#And I can't afford the electric traps

[doberbutts]

I would feel bad for the mice that get caught in my traps if it were not for the fact that I have now killed 3 in the span of 2 hours to the same trap. I feel like if you keep sending members of your family out to forage for food and they keep going "ooo! Yummy peanut butter :)" to the same very obvious trap in the same location, at some point that's kind of on you.

So now my reaction to walking into the room and seeing the exact same trap with yet another mouse inside is "...idiot" instead of "poor thing".

[majimasleftasscheek]

I've been thinking, about how you would make sea creature kazumaji... do you already have headcannons for that or is it something more new?

a lil mix of both 🤔 I originally drew eeljima for MerMay and was gonna leave it at that but I got really attached to the idea of kiryu and his dumb fish boyfriend so I rolled with it kdlsjfddsf. I got a few ideas tho 👀

majima's an eel - nothing specific but I leaned to electric since the rpg games give him electricity as an element. also, knifefish (what a coincidentally convenient name 👀) have spots that remind me of his snake's spots so that fit well with his overall theme plus they're related to eels so even better >:D saejima's also a fishdude, a grouper specifically because they're huge and chonky but also gentle uwu

kiryu's a silly lil fisherman guy, one of them commercial types that goes out on a boat to get big hauls. nishiki's there too being the saddest wettest little beast. other characters make up part of the crew in similar ways the canon families are set up. so like kazama and kashiwagi for example are captains of the crew

I have thought about if they were fish too if I wanted to do a branching AU of this and kiryu could maybe be a thresher shark - because they got that big slappy tail but also their huge beautiful eyes™. OR a betta fish because I think the colors would really compliment his heat colors. nishiki can be a koi because of course

kiryu and nishiki live in a lil shack on the shore. nishiki hates it but kiryu likes the simplicity and being close to work. nishiki would move closer to the city but frankly all the haircare product he buys is so obscene that he can't afford a place on his own ✌

majima and saejima (+ yasuko) live in some nearby kelp forests/coral reefs. merfolk tend to stay away from humans and live further out in the ocean, deeper underwater but these three take advantage of all commercial fishing going on to get some easy food. but being so close to fishing trawlers, this leads to majima getting caught in a discarded net, being trapped and beached where kiryu finds him 👀

merfolk can breath air and go on land but it is as awkward as you can imagine. when majima hangs out with kiryu, kiryu drags him up the beach to enough dry land where the tide isn't a problem. merfolk do have to be moisturized often so majima's either doused with a bucket of water or gets a big ass lathering of lotion. whether or not that'd actually be realistic doesn't matter to me I just think it'd be funny for nishiki to be very suspect of the comical amount of lotion kiryu suddenly starts buying

majima's fav thing to do with kiryu is have him fry up some fish since he's never had cooked food before and thinks it's the bee's knees. kiryu will often go into town to buy all sorts of things for majima to try or majima will catch some wack fish from who knows where for kiryu to fry up. they pick secluded beaches as not to be disturbed but kiryu is ready to fling majima into the ocean at a moment's notice just in case

majima has a second set of jaws normally not visible unless he's snacking on a fish. sometimes he pops em out for a smooch and kiryu is wary but willing to try anything 😤 nishiki is often very worried about the numerous weird bite marks kiryu comes home with but kiryu chalks it up to clumsily falling face first into some coral. you can tell by now I'm very into the trope of person dating a cretur is very bad at keeping it a secret dsklgjk

majima tends to have electrical flare ups when he's feeling emotional so kiryu ends up getting zapped a lot. it's not enough to be dangerous but kiryu has since avoided touching light switches and makes nishiki use them first

rarely kiryu will take majima out on the town in a wheelbarrow covered in a blanket and everyone's like *squint* but eventually gets used to his funny lil friend who seems fascinated by literally everything

there's defo some tigerfish action at a later point once nishiki eventually decides to follow kiryu to one of his little secret beachside escapades to not only find out kiryu's being a weirdo as usual but now with a weirdo fishguy. on the other side, saejima is eventually convinced that there is not a bunch of people on the shore waiting with harpoons and nets and joins majima for one of kiryu's fish fries and finds out hey maybe humans ain't so bad if they can put up with majima for more than five minutes

[seat-safety-switch]

Mini-golf is something I've spoken about many times, at great risk to my own life. In my town, you see, the mini-golf industry is represented by an extremely powerful lobby. That's why we have approximately three "courses" for every hundred people, the highest ratio in the world. Why am I against it? No golf carts means no driving.

You might think it's silly to be opposed to mini golf purely on the basis that I don't get to drive a little electric car around the property at irresponsible speeds. I'm sure you have strong opinions about things that I would consider silly, too. That makes you look like an asshole now, doesn't it?

Thing is, enjoying the great outdoors is best done with an open-air vehicle, gazing at the wonders of nature. And even if those wonders of nature have been artificially curated by the same groundskeeper who is now screaming at me for having driven across four sand traps and the country club, it still counts as calming.

Mini-golf? Too damn small. The mind rebels. Not natural, every sense screams, until you end up getting super mad and eject your putter into the parking lot on the 19th stroke on a "par 2" hole while some very patient toddlers wait behind you in line, not yet having been taught the concept of "play-thru," but perhaps also not wanting to pick a fight with a fully-grown adult who achieves apocalyptic rage levels when not operating a motor vehicle.

Now, I've worked out a sort of methadone solution here. Halfway house shit. Because I can't afford to play on the big expensive country club courses (it's sort of a Caddyshack situation, but mostly just the part where they hate me and everything I stand for) I'm stuck with mini-golf, and have to make my time at Al's Little Tee Big Fun and Ed's Big Fun Regular-Sized Balls as enjoyable as possible. That's why I brought a mini-golf-cart.

That's right. For just a few bucks on eBay, you too can avail yourself of a 1:24 scale golf cart that you can take out of your pocket and pretend to drive between the holes. Making vroom-vroom sounds is a little unrealistic for what is supposed to be a brushed-DC forklift motor, but you gotta do what makes you happy. The only downside is that this tiny plastic conveyance came from Playmobil, which almost certainly means it's going to explode in some kind of elaborate German mechanical failure soon. Like the poor guy in the parking lot last time whose GTI had a mini-golf putter get stuck in the windshield.

[2346khith]

Help My Family Escape Gaza 💔

Hello from Gaza,

My name is Waleed, a father from Gaza. My wife Areej, my 3-year-old son Ayman, and I are trapped in a warzone, struggling to survive.😔

For Ayman, war is all he knows. 💔 He has spent a third of his life surrounded by destruction, hunger, and fear. We dream of escaping to Egypt, where he can sleep in peace, but we cannot afford the costs.🥺

I’ve created a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for evacuation and food. Even a small donation can save us. If you can’t donate, please share my pinned post to spread the word.🙏

Your kindness means the world to us. 🙏

✅Vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is (#107)✅

With all my hope,

Waleed Family

https://gofund.me/e85369a1

For those who see this please, visit their blog and reblog their blog’s posts so they  get more attention and if you have the money to spare please donate.

Also I apologize, but I do not have the ability to donate to you. Trust me if I had the ability I would but I don't and I can't. I have no bank account or credit card to transfer money to and no job to gain any money. Every time I ask my parents to help they shut me down so this is the only way to help you. Please forgive me.

[loonarii]

Ari's K-Pop Roundup: May 2024 (aespa, NewJeans, IVE, tripleS, YVES, ARTMS + MORE)

sorry this one was a little late - it was partly due to my personal life being a bit hectic at the moment, and partly due to the amount of stuff I wanted to say about this month's releases. check out last month's installment here, and happy pride month :)))

Supernova + Armageddon - aespa

Instant classic. 'Drama' in all its electric cyber-crush glory is a tough act to follow, but 'Supernova' holds it's ground from the first second and starts being fucking iconic in the next five.

Dem Jointz is all over this track, I love how he gets to go a little wild with the complexity of his production when working with groups like aespa and NCT. The beat bounces and booms, taking the listener on an intergalactic roller coaster ride of dance-pop rhythm, with the aespa girls as our celestial guides. 'Supernova' is a masterclass in vocal mixing and ad libs, Ningning's vocals sound especially addictive on this track, low and oozing confidence. It's an instant hit, and one of aespa's best.

While 'Supernova' feels very much in aespa's usual territory, 'Armageddon' takes a few more risks - it's slightly less dancepop, a little more edgy; less first-listen club banger and more third listen unexpected groove. Don't get me wrong, it definitely maintains the hallmarks of an aespa title track: full of unplaceable futuristic synths, tin-can trap beats, and a deep sliding baseline, but something about that half time chorus and the switch up to focus on the members lower registers more feels so confident. 'Armageddon' depicts an aespa utterly assured in their abilities as idols, musicians, entertainers, and performers, and regardless of it you liked the song or not, I think it is clear to anyone from this title track that aespa have far from reached their peak, and they still have much more to do in this industry.

Frustratingly, the album did not live up to the quality of the titles that represent it. There are a few stand out hits, like 'Bahama', which pulls off y3k h2o just add water mermaidcore effortlessly, as well as 'Set The Tone' a classic aespa style track evocative of the 'Drama' and 'Savage' EPs in sound, and 'Licorice' which apparently is controversial to enjoy, but I can't help but love its bounce and rhythm; but much of the rest of the tracklist fell short. I couldn't help but notice a lack of coherence both in the sound and concept of this era. The album feels like a hodgepodge of tracks rather than a deliberate project - there aren't any through lines between tracks other than aespa's flagship futuristic production style (which isn't actually present on every track but whatever), and each song seems to be appealing to different scenarios of streaming music - BAHAMA is for a summer beach date, but Supernova is for the club, but then Live My Life is for a disney channel original movie starring Demi Lovato?? The overall vibe seems to be disjointed.

This is a problem I have with a lot of aespa's releases since the 'Savage' EP - on the EP or mini album or album or whatever around 65-90% of the tracks are certified bangers, life changing hits, and then there are a few dull fillers to pad the runtime. I know there is a pressure for groups to release something twice a year or so, but I think aespa is at a point in their career where they can certainly afford to release an album once a year if it's for the sake of quality music.

Great titles, poor b-sides - aespa deserves more than a top-heavy album, SM take more than six months next time you want to make an album for them I beg.

How Sweet - NewJeans

It's been a rough couple of months over at HYBE, and considering how sick we are of it as fans and listeners, I can't even imagine how exhausted the members are of the whole ordeal. Being at the centre of one of k-pop's biggest company dramas in history in the middle of your comeback season isn't for the weak, but NewJeans make it look easy. They are back, stronger than ever, with yet another instant classic.

'How Sweet' is the complementary reversal of 'Bubblegum', capitalizing on the members gorgeous lower registers and pairing them with a 90s hip-hop vibe, featuring their signature NewJeans production flairs as always. I've seen a little bit of criticism that this song feels too much like 'ETA', (which I think is a bizarre comparison, it much more sounds like a lovechild of 'OMG' and 'Ditto') but I don't think that groups releasing music in their established sound is a bad thing at all. NewJeans aren't rookies anymore, they have more than proved themselves to be a force to be reckoned with both on the charts and on the stage, and with the korean general public and bunnies themselves consistently loving the NewJeans sonic identity it makes no sense for them to abandon it entirely. They've grown a lot since 'Attention' and 'Hype Boy', and their performance of this song shows that clearly.

The girls' vocals on this song are to die for, every line they deliver exudes confidence and assurance in their capabilities. Danielle and Hanni's little chant of 'Toxic loverrrrr you're no betterrrrr, 거기 숨지 말고 얼른 나와, you little demon in my storyline, don't knock on my door, I'll see you out' is adorable and SO catchy, Danielle's delivery in that outro with her Aussie accent being a highlight of the song as a whole.

Yet another banger from (in my opinion) the most exciting kpop group out right now - it is becoming clearer and clearer to me that the day NewJeans release a bad song is the day pigs fly.

Girls Never Die - tripleS (<ASSEMBLE24>)

The final lineup for tripleS is here, and with it, one of the groups best songs to date. Juggling 24 members in one song is feat few have successfully managed, but tripleS expertly uses the plethora of voices they have at their disposal to deliver a title track as hypnotic as it is anthemic.

'Girls Never Die' has all the hallmarks of a tripleS song we've grown to adore, from y3k style production to the classic 'lalala' hook in the chorus - sonically it both calls back to the groups humble beginnings with Acid Angel From Asia's 'Generation', and looks to the future of the group with its united 24 members. The verses tend to lose me a little, but although they are dull, they are thankfully short, and the chorus is a stunner. The finale of the track is a triumph, the final refrain of 'girls never die 절대 never cry' closing the song giving the effect of a battle cry - to me 'Girls Never Die' says tripleS are here to shake things up in the industry, and release fun music while doing it.

I've enjoyed many a tripleS project before this, with the +(KR)ystal Eyes EP and the 2023 ASSEMBLE album being real highlights. '<ASSEMBLE24>' is immediately one of ( if not their best) albums, b-sides such as 'Beyond the Beyond', 'White Soul Sneakers', and ESPECIALLY 'Chiyu' bringing the heat fully.

tripleS are one to watch, and while I have genuinely no clue what 'decentralized kpop idol group' means or what the fuck an objekt is, trust when I say I will be watching.

Accendio - IVE (IVE SWITCH)

After the exciting return of an IVE that is worthy of their hitmaker epithet with 'HEYA', I was intrigued to see what 'Accendio' would bring to the table other than a matching cherry-red wig moment for the members (which was iconic btw.)

'Accendio' borrows some ideas from garage, but generally just feels very kpop - it's functionally the epicentre of the sounds of the industry right now; a little bit tripleS, a little bit (G)-IDLE, but 100% IVE. It has an ethereal quality, but in the sense of a fallen angel, with the lyrics bringing a sense of Catholic guilt (not sure why this is becoming a trend right now but sure!). The chorus is half high-fashion girlpop with their chant of 'watch me, don't touch me; love me, don't hurt me', and half rhythmic acid trip with the onomatopoeia and the refrain of '주문 걸어, accendio'; it's a highly successful marriage of opposites. To me it recalls the sound of their Japanese single 'WAVE' which I personally loved, and while 'HEYA' is technically a more advanced kpop song production-wise, 'Accendio' just has a pace and rhythm to it that 'HEYA' lacks, making it feel more exciting and engaging.

It's actually kind of crazy how good the rest of the album is, like IVE's b-sides have never been criminally bad, but this is wild. Potentially a niche reference for you 4th gen stans, but 'Blue Heart' and 'Ice Queen' are to 'Accendio' what 'Clue' and 'Note' are to SHINee's 'Sherlock'. 'Blue Heart' expands on that vogueish, runway style sound from the first part of the 'Accendio' chorus, and 'Ice Queen' explores that gossamer flowy sound from the refrain. I doubt this was intentional, but I love any sense of sonic consistency in kpop albums (@rinas4ki this kind of what we were talking about) and all three tracks are very successful.

'WOW' is a little bit of a wildcard, an acoustic style girly type of track that sounds like the kind of thing SM used to force aespa to sing, but it works very well for IVE. That post chorus of 'wowowow' is very cute. 'RESET' also has a little bit of a garage sound, and reminds me a lot of Yves debut (which will be discussed below), and while it is pretty catchy, it isn't especially memorable, especially in the context of IVE's discography and the quality of the other tracks on this mini album, but it is still worth a listen for sure.

Overall I am very impressed with IVE this time around, 'HEYA' is very enjoyable, 'Accendio' is even more enjoyable, and the b-sides don't put a spanner in the works at all, in fact they in many ways boost the overall quality of the comeback, a feat frustratingly rare in the kpop scene. If you missed the 'IVE SWITCH' album this month, I would definitely recommend giving it a listen.

LOOP - YVES (LOOP)

It feels good knowing all 12 members of LOONA have redebuted after leaving BBC, and what a way to end it. Yves has always been one of my biases in LOONA, and this solo debut proves exactly why she's so special.

'LOOP' is a uk garage style kpop classic, and while Lil Cherry's rap occasionally wanders into questionable territory, Yves' vocals melded with the gorgeous Pink Pantheress style production (no she didn't actually produce it, but a girl can dream, right?) make the track the hit it is. I've seen the use of 8-bit sounding vocal processing being criticised online, but I personally love the computerized sound it brings - with Yves lilting 'ooh's and refrain of 'yeah I'm lost but I like it' 'LOOP' creates an atmosphere of a virtual euphoria.

'LOOP' is great and all, but for me the real star of the album is the beautiful, the stunning, the AWE INSPIRING, 'DIORAMA'. It's so effortless in it's production and that chorus is so subtle yet addictive, it's seriously good. 'DIORAMA' has been on repeat since it's release, I can definitely see this one finding a spot high on my top kpop tracks of 2024 list.

The mini album as a whole is amazing, Yves is such an exciting soloist, she clearly has a lot she wants to achieve, and 'LOOP' is evidence of that.

Virtual Angel - ARTMS (Dall)

WARNING - PLEASE READ: If you wish to support ARTMS after reading this review, please be warned that the music video for 'Virtual Angel' contains repeated flashing scenes, and has been reported to trigger seizures, epilepsy and headaches in a small minority of viewers - even the 'Human Eye Ver.' has some flashing elements. Please stay safe!

I think i speak for all orbits when I say we had big expectations for 'Dall'. Both of the Loossemble albums so far have been excellent, Chuu and Yves have been bringing it in their solo projects, and everything we've heard out of Modhaus concerning Loona has been incredible - for ARTMS to stumble with this album would be immensely frustrating. Fortunately, they did not stumble at all, they smashed through the finish line of the Loona redebuts, and elevated the groups post-BBC discography to another level of excellence.

'Dall' is an album that is difficult to put into words. It has the essence of Loona beyond just having Heejin, Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry and Haseul involved, it is genuinely quite moving how it echoes that 'Hi High' sound from so long ago. I say this as a joke a lot, but 'Dall' is genuinely an album that feels like an ascension to another plane of existence - it is euphoric and ethereal, especially in the context of the fight the members and orbits have put up since 2022.

I consider 'Girl Front' the gold standard for Loona songs, and 'Virtual Angel' genuinely comes close to snatching that crown. The whole album is so fucking good, and while I would usually go through the charade of describing every track and its genre influences and whether the hook is catchy or not, I refuse for this album - I will not steal the experience from you of hearing this album for the first time.

So yeah, this is probably a mildly shit review, but PLEASE go stream this album, if there was any post BBC Loona album you were going to listen to, let it be this one (but also the Odd Eye Circle album lmao). 'Virtual Angel' is a triumph, 'Dall' is a triumph, 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy', 'Sparkle' and 'Unf/Air' ESPECIALLY are triumphs.

In conclusion... stan loona.

MINI REVIEWS:

Taxi Blurr - Jay Park (feat. Natty of KISS OF LIFE): i may not like Jay Park, but Natty is and always will be my girl, so here we are. I really love the 90s r&b style of this track, and Natty especially sounds amazing on it - her vocal colour is so beautiful. The two's voices blend really well in my opinion, the harmonies in the bridge are satisfying as hell.

Mona Lisa - Soojin (formerly (G)-IDLE)): questionable album titles aside, Soojin is back with her second comeback post leaving (G)-IDLE. This song is frustrating because it's not really offensively bad in any sense, but it is also not really especially good in any sense either. The budget for the MV is kind of crazy, but I wish they had put some of that into the making of the actual song.

No Biggie + Algorhythm - ITZY: (requested by @a-moth-to-the-light) If you've been on my blog before, you will know that JYP's direction of ITZY's korean releases has been irking me for a while, but somehow when ITZY gets on that plane and lands in Japan I am always obsessed. I'm into pretty much all of their Japanese releases, like Ringo went triple platinum in my mental chart. 'No Biggie' is really cool actually, super catchy and Yuna sounds amazing on it - it feels very laid back and relevant to the 2024 music space, something that ITZY's korean singles seem to struggle with. 'Algorhythm' is also SO GOOD, in production, style, and vocal performance. The music video and song also have major old red velvet vibes, which I love. ITZY - please stay in Japan a little longer, the discography over there is so solid. I miss Lia so much though, I hope she's doing well.

LOST! - RM (BTS): I really appreciate namjoon's artistry, and I actually enjoyed his 2022 album 'Indigo', quite a bit, but this song just doesn't work for me. I have heard from others that the album is something special tho, so if i have a spare half hour I might give it a listen.

나의 이름은 (ROTY) - YOUNG POSSE: I would like to redact my previous statements on young posse, I get it now, and this song is so fun. Very 2000s, very y2k, beautiful production, great raps from everyone, what more could you want.

Supernatural - A.C.E: Saw a GIF from the music video on my dash and decided to check it out, and I was severely impressed. 'Supernatural' is not an ear-splitting noisy headache of a track I have come to expect from kpop boy groups, it's a light hearted, classic Bruno Mars style pop hit. Good music and a well produced fun concept? I need to check out this group more.

[imbluedabadeedabadye]

Jack Kelly is light blue.

The color of bluebirds and Manhattan and the sky out in Santa Fe. The color of freedom and dreamers and dreams pushed down for a day instead spent at work. The blue of artists and bluebells and the spring. But he's also the blue which, although pretty on the outside, is crying out for help underneath it all. Underneath all the freedom is longing, longing to leave and never stay in one place for too long before jumping up and moving again. Underneath the beautiful sky of his personality is a raging storm, one screaming that he's not meant to be here, shouldn't be here, at the moments his newsies treat him kindest. He's the blue sky, but also the blue of lost things.

Crutchie Morris is bright yellow.

The yellow of the ever burning sun, of Apollo's chariot brightening the sky as long as it possibly can. The color of sunflowers and dandelions and golden retrievers, the color of lightning and trophies and victory and dawn. But with the dandelions comes wishes blown away and lost, with the sunshine brightening up the sky comes the yellow of caution tape and anxiety. The yellow of please be careful with me, I'm hurting right now and can't bring you up the way I used to. The yellow of I'm hurting but still trying my best, just please go easy on me- I can't handle everything by myself and hide it all behind a smile anymore. Sometimes his electricity zaps people, and sometimes Crutchie lets people too close to the sun and so they melt and plunge into the sea below.

Racetrack Higgins is neon green.

The green of Monster Energy cans and fresh cut grass, of the plants in Central Park and the lizards and frogs hanging around the ponds he sometimes visits to get his mind off things. The color of science and experiments, of limes and unripened lemons. The color of bounciness and unrest, the color at first screaming "I'm okay" on the outside but once you delve into it you notice it's forcing itself to be okay too hard, the color too bright and artificial to be real. The perfect mix of sky blue and bright yellow, the color the sun and the sky make when you zone out too long and your vision starts to blur. With the neon green comes the color of chameleons, the ability to shift your personality to what the others around you need you to be. Because who is Race if he's not pretending to be the ever-joking, never unhappy prankster?

David Jacobs is the color the sky makes on a rainy day.

The blue of the raging storm of his mind, the thunderclouds hiding behind his polite smile and manners. The blue of stormy seas, of rage and unhappiness and unfairness. The blue of math class and the color the trapped bird sees of the sky when he's locked behind a cage. He's the color of being lost at sea, of the wild rapids down in the Grand Canyon he visited one year with his family when they could still afford to go anywhere. He's the color of raging unhappiness and overthinking every move, but he's also the color of waves gently lapping against boats, of the water down in the harbor he so often visits in Brooklyn when the Manhattan guys get too overwhelming. He's the color of peace and tranquility, but he's also quick to storms of rage and despair.

Spot Conlon is blood red.

The color of Brooklyn and the crabs that snap and pinch if you get too close. The red he so often sees clouding his vision, the blinding red rage of the anger issues he can't control no matter how hard he tries. The red of the blood he often comes home to seeing his newsies covered in, the red of cuts and scrapes and bloody broken noses. He's the red of toughness and of control, the regal red of kings and queens long since past. The red of the circus, of unpredictability and flightiness, of hearts too broken that even diamonds can't ever fix them. He's the red of dusk, of lava and the burning infernos Jack always uses to sell headlines. He's the red of stop signs, of urgently telling people to back down and back away before they get hurt by him. Of hidden pasts and secrets and of urging people to go away before he inevitably snaps and hurts just like the crabs his boys pick through at the docks. But he's also the red of roses, the red of love if you stay long enough to cut past his thorns.

Katherine Pulitzer is bright purple.

The purple close to being magenta but not quite pink enough, of regality and kings and queens and riches. The purple that's just pink enough to be counted as a "woman's color", but also has so much blue to where she never fits in with the women around her. The bright purple of urgency and dawn, of plums and grapes. The purple of the royal she was born to be, the purple of the stronghold her father holds over all of the city. She's the purple of grape soda and pansies, the purple torn between the love of men and women, of a woman torn between the world her father could've given her or the world she could make for herself. But she's just a woman struggling to find her way in a man's ever-judging world, and so she's stuck hoping the dawn of the new decade will be what it takes for her to finally find her place in life.

[anarchomitsumi]

this is such an "oh get over it" dilemma but

you guys know my father pasted away in may. he had a store in our town and owned the property (he wasn't renting). so as his heir the property is gonna be partly mine now, plus my mother's who has right to some of the usufruct. and i have to choose what to do with it.

im a communist, and even if it sounds ridiculous i am 100% serious about it. i do not want to make money off of other people, especially not because im a landlord. i promised myself in adult age i wouldn't become self-interesed or competitive for money and turns out the time to make those choices has arrived way earlier than i would've liked.

having the property empty and closed is out of the question because turns out, owning real state has a cost !! taxes, water, gas, electricity, etc. and as an unemployed 19 year old i cannot afford that.

other option is selling it but this posses two problems: 1) my 5 thousand inhabitants town does not have an economy where someone would be interested in buying the property. 2) my house is directly above the property. I've grown up in this store, it's part of my house to me and i don't think im ready yet to part with it permanently. or risking it turning into a bar and not letting my mother sleep because of the noise. or what if the new owner just rents it themselves and i end up helping nobody?

option 3 is renting it. but like i said i don't want to be anybodys landlord. we already have a local business interested but it's not like i can go up to them and rant about the evils of renting property in communism's eyes or something. most i can try is fighting with my mother to rent it at a low price.

any option to turn it into a social center or similar community project is out of the question because my mother won't allow it

it probably sounds like a a ridiculous situation. a lot of people can't ever aspire to own property and here i am at 19 years old "suffering" because i own property and i can make money off of it. what a struggle.

i understand too that communism's purpose isn't to make me feel morally good. but i genuinely feel trapped between my desire to help others out, my town's frankly dying economy, and risking a break in my relationship with my mother due to idealogical differences.

i don't know what to do. i don't know why I'm posting this either. it's not like my college student mutuals are gonna have an idea of how to get out of this. idk.

[insipid-drivel]

Being disabled and actually starting to live a healthier lifestyle according to the nature of a disability can be so fucking hard.

I know I'm right on the cusp of my quality of life improving dramatically from multiple different factors coming into play recently, but until those things actually happen, all I can do is stay in bed and sit with myselves (DDNOS-1B; google it) while I resist the urge to crumble under all the years of lost opportunities due to my chronic pain and mobility needs.

Like... I know I'm disabled, and have been my whole life, but my journey has been rough as hell. Before I got approved for disability status legally, I couldn't really work despite trying for years to make it as a writer (yeah, I quit, for a lot of reasons), while begging my family to help me out with affording mobility devices.

It took me almost 5 years of pleading just to get my cane. My mom, being my only financial supporter at the time, only ever reacted like I was just being melodramatic. Until I finally got in her face and screamed at her, "I HURT ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I HAVE TO WALK WITHOUT A CANE!"

Another 5 years of begging and pleading for help, and I'm finally getting an electric wheelchair so I can stop pushing myself to walk altogether. A family friend is the owner of a wheelchair and mobility aid company that's not only responsible for some of those awesome offroad wheelchairs with tank treads on them, and he's been sourcing some of the newest and shiniest models of wheelchairs for me with financial assistance, too.

It's just that, now that it's actually in the works and happening, the first thing I have to do is wait. He asked me a lot of questions about my mobility needs and what I like doing that a chair could help me do more easily, and then went off to Miami to a floorshow debut of some even newer-generation, specialty wheelchairs he'll be stocking.

I'm not not excited. I want to be able to move without pain! Of course I want to go outside without worrying I'll fall or have no way to move if my sciatic nerve goes berserk on me! But now that I'm actively waiting for something that's gonna happen, that's actually going to happen...

I've never been more aware of how close my bedroom walls are. I hate asking family members to help me with basic tasks, or even helping me pick up something I knocked over and can't bend down to retrieve/clean up without godawful pain. I've been bedridden for weeks now with what's turned out to be Endometriosis Appearing In My Abdominal Muscles. My PCP has me on a good pain-plan while I wait to see a surgeon (I'm trans so it also doubles as bottom surgery for me yay), but I've never seen myself for how limited I actually am until the promise of more mobility became a reality, and it's really hard not to feel even more self-loathing than I already naturally do.

I'm also angry. Angry that it took so many years of literally crying for help with mobility aids before anyone in my own family took me seriously, while simultaneously wondering why I rarely ever left my room, or even got out of bed, for almost a decade.

At least I have one escape hatch: The DDNOS-1B. I may be in a lot of pain, but Alex has been a champ at fronting for me for hours on end and greying out my senses so I can move around a little more comfortably with less pain medication, get a handful of tiny things done, and getting me fresh air. Sometimes he'll just sit there in front in order to force my perception of time to move faster.

I cannot wait to finally go outside in the sun again when my chair arrives. But until then, I keep remembering the words of Nando Parrado when he was trapped in the Andes and facing despair: "Suffer for a little longer."

[cherubchoirs]

Idk if this makes sense but The Mind Electric by Miracle Musical just fits Micheal in a way...? Especially the parts of "Understand what's going on inside my mind; Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me"

(heads up for searching the song + lyrics - go to the no flash lyric vid here!! the flashing one is REALLY intense!!)

YEA YEA REALLY THO...i love this song and it feels much like the moment he tears the light from himself, as well as what comes immediately after. he pleads forgiveness for his sin, his own soul on trial, just before he's torn apart to feel every inch of his body ripped through and annihilated in a searing agony. yet he simply wakes up. everything is numb, save for the indescribable feeling of death now infecting every fiber of his body, a feeling he can't understand as a once immortal, incorruptible angel. but he knows he's wrong. something went horribly, awfully wrong. his mind is wholly intact and initially he sees no physical evidence of what he's done, but he's trapped. how? his body isn't responding like it used to, his ethereal mind still limitless but stuck, unable to turn to light. of course. still that horror mounts more and more, numb yet so much more aware of his body, his physical being tethering him. he can't leave. he can't get out. this body is sick, he feels it soon enough, and he is within it, jailed inside of it in growing anxiety until he finally sees what he's wrought. skin sloughing, flesh deteriorating, body caving in as he prays in horrified, disbelieving panic. for days on end he pleads to a god who can no longer hear him, rotting away all the time as new life uses his corpse to feed itself. until he breaks entirely. he wakes, passing out after so much frenzied, frantic prayer, to look at himself again, covered in flowers. there is sunlight on him and even if he's no longer afforded its warmth, the flowers turn toward it. it's not so terrible. in fact, he thinks, it could be beautiful.

[stalkedbytrains]

Beneath the Electric Sky, Chain One: Preload

[I originally had this whole plan for this story and I had started writing it in third person like most of my stuff is done. But then I wasn't feeling, skipped over huge sections of it. I then had an idea to change the perspective, stick it in Synthia's POV and ever since then I've been off to the races. This is the first chapter that had been previous posted, redone with the new perspective.]

Sequence One: Specialization

The city's atmospheric regulators were working overtime, venting steam from deep underground. The entire city was bathed in steam and fog as the city tried to deal with the never-ending climate crisis and the still active fallout.

It made it very hard to do surveillance on the building, but did provide me with excellent cover. Not that I really needed it.

But the time crunch was against us. I hate a time crunch.

With the winds coming from the East and blowing the radiation this way, everything had gotten truly fucked. Without the surveillance I couldn't track the impossible assassin. This whole thing was turning into a logistical nightmare.

Just to make absolutely sure I turned the rifle over to what I could see of the perimeter of the building. Hyper advanced military grade turrets ring the building. A small army of fanatical, highly trained members of the Illuminated Path cult. And even worse I could still spot the edges of the slightly invisible EMP generators. Powerful electromagnets that would fry anything with a circuit that tried to get within 100 yards of the building without proper authorization.

It would kill me.

If I even got close to the fields my body would shut down and I'd slowly go brain dead trapped within the shell of my body.

With the damn steam I couldn't see the top of the building, so what defensive measures were up top were a mystery which made anything I tried to do to get into the building essentially useless.

Stealth, insertion, infiltration, and sniping were my expertise. But none of those would let me get even close to the building, close to the target.

I was going to need to get an inside man. Someone inside of the goddamn paranoid cult that was extremely picky about who they let get close, and have so many deep background scans of their employees to make sure no one is turning traitor that it was going to be all but impossible.

Well not impossible, but I didn't have the six months to get close enough.

I was going to need a ringer.

And that meant I was going to have to talk to Seth.

[00·000]

I made it back to the tiny headquarters in the city. It was basically a two bedroom apartment that we had taken over and reformatted to our purposes. I sat at the table, idly disassembling and reassembling my rifle.

"What about a HALO jump? Get in over their defenses?" Seth asked.

Seth was nominally my partner, but I knew that the bosses sent him to keep his eyes on me. Keep me within the Collection.

"We can't see what they've got on the roof. The weather has been absolute shit the last few days and there's no sign of it getting any better in the next few days. We can't afford to wait a few more days. They already know that we are coming for them. Besides HALO jumps are fine, but we're talking about hitting the courtyard of a building. Which is not necessarily the easiest target to hit when falling at terminal velocity. Even if there are no roof defenses, if I'm off on my jump by a little bit I'm smashing into the side of a neighboring building at 120 miles an hour."

Seth rubbed his shitty beard. It made him look like an idiot. "Yeah. So there's no good way in?"

"Not unless you can see something. And I can't lie my way in, since they know what we look like since the fucking debacle with the cops."

He gave me a hard look.

"You can't even remotely blame that bullshit on me," I snapped. "We have strict orders to bring the assassin in, and the cops came in guns blazing absolutely burning that bridge. The assassin shot me three times!"

"So what do you suggest? A tactical nuke?"

I gave him just as flat of a look as he gave me. "We need an inside man, but again, this cult is paranoid as all hell, their members are scrutinized within an inch of their lives constantly. And Arc is still having no luck with his job so maybe you jump his ass about his hacking."

Seth just glared at me. It was clear he was blaming me and had no intention of saying anything to the hacker in the other room who has coming up against just as many brickwalls as I was.

"What do you suggest? There's no other Collection agents on this coast. You want to get some outside help? You?"

"I have friends?"

"Really? You? There's someone out there you haven't gotten killed or personally murdered?"

"Io has known me a very long time. He's one of the great con men, and he's in the city right now. He also has the added benefit of being almost completely human. If he does get caught in the EM field he's not just going to die immediately like I would. Like you would."

Set frowned. "Fine. We don't have many other options and we need this wrapped up quickly. But if this goes sideways, even a little bit, I'm torching this friend of yours."

I sneered at him. Like I would let that happen.

"You know where to find him?" he asked.

"I have a pretty good idea."

[00·001]

There was a black tie party happening at the penthouse of the extremely wealthy socialite and minor celebrity Mason Filmont. The man had a penchant for buying rare and expensive per-singularity technology, and he was both stupid and an asshole, which was Io's favorite target.

Sneaking into the party was extremely easy. It was a party, there was a certain expectation of people coming and going.

I put on a dress I was able to buy real quick along with some appropriate shoes. Not my ideal outfit, but the perfect camouflage for getting into the party.

I'd know Io from before everything. It had been somewhere around twenty years since we were last face-to-face, but we were in a lot of shit together back in the day, so hopefully he wouldn't mind seeing an old friend. Even if that old friend had a new body and new face.

"You know I'm worried about all of these gang killings," I heard one of the group that was standing around Io say.

I approached with a glass of champagne in hand. "I know, dreadful isn't it? But it isn't nearly as bad as those killings back in Dallas twenty years ago. Hundreds of people were killing and a black out that lasted over a week. Now that was something to worry about."

The group looked curiously at me. I smiled sweetly at them, not making eye contact directly with Io, at least not yet.

I was slightly out of place and they knew it, the dress I had on was expensive but not tailored perfectly, it wasn't custom nor was it designer. But I didn't let it affect me. I wore it well all the same.

Even still the group parted to let me in. I've been told that there has always been something about my bearing or aura or whatever that make people give me a wide berth. It always worked out for me.

I finally caught Io's eye and he was studying me closely, trying to figure me out, so I winked at him.

"And you are?" one of the rich ladies to my left asked.

"Synthia," I told her. "Spelled like synthetic. And female pronouns if you don't mind."

Io moved pretty quickly after I introduced myself.

"If you don't mind," he said grabbed me by the elbow, "she's an old friend and we should really catch up." His smile was charming and disarming, and his tone was easy. I could tell he was surprised and a little mad, but he played it off so well.

"Congratulations," he said as we stopped at a balcony near a set of stairs heading down into the main party area of the penthouse.

"Thanks," I respond. "And you might be."

"You know it's me. Io, whatever pronouns, don't care. I haven't seen you in nineteen and a half years. And if I recall correctly it was because you were looking for-"

I hold up a finger to stop him. "I'm always been listened in on so be careful about what you say about before."

Io frown. He was upset, but he stayed put.

"And don't be like that. We've communicated here and there since then."

"That doesn't count." He sighed. "Well you look good. I mean you kept the hair color, which isn't surprising. You still look like you've not slept since I knew you."

I shrugged, not entirely sure what to say to that.

"You still in the military?"

I shook my head. "I got out of that a long time ago. New job, came with the whole new me thing. Super top secret."

"And so you just thought you'd drop in on your old friend Io for shits and giggles?"

"I mean, I've been keeping tabs. You seem to be doing good. Except for that fiasco over in Vegas last year."

"Was that you?"

"I may have made a call to drop that particular warrant," I shrugged. I take care of my friends, regardless of how much time has passed.

"I thought you were dead, or gone, or spirited away to some black site prison. After the shit that you pulled I thought they got you for sure."

"They did."

"Fucking hell," Io said. He was about to say something but he cut himself off. "What's up? Why are you coming back to me now? Am I fucked? Am I being black-bagged?"

"No. I wouldn't let that happen," I said seriously. "I'm just in a severe problem right now and I need a favor."

"Of course. Why didn't that occur to me sooner? I'm on a job, a very delicate one, and I'm close to closing it."

"You're going to what? Steal Mason's cybertruck? That ugly fucking thing?"

"Yes, but that's not the main goal. I was going to steal it as part of the getaway. I mean it's a legendarily bad truck. And Mason has a fully restored 2025 model. I want to drive it so bad. It seems so terrible. But I was going to steal some other stuff. There's a couple of art pieces I have buyers for, and some old video game stuff I want for myself. Then I steal the truck."

I nodded. "I'm impressed. A step up fro the shit you pulled back in the day."

"You're being weirdly coy."

"They don't know a lot about me before I joined the military, and I aim to keep it that way."

"Then you contacting me is..."

"Very serious."

Io sighed, closes his eyes for a long moment, and finished off his champagne. "What's up?"

"You know those murders everyone is concerned with?"

"Yeah, some dude is killing gang leaders.

"And about a hundred other people. Ranging from war criminals to CEO's and randomly some dude in an apartment complex."

Io took a deep breath. "That's a lot of dead people. You know I don't do the violent stuff."

"Well the problem is that the murders are one guy."

"Hasn't this been going on for like one week? He's killed more than a hundred people in less than a week?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck. How do you think I can possibly help you?"

"This guy has some illegal tech I'm going to rip out of him. And he shot me three times."

Io hung his head, resting it on the metal railing of the nearby stairs. He knew what that meant. He knew that I could never let that stand.

"The thing is that I know where the headquarters is, where the cult that is support him is located."

"There's a cult too?" Io whined.

"Yeah."

"Balls."

"It's more religious fanaticism and shit and not like the people sacrificing kind."

"I'm really dreading when you get to the point where you ask me to do something."

"I just need you to open the door."

Io looked at me incredulously. I could feel him studying me, reading me like a mark. He was looking at me searching for the person from twenty years ago. I was still there, buried beneath layers and layers of machines and electronics.

I continued. "The entire area is surrounded by EM fields and guards and turrets and extreme paranoia. They know me because their assassin failed to kill me, so I can't walk in or use any of my usual methods. I can't even get close or I'm gonna die."

Io shuddered. "You really went down that route?"

"Yes." It was the simple answer, the correct one. "It gave me the one thing I've always wanted. The costs were higher than I ever knew, but it was still worth it."

"I love tech, just having it be inside me is gross."

"That's part of the reason why I'm here. You won't instantly die if you screw up like I will."

"How badly does this need to be done tonight?" Io asked as he looked around at the fancy party and the riches and old technology he longed to steal.

"Badly. We've got a very small window to strike before they realize that I'm not dead. If they move we're never getting to the assassin."

"Why not?" Io complained, even though I knew I had him.

"I'm fairly certain the assassin can teleport. So this is our one and only opportunity to get him in his home."

"Fuck me," Io said. "Let's go, but I hope I can at least get paid for this."

"The company has deep pockets."

Io moaned slightly as he didn't want to leave the party. "Don't tell me I'm actually doing work for the Company Company."

"The CIA? Those chucklefucks? Oh hell no."

Io heaved a heavy sigh of relief. "Thank god. They are really the worst."

"Yeah, and they've put out hits on me like three times," I told him as we left the party and went out to the car I had waiting out front.

As we climbed into the car Io turned to me and said, "So I have two questions for you."

"Why Synthia?"

I shrugged. "I thought it was funny."

Io rolled his eyes. "Yeah. That tracks. Second question: does Lorelei know you're alive?"

I swore, loudly and angrily. "No."

my kofi

[mamamittens]

My brother called me and woke me up from my coma, so for the brief moment of time before I go back to being passed TF out, here's some thoughts for Ambiguous Intent (Hitman AU)

Eventually we run into the classic "Caught in the rain/Poor weather" trope.

Still on the fence about what kind but it does require some thoughtful hospitality.

Perhaps it's a coming snowstorm and the boys are worried about Nikia's apartment. It's not a bad apartment by any means but it is affordable and getting supplies ain't cheap.

She insists she's fine with her humble supplies, assuming that her electricity will hold and heating won't be an issue. Not like she planned to leave her apartment during a blizzard. But they want to make sure and, hey, might as well get supplies themselves.

Make it a fun field trip.

A little too late, or maybe the snowstorm came in too fast, and they only had enough time to get back to one dwelling. Blackouts not hoped for but low-key expected. So, naturally, they argue hard for her to stay with them for that.

She can't argue too hard, already seeing the snow build up outside the panicked grocery store.

So, reluctantly, she adds a toothbrush to the pile.

They remove it and add something more than fifty cents worth. Her health is important and well, they won't admit it obviously, but there's hope that she comes over more often.

Driving is a little nerve-racking. Not because of their driving, probably Izou, but because of every one else's. By the time they reach their fancy digs, half the city is shut down and it is FUCKING COLD AS FUCK.

Quickly, they all shuffle inside and Thatch sets up a nice, warm dinner. There is a backup generator for the building but power will be limited if it turns on to essentials only. They won't freeze but a big spread with 70+ heating is probably not in the cards if it happens. Those giant windows are insulated but the cold is relentless.

Izou suggests a movie night piled on the couch to stay warm, which Nikia agrees to easily enough.

There's a bit of an argument as she tries to sit on either side but, man, they're just so concerned about her being warm. Darndest thing.

She loses that fight.

Fully intending on passing out after the movie, she uses that snazzy new toothbrush and settles in. Curled up between them as the movie plays, she's about dead by the time it ends.

She's scooped up and passed out quickly.

Naturally, they don't put her in the guest room. What if the power goes out and she freezes?! Besides, their bed is big enough lol

Izou has to smack Thatch's hands when he notices him kneading her thigh. The man has roaming ass hands but Izou won't have him wake her up. They're so satisfied as they squish in close, feeling the cold creep in as the night goes on. Only so much they could crank up the heat to combat the blizzard outside.

Nikia wakes up briefly in the middle of the night confused and very crowded. Thick arms around her middle and face buried in someone's chest. Two faces tucked into her hair. Legs tangled.

She squirms, trying to gauge her freedom, and gets a light swat to her ass as Izou grumbles, pressing in even closer.

"...no. 'S cold." Someone huffs and she can feel the layer of frigid air over the blanket where the heat is trapped.

His hand drifts in soothing motions from her hip to her waist, fingertips skimming over her ass.

Thatch whines in his sleep as the perceived attempt to leave and his arm moves. Palm settling between her neck and breasts, pressing on her collarbone as he shifted closer to her ass.

"Too close, let go!" She huffs, trying to squirm again. "Why your bed?"

Getting riled up now, they both scooch in even closer, pinning her between them.

"Powers out. Too cold. Go to sleep, hun."

Thatch pressing against her ass and she goes still, finally aware of his half aroused state, just as Izou slides his thigh between hers. Her own slotting up high in her attempt to curl up in her sleep.

They're both in the same state.

Flustered, Nikia is frozen as they assume compliance and settle back down.

She kinda likes them at this point and is torn on how to act.

Obviously, she needs to leave. She does NOT need to be feeling their stiffs in their own shared bed. But clearly they don't care and aren't willing to release her.

But she can try and give them a little more privacy.

"Gotta pee."

She kinda does. Thankfully.

They seem to share some sort of communication halfway between looks and low huffs.

Carefully, Thatch peels away and let's her slip out, mindful to not let in the frigid air as she curses softly.

Blindly stumbling to the bathroom.

She takes care of business swiftly, not caring for how chilly the floor is, intent on going to the guest bedroom with her newfound freedom.

But the minute she's out of the bathroom arms wrap around her and she's pulled to their bedroom. Thatch's expression obscured in the dark but intense. Tired eyes fixed on her flustered ones.

"I--" Thatch presses a kiss to her temple.

"No." There's no room for argument, his hands caressing her chilled arms as she's pulled into their room again. The door firmly closed behind her as she's guided back to bed.

"Don't you two want--" lips press dangerously close to her lips sleepily in the dark.

"You're a perfect guest. It's too cold to argue. Go back to sleep, baby." Thatch coos, all but pushing her into Izou's arms as he slides in behind her.

This time she's got her back to Izou, his arms wrapped around her middle firmly as his nose burrows into her neck. Thatch quick to curl over the both of them and bury her face into his bared chest. Hands soothing over her and Izou as she panics.

They're both still notably aroused but she knows they can't control that. It still feels odd to be between a couple like this but, eventually, she falls asleep.

Spices and cologne in her nose.

"...finally."

"shut up. You're the one who scared her with your dick." Izou huffed softly.

"I could feel where your hand was, baby." Thatch chuckles. "Besides, she should get used to it. Can't help it when I've got two cuties in my bed."

"...the blizzard is supposed to last a few days."

"Well, it's a good thing we've got such a nice bed."

"You planning something?"

"..maybe."

Thatch does not succeed in his dreams of a snow-bound threesome.

The power of denial is too strong with Nikia. It takes both of their persuasion combined just to make sure she doesn't retreat to the guest bedroom in embarrassment.

It'd be easier if personal space meant anything but they're too busy abusing how cold it is to even pretend.

[lyriumheart]

so disabled i hurt walking around my own home heart complications that make physical activity dangerous and yet being refused help or even pain meds bc 'it's cause you're fat' wisdom teeth coming in through side of jaw been on waiting lists for 8+ yrs for hrt with no end in sight can't work bc of health issues have to rarely leave home bc covid still a thing and could severely mess me up and ppl don't fucking mask any more even if i do can't drive bc last attempt caused panic attacks related to traffic trauma and even if that didn't happen i couldn't afford to learn so im trapped unless i can afford a taxi bc i can't walk to the bus stop w/o wanting to vomit from pain hallucinations and recurring psychosis episodes bc of stress and can't get help or medication on government support which barely covers bills electricity and food prices continuing to go up black mold in walls door to home rotting and broken and leaking during flood warning weather desperately trying to keep from relapsing every single day

and now my cat could die

this has got to be some kind of sick joke, right?

[greendragonette]

Ark's No Engrams Challenge, days 6-7:

Tamed an ichty. Getting metal for her saddle took one big travel to Islets' peak. Without spyglass she's of barely any use for me, especially being repeatedly targeted by jellies spawning near base.

So far two young chopses demanded things I can't give them. The last one already has a nice speed boost, so am not really worried about further imprinting, but of course the higher the better.

Re-checked all blueprints. No bola can mostly be negated by traps, but lack of in-mortar blueprints is a problem. Looks like my main mid-to-late game occupation will be fishing and hunting tusos (for rods) and anglers (for electric prod charges). Good thing I have high hp, raising my oxygen now.

Crossbows aside, I'll be entirely reliant on my dinos in boss fights (might afford a few shots at Dragon or Overseer, we'll see). Getting sap with archaeopteryx will be annoying, but true sweet cake bottleneck are stimulants. Don't have any right now, so not sure if they spoil or not; dododex says they do. Edit: luckily, they don't. Got one so far though :P

Even without access to tranq darts, narcs are worth their weight in gold. However, I don't own tranq arrow blueprint. Having a nice saddle blueprint, and no chance of jerkies from preserving bin, time to tame some scorpies and get a bronto farm going. Know a safe-ish place to move to. Keeping diplos for now, they are a good storage and an emergency prime source if it ever comes up.

I'd trade all I own and 10k of cementing paste for a level 1 maewing with primitive saddle.

[inspectorkoo007]

Hello everyone, scientists, doctors out there I have a dilemma that I want you to try to help me solve it.

I have pain in these areas. It comes from the back of my head (right side) to the end of my shoulder in the back, and also from the front in the right chest area. There are numerous symptoms, including burning sensation and feeling of lump in my esophagus(on the right side only) , which can be felt during drinking water or eating. Dizziness feeling like I might black out but never do, when I move my head from side to side or getting up. Tightness in my right chest area feeling like I can't breath. Pressure and pain in my right ear and in my head at the base of the skull, and tightness in my neck right side only. And occasionally I get heart palpitations. One time it felt like i was hit by electrical thing, felt a zap from my chest to my jaw but nothing happened.

My main problem is that I went to several doctors, and I did a lot of blood tests, chest scans, ear exams,and they found nothing other then low iron (11 ) and somehow my lymphocytes were high (52) but no one said anything about it cause my other white blood cells are normal. I know people with lower iron(6) than me and still can breathe right. Every time I go, doctors ask me if I'm sitting at home, which I am cause there's no job out there and they end up calling me depressed, and it's all in my head. Which end up making me more depressed, my symptoms are going worse, I've ran out of money, I can't afford going in without knowing which test I can do that will get me result. I've searched and all I can find is brain tumors and lung related issues. I thought about physical therapy maybe it's a trapped nerve. I just want to breathe help me. Not with money with solution. I'm not hysterical woman.

[the-firebird69]

Сильный боец наказал плохого парня и показал авторитет #shorts #фильмы

And it is the foreigners talking back and saying so much for the slap fight it's true too. And Madonna which is Becca calls her husband to the Mojave and it was not a while ago it hasn't happened yet and she's saying that we're using three to cover stuff but people don't know who's really doing it and they're saying that riders but they don't know who is running things but that's the point they say we're just talking about all of it but we know who's running it and the max are going to tell them they're wrong and there's a few reasons then they'll say they don't care they want to blow it all up and they'll say the reason we can't do that and they'll have an argument for like a month and by that time most of the warlocks are gone

Thor Freya

Olympus

Dimensions say don't want to hear it from us they want us to understand what we're doing wrong and why it's wrong and what we say is why can't we involve them and things like that and they have an argument and we don't see why and we don't believe it's true and we saw him sitting in the mental facility fighting just like everybody else overcoming a lot of stuff we can't no so we're not really impressed and yeah he's got nobody here so it's kind of impressive but we're missing it I guess

Jeff

The point is you always miss it and we can't afford it anymore and the two big guys said that they are completely out of control and say they can do whatever they want then you try and harm them and we need them and you don't know why so we have to shut you down Jeff you're an idiot

Macs

I explained it to a lot and you're a pig in a moron and you don't even get what your wife is saying and she's trapped in someone else's body and you do disgusting things but she's using it to try and get the point across what she's saying is that the actual son it might be shielding what's happening and it's kind of an obvious answer to the question but you don't seem to care about it yeah you understand other things that are more complicated

Mac Daddy

I sort of get something it's not about respect it's about doing the basic math correct I see what she's saying or will say and I understand what it means and we are screwed if it's true and they just come out and say it I would not researching it because they're coming out in the same and saying it

Brad

We think you're dumb Brad and you are and you're a f****** loser everybody on Earth can understand it practically but you why what's wrong with you it can't be true so you won't believe it so it won't look at it you try and stop it I mean you're ridiculous

Becka

It's fairly true and I don't care about it and I don't care to research it and if it's true I guess we're screwed

Brad

You guess so you dumb a****** I'm telling you is these guys have my head severed and it was on their magnetically and somehow it's still alive I don't want to hear from you about how dumb you are but that was gross and my nephew says they had to feed my head he did not see any connections and I may have been prepped for a while and it can be kept alive with the small electrical field created by the magnet as well without the injection I would have died I didn't understand what you're saying but this is why I did don't you give a s*** I can't stand you anymore you're like a piece of crap if we're a name and taking the woods and shooting the s*** shoot you the s*** Brad

Becka

Okay I sort of get it there's something down there they could be in front somewhere else to do something so it looks like they come out and people trace them and I'll be like behind no way man he says that and he's joking because of course I will yeah I'm interested f****** loser so really I guess if the max get at it we can be called a really stupid if he can send it it's beyond it and we don't want to mess it up if the max are at it sounds lame but boy we don't have anything now

Brad

I was also saying that so he decided to just sit there it really that's kind of what you should do no

Becca

So back to square one and he says it's going to shoot my ass off with a gun this is stupid s*** maybe just like watching that lady get the skin ripped off her but it's more on next door I've had enough of this s*** that's so gross yeah we're taking a look at okay there's somebody

Brad

It's about time you didn't come poop he says the master down there figure it out

Beacka

Olympus

[ongoing-catastrophe]

i've been wanting to make this point for a while but havent been able to articulate it this well.

the "happiness index" is cool as a concept, but when you break it down it isnt a functional objective measure of social health. if your family is well fed and all your bills are paid, but you dont have the biggest house on the street, are you happy? if corruption levels are low and education opportunities are equal, but your kid can't get into a fancy school because they don't meet the requirements and you can't bribe their way in, are you happy? if theres an increase in freedom of expression and marriage equality and accessibility, but you're homophobic and don't like seeing disabled people in public because it makes you "feel bad to look at them", are you happy?

at what point is the happiness of consumption *enough* happiness. you own a house and a car but you're not happy because your friend has a helicopter and you don't. you own neither a house nor a car but you're happy because your stomach is full tonight and your parents are visiting.

i fully support moving away from GDP as the main measure of welfare, but there are better indexes. instead of being as subjective as happiness, ask this: how often do people go hungry because they cant afford food? how often does the gas and electric turn off because people can't afford their bills? how large is the wealth disparity? how efficient is the upward mobility? how many people are pulled out of poverty each year? how many are trapped in the poverty cycle?

don't ask how happy people are. some people are happy to have a fire on a cold night. others aren't happy because they couldn't afford a second private jet. measure public safety instead.

Also when it comes to those "happiest countries in the world" studies, it's good to remember that different cultures have different definitions of what counts as "happiness". To some people, being "happy" as a general thing is interpreted as feeling happy most of the time, being thrilled and excited about things at the same rate and frequency as small children are. That's not usually realistic, so naturally a person who considers that as their definition of happiness is going to answer "no" when asked whether they're happy.

And to some, being happy with something is a neutral state, of having no complaints of the thing in question. Your car isn't flashy but it's functional so you say you're happy with your car. Your job isn't glamorous but you'd rather drive to work than into a tree, so you say you're happy with your job. Your life isn't fancy but there aren't any particularly distressing threats terrorising you every day, so you say you're happy with your life.

You can imagine the dissonance that happens when someone with that kind of a definition says "I just want to be happy", meaning that they would simply prefer a life that wouldn't involve as much emotional anguish and suicidal idelation as it currently does, and someone with the former type of definition of "happiness" tells them that it's simply unrealistic to expect to always be happy.