#And that always made me kinda sad so I've been trying to Talk and stuff and hope and hope that he knows I care

[whenastrofell]

I love my stupid little brother a lot

[alllgator-blood]

'FOGGY STREETS AND CHRISTMAS LIGHTS'

(part 3/3)

I'm gonna infodump about the backstory of this comic, don't feel obligated to read it because it's not cotl related it's just personal stuff, I just want to be able to write about it somewhere cause I can't really talk to anyone about it.

As always, thanks for reading this far, sorry my stuff has been such a bummer so consistently. This comic goes out to all my "christmas induced depression" homies, I left my house maybe like ~5 times all month and it was NOT pleasant hearing "IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!!" on the radio when I'm so ready for it to be over. Gonna take it reaaaaal easy til the year ends, you guys take it easy too!! Got some asks I have to respond to when I'm more stable but probably no new comic pages til january

Alright uhhh so this part of the comic is pretty much taken directly from the last time I saw my great-grandma alive, a few days before christmas. She didn't remember me, but at the nursing home there was a piano, and I sat down and played some stuff because I didn't know what to say. I was really into lisa the painful rpg at the time, and I played that "I've got the joy" song that the villain sings without realizing it was an old christian campfire song. She didn't really say much or move that whole night, just kind of gave me a polite blank smile, but started singing the words when I played the notes to that song.

I kinda stopped in shock, my dad frantically asked me to keep playing, so I did. While the comic I made is way more sappy than the actual moment was, I wish I'd cherished the moment longer. I didn't know it was the last time I'd see her alive. Every family christmas was held at her house when she was around, so it's been weird the past few years. I actually lost another dementia-addled grandma to cancer on christmas eve in 2009, so the holiday was already kind of weird for me on top of everything else that makes me sad this time of year. That's what part 2 was about, I'll spare the details but I wrote leshy to act out how I felt back then. Why are we all sad? This is supposed to be a happy time, all the decorations are up and we're almost all here, so why is everyone smiling yet everything feels so wrong? I feel like since leshy's canonically the most ignorant one to things lurking below the surface, he'd be the one to try and make everyone feel better but not quite understand why everyone is so miserable. My first memory of having self injurious behavior came from then, hence why I had leshy pull his leaves off in the last comic. It was confusing and frustrating and I was just old enough to comprehend something was wrong, but not old enough to understand the depth of it, it DEFINITELY didn't help that nobody helped me back then so I made leshy's siblings actually come in clutch instead of grabbing him/yelling at him.

That night with the piano was something that's stuck with me the few years she's been gone, but I felt kind of strange when I asked my dad and my sister about it and neither of them remembered it. The room we were in was completely empty so nobody else witnessed it but us three. I myself have a history of head trauma and memory loss (plus, native americans are disproportionately more likely to develop dementia... lucky us) so if I ever forgot about that moment, there'd be nobody left to remember it. Sometimes when I do comics, it's my way of going "this happened at some point, and the only evidence it ever happened was me witnessing it, so if something happens to me I want the memory to stay alive in some form."

Anyway. The autistic urge to overshare, am I right? Idk what my religious ass great-grandma would think of me drawing demonic comics about my last memory of her, she'd probably think it's funny though cause she raised my dad whose interests have always been "death metal and devil worship". I'm not sure if anyone read this far, I just hope my dumb comics can convey the things I can't say with my voice and struggle to say through text. None of this was supposed to be "feel bad for me!! Woe is me!!", it was supposed to me more like...cathartic? Healing? I almost didn't post this comic because it felt kinda weird, but seeing people connect with it made it worth it imo. Thank you

[twstowo]

Oyo, um I read one of your fics and it was rlly good. I'm pretty sure it was one of the 'they end up another universe twst' fics. They're rlly juicy BTW

I was thinking like...what happened if otherverse bois met normalverse yuu and they actually start liking them? Sorta yandere-ish type stuff to the point where they don't wanna leave normalverse yuu? (Yes, I've been calling normal yuu 'normalverse' yuu bc it makes a bit of sense lmao)

Understandable if you're a bit uncomfy with this :)

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

♡︎This is quite an interesting idea! I had though about it once but since you asked now I'm really going to write it! Also I'm not the best with yandere themes so I hope this is good enough!

♡︎Includes: OB! Characters

♡︎Warning: Malleus's part made me kinda sad, IM SO SORRY MALLEUS LOVERS. Also all of them need therapy.

[AU Masterlist]

NV - Normalverse (Thank you for the idea Anon!)

First things first, in general, I believe that they would understand that you aren’t the same person from their Universe, however, this wouldn’t excuse the fact that every time they see your face they are thrown back to your relationship back in their world, which to say the least is not the best.

⋆⋅☆Riddle

There would be no doubt that he would dislike you intensely. Moreover, the fact that this Riddle would be even worse than the pre-overblot Riddle in the NV would put you in a difficult position.

The first time he spots you, he would be blinded by rage and probably try to behead you. Fortunately, Trey and Cater quickly save you, taking you as far away as possible from Tyrant Riddle.

He will do anything to find you, and he will have no tolerance for your actions. At the slightest inconvenience you cause, he will be right behind you, ready to tell you how much of an annoyance you are.

But you catch on to his game pretty quickly, so you counter him by being the very definition of perfection. You make sure not to break a single rule and set an example for everyone around you, and by the Sevens, that only makes him even angrier.

But is he really angry? He can’t deny that he feels slightly impressed. Among everyone else at this strange college, you are the only one who comes close to reaching the level of perfection he demands.

Slowly, he finds himself growing fonder of you. He starts thinking about bringing you back with him once he finds a way to return to his universe. You’d fit perfectly in the castle with him, and he’s certain his mother would have approved of you.

⋆⋅☆Leona

When it comes to Leona, he is more annoyed with the NV version of you than anything else. After all, you were always pestering him about being lazy and irresponsible. He had been plotting to have you exiled once he took the throne by killing his brother.

So, the first time he spots you, he's ready to turn around and leave, not wanting to hear your nagging. But that doesn’t happen. You speak to him as if he were a normal person, with no harsh words, and even smile at him when you finish talking.

Is he seeing things? Why are you so different in this universe? And why is he enjoying this new kind of attention so much?

Yet, he remains rude, constantly sending glares your way. He firmly believes you're trying to trick him into something malicious.

Still, you bring him lunch and talk about your day. You are strangely kind, something he never thought he would experience, especially from you. You are the first person ever to treat him like this.

Slowly, something starts to shift inside him. Your attention becomes something he craves, and he starts becoming obsessed, to the point where he checks if you give the same treatment to others.

And if you do, he makes sure they are out of the picture the next time you look for them. He will ensure that you have only him to turn to, to talk about your day, and to give your full attention.

⋆⋅☆Azul

OH NO! He’s had enough of your antics ruining his business! Azul puts up a sign with your face and a red cross over it in front of the Monster Lounge. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN!

Floyd and Jade find this absolutely hilarious and watch as you stroll into the Monster Lounge without a care in the world. (You’re literally that meme: "This sign won’t stop me, because I can’t read.") They don’t even try to stop you, they’re far too entertained by the thought of seeing how this new Azul will react to the chaos.

Let’s just say that Azul quickly learns the hard way that you aren’t here to ruin his business. Instead, you seem determined to ruin his reputation by being overly affectionate and making him squirm with your sweet words in front of all his clients, no less.

He tries to distance himself, avoiding your gaze and setting boundaries, but you keep coming back. In that, you remind him of the version of you from his own universe.

And for some reason, he finds that persistence very attractive. He can’t deny that, before you decided to ruin his business, he used to have a slight crush on you back then.

But now, you aren’t trying to ruin his business. Quite the contrary, you’re a magnet for attention, constantly drawing more customers to the Mostro Lounge.

Slowly, Azul starts losing himself in this fantasy: you and him, together, expanding his business. But at a certain point, he realizes he’s thinking more about you than the money the two of you could make.

He becomes determined to keep you by his side, even if his business suffers because of it. If all it takes to have you is tarnishing a bit of his reputation, then he’s willing to do it.

⋆⋅☆Jamil

By the Seven, he was already annoyed that Kalim was here, but you too? This was about to be the worst day of his life, two incredibly annoying people threatening to ruin his plans.

He keeps his distance, but when you spot him, he’s about to tell you to go find someone else to bother. Then, you say something completely unexpected: you’re actually annoyed by Kalim’s antics.

You? Annoyed? At Kalim?

He’s taken aback. In his universe, you and Kalim were inseparable friends, always together. But the you from this place is actually bothered by him? He doesn’t even need to know why you’re annoyed. Just the fact that someone finally agrees with him about Kalim makes him incredibly happy.

He enjoys it when you come to him with your frustrations. Whether you’re irritated by Kalim’s constant gifts or his endless parties in your honor, because you feel overwhelmed, Jamil is always there to listen. He savors your complaints, and he’s quick to add his own criticisms about Kalim, which only deepens your dislike for him.

As time goes on, you start finding comfort in Jamil’s presence. His understanding and validation make him seem like a refuge from the chaos that Kalim brings. You begin to rely on him more, and Jamil can’t help but enjoy how your dislike for Kalim boosts his own ego.

Jamil starts subtly shaping your view of Kalim. By reinforcing your negative feelings and positioning himself as your only true ally, he ensures that you depend on him more. He carefully creates situations where he appears better compared to Kalim, making himself seem like the perfect match for you.

Jamil feeds off your growing dislike for Kalim. Your negative feelings towards Kalim seem to boost his ego, and he finds himself loving your voice even more.

You deserve someone who truly understands you, and Jamil believes he’s that person. He’s confident that he’d be the perfect match for you.

⋆⋅☆Vil

There you are, Neige’s number one fan. He doesn’t even look in your direction, you aren’t worth it. Shouldn’t you be with him, guarding him like the lapdog you are?

Vil has to admit that at least you seem more elegant here. You look more relaxed and gentle, but maybe you were always like that back then. Perhaps he was just too focused on Neige to notice you.

Or maybe this version of you from this universe is simply sweeter and kinder. Perhaps here, you don’t make Neige your whole identity and actually treat Vil like a person rather than just competition for Neige.

Vil is intrigued, he finds you interesting, even. There’s a charm to you that brings him comfort. When he learns that you’re not that close to Neige here, he finds himself feeling pleased. And when you tell him that you find him “oh so much more beautiful,” he realizes that you might not be so bad after all.

Then he becomes attentive to your habits, your likes and dislikes, he memorizes every time you express any small detail about yourself only to use these as a way to create more opportunities to be closer to you. He brings up things you’ve mentioned in passing, showing how attentive he is to your likes and dislikes. His compliments become more personal, always tied to something he knows you value.

He loves especially when you talk so sweetly about him, or when he overhears you telling others how beautiful you think he is.

So whenever you mention Neige in a good way he becomes jealous, you should be exclusively devoted to him, he should be the only thing that crosses your mind and he was to make sure you only see him as your number one option.

He’s determined to make you see him as your everything, and he’ll stop at nothing to ensure that you’re his, completely and utterly.

⋆⋅☆Idia

(In here both Idia and Ortho from the AU get sent to the NV.)

Ah yes, the ruiner of fun, you.

Back in his world, he used to send his followers to pester you, hoping you'd leave him alone. But no matter what, you always managed to bounce back and ruin his mischievous plans. What was with you, always messing with the fun? If a person or two died, who would even care?

But this version of you seems so much more into the chaos. He watches as you join in Ace's dumb ideas or get excited when Ortho prepares to blast off half the school.

You actually seem like someone who would join in his schemes now, and he'd love to have some help.

Howver the idea of you laughing, scheming, or enjoying yourself with anyone else starts to eat away at him. He starts sabotaging your interactions with others, asking for Ortho’s help to keep Ace busy with other things, making sure you spend more time with him.

He starts sending Ortho on missions to monitor your every move, always keeping tabs on who you’re with and what you’re doing. If anyone tries to get too close to you, they mysteriously vanish from the scene, often without you even noticing.

Everything feels so perfect when the two of you are together, you don’t need anyone else just like he doesn’t need anyone else.

⋆⋅☆Malleus

Poor Malleus had been treated badly by his crush back in his universe. You never answered the letters he sent, and he had heard that all the little trinkets and flowers were returned because you didn’t want any of them.

So when this version of you from this strange new place treats him with such devotion, such kindness, and accepts his small gifts, even inviting him to spend time with you, he can hardly believe what’s happening.

This was essentially a dream come true for him. He wonders if it had been you he sent all those letters to, whether you would have written him back with the same excitement.

Why, then, hadn’t this lovely and perfect version of you been the one in his universe? Why was he the one left unloved in his world?

He wants to take you with him. Surely, you love him, you wouldn’t be angry if he took you back to his castle. The two of you could finally do all the things he had dreamed about while gazing lovingly at the flowers he once sent you.

After all, why else would you shower him with such kindness? Why else would you invite him to spend time with you? You must love him too.

[joeys-babe]

Joey B Imagines: I’m On Fire*

————————————————————————-

Summary: When Joe mistakenly leaves his JB9 iced-out chain while at an away game, you bless him with a little photoshoot while you're hours away in Cincinnati.

Warnings: Smut

Paring: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Just the Two of Us

————————————————————————-

*No specific date for this fic!*

(y/n’s pov)

Joe had just left the house for an away game, and due to some work-related stuff, I wasn't able to go with him.

The pouty expression he gave me when we were standing at the front door just a little bit ago made me want to climb into his bag. His lower lip sticking out was oddly convincing, along with his blue eyes.

“Joe, you know I can't go, baby.” - you

“Please… I want you to go with me.” - Joe whined

“I wish I could go too, but I can't, J.” - you

Joe whined once again, but this time, it made me roll my eyes. My annoyance didn't last long, though, as he hunched over and laid his head on my shoulder.

“I love you.” - Joe mumbled

His face being pressed into my neck made his words muffled, but it was oddly adorable.

“I love you too, but if you don't leave now, you're going to be late.” - you

I laughed when he stood up straight and groaned.

“I'm gonna be so lonely by myself in my hotel room tonight.” - Joe

“We can Facetime, goofball.” - you

“Not the same.” - Joe whined

“Okay, enough whining. Goodbye, Joe.” - you

Joe stared at me for a few seconds, trying to come up with a response that didn't show how annoyed he really was.

“Bye…” - Joe mumbled

I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Joe’s lips. When I pulled away, I giggled at the look of his flushed cheeks.

“Love you, sheisty.” - you

“Love you too.” - Joe grinned

——

Hours later, I was bored out of my mind, all alone in this big house.

I had cleaned almost the entire house, scrolled through Pinterest, made a dinner recipe I had pinned, and finished a show I had been binging - Fool Me Once.

There was pretty much nothing to do.

All I was doing right now was lying in bed, watching the ceiling fan turn, and feeling kinda sad when I got a whiff of Joe’s scent off of his pillow.

I missed him, and I saw him just hours ago.

That's what happens when your boyfriend turns into your best friend, I guess.

Joe’s game wasn't till tomorrow, but they'd probably just landed at their destination.

Maybe I should text him?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I made up my mind and texted Joe.

hiiii

Ew, no. Sounds desperate.

What am I even talking about? I've been with this man for six years.

I had almost deleted my message, but Joe answered before I could.

HIIII! 😁

He's such a dork, I thought to myself with a giggle.

Wyd?

Nothinggg, hbu??

Do I tell the truth or make a lie to seem productive? In the end, I told the truth.

Missing you.

My heart warmed at Joe’s message back.

I miss you too. ☹️

Are you at your hotel yet?

It took Joe a few minutes to answer, but his reasoning was ironic.

Just got back from checking in actually. Imma head up to my room, take a shower, and then ft you.

Okay, I'll talk to you then! 🫶

Talk to ya then, I LOVE YOU! 🥰

I hearted his message and than sent the sentiment back.

Love you more, baby. 😘

The conversation ended after Joe’s simple but butterfly-inducing text.

Not fuckin’ possible.

——

We were on Facetime for way longer than we should have, but neither of us cared.

The call ended with the usual “I love you more” back-and-forth playful argument.

Joe won in the end, and I can't say I’m surprised because he always did.

After the call ended, I was just lying in bed, my head on Joe’s pillow, just to smell his scent.

I got bored eventually and decided to play around in the closet. Joe always forbade me from trying on his chains, but he wasn't here.

My eyes immediately widened with excitement as I opened the top drawer on Joe’s side of our walk-in closet.

Everything was cleared out except one chain, he probably took them all with him to have options for his fit tomorrow.

“Damn, this is heavy.” - you mumbled

It was the JB9 Nike check chain Joe wore for the AFC Championship in 2022.

One of my personal favorites out of his collection but too iconic to be worn again.

God, he looked so hot that day.

I stared at myself in the mirror, the chain of my boyfriend’s initials and number adorning my neck.

That's when I got the idea.

——

Settling into my bed for the night, I grabbed my phone and giggled to myself as I looked through the pictures recently taken in my camera roll.

Nothing but black lace and that iced-out chain.

——

Next Day

Joe won his game, and sure, I was happy to see him win, but being miles away from him and unable to celebrate with him put a damper on my mood.

I watched the game by myself in the living room, and then proudly watched his post-game conference.

Just a minute after Joe left the media room, I received a text from him.

Did you watch the game?

Of course. Watched your conference too, baby.

Joe didn’t answer for a few minutes, and I thought he might've gone to take his postgame shower, but his text back made me laugh.

I just got made fun of because I was blushing from your text. “You texting yo girl?”

What did you say back? 😂

I proudly said yes. 😁

A few seconds passed before another text vibrated my phone.

Hey, I gotta go shower, though. We're set to get home late tonight, so don't wait up on me.

What if I want to?

You'll wake up with me next to you in the morning either way, so no need to wait for me to get back.

He was right, so I left him alone to go shower.

——

It was around ten o'clock, and Joe had texted me just a little bit ago, saying they were on the bus to the airport.

Out of nowhere, with no context or caption with it, I sent Joe my little experiment earlier.

Attachment: 10 images

When I was left alone with Joe’s chain earlier, I took a little photo shoot with some black lace lingerie and Joe’s chain.

He'd usually take a power nap on his way to the plane, so I was surprised when his response was quick.

Joe sent a picture of himself with his eyes wide and mouth dropped open in shock.

The silly reaction picture made me giggle, but I had no idea that Joe had just pulled his bag onto his lap while on the bus in an attempt to hide the stirring between his legs.

Fucking shit, y/n. I'm getting so hard right now that I might have to rub one out on the plane.

No. 😘

Wdym, no?

How do I word this?

You always get pissed when I get off without you, how about a taste of your own medicine?

I don't get pissed…

Joe, honey.

Please, baby.

No.

Joe sighed and put his phone on his chest, discreetly slipping his hand down his sweatpants to rearrange the erection in his boxers. He's so hard just from the sight of nothing but lingerie and his initials in the form of diamonds on your body.

He so wished he was with you, inside you.

——

When Joe got home, it was really late.

You were already sleeping, so when Joe slipped into the bedroom he made sure to be quiet.

Joe stood there for a few seconds, just admiring how peaceful you looked while sleeping.

A small smile found its way onto his face when he noticed you were wearing his t-shirt and snuggled onto his pillow instead of yours.

After staring for a lot longer than he anticipated, Joe put his bag down and took his sweatshirt off before crawling into bed beside you.

You stirred for a bit, feeling the presence of someone else near you. After moving around for a bit, you were met with a hard chest, but you knew it all too well.

Joe grinned to himself when you snuggled into him, your face against his pec. He ran his fingers through your hair, and soon, you were peacefully sleeping again.

Feeling tired but unable to sleep, Joe discreetly grabbed his phone to see the messages he wasn't able to answer on the plane and his drive home.

You sent him a video?

Joe made sure his volume was down before pressing play on the video. His eyes went wide when he was met with the sight of you fingering yourself.

All at once, Joe’s heart rate picked up, he started sweating, and his cock stirred in his sweatpants.

He didn't need volume to know you were moaning his name with each thrust of your fingers. Joe was able to read your lips.

The sight of your head thrown back, bare chest, and your sweet heat swallowing your fingers had Joe fully erect in a matter of a minute.

He needed you badly.

Joe can admit he was thinking with his dick and not his brain when he shook you awake. In his defense, most of his blood supply was in the wrong head.

“Joey?” - you mumbled

“Shit- sorry I woke you up…” - Joe

“I missed you…” - you

His heart fluttered, and he hoped you wouldn't shift around and feel him. Please just go back to sleep.

In all honesty, Joe felt guilty waking you up with his sexual needs in mind. He felt horrible and selfish.

“Missed you too, baby.” - Joe

You moved around and Joe’s eyes went wide. Please don't feel it. Please don't feel it.

Abruptly, you paused your shifting and looked up at Joe’s face. Maybe she just found a comfortable spot?

It was hard to make out Joe’s features in the dark, but you could see his piercing blue eyes easily.

Unbeknownst to Joe, you'd felt his hard-on as soon as he got it, but you wanted to mess with him, make him beg for it.

Slowly, you reached your hand out and palmed his bulge. Joe bit his lower lip to stop an audible reaction as you started rubbing him.

“He missed me too, huh?” - you giggle

“Fuck- so much.” - Joe

“Take your pants off, Joe.” - You

Joe shed his pants and boxers off faster than the speed of light, all because his girl asked.

Now that he was completely free from restraint, Joe got even harder, and he didn't think that was possible.

You spit into your hand and firmly grasped his cock, a plan forming in your mind as you started to jerk him off.

Joe was a groaning mess, relishing in the feel of your hand around his length because he'd needed this for days.

Precum was beading at Joe’s tip, so you maneuvered yourself around to take him into your mouth.

“Sh-it.” - Joe moaned

He was close, so close.

“Baby- I'm gonna… cum!” - Joe

You pulled off of him, trying to follow your plan of edging him until he couldn't help but beg for you to finish him off, but Joe was too close to stop his inevitable orgasm.

With a loud moan, Joe shot his load onto your face, some making it into your mouth.

Both of you were surprised when it happened, looking at each other with wide eyes.

“I- I'm sorry…” - Joe

“No, don't be.” - you

You reached out and put a hand on his chest, rubbing comforting circles on it.

He grabbed a tissue off of his nightstand and wiped his cum off of your face.

“That was kinda embarrassing…” - Joe

“Why?” - you

Your voice was soft, a little sad yourself that Joe felt embarrassed.

“I don't know, I couldn't stop it from happening, but it happened so fast. Like under three minutes? That's embarrassing.” - Joe

“Joe, don't be embarrassed. How long you last doesn't matter to me at all, I just wanna make you feel good.” - you

He nodded but bit the insides of his cheeks.

“I think it's kinda hot that I can get you off that fast. Makes me feel good about myself.” - you

“Really? You don't think it's funny or embarrassing?” - Joe

“No, baby.” - you

You leaned up and pressed a big kiss to Joe’s lips, one of his legs slotting between yours, causing you to grind down onto his thigh.

“Mmm, Joey baby.” - you moaned

“That's it.” - Joe

——

Next Morning

You woke up with a grin on your face as you replayed last night's events in your mind.

Joe had gotten you off twice with his fingers and tongue before he filled you up with his thick cock.

In the back of his mind, he was still feeling a little self-conscious about his first orgasm of the night, but he wouldn't let it show.

When you two were in the shower cleaning up, you could tell something was on Joe’s mind and that something was what had happened earlier.

Without saying anything, you dropped to your knees when his back was to you. He turned around and looked down at you, his dick stirring to life at the all-too-familiar position.

Despite the fact you two had just gone four rounds, Joe’s craving for you was never-ending.

You'd slowly reached out to stroke him, and you finished him off with your mouth.

He manhandled you back to your feet before pressing you against the shower wall.

“If you want me to stop, I will, but you started this.” - Joe

The feel of his thick length against your behind, and his hands holding you in place was getting you worked up all over again.

“Fuck me, Joey.” - you

You two ended the night giggling in bed as you counted up the number of orgasms shared between you two that night.

“Four for me, four for you, gah-lee!” - Joe

“I’m not gonna be able to walk tomorrow morning.” - you

“Fuck I might even have a limp.” - Joe

You were pulled out of your fantasies when Joe walked into the bedroom. Toes curled at the sweet sight of him.

Joe wore nothing but a bashful smile, a pair of sweatpants, and raging bedhead.

“Hi.” - you smiled

“Hi. How'd you sleep?” - Joe

“Good. Get in bed with me?” - you

He did as you asked and curled up in bed beside you, pulling you into his chest in the process.

“Where were you?” - you

“Uh… nowhere…” - Joe

You sat up and looked at him, giving him a skeptical look as you narrowed your eyes at him.

Joe sighed and broke your eye contact.

“I was doing something downstairs. It was supposed to be a surprise after you got ready, but you can come downstairs now.” - Joe

You excitedly jumped out of Joe’s arms and ran out of the bedroom, your hand grabbing his as he followed you.

When you two got downstairs, you saw the dining table set up like a date. Breakfast on both of the plates and a bouquet of roses between them.

Joe walked away from you for a second and grabbed a rose.

He walked back up to you and held the flower in front of his bare chest.

“Go on a date with me?” - Joe

You grinned at your boyfriend so big that your cheeks hurt.

“Of course.” - you

Joe handed the single rose to you, and you stood up on your tiptoes to place a kiss on his smooth cheek.

“Thank god, woulda been really awkward if you said no.” - Joe

“I'd never say no to you.” - you laughed

The blush on his cheeks went deep, almost to the shade of the rose he gave you.

You spent the rest of the morning laughing with the handsome man you loved so deeply, wondering about how you got so lucky, and thinking about your future with him.

You were so grateful to have a man you could laugh with, share secrets with, tell all the drama to, and have intense intimate moments with. Sometimes, all within the same day or hour.

It was scary to realize how much of yourself you put in Joe’s hands, but you trusted him more than anything.

The sweet thoughts and realizations were swirling in your mind and making you smile. You'd been staring out of the window, but your thoughts were abruptly interrupted…

*BURP*

Your wide eyes snapped over to Joe, who was holding a hand over his mouth and shared the same wide-eyed look.

“Sorry, didn't expect it to be that loud.” - Joe laughed

“Gosh, I love you.” - you laughed along with him

————————————————————————-

Authors note: GOT IT OUT BEFORE MONDAY! 😆

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! ❤️❤️

[judeswhore]

breaking up with jude and having to take all his things back to him

omg wait i actually wrote something abt this for a fic i was gna write and then scrapped so u can have it here, it’s not the best but

"y'know you could've just asked me to drop these off for you. then you wouldn't have to see him." katie riffled around in the bottom of her bag in search for something, her tone light despite her words and she only glanced at you briefly while waiting for a reply. tearing your gaze from the house across the road you shook your head, wiped your sweaty palms across the material of your trousers.

"i want to see him."

"you want to see him?"

"yeah. no. i don't know, kinda? i don't want him to think i've taken the break up badly."

him being jude. after almost three years of dating he'd brought the relationship to an end, a decision he promised you he hadn't made lightly. for you it was out of the blue, you hadn't been fighting and there'd been no signs, sure you hadn't seen each other much with uni and his career but that was something you'd grown used to. for him it had been building. he said he couldn't handle the distance anymore, that it was getting too much to love someone who was never around. you got it, sort of, but that didn't make it hurt less. this conversation had happened two weeks ago, you'd only just found the motivation to peel yourself out of bed to return a bunch of his things.

from across the car, katie threw you skeptical look.

"you've cried every day since and consumed like half of england's ice cream supply. you have taken it badly." you huffed and leaned into the back seat to grab the box, careful not to let anything tumble out when you pulled it into your lap.

"he doesn't need to know that." you best friends mouth opened, a disapproving retort on her tongue but you beat her to it, pushing the car door open. "i'm okay now. i want to do this in person." you stumbled out with the box, turning to close the door behind you but katie had leant across, her face soft, eyes just a little sad.

"hey, he doesn't deserve you, remember? this was his loss."

at his front door you simply stared for a few moments, unable to lift to your hand and knock. returning the things he'd left at your place made the break up seem much more real, like giving him his hoodies back meant it was a done deal. you were handing over a piece of your heart with the box of his belongings, because no matter what, that would always belong to him too. a dog barked a few houses down and forced you into action, your fist coming down three times on the white door.

there was a few seconds of silence, the click of the lock and then the door swung open, revealing a freshly showered jude. the first glimpse of him in two weeks tugged at your chest, made your tummy dip and it was difficult pushing back the overwhelming urge to press against him. your body told you to kiss him, habits didn't die easily, your mind trying to catch up with the slight difference in his appearance. he'd grown his beard a little longer and his hair hadn't been cut in the time you'd been apart. his bottom lip was cut.

"hi." his voice cracked and he made a face, sent you a half sheepish smile before clearing his throat. "hey."

"i brought your stuff." straight to it. you weren't sure you could stand here and exchange small talk with him without breaking down. there was the smallest bit of comfort in the fact that he looked as bad as you felt. there were dark circles under his eyes, he obviously hadn't been sleeping, and the grey joggers he was wearing had a multitude of different stains down them. something tugged again at your chest and you swallowed thickly, thrust the box not so gracefully towards him. "i think i packed everything, i can- if i forgot anything i'll get katie to drop it off."

like you should have gotten katie to do today because looking at him hurt so much you felt like your heart was breaking all over again. the air around you was tense and awkward, jude kept shuffling from one foot to the other and you couldn't stop your palms from sweating. it was strange how someone who used to make you feel so safe and loved suddenly made you want to disappear inside yourself. jude took the box with careful hands, palms flat against the bottom to avoid brushing your fingers. the second he had hold of it you tucked your hands into the pocket of your hoodie. you didn't want him to see them shaking.

"you didn't have to drop them off, i could've come by." he could have but you knew deep down he wouldn't have. something told you he would've avoided you at all costs until he went back to germany. "but thanks. d'you wanna come in?" your gaze snapped up to his from where you'd previously been focused on his shoulder. "to get your things. i packed them up when you text earlier."

"oh. yeah, sure." you nodded and followed him into the familiar living room, the pain in your chest doubling when the scent of his aftershave washed over you. there was a box of your things on his sofa, your clothes and make up, small things you'd left behind, things you never thought you'd have to take back. placed at the very top of the box was one of jude's england shirts, one of the first ones he'd warn for the senior team, the one you always wore around his house. nausea rolled over you at the fact he was giving you it.

"i don't need that." jude followed your gaze and you watched his throat bob on a swallow as he dropped his own box down beside yours. his fingers brushed the material.

"it's basically yours, it doesn't fit me anymore so i don't need to keep it. i thought you'd want it." you only shook your head, you couldn't wear that shirt knowing that it was connected to a part of your life that didn't exist anymore. jude always made comments about how he liked seeing his girl in his shirt, he'd always pull you close and smother you in kisses and tell you how pretty you looked. you couldn't wear the shirt knowing you weren't his girl anymore, knowing one day someone else would wear that shirt. that he'd find another girl. you tried to talk around the lump that had settled in your throat.

"i don't want it, jude."

"right. no, of course not." again he cleared his throat and you needed to leave, needed air before the tears started and you collapsed in his living room. jude took the shirt and held it between both hands. for a few moments you were both quiet, watching each other, unsure what to say and before you could blurt something you'd regret, you reached for the box.

"i should-"

"i am sorry, y'know. i didn't- i never wanted to hurt you."

"but you did."

"i know and it's killing me. i should've told you how i was feeling instead of letting it drag out and leaving you in the dark. you didn't deserve that." his words were rough and you'd known him long enough to know he was fighting back tears. you also knew if you watched him cry, you'd also cry and you'd promised yourself you wouldn't do that in front of him. you wouldn't let him see you vulnerable like that again.

"no, i didn't."

"baby-" the endearment slipped from his lips from habit and you froze on your turn to the door, stomach dropping and that ache building even more in your chest. jude shook his head a little and rubbed the back of his neck, his bicep straining against the soft cotton of his shirt. "i'm sorry."

"i know you are but that doesn't make me feel any better. i don't- i can't have this conversation again, i can't hear you say you don't love me anymore, jude." pain and regret twisted his features and he shook his head. he made to reach for you but thought better of it, pressed his hands to his sides.

"i didn't stop loving you."

"stop it." your bottom lip wobbled and you had to stare straight at his chest to avoid the look in his eyes. "you can't- i don't want you to lie to me. you broke up with me, you don't do that if you love someone."

"that's not fair."

"life isn't really fair, is it?" without thinking, your fingers raised to tug at the necklace around your throat, a nervous habit you'd picked up years ago. it was only then that you even realised you were still wearing it, the silver "j" suddenly feeling hot and heavy against your skin. "oh, i forgot.."

setting the box down again, you fiddled with the clasp, awkwardly unclipped it before letting the piece of jewellery drop into jude's palm. he stared at it for a few seconds before shaking his head, trying to push it back towards you but you'd already picked the box back up.

"no, this is yours, you don't need to give me it back."

"i'm not gonna keep wearing it, jude. why would i?"

"because-"

"i'm not yours anymore, remember? i'm not gonna wear a necklace that says i am. i don't want it." your tone was harsh, harsher than necessary and it made him flinch, his brows drawing in. "wearing that let me pretend that this wasn't real, that it wasn't actually happening but it is and i can't keep lying to myself. everything reminds me of you and it hurts. i don't want it to keep hurting."

jude dropped his gaze, let his eyes instead focus on your hands. you were both quiet for a few seconds, neither knowing what to say. you'd gotten everything out of your systems the day of the break up, there was nothing else to say other than goodbye. you cleared your throat and nodded a little awkwardly towards the door.

"katie's waiting for me."

for the second time in as many weeks, jude let you walk away without another word.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episode 2 [PART 1]

I miss the grittier, browner Bonta of older seasons...

Agardoes what Jorisn't.

(totally not a joke I've been making for months now)

Moooooom Yugo was MEAN to me. Ngl Qilby was so good in this season, his interactions with Eliatrope are filled to the brim with insane implications.

Even more movie asset reusage. Ughh. The tavern Kerubim talked to Bakara at would NOT still be standing. It's canonically underwater and underground and shit. Like the rest of Dofus era Bonta.

Kettle insulting a pan for being on fire.

Ush will only have the right to insult him if he can stop fucking cats. <3

Both of these are also asset reusages but I'm too lazy to track down from where. The woman is from Aux Tresors, and the man is from Wakfu season 2, is all I can tell without further inspection.

I'm sure there's more stuff I missed, but I'm already annoyed enough that they decided to cut costs at every single corner even without looking further into it...

He's still a catfucker. Sad, oh well.

My beautiful wife.

[start talking shit about Ush as loud as possible the second he is in a hearing distance, in an exaggerated, expository way]

This is some school locker bully behavior, made funnier by the fact that the person actually doing all the bullying is Ush.

The way Atch starts staring here, and Ush immediately says "not here to fight, lol" just confirms the fact that this conversation is 90% all about letting Ush know he is not welcome <3

Something that makes me extremely mentally ill is about to happen, chat.

When it's Wakfu cast, who are Joris's friends whom he wants to impress, it's all "Papa... you're being awfully selfish for not letting us go and fight together with you :))"

But when it's Ush, it's immediately "whether my little Jojo is home or not depends entirely on what the fuck you want from him." as if Joris isn't a 600yo politician and kind of should hear whatever Ush has to tell him, and as if there aren't huge eyes in the sky that he was interested in.

Conspiracy theory: one of the reasons Joris is still single (besides the aromanticism, horrible personality, misantrophy, 20 psychiatric disorders, not wanting to be in relationships—) is that 99% of people who have ever had a crush on Joris were afraid of disappearing under mysterious circumstances.

Kerubim's little mad, unamused look...

I want to point out, once again, that when you actually pay attention to the OVAs and this moment, Atcham and Kerubim always kinda... act like Joris is a child.

Joris expressed that the eyes in the sky concern him? They try to stop Ush from talking to him outright. Because they don't like Ush, because they don't want Joris to investigate this, and because they want him to stay home.

Joris expressed that he doesn't want them to fight Ush together with him because he doesn't want to see them hurt? They don't give a shit, and try to express that in the softest way possible that won't embarrass Joris in front of his friends.

It feels like a mix of holding Joris on a leash, but also trying to wrap him in a cotton wool. Sometimes it helps Joris, sometimes it's just patronizing.

Ngl they do have good reasons to protect their [checks notes] 600-year-old ambassador from this guy.

You have no idea what this moment means to us, Atcham fans. All three of us.

Kerubim's expression..... probably gauging how likely it is that Atcham might start screaming or clawing at something.

Words can't express how much of a Gift this entire scene is.

Atcham looks like he's about to lose his anger management badge. Kerubim looks like he's scared that Ush is going to die or kill Atcham in self-defense.

HE'S SO SCANDALIZED.

The anger management classes + not wanting to be arrested?

KERUBIM SO UNAMUSED.

Kerubim is probably so used to seeing Atcham freak the fuck out about things. It's his brother's special charm.

[wipes tear] He's learned to love the bomb.

...sorry for making references to the band glass animals. it will happen again,. if you dislike that maybe you should learn to love the bomb too.

[softpine]

can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

via @romanceyourdemons

#THEY MAKE ME SICK!!!!!!!!!!!#the autism adhd solidarity is killing me dead also is that ying yiren’s fucking pendant making a cameo#if so THE SYMBOLISM#the kingmaker denying his liege the pendant because of what it appears to be (despite its obvious significance to the liege)#vs the kingmaker granting his liege the pendant in consideration of its significance to him while still appraising him of how it appears#beautiful work. insane work.

i've decided to stop making characters autistic accidentally and start making them autistic on purposed! you've heard of neurodivergency rights, now get ready for neurodivergency wrongs! lots of them!

IT IS YING YIREN'S PENDANT!!!! YOU GET A PRIZE FOR NOTICING!!!! the main takeaway here is if your trusted advisor doesn't let you keep your favorite jewellery it means they're secretly evil.

real talk, writing these characters who are socially inept/break convention without being aware of it, is very interesting. as a child, i've always had a persistent feeling that i had done Something Wrong without knowing what it is. and that Wrong Thing made people not like me, but for reasons i couldn't comprehend. according to Kid Me, i hadn't done anything bad! I didn't steal their stuff, or break something, or say anything mean like "you're ugly and dumb," in fact, i was trying really hard to be friendly! so what was it about me that was so off-putting? what was i missing here? and being able to reverse-engineer those experiences and make my characters go through them is honestly kinda fun. i'm putting them in the most harrowing experiences known to man; Botched Social Interaction.

zhang liang in my mind has gotten past the whole "im sad no one likes me stage" and has moved on to the "idgaf if people think im weird i got places to be and shit to do stage." it's kinda interesting that he does everything liu bang has been doing with the Running Up That Hill thing, but he gets a very different reaction out of fan kuai because he is perceived differently. liu bang has insane pretty privilege and a maxed out charisma stat, so the things he does comes across as endearing and confident, whereas zhang liang comes across as weird and off-putting.

[jboofan]

It's in our DNA

3. I kinda need your help

Jungkook woke to find himself in his bed, pillow drool soaked, hung over and embarrassed.

He called for YN and got no answer. He messaged her but no reply.

"Fuck this."

Deciding she wasn't there, and swimming in a pool of self pity he turned over and fell back to sleep.

**

It took walking to the cafe door and getting confused by the plethora of coffees on offer for Jimin to wave her over to him.

"What took you so long?" he pouted playfully.

"Yeah we've been waiting half an hour for you to come update us on last night," Taehyung whispered excitedly.

"Last night?" she blew on the coffee, licking her foam moustache. "What you mean?"

"We mean Jungkook the drunk on Weverse."

"Oh. That."

She shrugged her shoulders.

"He'd actually fallen asleep so I had to ninja my way over to the lounge, watch his stream on my phone and turn his phone off without thousands of people noticing," she took a sip nonchalant.

"Oh god," Jimin sighed, "we are so sorry. He's just so emo these days."

"Any reason why?"

Taehyung stopped Jimin from going further.

"Wait, I've seen you before..Jimin look at her face, doesn't she look familiar?"

YN scoffed.

"Are you trying to say I look common? My parents are decent looking," she looked at them, scoffing, "it's not like I've been with the ugly stick, just because I'm not an idol y'all are harsh."

Jimin laughed out loud, "Not exactly short on confidence are we?"

YN sat up straight, "Not in every situation, but I'm working on it."

Jimin analysed her face, squashing it in his hand and turning it side to side.

"I'm not the greatest with names," he paused to look at her profile again, "but I'm great at not forgetting a face. Where are you from?"

"I was born here, but studied in the States."

"Born where? Seoul? Have we worked with you before?"

YN laughed. "I wish, if I had made just one music video for you guys, I'd be able to pick my work. But alas no."

**

Jungkook was surprised to slowly realise first hand how, well, nice YN was.

Without saying anything, she hung about when he did a Weverse live, although he had cried during the last one when Namjoon had logged on, commented and asked him to sing a song.

Now, again, several gulps of whiskey later, he had pulled his beanie hat off, gripped the karaoke microphone tightly and sang his little heart out. When he was starting to ramble, she came out of her room, sleepily shuffling her feet over to the rug where he sat and gestured it was time to end his fan meet.

Ten minutes later, still saying good bye to each comment, she'd just about had enough.

Jungkook watched her grow irritated and advance towards him. Quickly spouting off the last, final quickly goodbye Jungkook looked on, as she snapped his phone shut and threw it at him before trudging towards her room.

"Thanks," he called out, although he'd hesitated until she was nearly at her bedroom door.

"Go to sleep," she shouted back, but he carried on.

"I didn't realise it was so late."

"Drink less. You're always drinking," she looked at him, but he couldn't work out what the look was. "It just makes you look sad to them all."

"You watched?" he nudged the conversation along, although all she wanted to do was go back to bed.

"Jimin said you do lives, and lately have been all emo."

So she wasn't interested in watching me, he thought. It's only because of the others.

"Try being happy, talk about happy stuff. You're too depressing to watch," she admitted before shutting the door.

He didn't like to admit it, but having YN as a roommate wasn't that bad. The fact she was innocent enough to tell him what she thought without thinking much of it, he appreciated.

This went on for a few months, and they fell into a quiet way to live. YN did her best to stay out of his way, as promised but lately her schedule has changed and he was then suddenly seeing her around the apartment during the day too.

They fell into a comfortable routine around the house. YN usually left for work before Jungkook got up in the morning so they didn’t see each other before work, but she started coming home earlier for dinner in the evenings.

Suddenly they were awkward and having to find things to talk about with each other, and finding out more about eachother as the days went on.

It was amazing how she knew how to cook, and she even made enough for him if he walked in the door on the days she was at home.

Slowly conversation became less forced, he looked forward to the time he spent with YN at night after gym over dinner; liked talking to her and having someone at home to be with at the end of the day when he walked in.

What cemented their new found friendship was coming in late, finding the light left on for him and a plate warming in the oven for him.

He'd begun leaving the gym earlier on the days she was home to join her for dinner, and tonight he joined her to watch TV after they ate.

After a few episodes, he would go into his room, leaving to try and call Jennie leaving her alone on the sofa. YN hated those evenings, because he never got hold of Jennie and would come out to rummage for a drink and a long night of making sure he doesn't make a fool of himself online would begin.

But they were beginning to get along, Jungkook never did anything rude or wrong and he'd even gone as far as saying that he would never tell her to leave. She was free to leave when she was ready, and that look such a weight off her shoulders that she began to quietly enjoy being able to relax at home more.

**

After falling comfortably into their newfound roomielife together, YN got up earlier than usual and entered the kitchen to find Jungkook standing there behind the center island, topless, drinking a protein shake.

He was still wearing his running shorts and sweaty t-shirt had been flung over his shoulder as he stood there having returned from his morning workout, all sweaty.

Still, he smiled at the unexpected sight of her.

“Morning, YN. What you doing up so early? I thought you would have slept in after being away."

YN didn't make eye contact, as he stood there chest out, tattoos glistening from his sweat.

"I um, slept well. When you work outdoors most of the year, you build up stamina and endurance."

She took an orange from the refrigerator and started to peel it, holding the garbage can open with one foot as she tossed the peels.

"Why don't you take a seat, and I'll treat you to the best scrambled eggs of your life," he reached for a frying pan and then the eggs.

When she was finished, she headed for the cloak cupboard to grab a light jacket.

"Wait," he jogged over to her. "You got a little something on your face," he pointed out.

YN's hand rushed to her face but he beat her to it. Suddenly feeling his fingers against the side of her lips had her suddenly scared to breathe.

"There was some orange from the white bit," he gave her a big smile before heading back to the kitchen.

"I'm just on my way out, thank you though," she smiled politely unable to make his gaze.

"Jimin invited me out for coffee and breakfast."

Jungkook's smile turned to a frown. “YN, I really like you but I don't want you to get your hopes up."

Now she was puzzled.

"Hopes up about what?" she slipped her shoes on and grabbed her bag.

"Jimin is a bit of a flirt, he'll try it on. I don't want things to get awkward."

He knew he shouldn't have said such a lie, but it was the first time she'd blown him off and he wasn't sure how to take it.

I can't believe she's leaving me and fluffy eggs for some fancy coffee with Jimin.

She really had no idea the magnitude of the effect her answer would have on him.

"Jimin isn't like that. We've gone out for coffee before and it's not like that, I assure you. I'm not trying to date your friends Jungkook. He bought coffee last time, so I wanted to repay the favour."

No longer wishing to hear what he was insinuating, she gave up on him and closed the door fast, unable to get that image of him out of her head.

Just because they ate a few meals together, shared the apartment and laughed at the same shows that didn't mean shit.

Besides, she wasn’t looking for anything. And he was way out of her league.

But damn, she wished she could get the image of him out of her mind everytime he turned up all sweaty and gorgeous. She only wished she would stop fantasizing about the man every time she saw him—and, for that matter, when he wasn’t around.

YN tried to ignore her physical reaction to him and figured it would go away eventually, but for now, the attraction was powerful and it wasn’t easy to put aside.

"I'm just a roomie, maybe a friend. Don't be stupid YN. It's just, a little crush."

When she found Jungkook in his gym clothes in the kitchen, hair damp and sweaty from his workout and those curls of hair edging their way to his lower neck, it was a lot more than she could handle.

How dare he try and look so boyishly handsome!

His T-shirt looked soft and comfortable as if it had been washed hundreds of times, and had well-worn, threadbare, see-through spots that gave more than a hint of the muscles underneath it when he wore it. Ashamed she wished to be that t-shirt as he flung it over his broad shoulders.

On other days, she's seen it on him, slightly damp from his workout so it clung to his abs, showing off the cut of each muscle on his stomach.

She felt like an idiot the instant the image popped into her head, and how for the love of God she still had a hard time looking at him as she spoke.

"He must think I'm so lame," she mumbled as she headed for the lift.

YN wasn’t an idiot. She knew Jungkook dated pretty things and had dated Jenni, on off for ages now. Although she was confident about her looks and knew she was attractive, she wasn’t that attractive. She saw herself as girl-next-door kind of cute—appealing in a sweet way. She didn't have time to show off her outdoors beach running skills or her killer tanned abs when she was a self professed workaholic.

Yep, he has a type. The hot, sexy, idol type; leggy-blonde-model sort of way, so Jungkook wouldn't be interested in her. She was sassy, gave lip and thought too much.

Besides, she reminded herself again, she didn’t want a relationship. The whole point of this living arrangement was for her to be able to work closer to the studios and write a script to offer to dinner of the stars she worked with. Get someone to want to act her script, get a budget, a director to make her vision come to life.

"Those that don't remember why they are here, working stupid hours will be doomed to repeat it," she scolded herself, as she punched the floor in and waited for the doors to close.

The last thing she wanted to do was let him see that she was over thinking their connection.

For a second I thought he was jealous. God I've such a vivid imagination. YN you are delusional.

**

Jungkook stared at the eggs, and returned them to the fridge. It wasn't the first time he'd realised she was nothing like the women he knew and dated in the past. Hell, Jennie would have taken what he offered and started running up tabs for clothes, jewellery and trips overseas…. Instead, here YN was getting up early to go buy Jimin coffee.

He didn't have much time to think about it any more, since Jennie had decided to finally pick up his call.

"Jennie!" he cleared his throat and gave his ex-girlfriend his attention.

He heard a muffle, the sound of people in the background before she spoke.

"Jungkook, why do you keep blowing up my phone?"

She huffed but he ignored that and carried on.

"Thanks for finally calling back, I know you're on your tour now," he perked up at the fact that she picked up in the first place.

"We broke up remember, so why do you keep saying you miss me? We're in Amsterdam right now and heading back to Paris tomorrow. I'm busy."

Things never worked out between them but he was a fool for her, and he hadn't fucked anyone since they broke up.

"When you back?"

"Another month."

"Wanna get dinner together? We could go to the place we always go to."

"You mean that Italian restaurant?"

"You always said you loved going there," he wasn't sure why she was sounding like this until she sighed.

"I only went there because I wanted to pretend to like what you liked. We were dating and I thought you would just go there the once but that's the only place you'd ever take me!"

"I thought you liked it when I did that? You didn't tell me you didn't like it when we went there."

He felt his energy begin to drain, as he recounted how tired this conversation was making him.

"Yeah well I didn't like it, so now you know. And I'm not free for dinner. You're so boring Jungkook. Call me when you get a new personality."

She cut the call before he could give a sassy reply, leaving him to swear loudly to himself.

**

YN smiled as she walked back to the apartment. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and there was hardly any traffic. She walked past a famous bakery, the sweet aroma pulled her in, and soon she was blowing an incredible amount on baked goods.

"YN!" came a shriek, that belonged to Luna.

"What you doing here?"

"Late for heading back to work after lunch. But I have great news!"

"What's that then?" YN stuffed a croissant into her mouth, the delicious buttery pastry melting on her tongue.

"Do you remember that cute guy I told you about?"

YN looked at her blankly trying to recall the conversation.

Luna sighed. "I literally messaged you this morning."

YN briefly recalled Jungkook, shirtless in the kitchen.

"Oh, you did? My bad."

"Well, anyway. There is a cute guy that works in my department and he saw you the other day at the office."

YN shook her head. "Luna no way am I dating someone from work. Just because we work on different networks doesn't mean it would always stay like that. What if it doesn't work out? Then it'll just gonna awkward."

"He's a history buff, knows a lot about the country and would love to take you on a tour of the city. Said he saw you and wanted to know if you're single."

YN shook her head immediately walking off.

"I don't have time," she lied.

"One date. You never know!" she pleaded with huge eyes until YN gave in.

"I dunno Luna.."

"Least have a look at his picture before you say no."

**

YN stood and left her room, planning to make another iced coffee when she heard the front door shut. She went to the hallway just in time to see Jungkook getting into his jacket. He looked up and caught her watching him. Because, of course he did. She felt the heat rush to her cheeks but she didn’t duck out of sight. She raised a hand and waved goodbye.

He winked at her, "I'm just out to the studio. I'll see you soon?"

YN tried not to melt.

"Sure, I'll see you soon."

YN stacked a few matching lacy sets of lingerie on her bed before deciding on a colour.

"It's not like anyone's gonna get to see them, but a little ego boost never hurt a woman," she smiled before deciding on an outfit.

YN opened the large closet, grabbing the heavy clothing she’d taken from the back of her closet to make room. Taking out a few of his jumpers, she began sorting them for a pile to be stored away.

She shoved the rest of Jungkook's things under the bed. He would probably scream to see her treating his cashmere sweaters like that, but that’s what he got for not putting his fall clothing away when the weather turned warmer. The man had a ridiculous amount of clothing.

Buffed and moisturised, she stepped out the shower, took a big gulp of her wine and into her confidence boosting outfit not realising Jungkook had already returned home.

An hour after, nipping into the kitchen for more wine to help her nerves and implant more Dutch courage, after final make up check she spied his keys in the bowl besides her.

"Jungkook?" she called loudly, finishing her wine and wiping her mouth carefully to not smudge her lipstick. "I'll catch you later."

No answer.

Then came a groan, which sounded odd.

Unsure if he had stepped on a plug or something else, she neared his door and knocked as another groan travelled through the door.

She knocked again, "Are you okay?"

Suddenly Jungkook called out clearly.

"Fuck, shit! Thank God you heard me YN! I need your help!" he pleaded as she came through the door.

YN had thought he needed help, and had never expected to see Jungkook like this; perhaps he lost his phone charger or an earring stud she thought, but hadn't banked on finding him naked in bed, his cock erect and a painful look on his face.

Jungkook never expected another human let alone YN to see him like this.

A painful erection that wouldn't go down, a half bottle of wine drunk straight out the fridge and him lying there unable to move.

"YN!" he grimaced against the bedsheet. "You're a girl."

YN averted her eyes and looked interestingly at the ceiling.

"That's very perceptive of you!" she edged forward till her knee hit the edge of his bed and grasping the bedsheet threw it at him. "At least cover up!"

Eyes closed she hiccuped.

"Ow ow ow!" he called out hissing in pain as the bedsheet hit his tent pole.

"Maybe we should call for help!" she turned the other way to ring Jimin.

"No! Don't call him please! Don't call anyone!" he whimpered in pain, making small noises.

"Then what the hell am I supposed to do when you call out for help and I find you, alone with your erection for company?!"

Her eyes opened, and forcing herself to not lower them she stared him in the eyes refusing to look anywhere else.

His eyes focussed in on YN, standing there hands on hips.

"Where you going?"

"I need to go out in a few minutes," she looked directly at his eyes.

"YN, please. Cancel. I need your help."

"I can't cancel this. I'll be in so much trouble if I cancel this one too."

"YN, please," he begged. "I need your help." He gulped, and winced as he tried to sit up. "I can't get it down. It's been nearly an hour. I thought a quick power wank and get on with my day, but it won't come down!"

"Who the fuck has a power wank?? I don't know how to help. Maybe you can just, massage it?"

Jungkook shook his head, "No please, everytime I try to go near it I feel like I've been shot. Can you rub it?"

"How the hell is that supposed to help?" she hiccuped again.

"How much did you drink?" he asked her between shaky breaths.

"A few, for the courage."

"I'm begging you YN. Please will you have sex with me. Just get on it and make it cum and then I swear I will never do it again."

YN knew she had heard him wrong. When he repeated it again, she had to blink as the warmth of the wine spread to her stomach and made her cheeks begin to warm up.

Jungkook watched her eyes blink one too many times, a slow rose tint to her cheeks.

"YN, please. I'm begging you to help."

YN simply blinked.

"Oh god, I've broken you and my dick. Jesus, YN I need your help," he hiccuped.

@lavendersugarplum

@btsw1fe

[dreamtydraw]

Hey euhm- so i've been kinda depressed lately ? Aha- don't wanna spam your feed but for the people interessed let's have a little tchat under the cut of what I have been doing this past days.

As when I'm writting this we're friday in the afternoon, on top of being depressed i'm also sick ! ( youhou- ). I don't know when i'll post this, Might just post it as soon as I finish writting.

Okay so about me, I started talking about feeling bad last week, got slightly better and then boom had an emotional decent and horrible days were I straight up cried like 3 or 5 times. I'm doing a bit better, still feeling shitty and being majorly sick right now ( catched a flu ) but the thing is, during my bad days I decide to straight up uninstall tumblr from my phone.

Why did i do that ? Well because when i'm in my moments of down feeling, i tend to jealous people doing okay which is a bad mindset that I dislike and try to get away from cause it's only unfounded negative feelings that might cause me to be rude toward people I like and I don't want to be an ass.

Now that I'm feeling a bit better i'll try to auto cheer me up by posting and interacting about stuff I like.

SO, what have been doing ? Well struggling mainly. Since I'm super sick today I worked on sending some packages ( ones I could send ) and I'm still waiting for the arrival of the rest of my merch.

Since everything about my shop is a mess right now, I don't know when it will reopen honestly, I need better time to prepare hopefully you'll understand.

I've been working on apple bag but thing is, if my mental health decline once more in the approaching weeks I might put a small stop in production to stop stressing myself. In the best outcome, the update release will be october 31, in worse it will surely be reprogrammed for november/december.

Now on more joyous news at least I'm alive and I want to make a point to say that none of you have any obligation to cheer me up. I received a lot of nice gifts last week when I said I wasn't doing well but it made me feel guilty. So i'm not saying to never be nice to me, My brain can start feeling guilty about anything to be honest, I'm just making sure that you know that it's not your role to cheer me up or any internet person you like, don't feel forced to do that just because I open up about being sad. Sometimes a bitch get sad and just need a kit kat.

I'll try to catch up on things I need to answer and mainly contact people regarding the DTIYS event that ended some time ago.

I hope everyone is doing okay, if any of you reading this is having a hard time regarding their mental health I'm sending you a cosmic radiation hoping this will reach you and make you sleep cause sleeping always help a bit, don't forget to drink water btw.

Lot of loves, and to the 3 sweet people who cared enough to read, I'm wishing you good luck and money suddenly appearing in your bank account. Have a nice day.

and I forgot what else I wanted to say.

eat oranges for vitamin C if your country is cold like mine rn.

[katesmemes]

feel free to change any pronouns, etc. || may contain some nsfw! || PART TWO HERE.

"Tonight is the fucking night, okay?"

"We are getting in the puss and we are gettin' wet."

"Nobody's gonna wanna fuck me this year just like nobody wanted to fuck me last year or the year before."

"And just what would I say?"

"They could've broken up, you never know."

"I'm not doing that with [Name], y'know what I mean?"

"I'm playing the long game with [Name], okay?"

"What the fuck happened to her?"

"That made me so sad."

"I don't need this negative, really sad attitude, please."

"What the fuck are you wearing?"

"It's really not too late to turn around, y'know?"

"I think you wanna be here."

"Where'd you get that idea?"

"What are you guys doing here?"

"What happened to your arm?"

"Oh my God, she ate shit is what happened."

"Oh my God, what did you do?"

"I don't wanna say it, but we're fucked."

"I'm done trying to sow my damn oats."

"Because he's gay and fearless, he'll probably fuck me without protection!"

"Everybody knows he's fucking fruity!"

"I don't wanna live like that."

"Why do you always have to flirt with other women?"

"You're attacking me and it's giving me a migraine."

"You can't tell me what to do!"

"I'm sorry that I looked at [Name], and lightly grazed her left tit, alright?"

"Don't talk to me you ugly bitch."

"I do not talk to girls in overalls."

"You're being really mean right now."

"You have to understand that this was a misunderstanding."

"I hate to break it to you, but we are pretty big losers."

"No, I don't wanna do that."

"What's the problem?"

"I know how to take a punch."

"I just wanted to say, thank you so much for last night."

"Maybe this would be a great way to take your mind off of stuff."

"My dad left me and I'm incredibly punctual."

"I don't know about this shit."

"Stop smiling; I'm kicking your ass!"

"All women are hot to me."

"I don't know how that's really been sitting with me, y'know?"

"I feel like I kinda killed the vibe."

"I've never really, I guess, said that to anyone before."

"You're really, really brave."

"There's something you maybe should know..."

"Well, I wasn't going to do it, but this is the last straw..."

"Are you having sex with [Name]?"

"[Name], you look so beautiful."

"I can't answer that question because I don't know how to read."

"I'm gonna fuck up some footballers and I'm buying a gun."

"Okay, well, don't get distracted because we could be fined like $2 for this, so..."

"Thought you might want some company."

"I mean, I think it's for the best..."

"I do kinda miss when he would touch my hair..."

"I wanted to tell you this before, but...I really appreciate you fighting and speaking loudly at my boyfriend."

"I really value when people use violence and raise their voices for me."

"It's actually one of my love languages."

"I know everything is, like, really fucked up, and you still probably miss [Name], which I get, but I just think you deserve way better, [Name]."

"Great, what're we supposed to do now?"

[spaceorphan18]

I just need to get some feeling things off my chest - because it's in my thoughts and I feel like I'm stuck unless I express it - you know?

Anyway, I'm putting it all under a cut because A) It's XMen 97 speculation and might be spoilery? there are no spoilers but I don't want to run anyone else's fun, B) I'll be talking about Beau DeMayo, and C) lord help me, I'm bringing up Rogneto

Okay - I want to talk about this first. I read this last night and it made me throw up in my mouth a little. And my ultimate first reaction was that I was glad he was fired.

Honestly, I've been worried that we're headed on an AoA direction for a while now, and even though I actually am fine with the AoA comics, I just do not want it here. The thing, though, is that AoA was always meant to be undone - so if he had had his way and this was Season 3 out of 5, the idea of that doesn't bother me so much.

Granted (logically) - the fact that he's outright saying this when he's been so cryptic about everything else means that it wasn't ever on the table. Still - the guy is just a hardcore Magneto fan. I wouldn't be surprised if the (one) reason the triangle thing even happened is that he does/did like the idea of Rogneto.

Ultimately, to each their own - ship what you like. But doesn't mean I would enjoy that scenario.

x

Then there's this.

There's another post where he talks about using a Star Trek Next Gen episode for homework. And it's one where they're stuck in a time loop.

And it had me thinking that Rogue will get a chance to go back in time and at least tell Remy how she feels. She'll get some closure. Which is -- good for her, and I want her to not be in pain anymore.

But kinda sucks, because closure is closure, you know? And maybe dead is dead?

x

It's so funny because emotionally - my senses tell me that Gambit's story really is done. And that just makes me so sad to think about. They really did the thing and the door is closed and what next, we all move on and be happy? *sigh*

But then there's the logical part of me that kicks in. The one who has been to dark places with fandoms (and even this one) before. The one who knows that even Jean and Morph have been dead before and have come back. The one who knows that every time a comic book writer ends their tenure on a book there's always something the next writer will inevitably retcon.

There's no way - with all the experiences I've had with these mediums that Gambit stays dead. It's still a comic book world. And dead is dead just doesn't happen.

x

Also, in the while I'm thinking about it category -

Last week ole Beau teased a 'I can feel you' hint. I really think this was referring to when Rogue wakes up from her coma. She was dreaming that she could feel Remy. I'm kind of surprised I haven't seen that speculation though.

x

So, idk - I try not to spend a whole lot of time on Twitter, and this guy is ultimately fired and doesn't control direction on the show. And there's still the comics where everything is actually going pretty well. So. I really should be normal about a cartoon.

OOff.

x

ETA: I forgot I was going to mention the Grant Morrison influence.

If you pick up any trade of Morrison's run, he shares his outline of his original plans for New X-Men, and one of them was that he'd kill off Gambit to further Rogue's story. Now - Marvel was like, nope, Claremont wants to use them, so Morrison was denied. (And thank god, Claremont's XTreme run had some of the best Rogue/Gambit stuff in years.)

But I can't help but think that DeMayo may have been playing a little from that playbook. New X-Men has definitely been an influence on the show - from E is for Extinction to the psychic affair between Scott/Jean/Maddie. It wouldn't put it past me that the original Morrison outline that mentions killing Gambit off wasn't a least a little bit of an influence.

[timeloop-angel]

Ok now im thinking about masking

Cuz like. I think I've been masking for a long, long time to the point that it's hard to define solely as perfomece bc it's now part of my personality.

Being people pleaser and yadayada made me always try to act bubbly and shit. And now im bubbly and shit. Pretty silly if you will.

I think masking is so integrated into my bones. Subconsciously my reaction to being around other people is to kinda like. Act. And im aware that everything is kinda a performance anyways and even a mask is you in a way or another. But still.

I feel very envious of people or characters that are kinda like. Expressionless or deadpan. Cuz i think that's my most comfortable state. But i cant never truly be in that state, because even when im alone im still obsessed with smiling or doing some sort of reaction or some expression, i do it almost unconsciously but its so weird because i feel so disconnected to it. When im alone and acting without an audience i feel i *am* the audience but also the actor at the same time.

And when im around other people, and for a minute i forget to mask, to perform, to act and im just there..in my all not so bubbly glory, even joking in a deadpan and i get so comfortable and relaxed and i can brrathe and just be but then i sense the people around me thinking that oh im angry or sad or tired or Weird so suddenly and then i think "oh right i have to smile ooops" then i go back to masking.

But then again im hyperactive, i have emotional disregulation and i have a history of dissociation so maybe im reading too much in the masking thing. I adore talking and small talks and getting to know people and maintaining a good, balanced conversation and from what i learned acting friendly, extroverted and bubbly is the best way to make other people comfortable and happy to archive that.

Ik i sound like im being false and rational and no its not that. My bubbliness is part of me and as much as performance (really. I do like joking around and laughing), its also not bc its jntergreted into my personality and maybe this post is kinda meaningless

But idk. I remember reading stuff about desmasking therapy and maybe should i look into that?

[dragons-and-magic]

I got more questions now, lol!🤣🤣🤣

Which type of dragon is critically endangered?

What’s the dynamic between Edward and James?

What’s Thomas’ backstory?

What’s the most common cause of death to the dragons? :(

Is there any dragons that can fly into space? lol

What type of dragon is Edward?

Are Frankie and Hurricane redeemable?

Who will most likely annoy others with dumb jokes or puns?

I know it’s weird but what zodiac sign do you see in James?

How do dragons age?

Awesome! Let's see now.

1: Which type of dragon is critically endangered?: Pretty much every species. Humans don't like dragons much. Some species are literally extinct.

2: What’s the dynamic between Edward and James?: Hm, I guess Uncle/Nephew kinda? Co-workers?? Clan mates??? I've never really been able to place their type of relationship. So it's kinda weird.🤔 They seem, friendly toward each other. At least in the newer episodes. I don't know really. Sorry.😅 Definitely gonna have to work on that one.

3: What’s Thomas’ backstory?: SAD STORY INCOMING! In the early days, when Henry, Gordon, and Edward had just become the new guardians of Gold Stone, they went out on missions to find and retrieve fleeing dragon trying to escape from humans. Thomas's mother was one of these.

Thomas's mother was running away from humans, trying to carry her newly hatched cub to safety. A hunting party was close on her tail and had already injured her wing. In a desperate attempt to escape, she leapt off a cliff into the ocean, and swam all the way to an island near Sodor. That's were Edward found her. Unfortunately, by the time he made it, the poor dragon had already succumbed to her injuries on the shore and was dead. But, underneath her wing, curled up and afraid, was a little dragon cub. It was Thomas. Edward was heartbroken her couldn't rescue the mother. But as a way of making it up to her, he adopted Thomas as his own.

This story is subject to change, but this is what I have so far.

4: What’s the most common cause of death to the dragons?: Humans. :( MORE Sad Stuff incoming! You have been warned! The situation between humans and dragons is weird. While they were always hunted, they are less known about now and less threatened. Dragon legends were more easily believed in the old days. And while humans sometimes take them down by mistaking for space craft or enemy planes, the dragons usually aren't found and simply succumb to their injuries far away from humans. Because even when dying, no one can allow what happened during the dragon hunting crusades. Not again...

5: Is there any dragons that can fly into space?: I actually talked about a dragon species that can here! But they are more or less supernatural entities that may or may not be real. In that case, no mortal dragon can fly in space. Because even if they're magic, they still need air to breath. Lol.

6: What type of dragon is Edward?: The working title for his species is a Lunar Moth Knucker. If you don't know what a knucker is, here's a handy chart of dragon types! You'll see it towards the bottom.

A few interesting things about his species is 1) they are said to be direct descendants of Lady, 2) their unusual deer like antlers help channel magic and manifest it in glowing swirls on the prongs or a small orb in-between them, and 3) their wings sport a eye-like pattern that can reflect light and is used for frightening off enemies. It's similar to the wings of a Lunar Moth, their namesake.

7: Are Frankie and Hurricane redeemable?: Absolutely! They'll get a redemption arc for sure!

8: Who will most likely annoy others with dumb jokes or puns?: Most likely? Thomas for sure. And he would do it annoy James and Gordon. And so would Bill and Ben. To annoy everyone.😂

9: I know it’s weird but what zodiac sign do you see in James?: I had to look up Zodiac signs for this, because I knew nothing about it. I still don't quite understand everything, but I'm going to say Capricorn? I don't know. Lol.

10: How do dragons age?: This one is complicated to answer, because I have yet to find a way that works well with the story. I have established though that Dragon can live up to hundreds of years old. And possibly age much slower than humans. I'll have to figure out a more definitive answer, but for now that's what I got.

Thanks for the questions! This was an interesting one!

[esprei]

have recently learned there's a bit more hate around trainwreckshipping than i was aware of so i guess i just wanted to talk about it a bit and give my two cents on the ship, how i see it and i guess my perspective on things. i've kind of always wanted to talk about it, but i just haven't been brave enough until now haha (sorry, i am not super eloquent when it comes to writing things like this so my apologies) ((also throwing it under a cut because it may get long and might also include some slightly sad-ish things so i don't want to just throw that in everyone's face you know))

----

i think i'll just preface things by saying i've always totally understood why trainwreckshipping has gotten so much flack since its inception. or hate, because maybe flack just isn't strong enough of a word. but i do understand. there were mischaracterizations of emmet by portraying him as violent to volo because it was assumed that volo was directly responsible for ingo's disappearance. i was guilty of it. suuuuuper guilty. and i can understand why that put the ship in such a position for many people. toxic, unhealthy, etc. but... i think what i'm a bit confused on i guess is the fact that it's still viewed so much this way to this day. viewed as one of the worst ships because of how toxic it is. how unhealthy it is. all because it started that way in fanon only. but you know, from a canon standpoint, it has nothing. nothing at all. so really, this ship could be anything because it's based in fanon only. no canon interactions of emmet and volo exist yet. there is no official basis on how these characters would interact with each other. and yes, while there were misunderstandings of both characters early on, that certainly doesn't mean it's still that way today. that doesn't mean that people haven't studied and looked at these two characters a little closer to understand them better and to try and make them more realistic to their canon portrayals. to make more accurate depictions of these characters and how that fits in to a healthier perspective with them. i dunno. it just kinda baffles me that with the variety of trainwreckshipping content out there now, some still call it toxic and unhealthy as if we're perpetually stuck in that time period of when it was. like it's not allowed to be anything but that ever just because it started that way. and what makes me the saddest about it all is now seeing so many friends and people in the community of the ship start to get disheartened and discouraged from enjoying something they really actually enjoy because there's still such a bad stigma to the ship. personally for a long time i've just ignored that stigma because i try not to let that stuff drag me down. but i will admit that yes, it has made me more reluctant to post any art i do of it. i've definitely had my periods where i've questioned uploading my emmet/volo art, usually as wholesome as it is, because it does have such a dark cloud around it fandom wise. it's why i made my side blog, in fact. because i just didn't feel very comfortable uploading mostly emmet/volo art here to my main because so many people dislike it or outright hate it.

and in regards to the ship itself, i think i've always thought of it in a slightly different way than most. not so much enemies to lovers but rather through the lens of how volo might could change, be redeemed, see the how his actions in the past inadvertently affected others (and by that I mean his involvement in opening the rift... like yes, that could be what caused ingo to be sent to hisui, but we don't know that for sure... and even if that was the case, volo didn't do it specifically to target ingo. volo was only ever interested in trying to get to arceus and build a better world in his vision).

or how volo could look at emmet after getting to know him and potentially see the beauty and value of the current world through him. you know, seeing someone like emmet and admiring that he can still find a reason to smile and be kind despite all of the pain and suffering he must have gone through since ingo's disappearance. volo starting to see a different perspective than he did before (aka wanting to build a new world because the current one was too full of pain and suffering) because of emmet. i dunno. that's just me personally. because since actually looking more at volo's character and his dialogue in game i've been real interested in redemption paths for him. exploring those possibilities. i just enjoy exploring said possibilities mostly through the dynamic i have in my head for him and emmet because it's fun. it interests me. i see cool potential in it. i enjoy it a lot. and while i don't think i ever portray volo super accurately, or even emmet for that matter, i still think i've come a long way since first finishing pla and ever looking at emmet/volo interactions. but regardless of all of that, that's the beauty of a ship of this nature. a ship that has absolutely no basis in canon. because it really can be anything you want it to be. it can be enemies to lovers, it can be more wholesome, it can be whatever. it's not locked into a specific dynamic because the characters have never officially met each other, let alone had a conversation. and even if that were the case... AUs are still a thing. :D

anyway that's pretty much all i had. just wanted to talk about it a bit because i've seen a recent uptick in people mentioning all of the hate and dislike for the ship etc and i dunno. i enjoy the ship a lot. it's just sad to see that there's still so much hate around it even though a lot of the content now is not like how it originally started. not from what i've seen, at least.

and while i don't expect anyone who hates it to ever warm up to it, i just wish it could be understood that the more toxic, unhealthy dynamic is not the basis of anymore. there are healthier portrayals of it now.

[pennyserenade]

Hello! Hope you’re doing well!! I’m not sure you’d like followers to respond to/ interact with your posts w your thoughts in the tags but I just wanted to say that I totally agree w your thoughts on Coryo and Sejanus LOL. Im v surprised (tho I guess I shouldn’t be given how old I am at this point + the no. of fandoms I’ve been in) that people can read them so differently from the novel. Coryo is an unreliable narrator and that makes it kind of fun to read because his pov shouldn’t always be taken as the truth. In fact I think it’s fun to read how differently his peers view him/ his r/s w other people vs what he himself perceives. Sejanus is such a nice, sweet boy and it’s kinda sad that other people don’t read him that way just because the book is filtered through coryo’s thoughts haha. He’s kind and dares to stand up for what he believes in… I think the saddest thing abt his story is that he was genuinely trying to help others directly but unfortunately the people he spoke to weren’t the most honest/ dependable (I don’t think the stuff with the rebels would have gone down well) and he also trusted Coryo (I don’t blame him cause Coryo was the only “nice” person in the Capitol) 😭 I suppose that’s also how difficult it is to deal w people sometimes IRL (in extreme situations). Anyway ya just wanted to share my thoughts :x feel free to ignore if this isn’t something you’re ok with!!

hi nonie! i'm absolutely okay with followers interacting with my tags and posts/coming to talk about this stuff with me! as you can probably tell i've got a lot to say about this stuff - i'm just a chronic in the tag poster lol.

because suzanne collins wrote the ballad of songbirds and snakes in a third person point of view, i think that readers have taken to assuming that what they're getting is an unbiased narrator, when in fact we are still very much getting a biased point of view from coriolanus. sure, we are distanced from his thoughts--not exactly seeing things through his eyes as we did with katniss--but that doesn't mean we don't have access to him and that his thoughts aren't distorting what we are seeing. i've thought a lot about the reasons suzanne collins might've chosen to use third person pov when she used a first person pov for the rest of the novels, and i don't think there was one definite reason. some of the brilliance of suzanne collins' writing lies in the fact that you do have derive these meanings for yourself at times. personally, i like to think that she chose to use third person pov because this story, while very much coriolanus-centric, belonged to characters like sejanus plinth and lucy gray, too.

the fact that this book came out during the trump's presidency isn't at all lost on me. i think what suzanne collins was saying was: look how badly this system failed this once privileged white boy. for all intents and purposes this should make him angry, and here are these district kids who have suffered just as he has. he can relate more to them than he can to any of his capital peers. he knows what it is to hunger and suffer and fight for your life every day, to be made to perform. when coriolanus turns his back on sejanus plinth and lucy gray baird, it is so tragic because he was meant to side with them and yet at the end of the day he turned his back on them because he wanted to be with 'his people.' he upheld this system that had so failed him because he thought people like lucy gray and sejanus plinth were primitive and less than because that's the mindless shit he had been fed his entire life. this is exactly what happened during that election. i've seen countless white people, who are every bit as poor and destitute as the immigrants that seek to come to this country for help -- if not more -- turn their back on them and support trump. even the poorest of whites think they are better than the richest of latinos or black people because this what their systems teach them, and it makes them feel good to think that.

i think that's why sejanus was district 2 turned capital. i believe that this was commentary on how, no matter how far poc and/or immigrants come, these white people will always view them as less than and that the system will never be forgiving of them. i do genuinely believe that coriolanus thought that sejanus' parents would save him in the end, and the fact that they couldn't was so shocking because he had, up until that point, seen the ways wealth had benefited plinth. he could not conceptualize a world where wealth wouldn't get a person what they wanted because he did not know what it was to be district. they did not see sejanus plinth, heir to the plinth fortune. they saw a district rat, a nameless, faceless traitor to kill. it is no surprise that coriolanus snow climbed to the top on the back of sejanus plinth tragic ending, because that's simply what happens every day.

i do understand and don't absolutely hate the conversations people have surrounding sejanus' privilege and what he chose to do with it/ what he chose not to do, but i think to consider sejanus an annoying, selfish character is erroneous. he was a boy who knew that this system would never favor him and was trying his best to envision a world where it might, and yes he did make stupid rash decisions, but at the end of the day what killed him was coriolanus snow and snow's desire for power. sejanus plinth was not stupid for trusting coriolanus snow, either; coriolanus snow was evil for betraying the boy's trust for his own self-serving agenda.

it is hard to live in a world like this. even as a white woman with a mexican father, i have have had to experience the kind of things sejanus did with people talking poorly about him and his family behind his back, and openly to his face. i am not accepted by either side and never will be, just as he wasn't. i will say i do experience immense privilege because of the color of my skin, and i won't ever pretend that i don't know that, but that's what i'm talking about: no matter how much i look like them, and act like them, i will always be a mexican's daughter and i am happy about that fact. i am mexican as much as i am white but it doesn't make the fight i have to struggle because of it any more fun.