#And I can't do that without an income
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dylawas-reblogs · 11 months ago
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Genuine question @ me: why can't you get it together (rant in tags)
#I almost canceled this post because I saw a cat while sitting in my car waiting to go into my internship#And for a moment everything was okay#anyway actual rant#I got a week off last week for reasons I don't entirely understand (It was the entire department)#And it really kind of reminded me how much I just. Don't like work. period#but i need to get out of this fucking house#And I can't do that without an income#nevermind without health insurance. cant even dream of that#Happy birthday to me by the way#turned 26 five days ago#anyway#i think at this point my problem lies on me just as much as it does society#cuz i had all of last week off and DIDN'T use it to job hunt or do portfolio stuff#and i so immensely regret that#but at the same time when i did look for fucking jobs id qualify for that aren't customer facing#there was basically shit from fuck#i need to see if i can just be somebody's youtube editor#or SOMETHING#because even in the office I'm starting to not enjoy being around other people every day#my coworkers are NOT bad people#but they ARE mormon#and i got a ''nudge'' last week to#idk how to explain what they asked of me#they asked me to get more ''hands on'' with the company social medias?#first of all we are a nonprofit that works with kids. my options are EXTREMELY limited#second no one interacts with our posts even when we ask#i got a couple pointers but its not necessarily stuff thats gonna magically boost our engagements#wow i ''ran out of tags'' okay tumblr#dylawa rants#dylawa rambles
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sapphire-weapon · 1 month ago
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hey question
if i were to open writing commissions, would any of you actually like
buy one
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somecunttookmyurl · 2 years ago
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all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults
you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something
#yeah i have netflix on all day#i am quite literally signed off of work for the -rest of my life-#what the fuck else would you like me to do with my time when most people are in fact at work#or did you think i can't have the tv on and put laundry away at the same time or something#must i work on commissions on silence in a dour room to be perceived as an adult#anyway 'looking after yourself/your home/your pet' is not observable#to anybody who doesn't like ACTUALLY live in your house#unless you are extremely obviously NOT doing it#if a tree falls in a forest etc#owning a house? job. like not even 'in this economy? lol'#disabled people LITERALLY can't because we aren't allowed to have enough savings for a deposit#car? would you honestly trust me with a vehicle lol but also: job#you mostly cannot buy a car without one it's a requirement for the lease#otherwise you aren't 'trusted' to pay it on time#incidentally most landlords will also - perfectly legally - refuse to rent to you because you are going to be unreliable with the rent#which is being paid directly by the gov anyway like take your trust issues up with them bro#a family? if i get married or cohabit with a partner my income gets sliced in half#so to support even myself let alone a child would require. drumroll please. employment#savings? adults have savings right? yeah but unlike you i have a gov enforced cap on mine#'good furniture not shit from ikea' (someone has remarked that ikea furniture is 'college dorm-y' it's going here)#i mean do i have to say it
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reawaken · 4 days ago
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happy monday, as per tradition, i've done it
#tbd /#“reyes the game just came out” let's not worry about that .#(lotsss of rambling + some spoilers in the tags btw. jic)#epilogue gut-punched me so hard i laid there for a good hour or two just. bawling. i went through this game w minimal tears mind u#laughing my ass off then whaBAM. they know how to get me... every fucking time... without fail...#like maji.ma n saej.ima talking about dreams n getting hit with “kiry.u kazu.ma. you never could give up on that one.” what if i backflippe#into incoming traffic. THE REASON MAJIMA WENT TO HAWAII WAS TO FIND THE ELIXIR TO SAVE KIRYU. EVEN L8R WITH RETROGRADE AMNESIA HE WAS STILL#DRAWN TO IT IN HIS JOURNEY WITH NOAH. (VAGUE GESTURES ABOUT FATE) I'M GONNA EAT GLASS.#the fact that it's called the heart of the dragon. like okay. alright. whatever. WHATEVERRRRRRRRRR#noah is also my beloved son. he's everything 2 me... the goromaru is everything 2 me... that's FAMIBLY!!!! loved watching saeji.ma +#nish.ida + mina.mi going along w it all. like ugh fine we'll tag along on this adventure cus u're still my kyodai/boss💔‬#the bonds and drink links broke me esp. they all love and cherish majima so much i can't take it anymore#god. pyih was incredible and sooo much fun. get into these games. i beg... plot w my pookies. let me talk ur ear off. join my insanity#i'll even stream for you if i must. i stream them for buddies all the time. monkey rattling the door bars gif. anyway#if you've reached this far. hi<3 i'm still sick liek a dog<3 BUT trying to power through it with a to-do list for here#aka clean out some drafts + my inbox. start a lil fresh. post another plotting call cus i feel so bad i've not interacted w some moots#and i need to get my mssgs in order... that'll help me (again)#log into viktor and reply to some things there<3 looking directly at rem as i say this#ummm work on that oc blog in the bg as well finally. + possibly. emphasis on posisbly. another blog (yagami judgment) (he never leaves#my mind. sawry!)#my other yakuzas will remain here for now.
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cesium-sheep · 3 months ago
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*gritting my teeth* yes international shipping is expensive but I have already decided that my friends are worth it and my partners with jobs both said they are happy to facilitate me sending these things, even if I do not have the money myself.
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bandedbulbussnarfblat · 6 months ago
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I got a packet from the social security people I have to fill out and have sent back in--by mail--by the 26th. I got it on Friday. And I haven't looked at it til now, bc I was so stressed out about my dog being sick and i feel so overwhelmed. They want all my medical records from the last year, which I don't have, because I've only started keeping that stuff since I had my complete mental breakdown and she took me out of work. And there's so many pages and so much information they want. They have to nitpick my whole fucking life, before they can decide I deserve health. Being disabled in this country is a fucking nightmare. Instead of trying to hep, the just look for reasons to disqualify you. Because they don't want to help us; they just want us to go away
#america is a trashfire#i can't even leave my house alone#i literally have been in tears every time they call me#bc taking on the phone to strangers gives me that much anxiety#i can't function#i can't remember anything longer than a few seconds#i can't focus or concentrate on anything#i have to set alarms just to remind me to do things like eat or take meds#i forget to shower sometimes. others i'm too tired to bother#i literally went an entire week without showering recently. bc i didn't remember to do it#i am not well#and i just need help long enough to get well#but how am i supposed to get it? if they make you wait 200+ days just to hear if your claim is accepted#how am i supposed to survive until then?#I can't work bc i can't leave home with having panic attacks#i can't file for unemployment bc to do so you have to be actively looking for a job#and to get disability i have to prove that i can't work#i could probably work if i found a job i could do from home that payed enough to live off of#not to mention they want me to list any income from may-july#which i didn't make any working. but my brother lives me and gives me money to deposit for the bills#that are all in my name bc he hadn't established credit when we moved in. and my credit was better back then#bc i couldn't afford to leave home until i was 28. so my credit was literally based off my student loan payments#and they were pretty low bc i did the income based thing#i'm getting my parents to come help me with the paperwork#not bc i can't understand it. but bc i literally cannot remember something i read 30 seconds ago
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marklikely · 9 months ago
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letterboxd app apparently has added video ads bc i tried to view my activity and got hit with a 15 second unskippable ad... and deleted the entire app within 10 seconds of encountering this...
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isa-ah · 1 year ago
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god okay we got a sling, a new brace, and a few supplements to help my tendon/muscle heal so. here's to hoping
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lesbian-moon-gf · 6 months ago
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surviving the current age of internet means saying no to subscriptions and premiums for basic features. you must endure the inconvenience of not being able to use every server emoji in discord. you must build the patience to find alternatives like NewPipe so you can listen to music on youtube while your phone screen sleeps. do Not give these corporations your limited disposable income. tiktok not letting me view videos on my phone without downloading the app? i will outlast tiktok and the execs will be remembered as dull,disgusting capitalists. listen to me, listen to me. if you do not know how to pirate shows from hulu, learn. if you can't pirate it, it is not worth the money to rent it. please i'm on my hands and knees. do not accept this form of internet.
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rainbows-caught-on-film · 6 days ago
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I miss California...
#jenneca yaps#i hope i can go back someday. but that's only if it's like....still there#I'm pre emptively grieving the loss of american (and Californian and even texan) culture. like. if we all flee the country. if we go all#iron curtain or states go to war. if the borders close and everyone who didn't already leave got trapped inside or had to flee illegally.#if the whole country goes up in gunfire....#yes we'll still have American media. we tend to shove our music and movies in everyone's faces. but even that is... exaggerated. wrong.#people might recognize red solo cups from tv or might make american cheeseburger or hot dog or new york pizza jokes. they might talk about#the fortune cookies that aren't chinese. the way we had prom and homecoming. sweet 16s. deep fried everything and the rap and hip hop that#the black community grew here. or they might know stonewall. but it's different you know?#everything they know would he secondhand. and meanwhile for me it'd just be a place I can't go back to.#leaving home is one thing. but leaving and knowing you might not come back- or that if you do it might not be the same....#it's very possible I'll never get back to that version of California. and that's.... hurtful for me.#I grew up there. with my valley girl accent that's since been scrubbed to more of a disney channel voice with time.#i grew up drinking in and out milkshakes and going to black bear diner and looking at the palm trees and living in cities#or suburban blocks with tiled roofs and mexican inspired architecture#and having asian reseraunts and coffee shops on every corner.#it wasn't a big deal to not be into sports the way it is here in texas. everyone knew about technology- our movies and cell phones and viral#e celebereities were all right here. it wasn't weird to talk about that stuff over lunch with your friends- you weren't a freak for it.#i miss beach days and bonfires with friends. and i miss the accents. i miss people who sound like me. i miss the way girls would keep#hairties on their wrists like bracelets and guys would wear shell necklaces. i miss surfer lingo and the wacky sideways buildigs and orb#windows in san Francisco. i miss the park we used to vacation to. i miss the valley and the mountains. i miss the weather- i miss wanting to#go outside- feeling like i vould go for a walk without melting or freezing to death. i miss everything being “hella” and everyone being#a “dude” or “guys”. I miss how blue the state was politically. i miss churches that weren't all high and mighty and that accepted queer#people with open arms- where people didn't all dress the same like some sort of cult or all be the same race and income bracket like the#churches here. i miss tanbark and everyone saying “like”. i miss public parks and sprawling libraries with three stories and big statues.#and i don't miss it now but i know I'll miss at least some things about texas#or my alters will.#i miss the ocean breeze and i even miss earthquakes.
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playingplayer2 · 1 month ago
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Haha. So do I just die or what.
Like does my family get a life insurance pay out or anything if I do that
Bc like.
We could use the $$$
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kodapi · 2 months ago
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“Of course I want to relax. But, we don’t all get what we want.” // ( Exhaustion Starters ) from Lio!
     [ To Exhaustion || The Exhausted » Accepting ]
     ‹ There was a small pause with his eyes locked upon Lio's face when he responded that way; the bitter words resonated with Shuuji, and it drew a small frown to his lips for just a moment. It's true that so long as the Freeze Force were out there, peaceful rest was not an option. Perhaps, however, he could still help— thus did he stand to his feet, eyes cast out towards the exit for a moment. ›
    ❝ Let me keep watch and take care of it for a bit then, ❞ ‹ Shuuji would speak up with a gentle tone as he took a couple of steps forward, a sign he had made the decision for them already. › ❝ It isn't much, but even just for a short while... you deserve to have a little rest. I can't selfishly be hiding away when others are suffering, not anymore. ... Let me help. I'll do the best I possibly can for you. ❞
     ‹ It was true that he still was not in complete control of the flames that burned within, but with careful training he was slowly able to get a better grasp upon it. It was this time spent with Lio and the other Burnish that reminded him he still had a place in this world, he still had people he could protect. Lio he was not, and neither did he compare to Gueira or Meis, but there was something there. As the old saying always went... even the smallest spark could create the greatest blaze. As loathe as he was to think about it, it held true in this instance all the same. ›
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astraldraco · 3 months ago
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for some reason it only just now hit me that I don't have to make some big finished thing in order to tell all the little stories I have rolling around in my head, I can just write a description of them and come back later if I want to make a big thing with them. there's nothing stopping me
sometimes you just need a reminder that oh yeah, there are no rules in art and you can do and share whatever you want forever
so! doodles and blurbs about the many little characters and narratives hanging out in my brain hopefully will be happening! assuming I remember and everything :DD
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gncrevan · 3 months ago
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since we're talking about universal healthcare again, and i see germany coming up quite a bit, i wanna say yes obviously it's better than what the US has going on, but i really need people, fellow germans in particular, to stop romanticizing our system, which is universal in name only. because if you've never struggled you may not know this, but your insurance will absolutely deny everything that it legally can. which means anything that requires evaluation, maybe because it's off-label or it's a specific type of healthcare (like hilfsmittel) or it's rare or it goes beyond the minimum required by law. so as a result, i got my social therapy (soziotherapie) denied nine times because the evaluating body (mdk) didn't even read my file. i got the one drug that could maybe give me a somewhat normal life denied because there aren't any large sample studies (it's a rare disorder, there won't ever be large sample studies) and it's off-label and expensive. my brother fought over five years for his medical marijuana, the only pain treatment that works for him, and all that time he was so sick as a result that he couldn't have a job and had to live with my mom. speaking of my mom, they literally denied her transportation to her cancer treatment at first and forced her to go through objection proceedings while undergoing chemotherapy. it took several attempts to get my grandmothers their respective levels of care, as well as disability aids (wheelchair, hospital bed; the co-pay is still high for these). i have an acquaintance who has been denied a wheelchair as well as surgery because he's on the street and doesn't have the means or literacy to go through the required proceedings. because if you do ever want a shot at individualized care while struggling with chronic/severe illness, you better get ready for a grueling process of paperwork you struggle to understand, appointments with medical consultants that do not care how you get there, the disappointment and frustration and depression of constant rejection, mind-numbing calls with your insurance provider, and (if you're unlucky but not willing to give up) court proceedings you likely can't afford. the truth of the matter is our healthcare system has been altered repeatedly to allow for more and more privatization, more and more profit incentive, and thus, more and more patient neglect. as of right now, this doesn't tend to affect the average "healthy" patient, but it's only a matter of time before they, too, become disabled and sick and old, and it's only a matter of time before our system is hollowed out to the point of affecting everyone.
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fazcinatingblog · 6 months ago
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a doctor could easily dissect everything i eat and be like "well, it's definitely caused by all this chocolate" and i'll still die on the hill that my stomach cramps were due to the entire pack of hot dogs consumed this week (some of those were on BREAD which i also blame)
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readymades2002 · 8 months ago
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oh yeah im the joker right now so i can't analyse things anymore. sorry!
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