#And in like. January of 2016 I looked him in the eyes and innocently was like.

[illdothehotvoice]

Actually no on the topic this kid sucked regardless but DUDE. THE PAPYRUS ENDING??? That's so fucking cruel dshgjkfh 😭. I'm the Papyrus guy why would you spoil the Papyrus ending for me dshjgkfdh.

[junicai]

what i made.

| order no. | 7/21

| summary | With a new Japanese member in their midst, Aria knows that he must be feeling homesick. So, she takes it upon herself to try to alleviate as much of it as she can.

| word count | 1.7k

| warnings | sickening fluff

| era | circa. January 2021

“Are you coming?” Aria had her phone held between her ear and her shoulder, scooping two reusable plastic bags from the countertop as she moved past. There was a small clinking sound and she paused, peering into the bag to make sure the glass containers hadn’t chipped off each other. 

Doyoung would have her head. 

Satisfied that there was no shattering, Aria moved again, snagging her coat as she pushed past in her free hand. Yuta hummed on the other end of the phone. 

“Yeah, I’m about to leave.” Aria could hear him rustling about on the other end of the line. 

“His apartment is the second one on the third floor remember - he told me Sungchan was going somewhere with Jungwoo, shopping I think?” Aria paused to think. “Anyway, he’s gone all afternoon, so Taro is alone.”

The shuffling paused on the other end of the line. “He’s been quiet with you too, right? It’s not just me?” Yuta asked. 

Aria hummed sadly. “Yeah, it’s not just you.” She pulled the door firmly closed behind her, only moving away when it signified that it had been locked with a beep. 

Living in the Dreamie dorms again had been a change. A nice change, don’t get her wrong, but for the last year she’d been spending most of her time in the 127 dorms. Now, with the Dream comeback on the horizon, she’d moved back into her old room - happy to see that the fairy lights she’d installed (meaning: stuck onto the walls with sellotape) were still functioning after she’d changed the batteries. 

“Remember how I got? Right after debut?” Aria questioned, now moving away from the doorway and into the hallway. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Aria replied. “I think he’s just gotten homesick - it happened to me, and I hadn’t been training for that long before debut.” 

“Makes sense. It’s probably harder because he’s older as well - the pressure might be getting to him.” Yuta’s voice was growing sadder, so Aria interrupted him before he himself could get down. 

“So!” She cheered, lifting up the bag of ingredients that was hanging in the crook of her arm. “We go and we cheer our last musketeer up.” 

“I told you not to call us that.” 

“Why not!” 

Aria giggled as Yuta began to list out the numerous reasons why he hated that nickname, tucking the phone into the other crook of her neck as one side began to cramp up.

She entertained the man with small hums and little rebuttals every now and then, walking out of the left apartment wing and into the right; where Shotaro and Sungchan’s apartment was located.

SM had moved their dorms into one apartment building for Mark, Aria and Donghyuck’s peace of mind. And also theirs. There had been several incidents of Donghyuck and Aria dashing down to the Dreamie dorm at one in the morning to grab something; and it was going to give their managers grey hair if something wasn’t done about it. 

Now, the larger apartment block they all lived in had two wings; the right wing, where the two 127 dorms were located, as well as Shotaro and Sungchan’s, and then the left - where the Dream dorms were. WayV was still in a separate apartment building, much to the entire group’s irritation, but it was a work in progress. 

As Aria stepped out of the elevator onto the third floor to see Yuta already standing outside Shotaro’s apartment door, she pulled her phone out from beneath her ear and hung up without warning.

She snickered at Yuta’s face when the man realized he had been hung up on, and just as he was about to click redial, she popped up behind him. 

“You were saying? Mr. Musketeer?” 

Yuta rolled his eyes. “Akari, you’re asking for it now.” 

Aria gently pushed past him, knocking twice on the door. She turned to face him afterwards, batting her eyelashes innocently. “I’m doing nothing at all- Taro! Hi!” 

Shotaro opened the door with bleary eyes, blinking at the light that blinded him slightly. The apartment behind him was dark, no lights on, and by the state of his hair Aria could infer that they’d just woken the boy up. 

“Hm? Akari?” Shotaro blinked sleepily at her. “What time is it?” 

Aria bit her lip to stop the smile growing across her face. “It’s almost two in the afternoon, Taro.” 

Shotaro blinked rapidly at that, clearing the fog of sleep from his eyes. “Oh! Is it? Sorry!” He opened the door wider, flicking on the lights after his two members walked in. 

Aria held up the two bags on her arm. “Can I put these down somewhere? I think my hand is slowly losing circulation.” 

Shotaro gestured towards the table that was partly covered in old newspapers. At a closer glance, the newspaper had a few spots of dried paint in various bright colours. She looked back to him. “Sungchan’s newest artistic endeavor go well?” 

“Yeah!” Shotaro pointed towards where an old ripped t-shirt was hanging off the back of a door - a small graphic square had been painted on in haphazard lines. “He’s really proud of it.” 

“He should be,” Yuta stepped forward to examine it further. “It’s really good.” 

Aria dropped the two bags onto the clean side of the table, rubbing her hands together to get the blood flowing back into her fingertips. “Ok!” She exclaimed, turning to face the two men. 

“I,” She began, poking herself in the chest, “Have a little surprise for the both of you.” 

Yuta’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Me?” He mouthed, pointing to himself in a question. Aria nodded.

“But! I need the kitchen to do it, so go, shoo. Get out.” She waved at the two boys, shooing them out of the kitchen.

Shotaro whined at her slightly. “But I could help?” 

“Then it defeats the purpose of a surprise, doesn’t it?” 

He opened his mouth before closing it, frowning at the ground. Aria waved at him. “Go go. I’ll be done quickly.” 

Once the two boys had disappeared into the main living room, Aria returned to the two bags on the table and slowly began to pull out the ingredients. The red bean paste that she’d made the night previous was packed away in one of Doyoung’s glass boxes for food, and she was careful to place it near the wall and out of the way of where she might knock into it. 

Dorayaki. The red bean pancake had been something she loved as a child, and Yuta held similar sentiments. She could only hope that Shotaro did as well - because at this point, it was almost a ritual for the original two Japanese members to go out and buy dorayaki when one or both of them were feeling off. 

With the filling set aside, Aria moved quickly to set up a small work station beside the hob, pulling out a mixing bowl and a whisk.

The eggs went into the bowl, followed by honey and sugar. They were stirred together quickly, combining in a matter of under a minute.

Next, came the flour, which was to be sifted in slowly. 

“Sieve, sieve.” Aria mumbled to herself, pulling open and closing drawers periodically. “Where would they keep a sieve?” 

She contemplated asking Shotaro for a minute, but ultimately scrapped that idea and chastised herself lightly. “They’re teenage boys, Akari. They’re not going to own a sieve.”

With that, she had to make do; using two forks laid over each other and pouring the flour mixture very slowly into the eggs. It was messy, and she got more flour on the counter than in the bowl, but it worked out for the most part.

Aria set the bowl aside as she turned on the electric rings, letting them heat up. The boys only had a small frying pan, that she could do nothing but pray was non-stick; and Aria winced at the thought that this might take a little bit longer than she’d hoped. 

She strained her ears for a moment, comforting herself with the fact that the two boys seemed engrossed in a conversation, and weren’t missing her presence too much for the time being. 

The mixture was poured on one by one, and gradually Aria amassed a sizeable stack of small, circular pancake shapes on the plate beside her. Then, it was only a matter of making a small mountain shape on the inside, before putting a second pancake on top - like a little hat.

She sealed the edges of each dorayaki, placing them on a plate. 

“Taro? Yuta? Do you want to come on in here?” She raised her voice, hoping that they’d hear her. 

“Yeah? What’s up?” Taro was the first to appear, his eyes curious before they caught sight of the plate held in Aria’s hands. 

His face lit up like a lightbulb, and his mouth dropped slightly. “You did not.” 

“I did.” Aria grinned. 

“Hey, look at you go little baker.” Yuta came over to snag one from the top of the plate, and had his hand batted away.

“Stop it, they’re for Taro. He gets one first.” Aria scolded, and Yuta backed away with his hands up. 

Shotaro, on his end, looked like he was about to cry. “F-for me? Really?” He gnawed at his bottom lip. 

Aria placed the plate down on the counter, moving to wrap the slightly younger boy in a hug. “Yeah, for you. Consider this your official initiation to the j-line. Very exclusive club. You’re the first member to be added since 2016.” She pulled back with a wide grin. 

Yuta joined the group hug, longer arms encircling both Shotaro and Aria where they stood. “You’re never getting rid of us now, Taro.” He teased. “We know your apartment passcode."

The trio stood quietly, smiles on all their faces until the dorayaki went cold on the plate. 

Not a single one of them cared; and if Sungchan came home to Yuta lying on the floor with Shotaro lying curled up to his left side, and Aria lying across his lap with her hand tangled in Shotaro’s - all three, fast asleep - and took a picture to send to Jungwoo for blackmail? 

Then that’s between the apartment walls, and him. 

[eunwhore]

An (Un)helpful guide for ASTRO

Oh you just discovered ASTRO and you want to know more about them ? First of all, welcome new fellow Aroha ! I’m glad you chose to stan these beautiful men because they deserve it ! Hope you’ll like them even more after that ! Have fun ! 

ASTRO is a South Korean boys band under the label of Fantagio

- They debuted on February 23, 2016 with the single “Hide & Seek” from their debut EP called “Spring Up”

- Their official colors are Vivid Plum and Space Violet

- The name of their fandom is “Aroha” which comes from ‘Astro’ mixed with the korean word ‘hana’ that means ‘one’ or ‘only’. In short, their fans are their only one. How cute ! 

- They released 9 albums and EP:

1) Spring Up - February 23, 2016

Track List: 

Ok! Ready ! 

Hide & Seek 

Innocent Love

Morning Call

Puss In Boots

2) Autumn Story - November 10, 2016

Track List:

Lonely

Confession

Love

Stained

STAR

3) Winter Dream - February 22, 2017

Track List:

Should’ve held on

Cotton Candy

You & Me

4) Dream Part.1 - May 29, 2017

Track List:

Dreams Come True

Baby

You Smile

Because It’s You

Dream Night

I’ll Be There 

Lie

Every minute

5) Dream Part.2 - November 1, 2017

Track List:

With you

Crazy Sexy Cool

Butterfly

Run

Better With You

6) Rise Up - July 24, 2018

Track List:

Always You

By Your Side

Call Out

Stay With Me

Real Love

7) All Night - January 16, 2019

Track List:

Starry Sky

All Night

Moonwalk

Treasure

Role Play

1 In a Million

Love Wheel

Heart Brew Love

Merry-Go-Round

Bloom 

8) Blue Flame - November 20, 2019

Track List:

Blue Flame

Go&Stop

All About You

When the Wind Blows

You’re My World

9) Gateway - May 4, 2020

Knock

When You Call My Name

SOMEBODY LIKE

We Still

12 Hours

Lights On

- Their slogan is ‘Wanna be your star’

- The group is composed of 6 members, lemme introduce you to these bad (actually soft) boys

Jinjin - Park Jin Woo (진진)

Position: Leader, Main Rapper, Lead Dancer

Birthday: March 15, 1996 

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Social Media: - Instagram

Funfacts: 

Is the mom of the group really

His favourite colour is green.

His nickname is Angelic/Puppy Smile

He can play drums and do beatboxing.

He speaks Korean, English & basic Chinese.

He composed and wrote the lyrics of “Lights On” their sidetrack for their album “Gateway”.

JinJin’s ideal type: a girl with her own opinions and attitudes.

Jinwoo gets called slow rapper because of how slow he talks.

He gets teased by the other members a lot

MJ -  Kim Myung-jun (엠제이)

Position: Main Vocalist

Birthday: March 5, 1994

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Social Media: Instagram

Funfacts:

His nickname is “The Happy Virus”, because he’s always laughing and smiling.

He makes jokes all the time, he’s so funny really

Oldest member of the group (Hyung)

“Hello my name is MJ, I look younger than the other, but I am not”

He’s Eunwoo’s son (Even tho he’s older than him)

CRAZY VOCALS

Terrible English 

He calls himself “Smile Engine”.

The first person he befriended when he joined Fantagio was Sanha.

He’s also part of a trot K-pop group named Super Five

MJ’s ideal type: A girl with a nice smile, a good sense of humour and who is similar to him.

He’s the most talkative in Astro

Infectious laughter !!!!!!

Cha Eun Woo - Lee Dong Min (차은우)

Position: Vocalist, Visual, Face of The Group

Birthday: March 30, 1997

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Social Media:  Instagram

                         Tiktok       

Funfacts:         

His nickname is “Morning Alarm” because he always wakes up earlier and starts waking up the rest of the members.

Eunwoo’s other nickname is “White Tee Guy” (because during Breathless era, he always wore white t-shirts).

He’s consider to be the ‘normal’ one in ASTRO but don’t underestimate him ! 

CRAZY VISUALS

He’s called ‘Face Genius’ (meaning someone who has crazily handsome face)

He’s more shy and reserved than the other members

Eyes smile

“Gachi Gallae”

English King

He played in many Kdramas: My ID Is Gangnam Beauty, Hit The Top, True Beauty,..

He’s a literal angel who fell from the sky

Like, we don’t deserve him

Cha Eunwoo’s ideal type: A girl that’s curious, wise and intelligent.

Moonbin - Moon Bin (문빈)

Position: Main Dancer, Lead Vocalist, Center

Birthday: January 26, 1998

Zodiac Sign: Aquarius

Social Media: Instagram

Funfacts:  

CEO of being Sexy but also cute af

His nicknames are: U-Know MoonBin, Binnie, Sleepyhead, Puppycat (because he can make the face of a cat and the face of a puppy)

He loves playing video games

His favourite colour is Black

Moonbin’s ideal type: A girl with a good sense of humour.

Binwoo is the best ship (Him and Eunwoo)

He acted in Kdramas: “Boys Over Flower” (2009), “Perseverance Goo Haera” Ep. 1 (2015), “Moments of 18” (2019).

Stomach on legs

Personality: tender and warm-hearted

Moonbin’s ideal type: A girl with a good sense of humour.

Rocky -  Park Min Hyuk  (라키)

Position: Main Dancer, Lead Rapper, Vocalist

Birthday: February 25, 1999

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Social Media: Instagram

Funfacts:  

His nickname is “Chef Minhyuk”

Dancing skills ON POINT !

“Oh my gad no no no !” 

Rocky Swaaaaag

He created the choreography for most of the group dances. 

He acted in the Kdrama “Perseverance Goo Haera”

Personality: quiet, very reliable and hardworking

Fantagio staff named him “Dancing Machine”

Rocky’s ideal type: A caring, cute and nice girl.

Sanha - Yoon San Ha  (산하)

Position: Vocalist, Maknae

Birthday: March 21, 2000

Zodiac Sign: Aries

Social Media: Instagram

Funfacts:  

His nickname is “Beagle”

He’s the youngest member of the group (Maknae)

A BABY

Aegyo king

Evil Maknea

His favourite activity is to annoy the other members

His favourite color is Pink

He’s too pure for this world

He’s a giant (185 cm / 6′0″)

“BBUBBU” 

Sanha’s ideal type: A girl who thinks about him a lot and asks him about his day.

Okay ! I think we’re done now, i hope it helped you (At least a little) and rather if you’re a new fan, or you’ve known for a while, I would like to thank you for taking interest into them in the first place. They deserve more recognition really ! 

See you ! Wanna be your star !

[blazefire-engine]

Rivamika Office!AU

Alright fam, I made this on January 16, 2016. I made a few tweaks since I am now in the workforce and at the time I made this fic, I wasn’t LOL 

It’s never seen the light of day, but here it is. Enjoy my fellow Ackermates.

- - -

Slurp… Ah...

Mikasa gave a delicious sigh after slurping from a steamy cup of noodles.  Her consumption resulted in the artificial, sodium-packed broth to splash on the screen of her laptop.  However, at the current time stating to be half-past noon, her dirtied screen is the least of her concerns and a grumbling stomach was her number one priority.  This was the consequence of skipping breakfast to catch the bustling 7:00 a.m. train. 

As for missing the "most important meal of the day,” her wake-up time had been pushed fifteen minutes from the usual. Another consequence for submitting a coding assignment for her graduate course in the God-awful hour of 2:00 a.m.

Thus, these chain of events culminated into a terrible Monday morning.  It seemed that the whole world was against her when the day was accompanied with dreary skies, pouring rain, and, as if to pour salt on her metaphorical wound, without an umbrella.  

She strode in the building with her short hair damp and whiplashed as tendrils stuck to her face.  The Burberry trench coat did little to shield her from the rain but performed well as a barricade from the chilly wind.  

The beige coat, that now laid on a stool next to the heater and the one she had been staring at for the past few minutes, was the trigger that made her recall the horrendous morning.

Slurping another portion of noodles, the broth now splashed on the surface of her red-rimmed glasses.

“Tch, how unsanitary."

Mikasa looked up through her splattered glasses to see an intruder in her office space.  The source of the abhorred voice was a man in a crisp navy suit with a sleek laptop clutched to his hip.  His face clearly disturbed and a grimace plastered on his lips as he eyed the styrofoam cup in distaste.  

His comment was enough to stir annoyance.

Snatching off her glasses, she plucked a facial tissue from the desk drawer.  “Don’t you have the decency to knock?” She glared at the man and resumed the task of cleaning her lens.  

The man raised an eyebrow.  He paused, giving a subtle hum as if he needed to think of what to respond. “Particularly, I don’t have to.  I can roam about any room I wish.”  He finished his response with a smirk and walked to sit on the chair prior to her desk.  

Mikasa felt her body temperature rise upon each step he took and his arrogant tone grated on her nerves.  How dare he… If she held on any tighter, the wooden chopsticks in her hand would inevitably snap into two.  

“You must be quite the asshole then.”

“Excuse me?”  He replied, feigning innocence.  

“Butting into someone’s personal space without permission is quite the asshole move.”  She snapped back, explaining to him the reason for her anger.  

“Personal?  You’re here to work.  There’s nothing personal here."

Although his words did hold true, there is always that time of day that separates work from personal life.  

“It is personal if you intrude during my lunch break.”  Glancing at her cup, she finished the last of her noodles and patted her lips with a tissue while he simply sat and waited for her to finish.  

Well, he must have gone here for a reason.  Eyeing the laptop in his hand, she released a reluctant sigh. “So, what can I do for you?” Despite their rough start, Mikasa is a woman who never refused someone that needed help.  

The man’s expression perked up, seemingly pleased with her cooperation.  “I’ve heard you’re one of the best in the IT department and I was wondering if you can upgrade my software program.”  He waved the expensive-looking laptop and placed it on the stack of papers on her desk.  

“Are you unaware of how things work around here?” Mikasa frowned. “If you have any IT issues, you’d need to submit a service desk ticket.” She grabbed one of her stack of business cards, one that contained an e-mail and call number for the service desk, and slid it to him. “That way we can track your issue and file an internal report.”

He shook his head, glancing at his wrist. “I don’t have time to waste. I’m here now, aren’t I?”

Mikasa raised an eyebrow in disbelief.  “And you think I’ll do this for you right now?” She asked almost incredulously.  

He gave an uncharacteristic snort. “I would be a fool to believe you could, but think of this as helping a colleague."

She stared at the laptop, at a loss of what to do. The sheer audacity of this man to barge in and rudely ask for her to fix something without even a shred of consideration for her time. 

“How much do you have in mind?” The man asked in nonchalance.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes at his offer.  Just what kind of person did he think she was?  “I won’t ask for money.” She said firmly.  

She could have sworn she saw a smidgen of a smirk on his face. "So is that a yes?"

Before she can conjure up a proper response, she nodded once.  “You owe me a favor instead."

“A favor?” He repeated, now his turn to be surprised.  From the sound of it, the man smiled, very interested in her offer.  “Very well, what favor?"

The ears hidden underneath her hair were surely pink. Mikasa cleared her throat, rather embarrassed and she found the lint on his pants suddenly interesting.  “I don’t know… Rain check?"

“Well then, I accept, Ms. Ackerman.”  The man placed his laptop on her desk and checked his wrist for the time once more.  “Lunch break is over and I have a meeting. It was quite fascinating meeting with you, Ms. Ackerman.  I hope we can engage in another conversation soon.”  The man turned around, threw her a rather mysterious smirk over his shoulder, and left her office.  

She stared at her doorway, wondering who the hell was that guy.  She’d never seen him in the IT department before, so perhaps he was from another department.  

But as he left, she realized she never got his name or when she would give it back.   

- - -

This’ll probably have a part 2, although I don’t know when or how that’ll go LOL. But thank you so much for those who liked my previous post; it gave me the courage to once again post rm fics. 

Also, Mikasa with red-rimmed eyeglasses was from an official art years ago if I remember correctly. 

[bopbopstyles]

2. Birthday Kisses

SERIES RATING: M (sex)

CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 8.1k

MASTERLIST | INSPO TAG | ASK

Y/N promised herself she would never date a musician. It was her one rule–her only rule, actually–when it came to dating. But then, Harry Styles rolled into her life and asked her to break it, just this once. And this is what happened.

a/n: thank you for all the love on this story so far!!!! i’m so happy that so many of you are loving Y/N and Harry as much as me. shoot me messages about your thoughts and feelings - i want to hear them!!! xoxo

pls reblog to spread the word about only exception! 🥰

Harry had spent days trying to figure out where to take Y/N for their date. She said he would get one date, and so he was going to make sure it counted. After speaking to his mum and Gemma, as well as James Corden because it’s always good to have a grown man’s opinion, and the entirety of his band. On James’s recommendation, he found a drive-in movie theater on the outskirts of LA. Perfect because it was simple, would allow them to talk, and most of all, it was private. He would drive his own car with the tinted windows and he wouldn’t even really have to talk to anyone. Y/N had made it perfectly obvious that she wasn’t interested in dating a musician, so Harry wanted to keep their date as low key as possible as a result—he wanted her to forget what his job was and just get to know him as a person.

Deciding what to wear for their date was possibly harder, though. Did he just wear jeans and t-shirt? A button down? It was January, so did he go for a sweater? He had Harry Lambert on FaceTime for two hours going through outfits before Lambert told him to just pick something comfortable and that he had to go to bed. So Harry settled on a black button down and black jeans—simple, but he felt good in it. Confident. And he thought he looked good too—he had been working out, partially for Dunkirk filming back in the 2016, but also just generally. Since the band had broken up he had had more time to actually dedicate to himself, and he enjoyed it. Before, exercise had always been something squeezed into the day on the road, him half exhausted and barely alive enough to focus, and now he had energy and the motivation. It was a completely different experience. (It also helped that the other guys weren’t distracting him the whole time.)

At five thirty, he drove over to Y/N’s place—she’d moved out of her dad’s house after the renovation a few days ago. She had told him over text and he had to admit, he felt honored that she had shared facts of her life over text with him after how hesitant she was to go on the date with him.

I’m here, he texted her when he pulled up outside her building. It was an older style but in a nice neighborhood, a light brown brick exterior and not too modern. Can I come up?

Sure, she answered, Just finishing getting ready. Apt. 3C

He pulled on sunglasses, his lame attempt at a disguise, and headed inside, entering the gate code she sent over. He bounded up the stairs, thankful for the exercise to keep his brain busy. If he had taken the elevator he would’ve just stood there panicking. A welcome mat sat outside her door saying Welcome Home! and he smiled at it before knocking softly on her door.

She opened it a few beats later, shoeless and only one earring in. “Hi,” her voice breathless. “Sorry I’m a mess still, come on in.”

“No problem,” he answered, stepping inside. “Shoes on or…?”

“On is fine,” she replied. “I’m not as anal about it as my Dad is.”

Harry nodded, leaving his shoes on, and glanced around her place. There were some things still in disarray, probably from the recent renovation, but all in all it looked perfectly lived in and homey. He missed London and his house, the feeling of having a home base and someplace that felt like his own. He liked the house he was renting for the time being, but it wasn’t his, the bed wasn’t as comfortable as his one in Hampstead, and he desperately missed his expensive blender for morning smoothies. “I like your place.”

Y/N glanced around the space before back at him. “Thank you. Um, make yourself at home? I’ll be just a few.” With that, she was gone into a bedroom, Harry left in the kitchen. He wandered into the living room and explored her bookcase. She had a great selection of stuff, everything from classics like Zora Neale Hurston to The Hunger Games, which Harry had secretly adored and read three times. The walls were laden with picture frames of her and friends from what seemed like her time in college—kegs and Halloween costumes featured prominently, as well as some with her friends at the beach. He tried not to think about her in a bikini for too long. There was also a framed sheet of paper and when he looked closer he realized it was the lyrics to her father’s most famous song, one which he realized was definitely about becoming a father to Y/N. He had listened to all of her father’s music in preparation for their songwriting session and this one was one of his favorites, the raw emotion in it breathtaking.

“Okay,” she aid, entering the doorway of her room. “I’m ready.” She had a different top, the soft purple chiffon falling in vents, swishing as she moved. A pair of loose but flattering denim jeans on her legs, black booties giving her a few more inches in height. A pale red lip and light eyeliner that made her brown eyes pop, the same kind that had been done on my own eyes for many a photoshoot. She looked perfect, gorgeous, like words he didn’t even have.

“You look…incredible,” he said, struggling to speak.

Y/N glanced down at her clothes and then back at him. “Uh, thank you. You too.”

Harry smiled at her and then nodded to the door. “C’mon, we don’t want to be late.”

“You have’t even told me where we’re going!”

“It’s a secret.”

“I don’t want it to be a secret,” she said when they got in the elevator. Harry didn’t want to make her climb down stairs in her boots.

“Well, you’ll have to live,” Harry replied. He hoped she liked the date. If not, he was truly fucked.

When he pulled into the drive-in, Y/N laughed and the sound made Harry’s heart soar. It wasn’t too packed, it being a Wednesday night and all, so they were able to get a spot without too many cars around. He pulled the popcorn bags and bars of chocolate he had brought out from the backseat and handed her a bottle of water.

“You thought of everything, didn’t you?” She said, accepting the bottle with a smile. “What’s the film?”

“The Birds,” he replied, “hope that’s okay. I love Hitchcock and assumed everyone does, but if it’s not your cup of tea we can go—“

She shook her head at him, fingers coming to grip his thigh in a way that set his skin on fire. “It’s perfect. Love this film—Dad and I watched it together years ago and I’ve been meaning to re-watch.”

Harry smiled at her, settling back into his seat. “Candy or popcorn?”

“Popcorn definitely,” she answered, taking the back he handed her. “What about you? Sweet or salty?”

“Depends on the sweet.” He raised the chocolate bar. “This, for instance, is an always. But something like Dum Dums? No thank you.”

“Who even eats Dum Dums?”

Harry chuckled. “Not me.”

Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, and Harry went to fiddle with the radio, turning the channel to match the one for the film. “I’m glad you persuaded me to come,” she said softly, voice barely audible above the sound from the radio as the previews started. “Been a while since I went on a date.”

Harry looked at her in surprise. “I’m happy you came,” he replied. Clearing his throat, he continued, “truth be told, I wanted to ask you out the moment I saw you. Mainly just to get to know you better. I also, honestly, loved how comfortable you were in the music scene—a lot of girls I’ve dated in the past aren’t and it becomes an issue.”

“I get that,” she said. “It’s not the easiest for outsiders.” Before Harry could respond, the film started, and their attention was redirected to the massive screen in front of them.

Even though he was supposed to be watching the screen, his eyes kept flittering back to Y/N. Her side profile entranced him, the curl of her hair perfectly coiled—he wondered what products she used, maybe he should try them? Lou had been telling him to actually get a grip on his hair care routine, but most days lately he couldn’t be bothered. It’s not like he was doing press anyways. When Y/N gasped, hand reaching from the popcorn back to grip his thigh, he tensed and not from panic, but from desire. He wanted to kiss her lips, her lips with faded red lipstick from eating popcorn, her lips that curved up when she smiled and looked soft and utterly delicious.

When he saw she was fidgeting, not able to figure out where to place her legs, he snatched her ankles and dragged them over to his lap. It was a reflex and one that earned him a “What are you doing?” but when he started rubbing her calves in circles, a soft murmur left her mouth and she looked back to the film. Harry loved her feet in his lap, allowing him the ability to notice the daisy chain tattooed around her left ankle. A gasp tumbled into the car when he ran his finger along the skin, her eyes meeting his and suddenly the air in the car changed completely.

It was an hour into the film and other than brief conversation about the film, Y/N saying how much more fucked up it was than she remembered, it had been mostly silent. Harry wondered if she was as preoccupied with how much she wanted him as he was with how much he wanted her.

Then suddenly, her kicked off her boots so she was just in her socks, and with her eyes still on the screen, she rubbed her foot down on his dick. Harry let out a hiss, unable to process what was happening or the shiver that went up his back at the pressure. “Y/N,” he said in a warning. “What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” she said, innocent as hell except for the smirk on her lips.

“You little minx.” He tossed her boots into the backseat and tickled the bottom of her feet, the squeak that left her mouth allowing him to feel like he’d gotten some form of revenge. “Bored or something?”

Y/N giggled and the sound made Harry’s heart soar. “No, just interested in something else.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

Harry trailed his fingers up her leg slowly, basking in the soft moan that filled the car. “Y/N, I really want to kiss you,” he said, not even fearing her response to the words. She’d started it. He wanted to finish it.

Y/N looked back at him, eyes finally leaving the screen. “Then kiss me,” she said bluntly and Harry didn’t waste another second. He leaned over the center console and tugged Y/N to him with his fingers at the back of her neck and when their lips met Harry kicked himself for not doing this earlier. Her lips were soft, just like he’d thought, and salty from the popcorn, a butter sheen making them delectable. Her fingers wound through his hair, tugging gently, a hiss falling from his mouth and into hers. He ignored the crink in his neck from the position and instead focused on the way Y/N pressed soft kisses to the corners of his mouth. Her hand slid down his front, tucking her fingers between the buttons of his shirt, goosebumps raising on his skin.

“Y/N,” he breathed out, her name a plea and a question all in one. He didn’t want to overstep her boundaries, the memory of her rule—No musicians—echoing loudly in his brain. But he also wanted to kiss her until the end of time.

“Can you move your seat back?” She asked, brushing her thumb along his jaw. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, but he did as she asked. And then she swung her legs over the console, one knee on either side of his waist, and he understood. And he was not mad in the slightest.

Their lips reconnected as a scream came from the radio, but neither of them paid it any mind. The movie was a forgotten memory, their entire focus on where their lips met, nipped at one another, and battled for dominance. Y/N’s hands scrambled all over his body, curling into his button down and leaving wrinkles Harry didn’t give a fuck about. The way her fingernails dug into his skin through the fabric made him buck into her and he loved the gasp that left her mouth, the way her thighs tightened around his hips. He wanted to hear her sounds on an endless loop, noise cancelling headphones on and the world drowned out around him. All he wanted to hear, to see, to smell, was Y/N. The subtle, clean perfume she had put on, her lavender shampoo he could smell when he nestled his nose below her ear to lick her lobe, the faint scent of marijuana and Harry couldn’t help but wonder if she’d smoke with him sometime.

Harry squeezed her hips, ruching her shirt up so he could brush his fingers across her skin. A whine escaped her lips and he chased it with his lips, wanting to hear more. He licked into her mouth, their tongues meeting. Y/N sucked hesitantly on his tongue and he groaned, Y/N giggling against his lips at the sound. “You menace,” he said, kissing a line down the column of her neck. “Driving me mad.” He nipped at the skin at the base of her neck and Y/N’s fingers curled into his hair, holding him there as she bucked her hips against him.

Kissing Y/N was everything Harry had been dreaming about since he met her. He had had actual dreams of kissing her, of knowing what it felt like to touch her skin, of her running her fingers down his arms like she was doing right in that second. He had woken up wondering if her lips would taste as good as they did in his dreams. In reality, she tasted better than he could’ve ever imagined. Sweeter, like a dewy English morning.

“Harry,” Y/N said, pulling away slightly from him. He tried to chase her lips but she just giggled and shook her head.

“What? Miss your lips.” He pressed a litter of kisses across her cheeks and her jaw, earning him gasps until Y/N tugged his head back from her.

“The seat buckle,” her words breathless, “it’s digging into my knee.”

Harry looked down and found that it was, indeed, digging into her kneecap in a way that was most definitely not comfortable. “We, uh, could go in the backseat?” Her face was unreadable and panic seized him—had he crossed a line? “Or we can stop—either is fine with me, I just want to be around you, we don’t have to do anything more and we can stop what we’re doing, I don’t—“

She shushed him with a finger to his lips. “Can we just stop for right now? I…I don’t want to rush into anything.”

Harry nodded quickly, running his hand up her back, desperately wish he could touch her bare skin under her shirt. “Of course. Wanna sit in your seat?”

Y/N looked at her seat and then at him. “Um, not really.”

His eyebrows quirked in response.

“Can I sit with you?” Her voice was small, hesitant. This Y/N was so unlike the one he had met, the strong and fierce girl who told him no. Here, Y/N was cautious in a different way, wanting to make sure what she did was okay with him too, and it warmed his heart that she cared about making him comfortable in the same way he did.

“ Of course, love,” the pet name slipping from his lips without a second thought. “C’mere.” With some difficulty, they adjust so that he was holding her, reclining his chair back slightly. Her body curled up, head resting on his shoulder, legs hooked over his in the small space between his seat and the door. Harry held her knees so they didn’t slip with one hand, the other trailing up and down her back. Y/N’s fingers traced circles on his abdomen and Harry tried to restrain from moaning, but he could feel the singe of her touch through his shirt and it destroyed him. “That better?”

“Mhmm,” she answered, eyes on the movie. “You’re comfortable.”

Harry chuckled, loving the way her mouth curled upwards at her little joke. He loved the feeling of her body against him, her weight pressed into him. A calm washed over him that he hadn’t felt since he was in London. With lips pressed to her hair, he settled in to watch the rest of the film, deciding he wouldn’t move her unless she asked, no matter how much his thighs ached.

After the movie ended, they drove to get ice creams, Y/N running inside to grab them so they didn’t run the risk of anyone seeing Harry. He drove down I5 to get back to her apartment, the lights of the city passing by them as they drove. Y/N told Harry about her work, the recent projects she was on, her co-workers who she adored, especially Jamie, the other strategist on her level. Harry listened intently, wanting to absorb every piece of information she told him like he was going to be tested on it later.

As he pulled up to her building, Y/N leaned over and turned down the volume of the music that had been playing in the background. It was Harry’s driving playlist, a lovingly curated collection of his favorite songs, one that was always a test for him of a person’s musical likeness. Y/N bopped her head along to all of his favorites, softly singing the lyrics to The Chain, so she officially passed the test.

“I had fun tonight,” Y/N said, looking over at him.

Harry threw the car in park and met her eyes. “Me too.” He wanted to ask if he could take her out again, but he didn’t want to rush her—he’d promised to take it at her pace, and he would keep that promise.

Y/N picked at her fingernails, the blue varnish chipping at the tips. “Would you want to do this again?”

A grin crossed Harry’s face, his highest hope realized. “I’d love to. I’ll text you?” Y/N nodded, and Harry took her hand in his, raising it to his lips and pressing a delicate kiss to her knuckles. “Text me when you’re in, okay?”

Faster than he could process, Y/N leaned across the console and kissed him. A quick, albeit deep kiss to his lips that left his mind scrambling as she pulled away and opened the car door. Her top swished in the wind as she walked away from him, the light from the street-lamps illuminating her figure in the dark night. Harry watched as she walked away, fading from sight, The 1975’s Somebody Else coming on shuffle.

His phone illuminated with a text from her a beat later. Inside. Thanks for tonight! :)

I’m happy I could get a second date, he replied, trying to be funny. Can’t wait to see you again xx

She replied with a heart and Harry tried not to read too much into it as he drove away with the windows down, Matty Healy’s voice filling the night air.

It had been two weeks since Harry took Y/N to the drive in, and since then Y/N’s days had been filled with texts from Harry at all hours of the day. He would send her memes he found on Twitter or Instagram, sometimes a photo of his lunch for the day, and ask her about work. She’d send him a selfie of her work outfit when she was feeling particularly confident and he’s text back a heart eye emoji, and one night after a few glasses of wine they FaceTimed, both in their pajamas in bed. Those quiet, soft moments, were the ones that kept Y/N feeling close to Harry in between hours here and there watching films and making out on their respective couches.

Curled up on her couch, Harry holding her close, fingers threading through her hair as they watched The Good Place, Y/N couldn’t remember feeling this at ease this quickly with any other men she’d dated. But with Harry, she felt comfortable in her oversized sweatshirt and ratty sweatpants, hair tossed into a messy bun and her glasses perched on her nose, a glass of wine in her hand. There wasn’t a part of her who felt like she still had to impress him, he was just…Harry. And that was the part that scared her, because if she forgot about his job, about his popularity, did that mean she would let him get too close? She had made her rule for a reason, and this moment was a prime example of how important it was.

The episode ended, Netflix asking them if they were still watching, and Harry squeezed her shoulder. “Want some more?” He asked, nodding to her wine glass.

“Sure,” she answered, sitting up and handing it to him. “We might need to open a fresh bottle—there’s more—“

“In the pantry, I know,” he said, cutting her off with a smile. He’d spent many nights with her on this couch and at this point she didn’t need to tell him where the forks were or where here recycling bin was.  

Y/N tugged the blanket around her shoulders, cold from Harry leaving, and pressed pause on the TV. “Another episode?”

“Obviously,” Harry responded from the kitchen. She rolled over so she could watch him prepare the wine glasses, the sight of him standing in her kitchen, opening the wine on her marble countertops made her stomach flutter with butterflies. Every day that passed made it harder to hold him at a distance. “Are you free on the 1st?” He asked out of nowhere, pouring the wine into their glasses.

“Not sure,” Y/N responded. “Why?”

Harry looked up at her with a devious smile, the one Y/N had grown to enjoy. “It’s my birthday. Having a party and I was hoping you’d come.”

The idea of being in a room full of Harry’s friends, most of whom she would’t know, made Y/N’s head spin. But then again, she thought to herself, it wouldn’t be much different from going to an industry function with her dad and she’d been doing that since she was in diapers. She could hold her own. And plus, it was Harry’s birthday and the prospect of seeing him drunk and happy and eating cake was worth some discomfort. “Sure.”

His face lit up, eyes sparkling under the low lights of her kitchen. “Brilliant. Can’t wait for you to meet everyone—you’ll love them.” He brought over the wine glasses, tugging her back into his chest, arms a secure safe haven. “Now press play, wanna see what Eleanor and Chidi get up to this time.”

“I just want them to get together already,” she said, pressing play and settling into him, her face on his chest.

“Mhm,” he agreed, fingers scratching her scalp in the way she loved, and she tried not to let her eyes drift shut to the sound of his heart beating and the TV going.

With a gin and tonic in her hand and a forced smile on her face, Y/N wove her way through the crowd, trying to find Harry. She didn’t want to seem desperate, but he was her safety blanket of sorts—she didn’t know any of these people. Harry seemed to run in different circles from her dad and the people she’d grown up around, and the prospect of having to be a leech to Harry all night wasn’t exactly comforting. She didn’t want to be that annoying new girl that he had to introduce to everyone.

But then she heard her name from somewhere around her and she knew immediately that it was him. “Y/N!” Her eyes swept around her surroundings until they fell on his smile. He had his hair pushed back by a pair of sunglasses—despite that it was dark out—and he was in a velvet top with a crewneck underneath it. It was impossible, she thought, not to notice how stunning he was. She also wondered how much effort it would take to get him to take that crewneck off, because after the other times he had worn an unbuttoned shirt around her she knew it was one of her favorite things for him to wear.

She decided she would ask him when she gave him his birthday present.

Cutting through the people around her, Excuse me and I’m sorrys falling from her lips as she made her way over to the birthday boy, Y/N considered what he would make of her gift. She’d thought about it long and hard, called her best friend Hanna and Jamie on FaceTime to make sure she wasn’t being too presumptuous, but they’d reassured her she was fine. Overdue, even.

“Happy Birthday,” she said when she reached him, his hand immediately slipping around her waist. From the gleam in his eyes, she assumed he was a few drinks in and she wondered what silly dance moves he would whip out tonight. He’d shown her some earlier in the week after she had made them dinner and he’d had her giggling in seconds.

Harry’s hand squeezed the flesh at her hip, sending tingles up her spine, his eyes not leaving hers. “Thank you, baby.” It was the first time he’d used the nickname and Y/N tried not to think about the way it made her heart constrict with desire. “You look gorgeous.”

Jamie and Hanna had persuaded her to wear the outfit, despite her fears it was too much, but with Harry’s eyes on her and the way his hand curved into her body, she decided it was the right move. The short skirt and knee high boots she had been wanting to break out for ages, a silver top tucked loosely into the waistband to emphasize the curve of her waist. “Thanks,” she replied. “Now you going to introduce me, or will I have to do that myself?”

Harry blinked and the man and woman he was talking to chuckled. Y/N was happy she had made a good first impression—maybe making a joke or two at Harry’s expense would be her ice breaker. Not too many to where it hurt him, but enough to show people that she didn’t care about his fame, that to her he was just Harry, the idiot who did the Macarena in her living room to ABBA. “Oh, this is Mitch and Sarah,” he said, “they’re in my band. Mitch, Sarah, this is Y/N.”

“Pleasure,” the woman said, reaching out to hug Y/N. The display of affection warmed Y/N—maybe she wouldn’t have to be alone all night. This woman, Sarah, seemed lovely, and if she was in Harry’s band then she’d probably be seeing more of her at some point. “Harry mentioned you the other day. Said you have a sweet little place in Atwater?”

“Yes!” Y/N replied, her neighborhood one of her favorite topics of discussion. “I love it—moved in right after I graduated and it’s been perfect.”

“And what do you do, Y/N?” Mitch asked, taking a sip of his beer in his hand.

“Brand strategy,” Harry answered for her. “She’s utterly brilliant at it too—Y/N can you tell them about the project you were talking about at dinner on Tuesday?”

His words caused Y/N to glance at him with shock. She’d never had a guy answer for her before, but she could tell it wasn’t from a place of Harry trying to speak over her, but a place of pride—and support. “Yeah—it’s for a new ethical clothing brand out of Seattle, they’re working on size-inclusive athletic attire for women. The models for the campaign are going to be super diverse and I’m really excited to see it in the industry, since it’s been few and far between, especially in the fitness space.”

Sarah nodded along and Y/N could tell that she got it. “I’d love to know the company—could you text it to me?”

Harry gave Y/N another squeeze and she swallowed the smile that threatened to stay plastered on her face if Harry did that one more time. “Sure thing.” Sarah typed her number into Y/N’s phone, a little sunflower next to her name that reminded Y/N of Harry. It felt good to have a connection to one of Harry’s friends, especially someone as lovely as Sarah seemed.

And Sarah didn’t disappoint. She made Y/N her pet project for the evening, taking over when Harry had to talk to someone, keeping Y/N entertained and introducing her to people. By the time she had finished her second drink, she fonud herself deep in a conversation about a new art exhibit downtown that Jamie had mentioned to her. The thought of Harry’s presence hadn’t even popped into her head and it was nice to be independent in the space, to hold her own in the crowd. She realized that she fit in with his friends, despite her fears.

Harry kept on coming over though, grabbing her hand and leading her to talk to someone he worked with or was close with or he thought she’d find interesting. He refilled their glasses when she asked and kept an arm wrapped around her waist, a smile beaming down at her that filled her with joy. To be so supported by a man she’d only been seeing for a matter of weeks felt unreal, but she wasn’t mad about it. The newest conversation was with an up and coming photographer who Harry had taken a liking to, Harry explained to her.

“And this is my girlfriend Y/N,” he said, gesturing to her.

The title of girlfriend almost passed her over completely, but when she processed it, it stopped her dead in her tracks. They hadn’t talked about titles, about officially being boyfriend and girlfriend, as silly as the term sounded. Every other time he’d introduced her , it was just Y/N, although she assumed the way he held her close probably gave away their relationship to anyone who had eyes. After all, it had only been a few weeks, so they were still infatuated with touching one another. Y/N couldn’t keep her hands off of him either, fingers slipping into a belt loop absentmindedly or creeping up his back and rubbing circles there while he talked.

And maybe it was for those reasons that the word girlfriend didn’t affect her as much as she expected it to. It felt somewhat right, even, she thought. It wasn’t like she particularly wanted to be seeing anyone else, after all—Harry had swooped into her life and she’d become obsessed with spending time with him, despite her rule and her objections to the idea of him. He had shocked her with his charm and honesty and intellect, the way he listened to her and asked her questions, how he held her close and murmured his commentary to films in her ear, willing to jump up and get her ice cream anytime she asked. Even though he was the definition of the man she had always promised herself she would never date, the idea of ending things made her recoil.

So she let the term slide. She smiled and shook the man’s hand, listening intently to him describe his newest exhibition and tucked his business card into her purse when he handed it to her. Later, she told herself. She’d talk to Harry later.

She cheered when Harry blew out the birthday candles on his cake, laughing along with everyone else when James Corden tried to shove his face into the cake. When Harry kissed the top of her head chastely, lips sweet with icing, she reveled in the moment, taking a bite of her own slice. It was late and she was getting tired and she desperately wanted to give Harry his gift with the more time that passed and the more messy his curls got and the more drinks she had. And then Harry started dancing with Sarah and James and a dozen other people, and suddenly he was dragging her onto the dance floor, holding her close and shimmying his hips along to Ariana Grande with her. Her head tipped back and a laugh rang through the night and she decided there was simply no way she could break it off. Harry had proved her wrong and she was going to let him continue.

Their kisses were heavy when they stumbled into Y/N’s apartment, the door slamming shut behind them. It was after midnight and they were both quite tipsy, maybe even drunk. Harry more so than her, but not to the point where he couldn’t tell her how everything she did made him feel.

“Your lips are heaven,” he said, pressing a line down her throat with her pressed up against the door. “How are they so soft? Do you have some special scrub or somethin’?”

“It’s from fresh,” she answered. “Fuck, Harry.” His hand had wrapped around her thigh and tugged it up around his hip so that he could press himself into her center and the friction had her sweating. The combination of his weight against hers and the wetness of his tongue on her collarbones as he sucked a kiss into her skin left her squirming in his hold, hands gripping his coat tightly in her hands. “Get this off,” she said, pushing at his coat.

“Bossy,” he chuckled, shrugging it off, the material falling to the ground. “Want me out of anything else, ma’am?”

Mischief twinkled in his eyes and Y/N wanted him completely naked, but that was a bit much for the entryway to her apartment. “Shirt.”

He unbuttoned his velvet shirt, pulling it off, but Y/N caught it in her hands. He looked at her quizzically, trying to understand what she was doing.

“Want this on,” she explained, holding up the velvet top. “And that one off.” Her fingers pulled at the neck of his crewneck and Harry’s eyes trailed to her fingers and then back to her face.

“I like your brain,” he said simply. And then complied with her request, crewneck over his head and on the ground. Y/N’s fingers were on his chest immediately, drawing patterns over his tattoos that she knew were there from seeing him in tank tops and thin t-shirts, but it was another thing entirely to be able to touch the ink on his body.

When he tugged on his velvet shirt, Y/N smiled, touching the fabric. “Should’ve just worn this.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.” Her hands slid under the material, desperate to touch him again.

“I’ll make sure to get your approval next time.”

“Good.” Then, she pulled his lips back to hers, the touch of his mouth on hers leaving her humming. He ate it up, tongue licking into her mouth, the taste of tequila and cake filling her senses. His hand drifted up her side, squeezing the skin next to her breasts. She knew what he wanted and she didn’t want to say no to him. “Bedroom?”

Harry’s eyes widened, dropping to her lips and then back up to her eyes. “You sure?”

“Positive,” she answered. Then, she leaned in so she could whisper in his ear, “I have a present to give you.”

With that information, Harry swept her up in his arms, ignoring her pleas for him to set her down, and carried her into the bedroom. Dropping her onto the duvet, he crawled up her body like a cat, head nuzzling into her skin in a way that was so sweet Y/N didn’t know what to do with herself. “I want my present,” Harry mumbled. “What do I have to unwrap, baby?”

Y/N mewled at the last word of his sentence and he winked at her. Baby. “You said that earlier.”

He lifted his head and looked at her. “And?”

A smile wormed its way onto her face. “I like it.”

“Good,” he said, tucking his face back into her body, blowing hot air over her breasts. She could feel the sensation through the fabric of her top and it tightened her nipples, begging for more. “You like anything else I said tonight?”

“Hmm?”

“When we were talking to Eric,” he said, not meeting her eyes, instead pressing wet kisses down her tummy, rucking the hem of the fabric up slightly so he could touch her skin. “Called you something.”

Girlfriend. She knew where he was going and she couldn’t help but chuckle at his coyness. “I caught that.”

He licked into her bellybutton, a yelp escaping her mouth at the sensation. “Thoughts?”

“Can you take my shirt off already, boyfriend?” She didn’t even pause—she’d thought about it for the rest of the night, toying with the terms. The time had allowed her to process and now she knew what she wanted—she wanted him. She’d figure the rest of it out later, but first she wanted him.

Finally, Harry met her eyes. His face was illuminated by the light from her bedside table lamp, the soft glow showing the light tan to his skin, his green eyes popping up to hers. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He kissed the soft skin above her belly button. “We’ll talk more about it later. But first, I want to see you.” Y/N leaned up and helped him take her shirt off, then shimmy the skirt down her hips. She kicked her boots off somewhere in the process. Lying in just her underwear for him, she tried not to squirm under his gaze as he took inventory of every inch of her exposed skin. “Beautiful,” he finally breathed out, eyes glassy and lips wet. “So fucking beautiful.”

“Your turn,” she said, tugging at his pants. “Get out of these.”

“Give me a second, Jesus woman,” he said, batting her hands away so he could get the button undone. The jeans were tight, which Y/N didn’t hesitate to make fun of him for, and Harry just rolled his eyes at her. “You love them,” he countered and he wasn’t wrong. When he hovered over her in just his boxers, Y/N decided he was positively delectable. Her hands pushed off his top that he had kept on just for her, the fabric falling somewhere on her floor.

“Roll over,” she directed, pushing at his torso so he would lay down in the space next to her.

He was compliant, completely under her spell. In just their underwear, there was far more skin to explore and Y/N planning to take advantage of her opportunity. She ran her hands over his skin, every tattoo earning a kiss from her lips, mumbling how pretty he was as she went down his body. It was like a map, and a map she wanted to know by heart. When he bucked into her core, Y/N smirked at him, Harry groaning as she ignored what he needed.

“Quite bossy, aren’t you?”

“It’s my birthday present, ain’t it?”

Y/N pressed a finger to his lips, hushing him as she had before and yet again, it worked. “Haven’t even told you what it is.” Clamoring off his body, she made her way lower, resting next to his knees. She brushed a finger over the outline of him in his boxer, a guttural moan filling the room at her touch. “That’s your birthday gift,” she told him, words falling soft in the space around them.

“Yeah?” He choked out as she gripped him harder through his boxers. “Please, Y/N, please.” His begs did something to her, his desperation pulling the same from her. She wanted to touch him, to have him in her mouth, to know how he tasted.

Her fingers pulled at his boxers, tugging them down his long legs and letting them fall to the end of her bed. His cock sprung up against his belly, hard and heavy, the tip pink from his desire. “Needy, hm?” Y/N didn’t usually do dirty talk, but with Harry it just fell from her mouth without another thought. The comfort of being with him made her usual worries about what she said collapse, her only thought his pleasure. “What do you want, baby?”

The pet name seemed to do something special to him because he bucked up into the air with a hiss. “Hands. Mouth. Anything.”

Y/N could do anything. She slid back into the spot between his legs and licked a solid stripe up the underside of him, the growl that left his mouth music to her ears. Taking the tip into her mouth she bobbed down as far as she could—she wanted to surprise him, start strong. None of this slow and steady crap. She wanted Harry to know how good she was, how good she could make him feel. She wanted to rock his fucking world.

And she did. She built a steady tempo, taking what she couldn’t fit in her mouth in her hands, rubbing him up and down, the slick of her saliva making the work easy. Harry’s hand found her hair, thumbing through it to keep it out of her face, the sweet motion making her heart sing. Every once in a while she would push down so that he hit the back of her throat and keep him there as long as she could, inhaling through her nose, the choked groan from his chest making the feeling worth it. When his hips popped up, his tip pressing deeper, she let him do it, loving the feeling of him in her mouth. She loved the moans filling the air and the way he rasped her name like the chorus to his favorite song, how he tugged on her hair and wound the strands between his fingers.

She decided that going down on him was her new favorite past time. She would make it a fucking national sport if that meant she could do it every day, because seeing him falling apart from her and her alone brought her a kind of gratification she had never felt.

“Close?” Her words pulled him from a daze, tongue darting over his lower lip.

“Yeah.”

That made Y/N double down her efforts. She wanted him to cum, she wanted it so badly she felt it in every bone of her body. “Want you to come,” she mumbled against him, the vibrations of her voice sending shocks through his body. “Come for me, H.”

He gasped, bucking into her mouth. “You—your mouth? I—“

“Come for me, baby,” her voice a beg, a plea. She wanted to taste him, to know how what he tasted like, to kiss him with the taste still lingering on her tongue.

When he came, she had to wonder if this was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. The way he tossed his head back, mouth in a silent scream as he emptied into her mouth. He held her head in place lightly, just enough so there was weight but not too much where she couldn’t move, his other hand gripping the duvet cover in a tight grip. And his taste—he tasted a bit salty, but she didn’t mind. It was tangy, a taste that was him, and she loved it. She held him there on her tongue until he stopped, the ropes of his orgasm stopping finally, and she slipped him from her mouth. As he settled, his chest rose and fell quickly, regaining his breath.

She pressed her head to his thigh, out of breath too, her eyes on him. Watching him regain composure was a sight she would dream of, his hair scattered across her pillow in disarray, the flush to his cheeks, the pants from his parted lips.

“C’mere,” he finally said, voice raw. “Want a kiss.”

Y/N didn’t make him wait. She crawled up his body, legs on either side of his stomach and pressed her lips to his. The idea of him tasting himself on her tongue made her hot, her center clenching, but it was all about Harry tonight. “Happy Birthday,” she mumbled against his lips and he chuckled. “Hope it was a good one.”

“Best one yet,” he told her, smoothing her hair behind her ear. “Tired?”

She nodded, face held in his hands. “Stay?”

Harry smiled and pressed a kiss to her nose. “Course. Got an extra toothbrush?”

In the morning, she woke up in his embrace, arms curled tightly around her frame. He’d kicked some of the covers off overnight, but thankfully he was as hot as a furnace so she wasn’t cold. Without even thinking about it, she cuddled against his chest, shutting her eyes to hold onto the moment a little longer.

“I know you’re awake,” he whispered and Y/N rolled her eyes at him.

Turning over so she could see his face, she murmured, “Sleep well?”

“Perfectly,” he answered. “These sheets are cozy.”

“Target.”

“Huh. Maybe I’ll have to get some.”

She chuckled, pressing her face into his chest. “I don’t wanna get up.”

“Then don’t,” he replied, brushing her hair back. “Wanted to talk to you, though.”

“Hmm?” Her eyes were closed against his skin and it was blissful. He smelled like sweat and his cologne and the distinct smell of Harry, a scent she was quickly growing to adore.

Tucking a leg between hers, he said, “This is a busy year for me. The album’s coming out in May, then Dunkirk in July, then tour in the fall. And I know that you don’t want to date a musician and I know it’s early days, but I—I can’t imagine losing you, you know? So I want to have a plan for how we’re going to do it. Cuz it won’t be easy.”

Y/N looked up at him, the morning sunlight hitting his cheekbones perfectly. “The fact that you even want to have that conversation means so much.” Her words were honest—they showed he cared. He wanted to try, to make it work. “Let’s figure out the specifics when it comes time for that, but for now you’ll be here, yeah?” He nodded and she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “Let’s make a promise to each other. We talk. All the time about everything and anything. Don’t bottle it up, just share what’s going on in your head. I think that’ll make it somewhat easier. And we visit as much as we can.”

Harry’s fingers ran across the bridge of her nose and then up, a line across the tops of her eyebrows. “I like that.”

“But it’s a continuing conversation, okay?” She added, wanting to make sure this was clear. “We have to keep talking about it, even though it’s harder than it is to ignore it.” It was something she knew from watching her dad over the years and from her own relationship with him. Once she told him that he was gone too much, that she wanted him home, he made it happen. He prioritized her, she just had to remind him that she wanted him there.

“Okay.” Harry kissed her forehead, and then across her cheeks, soft kisses pressed to her skin that left her in giggles. “Now let’s eat something—I’m starved.” Y/N groaned, but let him pull her out of bed. They brushed their teeth together, him pressing toothpaste kisses to her lips, and she let him use her face wash and moisturizer. It was perfect, and for that moment, Y/N’s worries of the future fell away and she hoped she could hold them off. At least for a while.

TAGLIST

@smokeinherperfume @afire-hes @harryinsweatersandbandanas @marinalima3 @havethetimeofyourstyles @ursogoldenshan @inmygardensuit @marinalima3 @amaridon @harrys-watermelons @dontgiveupthedayjob @cronias13 @apples2019 @laula843 @afterstylesmadeit  @kait-brin @harrys-watermelons @groovybaybee @clumsywithlove93 @1142590m

Would you like to know when I update The Only Exception? Let me know here!

NEXT CHAPTER COMING JULY 8TH @ NOON CST

[grimelords]

I have been unbelievably busy for all of 2020 so far. Starting a new job and crunching to finish an old one, it's been very good but it has also meant that I haven't had the downtime I'd have liked in order to write long screeds about when drums sound good in songs so my December and January playlists unfortunately never got finished. They will exist as 'lost' playlists in the grimelords canon where you will simply have to listen to them and have your own thoughts about the songs instead of having your judgement clouded by me saying things like 'this sounds nice' and 'I love when the guitar goes woo-eee'.

You can listen to them here:

December https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4crPEVSPwftPpWl14xUrXF

January https://open.spotify.com/playlist/25MP7onYLCwWRYBIi0u3yc

As far as this, my February playlist goes: It's great! It's two and a half hours. The songs sounds nice and the guitars go woo-eee. I was worried I wouldn't be able to listen to as much music with my new job but it turns out I'm listening to more than ever which is extremely nice. Please enjoy, and if you'd like to subscribe to this playlist please do so here: https://tinyletter.com/grimelords

Listen to this playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ZraEZOeS6qvVxfnz3AJS9

Ballad Of The Skeletons - Allen Ginsberg, Paul McCartney, Phillip Glass and Lenny Kaye: I had a dim childhood memory of this 1996 Hottest 100 funny skeleton song that my sister randomly brought up this month and was was shocked to find out that somewhere deep in my brain the part where the electric chair skeleton says “hey what’s cooking???” was still stored. I was also shocked to find out that the funny skeleton song I remembered from when I was a kid was actually a collaboration between Allen Ginsberg, Paul McCartney and Phillip Glass and was an unexpected hit on MTV and Triple J in 1996 for an as yet unknown reason.

I Can Go With You - Sam Burton: This song came up in my Discover Weekly, and I was so excited to listen to more of this 70s singer songwriter I've never heard of before who has no doubt had a long and illustrious career and was shocked to find out that not only is this song from 2020, it is also the first and so far only release by Sam Burton and his debut album is coming out sometime this year. I love how plain it is, and the first time I heard it it made no impression on me until a couple of hours later when I realised I was humming the melody to myself. It has this decepitive simplicity to it, and it sounds like a song you've always known which is really about as good a compliment as you can give a song. I also love this statement from him: “I was writing a song a day for 30 days as a personal challenge to myself. I Can Go With You came near of that practice and I considered it a throwaway at the time. After recording most of the album I still needed a couple more songs and decided to throw it on and we recorded it live followed by two others. When I listened back it ended up being one of the tracks I was happiest with on the record.” I love when artists are asked about songs and they have no divine inspiration to relate, just a process of daily work where they're like "well, I wrote it, like I always do. Did the chords and the words and everthing just like normal. I write hundreds of these things and this one came out pretty good. I don't know what else to tell you."

Wild Dogs - Colter Wall: This is a song by Billy Don Burns who you can probably expect to see on this playlist next month, and who as I understand it is one of these 'real' country guys that have been around for a million years and only ever had success when other people sang their songs. So it's very nice of Colter Wall to continue that tradition for him. I love the way this song takes the metaphor to a place of almost uncomfortable literalism, a tryst metamophising into something private, bloody and feral. The subtle way the lap steel whines slowly along in the background before stepping out and taking centre stage once the song picks up steam near the end is a marvel too.

Tom's Diner - Suzanne Vega: I had a live version of this randomly recommended to me by youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkYPge6ZKSQ and it made me see this song that I'd always been sort of aware of in a new light and really properly appreciate it for the first time. Somehow I'd never noticed the last verse where it moves from literalism to memories, and of course that's sort of the moment that ties the whole song together. What I really appreciate about the acapella arrangement is that it feels like this is a song that's existed a million times before but she's the first person to actually write it down and record it. Everyone's made up a little dishwashing song or a little walking song, reciting some to-do list in your head. It's an entire genre that exists under people's breath for a few minutes and gets immediately forgotten.

If You Don't Know Now, You Never Will - Drugdealer: I could have sworn this was a Tobias Jesso Jr song. I really just assumed it was until I looked at the credits. It's such a nice song though and I'm glad this sort of 70s californian vibe is making a quiet comeback because it is just uniformly pleasant and it's nice to hear these sorts of arrangements, with the accenting violin runs and things like that. All the extra decorations and ornamentations that have sort of disappeared.

Crimson Tide - Destroyer: I absolutely love this new Destroyer album because it just feels like such pure uncut Destroyer. I’ve always thought of him as a sort of 400 year old vampire lounge singer who is just amusing himself at this point and so the cover art has really confirmed my suspicions on that front. The lyrics through this whole album are so good, the sort of stream of consciousness strangeness like ‘when lightning strikes twice the funeral goes completely insane’ that takes a on such gravity because he sings it with complete deadpan seriousness.

Truth (feat Alicia Keys and The Last Artful, Dodger) - Mark Ronson: I didn't really give this album a chance when it came out but ever since I found out Alicia Keys is good now (Time Machine) I've been looking for more good Alica Keys work and found one here. The Last Artful, Dodger is one of the worst artist names I think I've ever heard but she absolutely kills it on the way she says biiiiitch so I'll forgive it.

Surf & Turf - Boldy James + The Alchemist: Alchemist's production on this whole album is so incredible. He really just lets Boldy go and doesn't get in his way like good production should. Especially on the opening verse where Boldy James sticks with that loping flow for so long in 3s over 4 that matches that arpeggios in the beat, it's just a perfect harmony of rapper and producer.

Fat Mac - Duke Deuce: Misogyny in rap is a real issue that nobody seems really allowed to talk about because it's obviously very complicated, and this song some real classic 'stay in the kitchen' type woman hating in it and is basically incredibly callous and cruel throughout. However this beat is hot and there is also a part about a third of the way through where he says "fuck her till that pussy fart" and then makes a big fart noise, so.

Set It Up (feat. Trina) - Kamaiyah: I only found out about Kamaiyah's fantastic 2016 album A Good Night In The Ghetto about two weeks before her new one came out so I've been on a real Kamaiyah hype for a little while now. She's just fantastic. I love this song because I love the part where Trina seemingly out of the blue threatens to piss in my mouth. The first time I heard it I said 'wow!' out loud.

Come As You Are - Greg Phillinganes: There's something going on with the pop math in this song that I just can't put my finger on. It feels for all intents and purposes like this should be a hit. The melody is great. The big synth voice is great, it's got extremely fatty bass. It's great! But something about the structure of it is just off, it's got too many sections or something. Which kind of makes me love it more really.  

Devotion - Pure Bathing Culture: What surprised me the most about this song is the secret shredding happening throughout. It feels like a sort of clean and cool guitar that hasn’t existed in the wild since the Lethal Weapon soundtrack and it adds such an energy to this already completely wonderful song.

Paper Cup - Real Estate + Sylvan Esso: The production on this song is just so beautiful. The violin melody and the pillow soft synths really add such an extra dimension to it. The tone on everything really. The guitar in the solo. Every time I listen to this song I just want to listen to it again because it goes down so smooth.

Mark Zuckerberg - Nap Eyes: I’m a very big fan of the way this song transitions from a sort of TMBG novelty song halfway through into a lonely and beautiful thing instead. It’s like he got distracted and wandered off in the middle of his set but the camera followed him. I also haven’t heard a lyric in a long time that made me bark laugh so instantly as “And what does he do with all that sand? He collects sand right? I think I read that somewhere. Seems innocent enough.”

Viking Hair - Dry Cleaning: I fell in love with this band immediately on hearing this song. The way the spoken lyrics sit in a place of almost coherence, dipping between mysterious phrases and earnest admissions feels like Life Without Buildings for a new generation. I love the feeling of a huge crush at the centre of this song that comes through achingy in every single word, even when she's talking about abandoned refrigerators.

LeBron James - Do Nothing: This is my number one song this month I think. I've listened to it every single day and I cannot wait to see what this band does once they've got more than a couple of songs out. It's my absolute favourite kind of lyrics: the kind that sounds like you just wrote down every one-sided phone conversation you overheard on the bus and then the music is some halfway point between Black Midi and Franz Ferdinand. What else do you need!

Can I Receive The Contact? - The Spirit Of The Beehive: The Spirit Of The Beehive's album is one of the best I heard this month. The way the production incorporates sound collage and samples without diluting the immediacy of the songwriting is really something special that feels hard to pull off in a rock context but sounds effortless through this whole album. The way this shifts at the end into the odd time section is so great and really the way the whole album flows like one long track is just amazing. Please listen, I'm obsessed.

An Air Conditioned Man - Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever: There is so much space in Rolling Blackouts songs. They just go and go, sitting in this great jam space without feeling shaggy. The tempo across the album stays pretty consistently at this breezy, upbeat, driving speed that makes it feel like as soon as one song ends the next one just picks up exactly where it left off. It almost feels like a studio confines them and they'd be better off just recording their album live at a show where every song can go for 8 minutes like it wants to.

Leak -Truth, yesnoyesnoyes- - Boris: I got to see Boris and Merzbow this month, which was a great treat for me but it was also at a seated theatre venue which was a very strange choice. Sitting down and clapping politely as Merzbow pressed the screaming button feels odd, like being at an 1800s World's Fair show about the wonders of electricity or quite literally like being the guy in the chair getting blown away by the speakers in the Maxell ads. I bought earplugs for the show but ended up pulling them out for the last three songs or so to properly experience it, and it was fucking great. Something I was thinking about after the show is that it's interesting how Boris mostly have clean vocals, and really approach metal as an idea from and angle that's more shoegaze than Slayer. Aside from the immense volume, there isn't a lot about their music that I would describe as agressive, even most of what Merzbow added to the set was just extra feedback frequency noise, not atonal agression. I don't mean this in a trve kvlt way, more like it's interesting how they've taken the aesthetics of metal and refined them into pure amplifer worship, in their words, by either playing straight drone, or just playing normal hard rock at inhuman volumes. Boris are very good is what I'm saying, and I can't wait to listen to more of their extremely large discography.

Nameless Streets - Defeater: I've never really listened to much hardcore and I'm not really sure why. I've listened to Defeater's first two albums to death though so maybe it's time to branch out. What I love about this song, and this band in general is the vocal delivery. In a lot of agressive music from metal to screamo, because the agression and emotion is always sitting at a 10 the nuance can get lost and it becomes a sort of white noise, but Defeater have a nice way of backing off musically and vocally here and there to let the hard hits really hit hard. The outro to this song is also some absolutely world class snare work, building a tension bed in the simplest way thats relieved when the rest of the band comes crashing back in.

Boys In Town - Divinyls: I love the true desperation in this song. The trapped in a small town, surrounded by fuckers stress that gives way in the second half to just screaming "get me out of here!!". I am also interested in the evolution of the phrase 'too much, too young' and would like to know whether this song is referencing the song by The Specials, and if the Defeater song on this playlist is referencing this song or The Specials song, or if all three came up with it independently. It's a simply enough phrase, I suppose they could have. Who cares, really.

Body By Crystal - Spike Fuck: Come on a journey with me and imagine a world where Alex Cameron makes good music. That's Spike Fuck! The sort of burned out, past their prime singer desperate for a hit in any sense type of character - except actually put together with some heart and emotion and not an 80s comic book writer's understanding of human lows. I cannot wait to hear more from Spike Fuck.

Rogue Wave - Aesop Rock: It is something of a marvel how consistently high quality Aesop Rock's work is. For all his verbosity and expansive vocabulary he seems to never veer into white guy rap god flexing for the sake of it. Even a song like this that's 3 minutes of dense verses with nothing resembling a hook doesnt feel exhausting, it just feels like a series of extremely pleasing words and images like "take it where the warlocks lock horns, soda pop, popcorn / top notch gore set to Bach over fog horns" that makes my brain go "nice".

Momentary Bliss (feat. Slowthai and Slaves) - Gorillaz: I love the strange rollout Gorillaz are doing for this album, building the tracklist one song at a time. It's a nice way to force close listening, especially in songs with odd structures like this. I love hearing how different prouction changes Slowthai's approach; on this and Deal Wiv It that he did with Mura Masa it feels a lot brighter than anything on Nothing Great About Britain and there's a playfulness in his flow that comes through accordingly. Gorillaz are always moving around musically but I love how much of a live band feel this has compared to the more studioy sound that killed their last album for me.

We Will Always Love You (feat. Blood Orange) - The Avalanches: I am so excited at the possibility of a new Avalanches album already, and this is the perfect song to have as a lead single because it functions more like a teaser. Like 'would you like an hour more of this kind of beautiful, loving dream?'

Tar Sequence - Lalo Schifrin: I found out a little while ago that the local news theme when I was growing up was actually this song from the score to Cool Hand Luke, and according to a bunch of other guys in the youtube comments it was the local news theme for a lot of stations across America as well. The scene is of a prison road gang working under the blazing sun, and I'm sure someone could write a thinkpiece about the soundtrack to the nightly news, and really the platonic ideal of news themes in general stemming from the score to a scene about prison labour. But not me! I'm just going to write this little post and say we all owe Lalo Schifrin our lives for inventing the sonic pallette of kung fu AND the news, which is an incredible achievement whichever way you slice it.

When You - Tha Pope: It's a little bit of a shame that footwork is 'over' now but I suppose that's the way of things. The intro to this song is an absolute all timer for me. The delay soaked tag, the extended organ lick and then a total gear shift into this shrieking vocal sample that sounds like something has gone wrong but is revealed in actuality to be the centre of the whole track. I absolutely love Pope's little adlib at the start, and halfway through when he brings it back - it injects some real humanity into this cacophonous, volatile song and lets you know someone's done this on purpose, they've not just turned every dial to 10 and pressed play.  

Jonny/Jonny (Reprise) - Faye Webster: I am absolutely in love with the tone of Faye Webster's voice and especially the way she slowly slides up to the note at the end of every line in the verse. This is a song that belongs to the great genre of songs that sound like they were entirely written and performed while laying on the floor and staring at the ceiling. The reprise here comes back at the end of the album and I love it so much. It feels like a Sex And The City monologue set to music, an underexplored genre I'd definitely like to hear more of.

Holes - Matt Berninger: Matt Berninger of The National covered Mercury Rev's Holes for a series of charity 7"s that Planned Parenthood are doingand I really love his take on it. It's a difficult song to cover because it is so beloved, and I think he does really well to not smooth out the arrangement into any sort of easy listening version. The rumbling piano and the extra vocals that mirror the original saw sound near the end are just wonderful. The part that always breaks my heart in this song is the "bands" line at the end and he really does it perfectly without being overdramatic.

Ta Aro - Nadia Reid: I love the way this song is just soaked in tension and potential energy. She has a beautiful way of holding a note just past the edge of her breath, like when she sings 'glory hallelujah' or 'I am stronger' and in the wordless refrain that just draws me in. Then the way it all closes in on itself and shadows close in at the end while it swells to this beautiful thunderstorm of sound. Just great.

Purify - Neurosis: Someone had a tweet a while ago that was like 'listen to a new album every day in February and write about it' and I thought 'fuck it why not' and started doing that. I kept a little note in my phone of every album I listened to that I'd never heard before, and I ranked them out of 5 so I could remember which ones I liked. I ended up listening to 49 new albums which surprised me, and it was surprisingly easy to do as well so I've decided to keep doing it in March as well. Highly recommended. A nice side effect of constantly searching for new things to listen to is it's given me a chance to hear bands that I've always heard about and know the name of but never actually listened to for one reason or another, which is how I got to Neurosis. It's nice to hear this kind of industrial 90s metal that I'd only ever previously heard in Tool from another angle, and it is especially nice to hear bagpipes in a drone metal context - a thought I'd had independently about a week before hearing this album and was glad to have willed into existence before me.

Shallow Sun - Real Estate: Time! I love a song about aging that mentions specific years and ages so you can count along on your fingers. '25 in 2010... so he was 24 when they put out in their first album.. 39 in 24.. so he's... 35 now.. and i'm 28... which means I'm... 3 albums behind..'

Quand Vas Tu Retrer - Melody's Echo Chamber: I'll listen to any song in 5/4. It is simply groovy. This song is so beautifully textured it feels like you can just get completely lost in the sound while the groove moves it along.

Living Through Another Cuba - XTC: I think I've posted this song on one of these playlists before but fuck it, the more time passes the more I think this might be one of the best songs ever written and a complete and total encapsulation of the cold war mood. The absolute maniac resigned powerlessnes on full display, screaming and shouting about pullings fins from an atom bomb and the absolute certainty that even if the world isn't destroyed this time it'll all come around again soon enough anyway.

Time - U.S. Girls: I am a huge proponent of the long song at the end of the record as a concept, and really I believe every song should be the long song at the end of the record if at all possible. This amount of colour in this jam is just incedible, it never gets weighed down or waylaid it just keeps moving though an ever shifting kaleidoscope and I absolutely love it. It also reminds me of Los Bitchos who were on one of my secret lost playlists from December so it's nice to have their vibe represented here at least. This song also interestingly ties into a thought I was having this week about the limits of music wherein time is the only immutable constant. In all of life music is an inescapable constant of course, but in music especially compared to visual art or written art, time is an inexorable force. You simply cannot bend time in music, a song or performance will always have a duration that will define it, short or long, which cannot be muted or played with in the same way that rhythm or tonality can. 4'33" is a good example of that, being devoid of everything except time. When there is nothing, there is still time. Canyons of time.

Bad Magic - Weyes Blood: I got to see Weyes Blood a couple of weeks ago and I feel extremely blessed that I did. She's just amazing. She played this song solo as her last encore, and she's in a sort of interesting position of blowing up majorly on her fourth album so people (myself included) weren't overly familiar with her older stuff. So when she said 'this is a song called Bad Magic' everyone clapped politely and one woman right up the back screamed "oh my GOD??" which is the kind of personal, just for her, singular experience I'm always here for. Hearing this song for the first time in that setting has really made me fall in love with it. The thing that's always alienated me a little abot Weyes Blood's earlier work, and the thing she changed so dramatically on Titanic Rising is the structuring of her songs. Titanic Rising embraces pop songwriting so wonderfully where her earlier work was so much shaggier and harder to access as a result - but in this song I love it. This song is meandering and long and wanders around in circles and I'm here for every second of it.

Listen to this playlist here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3ZraEZOeS6qvVxfnz3AJS9

[nadiawrites14]

voice of gen z

word count: 2784

for english class. tw for school shooting and police brutality mention

AN INTRODUCTION.

“GEN Z is too afraid to ask a waiter for extra ketchup but will bodyslam a cop.”

Dated June 5th, on Twitter. Many of us sit holed up in our rooms, laptops resting in our crossed legs as we scroll through social media, or the blue light of a phone screen on our face as the world around us is sleeping. Many of us are also the ones organizing, the ones leading, the ones fighting. News spreads that in Dallas, Providence, and in many more cities, teenagers were the ones organizing, the ones fighting. Teenagers were the ones turning viral memes into protest signs, organizing protests and sharing methods of resistance through apps like TikTok and Instagram. It echoes the methods of the Hong Kong protestors, using technology to battle their government head-on. 

Teenagers who dance along to songs such as Megan Thee Stallion’s “Savage”, as well as teens who live in the world of ‘deep-fried’ memes, whose bizarre absurdity reach ungodly levels of abstractism, are the ones leading in this young revolution. Teenagers are the ones who chant ‘no justice, no peace’ in filled city streets; teenagers are the ones working to create graphics and share information, a new form of armchair activism. K-pop fans fill conservative hashtags with videos of their favorite performers, burying rhetoric and dismissal of the protests with dances and songs. In hours, #BlackLivesMatter trends. It’s hard to believe that these new pioneers and leaders in activism and technology are children who are scared to give class presentations, share Juuls in bathrooms, and find humor in the most strange and ironic of places. While the old term goes that ‘the revolution will not be televised’ in many ways, this growing movement will be televised, publicized, expanded, through its own means and methods.

I.

We are the generation of school shootings. 

December 14th, 2012. My mom tells me, as I hobble out from the red doors of my elementary school in Stamford, Connecticut, that something very bad has happened. I don’t understand. Nobody does. I see the faces of startled adults. I don’t remember the rest of that evening, or the day that followed it. Every time I think about Sandy Hook, the senseless school shooting that left 28 dead, I think about the multicolored walls of my school’s hallway, my sneakers on the white linoleum, the fear in my mother’s voice and in her eyes. That day was the first day I began to accept that I was a child in the United States of America in the 21st century. That day, and the brutal and confusing months that followed it, solidified something in my peers and I. Not just in Stamford, or even Connecticut, but within all young American students. The people in power didn’t care that a gunman marched into a wealthy and predominantly white Connecticut neighborhood and slaughtered kindergarteners. Because as I grew older, I saw the patterns, the televisation of suffering and permitted slaughter among my peers, our youngest, our posterity. This was normalized to us, just another school shooting, another period of brief outrage followed by inaction. The slaughter of children, the preventable slaughter of children shouldn’t be normalized. But it was.

February 14th, 2018. A gunman kills 17 students in Florida. As I’m waiting in a doctor’s waiting room with my mother, I lean over and tell her, “On Monday, all my teachers will talk about is school shootings.” I was wrong. School was another silent funeral march, my teachers quiet and solemn as they assigned us our work and progressed with their work. At dinner with my dad, I tell him, “It’ll never change.”

That isn’t entirely true. Leaders are found in teenagers who now walk through haunted hallways with clear backpacks. They are the face of a new movement, a march for our lives. Many are summoned to Washington and elsewhere a month later to organize, to fight. On March 27th, a day meant for students to walkout and protest the preventable slaughter of students, my school barricades the doors.

No legislation is passed. Nothing changes. The resistance lulls and fades, despite a number of school shootings following the tragedy at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Gen Z is a symbolic Sisyphus, haplessly pushing a boulder of pleas up a mountain of indifference.

II.

Suzanne Collins published the Hunger Games on September 14th, 2008. It finds its way into the hands of teenagers of all shapes and sizes years later, and it has its cult following. Maybe the televised murder of children strikes a chord within the audience of young adults, as does the story of a growing revolution and a coup against a selfish government.

Gen Z gets its hands on theory at a young age, through Wikipedia and the uncensored vastness of the internet that we are handed. We are denoted as the generation born with the phones in our hands, but all I can remember is having a technology class from a young age, where we were measured on our abilities to type and memorize a keyboard. Our ability to cite and surf and stay safe in the face of danger. This wealth of information at our fingertips molds us.

Dystopian fiction is popular among young teens and young adults. Titles like Divergent the Giver, Harry Potter, the Maze Runner, all influence the devouring young readers. We are raised to see atrocity, in a place where atrocity is accessible to us in every way, shape and form. We are exposed and we are no longer innocent as we rise to 6th, 7th, 8th grade. Girls wear makeup for the first time and scream at the sight of bloodstained underwear. Boys become privy to the joy of video games and self-exploration. In this time, the internet truly consumes. There is no more script taught in classrooms, whiteboards have been replaced with Prometheans, and chromebooks are becoming normalcy.  

In 7th grade I receive my phone. The niches and underground media I discover shape me. I find acceptance, friends, in places where I had lacked them before. As my classmates begin to enter into weeklong flings that end in Instagrammed tragedy, I take a quiz online to find out if I’m gay. I begin to think for myself, and I find independence and a voice on internet circles.

By the time we are promoted to high school, something has shifted. Something is different. Something’s coming, something good. Gen Z keeps calm and carries on.

III.

Donald Trump is inaugurated on January 20th, 2017, to much outrage, but also to much support. In my town, there is a protest around his building that overlooks much of our city center. It’s peaceful, energetic, and beautiful. A Planned Parenthood sticker is on my bedroom door, and I have accepted that maybe, just maybe, I’m into girls.

In 2018, we are in high school. Little fish in a big pond. I don’t have friends in my grade, but stick closer to my premade friends in the Class of 2021. My teachers are lovely, kind, and supportive, and I shine in this new environment. Politics is a force in my life as I begin to write, and as I begin to form opinions and do research. 

It’s easy to say that all of Gen Z is progressive, but this isn’t true. It’s actually very incorrect. The internet is a miraculous tool, one that can provide and produce and create new forms of communication and spread new ideas. But it is still an ocean that is widely uncharted, and young teenagers will fall into holes constructed by right-wing superstars. The racism and homophobia circulated by 4chan is on the internet for anybody to see. New popular figures and icons pledge their vote to Trump. Right-wing rhetoric overtakes in the forms of Ben Shapiro, Pewdiepie, 4chan, Reddit. There’s a neutrality to all things, but the dogwhistles and the normalization of prejudice are dangerously overbearing. As the 2016 election divided our country, it divides the new generation. A divided house cannot stand, and that is for certain. 

It is around this time, in my Freshman summer, where the politics makes a crescendo. I have broken 1K followers on my Instagram art account, where I draw fanart for a variety of musicals and plays. I discover Shakespeare, and lose myself in Hamlet. I am happy with my identity and with myself, and as the 2020 election nears, I stay informed on current events, common issues, the things that need changing.

Sophomore winter. My dad and I take two-hour drives spanning Connecticut, and we talk. He says, “You know, your generation’s fucked. You’re the ones who are going to have to cope with our mistakes.” I tell him I know. I tell him about my feelings towards racial injustice in America, the battle for a higher minimum wage against growing costs, issues in healthcare, housing, poverty, climate change, all thrown aside and discarded. Our generation, of course, when most of our white and male politicians are dead and buried, will have to deal with the repercussions of rising sea levels and global temperatures, volatile weather and crippling natural disasters, all overlooked due to blatant ignorance. “You guys are going to have to fix all of this.”

“I know.”

I’m sick of the battle being placed on the backs of teenagers. I’m sick of our faces being the fight for climate change, the faces of Greta Thunberg and Emma Gonzalez and young revolutionary congresswomen being mocked and heckled by throngs of keyboard warriors. I’m sick of the battle our leaders and representatives should be fighting being placed on our backs, when we are already our own Atlas. Ignorance is dangerous, biting, and overwhelming. We look back to the images and words we were raised upon, the story of the Hunger Games and the broadcasting of school shootings for us all to see. 

It is 2020. Happy new year! I watch from my living room as the ball drops. A brief Twitter moment about a newly discovered disease pops up in my recommended, I brush over it. Photographs of Australian fires are surfaced, and we joke about what a fantastic start it is to the year. 

Sisyphus reaches a fork in the road.

MMXX.

At around 11PM on Wednesday, March 11th, I send a strongly worded letter to the principal and local superintendent. The coronavirus has picked up worldwide, and has made its way into the states. Johns Hopkins has an interactive map that shows bubbles above cities where cases have been reported. Stamford, Connecticut Dead: 0

Recovered: 0 Active: 3.

New York’s cases are on the rise. On that same day, I began to realize the severity that would soon overtake us. I spent the afternoon first at what would be our last rehearsal for our school musical, James and the Giant Peach, and then I went to the library. I did my homework, read The Cripple of Inishmaan by Martin McDonagh, then bought a Subway cookie from the mall. I always keep a copy of King Lear in my backpack, and as my dad pulls up to the sidewalk I gloss over Edmund’s first monologue.

It’s the last normal day for a while.

March 12th comes in like a lion. In my first period class, civics, a classmate yells out, “Trump 2020!” A period later, my friend pulls me aside in the hallways, and asks if I heard that school was closing. 

“It can’t be true,” I said.

“Schadlich just showed us.”

I take my route to my next class, and find the hallway a chaotic mess of energy and camaraderie. What was meant to be kept under wraps has been instantly transferred across the student body over Snapchat stories and texts. People dance, sing, hug. It’s branded as a “Coronacation.” Broadway announces its closure, and I walk out of the front doors for the final time in my sophomore year.

Once again, ignorance overtakes. Within months, the death toll skyrockets, spikes, as we stay holed up in our online classes. My focus wavers, but I press on. Many other students resort to simply neglecting their work, choosing to take this time to focus on their own health or fill up their new time with their own hobbies. Teenagers find solace in each other, through social media and through the connections we’ve built online. As ignorance mounts among our leaders, teenagers jokingly refer to Covid-19 as the famous “Boomer Remover”. It trends on Twitter. Graduation, prom, is cancelled. The generation whose childhood began with 9/11 is once again cut short by a tragedy of preventable errors. Gen Z is subject to adapting once again to an unfamiliar environment, and we undertake.

Protests take over the streets, screaming against government tyranny. The deaths crescendo to nearly 100,000. A video surfaces of a young black man, Ahmaud Aubery, being publicly killed on a road while jogging. Ignorance continues as cases spike, and the political climate is ripe for change. On May 25th, a black man from Minneapolis named George Floyd is killed in a brutal act of suffocation by a policeman. More names resurface -- Breonna Taylor, Tony McDade, Joao Pedro. Names neglected to injustice are once again in the limelight -- Trayvon Martin, Tamir Rice, Philando Castile, Eric Garner, Mike Brown, Terence Crutcher, Atatiana Jefferson, and more. 

Sisyphus has had enough of pushing the boulder, and Sisyphus takes to the streets. It is the perfect storm. A storm fueled by ignorance and the preventable death of thousands, by decades of injustice, by the mere political climate in the United States of America. Gen Z, our generation, my generation, has lived the darkest hour. We were born at the cusp of a millenia, in an awkward position where society has begun to find its footing in an unfamiliar time. A time of domestic and overseas terrorism, shaped by 9/11 and a countless number of school shootings and slaughtered people of color. Where the new generation has accessibility to the injustice and wrongs committed by those before and those above, right at our fingertips. We have new ways to organize, new ways to televise, new ways to fight. In our armchairs and in our streets, wearing masks as we hold up our hands in surrender.

Generation Z marches. They lead. They throw tear gas back at officers with no hesitation. They create chants, organize through grassroots, and find a chorus of support online. 

Generation Z leads. As politicians and leaders sit in ivory towers, like President Snow in Panem, our generation cries for change. We witness and feel the repercussions of their ignorance in our daily lives, from cuts to education to the publication of school shootings to the absence of American atrocity in our history textbooks to a pipeline that directs BIPOC and low-income students to prison or the military as they step off the graduation stage. Each year, our winters get warmer as our summers turn boiling. The preventable pile of corpses rises in front of us, and we have been taught to sit by and let it occur while the world burns. 

No longer.

Sisyphus steps aside and allows the boulder to descend down the mountain. They are bruised, bloodied, their palms calloused and scuffed and their feet lacerated and sore. Up ahead, shrouded by clouds, is the mountaintop. Sisyphus wipes their mouth, finds their footing, and begins the march.

A CONCLUSION.

We have a future.

It’s awfully dim right now. Barely a light at the end of the tunnel. We began a dead march towards it from the moment we were born into this decaying way of life, held together with glue and string by leaders with fumbling hands and staunch indifference. Our backs are tired, and we are barely adults. Generation Z is tired of fighting a fight that shouldn’t be theirs. How desperately we still crave childhood joy and humor and innocence. 

Change is necessary. It is something that is especially necessary in our time. We can no longer let people die because they can’t afford food or medicine or housing. Students cannot go into school wondering if it will be their last day. Black people should not fear for their lives while wearing a hoodie, driving, jogging in their neighborhood, shopping, or sleeping in their own homes. Elderly white men which encompass most of our political elite can no longer sit on their hands as their population suffers.

The voice of Generation Z screams louder than anything else. It screams in its silence, its activism, its useless martyrdom and battle. Change belies itself within our voice, and it has gone unheard for too long.

Change is the voice of Generation Z.

[loudlytransparenttrash]

Goodbye 2019: A review of the lies that shaped the year

January

One Twitter user posted this thread, describing how there were “50-70 white men” wearing MAGA apparel who “surrounded us” and “sought to intimidate, mock and scare us” by “chanting ‘build the wall’ and “other trumpisms.” “The group was clearly looking for ANY opportunity to get violent,” they were “bumping into us and daring us to get physical.” Video was then clipped and shared on social media, the mainstream media spread the edited footage and within hours the story about “racist white MAGA hat wearing teens cornered an innocent Native elder while chanting build the wall” consumed the country.

Slate wrote an article comparing the student’s “cruelty” to Jim Crow mobs and neo-Nazis. BuzzFeed’s Anne Petersen tweeted how the students and Brett Kavanaugh are the epitome of “white patriarchy.” Kathy Griffin called for doxing the kids and Stormy Daniels in a now-deleted tweet fantasized about putting these children behind electrocuted walls. New York Times author Kurt Eichenwald wished that these kids should be doxed and denied work for the rest of their lives. Headlines included, “White students in MAGA hats taunt Native American elders,” “Covington Catholic High Student's White Privilege Didn't Win,” “White America, come get your children,” “White victimology, white privilege and the Covington Catholic rules of race,” “Boys Will Be Boys. Covington's Showed Yet Again Why Only White Boys Can Smirk Through That.”

The students and their families were doxed, harassed and threatened for weeks after. Covington Catholic High School was forced to close over security concerns. Then the original video was released that provided context: A group of Covington Catholic High School students went to the March for Life during a field trip to Washington, DC. While there, the students were confronted by the radical black supremacy group, Black Hebrew Israelites, where they were verbally harassed and racially abused, calling them crackers, fa*gots and told them to go find a school to shoot up. A black student was berated as a race-traitor and told his white classmates were going to harvest his organs. A Native activist later approached the kids and started continually banging a drum inches from their face. One student, Nick Sandmann, stood calmly in typical teenage bemusement. That’s it. That’s the story. Once it was realized not a single accusation made by the original poster or the media who spread it was true, everyone went silent, and despite many retractions, no apologies.

February

Empire actor Jussie Smollett was approached by two white men wearing Trump’s Make America Great Again caps and yelled racist and homophobic slurs at him before attacking him, dousing him with bleach and tying a noose around his neck, all while chanting, “This MAGA country!” Kamala Harris, Cory Booker and Al Sharpton were among those calling it a modern-day lynching and evidence of the fear and hate black people live with. Harris and Booker even wrote an “anti-lynching bill.” Everybody gobbled this story up and quickly used it to push their idea that it said something more important about the state of race in the United States. Essentially they argued that Trump and his supporters are agitating for this kind of violence and, well, here it is.

Afterwards, Smollett proudly bragged how he had fought off his attackers to the loud cheers of a crowd, a true badass. He then appeared in an ABC interview where his eyes welled with tears as he recounted his traumatic experience and how defiant and inspirational he’s gotta be now. When asked why he thinks he was targeted, Smollett blamed Trump and his evil supporters.

But then some red flags started. 1. He held onto his sandwich during the attack and waited 45 minutes to call police. 2. When police arrived to take a report, Smollett asked that the officers turn off their body cameras. 3. He was still wearing the noose around his neck and wore it “like a tie” throughout their entire 40-minute interview. 4. He said he was on the phone with his manager when the attack happened but he refused to show his phone log to police. 5. He supposedly received a threatening letter a week prior to the “attack” which had child-like writing and drawings on it of his name and the word MAGA, and cliche magazine cutouts of letters pieced together to spell out “black fag.” In summary, we were supposed to believe white Trump supporters wearing MAGA hats were roaming around Chicago, carrying a noose, they saw Smollett, knew who he was, knew his show, his sexuality and singled him out for a lynching. 

As the police connected the dots, they found the whole thing was a giant hoax plotted by Smollett himself. When the “black fag” serial killer letter stunt failed to receive national attention, Smollett orchestrated the attack by paying two Nigerian brothers he worked with $3,500 to stage the attack on him while getting Subway. Chicago police spent days and worked overtime poring over security footage and devoting resources that could have been put toward real victims. On February 20, Smollett was charged with a class 4 felony for filing a false police report and was later indicted on 16 felony counts of false reporting. Smollett joined a long list of hate crime hoaxes since Trump took office. I can only assume because reality isn’t at all matching their delusion of the gloomy Nazi “MAGA country” they keep going on about, they’re forced to create these endless hate crime hoaxes to validate the delusion.  

March

After spending two years perpetuating allegations that Trump colluded with Russia to steal the 2016 election from Hillary and wet dreams of Trump being removed from office and even imprisoned, the entire left, every Democrat and the mainstream media were visibly shaken by Mueller’s investigation ending with zilch. When the news broke that there would be no indictments against Trump nor anyone associated with his campaign, and Attorney General William Barr had exonerated him, those who were so certain of victory and so locked into their conspiracy, were once again forced into utter meltdown mode. Mueller spent tens of millions of dollars, employed 19 prosecutors, more than three dozen FBI agents and an analyst and issued 2,800 subpoenas, 500 search warrants, 280 demands for phone and email records and interviewed 500 witnesses throughout the course of the investigation. No evidence was found.

There was however a major abuse of the rule of law by Obama administration officials and Department of Justice and FBI employees, a shameful politicization of the Russia investigation by Democrats and an end of journalistic integrity by many members of the media who all did their best to delegitimize and undermine the election. The DOJ and FBI used unverified research to obtain a court order to surveil the Trump campaign, and thereby obtain access to past campaign communications. In applying for the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) order, the DOJ and FBI did not disclose to the secret surveillance court that the debunked Christopher Steele dossier (Trump/pissing prostitutes) was funded by the DNC and Clinton, the whole basis for the probe. The FISA application also did not inform the court of Steele’s bias and his desperation to keep Trump out of the White House. It was all a setup.

Since Election Day 2016, the Trump-hating political and media establishment have been in a cute relationship to achieve their desired end of destroying Trump. Their shared hatred of the man is indisputable. But the idea of them colluding in this information operation to maximum political and legal effect is altogether more disturbing. Russiagate put Trump’s presidency under a cloud of suspicion for more than half of his days in office, delaying his agenda through forcing the administration to expend valuable time and resources defending itself from the constant hounding. The Five F’s seems to be the Democrat’s only tactic, all they can do is deceive, degrade, deny, disrupt and hope that it all will eventually wear Trump down enough to ultimately destroy him.

April

On Easter Day, churches across Sri Lanka were targeted by radical Islamist suicide bombers. The Muslim terrorists walked into several crowded churches and murdered masses of people. They also targeted international hotels popular with Western travelers. The bombings marked the country’s deadliest violence in a decade, leaving 290 dead and over 500 injured. After the quick condemnation of white supremacy and Islamophobia after the Christchurch shootings a few weeks prior, the media and Democrats avoided at all costs condemning Islamic terrorism and recognizing the victims as Christians. A host of politicians such as Obama, Hillary Clinton and Julian Castro all refused to condemn Islamic terrorism and none called the victims Christians, while others such as Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Portland mayor Ted Wheeler stayed silent altogether. Christians being killed at the hands of Islamists goes against the entire left-wing doctrine, despite it happening all over the world. 

It’s not the only time we’ve seen the media and politicians cover for Islamic extremism. Under Obama, officials were so afraid of the phrase “Islamic terrorism” that they redacted the very mention of Islam and even Islamic State from the Orlando gay nightclub massacre transcripts, despite 49 people being killed and 50 others injured by a Muslim terrorist who had pledged allegiance to ISIS. In the UK, police and child protection workers were so afraid of the phrase “Islamophobia” that they ignored and refused to investigate Muslim human trafficking and child rape rings, allowing 1,400 young British girls to be raped with knives, bottles and their tongues nailed to tables. In Sweden, the police and media were so scared of “anti-immigration sentiment,” they covered up dozens of sexual assaults against teenage girls. Not wanting to make their new waves of Muslim refugees look bad, German media and the government also covered up mass sexual abuse across the country where 1,200 women were sexually assaulted and raped in just one night. Who exactly are we protecting by refusing to tell the truth and call something what it is?

May

Alyssa Milano, an actress who has been a valiant fighter for progressive causes, demanded for American women to undertake a “sex strike.” The idea is that women should not risk pregnancy until they have an insurance policy. Uh, so like exactly what Christian conservatives already believe in. There’s something funny about Milano embracing the banner of Christian conservatives in order to own Christian conservatives. Just like when Janelle Monáe advocated for women to go on a sex strike, saying that “people need to start respecting the vagina.” Once again, that’s what conservatives have already been screaming, respecting your vagina, respecting yourself, respecting sex and the good and bad product of sex. 

In championing this “revolutionary” concept of women withholding sex in order to attain bodily autonomy, Milano and her blue-check buddies unwittingly preached the same message you often hear during Sunday sermons, especially in youth groups. The Christian perspective posits that the way for women to attain bodily autonomy is to have self-control over your body and choices, to not give away your body so carelessly and to be aware of the consequences of sexual activity outside of committed relationships. Most Christians embrace Milano’s message, not just because the only women who’d participate and use sex as a political bargaining chip in the first place are those who probably need to reevaluate their sex lives anyway, but it also places greater meaning on sex and the power and responsibility of it, which again is another Christian view.

Milano, like many others, also referred to abortion as “reproductive rights,” which is a pretty new term that replaces abortion and is also much catchier on picket signs when used alongside “human rights.” The problem is the term isn’t even close to being accurate. Abortion has nothing to do with reproductive rights. By the time abortion is even a possibility, post-fertilization has already created a tiny human and the mother has discovered that she is pregnant. In other words, reproduction is already complete. That “right” to reproduction was already exercised when you gave it up, literally and figuratively.  

June

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez tried her best to compare Trump to Hitler by comparing illegal migrant detention centers to actual concentration camps: “This administration has established concentration camps on the southern border of the United States for immigrants, where they are being brutalized with dehumanizing conditions and dying,” she tweeted. Ocasio-Cortez continued this claim during an Instagram Live video, where she said, “The United States is running concentration camps on our southern border. That is what they are. The fact that concentration camps are now an institutionalized practice in the home of the free is extraordinarily disturbing.” 

Of course, the claim that conditions at U.S. border facilities are anything like Nazi concentration camps or Japanese American internment camps is absurd. Detainees are not subjected to forced labor, malnutrition or executions. They also chose to enter these facilities by willingly coming to the United States and either illegally crossing or turning themselves in to U.S. Border Patrol, while obviously concentration camp inmates were forced to be there. Let’s not forget the little detail that any of the migrants may opt for voluntary departure at any time. I don’t remember concentration camps ever having that policy. Concentration camps detained and persecuted their own citizens because of who they were, not temporarily detained people who chose to illegally break into a different country. I don’t think there were many Jewish people trying to sneak into Nazi Germany. Even the U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum released a statement rejecting such ridiculous comparisons.

But it’s not just AOC driving this rhetoric. MSNBC anchor Joe Scarborough showed photos of border officers escorting kids to showers and compared it to Nazi officers marching Jews into gas chambers. Former CIA chief Michael Hayden posted photos of the Auschwitz death camp, also comparing it to the temporary housing policy at the border. The New York Times published an article that called for U.S. Border Patrol agents to be doxed so they can be “publicly shamed" and “held accountable.” Almost the entire Democrat Party and mainstream media have made similar comparisons. Yet the CBP detention centers are not operating any differently today than they were during the Obama administration. The famous photos of caged kids are from Obama’s time in office. Even when the most anti-Trump news network CNN went to investigate, the kids had full bellies, they were watching soccer, playing video games on big flat-screen TVs, sleeping in comfy beds and participating in tai chi classes, rather than ya know, being caged, gassed and worked to death.

July

The British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal held a hearing on complaints from Jessica Yaniv, a man formerly called Jonathan who now identifies as a woman, after multiple small business beauticians refused to wax Yaniv’s penis and testicles. The defendant in the case was a young mother who operates in her family home, but there were also 12 other female beauticians Yaniv filed human rights complaints against which put some of them out of business while others paid settlements to save further legal action. Up until July 17, Yaniv’s name was fiercely protected by the Canadian government, as well as technology platforms like Twitter, which banned numerous women and some men who’d tried to warn others about his predations. But once the ban was lifted, it was revealed Yaniv had used “connections” to a band to help solicit advice from both women and teenagers on how to approach young girls and talk to them about tampons and menstruation in female washrooms. You can read the whole thing here.

Yaniv also recently tweeted shock to be turned away from a gynecologist. “So a gynaecologist office that I got referred to literally told me today that ‘we don’t serve transgender patients. And me, being me, I’m shocked... and confused… and hurt. Are they allowed to do that, legally?" I’m sure Yaniv will be taking gynecologists to human rights courts next for refusing to inspect anuses. We have to be careful to not misgender Yaniv as several journalists have been banned from Twitter for this crime against Yaniv. Any concerns about women being forced to touch male genitalia or biological men being allowed into women’s bathrooms, locker rooms, rape crisis shelters and prisons, you’re done for. This whole story resembles a new trend forming, such as the Christian cake shop owner who was sued for not wanting to bake a cake for a same-sex marriage: An individual from a politically designated victim class seeks out a service, intentionally from a small business owner who they know they can exploit, and the moment the businessperson declines - voila! A movement is born with a slew of lawsuits, powerful interest groups and media backing. 

August

Dave Chappelle’s newest Netflix special was only uploaded for a few hours before the PC grievance mob went to work trying to sink it. Buzzfeed lectured Chappelle for his “truly vile” jokes and instructed him “to be more thoughtful.”  Salon spoke out against “the cruelty” and Slate compared him to that "uncle who doesn’t know, or doesn’t care, how much he’s disappointing you.” While “Uncle Dave” was once cool, they say, his jokes in 2019 make you “wince.” Vice went a step further and gave a total trigger warning to its audience, writing "you can definitely skip” it altogether. As of today, “Sticks & Stones” shows a 38 percent score from media critics on Rotten Tomatoes, while 39,881 of viewers have given it a 99 percent audience score, reflecting the massive disconnect between the media and the general public and proving the only ones who are “out of touch” are themselves. This same pattern can be seen with “woke” movies too. Media critics sing their praises and hail their progressive activist messaging and pandering, yet in reality, these movies completely bomb.

Hollywood wants to water down comedy as not to hurt anyone’s feelings, but in doing so quickly turns into telling people what’s funny and what’s not and who can laugh and who can’t. Even the most devoted left-wing activist surely can see the problem. But a comedian like Dave Chappelle makes fun of everyone and doesn’t believe in a protected class during a stand up routine, as it should be. He also made fun of things that the right cares about, yet they still applauded the special as a celebration of comedy. But no, because Chappelle didn’t obey by their rules, because he didn’t stand on stage and call Trump a Cheeto (the pinnacle of left-wing comedy), he too must be one of those Nazis we keep hearing about. Chappelle isn’t running for public office. He’s a comic, and we’re not meant to seek the ultimate answers from him. It’s his job to talk about and then joke about current events, trends, what’s going on in the world, his only sin was talking about them a little too honestly. 

September

Teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg addressed the United Nations through teary eyes and gritted teeth, claiming that the world is about to end and how unfair it is that she has to save it. Throughout the melodramatic speech warning of “mass extinction” and attacking capitalism, Thunberg repeatedly declared “how dare you!” and “You have stolen my dreams and my childhood!” Sadly, she’s right. How dare a child from one of the most healthiest, progressive, wealthiest, safest and most peaceful countries known to man be indoctrinated to believe adults have failed her and the weight of the world is on her shoulders to save mankind from apocalypse. It’s not her fault.

It’s the fault of the schools who pile on the panic-stricken talk of environmental disaster starting from kindergarten. It’s the fault of the ideologues who obsess over every weather event as if it were Armageddon, whether it’s hot or cold, rain, sun or snow, it’s all evidence of the end looming. And it’s the fault of the politicians, too cowardly and desperate for votes to tell people that utopian visions of a world run on windmills is a pipe dream. And why the hell isn’t China being lectured by the Swedish teenager? Their emissions from aviation and maritime trade alone are twice that of the United States, and more than the entire emissions of most nations in the world, but we’re the ones being told to ban straws, stop eating meat, roller skate to work and stop having kids? Really? Then again, it’s easier to go after countries which roll out the red carpet, gives her a platform and awards her with prizes in return for her criticisms. The real pollution culprits aren’t nearly as accommodating.

Climate activists could learn something from Thunberg’s honesty, though. She argues that “money and fairy tales of eternal economic growth” have to come to an end. Thunberg’s dream for the future means technocratic regimes will have to displace capitalistic societies. We can see this future in the radical environmentalist plans of AOC’s Green New Deal, one supported by leading Democratic Party candidates. It’s authoritarianism. There is no other way to describe a regulatory regime that dictates exactly what Americans can consume, sell, drive, eat and do in their personal lives. As Hawaii Democrat senator and climate change enthusiast encouraged fellow activists to think of climate change as a religion rather than a science, we can only hope that most Americans will continue to reject these regressive ideas. One reason we should is so that Greta Thunberg’s generation, including her army of schoolchildren, can continue not having to suffer needlessly.

October 

Media outlets responded to Trump’s announcement of the U.S. military’s successful mission against ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was not met with much praise and excitement that the world’s most wanted terrorist leader had been stopped, but with anger and snark. Many media outlets, the Washington Post for one example, worked hard to spin the killing of Baghdadi into, somehow, a negative story for Trump, beginning with a look at Baghdadi as not as a brutal terrorist and murderer, but as an “austere religious scholar.” 

The Washington Post followed it up with a chain of negative stories: “Three ways the Baghdadi raid undermines Trump’s chaotic policy,” “Despite the killing of Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, some analysts question U.S. ability to prevent ISIS resurgence,” “The U.S. kills an ISIS leader. But Trump is giving the group a new lease on life.” They even complained how long Trump talked for and how using words such as “dog” and “coward” weren’t as presidential as Obama. Oh, and a Washington Post and CNN journalist tweeted how wrong it was for Trump to call al-Baghdadi a coward because it takes guts to blow yourself up rather than allow yourself to be captured...

If only it ended there. The Washington Post joined other media outlets including the New York Times in debunking the “doctored” and “faked” photo Trump tweeted of himself giving a Medal of Honor to the dog that chased down al-Baghdadi. White House reporter Steve Herman also debunked the meme by breaking news on Twitter, "I've requested details on this photo! There was no such a canine event on today's schedule!" He later confirmed in a tweet after speaking to a White House official that the meme was indeed Photoshopped. Jim Acosta of CNN also made sure everyone was aware, "The dog is not at the White House." The Huffington Post wrote, “A photo tweeted by Donald Trump is getting dogged by accusations that the pic is the very definition of fake news. The photo didn’t really happen,” then proceeded to show side-by-side photos to prove it was photoshopped. Everywhere the meme was called “fake news.”

Once the media confirmed that the very clearly photoshopped dog was not at the White House after all, and the meme was just a meme, they moved onto asserting the meme was insulting and disrespectful to the original recipient of the Medal of Honor, James McCloughan, which the photo was taken from. Yet when the meme was shown to McCloughan, he laughed and said he wasn’t offended and he liked it. Now that another outrage had fizzled out, the only thing that was left for them to complain about was... Trump hates dogs because he used the term negatively to describe the ISIS leader. Yep. 

November

Nine American Mexican family members were slaughtered in broad daylight in an ambush by a drug cartel in Northern Mexico, less than a hundred miles from the Arizona border. The family were traveling to visit family when they were attacked by the cartel which left three women and six children dead, including a pair of infant twins. As Trump voiced outrage over the attacks, condemning the violence and offering the Mexican government help to come down harder on the cartels, not a single one of the seventeen Democrats in the race issued a statement on the attacks. 

That’s probably because they’ve already established it’s racist and bigoted to point out that some Mexicans can do bad things and there’s gonna be some bad eggs illegally crossing the southern border, despite leading Democrats including Clinton and Obama holding the same view just a few years ago. Let’s forget those behind most illegal border crossings are actually rapists or in just one city, over just a few weeks, seven illegal immigrants were convicted of rape. For the record, Trump never called all Mexicans rapists. He said there are rapists among those being sent over, along with drugs and MS-13 members, all true. He also said in the very next breath that there’s also good people crossing. Now, it’s also racist to call MS-13 gang members “animals” despite them being known for beheadings, dismemberments and cutting out hearts. And now we know we’re not even allowed to talk about the epidemic of terrorism and violence along the border, even when nine American women and children are massacred as it runs counter to the new, insane Democrat narrative mocking the need for stronger border security or the need for borders at all. 

This is the latest incident that has shined a spotlight on Mexico’s growing crime problem as drug cartels have launched an insurgency in the failing country.  A month earlier, hundreds of gunmen stormed the city of Culiacan after Mexican National Guards arrested one of the sons drug kingpin “El Chapo.” In a stunning display, the Mexican president told his National Guards to surrender to the cartel and release El Chapo’s son. The day after the family massacre, more murders and bus burnings were unleashed on the city of Juarez. The mayor of Juarez said the chaos was the cartel’s response to police arresting suspects involved in an ongoing drug turf war. We’ll have to wait and see if the new Mexican president’s policy of “hugs not bullets” will end the endless territory being controlled by different armed groups, similar to the Middle East and Africa. Maybe love and giving into cartel demands will bring law and order back.

December

Democrats finally did what they’ve been promising to do since Trump won the election, they impeached their mortal enemy. The obsession with impeachment has little to do with anything Trump did, and everything to do with who he is. Democrats never expected to lose the 2016 election, especially not to Donald Trump, which humiliated them even more. And ever since, they have been trying every trick in the book to prove what a horrible mistake voters have made. Democrats have floated the idea of impeachment over fake Russian collusion conspiracy theories, drivel about porn stars and even the president’s criticism of his critics. All of them bombed. With time running out before the 2020 presidential race gets into full swing, they seized on the only thing they had left: bogus “concerns” with a phone call to the newly elected Ukrainian president.

The evidence Democrats have rallied on makes for the weakest impeachment ever launched in American history, highlighting gross abuse of congressional power and serving as a national embarrassment. The impeachment inquiry was kicked off by an unknown person during a phone call between Trump and Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky. An unredacted transcript of the phone call was quickly released to the public, putting the conversation between the two leaders in plain sight for all to see in an unprecedented move. There was nothing to hide. Democrats and media outlets took slices from the transcript and came up with a story about Trump pressuring Ukraine to investigate Joe Biden’s family in exchange for nearly $400 million in military aid. Yet when Trump mentioned “do us a favor,” in the very next sentence, he referred to Ukraine looking into the 2016 election meddling after Mueller did such a poor job, it had nothing to do with Biden. Zelensky himself said there was no pressure and he didn’t even know about the military aid being delayed. 

But House Democrats still held four weeks of impeachment hearings and not a single piece of incriminating evidence to impeach the president of any kind of crime was found, whether it be a “quid pro quo,” “bribery,” or “extortion. In fact, to the contrary, witnesses called by Democrats actually exonerated the president of any wrongdoing. Ousted former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovich blatantly admitted that Trump committed no crime. “Do you have any information regarding any criminal activity that the president of the United States has been involved with at all?” “No,” Yovanovitch said. Former State Department Special Envoy to Ukraine Kurt Volker was asked, “In no way, shape or form did you receive any indication whatsoever, or anything that resembled a quid pro quo, is that correct?” “That’s correct,” Volker said.

Despite clearly having no case against the president, Democrats still voted to deliver their promise, it was now or never. Unlike other impeachment cases, it wasn’t at all bipartisan, the House’s impeachment inquiry passed without a single Republican vote. In fact two Democrats joined GOP lawmakers in voting against the resolution, ironically making opposition to impeachment the more bipartisan vote. One Democrat even switched parties after he was pressured by his Democrat colleagues to vote against his will. Now, Pelosi is refusing to send the articles of impeachment to the Senate for trial. She knows Trump will be swiftly exonerated and claim another monumental victory, so let’s savor in the impeachment juices that nobody cares about for as long as we can. At least until the next “existential threat” or “constitutional crisis” they can whip up. 

[purplesurveys]

772

What was the last thing you threw at someone? A piece of meat for my dog to run for. Well, walk and sniff around for. He’s an old guy and doesn’t run anymore unless we’re taking him out for a walk. Do you follow recipes? I always certainly have to, since I don’t have any one dish memorized. I’ll start off with a collection of recipes for sure, but I’m hopeful that I’ll be at least a decent cook over the next few years. Where's the last place you had an itch? The area behind my knee.

Do you look people in the eye when you talk to them? It’s always important to have eye contact to show you’re paying attention so yeah. But I know it can get uncomfortable for most people at some point – and me – so I’ll give my eyes a break and look at their forehead, their nose, the space between their eyes, etc. When you look into someone's eyes, can you see their pain? Uh no, I don’t look that intensely lmao. And even then, I’ve learned over the years that most people are very good in hiding or playing off their true emotions that even if I try to find something off, I’ll likely turn up with nothing.

When was the last time you sneezed? Midnight today. How do you act under pressure? It will depend on how much there is to do and how much time there is left. I don’t have one permanent behavior for every time I feel pressured, which is pretty often. Who did you last say "I love you" to? My dog. Do you ever call people just to hear the sound of their voice? Yes, back when everything was normal I’d sometimes call my girlfriend just to drop by and say hi, and also because our schools are a little far apart and I’ll miss her in the middle of the day. School usually stresses her out so I do that as a pick-me-up for her. When was the last time you used a glue stick? January maybe? Our profs always ask us to submit index cards with our contact details and a 1x1 photo at the start of the semester, so there’s a good chance I asked to borrow glue from someone to paste my photo onto the card. What was the last startling noise you heard? Some dipshit on my Twitter feed decided it was good fun to share a jumpscare disguised as an innocent, cute video at 3 AM. I was mad about it then and I’m still mad as hell about it now lol. Do you ever look back at your yearbooks? I did this a lot as a kid. Idk why, I found it interesting to get to know the people in my school and read their write-ups I guess. I stopped looking back on them precisely because I did it too much when I was younger. Do you ever want to be prom queen/king? No. I did not give a shit about prom at all. I really would’ve happily skipped out on it but my school is a complete killjoy and made both attendance and bringing a date mandatory for everyone. No stags, can you believe it? It’s like when Captain Holt from Brooklyn Nine Nine said “Have a good time, I specifically requested it” lol Are you tired? Tired of this quarantine, yes. But I took a nap not too long ago so I’m not feeling to sleepy in that sense. Have you ever ran from the police? I haven’t done anything for them to have to do run after me, so no. Are you afraid of clowns? Not really. I was never exposed to them much so I always just saw them as people in heavy makeup that do balloon animals and other funny tricks. Have you ever written on someone's face in your yearbook? HAHA yes. When my sister and I were kids we bickered a lot, and in one of our fights I thought it’d be funny to doodle on her kinder portrait. She didn’t think so and she started wailing - just in time, I heard my mom coming home and I had to think fast so my sister a) stopped crying and b) wouldn’t tell on me. So I did the stupidest thing and also doodled on my own prep portrait to make her feel better. She calmed down and my mom never found out. When was the last time you made dinner? I *helped* my dad make dinner a few months ago. I haven’t completed a meal myself. Do you have any special plans coming up? They’re gonna be mellowing down the lockdown rules in my province by the 15th and I’m really hoping to see Gabie soon. Realistically I doubt it would happen as I don’t think both our parents would agree to it, but it’s still nice to keep hoping. Did you just lose the game? Yep, but I really only found out about this game from Reddit a few months ago and I didn’t grow up having to play it, so I’m never all too pissed off or like emotionally invested in general whenever I lose it haha. What is a class at school you are interested in taking? There are global studies electives that I was unaware of until someone told me to take them after I enrolled for my last sem in collefge. There are courses on Turkish culture, global gastronomy, and they also had past courses on ‘Diversity on Perspectives on Peace and Conflict,’ ‘Cultures of Disasters,’ and ‘Cultures and their Global Entanglements.’ They all sound right up my alley and am disappointed no one told me sooner. Do you hold on to your dreams? Some of them, the ones I know I have a chance of attaining. Obviously I’ve had to let some go, like wanting to go to the moon or becoming a firefighter. Do you follow rules or break them? Follow. I don’t like getting into trouble. Is there someone you are dying to see? A lot of people. Who do you want to be buried next to? I’ve given this zero thoughts. Are you double-jointed? Nope. Did your dream last night involve blood? It didn’t. I’m not even sure what my dreams were anymore. Who was the last person to yell at you? My mom, probably. How do you feel about the new president? I wouldn’t call him new, he’s in the latter half of his term now. I hate him and I hope he dies soon. Do good things come to those who wait? Sure, it can happen. What is the last song you played on iTunes? I haven’t used that in a while. The last one I listened to on Spotify was Sudden Desire by Hayley Williams. Petals For Armor is still on loop, surprise. What is the last thing you looked up on youtube? I was showing my sister the hilarious Vine of Beyoncé where she thanks a talk show host who tells her “You are Beyoncé,” as if it was a compliment looooool, so I looked up “you are beyonce thank you.” When is the last time you went to the grocery store? March 9th. What is your favorite fish? Tuna or eel for raw fish, tilapia for cooked. What kind of calendar do you have? A digital one. Have you ever been two hours late for school? Oh hell no. I’ve been late before, but if it’s as dramatic as being an hour late I usually just cut class to save myself the embarassment of having to do the walk of shame entering the class. What is your favorite stuffed animal that you own? I don’t have any stuffed animals. Who did you hang out with yesterday? My family, as has been the case since March. Has anyone stolen your heart yet? Yes. Have you ever won a gold medal? No. I’ve won first place before, but they didn’t issue out gold medals. Do you have any trophies? Also no. Do you work out? I don’t. When you introduce yourself, do you give hand shakes? Sometimes, but tbh I just picked it up from Gabie who’s a big hand-shaker. I preferably wouldn’t cause it seems so formal to me. Is there a limit to how many best friends you have? Yeah, like I wouldn’t want to have a lot; I like keeping my immediate circle small. I’m more than content with my two best friends. When's the last time you went to a dance? 2016. What grade are you in? Soooooooooo unbelievably close to graduating college. Are you in a band? I’m not and haven’t been. Have you ever been in a talent show? No thanks. Have you ever won a contest? Competitions, yes. Contests, no. How do you feel about germs? I’m quite particular about them. I don’t like sharing clothes with people; I pick which friends get to eat off of my spoon or sip from my straw; I’m super iffy about touching someone else’s keyboard; I really don’t like having to touch other people’s hair and with that is also the fact that I never borrow or lend hair ties. Holy shit so I’m more germaphobic than I thought and all I had to do was list these things down......................... Do you like screamo music? Not really. What does your wallet look like? Pink and a lot thinner now that I haven’t been given an allowance since they stopped school. Do you have any hickeys on you? No. At this point, I really wish I did lmao Would you rather have money or love? Money. I love love, but I won’t deny that I also love being able to afford the lifestyle I want to live haha. Do you have any family pictures hanging on the wall? Not on the wall, but we have several frames lined up on the first few steps of our stairs. Which do you prefer: bath or shower? Bath after a long hard day. Shower most days. Do you have a lamp in your room? I used to, but I removed it after realizing the light just keeps me from falling asleep faster.

Do you have windows vista? No. Do you have the strength to say goodbye forever? I’ll deal with it if I had no choice, but I’ve never handled goodbyes well.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

D23 Dissect: Emma Stone Is Cruella De Vil

First of all I want to make something quite clear, this is going to be a slightly biased post for the pure and simple reason that Cruella de Vil is not only my favourite Disney Villain but in many regards I feel my spiritual mother.

That being said, I am still going to try and present a balanced view as to why I feel this is a bad idea not just in terms of casting and creative choices over the character, but also just the movie in general.

Background:

I made a post way back when in January 2016 when the announcement that a live-action origin movie based on Cruella de Vil first surfaced, however in the three and a half year time span between that announcement and this first look, nothing has been mentioned so I genuinely believed the idea had been scrapped.

Turns out it was either just shelved in favour of their big live-action remakes, because this at least can’t be a remake due to being a prequel to The Hundred and One Dalmatians, but I desperately wanted this to just be a scrapped idea, yet this is the reality we are now in.

Also to date the character of Cruella de Vil has had three live-action incarnations with Glenn Close, Victoria Smufit and Wendy Raquel Robinson all giving their own unique interpretations to the fur-loving socialite who was first introduced in the original 1958 novel by Dodie Smith and then made famous by Betty Lou Gerson in the 1961 One Hundred and One Dalmatians animated movie.

Cruella is also one of the most well known Disney Villains, she is up there in the top tier along with Maleficent, Jafar, Ursula, Captain Hook and the Evil Queen. So any re-imagining of these beloved characters will always be under a microscope to ensure that whoever is handling them is honouring the legacy of the character, just look at the reactions to the latest trailer for Maleficent: Mistress of Evil.

Disney Live-Action Renaissance:

Well it has finally happened, I strongly feel that everyone has a cut off point when it comes to franchise and brand loyalty and for me the Disney Live-Action Movies have finally reached saturation point for me.

Now again, I know that the remakes are technically a different category to the original movies, but when the movie is drawing inspiration from original material then you have to always compare because you can’t help not to.

Just to clarify, I love the live-action Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin and Maleficent and I enjoyed Dumbo, Cinderella, The Lion King and the first Alice in Wonderland. But 101 Dalmatians is the first movie to be remade for live-action back in 1996 and it was, for me, a fantastic version of the story.

Cruella:

As I said before, Cruella de Vil as a character holds a special place in my heart and has done since I can remember. So for me, this is a character that when portrayed differently to how they were when I first saw them, I just critically.

Glenn Close is the exception for me because for me she is on the same level as the original animated version and I can almost compare the two enough to see them both as the same character in the same universe.

Victoria Smurfit on Once Upon a Time was another good interpretation. I will admit when she was first introduced the fact she was an alcoholic magic-user who looked more like a drag-version of Patsy Stone than Cruella de Vil was an adjustment but I fell in love with the sadistic and cynical whit she had and her origin episode was brilliant.

Wendy Raquel Robinson is probably my least favourite interpretation to date and I understand she was not meant for a substantional role in Descendants but they turn her from the mad Devil Woman into simply the crazy dog lady. I loved Carlos and he was my favourite character possibly because I wanted to be him but Cruella herself wasn’t great.

In terms of the animated version of the character, because she was the first version I saw I guess I kind of imprinted on her but in both the animated movies and the animated series she’s simply brilliant.

Emma Stone:

Alright so Emma Stone is a marmite actress for me, but in her defence she is in a lot of either niche or marmite movies.

My favourite role of hers is still probably Gwen Stacy in The Amazing Spider-Man movies and the prospect of at the time seeing her as Spider-Gwen would have been interesting.

Her most recent movie The Favourite was a great role for her, but the movie itself isn’t too memorable. Similarly La La Land was overhyped and Zombieland I haven’t seen.

But from a completely biased judgement, Emma Stone is not the type of actress to portray Cruella de Vil.

Prominently, Emma Stone is American while Cruella is from London. now yes both Glenn Close and Betty Lou Gerson are American but put on the British sophisticate persona, but Emma Stone to me does not have that.

She tried in The Favourite, but she never made me think “Oh yes she’s perfect for Cruella”.

Cruella Origin Movie:

Now in terms of the movie, the main things we know about it firstly are what we see in the released image from D23, where first and foremost I have to say that this looks like a drag version of Cruella de Vil...but a very bad interpreted drag styling.

Why is she wearing leather? Leather may be from a cow, but Cruella de Vil is primarily known for wearing furs rather than leathers yet here she looks like a punk goth with that really heavy eye-shadow 

She doesn’t even look like Emma Stone here, genuinely she looks like Helena Bonham Carter. The only thing about this that says Cruella is the two-tone hair because nothing else from the makeup to the outfits says Cruella to me.

Also why the dalmatians, I mean obviously this could be her having captured three dalmatians to turn into a coat but you can’t tell from this photo.

Again going back to Once Upon a Time and Cruella’s origin episode “Sympathy for the De Vil” showed Cruella as a child supposedly at the mercy of her mother who was a dalmatian dog trainer, but when she’s an adult and reveals that she is in fact a villain she turns her mother’s two dalmatians into a coat.

Emma Thompson has been cast in an undisclosed role, but if she’s playing her mother or not we don’t know.

As for Jasper and Horace, aside from the dalmatians, they are my favourite thing about this image. That’s Joel Fry on the right as Jasper and Paul Walter Hauser as Horace on the left, the latter of whom looks authentic as hell aside from the moped.

This is listed as a comedy crime drama fantasy movie, I have to say I find the fact they have comedy as a listed genre for the movie rather offensive. You’re talking about the origin of a woman who hordes furs by having innocent animals like dalmatians skinned. Jasper and Horace can provide comedy fine, but the movie should not be a comedy.

Overall I have to say I am not impressed or confident with this project at all, it is possibly the first time I can safely say I am not looking forward to a Disney movie. I will still see it to judge fairly for myself rather than not seeing it and judging without evidence, but I am not happy.

So those are my thoughts of the upcoming Cruella origin movie starring Emma Stone, what do you guys think? Post your comments and check out more D23 Dissects as well as other posts.

[kureijikristin]

Last thing about You (fiction)

I often wonder how you are, and though I have no idea, I believe you must be well. It’s what I hope for, because it’s what you deserve.

Two years ago, i learned many things in life. How to handle my extreme emotions and how to react on things calmly. Before that year, i was so sluggish and introvert. My life circulated in just one person, until i met You.

You changed my perception in life. That some people can lie, hurt someone and love unexpectedly at the same time. And I’m one of those people.

In this post, i would focus the concept on how i met you, how you came and changed the path i took.

Let’s go back to the moment we’re enjoying each other’s company. Would you believe me if had to tell you that i have feelings for you and wished that i had a freedom to say it loudly to the world. Of course you won’t. I think we’re both cynical in our own ways.

You said you’re an Atheist, Your Birthday is on January 1 with side stories like “your mother gave birth in the Car while the fireworks were starting to pop-up” and some other facts from your childhood, teenage life and current one. Have i not told you that i am gullible? yes, that’s one of my weaknesses.

What’s up with the sticky notes on my table? the “Lalabs” term you used. Actually, i forgot about that but one morning in the office, this sticky note suddenly appeared and was about to trash it, until i remembered, it was your note for me.

You asked me to ate lunch outside the office. It was a successful lunch because i got to look you in the eyes.. You even told me you had a scar there and you got it from playing basketball. Ha-ha I didn’t know if it’s true. But i believe in you.

It was our first time to watch a movie in a cinema theater, had butterflies in my stomach, but i was not prepared when you told me that you’re having a literally upset stomach. Aww. You didn’t know how cute you were while i’m asking you to take a medicine to relieve your troubled tummy. I still can remember when you lit a cigarette and smoked beside me just to feel okay. Awful for my lungs but good for my heart. Ha-ha! got you there. ☻

Everything was perfect, until my best friend got mad at me. She closed her doors for me. It was really sad. The reason? I lied to her about my relationship with this “one person” (read the second paragraph). I lied to him. I lied to You.

Sorry, I lied to you. And i am very sorry.. :(

I told you that we broke up. But i didn’t tell you that we came back together. I just felt bad of losing someone like you at that time because you already became my happiness and hope until.........

December of 2016, Roller Coaster ride. You were like a mushroom back then, giving attention to me like “wow” then abruptly, you took me for granted. What was that? Maybe that’s the reason why i chose to love him again. Stupid me, right? It was really a circus... I played. I fucked up. Nevertheless, it made me who i am today and i thank you for that.

Wait, who would forget those clumsy and awkward movement of yours? The dotted words coming from your mouth and the innocence of your smile. The times you’d tease me or making fun of me every time you’d put a paper (with happy face) under my mouse. It’s not funny Ha-ha. You’re not a funny guy, absolutely. But you made me laugh when i cracked a joke and you didn’t laugh, like, was it corny? am i not funny? ha-ha. I was challenged to look for funny jokes just to make you laugh. And Taa-daah! Seeing you smile was a cloud nine.

Every time i watched the movie “Me Before You”, It’s you i always remember. I never expected that you’d watch it. though i’m not kind of assuming but.. well.. i can’t hide the fact that i felt kilig when you post it in your facebook. I’m so shallow i know. i know. that’s me.

Who would’ve thought that we had to experience playing in an arcade/amusement? We’re just, you know, colleagues. Riding an empty bus, just the two of us and the driver and not paying the fare. Ha-ha Memories...

Thank you for bringing me to the fullybooked store. 

I still have the flash drive you bought for me. Ha-ha that moment, i will never forget. You kept on saying to the counter boys that you’re cheap for buying me a second best flash drive. Ha-ha the price didn’t really matter to me anyway. The fact that you, a miser, spent money to buy me stuff is waaaaay more interesting. That night, you asked me to watch movie again. the most kilig part there, when we walked.. until you tripped. In front of Wilcon Depot. Ha-ha I was like, “Can you relax?”

We were spontaneous that night, I didn’t think you were a fan of Kwek-kwek, the hard-boiled egg covered with orange skin ha-ha. That’s cute, Isn’t? As the night goes well, you helped me in buying gifts for my family. You even chose the design, until we had to talked about my uncle. well, i think you’d remember it. You’re the best in little things, right? I love how you remember the little things i said and done. Sweet gesture. Your special someone must be so lucky. ♥ We watched Star Wars though i'm not a fan, you convinced me to watch it. Sorry, i slept maybe 5 times the whole movie. Ha-ha

The night before i knew that i was ---, you asked me to have a pizza (where we used to eat). My mind was full of confusions and doubts that time, honestly, i had no plans of talking to you that day. But i ended up having snacks with you. Who can’t resist someone like you? Of course, Me. I was surprised with your revelations, my brain was asking, “Why the hell is he telling me these things?” “ooops, no turning back. I need to hear this” After i heard your stories, i felt overwhelmed. I was not ready hearing your dark secrets, or were you bluffing me again? Well, That’s not funny at all. “I was having anxiety over my fucked up decisions in life and then you’re here telling me all that. What am i gonna do? I might lose you. forever-”

The morning came, i was a bit nervous. I saw the two lines. My brain twisted like pretzels, i didn’t know what to think or do. I almost forgot you. I gradually removed you from the picture. I had to.

Sorry that i didn’t say anything. 

We didn't end the way any of us wanted and to say that I regret losing you is totally understated. I can still remember the day you called me and said nothing.  I returned the call. you didn’t answer.. 

You may call me crazy but i was a hopeless romantic freak who believed in Destiny. I just tried. I risked my composure. I ignored my serenity. Tell me, Is it worth it?  

Yes, It’s really worth it. You were worth trying. you know what? Memories of you still haunt me up to this day.. And it’s making me wish i had never met You.

Please don’t judge me for telling all these after almost two years. It’s just that, I have to do it or else my heart wont let me live peacefully.

Last thing I hope is that you're doing well and that you're one step closer to your dreams.

Goodbye, happy face.

P.s. If you'll ask me if i have loved you, the answer is Yes.

[igotshinee21]

Dear Jonghyun,

A year. That's what it's been. I still can't believe it. You have everyone around the world missing you and crying and praying that you're ok. It seems like just yesterday I was 5 sitting in front of the TV in my grandmother's house watching SHINee's debut stage. All I could focus on was you. It took my grandmother having to pull the Korean news channel up on her computer for me to go eat breakfast and get ready for the day.

I couldn't stop watching you. I knew you were singing for your Noona but I. I felt like you were singing for me. You were smiling but looked so focused on the dance that you just radiated 'LOOK AT ME IM THE BLING!' and I just remember asking my grandma who you were and she reads the Hangul going across tbe screen and says 'Kim Jonghyun' and that's when I fell in love.

That whole day I went through Kindergarten class singing Replay and all the kids around me called me names cause they spoke English they didn't understand who you were or how powerful you were. You made a 5 year old have standards for guys that I shouldn't have had.

I went home that day still humming it and went inside. I went on the computer and just searched you and then I saw you. The next few years went by. I fell more in love with you by the day. But after you debuted and became my center the worse took place.

My step dad the person who I was to go to for comfort and feel protected by began to abuse me. Every night I would lay in bed crying and wondering why a now 6 year old had to go through this. I started sobbing and the only thing that calmed me down was you. The smile that your face brought and the twinkle your eyes shown. I laid in bed everynight thinking of you begging you to come get me from the life I was living.

The abuse got worse. I was 7 with depression and having to steal my mom's makeup to cover up bruises. That's when I started having panic attacks and hyperventilating. The one night I couldn't breathe and had to go to the hospital but the doctor asked me if I had a way to calm down and I said yes. Music. And more specifically SHINee, you. He played like 3 of your songs and watched as I went from on the brink of passing out to dancing to replay.

He told me that it was because of you I was breathing and hadn't died of oxygen lack. So I left happy. But the abuse didn't let up. If anything it got worse. He used you guys against me, told me I was getting punished cause you guys saw me as a disappointment. But I knew it was a lie. You guys brought a smile to my face every time I thought of you. But when I turned 10, that's when I turned to you for the late nights in the bathroom. When the only relief was self harm. After a while of sitting there you talked me into putting the blade down and cleaning up and that I could make it cause your voice gave me hope it gave me a safe place. Weeks later I was in the same spot though. Except this time I wanted to end my life. I sat there crying and didn't move. No one was home. But my iPod started playing randomly and the first thing I hear is you. Your voice came through the headphones clear as day. I fell asleep on the bathroom floor feeling like I was gonna be okay because I felt like you weren't gonna let anything happen to me. But of course he had other plans. He took most of my innocence and told me if I told a soul I'd get in so much trouble. So I kept my mouth shut. Now 2014 comes and I'm turning 11. I'm in the 6th grade and it's November. Thanksgiving time. next week and a half is hell for me. my grandma dies and you know who helps me cope??? You.. you let me cry myself to sleep thinking I was gonna be okay.

YOU WERE MY HOPE

YOU WERE MY SAVIOR

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAVED ME

But of course let's rewind some of 2014. You became 'Blue Night's radio host and every day it never failed I'd listen. Even though I didnt understand much your voice got me through the everyday life.

Now 2015. By this time I had tried ending my life a total of 4 times. I self harmed more than what I wish I did and I became so wrapped up with my pain and the fear of people seeing me weak I was diagnosed with Smiling depression. The same thing you had. But you held me through all the pain and suffering. My mom leaves my step dad. And actually right now in 2018 shes in the process of divorcing him.

We move down south from New York to Georgia (USA). I was afraid of people making fun of me that I barley listened to kpop. I was so absorbed with not getting put an outcast I almost lost you. But you still were there. The nights I cried. The nights I have like tonight where i just hurt and don't know how to fix it.

2016 rolls around and I lose it! You release you're she is album on my birthday and I felt like the luckiest girl ever. I called my grandma and told her how you wrote she is for me. And yes at the age 13 i swore we were soul mates. I had ever since I was 5 so why stop?

And then 2017... I lost sight of you. I barley kept in touch with what SHINee and you were doing. I knew you stopped hosting. And y'all dropped a Japanese song (GET THE TREASURE IS A BOP! But so is every SHINee song) i was so focused with school and sports I lost sight of you. Then I moved to where I am now. And face more shit. I was sexually harrased the first 3 months I moved here, I stared self harming again and pulled all nigher just so I wouldn't have nightmares. Then December 18th comes. I wake up to my friend blowing up my emails and feed with the news. I was lost deviated shocked numb. I couldnt feel anything. You were my everything. My rock. The reason I kept fighting. And I couldn't help you from the thing you helped me from.

I didn't do anything for the next two weeks. I was of course numb. I did the bareminimun. I barley ate. I didn't sleep. Then I cried non stop in my room. I couldn't let everyone know I was hurting. My family didn't even think there was something wrong with me cause I hid the pain so well. I mean I became so good at looking okay people just assumed I had the best of everything.

January 1st came and I didnt want to do this. I didn't want anymore tomorrows. But as I sat in my room crying over you I heard it. The same thing I heard every time I cried like that. You told me id be okay and that you'd always be there. Then for some reason I couldn't stop wanting to see you. Every SHINee video I watched. Every video of you I watched.

I haven't read your letter or watched the funeral. I refuse. I guess I'm afraid it'll make it like official official that you're gone and that I have no choice but to say goodbye. But I don't wanna say goodbye you became my reason for fighting. The reason I rolled out of bed. The hope that life was gonna get better

I wish I could have helped you. I'm so sorry. I just hope you're okay and happy and not hurting.

You did well bling bling. I'll post more later today. It's just gonna be my favorite moments of you. You and SHINee. Always and forever.

I hope the words I could never say reach you. 'THANK YOU'

(just some people on insta paying tribute)

[yoitsalec-blog1]

Review on “Serial” Season 1, “S-Town”, &  “The Horror of Dolores Roach” - What is a Podcast?

   I just want to start this out by saying I’m sorry I haven’t posted a blog in sooo long. I’ve procrastinated because I didn’t know what to blog about next! At one time I was going to make a blog about my Bloom Tour experience and another was a Bloom album review, but I decided to make another on these Podcasts. A week ago I have never listened to any podcasts or knew where to listen to them, I had no interest, BUT, these last few days it’s all I listen to on my phone, in the car, & on my laptop. What are Podcasts? They’re free easy to download audio books in a way is what I think of them as. I KNOW, audio books? Because myself personally am a book reader, I couldn’t listen and focus unless I see it in my hands reading with my eyes bobbing left to read like when you watch a tennis match just reading every sentence. You might not think there’s a difference between these and audio books, but you typically can’t subscribe to audio books as you can podcasts, and podcasts put the story into episodes; series. Every episode can be a different topic or a whole story that makes it into a season, whichever genres you’re into, there’s one for you. Okay enough of this, onto the reviews.

“Serial” Season 1

  Summary -  Season one of this Podcast show called “Serial” tells the story of a 1999 kidnapping and murder case of Hae Min Lee January 13th. This Podcast started their own investigation on this case in 2014, 15 years later, after Sarah Koenig receives an email about this case to try and prove Adnan Seyed innocent. Adnan was found guilty and convicted of murder and kidnapping of Hae Min Lee and was having to serve at first, the dealth penalty but was then changed to Life plus 30 years. (If i remember forgive me if that was wrong) Adnan was dating Hae Min Lee at one time 15 years ago. It’s a story that leaves you always wondering “Who actually did it?” and while you try and come up with your own theory, Koenig works on this investigation for atleast 2 years, reaching to past friends of Adnan’s and Hae’s back in highschool and Adnan’s family and childhood to learn who Adnan was really like. I cannot spoil anything for you in this podcast because it’s just a must-listen.

  Review - I loved this season out of the three “Serial” has produced personally because it’s a murder mystery case with unexpecting surprises throughout entirely. Because of this Podcast as you should know, Adnan’s case in 2016 was reopened for another trial. Nice fitting background music on pauses and suspensed moments. Professionals and experts were used in this series to give better understanding of what might to expect in situations like this. Just having real interrogations and court cases from back in 1999 that you’re able to hear yourself from everyone involved makes this season stand out and grab my attention and I know this deserved the ratings it got. Crazy amount of downloads this Series has received resulting in receiving the Peabody award and #1 on the charts.

“S-Town

  Summary -  “S-Town” comes from the same producers of “Serial” but a different host, Brian Reed. This is a 7 Chapter Series of what first seems to be about an email Reed received from a John B. Mclemore of Bibb County, Alabama, wanting Reed to investigate into a possible murder of a young boy in his town, but that topic changes. The Series follows as Brian travels to this small town in Alabama to learn more about this town, and eventually John. John is a very interesting man, even a genius as most have called him in this series, as the many revealings we learn throughout.

   Review - I have to be honest with you, at points in this series, i was left upset, even teary-eyed at how powerful this is, but that’s not the only feelings I had, no this series came at me at different angles, from laughing and happy and angry and sad. It’s a must-listen guys and definitely free to download. Also lives up to it’s ratings, not to mention how many downloads this got in a short amount of time resulting in receiving the Peabody Award.

“The Horror of Delores Roach”

   Summary -  This story tells of a Woman in her 30s, Delores Roach, just released out of prison after serving 16 years for a drug bust. The Setting: New York. being that she gets released after so long, she has no idea about the new technological world that we live in today. There’s different Broadways and stores around her that took the places of all the old shops there was before she went away. All except one, an Empanada restaraunt that her and her old boyfriend Dominik used to always go. She walks into the store and who does she find? A guy named Luis that used to buy weed from her back then, he’s the owner of this restaraunt. With only having $195 after giving $5 to the homeless man, Luis offers her a place to stay in the room below the restaurant. Since Delores doesn’t have a job, soon Luis and Delores sparks an idea for Delores to be a masseuse, a given trade she was taught back in prison, and man is she good! But one incident with a man by the name of Mr. Pearlman that winds up dead in the restaurant, things are looking badly and the body must be rid of. 

   Review - I felt if I continued onto my summary I could’ve spoiled more that you deserve to find out yourself. Furthermore this story contains adult content for the young ears out there so beware. I enjoyed listening to this story, would also hope for a following story after? Hint hint ;) I love the imagery I was able to produce in my head with sound effects and descriptions used. And the characters? Phenomonal! Well done! It honestly had me just stop in my tracks at times just focused on what’s next. Great acting, great story line and above all a must-listen

   Thank you for reading this review, hope you liked it, you can also like this post and follow me. And also tomorrow I turn 19

[marklineson]

RED THREADS (ACT III)

Park Chanyeol × Park Sooyoung

Park Chanyeol loved his wife enough to think she’d be blinded by love as much as he was when he took her for granted and started meeting another woman behind her back. He thought he, as a respected police officer, would be strong enough to take any damage given to his heart and mind-

The less was he prepared for the day his wife, Sooyoung, ended up leaving him. The day he had asked her out. The day he had proposed to her.

Christmas Eve.

Chapter Song:

Word Count: 1.8k

ACT III - INTERLUDE

“I’m glad you’re starting to embrace the mistakes you made, now.”

27th of December, 2016

Surprisingly, Park Chanyeol was still alive.

The morning after his emotional breakdown, Chanyeol had been waiting for a sign of his in-laws- no raging father who cursed at him for cheating on his daughter, no crying mother who was dissappointed in him, not even a simple phone call- had Sooyoung even told them? Where had she been if she wasn't at her parents' house? Was she staying with Seulgi?

He sighed deeply and made an attempt to comb his tousled hair and then made preparations to brush his teeth- both activities had been pretty much ignored ever since Sooyoung had left him on the 24th. Chanyeol groaned at the memory of waking up in the middle of their sompletely destroyed living room- glass shards everywhere, the christmas tree had been tossed out of the window into ther backyard, the sofa and table had been turned... and Chanyeol himself had woken up with one of the greatest headaches in history. He had drowned the pity and pain he felt for himself in alcohol that night- and he still was disgusted of himself.

Stop acting like a loser. You deserved it all.

Chanyeol went back to his now way too empty bedroom (and he really missed tripping over Sooyoung's shoes and nagging at her for her untidiness) to put on something decent and neat- today's task demanded some class and backbones.

Closing the buttons of his blazer, he made his way downstairs and grabbed the neat leather case on the kitchen counter. It was light, someone else possibly would have mistaken it for being empty- yet the meaning of the one single sheet inside weighed heavier than anything he'd ever carried.

The way to Seulgi's office was a long one- ten minutes could feel like a whole day when you were busy considering whether you did the right thing or not.

The moment he got out of his car, he saw Seulgi already waiting at the entrance of her office, right foot tapping eagerly as she was obviously waiting for him.

No turning back now.

"Good morning", he exclaimed, trying to force a smile onto his face while Seulgi just stared at him blankly, right hand extended. "Did you enjoy your Christmas-"

"I've got no time for someone like you, Park", she snarled at him and raised her eyebrows, "I hope you signed the papers correctly." It pained him to hear the eager undertone in her voice- after all, they had been friends until a few days ago- yet it wasn't like he couldn't understand that she held on to her best friend. Sooyoung.

"I guess I did, I followed all of your little notes on the sticky note on top." Chanyeol ruffled his hair a bit, suddenly looking like a little lost boy. Seulgi felt thrown back in time for a second, seeing the eighteen-yeared high school senior who asked her to give Sooyoung his love letter. She huffed, ripping the papers out of his hand.

"What is it, Chanyeol?"

"I..." He hesitated for a bit, wondering how she'd noticed his inner conflict, but then again, she was as good at reading people as her boyfriend, who also happened to be Chanyeol's best friend. "About Sooyoung-"

"I'm not telling you where she went to, Chanyeol." 

"It- no, it's not that." He hurriedly waved the question off, looking at her like a puppy she'd kicked out of the house. "I just... wanted to ask you a small favour", and at her eyebrows raising themselves painfully fast and her grip on the doorknob strengthening, he added-"Just tell her I broke up with Minri that night." He noticed his breath had picked up it's pace, his chest now heaving from the sudden rush of emotions inside his body. "Please tell her that I still love her, and-"

"-It's enough. You better stop here, before you start making an even bigger fool out of yourself." Seulgi's voice grew even colder with every single word, forcing themselves into Chanyeol's brain without giving him a chance to unhear them. "Listen, I will tell her you broke up with that... affair of yours", her face carried a hint of disgust and dissapprovement,"even though I know she won't even be interested. She moved on, Chanyeol. Sooyoung has things to worry about, much greater than a man who wasn’t satisfied with what he had."

Her gaze softened with a deep sigh, and in a lower voice, she added "I am glad you can at least embrace the mistakes you made now." With that, she made an attempt on closing the door, only stopping in mid-action to quickly exclaim "I'll send you the following papers around New Year's", and finally left him to stand alone at the entrance.

14th of January, 2017

Everyone in division 3 of Seoul's police departement had wanted to make it a calm, relaxing day. Some collegues had returned from a family vacation, others had been out drinking last night and had hoped for a few silent minutes to sit and close their eyes, unseen in their office- yet none of these were supposed to happen.

Instead, there was an uproar when the door to the division's main office was thrown open.

"Boss, you can't be serious! Chanyeol's been our partner for three years now, and-"

"Stop it, Kim. Park has been misusing his power as a part of our division. He-" Jongdae huffed at that, while his other partner, Byun Baekhyun, couldn't withstand stomping with his right foot. 

"Oh, come on, Boss, He's searching for his wife! You're married as well, wouldn't you miss your wife and try to find her if she had vanished from the scene-" This time, it was Kim Junmyeon's snort that filled the room.

"Can't really say that I miss her, when I was the one sending her divorce papers last week."

Baekhyun's mouth opened to form an irregular shape of disbelieve, while Jongdae simply raised his eyebrows and couldn't hold in a surprised "Oh!".

"Anyways, I had to-"

"It's okay, Boss. I understand." 

Everyone's gaze shifted to the seemingly shrunken person in the middle of the room, the actual theme of the day- Park Chanyeol. Deep down, he thanked his two friends and partners for taking action in this, but... it wasn't like he was innocent in this case.

"Listen, guys. I perfectly knew what I was doing when I sneaked into this office to use the main computer and get access to our gps search programm. I knew what I was doing when I found the adress and immediately made my way there last night. I misused my work for my personal matters, and Sooyoung... she wasn't even there anymore." He got up, his head hanging, and bowed to his boss. "I will pack up my stuff and move to division five immediately. Thank you for everything, Boss."

After another bow, he turned around  and went straight to his own office, ignoring the bunch of collegues coming at him and begging him for more information on this whole situation, yet he waved all of them off and shoved himself through the group of people, only to open his door to the empty office and close it behind him right away. 

He didn't even take some time to sit and calm down, knowing he couldn't push away what was launching at him- the consequences for his inappropriate actions.

He raised his head when the door to his office was thrown open and then shut again with a loud bang, but went on with packing when he saw his two partners had walked in. 

"Hey man, stop packing, I'm sure we can convince the boss to give you a milder-"

"Stop." Chanyeol looked up and gazed at Baekhyun, who still didn't want to understand what was going on, while Jongdae went over to his own desk and fell into his chair casually, raising his feet up onto his working table. 

"Baek, he's right. We shouldn't try to get our hands into the matter any further." He took a sip of the coffee he brought along for himself, but then pulled a face and put the plastic cup away because... this instant coffee wasn't really his taste. Wondering how Baekhyun could be so fond of something that tasted like dishwater, he went on.

"Junmyeon has faith in Chanyeol, that's why he's giving him the chance to work himself up the latter again. Remember that he could have also been expelled for such a huge matter."

Baekhyun sneered at that. He wasn't really happy about the fact that they'd get a new partner until Chanyeol was back with them, and he didn't even want to imagine the time it would take for the three of them to be reunited. He gulped down his own coffee and then oggled Jongdae's, who simply signaled him to go on and drink it. 

The scene made Chanyeol snicker, before he finally pulled his name tag off of his black shirt and put it on the table. "I think I've got everything... tell Kyungsoo to keep my desk as untidy as possible while I'm away."

"I'm sure it'll feel naked without all of your bonbon wrappers scattered everywhere", Jongdae grinned, and stood up to ruffle Chanyeol's hair. 

"I'll make sure that chaos lives on in this office", Baekhyun muttered between two sips and then threw the empty cup onto Chanyeol's table. 

"Hey, I'm sure he's coming in-"

"I won't accept anyone else sitting across from me, Yeol. Especially not... him." Again, Baekhyun pulled a face and his friends immediately remembered their training period, that had been plastered with the arguments of Byun Baekhyun and Do Kyungsoo. They'd known each other since middle school, and while Kyungsoo actually didn't hold any grudges against Baekhyun, latter had always been jealous of the other's gains and professional manner. "I was furious enough about him using our division as a break time from his oh-so-superior work at division one, only because he wants to spend more time with his family? Why can't he simply hit vacation status for a while, I wasn't the one who caused his wife to give birth and-"

"Hey, you better mind your words, buddy! She's my sister, after all!" Jongdae withstood the urge to throw Baek's empty coffee cups at him, remembering how crushed he'd been when his sister announced her engagement to Kyungsoo in the middle of a garden party of Jongdae's parents that his friends had attended as well. He was sure that Baekhyun's feud with Kyungsoo had only started to manifest itself that evening. Jongdae knew only too well about the feelings his friend had harbored for his sister back then, even if Baekhyun had played them off as “attraction” most of the time.

Chanyeol laughed whole-heartedly before finally finding his voice again and pulled both of them in for one last group hug. "I'll miss you two. Make sure to visit me down there, okay?"

His friends both sighed in agreement and also threw their arms around him, patting his back and ruffling his hair before they accompanied him to the elevator that would bring him 15 floors downward. Baekhyun threw a last snappy remark at Chanyeol for leaving him like that, while Chen crossed his arms and went over to the beverage dispensor to get himself some nice green tea, wondering if a woman one had cheated on himself was truly worth giving up his job and reputation just like that.

Back to the Read Threads Minipost | ACT 4

[taemins-dolphin]

Missing You (With D.O.)

genre: there’s no smut

1k words

“What a cute couple!” They would say when they would catch a glimpse of you and Kyungsoo……’s height. They would always focus on how you two looked as a couple instead of how you worked as one. I mean, sure, you guys weren’t the tallest humans out there but you were not the shortest either!

When you met new people, it would always be the same thing over and over again. They would mistake you two for siblings and then awkwardly tell you it was because the height made you and Kyungsoo look way too innocent and young to be in a relationship. I know what you’re thinking, what’s the correlation between being young and being siblings? There is none. Their assumptions never made any sense.

However, none of the assumptions were as bad as the one right now. You and Kyungsoo were going out to hang out with some friends at a club (a place you both agreed you’d only go to once a month) when Chanyeol decided to introduce to you a lady in a black dress (which you found odd by the way).

“Hi, I’m Kyungsoo.” He introduces himself to her and you do so as well, putting your hand out to shake.

The lady in black, you don’t even want to say her name, completely disregarded you! She didn’t even look at you! She was so rude, you kept tugging at Kyungsoo’s dress shirt for him to notice how insulted you felt but your boyfriend has never been the confrontational type. If it happens, then it happens. You have to grow past it, he would always say.

It’s kind of a stupid thing to live by because if something bad happens, then do something about it? Don’t just sit there and pretend it never happened! But again, that’s just your boyfriend’s mantra.

You spent the whole night trying to ignore the lady in black flirting with your boyfriend, pouting at Kyungsoo from the booth like you’d always do when he was too polite to tell someone they’ve been talking for too long.

-

When you thought it couldn’t have gotten any worse, Kyungsoo didn’t even apologize to you that night. No, you and he just went back home as if nothing ever happened. He went straight to bed, not even bothering to change out of his clothes, while you waited for an apology that would never come.

Stupid mantra.

“At least brush your teeth…” You mumble, covering your nose as he releases a long sigh.

-

You awake the next morning; Kyungsoo long gone from his side of the bed and his wrinkled clothes from last night tossed on the floor. You search for the alarm clock to find the blaring red digits warning you how late you’re gonna be for work. That jerk Kyungsoo… He didn’t even apologize last night for ditching you and now he didn’t even think of waking you up at the same time as him.

You get up from bed to find Kyungsoo in the washroom, brushing his teeth furiously as he tries to blow-dry his hair at the same time. Clearly, he woke up late as well.

“Serves you right.” You mumble with a pout and a slight smirk.

“Why do you keep leaving your clothes on the floor lately?? It’s such a bad habit.” You pick up the clothes from last night and put them in the basket. You look back at Kyungsoo to find him staring at you blankly. “Oh my god, just hurry. I have to brush my teeth too!”

You run off in a hurry to the kitchen so you could prepare a quick breakfast for the two of you. You shake your head and smile at how cute he looked when he was getting scolded.

“I am the most wife girlfriend ever.”

-

Kyungsoo isn’t acting like himself at all lately. He’s been distant, messy, and overall annoying. He doesn’t talk as much as he used to. He doesn’t clean up after himself anymore. And it just bothers you! You miss having him talk nonstop about his anime shows and you’re back was starting to hurt from all the clothes you’ve been picking up!

Something’s been bothering him and you had to admit it hurt that he didn’t want to talk to you about it. However, being the good girlfriend that you are, you decide to call up Chanyeol. If he didn’t want to talk to you about it, then maybe some guy time would help him get his mind off of it!

You search for your phone everywhere but you just can’t find. You sigh, Kyungsoo must’ve misplaced it. He always uses your phone to watch his shows and never puts it back at the same place. You shrug, taking his phone instead to call Chanyeol.

“Hello?” Chanyeol answers almost right away. He’s always been that close to Kyungsoo.

“Hey! Wanna come over to cheer up your bestie? He’s been acting down lately. I don’t know what’s gotten-” You’re cut off by Chanyeol’s boisterous voice.

“Hello??” He yells over the phone. You laugh, signals always been bad in your apartment.

“It’s Y/N, you wanna come over?”

“I’m coming over there!!” You wince as he shouts a little too aggressively for your taste. That makes two unhappy men in your life now.

“Babe, Chanyeol’s coming over! I’m going out!” You let your boyfriend know you’re leaving before you let him have his fun with Chanyeol. Kyungsoo will probably thank you for giving you the space he needed. You’re seriously the best girlfriend ever.

-

When you come back, you’re met with a bunch of boxes. Your eyes are shot wide open at how sudden this is. The whole apartment was almost empty! What on earth is going on!

“Kyungsoo!” You scream out his name, confused out of your mind. Was he moving out? How upset was he with you?

When he doesn’t answer, you walk around the apartment, searching for him. He isn’t in the kitchen. He’s not in the living room either. You check the bedroom, only to find him dressed up in a very expensive looking tux, sitting down on the mattress, crying as he held onto a small red velvet box. You cock your head to the side.

“What’s wrong baby?” You sat beside him and placed your hand over his own two pair, only to have them pass through him. Your eyes are shot even wider at the what just happened. That’s not right…

“Baby?” You call out to him, using a pet name, scared to death at what’s happening. When he doesn’t answer, you start to tear up. This isn’t happening. How could this happen to you? You had no idea what was going on. You’re confused and scared and you don’t even think he can hear you.

“Kyungsoo!!” You yell out to him, dropping onto your knees in front of him, tears scarring your face, matching his own tear-stained cheeks, as you try to reach out to him. “Kyungsoo, I’m scared. Please talk to me.”

You’re looking up at his bloodshot eyes as he stares down to the velvety box. He opens it up carefully and takes out the ring hiding inside the velvet case. It’s a beautiful golden band, the head of the ring carved as a daisy with a heart shaped diamond as the centre stone.

You watch as he drops everything from his hand and bows his head in front of you. You try to touch him, his cheek, his shoulder, anywhere. You were desperate but you couldn’t without passing through him.

Instead, you reach out to him, placing your hand as close to his cheek as you possibly can. You want to hug him. You want to kiss him. You want to comfort him. You don’t understand what’s going on but you just know that you’re going to take care of him. You’ll be here for him. No matter what the problem is, you’ll be there.

You pick up the ring in your hand, placing it on his ring finger.

“I’m here… Kyungsoo, I’m here.”

Missing person Y/N last seen on January 12, 2016 on her way to a dinner date with boyfriend Do Kyungsoo declared dead a year later after reports of remains being found washed ashore.

chananyeol bong speaking: i was inspired by walking through by @theboyswhomwelove bc i love Laura’s stories lots!!! 💖💖💖

[themorningcatch]

Dana’s Korean Drama Favorites

Special thanks to the Bogum to my Taehyung, Jazzie Rivera, for ruining my life via KDramas

CHICAGO TYPEWRITER ( 시카고 타자기) From April to June 2017

Network: tvN

Number of episodes: 16

Cast: Yoo Ah In, Lim Soo Jung, Go Kyung Pyo, Kwak Si Yang, Joo Woo Jin, Yang Jin Sung

Kilig* Factor: Satisfactory. It’s there but not too in-your-face. Seju is just a total tsundere but it’s perfect because (spoiler?) it’s every fangirl’s dream to meet their idol and be able to peel back all their layers and see them for who they truly are. There’s just enough strain between them that makes you root for them but there’s also some solid, cute couple moments that I may or may not have re-watched because huhu when will I ever???

Drama Factor: SO. MUCH. ANGST. I LOVE IT. Since the plot revolves around a tragedy they can’t figure out, when more of the plot is revealed, there is so much upheaval of emotions on their part, which also affects the audience. Not too mention the main cast’s acting is no joke. Absolutely captivating. Every episode feels heavy loaded, especially the last parts. This drama made me tear up again and again because one, there’s just something about past lives that really get to me and two, the lines (thank Jin Soo Wan) and their delivery just hit home so hard. 

Love Triangle Factor: This triumvirate’s affection for each other is the only Kdrama love triangle I will recognize. Their friendship is so special and it LITERALLY transcended lifetimes. The main cast’s chemistry is endearing like they’re all going through so much but they still have each other’s backs. And you know what, I love how Seol didn’t have to pick. I mean, she sort of did, but she didn’t really. Those two boys were both hers and they knew it. Sigh, now I want to be their friend. 

Notes: it really isn’t a surprise that Chicago Typewriter is my favorite drama because the characters are writers/avid readers; there is a touch of supernatural in the plot which is always good in my books; there is amazing acting. I honestly couldn’t get over how well they did it (especially Ko Gyung Pyo who is now one of my favorites); there is a balance between sad and light scenes, all while letting the story progress; and there are really cute moments without it feeling like fan service. I just love this show. I finished it at 4 AM after no sleep and I was physically and emotionally exhausted but at the end, it made me want to sit down and write and work because that’s the kind of storytelling that I want the world to be filled; stories that make people want to claim their roles as heroes in their stories. And heroes they are, this unforgettable trio. The only thing unrealistic about this is that Seju lives in a mansion. Like, I get that he’s a writer and he’s famous, but a mansion? Really? That’s doubtful.

Rating: 10/10 (will watch again!!!)

*(The Filipino word “kilig” is untranslatable but the best description is “the feeling one gets when they experience something romantic” or “that heart fluttering feeling”; whichever suits your fancy.)

W: TWO WORLDS ( 더블유) From July to September 2016

Network: MBC

Number of episodes: 16

Cast: Lee Jong Suk, Han Hyo Joo, Jong Eu Gene, Lee Tae Hwan, Park Won Sang, Cha Kwang Soo, Kim Eui Sung

Kilig Factor: Hyo Joo and Jong Suk have impeccable chemistry and Song Jae Jung (bless her heart) doesn’t let that go to waste. There were times when I would pause the episode just to let what I saw sink in. I thought, “HOW CAN TWO PEOPLE LOOK THIS CUTE???” Some scenes were so kilig, I almost cried. Sure, it was defo fan service for all us thirsty, lonely hoes, however, it is duly appreciated. Many times I would finish an episode and just want a boyfriend because dammit, Lee Jong Suk. Some moments are a little cringe-y when you think long and hard about whether really people do that, but I’m not complaining. I’m perfectly fine with it. 

Drama Factor: Like all good dramas should, the endings that W episodes go through crush my heart. Ultimately, it was just begging for a happy ending. I didn’t think that a sci-fi/rom-com plot was capable of making me upset but I guess that’s the charm of W; that even with loss, confusion, mystery, yearning, and all those painful adjectives, you still sit tight and grip the seat to watch it all unfold. For me, W has one of the best endings ever, a satisfying close, like a sigh of relief. To be honest, when I think about W nowadays, there’s this phantom ache in my chest just because there were scenes when I just thought, “The writer did THAT.” So word of warning, watch with detachment and if not, just be careful.

Creativity Factor: In the span of 16 episodes, W managed to scissor multiple plots and be stitched together and still not confuse the hell out of me. I think that is a plus for creativity. More often than I expected, W’s story line felt different each time a problem began. It’s an absolute roller coaster with a bunch of tropes that sometimes it felt like watching a whole other show. I personally enjoy that. It felt like an adventure, although exhausting at that. But sometimes, it does do something ridiculous that reminds you, this isn’t real anyways but I forgive that for entertainment’s sake. 

Notes: Not entirely a stunning show, but a unique and imaginative one. No other drama has quite left the same impression W did with me. This was the drama I recommended the most to people. It was about creation and art as well so that appealed to me. I love the bits where Song Moo would be sketching and whatever he did started translating to reality. That must’ve been hard to shoot so I commend the director as well. W also felt quick to watch as the plot moved without dawdling too much. It was quite unrealistic and intense but still, incomparable. As for the romance, Yeon Joo and Chul = OTP. 

Rating: 9/10 (when will my life become a drama???)

GOBLIN: THE LONELY AND GREAT GOD ( 쓸쓸하고 찬란하神-도깨비) From December 2016 - January 2017

Network: tvN

Number of episodes: 16

Cast: Gong Yoo, Kim Go Eun, Lee Dong Wook, Yoo In Na, Yook Sung Jae

Kilig Factor: At first, I seriously didn’t like them because of the age difference and it was little weird that Eun Tak called him “ahjussi.” Later on, I got used to it and as their love story progressed, the more I got tangled with it. I absolutely can’t forget the part when it would rain and Eun Tak would cry hysterically and she had no clue why. That was such a powerful and poignant scene for me. Gong Yoo and Kim Go Eun are incredible actors. They could convey such deep emotions from their characters and still retain parts of that when they become quirky. With the Sunny/Grim Reaper pairing, it felt a little dragging and draining by the end, to be honest. However, there’s this certain yearning I can’t remove that I want them to end up together. I think their relationship boosted Goblin/Eun Tak’s by showing a contrast. The kind of drama with romantic scenes that made me squeal out loud. 

Drama Factor: I think there were only a few episodes I didn’t shed a tear over. The writing has this fragrant poetry structure to it that just appeals so much to a hopeless romantic like me. I know people don’t talk that way in real life but there’s just a beauty with a good string of words that can support an otherwise mediocre scene. Also, a very, very good cast. There was a lot of crying but it didn’t feel overwhelming (for me) because of how it was delivered. I think Goblin is a show I would watch if I ever doubted the supreme lightness love can bring after a dreadful storm. 

OST Factor: Unforgettable. There’s a reason that Goblin’s is one of the most famous. The roster of performers in that OST is unbelievable. It’s so well chosen, especially once it’s edited as the background for a certain scene. There’s also so much to choose from that the songs post-Goblin binge watching don’t feel sickening; more nostalgic than anything. The OST by itself captures the sweet sadness of Goblin’s story and that’s a pretty good feat for a musical score to achieve. 

Notes: Goblin was the very first Korean drama that I’ve watched properly and voluntarily. I was just really curious at first but then the cinematography, the music, the acting of this show absolutely blew me away. I think I cried majority of the time because I couldn’t believe I was watching such a well written show with representation of people who looked like me! (Asians!!!) I think that like the show’s theme of first love for the 900 year old Goblin, this was the perfect drama to show me how great K-dramas have become, and maybe I’m being eye roll worthy but it felt a little like finding a first love. I have nothing but fondness over Goblin and its clever story full of fate and twists and childlike innocence amidst the dark past they all share. And loneliness is something that is so palpable to me and seeing it suited up like this, made my heart clench and have hope. It’s wonderful like that. 

Rating: 15/10. Just watch it. It’s worth your time. 

REPLY 1988 ( 응답하라 1988) From November 2015 - January 2016

Network: tvN

Number of episodes: 20

Cast: Hyeri, Ryoo Joon Yeol, Go Kyung Pyo, Park Bo Gum, Lee Dong Hwi, Sung Dong Il, Lee Il Hwa, Ryoo Hye Young, Choi Sung Won, Kim Sung Kyun, Ra Mi Ran, Ahn Jae Hong, Kim Sun Young, Yoo Jae Myung, Choi Moo Sung, Kim Sul, Lee Min Ji, Lee Se Young

Kilig Factor: Of course I know most people don’t fall in love with their neighbors that often but this one is an exception. Romantic love wasn’t the main theme for this show however it still came through. And yes, I may be super biased when it comes to Park Bo Gum and Go Kyung Pyo and yes, them just smiling can get me riled up already BUT the love triangle presented towards the end is pretty decent and the falling-back-in-love trope with two characters is realistic and enjoyable enough. I’ve never seen a character demonstrate that kind of attitude (fiercely and stubbornly choosing their career over a relationship) before so it was quite interesting for me. There were little moments where they would reveal that this character actually liked this character, or did this for this character that would just have me punching a pillow, kicking, and screaming because dammit, that’s cute. I think it could have been better though, but as Reply 1988 isn’t solely focused on that, it’s good enough. 

Drama Factor: Okay, compared to Reply 1988, my crying in Goblin was a dripping faucet. This show had me bursting like a waterfall. It was in all those moments that felt real, so, so real, I couldn’t help but weep. It was superb how Lee Woo Jeong wrote this show with tenderhearted conversations and the absolute unfairness of life that everybody can relate to and have such an awesome cast enact it in the messy times of the 80′s and translate into something a girl like me could deeply feel. Towards the end, I cried at every episode (there was always just something that hit me so much!) and it was the kind that would start as a sob and just progress then on. Inside Reply 1988 were lessons and experiences that everybody has felt or will feel or is trying to forget that universally is the same but in a different packaging. This show, to me, is the epitome of a Korean drama, unashamed and so emotional.

Food Factor: To be honest, there were far too many times Reply 1988 made me hungry. From clams to ramyun to kimchi pancakes to fish-shaped bread, they ate everything. I do appreciate it though because it exposed what Korean culture is like and how families have a good meal with each other as an act of love. I find the putting-meat/egg/vegetable/whatever-into-someone’s-bowl gesture as a unique and  simple way of saying you favor someone. I also saw how important food is with the plot because as they go through changes, their food changed! When they were poor, they complained about side dishes. When they got older, the food they ate became different. When something good happens, there’s a whole feast. When watching this show, beware of the scrumptious dishes. I’m still looking for tteokbokki these days. 

Notes: First of all, the set design team is amazing. I didn’t feel the whole Ssamundong late 80′s vibe at first but then it felt a little like home after so many hours of looking at it. There’s a lot of things I want to complain about this show, especially how it didn’t resolve properly. There were so many things left hanging! So many relationships unexplored! So many people’s endings swept aside! I didn’t feel like it got the ending it deserved. However, this was such a heartwarming drama. I haven’t seen such a raw presentation of this kind of suburban city life anywhere and it was familiar to me. I also loved how in an episode, things will happen and at the end, there was actually one unifying theme for all of that. I can say nothing more about Reply 1988 other than it did feel like I was growing up with these kids and I was part of their rag-tag bundle of troublemakers. That’s the most important part, I think, to have your audience feel like they were a part of it all. It means art has done its job well.

Rating: 7/10. A little disappointing but still great. 

(this took me forever to make but it was fun. i might make a part two. maybe...)