#And its not that bad i didnt need hospital or any but i do feel a little bads

[mejomonster]

I hate panic attacks

[gameclam3]

I think i have a concussion u know what I should do? I should rewatch fire walk with me

[the-alarm-system]

the future needs to be plural: anti psych, anti cops

tw psych ward mention

I'll be honest, Scald isn't down to earth, he's a fictive who doesn't know he's a fictive. He doesn't understand systemhood and syscourse and etc. To him, he somehow appeared in here and escaped night city. I don't mind any of this, I love him infinitely. I don't want people to reality check him because as someone whose felt delusions, even if its different, I understand what its like to be told that your reality didnt happen. And he's endured so much in his exomemories I would not let anyone tell him he didnt actually endure it.

I love him dearly, but others wont.

The future has to be plural for us, I don't care how you see the phrase I'm on my knees begging for you to let it be plural

He will front more, I know he will. What if he says something someone doesn't understand? What if he gets scared and confused and someone was to call the cops on him? What if he got held into a cell and told that Scald isn't his name and that he needs to explain stuff he can't remember? What if he got screamed at by someone he didn't know?

What if he said or did something that got us hospitalized? Would they treat him with the love I do? Would they be nice to him? Would they reality check him? would they scream at him?

the cops wont love him the way I do, cops hate people like us, cops hate psychos like me

the cops will beat psychotic people, what will they do to him in the small body he doesn't feel familiar in?

what will the psych ward force him to do? what if they traumatize him bad? what if its just night city to him again?

tbh,

it doesn't matter if you're anti endo or pro endo, to the cops and wards you're another freak who needs to be silenced

we need abolition, we need the future to be plural, we need to protect eachother

we need to protect eachother

[thecluelessdoctor]

hi

so recently

i was watching a bunch of videos on blogthegreatrouge

and remembered my once love for PJs Daycare. but now i know its disgusting like.. so bad. so is she. i just. ugh.

so, im going to remake it. i mean remake that shit i will do my best to make it better. starting with removing all the fankids characters and ships because.. sanscest is w e i r d.

anyway, for the people who some how dont know what im talking about is heres a summery. if i spelled that wrong shut up no i didnt

Tw: SA, suicidal thoughts I suppose, gr00ming basically

pjs daycare was a AU for undertale made by blogthegreatrouge. the au, was as it says, a daycare. basically all the sans aus were children, from like 3-6 i think, and the characters were... sanscest ship characters or sans fusions. one of the caretakers, and our- basic mc, is Paperjam, or PJ, the fusion between ink sans and error sans. i say fusion because i think that what they were originally intended to be before the fandom... yoinked them. aslo i refuse to ship sans aus together because thats WEIRD AS ALL SHIT. anyway. those are the basics, shipkids/fusion sanses are the caretakers and the sanses are children. interesting concept ig (i will make it better trust)

ok now that we have the basics down, lets get to the story. this was a ask blog so there wasnt much story, but from what i do remember, there were 2 major plot lines. the first plot line was uhm. borderline gr00ming. basically fresh sans, the satire sans au, has a crush on PJ. this fresh is i think about 3 yrs old. so ok, hes a kid, kids are weird. he claims he wants to marry pj. again, child, children say that stuff alot. and you think pj would be yk, normal and be like " no no, we cant do that" nicely and shit. WELL HE DOESNT. THIS BITCH SAYS "we cant get married righ now, but when your all grown up we can ^^" IM SORRY HUH. SIR. WHAT. not only that, later, there is a ask of how would pj react to adult fresh. in which its super weird with really gross sexual tension. not only that, lets follow in this aus rule, aus made by the same creator/s are gonna be related. ok. error, fresh and geno/aftertale are brothers. kinda weird but lets keep going here. pj in rouges interpretation is a ship child. A SHIP CHILD. MEANING FRESHIE HERE IS IS UNCLE?? ITS SO WEIRD?? also there is a mini plot line where ink and error like each other and its a big deal even tho, again, CHILDREN. also same person but i digress.

our next plotline is... where shit hits the fan. so, error, gets deathly sick and needs to go to the hospital. didnt know monsters had hospitals but ok. geno, error's older brother who is at most, 5, gets really depressed. and ik depression can come at any age, however, GENO here tries to commit farewell. this. doesn't. make. sense. a child isnt old enough to even comprehend death that well, let alone have the feeling to die AND ACT ON IT. not only that, right after stopping geno from leaving this mortal plane (isnt he immortal though?) they completely forget about it and have this weird romance between palette and goth (swap sans and dream sans) (geno and reaper) and its super weird, and gross (not as gross as nerd and jock but still) and palette is weirdly obsessive over goth and shit so its all just a huge pile of SHIT

oh yeah there is also this weird plot line with like this trio of mini villains, one being rouges self insert i think so. yeah.

anyway, that was pj's daycare. i will be reworking and remaking the entirety of this au. so uh.

yeah.

it will be posted. anyway bye

[inconstantpain42]

I am not really sure how it's started. In July i had a polip removal and they put the mirena coil in me...i was bleeding all the tome and had some mild pain and discomfort. After my dad died i went to Poland to clean the house and to make gastroscopy because here in UK I could not afford it. Second day in Poland got me acute Bronchitis (I guess from the plain aircondition) and I ended up in hospital. It was nightmare, not sleeping, bad food but they got me better and I asked to be released after 5 days, and they did with antibiotic for the next 2 weeks. After that I went to do private endoscopy which gave me another 2 weeks of antibiotics. I didn't take it well and when I came back to UK doctor switched to different.5 weeks of antibiotics..in hospital they have checked my coil and they said its too deep so they repositioned it but it didnt help with pain or bleeding..A week after I came back I hurted my back by pushing on my own the huge chair upstairs which I bought for my daughter.

I dont know why I did this but the back pain was so severe I thought i will die....I got diazepam for few days on A&E and went to toilet and I think I strained myself to much with suppositories becasue the pain in my back worsen....and it's been already 2 months exactly 2 months like this...Pain from my back progressed to my low stomach and I lost function of bladder. I had catherer for 1month and the bladder is working but I don't feel when it's full, need to press with my hand on it to feel sharp pain than I know its time to go wee....I have a pain in my tail bone as well going to my annus and horrible pain of my vagina. My theory is it's a pelvic prolapse but the doctors don't want to check it. I had emergency clil removal and, believe me or not it will sort my problems. But it didnt.They done, here in Uk MRI scan and checked my kidney with cr scan, when I was in hospital for the kidney stones, and said they can't see problem. I have some bulges in my l4l5 and s1 but they said there is no nerve compression....I do believe I have prolapsed cervix or intestine cos after going to toilet the pain of my pelvic and back and annus it's unbearable...Painkillers not working. I forgot to say that since they catheterised me I had been having UTI 5 times (in 2 months) and some problems with my vagina after coil removed. All the time infections, trush etc. The worst part is that I started to horrible muscle cramps in my both toes, but right is much worse and I am loosing the feeling in my toes. Hard to walk...Maybe you ask yourself now if I am mental, believe me anyone would get depression and anxiety of they would be me. I never had any problems like that and I am not sure what is the cause and what is solution. Of there is any solution....? Today is really bad day. I barely slept, I strained the muscles on the toilet going 4 times today and no my back, anus and pelvic is killing me. I tried to have a sex twice, after organising o have such a horrible pain in my pelvic i can't stand it...not like is better without sex but after sex is maximum and it's hard to come. I have ruined my life I don't know which of the parts contributed but my life is over for sure. I didn't go to work for already 2 months I lost 10 kilos I weight now same as my 10 years old..My partner its not like my partner no more, noone cares about me, noone talks to me. I pushed away all of my friends becasue I am daily in so much pain I dont want to talk to anyone....Gabriel doesn't even care, he doesnt even ask how I am...neither my 10 years old. She is autistic but mild autism, so she should be more engaged right? I have enough of this pain and have w enough of myself....I am not sure how much longer I can stand this pain....I am exhausted from not sleeping...crying everyday. Someone's give me hope....please cos I have no hope. My hope it's gone. I dont know whats wrong with me. Why I am getting worse? I want to be back on my feet and be good mum again and back to work and be a better partner so maybe my partner will be better for me as well...I regret everything. I just want the pain to be gone..... Is it only in my head? I DONT THINK SO..

#pelvic

[book--wyrm]

Pengu Ep 7 liveblog time!!

Oh boy.

Oh we are starting strong with a flashback huh

Oh no we are starting strong with some brotherly jealousy. Two minutes in and I am already leaning towards Oz killing his siblings to monopolize his mom's attention

"Is [Rex's car] made of real gold?" "It's just paint"

Not Jack smarter at 15 than Oz is at 50

NOT THE "PARENT NOT BEING PAID ENOUGH" COMING BACK

Also I was wrong Oz is the middle child it seems.

Oz such a lil cheater lol

Oh my god.

Ohhhh my god. That's almost worse than anything I could have expected.

I should have realized. I should have realized. A single moment of stupid, thoughtless, selfish cruelty is all it takes. And an unwillingness to ever face the reality of what he did.

And this makes his snapping at Vic for the Jack thing so much worse. Jack was the son who got shit done. And Oz killed him.

THE TAPPING AND THE BANGING AND THE TAPPING AND THE BANGING AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FUCKIGN SHOW OH MY GOD I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS FUCKING SHOW HOW IS IT SUCH A BANGER EVEN WHEN IT MAKES ME WANNA DIE

Oh shit Vic's here lmao.

Why is there a gap between Sofia nabbing Francis and Sal showing up. Did sofia go it alone. I bet she did.

Fuck the guilt get me results

Love Sofia sending one of her boys to make sure Sal doesn't kill Oz. Sofia doesn't trust Sal, and Sal refutes the idea of Sofia leashing him. In any other show this would telegraph a late episode betrayal between them but with this show i really don't know

Love the scraping noise coming in before the visual

do you feel better ahhhhh

i need more sal and sofia

Sofia why cant you bring me breakfast too. i'll eat a singular toast for u

I love Francis ngl. She's so caustic even in the face of danger.

They didnt' have their umbrellas

Hahaha ngl sofia deserved that

oh my god i legit thought she was gonna brain julian with the kettle lmaoooo i love the way they do diegetic sound design

I kinda hope francis gets to kill julian ngl. i love julian but i just think its what francis deserves

"The Gigante and the Maroni families" not sal putting sofia's name first. this feels too prominent. i am scared

Oh boy oh boy oh boy if this wasn't a penguin show this would feel like a perfect place for Sal to twoface his opponent

Wow is sal dying of a heart attack. Right now? Bro. Timing.

Huh. I see what they're doing, with the stolen valor and the robbed victory. But I wish they'd set up the heart condition earlier.

Oh boy is this where Sofia breaks bad and kills a kiddo. Oh my god wait Gia is in a kid's psychiatric hospital Sofia literally reenacting her own trauma on this preteen she is so full of problems

SOFIA TURNING INTO HER DAD AND ALSO JULIAN HAHAHAHA

THIS IS A GIFT SOFIA BABY YOU NUTCASE

god i am glad she confessed though. like it was in the worst way possible to say that to a child but.

this is the only time we have seen sofia cry. not even when she found alberto.

DR SUBDROP DOING RAVE SHIT

sofia speedrunning self awareness in the penultimate episode

i am slightly afraid again that julian is gonna lobotomize sofia

sofia you were so close baby. you could have just walked away with your boy toy and a bag of cash and gone to metropolis

she should have gotten free wahhhhhhhhhh

we all know it's not gonna happen

we all know its not gonna happen

my heart is fucking palpatating rn

i need to pause my fucking blood pressure

IS SOFIA RUNNING FOR MAYOR. I WANT SOFIA TO RUN FOR MAYOR

AHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

OH MY GOD BOMB SHELTERING IN HIS BROTHERS GRAVES

HAHHAHAAH my prediction of Oz blowing it all to block sofia + sal was the wrong way around oh my god i love her so much

Oh wow. Wooowwwwww. Young Oz really breaking his mother and making her into the woman who makes him a monster.

is it bad i want him to find his brothers skulls down here. is that bad.

boo it didnt happen.

Wow mr cop actually came back huh.

well i was totally off base on everything!!! i am so happy

[vorpalfae]

I noticed you haven't been as active on social media as you were even a few months ago.. is there any reason? I hope ur okay🖤

aw thank you for checking up on me🥺 honestly i've been struggling on and off with my mental health and trying to find medication that works. i've had it switched a couple times recently and even had a super bad reaction to one that landed me in a mental hospital. (well it was a combination of medication and other stuff.)

i think ive finally found one that works but as most psyche meds do, they've been making me act different. i've grown a bit tired of the kind of content i've been making for a long time now. my interests haven't changed at all. i still have the same interests, i'm just bored of the way i've been presenting them and myself if that makes sense😂

idk if bored is the right word. the "aesthetic"/overall vibe of my social media usually reflects the way i feel. and right now when i log on i see all the things i like but its presented in a way that doesn't feel like myself. its still me but i think in the last couple months i've grown a lot now that i've actually taken steps to learn about my newly diagnosed autism and started getting legitimate help for my bipolar disorder.

what it really comes down to is i just need to organize my brain and my pages on here a lot. i plan on revamping my tumblr and all my other social media to fit how i'm currently feeling. but i just haven't felt like doing it because the smallest tasks like that have reaaally been draining me mentally. it fucking sucks. but its been a lot better since i've had a bit of time to adjust to all the changes i've made for myself.

so i'm thinking i'll probably do a big "update" to all my social media either within the next few days or soonish lol sorry its taken me so long to answer ur anon. like i said, i've been mentally exhausted for a long time now and i just didnt know what the problem was until i was able to start thinking more clearly. having bipolar disorder is so difficult. because its both mania and depression. and it makes it extremely difficult to organize my thoughts when i'm struggling. idk if "regular" ppl deal with that but its always been an issue for me.

my content will most likely still be the same. i just might start adding some new stuff here and there and incorporate a lot of the new styles and aesthetics i've been into as of late. and perhaps diversify my content a bit too, because i have a lot of interests and fascinations with many things that i don't even post about online! 🥰

i hope i was able to give u an answer in the least confusing way possible. i'm terrible at explaining things. especially about myself😂 hence why most of the questions i answer always end up being paragraphs 😭

[brideofbriar]

since glomas is coming up id like to say somethings specifically abt rollo

him hating mages is not racist as mages may be low in population but they're not a minority group as they usually hold high places in the world. faes on the other hand are a minority as they're discriminated against. rollo hates magic nd its users, not faes.

but he is also implied to hate fae. by his logic a person js a sinner only if they activly use magic, which means he has nothing against faes that don't use magic. except faes need maic to live nd so far we havent gotten any info abt faes who dont use magic so this point is debatable.

the only reason why people think that he is racist becuz he is twisted from frollo, a racist priest who has committed ethnic cleansing nd becuz twisted wonderland's writing is twisted wonderland's writing (aka not the best).

he can get redeemed if he faces judgement, punishment nd consequences for his actions nd truly grows as a person. also he should learn that the death of his brother was no one's fault nd that he cant discriminate against people becuz of an accident nd that his trauma doesn't excuse his actions. but knowing twst this probs wont happen.

edit:: i forgot to add this but he wants to wipe magic out completely which means wiping out faes nd fairys but the way he is presented shows that he isnt thinking of the consequences of his actions nd only the "positive" outcome, which makes sense considering he is eighteen.

also another thing that confuses me is that his thinking is not explained well because why would a teenager's first thought after loosing his younger be to exterminate magic? that makes no sense unless it was to get rid of the self blame or influenced by a third party. maybe if we get chapters abt rsa nd nbc after b7 it could be expanded on.

also also, rollo himself is a mage that hates magic, which is similar to sebek who is a half fae that hates humans. not completely the same as faes r a minority nd mages arent but both half internal conflict abt who theyre which causes them to have negative feelings abt that part of them. (idk if i explained this well)

also also also, in twst there is this whole parallel between that characters nd the villians theyre based one. the villians r evil while the twst charas r js traumatised teens with reason behind their behaviour, with rollo's reason is that HE believes that wiping out magic is for the best. we dont know anything bout rollo's parents so they might not be around or maybe theyre the ones who put this idea in his head.

another thing that people tend to forget is that rollo is 18. he was younger than that when his brother died nd no one ever tried to tell him that his thoughts r bad. blaming him for his trauma induced thoughts that were never shut down is not rlly the best thing to do. do i realise he is fictional? yes. but this is something many teen go through including myself. not the attempted genocide but still.

again js like in nrc, no one in nbc ever picked up on his behaviour nd tried to talk to him or stop (at this point bruv js blame the adults). crowley never picked on the struggles of his students until they overblot and the head of nbc didnt pick up on rollo's behaviour.

does this mean he is a saint. nah literally the opposite. nd to prove that imma list down all the things he did.

attempted murder

tried to kill the prince of brair valley which could cause a war

discrimination

generally a bad person with a bad attitude (nd a bad haircut)

plotted against malleus simply because he is one of the strongest mages

endangered innocent students

arson

attempting to justify his actions

nd even after all of that he got no punishment. at least he shouldve been expelled. at worst? probably jail or a mental hospital.

does this mean u cant hate him? nope. does this mean u cant like him? also no. do as u like, im js trynna educate. plz dont try to kill me 🙏 nd for the love of god js stop arguing.

[mazzystargirl]

ok living up to pinned post w some true confessions/dark secrets… so basically after i tried to kms in 2021 fall and went to the hospital i entered a really intense slut era and like started impulsively spending money and stuff too and i didnt have a job so i was like oh omg having a sugar daddy would work out really well for me and also i wanted to do things that would be like damaging or whatever idk why i did it rly. but anyway i engaged in some sugar baby behaviors. and then that winter break i went home from school and met up w some of my friends who ive known since i was a kid. now i have to give a little bit of context here cuz its important. so i have these 3 friends, one of whom ive known since i was 3 years old (N) and the other two since i was like 7 (S and J). and we all live in a very tight knit neighborhood/cultural community where mostly everyone knows everyone. and so my 3 friends parents know my parents. i guess you can see where this is going… but anyway i told them i had a sugar daddy or like it came up in conversation idk. and that was that. then literally the following AUGUSTTTT my mom comes to me and is like oh so some people in the neighborhood have been saying that you’ve been engaging in risky behaviors with older men and that youve been meeting them in hotels. so obviously i denied it very emphatically and tried to pry out who tf she heard that from and honestly i was like what like who could have even spread that and she said J’s mom told her and was lowkey rly cagey about it bc she didnt want to “break her daughter’s trust” and had asked other aunties about the situation like wtfff… and then i remembered i had mentioned to them over winter break so she must have fucking told her mommmm. i decided to assume best intent and chose to believe she was worried abt me and thats why she told her mom so i messaged her like hi did u tell ur mom abt this and i appreciate ur concern but i would have appreciated it if maybe u came to me directly and checked on me it would have been better and u lowkey hurt my feelings cuz now im stressed and anxious and don’t know whos saying what abt me etc etc. and then…

she fucking LIEDDDDD she said she didnt say anything to her mom AND that her mom didnt say anything to my mom!?? which i know is fucking bullshitttt 😭 like it makes 0 sense like if no one said anything is my mom just pulling shit out of the air and if she was how would she land straight on the money like that it just doesnt add up. so i was like um ok ?? uh have a good day. and decided to let it go and i lowkey don’t speak to her anymore and i told N and S that im not speaking to her but they can hang out w her if they want. and i forgot abt it.

but now i just moved back home after finishing school and its lowkey been eating away at me. it hurts me that she was my friend for 13 years and its all up in flames and i never got any closure or an apology or even her to admit or acknowledge the situation?? it hurts me to be at home worried abt what people are saying or thinking about me. i know i shouldnt care but what other people think of me bothers me. im not ashamed of myself and my choices but i don’t want other people to think less of me. i don’t want to reach out to her bc what if she doesn’t care at all about the situation ??? i don’t want to be like this has been eating at me forever and it really hurt me and her to be like what r u talking about i don’t think about you at all. she also just got into med school and im happy for her for real like glad shes doing well its just like. she hurt my feelings really bad :(

anyway if you read this far… what should i do 🥲 is the only path forward trying to let go… tbh i think i just need someone to validate my feelings like am i right to be hurt or is it all my fault and should i beg for forgiveness 😭 like my friend N got coffee w her a couple weeks ago and brought it up to me twice what does that even meannnn

[secret-sturniolo]

just a long vent. read (or dont) idc

not that anyone really cares, but i just have some things i need to get off my chest because im currently alone in my room crying in the dark.

let me preface this by saying i dont have any friends. i literally do not have a single person i can talk to. i dont even have a therapist because she just quit. the last friend group i had, i found out they had a secret group chat where they were shit talking and making fun of me. so, the closest thing to friends i have are my 151 followers and the people in this fandom. when i log on here and i see that people have interacted with me or like my works, thats literally the highlight of my day. so to anyone who has talked to me or shown me support, i truly thank you and i love you.

if you met my family, you would think we have it all. my parents own a successful business, they (appear) happily married, and my brother and i have everything we could ever want or need. but heres the truth:

my parents are alcoholics. every night its the same thing. they get drunk, they fight and yell and say nasty things about each other until one of them goes to bed and they sleep in different rooms. im the one who has to mediate things. im the one who has to send my little brother to bed so he doesnt have to hear them. im the one who cleans up the spilled drinks. im the one who drove us to the hotel when my dad was being verbally abusive. and when my mom almost died in the ICU a month ago as a direct result of drinking, i was the one visiting her multiple times a day. i was the one at home doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, all of the cleaning, and bringing my brother to and from school ON TOP OF my own schoolwork and going to work every evening all because my dad is lazy and doesnt get out of bed until 1pm.

they swore to me that they were done drinking. and when they lasted 3 days and got drunk again, i didnt shame them. i didnt say anything at all. in fact, i showed them support.

wanna guess what i get in return for all of that?

i get told that im the one whos tearing our family apart, that if they get divorced its my fault. that maybe if i was nicer we would have less problems.

and god forbid that i have a bad day sometimes like a normal human being, because then i get accused of not taking my medications.

they also like to act like my mental health problems are harder on them than they are on me as if they didnt literally play a role in me developing them. a year ago i had to go to another state to receive inpatient and residential treatment because i was anorexic and suicidal. let me tell you, thats not a vacation. i have clinically diagnosed ptsd from things i witnessed there. all those times they had to take me to the hospital? yeah, not fun for me either. i promise you, nobody has tubes shoved up their nose just for shits and giggles.

you guys, im only 17. i havent even graduated high school yet. if this is what life is like now, im terrified to be an adult.

i mean it when i say that this fandom keeps me going. it makes me feel appreciated, even just a little. so if you made it to the end of this, thanks for caring enough to read this absolute dumpster fire of a post.

love you all <3

[cool-superwolfycat-posts]

HEADCANNON TIME FOR DEVIL THEORY!!

Imma start with them entirely then one by one! LETSGOOOO

*they all had the idea of becoming a gang after seeing the big three do their thing (before the big three broke up)

*they all live together in a big apartment inland, they all pay rent but most of them sleep around the pyramid

*they chose to use onis as their looks cuse all of them are giant nerd (sun most as he was adopted by an Asian family)

*they have made themselves law enforcers for the streets before DJ cyber did, they got banished after they confronted DJ Cyber about his suppose killing of felix (rumors by faux)

*for a side job they foster kittens (they have two cats of their own named Lu-Lu and Professor K)

*they all work at the pyramid so their banishment just made them work more XD

*all of them got mechanical legs cuse of Big devil losing them from a work accident and sun making the great idea of all of them losing their legs to make him feel better (it did make big devil feel better but he was so mad)

*All of their bad rep is from Sun as he is the most short tempered out of all of them

*for age it goes Big devil, Pluto, Lil devil and then Sun

*none can take a complement from anyone, if you do be prepared for a curse word and them booking it

*after losing their legs they had a hard time controlling how strong their legs where for months, but now they can kick people into next Tuesday with how hard it is now

*after the faux Project Algo incident Big devil was put into critical condition in a hospital as he was the one thrown, it really messed up the devil theory moral (mostly to pluto as hes the leader)

ok time for them individually

Pluto! *he was given the status as leader from beating Big devil in a point fight around the pyramid

*under all that brooding and seriousness he is a goofball

*he use to use inline skates before losing his legs, but now he skateboards as its easier on him

*his family is from Mexico so he will and can scream in spanish at you if pissed off enough

*has bad posture but is getting it fixed by the others yelling ay him

*he sneaks to the millennium mall to meet up with someone ALOT (i ship pluto with Cue from DOTexe)

*after the Project Algo incident he went to cyber to personally say sorry to him for the entire Devil theory gang, Cyber did forgive them as he knew they arent all bad

Big Devil (Aristotle) *he takes second in command as he knows Pluto need it

*does have heterochromia (but tents to hide it with a brown contact)

*he is like the dad of the group keeping them all together

*Big devil never really liked his name so he kept his nickname devil for everyones sake

*Never like Faux or how the cops worked but only followed as pluto said to

*he was friends with eight ball from DOTexe before the sniper incident, now he goes to where they hung out once to think of memories

*Hes taught all of the Devil theory members how to use their spray paints well, so they arent covered in paint all the time

*hes the real scary one out of all of them but hides it under alot of chill vibes

Lil Devil!(Socrates) *Him and Big devil are both brothers (blood brothers)

*Lil is known to join chaos if their is any, will stop it after the others come over

*lil is known to tattle on the others to Big devil if need be

*lil has copied his older brother alot and will do it by reaction now as they done it for the longest time

*may be the second youngest but acts alot like big devil if need be, he has yelled at people older then him for doing dumb things

*him and big are both from new Amsterdam, so they got the ropes

*He has on many times chose to kick people if they didnt listen to him to show what their dealing with

*He was the one to name professor K and never regretted it

*became even more short tempered after Big devil went into the hospital after project Algo

and finally Sun!!

*Sun was raised with their sister(shes part of futurisum) by an Asian family so they tend to do things by the book somewhat

*Sun had made all of the devil theorys outfits in a wild spree of inspiration and maybe 10 monster drinks, they are mostly made of metal to protect them from bullets

*Is the one most people think of when the words Devil theory are spoken as he is a short tempered lil dog who can and will bite

*Has a degree in engineering but never really uses it unless its for modifications on DT's legs

*has alot of old games stashed in their apartment and will not let anyone touch them, they are his babies and he will tell you so

*before joining the Devil theorys he had a way worse temper and ran away from his family cuse of it, he now thinks of Devil theory as his family now

*Sun has once bitten and torn someones flesh from being really mad, one of the main reason they were banished

*Pluto loves calling sun the nickname Sunny just to mess with him and so he gave pluto the nickname dwarf planet

[eddiegettingshot]

"im assuming I should be rooting for this relationship" this is the thing thats most confusing to me because are we supposed to be rooting for the relationship lmao because my own reading of it is "tommy doesnt call him buck and tommy was (rightfully) shocked buck wanted his attention and tommy didnt dress on theme for the party and tommy was (within his right) kinda mean on the one actual date we saw them on and buck doesnt know tommy's coffee order and tommy wasnt there when madney actually got married and also tommy has probably clocked something between buck and eddie" but also I follow some bucktommy enjoyers and theyre like "calling him evan is nice because tommy is helping buck find a part of himself and tommy gave buck space to figure himself out and didnt want to pressure him if he wasnt ready and buck and tommy still have to get to know each other and tommy came to the bachelor party even though he was on call and tommy came to the wedding as soon as he could, he didnt even shower, which shows hes making an effort for buck" which I think is like a completely fair reading of the relationship too sooo which is it. like Im mostly neutral on them but overall im rooting for buck to be happy and nothing about this is giving long term happiness for either character, its giving honeymoon phase for buck and 🤷‍♀️ could be fun for tommy. and also im not sure how you can watch both the bucktommy coffee date and the eddisol/chris ice cream date and not think theyre either both long term or both bones. coffee order/marisol not having had smores are both using metaphor/motifs to cast doubt on the relationship ??? anyways

right this is it for me. like i personally am also reading it the first way but i CAN see it the second way - except then even the good interpretation is colored for me by not really understanding what theyre doing on a higher level. is tommy at the hospital because he's making an effort or because buck just needed a funny way to come out? is tommy coming to the bachelor party even though he was on call outweighing the fact that pretty much the only thing he does in that scene is act a little bit dismissive and give eddie the chance to be petty? is evan connected to the emphasis on how much they don't know each other since we know he's supposed to be doing it on purpose? is the emphasis on how much they don't know each other a good thing (because buck's not jumping in) or a neutral/bad thing (because the pattern of the relationship and bucks general infatuation doesn't seem to be different from the way it's been with any other partner)? is eddie all over the narrative because it's convenient bait or because they're actively trying to juxtapose buck's new bf with his best friend and is that in service of buddie or bucktommy? is tommy supposed to be condescending and paternalistic or is he supposed to genuinely be guiding and they're just missing the mark a little by having him treat buck like he's immature? and the thing is that this conflicted feeling might be the point, but in that case i would DEFINITELY not expect this to be anything long-term.

[mikeyswayy]

hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.

while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all

i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.

I'm not dead!

I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay

What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself

I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after

I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not

But I know you do

Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u

I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you

The patch is really nice, thank you

I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk

I love you too man

I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

I would like you to info dump about the kirby gijinkas 👀

AVA I LOVE YOU UM UM SO!!!

kirby:just kid stuff like rain boots, hair accessories n overalls, they also have two designs-one for older games n one for newer games!! n a scrapped off old one cuz it looked too fancy </3 also the bag is angel themed bc i thought thatd just look cute ngl

bandana dee:as i said on another post i got inspired by smash dedede having a shirt that rly looks like the beginning of a yukata or a kimono!! also he doesnt have a mouth, design on the right was an early concept lol (by "isn't allowed" on the sheet i mean im not sure if having it over the haori could straight be an insulting mistake or if its just something most people would not think of doing bc why would you) i bullshitted an eye design but my best friend rly liked them so i never changed them lol

marx: i literally finished his final design yesterday.even tho nothing changed i just gave him elf ears bc he looks silly w them lol.anyways its just a jester design tbh? since his hat has two differing patterns i thought itd be neat to add both the sun and the moon from his little villain plan to his outfit (i miss his fluffy hat balls a little though </3) also he has no arms tho his wings can work as them sometimes.bc im a firm believer in always having characters who lack limbs in their original design either not have them or have a fun replacement

elfilin:theyre themed around a more cutesy aesthetic for angels n space! contrasting forgo and elfilis more dark theme of those, also w an inspiration of retro futurism! and yes their outfit is completely stupid and overly complicated thats part of the charm <3 theyre like a scene kid to me.also a little star bc all of kirbys friends get one.fun fact they had 4 beta designs bc nothing looked good

fecto forgo:(sorry for bad pic i need to redo its entire reference sheet) just an hospital gown w medical tomes that werent removed from them (my best friend gave me that idea n what to add lol), i think theyre best described as a blob of weird elfilis slime that can take a humanesque form rather than a human form that can blob, theyre constantly melting n all its veins are visible, theyre v cold to touch n in the tube their body flows in a way that gives them cherub imagery similar to what was intended w canon forgo, also its legs are useless, theyre very weak and unstable and not naturally formed (also since i picture the elfilis split as some uh.physical form?? of disassociative trauma random trivia when they front post game elfilins eyes get replaced w theirs, just for the aesthetic)(credits to my bestie for coming up w that interpretation lol)

shadow kirby:they get two designs like kirby, both inspired off theirs but just like.emo lol.dont ask why their hair started doing that its whatever reason they became purple in canon.they have overalls beneath that coat btw

and miscellaneous designs i havent given a final sheet to yet!! taranza and dark taranza r based off more fantasy victorian (? medieval???) clothing, susie is holographic bc i didnt want to give her gray shading n her limbs r all floaty (i imagine shes always making some weird electric noise due to that), gooey is just like cute tbh? their cape is based off their mock matter form, chuchus hair is based off the shape the octopus species she apparently is has, i dont have any notable commentary for drawcia or claycia (was that her name) other than drawcia is like a paint blob.also claycias supposed to be way chubbier but i underestimated how huge her coat would look.gotta fix that

thats all the ones i have!! GOD it feels good to finally share them lol

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ sunrise in versailles (part 3) (chapter 15)

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

word count- 5k

warnings- swearing, fighting (waaa), emotional distress, mentions of miscarriage, lots of sad shit tbh. I think this is all? lmk.

a/n-Hi m'loves, I hope ur all doing well and having a good summer so far!! I will update the main masterlist asap so all of the chapters are easily accessible through pinned post on my page! -Nini

"so....he's saying that it just happened and there wasn't necessarily any reasoning behind it. Its normal....its not your fault." Taehyung whispered, translating the english speaking doctor's words into Korean as you remained seating in a hospital bed.

No reasoning? normal?

You would scoff if you had the energy.

Instead, you just blinked a few times in understanding, putting your head back and looking up at the obnoxiously bright lights in the room. Really- they werent comforting in the slightest.

The doctor kept speaking to Taehyung, who then would refer to you, "they are....gonna give you medicine to help pass any, um, tissue? left inside..." his voice was thick, slicked with grief as he tried to explain everything.

After they handed you a few papers and pamphlets, they passed a bottle of pain reliever and extra medication into your hands, then pushed you out of the clinic, as if nothing happened, or if anything changed.

The car ride back to the hotel was quiet, you refused to even hold Taehyungs hand, which, yeah...you felt bad for shutting him out, because you know he was hurting just as much as you were, however you wanted to just process it by yourself. It perhaps was selfish to do so, but you didnt want to talk about it.

even with him.

"maybe its a good idea to look into a flight back home...?" he whispered, hand on your lower back as you walk back into the room. You winced before crawling onto the bed, hugging a pillow.

"no....." you mumbled, closing your eyes. The thought of going on a 12 hour plane ride in this condition made you queasy. You just wanted to lay in bed for the next few days to recover.

He put the stuff down and stood in front of the bed, looking down at his feet as his mind rambled of ways to help. "are you hungry?"

You shook your head.

"thirsty? You should probably have some water......do you want me to run you a bath-?"

"taehyung!" you looked over at him, he was taken back for a moment upon hearing your voice, the loudest you've spoken since the miscarriage began. "I want to be left alone, I dont need anything"

He frowned, "but you-"

"but nothing" you sighed, resting your head back down. You swallowed any trace of sadness in your voice, any signal you were ready to break down. "I just....I want to sleep."

"okay" he nodded, upset at your dismissive behavior. All he wanted was to hold you in this moment, for you two to mourn together so you can heal, and you were practically pretending he didnt exist.

He grabbed his cellphone and calmly left the room, walking out to clear his head. The weather was now much sunnier, air was hot but nice. He wondered what adventure you both would be up to right now if this never happened.

Reluctantly, he began to ring up his mother to discuss whats going on, knowing that you will probably be mad for doing it without you, but he needed someone to talk to so desperately.

"mom...." he whispered when the ringing on the other line stopped, signaling someone picked up.

"Taehyung? whats wrong?" her voice was groggy, He suddenly remembered that it was really late over in Busan, and she was most likely asleep.

"im sorry for calling so late" he mumbled, "I just really need to talk to you"

"what is it?" her voice was more awake now, obvious curiosity and panic.

He sighed, taking a breath as he looked around at the people walking down the street. "Y/N....this morning, she had a miscarriage." he swallowed roughly, feeling the familiar lump in his throat. "we just got back to the room after going to the clinic, shes okay, but she wont talk to me...and I know this doesnt concern you in the slightest, you were upset to begin with, but....im hurting mom." his voice cracked at the last sentence, face hiding into his arm.

He heard a stilling of breath on the other line.

Taehyungs mother wasnt all too pleased to hear you both were expecting a child together, but she never wished for something like this to happen, it was heartbreaking.

"ah my son... im terribly sorry my dear." she exhaled, "its okay to cry, its okay to be upset, you know?"

He sniffed, wiping his eyes with the collar of his shirt, "yeah but, I just wanna be with her and shes getting mad at me"

"Its a difficult situation, She is hurting just like you maybe even more, and she needs space....she will come around okay? where is she? where are you? did they specify what caused it?"

"im outside of our hotel, sitting on a bench, she doesnt want me in the room....and shes okay, they gave her medicine and stuff but they said it was natural, like nothing inflicted it or caused it"

She nodded on the other line "okay...maybe you both should come home. I know you worked hard to be there right now but if shes sick you guys need to be close to us. I will make some meals and bring them over so she doesnt have to cook, or you can just stay with us, whatever you two decide."

He brushed his hair with his fingers, listening to his mothers soft soothing tone, one he wasn't particularly used to hearing too often. "I asked her if we should go back and she said no"

"she wants to stay in a foreign country during this? what if something else happens?"

"I dont think she wants to deal with the plane ride" he sighed

"thats understandable, but she can just sleep the entire time, then i'll order a cab to our house straight from the airport, how does that sound?"

"I'll try to talk to her again about it, I just want her to be okay"

"she will be okay, but these things take time. She may not act like she needs you there with her but she does, go back to the room okay?"

"okay....thank you, I'll text you after, love you..." he mumbled, grateful that for once, his mother was supportive in such a time of pain.

-

"you showered?" he asked, walking back into the room as he saw you on the floor, looking out the large window by the bed. Your long wet hair gently dripping to the carpet below you.

"mhm" your eyes stayed glued to the city, watching cars drive around as the sun began to say its goodbyes, setting beautifully and coating the sky with a purple and orange tint.

His eyes looked down to the pillow in your lap, you squeezed it tightly.

"how...uh, how are you feeling physically?"

"mm" you shrugged, finally turning back to look at him. You were pale, and you looked exhausted. The dark bags under your eyes didnt lie. "im managing"

"you dont have to manage alone" he whispered, sitting beside you.

"taehyung..."

"y/n"

You looked at him as he sat on the carpet next to you, your body tightening up once more.

"why wont you let me be here for you?" he whispered, eyes directly on yours as he tilted his head. Taehyung didnt want to come off as aggressive or forceful.

You shook your head, eyes darting out the window once more. "I dont wanna talk about it"

"why no-"

"because it fucking kills me!" you cried out, covering your face, "it hasnt even been a day, im processing it, it doesnt feel real and I just..."

He looked at you, his own expression softening as he felt his stomach churn.

"I just wish it never happened" you choke out in a faint whisper

"I know baby, I know...." he mumbled, slowly bringing his arm to yours, pulling you into his lap. "me too, this is awful, I know it is, and I know I will never understand how you feel....but im hurting too. lets process this together? please?" his fingers laced through your hair as you softly cried, you could feel the exhaustion and emotion seeping through every ounce of your body. "I think we should just go home..."

"but you worked so hard to be here....we arent going..."

Taehyung sighed, "its not important. I...I called my mom and explained the situation, shes offering us a room at the house, she will cook for us and everything, allow you time to heal, and-"

You stopped crying, climbing off his lap and looking at him as if he slapped you in the face. "you called your mom? why? what?"

"I know, im sorry, I shouldve asked you if it was okay-"

"yeah you should have" you wiped your nose and stood up, huffing and tossing the pillow back onto the bed. "thats so....you dont need to go telling everyone. Not to mention she gave me shit when she found out I was pregnant, and now she wants to be all supportive? bull fucking shit"

He was taken back at your sudden outburst, he rose to his feet and turned to you "baby, hey, I know my parents arent the best but they are offering support right now, put all the fighting aside, she knows your hurting and is just trying to be nice"

"I dont care, I refuse to let her do that, especially given the fucking comments she through at me" you ran your hands through your hair. "I mean, shit, taehyung, my own mom didnt know I was pregnant yet and now I have to tell her I already miscarried?" you sighed "this is a lot on me! this is a lot mentally, and you cant just go telling people, im embarrassed"

"you shouldnt be"

"I am, I dont really want to be coddled or get sympathy calls and texts from people, I just want to be alone, and to be honest, I am really fucking mad at you right now"

He raised his brow, he was upset at your behavior but tried to understand the situation from your point of view. "okay..." he exhaled, "I get it, I know, and im sorry"

You threw your phone across the room, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Taehyung felt lost, his attempt of helping seemed to only make shit worse for the both of you. How was one person supposed to navigate or fix the said situation? you wanted help, but you refused it.

He didnt want to leave again, but he grabbed his coat and walked out once more, this time it was to sit on the fire escape stairs out near the balcony.

It felt like hours, he cried, watching cars drive around. It was selfish, but he wished he was one of those people.

he wished he was away, he wished you and him were doing what you had originally planned for the day instead of this.

His heart was in his throat as it suddenly hit him, the loss of the child he had learned to grow so fond of. Taehyung had not known them for very long, but oh, he fell in love at the first heartbeat, the first sonogram that still sat in his wallet at this very moment.

He was in love the moment he walked into his bedroom and saw it as a nursery for the first time, eager to push everything out just so he can decorate it 7 months early.

The moment he saw your bump beginning to form, snapping photos left and right. The moments of holding your hair back so you didnt get vomit in it during your morning sickness days. The moments of him talking to your stomach late at night when you pretended to be asleep and watch.

Taehyung would whisper his fears but righten them as promises of love and nothing less. the role of a father.

It seemed so scary at first, but as he settled into it, the idea became somewhat comforting, at least knowing he wasnt alone.

But now what?

Where do you even start to pick up the pieces of loss of a life you never even got to taste?

Everything that was finally looking up was ripped away in a matter of moments. He was angry at the world, angry at himself, angry at the innocent people walking around below...but he wasnt angry at you, no matter how much you deflect his compassion.

He tossed his cigarette and began to look up at the stars, trying to mentally keep track of the number of them. It was something to distract his brain, it was something to do other than feel pathetic.

The slider door to the balcony slowly opened, presenting you tightly wrapped in a robe as your hair was now thrown into a pony tail.

Taehyung waved his hand, too afraid to speak up.

"I just got off the phone"

He nodded, looking over.

"with my mom" you exhale

"oh?" Taehyung sat up quickly as you walked over, sitting beside him.

"yeah" you whisper, of course you had been crying, there was no way to hide it. "I told her everything, mine as well not wait"

He nodded, unsure of how to react

Its quite for a moment, the overwhelming tension between you both choking you as the night sky blanketed the city, the air thick with love and grief.

"are you okay?" he whispered

"yes...or, will be anyways" you sniff, taking a deep breath and allowing your lungs to receive a moment of calmness for the first time today. "are you?"

He shrugged, looking at you. "mad..." he murmured, watching his heel continue to dig into the cigar that was already on the ground.

"mad?" you whisper

"yeah, mad."

"why?"

"because..." it was his turn to cry, his fists bunching up his white shirt. "I left you, I fucking left you while it happened."

You frown, watching his eyes look anywhere but your own. "My love...whether you were in the room or not, it still wouldve happened"

"At least you wouldnt have been alone..." he choked, "I keep getting images of how scary it mustve been, and how you kept calling me and I was just...not there"

You wiped your eyes, scooting closer to him.

"so fucking dumb, im so stupid. I hate everyone and im mad. Im angry, its not fair" he mumbled

You were unsure of what to say to him, opting to pull him into your arms as you embraced eachother.

"where were you anyways...?"

He sniffed, whispering lowly "I went to get you flowers, and breakfast" his cheeks were slightly red. "just my luck, I do something nice and the world spits in my face"

You couldnt help the small smile that found its way onto your lips, "well thats very sweet...."

"doesnt matter. it was dumb and I shouldnt have left you"

"you cant blame yourself for this" you look at him, turning his head so he sees you. "we need to stop blaming ourselves. This is going to take a while to recover from, and we gotta realize that now more than ever." you whisper, pressing your forehead to his.

He nodded, lifting slightly to kiss you delicately.

Taehyung held both of your hands as he rested his head on your shoulder.

"Im going home"

He sniffed, "you are? I think thats good, we dont have to stay at my moms house, I understand how awkward that might be for you, and it was my wrong doing to just go and talk behind your back. We can just go back to the apartment okay?"

You shake your head slowly, "no, Tae, home...Gwangju." you spoke into his ear gently, your hand running circles on his back. "I need to see my mom, I need time to recover, and to be honest, I need to recover from a lot more than just this one thing...."

He sat away, looking at you. "Gwangju?"

"yeah. Ive been thinking about going back for a while, remember? my mom isnt getting any younger and she still has troubles with her back. She wasnt doing too well when we visited. I need to be with my mom to help her, and so she can help me with everything Ive been dealing with, which....is a lot." you exhale, trying to offer a small laugh to lighten the mood. "she misses me too, all the time"

His face was contorted, mind racing. "well...okay..." he nodded slowly, "thats fine...when do we leave?"

You bit your bottom lip and looked at him, "not we, just me tae..."

Taehyung frowned, "what do you mean? you....are leaving without me?" his voice was thick with emotion as the realness of the sudden situation sunk in.

"yeah...not for long, I promise, I just need time-"

"what are you talking about?" he chokes out, standing up and looking down at you. "I offered to take you back home so we can recover and rest, I offered you anything I could, and you refused, now suddenly you are hot and eager to hop on a plane to Gwangju to....get away from me?"

"its not like that"

"then please explain what it is like because it seems as if life isnt the problem, its me"

You roll your eyes slightly, "stop jumping to conclusions, you know first hand how bad the past months have been, between kaito, the pregnancy, school, work and the drama with you and I. I lost all my friends, I switched to online classes just for the situation, I have to manage everything, all of my shit including yours"

"What do you mean?"

"its just a lot, tae, I am only one person. I love you, I really do, and I wish you would calm down so I can explain."

He sits, face in his hands.

"Listen" you begin "everything is just a lot right now, this...loss..." you whisper "it was the sole decider for me to make the move to go back home for a while. I need to fix some shit, because im not the best person, and I need to be away from people"

"you sound so crazy"

You scoff, looking at him, "crazy?"

"yeah, crazy. so what? we break up? you know, couples dont just leave or abandon eachother when something bad happens, you turn to them when you need support, just as we done with everything else so far." he tries to plead with you, hands trembling a bit. "I know its a lot for you, I know your body is tired physically and mentally, and I can only imagine how the past 24 hours have been, but....you do realize that I am hurting as well? this doesnt just involve you, it was my baby too?"

You sink into your seat, sighing as you shake your head, "obviously I know that"

"then why are you acting like its only your problem?" he winced, "we....we are missing out on so many experiences. we will never get to hold or see that baby ever, you think that doesnt rip my fucking heart out y/n??" his voice wavered, now slightly louder as he tried to get you to see his side. "this is so selfish, you are being so selfish"

You felt tears seep into your eyes, quickly getting up so he doest see your reaction as you open the slider, feet guiding you back into the cold hotel room.

"yeah run away" he scoffs, tears streaming down his face as he attempts to follow you, tossing his jacket to the floor in rage.

"where will I be? where do I go?" he yelled, watching you silently search the closet as you rip clothes out, tossing them to the bed.

When you dont respond, he grows more upset and desperate. "so fuck me then? right? because my feelings on this dont matter?" he cried, standing at the door and watching you. "please tell me what ive done, what ive said, to make you feel like you cant talk or confide in me? why is there no comfort between us? what the fuck happened?"

Tears freely fell as you aggressively threw your suitcase together, you heard his words sink into your blood, your own emotions tugging at your heart as you tried to convince yourself you were capable of making your own choices. "its not a break up, its just some time away from everything, I will come back" you spoke, teeth gritted.

"you are being so selfish y/n" he shook his head in disbelief, "why am I not enough to help? why cant we both go to your moms?"

"because im tired!!" you yell, throwing the shoes in your hands.

He laughed, eyes scanning over you "you are tired? from what? ....oh I get it, me giving you every limb I have, spending my time and money on you must be so exhausting. Im just the fucking worst huh? Jesus, y/n, you are acting like I fucking punched you" he spit

You glared at him, pinching your thigh as he referred to Kaito "Im tired of drama following me everywhere I go. I never fucking asked you to give me anything, ever, at all." you whisper, eyes sinking into his. "How dare you say that to me....." you grew angry at your voice wavering "this was a mistake"

His eyes widened, "a mistake..?"

"yeah..." you scoff "a mistake, clearly the biggest one ive made" you were quick to wipe your eyes. "we should have stayed just friends, you feeling forced to provide and love me just because of the baby is pathetic. You dont have to worry about it anymore anyways, asshole" you spit, turning around.

He felt like he had gotten stabbed in the chest, his breath leaving his lungs as you sat there and accused him of not only not loving you, but the child. "y/n, you know nothing...you have no idea what you are saying"

"oh but I do"

"you are angry, and thats why you said that, I really hope thats the case...because what you just accused me of...." his voice was tight and shallow. "how can you say I only stayed because of the baby....who, by the way, I was willing to give up everything for"

"you felt compelled to, you dont have to lie anymore"

His tears continued to fall, he was shocked at your words. "y/n I love you and that baby more than anything....why are you saying this?"

He regretted yelling, and perhaps he said words that dug deeper than he meant them too, however what you threw back at him was worse than any conversation prior.

"Yeah well I dont even know if the baby was yours or Kaitos so It literally doesnt matter" you threw clothes into your bag "its gone anyways" you sobbed, "so just go on and do whatever the fuck you were doing before I pulled you down with me, okay?"

Taehyung gasped softly, eyes widening as he watched you.

You knew it was wrong, you regretted saying it as soon as it left your mouth, but you couldn't go back on it, not anymore.

"you....you dont?"

You didnt reply, instead, picking the pace up as you gathered your things.

"baby....baby talk to me this isnt funny anymore" he ran over to you, desperately seeking your attention. "look....i...I dont care if it was mine or not, I wouldnt have treated them any differently, baby please listen to me, its okay"

"taehyung I have to go" you whispered

"no..please my love, why are you....what did I do? im sorry...im sorry" he grasped your hand and fell onto his knee

"stop" you choked out, looking at him with tears in your eyes. "listen...Its not forever, just give me some space....please"

"why...this is so...." he whispered, crying as he looked up at you, "please think this through. let me come with you-"

"taehyung....look at me, Im not breaking up with you, I just need space, and if you wont let me do that..." you shrug, "then what are we doing here?"

He looks down at his hands

"thank you, okay? thank you for giving me all of this, and Im sorry it didnt work out, but we need to have time away so we can come back stronger, okay?" you choked out before going back to what you were doing.

Taehyung at some point in the conversation gave up at trying to convince you to stay, he realized his words were no longer effective, and you were gonna walk away from him no matter what he said.

He felt your grip loosen, specifically within the past few weeks. You were slowly slipping away and he knew it, but he didnt want to think it was anything you two couldnt fix, he needed you just as much as you needed him.

He knew he would wait, and if you left and needed space, then he would let you do so.

"fine..." he whispered, feeling one hundred percent defeated as his eyes watched you gather your things. "w-when....are you leaving?"

you sniffed, "tomorrow morning"

"i'll go with you to the airport" he said quickly, making your grasp on your bag tighten.

"okay" you mumbled.

Its not that you didnt love Kim Taehyung, its that you loved him too much to be wrapped in this drama with him all the time. Things will be well for a while then something happens, something always happens, and its not fair.

to either of you.

You regretted saying the baby thing the moment it came out of your mouth, but you were always bad at dealing with emotions. After some time alone with your mom you would need to do some major damage control.

You only wanted 2 weeks alone, its not like you were leaving for 2 years, why was he being so stubborn about this?

It was a fairly quite car trip at 6am the next morning to the airport.

The grey clouds that toppled over you set the tone of the day for taehyung as he parked among the cars in the lot. The last time you two were at this airport was when you arrived here, hopes high for not only the trip, but a positive change in eachothers future.

one that never came.

he walked you inside all the way to your gate, watching as crowds of people gathered nearby.

"well...." he whispered, watching the way his feet scuffed the floor beneath him.

"well..." you repeated, turning to look at him. "its only a few weeks"

Taehyung nodded, repeating the extent in his brain like it would reassure him.

"we will come out of this as better people" you mumbled, reaching up to hug his tightly, hands finding the familiar pattern of running down his back, squeezing him.

"I hope" he exhaled, hugging you just as tight.

Once you pulled away, your faces close together, you looked into his eyes and took every ounce within you to avoid tearing up. Before bed last night, you both discussed the properties of this situation, and what exactly it would entail. You apologized for your words, as did he, and now here you both were at the end of the terminal waiting for your plane to be called so you can head back to korea without him.

"about the baby...." you whispered, looking at him

"I know...you dont have to apologize again. y/n, I dont care who's it was, I honestly dont. nothing would have led me away from you" he reassured, "I just want to make sure you will be okay on the flight"

You nod slowly, "i will be fine, moms picking me up when I land so..."

"good, thats good"

"yup, and i'll text you when im at home okay?" you spoke

"got it"

"you'll wait for me?"

"i'll wait for you" he whispered, kissing your forehead.

"even if im the most awful person?"

Tae laughed softly "you arent, but even if you were, yes"

You nod sadly, finally allowing the tears to spill as he immediately hugged you close to his chest again. its not a goodbye, its a "see you later", right?

"dont cry...this is what you wanted"

You pull back, wiping your eyes "yeah...yeah"

The speaker above your heads announced boarding for your plane. Grabbing the tickets from your bag, you looked at taehyung once more and smiled weakly, "i'll see you, okay?"

He smiled, nodding "i'll be there when you need me" please need me

You waved, quickly turning so he wouldn't see you crying again as you made your way down the tunnel, your body now hidden behind the herd of other passengers.

"love you" he whispered to himself, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he realized his current state, alone.

He hasnt been alone in months, and it provided a certain uncomfy feeling that ran through his body, almost disturbing. He knew he would be returning to the hotel and packing so he could visit his own mother and father back in Busan. Explaining that situation to them will be its own event.

How could something so sweet and beautiful always find its way to trash? to devastation? it was what you two thrived on, and perhaps time apart was needed after all.

He would wait for you

He would wait for your laugh, your eyes, the way you whispered, the way you nagged him over being messy, or how you fussed when he forgot to eat again.

But....how long exactly would he do so?

taglist-

@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee

[popuptent1]

Sooo i just finished reading the kamokedai match and i need to express the thousand emotions going through my head rn (rant)

WARNING: VERY HEAVY SPOILERS and a BUNCH OF YELLING AND RANTING

if you dont wanna get yelled at i suggest you ignore this post :)

yes yes I know im VERY late to the party and that this manga ended years ago but i just finished reading this so lemme just get it outta my system and ill be on my way

First of all WHAT THE HECC FURUDATE WHY U GOTTA DO US LIKE THAT

they rlly made it so that hinata got sick at the worst possible time huh

like i get it, its to build even more tension but they didnt have to do that i mean cmon my heart was beating stupidly fast while reading that. Takeda even made a whole like five page speech to hinata which is what made us readers all go "oh ye we're losing this match arent we"

And they even made tsukki have to go on the bench cause of his leg becuase why not rub more salt into the wound amiright?

Anyways after the out of pocket plot twist where hinata goes to the hospital it not much of a suprise that kamokedai won but it still hurt ToT.

Yes, i actually thought they had a chance of winning ok? i get that kamokedai is much better than karasuno but still. they couldve won ;(

and then out of nowhere ITACHIYAMA LOST??!!! like what the actual flic flac??!! bro is hitting us with 50 different plot twists at once. First hinata get a fever, then tsukki also goes outta action, then they lose the match, then itachiyama also loses the match WHYYYYYY

i was not mentally prepared for this and was so looking forward to seeing sakusa and the libero whos name i forgot play against fukurodani in the finals but NOPE I GUESS WE AINT GETTING THAT TODAY

Now onto the MAIN REASON I AM TYPING THIS (yes im just warming up here folks)

I am a HUGE fukurodani fan they will always be my #1 favourite team

i thought we were gonna see the semi final and finals matches after karasuno lost but NOPE they just skipped those and was like TIMESKIP TIME WHO CARES ABOUT FUKURODANI :D

(i havent read the timeskip yet since, apart from bokuto, none of my faves are playing volleyball)

so naturally, i turned towards google to see if they do win the nationals

I WAS SO CERTAIN FUKURODANI WERE GONNA WIN THE NATIONALS YOU HAVE NO IDEA I PUT MY HEART ON THE LINE AND WAS 100% SURE THAT THEY WERE GONNA WIN EM ALL YK WHY??

DO

YOU

WANT

TO

KNOW

WHY

BECAUSE FURUDATE MADE IT SOUND LIKE THEY WERE REALLY DESTINED TO WIN THE WHOLE DAM THING

SO WHEN THEY LOST TO SOME RANDOM NOBODY SCHOOL THAT WE'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF AND DOESNT HAVE ANY BACKGROUND AT ALL ACTUALLY KILLED ME SO BAD

they purposely got our hopes up and made us think that fukurodani were gonna be the ones to win (FUKURODANI WERE THE PROTAGONISTS OF THE WORLD, not karasuno!)

i fell for the trap, hook line and sinker 😭😭😭

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

seriously i dont get why furudate couldnt have just made fukurodani win instead?? everyone would be happy about that, and its not like its unrealistic, they're an amazing team, as shown multiple times in the manga!!!

GRRRrrrrr i am angry and sad and mad and depressed and my heart hurts and i feel like screaming into my pillow again

but i feel bad for being so negative in this post so i will end it on a (sorta) positive note for those who actually read that far into this rant lol

THIS ENDING OF FUKURODANI ACTUALLY MADE ME DIE (out of happiness this time)

they arent that depressed about losing bc they know that 2nd in the WHOLE OF JAPAN is still an AMAZING FEAT and that if they werent on the same team, then they wouldnt have gotten that far

konoha says hes grateful and considers himself super lucky that they were all on the same team (and specifically that bokuto was on the team since he's one of the nation's top aces)

and wow thats so amazing i just cant

MY EMOTIONS AHHH

anyways sorry for yelling to you so much, i just had to get this outta my system

The manga was GREAT and i enjoyed reading it so much haikyuu is my favourite anime and im so so glad i stumbled upon it!!! i seriously cant wait for this to get animated

drink water and i wish you happy tumblr scrolling 👍👍👍