#And I'm not sure if that's how I'm supposed to do things here

[randombush3]

te hacemos falta

alexia putellas x reader

prologue, que te quiero, busco lo de antes

summary: you wake up but you're not sure where

words: 4715

content warnings: bit of smut

notes: the end was written way before the beginning. i couldn't decide what to do with this for a while but it came to me in the shower earlier today so here we are, finally completed

there will have to be more parts to this because i'm not done yet 🙄

The duvet falls to the floor. 

Swathes of tanned skin spread over your smooth legs, encapsulating, suffocating. It’s good though, so good. And it’s exploration of somewhere familiar, crevasses that she knows, divots that you wish you did. Dimples where muscle tenses and relaxes and veins that throb at the sight of… this. Oh, how she has missed this. 

There’s a hunger in her eyes – desperate, ready. Her tongue is warm and wet as it slides down the valley of your breasts and your stomach and the apex of your thighs. She’s moaning, you’re moaning. It’s a cacophony of sound and pleasure and this might kill you, might just end it all, because is this what it used to be like? Blazing, fiery, passionate sex? 

She sucks and bites and kisses and you’ve never been at anyone’s mercy quite like how you are at hers, back arching, legs clamping tightly until blonde hair and stars are all you can see. Her breath sears and your skin must be branded: ‘Alexia, Alexia, Alexia’ it must say. The sound of your heartbeat pounds in your ears, louder than her name falling from your lips, louder than her appreciation that you are here and doing this. 

It’s better than it ever has been. And it’s building. Climbing, growing more intense. Her tongue swirls your clit and it’s almost enough, your hands gripping the sheets as though that will anchor you on your ascent to Heaven. You might be screaming. She’s making you scream. 

Your stomach drops as you go soaring through the sky. And then it’s gone.

“It’s a sex dream.” You look up, ignoring the heat of your cheeks, trying to remind yourself that you’re allowed to feel like this in therapy. “The same one, right?” 

“I wake up sweating.” 

Your therapist nods, her expression neutral and free of judgement, pen poised on her knee as she waits for your confession to settle, really making you sit in it. Then, she speaks, measured tone like always, “And when you wake up, what’s the first thing you feel?” 

Her question is gentle but purposeful. She is a deliberate woman. 

“Embarrassment, mostly.” She doesn’t quite buy it. “Sometimes I… get off? After?” 

“Are you asking me?” 

“It’s uncomfortable,” you fire back, defensively. “She’s in the next room to me. My daughter is in the same flat. I’m acting like a horny teenager.” 

“Sex is biological. Your body was accustomed to the regular hormone release, a stable sex life. You’re young and you were both in high-stress professions. Is it so absurd for you to crave it?” You shake your head, although her rhetoric is clear. “And as you’ve already said, you’re attracted to Alexia, memories or not.” 

“I’m not blind,” you protest. (Is it really a protest?) 

Your therapist nods again, considering your words with slight amusement. “Not blind,” she repeats. She inhales. “What about the feelings that come with that attraction? Are you angry with yourself for still wanting her, even if the memories aren’t there?” 

The leather sofa creaks as you shift in your seat. You briefly wonder how many people she has made want to die of discomfort in this office, but she’s pretty good, you’ll give her that. “It’s not anger,” you murmur, the tightness in your chest still constricting in its nameless fashion. “It’s… guilt, maybe? Frustration? She looks at me like I’m supposed to remember, like I’m supposed to love her the way she clearly still loves me. And I want to. God, I want to. But I feel like I’m trying to love a stranger.” 

She leans forwards slightly, eyes deep and gentle, subtly glancing at the clock above the door before refocusing on your face. “You said you still feel attracted to her. That’s not nothing. Desire can be a bridge – it is for many relationships.” 

You sigh, rubbing at your temples. Months have dulled the ache of your head, the physical pain of the accident now almost gone, but nothing seems to have stopped your insides from howling in anguish. It echoes in your emptiness. You’re not sure if that makes it worse. “It feels hollow. We wouldn’t have fucked for a while, not if I had Amaia – she would’ve been so young.” The clock ticks over another minute. “And she deserves more than just me physically. It would be failing. Her. Amaia.” The crack of your voice betrays the steadiness of your tone. 

“She’s not asking for perfection,” your therapist says carefully. “She’s asking for effort, for honest. And if she didn’t believe in you, she’d have left, wouldn’t she?” 

“She wouldn’t do that.” 

“She wouldn’t do that to you,” she corrects. 

That merits a pause. It’s true, probably. When you have concocted some kind of response, you shuffle your legs so that they are crossed, one over the other – a pose Alexia had claimed to be the signpost of being ‘lawyered’, shivering as she’d said it. “Every moment we try to connect, I mess it up. She’ll talk about something we did, some moment that was important to us, and I just sit there. Blank. It is only a matter of time until she gets fed up and leaves. She’s surely just patient.” 

“From what you have told me about Alexia, she is not a patient person,” she rebukes. The harshness of her voice is not explicit, more like the piercing shot of a pistol equipped with a silencer. It makes good contact. “Have you told her how this feels for you?” 

You don’t reply. 

“Alexia might be holding onto the version of you from before the accident, the person she remembers,” your therapist continues. “But she’s also here, now, with this version of you. That tells me she’s willing to rebuild, even if it’s from the ground up.” 

Fuck. “You have a point.” 

She smirks. “Of course I do.” 

…

Alexia sits at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee clasped tightly in her hands. The hum of the fridge does nothing to mask the rustling of your sheets, nor the music Amaia thinks is too quiet to be heard. No one is asleep, yet no one is together. She wants to scream. 

Her coffee has long since cooled, her last sip maybe even hours ago. Time is no longer real. Time has fucked her over and she’s really renounced it. 

The decorations are starting to peel their way off, the tree going brown, the batteries in the lights dying. Maybe the horror of Christmas will also be lost, and maybe that’s for the best; awkward gifts, dinners where inside jokes left you on the outside, alcohol doing nothing to jog your memories or ease you into making new ones. Amaia’s birthday also carried that same awkwardness, worse at night, when she had asked to be cuddled and you’d frozen the moment she had fallen asleep on you. 

Nights suck. 

Nights leave space for Alexia to remember everything you don’t, cold in a bed that isn’t hers, with no one there to hold her as tears spill out and make her feel fucking pathetic. She pretends not to notice, but Mapi’s texts get later and later each day, as though she has caught on to the worsening bags under her captain’s eyes and the dark swirl of her mind. 

And at night, under the covers, all Alexia can do is picture you. 

She’d felt the shift when you had come back from Bilbao. She’d seen your body tense – no stranger to its signals. It’s been a waiting game ever since. 

She suspects it has something to do with Amaia. Your responsibility is unfaltering, even if you seem to not recognise it, and it is reminiscent of the first time round, when Alexia had been refused sleepovers and late nights, working with quick makeouts in daylight and steamy kisses in the five minutes you’d allow her to pull over for on your way back home. “My daughter needs me more than you do,” you’d joke, batting her hands away, grinning at the whines she’d let out. “And someone needs to teach you how to wait.”

“So many women would jump at the chance to sleep with me,” would be her instantaneous response. She’d say it to your back, because you’d already be on your way out. 

Sex shouldn’t be on Alexia’s mind like this. She felt guilty about it then, and she feels even guiltier about it now. 

You’re attractive. Beautiful. Intelligent. You’re more than the sound you make when she’s pressed inside you just right. Or the swears you hiss when you’re returning the favour. 

You’re the words you say when you’re trying not to let Amaia down: careful, caring. And the look of support when Alexia is watching nothing ring a bell and wanting to die because of it. 

And you’re still you, if not set on different tracks with different thoughts and feelings and perspectives. 

You are still the woman she loves – which she knows and clings onto. And you’re braver than she is, because she would not have survived this situation. 

Alexia pictures you again, when she finally gets herself into bed, hand wandering down her sculpted body, jerking away at the slightest sound like she is not allowed to be doing this. She does it anyway. 

It’s a relief, a fleeting escape, and the only thing that doesn’t make her feel so fucking hollow. Briefly, the world hasn’t ended. Her fingers find familiar paths, mapped out by yours as she’d melt beneath your touch, and, for a moment, it isn’t her hand. It passes, and the pleasure is only a ghost of what it once was. 

She tries again. 

Her breath hitches as her mind fills with memories – your face, your voice, the sparks beneath her fingertips, the heat between the two of you. A lump grows in her throat. She has to stop. 

A part of her wants to give in completely, to let the tension in her body break, to seize the satisfaction that’s right in front of her. But another part of her recoils. Guilt settles, a weight on her chest, as she thinks of your blank stare. 

She pulls her hand away, her body trembling. She feels pathetic. This isn’t what it used to be. Love is too distant, too faded. 

And there’s the other thing. What she doesn’t want to admit. 

She can’t do it alone anymore. 

She rolls over and buries her face in the pillow. This might be her breaking point. Where the fuck does she go from here?

…

To establish a sense of normalcy when your physical injuries finally get written off by your doctor, your therapist suggests you take Amaia to a football match. Obviously Alexia’s match. WIth her tickets. And her mother. 

Although Amaia looks like you, there is so much of Alexia in her. Her enthusiasm, her dedication, and… her love for football. You imagine they must have killed you with their obsession with kicking a ball into a net. They tend to not talk about it now, most family dinners casting a glance backwards to catch you up about the last decade. 

She is radiating excitement beside you as you take your seats. 

The stadium roars as fans pour in, a sea of blaugrana that your daughter slips into, donning her jersey with pride. You wince a bit at the sight, but Amaia is quick to whisper that she doesn’t wear it when Barça plays Bilbao. She speaks with such familiarity. She hardly lets on that her mother doesn’t know who she is. 

Alexia’s own mother, Eli, is a very nice woman. You once employed her, which is how you and Alexia met. You get why she was a good fit – wise, reliable, kind. You also get why she managed to set you up with her daughter. Eli can apparently see right through you. 

Thankfully, she says nothing during the match, the buffer of Amaia actually working. 

You had glanced at the news before, stuff with Alexia’s name in it always catching your attention, and, of course, you’d admired a few photos. But it doesn’t compare to the real thing. 

Since September, Alexia has fumbled her way around you, cautious and unsure. On the pitch, she is the opposite. Determined, commanding, majestic and she swerves and dribbles and takes out players left, right, and centre. She seems to read the future, apprehending attacks, anticipating defensive lines and destroying them before they can even be formed. This passion, this intensity… this is the woman you must have fallen in love with. You’ve been getting to know a shell of her.

You get a lot of things now. (You should’ve let your therapist convince you to attend a match way sooner.)

The final whistle blows and you feel transformed. Not reformed, but, rather, made anew. A butterfly emerging from its cocoon. 

Okay. No. Maybe you’re getting ahead of yourself. 

But right now, as a sweaty Alexia jumps the barrier and sweeps Amaia into her arms effortlessly, you are certainly less resistant to experiencing your recurring dream again. Something guilty ebbs and flows at the back of your mind, but if it were the ocean, it would very much be low tide. 

Her eyes are fixed on you as Amaia recounts the match with her own analysis like a mini-manager ready to sit down and review the footage. Her mother clears her throat once silence settles between the four of you. 

“Mama, we’re getting dinner,” comes the next spoken sentence. Not from Eli. 

You blink.

“Alexia,” Amaia repeats, tugging her arm. “Dinner.” 

“Zer esan duzu?” you mutter under your breath, accessing the private form of communication you have with your daughter like it is the Washington-to-Moscow hotline. It’s often too constrictive, too close, to Amaia for comfort – you’re not quite there yet, no matter how much effort you put into trying to bond with her. 

You’re not dignified by a response, instead met with an uninterested eye-roll (the cheek!) and commotion as everyone starts to move. Well, half the party. Eli kindly lets Amaia drag her away. 

“Did you enjoy the match?” Alexia asks awkwardly, waiting for you to pick your bag up from the concrete floor. She stops herself from getting it for you when you grimace, still getting used to the tightness that will always remain in your ribs. She knows you’d hate that.

“I don’t like football,” you say, because her hair is wet and falling over her face, and her neck is flushed, and her kit is sticking to her in a very flattering way. And you walk past her because you’re probably not going to get this relationship back. 

Your therapist does most of the talking in the next session. Internally, she is screaming. 

…

Sticky glue on clean fingers. Amaia grimaces. She prefers the mess of mud to glitter and paint, but the black pages of the scrapbook are almost full and her end goal makes it worth it. 

Alexia asks what she does in her room that keeps her so quiet, her voice laced with curiosity and that same exhaustion she hasn’t been able to shed since the accident. Alexia, with no answer given, probably assumes it’s reading, or homework, or some other thing that elevates her to saintly status – Oh, Amaia, aren’t you just so special. 

Special girls wouldn’t have been forgotten by their mothers… No. Amaia believes she should not digress. 

The scrapbook is her cure. Or at least, what she has convinced herself will help you, because she is a little girl and what would she know about ground-breaking neurological treatments and the effectiveness of a good psychiatrist? She sees the appointments listed in the calendar Alexia keeps on the dining table – an illicit activity only undertaken when no one seems to be ready to take her to training and she worries she has gotten the time incorrect – but they are just abbreviations and addresses to her. Pictures are real. Pictures cannot be cancelled or argued about or scheduled on top of school concerts and meetings with her concerned teachers.

It was difficult at first, finding the pictures. There were only so many on the iPad you let her borrow – then subsequently forgot about and allowed her to claim. She’d asked Eli for help (Eli would never reveal her secret mission), who told her about something called a disposable camera and then proceeded to go off on a tangent, showing photos of Alexia when she was a baby. But, eventually, when photo-Alexia had reached adulthood, Eli agreed to participate and the next time they convened, she had an envelope of at least three more pages’ worth of material. 

And so they got to work. 

Pages upon pages were slowly decorated with lost memories. Birthdays, holidays, first-times, last-times. If there was a photo of it, in it went. Afternoons in Eli’s kitchen were spent with gel pens and scissors, mornings before school dwindling in length as nights got later and alarms began to be snoozed.

You don’t know what to say when one day, red-cheeked from the exhaustion of the extra goalie sessions, Amaia barrels into the car with exciting news. You’ve been privy to this news, you think, because the coaches have already messaged you about trial dates for better teams (teams that wear blaugrana, to Alexia’s satisfaction), even if the Infantil-Cadet begins at the age of twelve. “I’m so proud of you, txiki,” you begin, before Amaia can speak, your joy bursting at the seams, barely contained in your voice. Affection for her has certainly been something you’ve mustered, even if it has grown from a seed all over again. She is not hard to love. “Alexia has been speaking to Cata and she is going to find time to give you some tips! The girls will be older and you’ll have to work with more powerful shots, more precision.” You’d had a conversation with your footballer (things are still awkward but Amaia is in no-man’s-land and requires civility), who had been monitoring this inevitable progression in Amaia’s life and already had an argument prepared for why she should be allowed to trial. Maybe in another universe, you would have said no. “Don’t worry. I’m sure it won’t be too much of a challenge for you.” 

You turn to watch for Amaia’s reaction, expecting elation or nervousness or something like that. Instead, you are met with confusion. “What’s wrong?” There’s nothing else to ask. 

“That wasn’t my news,” she states. The glimmer in her eyes – your father’s eyes – illuminates the cracks in her serious expression. “You’re going to like my news more, Amatxu. It’s not to do with football. You don’t even like football.” 

“I like football,” you instantly argue, indignantly mentioning Athletic Bilbao’s recent victory. 

“You didn’t before.” She’s somewhat insistent. She reminds you of Alexia, the way her smile is barely contained, her amusement too obvious, too profound. “When we used to go to Alexia’s matches, you’d just stare at her. And I would say ‘Amatxu, the ball is on the right wing’, and you’d still be watching her.” 

“I don’t like football.” 

“You like it when Alexia’s playing.” 

You huff in annoyance. You’ve been… lawyered? By a child. “Tell me your news, Ami.” 

“You stopped calling me that,” she points out.

“Alexia told me you like being called that.” Or, rather, implied it. 

“By my mum.” 

“I’m your mum.” Amaia looks almost prepared to disagree, which stings but in a familiar way that your therapist tells you is a part of healing. Therapy might still be a scam. “Tell me your news, Amaia.” 

“I like Ami.” The car may swerve a little, but then you see darkness and hear screaming and your hands are tightly gripping the wheel again. “My news! Yes, my news. I have a present for you. I’ve been waiting to give it to you for a long time.” 

That’s all you get until you arrive home. 

Alexia is making dinner, the smell of tomatoes and garlic wafting down the hallway as the lift doors swoosh open. She’s listening to music – happy music – and there are rhythmic thuds against the floor. You’re surprised Alexia knows how to dance. 

Her hips sway at the stove, grey joggers outlining toned legs and… Your daughter is right beside you. You blink and hope those thoughts disappear. 

“Ami!” Alexia exclaims at the telltale sound of pitter-pattering. The spoon drops from her hand, stirring be damned, as she swipes the girl into a hug, kissing the top of her head. “How was training?” 

“Seré la nova portera del Barça.” The excitement is infectious as Alexia lifts her slightly off the ground with the force of her hug. It’s immediately warmer, the room filled now that they are together. You try to feel included. The sight momentarily plucks a string somewhere deep inside of you, but before it vibrates, Amaia throws a glance back at you, her cheeky smirk a reminder that she is still hogging her news. 

Alexia sets Amaia down gently, wiping her hands on the teatowel slung over her broad shoulders. “What’s that face for?” she asks, raising a curious brow as the girl slips out her grasp and scurries towards the dining table, schoolbag in tow. 

You linger by the worktop, trying to work past the need to hide from Alexia and failing miserably. Amaia unpacks her bag – ludicrously capacious and stuffed to the brim with art supplies that make you question why you are paying school fees. “I’ve been working on something,” she announces, her voice just shy of a triumphant proclamation. Out comes a spiral-bound book, decorated like a unicorn ate a rainbow and then had diarrhoea. She’s eleven, you suppose. 

Then she opens the book and you regret judging it by its cover. 

She flips past pages filled with images that hitch your breath. Holidays you don’t remember. Birthdays lost to the void that exists between then and now. 

“What is this?” you ask softly, stepping closer despite yourself.

Amaia looks up at you, her expression both shy and proud. “It’s for you.” 

The slosh of sauce being stirred stops abruptly. You try not to look, but Alexia is leaning towards the table for a better view, bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes deepen and her chest grows heavier.

Undeterred by the silence, Amaia continues fervently, “I’ve been making it for months.” She pulls the scrapbook close to her chest for a moment, before offering it to you with both hands, glitter floating to the floor. “It’s so you won’t forget anything anymore.”

You freeze. The walls are touching your sides, too small. Alexia is watching you for your reaction. “Forget?” you echo faintly, hands trembling as they reach for the book. 

Amaia tilts her head, innocence piercing and painful. “Like how you forgot my birthday. Or, like, didn’t know it was.” 

The air is knocked clean out of your lungs. For a moment, you can’t move. You can’t breathe. Alexia’s eyes dart between the two of you, her jaw tightening as she grips the worktop. You know she wants to jump in, wants to soften the blow, but she doesn’t. Not yet. 

Amaia keeps going, her voice steadily reporting shortcomings like bombs she doesn’t know can kill. “I know you didn’t mean to. And I know that you don’t remember things because you hit your head really badly. So you don’t remember my first football practice, or when we used to go to the beach. So… I made this!” 

She flips the pages for you, her tiny fingers smudged with gel pen ink. “Here’s the picture from when we went to New Zealand and Alexia won the world cup.” You’ve seen that one before. She turns the page, “And this,” a small, faded photograph with fridge-worn edges, “is from when I won my first school race. This is in London, see?” She’s grinning widely, front tooth missing, a green field behind her with a grey sky that is certainly not Barcelona. 

Your throat tightens. You can’t look away from the book, each page a kaleidoscope of colours and slipped-away moments. Drowned memories that have sunken into a trench of blackness – still there, just unrecoverable. “Amaia…” Your voice cracks. You might break.

Alexia moves quietly, reaching a hand out to your back before steadying it centimetres away. Her warmth is felt only for a second before she remembers herself and moves away. “This is what you’ve been doing,” she deduces, her surprise comforting. For once, you were not the only one in the dark. 

Amaia beams but she is not looking at Alexia. “I told you you’d like it,” she says. You’ve not given your opinion yet. “Now you’ll never forget again, not even if you want to.”

Silence presses down on the room, save for the gentle bubbling of the tomato sauce on the stove. You clutch the scrapbook tightly, afraid that dropping it will send the wrong message. It’s not perfectly made – far from it. The edges are uneven, the colour clashing in some places, the glue smeared in translucent stains past photos. But it’s beautiful. It's yours, from Amaia. It is her love for you. 

Tears pinch in your eyes. “I don’t deserve this,” you whisper, the words slipping out before you can stop them. 

Amaia frowns, her brows knitting together in confusion. “Of course you do. Zu zara nire ama.”

Your skin bristles as Alexia moves past you, hand resting on the worktop. “You do,” she agrees. She seems to want to say more, but Amaia, satisfied with her convincing, turns back to the scrapbook, taking it from your hands and opening it to the very last page. 

“This one’s my favourite.” 

The final page is a drawing, not a photograph. It’s sketched carefully, although a little garishly done in neon green, but it’s unmistakable. Three figures stand together, arms linked. Surrounding them are words (Catalan words, you think) and images. Alexia’s hand presses harder into the worktop.

“Alexia says Barça is the best team in the world,” Amaia starts smugly, “but she’s not right.” A grunt of disagreement comes from the woman beside you, but she allows the girl to continue. “We are.” 

The words fall from her lips like a statistic, indisputable yet hard to believe. 

“We’re like a football team, to help Alexia understand,” she then says with a smirk. “Badakit ez duzula gehiago behar, Ama. Oso adimentsua zara.” 

“I’m not stupid,” grumbles Alexia. 

She’s ignored. “You are the attack, Ama. You’re, like, the glamourous one, the one everyone wants to be like, with glory and success and shiny trophies.” You’ve seen Alexia’s trophies, but you don’t argue, assuming it will be pointless when your daughter can be so stubborn. “And then Alexia is in the middle. Attack and defence are a pair, but it’s not right to have them on a pitch without the midfield. It’s never as seamless. The team would be incomplete.” You pause to consider if Alexia is ever afraid of being loved by Amaia. She’d have had no reason to be. “Of course, I am in goal. Nothing slips through me, even if it’s really scary and the ball is coming fast. I make sure we don’t lose.” 

Your breath catches. Something inside you shifts, not the fragments left by Alexia’s football match a few weeks ago, but a new part of this new life. A root in fertile soil. “Thank you,” you murmur, pulling Amaia into a tight hug. She tenses at first, almost shocked by it, but then she is relaxing and hugging you back, face buried in your clothes as though it is what coming home feels like. “I love it. I love you.” 

Alexia watches, her expression softening as she steps back towards the stove. “Dinner’s almost ready,” she announces, giving you both a moment to breathe. 

Amaia pulls back, her grin wide and triumphant. “I told you you’d like my news.” She pauses, glancing slyly at Alexia. “Much better than football, right?” 

The woman’s laugh is warm and free. You want to bottle it. “Careful, nena. You’re about to lose your biggest cheerleader.” 

“Never!” shouts Amaia, before leaning back into you. And for the first time since the accident, part of you is at home. 

[reiderwriter]

☎️ Don't Call Me ☎️

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: After catching your boyfriend cheating, you find accidental comfort in your coworker. With your phone ringing nonstop, you're willing to do whatever it takes to start fresh.

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, bug mentions (cockroaches), cheating, exhibitionism, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, slight spanking, mentions of masturbation. Dom! Spencer.

A/N: Haha... hi guys... been a while 😚 Please enjoy the fic I dreamed up over a month ago now, and was finally able to conjure up!

Masterlist

If you were to be asked how you assumed a five-year-long relationship would end, you'd likely say something like irreparable differences. Maybe a difference in lifestyle, growing out of love, or even different plans for the future. Unfortunately, the irreparable difference your boyfriend had chosen at 10 pm on a Thursday evening was being balls deep in an irreparably different woman. 

You supposed you should've seen the signs the relationship was drawing to a close and likely you did, but with your job itself being a life or death situation almost daily, you really didn't have much time to worry about the fact that your boyfriend was sowing his oats in other fields. Based on the look of the woman spread across your bed, the oats weren't that great for her either. 

Your reaction had been somewhat delayed, but curiously not as much as hers. She'd been wonderfully blasé about the man writhing on top of her before you started screaming and throwing things, and even now you were armed with a vase of flowers (dead - you'd bought them yourself before the case you'd been on for the last two weeks) she still looked slightly bored. But at least her legs were together now, and not gynaecologist level apart. 

Your boyfriend - ex-boyfriend? - managed to regain an ounce of dignity with a scrap of clothing, and did his best to shepard you out of the crime scene as you regained the ability to hold coherent thoughts that weren't about strangling him with his own tie. 

“Listen to me, please just for five minutes-” 

“Listen? I was just listening! To you moaning into that woman's shoulders with your eyes rolled back in your head!” 

It was as if in the last few minutes all the love you'd had for this man, all five years of relationship and comfort, and nights spent together had melted away in an instant. The rage dissipated, and you were surprisingly calm again, though that worried you, too. Surely you should be crying, or at the very least upset. You should be feeling some kind of emotion that wasn't a vague disgust at the man in front of you in full pooh bear mode, trying to tug down the hem of his shirt to cover the crown jewels. 

“It didn't mean anything. She doesn't mean anything. She's just - You're gone so long on cases, and I just-” 

“So you're saying it's my fault you're cheating on me?” 

“Yes! No, wait, no, no, no, no-” 

“No, heard loud and clear, I'll try not to save lives in the future, I'm sure the BAU will understand I should be on my back 24 hours a day instead, taking all four inches you have to donate to my worthy cause.” 

“Y/N, don't be like that,” he said, exasperated. Whatever he had to be exasperated about, you had no idea. Maybe blue balls. 

“Like what?”

“Like a bitch!” 

The room went still with silence as you let him sit with the words he'd just spoken, willing him to snap back quickly so you could keep even just a shred of respect for him. 

No such apology came. 

“I'm leaving now. I expect your things packed and out of here by 12 pm tomorrow, including your thing in the bedroom. Don't bother cleaning the sheets. Just burn them. Lock the door and post the keys through the letterbox when you're done.” 

“Y/N, I told you it's not like that, I still love you, come on-” 

“Well I don't love you. And please go put some fucking pants on.” 

You stepped back over the threshold of your apartment - the lovely, nice apartment you'd been living in for the last eight years, your nice safe space - and you shuddered. 

The question wasn't exactly what next, but more like where next. What next was sending a group text in your ex-boyfriends family chat telling them what you'd walked in on, and then leaving the chat before you could get any response. The where would be a harder sell. 

From this part of the city, it'd take 2 hours to get to Penelope’s apartment, especially at this time of night without a car. Emily's apartment was similarly far. Going through a list of your coworkers again, you mentally crossed off Tara, who'd been injured on your last case and was resting at her girlfriend's apartment, Luke, who despite the promised comfort of a cute dog, you were absolutely sure didn't have a spare bed, and all members of the team with spouses and/or children. Which left just Spencer and Rossi. 

Needless to say, you found your way to Spencer's apartment in only 20 minutes, though you were sure you had disassociated the entire thing. 

Knocking on the door, you felt a little bit awkward, but not awkward enough to leave and find a hotel at nearly 11 pm. Your last case hadn't been a pleasant one, hotel-wise, and you weren't exactly eager for another check-in.

Spencer opened the door quickly, his eyebrows knitted in confusion as he found you there  but only for a brief flash before his face brightened up. 

“Y/N? Do we have a case again? I thought Hotch said-” 

“Can I stay here tonight?” you blurted, needing to get the words out as quickly as possible before you convinced yourself to walk away. 

Spencer took a moment to take in your words, and you took the opportunity to look at him then. He was fully clothed at least, and you were glad to find that his pajamas looked comfortable and clean. A simple plaid cotton pant with a soft-looking white long sleeved shirt pushed up his arms slightly. He'd taken out his contacts and put on his glasses, and you wondered if you'd caught him mid-book. 

“Please?” you added in a hopeful voice as he still looked at you slightly confused. 

“Oh, of course,” he said, stepping aside and gesturing inside. “Is there something wrong with your apartment?” he asked, taking your go-bag from you without question and guiding you into the main living space of his apartment. 

“Thank you, yeah. Something like that. Shoes off or on?” 

“I have some slippers. You can take them off. What happened?” he said, placing the slippers in front of you and turning back to bolt the door. 

“Invasive species?” You said, trying to sound as nonplussed as possible  despite now feeling incredibly plussed.

“Oh, bugs? Yeah, I've had a cockroach or two in the apartment before. Did you know that the average female cockroach can produce up to 10,000 offspring in a single year?” 

You sat on his couch quietly, trying not to imagine 10,000 cockroaches and failing nearly spectacularly. Unfortunately, the only image that could surpass tiny cockroach babies was of your boyfriend pounding away at another woman. Which was just a brilliant move for your psyche. 

“Spencer, I know I've really intruded here tonight, but do…. Do you wanna drink with me?” You asked, hoping to drown at least a memory or two of the last 24 hours. Hopefully, the cheating one, but you'd take cockroach extermination as well.

A slightly worried look settled on Spencer's face, but he said nothing and nodded, walking to his kitchen, grabbing two beers and meeting you back on his loveseat. 

“Oh you really have beer here!” You exclaimed, thanking him for the beverage before cracking it open and taking a sip. 

“Morgan came over with some to celebrate 6 months out of prison. These are leftovers.” 

“Right… right…” 

The first few sips were so painfully awkward that you thought about returning back to your apartment and just sleeping on your own couch. 

Vaguely, you felt Spencer watching you, taking a sip of his drink for every sip you took of yours. 

“So…” you said, and he raised an inquisitive eyebrow again, already questioning whatever was about to come out of your mouth. 

“So?”  he asked. You weren't sure if it was the beer, the look on his face, or the crazy implosion of the last 5 years that had you giggling all of a sudden. You were just glad that when you cracked up, he cracked a smile as well, and a little bit of the tension went away. 

“Why are you really here, YN?” 

You took a deep breath and looked straight forward at the bookshelves Spencer had lovingly filled. Maybe this had taken him half a decade as well, so he'd understand how your life felt a little bit like a wobbly bookshelf at that second. 

“The invasive species I mentioned? It was the woman screwing my boyfriend in my bed. Ex. Ex-boyfriend.” 

You heard the intake of breath from Spencer before he put his can down and started thinking of something to say in reply to that. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Oh… Y/N, I-” 

A shrill ringing cut him off, and you were almost glad to not be on the receiving end of whatever pitiful words he was about to push on you, until you checked the caller ID and saw your ex's name. 

“Don't pick that up,” Spencer said as you hesitated towards the phone. With a hand over yours, he flipped the phone over, locking eyes with you as he let it ring out. 

“He's just going to try it again.”

“Let him.” 

You nodded, breaking eye contact and sinking back into Spencer's slightly wilted couch cushions. 

“In your bed? Really?” he asked, talking another sup as you took a gulp, letting the beer fizz down your throat before you could answer.

“I told him to expect me tomorrow because of how the case was looking. I guess he wasn't expecting me.” 

“I think that was a given. Unless he was into that. Exhibitionism is one of the most common kinks among adult males, and-” 

“Oh he was not into exposing himself,” you laughed into your drink, propping your head up on your hand and turning to face Spencer more. He shot another questioning glance but didn't push the issue, so you silently explained as well. By pinching your fingers together to the approximate size of your ex-boyfriend's dick. 

“Oh. Well, it's not the size that counts?” He whispered almost ironically as he took another sip, now much closer than before. You'd done your best to distance yourself from your boyfriend even as he'd followed you through your apartment half naked, but you didn't seem to find Spencer's proximity threatening at all. 

Maybe because he wasn't having sex with a random woman in your bed 5 seconds before. 

“You wanna know the worst part?” You said, leaning closer as if to tell him an even bigger secret. “He didn't even know how to use it. I haven't-” 

Another phone call blasted through, and you grabbed your phone and put it behind you. 

“He's really great at interrupting conversation when it’s just getting good,” Spencer laughed, but you were slightly disappointed that he'd leaned back away now. 

“What was it you were saying?” He asked, taking a swig of beer again, can nearing its close. 

“I haven't had an orgasm in almost three years,” you said bluntly, watching the most genuine spit take you’d seen in your life. You pat Spencer's back as he coughed up inhaled beer, bringing your feet up under you into a cosier position. 

“Okay now?” you asked as his breathing returned to normal. 

“No? Three years, Y/N? Really?” 

You shrugged and looked away  almost embarrassed to be meeting his eyes now that your sexual history was the topic of the night. 

“We had sex. He's just… he's just a really lazy lover. It'd be the same stuff every time. Handjob to some clumsy fingers missing my clit, a few pumps and cum on my face. I wasn't exactly initiating seven days a week in the hopes that this time he'd be able to locate it.” 

Spencer was somewhere between horror and trying not to laugh, eyes wide with either alarm or the strain of having to keep it in. 

“It's okay, you can laugh,” you said, but he shook his head politely.

“Y/N, I was in prison and still had more orgasms than you this year.” 

“Hey, I hear prison is a great place to meet new people. Have new experiences.”

Spencer shot you a quickly horrified look as his cheeks flushed with heat. “Y/N, I was not someone's bitch in prison.” 

“Why not? You're pretty enough for it?” 

You'd meant the line to come across as teasing, just as you'd expected the finger now twisted in a lock of his hair, playing with him, to come off as teasing as well. 

But you felt a definite throb between your legs when he looked at you again, doubly so when his eyes darted down to your lips. 

You cleared your throat and tried for a teasing tone once again. 

“So you made someone else your bitch?” you smiled, trying to drag his eyes away from your lips before you did something you'd regret. 

“No. I… I spent a long time in solitary, and there's… there's really not that much to do.” 

“So you did yourself?” 

The tips of his ears were scarlet when you finally decided to back off, tucking the curl of hair behind his ear and letting him cool off. 

“Why didn't you masturbate then?” he asked, pouting slightly still from your interrogation. 

“Excuse me?”

“Your boyfriend couldn't make you cum, but a vibrator probably could. But you still haven't had an orgasm in three years. Why is that?” 

It was your turn to feel the heat, the warmth from the beer finally reaching your head. 

“He didn't want me to.” 

You didn't mean for the words to sound as sad as they did. The fact itself was just incredibly sad. Your boyfriend saw anything vaguely phallic shaped as competition and had encouraged “organic” coupling instead. 

You waited for Spencer to say something else, anything else as you held his gaze, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and him to start talking down to you as if you were simply a victim of the worst sex in the world. 

Instead, he said “so did that other woman look as miserable as you've been for the last three years?” and the spell was broken. 

You laughed so hard, you nearly choked on the beer you'd already finished. This time, it was Spencer's turn to land a hand on your back as you winded yourself with laughter. 

“She looked bored! She looked genuinely bored. I almost thought it was just a lifelike doll, she was that unphased,” you kept giggling between gasps, forcing the words out as you threw your head onto Spencer's shoulder, hand landing on his thigh as you finally calmed down. 

“I'd be horrified if anyone looked bored while in bed with me,” came Spencer's voice, and a little shiver ran down your spine as the rasp of his whisper rang in your ear. 

You looked up from his shoulder and caught his eye immediately. If you wanted to, you could lean up by a centimetre and catch his lips with yours. And you suddenly, very much wanted to do that. 

A final shriek of your phone behind you deterred you for a few seconds, and you were about to work yourself up to scooting a little bit away from Spencer when he leaned over you, grabbed the phone, and hung up on your boyfriend. 

“Do you want to cum, Y/N?” he asked, as quietly as before as his hands traced over you on their return journey to him. He looked down your body, eyes greedily drinking in your breasts, hips, thighs and legs tucked into his side on his couch. 

You didn't know what you were going to respond when your head practically nodded by itself. Enthusiastically. 

He doesn't immediately pull you in for a kiss, and you're worried for a beat that he meant that only as a hypothetical and not an invite. A final cry from your phone has you standing in seconds, completely detached from Spencer, and the nearly embarrassing moment you pouncing him would've been.

“I should probably take it this time,” you explained, turning slightly. 

But Spencer was faster than you, if not more prepared for what was to come. Wrapping an arm around your waist, Spencer tugged you back, pulling you onto his lap. When you were firmly situated - ass over his now evidently firm cock - he grabbed the phone out of your other hand, hung up and put it in his pocket. 

“Spencer, I-I don't think that's a good idea,” you gasped as his hands slowly progressed up to your chest, and his lips dropped to your neck, biting and sucking along whatever flesh was easy for him to access. 

“You need to cum. You deserve to cum, Y/N. I'm just here to help. Use me.” 

You stifle a sharp, quick moan, biting your lips and thanking God that he couldn't see the face you made when his hips ground his cock up into your ass. 

“I'm probably not ready for this,” you stuttered slightly, breath departing your body quicker than it could arrive. 

“Probably not.”

“We work together, too. It would be awkward.”

“It might,” he nodded. “But you still want to.” 

You couldn't help the moan, finally letting it free as you tossed your head back and clawed at his forearm, wrapped around you. 

Your ass had a mind of its own, grinding back into him in circles as his hands found their way under your shirt, inquisitive fingers stroking your nipples through your bra. 

“S-Spencer,” you whimpered again, legs spreading apart as you felt that familiar warmth settle between them. He didn't miss the longing in your tone, the shift in your core, pushing one hand down your stomach and trailing it onto your thigh. 

It was as close as he could get with your pants still on, tight against your skin. He squeezed your thigh,  still licking and sucking at your neck before his hand rose to the clasp of your pants. 

It took him a long lime to fumble with them, and you thought of helping multiple times but you let yourself get distracted by the tense definition of his muscles, the rigid line of his body as he strained to please you. 

Your mind fogged with lust, and you felt the vibrations from his pocket right under you when your phone rang again. You practically jerked up in shock as pleasure hit you in a wave, Spencer's fingers finally dipping into your panties just as the vibrations hit you. They weren't centred, of course, not anywhere close to where you needed them to be for you to enjoy them the way you would a toy, but that's what Spencer was for. 

He let the call ring out, tracing small, slow circles over your clit as you jumped up into his hand, moaning and whimpering the entire time. 

“What an idiot. I bet he never touched you like this. Nice and slow.”

“N-no, S-s-” 

“I'm so glad I'm right. He didn't deserve this beautiful cunt. You're so wet for me, right, baby?” You nodded and he hummed in response, voice low and making you pulse in his lap. 

“That's it, good girl,” he whispered as you worked your cunt up and down his fingers, stilling himself so you could find your own pleasure. 

“Spencer… Spencer, fuck-” 

With his free hand, he turned your face to the side and finally kissed you properly as you moaned into his mouth. He was quick to deepen the kiss, to press his tongue against the seam of your mouth and enter your mouth, quickly dominating you as you let yourself get more and more excited. Your hips stuttered, out of rhythm and out of practice, and you almost whimpered in frustration that you couldn't get off quicker, that your body wasn't finding the orgasm quick enough despite how good, how perfect this felt.

Sensing your growing frustration, Spencer broke the kiss. 

“Come with me,” he said, pulling his hands away from your wet cunt and out of your stupid pants and encouraging your hips up until you were stood and he was stood behind you. 

Cock still firmly stood against your ass, he walked you all the way to his bedroom, hands on your hips the entire time, memorising the sway of your walk. 

“Strip and get on the bed, please, Y/N,” he said, finally peeling himself away from you as you nodded quickly and listened to him immediately. You weren't sure what to expect, so you hesitated, laying down, crawling up until your head hit the pillows. You were almost disappointed when you finally looked back at Spencer and he was still fully clothed, so sure that he was going to fuck you to your climax. 

Instead, he approached the bed, gently slid his arms around your thighs, opened your legs wider, knelt on the floor and brought your cunt to his face. 

The first touch of his to guess to your clit had you almost beside yourself with lust. You'd been sexually active for a handful of years, and this - THIS - was the first time you'd experienced such acute pleasure. 

Your hips were unable to stop, thrusting up into his face as you willed his tongue to engulf you, to be a tool in your pleasure. 

Again your phone rang, but he grabbed it quickly, pausing only a second to silence it and discard it on the bed beside you, sitting it further up the bed where it would no longer be a distraction to him. 

He dove right back in, and you rewarded him with wave after wave of fierce moan, your writhing body only restricted by a hand snaked up onto his stomach. You still pushed against his face, practically fucking it as he flattened out his to guess and let you chase your high. 

“Spencer!” You gasped and moaned, voice dripping with lust and desperation, mouth not even properly forming words now you were so close. 

You propped yourself up slightly, looking down as Spencer's eye caught your own, his chin slick with your juices, his eyes dripping with lust. You grabbed a handful of his hair and jumped that little bit faster as you felt that long forgotten whisper of pleasure, that all-encompassing explosion of satisfaction, and you came apart on Spencer's tongue. 

“Thank you, thank you, Spencer, shit, thank you,” you whimpered, falling back again into the bed as you rode out the high. When you managed to open your bleary eyes again, Spencer was propped up above you, but instead of paying you attention, he'd grabbed your phone and bought it to his ear. 

“You heard that? Good. I'm sure you're aware now that she won't be returning your calls tonight. Goodbye.” 

His voice, his words, were like a cold bucket of water to your brain as you sat up, reaching for him and finding him as his hips circled your waist. 

“Was that-?” He cut you off with a kiss  a sweet, soft one. 

“Yes.” He kissed you again  and you melted into his touch as he pulled you into his lap again. 

“H-He-” 

“He knows now what a real orgasm sounds like. He knows you're not interested anymore. He knows you're mine now.” 

You shivered at the words, your lust addled brain flooding your senses, and your cunt as you reacted to the possessiveness of his words, his tone. Part of you was turned on by the exhibitionism as well. You'd had to walk in on your ex boyfriend completely exposed, and there was satisfaction in kicking him to the curb with a similar fuck you. A fuck you that you'd enjoyed a lot. 

You pressed your lips against Spencer's and rocked your hips against him again, tasting yourself on his tongue as he laid you down once more. His cock twitched against your leg as he propped you up on the pillows, and your hands trailed down to show it some attention as your sighed into his kiss.

He eagerly shed his clothes, first his top, sitting up and pulling it over his head, giving you a deliriously enticing shot of his chest and soft stomach before dropping down to cover your body again. You let your hand find the sprinkling of hair on his lower stomach, though, following it down as you encouraged his pants off. His cock was thick and heavy in your hand, and you gladly stroked it as he kissed the plains of your body again. He found the side of your neck that he'd neglected earlier, licking and sucking until it was almost as loved as the first side, before pulling your hand away from his cock. 

You pouted and began to protest when he quickly lined his cock up with your cunt, and slid in deep and soft before you could. 

“Needed to be in you,” he whispered in your ear, gripping your hips and sliding your legs up and around him as he pushed that little bit deeper. “Keep them nice and wide for me,” he said, dropping one last kiss to your lips, before his chest rose, and his hips pulled away again. 

When they snapped back into you, you let out a generous scream of pleasure that almost had you wishing you'd never hung up. He set a quick pace, a furious pace as he too moaned into the contact of your cunt and his cock, two desperate people searching for release. 

“So tight, Y/N, you're so tight,” he moaned, flesh hitting flesh as you dug your nails into his arms, already so wet again, you could feel the sheets under you growing damp. His hand left its perch on your hip and found its way to your clit once again, and you knew that you weren't going to be able to keep to this pace without cumming a second time. 

“Keep moaning for me baby, show me how much you want it,” his voice begged, almost a rumble with how lustful he sounded. You let your voice carry, each moan a little bit more unrestricted than the last. 

“Louder, Y/N, please. I want to hear how much you're enjoying this, you don't know how much I enjoy hearing your pleasure.”

His prayers were answered when he lowered his head back down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, gently grazing it with his teeth between licks and sucks. You practically screamed his name, pressing your chest up to grant him better access. 

You liquefied beneath him, pressure building and building until you felt him rock, lifting his chest as you came. He pulled his cock out, teasing it through your folds as you stuttered around him, your arousal squirting across his cock and sheets as you fell back to the bed, gasping in pleasure. Your hips stuttered against him, and he soothed you gently, still working his cock through your folds gently as your clit went from overwhelmed to calm to quickly overstimulated. 

“Spencer,” you whimpered, almost unable to take all the pleasure he was offering you. “Spencer, it-it hurts.” 

“Don't you want me to stop?” He asked, stopping his movements for a second as you deliberated your answer. The lack of movement was answer alone, and you shook your head no wanting to feel his cock against you, inside you, one more time. 

“Louder, Y/N, tell me what you want.” 

“I want to keep going,” you said, as he began slowly rocking his cock against you again, sticky from your cum. 

“What do you want me to do?” He asked, teasing a nipple with his hand as your eyes fluttered shut. 

“Please fill me up again, please I want to cum again.” 

“One more time?” He asked.

“Mhmmm… one more… one more, please.” 

You were cum drunk, so horny that you couldn't fathom stopping there. He pressed another kiss to your lips and encouraged you to flip over, propping a pillow under your stomach as he pulled your legs into the right position. 

You snuggled into the pillows at your head, pushing your ass up for him slightly as he nudged his cock against your entrance once more. 

“Where should I cum  Y/N?” He asked, reaching under you to slowly circle your clit again. 

“H-hmmm…” you said, eyes shut, focused more on the pleasure than the question. You didn't care anymore. You didn't care where he came, just as long as he let you do it, too. 

“Y/N, I expect an answer. Where should I put my cum?” 

“Anywhere,” you pouted, pressing your hips back into his cock in the hopes that he'd just fuck you again already. 

“That's not an answer,” he said, gently slapping your ass as he pulled his cock away. 

“On your back?” He asked, fingers still working your clit underneath, but trailing lower until they found your cunt, two entering you to keep you wet and stretched for him. 

“You'd need to shower before you could pass out, but I'm happy to help clean you off. They have communal showers in prison, so I'm not shy.” You moaned at the suggestion but couldn't answer further. 

“On your stomach? Again we'd have to shower off, but I would love to see your boobs decorated all nicely.” Your moans were whimpers now as he edged you with his fingers, his words gentle in your ear but dripping with so much lust and promise you couldn't stand it. You didn't want to make decisions anymore. 

“On your face?”

“Not on my face,” you snapped quickly, and he nodded and stroked your hair, hooking a strand behind your ear as he agreed. 

“Okay. Where, Y/N? Be a good girl and tell me.”

“I-Inside. Cum inside me. Please.” 

“Of course. Good job.”

He pulled his hand free gently, and quickly replaced it with his thick cock, and you moaned again at the weight of it against your walls, the familiar stretch of it. In this position, he reached deeper somehow, his thrusts slower, more precise as he drew out his own orgasm as long as possible, maximising his ability to pleasure you. 

“Good girl,” he muttered against your skin, dropping a kiss to your back. “Good girl.” 

“Wanted to do this for so long, Y/N,” he confessed with each thrust. “Look at how pretty this pussy is, how wet it is for me. I wish your boyfriend could see it. I wish he could see how well-behaved you are for me. How nicely you take my cock.” 

His deep, slow strokes, his words, the kisses he pressed against any inch of your skin he could reach combined to push you over the edge a third and final time. This one wasn't loud. It wasn't dramatic. It was a steady shudder of pleasure from your hips and a quiet, satisfied sigh. 

You didn't say anything  but Spencer knew, he felt it, and he came moments after, cock deep inside as he filled you with his cum. 

“You're on birth control, right?” 

“IUD. Pill. Yeah.” You say between breathy sighs of contentment.

Muttering something behind you, he pulled out finally, leaving for a minute to grab a washcloth and clean himself off before returning to help you as well. 

“What did you mumble?” You asked, as he crawled back into your arms, looking up at him. 

“What?” He asked, ears turning slightly pink as you stared at him intently. 

“Just now. I told you I was on birth control, and you mumbled something.” 

He looked away, refusing to meet your gaze before dropping to kiss you sweetly once again. 

“Tell me,” you said, and he kissed you again. 

“Spencer, tell me,” you pouted, and he kissed the pout away. 

You almost asked again, but he kissed you too quickly, too deeply  and you lost your breath again. 

“I said,” he started, leaving you panting under him again. “It was good you're on birth control, because I like the sight of my cum dripping out of you.” 

The remaining breath left your body as you gasped, your face growing hot. You burrowed your face in his chest and let him hold you as you drifted into sleep, wrapped up in each other. 

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

Steve keeps dropping his heart.

Somewhere buried deep inside him there's an edge of terror that he's going to damage it even worse - but it also makes a muffled schloop sound every time it hits the ground that is, objectively, the funniest sound he's heard all night.

Robin thinks so too, because she keeps giggling every time it happens - first these tiny little snorts, then somewhat hysterical giggles, then a full on bark of laughter, and then he's dropping it again because he's laughing, too, and she's so cute, how is he supposed to not be a little in love with her?

Dustin and Erica don't seem to find it that funny, though.

"Oh my God, Steve, put your heart in your chest!" Dustin hisses at him the next time they have to slow down to wait for him to scoop it back up.

The very idea sends a chill through him, and he makes a face at Dustin.

"No!" he retorts.

"No? Are you serious? It took me weeks to get you comfortable taking it out around me and now you want to wave it around? No, that's not what I - stop that," Dustin scolds him.

Which is rude, considering Dustin is the one who told him to wave it around in the first place.

But maybe he also has a point, because Steve's grip on his heart slips on a downward wave and this time he doesn't so much drop it as toss it, sending it skittering over the floor.

"Oops," Steve says.

Robin bursts into a sharp bray of laughter.

He loves her so much.

Dustin's gone chasing after his heart, and he flinches when the kid picks it up, expecting it to hurt, to feel wrong the way it had when -

But no.

It feels nice.

"Huh," Steve says, watching Dustin bring it back over.

"Why is it all wrapped up?" Erica asks, wrinkling her nose at it.

"So it doesn't explode," Steve replies, then giggles when Robin nods solemnly and mimes an explosion with her hands.

Dustin rolls his eyes, trying to shove it at him. "Put it away!"

Steve twists away. "Nooo," he protests. "I can't breathe."

Dustin's expression goes from frustrated to concerned so quickly it gives Steve whiplash. "Your ribs? Did they break something? Shit, Erica, can you-"

Erica's already at Steve's side, tugging up his uniform shirt and squinting at his ribs. "What am I supposed to be looking for?"

"Can't breathe with my heart inside," Steve clarifies, even though he's actually pretty sure he does have a broken rib or two. It doesn't hurt, so it's a way lower priority. "I hate it, it feels like it's trapped and hollow and alone."

Dustin and Erica look at each other. Steve doesn't think they look irritated, but he can't really tell.

"Steve," Dustin says softly. "Since when?"

"Since always," Steve replies.

There's silence in response, and he worries briefly that he's said the wrong thing. But then Dustin sighs and pops open his chest, nudging his own heart aside so he can drop Steve's next to it. He closes it up again before Steve's even managed to get a fully formed thought, let alone words, and -

His heart gives a little stutter, and it's weird to feel the emotion that causes it without feeling the corresponding pounding against his own chest.

Dustin apparently feels it, though, because he squints at Steve. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Steve returns.

“You felt something!” Dustin retorts.

“Wait, you can feel what I'm feeling?” Steve demands.

“Of course I can,” Dustin scoffs, like it should be obvious. “I have your heart, don't I?”

He looks over at Robin, to see if she knew that, too, but she's too busy snickering at something the light is doing in the fountain, and -

Oh.

Wow.

Okay, that's much better.

He feels so much better, and even when he's handed his heart again after he and Robin are deposited in the movie theater -

The feeling lingers.

—

In a too bright bathroom that smells like bleach and vomit, Robin holds out her hands for his heart.

“Let me see,” she insists, and Steve doesn't think twice about handing it over.

She might as well have just put her own heart in his hands, after what she just shared with him.

Still, he feels trepidation when she unwraps it, even more when she blanches at the sight of it. But -

“Hey,” Steve says, leaning in to look more closely at it. “It looks better.”

“Better?” she demands. “This is better?”

“I guess I should put it back in my chest if it makes it better,” he says reluctantly.

Robin frowns. “But it hasn't been in your chest. Just Dustin's.”

Wait.

That's right.

“I learned about this!” Steve snaps his fingers, trying to place it. “Science class. People survive things they shouldn't if they give away their hearts?”

Robin, bless her, either remembers it better or has figured out what he's trying to say. “Your heart heals better if someone's keeping it safe for you?”

There's barely a second before she's opening her own chest, taking out her heart and putting his in instead.

“Here,” she says, handing her heart to him almost carelessly. “Watch this for me.”

The moment it's settled in his chest, though, he can feel - how scared she is, how terrifying this all seems. The edges of it are still dulled by the drugs in both their systems, but it's there.

“I'm sorry,” he tells her quietly, guilt twisting from him to his heart in her chest.

“I'm not,” she replies, sharp and stubborn.

And the thing is -

She isn't.

—

The paramedics don't insist on keeping him.

Steve thinks they might, if they could hear his own heart, but it's Robin's heart beating strong and steady in his chest, so they assume that no matter how bad he looks, he must not be in any danger.

He doesn't know what his heart sounds like, but judging by the look on the guy checking over Robin - it's not good.

But she's physically unharmed, so they must assume it's more emotional damage than anything else. He and Robin are two halves, right now, but put them together and they make a somewhat stable whole.

God, he loves her.

She must pick up the echo of his love, because she looks up, meeting his gaze. Her smile is a little sad, and he feels a rush of affection so strong that it almost takes his breath away, even if it's a little bittersweet.

"It's not like that," he tells her, as soon as she and him can huddle together away from the paramedics.

She frowns at him, a clear prompt to continue.

"I don't know if I know how to love someone this much, if it's not like that," he admits. "But I'm learning. I'm going to learn."

For Robin, he'll learn how to love someone so much he doesn't want to know what life is like without them, in a way that isn't romantic at all.

—

Robin comes home with him that night, their hearts still in each other's chests.

Steve almost can't bear the thought of taking his back at this point, and what he can pick up from Robin tells him she feels the same way.

There's a blinking light on the answering machine, and when he presses play, he smiles a little at hearing Eddie's voice.

“Hey, Steve, it's, uh, Eddie. Know I haven't stopped by in a while, but I saw the news tonight about the mall, and - can you just let me know you're okay? Okay. Yeah, okay, bye.”

He sounds a little like he's trying not to panic, and Steve feels himself go soft and fond.

“...huh,” Robin says, clearly getting an echo of what he's feeling. “Steve?”

Steve shrugs, a little helpless. “I don't know,” he admits.

She considers for a moment. “Okay.”

“Okay?” he asks.

“You don't have to know,” she tells him.

“Okay,” he agrees.

He calls Eddie back while she showers, propped up against the bathroom door with the cordless phone in his hand.

“Hey,” Steve says when Eddie picks up. “It's Steve. Sorry, I know it's late.”

“No!” Eddie rushes to say. “No, it's okay, I was up. I saw - are you okay?”

“I've been better,” Steve admits. “There was some explosions, some rubble from the building collapsing. I've got cracked ribs and a concussion.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie mutters. “If you could stop getting beat up, it would really give my heart a break.”

Steve grins a little. “You worried about me? Thought it was my job to look out for you.”

He can't see him, but he's pretty sure Eddie's rolling his eyes. “Yeah, and who looks out for you, huh, asshole?”

Steve hums. “It's good to hear your voice. I missed you.”

Eddie's quiet for a moment. Then, “Do you want - do you need someone to come keep an eye on you, make sure you wake up every hour?”

He kind of wishes Eddie'd finished what he started to say, because yeah, he does want him, but that's not the question Eddie ended up asking.

“Robin's here,” Steve says. “She was caught in it, too, but she didn't get too injured. She's going to stay over tonight.”

There's a moment of silence.

“Right, of course,” Eddie mutters.

“Can you come over tomorrow?” Steve finds himself asking without really thinking about it. Eddie's never been over - he's technically never hung out with Eddie outside of school or work - but shit, he wants it. “I think the drugs'll be out of my system by then, so I won't be too annoying. You can meet Robin.”

“You do know I've met her, right?”

Steve makes a tsk noise. “You've met Robin from band, just like she's met Eddie from the lunch tables. But you don't really know each other, not like I-”

He cuts off, because he's not really sure he has the right to say that. Does he really know either of them like that?

Whatever. If he doesn't, he wants to.

“You do better as part of a trio, huh?” Eddie asks quietly.

“Well, yeah,” Steve agrees. “But this is different, this is better.”

Eddie snorts. “Sure, you're not the third wheel anymore.”

“It's not that,” Steve protests. It feels important for him to get this right, though he's not sure why. “I don’t care about being a third wheel, it never bothered me. But Tommy and Carol… there were always conditions, with their friendship. The older we got, the more there were. And I love Nancy and Jonathan-”

His heart spasms. He can't feel it, but he feels the emotions, and Robin's heartbeat in his own chest kicks up. He mutes the phone, for a moment, knocks on the bathroom door. “I’m okay!” he calls through it, feels a wave of relief coming from her, and lets himself feel simple, uncomplicated affection.

“But things are complicated with them,” he continues after he unmutes the phone. “I think they always will be.”

“And what, I'm uncomplicated?” Eddie asks, but he sounds more amused than anything else.

“You're something,” Steve agrees, not bothering to try not to sound warm and fond.

Eddie blows out a puff of air. “I have band practice tomorrow,” he says. “But I'll call you sometime later, okay?”

No, that doesn't sound okay.

“Is this one of those things where you're not really asking me if it's okay, you're just saying it so it sounds better?” Steve asks. “What would you do if I said it wasn't okay? If I said I really wanted you to come over?”

Eddie's quiet again. “Do you want me to come over?”

“Yes,” Steve replies immediately, because he's had it saved up since Eddie didn't finish asking him it in the first place.

If his heart were in his own chest, he's pretty sure it would be thumping in anticipation.

“Not tonight,” Eddie says finally. “But I do want to be friends with you, okay? I'll call you.”

He hangs up after that, and Steve stares at the phone until Robin comes out of the bathroom and finds him like that.

She doesn't have to ask what happened - probably because she felt what happened - she just sits next to him a while.

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

-----

Part 7

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally

[gayboysteve]

I just genuinely have to respond to this and I'm going to apologize in advance because I am ultimately a bitch and I don't always know how to speak without being one.

This is just a fundamentally flawed reading of the canon because it genuinely goes against... canon? The lawn mowing is described as an olive branch from Rust after the locker room fight. In the script. By the show runner. By Matthew Mccoughghgh and Woody Harrelson. It is not a calculated move on Rust's part to get at Marty. It's literally described as him trying to be neighborly. To be part of the body.

We're not supposed to see Marty's reaction and think that he's correct in the assumptions that he's making. He even gets a kicked dog look once Rust is driving off, that same look he always gets after he makes a mistake and realizes it immediately after. Rust leaves as soon as he senses the tension because he DIDNT account for Marty's reaction. (Mind you at this point Marty also already knows about his dead child and how that was what caused him to get drunk before the family dinner.)

It's also just. An average normal truck. This is NOT a big fuck off truck and I can only assume you think it is because the op of the tags isn't American. They didn't even make those kinds of big fuck off trucks in the 90s and the man just moved from another state. Why shouldn't he own a truck?

I think the way you describe the situation with Geraci is. Not an inaccurate reading of the scene but it also doesn't feel like a complete reading. Is Rust establishing dominance? Yes! But it's also after Geraci has been sitting there openly talking shit about him/to him. It's not the same thing as just going up to the biggest guy and picking a fight. Rust is responding to a perceived weakness by the other men in the precinct, and that response is a display to show he's not weak and won't just accept it.

But he lives in spaces that are aggressively not just male but masculine. Is he too good and pure to never pick up some of that patina?

This in particular is part of what inspired me to respond and not just hold my tongue. There's some unintentional language here that's very unpleasant. Essentially, "is rust too good and pure to not participate in masculinity?" We don't need to condemn masculinity as a concept when we're discussing the toxicity of the masculinity displayed.

Which brings me to Crash. Crash shows his underbelly. Sure. But getting frisked is actually not just rolling over. I'm sure at least half the people back there had to be frisked. Crash only really shows his belly to GINGER. During the robbery he's giving orders to the other bikers the entire time until the shootout starts. Just because they aren't listening to him doesn't mean Crash isn't trying to control the situation. And Rust DOES show his underbelly and let himself get pushed around- specifically by both of the Hart's. On multiple occasions! Literally even! In this very gifset! He lets them drag him into situations he doesn't want to be a part of all the time.

Also- I'm not really sure what these tags are trying to say. They're kinda nonsensical. You speak of him having a different brand of machismo than Marty and then... list the behaviors that Marty displays. And mention he has a truck.

Rust absolutely does have his own brand of machismo but a lot of it is centered more around his belief women and children need to be protected from men, his self-isolation, and his refusal to deal with his issues healthily or productively. He is undeniably a masculine character despite his placement within the narrative affording him to also exist within some of the feminine tropes. But him mowing Marty's lawn, or even just picking at Marty's fragile masculinity, is not one of those instances. I also feel like there's an inherent linking of toxic masculinity to just... masculinity existing that isn't necessary and ultimately leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Also citing a fanfiction when doing an analysis of the actual canonical facts placed in front of us is... well. That's sure not how critical analysis works as that is not canon or even supplementary canon material.

Edit to add: Laurie specifically states during dinner that she "denies him small arguments to build up his stamina" that's not a man always calculating and in control. He clearly let her push the trajectory of their relationship as lampshaded by that comment and the deleted scene.

RUSTIN COHLE

True Detective S01E03 "The Locked Room"

[susiekern]

wife me up - Gojo Satoru x y/n

a/n: wrote that at work, obv not proofread, my first time writing an actual y/n x character, so any feedback is appreciated

summary: when you first met Satoru, you didn't expected things to go that way, but an heir must do what is expected from them, right?

word count: 4,354

If someone would ask you about your relationship with Gojo Satoru, you'd probably cringe and say it was... complicated. But no one ever asked. They just assumed you'd already clicked, and things were great between you two. You were to get married after all. Well, if only it was that simple.

But let's start from the beginning.

You first met Satoru during an exchange event. He was a third-year student, already a living legend. You were a second-year and an heir to the y/s clan, its future. But back then, it didn't matter. When your paths crossed during a team battle and he saw you fight against Nanami Kento, he was impressed. Nanami was strong, probably a semi-first grade already only in his second year of high school. So at first, Gojo felt bad for a much smaller girl that stood in front of him. Surely that confident smirk on your lips would disappear in a minute or two. Imagine his surprise when you had won that fight, Nanami soon faced flat on the forest floor, bonded by shadows.

For a moment, Satoru was tempted to fight with you to see how long you could stand before losing. Whether you'd lose was not up to question. He was the strongest after all. But he also wasn't as ignorant as he painted himself to be. You would be a refreshing challenge if only he had time for a battle, even a short one. He had to follow the plan and complete the objective. So he left, giving you a last glance over his shoulder, catching your shiny eyes for a second or two.

You wouldn't meet again for many years, until a week after the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons. As a first-grade sorceress, you were in the middle of the battlefield when hell broke loose. Dealing with a special curse, with none other than Nanami Kento only a few meters behind your back, having his own fight and taking on a few curses at once. You've met throughout the years, first when he wanted to ask about your technique after the event, later keeping in touch and becoming friends.

Forming shadows into the blades, you send the final blow towards your enemy. You've been fighting for god knows how long already, exorcised dozens of curses, and it felt like you're still far from the end.

“I'll kill Geto myself, I swear. It was supposed to be my time off!” Nanami chuckles hearing you complain. He finished the last curse around and stood next to you for a moment.

“I'm sure Gojo’s taking care of it already.” You nodded and wiped your daggers of a mix created by fluids you didn't even want to list in your head. “I can also bet we're in a slightly better situation than Team Tokyo. Geto’s probably keeping the worst curses near himself.”

“You're doing a great job at encouraging me not to move to Tokyo. Kyoto seems so peaceful compared to your stories, and now this shit happens, and of course, Tokyo is right in the center.” Kento can't help but smile, even as he blocks a curse user attack a moment later, standing back to back with you.

“Isn't that why you're moving to Tokyo after New Year's? More action?” You decided not to answer, focusing back on the fight. Nanami didn't need to know the real reason behind your move. Besides, if everything goes according to your plan, soon you'll be able to forget all about it and enjoy the capital city as you wanted to since childhood.

---

Nothing went according to your plan.

When the elders invited you to a meeting, you expected to see your grandfather and a few others from your clan. Not grandpa, fucking elders of the big three families, and a couple more from clans you couldn't even name.

“Can't believe you're all here to discuss how I'm still single.” Your joke was ignored, rude. Grandpa started the same speech you've already heard hundreds of times. You're an heir, there's a responsibility you need to take and stand up to the expectations, blah blah. What you didn't expect was for the head of the Kamo family, a man probably in his 60s with a long black braid, to speak up.

“I don't think you understand the value of your grandfather's words, y/n y/s. In current times, families like yours, with a long history and such unique techniques, matter more than your humors. That's why, as elders, we all decided what will happen. Either you marry a man from one of the Three Families in the next two years or Yume does it. The choice is yours.”

You could feel your heart stop. In two years? Yume would be barely 16 if they even allowed her to wait for so long. Your sister hasn’t even started high school yet, and they threatened to marry her off? You shot a look of betrayal at your grandfather, but the man sitting there wasn't the same one who taught you basic defense or how to control your cursed energy. You were looking at the head of y/s family, the one who'd do anything to secure the future and position of the name. Even if it cost him his granddaughters. Your heart started beating again, but this time it was powered by anger as you went over options in your head.

But there was nothing you could do to protect both you and your sister. Even if you rebelled, she was under your grandpa's protection and control, you weren't her legal guardian, and she was still in Kyoto. The memory of a lively teenager who blabbered non-stop about how excited she was to start high school soon filled you with almost physical pain. You took a deep breath in, trying to suppress the urge to hurt as many elders in this room as you could before they'd kill you and start choosing a wedding dress for Yume.

“Who am I marrying?”

“I knew you were more reasonable than you pretend to be.” The head of your family, once your grandpa, smiled at you, ignoring the way your face turned in disgust. “We have come to an agreement about securing both y/s and Gojo family lineage by this marriage.”

“Gojo? But... isn't there only one living member?” Your question seemed to amuse some of the elders.

“Yes. You're to marry Gojo Satoru.”

Fucking hell.

---

A few days later you were set to meet with Satoru in a cafe close to Jujutsu High, a place he chose, and when your grandfather asked if you agreed, you simply nodded.

So that's how you ended up sitting with a mug in your hands, eyes fixed on the view behind a wall-tall window. You barely made it on time, but you remembered how many times Nanami complained about Gojo being always late. And apparently meeting his future wife was no exception, you thought when the white-haired man finally stepped into the cafe, looked your way, and first ordered something at the counter before sitting in the chair in front of you. Seeing him open his mouth, you decided to beat him and have the first, and hopefully the last, word.

“I'm not going to become a stay-at-home and cook-the-dinner wife. I'm not giving up my career as a sorceress. And I'm not giving birth to any heirs until I decide to.”

Gojo closed his mouth and was silent for a few seconds. Then he giggled. Giggled.

“Gojo Satoru, nice to meet you too.” He managed to say between laughs and hold his hand out to you. “I know that situation is... inconvenient, but what happened to at least polite introductions?”

You sighed and shook his hand for a second.

“Y/n y/s. You know we've met before, right?”

“Of course. I could never forget a woman who beat Nanamin in less than five minutes. I'm just trying to do this right.” He grinned at you. The situation is shitty, but at least the views are pleasant, you thought to yourself, noticing the dimples in his cheeks.

“With that being said..." Suddenly he got serious, pulled his sunglasses on top of the white hair, and looked into your eyes, hands resting at the table. “I'd never expect anyone to give up their job because of a marital status change. Especially not a sorceress as talented as you, y/n. And I don't expect an heir, at least not now or anytime soon. I want you to understand that I'm not going to force you into anything. The only reason I agreed to this is that I've had enough threats and debates on how I'll keep my clan existing if I can't find a wife. And guessing by your words and evident repulse at the thought of carrying an heir now, you're not exactly doing it to make your dreams come true too.”

You listened carefully to Satoru’s words, and you felt like at least a bit of weight had been lifted from your shoulders. This whole thing could be a lot easier if you're both on the same page.

“It was either me or my younger sister. And I'm not letting these old assholes marry a 14-year-old off to god knows who.” Satoru nodded and leaned back in the chair.

“So, you're moving to Tokyo? Now that you'll have a fiancé here?” He asked, a little smile back on his face.

“Already on the move. Although the apartment I applied for rejected me, apparently single women in their twenties are not the perfect tenants.” You sighed, thinking about your stuff in storage and an uncomfortable hotel bed you've slept in for the past few days. Gojo seemed to be lost in his thoughts for a moment before a waitress pulled him out of it by putting his coffee and a piece of chocolate cake on the table.

“Thanks.” He smiled her way, and poor girl, bless her sweet soul, almost ran away, blushing and giggling.

“How exactly were you unable to find a wife if you just gave this girl a heart attack by just smiling?” The man in front of you almost choked on his salted caramel double sweet cream latte when he heard your question.

“I'm not… It's not like... unimportant." Wiping a drop of liquid from his chin, he grabbed your phone with his free hand, put it in front of your face, and smiled triumphantly when face ID did its job. You were too stunned with his audacity to even ask what he was doing, instead looking as he tapped the screen.

“Here.” Finally, he gave you your phone back, the maps app opened, and an address was saved in it.

“Here…?” You repeated, probably the most confused you've been in your whole life.

“Move in here.”

“Gojo, I swear to god, if you don't explain what you're talking about, I'll lose my mind.” Giggle escaped his mouth, and blue eyes seemed to shine with... you weren't sure with what. Excitement? Mischief? Amusement?

“That's my home. That will be ours anyway when we get married. And knowing the shitheads’ elders are, they'll try to monitor if we're not fucking with them and if we're producing heirs.” You cringed at his word choice, even though he was probably right. “So let's fuck with them for real and act like we're delighted about this situation. They'll leave us alone, and we can always say we're having... issues with making an heir. That's not really something they can verify or control.”

You couldn't believe you were actually thinking about it. As crazy as it sounds, it made sense. Elders had way too much free time, and if they noticed you two not even trying, they'd intervene immediately. But living with Satoru? You just met, and it sounded surreal to even think about. “I have like two spare bedrooms, and with my work, I'm barely home anyway.” He decided to add like he was reading your mind.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

---

And that takes us to the present moment. It’s been a bit over a year since you moved in. Satoru wasn’t lying when he said he was barely home, but during the rare days off, you actually got closer. You probably could say you’re close friends now. You were also two adults working a stressful job, spending most of your free time together, which caused awkward situations from time to time. A glance here and there, a touch that lasts just a second too long to come off as casual, jokes that stopped being jokes at one point, turning to propositions filled with sexual tension instead. But neither you nor Satoru went further with it, brushing it off and changing the topic to something painfully casual.

Satoru thought you were actually making fun of him and his evident crush, while you saw it as a challenge of sorts, wondering how far you could go before he’d make a move or stop you. And ever since Satoru got you a gift and a cake with “Happy Anniversary” on it, exactly a year after you met in the cafe, you got impatient. And bolder in your moves.

You’d accidentally leave your clothes in your room, so, oh no, you need to walk through the entire house wrapped in a towel. Laying your legs over his lap, just a bit too close to his zipper. Insisting on checking on ALL of his wounds if he ever got hurt on the missions (that one happened only maybe two times so far, damn infinity).

“Maybe he just doesn’t like me. You know, like that.” You said one day, sitting with Shoko during her lunch break. You’ve known Ieiri for almost a decade now, you’ve met when she patched you up after an encounter with a special grade curse. She was the only one who knew exactly what your situation looked like.

“I’d have to be blind to believe that. Last week when we went for drinks and you got ready at my place? He almost choked on his own tongue. And he might wear this stupid blindfold or glasses, but it’s easy to guess where he’s looking.” Your friend shook her head and checked the time. “I still think you should make the first move. Better now than in a few years when you actually decide to make an heir. That’d be awkward.”

“God, don’t even say shit like that.”

“Speaking of heirs. How’s Yume?” Ieiri smoothly changed the topic. She loved you, truly, but watching that weird dance between you and Satoru made her regret some life choices.

“Good. I think she likes Tokyo more than Kyoto, and Gojo said she’s getting along with others.”

Yume started school last summer, and after a few months, she asked you if there was any chance of transferring to Tokyo High. She didn’t fit in at Kyoto, and you weren’t exactly surprised. After being around Tokyo school so much in the last year, Kyoto felt like a military camp in comparison. Yume was way too fragile for it, and her moving also meant you’d be around if she needed you. That’s how she ended up here, joining Satoru’s first years.

“Okay. I’ve got to go. I have a mission with Nanami, and he’ll kill me if I’m late.” You got up when your phone vibrated on Ieiri’s desk, a reminder about the meeting with Kento soon bright on the screen. You still wanted to say bye to Yume, something you did before every mission, just in case. You kissed Shoko’s cheek as she wished you good luck and left her office, heading towards the stadium. Chilly March air didn’t exempt the kids from training.

The first thing you’ve noticed when you get there is Satoru lying on the bench, probably taking a much-needed nap. When he came back from a week-long mission two days ago, he barely made it to his bedroom before falling asleep, or maybe passing out, you weren’t sure. Yesterday he spent most of the day sleeping off, only leaving the bed in the evening to eat the dinner you’ve prepared and watch a movie together. From what he told you, he only took a few two- or three-hour naps when he was away, and after a week even his body protested.

“Oh, y/s-san!” Itadori was the first to notice you, your sister, who sat next to him, focused on watching Megumi and Maki spar, abruptly turned, and made her way to you.

“I was wondering if you’d make it before leaving.” Yume said while being pulled into your arms for a hug.

“Sorry, kid. Had lunch with Shoko, and I overlooked the time.”

“How long you’ll be gone?” She asked after you pulled away, letting her breathe properly.

“I don’t know. Probably a few days.” That answer didn’t make your sister any less anxious. She wanted to become a sorceress herself, and she knew it was a dangerous job, but every time you were assigned a mission, Yume wanted to stop you from going.

“Be careful. And text me. And watch out.”

“Oi, mini-y/n, your sister is one of the best first-grade sorceresses, and she’s going with a special grade partner. She’ll be fine.” The teenager frowned when Gojo appeared out of nowhere next to her, and he ruffled her hair. “You’re up next with Nobara. Say bye-bye and go to her before she kills someone.”

Yume got on her toes to kiss your forehead, and without another word, she ran off towards the rest of the students. You sighed and looked at Satoru. He ditched his blindfold for a pair of sunglasses today, something he often did after longer missions, you’ve noticed. His hands were deep in the kangaroo pocket of his hoodie, the same one you’d sometimes steal from his closet.

“She’s paranoid, but she’s right. Be careful.”

“You’ve said it yourself, first grade and special grade. I’ll be fine.” You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Mr. Protection, going with you makes me feel a bit better, honestly.” Gojo smiled as you laughed at Nanami’s nickname, but before you could make a joke about it, he leaned forward and left a gentle kiss at the same spot Yume kissed a moment ago.

“Everything’s going to be fine, chill out guys.” You whispered just as Nanami entered the stadium and yelled at you to hurry up. When you turned back to Gojo, he was already back on his bench.

---

Everything went wrong.

That sentence was stuck in your head for the past few hours, when after five long days you were almost back home. Your torso was aching under the warm hoodie, and tight bandages were constantly pushing on sensitive skin, a similar situation on your thigh. Nanami, sitting in the driver’s seat, looked only a bit better, but you knew about a tightly bandaged wound on his chest.

“You’re sure you don’t want Shoko to look at it?” He asked for the hundredth time, and you’d argue about his protectiveness, but exhaustion was taking over.

“I just want to be home already.” Kento only nodded, hearing your tired answer, and the rest of the journey was silent, only soft music playing in the background.

You agreed earlier that he’d drop you off at home and drive to Jujutsu High on his own to report to Yaga and let Shoko patch him up. Maybe in a different order. Half an hour later, you climbed a few steps to the front door and opened it with trembling hands, almost dropping the keys twice. Nanami drove off only after the door closed behind you. It was fairly early in the evening, and guessing by the darkness in every room, Satoru wasn’t home yet. You dropped the duffel bag on the floor, almost falling next to it. Instead, you’ve made your body move to the bathroom and draw a warm bath, something your muscles would thank you for tomorrow.

---

While you tried to relax at least a little bit, Nanami made it to the base and went straight to Shoko’s office. The report could wait a bit longer, his wound that just wouldn’t stop bleeding probably couldn’t.

“Fucking hell, what happened to you?” Ieiri almost dropped a glass when he showed her ripped skin. She quickly got rid of the blood-soaked bandages and asked him to lie down.

“First grade my ass. There were two and one that I’d classify as a special grade.” The blonde man groaned, lowering himself on the bed as slowly as he could.

“How’s y/n?” Before he could answer, the doors opened, and Megumi stepped inside, his teacher right behind him. Fushiguro was holding his arm with the opposite hand, blood dripping down his shirt.

“Shoko, can you fix Megu- Nanamin?” Gojo almost stumbled, noticing the man. He took one look at his wounded chest, and the playful smile he walked in with was gone. “Where’s y/n?”

“Relax, she’s at home. She wasn’t as injured, and the guy in Akita healed the most of it.” Kento said, and before he could explain any further, the white-haired man was already gone. “Knight in a blindfold to the rescue.”

Shoko laughed and signaled Megumi to sit in a chair before focusing on Nanami’s wounds, murmuring something about kids and blindness.

---

You were out of the bath, making a cup of tea in the kitchen. Your body felt a lot better after soaking in warm water, finally out of the tight clothes, opting for an oversized t-shirt instead, fresh bandages on both thigh and torso. Slowly relaxing in the comfort of home, the shirt that smelled like Satoru’s perfume, favorite mug on the counter.

Finally putting your guards down. That’s also why you haven’t noticed an outburst of cursed energy in front of the house, where Satoru warped, since walking or driving would take too long. And after seeing Nanami’s injuries, he needed to see you’re okay.

“Y/n?!” His voice pulled you out of the exhaustion, and before you could even answer, he was already in the doorway, having traced your energy. He took his blindfold off, making slow steps towards you, looking at every millimeter of your body he could see.

“Hi, Toru.” You said, almost shyly, fully aware of his intense stare on your bandaged leg, shirt not doing much to hide it. Finally, his eyes met yours, he took a deep breath in, and you could swear he was about to scold you. He didn’t.

Satoru took one more step your way, and in the blink of an eye, you were sitting on the counter, his warm body between your legs and arms around your back in a gentle embrace. You slowly wrapped your own arms around his neck, feeling him lean his head onto your shoulder.

“What the fuck happened?” He asked quietly. His voice was low and raspy, filled with emotions you couldn’t name properly.

“There were three curses instead of one. But I’m okay, really. Kento took the worst blows on himself.” Your fingers instinctively tangled into snow-white hair, nails gently scratching the skin. You felt how Gojo got tense at first, slowly relaxing. You were safe at home, you weren’t bleeding out, and he was holding your body in his arms. The nerves that filled his mind as soon as he saw Nanami were disappearing with each breath you took close to his ear, each pass of your fingers through soft hair, and every second he spent surrounded by your warmth and scent.

“I almost had a heart attack when I saw Nanami’s wound. All I could think about was if you got a similar one.” Satoru whispered after a few moments. One of his hands was now caressing your back, but he wasn’t sure if it was supposed to calm you or him. Another minute or so later, he gently pulled away, but he was still so close that if you leaned forward, your lips would meet. And Toru seemed to think about it too, his eyes now focused on your lips. “I’ll explain to Yaga why next time if you’re not paired with me, you’re not going.”

“Don’t blame Kento. He saved my life probably more times than I could count on this mission alone.” He smiled softly, like he was amused by what you said.

“I’m not blaming him. He looks like a damn Jigsaw played on his chest, obviously, he did his best.” His forehead leaned onto yours, and you can now feel his lips on yours, gentle touches, almost ghostly, with every word. “But I’m responsible for protecting my future wife. I can do that without getting a cut. So next time you’re taking your fiance with yo-” He didn’t finish. You didn’t let him. Grabbing the collar of his uniform, you barely needed to move to kiss him. And Satoru reacted in less than a second, cupping your cheek with one hand, the other one gently on top of the bandaged thigh.

After a year of thinking, wondering what kissing Satoru would feel like, dreaming about it even, you finally know. And you don’t know what’s with this man, but this feeling—his soft lips on your, tongue slowly exploring your mouth, a gentle bite on your lower lip—was addictive. Just one taste left you hungry for more, mind almost clouded as he pulled away slightly, pulling a quiet moan from you with him. He grinned proudly, looking deep into your glazed eyes, thumb caressing your cheekbone down to the jaw.

“I may rethink this whole producing an heir thing.”

And just like that, the thick mood is gone as you start to laugh, leaning your forehead on Gojo’s collarbone.

“I’m serious. Yaga can’t send you on missions like that one if you’re carrying an heir of not one, but two families.” You shook your head and looked up to him.

“Slow down, Romeo. We kissed after a year of engagement, at least wife me up before talking about any heir.” You joked and pecked his lips one more time.

“Next weekend?”

“Sure, love.”

Only a week later, you realize Satoru wasn’t joking.

[nightmareweaverz]

What is Love? (Mr. Gap x GN!Reader) Part 3

Part 1 || Part 2

CW: Minor character death, canon typical violence, a bit of gore, slight angst

Wordcount: 2538

Here is the third part of "What Is Love?" The next part will be the last one! This has honestly been a lot of fun to write.

Room after room after room, you’ve traveled. Each time a resident appears in your path, you ask them if they know where the exit is. It does not yield many results. If there’s a word for elevator in the other language, you don’t know it. And that, perhaps, is not aiding your search. Still, you persist.

Robin’s frightful nature doesn’t improve much over time. At the very least, it’s keeping him safe. He doesn’t enter rooms before you do and he doesn’t touch anything before you’ve confirmed it’s safe. Part of you is grateful for it.

“Could we rest somewhere for a bit? I'm getting a little tired,” Robin says gently after what's probably been hours of walking.

“Yeah, I suppose we should.”

Sparing him any additional injuries has come at a price. After the incident with the toys, you’ve chosen to run from many residents whom you would’ve had no issue subduing on your own. A fight comes with greater risks of injury. As a result, you may have depleted him of energy.

A tiny room, containing a couch and two smashed lamps ends up as your chosen temporary base. Before you allow Robin to sleep there, you check every piece of furniture to make sure nothing hides beneath or inside of them.

He tries to get you to rest with him, but you refuse. Someone has to keep watch. And you’ve come to learn your new body can work on two types of fuel: blood and sleep. You can supply it with one of them later and it will last you plenty of time.

For now, you slide down the wall, just outside the room and settle in a criss cross position. The absence of anything to read makes you wish you’d put in the effort to carry at least one. Perhaps you should search for a bag or backpack after you send Robin off.

Instinctively, you glance around in search of holes in the wall or ceiling. There are none. This is a little disheartening. Despite the way you last parted, Mr. Gap has somehow become someone you’re capable of missing.

Then you suddenly feel something poking your back. Your immediate reaction is to jolt up, crowbar held in preparation. Only to find that you’d set yourself in front of an open drain. Your void dwelling companion is staring back at you, happy with himself for startling you.

“Oh. Hello,” you greet him normally, as if your previous encounter didn't end with you insulting him.

“Human leave?” he asks.

It takes you a moment to realize he isn’t talking about you.

“No. They sleep. Me protect.”

This, for some reason, makes him grimace. Does he dislike Robin that much? They haven’t even interacted yet. What does he have against him?

“You not like they? Why?”

“They not fun.”

You expect him to elaborate, but he does no such thing. Similarly to how he explained why he hangs around you a while back. Because “you are fun.” Whatever that means. You shake your head in defeat.

“Me bored. You give paper?” you decide to try your luck. You’d even be willing to give him a few fingers right now in exchange for something to do.

He seems to be considering it. When he speaks again, you expect him to name his price, hopefully an organ you’ll have an easy time parting with and wouldn’t take long to heal.

“Me want touch.”

This is… new. He hasn’t mentioned any form of touch ever since you gave him that little lesson on romantic love. The fact that he now wants it for a reason other than curiosity makes you feel… odd. Restless, in a way. Like there are flies buzzing in your stomach.

“Me give touch, you give paper,” you conclude.

“Yes!” He sounds a little too happy about this arrangement. But there is no telling what he’s thinking, as usual.

You reach inside the drain and set your hand on top of his head. His hair feels rough and a little damp like the rest of him. You feel a few tangled knots as you caress it gently. Although he must’ve been expecting one of the gestures you’d shown him before, he appears intrigued by this as well.

“Not special touch?”

“You not stay what touch. Me give touch.” It is your turn to be smug.

The corners of his mouth drop and his eyes narrow in annoyance. Was he really hoping for kisses and hand holding? Why do you find that cute?

“Give paper?” you ask, now suddenly feigning innocence.

Still mumbling grumpily, he shoves a magazine your way. It’s impossible not to giggle at his displeasure. He really is bad at reaping what he sows.

You turn your attention to the magazine he gave you. This time, it’s a travel magazine. A surprisingly new one. It’s a little damp and the edges of the pages are curled, but the pictures still have vivid colors and the paper hasn’t yet gained that old, yellowish appearance most other books here have.

But when you look at the cover more closely, you hesitate to open it. It features a tall building. One that looks similar to the one you always used to see on your way home. Home…

You flip through it slowly. And with every page you turn, a suffocating ache grows in your chest. There are pictures of breathtaking landscapes, cliffsides, beaches, jungles, pools and cities. There are pictures of people eating ice cream, pictures of busy streets and local dishes, of bread and potatoes and cake and spicy sauces. You don’t even notice your hands have started trembling.

You eventually stop at a picture of a flower field spread over two pages. Purple flowers reign over half its surface and, above them, a deep blue sky occupies the rest. You can almost smell the perfume, feel the wind in your hair, see the fluffy clouds idling by. The ache in your chest is becoming unbearable.

“What wrong?”

Mr. Gap’s voice suddenly yanks you out of your sorrowful daydream. You’re surprised to find he hasn’t left yet.

“Not like paper?”

You shake your head. “Me like paper. Me want… me want to go where paper show. Me not go. Me different.”

You wonder if someone like him can even understand what you're feeling. He can go wherever he pleases using his little teleportation ability. Meanwhile, you're stuck here. Forever.

He doesn’t say anything at first. Perhaps he’s confused again. But then he declares: “Me good! Me research.” Then he’s gone.

What it is he is hoping to research, you don’t know. But Mr. Gap has surprised you before. Maybe he’ll do it again.

You try to push any depressing thoughts aside and resume reading the magazine without thinking too much about what you will be missing out on for the rest of eternity. You are mostly successful.

A few residents pass by, but none try to pick a fight, which comes as a relief. Eventually, Robin finally emerges from the room. He appears to be in a better mood.

“I needed that. Thank you for keeping watch. It helped me sleep soundly.” He smiles. You're not sure you've seen him smile until now. It suits him better than the constant frightful expression he always wears.

“Don't mention it.”

You set the magazine down by the open vent and take off, motioning for Robin to follow. It would not be wise to dally anymore. Anytime now, he will begin to change. You have to get him out before that happens.

He does as you ask without protest.

“So, um. How much longer until we reach the exit?”

“I don't know. The hallways always change. But we're looking for an elevator. And it's best we find it sooner than later,” you respond.

“I see…”

His expression shifts into nervousness. You want to reassure him that he will make it out, that you’ll make sure of it. But that’s something you aren’t sure you’ve even convinced yourself of yet.

“Do you like reading?” he asks eventually.

“I do, since I started living here. It helps pass the time.”

“My boyfriend also likes reading. He drags me to bookstores sometimes. His favorite are murder mysteries, but sometimes he picks up those useless self help books that don’t actually help much.” Tears glisten in his eyes. “I… can’t even remember what I last said to him before I ended up here. I hope it wasn’t anything bad…”

Boyfriends and bookstores, wanting to say sweet words to loved ones before you disappear. All of these bring back that awful annoying ache. The reminder they are not for you anymore. Part of you pities him and another is so envious that it hurts. Because he still has hope.

“...what's he like? Your boyfriend.”

Robin sniffles and rubs his eyes as he walks. “He's kind and considerate. Sometimes he can be a little exasperating. But that's part of loving someone.”

It is? In books and shows, they always show it as some sort of blissful feeling that melts your insides and makes your life perfect.

“This may sound like a weird question. Sorry. But how do you know you love him?”

“I think about him often. And when he's not there, I wish he was. And if he were to love someone else, I'd lose my mind.” He grins bitterly.

That sounds oddly simple. No flowery language or everly complicated declarations. Just wanting someone at your side. It actually sounds pleasant.

“Are you in love?” Robin asks suddenly, taking you by surprise.

“Why would I be?” you answer with another question.

“Usually, when people ask things like this, they're trying to understand their own feelings.”

“I've just been reading. And the love in books confuses me. I was wondering if it's the same in reality.”

Robin laughs. “Of course not. In reality, it's a lot more mundane, though you can still have romantic moments. Fiction highlights the good parts. But there's both good and bad. Sometimes your lover will eat all the cookies before you get home or they'll refuse to put on headphones while listening to music. But then when the jar is entirely full and the music is gone, you miss even the less pleasant things…”

It sounds like Robin really loves his boyfriend. You wonder what it's like, being that important to another person. Could someone like you have that?

There comes that ache again. You push it down, hide it somewhere deep inside yourself.

“...we'll get you back to him.”

Robin doesn't respond, but he smiles fondly.

Your conversation is cut off when you notice someone approaching down the hallway. Immediately, you prepare your crowbar. But as the figure draws closer, it proves to be someone familiar.

It’s Mr. Stitch. Out of all the people you could’ve been reunited with since you’ve returned here, it had to be this guy. And to make matters worse, he recognizes you as well.

“You!” he calls out and points. “Me know you!”

Robin quickly retreats behind you like a scared duckling running to its mother.

“Who they?” Mr. Stitch points at Robin next.

“They friend. You go. Me not like you,” you state bluntly.

Your declaration only seems to amuse him. That awful smile of his grows. “Friend? Me not take?”

“Me smash your head when you take.”

Mr. Stitch does not look deterred in the slightest. If anything, he seems more interested after seeing your reaction. You should've seen it coming, knowing him and how much he loves messing with people's emotions.

“Where you go?”

“W-what are you guys talking about?” Robin asks, growing more nervous by the second.

“Nothing important. In fact, it's about time we leave.”

You grab Robin by the arm and drag him after you.

But as you attempt to pass by Mr. Stitch, he suddenly swerves behind Robin and holds him in place. In your irritation and panic, you get ready to swing at him. But then you notice the knife pressed to Robin's neck. You freeze in place.

“You angry?” Stitch asks, for you refuse to give him the respect of an honorific any longer. He is loving the worry mixed with furry on your face.

“Let them go.” You try to sound imposing. You hope you do. Whenever you're about to kill someone, you play the innocent and sweet act, so they wouldn't see it coming. Intimidation is not your forte.

“Where you go?”

“We leave here. Go other world,” you begrudgingly answer.

“Me know where! You play! Fun!”

Your jaw clenches in annoyance. It’s getting harder and harder to think straight. This is bad. If you lose control now, you are going to kill both Stitch and Robin.

“Not play. Let human go.”

Focus, focus, focus. You can do it, you can get him out safe. You need to.

Stitch tilts his head, seemingly weighing his options. He must be entirely unaware of the fate awaiting him.

“You not play? You not fun. Me eat huma-”

Before he gets to finish his sentence, you raise your hand in his direction.

Go to hell. Go to hell. Go to hell.

Then you bring it down. All that is left of him is a pile of blood and guts.

Robin screams in terror and immediately backs into a wall. His pants are stained red, but he is unharmed. The horror on his face brings you back to reality.

“Robin, I had to do it. He would’ve killed you!”

“How did you do that?! He suddenly became minced meat. You didn't even touch him!” Now he's trembling.

You take a step towards him and he takes one back. The way he's looking at you has gone back to the way he looks at all the residents. You know why and yet, it still hurts.

“Please don’t do anything stupid. It's too dangerous to go on your own.”

For a moment, you think he's going to take off running. But slowly, he stops trembling and nods. Then he begins to walk the same way you'd been walking before Stitch showed up. You follow at a distance, head hung low and hand wrapped around your crowbar so tight that it stings.

You go the rest of the way in silence. He doesn’t start up anymore conversations and you don’t dare attempt it yourself. It’s not the first time someone’s condemned you for taking a life. But it’s the first time it has an effect on you.

And then you finally find the elevator.

It sits under an eerie green light, just like it did when you found it in the past.

“This is it. You can go home now.”

“Is this really the exit?” He steps towards it cautiously.

Before he's close enough to press one of the buttons, Robin turns around to face you. “I… thank you.”

He doesn't sound certain about his choice of words. Maybe he would've rather called you a monster.

“I hope you and your boyfriend are happy. Don't go wandering into anymore strange buildings.”

He nods, avoiding your eyes. Then he turns and, as the door opens, he says over his shoulder: “Goodbye.”

Just like that, he’s gone.

And you lose your mind.

[rainyskies-tw]

Dear Cecil,

As someone who spends a lot of time casually watching YouTube videos on defense and firearms topics, this game melts my brain a bit. There's a lot of horrible choices in the vehicles and weapons used.

One of the worst examples of this game probably just using generic assets from shooter games is this.

This armored vehicle (center, far right) is very clearly a US (or otherwise non Israeli) Stryker APC, based on the aircon units on the side. :

According to this list, that's not an IDF operated vehicle, so how said vehicle ended up at an IDF base without an American soldier in sight is beyond me.

Next up on the confusing choices of items, I present the suppressed IWI (and Magnum research) desert eagle.

Apparently the one thing this representation of this gun gets right is how fucking long the suppressor is.

Ammo capacity is very wrong, with the max (normal) capacity of a desert eagle being 9+1, 16 rounds of anything would require an extended mag not featured here. Also would not actually be all that sneaky, the slide moving back would still make a ton of noise, no matter how much work the suppressor is doing.

Other nitpicks:

The USA carbine listed is wrong on so many levels.

It for some reason lacks a rear sight. Is also not an accurate depiction of most of the IDF's AR pattern rifles. They either operate modernized m16s with the old fixed carry handles, with some newer parts added.

^ stuff like this

Or newer M4A1s, with again different parts on em, specifically the handguard and grips compared to the platonic image of a M4A1 from media depictions.

(IDF M4A1s for context)

This missile launcher is again, not IDF, heck I'm not sure *what* it is.

Merkava is missing like, all the markings

(there's supposed to be markings on the mudflaps, as per this YouTube video)

The USA LMG is... Belgian.

Is FN minimi (Belgian gun)

The Tavor is missing a sight

All in all this game really has not really thought through what the weapons and vehicles should be for the game presented. I now want brain bleach for both the content of this game and the horrible firearms in this game.

Send brain bleach,

Rainy

Um what the actual fuck

People are totally having a normal one recently /s.

Totally a normal thing to make a game reenacting the biggest mass killing of jews since the holocaust /s

[sugawhaaa]

🕯BANGCHAN ONE-SHOT🕯

♟️👑The fall of a king👑♟️

Warnings:: MENTIONS OF RELIGION If you are faithful I highly recommend not reading this and if you do I do not take religious criticism

Genre:: fantasy, demon AU, slow burn

Pairing:: demon!king!bangchan x fem!angel!reader

A/N:: this story has got me hooked. Too bad no one's reading this series 💀 womp womp their loss

Taglist:: @velvetmoonlght @lattyjiji

🎧::

As Bangchan walked back from Lee knows room he looked worried and stressed, so much so he bumped into you. He quickly grabbed you. "Oh sorry," he smiles and helps you back up to balance. "How are you finding your stay here?" He smiles and you glance around nervously. "Is everything okay? You seem...anxious?" He leans down to your level slightly and you shake your head.

"I'm okay just...Minho is on my mind..." you sigh and Bangchan nods.

"I understand. It's hard the first time you see...it," he looks down. "Here, why don't you come to my room with me and we can talk about it okay? There's...some things I think you should know," he smiles and a hint of excitement jolts through you. You were finally getting some answers in this twisted place.

Once Chan led you to his room, the two of you sat on the bed and Chan began telling the story of a lifetime. "Minho was the first lord I came across. I didn't know it at the time but, haha, he's a handful. He was terrorizing my castle here in Hell and I went out to face him, sword and shield in hand. I was told he was some kind of indescribable creature. Wings, tail, horns, scales, fangs, and glowing eyes. He was a beast," your eyes widen at bangchans description of past Lee know.

"He was a beast?" You repeat and Chan nods.

"But once I sheathed my sword I realized he had a human soul and most of all his eyes were fearful. Somehow I got the fool to calm down and he was just a young boy, only about 10 years old," Chan explains, and the story enticed you. "I took care of him and raised him as my own. Before I knew it this little boy is a grown man. He still has outbursts, like you saw, and sometimes he gets destructive but he has come a long way. Honestly, I'm proud of him,"

Minhos story of growth had you feeling a lot better honestly. He used to act like this all day everyday but he's brought it down to once every maybe 2 to 3 weeks. What a strong man...then you thought of the words you overheard from Chan "You're being weak". You look up at Chan but only find sincerity in his eyes.

"Something else is on your mind. Am I right?" He puts a hand to your back, below your wings, and you nod.

"I just...I feel like everyone here is hiding something from me. I feel...distant," you look down at your hands and bangchan smiles.

"Well that's how most people are in Hell. Everyone here has painful, very painful, stories that they don't just share with anyone. You need to build your relationship with these demons Y/N. They aren't just any people. They are made from history," Chan explains and you look up at him surprised.

"What do you mean made from history?" You ask eagerly and Chan laughs.

"As you know we are the eight sins of humankind so we were born from events that heavily displayed these human sins. When Athelstan began his rule over England I was born. During the first mass murder or war, were not quite sure, Minho was born. Hyunjin was born during the Egyptian times and Changbin was born in ancient Rome. However we are not as old as these times. It's a little hard to explain," Chan blushes.

"How was...how was Hyunjin born? Isn't lust kind of...I dunno always been around?" You shrug and Chan laughs.

"I suppose you're right but the Egyptians fed into the lust the most out of all history, supposedly. You also have to remember that Egyptians came very early in the history of the world," Chan explains and you nod. "So they were some of the first people to feel this lust to reproduce and Hyunjin was born,"

"Hyunjin must be powerful..." you look down at your feet. "Even I've felt his strength," you admit and Chan smiles.

"I think we all have," he puts a hand on your back. "And we believe that Hyunjin is one of the strongest lords, if not the strongest. Humans are dirty creatures," Chan winks. "Maybe you should talk to Hyunjin about some of this if you're so curious," bangchan suggests and you blush.

"N-No I couldn't...he...he scares me," you admit and bangchan laughs.

"But Minho doesn't? Or Felix? I saw you sitting in Felix's room," Chan elbows your shoulder and his comment confuses you. "C'mon, let's go pay Hyunjin a visit. He gets lonely easily," Chan laughs and you feel paralyzed as he drags you to hyunjins room.

《??? Ending》

"What an idiot!" Envy slams his hands against the table startling sloth awake. "Going to lust before me. He knows. he's trying to piss me off!"

"Oh shut up Chan doesn't care about you," sloth rolls his eyes. That sentences strikes Envy in the heart.

"Fuck off you useless pest. Get out of my room damnit!" Envy stomps over to Sloth. "Everyone loves to push my damn buttons," Envy sighs.

Masterlist

[amphibiahawks321]

can I get a teen titans jinx x reader she's bad luck and he's good luck

[Jinx leaning against a wall with her arms crossed along with her usual smirk]

Jinx : You still don't get it huh? Bad things happen when I'm around, best you stay away charm boy, for your own good

[Y/N smiling warmly, stepping closer]

M!Reader (Smiling) : Bad things? Or just things you can't control? Chuckles... there's a difference, you know

[Jinx now glaring at Y/N with a confused expression]

Jinx : You think this is some kind of game? I'm cursed, y'know? People usually get hurt, things fall apart onto somebody, and i—

[Y/N gently interrupting her]

M!Reader : And maybe that's why you need someone like me! ^v^

[Jinx pauses, her voice softening]

Jinx : Hehe, someone like you? And what's that supposed to mean exactly?

M!Reader : Good luck! You know, the counterbalance to all your chaos! Perhaps I'm here to make sure you don't have to handle all that alone

Jinx : You're just saying that, No one sticks around once they see what I can do y'know–

[Y/N takes her hand, his voice gentle]

M!Reader : Then how about I prove you wrong, you always get yourself in a fight, maybe it's time someone fought for you instead!

[Jinx staring at him, now her expression softening]

Jinx : Sighs.... Chuckles.... You're insane, you know that? But that's exactly why keeping you around is so much fun~

[lanaroff]

Unwanted- Part 5

Paring: Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: Y/N is an enhanced SHIELD agent who is forced to work with the Avengers. What happens when they discover that she’s not alone?

A/N: I actually don't know where this series is going. But I have so many ideas. Feels good to be back!

"So how does it work?" Peter asked while he was playing with his fingers looking around.

"How does what works?" You confusingly asked without taking your eyes off the road.

"The thing with the alien, you know V..."He stared saying. However, he was cut by the sound of the breaks stopping abruptly the car.

"Don't" You said sighting. "Don't say it's name when I'm driving. We trained it to come out at the mention of its name. You don't want to see it crashing the car, do you?"

The young boys eyes were full of both wonder and fear. You didn't own him an explanation about why the name should not be mentioned under certain circumstances, but you knew what kind of kid he was, and how talkative he could be.

"Sorry, Miss Y/L/N. I didn't know." He said it with an apologetic look on his face.

The ride back to your apartment was normal. You were aware that he was late for school, and probably would end up in detention for it. But you both agreed to go to your apartment first if he could go on the passenger seat right next to yours.

After a long, long, long trip, where Peter talked about his suit, his friends, his projects, how cool Stark was, and how cool working with the Avengers was, you finally made it out to your apartment. Sure, the trip wasn't thaaat long, but to you it felt like ages.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." You said as you walked inside your apartment.

You enter your office looking for your safe box. You knew that maybe leaving important files was not the best thing, so you were more than in a hurry to find them. Once you stood in front of the box, you entered the password and opened it. As you took your files, you heard steps coming from your living room. Immediately you turn to Venom and prepare yourself in case you needed to kill someone.

However, the moment you stood foot in the other room, a loud sound stunned you, and suddenly the feared creature was no longer in control. Turning yourself back, you dropped to your knees and cried the pain in your head. You were fighting to keep yourself conscious; you couldn't give up. As you were about to stand on your feet, someone pushed you back to the floor.

"You know, we were expecting it to be more difficult. I guess you are just weak." A man that stood in front of you stared saying. "You are a hard fish to catch, let me give you that."

"Go. Fuck. Yourself." You said between groans. Your head was killing you, but your mind was too busy thinking about how to get out of there.

"Oh yeah, I will. After I get paid for delivering you to the boss." He said between laughs.

How did these people knew about Venom's weakness? Only you and some man at SHIELD knew about it, as it was supposed to be confidential information. Only you, Fury, Natasha, Hill, and...

"Rumblow." You said, looking straight into the man's eyes.

As you waited for the main man to give you any kind of confirmation that in deed it was Rumlow behind it, another man came into the room.

"Sir, we found a kid trying to enter the apartment. What do we do with him?" He said as a brunette man followed him with a sacred Peter Parker.

Peter's head was being held by the man's arm, and a gun was being pressed on his skull. You immediately tried to stand on your two feet; however, your body betrayed you, making you fall once again.

"Kill him." He said, as he saw your reaction upon seeing Peter being held. You could let the kid die; otherwise, you were dead. They will never forget you if Peter dies. How would Wanda look at you after realizing that it was your fault?

"NO!" You screamed as you finally pulled your body out of the ground to tackle the man standing in front of you. "PETER RUN NOW!"

And he did as you said. Peter quickly used his strength to pull himself out of the man's arms to run towards you. Immediately you stood up and grabbed Peter so he was behind you.

"Listen to me carefully, Peter. I'm going to need you to run as fast as you can. Did you hear me?" You said it without taking your eyes off the intruders.

"But Miss..."

"No. They can't know what you are capable of doing. Now do what I say and leave. Don't look back; don't come to get me; just run and find Stark." You finished whispering so only he could listen to what you were saying.

The truth was that you knew that Peter could take them down. But if these people wanted to take you to where Rumblow was, then you were more than eager to let yourself be taken.

With a nod that confirmed you that he understood his assignment, Peter ran as fast as he could towards the living room window. Guns were fired at him while you stopped one of Rumblow's men to follow him. As soon as he reached the window, he jumped, and you were once again on the living floor in pain. But relived knowing that he was no longer there.

"You bitch! You are going to regret that" Was the last thing that you heard as you were hit with the back of a gun, leaving you unconscious.

You woke up really hot. And not in the nice way. Your body felt as if you were on fire, as in you were being burned from the inside to the outside. The moment you opened your eyes, you saw yourself chained to a stretcher, and the heat came from right underneath it.

"Rise and shine." You heard a voice saying. Immediately you clench your jaw as you recognize who's voice was.

"You know, you should've told me that you had a sunbed. I would've wore my bikini." You said spitting his face.

"Keep that attitude, and you know how it will end." Romblow said wapping his face.

"I'm counting on it, dumbass." You said with a big smile on your face.

The truth was, you loved it. Not the burning pain that you were feeling. But being so close to Rublow. Knowing that he actually was scared. Because boy, you had all the time in the world, but he? He knew the clock was ticking and that he had a few hours before S.H.I.E.L.D. would know your location.

"I could kill you right here right now." The man in front of you said grabing you by the hair.

"I know, but she won't allow you, will she? You are scared of her, I can see it." You replied.

"You are right. But that's the thing. I'm not going to kill you. Nah!" He said as he walked next to a table full of surgical instruments. "I'm going to destroy every hope you have of taking down Hydra." He grabbed a scalpel with one hand and, with the other, grabbed the back of your head. "I'm going to kill your new friends, so you have no one." He said while pressing the blade down your head hard enough to make you bleed but not enough to cut you too deep. "And after that, I'm going to free it, and then they will see you as their threat. And when you realize that you are alone and hopeless, then I will take you to HER. She can't wait to see you and continue with the work she started. You will be all hers!"

"Fuck you!" Was all you dared to say. You couldn't go back to her. You had come so far to be back at that place. Sure, you hated S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avangers, but deep down you knew that they were the only path to revenge. You needed them; you needed Venom. And he knew it.

"Bring Dr. Ackermann. Now!" Romblow said to one of his soldiers.

Back at the compound, the things were not better. Peter had come burst through the door screaming for help, alarming the whole team.

"Hey kid, slow down, what happened?" Tony asked him.

"It's... um... It's miss Y/L/N... We were at her place, and some guys came over, and they... um, they took her. She is gone." He said

The team shared the same worrying expression. You were supposed to take Peter to school; how could something like that happen? But most important, who would do something like that?

"What do you mean she is gone Peter?" Natasha asked.

"They had this device that was emitting some sound that hurt her. And she couldn't move. She asked me to come to you guys. We need to help her." Peter said. Upon hearing what Peter said, Natasha sent him with Bruce to the medbay to see if he had any injuries.

"You know something, don't you?" Wanda asked the spy. She knew something bad had happened. Maybe something related to your hatred thowars Hydra? She didn't know. All she knew was that she had to help you, just like you did with her.

"Y/N has a bomb in her head." Natasha said. The team were left speechless. Wanda couldn't comprehend why. Why would you have that on you? You were not a bad person; she was sure of that. You just needed someone to take care of you. Why would someone put that device on your head?

"What do you mean?" Tony asked.

"When S.H.I.E.L.D. got their hands on Y/N, she was unstable. She couldn't control Venom, in fact, it controlled her. So Fury decided that the best thing to do was to build a device that could control Venom, since she couldn't do it. It turns out that loud sounds and fire are one of it's weaknesses. They built a device that emits piercing sounds straight to her brain." Natasha explained.

Inmediatly, Wanda understood the events of the first night that she encountered the alien. That ringing noise that she heard, the way you twisted in pain, how Venom froze. You were just trying to protect her, and in doing so, you were hurting yourself.

"Okay, and what does this have to do with the bomb?" Bucky asked.

"One time while we were training, she lost control of her body to Venom. It was a disaster; four agents died that day. Venom just tear them apart. So she asked Fury to put a bomb in her head, so if she ever loses control again, she will eliminate Venom before it harms anyone."

"And by that, you mean that'she will eliminate herself'?". Sam asked. As soon as those words left Sam's mouth, Wanda had to leave the room. She just felt like it was too much for her. She felt nauseous.

She had to get out of there.

Wanda run to your room. It was the first time since the incident that she actually got to see it. It was almost empty. There was nothing that really reminded her of you. And that showed her how little she knew you. When she first came to the Avengers Towel, she felt lost. She had just lost Pietro, and she was all alone. Like you. You both had lost so much. She was determined to help you. She wanted to help you. Who knows, maybe one day you two could grow up and be friends, she thought. All she knew was that she couldn't leave you like that.

She came back to where she had left her teamates with another set of thoughts. "What's the plan?" Wanda said.

"I just talked to Fury; he has her location. She has a tracker, just in case something like this happens" Natasha said.

"Alright team, suit up." Said Steve.

[aikrus]

"You're haunting me."

i don't think aizawa would let you go easily, and i'm probably not gonna do anything with this

"I love you," he breathes like that explains it all.

You step away and it's so natural these days that you don't even shake.

"I don't know what to do without you."

He's grabbing your wrist, tight but tender and you can feel the sparks traveling from the tips of your fingers straight through your ill stomach.

Looking at him, you can tell just how genuine the words are. He's a mess, glossy eyes and red, patchy skin. His lips are cracked and he seems breathless, he seems desperate.

You've seen him like this before.

"We can't keep doing this," you shake your head and plead he'll understand; but you know better. It's been nonstop in this give and take of yours, as foolproof as the water cycle.

"We can do this," he insists, but there's no point. His grey eyes spark with life and promise and hope, and despite the grimy streets he stood on Shouta was- without a doubt- beautiful in a radiant holy manner.

Last time, you think receiving that look along side the gentle stroke of his thumb across the inside of your wrist was enough.

"I can't."

You don't look at him- refuse to in fact and the tightening of his grip solidifies your resolve.

His breath hitches, it's a rare thing and hurts all the more. "But you love me. And you know I love you too."

He says it like it makes sense, like in this situation that's all that should matter. Still, too many nights were spent awake and in fear.

You knew too much, after the first time you kept seeing through more and more of this glamour he draped over you like a blessing.

He'll keep pushing. He'll never stop if you don't end it here and it's itching at your heart.

"It's not enough."

You wait a second and settle your stomach easily despite the acid rushing up your throat while hiding behind your closed eyes. "You're not enough."

He lets you go. It could be over, but seeing his foot step closer you figured it may take a little more- he's the type to need to draw conclusions by himself.

You rip your now free arm away from him and stumble back. He looks shocked and hurt, and people are starting to not so subtly group together and watch.

"You're a ghost, Shouta; my own personal monster to terrorize my every breathing moment. I wake up in the morning gasping for air and sleep each night so sure I won't open my eyes again."

You feel tears start to rush and let them flow without resistance. If he sees the way people look at him now he might let go a little easier.

"My phone rings and I'm shaking in fear, and I watch my words even though I know it wouldn't matter." He looks at you with a new layer of shock and maybe horror, though after a second it seems like nothing more like disappointment and regret.

You'd thrown the wire's he'd dispersed around the room that morning. He must've thought they'd be harder to see than the cameras, but your lover was known to underestimate you.

"I can't keep living like this." You look in his eyes clearly now, letting the grim expression filled with heartbreak etch itself uselessly in your memory.

He may not believe you yet, but you square your shoulders and speak directly: "I won't live like this."

It sounds like a threat and a small thrill travels up your spine when it becomes obvious he took it as one. Shouta looks positively devastated at the thought of you being harmed in any way, you supposed being upset was harm in a way.

You've had this feeling, and you swear on your soul that it's true, that if you didn't get out now you might never be able to.

"You're haunting me," you insist with one last tear, "and I think it's time to pass on."

You walk straight ahead- straight towards him- and brush past without looking his way. He lets you go, and that's more than you expected from him.

You took step after step with baited breath held in suspension each block. The farther you got the more you were sure; it was your time to be a ghost. You'd disappear, and you'd never have to think of the monster you found in Hosu ever again.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 20

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian's pov*

You are waiting for Hotguy to finally come to see you, drinking very sweetened tea in a room so bland it might as well make a world record, when the door busts open and-

"Coffee guy??!"

Is... Is that what he's called you??? You literally told him you go by Grian... He's the one that dropped the coffee on you in the first place...

"... It's Grian"

"Oh, right, yes! What...uh...what are you doing here"

"I'm waiting for Hotguy"

You take a sip of tea between words...really, what else would you be here for? Entertainment?

"Have you seen him? He's quite late now"

You know full well that he is HotGuy but it's not like 'Grian' has any reason to know that... And It's funnier like this.

"I'm... I'm HotGuy''

"... Nah"

"U-uh??? What do you mean nah!??"

"I don't believe it"

"But I am!"

"Sure you are."

"I am! Look!"

He shows you a badge like thing, you don't really know what It's supposed to be but you play along... You can guess by his expression that he thinks that should be enough to convince you.

"Ohhh, you're really HotGuy?"

"You bet I am!"

Time for phase two of messing with Hotguy: messing with him a little more but in a different way.

"Ohhh! I see, when you trew coffe on me was that like a trick? A distraction? Was thereba villain nearby you needed to confuse? Smart."

He visibly cringes, not really good at having a poker face.

"Not..really"

"Oh, was I a suspect for some crime and our chat was secretly an interrogation?"

"No...that was an accident"

You stare at him fir a few seconds before laughing.

"... Yeah, I could tell"

You can see his expression going from sheepish to confused to betrayed.

"You!"

"Me."

"You tricked me!"

"I did not. Me? Never."

"But you did!"

"Hmm, yeah I did."

"You embarassed me!"

"You were the one to pour coffee on me"

"You bamboozled me! Played me like a fiddle!"

"Nooo no no, a fiddle is an hard instrument to play"

"...?"

"I played you like the cheap plastic kazoo you are"

... His expression is hilarious, he's just open mouthed.

"I can't believe you would say that to the Hot Guy"

"I can't believe you would pour coffee on your only and first sidekick."

"You weren't my sidekick back then!"

"I'm only hearing excuses. Very bad."

"Geez, you're worse then Poultryman!"

You don't know how to take that considering ...well, considering you ARE secretly Poultryman... You decide to take it as a compliment. After all what is better then being yourself?

*Scar's pov*

What comes next is silence... There isn't anything to say so It's slightly... akward now.... Really akward.

Well, there is... One thing.

"I had some questions added to the last part of the interview"

"I know"

Huh? How? You have to know how he figured it out... and why he got them wrong.

"How?"

"The last bunch were really really different from the other ones and if someone else made them then obviously that must have been Hotguy"

That.. makes sense...you think.

"You uh, failed all of those questions"

"Yep"

Ok, what is going on? Why is he smirking like that??? Wait...

"You did it on... purpose? ...why???"

"A good conversation starter for when I met Hotguy"

"That's...no! That's an horrible conversation starter! You could have failed the interview!"

"Well, I didn't fail...and we are conversing now aren't we?"

That...You...He got you there, you'll have to admit defeat this once.

[brbsoulnomming]

Heart On Your Sleeve Part 7

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

written for steddiebigbang2024 and belatedly posting here!

-----

Steve's half asleep on the couch when Dustin arrives the next day, and Robin lets him in.

“Hearts out,” Dustin demands immediately.

Steve winces. “Not a good idea, bud. My ribs are-”

“It's not your ribs,” Dustin interrupts. “You think I didn't see some blood when you were waving your heart around? Don't treat me like a baby, Steve, come on.”

Robin looks at him, and Steve shrugs.

“Okay,” he says, and Robin takes his heart out from her chest.

It looks better than it did yesterday, but it's still pretty pulpy, and Dustin goes pale.

“Steve,” he whispers, voice cracking.

“It's getting better,” Steve promises.

Dustin frowns, looking between him and Robin. “Are you having trouble breathing again? Why is Robin holding it?”

“It heals better when someone else has it,” Steve says. “Some kind of science thing.”

Dustin's frown deepens, then smooths out, and he holds his hands out to Robin. “My turn.”

“Dustin, I'm not going to ask you to-” Steve starts.

“You can't ask, I'm telling you I'm going to,” Dustin retorts. “I'm the first person who carried it, remember?”

Steve looks at Robin. She shrugs, and he can feel that she's not opposed to it, so he shrugs back. She hands his heart over to Dustin. There's some fumbling as Steve gives Robin's heart back to her and takes Dustin's instead, and then -

Huh.

Dustin is just as stubborn as he's always seemed, but underneath that is a quiet fear and a sense of love deeper than anything Steve's ever felt - other than from Robin.

“Come here.”

Steve gives him a hug - or as much of a hug as he can manage - then leans back on the couch again. “Breakfast's in the kitchen,” he says, already closing his eyes.

—

The next time he opens them, it's to the sound of half a dozen gremlins talking in what's probably supposed to be hushed tones.

“How did you all even get in here?” he asks.

They jump, then Dustin juts his chin out.

“I called them,” he says.

“We are here to help,” El says solemnly.

“Dustin told us what happened,” Lucas says.

Steve grimaces. “Look, you guys don't have to-”

“Will it work?” El asks.

Steve blinks at her. “Will what work?”

“If I try to heal your heart. Dustin says he looked it up, and it works best if it's someone you care about. Am I?”

Oh, that's just cheating. How is he supposed to protest with those eyes looking at him.

“Yeah, Ellie, of course you are. It'll work.”

She holds out her hands determinedly. "I don't have my powers. I couldn't save my - my dad, but I can do this. I can help you."

And that's that.

The next thing he knows, they've scheduled up a rotation along with Robin, and taken over his house, setting themselves up to watch TV or play games or do whatever else.

He finds himself alone with El, and he looks at her for a moment before asking, “Do you like cookies?”

Of course she likes cookies.

Steve can't actually do much work, but he can sit at the kitchen table and give directions, and she determinedly follows all of them as she puts together cookie dough.

He can feel the rough edges of her grief and her hopelessness, and he tries to give back as much support as he can.

She isn't alone.

“May I ask you something?” she asks, when a batch of cookies are in the oven and they're eating cookie dough.

“Sure,” he says.

“Dustin is not your brother.”

That's not a question, but he answers it anyway. “Not the way Mike is Nancy's brother or Will is Jonathan's, no.”

She frowns. “I don't understand,” she admits. “Mike says you are brave. That he likes you better now that you're not Nancy's boyfriend. I thought - you are like Mike.”

Oh, he is definitely remembering that for later. “Like Mike how?”

“Mike stepped off of a cliff for Dustin.”

Steve's brain screeches to a halt. “Mike what?”

“There were mouth breathers - bullies. They threatened to hurt Dustin if Mike didn't jump. He did. I caught him,” she's quick to reassure him, like that's what he's stuck on. “So - I thought you are like Mike. You protect your friends.”

“Like you, too,” Steve says, deciding to table the whole Mike thing for now. “You protect your friends.”

She smiles at him, a tiny, fleeting thing before her face scrunches in confusion. “But Max and Dustin and Lucas were not always your friends. Max says you jumped in front of a demodog the day you met her. I don't understand.”

Yeah, Steve's not sure he really understands either - a feeling she must pick up, because she looks even more confused.

“I just - wanted to help.” It sounds even lamer than it did when he said that about cleaning up the graffiti at the theater, but it's what he's got. “Maybe - we don't have to be like anyone, you know? We can just be like us. We can just want to help.”

Her expression smooths out, and he can feel - she kind of likes that.

“What I like,” she says, which is clearly a call back to something else with the way she's feeling, though he has no idea what.

It's okay. He doesn't really have to know what, he thinks - they understand each other.

And they have cookies.

—

He calls Mrs. Byers, just to make sure she knows where Will and El are.

She does, of course, but he also wants to check on her.

Her voice is unsteady and thick with grief, but she tells him not to worry about her, asks how the kids are doing, how he is.

He doesn't want to worry her, either, but he tells her what the kids’ plan is, how hard they're trying to help him.

How guilty he feels about it.

She's gentle when she tells him to let them help, that they care about him and they want to be able to do something good. He promises he will, and that he'll look after them.

He wishes he could do more.

—

Mike's up next, like he wants to get it over with.

Steve wants to tease him about the whole thinking he's brave thing, but when he's hit with everything Mike feels - worry and love and pride and protectiveness and how can I keep them all safe what am I supposed to do, he finds he doesn't want to give him a hard time.

Mike's angry at him, but he's angry at him because he's scared. Because he doesn't want to like him, doesn't want to trust him, but he does.

Mike likes him a whole lot, actually.

And Steve guesses that Mike can feel his own slightly amused fondness, because the kid scowls at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” Steve replies.

He thinks for a while, while Mike sullenly sits at the kitchen table with him and pretends like Steve doesn't know that he actually has feelings.

Eventually, even though he knows it's going to get him scoffed at, he says, “Do you know why teams have co-captains?”

Mike rolls his eyes. “Because they're too stupid to figure out how to play themselves?”

He tamps down on his irritation, though he knows not quickly enough, because Mike looks smug.

“So there's more than one person to make the hard choices. So if one person can't be there, the other can. So no one has to be in two places at once. So one person doesn't have to be everything to everyone,” Steve continues.

Mike scoffs, but Steve can still feel that it resonates with him. “Your stupid sports game is way less important than real life danger.”

“Yeah, sure. But so is your dragons game, and you guys use that all the time.”

He can feel that Mike wants to protest, though he also reluctantly thinks that Steve's right.

“So, what, you think we should pick captains for our Party?” Mike asks.

“Nah. You're already the party leader, right?” Steve asks. He knows that's how Mike sees himself, knows that's the pressure he puts on himself.

Now more than ever.

“But last time and this time, we had to split up, right? And you can't be everywhere.”

“You don't get it,” Mike says. “It's my job to protect them. How am I supposed to do it if I can't look out for everyone?”

“You get some help. Look - that's what I'm here for, all right? Let me help watch out for you guys.”

Mike snorts. “You?”

Steve raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, I think it's worked out so far.”

Mike glances away. Whatever he's thinking of, there's the faint memory of fear and an unbidden, reluctant wash of relief, of safety.

“Fine,” he mutters. “Whatever, you're in the Party.”

Steve doesn't point out that he's already been in it, according to some of them. He has a feeling that's the most he's going to get out of Mike, for now.

It's enough.

—

It's easy, with Max and Lucas.

Probably easier than it should be.

He and Max swap, and he sits with her angry, confused grief. He can feel her daring him to say something, so - he doesn't.

He opens his arms, and he says, “Come here,” and she's exhausted enough that she does.

He hugs her tight while she cries into his chest, angry with herself for crying and angry with Billy for being so terrible and saving her life anyway. Angry with Steve, too, but that one's too complicated for him to figure out with the echoes of the feelings he gets from her.

“I'm here,” he says after a while, even though it makes her cry harder. “I'm right here.”

He sits with Lucas, after, staring at the door where El and Max have retreated to try to get some sleep.

“I don't know how to help her,” Lucas says.

He doesn't sound lost, but his heart beats in Steve's chest, and he can feel it anyway.

“Me either,” Steve admits, because he knows Lucas can feel it from him, too.

“What am I supposed to do?” Lucas asks.

Steve thinks for a moment. “Be there for her. Don't push her, but make sure she knows you're there. That you're not going anywhere.”

Some of the helplessness fades, and Lucas nods.

“Yeah, I can do that.”

They're quiet for a little bit.

“I want to try out for the basketball team,” Lucas says suddenly, then shoots an almost shy little look over at Steve at his pleased surprise.

“That's awesome, man. You want to get some more practice in after a few weeks?” Steve asks.

Lucas nods, then hesitates. “I don't think that Mike and Dustin and Will are going to like it.”

Steve frowns. “They like me okay.”

“Well, yeah, but that's different. We used to think you were a douchebag.”

It startles a laugh out of Steve. “Wow, thanks, Sinclair.”

Lucas shrugs, unapologetic. “We know you aren't now. But they're going to think I'm abandoning them.”

Steve considers. “Are you?”

“No! I'll still play D&D and stuff with them, we'll still be the Party. I want to prove you can do both. I want - I don't want people to mess with them. I want to do what you did.”

Steve swallows, suddenly a little choked up. He wishes he could blame it on his injuries, but he knows damn well Lucas can feel how touched he is.

“You're gonna be great, man,” he says when he has himself more under control. “You're gonna be way better than I ever was.”

—

When Will's up in the little rotation the gremlins have worked out, he lingers a few steps away, hesitant.

"Hey, man, you don't have to," Steve says awkwardly. "I can tell the other gremlins that you're needed at home."

Will looks at him for a moment. "Do I count?"

"What?" Steve asks.

"You didn't hunt a demodog with me, or barricade a bus in a junkyard, or fight off a bully, or go to the Upside Down tunnels, or invade a Russian bunker. You just let me into movies for free and let me hang out at your house with everyone. Is that enough?" Will's tone had been very matter of fact, but it goes a little bit more tenuous there.

"Yeah," Steve says. "Yeah, it is."

Will comes up to the table, holding his hands out expectantly, and Steve drops his heart into them.

It doesn't hurt, but by now, he doesn't expect it to. Steve's not sure he'll ever be able to thank any of the kids for this, but if Joyce is right, if being able to do something helps them after everything they just went through, then he guesses he's glad for that.

The awkwardness lingers a little after they've exchanged hearts. Probably because now they can feel an echo of each other's feelings. It makes Steve scramble for a topic.

"Mike and Lucas apologize to you yet?" Steve asks.

Will looks at him in confusion. "What for?"

"You think I didn't notice they've been kind of shitty? My money's on Mike being more insensitive about it, but Lucas has been right there with him, you know? Ditching Dustin half the time since he's been back, and before that it was always you playing fifth wheel."

Will looks a little surprised. “How'd you even notice that?”

"Because the same thing happened to me," Steve admits.

"I doubt it," Will mutters.

"It did!" Steve insists. "I had two best friends growing up. Then in middle school, they started dating, and suddenly every time we hung out I was the third wheel. It drove me nuts at first."

Will frowns. "Wait, but. You were always dating girls."

"Well, yeah, because I knew I was supposed to. I did a lot of things because it was what I was supposed to do." Steve'd liked all of them well enough, enjoyed dating them - especially once he started having sex and realized how good at it he could be - but he's not going to pretend like there isn't a reason his relationships didn't last very long.

Nancy'd been the only one he could see a forever with.

The kid's brows furrow, like he's not really sure what to do with that information.

"My point is-” Steve points at him with his spoon. “-don't let them rush you, or make you feel like you have to do something you don't want to do just to fit in with them. They're a lot better friends than mine were; they'll understand."

Will considers that. "Jonathan says I should never like something just because people tell me I should. That it's okay that I'm a freak, because he's a freak, too.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks. “What'd you say back?”

Will scrunches his nose. “I asked if that was why he didn't have any friends.”

He shouldn't, but Steve gives a little snort of laughter. Oh, no, Will is funny.

“Your brother has friends,” Steve protests, to counter his laughter. “He's got Nancy and me.”

Will rolls his eyes. “Nancy's his girlfriend.”

“Point in your favor,” Steve admits. “Still leaves me. And Robin will be his friend.”

Will toys with an apple from the fruit basket on the island. “Are you and Jonathan even really friends? It's not like you guys hang out.”

“Ouch, Byers, I thought you were the nice one,” Steve says, giving the kid a fond little smile to show he doesn't mean it. “There's different kinds of friends, I guess. Did, uh. Did Jonathan ever tell you how I got involved with all this?”

“Not really.” Will says with a shrug. “Just that you and him and Nancy fought a demogorgon.”

“That's because your brother's a good guy,” Steve tells him, then nudges the chair across from him.

It only moves a handful of inches, making Steve grimace - he'd wanted to kick it all the way out from under the table, but clearly he's not at full kicking strength. Still, it does the job, and Will takes a seat.

“I saw Nancy and Jonathan together on her bed one night, when she and I had just started dating. She couldn't tell me about the Upside Down stuff yet, but I knew she was lying, and I thought they were seeing each other behind my back.”

Will's looking at him, eyes huge, and it makes guilt twist in his stomach at the thought of what he said to Jonathan that day.

“We got in a fight the next day,” Steve admits. “I was really mean to him. So I went to your house later to apologize, and that's when I stumbled in on him and Nancy setting their trap. I gotta tell you, it was a really rude awakening, getting my apology speech interrupted by a demogorgon.”

“Try getting your bike ride home interrupted by one,” Will says dryly.

For a moment, Steve wonders if he should feel guilty bringing it up and potentially traumatizing the kid, but - Will doesn't look like he wants to be tiptoed around, and he can feel the faint trepidation from the kid's heart beating in his chest. The fear that someone's going to treat you different.

So Steve snorts instead. “Okay, you've got me beat,” he concedes. “You win the gold medal of demogorgon attacks.”

“Thanks.” It's just as dry, but Will's smiling at Steve like he said the right thing, so he'll take it. “Do I get an actual medal?”

Steve gives a surprised little laugh. “You know what? Sure. Come on.”

His pace is slow as he heads upstairs, and out of the corner of his eye, he's pretty sure he sees Will's hands twitch like he's debating trying to help him up. Steve resolutely ignores it until they get to his room, and then he unearths his first place medal from the medley swimming relay in eighth grade.

“Hang on, let me-” Steve digs around for some duct tape and a sharpie, then slaps a strip of tape on the back of the medal, pressing it down to get it to stick well. He writes demogorgan attack on the tape, blows on it to get it to dry, then hands it to Will with all the solemnity as if he was actually presenting him with a first place medal.

“Oh my God,” Will says, looking a little gobsmacked. “You're a nerd. You're one of us!”

“Hey! You spread that around, and I'll take your medal back!” Steve threatens.

“No way,” Will retorts. “Come back when you get dragged into the Upside Down by a demogorgon for dinner.”

“No thanks,” Steve says. “It's all yours.”

Will is beaming at him, and Steve kind of hates to ruin the mood - but he also really has to sit down. The downside to having them all on a rotation of heart exchanges is that he can't hide when it gets really bad.

He sits down on his bed while he can still do it without just dropping down onto the mattress. Will watches him for a moment, then carefully sits on the bed too, a foot or so away from him.

“So - that's why you and Jonathan are friends? You apologized and you fought a monster together?” Will asks.

“Yeah, I guess so. Look, there's different kinds of friends, right? There's the friends you have because you share a class together, or the ones you play the same sport - or, uh, hobby with, or the ones you just hang out with sometimes. And then there's the good ones, the ones who know you. Jonathan and I might not hang out outside of school, but I know he's got my back, and I've got his. Any time he needed me, I'd be right there.”

His feelings about Jonathan are - complicated, but that's the truth. Whatever else, Steve cares about the guy a hell of a lot, trusts him like he trusts very few others.

Steve's not sure what Will can pick up from him, but it must be enough to convince him that Steve's sincere, because he just quietly says, “Oh.”

“That goes for you, too,” Steve tells him. “Okay? You need me, I'm there.”

Will's cheeks go just a little pink, and there's a faint flutter of some kind in his heart, but Steve can't really tell what it is. “Okay.”

They're quiet for a moment, but it's not really awkward anymore - or at least, not beyond Steve trying to figure out how long before he's going to be able to get himself back downstairs without leaning on anyone.

“Did you date Nancy because you were supposed to?” Will asks after a while.

“Nancy's different,” Steve replies automatically, hearing an echo of himself saying the same thing to Dustin the day they were looking for Dart, and knowing it's just as true now as it was then, even if he's over her now - or as over her as he thinks he'll ever be.

Will mulls that over. “So - I might find a girl one day that's different, even if I've never liked girls before?”

There's something about the way that Will says it that sends him back into the Starcourt bathroom with Robin, watching her stare at him as he said but Tammy Thompson's a girl, waiting for it to click into place for him, and -

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, he thinks he's accidentally implied something he didn't really mean to imply here. He thinks about trying to stutter out a clarification, that when Steve said he did it because he was supposed to, he didn't mean that he didn't like girls - he loves girls, girls are fantastic -

But.

But there's Eddie.

Will's voice had been so small, and whatever he can feel from Steve's heart in his chest is making his eyes go wide and scared, and it -

“Maybe,” Steve finds himself saying before he really knows what he's talking about. “But maybe not. And that's - that's okay. Whoever you like, or don't like, whoever you want to date or not date, it's okay.”

Steve pauses, feels like that isn't enough, and scrunches his face up. “Unless they're like, objectively terrible. If you get a crush on some little asshole, I can and will make fun of you.”

There's a ghost of a smile there. “Like Dustin and Suzie?” he asks.

“Way worse than Dustin and Suzie,” Steve says. “I had to be nice about Suzie, because everyone thought Dustin was making her up. I'm talking no holds barred here.”

—

"Do you think that guy's dead?"

Steve doesn't have to ask what guy Dustin means. He grimaces a little, because even if he wanted to, there's no way he can lie with their hearts in each other's chests. "We blew up their lab, man, I think most of them are dead."

Dustin frowns, looking like he's not sure if he thinks that's a good enough answer.

"I guess," he says finally. Then, so quietly Steve can barely hear it, Dustin asks, "Am I a bad person?"

"What?" Steve asks, thrown. "You've saved the world how many times now?"

Dustin gives him a look. "The same amount of times that you have."

Steve bumps Dustin's shoulder with the back of his knuckles. "Saved Nancy and Jonathan, maybe, but not sure how much world saving I did the first time. You got one up on me."

Dustin rolls his eyes. "Basically the same."

"All right, all right," Steve says. "We've saved the world a few times. Bad people don't usually do that."

Dustin fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "Billy did. Kind of. He helped, at the end. Does that make him a good person?"

Shit, Steve is way too concussed for this.

"No," he says after a little while. "I don't think so. Maybe if he had more time, but I don't think one good thing that he did while he was already dying makes up for all the other bad things he did."

Dustin screws up his face in concentration, then nods. "Me too."

Steve'd really like to just end the conversation there, but he's pretty sure Dustin needs him to keep going, and, well.

He's always going to be there when Dustin needs him.

"What makes you think you're a bad person?" he asks.

Dustin stares at his hands for a little while. "I don't feel bad."

Steve tries to make sense of that for a moment, then gives up. "You lost me."

"I killed that guy," Dustin says, looking back up at him almost defiantly. "And I don't feel bad. I'm not sorry he's dead."

Guilt stabs through him so strongly that he knows Dustin must feel some of it, and he grimaces a little when Dustin frowns at him.

"What was that?" Dustin asks.

"I'm sorry that you had to do that," Steve says. "It's not fair."

Dustin scoffs. "None of this is fair."

All right, yeah, Dustin's got a point. Okay, new tactic.

"Look at me, Dust," Steve says softly.

Dustin pulls a face. "I am looking at you."

"Ugh, no, I mean look at me." Steve waves a hand at himself.

"You look like shit," Dustin tells him.

"Exactly," Steve agrees. "You know why I look like shit?"

There's an echo of something remarkably similar to the guilt Steve just felt.

"Because of me," Dustin says, voice small.

Shit.

"What? No! How is this your fault?" Steve asks.

"I pushed the Russian message thing. You only looked into it because I wanted to," Dustin says.

"That's not - I looked into it for the same reason I helped you look for Dart, okay? Because I'm in this, and we're in this together, and if there's something out there, it's going to find us. That's not your fault."

Dustin doesn't look convinced.

"There is nothing that's going to keep me away from being in this with you, okay? Even if you didn't push me. Even if you didn't even tell me. I'd find out, and then I'd be mad." He pauses. "Like, really mad. Like telling your mom you ditched me and got in trouble so she doesn't let you leave the house for a year mad."

"Okay, okay," Dustin says, but he looks happier. "So what was your point, then?"

His point?

Right, his point.

"I look like shit because of the dead guy and his buddies." Part of Steve thinks he should hedge around this, try to sugarcoat it a little, but - treating Dustin like he's a kid who can't handle this isn't going to do anything. "You saw my heart, Dustin. You think the guys who did that were just going to let me walk out of there?"

Dustin looks at him, eyes big. "No," he admits quietly.

"The only reason I'm still standing here is because of you. I mean it, man - I'd be dead without you. And it sucks that you had to do that, and I wish I could have been faster or better, saved you from being the one that had to, but I'm not sorry that he's dead, either. Maybe that makes me a bad person. Maybe I'm a bad person because I would do the same thing, because I'd have killed all of them to protect you and I wouldn't feel bad at all."

Dustin's lip quivers a little. "You're not a bad person, Steve."

"Neither are you," Steve tells him.

The kid's eyes look suspiciously wet. Steve shifts, straightening up a little and lifting his arms.

"Come here."

Dustin drops down onto the couch, squished into his side. Steve drapes his arm over his shoulder, gingerly hugging him, and pretending that he can't hear Dustin's quiet sniffles or feel the shake of his shoulders.

"You're like the best person I know," Steve says softly.

"You too," Dustin replies, voice a little wet. "You're gonna be okay, right?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna be fine."

His heart might not ever be the same, but with all of them trying so hard to keep it together and help it heal - it makes him feel pathetic, but he kind of thinks he might be even better.

It seems a good enough response for Dustin, who stays tucked in against his side, eyes slipping shut like he's going to fall asleep right there.

Steve wants to bitch about it, but he also doesn't want to move, so he just lets it happen.

"I used to be so jealous of Mike and Will," Dustin mutters sleepily after a while.

"Yeah?" Steve asks absently.

"All this sucks, and they had Nancy and Jonathan," Dustin says.

"Mmm," Steve agrees, feeling pretty close to sleep himself.

"I'm not anymore though."

"No?" Steve asks.

"Nah," Dustin mumbles. "You're way better than Nancy and Jonathan."

This is already written, and my plan is to post one part a day until it's all up here!

----

Part 8

Taglist (always happy to add more to this if anyone wants): @fairytalesreality @lostonceandneverfound @wheneverfeasible @awkwardgravity1 @theintrovertedintrovert @thewickedkat @ravenfrog @scarlet-malfoy @missmagillicuddy @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @ollyxar @cringe-culture-is-dead-99 @thedragonsaunt @makewavesandwar @cryptid-system @ajeff855 @mae-liz @the-fantastical-asexual @jettestar @warlordess @persnicketysquares @samsoble @my-love-of-books @mydysfunctionallife @dreamercec @holyangelstudentuniverse @breealtair @shunna @xtraordinarally @thatdamnfan @justalittledrainbamage @strangerfolks @disrespectedgoatman @amber-ambience @anxietyfulloption @thepossummoldypasta

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of November. We hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) I Don't Know Why You're Being Shy | Explicit | 1,900 words

Harry and Louis have a kid-free weekend and Harry confesses how turned on he gets by Louis' scent

2) Countdown | Mature | 2,057 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Tommy Shelby.  

Tommy Shelby, pack alpha of the Peaky Blinders, has taken notice of The Garrison Pub’s new barmaid, an omega named Louis.

3) When The Going Gets Tough | Explicit | 2,486 words

Harry is going into unexpectedly early rut and right then, his new boyfriend Louis decides to be a dick and make him jealous.

4) The Things Nobody Talks About  | Explicit | 4,883 words

Twenty eight year old Louis Tomlinson walks past his stepsons room only to see the boy asleep spread out naked in bed with only a pillow covering his manhood and his arm over his face. His sheets are disheveled and it looks like he had a good time before passing out, but the reality is probably less exciting. England has been having a terribly hot summer and they don’t have air con. Louis stands at the door and looks in at the boy as he lays there. He has tattoos littering his fit wide chest and down his beautiful body and his long legs are spread out on the bed. He looks very inviting, Louis is sure he wouldn’t appreciate waking up to his overly horny stepfather ravishing him. Louis was married to Harry’s adoptive dad who passed away last year. Louis and Harry decided to continue living together even without his dad being around because they got on really well and have always been close. Louis and his late husband married when Harry was just nine years old so Louis became kind of another dad to him. Now Harry is an eighteen year old uni student who is home for summer break. Louis is still single and doesn’t get out much after becoming widower.

5) I Fall To Pieces When I'm With You (Cherry Kisses) | Explicit | 4,924 words

Where Louis lives in the country side of London and has a sort of long distance relationship with Italian Harry.

6) Do You Think We'll Be In Love (Forever)? | Mature | 4,983 words

Louis is the babysitter for Harry's children. The alpha invites him to spend the weekend with them at the summer house and there they put an end to the desires and fantasies of the two.

7) Eyes Full Of Stars, Heart Full Of Sins | Mature | 5,453 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

As their soul-tying ceremony approaches, Louis reminisces about his relationship with Harry, how they fell in love amidst the war, and how an uncertain foundation still led them to undeniable love.

8) Raise You Up, Pin You Down | Explicit | 5,679 words

Louis felt a bit distracted by the movement of the alphas lips, wet and pink. He gulped. “You can’t just pick up a stranger like that!” His green eyes flashed mischievously. “When I see a poor little helpless omega like you, I have to help. It’s in my nature.”  Signs of another smug look tugged at his lips. When Louis can't, for the life of him, reach the bar to get his drink, he's surprised with a little help from a handsome and cocky stranger.

9) Just Keep Holding Onto Me (And I’ll Hold You) | Explicit | 7,058 words

Harry, Louis, Zayn and Niall reminiscing and grieving together after Liams funeral.

10) I Used To Call You My Best Friend Way Back Before You Were My Everything | Explicit | 6,670 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

“Okay, this is going to sound insane, but I really can’t stop thinking about you.” Louis’ eyes widened and his heart skipped. “How do you mean?” he whispered. “I mean. I kind of, like, want you. And like. I don’t know if I can have you.” “Oh, yes you absolutely can,” Louis gained confidence at Harry’s sudden lack thereof. “What? I was supposed to look after you, and now, not only have I gone and put myself in a position to not be there for you, but I also just. Want you. What would everyone think?” “Harry, I—I want you, too. Who cares what anyone thinks? Do you mean my parents? They’ll live, considering they love you more than they love their own sons sometimes.”

11) Wild Love | Mature | 7,206 words

Louis don’t know how he ended up like that, he was just taking photos to post online, and now he has an feral alpha on top of him, scenting all his determination out, suddenly there seems cozy and a good place to be.

12) I Dig Your Cinema | Explicit | 7,331 words

Harry Styles is a famous actor in town. Louis Tomlinson doesn't care about him at all. Well, at least that's what Louis thinks. But when Harry's on his knees in front of Louis in the bathroom of a night club, he begins to draw different conclusions.

13) Free Falling | Explicit | 7,710 words

Harry came to London for a visit after meeting Louis at Superbloom, but he never really left. Now, sharing a life and a bed with Louis, he’s fallen deeply in love - but he doesn’t know if Louis feels the same. Navigating daily laughter and longing, Harry faces the uncertainty of their undefined bond. Is he truly part of Louis’ world, or just a passing chapter? As doubts build, he wonders: will their fragile connection deepen into something real, or will it slip away before it ever truly begins?

14) Always Yours | Explicit | 8,018 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Jealous and Possessive Harry when someone new arrives in their group and has a crush on Louis.

15) On a Night Like Tonight | Mature | 8,635 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Pop star meets star football player, aka Taylor Swift/Travis Kelce AU.

16) Airplanes & Apple Pies | Not Rated | 8,987 words

Harry & Louis are strangers flying home for Thanksgiving. They bond as the only passengers in business class - things may or may not get a little heated...

17) Cross My Heart And Hope You Die | Explicit | 9,347 words

Something about this man is getting under Harry’s skin in a record time. “Aren’t you going to introduce yourself?” he questions after a moment of silence. Tomlinson exhales a cloud of smoke, smirks and then shrugs. “I know who you are. You know who I am. What’s the point?”

18) Home | Mature | 9,988 words

Louis has a crush on Harry, and Harry has a crush on Louis and they obviously don't know about each other.

19) Lights Go Down | Explicit | 10,449 words

Note: The main pairing is Louis/Zayn Malik.

Louis is in need of the perfect dom, and the best dom in the club has just parted ways with his regular sub. Can Louis be the sub Zayn wants?

20) A Flicker Of Hope That I Wanna Keep (Please Don’t Leave) | Mature | 12,230 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry is in love with Louis, and he had thought Louis felt the same until he accidentally left his journal in Harry’s home. He knows he shouldn’t have read it, especially when it only proved to be a reality check he didn’t want. Once Harry finds the green-eyed, curly-haired, gangly fucker that’s stolen Louis’ heart, he’d like to have a strong word with him.

21) Our Sacred Place | Explicit | 15,842 words

Harry knows that, if he wants to keep something from his husband, he has to do it carefully, considering Louis' curious nature. Mia, their daughter, feels capable of helping her dad in this mision so that everything devolps successfully.

22) We’re Leading Each Other Out Of The Dark | Not Rated | 16,187 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry leaves and never looks back, only for him to eventually come home to find Louis and a little girl that looks exactly like him.

23) Meet Me At The Rat Hole | Explicit | 16,934 words

Harry's voice drifts into a nervous ramble. “I mean, I know it’s not my place, but he deserves someone who’s gonna make him laugh, not just… not just be there, and—” Shane holds up a hand, cutting him off, his face twisting into a sneer. “Oh, I get it now. You want to fuck him.” Harry and Louis are best friends. Harry is in love with Louis. But Louis has a boyfriend named Shane. He suuuuuuucks. Harry and Louis want to go see the Rat Hole. but again, Shane sucks. Let's see what happens.

24) After Hours | Mature | 17,605 words

"I want you to take me all night when you get back," Louis whispered against Harry's lips. "You think you can handle me all night?" Harry teased. "You know i can." Louis replied confidently, a smirk curling at the corner of his lips.

25) Wolves, I Hear Them Calling For You | Mature | 18,392 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry was in love with Louis, but the omega definitely didn't see him that way. Or maybe he did.

26) Raspberry Juice | Explicit | 18,657 words

1. Louis will take the farthest bedroom down the hall. 2.Louis’ room is off limits. 3.No going through Louis’ things 4.Will share food, just ask first. 5.Louis will take two showers. One in the morning and again at night. So, don’t hog the bathroom at either time. 6.Only one guest permitted at once. 7.No parties. Ever. 8.Keep listening/viewing entertainment at low volume. 9.If you're gonna pop your knot, I don’t need to hear the experience while it’s happening. 10.Be out of the apartment every third Thursday-Sunday of the month so I can help my omega with their heat. This list was perfectly fine when Harry first moved in. But Harry's somehow grown attached to the scent of his roommate's omega...even if he's never seen them. He's desperate to catch a glimpse of the couple, to force his wolf to understand the omega is taken. He has no idea it will end in him getting a taste of his own.

27) Limelight | Mature | 20,056 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

During his first semester at Boston University circa 1989, a shy, socially awkward Harry meets a kind, outspoken Louis. In an attempt to show Louis how he feels, he creates a mixtape of songs. But Harry’s deep anxieties cloud him, and he can’t seem to understand whether or not Louis even wants him around, let alone likes him back.

28) In The Spotlight, In His Arms | Not Rated | 20,115 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Popstar Harry Styles and uni student Louis. Harry accidentally goes live on Instagram and his phone captures Louis sleeping peacefully. That’s how he introduces Louis as his boyfriend to the world. The world falls in love with Louis Tomlinson but will everyone really? Slight angst, insecure Louis, but lots of fluff and Louis is so easy to fall in love with.

29) Waiting For The Winds To Change | Explicit | 21,366 words

After leaving his husband, Harry retreats to a remote beach house owned by a friend to escape the tangled mess his life has become. Looking for nothing but a few weeks of peace and tranquility by the water, Harry plans to get his thoughts in order as he prepares to start his life over again. When a stranger arrives, seeking refuge from an approaching storm, Harry is thrust into a whirlwind romance full of self discovery, some hard truths and more than just a few realisations. As the waves come crashing in, their little bubble bursts and when Louis’ own secrets are revealed, Harry must decide if he’s ready to jump head first into something that could inevitably leave him heartbroken and right back where he started.

30) Near Enough, Not Enough | Explicit | 23,781 words

Louis, the rebellious adopted son of a powerful family, relentlessly challenges the authority of his enigmatic father, Harry. And he begins to question if his struggle is against the constraints imposed on him- or against the complex, forbidden feelings that he cannot deny.

31) One Last Time | Explicit | 24,295 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Louis is a werewolf, and Harry is a vampire. They’re supposed to hate each other, but they’re too busy fucking to care.

32) My Everything | Explicit | 31,061 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

They got to the building and right before the door of the elevator opened to the lobby, Harry grabbed Louis’ hand and brought him to his chest. “See you later, my love?” he brought Louis to him for a soft kiss. Louis smiled, blue eyes studying Harry’s face closely before he moved his tie back, patting his chest tenderly. “Go save the world, Agent.” Harry chuckled and pecked his lips again. “You’re ridiculous.” Louis scrunched his nose happily, “See you at lunch?” “Always.” He pecked his lips again before the door of the elevator opened to their new day.

33) No Bananas In The Library | Not Rated | 36,436 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Sometimes it all starts with a dare, sometimes the dare comes later, and sometimes the dare is actually the push someone needs to be brave enough to talk to someone. Louis wouldn’t say Harry is his enemy but that loud frat boy can be incredibly annoying, always disturbing Louis when he tries to study, and Louis has certainly told him so. And he’s always eating his disgusting bananas. However, one day Harry approaches him to say that he wants to get to know Louis.

34) In Dreams You're Mine | Explicit | 37,530 words

Harry age 10, and Louis age 12, meet on a seaside holiday and become the best of friends. Their visit to a fortune teller sets off a series of events that changes their lives and dreams forever.

35) I Want You To Need Me | Explicit | 37,609 words

For Harry, finding his soulmate had always been his life goal. For Louis, soulmarks don't matter as long as he loves the person he’s with. And he truly loves Harry. Fate brought them together, on Harry’s 18th birthday, and they couldn’t stay away from each other, even if they tried. Louis is sure their marks will match, their love is that strong. But how will it affect Louis when Harry’s mark doesn’t match his and Harry decides to go find his one true love?

36) Wherever You Are (That's Where I'll Be) | Mature | 50,151 words

Harry took a deep breath, his fingers tightening into a fist. “I... I haven’t been sleeping well. Actually, I haven’t been sleeping much at all,” he admitted, his voice hoarse. “It’s been getting worse for weeks now. I think it started with nightmares, but now... it’s something else.” Dr. Sinclair leaned forward slightly, his eyes focused on Harry. “Something else?” “Voices,” Harry whispered, almost as if he was afraid saying it aloud would make them worse. “I’ve been hearing voices, even when I’m awake.”

37) From Underneath Your Glow | Explicit | 53,524 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

With years of bitter experience and a tuition debt that would outlast three generations, Louis did what anyone in his position would; he developed an almost flawless five-step system for scamming alphas.

38) Forever Yours | Mature | 54,130 words

Harry and Louis are very much in love and expecting their first baby together. Everything is perfect until it's not anymore and hearts get shattered, promises broken... Five years later, Harry comes back after realizing the life he left behind was the one he should have chosen all along. Is it too late or can he get his family back?

39) Total Distraction | Explicit | 57,805 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Love On Tour just finished and Harry finds himself being shipped off to Mykonos for three weeks alone. He expects to spend them bored and lonely until Louis comes sashaying down the beach and changes his life forever... or at least for the next three weeks.

40) Midnight Doesn’t Last Forever | Explicit | 63,658 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

When Harry learns that his beloved grandfather has passed away, he also discovers that he's inherited the lake house that he so fondly remembers from childhood. However, it comes with a stipulation - he must be legally married before he can take possession of it. Enter his best friend, Louis, who is an accident-prone freelancer who has a desperate need for health insurance. All seems to be going well with the plan until Louis finds himself in an unfortunate accident that robs him of his memories of Harry and their marriage of convenience.

41) As The Summer Fades Away | Explicit | 66,491 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

Harry and Louis were not supposed to be. And that was a fact Louis had been very aware of for the past decade. It was just the way the universe was. And Louis knew there was no bending and pushing that would change the facts. Harry was his neighbor and his father’s best friend. A constant in Louis’s life for years. Sturdy and unmoving, with an ever present frown pulling on his mouth. Unattainable. When Louis landed back in Texas after graduating college, he learned that sometimes the universe could bend a little at his will.

42) I Love It Better If I Repeat It Many Times; Firefly, Firefly, Firefly  | Not Rated | 65,661 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

“Louis, don't marry him.” he gasped loudly as the alpha cornered him at the engagement party. Louis watched behind Harry to make sure that no one was paying attention to them. “Please don't.” he begged, Louis' blood was boiling, he roughly pulled away from the curly’s firm grip. He couldn't believe his audacity. “What's wrong with you? You just asked Naomi for her hand, you asshole!” He yelled through clenched teeth, still looking behind his back. Harry shook his head for a few seconds, holding his hair that was ruined in a flash. “I can't believe it. You’re-” “I know you don't love him. I saw it in your eyes, Lou. Please.” The brunette omega fell silent, opening his mouth in astonishment, the ring he'd received from Rowan identical to Naomi's weighed heavier against the accusation that fell from the alpha on him. Harry took a step closer, they were practically already close from a start, right now, their chests were brushing. He watched his pleading gaze, his large, warm hands clinging to his arms, Louis felt his mark burning. “Harry-” “If you ask me, I won't get married. If you ask me, I’ll give up on all of this.” His heart along with his knees went weak.

43) I Know Your Love’s Not Real | Mature | 67,890 words

Note: This fic was written for the Bottom Louis Fic Fest. Check out the full collection here.

With a simple bet that could’ve given him his ticket out of this town, Louis finds that taking the virginity of the nerdy alpha came with lots of difficulties and consequences. One being his lack of patience, the other being a broken heart.

44) Bring Me To Life | Explicit | 143,572 words

Louis no longer wants to live and his plan to leave the world behind was almost a success. Almost. That is, until Harry, a vampire, saves Louis' life and grants him immortality with his bite. However, Louis is far from grateful when he wakes up to his new reality. Harry had envisioned the creation of his first offspring very differently and now has to deal with a suicidal young vampire who hates him and constantly tries to end his own existence. As they navigate their tumultuous relationship, they begin to uncover secrets about Louis' family that could change everything they thought they knew.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.

[kouudi]

ᡣ𐭩 every path leads back to you — isagi yoichi

warnings: reader has an ex fiancé (not isagi), reader has commitment issues, description heavy, mentions of drinking, kind of proof read but not really, reader feels very guilty

a/n: i'm sorry this took so long ;-; life has been crazy and my job's been requiring me to come in more. turns out i work on christmas eve and day so that's fun i guess? happy late thanksgiving i'm thankful for all of you + my moots :D not sure when i'll be able to post again but i'll try to keep y'all updated and not disappear. also yes this was teased as a reo fic but ignore that...

The air in your apartment smelled like stale beer. The low hum of the refrigerator filled the silence in the background, only broken by the occasional wail of a distant siren outside. You’re perched at the edge of the couch, staring at the scattered beer cans on the floor as if they hold the answer to a question the universe is too afraid to ask.

You’re not even sure how the night started. Bachira called you, telling you that the team was home for a break. You rejected his invitation to go out for drinks, preferring instead to settle in at home with your own packs of beer.

Maybe Isagi called you, or maybe you texted him first—something vague after a few drinks, an invitation he somehow read between the lines. Now, hours later, he’s sitting in front of your couch, back against the edge, a comfortable distance away from you.

You think it should feel strange, having him here like this, so casually. Isagi Yoichi, with his perfect life and effortless charm, is a far cry from the mess you’ve become over the years of your friendship with him. Despite the differences, you feel a strange sense of comfort in his presence, as if for tonight, your loneliness isn’t yours to bear alone.

He’s quiet now, watching you with an expression that’s hard for you to read, his sharp eyes flickering all over your apartment as if they can’t settle on one thing for long. You take a swig from your beer, the bitterness burning your throat, and glance at him. You feel exposed, as if he’s peeling back the layers of whatever shield you’ve managed to build.

It’s that specific look that pulls the words from your tongue before you even realize it.

“Did you know I was supposed to get married last year?” The bitterness and disbelief are laced in your voice.

Isagi arches a brow at your sudden confession, his expression unreadable. The clutter of empty beer cans scattered around the floor brings up the thought of why he chose to end the night at your place, instead of suggesting his own for a late-night drinking session.

His gaze lingers on you, sharp and searching. “No, I didn’t. You’ve never mentioned it,” he says finally, his tone careful and neutral. You wonder if he’s doing it on purpose. “Are you joking?” he asks, his voice calm and even, his expression still unreadable. You force out a dry laugh.

“Yeah, well. There’s a lot I don’t mention,” you snort, lifting the beer can to your mouth. The bitterness in your tone stings your own ears. That wasn’t something you meant to blurt out. The weight of your guilt feels heavier than usual tonight, with Isagi here. His presence brings forth that strange sense of comfort, though it’s almost aggravating to you.

“Why bring it up now?” he asks, leaning back against the couch, still keeping his eyes focused on you. His voice is calm, but there’s a flicker of something beneath the surface—curiosity, or maybe even concern.

You shrug and stare down at the flat liquid in your can. “It’s been on my mind,” you mutter, though it’s only half the truth. It’s not just the memory of what could’ve been. It’s him—sitting here, looking too calm, too collected, as if your mess is just another puzzle for him to figure out.

You take another sip of your beer, the bitter taste doing little to ground you. Isagi’s gaze doesn’t waver, and you can feel the unspoken questions hanging in the air between you. Still, he doesn’t push, but his presence alone is almost like a small nudge, daring you to open up, to say more, to peel back a layer of your life that you’ve hidden from him for so long.

For a moment, you consider brushing it off with a dumb joke or changing the subject completely. But the quiet intensity in his eyes makes it impossible. Instead, you let the silence stretch, the weight of it pressing down until the emotions start to seep in—uninvited and vivid.

The memory floods back to you—the rush of slipping out the back of the reception hall, still in your wedding dress, makeup half-done and beginning to smudge. You remember the moment of freedom amidst the chaos, but the weight of the man you left behind quickly pulls you back.

“I left him at the altar,” you quietly confess, the words heavy on your tongue. The thought of your fiancé waiting for you at the end of the aisle, surrounded by friends and family, lingers in your mind like a shadow.

You never thought you’d be the type of person to run from their own wedding. You and your ex-fiancé had spent the year preparing to make that day meticulously perfect—the music, flowers, decorations, and even the vows that you spent countless sleepless nights perfecting. From everyone else’s perspective, the day was out of a fairytale. But to you, you didn’t belong in that story.

Your ex-fiancé was everything people thought you should want: a kind and successful man. You admit that it was everything you did want at the time. He was a respectable man. But, over time, the relationship became a suffocating routine, rather than one built on genuine love.

Every day that passed, and the wedding date drew closer, you felt more trapped. “It’s just cold feet,” you’d tell yourself over and over again. “Everyone feels this way before committing to forever.”

You remember the morning of your wedding, staring at your own reflection in the mirror, veil perched upon your head, feeling like an imposter. You remember the feeling inside you suddenly snap. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t marry this man. You couldn’t spend the rest of your life pretending to be someone you weren’t.

You can’t fake a thought—that was something you realized the day you met the man sitting beside you. In the last few months of your previous relationship, you started to notice things. It took you longer than usual to answer your phone, you never genuinely smiled anymore, and you only did activities that he suggested because you’d convinced yourself you didn’t know what you wanted to do. No matter how much you pretended not to notice the change in yourself, you did. You noticed it all.

It wasn’t until you and Isagi began crossing the lines between friendship and something deeper a few months ago that you realized what you had been missing. Isagi had a way of filling the empty spaces in your life—spaces you hadn’t even known existed. His presence was effortless yet inescapably consuming. And yet, as much as you knew you should surrender, a small voice kept reminding you of everything you had left behind: the stability, the comfort, the certainty. Isagi was none of those things, and perhaps that’s what drew you to him the most.

He was a force of nature, always moving, always shifting, while you were stuck in place, bound to the limit of the city you were in, caught between the pull of your past and the push toward something unfamiliar. You did try to fight it at first—tried to keep a distance, to protect whatever small sense of self that you still desperately clung to. But every time he smiled, every time he spoke, it was as if your world had narrowed to only show him. And that was terrifying.

You were stuck between staying with what you knew about yourself at age twenty-four or venturing out into the world. You didn’t want to stay stagnant, frozen in a life you felt was no longer yours. But with Isagi, there was no promise of tomorrow. There was no guarantee that things would stay the same. And maybe that was the most frightening thing. You could fall, and he wouldn’t catch you. Or maybe he would, but only for a little while.

A hand on your shoulder pulled you from your thoughts. Isagi’s expression had shifted, his usual calm replaced by something softer, tinged with sadness. His eyes met yours, but there was a distant heaviness in them, as if he were carrying a weight you couldn’t see. You weren’t sure when he got up to sit beside you.

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The silence stretched between you, thick and uncomfortable. You could feel the shift in the air, like something unspoken had settled there, pressing down on the two of you.

Isagi opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but he hesitated. His brow furrowed slightly, and he seemed to be grappling with his words, as though he knew what he wanted to say wasn’t going to come out right. When he spoke, his voice was quieter than before, softer than his usual tone of confidence.

“I knew you were getting married. Bachira told me,” he confessed, his eyes flickering down for a moment before meeting yours again. “I didn’t want to make things... harder for you, so I pretended not to know.”

There it was—the guilt in his voice. You’d expected it, but hearing it now hit you harder than you thought it would. Isagi, who always seemed so composed, so untouchable, was suddenly vulnerable in a way you weren’t sure how to handle.

“I knew you would’ve told me if you wanted me to know.”

You swallowed, unsure of what to say, the weight of his words settling in. You weren’t prepared for this—this side of him. But before you could second-guess yourself, the words came out anyway. “I didn’t want you to know,” you said, your voice quieter now. His eyes softened, and you could see the faint shadow of regret in them. “You were always so busy, always out of the country… I just wanted to move on.” You paused, feeling the heaviness of it all. “We’ve been in this strange place for months now, but honestly, I’ve been here even longer.”

Isagi’s gaze intensified, a flicker of concern crossing his face. “What are you trying to say?”

You turned your head away, suddenly embarrassed to meet his eyes. “Isagi,” you whispered, the confession slipping out before you could stop it, “I’ve liked you for a long time now.”

The silence that followed was thick and suffocating, the kind that made you want to sink into the couch and disappear. You felt exposed, as though everything that protected you had been stripped away. But Isagi didn’t say anything, not at first. His eyes never left yours, and his silence—rather than pushing you away—seemed to be drawing you in further.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he exhaled slowly, his breath shaky. “I don’t know what to say to that,” he admitted, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “You’ve always been so distant. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”

The words hit you in your gut. Isagi, a man who always seemed composed and confident, had been uncertain the entire time? The realization made you feel both relieved and guilty—you had been blind to everything for longer than you thought.

“I didn’t mean to push you away,” you said quietly, your throat tightening. “I thought that if I just kept going, kept pretending, it would get easier. But it never did.” You paused, your heart racing. “And now… I don’t know how to fix it.”

Isagi’s expression softened again, the sharp edges of his usual demeanor fading into something gentler. He leaned forward, his voice steady but full of something deeper. “You don’t have to fix it. You just have to tell me what you want. I’m right here. I’ve always been here, but you’ve got to let me in, too.”

His hand finds its way to your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your lips. “We can be a team, but only if you’re comfortable being one together.”

You lean into his touch, as if it were muscle memory. The warmth of his hand on your skin, his thumb pressing gently on your lips—everything about this moment feels like something you should’ve known before, something that was always there, just out of reach. For a split second, you let yourself believe that it’s real, that it’s something you deserve.

But then, as quickly as you let yourself forget, the weight of everything you’ve kept buried presses down on your heart again. The guilt. The confusion. The silence between you, stretched thin over the last few months as you both tread the line between friendship and something more. You pull back slightly, enough to break the contact between you, but not enough to distance yourself completely. You feel colder without the warmth of his hand on your face.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you say, the words escaping before you can stop them. You feel the uncertainty creeping back in.

Isagi doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t let the space between you grow too wide. His eyes are softer now, though you can still see the same intensity in them. He studies your face for a moment, but it feels like he’s seeing past you, into the deeper parts of you, weighing your words carefully. Then, in a voice as low as a whisper:

“No rush. We take things slow, one step at a time.”

The way he says it—the calm certainty—makes your heart race. It’s as if he’s offering a lifeline out of the mess you’ve made of your life. And for the first time in a long time, you start to believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different.

You meet his gaze, your breath catching in your chest. “Are you sure?” you ask, the vulnerability in your voice tightening your throat.

Isagi doesn’t hesitate. “I’m sure.”

And for the first time, you believe him.

written by koudi

tags: @sarahforever

[loonyloopylupin96]

Prompt: Advent | @moonwater-microfic | Words: 419

The October full moon had been particularly rough for Remus that year, but as he settles down in the library, just beside the door to the restricted section, he begins to feel like a normal student again. A normal student with a lot of work to catch up on.

After an hour, he's on a roll and his study is going well. Although he'd benefit from a bit of extra time he's loathe to request an extension - it wouldn't be fair to the others - so he continues on feeling quite focused in his own little world.

That is, until he senses someone approach.

"Are you an apparition? Or have you actually come back to school?"

He looks up to see Regulus approaching. There's a look on his face that gives Remus pause. It's some sort of twisted amalgamation of relief and… anger?

"I'm here-"

"Because I'm hoping you're an apparition. The real you would surely have sent me a letter or something to say you were okay, and not just hidden away in the fucking library when you got back."

Closing the book with a gentle sigh, he savours the silent seconds available to him as he sets it aside.

"I was going to come and find you once I'd made some progress on catching up, you know how it is-"

"No, I can't say I do," he argues. "You vanish suddenly, say nothing, and come back looking like you're at death's door. You don't tell me a god-damned thing. What am I supposed to think?"

The question hangs in the air between them.

"Right," Regulus continues, bitterly, "Forget it. I-"

"I'm sorry," Remus says at last, though he's speaking in such a low voice it's a wonder the other hears him at all. "I know you've been worried about me, and I know it's hard not knowing, but… I'm okay."

"Does that mean you're not going to be going off sick again?"

The silence answers on his behalf.

Regulus exhales, but as he stares furiously ahead of him, between the long row of shelves, he shuffles his hand over so his smallest finger can brush against Remus'.

"I had your return on my calendar, you know," he says, voice softening. "The advent of Lupin. Well, I just marked it as 'advent', the others think I'm senile."

It's only a matter of time before Regulus realises the truth, but he parks that thought aside - that's a worry for another time.

"I'm sure I'm not that important," Remus replies, breaking into a smile.  From the corner of his eye, he can see Regulus squashing a smile of his own.

"You are. To me."