#And I just can't write as well in that state
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So this was on the @writing-prompt-s site- so I'm treating it as a writing prompt. (I can't fucking draw right now due to a busted shoulder, so I'm doing a bunch of them because I'm alone, hurt, and sad, and they're fun).
Anyway, the story:
I sat down next to him. I looked at my former student, now an adult. A brilliant engineer. I remembered him. I had really liked this kid. The man in front of me was impressive as hell too. It didn't surprise me at all.
"I'm really, really sorry this hurt you. That I hurt you. What I was trying to do was show you some techniques. My goal was that, later, after you learned them, you could deviate from them and make your own thing.
We have a set of guidelines of things we need to teach. It's a mandatory curriculum, with national guidelines, just like math or science or whatever. But it varies from state to state. And who the hell knows what they do in private school. And the curriculum isn't focused on self expression as much as teaching you how to use fine motor skills and..."
Shit, stop it Anna. You don't need to keep justifying yourself.
I try to remember when he had moved away during the school year. I wonder if I hadn't gotten to the point in the spring semester where I gave my students more lee way, to experiment and deviate from the techniques I showed them. To let them decorate their dishes any way they wanted. To make trees and flowers for different seasons. I wondered if he had been part of one of my first classes, before I figured out how to create a really solid curriculum.
Regardless, I could have been clearer about it. I was new to teaching when I had him as a student, I know that much. I was overwhelmed, and honestly, barely keeping it together for the first, like, 4 years I taught. And there were 20-30 students in my classes. It took me a a while to figure out what works and what doesn't in the classroom.
The most important thing was this man in front of me. He was way quieter and more hesitant than the kid I remembered. I hope I didn't do that to him, but I'm was probably reading too much into it.
I took a sip of my coffee.
"You know what's cool tho? The shit you've been doing at work-"
He looked surprised and snorted.
"What?"
"You swore."
It was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, to be fair I'm not in classroom mode right now.
Anyway, the stuff you've been doing at work, it all sounds like it takes a ton of creativity to accomplish."
"I never thought of it that way..."
"Well, you've been on the forefront of a bunch of stuff because you think outside the box. I'm glad I didn't rob you of that."
We sat next to each other on the bench. He was thinking it over. I was trying to not dwell on the fact that he brought this up, that he had carried this pain with him for 20 years.
"Do you still make art?"
"No, not since elementary school, since my last-"
"Your last required art class. Got it."
I gave him a side eyed glance.
"You know you can get back into it at any time, right?"
He was taken aback, he obviously had never considered it.
I smiled. I've had this conversation before, many many times.
"It's not like a sport or something. You can start at literally any point in your life, you don't need to be young and in peak physical condition. Art ain't basketball.
The cool thing too is that you can choose what you want to make, you're an adult. Nothing in art is required for you to learn. You can pick any class you want, or no class at all."
I gave him my business card.
"If you shoot me an email, I can give you some books to read for you to get started. Not to teach techniques, but exercises that help get you back to the point where you just make stuff. I think a LOT of people stop making art for all kinds of reasons, not just because of a novice teacher. There's been a bunch of stuff that's come out recently to try to help adults make art again. y'know, to recapture the joy of it."
We said our goodbyes. I really hope he thinks it over and reaches out.
Once a little boy went to school. One morning The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. He liked to make all kinds; Lions and tigers, Chickens and cows, Trains and boats; And he took out his box of crayons And began to draw.
But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make flowers.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make beautiful ones With his pink and orange and blue crayons. But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And it was red, with a green stem. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at his teacher’s flower Then he looked at his own flower. He liked his flower better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just turned his paper over, And made a flower like the teacher’s. It was red, with a green stem.
On another day The teacher said: “Today we are going to make something with clay.” “Good!” thought the little boy; He liked clay. He could make all kinds of things with clay: Snakes and snowmen, Elephants and mice, Cars and trucks And he began to pull and pinch His ball of clay.
But the teacher said, “Wait!” “It is not time to begin!” And she waited until everyone looked ready. “Now,” said the teacher, “We are going to make a dish.” “Good!” thought the little boy, He liked to make dishes. And he began to make some That were all shapes and sizes.
But the teacher said “Wait!” “And I will show you how.” And she showed everyone how to make One deep dish. “There,” said the teacher, “Now you may begin.”
The little boy looked at the teacher’s dish; Then he looked at his own. He liked his better than the teacher’s But he did not say this. He just rolled his clay into a big ball again And made a dish like the teacher’s. It was a deep dish.
And pretty soon The little boy learned to wait, And to watch And to make things just like the teacher. And pretty soon He didn’t make things of his own anymore.
Then it happened That the little boy and his family Moved to another house, In another city, And the little boy Had to go to another school.
The teacher said: “Today we are going to make a picture.” “Good!” thought the little boy. And he waited for the teacher To tell what to do. But the teacher didn’t say anything. She just walked around the room.
When she came to the little boy She asked, “Don’t you want to make a picture?” “Yes,” said the little boy. “What are we going to make?” “I don’t know until you make it,” said the teacher. “How shall I make it?” asked the little boy. “Why, anyway you like,” said the teacher. “And any color?” asked the little boy. “Any color,” said the teacher. And he began to make a red flower with a green stem.
~Helen Buckley, The Little Boy
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I'm gonna be so serious, y'all are remembering POWDER and Ekko and not JINX and Ekko when screaming about how much you "wanted Timebomb endgame over Caitvi"
shoving JINX in a relationship with her current mental state is not a good writing choice whatsoever, because Ekko literally had to keep rewinding time because she kept trying to kill herself. If Anything, That relationship would be rushed and fanservice because they would have jumped the gun in 2 episodes vs the 2 seasons it took for Caitvi and showing their ups and downs throughout their whole relationship.
The alternate universe works because Powder doesn't become Jinx and the two don't separate, unlike this universe where the two have been at odds for 7 years and almost kill each other back in Ep 7 of S1.
"But Cait never said sorry!" she didn't really have to, because Vi never stopped being in love with the girl that she Knows Cait is at heart, the Cocktail Molotov scene in Act 2 makes that VERY apparent. Cait saying that she was waiting for Vi to recover to address Jinx is the start of it because Act 1 Cait wouldn't have even Considered doing that, because she was so gung-ho about putting a bullet into Jinx that she Demanded Vi move out of the way for her to do so. She holds herself accountable with the mistakes she's made ("We can't erase our mistakes. None of us." that wasn't just a line targeted at Jinx to prove a point, there's deeper meaning behind it), and moving the guards out of the cell proving that she trusts Vi and her judgment on Jinx is that apology, Caitlyn has always been an "acts of service" kinda person over being a "verbal" kinda person; it's all over the place in S1 but Especially here in S2. But even after she takes Vi's shirt off, you could tell by her eyes and body language that she was most likely going to stop herself again to apologize for hitting her because the wound was in the same spot she initially hit, which was part of the lead up for This wound to even happen, but Vi's the one that just pulls her back in instead.
I'm also gonna add on that Vi thinks she made the wrong choice in trusting Jinx and thinking Jinx's changed because Jinx locked her in the cell and ran away again. So why in the Hell would Vi go chasing after her Again to be met with the same result time and time again? Vi isn't responsible for Jinx's mental health and y'all saying that are just weird. And I think it's apparent that Stillwater probably wasn't even in the top 10 things in her head being with Caitlyn, she was just running wild on emotions that she hasn't allowed herself to feel like-- Ever. And even if it Was Vi probably would have said she wasn't comfortable being in a jail cell of all places.
What was I talking about? Oh right, Timebomb.
Like Yes, it's shitty that Ekko doesn't get a happy ending considering he's the most unproblematic in the entire show. But people tend to forget that at the end of the day, Arcane is a TRADGEDY. It's not She-ra, it's not The Owl House, it wasn't going to be wrapped up in a neat little bow where everyone gets to smile and walk into the sunset with their loved ones, especially considering the fact that this season's being used as build ups to other stories, it's relatively clear that this isn't the last we're going to see of a lot of these characters. When they come back into play? well... who's to say?
But also, let's address that a lot of the Caitvi hate is just straight up homophobia at this point because a lot of people can understand Mel's admission to manipulating Jayce as an apology but Cait's actions we're suddenly braindead and need shit completely spelled out. like good lord I'm so tired of this. Y'all would NEVER have survived Catradora let me tell ya...
(My next post is gonna be a long winded rant about Maddie so stay tuned for that...)
#arcane#arcane season 2#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#ekko arcane#jink arcane#caitvi#timebomb#league of legends#yall are weird#and hypocritical#to say the least#arcane discussion#im rambling again#but i have a point#making timebomb canon would be fanservice not caitvi#im just saying
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This Mysterious Love (Chapter 1/?)
Daemons pov
I grip Mysaria's hips as I fuck her from behind, I try to think of anything but her. I'm about to feel the bliss of release when her face enters my mind. I abruptly stop my thrusts pulling out of my paramount and walking away to see the people of the streets. I slip a blanket over my shoulders fighting the chill that reaches my sweaty skin.
“What ails you my prince?” Mysaria says walking over to me.
I say nothing as I know what she believes is ailing me. My brother's babe, if the thing is a boy I would rejoice with the rest of the court for my brother has wanted this for years. All I want is for him to be happy, and if that means having a son so be it.
“The King can not replace you, my Prince. You are the Rogue Prince, rider of Caraxes. He would be a fool to replace you.” She says stroking my hair back comfortingly.
Ah there it is. I think dryly. Can I truly not be seen as a man who wants the happiness of his family? Or must I always be questioned about the love I feel for my family?
I see she is getting desperate to please me, she knows being my favorite whore gives her many benefits and much power in establishments like this one.
“Perhaps I bring you a whore with silver hair? I can make sure she's a maiden as well.” She says and finally has my attention.
“No, bring me one with auburn hair and brown eyes, make sure she's a maiden.” I say in the tone I know makes even men tremble let alone a woman of low standing.
She seems shocked but nods none the less walking away to grab her sheer shift slipping it on and leaving me to this piss poor wine and the sounds of people cheering and dogs fighting.
Maybe if I fuck one that looks like you, Little Hightower, you'll finally evade my mind. I think hopefully, for why would I ever want a Hightower, let alone Otto's daughter? I can't want her, I don't want her.
Alicent's pov
I can't believe I actually wore the neck the Prince gave me. As I was getting ready for the tourney a maid knocked on my door and only handed me a sealed note before leaving. Upon opening it I quickly found the Prince's writing stating.
Wear the necklace I gave you, Little Hightower, if you wish for me to take your favor as my own. D
I spent the next hour picking which dress matched the necklace best. I kept telling myself he demanded it of me, but I knew that was a lie. I wanted him to ask for my favor, I wanted to know we had a scent agreement, I wanted the Prince to choose me.
So here I am, in a grey dress that compliments the pearls on the choker and my hair pinned up with a gold clip to match the gold chain. I try not to think about why I pulled my hair up so he would see his gift upon me. But from the way my cheeks warm I know I am failing.
I turn to where Rhaenyra should be sitting as the King begins his speech. I try to fight the scowl that rises as I watch her sneak in trying to act like she was here the whole time.
If I tried that I would have my hands beaten with a ruler until my knuckles were bloody by the Septa. I think, biting my tongue when Rhaenyra starts to joke about how she's late and her father doesn't even care.
“He just continues on with his speech, what a pushover am I right?” She says with a light hearted giggle.
All I can do is give a pinched smile and nod. I take in the outfit she chose for today, a rich red dress with frills at the neckline to imitate the look of a dragon. Golden rings she twists and turns around her fingers, and a matching golden necklace with a ruby pendant her mother gave to her two years past for her nameday.
I take in the fact she is not wearing anything new, or should I say nothing I didn't know about.
“Did your uncle not give you anything? He usually gifts you something to wear.” I ask curiously.
She frowns and shakes her head. “No, I was hoping for something though, but it seems he couldn't find anything.” She says trying to sound nonchalant even though I can tell it pains her.
I nod and turn back to watch as the Baratheon is knocked off his horse by Ser Cole.
I hear Rhaenyra ask questions to Ser Harrold about the Cole. The urge to step in with the knowledge I've picked up about the Ser Cole is on the tip of my tongue when I hear the announcer declare. “Prince Daemon, The Prince of the city will now pick his first bout!”
I watch him walk back and forth upon his horse assessing each critically. Sadly I know when he has chosen, for it is my brother who seems to make him stop his horse and tilt his stick.
Oh please warrior, I know my brother will not win this but please let him live. I pray quickly before watching the match, hoping the gods have heard me.
I feel the sting of my nails digging into my cuticles, but no matter how hard I try, no matter how hard I command my body to stop this self-mutilation, I can’t. For there is something grounding in the act, the sting makes me stay present and not ide in the dark recesses of my mind. I know it is cruel upon my body, but how am I to break a habit I do not realize I am doing half the time?
I watch with bated breaths as the Prince and my brother charge, the sound of hooves hitting the ground, metals rattling, and the resounding crunch of a jousting tick meeting a shield is all I can hear. I know Rhaenyra is talking to me as I feel her move about, the way she does when she thinks she’s telling a funny story. I know the King and my father must be muttering to each other behind me, I know the Princess Rhaenys is scoffing at any knight that walks by. But all I can hear, all I can see, is the Prince and my brother as they joust.
I thank the Warrior when my brother makes it through the first bout, I almost believe he could possibly win this. But that hope comes crashing down when the Prince leans so his jousting stick hits my brother’s horse’s leg, sending them flying through the air and landing on the ground hard.
Why isn’t he getting up? Isn’t he supposed to get up? I think biting into the inside of my lip until I taste blood. I about collapse into a pile on the ground when I watch two squires drag my brother out of the jousting ring.
I watch as the Prince rides over to the royal box with his signature smirk. I fight the scowl that threatens to rise to my lips. I watch as his smirk widens when he notices the necklace, I fight the urge to rip the necklace from my throat and throw it at his feet. The feels as if this necklace is a show of my betrayal, of my idiocy as it burns into my throat.
“Nicely done Uncle.” Rhaenyra says and I about gasp at how insensitive she can be.
“Thank you, Niece. Now I’m sure can win these games, but having your favor, Little Hightower.” He says already leaning his jousting stick towards me. I want to say no, to tell him to go burn in the seven hells, but I know that it is improper to reject a knight so I turn to grab my favor and slip it onto the stick.
“Good luck, my Prince.” I say letting him see in my eyes the hate I feel for him now.
I walk back to my seat praying this Cole who seems to be promising, will take this smirking, good for nothing, Prince to be knocked down a peg or two.
I sit there halfway listening to Rhaenyra halfway watching the joust between Cole and the Prince. The smile that comes to my face when the Prince is knocked off his horse, is nothing short of pure unadulterated joy.
But soon I’m taken out of my thoughts by the whispers of the court, and only four words make me know how much mine and everyone’s lives are about to change.
The Queen is dead.
Special thanks to @sugutoad for making the header for this fic! i swear I'd be lost without you girly!
TAGLIST: @sugutoad @ilikefelines @mmogurl @classicsimpforaaronwarner @sachaa-ff @nommingonfood @yn-jackson @marvel-is-my-obsession @ninihrtss @dreamlandcreations @baybaybear1 @seaevans @fictionlurker @edenfanfictionsuggestions @zara-zara11
#house of the dragon#hotd#hotd fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#anti rhaenyra targaryen#fluff#pro alicent hightower#alicent hightower#alicent x daemon#hotd alicent#daemon x alicent#daemon targeryan#hotd daemon#daemon targaryen smut#hotd fanfiction#hotd fandom#ashblooddragons fanfics#ashblooddragons fanfic#ashblooddragons fic
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Ok so we have DILF!Gale thanks to @avonne-writes and I love him to bits but this au made me think: what about DILF!John?
Single dad John who split with his wife/girlfriend (I'm thinking amicably but it also could've been rough) because things weren't going well anymore but they have a kid and John just loves being a father, he's a proud owner of a "Best Dad in the World" mug and all that.
So he's juggling coparenting a young child and trying to get some kind of social life back now that he's single, and maybe Curt invites him some place one night and he meets Gale.
Gale who's been with Marge for years before coming to terms with his homosexuality and is now rejecting anything that reminds him of a traditional relationship, like marriage and especially children.
Gale and John hit it off right away, and maybe John doesn't explicitly state that he has a kid but keeps referring to them (the decision wether it's a boy or a girl is still pending but I'm thinking girl) with funny nicknames and Gale can't picture John as a father so he just assumes John's talking about his dog — he know he has one because he's showed him pictures, while he didn't show him his child because he's very cautious about that stuff.
So they start hanging out, they have sex a few times, and the thing progresses well so after a while they decide to bring their relationship to the following step; for John, it means introducing Gale and his child.
Gale almost has a heart attack when he finds out John has a child ("How could you not know?? I talk about them all the time!" "You called them my sweet potato how was I supposed to know you were talking about your child and not your dog?!") and at first he backs the hell up because it's not that he doesn't like children, they're nice, but he doesn't want to have one. And being with John would mean have a child too and it's just too much for him right now.
Cue to lots of mutual pining, John's assumption that he cannot be loved (yeah he's always a drama queen), Gale's realization that he can have a family if it's with someone he loves (yeah he's always a bit dumb with feelings)... all that and more, until a happy ending is reached!
Thoughts?
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Hi, I saw that your requests were open and I was wondering if you could make HC for when the farmer comes home all wrecked after a day at the mines (both bachelors and bachelorettes, if thats ok)
Hi there, thank you for sending :) Super fun to write for the bachelorettes as well as the bachelors <3 I'm writing these as established relationship HCs!
March
March can't help but worry about you each time you go to the times, no matter how nonchalant he tries to act or how many times he tells himself that you've been fine each time before.
Before you go, he'll always lecture you a bit and tell you to be careful (even though, he feels, this lecture goes ignored every time).
Without you asking, he'll spend time forging armor and swords that are strong and can provide a great deal of protection. You're clearly grateful for it, and it gives him peace of mind that you're wearing something he made so he's sure the quality is as good as possible.
If you're not back by a certain time, he'll go looking for you himself (even when, most of the time you're just fine).
The anxiety isn't totally unwarranted. There was a time once where he found you passed out in the mines, badly injured and attracting attention from monsters even in your unconscious state. He carried you all the way to Valen and had trouble sleeping for a day or two afterwards, even though Valen revived you no problem.
Sometimes March will insist on accompanying you from the start, claiming that he doesn't trust you to protect himself. You know not to take this as a blow to your defensive skills, but rather as proof of his deep love and care for you.
On the days you come home tired, he'll order you to go rest in bed and will wordlessly take care of you, whether that means cooking you dinner or washing off your sore body in the bath. He'll act annoyed, but you know that he doesn't mind at all taking care of you.
Ryis
Ryis worries about you when you spend late nights in the mines, but is also completely confident in your defensive skills. He knows that you're very strong, perhaps stronger than he would be down there.
He'd insist, however, that you pack food with you in case you grow exhausted down there.
He'd also make sure that you're wearing the best protection you could be. He'd probably call in a favor or two from March to give you the best equipment money could buy, just as an extra precaution.
He's always very excited and grateful when you bring home a trove of material or fascinating objects from your time down in the mines. He'd be interested to learn about all the materials that occur naturally down below, as well as the animal (monster) life living down there. Especially as Ryis would probably have little interest in going down there himself.
Ryis is less of a worrier than some others may be, but he'd definitely insist you be home by a certain time just so he could have total peace of mind and so that you two could spend the night together.
He'd definitely pamper you when you've had an exhausting day, whether that be from your time in the mines or from any other tasks you've had to complete throughout the day.
His care for you would definitely include nightly massages of your sore muscles. His idea of a perfect night is spent together in the bath with you, and then hanging out late into the night working on something relaxing like birdhouses, or even watching a movie together before falling asleep.
Hayden
One of the things Hayden loves and respects about you is your strength. He has plenty of it too, but is always deeply impressed by your ability to balance your work on the farm with your exploration of the mines.
He encourages your interests, and wants to give you as much time as possible to explore if that's what you feel like doing that day. He shows this encouragement by offering to take care of things on the farm on days when you want to go mining.
He hopes that'll take away some of your exhaustion, and he's more than happy to take care of you in that way. Any extra time spent with your animals is a happy day for him!
Hayden would care to make sure you're eating well before you go expending all that energy. He'll make lots of delicious food straight from the produce you've grown from the farm, and from the products donated by your animals.
Hayden wouldn't worry too much about your exploration in the mines, seeing how strong you are and how well you can handle yourself. He's just ready to get you home by the end of the night.
Hayden helps you recover by making sure you're well fed and well rested each day, without exception. If that means letting you sleep in a bit longer the next day and taking some of the load off your shoulders, he does it without a second thought.
Seeing his smiling face when you get home from a long day is enough to replenish some of your energy instantly. All Hayden cares about is that you're enjoying your days to the fullest in Mistria.
Balor
At first, Balor is more than supportive of your journeys down to the mines. After all, that's where you can find the rarest and most lucrative things for him to pawn off in the Capital!
It's also where you found a majority of the gifts that won his heart in the first place. It seemed like you were the only other person who appreciated these rare items to the same level he did, and he got so excited talking about it with you.
But once your relationship gets serious and progresses farther than just a business partnership, he starts to hate the days when you go down to the mines.
You always come back all scratched up and often injured, although usually not severely. Even so, he can't help but worry himself silly.
Yes, he's still excited when you come and happily show him all the wonderful things you've uncovered there that day. But he sure does wish there was another way to go about it.
He tries to persuade you to stop going down there, much to your surprise at first. You thought that he lived for these incredible finds. But he tells you that seeing you hurt isn't worth any amount of money.
He pays March a hefty sum to make you the best equipment and stocks you up with food each time you go. He can never get to sleep until he knows you're back home safe and have had your injuries healed.
He'll spend the rest of the night checking you to make sure you're really okay, and pampering you in every way possible. He wants you to know how grateful he is that you put yourself in danger on behalf of your mutual financial wellbeing. And he'll always have a special gift for you as an extra thank you.
Eiland
One thing that Eiland loves about you is your shared interest in all things archeological. The idea that there was someone as excited as him to explore the mysteries of the minds makes him deeply happy.
In fact, he's so excited and eager to find out what's down there that he doesn't really think of the extent of the danger. To be fair, he doesn't know that the mines are infected with a slew of monsters until you tell him.
When you first start returning to him after a day in the mines, you can spend hours discussing what you saw down there and going through all the evidence and artifacts you came across. Because you're equally excited as he is, he doesn't notice at first that you've injured yourself.
It's only after he sees you wincing in pain that he questions what happened, and then he feels terrible that he didn't notice it at first! When you confess to him all that's living down there, he instantly says that the mines must be closed off again.
Yes, he is deeply interested in what can be found down there. But the safety of the residents of Mistria are paramount. And you, as the person he cares about most in the world, take priority above all of that.
He feels a bit more reassured when you tell him that closing the mines is out of the question, that your injuries are not severe at all, and that on the contrary you absolutely love going down there. He's excited too, but just much more weary about your adventures now.
He'll stay late at the museum on nights when you decide to go into the mines, ready to meet you first thing once you exit. He has bottles of tonic to help you heal ready, as well as scores of delicious desserts to eat while talking over what you found that day. He's super eager, but will always prioritize your health over all else.
Valen
Valen doesn't stop being your doctor when she becomes your partner, and your health and safety are always her first priority. She knows she's not supposed to have any biases towards certain patients, but how could she not when she loves you so much?
Because of this, she really attempts to insist you stop going down to the mines. She knows that you find it fun and interesting, but she still doesn't fully understand. You make very decent money between the two of you, so it's not because of that.
She truly finds it difficult to understand why you don't prioritize your own health, especially with someone who worries so much about you waiting for you. But after discussing it, she concedes that she must let you enjoy your own interests and be there to support however she can.
You do agree to compromise on not staying out too late, as she cannot sleep at all until you're back home safe and your injuries are all tended to. Before you go, she prepares strong concoctions with her panacea to heal up most of your injuries instantly as soon as you're home.
On one occasion, when your injuries weren't mild and you had to stay overnight in the doctor's office, she didn't sleep a wink with worry for you. Even though she rationally understood that you'd be just fine in a few days, and of course trusted her own skills in taking care of you, her concern for you is overwhelming.
Most times, however, you're just fine and she's at home lovingly waiting for your return. She'll feed you a healthy dinner and run you a bath with salts to help soothe your aching muscles.
She'll always pack tonics to take with you as well, free of charge of course. You're incredibly grateful to have such a caring partner.
Juniper
Juniper tries really hard to act like she doesn't care what you're doing all day. She's still getting used to the idea of having a partner and showing vulnerability and care towards them.
She does care, really. It hurts her ego a tiny bit when she concedes to the fact that she does care. But at the same time, she can't do well at hiding her worry when you come home injured.
When you come back from the minds and show her everything you found, her interest is piqued. You consider it an enormous accomplishment the first time you gift her a crystal rose you found on one of the lower floors, telling her that she was the first thing you thought of when you saw the flower for the first time, and see her actually blush.
She can't even pretend to act proud at your "tribute." She's genuinely happy and flustered, and you consider that a win.
When you do come home hurt, she'll silently bring you into the bath house. Undressing you and then herself, she'll climb into the bath with you for a long soak.
That may include a massage as well, if you've caught her in a good mood or won her over that day with your gestures of affection via gifts from the mines. You can really get her if you tell her that you put yourself in harms way for her. She loves to feel like you put a lot of thought into her happiness.
She's not unaccustomed to flattery or worship, sure. But the real love, devotion, and attention she feels from you is new. And she's going to take steps to make sure the feeling is mutual.
Reina
Reina admires how strong you are, and how self-sufficient. But at the end of the day, she's still a big sister and being caring is her defining quality. She can't help but worry when you put yourself in danger.
She doesn't try to talk you out of it. She knows that there's no use in that. But she will do whatever she can to make your endeavors as safe as possible.
She insists of filling your bag with as much delicious food as you can carry without becoming over-encumbered. She'll cook all your favorites so you'll be more inclined to eat them as soon as your energy starts to wane in the mines.
You can always expect the same when you get back to her as well. She doesn't take no for an answer when it comes to you eating properly, even when you tell her that you've already eaten all the delicious things she packed for you during your excursion.
After you're well-fed and warmed up, you two like to relax the rest of the evening by the warm fire of the Inn, talking into the night and even sharing a warm Hot Toddy if you really need to wind down.
She's always interested to hear about everything you do each day, especially including what you do in the mines. She finds it fascinating, especially as that sort of stuff doesn't usually appeal to her. She's more than happy to listen to your tales rather than go do those things herself.
She'll often share your stories and brag of your strength and bravery to everyone who will listen when patronizing the Inn. She's proud to have such a strong and fearless partner.
Adeline
Adeline is a worrier by nature. She needs to have things under control as much as possible, and the fact that her partner is so fearless can be a difficult adjustment for her.
She knows that she needs to let you have your own hobbies. She also knows that she invited you to Mistria as an adventurer, so she can't go back on her word now.
Even so, she wishes you'd do just a little less adventuring now that you've found a home in the village. She doesn't tell you this directly, but also can't hide how stressed she gets when you're down there and she doesn't know how you're faring.
She makes you promise to be back by a certain time each night, and is upset if you ever miss that curfew. She knows that she can't boss you around like that, but you're willing to oblige her knowing how much stress she's already balancing and how much she cares about your well-being.
She does know what it's like to have someone deeply interesting in exploring, and is happy that her brother has a friend to discuss these things with now. She engages in the conversation and does find it interesting, especially if you're the one telling about it rather than Eiland. You just have a much more... engaging way of talking on the subject.
One thing that she will agree with you on is that the items you're able to find in the mines can be helpful to some of the townsfolk around Mistria. Whenever someone needs an item that may be hard to obtain, she admires the fact that you're quick to jump in and help (even if that means putting yourself in harms way). She loves that about you.
As soon as you're back home, she's making sure that you're well-rested in the most comfortable home, with the most comfortable pajamas and all the luxuries she can afford. If you're injured, she's happy to go to any lengths to make sure you get everything you need. It's the least she can do to prove how much she cares for you.
Celine
Celine is always terrified whenever you tell her you're going down to the mines. She can't imagine facing all those scary monsters and risking getting hurt! The worry is apparent on her face every time.
She knows that you're strong and more than capable, but she's scared for you nonetheless. One of the few times you see her act sternly is when she makes you promise that you'll avoid trouble there as much as possible and be home at a reasonable time.
It doesn't help that Dell encourages you completely. Opposite of what would usually be expected, Celine is worried that Dell is a bad influence on you and spurs you on into danger.
Celine tries to be supportive, but is always ready to take care of you whenever you come home from a long day in the mines. Her cottage is stock piled with medicines from Valen, delicious food cooked either by herself or by Reina, and a warm bed for you to rest in.
She cannot lie, though. Whenever you bring her a new rare plant or flower from the mines, she is so excited that she nearly forgets her reservations.
She'll spend hours reading about the fauna in her Codex Mistria, taking precious care of this wonderful gift you've given her. Her appreciation is apparent, and this incredible gift is almost worth letting you go down to the mines.
In any case, she's always excited to have you back home and will go above and beyond in taking care of you when youi're exhausted or even hurt.
#my writing#fields of mistria#fom#fields of mistria x reader#fields of mistria x farmer#march#ryis#hayden#balor#eiland#valen#juniper#reina#adeline#celine#fields of mistria march#fields of mistria ryis#fields of mistria hayden#fields of mistria balor#fields of mistria eiland#fields of mistria valen#fields of mistria juniper#fields of mistria reina#fields of mistria adeline#fields of mistria celine#march x reader#march x farmer#ryis x reader#ryis x farmer#hayden x reader
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This is in response to @theinvisibledavis talking about (misogynistic) people attacking Kat, because they don't like Earth (as well as other female characters), and how they think that "the writing of the shows are bad"
Let me start with this: Before TSAMS and LAES, I haven't watched anything in a long time. Because personally, I am not a big fan of TV series, nor do I watch a lot of movies. But these shows and their characters have captured me. I have watched every single sams video this year, during a time span of about half a year (And let me tell you, my mental health was down the drain earlier this year. A day, where I could watch 12 videos in a row, felt just amazing to me. I am now in a much better and stable state. And TSBS has always been there along the way, as a means of comfort.) .
Now I am doing the same with LAES, and I am not any less interested in it. Their videos make me laugh my guts out, make me bawl my eyes out, or simply just let me relax and calm down after a long day at work. And it's all for free! With practically an unlimited amount of content! I, for a fact, know that I am not gonna run out of new videos to watch anytime soon. They upload daily after all! I am 100% sure, that I have still about 2 years worth left to watch. And with the continues uploads, it's probably more like 4 or even 5 years. And it's all just at the grasp of our hands! All of it!
I can't imagine how much blood, sweat and tears the actors must have put into their channels. This takes so much dedication, we can't even imagine the stress they must and have been going through, to make these shows and this fandom a reality! So we all must be grateful for their hard work. What is a few minutes of entertainment for us, is hours of work for them. We need to be thankful and show our support. It's the least that we can do.
So thank you Kat, Davis, Reed, Matt and all the other VAs of other shows that I haven't gotten to know yet. Thank you for your dedication to my and many other people's favourite shows. ❤
And @queenkatluv, if you ever read this: I hope you are okay and that your mental health hasn't taken too much of a blow from all the unnecessary hate, or that you will quickly recover from it. It must be difficult, but try to not take their mean words to heart. I don't have to listen to what they say, nor will I ever, because I know from the beginning on, that what they say is simply not fact. I don't really interact with the fandom, but they gotta be just the vocal minority. I'm sure the majority loves you and Earth.
You are amazing! Your acting is amazing! Your characters are amazing! Your writing is amazing! You deserve to rest well and take it easy. Eat your favorite meal as much as you wish. Have a nice bubble bath, or take a walk in nature if you prefer. Or both! Spend time with those that do you good. You deserve it all times infinity, because you are simply just amazing.
Earth is always so kind, helpful and empathetic towards others. What would she say to you? I'm sure you'll know, because you know her the best.
(Oh an by the way, the quality of The Vampire's Bride is chef's kiss to me. It's like a TV show, but the good kind.)
#sun and moon show#lunar and earth show#the security breach show#tsams#laes#tsbs#queen kat productions#the invisible davis
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🧍♀️i can't even describe my emotional state rn
i was so happy to read pt.2. i thought it'd be happy. v, you weren't lying when you said angst, no comfort. THIS HURTS. THIS IS SO ANGSTY BUT ALSO SO SOFT, AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TYPE OF EMOTION I FEEL ATP
but my god, your writing skills??? i love that so much. and i love LOVE your world building. this was so fun to read. i can't wait to read more from you!!
annotations;
avoiding his reflection in the mirror as usual.
oooh, this makes me curious
Upon the first splash of water hitting his face, he thought of you. It was inevitable. The image of you sitting on the ground, surrounded by trees. That night, he left you for good. That night nothing made sense.
🧍♀️it does make sense honey, you're just in denial.
“Jeonghan, don’t go.” He recoiled, shaking his head and mentally reprimanding himself for thinking of you. But your last words to him were a curse, echoing inside him every night, refusing to leave.
ow ow ow, ok. that cut, deep.
How come he did not think that by killing every single demon within the town’s radar he was putting a target on you for other hunters?
since when have you used your brain? (yes im insulting him, how dare he?)
Jeonghan missed you.
THIS IS ANGSTY BUT ALSO SOFT AHHHHHH
The pull. The feeling he got every time he closed his eyes, the need and deep craving for you that made him go insane. He let himself feel it. It tugged inside him, like a thread that was tied to his very core.
your descriptions >>>> i actually felt the pull. v, i love your writing
The same thigh he had been rubbing since he woke up. It made no sense.
IT MAKES SENSE, YOU IDIOT
A sheen layer of cold sweat covered your face and neck, breathing hard. “Fuck you,” you sighed when he stopped squeezing your flesh.
lmfao. i love her 🫶
“Why haven’t you fed?” he asked, and it took you a while to understand that he was reprimanding you.
he's worried.
“I’m not talking about human food,” he said with annoyance, shooting you a look that made you shrink in your seat. “Why haven’t you been feeding?”
HE'S WORRIED. eating my fist rn, this is soo ughhhh, adorable and heart breaking at the same time. idek what emotion im feeling atp.
You saw him walking away from the car, putting his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his long hair tied in a messy ponytail.
PONYTAIL JEONGHAN ?!?!
You knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him. And you knew what it was.
this is ... domestic and soft.
With a sigh, you walked inside the room. “One bed?” you turned to him with an exasperated look.
qsadfghjnmhngbfrdszghyjuhn, AHHHHHH-wait, you guys have fucked countless times.
Jeonghan frowned, not at you but at the thing stirring inside his chest. That feeling he got only when he was with you. “When is the last time you fed?”
HE'S WORRIED WHAT IF I THROW MYSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW
“You’ll die,” he sentenced after some seconds. “Are you insane?”
me when a man does the bare minimum, but my bar is in hell.
“Why do you want to become human?” the words sounded ridiculous as he uttered them.
oh ... 🧍♀️she's down bad
Jeonghan had never seen a demon cry, let alone one that wanted to become human. It made no sense.
IT MAKES SENSE HEXSBKNDFMGFHGVFCDSFGH YOU IDIOT
“Is that necessary?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he sank under the covers with you.
lmfao, this guy is slick
He found himself entirely pressed to your body, his front to the back of yours. His nose buried in your mane of hair, an arm draped over your waist.
fuck, this is so domestic, and soft, and cute, and lovely, and sweet, and-i can't.
Jeonghan pressed his fingers on your chin gently, tugging you so you locked your pretty eyes with his. “Does it not, really?”
RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅
“Did you think I would want you more if you were human?” he asked without heat in his words, his gaze reading your features over and over. “Did you think that would give you a shot at a normal thing happening between us?”
🧍♀️she's just down bad, ok? go easy on her.
By this, you meant, the out-of-the-ordinary need for him, the desperate craving that refused to let you live. Maybe then, the bond between you would not be so unbearable.
asdfghjkl i love this. so angsty and so soft, and i dont even what the fuck im feeling
“What?” he bit back, holding your face with both hands, squishing your cheeks. “What will you do, eh?”
AHHHHHHWDSNHAOVFUBRHJL DFCVMDSCVBNHDNHTBGFVDC AH YOON JEONGHAN THE MAN YOU ARE
Nothing in existence would make him stop wanting you, damned to hell or not.
But did he miss you the same way you did? Did he crave to hear your voice like you did his?
fucking hell, oh he fucking did.
“Scary baby demon, what are you going to do?” he teased again, kissing the apple of your cheek, his breath caressing your ear. “I want to see that,” he said mockingly. “Make me suffer.” “I’ll be mad at you.” “I ache for you,”
“You fucking brat,” he spat, pressing his face on yours, giving you a hard kiss in the process. “Delusional little demon. Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?” “Did you really think… I’d stop wanting you?” he panted in between his hard thrusts, the strain in his voice telling you how close he was to his release. “I’ll never stop wanting you.”
this is my live reaction. im actually dead, this is my soul typing
“I won’t do it again,” “That’s it… that’s my girl,”
WTF OMG IM JUST A GIRL, I CANT- I CAN'T
“Jeonghan,” you started, your tone reducing itself to a whisper. “There is a reason why we can’t get rid of each other.”
say it. SAY IT
“It makes no sense,” he whispered dejectedly. It made perfect sense.
im killing myself if my soulmate goes through stages of grief instead of happiness when it is revealed.
Jeonghan sighed, touching your forehead with his. “That’s a high price to pay,” he whispered.
well, what do you expect? this is the third time, SHE'S DOWN BAD
“I like you the way you are.”
oh my FUCKING GOD I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.
“Don’t go,” he mumbled. Fool. He was a fool.
whyyyyy NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
FOR ONCE, JUST ONCE, WHY CNA'T THEY BE HAPPY
the traitor | yoon jeonghan
› pairings: yoon jeonghan x female reader › aus: demon hunter jeonghan, supernatural au, demon reader › genres: angst, smut (18+) › word count: 8.4k
› 🎧: mood – dpr ian | shameless – yuni | symphony – highvyn ft. jey | read your mind – meloh | dive – jooyoung | dead man running – seulgi | for us – v | moonstruck – enhypen | war-r-r – colde
› this one shot is part 2 of the curse - hannieween fest
› warnings after the cut! READ THEM CAREFULLY 🗣️
› warnings: smut with plot, unprotected p in v sex, oral sex (both receivers), pussy drunk jeonghan, cockdrunk reader, cum swallowing, creampies, cowgirl, mating press. pet names: baby, baby demon (hers)
› disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.
› author's note: this is part two of my demon hunter hannie! hehe i loved writing it sm and thought to give you a follow-up part!
› additional note: this isn't proofread
the traitor
JEONGHAN WAS WOKEN UP BY A TINGLING FEELING. As a hunter, he needed to pay attention to a few things, like sudden surges of emotions. Hunches. Tingling sensations were not particularly something he would consider in the bunch. But alas.
He pushed himself up, swinging his legs at the rim of the bed and stared at his knees for a long second. He took a deep breath, rubbing his leg. It was pointless, he thought when he could not find a reason to leave his bed in the middle of the night.
But being a hunter also meant he needed to be on high alert nearly all the time. In his experience, sometimes it was a good idea to pay attention to those moments when nothing made sense at all, such as this.
Sucking in a breath, he got up, stretching his arms over his head as he went over to the small bathroom, avoiding his reflection in the mirror as usual.
Upon the first splash of water hitting his face, he thought of you. It was inevitable. The image of you sitting on the ground, surrounded by trees. That night, he left you for good. That night nothing made sense.
Needless to say, he was exercising all of his will not to go back to you.
Stop trying to make sense of everything.
After that, he debated whether to go back to bed or not. He could take a bottle, try to numb his senses and finally get a good night of sleep. But he needed to stay sharp.
It was a lost game. He got dressed, throwing his pair of black pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Finally strapping his chest harness on with his knife. Going out in the middle of the night meant to him that he was out for blood.
That was his way to distract himself.
“Jeonghan, don’t go.”
He recoiled, shaking his head and mentally reprimanding himself for thinking of you. But your last words to him were a curse, echoing inside him every night, refusing to leave.
Jeonghan let out a long exhale as he wandered through the night. The streets of the town were completely deserted, he knew he would have to stay out for some hours before he found a target.
These nights, he had been hunting until he travelled three towns over. All because he cannot find it in himself to sleep, he has to fight the urge to seek you out somehow.
Maybe this will be the night he breaks.
There was nothing in this town. It was too safe, too clean. He knew it would not be long until he had to move to a different town and start over. He had been commissioned to travel to different parts of the globe to find something to hunt down, so maybe he was doing his job right.
So why did he come back to this shitty town?
Something spiked in his nightly walk. There was something unusual in the air and it was not good. Jeonghan had really good senses, but his intuition was something that discerned him from the rest. Sometimes, people would tell him that his intuition was something out of the ordinary for hunters. So he paid more attention to that rather than his other senses.
He subconsciously rubbed his leg and caught his hand just as it dawned on him.
“Jeonghan, don’t go.”
Fear set in, and adrenaline kicked in as he started for a run. He had been stupid. So fucking stupid. How come he did not think that by killing every single demon within the town’s radar he was putting a target on you for other hunters?
Jeonghan knew the town by heart, but he could travel to your apartment with his eyes closed. Countless were the nights he stumbled upon your front door, burdened with misery all over. This cannot be the way he finds you dead.
“No, no, no, no…” he had been repeating the word like a prayer as he climbed through a labyrinth of stairs, panting, sweating until he burst the door open, already knowing you would not be there.
He called your name, either way, his voice bouncing back the walls. There was something off. A glass was shattered, pushed against the corner of the room. One of the chairs was drawn back, in the middle of the way. Jeonghan painted a scene of what could have gone down.
You were probably having the bowl of cereal that was abandoned on the table when the other hunter burst in. Jeonghan could not catch the scent of the other hunter, so that meant whoever that was, they masked themselves well.
No, you would have felt his presence before he could even breathe in your direction. Even if you were young, you were not completely inexperienced in the world of hunters. He made sure of that.
Another possibility was that you were asleep when the other hunter came. The sheets of your bed were tossed to one side. Jeonghan crouched next to the mattress, a terrible feeling sinking inside him upon getting your scent lingering on the pillowcases.
Jeonghan missed you.
“Where are you?” he whispered, closing his eyes to focus on your scent.
You smelled like freshly picked flowers. The smell he would get in the early morning after a night of rain. The fact that you did not smell like death, or blood made it hard for him to focus sometimes.
He opened his eyes, his focus falling on the open window. Then, he knew why he could not make a story from his surroundings. He had been wrong to assume it was just one hunter.
Someone had also come through the window. You were trapped from the beginning. His chest contracted painfully. But somehow he knew you were not dead yet. Have you been taken? For what end?
The possibilities were endless. Even if hunters had a long history of hating demons, some of them were missing some screws in their heads too.
Jeonghan needed to find you, soon.
Making his way down the stairs, part of him wondered why try at all. He could be rid of you once and for all. He could probably turn a blind eye to this and wait for your name to appear on the ledges. He would be free from the fucking pull that lead him to you every time.
The pull.
The feeling he got every time he closed his eyes, the need and deep craving for you that made him go insane. He let himself feel it. It tugged inside him, like a thread that was tied to his very core.
Jeonghan had refused that feeling ever since he met you, thinking it was some kind of trick you played on him. Silly little hunter got all wrapped in a demon’s finger.
But if he dared to give in to the pull, everything smelled of you. Every gulp of air he took as he walked in the direction his senses told him, he saw your face, your teary eyes as he walked away. Fool, he was a fool.
He was led to the forest, the same path he had gone through when he saw you last. Maybe he was wrong, maybe he should go back and hunt you down.
But then he heard noises, leaves rustling, and a small intake of breath. The sweet way you drew air into your lungs.
He thought of risking calling your name, but he did not know if the hunters were around. So he just followed the sound of your movements until he could get his sight on you.
You could barely walk right. Something had brought you to your knees, your arms were shaking as you forced yourself to stand up, with a low grunt.
Jeonghan called your name this time, making you lift your head.
He stopped abruptly at the sight of something shiny in your fist.
“Don’t move,” you said, punctuating each word painfully.
“What happened?” he asked, his tone declining in sickening worry, his gaze coasted at each of your limbs, zeroing in on your thigh. The same thigh he had been rubbing since he woke up. It made no sense.
“Step back, Jeonghan,” you panted in pain, raising the knife at him when he made a motion toward you.
“You didn’t notice me coming,” he muttered, analyzing the situation quickly. He sent his gaze around, seeing if there were signs that there was someone lurking by. “Let me take a look at that.”
“How did you find me?” you asked, letting yourself plop back to the ground, letting go of the knife.
Jeonghan got to your side, dropping to his knees to look at your thigh. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, eyeing you. “I’m going to touch you now.”
You nodded and braced yourself for the searing pain in your leg. “Two hunters came for me,” you said, clenching your jaw tightly to resist the pain throbbing in your skin, around the gaping hole that was turning black.
“I know,” he said, examining the open wound. “Did they stab you?”
You shook your head twice. “They were using a crossbow. Silver arrows,” you explained despite the need to rest your head on the ground and sleep through it. “I feel dizzy.”
Jeonghan shot you a look. He was worried. “It’s the poison, they must’ve poisoned the arrows to neutralize you,” he said at once. “What did you do to the arrow?”
“I used it on one of them,” you replied with half a smirk that slowly vanished as Jeonghan started to press on the wound, seeing any signs of anything odd or unfamiliar.
“Sorry,” he breathed as you tensed in pain. “I need to see if there’s anything in there,” he explained, but what did not satiate the doubts running in his mind.
“I can’t heal it,” you repeated and now he could see that beneath the pain and the need to deflect it with humour, you were scared.
“I know, I know,” he told you, giving you a stern look. “I can help you but you’ll have to be quiet.”
“Are you missing this opportunity to gag me?” you quipped but your tone was made weak by the fear of feeling pain.
Demons were used to pain, yes. But you were a fairly young demon and lived for most of your life in the human world. Such pain was not welcome for you.
“Breathe,” he instructed and used his hands on your thigh to squeeze the blood that had gone black and tacky around the wound.
You gritted your teeth, writhing in pain on the cold ground. “Stop, stop, stop,” you cried out, trying to get his hands off you.
But Jeonghan was quicker, and stronger than you at that moment. He did not deter from his task to squeeze the poisoned blood out of you despite your desperate cries for him to stop.
You lied, nearly limp from the exhaustion the pain had put you through. A sheen layer of cold sweat covered your face and neck, breathing hard. “Fuck you,” you sighed when he stopped squeezing your flesh.
“I’m not done yet, I need pressure on the wound,” he said, moving back to unfasten his belt with his bloodied hands. He strapped the belt around your upper thigh, forming a tight tourniquet.
“Hurry,” you said through heavy breaths. As you eased your back on the ground, Jeonghan caught sight of the dark wings splayed beneath your body, a clear sign that you could not conceal yourself any further.
Jeonghan made no comment about the weakened state you were in. A knot was set in his stomach upon realizing that you were dying. He grabbed one of the vials he kept in his hunter’s belt, it contained a white liquid. “This is going to sting a little,” he murmured, unstoppering the vial with his mouth and not pausing before pouring the antidote on your open wound.
Your hand flew to clench at his wrist, letting out a scream that was quickly muffled by his hand clasped in your mouth.
“I’m nearly done,” he said with a composure that you could see through. Beneath that, Jeonghan was worried you would not make it.
“Am I going to be all right?” you asked in a daze, slurring out your words.
“Drink this,” he pressed the vial to your lips, pouring the rest down your tongue, which you gulped willfully, it tasted like white vinegar.
You rested your head on the ground, taking slow and deep breaths as though you had just finished running a marathon.
“You’re going to be all right,” he said after a quick examination of the wound. “But you’ll need to feed soon.”
“Right,” you mumbled in understanding. By feeding, Jeonghan did not mean human food. Although you could eat human food just all right, it did not sustain what your soul craved.
He meant sins. You needed to feed off human sin. They made you stronger, and faster. They gave you the fuel needed to fight hunters. Going off sins for a while made you just as strong as an average human.
“Why haven’t you fed?” he asked, and it took you a while to understand that he was reprimanding you.
“Been busy,” you sighed, closing your eyes for a moment.
The last thing you heard was Jeonghan mumbling, “We’ll need to move soon,” before you fell into a deep sleep on a floor covered by dead leaves.
Upon regaining consciousness, you noticed with some slowness that you were not surrounded by trees, and you were moving. Your wings were cradling you, so that meant your horns were on sight too.
You tensed up, drawing in a shaky breath, palming your body in search of the knife that you stole from your attackers.
“Easy,” Jeonghan murmured next to you, a hand on the wheel, the other on the shift stick.
“Where are we?” you said, looking around.
“Radewood town,” he replied nonchalantly, eyes set forward on the road.
“Why?” you asked slowly, hiding your wings, from his view, then your horns.
“How’s your leg?” he asked instead, glancing at your thigh.
The wound had stopped bleeding, it was no longer oozing that black substance that had Jeonghan looking worried. You hissed painfully upon searching it with your fingers. The blood had dried, but it was not healing at the speed you would normally have.
“It hurts,” you mumbled, biting your bottom lip. “It’s not healing.”
Jeonghan nodded. “You need to feed,” he reminded you with the same tone of reprimand of earlier.
“Well, I fled without stopping to grab my purse so,” you sighed. “I don’t have money.”
“I’m not talking about human food,” he said with annoyance, shooting you a look that made you shrink in your seat. “Why haven’t you been feeding?”
You blinked slowly at him and shook your head after deciding that there was no answer that would please him. “I have–,”
“Don’t say you have been busy,” he cut in.
“Well, it’s the truth,” you said with a clear tone that gave away your lie.
But Jeonghan could feel it. Whenever you told a lie, there was a change in the air that only he could notice as a hunter. No human could ever detect your lies, only people like him.
“You know I know when you’re lying,” he said flatly, throwing you a dark look.
“Be content with that,” you bit back. “I’m not telling you anything else.”
Jeonghan shook his head, deciding not to press any further on the matter. He licked his lips, filling his lungs with the fresh midnight air that swept in through his rolled window.
“Jeonghan,” you called softly and did not proceed with your question until he glanced your way. “Why are you helping me?”
Jeonghan turned on a different street again, checking his rearview mirror, pretending to ready his answer. “I don’t know,” he replied.
There it was the empty void extending between you and him. If he lied, you would have sensed it too.
“How did you find me?” you pressed, trying to the best of your ability to analyze him. You were still weak, but you could still observe him despite your foggy brain.
“I don’t know,” he repeated with a low tone that barely cut through the noise of the engine of the car.
It made no sense. The way he found you in the woods was not done with any of his training. He simply closed his eyes and let him be taken to you. He did not even think twice as he carried your body to his car and started it, taking you far away from the town where you would be at risk of being hunted down.
“We have to lay low for now,” he mumbled, avoiding your eyes as he cut the engine on an empty parking lot.
You raised your gaze to the motel sign, flaring in red neon light. “Is this your version of laying low?” you said with a sarcastic huff. “We could’ve done that back in the forest.”
Jeonghan opened the door, not bothering to look at you or give you a reply. “Stay here.”
You saw him walking away from the car, putting his hands in the pockets of his black leather jacket, his long hair tied in a messy ponytail.
You could run away. You did not know if Jeonghan was even aware of this. Maybe he was, you had a bad leg, and you were growing weaker.
Plus, there was the fact that he was now aware that he could trace you with his eyes closed.
You swallowed hard, waiting for him in the passenger seat of his old Mustang. You were going nowhere.
Some minutes later, you saw Jeonghan exiting the building and walking towards your door, which he opened to retrieve his belongings, which were his belt and his knife.
“This way,” he mumbled, motioning to one of the doors with a jerk of his head.
Reluctantly, you exited the car, closing the door behind you. Jeonghan turned and walked over to the door, introducing the key, and opening it for you.
You knew better than to fight it. There was a quiet storm brewing in the man’s head, and you were in its eye. You knew him well enough to tell when something was bothering him. And you knew what it was.
With a sigh, you walked inside the room. “One bed?” you turned to him with an exasperated look.
“I didn’t think you would mind,” he froze by the doorframe.
“Whatever,” you waved a hand dismissively before he could offer to change it.
As soon as Jeonghan closed the doors and the blinds, you started to the bathroom, taking all of your clothes off in front of him. You made no invitation, no offer but you still left the door open, the sound of the shower filling the tiny room.
Jeonghan made another small inspection, looking out of the window through the blinds before deciding to relax. He took his jacket off, leaving it neatly by the chair that was pushed to one corner of the room. He took his boots off, sitting down on the chair with a low grunt of exhaustion.
As he sat up straight, he caught sight of his hand, only noticing because he had started moving it, rubbing his palm on the exact spot where you had been injured.
“What the fuck?” he whispered to himself, raising his gaze as you returned to the bathroom, wholly naked, pressing a towel to your hair.
“You okay, hunter?” you eyed him curiously, like a cat that just noticed a flashy light.
Jeonghan frowned, not at you but at the thing stirring inside his chest. That feeling he got only when he was with you. “When is the last time you fed?”
“Here we go again,” you rolled your eyes but continued towel-drying your hair without bothering to respond.
“Answer me,” he muttered when you turned your back on him. Your reluctance to answer his question might have given him the answer.
“The last time we saw each other,” you said, your words echoing his own thoughts.
“Why?” the word was sharp like it took everything in him to suppress the dark emotion pulling on his every nerve. “That happened months ago.”
“Why do you care so much?” you spat, turning around to face him.
The question seemed to make him return to his senses, his eyes flickered with an emotion that you were to weak to catch. “I don’t,” he replied, stepping back from his initial anger.
“I’ll feed whenever I want to,” you said and this time you did not lie.
Jeonghan stood up, commanding your gaze to lift up to find his. “So you’re not hungry?”
You bit your tongue. Your eyes were dead, and despite the hot shower you had just taken, you were cold to the touch as Jeonghan curiously raised a hand to your shoulder. It was pointless, your plan had crashed and burned miserably.
“I’ve heard stories…” you whispered, closing your eyes to repel the sensation firing inside you. “Stories of ways a demon can become human. You can’t become human if you’re feeding off them, right?”
When Jeonghan did not reply, nor move you opened your eyes again. He was still rigid in the same trance he had been upon finding you injured and bleeding in the forest.
“You’ll die,” he sentenced after some seconds. “Are you insane?”
You brushed his hand off. “I knew you’d say that,” you whispered with a pained look, turning around to sit down on the bed.
“Why do you want to become human?” the words sounded ridiculous as he uttered them.
“Not your business, Jeonghan,” you replied impishly, throwing the towel to him, which he saw coming, catching it with ease.
“It is if you’re running away with me,” he said. Your temptation to feed could become dangerous. And he was toeing that line too deliberately.
“I didn’t choose to run away with you,” you bit back with an indignant huff.
“That’s the thanks I get?” he rolled his eyes in annoyance. “What was I supposed to do, then? Leave you to die? To be found by them?”
He did not need to explain who he referred to. The two hunters must have noticed that Jeonghan ran away with his things, his car, leaving an empty place behind. And you are nowhere to be found. He was a traitor.
“Maybe,” you whispered, lowering your gaze to your lap. You skirted the pads of your fingers around the wound that still refused to heal completely.
Jeonghan stood before you, using a hand on your chin to force your teary eyes on him. A finger scooped your tear as it rolled down your cheek. The tear glistened on the pad of his thumb as he showed it to you, a shocked expression plastered on his face.
Demons felt emotions, yes. But nothing like sorrow. Jeonghan had never seen a demon cry, let alone one that wanted to become human. It made no sense.
“It’s possible, Jeonghan,” you whispered shakily, letting your tears flow freely.
“Humans are weak. They get sick, they die. Besides, the guilt of everything you’ve done as a demon will crush you,” he said, dropping his hand from your chin. “Why would you want something like that?”
“I’m done talking,” you said childishly, turning over to draw the covers of the bed and tucked yourself in. “Goodnight.”
He blinked perplexedly at you. The best option was to wait for another opportunity to bring up the matter, but for now, he needed to rest. He disposed of his chest harness, and his knives, leaving them on the old and battered bedside table, where he could reach out if needed.
A smile threatened to break on his face when you turned slightly at the sound of him taking his pants off, then his long-sleeved t-shirt, discarding his clothes at the foot of the bed.
He paused, tugging the band of his black boxers with his fingers. He took them off, making things fair.
“Is that necessary?” you asked, narrowing your eyes at him as he sank under the covers with you.
“Just playing your game,” he said, tugging the hair tie loose before lying his head on the pillow next to yours.
“I’m not playing any games,” you huffed with annoyance, turning over so your back was to him once again.
There it was the ripple in the air between you and him. Jeonghan did not need to comment on it, but you hated it.
Hunter abilities or not, Jeonghan would be able to read through your lies blindfolded. He was just that good at reading people, reading you.
Jeonghan stared at the ceiling, his heartbeat going a mile per hour, like a bird’s wings batting frantically inside his chest. He swallowed hard, resisting the urge pushing him to raise his hand at you, to reach out and touch your skin.
You closed your eyes, commanding yourself to sleep. But it was nearly impossible. Jeonghan’s scent was too distracting. The hunger caved a hole deep inside you. It was no ordinary hunger, it was one that had your soul twisting.
You balled your hands into fists, sinking your face into the pillow. His lust was nearly palpable, looming over you like a monster preying on you.
However, you were too weak to actually act upon it. Soon, you fell asleep, not noticing when or how.
Jeonghan however, was too riddled with questions to do the same. He turned his head on the pillow, seeing your wet hair, your naked shoulder. His thigh throbbed in something that reminded him of pain, though his flesh was fine and did not hurt.
Why would you want to become human? What could be a good enough reason to want to abandon your life full of pleasures? It made no sense. Jeonghan had never heard of a demon becoming human, but he saw you crying, so that must mean that it could be done.
Still, it meant that there was a price to be paid. There always was.
Wandering through endless questions, Jeonghan fell asleep. Now and then he was reminded of your presence in the bed, feeling your warmth or hearing you move beneath the sheets.
Even if he were not a light sleeper, the distraction of your warmth was enough to stir him awake. He found himself entirely pressed to your body, his front to the back of yours. His nose buried in your mane of hair, an arm draped over your waist.
And he was hard. Fuck, he was so hard it was starting to become annoying. It would be so easy to slip himself inside your pussy, waking you up in the process. He had done it countless times before.
He let out a silent sigh through his nose, only getting the scent of your hair when he breathed in. Your hand found his arm parked on the curve of your waist, you were awake. Jeonghan pressed himself another inexistent inch further, his hard cock wedged on your ass.
“Jeonghan,” you mumbled sleepily, turning over to see him. You threw him an innocent look, big eyes, pouting lips. “What are you doing?”
He responded by giving you a confused look. In other times, you would not even ask questions, you would just let him take you, take whatever he wanted, for however long.
Jeonghan brought a hand to your chin, his touch igniting your skin, making you blink dumbly. “How long are you going to keep resisting it?” the words flew out of his mouth before he could even comprehend his own question.
But he knew what you were doing. He was an expert in pushing his feelings down, particularly, he knew what it felt like to resist this pull.
“However long is necessary, Jeonghan,” you replied, but your tone wavered in the urge to press yourself against his hand, to feel him.
“Why?” he asked, his eyes skirting through your reaction. He knew you wanted this, why were you refusing him?
“If I keep this for long I might get what I want,” you whispered, avoiding his eyes in utter shame.
“Why do you want to become human so desperately?” he asked again, looking at you with an obfuscation that was hard to mask.
You shrugged, keeping your sunken gaze on his chiselled chest. “That doesn’t concern you.”
Jeonghan pressed his fingers on your chin gently, tugging you so you locked your pretty eyes with his. “Does it not, really?”
Your brow furrowed, your gaze darkening. Feeling like you were being mocked, your eyes watered again. “Fuck off, Jeonghan,” you scoffed weakly, trying to free yourself from his grip.
He did not want to see it, but your reaction told him everything he needed to know. It took him some seconds to shake the perplexion off. It made no sense. “Did you think that being human would change things?”
You made no verbal reply, scoffing as you brushed his hand off you one more time.
But you knew him well enough to expect that would not work on him. He needed an answer now, and he would stop at nothing to get it now that he knew it fully concerned him.
“Did you think I would want you more if you were human?” he asked without heat in his words, his gaze reading your features over and over. “Did you think that would give you a shot at a normal thing happening between us?”
“No, Jeonghan,” you rolled your eyes, but he could see how much his questions had pierced through you. “Quite the opposite.”
He made a motion to pull his head back on the pillow as if that gave him a better frame of your face. “What?”
“I want this to stop,” you whispered, rolling over the bed to sit up with a sigh.
Jeonghan looked at your back, you let your head drop forward, sniffling softly but you were fully crying now.
“Maybe being human will make this stop,” you whispered, motioning a hand between his body and yours. By this, you meant, the out-of-the-ordinary need for him, the desperate craving that refused to let you live. Maybe then, the bond between you would not be so unbearable.
Jeonghan sat up too, trying to read any signs of your words being insincere. But he found nothing, the quiet tension falling in the room startled him, and it made him uncomfortable. Even more, the battering inside his chest was making it difficult to even breathe.
“That makes no sense,” he mumbled with a hollow tone.
“It makes perfect sense,” you bit back, throwing him a sad look.
You were weak, nearing a state that you did not comprehend. Becoming human meant that you also had to deal with human emotions, and they were flowing freely through you, giving you a taste of what you were about to face as a human.
However, making yourself human condemned you to a myriad of threats. Not just mortality. You would become a demon that betrayed its own kind. A traitor, too.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked, trying to hold your gaze to read you better.
“I want to be rid of you by whatever means necessary,” you hissed, coating your words with venom.
“Liar.”
There was a shadow of a smile on his face, and before you resorted to a crazed fit of violence, you decided to crush your mouth with his, kissing him with enough vehemence it would hurt him if he were human.
But he was tough enough to take you. He released a grunt in your mouth that was from half arousal, half annoyance at you.
“You’re a baby,” he grunted between hard kisses. “A bratty, fussy, melodramatic demon.”
“Shut up, Jeonghan,” you hissed. “Shut up or I swear–,”
“What?” he bit back, holding your face with both hands, squishing your cheeks. “What will you do, eh?”
“Don’t try me right now,” you said, kissing him repeatedly you were running out of breath.
“That’s exactly what I want to do,” he chuckled. “Did you think that making yourself human would make me stop wanting you?”
“Yes,” you hissed, pushing him back onto the bed with all the strength you had.
Jeonghan was stronger than you at that moment, but he allowed you to handle him with a triumphant smirk on his face. Nothing in existence would make him stop wanting you, damned to hell or not.
Though it made him curious to know. “Do you want to stop wanting me, then?” he leaned his head to his shoulder.
“It would be nice to stop craving you all the time,” you said, sinking your face in the crook of his neck to kiss him.
“Liar,” he grunted, holding your hips as you made a trail of kisses down his beautifully scarred chest. “Even worse, you’re a masochistic one at that.”
The guilty giggle escaping through your lips gave him all the reassurance he needed. You were now soaking up his need for you.
“Gods,” he breathed when your lips reached his hipbone. Your touch would never satiate the craving need inside him, but this night he would at least attempt to.
His fingers tangled in your hair, keeping his grip light but it would become difficult as you gave him a long lick from his ball sack to the tip of his cock. “Fuck,” he gritted, tensing as you wrapped your mouth around the bulbous head of his cock. “Yes, baby, just like that.”
The room fell silent again, but now all that surrounded you and him was lust and bliss. It had your blood revelling, sizzling beneath your skin to take him into your mouth. His fingers thread in your hair, caressing you as you bobbed your head up and down on him, sucking him off eagerly. You were tasting him, not only his skin, his arousal, but his lust. It drove you crazy.
“Gods, I fucking missed you,” he drawled, closing his eyes briefly before he lost all control. He wanted to push his hips, to drive his cock into your throat. But he also wanted to take this patiently.
You explored him with your mouth, just like your hands were exploring his body. Not that his nakedness was new to you, but you had just gone months without touching him. And not for a single second did you forget the taste of him, you also missed him.
But did he miss you the same way you did? Did he crave to hear your voice like you did his?
Your transition from demon to human was painful, and you were throwing it all away in one night. And Jeonghan was willingly letting you feed off his lust, you were relishing the taste of his greed, sucking off the last bit of the self-restraint he had in him.
His fingers curled around your hair, clenching his jaw as he moaned in pure pleasure. He let out a gasp when your tongue swirled around his cockhead. “Keep doing that, baby,” he said languidly, following the movements of your head on him.
A strangled moan bubbled in your mouth, and you followed his command, rolling your tongue around his blunt head.
Jeonghan smirked knowingly. You weakened whenever he treated you with softness, so words like baby drove you crazy. He threw a look down at his body, capturing your eyes, darkened with a lascivious greed that only fueled his. “Touch yourself,” he said with a gruff tone. “I want you to come with me.”
You sneaked a hand between your thighs, moaning salaciously when your fingers stroked your clit.
Jeonghan sighed, blinking slowly at the sight of you, thinking of your drenched pussy, your fingers coated in your arousal as you rubbed fast swirls around your clit. “That’s it, baby, just like that,” he praised, brushing your hair back with his long fingers. “You’re such a good girl for me, you don’t even know it.”
You moaned around his cock again, succumbing to a fast orgasm, your body trembled slightly.
“Coming,” he whispered, his mouth falling open as ropes of cum spurted down your throat, moaning at the sight of you drinking him off completely, licking to the last bead of his cum. You littered the reddened cockhead with sweet pecks trailing down to his shaft, eliciting a raw chuckle from him.
“That was amazing,” he whispered, enjoying the twinkle in your dark eyes upon being praised by him.
Jeonghan sat up, hooking one arm around your waist to throw you back onto the mattress. “Your turn,” he said with a wolfish grin.
You had recuperated the color in your cheeks, but you were still weak enough to fight his strength. You grunted as your head hit the pillows, but returned the smile at him. “You’ll see when I get my strength back.”
“Ooh, scary,” he said, grazing his lips on yours.
“You’ll see,” you remarked.
“Scary baby demon, what are you going to do?” he teased again, kissing the apple of your cheek, his breath caressing your ear.
“I’ll make you suffer,” you mumbled faintly, closing your eyes as his lips reached the underside of your jaw, making you tilt your head back for him.
“I want to see that,” he said mockingly. “Make me suffer.”
You sighed a moan when he kissed your throat, giving you a broad stroke with his tongue, tracing your collarbones. “Jeonghan…”
“Don’t throw another tantrum like that again,” he murmured against your skin, leaving another kiss on the plain of your breasts, before adding, “I’ll be mad at you.”
A spark of wrath got mixed along with greed and lust, it was not new to you, but it was rare.
“It wasn’t a tantrum,” you argued, though your tone was made weak by his lips, his tongue licking one of your nipples, making you arch your back.
He paused, “I don’t care,” he decided at once. “You’re not doing it again.”
“You don’t get to decide what I do, Jeonghan,” you mumbled breathily, moaning as his mouth wrapped around your nipple, suckling at it softly once, then swirling the tip of his tongue around it.
Jeonghan did not respond verbally to your obvious lie. He did not have a say in your choices, but there was a force greater than him or you that tied you to him. So every choice you made, every choice he made, was bound to affect you both.
“How’s your leg?” he asked, moving your thighs gently to slot his waist between them. His fingers traced a circle around the scar that was beginning to form.
“Better,” you sighed.
“Mmn,” he smirked at you, leaning over to kiss your lips. “Will it heal completely by the time I’m done eating you out?”
“Why, are you in a rush?” you quipped, arching an eyebrow at him.
There you were, he smirked. “I ache for you,” he whispered, letting his forehead fall upon yours. The shame coursing through him made you recoil but sensing it, he added quickly: “You have not only starved yourself but starved me with your stupid little plan.”
“You avoided me too,” you accused.
“I know, I was a fool,” he confessed, running his palms all over your body as if he could not do anything else. He sank down, leaving wet kisses down your tummy, his hands palming your breasts, his fingers lingering on your sensitive nipples.
You bit your lip, only in your most crazed fantasies did you dare to imagine him saying this. “You were,” you whispered. “The biggest fool.”
“Uh-huh,” he hummed, kissing your mound generously, his hands grabbing your thighs with the lightest of touches before licking your pussy with a broad stroke.
“Jeonghan!” you cried out, brushing his dark hair gently as he ate you out like a starved man, licking your folds thoroughly, his tongue sliding up to your clit to then suckle at it.
You arched your back, not caring about the light pain throbbing on your thigh. Jeonghan was giving you everything you needed, giving your pussy open-mouthed kisses, drinking your arousal in with pleased moans.
“Fuck-k,” you gritted weakly, letting yourself be swept away by the gentle waves of your orgasm building inside you. “I m-missed you too, Jeonghan,” you mumbled.
He raised his gaze to yours, blinking slowly at you, pressing his tongue on your swollen clit, moving it swiftly in figure-eight motions, driving you to the edge. You gripped the bedsheets with one hand, the other flying to grab at the railings of the headboard.
“I’m close,” you gasped, breathing rapidly, welcoming the pleasure barreling through your body. “I’m close, I’m–, Jeonghan…” you closed your eyes, repeating his name over and over as you climaxed in his mouth.
But Jeonghan was not stopping. He continued making out with your pussy, enjoying the taste of your arousal pooling in your entrance, licking your folds with raunchy moans. His hands held you down as you shook with the aftershocks of your orgasm, caressing your tummy languidly.
“Jeonghan,” you called, shuddering when his hand caressed your thigh as he littered it with kisses.
“See? Healed,” he placed another kiss, right where your scar used to be.
You used your newly regained strength to push him, flipping the positions over so you were now straddling him. You let out a pleased sigh, effortlessly pinning his body down on the mattress.
“I take that you’re all set now,” he smirked, his hands roving all over your thighs.
Gods, you were a sight to behold. Your wings were at full display, resting freely at your sides. Your dark horns, curving back from the crown of your head, were on sight too. That meant you were comfortable around Jeonghan. You trusted him.
“Not yet,” you said, grabbing his hardened cock in one hand, planting the other on his abdomen for support as you eased your pussy down his length.
“Fuck,” Jeonghan gritted, his hands flying to grab your hips as you started rolling them on him.
“What’s wrong, hunter?” you teased, leaning down so your face was close enough to prop kisses on his lips. “Lost your footing?”
“You got me for a second there,” he admitted with a smirk. “Didn’t think you’d recuperate your strength that quickly.”
“Mm, keep that in mind next time you kiss it better,” you said, trapping his bottom lip with your teeth, nibbling it softly.
Jeonghan moaned, your hips picking up the pace mercilessly, knowing the exact pace and motion that drove him insane. He closed his eyes, sighing out the euphoric feeling of being with you, like this, consuming each other.
“It won’t happen again. You’re not doing this to yourself again,” he said with a faint tone.
“You don’t make choices for me,” you retaliated, sinking yourself down on him with pleased sighs, planting your hands on his chiselled chest.
In a blur, Jeonghan grabbed your wrists with one hand flipping your bodies over, pinning your body with his hips on yours, his hand holding your arms above your head. Jeonghan moved his hips slightly, finding your entrance with his hard cock quite effortlessly.
Jeonghan gave a few shallow thrusts, stretching your walls, making your mouth part, giving way to a long moan. “Fuck, Jeonghan,” you groaned lewdly.
“Say it,” he hissed, rolling his hips on yours slowly, but pushing his cock inside you deeper each time he thrusted in. “You won’t do it again.”
“Fuck you,” you gritted, falling deeper into the puddle of pleasure he was slowly submitting you into.
“Say. It,” he commanded, his thrusts gaining strength, becoming harder at each motion of his hips on yours.
You wrestled his grip on your wrists, without using your full strength. “No,” you said with a hollow tone, the pace of his thrusts knocking the wind out of you.
“You fucking brat,” he spat, pressing his face on yours, giving you a hard kiss in the process. “Delusional little demon. Did you think you could get rid of me that easily?”
“Stop,” you gasped, shame heating your cheeks.
Jeonghan released his grip on your wrists, not letting you regain control by grabbing your thighs, throwing them on his shoulders before resuming with his near animalistic thrusts, groaning on your mouth as such, like an animal.
“Jeonghan!” you cried out, his cock reaching inside you deeper… and deeper.
“Did you really think… I’d stop wanting you?” he panted in between his hard thrusts, the strain in his voice telling you how close he was to his release. “I’ll never stop wanting you.”
“Jeonghan…” you moaned.
“Say it.”
“I won’t do it again,” you said, trembling on the bed, reaching out to hold him right before you came undone beneath him.
“That’s it… that’s my girl,” he gasped, his bottom lip parting, releasing a raw grunt. Jeonghan moaned your name as he came, fucking his cum inside you with sloppy thrusts until he stopped, breathing hard on top of you.
Jeonghan eased your legs from his shoulders, deciding to rest his head on your chest. The sound of your heartbeat resonated through his head as he took a long breath. Your fingers caressed his nape lazily, shuddering under him when Jeonghan ran a fingertip on one of your wings.
This made no sense. To Jeonghan, everything had been black and white. His world was rigid, surrounded by unbreakable rules that made him into the person he was until he met you. Now, he was but the shadow of the man he was. He used to hate himself for wanting you. You were the thing he was raised to hate, to kill.
He did everything to keep you away. He bedded other women, he drank himself to sleep to not dream of you, he flew himself to different parts of the world.
And there he was, blissfully nestled in your warmth, in your embrace.
“Would you hate it if I became human?”
“No,” he replied after some seconds. “But I don’t want you to do it because you think that’s going to change something between us. Some things aren’t meant to change.”
“How can you be so sure?” you asked with a tiny tone.
Jeonghan raised his head, curiously looking at you. Even back with full strength, you still clung to some human vulnerability. “I’m not sure,” he confessed. “I don’t understand many things. But I know that changing yourself won’t bring you happiness, only misery.”
“I’m just tired of this,” you said, and it did not matter that you could not cry anymore, he knew that the statement hurt to say.
Jeonghan got to his knees, pulling out of you gently to slump his body next to yours. He took one long look at you, reminiscing of what he felt when he knew you were slipping away. It was fear, that was undeniable, he was too familiar with that feeling. But never like this.
“I don’t know what to say,” he said with a light frown.
“How did you find me, Jeonghan? How did you know I was in trouble?” you dared to ask again, now your words taking another meaning.
Jeonghan paused. “I just did,” he said but rolled his eyes when you saw through his lie. “I felt something.”
“Jeonghan,” you started, your tone reducing itself to a whisper. “There is a reason why we can’t get rid of each other.”
He went rigid, his eyes coasting all over the features of your face.
“Have you ever tried to… kill me?” you asked, hating how your words came off while lying naked next to him.
“You’d know it if I had,” he said, taken aback by your questions. “Why are you asking me this?”
“There is a reason why you can’t kill me,” you said, despite how crazy you were sounding. “I know you’ve felt it…”
Jeonghan sat up on the bed, gripping the bedsheets to steady himself. He felt lightheaded. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Liar,” you whispered, sitting up next to him.
He ran his hands on his face harshly. “Stop that. This isn’t a game.”
“The last time we saw each other, you felt something,” you pressed, searching his eyes as he faced you.
“It makes no sense,” he whispered dejectedly.
It made perfect sense. The grip that you had on him was unlike anything else he had faced. Time after time he tried to run away, to put distance between you and him. He always found his way back to you somehow, either by greed, by lust or purely by fate. He never knew why, he was bound to you.
“Look at me,” you said, and his gaze found you. “There’s no point in fighting this. I know you’ve tried it before, I tried too.”
“It’s–,”
“Impossible?” you scoffed with a mocking smile.
It was a sick joke. A demon and her hunter. The lamb and the wolf, chasing each other endlessly.
“Is this why you thought becoming human was an option?”
You paused but nodded slowly after some seconds of pondering.
Jeonghan sighed, touching your forehead with his. “That’s a high price to pay,” he whispered.
He knew your next words before you uttered them, “I’m willing to pay it, Jeonghan.”
“I don’t want you to,” he gritted out his words, even if he did not understand, he could not stop fighting it any longer. “I like you the way you are.”
Demon or not, you felt something in your chest, tugging at you. “That’s not the problem,” you shifted back, looking at his confused face.
“I can’t have any ties to anyone,” he said. “Someday I’ll end up dead fighting something stronger and quicker than me.”
“After today’s events, I think it’s clear that I am chased by the same danger.”
“I’ll grow old, and slow,” he added.
“I would too, if I were human. No one would hunt me down,” you countered, not convinced by the obfuscated look on his face. “I wouldn’t have to feed from you.”
“You could die in the process,” he said, and that was the final reason he needed.
“Jeonghan–,”
“No,” he shook his head.
At that, you stopped fighting. You got out of bed, slowly picking up your torn clothes and putting them on without looking back at him.
His heart faltered, looking at you as you sat down on the edge of the bed, next to him. “Don’t go,” he mumbled.
“Give me a reason to stay.”
Jeonghan swallowed his words, taking a last look at your eyes. Something tugged at his heart, urging him to stop you. But you were slipping through the door before he could spring to action.
Fool. He was a fool.
› author's note: heyyyooooooo
once again i have nothing to say. i just need jeonghan on his knees, begging for forgiveness and mercy
anyway, stay tuned for my next hannieween fest piece!! next post will be loser hannie!! hehe
toodles!
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#lola's recs <3#you're so evil for this v#🧍♀️#i cant#believe#this#at#all#how dare you#but im not even mad#i love this story so much
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I'm actually so glad to have talked to people, who knew just being brave enough to say something was enough to get people talking atleast.
Im definitely not the most eloquent person, i just ramble on until something comprehensible comes out, but as I am very passionate when it comes to worldbuilding story and narrative, because theres just so so much about cults that goes underutilized, its history, its relationship with the state, the mysticism, the people in them, it all can tie into something much richer if you took the time to not just know more, but to understand deeply, I promise you that being curious and empathetic does wonders when it comes to storytelling, you have to care about other people to be a good storyteller. You're not being reprimanded when the people you're writing about want to educate you on these things.
And It really does nothing but harm people who may want to acknowledge the very ugly underbelly of what is, in the title, a cult and dismiss it just because you personally find it uncomfortable, Its actually very very shameful especially for the fact you have no way of knowing what the other's background is.
Take it from me, alright? Ive already said it a hundred times but the game did resonate alot with me because i grew up with a very specific brand of folk Catholicism + spirituality in a country thats already very much controlled by religion and god that ended up impacting a large part of my life. While im not gonna go into specifics, the abuse that comes from it is very very real and something i can't get rid of. Its something i hope to portray well in all my work and will talk about extensively, even in a humorous lense.
#manuscripts#i swear i had more posts in this tag... anyways#Its a little silly honestly to come into a game with cult in the title and be horrified that people will talk about the cult part of it.#well. thats all . im yammering ill probably edit this in the morning
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"Omg I can't wait for Caleb , can't wait for Childhood friend to lover troupe"
I can't stress this enough.
Guys
GUYS
Caleb is not Just a "childhood friend" troupe HE IS GEGE .
It might sounds off putting but many part of Asia we refer to acquaintance or neighbors child slight older than us "Brother"/"Sister" ,call their parents uncle and Auntie's . And it will stay that way maybe later in Life.
But that doesn't mean they are off the partner list when you grow older .
Alot of my girls I know dating guys they used to call "Vaiya" / "Dada" which means Brother ,they still slip that off sometimes.
We all know the Korean word Oppa , it's used AGEYO too . It's so much used in koreaboo section that some people finds the word outright intolerable and Cringe .
But Oppa literally means Older brother and used to refer guys/classmates Older . Yeah you can call your Boyfriend Oppa it's not abnormal regardless of how you feel about it .
Another point-
You know how You set your nickname in game like honey girlfriend etc.
Well there's one nickname you can set in English.
It's "Darling"
But yk what I noticed all the time when I write that name down and have JP voiceover on.
They don't go "Da~rin~" like how you your expect darling to sound in JP accent.
Yk what they say
"NEe - SAN"
and you know what that translates too?
OLDER SISTER .
So yeah you are making them Call you NEE SAN .
But obviously English can't localize it literally so they are writing "Darling" ( I don't have knowledge about the CN part please lmk if yk)
So yeah it may sound Icky to you but there's chances are I would end up with a guy in my work area that I perhaps called Big brother in my language in past ,and there isn't something weird about it. And it shouldn't be made into weird stuff either . It comes quite naturally ,it's not Sweet home albama it's cultural difference.
I am referred to as an older sister by many young men out of respect but it stops there . My real siblings are the ones by blood .
And for Caleb you guys have to accept that and if you do ,Stop hating on him purely for this fact .
En localization team likely knew this is hard to accept and out of comfort zone
that's why they changed to "he is childhood friend" but in voiceover she calls him Gege
GEGE
Voiceover doesn't change that ,and they don't have to because it's understandable when u are used to that happening .
Despite all those connections and links. The Dr. Zayne meeting the MC in childhood and that plays a role .
He FALLS in childhood friend to lover troupe in the literal sense .Not Caleb ,he has a different connection to her in dynamic,that involves treating each other in sibling ways .
Not everyone you call "older brother" / "older sister" you end up pinning for ,that's not what happens. But if you do as two consenting adults there's Nothing wrong WITH it .
So If it was a normal character MC was acquainted with ,then how you view her calling him Gege is Up to your interpretation,it can be anything.
But since it's an OTOME and he is most definitely gonna come back .
So yeah this time You are romancing that GEGE FOR SURREEEE
You guys aren't staying behind that title where you both will continue maintaining safe distance and took them out of the chart as if they are off limit. You are FCKING.
You can accept that , it's one of those cultural compromises
You can enjoy the En localized part if you want but actual intended interpretation should NOT make you retaliate and be defensive stating how Caleb is not that he is childhood friend troupe yada yada yada.
I saw some say Caleb is the actual Childhood friend to lovers troupe because zayne doesn't do the troupe correctly 😶
Each of the lads LIs have Uniqueness in more than one area to the point they don't stand in the same category . Zayne & Caleb is not the same category LIs either and it's not purely for sole fact "oh Caleb is different than zayne, different personalities etc" there is more difference ,troupe has DIFFERENT TITLES.
She has known him as Gege for so long y'all aren't ready for the angst of possible romance coming in between ,the self guilt ,the self restriction ... EVERYTHING.
#love and deepspace#its fay speaking#zayne#dr zayne#lads zayne#l&ds zayne#love and deep space zayne#doctor zayne#li shen#lnd zayne#Caleb#caleb love and deepspace#love and deepspace caleb
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hello :] !! i read ‘who holds the devil’ last month, it came to me when i was having a hard time in my life; when i was in a desperate need to forget everything around and ahead of me…your story did JUST THAT i was so utterly mesmerized and invested in your incredible storytelling and the absolute justice you did to complicated characters such as our yohan and gaon. i’ve read your snippets of yohan’s povs too and i really hope you write them more in the future, it’s so interesting to see his brain work and just how different his understanding of their relationship is…
i haven’t been able to stop thinking about your fic and i’ve already re read it countless times (like i kid you not i wake up every day and check if you’ve updated i’m that down bad) i just wanted to thank you for creating such a masterpiece, you’re a blessing and i hope you’re doing well 🫶🏻 i’m eagerly waiting to see what gaon and yohan has in store for them !!🫶🏻
I'm so sorry to hear that you were having a hard time, but I'm glad that my fic was able to offer you some comfort, at least. Sometimes, it really does help to have something else to focus on when things are rough. I hope things are better now, at least 💜
One of the main reasons why I even started writing this fic was because I realised that I wanted their story to continue but also that I had such a specific idea of how I wanted it to play out — and how I wanted the characters to behave — that the only way for me to get that was to write it myself. And I just love the characters so much that I couldn't help wanting to explore them and their story further, with as much detail and accuracy as possible. We were left with so many possibilities after the end of the drama! And so much trauma to unpack and heal from! I had to see how that would play out ;)
I'm glad you like Yo Han's POV 💜 Unfortunately, I'm not sure how much of his POV I'll write for that particular story since showing his thoughts kind of ruins the suspense of it all. Like, a part of the mystery is that Ga On doesn't know what Yo Han is thinking and, by extension, neither does the reader. Yo Han isn't supposed to be an easy man to read. Also, while Yo Han's POV is a lot of fun for me to write, it also makes me nervous. Because he's a lot of people's favourite character and my interpretation of what his thoughts and actions are like might not align with their ideas. Which is totally fine! We can all have different opinions. But some people can get pretty heated if he's not written in a way they approve of, or if he's portrayed in a way they don't think is flattering enough. So it's just less drama for me if I don't write Yo Han's POV too often xD
But I agree that it's very interesting! He does view their relationship quite differently and, just like Ga On, he has a lot of struggles and things he's feeling insecure about (especially right now considering everything that's happened). His doubts are just not as apparent since we don't see his thoughts. But trust me when I say that he has a lot of thoughts.
I almost feel like I should apologise. I swear I'm not trying to make you all so addicted to this fic, it just seems to happen x'D But I am of course delighted to hear that you're enjoying it! And I'm very grateful that you took the time to tell me. It means a lot 💜
I'm not doing the best, unfortunately, but I'm hanging in there. And I'm hoping to be able to write some on chapter 42 this coming weekend, in between all the household chores I have to get done. We'll see how it goes!
Please take care and thank you so much for the lovely compliments! 💜
#Amethystina Replies#jyrkive#To be entirely honest#I'm frustrated by how much I want to write#But can't seem to do it#I am DYING to get further in this story#But I've been struggling a lot with fevers and exhaustion lately#And I just can't write as well in that state#But here's to hoping that this weekend will be better#Or maybe I'll just force myself to write regardless#Because there's so much good stuff coming up
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Happy Anniversary In Stars and Time!! Have some Friend Quest based drawings :D
(These have specific quote picks related to them! And there's also a long ramble on why I like those specific quotes below if interested)
(And by long, I mean roughly 2k+ words of proper ramble total, so be warned before clicking keep reading this link right here to the rb!!)
#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#<- edited now this is just act 3 spoilers for the art LMAO#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#<- i promise this is the last time in a long long time i tag someone who only shows up with their back turned#but in my defense they also are here four times so i think the tag is justified SADASFA#time for a messier secondary post underneath the first WAHOOOO#to start!! random art tidbits!! no one is looking at siffrin in these!!#mira and isa are looking away while odile and bonnie have their eyes closed#in my minds eye these are the A4 versions of the FQ so siffrin internally is Not Having A Good Time#i just thought itd be fun to incorporate somehow as an extra easter egg detail kinda!#also i tried to make the bgs mildly accurate to location in game and its the reason why isa got to have one (1) singular tree in the bg#laaast art tidbit is that i took a bit of a creative liberty with bonnies#well i did with all of them but still#since its not explicitly stated sif god up immediately after tripping they get to stay on the floor in the drawing#i just thought itd be fun for the drawing!!#moving onto general tidbits in addition to the time fun fact i also decided the posting time#specifically so itd be in the middle of me having back to back to back meetings so can't second guess myself in posting this HAHA#every time i post any form of text based ramble on characters or even headcanons i Fear#and YEAH i am probably just being overly nitpicky towards myself on analysis that can prob be read several diff ways cuz interpretation#but i really really really dont want to fumble so badly to the point of mischaracterizing anyone since i like them a lot!!#still working on getting over that but hey at least i am trying and thats all i can ask of myself i think!#okay now time to Lie Down im writing these tags after stream#tag talk over into q u go :]#partial pin
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Had the extremely upsetting experience of a mutual of like 6 years going off on me for occasionally making posts about supporting Harris because apparently that makes me a g n cide denier who refuses to learn and grow, with all of my views just being assumed not even from what I've told them I believe or what I've posted before, but just because I DON'T post particularly the kind of things they THINK I should be. When I pointed out how much they were just completely assuming about stuff I'd never talked to them about, I was told it doesn't matter what I do in real life or "care" about if I simply disagree with their conclusion and vote for her anyway. Like they were absolutely not sorry for the level of maliciousness they not just assumed of my character, but for some reason thought appropriate to bring directly to me before unfollowing me. No apology whatsoever for how discomforting or upsetting that might be and certainly no acknowledgment that I could disagree with them and still be a good person. I just got another even longer rant about how they fundamentally can't fuck with me because of this one thing, no matter WHAT else I do in my real life (which I pointed out that they do not know), and how I'm directly supporting fascism.
Like seriously what is it about Tumblr that makes people think they know someone based off of occasional posts? There were just such DEEP assumptions they were making of me and going off of very little or absolutely nothing. Around the time I first became mutuals with that person I used to express my personality and beliefs and talk about what was going on in my life a lot more openly, but I've significantly scaled back on doing that in many ways for many reasons. One of my major ones is privacy and the way I've had strangers outside my followers and following circles just find random things I say and dogpile me for it. I was fundamentally changed after some T Fs did that to me like 3 years ago. I also just didn't have many conversations w that person anymore (I message people in general on here like 10x less than I did circa 2018-2019, which I'm somewhat sorry about!). My point is to say I think this person felt comfortable assuming that they knew me, especially who I am in 2024 at the age of 25, much better than they actually did.
One of the specific things they accused me of was being afraid of learning and growing (because I don't perform social media activism on here like they think I should). Like AFRAID to take criticism. When again I've never received criticism from them or had to respond to any criticism on here before as pertaining to my views on... well, absolutely any of the issues they accused me of not caring about. They essentially treated it as if the only thing in the world I cared about was the US election and characterized me as the most out-of-touch liberal they could possibly imagine, because I'm not "pushing" Kamala Harris to be better (Oh?? Should I do that on here?? Does she read my blog??).
And most hypocritically what they said was that I only *sometimes* *vaguely* post pro-Harris things (I often post like 5 or fewer things in a day though?). But here's the kicker. "Because I know I'll get shit for it. And rightfully so."
Really????? Not a single person, anon or not, in my messages or in a tagged post or anything, has ever given me shit before for saying who I'm voting for. I'm actually NOT afraid of "getting shit" for that opinion, I just don't start fights with people who are anti-voting. And why should I??? I genuinely don't believe in trying to change the minds of strangers on the internet about that sort of thing. I'm just not confrontational about it; that is so not the same thing as being "afraid of getting shit." I'm not posting ENOUGH about my support for Harris, therefore I'm afraid. But therefore they can also make all these assumptions about me being their strawman for an ignorant Harris supporter.
I'm afraid of getting shit but I still post anyway? But if I weren't afraid of getting shit I'd be posting a lot more?? This is ALL based on their assumptions of what my blog *should* look like, based on what I really and truly believe. My level of posting every now and then is an accurate gauge of my feelings on complex, sensitive, global issues. Because I'm voting for the Democratic presidential candidate and I'm ok sharing pretty much just that little glimpse of myself.
I really don't think that person knows just how inappropriate and insulting that is to just say all of that to me. Like they really know what's going on in my head. Their first message began and ended with like "I'm sorry I love you I just can't take it anymore" but they clearly weren't sorry enough to try and be more respectful to me, and they didn't love me enough not to default to extremely ungenerous assumptions and attacking me based off of those instead of any actual words I've said that they take issue with.
Online radicalization is real and it's not necessarily bad because your political views can start to fall well out of the contemporary Overton window. The way you find it appropriate to treat people whose views, however common, seem to fundamentally misalign with yours... that does matter. You can't just assume the worst of everyone and then act on that in how you approach them as individuals. And then be shocked that you don't stay friends with them. You can't be confrontational with someone about an issue you've never had an honest conversation about, and then expect them to take your bad faith in them as reasonable well-meaning criticism.
I'm afraid of criticism??? I'm afraid of criticism. No I'm not. This person and I have never had an issue before where they criticized me and I got harshly defensive. It was ALL projection. The entire tone of their messages was as if all their anti-voting posts recently were somehow in communication with the occasional go-vote-for-Harris posts that I make. That's not a conversation. I don't post for your satisfaction. I don't post in "response" to my mutuals I disagree with. I just post what's on my mind, sometimes, about some things. I really again can't stress enough how baffled I am by this
#tales from diana#long post#this is not really a post about voting this is a post about online etiquette#i also remember that this person at one point when we were teenagers had a crush on me#so they might have somewhat idealized me or maybe just had respect for the good times#good conversations we had over the years etc#i still held them in regard even though some of their anti-voting posts i took serious issue w#again i really don't care to argue w ppl against voting bc really i mainly only disagree w that one conclusion#the systemic critiques that were made in those posts i don't think make them bad ppl#i sympathize w why someone might think that way#i just cannot pretend that i think nothing changes if we have dt as president again#i can't act as if im not anxious at the state of the world we're in where we're seriously at risk of that#i don't have that same level of concern about harris. i don't. i don't think theyre the same#i think they diverge in so many meaningful ways but im usually not writing detailed long thoughtful posts about it#do i have to??? for TUMBLR?? id rather not...#but i don't wish to be confronted as if these are nuances i MUST not hold in my opinion#can't stress enough they were basically calling me a g n cide denier like that's just a cool ok thing to do#i have literally never made a post about ppl not voting for harris bc of the war in gaza#i specifically haven't not because im 'afraid' but bc i don't believe in comparing those 2 things#there was gonna be a presidential election this year anyway and there does not have to be this war#if u think dems aren't doing well enough on the war for u to vote for them. i can't argue w u#but i was always going to vote anyway#again im afraid of getting shit?? ONLY this person has EVER given me shit until now#im not pushing harris enough? how tf do u know that? bc im not reblogging ill-informed posts from ppl like u?#im not PUSHING this woman running for president enough bc im not writing critical posts she and her advisers will never see#about how im threatening to withhold my vote from them. something id never honestly do considering the opposition#they kept stressing to me to about how they weren't a trump supporter when *i* never said as much to them#i do agree that not voting for harris 'supports' trump in that it benefits him overall#but i don't attack ppl who just aren't voting in that way. ok?#damn i hate being on the defensive like this
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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... it's just hit me that lister describes the bathroom kiss as assault and even when jimmy reassures him that he doesn't see it that way and doesn't have a problem with it, lister refuses to accept that it was anything other than objectively assault
while two days earlier jimmy insisted that a 32-yr-old having sex with lister at age 16 was wrong, despite lister not seeing it that way and not having a problem with it
does that mean that lister took that conversation on board but only as far as "the person on the receiving end of an advance can't accurately assess whether or not it was wrong" and is now equating himself to the woman that took advantage of him . because i will weep
#i am conflicted about the bathroom kiss to an extent#because on the one hand . do not kiss someone without asking dude wtf#but also . the difference in jimmy's response to it compared to the magnet situation which is? relatively similar#w magnet he was 'this is fine'ing his whole way through it and forcing himself to be ok with it and would've likely kept going if—#— lister hadn't interrupted it#whereas in the bathroom he is in an objectively worse mental state & more consistently dissociative despite being sober . yet he actively—#— considers it and almost goes along with it before deciding for Both his and lister's sakes not to#and i think his clarity & consideration there as well as the fact he felt Safe to pull away is meaningful to an extent#because it's one of the only situations this week where he's actually felt & acted on a sense of control over what happens to him#+ lister's immediate reaction being to back off and recognise his being at fault and never once holding it against jimmy#like again . should not have happened do not kiss ppl without asking#but i do find myself viewing it in a very different light to the v comparable magnet situation#anygay i am rambling in tags again when i should be asleep but still#i worry that lister is now viewing himself in the same light as jimmy views the ppl that took advantage of lister#but i Also worry that he is viewing himself as Worse than those ppl bc he can't/won't accept that he was taken advantage of#i do also now kind of want to write a Lister In Therapy oneshot partly just for the catharsis of imagining that boy getting some gd therapy#iwbftreread
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Desperate need to make Mariette Breton versus knowledge of French revolution's general stance towards minoritized languages* FIGHT
* - this is probably an insufficient term for the language dynamics of the period but I digress
#^ incomprehensible post sorry#i'm waaay overcompressing all of these dynamics i just. she should have been speaking breton#but also. well. okay whatever i should go read more histories of the french revolution and the idea of the state language before i start#making claims that i can't prove#she should not have been speaking english though wtf. also the olive trees......hornblowerseries why.........#going to write a fic to complement my ferrol one in which she's stuck in the middle of a whole bunch of actual period dynamics#i like her though she's cool. she and hornblower should not have kissed but they should have joined together for the republican cause#perce rambles#percy yells at cecil scott#breton mariette saga
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not even gonna tag this properly bc i don't wanna get Involved but i do have some Thoughts i need to get out into the void so here we go
(aaa quick edit: CW for mention/discussion of Boothill leaks)
#today's gone Badly and i'm upset but instead of venting abt it i'm gonna channel that energy into doing a bit of tag rambling abt Boothill#well. less abt Him and more abt uh. self-analyzing my anxiety surrounding contributing to fandoms. he's just today's catalyst#like. i know it's mostly a me thing. i'm hypersensitive to criticism and very conflict avoidant + socially anxious + perfectionistic etc.#so I'm the one that keeps myself from posting more stuff out of fear of being criticized or called-out for what i've made#bc inevitably Someone's gonna see it and think its OOC or a problematic take or they'll misread my intent. etc etc what have you#but like. that's inevitable. there's no way to communicate every single thing with all of the nuance required to avoid misunderstandings#and other times it's not a misunderstanding it's just a difference of opinions and that's Fine!! there's no accounting for personal taste#there's no accounting for several things actually. taste‚ bias‚ lore-knowledge‚ differing levels of chronic-online-ness‚ etc#so this isn't me complaining abt the state of fandom culture (although i do think. sometimes. ppl take shit a bit too seriously)#but anyways all of this is mostly just anxiety-fueled. it's not like i very often actually even receive negative feedback or anything#if anything ppl tend to tell me that i'm overthinking it and killing my own fun and worried that my stuff is more OOC than it is#which like. yeah. Yeah u right :) but that's just the way that i am! always losing the idgaf war i suppose#anyways what's Boothill got to do w this ur wondering. well. i've been thinking abt the quickly emerging concept that he's illiterate.#and it just. has me feeling a lot of ways. and watching ppl disagree over it has me feeling some Bad ways. bc it's def a loaded topic!#if you'll pardon the pun there. and i don't rlly have anything new to add other than that i'm conflicted abt it.#like yeah i saw the leaks days ago. of him mentioning 'not hitting the books' much as a child when we ask him why he sends voice messages#or voice Transcriptions ig. ykwim. and like. *braces for impact* ...i liked it? like. it doesn't feel right to call it endearing#i'm not trying to infantilize him. ok that's not the right word either but ugh. you know? what i mean?? who am i kidding even i don't know#it's not quite right to say that it feels like Representation either. but it's something close i guess#as a southern person myself who didn't receive a 'complete' education due to factors that weren't to do with my intelligence#the concept of seeing him as a capable force to be reckoned with and respected who also happens to have not received much formal education#i like that. i do. but there's so many issues w it at the same time. like. as i said‚ being southern myself has me Wary of the way Hoyo is-#writing him. as well as of the way that the fandom is taking the bits of his lore and running away w them. and i'm Very aware of how ppl-#will see a southern character and be All Too Eager to agree that they're lacking intelligence based on our Redneck™ stereotype#sigh. and before we even go too far with this. it's not even confirmed that hes completely illiterate. which is a valid criticism i've seen#there's Multiple reasons that could make him prefer voice to text. but regardless. i'm just worried that ppl will misconstrue my intentions#like. example: that edit i made the other day of him saying 'no thanks i can't read'. wasn't me playing into the stereotype of-#'haha dumb country boy can't read!' it was. in my eyes. something he'd say as a joke to make light of a potential insecurity#like. i think there's far more depth to Boothill's character if ppl could look past the surface. and i dont wanna contribute to the problem#but sometimes ppl Will have stereotypical traits and i wish the same could apply to characters as long as it's done Thoughtfully.
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