#And thank you all for your birthday wishes.

[neiptune]

i don't want you like a best friend

cw: 4.2k wc, female reader, soulmate au, friends to lovers, tendo may be the only person in the world without a mark and it's quite hard to convince him that, most times, the universe doesn't know shit

“Holy shit, this is the best thing I ever tasted”.

“Don’t lie”.

“I’m not!”.

Tendo narrows his eyes, unimpressed.

“You said that about the last five bonbons”.

“Listen, the one with port and cinnamon was great n’all but this is a cookie dough brown butter bonbon. I’m blown away. I want to sleep with this one. I want to buy it dinner and then take it to bed”.

That’s when Satori laughs, loud and boisterous as he still allows himself to be around you. It makes you smile, seeing him happy.

“Tell me the secret to crafting these”.

“Again?”, he snorts, “I already explained the process a million times”.

“Wanna hear it again. I like how you talk about it”.

“Okay, weirdo”, there’s fondness and a silent invitation in the way he pushes the little box of his latest experiments towards you.

It’s soothing, comforting, listening to instructions you’re already familiar with. Tendo goes over how important it is to choose flavors that are fun and still be attentive enough to make sure the chocolate stands on its own: flavoring components should never completely ride over it. He skillfully exercises subtlety when coming up with new combinations, always keeps the interior so creamy and smooth the treat ends up melting in a delicious puddle on one’s tongue. The outer layer should never be too thick, chalky or cakey: that’s why he prefers to form most of the chocolates with his hands instead of using a mold.

There’s creativity involved in what he does but there’s also science. It requires a lot of patience, most of his work is made of tedious steps repeated over and over again within specific time limits and a perfectly calculated temperature. It fits him, you believe: Tendo’s always been diligent and persevering, no matter what the world threw at him.

He puts a lot of work in his boxes too, especially the ones he has to ship. They’re all triple-insulated, double-stuffed and always perfectly packed. A cute, colorful thank you card always goes hand in hand with each purchase, if he receives orders for a birthday or a special gift he’d even write a personal note as an addition. As a foreigner, it hasn't been easy to establish himself as a reliable chocolatier in a city like Paris, but he now has a pretty loyal clientele and the shop is basically never empty.

“That one’s my favorite”, Satori’s eyes zero on the bite-sized bonbon you’ve picked from the box.

You hum, appreciating the way the chocolate melts in your mouth. It’s not as good as the previous one but you recognize the artistry with which the flavors fuse with each other, chocolate ganache with clementine and hazelnuts, just a hint of lemon zest.

“They’re all incredible, ‘Tori. You’re very talented”. Tendo smiles.

“Thank you”, he mutters, grateful, “now, can we talk about it?”.

“There’s nothing to talk about”, you dangle your legs from the counter of the little production kitchen in the back of his boutique shop, closed for the day. It’s incredibly tidy, smells of soap and citrus.

“You impulsively booked a flight across the world because of a guy”.

Ouch.

“I flew across the world to visit my best friend”, you scowl, “thought he’d be happy to see me”.

“I’m fucking ecstatic, ma chérie”, it’s probably the happiest he’s been in years, “but we need to talk about it. Tell me what’s on your mind?”.

He can see the bags under your eyes, the usual brightness missing from your smile, playful vibration to your jokes absent. He knows you’re hurting and while he’d be thrilled to keep you in Paris for as long as you wish, Tendo has to know what’s broken before he even attempts to mend it. His gaze falls on a specific portion of skin of your wrist and a sigh slips past his lips.

“He broke up with me”, you articulate slowly, “said we weren’t compatible. Said it’s safer to abandon the delusional ideas that drew us close to each other and do things how they’re supposed to be done. According to the plan”, there’s a grimace on your face that pairs well with how you spit out the last words.

“Did you show him?”.

“No, you know I don’t do that anymore. He didn’t see mine and I never wanted to see his. He agreed to that”.

“Right”.

“And then, I don’t know, he did what everyone always does. Changed his mind”.

Satori sighs. Truthfully, he’s always been a little sad about your mark being permanently covered with thick foundation, concealer or whatever else. It’s been years. He misses seeing the little crooked triangle on your wrist.

“Well, maybe…”, he starts but is soon interrupted by a loud scoff.

“Don’t”.

“But they’re not wrong. The universe has it all layed out for you, maybe it’s time you stop being so stubborn”.

“I don’t care about the universe, Satori. The universe is not going to take away that choice from me, it should belong to me. I don’t want to be destined to someone, I want to be chosen by them”.

He deflates in the plastic chair he’s sitting on. Can’t really argue with that logic.

Ever since middle school, when your mark first appeared, you never wanted to succumb to the whole the cosmos has already decided who the perfect person for me is bullshit. You simply can’t accept giving up the freedom of falling in love with whoever you wish to pursue, regardless of the universe agreeing or not. That’s why you never really cared about matching marks and all that jazz, always dated those who seemed not to care either. But after a number of failed relationships, it became painfully obvious that deep down, everyone always believes marks are the real deal. It’s why you decided you never wanted to see the mark of the next guys you’d date, and certainly didn’t want to show yours anymore. Sometimes it’s even hard to remember it’s still there, underneath stubborn layers of concealer. You hated it your whole life.

“You’re right. It’s your life, you should live it however you see fit”, they’re idiots for giving up on someone like you in the name of a dumb sign or whatever anyway.

“I thought you’d understand this more than anyone, you’ve always hidden your mark too. I don’t even know what it looks like and it’s okay! It’s yours! Shouldn’t belong to anyone else’s prying eyes”, you pick another chocolate truffle from the special box he’s sorted for you. It’s red velvet flavored.

Tendo insisted on calling his shop like that, rouge velours, deaf to the literal translation not being entirely correct. The french need to associate the word gâteau to it, it has to be a red velvet cake. But he didn’t care, adamant in going with just red velvet.

It was a joke you had blurted out at the end of high school, sitting on the curb outside your favorite konbini on the way home, another summer evening made of snacks shared underneath the street lamps. Satori said he wanted to move to France and learn how to make handmade chocolates, open a shop and everything. You suggested it should’ve been called red velvet, would’ve paired well with his hair. It never crossed your mind that he would take your suggestion seriously.

Frankly, Tendo’s not changed much since high school. He’s a little taller, broader in the shoulders, prefers a buzz cut. He’s still cheerful, less loud if you’re not around, enjoys singing made up tunes to himself while he works, occasionally takes part in volleyball games when neighbors or friends from the gym invite him. More than anything, he’s still the kindest, most generous friend one could have.

You used to be a little jealous of Ushijima, never one to accept easily to be downgraded in the best friends ranking system. As a teenager, it was hard to acknowledge that Satori’s heart is simply big enough to fit everyone he cares about in there. Not many people realized how much of an honor that was anyway, so there was plenty of space.

He still calls Ushijima to check up on him and the fact that they declared to be best friends during a television show didn’t leave a sour taste in your mouth as it would’ve back then. Wakatoshi is a nice guy, it definitely grew on you and it now gives you comfort knowing that Satori gets to throw the blanket of his affection over more than one person’s shoulders.

Not a day goes by without missing him, different time zones making it even more complicated to keep up with each other. Yet, he’s always the one willing to stay up late to talk to you, insists that while you work in the morning, he enjoys crafting chocolates in the middle of the night. That hardly matters, since you know he has to wake up early to open the shop.

“Hard to hide something you don’t have”, he grins from where he’s sitting, in front of you. Your dangling legs come to a halt.

“What?”.

“I don’t have a mark”, Satori shrugs, “not a big deal”.

“That’s impossible”.

“You’ve seen me naked”.

“Because you didn’t lock the damn bathroom door!”, your face heats up at the memory belonging to so many years ago. He snickers.

“Well, if I had a mark you’d know!”.

You pause, incredulous.

“Did you check your nails? Maybe it was in your hair and you shaved it off. Everyone has a mark!”.

“I don’t have it”, he knows, he’s checked every inch of his body for too long before giving up, “don’t act so shocked, it makes perfect sense”.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”.

Satori shrugs, a timid smile on his lips.

“I’m damaged goods. I wouldn’t expect to be the right fit for anyone, the universe decided to spare me and a potential unfortunate match the embarrassment”.

To him, it’s perfectly normal that there’s no one right for him out there. Or rather, that he’s not the right person for anyone. Who would want that, anyway? The guy who’s always been too weird to be looked at normally. The guy who always stands out the wrong way. If the universe has decided to be merciful enough to spare him the disappointment flashing over someone’s face upon discovering that he’s their soulmate, the only thing Tendo should feel is gratitude. 

“Don’t say shit like that ever again, Satori. Damaged goods? What the hell? You’re the best person I know!”, you almost throw the chocolate box at his head, “anyone would be lucky to have you as their soulmate. Anyone. I’m certain you’re the perfect match for a lot of people but I find it very hard to believe they’d deserve you anyway”.

You’re his best friend, you’re supposed to say all that. Yet, kept silent by that fiery glare of yours, Tendo can’t help but feel his chest warm up.

He didn’t necessarily have a crush on you in high school, that’s what he told himself anyway. When you started going out with Eita, part of him was relieved you went for someone normal. His teammate fell into the right category: Semi was attractive, had good grades, knew his way around girls. It was a good reminder of what Tendo wanted for you, of what you deserved. He cared deeply about your happiness and would’ve went to impossible lengths to shield you from all the bad there was in the world. That still hasn’t changed. Your best friend was what he was always destined to be and it was more than what he could’ve asked for, anyway.

And so it wouldn’t have been right to fantasize, to admit to himself that for the first time ever since he was a kid, Tendo wished to be the opposite of what he was. He dreamed of a different childhood, school days filled with friends, practice bursting with laughter instead of whispers, not a reason in the world to direct him curious or grossed out stares. He wished he was handsome, charismatic, funny in a way that made girls laugh in sincere amusement instead of discomfort. He wanted so badly to be everything he was not, for you.

When he admitted to himself that he loved you, deeply, ferociously, in a way that would’ve scared off any other human being, high school was over and so was his volleyball dream. Another fantasy coming to an end. Satori announced he wanted to move to Paris, expecting life, distance, a different time zone, your boyfriends, to make the friendship too heavy of a task to keep up with.

And yet, you stayed by his side. Most importantly, you wanted him to stay by yours. Tendo has never been much used to the feeling of being wanted, his presence wasn’t exactly desired by other people throughout his life. But you and Paris both taught him that maybe he does have something to give, something people can be willing to accept. So what if that something isn’t romantic love? He’s already luckier than he ever imagined he would get. He’s going to be okay, as long as you’re his friend. He’ll manage.

“Satori”, you snap him back to reality, “I mean it. Fuck the universe”.

Honestly, the only thing he’s mad at the universe for is making you so deeply unhappy. Tendo’s not sure he can forgive the cosmos for failing you so many times.

“Yeah”, he agrees lightly, “fuck the universe”.

Maybe Tendo had a point when he referred to your little vacation as ‘impulsive’, given that you never really travelled outside of Japan before. Yet, what initially was an easy escape from your disappointing reality and a wonderful excuse to finally visit your best friend, soon turned into a delightful adventure.

You reciprocated Satori’s hospitality by being as useful as possible: you’d keep his place tidy and clean, get groceries, cook dinner. He’d insist on ordering out, would try to snatch the vacuum cleaner from your hand, sometimes Tendo would come home later than usual with his hands filled with groceries just so that you didn’t feel like you needed to refill the fridge. But you liked being there and you loved taking care of him, especially since he vehemently refused to go back to sleeping in his bed and offering you the couch instead.

On his rare free days, Satori gladly gives you a tour of the city and his favorite places. When he’s working, you’d explore Paris on your own, the little map he drew by hand safely nestled in your pocket. Yes, you obviously have a phone, but the map makes each stroll all the more special.

Being with him and feeling genuinely appreciated, in a city so wonderful and far away from home, made you realize that perhaps the universe got it all wrong. Maybe there’s no one out there with a mark similar to yours. Maybe you’re not a match for romantic love in the first place. You’re already lucky enough as it is, with a friend so wonderful you can share lovely dinners with over episodes of silly tv shows, in a tiny apartment filled with affection and laughter. It’s the best you’ve felt in years and the idea of leaving has never felt as dreadful.

But everyone has to get back to their life eventually: there’s your job, bills, rent, you haven’t visited your parents in a while. All these things you’re having a real hard time caring about as Tendo offers another glass of wine, the bottle you’re sharing practically empty resting by his feet.

It’s your last night in Paris and he insisted on cooking for once, a full course dinner paired with an expensive Clos de la Roche. Notes of woods and cherries dance on your tongue when you take another sip and you shut your eyes for a moment, savoring the taste. How did you end up on his bedroom’s floor anyway? Was it him who suggested sitting on the carpet with your backs pressed against his bed? No, you’re almost certain it was you. Satori tries to be less weird as a grown up, by his own admission: he leaves odd suggestions and ideas to other people, too busy trying to fit in now.

You find yourself observing his profile as he torpidly blinks, his own gaze focused on the hands holding his glass. The line of his jaw, the perfect curve of his nose. You think he’s pretty, spiky hair no longer there to tear away one’s attention from his features.

“Did you date a lot, here?”, you ask, genuinely curious. He turns to look at you, amused.

“A lot? When did I ever date a lot?”, Tendo chuckles to himself but you recognize the hurt simmering underneath the humor. It hurts you, too.

“Well, did you date?”, your impatience feels surprising but there’s no time to dwell upon unfamiliar feelings, not as Satori hums with a lethargic nod.

“Yeah, a few times”.

“They didn’t ask about your mark?”.

Tendo’s lips twitch as he remembers how ecstatic the women he went out with were upon finding out that not only his mark didn’t match theirs, he didn’t even have one to begin with. He was the safest option they could ever date, no risk of forever.

“It’s easier to date someone you know you’re not gonna end up with”, he shrugs, “they felt more comfortable, it was fun and momentary, thus risk-free”.

You click your tongue in disapproval and Tendo cocks his head, confused by your scowl.

“They, they, they. I always hated this about you, you’re always focusing on what other people think. I want to know, how did you feel?”.

Maybe it’s the wine or maybe it’s the fact that you’re about to become a fugitive presence in his life once more, but for once Satori feels like huffing out his frustration.

“Like shit”, he admits with a sly smile, “I could fall for just about anyone and I’ll always know they’re not my person. I won’t ever have a person and it makes me feel like shit”.

You’re not sure why tears are suddenly pricking the corners of your eyes. Maybe it’s because it’s really hard to remember the last time Satori allowed himself to be vulnerable around you. It always felt like he talked more to Wakatoshi, man to man or whatever. You never felt like you could be fully there for him and now it’s almost too late again, only a few hours before you fly off to the other side of the world.

“I hate them”, you murmur, “it’s just cruel. You’re not supposed to be anyone’s temporary fixing”.

“I’m not ever going to be anything but that”.

“No, Satori-”, in the process of positioning yourself better in order to face him, you kick the not entirely empty glass previously resting by your leg. It’s gonna leave a stain but you’ll find a way to take care of it before you leave, this is more urgent. This requires you taking your friend’s face into your hands, to bring it closer to your determined gaze. “That’s not true. The universe doesn’t know shit, okay? I know you. You don’t need a fucking mark. In fact, you know what? I’m happy you don’t have one. Thank god. I-”, he gently puts his hands over yours and leans over to tenderly kiss your forehead. Your train of thought derails as he fixes you with an amused, fond stare.

“It’s okay. Really”, Tendo lowers your hands and then leaves them cold, head falling to the side, cheek pressed to the orange duvet cover of his bed. You’re pouting, looking more beautiful than ever underneath the dim lights of his room, and so he can’t hold his tongue.

“You know, I find it incredible that you haven’t been able to find your person yet, universe or not. How’s it possible that someone as wonderful as you is being dumped by complete idiots just because they believe in some stupid pre-decided romantic assignation?”.

You mirror his position and rest your head on the softness of his bed. Despite being still on the floor, it almost feels as if you’re lying next to each other.

“They don’t believe I’m wonderful. I guess I’m just momentary, too”.

He scoffs. Deep down, Tendo also believes everyone should be granted the freedom to pursue their desired relationship, especially you. Don’t they know how lucky they are? You ignore destiny to give those dumbasses a chance and they leave before they even get to realize what they’re missing out upon.

“I think marks are bullshit”, Satori gently takes your hand and traces your fingers with his own slowly, eyes still boring into yours, “in a world with no marks, they’d be on their knees thanking their lucky star you showed interest in them at all”.

You hum, a soft smile tugging at your lips.

Before Tendo interrupted your little motivational speech, you were about to tell him why it makes you happy that he doesn’t have a mark after all. Looking at him now, it’s all the more clear. It’s horrible and selfish and childish but, this way, you will never have to go through it: you’ll never have to find out that the one person who’s always been by your side, the one person who knows you better than you know yourself and still manages to love you, also isn’t the one.

Tendo is the greatest person you know, the only one you’d trust with your life. His heart is your favorite part of him: always stayed big enough to fit in all those who asked for access, kindness embedded so deep within him he never let the world’s cruelty affect it. Satori never stored an ounce of that nastiness people loved oh so much throwing at him, it let it become an armor instead. Steel made of insults, cruel jokes, mockery. It breaks your heart that he still wears it. It would break your heart to discover that someone like him isn’t destined to be yours after all, that the universe wouldn’t be benevolent enough to assign the best friend you ever had as your soulmate.

“You don’t mean that”.

You blink, slowly, actually fighting to keep your eyes open.

“What?”.

“What you just said. You’re drunk”, he chuckles quietly and, horrifyingly, you realize your mouth decided to voice those thoughts out loud.

The shock lasts a few seconds. Tendo is no longer fiddling with your fingers but your hand is still in his and the more you look into those crimson irises, the less uncomfortable you feel about what you just said. Is it the wine or is it just right?

“You think I wouldn’t be happy if the universe assigned you as my soulmate?”.

“I think you wouldn’t hate it”, Tendo softly ponders, “but that’d be far from ideal”.

“Hey, you don’t get to decide that. Me and the universe would be agreeing for once”.

Satori swears his heart skips a bit. All those years, all that badly harbored hope, the entirety of his restraint crumbling pathetically after a few drops of expensive wine. You don’t mean that, you can’t mean that.

“You could look at me like that?”, the question is supposed to underline how ridiculous the idea is, but he realizes he just sounds wishful.

“I know you think it’d be hard but it really isn’t”, you laugh softly. You’re looking at him like that right now. As you abstendmindedly play with his fingers, thumb gently rubbing circles on the skin of his wrist, you appreciate the pink dusting his cheeks, the slightly furrowed brows, the sweetness of his questioning gaze.

Tendo exhales slowly. Neither of you is resting their head on his bed anymore, too captivated by each other. “I’m not sure I’d survive the discovery of you of all people, not being the one I’d be destined to stand with for the rest of my life. Because what a waste would be, for that person to be someone else”, it’s nothing but a whisper, raw honesty doing something funny to his stomach as it slips past his lips for the first time. There’s no one but you, honestly. He knows there’ll never be anyone else. The universe has planned love for those around him and an eternal curse for his heart.

“A terrible waste”, you agree and the hand not busy interlacing your fingers with his, suddenly closes around the soft fabric of his hoodie to bring him closer. Satori doesn’t dare move, let alone breathe, effectively paralyzed by the idea of indulging something you’ll regret the second it happens.

Except you don’t. When you kiss him, tentative at first, all the pieces fall right into place. Your lips curl into a small, knowing smile as the world slows down. Then finally, finally, he kisses you back. It’s deeper, a hand pressing to your cheek, it’s corrodingly tender and you feel yourself melting into his touch, into the genuine reverence he holds for you.

Tendo feels something unravel from within, the tangles and knots of hurt, uncertainty, combust and disappear into thin ashes. He’s too lost in the moment, too drunk on how close you’re holding him as your tongue brushes against his own, to pay any attention to the itchy feeling over the skin of his wrist. Right where your thumb is pressing, a crooked triangle appears at last.

[mysteryshoptls]

Leona Kingscholar Shared Lines

Tutorial: Hey, time to go. Follow me.

Level Up 1: Feels nice gettin' tributes.

Level Up 2: This ain't bad... But it's not nearly enough.

Level Up 3: Gaining more power never hurts.

Level Max: Hah, I feel as though everything is now in my grasp. If you're going to keep working hard for me like this, I guess I can throw you a bone.

Vignette Level Up: Never thought I'd be up to hangin' with a herbivore... But this is getting pretty interesting. As long as you don't cause me any issues, I'll keep lookin' after you.

Spell Level Up: You're probably the only one who actually would want to practice magic with me. Most people'll just tuck their tails and run away.

Friendship Level Up: I don’t like being constantly disturbed. So in that sense, this place is perfect and quiet.

Friendship Level Max: I don’t mind coming by this guest room once in a while. Make sure you have a place to nap and some food ready for me.

Uncapped: I can do it so long as I put my mind to it, ain't it obvious? I just don't want to.

Groovification: You want to see what I can really do? Heheh... A herbivore like you wouldn't nearly be ready to handle that.

Lesson Select 1: Hey you, sit in front of me. I'm gonna sleep behind you.

Lesson Select 2: It ain't that hard of a decision, is it? I'm tired of waitin' around.

Lesson Select 3: Time for a peaceful study time with everyone all buddy-buddy, huh. No thanks.

Lesson Start: Ugh, this sucks.

Lesson Finish: Yaaawn. That was a boring class, I already knew all that.

Battle Start: I can fight with more than just my fists and fangs.

Battle Won: Did you really think you could win against me?

GIFT CALENDAR 2023: “How will you be spending the day?” No plans worth mentioning. What, not what you were expecting? Well, too bad. The campus is completely covered in snow, so the best thing for me to do is just to get back to my dorm room and relax while solving some chess problems.

Birthday Story 1: My birthday isn’t anything special. It’s just the day I was born. …Well if you’re really saying you want to celebrate it, I won’t forcibly stop you. Presents are always welcome.

Birthday Story 2: What’d you want? …Ah, you came to celebrate my birthday. Then, I guess I’ll have you grill some meat for me, or something. You’ll have to make it exactly the way I want it. You said you wanted to celebrate me, right? I’ll let you keep trying until you get it down pat. I look forward to see how much I get to eat.

Birthday Story 3: So, you came to wish me a happy birthday, huh? Well, ain’t that admirable of you. So, what did you bring me, then? At the very least, you are presenting a gift to royalty. As such, I’m sure you’ve prepared a very fine gift. …Hey, don’t freeze up on me. Sheesh, jokes just fly over your head, huh. I’ll take it off your hands, so show me what you got behind your back, already.

Birthday Story 4: …Ugh. As I’m sure you can tell, I’m in the middle of a nap. If you need something from me, ask me later. If you just wanted to celebrate my birthday, a card woulda been plenty… But, fine. Here, hand it over. [Yuu startles] Whaddya mean, hand what over? …Obviously, I’m talking about my gift. I’m expecting it to be something good to make up for the rude awakening.

Requested by Anonymous.

[cerise-on-top]

Hiya! I was wondering if you could do TF141 with a S/O that is a clown who does ballon art? I think it would be silly and fun -🐍

Hey there! Sure I can!

TF141 with a Clown!S/O

Price: I think he’d be impressed with you. It’s not every day you find someone, whose purpose at his job is to entertain people like that. He’s a captain, he’s meant to be serious at all times, so there’s not much room to joke around for him. He probably would try to visit you here and there, provided you don’t work at birthday parties. But a circus? Or maybe just on stage? Yeah, he’d try to see you here and there, if he can. He’d probably be more than happy to accept a balloon animal from you. I think he’d be very happy to receive something along the lines of a turtle or tortoise. It seems very impressive to him. While I do believe he’d love to engage with you as part of the audience if your work permits it, he would leave you alone if you seem a little overworked. While he can appreciate a good joke or two from you, he won’t force you to be funny around him. If all you do after work is cuddle up to him and seek his comfort, he’s happy. He’s not the funniest person out there, but if you ask him his opinion he’ll try to come up with a nice routine for you.

Gaz: Oh, he loves it. Ever since he was little he loved clowns. He always thought them to be a nice source of entertainment. He’d totally support you being a clown and would also try to come to your shows, if possible. Although he’d hate to distract you during work, he’d probably make some jokes here and there to help get your audience laughing. He can be very funny since he’s so sassy, so there’s a good chance the two of your work well together. He’s in love with your balloon art. In fact, I do believe he’d ask you about how you do it and learn from the resident expert. Yes, that includes him blowing up his own balloons and trying to contort them into animals and whatnot. Though, be prepared, the first thing he makes for you is a balloon dick. He can be unserious too at times and will laugh if you roll your eyes at him. He probably would try to help mend your costume if it got torn somehow. And he would also try to keep it clean since he’s a big fan of it. I think that, at the end of the day, he’d love to try and make you laugh as well, whether it be by telling you a joke, making up his own routine, or otherwise.

Ghost: Not a big fan of clowns. At all. He thinks they’re super scary and untrustworthy to have around. What are they smiling about? The state of the world? Yeah, he’s not too happy about you being a clown. But then again, there’s a good chance you’re not happy with him being a military man either, so he sucks it up. He’d be hesitant to go to one of your shows since there’s a good chance there are other clowns there as well, who wish for him to participate in their tomfoolery. No thank you. You’d need to give him a good reason to go, such as paying for the ordered food or giving him free tickets to your show. But once you’re home? He’s gonna pretend to have come up with some good jokes for you to use. None of them are child friendly. You’ve heard his jokes in the “Alone” mission. And yes, he will insist on you using the most fucked up jokes you’ve heard in your life. “Why did the noodle kill itself? Because it was torte-lonely.” And yes, he does laugh at his own jokes from time to time as well. He’s a comedy genius in his eyes and he genuinely does not understand why you’re so disturbed by his humor.

Soap: He loves you, so he loves you being a clown as well. He adores your bright and colorful costume. In fact, if you’re somewhat of a similar size he’ll ask you if he can wear it as well. He can be a rather silly man, so he’d love to be silly alongside you. I think he’d try to impress you by making a few balloon animals of his own in secret and showing them to you when you least expect it. He wants you to look at him and go “Wow, Johnny, you’re so cool and epic and handsome and I love you!” It strokes his ego. Will go to your shows if he can and actively participate. He’s not the funniest person either, but he tries to go along with your slapstick humor. I think he’d probably leave after your show, just to come back a few minutes later and participate again. Yes, he will actively flirt with you and see if he can stun you into silence. Will also make a few dirty jokes, for which you have to silence him afterwards. It’s all in good fun until you hit him with the squeaky hammer. Will pretend that you hate him after you’ve hit him with it. But will still dote on you when you’re home.

[beesspacedotorg]

bbeebeeeeebebebeeee what abt the convo we’re having rn…. a lovely wonderful date with your sweetie hybrid boyfriends linocat and binnierabbit

Hey bro happy birthday. It's still your birthday where I live, so please accept this gift. Thank you for being my friend !! I hope this year around the sun treats you well. I also hope skz comes to (redacted for privacy) so we can meet up. @cbini

There's no smut in this because uhm. Because. But there are sex jokes because I'm me.

You love your boyfriends very much. When they started living with you, everyone called you insane. They asked why you would have a cat hybrid and a rabbit hybrid at the same time. Rabbits can be messy and cats cause problems on purpose they had said. Rabbits are just cats with longer ears and curled tails they had said. You’re signing yourself up for trouble they had said. You had waved your hand in dismissal, pointing at your boys and how much they loved each other and went about your business. Looking at them now, you’re starting to wish you hadn’t brushed off their concerns.

They took you to a restaurant, a nice fancy one, to celebrate. They’d told you to get a little dressed up, so you had, and they’d shown up with their slightly dressy attire and you drooled a little and Changbin had to wipe it off your chin. They’d taken pictures with you, nice aesthetic ones in the low light of the dining area, Minho’s glass of wine temporarily acting as a prop. Minho had made a salacious joke about licking wine off of your body and Changbin had kicked him in the shin. Minho then accused him of being jealous and offered to lick wine off of his body, too. It made the younger flush and shout indignantly.

All in all, the night had gone well. Your boys were handsome and polite to the waitstaff, they’d taken turns making you flush with love and something else, and they’d both made promises about what awaited you at home. The problem only started when they’d gotten their food.

You’ve seen them eat before, you know they have slightly weird eating habits brought on by them being alive or their hybrid genes or something, but it didn’t click in your mind that they would do it at restaurants, too. It had been seconds after Changbin had gotten his plate of pasta, the waiter barely away from the table, that he flipped it over onto the table cloth and started to eat it that way. You stared at him for a minute, mouth opening and closing like a fish as you tried to come up with something to say.

“Was there something wrong with the plate?” You asked, staring at the mess he was making of the table.

“Too small. The vibes were bad,” he said simply. You blinked a couple times at him before turning your attention to Minho when you heard a choking noise.

“Oh, Jesus, this is why you need to slow down when you eat.” You hand him a water and a napkin, praying he doesn’t upchuck all over the table.

“What if it runs away?” He says, staring at you. You watch his ears twitch on his head, listening to the sounds of the waitstaff milling about and the chatter of the other customers.

“Where the fuck is it gonna go?” You point at the food he’s practically inhaled, “It’s dead.”

“You never know,” is what he gives you. You sigh, looking up towards the ceiling before hanging your head in defeat. You start to eat your own food, and outside of their initial outbursts, things seem to be going fine. That is, until Binnie’s ears stand tall above his head and his nose twitches, leg thumping under the table,

“Stop that,” he says, glaring daggers at Minho.

“Stop what? I’m not doing anything.” Minho has a shit eating smirk on his face. He is most definitely doing something.

“What’s that noise then?”

“What noise? Are you hallucinating, Changbinnie? Should we take you to see someone?” Minho fakes concern and you hear the soft little growl that comes out of Changbin.

“Two can play this game, hyung.” You’re suddenly worried for the state of the restaurant.

“What if none played this game? Wouldn’t that be nice?” Your pleas go ignored.

“And what exactly are you planning on doing?” Minho is leaning across the table now, shoving the pretty centerpiece out of the way so he can get closer to Changbin and it’s not too long after that you hear a chirp. Minho’s ears twitch and his pupils widen before he shakes his head and glares.

“Low blow, Seo Changbin.”

“And playing frequencies only I can hear isn’t?”

“You’re just a sore loser.”

“Loser? I haven’t lost anything.” You sigh when you hear Changbin’s voice start to rise, quickly calling for the tab.

“I’m so sorry,” is what you say to the waiter after he comes back, gesturing to the mess your boyfriends made of the table and the way they’re almost wrestling right now. You tip him well, it's the least you can do.

When you get your card back you stand up, grabbing your things and hauling your boyfriends out of their seats by the collars of their shirts. If you were meaner, you’d pinch their ears between your fingers for causing a ruckus, but you aren’t, so you don’t.

Changbin’s ears hang droopily when you get outside, and he hugs your arm tightly.

“Did we make you upset?” You turn your head to look at him and his eyes are as wide as the moon. You think of that tweet, I’m not arguing with a man who has pretty brown eyes. Whatever you say, beautiful. You sigh and pet the velveteen fur of his ears softly.

“A little bit, but, I’ll get over it.” Minho plasters himself to your other side, and when you turn to look at him, his ears are pinned down.

“Ah, I’m sorry, jagiya. I just wanted to have a little fun.” Changbin punches him in the shoulder and he winces.

“Like I said, I’ll get over it.” You start trying to walk to the car, but it’s easier said than done with the two of them hanging off of you like this. You see their heads move a bit out of your peripheral vision before Minho makes an affirming little hum and you’re being half-carried half-dragged down the sidewalk.

“You’ll get over it faster if you have help,” Minho says, and Changbin nods, long ears flopping around.

“Exactly. We have to apologize to our sweetie.” You squint at them. It’s never good when they both agree on something.

“What are you going to do?” Changbin opens your car door and nudges you gently until you’re all the way in.

“Have you ever been to Paris?” Minho asks, buckling himself into the backseat.

“I was thinking about seeing the Eiffel Tower,” Changbin finishes, sliding the key into the ignition. You snort at the joke, rolling your eyes.

“I think a little tourism would be nice.” Changbin smiles at you, nose scrunching slightly, and rests a hand on your thigh.

“Good. We were thinking the same thing.”

[femaleheroes]

Happy Birthday!! :)

[cordiallyfuturedwight]

you can't stop me lovin' myself ♡ for @kimtaegis

[yooboobies]

angel sunshine for an angel sunshine | for @huhfeatjhope

[rjshope]

Seokjin birthday live | 191204 (aka the one with him looking so effortlessly gorgeous)

for @jinstronaut✨

+ bonus: his dongsaengs love language

[magicshop]

his smile could cure the world ♡ [for @morshiberna ♡]

cr. 0613data

[fireworksgalaxy]

happy birthday, @cosmicdreamgrl 💜💕!!

[gentlebeard]

Wake up in the morning feelin’ like Stede Bonnet // The party still won't stop on The Revenge

For @bizarrelittlemew 💕 Show: Our Flag Means Death - Season 2 Music: TiK Tok by Kesha YouTube || Season 1 Version

[lootsofathousandsworld]

Thank you guys so much for birthday wishes yesterday! You folks are awesome! ☺️🫂 ✨

One of the birthday presents I gotten is two of Disney cook books and I’m impressed how the foods are exact same animated 👏🏻👏🏻

Also bonus:

I discovered what kind of cake B.E.N made at the end of Treasure planet 😂 👏🏻

✨It’s B.E.N’s special!✨ 👏🏻👏🏻

One more thing:

Captain Flint is that you?! 😂❤️

[ask-shane]

It's my birthday today :D

happy birthday luigi.

i got you some gifts. i would've mailed 'em, but i bumped into you here, so i figured why not just give them to you now?

[sisididis]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @reallunargift!

Guess who's using his last cents after a night out to wish you a very happy birthday? I hope you're leaning in extra close, because Port has to make himself heard over the pimba playing in the background!

[mdemn]

me rn if u care

[satans-knitwear]

You do not understand. I have Got to be So Cosy.

Treat me ~ Tip me