#And I have A LOT of anxiety
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I really wanna get that stuffed animal with an actual heartbeat thing so I won’t miss my man as much
#shifting#shiftingwithmars#marsshifts#I really want one#they’re supposed to relieve anxiety as well#And I have A LOT of anxiety
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
so right now a whole ass chunk of chile is burning down and it is really Fucking Bad. it hit and spreaded so fast im like. 90%!!!!! of the jardín botánico de viña del mar burned down in one night. four in ground workers died. i am absolutely heartbroken for them and the treasure in biodiversity gone. and thats just 4 out of +100? lives lost in this chaos, that is still ongoing.
because of this, i will be splitting my patreon income evenly between care for gaza and techo chile, for the foreseable future. donate if can you can! it would really make a difference
#i have lots of family members that live there but they are mostly ok thank god#but make no mistake. entire neighborhoods burned down#la quinta región looks like it was bombed. comparisons to 27f are being made#anyway!! i am about to withdrawn the monis i am a ball of anxiety etc
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
Not a moment of rest.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#low key vent art but im doing better now :D#i started my post graduate and the week was just kinda A Lot#i rly need to open comms but anxiety nghngh#anw#akechi having a bad time always helps me cope I'm so sorry akechi
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
Why did no one tell me that Dracula was a fucking COMEDY.
The book opens up with Jonathan experiencing a paprika overload. Dracula pretends to be the coachman and drives Jonathan around in circles until he decides he's established enough of a dramatic atmosphere. By day three in the castle Jonathan has picked up that there are no servants and Dracula is secretly doing all the chores, including driving him there. The first time Jonathan tries to shave, the count barges into the room, yeets his mirror out the window, refuses to elaborate and leaves. Jonathan also notices that he is a prisoner in the castle but doesn't dare to bring it up, which... is a mood, but also hilarious. A week into his stay he sees his employer/kidnapper crawling facedown out a wall
#dracula#dracula daily#jonathan harker#to be fair it might sound like i am mocking him but#i have social anxiety i think i would have reacted exactly the same to quite a lot of stuff#but from a reader's perspective this book is so funny#nym's posts
8K notes
·
View notes
Text
I think it would be nice to have the option to hide numbers on ao3. Make it where the 'kudos' and 'hits' number is author-viewable only, have an alternate option for when a list is sorted by such so people can read things based off their tags and preferences rather than see big number go brrrr
I speak as someone with popular fics, it doesn't have to be a requirement but like, an option? This could go for other websites too, tumblr notes and the like
#sara shush#just thoughts#i think putting numbers on our creations and posts and basically anything we put online ever has done damage#and most people default to the anxieties that their stuff isnt good enough#but getting a lot of numbers is just as damaging#you want it until you have it and then you have crippling anxiety and burnout and fears because you get stalked and dehumanized#i have a lot of thoughts and feelings#anyway#dont put each other down on this post i will block snipe. everyone be understanding and nice to each other asap
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
time for my oddly specific dni that is a joke and not real. ofc tag how many apply to you. dni if you:
like ranch dressing
think you “Get” the movie inception
are an only child
were/are into supernatural AND sherlock but NOT doctor who
were born after st patricks day 2002
dont like fruit or vegetables
took german in high school
have happily married parents
have a strong preference for the xbox over other consoles
have a name that was one of the top 100 in your country the year you were born
have or want more than two dogs
are a libra
are against writing/highlighting in books (like morally against it, even other people doing it in books that arent yours and have nothing to do with you)
have never worked customer service
like thunderstorms
are a man who works in tech
dont remember your dreams
dont have a favorite color
regularly wear jeans to bed
look good in hats
#i have a lot of anxiety so again i must stress this is jokes#many of these things apply to some of my dearest friends#a few of them apply to me. its whatever#ok to rb
20K notes
·
View notes
Text
#lmao#for anyone who's curious the process went:#send ask to aita official#blog blows up#someone realizes its a chexer fic#i follow them bc they seem cool#i join their rvb server#their encouragement pushes me to finish the Actual Fic i was working on#i expand the fic to be more of a whole au after it comes out much better than expected#the next fic in the au that i work on has to do with a character's brain injury#this leads me to do research into brain injuries#''......huh. this sounds. a lot like the neurological symptoms that my doctors have been saying is just part of my anxiety disorder''#think on that for a while#go to the ER for unrelated reasons#remember my theory#bring it up to the doctor#Doctor Immediate Concern#doctors orders a ct scan#''eeyup! that there's some atrophying and a chiari malformation! y'ever had a head injury''#(i had had several)#''well! shit! time to refer you to neurosurgery :) see if we cant do somethin about all that memory loss and severe pain and shit''#and now we are here#it also lead me to research osddid systems for the first fic#and now my therapist is having me tested for osdd because i did not know that those symptoms were not a thing everyone experiences#so like. thanks for helping me meet friends who could encourage me to engage with the things i like + learn more about myself#^ ^ <3#im actually not gonna say ''ok last update fr this time'' bc idfk maybe something WOULD be funny to post on here
6K notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a00929c8561a6123acb5e3d55ee8fdb7/67814018b83f0466-c4/s540x810/4644e2c12cfcc636764cbe4aac37de5dba800301.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e6e5130e89a0e010d4b6f251baade362/67814018b83f0466-82/s540x810/3f6e93a1b4eae31578761ae8ef5e50278632740d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9391612836f8064fef9b7251bb0c18db/67814018b83f0466-e4/s540x810/7168b53d315f0fc3346941b633c6799ba1940c70.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ecd82138510eadf78b9d574b7938f815/67814018b83f0466-8c/s540x810/3c1c6363ec4eb1d0111eb70e6e03a9e0418b2458.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/23590971b7a5949b5fd0bdb7c356a980/67814018b83f0466-94/s540x810/df2723fb251f176e6786e537f613085447449133.jpg)
(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:
Your honor the horses are now lesbians
(Anyways here’s the designs)
#mlp#based off my mlp redesigns (no i will not be taking criticism)#mlp redesign#fluttershy is now a giant jacked carnivorous shire horse with anxiety#rarity is a trans queen and she’s carrying the plot on her back#applejack’s been bequeethed the oldest child syndrome after the traumatic death of her parents and learned to do taxes at the tender age of#13?? how do horses age#and rainbow dash is both loved and reviled by her pegasi foundry because she has ‘too much gryphon in her’#(but she FAST AS FUC BOI.)#anyways pinky’s my favorite. we don’t know whats up with pinky but she smiles a lot and the world distorts around her at exactly 1014 am.#twilight is celestia’s favored pupil prophet and is trying her best to figure out what the hell is up with pinkie and failing spectacularly#twilight also hatched a dragon from an inert stone and people have opinions about that#mostly ‘what are you feeding her’#(holds rarity and applejack) i think they’re neat together#they bond over growing up too quickly and have a vi-caitlynn thing goin on#(squints) didnt draw the cute mark crusaders but they’d be like. the batmen of the town. and it was fun and games until twilight heard#and gave them ACTUAL weapons#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#twilight sparkle#fluttershy#pinkie pie#spike the dragon#I FORGOT SPIKE#spike’s a stone dragon that hatched from a stone egg. he is not meant to exist. he’s an elderitch horror and a baby boy and we love#and cherish his adorable little face#art#critdraws#Rest your Weary Hooves in our New Found Home
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Have you seen my little lad?
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jin zixun#Everytime I have to write his name I feel like I'm running outside in a blood rain trying not to get wet. Misspelling it feels so inevitabl#But so far so good! He doesn't have too many more appearances before he gets Cheesed.#Dear god I love it when characters go on the war path for someone they care about.#And I love it even more when you have an ambiguity between personal debt and genuine act of selflessness.#WWX saving WN is purposefully messy! Like a lot of our real life reasons for how we act - there isn't a clear single cause or answer.#Sometimes we forget that we are a collection of experiences and learnt reactions.#Sometimes we forget that what we see on the surface is not the point to address. Everyone is more complex than we think. Even yourself.#And yet...it always comes back to love doesn't it? Attachment styles and self-esteem and bonds and relationships to others.#Everything comes back to love and our perceptions of it.#WWX is on a self-destructive war path and he will absorb as much damage as he can for those he feels obligated and attached to.#Does it make him feel needed? Does it give him purpose? Does it ease anxieties of the past? I do not think there is an answer.
952 notes
·
View notes
Text
get your tickets to the Rat Race
#drawtectives#drawtectives fanart#drawtectives rose#gyorik rogdul#grendan highforge#drawfee#kit draws#saw julia's latest promo art and i was like AAA-#i had a lot of fun recreating the midnight alley typeset!! but it made me miss making vectors in illustrator#csp vectoring isn't the same#first post was a neat study in how julia chooses colors#if i didn't have severe social anxiety i would be the no 1 drawtectives hypeman#next tuesday guys!!!!! AAAAAA
890 notes
·
View notes
Text
To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately
#disability#currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it#people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
post-canon siffrin design!!!! might change it up more of course but!!!! yeah!!!!
he does HAVE something to represent odile and bonnie too,,, it's not just his partners (romantic & queerplatonic), he's got his family too, i just don't know where to put them yet :) so for now assume he is carrying them in his multitude of pockets!!
#paper craft#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#isat siffrin#isat fanart#isat spoilers#spoilers#yknow!!! jic!!! i mean it's post-canon so not really but i mean...#anyways i'm nervous posting thi one but i wanna try n post my arts anyways so o7!!!!!#it... is to be determined if i'll draw this design a whole lot bc i am anxiety : ) but!! this is a lil design in my hea.d....#also siffrin does wear His bonding earring (the simple star stud) but wear's loop and isa's on his belt bc he doesn't actually like earring#in his ears* BC LIKE... IDK. THE AUTISM. but he likes the symbolism of it all so he'll still keep their bonding earring and have his gay li#stud <3#aaaaalso fun fact his lil without-cloak design is so painfully reminescent of my dnd character;s designs :)#bc i project onto both#and they're both rogues#teehee!!!
883 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/26f22f5bcfbe594bc72b1b50c2bd4836/daf8bc37350ed050-8c/s540x810/e75cc3732cdb268f4d9d3c930c48a188c2d5b762.jpg)
”—ah. seems like mother goose has been playing around in your egg salad. if you won’t dance to that tune, I got others.”
honestly, the would you kindly scene is whatever to me*, code yellow is the more interesting violation/betrayal of the body because of how beautifully it escalates the Fontaine reveal/betrayal and shows how ugly some of those ‘locks and keys’ that Tenenbaum mentions are. not only have you been a tool in another man’s hand this entire time, it goes deeper. your body is not your own.
*there used to be a meandering thought here about the would you kindly scene, but it was really just talking around the fact that I spent way too many years seeing people discuss it in the most insufferable and reductive ways possible when it’s a combination of three or four other things that make that moment compelling lmao
collage credits: heart one/heart two
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#bioshock#honestly if Fontaine was upfront about wanting Ryan dead I’d have done it after ten minutes of walking around Rapture#I have (squints) somehow two ideas about suchong I want to get out. one more abt atlas and manipulation#there’s a specific kind of family adjacent horror occurring in the text and it’s WILD that suchong is the one we hear Jack refer to#in familial terms while two other men force themselves onto you by appropriating the father role over your body :)#to be clear tho I don’t actually think Fontaine had any familial sentiments towards Jack he’s just occupying Ryan’s space now#WHEEZING can you tell that I think every ‘wow a man chooses/a slave obeys is so deep!’ think piece is stupid as hell#thankfully it’s not as prevalent as it was a decade ago but my god people thought it was the height of philosophy for too long#ANYWAY ALL OF THIS TO SAY. there’s a certain kind of trans anxiety/horror in having your body betray you. or generally body#anxiety. but I read a lot about it in a medieval gender context so it’s trans to me. amongst other things.
437 notes
·
View notes
Text
I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
611 notes
·
View notes
Text
Twitter shouldn't be the only one to see the video version of this
I was waiting for Tumblr to be grumpy about the size so it's really just the Loop talk
#isat#isat spoilers#act 6 spoilers#in stars and time#I'm main tagging this oh god#isat siffrin#isat loop#isat shitpost#isat au#I'd say “isat mod” but that's a ton of planning for me alone#also I'm extremely self-conscious about everything when I'm not extremely curious about something#like this thing is giving me anxiety from how it's literally just an add to the game with Loop in it#because again. those sprites make me think a lot and this is exactly what I was thinking#(not quite but I struggled with Act 6 2hats map and it won( )#I really want to try more though#for research purposes#I love how isat is written - coding wise - I just look at it and go IT'S SO INTERESTING and just learn how did one lead to another and stuf#it's like how I was with undertale back in 2017 BUT I never learned how to open undertale or see the code aside from saves#and learning how to manipulate them was so fun!#sadly isat saves are written differently so I can't do that manually#but I DO have like 7 Act 6 saves#anyway a fun fact - this save is actually pre-2hats battle I checked at the end but cut that out#so basically in this scenario there are two Loops at once! what a miracle!#but honestly Loop is literally based on how Head Housemaiden is written I checked Isa's dialogues to check where did I make a mistake#and basically all other stuff was me dealing with editing sprites bc Loop has only a walk cycle and this one has all sprites to rotate#anyway! that's that!#video#human loop#also Siffrin faces are so much fun to choose from I love them
157 notes
·
View notes