#And everyone there is a good 20 years older than me at the YOUNGEST

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

Man, this IOP is not going as well as I hoped

[jk-kiwi]

Warmth of December

Warmth of December (18+) Characters - Sergeant JK x Y/N reader (woman) Genre - slow burn (?), strangers to lovers, basically everything is war themed, the story takes place in old time but is not an accurate representation of real life events, pretty much an old mentality on how things should be and about how people should act, THIS is fiction.  

Summary - Everyone wants a chance at freedom once a brutal war starts taking place, this also means that taking risks and dangerous paths is part of it. But what would you do when a chance for survival appears before you? Will you reach out and take it? Warnings - war stuff (blood, death, mentions bad things done to women, weapons and fights, etc.), angst, drama, fluff, fictional characters, 5 years age gap (20/25), older Jk, suggestive/smut, Jk is kinda cocky/arrogant and sometimes a jerk, he gets better after a while and becomes a total sweetheart, Jk hits a women once (not you), mentions of enslavement, women are kinda treated like objects that have no function other than being obedient housewives that must listen to their husband, mention of chastity/virginity, a lot of mixed feelings, slight aggression towards the reader, mentions of pregnancy.

MINORS PLEASE STAY AWAY! Warnings for the not so holy parts (18+) - they get naked in front of each other without doing it, mentions of soft and hard manhood as well as female parts, reader is inexperienced, they take things slow at first, it’s consensual, I won’t detail what I’m about to write because I’m embarrassed so read at your own risk, no heavy/crazy stuff though I think, they do it 3 times along the story (once outside), has some other suggestive parts. X<

Author’s note - Y/L/N Y/N stands for your first and last name. Also, NEVER in my life have I written smut, first time so don’t come for me if it’s bad, please. BTW It’s been a while since I’ve written something, this is also the longest one I've ever wrote till now. If there are any mistakes please let me know!

Enjoy!  Word count - 19k

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30 August 1955

“Keep quiet!” Poor heart beating out of your chest.

Step by step and you were almost out of this hell hole. You started clenching your long skirt tighter while the other three girls were following tightly through the thick blanket of rusty leaves. Escaping through the forest was not an easy task, especially for young women and since this damned war has started, more and more people seek liberty and justice. 

But it’s not that easy to seek freedom.

Around every corner you can find soldiers waiting to attack, and once you get caught by one of them, it’s game over. Dragged in a hidden place, if not taken right there and then for their own sick pleasure, losing all hope of a good life and just succumbing to the dark and shameful path you will have to live, if they pity you enough to let you do so.  

Every person wants a chance at freedom after all, right?  And because of this you are forced to take the risk. Either make it safe over the border, through the woods and get to a small town where you can start your life all over, or fall into the hands of the devil himself.  “I’m scared…” The youngest one of us, Mai, says, tears pooling in her eyes. At only 16 years old she’s forced to take such harsh decisions in order to gain safety. 

“Calm down, if you make too much noise we will get caught, that’s what you should be truly scared about.” Yun-Mi tries to reassure her, hoping she will calm down and not get us in trouble. With cold hands you push the bushes in front of our faces and look over to the hill we have to go across. Over the sun covered land we can see the thick border of trees, that’s it! That’s the last part we have to cross. After days of hiding and countless sleepless nights of looking around, we have finally made it.

”That’s it, right Y/N? That’s the border.” Jia, the oldest one exclaims in eagerness. “Yes, after that…we are finally free.” You can say, slight uneasiness crawling into your head, almost like you could predict something bad was going to happen. The three girls smile and hug each other, happy that they finally can get away from what the war has brought. “Let’s go then, what are we waiting for?!”

Oh, only if it was that easy. Perhaps this was the hardest part of all, beside the fact that this area was the most watched over because many attempted to cross over, the emptiness of the hill made the perfect chance of being spotted.

“Let’s go by the tree line, it’s much safer.” With a plan set, You try to take the lead.

Safe to say, the place looked deserted, the sun was almost setting and the only thing you could hear was the gentle sound of the wind. It was dangerous, luring people with its quiet demeanor, thinking you are safe until you wake up on the ground with a gushing gunshot wound and one or more soldiers on top of your body. With slow and steady steps the four of you go along the tree line, skirts raised above the knee level. If the nuns at church you used to live all these years would see, they for sure would pass out. 

“It seems clear.” Jia point’s out, looking around. And so you thought, until your head turned to look through the thick tree trunks, scanning the area below. In a split second making eye contact with a guy who was down at the river, he was watching you. 

Your blood ran cold, his head turned sideways, almost confused like, wondering if his mind was playing tricks. But when you saw him take his rifle out looking through the scope to confirm that what was happening was, in fact, the horrifying truth you will be living. “Get on the ground.” You managed to mutter when you saw him signal to someone while taking better aim, a horrifying grin spread across his face. 

“What?” The others ask. Your cold hands grab Mai by the shoulder, pulling her down with you, while yelling at the other two. “Get on the ground, now!” With your head down the only thing you could hear was a deafening shot. Looking back you see Jia holding her arm, bright red liquid staining the white fabric of her dress. All four of you fall to the ground, screaming and crying, finally grasping the situation. 

You try to keep composure, to look for a place to hide, but you were like a lost bunny that just fell into their prey's trap.

Dragging Mai away, Yun-Mi helping Jia follow, even though she screamed in pain and wiggled in shock. Looking around you try to find the best spot to hide, already hearing their footsteps getting closer. Still, you had some time to try and get away. 

“There!” you point at the overgrown bushes and piles of dead leaves and branches. They for sure will think you ran away and not look through the debris. So you get close, Yun-Mi stuffs Jia’s mouth with her apron to try to stop her screaming. 

“Keep quiet! They're going to catch us!” she manages to whisper, the girl nods and swallows the fear and pain she feels knowing this is the only chance for survival. And then you see one, pretty tall and muscular, a dark green hat covering his eyes, weapon in hand looking ready to strike anytime, clearly a soldier. Close to him another wonders, looking around cautiously trying to think of your steps.

You cuddle closer, hiding away in the leaves, eyes shutting tight holding your breaths. 

The two boys go down the path, while a surprising third goes up the hill towards the borders to check. That’s it, that’s our end. Knowing you are close they will continue to search until they find you, and then, God forbid, what’s going to happen. You try to think of a strategy, head running wild with possible solutions, in your madness I barely notice Yun-Mi’s hand tagging lightly on your skirt. “Y/N…” she whispers and then gulps. And so you open your eyes to see another pair in front, big and dark eyes scanning you like a predator. You reach under your dirty apron and slowly pull out the emergency knife you carried all this way, pointing it in his direction. He chuckles and tilts his head, amused by your bold reaction.

“Leave us alone!” You say, seeing his tongue pushing the inside of his cheek, his gaze still curious, but instead of doing something the only thing does is look around for his mates. 

That’s our chance! 

In an instant you try to launch at him and hit with the knife. With one hand he catches your arm, making the knife hit the ground. 

You wince in pain and he does not stop his actions, one of his knees presses over the knife while he maneuvers you around, your face hitting the ground roughly. 

You try to resist, but he catches your other hand and straddles your back making you unable to move under his heavy weight. 

“Get away from her!” Mai tries to come closer to hit him but his hands are quick, taking his pistol and pointing in her direction. “Have any other surprises left in you, pretty girl?” He says, hands starting to wander under my apron searching for other potential weapons making you feel disgusted. 

Though in fear, Yun-Mi drags her shaking body over, begging the man on her knees, her voice soft. “Please, I beg you, let her go!” The others crying too, probably aware of what was about to happen, seeing their fate being sealed through what was happening to you. “I have no intention of doing that, but I must say, you are some brave girls. Going around all this road for a chance to escape, on your own? No other man? Just four young girls.” He laughs a little, chilling your bones.

“Must say you have a lot of balls. You know what happens to people like you, right? If not, then I can only warn…not nice things.” He rises a bit, letting go of your arms, pistol pointed at the back of your head.

“Turn around, I want to see your face.” You obey and turn around, the man still on top of you, his eyes boring along your body making you avoid his gaze.

“Hmm, not bad. How old are you? 18, 19?” Rough hand comes in contact with your face wiping the debris that got stuck before gripping at your jaw, turning your head to look at him.

“I asked you a question, therefore you should respond. Aren’t you in a bad position? Why are you making stuff harder for yourself?”. “I’ve just turned 20.” You spit through clenched teeth.  

He hums, seeming satisfied with the response. In a flash he gets off of you, putting his pistol back in his carrier, taking my knife from the grass. Quick footsteps being heard in the distance. 

“Sergeant! Have you found them?! We lost track!” An older guy approaches you. “Yes, four of them, pretty young. All girls by the way.” He says boringly. 

“Oh my! They really are pretty. What a delight.” Three other guys gather from behind, eyes praying over you, their faces plastered with sinister grins. “So, what do we do with them, sergeant?” asks another impatiently, hoping to get a green card for some potential hideous actions. The guy who found you, despite his appearance, looked to be the youngest, but also seems to be the leader. 

His body was pretty muscular, black hair almost covering his eyes, one of his hands covered in tattoos. He looked at you and caught your gaze again. You can see how his hand dips in his military jacket, searching for something before responding to his mates. 

“To be honest, we should follow the rules, right? All that are caught are enslaved, no other funny businesses." The three whine but obey his orders. 

His body crouches to your level, putting the knife under your chin making you gasp and close your eyes.”But I feel a little pleased with today's catch. To see such young women trying to fight for their lives in such a brutal world, tsk tsk, truly a pity.” He pushes the knife upwards, making you tilt your head with it. 

“Who wants to live from here?” He says delighted, devious plan coming together in his mind. 

Is he a sadist or what? Playing with your feelings for his own pleasure, enjoying seeing you suffer and making you beg for him to let you live?

The three girls start begging, even Jia, who’s body became pale from all the blood loss, raises her hands to pray for forgiveness in front of the soldiers. So you do what seems the best option, you wrap your hands around his one that holds the knife, pressing lightly, but enough feeling a warm droplet of blood drip down. “Would you look at that?” He doesn't even flinch, but you could see his muscles contracting in trying to hold the knife steady. “Let go. Do you want to die?” His face was stern, but amusement was growing behind his facade. “Yes, I would rather die than get dragged to who knows where, letting man touch and spoil me over and over like a slave. I refuse to go to that hell, so kill me.” He snatches the knife away, your head hitting his knee from lack of balance. You could hear his laugh seeing how pathetic you are in front of him. “You know…I really like you, very bold.” He gets up from the ground, his hand throws the thing he searched from under his jacket in your lap. You take it in your hands, it was a cold, shiny and silvery tag. It reads “Sergeant” on one side, with a few stars engraved showing his status, on the other side it’s only what I can figure it’s his name “Jeon Jungkook”. You look up at him, hands holding the cold chain, already knowing what it meant. He smiles cockily at you.

“Congratulations! I think you can call yourself a lucky lady, you know. If you think the place I was supposed to shove you was hell, then what can I say baby, I guess I just brought you back to heaven.” He says delightedly, before signaling his man to take your friends. 

You can hear them screaming and crying, trying desperately to free the grip these devils had on them. You bow your head down, refusing to witness the grotesque scene unfolding in front of your eyes. Jungkook comes over and with one arm he snatches you from the ground. “You need to wear it sweetheart, people will grow suspicious otherwise.” He puts the necklace over your head, sealing your faith as well. “Let’s go.” He says while dragging you with him, from now on his property to mess with. You tried to feel even in the slightest relieved, you were given a chance at a new life after all, right? 

The silver military pendant is only given as a token of proof for married women with high military men, showing their status and letting others know not to mess with them. But why did this feel different? Why you?

“I should be happier.”, that’s what you told yourself…happier that you lost your friends? Or that you are at the hand of such a man, someone you don’t know, that could use you like a puppet whenever he wants? 

You should've just taken the chance and stabbed yourself right there and then, only if you weren't such a coward. In the end, you just followed him around like a lost puppy, letting him drag you where he wanted, your body and soul now his to play with. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shortly you two arrived at what seems to be a military camp, night already setting in. Your friends, nowhere to be found. 

The guy presumably named Jungkook took you to one of the tents, his by the looks of it. 

“We will leave tomorrow morning, I will show you where to wash up and I will bring you some clothes to wear.” He took off his jacket and boots laying back on the singular bed while you stayed close to the entrance, like a lost lamb. “Why are you doing this to me?” You ask quietly, breaking the silence, your eyes staring at the ground. Jungkook only sighed, didn't even bother to look your way. “You said you don’t want to go there, didn’t you? I fulfilled your wishes so be happy. You are not there, are you?” You didn’t know what to say or do, why did he even want to do this in the first place, it didn’t make any sense. “It does not make sense to me. Do you save all types of girls this way? If so, why not my friends too.” Now his attention was full on you, he sat up and looked at your figure. 

“Are you always such a pain? You got it better than the others, I gave you my tag, you get to marry a high rank military man, everyone is happy!” 

I scoff “I am not! I don’t understand your reasoning in wanting to marry me in the first place, I am just a low commoner that is basically a run-away! Why did you decide to save me and where did your men take my friends!” I ask authoritatively.  Jungkook groans, throwing his head back. “You really are a pain! If I knew I would’ve never taken you, maybe the crybaby would’ve been better.” He mutters the last part, but you hear it anyway. “I don’t need a reason to do this, I just wanted to. End of discussion.” He says making you look away annoyed. 

You see him get up, his body coming closer to yours. 

“Also, you better not tell a soul about this. If they ask, I just found you in a village and took you over because I fell in love with you, understood?” His presence was scary all of a sudden. Tall frame hovering over yours, dark eyes staring dangerously. 

“I saved you, so you owe me. If you say you wanted to cross the border and I took you in out of pity, or anything else that will bring trouble to me…then I will not hesitate to send you to a place worse than hell itself.”

You gulped even though your throat felt dry, he was intimidating.

“Those girls are not your friends anymore, we don’t speak of them, and if you want to live good then you follow what I say and are obedient to my words, understood?” His hand comes over to grab your cheek, not as rough as before, but with much more authority. You can only comply under his underwhelming presence. 

“Understood…” And with that he grabs your hand and a set of clothes, taking you to where the shower area is. 

… “So what do you think, prestigious?” He asks while you look around scanning the area. It was not much, but decent enough. It felt more like a communal shower than the prestigious luxury he was talking about. A simple room with a few shower heads and walls for a bit of privacy.

“You can shower wherever, the water is a little cold, but it’s still August, you should be fine.” And so you go behind the wall, slowly starting to undress. That is until you hear a whistle from behind the wall. 

“Why are you still here?!” You ask in horror only to make him laugh in response, already enjoying the situation. “I can’t let you THAT alone, what if you run away?”. “Don’t worry though, I promise I won’t peek, I’ll have all the time in the world to gush over your body.” He says suavely, making you gasp 

“I can’t do this like that! I am a woman after all, what about my chastity? Have a little decency!” You say in rage “And how can you even say such lewd words!”

“Relax, I will just stay here. I won’t just barge in like an animal. Plus isn’t it better? What if someone else decides to come and shower? You’ll be my wife soon, I will have to carve their eyes out if they see it before I do.” You were disgusted to say the least, such unscrupulous man. You sigh and with the little patience you had you decided that maybe it was for the best and just went with it. Jungkook seemed to keep his promise, every now and then your head peeking to look at what was he doing. 

He was leaning on the wall, arms crossed over his chest and eyes closed, he seemed tired. The peace around you was nice, but part of you was also longing for some discussion. 

After all, he was the first person to talk after all this time, of course, other than your now “not to speak of” friends. 

So you decided to break that silence and try to get to know him a little. “So, I should get to know you a little, I think.” Jungkook only hummed. “Jeon Jungkook is your name, as I recall from the tag, also a sergeant?” 

“Yup, I am him in flesh and bones.” “How old are you?” “24, 25 soon.” He was pretty stiff with his answers, but at least you hoped he responded honestly to your questions. 

You tried to think of some more stuff to ask, but Jungkook beat you to it. “How about you, I responded to all your questions, but I don’t even know your name.” “My name is Y/L/N Y/N” you tell him. “Pretty name.” He adds.

“So…Y/N, where are you from and why did you decide on doing these things?” You close the water and grab the towel Jungkook prepared. 

Sitting deep in thoughts while drying your hair, the bathroom became quiet.

 “It’s fine if you don’t want to say, I was just curious.” You can hear him taking a big breath of air before his steps start taking towards the door, he was leaving. “From a small village in the south.” You bluntly say, making the man stop in his tracks, his back facing you.

“I don’t have a family if you’re wondering, I grew up in the church. I wanted a better life since there was only misery there, that’s why I left.” 

You see the boy turn around, his eyes scanning your body, only wrapped in the towel, small droplets of water falling from your hair to the ground.

“It’s not polite to look at a girl like this, I didn’t wear my clothes yet so please just turn back around.” Embarrassment and shyness take over when you feel his deep stare, never being watched as exposed as now. 

He complies however, turning his body around, staying in front of the door, almost looking like he’s guarding it. 

“I see, so you are a church girl.” He snickers “I figured since I’ve seen you for the first time, the clothes gave it away pretty well, not to mention you look scared every time I get an inch closer.” “Is that a bad thing?” You ask. 

“Nope. Just so you know, I’m not exactly into practicing stuff like this, does not match my personality.” He says before exiting. Letting you put on some clothes, most probably his.

“How did you become a sergeant at such young age?” You cautiously ask him while going back to the tent. “My dad is the general of the east side of the army, I worked hard to match his steps, but in the end I got stuck as a sergeant and was given my pluton.” 

The man opened the tent to let you enter, him following right after. 

“How are you not married yet? Especially having such a function and family, aren’t girls throwing themselves at you at any given chance?” Your bold question takes him by surprise.

“You became even bolder I see, already asking me personal stuff? Are you worried I have a wife and kids at home?” He asks cockily, making you look back at him with wide eyes.

Sure you have your doubts, but your thoughts were still pure, asking just to get to know him better. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think my question was intrusive. I wasn’t under any means doubting you!” I rush to say, my cheeks heating up making him chuckle again. 

“Don’t be so stiff, sugar, I was just playing around. Plus, you have the tag, don’t you, so no other women are involved.” He closes the tent behind him, inside only the small oil lamp give in some light.

Without care he starts pulling at his t-shirt, leaving his upper body exposed in your sight.  

Your eyes go wide, cheeks brighter than they were already, your hands fly up to cover up your vision. “Oh my lord! Have some decency, I am also here!” 

In the end you close your eyes and turn your back to him. However, when you can feel his muscular chest stick to your back you stiffen up. 

He leans down, his breath gently caressing your neck. “I wonder what are you going to do after we get married? Hide around and let me play catch with you, little one?” You gulp down, pressing your legs to the nightstand in front of you, his hands come from behind resting on the wooden surface, your face pure red now.

“You know…you’ll have duties to take care of as a wife, I am a man after all, I have my needs.” His lips brush ever so slightly to the side of your neck, leaving a lingering feeling on your soft skin. You never felt like this before.

“Jungkook…please” You breathlessly say while trying to get away from his hot embrace. But he only chuckles once again getting away from you. 

You can’t turn around, eyes fixed on the back of your hands while you can hear him taking his shirt on again and searching for a new set to wear. “I’ll go wash up too, go to sleep and don’t think of running away. This is my camp, I’ll find you.” 

And so he leaves. With shaky legs you lay on his bed. It smelled manly, a little bit like the forest, but it also had a sweet scent to it. Soon you get engulfed by the peace and quiet around, finally falling asleep in the comfort of his scent. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When you woke up in the morning, Jungkook wasn't here. You can’t recall him entering the tent after he left for the shower nor getting close to you again. But soon enough his footsteps enter the confined space making you sit up. 

“Slept well?” He asked while starting to gather his stuff, putting everything into a big wood box. You just stared at him blankly trying to process everything happening. 

“I asked if you slept well, sugar.” That damned nickname again. “Yeah, I guess you could say so, better than caves and leaf beds.” He hums, pleased. “Then we should get going, people are waiting for us back in the city.” He throws next to you what seems to be your clothes, now washed and dried overnight.

You go out after you’re done and with Jungkook’s help you step for the first time in a car. 

You can see some men get in the front seats while others help boarding up all types of boxes and gear.

“Do we leave for good?” I ask looking outside the window “Do you want to live in the forest?” He says mockingly. “When I said you were lucky it wasn’t a joke, today we are supposed to swap places with another pluton, if you were to cross today, your fate wouldn’t be as lucky.” 

You didn’t know what to say after that, part of you wanted to let Jungkook know you are at least a little thankful for his acts, but your mind drifts to the thoughts of Mai, Yun-Mi and Jia. You hope they are safe.

Jungkook forbade you to talk about them, telling you that his man won’t dare to stand in front of him, let alone say something about what happened. And safe to say he ensured that if you were smart enough you would live a peaceful and decent life by his side, outside of ruins and misery. … Entering the city you were slightly mesmerized, it was not of luxury, but at least it wasn’t run down or bombarded like the place you came from. 

You stopped after a long ride in front of a pretty big house, with a beautiful front garden and even a fountain and a swing on the side. 

“We are here” Jungkook said, getting out of the car and helping you out, once again, showing a warmer side to you. “What is this place?” You asked, looking around, trying to take in every detail. 

“It’s my family’s house, let’s get inside.” But before you could take on, a lady’s screams could be heard.

“Jungkook, my days, you’re back!” The lady, looking young as well, with long and black hair flowing down her shoulders, beautiful clothes and even well done make-up jumped in his arms, hugging him tight, her lips coming in contact with his cheek.

“Hey! Long time no see!” Jungkook hugged back, bright smile on his face, and for the first time you felt weird, almost…small like. 

Yes, you only knew him for a day, but the fact that he wants to marry you out of the blue yet he’s having women jump him right when he arrives home makes you feel just a little strange, like you didn’t fit in the picture. “I thought you weren't coming back this month at how long it took! Did you eat well? You seem a little thinner than last time I saw you.” The woman lets go of him with one arm, starting to feel around his biceps for any muscle loss. Jungkook smiles even more, his head bowing a little, letting a giggle out. “I’m fine, Yuna, just tough business getting the best of me.” The girl named Yuna seems to finally notice your awkward presence, she tilts her head, eyes locking into yours, her smile disappearing quickly. “Who is she?” 

Finally the two part ways and Jungkook remembers that he also brought you along. “A shit, yes, You almost forgot.” He clears his throat scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. 

Coming closer he is taking your hand in his. “Yuna, this is Y/N.” 

His hand brushes over your shoulder coming in contact with the metal chain that rests on the base of your neck, pulling from under your ragged clothes his military tag. 

Yuna’s eyes widen when she sees you wearing his necklace, her body stiffening. You can’t help but feel like an intruder under her burning gaze. She tries to put on a smile, forced by any means. “So, you’re getting married…” That’s the only thing that managed to come out of her mouth. Jungkook smiles at you and says breathlessly “Yeah.” 

What a play pretend…

“That’s…wonderful news! I kept wondering when this was going to happen, being away from me and home all the time, I knew you would find someone to take your heart. I am so happy for you two!” Tears almost started forming in her eyes, but probably you were the only one to notice since Jungkook only thanked her lightly and started going towards the house, with your hand in his.

… “Don’t worry about meeting my father, he might seem stern, but he’s not a bad guy.” He instructs you 

“Yes.” “And don’t think he won’t like you because you are not rich or something, I am pretty sure he will be happy to know I found someone to love, even though it’s just a facade for us.” He whispers the last part.

“Yes, sure.” You were out of it, mind going blank now that you were here. He gave a small squish to your hand trying to knock some courage into you and knocked on the door, entering with you behind. “General!” He saluted, letting go of your hand, and waited for what seemed an order. “It’s fine, son, you are dismissed for today!” He got up from the chair and came over to pat him on the back. 

“I heard you did very well at the border, less people managed to escape this month, good job.” He smiled warmly. 

“Thank you, father.” They engage in some conversation that you don’t really grasp.

Instead, you stare at the ground hearing how he is so praised for doing such “horrible” things. 

Yes, it was his job after all, you knew it already. But it still felt painful thinking of all the other people that didn’t manage to escape. They exchanged some more words before his father’s eyes laid on you, same questions addressed, same acts put up. 

You only smiled at him, being as polite as possible while staying in front of such a big figure in the community. “You’re getting married!” He exclaimed with a big smile on his face when Jungkook points at the dangling tag you wear. 

“Oh thank the lord! It was about time, Jungkook!” 

Both of you were pretty embarrassed to say the least, his dad was already making plans on when the wedding should take place, where you two should stay and how many grandchildren he wanted, but to your relief Jungkook cut him short.

“Next week father, no fancy stuff, no big parties, I just want to get it done fast.” And so his smile witheres. 

“But son, this is your wedding! You will only have one, it can’t just be like this, you are a general’s son and also a highly respected member of the community!” His father argued, definitely not pleased by his son’s roughness in handling such a “big” event.

“I don’t care, I just want it done fast, you know I am not the man to celebrate such stuff. I just want to focus on future work and…my wife.” His eyes met yours, they looked brighter at you, reassuring even, making you wonder why is he so good at pretending. 

“But how about her, Y/N is this what you also want?” Your future “husband” looked a little stressed when you were addressed with such questions, not knowing whether you will comply with his act or not.

Smiling bright, you chuckle before responding. “Yes, sir, if this is what my husband wants I will comply, I trust his decisions.” You could finally see his features softening a little, relieved and happy with your answer. 

“Then…it’s set. It might not be what I dreamed of for you, but if you are fine like this then I will ask the priest to officiate the ceremony next week and move you into an apartment downtown.”

He smiled at us one last time, exchanging a few more words with his son and making the arrangements for our future before letting some maids show me around. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

7 September 1955

The days have gone by quicker ever since you got into the city. You had a nice room where you stayed alone since Jungkook’s father said it’s immoral for the both of you to share the bed before being properly wed. The food was plenty and also the facilities were high quality, and the people around seemed decently kind.

The only downside, if you could call it like this, is you haven’t seen Jungkook as often since he’s apparently very busy all the time.

However, you had your chance at speaking with some of the people around his house, collecting crumbs about him and what he truly is like. 

The place was nice, and soon you started to feel much more at peace with the future life you were going to live, finding out that despite his appearance and inappropriate runny mouth, he was a well raised man. Right now you are standing in front of a mirror, dressed in a simplish white gown, hair and make-up perfectly done and a bouquet of white flowers in your hand. This was your big day, and looking back on what happened not long ago made you realize how much you've already changed.

After today you will not be a little kid anymore, you won’t need to run away or plan a better future. Still, everything is making you unsure, giving yourself away like this, for a man you barely knew made you just a little sad. “Are you ready? Oh my, how pretty you look!” In the time you spent at Jungkook’s house you managed to get along with an older lady, Miss Min, someone that knew him ever since he was a young child. 

You talked a little and bonded over tea and biscuits in the afternoon. She was the only one that really acknowledged your presence since Yuna only gave you stingy glares and huffed when you asked her little things, clearly not being fond of you, and the others only greeted and shied away knowing you will be a sergeant’s wife. “I think I am.” You said, going over the bottom of the dress once again, making sure there are no wrinkles and then taking a deep breath. Miss Min accompanied you to the church's door, where Jungkook’s father was waiting. Since you didn’t have any parental figure next to you, he took it upon himself to lead you to the altar. Inside the place was beautiful, there was some music playing in the background, and all of the people Jungkook knew were here, everyone was either a friend or relative to him. 

His father led you to him and you took his hand into yours. Looking around once again you felt alone. His smile was reassuring in a way, trying to calm your nerves down, but you just felt empty. The ceremony went over almost too fast, the priest said what he was supposed to say until now, the moment everyone was waiting for. “Do you, Jeon Jungkook, take Y/L/N Y/N to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?” 

“Yes!” 

And then he repeats his sentence, your eyes looking into Jungkook’s. Silence took over the place waiting for your response.

What should you do next? Say yes? If this was the answer, it felt wrong. 

You could feel a squish of your hands bring you back to where you are, the reality you are supposed to live, his eyes looking sternly while waiting for your answer letting you know that blowing your cover up now was not a good idea. “Yes.” And yes you say, people cheer, but there is no smile on your face. 

In other words, you feel like crying. 

Why were you doing this? Why are you marrying this man? The ceremony continues, vows are exchanged, vows that are fake, rings are exchanged, rings that just trap you into this unreal story, tied to a man you barely met.  “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”  And now a kiss. It was supposed to be the one you love to do this with you, to take these steps with you, but it’s not and so you close your eyes, a warm and soft pair of lips meet yours for the first time in your life, the saltiness of your tears taking away from how bitter everything feels. Everyone congratulates you, they are happy, and you, once again put on your facade and tell yourself to be grateful for what you have. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Time flies and after the wedding you are in front of your new apartment, smiling and saying goodbye. 

And then you find yourself inside the living room and soon enough in the room you are supposed to share, looking dumbfounded at your now to call husband. “Take them off.” He demands, arms crossed. 

No way you’re doing this…like this! “Can’t you hear me? Take your clothes off, I want to see you.” 

Your face burns red, arms wrapped around yourself, gripping the soft fabric tighter around you. Your ears refuse to acknowledge his words.

“If you don’t then I will.” The man takes a step further and you run towards what is supposed to be the bathroom door…locked. 

“So you really want to play like this, I thought you would be more understanding.” Jungkook comes over,  his hands drag you over to the bed sitting on the edge with you in front of him.  “Take your clothes off.” Burning gaze almost rips the dress itself. There is no escape from this so you start peeling at your clothes under his stare.

First is the vail that falls from your head, next he helps you with the zipper and then there you are, all naked in front of him, hands trying to hide what’s left of your dignity. He doesn't seem satisfied however, arms still crossed, eyes still burning on your body. 

“Are you a virgin?” You look up to him in shock, eyes wide, blood rushing to your already red cheeks. 

Was this a way to shame you? Asking these types of vulgar questions, making you do such things in front of him. “Is this your way to humiliate me?” You ask, voice small. “Nope, not at all.” You feel tears burning into the corner of your eyes, arms bending even more trying to make you disappear. 

“Is this embarrassing to you?” He asks curiously. 

“Yes…” you say in a whisper, hoping to ease some of the shame he’s making you feel. 

The man gets up, still fully clothed, big hands push you gently on the bed. 

You close your eyes, expecting something to happen, but you only feel a cold piece of material being thrown over you, a blanket. 

You are looking back at him confused, wondering if he’s just playing with you or making fun of you, but when you see him take off his clothes as well, you start to panic a little, not knowing where to look. “There you go, are you feeling better now that we both are naked?” You can’t look at him, body burning up under the covers. If you could dig a hole and crawl into it you would do so. 

Once again you expect him to do something, but he goes out of the room leaving you naked on the bed. Maybe he’s crazy, you think, but when you see him return with a knife you get worried. “What are you doing with that?” Gulping you asked. “Well it’s clear you have no idea of what we are supposed to do, and, to be honest, you don’t even seem fond of having sex with me.” You gasp at the boldness of his words. “See, you can’t even bear to hear the word itself!” “Meanwhile, just the thought of doing it LIKE this, makes me uncomfortable. It can’t even get up, see?” And you look at his member then away once again, making Jungkook laugh. 

“How about the knife, what are you doing with it?” Your mind is still filled with worry.

“You see, everyone expects us to consummate the marriage, Nana Min will come tomorrow to clean up. But since we can’t right now, I need to make it believable. I will just snip my finger a little, they won’t know where the blood came from anyways.” You try to calm down, at least he’s not forcing you into stuff, it’s just that, it’s weird. Doing so much for something so fake, he’s really on the long run. With a small wince he cuts himself a little on his palm, letting a few drops of blood to stain the covers. “Done.” The boy wipes his hand with a spare cloth until the blood stops and then crawls into the bed, laying on his back. “Let’s just go to sleep.” 

You stay seated at the edge of the bed, covers still fully on you so Jungkook takes this as a sign to try and comfort you, finally feeling a little bad about the way he acted towards you. 

Gently, pulling you back, until you lay flat against the bed, he unwraps the cocoon you created around you and pulls the sheet over both of you, leaving a little space in the middle so your naked bodies don’t touch. “You’re worried?” He asks. “I am.” You respond, turning your back to him.

“We can talk if you want too, don’t be so closed around me, aren’t I your husband?” “Fake husband, Jungkook, everything about this is fake.” Jungkook hums. 

“Yes, but…it doesn't mean we can’t work it better.” He proposes. “What even is the purpose? You don’t love me and I don’t love you.” You say revolted. "Y/N. How can I explain this to you?” He sighs. 

“I know we don’t know each other, and this is a play pretend right now, but we can work it out, we just need some time?” “Time for what?” You sound defeated, and so you feel, especially everytime you’re standing in front of this man, if you can’t read him, how can you even get close to him later on?  

“For the fact that I’m not as unfond of you as you think.” He blurts out taking you by surprise. “What?” You turn to face him, letting him see your tears, his hand coming to your cheek to wipe them away. “Come on, do you really think I would go this far for someone I want nothing to do with? Getting married, saving you and what not? I can’t say I love you right now, I just met you. But…you seem nice and I won’t complain if I get to spend my time with you.” You scoff shoving his hands away.

“So you only saved me because…I seem nice?” You prop on your elbow and look at him. “Yeah, and fierce, and determined, not someone who will beg for her life like all the others do, you seem like a strong woman who actually wants to do something in her life.” He also props himself on his elbow, looking at you with soft eyes. “I could’ve just sent you there with the others, but something in me just decided to keep you, that’s why we are here.” A fresh new wave of tears threaten to fall from your eyes “So you want to tell me, that you only got me to this point because I was appealing to you, like…an easy catch?” You scoff once again. “Yes, shitty reason, but these are my valid feelings, and I’m sorry if they hurt you.” You could feel the anger bubbling in your veins and it wasn’t even for Jungkook. He thought you were just a nice piece of meat he could have, and he was right. You just fell into his den and now he can just devour you whenever he feels like, only because you were that dumb.

You offered yourself to him without a fight since that seemed to be the most profitable option for you back then. 

“You think I’m a jerk right?” Oh and so much more, but now this is the jerk you are stuck with.

“Yes, I do, a big one, thinking of me as just an object you could have.” “You’ll learn to love me one day. I don’t plan on getting away from you.” The sincerity his eyes hold just confirmed everything you needed to know and “Never.” was your answer, deep inside knowing that this was not how things will be. Those were the last words spoken that night, before a sigh left his lips, probably tired and unsure himself of all of this.

You turned around, body seated as far as possible from him, emotions running wild, letting only time say how this will unfold. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

22 December 1955

And time truly heals, at first it felt horrible, long days spent inside these walls, your husband being away, not like it mattered that much since you two were not making it easier for each other, being at each other's throats almost everyday. 

It’s been a month since you met, and then it’s been two, then three, and things started to calm down. 

And now you stay in front of your oven, almost end of December, eyes sparkling while looking at how beautifully the snowflakes fall from the sky before getting lost in the darkness of the night. 

The smell of baked cookies fills the apartment, maybe not as big as his father’s, but big enough for you two. 

Jungkook is not home yet, or so you think, but when you feel two strong arms wrapping around you from behind you can’t help but get startled. “Did I scare you bun?” His voice was gentle, his cold embracing slowly becoming filled with your warmth. Things did get better, and he was right. 

It took a while for him to pull at your heart strings, but once he started it was way too hard to stop. 

First, it was the nicknames, then he started to give you some of the space you needed to explore what you like, coming across your knitting hobby. 

He made sure you felt spoiled, always bringing back stuff so you could cook and bake for him since you were fond of homemade food, and he became fond of your cooking. 

He became more gentle and opened up about a lot of stuff to you, and slowly so did you. It was coming along nicely, you were both learning how to love each other. “What are you making?” He asked while sniffing the air. “Just some basic cookies, Christmas is right around the corner and I need to prepare. You said we are going to visit your father and I thought we could also bring some goods to him.”

He nozzles his nose on the side of your neck, a new stuff he likes to do to bring some butterflies in your stomach. “Did Nana Min come around today?” He asks while leaving a kiss on your cheek. “Yes, she did.” 

Ever since the first night here, lady Min made sure you two had great comfort, being his maid for so long already made things easier, and you don’t want to admit it but her presence did make you two get closer faster. “You smell nice.” His hands leave your waist and start getting dangerously low for your liking. Even though you two have been married for quite some time, you were still uneasy when Jungkook initiated things further than kissing, that also being a step taken very hard in your relationship.

He didn’t want to pressure you either, into doing something you possibly wouldn’t enjoy, but as he said once, he was a man and his needs started growing a little beyond the line, especially since you two started getting way closer. Stuff like intimacy was discussed before, he knew you didn’t have experience and you found out he lingered around sometimes, from having a few flings here and there to actually going to the more “exclusive” places of your times where you can pay for such services.

You were a little horrified to find about this, but he assured it was long in the past, just when his youth was kicking in, and it’s been years since he stopped going there. However, he did say he’s never gone with a virgin, so the doubts were still there, both of you felt them.

Your body rigids when his hands slips under your blouse. “Jungkook.” You try to warn him, but his mouth starts leaving small kisses to the side of your neck. 

“Relax baby.” And you try, until one of his hands slips under your bra, cupping your right breast. You whimper a little, eyes closing and only then Jungkook knows he’s gotten you right where he wanted once again. “Let’s go upstairs.” He stops the oven, leaving the cookies half baked, slowly guiding you to the bedroom. Hungry lips come in contact with yours even before entering the room, and you could feel that everything about this is different, but you don’t stop.

You learned now that he will never hurt you or go beyond something you don’t like, you just need to tell him and he’ll stop. “Can I take this off?” He asked since your bra straps were already going down your arms under your blouse. Jungkook’s hands were already toying with your breasts, yet he still was sweet enough to ask if he could remove your upper wear. 

“Yeah, please do so.” Your small voice was not uncertain yet, truth to be told, you’ve gone a few times through him groping and kissing on your body, more or less naked, but he never dared to touch beyond that, and you always made sure to stop him out of your own fears. With careful hands Jungkook takes off your blouse, unclasps your bra and lays you down on the bed, head right between the pillows. His lips trail down from your neck to your chest, stopping right above your breast before taking your nipple right on. He manages to rip a louder moan out of you, your back arching at the feeling making him grin. His hands help you out of your skirt, now only in your pair of panties in front of him, and when one of them starts to play with your underwear that’s when you let all of your insecurities take the better of you.

“Jungkook, stop.” You rise from the bed and try to avoid his gaze, you know he’s annoyed with your behavior, always stopping him before things become more serious, but he also realizes how scary this is for you. 

Your hands grip the sheets, eyes getting teary in frustration, a warm hand cups your face. “Look at me, Y/N.” Head turning slowly, soft dark brown eyes bore into yours. “We are never getting past this if you don’t trust me.” He says a little worried. “But I do trust you…I just…don’t trust me.” You sniffle and wipe the tear that just fell from your eye. The man in front of you giggles, he pulls his uniform off, leaving him only in his boxers and he rests his head on your shoulder leaving feathery kisses. “I told you I don’t care, good or bad I want you.”

You also rest your head on his shoulder, more tears wetting his skin in annoyment with yourself. “Will you be gentle with me?” He hums, wrapping his arms around your body, dragging you on his lap, letting you feel how hard he is for you. “I will go easy, and if you feel really bad just tell me to stop.” He lays you back eyes looking for reassurance before sliding your last piece of clothing off your body, and you give him the green after so long. Jungkook feels excitement bubbling inside him and he tries not to let his feelings get the best of him at this moment. 

“You look so pretty.” His palms start rubbing your legs up and down before parting them to look right where he wanted. One of your hands makes their way down quickly, but before you can hide away he takes your hand away making you whine. 

“Don’t look, please!” You say, embarrassment running through your veins “Then what am I supposed to do? I want to see it.” His comments always bold, making you bright red for him. “I have to touch you a little, you won’t be able to take it otherwise.” You bite your lips at his remark, already too embarrassed to say anything. You saw him, not once after that night, sometimes soft, sometimes hard, he was a lot. 

It worried you a little, however, his touch on your private parts made even the clearest part of your mind cloud. He touched lightly, playing with the bundle of nerves first, making you feel stuff you’ve never felt before, and then you felt it, one of his fingers, thick and slightly rough to the feeling, entering you. “Oh my God!” Your whole body contracted. It felt weird, not exactly bad, but weird, a new feeling. 

“Shhh, relax for me.” He made sure to kiss and caress you in such a way you wouldn’t feel the second going in just after. And slowly, you whimpered and squirmed around as he was pumping them in and out. 

“I don’t think I like this.” You say, a strange new feeling already developing inside of you. “You’re just close, don’t worry, you will feel better in a second.” He picked up his pace, thumb rubbing over your clit every time he pushed his fingers into you. “This is scary, please.” 

His lips reassure you a little when they make contact with your temple. “It’s going to be better, let it out, my soul.” And you overspill, all the emotions that bottled up spill right in that moment, a wave of pleasure washes over you making you almost scream. It takes you a minute to get down from the high you just had, your husband whispering how good you did for him while his hands leave your fluttering count. You close your eyes for a little until you hear some rustling around you. Jungkook is getting out of the bed, boxers still on hard cock threatening to escape out of them. 

“Where are you going?” You ask confused, awaken fast from the mind blowing pleasure you just felt. “I’ll run you a bath, I’ll be right back.” You rush to get up, hand managing to catch his.

“But why? Are we finished yet?” He smiles gently at you and pats your head. “You are a little overwhelmed right now, you just had your first ever orgasm, my love. Don't worry about me, if we go further it might be too much for you.” 

He tries to soften your grip and go but you hold even tighter. “No!” You jump out of the bed with wobbly legs, dragging him towards the bed and making him sit down on the edge. “You’re just working me up for nothing? I’ve been waiting for this and now that I have the courage you stop? What kind of man ar…” You try to revolt and anger him a little. And you also obtain what you want, he turns you around manhandling you, face in the sheets, his hard on pressing on your bum making you gasp. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, I won’t be able to stop if we continue.” 

You turn your head to the left looking up at him, eyes clouded. “Maybe I don’t want you to stop.” He growls a little, warning you. “This attitude you have! Y/N, I don’t want to hurt you in any way, it will just make this experience bad for you.” 

He lets go and you turn around. “Please, I want this.” You beg him to please your wishes making him sigh once again, head dropping, finally giving in to your desires. “Just…hit me if it hurts or I don’t stop.” He crawls back in bed, sitting once again on top of you, his hand slip his boxers off, knocking the breath out of your lungs when you see him stand so tall in front of you, hand gripping his hot cock, his eyes clouded by his own desires.

“Spread nicely for me, love.” And you do so, much more confidently this time, excited even. Jungkook looks down at you, seeing how small you look under him, a little unsure if he really wants to continue, but you seem so excited to finally let things happen, so he caves in. Pumping himself a few times he rubs up and down to collect some of your left over wetness, his hand guiding the tip at your entrance. “It will hurt .” He warns. “It’s fine, I trust you, Jungkook.” You whisper, making his heart skip a beat knowing that you trust him so much. He bites his lip and with a small nudge he pushes lightly past the ring of your entrance looking over for any reaction, anything and he will pull out instantly.

You seem quiet and calm so he gathers some more courage to push just a little further, just until his head is in, and then he looks over to you seeing the signs already, tears pulling in your eyes and fists lightly clumping his pillow. 

“I’ll stop.” “No!” You say once again, more determined to try new stuff with the man you are finally in love with. ‘But you are in pain, love.” He coos softly. “Just do it please, it’s not that bad.” Jungkook pushes further and further until he is almost fully in, his face comes closer to yours just to kiss your lips and face and soothe the pain away, letting you adjust to the new feeling, giving him a nudge when you feel ready.

“I’ll move now, tell me if it’s too much.” And he slowly pulls out, a few droplets of blood staining the sheets. You moan harshly when he pushes in again, this time fitting all of himself inside you. 

And he holds you through the pain until you start to claw at his back, more sounds coming out of the both of you. “It’s starting to feel good.” You breathlessly say while the man above you seems to have his mind almost out of this world. It doesn't take much for the feeling to start appearing once again, warm bubbles forming in your tummy. “I’m close.” You say calmly, knowing what’s about to happen. “Me too, baby.” Your husband whispers breathlessly.  

Jungkook’s starts being a little rough making you whine while your walls contract at the sudden peace. “It’s just me baby, relax for me.” He says making you melt in his embrace. 

In a second the bubbles burst making you arch your back, scratching Jungkook’s with your nails in the process. And soon you feel it, the sloppy pace, the trembling and the even warmer feeling within your walls. Maybe you were inexperienced, but you knew what this meant. “Jungkook, did you…” Both of you were trying to catch your breath. “I’m sorry…I came inside…I told you I can’t stop.” The boy was ashamed, not being careful could lead to greater consequences, and he, for sure, did not want to knock you up on the first night you shared your love. 

Slowly he pulls out, looking at the mess he’s made, saying sorry once again. “If I get pregnant, you’re in big trouble, mister.” You laugh a little pulling him down for a kiss. 

“But until then let’s wash you up, you must be tired.” He says picking you up and carrying you in the bathroom. Life just gets sweeter and sweeter from a point, that’s what everyone says. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4 March 1956 Thankfully you didn’t manage to get pregnant from your first try, or second, or third, and the many more that followed after. At a point you even wondered if it was possible for you to carry. But your husband was not worried, he always said “When’s the time, it will happen.” 

To be honest, you think he was just grateful he didn’t have to worry about protection. You were at Jungkook’s family house right now. He was on his border shift and whenever that would happen, you would stay over with his father and the others. 

Winter was finally over, flowers started to bloom again and the weather was pretty warm for the beginning of spring. 

You were waiting patiently, it was time for your husband to return and everyone waited eagerly ever since they heard this month, due to their skilled squad, nobody managed to pass the border. 

You got used to it by now, old events long forgotten, your mind and soul accepting Jungkook’s work more and more, after all it was also part of him. Playing with the chain of your silver necklace, rocking on the swing in the front garden, looking outside through the thick fence at the various people passing by. Humming gently while letting the breeze run through your locks, a surprised voice calling your name. “Y/N?” You look up, eyes widening in surprise, happiness washing over you at the sight of Yun-Mi. She looked ravaged, her clothes were pretty dirty and she had some visible bruises on her, not to mention the prominent belly she was carrying. You wanted to say hi, to ask her how she’s doing, what happened all this time, worried about how did she end up in this state, but before your body to make a move Jungkook’s words came up in your mind “Those girls are not your friends anymore, we don’t speak of them, and if you want to live good then you follow what I say and be obedient, understood?”So you stop, you can’t do this. You avert her gaze and slowly get off the swing, turning your back to her, feet rushing to get inside. You hear her scream, her hands open the gate running after you. “You can’t do this to me! Why are you pretending you don’t know me?!” “I don’t know you! Please leave, this is private property!” You look back, she’s struggling with all that’s going on, but you don’t stop. In front of the door Yuna appears out due to all the noise and screams. You look at her expecting to call some guards, or do something about the situation but she just sits there, a small grin plastering her face in satisfaction. Within seconds, you fall to the ground, your feet tripping over a stone. Yun-Mi’s body turns you around, getting her form on top of you, one of her hands gripping your hair while the other hits the arms that tries to cover your face. “Get off me!” You scream in pain. “How can you do this! Filthy bitch! You don’t know me anymore? You don’t want to know what I went through while you lived a good life?!” And she hits even harder, tears coming out, running on your face. You close your eyes expecting more, but the only thing you can hear is her yelping. With trembling hands you try to arrange your hair. Looking up, your eyes only see the very furious figure of your husband, his hands gripping Yun-Mi’s hands above her head. 

“How can this happen in my yard, on my property!” His soldiers drag Yun-Mi’s body out of the garden while she’s pulling up a rage fit, screaming insults. Jungkook doesn't look at you first, his eyes lay on the girl in front of his house, who’s now avoiding his gaze, his father coming out from behind her shock plastered on his face. 

“What is happening here?” He rushes over to see my state. Jungkook grits his teeth, heavy and fast steps taken towards Yuna, both me and his father turn around to watch him. His hand came in contact with her arm, pulling her towards him. “Why did you let this happen?” Yuna bows her head, avoiding his glance. “Yuna, I’m asking one more time. Why did you let this woman hurt my wife?”  She looks at him through her lashes, biting her lips, spitting venomous words between her teeth. “She deserves it for stealing you away from me.” Slap Her face turns to the side, eyes widening and tears gathering in them. The man shakily exhales, his hand running through his hair in anger. 

“If you ever let my wife get hurt and do nothing about it, I will throw you out on the streets. Remember who brought you here and be grateful, not a greedy bitch who wants a married man’s attention.” With a low, dark tone he tells her. He’s finally coming closer to you, his father scolds him for hitting a woman, but he doesn’t seem to care. He tries to be gentle with you, but you can see he's still full of rage. “Are you okay, my soul?” You shake the dust of your dress, brushing your hair back, collecting the few strands that fall. “Yeah, I’m fine, a bit scuffed, that’s all.” He sighs, helping you get up from the ground. “Let’s get you inside and clean your wounds, I have something to discuss with my father.” He takes your hand in his and helps you inside the house, passing by Yuna whose body was on the ground, shaking from all the crying. Lady Min took care of you while Jungkook and his father went into his office to discuss. It didn’t take long to hear the shouting and arguing, at a point even some glass smashing to the ground.

“Oh my, what is happening in there? Today is not a good day.” She bandages you with worry and by the time she is done your husband storms more enraged out of his father’s office. “Come on Y/N, we’re leaving.” Using your name surely startled you, after months of being used to praises, your name felt strange coming out of his mouth. “You are not doing as you please, Jungkook! This is not your decision to take!” His father screams while going after him. “You can’t make me stay, this is my life! I’m 25 for fuck’s sake! I am allowed to make my own decisions!” And with that his hand grabs yours, pulling you out of the house, and pushing you into the backseat of his car. 

His dad still screaming after his son, but he wouldn’t turn back. He buckles up into the driver’s seat and drives you home. … “Pack up, tonight I’m coming for you.” He said sternly after you two entered the house. “Jungkook, what’s happening? Where are we going? Why were you fighting with your father?” He pinches the bridge of his nose, annoyed. “Answer me, please.”  You could see him clench his fists. “Pack up I said! And don’t ask stupid questions!” He growls violently back at you. Startled by his anger, you bow your head and nod, a little scared by his actions. What was happening to him all of a sudden?  You wanted to have answers, to not be in the shadows, clearly he didn’t want you to know. But you could only wonder, did something bad happen? Your husband sighs and comes closer to you, pulling you into his embrace, finally trying to calm his nerves down. “I’m sorry, love, didn’t mean to scream at you. Just pack up and I’ll explain to you on the way.” He kisses your temple going out of the door and right back at the car, leaving you alone in the cold and empty house.

… Packing up was definitely a challenge for you since there were many things you had now and don’t know if you need, but after a few hours you think you finally have everything essential down. 

The sky is dark now, a car stops in front of your door, and one of Jungkook’s soldiers boards your items in the trunk. In the backseat, your husband reads over some documents, his eyes soften when he sees you enter, he is way calmer now. “Hey.” His hand comes in contact with your hair, brushing gently through it. “Hey” You respond with a small smile, hands fidgety. “I know you are confused, but don’t worry. I’ll explain everything to you.” And he does. He told you how some of his soldiers died in a border attack, and how he was tired of doing this work, always seeing his mates pass away. He put up a petition to move departments and work in city patrolling and other governmental work instead, and it got approved. 

Not by his father though, who taught he doesn't have to move away in another city and work with the government, that sparked the argument between the two. He insisted on his son staying close to home since the war was getting rougher with many more enemy squads were coming closer to habitable places, the borders being attacked more often. 

But Jungkook made his decision, he was a 25 years old man after all, he needed to think about his whereabouts more and also take into consideration all ways to keep you safe. 

And now there were you going, another city, another house, another life to live. Looking into the night, part of you was conflicted. You knew your husband only wanted the best for you and himself, but leaving behind all that he knew, friends and family, was this really a good decision?  Your thoughts were all over the place with everything that happened too. I guess you could say your husband noticed your worries since he took you into his embrace, cuddling you close to the heart that was now beating only for you, your eyes slowly closing while listening to it, letting go of your worries for tomorrow.

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21 July 1956 

Months have gone by fast in the new city. At first, accommodation was hard. You knew no one and making friends was not an option when Jungkook, a highly seen sergeant now working with the government, was your husband. 

The place was poorer than the one you lived in before, that’s why people avoided you, being commoners made them afraid to engage so they don’t end up in prison or enslavement. In this case you remained alone, now already used to the feeling. However, your husband was more often at home since his duties didn’t make him take so much time apart, mostly working in the place you are settled. This also makes it easier for you to get even more closer to each other, almost a year passed since your meeting. Dates occurring more often, just like right now.  The last few days it rained quite a bit, but now the weather is starting to warm up again, making it perfect for spending your time out. And after spending so much boring time in your house, you filled a little basket with goods, took a nice blanket and urged your husband to get out for your little picnic, it was his day off after all, he should enjoy it. “Come on, Jungkook! Be a little faster!” You found yourself on a little hill right outside the city, it was pretty similar to the one you had back home, but with a better view and not as dangerous. You let your basket down, hands spreading the blanket nicely between the taller grass and the pretty summer wildflowers. Your husband chuckles at your eagerness, his back laying on the blanket while watching you rummage through the goods. “I hope I didn’t forget anything at home.” His hands pat your back urging you to lay down next to him. “We will enjoy what you brought, honey. Just sit and enjoy for now.” You sigh and shoot him a glance, but quickly conform and lay next to him staring at the clouds in the sky. “There are many clouds today, I hope it won’t rain.” Jungkook hums next to you, closing his eyes, enjoying the summer breeze. “I want to do it.”  You sit up so fast, clearly taken aback by his words, making him grin. Sure, you learned the hard way that he is the type of man who gets what he wants when he wants it, but right now? “Are you serious? This is supposed to be a nice evening that we both enjoy!” You nag at him. “And we will both enjoy it, I promise.” His arms wrap around your waist, dragging his body closer, lips make contact to your clothed thigh. 

Your hands try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge. “Jungkook, not now! We are in the open eye and…and what if someone just stumbles across us doing inappropriate things? That’s only going to ruin your reputation and make me want to vanish from the face of earth!” You try to fight back but in vain, his hands push you down to lay back on the blanket, his body hovering above you. Your hands grip his biceps, trying to stop him from running your skirt upwards, but when his sweet lips melt on the side of your neck you loosen up a little, letting him do whatever he wants. Soon enough the skirt of your dress is ridden above your waist, panties long forgotten to the side. Jungkook smirks while looking at how wet and glistening you are. “I missed this, I’ve been so busy lately that I forgot how pretty you look.” You slap his hand lightly, being embarrassed. He hums thinking about something, while you just lay there expecting his touch. “Is everything alright?” You ask, a little worried when he doesn’t touch you. “I’m contemplating on what to do, my fingers are dirty so I can’t use them, and going without prepping you will hurt.” 

Oh…he was just so thoughtful that it just melted you. You wanted to tell him that he can just put it in, you’ll endure. But before you can say anything his lips come in contact with your warm clit. You gasp in shock, fingers already tangling in his hair to try and push him away. He’s never done this to you before.  “Oh my lord! What are you doing!” But he doesn't budge, he only sucks harder around your folds, making you lean your head back moaning loudly. One of his hands pushes you down before coming to spread your thighs even more. His lips and tongue working wonders on you, almost making you forget about everything around, but getting you so, so flustered by all the slurping and licking sounds that fly in the air. Soon you feel your high coming and when the tip of his tongue brushes past your entrance you lose it, a high pitched moan leaving your throat while stars start to appear in the day sky. You breathe heavily, chest running up and down, legs shaking. Jungkook emerges from the skirt that fell down over his heads, lips glossy and grin almost as big as his pride from making you come so fast. “I think you are prepared enough now.” He pulls your skirt back up, gripping your legs and putting them over his shoulders, almost folding you in half. 

“I don’t want to know where you learn all of these nasty things from.” You say, finally getting back to your senses, only for a short time though. He laughs and pushes in, his cock sliding in and bottoming out instantly at how well prepped you were. “Would you look at that?” He cockily says. It only took him a few seconds of accommodation before starting to thrust quickly into you, making your breast almost spill from the confinement of your top. His lips eagerly nudge at your neck, hands not letting your legs slip from his shoulders. “Don’t worry, sunflower, you were the first one to try this one, until today I only see it done by others.” He whispers in your ears, making you clench tightly around him. Your arms grab him by his neck, pulling him closer, sweet sounds pouring into his ears making him hiss. “I’m embarrassed right now, you always pull stunts like this.” He laughs wholeheartedly, peace never slowing down. 

He gets up from your chest, eyes staring lovingly into yours before he stretches upwards, making him go even deeper if possible, also taking a moan out of you when you feel his tip gently nudge your cervix. “You’re a little deep…” Your heart flutters, fingers gently caressing his face. You could feel so much love all around you. Feeling your second orgasm come close, you turn your head looking at the sky above. It felt like you were the only ones under it at this moment. “I’m close, love.” You say. Jungkook’s peace also starts to wither, getting close to his own high. “Me too, my soul.” In an instant the love blooms between you two, your bodies burning up with passion and desire, the knots untying letting you claim each other once again. Both of you breath heavily, sweat running down your foreheads. He doesn’t pull out, but his arm reaches above your head, pushing him a little deeper once again, making you whine.

He comes down quickly not to hurt you, placing a daisy in your messy hair. “My beautiful flower.” He whispers, rough hands caressing the soft skin of your face making you blush even more. He collapses on top of you, your legs falling off his shoulders, but still feeling a little uncomfortable from all the soreness that’s appearing.  “Can you pull out, please?” “Nope.” He raises his head smiling smugly. “I’m getting sore.” “Sorry baby, but I’m starting to get a little worried by now. It’s been a year yet you are still not pregnant, not that I’m eager for a child, but I wonder what’s happening here.” He smiles and pecks your lips quickly.

“So these are your worries now? Weren’t you the one who said when it’s time it will come?” You scoff. “But it’s been long, what if you can’t get pregnant?” 

You frown a little, baby talking was a pretty sensitive topic, especially after so much trial and error. You didn't think it would affect you in any way, you were still young and if it was to come you will be more than happy to welcome a little bundle of joy. 

Jungkook didn’t seem very fond of the idea of having a baby either in the beginning, always saying how he was too busy to care for one. However, you are a little hurt now. Giving him a child is a dream of yours, but if that doesn’t happen, is your relationship going to stay the same? Maybe he will leave you for someone else that can give him one. Worry and insecurity starts growing into your veins. “It hurts, can you please get off.” You start to wiggle and he finally complies, pulling out and wiping you clean with a napkin. “It hurts badly? Did I hurt you?” He also grows worried, pulling your leg to inspect whether he hurt you badly or not. “It seems just like any other time after we’ve done it? Where does it hurt?” He asks, concerned. 

“Here…” You point to your heart, hurt more by the thoughts of him possibly leaving you for someone else then the soreness between your legs. 

He takes your hand in his and looks over you with worry. “Why? Is it bad, do we need to see a doctor?” You shake your head sitting up. “Will you leave me?” He tilts his head holding your hand close to his chest. “Leave you, no. Why would you think that?” “Because I might not be able to bear your children.” You sniffle. He laughs and puts your palm under his shirt, right where his heart sits. “Do you feel this? It beats for you and you only. Even if we can’t have them, this, what I feel for you…will never fade away, trust me.” The sincerity in his eyes and words make you tear up, cuddling closer to his chest to listen to the way his heart beats. And you stay close, holding each other until the sun almost dies down, enjoying his presence and eating all the goods you made. Packing everything up, Jungkook helps you on your feet, hands grabbing the basket and blanket. Thick and dark clouds covering what’s left of the sun. “I think it will rain tonight.” “Yes, so do I, we better hurry. I’m already dirty and I don’t want to wash up in the rain.” With quick steps you get back to the city. Welcomed by agitation right from the beginning. You grasp Jungkook’s hand tight and stick closer to him. “What is happening?” He asks, concerned.

We make our way into the madness, the rain starting to pour all of a sudden. Nobody can say anything, they just wander around, running and gathering what seems to be their belongings. Are they leaving? With heavy steps and hearts you arrive in front of your house, a car filled with military men waiting in front. “Stay here.” Jungkook instructs you, leaving the basket in your hands and covering your head with the blanket. 

You try to get closer to hear what’s happening, but all that you can see is Jungkook’s worried eyes. He gulps thickly and turns to you for a brief second, finally letting you see his glossy eyes. Without a word he jumps in the car and leaves. You remain alone on the streets, clothes drenched, the wooden basket falling from your hands on the ground. You stare into nothingness not wanting to believe that he just left without an explanation after sharing so much love. After what seemed to be an eternity, your sore and cold body finally moves. With shaky hands you pick up all the food that spilled on the road, most of it washed by the rain. Unknowingly tears start running down your face. You gathered everything and went inside. It was warm, but you just felt cold. 

After you wash up and lay in bed you can finally let all your emotions run wild, painful sobs being heard around the room in hopes of someone hearing them.

All you could do was wait…wait for his answers, wait for him to return home.

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19 August 1956 It’s been almost a month. A month since Jungkook left and never returned. You waited for a sign, you waited for him to show up at your door and jump in your arms. You always told yourself that no apologies can make you forgive him for this, but the truth is that you only needed to see his eyes, to feel his warmth and you know you will forget anything that has happened. You tried getting answers, but nobody knew much. You asked other military man to drive you to where he was, knowing that they knew where he was, but in vain. You were stuck for almost a month in this city, living like a widow instead of a happy wife. But now you know, a soldier came into the city and you overheard him saying how General Jeon was on death bed due to being injured in an attack in the city, his son getting ready to take his place. You almost fainted out of shock, not wanting to believe that was the truth, the reason your husband left without a trace. With the little power you had, after being drained out for so long, you gathered some necessities and jumped in the first communal carrier that was passing through the old city you lived in. And there you were, after many hours spent on the road, feet planted in front of the Jeon family house. The look of the place now eerie due to the attack of the enemies. You step inside the big garden, once decorated with pretty flowers, now only dirt and mud covering the yard, even the swing was just a pile of broken wood. Getting closer to the door you could feel your feet soften, shaking hands come in contact with the door knob. You enter, the house seeming devoid of life. Putting the little suitcase you carried down you scan the place for any movements. From the corner of your eyes you could see Jungkook’s father's office with a slightly open door. Your feet take slowly towards it, peeking through the gap. A figure sits lonely in the chair, head resting on the desk. Your heart skips a beat when you notice the messy hair of someone you know very well, Jungkook. Slowly you make your way in admiring his sleepy figure after all this time. His eyes carried dark circles under them, tired by all the work he had to do. Your hand makes its way to his locks, now just a little longer than you remember, but just as soft. You can’t help but let out a sigh at the sight of him, slight pang growing in your heart. He must have felt your touch, stirring in his sleep until his eyes opened and looked at you. He is shocked, jumping from his chair, strengthening his posture looking like he’s just seen a ghost. 

“Long time no see.” It’s the only thing you can say after so long. You had so many questions you wanted to ask, but it was hard to form them. “Y/N…” He mutters, hands rubbing his eyes in confusion, wondering if you would disappear. But you are still here, yet too calm. 

“You came.” He says. “You left me.” You respond.

He avoids your gaze, conscious of his actions and behavior. “I had no choice, my father is sick, I had to return, and…” “Stop, Jungkook.” He looks up at you, goosebumps appearing on his skin from your stern voice. “I don’t want to hear your nonsense, you left me. Why did you leave me?” He puts his hand on his forehead, eyes closing, trying to think of something to say. “I didn’t leave you, this is temporary, I would’ve returned to you, I would’ve come back home.” He argues back.

“When? I waited for a sign from you for almost a month.” You sniffle, eyes burning with tears that threaten to fall, the feeling way too overwhelming. 

“I waited for a letter, or a call! Someone to just appear at my door with any information. Hell, anything would’ve done!” You spit out in a blurry rush, afraid that he might just disappear again, leaving you alone and cold.  

“But you? You just left me there without any care, to rot and die from missing you so goddamn much…” You try to swallow the boulder you feel in your throat, but nothing can stop the feelings who already overspiled. Jungkook turns his head, eyes getting teary as well. “I had no choice, Y/N. He’s dying...” “And so was I!” Your fist hits his desk, rage burning like the salty tears that run on your face. “I was dying little by little everyday! I lived with you being away because I knew you would return. But now…you left without a word, I was worried sick! I didn’t think I'd see you again!” You bite your lip, the pressure making it almost bleed. “Stay out of it.” Your shoulders slouch, figure softening at his words. “Go back home and stay out of it, Y/N.” He looks sternly at you, after all this time still pulling this stupid obedience game. You’ve had enough. “If you don’t want me here and just continue to push me away, throwing me into the shadows then so be it, but don’t expect me to welcome you into my house, or my bed, or my heart anymore.” You grip with cold hands the tag that you wore for almost a year. In a swift motion, take it down from your neck, making Jungkook widen his eyes. “Don’t you dare!” He says, voice shaking. “Screw you.” Your hands throw the tag on the floor, landing right at his feet, turning your back to him you run out of the room, forgetting about everything else. Jungkook's body is stiff as a stone, head trying ever so hard to process what just happened. He missed you, he missed you like crazy. He imagined in his head the way you two would meet again, the way he would make it up and make you forget that he was even away. 

He ached to have you in his arms, to feel your touch, to kiss your lips. Now all that he could do was grip the piece of cold metal in his hands, sobs leaving his body uncontrollably. 

A warm hand places itself on the crown of his head, hoping that this was not the end, that you came back and forgave him, that he didn’t just lose you forever. It was Lady Min, however. Her eyes soft and warm, holding so much pity for the boy she raised all these years. “Oh my Jungkook. My swell little boy.” She pats his head while he cries and sobs, just like she was doing when he was just a small boy. “I-I lost her. Right?” He says through hiccups making her sigh.

“You only lose something you don’t care about anymore, Jungkook.” Her hands wipe his tears and help him back on his feet. “You are a soldier yourself, young boy. Are you going to lose without a proper battle?” He wipes his tears and calms down, holding the chain tightly to his chest. “No. I don’t want to let this happen.” “Then what are you waiting for? You’ve surely made many mistakes, but we are all humans after all, it’s in our nature to make mistakes. Y/N is a sweet girl, she will forgive you.” Jungkook gets a little courage from her reassuring words. “Go after your girl, Jungook. Don’t let her break away from you.” He nods and rushes after you, hands holding the tag like his life depends on it. … Things were just as heavy for you, already regretting having such attitude towards your husband. It was getting late and you needed a place to stay, since your old apartment was most probably sold already. You sigh, trying to wipe the remaining tear stains of your face, until a hand grabs your arm. You turn away alarmed, sensing that coming your way was only trouble. A man. His uniform was one of a soldier, face grinning from ear to ear, making goosebumps appear on your skin, this guy ment danger. 

“What’s a pretty lady like you doing at such late hour? Should I accompany you home?” You gulp and try to take your arm out of his grip, keeping as well as you can composure. “I’m fine, my husband’s waiting for me.” You say trying to free up once again, hoping he gets the signal and leaves you alone, but instead, another guy makes its way towards you two. “Is there a problem here?” He asks, looking at the shorter guy in front of him. You look pleadingly, hoping that he will instruct the one in letting you go, but you are so wrong. “She’s alone at night, in such place, I figured I could help her get back home.” 

The other guy laughs and shakes his head. “It’s pretty late, you are right.” And then you see it, the nasty stares you get, the way his hand goes ever so slightly upper on your arm. “Let go of me, I am a married woman, if my husband finds out both of you will be killed.” You try to say confidently, after all it’s the truth. You just gave them a chance to not experience their eyes being carved out, because if he finds out they touched you, not even begging and praying would help. “Come on, don’t be so stiff, it’s just some fun we can have before you get home, doesn’t it sound tempting?” You shake your head, finally understanding their motives. The other hand moves to pull out Jungkook’s tag, only to touch nothing in return. 

You threw the tag at him. You start gulping harder, body tensing up and muscles starting to shake. “Let go of me, I am not joking, my husband is in high military, if he finds out you will be tortured!” The men only laugh, the second guy comes close to you, gripping your hands from the back, while the first one plays with the ties on your top. 

“Let’s see what we have here.” He says untying your top, your cleavage now on sight. “Let me go, this is your last chance!” You try to wiggle out, but it’s in vain, they are way stronger and bigger than you. His hands work fast, dragging your top low enough for your bra to be in full sight, his disgusting hands pull down your arm one strap. “Oh! So pretty, do you see this? Such a tasty dinner for us.” Tears fall once again while you still try to resist, the soldier's hand reaches to cup your breast through your bra, but it never touches it. Everything stops in time for a second and you look at his wrist, blood rushing, a huge hole in it. The soldier looks confused until the pain and shock starts to kick in and he falls to the ground. The other one lets you go, trying to run away but two more shots could be heard, and he falls to the ground with a wound on each leg. You cover your chest with your arms, looking in the distance to see your husband. Eyes burning red in anger, in his hand shining the piece of metal you needed back so much. 

He rushes over, putting his hands on your shoulders to examine whether you got hurt or not. You feel too ashamed to look at him, other men have touched and seen your body. His hands put your necklace back on, his jacket is gently placed over your shoulders. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I am here now.” He grabs your trembling body in his arms, caressing your head and back, shushing and calming you down. He grabs you even closer while some of his men appear at the scene, he made his whole pluton to look after you. 

“Sergeant! What’s your order?” The men salute him with respect. “Get them away and I don’t care what you do to them, just don't have mercy, they touched what’s mine.” He said through gritted teeth, a dangerous, dark look on his face. “Yes, sir!” They all comply and try to take the two who are crying and begging for their lives, but Jungkook doesn’t budge, he just holds you close to him until you get back to the house. … After he made absolutely sure you weren’t hurt, he let you take a bath, saying he wants to discuss once you are ready for bed. And he stayed truthful to his words this time. Entering the room also ready for bed, he comes closer to you letting his body rest. “We should talk.” You hum, turning your body away from him. “I know you are upset with me, and you have the right to be so. But I love you, Y/N, I would never want to do something as cruel as leaving you all by yourself. I should’ve explained myself first instead of just leaving like an idiot.” He comes closer to you wrapping his arms around your form from behind. You shy away at his touch. “Please, don’t hide from me, I’ve made mistakes, I know, but I am so, so sorry, forgive me.” He whispers, his nose buried in the back of your neck. You want to cry, and it’s not even for the reason he thinks, you feel disgusted about what happened. “I’m dirty now, right?” You ask biting your bottom lip. “Dirty? In what way?” He slowly asks. “They’ve seen and touched, I’m disgraceful.” you say while your hand presses the tag closer into your skin. Jungkook rests on his elbow and turns you around so you could lay on your back. Hi other hand cups gently your face. “You are not dirty nor disgraceful.” His hands caress your features gently. “Don’t feel that way, please.” “But they touched me, they almost saw me naked.” 

Jungkook leans down and kisses your eyes, then goes lower and lower, spilling praises along the way, his lips stopping at the nape of your neck. “If you really feel like this then how about you let me see and touch? I would make everything go away, my sun, you would only remember my eyes and lips on your pretty body after this, what do you think?” You look away and lightly tug at the top, loosening it for him to see and touch, and he complies. “That’s my girl.” His touch was gentle, cupping everything he could, kissing everywhere was skin.” 

It felt intimate, not lustfull or filled with desire, just intimate. His hands gently run up and down your waist while his mouth runs over every little crevice making you forget those two disgusting men even exist, imprinting only Jungkook’s lips and scent in your skin. “Are you better now? No more bad thoughts?” He asks, head resting on your chest. “Yes, and I also want to say sorry, I shouldn't have reacted like I did, it only led to trouble.” He smiles and kisses between your breasts once again, then looks up and also captures your lips in a slow and tangy kiss, something to remember. After your quick reunion, Jungkook tells you all that has happened in the city and with his father, and how the government wants him to take his father’s place and become a general. You listen to all his worries, you cry together and laugh together, sharing some love in between. You stay up all night just talking and catching up, and until dawn arrives he also reveals that you two have to move away again, in the countryside this time. They have a vacation house there, and since the enemy started getting closer and closer, it would be best for you to remain in a safer and unpopulated area. Even though not pleased with the plan, you comply, knowing that he only wants what’s best for you, and getting you hurt or potentially killed is not in any of his strategies.

After all that you fall into a deep slumber, entangled in each other’s warmth, even though both of your heads were clouded with worry, you at least have each other, and from now on without any run-aways. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

11 September 1956 After all that happened you wanted to stay and celebrate Jungkook’s 26th birthday, still hoping for some more time together, however, you were shortly after sent alone to the location of his vacation home. A beautiful, cozy house, with a big yard and a lake behind. It looked straight out of paradise. Jungkook kept sending you letters when he was away and couldn’t contact you on the landline, he promised to come and visit somewhere around mid september, before he will take on a dangerous mission, trying to annihilate all the enemy’s camps from your region.

You were scared to say the least. You were seeing him less and less and now he was about to go to war and fight for your region’s freedom. But you waited patiently, hoping that he will arrive soon so you can get a piece of his love once again. Possibly even the last, but you didn’t want to let those thoughts linger around your mind, he was a strong guy, you knew he could lead such missions with minimum damages done and high success rate. And so you waited, day after day, from sunrise till dusk. He promised you, and you knew he would come. Tonight was no special, September began warm in the beginning, but right now the cold started to settle more and more. It was just like you were feeling, the warmth you once felt was slowly losing its power, making you grow colder without him by your side. Putting one more log in the fireplace you sit down, eyes glaring into the open flames who burn hot and red. It’s quiet. But not even the quietness lasts long once you can hear a car stopping in front of your house, heart starting to beat faster, mind racing. He’s home.

With quick steps you rush to the door opening it, in front of you a tall figure, dressed in military attire, his smile bright when he sees your figure. You jump in his arms knowing he will catch you, and he does, even though outside was cold, his arms felt just as warm as ever. His lips even come in contact with yours, leaving a sweet feeling behind. “You came.” Voice barely a whisper, fighting back tears since you’ve cried too much lately. “I promised.” He also whispers to you, leading you both back inside, you still wrapped around in his arms. Once your feet were on the ground you could examine him, wondering if he’s eating properly, or taking care of him the way he always did. He looks almost the same, only his eyes seem a little tired, but they hold so many emotions that is easy to forget about it. “I can’t stay long.” He says, voice sweet but sad, you look down, staring at his feet. “You just came, now you have to leave?” You ask a little upset. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, tomorrow we set trace for the first camp. I wish I could've come sooner to spend some time with you, but I had so many things to take care of, they didn’t allow me to leave.” His hands caress your cheek, taking in that you were upset, making his heart swell with pain. But it was for the best, his duty is to keep the people safe, you being his first priority. 

And since the attacks started being more and more aggressive, his only choice was to send you away from population until he manages to take everything under control. “When will I see you again?” You ask, biting down the sobs that want to erupt. A war could take months if not years. Jungkook bites his bottom lip and looks away from you, his voice a whisper when he says “I don’t know…”. You fall on the rocking chair, head in your hands, breaking down in the end. He comes closer and kneels in front of you, resting his forehead on top of your head, breathing heavily while trying to surpass his own tears. “Please…just stay tonight.” You mutter, looking up at him with doe, teary eyes. “I can’t, love.” He tries to resist his desires to hold and love you. “You can leave in the morning, just stay tonight, please!.” You plead, and plead, begging him to hold you tight like your life depends on it. He swears and looks away, getting up from the ground and straight to the phone on your wall, finally giving in. He calls at his base to inform them he will be there first thing in the morning, but he can’t make it tonight. He turns to you giving a small smile. “You see the things you do to me? Didn’t I say a while ago to not bring me trouble?” You laugh and open your arms for him, not taking long to feel them wrap around you. “I wonder how you didn’t see I was trouble from the first time we met?” Your voice suave, enchanting even, luring him in even more. “Oh God, how I missed you.” He says leaving kisses down your neck. “Didn’t you say you weren’t a believer when we first met?” He grins at you unbuttoning your shirt, eyes never leaving yours, making you feel hotter than the fire burning next to you. “You start to believe a little when this is the woman you have next to you.” You laugh caressing his hair gently, looking how he manages to take off your top, bra following right after. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you like this, still the hottest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He says managing to make you blush. “Let’s go upstairs.” You say trying to pull him up, but he doesn’t budge. Instead, his arms carry you to the couch nearby, laying you down on it with him on top. “Here?” You ask unsure. “Yes, here, I can’t risk letting too much time pass by.” His hands worked fast, stripping you both of your clothes and turning you around to lay on your stomach. “What are you doing?” You ask looking back, but he doesn’t respond, only maneuvers your body in such a way that your bum is up in the air, making you exposed for him. 

“Jungkook, what is this?” You ask concerned. “Relax, I’ll make you feel good in just a bit.” And then you feel it, the tip of his member running slowly from your bundle of nerves till your entrance. You gasp at the feeling, having been deprived of touch for so long made you so wet and ready. He runs up and down a few more times before you could feel him penetrate your warm walls. “Honey, this is.” Your words get stuck in your throat when he fills you up fully without any warning or preparation, but you were so excited to have him again that he just slid right up without much worry. “You take me so well, so ready for me all the time, didn’t need preparation either.” He says, hands gripping the flesh of your ass firmly while moving in and out. “I missed you, that’s why.” You manage to make out through your moans. He whines when he realizes he touched your sweet spot, making you yelp loudly, hand thrown back trying to grip his wrist. He starts going a little faster making you see stars and shapes all around the room. “I’m close.” You say, high approaching at a rapid state, but in your disbelief he denies you and stops, pulling out completely making you whine. “Why? I was almost there.” He’s never denied you in the past, why now? “Don’t be greedy, soul. I need to have you for a little longer. Who knows when I can get another glimpse at this sweet pussy.” You gasp in embarrassment as he turns you around, your hands already gripping his strong back. He kisses you once again, longer, harder and so much sweeter before entering you again. This felt different than anything you’ve done with him. Hot bubbles of pleasure were bursting around you, both your bodies warmer than the burning fire. It felt so raw and so pure, just sincere love being exchanged like it was for the last time. Getting closer to the edge once again, your husband seemingly close too, this time. He rests his head on your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck. You scratch his back when maybe the best orgasm he’s ever given you washes over, followed by the feeling of warm cum stuffing your walls. For a few minutes the only things you could hear in the room were the creaking of the fire and two bodies trying so hard to catch their panting breaths, foreheads resting against each other. 

Jungkook raises his head to look at your figure, your eyes closed in a blissful haze. He smiles sadly knowing he can’t be here much longer, lips coming closer, catching yours in another kiss. “I love you.” He says, your eyes meeting just like the first day, this time instead of terror, only love and care could be seen. “I love you too.”

All night was filled with love, your two bodies melting into one another in front of the fireplace. Jungkook made sure you knew how much he loved you and assured you that you will meet again someday. Opening your eyes, trying to adjust to the light that was peeking through your bedroom window. You scanned the room remembering the events that happened last night making you smile, turning around you expected to see the face of your sleeping husband, but the bed was cold. You frown, knowing what it ment, he already left. 

He did say goodbye last night, but you were too tired to acknowledge it. You get up from the bed, legs almost giving up. You were dressed up in warm pajamas and even cleaned out, he must have done it for you while you were falling asleep. Going down the stairs, the house was empty, the car was not in front of your door anymore, the fire long gone. On the kitchen table there was a singular piece of paper, a letter. “My dear wife, Y/N. I’ve been gone for so long the past few months, busy and away. Forgive me. I know I might have never been the best husband for you, I always felt like I’ve been depriving you of the freedom you always craved for. But, believe me, all that I do is for you to get that freedom one day. I might be a hypocrite, making you wait over and over for me to come home just to give you bits and pieces of what you truly deserve.

And I thought of letting you go, having you achieve your own dreams and goals, but I am a greedy man…

It does not matter how far you run, it makes me run even faster after you. It does not matter how much you push me away, it just makes me want to come to you even more.

So, please, forgive me for everything. Not being there for you, letting you in the dark, wandering around uncertain paths. 

And in my shame I ask for you to wait for me once again, carry the thought of me in your head, and the tag I gave you close to your heart so you don’t forget me.

Until we meet again, my soul.

Yours to love, Jeon Jungkook.”

Soft tears fall onto the piece of paper, making the ink run, you fall to the ground clutching the piece close to your chest. 

How can you even forget him? You are so grateful for what he’s done for you. You smile, wiping your tears. The silver tag dangling in the air. You bring it close to your lips, leaving a warm kiss on his name, the name of the man who makes you feel so much. “I’ll wait for you, my love.” You whisper, clutching everything tight to you, praying he’ll come home safe and unharmed. One day you’ll have him back in your arms again.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

31 December 1956

The last day of December.

Outside heavy snow is ripping through the night sky, letting a thick layer gather on the ground. In the suburbs a house could be seen, on the front porch the snow has been swept away. Looking towards the house, the man admires the scenery in front of him. Inside only a small light could be seen coming out from the front window, lighting his way. He takes small steps through the crunching snow, feet planted right outside the door when he’s hit with the warmth of home. His home. He doesn’t knock, only opens the door slowly, letting his frame inside.

In front of the fireplace, rocking on a chair, a woman could be seen. Her hands quickly knitting what seemed to be a small blanket. His eyes warm up at the sight in front of him, and she finally acknowledges his presence, stopping her hands to look at him. He smiles, taking a step closer until his eyes widen in surprise. With love filled eyes she looks at him, while her small hands uncover what seem to be the small outline of a belly. “Welcome home.” She says, opening her arms, making his eyes burn with happy tears, gently throwing himself in them.

Resting his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat,

December has never felt so warm before.

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

Daniel is the youngest main character in IWTV

He is 69 years old, born in 1953, since he was 20 in 1973.

When everyone jokes ‘yeah fuck the old man Armand/louis!’

It’s based on mortal years. To us Daniel is like father age. My mother is 55 so like…he’s straight up dad territory for my ass.

Armand is 514. Armand was born in 1508

Louis is 145, he was born in 1877

Lestat is 262 . Lestat was born in 1760

When daniel was born, Louis and Armand had already been together for like, almost 9 years.

Louis and Lestat were together when Daniel’s parents were probably children of not babies. They are probably along the same age as Louis nephew and nieces we see in season 1.

It’s why Louis and Armand call Daniel ‘boy’ cause to them Daniel is a fucking spring chicken. To Armand he’s a fucking fetus.

But for real, Armand I need you to bend that old man over and rock his world so good it fixes all the kinks in his back (you probably caused by throwing him into walls and slamming him like a yo-yo in 1973) make that old man feel young again.

Make that old man need a hip replacement! Make him get new knees!

He’s so pretty, you know you want to Daniel. 1973 was the foreplay baby. And in this he would be the cradle snatcher. I mean he’s like 437 years older than you so it’s fine!

(The gif is from a random Pinterest posts, so if you know the gif maker pls message me so I can give credit. Cause god look at him, the sass bitch the pure sass.)

[beneathsilverstars]

Siffrin is like. 26 at the YOUNGEST to me. Most of them are in their mid to late 20s (early 30s maybe) besides odile who *I* think is mid to late 40s

I did hear the word of god descriptions before considering their ages, so my hcs are compliant with them, but the word of god does all seem right to me. Except ironically the one canon age range (preteen Bonnie) is the only one that seems off; if they weren’t called a preteen I’d assume them to be like 8. (As opposed to, I define preteen as 11 or 12, mayybe 10. aka the ages that would also be called “teen” if not for linguistics.)

But yeah Siffrin is soo 28 to me, definitely within 26-31. Old enough that they’re quite settled into their sense of self and the patterns of their adult life, but not so old as to be totally set in it (or desperately trying to change it). They’re sort of still just muddling along, but they’re very good at it by now! At the very least, they’re used to it, used to pretending it’s fine, but not yet quite so sick of it that they can’t pretend anymore. Not quite.

Mirabelle and Isabeau do have more youthful insecurity imo. I put Mirabelle at 22 because to me that’s the age where it feels like everybody you grew up with is graduating right now and getting job offers in their chosen field, but not you, because you’re a failure. Any younger and you’re all still in college together (or if not, then working 30-40 hours a week is almost more grown up of you than being in school). Any older and everyone’s doing different things anyway. But at exactly 22, being even just one semester behind feels like a huge difference, like nothing you’ve done matters in the face of the one thing you haven’t. (ofc, Vaugarde doesn’t have the same schooling system as irl modern USA, but it’s about the vibes okay.)

And then Isabeau’s 24 because that’s when everyone is doing different things anyway. You’ve realized that the social structure of school, the cliques, the competition, isn’t really how it works as an adult. You are out there in the world on your own and it’s time to figure out what makes you happy instead of your friends or teachers. And, a couple years into working, you might be realizing that the career path you were so sure of really doesn’t suit you at all! And it’s scary to change, and waste all that hard work you’ve done. But, at 24, it hasn’t been that long since you graduated high school, and less since you graduated college (or if not college, you still may have tried a couple different towns or a couple different groups of roommates). You’ve upended your entire life at least once if not several times in recent memory, so even though it’s scary, doing it once more doesn’t feel as impossible as it would for someone who’s been doing the same thing for the last twenty years straight.

Speaking of which, Odile! Admittedly half the reason I made her 43 was self-indulgent ship reasons. But! I also think it makes sense. She’s been out of school just as long as she’s been in it. She had been doing approximately the same thing for the last 15+ years, so leaving is a huge upheaval. But she’s young enough to still have the energy for travel — she sure feels old next to Mirabelle, and she is slower and achier, but she’s also still perfectly able to fight, hike, and camp. (ofc, many older people can still do these things, but I feel like once you get past 50 it starts being mostly just the people who have been consistently doing these things all along.) Also, 40 is just The mid-life crisis age, y’know? So at 40 she starts wanting a change, and then time goes so fast once you’re settled into adult life plus going to the other side of the world is a huge undertaking, so it takes a couple years. But by 43 she’s done it, she’s made the change!

Then I made Bonnie 12 because according to purely my own intuition, I think 4 is maybe the oldest age Bonnie could’ve been when running away that wouldn’t leave them with some solid memory of their parents, and even then it would probably take close to 8 years to have forgotten them to such an extent and grown to be relatively well-adjusted. And I went for the max running away age because oh my god Nille. And I put Nille at the top of her word of god age range - 21 - because oh my god Nille. Babies taking care of babies. At least this way she was a full teen and they were a preschooler!!

[grayson1996]

Just a little ficlet I thought up! ***

“I miss my mom.”

The admission was quiet, but Dick saw Jason’s head snap up from his phone, gaze indiscernible as he surveyed Dick. Probably trying to figure out what brought the confession on.

“Ok.” Jason said it like a statement, but Dick could hear the question in it.

“I miss how warm her body felt when she hugged me. I miss being able to bury my head into her stomach and breathe her in…. I miss breathing her in. I miss having a mom and knowing what it’s like to be loved by someone unconditionally. I miss growing and having her there to notice.” Dick got quiet a moment, a little unsure if he should continue sharing, but he felt the need to anyway. “Sometimes I miss being the youngest. My cousin was a few years older than me, all my friends at the circus were. Hell, even the Titans were. I miss being the one cared for. You know?”

Dick saw Jason set down his phone and turn to face Dick head on. After a moment Dick turned as well and matched his brother’s gaze. The confusion that was there making way to understanding.

“Yeah. I know what you mean.”

Dick felt himself relax slightly at the reassurance, closing his eyes he sunk deeper into his living room couch that the two were currently occupying.

“I miss wearing clothes that weren’t replaced as soon as they got holes. And I miss dishes made with cumin and cinnamon. And I miss my dad. God, I miss him so much. He was so calm Jay, he always smiled, he always knew that things were going to be ok, you know? He sang all the time, and no one sings here.” Dick felt his throat close at the realization, not even realizing all this was weighing on his heart until he let himself feel it. “No one sings here, and sometimes I forget about all them. It’s like my life is on auto-pilot and I just don’t think about it. But then I remember and it’s like my body is ripping itself open from the grief and I can’t... I can’t- just”.

Jason shifted in his seat, pulling Dick toward him as he started to get worked up. Breathes coming out quicker than intended. Dick let himself be manhandled into an awkward sideways hug. Unsure of where all this was coming from. For a moment it was quiet as Jason held him until his younger brother let out a heavy breath.

“Sometimes I miss my old apartment. Stupid, you know? The place was filled with water damage and mold and my Ma and I shared a shitty lumpy 20 year old mattress that should have been torched years ago…. But it still was mine, and now it’s gone.” Dick felt Jason shrug, arms still wrapped around him.  “I think what people forget is, that to be human is to find the good memories in bad. It’s how we go on. That’s why everyone says grief is a gift, it means you loved someone so much that you get to miss them.”

“That’s stupid.” Dick muttered defiantly, grinning slightly when Jason laughed. “Grief isn’t a gift, it’s the cost of getting to love.”

“Careful Dickie, your dangerously close to sounding cynical and that’s my shtick.”

“I didn’t say it was a cost I was unwilling to pay.” Dick pulled himself back, leaning onto the side of the couch to face Jason once more. “I just wish I had more time to save up before I had to cash in.”

 Jason nodded, leaning back himself, though still watching Dick with a careful eye.

“You don’t talk about this often.” Another statement, one Dick knew to be true. He never talked about his parents, not since his current family started to grow.

“Bruce never talked about his parents, for awhile I think I thought grief was locking away memories until they faded into existence. When I realized that wasn’t the case you guys were here and I didn’t want to bring them up in case you felt like… I don’t know… I didn’t love the family I had now?”

Jason stared at him dumbly for a moment.

“That’s the stupidest fucking thing you’ve ever said Goldie and that’s including the time you tried to convince Wally, B was a vampire.” Dick snorted at the memory, which Jason smiled at. “Remembering what you lost doesn’t negate what you have, and the adage that time heals all wounds is misconstruing. It doesn’t mean the injury stops hurting, hell your fucked up knee acts up every time it so much as showers. Just because something isn’t actively gushing blood doesn’t mean its fine, doesn’t mean you don’t still need to take care of it.”

Dick let out a heavy breath, he had forgotten how intuitive Jason could be.

“Yeah. You’re right.”

“Course I’m right, I’m the only one of you fuckers who consistently reads books without pictures in it.”

Dick pushed him roughly but without any heat, dodging the pillow Jason tried to lob at his face in retaliation. For a moment the two tussled, feeling younger than they had in a while. Only stopping when a wayward elbow sent Dick’s lamp thudding to the floor. Slightly out of breath Dick nudged Jason with his foot, the joviality making way for genuineness.

“Thank you. For letting me talk about them.”

Jason gave him a small smile, one without the useful veneer of snark.

“Anytime.”

[moldybonessmell]

Valorant agents age headcanons

There is the list of my headcanons for valo agents' age

Disclaimer: Realistically even 18 yo go to army but in my mind 18 yo are actual babies so in this tier the youngest are 21 yo

21-25

Gekko as the main gen z falls into the youngest tier, followed by Neon and Jett, the choice is pretty obvious ig

This might be controversial but Iso gives just as much of gen z energy as Gekko, the only difference is him adopting Stiles Stilinsky's personality growing up, this is how we end up with the sarcastic deadpan delivery guy (yes this one is relatable to the op aka me)

Deadlock in the group might be controversial but I think it's funny af if the serious suspitious woman ends up dragged into the least serious friend group in existence (I bet she would make friends with Iso lol)

26-30

Everyone thinks Sova is a serious adult-ass man and gets surprised when they realise he's gen z, he just has a scary accent and doesn't smile and people think he's older than he is (the russian unapprouchable and quiet nature doesn't help this either)

Sage struggles from the same desease called looking serious and being a mom friend but she's actually on the younger side of agents

You might argue Phoenix is younger, but he's the texbook example of the 26 yo dude who one day woke up and decided to be a DJ /affectionate No way the dude collecting shoes would have money for all that in his early 20s (even tho it's debatable)

Yoru might be older, but for a dude who spends his free time by fighting gangs he must be under 30. I know difficult personality doesn't necessarily mean he's young but it would make sense

Raze is fun and energetic but more on the party-person side than anything-for-a-trouble side so she's in this tier. She just gives off the energy of someone who was working in customer service for years and finally quit but still has her violent urges /joking

KJ gives off younger energy, but as someone known for her incredible tech abilities and robots she must be closer to 30. You can't tell me this woman didn't work in IT with tech-bros for several years just to realise she wants to kill people /joking unless

31-35

I kinda doubted myself on making Chamber 31 (as he's a famous weapon-maker but let's pretend he got successful pretty early) but he just gives off the energy of the guy who just entered his 30s but acts the same as when he was 20 (immaturity-vise)

Breach kinda falls into same category but for a completely different reason of being in prison (probably for a long time and probably for something he did in his early 20s) so he kinda stopped maturing after this

I can kinda imagine Harbour to experience similar stuff, knowing he used to make money by stealing and selling relics and there's no way he never got caught, right? Harbour and Breach could make good friends me thinks

Skye gives off energy of a woman who was working her entire youth non-stop and them turned her gaze back and she's already in her 30s and realised she doesn't know anything either about herself or what she even wants in life. I imagine this is why she's so concerned for environment. She started to get really into being eco-friendly after going through existential crisis and realising our planet is dying (I can also imagine her using re-usable stuff, wearing tote-bags and making effort to recycle as much as she can).

Astra just gives off energy of this one cool rich aunt who has no children and always brings presents to her nephews when visiting (and to be this aunt you usually need to be 30+ even tho it's optional ahaha)

No one knows Fade's real age and people kinda assume she's younger bc of her style, but she's at the age when she doesn't care what people would think and wears whatever she wants (tho she should take care of herself better, drinking this much coffee can only go without concequences when you're 20, girlie please get proper sleep)

36-40

People like to imagine Reyna as a young woman but in my mind she's on the older side. She just gives off the energy of someone going through hell and back in her life (I know she has a younger sister but siblings can in fact have big age differences) I also may or may not like older women but this one is between me and my ao3 history

Cypher is around 40 I think, simply because he used to have wife and a child and I imagine it's been some time since they passed. Tho probably no more than 10 years, as he still thinks about reviving them (the voiceline about him asking Sage if she can revive anybody), but not to the point of actually following through, as if he mostly healed, but not moved on completely

41-46

Is for Viper and Brim because they are way too tired of others' shit to be younger

If talking seriously, there's no way Brim is not pushing 50s as a literal commander, even tho his problems with electronics might be questionable even for this age group, but I don't see him being older

As for Viper, she as well as Reyna just gives off energy of someone who has seen some shit, also her being a scientist I can imagine it takes many many years to have such recearch it also may be or may not be same situation as with Reyna but this is not a crime

kinda immortal

Tier explains itself, these are agents whose age doesn't affect their mental state/maturity like Kayo and Omen

Even tho Omen used to be one of the agents and is probably in the same age group as them, if I had to guess he might be somewhere in 36-40 tier

Also Kayo is probably not even manufactured yet in this timeline, but I can't make "-25" tier ya know

This is it, thank you for reading, let me now if you have any thoughts about it!

[roseverdict]

Writing Commissions Open!

Hey howdy hey, guess who's broke and whose brain has latched on to the idea of getting a bike or a trike to get places other than the one (1) coffee shop in walking distance!

YEP. I need to open commissions.

However, I do have at least one thing going for me- I'm told I'm fairly good at writing things! Fanfic things, at least. While I'm not dumb enough to outright go "hey, pay me to write fanfiction," I figure I can at least point out some fanfics I've written that seem to have gone over well as examples of my work, since that's most of what I've got for proof of my skills.

x x

x

x x x

x x

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I'd show more, but Tumblr won't let me add more images, and even these fought me Tooth And Nail when I was trying to format them properly. Truly a functioning website.

Hopefully these kind of give an idea of the vibes I'm strongest with, too. Pricing and rules will be under the cut. I do have a target I'm trying to reach here, but depending on how well this goes, I might end up keeping commissions open indefinitely. We'll see. :D

DM me if you're interested!

Things I'm Comfortable Writing:

Original Storylines (Brief primer on the world/characters I'll be writing with will be required)

Things like the pieces shown on my AO3 account

OCs

Y/N-style pieces (both with and without the actual usage of "Y/N")

Mild Romance

Gore/Severe Injury

Body Horror

Whump

Look, if it's in the Danny Phantom phandom and basically nowhere else, I'm probably just fine writing it, despite its intensity xD

Things I Will Not Write:

Smut. There's no shame in enjoying it, I just. Don't.

Incest. Absolutely NONE. Even leaving aside the whole debate about whether or not people should ship incest ships, I would not be able to enjoy writing it, which would make the resulting work of low quality, which would be a huge waste of time for everyone involved.

Pedophilia- specifically, ships with a minor and an adult multiple years their senior. See above. 17yo x 18yo is pushing it, but depending on the circumstances, I might allow it. They aren't exactly in completely different phases of life there. However, I'm in my 20s and don't particularly want to think about or write about kids the age of my youngest brother dating people my age or older, you feel me?

Bigotry presented to the reader as a positive thing. I'm not gonna write your favorite heroic character declaring OOC that minorities are terrible people. If you want something from the POV of a character meant to be terrible, such as someone like Fire Lord Ozai in AtLA, however, I may be willing to write it.

I reserve the right to refuse any commission and not have to explain why. Person-to-person, though, this will likely only come up if someone tries to commission something that crosses these lines and refuses to acknowledge such.

Payment: 5¢ USD per word. This works out to…

$12.50 for 250 words

$25 for 500 words

$50 for 1K words

and so on.

I'll need half the payment up front as a deposit, then the rest upon completion. If, for whatever reason, I fail to write the commission, you will be refunded in full.

If you pay me for a given number of words, I will do my best to stick to it. I will make sure you at least get your money's worth, but if I just can't quite fit the writing into the given limit, I won't charge you for the extra words. Call it 100 words or so of wiggle room.

A commission for a fic 1K or larger that runs 100 words or less over the intended length will not cost extra

A commission for a fic between 500 and 999 words that runs 50 words or less over will not cost extra

A commission for a fic 499 words or below that runs 25 words or less over will not cost extra

A commission for a fic that has enough going on to run over that limit will result in me contacting you to ask for either a scaled-down plot or payment for the extra writing.

I will not consider calling a commission complete until I can hit the target wordcount at minimum.

If it should happen that I just can't make a scene stretch to the full wordcount, but you still want to keep what is written, the words that were not written will be refunded.

[octuscle]

Working everyday sucks. I mean is this the life we dreamt of when we were young? I mean I had the choice between knowledge and sports. I chose the academic way but there are days I wish for another chance to decide. Working with my body instead of my brain would be cool. Is there a Chronivac program to solve this problem?

Dude, I understand you so well. I mean, you're in-house counsel at your company, 48 years old…. Got 20 more years to work. The peak of your career is probably right now. Damn it! If you would have made the right decision at the right time… I'll choose the setting "Become younger with simultaneous modification of the past". Means in clear language, you become now each hour a year younger. And at the same time you have dedicated yourself one year more to a career as an athlete. Whether you end up as a gold medal winner, Formula 1 champion or coach of a soccer team in the district league, I can't tell you yet. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Friday morning, 6:00 a.m. At this time you feel like an old man. Your back has been better. But trust me, in a few minutes you will feel better. Your mind is already off the weekly meeting in the shower. They're on the runs you're planning for the weekend. By the time you sit down to breakfast at 7:00 a.m. (raw vegetables, sugar-free muesli, low-fat quark), you already feel considerably fitter. You sold your car a year ago. Your new bike was almost as expensive. And now you ride it to the office like every morning.

09:00 a.m., weekly meeting of the department heads. Since you've been doing more sports, you love Casual Friday. Your tight suit pants fit snugly and your rolled-up arms show off your tanned, wiry forearms. Three years of hard training are having an effect. It's certainly helped your career, too. Most of the other department heads are not only fatter than you, they are also much older.

The morning goes well, at lunchtime you can convince your colleagues to have sushi. Normally, they always go out for schnitzel at the brewery on Fridays. Then you would have had to take a salad again. And a non-alcoholic beer. Okay, that would have worked, too. But in the meantime it causes you physical pain to watch how some people maltreat their bodies. As you brush your teeth in the office after lunch, you grin very contentedly in the mirror. You are now 40 years old. But as a rule, everyone thinks you're younger. Triathlon and soccer have gotten you out of your post-college slump over the past eight years. And now you're the departmental Adonis. One of the youngest department heads in the entire group. And an absolute winning smile!

The building empties out at 3:00 pm. But you don't just give your all in sports. When you shut down the computer at 6:00 p.m., all the e-mails have been processed. Yes, you are considered an absolute nerd. And you are. Ever since you graduated with your bachelor's degree 12 years ago, you've been working hard. In sports as well as in your job. Your promotion is only a matter of time. But that doesn't matter. You hang up your suit in your closet, stuff your shirt, shoes and knee socks into your backpack, put on your racing bike outfit and start cycling. You'd like to do another 100 kilometers tonight. Two and a half hours would be a good time… Sometime between 20:00 o'clock and 21:00 o'clock it makes click. You almost lost control of the bike. You are now just under 24 years old. And after graduating from high school, you decided to become a carpenter. The alternative would have been to study law. Like your father, like your grandmother, like your brother. But even though you weren't particularly talented at handicrafts, you wanted to do something completely different. Something physical. And fuck, that was the right decision. Today, at 33, you have your own business, plenty of time for sports, and certainly a much more relaxed life than your brother….

Now the changes come one after the other. The beginning of the transformation quickly reaches your 17th and 16th birthday. And the younger you are at the time of onset, the more serious the effects.

At 11:00 p.m. you lie in bed showered. It was a hard day. But you love your job. In the past, you would have dreamed of a different life. When you started playing soccer at the age of 14, you were already too old for the big career. Well, you were active in the second Bundesliga for a while. But now, as a physiotherapist and fitness trainer at a first league club, you're not dissatisfied. It pays pretty good money. And a bit of the boys' glamour falls on you, too. At least you get around a lot… You fall asleep at the thought.

Alarm clock rings like every day at 06:00 o'clock. You don't give a shit that it's Saturday. Could also be Sunday or Christmas. Drink a liter of water to detox, then run ten kilometers. At 07:30 your physiotherapist comes to the hotel room, 08:30 breakfast with the team. Kickoff for the soccer game is today at 8:30 p.m. Until then, light training, a yoga session and coaching with your social media consultant are scheduled.

Let the haters make fun of the soccer millionaires. You've been fighting for your career since your foot first touched a ball. And you work a hell of a lot harder for success than any armchair farter who studied business, law or mechanical engineering. And that's why you will win today!

[maggie-004]

(Un-) Lucky coincidence - 3

Jenna Ortega x Fem reader

Summary: After helping Jenna Ortega, Y/N invites her to stay at her apartment when Jenna's hotel reservation is canceled. Jenna accepts the offer, and they bond over music and their shared vegetarian lifestyle while enjoying Chinese food and planning Jenna's stay in Austria for another 1 and a half weeks.

Words: 2155

“Oh, cool cool, I’m here with my car soo uhm do you need a ride?” I asked Jenna, trying to not freak out. “Uh yeah that would be great. Where do you even live, like do you have a house or-“, “What a house, you’re funny, no I have an apartment nearby. Houses here in Innsbruck are very expensive, if you wanna buy a house, that’s not the size of an shoe box you’ll have to pay at least 5 Million euro. Even to buy an apartment is really expensive. Mine costed around 500.000 euro.” I nearly cried out of laughing “Come on let’s go to my Car, and maybe close your mouth on the way there, Innsbruck is a very expensive city” I laughed at how shocked she was, it really is normal around here. “Yeah let’s go, sorry. I am really shocked right now your apartment is just a little less worth than our house in Coachella and my apartment in LA is way, WAY cheaper than yours” Jenna explained while we went to my car. “Oh really I thought America is more expensive than Austria.” I said while unlocking my car.

“apparently not, I really thought Austria would be very cheap, well I thought wrong. Oh is that your own car or is it your parents?” “No it’s my own, I love this car” I proudly said while getting in to my Ford mustang Mach-e. “Wow I thought you were a nursing student, by the way how old are you?” Jenna glanced at me while I connected my phone to the car.  “I’m 19 (feel free to put in your age) how old are you?” I asked Jenna. “Woah how do you have an own apartment, a car like that and your job at the age of 19? Oh yeah I’m 20 but I’m turning 21 this year” she said and smiled at me. “Oh you’re not old yourself, you know for what you’ve reached so far. Well I started to study at 16, I skipped a few classes and I wanted to move out from my old home so I started to save money and I do make money besides school so yeah that’s pretty much it.” I just explained when we drove off, I played some music and I could see from a side eye that Jenna was enjoying it. “wow so you are the youngest in your class, at least I suppose? And how do you manage to make money, well enough money for all that while still going to school. I know that my sister, Mia she is 2 years older than me, is now nearly done with nursing school and she barley has time to work a part time job and make enough money for anything like this. Oh yeah before I forget to ask, where do you find those remixes we’re listening right now” She asked me and started to get into the music even more. “Oh she’s a nurse as well? That’s so cool, but it’s true. When you’re in nursing school you don’t have enough time to make some Money, except you are lucky enough, like me, to make your money doing something you love, for me it’s DJing. I have my YouTube channel and I have now nearly 5.5 Million subscribers, that’s where you can find those remixes by the way. That’s how I make my money. I’ve never shown my face though so I live a normal life. I collaborated with one of my best friends I met online her name is Antonia aka. RevedTV, I really got a lot of subs from her community. All in all I’m just lucky” I explained smiling because that really is just luck and it’s so cool to receive so much good karma. “Okay, wow yeah I don’t really know what to say here, I’m flabbergasted. Congrats on that and you got to tell me your artist name, I really want to listen to more of your remixes.” Jenna said, and to be honest that made me so proud of myself because everyone knows that Jenna is addicted to music and that she has a certain taste of music, I think she has a really good taste in music, but I got ripped out of because we were already pulling up to my garage.

“Thank you” I just realized that Jenna was talking to me earlier, I kind of zoned out, I still got to tell her about my ADHD otherwise she might thinks I’m rude. “Sorry for not talking to you sooner, I kind of zoned out, you know I have ADHD just wanted to clarify so I don’t come off rude. Sorry”. “Don’t be sorry, that’s ok you don’t seem rude, I know how it feels to zone out, happens way to often to me too” She just giggled at me. “Oh thank god you can relate to the zoning out, hey believe it or not some people don’t zone out at all. It really shocked me to learn about that” I explained living through the exact same feeling as I did when I first learned about that. “Yeah no way, you’re kidding right?” she asked me “Nope. I’m not kidding I swear”. “Wow second time you made me speechless today, just for your information, normally that doesn’t happen to me and certainly not twice”, “ Okay and what exactly does that mean?” I asked her while we got in the elevator I live on the 3rd and 4th. I jokingly started to tease her “Do I make you nervous … nahh just kidding” I laughed and I’m not sure but I think Jenna blushed a little but maybe it’s just my imagination. We arrived at third floor and I unlocked the door, holding it open for Jenna “Milady, after you” “Thank you”. “You can keep your shoes on or how ever you like, feel comfortable, do you want a little tour so you see how we Austrians live” I asked her. “Yeah sure I’d love to” she said while she took off her shoes. “ Okay first room to your right is my guests bath, next to it the guests  room and a little storage room” “Mhm oh the furniture is soo cool” Jenna said. “Then you should wait until you see my room, anyways around that corner is my kitchen and the eating era, come on.” “Woah I definitely wasn’t  expecting an all-black kitchen it’s so cool and so big. Y/N you have a really nice furnishing style, I love it here.” Jenna said. “Thank you so much yeah I really took my time because I want to feel at home here so no compromises with anyone, you won’t believe me how many people said ´oh no black kitchen… don’t do this… don’t do that- bla bla bla` but as already said no compromises. Okay come on we have another floor to look at” I just said. “Another one? Wow cool you really hyped me for your room.” “Okay then come on, soo here is my bathroom, I really needed that freestanding bathtub and again a lot of black elements I love it looks so  fancy. Next to my bathroom I have my laundry room nothing special in here. But now my second favorite room, my studio. Here happens all my ´Musical magic´” Jenna looked stunned at me and I just had to laugh at her face and about myself, calling myself magical. “Well I guess we make it a third time that I don’t know what to say wow, this is all so cool, amazing is that your DJing controller?” Jenna asked me. “Yeah it is if you want I can show you a few things on it later” I suggested. “I’d love to, maybe you can teach me a little bit” she smiled like a little child when I nodded at her request. “Okay now come ooonnn I am so hyped to show you my room, I really love it so let’s gooooo.” “Oh my god you’re hyping me up so much don’t hype me anymore I don’t think I could that you know… emotionally” Jenna laughed.

“Well then we’ll make it short and painless. Here take a look.” I said with the biggest grin on my face, because I know we can add another speechless Jenna moment to our list. My room is the biggest of all my rooms, it has 2 black Walls on which my Californian King sized Bed is, also it’s slightly higher than everything else because it’s build on this platform thing, where I have two huge drawers, I know I don’t need bed this big alone but I really fell in love with it, I think its needless to say that I wouldn’t spent so much money on a bed I don’t need, but I got it as a gift from one of my advertising partners. I also have a lot of plants and little decoration things, Pictures and a few fan gifts, a big ass aquarium, way too big tv, but again it was a gift, my beloved Book shelf, next to it a tiny two person couch and a desk for schoolwork and editing. But now my favorite part, my walk-in closet. “So Jenna what do you think” I grinned. “Wow this room is amazing, how long did you spent to make it look like that, and that bed oh my god can I sit on it, it looks sooo comfortable” Jenna said. “Yea you can also lay in it if you want, it was a gift from my advertising partners. I think I’ve spent one and a half months on this room, but only because I didn’t accept any help in this room, I really wanted it like I imagined. So I build that platform for my bed myself and lowered the ceiling for the LED’s.” I explained “How’s the bed?” I laughed at how tiny Jenna looked in it. “It’s amazing but I am a little scared that I’ll get lost in it.” We both started to laugh like crazy. My stomach started to hurt out of laughter I threw myself on my bed next to Jenna and tried to calm down. Needless to say we pushed each other even more and only after 10 minutes we started to calm down. “Uhg now my stomach hurts, Jenna do you still want to drink a coffee” I asked her still giggling. “Yeah sure, can you help me up” “sure her you go, we gotta go downstairs for coffee, or are you hungry?” I asked Jenna now. “Well yeah are you?” she asked. “I am so hungry right now, do you wanna order something or should I cook?”, “Uh we can order something and I pay for it you know as a thank you” Jenna suggested. “Oh Jenna you really don’t have to that’s fine you’re my guest so please let me- “ Jenna interrupted me “Yeah and you helped me when no one did so please I insist.” “Okay thank you” I gave up I didn’t stood a chance. “What should we order?” I asked Jenna. “Well I’m currently chancing my diet for Romania so something vegetarian, do you like Chinese?”, “Oh I love Chinese food and btw I’m vegetarian too, had to change from vegan to vegetarian because of the nutritious, kind of sucks” I explained to Jenna whom nodded at what I was saying. “oh my god same, I was so devastated when I found out I had to change that.” We both ordered some spring rolls and those lobster chips the white ones. “So should we look for places you could stay, or do you maybe wanna stay here, I mean only if you want to and feel safe and everything” I offered her, not really knowing what she’d say and hoping to not scare her away. We sat in my 2nd floor and before she could answer the doorbell rang. So I had to run down and get the food. “Hey Jenna do you wanna eat in the living room or down here?” I yelled up. “ Uhm however you want” she yelled back. So I got everything we need form the kitchen and got back up. “ I think it’s more comfortable if we stay here. Well about my offer-“ Jenn a cut right in “Uhm I’d love to but only if you’re really fine with that.” Oh my god, I think my heart is about to stop. Jenna really is going to stay at my place. “Yeah totally I can set up the guest room, you can stay as long as you want. I really mean it. How long are you staying in Austria anyways?” I asked her. “for another 1 and a half weeks, we are going to start promoting Wednesday, so the rest of the Wednesday cast comes here tomorrow, and thank you for everything”

A/N: Wow these are getting longer, fyi English is not my first language. Still hope you like it :)

[non-bee-knees]

I've got ScarVi brainrot so here's a list of headcanons that live rent free: (a lot of it is Larry and Giacomo based (my beloveds) )

SPOILERS BELOW

Nemona is autistic

Penny is trans (mtf)

Arven has dsylexia (formed off of that one moment at the end where he forgets the name of something, paired with his apparent bad grades)

Arven's mother/father (Vi or Scar dependent) 'died' when he was young - they got caught up in their studies and the time machine went all fucky and POOF no more parent. Back then the technology wasn't advanced enough to make an AI version ((for example, I played Scarlet, so this headcannon applies to Turo getting sucked into the future, make sense?)) Arven was only young when this happened

Larry is Asexual Biromantic (fight me)

Giacomo lives with Larry- his uncle.

Giacomo is actually Unovian - his mother was from there (his father was Paldaen), and he grew up there. Something happened to his parents (they died??) and he moved to Paldea to stay with his uncle. This was all about 3 years before the story of ScarVi. ((this entire headcannon changes location if we get an Italy region because i said so))

Larry smokes; he almost always refuses to smoke at work, whether is his salary job, his gym work or at the Elite Four Tower - the one time he smoked at work was at the Elite Four Tower, ( it was a hard day) and he almost instantly got caught by Hassel

For as emotional and as sweet as he is, Hassel is the most passive agressive man alive; case and point - he will bring up Larry's smoking any chance they're alone, hoping to subtly annoy him into quitting ( this does not work)

Giacomo and Arven become good friends once Giacomo starts going to school more often (Arven has a Mabosschiff, you know Giacomo is gonna be all over that)

Giacomo has ADHD (chaotic music child my beloved)

Atticus is Autistic ( BECAUSE JUST LOOK AT HIM)

The Gym Leaders in order of age are: Larry/Brassius, Ryme, Kofu, Tulip, Katy, Iono and then Grusha (who's in his early 20's)

In terms of including the Elite Four: Hassle is the absolute oldest, Rika is a bit older than Grusha, and Poppy is obviously the youngest. Geeta falls between Kofu and Tulip.

Geeta absolutely drags everyone away on a fully funded week-long vacay every year - that one random episode of Brooklyn 99 style

Larry is just as bright and interesting as the rest of his coworkers, he's just awkward about it.

Larry's Autistic (ITS MY COMFORT GAME, I GET TO CHOOSE WHO I PROJECT ONTO)

[jessidogg]

Hey! I just followed you! I’m Christian too. I saw your post about BroZone abandoning Branch. I agree with you. What they did were stupidity and selfish.

I know Floyd said goodbye, but IF he was a good and loved Branch very much then why did he left him? (I know it wasn’t make sense but Trolls if he didn’t 😅)

That’s just wrong of him, making promise is serious. Solo career takes a lot of time, also Rosiepuff was old. Honestly I don’t know if that’s wrong or right but I feel like he’s very wrong, the solo career is just something to enjoy and human/ Troll is living! Wasn’t he like 10-12?

You only live ONCE!

My 2ed favorite is John Dory. taking care of siblings is lot of responsibility and he through everyone died meaning his family died as well. He mentioned he tried came back but no one was there. I don’t know about Floyd, Clay and Bruce. They’re okay I guess. (They’re awesome in fanfics I don’t know why ;’D)

True I don’t like how they treat Branch in movie, it’s just weird and embarrassing. Like come on! Branch is not a baby! I’m more shocked they didn’t notice Branch’s hair and skin were not same as his original colors, it’s duller!

I know John left first but he did come back, but well yeah we know.

I don’t know about Bruce. By looking at him, he has family, right? I feel like he replaced Branch. Branch is HIS family! I’m bet Bruce’s kids would have asked about their uncles, his brothers! Honestly I feel like he doesn’t care about Branch but I’m not quite sure.

Clay is fine, he wanted to be serious but it seems like he isn’t mature enough and he just did dance which is kind of funny in movie at golf course, right?

It’s fine if he doesn’t want to be fun boy, that doesn’t mean he should be serious ALL the time, honestly I’m not sure about him. Staying mad at John for 20 years? That’s too much. I’m surprised he or Bruce didn’t end up hurting themselves- (it did happen to me, I was upset with someone, no i didn’t hurt myself but I felt hurt, after awhile I got over it, moved on and feel better, so should they)

I don’t know about Floyd, all we know he only got captured and was trapped for two months. We don’t know what he did before that.

The worst is they all left Branch to the hands of Bergens in the middle of BergenTown which was worse! (I heard about Bergens finding Trolls after BroZone Breakup, but I find it hard to believe and I don’t understand so I don’t believe and timeline is confused)

I’m not sure why Rosiepuff didn’t do her job to step up to the boys. I understand she was too old, or stop them from leaving unless she thought they needed some time to themselves and will come back, it might have happened before, like teenagers normally does. I’m guessing she didn’t hear what Floyd was saying to Baby Branch.

I’m not sure If she did help JD, we don’t know how her relationship with her older grandsons were.

Her death was even more sad.. ;(

Branch is my favorite ever more! :’D

My apologies about any mistakes or grammar.

Anyway I have a question, we know BroZone’s parents was never seen at all, they most likely died.

But

What do you think their reaction to their four older sons, what they did to their youngest son? I know they would be so disappointed and angry, knowing that they do not raise their sons this way.

I get it, teenagers can be stupid but abandoning families is wrong and awful, really sad even when Branch didn’t do anything.

How would they think about their sons left after one performance that went wrong and one fright that made them left and never came back?

How Branch went through so much?

HELLOOOO FELLOW CHRISTIAN 💕💕

Sorry I didn't get to this sooner, i knew this response would take a bit and I didn't have a ton of time earlier today😁💅

Okay, so to answer your question, it's hard to know exactly his parents would feel other than being disappointed and angry. We don't really know their personalities as well, so it's super hard to tell. I know for sure that they would never have let them just walk out the door like that unless they were lousy parents, and would probably give them all a good talking to.

I will say, being a girl with six brothers, I know what brothers go through, so I'm assuming that they have had multiple fights like this before, and that this one was only a bigger deal because they had promised the Perfect Family Harmony, something that had never been done before, and they blew it in front of the whole village.

DOES NOT MAKE THIS RIGHT BUT JUST SAYING THAT IT'S VERY EASY TO LOSE UR TEMPER WITH IT BROS HAHA-

But yeah, they would be so sad about Branch going through all of that. He definitely didn't deserve it. He was only a baby after all!

I never understood why Grandma Rosiepuff just sat there talking about dummy during the fight, that doesn't show the sweet loving grandma we know she was from Branch's descriptions of her. Ok Dreamworld was trying to be silly, but (And this is very hard for me to say bc I LOVE Dreamworks so much and their jokes are amazing in kids movies!!) I think the joke was too forced at the wrong time and place.

So I'm trying to give her a benefit of a doubt about why she didn't stop them, maybe thinking "oh, they 're doing their silly little fights again, they'll all be back." But they didn't come back:(((

I don't believe that Bruce REPLACED Branch or any of his brothers-- falling in love and having kids isn't replacing them at all. Branch could have done the same thing with Poppy, honestly. Bruce did seem to not really be too eager about going back, which did confuse me, and can be fustrating, but it makes sense. John Dory had always bossed him around and yelled at them, and he had found love and a great new life where he was, so he didn't really need to return to the life he didn't really enjoy. (Tho it is still messed up)

IDK WHAT HAPPENED WITH FLOYD LIKE WHY DID YOU NOT TO BACK TO BRANCH?!!! I don't have an explanation for Floyd at all. Maybe he did come back but found the troll tree abandoned and whatever, so maybe he guessed they were dead too? idk, I love Floyd but I just can't believe he didn't return for Branch or take Branch with him, though I guess it would have been messed up to leave their grandma all alone.

For the timeline confusion you have-- totally get it, the timeline is all over the place. But here is the basic explanation for things:

The BroZone Breakup HAD to be before the Bergen Attack bc Clay ran off with Viva, remember, before arriving at Putt Putt Whats-it-called lol (which is why Clay didn't look for Branch again also-- Viva wouldn't have let him)

Also, Branch is at least two years older (bc he was def a bit older when his grandma died) than Poppy, and Poppy was only like one year when the Bergen attacked, so the breakup also had to happen before the Bergen Attack bc Branch was only like one (at least) during it and Poppy definitely wasn't born yet. (If Poppy had been born, it might have taken her quicker to connect the dots between Bitty B and Branch).

You know the timeline after that, Trolls, Trolls Holiday, Trolls World Tour, 1/2 month later THIH, and TBT 1/2 a month after that. Kinda complicated at first, but if you really think about it, then it becomes a bit easier.

also, Clay is in a phase where he is trying to figure himself out. He wants to be serious (mainly to defy JD and show him that he has grown up) but at the same time, he does seem to be a silly boy at heart.

BRANCH IS MY FAVORITE TOOOO SAMIESSSS

sorry, I ranted. Hope this helps! Love ya!❤❤❤

-Jessi

[theo-decker]

My last job had lots of deranged personality types working with me, I took extensive notes while I was there and I have to save them for a short story or something (real emeryheads will remember my supervisor who was this mean butch---I nearly wrote hey mamas lesbian but that is a LITTLE unkind---who was always hitting on girls in the office. Well to summarise she ended up hiring her girlfriend and her girlfriend's friend to work with us. This managed to create like a voting bloc in the office against everyone else and the three girls would walk around like The Plastics except if one of them was a tiny butch with tufty hair). The current crop of people I work with are like... Kooky but basically don't hate my guts so I don't mind them, and include:

Current boss, an extremely horny bohemian mum whose major hobbies include belly-dancing, beer-tasting, and xianxia dramas. She is friendly but also likes to take contrarian positions on things to see what I will say. Like she will come up to me and be like, I support Donald Trump for president of the United States because there was no war when he was last in office. And I'll be like okay girl.

Supervisor, extremely neurotic and type A gay guy, he is very sweet, soft spoken and a gamer who loves cats but is always running around stressing and freaking everyone out. Naturally whenever we go to KTV he gets absolutely TRASHED and becomes very irritating. Also has a boyfriend who dresses and looks exactly the same as him, we have glimpsed him at KTV sometimes.

2 Hot Twentysomething Girls (TM). The first Hot Girl is our STEM teacher who has some of the most uncanny, effortless charm I have ever seen. I saw her at parents' night yesterday and was fascinated with her ability to pull people into her orbit. Everyone thinks of her as being "the one with the best English", which is why she has such a good job at this school even though she's more junior, but they don't realise it's literally just charisma. The second Hot Girl is the youngest, can't be more than 20, a bit dim and totally consumed by Xiaohongshu and IG. She is always grooming herself like a cat. She brushes her hair like ten times a day and does a whole teeth brushing and flossing routine everytime she eats anything (which is also rare because she is always on a diet).

+ But the actual reason I started writing this post is that I've just recently developed an inexplicable and vicious crush on my other coworker who is 10+ years older than me and married with two twin boys. Actually it's not THAT inexplicable, when we first met, Hot Girl 1 very accurately observed, "Although she is the oldest one here, she is clearly the cutest out of all of us." . This semester we are sharing a classroom. * ** ** **** * **** ** **** ** **** ***. No you cannot borrow a vowel.

[beautiful-morningstar]

☆༒☬𝕿һᥱ 𝕯rᥲg᥆ᥒ ᥆𝖿 𝗍һᥱ 𝕾𝗍ᥲrs☬༒☆

Three hundred years ago there were two powerful celestial beings that lived together in harmony: The Diviner and Stargazer. Despite the hardships the two had faced, the dragon took the siren as his mate, the two could not seem to exist without one another, and the world around them shuddered in jealousy. The siren was like a sun to those who looked upon him, radiant and everlasting, and his light drew many who longed to grasp him for themselves. However, the dragon kept the beautiful one safe and they lived happily for a very long time. Years went by but their peaceful isolation came to an abrupt halt when the neighboring emperor learned of a man so beautiful that even women dulled in comparison. Emperor Mingzhu ordered for the capture of the siren and once they found him wandering the market to get supplies for dinner, they dragged him against his will to the monarch, who then ordered that the fairest would belong to his family from then on. 

The dragon became enraged, seeking out Mingzhu and laying waste to his kingdom, and everyone in it. However, this was not enough to save the sun, for the eldest prince of Mingzhu: Tazhou - stabbed the mortal sun in front of the sorrowful dragon provoking him into a mindless rage.

Tazhou died that day but so did the Diviner. The dragon would soon try to follow, but a shadowy cat stepped forth to stop him, a demon named Manya. The cat promised that the sun would return in 300 years if the dragon would wait, reluctantly with some coercion from the cat, the dragon agreed to wait. So they took and made a temple; a large lavish estate for the brokenhearted Stargazer to wait in – and Manya sought out a family that would work as a vessel to pass down the soul of his beloved. This family was blessed with the dragon’s favor and as a result they were successful in their endeavors for many, many generations. 

( 300 Years Later )

“That’s bullshit!” A female’s voice ruptured the silence like a bugle horn in the night, shattering what little peace there had been in the busy home only moments before, each member of the family paused with their forks only inches from their mouths. “I don’t want to marry a spirit! This is stupid! I’m 20 years old, I’m in the prime of my life, and I haven’t even finished college!” The outraged blonde was the youngest sibling in a household of three and she’d merely been chosen because she was the only girl. 

“You can’t be serious–” A soft and beautiful voice piped in shortly afterward, amethyst hues glower in concern to their awkward parents, who were doing their best to come up with a way to smooth this over without incidents. “You can’t just use Skyla as a bartering tool!” 

“The dragon is growing tired of waiting, Iziryia. The three hundred year wait is over – we have to give him something – and Sky is our only hope. If she doesn’t go: we’re losing our lives – literally.” Kalani (his mother) said over her cup of coffee, she had nothing else she could really say other than that, because nothing could be done. “We have no other choice–” 

“I’ll go in her place.” Iziryia spoke firmly, they were a very powerful and wealthy family, and their son was very well off himself. He ran his own fashion industry and alchemic company, he was sought after by many for his dazzling good looks, and despite being 34 – he didn’t look much older than his younger sister who eyed him in confusion. 

“WHAT?!” 

“Skyla’s too young to get married and I’m just as pretty as any girl, if not better! Let me go in her place, I’ll convince the dragon to stay with our family, and then there’s no harm done. Nobody has to lose anything.” He twirled a lock of golden hair around his finger, looking at the faces of his worried parents, before Yasuhiro (his father) finally cleared his throat after what seemed like an eternity. “I’m not letting my baby sister get sold off as nothing more than a tool to keep our family’s great fortune.” He said hotly, disapproving of his parents’ greed, but he pushed himself up from their table nonetheless and turned to leave. 

After he got everything packed up, Hawkins (their chauffeur) helped load the bags into the family Mercedes, and took the long drive up to the temple of the Stargazer. During the three hour drive Hawkins filled Izzy in on what all he knew about the dragon (which wasn’t much) and once again questioned if he was absolutely sure about doing this. He refused to be talked out of it though. 

Three hours later he was standing in a practically deserted temple courtyard with his bags around him, feeling very isolated and alone. He was just about to go inside after a curt knock to the door, however it flung open hard, with a chilly voice speaking out from the dark. “Are you from the Nereidine household?” 

“Yes?” 

“Come in.” The blonde swallowed thickly, then was pushed in by some unseen force, were those shadows? A chill went down his spine as the foyer lit up with torches to either side of him. This entire place felt spooky. “The dragon will see you now, this way.” He followed the sound of a trilling cat into a lavish, luxurious throne room that nearly made his jaw drop. This place was…otherworldly in its beauty. Purple hues glanced at the black cat that easily closed the distance in the room to a large gray man settled in the throne, looking bored and done with life. “I brought the arrival~” 

So the cat was talking! 

Iziryia remained silent, gazing upon the gorgeous man who now regarded him with a pensive stare, and waited for the worst.

[bluelolblue]

I so identified with your post about feeling like a sad dog desperate for friends. But I wanted to remind you that at least you have fandom friends to talk and geek out with about your obsessions, which is so much better than nothing and is in fact incredibly precious. I have nothing like that, online or off. My husband is much older than me, works long hours and doesn’t understand creative or fandom type stuff at all. We live out in the country far from my family. I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from school. At work I’m the youngest by 20+ years and the only childless and non-religious and liberal person. I get the occasional bit of positive feedback on my writing, but have no one to really connect with about the things I’ve been obsessing over for more than a year now. I’m still in my 20s but feel so old and irrelevant already. No real question and no real answers…just wanted to let you know you are not alone in feeling alone, and to treasure the fandom friends that you have…

I'm really sorry for what you're going through, and it's not fair towards you. I'm sure it's really frustrating and even depressing when your husband doesn't understand stuff that makes you happy. I'm sorry about all that, I can understand because before all this, I didn't have anyone to talk about my interests (and I was anxious to talk to ppl). Irl or online, it was like that.

Definitely keep writing about your interests, and maybe you will eventually connect with someone. I can understand that it's hard, but maybe the time will give you someone. Even if it takes really long, maybe it will happen, just don't give up. Don't give up on things that make YOU feel happy.

I am grateful for my online friends here and I'm glad I actually managed to get out of my comfort zone and connect with people. I never expected anyone to interact with me, let alone tell me they like my fics, or that they agree with me on something. It's just that I love when people interact with me, talk about same interests with me, I love that. And I get moments when I think I'm doing something wrong here, that I'm not doing good enough, that this all what I'm doing is for nothing. Just because I get this feeling that people might not actually like me, maybe because I don't get interactions that often sometimes. And that's my own problem, I'm aware that I have to work on that, but sometimes it kills me, and I feel like I need help with that. I hate when I get like that, because then I don't know what to do.

I want to interact and make others happy. I want everyone to feel comfortable talking with me. So... when I don't get much interactions, I get like that and it sucks when I get like that. I don't want to feel that way. Because I get that feeling of a dog following others. Irl it's pretty much the same. When my friends don't really talk to me, I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. I have to fight my own demons to stop this feeling. But it's been years that I feel like that and it's really difficult to control it.

Thank you for reaching out to me and telling me your personal problems, I appreciate that you felt like you could trust me enough to open up. And I'm thankful that I'm not alone in this, I thought that not a lot of people would understand it, but I see that I'm not the only one, and thank you for understanding. Thank you again, and I wish you all the best and that things do get better! <3

Of course, if you want to talk with me more, feel free! :)

[aroaceconfessions]

in a woman in my early 20s and i grew up with baby boomer catholic parents and though they aren't as catholic as many other catholics, i still got 0 sex ed and remember asking about periods and not even getting an answer so just being super confused all around. i learned a little in school and it wasn't as bad as it could have been but it was a lot of confusing info at once. until 5th grade, i thought the word sex was a swear because i said it once (not knowing what it was or meant) and my older sister told me not to say it again. i also couldn't believe that private parts were actually for something other than just being there for relieving yourself

to get to my main point: i wish i had known about purity culture and how harmful it is at a much younger age than i learned about it. i remember watching late 90s and early 00s american teen tv shows and the way they often approached sex made me feel so terrible and ashamed to be a young woman and to be an asexual young woman who didn't know there was a term for my experience and this just added to the feeling that something was wrong with me and shame

watching one of these shows was really the first time i had seen sex depicted in any was because my family had shielded me from it until then. if we ever watched something together they would always tell me to look away while they fast forwarded the suggestive scene or whatever. so when i finally saw this very brief tv-14 depiction, it was just so much at once that i closed my computer and started crying. up until 3 years ago, i always skipped sex scenes in things. now it can depend

i don't know if it is but i know that my family infantilizes me for the conditions and disorders i have so maybe this was also some infantilization as well, i'm not sure. i'm the youngest of three sisters so everyone is overprotective of me and it's really damaging

i don't know if anyone remembers but I'm the anon who months ago was talking about this pattern i noticed in these shows where there'd always be a scene where her parental figure looks at her with a puzzled expression, she asks "what?" and the parent says something like "I don't know, you just look...different" after she's had sex for the first time

in contrast to this I want to briefly mention and recommend the show "my so-called life" a show that had the first openly gay actor to play an openly gay teen on primetime tv and covers really important themes and holds up well and is worth watching. there's an episode about the main girl feeling pressured to have sex and she's talking to her friend about it and her friend has had sex and she isn't painted in a bad light for it and the main girl asks her friend if she felt different afterwards and she says "afterward, I looked in the mirror to see if I looked different...do you think i do?" and the main girl said "no." this was 1994, years before the shows I'm thinking of. i wish i had watched this before the other shows

i just think about this a lot. i rewatch some of these late 90s early 00s shows from time to time for nostalgia and comfort and i look at them through a different eye now thank goodness and i'm able to notice just how much they tend to subtly demonize femininity and stuff that went over my head when i was younger. i didn't even know much about misogyny until a couple years ago and after high school—which makes me very upset that no one really talked about it in any way and i had to find out on my own over time. it makes me really sad to think about how much this stuff must have damaged other people watching when they were young and i worry about younger people who might be watching these shows now and maybe feeling similarly to the way i did

[kamyru]

The importance of Kuranosuke Kiba's backstory

Trigger warning: Emotional abuse, suicidal behavior, abusive families

As some of you know, I live in the dorms. I have no idea what I did to get so lucky, yet I got along with all my dormmates. And we are not just good acquaintances. We are family. If these girls need meds at two in the morning, I'm walking on the other side of the city to get them meds and some food. In these conditions, it's nearly impossible not to know their backstories. 

Dormmate #1: Comes from a small village where it is harder to find someone not related than a relative. Complete family, one younger sibling. Her parents went abroad a few times while she was a teenager so that they could provide enough money. Dad used to drink but has never touched any alcohol for years. Mom is emotionally abusive due to generational trauma: critiques her weight and can't accept she is an atheist. She is bi but won't ever come out to her family. 

Dormmate #2: Literal angel. Is still with her first boyfriend, whom she met at 19/20, and they have been together for three years. Divorced parents. Has an older sibling to whom she is not the closest. Doesn't keep in touch with her father and doesn't want to talk about him. 

Dormmate #3: Complete family, one younger sibling. Idealizes relationships because her family has strong bonds. Has never had a relationship, even if she wants one. Her dad once told her to cut out on eating vegetables and fruits because they were too expensive.

Dormmate #4: The friendliest out of the entire list, everybody loves her. Her dad left when she was ten after she asked her mom to divorce him. Her grandmother is also divorced. Has a younger brother that grew up with the three of them, all women. Wants a strong relationship and gives her all to the relationships but gives up on them the moment something goes wrong, then suffers for years. Says that the only reason she is living is her brother. 

Dormmate #5: A saint on earth. I have never met a kinder and more empathic person in my entire life. Complete family, middle child, religious family. I met her parents, very good people. Twice had a mental breakdown because she thought she wasn't meant to be happy and didn't find happiness in anything. Once asked me if I wanted to live. I didn't answer: we cried together at 1 in the morning. Can't take compliments or admit she is enough because her father has never praised her. 

Dormmate #6: Looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll that can kill you. Is the local officer for an international NGO. Had the highest grades in her entire town while in high school. Has the highest grades in her class at university. Her first memory is of her mother's goodbye letter on the table. Her mother wanted to run away from her abusive husband. Later, her mom tried to run away at least five more times. Once, she was the one to call the taxi for her, because she thought her mom had it harder than her. The youngest in a complete family, with two older siblings. Says that her biggest achievement is that she got into a university that is 700 km away from home. Can't feel strong feelings of attachment towards men or express her love. Doesn't want kids. 

Me: Looks like can kill you, is a cinnamon roll. Complete family, with an older sibling. Invites everyone at home due to how friendly is her family. At least three of her sibling's friends said they wanted her mom to adopt them. Had an OCD episode at 13 with suicidal ideas and tried to kill herself at that age. The gifted kid that burned out in 10th grade. Used to think that her parents were better divorced, then understood that her dad wouldn't have made it to live for so long if left alone. Believes in happy couples, but not with her. 

When writers think of a character's background, most put them in fantastic conditions. And I won't say that I'm not doing the same. It's enough to ask me about my OCs' backgrounds. That's why it's so hard for me to write about Sua: she doesn't have a flashy background. 

Do you see the pattern? None of us has dead parents, all our exes are alive, all our siblings are too, some even have nearly perfect families, and some are happy about their parents' divorce. Yet, it's not working in most cases. And here comes Kuranosuke.

Kuranosuke is from a complete family of artists, the middle child, is probably middle-class to upper-middle class. He doesn't have a flashy background: his parents are alive and in a good relationship, his siblings are alive and with good careers, and he is alive and with a good career. He is considered a good architect. Yet, Kuranosuke admitted he didn't have MC's drive to work. He is working because he has to. And he does a good job, doesn't he? 

Kuranosuke Kiba is not the super inspirational man who went through the hardest lessons a perverted writer can think about. His backstory blends compared to Public Safety officers'. But that's why he IS inspirational. 

It's easy to like a character whose backstory is sadder than death. Though, most of us don't have such backstories. We see in books, movies, and games that we can feel the way we feel only if we have encountered death, criminal abuse, our parents' divorce, and other things such as these. 

But I don't think it's quiet like this. You don't need an "easy to recognize" trauma to suffer and have life-long scars. You don't need a trauma to be successful. You don't need some revolutionary achievements to be happy. 

Kuranosuke Kiba has a family trauma while not encountering divorced parents, death, and abuse in the form usually shown in the media. He didn't go no-contact with his family. They care for him, and he tries to make them happy. And that's a good representation of how most families work, how most people work. Most people have some trauma that haunts them, but they try their best to cope with it and are more or less happy. 

It has always been hard for me to relate to Voltage Inc.'s love interests because I thought I would downgrade their trauma and success if I did it. It is some kind of an inferiority complex due to how much work they had to do while I had everything they craved. But then, Kuranosuke Kiba happened. His parents probably helped, or at least influenced his job choice. He has an acceptable relationship with them, and from afar, it looks like he comes from a perfect family. But he has had a hard time while being in that family. And he is going his way to his dreams and goals that morph with time, change, appear, and disappear. He is one of the closest-to-reality characters that Voltage Inc. has written. You can easily believe in him due to how close to most people he is. 

So yeah, thank you for listening to my Ted Talk about Kuranosuke Kiba. See you soon.