#I /LIKE/ writing about characters figuring out how to communicate directly. that is genuinely a fun thing for me to think about.

[musical-chick-13]

I know the point of "Don't have your characters use therapy-speak" is "Don't put dialogue in your story that makes things seem stilted/breaks immersion for the purpose of proving that This Isn't Actually An Unhealthy Situation, I Promise Guys," but nonetheless it is starting to give me a complex over writing these characters like. Communicating. Just at all.

[bengiyo]

Framboise (played by Kaji Masaki) is probably my favorite side character of 2022. In a year of great older queer men in genre, from Mork’s uncles Cheep and Dej in My Ride to Uncle Man in 21 Days Theory, I’m so glad we got Framboise as well. In Framboise we see a self-actualized gay man that literally lights up the room with his energy. He is what I aspire to be in a gay elder.

When Framboise first appears, it is in a burst of sunlight and flowers as he enters the convention floor. He’s excited to see other creators, and thrilled to be near another queer creator who he’s clearly admired for a long time. Framboise is determined to get Nekoyashiki to join them at the after party for other queer artists. Though he’s constantly rebuffed (and expresses his frustration vocally), he doesn’t give up on or abandon Nekoyashiki.

Framboise, like any sort of manga/anime character, has a clear and specific style. What I love so much about him is that he is more indicative of what so many gay men actually look like. We have facial hair. Some of us are chubby. We like for our clothes to fit well. So much of what I love about Framboise’s style is how it fits with his physicality.

His joy when he moves around is about being in the space with everyone. He’s not flashing his clothes to impress others; those are the clothes that make him feel most like himself. It’s such a joy to see a heavy-set character happy and comfortable in his skin in a BL, especially one that’s older.

Like many of us, Framboise thrives on queer community so much that he takes any offerings of kindness from Mamoru for the big deals that they are. He was so surprised in the middle of the series that he was overwhelmed with love and fell down. Like many of us, we can all appreciate the attention of an attractive younger man, and yet it mostly stops at play.

In the finale, we get to see Mamoru finally relax himself enough to be open to Framboise, and can finally receive directly the unconditional love of another queer person who cares about you. It’s big and it’s joyous and it is offered in behind the back hug that takes you off your feet.

Framboise isn’t happy for Mamoru because of specific success (exemplified by Takkun), he’s happy that Mamoru finally drew something he was happy with. As a queer elder, it’s such a joy to see a baby gay figure themself out and finally appear comfortable in their skin; conversely, Framboise displays how genuine appreciation for being seen earnestly. Mamoru knows that he’s appreciated.

As we reflect on the future of BL, I will be writing about Cheep, Dej, Man, and Framboise again, because this was the first year that queer elders really contributed to my enjoyment of the genre. I hope Framboise is the beginning of us seeing older queers having joyous lives in our dramas.

Special thanks to @liyazaki​ for creating these gifs for me so I could share my love of this character with you all.

[bastetwastaken]

Character intro: Aviditas/ Avi

"The desires of the heart are powerful, they can lead to both ecstasy and ruin. Lucky for you, I’m an expert in both."

His head rolled to the side as he was overcome with fatigue, but instead of finding an empty room, his eyes fell on a figure sat perched on the back of his sofa. He couldn't work out what it was exactly… some sort of bird…human…goat thing. Maybe he was hallucinating in his final moments. He frowned, trying to focus on the creature he thought he could see but his vision was blurry. "Aw, not gone yet, hm?" The strange figure spoke as it crossed its arms, dark feathered wings fluttering behind it. "That's okay, I can wait." That captivating voice certainly sounded human, but he couldn't understand why whoever was here had so many extra non-human parts. He squinted at it, lifting his head slowly for a better look. The things wings spread out behind it, framing a beautiful human looking figure perfectly. Wait, was this an angel? Had it come to take him to whatever came next? His lips parted and he tried to speak but it hurt his throat and all that came out was a harsh whisper. "What are you?" A smooth chuckle reached his ears and he found himself fixated on the creature before him. It tilted its head and said nothing as for a moment, it simply…watched him. "A Demon, of course." The other said with a smile, unsettlingly sharp teeth on full display. "I was here to finish you off, but it looks like you've done my job for me, I owe you one." A wink. "Come find me in Hell when you get settled in, hm? I'll show you a good time as a thank you~"

The need to know basics:

Age: Around 4786

Pronouns: Any pronouns, demons have no gender so Avi will simply conform to human perceptions of gender subject to his needs.

Sexuality: Yes. Personality: - Talkative - Flirty - Outgoing - Charismatic - Excitable Occupation: - Incubus/succubus. - Entertainer at an adult club on earth

Habits/Mannerisms: - Very lose morals (if he even knows what morals are) - Carries a small notebook with them which contains strange symbols and he writes in it periodically, especially when he hears something interesting. - Often blunt, but not in a harsh way just in the way that he sees things in a simplified way mostly. - Can get very excitable over new interesting things. - Draws people to him. - Able to talk his way out of almost anything.

Background: - Aviditas is a Latin name which means longing, desire, lust. It was given to him just after his creation. - Avi was never human, instead he is a hell born Incubus. He’s never been alive, or known an existence before that he has now. - Life in hell for them isn’t exactly easy. They are expected to do whatever their master says, without question, and he has done this for a long time. - Before a human changes the way he see's the world, he's never had many aspirations and always accepted the way things are as how they should be, but once his mind is opened, he's not sure he can ever go back to blind obediance...

Avi’s demonology comes from the representation of demons in both Christianity and Hebrew text.

Demons are essentially angels who failed to follow gods instructions, they’re not always inherently evil, more independent actors that aren’t so different from a human in terms of actual morality. However, some demons have their own agenda and can be tempted by primal desires, whilst others are directly influenced by the demons in charge in Hell and actively serve those demons' agendas.

There are demons who worship god, demons who are genuinely good-they’re just very quiet about it.

Avi speaks, reads and writes Enochian, (an occult constructed language which is spoken by angels and demons and other celestial entities, thought to be the first language of christ.) but since his job relies on communication he can also speak any human language as if it’s his own. It’s kind of like the Allspeak of the gods in Norse mythology. He does struggle to read though, often relying on text to speech to use modern technology, and he cannot write any human language. He’s never needed to learn how. Anyone not of angelic/demonic origin won’t be able to understand Enochian, it’s just not able to be perceived by the human mind. It will be possible to see the symbols though if Avi writes them out.

So he’s a demon, but what can Avi actually do?

Only certain kinds of demons can possess people. Avi cannot possess a person or an animal, but he can take their form and mimic them perfectly if he knows enough about them.

For Avi's power to fully work, he has to create a moment of weakness in the target. This is often easy for him to do through temptation. Once the person accepts him, invites him in, or falls for his charm then he is able to use his power on them.

Avis power will make even the lightest of touches feel intense to someone, everything with him will feel so much better than it ever has done with any other person. This is so he can create a stronger desire in someone and therefore have more Lust to feed on.

He can hypnotise his prey to make sure they don’t fully realise what he is. At any point he can blur the lines a little and make the person think he’s just a regular human who’s very good at what he’s doing. This is why he isn’t worried about showing his demonic features even in human form although generally if he’s out in public or doing his human job, he will keep his horns and wings hidden but he likes those things about himself so is reluctant to do so.

Avi can create obsession in a person, it’s a kind of defence mechanism and survival trait. He can make someone willing to protect him, fight for him, keep him safe from other threats to the point where they will willingly die for him. He can make them act impulsively, take risks they might not have done before and even change their personality entirely.

He can create obsession by visiting a person frequently, being intimate with them often and imprinting on them so they feel unable to live without him. He makes them feel like they desperately need him around, and this suits him fine when he needs to secure longer term food or has to hide from something. It will not be clear to the person under his spell what’s going on, but his spell can be broken by his own choice or by force if the right methods are used. (Avi will not be able to do this to a person who’s heart already belongs to another). Obsession can also occur accidentally if Avi is not careful to detach himself from a person.

Avi can sometimes become attached to a human. He tries not to do this, but if it does happen then Avi will become the irrational one. He’ll swear to protect the person, risk his own life to do so and may also stop feeding off others in favour of spending time with the person. - It’s more like an addiction for Avi though than actual feelings, he just follows his instinct which tells him he needs that person and can’t let them go.

Demons have mates, but Avi has not yet found one. He doubts he ever will find one, but this also means that he can accidentally imprint on humans he feeds on and bond with them, although the bonding part has to be consensual. It would be possible for a human to become Avi’s mate, but that would probably have its own issues due to the fact Avi is immortal and if a demon loses their mate, they cease to exist.

Avi can heal himself easily and can even heal others of simple things if he likes them enough. He can also take pain away with his touch and closeness. He has a very high pain tolerance too, it takes a lot to really hurt him.

His saliva acts as an aphrodisiac.

He can sense the true nature of a soul if he chooses to (although he'll likely only do this when it suits his purpose cause it takes effort)

------

Avi is one of the main characters of my fantasy romance between a demon and the human they accidentally saved from death.

The above image was created with Picrew’s “♡ doshi's oc avatar maker ♡“ Link is in the image

[paragonrobits]

Hobbes, from Calvin And Hobbes, has always been one of my all time favorite characters. Including Kirby and Yoshi, he's one of the earliest characters I hyper-fixated on that I am AWARE of having done that. There's probably a lot of interpretations to be made from that. Along with Vivi (Final Fantasy 9) and Knuckles (Sonic the Hedgehog), he's a character that lives in my brain so long and so ferociously that most of my online persona used Hobbes-Vivi-Knuckles as an acronym just because i liked them so much

so, naturally, when i eventually went to fanfic ideas, Hobbes poses a few unique challenges as a character to focus on.

Most specifically is that Hobbes' ambiguous nature makes it difficult to really figure out how he interacts with others. He does do it, in his own strange way. Part of his source material's dynamic, however, is that we see everything through Calvin's lens of perspective. When Hobbes does stuff, its done filtered through Calvin's perspective.

(This also makes C&H a fantastic training for the concept of the unreliable narrator, not as a negative concept or villifying the viewpoint character, but simply stating that their POV is not necessarily what Really Happened, in an objective sense, or that there is even a concept of objective-ness at all, but that's besides the point.)

So how exactly do you write a character who specifically is always interacting with one viewpoint character, who has thoughts and feelings and independent action, and has his own perspective, but is always specifically linked to another person? We know what he SAYS, and what he DOES, and how those infer character and perspective, but because he almost never really does things unrelated to Calvin himself, it makes it hard to figure out additional aspects of his character that would be simply in other stories.

One obvious way to change things up is to drop the differing reality perspective gimmick and make Hobbes just a tiger-thing that lives there. I think, back in the day, this was a pretty common fanfic approach, and perhaps not coincidentally also leaned very hard to giving them an explicitly brotherly relationship, or outright had Hobbes adopted by Calvin's parents. This opens up some things, but the central problem remains:

how exactly do you write new aspects of his character, or find innovative elements WITHIN his canonical character, when a lot about him is simply inferred by what he says and does with Calvin, and not always in a way that communicates character in an explicitly true way?

This, funnily enough, makes him not dissimilar to Homestuck's characters. One of Homestuck's particular quirks is that the story is communicated primarily through conversation logs between characters, and brief narration from a viewpoint character OR an omniscient narrator. A key point here is that we, again, hear what they say and do, but we do not see things directly from their perspective. This means that just about EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER is an unreliable narrator. We can infer things, but it can be very difficult to work out what they think and feel based on WHAT they say but you can't always take it at face value.

You must, instead, analyze what they say and do and determine how much of it is their own persona vs it being authentic in some way. This is harder for some characters than others; for instance, when Terezi plays with a mock trial that ends in her hanging a plush toy, is this just another example of the brutality of her culture that even her imagination is violent? Is she a brutal, draconian pseudo-lawyer that looks for opportunitiess to indulge her bloodlust with the flimsiest of excuses?

Or, as I think, is the fact that she is doing this to a senator (an assuredly high position, presuming it even exists in her world), over embezzlement (a crime that, given her world's brutal nature, probably isn't seen as a crime at all), a hidden sign that she is more genuinely Good than she believes herself to be, as this is about making someone face punishment for an abuse of power? Her being more noble at heart than her self-doubt lets her believe?

Hobbes works in a similar way. Through his interactions with Calvin, we can infer a few things about him. He's very philosophical, much like Calvin. Unlike Calvin, if things are bad, he simply accepts them and tries to deal with it as best they can rather than raging against it. He's mischievous, playful, has a vindictive streak that flares up before it cools down, he's a LOT more openly whimsical than Calvin ("WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING COOL IF YOU CAN'T WEAR A SOMBRERO" says Hobbes). He is not nearly as pessimistic about the nature of people as his real life inspiration, but he clearly sees humans as colletively taking the world to Hell in a handbasket but in a melancholy 'I suppose this is how the world is' sort of way.

Part of all this is that, at his core, he IS a tiger. His nature informs his character in a way not exactly common to comic strip characters that are talking animals or animal-like beings; he's fierce, food-motivated and doesn't really sweat the small stuff. He's not disinterested in the tragedy of the world, and indeed in some way he functions as a moral compass of sorts, but he doesn't really agonize about it. This even informs his character design; his very long body, proportionately short legs and long arms make him look charmingly odd, but when he moves on all fours its surprisingly realistic, and his proportions look the way they do because its basically what a tiger WOULD look like if they could stand up without any other alterations.

[angelsdean]

hi!! i've spent the better part of my morning browsing through some of your tags, and i just wanted to tell you how much i enjoy you posting about young dean / queer dean and how it makes me so genuinely happy to read your thoughts on the matter (that i generally completely agree with btw). dean being well aware of his sexuality from the start is one of the most important aspects of the show for me at the moment.

i don't want to write a whole poem in your inbox but i am having so many Thoughts! my personal interpretation is that dean had already pretty much come to terms with his sexuality pre stanford era, and was actively and deliberately seeking dudes in his late teens (esp when he was away from sam and john and maybe had a chance to feel more free and unrestrained). i completely understand why people look at him and think '🫵 repressed' (i did too) but to me its so much more interesting and compelling and it adds so much more to his character to imagine him growing into his queer identity so comfortably (i love to think that, despite eveything, there was a part of himself that he didn't completely hate or reject, does this make sense?). also as you said, being repressed is def not the only reason why a person might have to suppress/not be loud about their sexuality. we don't talk about this nearly enough!! i NEED to read headcanons and fics and metas and see art about young queer dean!

hi Mila! oh wow thank you so much 💖 young queer Dean is so important to me too!

I love Stanford Era so much because it's really this time where I see Dean being at his most free, but also most lonely. And I think he's trying to make connections, and trying new things, and really getting to be. And I also love the idea of teen Dean carving out these pockets for himself too, when John is away, or when Dean gets sent away :( :( :(

I think Dean started figuring out pretty early on that he was "different." I wrote this little fic a while back exploring some aspects of Dean's gender + sexuality throughout the years, I haven't revisited it in a while and I feel like some of my thoughts may have changed but it's still a really special fic to me.

Lately, I've also been working on another little fic set during the summer Dean is 14. He and Sam are staying at Bobby's and while the fic is centered around something else, there are small moments where we see Dean's budding awareness of his sexuality. (There's a cute boy at a produce stand and a hot lifeguard at the community pool and lots of magazine clippings of Harrison Ford and Patrick Swayze---he just wants to be like them, ok!) And it's like he's aware but he also can't really look at those feelings directly yet. (Also the art you made recently of young Dean "figuring it out" is so near and dear to my heart!!)

Then I have two Stanford Era time-travel WIPs (hiiii Cas!) And oh boy. This guy is SO GONE on Cas from the jump! And that's what I love so much about Stanford Era Dean (or well, my Stanford Era Dean), is that he's just in such a free point in his life, and so open to new experiences. He's not freaking out abt his immediate attraction and infatuation with Cas. In fact, where Older Dean (our Dean) is more...restrained, perhaps, in his feelings (not that he doesn't express them! i am team dean + his big feelings) but just that my personal interpretation re: the dean + his feelings for Cas timeline has him thinking / convincing himself that Cas doesn't feel the same way for him in the later seasons. So this Older Dean has kind of just, accepted that fact. And is trying not to wear his heart on his sleeve so much (and not really succeeding at all). But Stanford Era Dean? Oh no no no. He is a little shit stirrer and a smitten kitten and is both immediately clocking the situationship-and-mututal-feelings happening between Dean and Cas (it's so obvious to everyone on the outside looking in) AND he's actively flirting with Cas and just lighting up under any and all attention from him (because he's also so so lonely. and touch-starved. and craving affection).

Anyways, all this to say, I am always here to talk abt young queer Dean / Stanford Era Dean !!! I'd love to hear more of your headcanons too💞

[legionofpotatoes]

For real, your take on Mando season 3 is completely on point. But I get not feeling able to say it out loud without a disclaimer before, after, and in the tags to keep from getting shouted at in the reblogs. It's just the messed up nature of being in the SW fandom on Tumblr. Speaking your mind on your own blog is an invitation for buffoonery.

If I were completely honestly, I'm not in the least shocked that's what we got. I've long held the opinion that the worst part about the fandom is the fan opinions and expectations out of a new series, and the expectation that a formula for a show won't change, or that a character will maintain one set mentality/trope while simultaneously offering new, completely different story arcs. It isn't necessarily impossible to pull off, but it takes very careful planning and execution. And, unfortunately, that has never been a strength in this franchise, even before Disney ownership.

For most shows, it's the season 5 slump. After 5 seasons, all the flavor is gone and any additional seasons are painfully rehashed at best. For all the corporate financial squeezing that's been done to Mando since the beginning of the show to wring out revenue like its a wet washcloth, it really tracks that were in this place after only 3 seasons.

IMO the only thing that's going to save Andor is the fact that the end of the story has already been told in Rogue One and its confirmed that season 2 will end at that point of the timeline. If it was going to be a 3+ season show, I suspect we'd see the same treatment.

Anyway, I'll stop flapping my gums in your ask box. Your hot take encapsulated what felt off about this season to me. I couldn't put words to it, but it just felt....meh.

I just disable reblogs and try not to tag it in an inflammatory way, my gripes are genuinely like. basic semiotics and story sense, I'm not going after anyone's childhood or feel-goodness. This is all me-problems and me-expectations with a massive machine of commerce that will never give a shit lmao

I too wrote a couple of posts back in s2 days expecting something of this sort going forward after the weirdly presumptuous cameo-baiting of s2 and whatever in the goddamn hell boba fett did with its mando tie-ins, but an entire season of tirespinning sure was a surprising choice. I think writing for TV is fundamentally different than writing for film, so I didn't really see a clear parallel of incompetence within the franchise; and especially with season 1 being so solid in balancing both the overarching and the episodic stuff I felt like they had a neat ramp to milk a decently long character piece out of.

But I can't help but feel like my main problem with the disney/abrams/filoni/favreau era of star wars is its irrationally strong love for the aesthetic. it blinds them to good choices that will then make for interesting stories. gently deradicalizing, humanizing, and then literally AND figuratively getting din out of his shell so he could open up to a child's love could be such an effective, simple to parse, and wholesome core to structure the series around, but that would upend the aesthetic of their cowboy-ass romp a bit too fast and have an end and an identity and all that non-marketing friendly stuff. so they keep withholding his psyche, they keep giving then taking clear communication tools away from grogu, they keep teasing their bond but never outright stating it (I cannot believe after 3 seasons he still hasn't just looked at the baby and directly confessed he loved him), so they can keep bumping those goalposts back and forth while pretending it's progress. because they are in love with the aesthetic.

again, this is my main problem, I don't see this as a problem writ large or even something that represents a wrong way to do star wars. who the hell even knows how you treat a franchise that large at this point, what importance you assign to aesthetic vs. story, all that jazz. I don't know. they're the ones with the analytics data, so they definitely know better. and maybe that's the saddest part

[seasidesapphix]

At Long Last, the Hugo Best Review (spoilers)

_-🦢-_

On the 31st of January, I finished Erin Somers’ Stay Up with Hugo Best. I initially found myself at a bit of a loss for whether I actually liked it or not.

It’s a book that didn’t live up to the hype for me, but I still think there’s something really special about it. Hugo Best is a fascinating book, with some excellent subtle character writing and tension, some genuinely great comedic timing, but in the end, it feels like a long joke with a bad punchline. Let’s discuss it.

I would generally consider the main thesis of Hugo Best to be "meet your heroes, but don’t meet their asshole friends." Or perhaps more simply, "don’t meet your heroes, please." In any case, the central concern is that of the social implications of celebrity. Our protagonist June is a great choice for such a story, as she is both religiously obsessed with the details of Hugo’s career, as well as being a disillusioned comedian herself who regularly parodies and crucifies Hugo internally.

The one issue I have with June is one I saw mentioned by another reviewer, Juli Weiner: she’s so BAD at being a comedian. There’s a bit where she cracks a joke ("baseball is about as comprehensible to me as particle physics") and another comedian flatly says she isn’t funny. And he’s completely right, what we do see of her stand-up is totally dull and the jokes she makes in dialogue are god-awful observational comedy. We're meant to sympathise with June but like. The joke was a total stinker, and all her jokes are like that. And yet, June’s internal narration is great! Her narration is packed with wit and genuinely fun to read, but it doesn’t carry over. I figured it was to show that she struggles to communicate? In that case, I feel like it might’ve been worth making her external attempts at jokes slightly more entertaining, considering how much of the book is made up of them.

Hugo, on the other hand, is an interesting case. Somers completely sold him to me as a celebrity, with the descriptions of his previous TV shows and controversies standing out as totally convincing, but he still felt undercooked as a person. I never really got the sense he was more than he first appeared, and perhaps it was a clever subversion of expectations: June’s roommate immediately suspects in the first chapter he has some horrible secret when he invites her to his home for the weekend but… He doesn’t. Hugo’s exactly as he appears. He’s a retired TV show host who doesn’t understand his teenage son, resents his younger replacement, and only dates his own fans. The best (I’m afraid the puns are unavoidable with this one) scene with Hugo is on the second night, when June comes into his room. I think it was more for the fact that at this point, I was so invested in their relationship as the first two days had been so promising, but the rising romantic tension just kinda… falters.

This bit is AMAZING. I loved it so much when I read it for the first time, and if the novel was a short story, it could've ended right there and I'd be happy. It's this excellent blend of unexpected intimacy and forcing down the words they want to say. The back-and-forth chemistry in the first two days between them is actually fantastic.

Unfortunately, it all goes a bit sour.

(This narration's actually great but also. This is directly following three pages of old people fighting)

I'm not exactly sure where Hugo Best loses its way but the story starts stagnating hard. The first two days are great, both fun to read and thoughtful about the ideas of celebrity and ambition, but on the morning of the third day, it basically overstays its welcome. The jokes are still good but the day after June meets Roman (Hugo's obnoxious, racist comedian friend), which is genuinely well-written and interesting, the story doesn't do much of anything afterwards. There's the big party that Hugo's been planning but oops, the rain was so bad, it ends up being cancelled.

(free my man comrade julian)

June and Hugo go to a bar in the evening, Hugo does his last ever comedy routine, and he shoots down her idea to promote new comedians from minority backgrounds, because he considers it to be "making ammends" for his past, rather than just. yknow. a good thing to do.

THEN the next day, in an interview about his retirement, he repeats June's idea verbatim and presents it as his own. It's a pretty good way to make his character feel scummy but I wish June had actually confronted him. She immediately notes it's her words he's saying, but never pursues it. I think that would've been a great scene, because leaving it as is without any follow-up just makes it feel like a very on-the-nose way of saying "Hugo's not all that great". In the climax of the back, June and Hugo have some incredibly tense and awkward sex on his boat (earlier scenes of their flirt-banter had more chemistry), and June leaves the mansion. The two never meet again, as Hugo dies not long after. This actually caught me by surprise when I read it, and this bit did admittedly make me cry.

It's so unflatteringly realistic, and it did actually hurt. I ended up not liking Hugo all too much, and I liked the decision to effectively have him die without achieving much of anything he wanted to do in his retirement. It's not cruel for the sake of being cruel, considering what we'd seen of Hugo, he wasn't likely to keep his promises, but it still works surprisingly well at making you feel miserable. June goes to his funeral, and tells the story of their weekend together to her colleagues, where it becomes nothing more than "a three-minute anecdote". The final paragraph is also actually great: on her way home, June looks at the constellations of the ceiling of Grand Central and says this:

I love this ending. It's smart and punchy, and I like how it is entirely based on a pun. It's fitting! I think that the ending is remarkably strong, but it just doesn't make up for the weakness of the story's middle and climax. It's an interesting case where the story does stick the landing, but the actual flight was boring and seemed to be going around in circles. This ending works incredibly well as a culmination of the story's themes, but after such a tedious climax, it feels like it's out of place. Hugo's death is a great idea, but it's dropped on the third last page, after far too much time being spent on boring bickering in the story's middle.

In conclusion, I think Hugo Best has some great moments and excellent commentary on celebrity. However, it loses its way half-way in - the pacing grinds almost to a halt, and it loses the breezy pace it originally had. It's still got good moments here and there, the ending being a highlight, but lacks the punch of the beginning. The romance, similarly, starts great, with June constantly reminding herself that the dynamic feels exploitative considering he was her boss and a celebrity but still finding genuine connection with Hugo - until the penny drops and it just feels like someone with no ideas creatively exploiting their partner. The sexual climax of the relationship just feels mechanical. They're literally just acting out the motions before it ends. That in of itself is interesting, but it lacks the emotional spark it should have had. I think most readers will root for them to get together, but the disappointment of that idea doesn't feel as disappointing as it could have. The relationship was always going to fail, but I wish it had been more explosive. In the end, Hugo Best feels... somewhat lifeless in what should be its most dramatic moments.

To sum it all up, I'd treat Stay Up with Hugo Best like a party: leave when you're having the most fun, before it goes dead.

Thank you for reading! 🦢

[inkabelledesigns]

I'm seeing a lot of comments where people are trying to figure out where to go to roleplay with real people. So I wanted to add on with some advice for you.

If you're unsure where to go, there are many places to find fellow roleplayers. Look around on Tumblr's search feature for RP and askblogs, or consider making one yourself and tagging it with your fandom to be seen. If you write fanfiction, maybe put an offer at the end of your fic to roleplay with people in that fandom.

Search around for fandom Discord servers that have an RP section. I recently found myself in a Kirby server where the roleplaying scene is really fun. I'm mostly a spectator, but it's amazing how many tools there are for that, from typing regularly to making character profiles with Tupperbot and similar tools. Look for forum websites to see if they have any RP forums. I used to be a part of a forum on TV Tropes for a roleplayl called We Have All Been Gender Flipped, or WHABGF for short. Genuinely had a lot of fun there.

Heck, back when YouTube had a comments section on people's channels, my earliest internet roleplaying days were there. If you want to go make a YouTube video and use the comments section for roleplaying, by all means, go for it. It's unorthodox, but so long as everyone consents to it, why not? XD I mean there were days where my high school friends and I would make color coded Google Docs to roleplay together, we had some Sly Cooper level adventures that were so much fun. When you have friends or mutuals, reach out to them directly to ask if they'd be into it. I remember briefly playing around on a website called Chatzy for private chat rooms. I can't vouch for how it is now, but maybe that would be up your alley.

If you want more than text, then there's always a good drawing roleplay. Maybe you open up a Magma canvas and open it up to some friends or the public, and you doodle out some scenarios of your characters together. Maybe you find an online multiplayer game where you can goof around together. I can't say I know enough about VR chat to recommend it, but I'm told it's good to go in with a group of people you already know for that (and to be cautious about spicy stuff). Heck, you could probably do stuff like this in stuff like Minecraft if you wanted.

I know it can be scary to reach out to someone about this stuff, but I promise you, it's worth it. Be kind, be polite, and remember, the worst thing they can say is no. And it's okay to say no, that's not the end of the world. One door closed means another door is open somewhere else. Just remember, the person on the other side of the screen is in fact a person. They have a life outside of their phone that has them doing all sorts of things, and sometimes roleplays will be slow because of that. I know it's hard to wait, but waiting is worth it to have fun with someone whose company you enjoy.

If you're still anxious about being with real people, there's always playing life simulation games like The Sims. Most of the time, the base game is free for Sims 4, and there's so many mods you can download without ever needing to use Expansion packs. And on stuff like the Gallery, you can find lots of Sims of your favorite characters made by others, and you can tweak them to your liking. I personally love designing OCs and characters from my favorite media in games like this to play out their lives, romances, etc.

If you like text based games and want to imagine a character, a lot of my friends have been enjoying Fallen London recently. There's a lot of imagination and character creation you can do within the different scenarios they give you, and seeing all of their OCs from this has been a treat. There's also a messaging system there (that I keep neglecting to use, I'm so sorry guys) for a little bit of roleplay adjacent communicating between characters from real people, but it's not required. I'm sure there are other things like it out there that fit this niche, this is just the one I know of.

There are many ways to fill the part of your heart that loves roleplaying, and I promise you, it's worth it to take the time to try them. You will become a better writer and get better at socializing the more you exercise those skills, and ultimately, you'll find your people. And it's going to be so much fun! Just remember, be kind, get consent, and talk things out if you're unsure of where the boundaries are. It's gonna be okay, you've got this, you are gonna find something that works for you. I believe in you!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go take my own advice and try to be less scared of roleplaying with some cool people I know. XD Because boy did I need a reminder that it's not so bad, and things are gonna be okay.

reminder that being against ai also means being against character.ai and not using character.ai and not interacting with character.ai

i've never talked to chatgpt i've never talked to character.ai i have no interest in talking to a chatbot even if it's fun or based on my comfort character. if we want companies to stop using ai we need to tell them we aren't going to interact with it - so don't.

don't talk to robots. full stop.

[theverumproject]

Writer Questionnaire!

Thanks for the tag @the-letterbox-archives

How long have you had your writing tumblr/writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I think I've been here for about three months now.

What led you to create it?

I uploaded my first book, Verum I: The Awakening on AO3, Wattpad and Inkitt earlier this year. Sadly (though not surprising) it didn't do well, still doesn't. So I figured Tumblr might be the best place to advertise it. One of my mutuals read it! 

What's your favourite thing about the writeblr community?

Some of the tag games are really fun!

What's one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I have never learned how to make friends as a child. I'm always trying to make friends, to interact with people (irl and internet), but I just can't figure out how to do it. I always see other people becoming friends, happy to see/hear from each other. I try to have that too, I've been trying my entire life, but it just doesn't work. So please just interact with me. Tell me anything about you, about what you love, about what bothers you! I'm just happy to listen and will be very glad that somebody is talking directly to me. Please talk with me. I'm genuinely getting worried about my mental health.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I don't browse all that much here, but I'm always happy to see some writer memes on my dashboard.

Which wips or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Noodling is a new word to me. I hope I understood this question right

My only WIP is Verum II: The Robotic Era. I think about it all the time. Having fun with my characters, doing absolutely non-canonical shit with them, but also thinking about the plot and world building. 

How long have you been working on them?

I've been working on TRE since the first or second of April 2024. That's when I began writing the first part.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

Verum was entirely inspired by science. I'm a nerd.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Everyday, all the time, whenever something else isn't occupying my mind. 

When someone asks the dreaded, “what do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I say “Science Fiction”, if they wanna know a little more I continue with something like “It's about robots and aliens and sometimes they go on missions to save robots, because they are trapped”. I always sound like I have no idea what my story is about, because I can't explain that it's filled with violence, gore and death. Can't mention that in front of family, bosses and especially not in front of therapists, lol.

Name any characters you created. side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

Next to Luce, there were supposed to be two other female main characters. Verum was originally supposed to be Sci Fi Fantasy, but I took all fantasy elements out.

Kerlith: She is a demon from hell and one of many protectors of humanity. In the school project (the thing that started this whole project), she arrived on earth with a fleet of ghost pirates to join the main group.

I do have another idea for a book in which she could appear. It’s about angels trying to destroy humanity, but the robots they (humanity) built eons ago protect them without their knowledge. They live in a simulated reality, where everything is perfect. The demons would be allied with the robots. 

Lilian: She is the other scrapped main character. She's got spiritual superpowers and is friends with monsters. They would try to help humanity.

Now some characters that ARE gonna appear in the Verum series.

Ship AI: There's gonna be a fourth lover for the three lovey doveys that are Luce, Bluctro and Dethra. He doesn't have a name yet, but he's gonna be the AI of the big ass spaceship of Luce, Dethra and Bluctro. He's not gonna appear for a long time though.

Alien fish lady: She's gonna be the girlfriend of a human woman. Because why does my lesbian coded ass not have lesbians in the story, huh?

Isdod: Said human lady's placeholder name is Isdod. She slaughtered a bunch of Tapzians (enemy alien species) after she got abducted. Then she became a famous biologist.

There are more, but that's enough for now.

Who's the most unhinged?

Dethra. It's absolutely Dethra. The nice killer robot who loves to slaughter the bad guys.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Hell Idk. Writing different personalities is difficult for me.

Do you ever cringe at them?

I cringe at all of them, but especially at myself.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters? do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

They do seem to do what they want to do sometimes. Bluctro is a great example! He was meant to be killed off, but then he said nuh uh and joined the mains. Fucking asshole.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? and do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? for example, as asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on ao3, etc.

Pleaaaaaseeeee I looove questions!!!! But I never get any, so just pleaaaaaseeeee ask away! I don't care where you do it.

What makes you want to follow another writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on wips, or vibes?

I only follow writer blogs. So yes, I do check out the blog for a moment.

What makes you decide against following?

If it's not a writer blog, I won't follow. 

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I don't care who I interact with. Why wouldn't I want to interact with non-mutuals too?

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

I personally don't have a noodle in which I put other's characters, but I certainly could. Though noodles are rather small and don't have a big hole, so the character would have to be even smaller! I'd gladly hang a filled noodle up on my wall though.

…For what purpose does one put characters into noodles?

Open tag!

[shreya11111]

Shows are not meant to be analyzed deeply and picked apart from every angle with every micro expression studied for some hidden meaning, that’s the tumblrification of media and ultimately bad media literacy. If the audience can’t figure out something just by following along and watching a show’s twist and turns, then it’s bad writing. So I’m sorry to say that Byler can’t happen because it would be fanservice for the very online and the toxic gay nerds who think they know better than the rest of us just because some (usually creepy) “media scholar” tells them the color of Mike’s pants actually means Byler will happen on the summer solstice if you look close. Mike and El are obviously endgame because that’s the story the show is plainly telling 🤷‍♀️

media literacy is…

according to https://www.medialit.org/reading-room/what-media-literacy-definitionand-more

what we bylers do when we analyze stranger things as a show isn’t something new. a lot of us have been part of fandoms where this has been done several times, or we just naturally do it as a part of our media consumption. it isn’t just restricted to tumblr, so idk where you’re getting that from. @naturallybrielle literally has a tiktok account where she makes analysis videos so…

there are also accounts like @causeineedu and @/girlskth that make analysis videos on tiktok on this topic.

how is it bad media literacy to a) do exactly what the definition of media literacy is and b) analyze a show that is clearly meant to be analyzed?

and before you come saying that “it’s not that deep” or that “the duffers wouldn’t put this much effort into the details” i would like to direct you to this tweet:

the duffers themselves have said many times before that they put care into the details of this show. so why are we so wrong to analyze? they clearly want us to.

the fact that noah schnapp confirmed that they’ve been building up will’s feelings for mike since SEASON 1 should tell you this much.

besides, a lot of the analyses and theories i’ve seen in the byler fandom make tons of sense. it’s literally the reason why the byler community has grown so much. and this is coming from someone who used to ship midleven immediately post season 3, but stopped early 2020 (i think?) due to the anti-midleven analyses i read which made so much sense. mike and el are simply not a good couple. they would be so much better off as platonic friends.

also going back to the part about the analyzing of facial expressions - i’m assuming you primarily mean mike’s facial expressions. you see, the thing is that we, as an audience, do not have direct access to mike wheeler’s thoughts. we don’t know what’s going on inside that very complex mind of his. the only thing we have left to rely on are his facial expressions, body language and general actions. we don’t have much other choice BUT to analyze those aspects of him. and when we realize that mike’s actions directly contradict with his facial expressions/tone of voice/just the subtext in general, then what conclusion are we supposed to draw other than him not being genuine?

you also oversimplify the analyses we do in this fandom. it goes deeper than just the color of mike’s pants or whatever. yes, we may bring up color coding when it comes to mike and will but it’s not just some random color is it? it’s typically blue and yellow in reference to the “blue and yellow meets in the west” theory. which, if you actually paid attention to the show, you’d see that it makes sense. there are MULTIPLE times throughout this show (and especially in season 4) where mike and will have been color coded blue and yellow respectively.

aside from color coding, we also look very very deep into the characters, into the overall narrative, into the parallels/foreshadowing/subtext. we spend a lot of time actually trying to unravel what the duffers are trying to say with this story - which btw is completely valid. just like any other form of art that tends to be analyzed, analyzing stranger things (a tv show which is another form of art) makes complete sense.

and come on now, if you think that midleven is endgame because that’s what “the story of the show is plainly telling” then i’d seriously like you to rewatch the show, but this time with no inherent biases and with an open-mind.

in conclusion, byler is endgame and byler nation will never stop analyzing and having fun.

[luna-rainbow]

All these anons actually make me want to read this book to figure out if it's a writer issue or reader issue because from what Kuang actually says in interviews, she felt June (the white protagonist) was relatable and sympathetic despite the raging flaws. She also talks frequently about the fact that Athena (the Asian) was written to be flawed and unlikable, so I am not getting the sense that she is hellbent on only demonising white characters. This is what she actually says about June:

I feel really bad for June. She is a product of a literary environment where it’s easy to believe that some people are getting book deals just because they’re diverse, and yes, she is a flaming racist and yes she has no genuine friends of color and yes she’s just in it for herself, but some of her attitudes are also a consequence of how dehumanizing and cruel the publishing industry can be and how the social economy of writers can be — and that’s really the target of critique, not this hypothetical person with all of June’s attributes. (Source)

It's interesting she says here that the target of her critique is "not (on) this hypothetical person with all of June's attributes" but rather on the industry -- so I am not sure that her intention is "all White people bad" as anons have been saying.

Kuang doesn't seem as oblivious to Athena's privilege as anons seem to believe, because this is what she says about Athena:

(...) she had this Cinderella story of overnight celebrity, and it's messed with her head a bit. And she's used to being the only Asian American in the room. She's used to being the special token, and she views anyone else as a threat. (Source)

Kuang is pretty clear in several interviews that Athena made specific choices to protect her own privilege (as the only minority allowed to sit at the table). She also says this about Athena's right to tell a story:

So she’s had this long career of being a magpie, selecting the most interesting parts of her own family history, lying about her family history in order to get more attention, and writing about traumatic parts of Chinese history that she never directly experienced or has any familial tie to. Maybe she’s a good writer. But the question is, is she contributing anything other than sob stories for white people to consume? And that’s an open question. But I’ve tried to make it very explicit that her place in the community and her own community is very fraught. (Source)

So basically she is saying that while the White author was profiteering off (literally stealing a story) appropriating a culture, the Chinese author was doing something similar by co-opting other "Asian" experiences as her own (in another interview Kuang mentions Athena writing as an authority on Korean War and highlighting the fact that Athena had no personal context for that) for extra attention.

In addition, Kuang's conclusion about the story was this:

It does look at things like cultural appropriation and racism in the industry and the ways we can commodify and talk about racial identity in very reductive terms. But at the heart of it, it's just a psychological thriller about a relationship between two best friends that's gone very badly wrong. (Source)

This sounds like the cultural appropriation and "right to tell a story" is only one thread of the story and not the singular message she was trying to bludgeon people with -- which is what the series of anons have been saying.

So now I'm really curious whether the issue lies in the delivery or in the reception. Maybe people are going in with the expectation that this is pure racial commentary instead of what Kuang seems to intend as a critique on the publishing industry. It also seems that Kuang believes she wrote two equally unpleasant characters in June and Athena...yet somehow anons seem to believe only the White girl was villainised.

I do think it is ironic that in several interviews Kuang calls June her inner voice of doubt that constantly tells her: “No, you don’t deserve this. You’re not that special. The only reason why you’re getting any of this attention is because you’re Asian and a minority.” and then she has to grapple with and overcome that -- because honestly, that's what some of the anons are sounding like.

re: RF Kuang: what really annoyed me was, in Yellowface, there was an interesting element to the characters I wanted to see. The white character is from a middle-class background and has to work throughout college and beyond, writing her manuscripts on the side. The Chinese character is from a upper-class background, never had a job, and attended elite schools. It would've been interesting to dive into how race and class affect your chances in the publishing industry. Race affected the Chinese character's chances, but she also would've had more chances overall since she had the luxury of not needing to work and having more time to write and develop her skills. Although the white character didn't suffer from racial discrimination, her being from a middle-class background and needing to work to support herself meant she just didn't have the same number of chances.

It's a shame that the potential for a more complex look at the different factors which affect your chances at becoming a published author was thrown away. Instead we get the white author being cartoonishly racist and stupid for pages on end, just so RF Kuang can make sure we all understand that white author is racist and bad!!!! For someone who writes about topics which seem to be serious, her delivery is too heavy-handed.

--

TBH, a lot of people who make it as published authors are gigantic cowards about addressing how free time affects that and exactly where that free time comes from—family money, indulgent spouses, etc.

[distracteddegenerate]

I'm sorry if this annoying but can I please get a little fanfic with the inumaki forget idea ? Sorry if this werd English isn't my first languag

Not annoying at all anon, In fact I really like this idea of yours. (Also your English is pretty good so don’t worry!) Hope you like the fic!

CHARACTERS: Inumaki Toge x Female Reader

WARNINGS: Smut, Dark Content, Noncon, Yandere, Manipulation, Mind Control/ Brain Washing, Cunnilingus

Minors Do Not Interact! 

1.5k words

It was comforting, the fluff of ashen white hair that lay on your shoulder, the morning light seeping in from behind the slat blinds cascading a bright shimmer over the expanse of the snowy tufts. The individual strands were dusting your skin feather-light, tickling against you in the sway of every meager intake and exhalation of breath escaping Toge’s mouth.

You had known Toge for years now, and although you couldn’t truly remember how you even came to know him in the first place, he had effortlessly situated himself in the spot of one of your nearest and dearest. You found that his earnest silence brought you solace, words that he could not convey through sentence instead being understood through the knowing glances and expressions you had come to share with one another, the fluency of this mutual language only strengthening with the passage of time.

Now was one of those blissful moments of comfortable, knowing quiet. domestically lounging around your apartment during a day off, lazily giggling at some meme compilation in unison while leaning against one another on the settee. You couldn’t think of a better way to spend your time, this cozy sphere of amenity that you had constructed with Toge an apt repose from the outside world.

Whilst you were lost reflecting on your rosy blessings, you were suddenly brought back to reality when you felt the weight of toge’s head lift from your shoulder, turning to meet the familiar gaze of inquisitive violet eyes peering at you from behind off-white tresses.

“Are you okay, Toge?”

“Mustard Leaf.”

The response, that usually implied he was doing fine in the small dictionary of onigiri vocabulary he had come to employ.. Didn't feel genuine, to say the least. His irises were blown wide, registering your countenance as though he was trying to gleen some hidden information from your inquiring squint, when Toge began to lean further over you. You turned the front of your body to look at him directly, though you were steadily inclining your spine backwards in your perplexion at Toge’s unusual advancement.

He soon had draped his entire upper body over yours, hands reaching around your frame to press into the sofa to support himself as his face drew dangerously close to yours.

“Toge?” A heat was rising in your upper body. Sure, you and Toge were incredibly close friends.. But this was a little too much for your liking. You pressed your palms against the jut of his shoulders and pushed slightly, though with no true force. Blushing, you faced away from him, trying to announce your discomfort at his invasive approach. “T-toge.. This is a bit too-”

“Don’t move.”

And sure enough, compelled by some otherworldly force to entertain the command, you had stopped moving in your tracks. It didn’t take long for you to figure Toge had used his technique. Like a deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming car, your body froze statuesque while conflicting eyes beamed alive, frantically searching for the reasoning behind the cruel fate that was racing towards you.

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of your stomach at the sight of his lips pulled tight, his usually bright irises murky with shadows of deception. Something awful was afoot. His deadpan look in conjunction with the preceding events told you this was no prank, swiftly realising that your trust in him had been irredeemably breached to the point of fear at what was coming next. Your body twitched as you strained under the spell that had been cast on you, helpless to the plummeting feeling of the safe structure of friendship you had built with Toge coming crumbling down around you.

Your fears were proven genuine when Toge’s hand began reaching forward, coming to rest on the curve of your hip. You tried to communicate with your eyes, begging for him to stop and to just think about what he was doing, but he paid no heed to it. In fact it seemed like he was ignoring your glare, focused on the task that lay at his palms. He began deftly inching your bottoms down over your pelvis, panties and all coming to a halt over your thighs, just above your kneecaps.

It was then that he shot you a glance of what seemed like sorrowfulness, as if he was fully aware he was enacting something cruel but thought it necessary. Perhaps like how a farmer would look at lame animal before putting it to rest. 

Still, you were broken away from the horrid thoughts and back into a harsher reality when Toge had begun ripping the aforementioned cloth even further down your legs until they reached your calves. Shoving his hands between your thighs, the pads of his fingers pressed forcefully against the flesh and separated the limbs till they spread wide. You were completely exposed, the open air cutting a chill against your privates.

He traced his fingertips over your slit, with whatever wet, however slight gathered up in it’s trailing wake. He looked you in your eyes when he brought the digits to your clit, as if looking for a reaction when he began grinding his forefingers against the sensitive nub. Unable to do so much as flinch away from the offensive touch, you mentally grit your teeth as you felt that aching bundle of nerves scream against the assault. It felt painful, at first. You were so unprepared for the sudden encroachment on your most sensitive parts, It made you want to recoil in on yourself completely, though there was nought you could do in protest.

Toge began occasionally lowering his fingers to reach directly into your core, drawing out the little slick you were producing to mercifully rub it over your clit. The lubrication meant his ministrations were less painfully direct, his motions transforming into a light flutter that felt traitorously gratifying, an unwarranted heat beginning to pool in your stomach. Your body was disobediently reacting to his touches with craving, and it made you want to hide away forever but unfortunately you were rendered completely unable to escape the explicit display you were being forced to partake in. 

You felt his warm breath exhale humid air over your cunt, when you noticed from your frozen position that you couldn’t see Toge’s face any more, only the top of his alpine locks as he lowered himself further over your pulsing heat.

You knew what was coming, but you still inwardly lurched with shock at the swiping of that lithe muscle over your aching bundle. The feeling made you throb with hypersensitivity, the combination of the attention that area had received earlier now with the sudden sensation of Toge’s wet mouth lapping at you desperately causing your entire pussy to twitch around his tongue in a chase for release.

Dragging and dipping his emblazoned tongue over and between your sopping folds, he came to plant his mouth directly over your clit. He sucked over it with such vigor his cheeks completely hollowed, rolling your nub between his lips whilst deft fingers aided in your pleasure as he continued to pump them in and out of the sticky apex of your crotch. 

He worked at you for some time, steady in the intensity of his applications. It wasn’t long before the sensations grew too much, pussy clenching around his fingers as you reached a climax, flood gates swinging open as you gushed helplessly over his face.

He stayed where he was for a second, before rising. When his pale face came into view, you took in the sight of your own slick washing trails down his chin, the purple tattoos it overlay on his cheek glistening prismatic in the light the sun cast over it. He looked wild, salivating at the maw, sparkling amethysts settling an intense gaze into your own eyes which were vacantly still trying to work through the thralls of your orgasm.

Yet, fear sparked them alert with dread when you saw his mouth drop open to speak once again.

“Forget.”

Even in that split second of recognition you had before your memories had been erased for (unbeknownst to you,) the umpteenth time, it was enough for an intensely visceral stream of consciousness to flood your thoughts. You realised intuitively Toge was never really the person you thought he was, and you wondered how many times you had been used like this. How much had happened, how much had you been subject to by his cursed technique. Just how much was real in that domestic setting that you had been experiencing before it all came crashing down like this.

***

If only you knew just how much of your true self had slipped away. With your hands wrapped around his cock once more, The sunset and rise beginning to melt away at the edges into a haze of warm gradients was just a pretty sight to you, the concept of time becoming irrelevant to you as you settled into your life as an ignorant hostage.

Extra Notes:

Yeah so this kinda became a fucked up version of 50 first dates.. although now that I think about it I guess 50 first dates is pretty fucked up? Also god writing a character who hardly speaks is so hard in fic format;; I guess enjoy the challenge though

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

SPOILERS AND ASSUMPTIONS FOR CAMPAIGN 1!

OKAY, let me start by categorising what spoilers I know as best I can, going (mostly) in chronological order AFAIK:

Clarota betrays them (VERY sad, when I first watched those first 10-ish episodes I was fully behind Keyleth’s ‘trust him’ train)

Vax loses a foot to lava and also his snake belt rip

Kima and Allura are the cool, trustworthy PCs, as is everyone’s favourite, Gilmore, a shopkeep with a black belt in karate

The dragonborn guy’s homeland gets dunked on and then later he dies offscreen

Percy’s sister is alive and betrays them but only kind of? I think? She was held captive by the Briarwoods for years and Percy thought she was dead, but she was blackmailed/brainwashed/tortured?

Vax gets cornered by the Briarwoods alone by accident (classic)

There’s a chick called Ripley who makes guns A Thing for the wider world

Something about a sun tree? It’s a creepy tree? They hallucinate their own corpses on it? Or something?

They probably kill one of the hottie vampires at the end of Percy’s arc, I think the male one? Because the lady vampire shows up later?

Percy dies in his arc and it’s the second res ritual they do, after Pike’s one pre-stream

“Take off the mask, darling.” I still don’t care about romance but I feel obligated to mention that I know that famous line

I also know the equally famous “I thought he’d never leave” bubble bath bit, ah Laura

There’s a CHROMA CONCLAVE attack right at the end of Percy’s arc, somewhere

Rashian is a dragon or something, everyone laughs at Liam for not knowing this. I know nothing else about who the Chroma conclave is (3-5 chromatic dragons??? One of each colour????) or what they want, except Vax levels up in the middle of fighting one and Keyleth yells at one

There are communication earrings. There is also a weird black powder man. Victor?

They actually have a permanent home/keep unlike the Mighty Nein?

Vex dies because Percy didn’t check for traps, this is the start of some deal of Vax’s with the Raven Queen which means he multiclasses into paladin?

Vax can fly, he can fly, he can fly!

Uhhhh there’s a couple cursed swords or something in there lol

Percy sells his soul briefly? Genius move Smart Guy lmao

Feywild??? Somehow????? They meet Artagan and make a deal with him for a doorway, and they spend an episode as cows somewhere in here?

Keyleth has Mom Trauma, I don’t know how much this will feature in the campaign

Vax and Vex’s dad suxxx or something, mother is dead

Scanlan hits on his surprise daughter and everyone screams

They have some kind of year long adventuring group break for some reason?

Keyleth makes a storm on an airship (???) and this is cool. Also she turns into a fire elemental a lot and this is also cool.

There’s a kraken fight? It goes really badly, like LEGENDARILY badly, and ngl I’m kind of looking forward to it

Scanlan #LOSESIT and has his legendary ‘what’s my mother’s name?’ rant, after which he leaves for an undetermined number of episodes and is replaced by Tary

This leads to Grog spelling C-A-T for some reason and this???? Makes people cry???????? Truly something you had to be there for

Pike tries to commission drawings of VM for Tary (who calls Vex “little elf girl” and braces for impact when Laura’s nostrils flare) and this goes Very Wrong in a funny way

Tary’s dad sucks

He writes a book

Some NPC reads said book in campaign 2, hence why I know about it

Grog has an arc to do with the other Goliaths who beat him up for defending Pike’s dad?

When Scanlan comes back he tries to sneak in, Vex chases him and he panics and casts modify memory on Vex, it fails several times, an angsty moment becomes comedic very fast

He is received with Mixed Emotions lmao

Keyleth turns into a goldfish and kills herself, this is both apparently extremely painful and extremely funny

Vax gets disintegrated and dies in a beholder fight (rip)

Gilmore is not a dragon but everyone was fully convinced he was. He also gets bodysnatched or something at some point to freak out VM, but they figure out very quickly it’s not him

Scanlan is Ioun’s chosen? Whatever that means, something to help fight Vecna I think

“It was an honour knowing you” sad! Sad! Sad line! Gilmore doesn’t understand, cheekily responds, and leaves!!!! Liam looks on the verge of tears!!!!!! SAD!!!!!

There are so many true love nat 20s. I don’t know what any of them are except that Pike has one and Ashley looks like she’s about to cry

They win the Vecna fight and Keyleth gets the HDYWDT, Scanlan wanted to save a Wish spell for Vax but couldn’t, so he stays dead

Everyone cries here but at least the rest of the party is okay

Keyleth is the last woman standing and everyone cries at this too

And then Grog uses the deck of many things, spawning two oneshots to clean up his mess

Also somewhere in here Vex steals a broom from a guest (lol)

Assumptions!!!!!

More tears than campaign 2 I think, since there are at least two resurrection rituals we see on screen that I know of

The fights might be more stressful since they’re higher level?

Scanlan is going to be the most sexual and lewd character because he is played by Sam

Vex is going to be the second most sexual and lewd character because she is played by Laura

Vax will still instigate most of the one-on-ones so Liam can have as many heavy conversations as his theatre kid’s heart desires

Keyleth will try and fail to make the group more moral

Pike will not try to be moral at all despite being four feet of blessed armour and adorable hair

I think other characters try to make Percy feel remorse for Murder Reasons, but I suspect he’s not going to feel that guilty (I will likely support him in murderous endeavours unless they are FAR more messed up than I currently believe)

From what I understand Grog is Loveable but not hugely layered or complex, and I know Travis was proud he didn’t cry this campaign. I suspect I may be surprised at the character depth Travis gives him, however.

Keyleth also thinks the gods are overrated and I AGREE

Percy is three feral and eldritch raccoons in a trench coat, held together only by sheer force of will and the fragile shell of a posh accent. No one notices because it’s a really cool accent.

There will be a lot more money/shopping/drinking elements than in campaign 2, since I know Vex is a haggler, Percy is a Lord, and Keyleth is a day-drinker? As are Grog and Scanlan

It will be funny for me to see Taliesin play a smart character and Travis a dumb one, though I know that the whiplash went the other way for most people lmao

Vox Machina will be less team-heavy than the Mighty Nein? I gather they’re more of an ‘individual hero’ makeup than an ‘everyone has support abilities’ makeup

It will be more fast-paced than campaign 2? It seems like a lot of the arcs lead directly into each other, with only the occasional shopping episode break

It feels like it might be less friendship heavy than the Mighty Nein? Like they seem more like ‘we’d die for each other’ pals who otherwise spend all their time trying to draw dicks on each other’s faces

They have a more clear “party leader” than the Mighty Nein, who might be Percy and/or Keyleth

I think most PCs and NPCs are more morally clear cut than in campaign 2, like most towns and people in positions of power are either “cool guy who can pitch in” or “get rid of this abomination immediately” territory

I think my favourite character will be Vex, Percy or Keyleth. I just feel it in my bones. 

I think I may also get an extreme soft spot for Grog and Pike, however

My main sources of surprise will be, I think, how things fit together? Like I have no idea WHY they’re in the Feywild, or most other places really, or what any villains’ motivations and backstories and personality traits are, and how they end up fighting any of them in any particular place for any particular reason. I don’t even really know characters’ abilities or literally anything done in any of the fights, aside from “they win/nearly die” and “Scanlan uses Wish and Bigby’s Hand against Vecna”

I assume most plot threads all lead into each other fairly solidly and that they don’t actually seek most of their stuff out?

This assumption will either be fairly right or hilariously wrong, but -- I assume that I already know almost everything important or shocking? I tried really hard to avoid it but being active in campaign 2 meant that over time I got exposed to more and more of campaign 1, and I genuinely believe that I have almost everything down, if not details or order. I don’t think I’ve missed any big moment or impactful arc

Let’s see if I’m right

[aquadestinyswriting]

Hi, welcome back. I'm also trying to get back into the community after a bit of a break and am trying to be more active again.

That said, I have a bunch of WIPs that are all interconnected, but I'm only going to gush about one of them here as I'm a little short on time at the moment.

The Wizard's Tale

This is the one to really dig into if you enjoy angst and drama (though there is some fluff and light-hearted content in here too). This WIP series concentrates on Selene Frigidwake; the Grand Magus of the city of Toreguarde, ex-adventurer, a Hero of Allansia and survivor of the Demon War that took place ten years prior.

The overall plot revolves around Selene trying to run Toreguarde, which is a very new city-state, as one third of the ruling Triumverate throughout the plot of a D&D 3rd edition campaign titled 'Destiny's New Servants'.

I love getting to dig into the background goings-on of that campaign and getting a chance to write about how Selene deals with how it all unfolds. There's a lot of writing that deals with her poor mental health and the PTSD that comes with surviving an earlier campaign as a former adventurer. There are a ton of callbacks to the Demon War and how that affected the Heroes that survived it and helped to rebuild their former fortified town into the grand city-state it is today. Originally, there were six surviving Heroes of the Demon War. By the time the series starts, only three (possibly four?) Heroes are left for Reasons that are entirely unknown to Selene until about three quarters of the way through the story. The angst that comes from not knowing what happened to one of them in particular, is a delight to write. Especially given the grief that Selene is given about it by Schreiber, the Chancellor - another member of the Triumverate - who is one of the scummiest characters I've had the pleasure of writing and expanding the character of.

Then there's the whole Edict thing, which is what prevented Selene from becoming directly involved in the plot of the Destiny's New Servants campaign while it was being run. I'm thoroughly enjoying getting to expand on this little piece of legislation and exploring it's implications and limitations as it pertains to Selene and her desire to keep Toreguarde safe from malevolent outside forces. I need to write up a worldbuilding post about it at some point, especially since it influences so many of Selene's and Schreiber's (and, thereby, the Council's) decisions throughout this series.

Then there's the whole extremely slowburn Thing with Edwin -a fellow former adventurer and Hero of Allansia. I've so enjoyed writing Selene's (demi)aroace ass being almost entirely oblivious to Edwin's looks and comments as he falls for her over and over again until it's almost too late for her to figure it out. It's not that she doesn't feel anything for Edwin; she just thinks their connection is a deepening platonic friendship since she's literally never felt romantic attraction before. This becomes especially hilarious when you add in the empathic and telepathic link she has with her familiar, who does know what romantic attraction feels like. While I've written romantic stuff before, coming at it from this kind of angle has been a wonderful exercise in figuring out how to balance the dynamics of a burgeoning aro/alloro relationship.

Honestly, just getting to write more for the very first character I ever roleplayed is a genuine delight, even if it means she has to experience even more Horrors along the way.

writers, listen up...

i've fallen out of touch with the writeblr community a lot in the past few years, and i want to rectify that. the community aspect was what made me fall in love with tumblr, and what improved my writing for the better.

the golden days of my writing were when i was highly active and engaged in this wonderful community, but life and work and the horrors of self publishing have overtaken my energy in the past year. however, i have been really struggling with original writing, and i want to get back into the community here.

that said...

you write fantasy with queer characters

are an indie author

post frequently about your wips (taglists are a bonus!)

are queer

are a very active and friendly writer

if any of these apply

please, please reblog and tell me about your wip. gush over it. infodump. characters and ships and worldbuilding and plot, i want it all! this is your invitation to be as selfishly indulgent as possible. let's make some new friends and restore some community!!

boosts appreciated!

[onewomancitadel]

I have been looking for strong arguments for my cinder's redemption theory and your posts just completely blew me away. Thank you so much for writing all of this. One thing that baffles me though is the fandom obsession with violence and murder as the solution to her story. I just do not get it. Where does this crap come from? It is like they will not accept anything other than the most violent murdery bloody end for Cinder. In their eyes anything less would be shitty writing. I do not get it.

Hi anon, hope you're having a great day. <3

Aw, that makes me so pleased to hear! Happy I could help out and you resonated with my posts. I know the feeling, when I find other people who really 'get' the same things I am interested in and have a critically good approach.

You touch on something really interesting here about violence and murder as the only answer, because I think that's kind of the great irony of Cinder's character: that's part of her worldview. Kill or be killed, you're the one in pain or someone else is. That's why I find the ending to her story validating that worldview so unsuitable; it's basically begging for deconstruction and reconstruction.

It would be really easy to draw from a psychoanalytic viewpoint here and say that most people view violence and murder as the answer because might is right in society. Compassion and understanding is devalued, and even in conversations where it is seemingly valued, it can be used in performative ways to obfuscate true justice, true compassion, true atonement, and true forgiveness. It makes it hard to have real conversations about that kind of thing because it can seem like a weapon of the enemy.

I think there's genuine value in this analysis. But I think it becomes reductive to say this is the only thing motivating it, especially when I don't think that fiction necessarily validates or creates these atittudes, but rather reproduces them.

I also think that a more simple answer is that it's normative narrative values. Violence is part of narrative language; it's not always directly literal, but often can be metaphorical. Adolescence or adulthood can be reached by literally, and symbolically, killing a parent or parental figure, or usurping parent figures in the story - for instance, Cinder kills Ozpin, and then she kills Pyrrha; these both represent the father (who reincarnates into the son) and the symbolism of childhood and innocence herself. Sometimes you have instances like with Adam, where the bull sacrifice - and the killing - is a type of metaphorical sacred marriage for Yang and Blake. "Marriage and killing are related... the marriage is the killing of your separateness." (Joseph Campbell, from an interview released after his passing). That is specifically from the context of bull sacrifice.

Violence is also a way to communicate sexuality, because there is a sense of anxiety in media about conveying sexuality beyond subtextual means - and subtextuality means you can be more subtle about it, and make it more age-appropriate anyway. But violence is how you can convey two characters very close together, and convey this intimacy. There are manifold ideas motivating violence-as-sex: firstly, because I think sexuality is not taken seriously as an idea on its own, and sex can be seen as a power negotiation and not 'making love', or that is to say: sex is violence; secondly, violence is already an acceptable narrative language; thirdly, subtextuality can just be fun.

So violence in narrative can do a lot of things, beyond simply portraying... well... violence. Those metaphorical implementations sometimes go over peoples' heads, though. It's what (seemingly) makes Pyrrha's death so unforgivable, for instance. No matter how much you might be able to convey that Pyrrha is the killing of childhood, and Cinder represents the complicated morality of an expanding worldview as you come to see adults as people/the world beyond black and white, the inevitability of change and growth (ooh! Autumnal theming!), the violence of change, the complete unseating she symbolically represents in the story, it doesn't change what textually happened. That's why the only answer to that is that death pays for life. Pyrrha died. Cinder's got to die, too.

The answer is Cinder's death for her crimes because themes don't matter, story structure doesn't matter, there's not an intelligible framework to these viewers' eyes that does not go beyond 'bad thing happen, even badder thing must happen'. Violence and more violence! Flat readings! Kill death murder!

If you ignore what the whole story is saying, of course. Like how they can't kill Salem, and the answer will never be killing Salem... not because it's impossible but because her curse must be broken. They don't really know that part yet, but that's part of the ironic prophecy. You can never kill Salem, because you must not kill her. Nevermind the overtness of what they're doing with Neo's story and revenge, or anything else in the story... which are all arguing for this final thematic statement... which Cinder is a part of.

Of course, I could see the argument that Cinder's death could realise an idea metaphorically, but as you go through my Cindemption tag you'll see that a) no b) no, the Maiden power won't work like that, and it's doing a lot of different things in the story and c) no and d) the tragedy of Pyrrha's death, and others in the story, have to eventually mean something, and answering it with more death - not learning from that - is depressing. Pyrrha's death 2.0 with Cinder is just bad, and you can't really kill childhood twice over. If Cinder learnt cynicism in her childhood... then yes, perhaps I expect some themes of innocence to be reprised.

But it's really about established narrative language and expectations, but part of what really annoys me is that the wrong methodology of analysis is applied to R/WBY in particular. R/WBY is a fantastical fairytale gunsword diet-anime show and they have gone to pains to establish the rules of their story. If you want it to be some grimdark, deconstructionist type of deal, you're in for the wrong story. I would certainly say R/WBY reconstructs tropes, but it is not cynical, it is not nihilistic, and it is playing with story magic. It's hard to believe a story about stories would insult the very fabric of stories.

They think Cinder deserves a death because they a) don't pay attention to her character - Cinder is a severe fandom blindspot, b) don't understand remotely anything about anything at all thematically or what the Maiden powers are doing in the story or Salem or Ozma or the stories or the purpose of her backstory or ANYTHING, and c) expect that with the established narrative language as violence begets violence, then the damn evil bitch should be put down despite that already being rejected in V5 with Jaune. The lattermost of these points is also complicated because writing redemption arcs is REALLY HARD. Writing good ones. Writing stories with a different structure that doesn't end in one of the baddies dying (including redemption-by-death) is REALLY HARD. Because it's not just good guys win bad guys die. It's structurally more complex than that. You need to be arguing for it, and argumentation is hard! Especially when you're going against the established grain narratively in Western media! There is a separate post here where I discuss recent trends in narrative nihilism, and a rejection of metaphor...

So I am compassionate towards the viewpoint that Cinder 'must die', because I think it does come from more of a complex place than people being stupid or bad or having bad opinions. It's not really narrative convention to sympathise with villains either (in a sincere way which involves the expectation of redemption), broadly speaking. I am sure that they are people who care about the characters they are used to caring about. I am however very swift to point out the faultiness of their analysis if it goes directly against a textual reading, and R/WBY is really fucking unsubtle.

So that's my opinion on it. I think there are a lot of contributing factors, and hey - maybe I am wrong, and maybe R/WBY will do an about-turn and go back on everything it has established. But between you and me, it's not about being right, it's about being invested in a story and letting that story make you think about things. This is why I dislike the aversion to critically thinking about what a text is actually SAYING. Read, watch, and think for yourself! That includes my blog most especially.

Thank you for your ask! If there's something I've missed in my Cindemption tag, let me know, and feel free to send more asks about Cinder, her redemption, and redemption arcs in general. <3

[sideofthetiger]

Redorich

It’s been a while since you sent this response. When my sister and I first got it, we honestly didn’t know how to respond. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I think I finally figured out what to say.

I’d like to start with the obvious: I’m very sorry you were hurt by our ask. I, the person who is writing this response, don’t go on tumblr a lot, and so I asked my sister to send you the original ask, and this second response, on her account, even though I wrote them both. The wording of the original ask was entirely my fault, and I regret not putting more thought into how it was worded before I sent it. I genuinely did not realize that it would be hurtful.

Re-reading what I originally sent you, I realize that this sounds fake. After all, it pretty clearly implies that we (I) didn’t think the original post was very good. So, most of the time in between your response and this response was me trying to decide why I believed that wouldn’t be hurtful. I think I finally figured it out. I think I made a bad assumption.

I (we) assumed that you viewed Hermit Canyon as a fan work. Based on existing stories, settings and characters who you liked, but thought would be better/more interesting/funnier/etc. if changed in this way. Reading through your ask, I think I was wrong. I think you consider Hermit Canyon to be your work. Your idea, your world, your creation. Not someone else’s thing you changed.

At the time I made this assumption, I think it was a reasonable assumption to make. I don’t think there is a point in getting into why I made this assumption or how accurate it is, but I think you should know that by the nature of where you are posting, this is an assumption people will make.

You have chosen to post on AO3 a collection of vignettes clearly inspired by already existing stories. It looks like a fan work. You pointed out at the end of your response that the line between plagiarism and “inspired by” is very thin. You are right, it is. But the thing about writing fanfiction is that by its nature, whether its plagiarism is irrelevant. Every fanfic author steals ideas blatantly, because the point isn’t to create a new world, its to mess around with an old one.

Despite it being nearly two years later at this point, you are still clearly very emotionally invested with the Hermit Canyon world, and presumably the other worlds you – in conjunction with your Tumblr followers - have created. There really isn’t anything wrong with that. But if I had known you felt so attached to this work, I would have worded my ask very differently.

No, I’m going to be more honest than that. I wouldn’t have sent you an ask at all. We (mostly my sister) write fanfic. We write stories whose whole premise is “what if the thing this guy did, but only slightly different?” We know better than to say that directly to an original author. If we knew that’s how you connected with your work, we would have done you the same courtesy.

It seems like this genuinely upset you. It seems like it has genuinely upset you for some time. I am sorry I (we) hurt you. But I think this needs to be said. If you are upset people respond to your work like fanfiction – and have been for a while – it might be time to take a hard look at the communities that you are frequenting.

Frankly, if you want to stay on AO3 and tumblr, I’ll be thrilled. I’m looking forward to whatever you decide to do with Hermit’s Canyon, as well as anything else you want to put out there. But this kind of thing will keep happening if you stay. You are the only author I have ever interacted with who is upset that people want to do more with their story than they did. That is the basis of these kinds of sites, building on each other’s creations. There are online sites and communities focused on supporting original work, and it appears that you might be happier there.

You would have to write original stories, of course. Stories where characters from two already established stories get shoved together and hilarity ensues will always – rightly or not – be fanfiction. Writing fanfiction, but expecting no one to write fanfiction of your story, is not reasonable. I’m sorry. You can’t have it both ways.

You’ve made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with the story that my sister and I have already half-written. So, we won’t bring it up again. Good luck with getting RL under control, and may you have a long, happy life.

–Tiger & Co

Hey, my sister and I wanted to take your Hermit Canyon AU, patch a few plotholes we found, add a little bit of our own creativity, and iron it into a single cohesive story with a story format and an easy-to-follow plot. It won't have any of your writing directly copied, but it will be so heavily inspired by it – at least in the first few chapters – that it'll be super, blindingly obvious. 1: are you okay with us publishing it on Ao3/here, and 2: do you want any updates, info, etc? – Tiger

...hi. it's been a while, hasn't it?

to be completely honest with you, i've been ignoring this message for a while-- partly because i've been living in a cell service-less cabin in the woods with mold, mice, worms, ticks, hornets, and what have you-- but partly for other reasons.

you see, i didn't know how to answer this. on a surface level, i should be thrilled that someone likes my work enough to want to "patch it up" and make a work so inspired by it. however...

my AUs were never meant to be stories.

from what i've seen in the mcyt fandom, people who run AUs throw out ideas they think are cool, then someone sends them an ask with a new idea, the blog responds, and post by post all of these ideas develop plot points. they're not "stories" in the traditional sense; they're written very differently to accommodate the format and time frame they're posted in. i posted a collection of all the posts in my AUs to ao3 so they could all be in one spot. i didn't want them to be buried and forgotten.

and you know what? people like you, who ask me if they can smooth over the things that i wrote? they have a point. from an objective standpoint, my fics are bad-- they were never supposed to be fics in the first place. they're fragmented. scenes are too short. the pacing is wrong and so are some characterizations. i pick up and drop plot threads at random. pick your poison, i guess.

it still hurts when you ask to change my writing.

it's like you're telling me that i didn't write a good enough story. you're telling me that for all the months of time and tens of thousands of words that i did put in, none of that was enough because you could have done what i did, but better.

whenever people ask to rewrite my stories, to "patch a few plotholes", to "iron it into a single cohesive story", to make the plot "easy to follow", do you think i take it positively? how could anyone see things like that about their own work and feel good? the mistakes i made apparently bothered people to the point that several of them asked to fix them. like my stories need to be fixed.

this isn't the first or last time i've received a message like this, but it's the only one in my inbox that i haven't deleted. i stressed over this for a long time. the way i see it, i have a few options.

i could delete this message too, and the next one, and the next one. i'll ignore the problem until people stop asking-- except that they won't stop, will they? so, how about i just say no? if i just definitively say "no, you can't rewrite my fics", i'd feel like a total tool who's getting way too up their own ass about a stupid fanfiction that wasn't even good.

should i suck it up and allow people to "fix" my works, then? it feels... disingenuous, for lack of a better word. it may be a shitty fanfiction, but it's my shitty fanfiction, and i don't want to see complete strangers proudly displaying their improvements to its patchwork corpse. don't get me wrong, i love that people want to put their own spin on my fics. if you wanna make a work inspired by my fics then go ahead, you always have my blessing. but inspiration and "fixing what someone else wrote" aren't the same thing.

my last idea is that i could rewrite my AU compilations into real fics myself. i'd enjoy it, honestly, but that doesnt change the fact that it would be a massive task. my hermit!tommy AU and hermit canyon AU are, respectively, 35,000 and 55,000 words each. turning them into "real stories" would see their word counts massively bloated with revisions, to say nothing of the huge swaths of text that would be completely new.

writing takes time and energy, and to be frank, i have a life-- a busy one, at that. it's stressful. i won't go into personal details, because fishing for pity is not the point of what i'm trying to say here. (though, i will say that the whole joke about living in a house with pests, no wifi, no beds, and no doors? one hundred percent not a joke.)

i want to move on to new things. the current AU on my blog, the hermit!ghostbur AU, has been on hiatus for months for reasons mentioned above. i've been hyping myself up for it so much, because people have made amazing art and comments and ideas for it. they care. i don't want to let them down. because of the ending of hermitcraft season eight, and all the things that have happened so far in season nine, i have to scrap and rewrite the plan i had for the entire AU. it feels insurmountable. i love the au, and i want to jump straight into writing it, but... maybe rewriting my older stuff will help me shake off the rust.

so. my choice.

i'll rewrite it, i think. i don't know if i'll rewrite both hermit!tommy and hermit canyon, and i don't know which one i'll start with. (the few people who bothered to read this much of my drivel thus far into the post can send in their votes, i guess.) this is a big project, so please be patient with me.

whew, that was a lot of talking!! i'll summarize all my word-vomit. i'm gonna rewrite one or both of my AU collections so no one else feels like they have to. keep in mind that this is not the norm for tumblr-run AUs or their collections. i'm a person, as all writers are; keep in mind how your words hurt people. even though you meant no harm, that you just wanted to take something you liked and make it better, that shit grinds away at a person's self-esteem. so, if you want to write something using my works as inspiration, please do!! but inspiration and plagiarism are two different beasts. sorry for making you wait so long, and thank you for understanding.