#And baby in the fey wild

[autumn-lavelle]

Ada Leonard (A.k.a Leona Pike de rolo)

"I'm searching for my brother...so I can drag his sorry ass home by my side. So will you help me?"

Ada Leonard, a competitive, kind, inquisitive yet really bad at socializing young woman of twenty. With her short, wild curly hair and glasses and a gun strapped to her hip. The party nicknamed her 'Gunny' for her obsession with guns more then her aim, and 'Lion' because that girl gets ferocious when cornering a threat. Especially when said threat has info on her twin brother. Ada doesn't like going into crowded villages and usually will stay at camp, or be the first to leave the inn. The group thinks she's paranoid. Her party truly has no idea why Ada is so dead set on finding her brother, but she tells them that she isn't complete without him.

Ada keeps her family names and past close to her chest. Not divulging a lot of info, but they know she is a twin and definitely a middle child.

What Ada hasn't told them is why she wants to find her brother so badly. Or why she hides from crowds. It's because her real name is Leona Pike de Rolo...and she is guilt ridden with her brother leaving her behind. All their childhood they competed with each other, wanting to be on top and any victory she had was poked at his face. But it was her mean streak that ended up having her twin, Wolfe, fall into the arms of a temptress twice his age (he was 17 at the time). That woman (40) lured him away, and he began pulling from her. Leona felt he was struggling but he refused to talk to her, his twin. Out of fear she would Lord it over him. So one night he left, their teacher the woman taking him with her.

Leona was crushed. Her twin was gone. She felt is was her fault...was she a bad sister? How hadnt she noticed the signs or their planning?

Why did her Wolfe leave her alone?...

While her parents worried...father sending a search party, and Vex leaving herself Leona decided it was her duty to bring her twin back. He was her other half, and it most likely was her fault he never told what was happening....so in the night, she stole one of her father's guns and cut her hair, and set off to the farthest city's she could. Now the de Rolo's had lost both their twins.

Leona has been going by Ada Leonard for three years now. Running from any people that could possibly know her parents, and searching high and low for Wolfe, as well as one crazy shenanigan where she may have gotten lost in the feywild and slept with fey, who turned out wasn't a fey he was a hunter that got trapped there and had a baby with him....But ya know, before she can peruse that domestic possible romance she vowed to murder that older couger, and drag her twin back. Because she has learned that with him missing she felt incomplete. For all her bravado and teasing she was nothing without her Wolfe.

"Brother...please let me find you. I want to tell you...I'm sorry."

[laurellala]

Wow guys ace attorney is so cool, I wish lawyers were real

[mejomonster]

Chapter 131. It is still a Bit funny Fei Du, legal adult and former partier, healed from the bomb now, confessor to planning to kill a whole org, gets scolded by Luo Wenzhou for drinking:

Oh, Wei Wenchuan would have done that even without guidance.” Saying so, Fei Du reached for the cans of beer arranged on the table to entertain guests; Luo Wenzhou tapped on the back of his hand with a pen. Fei Du gave an “oh,” and even the preoccupied Xiao Haiyang looked over.

Fei Du: “…”

Then, pretending that nothing had happened, he turned and picked the detailed materials about Wei Wenchuan up off the table, very properly pushing at his glasses.

[myceliacrochet]

Hey guys🩷 This is for my friend Maryam. As you may know,

The World Food Programme stopped bringing food to Maryam's refugee camp

because it's too dangerous.

$5.50/day covers baby formula,

so even small donations really make a difference. Also,

The baby and the little girl need funds for medical attention.

They also need food, a basket to carry it in, winterization supplies, and evacuation funds.

The flow of money coming in from her GoFundMe needs to increase because the current trickling is not enough for her to even get all her supplies, let alone save up for evacuation --

and they need to get away from the bombing ASAP.

Living with the bombing is giving them PTSD, and they could get blown up at any moment.

Maryam could use some caring words.

Please send me any kind messages you'd like to say to Maryam.

Many Palestinians are begging us for emotional support as well as financial.

Thank you so much for listening.

Mindy Mycelia

This comic by @crispycreambacon really puts into words how Maryam and other Palestinians help me keep going on in this struggle:

@awetistic-things @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @blomstermjuk @mythiedew @operationladybug @hussyknee @gazavetters @acehimbo @butch-king-frankenstein @butchniqabi @butchfeygela @butchjeremyfragrance @ohjinyoung @rememberthelaughter2016 @parfaithaven @paper-mario-wiki @monotremesoup @ilikefoodandyourmom @a-shade-of-blue @agremlinthing @huzni @bagofbonesmp3 @thatsonehellofabird @innovatorbunny @khanger @sunidentifiables @neechees @maester-cressen @lampsbian @sundung @shinydreamtacoprune-blog @rob-os-17 @brokenbackmountain @unwinni3 @whateveroursoulsaremadeoff @cultreslut @halfbloodfanboy @pontaoski @fei-huli @feluka @felidaeng @elbiotipo @selkiebrides @ibtisams @rhubarbspring @frigidwife @lesbiansagainsttheatre @lesbianmaxevans @timetravellingkitty

[that-golden-lyre]

👁👄👁

How dare you! How dare you @flowerflamestars !!!! After I poured my heart out to you, you just HIT ME IN THE FEELS WITH THIS AGAIN?!?!?!

Im gonna go cry in my fucking corner

Shoreless Sea snippet

Instead, she met her sister’s gaze and saw a stranger. Faelit blue eyes shot through in temper, in magic, silver flame and dancing light, more dawn that drawing fire. Opalescent. Sunrise on serene water, like she’d stolen some more magic to match that pearl smeared all over her body.   Of course she had.   “You,” Feyre swallowed, thick. “You’re been in Summer this whole time. I tried to go there, I tried”-   A gentle frown reshaped Tarquin’s handsome face. “Borders are not flexible. Not after what you took from us.”   The first humiliating, furious tear, ran down Feyre’s nose. “To find Amren. To get back my family.”   Silent, they did not need to speak to carry out the charade, Tarquin twisted and Nesta pulled her leg free. Stood in a slide of soft silk layers, fingertips dancing across Tarquin’s back as he leaned forward and away.   Hand held out between them as she moved, Nesta offered a handkerchief, soft grey fabric forming between seconds.   Feyre fought the urge to take it. To throw it back in her face.   The minute went on and one, before Nesta dropped her hand. Squared those familiar, stubborn shoulders, and went stone still.   Feyre swallowed. “What do you want? For access to the Library?”   “What do I want?” Her voice was a whip crack.   A fresh wash of tears tumbled free. “You’re my sister,” Feyre said, choking on the word, “We need the library. We need- people are dying.”   Nesta did not even blink. It was like the words could not even reach her. “The Library is open to all who do not break its rules.”   She couldn’t-   “Do you want to come home?” Feyre offered, frantic. “Money. Jewels. To be Emissary. Anything, just”-   Very slowly, Tarquin rose to his full height. No true menace in the motion, but something worse. Concern, unhidden, bleeding free, the whole of his attention on Nesta’s bone white, stone cold face. He didn’t try to protect her from Feyre’s anger, painting the air with sparks, rug ruined. Did not even bother to try and end the fight; all Tarquin did was reach for Nesta’s hand, cupped in both of his.   “You would like to be High Lady,” he said, without looking up, Nesta’s unmoving hand a dead thing between the gold adored darkness of his grip, “You only have one job. Take care of your people.”   A thousand miles away, Nesta whispered, “Are they dying? Or are they paying?”   Keir, nothing left of his body but a handful of carved bones. Morrigan’s brothers, cousins, eaten whole. It was only low fae who lived, servants and prisoners fleeing, freed. A wraith who’d spit in Feyre’s face, when she’d promised they’d find her a home.   No High Fae could live through that night.

[gayciate]

🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

I have to post some Encanto Monster AU Headcanon jumpscare right now!!!!! Not everyone, but a few of them!

Isabela - Werewolf (Or, Werejaguar rather) + OK OK OK Hear me out on this one, see my vision????? Most of the time, she looks largely normal with "cute" features that many find appealing like the little kitty ears, fangs, and tail + BUT were-jaguar form is absolutely shit your pants terrifying horrific, something she was made to feel ashamed of for its wildness and unattractiveness + Spends pre-movie full moons fully barricaded in her locked room, tangled up in her own vines to keep herself contained - everything she bottles up comes out and is entirely out of control, her wild side is trying sososo hard to get out and she's literally, physically restraining it + Always ends up with an absolutely shredded room the night after the moon, snaps at anyone who ever mentions it or attempts to help her out + Post-movie after she comes to accept every part of herself and grow into her own, she starts to gain control over the beast form and spend more time in it willingly, no longer ashamed of looking "ugly" or acting as anything less than perfect

Luisa - Gargoyle + A powerful stone guardian that guards the family home restlessly + She doesn't actually need to sleep, but does go into a dormant "statue" state when exposed to direct sunlight. + Incredibly physically sturdy but not immune to damage. She can crack and break, though her pieces can be put back in place if they fall + It is debatable if she can feel pain in the same way more flesh-based beings can. She does not need to eat or breathe and cannot drown + While she has wings, she is too heavy to properly fly and uses them more to shield others from danger or glide short distances

Mirabel - Satyr + A real silly billy, she's got the fuzzy legs of a goat and little tiny horns under her hair + She's very musically inclined and can play several different instruments. She's creative, clever, and loves to frolic in the sun! + Her charisma stat is absolutely off the charts, others often find it very easy to relax around her as her monster species is not particularly threatening or associated with danger + Often faces underestimation and struggles with not being taken seriously. Her lack of scariness coupled with her inhuman nature can be a cause of direct bullying that more threatening monsters may not have to deal with.

Dolores - Vampire + Oppoisite Isabela, she's a little withdrawn and shy, probably has big ole' sensitive bat ears with perfect pitch detection + Veeeery sensitive to light and sound, she enjoys the quiet of night and often sleeps during the day + She can turn into a little bat and flutter around, but sometimes forgets she's easy to miss like that and jumpscares people who thought they were alone in a room + She's capable of sitting in complete silence for extended periods of time and is extremely patient. Her night-vision is impeccable. + Rumors have spread that she can read minds and has some psychic abilities, but these are entirely unfounded. She's just perceptive and very nosey.

Camilo - Changeling + A funky fey dude, taken in as a baby by Pepa and Félix when he was found abandoned in the wood + He's strongly attuned to magic in the environment and specializes in illusionist tricks + He has pointy ears, sharp teeth, and unnatural eyes that reflect light in the dark but shifts to a more human look most of the time to blend in with others + Quietly a little insecure about what he really is when he looks in the mirror without a disguise but tries not to dwell on it for too long

Antonio - Chimera + A strange little mix of creatures, he's got the upper half of a human with the lower half of a jaguar. He's also got the wings of an Andean condor, ears of a tapir, and an anaconda's tail! + The little dude climbs, flies, and swims - he's an ATV with endless energy who loves to shove himself into tight spaces to explore + Outgoing and a bit wild, he easily befriends other animals but sometimes finds people wary of him. He is very careful with his claws and fangs, but parents sometimes worry that he'll play too rough and hurt their kids. This makes him very sad! + Incredibly intelligent and inquisitive, he is active for long periods of time before collapsing into a nap and restarting the cycle

Bonus Augustín & Julieta - Headless horseman and Parrot Harpy I think Augustín would be like the headless horseman and constantly (literally) lose his head and Julieta would be a parrot harpy with colorful, blue plumage - incredibly intelligent and caring for her kids

[u5an5]

Of things obtained: Once Upon a Witchlight Ep. 24 | Slippery When Wet

<- Previous | Masterlist | Next ->

.

! Fair warning, this post contains SPOILERS. If you don't want to be spoiled, STOP READING !

.

Gricko

Languages: Common, Goblin, Gigant, Druidic, Sylvan?

Class: Druid, Circle of Primal Spirits (Reflavoured Circle of Stars with focus on Monstrosities instead constellations) lvl 4

Abilities: -2 lvl1 spell slots; -1 lvl2 spell slot; -2 Wild Shape

In possession from beginning:

Primal totems (ep.1)

Alarm whistle (ep.1)

Ocarina (ep.2)

Glue dropper bottle (ep.3)

Eyedrops bottle (ep.3)

Peanut butter jar (ep.10)

banañas (ep.12)

Can of WD-40 (ep.19)

Wooden carved pocket watch (ep.20)

Items acquired:

Bag of 603 gold pieces (couldn't find it; ep.1)

Cloak of Displacement (ep.1)

Magic Face Paint (Disguise Self 1h; ep.6)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Fey Pact) 2/8 (ep.7)

Witchlight wine (ep.7)

Cuddly toy spider (Spider Climb; ep. 8)

Glove puppet wizard (Illusion 3/3; ep.8)

Wooden wand (Prestidigitation 8/8; ep.8)

Blue ribbon "I dropped a beat on the Carnival street" (ep.8)

5x fridge magnets (ep.12)

Rocky Talkie (ep.14)

Mouse Harness (ep.15)

Bag of leeches full of Witchlight

Trinkets:

Golden Bell (ep.20)

19 - Vitrified eye of a displacer beast (ep.23)

36 - Rock that floats and is small enough to hide in your closed fist (ep.23)

23 - Ball-and-cup toy that plays a short, victorious jingle whenever the ball lands in the cup (ep.23)

55 - Mask that helps you remember your dreams if you wear it while you sleep (ep.23)

65 - Tiny wooden lute with cat hairs for strings (ep.23)

Clothes:

Pacts/contracts:

No ticket - after giving away his ticket to Gideon, due to The Rule of Reciprocity, his most prized possession (Hootsie) was taken away from him by Sowpig (ep.5)

With Mr Light - If Gricko was to stop talking and leave immediately he would make sure to get Snail Number Two to Gricko; Gricko did not and he might've been just humoring him to get rid of him faster (ep.16)

Fear: Groblin (2D beings in general; ep.12)

Hootsie (shrunk down and put in the Inn)

Trinkets:

90 - Set of false wooden teeth (ep.23)

.

Gideon

Languages: Common, Primodial, Sylvan?

Class: Fighter, Chain Brawler (Reflavoured Rune Knight) lvl 4

Abilities: -Burning Hands;

In possession from beginning:

Engineered manacles (ep.5)

Cigar (ep.10)

Really tiny notebook (ep.11)

Really tiny spectacle (ep.11)

Flask (ep.22)

Items acquired:

3 letters from Mr. Roslov (ep.1; they did NOT read it)

x5 Magical Invisibility Cupcakes (ep.3)

162 gold pieces (ep.7)

Wooden wand (Prestidigitation 8/8; ep.6)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Fey Pact) 3/8 (ep.7)

Cuddly toy spider (Spider Climb ep.7)

Letter from Mrs Witch & Light (ep.8)

x2 Cuddly toy spider (ep.8)

Pixie dust (Spider Climb ep.8)

Wooden wand (Prestidigitation 8/8; ep.6)

Blue ribbon (ep.8)

Forlarrens Remorse [dagger] (ep.15)

1 banaña (ep.16)

"Engineering for Fae Dummies 101" in sylvan [book] (ep.19)

Remains of the blue scarf (ep.22; given to Torbek)

Remains of Agdon Longscarf's ear (ep.22)

Trinkets:

17 - Sheet of music that goblins find upsetting when they hear it played or sung (ep.23)

76 - Collection of baby teeth in a tiny wooden box (ep.23)

40 - Wax candle that roars and crackles like a bonfire while lit (ep.23)

45 - Bar of soap that smells like something memorable from your childhood (ep.23)

3 - Silver hand mirror with a nymph-shaped handle (ep.23)

28 - Tiny clockwork dragonfly that slowly beats its wings (but can't fly) when wound up (Gideon has seen schematics for this exact dragonfly at the end of his book; ep.23)

73 - Nunchaku sized for a pixie or sprite (ep.23)

Clothes:

Baby pink Cake Chad T-shirt at least five sizes too small (ep.3)

Pacts/contracts:

Marriage - He has to get married to Taxie after asking her to marry him in exchange for a ticket for Frost. Additionally, Frost, as show of gratefulness, will do at least one nice thing for him each day and fulfill one bigger favour once every two weeks. (ep.14) Due to him and all betrothed signing Kremy's contract he became a sole husband to all three Bixie, Zaxie and Taxie and due some additional fine print he had to marry Kremy too (ep.15) (In next 7 days, if he's 30 feet or less from people he married he gets one +2AC for each of them)

Clown kill manslaughter count:

Chuckles the Clown - after being punched in body by Gideon, which broke every rib he had, laughed himself to death (supposedly he was already dead by this time due crippling alcoholism; before the campaign)

Klutzy the Clown - got hit by Gideon throwing Impossibal at incredible speeds directly into his face. The actual supposed cause of death was deadly allergy to unspecified ingredient/s in this processed not-meat sludge (ep.6)

Bumbo the Clown - Tripped and fallen directly onto Gideon's sword hand puppet, completely running him through. Was allergic to felt, he hit the ground and he died. (ep.9)

Thaco the Clown - Was deadly allergic to peanuts and ate an unlabeled peanut butter pie that Gideon chose for his wedding. It took over 1 hour for anyone to notice (ep.15)

.

Kremy

Languages: Common, Draconic, Bullywug, Sylvan?

Class: Warlock, Death Loa Patron (Reflavoured Undead patron) lvl 4

Abilities: -2 lvl2 spell slots

Outside of battle Suggestion spell functions for him as a cantrip

In possession from beginning:

Tophat

Skull Cane

2 gold pieces (ep.1)

at least 2 handkerchiefs (ep.3)

Compact mirror (ep.4)

Frying pan (ep.4)

Knife (ep.4)

Bacon grease (ep.8)

Cigarettes (ep.10)

Cigarette holder from Gideon (ep.17)

Pocket watch (ep.20)

Canteen (ep.20)

Items acquired:

Satchel with Carnival map and Three Rules of Feywild (ep.2)

Packet of pixie dust

Stuffed Almiraj plushie from Gideon (Minor Illusion 3/day)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Fey Pact) 2/8

45 gold pieces

A replica unicorn horn filled with candy (ep.7)

A replica unicorn horn filled with candy (ep.8)

Bright orange ribbon "consolation prize" from Torbek (ep.8)

Pinecone Pug plushie x2? (ep.12)

Pinecone Pug backpack (ep.12)

Gricko's teeth (ep.12)

Frost's fingernails (ep.12)

x3 Toffie (ep.13)

Fist sized cup made from snail shell (ep.14)

Great Fiddle (ep.15)

Satchel of human bones (ep.18)

Trinkets:

34 - Fake Three-Dragon Ante card depicting a faerie dragon (he put it on his tophat beside his other two cards) (ep.23)

94 - Tasseled wine charm shaped like a sprite (ep.23)

49 - Piece of parchment bearing a child's drawing of an oni (ep.23)

100-sided die the size of a plum, cut from coal (ep.23)

1 - Cookie cutter shaped like a unicorn (ep.23)

Clothes:

Pacts/contracts:

Due possessing unspecified knowledge he didn't pay for when he "abandoned his station" has to deliver 100,000 gold pieces to Mr. Garou by the end of the month as recompensation. If he's no longer able to do so by dying, the rest of the Krew is obligated to pay it (ep.1)

Marriage -Due making his contract with his betrothed he was able to transfer it onto Gideon and also marry him himself. (ep.15) (In next 7 days, if he's 30 feet or less from people he married he gets one +2AC for each of them)

Fear: Remy Garou and his debt to him (ep.12)

.

Frost

Languages: Common, Celestial, Elvish, Sylvan?

Class: Sorcerer, Mystic Mind Origin (Reflafoured Aberrant Mind) lvl 4

Abilities: -8hp/24hp; -2 1lvl spell slots

In possession from beginning:

Backpack (ep.2)

Glue (totally not related to horses; ep.3)

Tambourine (ep.3)

Water skin (ep.3) full of Oasis Water (ep.20)

Small dagger (ep.4)

Peanut butter jar (ep.10)

Peanut M&M's (ep.11)

Ball of yarn (ep.11)

Buttons (ep.13)

Crowbar (ep.18)

Red ball of yarn (given to Twig) (ep.19)

Towel (ep.20)

Water skin full of Oasis Water (ep.20)

x5 vials full of Oasis Water (ep.20)

10ft pole (ep.21)

Ball of thread and a needle (ep.22)

Items acquired:

Letter to Zybilna by Madrik Roslov (ep.1)

Bag of Beans (ep.1)

1 gold piece

Morning Frost license plate (ep.12)

Pack of pixie dust (ep.12)

Sky blue T-shirt three sizes too small with "Bird Chad" on it (ep.12)

1 ticket to Witchlight Carnival (gained due Pixie Pact) 0/8 (ep.14)

Teapot & pack of Scatterleaf tea (ep.14)

Killmoulis Spectacles (ep.15)

Wand of the Pact Breaker 3/3 (ep.15)

1 banaña (ep.16)

Trinkets:

64 - Piano key carved from a satyr's horn (ep.19)

6 - Tiny pair of sharp, iron scissors (ep.19)

68 - Wooden pan flute that attracts harmless local fauna when played (ep.23)

25 - Silver fork with the outer tines bent sideways (ep.23)

9 - Chess piece shaped like a dancing satyr wearing a bishop's hat and clutching a gnarled staff (ep.23)

63 - Black executioner's hood sized for a pixie or sprite (ep.23)

74 - Copper coin with a smiling satyr's face on one side and a satyr's skull on the other (ep.23)

Clothes:

Pacts/contracts:

Pixie Ticket Pact: In exchange for Gideon marrying Taxie to get him his ticket, he will do at least one nice thing for Gideon each day and one bigger favour once every two weeks; not as much pact as bros wanting to be fair (ep.14)

Fear: Being alone, being the last one standing and going insane, being left out (ep.12)

.

Torbek (shrunk down and put in the Inn)

(curently indisposed due the fomorian spit he drank last episode making him enter delirium-like state of exaustion as his body tries to flush it out)

Languages: Common, Goblin

Class: Blood Hunter (Presumably tweaked Mutant)

Abilities: -3hp/??hp; 1x Dimmension Door spell

Title/s: Brigand Prince of Prismeer (ep.22)

In possession from beginning:

Old Witchlight Carnival ticket 1/8 (ep.20)

Filthy Sack (ep.20)

Items acquired:

Bloodstained blue scarf (ep.23)

Trinkets:

50 - Tiny hourglass without sand in it (ep.23)

71 - Wooden apple painted blue (ep.23)

82 - Petrified robin's egg (ep.23)

39 - Vial of viscous liquid labeled "Fomorian spit. Do not drink!" (ep.23)

64 - Piano key carved from a satyr's horn (ep.23)

Clothes:

Nice cozy pajama

Little bowties in his fur

Contraption - A big contraption consisting of weird fey machinery and containers with liquid Witchlight embedded into his flesh on his back. It cannot be removed and it activates due unknown trigger, turning him into a feral beast (ep.19)

.

Twig [NPC]

Languages: Common, Sylvan

Class: Warlock (most likely with an Archfey patron)

Abilities: 20hp/24hp; -1 1lvl spell slot

In possession from beginning:

Acorn Satchel (ep.20)

Inn at The End of The Road shrunk down and kept in the Satchel (ep.20)

Items acquired:

Sterling silver comb from Gideon {Inn} (ep.19; given to Twig as payment)

Signaling whistle from Frost {Inn} (ep.19; given as payment)

Ball of red yarn from Frost {Inn?} (ep.20)

Trinket Ledger (ep.23)

Torbek {Inn}

Trinkets:

Wooden mouse figurine that squeaks when squeezed (ep.23)

Set of false wooden teeth x2 (ep.23)

Tiny beehive (literal hive of bees) wig made for sprites or pixies (ep.23)

Tiny wooden stool (sized for a pixie or sprite) that gives splinters to those who hold it if they're not an owner (ep.23)

. .

Krew (The Party)

In possession from beginning:

2 gold pieces (ep.1)

Items acquired:

5 gold pieces (ep.2; for street-performing)

Wand of the Pact Breaker 3/3 (ep.15, currently in Frost's possession)

Pacts/contracts:

With Madrik Roslov: In exchange for checking if Zybilna is alright, and if true, giving her the letter he wrote, Party will get what is left from his possessions once he passes away (ep.1)

With Diana Cloppington: In exchange for riddle concerning Prismeer, with knowledge and information she was able to store about current state of it in it, Party promises to, at least, attempt to help her return to human and be reunited with Sir Cloppington; Not really Fey Pact but on their rules (ep.2)

With Palasha & Candlefoot: In exchange for bringing Candelfoots voice back they pledged allegiance with Krew and promised to come and help them if they ever need them; not as much pact as keeping true to Third Rule (ep.13)

With Clapperclaw: In exchange for retrieving their head they will transport Krew to Tither (ep.23)

With Sir Talivar: upon receiving the message wit the key to his cage he's obligated to organize an audience with Titania, queen of Summer Court for Krew

Altered states:

Boon of Willa the Wisp [effect]: (ep.17)

(All) - the Boons recipient gains a d4 and can at any time within next 24 hours roll this die and add a number rolled to one ability check, attack roll or saving throw made by it.

New rule - They can do 3 Twists of Fate to cancel out 1 Twist of Dread (ep.18)

Twist of Fate curses:

Twist of Dread curses (by DM):

(Gricko) 20 - Half of your body goes numb; you can pick which half [01:26:08 - 01:45:00]

(Frost) 13 - You turn into Klutzy [01:27:03 - 01:44:40]

(Twig) - You become a summer eladrin [01:29:40 - 01:44:40]

(Gideon) 20 9 - Your head is replaced with donkey's head; you can still speak [01:32:40 - 01:45:00]

(Kremy) 2 1 - You're incredibly unlucky all rolls are at disadvantage and so are any allies within 20ft of you for 24h [01:32:15 -

[01:2

Would you kindly...

To-do list:

Get the 100,00 gold pieces by the end of the month (ep.1)

Find out why Madrik Roslovs patron, Zybilna, stopped answering his calls for 15 years so he can die in peace, knowing her fate (ep.1)

Get to the Witchlight Carnival before it ends and find the only available entrance to Prismeer, Zybilnas domain (ep.1; completed)

Try to become Witchlight Monarch (ep.1; completed)

Find out who was the man that cut off Lexi Pott's wings, why he did that and what happened with them (ep.1)

Find a way to reunite Diana Cloppington with her with her horse, Sir Cloppington, and return them to their previous forms (ep.2)

Win Cake Eating contest (ep.3; completed)

Find a way to return Candlefoots voice (ep.4; completed)

Find some clothes for Torbek (ep.6; completed)

Keep Torbek occupied for an hour when Carnival Hands find manacles for him and take him away for his punishment (ep.8; completed)

Catch the Kenku and bring her to Mr Witch & Mr Light for her punishment in exchange for some answers (ep.9; not realised)

Get ahold of Mr Witch's Pocketwatch or Mr Light's Weathervane and keep it hostage to get the true answers to what they seek (ep.9; completed)

Get reunited with Hootsie (ep.16, completed)

Avenge Willa and find a way to free her from being tied to the Well (ep.17)

Find Brody Snake-Snake in Yon and deliver him message from his parents (ep.18)

Retrieve a key to his cage from goblin named Jingle Jangle and free Sir Talavar from it (ep.18; completed)

Take care of Harengons so they don't harrass Jingle Jangle anymore and return her truffle bag (ep.21; completed)

Retrieve Clapperclaws head, a stag skull, from Agdon Longscarf and return it (ep.22)

Get Twig all limited edition Bunko-Pops of the Krew as drag queens if they ever have a chance

.

Time

4th day of Campaign, 2nd day in Prismeer, Feywild, wee hours +less than 3 hours - less than half an hour later

?th of the month (?? days until The Debt deadline)

Random Info

Man whose name Lexi Pott was unable to say was going to "wake her" and she was very scared for Party meeting him. When they mentioned name Zybilna, she said they "already were too deep" (ep.1)

After Lexi Pott died, Party was surrounded by Fairy Ring made up from mushrooms (ep.1)

Tasha and Iggwilv The Witch Queen are the same person (ep.4)

Chuckles said Gideon will join clowns in Hell and become Eighth Clown Lord of Crazy Eights (ep.7)

Torbek's poem is based on Immortality by Clare Harner (ep.8)

Burly the bugbear has a twin, Hurly, that went missing (ep.9)

Mr Witch and Mr Light got into pact for them to be able to run the Witchlight Carnival in exchange for things it wants (people breaking rules) to Hourglass Coven (ep.11)

The original owner of Witchlight Carnival was an archfey (ep.11)

Fey Pacts leave magical aura around those which they bind that are visible to fae (ep.11)

Whatever is stollen from Carnival always finds its way into Prismeer (ep.16)

The only people from Carnival who go outside its bounds are Witchlight Hands. All other creatures stay inside (ep.16)

According to Mr Light, Party is affected by Fae Magic way more than anyone he've ever seen in his life for some reason (ep.16)

Mr Witch's last words were "Mind the rule of three - future, present, past" and Mr Light's were "Find the alicorn and free the dormant Queen at last" (ep.16)

Brody Snake-Snake went to act at The Theater in Yon and haven't been in any contact with his parents since (ep.18)

Wigglewog is stated to be "very well dressed and very well dead" (ep.18)

Hags used Iggwilv's Caudron to freeze time inside Zybilnas Palace, trapping the archfey inside (ep.18)

Time works differently in Feywild (ep.18)

Torbek is at least five years older than the last time Krew saw him and doesn't have recollection of what happened to him during this time (ep.19)

The magenta liquid in Torbeks machinery is made of Witchlight, an extremely potent Feywild drug made from Witch Cup mushroom found only in deep parts of Feydark; due how hard it is to procure only the richest can afford it, like archfey (ep.19)

Jingle Jangle can only refer to herself in third person since she made deal with Bavlorna Blightstraw because she lost sense of self when she was made to be obsessed with keys but, as far as she knows, Jingle Jangle has always been her name (ep.21)

The only entities that can move between Realms of Prismeer are Hags and few guides that somehow found a way to travel between; the only one known in Hither is a pincer-clawed scarecrow, Clapperclaw (ep.21)

Tither is ruled by Granny Nightshade (ep.21)

Granny Nightshade, the hag that made Clapperclaw, gave its head to the Hag rulling in Hither, Bavlorna, and then she gave it to Agdon Longscarf (ep.23)

In Feywild, unless someone has someone next of kin or ever specified otherwise, after their death their belongings cease to belong to anyone, making taking them away and claiming as your own perfectly legal and not a case of breaking any of The Rules (ep.23)

Person of which voice Krew heard in the dream vision and Torbek heard on the table on which he was experimented on told Torbek telepathically that "They are coming", that Torbek won't be able to separate from "him" any time soon and that number 13 will have some kind of significance (ep.23)

Torbek has in the past unexplainably survived many instances of fatal situations that by any accounts should've killed him (like falling off the Harris Wheel uncountable number of times despite no one else falling off it more than once, ) (ep.23)

Total money: 817 gold pieces

.

<- Previous | Masterlist | Next ->

[crystaljellie]

My Post about Jimmy and Joel!! Finally!

So Jimmy and Joel know each other in their original world, as co-workers, they both work at the same cafe as it's right next to their uni.

They got isekai'd completely randomly, like they just went to sleep woke up the next day and BAMM, Grian standing over them as they're lying on the grass. Grian actually very quickly clocks that they're not from this world after originally thinking oh new race? Then realises, 'ah now watcher shennangins.'

He drags Joel and Jimmy off somewhere to hide and explains the situation to them and they're both sooo confused.

Grian kind of disguises them? He starts by making Jimmy a pair of fake wings, but then the next morning once Jimmy tries to take him off (They stayed over night) They just... don't come off, and then he realises bam he's a canary avian now, and Joel has become a woof elf? Well problem solved about being disguised.

Grian's plans for getting Jimmy and Joel out of here have backtracked a little bit, because now he needs to teach Jimmy how to fly and Joel how to handle his magic. So he calls in Scar who has taught a lot of baby avian's how to fly before, So Grian and Scar work on helping Jimmy with his wings, and then Grian helps him through some of the more complicated wing work.

Scar and Joel both being elves now work on magic together, Joel gets the hang of it really quickly.

And then Grian gets bored and sends them off!! Into the wild, tells them to find someone who might help them, he tells them bout the different realms but not the different worlds.

So Jimmy and Joel head off together.... but when crossing the ice realm they get separated in a snow storm, Jimmy takes shelter in Etho's house on accident. And Joel ends up finding a portal to the fey wilds.

So Jimmy and Etho chat for a bit and Etho points him in the direction of the southern realms after walking him out. Jimmy also walks a bit through the no lands (lands that do not belong to any realm) which is where he runs into Scott tending to his flowers. At this time Scott is not expecting anyone so he's still mostly in his starborn form but quickly switch back to looking like a sea elf when Jimmy arrives. And it's gay, it's really gay, Scott is obviously flirting with Jimmy and Jimmy's like "Wow..... pretty..." and Scott shows him some magic. After hanging out for a while Jimmy tells Scott about his mission to look for 'help' in the southern kingdom but didn't specify why. Scott is suspicious but is more so annoyed that the royal order has been brought up, but like, he's gay and decides, 'no Jimmy is not dealing with the royal order on his own I'm going to help him'

So walking to the kingdom they run into Owen, short chat and then Owen says he'll wait for them outside the city in case something goes wrong, which defo puts Jimmy on edge.

Other things happen Jimmy meets the royal order, and he recognises Martyn, by all means he shouldn't, but he does.

Uhm other things happen too which ends up with Jimmy going with Scott to the sun realms in search of something to save the southern kingdoms. I love flower husbands

All the while Joel is in the feywilds, where he meets Lizzie and is trying to figure out how to leave.

Sorry I'm Jimmy brained I have nothing else for Joel rn

[nikethestatue]

A Match Baked In Heaven

Chapter VII

Girl is On My Mind

It’s not that Elain didn’t like Thursdays. Or her sisters. But every Thursday morning, right at 7am, she and her sisters took a Pilates class. Which would’ve been okay. Elain didn’t mind Pilates, though twisting and stretching at 7am wasn’t exactly her idea of fun. It was the run that her sisters insisted on doing afterwards that she hated. 

Elain did not run.

Her sisters ran. Azriel Night ran. Piglet ran.

Elain Archeon did not run.

She didn’t enjoy being sweaty. Or uncovered. She didn’t really like all that lycra clothing. She was awkward. She wasn’t sporty. 

Piglet liked running, sort of. Not for too long. So often he ran with Nesta and Feyre and Elain followed them, clumsily speed walking, because Piglet was known to give up in the middle of the run and just stop. Someone had to pick him up then. Feyre had attempted to run with him in her arms, but he wailed and protested, and only calmed down when she slowed down to a walk. That he enjoyed. He wasn’t a fan of being jostled. But carried and babied–that he liked a lot. Therefore, Elain usually trailed the three of them, praying and hoping that Piglet would run out of steam sooner rather than later. And then she shrugged innocently and picked him, and explained that she couldn’t possibly continue with her run.

Today, Elain’s never been as grateful for the rain as she was right now. Because it cut the running session to almost nothing–they barely did two loops around the square and the rain began pouring buckets. Even Nesta, a running devotee, said no, and the four of them headed to Elain’s house. It was only 8:45am! And the torture was over just like that!

Nesta went to shower upstairs, and Feyre went to shower downstairs, while Elain, who was wearing an actual jacket, didn't get as wet, and only required a towel. She started on coffee, knowing that the sisters would demand breakfast, and took out a bottle of Prosecco, so they could make mimosas. This was usually their opportunity to gossip and complain, and talk men problems. 

“Ooohhh! Mimosas!” Feyre got very excited as soon as she saw the bottle and the pitcher of orange juice on the counter. She rushed to make herself a drink, while searching for Piglet.

“Come Piggy! Come to Aunty Fey and I’ll give you hugs!”

Elain took out eggs and bacon from the fridge, smiling to herself and knowing that ‘Piggy’ wasn’t into hugs. In fact, Piglet was actually going all kinds of crazy by the front door. He was pacing and jumping, scratching at it, yipping and even barking softly. 

“Piglet, we just went out,” Elain reminded him, curious as to why he was so eager to leave the house again. “We aren’t going out again. It’s raining and it’s cold.”

He bounded back and forth, jumping and barking at the door, but not angrily, not in the way he did when there was an unfamiliar delivery person or something like that.

“Piglet, come get hugs,” Feyre pleaded, but at that moment, the doorbell rang and Piglet went wild, leaping almost to the door handle, hopping and screeching.

“What’s gotten into him?” Feyre wondered. She’d never seen Piglet this excited. He had Elain’s personality on most days–calm, affable, but solitary, likeable, but laid back and wanting to control the attention that he was getting.

Elain frowned and went to open the door, trying to keep Piglet back with her foot.

She opened the door just a sliver, and gasped.

“Hey, beautiful!” Azriel Night was smiling widely at her, holding an Arsenal bag in one hand and in another, something from a bakery it seemed.

“You?” she stuttered.

“Me!” he confirmed and then stooped to look behind her, where Piglet was stomping enthusiastically, trying to squeeze from behind Elain’s legs.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded.

She hadn’t communicated with him since Sunday morning when she backed away from their conversation and didn’t respond to any of his messages. He didn’t pester her, getting the hint, and up until now, she hasn’t heard from him. And she was fine with that. At least, it felt okay and she convinced herself that it was for the best. But seeing him here right now, his black hair damp, his smile mysterious and handsome, and  his smirk promising mischief. 

“Let me in, beautiful. It’s damn cold and rainy out here.”

Elain just stood there, and Azriel looked at Piglet,

“Hey my matey. How are you?! I’ve missed you too. Can you tell Ellie to let me in? I’ve got presents for you and for her,”

Piglet almost bit Elain’s ankle, trying to get her out of the way, and have Azriel come in. Barking angrily at her, he paced desperately behind her, whispering and begging.

At last, she stepped back and Azriel stepped inside.

Piglet, for lack of a better term, assaulted him with happiness. Leaping at Azriel, he butted at him, squealed and barked and ran in circles around him.

“Come here,” Azriel simply dropped down on the floor, right by the door and Piglet dove into his arms. 

“Tell me everything,” Azriel encouraged, stroking Piglet’s back, as the dog lay his head on Azriel’s shoulder and quieted down, only grunting happily. “How’s life? Have you been good? Ellie is looking very nice–I’ve never seen her in these yoga tights, and they hug her in all the right places! Did she tell you why she’s been angry with me and why she's been so cross? Ignoring me for 5 days?”

He glanced up at Elain, who was nervously picking at the hem of her hoodie, which was unzipped and Azriel very happily looked at the sliver of her bare belly and her sports bra, which couldn’t hide her luscious breasts despite being designed to do just that. Her eyes were soft. It was like she couldn’t stop looking at him, and he didn’t mind it at all. 

“Hey pretty matchmaker!” He winked at her and then looked around.

Elain’s home was grand, by all accounts. Not many people could claim the privilege of owning a three-story inherited Georgian mansion, but here he was and he…whistled. The carriage house alone would’ve been anyone’s luxury abode, especially in this town, but his princess-y matchmaker wasn’t just anyone.

He kind of gasped to himself. That spurned Pinky into action, when he jumped out of Azriel’s embrace and sprinted like his arse was on fire. In less than a minute, he returned, dragging two toys with him. He dumped them in Azriel’s lap and ran away again, before returning with his ‘baby’, which was a pug plushie that he slept with. The plushie’s name was Puglet.

Azriel meanwhile observed the fancy house.

Original parquet floors, sanded and lacquered to a perfect shine, a gorgeous walnut staircase that led to the second floor, pretty crystal sconces on the walls. The foyer alone was as big as a studio apartment. Beyond it, he saw a sitting room, with a vintage marble fireplace–fire lit and crackling of course–and some cream and grey furniture. Floor to ceiling windows overlooking the garden. And a shocked looking young woman, who stood in the wide archway, staring at him with her mouth open. Just then, another young woman came down the stairs, her hair wrapped in a towel, clearly wearing Elain’s clothes.

Pinky returned, after almost knocking one of the girls off her feet, climbed on top of Azriel’s again and then nudged the toys towards him.

“Are these all for me?” Azriel marvelled, as he sorted through the loot, while Pinky growled over-excitedly, showing off his stuff. “Okay, I am gonna get you one more, which will be a Chelsea ball, so you can rip into it and destroy it,” Azriel cackled maniacally. 

Bark-bark, Pinky barked in complete agreement. 

“You’ve got a nice house, baby boy. That Duke really, really liked granny Elain, didn’t he?” Azriel commented, taking in all the crown moulding, and all the preserved historical features of the home, as he slowly rose to his feet, still holding Pinky in his arms. Pinky was not leaving his embrace any time soon. “You are telling me that he gave her this fucking mansion to just hold her little Ladies Club meetings? I am a footballer with a multi-million pound contract, and I don’t know if I can afford this! It’s gorgeous, matchmaker!”

“It is youuuuu!” the girl who came from the kitchen screamed dramatically.

“It’s me,” he confirmed.

The other one, on the stairs, had a sharp, cold, beautiful face, which lacked Elain’s loveliness and humanity.

“This is Azriel Night,” Elain finally introduced him. “And these are my sisters, Nesta and Feyre Archeron.”

“He was holding Piggy in that pic!” Feyre yelled. “It’s him! How do you know him?” her eyes ping-ponged between the two of them. “How do you know each other?!! I need to know.”

“Ms. Archeron here is finding me a wife,” Azriel said easily, boldly walking down the hallway. 

“I can be a wife!” Feyre offered immediately.

Elain rolled her eyes.

“If you are a client, what exactly are you doing here?” the other one, Nesta, inquired, her tone not quite so friendly.

“Haven’t seen my mate here,” Azriel kissed the top of Piglet’s head, “in five days. That’s too long. Haven’t seen my beautiful matchmaker either. And I came bearing gifts.” 

“You’ve been here before?” Nesta was interrogating him as she followed him like a bloodhound.

Azriel chuckled,

“You must be the dancer who eats the tofu,”

“Excuse me?” Nesta snapped, her eyes wide at the audacity of his words.

“Yeah, I am guessing you are it. Tofu ain’t ever made anybody happy, Ice Queen,” he cocked his brow.

Feyre snorted a laugh. 

“I am a barrister,” Nesta protested loudly. “I only teach dance as a hobby!”

“Hmmm. No, I’ve not been here before,” Azriel added, looking around. Goodness this place was nice! Open concept lounge area with a telly and plush seating, and a sweet, sweet kitchen outfitted with the best appliances and all kinds of gadgets and marble and chrome. “Been meeting my matchmaker in her fancy office. But this,” he placed the bakery bag on the counter, “this is nice. Can I live here? Absolutely!”

Elain cleared her throat, before he got lost in his fantasy and reminded him that he isn’t living here.

Feyre sidled by the counter, looking at Azriel with stars in her eyes. 

“You must be the maker of the dod– the salmon,” Azriel stopped himself just in time.

“She told you about that?!” Feyre gasped, but unlike her sister, she was happy.

“Yeah, what else did she tell you exactly?” Nesta demanded.

“Well, Pink loved the salmon,” Azriel lied, patting Piglet’s back, “and he cried over the tofu, but it’s no fault of yours, Ice Queen,”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Hmmm…Tofu is just a plate of sadness, innit?”

“So he liked the salmon?” Feyre breathed, eyes big and happy.

“Oh sure!” Azriel said easily. “I hear you like to experiment in the kitchen. I have this cousin–Rhys,” he gave Feyre a frank one-over and added, “I kinda feel like you might be his type,”

“I am sorry, I am sorry,” Elain went so far as to pull on his sleeve, “you are now doing the matchmaking?”

“Looks like I am,” Azriel smiled and opened his arms with pretend innocence. Elain glared at him, unamused. “Are you single?” he then asked Feyre.

“I could be!” she announced and that led to both Elain and Nesta’s aggressive eye rolls.

Watching the three of them, Azriel’s smile widened, while he manoeuvred out of his jacket, while still holding the dog. 

“I’ll be honest,” he began, and Elain moaned, “please don’t be!”

He went on and said, “the Duke and granny Elain banged out quite the gaggle of beauties, didn’t they?!”

The three sisters resembled each other–their faces were similar, and yet completely different too. All three were unusually attractive, though he found Elain to be the most beautiful of the three. Her chocolate brown eyes and the gentle contours of her face contrasted with her sisters’ sharper, more defined features. The three had the same colouring: pale skin, golden brown hair, large eyes, but Elain was different in how she was built–she was more voluptuous, with larger breasts, a softer body, but a tiny little waist, while the other two were thin, athletic, not as sensuous, more in line with what was currently popular. 

“You know about great-granmaman Elain?” Feyre exclaimed. “How?!”

“Oh, I know a lot,” he said mysteriously, and then his eyes fell on a painting that was artfully illuminated and hung on the wall between the lounge and the sitting room. He approached it, with Feyre and Elain trailing him, while Nesta took a seat behind the island. 

The painting, vaguely impressionist in style, was of an absolutely breathtaking woman–she wore a blue hat and sat in front of a bunch of roses.

“Is this granny Elain?” he asked.

('Granny') Elain Archeron (commissioned by the Duke of Velaris), better known as 'A Lady in Blue' 1892 (private collection)

“Yes,” Feyre piped in.

“No surprises here, then. I’d tap that too! Who wouldn’t…”

Elain gasped and covered her mouth, and Feyre burst into nervous laughs.

Nesta sneered, “Are you always this uncouth?”

“Yes,” Azriel nodded firmly and shrugged. “Ms. Archeron here’s been working on that with me, but…no success yet. But we’ll continue. Also, Ice Princess, I don’t know what to tell you, but your granny was spicy hot. Just because it was, what, 120 years ago, doesn’t change the fact that she was a damn beauty. Like the three of you, pretty lasses.”

He swirled on his heels and returned to the island. 

“So, what does your cousin like to eat?” Feyre inquired innocently. “And does he look like you?”

“He likes soup,” Azriel said simply.

“Any soup?” Feyre confirmed and then turned to Elain and whispered, “do you know how to make soup?”

“Yeah. I think just about any soup,” Azriel said and then gently set Pinky down on the floor. “But no cheatin’. You have to cook your own. I know my pretty matchmaker can cook anything, but you can’t be going on and cheating, Miss Feyre, and askin’ Ellie to cook the soup for you.”

Feyre bit her lip nervously.

“But,”

“Naw. Ellie’s soup is for me. Rhysie’s soup–well, that’s all you.”

Nesta remained silent during the exchange, and Azriel’s wild ramblings, but her icy, steely eyes darted between him and Elain, between Feyre and him. 

“Yeah, and he is a pretty, pretty man. He thinks he is more handsome than me, which is obviously absurd,”

All three women laughed at his display of mad confidence.

“But he’s a looker, certainly.”

Azriel then rolled up his sleeves, exposing his tattooed arms and both sisters saw the scars, but naturally neither one mentioned it. He washed his hands in the huge sink and then Nesta demanded unapologetically,

“What are your designs for my sister?”

“Nesta!” Elain cried out, horrified and embarrassed.

“Nesta,” Feyre also gasped. 

Azriel took it pretty well, and only smirked.

“Elain and you,” Nesta continued, “you two can’t possibly have anything in common. And you seem to be quite comfortable here, with her and the dog and I don’t want you to give her false hopes,”

“Nesta, what the hell?” Elain glared at her angrily. Under the counter, Piglet growled threateningly.

Azriel was pretty blase about the conversation, and said,

“If you don’t mind, Nesta, I’ll reveal my designs, as you call it, for Elain and Pinky a little later on,”

“His name is Piglet,” Nesta snapped.

“Nevermind. It’s a whole thing,” Elain sighed.

“Oh, now you have ‘things’ together?”

“We do have things together,” Azriel said, his tone still light, but now firmer. His eyes bore into Nesta, and he added, “Elain’s been very kind to me, a fascinating conversationalist, brilliant, fun and funny and challenging, and yet accepting of me. I know the dog’s name is Piglet, but it should be Pinky. So, like I said, Ice Princess, I will reveal my nefarious plans later on.

“Now, lasses, how about I make you breakfast? If I may say so myself, I make a mean bacon butty. But I’ll up the ante and add a fried egg,”

“That’s not a bacon butty,” Nesta argued coolly. “It's an egg and bacon sandwich.”

“Well, then that’s what you’ll eat,” Azriel shrugged and plopped a bunch of bacon rashers into the pan. He noticed how Elain hid her smile and turned away when he dismissed her prickly sister so easily. Feyre then busied herself with making mimosas for everyone, while Nesta did not offer to help. Azriel didn’t care. What he did was he lightly grabbed Elain’s long braid and pulled her closer.

“Seriously?” she hissed. 

He tugged on it and smirked, “I’ve always wanted to do that”.

“What? Pull a girl’s hair?” she elbowed him lightly, but he boxed her in and handed her freshly baked bread rolls, while taking a deep whiff of her hair, and softly rubbing his nose over the top of her head. His voice was quiet when he murmured so only she could hear. Thankfully, Feyre was making a ton of noise, trying to coax Pinky from behind Azriel’s legs, but the dog was rather comfortable where he was, and wouldn't respond to offers of ‘hugs’.

“Oh, I’ve pulled girls’ hair before. Many girls’,” he admitted into Elain’s ear. “Don’t mind it at all…”

“Mr. Night,” she growled at him, as she savagely buttered each roll.

“I said I wanted to pull a girl’s braid. Never got to do it when I was growing up!” and he pulled on it again.

“You are ridiculous!”

“Maybe. But don’t be murdering that bread, beautiful.”

“Should I murder you?”

“Not yet. I’ve got some attributes that you might want to use…for your entertainment.”

Elain whipped her face to him, her eyes wide and her pink mouth open.

He smiled at her and then pressed his forehead to hers.

“Mr. Night,” was all she could manage.

“Ms. Archeron,” he responded in kind. 

There was a long pause between the two of them, as the world seemed to fall apart and silent all around them. Elain wanted to say something, but what could she say? She had her professional reputation to uphold and he…well, he was unavailable. In every possible way. Nothing could happen between the two of them. Besides, he…well, Nesta was right. They had nothing in common. They were too different. Also, 

She pulled away and wanted to break away from his overwhelming presence, from his massive body, from his heat, from his clean, sharp, pine-y scent. 

“Mr. Night,” she said crisply. “I heard from Ms. Raith,”

“Who is Miss Raith?” he frowned, as he turned the bacon in the pan, but didn’t move, continuously caging her between himself and the counter. 

“Nuala!”

“Oh yeah, Nuala,” he nodded calmly. “Nice girl.”

“She said that you were nice too. So much so, you went on three dates, in one week.”

He nodded.

“You certainly are not one to waste time,” she noted tartly.

“Not at all,” he agreed, “time constraints n’all. Feyre darling, can you grab the eggs and pass them to me?” he requested, as he was clearly unwilling to step away from Elain.

Feyre’s eyes darted between the two of them, while she asked timidly, “You are dating, Mr. Night?”

“Well,” Azriel gently drew his index finger over Elain’s cheek and tucked a stray hair over her ear, making her shudder against him, “my matchmaker here is trying to get me to date,”

“You are dating!” Elain exclaimed.

Deftly, he began an assembly line of loading buttered rolls with bacon, while he cracked three eggs into the hot pan and they sizzled in the bacon fat.

“No,” he corrected. “I went on a coupla dates. That’s not the same as ‘dating’.”

“What’s the difference?” 

Azriel worked the spatula around the eggs, making sure the edges were crispy, but the yolks remained nice and soft and creamy.

He placed the eggs inside the buns and then moved each one onto a plate and pushed them towards each girl.

“Enjoy, my three beauties,” he said with flourish and sat back on the stool, wrapping his arm around Elain’s waist, and pulling her into his lap.

“Mr. Night!!!” she flailed pathetically, while Feyre laughed, watching her sister’s arms and legs wave in the air. Nesta maintained her standoffish silence and only sipped her coffee, watching them. Piglet got real excited and hopped up, before getting up on his hind leg and putting his paws on Azriel’s knee.

Grunting, Azriel scooped him up with one arm, and placed him in his lap as well. He held Elain firmly around her hips, his arm more like a manacle than a human arm, and announced happily, 

“Alright now, got my girl, got my dog.”

No matter how much Elain squirmed and attempted to slide off his thick, muscular thigh, she couldn’t. She could barely move. She was all discombobulated, his body hot behind her, his arm entirely too thick with muscles, his breath on her neck. 

“Mr. Night!” she mumbled for what felt like the 100th time today. She had no words. Nothing was left. Only him. Lately, there was ever only him.

“Feed us, beautiful,” he urged her. “I got my hands nice and full.”

“Or I can get off your lap and you can feed yourself!” she gritted out. 

“Ms. Archeron, you tend to try to take all the fun out of things,” he admonished. “Good thing I never listen to you!”

“No you really never do,” she pouted, but cut her breakfast sandwich in half and then turned around and pushed it to his mouth. He took a hefty bite and smiled as he chewed.

“Eat, crazy pug lady,” he encouraged. “Eat.”

“I can’t believe I have to feed you,” she grumbled, while she tasted her own half of the sandwich and ohmygod, was it delicious! It was possibly the tastiest thing she’s ever eaten. She gave a piece of bacon to Piglet, which he polished instantaneously, and then whined for more. 

“What do you say, Ice Princess?” Azriel asked.

“What should I say,” Nesta shrugged. “Should I sue you for sexual harassment of my sister?”

“Pretty matchmaker, am I harassing you?” Azriel whispered, his nose skimming the side of Elain’s cheek.

“You certainly aren’t behaving like a client!” she told him sternly, but then fed him another piece of his sandwich, and a bit of egg to Piglet.

“Seems like you can’t sue me after all. My matchmaker likes me, don’t you, beautiful?”

“Don’t get cocky,” Elain warned. Azriel tugged her closer, his dick dangerously close to her ass, and then pulled her braid.

“I think you two should date!” Feyre decided definitively, mopping some yolk with the bread.

“No, we should not!” Elain snapped. “I don’t date clients and he is already dating!”

“Am I?” Azriel drank a bit of his coffee, while Feyre fed Piglet. 

“You are!”

“If you are talking about Nuala, then I am afraid I have to tell you that it’s not going to work out,” Azriel sighed.

Elain turned on his thigh to face him, her brows scrunched together.

“What do you mean?!” she demanded. “Why? Nuala said it went really well. She was so excited to continue seeing you…”

Azriel chewed his lip and told her, his tone serious,

“She is lovely. A wonderful person. Really. The match was good. You did really well,” he complimented her, though Elain looked kind of upset. He cupped her cheek in his hand and gently drew this thumb over her cheekbone. “But I think we are in different places in our lives.”

“How do you mean?”

“If I marry, I would want to build a family quickly. A house, a child–a proper family. Then, even more children. She isn’t in that place yet in her life. Everything is ‘eventually’. She wants to get married, but from then on, things are very fluid in her mind. Eventually a house. Eventually children. Eventually, eventually. 

“I want it soon. Not eventually.”

“Well, you should’ve told me that!” Elain fumed, “so I could’ve added it to your profile!”

“Sorry, beautiful,” he said calmly, his eyes never leaving hers. “But now you know. I want to marry. And I want to have children. And if I marry, I marry for life. There is no divorce in my equation. So you better be fucking committed, because there is no way I am letting my wife go–there ain’t gonna be any cheating or any bullshit like that. We commit to each other for life, we love each other, and when I say ‘till death does us part’ I meant it. I am not here to experiment with marriage. I am planning on fucking my wife all the time, and have her want it and ask for more. I know that I will love her, and she will love me. And then we make babies. And we love them and raise them and we are a family. I want Christmas celebrations, and Sunday roast, and little rubber boots lined up by the entrance, and carrying sleeping babies upstairs after a movie night, ice cream cones in the park, and picking strawberries in the summer. I want to come home and see you and them baking at the counter, flour everywhere. I want to kick the ball with my boys and ride a bike with my girls. All of it. I want all of it.”

Elain blinked at him, because his gaze was so intense, and he was still stroking her face. Her mouth was open hearing his fierce demands which amounted to a confession. This was his perfect life. She told him about her perfect day, and he told her about his perfect life. And it wasn’t far from her own perfect life. And for some reason, she felt tears gather in her eyes.

Feyre glanced at Nesta, who was watching them silently with her glacial stare. Feyre made her eyes huge, trying, unsuccessfully, to be discreet, while she attempted to attract Nesta’s attention as if Nesta couldn’t see what was going on. 

At last, Elain cleared her throat and murmured, “Yes. I understand.”

“Good,” Azriel’s thumb made slow circles over the apple of her cheek. “Very good.”

“So now…” Elain murmured, confused.

He glanced at his watch and said, “Now, I gotta go, lass. I've got training in less than an hour.”

“But Nuala,”

“I’ll work it out with Nuala,” he promised. “I won’t leave her heartbroken. She is a good lass.”

“Now what?”

“The search continues I suppose,” he said lightly. Then, he carefully set Elain on the floor and got off the bar stool. Slinging his arm around her waist, he tugged her alongside him and they went back to the foyer. Piglet trotted next to Azriel, very ready to go out now and have a nice walk. But instead, Azriel picked up the bag that he brought with him and said,

“Alright, I brought something for you two–it doesn’t seem proper that you two have the captain of Arsenal as your best mate and not have any Arsenal gear!”

He squatted in front of them and Piglet dipped his whole face in the bag, looking for treats.

“First, something for my matey,” Azriel pulled out a baby-sized red t-shirt and draped it over Piglet’s back. 

Elain smiled and Feyre, who was standing next to her now, cooed and gasped with childish squeaks. “It’s so cute!!!” she exclaimed. 

“Obviously, I couldn’t not get you a bow,” Azriel added, taking out a lush red bow, and then, a red baby puffer vest, all branded with Arsenal signage. “Ahhh, not bad, huh?” he nodded a pleased nod.

Elain laced her fingers together, all soft-eyed and happy. Of course when it came to her baby boy, nothing could be too much or too outrageous. 

“Should I get him a little red beanie?” Azriel considered with utmost seriousness. “Would he wear it?”

“Yes, yes!” Feyre nodded, capping. “Get Piggy a wee beanie!”

“We’d have to tie it over his head, I think,” Elain pondered, “but he might wear it. He doesn't like the cold–he might like it in the winter.”

Azriel rubbed Piglet’s back, scratching him lightly and then straightened out, saying, “I’ll get you a few toys, some chewys and some Chelsea shite for you to destroy.”

“You are crazy,” Elain laughed. “But thank you. You shouldn't have, really.”

Azriel stepped closer to her and then pulled another garment from the bag.

He chewed the inside of his cheek, suddenly seeming nervous, and his usual bravado gone. 

Feyre watched the unfolding scene with her mouth slightly opened, completely engrossed in what was happening. Even Nesta stood on her tiptoes, craning her neck and watching them from the hallway.

“It would make me very happy,” Azriel began saying, but then stopped and licked his lips. Elain stood in front of him all pink-cheeked and pretty. He started again, “it’s customary for girlfriends and wives...well,” he rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled loudly. “What I meant to say–and I am not saying that you are either–obviously,” he chucked gruffly, his demeanour tense, “I mean, what I want is,” he thrust the red garment into Elain’s hands. “This…”

Now curious, Elain unfolded the garment and it was a red Arsenal jersey.

The number on the shirt was 14. And the name in the back was A. Night.

She stared at the shirt.

Azriel meanwhile, stared at her.

“I want you to wear it,” he said at last. “Support us. Me.”

Elain rubbed her finger over the jersey and then she glanced at Azriel.

“It’s yours,” she stated softly.

He pursed his lips, but nodded.

“Yours. Your kit,” she clarified.

It was not a brand new jersey, not like Piglet got. It was also massive. She could probably wear it as a dress. And it wasn’t spiffy and shiny like a new one would be. 

“You’ve worn it,”

He nodded. 

“I mean, it’s washed and all,” he assured her.

“It’s alright, Mr. Night, considering your overly familiar manner, I don’t think it even matters. You keep pawing at me like I belong to you.”

At her words, his eyes flashed with some hidden hunger.

“Will you wear it?” he demanded.

“Yes,” she agreed, “I will wear it.”

“You’ll wear my kit. With my name on it?” 

“Well, that’s the only one I got,” she smiled shyly at him. “So yes.”

“You and Pink,” he clarified. “Next time we are playing, you’ll wear it?”

“We will,” Elain nodded and for the first time, her fingers skimmed over his hand on their own accord. “Thank you. Saturday, Arsenal vs Liverpool.”

“Yes.”

“We’ll be there. In spirit. Cheering you on!”

At that, Feyre decided to add her bit and announced, “Me too! I will cheer too. And I don’t even like football!”

Azriel tsked with pretend disappointment and then pulled his jacket on.

“It was a pleasure meeting you, beautiful Archeron sisters! Feyre, Nesta, my Elain. Pinky. I’ll see you later.”

“Thank you for the breakfast!” Feyre exclaimed.

“I was nice meeting you,” Nesta allowed at last. 

Azriel gave Piglet a hearty squeeze and then handed him to Elain, so that the pug didn’t take off after him.

“I’ll see you later, Ms. Archeron.”

-

Once Azriel left, Feyre collapsed on the sofa and roared, “He is so handsome!!!!”

She was fanning herself and babbling, “do you really think he has a hot cousin? What if he introduces us? Do you know how to make soup? What kind of soup? Chicken? Ohmygod, what if he likes borsch?!?! I don’t know how to make that!!! Does anyone know how to make borsch?!!”

Nesta pulled on a pair of socks and then her trainers.

“I gotta go too,” she told Elain. “Thanks for breakfast.”

“Well, he made it,” Elain reminded her.

“Yeah, he did,” Nesta muttered to herself and walked to the door. She opened it, letting a gust of cold, wet air inside and causing Piglet to run back into the kitchen, his tail wiggling wildly.

Feyre flopped on her side on the sofa and then looked at Elain, and said,

“I thought the two of you were going to kiss when he was leaving.”

“What?” Elain gasped, wide-eyed. “What are you talking about?”

“When he was giving you the shirt,” Feyre explained further. “It seemed like you were gonna kiss. He wanted to–I can assure you,”

“And I can assure you that he did not!” Elain argued, feeling her cheeks heat.

“That’s…literally incorrect!” Feyre insisted.

“And that’s literally an incorrect way of using the word ‘literally’,” Elain noted. 

“I don’t know who needs to hear this,” Nesta said calmly, “but probably you,”

“What is it?” Elain asked nervously, because when Nesta spoke like that it could never mean anything good. 

“That man is in love with you.”

[artemfluid]

Recently joined a new smp (Previously Shimmering Rift, now rebranded to Eden's Veil! And it starts tomorrow!)...and here's my character! Doodle!

Doodle is a Satyrwing, a species of my own creation- Satyrwings are basically just satyrs with Avian wings from the fey wild. Anyways Satyrwing culture info dumping below and info about Doodle :3

Satyrwings name their children after what they're most often caught doing. Doodle is named Doodle because when they were a kid, they always were always drawing on the ground.

Satyrwings have no concept of gender, they actually have a cloaca like birds, so anybody can breed with anybody.

Satyrwings also do not track age, they do have different classifications such as: Baby, child, teen, adult, and elder. This is mainly tracked by fur, hair, horn, and wing color & growth.

Now onto Doodle specific things:

Doodle, like their name implies, loves to doodle. They doodle so much, that they moved onto their own body and started to give themselves tattoos.

Doodle's wings are somewhat designed after a redtail hawk, which are common around my area and one of my favorite birds!

Doodle is both a unlabeled gender and sexuality, but are acespec. They don't really use that term, but if you ask how they're attracted to people, they'll answer somewhere within the realm of an acespec description.

Doodles age is unknown, but they seem to present as if they are in their early 20s.

Doodle is quite easily manipulated, amd they dont really see a right and wrong. They will believe almost anybody.

When Doodle gets upset, they stutter, a lot. Although it doesn't happen often, because upsetting them is quite hard.

Doodle isn't fully fluent in English/Common speak. So they do occasionally use words wrong.

And finally here's a random design fact: Their hair is directly inspired by Rika. The minecraft skin version (pictured below) actually took the hair from a Rika skin.

[iamprofessorgod]

After seeing everyone’s opinions on the last episode of CritRole, I have to add in my thoughts.

First of all, the side bringing in the fact that Ashton is manipulative didn’t mean it in that way.

They were saying that Ashton was wrong for not allowing Fearne to tell the group she didn’t want the shard. (Which she was about to do, but they played it off as if she were joking. Knowing that the Hells would believe them). Then they go on to bring her on their suicidal journey with a great possibility of her getting killed as well.

And for those who keep saying “She didn’t want the shard, who else would they have given it to?”

IDK maybe they should have taken the discussion to the group, instead of pursuing their plan.

Oh and also isn’t that the shard that Lud used against the fey wild of course she wouldn’t want to have it.

Also for those saying that we’re babying Fearne, it isn’t like that. Everyone knows that very rarely does anyone check on Fearne. She legit died and was brought back to make one of the hardest decisions this whole campaign. (Now adding this scenario)

Don’t even get me started on the glass that she was given and held on to through out the start of the campaign to give to her parents. And not even a couple hours later was shattered. And they didn’t even apologize.

All I’m saying is that everyone in this campaign has their emotional baggage, but the decision they made was completely reckless and could’ve been far worse if it wasn’t for Fearne and FCG. Matt saying Allura cares more about Whitestone than them pretty much sums up how immense the damage would’ve been if it weren’t for the healers.

[cb-writes-stuff]

points. give me a lore dump about your dnd campaign/characters

Do you have any idea what you’ve just unleashed?

*CLAP*

LEMME TELL YOU ‘BOUT (almost) ALL THE CHARACTERS I’VE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO PLAY.

Cut because this is really long. “Keep reading”, in this case, is a command.

The Developed Ones

1. Lina - Changeling Twilight Cleric/Wild Magic Barbarian

Lina doesn’t know who her biological parents are. As a baby, she was adopted by a tiefling couple who raised her as their own. They knew she was a changeling, and they didn’t condemn her for it. But… they weren’t the most supportive, either. They told her to always stay as the Lina that looks like their daughter. Brown hair, ram-like horns, peachy skin, the works. Often, she’d get rid of the horns at night, since they weren’t comfortable to sleep in. That earned her more than one scolding.

From an early age, Lina wasn’t really sure what her identity was. She was born as Lina, so that should make her Lina. But, that was just the name she was given. Her parents called her their daughter, called her Lina, but was that enough? Is Lina her? Or is Lina the diligent tiefling daughter her parents raised? Well, okay, then she is her body. But, if her Lina-ness is so uncertain, then how can that define her?

One particularly stormy night, hours after she was supposed to be home, she was taking shelter under a tree, too tired and scared to be anything but her natural self, gray-skinned and black-haired. Then she met her future mentor, a dwarf Cleric of Twilight. He took escorted her home, told her about his temple, and said she should visit sometime. Not long after, she ran away from home. Religion gives people a sense of identity, right?

At first, it was going great. For one thing, she was fascinated by the divine connections between day and night, between light and dark. She knew who she was: an acolyte of the Twilight domain, and later, a Cleric of it. For another, she got to wear pajamas all the time. Sure, no one else did it, but neither did they judge her. They’d even compliment her on it. It was fun to be “the girl with the pajamas”.

But still, it wasn’t enough. Those were just things she was doing, not who she was. And what identity it did offer was insubstantial. The very thing she served, that she claimed to follow wholeheartedly, was forever insubstantial, never concrete, neither day nor night, neither light nor dark. So she fell back into despair.

One day, in one of the weekly services, the head priest taught on the “evils of fey”. Fey, he said, are wholly evil creatures, who only seek to cause misery and sow confusion. He listed many examples, but the worst of them all was changelings. They wear a thousand faces, and can switch between them at will. They could easily replace anyone, and for all you know, they have. How do you know your brother isn’t a changeling? Or your wife? It’s impossible, of course. It would never happen in their temple, but the fact that they can make you question it is evil in itself. The best thing to do is kill any fey you encounter. This, obviously, did not sit well with Lina. She was at her lowest point, considering turning herself in to… well…

Before she had the chance, her mentor came to talk to her. They’d lost touch with each other over the years, and it was nice to see him again—for a few seconds. He was the only person who knew what she was, so she had to run. It’s hard to get by a dwarf, though. He assured her, he wasn’t going to out her. Rather, he had a message for her that came directly from their deity: “You are. This is enough. Now go.” So, Lina set off on adventure because, as she interprets it, she’ll find her identity out in the world.

Lina refuses to wear armor, or anything other than her pajamas. She didn’t wear them for this long to stop wearing them now. She is also extremely protective of them, and is enraged when they’re damaged. Once she brutally and mercilessly kills whoever tore her pajamas, she calms down. Unfortunately, she loses control of her divine magic when blinded by fury—or rather, she can still control it, but she just goes absolutely wild with it without thinking.

2. Quinn - Centaur Totem Barbarian

Full name, Eleanor Quinn Fieldrunner, of the Fieldrunner Clan. Goes by Quinn because too many people called her “E. Quinn” and she never found it funny.

In her clan, wisdom is prized above all else, whether spiritual, intellectual, emotional, or tactical. Everyone has their job, and you must strive to be the best at what you do. Everyone has to decide what wisdom they will seek, and where.

Quinn could never decide, though. Her family called her lazy when her only aspiration was to come back with the hunting party alive. Eventually, she had enough. She wanted to leave. Simply leaving wasn’t an option, though, so she told people she was going to “become wise in the world, to know what’s out there, and… y’know, stuff.” And it worked, so she left and started adventuring.

As a Barbarian, she wears wrappings instead of armor. Centaurs are meant to be free and mobile, not burdened by suits of metal. She also has to deal with being a centaur in a world of non-centaurs. Everywhere she goes, she gets looks, because “woah, a centaur”. She always has to correct people, that they’re her withers, not her hips, as she sassily puts her hands on her withers. In taverns, she has to tell people to stop looking at her flanks. It’s fair the first time, but if they do it excessively she gets annoyed.

3. Erthwyn Dinfire - Water Genasi Glamour Bard

A bard from the Elemental Plane of Water, Erthwyn is known across many worlds, his songs sung on countless planes of existence. Yes, in fact, he’s quite surprised you don’t know the Worlds-Famous Erthwyn Dinfire.

At least, that’s the story he tells people. In reality, he’s from Brookside, a village between two brooks that merge into a river, which feeds into a lake. He and the other kids played there a lot. The lake, as it turned out, was suffused with a marid’s magic, but Erthwyn is the only water genasi in the village. Though his human parents would never tell anyone, this is because he was conceived on the lakeshore.

Anyway. His parents were never sure what to feel about him. Sure, he was their child, and they tried their best to love him, but it was strange to have such a child.

One day, a bard came through the village, and Erthwyn wanted to go see. Turns out, it was the famous adventuring bard Nirv Ané, a tiefling with blue skin and hair like clouds. Since Brookside is the boonies, though, they’d never heard of her. Her songs were of drows and orcs, goblins and yuan-ti, all doing great, heroic deeds. Erthwyn was surprised. He asked her, how could she sing songs praising species that people usually thought of as evil? She explained, she does it because she’s tired of hearing about humans and elves and dwarves—she’d adventured with all three. She wanted to tell stories about people that were feared, especially unfairly. She wanted to change things.

In that moment, Erthwyn had a revelation: bards are really cool. From then on, whenever he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, he’d say he wanted to become a bard. And he did. And what do bards do besides become famous? So he tells people he’s famous and composes songs about all the adventures he’s never had. Eventually, he’ll be famous for being famous, and then the whole thing will just sustain itself.

Deep down, he really wants to be a bard so he can change what people think about him, especially his parents. He’s not just a genasi, or a weird version of the kid they were supposed to have. He’s not a gimmick, or a novelty. He’s a person, and he can do things.

He knows other genasi exist, but he avoids them like the plague so they don’t out him as a liar. Same with anyone who studies magic or the like, but because they might actually know stuff about the Elemental Planes and reveal how much he made up (basically all of it).

(Some of Nirv Ané’s hits include “Fragrances Similar to an Adolescent Ghost”, “Regarding a Maiden”, and “Every Pardon-begging”.)

(Yes, his name is an Earth, Wind, & Fire reference. And he’s a water genasi to complete the four elements. And I think it’s hilarious.)

4. Qiana - Plasmoid Astral Monk

Seven cultists are gathered around a table in a dark room, an angel strapped down to the table. Their hands are interlocked, forming a continuous circle, keeping the angel drained of power. An eighth cultist surgically extracts a cubic inch of her flesh and puts it in a crystalline tube and closes the door. The tube fills with salt water. The cultists begin chanting, casting the Clone spell to create a soulless body with all the power of an angel, so they can animate it for their own purposes. Finally, after an hour of constant chanting, the cube transforms… into a viscous, kinda-gross glob of pink goop. The head cultist turns to the angel, raging. “What have you done?” Restrained, powerless, unable to help herself, in absolutely no position of power, the angel laughs. “The body of an angel is too holy to be created by such evil magic.” That only stokes the cultist’s fury. He conjures a wicked green flame into his hand, intending to burn the soul straight from her body and use it as their puppet instead.

Meanwhile, a group of paladins approach the entrance to the ritual chamber. To the side is a desk with a little woman behind it, the receptionist, not looking up from her work. The paladins stand there politely. One clears his throat and she looks up. “Do you have an appointment?” she asks. The lead paladin, unsure what else to say, tells her, “Uh… yes?” “Name?” He gives his name in the way people give their names to receptionists. “Stormwind Thundercall, Champion of Justice, Herald of Compassion, Exemplar of Purity, Mighty Protector of Good, Crusader of Light, Keeper of the Dayblade, Ninth Protector of the Great Weave, Holy Paladin of the Lady of Might, Mistress of Magic, Power Incarnate, and the One True Spell, Mystra.” She flips through a few pages. “I don’t see an appointment for—” She thinks for a moment. “For you.” “Well, can we call it a walk-in?” She looks at him levelly. “You can’t go in without an appointment.” One of the other paladins sniffs the air and whispers to Stormwind, “Sir, she’s a fiend.” Stormwind has had enough of this, and starts walking to the door. A thick black tentacle reaches from behind the desk and blocks it. “I said,” she hissed, rising from the desk and revealing a very tentacle-y lower half, “you can’t go in without an appointment.”

As the head cultist is about to burn the angel’s soul out, a group of paladins bursts through the door. “Your receptionist is dead.” An intense battle breaks out, holy paladin magic against evil cultist magic. In a Hail Mary to weaken the paladins, one of the cultists casts Antimagic Field. “Wait, NO—” The spell is cast. The beefy paladins look at the squishy casters. The squishy casters look at the beefy paladins.

With the cultists dead and the rest of the temple being cleared out, Stormwind frees the angel from her restraints. Casually, he asks, “How was it? Not too bad, I hope?” “Ah, I’ve had worse.” She looks at the back of her thigh. “My leg healed pretty well too.” Stormwind nods. “No one imprisons an angel of Mystra without facing retribution.” The angel smiles a little uncomfortably, and thinks, Paladins are all the same. The other paladins return, reporting that the rest of the cultists didn’t put up much of a fight. They’re all dead. “Um, what’s… that?” The paladin points to the pink goop in the test tube. They all find it kinda gross. Stormwind raises an eyebrow at the angel. She takes a closer look, using some sort of magic. “It’s… alive. In the same way that a vegetable is alive. I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” Stormwind nods and signals for the paladins to move out. The angel lingers a little longer, gazing upon the goop. I’m sure it won’t be a problem… Probably.

Years pass, the pink goop slowly absorbing the salt water. When all the water is gone, it’s grown to about 2½ square feet. It wakes up, unaware of what senses it has, feeling nothing but the ground beneath it and the crystal of the test tube. No one enters the temple. Then, months later, the ceiling begins to crumble, and for the first time the pink goop becomes aware of new senses. Light enters the temple, and the pink goop realizes it can see. It feels the sun on its membranes, cells vibrating and moving faster with heat. External vibrations in the air become birds singing and wolves howling. More months pass, and the pink goop is alone. It has thoughts, but has no vocabulary. It has never heard speech. It has never even encountered a living creature.

It’s been decades. No one remembers what the crumbling, ruined temple was once used for. Suddenly, the overgrowth is disturbed by a few monks, distracted from their pilgrimage by curiosity. Inside, they find a crystal test tube, a pool of viscous pink goop inside. One of them, a halfling, goes up to the tube and taps it tentatively. The pink goop ripples, waking up, and directs its light receptors at her. It’s in awe, with no words to describe the feeling. For the first time in its life, it sees another living creature. For the first time in its life, it has a desire. If only it had the words, it would think, “I want to be like this. I want to be like this moving thing.” The pink goop tries to shape itself, slowly, laboriously, assuming a new shape. It molds itself, forming rudimentary arms and legs, then a head and hair, positioning its many receptors in what seem to be the right places. (It would have to fix them later.) When the pink goop settles, it’s in the very vague shape of a young girl. It lays prone, limbs spread out in a star, in the test tube, looking up at the monk.

The monk, very spooked, calls over her friend. “What is this?” she asks. “I don’t know,” says the other, a dragonborn, “but… it is trapped. Whether it knows its own cage or not, it is trapped. Stand back.” The second monk channels ki, and thin, delicate arms appear in the air beside her. Translucent blue, they are ethereal—a product of her ki. With them, she punches the glass, shattering it instantly. Shards fall on the pink goop-girl, sinking through as in molasses. The goop-girl watches them curiously. “Come here, little one,” the monk says, offering a hand. With great effort, the pink goop-girl flips herself over, and struggles to crawl to the monk’s hand, having absolutely no experience moving with legs, much less moving at all. Awkwardly, she rose onto her feet, wondering. It reminded the monks of a baby, learning its legs were able to support its full weight.

The pink goop-girl tentatively reaches for the monk’s hand. Upon making contact, she begins absorbing the skin. That’s new. She’d never encountered organic matter before. The monk yanks her hand away. Though her scales weren’t absorbed at all, it still stings. Trying to suck the pain from her index finger, she reached for the pink goop-girl with an ethereal hand. The goop-girl reaches for it, her hand engulfing it completely and giving her ample support. The two monks nod to each other, satisfied that they figured out a solution. Together, they walk out. The monks waiting outside are quite surprised to see a girl made of pink goop stumbling beside them.

The goop-girl travels with them on the rest of their pilgrimage, and they teach her to walk, and talk, and write, and everything else they think of. Finally, they arrive at the monastery. They register the goop-girl as an orphan (they can’t think of anything better), and name her Qiana. Once she’s old enough, they initiate her as a monk proper, and teach her according to the traditions of the Way of the Astral Self.

(There was originally going to be a comic about how Qiana even exists, since plasmoids are more sci-fi than fantasy. I mean, they come from Spelljammer, for crying out loud.)

(Would y’all read a story about Qiana? After revisiting this, I might write one.)

And now…

The gem 〜★

5. Ocha - Tiefling Shepherd Druid

Once upon a time, there was a husband and wife, both humans, who loved each other dearly. One day, the husband became very sick. The town physician said he couldn’t help, no medicine he had could heal him. The wife went to the nearby city, but the doctor there said the same thing. No medicine could heal her husband. He was as good as dead.

Grief-stricken, the wife returned home to her husband. With labored breath, he told her of the stories he heard as a child, of a dryad that lived in the forest. No, she said, she would not turn to such a creature for help. The husband assured her, only the dryad could make an antidote powerful enough to cure him. Reluctant, she packed her bags and made the journey deep into the heart of the dryad’s woods.

The dryad was waiting beneath the branches, tending nature itself as if a garden. Dryad of the woods, said the wife, I have come for your help. The dryad paid no mind, growing flowers. In her own time the dryad asked the wife, help with what? The wife explained that her husband was very sick, and no one could help him. The dryad listen, and thought, and told her: I can give you an antidote, but it will cost you greatly. The wife asked what the dryad would have from her. You are no mother, the dryad said, so give me your firstborn child. The wife was mortified at such a demand. But she had no choice, her husband came closer to death every day. So she made the deal, and left the forest, antidote in hand.

Many years later, the wife was with child. She remembered the deal she made with the dryad, but she had a plan. She would hide away with the child, so the dryad could never find them. The time came for the child to be born. The midwife fainted, and they thought her dead. The child had bony stubs on its temples, and eyes entirely emerald green with no white or pupil. The wife had given birth to a hideous tiefling.

When the dryad came for the child, the husband and wife were ready and waiting. Take it, the wife said, you do me a great service. She thrust the thing upon the dryad and slammed the door shut.

The dryad looked at the child in her arms. How could they have such a thing? She thought the bouncing babe, with his fledgeling horns and incredible green eyes. She’d never had a plan for what to do with the child… And his parents had abandoned him…

Returning to her woods, infant in her arms, the dryad made up her mind. She would raise the child as her own, teaching him the ways of the dryad.

Meet Ocha! Or, a guy who introduces himself as Ocha. He’d never give you his actual name. That’s not how fey role. He was raised by a dryad, who he calls Dryad-Mom. He’s a child about heart and innocent about everything (even the ruthlessness of nature, which he knows all about). He always follows fey customs and etiquette, even though no one else does. He will simply announce “I’m coming in!” very politely and lightly rather than ask permission to enter, or knock. He also heats up his food slightly so it wasn’t entirely made by someone else. He also swears in Sylvan.

(His name, “Ocha”, is the Japanese word for tea, from a disagreement I had with a friend over how he word “tiefling” is pronounced.)

This dumb doodle is somehow the only art I have of him. He doesn’t know.

I think the funniest part of this drawing is that none of the crossed out things are powders.

This took me all day to write. You asked for a loredump, and you got it. My palm hurts from holding my phone. I hope you’re happy.

[lilythulart]

My first (good) set of handmade dice! I needed something special to master the wild beyond the witchlight, so I made them with extra fey vibes. I’m so proud of how they came out, I love my shiny math babies so much

[lyinginbedmon]

Now that folks are bored to tears of Tolkien fantasy races I want to see a real Cambrian explosion of funky fantasy friends.

Elves with 4 eyes and vestigial membranous wings because they’re extremely-distantly related to fey creatures and still get queasy when they have to leave the forests.

Dwarves with grey scales, nictitating membranes, and spit that can melt inferior alloys and they freak out a little when they see the sun.

Halflings that have really big eyes and disproportionate features and high-pitch voices because looking like the baby version of a commonplace predator is absolutely a winning strategy actually.

Gnomes with a second pair of arms on their chest that are really good at fine manipulation but really weak musculature so they’re basically constantly collecting fidget toys like magpies to keep them in shape.

Just go wild with it all.

[creacherkeeper]

lost township: the homegame

howdy yall :D i made a post like this a while ago that very much needed to be updated and i simply talk about and tag characters from lost township a lot so i wanted to have an easy place to reference for what in the hell im talking about and something to throw at people when i want to infodump. so!!

the game:

lost township is a d&d homegame set in a fictionalized, magical 1880s wild west. its set in the american-equivalent country the democracy of silver and includes all of the magic that we know from typical d&d games. it's based in the town of lost, in the state of undersun, sandwiched between harsh deserts and the mountains

the pcs:

cass bluebell - she/her - human drunken master monk - played by @strangetorpedos

cass is the owner of the saloon in lost and mother to adopted 6 year old davey. she's stoic, fair, and always just a little too weary for all the things on her plate. she took over the saloon about 5 years ago after the murder of her mother by the mysterious assassin the brownbird, and spent years trying to solve the murder to no avail (until recently). middle aged repressed lesbian on main, didn't sign up for this shit - art

divine shook - she/her - aasimar eloquence bard + oath of the bear paladin - played by @masculinepeacock

divine is the schoolteacher in lost and lives with her wife sarah and brother-in-law hawk. former southern belle of the rich intervention family, now barely scraping by as the breadwinner of the household. chronically babygirl coded, ultimate bambi lesbian. is the angel of the deer god of poetry but currently follows the bear god of fire and families and talks to her god like she's her mom (she is in their hearts). currently dating(?) sheriff lizzie - tag

maeve marigold - she/her - kalashtar psychopomp sorcerer - played by kaity

maeve is a former sex worker turned recently hired psychopomp of the raven queen, soon to be doing the psychopomp thing full time. she always has the most insane response possible no matter what the question was and does not know how to read. she also did not know what a psychopomp was when she agreed to be one. is currently under the tutelage of latrowe, the raven queen's current psychopomp, and has been being plagued by dreams and nightmares she knows aren't her own

morel - they/them - firbolg knowledge cleric / spores druid - played by @floralprintshark

morel is the local witch doctor and prophet of the god of fungi and decay. lived on the outskirts of lost for many years, providing free healthcare to the vulnerable townsfolk who weren't safe with the town's stuffy doctor. after pining for years, finally in a relationship with cat after the "unfortunate" murder of her former husband, and jointly raising her daughter kitten and their mysteriously delivered baby juniper. goth sad cow - tag

onion - they/he/she - fey shepherd druid / fey wanderer ranger - played by @paladinbaby

onion is a smuggler and deliverer of changelings who was introduced to the party with the task of safely transporting them from lost to the neighboring state. he's Fey Neurodivergent and a bit of a grumpy messy dyke (gender neutral) who doesn't have a ton of connections but cares about his people very deeply. chosen family with waylon squad and best friends with brandi - tag

will orville - he/him - werewolf gunslinger fighter - played by @punkbarbarian

will is an "investigator" (mercenary) who was brought to town under instructions to find and kill the brownbird and then ended up staying because he is a big old sad puppydog who needed to learn to love again and is. he is so so autism dad on main and cries at the drop of a hat (affectionate). currently dating scruggs, the first relationship he's been in since his husband was killed 13 years ago - tag

the npcs:

brandi carlile "the brownbird" - she/he - aasimar wild card rogue + arcane archer fighter + vengeance paladin

white hat assassin and angel of the jackalope god of chaos and death. her father was the singular prophet of her god who was responsible for raising the jack to godhood until he was assassinated when she was a young child. now she kills mostly bad men, mostly other followers of the jack. despite that he's both very excitable and very wet n pathetic babygirl hours and pretty much just wants to be cared for. long-time best friends with onion and in a Situationship (derogatory) with lizzie - tag

sarah shook - she/they - human wildfire druid

divine's wife and hawk's sister, golden retriever wife guy on main always. excitable, loving, intensely adhd, spends their time gardening, talking folks ears off at the market, and reading smutty books with her wife. refuses to process any of her childhood and she's so normal about it. has a bear cub made of fire named honeysuckle that she was gifted by the bear god. currently making eye emojis at morel and cat - tag

hawk shook - he/him - human wild magic artificer

sarah's brother and divine's brother in law. trying his best but unfortunately his best is not great, fiercely protective and caring but not good at the whole adulting thing. so far unsuccessful at holding down a job but is now working (hopefully long term) for cass at the saloon. slutty, gay, too autistic for his own good. was the originator of the plan for him, sarah, and divine to leave their homestate and find a new place to live after working for divine's awful parents for years - tag

cat clyde stevens - she/her - orc life cleric

former wife of bobby clyde, now partnered with morel, mother of half orc kitten and newly adoptive mother of baby juniper. married bobby and had kitten very young, and was mistreated for years before developing a relationship with morel and finally gathering the courage to call the brownbird and have her kill bobby. shy, nervous, very caring, new to the cleric thing - tag

lizzie no - she/her - coyote shifter crown paladin

former big city reporter, currently the sheriff of lost. protective, prickly, observant, and more than a little neurotic. bitchy dyke fr fr. religious trauma on main. managed to make it to lost after getting shot and got adopted and taken care of by waylon. now sister to kelsey and scruggs. has been in love with divine for Years and is not quite sure what to do now that theyre A Thing. in a Situationship (derogatory) with brandi, and is former friends, almost lovers, enemies, to somethings, queerplatonic idiots with onion (they'll figure it out,,,) - tag

earl scruggs - he/him - orc tundra storm herald barbarian

former child criminal and enemy of the state turned refugee, now waylons "bodyguard" (read: gets paid to do fuckall). big burly russian man, chronic big brother disease, gentle giant who loves to cook and be silly. tboy swag. has to keep up a reputation around town for being mean and tough but is way more emotionally intelligent and caring than most people give him credit for. currently in Some Sort Of Relationship with will (read: they uhauled and haven't talked about it) - tag

kelsey wilson - they/them - changeling inquisitive rogue

delivered to waylon at age 5 by onion after their parents died, now his secretary but actually just professional babiest sibling. so incredibly autism creature, goth lolita stan always, very anxious about interacting with anyone outside their family so simply Doesn't. does not want to grow up because of The Circumstances TM and so keeps themself young using fey magic which is unfortunately giving them chronic fatigue. kind of a bitch - tag

waylon jennings - he/him - zombie, former lore bard

former professional muse, now the benefactor of lost. bitchy old gay man, doing his best to take care of his kids even if isn't always a peaceful house. got turned into a zombie during an outbreak but somehow managed to keep his consciousness and a little of his magic. has been friends with onion for decades but as he's gotten older has come to view her more like a daughter - tag

latrowe - he/him - coyote psychopomp

used to be just a regular coyote, got chosen by morel's god to be a gift to the raven queen and become her psychopomp. showed up in maeve's dreams for a while and is now in the process of training her to be the new psychopomp cause he really misses being. just a dog. very formal and stoic when he's not eating out of your trash, fights with a cool glowing dagger

roo panes - he/him - tiefling scribes wizard

a religious researcher who was supposed to be cataloguing the pantheons of the democracy but ended up parking in lost for a while to study the jack (autism special interest alert). ultimate nerd, way too talkative, twink who's one stiff breeze away from having his bi awakening. currently has a puppy crush on kelsey and hasn't put together that's why scruggs is mean to him

the gods:

ama - she/her - bear god of fire, families, and the home - worshiped by divine and cat, divine is her paladin ata - he/him - bison god of food, families, and the home - worshipped by sarah dakota - he/him - deer god of poetry, beauty, and magic - divine is his aasimar the jack - no pronouns - jackalope god of death, chaos, trickery, survival, and alcohol - worshiped by many townsfolk in lost, including cass's late mother, brandi is the jack's only aasimar kathairein - they/them - vulture god of fungi, decay, and disease - morel is their prophet nidaash - they/them - salmon god of sex, transformation, and journeys the raven queen - she/her - raven god of life and death, knowledge, divination, and the moon - maeve and latrowe are her psychopomps sidewinder - he/him - rattlesnake god of protection, safety, medicine, and the sun - lizzie is his paladin

ship tags:

divine/sarah divine/lizzie lizzie/brandi lizzie/onion will/scruggs + 2

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace

Ep 28

Team Nian can do nothing but win. lolololololol honestly it's hilarious because I hate the emperor and it must be excruciating to have to bite his tongue every time he wants to act against this family. They're just running absolutely wild, stepping up and down his back, and he has to say thank u dear may I have another? 😌

Need to give credit to chasingdramas.com - without whom I would have NO idea what the hell empress and Hua Fei are word-dueling about at the start of this episode.

Now General Nian is tearing down people's houses, making dozens of citizens homeless, to build fancier gardens. His residence is akin to a princes! AHAHAHAHA the emperor has to swallow it down and smile. I love this song.

He won't let uncle see his mom because he knows she would get the empress and empress doweger all fired up 🙈

The comedy continues as the empress is setting up a whole elaborate play as Zhen Huan watches on with, I think (I hope) dubious eyes. oh noe! woe is me!! i am in horrible agony but that dastardly general nian summoned away all the available doctors in the palace at noon for his sick wife! and then, in a COMPLETE COINCIDENCE, I suddenly fell ill myself! oh the agony that I suffer through, such that I must alert every concubine in the palace to witness my suffering attend to me! but don't notify the emperor, who happens to be having a night in with the general's sister! i will just suffer here IN SILENCE. LIKE A VICTIM. 😢

masterful gambit, madame.

The emperor blank-faced watching the glowing Hua Fei as she receives her Imperial Consort Robes was absolutely chilling. Sometimes this drama is so GOOD.

Hell is empty because all the devils are here.

They've pushed him to the point of having to caution Nian... but idk how the emperor feels about being backed into a corner like that. He'll get rid of that family when he's ready and not a moment sooner.

Zhan Huan doing some investigating with her doctor minion. That's right, girl! She's got the empresses' number (good); she thinks she and the empress are on the same team (bad).

Emperor still enjoys playing poli-sci nerds with Zhen Huan. We'll see how long that lasts.

He totally trolled Hua Fei with the garment (or allowed the trolling to happen)

Ling Long set up Consort Qi so well 👏. See baby, I told you to quit whining and be proactive. Now we're cooking.