#And now I can't relax until I do that
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
i have once again regained the motivation to do All the Things
Just in time to be 2 hours last bedtime
And starting night shifts again tomorrow
Woo
Living that eat, sleep, work, repeat dream
(did actually do a social today though - brunch x2 takes all day)
#That quote about motivation being fickle and what you need is diligence#But man am I still early days in establishing that muscle memory#And in the meantime#I am le tired#And still having work flashbacks bc had to do an adrenaline MET call yesterday#This dude had the audacity to go into septic shock when I hadn't eaten all day and we were on hour 9 of the shift#And the next shift were taking way too long in a meeting before coming to take over#Please schedule your medical emergencies for when I have had a snack please and thank you#My life#My posts#Also it was such a hectic day and I could just feel that the juggling act meant there was a risk of things being missed#And then as I was leaving I looked over someone else's work and realized there was something I need to talk to the boss about#And now I can't relax until I do that#Conveying calm reassurance and explanation while feeling my own adrenaline hit was an Experience
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
god i fucking hate my dad
#he came home today from a bike trip he went on and he's been arguing with me about honeybee the whole fucking day#he keeps saying just let her out let her run around! every time i put her in her pen to nap#and he refuses to stop her from biting him#and he got mad at her for playing with his socks when she'd just been playing with mine and he threw them on the floor of the living room#which first of all stop being such a fucking slob#and second of all what the fuck did you expect to happen? it's a soft new toy on the floor where she spends most of her time. where all her#toys are. very similar to the two soft items she's allowed to play with (my socks)#she's fucking 3 months old she doesn't understand the difference between my socks and his socks#and i keep telling him i know what im doing i was doing all the research while he went to buttfuck nowhere on his midlife crisis motorcycle#but he just wont fucking listen to me#and hes like oh youre at that age where you think youre right about everything and are so stubborn like fuck you actually#first of all im stubborn about this because its a living breathing puppy and his actions will affect her behaviour as an adult#and bc i know what im fucking doing. ive been an animal person my entire life. i did all the research. i did this exact same thing with#parrots for five years.#and hes like you cant just put her in her pen every time shes being a dog like no i fucking dont. i only put her in her pen when it's time#for a nap and she's getting overtired. you can't just let her run around until she collapses bc for one she never fucking will#second that's only going to make her energy threshold higher and then she'll be absolutely impossible to handle#and i told him that and that i read that on like every professional dog training source i read#and he said that might be true or might not be#like it fucking is bitch omfg#and then he tried to one up me like um i actually raised you guys for a long time i know what im doing#like a child is not a fucking dog. also my mom raised us lets be fucking serious. and look how well adjusted i turned out#and he told me to relax and calm down like i wasnt even arguing with him but i sure as hell will now#like dont tell me to fucking relax. when has telling anyone to relax ever made anything better. especially a teenager. especially a (for#simplicity's sake) woman.#and i told him dont tell me to relax and he got all pissy and stormed off#like literally fuck you#im my fathers daughter. im just as stubborn as he is.#rambles
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Joachim Löw, former national coach of Germany, Hansi Flick, head coach of FC Barcelona, Andreas Köpke, former national goalkeeping coach, and Oliver Bierhoff, former DFB manager during the Farewell Game Of Lukas Podolski, 1.FC Köln on October 10, 2024 in Cologne, Germany.
#the GOAT under the goat showing up for the other GOAT#all fun and cosy until it really sinks in that this truly was Jogi's first time back since the fucking E*gland match. it's fine.#(btw my mom elaborated on her 'Jogi looked so goood!!' said it was bc he seemed so relaxed and at ease like she hadn't seen him in forever.#brb jumping)#Jogi Löw#Hansi Flick#Andreas Köpke#Oliver Bierhoff#do you. even need me to say anything at all or do y'all. know me well enough to write my tags yourself.#I think maybe I have one more Jogi centric post in me today or tomorrow. maybe I'll save my breakdown for that one. ANYWAY-#Jungens. Ab jetzt einmal pro Jahr immer so? Für mich?👉👈🥺#heart's a little heavier than before (I KNOW!! did not think it possible either) but mainly I am very happy#Hansi jetzt einfach dauerhaft mit der Sommerbräune die Jogi immer in jedem ersten Länderspiel nach der Sommerpause spazieren getragen hat😭#also can't decide what I love me the fact that there are fans who raised their very young kids to know who LP10 is or that there are fans#who told their children enough legends about Jogi that they're now asking for a selfie. Köln fans my club affiliation dictates that I am no#really allowed to vibe with you but actually you all got my heart🫶
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow that i've had in my calendar for 2 months (almost 3)#and because i'm me i have been thinking and stressing about it for those 2 months (almost 3)#tomorrow is supposed to be over and i'll finally relax (for a bit cause i'll probably have to do blood work etc etc)#and now my mom put into my head that maybe (we don't know she's not sure) MAYBE the doc will have to like check me#and so i will have to remove clothing which i was so not prepeared for and i'm not sure what my reaction will be on the day#because that makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable... and like i get it you're going to the doctor it could happen but also?#i need to at least imagine it for a week i can't be told this THE DAY BEFORE#now i'm freaking the fuck out#and up until today my major anxiety was ''am i gonna ask the doc about starting t? or should i wait until she does the tests i need done#in case she turns out to be very transphobic and i have to drop her?''#like that was my biggest worry now i have like a million more#i hate this i hate my brain and i hate that i can't have ONE THING i need to do IN THE YEAR without going into panic mode for 3mths straigh#my brain is so fucking useless#angel talks#personal
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
dying rn i have a graphic for work i need to finish because we're trying to make an announcement tomorrow. but we are still missing two of the necessary headshots. so i like have this thing 95% done but. can't finish it until these ppl's agents get back to us 😭
#and the maddening thing is they are like. famous enough people that there ARE headshots of them easily available online BUT#we have to wait to use whatever specific ones we are actually given by their reps for contract reasons.#(even tho they may very well end up being the same ones you can find on google images)#like its just the thing of im STUCK like my brain wont let me relax until this is done. but i can't DO ANYTHING YET#will prob delete later i just need to yell into the void for a sec#grandpa max is god? i go to church now
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's been a good week. The first good week I've had in a while. I hope you all also have better days coming your way
#i made a chore chart for me and my sister. we live in a trash heap because we can't find the motivation to do anything#so i made a chart and assign her chores because her adhd gives her severe decision fatigue#the chores are non-negotiable they must be done before we get to do a fun thing/relax#shes already taken out 6 bags of trash this week. i set it outside the front door so when she comes home from work she can take it to the#dumpster without having to think about it or even coming inside and losing motivation#i also got approved for food stamps until November so now we get $300 a month for groceries and holy shit its fantastic#i got it on tues and they back payed for 2.5 months since i applied#so i got almost $700 to go stock up our foid yesterday. i went to Sam's and got bulk canned goods that we haven't been able to afford#i got meat and snacks and bulk seasonings because i go through garlic and onion powder so quickly and its expensive buying small bottles#our fridge is full for the first time in probably 6 months#i got a referral to an obgyn for the first time ever and in 2 weeks i go to my first ever pap smear because i have medicaid for reproductive#care. not for anything else but its a start#my mom sent me the newest book in my favorite series and i get to read it!#i feel like this all happened because i set things in motion. I'm done sitting around waiting for help because its not coming
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
patrick and teresa are so pathetically in love atp homegirl really wanted him to protest against the idea of her moving to dc with marcus and felt lowkey disappointed that he actually supported the idea 💀 but it was so painfully obvious that he wasn't comfortable with that but he didn't wanna interfere with her decision bc although he doesn't want her to be away from him he just wants her to be happy and he knows marcus is treating her right and he's probably thinking "oh he's so much better for her than i could ever be" and 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 fuck this show i haven't cared this much about a ship in YEARS
#calli watches the mentalist#it's been a while#stopped watching it a few months ago but then my therapist asked me if i had finished it#and when i said no she encouraged me to do so bc it'd be good to have a moment to relax#so she suggested watching it before bed#bc allegedly watching an episode of something before bed could help me sleep better bc i'd be more relaxed#i don't think she was counting on the heatwave making me sleep all day and consequentially stay up all night though#my blood pressure goes 📉📉📉📉📉 when it's too hot and i end up going 😴😴😴😴#anyway i'm rambling. guess i'm sleepy now#but i'm staying up until 12 pm i can't miss soobin's cover#🌙.txt
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the pipes will be like hey have you heard of noises? well i am about to make all of them
#kot#And there will be no discernible rhythm and they will be the loudest thing in the world and occasionally they switch sounds#right now it sounds like someone is rolling marbles around up there#it was the taps that woke me up though#and I don't have anything to cover the noises up so i can't go to sleep because like#there's no regularity i can't relax into ignoring it#it only does this when we have the heat on which double sucks bc while yes the ambient temperature in the house does increase#my room doesn't have vents. and is where all the pipes are#so i get to listen to all this shit and be kept awake by it until i want to scream. and i do not even get a heated bedroom out of it#its fine because its my day off so i will get to nap today but i am really not satisfied with the 4 hours i got so far
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe
#literally the only thing i'm supposed to do is study#am i doing it? nope of course. i have less than a month left to take exams and i should take at least 2 but i haven't opened a book in more#than a month and the thought fills me with dread and i literally physically cannot do it#it's possible that going back to my uni flat would help (it would be a change in scenery for sure) but on wednesday it will be a year since#my father died and there's this fucking church thing and my mother won't force me to stay but i really should. shouldn't i?#after all it's already saturday and i've already wasted 40 days. what's half a week more?#i keep staring at the list of exams and i know that if i spent every waking second studying i could get back on track and graduate when i'm#supposed to graduate but 1. it's not healthy and 2. my brain refuses to study for ONE exam let alone 14 so it's unrealistic#and at this point i should just accept that i'm going to graduate one year late and one year after all my friends because last year i did#absolutely nothing. and last autumn started out great. i moved. i was organised. and then the first week of october my mother was at the#hospital and i had to go home for a week and somehow i let that week screw up my entire semester#and now i'm panicking because i have only 18 days before the exam i'm supposed to take and it doesn't feel enough for everything i have to#study but it's not going to get better if i just let all the days pass without doing anything but i can't i can't i can't#so yeah i should be kind to myself and accept i'll need one additional year for all the exams and take it slowly which is the only way to#actually get things done. but i don't want to. i don't want to tell my mother that i failed at the one thing i'm supposed to be doing#but i really really can't it's hard and i'm failing and my head is screaming that i don't deserve hobbies and yet i keep wasting my days#it's one am and i should either sleep or relax because it's not like i can do anything now and yet i feel like i need to fix my entire life#right this second or i'll explode. i'm so tired of my thoughts.#please ignore all this ^ because i know most of it is irrational or whatever and i DON'T WANT to hear rational things#if you've read until here and really want to say something just tell me that right now i'm allowed to relax#any other comment would make me feel worse#💖💖💖#**one month left to take exams this semester not forever hahaha but then i'd be supposed to take all the remaining exams in the summer#and i can't possibly take 14 exams between now and july which is why i'm panicking (there are other logistically confusing things in what i#said but i wanted to clear this one up at least lmao) (i'm already feeling vaguely better can't you see?)
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
...
#the burdent of not being understood. its annoying and i dont like it. also its my fault#because if u say something serious in a light tone ppl dont kno wtf to do. prob bc they dont kno if ur delusional or not and like dont#wanna upset u. but then its like annoying bc they still walk away worried and im like ok neither of us r happy bc u dont get how serious#thjs is but i cant tell u how serious it is without making u worried. and y should i make u worry if u can't fuckinf do anything abt it?#so its just annoying. which is to say i went to a retirement lunch today and it was as awkward as i imagined#bc it was me and my boss and a couple professors and i dont do well in these group situations anything so i spent a lotta time spaced out#not hearing anyone bc the noise in the room was messy and my brain was peeling away from my body. but whatever i was there. and my boss#drove us both and on the way back she started the. im worried abt u talk. which i feel like she was too hesitant abt it. which like i get#bc its awkward to bring up but like i dont give a fuck so idk i feel like u gotta start those conversations like. this is how watching u#makes me feel. idk whatever. and i was honest but like it was a 5min car ride so i didnt have thr time to be like ok heres the deal. ya#kno? so now im all annoyed bc my brain is fucking unbearable when i feel like i havent made my thoughts clear. and now its like. do i bring#it back up? or just let it go? whats to be gained by talking abt it? all that i have to say is upsetting bc im very aware im being self#destructive. thats the point. i get boried and my brain only lets me do like 2 things so i use those things to make myself insane. bc at#least then i can observe the symptoms of the stress im exherting on myself. and i kno that not good bc idk how to stop and ppl r always#like u gotta relax. what will help u relax? and im like u dont fucking understand. i cant regulate thr amount i like things. if i like#something i like it so much it becomes stressful. and i like drawing but its not relaxing. its a thing i have to do and its stressful bc im#constantly thinking abt making things perfect and never meeting thst mark. my happiest memories arent even happy moments theyre just times#where my brain stopped for a second and i could just breathe for a minute. so like i cant relax. i dont like anything a normal amount so#the solution must be medication. but my brain has decided im not allowed to fix this problem until i move away so like 🙃 and like i was#giving little bits of this in the car but its like lady i kno its a problem. ive known its a problem for years. the self awareness doesnt#help. except that it keeps me from doing anything extremely bad bc for me if i at least kno where it comes from i can b like ah yes. this#is fucking stupid lol. but i dunno how me sharing all this helps bc im sure it only raises the worry. but like its fine. i mean its not but#like ya kno. and i was kinda explaining how upsetting it is for me to have my schedule changed without warning even if its for things other#ppl would see as good and i wasnt thst firm abt it so it was: but i can't just do nothing for u! and i was like ugh fuck it fine whatever.#and like do i bring that back up bc it is like a respect my boundaries thing but like i feel like if i were anyone else it would be good#to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in#groups. ugh its just fucking annoying bc i dont want her to feel bad. i appreciate the effort but like ugh its exhausting. whatever. it was#anyway. im just annoyed thst i should have explained things better. also im annoyed thst i constantly forget most things taste bland and#then im annoyed when i hsve to eat bland things. i think my nose doesnt work right bc i csnt smell much either#unrelated
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
eating a girl out for the first time? as someone with a couple of decades' experience (i started young, ok?), can i offer some advice?
take your time. your aim isn't to make her come as fast as possible, it's to make sure she enjoys every moment. slow down, revel in the process of finding out what she likes.
tell her how beautiful she is, how tempting her cunt looks, how intoxicating it smells, how sweet she tastes. she might be feeling vulnerable, especially if she's inexperienced too - it's your job to make her feel safe and adored.
enjoy the journey - i know you just want to feel your tongue on her clit NOW, but exploring her thighs, working your way slowly to her folds, trailing all the way up her cunt, drinking her juices, letting her feel your breath before she feels your touch...it'll be worth it. for both of you.
learn to read her body with all of your senses. she might be vocal but she might prefer to bite her lip or enjoy being gagged. you don't need to hear her words to know what to do. you'll feel her muscles twitch and relax - learn what it means when she lifts her hips, squirms or sinks into you. she might taste and smell differently when she is close to coming for you. pay close attention to her clit - if you're lucky and you've done a particularly good job, you might see it twitch as she recovers from the perfect orgasm. enjoy it.
you can be vocal though. moan into her. use every sensation you can. light flicks to determined, long, slow licks. blow gently on her wetness. how does she react to your lip piercing? your teeth?
build and add to the experience until she's completely overwhelmed. play with her nipples. run your nails over her skin. lift her legs and spank her.
chances are, she'll get to the point where she really needs you to fuck her. slip your tongue all the way down and inside her. if you can't breathe, you're doing it right. that means you probably won't be able to keep it up for hours, so save this move for when she's right on the edge and you're ready to let her tip over.
if you're especially lucky and she's a squirter, you will get absolutely soaked. enjoy it. show her you're enjoying it. moan into her cunt; she'll come even harder.
if she needs to be fucked harder, slip your fingers inside her cunt and curl them up towards your tongue as it circles her clit. all of her most sensitive nerves will be between your tongue and your fingers. you'll be able to feel every tiny twitch inside her; it's the most beautiful place in the world to be.
when she can truly take no more, stay close to her as you drift away from her cunt. kiss your way up her tummy and her chest, let her taste herself on your lips as you hold her and let her ride out the aftershocks. trail your fingertips over her back. whisper in her ear. tell her everything you loved about eating her out.
#lesbian nsft#sapphic nsft#wlw nsft#dykeposting#wlw yearning#sapphic#lesbian smut#my posts#femme lesbian
33K notes
·
View notes
Text
☆ gojo is so big that you have to go slow with taking him otherwise he will break you. and he loves that fact—he’s so cocky about it, about how every aspect of him is so overwhelming to you that you can’t take his cock without crying.
and they’re good tears, tears that taste good on his tongue when he licks them from your cheeks. tears that spring hot in your eyes with every inch he manages into you—he’s too much, though at the same time you can never get enough of him.
“gonna finally take all of me tonight, baby?” he mocks you, grins at the way your eyes squeeze shut as he rubs at your clit in hopes of relaxing you a tad. “you know, i could flip us over.. let gravity do the hard work.”
you accept because it sounds good in theory. gojo flips you both over and lays on his back as you find purchase with your fingers splayed over his heaving chest. but being like this, with satorus pulsing dick still barely half inside of you, you realise gravity hates you.
because although you're dropping just that little bit further down on his cock, your legs are trembling like it's an effort to keep you off of him. and gojo, being the cocky man he is, takes hold of your hips and works you even further downwards onto his length.
"fuck," is all you can manage, he's painful and narcotic all in the same stroke and so deep inside of you that you swear he's in your stomach. you shake your head, "i can't. you're too big, im sorry."
satoru shakes his head, looks up at you with those lust-blown eyes of his and smiles. "you want me to pull out?"
and as he tries to pull you up and off his length, slow as not to hurt you, there's a look on his face that you can't miss. he's so pretty when he's plotting, but you're only given a second to admire him, because just as he's about to pull the tip of his aching cock out of you, he lets go of your hips.
and your legs fail you, your body collapses downwards and you, in turn, are impaled on his prodigious length once again. you could cry, you think you do—your cheeks are wet when you fall forwards and your gasp of shock is swallowed by gojo, who kisses you hungrily. his fingers dig into your hips as he smiles against your kiss.
you feel his cock twitch inside of you, deeper than you've ever been able to take him before, and you realise you're practically at the base. you've never felt so full... so good... so stretched out and overwhelmed. and when your boyfriend tests the waters and fucks up into you just a little, a breathy moan is drawn straight from your lungs.
"toru—"
"shh," he snaps his hips up again to stall your words. "finally gonna cum inside of you, baby, not pulling out until you're left just as full as you are now."
and if your lover is anything at all, it's a man of his words. you'll have to call in sick tomorrow.
#gojo smut#jjk smut#satoru gojo smut#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
It is not my place to parent my younger siblings.
It is not my job to raise my younger siblings.
It is not my responsibility if my younger siblings are not good people.
My place, job, and responsibility is to to help guide them in a good direction.
It is not my fault if they end up being the most fucked up people in existence because I'm doing what I can.
I try so hard, and for what? They're not my children and they're not my responsibility. If my parents ask me to make sure the little ones don't kill each other while they're gone, that's fine. That's my job then. But anything more than that is at my own discretion.
It's so hard to remind myself that it's not my place to raise them. That I need to step back. I didn't choose to be born and I certainly didn't choose to have them.
I'm barely an adult for fuck's sake I didn't ask for this shit I shouldn't be stressing over whether the little ones know not to scream in public or blatantly stare at people with disabilities
#“well don't stress about it it's not your job” THANKS FOR THAT YOU MADE IT MY FUCKING JOB BECAUSE YOU WON'T FUCKING DO IT YOURSELF#“I already raised 6 kids I shouldn't have to deal with this anymore” YOU HAD 5 MORE HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT MAKE IT MY PROBLEM I DIDN'T MAKE#I'm not as mad as I sound right now I'm just frustrated over shit that's been happening more and more over the past few years#I can't wait until I'm financially independent and can leave#and then they have the fucking AUDACITY to make jokes about me getting a boyfriend and eventually having kids#Like no thanks I have more experience parenting than most mothers I think I'm good#I go on 5 and a half mile walks in the 90+ degree heat because it's the only way I can be alone and relax#Big sister shit#Younger siblings#Parenting#parents#children#families
1 note
·
View note
Text
. . .
#i hate small children i hate small children i hate small children#this sucks so bad why'd i have to get stuck taking care of one nearly 24/7#she's not even MY KID i didn't fucking ask for this#i hate this stupid fucking situation i'm stuck in and i can't even LEAVE#because she was born before i could learn how to drive and now i'm forced into a schedule that leaves no time for anyone to teach me#which fucking sucks because i Have family members willing to teach me but i'm never given the chance to take up their offers!#gods as soon as can leave i'm ghosting these fuckers until i can get a proper handle on my mental health#cause my sanity's been down the fucking chute and i never get breaks long enough to properly destress#especially because most of the ''breaks'' i do get i'm still basically ''on call'' during so i can never actually Genuinely RELAX EVER#i hate my life i hate this this sucks so bad#cuz like i finally get to a place in my life where i want to live and have my suicidal thoughts managed but then all This Shit drops on me#vent
1 note
·
View note
Text
WOOF i blew that! can i get a hip hip hoo-ray?
#p#the problem wasn't too hard i just kept choking at funny times bc i clearly haven't practiced enough#like i needed to look up for..in loops and array.filter#also i made the mistake of not pseudocoding my data structure initially so i was fumbling for a while until my interviewer gave me that tip#okay now that's off my plate i need to think about what i want to do next#i think i need to just commit to taking a break right now i can't keep doing this half-assed job prep half-assed relaxation
0 notes
Text
can't get much better
pairing: ghost / simon riley x fem reader summary: simon is forced to take some time off - he makes the most of it. tags/warnings: very soft, pregnant sex, size difference, softdom!simon- he's a masculine man who doesn't let his lady lift a finger :'), oral (f), one (1) butthole kiss, dacryphilia, daddy kink (sigh), minor minor foot stuff, allusions to injuries and chronic pain, title from an adrianne lenker song w.c: 2.5k
You try very hard not to think about it, but it's hard not to notice how massive he is.
Even shirtless, he somehow looks bigger, muscles flush with heat and exertion under the sun. He toils and breathes hard like an ox, working while you sit on the porch wrapped in his big flannel. Wearing his clothes is like being swaddled in a blanket straight out of the dryer, warm and nostalgic and syrupy with love. It leaves you feeling some type of tender. You're afraid of that feeling sometimes, of how soft it is and how soft it makes you. He could ask anything of you, and you'd yield like he was pressing his thumb into a bruised peach.
You have.
"How are you two?" Simon is so quiet when he wants to be. One would think he'd clomp like a horse with how big he is, but he can float like dust. It used to startle you, but you've been sinking deeper into the memory foam mattress of this life with him and it doesn't anymore.
"Tired, even though I'm not doing anything," you squint at him through the late afternoon sun. It haloes him like an angel.
"You're growing my baby in there, love. That's not nothing," his voice is rough, it always will be. But it's rough now like earth and soil rather than rough with pain and smoke the way he'd sounded when you met him.
You're feeling especially nostalgic, it seems, not like it's hard here. His hand is warm on your belly.
"I guess so," you let him pet you for a moment. Your stomach is swollen but not as big as it'll get, just enough to veto pants. A few months to go still. "How's your back?"
"Argh," Simon says, taking a heavy seat next to you. Dismissive and yet he groans a little when his muscles unclench. Classic.
You slowly reach up and nudge him until he's facing the field opposite to you, face toward the golden afternoon sun and his back to you. He's never asked you to do this, to take care of him, but it's your favourite thing in the world.
His back is always rock-hard no matter how many times you take your knuckles and fingers to it. Just a condition of a hard life lived for him, countless falls and impacts and pushing through injuries. There's a slight slant to his spine now that isn't there in the pictures he's shown you of his youth, but the stiffness is the same. You might've said he was born to be a soldier, had you not known him as a father. He could do both, but - you'd never say this out loud - you were privately grateful for this injury. It wouldn't take him out forever, but the recovery would be long. Long enough to get the homestead started, to get you pregnant.
Simon would never be completely still. This was compromise. Sweet compromise, a life started and time with him you could think back on the next time he shipped out. Making the most of things, he would always say. Making the time count.
"That feels good, love" he groans. Bending forward slowly, relaxing, he's like an aloof stallion finally accepting an apple from your hand. Acquiescing. Showing you his back. It's trust, and you savour it.
"I bet it does," you tease back, just a little. Your fingers are nimble and attuned to his specific aches and pains. "Are you hungry for dinner?"
"I'm hungry for something," he turns, slowly, hands reaching for your thickened waist. Huge, work-roughened hands. War-roughened hands, holding you like a delicate egg. Sometimes it feels like he's the only thing that holds you together; all your pieces, everywhere, until he's holding you.
Kissing him is a contact sport. It's his hands moving, cupping your breast and then your pussy through your panties, your own hands wrapping around his broad shoulders like he's the only thing keeping you from drowning. It's open-mouthed, breathing into each other. Impossibly, you get softer, melting like ice on a hot day.
Before you can lean back on the bench, he stands and lifts you with him. He's still hot from the day, damp with sweat, pushing you into the house while kissing you still.
"Simon-" you start, with no goal in mind. "Please."
"I've got you, love," he murmurs. He always does. Before you know it, you're laid back onto the plush armchair in your living room. Simon knows this is the most comfortable place for your newly-aching body. Affection swells in your chest uncontrollably and comes out through your eyes leaking down your face. Sure, pregnancy makes people emotional - but you're still embarrassed, touched by how considerate he is.
"It's alright, shh," he thumbs the tears at the corner of your eyes. His cock tents his work pants, aroused by them. "Let me take care of you."
The next words he murmurs are into your cunt, right over your panties, tongue laving over the already-wet fabric. "Just need your daddy, don't you?" You clench in tandem with his words, hot all over, skin prickling. He pushes your dress up, bunching it right under your tits.
It's reminiscent of how you spent the first night with him, on the very first day you'd met. Hurried, his big head between your thighs and clothes hanging off you still while he made you fall apart.
He's fucking good at it, too. Pulls your panties to the side and builds up the pressure with which he sucks on your clit, softly and then harsher until you shake. You've been extra horny lately, always wet around him and always so swollen. The scrape of his five-o-clock shadow against the sensitive skin of your inner thigh is what tips you over, clamping his head tightly and shouting your orgasm into the heady summer air.
"That all it takes?" Simon grins, chin wet, fingers moving from your hips to your pussy to gently rub along your slit.
"Give me a second, please," it's humbling how quickly you come nowadays. Quick and intense. Fireworks.
You set your foot on his shoulder and he turns towards it, kissing your ankle. Patience is rare with him, something come about only since you confirmed your pregnancy. You miss being overwhelmed by him, miss the nights where he'd guide you over the edge one, two, three times in succession.
He pushes now, just a little, not waiting for your go-ahead but watching you intently. His fingers spread your cunt in a V and he puffs a breath on your sensitive clit. You jump. He grins again, leaning down to lick you, using one hand to hold both your legs under your knees and push them until they meet the soft bump of your belly.
"Hold them there," he says. It's spoken not to you, but to your hole, which he spears his tongue into. You obey as you're helpless to do, holding your legs up and giving him an unimpeded view. It's more than vulnerable, it's not only baring yourself to him completely but giving him the authority to do what he wants. What you need.
Simon eats you out like it's a kiss, slurping you down and letting you leak until the evidence of your weakness to him is all over you. Your legs are wet, and it drips down onto your other hole. He pushes a thumb into your cunt, dipping it in and out.
"Needed me, did'ya? Watched me all day," he's so smug, sometimes. His lips find your bare foot, kissing your sole. "Been wet like this all day?" His other hand finds the meat of your asscheek, spreading you open further, letting the split of you open to him. He leans down, kissing your inner thigh, then your other hole. You whine and clench your pussy around his thumb.
"So needy," he murmurs, finally finally moving back to your clit. Flicks his tongue over it, something that might've been teasing before but is intense now. Your hands tighten against your legs, head thrown back.
"Oh please- Simon!" You shout again, abs drawing up, stars in your eyes. "Ahh- I'm-"
"I know, honey," his lips suction again around the hard little pebble of your clit, eating like a man starved.
This is how he likes you. Losing control, coming apart, helplessly vocal against the onslaught of his tongue. No matter how many times you've done this, it never gets old. The release almost always makes you cry, especially intense like this. You're wet all over, face and cunt and legs. He is, too.
"You still with me, love?" He pets your flank like you're a horse.
"Yes," but that's not what he wants.
"Yes what?"
"Yes, daddy."
"Good girl," and fuck if that doesn't always fill you with warm fuzzy energy. Wipes your brain, keeps you soft and floaty.
He guides you up and out of the armchair, lifts you into his arms when your legs shake too much. That electric feeling is still coursing through you, tingles in your extremities as they come back to life.
The hand he strokes over you is half affectionate, half proprietary. You've been his since the first time he laid eyes on you.
He reminds you of it as he sets you down gently on the bed, your hair a halo around your head and hands reaching to his face where you pull him down for a kiss. Hands find his shirt, pulling it off you, and then the dress. Fingertips touch the headboard, your arms stretching up, making room for him. Slips your panties down your legs.
It's a lingering, indulgent kiss. Breathing each others air, gasping into his mouth, he puts his elbows by your head and lays as much weight down as he can without cramping your full belly. He's as vocal as you, groaning and rutting like a dog.
"Ready for me, sweet girl?" He leans out of the kiss, sitting back on his heels. You nod, desperate and pulsing between the legs again like you didn't just come twice.
"Daddy's gonna take care of you, don't you worry," he rearranges you like a doll, turning you to your side and getting between your legs. A pillow is tucked under your belly, and he tests your flexibility by holding your leg tight to the length of his body. Your hamstring burns a little with it.
A hand holds your knee, another to your waist. His jeans scrape against your sensitive skin.
You focus on little details. His scar, touching his eyebrow and splitting through his nose, ending down by his jaw. The knuckles on his fingers holding your knee, and how rough the pads of his fingers feel on your waist. This man has never had soft hands in his life. Those same hands capable of so much force, so much violence, the very same that hold you and guide you. A shepherd, you his lamb.
The weeping head of his cock kisses your hole, catching there and traveling up. He taps it against your clit until you're tensing, whining, needy again. Tears down your cheeks.
He steadies you, pets your waist, guides his cock inside and it feels like you can breathe again. His mouth laves hot kisses over your ankle, the sole of your foot again, reverent and controlling all at once. The stretch burns - it always does, and maybe always will. Simon is just so big, thick all around and the mushroom head of him could always bump your cervix if he's not careful.
He's careful now, but only just. You can sense his control fraying, his hips driving forward steadily but his thighs tensing and his grip getting meaner. This is your favourite part. Watching him sweat, breathe hard, taking his pleasure in you.
"Yeah-" he cuts himself off with a long, drawn out groan. Deep, from the bottom of his belly and out. "Already so full of me, aren't ya? Can't get full enough."
You plead with your sounds, words out of your grasp. Your hands clutch at the sheets but it isn't enough. He's solid, he's your anchor, but he's losing himself in your cunt and you're free falling.
"Play with your tits for me," he commands, pumping faster. You're reflexively tightening around him, clit jumping for attention, squeaking each time he lets himself in as deep as possible and touches the mouth of your cervix.
Sunlight slowly fades on the bed, the last golden rays escaping out the window as you're bathed in dusk.
There's nothing to do but obey, hands finding your swollen breasts and squeezing. They've been sore and huge, like that week before you get your period only it's been a couple months. None of your bras fit anymore.
Simon appreciates it, he loves it. Has you cooking for him with your tits out, nipples peaked and pussy leaking. They bounce, now, stopped only by your hands pinching and twisting. It's insane - no one in the world could replicate the feeling. No artist, no musician. Electricity zips from your breasts down to your clit and shit - you might come just like this, untouched, just full of your man and fondling yourself.
"Fuck, I can feel you squeezing me. Fucking," he pants, leaning over you, bending your leg. "Pinching my dick, sweetheart. Your pussy's so fucking good."
The orgasm begins in your toes, tingling. Your muscles tighten, drawing up, up, towards your cunt, which is making obscene sounds around him.
Simon sees the signs, sees your eyes rolling and your body going taut. He abandons your leg in favour of rubbing your clit with two big fingers quickly, up and down.
"That's it, sweetheart, come all over my cock. Go on," his voice is a snarl, barely distinguishable as human, beastly. "Be good for daddy.”
It's like the crescendo of an orchestra, like a summer afternoon in august, like waking up without a clogged nose after being sick, it's - really fucking good. You're near sobbing, crying out his name, abandoning your tits to reach for him desperately. He meets you halfway, shuddering his own orgasm into you. The press of his hips against yours is better than buttered toast, the delicate press of his chest against yours as he lets your leg go is bliss.
"Si-imon," you slur, hands on his cheeks. He laughs and kisses your forehead.
"What's that, sweet girl?"
"I love you," you cry a little more then, feeling him pull out and lay next to you. You're boneless.
"I love you too," his arm reaches across you, pulling you into him. "Both of you." Hand on your belly again.
"That was insane," you pant. He barks a laugh against your hair. "I'm serious."
"I know you are, love," he kisses your forehead, petting your stomach. You can tell it's meaning, can feel the gratefulness behind the kiss. He's saying thank you, for staying with him, for making him a father. Your hand finds his, squeezing back a wordless reply. Of course, it says.
<3
#or> local citygirl listens to too much adrianne lenker and imagines simon getting you pregnant and living on a farm <3#he's definitely ooc i have a hard time writing men#BUT this is writing practice so whateva#cod x reader#cod mw2#task force 141#141 x reader#drgnfly writes#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon riley imagine#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#im so bad at ending things lol#mdni#18+ mdni#simon riley cod#reader x simon riley#idk#hehe#i found the images on pinterest btw
3K notes
·
View notes