#And one of my oldest friendships ended with them telling me they didn't want to see me anymore suddenly

[enby-soup-computer]

I got saddled with the "gifted" status in... 1st grade I think? And for me personally, it rarely actually helped (though there were a couple weekend classes that were actually kinda fun in grade school, but honestly, those should've been an option for anyone who wanted to go), but rather set up a level of expectations that would cause me to burn out, hard, multiple times in middle and high school.

Y'all ever heard the "if only you applied yourself" bit? Yeah, me to! Constantly. If I was not getting an A in all subjects, I'd be "we're not mad, but we know you can do better". Then! Years later! When I'm finally making some progress in letting myself do less than perfect without a terrible level of guilt, I get diagnosed with ADHD, and guess what! My Mother Knew And Didn't Tell Me. Like that wouldn't fuck some serious shit up for me.

Anyway, yeah. "gifted".

ohhhhh I get it now. the "gifted kid" discourse exists because people see it fundamentally as a sign of Privilege and not as a largely meaningless category that puffs up weird children before setting them up for the same unremarkable lives as everyone else; thus they interpret people going "the educational system gave me false expectations before ultimately abandoning me to the same heartless world as everyone else" as "why am I, The Main Character, not getting everything I ever wanted."

[omgeto]

☆ SNEAKY LINK — dad's best friend!TOJI FUSHIGURO

summary: your dad didn't even need to tell you that his best friend was off limits, but you just couldn't help yourself. and on another visit home from university, he's the first person you get your hands on.

wc: 4.2k. (major slay from me)

cw: afab!reader, semi public sex, you fuck in a car, outside, he fingers you at the table, and eats you out in your childhood room <33 slight breeding kink, + your dad is clueless poor man so MDNI

an: was s'posed to write this yesterday but it didn't show up in the tags, so hopefully you guys can see this now and give it some love. never really done long smut before so give it a chance people!! fanks @kazushawty for beta'ing some, this is for you

there was always something about your dad’s best friend, toji fushiguro, that you just couldn’t ignore. your dad had loads of friends throughout the years, and you never batted an eyelid. so when your dad brought toji to dinner for the first time, you couldn’t just disregard the way he looked, more importantly how he looked at you—making you end up sucking his dick in the bathroom of your family home, before dessert was even served.

you were away at university, making your little ‘relationship’ with toji a fleeting one, but best believe whenever you touched your home city, toji always found a way to touch you. “so you manage to find y’self a boyfriend, up at that fancy uni of yours?” toji asks, a sly grin playing on his lips, as he starts the car, pulling out of the train station parking lot.

“no, none of them are to my taste,” you respond shortly, trying to keep your composure, and maintain your focus on anything but him. you knew why he was asking, just so he could feel his pride swell when you say no. since he was always quick to remind you whenever you fucked that after being with him you woulnd’t want a dumb little college boy—and he was right.

“aww that's too bad,” he mocks, his hand easing its way onto your thigh as if it’s nothing, “a pretty thing like you, should be basking in boys.” you roll your eyes at his teasing, but you can’t ignore the slight quickening of your heart as his hand gives your thigh a light squeeze.

you both pretend as if you aren’t fucking eachother anytime your dad was around, it was easier to keep up the facade that way. neither of you wanted to hurt your dad, toji actually enjoyed his friendship and would never want to hurt his ‘oh so precious daughter.’’ but when he pictures how your tits bounce and how your ass shakes whenever he drives his dick into you, he was okay with losing a friendship if that meant he could continue to fuck you.

the rest of the ride was a comfortable silence, there was no more small talk, just the faded hum of the radio and your thoughts racing as toji’s hand remains on you. you were finally parked in the driveway of your home, “thanks for the ride home fushiguro,” you mumble, ready to leave his car. 

“fushiguro? were you not calling me toji last time you saw me?” he questions puzzled, his hand laying on your arm — stopping you from exiting the car, as his mouth comes up to your ear, “ whilst i was stuffing you full with my dick?”

“can we not do this here?” you grit out, trying not to react to the feeling of his touch, you look around the driveway and see your dads car parked right in front of toji’s. “my dad’s home.”

“so?” he shrugs, tugging against your clothes, “c’mon you know you wanna give me a little something before i leave.” you roll your eyes, reminding yourself that you shouldn’t be fucking your dad’s oldest friend — especially not when he’s only ten metres away. but the look that toji gives you, the lustful glint in his eyes, and the way his thick fingers toy with the hem of your jeans, you just couldn’t say no.

“make it quick,” you whisper, looking around your surroundings before pouncing on toji. the windows of his car weren’t tinted, but your neighbourhood is a quiet one, so as long he fucked you swiftly, you shouldn’t get caught.

“i don’t know why you’ve got this pouty look on your face,” he smirks, watching as you eagerly get yourself out of jeans, not fully, but just enough so that you could slide right onto his dick. “you want this just as bad as i do, don’t you?”

you didn’t bother responding, letting the way your pussy clenches around his throbbing member, be the answer to his question. there's a shared moan between you, with toji throwing his head back onto the headrest as he watches you ride him. his hands grip onto your ass, aiding you in bouncing up and down on his dick.

“c’mere,” he murmurs, his hand moving up off of your ass to lightly grip your chin as he directs your mouth to his. he kisses you sensually, the slow pace matching the rhythm of your ass grinding against him. your arms snake their way around his neck, your hands stroking the hair that falls just above his nape. 

“f-fuck,” you moan against his mouth, your boobs press against his chest as he thrust into you deeper. he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, suppressing your increasing screams, as his hips dig into your ass further. 

“y’better quiet down princess,” he mocks, pressing a quick peck to your lips, his smirk growing wider as he watches you chase his mouth, whimpering to have more of him. “you don’t want your daddy to hear us and come outside d’ya?”

“‘don’t care,” you whine, rutting your hips down against him, wanting him to stuff you full, to fuck you hard, not caring about who hears or sees you.

“oh you don’t care do you?” he continues to taunt, his fingers roaming across your chest — toying with the buttons of your shirt. and as you nod to his question, your pussy clenching down around his dick achingly, he grins, “get out of the car.”

“what?” you pause, trying to register if you’ve heard him correctly.

“you heard me,” he shrugs, his hands going to your hips to take you off your dick, “get out of the car, and lean right up against the hood for me.”

“you’re joking right?” you scoff, staring at him in shock, but his gaze is locked with yours without faltering, oh he was serious alright. “but what about my da—”

“what about him? you didn’t care about him seeing us a second again when you were slutting yourself out on my dick did you,” he continues to taunt, his thumb rubbing against your aching clit, toying with the folds of your soaking pussy — persuading you. “now i'm not gonna tell you again, get rid of the jeans fully and lean against the hood of my car.”��

he didn’t have to say anything else after that, the way he was playing with your pussy reminded you of what need. so you quickly get rid of your jeans, and get out of his car, a giggle escaping your lips as toji’s hand collides with your ass. 

you lean against the hood of his car, your arms stretching against it in excitement as toji comes behind you, palming your ass before stroking the slit of your pussy with his dick. he doesn’t even give you time to breathe before shoving himself back inside of you. his hand coming to the back of your neck to push you down, as he charges his dick back inside of you. 

“you like that?” he grins, as he drives into you deeper, the squelching of your dripping pussy around his dick, music to his ears. you nod, eagerly, too dick drunk to formulate a sentence —content in just rocking your ass back against his hips ready for him to cum inside of you.

“t-toji ‘m so close,” you whine, begging for that final push so you could reach your peak, “please j-just let me cum, i-i need to cum.”

“i’ll let you cu—”

“toji buddy! is that you?” you both pause, frozen in place as you hear your dads voice from the inside. you scramble apart from one another, toji pushing you off his dick and zipping up his pants, trying to regain his composure as he catches his breath. you dive back into your seats, aggressively shimmying into your jeans, panicked. ‘fuck toji for making me take these all the way off,’ you think to yourself, as you awkwardly pull your jeans up. you check the rear view mirror, to try and not look freshly fucked as your father nears the car.

“dad!” you exclaim, giving your father a hug and sending a quit look to toji that reads ‘shut the fuck up.’ your dad returns your hug with a tight squeeze.

“hey sweetheart, was toji here giving you a ride from the station?” he asks, a joyful smile on his face

“yeah i was giving her a ride alright,” toji mutters, his innuendo going straight over your fathers head as he looks back and forth between you, clueless. “she was showing me all the new things she’s learnt at uni, and boy has your daughter learnt a lot.” he flashes you a wink, that your dad misses, and you quickly glare at him in response.

“oh she’s a smart one isn’t she?” you dad boasts, practically parading you off and toji nods in response thinking to himself, ‘if only you could see how dumb she gets filled with my cum.’ 

you swiftly exit the space between your father and his friend, hoping that toji just leaves, although you didn’t get to finish, nearly being caught by your dad, panicked you. you give toji a brisk nod as a goodbye, as you grab your bags out of the car but you pause as you hear your dad ask him, “so, are you staying for dinner?” it was going to be a long night.

you spent the rest of the evening avoiding both your dad and toji, you couldn’t trust yourself to be around both of them without letting something slip. toji had just as much to lose, if your dad did find out about your activities, but that didn’t stop him from giving sly comments and looks just to see your scared, flushed face whenever you thought he was going to say something about it. 

when dinner starts you knew you were going to fold, fast. toji was sitting next to you, but his gaze was fixed on you with a teasing glint in his eyes. his mouth drops to your ear as he whispers, “doesn’t this remind you of when we first met? you teasing me all night before dropping on your knees for me in the bathroom upstairs.”

“what are you two gossiping about over there?” your dad asks as he enters the room with your food, and you immediately tense up hearing his voice, shifting away from toji to not give yourself away.

“oh i was just reminding her about when we first met at dinner all those years ago,” toji responded quickly, his composure kept cool as if he wasn’t just talking about you sucking his dick minutes ago. “a lot has changed since then.”

“yeah, my baby has really grown up and matured since then, haven't you?” your dad coos at you and you give toji a subtle elbow to his stomach under the table. but toji just can’t let up, enjoying your jumpy vibe a bit too much.

he nods in agreement with your dad, “yeah she’s really become a woman, right under our eyes.” he taunts, and only you knew that he was referring to how he felt that your body was built just for him. toji loved every inch of you, your face, tits and ass was a complete package that he just couldn’t get enough of. 

unbeknownst to your dad, toji’s hand slips underneath the table and right into your pants. your eyes cut towards his, and he the subtle raise of his eyebrow tells you he’s not gonna stop —and you weren’t planning on trying to stop him. 

you open your legs wider, to grant him further access, smiling along at your dad as he cluelessly babbles on to the both of you. toji was both attentive to the conversation and to your pussy. to anyone else it wouldn’t look like his fingers were curling up inside of you, your cunt coating his fingers as he slowly drives them into you.

as dinner continues, your hands remain clenched on your cutlery as you try and distract yourself from the growing feeling you were getting as toji rubs your pussy. he was casual about it too, laughing and joking with your dad as if his fingers weren’t getting drenched.

you were trying so hard to not ride his fingers in your seat, to not let your father see you getting slutted out by his best friend right in front of him. the thickness of his fingers were stretching your pussy wider, and his pace was achingly slow, to sensual for the burning desire you’ve been craving for him all day. but there is nothing you can do, and toji knew tha. the slight smirk on his face and spark in his eye was telling to the fact that he was aware of how badly you need him, and was amused by the needy little look on your face that you poorly try to mask.

“so how’s that boyfriend of yours?” your dad asks you, his question snapping you out of your dazed state. you choke slightly on your drink since you didn’t actually have a boyfriend but you couldn’t exactly tell him about the special guy you are seeing.

“h-he’s…great,” you respond, your voice faltering as you could feel toji’s eyes burning a hole in your head. his fingers pinch against your clit, punishingly and your eyes bounce between your father and him.

“we should have him over for dinner soon,” your dad suggests excitedly, “so we can all meet him.”

“yeah sure dad,” you lie, hoping that is enough to appease your father. but it definitely didn’t appease toji, he swiftly removes his fingers out of your pants, and he sends your a glare when your father wasn’t looking before going back to eating his food—with both hands.

dinner was a silent affair after that exchange, there were no more subtle sly comments from toji and your dad had worn out all the possible stories he could share about you. so you finish your meal in silence, your pussy still throbbing hard.

“that was a great meal as always,” toji compliments your dad, getting up out of his seat, “do you mind if i use the bathroom real quick before i head home?”

“yeah my home’s your home, do as you please,” your dad grins at him, “i’m gonna go and do these dishes, it was good seeing you,” your dad presses a kiss to your head and gives toji a handshake before heading to the kitchen.

with your dad now out of sight you could now see toji’s face and he was tense, to say the least. he was standing in the threshold of the door and all it took was the raising of his eyebrows and a shake of his head for you to know that he wanted your ass upstairs with him quick.

he led you to your childhood bedroom and he was already toying with the posters of random anime that you had plastered all over your walls, “cute.”

“toji i thought we agreed to not do this in the house anymore?” is the first thing you ask. after you first met and made a mess of your household bathroom, you both agreed that it would be easier if you just didn’t fuck in your house anymore to save the chance of your dad catching on. but it seems after today, toji couldn’t care less.

“a boyfriend huh,” he spits out with a bitter chuckle, turning to look at you, “what happened to ‘none of those boys are to my taste.’” 

“they aren’t,” you persist, folding your arms childishly as you try and get your point across. he doesn’t even respond, just raising his eyebrow at you in disbelief, thinking about your conversation with your father. “do you really think i could tell my dad about the real guy i’ve been fucking all this time? ”

he shrugs in response, his anger settling a bit in knowing now that you didn't actually have a boyfriend. “i didn’t peg you as a jealous type, in case you forgot, you’re the family friend not my boyfriend. so if i was to actually let one of these college guys date me, that’ll be okay.”

“oh it would be okay would it?” he mocks, stepping closer to you, “so i’m just this family friend, not the guy you slut yourself out for whenever you see me?” you couldn’t deny that, so you remain quiet, your heart pulsing as toji nears you. 

he grabs your hand and shoves it right down his pants so you could feel his throbbing dick, “y’know i’ve been hard for you all day, after your clueless dad had to ruin our fun earlier i’ve bursting to cum,” his dick pulses in your hold, emphasising his point, “and now it turns out that all i am to you is just a family friend, damn.”

“i didn’t mean it in that way,” you say, slightly regretting your choice of words, “i just think it’s a bit silly of you to be getting wound up, at your big age, over some hypothetical boyfriend when all we do is fuck.”

“at my big age? the fuck, im not even that ol—” he stops himself because he knows he could say whole lot that could have you crying quick. “i’m gonna let you have your little outburst here, but i did not drag you upstairs for this.”

“and what did you drag me up here for then?” you quiz, his dick still feeling the warmth of your hand. his arm snakes around your waist as he presses you close, your tits rubbing right against his chest. 

“well y’know i’ve been dying to fuck you in your bedroom,” he murmurs, he leads you over to your bed, chuckling as he pushes you down next to your stuffed animals, and childish shit that you’ve kept. he pulls down your jeans as he kneels down at the edge of your bed, a wide grin etched across his face, “i’ve been wanting to keep you out of these all fucking day,” he says as he flings your jeans across the room. 

“don’t forget your dad’s downstairs and we can’t let him ruin what we’ve got going on can we?” he pulls your down the bed so your pussy’s closer to your face, he snaps off your underwear and peppers a kiss onto your clit. you hiss at the contact of his mouth on you, and his eyes look up at you, “so you can be quiet for me, right?”

you nod eagerly, clenching your eyes as his mouth suctions onto your clit, biting and nibbling at it. you hold your lip between your teeth to keep yourself quiet, already gripping onto his hair to steady yourself. he’s barely done anything yet and he’s already got you losing your mind.

he drags his tongue down your wet slit, lapping up the sweetness from your pussy. you sigh harder, the grip on his hair only getting tighter the more his mouth works on your cunt. toji laughs as he taunts, “‘you’re just a family friend toji,’ yeah seems like it.” 

“s-shut up,” you pant out, clenching your thighs around his head as tongue inches deeper and deeper into your pussy, his nose pushed right into your arousal, breathing in every bit of you. “y-you are just a family friend.”

“whatever,” he smirks, watching as your mouth part as he plunges his fingers into you. he keeps his mouth on your clit, as two of his fingers piston in and out of you. you can’t help but thrust your hips up in his direction, aching to feel him deeper. 

“toji w-what are you—” you start to ask as he pulls his fingers out of you, just before you cum. 

he grins in response, popping one of his fingers in his mouth before saying, “you’re just too sweet y’know? come on taste yourself.” and before you can even respond properly, you were already sucking on his finger, smiling as he coos, “see how tasty you are?” 

he rids himself of his jogging bottoms, his dick springing out of them, hard and throbbing. “my balls have been aching to bust inside of you all day,” he complains, as he mounts you, your legs instinctively wrapping around his back, your arms snaking behind his neck. “but you’d like that wouldn’t you?”

“yeah please toji,” you whine, desperate for him to get his dick inside of your dripping pussy, “cum in me please, i just need you.”

“want me to cum in you yeah?” he smirks, as you shake your head, your hand moving down to his dick but he slaps it away, continuing to tease you, “gonna let me put a baby in you, right?”

“anything you want, just please.” you say, clawing at his back. but that’s all he needs to hear, as he shoves his dick into you with all his force, your eyes widening at the feeling. but as he quickly sets into a rhythm, you can’t help but moan out as his dick drives into you hitting the right spot, every single time.

he puts his mouth on yours to silence you, pecking your lips with kisses as he says, “you know you gotta be quiet for me princess, can’t have your dad hearing how im fucking my kids into you.”

“s-sorry i just c-can’t take it,” you apologise, your eyes rolling back as his lips move down from yours onto your neck. bruising and biting at it, with his teeth.

“oh but you can take it” he praises, “your pussy takes me so well, always such a good girl for me.” he bites back down on your neck harder, as you clench around him, the throbbing of his dick partnered with the gushing tightness of your pussy had him getting sloppier and sloppier with every stroke. 

toji’s hand slaps down on your clit, making you slightly jump up against his dick as it continues to charge into you. he tugs at your clit before swirling it and pressing down on it with his thumb. loving the way you gasp at the contact, scratching at him as your pleasure grows.

“f-fuck toji, please, i need to feel your cum,” you beg, and he presses his forehead against yours, as your hold around his back and neck become stronger. his dick ploughing into you with his unforgiving pace was becoming too much for you to handle, you wanted to feel his load deep inside of you. “lemme have it.”

“i-i’ll give it to you princess dont worry,” he reassures, stammering slightly as he could feel himself going to bust. this was his favourite sight of you, all fucked out under him, your eyes practically springing with tears as you beg him to finish inside you. it was only an added bonus that you were doing this on your fluffy pink sheets, literally right under your dad’s nose. “you’re such a naughty girl for this. what would your dad say if he could see you now?” he continues to tease.

“i don’t care what he’d say. i am a n-naughty girl. i wanna be your naughty girl.”

“yeah you are, you’re absolutely filthy,” he jeers, giving you his last thrusts before saying, “fucking taking in the cum of your dads best friend, begging to bred. not very ladylike if i do say so myself.”

“t-toji please,” you call out, fed up with his teasing. and he laughs before taking your mouth into his biting on your lip hard as he releases into you, plastering your pussy walls with all his cum. you do the same, your cum mixing with his as you release onto his dick. he slumps his body over yours, pressing kisses to your faces, satisfied as he thrusts his dick into you further to try and ensure his cum doesn’t slip out.

“ah, if only i could stay here for the night, i’d keep you plugged up with my cum and really get you pregnant,” he jokes, finally pulling out of you, amazed by how cum of his and yours ran down your thighs and pooled onto your bedsheets. 

“want you to stay,” you mewl, your arm stretching, reaching out for him.

“no can do princess,” he sighs, he actually wants to stay with you too, there’s nothing better then ending the night freshly fucked with his dick cushioned by your pussy all night as he sleeps. he presses a final kiss to your head, and grabs some wipes to get rid off the cum stuck to your legs, before leaving the room as he promises, “next time we’ll do it at my place, yeah?”

AN: So what do you think of dads best friend!toji 🧍🏽‍♀️ this was meant to be apart of a broader part of the sneaky link smut but then a little drabble turned into a full fic. BUT THIS ACTUALLY MADE ME NERVOUS TO POST SINCE IM STILL NOT FEELING MY SMUT SKILLS YET. But it shall come with practice.so yeah lemme know ur thoughts

[souryam]

I've always been bothered by the analysis that Lily didn't care about Severus. Not only because I love their friendship and ship them together, and also because I think it cheapens the relationship as a whole and makes things fall a bit flat. I do understand where people are coming from tho. She does defend James to him, and is implied to be physically attracted to him even while being friends with Severus (I disagree with her already having a full blown crush, but I do think she found him handsome), also she's pretty emotionless when he's trying to apologize, which leads people to believe she was only looking for an excuse to ditch him. Which I strongly disagree.

First off, I don't think they would've lasted that long if she didn't love him a lot (as a friend or as a crush that's your pick). Their friendship lasted 6 years, and JKR confirmed that a huge motivation for James, personally, bullying Severus was jealousy she felt of Lily's attention and affection, he saw Snape as a threat. Potter watched Lily all the time, hit on her all the time. Lily is described to have a temper. It is almost impossible to me to believe that James wouldn't have noticed that Lily was bothered by Snape and outright wanted him gone from her life, therefore rendering his motive for the bullying flat. We see he is even more cruel when Lily stands up for Severus, mocking him further (as we see on the train scene in Prince's Tale and in SWM), exactly because he believed that they both liked each other (romantically or platonically)

Also, a scene that sticks out to me is the one in DH when Lily is insisting for Severus to stop hanging out with Avery and Mulciber. If she was just looking for an excuse, wouldn't she have given the ultimatum then and there? She clearly didn't like them, thought they were cruel, and they hurt Mary, which is implied to be an acquaintance if not a friend of hers. Why stay as long as she did, "making excuses" for him to her friends as she says, if she didn't want the friendship anymore? Her lack of emotion when he's apologizing can be easily explained away by how angry she is. That scene didn't happen after days or weeks from SWM, it happened in the same day and she clearly didn't want to speak to him in the moment, it being the only scene in which he demanded her attention in a sense. In Lily's POV, that was this friend she had for almost a decade, her oldest friend, who had just turned on her for no reason, when she was trying to help him. A lot of people ignore how bad Severus is at expressing his feelings and telling her hard things about his life (as seen in him using euphemisms for his father's behaviour when we know that he was being brutally whipped), so it's very possible that he wasn't transparent with her about his insecurities or how bad the marauders' bullying affected him, so she never thought much of it. Might be a little insensitive, but hey, she was a 15 yo. It always seemed to me that he presented himself way more as a shoulder for her to cry on than the opposite.

Also, the memories that were given to Harry were not meant to show the pretty moments of their friendship, at least not in my interpretation. Yes, it had some cute moments to make clear to Harry that they were friends, but to me it was way more about showing Harry the conflict of Snape's life from the start, the Dark Arts and the DEs, which he was very tempted and interested by, and the Lily, who's a symbolism for Light in his life. She was the one pulling him away from them, warning him, and he wouldn't listen. That's why basically all their scenes have some sort of conflict. To show Harry how his entire life, he was in between those two sides being pulled back and forth, and when Lily's pull was gone, he headed straight in to the Dark Arts, and ofc, that didn't end well at all.

This got super long for no reason and it's prob very badly written but it was mostly a word vomit lmao I just rlly like them and yes they had their problems but most friendships do :( they would've worked it out in another universe...

[kasienda]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

Look Kayla! I can't answer this question! It's hard! How would YOU answer this question?! (Did you already answer it? I'm going to go look. You probably did). It's just so hard to narrow it down to five at this point. I have like 40+ stories! I don't even remember them all without having to go an look at the list myself! And the other struggle is that I have two different kinds of favorites. I have the stories that I think are examples of my best writing. And stories that are like warm blankets - the fics that I wrote that I find comfort in and end up rereading them myself constantly. I'm going to limit myself to the comfort ones here because I feel like I self rec the same three stories constantly as my best writing.

Rings True - Post Season Five Fallout. I like to make characters hash things out. I like communication! And this one, I made it worse before I made it better and for awhile I had NO IDEA how to fix it, but when it came together I really really liked it. And there's something so satisfying about coming back to it again and again myself. Love Square.

Spin the Bottle - OT4 - core four shennanigans. I had SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS ONE and I like to think it's true to each of them. And I have so much fun rereading it. Like it always makes me smile!

Love Remains - I have no idea where this story came from to this day. But I like to flip tropes on their head just a little bit and I think I did that so well with this one. It sits with me. I think the geography lesson is one of my favorite scenes, as is the scene where he tries to tell her but she keeps interrupting. There's just so much here with identity formation and self acceptance that I don't always write, and it stands out to me for whatever reason. Love Square.

Would Trust You With Everything - this is my comfort fic. If I'm sad and want a hug, I read this fic. That's what it is to me. A Ninoir story.

Rocketear - this is the oldest fic on this list, but still one I come back to over and over again. Whenever I'm unhappy about missed platonic adrino potential - or am unhappy with how Nino or their friendship is characterized, or just when I finish an adrino fic that I loved and have no where else to go, I come back to this one to satisfy my cravings with my own work. platonic adrino

Thank you @coffeebanana for giving me the opportunity to talk about my stories. Love you and are lucky to call you friend!

(Psst! Aftermath, Right Behind You, and Restorative Justice are examples of my best writing if you somehow didn't already know that).

[undeadorion]

Conversations recently have reminded just how far I've come. Not just within myself but in my choice of friends. That I'm no longer so scared of being alone or being disliked that I'm strong enough to not immediately accept anyone who wants to talk to me as a friend. That I can protect myself against those who would do me harm.

It allows me the time and energy to actually enjoy the good people in my life. Because the bad would demand so much of my time and attention I had nothing left for the good ones. But the good ones make it easy to share my time with them all because I know I can just be myself around them. I just want to gather you up in my arms and give you a big hug.

I've been looking at some of the people I used to give my time to and I have zero regrets of cutting ties with any of them. Even if at the time it was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

There was Kat who insisted I was her absolute best friend that wasn't her in person best friend. Yet she would only talk to me if she had no one else to talk to. She barely acknowledged me in public and didn't involve me in anything ever. We broke things off when I'd been having an extremely rough night, like sobbing alone at my computer bad. She'd been out drinking that night and started talking at me. When I told her I was upset she told me I should smoke some weed about it. The next day when she was sober I told her that wasn't cool and she got pissed at me. I haven't spoken to her since.

There was Azura who collected people to be her emotional harem. I was the oldest in her personal server by like a decade, which made me uncomfortable already. But the youngest was like 11, which deeply concerned me. When there wasn't enough attention on her, she'd suddenly get upset and start implying she was having suicidal thoughts. I don't take those things lightly so I would be deeply worried about her. I had many late or sleepless nights trying to be there for her, talking her through things. But it got to a point that I could predict when she would start doing it even if she seemed perfectly fine in the moment. Then when I caused too much trouble, she kicked me out of the server. The trouble being I was upset that another person would pester me constantly in DMs after repeatedly telling her to not DM me. And she was constantly trying to force me into non-con roleplay scenarios that halfway through she would try to turn into some sort of weird fluffy romance. She said I wasn't saying "no" forcefully enough because she had ADHD. Azura took her side.

Then there was Beth. The last vestige of my poor choices. I only just cut her off about a month ago. She only really talked to me if she needed someone to compliment her art or if she needed someone to talk at. Another friend said our conversations read like I was trying to talk to an AI they were so weirdly one-sided. Funnily enough, Ghost was the pebble that started the avalanche that ended it all. I was trying harder to talk about stuff I liked in an attempt to make things less one-sided. She basically said "meh" and made the conversation super serious about her in a completely unrelated topic. When I voiced my frustrations about how she treated me, she had the fucking audacity of saying I was making the conversation about me. Which really proved we were only ever allowed to talk about her. And this was all after I'd given her a second chance. Previously we'd gone several months without talking because she'd wildly mis-interpreted my words and decided to hold me secretly responsible for what she decided I'd actually meant. She'd taken "Are you sure that's a good idea?" (context being: not waiting longer for something) and she assumed I meant "You're going to fail." She didn't actually TELL me this, she just didn't respond to me for several days. She already knew I refused to tolerate silent treatment bullshit.

I've been through dozens of "friendships" like this. Toxic beyond all reason. In a way it makes me angry that I allowed myself to be used in so many different ways. But these are old scars. They no longer actually hurt most of the time. They're just a reminder of the shit I've been through. And remembering them makes me so grateful for the amazing friends and people I know today.

Just remember that friends are supposed to lift you up. Not make you dread your chat app notification sound. If thinking about a friend doesn't make your heart feel warm, if you're the sort that gets feelings like that. Friends should make you feel like wrapping up in a cozy blanket on a cold day just thinking about them. They should feel like a cool autumn breeze after a long hot summer. They should make you feel like life is worth living.

If someone insists they're your friend, consider whether they make your life better just by existing in it. Because I promise you, people who claim to be friends who don't do that are not your friends. They're not worth the time they demand of you. Find people who will be a warm light (or comforting darkness if you're into that) instead of people who sink their claws into.

[sunnylands-world]

Draco Malfoy's masterlist

Welcome to my Draco Masterlist, readers, and I hope you like my fics! Header, banners, and dividers are all by me

Main masterlist

PART 2 HERE

REQUEST ARE ALWAYS OPEN 💚

You are responsible for your reading choices, please don't report my account or my work. If you are not aware of what smut content is it is usually content meant for 18+ readers, it is up to you what you read, I am not your parents!!

Do NOT write offense things in my comments or I will block you from this page and any account I find out is yours

A lot of my work is old so my writing did improve. it's organized from oldest to newest so that's a warning! if it's cringy sorry [I May Update Them]

After - FLUFF: You and draco make plans for what happens after...

It's okay - FLUFF: When Draco goes missing you run to find him and learn some other things about your best friend...

lies to your deceiving eyes - FLUFF : Draco didn't care much for Hogwarts or the people there that is until he runs into you...

Sick kisses - SMUT: being a deathly eater brings burdens and pain it's lucky you have each other to mend one another's broken pieces...

Choose - ANGST: You and draco are now married what could go wrong? Maybe the past could ruin the future...

muggle things - FLUFF: You and draco go on a trip to the muggle world...

Platinum blondes are superr long - SMUT : When you and pansy make a small joke someone takes it to heart and has to correct your mistake...

Someone bring him back - ANGST: Draco made a lot of mistakes so he tries to fix them but hurts you in the process..

My best friend - FLUFF: So many things happen in your friendship but your to oblivious to see the real big change...

PRETTY LITTLE SINNER - SMUT:

your is put in the room with draco who you secretly like and when you're with the person you like you do crazy things. What if he catches you though...

Punishment - SMUT:

Draco gave you an order and when you don't do what he says, well read and find out...

Feel better - SMUT:

Your insecure about your thighs but Draco knows how to make it better...

Kisses for a sick princess - FLUFF:

y/n on her period and what kinda boyfriend would Draco be if he didn't take care of you...

 

The taller one - FLUFF:

Having a tall boyfriend is great but your boyfriend is a tease and is very possessive when it comes to you even with your friends...

Draco inspired MOODBOARD

Draco MOODBOARD WITH TEXT

Trust me if not everyone else - FLUFF/ANGST:

You go to the yule ball with your best friend but maybe by the end your not friends...

Draco BOOK COVER

For you - ANGST/FLUFF:

So many things are unspoken between you and your foster brother...

For your actions - ANGST:

Draco couldn't complete his task and someone has to pay the price...

Embody - SMUT:

Your village has some rather strange beliefs...

Run away mommy - ANGST TO FLUFF:

When you find out your pregnant you make a run for it afraid of what Draco might say...

Draco SHORT TEXT 1

monster - ANGST:

Draco's not the same and when you got to his room you find out why...

Draco PHOTOSHOPS I MADE

If only you knew - FLUFF/ANGST:

Your sitting on the side watching your best friend love someone else. Maybe he doesn't really love HER...

And after - SMUT:

Draco's parents talk about you and him having kids and it catches Draco's attention...

His - ANGST:

Your taken by Voldemort and draco saves you Making you promise one thing...

I'm here for you sugar - FLUFF/ANGST:

Your Diabetic and make a small dangerous mistake when taking your injections...

Your language - FLUFF:

Your parents are in town and speak a different language so what is Draco gonna do...

Draco TEXT MESSAGE

what my girl wants, my girl gets - SMUT:

Your rather needy when it comes to Draco and who is he to deny you...

Draco TEXT 2

Fuck you - SMUT:

You despise Draco Malfoy and he doesn't like that...

If you were mine - FLUFF:

Draco's life is about to change forever but has to tell you how he feels before it does...

Draco's GIRL COLLAGE

Vampire DRACO COLLAGE

Nightmare - ANGST:

Draco has a really hard time after the wars but you'll always be there for him no matter what happens...

Overflow into my soul and stabs to a wound with no sewing close - FLUFF/ANGST:

It's all a big mess when it comes to you and draco Malfoy. One of you is in love then the roles switch. In the end someone will confess...

"Give yourself to me darling" he whispered in her ear - VAMPIRE SMUT:

Your life's simple you've met the man of your dreams and everything's perfect but everyone's got a secret or a flaw. what's his...

Vampire - SMUT:

Your with a vampire and you a human so things are a bit intense for you because of his lack of control when he's deep inside you...

RAIN BRINGS MORE THAN WET CLOTHES - FLUFF:

it's a girl's dream to dance in the rain but it's a plus if you do it with someone you love...

The second chance - DRACO BOOK

Little Butterfly in the dark - ANGST:

Draco doesn't know what love feels like So where does that leave you...

Hear me - ANGST/FLUFF:

you have a bad habit of tearing yourself down and Draco won't stand for that

What DATING DRACO WOULD BE LIKE

What it's like DATING DEATH EATER DRACO

Vampire charms - Vampire/death eater - SMUT:

the priest little girl is cursed by the walking devil. or is she?...

Yellow - FLUFF:

He wasn't really the type to fall in love But maybe he hasn't met that special girl in yellow...

Purple berry - FLUFF:

You have a crush on your tutor but what are the odds he feels the same..

My crazy death eater - ANGST:

Draco may not have lost just his friends, he may have lost his mind as well...

Someone forbidden - STEP DAD SMUT:

Your step dad is supposed to be off limits but who says either of you follow rules...

Royals - SMUT:

Draco Malfoy is a dick and your a perfect little princess in his eyes But your also not going to back down from a challenge...

Hitting you with snow hearts - FLUFF:

Your not sure how to tell Draco you love him but you love something else maybe that could help...

Wildest dreams - FLUFF/ANGST/KINDA SMUT:

Falling in love slowly is like a Taylor swift song...

Daddy's needy baby - SMUT:

Draco's poor little baby is experiencing a change luckily her daddy is very skilled at helping with it...

Draco TEXT

Brat's punishment - SMUT:

You got a phone for your sixteen birthday and a few years later you use the device for not so appropriate purposes and well your caught...

Deep in your skin - SMUT:

Something about digging your nails in Draco's back while he fucks you just feels right...

Friends to lovers strangers - FLUFF/ANGST:

Draco just wished he would have looked a little closer...

Draco X BLACK READER COLLEGE

New series INFO AND COLLEGE

Something in between - SMUT:

Draco comes back from quidditch and has to have himself buried between your thighs...

Without you - SMUT:

Slytherin parties are known for many things: hookups, drama, and drunk teens but you and your ex bring one more thing...

Happy birthday daddy! - SMUT:

your step dad's birthday comes and of course you come home to celebrate, bringing him cute gifts but he has a better present in mind...

Relax - SMUT:

being a mom is great if you don't count the feeding and other things but Draco is amazing at making you comfortable when you do finally get the chance...

You little brat - SMUT:

your way of coping with your mother's death is not okay with your step father. I mean why sleep with little boys when you have your step dad who is sexy as hell...

The sweetest lies - ANGST:

Draco disappears and pansy comes bringing news about the boy who said he loved you...

The jealous to your possessiveness - SMUT:

you get jealous after a small party and accidentally trigger your possessive husband because of your jealousy and Draco fixes both those problems...

Extremely dangerous - ANGST TO FLUFF:

Draco's a man with a secrets and A few misunderstandings...

Greedy girl - SMUT:

Draco isn't very fond of his girlfriend being a needy slut In front of others and giving them the wrong idea so he's gotta let them know you're only like this for him...

Alpha Draco MOODBOARD

Hero - FLUFF TO SMUT:

your boyfriend stands you up on your eighteenth birthday and your stepdad's there to fill the little hole left in your heart and other things as well…

Draco PHOTOSHOPS WITH STORIES

The famous Bloodline SMUT:

you and the prince are not on the best terms until the truth comes out and he cums in you…

SOFT BLUE ANGST AND FLUFF:

you're attracted to someone you've never seen in human form and your attraction to the said person may cost you everything and it's a risk you're willing to take…

Wrong answer SMUT:

you're gonna fail potions but your professor has an offer to help you pass…

Drive SMUT:

your boyfriend doesn't want to talk about his day, he'd rather show you how shitty it's been…

Came on a train SMUT:

Draco can't control himself around anyone or anywhere when it comes to you...

Okay, today I will be criticizing my first smut EVER! [Draco]

SERIES ↓

STAY QUIET - PART 1 SMUT:

It's Christmas and Draco's favorite present of all lies in his bed but that doesn't mean he'll let you scream...

STAY QUIET PART 2 - SMUT:

You couldn't stay quiet so you'll have to take the punishment for it...

He thinks I'm pretty - FLUFF PART 1:

Your boyfriend's an asshole but you'll always have your best friend...

You should think she's pretty - FLUFF PT.2:

Draco's sees you begin treated bad by your boyfriend and has something to say about it...

Beat me up and break me down - ANGST PART 1:

Something changes about you over the summer...

Sleeping angel - ANGST PART 2: the curse you were put under doesn't just effect Draco in one way in the end...

Everything but not - part 1 *cancelled because it didn't get enough support*

Professor Malfoy series:

It's a brand new year at Hogwarts. You and other children are just beginning their 7th year but you never planned to fall in love with your professor who is also your boyfriend's dad and parents best friend…

Professor Malfoy PART 1

Professor Malfoy PART 2

Professor Malfoy PART 3

Professor Malfoy PART 4

Professor Malfoy PART 5

Part 6 is located in part 2 of the masterlist

[wytfut]

Love lost?

To get going on this entry, I need to explain where I came from.

Not being derogatory toward girls, but I'm not sure that what they read here will be understood. Isn't this a guy thing?

Growing up middle income Nebraskan, with God fearing Methodists.

My parents came from what now would be perceived as extreme conservatism. No card playing. No dancing. No alcohol. Go to church twice a week. All of these "rules" were broken one way or the other occasionally by my parents, but it was their guide to being good people.

Pop, although I do show him here sometimes more negative than what makes a lot of folks comfortable.... Was a real life hero in my eyes. An invincible law enforcement officer with wide respect all over this end of the state.... even more.

Mom who I also tell tales that can be interpreted wrong, are also written here. She in her own rights created a world wide reputation within the blood bank, as a RN, and an active extrovert within the community.

They were good hard working folks, with a staunch background from Mid Nebraska, with lofty goals I tend to believe were accomplished.

The best I would ever hear out of their mouths was usually third person, and when they'd want to talk serious. As in "you know we love you very much..... right?".

Never the less... I loved them both very much .... as it should be.

,,,,,

I never saw or heard my folks say in public in person say they love each other. Never saw them hold hands. And growing up with this was the norm for me.

My interpretation I believe why this was so, was because of their up bringing. No public affection ..... There is no doubt they loved each other.

And I followed thru this mode with my growing up, includeding other luggage..... namely saying you love someone is extremely personal, plus with my young age, if said, could be an huge embarrassment within my peers, that no doubt touched trust to a point. It was HUGE to hold hands with any girl I'd be courting, let alone say "I love you".... it would take everything I could muster, to hold hands. I'd want to, but didn't know how, as silly as this seems.

Maintaining this line of thinking has made my life likely more difficult than needed, or even worth me writing it down. But so it goes, it is huge in my understanding of how things work.

.....

Patti (Toots), the love of my life, has heard me say "I love you", but most likely not near enough. And I regret it.

Growing up the way I did, I had to fit the proper appearance.... that's the way I saw it. "be a manly man" "do manly things" "don't cry" "is this how you want people to remember you".... these all have gotten me to this point in life, right or wrong, here I am.

Around 50 years old.... My oldest, in an emotional moment told me he loved me. I teared up immediately.... I had never been approached that way before, let alone by a family member. I tried to reply, but it just came out all garbled and choked. Still though it felt good....

It wore on me, and anytime my mind would go idle, I'd relive it. Sometimes like a punch in the gut, sometimes tears of exhilaration, and moments of confusion.

A few years later, I was writing an email to a long time high school buddy.... and finished off with a "I love you man". It was a good thing he knew me VERY WELL, otherwise it could have been one of those embarrassing moments. I'm still amazed to this day, that I blurted that out on a long distant email. I realize now, it made our friendship much more binding..... REAL...

As time marched on, I was still very apprehensive about saying such a thing to anyone, but on rare occasion I could get it spit out with my family. It is a long road.....

Sometimes via text, and rarely but it was done in person.... Did I really say that?

Its still very difficult for me to say. Its extremely real in my opinion, reserved for exceptional moments.

..........

I feel I have a huge network of close friends. Not sure if they feel that way also, but believe it is so. It would be very difficult to rate them to, "who is my best friend". I can't do it. It'd be like trying to say which is your favorite child. I can't do that either. I'd guess I have in reality about 10 best friends (actually maybe a much bigger number). All of these people I can count on, even if I don't see/communicate with them for great lengths of time, and me vice versa.

People who I can depend on. The old quote from me to my boys: "a best friend is the guy that will get out of bed at 2 in the morning, because you are stuck in the snow,". A person can change this to apply to many things many ways.

..........

From my life experiences, it seems we all hide behind some sort of imposing public image. Some folks can let it down easily, some cannot. Knowing my close friends, it seems easy to understand who can, who cannot. But its all understood, with no regrets towards any of them. Hey folks we are just people trying to get along...

...........

A clever man last night threw out a "I love you" last night on the phone, but said in a reflective way, that guys do, but with underlying other meanings. My radar popped.

It wasn't because I don't love this guy (I truly do), but he threw this out there, and laughed, and I too nervously laughed.

By nature, in normal conversation.... well I saw it as breaking the guy code. In reality, it didn't. We are very close.... almost cosmic brothers. But it was unexpected. And it affected me enough that I had to write this.

..........

And there it is... I'm a bit neurotic. Think too much about petty things.

Gotta admit, I love a lot of people....

[1u11ablues]

MY LITTLE INFERNI (NIKOLAI LANTSOV X OC)

WC: 2.6k

Summary: Nikolai re-reads Dasha's letter to reminisce, but the nichevo'ya in him had other plans.

Warning: No warnings.

CHAPTER 2: HOME

Nikolai,

I’m sure by now you’ve heard of my assignment in Fjerda. I don’t want this to be a winding eulogy of our friendship, but—a king and a witch, surely that warrants at least a couple of them?

I jest.

Nikolai grins, thinking back to the fairy tales he had read when he was a child. Surely there was one of a demon king and his fire-witch that didn't end in a tragedy? 

Your highness, I still look back to the first time I bumped into you . 

How could someone have that much energy within them? You reminded me of a ball of star, constantly writhing, and I never knew when you were about to explode. 

He rolls his eyes. Dasha and her obsession with stars. This isn’t even a good metaphor. He’d described himself more like the sun. Brilliant and strong—as a King, and as Sturmhond. 

You reminded me so much of Stepan—bless his dear self—wild, resourceful, always knowing what to do. Sure, I disagree with several choices you’ve made before, but I admire you for springing into action when it calls for instead of being rooted on the ground. Thank you for pulling me off my feet when I was stuck. May you do the same to Ravka. 

I know everything has its ups and downs, even our friendship. I find that none of it matters now, so I’d hope you’ve forgiven my blunders as I do yours. When I think of you, I only feel warmth, Nikolai. 

He feels the same way. He realised that he never once told her how he cares. Their friendship was built on quiet moments and acts of service, so he didn’t think he needed to say it out loud. 

In the end, I could not work myself up to tell you how much I care about you. It was stupid of me to rely on unspoken moments; to think you can figure out the words I could not say. I think of all the times I wanted to touch you, hold you in ways friends don’t normally do, and I laugh at how puerile it all sounds. As if every girl in the kingdom hasn’t already thought the same.

There was a time where he wanted to do the same thing, perhaps he still does. It’s just—he grew up with her. She had been there for him for so long; he didn’t know if it was simply adoration or something deeper than that.

I will do my best to serve Ravka and its king, so don’t even think of worrying about me—I can already imagine your eyebrows knitting together. I have the honour of Zoya as my mentor (don’t tell her I said this) and remember that time I almost incinerated the forest near that lake? I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, so I hope you do the same.

Yours truly,

Dash.

Nikolai had reread the letter Dasha left him a handful of times now, the wrinkled edges proof of it. He had no idea that Zoya had given her the assignment to begin with, and if he had any say in it, he would not have signed her off to wager her life in Fjerda. Or maybe he would. He is a king first—foolish man second. 

“Why was I not informed of this?” he asked Zoya the day he found the letter left on his work desk.

“I didn’t know I had to, moi tsar. Dasha is only there as a dormant agent, if that’s any consolation.”

It’s not. 

Nikolai paced the floors of his chambers, and Zoya studied him, confused. Her mouth opened and closed several times to say something but failed to. Her question lingered in the air. Nikolai rested his hands on his desk and eyed the opened letter again, gaze falling on Dasha’s signature. 

“She’s my oldest friend, Zoya. I hold her very dear to my heart, and it—it’ll kill me if—” he hesitated to say the rest of it. What could he have said, anyway? That it’ll kill him if he lost her? He already did, the moment he chose to push her away. He tells himself that it was the guilt. The morning of the first incident, when he found out that he could’ve killed you while you were asleep, it terrified him more than having that nichevo’ya in him. “If you think you did what you thought was right, then I’ll not press any further.” King first, man second.

“I’m sure of it,Nikolai.She’s our best inferni.”

Nikolai looked her in the eyes, a slight nod to dismiss her. For Ravka, he reminded himself. And every time he did, the ball in the pit of his stomach grew.

“Are you ready, your highness?” Zoya called from outside his bedchambers, pulling him back to the present. Nikolai folded the letter neatly into its envelope and tucked it safely in his nightstand under the books and paper of its first drawer. 

“Come in, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai summoned her, stretching and massaging the knot out from his back. Zoya enters, the chains dangling from her arms, a necessary means to an end. So far,the demon has only ever killed livestock, but he lives in fear of the day it decides to take human lives. This is why precautions had to be taken. 

“Have you thought about what I said?” she asks, while untangling the chains. 

“You’ve said a lot of things, Nazyalensky. I need you to be more specific.” 

Zoya rolls her eyes.As if it’s not the one topic Nikolai had been avoiding since she first brought it up.

“Marriage, Nikolai. Setting up your roots as the ruler of Ravka. Producing an heir—”

“I think you’re getting a little too ahead of yourself,Zoya.”

Zoya fastens the shackles over his left hands,frown apparent in her face.

“Well,” she pulls the chains to his right , “forgive me for thinking of the country and doing my job as the general you appointed.” 

Nikolai flashed her that boyish grin famous for melting the hearts of many. 

“And thank you for that. But I think there’s more pressing matters right now than getting hitched with someone I barely know, don’t you?” Nikolai quips, head tilting as he motioned towards himself. 

“I don’t think anyone wants to be with a monster, even if it comes in pretty packaging.”

Zoya snorted. Nikolai laughs and hopes Zoya will forget about it. He doesn't feel like planning that far ahead when something so dark lives within him. 

“How does it feel?” Zoya asked,taking a seat at the edge of his bed. She eyed him, waiting for an answer. Nikolai’s head tilts, beckoning her to elaborate. “You know,” she continues, straightening the nonexistent wrinkle of his bedspread, hoping it’ll disperse the weight of her upcoming question, “with the creature inside of you, how do you deal with it?”

“Oh,” the corners of his mouth twisted in consideration, his mind trying to fish for the right words to explain it to her. “It’s like having someone else sharing my body with me. Losing time. An unwelcome guest prying and muddling every thought I have.”

“Can it affect your actions?”

“Not when I’m conscious.”

Zoya hummed, a little relieved at his answer. She won’t say it, but it’s not easy to put trust in a king that does not have control of his own mind and body. Nikolai understands her reasons even if she chose not to tell him. If he were her, he wouldn’t be able to trust a possessed king either.

“Any other questions,Nazyalensky?” Nikolai questioned. He could at least try to settle Zoya’s unrest if he can’t be the king she thought he’d be.

“Does it speak to you?”

“Sometimes.”

Zoya’s eyes widened. She hadn’t guessed that Nikolai was that close to the creature. Her theory was that they were two different entities, and one is only up if the other is asleep. She’d heard stories of something happening like that passed down from her seniors, someone who was not in total control of themselves. It sounds terrifying, but it made her look at Nikolai in another light. She respected him,looked up to him as her king, but now—looking at Nikolai so helpless against the one thing the Darkling should’ve taken with him when he dies—it feels foreign to admit that she cared about him.

Nikolai’s eyes droop, his mind straining to stay awake. Zoya takes this as a sign for her to leave.”You’re still Ravka’s king, Nikolai. As long as you do whatever you think is best for the country, I will be fighting next to you. And if you want to find yourself a bride, then I’ll be there to help you.”

“I appreciate the elaborate speech, Zoya, but that won’t top my list anytime soon.” Nikolai states, his words slurring like he’d had a glass too many kvas.

Zoya stood,dusting her hands on her Kefta. “Fine,” she turns to leave, “What about Hiram Schenk’s—”

“Goodnight,Zoya.” 

Zoya presses her lips and lower her head to bid him goodnight. She’ll just have to bring it up to him another time,then.

***

Home.

Nikolai wakes from his slumber to find out that it’s still dark. What time is it? He scans his chambers to find out that he was not in it at all. He’s not even in the palace, in fact, he’s way up in the air because he can feel the wind slapping him in his face. Panic starts setting in when he finds out that he was not in control of his body, and the demon had essentially taken over while he was sleeping, but what had changed? He had never been conscious enough to see himself flying this clearly before. Something must have prompted it to behave this way. Was it running away? Going somewhere?

Home, the creature muttered, and he hadn’t expected a response so clear from it, as if the creature was speaking to him—as if they were two separate entities that did not share a body. Nikolai didn’t understand what it meant by home, and is hesitant to push for more in case it’ll shut him down completely. He wanted to use this change as an opportunity to learn more about it, maybe learn how to rid it off of him. The creature sensed Nikolai’s plans and snarled, spraying the sky with thick slobber. Nikolai knew why it was angry, of course—they share the same body, so he tries to keep himself from making any plans to get rid of the pilot while he’s still the passenger, because if they crash, he would hate waking up in the morning. Or worse, not waking up at all.

***

“Zoya, the king had escaped again.”

Zoya stood,putting down her cup of tea so quickly on her table that the clinking reverberated in her skull. She saunters to her bed and picks up her Kefta ,hastily changing from her night robe so she could join Tamar to go look for Nikolai.

“Where is he headed?” she asks, while they sprint to the carriage Tamar had prepared as soon as she notices the king missing from his bed.

“North,” Tamar replied,her hands on her axe. They entered the carriage with Tolya as their coach and rushed north,eyes scanning the night sky for any black winged figure. Since Nikolai entrusted his secrets to only members of the Triumvirate plus Tamar and Tolya, they had to make do with their limited number of hands.

The outlines of Os Alta were barely fading when they caught sight of Nikolai zipping through the clouds. It almost seems like the creature had a set destination it was flying to, its pace unforgiving . 

“We need to stop it,” Tamar yells, the sound of hoof beating ground and air passing the carriage too loud for both of them to hear perfectly. “He’s heading to Tsibeya. If he continues further, it’ll be harder to lasso him in without having to worry about Druskelle.”

Zoya nodded. It does seem like the creature was heading to the permafrost, maybe even further. She doesn’t want to think about what they’ll have to do if it enters Fjerda, so she pushes herself out of the carriage, using the wind to carry her up to the same eye level as Nikolai. She had had flying practice before, but it’s still too risky to do because there are too many variables to consider when you’re up that high, but she had no other choice. 

The creature felt another presence intruding on it and turned to find Zoya zoning in . It screeched and darted towards Zoya, head-butting, knocking her down. Zoya managed to summon a cushion of air before she fell and used it to levitate. She focused her left hands on it, creating a pulse strong enough to knock the creature down from the sky.

It shrieked before losing consciousness, hurtling to the ground at maximum speed. Zoya softened the fall with her powers, Tamar and Tolya behind her, ready to chain it before it woke up and try to fly away again. They decide not to when they sees Nikolai lying there, his dirt-smeared face looking peaceful,like he was asleep in his own chambers. Zoya whispered a quiet apology when she sees bruises blooming on his skin predominantly on his left torso where her air pulse had hit him.

She nudged his shoulders to wake him as it’ll be easier to bring him home if they didn’t have to carry him. Zoya supposed she could hover him in the air if she wanted to, but she was tired, her body sore from getting hit. 

“Zoya?” Nikolai called, slowly gaining consciousness. Zoya was about to explain what had happened, when he continued, “I was there,Zoya. I saw it.”

***

“When you say you were there,” Zoya starts, asking Nikolai for more explanation. They had begun their journey back to Os Alta before the sun started to rise. Better to reach home while it’s still dark, or else people will start talking. There were already words of the King of Ravka being possessed, so Nikolai and his confidantes tried their best to keep his transformations hush.

Tamar sits next to her, her eyes first on Nikolai, then Zoya. She’s equally confused, just sitting there and hoping her friends will fill her in. 

"I mean I was there. A passenger in my own body. I woke up from sleep and all I could do was sit back and watch." Nikolai explained, jittery , and Zoya raised her eyebrow because it seemed like he was excited about the whole ordeal. She shoots Tamar a look , a silent question , asking her is he losing his mind?

Tamar shrugged, she doesn't mind as long as he comes back in one piece. He'd done crazier things as Sturmhond, so Tamar and Tolya have kind of expected it as one of Nikolai's inborn quirk.

"Nikolai, where was it going? Tamar says you're heading straight to Fjerda with no plans of stopping." Zoya states, her gaze intent on him, wanting him to give her a direct answer.

"Did it say something to you,your highness? Any clue as to how we could get rid of it?" Tamar continued .

Nikolai turns to look outside, watching as the trees pass by like a blur. He had a theory as to why it was headed North, but he’s not so sure about it. For all he knows, the creature plans to surrender him to the Fjerdan monarchy. That doesn’t explain why it was intent on going ‘home’ though. 

“I don’t know where it was going. I only know that it wants to go home, and home is somewhere in Fjerda.”

Chapter 1

AO3

[introverted-ghost]

Hello, how are you doing? :))

Just realized how ~weird~ it is that we have been friends for this long and I do not know your name. I don't mean your real name necessarily, but just some way to call you? Lmao I literally cannot believe I am only now asking this, I feel like a terrible online friend :((

Funny how internet friendships work tho. Like I know you're a half-psychic pisces, and your favorite color is green, and you like The Owl House and The Ninja Turtles and Ninjago, and you have cats and several siblings.....

But I don't have a way to call you.

????

Honestly wtFUCK.

So imma ask you some questions to know you a lil better, if you don't mind.

1. HOW CAN I CALL YOU OMGGGG

2. Favorite candy

3. How was this past week? Anything fun?

4. What kind of books do you like? Not gonna ask favorite book, but just talk to me about books :) you like reading, right? I know you like comics, and reading comics is reading. You can talk to me about comics.

5. What is your favorite fun fact? Can be about anything. I'll tell you mine: a human teeth has 32 calories.

6. YOU HAVE CATS, RIGHT? I HAVE THIS MEMORY THAT YOU SHOWED ME SOME PICTURES OF THEM. RIGHT?? TWO OF THEM. I DIDN'T MADE THAT UP. RIGHT????

7. Do you still wanna be friends after this mess of an ask? Lmao.

Sorry. Currently 2:00 am. I shouldn't be allowed to use internet at this unholy hours.

I’m gonna fucking die I just finished answering this then tumblr crashed and it was gone. Anyways~

1. To be honest I don’t really care what people call me. Most folks call me dryad but I also go by edland, xero, kylan, and rian or anything else really since I don’t super care

2. I don’t think I have a favourite candy so I went to check what was in my stash which was virtually nothing (Imma have to stock up once I get paid) but there was a container of pink lemonade lemonheads (which are pretty good btw)

3. Id probably have to make a whole separate post to cover everything I did but basically we went camping a lot in different places across the province each night (depending on where you’re from that may not seem too impressive but I’ll tell you in messages the size of it compared to Colombia so you get the picture)

4. I like fiction stories, usually fantasy but chill if it’s not. I recently (yesterday) got a book from the library I asked for ages ago (it took extra time since the one they gave me originally was in Chinese so I returned that one and asked for one in english) it’s called journey to the west btw. I know a lot about it and have watched many adaptations of it but it’s nice to be able to read it. Yes I also like comics

These are all the Tmnt comics I have so far

5. I don’t know if this is my favourite fun fact or if I’ve already told you or if you already know since you’re super smart. The Latin words for 7 8 9 10 are septem octo novem decem respectively. You may recognize them as the 9-12 months of the year, which you would be correct. It bothered me that it doesn’t match up but they were named during the Julian calendar which started in April (that’s also how April fools started) so with quick comparing I learnt that it STILL DOESNT MATCH UP :|

6. I do have cats. Three of them though

First there’s Meredith he’s the oldest by a month

Then jingles

Skip ahead 5 or 6 years and you got Maggie (this picture was taken after she was spayed and we had to put her cone on when I wasn’t there to watch, she tried to escape while I was at school but just ended up making things worse for herself)

7. Yes of course I do!

Now you answer them! Well except 5 since you kinda already did. And 6 since it was kinda a me specific question. And 1 since I already know your name. And a modified 7 (do you still want to be my friend after this mess of an answer?)

Also go to sleep 🔫

[skeleton-in-a-hoodie]

Dead Doesn't Mean Gone is nowhere near Casey being introduced, but i'm really excited about him so thought I'd just dump all my headcannons for him so far here

His mum's mexican, not sure about his dad.

Lives with his grandma and little sister - this version of Arnold Jones is, unfortunately, a complete asshole, so when Casey was about 13 and Robyn 7 their grandma got custody.

He actually met Raph before he lived with his grandma. They both play hockey, so played for different teams. At first they were mostly rivals, but it quickly developed into friendship.

Casey doesn't really talk about his dad to Raph and there's a lot of reasons why. At the time Casey was very much like "he's my dad and he loves me, if I tell anyone they'll completely misunderstand the situation." Like he's protective of his loved ones, and felt he had to defend his dad, even if his dad's actions were awful. Plus he knows that Raph lives in a children's home, so he felt awkward talking about Arnold (Raph doesn't actually mind when people talk about their dads).

After Casey moves, Raph knows that something happened with his dad, but Casey won't talk about it. Raph's grown up around a lot of different kids, so he knows there's a lot of potential reasons Casey and Robyn are living with their grandma now, so he decides to wait for Casey to tell him and just be supportive in the meantime.

Casey is afraid of rats - there was a bad experience with them in his childhood.

Raph mentions Splinter to Casey but doesn't go into much detail. Casey just knows that Raph and his brothers have an adoptive dad who can't legally adopt them, most likely due to an unknown illness.

Unknown to Casey, he has met Splinter already. Unfortunately, it was during the time of night Splinter isn't himself. This did not help his fear of rats at all. (Splinter didn't hurt him, just scared him pretty badly.)

Screamed bloody murder the first time he met Splinter properly. Was then super confused cause "Raph, this is your dad!? He's a gaint talking rat!","Technically he's a rat demon", "Not helping Donnie!"

Does warm up to Splinter. Eventually Casey does end up seeing Splinter as a father figure, but due to *gestures at Arnold* doesn't feel comfortable calling him dad so instead it's either Splinter or Tio.

Has a lot of confusing feelings about his gender that he was not ready to get into after moving (This Casey is genderfluid). Starts figuring stuff out when he's roughly 15 and comes out not long after.

The fam are all very supportive! (Most of them are LGBTQ+)

Makes her own skates.

Splinter sees them and asks if Casey wants to learn metal forging.

(If you listen very closely, you can hear Leo's blood pressure rising.)

Donnie and Casey bond over making things in the garage. The earn some money by fixing people's cars and stuff after school/on weekends. When Donnie goes to university, Casey keeps at it and opens her own mechanic's shop.

Skateboards with Mikey and watches horror movies with him. Sometimes they'll watch horror anime together.

Casey at Leo "Aren't you tired of being nice. Don't you ever just wanna go apeshit?" Also sometimes they'll talk about what it's like being the oldest sibling and having to borderline raise yourself and them.

Not sure yet if she learns ninjutsu officially, but she does pick up a lot of stuff from the brothers and April. She knows how to box.

Watches anime and got into Japanese punk and metal bands.

Finds the forest deer unsettling as all hell. Does not get why Mikey is so fond of it.

Once tried to summon a demon with April (Girls Night!) and laughed so hard she couldn't breath when the ritual spat Splinter out (Splinter yelped). April was swinging between excited that it worked and wanting to know why it dragged Splinter in, meanwhile Casey is curled up in the corner wheeze-laughing

[scattered-winter]

knockoff lord of the rings sounds interesting!!!! talk <33

HUGGING U !!! this is my fantasy story!!!! it only has a few elements from lord of the rings (which were formative to my developmental years so i couldn't possibly write fantasy that didn't have SOME level of inspiration from that lmaoo) but i started calling it knockoff lord of the rings as a joke and well. it stuck. hopefully i can figure out another title for it tho gahlksjdlkahslg

for this one i still haven't really figured out the Main Conflict that brings the cast of characters together (it's some kind of End Of The World Stopping The Bad Guys stuff but. hell if i know) but i DO have all the main team figured out <33 they're all some of my oldest and most developed ocs, and they're super special to me because i've had them for a long time. if i ever end up actually publishing any of my works, i would want it to be this one just because of how attached i am to these ocs and i want to see their story told <33 I'LL INTRODUCE U TO THEM!!!

this is akka!! she's my oldest oc of all time (i made her when i was 6 <3 she's gone through a LOT of revisions since then and she used to be INSANELY overpowered and she still kind of is but in a more muted fits-into-the-worldbuilding way. but regardless she has a VERY special place in my heart <3) she's a dragon!! there are 2 main types of dragon, elementi (fire, water, etc) and alloyi (metals and minerals, much rarer and more powerful) and she's alloyi <3 her metal is copper !! so as an alloyi dragon she has harder scales, enhanced strength, and is just all around more powerful than a normal elementi dragon. but the dragon king ""drafted"" her into his private guard when she was just a hatchling (he does the same to all the other alloyi dragons because they're so powerful and he doesn't want them to be a threat to his rule) and so she was raised to be a killer pretty much from birth. but on her first mission she was ordered to kill civilians and she refused, and so she had her ability to take her dragon form stripped away by the dragon sages and she was banished. so she started wandering the human kingdoms taking work as a mercenary, and she also started tracking down dragon sages to try and get them to return her dragon form to her. she's rough and abrasive and an asshole and she likes to think that she's a loner (spoiler: she's not <3 she met a guy while doing mercenary work and they SPEEDRAN enemies to siblings and now theyre inseparable) and she's also a huuuge softie. but she's not gonna tell anyone that. and she also has trust issues <333333333333 and she's asexual and kisses girls sometimes but only when its convenient. but at her core behind all the prickly grumpy assholery she's soooo kind and wants to be gentle but doesn't quite know how and she has a bleeding heart that she's had to hide to protect herself and ouhgughghghhhh <333333333333333333333333

this is vinali <3 (vin for short <3) he's a forest elf !! he's bffs with a giant wolf named onyx and was exiled from his tribe for it so he and onyx became mercenaries around the human kingdoms. this is how they met akka <3 he and akka are now practically siblings !! and when the team gets together, he's the mom friend <3 there isn't a lot of romance in this story because i want the central focus to be found family but there IS a pairing in the main cast and he's part of it <3

this is orla !! she's the ringleader of the team <3 she was a knight until she realized the king she was supposed to serve was working with the enemy and so she decided to take him down w the power of friendship and the magic sword she found <3 she hired akka and vinali to help and instead of having a normal mercenary job they ended up joining her found family <33

this is kione !! he's the son of the corrupt king and he's still doing everything he can to take his dad down (the king is a HORRIBLE father btw) and eventually he becomes the king after they win the war and he . is actually a good king lmao

this is ether !! he has. probably the most lotr inspiration lol do u remember those ghost guys under the mountain ?? yeah. ether's kingdom was cursed to roam their lands as spirits unable to move on to the next world but the curse didn't really take as much of an effect on him so he was still able to Think and Reason and he was like. more alive than a ghost but definitely more dead than a human. and he was also able to control the ghosts around him and he basically . just wandered his ruined home for HUNDREDS of years not able to remember anything about his old life (not even his NAME. ether isn't his real name but he doesn't know what else to call himself. and he can't remember his family or how he got there. <3) and when he joins the team they manage to break the curse and the ghosts all move on to the afterlife but ether stays behind. because once again. he isn't fully dead. and he even becomes 99% alive after the curse lifts (he's still cold all the time. and slightly unsettling in other ways) (and he still has his ghost controlling powers <3) but he joins the team on their mission and has to relearn how to be alive <3

and last but not least, halo !! he's a sky elf who was kidnapped by slavers from his tribe when he was young and he managed to escape a few years later but he didn't feel like he'd be able to go back home because after the things he'd done he didn't think he'd fit in anymore </3 and so he just kinda wandered around human kingdoms stealing and fighting to survive until he sorta accidentally joined the found family group <3 he has catholic levels of guilt and also insane amounts of trust issues and trauma Up To Here <3 he's the other half of the pairing and it takes a long time to work up to it because he's so withdrawn that it takes a while for his walls to come down. but i love himb <33

wip title ask game

[myucornerorg]

Thanks @real-life-senshi for the tag!

The Rules: Tag (9) people you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the following:

Four Ships:

Oh boy. TBH I'm not that into shipping really. I guess I have a few though.

Brainy x Nia (CW Supergirl): Definitely the beta couple of the last couple seasons of the show. I do kinda wonder how their relationship would've developed had Season 5 played out as planned (the ending of the season got kinda messed up due to COVID lockdowns, which is why the "beat Leviathan" plot got carried over to the beginning of Season 6). They got a fair amount of focus in Season 6, as they dealt with how Brainy's actions in Season 5 affected them (also they had to write Kara out for most of the season because her actress was on maternity leave, forcing them to instead focus episodes on the rest of Supergirl's team). I felt it was a strong ship, with two goofy, geeky people - one an alien genius who's not very used to having emotions period and the other a half-human, half-alien girl with dream-related powers - who both clearly like each other but don't know how to spit it out. The "Prom!" two-parter, where they go back in time to get DNA to help track down Kara, had them try to fit in in late-90s small town America, which was hilarious. Also, in general, even with all the hype over Nia being the first transgender superhero ever (she's also played by a real-life trans rights hero, Nicole Maines), aside from a little focus when she was first introduced, they haven't made it her sole defining trait, and have developed her beyond that, which I appreciate. I'm not sure their relationship had its full time to develop - towards the end it seemed doomed to fail since at some point Brainy was going to have to go back to the future time he came from. But in the finale he decided to "screw destiny" and came back for her, so they still have a chance!

Pokéshipping (Ash x Misty): From Pokémon, obviously. This is Pokémon's oldest ship and I have stood by it for years (to be fair, I haven't seen enough of the anime to justify the other Ash ships anyway). But then I'm biased, since Misty has long been a favorite character of mine from Pokémon. It's been cool seeing her come back in more recent seasons and still have a dynamic with Ash. It started with him accidentally frying her bike with Pikachu, and her tagging along to make him pay her back, but they ultimately developed a strong friendship, which I think is only rivaled by his friendship with Dawn probably. Of course, since I ship them, I wish there could be more - and there are songs showing Misty has feelings for him ("Misty's Song," "He Drives Me Crazy," "I've Got a Secret" from Pokémon Live). The second movie also teased the idea, though Misty strongly denied it. As for Ash, we have no idea how he feels. But let's be fair, he barely acknowledged Serena's feelings, and hers as far as I can tell were WAY more obvious than Misty's (Serena pretty much started traveling with Ash cause she had a crush on him). So I'm guessing he's just completely oblivious. He'd have to grow up a lot to realize how Misty feels. And now Ash's time in the anime is basically over. Though, they did leave things pretty open-ended with him, so...

Yowzah (Doctor x River Song): This is basically my main ship from Doctor Who (though I do also support Tenrose). For this ship, I usually define it as Eleven x River specifically, since they interact the most. Though their relationship is crazy complicated, their banter is always fun to see when they do meet. Because I didn't watch Doctor Who quite in order when catching up on old seasons, I actually saw their romance in basically chronological order - starting with Series 5-7 and ending with 4, where Ten meets her but she ends up dying - which somehow made it even more poignant. I did appreciate that before Steven Moffat left, he resolved their whole thing by having Twelve finally take River to Darillium (the last place River saw "her" Doctor before traveling to the Library and meeting Ten), and having Twelve come to terms with her being gone. While there are still Big Finish audios coming out to flesh out River's personal canon, I consider her timeline with The Doctor finished, and I don't expect her to show up again (although, they brought back Jack Harkness, so I guess no one's safe). I don't feel like there's any sort of future they could give them - "The Name of the Doctor" already showed River post-death. I suppose they could delve into their past still, especially if they keep the Timeless Child plotline when Russell T. Davies takes over again. I'd kinda love for River to meet the Fugitive Doctor. I feel like they would be BFFs in a heartbeat. At any rate, River is a fun character, and for now I've been indulging my interest in this ship via the Eleventh Doctor fanfic I've been working on for years (I have an idea for a ship fic with them too).

Mamoru x Hina (PGSM): So not sure this is even a ship but decided to add it anyway. When it comes to Sailor Moon, I'm typically in the Usagi x Mamoru camp pretty strongly. Especially in the manga, where their relationship really gets some deep development (it gets development in the anime too, but not in the same way I feel like). But the live-action series Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon just didn't do their relationship justice. I get that they had limited episodes to work with, but they could've done better. They also tried to make things more dramatic by revealing Mamoru was engaged, right at the point of the show when Usagi was starting to think maybe he wasn't so bad after all. And then try to twist the knife even more by making Usagi realize that "OMG this guy's girlfriend is actually NICE." Hina, meanwhile, didn't get much development beyond being the "other woman" who clearly loved Mamoru more than he did her. That she was the "childhood friend" in this scenario probably didn't help either (anyone who's watched/read enough shoujo knows that the "childhood friend" rarely wins in a love triangle). She did at least respect that Mamoru had a lost past he was trying to find clues to, and tried to be supportive as much as she could. And when Mamoru got cut off from a call with her when Kunzite attacked him, she seemed genuinely upset. (She also got upset when she found Usagi's handkerchief in Mamoru's dresser, but that's more like a "OMG are you cheating on me?" kind of upset). Ultimately she saw the writing on the wall and broke up with Mamoru. I mean, sure, if the show was going to follow the original Sailor Moon plot, Mamoru and Usagi were going to have to end up together somehow. But instead of trying to create a genuine love triangle with actual drama attached, they had Mamoru in a relationship he didn't really care about and Usagi, as much as it pained her, willing to honor that relationship. Thus they started to kinda reluctantly become just friends instead. But while it can be argued they did develop some feelings for each other eventually, their whole romance seems to be based on the fact that they loved each other in their past lives, and fate is doing its darnedest to bring them together again. Except that in the past that caused the destruction of the Earth, a fact that initially no one remembers except Sailor Venus, Zoisite, and Kunzite, which is why those three are pretty strongly against Usagi and Mamoru getting together (Beryl also tries to split them up later, either personally or through her "shadow" Mio, since the Beryl/Serenity/Endymion love triangle is also still a thing). Then they get separated since Mamoru goes to study abroad in England, and then later lets Beryl capture him to save the Shitennou, causing all this angst where Usagi tries really hard not to make the Silver Crystal activate, as this would not only make her hardcore "I don't care about anything but my prince" Princess Sailor Moon side come out, but it also inadvertently powers Queen Metallia, neither of which is good for the safety of the Earth. Even once Beryl is defeated and Usagi and Mamoru are *finally* set to get married, it's clear Mamoru is not that enthusiastic about it, which is what leads to Usagi breaking things off and Mio showing up and being like "I'M BAAACK" and kidnapping Mamoru to be her groom in her circus-inspired base. So...anyway, it's just hard for me to ship Usagi x Mamoru in PGSM for these reasons, so I lean more toward shipping Hina with Mamoru. After all, the short "Hina Afterward" made it clear that she still thought about him after they broke up.

Last Song: Not a song per se, but...the Suzume soundtrack on Spotify. It's actually quite a good soundtrack. Sadly, they didn't include the songs Serizawa plays in his car during the road trip part of the movie (probably for copyright reasons), but I found a couple Spotify playlists people made of the songs he plays: this one and this one. One of them is "Rouge no Dengon," the opening song to Kiki's Delivery Service, which I recognized immediately when I first heard it as that's my favorite Ghibli film.

Currently Reading: This translation of Virgil's The Aeneid, translated by David Ferry. It was the one recommended by Blue of the YouTube channel Overly Sarcastic Productions in his Virgil video, so I figured it had to be good. Now, being a mythology buff, I knew something about the Aeneid going into this (I also watched OSP's video covering it), but I'd never read it in verse before now. And it is actually quite good. Sure there are boring lists of people at times, and Virgil spends like 10 stanzas describing the decorations on Aeneas's shield in great detail, which I could care less about. While I definitely had to consult the list of names in the back a few times to know what stuff was, the text was otherwise quite understandable as is, which isn't easy with old texts like this as far as I can tell. Ferry does a good job making it readable but not TOO modern. Would recommend.

Last Movie: The anime movie Suzume, directed by Makoto Shinkai, who did Your Name and Weathering With You. As I mentioned in this post, it's REALLY GOOD.

Craving: I'm looking forward to the game Hogwarts Legacy. The Switch version got delayed till July and it bugs me a lot. Also, this game called Sea of Stars is finally coming out soon that I backed on Kickstarter. I've never backed a video game on there before, so that's exciting! Besides that...I bought a TON of 3DS and DS games in my pursuit to get the games I wanted before the 3DS eShop shut down a couple months ago, so looking forward to those. In the process, I found out my DS Lite can still read GBA cartridges, allowing me to replay old favorites like Kim Possible 2: Draaken's Demise and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon as well as games I missed (like all of the Gen 3 Pokémon games - if I can track them down - and Tales of Phantasia, which I just recently found out even HAD a GBA version).

As for non-gaming things...I haven't been to Disneyland in years, despite living less than 2 hours away from it. Sure, as an autistic person, theme parks can be kind of a nightmare, but I really love Disney movies. Also, I haven't been there since before the Star Wars land was completed, so I really want to go there and see that, as I'm also a big Star Wars fan.

Also I do miss doing covers on my YouTube channel, I'll admit. I'd also like to do more collabs, but the SeraMyu cover community seems kinda dead now, especially since our sort of Fearless Leader (and the one who encouraged me to join in the first place) @sailorzakuro seems to have moved on.

Tagging: @ainomessage, @fyeahsailormoon, @glitzyglee, @galaxia-gorgeous, @gracemyhearto, @kosmosinusa, @katieban-kaiteiban, @love-boat, @sailormoonsub

[thistaleisabloodyone]

Watching a Ballistik Boyz BALLI7 episode. The premise is that the staff asked all 7 boyz top 3 things they wanted to do and 5/7 answered that they want to do a prank. Staff went to the remaining two boyz and asked "Will you help us prank the other five?" to, basically, a resounding "Yes!" It's four parts, all of which are subtitled in English. Here are the four parts: One Two Three Four

(I think if you click on part one, it should automatically play 2-4 afterwards, but better safe than sorry)

If anyone wants to go in spoiler free, I'm gonna stick my ramblings below the cut.

The two boyz not getting pranked are Masahiro and Ryusei. Well. Masa didn't get pranked, but, uh, Ryusei showed up to that very first meeting 20 minutes late, so they pranked him in revenge. That was hilarious, especially when Masa asked him "How was it?" and Ryusei echoed back "How was it?"

Ryusei: -looks to Masa for an explanation of why he got pranked- Masa: You were late [that first meeting] Ryusei: I should've been late today, too

But the first one of the other boyz getting pranked is Ryuta, to which both Masa and Ryusei went "Oh, we're starting with the oldest, then?"

Ryuta gets pranked and what I love is that Ryusei calls him 'aniki' multiple times in the post-prank moments. Also, Ryuta cheers up about the prank real fast when he finds out the other four are going to be pranked as well 😂

I think the prank they land on is much better than the two ideas posed of 'Ryusei wants to quit' or 'Ryusei needs to go back to Brazil', both of which Masa suggested. I do love that Ryusei explicitly said those won't actually happen.

Ryuta gets to enjoy the next pranking with Masa and Ryusei, much to his absolute enjoyment. He is really adorable. Up next is Miku! It seems like the boyz don't know who's getting pranked in what order, so bonus fun.

I'm laughing so hard, I feel light headed. When they do the super slow version of the fall, with fucking Strangers playing over top, I just die so hard. It kiiiiills me.

Also, when Miku falls, they take their time leaving the tent to go clue him in so he just sits there looking so sadly confused. I wanna hug him.

Aww, poor Miku thought the staff were mad at him due to the prank set up. I love that the other three immediately go "Oh, you were great". 10/10, beautiful friendship.

Ryusei being the one to be like "Someone please help him out" at the end. I love Ryusei, I feel like he's quietly incredibly caring. I love him so much.

I love Rikiya, poor thing's gonna try so hard and fall so far, but it'll be fucking funny. Aaaand he did. He went in backwards and twisting, so he was well and truly buried. They very kindly got him out of the pit before they continued on with the explanation, which was very nice of them.

But they're telling him to go to the bus and get changed, so he's paranoid about there being a second pitfall, so instead of going straight, he goes diagonal.

Right into the pit again.

Of all of the ones being pranked, I feel the worst for Riki. He's just - so cute - and typically well put together. I'm just like "don't be mean to him" 😂 He's trying so hard

Ah, Riki. You're a darling. He's so upset that all of his filming was for naught 😂

I love Yoshi. I just adore him. He's trying so hard not to smile when they tell him to stop smiling.

And they bullied Masahiro into falling as well 😂 Brilliant. 10/10, would happily watch again.

[bugtransport]

okay here are my feelings on aggretsuko but just like. season 5 on it's own because i didn't have the time to rewatch any of the previous show before seeing it which means that i'm viewing it as way more stand alone. enjoy

EDIT SORRY THAT WAS A LIE. i talk about season 3 haida here too

HMMM. hmm. i both liked and didn't like it. i feel like season 3 and 4 were so off the shits that this felt kind of weak in comparison... it felt like the story that they wanted to tell was kind of hampered by the episode length. in the previous season we've gotten time to expand on side characters and such and even when haida became more of a main character we still had checkins with the rest of the crew but that really didn't happen at all this season. we rarely saw retsuko at work. that's so foundational to the series? i enjoyed the stuff with haida and i liked being able to see his family dynamics but there were so many things that got teased and just never followed up on.

one of those that stuck out to me was when haida and retsuko went to go visit retsuko's family and retsuko's dad cropped haida out of the picture he took of them together and that just... wasn't mentioned at all afterwards besides one comment from fenneko like "oh lol your dad hates haida" and the fact that at the end of the show they all took a photo together with haida in it? i think they were trying to set up some kind of parallels between retsuko's and haida's family especially given the scale of the problems that both of them have with their respective parents and the fact that both of them impact the election plot somewhat, with retsuko's parents not giving her the deposit and haida having to run his gf against his brother, but they never really seemed to dive into that contrast. it just kind of existed.

i enjoyed the haida character stuff that we got, i think it was fun to see him struggle a bit and get in touch with a part of society he really didn't have contact with before and the weird passing friendships that he made with the people in the netcafe seemed realistic. it reminded me of the time right after i moved out of my parent's home and that's all i'm going to say on that matter. love a good family failure oldest son! it was fun seeing him talking with grocery store coworkers. i think what aggretsuko does really well is managing to nail the weird parts of the not-really-friends relationships that you have with people in your life. [tarou voice] you know, the bonds between people.

but again, touching on the bonds between people, the focus on the haida character things really came at the cost of a lot of the people that retsuko hung out with. gori and washimi were only seen like what, 4 times maybe? and they've been there from the beginning. tsunoda had only a couple moments of relevance, kabae learning the gossip about retsuko and haida had no real consequences, everyone else just felt kind of thrown in there as like a "look, we didn't forget about them!" fenneko even felt kind of pushed to the side once retsuko found out that haida had been living in the netcafe. shikabane was interesting as a retsuko parallel at the end but she just kind of disappeared partway through the season... honestly yeah it felt rushed it felt like they were trying to fit two seasons in one it felt like they were trying to do an A and B plot setup like they normally do but both of the plots were A plots actually and it left no room to breathe.

i miss season 3 haida and his worldwrecking feelings, his obvious ass just going through the wringer as he keeps trying to cope; he REALLY felt like someone having a crush and trying to ignore it and move past it and it's just not working. that one scene where he was thinking about choosing between inui and retsuko and he takes a step back reflexively and looks over his shoulder and the scene switches to him standing on the edge of a cliff looking down at what's below: that's what it's like!! that image has stayed with me since i watched it! oh i love that one so much and i came in wanting to be hurt and nothing really hit as hard as that did. yeah sure retsuko and haida are actually together now and it was fun seeing them deal with the mundanities of what a relationship is actually like after the both of them romanticized the concept so much but it felt like both of their feelings were cut in the process. it wasn't what i was looking for there...

i liked the ending of it though. i feel like it would have been a real nail in the coffin if retsuko had actually won the election. i think that would have totally gone against her character. i like that she tries all these different things out but still goes back to being an office worker at the end of the day. i liked that we got to see her idol friends again and that she got to embrace the stage again. i liked the fact that she couldn't really sweep this one under the rug while she went to work like normal (like she has done before) so we had all these people who knew slightly different sides of her all convening at the end and getting to see her as a whole, kind of. I think the baton pass to shikabane at the end was cute. and like, i did enjoy the show. it was still fun to watch. it's smooth and colorful and i like the timing of the jokes and i've enjoyed seeing the characters grow over the years. i don't have a better idea for a plot that could convey the things i think that they were trying to do here so i have no suggestions to make about what i would have preferred to see, just notes about what i think this one kind of failed to do.

wow, i thought i didn't actually have things to say on this one but i guess i did. i've had a good time watching it through the years. i don't regret it. it wasn't bad enough that i didn't want to finish! it just felt kind of lackluster as an ending.

[invisiblegirl86]

Traitor

I've been struggling with wether or not i would write this because at frist i didn't knew what i could write than would describe how i feel about it, but i finally realized that whatever it was i would feel a little better once i let it out.

Turns out my BFF Kara just broke up with me, basically i invited her to bindge-watch a Netflix show i've been obsessed about because a new season was coming and i just wanted to have a friend who would watch it with me. And even though i was almost certain she would say no i though i should at least try, but as it turns out after she declined she told me than lately we're not on the same frecuancy and that is the reason why she lately has declined most of my invitations to do basically anything (when at the time she told me one excuse after another making me belive it was true). And that she would always be there for me emotionally but that we're adults now and we shouldn't get stuck with each other (more or less).

I admit after she told me i cried for a really long time, the truth is i have lost friendships before, it startes small with me suggesting we should get together and hang out or inviting them to watch a movie and one of them declining or all of them not responding at all, and at the end after many failed attemts i stop trying because ther's simply no point on keep trying. And all those other times they simply vanish without having the guts to tell me it's over, and i always thouth i would feel better it a friend ended things being hones with me, but now i feel even worse. Because after almost 12 years of friendship Kara simply decided it was over, after everything we've been through together: the firts time i went trick or treat was with her, we spent all of high school together, we had our frist drink together, we had sleepovers, car rides, baking, makeovers, birthday parties, my quinceañera, my mom's cancer, we cried together, thrugh all of college i helped her study for her english class, i even went to support her on her final college exam, we went to the movies a thousand times, we drank together, we went to the fair, she even took me to her grandmother's ranch. Hurt even more that she was my oldest friend, the one person who knew all of me and still accepted me for who i was, the one who i could tell everything without being afraid of being judged. I always knew we were so different from each other but that just made me love her more because despite all our differences she chose to be my friend.

And after all of that she just got tired of me!!!. Like the last 11 years didn't happen. Like i never really mattered. Nobody has ever hurt me like she did. And the worst part is that if it's really over i don't have anyone else. I'm all alone and if even the longest relationship i ever had failed, if the person who knew me the most doesn't want me anymore, Who else will? What chance i have that someone else will want me? I know i'm not easy, i've always been weird and i've never been good with people, and the few times i've come close to someone they end up leaving me. What's the point of even trying?

[bedsyandco]

౨ৎ ‧ 𝐒𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐒

𐙚 ─── pairing: violet kingston x luke hughes

𐙚 ─── summary: in which luke hughes falls in love with his best friend

𐙚 ─── word count: 1.6K

𐙚 ─── a/n: it felt fitting to start the new account with my oldest au but also a piece you haven’t seen before x this one has been in the drafts a while… I adore high school luke and vi so much🥺 as always I hope you like it and please tell me what you think. I feel like a lot of out luke and vi pieces, especially the younger ones, really showcase luke's adoration for vi, and this really gives us more of an insight into how smitten violet is for him <3

“don’t start,” violet states when she arrives at their chosen table at the cafeteria, her and dylan the first two to arrive as usual.

“I didn’t even say anything,” he defends lifting his hands and violet sends him a knowing look as she takes the seat across from him

“not yet. but by that little glint in your eye I can tell you’re about to and you can save your breath. I’m not asking him, I'm not even sure I'm going," violet says and dylan lets out a frustrated sigh. he's been trying to convince her to ask luke to the sadie hawkins dance for at least two weeks straight but to no avail.

"I'm just saying, if you don't ask him soon, you might miss your shot. another one asked him today, that makes it what? three total..." dylan says and violet freezes mid-bite, lowering her apple and staring wide eyed at her friend

"who?" violet asks, her heart squeezing a bit at the thought of Luke going to the dance with someone else

"veronica williams," dylan asnwers and violet's face immediately turns sour. the nerve of that little -

"why are we talking about her-who-shall-not-be-named?" luke asks as he gets to the table, taking his regular seat next to violet, his arm automatically looping around her waist. he smirks as she slaps his hand when he reaches for a cracker in her lunch box, squeezing her hip in retaliation

"just telling vi who asked you to the dance today," dylan answers innocently and luke shrugs when he feels violet's eyes on him

"don't know why she bothered asking me, she knew I was gonna say no," luke says and dylan hums in agreement. it was a well known fact that violet and veronica didn't exactly get long, to put it lightly.

what started out as an innocent kindergarten friendship blossomed into a toxic competitive rivalry at the end of middle school and ever since then veronica has made it her mission to try and upend violet on every little thing. violet was almost sure half the extra curriculars she did was just because violet showed an interest in them.

violet didn't care when veronica ran for student government, or applied to be the head editor of the school paper, or challenged her for captain of the dance team. violet thrived off a little competition and she loved winning fair and square, as she often did in these little battles between her and the other girl.

violet couldn't quell the growing ball of jealousy, annoyance and insecurity at the thought of veronica going after luke. violet wasn't oblivious to the other girl's model-like appearance, and most of the time she was actually quite nice, when her attention wasn't directed towards violet.

dance captain, president of student government and editor of the school paper? those were all things violet would be more than happy to give her. but luke? her luke? was not something she was okay with sharing. violet knew luke wasn't even veronica's type. she was only doing it to get a reaction...

"easy tiger. are you missing the part where I said heck no? s'no need to get yourself worked up over it vi, you know that's what she wants. and then you have to deal with all that at cheer practice," luke reasons

"I'm quitting cheer," violet announces and luke pulls away to look at her, but she clenches the sleeve of his hoodie on the arm around her waist, keeping him close.

"what? why? if this is about veron-" luke protests but shuts up when violet stuffs a cracker in his mouth

"it's not. I've been wanting to quit a while. I only did it because I wanted to try something out of my comfort zone. and I did, but I don't love it, not like I love dance, and I would rather spend more time doing something I love. besides now I have the time in my schedule to coach your little cousin's winter concert-"

"violet, you don't have to quit cheer to choreograph my little cousin's first grade concert. I promise you no one is gonna remember it in a few years," luke says, pushing his lunch bag closer to her as violet steals a chicken nugget from his container

"she's gonna remember it. why are you so against me quitting cheer anyway? I thought you hated it?" violet asks

"I don't hate it, I just hate the way the football players think that you being a cheerleader means that they have the right to flirt with you 24/7. like what is this? high school musical?" luke grumbles and violet smiles

“gabriella wasn’t a cheerleader…” violet replies amused

“and troy wasn’t a football player…” luke responds

“so what exactly is the high school musical reference?” dylan asks

“you know… stick to the status quo or whatever,” luke mumbles, throwing dylan with a crumpled piece of paper

“you know what I’m gonna miss about cheer?” luke asks, his hand ending up on violet’s thigh and she places hers on top of his

“what?” she asks and he smirks slightly

“seeing you in the uniform,” luke teases and violet playfully pushes his chest

“I can keep the uniform,” violet teases back and luke’s eyebrows raise

“oh? you gonna come wear it at my games? be my personal little cheerleader?” luke asks, his head dropping closer to hers and violet is hyper aware of his nose being centimetres from hers

“you wish,” violet breathes and luke grins

“a man can dream,” luke teases, leaning back with a hand on his chest

“a man can dream to disappear and no longer be witness to this,” dylan mumbles and luke kicks him against the shin

“you uh- going to the dance?” luke asks, scratching the back of his neck, his nervous tick showing and violet smiles slightly

“I’m thinking about it,” she replies

“you should wear red if you are. it’s your colour,” luke says, knowing he already has a number of red ties in his closet

“everything is my colour,” violet teases and luke grins, kissing her on the cheek

“true,” he says, tugging on the strings of the hoodie she was wearing, not even noticing its the very one he was searching for that morning.

. . .

“can you calm down? what’s the worse that could happen? he says no?” violet’s little brother asks and her horrified gaze snaps towards him

“oh my god! what if he says no… what if he thinks this is totally lame and he’d rather gauge his own eyes out than go to this dance with me,” violet says and daxton just stares at her for a few seconds before glancing at her poster and back up

“I think it’s sweet and if he doesn’t, then he doesn’t deserve to go to the dance with you,” daxton says folding his arms over his chest and violet smiles at her little brother

“look he’s coming,” her brother says excitedly, and she spots luke on the ice instantly, feeling her heart speed up in her chest as he skates over to them, a puck in his hand

“here you go bud,” he calls, throwing the puck over the glass for daxton before directing his attention to her

“that for me kingston? you gonna let me see it?” luke teases and violet blushes, shakily opening the poster and pressing it against the glass so he could read it.

hey 43, do me a hughes favour and assist me in scoring a date to sadie? 🩷

violet feels like her cheeks are on fire by the time luke finishes reading and sends her a big grin.

“I thought you’d never ask,” he teases, pressing his hand flat on the glass and violet mirrors his action

at the end of their winning game, luke couldn’t wait to get off the ice, shower as quick as possible and go see his girl. doing a little jog towards her and picking her up in a bear hug when he’s in touching distance

“lemme see it. lemme see it,” he says excitedly and violet giggles as he puts her down, reaching for the poster

“can I keep it?” luke asks, clenching the poster tight and violet nods

“thanks for coming, where’s dax?” luke asks, grabbing violet’s hand as they make their way out of the building

“probably passed out in the car by now,” violet jokes and luke squeezes her hand

“are you coming over for dinner tonight? you have to… I have to show mom your poster. she’s gonna love it,” luke pleads

“yeah I can come to dinner,” violet agrees, pulling out her phone to text her grandma. never being able to say no when he pulls those big puppy eyes on her

“so what colour dress you wearing?” luke asks as he puts his gear in the trunk

“red,” she answers sheepishly and luke smiles, hooking a finger in her belt loops and pulling her into him

“what are you doing?” violet giggles as luke teasingly lifts the edge of her hoodie

“checking to see if you wore the cheer uniform,” he says and laughs as she swats him on the arm

“are you insane? its way too cold. and I think I embarrassed myself enough for one night,” violet replies and luke pecks her on the nose

“I think you looked cute. standing there with your little sign. I’m gonna woo you with my dance moves,” luke teases moving his legs an attempt of some sort of shuffle move and violet laughs

“are you laughing at me?” he asks, tickling her waist and pulling her into another hug

“those legs were made for skating lu, definitely not dancing. lucky for you, you have a super good teacher,” violet says and luke hums agreeing, pressing a kiss to her head