One of the things I’ve suspected for a long time about this series is that Egwene will not survive it. And in a way, if I’m right, it would be yet another parallel/inversion between her and Rand. I think Rand, who thinks he must sacrifice everything he is, and who longs for the ending of death, will find a way to live, and perhaps to find himself again. Because death is something he seeks out of despair and fatigue and self-hatred. Whereas Egwene…this is who she is.

There are some lines she has to draw between Egwene al’Vere and the Amyrlin Seat, and she’s had to change to fill that role, but she hasn’t torn away parts of herself to do that. She’s grown, and become more herself. She has made these choices and embraced what they require. It’s not a rejection but rather an affirmation of self, and while as a result she may feel pain, she does not inflict it upon herself, nor does she see it as something she deserves. Egwene does not hold back or fragment herself to try to preserve some part of herself. And so it would be true to her character to give everything, including her life, and to do so willingly. It would be fitting for her, because it would be a choice, and true to everything she is, whereas for Rand it would be…not defeat, precisely, but certainly not triumph. Because for him it would not be a choice so much as it would be the only way out of something he never truly chose. Victory – or maybe fulfilment? I can’t think of quite the right word – for him would be getting to be himself in the end; getting to have a life he chooses, getting to live free of this fate that was set upon him. Whereas victory – or fulfilment – for Egwene may well be to be absolutely herself at the end, to hold nothing back and to give her life for the world.

So…yeah, I worry about her pushing herself too hard as well. I just don’t think she’s going to stop doing that. I think it will very likely mean her death. But if that’s the case, I also don’t think it would be a…meaningless death. It would be one of those sad-but-not-tragic sorts of deaths. Where it’s sad but in its own way it’s a kind of fulfilment of character.

Or I could be wrong.

That’s always a very strong possibility.

“My days are spent in solitude, with the occasional beating to provide spice. These meetings at night help me survive.”

“Is it difficult to endure?” Siuan asked softly.

‘Well, I’m kept in a cell that is essentially a box and beaten regularly but nah, this is fine’.

(Egwene does a better This Is Fine than I do).

Then again, it’s hardly her first captivity. But where Rand’s subsequent captivities only made his fear of confinement worse and dragged him even deeper into distrust and hardening himself, Egwene has – unsurprisingly, given how these two characters’ arcs relate – gone in almost the opposite direction.

Egwene’s response to being collared – and the way she reacted when freed from it – was similar to Rand’s response to the box. Different in scale, because one happened in book 2, when Egwene was still just coming into her power an done happened in book 6, when…well…They will pay. I am the Lord of the Morning. But while Egwene definitely still carries some of that trauma and resulting fear of being collared, this doesn’t compound that. In part, it helps that it’s not the same kind of captivity. But it also helps that she sees a purpose in it; this is a part of the war she’s fighting, and she does it for the White Tower. She embraces pain because there is a reason for it – not because on some level she believes she deserves it. She embraces it so that she can endure it, but does not use it as a form of self-flagellation in order to harden herself. She instead learns to accept it. And she doesn’t tell herself ‘this is what comes of trusting’ or ‘this is what comes of not being strong enough’. She doesn’t internalise it, even as she embraces it.

Because she has chosen this.

“It just occurred to me. This is what it must have been like for Rand. No, worse. The stories say he was locked in a box smaller than my cell. At least I can spend part of the evenings chatting with you. He had nobody. He was without the belief that his beatings meant something.”

Oh Egwene. There’s something so…almost cathartic about seeing her say this, seeing her understand. Because that puts her in a group of maybe…one or two other people? And she gets to the heart of it in a way, but understanding that fundamental difference between their situations: he was alone, and without the reassurance that this served a purpose. Whereas she can hold to that, and she can reach out to some of her support base, and know that there is a reason for her pain.

It’s a rather perfect illustration of the whole ‘parallels but inversions’ pattern of their storylines – there’s a very obvious point of similarity in that they’re both held in a box and beaten (at Elaida’s direction, no less)…but that’s where the similarities end. And that’s how so much of their stories have been: points of similarity in terms of the situation, and then nearly opposite approaches or responses to it.

Also this is lovely because it shows so clearly how  she still cares about Rand, even if the Dragon Reborn is a problem to be dealt with.  

“Each day I endure is another proof that Elaida’s will is notlaw. She cannot break me. Her support from the others is eroding. Trust me.”

Siuan nodded. “Very well,” she said, rising. “You are Amyrlin.”

And here we have the value of strength rather than hardness. Rand smiled when he was taken out of the box and beaten, but it was the hardest thing he had ever done; it was a brittle sort of defiance, because he was being broken. He had no one but Lews Therin and nothing to hold on to except the belief that this is what comes of trusting Aes Sedai and so he tried to endure but it was such a brittle endurance. Whereas Egwene can draw strength from those she trusts, because she still has those connections. Egwene can embrace pain knowing it serves her purpose. And so Egwene cannot be broken this way. She’s not grimacing in defiance and desperately holding on; she’s suffering but her belief and determination and sense of self are intact.

“I always believed you had potential,” Siuan corrected. “Well, you’ve fulfilled it. Some of it at least. Enough of it. However this storm blows through, you’ve proven one thing. You deservedthe place you hold.”

It’s a nice moment, and yet another sense of a character’s growth completed or all but completed, a readying for the ending. They’re all coming into who they are, who they have been becoming for the last eleven books.

Well.

Rand is something of a special case. He’s also reaching what feels like the culmination of a path he’s been on since almost the beginning, but in his case it’s a nadir rather than an apex. And yet, I think that’s a necessary step in his case, the darkest hour before the dawn.

Egwene is, rather understandably, reluctant to leave Tel’aran’rhiod because embracing pain is all well and good but there’s no reason to hurry back to it if you don’t have to.

I feel the same way waking up on Monday mornings.

Egwene had long since stopped being unnerved by the eerie lack of people in Tel’aran’rhiod. But this camp was different somehow. It looked as a war camp might after all the soldiers had been slaughtered on the battlefield. Deserted, yet still a banner to proclaim the lives of those who had occupied it. Egwene felt as if she could see the division that Siuan had talked about, tents clumped together like bunches of sprouting flowers.

The strength of the rebel camp is waning, with Egwene no longer there to hold the centre. Deserted but with a banner to proclaim those who occupied it is pretty much right on the nose. They’re still ostensibly holding to their position, but without the impetus or heart she provided. It’s a brittle thing, now, a hollow rebellion. She doesn’t have much time.

Because this is a part of the division of the Tower – it is divided within itself and against itself, and so long as there is division, there will be weakness. If she is to unite it, she must unite the whole Tower; she held the rebels together for a time, but that’s not enough when there’s a greater division still unhealed.

It was healthy to have the women planning and preparing; the trouble was when they began to regard others of their kind as enemies, rather than just rivals.

You could expand that to all of humanity at this point, Egwene.

And this is where I sort of wonder if maybe…could Egwene be the one to finally achieve a treaty or some kind of peace with the Seanchan? They’re moving on the Tower and she’s trying to unite the Tower from within and she very much has a history with the Seanchan – she’s the first of the main characters to have such a history – and it would be a way of bringing a sort of closure to that part of her arc. A way of healing or moving on from what was done to her, and laying the foundations for something better.

So what if their attack on the Tower is a way for her to unite the Aes Sedai, but then a chance to perhaps offer the Seanchan a truce rather than defeat? What if Elaida’s Foretelling about Rand facing the Amyrlin and knowing her anger is tied in some way to the dual but opposite prophecies of Rand binding the nine moons to serve him and the Dragon Reborn kneeling before the Crystal Throne?

And if that’s how the attack is thwarted, if she ends it by forging some kind of truce between them, it would be a rallying point for the Tower around her as well, because she would be the one who not only foretold this attack but saved them from it and future ones…

Rand failed to make peace with the Seanchan, and his and Egwene’s arcs have so long been this series of parallels and opposites, so it would be fitting for this to be another one. Rand to walk calmly to peace talks and everything to fall apart as both sides immediately turn to their own attacks afterwards, and Egwene to face a battle and come out with a peace treaty. There would be a very nice symmetry to something like that.

What if the White Tower didn’t unseat Elaida? What if, despite Egwene’s progress, the rifts between the Ajahs never healed? What then? Go to war?

There was another option, one that none of them had brought up: that of giving up on reconciliation permanently. Setting up a second White Tower. It would mean leaving the Aes Sedai broken, perhaps forever. Egwene shuddered at the prospect, and her skin itched, rebelling against the thought.

But what if she had no other choice? She had to consider the ramifications, and she found them daunting.

Yeah that’s about as much a solution as balefiring a fortress is mercy. But it’s a sign of how much she’s grown and matured that Egwene forces herself to consider the possibility of failure, and to actually think through what it would mean. What the other options are. What she’s committing herself to, and what will happen if she doesn’t succeed. Because she could fail. She’s about as determined as it’s possible for a person to be, but she’s not infallible, and there are things she cannot control, and it could all still go wrong. So she forces herself to face what that would look like. Even here, locked in a cell. Even as she has to hold fast to the belief that her pain means something. Because she also has to look at the possibility that it won’t.

Also…the Aes Sedai have been broken since the Breaking of the World, really. Ever since the male Aes Sedai went mad and saidar was left unbalanced by tainted saidin. And there is a second tower already: the Black Tower. The Asha’man, separate from the Aes Sedai.

She would bring the White Tower Aes Sedai to her side. Elaida wouldfall. But if not…then Egwene would do what was necessary in order to preserve the people, and the world, in the face of Tarmon Gai’don.

Determination and conviction, but that undercurrent now of pragmatism and realism. It’s not an easy duality to hold. She’s come a long way.

Ah, good old need. Possibly the closest this series comes to deus ex machina on the regular but hey, sometimes you…uh…need that. I suppose it’s really just letting any character be temporarily ta’veren in the World of Dreams. Of course, ta’veren is that wonderfully paradoxical way of circumventing deus ex machina by turning it into a part of your worldbuilding, so…fair play. Surrender to control?

What did she need to know, what did she need to see?

Wise questions to ask, all things considered.

It’s something else I like about how Egwene has grown: she hasn’t lost that core of stubborn determination that has seen her through so much, but she has gained an openness to advice and an acceptance of the fact that she does not and cannot ever know everything, that she might be wrong or might be missing something. And the corresponding ability to seek out and be open to whatever that might be. It reminds me of what Lan said to Rand, about a portion of wisdom being the understanding that you can’t know everything, and that sometimes what you’re missing is the most important piece. And a portion of courage being to go on anyway.

She presses on, but she also looks for guidance and advice when she knows there’s more. She uses need here not to find a solution to her problems, but to see what the Pattern thinks she should know or see, to see what she might be missing, because she’s willing to be shown it, and to take it into account.

(It would be nice if more people did that in real life from time to time).

Need takes her to a fire, apparently. How…*looks at last chapter again*…ironic.

In the middle of a camp of the Tuatha’an. I think maybe I see where this is going.

She could almost hear the flutes and drums, could almost imagine those flickers from the firepit to be the shadows of dancing men and women. Did the Tuatha’an still dance, with that sky still full of gloom, the winds so full of ill news? What place was there for them in a world preparing for war?

But what place is there for war, in a world that has no place for dancing? What purpose is there to that war, if not to allow for life? Without that, you end up where Rand is: looking only to the war and its victory, and not to the reason, or to anything that comes after. And at that point, the only purpose is war itself, and what future is that?

If I were a slightly more cynical person than I am, I might respond with ‘the one we live in’ but apparently in this, the year of our lord two thousand and nineteen, I still retain some semblance of optimism.

Maybe that’s just because it’s my favourite season and I have an excellent playlist of classical music on in the background a full mug of the world’s best green tea sitting right next to me, so nothing can look too bad.

(I am absolutely a caricature of myself in this moment).

For a moment, she let her gown change to that of a simple, woollen Two Rivers dress of green, much like the one she’d worn during her time visiting the Travelling People. She stared into those non-existent flames, remembering and pondering.

…In a moment, she would step out of Tel’aran’rhiod and return to her wounds. In a moment she would face the Aes Sedai outside, and become the Amyrlin again. But for now, she only wanted to sit, and remember an innkeeper’s daughter named Egwene al’Vere.

Couldn’t help myself, sorry.

Best not to wonder what has become of Aram, Egwene. That way lies madness, pretty much literally.

Yes, this group would still dance. They would dance right up until the day when the Pattern burned away, whether or not they found their song, whether or not Trollocs ravaged the world or the Dragon Reborn destroyed it.

And that’s what they’re fighting for. This gets into Sanderson’s ‘journey before destination’ a little bit, but is also absolutely consistent with the way Jordan has painted the conflict: it’s not just about winning the war. It’s about how, and why, and what you do with the life you have even when the apocalypse is hanging over you.

It’s what Rand has forgotten, and what Egwene has held on to. Neither of them can truly control the Pattern – well, okay, Rand’s certainly been making a go at it lately, and I suppose almost tearing it to pieces would sort of count in a way maybe I guess – but while Rand has been pulled into the view that this means he has no choices, Egwene takes the opposite view and claims what agency she can. It’s not just about what’s coming; it’s about how they face it.

Had she let herself lose sight of those things which were most precious? Why did she fight so hard to secure the White Tower? For power? For pride? Or because she felt it really was best for the world?

Was she going to suck herself dry as she fought this battle?

Well…in answer to that last question, I think very likely yes. But the whole point is that she’s asking herself these questions, asking herself why. What is she fighting for. What purpose does this serve. If she chooses to give herself to this – the key word there being chooses – what is she doing it for?

They’re the questions Rand cannot ask himself, because that would mean holding on to some form of hope, and that’s too painful. And because he does not believe he has any choices, so it would hurt too much to taunt himself with the notion that he could choose to fight for something, that he could choose how and why to fight at all, that he could choose what has already been chosen for him.

They’re facing the same vital questions, these two, and yet they again end up on opposite sides. Because Egwene sees choice, where Rand sees only necessity.

Yet I think this is exactly where Rand needs to end up – just as need has brought Egwene here, to remind her.

She had chosen – or, would have chosen – the Green and not the Blue. The difference wasn’t just that she liked the way the Greens stood up and fought; she thought that the Blues were too focused. Life was more complicated than a single cause. Life was about living. About dreaming, laughing and dancing.

I have very little to add to this, because…yes. She gets it. It’s not just about getting to the Last Battle at any cost, or even about winning the Last Battle at any cost. It’s about what that cost is paid for; it’s about the future a victory would enable. And in looking past that single cause, there’s a way to find choice again, rather than simply duty. Duty is ‘I must win this battle’. Choice is ‘I will fight this battle so that there will be a future in which people can live a life beyond this war’.

This is also probably the first explanation of Egwene’s Ajah preference that makes sense to me. Even if it is a little ironic that Egwene al’Vere, who throws herself completely and entirely into everything she does, thinks the Blues are too focused. But this is part of that realisation, I suppose – that she needs to remember why she’s doing this in the first place. That it can’t just be about the cause, the way it could for someone like Moiraine, who took that as her own way of accepting and choosing fate.

It reminds me of what Vandene said to Moiraine: “Blues. Always so ready to save the world that you lose yourselves.” And a character like Moiraine…part of her strength is that she can do that, and somehow still remain herself. They need someone like her, who can do that, but that’s…not something that works for every character.

Blah Gawyn blah.

She loved him. She would bond him. Those desires of her heart were less important than the fate of the world, true, but they were still important.

This, precisely. Ignoring the fact that it’s Gawyn, but aside from that, she getsit. She is allowed to want things. She is allowed to care, allowed to make choices. She can prioritise her duty and the needs of the world – and that prioritisation is pretty key here – but  that doesn’t have to exclude her ability to be a person with wants and desires and choices. She doesn’t have to deny herself those things that make her who she is. Because at that point, what is there to hold on to? What point is there to fighting at all?

And Rand has, at this point, decided the opposite. “I don’t know how human the Dragon Reborn can afford to be.” He cannot want anything, because he is a force and a tool and a weapon, not a person. He cannot choose anything, because he is the Dragon Reborn, a piece of the Pattern and nothing else. And so he has torn away or suppressed anything that makes him Rand, and in doing so has lost that source of strength that he views as a weakness. He has lost that surrender-to-control ability to face his fate and yet choose it, because there is a reason and a purpose for him to do so, beyond it being required of the Dragon Reborn. And that makes it so much harder to endure, and takes him closer to this cliff edge of ‘it would be easier, it would be merciful, to just end it all’.

That’s not strength; that’s shattering.

Though the sky bubbled in black turmoil, something cast a shadow from the Tower, and it fell directly on Egwene. Was this a vision of some sort? The Tower dwarfed her, and she felt its weight, as if she were holding it up herself. Pushing on those walls, keeping them from cracking and tumbling.

Rand shadowed by a mountain, Egwene shadowed by the Tower. Dragon and Amyrlin; Dragonmount and the White Tower. And some small light atop each, casting that shadow onto them.

She stood for a long while there, sky boiling, the Tower’s perfect spire throwing its shadow down onto Egwene. She stared up at its peak, trying to decide if it was time to just let it fall.

No, she thought again.

Again it comes down to such a simple and yet monumental difference in the assertion of agency. Both Egwene and Rand, Dragon and Amyrlin, are shadowed by the symbol of their role. Both feel its weight, both struggle to hold it up.

Yet in Rand’s case, he sees that mountain as something he must carry, until the time comes when he can die and be free of it, because that is the only way. For Egwene…she looks at it, and wonders if she should just let it go, and decides not to. She chooses this. And that makes it more bearable.

I Rand’s case the mountain is a…pressure, a weight on him, seeking to crush him. In Egwene’s case it’s still a weight, but she sees her role as supporting it, holding it together rather than struggling underneath it.

Anyway I love the way they are so similar and yet so opposite; I know you probably couldn’t tell from the last several thousand words.

It’s just such a good way of highlighting those differences, and in doing so showing indirectly where the core of Rand’s own struggle is. And also showing the importance of Egwene’s choices and mindset, as we’ve seen where the opposite leads. Both storylines and arcs play off of and complement each other, so that together you get something slightly more than the sum of their parts.

And back to the waking world and pain.

She did not complain. No yells, no cries, no begging. She forced herself to sit up despite the pain, smiling to herself at how it felt.

Her refusal to cry out or beg or show them discomfort is not a strain on her in the same way as it would be if she were resisting this pain, or if she had no belief that it was for a purpose. But because she embraces that, there’s a much greater depth and strength to her endurance and defiance. It feels less brittle, more sustainable.

She sat back down, cross-legged, and took deep breaths, repeating to herself that she wantedto be locked in this room.

That deliberate assertion of agency, to remind herself of the strength it brings. Of course it helps that she actually could escape if she decided to – that this is actually in many ways a choice – but it’s the recognition of it as such, the decision to cast her situation in such a light, that makes the crucial difference, I think. That’s what so much of her story is based in: the hero-by-choice rather than necessity. The importance of choosing, even when it just means choosing what is necessary, or choosing to follow what is asked of her.

The words, repeated in her head, helped stave off the panic at considering yet another day within this cell.

While locked in a box, her mantra becomes an assertion of agency and choice, while Rand’s became a litany of self-flagellating anger and admonishments to never trust again, to be harder.

What would she have done without the nightly dreams to keep her sane? Again, she thought of poor Rand, locked away. She and he shared something now. A kinship beyond a common childhood in the Two Rivers. They had both suffered Elaida’s punishments. And it hadn’t broken either of them.

That last part is somewhat debatable, but what I really like here is the depth of compassion and respect she shows. She doesn’t equate their situations and claim superiority. She’s also already acknowledged the differences in the specifics of their situations, and thinks she has an advantage here by being able to reach out in dreams, and by having the comfort of knowing this means something. And given that she is currently imprisoned and in pain and suffering, that kind of compassionate understanding is…impressive.

I’ve spent a lot of this chapter contrasting the way she and Rand deal with situations that on the surface are similar, but I want to reiterate that my point isn’t to say Egwene is superior because of the way she looks at and handles this, nor is it to try to quantify their relative degrees of suffering. But there’s a reason we’re presented with these two similar yet different situations, and a lot of it is to highlight those aspects that are different, and to let us begin to understand why. It’s easier to see how they each end up where they are when you have something to contrast it with.

And Egwene, also, doesn’t make the comparison as a way of claiming superiority, or as a value judgement of any sort. It’s a source of similarity to her, when so much has pulled them apart. They shared a childhood, and now they share this, horrible as it is. But in that, she chooses to focus on shared strength. There’s a great deal of implicit respect in that; that and this empathy are going to be important, I think, in holding them together and allowing them to face the Last Battle as allies, even when so much of their roles puts them at odds. It won’t be easy, but they have these underlying threads to help them (in a way that Latra Posae and Lews Therin perhaps did not…)

Also, Egwene? This is definitley not the first or only thing you two share beyond the Two Rivers. You two should compare notes sometime, when you uh…have a break from saving the world.

She would not break, particularly not while she could spend the nights in Tel’aran’rhiod. In fact, in many ways, those were her days – spent free and active – while these were her nights, in inactive darkness. She told herself that.

She tells herself that, because so much is about perception. Perceiving it as her choice, believing it to be. And perception is so much of the difference between her and Rand, as we see over and over when they face these parallel events and moments in their respective stories. She sees herself as choosing while he sees himself as chosen, and so much of the differences spiral from there.

Time for her regularly scheduled torture except wait no it’s a change in the routine. Probably not for the better, given that this is Katerine.

Ah. Elaida’s given up on imprisoning Egwene, probably because it’s having no effect whatsoever, and has decided to shift the blame to Silviana.

And Katerine is the new Mistress of Novices. That makes her the third confirmed member of the Black Ajah to hold the position in the series (if we count New Spring). This is some Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor level curse.

Elaida was more competent than Egwene had assumed.

Unfortunately.

That’s part of the problem: Elaida’s just competent enough to maintain a position that allows her incompetence to ruin everything. She’s like those people you run into at almost any company who have clearly been promoted just a little too high, but they’re not quite incompetent enough to be removed from their role, so instead it’s just a mess.

After spending so long locked up, it felt wonderful simply to be able to walk.

I’m reminded so strongly here of that part of Rand’s imprisonment where he hallucinates just…walking. You could extend that to his entire role, really; all he wanted at one point was to be able to just…be. Something as simple as just walking, free of chains or responsibilities or a destiny.

But she’d won. The realisation was just beginning to dawn on her. She’d won! She’d resisted the worst punishment Elaida could contrive, and had come out victorious!

This freedom is a victory to Egwene, in a way Dumai’s Wells was…er…not, for Rand. She’s not completely free, and she hasn’t completely won, but it is a victory nonetheless. Whereas Dumai’s Wells was far more decisive, and yet significantly less triumphant.

And everything looks brighter, even as she knows she still has more to do. (As after Dumai’s Wells everything looked darker, even though it was a very thorough ‘win’). It’s all about perception.

Why does Egwene keep referring to Elaida as ‘the Amyrlin’? Why does she give Elaida that title, when she claims it for herself? Is that just a Sanderson slip?

Saerin wants to talk to Egwene and is going to put up with exactly zero (0) bullshit from Egwene’s Red minders in her efforts to do so.

“Being seen in your company can be rather worth that risk, these days. I wanted to determine something.”

“What?” Egwene asked, curious.

“Well, I actually wanted to see if they could be pushed around.”

Ha. I like her. It’s just the right level of petty. And on a less petty note, tides have definitely shifted in the Tower. Still not enough for Egwene to claim a full victory yet, but what was begun in Honey in the Tea has continued and gained momentum, it would seem.

“[Reds] see it as a major failing on Elaida’s part.”

“She should have killed me,” Egwene said with a nod. “Days ago.”

“That would have been seen as a failure.”

She’s so matter-of-fact in discussing the possibility of her own execution, in terms of its strategic merit. Perhaps again because she has made her choice, and will see it through. She accepted the possibility of execution early on; she has contingency plans around it now, of course, but when she said she would be willing to die for the Tower, she was not lying. And so, once she’s accepted that and made it just another part of her choice – not something to be sought out but also not something to be fought if it could serve a purpose – she can look at it clearly.

Ah, so there’s more to the story of Silviana’s removal.

Oh damn.

“Silviana demanded to be heard by the full Hall while it was sitting,” Saerin explained. “She stood before the lot of us, before Elaida herself, and insisted that your treatment was unlawful. Which, likely, it was. Even if you aren’t an Aes Sedai, you shouldn’t have been placed in such terrible conditions." Saerin glanced at Egwene. “Silviana demanded your release. She seemed to respect you a great deal, I should say.”

Slow clap for Silviana. Wow. That’s quite a move to make, given Elaida’s entire reign as Amyrlin and what she’s done to those who have defied her. But this is where Egwene’s strength pays off: she gave Silviana, and perhaps has given others, the impetus and reason to find theirs. Silviana watched firsthand as Egwene held to her convictions day after day, despite being beaten and punished for them, despite Elaida and everyone else. And so Silviana has now done the same. She has faced the Hall and refused to back down or bow to Elaida’s demands, despite the consequences. Egwene has given her, and given the others, an example of that core of strength and conviction, even if it means defiance. And now that has taken root.

“She denounced Elaida, calling for her to be removed as Amyrlin. It was…quite extraordinary.”

Yeah, Silviana’s kind of awesome.

This could be another turning point; the other Aes Sedai have seen Egwene’s example, and perhaps been swayed by it in some cases, but now it’s not just the novices who have been won over. Now, Silviana has taken up Egwene’s example and made it plain for all the rest to see, and where one has gone, others may follow. It’s not about whispered hints or veiled requests for advice anymore. Now the call has been made not just by a rebel Amyrlin dressed as a novice, but by a member of Elaida’s own Ajah, from within the Tower, in front of the Hall. That’s harder to ignore, and once that first step has been taken, once that particular threshold has been crossed, it’s much easier to carry momentum.

“What did Elaida do to her?” 

“Ordered her to take up the dress of a novice,” Saerin said. “Just about caused an uproar in the Hall itself.” Saerin paused. “Silviana refused, of course. Elaida has declared that she is to be stilled and executed. The Hall doesn’t know whatto do.”

And so Elaida has done exactly what Egwene tried to hint or warn the others she might: carry her power too far. If she demoted Shemerin, what is to stop her from demoting any who disagree with her? If the Aes Sedai let her get away with these things early on, it will only enable her to push them further…and now she has. And so it comes to a head, because now Silviana, unlike Shemerin, refuses to accept that from Elaida. While Elaida has now ordered execution for someone who stands up to her and dares to defy her in something she should never have had the power to do anyway. It’s forcing the Hall to actually make a choice now, to take a side.

I want credit for making it through that entire paragraph without a single reference to real-world politics.

“Light! She mustn’t be punished! We must prevent this.”

There’s a certain amusing irony to hearing this from Egwene, who adamantly refused rescue or aid from her own faction when she was captured and subjected to Elaida’s punishments.

“Prevent it?” Saerin asked. “Child, the Red Ajah is crumbling! Its members are turning against one another, wolves attacking their own pack. If Elaida is allowed to go through with killing one of her own Ajah, whatever support she had from within the ranks will evaporate. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised, when the dust settles, to see that the Ajah has undermined itself to the point that you could simply disband it and be done with them.”

“I don’t want to disband them,” Egwene said. “Saerin, that’s one of the problems with Elaida’s way of thinking in the first place! The White Tower needs all of the Ajahs, even the red, to face what is coming. We certainly can’t afford to lose a woman like Silviana just to make a point.”

There’s so much division, and so much anger between the Ajahs and the Aes Sedai in general, that it’s hard to put aside some desire for revenge or even just to see the ‘other side’ get what they ‘deserve’. But this is where Egwene’s ability to see past that, to seek a true unification of the Tower, becomes so important. Because someone has to be able to look past that.

Yes, this could undermine Elaida. But it’s not really about undermining Elaida anymore; as Egwene realised earlier, it’s about uniting the Tower, which is a similar fight in some ways but a very different one in others. It means she can’t let this continue as another step in the conflict. She can’t let the Red Ajah dissolve just to make a point, to get some kind of payback for the dissolution of the Blue, because all that does is serve more discord.

But to be able to keep so strongly to that conviction after being mistreated and held prisoner and beaten because of them is…impressive, to say the least.

“Do you really think you’re in control here, child?”

Egwene met her eyes. “Do you want to be?”

Saerin’s response is, appropriately (translated to modern English): Fuck no.

It’s a good response, not just because it’s a clever retort but because it’s genuinely a good question. And a good way to make someone stop and think for a second. Who would want to inherit this mess, and be held responsible for almost inevitable failure? (Sometimes I feel just a little bit sorry for Theresa May).

It’s another strength of Egwene’s; or rather, another complexity of the situation she’s come to fully understand. This isn’t about power, or about who gets to be Amyrlin, or even who’s right and who’s wrong. It’s not about winning. It’s about preserving the Tower, however that can be done.

So Saerin’s off to stage something of a prison break of her own, and Egwene’s turning this into an object lesson for the Reds watching her.

Barasine doesn’t want to go watch one of the tenser moments of Tower history because she promised to hold Egwene’s shield, Egwene realises she might actually be the only adult in the room and pinky-swears not to touch saidar, Barasine’s not biting, so Egwene just sends a novice for some nice hot forkroot tea because she is so beyond done with everyone’s shit.

Egwene actually drinks the forkroot, too. It’s like when she started laughing while Silviana was beating her. She’s reached this level of both commitment and understanding to the actual cause and the actual problems that need to be addressed, that from this perspective everything else looks so ridiculous. She’ll have to drink forkroot to get the two Reds to try to prevent the collapse of their own Ajah? Fine, just put some honey in it had have done. There’s a sense of urgency to everything, but all the individual pieces just look so…small. So unnecessary, so petty and ridiculous and why would she even pause for half a second if she can easily find a way past it? What does a little forkroot matter, compared to the fact that the Tower is falling apart from within?

“Hello, Egwene,” Verin said, taking a sip from a steaming cup of tea.

Probably not forkroot this time. But more importantly, um, what? Verin what are you doing here and how did you get here and why?

“I have work to be about.”

“Hmm, yes,” Verin said, taking a calm sip of her tea. “I suspect that you do. By the way, that dress you are wearing is green.”

W

H

A

T

DID SHE JUST.

DID WE JUST FIND OUT.

DID VERIN JUST PLAY HER HAND.

Verin just played her hand.

She just.

That.

What.

It’s not even the fact that she can lie that’s so surprising; that much, I sort of suspected though I’ve never been sure (and even now, there are at least two options).

But first giving that letter to Mat, and now saying this straight out, to Egwene. Dropping the cover she’s kept for…the entire series and based on her thoughts, a very long time before that…

This is her endgame, somehow. So what is it? And why? Why here and why now and AL;FSLEKAJRS VERIN OH MAN.

“Yes, I thought that might get your attention,” Verin said, smiling.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Next (TGS ch 39) Previous (TGS ch 37)

[sssoto]

Happy 200th birthday, Serena!

My dearest baby Serena da Silva has her birthday today, October 17th, and it’s not just any birthday - today marks the day she was born 200 years ago! EEEP how exciting is that? You only get to celebrate an anniversary like that once in your lifetime!

If you’re unfamiliar with Serena, she is my character from my book project series for Amnesia: The Dark Descent, in which she plays a major role. She’s probably the character nearest and dearest to my heart, and she tends to be a fan favourite among readers as well, so I wanted to do something extra special for this particular anniversary.

So here comes: a birthday feature! In which I display all the amazing gifts Serena has received today.

First of all, I want to show the wip of what I had planned to do for Serena, which unfortunately I couldn’t finish in time since my laptop screen broke at the WORST. TIMING. EVER. I meant to have this artwork ready for today, but since I won’t be able to finish it until later, I’ll share a wip of the clean sketch:

I must admit, I’m quite proud of it! It’s the first time I experiment with perspective and interiors for real, and I also usually suck at drawing animals, but Cleo (Serena’s cat) came out quite okay here, so I’m happy! I hope I’ll be able to finish it sooner rather than later.

And now, let’s get into the amazing gifts my baby has received today AAAHHH!

@juliajm15

If you’ve been following me for a while, you might know that @juliajm15 is an art goddess who’s been making amazing beautiful fanart of my characters for the past couple years. She always goes so above and beyond for me, and that can be seen by LOOKING AT THIS GORGEOUS PIECE OF SERANIEL FANART.

IT’S THEIR FIRST KISS. THEY’RE SO YOUNG AND INNOCENT HERE. THAT HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. THAT DRESS. THAT HAIR (BOTH OF THEM). I COULD GO ON GUSHING BUT WE’D BE HERE ALL DAY.

OH YEAH, AND THAT BACKGROUND.

I just had to mention that.

OMG I die over how perfect and cute and romantic this is, it just completely captures the essence and emotion of that scene in my book! I feel so blessed and privileged, how am I ever gonna recover from this perfection?

But not only did she do this amazing gorgeous romantic piece for me, she also did a complete remake of Serena’s character portrait and DAMN SHE LOOKS GORGEOUS.

HOW does she always manage to capture Serena so perfectly? Ugh I honestly just can’t with this perfection, I just can’t. That expression, that hair, those LIPS. Okay, I’m gonna move on because I could literally gush about Serena’s face all day, but then we’d miss out on all the other amazing gifts she received today! Just, thank you so much @juliajm15 my darling, you’re such a generous and ultra skilled human being, thank you so much for being in my life and supporting me always

@shaelinwrites

So meme and aesthetics queen @shaelinwrites totally disarmed me today when she sent me THIS GORGEOUS MOODBOARD FOR SERENA OH MY LORD.

LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS WINTER AESTHETIC. OMG LOOK, CLEO MADE A CAMEO ON THE BOTTOM LEFT. Omg these colours are just too beautiful I CAN’T. The art supplies, the gesture and expression of this girl, it’s all SO Serena. The whole feel of this moodboard is just so romantic and cosy and wintery and ugh, the nightgown, the long dark hair. I’m aware I’m just rambling and gushing throughout this post DEAL WITH IT.

And @shaelinwrites didn’t stop there, no, as any good bae, she knew how important the bae is. HAVE SOME MORE SERANIEL, THIS TIME BLACK AND WHITE SEXY EDITION.

OH MY LORD. HOW WILL I EVER RECOVER FROM ALL OF THIS. I CANNOT DEAL, CAN. NOT. DEAL.

All of this is literally just so accurate. Like, it’s so friggin’ hard to find good stock images that can embody a fictional character, BUT MY BAE DID IT *CRIES*. Thank you so much bae, omg this surprise was such a highlight today!!

@coffeeandcalligraphy

Another dear friend of mine (who’s a total cinnamon roll btw), @coffeeandcalligraphy, also went above and beyond for my character’s birthday because LOOK AT THIS:

I swear, everyone remembers the bae Baeniel. Eeeeeveryone.

Omg I swear, MY BABIES LOOK SO ATTRACTIVE HERE LIKE OH MY LORD. Daniel boooiiiiiii with that Expression of Angst™ and them puffy lips, and SERENA OMG THE HAIR AND THE LIPS AND EYES, HER INDIGENOUS ROOTS ARE SO PRONOUNCED WITH HER EYES AND I LOVE THAT.

I actually can’t??? Like how do I have so many talented af friends??? I must be a talent MAGNET I’m telling ya.

Oh and Rachel had the same idea as Baelin and went the sexy Black and White edition with the OTP as well:

BECAUSE CAN WE EVER HAVE TOO MUCH SEXINESS? I THINK NOT. Thank you so much @coffeeandcalligraphy I swear your art just blows me away, you’re improving at such a rapid pace, slow down, I can’t keep up

@sarahkelsiwrites

Also @sarahkelsiwrites is a close friend of mine, and actually @coffeeandcalligraphy‘s twin sister (gotta collect the whole pack amirite), and as part of her inktober challenge she did THIS GORGEOUS INKED PORTRAIT OF SERENA:

LIKE OMG OKAY SO the Victorian aesthetic is on POINT here, and OMG I love that her Hispanic features are soooo visible here. ALSO DAMN, THE DETAIL ON THE JEWELLERY. THE INKING OF THIS IS ALSO SO GREAT, LIKE, DO YOU SEE THE LINES IN HER HAIR???? I’m sorry, I’m an artist, I have to appreciate it when I see good craft, okay? I also gotta note that I’m living for how everyone always remembers Serena’s choker because girl never goes without one

Ugh HER EYES AND LIPS okay I gotta stop. I mention the eyes and lips every time, when will I switch it up. NEVER. Okay, glad we got that settled.

(Yes, I’m a dork, but only when I’m overwhelmed with this much love and beauty, I swear.)

Also omg THE SONG LYRICS, THOSE ARE SELENA GOMEZ LYRICS, AND IT’S STARS DANCE, AND I LOVE THAT SONG, AND IT’S SO RELEVANT, AND I’M ACTUALLY SHOOK. LORD thank you so much @sarahkelsiwrites god I just can’t believe how friggin’ talented and generous and thoughtful all of you are, I will never get over it.

Constance

So I’ve not mentioned this, but not too long ago I was totally taken by surprise and utterly *shook* when I received a private message on the site where I have Memoirs posted. This long message came from an angel named Constance, who registered a profile just to tell me how much she adored my story, give me fanart, and TELL ME SHE’S TRANSLATING THE ENTIRE THING TO FRENCH BRUH.

So if any of you out there are speaking French and not super comfortable with English, but still interested in reading Memoirs, it’s Constance you wanna hit up. She’s got you covered.

But back to the FANART.

Constance is working on this GORGEOUS Serena fanart for me, and while it’s not all finished yet, she said I could still post it for the birthday feature! (I’m going to update the post with the finished piece once it’s ready)

LOOK HOW CUTE AND PRETTY AND YOUNG MY SERENA IS HERE. THIS DRESS IS SO PRETTY, I DIE. OMG SHE HAS THE LOCKET. I realise like 90% of this post is all caps, but WHO CAN BLAME ME? I’m so #blessedyouknow right.

All I wanted in my life is Serena in a pink pretty dress. Thank you for realising my dreams, Constance *cries* and thank you so much for the endless support and this generosity! Seeing other people getting so invested in my story and characters really moves me so much, it’s all that I could hope for waaahh.

2k17 - Birthday One Shot

Okay, so I know how I said I couldn’t finish my artwork for Serena in time as I had intended, which made me very, very Sad™, BUT. I came up with something else.

So this was actually SUPER spontaneous and I usually NEVER do something like this, but I took a chance, and you know what? It worked out. I just wanna say thank you so much to my bae @shaelinwrites who pushed and motivated me to do this, I dunno what happened, but you must’ve transferred some of your writing machine abilities to me, because I actually managed to finish an entire one shot in JUST ONE DAY. (Are you as shook as I am? Cuz I can never seem to finish a chapter so I’m shook.)

Since I couldn’t finish my artwork for Serena like I planned, I decided to write a short fluffy non-canon one shot for her birthday. It was super spontaneous and unplanned, but it actually came surprisingly easy to write! I’ve not written in first person in many, many years, so this was really a leap of faith LOL, but I like the end result! A major thanks to @shaelinwrites, who encouraged me and critiqued the short before publication, and @coffeeandcalligraphy, @sarahkelsiwrites and @juliajm15 for giving it a read and telling me their thoughts as well! I hope you all enjoy this little piece of fluff; since I’m taking so long to write my book, maybe this can keep y’all entertained meanwhile

Thank you so much to everyone who’s supported me and celebrated Serena’s birthday with me, even just in spirit! It makes the long journey all worth it, knowing there are people out there who care (’:

(short story starts under the cut!)

Roses and Ballerinas

The balcony drapes danced lightly with the gentle morning breeze, a delicate waltz. My existence was comfort, head cushioned by feather pillows and silk sheets swathing my naked form. Sunlight hadn’t woken me; London was always grey, ash brick and fog, and even more so in the rainy days of October. However, for what one might expect, the morning didn’t seem to carry its usual autumn gloom—though I suppose that observation could’ve had more to do with my current disposition.

A smile crept on my lips at remembrance of the night previous, one which, if anyone saw, surely would’ve spoken of scandalous notions unfit for a such young lady to entertain. Fortunately, none had been around to witness what had occurred in this room; tangled limbs, kisses of the sweetest character, ardour’s touch, skin marked with such fierce passion that even I could not have imagined. It didn’t seem right that something so blissful could be immoral. Should a simple seal of matrimony reverse what was once considered debasement? What a frigid, unromantic sentiment. If anyone would’ve cared to ask me, I would sing praise to the levels of delight and unison one could only reach when committing so wholeheartedly to Venus’ embrace. Might my lover treat me to such a lovely experience again tonight? This was after all a special day of mine.

I turned in my silk cocoon to face him, and was met with a disappointing sight. Half my bed was empty, only evidence that anyone had occupied the space a faint outline in the wrinkled sheets where his body had laid. I was accustomed to sharing this queen size with no one. My parents had always been diligent in ensuring that I was endowed much more space than a small person like me required. Somehow, the vastness of this bed, indeed this entire room, seemed pronounced in this moment. I fancied I didn’t really like that much space at all. It only served to remind me of my loneliness.

Rationality grounded me; naturally, he’d gone to his own room before my maid servant would come to knock. It was only sensible. If Lydia came to discover him here, she could not keep such a secret from Mama—though truly I hadn’t much need for concern today, as she was typically inclined to let me sleep in on a day of my celebration. Yes, it was the day itself which heightened my sensitivity, nothing more. Admittedly I’d had hopes for the morning, that he might wake me with another of his sweet kisses, might whisper words of admiration and appreciation in my ears as he’d play with my dark locks—an occupation he liked to take up whenever he visited my private chambers, I’d noted with slight thrill. Indeed, he was a beautiful man—one would be hard-pressed to argue the fact—but more importantly was how knowledgeable he’d proven himself on the treatment of a woman. Had I ever felt so worshipped and adored? If so, I couldn’t recover the memory.

My hand caressed the empty space next to me. He’d always held my fancy, even before either of us could be consciously aware of such implications. As far back as when he’d been a scrawny boy with round green eyes and tufts of brown hair that grew unrestrained, too wild for taming. Such was he when I’d first laid eyes upon him, myself a guileless, wide-eyed girl just six years of age. Our childhood was an innocent one, as most are, and a discordant one, as most aren’t. We’d been too young to fathom the consequences of our relationship. Even so, I could never regret it.

The door clicked open. I sat in surprise, pulling on my duvet to cover me. Why would Lydia not knock? This conduct was so unlike my meek maid, and certainly rude and improper. Under usual circumstances I’d not mind, but in my current exposed state I would’ve preferred for my servant to know her place and knock before entering. Would she not question my state of undress? Would I have answers to offer that wouldn’t further incriminate myself and fuel her suspicions?

But the sight which entered was not Lydia; indeed, this character was too tall, too broad, too much man. The clothes he’d discarded last night was now fitted on him in a most casual manner, shirt tucked carelessly into the waistband of the trousers he’d worn the day before and not fully buttoned. The tension in my body dwindled, and I let a sigh of relief. “You’re awake already? I thought I might make it back before you’d notice my absence.” He wore a crooked smile as he closed the door behind him, though it wasn’t smug but awkward, as if regretful he might’ve troubled me while he was gone.

“Daniel, where did you go? Did you not care to think you could get caught sneaking in and out of my room like that?” I said while he approached. I could not ignore how he moved with an arm behind his back, making his climb back into bed rather clumsy looking.

His smile was amusement now, a hint of a chuckle on the tilt of his lips. He leaned close, and his scent engulfed me, piquant and potent, woodsmoke and seasalt. I savoured the fragrance of him, and his warmth, and those lips, perfect for kissing, as they met mine in a sweet greeting. “Happy birthday, darling,” he muttered against my smile.

He pulled back, much to my dismay—though that sentiment was soon replaced by curiosity as he presented whatever he’d cared so much to hide behind his back. “What is that?” The words escaped me before I’d taken a proper glance at the object; a wooden box, handcrafted. The carving of a rose adorned the top lid and composed the main attraction. Still the rest of the box was as skilfully ornamented, only with less eye-catching swirls and foliage.

“Watch.” He bit his lip in thrill as was his habit—one I found rather endearing, I might add. He produced a small key from his pocket and inserted it into an opening hidden on the side.

I looked on in fascination as three turns of the key set the box in motion. The lid of the case rose all on its own, and as a lovely tune began its play, a small ballerina came to life and emerged from the box. She twirled around in a graceful dance, contentment in her gesture. I brought both hands to my lips, unable to contain my smile; she had long black hair, just like mine. “A music box!”

“Is it to your liking?” Daniel chuckled, and this time his grin was indeed quite self-satisfied.

I took the music box in my own hands and brought it closer to my face. The ballerina spun and spun without a care in the world; she was me, a version of myself I had dreamed of once. Unrestrained, unchained, free of her cage. Her face was simply painted, but the meaning in her dancing form could not escape me. Such I had seen myself, fantasized of another life. That he remembered… “It’s beautiful! How… When did you arrange this?” The inquiry came out more quiet and raspy than I had intended, but he heard.

“Good while ago,” said he with an air of nonchalance, as though it was little trouble. “The actual crafting of the box and ballerina wasn’t too difficult, but I needed some help to have all the parts fitted together. A clockmaker assisted me in getting the thing to actually play; as you know, I’m not much of a musician.”

I audibly gasped and stared up at him, unable to help myself. “You crafted this yourself?”

He seemed amused by my shock—no wonder, as I shouldn’t have been so surprised. He was the son of an artisan after all. The tune of the music box came to a halt at last, its last note fading into silence. “With my own bare hands. Look here,” he pointed to the interior of the lid, “There’s an inscription.”

My eyes followed to where he pointed; the ballerina had indeed stolen attention away from an engraving hidden behind her, on the curved inner side of the rose-adorned lid. Soul free of sorrow, heart light with hope; this be the path I follow, this is the path I chose. My chest swelled, and breath hitched. I wanted to speak, yet couldn’t bring the words to my tongue. Instead I choked on them, and they came caught in my throat.

Daniel tilted his head, understandable question lingering in his expression. Oh, those striking green eyes, this lovely visage. Handsomeness was a term he embodied so utterly; how was it fair for a face like that to completely disarm a woman? I composed myself and swallowed the cry which would’ve escaped me if I’d had just little less self restraint. My one hand cupped the side of my face while the other held the music box, and my smile had no end to it still. Since all else I felt refused to be spoken, I settled on the one feeling I could formulate with ease—amusement. “Some poet you’ve become, huh?” I laughed, shaking my head, yet in an effort to quell the rush inside me.

He grinned and gave my shoulder a gentle shove, an action so very like his behaviour as a boy. “Don’t laugh, I put in a great effort; see, the words rhyme!”

My giggles intensified at his reaction. I placed the music box on the nightstand and spun the key again, thrice; thus the ballerina resumed her carefree dance, light and free. She was magical, twirling such as she did. What a spirit to have, a life to live. To choose your own path to follow, and not the one chosen for you.

I turned towards my company again and pulled on him, locking him between my arms in a tight embrace. “Thank you, Daniel.” I squeezed in hope that the fierceness of my display of appreciation would deliver the message better than words could. “Thank you so much. It’s wonderful.”

“I do consider myself quite the expert on gift giving.” His chuckle was warm against my bare neck. A large hand planted firmly between my shoulder blades and pressed me deeper into his warmth. “I’m sorry if I had you worried, Serena. I only went to fetch my gift for you. I promise I was careful.”

“It’s fine, Daniel.” The words came out in a sigh of contentment. He was indeed so broad and so much bigger than I; his figure wrapped me in amenity, instilling within me an ease I couldn’t hope to discover elsewhere. It was an ease of novel excitement and nostalgic familiarity, all at once. “In truth, what bothered me was the idea that you’d left me to wake by myself.” I pulled away enough to look at him and brushed a strand of his long, brown locks from his face. “Today of all days.”

At those words, Daniel constrained his smile from widening too much, and I blushed by the notion that I’d said something to make him so satisfied with himself. “Well, let me assure you that you needn’t worry of that, my love.” He leaned over me, and I fell back into silk. I had no need for the duvet to cover my naked figure any more; his broad form was quite enough coverage. “You should know that the only instance in which I would leave this bed willingly would be the moment you tire of me and kick me out.”

I bit my lip as a gratifying sensation waved through me, and my fingers found way to the waistband of his trousers, pulling the shirt loose of it. “If that is a challenge,” I laughed, “then go ahead and make your attempt at tiring me.”

By the smirk on his lips, it seemed he accepted. The music box played its last note; it rang into the room and deadened to silence, and so a music of another kind took its place. Lord pray that Lydia would have the thought to let her lady sleep in on her birthday.

So that was all for this century’s anniversary! Thank you so much to all my friends who made these amazing gifts for her, and all of you who participated in celebrating her; it means so much

Until next century, darlings! (I’m kidding, I’m not gonna be inactive on this blog a whole century…)

[obsidianarchives]

Black Women Creators: Lola Kolade and Heather Akumiah

Heather Akumiah and Lola Kolade are the authors of The Typic Witches. They both hold degrees in creative writing from Columbia University. We spoke to them about their novel and being creators.

Black Girls Create: What do you create?

Heather: We are writing a serialized novel about three Black girls who find out they’re witches on their 22nd birthday. Personally, I create scarves, baked goods, and short stories.

Lola: In addition to The Typic Witches, I write other novels, short stories, and I do a lot of fuse beading, which is basically those beads that you used to do as a kid that you can iron and make crafts with.

BGC: How did you get the idea to write The Typic Witches?

Heather: In my senior year of undergrad I took a required class that made us try a bunch of different genres of writing. One of the things we had to do was a really short screenplay. I did mine about three girls who were witches in college and are in a club together. And it was pretty different from the way we wrote The Typic Witches, for example, they all practiced voodoo. So I wrote it and finished it, but it was not something I was interested in working with again. But then shortly after graduating, I was scrolling through my Twitter feed and Lola had tweeted about doing something that was similar to what I had worked on.

Lola: Yeah so over the summer, I was just kind of randomly joking and tweeted, “Who wants to help me make a web series about witches of color living in New York City?” I totally thought that it would just kind of be out in the world and then die because I have no Twitter followers. But after seeing it, Heather texted me and was like, “Hey I’ve written this script if you’re actually interested in doing something, we could actually make that happen.” I was interested because I knew that she’d actually done a web series while we were in college. So we started meeting weekly to outline a season, but realized pretty quickly that making a web series -- getting the people to act in it, the cameras, editing magic in a way that didn’t look terrible -- would be really time-consuming, so we started to switch gears and think about other ways that we could use the concept.

Heather: When we first started writing we outlined one or two episodes, so that’s part of what drew us to this serialized format. But we also felt like it was so appropriate for our time right now, and the way people consume media.

BGC: Is this your first project?

Lola: It’s our first project together. I’ve written a novel that I’m in the process of revising right now, and we both have written separate stuff all throughout college.

Heather: I’ve written fiction and some nonfiction throughout college. I also did a web series in college that I wrote, produced, and directed. It was called Drama @ CU and followed six Columbia students. It was a fake reality TV show because I love reality TV and I think it’s a bizarre and fascinating format. I don’t know if you’ve seen Real Husbands of Hollywood, I haven’t, but apparently, it’s the same sort of concept where it’s a scripted reality show.

BGC: How has it been, working together? How do you hold each other accountable and make sure you both have a voice within the story you’re telling?

Heather: Writing together was something neither of us had ever done and is sort of a weird concept when writing prose, but what was really helpful in making sure that neither of us was having trouble being heard is that we wrote in the style of Gossip Girl. It was a really conscious decision on both of our parts because individually it’s not a style of writing that either of us aspires to or is interested in doing. But it is a good way of making sure that neither of our individual voices is drowned out. And it also obviously serves the message and the energy of the story, which is just supposed to be lighthearted and fun.

Lola: And outside of that, just in terms of actually outlining the story, it was just super collaborative off jump, so I don’t think that there is anything that has made it into the story that is just wholly one person’s idea. Everything is a hybrid.

BGC: So how do you decide who gets to write certain sections or characters once you’ve created the outline?

Heather: Something that carried over from when we were outlining it as a web series was that we broke it into scenes, so initially we would just alternate writing scenes. And then if at any point we felt like one of us was writing one character too much, we would adjust so that we could both get to equal time with each character.

Lola: When we standardized our process more, we did it so that we were alternating each character’s perspective each chapter. So it’s a good way of making sure that we knew what was happening in each chapter, which can get kind of lost in translation when you’re writing with another person.

BGC: What do you hope people get out of the story/your work?

Lola: What I hope this story does, in particular, is create this community of young Black women who get to see themselves doing something fun and happy as opposed to all of these really “tough,” “urban,” stories that Black women are often represented in or having to grasp at scraps. Like even with the whole Black Hermione thing, so many Black women have read her as a Black character, but there’s nothing that explicitly says that and I think that was something that was important for us, was for it to be explicitly about and for Black women.

Heather: Another thing is that I feel like when I was growing up there was this leap from having a handful of children’s books with Black characters to then being like oh now it’s time to read Toni Morrison. And I feel like it’s not a coincidence that there’s a gap there where there should be depictions of Black girlhood and Black female youth, and not just Black girl hidden times of strife and struggle. We wanted to show Black girls doing leisure activities and enjoying the company of other Black girls and we just want young Black girls to be able to read a world that resembles theirs.

BGC: Who is your audience?

Lola: First and foremost Black women from anywhere from the age 16 to 30. But broadly speaking, if you are at all interested in the idea of young women having fun then I think you would enjoy our story.

Heather: Or if you’re interested in pop culture, if you read Gossip Girl, if you like YA, if you like reading about young women of color, or witchcraft, that’s what we’re doing.

BGC: Who or what inspired you to do what you do? Who or what continues to inspire you?

Lola: I think that for me personally, definitely my mom. She’s not artsy or creative but she’s just accomplished a ton while raising a family. In terms of this project, something that has been really inspiring is the army of Black women that have mobilized to make it happen for us. From our mothers to our friends who were our first group of readers, our web developer, the people who helped us put together our launch party, there have been so many -- the people who write to us on Tumblr telling us they love our story. So many Black women have really come together to kind of make sure that The Typic Witches is out in the world and is doing what it is and I think those are the people that really inspire me to keep going with the project.

Heather: When we were writing the project, most of the references and the jokes that we made and the things we embedded into the story were because we knew that if a Black girl came upon it she’s going to think like this is so funny, she’s going to think this is so cool. So in terms of who inspired me during this writing process, thinking of other Black girls, my Black girlfriends, thinking of them having something that was entertaining to them to read is what kept me going when we were writing.

BGC: Why is it important as a Black person to create?

Lola: I don’t know that I’ve ever really thought about myself as a Black creator in particular. And I don’t mean that in like I distance myself from my Blackness in any way, but it’s just that when I write stories about Black girls and women I do that because I am a Black woman who was a Black girl, that’s my life experience, and those are the people who are around me and that I care about and who I want to enjoy my work. So there is a politicized message quality to that in that I think about those people and rendering them accurately, but I really just think that if you want to create you should create, and not necessarily feel the burden of representing Black people broadly.

Heather: I would say it sort of just has been my instinct to make things and to create. Obviously, it’s important for Black people to create so that we can contribute our own views of ourselves to the world at large. I think more than it being important to create -- because I think it’s something that might be instinctual to a lot of people -- it’s important to persist. Because there are a lot more boundaries for us than for other creators. So I think in the back of my head when I’m writing or creating I don’t think as much about how my creative process is different, I think about how the process to get my work out might be different.

BGC: How do you balance creating with the rest of your life?

Heather: I just squeeze it in, I don’t know. Like I said, it’s instinctive, so it is something I want to do in my free time. It’s basically what I think about when I’m doing anything else.

Lola: I agree, I generally squeeze it in. Especially throughout the process of writing this novel, I’ve become more regimented about it in terms of forcing myself to fit it in as opposed to telling myself I’ll get to it next time. But yeah, there’s no time in my day when I’m not thinking of something I’m writing.

BGC: Any advice for young creators or ones just starting?

Lola: I think the best advice is just to do it if you can. That’s what was so exciting about taking the prose format as opposed to the series format, it took away any of the barriers that could have told us not to go forward with this, because it was just up to us to make the time to write it. So if there are no obstacles in your path and you can do what you want to do, you should definitely do it.

Heather: I would also say to give yourself wiggle room and a bit of flexibility for what your ideal creative projects are, because I think if someone had told me my senior year of college -- or even six months before we started this project -- that I would be working with another writer on a novel, I would’ve been like that’s weird, I’m not doing that. But it’s turned into this thing that I’m so proud of and that I think is amazing so I think having some flexibility and letting yourself go where your creative process takes you can definitely help serve you in the end.

BGC: Any future or dream projects?

Heather: As far as creative projects, it’s always short stories. They will always be what I’m working on, what I want to be working on, and what I want to be out next.

Lola: For me, there’s this monster of a novel that I’ve been working on for like years now. I finally, hopefully, have some interest in it, so I’m working on a big revision in that project which is what’s consuming my time. But if I had all of the resources in the world to do whatever I wanted, I’d want to do a massive Planet Earth-style documentary, but just charting famous Black women creatives throughout history. So like a huge anthology of writers and dancers and playwrights and actresses because I feel like so much of that history kind of disappears.

[lovelesswiki]

i've really respected your creative and analytical work with loveless for years (i actually remember reading your house crossover fanfic in like 2011 maybe?) so i've always wanted to know your general take on soubi's character? if you have time and haven't already written about it before, id love to see a general character analysis!

first of all, thank you so much! it’s fantastic to know that you like my analytical work and that i have partially redeemed myself from those weird fanfics i used to write. you know how we all look back on our past fanfics and other creative work and laugh at ourselves? well that’s what it’s like with me except i wrote about a crossover between an american medical drama and a gay catboy manga and i can’t look back on it without crying in shame. 

BUT I DIGRESS. thank you for sticking with me!

NOW. youve asked me about my favorite topic (i’d make a ���my favorite topic: myself! agatsuma soubi’ joke here but i think i already made that joke in this post and also on deviantart and probably in a couple other places) but holy shit do i love talking about soubi. hes kinda my favorite character analytically. SO, LET’S TALK ABOUT SOUBI (and i apologize if this jumps from one topic to the next bc i have many thoughts on this tall child)

soubi is a very peculiar character because more than any other character in the series, he changes. beginning-series soubi is this incredibly creepy, weird, myseterious guy who constantly says the worst and most creepiest things possible and seems to prey on children and constantly asks about killing children and frustrates the reader to no end with his whole insistence that he can’t say shit about anything. see, the thing is that you’re not supposed to like beginning-series soubi. he’s a fucking predatory asshole who is creepy and weird to no end. however, people fell in love with him because this manga was marketed as a yaoi/BL manga, which made soubi fall into the bishie trope where it is completely acceptable for the ‘dominant’ character to act in a way that is very creepy towards the other characters.

so, this really, really divided people’s opinions on soubi’s character. some people hated soubi or strongly disliked him, which was close to the correct response you’re supposed to have to soubi in the first few volumes. others fell in love with him and the bishie trope and either fell off the series or were confused when soubi’s real characterization came to be. regardless, though, i strongly dislike beginning series soubi, but now that we have an understanding of his character, i know why he acted the way he did.

let me put this into perspective. agatsuma soubi was raised in a violent society. for twelve years he was completely isolated in a small town in the mountains in a school where he was taught how to violently battle other teams. this is literally all he knows. soubi himself says that he does not remember his parents well and he was six when his parents died. developmentally, six is a huge age because it’s when a child actually begins forming long-lasting long-term memories. not a lot of people remember much before they were six years old. i like to believe that this age was chosen for soubi to lose his parents because of this, but with yun i can never be sure. just let me try to believe that this was done on purpose pls. 

so soubi does not remember not being in this world. this is all he knows. on top of all this, there’s ritsu. ill get to ritsu more in a bit because i fucking love talking about the horrible dynamic between these two (and i mean that in the best way possible), but ritsu completely destroyed soubi. he took a child and destroyed him so thoroughly that soubi has no fucking idea how to function without him. ritsu filled soubi’s head with the idea that soubi would lead a subservient life where he’d be nothing more than a tool. he beat soubi constantly and used him as a way to get back at akio. even then, soubi was nothing more than a replacement for something missing. and this was how soubi came to identify. as nothing. as a fighter. as someone who would never lead and who would never have any sort of power, as someone who would lead a life of pain and fear of failing. and soubi accepted this, because he was a child and knew nothing else.

on top of this, there’s soubi’s idea of love. i have no doubt that soubi wanted to believe that ritsu loved him, and the only proof of this he could come up with was physical affection that was given to him, affection that went way too far until it resulted in soubi’s rape. however, soubi doesn’t seem to think of this as ‘wrong’ because of the simple fact that he was never exposed to anything else. you can probably guess where im going with this by now.

now we have beginning series soubi. by the time we first meet him (and we don’t learn this until later), soubi has become incredibly depressed and doesn’t seem to see the point in living anymore. other units are telling him to his face that he should’ve already killed himself, and the thing is–soubi doesn’t actually seem to disagree with this. his entire argument is that he has an order to carry out, but he seems to have wanted to go with seimei. soubi is depressed and on top of this, he no longer has seimei. by this point, soubi is twenty years old and for his entire life, he has never not had someone telling him what to do. for twelve years, he was isolated in the mountains and for the past three, soubi has lived in the real world, but under seimei’s rule, where he was still heavily isolated and controlled. and in the few times he doesn’t have seimei, such as at his university, he fails miserably at interacting in a real, meaningful way with his peers and environment. to put it simple, agatsuma soubi has no fucking idea how to function in life.

we have a guy who’s never functioned without someone heavily controlling him like a puppet and who has been extremely isolated his entire life, someone who is so fucking depressed that according to kio, he hardly functioned for months after seimei’s death, and someone who’s only reason that he didn’t commit suicide was because he had an order from a dead guy to carry out. and that order was to love a twelve year-old boy. 

what’s more is that, as i explained above, soubi has an extremely warped idea of love. he does not associate it with a feeling. he associates it with physical actions. so when seimei tells soubi to go become ritsuka’s fighter and to love him, soubi’s idea of this ‘love him’ thing is a lot different from a normal person’s. soubi still seems to hold onto this idea of physical affection=love even in the later volumes, but he’s definitely less insistent with the inappropriate touching and actions than he was before. 

but this doesn’t fully explain his annoying behavior in the first few volumes. he was irritating, constantly speaking in riddles and withholding information and teasing and just generally being terrible. and i think one point of information is very important in examining this behavior–that soubi got worse after ritsuka repeatedly told him that he wouldn’t punish him.

basically, soubi’s behavior is like a toddler acting out when they’re told they can’t have something. except, it’s a little different. it’s not that soubi wanted it, persay, it’s that punishment is all he knows and that it’s a main mean of controlling him. this is when, i think, it dawned on soubi that ritsuka and seimei are different people. even from the first fucking chapter, soubi looks more than a little confused when ritsuka grabs his hand and asks him to take pictures with him. to him, this is absolutely not the way people (his masters) are supposed to act around him. the look on soubi’s face when ritsuka starts talking to him so casually is actually kind of hilarious.

‘this is absolutely not what i rehearsed’ 

to put it simply, the first few volumes of loveless are actually soubi falling apart and trying to figure out what the hell to do. he’s in an entirely new situation with himself–he’s making decisions for the first time in his life. he’s suddenly faced with the realization that he’s a goddamn adult and an adult in the relationship he’s trying to peruse. he’s older than the kid he’s fighting for and this kid is an actual kid. he’s not like seimei. i’d say that the first three volumes of loveless are soubi trying to make ritsuka into seimei or force him to act like him, because in his mind, there must be some seimei in there somewhere. 

the turning point, i’d say, for soubi, is somewhere in volume 3. i usually tell people that loveless doesn’t get good until volume 4 or 5, but soubi’s turning point where he realizes that ritsuka is ritsuka is actually somewhere in volume 3. i’d actually wager to say that it might be this scene:

for anyone who doesn’t remember a whole lot of volume 3, there’s a lot of remembering of seimei on both soubi and ritsuka’s parts. this is the volume where we get soubi fully remembering the day seimei told him to go to ritsuka if and when he died. soubi seems to spend a lot of this volume thinking about his past, since it’s also the first appearance of the zeroes and thus, the first appearance of soubi’s past with ritsu, which he also flashes back to in the beginning of the volume. this particular scene with the panel that i posted above is after ritsuka finally deciphers the message he’s been given and enters the wisdom resurrection game. when he does, soubi sort of freaks out and goes over to ritsuka’s house to find him asleep on the desk. the panel above is his immediate reaction and one of the first times we actually get to see soubi’s thoughts. 

when i was young, i like many others interpreted this scene as sexual, but looking at it now, it gives off a completely different feeling of soubi finally coming to the realization that ritsuka is an innocent child and cannot be and will never be seimei. and for a while, it does seem to bother soubi a little, to the point that he actually allows himself to be defeated by the zero girls soon after this scene. after this scene, there’s not a whole lot of creepiness on soubi’s part, though it does take a bit of time to taper off. 

then we get volume 5 soubi, which is where soubi becomes likable. this is where you are intended, writing-wise, to begin actually liking him. prior to this, he’s creepy, but during volume five and onwards, he becomes… human. and this is because this is when soubi actually begins to develop an identity. he starts showing a personality. he becomes an actual person because at this point, soubi has begun to accept that ritsuka isn’t and will never be seimei and he begins to think that maybe–he might be free of seimei. and maybe with ritsuka, even though things are still confusing and weird, it might be okay to develop some sense of a personality. things take their natural course, and soubi does, and he becomes likable to the reader not just because we’re finding out more about him and we’re getting into his head, thoughts, and motivations, but because this version of soubi is actually written as very likable because he’s developing a personality and is not being a meaningless creep anymore whose only personality is being a creep. this is the part of the story that soubi moves into a primary protagonist spot, whereas earlier, he was working against ritsuka, who was our primary protagonist. it’s here that you, as a reader, start to want things for soubi, and it’s because he becomes a ‘good guy’ protagonist.

god, there’s so much i want to talk about in this post. let me move on a little to soubi’s past, which i talked about a bit earlier. i think i may have said this in another post, but i think the primary reason that soubi doesn’t talk about his past with ritsuka isn’t because he was told not to by seimei, because we never actually see seimei telling soubi not to say those things. soubi’s only stipulation from seimei is not to talk about septimal moon or explain anything pertaining to them. however, ritsuka does find out about septimal moon and essentially, the cat is out of the bag after that and ritsuka makes the discovery of ritsu, and actually meets him in soubi’s presence during the WR game. i like this scene a lot because soubi instantly becomes extremely cold and goes against ritsuka’s orders by typing a fucking passive aggressive insult to ritsu by masquerading as ritsuka and that is very funny to me because it’s the most stupidly nefarious thing that we see soubi do in the manga at his own volition. the best part is that soubi was fully willing to keep going if he didn’t get his fucking yelled at when ritsuka immediately found out. 

anyways, soubi completely shuts up or changes the subject at pretty much any time ritsuka or someone else brings up his past with seimei or god forbid even the subject of ritsu. during the scene i talked about in the previous paragraph, soubi goes quiet and stiff when ritsu shows up, natsuo notices and is like “oh, your arm [hand] must still be hurting, so you can’t type, that’s why” and soubi’s fine to just let him think that and doesn’t correct him or anything

he constantly changes the subject when his past comes up and goes so far as to lie to ritsuka about how he lost his ears in an extra (special edition 3, i believe, there’s a link to it on the loveless drive i made). soubi hates talking about his past to the point where i am really getting the feeling that he isn’t doing it for ritsuka’s sake. let me start with this–seimei was weird. seimei knew everything without soubi even telling him. i have no doubt at all that seimei used his past with ritsu against soubi, even to passively taunt him. when soubi got to ritsuka and realized that he didn’t know anything about soubi’s past, it must have been… pretty freeing. because if a person doesn’t know, then they can’t judge you or use it against you, and soubi more likely than not thinks that it’s more painful to talk about it than it is to keep it bottled up, which is completely untrue. soubi doesn’t talk about it in an effort to protect himself from emotional pain.

and that’s the thing–soubi’s character is partially built around the concept of pain. soubi is shown to have a huge tolerance for pain, to the point where it’s just a part of his daily life. this is physical pain, though. i wholly believe that soubi’s entire character can be viewed as an argument to that ‘sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me’ rhyme, because soubi absolutely cannot take emotional pain at all, and he’s put through an enormous amount of it over and over again. the physical pain was a way for him to shut out emotions, and the ownership over him was a way for him to not have to make decisions about anything, including what to feel. but now that he’s lost both of those, there’s only the emotional pain, and a lot of it. 

anyways, i’m gonna stop there for now and save some analysis for other posts i want to do, but let me know if theres anything in specific you want to know my thoughts or further thoughts on!

[wardensantoineandevka]

At the end of Triple Zero, Kal and Ordo have a conversation about the earlier argument Ordo overheard between Kal and Etain. Frankly, it’s a little stunning: two men decide without Etain’s input, and the decision is framed around Darman rather than Etain. That’s an important conversation for a different post, however. I want to focus on Ordo because while he seems like an active player in this decision, he doesn’t have as much freedom as presented.

Please understand I’m not trying to diminish Etain’s suffering in this particular moment nor what Darman is deprived of as a result of this conversation. I’m simply trying to outline what happens to Ordo in this conversation, which I’m suggesting isn’t as easy, free, and straightforward as it appears. I’m making the argument that Kal, inadvertantly or otherwise, plays on Ordo’s emotional vulnerabilities to lock him into agreeing with Kal and that Kal uses Ordo to shoulder the burden that Kal is unwilling to bear himself.

tl;dr

The issue Ordo raises here is that Kal has potentially broken Ordo’s trust, and the trust of the other Nulls, by keeping secrets. Kal, realizing he may lose the Nulls’ trust, tries to argue that their trust has not been broken: he kept secrets, but he never lied. When Ordo is unreceptive to this argument, Kal asks Ordo to make the decision about whether or not Darman should be told Etain is pregnant.

Kal questions if he has the right to even keep this secret, and he fears losing the trust of those around him. Rather than bear the potential consequences of his decision, he pushes the decision onto Ordo, who can take the blame for it if it becomes inconvenient.

Kal frames the issue as agree with me or shoot me, posing a choice that Ordo absolutely cannot make. It’s unreasonable to expect that Ordo would actually choose to murder Kal. It’s emotional blackmail. Generally, the thread of the conversation plays on Ordo’s emotional vulnerabilities with regard to Kal, including Ordo’s inability to disagree because of his intense need to have Kal’s approval.

Ordo isn’t even well-equipped to solve this issue in the first place. He lacks the life experience to make a properly considered decision. Kal knows this. He comments on Ordo lacking in this department multiple times.

Ordo, disadvantaged in many ways in this conversation, has little option but to acquiesce and defer to Kal’s position.

The scene itself

It’s a simple scene: Ordo confronts Kal over what he overheard in the earlier argument between Kal and Etain, and Kal and Ordo come to a decision about what is to be done regarding Etain’s pregnancy and when Darman should be told.

The following is the scene quoted in its entirety. After it is a summary of the narrative beats; skip to that if you prefer.

The scene comes in the chapter directly after Etain and Kal argue and is set in the CSF bar a handful of hours after. Kal narrates. Ordo enters the scene, there is a short exchange about Besany, then it moves into:

“I have a question for you. I need to get hold of Jinart. How would I do that?”

“Easy. She’s a spy. She monitors the GAR troop movements to and from Qiilura. I can put a message in the logistics system that will get her attention. Something subtle. Give me a time and place, and leave the rest to me.”

Skirata had to smile. Almost everything was easy for Ordo. “Back to the barracks then.”

“I have a question for you, too, Kal’buir.”

“Okay.”

“Is it true what Etain said? Did your sons disown you because you stayed on Kamino with us?”

Ordo wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t deaf. Skirata’s family shame was the one thing he never wanted any of them to know about, and not only because it might make them feel guilty. He didn’t want them to fear he might abandon them with equal ease.

“It’s true, Ord’ika.”

“Why would you even think of paying such a terrible price for us?”

“Because you needed me. And I never regretted it for a second. My relationship with my… former family was as good as dead before you were even thought of. Don’t you ever give it a second thought, because I’d do it again in a heartbeat. No question.”

“But I wish we had known.”

Do I have the right to keep another secret, then? “I’m sorry.”

“So apart from Darman’s unborn son, is there anything else you keep from us?”

He’d heard him arguing with Etain, then. Skirata felt the most agonizing shame he had ever experienced in his life. His whole existence now rested on the absolute trust between him and his clone family. He couldn’t bear to lose that.

“So you know what I’m going to ask of Jinart, then. I heard the news when you did, Ord’ika. And no, there is nothing else. I swore I would never lie to you, and I never have.” Skirata pointed to Ordo’s matched blasters. “If I ever do, I’d rather you used those on me. Because being there for you was the only decent thing I ever did in my life. Understand?”

Ordo just stared at him. Skirata put both hands up on his shoulders and stood there in silence.

“Okay, son, tell me what I should do about Darman, and I’ll do it.”

Ordo still had that look of blank appraisal, the expression he adopted when dismantling a new and fascinating puzzle. “I don’t think the time is right. We have to do what’s best for our brothers.”

It was the pragmatic thing to do. Skirata fastened his jacket and checked that his knife was in place, his ritual for leaving any building and walking out into the unknown night. “Agreed, Ord’ika. Now all I need to do is have a little chat with General Zey.”

The narrative beats are as follows:

Kal asks Ordo for advice on contacting Jinart. He does not indicate why he’s contacting Jinart. Ordo gives him an answer, which Kal finds satisfactory, and Kal intends to end the conversation there. 

Ordo (gently) confronts Kal about a secret he learned he overheard Kal and Etain talking about, that Kal was disowned by his biological children, and asks for confirmation. Kal confirms.

Ordo expresses that he doesn’t like that Kal kept secret something so important and so informing of their relationship.

Kal wonders to himself if he has the right to keep another.

Ordo, without verbal prompting, confronts Kal about the intent to keep this other secret from them all, Etain’s pregnancy. Kal realizes that Ordo heard the argument with Etain.

Kal realizes that he stands to lose the trust of those around him and resolves that he cannot lose it.

Kal tells Ordo that he never lied to any of them and assures Ordo that if he ever lies to them he would prefer Ordo shoot him.

When Ordo isn’t responsive, Kal asks Ordo to make the final decision.

After some consideration, Ordo finds that the time is not right to tell Darman about the pregnancy and says they must do what is best. Kal agrees and says he will talk to Zey to implement the plan he outlined to Etain earlier.

Secrets, lies, and whether the difference matters

“I hope so. But in the end, who are the only people we can really trust?”

“Ourselves, Kal’buir.”

His trust was transparent and absolute. “You’re our protector and we’ll always serve you.”

Skirata winced. Faith was devastating if you weren’t up to being a god.

We can trust nobody but our brothers and Kal’buir.

Here, the introduced issue is whether or not Kal can be trusted. He has kept an important secret from the Nulls—Kal’s reasoning aside, that isn’t the issue here—and Ordo had to learn it from someone else during an accidentally overheard conversation. At the same time, Kal intends to keep another secret, one that Kal isn’t immediately forthcoming to Ordo with. Kal, Ordo feels, doesn’t trust the Nulls enough to tell them everything. This is what is at stake for Ordo in this conversation.

That Kal would be forthcoming to all of the Nulls is something not only Ordo and the other Nulls expect, it’s something other characters expect as well; later in the series, Jusik is operates under the false assumption that Kal told all the Nulls about Etain’s pregnancy, and Mereel is plainly hurt that he wasn’t informed.

Ordo, despite his apparent calm, is understandably upset. He’s not antagonistic, but he carries an edge of an accusatory tone, especially in his second statement: Is there anything else you keep from us? Kal asks the Nulls for their trust ever since he met them on Kamino, and Ordo continues to display a trust that is “transparent and absolute”—as described in Kal’s narration only nineteen days earlier. This is a trust so complete that Kal compares it to the faith that one may have in a deity. The idea that Ordo can only trust himself, the other Nulls, and Kal is a recurring one. This breach of trust is serious.

Kal, realizing he stands to lose that long-held trust, immediately begins to convince Ordo that his trust has not been broken. Ordo should continue to trust him because while he kept secrets and intends to keep more, he never outright lied to any of them.

His whole existence now rested on the absolute trust between him and his clone family. He couldn’t bear to lose that.

“So you know what I’m going to ask of Jinart, then. I heard the news when you did, Ord’ika. And no, there is nothing else. I swore I would never lie to you, and I never have.” Skirata pointed to Ordo’s matched blasters. “If I ever do, I’d rather you used those on me. Because being there for you was the only decent thing I ever did in my life. Understand?”

Ordo just stared at him. Skirata put both hands up on his shoulders and stood there in silence.

It’s an attempt to split hairs on the issue and get away on a technicality. Generally, it’s a terrible thing to do; someone comes to you saying they feel hurt and you argue they shouldn’t because “Technically—” Kal is trying to laser focus the trust issue into very specific parameters, even though Ordo directly states that the issue is Kal keeps secrets and Kal fails to return the Nulls’ trust and share information with them. Kal is actively trying to change the rhetoric and terms of the conversation to move himself into a stronger arguing position.

It’s okay because I didn’t outright lie. I don’t have to lose your trust because I didn’t lie.

To reinforce the supposed sincerity of this statement, Kal offers that Ordo take up an ultimatum: should Kal lie to Ordo or any of his siblings, Ordo will shoot Kal.

Even after a silent plea, Ordo doesn’t bite. He makes no motion to accept this new line of argument, implicitly indicating that he believes the difference between lying and keeping secrets doesn’t matter here. The issue is a breach of that absolute trust Ordo gave. However, the remainder of the conversation operates under the hanging rhetoric and threat of Kal’s offer.

Loaded rifles and emotional blackmail

With his offer apparently rejected, Kal puts the problem to Ordo: “Okay, son, tell me what I should do about Darman, and I’ll do it.” It appears to be another show of good will and an appeal to Ordo: if you feel I have broken your trust, and the trust of your siblings, in keeping secrets, then you make the decision if I should keep this one. It’s put forward as an appeal to appease Ordo’s hurt sense of trust, however, it’s not that simple.

While Ordo may not have accepted the line of rhetoric that Kal was working with a minute ago, Kal has still set up the choice: agree with me or shoot me, help me keep a secret from everyone else, including the other Nulls, or kill me. 

It goes like this because that’s how Kal has framed the issue. Kal argues that he will not break their trust until he lies, and Ordo is to shoot him if that happens. Ordo, since bringing the topic up, has maintained his trust was broken because of keeping secrets.

The two choices before Ordo now are essentially:

Tell Darman: maintain his original position—the difference between breaking trust by lying and breaking trust by keeping secrets is negligible in this case, they are both critical breaches of trust—and shoot Kal, as Kal asks

Don’t tell Darman: acquiesce to Kal’s position—the difference between between breaking trust by lying and breaking trust by keeping secrets is an important one in this case, keeping secrets is not as terrible as lying

Technically, there is a third option: tell Darman, maintain that Kal deeply broke Ordo’s trust, and not shoot Kal. But, please remember that Ordo’s strengths do not lie in the rhetoric department. Kal connected the ideas in the way presented in the above two choices.

Ordo cannot make the decision to shoot Kal. He’s entirely incapable of it. The choice left to him is to cede to Kal’s position.

Generally speaking, Ordo is also not in a position to disagree with Kal, and it is a long time before Ordo can bring himself to criticize Kal. They do not have an equal relationship by default, and their relationship is especially imbalanced in this moment in Ordo’s life.

It was all too easy to swagger out of the meeting full of aggressive confidence and forget that Ordo—muscular, lethal, the ultimate soldier—was vulnerable to the approval of one person alone: him. [...]

His [Ordo’s] trust was transparent and absolute. “You’re our protector and we’ll always serve you.”

Skirata winced. Faith was devastating if you weren’t up to being a god.

Somewhere, no matter how much reassurance Skirata gave him, he still seemed to fear that not being good enough meant a death sentence.

Only nineteen days earlier, Ordo regards Kal with an almost religious devotion. While it’s apparent Ordo’s faith has been shaken, that still has strong bearing on his ability to criticize and disagree with Kal. 

In Triple Zero, Ordo is emotionally dependent on Kal and reads Kal’s disapproval as the end of the known universe. He needs Kal to like him. As a result, he is eager to please Kal and to give Kal what he wants. Ordo, when it comes to Kal, is in a very emotionally vulnerable place, and Kal will always have that leverage. Ordo is not in a position to disagree with Kal.

Ordo almost desperately seeks Kal’s validation. Nearly all of his emotional stability and self-worth depends on Kal’s constant approval.

Early in Ordo’s life, Ordo failed standard—essentially failed to gain the approval of Ko Sai and Orun Wa—and was told to die for it, and Ordo sees himself as rescued from death by Kal. After, Ordo pretty much operates on the belief that he continues to live so long as Kal continues to approve of him. Due to this trauma, Ordo lives under a draconian perfection or die rule, and part of this is striving to be always deemed good enough by Kal. This means no mistakes, no disappointments, and, insidiously, no disagreements. To disagree is to risk losing approval.

Ordo cannot remotely risk this. He’s in too emotionally vulnerable a position to do it. Kal, inadvertantly or otherwise, is hitting Ordo’s emotional vulnerabilities and is, arguably, emotionally blackmailing him.

If Kal wanted properly cared about cultivating Ordo’s trust in a healthy way, he should have asked Ordo, “What can I do to make it up for you? How can I regain your trust? What do you want me to do to prove you can trust me?” But, this give control of the conversation completely to Ordo, and Kal is generally unwilling to let control out of his hands. (That’s a post for another time.)

Ordo is pretty much locked into a single decision.

We all decide what those we love should know and not know, and think we’re being kind. Isn’t this where it all started? —Ordo, preparing Etain’s funeral, Order 66

Really, one can argue that Kal looping Ordo into helping make a decision that deeply affects Etain’s life and her relationship with Darman without her input is telling Ordo that Kal will make decisions regarding anyone’s life without their input. Ordo’s realization that Kal is going to make everyone’s decisions for them and his constant pleas for Kal to stop this forms Ordo’s narrative and character arc from True Colors through the rest of the series. Outlining that is for another post, but arguably, it starts here, with this moment.

The pragmatic thing to do

Ordo still had that look of blank appraisal, the expression he adopted when dismantling a new and fascinating puzzle. “I don’t think the time is right. We have to do what’s best for our brothers.”

It was the pragmatic thing to do. Skirata fastened his jacket and checked that his knife was in place, his ritual for leaving any building and walking out into the unknown night. “Agreed, Ord’ika. Now all I need to do is have a little chat with General Zey.”

It’s well-known fact that Ordo, especially at this point in his life, is not equipped with strong social skills. The whys and hows of that aside, it is clearly established he has difficulty navigating emotional problems and often cannot grasp the intricacies of non-professional relationships. He’s only just beginning to learn how to deal with these situations.

He could feel the other part of him, the Ord’ika who wanted to cry for his brothers, but he was very distant, as if in another life: there was just absolute cold detachment in the physical shell where his mind was situated now.

What Ordo is adept at is operational needs, logistical problems, and practical concerns. His decisions tend to be based more in pure logic and pragmatism, operating in what is described as an unemotional, cold, and detached manner. That’s not to say that Ordo isn’t an emotional person—he very deeply is—he just often doesn’t factor emotionality into his decision-making process. He isn’t a good person to ask to solve an emotionally fraught delimma. 

Kal knows these things. Kal himself notes multiple times that Ordo is socially lacking and, even in this passage, notes that Ordo solves things like puzzles, from a detached and unemotional place.

He assesses problems from an unemotional place, and he has difficulty with social situations. However, the specific problem put to Ordo, should Darman be told that Etain is pregnant with his child, is a deeply social and emotionally fraught one. The crux of the issue is an emotional one: How distracted will Darman be if he is told of this? How hurt will Darman be if he learns this was kept a secret from him? How will keeping this a secret strain Etain and Darman’s relationship?

Ordo’s process of decision-making not only is unsuitable for this particular issue, Ordo himself lacks the life experience, perspective, understanding, judgment, and deftness to make an informed, emotionally sensitive, and considered decision. This situation is complex and difficult, even for those with more experience and skill in handling these things.

On top of that, Kal doesn’t give Ordo time to make a considered decision. There was time; Ordo may have already assigned Omega squad to an op, but they don’t leave Coruscant for another seven days. Kal asks Ordo for his judgment on the spot. If Ordo’s carefully considered opinion was truly of that much importance, it would’ve been better to give Ordo time to think about it—but again, this gives too much control to Ordo. And, it may not really matter; Ordo still lacks the perspective to make a properly informed judgment, and he cannot ask others for advice due to the sensitive nature of the situation.

Ordo has little choice but to defer to Kal’s experience. Or, he can’t be expected to make a good decision. He simply isn’t equipped for it.

Whose fault is it anyway? (And why does it matter?)

In the end, the explicit decision Ordo makes is to not tell Darman at this point or in the immediate future and that they must do what is best for “our brothers”. The problem Ordo isn’t weighing is how to treat Etain over the course of her pregnancy, the extent of her involvement in any decisions, where Etain should go, and similar issues.

Ordo’s executive decisionmaking extends to whether or not he, Kal, and Etain should keep this a secret from Darman. Kal implements his own plan about what should be done about (or to) Etain, a plan he already told Etain he would be implementing. While, technically, Ordo could have had input about that—we don’t know, that all takes place off-screen—what we do know is that in this scene, Ordo doesn’t. It simply appears Ordo decides to agree with Kal that Darman shouldn’t be told, and then it appears that Kal takes this as agreement to go ahead with his plan.

But if Ordo made the executive decision, shouldn’t it be his fault? It isn’t Ordo’s plan, and again, Ordo is in an emotionally vulnerable position and is ultimately being emotionally blackmailed by Kal. It’s difficult to speak up in defense of others when you yourself are gagged.

Do I have the right to keep another secret, then? “I’m sorry.”

“So apart from Darman’s unborn son, is there anything else you keep from us?”

He’d heard him arguing with Etain, then. Skirata felt the most agonizing shame he had ever experienced in his life. His whole existence now rested on the absolute trust between him and his clone family. He couldn’t bear to lose that.

Kal questions his right to keep this secret and fears losing the trust of his children. He’s unwilling to make the risk himself and shoulder the responsibility, and he quickly asks someone else to make the decision for him.

By asking Ordo to make the final decision, Kal shifts the moral and emotional responsibility onto Ordo, circumventing Kal’s need to answer the explicitly posed question: Do I have the right to keep another secret? He doesn’t have to answer if he has the right; he’s only doing as Ordo asks. He can blame Ordo.

And Kal briefly does in True Colors. In both narration and in his interaction with others, including Mereel, when it is inconvenient to shoulder the blame, Kal is willing to push the blame entirely onto Ordo rather than accept any of it himself. Kal constantly treats everything that happens as a joint decision, as if he and Ordo are on equal footing, even though throughout True Colors, it’s clear that what happens is per Kal’s decisions and Ordo is doing as Kal says.

In the interest of keeping the length of this post down, I defer to the analysis @izzyovercoffee wrote on the specific scene in True Colors: Kal and abuse: inability to shoulder responsibility (preview). The short of it is: Kal is willing to carelessly destroy one of the most important relationships in Ordo’s life because Kal is unwilling to shoulder the responsibility and potentially destroy his own relationships.

And since Ordo is in a disadvantaged position in this conversation, Ordo is going to let Kal do as he wanted while suffering the consequences if they become inconvenient.

In summary

This section is the same as the tl;dr one at the beginning, but it bears repeating.

The issue Ordo raises here is that Kal has potentially broken Ordo’s trust, and the trust of the other Nulls, by keeping secrets. Kal, realizing he may lose the Nulls’ trust, tries to argue that their trust has not been broke: he kept secrets, but he never lied. When Ordo is unreceptive to this argument, Kal asks Ordo to make the decision about whether or not Darman should be told Etain is pregnant.

Kal questions if he has the right to even keep this secret, and he fears losing the trust of those around him. Rather than bear the potential consequences of his decision, he pushes the decision onto Ordo, who can take the blame for it if it becomes inconvenient.

Kal frames the issue as agree with me or shoot me, posing a choice that Ordo absolutely cannot make. It’s unreasonable to expect that Ordo would actually choose to murder Kal. Generally, the thread of the conversation plays on Ordo’s emotional vulnerabilities with regard to Kal, including Ordo’s inability to disagree because of his intense need to have Kal’s approval.

Ordo isn’t even well-equipped to solve this issue in the first place. He lacks the life experience to make a properly considered decision. Kal knows this. He comments on Ordo lacking in this department multiple times.

Ordo, disadvantaged in many ways in this conversation, has little option but to acquiesce and defer to Kal’s position.

[oumakokichi]

how do you think Rantarou living through chapter 1 would've gone? he seemed pretty reluctant to share information while he was alive, so do you think he'd keep being like that? or would he turn into a team player later on?

This is a really fun ask! Part of why ndrv3 is so fun to meis that while dr1 and sdr2 certainly had their fair share of fun andinteresting characters, they both were always kind of very straightforwardly linear in their developments, and it never took long to figure out whichcharacters in particular would be theessential ones of the group, or receive the most screen time.

By contrast, I feel like ndrv3 subverted that spectacularly,and left a cast where pretty much any single member at random had the potentialto be super interesting had things been different or had they come out a survivor.I’m still salty about things like Kaede being killed off super early, ofcourse, but I can understand why they did it thematically, and while I’d preferthat she hadn’t died, I at least appreciate that ndrv3 was pretty consistentwith its messages and implications that anyonecan be a protagonist, and that no one is entirely safe from the situation they’reall in.

I feel like picturing any of the characters as survivors wouldbe fascinating (I’m really, really looking forward to seeing people’sfanfictions with various “x is a survivor” AUs, because those are all going tobe fun and enjoyable), and Amami in particular is perhaps the best exampleprecisely because of how much room there is to play with his talent, hisknowledge of things that the rest of the group didn’t know, and whether or nothe’d be willing to play ball with the rest of them or not.

Like most first victims in the DR series, Amami was acharacter who was highlighted in many ways by the game’s opening andpromotional art, and who people were intentionally led to believe would beextremely important to the plot. His physical similarities with othercharacters like Komaeda are too striking to be unintentional. Like with Kaede,Kodaka very much wanted people to expect Amami to live either all the way tothe end or relatively far into the game—and like with Maizono and Twogami,proceeded to ax him off in order to put people on their toes.

But the latter two, while certainly advertised as thoughthey would be important to the game beforehand, didn’t change nearly as much bydying as Amami did. Their deaths still impacted the other characters andkickstarted the killing game, to be sure, but Amami’s death simply puts it on awhole new level. He not only knew information that was tremendously vital tothe rest of the group and could perhaps have changed the outcome of thingsentirely, but his dying super early makes his SHSL Survivor talent all the moreironic.

We don’t know much about him, although I’m surebetter-translated versions of his FTEs in the future will help shed quite a lotof light and foreshadowing on him, the same as Tsumugi’s translated FTEs aredoing right now. If I recall correctly, one of his liked presents is evensomething about a “survivor’s flag,” which sheds light on him similar to howMukuro’s liked presents shed light on her SHSL Soldier talent. So most of what wecan assume comes down to guesses and theories, and that’s really fun in its ownway.

I think you’re right in that Amami seems secretive enoughfrom what we can glimpse of him in Chapter 1 that the likelihood of him tellinganyone the whole story would be slim to none, at least not for a while. You don’tsurvive in two previous killing games by being super trusting and giving allyour info away, but then again, it’s also true that you don’t get that far inthe game by actively killing people either.

The risk that committing a murder entails is far greaterthan the risk that participating in the trials and guessing the culprits does.While you can collaborate with other students and share as much information asyou want about the murders, actually committing one almost always means you canrely on no one but yourself, and the fewer people left alive, the greater therisk that you’ll actually be found out, because there’s fewer suspects overall.My guess is that Amami made it to the end of his previous two killing games bywatching, observing, and holding things very close to the chest, but also thathe was shrewd enough to know how and when to collaborate when it was obviouslyin his best interests.

Assuming Amami had survived Chapter 1—let’s just say hedecided to wait before snooping around the library this time around, figuringthat it’d be way too suspicious to go actively checking out where he suspectedthe mastermind’s lair was, and that he’d be better off trying to save hisinformation for later into the game. I can’t see him sharing either his map orhis knowledge about the outside world very willingly at all. Depending on whichcharacters were left alive with him, though, I have no doubt they’d beconstantly trying to force an answer out of him or catch him at anything evenremotely suspicious, since he did sort of give away the fact that he knew morethan the rest of him with his line about the hunt super early into Chapter 1.

I think his willingness to become a team player would dependlargely on which members of the “team” he’d be dealing with. But assuming heinteracted enough with someone like Saihara, or even Momota, I think Amamiwould definitely be clever and cunning enough to realize that teaming up with agroup of obviously supportive people, including a talented detective who is anasset in school trials, would be the best move he could make until the game wasreduced to only 3 or 4 people. And by that point, it’s entirely possible thatseeing the ways in which Saihara carried the group would possibly change hisopinions on certain aspects of the killing game overall.

I don’t think Amami would ever want to come forward as a leaderof the group himself, since doing so wouldn’t mesh with his survival instinctsof wanting to stick to the fray and only volunteer information on aneed-to-know basis. He’s ambitious, and the fact that he’s willingly signed upfor not only one but three killing games voluntarily means he takes winningextremely seriously. But it’s clear he’s not a bad person either: rather than hurtinganyone himself or trying to pit the others against each other, he’s simply muchmore the type to try and go looking around on his own. Which means I do thinkhe would genuinely stand a chance of warming up to the others over time, if hecame to see them more as individuals and less as mere competitors in a game he’splaying to outlast them all.

Again, thank you for asking me this! I don’t think anyonehad asked me about Amami before, so it was fun to talk about my thoughts andguesses on him! I’ll be really excited to see more concrete information abouthim from the FTEs and bonus modes, as well as how the fandom winds upinterpreting him overall.

[scotwresnet]

Firstly I’d just like to take this opportunity to remember both Shad Gaspard and Hana Kimura. Both taken tragically early from us. My thoughts go out to all those who are grieving their loss at this sad time and I’d like to dedicate this article to both of them.

I’d also just like to start this edition of SWN Behind the Art by saying that when I initially started doing this series I had no real idea about what direction I was heading in. It probably showed and probably still does but I think I finally now know what I am aiming to do. I feel that within the last couple of editions you can see huge improvements and my aim is to keep getting better. What I’m trying to show you with these articles is wrestling from a different perspective. Whether it’s interviewing wrestlers and letting them show another side to themselves that you wouldn’t normally see whilst watching them in the ring or just getting a fans perspective of what turns you on and excites you in the wrestling world, I hope this section of the Scottish Wrestling Network website is just as welcome an addition to your consumption of pro wrestling content as all the rest. What I’m really trying to say is thank you for reading my articles and I hope they are providing you with some sort of entertainment and maybe some inspiration in your own life. Thank you.

But that’s enough from me… let’s move on to the main event…

I can’t tell you just how much of a pleasure it was speaking to this wonderful woman. I talked to her over a period of time and a couple of the final questions in this interview were only answered recently with recent events sadly in mind. I admire and thank Aivil for the strength of feeling with which she expresses herself and highly admire her sentiments. Thank you Aivil.

Photo credit Sandy Smith Photography

–

She’s an artist inside the ring and loves to create outside of it too. I’m so lucky and thrilled to be able to bring you a very special interview with former and, no doubt in my mind, future ICW Women’s Champion Aivil.

I won’t ask you to introduce yourself Aivil because those who don’t know who you are by now should be ashamed of themselves and should go right out and research you work right away. But can you give us a brief biography of where you come from and about how you came to be residing in Scotland.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words, but in reality I’m not that special. Just a regular freaky monster 🙂

I was born in Italy and lived there the majority of my life. I moved to Scotland in 2016 for working reasons and with the dream of continuing my wrestling training with some of the very best wrestlers in Europe.

Great. Thank you. Now, Italy has such a rich and illustrious art history doesn’t it? Art must rub of on just about everyone there. I understand you like to draw. What kind of things do you like to draw?

I’ve always been a very creative person. My imagination always runs wild and literally everything (a song, an object, a colour, a person etc) can turn into the most unexpected source of inspiration for me. I like to let my instinct and emotions drive me through everything I do, so my drawings vary a lot.

I love to draw comics and fantasy characters, cyborgs and monsters, but I also like to do portraits, to draw flowers, fashion outfits and there was a time I was also into tattoos sketches.

Nice. Do you have any particular favourite artists? And what about them or their work inspires you?

I love Paolo Barbieri’s art, his elegant trait, the colours, the curves and his ability to improvise on everything. If you guys have never heard of him, go check his art out. It’s stunning! And he’s Italian like me!

To be honest with you, there are so many contemporary artists I love, just to mention a few of them: Kiyo Kyujyo, Luis Royo, Victoria Francés, Xiao Fan Chuan… like I could spend the whole day mentioning artists as I read so many manga and illustrated comics too that it is easy to come up with names. Referring to more classic art, I’ve always loved the colours and the technique of the Impressionists and the perfect proportions and details of the Neoclassicism.

I’d like to touch on your love of manga and comics later on if that’s ok because I understand you like to write also but first I’d like to ask you about your in ring persona. Wrestling is a major art form in itself. It requires a lot of skills that wouldn’t be out of place in say dance or ballet as well as contact sports and it incorporates all the theatricality of acting also. With that being said you include an extra special aspect to your character don’t you? Tell us about your face paint. When and how did that all begin? Has it become a ritual in your performance? And where do you get the inspiration from?

There was never a day I wrestled without my face paint on. For me it’s like wearing a mask that allows me to kick my shyness away for awhile and create that relationship with the crowd that’s so essential in what we do. We are athletes and also storytellers. If we don’t engage with the crowd we’re partially failing as wrestlers. Even though I look very confident from the outside, I have many insecurities. The face paint is a brilliant method, at least for me, to cope with insecurity and let my spirit free.

My inspiration might come from everything around me. Of course, being a clown and a demon priestess, my main inspirations are fellow freaks and Gothic creatures. Paxxo and I, back in the days, took part in a project called Painted for War, where we asked our friends and fans to help us find a character to inspire our next wrestling make up. I think my favourite one to do was Scar, from the Lion King.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You mentioned clown and demon priestess there. Just how did Jokey and Aivil come about?

Both Aivil and Jokey are fragments of my personality. Of course I took inspiration from books, movies and fantasy characters to create my outfits and build up the gimmicks, but they are part of who I already am. That’s why I feel comfortable showing their colours in the ring. It’s a matter of finding yourself along the journey and not being afraid to show it to the world. Your light, your darkness, your clumsiness, your grace, your faults and your strength points. This is also why it’s important for everybody to remember one thing: beyond the character and the masks we are all human beings, just like you. We might be your superheroes or the best villains on the planet, but we are also people. Words affect us the same way they do with you. Please allow me to use this platform to spread a message of love and support. We, the wrestlers, always try to be at our best for our fans, no matter how difficult our life may be. We perform to deliver you joy, emotions and memories. You are allowed to have an opinion, to like us or not. But remember, you can express your thoughts and be respectful at the same time. We are trying our best. Be kind. Don’t wait till it’s too late to show affection and love. And this last statement goes for everyone.

I couldn’t agree with you more and feel free to express anything you want to say here. That’s no problem at all. You said that you like to read manga and comic books, and like to draw fantasy characters. Are you into writing about them also? You like to write don’t you? What does the act of writing give you?

I do love writing. I am currently working on a book to be honest. I started this project years ago, when I was a teenager. It all began as a way to escape from a reality I wasn’t fitting in. Many things happened since that day and then I left the project aside, for lack of time and inspiration. I wasn’t ready to finish the story, to close that chapter of my life. Recently, during the quarantine, I gathered some courage and I started to go through everything I wrote again and again. It needed some sort of editing, as I have changed through the years and so did my writing and my thoughts about life.

I also write short stories and I find very useful to take notes on my feelings or special life circumstances. As I previously mentioned, when I was around 18 years old I fell in a very dark place. I suffered a lot and it was hard to just think about waking up and be ready to live another day of my life. Writing, among other activities like singing and drawing, helped me be brave and strong enough when all I wanted was to lie on the floor and close my eyes for good. It hurts talking about this, but I am glad you are allowing me to share my experience and my love for writing, because maybe I will be able to reach other people who are suffering the same way and somehow help them. Even just by letting them know they are not alone and there is someone who can understand how they feel.

How important do you think art and self expression is to mental well-being?

Art in general is a beautiful way to express your feelings and get rid of all the negativity that piles up in your brain and in your heart.

It could be any form of art. The simple act of expressing yourself freely will let you feel softer and happier, trust me. Don’t be scared of showing your colours to the world. There is nothing wrong in art.

Sometimes we have to carry heavy burdens, you know. And it gets harder and harder. If you keep everything inside, you will eventually explode. I did. Multiple times.

So whenever you feel the fire burning inside your head and you feel thorns in your heart, let yourself free. Get rid of everything. Of the good and the bad emotions. Turn them into something special and unique. In this way they won’t crush you down. They will lift you up instead, they will empower you and everyone will be able to appreciate you throughout your artistic creations.

The most important thing to do, though, is learning how to love yourself first. And you gotta let people in at some point. Some will hurt you for sure, but that’s the only way the light comes in too. You all have that strength inside of you. Be confident and be brave. You are not alone.

I want to add one last little thing. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing interest in my art and letting me talk about such critical and delicate matters, such as mental health and depression. These are dark times, I hope my words can reach out to a few people in need of help and support them. As my grandma taught me, love is the most powerful medicine in the world.

Thank you. Stay safe and take care of each other.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

What more can I say but thank Aivil profusely for taking the time to talk to me. It was truly an honour.

If you’d like to find out more about Aivil and I highly recommend that you do then you can go to her social media pages here:

Instagram: @twisted_priestess Twitter: @Twisted_Doll_AJ Facebook: Jokey & Aivil

And if you’d like to be featured in SWN Fan Art Corner you can send in your art to:

Instagram: @themaskedembroiderer Twitter: @TEmbroiderer Or email us ScotWresNet@gmail.com Or use the hashtags #scottishwrestlingart or #scottishwrestlingfanart

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

[scottish-wrestling-network]

Firstly I’d just like to take this opportunity to remember both Shad Gaspard and Hana Kimura. Both taken tragically early from us. My thoughts go out to all those who are grieving their loss at this sad time and I’d like to dedicate this article to both of them.

I’d also just like to start this edition of SWN Behind the Art by saying that when I initially started doing this series I had no real idea about what direction I was heading in. It probably showed and probably still does but I think I finally now know what I am aiming to do. I feel that within the last couple of editions you can see huge improvements and my aim is to keep getting better. What I’m trying to show you with these articles is wrestling from a different perspective. Whether it’s interviewing wrestlers and letting them show another side to themselves that you wouldn’t normally see whilst watching them in the ring or just getting a fans perspective of what turns you on and excites you in the wrestling world, I hope this section of the Scottish Wrestling Network website is just as welcome an addition to your consumption of pro wrestling content as all the rest. What I’m really trying to say is thank you for reading my articles and I hope they are providing you with some sort of entertainment and maybe some inspiration in your own life. Thank you.

But that’s enough from me… let’s move on to the main event…

I can’t tell you just how much of a pleasure it was speaking to this wonderful woman. I talked to her over a period of time and a couple of the final questions in this interview were only answered recently with recent events sadly in mind. I admire and thank Aivil for the strength of feeling with which she expresses herself and highly admire her sentiments. Thank you Aivil.

Photo credit Sandy Smith Photography

–

She’s an artist inside the ring and loves to create outside of it too. I’m so lucky and thrilled to be able to bring you a very special interview with former and, no doubt in my mind, future ICW Women’s Champion Aivil.

I won’t ask you to introduce yourself Aivil because those who don’t know who you are by now should be ashamed of themselves and should go right out and research you work right away. But can you give us a brief biography of where you come from and about how you came to be residing in Scotland.

Hi everyone, thank you for your kind words, but in reality I’m not that special. Just a regular freaky monster 🙂

I was born in Italy and lived there the majority of my life. I moved to Scotland in 2016 for working reasons and with the dream of continuing my wrestling training with some of the very best wrestlers in Europe.

Great. Thank you. Now, Italy has such a rich and illustrious art history doesn’t it? Art must rub of on just about everyone there. I understand you like to draw. What kind of things do you like to draw?

I’ve always been a very creative person. My imagination always runs wild and literally everything (a song, an object, a colour, a person etc) can turn into the most unexpected source of inspiration for me. I like to let my instinct and emotions drive me through everything I do, so my drawings vary a lot.

I love to draw comics and fantasy characters, cyborgs and monsters, but I also like to do portraits, to draw flowers, fashion outfits and there was a time I was also into tattoos sketches.

Nice. Do you have any particular favourite artists? And what about them or their work inspires you?

I love Paolo Barbieri’s art, his elegant trait, the colours, the curves and his ability to improvise on everything. If you guys have never heard of him, go check his art out. It’s stunning! And he’s Italian like me!

To be honest with you, there are so many contemporary artists I love, just to mention a few of them: Kiyo Kyujyo, Luis Royo, Victoria Francés, Xiao Fan Chuan… like I could spend the whole day mentioning artists as I read so many manga and illustrated comics too that it is easy to come up with names. Referring to more classic art, I’ve always loved the colours and the technique of the Impressionists and the perfect proportions and details of the Neoclassicism.

I’d like to touch on your love of manga and comics later on if that’s ok because I understand you like to write also but first I’d like to ask you about your in ring persona. Wrestling is a major art form in itself. It requires a lot of skills that wouldn’t be out of place in say dance or ballet as well as contact sports and it incorporates all the theatricality of acting also. With that being said you include an extra special aspect to your character don’t you? Tell us about your face paint. When and how did that all begin? Has it become a ritual in your performance? And where do you get the inspiration from?

There was never a day I wrestled without my face paint on. For me it’s like wearing a mask that allows me to kick my shyness away for awhile and create that relationship with the crowd that’s so essential in what we do. We are athletes and also storytellers. If we don’t engage with the crowd we’re partially failing as wrestlers. Even though I look very confident from the outside, I have many insecurities. The face paint is a brilliant method, at least for me, to cope with insecurity and let my spirit free.

My inspiration might come from everything around me. Of course, being a clown and a demon priestess, my main inspirations are fellow freaks and Gothic creatures. Paxxo and I, back in the days, took part in a project called Painted for War, where we asked our friends and fans to help us find a character to inspire our next wrestling make up. I think my favourite one to do was Scar, from the Lion King.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

You mentioned clown and demon priestess there. Just how did Jokey and Aivil come about?

Both Aivil and Jokey are fragments of my personality. Of course I took inspiration from books, movies and fantasy characters to create my outfits and build up the gimmicks, but they are part of who I already am. That’s why I feel comfortable showing their colours in the ring. It’s a matter of finding yourself along the journey and not being afraid to show it to the world. Your light, your darkness, your clumsiness, your grace, your faults and your strength points. This is also why it’s important for everybody to remember one thing: beyond the character and the masks we are all human beings, just like you. We might be your superheroes or the best villains on the planet, but we are also people. Words affect us the same way they do with you. Please allow me to use this platform to spread a message of love and support. We, the wrestlers, always try to be at our best for our fans, no matter how difficult our life may be. We perform to deliver you joy, emotions and memories. You are allowed to have an opinion, to like us or not. But remember, you can express your thoughts and be respectful at the same time. We are trying our best. Be kind. Don’t wait till it’s too late to show affection and love. And this last statement goes for everyone.

I couldn’t agree with you more and feel free to express anything you want to say here. That’s no problem at all. You said that you like to read manga and comic books, and like to draw fantasy characters. Are you into writing about them also? You like to write don’t you? What does the act of writing give you?

I do love writing. I am currently working on a book to be honest. I started this project years ago, when I was a teenager. It all began as a way to escape from a reality I wasn’t fitting in. Many things happened since that day and then I left the project aside, for lack of time and inspiration. I wasn’t ready to finish the story, to close that chapter of my life. Recently, during the quarantine, I gathered some courage and I started to go through everything I wrote again and again. It needed some sort of editing, as I have changed through the years and so did my writing and my thoughts about life.

I also write short stories and I find very useful to take notes on my feelings or special life circumstances. As I previously mentioned, when I was around 18 years old I fell in a very dark place. I suffered a lot and it was hard to just think about waking up and be ready to live another day of my life. Writing, among other activities like singing and drawing, helped me be brave and strong enough when all I wanted was to lie on the floor and close my eyes for good. It hurts talking about this, but I am glad you are allowing me to share my experience and my love for writing, because maybe I will be able to reach other people who are suffering the same way and somehow help them. Even just by letting them know they are not alone and there is someone who can understand how they feel.

How important do you think art and self expression is to mental well-being?

Art in general is a beautiful way to express your feelings and get rid of all the negativity that piles up in your brain and in your heart.

It could be any form of art. The simple act of expressing yourself freely will let you feel softer and happier, trust me. Don’t be scared of showing your colours to the world. There is nothing wrong in art.

Sometimes we have to carry heavy burdens, you know. And it gets harder and harder. If you keep everything inside, you will eventually explode. I did. Multiple times.

So whenever you feel the fire burning inside your head and you feel thorns in your heart, let yourself free. Get rid of everything. Of the good and the bad emotions. Turn them into something special and unique. In this way they won’t crush you down. They will lift you up instead, they will empower you and everyone will be able to appreciate you throughout your artistic creations.

The most important thing to do, though, is learning how to love yourself first. And you gotta let people in at some point. Some will hurt you for sure, but that’s the only way the light comes in too. You all have that strength inside of you. Be confident and be brave. You are not alone.

I want to add one last little thing. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for showing interest in my art and letting me talk about such critical and delicate matters, such as mental health and depression. These are dark times, I hope my words can reach out to a few people in need of help and support them. As my grandma taught me, love is the most powerful medicine in the world.

Thank you. Stay safe and take care of each other.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

What more can I say but thank Aivil profusely for taking the time to talk to me. It was truly an honour.

If you’d like to find out more about Aivil and I highly recommend that you do then you can go to her social media pages here:

Instagram: @twisted_priestess Twitter: @Twisted_Doll_AJ Facebook: Jokey & Aivil

And if you’d like to be featured in SWN Fan Art Corner you can send in your art to:

Instagram: @themaskedembroiderer Twitter: @TEmbroiderer Or email us ScotWresNet@gmail.com Or use the hashtags #scottishwrestlingart or #scottishwrestlingfanart

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

Behind The Art #16: Aivil/Jokey

[pastordorry-blog]

Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch

Acts 8:26-40

Summer Series on Acts Week 7

July 21, 2019

         Last Sunday Phil and I worshipped at the Reformed Church of the Tarrytowns, in Tarrytown NY—located along the Hudson River about an hour north of New York City. The town is also known as Sleepy Hollow, as in Ichabad Crane and the headless horseman.  The church is adjacent to the cemetery where the headless horseman is said to have been buried, and one of their ongoing mission projects is their “midnight rides”, where they go into New York City and deliver food and clothing to people in need. If you’ve got a local legend as colorful as the headless horseman, why not capitalize on it?

We didn’t see the headless horseman while we were there, nor did the place feel haunted to me.  But it did feel old.  The building’s construction started in 1685.  That’s right, 1685.  To put that in perspective, that was a good 150 years before anyone was worshipping at Lima.  I think it may have been the oldest American church building I have ever been in.  These days the church has a modern building right in town that is their primary worship space, but in the summer and on Christmas Eve they open up the historic building and hold worship services there. As we waited for the service to begin, I thought about all the people who have come over the years to worship and pray in that space, which got me to thinking about the first people, those that got the church started.  Do you think those pioneering Dutch settlers who started the church had any idea what it would look like 300 years later?

Well I’m sure they didn’t anticipate that eventually wood stoves in churches would be replaced by oil heating systems, and outhouses would be replaced by indoor plumbing, and hymn books would largely be replaced by words projected on to screens!  How could they imagine any of that?  But my guess is, if they had enough faith to build a church building, they were people who understood that God is always at work expanding the Church.  There may be seasons of painful pruning, times of low harvest, and even times of local and regional decline.  But the big picture of God’s work is toward growth. Growth in terms of numbers, growth in terms of geography, and growth in terms of maturity.

We see this in the book of Acts.  First there is growth in numbers.  3,000 people converted on Pentecost!  Day by day the Lord added to the numbers of the very early church.  As we move further into Acts, we begin to see growth in terms of geography.  After the stoning of Stephen, persecution forced many members of the early church to scatter, and as they scattered, they preached the word of God wherever they went.  Jesus himself told his disciples this would be the case.  Acts 1:8 says, “And you will be my witnesses, in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  

But this growth, in numbers and geography, could only be accomplished by people who were willing to grow in maturity.  It could only be accomplished by people who were willing to let go of the old so they could embrace the new.  The first Christians had to let go of their waiting and embrace Jesus as Messiah.  It takes a lot of courage to make a change like that!  Then they had to let go of their old prejudices.  Earlier in Acts chapter 8, which we didn’t have time to cover in church, Philip was amazingly cooperative and obedient when he followed God’s command to preach the gospel to the Samaritans.  For hundreds of years there had been terrible bad blood between the Jews and the Samaritans—and now, in Christ, their division was being healed.  But only because Philip, and then Peter and John, were willing to get over their prejudices.  The gospel grew only because people were willing to change and grow.

Witnesses in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria—the book of Acts records for us how Jesus’ prophecy was fulfilled.  And now Philip has obeyed God’s call to head south from Jerusalem toward Gaza and shares the gospel with a Gentile.  The conversion of the Ethiopian eunuch is the lynchpin, the turning point for the gospel to be spread to the ends of the earth.

Luke doesn’t tell us his name.  But he does tell us he is an important man.  We can tell that by his ride.  Only very important people rode in chariots—most people walked, a few had donkeys, but a chariot?  That’s like having a Ferrari today!  Luke tells us that this man was secretary of the treasury.  He was in charge of all the financial resources of his country.  He most likely had very dark skin, because that was called Ethiopia then is northern Sudan now.  Luke also tells us he was a eunuch, which in scripture is an imprecise term, it can mean a range of things, but Luke includes this detail to show us the man was precluded from fully participating in Judaism.  But his physical issues would not be a problem in terms of the gospel.  He was fully acceptable to God, and was able to become a baptized believer on the spot. We can assume that the Ethiopian eunuch returned to his home a powerful evangelist!

Luke is basically hitting his readers over the head with the gospel message, that the good news of Jesus Christ was never intended for only one particular group of people, for one small subset of the human race. The good news of Jesus Christ was meant for ALL.  Rich and poor.  Dark and light.  Jew and Gentile.  We celebrate this at Christmas—for unto all of us a child is born.  But Jesus told us the good news of God’s love would no longer be conveyed only through him.  It would be conveyed through us.  We get to be his witnesses, his ambassadors, his body.  “And you will be my witnesses, in Jerusalem, in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”  

We recall these words and don’t give them too much thought, but wow!  Talk about revolutionary!  First, that God would entrust the sharing of the gospel to regular people like us, okay, to me that’s a wow.  Second, that the gospel would be so transforming it would break down barriers and prejudices.  And third, that this work would continue until the ends of the earth are somehow made new.  You WILL BE my witnesses.  Not you were once.  Or you are for a minute or two.  But YOU WILL BE my witnesses eternally.  Even in heaven, we never stop being witnesses.  See what I mean when I say that the big picture of God’s work is always toward growth?

Let’s think for a minute about the ends of the earth. Growing up in a rural area, I was familiar with designations such as “the sticks”, “boondocks”, “East Jabip” and “Timbuktu”.  Turns out Timbuktu is a real place, not just a metaphor!  In Jesus’ day, if you wanted to talk about the ends of the earth, you know what you said?  Ethiopia! It was, in legendary and mythological terms, the way you expressed the ends of the earth.  God commands Philip to go to Gaza, which was in the desert—another place that might feel like the ends of the earth—and on his way he meets who? A eunuch from Ethiopia.  God uses Philip to share the gospel with a man who is, in some way, the end of his family line, who is from the ends of the earth, and who has reached the end of his understanding about God—God uses Philip to take this man who is at the end, and brings about in him a whole new beginning.

And God is still using people to do that work today.  This week we’ve heard a lot about the 50th anniversary of the Apollo 11 mission to the Moon.  Did you know that while Neil Armstrong prepared to be the first person to walk on the moon, Buzz Aldrin set out elements for communion?  He said, “I poured the wine into the chalice.  In the one-sixth gravity of the moon the wine curled slowly and gracefully up the side of the cup.  It was interesting to think that the very first liquid ever poured on the moon and the very first food eaten there were communion elements.”  Talk about the ends of the earth!  The big picture of God’s work is always toward growth. Not just numerical growth, but also geographic growth.  Human beings are carrying the Spirit of God every place they go. Even to the moon.  

Philip didn’t go to the moon.  Just to Samaria, and the desert, and a few other places listed later that are not familiar to us.  He was an “ends of the earth” kind of guy.  I think Luke spends so much time on this one person’s conversion so we can see the direct correlation between Philip’s willingness to serve, change and grow—and the direct impact that made on other people’s lives.  Earlier in Acts, Philip stepped up as a deacon to help care for the widows in the church.  Then he willingly went to Samaria, where he helped many people encounter God.  He was having quite a run there when God called him to head to the desert.  He wasn’t worried about staying where he could be “successful”.  He followed God to the new frontier, and there used all he had to serve well.  Maybe that is why, almost 54 years ago now, when my in-laws were blessed with a baby boy, they decided to name him Philip with one L, like it is in the Bible.  They wanted him to be a person who uses all he has to serve the Lord, just as they were doing.

About a month ago, I listened to a sermon online by Bishop Latrelle Easterling of the Baltimore Washington Conference.  She was preaching at their ordination service, not only to the newly ordained clergy in her conference, but to all the many lay people in attendance.  She made a distinction between being a volunteer, and being a servant.  Reading about Philip this week made me think more about that. Volunteers help when they feel like it; servants help when God calls them.  Volunteers help to get a certain personal reward; servants are only interested in glorifying God.  Volunteers retain the right to say no to any particular task that is too difficult, too demeaning, too controversial; servants strive to keep their hearts open to saying yes to whatever it is God asks of them.  Volunteers make a difference; servants make a sacrifice.

One of the sacrifices of servanthood is moving on. After his encounter with the Ethiopian official, Luke tells us Philip was suddenly taken away.  I’m sure this was sad for both of them.  The Ethiopian man would have loved more time with Philip, more time to ask him questions and develop a spiritual friendship.  Philip probably would have enjoyed more chariot rides!  But God needed Philip elsewhere.  Next week we will say good-bye to Pastor Brad and his family.  This will be sad for all of us.  But gracefully letting go is at the heart of being a servant.  Letting go of the old so we can embrace the new.  Letting go of the people who explained so much to us and made such a difference for us—so we can deepen our dependence on God.  Growing up means moving on.  And as bittersweet as that is, it is the primary way the gospel spreads.

We cannot imagine what Lima church, or any church, will look like in 300 years.  Our oil heating will no doubt be replaced by something much more efficient and sustainable by then.  I don’t know if indoor plumbing will change much, probably it will also be more efficient and sustainable.  Maybe we will compost all our waste and mow our lawn with goats!  No doubt the church of the future will be employing much different technology than we have today.

We cannot picture the specifics of what church will look like in the future.  But we do know that the big picture of God’s work is always toward growth.  And we can decide to join God in God’s work of expansion. Do you believe God is at work expanding the reach and impact of God’s Church in the world???  It’s true!  It’s not a headless horseman story.  It’s not legend or myth or fiction.  It is our faith.  Will you offer everything you have, in service to the greatest story of all time, the story of God’s love for the whole world as shown in the person and gospel of Jesus Christ?  Amen.

[paintandpotions]

The 7 Common Stereotypes When It Comes To SEO 2019

Perform you aspire to turn into a Research Engine Optimizer (SEO)? Here's the fantastic news: You don't have in order to have to be a SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION wizard to make sure your own website is well positioned with regard to organic search engine traffic. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is the acronym for lookup engine optimisation. The particular search engines have refined their own algorithms along with this development, numerous tactics that worked within 2004 can hurt your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION today. Therefore, we also produce content on conducting keyword study, optimizing images for search motors, creating an SEO strategy (which you're reading right now), plus other subtopics within SEO. In 2018 there will be an also bigger focus on machine studying and SEO from data. ” Of course, the amplification part of things will continue in order to incorporate increasingly with genuine public relationships exercises rather than shallow-relationship hyperlink building, which will become progressively easy to detect by lookup engines like google. Seo (SEO) is often regarding making small modifications to components of your website. In my SEO content writing guidelines I suggest a person take your main keyword plus 3 or 4 other associated keywords and write at 3-4%. Some SEO specialists claim that will building links for SEO functions is pointless; others believe typically the role of backlinks for the internet site has continually risen through this years. Search engine optimization (SEO) is a huge part associated with any marketing strategy. This fresh paradigm of users relying upon voice search for many associated with their search needs will become a game changer for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. If you understand you might have VERY lower-quality doorway pages on your own site, a person should remove them or think again about your SEO strategy if a person want to rank high within Google for the long phrase. One of the difficulties search engines like yahoo and Bing have usually attempted to overcome is knowing which external links exist exclusively for SEO purposes and which usually links represent a true indicator that the source content is definitely of value to the visitors. 2018 has currently seen some particularly significant SEO paradigm shifts from Mobile First” in order to the ever-advancing Rankbrain machine-learning formula. Content marketing is definitely a bigger approach which along with SEO forms a part associated with your digital marketing strategy. What You Should Know: Typically 10 Moments To Remember From SEO 2019 the future of search engine marketing is Semantic SEO. Links plus technical SEO are the biggest pieces of the pie, yet multimedia efforts such as movie, photos, and podcasts will end up being the game changer and differentiator in many competitive markets. Occasional, and We do more occasional and not really frequent, usage of keywords plus keyword phrases in these hyperlinks may also help very somewhat in your SEO processes. Excelling at SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION means serving your visitors—not simply search engines. Here arrives the idea of SEO or even search engine optimization. The particular fact remains that SEO providers assure clients that even in the event that the site will not position among the top search motors like google, the money can not be a waste owing to the refund. You will end up being introduced to the foundational components of how search engines such as google work, how the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION landscape is promoting and exactly what you can expect in the particular future. The SISTRIX Toolbox consists associated with six modules 1) SEO, 2) Universal, 3) Links, 4) Advertisements, 5) Social and 6) Optimizer. Low-quality content can severely impact the achievements of SEO, within 2018. When your own SEO starts building strong environment, competitors can start maligning your own SEO backlinks. ” With content marketing spend likely to reach $300 billion by 2019, this statistic is worrisome. Now the electronic marketing companies know how in order to use AI for SEO, plus in coming years AI can dominate in developing the SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION strategies of the digital marketing and advertising companies. Ray Cheselka, AdWords and SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Manager at webFEAT Complete, the design and SEO agency, states that in 2019 search intention Blog9T will continue to become even more important. Expert writers of SEO articles will certainly take the time to study the particular industry or specialized niche market. 2 tools to help with regional SEO are BrightLocal (for rankings) and MozLocal (for local lookup optimization). Concerning on-page SEO best practices, I usually link out to other quality related pages on other websites exactly where possible and where a human being would find it valuable. It includes a well known Routine Table of SEO Success Factors”, a 9-chapter guide to SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION basics, and links to several from the site's most useful blog posts. We all desired to look at a large group that included businesses of just about all sizes and in all sectors so we could really notice how SEO traffic increased whenever the only common denominator was including reviews to their site. In truth, this is section of the SEO technique we have used to continuously grow our organic traffic throughout the last 12 months right here at SnapApp: #3. Mobile can account for 72% of ALL OF US digital ad spend by 2019. This workshop will be designed to help business proprietors implement Digital Marketing techniques with regard to their business including social mass media, organic SEO as well since paid channels. The Beginner's Guide in order to SEO continues to be go through over 3 million times plus offers comprehensive information you require to get on the road to professional quality Search Motor Optimization, or SEO. Whether it's using web analytics for carrying out research or even conversion tools that monitor plus report the usage of essential keywords, SEO agencies know just how and where you can obtain the information they need in order to save time furthermore decrease your in-house price. Presently there is probably no more fundamental strategy for SEO than the particular integration of internal links directly into your site - it is definitely an easy way to improve traffic to individual pages, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Consult says. SEO SERVICES Presently there are a number of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION services which can help enhance the organic search engine ratings of a website.

"SEO" is a term that will be used to describe the procedure by which visitors a specific site is increasingly generated simply by search engines by means of search results. These white-hat cellular SEO tips will help a person to avoid internet search motor penalties and maintain better on the internet visibility. SEO or lookup engine optimization techniques will deal with these requirements of a web site. AI and tone of voice search have already begun in order to impact SEO, and as these types of technologies continue to develop, all of us can expect to see a lot more changes in the way SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is performed. In the second chapter of our SEO manual, you will learn how research engines work, how people make use of them and what type of lookup queries they submit. You need in order to provide regular posts either daily or at least several instances a week in order in order to gain a following and supply enough unique SEO content in order to keep your search engine rankings high, attract new viewers plus convince people that you are usually the expert in your industry. Voice lookup will change the way we interact along with search engines and it may make SEO even more competing and vital to online achievement. Our SEO outreach team connect your brand and curated content with key on the web influencers to get people speaking about you & sharing your own message. Yet, with the research engines like google continually modifying their rules SEO may appear confusing and overwhelming. Understanding what these words really imply, and how SEO analysts make use of them to boost your cyberspace search engine results, may end up being a whole other story. It's maybe not an ideal SEO page title because of the multiple distinct services, however the structure might give rise to rankings for some long-tail keyword phrases. SEOs will have to collaborate carefully with designers and developers in order to prioritize technical SEO and user friendliness search engine ranking factors to get a competitive edge. Further SEO Smart hyperlinks allows you to set upward your own personal keywords and set associated with matching URLs. When search engine optimization SEO will not involve ethical practices, the particular website may have low presence on Google or maybe be eliminated from the Google index. An SEO technique is definitely considered white hat if this conforms to the search engines' guidelines and involves no deceptiveness. As an SEO, which indicates that you have to considerably raise your standards around high quality content and links in purchase to achieve top search motor rankings. Most SEO focuses on customization for Google's search engine, which usually dominates the overall search marketplace with a share of more than 90%. 7. Social indicators may even become more essential to SEO with time. Solitary Grain is really a electronic marketing agency that helps businesses like Uber, Amazon and Salesforce grow their revenues online making use of SEO plus paid advertising. This may be a growth chance intended for content marketing-specific agencies and the necessary and justified budget series item for in-house SEO groups. SEO includes both technical and creative components necessary to improve rankings, drive visitors, and increase awareness in research engines. A greater number associated with people will stick to tone of voice search, so SEO specialists can need to adjust to this particular relatively new kind of lookup. Seo or SEO is usually a powerful method to generate targeted traffic to your web site and hopefully increase your bottom part line. Whilst many marketing tactics rely upon you reaching out to your own audience, SEO gives you the particular power to achieve people whenever they are actively searching away information related to your solutions and products. Light hat SEOs the actual recommendations of Google and other lookup engines like google. As Google's search engine outcomes become increasingly monetized and various other platforms such as Amazon plus YouTube gain more SoV plus search volume, I think wish overdue for the focus associated with SEO to shift far through Google. Traditional SEO is definitely focused on building (keyword relevant) links and (keyword relevant) articles. The main reason these kinds of are sometimes misunderstood is because you will find a whole Internet underbelly of alleged SEO companies that you may pay to link to your own site on their networks associated with low-quality articles. However, before we obtain to our main event, We must note that after our own 2017 edition of SEO styles launched last year on Lookup Engine Journal, we heard the couple of complaints about simply how long it was. After that your boss tells you if you're accountable for search engine marketing (SEO), too. Michael jordan Harling, SEO Specialist at Roman Blinds Direct, agrees with the particular consensus that voice search will certainly be the trend in 2019. Search engine optimisation (SEO) is one of the particular most important marketing things to consider upon your studio website. SEO might generate a sufficient return upon investment However, search engines are usually not covered organic search visitors, their algorithms change, and presently there are no guarantees of continuing referrals. An excellent starting point whenever using keywords for SEO will be to identify existing pages that will may use some optimization. These are called keywords, plus as you will see, they will are an important part associated with SEO. In fact, this particular will actually hurt your cyberspace SEO because search engines such as google will recognize it because keyword stuffing - or the particular act of including keywords particularly to rank for that key word, rather than to answer the person's question. Prior to we begin, one thing a person want to keep in thoughts when using some of the following SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION elements is not to overdo it. You might be enticed to shove a lot associated with keywords onto your pages, yet that is not the objective. In situation you create links to some other websites and reverse, it may improve your SEO ranking. Really Cisco predicts that globally, on the internet video traffic will be eighty percent of all consumer Web traffic by 2019 (a amount that is up from sixty four percent in 2014). I've bookmarked therefore many SEO websites and assets that it's overwhelming to actually look at. Link authority is the major component of SEO, yet purchasing links is forbidden simply by Google, Bing, and other lookup engines.

By merging a whole new way to work along with SEO and prioritized lists associated with recommendations—not to mention competitor evaluation and keyword monitoring—Siteimprove SEO is definitely your all-in-one tool to develop traffic, prove ROI, and easily create content. All the SEO developments listed here may have started in late 2017 or earlier 2018, but their true advantage could be reaped in 2019. Google's Steve Mueller said on Twitter, along with the disclaimer of him placing his user hat on (ofcourse not Google hat), that relabeling older content as new, with simply no additional changes is a poor SEO hack. All of us associated with creatives, designers & developers function alongside our SEO & articles teams to ideate, research, style & create remarkable infographics and interactive content for brands that will get shared across the internet. Contemporary SEO strategy may be the process associated with organizing a website's content simply by topic, which helps engines like google realize a user's intent when looking. Page loading time is dependent upon Page Load speed, Web page loading time is one associated with the important factors in Portable SEO 2017. Sociable Media as a platform are unable to be ignored in any SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION plan. Seo stands intended for search engine optimization, when a person are searching for an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION or Search Engine Optimization Organization then you needs to appear for various factors which may have a favorable and undesirable affect on your business.

Search Motor Optimization (SEO) is the technique to campaign your products on the web towards the right clientele intended for increasing ROI. There are many tools upon the web to assist along with basic keyword research (including the particular Google Keyword Planner tool and there are even more useful third party SEO tools to help you perform this). The biggest change that will we'll see in 2019 (and that's already happening) is the particular fact that keywords are getting less important. Once you've discovered your keywords, use another SEMrush tool, the SEO Content Design template, which is part of their own Content Marketing Toolkit, to function out the best way in order to optimize your content. If a company is providing you all these services below one roof, climbing up the particular SEO ranking will not end up being an uphill task for your own business any more. Local SEO companies allows a person to position your business upon search engines like google plus other digital marketing platforms therefore you're seen by potential clients — on their terms. YouTube adds the particular nofollow” tag to their hyperlinks, so they don't really assist with SEO. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION isn't just about building lookup engine-friendly websites. The sooner you understand precisely why Google is sending you much less traffic than it did a year ago, the sooner you can clear it up and focus upon proactive SEO that starts to effect your rankings in a beneficial way. The trending SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION technique or strategy now plus in 2019 will be Research Enterprise Optimization It has already been coined by myself since 2015. SEO is really the shortened phrase for search motor optimization. I believe SEO within 2019 will largely be such as SEO in 2018, with the particular exception of some big” Search engines update that wipes out sufficient websites to make people think the algorithms have grown significantly smarter. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION works by optimizing a cyberspace pages, conducting keyword research, plus earning inbound links. The business offers excellent SEO packages that will help rank the clients' site within top three pages associated with search engine pages. That can make SEO an ideal lead era tool, because when searchers stick to links back to your web site, you have the chance in order to convert them to leads, plus later make sales. Whenever asked to point out ideas that are unique towards the particular web, most people will arrive up with two main types: SEO and social media. How many links do a person need for good off-page SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION? If you are carrying out a professional SEO audit to get a genuine business, you are going in order to have to think like the Google Search Quality Rater Plus a Google search engineer to offer real long-term value to the client. 44. Give your own social media profiles an SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION boost. 10% of our experts believe that will there's likely to be the lot of focus on cellular in 2019, as older SEOs realize optimizing for desktop is usually pointless. White hat SEO is not really just about following guidelines, yet is about ensuring that the particular content the search engines indexes and eventually ranks may be the same content the user will see.

Generally there are a few fundamentals that will can help boost the technique, but SEO, or seo, is usually hardly ever considered. While employing the services of a great SEO agency can get a person good marketing copy for the particular website and an effective make use of of the related keywords, getting a brilliantly designed website will certainly help a lot when this comes to attracting people plus even the search engines in order to your website. You are able to get into important SEO-related data like the particular page title, description, and key phrases for every page or a person can have the system immediately populate this data depending upon a document name or some other fields. SEO has become broadly adopted as an online marketing and advertising strategy due to its effectiveness. Creating high-quality content along with SEO in your mind through the beginning boosts search presence. In contrast, dark hat SEO is about attempting to take shortcuts and video game search engines. You may also use Google Analytics in order to find SEO keywords for content material optimization. Keyword research is the particular process SEOs value to discover what search queries consumers get into into a search engine intended for a given topic. Within today's rapidly shifting world, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION techniques can change on the dime—and the worst part will be that you might not also know it. Hacks that can have won you a front-page result as recently as 2016 are not only obsolete today, but they may even harm your website's rankings. I think it as simple as a good example to illustrate an factor of onpage SEO or ‘rank modification', that's white hat, completely Google friendly plus not, ever going to trigger you a issue with Search engines. So in the event that you want to get began which includes basic SEO, the particular first thing that I would certainly recommend would be choosing the set of keywords for every page on your website. Away page, SEO has contrasted along with it. Undoubtedly, off page optimisation is all about link developing, but the quality links plus content. By way of a direct incorporation of Google's Search Console, Siteimprove SEO helps you understand how the particular world's most popular search motor and its users see and—more importantly—find your website. On Page Ranking Factors — Moz's on page ranking aspects explains the different on web page elements and their importance within SEO. Surprisingly enough, some sort of lot of SEOs out generally there do tend to underestimate the particular power of Google Trends The particular tool has a separate "YouTube search" feature, which hides beneath the "Web search" option. An SEO agency may work together with a firm to provide an added viewpoint, when it comes to knowing and developing marketing strategies intended for different sectors and various varieties of business websites. Given the ratings and search volume, SEO may drive considerable traffic and prospects for Grainger. SEO stands for research engine optimization - that significantly has stayed the same. But they keep on altering their algorithms making it tough to rely on one specific tool for SEO optimization Plus today you could have a good appropriate rank which may not really last in the coming 6 months. Businesses with multiple websites and SEO-agencies can set up report layouts. Its search engine marketing group provides expertise in Pay-per-click marketing services, organic SEO and sociable media optimisation. The particular ads that you often discover on various web pages demonstrated and those that also show up on the rightmost side associated with search engine results are inorganic SEO examples. While I nevertheless see this trend in have fun with with many enterprises still within the midst of their electronic transformation, the convergence in the particular MarTech space is creating numerous synergies and opportunities and this particular should be seen as the welcome development for brands plus agencies who are looking with regard to an edge in regards in order to their SEO driven content marketing and advertising or outreach strategies. Along with the only complete certainty that SEO's, Website owners may have several adjustments to make to sites under their care in the particular mobile and voice search surroundings. The basics of GOOD SEO hasn't changed for years - even though effectiveness of particular elements provides certainly narrowed or changed within type of usefulness - a person should still be focusing upon building a simple site making use of VERY simple SEO best practices - don't perspiration the small stuff, while all-the-time paying attention to the essential stuff - add plenty of unique PAGE TITLES and lots associated with new ORIGINAL CONTENT. Keyword research is usually THE first step of any kind of SEO campaign. Head associated with Marketing at @impressiontalk specialising within user-centred SEO, PAGE RANK, content marketing and digital technique. Primary will be on inbound marketing, including almost everything from SEO to social press. However, a good agency providing SEO services is definitely all about being proactive in order to keep up-to-date with the most recent search engine news and modifications in SEO techniques. Video marketing provides new opportunities to drive even more visitors your site and enhance its SEO status. Research Engine Optimisation (SEO) in 2018 is really a technical, synthetic and creative process to enhance the visibility associated with the website in search motors. Off-page SEO makes reference to the actions taken exterior of your personal website that may help boost your search engine motor rankings. Mainly because of this insufficient visibility this can be hard to create a sound business case intended for SEO, even though it is usually strikingly obvious of the advantages to most companies of the particular number one position on Search engines. This particular is a time-honored SEO exercise called broken link building. Definitely engaging in reputation management, content material management and SEO (Search Motor Optimization) can give even the particular smallest business a chance in order to compete globally. Whether you are already adding SEO into your online marketing and advertising mix or not, you may ask yourself how aCO website stacks up against acom. With recent Google modifications, failure to look after cellular SEO could result in research invisibility, and mobile's bringing various other changes you'll need to end up being ready for.

[koopatzi]

The 7 Common Stereotypes When It Comes To SEO 2019

SEO. Based on SEO software program company Moz's bi-yearly survey upon search engine ranking factors, the particular titles on your page are usually one of the nine nearly all important considerations a search motor makes. Having an SEO technique that effectively promotes your pictures business, driving new traffic and even taking into consideration the requirements of the site visitors although you concentrate on perfecting the art is a really strong tool. SEO is Lookup Engine Optimization and it is definitely required for make a internet site view-able. And you may see the section on exactly where to use keywords for even more information on integrating these key phrases into your SEO content technique. 22. Use social media in order to boost local SEO. SEO is the acronym for Seo. Even though certain techniques of SEO articles remain the same, like not really compromising on quality; there are usually definitely techniques which have developed from the past and a person should find out whether your own SEO articles writing services are usually very well aware of that will or not. SEO service suppliers are specialized in increasing the particular traffic to your site simply by increasing your position in the particular search engine ranking positions. Entice international people to your web sites with these SEO tips. The top challenges within organic SEO are link creating (easy-to-get links no more have got much value) and keyword analysis (the low-hanging fruit is lengthy gone). For instance, the phrase ‘SEO tips' is furthermore included inside the less aggressive phrase ‘SEO tips 2019', which usually is searched for too. An SEO on the web marketing strategy is a extensive plan to get more individuals to your website through research engines. Several search optimizers try to key Google by using aggressive strategies that go beyond the simple SEO techniques. Subscribe to the particular Single Grain blog now with regard to the latest content on SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, PPC, paid social, and the particular future of internet marketing. SEO can furthermore stand for search engine optimizer. Like the rest of the particular digital landscape, SEO marketing is definitely continuously evolving. Search Engine Book — Read information right after Moz's guide to solidify knowing regarding it of the basic elements of SEO. If a person do not have the period or have insufficient training upon web design or SEO, Appear for web design experts plus hire a professional SEO assistance agency to keep your web site Why You Must Experience SEO 2019 At Least Once In Your Lifetime and your good reputation normally you business may depend upon it. I ended with the website number 1, 228, 570, 060. This particular generates SEO anchor text, which usually helps you in improving your own search engine rankings. SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION marketing is focused on the keyword choice that will attract a excellent deal of unique visitors in order to your website. Maybe you have speculate what will be the brand new changes and updates that many of us can experience in SEO one way links sphere in 2019? A Cisco research found that by 2019, eighty percent of all consumer Web traffic will be from Web video traffic. If you might have spent time online recently, you have probably see the term "SEO, inch or "Search Engine Optimization. Let's confirm our knowing of SEO basics with the one question quiz about the particular factors in search rankings: webpages, links and keyphrases. When it comes in order to Google SEO, the rel=canonical hyperlink element has become VERY IMPORTANT over the many years and NEVER MORE SO. To place the particular focus on the website website visitor, it has been suggested that will acronym SEO should indicate research experience optimization. It's important to remember in order to share content from your web site or blog socially to provide it an SEO boost as well. Some Webmasters will spend thousands of dollars to a few so-called professional SEO expert in order to get their Websites on best in the rankings. It is often preferable to ask questions upon their SEO procedures and find out whether they have knowledge associated with keyword density or if these people Blog9T have information about the most recent keyword research strategies and equipment. This combined expertise makes all of us uniquely qualified to present a good ethics-based, search engine-friendly SEO guide to teach you guidelines that will reflect the latest developments looking. They include important subjects like search motor success factors and how SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION relates to social media advertising. In order in order to make web pages appear in high positions in the search outcomes, SEO tries to shape the website according to Google's formula. The major problem of SEO is the truth that there are billions associated with pages in the internet research engine indexes and your placement in the SERPS is reliant on a constantly changing protocol which is not published. All of us wished to look at a large group that included businesses of just about all sizes and in all industrial sectors so we could really notice how SEO traffic increased whenever the only common denominator was incorporating reviews to their site. In reality, this is section of the SEO technique we have used to gradually grow our organic traffic throughout the last 12 months right here at SnapApp: #3. Mobile will certainly account for 72% of ALL OF US digital ad spend by 2019. This workshop is usually designed to help business proprietors implement Digital Marketing techniques intended for their business including social press, organic SEO as well because paid channels. The Beginner's Guide in order to SEO continues to be study over 3 million times plus offers comprehensive information you require to get on the road to professional quality Search Motor Optimization, or SEO. Whether it's using web analytics for carrying out research or even conversion tools that monitor plus report the usage of essential keywords, SEO agencies know just how and where you can obtain the information they need in order to save time furthermore lessen your in-house price. Presently there is probably no more fundamental strategy for SEO than the particular integration of internal links straight into your site - it will be an easy way to increase traffic to individual pages, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Consult says. SEO SERVICES Generally there are a number of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION services which can help enhance the organic search engine search positions of a website.

"SEO" is a term that is usually used to describe the procedure by which visitors a specific site is increasingly generated simply by search engines through search results. These white-hat cellular SEO tips will help a person to avoid internet search motor penalties and maintain better on the web visibility. SEO or research engine optimization techniques will tackle these requirements of a web site. AI and tone of voice search have already begun in order to impact SEO, and as these types of technologies continue to develop, we all can expect to see a lot more changes in the way SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is completed. In the second chapter of our SEO manual, you will learn how research engines work, how people utilize them and what type of research queries they submit. You need in order to provide regular posts either daily or at least several periods a week in order in order to gain a following and supply enough unique SEO content in order to keep your search engine rankings high, attract new viewers plus convince people that you are usually the expert in your industry. Voice lookup will change the way we interact along with search engines and it can make SEO even more aggressive and vital to online achievement. Our SEO outreach team connect your brand and curated content with key on-line influencers to get people speaking about you & sharing your own message. Yet, with the lookup engines like google continually transforming their rules SEO may appear confusing and overwhelming. Understanding what these words really suggest, and how SEO analysts make use of them to boost your home page's search engine results, may become a whole other story. It's maybe not an ideal SEO page title because of the multiple distinct services, however the structure might give rise to rankings for some long-tail keyword phrases. SEOs will have to collaborate carefully with designers and developers in order to prioritize technical SEO and functionality search engine ranking factors to achieve a competitive edge. Further SEO Smart hyperlinks allows you to set upward your personal keywords and set associated with matching URLs. When search engine optimization SEO will not involve ethical practices, the particular website may have low presence on Google and even be taken out from the Google index. An SEO technique is usually considered white hat if this conforms to the search engines' guidelines and involves no deceptiveness. As an SEO, which indicates that you have to considerably raise your standards around high quality content and links in purchase to achieve top search motor rankings. Most SEO focuses on customizing for Google's search engine, which usually dominates the overall search marketplace with a share of more than 90%. 7. Social indicators may even become more essential to SEO as time passes. Solitary Grain is really a electronic marketing agency that helps businesses like Uber, Amazon and Salesforce grow their revenues online making use of SEO plus paid advertising. This can be a growth chance intended for content marketing-specific agencies and the necessary and justified budget series item for in-house SEO groups. SEO includes both technical and creative components needed to improve rankings, drive visitors, and increase awareness in lookup engines. A greater number associated with people will stick to tone of voice search, so SEO specialists will certainly need to adjust to this particular relatively new kind of lookup. Seo or SEO is definitely a powerful method to generate targeted traffic to your web site and hopefully increase your base line. Whilst many marketing tactics rely upon you reaching out to your own audience, SEO gives you the particular power to achieve people whenever they are actively searching out there information related to your providers and products. White colored hat SEOs the actual recommendations of Google and other research engines like google. As Google's search engine outcomes become increasingly monetized and various other platforms such as Amazon plus YouTube gain more SoV plus search volume, I think we are going to overdue for the focus associated with SEO to shift far through Google. Traditional SEO is usually focused on building (keyword relevant) links and (keyword relevant) content material. The main reason could possibly be sometimes misunderstood is because there are a whole Internet underbelly of alleged SEO companies that you may pay to link to your own site on their networks associated with low-quality articles. However, before we obtain to our main event, We must note that after the 2017 edition of SEO styles launched last year on Research Engine Journal, we heard the couple of complaints about simply how long it was. After that your boss tells you you aren't accountable for search engine marketing (SEO), too. Michael jordan Harling, SEO Specialist at Roman Blinds Direct, agrees with the particular consensus that voice search may be the trend in 2019. It helps your SEO initiatives to ensure that your keyword phrases are added to the destinazione description and it will provide you a ranking boost in the event that your specific terms are noticeable in this area. Moreover, a Google Penguin update drastically changed the part of backlinks on SEO, producing it more difficult to obtain link juice to a internet site. Gone are the times of traditional SEO techniques, on the web content is changing. The cognitiveSEO Rank System offers accurate country, language plus city precision for all your own tracked keywords. Even if your URLs normally are not pretty, ” if you may feel as though they're adversely impacting users and your company in general, don't change all of them to be more keyword concentrated for better SEO. ” In case you do need to modify your URL structure, make certain to make use of the proper (301 permanent) type of redirect. In this particular post, we've broken down the particular very best SEO techniques to assist you skyrocket your rankings plus boost your number of regular monthly visitors. An accessible URL is usually an important SEO ranking element. Heidi Cohen: To increase 2018 SEO results, marketers will carry on moving away from disposable, as soon as and done content. They concentrate on SEO Internet marketing targets and provide top search motor rank like Google and Google. Collectively, these developments are plus can continue to have the dramatic impact on the method in which we search optimize our websites in 2019 plus form the core of our own newest SEO 2019 update briefing.

Given that lookup engines have complex algorithms that will power their technology and our marketing needs are unique, we are going to unable to provide specific SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION advice to our customers. We all think SEO in 2019 might find a shift to focusing much more on user intent, problem resolving, and hyper locality in purchase to capitalize on the ongoing rise of voice search. Private demographic information would come in a great deal handier in 2019 as significantly as the ranking of key phrases is concerned. Links are one of the particular most important SEO ranking elements. However, more advanced that will readers will recognize the reduce quality of sites employing dark hat SEO at the cost from the reader experience, which usually will reduce the site's visitors and page rank over period. So - THERE IS SIMPLY NO BEST PRACTICE AMOUNT OF FIGURES any SEO could lay down since exact best practice to GUARANTEE a title may display, in full in Search engines, at least, since the search little title, on every device. While getting as many pages listed in Google was historically the priority for an SEO, Search engines is now rating the high quality of pages in your site plus the type of pages this really is indexing. Jerrika Scott, Digital Marketing Specialist in Archway Cards Ltd, also feels in voice being the pattern of 2019 rather than 2018. Today, regardless of all the hype about whether or not SEO is dead, we discover that organic search is nevertheless one of the highest RETURN ON INVESTMENT digital marketing channels.

We cover every topic inside the digital marketing sphere which includes SEO, technical SEO, local SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION, PPC, SEM, content marketing, CRO, analytics, backlink, marketing strategy, mobile phone marketing, social media marketing and even much more. Any SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION company has to be capable to create high quality content material on an ongoing basis. SEO is the treatment for making changes to the website to be able in order to improve its position in the particular search engines like google. Robert thinks that by 2019 most cellular searches will be conducted simply by voice by mobile devices or even virtual assistants in fact this is very important to obtain your positioning in the lookup engine ranking positions as quickly as possible. As the particular factors search engines like Search engines, Bing, and Yahoo use in order to rank sites are kept top secret and change frequently, we develop all known SEO best procedures into every Squarespace site. Black hat SEO may get you to the best of SERP in a brief time, however, search engines such as google will most probably punish and ban the website more rapidly or later. If you have read from the beginning, a person know that links are the key SEO ranking factor. Generally there are 2 types of lookup engine optimization or SEO. Now, pay shut attention to the components of which make up on-page SEO, while this is where non-SEO authorities will be able to help make the most meaningful impact in their search engine rankings. forty five. Use Google Analytics to calculate social SEO factors like the particular number of owned and optimistic results. The common SEO issue for e-commerce sites is that product evaluation functionality tends to rely upon AJAX, iframes, or subdomains, which usually make it very hard, or even even impossible, for search motors to fit product reviews with item pages. Local SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is an effective way in order to market your business online. With regard to more on Squarespace's SEO-friendly features plus how to use them, go to Increasing your site's visibility in order to search engines. For Ecommerce websites, SEO agencies can see which usually paths users take in purchase to complete a sale, just about all the way down to which usually keyword they used to research for you prior to buying. Continue to increase your SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION to create business and drive traffic plus rank for more terms. SEO refers in order to the process of gaining a good impressive rank in search motor listings. Organic SEO will be also less costly long-term while you establish search credibility, as very long as you maintain it along with the consistent creation of high quality content and social media use. Within the 6th section of our SEO for newcomers guide, we will discuss hyperlink building - one of the particular most important aspects of research engine optimization. Search engine optimization can furthermore be known as SEO plus it is defined as the technique or procedure for enhancing the website within an efficient and efficient way in purchase to make a good existence on major search engines.

For blog websites the greatest SEO practice would be in order to set the title of your own post in a heading1 label. Search engines is the gatekeeper to huge amounts of traffic and prospects - search engine optimization (SEO) opens the doors. Simply because long as they are gained naturally, inbound links are possibly the most dependable authority contractors in the world of SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION. All of us call this new methodology AdaptiveSEO so that as its title suggests, it is made in order to adapt to the evolving plus sometimes unexpected changes in research algorithms. A lot of get confused in this region of SEO article writing recommendations for either they in place too little or maybe the particular wrong kind of keywords, or even they mention the keyword method too much which is occasionally called keyword over stuffing. Social SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION isn't a separate branch associated with SEO and it won't quickly be replacing traditional SEO, yet social signals are becoming progressively incorporated into search engine methods. Perhaps the particular most important aspect of research engine optimization is how a person can actually leverage SEO in order to assist drive more relevant visitors, leads, and sales for your own business. Just browse through the various types of our SEO blog page to find those important on-page ranking factors. According to him, key phrases have already lost their significance and in 2019 this pattern would only get stronger. Seo (SEO) will be the most efficient way in order to drive traffic to your site. Google My Business is Google's business directory and, thus, extra vital that you your local SEO Shown businesses using the best SEO will certainly appear in the Local 3-Pack, the batch of 3 presented businesses nearest you that look when you do a related local search. Stir up Visibility recently released SEO: The particular Movie ”. This 40-minute movie covers a brief history associated with search engine optimization portrayed via the experiences of some associated with the biggest names within the particular SEO industry. In addition to producing content offered to search engines, SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION also helps boost rankings therefore that content will be positioned where searchers will more easily still find it. The Internet is getting increasingly competitive, and people companies which perform SEO may have the decided advantage in visitors plus customers. Unfortunately, SEO - and research in general - is usually soloed into focusing on The particular Google” and not really regarded as for other tactics. This means website owners plus SEO experts will need in order to be on top of their own game when it comes in order to keyword research and keeping the particular context of their site related to users. Varvy's SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION Overview tool audits your internet site for key parameters like domain name strength, links, image SEO, interpersonal counts, on-page SEO, technical position, page speed, loading time plus more. Typically the trouble is that SEO rank factors have changed a good deal over the years (find away how in our keyword analysis guide ). That means this search engine optimization techniques the fact that worked 5 in years past won't soar today. UnGagged Greater london is really a 2-day SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION & Digital Marketing conference that will takes place June 11-12th, along with one-day intensive masterclasses on Summer 13th. These ‘quality updates' are very reminiscent of Search engines Panda updates and often effect many websites at the exact same time - and often these types of concentrate on demoting similar ‘low-quality' SEO techniques we have already been told Panda focuses on. I think savvy SEOs are going to utilize AI content generation (text and pictures especially) in 2019 to make a whole new kind associated with search algorithm gaming, that might almost be viewed as dark hat. This course covers how in order to build strong links for much better SEO. SEO companies ensure that will your site has all associated with the SEO Internet marketing like as business improvement, localized item sales, high quality online era and the rest. 2018 brought many modifications to the world of SEARCH ENGINE MARKETING, including a few new criteria evolutions through Google. An expert Seo agency may help any dimensions of company take full advantage of web marketing and raise the likelihood associated with actual sales while simultaneously enhance brand awareness one of the particular potential audience segment. Recently we were speaking about the subject with the friendly agency in Valencia plus we directed to this entrance of Search Engine Journal along with the 20 questions that ought to be done to any SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION or SEO agency that desires to hire. If you work in lookup marketing, you'll know that SMX is one of the greatest search engine marketing conferences associated with the year, covering topics which includes SEO and PPC. SEO is conducted each on-site and off-site via various resources that are the existence of your web identity associated with different social media platform plus prominent display of your home page's link on other well-reputed sites. Our unique data science-driven SEO & content marketing platform can help your eCommerce business reveal millions of dollars' worth of earlier untapped organic search marketing possibilities. On the other hands, if the website doesn't make use of any digital marketing strategies or even SEO services, no one troubles to search for pages plus pages on Google just in order to find your website and go to it. Some dentists, who have got tried applying SEO, have not really been very successful in moving their website to the best of Google search engine. Just before we do, let's check out there a couple essential areas regarding SEO: social media and cellular. SEO can price between $100 and $500 for each month if you do this yourself with a keyword analysis tool. This SEO manual explains acquiring links from exterior domains. Let's review the basic principles of SEO (search engine optimization). SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION is conducted on the knowning that webpages rank because associated with how relevant a webpage is definitely to a search query plus how many links point in order to that webpage. Business professionals try to rely on these SEO techniques regarding optimization wishing for a larger profit.