#And I have A LOT of anxiety
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I really wanna get that stuffed animal with an actual heartbeat thing so I won’t miss my man as much
#shifting#shiftingwithmars#marsshifts#I really want one#they’re supposed to relieve anxiety as well#And I have A LOT of anxiety
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Why did no one tell me that Dracula was a fucking COMEDY.
The book opens up with Jonathan experiencing a paprika overload. Dracula pretends to be the coachman and drives Jonathan around in circles until he decides he's established enough of a dramatic atmosphere. By day three in the castle Jonathan has picked up that there are no servants and Dracula is secretly doing all the chores, including driving him there. The first time Jonathan tries to shave, the count barges into the room, yeets his mirror out the window, refuses to elaborate and leaves. Jonathan also notices that he is a prisoner in the castle but doesn't dare to bring it up, which... is a mood, but also hilarious. A week into his stay he sees his employer/kidnapper crawling facedown out a wall
#dracula#dracula daily#jonathan harker#to be fair it might sound like i am mocking him but#i have social anxiety i think i would have reacted exactly the same to quite a lot of stuff#but from a reader's perspective this book is so funny#nym's posts
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I think it would be nice to have the option to hide numbers on ao3. Make it where the 'kudos' and 'hits' number is author-viewable only, have an alternate option for when a list is sorted by such so people can read things based off their tags and preferences rather than see big number go brrrr
I speak as someone with popular fics, it doesn't have to be a requirement but like, as an option? This could go for other websites too, tumblr notes and the like.
#sara shush#just thoughts#i think putting numbers on our creations and posts and basically anything we put online ever has done damage#and most people default to the anxieties that their stuff isnt good enough#but getting a lot of numbers is just as damaging#you want it until you have it and then you have crippling anxiety and burnout and fears because you get stalked and dehumanized#i have a lot of thoughts and feelings#anyway#dont put each other down on this post i will block snipe. everyone be understanding and nice to each other asap
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so right now a whole ass chunk of chile is burning down and it is really Fucking Bad. it hit and spreaded so fast im like. 90%!!!!! of the jardín botánico de viña del mar burned down in one night. four in ground workers died. i am absolutely heartbroken for them and the treasure in biodiversity gone. and thats just 4 out of +100? lives lost in this chaos, that is still ongoing.
because of this, i will be splitting my patreon income evenly between care for gaza and techo chile, for the foreseable future. donate if can you can! it would really make a difference
#i have lots of family members that live there but they are mostly ok thank god#but make no mistake. entire neighborhoods burned down#la quinta región looks like it was bombed. comparisons to 27f are being made#anyway!! i am about to withdrawn the monis i am a ball of anxiety etc
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Not a moment of rest.
#my art#goro akechi#persona 5#shuake#p5r#ren amamiya#persona 5 royal#akeshu#low key vent art but im doing better now :D#i started my post graduate and the week was just kinda A Lot#i rly need to open comms but anxiety nghngh#anw#akechi having a bad time always helps me cope I'm so sorry akechi
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time for my oddly specific dni that is a joke and not real. ofc tag how many apply to you. dni if you:
like ranch dressing
think you “Get” the movie inception
are an only child
were/are into supernatural AND sherlock but NOT doctor who
were born after st patricks day 2002
dont like fruit or vegetables
took german in high school
have happily married parents
have a strong preference for the xbox over other consoles
have a name that was one of the top 100 in your country the year you were born
have or want more than two dogs
are a libra
are against writing/highlighting in books (like morally against it, even other people doing it in books that arent yours and have nothing to do with you)
have never worked customer service
like thunderstorms
are a man who works in tech
dont remember your dreams
dont have a favorite color
regularly wear jeans to bed
look good in hats
#i have a lot of anxiety so again i must stress this is jokes#many of these things apply to some of my dearest friends#a few of them apply to me. its whatever#ok to rb
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drew some of my fav ody designs! wasnt originally meant to be also replicating the styles but thats sort of just how my brain works. except i didnt copy the lineart styles of anyone here so its DEFINITELY a bit uncanny for a couple of these (LOOKING AT YOU QINNY IM SO SORRY) but whatever
the designs featured here (from left to right) belong to: me, @gigizetz, @neal-illustrator, @irunaki, @bigidiotenergytm, @qinnyanimation, and @foopsie-daisy
#WAUGHHH IM SO NERVOUS TAGGING PEOPLE COOLER THAN ME#HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS I NEED TO STOP PANICKING OVER STUFF LIKE THIS#bc like I KNOW THEYRE JUST PEOPLE. I WOULD BE SO HYPE IF SOMEONE DREW MY ODY ID LOVE TO BE TAGGED IN THAT.#BUT WHAT IF I AM SHOT. WITH A GUN. gfrdfvb vfrdedrf#i am a very normal non anxiety having person i swear guys#worst thing i did here was have odys hands very visible for the qinny one. because i didnt realize the way they draw hands is very realisti#BUT THEIR WHOLE STYLE HAS REALLY REALISTIC ANATOMY I SHOULVE KNOWN#irunakis style is SO fun to draw in bc its a lot like some of my older art so its very familiar yk yk i wasnt worrying too much about makin#-things accurate. but i think that accidentally made me too comfortable and so i ended up straying a bit too much#i think a lot of irunaki and qinnys styles specifically is in the lineart. so me using my normal style of lines makes them less recognizabl#anyways. neals odysseus i have shit talked in private (its a good design it just feels uncanny w/ jorges voice to me) but hes really-#-interesting to draw. i wanna do style studies on neal their characters have a very. idk animated feels like the wrong word but like.#something like animated. feeling to them. theyre very distinct in shape i wanna do studies thats it#bigidiotenergy i found this morning while FINALLY looking at cloudysseus art and instantly fell in love w their design#i need to ruffle his hair. hes so silly. absolutely incredible design. but GOD was the style a nightmare#it was too late id already comitted to trying to replicate the styles. but ohhh my god its so far from my own it was so hard#theres so much detail in places i dont normally put any at all#and its like. WAUGH its scary i need to do anatomy studies in general maybe#uhh havent commented on the gigi one. he was really easy to draw though lol. weirdly enough gigis style was close enough to my current one-#-that i didnt have any trouble whatsoever? and i think its the most accurate too but only because of the lineart styles being similar lol#ALSO NOT TO PLAY FAVORITES BUT FOOP ODYSSEUS IS MY FAVORITE#I LOVE HIMMM I LOVE HIS SILLY SHAPES HE LOOKS LIKE A WEIRD CAT KINDA. HE INTRIGUES ME.#my ody feels kinda lame next to all these guys gbfdefgbf#but oh well. hes ingrained into my mind now i cant change him at this point /silly i am actually happy w him but i might make changes#thaats thoughts on all of the odys here. anyways art tags time#doodles#odysseus#epic the musical#OH MY GOD EDIT I FORGOT TO DRAW FOOP ODYS SHOES. HEAD IN HANDS. IM SO SORRY
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(I point. Gently, in the voice of somebody who’s mind touched by the outer gods, i whisper truth in your ears:
Your honor the horses are now lesbians
(Anyways here’s the designs)
#mlp#based off my mlp redesigns (no i will not be taking criticism)#mlp redesign#fluttershy is now a giant jacked carnivorous shire horse with anxiety#rarity is a trans queen and she’s carrying the plot on her back#applejack’s been bequeethed the oldest child syndrome after the traumatic death of her parents and learned to do taxes at the tender age of#13?? how do horses age#and rainbow dash is both loved and reviled by her pegasi foundry because she has ‘too much gryphon in her’#(but she FAST AS FUC BOI.)#anyways pinky’s my favorite. we don’t know whats up with pinky but she smiles a lot and the world distorts around her at exactly 1014 am.#twilight is celestia’s favored pupil prophet and is trying her best to figure out what the hell is up with pinkie and failing spectacularly#twilight also hatched a dragon from an inert stone and people have opinions about that#mostly ‘what are you feeding her’#(holds rarity and applejack) i think they’re neat together#they bond over growing up too quickly and have a vi-caitlynn thing goin on#(squints) didnt draw the cute mark crusaders but they’d be like. the batmen of the town. and it was fun and games until twilight heard#and gave them ACTUAL weapons#rarity#applejack#rainbow dash#twilight sparkle#fluttershy#pinkie pie#spike the dragon#I FORGOT SPIKE#spike’s a stone dragon that hatched from a stone egg. he is not meant to exist. he’s an elderitch horror and a baby boy and we love#and cherish his adorable little face#art#critdraws#Rest your Weary Hooves in our New Found Home
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Mousse has had a lot on her plate, even before arriving at Rhodes Island. How'd she end up taking on even more as a combat operator? Read my first ever fanfic to find out, if you dare!
#I wrote this like... 6 months ago wow! It's been gathering dust since#this was baby's first ever fiction so please be gentle with me#to be clear this is not actually how she became an operator. I actually have no idea if there is anything about that#Mousse is so full of anxiety and depression. Also so much arts power. I love that cat#There really isn't a lot about her in the game! At least not that I've seen so far#arknights#art#digital art#fanfic#Mousse
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get your tickets to the Rat Race
#drawtectives#drawtectives fanart#drawtectives rose#gyorik rogdul#grendan highforge#drawfee#kit draws#saw julia's latest promo art and i was like AAA-#i had a lot of fun recreating the midnight alley typeset!! but it made me miss making vectors in illustrator#csp vectoring isn't the same#first post was a neat study in how julia chooses colors#if i didn't have severe social anxiety i would be the no 1 drawtectives hypeman#next tuesday guys!!!!! AAAAAA
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To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately
#disability#currently going through something like this for myself and while i doubt there's anything 'wrong' i still did it#people are always weird about people who are disappointed or devastated about 'normal results' but...#...it's because normal results don't mean much when you still have the issue at hand...#...if my test came back that my back is physically normal that doesn't indicate that i don't have back pain does it?#because i am still in pain so often even if i have a 'physically normal' back...#...just as an example but i don't think a lot of abled people 'get it'#also like... if your tests are coming back 'normal' every time that might give your care providers pause...#...and they might just start infantilizing you or treating you like a hypochondriac...#...'are you SURE [problem] isn't just anxiety?' 'are you SURE you're actually experiencing [x] or are you exaggerating it?'
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post-canon siffrin design!!!! might change it up more of course but!!!! yeah!!!!
he does HAVE something to represent odile and bonnie too,,, it's not just his partners (romantic & queerplatonic), he's got his family too, i just don't know where to put them yet :) so for now assume he is carrying them in his multitude of pockets!!
#paper craft#isat#in stars and time#siffrin#isat siffrin#isat fanart#isat spoilers#spoilers#yknow!!! jic!!! i mean it's post-canon so not really but i mean...#anyways i'm nervous posting thi one but i wanna try n post my arts anyways so o7!!!!!#it... is to be determined if i'll draw this design a whole lot bc i am anxiety : ) but!! this is a lil design in my hea.d....#also siffrin does wear His bonding earring (the simple star stud) but wear's loop and isa's on his belt bc he doesn't actually like earring#in his ears* BC LIKE... IDK. THE AUTISM. but he likes the symbolism of it all so he'll still keep their bonding earring and have his gay li#stud <3#aaaaalso fun fact his lil without-cloak design is so painfully reminescent of my dnd character;s designs :)#bc i project onto both#and they're both rogues#teehee!!!
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Happy kohane day!!! Kohane is super important to me, as someone who struggles with GAD, watching her grow and flourish has been so nice to see… truly the character of all time!!!
#azusawa kohane#kohane azusawa#vivid bad squad#vbs#project sekai#prsk#prsk fa#fanart#pjsk#Vivid BAD BRAINROT#her passing the cap to her past self means so much to me guys#KOHANE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I COULD CRY#i think the fandom doesn’t give kohane enough credit for what SHE did to overcome her anxieties#a lot of people think it was all because of An… which IS a part of it#but it was Kohane who took the leap in the end#i have been wearing a baseball cap all day in solidarity
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”—ah. seems like mother goose has been playing around in your egg salad. if you won’t dance to that tune, I got others.”
honestly, the would you kindly scene is whatever to me*, code yellow is the more interesting violation/betrayal of the body because of how beautifully it escalates the Fontaine reveal/betrayal and shows how ugly some of those ‘locks and keys’ that Tenenbaum mentions are. not only have you been a tool in another man’s hand this entire time, it goes deeper. your body is not your own.
*there used to be a meandering thought here about the would you kindly scene, but it was really just talking around the fact that I spent way too many years seeing people discuss it in the most insufferable and reductive ways possible when it’s a combination of three or four other things that make that moment compelling lmao
collage credits: heart one/heart two
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#bioshock#honestly if Fontaine was upfront about wanting Ryan dead I’d have done it after ten minutes of walking around Rapture#I have (squints) somehow two ideas about suchong I want to get out. one more abt atlas and manipulation#there’s a specific kind of family adjacent horror occurring in the text and it’s WILD that suchong is the one we hear Jack refer to#in familial terms while two other men force themselves onto you by appropriating the father role over your body :)#to be clear tho I don’t actually think Fontaine had any familial sentiments towards Jack he’s just occupying Ryan’s space now#WHEEZING can you tell that I think every ‘wow a man chooses/a slave obeys is so deep!’ think piece is stupid as hell#thankfully it’s not as prevalent as it was a decade ago but my god people thought it was the height of philosophy for too long#ANYWAY ALL OF THIS TO SAY. there’s a certain kind of trans anxiety/horror in having your body betray you. or generally body#anxiety. but I read a lot about it in a medieval gender context so it’s trans to me. amongst other things.
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I genuinely love not having a crush like I’m not over here feeling physically sick over some mid guy being dry to me I’m literally chilling
#Spring semester of last year was so bad bc I was unironically into 3 guys at once and they were all#Being dry and cryptic to me#And then before that in 2022 I had my horrid situationship#I had a mini obsession arc in dec 2023 over someone but now there hasn’t been anyone since#And my palette is so cleansed#When a girl is like I miss having a crush I’m like you’re literally a masochist#There was very briefly a girl I thought I had a crush on when I realized I’m bicurious but#I haven’t put effort into talking to her bc the idea of pursuing anyone makes me wanna claw my eyes out#I’m pretty sure I ghosted her by like just not responding to her last messsge actually#Not on purpose but more so bc I realized I was feeling the same anxiety I felt whenever I had a crush so I was like#Yeah I’m dropping this for now#I’m also always the most present for my friends when I don’t have a crush so idk#Like I don’t wanna be consumed by anyone I just wanna chill#The solution to not having normal attraction to people is just to not be attracted to anyone at all#I fr cracked it#I always just crave the butterflies out of it and never an actual relationship anyway#But they’re so not worth it#Which is why I always get bored of guys who’re forthright like oh ok you actually WANT something…. U don’t wanna just have fun#Not for me#I think the guys I’m into and I typically diverge in the sense that neither of us wants a relationship but they just wanna fuck me#And I more so just want the butterflies experience / to playact couple for like a couple months but nothing too serious#Which is why it never works#Like it’s not that it doesn’t work bc either of us wants a relationship it’s more that what we want out of the situationship is different#So lame#Ok this was a lot but I literally came to this epiphany while writing these tags
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different.
#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism#i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily#routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun#nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT#like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau#se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe#d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh#at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f#or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful#song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe#s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate#to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th#eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec#ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis#h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make#it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders#tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit#h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his#anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di#fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too#also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#image#art#hero draws sometimes
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