#And even if your retired protagonist is Actually Retiring and accepting the end of that role or purpose...

[prismbearer]

I like how my favorite rpg romance experiences I've had are ones where it doesn't work out mid-game or post-game tbh.

[aclevername8]

It's been a hot minute since I posted here lol, so I thought I'd share a bunch of art I've gotten of my AU over the last few months since then--starting with this piece (my now girlfriend) @aynek-draw drew for me back in October to celebrate the two-year anniversary of my AU!

And to begin, here's a 'quick' overview of all the currently planned main characters of my AU, all of whom were drawn/designed by my good friend @wolfcha1k!

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Ratchet and Rivet, the prime protagonists of my AU, who need no introduction.

Basically, everything happens as is in canon until before Rift Apart/after Into the Nexus, where Clank gives Ratchet the opportunity to meet the Lombaxes by privately giving him the repaired Dimensionator in their Veldin home, and Ratchet actually accepts it.

And upon meeting the Lombaxes, he finds that his father had been alive the entire time, and after reuniting with him, now spends time with the father and species he never knew, on top of being officially ordained as a fellow Keeper of the Dimensionator for his valiant efforts in defeating Tachyon and avenging their species.

In an effort to revitalize the since-defunct Interdimensional Divsion of the Center for Advanced Lombax Research, Ratchet and Kaden travel to the Archives a month after his arrival to grab some items before getting caught up in an adventure against Emperor Nefarious, and meeting Rivet and Kit along the way.

After helping her defeat Nefarious, they allow her to meet her birth uncle, Mags, on top of getting to know the Lombaxes as well--but developing a crush on Ratchet along the way, with the two having love at first sight.

After getting to know each other better (like building the brand-new RYNO 8 together), they would finally start dating to the obviousness of literally everyone around them, and eventually, marrying and having two children together, an older daughter and a younger son.

Ultimately, they'd retire from all the heroics, having had enough of an exciting lifestyle, and instead running a humble mechanic shop on Ratchet's home of Veldin, with the slogan of "Giving Your Ships A Little R&R!" and a greenhouse in the back for Rivet and Kit to partake in their favorite hobby of gardening.

Kaden, another prime protagonist and whole inspiration to even make this AU so that he can live and be the best dad he can, goddammit.

Described by many as a cocky smartass, no one can say Kaden is underdeserving of praise at being an accomplished Praetorian General, Elder Councilman, Cohead of the Interdimensional Division, and most importantly, Keeper of the Dimensionator. But even with so many renowned titles, Kaden's favorite one is the title of 'father'.

When Tachyon attacked and took nearly everything from him, Kaden was lucky enough to have his son spared, but at the cost of his wife's life, Marie, who with her last words, made him promise to do anything to protect their son. Following her words, Kaden left him on the planet Veldin for his own safety before fighting Tachyon to what he thought was his death after staying behind to protect the Lombaxes.

Although he lost, he was unexpectedly saved by his friends, Mags and Julie, when they built an illegal Dimensionator to retrieve him before he could die. Unfortunately, the Council was so spooked by Tachyon that they banned Dimensionators outright to prevent anyone from returning to the original dimension to eliminate any chance of Tachyon following them through--stranding Kaden from his son.

Even though Kaden did all he could to try and go back--even ending up in prison for a short time for being caught building his own Dimensionator--all he could do was appeal to them every single month for twenty years in the vain hope his son was still alive.

Thankfully, Ratchet would reunite with him when he returned to the Lombaxes, allowign Kaden to fulfill his promise he made to Marie all those years ago. And with Ratchet's arrival, came the unexpected consequence of being able to meet a new friend and eventual new wife, Chief Alice Wells, and later (accidentally) having a second child with her, their daughter Lucy.

Over the years, Kaden would find himself from making peace with the fact he'd die alone as a failed father to the patriarch and great-grandfather of a large and extremely crazy family that he wouldn't trade anything in the entire multiverse for loving every single one of them with all his heart.

Kaden's best friends, Julie and Mags, the head and cohead of the Center's Weapons and Interdimensional Divisions, respectfully, who saved Kaden at the last minute from Tachyon by building a dimensionator to retrieve him before death.

While Mags is known to everyone else as the Lombax that helped Kaden find their new home in the Great Exodus, those closest to him know him as one of the best, most loyal friends you can ever have. Intelligent, enthusiastic about both ships and the interdimensional, he can be a little awkward at times, but makes for a fun friend if you can understand half the jargon he talks about.

Although he once had a twin sister who he was close to that died in a freak accident during the Great Exodus, Mags was extremely lucky to eventually find out that her daughter, his niece, Rivet (or Rosie, as she would have been named) survived, allowing himself to be the uncle he always wanted to be.

And right alongside him is Julie (or Cool Aunt Julie, as she wishes to be called from both Ratchet and Rivet), who is aptly described as a living ball of chaos that if left alone would probably find a way to explode something in the name of science and badassery in an effort to find yet another insane idea for a gun.

But even her mere existence can be argued as a health hazard for others in the room, she is fiercely loyal to anybody she latches onto, being Mags and Kaden 99% of the time, even if she bickers with them both about nearly everything--especially on the topic of convincing them to build a gun into the Dimensionator "Because it'd be so cool, just think about it!"

Even despite the fact that she and Mags have been bickering nonstop for the years they've known each other, they eventually started dating and married after years of working at the Center made them undateable to normal people, which suited them just fine.

Along with Kaden, they are extremely close three peas in a pod that have an unbreakable bond after supporting each other through post-Tachyon misery for over twenty years.

Chief (Alice) Wells of the Lombax City Guard, who has a tough-as-nails attitude, but a secret softie side that only a few are permitted to see.

Sick of her mens' shit from growing extremely complacent over the years after the newly-bolstered post-Tachyon Praetorian Guard made New Fastoon one of the safest planets ever, Wells has grown one hell of a temper, being able to come up with very creative insults and punishments (including tazing her own men without hesitation after they call her a bitch under his breath), almost everyone who meets her is scared of her. Almost.

If there's anything she hates most, it is little punks who treat the law as a mere suggestion, and as such, it was natural for her and Ratchet (and eventually Rivet (AKA Punk and Missy)) to have an intense feud that make them hate each other's guts--especially Ratchet's, after his arrival to the Lombaxes caused a city-wide chase that made the City Guard look like fools.

But even then, she and Kaden soon found themselves in an unexpected friendship, and even more unexpectedly, a relationship that would eventually have them married and have a surprise daughter, Lucy.

Even though Wells would say she HATES being the Punk's stepmom out of technicality, deep down, she (and Ratchet) grow a soft spot for each other that would have them respect each other somewhat--as long as no one else would be able to see.

But if you asked her if she loved Ratchet's children, she would say with no hesitation that she loves her grandbabies with all her heart.

Ratchet's kind (and short) yet unfortunately deceased mother, Marie.

When she and Kaden first met as teenagers at the Academy, it was love at first sight, and after being sick of being forced to watch them awkwardly flirt and dance around their mutual crush, their best friends Lorna and Alister pushed them to finally date, and the rest was history.

Dating through the Academy, Kaden's Praetorian training and induction to the Center, Marie's graduation from Vapedia's college, the two married, and their lives couldn't be any happier.

But when Marie announced she was pregnant (by accident after a night of drunken celebration of Kaden's promotion to General), Kaden was admittedly scared and disliked the idea of being a father, but voiced no such thoughts at seeing Marie be so happy at being a mother.

But thankfully, when Ratchet (or Kipler, as he was to be named) was born, Kaden's fear turned to ecstasy and unspeakable joy, wishing right alongside Marie to be the best parent ever.

However, when Tachyon attacked, Marie died saving Ratchet from their collapsing home, and with her final words, told Kaden to promise her to protect their son, a promise Kaden upholds to this day, even as he sees himself become a great-grandfather.

And although Kaden now finds himself with a new wife and second child, he still loves Marie with all his heart, and now loves her through their son that shares her blood--and her height, never failing to make jokes at Ratchet's expense, as "If not even your mom never got to escape my jokes, then neither should you, shorty."

Rivet's deceased parents, Dex and Kayla, the respective head of maintenance and high-ranking interdimensional researcher at the Lombaxes' Interdimensional Research Colony on Savali in Rivet's dimension.

Back before Tachyon attacked, some Lombaxes lived and operated in a research colony on the planet Savali, home of the Interdimensional Archives, and headed at the time by Mags, being his responsiblity as cohead of the Interdimensional Division.

Although Kayla, his twin sister, was just as bright as him and fully capable of such a role, she was content with just being a researcher, always avid to learn about the next breakthrough. But as a result, she had a tendency to be quite awkward at times, especially when it came to her eventual crush on the colony's head of maintenance/local handyman, Dex, responsible for fixing anything that breaks in the colony, from integral machinery to coffeemakers.

Instead of trying to talk to him like a normal person, Kayla had an ingenious idea of intentionally destroying her appliances and calling him over to fix it, where they would 'happen' to chat as he repaired her stuff, which worked quite well for a while until Dex asked her out because "It sounds nicer to talk to you over a nice dinner than over me fixing your toaster that 'accidentally' fell onto a hammer about eight times for the third time this week, right?"

The two would go on to marry, and eventually, have a little girl that they and Mags absolutely adored. Disaster would strike during the Great Exodus, where while they were returning back to Savali from an off-planet trip, they would fly into the territory of a new 'Empire' and be shot down over Sargasso with Mags watching their final moments over a call urging them to come back home ASAP, leading him to believe his family had died in front of him.

However, while the call had ended from their crashing ship, they had placed their infant daughter in an escape pod in the nick of time, sacrificing themselves, but saving Rivet. She safely landed on Sargasso to be eventually raised by the Morts, and even later, aided by Ratchet and Kaden to overthrow the Nefarious Empire that unknowingly killed her parents, and allowed her the chance to meet her Uncle Mags that she never knew existed.

Ratchet and Rivet's (taller) firstborn child and rambunctious daughter, Mallet-Marie (nicknamed Mallarie).

When Ratchet and Rivet found out they were pregnant, they initially wanted to name their daughter 'Mallet' similarly to their own tool names they themselves had. Kaden, however, argued against it, saying that while they might not have grown up 'normally', their daughter will, and she 'at least needs a normal name to not be bullied with, please.' So, they compromised, and gave her both a tool name and a normal name, of which they named in honor of Ratchet's late mother--who she happened to have great resemblance to as well, to their pleasant surprise. Needless to say, Kaden was very happy with her name.

Growing up as the daughter to a family of renowned heroes from her intergalactically famous father, Ratchet, her mother that led a resistance to overthrow an entire galactic empire, Rivet, and her heroic grandfather that helped save and protect their entire species, Kaden, Mallarie sought to follow in their footsteps, thirsting for a life of adventure and--most importantly--fun.

As a result, she loves mischief and unwise ideas (with Ratchet and Rivet believing that it was karma against them for the hell they themselves raised growing up), always up for the first sign of adventure, no matter how dangerous or impulsive it may be.

And when her 'nerdy' brother, Miter-Mags, came along (via 4-year-old Mallarie poking holes in 'mommy and daddy's funny balloons' as a prank), her secondary objective was to 'de-nerdify' him by dragging him along on her adventures whenever she could, even if he protested against it, complaining that he wasn't into the idea of sharing their parents' exciting lifestyles.

However, Mallarie's impulsiveness to drag Miter on her dangerous adventures would catch up to her, and on an adventure gone wrong, Miter would lose his leg saving Mallarie from being killed. To say Ratchet and Rivet were furious is an understatement, and feeling ashamed and miserable that she nearly killed her brother, Mallarie would flee to Savali to be alone--but with her Aunt Kit following her.

Kit would help Mallarie deal with the all-too-familiar feeling of nearly killing a loved one and causing them to lose a limb--admitting the truth of her mother's missing arm was because Kit shot her a long time ago. And so, after a few weeks of talking and reflection, Mallarie came back home to face her family for forgiveness--only to find that her brother was not mad at her at all, saying he'd gladly lose his other leg if it meant his sister would still be alive. And upon seeing his forgiveness, Ratchet and Rivet apologized to Mallarie for unfairly blaming her completely for the accident, and the family would move on stronger than they were before.

Although the experience sobered Mallarie to her adventuring ways, it didn't kill her mischievous spirit, and upon meeting a wannabe rebel in Jett, a Lombax she met while sitting in jail yet again, proceeded to try and teach him the ways of being a rebel punk like her.

But what she didn't expect, however, was find a kind, loving gentleman in him that made her want to settle down with him, eventually becoming her boyfriend. And when her brother accidentally had a child, they both talked about their future together, and decided they wanted to marry and have a family.

As a result, Mallarie cleaned up her act and enlisted in the Praetorian Guard, where she quickly rose through the ranks to become a General like her grandpa to support her eventual twin daughters Allie and Rose, getting all the adventure she ever wanted.

But even grown up as a respected General and all they've been through, Mallarie still teases her brother about being a 'dumb nerd' to this day.

Ratchet and Rivet's second (just as short) child and intelligent, voice-of-reason son, Miter-Mags.

Named similarly after Mallarie, and in honor of Rivet's uncle, Mags, Miter takes much after him in terms of intelligence and curiosity. Unlike the rest of his immediate family, Miter enjoys a quieter lifestyle, interested not in guns and adventures, but in books and the unknowns of science.

With encouragement from his grandpa Kaden and great-uncle Mags, Miter graduated all the way from college with the Lombaxes to eventually work under them at the Center for Advanced Lombax Research in the Interdimensional Division.

However, this and his interested made him a 'boring nerd' in his sister's eyes, and as such, was unable to completely escape his family's lifestyle, finding himself begrudgingly dragged away on dangerous adventures by his sister in an effort to make him 'cooler', forcing him to learn a thing or two about fighting in the process.

However, disaster would strike one day when he lost a leg protecting his sister on an adventure gone wrong. Being blamed by their parents, Mallarie fled from home while Miter remained to recover from his injury, Rivet being there the most from him, and hating the fact that her son suffered the same fate she did, losing a leg while she lost an arm.

But while Rivet helped him get over the loss of a limb, Miter similarly helped his parents get over the anger they felt towards Mallarie, as he hated seeing her sister in so much distress, and seeing his family being divided, and slowly convinced them that it wasn't her fault since he could have simply refused to go, and saying that they should be thankful that they are both still alive.

Thankfully, Mallarie eventually returned, allowing everyone to make up and apologize for regrettable things that have been said, and to better help move on from the incident, everyone pitched in to help build Miter a yellow prosthetic similar to Rivet's, a symbol of their love overcoming a struggle as great as this one.

And as it turned out, his amputation was a blessing in disguise, as when he returned to work, a very shy coworker of his, Estelle, was the most concerned about his accident, asking if he was okay, and always being there to help him whenever he needed it, her worry overpowering her ordinary shyness.

After a while of getting to know each other, the two would start dating, and upon finding out and enjoying his new girlfriend's secretly extremely high libido, the two would accidentally end up having a child together--something that literally everyone expected Mallarie to do and not 'actually sensible and reasonable Miter'.

Thankfully, it was a happy accident, and Miter and Estelle would marry and happily raise their son, Jules, with Miter eventually being handed the mantle of Keeper of the Dimensionator after his grandfather retires from the profession.

And even though Miter found himself at the butt of his sister's short jokes for his entire life, with her escaping their parents' acquired genes of shorter height to his chagrin, he found that a second blessing in disguise of his amputation was that kicking his sister's shins in response was much more effective with a metal prosthetic than his natural foot.

Kaden and Wells' open softie yet fiery-on-the-inside daughter, Lucille 'Lucy' Wells.

Accidentally entering the world when her mother demanded Kaden a 'destressing' session after a particularly bad day, with Wells neglecting protection in her fervor because 'we're probably too old to have kids anyway, just get over here and take off your pants already', Lucy was quite an unexpected development in her family's life, but far from unwelcome.

Although, Wells initially feared being a mother (and Ratchet loathed the idea of getting a half-sister from The Bitch™) due to the responsibility that comes with it, with her always denying the fact that she was pregnant despite the obvious symptoms, like morning sickness (she just had a long-lasting flu), her strange nighttime cravings (it's totally normal to eat pickles and tutti-frutti ice cream at midnight, KADEN), and gaining some weight (it's just too many pickles and tutti-frutti ice cream). Eventually, though, thanks to many talks from Kaden and new mother herself, Rivet, Wells would come to accept her new daughter (who would earn the pet names Pickles and Tutti Frutti due to being the blamed cause of Wells' baby bump).

Due to the timing of her birth, Lucy grew up quite close with Mallarie and Miter (of whom would be her niece and nephew, despite the fact that Mallarie was older than her by a year or two), often being confused as their sister, although she honestly was close enough to be one.

And as Kaden and Wells would find out, even though Lucy was as cute as a button and outwardly very sweet and loving of cute things, she had also inherited her mother's Wrath of Wells, giving her a bit of a temperament and capacity to unleash hell on any unfortunate soul dumb who pissed her off.

In her childhood, Kaden got her a pink Protopet as a gift, given by Angela Cross (who had in fact fled to the Lombaxes years prior, working as a biologist at the Center), and Lucy immediately fell in love with her and named her Pinky. Wells, while initially irritated that Kaden got a pet without talking to her first, would come to actually love Pinky as well--especially once she saw how terrified of it Ratchet was due to his past experience with Protopets. Thankfully, Ratchet too would come to like Pinky--but only after they locked him in a room with her until he stopped screaming once they were tired of him refusing to let him or his children even step near their house after they got her.

And in her teenage years, Lucy eventually found herself head over heels with a girl in her class, Cecily, finding her goth fashion, intelligence in poetry and philosophy, and (most importantly) big breasts quite attractive. Unfortunately for her, just like her half-brother and father, she was an awkward mess with romance, and struggled to talk to her. Fortuantely, though, Cecily (or Cee Cee, as a nickname) loved Pinky, and the two eventually bonded when Pinky ran away from home with Cecily finding her, leading to them dating, and later on, marrying.

As for a career, Lucy wanted to follow her mother's footsteps in joining the City Guard to help make the world a safer place for the average citizen, sharing her family's willingness to do good, and found that her mother gave absolutely zero preferential treatment towards her daughter, treating her as just a normal recruit.

While it was a struggle at first adapting to her mother yelling at her after being used to her being sweet with her, it only served to make Lucy quite an effective officer, and with the edge that the Wrath of Wells gave her on her job to enforce order and justice, she quickly rose through the ranks of City Guard. Soon, she would be promoted to Chief of the City Guard to protect their sister dimension's city once Lombaxes return to the old Fastoon to rebuild their ancestral home, and even later on, fully succeeding her mother in leading the City Guard across two dimensions.

Even then, though, she never did escape Mallarie's teasing, from being called 'Copper' for both her fur color and profession, having to deal with constantly arresting Mallarie herself (alongside Wells) during her rebellious years, and once promoted to Chief, Mallarie teasing how she was just a 'lowly Chief' while she herself was 'an awesome General' in the Praetorians. Luckily for Lucy, though, she was raised by one of the biggest smartasses on Fastoon, so she'd always be sure to throw a comeback that'd make her father proud.

Born as Jeremiah, Jett wants nothing to do with the family he's been given, wanting to be as far away as possible from them.

Although one would think that being born in an elite, aristocratic family with its patriarch having a seat on the Council of the Center for Advanced Lombax Research would be a one-way ticket to an easy life, it is anything but for Jett.

Being raised by parents who don't want him and a grandfather that cares not about Jett's desires to be anything other than the future Councilman they all want him to be, to say that Jett hates his family is an understatement. Although he does want to do good to help people, with his family arguing that the best way to go about it is being a Councilman to enact laws and such, Jett wants to help people directly, and he feels as though being a Councilman only serves to help his privileged family remain privileged, helping the elite more than the people.

And between his loveless, misogynistic father that brings home a different woman every week, his perpetually drunken mother that numbs her life with luxuries, and his cold, elderly Councilman grandfather that seems to make decisions 'for the greater good' without caring about those that they hurt, and the slew of shallow aristocrates they all meet with, Jett is sick of the elite lifestyle.

So, stating that his name was no longer Jeremiah and now Jett, he entered a rebellious phase to finally gain all the freedom he ever wanted, trying to act as rebels are supposed to do, from joyriding his parents' stolen ships and graffiti. Only problem was that, quite franky, he sucked at being a punk instead of a gentleman, and didn't know what to do.

However, after sitting in jail from a joyride, he happened to meet Mallarie (who immediately nicknamed him 'Spot' over his fur marking on his eye), who upon learning his want to be a rebel to escape his 'asshole family', took him under her wing to teach him how to have real fun, making him tag along on her adventures and mischievous escapades to teach him how to be a rebel.

However, Jett found himself falling in love with Mallarie, especially after meeting her family and getting a taste of what it's like to have relatives that love you unconditionally--especially if she too had a Councilman grandfather that had the capacity to be a loving patriarch. And after opening up about his own loveless family, he was unofficially accepted into Mallarie's shortly after they started dating, who he now considered to be his real family now.

Once Jett's family learned of him and Mallarie dating, they sought to make him date 'within your own class' by trying to set him up with an aristocratic snob, Brittney. Jett, however, hated being forced on dates with her by his family, and it was the final straw to make him leave them all for good.

Now with a family where he was actually loved and accepted for who he was, he and Mallarie talked about their future together, and decided to have a family of their own, with Mallarie getting a career in the Praetorians to help support them.

When they had their twin daughters, Allie and Rose, Jett became a stay-at-home dad, wanting to be in their lives for as much as possible, wanting to be the best parent he never got, loving his children with the love he so desperately wished to have himself growing up.

But when they got older, and the task of being a full-time parent was no longer needed, Jett decided that he wanted to fulfill his desire to help people once more, but this time, instead of going on heroic adventures with Mallarie, he decided to pursue a career as a Councilman, now on his terms instead of his family's.

Although he wished he had a family like Mallarie's growing up, he is more than happy that he was able to ensure that his own daughters grew up with the happy childhood he never had.

Estelle--It's always the quiet ones.

Growing up with intense social anxiety all her life, being a quiet, shy, wallflower bookworm, no one would suspect sweet and intelligent Estelle to consistently have the highest libido in the room.

Whenever she isn't dedicated herself to the pursuit of interdimensional knowledge, quickly finding herself a job as a high-ranking researcher in the Interdimensional Division, she is indulging in her favorite hobby of reading smutty romance novels, having quite the collection.

While working in the Interdimensional Division, she found herself getting a crush on her coworker, Miter, always loving his charm and intellect, but always being to shy to say more than a few passing words to him. But after he suffered from his accident and not being able to show up to work for a month, only getting updates from his grandfather Kaden and great-uncle Mags who also worked there, Estelle grew very worried about him.

Luckily, he eventually came back, but upon seeing him missing a leg with a new prosthetic, Estelle's worry overpowered her anxiety, wanting to make sure that he was alright, sparking their first real conversation together. Ever since then, Estelle was always willing to help Miter out whenever he needed it, and being braver to actually talk to him now that they actually somewhat knew each other, allowing them both to work more closely together. And soon enough, Estelle mustered up the guts to ask him out--something that made Miter a bit sore because he too was trying to get enough nerve to ask her out only to be beaten by her.

He quickly found out just how much of a sex drive his seemingly innocent girlfriend had, on top of learning of her hobby for smutty and romantic novels, but luckily for her, he did not judge her one bit for her somewhat embarrassing hobby--especially when he found the smut she had secretly written about them as well. He was more than happy to help her indulge in her libido, however.

But it was said indulgence that led to an accidental pregnancy with their child, but thankfully, Miter and Estelle felt up to the task, and decided to marry and raise their unexpected son, Jules.

Although the incident served as a stark reminder for the importance of protection, it did nothing to stifle Estelle's sex drive, always loving the fact that she was able to find true love like all the girls of her smutty romance novels did--except her one true love was a short scientist instead of a broad, scantily-clad burly hunk.

Cecily is a true example of don't judge a book by its cover--nor by its taste in music and fashion.

Although one would think that with her goth outfit and many piercings that Cecily (or Cee Cee, as those closest to her also call her) is a punk, you wouldn't be further from the truth. In stark contrast to her fashion sense and preferred taste of heavy metal music, Cecily is often a quiet and stoic individual, not by any sense of anxiety, but rather from a mindset of not needing to speak unless she has something to say.

And thanks to her love of poetry and philosophy, much of what Cecily has to say is quite meaningful and full of beauty--which is exactly why Lucy fell in love with her in the first place, on top of finding her quite physically attractive as well.

Contrary to what Lucy thought, Cecily did know she existed, and also found her awkward attempts at getting to know her quite endearing. And luckily, Lucy's pet protopet, Pinky, similarly loved Cecily, and happened to run to her when she ran away one day, allowing her and Lucy a perfect opportunity to talk.

And much like Marie and Ratchet's partners, Cecily did too find Lucy's inherited romantic awkwardness very cute and charming, and soon began dating Lucy, finding her to be an extremely dedicated and loving partner.

While Lucy would go on to find a career in the City Guard as an officer and eventual Chief, Cecily instead pursued her passion in writing and poetry, and while not becoming as popular so as to go down in the history books, found enough success that she can be happy with a job, wife, and cute and cuddly pet that she loves.

From Kaden, his own family, and pretty much everyone else that meets him, they all agree on one thing; Harold is undoubtedly the epitome of a crotchety old man.

Already having a bit of gruffness to him in his younger days, it was only made worse when Tachyon attacked, killing his beloved wife, Cynthia, and nearly destroying the planet that he loved. As a result, Councilman Harold was the most vocal proponent to banning Dimensionators outright to prevent any chance of encountering Tachyon ever again.

As a result, however, him and fellow Councilman Kaden had a bitter rivalry, with Harold always standing as Kaden's biggest obstacle between him and retrieving his son for the twenty whole years they were separated. Harold did not care, however, as he always stood for doing what was for the greater good of all Lombaxes--even if it meant crushing the dreams of others.

When Ratchet arrived to prove Harold wrong that Ratchet was not in fact a 'dead and rotting pile of bones that Tachyon has undoubtedly dealt with by now, Kaden', it did nothing to change his attitude or demeanor, only making him agree that it was like father, like son: They were both smartasses that annoyed him to no end.

But while he was a respected Councilman, albeit agreeable, his home life fared no better, with the death of his wife making him a cold man towards his own family to their own detriment, especially towards his rebellious grandson.

As his son, Felix, and his daughter-in-law, Ophelia, were questionable in their parenting skills in the best of times, Harold was one of the most present relatives in Jett's life that showed him the most love--which was not saying much. Even though they used to be close, Jett's disillusionment to his family's lifestyle and expectations of him drove them apart, coming to a head when Jett firmly denounced his entire family to say that he was leaving them--for Kaden's family.

To hear his own grandson say that Harold's most bitter rival was a better grandparent than he ever was stung more than he thought, especially when Kaden himself reamed into Harold one time for squandering the family he had while Kaden fought him for the right to even have one for twenty whole years.

Having his most loved relative abandon him began a period of reflection in Harold's life, which was unfortunately not for much longer. On his deathbed, he asked for Jett to see him, and in an emotional conversation, apologized to Jett for not giving him the love that he should have been given, and even though he knew it was too late to give it now, he was happy to see that he had found it with Mallarie and the rest of Kaden's family, and made Jett promise to be a better man than both him and his father.

Although the experience would leave Jett with bittersweet feelings, it at least made him feel more at peace with his decision to leave his family with his grandfather's blessing and love, making the few happy memories he had with him all the sweeter.

The epitome of a dysfunctional and loveless family, Felix and Ophelia.

Thanks to his father Harold's more neglectful style of parenthood due to his wife's death during Tachyon's attack, Felix unfortunately grew up with some bad habits--particularly, having the same neglectful mindset of being a parent.

Ophelia was actually of a lower class than Harold's more aristrocratic background, and when the two started dating, she was pressured into marrying him to secure her own place with the elite, but finding out much too late that with Felix and his misogynistic beliefs and bitter attitude, she made a poor choice.

In an effort to save their marriage, the two had a child, Jeremiah (later deeming himself 'Jett'), only to find that it amplified the problems with Felix being an absent, harsh father that soon found a regular hobby of bringing escorts home, and Ophelia numbing her loathsome life with drinking and empty pleasures of a wealthy lifestyle, also opting to neglect their son.

While the two of them fell out of love long ago, now trapped in a loveless marriage, the only thing they could agree on was that their son would be a disappointment if he never became a Councilman to further secure their class status once Harold dies. They made sure to voice this to Jett for his whole life, on top of the odd insult and statement that they would have probably been happier if they never had him in the first place.

With parents like these, it was no surprise when Jett disowned himself and never looked back, and while Harold was the only one who was most hurt by it, Felix and Ophelia were simply annoyed and opted for a 'good riddance' attitude.

However, seeing Jett leave their family gave Ophelia enough courage to finally leave her loveless and long-since-dead marriage, and left Felix with his constant weekly escorts to try and find her own happiness in life.

Wherever she or Felix ended up after Jett left, however, he doesn't really know, nor does he care at all, only that they remain out of his and his children's life forever.

With the both of them being among the most insufferable and vapid people one can meet, Brad and Brittney truly are made for each other.

Ever since puberty, Brad's main goal in life is to get laid whenever he can--guys, girls, doesn't matter as long as he has a good time. As a result, he has racked up one hell of a body count over the years, and broken-hearted exes to go with it. And even though he gained a reputation from his countless conquests, that he cares more about maintaining his admittedly attractive looks than his actual partner for the week, Mallarie neglected to listen when he asked her out, believing that she could 'fix him'.

The fact that he flirted with both her parents, her brother, and her (lesbian) aunt Lucy upon introducing him wasn't enough to deter Mallarie despite literally everyone telling her she should run. But thankfully, the situation 'fixed' itself once she turned down Brad's instent offer to finally have sex--Mallarie arguing that if she was losing her virginity, it wasn't in the back of a ship after getting fast food--and upon seeing that Mallarie wasn't going to be an easy conquest, he dumped her, forever cementing the family's hate towards him.

Brittney, on the other hand, was born in a high-class family, and as such, finds anyone one poorer and/or of lower-class far beneath her, and has had everything handed to her on a silver platter. Her family tried to set her up to date Jett as a ploy from his family to try and get him away from Mallarie.

Unsurprisingly, Jett paid no attention to Brittney on their forced dates, both from the fact that he already had a girlfriend, and the fact that he hated Brittney's vapid, selfish, and elitist personality. So after one last date crashed with Mallarie's aid, Jett left Brittney behind, which upset her greatly in thinking that she wasn't good enough.

She decided to drown her sorrows in a high-class bar later that night, where she happened to run into Brad, who upon convincing her that he was totally some rich dude that's clearly in the same class status of her, they had a one-night stand. But after being so lucky for so long, Brad's luck ran out as Brittney ended up pregnant to both of their dismay.

However, as the reality of him being a father began to hit him, something changed inside of Brad, making him decide to try and turn around his ways to be the best dad he can be to provide for his family. Luckily, Brittney's CEO dad (who was very displeased about the pregnancy as well) got him a job at his company's mailroom, and thanks to Brad's natural charisma, managed to work his way up to a respectable managerial position in the company over the years to support their son, Oliver.

And although his and Brittney's relationship was rocky at the start, neither wishing for a relationship nor even a child together, they did all they could to try and make it work together, which thankfully, they did, their new child and marriage doing wonders to change their otherwise selfish ways and grow to be better people.

Brad and Brittney would even later run into Mallarie and Jett, respectively, and apologize to them for their shitty selves they had to deal with when they had to 'date' them, saying that they had grown up and matured since then.

To this day, the two couples are actually good friends, allowing their children to grow up playing with each other and becoming best friends--and even allowing a budding romance to blossom between them as well.

However, it doesn't make it any less awkward when Brad still runs into one of his many exes on his day-to-day.

Ratchet and Rivet's grandchildren; Allie, Rose, and Jules.

To be honest, I decided that this generation is my cutoff point for developing my AU, as if I went beyond this, I know I would never stop making this family huge, so not every much is decided on what they actually do as it doesn't really matter lmao

Allie and Rose are Mallarie and Jett's twin daughters, named after Wells and Rivet, respectively (with Wells' first name being Alice and Rivet's original birth name being Rosie). Allie would grow up to be more headstrong while Rose woudl grow up more shy and reserved.

Jules is Miter and Estelle's son (and the oldest of his cousins), and he is named after Julie--mostly because she was very butthurt that Kaden and Ratchet didn't name any of their children after her. Needless to say, she was very happy.

Brad and Brittney's son, Oliver, or 'Oli' as everyone calls him.

Similar to Allie/Rose/Jules, Oliver is in the generation that I am deciding not to develop to stop myself from going overboard, so not much is decided about him outside of the fact that he is Allie and Rose's childhood friend, and that he ends up in a relationship with one of them (probably Allie).

And don't worry, he isn't a vapid asshole like his parents were.

Jett's grandma/Harold's late wife, Cynthia.

Not much is developed of her because of the fact that she's been dead and honestly doesn't have much bearing on the AU as a whole, but Harold used to be not as crotchety and cold when she was around, and she was quite the gossip, but an otherwise sweet and kind lady.

Wells' late ex-Praetorian father, Ulysses.

Ulysses used to be a respected Praetorian captain back in his day before retiring to spend more time with his family, including Wells when she was a little girl, who looked up to him very much.

But when Tachyon attacked, while his family evacuated, he stayed behind to aid his fellow Praetorians in the evacuation, but unfortunately was killed by Tachyons' forces. As a result, Wells vowed to follow her father's footsteps in wanting to make the world a better, safer place, sparking her fire in pursuing a career in the City Guard--opting to enlist with them rather than the Praetorians because Wells felt as though the City Guard makes more of an impact on the average person's life, being able to better see the fruits of her labor for herself.

Wells' mother (or sister?), Sierra.

At first, Sierra was drawn to be Wells' mother (as my friend wanted to know more about Wells' backstory), and that she died with her father to better establish her motivations to want to do good--mostly by the fact that they accidentally instilled a workaholic mentality into Wells before they died.

But then another friend thought of the juicy idea of Sierra being alive purely so that she and Ratchet (and Rivet) actually bond so that Wells would have to watch with horror as her mom would become frineds with The Punk and Missy.

But then I had the idea of what if Sierra was Wells' older and more fun-loving sister for those juicy sisterly dynamics, still making her and Ratchet pals, but also so that Kaden can ask her for dating advice.

I am still on the fence about how she is related to Wells, so she's a work-in-progress lol

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so, that was the "short" character overview of all the (current) main characters currently planned in my AU!

If you're interested in reading more, read the series so far here on AO3!

[saturdaynightghostclub]

First of all, my dear, all ideas kind of stem from the same thing. Where are Leander and professor now? Given that the original series took place in the 90s, what do you think they’d be up to?

My other ideas - what did their wedding look like? Did they end up just eloping?

Lastly, and maybe controversial, did they have kids? I’m just a kid person so I always wonder but given Leander’s past I want to know your take.

With love, Leander nonnie ☺️

Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll answer two of your questions and save the other one for later (keep those darling little eyes peeled for something special soon!).

1. Where are they now?

I kind of feel like it would defeat the purpose of Leander’s whole arc if he ended up super rich and successful, so I’m going to say that he ends up moving up at his firm until he’s making a comfortable amount of money, then settling in until he retires. As for our Professor, I feel like she job-hops throughout her thirties, maybe does some freelance work here and there, and eventually finds something stable at a hip woman-owned publication or something like that (I guess that all depends on the career you imagined for her since I left it open-ended, but I always imagine her writing somewhere).

Eventually they buy a little house in the city, get a dog (it’s either an immaculately groomed cocker spaniel or the jankiest, scruffiest mutt you’ve ever seen), and set down roots. I think it takes them a while to start decorating or even unpacking because they’re hesitant to accept that it’s permanent even once they’re married and have no plans to move again in the near future, but once they start to get comfortable they don’t stop. Their house becomes a reflection of the two of them: warm colors, soft fabrics, and secondhand furniture. This leads us to the other question I’ll answer today:

2. Do they have kids?

Now, if you don’t like my answer or if it doesn’t resonate with you, feel free to pretend I never wrote it (I certainly won’t canonize anything to the contrary).

I don’t think these two ever wind up having kids for a variety of reasons. Number one is the generational trauma of it all; in a lot of cases, your own parents sucking is a good enough reason not to reproduce. Number two is that they’re both neurotic enough to (in my opinion) be the type of parents who let their anxieties overcome them when it comes to their kids. And lastly, I’m just honestly so averse to parenthood that I didn’t write any of these characters with kids in mind—which doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t be a part of the natural progression for this couple, it just means that it never crossed my mind lmao.

I do have this idea knocking around in my head where our protagonist has a pregnancy scare—there’s a lot of “oh shit oh shit oh shit” and then panicking on the bathroom floor while she waits for the test results—but it feels too controversial to actually write, and I’m not sure I could do justice to such a sensitive situation, especially with my own prejudice toward the subject matter. To clarify, parenthood is a beautiful thing and I wish everyone who wants to take part in it the opportunity to do so, but my own experiences have made me a bit jaded in that area :’)

I think both of them are really good with kids despite not having any of their own—if any friends or family members have kids, these two are the first to volunteer to babysit. They’re practically uncle and auntie to every kid in their lives, which is fulfilling in its own way.

Thanks for the ask, my love! I always love hearing from you ♥️

[teeny-tiny-revenge]

Thinking about episode endings after a full series rewatch, and how well they are each crafted, and how they play into the character's arcs and trajectories. It's very consistent, too. OFMD's episode endings are meticulously designed and leave you with a very specific mood you are supposed to take away from each episode.

Episode 1? The plot is a mixed bag of moods, funny and heartbreaking both as we learn about Stede's past and his not so super successful pirate career. We see Stede begin to bond with his crew a bit towards the end, seeming to start finding his footing in piracy. He defeats an old bully. Nigel gets what he had coming for him, really. The Revenge crew ends the episode celebrating, the ship flying all of their flags as a sign for the community they will come to be. Stede through? Stede ends the episode crying. Alone. Isolated from his crew. Isolated and appearing like a strong manly man who killed a bully. But it isn't what is good for him. The music is sad. Stede's sad. He misses his family. He's alone and adrift. Not a happy ending. Not even a very hopeful ending.

Episode 2 is better. Stede didn't only go on an adventure and was successful at it, he is healing from his guilt over Badminton, not because he now became a bloodthirsty killer pirate, but because he found support and care and human connection from the tribal elder and from beginning to actually bond with his crew. The ending ia hopeful, with music that fits this vibe. Stede is getting better. He's finding his own way to do things now. Instead of trying to fit the mould of default pirate captains, he'll be a polite menace. That'll be his own brand. (We are told this early that characters will be happy and successful if they receive love and support and can lead lives that fit their personality. This theme continues throughout. This show is super consistent with its concepts.)

Episode 3 is funny because throughout it seems to be going well(ish) for Stede, but the ending is a disaster. He's nearly dead when the episode draws to a close. And yet, the ending feels super hopeful, with the music and Ed's appearance. It doesn't matter that Stede is the worst pirate captain in history; the love of his life just walked on stage!

The mood in episode 4 is influenced heavily by getting to actually know Ed and by Ed and Stede meeting and their immediate chemistry. With the fuckery and the marmalade breakfast, it feels like it's off to a happy ending, but then Ed feels like he has to wrap his wish to retire into a Blackbeard suitable coat for Izzy, and there goes the happy mood. Ed's face when he turns his back on Izzy kills me every time, because this is not the face of a man who wants to commit a spot of murder. This is the face of a man treading water, waiting to drown. And "The Empty Boat"? Fuck. (This ending is the Ed-version of us being told that a) traditional piracy is not a good way of life and b) that bending ourselves to fit an expectation is going to harm us.)

Episode 5 has a hopeful ending. Romantic moment under a full moon, even after a bad time at the fancy party. Because the fancy party is unimportant, what's important is that you have someone on your side who accepts and supports you.

And this goes on through the entire show. The ending of an episode tells us exactly if things are good or bad for our protagonists. Episodes have hopeful, happy endings when they individually work towards being true to themselves and doing what makes them happy, regardless of what others might think, and when they are together. This is a romance, the show is the relationship, and things end well when they are together and in tune. Co-captains! The Chain! They end this episode tied up by the Navy, but it's a hopeful, good ending because they are together. Ed came back (never left).

They are miserable when apart and when trying to live according to outsider ideals. Episode 9 and 10 have sad endings, 10 slightly less because Stede's part is hopeful, but it doesn't really save us from the misery of Ed sobbing in the window. I could cry over the ending credits to Impossible Birds every time, how do they make this song feel so fucking sad? Ed's little "dismissed"?😭 And the utter silence and storm sounds, no music, after Ed's broken "Finally"? Fuck. They want us to get out of these episodes feeling utterly destroyed, and they are successful. It doesn't even matter that even those dark episodes at the end of season one and beginning of season two have plenty of actually funny and hopeful moments, because this sad endingis the feeling that stays with you.

But the moment they are back together? They're holding hands so tightly. There's a little life still there. A lot of strength left. S2 Episode 3 is a very heavy episode throughout, but the ending? So light and hopeful.

Episodes 4, 5 and 6 are like the opposite to the beginning of S1. There is conflict, and healing, many different moods, they aren't all light and funny episodes throughout, but each of them ends on a beautiful song and with Ed and Stede having a moment that brings them closer together. They're on the right way, and you can feel it. (Compare Episode 6's ending to the ending of the pilot. Stede killed a man who deserved it. He was crying after. But this time, he isn't isolated and alone. Ed's there to comfort him. This episode doesn't end with a sad song and Stede crying. It ends with a love song and fireworks while Ed and Stede make love for the first time and find comfort in each other. It's a similar situation in the beginning, but then it really isn't.)

Episode 7 has them both fumbling and falling back into bad patterns, and the ending isn't light and happy again, because they aren't.

But Episode 8? It's such an exciting whirlwind. The fights with the navy, the lovely letter, the reunion kiss. "I love you." "I know." Izzy's death. Episode 8 is a rollercoaster. But its ending? So happy and hopeful. They're together. They're doing what's good for them. The Revenge sails into the sunset. Ed and Stede have no second thoughts. Good bones. They're gonna be fine and happy and together.

I don't even know if this is a sensible analysis, but I feel like the endings of each episode just flow so well with the character arcs and allover plot. It feels very coherent. Like it's a theme. Like it was done on purpose. I know they wanted a third season and I'll be forever mad we didn't get it, but the two seasons that we got fit really well on a classic dramatic structure. Things kinda suck for the protagonists in the beginning, then it gets better when they grow as people and grow closer, then oops, catastrophe, and then everyone heals and things fall into place. And you can tell by the mood of the episode endings which part of this allover narrative arc you're on. I just think it's neat. It's very tight story telling.

(Also, looking at it like this, I'm pretty convinced they knew how likely a cancellation was the entire time they were writing s2. They hoped, sure, but they wrote not just the season finale, but the second season's entire arc with that in mind. It's written like the second half of a full story. The catastrophe is smack in the middle. Season 2 's arc steadily moves towards the happy ending. Good Omens' second season -comparable because they were both planned to be three part stories with similar runtimes - ends like OFMD's first season. GO S2 feels, in its entirety, like the middle of a story. It is continuously rising action, moving steadily towards disaster. OFMD's S2 moves steadily away from it starting in its third episode. This is written to be a full story. Yes there would have been more story to tell. But they wrote it to be complete anyway. It's baked into its very structure.)

[somecallmekay]

I wanna see a story about a sport where "the big bad rival" isn't some dick, he's a retired mentor who, while crushing any competition points wise always disqualifies themselves at the end "so the kids who worked hard can get their medals" and helps them train and gives advice. Then the Protagonist (P) challenges them, and the "Retired Mentor (RM)" crushes them too because they got excited over actually being beaten, and goes "sorry, got excited, I hope you'll beat me next time." Then, Protagonist trains and goes through a character arc WITH A DIFFERENT Mentor(OM) (VERY IMPORTANT), and The Big Competition happens and the Retired Mentor does what they always do and dominate in the first round, but when they notice the Protagonist is keeping up, they get excited, and they go all out, and the Protagonist follows even them, and they get really happy because Someone Is Giving Them A Challenge and instead of dropping out the go even harder and the protagonist matches and beats them, and they instead of being grumpy, CARRIES the protagonist back to the audience and celebrates them.

And then the protagonist goes to their own mentor who knows RM from way back and goes "they let me win didn't they" and the Other Mentor replies "if they did, they wouldn't be this happy. You both gave it your all, and you won. Congratulations."

And then RM sees P and OM talking and goes "OM, you bastard, I knew I recognised traces of your style, how are you my friend?"

And then P goes "I am now finally one of you! I'm a real [Sport player]!" And both RM and OM both go "no you dumbass, you were one of us from the beginning. "

No villan in the story at all. Just friendly people being friendly.

Run with the idea however you want, feel free to change bits if you want, code the characters however you want.

In my version RM and OM are heavily coded gay lovers and the story has parallels to transitioning MtNB, with the final shot being The Best Friend character (who's coded straight) looking at the P, OM, and RM going into the sunset and they say "they did it, they won!" which can be read as

"they (P and RM) both found joy in the sport again"

or

"They (P) did it, they accepted who they are, thus officially confirming their non-binarity".

The Best Friend, who has a black/white colour scheme and a dope jacket, then runs up to P, hugs them, and goes "it's not healthy for you to be in the cold this soon after the competition" and throws their jacket at P.

The P's main colour is purple because purple is generally considered an alien colour, because they feel like an alien to the world, but in the last scene, it mixess with the black and white jacket and the yellow sunset, thematically creating a NB flag over them.

But I never want people to state it. I don't want it marketed as a "NB" story. It should just be a sports story, if that makes sense.

[veilchenjaeger]

Okay, I hope this isn't weird. You wanted someone to talk to you about lesbian!Bingqiu and I really love taking M/M ships and making them F/F. The switch makes it so SQQ is the one who is now conforming to gendered expectations and LBH is the one breaking them. I think F!LBH might have a harder time breaking from toxic power accumulation, because it's also very freeing when you're expected to passively accept your lot in life.

Hey! This isn't weird at all! I'm delighted, and please DM me about this too if you want to!! (I automatically answer asks as, well, asks. I hope that's alright! But I am also always up to chat about lesbian Bingqiu!)

This is actually an aspect of lesbian Bingqiu I hadn't even thought of yet. Gods, they really do have the range. It's true though! In the context of a sexist PIDW universe (which it is, though less obviously so than e.g. the MDZS universe), Luo Binghe rising up to become the ruler of the demon realm very much goes against gendered expectations. And sexism would be one of the bazillion things holding her down in the beginning of the story that she has to overcome! It ties very well into Luo Binghe's initial theme of powerlessness, which in canon sparks his desire to be strong and able to defend himself (and his loved ones). It would also put an interesting spin on Luo Binghe's inherent desire to be a housewife, because that would fulfil gendered expectations. She'd probably still have that desire (a simple life with the one she loves), but yeah, she might be a little more reluctant to just quit her job as demon realm ruler and retire to a cottage, thus giving up all the power she accumulated to defend herself against sexist bullshit. (Though, again, themes of powerlessness - I feel like a lot of that desire to remain powerful is already part of Luo Binghe as a character. He never does quit his job, after all.)

And then there's the meta level! What my brain immediately latches onto when thinking about lesbian Bingqiu is the fact that Scum Villain is commentary on real tropes, and PIDW is a (mediocre!) fictional work within a fictional work. If Luo Binghe is a woman, the genre of PIDW automatically changes from male power fantasy to some iteration of a "female" power fantasy, because Luo Binghe would be breaking gendered stereotypes. I can see that go in two main different directions, which would each comment on different aspects of media tropes.

One, PIDW as a reverse harem novel for a female audience. That would imo make the main theme here the effect female power fantasies have on women, in particular queer women. Afaik, stories like that are often very romance-heavy and focus on the harem aspect more than anything. What does it do to you if the focal point of the female power fantasy is gaining the affection of hundreds of men? What does it do to you if you read this for the monsters and the protagonist and don't feel anything about men? Can a character like Luo Binghe live up to her full potential if she has to play the main role in romance plot after romance plot? Much to think about. (As a lesbian, I find reverse harem female power fantasies immensely alienating! I shake hands with Shen Qingqiu!) The front-and-centre blatant transmigration novel trope subversion is, I think, that Shen Yuan transmigrates into the villain and doesn't end up stealing the harem but the protagonist's heart. Which would be hilarious, seeing that - as you pointed out - it's Luo Binghe who defies gender norms! She'd immediately go from being pulled back into gendered expectations by her romance plots to being the dark-robed, imposing Demon Lord partner to her pretty, elegant Shizun. Move aside, Airplane, Please Don't Laugh is writing your novel now. (Alternatively, exploring what fulfilling a female power fantasy of overcoming sexism would do to its protagonist might also be interesting - is a Strong Female Character(tm) still allowed to be weak? I feel like there are fewer tropes to draw from with that, though, so I'm not sure where to go from here.)

Option number two: PIDW still caters to a primarily straight male audience. This is my personal go-to, bc I think this makes it easier to keep the... emotional stuntedness of the original PIDW world, if that makes sense. Main theme here: What does it do to you if your full-on badass stereotype-breaking female power fantasy with monsters and bloodshed and the Endless Abyss exists only for the male gaze, and the main character with her tragic backstory and her unfathomable powers is on the regular described with a lot of emphasis on her exorbitantly large, quivering bosom, which she ends up showing off to Personality-Less Reader Insert (a.k.a. husband) #2938? What does it do to you if you, a woman hate-reading bad webnovels, feel affected by these descriptions of Luo Binghe's quivering bosom in a sexual way? What does that make you? How much of a personality is a character allowed to have whose endless suffering and subsequent badassery at least partially happen to make her eye candy? How do you reconcile your love for this character (and the person you learn she is post-transmigration) with your attraction to her, the male gaze sex symbol? I feel like this is such a quintessential wlw experience, I go feral over this at least once a day.

And in both cases, Shang Qinghua's role works incredibly well! Because stories about complex women that emphasise character development and social commentary are the opposite of a money-grab, imo even more so than similar stories about men. Airplane would, again, have to bite the bullet and pander to her audience either by over-describing Luo Binghe's tits or [spins wheel of potential male harem members] Gongyi Xiao's abs. And there's the whole matter of the genre switch in the end of PIDW, which imo is incredibly interesting here - because PIDW would have to become a GL, probably targeted at a mainly female audience. A genre that sells notoriously badly. What kind of message would that send?

TL;DR: Lesbian Bingqiu offers so much potential for exploring different ways in which women and female characters are affected by media tropes and that's GOOD.

[bbangsoonie]

find me in your memory

member: sangyeon genre: angst word count: 10,200 synopsis: when you return to korea in hopes of recovering your lost memories, one of your new housemates seems oddly familiar. warning(s): inaccurate depiction of amnesia

Prologue:

You had locked yourself in a bathroom stall to run away from everyone’s obvious trying-not-to-stare glances. Your hand clenched around your phone as you stared at the top trending news article. Your father had officially announced his plans to advance his political career and alongside his name were the names of the rest of your family. Your mother, a renown actress. Your brother, a retired swimmer and a rising musician. And you, a rookie model who already walked in various fashion shows.

You were annoyed that your father chose today of all days to release the news. Today was White Day, meaning that boys were throwing you sweets left and right. You hated the extra attention and hated that you had to maintain elegance through it all. It was already bad enough that tonight was some fancy party your father arranged for the purpose of publicity and networking. You would be hiding under a mask all day and night now.

You sighed at the sound of the bell ringing to notify the students that lunch time was over. You dragged yourself out of the bathroom and braced yourself before you returned to your classroom.

People had already whispered about you in the hallways but your classroom erupted into full blown gossip. You heard guys discussing the news and girls expressing their jealousy.

“I guess the princess might actually become a princess now.” one girl said rather loudly. “Look at her. Pretending not to hear all of us. She must think we’re too lowly to even converse with.”

Her friend’s eyes widened at her bold outburst and tried to shush her.

“What? I’m not saying anything that isn’t true.” the girl freed herself from her friend’s grasp and blatantly stood in front of your desk. “Tell me, Y/n, am I wrong?”

You looked up to meet her eyes with a neutral expression. You wanted nothing more than to grab the opportunity to pick a fight with her. But you knew you would face repercussions with your parents so all you could do was force a small smile.

Before the girl could say something more, your homeroom teacher entered the room. Everyone quickly dispersed and found their seats.

“Y/n? Your father’s secretary is here to pick you up. You’ll be leaving school early today.” he said.

The statement prompted more hushed whispers as your classmates speculated the reason why you were being pulled out of class. Without a word, you grabbed your backpack and left. The secretary led you out of the building and into a black car.

You pulled out your phone and earbuds to accompany you for the ride. Closing your eyes, you rested your head on the window and increased the volume of your music. Your brother had sent you the guide for the song he was working on and asked for your opinion. You had grumpily agreed, slightly irked that he only contacted you for things like this.

You hated Younghoon for leaving you alone in this family. He was your father’s pride and joy when he was a national athlete. Granted, he was miserable his whole life pursuing swimming when all he wanted to do was sing. But still, you never expected him to suddenly retire and switch careers without confronting your parents. He simply packed up and left. Without a warning or explanation, he just moved out. By himself. Without you.

Now, all the burden of maintaining the family’s image was on you. You had been pushed into the modeling industry so your father could have a pretty face to marry off later on. However, with Younghoon leaving the sports scene, your father was furious that your entire family were all entertainers without higher aspirations. It was too late for you to learn a sport so now you were to get accepted into Seoul University’s business school. Your father insisted on having at least one socially respectable child.

Your brother spent the last couple of years cutting contact with the family. He refused to attend events or partake in promotional photoshoots. The only time you could ever see him was when he came to take the annual family portrait. That was the only duty he would now fulfill as the eldest son of the Kim family.

You hated him but you also couldn’t despise him. If your affection for him were to turn sour, you’d truly be alone in this world. Yet you were still upset every time your calls went to his voicemail and he replied with a text hours later to apologize. You knew he was busy making up for lost time but it still hurt that he was able to enjoy his freedom while you remained suffocated.

“Miss, we’ve arrived.” the secretary spoke.

You opened your eyes and saw that the car pulled up in front of a beauty salon. You sighed, realizing you would have to get your hair and makeup done. So you went, sitting in front of a mirror for hours as people hovered around you to make you presentable for the reporters that would welcome you with endless camera flashes. By the time they finished, you were given a white silky dress to wear. It was as if your parents wanted to send you off to get married right away.

Keeping your complaints to yourself, you got dressed and were rushed to the party. Your parents were already inside, meaning you had to face the cameras alone. Reporters shouted questions at you; the topics ranged from your outfit to your father’s political plans to your brother’s absence. Ignoring them all, you put on your capitalistic smile and posed. You then bid them goodbye and entered the venue.

It was packed with politicians and businessmen. You walked around, looking for the protagonist of this event. Your father had organized tonight under the guise of celebrating your mother’s upcoming film but the true celebration was the release of today’s news. He was here to garner support for his political campaign and he sure had a flamboyant way of doing it.

“My daughter!” you heard your mother’s voice call out.

You turned around and saw your mother beckoning you over. You put on another smile as you approached your parents. Your father pulled you in for a light hug and introduced you to the man in front of him.

“Y/n, this is Assemblyman Lee. We’ve grown quite close this past year. Assemblyman Lee, this is the daughter I’ve been bragging to you about. She’s even prettier in person, right?” he let out a hearty laugh.

You respectfully bowed and personally introduced yourself to the assemblyman.

“Yes, she is very beautiful indeed.” Assemblyman Lee agreed, joining his laughter. He then presented the tall male next to him. “This is my son, Juyeon. I believe he is the same age as you, Y/n.”

“He plays basketball and even modeled for Seoul Fashion Week.” your father mentioned. “Perhaps you’ve seen or heard of him before?”

“I think we may have passed by each other once or twice that day.” you smiled. To be honest, it was your first time meeting him.

“Assemblyman Lee and I get along like family and we were talking about becoming an actual family once you graduate college.” your father beamed.

Those words made your stomach drop. You knew you’d never get to choose your own partner but now that it was actually happening, you froze. Reality suddenly hit you like a truck. You were never going to have control over anything in your life. You were nothing but a pawn in your father’s journey to the Blue House.

You looked over at Juyeon who looked just as uncomfortable as you. This was the man who you were probably going to spend the rest of your life with and you had no idea what he was like. For all you knew, he could end up hating your guts. You felt panic taking over and excused yourself for an urgent visit to the bathroom.

Your vision was blurred as you quickly exited the ballroom and desperately searched for a private room. All you could think about was your brother.

Younghoon.

Younghoon.

Younghoon.

You needed him. His name was the only thing your brain could think of. You needed him to tell you that everything would be okay. That he would come save you. You knew it would be a lie but you needed to hear it anyway.

Once you found an unlocked storage room, your knees buckled and you fell to the floor. With trembling hands, you dialed your brother’s number and waited for him to pick up. You called him five times but only heard the line ring. Fighting back tears, you cursed him in your head.

You spent the next half hour trying to calm yourself down. Squatting down, you rocked back and forth with your hands covering your ears to block out the noise outside. Your hyperventilation was slowing and you weren’t struck by the fear of dying anymore. By the time you settled down, you felt numb.

With a solemn expression, you stepped out of the storage room. Avoiding the crowd, you wandered around until you found a back exit. Before you opened the door, however, you realized how much you’d stand out in your current attire. You called for the secretary and asked for one of your spare school uniforms. You changed into the blouse and skirt but left out the tie and jacket. Not having sneakers to change into, you kept your heels on.

You insisted that he return to the party and not follow you. You promised you’d be home by evening and shooed him away.

Now that you were finally free, you didn’t know where to go. School was already dismissed but the sun had yet to set. Without any plans, you just started walking. As you kept walking, you found yourself in front of your school.

You laughed in disbelief. Apparently this was the only place other than home that you knew. Finding yourself pathetic, you continued to walk up the path to the building.

The soccer team was still on the field practicing. You sat on a bench, watching them run and kick the ball around. You didn’t know a thing about the sport but found it oddly soothing to mindlessly stare.

After a while, you got tired of it and got up. You let your feet decide where to go next and ended up on the rooftop. The sky was now a golden color. You didn’t remember when you last saw such a view.

At that moment, your phone rang. It was Younghoon finally returning your missed calls. You stared at the screen, debating whether to pick up or not. By his second call, you decided to answer.

“Y/n! Is something wrong? Are you okay?” he asked as soon as you clicked “accept”.

You honestly didn’t know how to reply to his question. Looking back, you wondered if you had ever been “okay” in your life. Was this living or was this just enduring?

“I’m so sorry I missed your calls. I was at the recording studio.” he apologized. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” you lied. “I just missed you. A lot.”

You heard him let out a sigh of relief. Then his guilty voice.

“I miss you too.” he paused. “Listen, I’m extremely sorry for leaving you to deal with Father. I just… I couldn’t handle it anymore. I felt like I was gonna go insane. I could put up with everything but his demand to quit music. That was the last straw. It was the only bit of freedom I ever enjoyed and I couldn’t have that taken away from me as well.”

“But what about my freedom?” you wanted to ask.

“I know I’m a terrible brother. And an even worse son.” he admitted.

Not wanting him to feel sorry, you muttered a soft “whatever”.

“Once I finish recording this song, I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to sneak you out for a sibling date.” he said.

This was the seventh time he made this promise. Either he was always too busy or you could never escape the tight schedule set for you. But like the six other times before, you pretended to believe it.

The call ended soon after and you were left alone in silence. The tranquility on the roof contrasted the storm inside your head. You had spent your entire life striving to achieve your parents’ impossible standards. You were never enough. Never smart enough. Never pretty enough. Never social enough.

Everyone at school saw you as little miss perfect. It brought you both unwanted attention and hatred. People saw you as unapproachable and snobby. Some even expressed their disgust at how fake you seemed. At the same time, there were those who wanted to use you and your connections. There was always someone who wanted something from you.

You felt trapped.

The edge of the roof seemed to call and entice you. As if in a trance, you walked over to the wall and climbed on top of it. You sat on the ledge and took in a deep breath. You stared at the sight in front of you. Most of the soccer team had left school grounds by now. You only heard scattered voices here and there. It was probably the remaining students hollering at each other across the field.

The rest of the world seemed so peaceful. It felt like you were the only one unable to escape chaos. You swung your legs, enjoying the evening breeze. You didn’t want to ever leave this spot.

Your phone vibrated, notifying you of a new message.

“You’ll be meeting Juyeon this weekend. I expect it to go better than tonight.” it read.

Your grip on the device tightened. Without giving you a break, another message from your father arrived.

“Also, your exam scores came out. Your ranking dropped to fourth place. We’ll talk at home.”

You wanted to scream. You wanted to pull your hair out and cry. Instead, you stood up and glared at the phone in your hand. Your hand was now trembling because of how tightly you were holding it.

By now, emotions were beyond you. Feeling pity for yourself was nothing but a waste of time. It didn’t fix things and it surely didn’t make you feel any better. You were just tired of it all.

Allowing yourself one last angry outburst, you threw your phone down. You didn’t watch it fall from the roof and hit the ground. It instantly broke on contact. Unbeknownst to you, the fall startled a male student passing by.

“What the heck?” Sangyeon exclaimed out loud. He had stuck around after school to watch Sunwoo’s soccer practice. They were about to head out for dinner when he remembered that he left his wallet in his locker. He had sent his friend ahead first as he ran back inside to grab it.

He took a closer look at what almost hit his head and was puzzled to see a phone. Looking for the lunatic who nearly killed him, he lifted his head to see where it came from. After his eyes adjusted to the sunlight, he gasped when he saw you standing on the ledge of the rooftop. Getting a bad feeling, he found himself running up the steps. The whole time, “please don’t die” raced through his head.

By the time he made it up to the roof, he was sweaty and out of breath. He wanted to collapse in exhaustion but his eyes widened as you began to inch towards the edge. His body reacted before his mind and he ran to pull you off.

The sudden grip on your wrist spun you around and you fell in what felt like slow motion. You landed on the boy’s chest that was breathing hard. You could hear his heart pump like crazy and his eyes were still closed in fright.

Realizing what just happened, you quickly got off him and dusted yourself off.

“What was that for?” you asked in a hostile tone.

Finally catching his breath, he opened his eyes and jumped up. His eyes almost bulged when he recognized your face.

“Are you crazy?” he yelled, pretending not to know who you were.

“You’re the crazy one butting into other people’s business.” you frowned.

For someone who was about to jump off a building, you looked eerily calm. Sangyeon searched for any signs of distress in your eyes but could only spot annoyance. Still, his gut told him that something was wrong. The empty look on your face scared him.

“Well while we’re in the middle of crazy anyway, why don’t you tell me what pushed you this far?” he bravely inquired. “Bottling everything inside alone will only make things worse. It’s better to just spill everything to a complete stranger you won’t ever see again.”

It was out of character for him to be so nosy but he strangely felt a strong desire to help you. As for you, you normally would have walked away from this situation minutes ago. Yet you still stood in front of this odd boy who demanded to be your impromptu diary.

He intrigued you. He was knocking at the stone wall you put up years ago. He seemed so bright and innocent. It bothered you.

Despite your irritation, something about his eyes made yours water. The way his eyes softened as he looked at you made you feel vulnerable. It seemed as if he could read you like an open book. It brought a wave of emotions you had suppressed for so long.

He stepped closer and offered you a comforting pat on the shoulder. The second his hand made contact, your tears finally escaped and ran down your face. You hadn’t felt the warmth of another human since you last saw your brother. The sudden consolation broke you. Then, like the domino effect, your sobs turned into bawling as your facade crumbled at last.

Sangyeon was shocked to say the least. He never would have thought the Y/n would be crying in his arms. In fact, he never expected to ever cross paths with you. He had only ever heard of you through other students’ gossip. They painted you out to be cold-hearted but the sight in front of him said otherwise.

Hesitantly, he pulled you in for a hug. Recalling how his mom used to comfort him, he tried to soothe you by slowly patting your back. The two of you stayed like that until your cries eventually faded out. Embarrassment belatedly hit you and awkward silence hung in the air. You felt like you owed him an explanation but you couldn’t even pinpoint the exact reason for your actions.

“Thank you.” you muttered softly while sniffling.

Sangyeon smiled in response and rummaged through his pocket to find something. He pulled out a lollipop and handed it to you.

“Even being sad takes energy. You should recharge your blood sugar.” he said as he placed it in your own pocket when you didn’t move to accept it. “Let it all out from time to time. It’s not healthy to always keep negativity inside you.”

You dwelled on his words for a moment. No one had ever told you that before. Everyone was always telling you to tolerate things. You weren’t allowed to disagree with your parents. You had to accept and deal with Younghoon’s departure without expressing how upset you were. You were expected to quietly receive criticism and never retaliate. You figured it was only a matter of time before the pressure eventually set off the bomb inside you. Like today.

Up until now, you thought the only solution for the explosion would be to just end it all. It never occurred to you that you could begin to disobey everything you were taught.

“Thank you.” you repeated. With that, you got up to leave.

“W-Wait!” he called out, causing you to pause. “Where are you going?”

“To eat dinner. You said it takes energy to be sad, right?” you smiled.

Sangyeon didn’t expect to see you again the next day. Cramming last minute for a test, he opted to skip lunch and study at the library instead. After he settled down, he looked up to see across the table. He had to fight the urge to gape.

Feeling someone’s gaze on you, you lifted your head to see the boy in front of you. Recognizing his face, you quickly shut your book closed and got up to leave. He was left flabbergasted at your blatant avoidance of him.

Meanwhile, you were cursing in your head. You chastised yourself for not realizing that he also went to your school. Stupidly, you hadn’t made the connection the day before on the rooftop. Of course he was only there at that hour because he was a student there. Now you were extremely humiliated. And afraid that rumors would spread.

“Hey, wait up!” he called out as he chased after you, earning him a stern glare from the librarian. You didn’t listen and only quickened your pace.

Unfortunately for you, his long legs easily caught up with you. He gently grabbed your wrist to stop you from running away. You scowled when you realized he wouldn’t just ignore you.

“Why are you pretending that you don’t know me?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I don’t know who you are,” you deadpanned. Your words rendered him speechless and after a few seconds of silence, you turned around to leave.

“Well, my name is Sangyeon,” he persisted, pointing at his name tag.

He spent the next couple of weeks following you around. At first, you found him annoying. He reminded you of your lowest point in life. But slowly, he wormed his way into your heart and established a place for himself there.

He would greet you each morning with a cheeky smile and a carton of banana milk. To be honest, you didn’t even like banana milk. Yet, you found yourself looking forward to it every day.

Eventually, you two formed an unbreakable bond. He was your only friend and all your free time was spent with him. Every time you felt suffocated by your parents, you reached out to Sangyeon for comfort. You never disclosed anything to him but his presence alone cheered you up. He made you focus on him and forget about everything else. You should’ve known that it was inevitable for you to fall for him.

He was that upperclassman that all the younger female students fawned over. You hated to admit it but you were also among the many who thought he was charming. You felt a pang of jealousy whenever you saw other girls swoon over him as he passed by.

Gradually, your personality began to shift into becoming more lively. You were grateful to have him show you the little things in life. You grew to like yourself and the world a little more.

Present:

You stared at the house in front of you. Twelve years ago, you left this house and town to attend school in Seoul. Seven years ago, you left Korea to move to California. Now, you were back as an adult. It felt strange.

Feeling the winter breeze chill your bones, you shuddered at the cold temperature and hurried inside. You were surprised at how neat the place was; you assumed that someone had been sent to save you from the hassle of cleaning.

Trudging up the stairs, you struggled with your large suitcase. You found your old childhood bedroom and roughly unpacked. Having only less than twelve hours until your new housemates moved in, you felt rushed to get the house ready to meet them. You decided to just wash up and sleep tonight and wake up early in the morning to go grocery shopping.

So you slipped into unconsciousness and spent a relatively quiet night. It wasn’t until morning that you were awoken by a dream. It was the same dream that haunted you for the past seven years. Ever since the accident, the same recurring scene appeared to you in your sleep. To be honest, the exact events were fuzzy but it always left you with the same nostalgic and longing feelings. It bothered you how uneasy it made you feel.

You groaned, noting that your alarm clock hadn’t even rung yet. With a loud sigh, you got up and got dressed. With over a decade between your last visit and the present, you relied on the GPS to navigate your way around the unfamiliar neighborhood.

As you walked around the quiet streets, you took the time to enjoy the scenery. You came back to this town to escape the city life but appreciated that it wasn’t entirely in the middle of nowhere.

Luckily, there was a supermarket nearby. There, you picked out a bunch of ingredients you figured would be used often. You didn’t cook much but wanted to change that.

The trip took longer than expected and you picked up your speed to make it back home before your housemates arrived. You let out a breath of relief when you returned and saw that no one was stuck outside waiting. Humming to a song you didn’t remember the title of, your steps were light as you put away the groceries. When you finished, you took a proper look at the house and were displeased at how bare it was. You made a mental note to buy decorations later to fill your new place with signs of human habitation.

At that moment, the bell rang. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, you ran to the door. When you opened it, you were greeted by four males who seemed surprised at your appearance.

“Hello! Are you the tenants moving in today?” you asked.

“Yes, I believe we spoke with your… brother? On the phone,” one answered.

“It was probably my father’s secretary that you’ve been in contact with,” you said as you opened the door wider to let them inside. “Please, come in.”

They followed you into the house and dragged their luggage behind them. Once they were all inside, you extended your hand towards them.

“My name is Y/n and I will be the one living here with you all,” you introduced.

“My name is Jacob! I hope we get along well,” the one who first spoke grinned as he shook your hand.

You went down the line, greeting and shaking hands with Changmin and Jaehyun. By the time you got to the last person, however, your hand was left hanging. He stared at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher.

“I’m Sangyeon. Lee Sangyeon,” he finally said, taking your hand.

“Nice to meet you, Sangyeon,” you smiled.

You offered them a tour of the house and showed them their respective rooms. While they unpacked, you offered to order food. It was approaching noon and you still hadn’t eaten breakfast. They declined at first but gave in when you insisted on treating them.

By the time the food was delivered, the five of you gathered in the kitchen. You were pouring water for everyone and Jacob began to take out the bowls.

“Jajangmyun is fitting for today, right?” you commented on the Korean tradition of eating Chinese food on moving days.

After everyone was seated, you gestured for them to dig in and began eating. You let out a sigh of happiness at the taste you had missed in the United States. Korean food there just wasn’t the same as Korean food back at home.

“So, Y/n, how did you end up in this town?” Sangyeon asked. Something about his eyes felt intimate yet you still couldn’t pinpoint the reason why.

“I actually just arrived in Korea last night,” you chuckled. “I’ve been living abroad for a while.”

“Abroad? Really?” Jacob perked. “I used to live overseas as well! Toronto, to be exact.”

“I stayed in California for the most part,” you clarified.

“Oh really? California? Los Angeles?” Changmin asked in English. You giggled at his slight accent, finding it cute.

“Yes, I lived in L.A. for 7 years,” you said in English, laughing when Jaehyun’s eyes widened at your pronunciation.

While the four of you chatted, Sangyeon stayed quiet. He watched as Jaehyun asked you about life in America and Changmin told you about the time he visited New York City. He felt a twinge of jealousy when Jacob conversed with you in English.

“It’s definitely Y/n. It has to be. She looks exactly like her and has the same name. But why is she acting like she doesn’t know me? There’s no way she doesn’t remember me,” Sangyeon thought.

The next morning, you woke up early again due to jet lag. Throwing a robe over your pajamas, you headed downstairs to start making breakfast. You rummaged through the fridge, pondering on what to cook. Lost in your thoughts, you didn’t notice someone else enter the kitchen.

“Good morning,” he said, startling you.

With a slight jump, you turned around to see Sangyeon. Embarrassed, you cleared your throat and exchanged greetings with him. He spotted the gleam of a necklace hidden under your robe and furrowed his brows.

“That’s the necklace I got her. It’s Y/n for sure,” he thought.

Again, you felt his piercing gaze on you. Still unable to understand why he kept staring at you, you awkwardly turned back around. Sangyeon walked towards the kettle to make himself a cup of tea, still conscious of your presence. With that, he went back up to his room, leaving you alone once again.

Eyeing the bag of sliced bread, you decided to just settle for toast. After the simple meal, you went back to your room to get ready. It was the weekend and you planned on shopping for little trinkets to furnish the house with.

When you came back, you found your new cohabitants watching TV in the living room. You politely refused their help with the bags, setting them down on the table. You pulled out a few small photo frames and held them out to show them.

“Aren’t these adorable?” you beamed. “I was thinking of decorating the place with photos. You know, to add some warmth and humanity. Feel free to take a couple and add your own pictures.”

You placed a handful of the frames in front of them, encouraging them to take some. After excusing yourself for a second, you quickly ran up to your room to grab the printed photos on your desk. When you rejoined the group in the living room, you began to insert them into the picture frames.

“Is this from your high school entrance day?” Jaehyun asked, holding a photograph up.

“Yup,” you nodded. “To be honest, though, I don’t really remember much from high school.”

Changmin, finding a photo of you in front of the Hollywood sign, asked if it was taken during your college years.

“Ah, yes that’s when I first began my life in America. I was both anxious and eager to leave Korea behind,” you said, unaware of Sangyeon's wince at your words.

“Oh… Would it be okay for me to ask why?” Jacob asked.

“Of course. It’s all in the past,” you laughed. “I had some bad memories in Seoul and left abruptly at the end of my last year of high school. That was when I moved to L.A. to start anew.”

Sangyeon recalled the day you disappeared. He had texted you, asking to meet at the playground. After finding out about a misunderstanding you had, he wanted to resolve it as soon as possible. He waited there for hours but you never showed. You missed school for a week before your teacher suddenly announced that you would not be returning.

And that was the end of his friendship with you. You left without a warning or farewell. Now, you stood in front of him again. After seven years, he was reunited with you as an adult. He was both excited and confused. When he first saw you at the door, he wanted to blurt your name out and catch up on all the missed time. But when you introduced yourself to him as if it was your first meeting, he found himself doing the same.

At every encounter, you acted as if he was a stranger. At first, he thought you forgot about him and it hurt. But now, he supposed that you just wanted to forget about him. When you mentioned that you had bad memories of Seoul and that you were glad to start fresh in Los Angeles, he realized that he was nothing but a painful past to you.

So he put on a poker face and went along with your little act. For a month, he kept his distance from you and made sure to stay within the strict boundaries of a landlord and a tenant. While his friends grew close to you, he remained reserved.

“Why are you so cold to Y/n?” Changmin once asked him. Sangyeon never answered the question and continued to keep his facade up.

Meanwhile, you were clueless as to why Sangyeon was so standoffish. You had asked his friends, who were a lot more pleasant, if he was normally inhospitable to new people. At their unnatural attempts to change the subject, you figured it was just you that he disliked.

Still, Sangyeon couldn’t hide his innate desire to take care of you in his own ways. Every time your favorite snack ran low in the pantry, he would stack up on it next time he went to the mart. Knowing you hated the cold, he would make sure to keep the house temperature high—even when Jaehyun went to lower it, complaining that he was hot. When you fell asleep on the couch, he would cover you with the blanket you kicked to the floor.

The boy in front of you was extremely close as he reached behind your shoulders to put the necklace on for you. You held your breath and felt your heart race.

“There,” he grinned proudly. “How pretty.”

“Me or the necklace?” you asked, half joking and half serious. He shrugged, prompting you to playfully punch his arm.

“Now you’re forever indebted to me, Y/n. That’s a one of a kind necklace you can’t find anywhere else. Be honored I made it for you,” he declared. You rolled your eyes at his arrogance but still smiled nonetheless.

“Since I gave you this, you can’t ever forget me, okay?” he made you promise.

Your eyes opened, waking you up from your dream. Finding it odd how vivid it was, you frowned and sat up. You wondered if it was a part of your missing memory.

The view outside your window revealed a white wonderland, reminding you that the weather forecast predicted a snowstorm today. You groaned, remembering that today was also the day that you would be alone with Sangyeon. Jacob was on a business trip whereas Changmin and Jaehyun went to their hometowns to visit their parents.

“The snow just has to lock us inside this house today of all days,” you mumbled as you snuggled back into your blanket.

You closed your eyes, wanting to sleep a little more. After half an hour of trying to fall back asleep, you gave up with an exasperated sigh. You changed into a sweatshirt and went downstairs to make yourself some hot chocolate.

To your surprise, Sangyeon was already in the kitchen with a cup of hot chocolate. You both froze, not knowing how to interact without at least one of the other three guys.

“Here, you can have this one. I’ll make myself another one,” he finally spoke, handing you the cup topped with marshmallows.

You muttered a word of thanks as you wrapped your hands around the warm drink. Looking at the window, you saw that the snow was piling up a lot already. In an attempt to break through the walls Sangyeon had built around you, you mustered up the courage to ask if he wanted to watch a movie together. Taken aback, he nodded before he even fully processed your question.

That’s how the two of you ended up on the coach with a randomly chosen film playing on the TV screen. The movie was better than you thought it’d be. The subtle love line brought a comedic relief in such an action-packed plot. You enjoyed it until the main character ended up with amnesia; it made you uncomfortable as it reminded you of your own accident. Noticing that you weren’t focusing on the movie anymore, Sangyeon paused it and asked if you wanted to stop watching.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, you shook your head. He stared at you for a bit before turning it off. Although you were relieved, you felt bad because he seemed to be enjoying the film.

Trying to make up for it, you offered to make lunch. At his reluctance, you insisted since you both had to eat and delivery would take a long time. He followed you into the kitchen, watching as you surfed the internet for recipes.

You managed to keep the conversation flowing as you cooked. You asked about his job and he asked about your experience as a college student in another country. You were happy that he was finally opening up to you. By the end of the meal, you felt comfortable enough to share a little more about yourself.

“To be honest, I was very hesitant about coming back to Korea. When I left seven years ago, I left behind a lot,” you began.

“Yeah, you left me behind,” Sangyeon wanted to say. Instead, he kept his thoughts to himself.

“I mentioned before that I don’t remember much of my high school years. The only memories I have of back then are whatever my parents told me. Which isn’t much. They were always too busy to know what went on in my life,” you stated.

Trying to piece the information together, he carefully asked what you meant by that.

“I got into a car accident seven years ago,” you sheepishly revealed, making his eyes widen. “Apparently I was in a coma for about a week. When I woke up, I was told that I was suffering from amnesia. I was hospitalized for another few weeks to recover and then sent to California to be with my cousin, Eric. There, I went through physical therapy and attended university. I was hoping to leave behind my trauma in Korea.”

“O-Oh, I didn’t know you went through all that,” he stammered, embarrassed.

“I feel like there’s a part of my life that I’m missing and I hate it,” you confessed. “I get these dreams sometimes and I think it might be my missing memories but I’m not too sure.”

The two of you fell into silence. Sangyeon despised himself for not knowing what happened. He had been too busy pitying himself to stop and think from your perspective. He didn’t deserve to have you remember him. He figured it was best that you forgot him. There was no point in disclosing everything now anyway.

After that day, you thought you had gotten closer to Sangyeon. Contrary to your expectations, however, you grew even more distant. At first, you thought you were overthinking. But as the week went on, it became obvious that he was indeed avoiding you.

Eventually, Jacob confronted him about it. He trapped his best friend and demanded an explanation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sangyeon lied with a straight face. Sighing, Jacob let it go. He knew that he couldn’t force anything out of him.

Despite Sangyeon’s efforts to keep away from you, he still continued to quietly do little things for you. Luckily for him, you didn’t notice. You didn’t think twice about the pot of coffee that was always prepared every morning or your shoes that were neatly put away after you left them scattered at the entrance.

You didn’t know why you felt so disappointed. You didn’t realize that you had grown attached to him as time passed by. Something about him felt familiar and comfortable. Yet, at the same time, he felt like a challenge. He was aloof but occasionally had moments that showed his soft side. He intrigued you.

“Y/n, you can’t keep associating yourself with that boy. Imagine how shocked we were when we heard those rumors about you two dating! You know your father has plans for you and Juyeon,” your mother chided.

“It’s the 21st century! I am not getting into an arranged marriage. Especially not just for the sake of father’s political ambitions,” you yelled.

A slap was delivered to your face. The sound was loud and you felt your cheek throb in pain. Bewildered, you glared at the woman in front of you. Deeming your action as disrespectful, your mother slapped you once again.

“You don’t even deserve to be called a mother,” you spat.

With that, you stormed out of the house. The boy your mother demanded you to stay away from wasn’t even your boyfriend. You had hoped that he would be one day but that hope dissipated when you saw another girl in his arms earlier that day. Tears blinded your vision as you fumbled for your phone. You called Eric, praying that he would pick up despite the time difference. To your relief, he did and his voice caused you to sob.

“Y/n? Y/n, what’s wrong?” Eric asked, concerned.

You barely managed to tell him what was going on in between your cries. He tried to calm you down but it was futile. You weren’t listening. You were too busy running away. Too busy to notice the car that was speeding towards you.

You woke up gasping for air. Your heart was beating fast as you checked your surroundings. Once you realized that you were in your room and not on the streets, you relaxed.

“Was that just a dream? Or a flashback?” you murmured. You brushed it off, blaming your return to Korea for these weird dreams.

Eric was landing in Korea today and you were thrilled. You missed him greatly and couldn’t wait to see him again. You glanced at the clock to check the time. You had to leave soon to greet him at the airport. Quickly getting dressed, you hummed in excitement.

On your way down, you heard the doorbell ring. You cocked your head, wondering if one of the guys had invited a guest. You shouted out that you’d get the door and ran to open it.

“Surprise!” Eric yelled, holding a bouquet of flowers.

It took you a moment to process the scene in front of you. You blinked a few times before you squealed and jumped into his arms. He laughed, dropping the flowers to hold onto you. The noise brought your housemates downstairs with curiosity. You quickly introduced everyone to each other and pulled your cousin inside once they finished exchanging greetings.

“I thought your plane was landing in an hour!” you exclaimed.

“I told you the wrong time so I could come surprise you instead,” he winked.

You didn’t notice Eric staring Sangyeon down but Sangyeon definitely did. He tried to ignore it, assuming that your cousin just wasn’t happy with the fact that you were living with four males.

You spent the rest of the day catching up with Eric and exploring your neighborhood together. You showed him your favorite cafe and feasted on the waffles there. He filled you in on how his parents—your aunt and uncle—were doing. They drilled him to make sure he told you how much they missed you, making you giggle. As proof of his completed mission, he took a selfie with you to send to them.

“I miss them too,” you pouted. “I better video call them soon. It’s hard trying to match the time zone and their work schedule.”

“Or,” he dragged out the word expectantly. “You could just move back to L.A.”

“Eric, you know why I came back. And what it took for me to do so.”

“I know, I know. But I honestly don’t know how I feel about you trying to retrieve your memory. Maybe some things are better left forgotten?”

“For the past seven years, something in the corner of my brain has been irking me. I know I’m forgetting something important. I feel it.”

He sighed and put his hands up as a sign of defeat.

“Just remember that if you don’t find what you’re looking for or if you aren’t happy with what you find, you can always go back to join me in L.A.” he said softly.

It was a hard secret to keep from you for almost a decade. In exchange for calling off your arranged marriage, your parents made him promise to never tell you about what happened the day of the accident. You moving to Los Angeles was the solution your parents came up with to keep you away from that past.

Seeing Sangyeon at your house gave him a bad feeling. He didn’t know what he told you and was scared that it was only a matter of time before your memories returned after seeing him so often.

Before Eric left for Seoul, he pulled Sangyeon aside to give him a warning.

“I don’t know why you’re lingering around my cousin but I know who you are,” Eric glared. “I obviously don’t know the whole story of what happened back when you two were in high school but I don’t quite like you. If you’re simply here for a place to live, keep it that way. Don’t put anything in Y/n’s head. She doesn’t need to remember what you did to her.”

“What I did to her?” Sangyeon repeated, confused. “But I didn’t- wait, are you talking about-”

“You know what I’m talking about,” Eric interrupted. “You led her on and then hugged another girl right in front of her.”

“The girl she saw me with wasn’t my girlfriend. She suddenly came up to me and confessed. That hug was initiated by her and was one sided. I found out about that misunderstanding and was trying to clear it up the day she disappeared.”

“Does it matter anymore after all these years?” Eric sighed. “Listen, you have no idea what Y/n went through back then and what was sacrificed to let her live the way she wanted to.”

“If there’s something you want to tell me, don’t beat around the bush,” Sangyeon frowned. Eric let out an exasperated sigh, conflicted. He wasn’t sure if it was his place to reveal details to him but he felt that it was necessary.

“That day. Y/n’s parents found out about how you two had a thing. There were rumors going around and it reached their ears. I don’t know if Y/n ever told you but they already had a guy in mind for her. Some stupid politics shit. Obviously, she said that was ridiculous but what power does a teenager have over their parents? She was fighting so hard for you but it was all in vain. You broke her heart.”

Sangyeon’s face crumbled at his words. You had never told him about the struggles you had in your home but he should have caught on from the day he first met you.

“That accident took away her memory. For better or for worse. She forgot all about the guy her parents pushed her towards and she forgot about the pain you caused her. And to be quite frank, I want it to stay that way. She came back to Korea to recover her memories but she deserves peace and happiness. She doesn’t need any more dramatic twists in her life. If you still truly care for her, you would agree,” your cousin said before he left.

A figure stood in front of you. You couldn’t see the face but there was a sense of familiarity. It was the same boy from your previous dreams.

“How could you not remember me, Y/n?” he asked.

You wanted to hold his hand and try to recall who he was. You wanted to hug him and tell him that you didn’t intentionally forget him. But your body would not move according to your will.

You awoke to a pounding head and sore throat. Feeling your nose run, you reached out for a tissue. You moaned in pain, realizing you had a bodyache as well. You couldn’t bear to get up and pulled the blanket closer to your body to keep warm. Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to fall back asleep.

Downstairs, the guys were eating lunch together. Jaehyun looked at his watch and verbally noted that you still hadn’t woken up.

“Do you think we should wake her up to eat?” Changmin asked, to which Jacob shook his head, saying that they should leave you to rest.

“I wonder if she’s sick? I heard her coughing in the middle of the night when I got up to go to the bathroom,” Jaehyun said.

On the outside, Sangyeon pretended not to care. On the inside, however, he was extremely worried. You always got sick at least twice each winter. After quickly finishing his meal, he grabbed his coat and headed out to the pharmacy. He asked for any and every medicine to help with colds and kept the bag in his pocket when he came back.

He stopped in front of your door with his hand hovering mid-knock. He decided against knocking and left the bag of medicines hanging on your handle.

When evening came around, Jacob went up to your room with a bowl of porridge. Seeing the bag still on the door, he knocked and entered with it.

“So you are sick,” he commented when he saw your disheveled image.

“Jacob, you are an angel,” you gasped at the sight of the food.

“Actually, the medicine isn’t from me. I think that might have been Jaehyun. It was left on your door handle,” he said as he set the tray down on your desk.

You thanked him for the porridge and made a mental note to thank Jaehyun later. Too tired to do anything else, you took the medicine and fell into another deep sleep.

The next day, you felt better enough to get out of bed. Wrapping a blanket around your shoulders, you trudged downstairs. You saw Jaehyun in the kitchen pouring himself a cup of coffee and said good morning.

“Oh! I didn’t get the chance to tell you yesterday but thanks for the medicine,” you smiled.

“Huh? What medicine?” he tilted his head in confusion.

“You weren’t the one who left medicine for me outside my door?” you blinked. He shook his head and you assumed that it had been Changmin.

However, when you asked Changmin about it, he was clueless as well. It left you with only one other possibility and your heart skipped a beat at the thought. Wanting to express your gratitude, you went out and bought ingredients to make him some kimbap. You spent the rest of the morning working hard in the kitchen, persevering through multiple mistakes.

You groaned the third time the kimbap popped while you tried to roll it. You considered giving up for a brief moment but shook your head. With a determined sigh, you pulled out another sheet of dried seaweed and began your fourth attempt.

Finally, you managed to decently succeed. You grinned in triumph at your slightly deformed roll. After cleaning up the mess you made, you looked out the window to see Sangyeon reading in the yard with a beanie on and a scarf wrapped around his neck. Hoping to keep him warm, you poured a cup of hot coffee and walked towards him with the food nicely plated.

“Hey Sangyeon,” you said as you held out the plate. “I made you some kimbap for you to munch on as you read.”

“No thanks,” he said coldly. You blinked, not expecting such an answer.

“O-Oh… do you not like kimbap?” you awkwardly laughed. “Here, have some coffee then.”

“It’s okay. You don’t need to mind me,” he closed his book and stood up to leave. You frowned at his rudeness, ticked off.

“You could at least take the coffee if you don’t want the food,” you said, making him pause. “Or at the very least politely decline considering the effort I put in.”

“I never asked you to put in any effort towards me.”

You scoffed and put the cup and plate down to fold your arms. His harsh words were so different from his kind actions. It constantly felt like he was trying so hard to push you out and you didn’t understand why.

“Then what’s with the medicine you left for me yesterday?” you confronted him. He froze, not knowing how he got caught. He then noticed that you came outside with no outerwear, making him sigh. Trying to avoid an argument, he silently took his scarf off and put it on you before turning around to leave.

“What the hell, Lee Sangyeon?” you blurted. You placed yourself in front of him to stop him from leaving.

“What is with you? Literally one day you’re taking care of me behind my back and the next you’re avoiding me like the plague. Is this your tsundere concept or what?” you huffed.

You waited for him to say something back but he kept his lips pursed. Exasperated, you ripped the scarf off and stormed back inside.

Sangyeon cursed at himself in his mind. He could’ve handled that a lot better. Sighing, he bent down to pick up the scarf thrown on the ground. At a closer glance, he saw your necklace buried in the fabric. He held it up and stared at the jewelry in his palm. With a conflicted expression, his grip tightened around it, enclosing it in his fist.

You decided that you were over Sangyeon once and for all. You didn’t care how tired he came home looking every night or if was eating properly. You officially gave up on getting closer to him. If he wanted to push you away with his stupid tsundere ways, then that was his problem and not yours.

Grumbling, you climbed into bed to comfort yourself by watching Netflix. You very much rather preferred having your mind occupied with fictional characters than your own issues.

By the time evening rolled around, you grabbed your clothes and headed to the bathroom to shower. Your hands reached up to your neck to take your necklace off but were met with bare skin. Your eyes widened as you looked in the mirror, realizing that the necklace was gone.

You didn’t remember when or where you got it but you always had a feeling that it was important to you. You felt anxious without it.

You rushed to the kitchen to find it. Changmin was staring at you, perplexed, as you crawled across the floor to check every nook and cranny.

“Are you looking for something?” he asked.

“My necklace,” you tensed. “I can’t find it anywhere. Have you seen it here?”

He shook his head as he apologized, saying he hadn’t. Fretting, you checked the living room hoping it was hidden somewhere on the couch. When it still didn’t turn up, you ran outside to check the yard.

At that moment, Jacob and Sangyeon came down and saw Changmin looking out the window. Curious to see what he was watching, they followed his gaze to see you examining the grass.

“What’s Y/n doing?” Jacob asked.

“I think she lost her necklace,” Changmin answered as he took another bite of his apple. “It must be really important to her. She’s been searching for a while now.”

“I hope she finds it soon. It’s cold out at night,” Jacob said with a concerned look on his face.

Sangyeon stiffened, feeling the necklace in his pocket. He brushed it off, thinking you would give up soon. After pouring himself a cup of tea, he returned to his room. The sky rumbled, warning of incoming rain.

“I’m sure she’ll come back in now,” he mumbled.

Half an hour passed as Sangyeon continued reading his book. It was now pouring outside and the raindrops tapped violently against the windows. He reached out for his tea, only to notice be met with an empty cup. He placed the book down and went to the kitchen for a refill.

He was shocked to see you still in the yard, crouched down with a flashlight. Anger bubbled up inside him and he found himself grabbing an umbrella and joining you outside. Holding your wrist, he lifted you up to face him. The rain ceaselessly attacked the umbrella over your heads and his heart broke at the sight of you. You were drenched and your hair stuck to the sides of your face.

“Let go of me. I need to find something,” you freed yourself from his grasp and went back to shifting through the grass.

“It’s late and it’s raining. You can look for it later,” he said as he pulled you back up.

“No, I have to find it now,” you insisted.

“Y/n, you’re sick!” he exploded. “What’s more important than your health right now?”

“My necklace!” you yelled back. “I can’t remember who gave it to me but I know it was a gift. I can’t lose it. I just know that it’s from someone important. It’s the missing memory I came back to Korea to find!”

His chest clenched as your tears blended in with the rain. He never thought that the necklace would mean so much to you. Hesitantly, he pulled it out from his pocket and handed it to you.

“I’m the one who gave it to you, Y/n,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “Seven years ago, I was the one who made this necklace and gave it to you. This isn’t what I meant when I said that you were indebted to me.”

Puzzled, you stared at the chain hanging from your clasp. You were beyond confused. If you had known Sangyeon, why did he never act like it? Then, the pieces started to come together and his behavior started to make sense. Those eyes that seemed to recognize you from day one. The endless supply of the snacks you never expressed your love for in front of the guys. The dreams that you suddenly understood now.

“You knew who I was the entire time… and you didn’t say anything?” your voice cracked. “You knew I was out here looking for the necklace that you had and you still didn’t say anything?”

“I-”

“Forget it,” you cut him off. You shoved the umbrella away from you and slowly walked towards the house.

“Now you’re forever indebted to me, Y/n. That’s a one of a kind necklace you can’t find anywhere else. Be honored I made it for you.”

You winced at the sudden flashback.

“Y/n, you can’t keep associating yourself with that boy.”

You shook your head as if the memories would shake out of your mind.

“You don’t even deserve to be called a mother.”

You stumbled, causing you to flinch. Sangyeon ran to hold onto you and caught you just in time before your knees went weak. You felt your lungs tighten as the world spun around you and his voice became muffled. Then, everything went black.

“We gave her a fever reducer so her temperature should be coming down soon,” the doctor said as he looked through your patient chart. “She can be discharged once she wakes up and finishes the IV treatment. As long as she rests well at home, she’ll be okay.”

Sangyeon profusely thanked the doctor before he felt to continue his rounds. Sitting down next to you, he sighed. This wasn’t what he intended at all. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy. Back then and even now, his priority had always been you. Even if it meant giving up his own desires. Even if it meant giving you up.

It was taking longer than expected for you to awaken. Sangyeon began to worry but the nurses assured him that there was no problem. He restlessly paced around your bed, praying that you were okay.

When you finally came to, it took you a moment to register your surroundings. In what felt like a long sleep, all of your lost memories came flooding back. Still overwhelmed by the sudden anamnesis, you grasped for the only thing that brought you a sense of familiarity and comfort—Sangyeon’s hand.

“Don’t leave me,” you croaked.

“I won’t. I promise I won’t let you go again,” he whispered, holding your hand tighter.

[beevean]

Now my friend...come here, charge your weapon and give me your take on Zero 1 :P

Wait, let me level up my Saber until I learn my beloved Rolling Attack :P

Good game! But I hope the next games improve on a few things.

The controls are really good. Zero feels even lighter than in the X series, and walljumping is so fun. I also like that you can have up to two weapons, you can customize your Zero depending on your fighting style, and you level up weapons by using them. The weapons themselves are overall well balanced, maybe the Shield Boomerang is the one I found the least use for. I ended up using the Triple Rod a lot :P this is by far the best part of the game lol.

The plot is... kinda like X1 on steroids? I mean. The story ingame is rather barebones - Ciel finds Zero, asks him to do a bunch of things for the Resistance, sudden plot twist - but the lore is already deep and very, very edgy. X lost a bit of his sanity fighting Mavericks without Zero. Copy X is a well-intentioned extremist/dictator, which has some interesting implications regarding the personality of the real X, and it was made by a young girl who feels terribly guilty. A “retirement” camp for Reploids. I like it, but I expect the sequels to have more meat on their bones :P

(also it’s so obvious that inafune wanted copy x to be the real x but he couldn’t have it because capcom didn’t want to tarnish the image of the actual protagonist, so we got mystic x at the end. poor inafune, he can't give his golden child the preferential treatment he desperately wants to give him)

I appreciate that the Zero series started with a different formula, with a hub world and missions to choose. I like that you can even walk to the different areas to grind and find missing Cyber Elves! I don’t know if there’s an ideal order, I kinda did them in order of appearance lol. I appreciate the variety... in theory. In practice some of them were gimmicky in the wrong way, the best example being that stupid escort mission that is so boring and goes against the whole fluidity the game offers and permanently lowered my rank :( Also a handful of timed missions, which are stressful but I suppose it’s the natural evolution of the nature of the series.

And finally, the big criticism: this game is not just hard, it’s mean. If the X series encourages you to find powerups, the Zero series shames you for wanting to make things slightly easier for yourself - oh, and certain powerups require an annoying amount of grinding to get enough Crystals to “feed” (tbf, though, apparently ranking in Z1 isn’t as important as in the sequels aside from 100% completion). The bosses hit like a truck and are twice as fast, as early as the second boss in the game - some have actually understandable patterns, but good luck getting to that point before Game Overing (Angel X is probably the best example of this). Sometimes I even got the feeling that the devs took advantage of the GBA’s limited visibility, am I right bomb mission, disappearing block sequence and climbing tower with spikes that pop up out of nowhere? :^) Neo Arcadia in particular is borderline Castlevania 1 in its cheapness. Calm down :V

Graphically the game is pretty good for a 2002 GBA game, I especially like the heat effect in the desert. I’ll be honest, though, I’m having a hard time getting used to this moe style. Zero’s design as in his armor? I could accept that, although crimson looks better on him than black with red parts. Him looking like a round-eyed child? I’m sorry, I can’t connect him to the Zero I know lol. At least Ciel is an absolute cutie and i already lowkey ship her with zero <3

Musically... ngl the boss theme is the only one I remember on the top of my head, both for the right and the wrong reasons :V but there are other bangers, not as many as it’s custom for the series but still. The remix of Zero’s iconic theme is such a “HELL YEAH” moment - you’re replaying the famous scene where Zero saves the day, but this time you’re the badass <3 Infiltration is memorable simply for how much it doesn’t fit a typical “detonate all bombs” scenario, it’s much tenser and wants you to fill dread. Neo Arcadia’s theme is a much more typical “this is it, don’t hold anything back!” theme and it’s badass, and it’s a great example of how good the soundfont is.

(my biggest complaint is that the Base theme plays so much and it’s so repetitive that I can’t get it out of my head)

(but seriously that boss theme slaps)

So overall... it was a nice introduction to the series, but not much more. I don't know what else to say lol. It does feel a little like the Sonic 1 of the Zero series :P still, the good elements are really good and I can’t write off the entire experience.

Also

Ciel is a confirmed Shadow fan, best girl :P

[princess-of-the-corner]

okay so in khr the lore is that there are this other earth-native species of sentients that are older than humans and very long lived and also, crucially, have magic fire powers. the idea is, everyone has a soul. souls also have this energy to it, powered by Will. the other species can manifest this energy, which is reffered to as Dying Will Flames, or just flames, as magic fire- there's a spectrum of colors and attributes that can show up. by modern times literally only one is alive. so for most people this doesn't really effect their lives at all. why would it. but this other species actually could interbreed with humans, so for the maybe 1-3% of the population that has one as an ancestor, there's a chance that they might unlock these powers. as you might guess from the name, dying will, the usual way to unlock it is to truly believe that you are in mortal danger, and to not want to die. to reject death, with your dying will. the sheer force of willpower will activate your flames, whatever type you have.

due to a guy in the italian feudal period unlocking his flames and making a vigilante group that ended up becoming organized crime, these powers are now an organized crime thing, especially in the italian mafia. the mob keeps their magic powers secret from 'civillians' on pain of terrible consequences. any kind of snitch is frowned upon like in regular organized crime but if you specifically try to expose the magic fire horrible eldrtich abominations will be sent after you.

the plot is this random clumsy japanese teenager finds out his great×10 or so grandpa was this historical italian guy who moved to japan after retired from the mafia, even though timeline wise this had to have been when japan was completely closed off so like what? how was he allowed in? but we are IGNORING that anyway. and he's the only eligable living heir to the most powerful mafia family in the world. he finds this out because a hitman shows up to tutor him in being a mafia boss. he does not want to do this. unfortunately for him over the course of the series his found family ends up dragging him into it anyway. the hitman looks like a baby because he is under a curse. there are so many shenanigans and dads i want to beat up.

to be clear we dont know most of the stuff about the not-aliens at the start of the series this kid just gets a hitman on his doorstep who shoots him with a magic bullet that turns his flames on. it started out as a gag manga the plot formed later. theres time travel also. i just think youd like it even if you dont add it to the crossover. the flames come in a rainbow of colors- storm flames are red and their property is disintegration, sun flames are yellow and theirs is activation, lightning flames are green and involve hardening/reinforcement (and also have electric properties), rain flames are blue and their property is tranquility (and also have water properties), mist flames are indigo and do construction/illusion, cloud flames are violet and multiply. all the flames also have literal fire properties and general enhancement. orange is sky and the rarest and what the protagonist has, and it's property is harmony. what this actually does is a little hand-wavy, skies can do all sorts of shit. canonically harmony allows you to meld two different flame types together- later in the series at one point the protag combines sky and shiny!sky (earth) to make oath flames, and one of the antagonists-turned-allies has 'wrath flames' which is implied to be a combo of storm and sky. in fanon harmony also allows you to 'harmonize' with other flame types, giving you magical friendship bonds. to what extent and how this works is up to the author, of course. which flame you might activate if you can mostly has to do with a mixture of heritage and your personality- storms tend to be agressive, lightnings impulsive, etc. skies don't necessarily have a particular attitude but it's generally accepted that they're leaders, which is why all the dons in the series are usually skies. you can have more than one flame type but it's probaby like one in ten you know. another aspect of it is that skies are expected to kind of... collect one of each of the other flame types as 'guardians' to fight with them, which is part of where the harmonization fanon comes from, though some authors have it be that a sky can have more than one per. as a treat.

anyway sorry if this is long and kind of rambly i just really love khr. one of my favorite things to do when i get into a new series is to be like 'okay what are their flame types tho' and speculate about that. funnily enough since there are 7 flame types it kind of lines up pretty well in most parts with the main seven miraculous powers- mist fox, lightning turtle, rain bee, storm cat, sun ladybug, sky butterfly. cloud peacock is a liiittle more of a stretch than the others but it still works. marinette is totally a sky tho.

Honestly sounds dope I'll add it to the list of things to check out.

[thevindicativevordan]

My Superfamily Set-Up

By and large I’m fairly happy with the upcoming Infinite Frontier status quo for the Superfamily. Granted that’s in part because I’m still convinced Kara will get an ongoing or mini in 2021, probably to coincide with her show returning, and PKJ hinted at plans for Steel on Twitter. But Kon has escaped the Titans dumpsterfire for a little while, and I’ve heard good things about Thompson as a writer as well. Kenan is popping back up in a one shot written by Yang that will hopefully herald more appearances in Batman/Superman. Jon is still co-protagonist with Clark in the main books, Tanya is in the Future State Shazam book and also a candidate for the FS Justice League book, so hopefully she’ll be in Titans Academy, and Lois is poised to be a big player in the upcoming Checkmate mini by Bendis. So fingers crossed, all the core members of the Superfamily will be in stuff come end of 2021.

Now that said, were DC to suddenly realize that I alone can save Superman, and asked me what kind of status quo I would like (whether for a mainline or Elseworld book makes no difference to me), this is the basic set up that I would go with:

Superman - I’d do a traditional status quo. Superman is disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter, married to Lois Lane, etc. I’d have Ma and Pa go back to being dead since I still am not a fan of them being alive. Note that this isn’t a reaction against Bendis, I loved Bendis’ run, but I do want to play with the traditional status quo a little bit before diving into something different. Especially since so many Superman writers have traditionally completely wasted the potential of Superman’s status quo.

Lois Lane - Similar to Superman I’d go with a more traditional status quo at the start. She works at the Daily Planet, she and Clark are married, she’s the best reporter in town, etc. I would eventually have her take over as editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet from Perry, I thought that was a great idea the New 52 wasted, and I love the idea of her and Cat Grant being rivals with the Daily Planet and Catco competing. 

Jon Kent - I’d restore kid Jon and toss him back to the Super Sons, not because I think what’s been done with him has been bad, but mostly because I don’t want to write him as Superman, I want to write Clark. Jon seems to be being set up to be co-Superman, and I just don’t have any interest in writing that. To restore kid Jon without destroying Bendis’ run which I enjoyed, I’d explain that teen Jon is actually the “evil” Jon we saw from the Super Sons of Tomorrow future. He went back in time and rescued his kid self from Earth 3, and explained to him that he wanted to prevent that future from coming to pass, but that he needed to take his younger self’s place to do so. Kid Jon agreed, after all he was terrified of becoming evil in both Tomasi’s Super Sons of Tomorrow and Bendis The Man of Steel, and has basically been in hiding watching the events and also studying Hypertime so he can learn how to avoid ending up evil. 

Clark and Lois would blow up at the Jons for the lie when Teen Jon judges he’s changed things enough for his kid self to return, but both Jons could point out that both Clark and Lois have kept secrets when they deemed it necessary from each other and Jon. That would be a neat conversation to have, and a way to continue the untraditional family dynamic that Bendis set up. You could keep teen Jon as a time anomaly until Hypertime catches up with him and restores him to his timeline, with him continuing to be Superman as penance, while kid Jon goes and pals around with Damian in Williamson’s Robin or whatever.

Superwoman/Kara Zor-El - I like the idea of Kara “graduating” to the Superwoman name. It’s open right now given Lana’s retirement, and I think it would suit Kara. I would keep Kara in National, it’s her own little corner to play in, but I would keep that development from (I believe it was) Andrea Shea, where Kara gets fired from Catco because she’s a terrible intern due to always running off to be a heroine. She and Kal talk, Kara admits she doesn’t really want to be a journalist, and so she goes and interns at STAR Labs. I hate how DC keeps turning all the members of the Superfamily into Clark clones. It’s goddamn stupid and I want them to please STOP. Why the hell would Kara want to go into journalism anyway? We’ve never even seen a damn journalist on Krypton! It’s a stupid thing they did on the TV show because they wanted to swipe Clark’s stuff. Let Kara be the scientist of the Els, the one who carries on the family tradition. What form that takes is something I’m open too, I liked Venditti making her interested in history in his annual, maybe make Kara an anthropologist? That would be hilarious. 

Also give Lena to Supergirl, they can be best friends, enemies, lovers, I don’t care. But Lena is wasting away in a vault under Lexcorp last we saw, and that’s a damn shame considering how popular CW Lena is. I’d also add Natasha Irons (who I’d rename Mastersmith) and Tanya Spears (Powerhouse) to Supergirl’s supporting cast, they could play off each other as three supergenuis women).

Kon-El/Conner Kent/Scion - I’m really excited to see what Thompson is going to do with Kon on the Suicide Squad, but here’s what I would do with him. Kon would finally be able to shake off the Superboy moniker and leave that to Jon. Instead he’d take the name “Scion” as a reflection of his origins, and a tie-in to his new status quo. In the wake of Death Metal, Lex Luthor would abruptly step down as head of Lexcorp, stating that he needs time to redefine himself in the wake of his latest attempt to justify himself as the true hero by serving Perpetua, ending up with him needing Superman to save the day again. While he is away, he’s turned over complete control of Lexcorp to his sole heir: Conner. Conner is now head of one of the evilest megacorps in existence, and is one of the wealthiest men alive. Conner knows this is just another maneuver by Lex in his neverending crusade against Superman, but he’s determined to not just be another pawn. He accepts control, renames Lexcorp Superman, Inc. His mission will be to transform the megacorp into the force for good it pretends to be. Conner will have to take on not only Lex loyalists and traitorous underlings who would love to be CEO themselves within Lexcorp, but new megacorps who have flocked to Metropolis in hope of establishing themselves, now that the former Master of Metropolis has abdicated his throne. Threats within and threats without, but armed with the powers/morals of Superman and the charm/brains of Lex Luthor, Kon is just cocky enough to think he can handle it.

John Henry Irons/Steel - It will be a big year for John Henry Irons. His private company Steelworks is about to go public and make him a billionaire. Lana Lang has accepted his marriage proposal and they’re due to be wed. His niece Natasha has left the nest and is off working at STAR Labs. Irons is posed to finally resurrect the decrepit Suicide Slum and allow it to catch up to the rest of the City of Tomorrow. However there are problems: new megacorps are moving into the city in the wake of Lex Luthor leaving, people are disappearing from Suicide Slum with dark rumors are spreading about the reasons why, and the people of Suicide Slum are accusing Irons of planning to gentrify the borough. Making matters worse, weapons that Irons designed as a young man are appearing on the streets of Metropolis, attracting negative attention from the media and putting Steelworks at risk. Irons is going to have to suit up and take up the fight all over Metropolis, from the darkest levels of the Undercity, to the bright deceptive board rooms at the top of skyscrapers in the city’s heart. Irons will have to reckon with his past to secure his future, and confront the evil Metropolis would rather pretend doesn’t exist.

Kenan Kong/New Super-Man - Look just give Yang a damn Kenan book and let him go wild. Right now is either the best or worst time to give Kenan a book given the situation with Hong Kong, but if anyone is equipped to deal with it, it’s Yang. I’ll just add that I would love to see Kenan on a Global Guardians team, but I’d also love to see Justice League of China as a spinoff book of the main Justice League. Kenan is as close as DC has come to their own Spider-Man/Invincible take on Superman, Jon sadly hasn’t really differentiated himself from his dad while Kenan is VERY different. I would love to see Kenan pushed more and would buy a new book in a heartbeat. Also put out a damn New Super-Man omnibus Jim Lee, for God’s sake can’t you abuse your power to push the character you wanted created and is actually good unlike most of Wildstorm? You’re shoving Grifter back into everything but not Kenan? Christ.

So yeah that’s the Superfamily status quo I’d establish. Keeping my Clark and Lois ideas close to my chest for now, but I might go into more detail later.

[beyond-the-mirror]

Music of the Night (V x Reader)

Chapter 7 is finally here! As I have mentioned a couple posts ago I am going to focus solely on this story for the time being. I will try my best to update at least once per week so stay tuned.

Warnings: A little angst in a few parts.

Tagging: @thedyingmoon​ @minteyeddemon​ @vampiregirl1797​

If you wish to be tagged in this story let me know in the comments.

………………….

Chapter 7: Nightingale in the Cage

“So Bishop, would you mind explaining to us the reason you decided to become a patron for the Opera house?”

“Oh not at all.” Sanctus took a deep breath before speaking again. “As you may have heard in the local news, an estranged brother of mine passed away some time ago, may his soul rest in peace. Days later I received a visit from his lawyer, apparently he had accumulated quite the fortune and his testament determined that I would be the sole heir of all his possessions and shares.” The Bishop made a brief pause, the death of his brother still weighing down his heart. “I actually have no need for such a large sum of money, which is why I only kept a modest enough amount for me and decided to donate the rest in favor of the conservation of the arts.”

“A rather noble cause indeed Bishop, our sincerest apologies for your loss.” Monsieur Andre added.

“Thank you for your condolences. All my life I’ve considered myself to be an admirer of the fine arts. There’s nothing I wouldn’t love more than to finance Fortuna’s famous Opera House and support the careers of its many skilled artists.”

“And we shall be forever grateful for your patronage bishop.” Monsieur Firmin mentioned before lifting his champagne glass. “Let’s have a toast for the future of Fortuna’s Opera House.”

“For the future of this new society.” Raoul finished before the men raised their glasses together in glee. The vicomte, however, seemed to have a sense of sadness in his eyes that he hid all too well from everybody. How he wished to spend more time with you, but didn’t find you at the party.

Maybe you were too exhausted to attend and went home instead? Whatever it was, he wished you were okay.

………………….

‘The newest play from Fortuna’s Theatre Company, Hannibal, has been critically acclaimed by specialized press, scoring an impressive average of 4.6 out of 5 stars’

‘The exquisite acting and choreography are to be praised. However, its most prominent figure is the miraculous voice of the main singer, who has replaced iconic soprano Carlotta Guidicelli as the protagonist.’

‘Step down Carlotta! A new queen has arrived and the spotlight is all hers!’

‘In a shocking turn of events, Signora Carlotta Guidicelli, believed to be the company's successor to legendary soprano Kyrie Eleison, has been overshadowed by a new rising talent. A humble fortunian songstress by the name of (Y/N) (Y/L/N).’

‘(Y/N) (Y/L/N). The break-through songstress that has captivated the audience’s hearts. Is this the birth of a brand new star?’

Reviews, articles and blog posts about the company’s new soprano spread around the internet like wildfire, every single one focusing on the same subject: The mysterious soprano that took Fortuna by surprise and dethroned 'La Carlota’ herself.

The girl had become the theatre’s own Venus and Aphrodite, a muse that inspired all the souls touched by her melodious voice. A nightingale turned human, an angel descended to Earth.

But as her performances continued and her fame grew, a few observant enough would take notice of certain… details regarding her.

The truth behind this? A sinister shadow was tormenting the theatre’s beloved angel, one that threatened to consume not only her, but everything around.

………………….

“I refuse to accept this!” Carlotta stomped her heel on the marbled floor of her lavish bedroom, taking a sip from the almost full glass of wine in her hand.

Ever since that fiasco when she stormed out of the theatre during the rehearsals for ‘Hannibal’, the soprano’s life seemingly started turning for the worse, all because of that girl that once dared to collide with her during rehearsal. She had insisted the dancer had done so on purpose, envious of her great talent.

And now it turns out that dancer is the same one that took her role as the main protagonist! Carlotta felt offended by such a decision, she was a professional while that girl was just a simple amateur

Still, she had to admit this (Y/N) had a gifted voice. What she could not explain is how she managed to perfect her skill to such a high level if she claimed to be an inexperienced singer? As talented as one could be, it takes years of work and practice to master one’s craft, the only explanation she could come up with was that the girl had to have a special tutor, and an exceptional one at that.

But who?

Realizing her glass was already empty, Carlotta hurried to refill it again. She had believed that with Kyrie gone to Broadway, she now had the stage clear for herself to finally shine above everyone else, after all, the only voice above Signora Carlotta could only be that of Fortuna’s legendary songstress herself.

Such hopes were now broken. She had a new competitor, one that was already stealing the spotlights.

As she turned to the broadcast of the company’s most recent play, she huffed when the camera focused on the new main singer. The audience had fallen right into her trap, and now she had them all wrapped around her lithe finger.

“I don’t know what they see in her, she’s nothing special and she’s not that pretty. Especially with those dark circles under her eyes, does she even sleep? Careful girl, you are already losing your youth.” Carlotta snorted before downing her glass of wine.

………………….

“Vicomte Raoul! Bishop Sanctus! We weren’t quite expecting your visit to our Opera House. What can we do for you, gentlemen?”

Messieurs Andre and Firmin almost tripped over their own feet as they hurried to attend the Opera House’s important benefactors. Raoul managed to hide his laughter at their eagerness, while Sanctus simply offered the two a gentle smile.

“Do not worry for us, messieurs. This fine theatre holds so many precious memories of my youth, so I thought it appropriate to drop by and watch the rehearsals take place if you don’t mind us.”

“Oh, not at all Bishop! This way please.”

As the four men approached the hall, a melodious voice resonated through the walls.

“Ah! You are in luck. Our lead singer seems to be on stage right now practicing one of her numbers.” Firmin noted just as he opened the door to the main hall.

Madame Trish was supervising as usual, you stood at the stage performing an aria while Monsieur Reyer directed your voice through the song’s notes. As he took a seat near the stage next to Sanctus, Raoul was mesmerized by your singing figure, the passion and dedication you imprinted on your work palpable and strong enough to touch the hearts of others.

“An utter beauty, isn’t she?” The elder’s voice snapped him out of his trance. As he turned to face Sanctus, he noticed the soft smile and knowing look in his eyes. He gulped, were his feelings that obvious? Then again, Sanctus has seen and learned a lot during the many years of his long life, wisdom comes with age after all.

“Ah! Young love! Perhaps the purest and most innocent of them all.” The bishop gave a hearty chuckle. “Miss (Y/N) is definitely special. Her voice alone holds so much power, enough to make the entire audience bow to her, and yet she still remains humble and authentic.”

Raoul turned his attention back to the stage where you were now conversing with Trish and Reyer about your routine during the number. The vicomte could see what Sanctus meant, you weren’t arrogant or prideful like Carlotta, but rather attentive and open to the feedback and mentoring offered to you.

A smile grazed his lips. He had just met you and already you were taking over his heart and mind.

Still as he observed you going through the song one more time, there was something off that caught his eye. It was subtle, almost imperceptible, but it was there. The heave of your chest whenever you ended a verse, the slight trembles of your feet whenever they moved along the lines marked on the stage by Trish. 

You looked… tired? Exhausted, perhaps? No... more like detached.

But you continued the rehearsal with no trouble. Maybe your sudden growing popularity was already taking its toll on you, as well as all the performances you had to do at the theatre. For anyone without experience, such exhaustion is understandable.

In the seat next to him, Bishop Sanctus was also studying you. However, his expression seemed more preoccupied than that of the vicomte. He too had noticed some kind of dark aura looming around you, and he pondered what this could mean for the Opera House’s future, and for his plans too.

………………….

petite.aerette  I can’t believe I finally got to watch #Hannibal. So happy to know the Opera House is on the rise once again. #FortunaOperaHouse #theatre #musical

alya_hyacinth  You saw it live? Girl, I’m jealous!

dramaqueen101  Aaah I was there too! I wish you told me you were going, we could have gone together and have our seats next to each other.

petite.aerette  Sorry! Mom surprised me with our tickets that same morning. Did you see that new singer everyone is talking about? She is awesome! I already love her voice and acting!

dramaqueen101  I know right?! In fact I caught a glimpse of her after the play when she retired to her dressing room. I wanted to go talk to her but it was too crowded and she seemed to be in a rush. However I noticed she looked a bit tired? As if she hadn’t been getting enough sleep.

………………….

Free time had become a luxury for Nico. There was always something to fix, something to supervise, something to check. Whatever breaks she would get, she welcomed them with open arms and relaxed as much as she could before it was back to work again.

It was in one of these breaks when she ran into you, what better way to enjoy some free time than with a dear friend?

But as she approached your figure, Nico took notice of your appearance. Your skin was now as pale as a ghost, your eyes were heavy with sleepiness and dark circles framing them. You looked as if you were about to collapse at any given moment.

“Hey, you alright sugarcube?” Nico’s hands went to your arms by instinct, just in case you were feeling sick and you needed to be rushed to the infirmary. But with a small smile, you tried to ease her worries.

“Couldn’t get much sleep last night, that’s all.”

“Uh huh…” Nico was many things, highly perceptive was one of those. Many have found out the hard way that she was not an easy one to fool. Of course, it was no surprise that she could see right through your words. “Come. Let’s get you some warm tea.”

Stern and maybe a bit harsh, but caring when the situation called for it. That was Nicoletta Goldstein for you. One of the most surprising things about her is that she made the best tea in the world according to the people working at the theatre. 

“This should ease you a bit, honey. Careful, it’s still hot.” As she handed you the small cup, she looked at you with worry in her eyes but didn’t say anything. Instead she waited for you to open up and tell her what was wrong.

You could already picture the almost dead look you must have had. With slightly shaky hands you held onto the porcelain cup, raising it to your lips and gently blowing the steam to cool it down a bit. As a warm earthy flavor filled your taste buds, your body could finally ease up and relax even if just for a little while, granting you a moment of much needed peace.

Still, you didn’t find it in yourself to tell her.

Luckily for you, Nico knew better than to keep insisting. She figured that whatever was worrying you, you weren’t ready to talk about it yet. Nonetheless, she stayed right by your side in a comfortable silence with a cup of tea of her own.

It was a nice and peaceful moment, at least until she was called to check on one of the moving stage props.

And so she excused herself, but not before reminding you that you could always count on her for anything.

What Nico didn’t know, however, was the reason for your silence.

You didn’t tell her because something was forcing you to. 

………………….

Days became weeks. Weeks became months. And soon enough, time itself began to blur.

Ever since that night at his sanctuary, everything felt… off.

You had woken up in your bed, feeling dazed and lightheaded, perhaps the effects of the turmoil from the previous night.

V. The first thing on your mind as soon as you recovered your consciousness was him.

You wanted, no, needed to find him and get some answers. Why did he disappear so many years ago? Why was he hiding his true identity from you?

… What were those black markings scarring his face?

There was just one problem, you didn’t know where exactly was his sanctuary located. The secret passage behind the mirror in your dressing room came to mind, but in order to navigate the underground canals you needed a boat, not to mention that it was easy to get lost in there. Maybe you could ask the authorities for help, but how could you explain your story and make them believe you?

You made your decision on the way to the Opera House. You would start by telling Nico for the moment, you trusted her enough and she often gave the best advice on any matter.

But the moment you spotted her in the distance and tried to approach her, something strange happened.

An unseen force lodged itself in your chest, holding your voice and your heart in a vice grip that burned through your entire body. All the air in your lungs escaped you, and the feeling of daze you felt that morning returned in full force. You tried to scream, call for help, but no sound would come out of your lips. All words died as soon as they left your vocal chords.

You watched Nico leaving after someone required her assistance, and as soon as she disappeared from your line of sight, the pain stopped. As sudden as it had arrived.

You remained frozen in your place, goosebumps raised on your flesh. The moment some sensation came back to your legs, you ran away.

The day continued with relative normalcy, but your mind remained perturbed. And hours later, just as all the scheduled performances had ended for the day, you headed for your dressing room.

Once inside, the mirror opened, and everything went black.

When you opened your eyes, it was already morning the next day. Once again you woke in your bed, feeling as dazed and lightheaded as the day before. But the feeling didn’t go away, and with everyday that passed, it only became worse.

Strangely enough, your performances never faltered once despite the unknown illness weighing you down, almost as if you were doing everything automatically, like a machine following its program. You were thankful for this apparent ability to keep it together, but soon you started feeling detached. It reached a point when you could no longer feel your own body, or the melodic notes leaving your lips. You were no longer living, but rather watching your life unfold itself without any input of your own.

Many times you made an attempt to tell someone, anyone, about this; but you found that every single time you were about to do so, that terrible pain would return until you desisted. Soon, you were conditioned to stay quiet.

One day Nico began noticing your predicament, but by then that obscure force had you under its control already. She was right there, concerned and willing to help. And yet you didn’t dare to speak up.

Panic often filled your mind, hopelessness flooded your soul. You prayed and prayed for this nightmare to stop.

After another successful performance, the last one for the day, you found yourself inside the main dressing room as usual.

And as usual, the mirror opened, letting out the hidden darkness that haunted the Opera House behind everyone’s backs.

………………….

Poor unfortunate Joseph Buquet. 

Ever since that incident with the falling curtain, Nico had him double checking pretty much everything. Every rope, pulley and mechanism had to be meticulously examined in order to prevent another incident like that from happening again. Now he understood why it was such an important and critical matter, the least he wanted was for anybody to be harmed due to a malfunction after all, but his own anxiety over making a mistake and causing another accident was already getting him. The poor man would triple- no, cuadruple check every single detail in an almost paranoid way. Not a single nook or cranny would be left unattended by this dedicated worker.

So it was no surprise that today was especially bad for the nervous Mr. Buquet, for his trusty utility belt had been misplaced, making him search the whole building for his precious tools.

Only after finding his utility belt did Buquet allow himself to feel relieved, a heavy burden lifting off his tired shoulders. He was making his way back to the fly floor when the sound of hurried steps nearby reached his ears, as he turned at a corner he caught a glimpse of you closing the door to your dressing room shut. Noticing the way you entered the room in such a haste, he worried something might have happened to you. Maybe you were feeling sick and needed to rest? These days you had been looking paler than usual, and the man had to admit that seeing you in your current lamentable state tugged at his heartstrings.

Walking to your door, Buquet politely knocked at the wooden surface “Miss (Y/N), is everything alright?” But no answer came back.

He knocked again, this time a bit louder. “Miss (Y/N), are you there?” Again, no answer.

Now he was getting genuinely concerned. He even pressed his ear to the door in an attempt to hear whatever was happening inside, but he found only silence.

“Miss (Y/N) I’m opening the door right now!” Buquet immediately took hold of the knob and slowly cracked it open, merely peeking inside just in case you needed some privacy after all.

The sight that greeted him sent chills to his very bones.

A tall shadowy figure towered at the back of the room, its arms wrapped around your unconscious body in a seemingly possessive manner. Like a ghost, it moved towards the mirror and disappeared with you in its arms.

Buquet stood frozen as his mind tried to process what just happened before him.

He had heard the stories, rumors about an entity that haunted the Opera House. Some workers would mention seeing shadows through the corners of their eyes, others would claim that low growling noises could be heard at the hallways when they were empty enough, and a few would tell how they found strange iridescent blue feathers in the most bizarre locations inside the premises.

His mind pictured the heavy curtain that mysteriously fell on Carlotta. Then, the strange Box Four that always remained unoccupied despite the concierge’s claims about hearing a voice coming from inside.

They called it different names. A poltergeist, a monster, a demon… a Phantom…

But this time they hadn’t moved a prop or taken a simple object with them.

This time, they had taken a person.

………………….

Locked inside one of the restrooms designated for the staff, Mr. Buquet did his best to calm himself down. He had just witnessed the kidnapping of a promising young woman by the hands of an… an entity.

His hands flew to his hair in panic. What could he do? Nobody would believe a phantom had spirited away the company’s Prima Donna!

He… he had to have been hallucinating! Yes, that had to be it. For years the staff has accused the Phantom for all the minor inconveniences that often sabotaged rehearsals and productions, but this was an entirely different story, a songstress was just kidnapped for Lord Sparda’s sake! Urban legends or not, the supposed Phantom had never gone to these extremes before.

Splashing some cold water on his tired face one last time, Buquet finally exited the restroom and made his way back home, all the while reassuring himself that what he had witnessed couldn’t have been real.

‘Tomorrow Miss (Y/N) is gonna come to work as always. Nothing bad happened to her. Right now she is at home, resting on her bed.’ He would repeat himself over and over.

And the next day, Buquet got his much needed relief when he saw you rehearsing at the stage as if nothing had transcurred the night before. He almost let out an euphoric laugh when he saw you safe and sound and that he had been anxious for nothing.

Concluding that the constant burnout was the cause of his hallucinations, Mr. Buquet requested for a few days off to recover, a request that Monsieur Andre approved without thinking twice. 

Everything was going to be okay… or so thought Joseph Buquet.

Castings for a new production called ‘Il Muto’ were about to start in a few weeks, and everyone was about to witness how a single wrong decision could unleash the most gruesome of horrors.

[sage-nebula]

My problem with the “let the adults handle things" is that the protagonist and Hop are just okay with that and actually listen? kids aren't like that?? In every other story with children and main characters they get told stuff like that but still don't listen anyways and actually works and save the day. But the real reason is that it was probably the original plan but the game got rushed and had to scrap it and cut corners

This might come as a shock, but kids are people, and therefore aren’t a monolith. “Kids don’t listen and wouldn’t be okay with that” isn’t a statement that can be made with 100% accuracy because just like all adults are different, all kids are different. Some kids will stomp their feet and throw tantrums when they’re told no. Others will accept it. It depends on the individual child, as well as the circumstances involved.

As for these specific children and circumstances:

The primary time that Leon and Sonia say “let the adults handle this,” Hop wasn’t actually present. He shows up after the cutscene has already unfolded. Even if he had been, Hop hero worships Leon. He wants to surpass Leon because surpassing him means being just like him. He’s crushed after battling Bede not because he lost, but rather because Bede tells him that he’s making Leon look bad. Hop apologizes to Leon the next time he sees him. What all this means is that if Leon tells Hop to do something, Hop is 99.9% likely to do it. If Leon says, “Stay back and let me handle this,” Hop will. This is evidenced by how, even though Hop runs past Raihan and others to get to Leon in the climax of the story, he at first hangs back and lets Leon handle Eternatus, confidently telling the player that Leon can do it. It’s only when Leon fails and is injured that Hop steps up to battle Eternatus alongside the player, Zacian, and Zamazenta. So yes, it makes perfect sense that Hop would listen to Leon because Hop hangs on Leon’s every word and has since he was very small. He trusts and believes in his brother implicitly and, even after deciding to cheer for the player in the Championship match, later confides that he didn’t really think the player was capable of defeating Leon.

As for the player, they have no personality outside of what you give them. For me, I’ve been playing Pokémon games since 1998. I’m absolutely beyond tired of having to save everyone’s asses because the PokéWorld can’t go two years without facing another crisis. I don’t want to be the hero anymore. I don’t want to be the Champion anymore. I was exhausted at having to be the Champion in Alola. This isn’t a job that appeals to me, it’s not one that I want. So if Leon and Sonia say, “Go continue your adventure, we’ll handle this,” my response is, “Thank fucking god” because that means I can fuck back off into the wilderness and continue exploring. I don’t want it to be my job to clean up whatever bullshit mess Chairman Rose or any other villain has caused. I am here to explore lands I’ve never seen before, to catch and train and play with monsters, and battle alongside them in battles I choose to participate in, too. That’s all I want to do. Any other bullshit is just a giant pain in the ass that pulls me away from what I’d rather be doing. And since I feel that way, the player character in my games feels that way, too. After all, when I play, the player character isn’t actually a kid. She’s actually an adult in the body of a kid. But she’ll pretend to be a kid if it means someone else picks up the slack and saves the world for once (even if she ends up having to do it anyway, sigh). She deserves a damn break.

All of that said:

In every other story with children and main characters they get told stuff like that but still don't listen anyways and actually works and save the day.

That’s exactly why it’s refreshing that this wasn’t the case in Sword & Shield. I mean, yeah, the player had to intervene anyway because that’s just how video games work, but it was nice that for once in this series’ history the adults actually tried to do something. The only other time this has happened was in Black & White, wherein the Gym Leaders and Alder stepped up to make a stand against Team Plasma. Otherwise, the adults are 100% useless in every single game, even the ones where the villain is threatening genocide, and as an adult myself, I really hate that. Sure, kids need stories where people their age are being heroes, absolutely. But when adults don’t even try, and instead happily leave everything on the shoulders of a child, I get aggravated. It shouldn’t be up to actual children to save the world, and it was so refreshing to see a Pokémon game where that was recognized, and where the Champion himself was seriously injured trying to make sure that didn’t happen.

Lastly:

But the real reason is that it was probably the original plan but the game got rushed and had to scrap it and cut corners

Yes, Sword & Shield had a limited development time that led to some things getting cut (such as the National Dex, tragedy though that is), just as every game since Gen VI has. However, I can confidently say that this is not one of them because of the characters involved.

Sonia has, in my opinion, one of the richest characterizations and most realistic stories out of almost any other Pokémon characters from the games. At the start of the game, she’s in her twenties and has no idea what she’s doing with her life. She’s retired from battling after dropping out of the Gym Challenge in her youth, but she dropped out of the Gym Challenge because she lacked the confidence to face the obstacles it presented, not because she wanted to do something else. The fact is, Sonia doesn’t really know what she wants to do. We know that she went to school at one point (her fake assistant in the post-game mentions that Sonia does have a doctorate), but she doesn’t have any actual research she’s working on. Instead, she’s a self-appointed assistant for her grandmother, even if what she does is mostly just meander around the lab . . . reading or organizing materials, I guess.

But after her grandmother gives her a kick in the pants and tells her to go find something she wants to do, she manages to do just that. She finds something that ignites her curiosity and her passion, something that makes a difference in her life at the very least, and possibly the lives of everyone in Galar. She finds her confidence, her drive, and her purpose. At the end of the game she’s the new regional professor, more sure of herself and her place in the world. And as someone who only just very recently left my 20s, I can say that Sonia’s story in this regard is very, very Millennial. Most twenty-somethings have no idea what they’re doing with their lives. And while they probably won’t figure it out as quickly as Sonia did (I’m still working on it myself), her struggles are very relatable and real. It’s clear that a lot of thought went into her character and her writing. Game Freak gave her a lot of love.

With all of that said though, Sonia being hyper-aware that she is an adult while Hop and the protagonist are kids is something that is present from the very beginning. She brings it up when you first reach the wild area, for instance. She makes it known that she has more experience and that she is therefore watching out for you and for Hop (particularly since Leon frets over Hop, as Sonia also points out). Sonia telling the protagonist to just keep enjoying the Gym Challenge while she looks into things is 100% in character for her. It’s characterization present from the start.

And the same goes for Leon. Leon, who became Champion at age 10, and therefore has had to shoulder the burden of being Galar’s Champion for over a decade, knows exactly what it is to have too much responsibility at too young an age. Sonia notes that Leon “practically raised [Hop]” (which is odd given they have a mom and at least one grandparent, but nonetheless), and also that he worries about him constantly. I believe Raihan says something along the same lines. And we see this from Leon as well, with him questioning you about what was going on with Hop when he runs into you in Hammerlocke after Hop’s battle against Bede, and then talking about how he’s going to seek Hop out to talk to him again. Leon doesn’t want Hop to so much as feel bad, much less be in actual danger, even setting aside the fact that Leon feels greatly responsible for the safety and happiness of everyone in the Galar region and therefore feels that it is his responsibility as Champion to face any threat to any of that head on. (Which, it is his responsibility as Champion to face threats to the region, but Leon takes it too far in that he feels he’s responsible for everyone’s happiness as well, which in turn contributes to how unhappy he actually is being Champion). So considering the fact that Leon is very protective of Hop and feels strongly that it is his duty as Champion to deal with any burden Galar faces, it is 100% in character for him to wave you off with a smile as well. That’s not a “we cut this corner because of time,” this is a, “We understand the character we’ve created and we’re staying true to him.”

So, to summarize: I disagree with everything you said. Goodnight. 

[dalekofchaos]

Why Voldemort is a terrible villain and how I’d improve Voldemort as a villain

As much as I like Voldemort, when you look back on the books. Voldemort is a terrible villain. Yes he has the Horcruxes and has loyal followers...but that’s it. In this post I will be examining why Voldemort is a terrible villain in Harry Potter and how I would improve Voldemort as a villain.

Let’s look at Voldemort’s track record

No clear motivations. The movies do absolutely nothing to flesh out Voldemort, but that's understandable, they're the movies. But even in the books, there is no clear reason for Voldemort doing any of the things that he does. During the flashbacks in the Pensive, Tom is a disturbed child who has a tendency to torture animals, lure other children to creepy caves and steal stuff - all of this is bad, yes, but why? Why is Tom Riddle "evil"? I know the explanation that the canon somewhat provides: that Voldemort doesn't know love/friendship/connection because he was conceived under the trickery of a love potion, and his mother was abused But, even if you accept that explanation, that does not justify Tom Riddle being innately evil and monstrous. Why is he racist/supremacist? If he really is a natural genius with a detachment from human emotion, shouldn't he also be detached from things like blood supremacy, ancestry and mortality? Just because he's a sociopath doesn't mean he will automatically turn into Hitler.

Wages a Wizarding war, but couldn’t even conquer his own Wizarding Nation

He couldn’t become Minister Of Magic. Instead he dicked around in Borgins And Burkes and instead wanted to become Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor.....for reasons. He could’ve used his power as Minister Of Magic to gain followers, especially the fanatic pure blood families and the impressionable Slytherins and cover for his Horcrux murders. But nooo.

When Voldemort DOES take power by force during the second Wizarding War, he does barely anything with it. Voldemort owns the government and has an army of evil. Where does he plan to launch his attack on the world? At a god damn highschool. Yes I know he attacked Hogwarts because of the last Horcrux. Didn't need to get that far if he didn't act like the world's worst Bond villain and monologued for enough time to let Harry either escape or for the Deus ex machina to arrive on que. The first two times it happens, yeah I get it. You're a villain who is up himself, shit happens. But by book 5 when he is still doing dumb shit it's unforgivable. How hard is it to issue a kill on sight order to your hordes of evil? I mean FFS you have legit werewolves on your side, who can sniff out a drop of blood miles away and yet you do nothing with them? Not only do you fail to kill a defenseless baby but you can't evil kill the kid when he's locked up in your second in commands basement.

He isn't particularly charismatic or a decent leader. He does have tons of followers, for reasons. Seriously, except for fear and opportunism I can't understand why anybody would want to fight for him. I mean, I get that he is basically magic!Hitler, but actual Hitler could at least hold speeches. Actual Hitler had arguments why his rule would be good for the German people. Voldemort doesn't. Voldemort treats his followers like shit and tortures or kills them if they aren't useful any more.

He didn't do his homework and doesn't knows the magic lore good enough. He manages to kill himself two times because of lore he really should have known about. The first time he fails to see the magic love-charm, the second time he doesn't recognizes the arcane rules of wand ownership. Those are stupid, avoidable mistakes for somebody that is supposed to be the greatest dark mage of his time.

He isn't even a particularly good mage. He manages to get statemaled by Harry and defeated by Dumbledore. He never does anything truly remarkable with magic that we haven't seen other characters do the same or better (the cave in book six is pretty good, but that's already has best showing). All we see is “AVADA KEDAVA.” Cool, I’ve seen every damn villain use that stupid fucking spell and yes it is a terrible spell.

His plans are... well, they are shit. If your plans get permanently foiled by a bunch of meddeling kids, you should think about retirement, not world domination. The plan in "Goblet of fire" only works out because of dumb luck. "Orden of phoenix" works out because of Harrys incompetence. The plan to kill Dumbledore only worked cause Voldemort used logic and had one of his followers do the work for him. The rest of his plans fail gloriously.

Voldemort's goals. He... wants to be immortal, but why? Because he's afraid of death? Why is he afraid of death? He literally spent his childhood cutting open rabbits. He excelled in all fields of academia and is arguably very intelligent; intelligence tends to negate superstition. Okay, fine; let's assume he's afraid of death. But even if we look for another explanation: maybe he wants to live forever in order to stay in power.

Voldemort wants power...Why does he want power? Why does he want to, quite literally, take over the world? It makes no sense. He has no reason to care about any of that. Even if he's prejudiced against Muggles, what exactly gives him the willpower to actually gather followers, build a legion of darkdoom evil squad and kill everyone? His motivations are never explained, and he is introduced to the story as a 2-dimensional "bad guy". Even from the 4th book onward, Voldemort is never actually fleshed out. He simply goes from bad guy to "extremely bad guy/"super fucking evil". It's shallow. It's a bad character. He isn't even a character. He has no depth, nuance, relatability or layers to him. He's just a textbook douchebag who exists simply to give the protagonists something to do, because otherwise the stories would just be about magic school.

Let's look at the closest and most obvious reflection: Adolf Hitler. It's painfully obvious that Voldemort's movement is based on Nazism. But if you read Mein Kampf, Hitler actually believed what he was doing was justified, and provided reasons for it which he thought made sense. Even if it was objectively flawed, he believed it. That's what makes a good character in fiction; even if they're actually batshit fucking insane and critically evil, you can make them relatable if you go inside their head and show the audience why they're doing what they're doing. Even if the audience doesn't agree with the character, the audience understands why the character thinks this way. Unlike Hitler's diary, Voldemort has no level of self-introspection, no actual justifications. He's a walking plot device, and that's ridiculously bad for a 7-book-long story where he's the main antagonist. I don't remember a single interaction, scene or exchange where Voldemort is shown to have any degree of self-awareness. The youngest we ever see him is when Dumbledore visits him in the orphanage, and by that point he's already evil as balls, for seemingly no reason. Even when Harry is talking to him in their final fight, Voldemort only hisses and spits out superficial threats and a shallow understanding of the events around him, and actually has no idea who he is, or why he's doing what he does. . If he were a realistic character, this lack of self-awareness would build up over time, would create self-doubt in him, and he would go through a character arc where he "found himself" and learned what he really wanted. And then, maybe he comes back and does some crazy shit, but this time he does them with glorious conviction, and has no shame in admitting it. The audience knows him now, and he's a great villain. But that's not what we got. Remember the 13-odd years Voldemort spent floating around like a puff of gas, possessing rats and squatting in Quirrel's turban? Why did his character not develop? HE HAD THIRTEEN FUCKING YEARS TO REFLECT ON HIMSELF. He literally had nothing else to do. He could've become such a complex character. Think about it: a bland, textbook villain gets cucked into infinity and now can't actually do anything but bide his time. It would clearly affect his personality, especially if it lasts 13 goddamn years. But when Voldemort is revived in book 4, he's still just "look how evil I am.exe". He had literally no character arc of any kind. That's actually impossible. No sentient human being can have the same personality, goals and motivations after over a decade of exile. He's a badly-written villain, plain and simple.

It seems like a very poor decision to make the antagonist of 7 thick books this unrelatable and bland. It also makes no sense because Rowling has written consistently excellent characters throughout the series. Why not make Voldemort a real character?

So here is how I would improve Voldemort as a villain

Motivation. So since it's universally accepted that Salazar was against Muggleorns because he grew up in a time where Wizards and Witches were being burned at the stake. What if Voldemort had similar intentions cause he grew up in a time during WWII and the Cold War and saw how powerful and dangerous the Muggles were becoming with their nuclear weapons and wanted to protect magic kind from the Muggles and viewed the Muggles invading a possibility. So he became Lord Voldemort and formed the Death Eaters to finish Salazar Slytherin’s work to protect magic kind against Muggles and Muggleborns. It could’ve started out as noble, but turned racist and evil in the end.  

As Tom Riddle, he becomes the Minister Of Magic or given a position of power secondary to the Minister Of Magic. The Lord Of Magic. It’s important that prior to becoming Lord Voldemort, he should hold a position of political power within the Ministry Of Magic. In Hogwarts, it is said as a student Tom was charismatic, charming and a wolf in sheep’s clothing. So why not use all that for politics? He could use his charm and political power to turn the Ministry Of Magic against the Muggleborns and against the Muggles. He would write a book explaining in detail why he believes in what he believes and that gives him the following he needs. The Book in question would be called “Magic Is Might!” The old Pure Blood magical families and impressionable young Slytherins would follow him like moths to a flame.  He could use his newfound political power to research all forms of magic and even the dark arts. He could make Horcruxes in secret. As Voldemort he would gather allies who were rejected by society like Werewolves and Giants. But despite what the Horcruxes do to his face, he could use magic to keep up appearances. He wouldn’t just be seeking to wage war with the muggles and muggleborns. First Voldemort has to take over the Wizarding world. 

Treats his followers like allies. Voldemort does not use fear and the threat of death and torture on his most trusted allies. Tom Riddle’s the Knights of Walpurgis hold key positions in Tom Riddle’s administration and then the Death Eaters are born and Voldemort treats them with respect and admiration. In a sense, he treats the Death Eaters like family.

The First WIzarding War should have been about Voldemort waging war on the other Wizarding nations. This would truly show how terrifying and powerful Voldemort really is. Would also explain why the other nations did not interfere in the second war, cause they were that terrified of Voldemort. The Order Of Phoenix was barely able to win and drive Voldemort from power. 

Voldemort’s fall was because he was desperate. He was ousted from power and Dumbledore, the OOTP and Aurors are on his trail. His body is failing him, so he desperately needs to create a new Horcrux. So he kills The Potters. He fully knew that Lily used the love charm to shield Harry from him. So He saw a way out. Voldemort purposefully destroyed himself so he could gain a new Horcrux. 

Plus, we can have Voldemort hide the Horcruxes in the nations he conquered. So Voldemort can hide them in -Russia -Germany -America -Hogwarts -France Obviously Nagini would be by his side at all times and well Harry is the last one. For context of how Voldemort conquered these nations. Imperio, subterfuge, and mass hysteria. He took out the Wizarding governments and implanted them with his thrawls.

Make Voldemort as hated as Umbridge. Here’s how.

In my hypothetical scenario where Voldemort hides the Horcruxes in different Wizarding Nations, make 8 books. Book 7 ends with everyone graduating from Hogwarts and the fall of the Ministry. 

This way, after graduation, the Ministry has fallen and it ends with the Big Seven on the run. In Book 8 they are all on the hunt for the Horcruxes. Not just for Horcruxes, but international allies to unite the Wizarding world against Voldemort. It ends with the final confrontation being at the Ministry. Voldemort's endgame plan is not just to wipe out the Muggleborns, but wiping out the Muggles. He has the Magic equivalent to a Nuclear bomb. Voldemort wants to destroy the Muggles and recreate the world in his image. Magic Is Might! He plans on using it and Harry has to stop him before it's too late

Voldemort fails because the Horcruxes are failing him. It isn’t immortality, it is only temporarily longevity and every time one of his Horcruxes gets destroyed, his body breaks down and his soul is in an even worse shape.  When Nagini is destroyed, it is over. Voldemort thinks if he can kill Harry, he will live forever as the prophecy states “only one can live forever.” so he believes if he could just kill Harry, he can win. But Harry deflects his curses and sends it right back at him. Voldemort dies as he did in the book. Powerless, alone and human.

[shiny-procrastinates]

(re)Watching Magia Record S1 - part 13

part 12 here

Hello and welcome everyone to the last post in this series. Most people probably would watch this ep right after the other one and there's much to be written, so let's skip the recap and get right to it.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record S1 episode 13

This show in a nutshell.

Really though, poor Iroha. She only came to this town to look for her sister and now she's learnt a cruel secret and is being urged to join a cult. Talk about someone who must have no idea what's going on anymore.

Back in reality, Yachiyo has finally caught up. She tries to stop Mifuyu from showing them the truth, but I'd say it's too late now. Also, Mifuyu's sure being a jerk today. You don't get to blame Yachiyo for letting them come when you're the one who made sure this would happen!

Yachiyo gets upset, and Mifuyu disappears. Iroha wakes up with Yachiyo cleaning her Soul Gem and Yachiyo says this but, nah Yachiyo, they'd have to learn this sooner or later and you don't seem like you'd ever tell them.

Iroha and Yachiyo start making their way out of Memory Museum. Tsuruno and the others were with Iroha when they went down but now they're nowhere to be found. Wait, does that mean we don't get to see their reactions to learning the truth? What a let down.

On this topic, Iroha's also pretty calm despite everything, which is probably part because realization hasn't settled in yet, part because she's occupied worrying about her team... but maybe also in part because Iroha has a wish she can’t regret, so she just doesn't care about the price as much as others. Doesn't she look like this kind of character? "I don't care what price I have to pay if that means I'll save them"-like.

Oh.

Hey Yachiyo 1: that was really outta nowhere; 2: that's not very nice of you, jumping ship just as things have hit rock-bottom. What the hell

Iroha, of course, is as shocked as we are (we are?). Sure Yachiyo had been acting strange since yesterday but this is a bit much. You can't just decide this on your own when 3/5 of the team is MiA

Iroha follows after Yachiyo, pressing her for an explanation, but Yachiyo refuses to give one.

Iroha's understandably upset at Yachiyo's attitude and asserts she refuses to leave Yachiyo's side if she won't give her a convincing reason to. And really, she has all the reasons to lose her cool here: one of her best friends is leading a cult, she's destined to a fate worse than death, half her team is missing and now the last one wants out for absolutely no discernible reason besides because she wants to. Even a saint has their limits.

Also, like, Mikazuki Team is like family to her, Yachiyo can't just decide to destroy her home with no explanation like this

Hearing what Iroha said, maybe Yachiyo realized she wouldn't get Iroha off her tail without saying anything, so she reveals her reason for wanting to disband the team. Yachiyo says that her wish was to survive. However, the way it worked was that she sacrificed others for her own survival. So she thinks Iroha and co. will die if they stay with her.

Even hearing this, Iroha's not convinced. Could such a wish really exist?

So yeah, Yachiyo was having a little crisis there and ended up being eaten by the Rumor(?). Thankfully, Iroha could still see her signal on the Soul Gem GPS, so the girl firms her determination to save her.

While Iroha's doing that, Yachiyo's having a lecture by herself to herself inside the Rumor. Quite the novel way to do introspection, if I do say so myself.

Here, we learn that Yachiyo originally wished to survive in the modelling world (we're never directly told that she's a model but there's lots of visual cues to it throughout the series). She did it because she thought she had to be a strong leader to protect her companions. She didn't want to survive at their expanse; so, uhhh...

She isn't then. Wishes in this series come true in the exact way the Magical Girl wants it to, so Yachiyo's wish can't be killing anyone if that's not what she wanted. She's misunderstanding.

...I wish they'd have put Kanae and Mel's last words in the actual scene they belong to rather than just a still, since they're literally one of the main reasons Yachiyo even reached the conclusion that their deaths were caused by her.

Iroha has learned "hold B to charge".

So, yeah, Iroha must've had a training arc off-screen because even though she's only been shown sucking at battles the whole series, she's now suddenly strong enough to defeat a Rumor on her own. Or maybe she just wanted to save her wife Yachiyo that much.

Iroha defeats the Rumor of Memory Museum (the place's an actual building, if a weird one, so that stays), hugs Yachiyo and is about to literally drag her by the hand to go search for the others, but Yachiyo's still reluctant. Iroha then tells her that Yachiyo and the others are the one who made her this strong, so she'll prove to her that her wish isn't what she thinks it is.

Don't jinx yourself, idiot! Thank god you've got protagonist plot armor.

Now, if only years of survivor's guilt could be cured this easily in real life too.

Yachiyo finally calls Iroha by her first name, accepting Iroha's promise.

The museum starts falling apart, probably thanks to the damage it received when Iroha was fighting the Rumor, so Iroha and Yachiyo have no choice but to leave the place now, even though they haven't found the others yet.

Iroha barely dodges some debris, stumbling, so Yachiyo carries her instead. Iroha's Soul Gem has been drained from fighting the Rumor, so she's having a hard time moving already. Doppels may be a thing, but there's no guarantee that they're safe, so Yachiyo's call of going to the Coordinator's to get a Grief Seed is probably correct.

As Iroha's situation worsens, Yachiyo follows Chibi Kyuubei until almost the entrance. Then, she meets with someone we know very well.

Mami says something about a gospel, and Yachiyo asserts that she and Iroha have no intention of joining the cult.

Which makes Mami snap. This girl is clearly not on her right mind. In fact, one could say she lost her head (ba-dum-tss).

Mami and Yachiyo start fighting, and I guess as expected of a veteran of 7 years, we have to commend Yachiyo here on meeting Mami's blows while carrying Iroha on her back. Yachiyo pleads with Mami to hear them out but Touka, the brat who was just watching the battle, tells Mami she doesn't have to, and Mami just keeps on her offensive.

Of course, there's only so much Yachiyo could do handicapped. But today is not the day Yachiyo's getting a bullet to her head, because

A certain someone who really likes impromptu hydrant smoke bombs is here.

Sayaka! Nice save, shining cape hero of justice! You have no idea who exactly you're calling weak tho

Seeing Sayaka, it looked like Mami had went back to normal for a moment, but nope, she's still borked. Like in all timelines where she learns it, seems like Mami didn't take the truth well here either. The difference is that she can't witch out in Kamihama so something happened instead.

Mami keeps monologuing, with Sayaka of course not understanding a single thing she's saying. Then, Mami starts to doppel out. The girl has seriously lost her mind and is now obsessed with salvation. (and man 10/10 on the VA’s voice acting here)

And here comes the bullet hell! This is so overkill Mami

Sayaka and Yachiyo do their best to deflect the rain of bullets, with Yachiyo turning back and trying to compete in number of spears. Jesus, just how big exactly is the amount of magic a veteran magical girl has? This is insane!

Yachiyo tries to send a stream of spears, who are deflected with one Tiro Finale, with another one headed their way right after

Sayaka blocks the Tiro Finale with her sword. The shot is so powerful one of her arms is torn off AND SHE ATTACHES IT BACK MID-AIR

holy-moly!

Hope this museum has insurance.

Sayaka just barely manages to reflect that bomb, which saves them from being blown to smithereens. Touka was having a nice tea time watching the spectacle, but then realizes she had something else to attend to so she exits, leaving the stage to Mami, who resumes her bullet hell.

Sayaka uses Yachiyo's spears as a platform to get closer and attempts to grab Mami, to no avail. She falls down and tries to take cover, but Mami's bullets are now homing bullets apparently, because they just change direction and start raining in her direction again.

Down below where Yachiyo's hiding, Iroha manages to wake back up, but she looks, like, on the verge of dying or something. Iroha tells Yachiyo they have to help Sayaka and Yachiyo rebukes there's no way they could win, to which Iroha subtly implies she wants to use her doppel, assuring Yachiyo it'll be okay and raising yet another flag.

Mami finally corners Sayaka, but before Sayaka can become blue Swiss cheese, Iroha comes in with her doppel to cover her. Very convenient that she suddenly knows how to control it.

Aaand Yachiyo can do that too, because of course she does, why wouldn't she. (/sarcasm)

But, uhhh, hers is considerably more creepy, what with the extra arms and stuff. Yikes.

Yachiyo says that doppels are dangerous, but one has to wonder when and how did she even learn about them. After all, she did seem surprised when Iroha did not turn into a witch in Seance Shrine.

While that's going on Touka's just out here deciding by herself that Mami would want to die for the sake of salvation. Just, uh, I don't think you can judge that when she's gone nuts, and you're a jerk if you put her in that scenario expecting her to die. Not that anyone had any doubts you're a jerk, mind you.

Also, what does she mean with Mami helping with developing Rumors?

"hey Kyuubei, I don't want to be meguka anymore, can I retire?"

Even using their doppels, Iroha and Yachiyo are not managing to make even a dent in Holy Mami. Iroha ends up getting bashed into a wall, the doppel taking over for real and her becoming a sitting duck for Mami, but Yachiyo yeets Mami before she can shoot. I'm sure this wasn't supposed to be funny but there's just something hilarious to me about Yachiyo just yeeting Holy Mami and her bouncing away.

Yachiyo transforms and shakes Iroha back to reality.

Again, why the heck do you know this, Yachiyo.

Iroha raises yet another flag for herself. What next? Are you going to say you want to marry her when you two go back?

Somewhere else, Touka arrives on her appointment: a speech for the cult. And oh my hell just look at how many magical girls there is! The amount of Black Feathers always blows me away, since the impression I got from og and even the spin offs is that, sure, there are some groups of magical girls around like the Holy Quintet and the Pleiades, but I still though it was more of a rare thing. It's shocking to see THIS many in the same place. (...I suppose the game needed the cannon fodder :x)

HEY what are these two doing here?!

Touka continues her speech over Iroha and Yachiyo's battle.

This cult leader here continues her discourse, preaching about how the power to wish for something is what advanced civilization, so magical girls, who have the power to make a wish reality, are better than normal humans, and so are deserving of being released from their fate.

OH NO, TSURUNO HAS GONE WEIRD TOO

*bonk*

There goes Holy Mami down the collapsing museum.

It's not like Touka's completely wrong (except for saying that magical girls are superior), but if it wasn't clear enough already, their actual actions makes her speech be full of hypocrisy.

Back at the crumbling Memory Museum, Iroha has managed to jinx herself so hard throughout this episode she pierced her own protagonist plot armor. Great job!

Try as she might, Yachiyo just cannot pull her back up, which also makes no sense when you consider how strong magical girls are, but alas.

And to make things worse, Mami is also pulling a literal "you're going down with me", so Iroha, making a split second decision, pulls her hand away from Yachiyo's grasp, lest both of them fall and get buried... breaking the one promise she made probably not even a hour ago.

I think that last thing she said was "sorry", but don't quote me on that.

What a loyal Mokyu. Never mind that if they can turn into water they probably can't die from this.

Yachiyo's about to follow her fate too, but thankfully Sayaka comes in for the save, only giving a brief glance to where Mami disappeared before getting the heck out of there.

Well, people promise lots of things, Yachiyo.

OH I KNOW YOU, what was your name again? It's been so long I forgot.

Back at the The Wings of the Magius' HQ, Touka's done with her speech. The way the anime cuts from Yachiyo falling to the depths of despair to the cult clapping is just *chef's kiss*

Oh no Felicia and Sana also joined the cult :(

EXCUSE ME, WHAT

oh frick we'll have to deal with that too!? Aren't things already effed up enough as is!?

...being meguka is suffering.

Also the song playing over this last sequence, Nigredo, is a real banger. Momentarily filling in that hole Kalafina left in our hearts.

After the end credits there's the teaser for season 2, with lots of overlapping lines and blink-and-you-miss-it frames hinting at the things that'll happen. I'd have to screenshot basically the whole sequence to get everything and season 2 is coming out like, today, so I'm not even gonna bother.

- x -

Aaand that's it folks! Puella Magia Madoka Magica Side Story: Magia Record Season 1! (still a mouthful)

I cannot express just how hyped I was by the end of this episode back when it aired. Did you get fired up watching it too? I was so into it back then I just couldn't stop theorizing for like, over a month, so eventually the curiosity was just too much and I caved in and watched the game.

On that matter, ironically, despite me loving the game story to bits, this is the ONE episode that makes me wish I didn't go and watch the game. Why? Because I liked this episode well enough before, but now I just can't get over how stupidly better the resolution to Yachiyo's arc was done in the game. I get runtime constraints and all, but it's almost an offense to her character having her believe in Iroha right away just because Iroha said she wouldn't die. Aaaaghh what the heck, I don't know how they could have done this better with the time on the episode but this wasn't it. I'll be eternally salty we got robbed of the full extent of alpha Iroha, too.

So yeah, I do apologize if this post sounded more salty and sarcastic than usual.

One thing I realized re-watching this though is that the reason this episode is so awkward with that character part is exactly because they halfheartedly tried to stick to the game. Yachiyo bringing back her "it's none of your account" and Iroha defeating the Rumor on her own were part of the game, but because they hadn't kept those character traits throughout the anime it falls flat here, because anime Yachiyo didn't use that almost as a catchphrase, and anime Iroha is never shown to be competent enough to take on a Rumor on her own (the opposite, in fact), so those come out of nowhere. Even last episode, Yachiyo 180ing because of what Mifuyu said comes out of the blue in the anime, because we're missing the context that she actually went back to behaving like she used to when she first disbanded her team, and anime Yachiyo didn't have the hold-up with the word "friends", at least not as clearly. On the other hand, Yachiyo being willing to accept Iroha's words right away does fit in with anime Yachiyo, who was always more soft than game version, but here it becomes awkward because they had had her acting like her game counterpart since last episode and then suddenly she snaps back to the anime self again.

What I'm trying to say here is that they should've changed this scene even more to fit the actual characters anime Iroha and Yachiyo are, rather than halfheartedly trying to force it to go the same way as in the game. That's what I think.

Besides that, Tsuruno and co.'s reaction to the truth was cut out, but I'm sure we'll get around to seeing that next season. Holy Mami's fight is cool but... I dunno. Except Sayaka reflecting that Tiro Finale, it felt really uninspired. It could've been shorter if that meant giving more time to the story, imo

Now for things I REALLY like in this episode, there's the whole sequence with Touka's speech. You might've even guessed this considering I said the dream sequence way back in episode 1 is my favorite ever. IT'S JUST SO GOOD. The constrast between Touka delivering this super charismatic discourse about magical girls, the saint of her cause being lunatic and their actions being just the opposite of the noble cause she says they're preaching is marvelous. They even manage to use this time to reveal that KaMoRe and Tsuruno and co. are on the cult. Really, really well done.

This ending tho. Iroha disappearing is the biggest anime original thing to happen besides Kuroe, so that's got me curious to see what they'll do with this. I love the game, so I have complicated feelings about the anime diverging from it, but I can't deny it's exciting to think about what they'll change up. Ultimately, it's more likely that they're just rearranging some stuff to make the progress more straightforward, but it'd be really cool if it went full anime original too. Just I'm not sure on the odds for that.

I'm sure they'll keep us on the suspense until the very last moment possible but I'm sure Iroha's not actually dead. Looking at a meta sense, there's no way they'd kill a main character off-screen. Storywise, it'd be hard to move Ui's mystery forward without the one person who remembers her and they're not just going to drop this plot, and also for Iroha to be dead Holy Mami would also need to be dead and we can't have that because they haven't even went into what's wrong with her yet. So yeah. I'll believe it when I see it. Would it be absolutely crazy if they did? Yeah, but it ain't gonna happen. (please don't make me have to bite my tongue show)

Whew, this post is long af. I didn't plan for this. I don't feel like writing a season impression because all of s1 was mostly set up for what's to come, so I can't say if it was good or bad until the series is over. Originally, I'd planned to put up another post with my theories for s2, but considering that comes out today I'm not sure there's even a point to doing it anymore lol

In any case, I hope I could provide you some fun with these posts! Being honest, the reason I decided to write this was because I've always liked to hear people's opinions on the shows I like, but I don't really have people to watch things with me, so I just read reddit and stuff. Doing that, when I was watching Symphogear s1 some years back, I stumbled across these posts of someone watching it for the first time and had a blast reading those as I watched. So I wanted to provide someone with that experience too. I'll never reach the comedic genius that person had, but I can at least keep you company while you watch :)

...these are also super useful to check back on the order of events too :v

So yeah, writing these was fun, though there were lots of parts where I really went out of ideas of what to say; it forced me to actually sit down and rewatch (or else I'd procrastinate) and made me pick up on a lot of things. That's a plus in my book.

Now that we are done with this, I hope you are as excited for season 2 as I am! I'm not sure if I'll keep writing about it here, so yeah. Whether we ever meet again or not, remember:

Don't ever make a contract with a white weasel.

[longinglook]

I may or may not have spent my entire Sunday binge watching all of I told sunset about you and Gaya sa pelikula and now I have so many thoughts and feelings that I need to write about them so here we go! Under a read more (if tumblr allows me to) because it’s 2k words hehe

First of all, I knew next to nothing about both shows before starting them. I had seen a couple of gifs here and there, but really had no idea what I was in for.

I started with I told sunset about you, which has 3 episodes out of 5 out. All I knew is that it was going to be beautiful and possibly sad, and it was. Everything about this show is so high quality, from the audio to the dialogue to the locations to the acting, just wow. The production is better than a lot of movies I’ve seen, and every technical aspect is perfect. I am really loving the plot so far as well, I find the childhood friendship to stubborn rivalry to grown up friendship again very relatable. I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of non straight folks to develop an extremely close bond with a same sex friend when you’re too young to realize what you’re actually feeling for them until you’re a lot older and suddely the jealousy and possessivenes all make sense.

I love the recurring themes sprinkled throughout the episodes, starting from the chinese vocabulary that expresses the core thoughts of the two main characters: rival, intimacy, secret, male protagonist, as promised. They could easily be the episode titles, or the names of imaginary sections the show could be divided into. It’s a great way to integrate metaphors and deeper meaning into the plot.

That’s how most of the communication goes in this show, deep emotions are never conveyed through words because words are scary and loud and they can’t be taken back once they’re out there. The plot advances though stares and gestures and touch and gorgeous shots of the landscape. The pace is slow with hour-long episodes that could each be a movie of their own. This worried me a bit before starting, and I have to admit that at times I struggled to stay focused, especially during scenes that set the mood but don’t do much plot-wise. This is just a personal preference, though, and in no way I see it as a flaw. 

The dancing around each other the main characters do, sometimes literal, is frustrating but it determines an emotional build up that’s just starting to reach its peak. This is one of those shows that has me screaming if only they talked to each other, but the silences and unspoken words are so well directed and acted that it works. I struggle a lot with keeping in mind that they’re still in high school, they’re very young and I can’t expect them to act rationally just yet. 

I was really worried about Teh possibly going the insufferable Theory-of-love-khai way, and I am still not 100% sold on him. When he started helping Oh-aew again it felt like he was just doing it to make himself feel better about the whole thing. It was frustrating to see him so possessive and jealous while also so deeply in denial about his own feelings, to the point where he had me rooting for Bas instead. He was getting better, but then he fled at the end of episode 3 and now I have no clue what’s going to happen next. About this, I really have no idea if they’re going for a happy ending or a sad one. I’m really hoping it will be good, because so far there has been barely any emotional payoff for all the repressed longing and misunderstanding the show has put us through.

I do like their dynamic a lot though, I have a weak spot for childhood friends reconnecting and an ever weaker spot for informal mentor/mentee relationships. Oh-aew asking Teh to tutor him until he passes the admission exam was an almost exact mirror of Yuri on ice Yuri begging Victor to be his coach until he retires and I loved that a lot.

Now on to the one issue I have with this show: it feels too much like an art film. It reminds me of Moonlight and Call me by your name, in the way that I wasn’t able to connect with those movies because they are too perfect. They are so beautiful and carefully crafted that I can’t fully immerse myself in them. There’s a filter that stops me from relating to the characters and constantly reminds me that this is not reality. It’s pretty, it’s extremely well done, but it feels like art. It has some quirks, some scenes that feel too artificial. One scene in particular, the one where Teh buries his head in the paper Oh-aew wrote with his coconut scented pen to sniff it, which is a direct parallel to Call me by your name, bothered me in particular. Just as it felt over-the-top and purposefully weird in the movie, so it feels in the show. It’s a way of showcasing how a confused teen deals with attraction he barely understands, it’s raw and animalistic in a way, but it’s so quirky that all it accomplishes is to remind me that I’m watching an lgbt show. It makes me wonder if a scene like this would make sense in a straight relationship because here it seems to highlight how different and primal his attraction is. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that I have a problem with media showcasing queerness though peculiar, purposefully awkward scenes like these instead of normal kissing and cuddling.

Overall, I can’t wait to see how this show ends and I still think it’s one of the best bls to air in 2020, if not ever. It’s refreshing to see something with a big budget used well! So far my rating is 8/10, which I know is a lot lower than what everyone else seems to think but it’s still very much subject to change! Just hoping they won’t pull a Make our days count, but I doubt they’ll go there.

And now Gaya sa pelikula. Wow. Again, I knew next to nothing about this show before watching, and I was coming from a 3 hour I told sunset about you binge watch, so the bar was pretty high.

And boy, did this show deliver. I was blown away by the depth and the humor of it. It feels like the writers had fun taking all sorts of common tropes and stereotypes just to show everyone how well they can be evolved and made complex. Two strangers who somehow find themselves sharing an apartment sounds like the start of so many fanfictions out there, but it’s so well executed and interesting that you don’t even stop to think about how weak the premises for their meeting are. It doesn’t matter and it’s not even that far-fetched, either. The sister and the neighbor are also two characters that start off as extra stereotyped, but in just a few scenes they unveil an incredible depth and backstory. It blew me away.

Each character is so realistic. Everything they do and say makes sense, they all have their reasons and their past and they react accordingly, it’s so coherent. It’s impressive how everything takes place inside the house and you barely realize it because things happen and the plot moves anyways, and the way information about external events and people is conveyed is so seamless that you don’t even notice it. In only 7 episodes (so far) they have managed to give everyone a complex background and personality through the use of objects and small details and wow don’t get me started on the music.

The soundtrack is SO GOOD. I never really pay attention to music in shows but it plays a very important role here in my opinion and, well, it’s exactly the kind of music I like listening to and ahhh I just spent 4 hours playing the first kiss song on loop so I might be biased. Right from the start in episode 1, when Karl gives in to Vlad’s music and starts dancing to it, it’s established that it’s an important element to the mood of each scene. I love how the dancing I talked about for I told sunset about you comes back here, but while I saw it as a hesitant dancing around each other there, here it’s the opposite, it’s freeing and it’s about accepting yourself. And the end of episode 6 highlights this, with the beautiful quote “You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear and shame.” It made me cry a looooot.

I think the development of their relationship is masterfully done. It doesn’t happen too quickly nor too slowly. Karl goes through some needed shocks that act as his wake up call. When I’m watching bl shows I care the most about them feeling real and relatable. I don’t want to feel like they were written by a straight person trying to guess what it’s like to be gay. Now I didn’t look anything up about the Gaya sa pelikula writers, but I’d be very surprised if they were straight. I can relate to both Karl and Vlad for different aspects of their stories and their worries and thoughts. There was one part in particular that hit so close that I had to take a few breaks because it hurt too much. I am a lesbian, I’ve had relationship with a girl that lasted over a year, I am out to some friends but not all. I never came out to my parents, who are both very open minded and friends with a lot of gay people and would love me just as much if I told them, and yet I can’t. It’s not just that, I am terrified by the idea of them already knowing or being able to guess. When Karl freaked out over his uncle guessing, it hit me so hard because I’ve felt the same way so many times.

Episode 7 was amazing. I hate badly written drama the most, and 99% of shows can’t come up with any good reason for drama but they have to put it in there anyways and it sucks. This was the complete opposite, I adored it and I say this as a lover of fluff. It feels right, I think it’s an issue that would come up between two people like them. They are both right and the only thing that could happen there is what actually went down. I definitely think things will be fixed by the end and I am looking forward to it, but I am very glad this issue was included because it’s so important and so true to many lgbt people’s lives.

Another aspect I absolutely adored are the multiple references to lgbt theory and language, and Vlad has some of the best lines I’ve ever heard coming from a bl. When he tells Karl not to be afraid of the word, when he explains that “you don’t look gay” isn’t a compliment, when he scolds his sister for not acknowledging the things she used to say to him by covering them up with her ally act, those are all such important and educative moments that I hope everyone listens to. I love that Vlad is not correcting some ignorant bad guy, but it’s his accepting and loving friends and family that make the mistakes, because sometimes being supportive your own way isn’t enough if you’re not actively learning from the ones you want to support.

This is a 10/10 for me right now. I can’t find anything I don’t like about it. It never feels boring, it never feels overdone, it never feels cheap or unoriginal. It went straight to the top of my favorite bls.

And now I can’t help but compare the two a bit, because yes they are two different shows but right now the relationships they portray have reached the same point: there has been a climax and now the one who is more confused about his sexuality is panicking and taking a step back. It’s a coincidence that I watched both shows on the same day when their last aired episodes end in such a similar way, but it really leads me to compare the two. I don’t want to put them one against each other or say which one did it better because that’s not the point of this, they are both two amazing and important shows who are excelling in what they’re doing. 

Gaya sa pelikula is down to earth, it’s explicit and it’s straight to the point in explaining what’s going on inside each character’s head. It feels like watching real people deal with real struggles. I told sunset about you is a lot more subtle and quiet, and since we don’t really have a clear insight in the characters’ heads sometimes it’s hard to completely understand what’s going on with them. It’s a completely different way of narrating, and while Gaya sa pelikula makes me feel like I’m a part of the events, I told sunset about you feels like I’m just spectating from an outside perspective. They are different choices, but one of them ends up feeling a lot more emotional to me than the other.

To wrap it up, I highly recommend both shows and I can’t wait to see how they’ll end! They are both among the best shows of the year, both free of all those annoyingly stereotyped characters and plot points that most bls tend to overuse.

[hello-robin-goodfellow]

SHAKESPEARE AND THE PRETTY SPEECHES OF A KING

@ardenrosegarden @amalthea9 @lioness--hart @princesssarisa @hmmm-what-am-i-doing @suits-of-woe @malvoliowithin @noshitshakespeare

I was once watching Brows Held High review of Laurence Olivier’s Henry V (1944), where the reviewer, Kyle Kalgreen, analized how it faired in the context of British World War II Propaganda Machine,  as a Shakespeare film adaptation and in comparison to the Kenneth Branagh 1989 Film Adaptation. 

There is a moment he pauses to analyze the most popular speech of the play, wich is the Saint Crispin’s Day Speech:

What’s he that wishes so?

My cousin Westmoreland? 

No, my fair cousin.

If we are marked to die, we are enough

To do our country loss; and if to live,

The fewer men, the greater share of honor.

God’s will, I pray thee wish not one man more.

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold

Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;

It yearns me not if men my garments wear;

Such outward things dwell not in my desires.

But if it be a sin to covet honor,

I am the most offending soul alive.

No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.

God’s peace, I would not lose so great an honor

As one man more, methinks, would share from me,

For the best hope I have. 

Oh, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, 

Westmoreland, through my host,

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,

Let him depart. 

His passport shall be made,

And crowns for convoy put into his purse.

We would not die in that man’s company

That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is called the feast of Crispian.

He that outlives this day and comes safe home,

Will stand o' tiptoe when the day is named

And rouse him at the name of Crispian.

He that shall see this day, and live old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbors

And say, “Tomorrow is Saint Crispian.”

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,

And say, “These wounds I had on Crispin’s day.” 

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot

But he’ll remember with advantages

What feats he did that day. 

Then shall our names,

Familiar in his mouth as household words, 

Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,Warwick and Talbot, 

Salisbury and Gloucester,

Be in their flowing cups freshly remembered.

This story shall the good man teach his son,

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be rememberèd—

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he today that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition;

And gentlemen in England now abed

Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.

(William Shakespeare. Henry V: Act IV, Scene III)

Beautifull. Powerfull. Lie.

Because, as Kyle Kalgreen apoints, while the Laurence Olivier had to cut it to make Henry V more simpathetic, the original Shakespeare text and the Kenneth Branagh Film Adaptation have this scene following the Saint Crispin’s day speech, where the young king reads a list of the english man who died in battle: 

Edward the duke of York, the earl of Suffolk,

Sir Richard Ketly, Davy Gam, esquire;

None else of name, and of all other men

But five and twenty. O God, thy arm was here,

And not to us but to thy arm alone

Ascribe we all! When, without stratagem,

But in plain shock and even play of battle,

Was ever known so great and little loss

On one part and on th' other? 

Take it, God,For it is none but thine. 

(William Shakespeare, Henry V: Act IV, Scene VIII)

The death nobleman are named, while the death common soldier is just ‘None else of name’. The death nobleman is ‘so great loss’. The death common soldier is ‘so little loss’. Contrary to what King Henry V promissed, not everybody who died fighting on his name in France will be considered his brother, remembered and mourned by him.

And them later, we watch the consequences of the reign of his son in the Henry VI trilogy of plays, and in Henry VI Part III, our new protagonist gives this beautifull speech about the blessing of a commoner’s life while sitting over a molehill:

This battle fares like to the morning’s war, 

When dying clouds contend with growing light, 

What time the shepherd, blowing of his nails, 

Can neither call it perfect day nor night. 

Now sways it this way, like a mighty sea 

Forced by the tide to combat with the wind; 

Now sways it that way, like the selfsame sea 

Forced to retire by fury of the wind: 

Sometime the flood prevails, and then the wind; 

Now one the better, then another best; 

Both tugging to be victors, breast to breast, 

Yet neither conqueror nor conquered: 

So is the equal of this fell war. 

Here on this molehill will I sit me down. 

To whom God will, there be the victory! 

For Margaret my queen, and Clifford too, 

Have chid me from the battle; swearing both 

They prosper best of all when I am thence. 

Would I were dead! if God’s good will were so; 

For what is in this world but grief and woe? 

O God! methinks it were a happy life, 

To be no better than a homely swain; 

To sit upon a hill, as I do now, 

To carve out dials quaintly, point by point, 

Thereby to see the minutes how they run, 

How many make the hour full complete; 

How many hours bring about the day; 

How many days will finish up the year; 

How many years a mortal man may live. 

When this is known, then to divide the times: 

So many hours must I tend my flock; 

So many hours must I take my rest; 

So many hours must I contemplate; 

So many hours must I sport myself; 

So many days my ewes have been with young; 

So many weeks ere the poor fools will ean: 

So many years ere I shall shear the fleece: 

So minutes, hours, days, months, and years, 

Pass’d over to the end they were created, 

Would bring white hairs unto a quiet grave. 

Ah, what a life were this! how sweet! how lovely! 

Gives not the hawthorn-bush a sweeter shade 

To shepherds looking on their silly sheep, 

Than doth a rich embroider’d canopy 

To kings that fear their subjects’ treachery? 

O, yes, it doth; a thousand-fold it doth. 

And to conclude, the shepherd’s homely curds, 

His cold thin drink out of his leather bottle. 

His wonted sleep under a fresh tree’s shade, 

All which secure and sweetly he enjoys, 

Is far beyond a prince’s delicates, 

His viands sparkling in a golden cup, 

His body couched in a curious bed, 

When care, mistrust, and treason waits on him.

(William Shakespeare. Henry VI Part III: Act II, Scene V)

Also a beautifull and powerfull speech, if a bit revealing of a romanticized view of the poverty that Henry VI never lived. And also a lie, or, at least, a half truth for Henry VI himself.

By contrast to the Molehill Speech, here is the dialogue exchange between him and two keepers, in the next act:

Second Keeper

Say, what art thou that talk'st of kings and queens?

Henry VI

More than I seem, and less than I was born to: A man at least, for less I should not be; And men may talk of kings, and why not I?

Second Keeper

Ay, but thou talk'st as if thou wert a king.

Henry VI

Why, so I am, in mind; and that's enough.

Second Keeper   

But, if thou be a king, where is thy crown?

Henry VI

My crown is in my heart, not on my head; Not decked with diamonds and Indian stones, Nor to be seen: my crown is called content: A crown it is that seldom kings enjoy.

Second Keeper

Well, if you be a king crown'd with content, Your crown content and you must be contented To go along with us; for as we think, You are the king King Edward hath deposed; And we his subjects sworn in all allegiance Will apprehend you as his enemy. 

Henry VI

But did you never swear, and break an oath?

Second Keeper

No, never such an oath; nor will not now.

Henry VI

Where did you dwell when I was King of England?

Second Keeper

Here in this country, where we now remain.

Henry VI

I was anointed king at nine months old; My father and my grandfather were kings, And you were sworn true subjects unto me: And tell me, then, have you not broke your oaths?

First Keeper. 

No; For we were subjects but while you were king.

Henry VI

Why, am I dead? do I not breathe a man Ah, simple men, you know not what you swear! Look, as I blow this feather from my face, And as the air blows it to me again, Obeying with my wind when I do blow, And yielding to another when it blows, Commanded always by the greater gust; Such is the lightness of you common men.

(William Shakespeare. Henry VI Part III: Act III, Scene I)

We can perceive here a condescending tone that King Henry VI has when he talks with two members of the people. He is surprised to see that they don’t believe in a divine right that gives him a “natural kingly aura”. They don’t see him as a superior, wise and benevolent saviour, but only as a man who once weared a crown, but now, without the crown, they don’t have any obligation to obey him. 

And Henry VI can’t accept that.

Later, he is rescued by Clifford, Warwick and Clarence from imprisoment under King Edward IV’s rule. And when those three man offer him back the crown and title of king, he don’t refuse it to live the simple commoner life he described as more beautifull in the Molehill Speech. He accepts it. Even if he intends to let the actual work of ruling to Warwick, Clarence and Queen Margaret, he still wants the sense of superiority, the privileges and the confortable life offered by the title of king that he grew accustomed to since he was nine months old.

By justaposing those speeches and scenes, Shakespeare pulls us of the rug in our view of those two characters, who want the people to believe they are good, heroic and chivalrous kings, anointed by God himself, when in reality what anoints them is their money and their armies.

Intentionally or not, with those plays, Shakespeare was at the same being a precursor and subvertor of the Relatable Royal Trope, showing that those people with the title of kings are like us... but not really.

They feel sadness, fear, anger, love, envy and jealousie like us, but they are more rich, powerfull and privileged then us.And they don’t really  want to renounce that power, because it will take away their sense of being superior to us.

To paraphrase Kyle Kalgreen: 

Beware pretty speeches

(Kyle Kalgreen. Brows Held High: This Day is Called the Feast of Crispian, a review of Laurence Olivier’s Henry V. October 26th, 2018)

Specially if they come from a person that wears the crown of a king.