#And communicate. Idk where this is even going I just think a lot of people have a genuinely fucked sense of communication

[be-good-be-safe-be-kind]

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no one's really asked, and i don't really like telling people about the different parts, but i do tend default to basics like these circles bc idk really how else to explain. and also i'm almost always on the fence with if i even have DID or not, even with all the symptoms and conversations with therapist and evaluators and 'proofs' after social events and stuff where hearing what happened, the reaction of 'i would not do that' and stuff.

approximate age and gender is the 'easiest' to pinpoint, since my overall concept of gender is just -shrug-, and gender presentation i don't really think about but there are things like 'oh this one likes when the hair is in a ponytail' or 'this one prefers short shorts to basketball shorts' (and someone else is the opposite in that regard), which might be easier to explain as gender for the sake of simplicity. age is more like a 'grade' level than an age, or a 'group' like anywhere under 5, or somewhere between 5 and 7/early schooling. 12ish to early/middle teenager, or vague age between 14 and 18. a couple of 'adults' with nothing more to go on except as a kid, they're whatever i guess i though an adult was like, and they're anywhere between always 5ish years above me or just 'adult'.

temperament and likes/dislikes, or interests/disinterests is a bit trickier, but this blog does help. i scroll through the dash and random blogs and sometimes things just stand out as someone's, so they get tagged and drafted, and then i use the drafts as a dash and if i feel like whoever and see something at the time, it usually gets posted then. the thing is though, idk even if i am them at the time or what the deal is but sometimes interests just 'speak' to me or not-me and i want it archived/ timestamped for that time. and also led to a bit of a panic attack a while ago where the ocean/waves sometimes feels more like a part than an interest, like there's more of a person attached to it kinda in the [ws] way and not in ways like with toys or tv.

the blue circle with the layers is a really helpful diagram bc i also am not usually thinking or feeling distinct. i mean i can recognize some distinctions like right now i'm able to use personal pronouns and complete sentences and not worry about how grammatically incorrect they are, which sorta points to a certain part/feeling/mode but idk. idk if this is more conscious or subconscious but i am aware of it right now and how these things aren't 'universal' / collective / communal things, but idk really what to do with that. i don't think it matters much, as long as i'm this 'awake' or whatever and know where i am and what's happening. the problem is more when there's awareness of distinctions but mostly confusion, like the times when i almost literally can't speak, like it feels physically impossible, and can't really move either and sorta wait it out or until i guess the other subconscious parts push forward more and break out of that mode?

life usually is kinda rainbow-y and blurry. although i have my circle kinda the opposite of this diagram i think, where the conscious layer is the outermost circle and the innermost one is unconscious, bc i feel like most of the time things move from the inside out than outside in? or like, there's a lot of unconscious stuff all the time, but maybe it sorta blurs with the subconscious, which then moves closer to consciousness/what presents to me and others/what i guess i look like on the outside. idk. i just know that language like 'fronting' confuses me bc i don't think i ever know who is the one entirely 'facing' the world.

and now i'm running out of steam and getting brain foggy so gonna call it a day with this one

I made a thing that’s entirely based off personal experience.

For all the people who struggle to figure out “who’s fronting” or even “who’s around”…I’m right there with you.

[DID/OSDD Casually Explained Masterpost]

[celestie0]

hi my friends! hope you're all doing well. just wanted to come on here and share a little updates w you guys (if you're still here lol)

i guess it's been like a month n a half since i formally went on hiatus, and it's been nice! i got kinda sick for a little bit lmfaooo which was tough to manage w school, but i'm better now

although i took time away from my blog, i still delved in writing here n there. i haven't written anything for kickoff since tbh i'm in such a slump w it. but i still have big plans for stuff that happens after ch13, so hopefully i can just push through this next chapter and get to a better place. thanks so much to anyone that is still interested in the story, it means a lot to me. i know i'm so slow w updates and the story has been going on for almost a year now, but the continued support is so sweet! even though i didn't work on writing it these past one n a half months, i still really love it and plan to finish it.

i'm not sure if many people remember that i had this sort of "apocalypse" gojo x reader au about an asteroid being set to hit the earth in three days, and reader n gojo are ex lovers n the impending end of the world makes them break no-contact...yeah i finished writing the first chapter for it and i really love it so far! it's like set in new york which is really fun haha i love stories where new york is kind of its own "character" if that makes sense...it will definitely be a limited series w only 4 chapters or so, but i kinda wanna finish all 4 chapters before i start posting it bc i don't want it to be a drawn out series in terms of posting since i think it'd be best enjoyed in frequent succession if that makes sense

as for ihm, i think i wrote the most for ihm during my hiatus. i finished three chapters for it, but they are shorter chapters (around 3-4k words). i kinda realized one of my biggest reasons for burnout w my fics were the reaaaaallly long chapters...like didn't i have a 22k chapter for kickoff or sumn lol. idk i can't remember. but anyways, yeah the mindset behind the longer chapters was bc i liked each chapter to kinda have its own conflict, build up, tension then resolution in a sense. but it was exhausting to write that way tbh lol. so i think moving forward, for ihm, i will have shorter chapters. i just don't wanna think to much about things anymore, and write from my heart, bc i have a lot of things planned for ihm, and among the criticism i've received for my writing choices vs my own vision for the story, i've realized during my hiatus that the only way i can finish ihm, or any of my storeis for that matter, is if i just.........stop giving a fuck about it. lol idk if that sounds strange to say, but like, i don't want to over-edit anything. i don't want to think too much about redundancy. i don't want to flower things up or cut stuff out. i'm at the point where imma just write a first draft, check for grammarly errors, and then post it. i guess the reason i'm sharing this is because idk if this means that people may enjoy my writing less since i will admittedly be spending much less time on it than i did before, but tbh i realized i find the most joy while i'm writing, and not while i'm editing. so i want to spend as little time on the latter as possible, and if that changes the quality of my work, then so be it.

anyways, hmm as for hiatus. i guess i'm off hiatus now? i really enjoyed being off of tumblr tbh this app has a lot of questionable content at times (esp in jjk community) and it also did wonders for my studying bc i wasn't spending time doomscrolling or shit posting anymore lmfaooo. but as for writing in particular, i think i will start to post ihm again exclusively. i can't say anything about kickoff or my other projects, but i feel comfortable to start posting ihm again.

sorry, i know that i have kept my replies and ask box off for a long time. but i will open them again once i start posting chapters because i really miss interacting with you guys.

anywho, these are my updates lol i'm like not sure how many of my readers are still here or which ones have moved on but that's ok, i'm grateful to anyone n everyone. hope to see you all soon again!

[yeta-drewit]

GUYS IM LITERALLY TWEAKING WHY DO PEOPLE NOT BELIEVE ENID IS INTENTIONALLY A QUEER ANALOGY?! MY GIRL WAS GOING TO BE SENT TO CONVERSION THERAPY THATS LIKE VERY MUCH ON THE NOSE. Like idk maybe I’m giving the show too much credit but I genuinely think it had to be on purpose, there is no way no one in the entire process of pre production went like “guys maybe we shouldn’t say that because it sounds like a gay allegory and that’s not what we are going for”.

Like I’m currently in a college English class and my teacher has me analyzing the smallest of shit so language is very important. I’m also a film major and I can tell you this type of things are not a quick process with small groups of people, this is a whole ass process. So excuse me when I don’t believe they didn’t notice what they were doing with Enid. I genuinely believe Enid IS a queer analogy and that it wasn’t just a coincidence. LANGUAGE IS IMPORTANT IN ANY MEDIA. And I feel is specially necessary in a show where characters are known for being unable to simply express what they mean, Wednesday is always saying shit between the lines. Like I feel like people forget that language and wording is not simple and meaningless, like guys the curtains being blue is meant to symbolize something. Everything within a show or a book is meticulously written to enhance a story and yeah maybe shitty media doesn’t do that but I have faith in the Wednesday show, SPECIALLY considering that cinematography wise the show is very good.

THIS WASN’T A SLIP UP THIS IS GENUINELY WHAT THE SHOW WANTED YOU TO THINK. They want you to understand Enid through the eyes of a queer analogy, you are meant to sympathize with this girl because she is going through the same misery as a lot of gay people. YOU ARE MEANT TO SEE HER STORY AND THINK OF QUEER PEOPLE.

Also the show in general has a lot of analogies and metaphors related to minorities, it wouldn’t be far fetched to think they also have queer analogies. Like for the universe sake guys we had Goody literally being an indigenous person during the genocide of colonialism. THERE WAS LITERALLY A RACIST PILGRIM. The whole outcast community in the show is meant to serve as an analogy for minorities. THE ADDAMS FAMILY ACROSS MEDIA HAS BEEN AN ANALOGY FOR BEING DIFFERENT IN A WHITE SUBURBAN CENTER SOCIETY. It’s not far fetched to think the queer community (A MINORITY) would also have some representation within the show.

Conclusion: Enid is very intentionally a queer analogy and I really hope the show would continue on this analogy even after she finally wolfs out (I’m a blood wolf believer, there is no way they won’t play around with the idea she literally transformed under a blood moon, cause if you pay attention there is no other werewolves in the scenes so they are either cheap or it was a curious detail that Enid is still not a “normal” wolf)

Okay side note after posting this I’ve realized that I’m missing one point and that is the fact the analogies aren’t good. I can admit the show Wednesday is not the best and quite frankly is far from it but I do believe it shouldn’t stop me from thinking of it more critically (or as critically as I can get). But I think my point still stands that it is a very obvious analogy and taking it as accidental is forgetting a part of Enids character.

Also yes I know Tim Burton is KNOWN for lacking diversity and he would likely not make a gay character but I feel people forget he is not the sole person in charge of this show, he can hate minorities all he wants but it takes only one person in that writing room to create the gaynesss that is Enid.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[thousandyearphantombunker]

"just give them an aac device!"

"just teach them sign language"

"body language and facial expressions alone are good enough for communicating what you need"

Nonononono f*!k off. Stop acting like nonverbal people have easy solutions to their lack of verbality. Not everyone can use an aac device- some people struggle with spelling or can't spell at all, some people have motor skills issues that makes typing a nightmare that takes a long time, some can't articulate themselves without outside help. Learning sign is hard if you again have motor skills issues or struggle to make facial expressions that convey what your feeling (flat affect applies to more than just a person's voice- some people really struggle to make facial expressions and have stilted or strange body language- you people can understand why autistic people get burnt out from masking all day- you know often having to control their body language and make certain facial expressions etc yet you can't understand why nonverbal autistics can't just learn sign- a language very heavy on facial expressions and expressive body language?) also again spelling and motor skill issues are a pain and also a lot of families with deaf or nonverbal children refuse to learn sign for said children and I'm sorry in day to day life I haven't met many people who speak sign- yeah you can move to a community with a lot of deaf or nonverbal people that use sign but that's not always possible and its very limiting. And do I even have to explain the third one- autistic body language is confusing to neurotypicals and I hate the stereotype that its just so blunt and obvious/better than neurotypical communication- maybe that's what its like for you and your 'smart sheldon cooper/Wednesday Addams' style autism but not every autistic person 'says exactly what they mean' often times autistic people struggle with semantics and articulating sentences that make any sense! and all these misunderstandings surrounding stimming are annoying to!- spinning can be a 'happy' stim but it can also mean your overwhelmed or understimulated, a lot of people with autism have voices that lack inflections, mix that in with being unable to use words and no it does not help communicate their needs- f!*k off with acting like its easy not all autistic people who are nonverbal can spell, not all autistic people w are nonverbal have good motor skills and body language alone is never enough to convey a persons needs. Before anyone comes after me yes Sign is body language but its also actual symbols and can convey full thoughts and ideas and sentences and also body language is hard for a lot of autistic people to convey like stated above.

Not every form autistic communication is being 'logical' and unoffended because 'we're just more logical than those superfluous, shallow neurotypicals that let their feelings control them and are never direct about what they want-we value facts and logic unlike those butthurt neurotypicals' and being overly blunt- no a lot of autistic people find that communication is messy and the ways they can communicate are ineffective and your 'logical, facts dont care about your feelings' style of communication isn't as amazing as you think it is. Stop speaking over nonverbal autistics- their is no real perfect solution to them not being able to speak. And I'm gonna say it- while not all nonverbal people are low functioning or high support needs or whatever the new term is-being nonverbal is a massive disadvantage and having your disability be visible like that is scary in many situations and being unable to communicate your needs can make it impossible to meet your needs-

[quinn-pop]

happy Valentine’s Day remember to tell your favorite friendly penguin you love him

if you don’t have one of those then a friend is fine i guess :/

(kidding. go hug your friends <3)

[britneyshakespeare]

you know someday i'm gonna feel so good when i have my student loans paid off

that ain't gonna be soon, trust me, but i think about it

[bibleofficial]

where is my fat husband

[millionsknives]

genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry

[lampregistration3000]

I hate being probably schizophrenic I really hate it here

[floralovebot]

Yknow, I may be beating a dead horse here, but I really hate it when people think Helia was the one in the wrong in the Shaab Stone arc in the comics. And listen, I know what this sounds like - I'm not saying he did nothing wrong just because he's my special blorbo. I'm saying it because he genuinely wasn't in the wrong here.

I think a lot of people immediately assume Riven's right and Helia's wrong because Riven's heart was in the right place. He wasn't acting out to be a dick; everything he did was done with the intention of doing the right thing. Which, compared to the first season, is a huge leap for Riven, especially on missions. He used to goad Sky and the others a lot, and then there was the entire escapade with Darcy. So for Riven to be So Confident about doing the Right thing, it comes off as him genuinely being correct and Helia being completely wrong, especially when the mission goes south.

But like,,, the thing is,,, the mission literally only went south because of what Riven did. That's not to say that he was Morally Wrong because he wasn't. But he was stubborn and impulsive. He wasn't thinking about the consequences or how likely they actually would've succeeded against the bad guys, he was thinking about wanting to stop them and that's it. Helia was right about them being outnumbered and overpowered, and he was right about them needing backup (the thing that literally saved Riven and Timmy when they got caught). But Riven was so consumed with wanting to act Now that he didn't stop to think about how it actually would've played out.

And I think the most important thing in this discussion, is that Riven didn't hate Helia. He still disliked and didn't trust Sky and was using Helia as a scapegoat. Literally everything he says to and about Helia is just everything he's been thinking and saying about Sky. And that's not because Sky and Helia are the same, it's because they're in similar enough positions that Riven feels uneasy about it. Like of course he doesn't trust Helia at first! He's the grandson of the headmaster and that same headmaster made him the leader of a mission when he's never been the leader with them before. It's pretty natural that Riven wouldn't immediately be on board with that.

But again, Riven didn't hate Helia for any reason that Helia himself caused. It was all about hating nepotism and classism and thinking that Helia was going to be another Sky. And it really didn't help that besides Flora, Sky was the Only person actually defending Helia.

I think it's really important to take note of how Riven treats and thinks of Helia after they make up. Riven is able to put all of it behind him and starts to genuinely respect Helia's thoughts. That would not have happened if Helia was the one who made the mistake. And I think that's clear in how Riven thinks of Sky after they "make up". Sky never apologizes for his actions nor does he ever take the blame for anything that happened with Riven. And Riven knows this!! If Helia had made such a big mistake and then never apologized for it, Riven wouldn't be as chill with him as he is later on. This is also pretty evident in how Riven starts to really like Timmy and respect him as a specialist - Timmy never did anything to him.

Ik this is a pretty small thing but the Shaab Stone arc is such good material for Rivelia as friends and as individuals. It says a lot about both of them! Riven just wants to do the right thing but he can get really impulsive about doing it. Helia wants to do the right thing but hates conflict and refuses to communicate properly with his team. They're both able to understand why the other acted the way they did and start to actually like and respect each other afterward.

It's just... good intentions do not equal good actions. Riven himself is able to admit this and he gets a lot better about thinking of an actual plan and not just rushing head first into things later on in the series. Riven's growth as a specialist and teammate is super important as it directly ties into his growth as a person! Idk it just really bothers me when people look at Riven being a stubborn and impulsive specialist and think that's Good. Even in a fictional setting, a military soldier acting like that is not a Cool Thing. And in this fictional character analysis setting, it's a very literal example of Riven needing to grow as a person (ie needing to trust others, needing to slow down and think for a minute, needing to communicate properly Without acting like a dick about it).

(I didn't know how to fit this in but the only mistake Helia makes is how he communicates with the specialists. He's a good leader and he knew what to do, but he wasn't good at expressing it or trying to quell their valid concerns. But in terms of the actual mission itself, he did fine and it would've worked out if Riven hadn't acted too soon and on his own. This was 100% a moment of them learning how to be better teammates and how to trust one another more.)

[binx0r]

Legit question: would it be weird to tell someone

“It makes me happy to know you exist”

Bc like… that’s a sentiment I feel a lot esp when I don’t have the ability to interact as much as I’d like to with people but I see them living their lives and it gives me deeply good feelings

Like regardless of whether we cross paths I know you well enough to appreciate you’re part of the universe and that fact brings me joy

Like is that inappropriate in any way?

[cluescorner]

I doubt they would survive a day in their own communities. Like, have y’all ever interacted with LGBTQ+ people IRL?? It’s really cool. Genuinely was a wonderful experience for me. Met someone who went by it/its pronouns because it saw that as the only way to distance itself from the demand to fit into boxes implanted on it by humanity. Met someone who goes by any pronouns and faer does that for the exact same reason as the person above. He and it were besties, hearing their discussions on gender was really fucking cool. Made me question my gender, I found out I’m cis but it was still a good experience. More relevant to this post, you’ve also got a pack of wild lesbians who congregated once while I was volunteering: me the young’un (cis, she/her, femme lesbian, has sensory issues with penetration of any kind but isn’t ace), an elder lesbian (bacla, she/he/siya (no preference but one of those) likes penetrative and non-penetrative sex), and a lesbian roughly between our ages (trans, she/her, about 4 months into socially transitioning, asexual). We’re just...talking about being lesbians and our differing experiences. It’s great, we taught each other a lot in the day we knew each other! Siya helped teach me about ways to explore myself and my preferences without triggering any averse reactions, I helped the trans lesbian vibe with wanting to be more gender conforming and traditionally ‘feminine’ (teaching trans femmes the joys of spinning around in frilly dresses is so nice), and she helped our elder get caught up with modern gay news. We left our stations and I’ve never seen either of them again, but this shit is so fun and so much better than arguing with randos about whether or not they ‘count’ as a lesbian. Imagine if I did what tiktok does and spent that whole time saying that our elder couldn’t be a lesbian because siya doesn’t strictly identify as a femme-aligned person or that the trans lesbian was teaching him about the ‘wrong’ gay news because most of it involved ‘bad rep’. Say what you want about cheesy cishet friendly romcom fodder, but seeing my elder beam at the idea that non-LGBTQ+ people cared about our stories on a large scale made that mediocre movie worth existing. IDK, people need to get involved in their communities (online or offline) and meet gay people outside of their immediate bubble. 

TLDR; I’m 90% sure people involved in gay discourse have never actually spent time around gay people outside of their immediate bubble and that makes me sad. Talk to people y’all, it’s great. 10/10, would recommend. 

people on tiktok would never survive a day on tumblr

[2soft2sensitive]

”we should plant fruit trees by the sidewalk” bro have you ever been within fifteen feet of a fruit tree on a hot summer day? the stench of rotting fruit is awful (and no, you can’t pick every single fruit off the thing, it will inevitably drop some of the fruit and it will not all be suitable to eat)

not to mention dropped fruit creates tripping hazards, and can be difficult for ppl with mobility aids to navigate.

and not to mention the bugs it attracts. stinging insects are not fun to have so close to where people are walking, especially when those insects include bees, since there are ppl that are deathly allergic

like. idk y’all. I know it sounds so nice on paper but you gotta think about this logistically. who is gonna clean up the rotting fruit? you can hire people, but they’re not always gonna be around all the time— and who is going to pay them?

you can have the locals clean it up, but inevitably people will shirk their duties— no one wants to clean up stinky ass fruit with bugs all over it, so they will put it off, hoping someone else will come in and do it for them

and then the fighting over whose job it is and who isn’t pulling their weight will be insane. people absolutely love getting in stupid fights for stupid reasons

because as much as people have the capacity to be kind and caring and take care of each other, they can also be petty and selfish and spiteful. you have to plan for both!!

so yeah, idk. anytime someone says that about the fruit trees I just kinda assume they haven’t really thought any of their ideas through. 😅

[neverendingford]

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[thepandalion]

Attempted to leave the fandom after being made incredibly uncomfortable about it in late 2023 but also just remembered a specific line from a specific episode and now I'm going feral again