#And i didnt care about any of that but it kept my dad happy

[freebooter4ever]

Lol grandma mailed me more old photos so here's proof that i was clearly always a hipster with my terribly 80s patterned red dress and leggings (also the caption written on the back of this photo is 'laura with curled hair' because my stick straight hair being curled was a big deal). And on the right a shot of me in yellow with the white headband to hold back said straight hair looking taller than everyone else at that age in basketball. My dad's in the back probably looking on disapprovingly because I have the ball and am probably about to pass it instead of shoot it (the other girls liked shooting much more than me so i let them).

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[telugu-girl-13]

it’s literally Christmas Eve but I’ve got a mega rant read it or don’t vv

why am I so different from my parents? like I’ve realized that some of my traits are a mix of theirs but we don’t share any hobbies or talents? my parents never read, they aren’t that good at English, yet literature is my thing? neither can they sing and dance, or are artistic at all, but i am? And for some reason, these differences give them an excuse to not pay attention to anything I do at all. They don’t ask what im doing, what im reading, what im dancing to in bharatanatyam, what I was painting back when I used to go to art class, what music im listening to. Even when THEY are the ones who enrolled me in those classes. All because they “don’t have time”. So they NEVER have time?? because that’s they’re excuse ALWAYS. and then my mom goes and talks about how much work she has to do, how she has to cook and clean for everyone in the house, if you want help, could you TEACH me how to do stuff instead of complaining?? (ok that was unrelated, now back on topic>)

just a few weeks ago, my mom figured out my favorite color was purple when asking me what decorations I wanted for my birthday. My dad probably knows nothing about me as well. They think I hate or im so distant to Indian culture, maybe if they asked what I was reading, they’d know that I read Aru Shah?

And the few times my parents DO try to invest in what im doing, omg, it sounds SO fake. Like yesterday when I came back from dance my mom subjected me to shopping, but does she care that I just worked my butt off physically for over an hour? And I tell her that and she’s like “if I could come to your class I would watch you for an hour” like NO THE FUCK YOU WOULDNT ?? When I tell her that she’s like “well I have nooo time do you expect me to actually do that” and laughed—then why are you FUCKING LYING TO ME. why do you think lying is the only solution to EVERYTHING and it’s the only thing that’ll make me happy? why do you LAUGH every time I want you to actually SEE me? Why can’t you TAKE ME SERIOUSLY?? Like I swear to fucking god im not a clown or a freak to laugh at all the time. Plus when I get mad at her for this shit she’s like “your just like your dad” like MF IF YOU KNEW MY DAD FOR MORE THAN ONE MONTH (she brags about it??) BECAUSE OF A FUCKING ARRANGED MARRIAGE AND DIDNT JUST MEET HIM ON A PHONE CALL SITUATED BY A MATCHMAKER YOU WOULD KNOW THAT HE HAS BIG FAT FUCKING ANGER ISSUES AND THAT THEY WOULD HAVE PASSED DOWN TO YOUR CHILDREN—that’s not my fucking fault??

And don’t even get me started on my dad because he’s lived in this country for over fifteen years yet he literally knows NOTHING about it? On Saturday it took me five whole minutes to explain to him how my friend didn’t know she was having a party (it was a surprise) so she didn’t invite anyone. And he kept interpreting it wrong like OMG it’s not hard 😭😭 and imagine this but about stuff I like, he can never and probably never will understand my hobbies.

Honestly I’m pretty sure my followers who check in on my blog every once in a WHILE know more about me than they do. other than yall, idk who else I’d talk to about this. I’m super proud of you if you read through all of that 💗💗 this entire thing was in one mega paragraph so be glad I broke it down. my mom is calling me down rn for some family shit so 👋

[fujii-draws]

had another thought about your big bad ghost dad after reading the ficlet starring him and aimilly. how much do you think dusknoir wonders about how his future would've played out if he acted differently? while most scenarios would probably end in "his untimely demise", i can see it as a subject that would plague him a bit, specifically following his post-betrayal and his se5 redemption arc. how different would it all have played it out if he was honest? if he didnt care so much about his own existence being at stake, primal dialga be damned? what if he was kind and genuine, not opting to play with the kindness bestowed upon him from the two kids who mattered to him the most, and simultaneously planning the part where he tears them apart mentally and physically after spitting that love back in their faces (even for how much he dug himself into it, and some level *understood* that it could not be that way)? what if he didnt constantly betray everyone, including himself? what if he could really be the legend everyone made out of him to be, and not just a ghastly mockery? what if he could be anyone else but himself? and for how unhealthy it would be to dwell on the past and try to look towards the future, dusknoir knows his own future beckons and calls upon him through his own demons. he has many scores to settle, too much of them to count.

Ah. About that.

Dusknoir realizing on that mountain that there was a chance of every future Pokémon reviving, regardless of altering the course of time would plague him.

He never had to harm them. He could have been there for Ribbons and Aimilios. Every step of the way. When they were finding the Hidden Land. When they traversed the daunting Tower. When he and Ribbons began to disappear in front of Aimilios momentarily, scooping up both Pokémon to reassure them everything would be okay. Knowing that he could have been there to continuously protect them. To comfort them.

…It leads to many, many sleepless nights when he’s traversing the newly healed future with Grovyle and Celebi at the start. Knowing that there was a different path he could’ve taken. That he could have kept them so close to him. That he never had to harm them why did he harm them—

Many warm, heartfelt memories he once proclaimed as ‘meaningless’ and ‘unnecessary’, are now replaying in his head over and over. Like a broken record. Sometimes even thinking of potential futures, where all three of them were still close, still happy. Still—

Even if Ribbons and Aimilios continue to live on. The wraith still has leftover blood on his hands. Stains that never wash away until years later.

(Which also, is something I thought about when making the ‘Hate’ animatic. Mainly during the point where he promises that he would have never hurt them if he could go back and change his previous actions. It’s no fucking wonder Ribbons snaps at that point. Like ‘Oh? You would have been there for me and my partner now because you know you would’ve been safe? Because now, there’s no burdening choice of being there for us when we needed you most?’ Do you have any idea how many nights I’ve heard Aimilios crying because he still misses you even after EVERYTHING you DID—‘)

(I love writing him selfishly as possible. Just. His glaring flaws despite how much of genuine, kindhearted ghost he is without the fear of being erased dangling over him 24/7. And willing to throw out his moral compass out the window just to ensure his own survival.)

But in short, Yes. It messes him up. A lot. (Hence the dark, inkblotted tears at the end of the Never Love an Anchor animatic.)(I try to use crying-Dusk as sparingly as possible but that reason you just explained right there sinnoh is the reason why he does.)(at least Celebi and Grovyle are too deep in their slumbers to witness the ghost-type’s silent tears.)

He nearly stole their futures,

Now he’ll never get to share one with them.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.3

PROLOGUE III

Another three years went by. I was getting angry nearly every day now. Maxine's daughter hadn't been to visitation day in months, the rest of my family were visiting less and less. My 18th birthday came and went and I was not admitted. Nothing happened for my 19th or my 20th. Nothing was happening. By then i had lost hope entirely. I could feel myself slipping. After that day where I had nearly killed the volunteer Shaw took me as his own little project. He kept me all hours of the night at times. I would throw fits and try to lunge at Shaw, I was completely blinded by rage towards him and often tried to use my powers on him, to do something, anything to him. I just wanted him to hurt the way he was making me hurt. 

They blamed it on my loss of control on my mutation. I didn't care anymore, I would lash out and only when the thought of tearing him limb from limb flashed across my crazed mind would I snap back into reality. After going at him several times, only ever getting to the point of nosebleeds and short term suffocation, they began putting a shock collar on me any time I was near him, so that they would be able to do any actual harm. Nevertheless my hostility towards the scientists only grew. Which was why my parents visited less. Shaw had notified them of my condition and warned them against seeing me so often. This only made me even more livid. 

“You don't look so good.” Ellie said. She was the only one who came to this visitation day. She had turned 18 just a couple months ago. I wished I could have been there. She pointed at the dark circles under my eyes. My hair was down past my shoulder blades now, the ends dead and dry. The whole of it was tangled and ruffled. 

“I haven't been sleeping much.” I said. I didn't want to worry her and tell her about the doctors keeping me all night nearly every day now. “Just jitters I guess.”

“May, are you ok?” she asked, taking my hand “you know that you don't have to stay here. I could try and get you out. Mom and Dad wouldn't be happy but they'd get over it.”

“You know better Ellie. They wouldn't let me come home.” Ellie frowned and looked away. 

My parents had unofficially given up hope just as much as I had. They hadn't said so but it seemed clear that they didnt think I would be able to get rid of my mutation, especially with the tantrums i had been throwing. The last time they had visited, which was months before, had seemed very much like goodbye. 

Somehow things were worse for lou. I could barely recognize her these days. Her eyes were sunken and her long shiny black hair seemed dull and thin. Her stripes stood out even starker against her skin that was going yellow from her poor health. She didn't eat much, didn't speak much. Any time I saw her my gut twisted with worry. 

Lou's mother didnt contact her ever again after that day a year ago. She had received notice though that her mother had moved across the country and would not be returning. She kept her head up for a little but could only pretend for so long. 

Recently kids had been dying. Mostly from surgeries, sometimes some kid would find an innovative new way to kill themself. Things were most definitely not happy, if they ever were.

The scientist had been testing out different things on the kids, electricity was a trend but there were other things like pouring water up peoples noses while they hung upside down instead of a shock when they used their powers. 

Lou came into the room looking much better than she normally did. 

“What's going on?” I immediately asked, knowing something was up.

“Doctor Schmidt says he knows how to fix me.” she said, I almost saw her smile. My heart broke. I knew he was lying. He always said this. I used to always believe him but then i learned. Seeing the almost smile on Lou's face I couldn't bear to tell her it wasnt gonna work. A little part of me maybe hoped she was right. That maybe he did know how to fix her this time

“That's amazing” I said and went out to hug her. She was thinner than she used to be, I could feel her shoulder blades poke out as she reached around to hug me back. 

The next day at breakfast I waited for Lou but she didn't come. “Doctor Harrison?” I asked one of the scientists in the halls “Where is Lou?"

“Didn't you hear? She's having her corrective surgery today. She's in the surgical room, I believe they start in an hour or so.” she said to me

My heart stopped. Surgeries were a big no. I thought lou knew this. They never work. A kid is lucky if they do mutation corrective surgery and return with a fucked body but with their life intact. I thanked Doctor Harrison before running off to the Medical hall. I peaked in each of the windows, she should have still been in consultation with an hour to go. Once I spotted her, I noticed Shaw in the seat across from her holding out a chart where he pointed at parts of a body chart where I assumed they would be cutting her open. He then pulled up a photograph of a brain and pointed at different sections with his pen. Lou swallowed but nodded at him. After that he pulled out the form. Surprisingly, these surgeries were completely consensual, only kids who were desperate to be rid of their mutation and go home ever consented but that was unfortunately common. Either that or they just didn't care if they lived or not, they thought they'd give it at least one more shot and if they didn't make it then oh well. Apparently Lou was at this point. Shaw handed her the pen he had been using to point at where they would be cutting, so that she could sign the consent form. I leaned on the door and pushed it open with a loud bang. 

“Lou!” I yelled at her. She whipped towards me confused. Doctor Shaw stood and came forward to push me out. “Lou don't! You know it wont work! You'll die!” I screamed. Her face crumpled as Shaw yelled at me to leave.

“Lou, just sign the papers,” another doctor said to her. She looked over to him, scared and unsure. I pushed against Shaw and used my powers to push him against the far wall, away from me. Lou took the pen and placed it against the paper. My other hand came up to use my powers on her arm. Shaw was gasping against the wall but I couldn't care less. 

Lou looked at me with an angry expression that surprised me. I had never seen Lou angry before. I was the angry one, she was the sad one, the desperate one. Now that was me, and she was angry.

“You promised you would never use your powers on me.” she scowled. My mind flashed to when I first met her, it was brief and didn't seem trivial but I remember clearly. I had promised. “Please lou, I don't want to lose you.”

“ I don't care anymore, May. I'm sorry I just don't care about anything. I need it gone or I need to be gone.” she said. Her voice did not waver like mine did. Tears slipped down my cheeks 

“Now let me go,” she said firmly. 

Finally, hesitantly I let her go. She took a deep breath before signing the papers. I let Shaw slip down the wall, he gasped for air. Lou stood from her seat and pushed passed me out the door into the hall. My hands dropped and my mind reeled again. Snot and tears slipped down my face and I stood jaw slack. 

Before I knew it I was back in bed. Still, tears sliding down my face. I knew the surgery would last over night but I also knew that Lou would not survive. That when she had pushed into the hall was the last time I would ever see her. I cried all night. Thinking about how stupid everything was. Why was I even there? Nothing was even working, I realized that the only reason I hadn't tried to leave was because of lou. With that thought I cried even more until the sun came up and I closed my eyes and let myself slip away. 

The next morning they told me Lou hadn't made it. The parts of her brain that Had been cut out had caused her entire system to shut down. I thought of how maybe if I had tried I could have reached out and felt her blood as it stopped. Maybe I could have tried to help her even though I was nowhere near her. I didn't have any water in me left to cry so I only sat in bed and refused to go to my appointments. The day passed in a blink. It felt like it had only been an hour by the time the sun was setting again. I felt sick to my stomach and numb all over. The only thing that kept me sane was the plans I had to leave in the next few days. I would have to figure out a way out but I could do it. Especially now that I knew I could use my powers on two people at once. 

The next day Schmidt visited me. On any other day I would have attacked him. I would have been so angry I could have killed him. All that was left inside me was grief. 

“I know that you won't be staying here after this.” he said as he sat down on lous bed across from mine. “But I can't just let you go can I.” 

This did cause a small spark of anger in me that if anything I was relieved to feel

“I have… a proposition. I'm no longer going to be working on these kids.”

I looked up in confusion. What about the kids who still hoped for a cure. Some kids didn't have a home to go to. Without shaw they would be left on the streets and in danger.

“I want you to come with me.” He said

“What are you talking about? What about all the kids here?” I asked. He moved from off the bed to kneel closer to me. I shrank back from him as he put his hands half way up my thighs

“They don't matter.The truth is may, this experiment wasn't for me to get rid of your powers, it was to find who was the most powerful. You have exceeded expectations in every regard. You could be very useful to me. Why don't you let me put your deformities to use huh? Since you can't get rid of them you could at least be helpful in this way.”

I choked on shock. All of this was for nothing. I had been scammed out of so many years of my life and all I had been given in return was pain and trauma. Lou had died, and for what? They weren't even trying to fix her?

“What?” I spat “Lou, she… she died and why?”

“We were testing something on her, trying to enhance her powers. We wanted to know if we could find the source of her mutation and if we could possibly add more powers to her already existing one. She was promising, her mind was willing for just about anything to make her worth something, she was the most likely to be receptive to the surgery.” He looked down. “It's a shame that it went wrong.”

I wasn't as angry as I would usually be. I wished I was angry instead I was just hurt and defeated. So many people were here in hopes that they would get better, and the whole thing was a big lie. People had died here. My stomach lurched again. 

“May, my offer…?

My mind wandered to my family. Although Ellie loved me she could not take on the responsibility of me if I went back to them. I couldn't rob her of a normal life. And what would I do if I couldn't go back to them? Would I live on the streets like the rest of the children here would be forced to do? 

“I can't even do that much, I can only hold people for a little bit and after that it hurts too much.” an excuse. I was pulling at straws, trying to convince him not to make me decide

‘It'll go away, and we can train you. I have a hunch that your abilities go beyond what we've been able to explore here. Think of all the good you could do! You don't want to waste your potential do you?”

I thought for a moment. This was all too much. I couldn't think straight. I didn't want to make a mistake that I would regret. Something in my stomach lurched. Looking down at my hands I swallowed and held back my tears. He probably did this on purpose. Do it while my grief is still fresh so that I wouldn't be able to think clearly. Little did he know the freshness of Lou’s death was the one thing keeping me thinking clearly. If he had asked me these things a week ago I would have been so furious that I would have gone into a fit of rage and need to be detained again. But somehow I could see myself going with him. I was so sick of being in this stupid institution that I might have gone with him with the hopes of reversing years of trauma and uncertainty. He could teach me how to use my powers. But then I knew better. Schmitd had been part of the reason Lou was dead now and I wouldn't go with him no matter how desperate I was. I realized that going with Schmidt meant I would be trading one prison for another. Something I don't think I could do again. I had spent more than four years here. From 14 to 18, would it be smart to go for who knows how long with someone who said he'd help me but didn't even know what I was doing this whole time. This whole thing had felt like a hoax and I felt like vomiting when the truth of that statement was suddenly confirmed. 

“Well?” Schmidt interrupted my thoughts. His eyes were earnest. He really did want me to come and that made my response all the more satisfying.

“No.” 

Schmidt stumbled. His mouth opened and closed once or twice before he took his hand off my leg and stood up. His arms folded and a look came over his face.

“I'm going to ask you to reconsider.”

“No.” I said again “There is absolutely zero chance of me changing my mind.” 

He shook his head and looked out the window in the door towards the hall briefly before sighing and saying “ok.”

Ok?? I was confused. I thought he would put up more of a fight than that. I thought he would at least try and convince me even if I said he couldn't. He was smarter than trying to force me to though. He knew I could kill him if I wanted and he wouldn't put it above me. I wouldn't either. There had been many times when I'd thought of killing him. But he just turned and left the room quietly. I sat there for a while, shocked, but grateful. I felt like for the first time I had made a choice for myself and people had actually listened to me. I almost cried. It felt so good. The next day I would leave this all behind me. I would be free to make my own choices. I could use my powers when I wanted. I could try and see what new things I could do without Shaws or anyone's help. 

I laid down that night in bed feeling more hope for the future than I ever had. Suddenly my life was about more than my mutation and getting rid of it. It could be about anything I wanted. 

I awoke to voices in my room and someone lifting me out of bed. My eyes shot open only to be met by a bright light that disoriented me. I felt the blood of at least 5 different people in the room and I tried to reach for them all to stop moving so that I could make sense of everything but nothing happened since I was so underprepared. The cold hard metal of my shock collar encased my neck. Then I knew what was happening. I screamed and focused on the arms of the people closest to me. They froze but the collar was already clamped shut. I pushed those people back and shot out of bed, eyes crazed and flying wildly at the shadows in my room. Suddenly the shock went off. A shock stronger than I had ever experienced before. My muscles failed and I fell to my knees and seized up my entire body jerking. I couldn't breathe, the immense pain taking my breath away. Sweat formed on my face and trickled down my neck. The shock collar started burning up around my neck and if I had not been completely out of control of my body I would have clawed at it as it seared my skin. Steam rose from my neck as my sweat dripped on the blistering metal. Suddenly the shock stopped and I fell to the ground gasping and eyes rolling. 

Schmidt stepped forward. The light shone on him showed the lines on his face and lit up his eyes. He looked like a maniac, with murder in his eyes he crouched down next to me.

“You are coming with me and because of me you will finally be useful to society. Grab her”

The next thing I knew I was being scooped up and supported by both my arms by two figures who I'd never seen before, too weak to fight back or use my powers. My feet dragged behind me as my head lolled and soon I blacked out, unable to stay conscious. 

FINALLY WERE DONE WITH PROLOGUE!! IT WAS MORE DETAILED THAN I MEANT FOR IT TO BE BUT OH WELL!! Sorry for literally giving you SO MUCH to read

[standard-human]

hey, i just need to get this out there.

matpat has been one of the biggests influences on my life. i remember my first theory very specifically- the bendy theory about max fleisher. and it was good. it was really good. it took my interest in a game, taught me about real history, and made me laugh. but most importantly, it gave me an escape. at that point, my dad and i were living in a crappy one bedroom apartment. he had to work so much, he barely got to spend any time with me. i didnt really have a father figure for a year or two there. but then, heres this guy online who talks about video games i like while making bad jokes and teaching me something. i remember that for a solid month after i watched the rosalina theories, i was obsessed with punnett squares. i learned, i laughed, and i felt like there was something i could go to every week to feel like i was cared about. eventually, my dad got better hours and could hang out with me, but i still kept coming back to the theories. this channel was my happy place. if i was having a bad day, id rewatch the mario series or the fnaf playlists, or sometimes id just pull up the until dawn theory. that was always one of my favorites. now that im older, my dependence on theories has lessened, but i still watch every video. even when i have a bad day now, i go back and laugh at sans is ness. im definitely gonna stick around, but im never gonna forget the father figure of my childhood

so, i guess what im trying to say is this: thank you matthew. thank you so much for everything youve done over the years, and thank you for making my life better. im truly proud to be a theorist.

[marianomoreno]

vin @opalsnake tagged me to answer 15 questions and then tag what's most likely to be like five or six but are supposed to also be 15. i love u

1. are you named after anyone?

nope my parents just wanted a name that had no religious meaning and preferably was nature themed short and not corny. they didnt know about that virgin and we dont care either im literally just named dew.

2. when was the last time you cried?

yesterday reading the first couple pages of Nicaragua, tan violentamente dulce mr cortázar i love you i miss you i wouldve done undisclosed drugs with you and kept you alive forever

3. do you have kids?

no and i dont want any

4. what sports do you play/have played?

i took volleyball as my PE elective in secondary school uuuuhh im not a very sporty person i never have been

5. do you use sarcasm often?

yes often but it's not my favourite resource

6. what is the first thing you notice about someone?

the words they use and their laugh and also how they feel about physical touch

7. eye colour?

dark brown but my right eye is a bit lighter which i think is a fun little bit of information it IS noticeable but you wouldnt notice if i didnt tell you

8. scary movies or happy endings?

i dont really like either :( but scary movies

9. any talents?

i'm GOOD at writing i am a good writer. and im a good singer, and im generally more or less quick with music (playing and listening, not dance which requires coordination which is something im terrible at), i'm also more or less quick at languages. and im pretty flexible too. and im a great cook tbh terrible baker tho

10. where were you born?

buenos aires (malos tiempos para hacerte una canción)

11. hobbies?

i like reading, writing, singing, watching movies, walking, every once in a while drawing, scrapbooking, at a time i did knitting and macrame, cooking, playing platform games :P

12. any pets?

three cats, one at my dad's house (murciégala who's a perpetual jumpy teenager) and two at my mum's (clarita who is basically a stuffed animal just wants to be held feeds on love and is by now a thousand years old, and berta who is hyperactive and SO smart and lately sooooo into getting pet)

13. height?

1,53cm

14. favourite school subject?

historyyyy history history history liked it so much i kept going. also literature, sociology, solidary action (?), and art.

15. dream job?

writing well paid opinion pieces wouldnt that be amazing. literary translator too omg literally the dream... Researcher in the field of History ofc 🧐 this changes every day though.

im gonna tag @caminadrummer @nickcutler @sufranstevens @dickotomia @cuatrotrece @laloslayamanca @eliasdrid

[yoonyia]

I'm going to draw ender as a dad and no one can stop me

he is aroace but he loves his wife a lot

he calls her his wife but they're just co parents that screw eachother sometimes

ender is aroace in the way that he feels no romantic or sexual attraction but if someone wants him to show physical or romantic affection he does cause he really dosent care

he knows how to walk in high heels

this isn't my idea but my friend kept asking me if novinha was smoking hot and the more I think about it she probably is

ender and novinha are like total opposites and everyone is confused how they even agreed to get married

everyone knows that novinha was the one that wanted to marry him and ender is just along for the ride

ender is generally liked in lustainia

ender is a great cook but he can't sew at all

novinha is competitive about her cooking and she hates that ender is often times objectively better at cooking complicated dishes then her but enjoys the food

I want them to be healthy and loving as possible ok let me be

novinha has a lot of needs and I feel like ender is the only person in the universe to ever meet all of them

and even he eventually falls short when something out of his control happened

AND LIKE THIS MAN IS 60 AND HE WENT AND PICKED UP HIS 40 YEAR OLD CHILD FROM A TREE

gosh I love ender

I dont like this headcanon of mine but for me I have this really strong need to stick to the Canon and make sense of the things are said in the Canon so

OK SO WHEN HE WAS IN THE SHIP AND THIS GIRL WAS TRYNA FLIRT WITH HIM AND HE WAS LIKE "I admit I was attracted to her, but I simply cannot love someone" AND LIKE I KNOW ITS NOT HOW AROACE EXACTLY WORKS BUT I THINK SOME OF HIS RELATIONSHIP TOWARDS ATTRACTION WAS FUCKED UP CAUSE OF TRAUMA AND THE IDEA OF "I don't deserve to feel love and happiness" AND THAT JUST MADE HIM LOOSE ALL INTEREST AS A HALF CONSCIOUS TRAUMA RESPONSE

LIKE I THINK HE NEVER HAD ANY DESIRE TO GO THROUGH WITH HIS VAGUE ATTRACTION (he himself says that several times) BUT I THINK THE REASON HE LOST ALL INTEREST IS BECAUSE HE JUST DIDNT THINK HE DESERVED IT AND OVER TIME HIS BRAIN JUST LOST THE CHEMICAL RESPONSE

I KNOW THIS IS PROBABLY HIGHLY INACCURATE AND IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER TO JUST CONSIDER ENDER IN EXILE AS FANFICTION THAT NEVER HAPPENED BUT I NEED IT TO MAKE SENSE ANYWAYS

miro and grego looks exactly the same

both of them are offended at this fact

no one asked me to share these headcanons I just had too

I haven't even shared half of my headcanons

I shared like 3%

this series and jekyll and hyde is my life and I'm not happy about it

more people need to talk about virolomi

AND ALSO SURIYAWONG???

NO ONE IS TALKING ABOUT THE I LEND YOU A KNIFE LINE????

SERIOUSLY?

AND GIVE MORE CONTENT FOR PETRA

LIKE THE WOMEN IN THIS STORY IS AWESOME WHY DO PEOPLE TALK ABOUT MIRO MORE THEN JANE

SISTER CORALTA? (I forgot how to spell her name but you know who I'm talking about) SHES LIKE MY 5TH FAVORITE CHARACTER??? AFTER ENDER VAL PETER AND JANE

LIKE I FOUND 0 STUFF TALKING ABOUT HER

I WAS SO UPSET

as a person who dosent get faith her character was so interesting even when I had no idea what she was saying

LIKE THATS GOOD WRITING PEOPLE

I CARED ABOUT HER WITHOUT RELATING TO HER

AKDJDOSNDIJEJD

I'm in a car and I just woke up from an hour and a half long rode trip nap I'm so sorry if I made no sense

[fictionkinfessions]

for the canon deetz:

childe: favorite food waz raw meat, and liked eating nazty ztuff in front of other people to freak then out, he zaw lyney and lynette az hiz couzinz. he loved having out with pierro becauze pierro waz the only one that could zpeak khanrien and would zpeak about what lif waz really like down there. he had low vizion and he and columbina bonded over that and alzo being gozzipz. he had the power of the abyzz which meant that at the lazt ztatue he prayed to, he would pick up the abilitiez off. alzo he waz down a leg, but he juzt conztantly kept in hiz half foul legacy form to create a hydro/abyss construct that functioned much like a real leg. thiz alzo had the added affect of making him zeem taller and older then he actually waz. punk waz like biologically zixteen but looked like 22.

dottore: would alwayz play really lound muzic in hiz lab, waz a real zoftie for kidz even if he didnt zeem like it. he zaw the fatui az hiz family, with the hearth kidz az hiz neicez and nephewz. he and columbina would zneak off to do expirimentz with eachother, and they liked to dizzect animalz together. he loved fruitz, and would never get mad at me even if i mezzed up hiz expirimentz. i kinda zaw him az a parental figure, but only zlightly.

columbina: the biggezt gozzip, and had pet pidgeonz zhe trained to fly around and annoy people az well az deliver mezzagez. zhe alzo zaw the hearth kidz az her own becauze of her connection to arleccino, and waz the zweet one that would get them giftz and ztuff. zhe waz preatty blind, and zhe and child bonded over it. zhe waz alzo big friendz with zandrone az well az zignora. oh and zhe had a hydro vizion and a geo delution.

zucroze: zhe waz dottorez daughter, relaly nice girl. it waz zo funny watching her interat with normal people and with the fatui family, zhe would go from thiz zazzy girl with few wordz to a ztuttering mezz. zhez actually not that zhy, zhe juzt hatez new people and getz really zcared by them. childe, her, and the hearth kidz all zaw eachother az couizinz. her favorite color waz mint, becuaze her dadz heair was mint, and her favorite flavour waz coffe. zhe loved coffe to an unhealthy amount. zhe liked me, and would try to get me to ztop doing dum thingz. zhe zucceded half the time. i maybe zaw her az a zizter figure.

arleccino: zhe really wanted the hearth kidz to be happy and trained, zo zhe puzhed them. they all knew it waz becauze zhe cared for them, though. zhe adored tea and would judge you if you didnt make tea the right way. zhe waz alwayz cold and liked to uze columbina as a heater. zhe hated dogz, and loved catz a lot more. her catz were viziouce though, they zcarred me for life. zhe alzo lovez cake, but not any other baked good.

zandrone: zhe waz a genuiz and waz the one who made the cathrine dollz, af courze with my input. zhe rezpected all of her creationz, and treated them like people. zhe couldn't walk, but zhe found wayz to work around that az well az making the place more accezible for thoze who came after. zhe loved orangez, az well az thingz like cinnamon.

pantalone: idiot rich guy waz really annoing, but he had heart. he juzt had weird wayz of exprezzing it. zhe really had the mozt terrible handwriting, az well az the bezt accuracy for throwing thingz. it waz almozt a zuperpower, the way that zhe would throw a can and it would nail childe perfectly on the head. he waz a zimp for dottore though. he got threated zooo much by dottorez kid when zhe found aout about the two of them, even though zucroze waz uzually really zweet.

pierro: he waz like that weird dad wrangling the abzolute toddlerz that were ther ezt of teh harbingerz. he really licked tea partiez, and would have them with the tzaritza and pulcinella, az well az with childe. i think that he waz kaeyaz grandpa or zomething, i dont know. he hated zunny dayz, zaid hiz eyez were too zenzative. he knew a bazillion languagez, he would zpeak inazumen to me to imporve hiz zkillz. he waz actually kinda nice. but i would never let him know that, he already haz half the other harbingerz zeeing him az a parental figure, and i alredy have dottore.

zhogun: my beloved zizter. they hated zweetz, aand loved cold thingz. they ended up making a hollow body for ei and zeperating themzelf from her, gainig a cryo vizion on the procezz, az well az cutting their hair, a move they ztole from me. when they were under ei'z thumb, we would zecretly zend letterz to eachother, and we kept in contact. they hated zuper ztrong falvourz, and adored eatcing edible thingz. they were horrible at zocial interaction, and got along well with dottore, zucroze, zandrone, and arleccino, who took them under her wing.

pulcinella: the old zhort guy. zhild looked up to him, but not me lol. he really liked animalz, and would alwayz pet them. zhe waz like a zemi grandparen figure and loved zeeing the kidz at the houzez of the hearth. he was like an empath in that he woudl alwayz know if zomething waz up, and waz almozt like a therapizt type guy. he pierro and tzarizta were the three guardianz of teh group, and they becaume cloze becauze of it.

zignora: her firzt language waz mond, and zhe woudl curze under her breath in it whenever zhe got too mad. zhe waz zoo up to date ith fazionz and the like, zhe would alwayz be wearing the hot new look. girl would not get over her dead huzband, but her and dottore and pantalone had a thing going on, i waznt invloved that much. zhe had a cyro delution, but no vizion. actually i think zhe had an anemo vizion but never uzed it becauze zhe didnt like it. zhe actually had annoying zenzory izzuez. alzo zhe totally lived, juzt took a zecond to regenerate and heal.

capitano: he waz weird, and part liyuen. all the lakeyz adored him, and alwayz tried to be in hiz coumpany. of courze once zomebody waz under a harbinger, they would really get attatched to them. however mr boatguy took it even further, knowing bazically everybody. nobody ever zaw hiz face, but he adored flowerz and could name bazically every zingle flower ever. he played the violin, and waz really good at it. zometime you could catchi him playing out in the garden. him and child had a whole weird cruzh/zparring partnerz thing going on.

tzarizta: zhe waz bazically the bezt leader anybody could azk for. zhe knew uz all intimatly well, and basically evrybody adored her. rightfully zo of courze. zhe made zchneznaya the zafezt place ever, az well az zuper duper accezible. like, if you were dizabled in any way, zcheznaya had your back. zure it may zeem werid, to outziderdz, the culture there, but ti waz ztrong. zhe loved rozez, and would have tea partiez with pierro and pulcinna to drink firewhizky out of dainty cupz and gozzip. zhe had a whole thing with a bunch of other archonz, and yeah zhe waz planning a rebellion. zhe loved evrybodyz talentz, adn woudl collect thingz for them. zhe loved rozez and berriez and thinga that were red (her faveorite color)

zorry about rambling, thiz azk brought up memoriez. i mizz them lmao.

zcaramouche (#sunflop)

For the canon deets:

Childe: favorite food was raw meat, and liked eating nasty stuff in front of other people to freak then out, he saw lyney and lynette as his cousins. he loved having out with pierro because pierro was the only one that could speak khanrien and would speak about what life was really like down there. he had low vision and he and columbina bonded over that and also being gossips. he had the power of the abyss which meant that at the last statue he prayed to, he would pick up the abilities off. also he was down a leg, but he just constantly kept in his half foul legacy form to create a hydro/abyss construct that functioned much like a real leg. this also had the added affect of making him seem taller and older then he actually was. punk was like biologically sixteen but looked like 22.

Dottore: would always play really loud music in his lab, was a real softie for kids even if he didn't seem like it. he saw the fatui as his family, with the hearth kids as his nieces and nephews. he and columbina would sneak off to do experiments with each other, and they liked to dissect animals together. he loved fruits, and would never get mad at me even if i messed up his experiments. i kinda saw him as a parental figure, but only slightly.

Columbina: the biggest gossip, and had pet pigeons she trained to fly around and annoy people as well as deliver messages. she also saw the hearth kids as her own because of her connection to arleccino, and was the sweet one that would get them gifts and stuff. she was pretty blind, and she and child bonded over it. she was also big friends with sandrone as well as signora. oh and she had a hydro vision and a geo dilution.

Sucrose: she was dottores daughter, really nice girl. it was so funny watching her interact with normal people and with the fatui family, she would go from this sassy girl with few words to a stuttering mess. shes actually not that shy, she just hates new people and gets really scared by them. childe, her, and the hearth kids all saw each other as cousins. her favorite color was mint, because her dads hair was mint, and her favorite flavor was coffee. she loved coffee. to an unhealthy amount. she liked me, and would try to get me to stop doing dumb things. she succeeded half the time. i maybe saw her as a sister figure.

Arleccino: she really wanted the hearth kids to be happy and trained, so she pushed them. they all knew it was because she cared for them, though. she adored tea and would judge you if you didn't make tea the right way. she was always cold and liked to use columbina as a heater. she hated dogs, and loved cats a lot more. her cats were vicious though, they scarred me for life. she also loves cake, but not any other baked good.

Sandrone: she was a genius and was the one who made the cathrine dolls, of course with my input. she respected all of her creations, and treated them like people. she couldn't walk, but she found ways to work around that as well as making the place more accessible for those who came after. she loved oranges, as well as things like cinnamon.

Pantalone: idiot rich guy was really annoying, but he had heart. he just had weird ways of expressing it. she really had the most terrible handwriting, as well as the best accuracy for throwing things. it was almost a superpower, the way that she would throw a can and it would nail childe perfectly on the head. he was a simp for dottore though. he got threatened sooo much by dottores kid when she found about about the two of them, even though sucrose was usually really sweet.

Pierro: he was like that weird dad wrangling the absolute toddlers that were the rest of the harbingers. he really licked tea parties, and would have them with the tsaritsa and pulcinella, as well as with childe. i think that he was kaeyas grandpa or something, i don't know. he hated sunny days, said his eyes were too sensitive. he knew a bazillion languages, he would speak inasumen to me to improve his skills. he was actually kinda nice. but i would never let him know that, he already has half the other harbingers seeing him as a parental figure, and i already have dottore.

Shogun: my beloved sister. they hated sweets, and loved cold things. they ended up making a hollow body for ei and separating themselves from her, gaining a cryo vision on the process, as well as cutting their hair, a move they stole from me. when they were under ei's thumb, we would secretly send letters to each other, and we kept in contact. they hated super strong flavors, and adored eating edible things. they were horrible at social interaction, and got along well with dottore, sucrose, sandrone, and arleccino, who took them under her wing.

Pulcinella: the old short guy. shild looked up to him, but not me lol. he really liked animals, and would always pet them. she was like a semi grandparent figure and loved seeing the kids at the houses of the hearth. he was like an empath in that he would always know if something was up, and was almost like a therapist type guy. he pierro and tsarista were the three guardians of the group, and they became close because of it.

Signora: her first language was mond, and she would curse under her breath in it whenever she got too mad. she was soo up to date with fashions and the like, she would always be wearing the hot new look. girl would not get over her dead husband, but her and dottore and pantalone had a thing going on, i wasn't involved that much. she had a cyro delusion, but no vision. actually i think she had an anemo vision but never used it because she didn't like it. she actually had annoying sensory issues. also she totally lived, just took a second to regenerate and heal.

Capitano: he was weird, and part liyuen. all the ladies adored him, and always tried to be in his company. of course once somebody was under a harbinger, they would really get attached to them. however mr boat guy took it even further, knowing basically everybody. nobody ever saw his face, but he adored flowers and could name basically every single flower ever. he played the violin, and was really good at it. sometime you could catch him playing out in the garden. him and child had a whole weird crush/sparring partners thing going on.

Tsarista: she was basically the best leader anybody could ask for. she knew us all intimately well, and basically everybody adored her. rightfully so of course. she made schnesnaya the safest place ever, as well as super duper accessible. like, if you were disabled in any way, schesnaya had your back. sure it may seem weird, to outsiders, the culture there, but ti was strong. she loved roses, and would have tea parties with pierro and pulcinna to drink firewhisky out of dainty cups and gossip. she had a whole thing with a bunch of other archons, and yeah she was planning a rebellion. she loved everybody talents, and would collect things for them. she loved roses and berries and things that were red (her favorite color)

Sorry about rambling, this ask brought up memories. i miss them lmao.

Scaramouche (#sunflop)

[maerinhearts]

I need a safe space to talk about something in my life.

TW: Death

In February 2015, my paternal grandmother passed away. A lot of my family assumed my grandfather would follow soon after, but he didn't. I was at college in Pennsylvania when it happened, and my older sister, along with my grandfather, got in the car the very next morning to come pick me up for the funeral. I was very close with my grandmother so that was really hard on me.

In May of 2015, on my 20th birthday, I went to visit my grandfather as I had just gotten home from college and wanted to spend time with him. My grandma always kept track of the birthdays for grandpa, so I didn't expect to get a "Happy Birthday" or anything like that. However, he told me on that day that if shooting himself in the head wasn't a one-way ticket to Hell, he would do it. But he can't, because my grandma is in Heaven and he wants to be with her.

I'm sure you can guess how much that hurt.

I distanced myself pretty far after that without really realizing it. Plus, I have an older brother that I have not spoken to since late 2015 for certain reasons and they always took his side, even though he was in the wrong. That's a story for another day though. I always felt ostracized and like I didn't matter much to that side of my family so I distanced myself even more.

In February of 2019, my paternal aunt revealed that she had Metastatic Breast Cancer, stage 4. It had spread to her lymph nodes, her joints and her lungs. We weren't sure how long she had, but I vowed to spend as much time as I could with her. Then COVID happened. She loved camping. So the summer of 2020, when things started opening back up, I started going camping again so that I could see her. And in October of 2020, she passed away when the cancer spread to her brain. Her death was hard for me, I was very close to her as a child.

In May of 2021, my older sister and i received a phone call that my father was dying. He had Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and had been in a nursing home for 10 years. The nursing home stopped caring for him and he was starving by the time he got to the hospital. He could barely talk anymore, and he was a choke risk. The doctor gave us two choices that my sister and I had to make as his next of kin: permanent feeding tube surgery that he had a 5% chance of surviving or moving him into hospice and letting him die peacefully. We chose hospice. I won't go into full detail about the whole thing as his death was very traumatic for me, but he passed in June of 2021.

My grandfather has disowned me god knows how many times for not talking to him while grieving. And I can't imagine how it must have felt to lose your wife and all your children. But we were grieving too. He said some hateful things to me over the years. But even then, when he got rushed to the hospital on the evening of January 14th, I was worried. And I rushed to the hospital on the 15th to see him. His kidneys were failing and he was actively starving due to a mass partially obstructing his esophagus. He had stopped eating completely because he started choking. But he didn't tell any of us. He was rushed to the ER because my baby cousin found him collapsed on the floor. He got out of the hospital later that week and into a nursing home for physical therapy. But he just kept getting worse and worse....

We rushed him to the ER last Tuesday morning, January 31st. We needed him to have emergency feeding tube surgery. Only to find out that he didn't have long left. It was rough... we didn't get moved to a room in the hospital until 4 AM on the 1st. My sister and I didnt get any sleep that night. And we moved him into Hospice at 3 PM later that day... where we spent the next 4 days with him.

He passed at 1:58 AM this morning, February 5th, and I feel fucking lost. So lost. My dad's entire family is gone, and I'm only 27. His last day of consciousness was spent yelling at me about anything because he wasn't sane anymore. I got yelled at about flowers on the floor (there were no flowers) and I got yelled at for not holding his hand.

I'm so exhausted. I'm tired. I'm tired of the people around me dying. I don't want to go plan his funeral tomorrow. I can't say goodbye to the last living link I had to my father. And it didn't help that the situations were similar and they looked the exact same laying unconscious in that bed...

And no one understands how I feel. My sister and two cousins might, but honestly, none of them have the same views on death as I do and none of them understand any of how I have felt for the last 8 years alone. This fucking sucks. I had to driving home at 3:00 this morning after getting all my stuff packed up. I cried the whole way home. I watched him take his last breath and yet it doesn't feel like any of it has happened at all.

I know that people have probably been through something similar, but I just can't help but wonder why me? I'm just fucking tired...

[shrug-em0ji]

had not intended to readmorepost but this is long and rambly and has some sensitive stuff i think?

i mentioned to my coworkers the other day that my mom was a pathological liar (it was relevant, i promise) and neither of them dug for further details but i got caught in this loop of wanting to explain and justify it, probably because its a thing that i used to do a LOT and have only recently gotten better about. but i was thinking about like. why people lie. and my mom and i in particular. and about how when you are hurt profoundly, especially over a prolonged period of time, in ways that people cant see and often dont acknowledge as being worthy of consideration, it becomes really easy to just. fudge the details a little bit. add in an extra pinch of violence. make it sound just a little worse so that when people react their response is proportional to how you felt rather than to what happened.

i have a story that i have often used as an example of the things that happened a lot when i was growing up - i was supposed to be cleaning my room, but i was a kid, and i was bored and overwhelmed by the mess, so i sat down on the floor, on a pile of clothes, and spent 45 minutes daydreaming about my toys coming to life and helping me. when my dad came upstairs to check on me and saw that i hadnt cleaned at all, he got really angry and picked up a little armchair that i had in my room and threw it at my wall hard enough to leave a decently big hole.

for a long time, when i told this story, i said that he threw the chair at me and missed, that i didnt hear him come in, that i had been working and he just wasnt happy with how far id gotten. and i used to get really angry at myself for lying about it - obviously, if im lying to make it sound worse it must not have been that bad, im making a huge deal out of nothing, theres no reason for this to even be a thing that i tell anyone ever. but it was the opposite. i was on the floor, in the only place that i felt safe or like i had any modicum of control over, and someone who was supposed to care for me came in, towered over me, made me feel small and helpless, and then intentionally picked up a large heavy object and threw it across the room because he knew it would scare me. he wanted me to be very very aware at all times how big and strong and angry he was, and how helpless i was to stop him. "even in this safe quiet space that is yours i can break your stuff and hurt you, you are not really safe here at all, i am always in control"

but like!!! i was a kid!!! i didnt understand the concept of subtext! now, when i tell people that my dad threw stuff a lot when i was a kid, im usually talking to people who understand that throwing things is inherently threatening. it is a thing that abusive people do to scare you and let you know that they want to hurt you and they can hurt you if you make them. but when i was growing up this was very much not the case! if i told an adult my dad threw stuff their response would be "well you didnt get hurt so you're fine, nothing to complain about"

so i lied about it, because i was terrified of him and needed people to believe that he was terrifying.

i was reading a book recently - one of the big abuse books that everyone recommends, though i dont recall precisely which - and i got to a bit about incest and immediately felt so unbelievably guilty. i never accused anyone in my family of sexual abuse but i wanted to so badly, and i never understood why. i just felt like id been taken advantage of, like my body didnt belong to me, like i was tainted and ruined somehow, but no one had ever really done anything so i had no reason to feel that way.

and then i kept reading and the author specifically started drawing attention to specific behaviors - not illegal behaviors, not behaviors that get you barred from having custody of your kids, just... weird stuff. a parent drawing attention to their kids body, making sexual innuendos about them, commenting on their imagined sexual activity. stuff my dad did. "you'll probably be really good at sex someday, just make sure you dont end up a whore like your mom" "i miss when you were a little kid, now youre ready to start popping out babies" "people will say anything to make me look bad, i bet theyre spreading rumors about us sleeping together" "youre almost like a wife, theres just a few really important things you cant do"

it made me feel....... gross. and i didnt know why. i didnt understand it. i wanted very badly to not feel that way, but not as much as i wanted someone to understand that i felt that way.

i stopped showering regularly in middle school, when i moved back in with my dad, because i didnt want to be naked in the same house as him and my brothers (for related reasons) but i could never explain it to anyone. i spent a lot of time in the guidance counselors office being questioned about what the problem was and utterly unable to find the words, or really understand it myself. so it got chalked up to being lazy. and i just spent several years absolutely hating myself and not understanding why i felt the way that i did. i wanted to lie to explain it and could never quite get there. and then the other thing happened and gave me a plausible explanation so i ran with it, and have continued running with it for years now, despite the fact that the worst symptoms predate it by 3 years.

im not.... entirely certain why i wrote this out. i think its just been stuck in my head for a while now? and i wanted to say it. i wanted to be able to say "here is a real thing that happened to me and here is how i felt and feel about it and actually i dont care if you think my feelings arent proportional to the events, i need to be able to accept this as a thing that happened if im ever gonna get over it"

so fuck it.

[stpds]

thinking about how the first case of child abuse in america was prosecuted on the basis of animal welfare laws which would have ruled the treatment of the child criminal if the child were an animal. i wish i were an animal and i wish people cared about people hitting their dogs and i wish we never learned to do it. expensive retainer chewed up and mangled parents are going to kill me may as well hurt the dog who loves me more purely than any other being in my life for a mistake she made before i get chewed out. it didnt make me feel better and it was the last time we hit her because it didnt fix anything and she didnt even know why she should be sorry. we thought we knew better because we learned how to escape punishment by being as perfect as possible. i wish id chewed a few retainers instead i wish the people who hurt me could have felt as scared as i did when it got ruined. look at what was ruined because you were careless. look at what i learned. you hurt an innocent child and i hurt an innocent dog. animal welfare should have prosecuted me and taken me into custody and put me in a kennel so i could warn people if they approached me wrong i would snap. i would want to be with her but she died of a mast cell tumor that got infected and constantly leaked and we blame ourself every day because we saw a weird spot with fur growing at an angle and plucked it out like we did for scrubby the cat who needed help grooming herself. and then there was a weird little circle of raised flesh like a hex tile in civ and then she got sick and she had to live in the bathtub and only eat chicken and rice and be put down far too late, we should have done it sooner but she declined so fast and she was my first dog and dad was thinking of his first dog and of how she was mine and he cried in the corner. she kept licking my hand until her tongue stopped moving even though i hurt her and for a while i left her. its a horrible prophecy for us and our parents. they did horrible things to us but now theyre better and how long until i need a safe bathtub where i cant make any more messes. i miss angel i wouldnt have been able to take her with me like i could scrubby. i hope when i die theyre there and they forgive me and i can do better by them and i hope that it isnt a prophecy because i dont want to die before im happy

[strawberry-jammers]

a child to protect (pt 3)

tommy x child!reader || a fun time

tommy gets cloths for (y/n) to wear in the tundra, and has a little fashion show

pt1 pt2 pt3 pt 4

The next morning Tommy got up to steal more things, and make (y/n) more clothes for colder climates. Tommy whent outside to get some wool, having stolen everything he wanted from technos. He needed to get some supplies for his kid.

Tommy opened the door from the basement, walking outside to the cold air. It smelled of winter goodness and blood. Tommy didnt pay to much mind, not even to the fact he was supposed to be hiding. Tommy started his walk to the forest for some sheep. “I think blue would be a good color, ghostbur would love it-”

“HEH tommy what are you doing near my home??” ah. He forgot about the blade. “Hey hey man hahaha funny seeing you here!” techno growled. “It's literally my home, what are you doing here?” tommy looked at the blade. “This is my home! Technoblade i think you've gone a little crazy there bud.” techno pulled out a pickaxe. “Ill sick this threw your teeth, get out of my house tommy.” “blade blade, this is our house! We own it together-” techno was tired of this. “Wait how long have you been here??” tommy grabbed a grapple. “A day or so.” he bite the golden apple. “That's where all my stuff whe- wait is that mine!!!” tommy walked back inside, albeit quickly and panicky. “Finders keepers, besides it was in our house.” “IT'S LITERALLY NOT YOUR HOUSE!” tommy shook his head, eating the apple. “Do you have any wool or something to make cloths with? I need to make some.” “yeah, your outfit is atrocious, it's also torn up and dirty and stuff.” tommy yelled back, “NOT FOR ME BITCH!” techno stood there a bit confused, until he heard a bell sound from below them. “hEH??”

before

 (Y/n) sat in the room, playing with the stick Tommy gave them months before. They had to wait for their dad to come back, but after awhile they got restless. 

(Y/n) heard loud noises upstairs, but they were more determined to find something new to do. Looking around the room, they saw a gold bell next to the prime log. Eyes sparkling, they crawled over to the bell, holding their stick in hand. Sitting next to the bell, they touched the shiny thing, intrigued. They then had a bright idea

Beat the thing with the stick. 

So they started to bang the bell with the stick. It was loud, very loud, they soon stopped and started crying instead. They were really close to the bell and hurt their ears. A faint “hEH'' was heard upstairs, but (y/n) couldn't hear it over their crying. Tommy quickly climbed down the ladders to get to his child. “Hey hey, shhh it's okay, are you hurt?” tommy asks. Rushing over to the small child. They kept crying, Tommy not knowing what to do. “Shh shh hey hey it's okay, it's okay.” he said softly, trying to calm the child. (y/n) over time stopped crying, feeling more and more sleepy as time went on, all the while techno just stared at them, rightfully confused. Tommy rocked his baby till they fell asleep, placing them in their crib. Tommy looked at his child happily, before turning to the person he was fighting a second ago.

“So, got any wool?”

------

Techno, albeit against his will, let tommy and (y/n) stay with him for the time being. In exchange, they had teamed up for the time being. Techno didn't really like his predicament, having to deal with an annoying brat and an orphan, but he had to go with it. The voices enjoyed having the baby around, so techno couldn't kill them.

Shortly after their confrontation, techno went out to gather wool for the two. Tommy took what he had and started to make more clothes for the child. He had learned the basics of sowing from eret way back when, so he tried his best. 

"(Y/n), try this on." The baby looked at him, just wanting to play with the crows that visited often. "No." Tommy sat there, baffled. "D-did you just tell me no??" "No!" "Okay well now you just lying." The kid giggled, continuing to pet the crows. Tommy grabbed his kid, sitting them on his lap. "Your trying this on." The kid pouted, but complied, slipping on the sweater. "Good?" The kid nodded, crawling off tommys lap and sitting with the crows again. 

Tommy sat there for a second, contemplating. "How the fuck do i make pants…"

Tommy had to ask techno if he knew how. He didn't, since he's never had to make pants, so he asked Phil if he had any baby cloths or if he knew how.

“Helloo” techno says as he enters phil's home. “Jesus christ- you know your not allowed in limburg tech.” techno shrugs. “Eh, anyway i came here for something.” phil nodded. “What is it that you need? Ore, food, books-” “i need baby clothes.” “WHAT-” phil wasn't expecting that request. “I need baby clothes, got any? I know wilbur was once a kid so.” phil looked at his old friend questioningly. “Do you have a kid??” techno looked very offended at this. “Ew no id never adopt an orphan. No, tommy needs it.” phil was still confused. “Techno, tommys not a baby-” “NO NOT LIKE THAT! He found a kid so now he's raising them, and they need baby clothes.” phil nodded. “Ohh sorry mate, yeah i think i have some of wilburs old cloths. Lemme go check.”

Phil came back with a bag full of wilburs old clothes, he said just to take it and see which would work for a baby. 

“I wish i could come visit, but tubbo needs me for some fucking reason.” techno nodded. “Thank you phil.” philza smiled. “Anytime, now go, make sure tommy didn't kill any of the animals.” techno panicked. “NO THE TURTLES-” 

------

“Okay little (f/i), we’re gonna try this on okay?” (y/n) nodded, ready for the cool new outfit they are gonna get. 

Tommy pushed a mirror in front of the child. “You like it?” they baby wore a striped yellow sweater with some cute little overalls. They also had snow boots and a beanie to go with it. (y/n) smiled, giggling partly at the fact that they were looking at themself. “You look cute big man! Now, lets see if there's anything else you might like.” 

The rest of the day was spent picking out clothes for them, seeing what fit and what they liked. Tommy was having fun with this, so he suggested they do a fashion show for when philza could visit. The kid was excited at this, wanting to meet the all so old philza minecraft. Tommy took care of the clothes that they didn't like or just plain wouldnt fit, while (y/n) messed with the toys that were found in the bag. 

“TECHNOOOO!” tommy yells, climbing up the ladder. “Whaaat.”he says, in the main part of the house. “Can phil come here tomorrow???” techno climbs down the ladder to meet the loud child. “Why?” tommy throws the bag in a random corner. “(y/n) wants to meet phil and show them their outfits.” tommy says, not as loud as before. Techno sighs. “Ill see if he can.” YEEEES!!! (Y/N) (Y/N) I HAVE GOOD NEWS-” tommy yells, climbing down the ladder as fast as possible. Techno chuckled, getting back to what he was doing prior.

The next day, phil came by as requested. He was excited to meet the young child, remembering when wilbur was young. Philza opened the front door of the cottage. “Helloooo.” techno says as always. “Hey mate, how's the wife?” techno snorted. “Great great, sitting in the boat as always.” they stare at edward who was staring at them as always. “In all seriousness, whos taking care of tommy been?” he asks, sitting down at one of the chairs. “Fine fine, nearly lost my hearing but other than that fiiine.” phil chuckled. “yeah he’ll do that.”

Tommy came up stairs, hearing the new presence come into the house. “Phiiilza, big p how you beeeen!” philza stared at him. “Don't call me that. I've been fine, visiting tech whenever i can. I heard your raising a baby? How's that going.” tommy sat in the chair next to the old man. “Great! (y/n)s been great, having spent some time alone, their happy with the constant attention.” tommy says happily. “What do you mean by alone?” phil asked, concerned on what he meant by that. “Uhh, anyways me and (y/n) wanna put on a little show for you! They wanna show off their new outfits.” phil let it slide, not wanting to pry to hard. “Aww mate, i wanna see the outfits.” tommy smiled, running off. “TECHNO SET THE STAGE. (Y/N) GET HYPED!!” techno snorted, displeased.

Philza chuckled at his old friend. “First i let him into my home, not killing his child, and now i'm doing shit for him? Ugh.” techno works on the little stage area for the two kids. “Calm down mate, he's just excited.” techno rolled his eyes, sitting next to phil. 

“WE’RE BACK!!” startling the two old men, Tommy runs up the stairs with (y/n) covered in a small blanket. He says the outfits are a surprise.

“Ready everyone?” phil and techno say yes while (y/n) says no, their favorite word. “Youre not ready (n/n)?” (y/n) shook their head. “Hat!'' Tommy gasped. “Your hat!” tommy grabs (y/n)s hat from the pile that he brought up and put it on their head. “There! Now you ready?” the kid nodded, getting ready for the fashion show they had been preparing for. 

“Okay!! Go little (f/i)!” (y/n) crawled their way in front of the curtain that blocked the old men from seeing the other two. They tried to stand up, having the help of Tommy to get on their feet. They stood proudly, showing off their winter outfit. They adorned a dark green winter coat, with black pants and little snow boots. They also had a grey beanie to add to the outfit. 

They continued this, philza thoroughly enjoyed the show they had put on, and techno thoroughly hated it. He kept trying to leave, but Phil kept dragging the piglin hybrid back to his seat. He didnt wanna ruin the fun the two were having. 

"Tadaaa!!!" (Y/n) said, having finished the show. Phil clapped happily, while techno slowly clapped as to not be the only one not clapping. Tommy picked up the small child, holding them in his arms. "That was fun, right little (f/i)?" Tommy asks. (Y/n) nodded, giggling happily. "Fun!" Philza laughed, standing up. "I better get going, Don't want ghostbur getting worried." "Awwwww buy you haven't fully met (y/n) yeeeet." Tommy complains, Phil just laughs at him. "I'll be back eventually. Now i have to go. Bye (y/n), you did really well back there." "No!" (Y/n) says, even tho they looked pleased with the compliment. 

"Bye everyone, have fun cleaning that up." Phil says, referring to the stage and piles of clothes. Techno snorts in annoyance while Tommy just ignores phil's comment. Philza leaves the house, closing the door behind him. 

"Anyways, have fun with that techno!!" "Oh no you don't! GET BACK HERE!!!"

[your-average-multifandom-mess]

HI AND WELCOME to me screaming about Spider-Man No Way Home (this post is absolutely huge)

obviously, MASSIVE spoilers ahead. will this post make sense? probably not. (as it largely consists of nothing but my excitement)

I’ll try and do this as close to the actual order that it happened in the movie as possible lmao

can we talk about how protective Peter is of MJ? just the “Please don’t touch her” and the way he almost instantly got her away from the crowd? I didn’t care that much about them at first but God I do now 

Ned and peter is the best friendship in the mcu there I said it 

“Dude!” “DUDE” “DUDE!”

Peter walking round his apartment half naked and shutting all of the blinds with May and Happy launching questions at him is almost EXACTLY what I envisioned believe it or not

MATT MURDOCK 

I saw the cane and I was like “surely not...” and then it was HIM. DAREDEVILLLL

“I'm just a really good lawyer” ICONIC

we should have had more time on Flash’s reaction to peter being spider-man because we deserve it

the teachers are still some of the best side characters ever

Peter thinking to go see Steven from some HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS is so funny to me lmao

 Wong sorcerer supreme! 

might just be all of the Mephisto theories but Strange seemed really off to me in this movie

Dr Oc taking some of Peter’s nanotech was really cool

Peter taking control of Oc’s arms was even cooler

WILLEM DAFOE’S GOBLIN LAUGH GOT ME SO EXCITED 

unpopular opinion but I liked Lizard as a villain and I think he should have been in this more

NOT THEM LAUGHING AT OTTO OCTAVIUS 

ELECTRO’S SCORE PLAYING WHEN HE CAME BACK UGH I LOVE FILM MUSIC MAN

Jamie Foxx should have kept the electro voice I said what I said

I knew it was only a matter of time until he turned but I genuinely did sympathize with Norman at first

I’m sorry but how the hell did peter jump back into his body when strange knocked him out of it? EXPLAIN PLEASE? 

 Otto is so nice when he’s in control this is why spider man 2 was the best Maguire film 

the sense of absolute dread I felt when peter knew something was wrong but we didn’t know what it was...wow

I knew May was a goner the second things started going south but it DIDNT MAKE IT HURT ANY LESS

I really felt some hope when she got up and said she was ok :’(

“with great power comes great responsibility.” OH GOD

STOP SHOOTING AT PETER YOU MONSTERS HE JUST LOST MAY LET HIM MOURN PLEASE

alright here it comes the part we were all waiting for

Ned opening a portal? WHAT?

is it bad that I could recognize Andrew from his run

WHEN HE TOOK HIS MASK OFF THE WAY I SCREAMED I.... I DIDN’T REALISE HOW BADLY I WANTED THIS UNTIL IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED

ANDREW GETTING THE SPIDERWEB- WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY

“Why did you do that?” “To see if you have the tingle thing” “I have the tingle thing just not for bread-can you- can you not throw more bread at me please?”

“Crawl around” “c-crawl around?” “yeah this is not enough” “this is plenty.” 

TOBEY

THE WAY HE WALKED THROUGH THE PORTAL LIKE A CONFUSED DAD LMAO

I could talk about this scene for hours so I’ll quit while I'm ahead

MJ and Ned just holding peter while he sobbed hurt me

the way MJ was SO GENTLE when telling Peter that the other Peters were here I just....yeah

Peter instantly being on guard and thinking that he needed to fight again when MJ said that :(

“She was....she was my MJ.” Andrew set out to bring back my pain from 2014 and he succeeded 

I love how each Spider-Man stood for a different thing, that's what made their dynamic so interesting.

Maguire’s spidey as a mentor :)

the three of them in the science lab was good, but the three of them at the statue? INCREDIBLE

“I fought an alien in space AND on earth” “You went to space?” “Wait you both fought aliens? I want to fight an alien.” 

“web shooters you...you don’t have web shooters?” “It comes out of your wrists? Does it...Does it come from anywhere else?” 

“No I’m peter two!” “Alright I’m peter one, you’re peter two and Peter..” “PETER THREE!”

the three of them swinging into battle and posing on the statue is one of the greatest shots in cinema because it ACTUALY EXISTS

the villains weren’t a huge part of the movie or even the final battle but I’m ok with that, because this movie was about Spider-Man, not who he (THEY!) were fighting.

Tom’s face when he was hit out of the way by goblin’s glider...it was on screen for a matter of seconds but you could still see the panic on his face :(

ANDREW CATCHING MJ

the sheer RELIEF that you see on his face when he realizes she’s ok, that he caught her in time. Peter couldn’t catch his Gwen, but he still managed to save the love of Peter Parker’s life :’( 

Yeah Andrew silently sobbing was the most heart wrenching part of this movie and had me in tears even faster then May’s death

Tobey stopping Tom from killing goblin in the same way really gave me the feelings

THE THREE SPIDEY HUG. just think about how this must have felt for the actors for a sec though, I mean that must have meant a lot to all of them

Peter and MJ’s goodbye :’(

ANDREW’S PEACE SIGN AS HE WENT AWAY- HOW WAS THIS MAN SUCH A MEME YET ALSO CAUSED SO MUCH PAIN IN ONE MOVIE

wow. that’s it. peter really is all alone. He’s lost absolutely everything: May, Tony, Happy, MJ, Ned, everyone who he’s ever cared about :’(

When we next see peter, he NEEDS happiness. he’s been through so much and he’s still just a teenager. I’m glad he was able to be content with the way his life was at the end of the movie (especially with the comic suit!) but I just hope this boy ends up with everything he deserves

VENOM WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH VENOM

the mutiverse of madness looks absolutely wild and I am so, so ready for it

Basically, this film was absolutely incredible, and my only critique is I WANT MORE. I could watch the three Peters talking for hours I seriously could

The intense nostalgia I got from seeing Tobey and Andrew again was amazing, and I know that most audience members my age or older felt the same. Marvel, Sony and John Watts have done us proud, and this movie was really when Tom absolutely shone as Spider-Man. I am happy to watch him for a good few more years 

sorry this post was so ASTRONOMICALLY long, I just have a lot of thoughts and feeling lmao, and already as I write this I’m remembering things I forgot BUT I SWEAR I’M DONE NOW. pls feel free to scream with me in the notes :D 

[xlysaaa]

Ahhhhhh

Ok, so this might become a bit of a long post. After reading the latest Kono oto Tomare! chapter, i just have to get these feelings off my chest. It'll be random & full ramblings.

i put some panels of chapter 105 but also from 99.5 in this post.

-> lot of spoilers, so read at your own risk <-

this wont be a review or something. I just want to ramble and scream.

First of all, Chikas father . . .

I have literally no fucking words for this sorry excuse of a father! seeing this flashback made me wanna puke my fucking guts out on the floor.

how much do you have to sink as a human being to make YOUR VERY OWN CHILD think this?

What kind of human scum do you have become to tell to YOUR VERY OWN SON " It's hell. Ever since you were born, Its always been hell." ?! What kind of heartless huge shit being do you have to be to treat your very own son like he's the worst, like he isnt worth of human affection or care?!

While Chika was scared & uncomfortable, because he punched someone for the first time to defend himself, instead of talking about it the father looked at him like he was dirt.

When Chika went to the Takaokas that day in Chapter 99.5, he brought back come of the selfmade cake from Tetsukis mum, because he wanted to share it with his father, he thought he could make him happy.

look at this adorable sweet baby bean? how dare you make him cry. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

Imagine a little smiling chika hoping his father would come back early from work to share this delicious cake with him. . . and THEN! imagine the father telling chika in his drunk state all those horrible things, while chika still cares for his father and put a blanket on him to keep him warm. Only for the faher to say ".. I cant bringt myself to love you."

We read in the latest chapter that his mother left with another man, chika cant even remember her face, because he was 2 years old. If its because of the dad, why wouldnt she take chika with her? i dont care whatever her business is, she is as much to blame as this human trash called father. There were so many moments were i had to pause for a bit cause these scenes were too heartbreaking.

Of course Chika would never treasure himself when never once did his father! How should he know how to hold himself dear, when his father never did?

I cant find even the words to describe, what i'm feeling. I feel so sick to my stomach.

I'm so glad that he had his grandpa who cherished him and gave Chika affection. He always encouraged Chika. "Hey, Chika. Dont give up on yourself" & showed him the Koto. He & Tetsuki literally pulled Chika out of the deep darkness & showed him light.

Look Chika, they're all waiting for you! T____T

- - - - - - -- - - - - - -

When Tetsuki transfered into Chikas class, a boy told him that he shouldnt get involved with chika because he's a loner & he's trouble. He said "Instead you can be friend with us" to which Tetsuki replied "Thanks. But no thanks." IN YO FACE YOU SHITTY BULLY CHILD.

Anyways, after school the boy & his friends planed to isolate Tetsuki & bully him . . welp, these boys forget chika "LAME. You guys are super lame." and off they go :'D thank to these shitty children ⬇️

a wonderful unbreakable friendship started! They became best friends who were inseparable. /chikas adorable blush q.q sweet baby bean!!!

When Chika had an argument with his father & left the house, he was bullied by middles schoolers & fought. . . it was then when they started to slowly fall apart.. Chika started to avoid Tetsuki & isolated himself again. Even when Tetsuki tried to ask what happened or tried to help him, Chika would only say "Its got nothing to do with you, do dont butt in." Tetsuki blamed himself "If only I had been there the first time Chika had fought. Maybe we could've run. Maybe we could've feigned defeat. Anything so he didnt have to deal with their attention. Any maybe he would still be . . ." He missed his best friend & was worried what would happen to Chika if he keeps going on like this..

Tetsuki was told by the teacher that his mother had an accident & needs surgery. He's waiting anxious in the hospital, hoping for the best, trying to keep the worst case thoughts away . . thats when Chika comes running into the hospital he was worried!

NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS SIMPLY PERFECTION, I CANT!!! ૮₍ ꒦꒳꒦ ₎ა❤

When Tetsukis dad said to Chika that he heard a lot about him from his wife & thanked him for supporting Tetsuki, he asked about his wounds & if they hurt. . thats when Tetsuki learns the reason, why chika kept his distance from him. He didnt want to involve him or put him in danger. "E-Everything's fine! I'm not hanging out with Tetsuki anymore, nobody's seen us together, nobody knows we're friends or anything. I would never drag him into my problems. Never."

Takaoka-papa is as wonderful as Takaoka-mama, jesus the Takaoka family is a bunch of lovely human beings, help me!!!

BONUS:

WHY ARE THEY SO DAMN WONDERFUL??/Tetsuki is so happy for chika *ugly sobbing deluxe*

I'm so glad that that he had Tetsuki right beside him, i dont wanna imagine what would have happened to Chika without his support & affection.

For me, they have one of the most wonderful & most strongest bond ever. I love their friendship so much, seriously i could probably write an essay about them & would never be able go stop. 🥺❤❤❤

Chika went through so much already, he fought his way through life, suffered, so NOW! Let him finally become happy!

Ufff, i didnt mean to make it THIS long.. but there's so much to say about this manga & the relationships chika made or the persons met.ヾ( இ⌓இ)ﾉﾞ

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Must be this tall to Hunt| Boba Fett (tcw age so like 13/14)

Couldnt find a good teen boba gif, so heres bosk instead

Warnings: fake blame,

Reader: female

"You are expelled from the order-"

"What!?" Y/n shouted looking up at the council, "I did nothing! Master Plo! Reason with them!"

"I am sorry little one, I-"

Y/n was heart broken, looking up at the surrounding Jedi, this couldn't be true.

"Master Obi-Wan!" Y/n pleaded.

"Your attachments grow," Windu spoke, "and with them your anger."

"My anger?! My anger?!" Y/n shouted at him.

"Little one please." Plo pleaded, "I have brought a witness."

"You!?" Y/n argued, "Master I demand an answer! Why! Why would you- You out of all People!-"

She watched Anakin walk in guilt ridden on his face, "You!? Anakin! You!?"

He kept quiet as Fives walked in, her world stopping.

"Y-Your lieing!" She shouted, "Fives?! Not you! I trust you and you do this!?"

"Arc Trooper Fives." Windu spoke, " what have you seen Padawan Y/n do?"

Fives looked at her, "I. Saw Genral Y/n with a clone trooper,"

"Im with troopers everyday!" Y/n defended.

"What was Padawan Y/n doing with this clone trooper."

"...intercourse sir." Fives responded.

"Thats Obsurded Fives! And you know it!" Y/n argued, "You're my brothers- Why in gods name would I fuck any of you!"

"Y/n! That is enough!" Plo argued.

"You believe this crap!? You're suppose to have MY back!" Y/n demanded, "I'd have your back no matter what! And you turn on me!"

"Are there any other witnesses?" Fisto spoke.

"Yes." Windu spoke, "bring them in."

Y/n watched, her brothers, the wolf pack, Commandos and even some from the Corosaunt Gaurd walk in, and they strung there string of lies and they strung them high and low, entagled the lies beyond untanglement.

"Padawan L/n is to be expelled from the Order and that is our final verdict."

The platform she was on went downward, the clone troopers who had made there testimonies were gathered at the bottom, a path for her to go through.

"Y/n-" Wolfee spoke reaching out a hand.

"Don't you dare touch me!" She shouted in anger pushing past the clones.

"It had to be done." Commander Thron spoke quietly.

The others nodded.

"Damn it!" Fives shouted running out the room and rushing down the halls, after the light echoing of Y/n's angered footsteps.

She pushed the doors open and just walking out them she stopped, hearing Five's steps behind her.

"General. It had to be done-"

"What!? The lies! The string of lies you built! Why!? Why would you do this to me?!" Y/n argued looking back at the clone.

"We wanted to protect you-"

"Bullshit Fives! Bullshit! I love all of you! All of you!" Y/n shouted, screaming so loud it was sure to be heard all the way down to the lower level.

"Y/n listen!-' he grabbed her shoulders trying to plead with her but she pushed him away ingiting one side of her double sided saber as Fives quickly backed up.

"Touch me again and I'll kill you." She spoke.

"I don't even deserve death. I know- I-" Fives tried to explained, "We wanted to protect you-"

"Then you should of had my back!"

The bright blade turned off and she turned around leaving without a second thought.

"Hey! Wake up!" Boba argued.

Y/n turned her self around as she opened her eyes, "what do you want Fett."

"Rations idiot." He spoke as Y/n sat up, the girl only a year older than Bobba.

She was thrown a rations bar by the boy as they were in a hotel room, she had been sleeping on the couch.

"How much longer we waitin?" She asked taking a crunch out of the bar.

"An hour, I told you that the how much longer last time you woke up." He argued looking through the window.

Y/n kept quiet as she ate her food, it bland and bleak in both tast and color.

Bobba took an arm chair by the window as he ate his own rations. It was silent for a long mintue.

"Did. You have that nightmare again?" He asked.

Y/n looked over at him, "when do I not?"

Boba ate a peice of his own ration bar, he never knew what the nightmare was about, but knew it was the same one, on repeat.

He had the same.

"You, uh. Wanna talk about it?"

She looked his way, then looked away quickly, only able to see the faces of her brothers.

"No." She replied coldy tossing the barely eaten ration bar on the table, her appetite gone, "I'm gonna go scope the roof, don't wait up for me."

She walked towards the door, grabbing the sniper on the way out.

"I'll come with you. Incase someone tries to get you from behind."

"I don't need someone to have my back." Y/n argued.

"Well then Im coming because I want to!"

He pushed past Y/n as she scoffed, following him close behind as they walked towards the steps, somewhere along the way Y/n hacked into a vending Machine, Boba going up the stairs himself, stealing whatever she pleased putting it in her sling bag, enough for her only.

"Sharing is what?" Y/n questioned Woflee

"An opportunity for someoen to get there arm chopped off, it's my food." Wolfee told her.

Y/n sighed, how she hated her own little life lessons to her brothers, and stole more food, enough for both Boba and her, and a little extra.

Walking up the rest of the steps she made it to the door she kicked open with the bottom of her foot.

"Could you try and be quiet?" He seethed.

"I mean. I could. But no." Y/n responded walking towards the edge where Boba sat on a near by utiliy unit.

She sat down setting her back infront of her as she laid herself on her side her back to Boba the lights of the bright city below barely reaching the top of the tall hotel they sat on.

"You want one?"

Boba looked over seeing Y/n holding up a soda.

"Where did you get that?"

"Stole it."

Rolling his eyes he walked over to her snatching the bottle and sitting himself by her head.

"Hey hey. Fives calm your tits." Y/n laughed.

Boba stayed silent as he looked at her, she too busy looking out and onward, but feeling the stare she looked besides her.

"Oh." Y/n realized, "My bad Fett."

Boba stayed silent, as Y/n took a drink of her own soda, he had realized she had become more sympathetic with her apology.

"You wanna talk about it now?" Boba questioned.

Y/n sighed, answering in silence for a mintue, "My only family betrayed me. Strung a String of lies to supposedly keep me safe. I think about it all the time. We use to find these abaonded places and sit up on the roofs like this, we'd sing, start a bonfire, get drunk."

"Your as old as me." Fett argued.

Y/n shrugged, "war does that, you only live once Fett."

"Then why are you still worrying about it?" Boba defended.

"Why do you still worry about the things you worry about?" Y/n questioned, "but I was kicked out of my group, my name stripped of me, and instead of having my back, they had me cast out. Happy Now?"

It was silent again, the hearing of honking and swearving down below could be heard.

"I lost my dad to the Jedi."

Y/n stopped mid way lifting her drink to her lips but then contuined to drink then pull away.

"They tend to do that..." Y/n responded, "they expect you to follow every rule every word, there no better than the sith."

"You know alot of jedi and sith."

Y/n looked at him once, "It was when you father died did I stop really believing in the Jedi-"

"You knew my father?! You're a jedi-"

"Shut your trap and listen before you get rowdy you damn idiot!' Y/n argued Boba gritting his teeth, "I met Jango Fett when I went on a small assignment, my first one, with Master Shakk Ti- it was basically playing paper boy. I remember delivering work to your father...alot of people were mean to me, he. He never was, always said thank you, always asked me if I had eaten. He even watched me leave on the ship back to Master Plo Koon. So when I went througy reports and found him dead I was in shock, later to find out a Jedi did it. I started to loose faith. Why kill a man lookin out for him and his child, sure capture him- but taking family...I know how that feels and no one should go through it."

Y/n took a drink finishing her bottle and tossing it over edge, "so. I fought. And I fought and I fought. If i couldnt save Jango, I'd save what was left of him- the clones- my brothers. They share the same face but are diffrent than any could imagine. I spoke, I wrote, I pleaded, I trainned. It never was enough, and it was my 'emotion' that got the better of me. Pssh. Yeah right the Jedi can piss off because if they want to see emotion? I'll give it to them."

Boba listened, he had nevee seen Y/n before hand, maybe he had and just didnt remember, he never knew someone could share his pain. Neverless with the same person.

"Windu will pay." Boba seethed, "and your a jedi! You can help me."

"I will go head to head to him, I don't plant bombs." Y/n defended.

"We can take him! Two on one!" Boba tried to persuade, "you know his fighting style! I know guns! You know sabers! We take his head and anyone else that stands in our way!"

Y/n looked at him dully.

"Come on! How many bounty hunters have you single handedly taken on! And killed! How many sith have you injured! Jedi that chase after us! Without your laser swords! We can kill him! Together!" Boba explained standing up, Y/n move to sit up, "We're the left behind! We are the strongest! Because we were left behind! We round up a few others! Bane! Sing! Bosk! And there's always someone paying for a Jedi's head!"

Y/n stood up grabbing hee sniper rifle as she did and looked at her watch.

"It can be a sniper shot! A saber battle! Whatever you want! As long as he die and Im involed I don't care how!" Bobba argued.

Y/n looked down below aiming her sniper adjusting the scope.

"My father would do the same for you-"

He was cut off by a bullet shot and soon the sounds of crying folks who see a man just drop dead on the street, the target they had been waiting for dead. She pulled away from her weapon slowly, turning her head towards him.

"I'll do it.-" Y/n agreed

"No." Boba spoke, "We'll do it. Together. For everything the jedi took from us!"

Y/n looked at the outreached hand as she took it.

"Together."

"As One Unit."

"As One Unit." Y/n responded, "well one and a half"

"Im not that short." Boba argued.

"Shorter than me." Y/n chuckled.