#And it's like.
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also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.
not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like
the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that
#eliot posts#taz#taz ethersea#the adventure zone#amber gris#drugs cw#death mention#i've made posts like this and deleted them cuz i never feel like i'm wording it just right but just. god.#i'm lucky enough to have never been addicted or to have a best friend or immediate family member die from it#but i've lost or nearly lost extended family to it#and it's like.#my own accent isn't that thick and neither is my immediate family's or best friends'#but i've known ppl who talked like her.#specifically a man named larry who lived with us when we were real young#for some reason especially the way amber says ''come on'' just always reminds me so strongly of larry's voice. he said that phrase a lot#he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes even after my parents lost patience with me for being 'too old' to not understand#he drank excessively like my dad did but he never got mean with us kids#he came and went a few times over the years. the final time he left was when i was in late elementary#he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time.#it had been so long since i'd seen him but also i was at a point in my life where i'd've been numb to big emotions like that anyway#so my parents got drunk about it and i did nothing. just went to school and shit as usual.#i did not expect those feelings to get dredged up by a goddamned comedy dnd podcast#but they did it well i think#even though i had to pause it to take a breather multiple times. i enjoyed it overall. cathartic i guess?
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kind of funny what literally one good day of not making insane assumptions about what my friends think of me and instead just talking to them does to me
#does anyone else feel really selfish all the time for making absolutely terrible assumptions#about people who have done nothing to deserve those assumptions#like it makes me feel so bad whenever i catch myself doing this#this person could've literally saved my life willingly and i would catch myself thinking#that they probably groan whenever they hear my name when i'm not around#and it's like.#again.#this person has done nothing for me to think that way#i wish brains didn't do this#i would like to be more understanding and normal#zzz
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I am normal about skulls (lying)
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jesus christ girl, you like Fate, One Piece, Final Fantasy 14, Danganronpa AND Homestuck? Pick a struggle.
#Lightheartedly making fun of myself#Because I hear myself when I talk#And it's like.#Yeah! :D#I do like those things.#And it's refreshing to be able to do that out loud without worrying what others think
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#a rant i'm sorry#anyway i sometimes wish there were more hours in the day#so i could come home from school and still have time for Myself#but i think if there were more hours in the day#my school would just give us more work#under the guise of “you have the time”#and it's like.#these are the same people who are always#talking about taking care of yourself#and sleeping early and making time for hobbies#and like we Would have time for all this if you#just stopped bombarding us with so many projects#and i hate that when we talk about this our teachers either#tell us to work on our time management#or that it'll get worse in the coming years#like how is that supposed to make me feel better??#knowing that i have worse to go through when i'm already struggling now does NOT help.#i'm just so tired mentally#and i'm so tired of having to constantly do work#when i don't do work i'm thinking about the work i have to do#i just can't get my brain to relax#and i think that maybe if i had more time#to myself#and more time to just let my brain relax and be quiet#i'd feel a bit better#but even during holidays they give us projects to do and i don't get any time to breathe#i just wish i had more time for my hobbies y'know#i think if i could do what i want without fear of grades or judgement i'd be happier
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the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.
#was rereading the hunger games series when this thought hit me like a truck#it beautiful#its haunting#its heartbreaking#its melancholic#quotes#dark academia#books and reading#books & libraries#books#young adult#ya books#young adult books#movies#coming of age#the hunger games#the divergent series#the maze runner#the fault in our stars#musings#midnight musings#thoughts#mine
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Doctors should snark at each other more, be a bit mean. Not for no reason, mind you. But if five doctors blow me off about symptoms and doctor number six FINALLY runs actual tests and gets a diagnosis, I think it should be Doctor Six's right to call up the other five and tell them they're lazy pieces of shit. That should be socially encouraged. Those first five doctors clearly can't listen to patients, but maybe another doctor might finally get to them.
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tbh i think the funniest phenomena that's been happening in the last couple years is "youtuber, having gone too deep into the research hole, has been made an investigative journalist against their will"
#like im not gonna name names but i can think of at least 3 channels#where they stopped posting short form content and went#wait the patreon is paying my rent im no longer a slave to the algorithm gods#HELL YEAH TIME TO SPEND 5+ MONTHS PUTTING TOGETHER A 3+ HOUR VIDEO#and i eat that shit up every time
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One of these days the yearning is gonna get them both killed
#hello jayvik nation#arcane#viktor#jayce talis#jayce x viktor#jayvik#my art#i wish i cared less abt them but unfortunately mr genius 1 and 2 here are Nerds#and thats all it takes me to like a character
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the transition im crying
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“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health
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Not socialist in a “I won’t have to work” type of way but socialist in a “I’ll still be working but I won’t be worried I won’t make the rent” type of way. In a “billions won’t be hoarded by one person” type of way. In a “janitors, fast-food workers, child care workers, preschool teachers, hotel clerks, personal care and home health aides, and grocery store cashiers, will live comfortably” type of way. In a “the sick and elderly will be cared for” type of way. In a “no child should work” type of way.
#socialist#socialism#communism#anti capitalism#the belief that we won’t work under capitalism genuinely makes me so mad#like#you realize the goal of social reform is to abolish imperialism right?#there won’t be good just showing up out of nowhere without slavery and/or imperialism
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As gen-AI becomes more normalized (Chappell Roan encouraging it, grifters on the rise, young artists using it), I wanna express how I will never turn to it because it fundamentally bores me to my core. There is no reason for me to want to use gen-AI because I will never want to give up my autonomy in creating art. I never want to become reliant on an inhuman object for expression, least of all if that object is created and controlled by tech companies. I draw not because I want a drawing but because I love the process of drawing. So even in a future where everyone’s accepted it, I’m never gonna sway on this.
#personal#im still fighting it but im also a realist so I’ve accepted that this will be our future#rant#gen ai is fucking boring#I hope this doesn’t make me sound like a ‘going against the crowd. not like the rest of society’ type (it would be depressing if it did)#but yeah even in a world where it’s considered totally fine to use ai to make art I’ll still be using my bare hands#because I like it and nobody can take that from me#if you’re a young artist interested in or already using ai. just know that the thing you rely on to make art can be taken away at any point#all of it. and there’s nothing you can do about it if they decide to. it doesn’t belong to you
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happy new years everyone
(live jayce reaction:)
#viktor arcane#arcane#arcane fanart#jayvik#jayce x viktor#jayce talis#my art#made this drunk at like 4 am. great way to start 2025
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